1 00:01:53,230 --> 00:01:58,070 It's time for America's favorite game show: Pig in a Poke! 2 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,410 Pig in a poke It pays to be a glutton 3 00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:06,210 Pig in a poke Oink! Oink! Oink! 4 00:02:06,370 --> 00:02:09,370 Pig in a poke You could win all or nothing 5 00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:12,880 "Pig in a poke Oink! Oink! " 6 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:18,090 So, let's meet our current champions: The Griswalds. 7 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:23,390 Here's the star of our show, Kent Winkdale. 8 00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:27,060 Clark, it's time for your big decision. 9 00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:30,940 Will you keep what's in the poke, or risk everything... 10 00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:33,270 ...and go for the big prize? 11 00:02:33,610 --> 00:02:36,740 Johnny, remind the folks what they've already won. 12 00:02:36,780 --> 00:02:40,110 The super-charged Honda 750 motorcycle! 13 00:02:40,610 --> 00:02:45,700 A dream kitchen with brand new major appliances! And for Clark... 14 00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,660 ...the king of the family... 15 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:50,750 ...a ten-year supply of Regal Car Polish... 16 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,500 ...the car wax of royalty! 17 00:02:53,790 --> 00:02:58,630 First, Clark, remind our audience who you are and what you do. 18 00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:03,970 I'm Clark W. Griswald. I'm in food additives, not preservatives. 19 00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:05,760 Not preservatives! 20 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:09,810 What about the family? 21 00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:13,020 This is my wife, Ellen, my son, Rusty, and daughter, Audrey. 22 00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,150 Hello, Ellen. 23 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:18,610 Hi, Rusty. 24 00:03:20,990 --> 00:03:22,110 Audrey. 25 00:03:35,170 --> 00:03:38,340 You've won some fantastic prizes. 26 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,840 Do you want to keep them... 27 00:03:41,510 --> 00:03:44,640 ...or risk everything, and be a pig? 28 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,310 Be a pig! 29 00:03:50,350 --> 00:03:54,190 Let's keep what we have. I love the Signore Cappuccino. 30 00:03:54,230 --> 00:03:56,730 Don't do it. Nobody ever wins the grand prize. 31 00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,690 We've decided. 32 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,150 Oink, oink. We'll be pigs. 33 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,030 So long, motorcycle. 34 00:04:07,870 --> 00:04:10,660 You're very brave. I wish you luck. 35 00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:14,830 Now, a fantastic surprise. Back, by popular demand... 36 00:04:15,210 --> 00:04:19,250 ...the all-time winningest family in the history of Pig in a Poke: 37 00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:20,880 The Froegers. 38 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,850 The Froegers? No one's ever beaten the Froegers. 39 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,180 Mr. Froeger, tell us about yourselves. 40 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,690 I won my Nobel Prize in 1967. 41 00:04:34,060 --> 00:04:36,400 My wife won hers in 1970. 42 00:04:36,730 --> 00:04:39,730 Our son, Moe, has just been elected to the board of Microtech... 43 00:04:40,070 --> 00:04:42,190 ...a computer software corporation. 44 00:04:42,610 --> 00:04:48,780 Our daughter, Ruth, is the youngest female ever to be accepted at Harvard Law School. 45 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:54,040 Good luck to all of you. Now, let's take a look at our categories. 46 00:04:54,410 --> 00:04:56,250 Pharmacology. 47 00:04:56,290 --> 00:05:00,130 American Explorers. Chronology of the Pharaohs. 48 00:05:00,460 --> 00:05:02,260 The Geography of the Brain... 49 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:06,590 ...and History of Early Hungarian Cabinet Making. 50 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,260 Not bad. 51 00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:11,770 Froegers, since you're the challengers, you get to pick the first category. 52 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:15,390 The Hungarian one. Nobody knows anything about Hungarians. 53 00:05:15,770 --> 00:05:18,730 I don't know. Kent, we'd like The Geography of the Brain. 54 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,730 The question is: 55 00:05:22,610 --> 00:05:25,650 What are the pyramidal tracts? 56 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:31,700 Five seconds. 57 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:35,790 The pyramidal tracts are a housing development outside of Cairo. 58 00:05:39,210 --> 00:05:40,380 Too bad. 59 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:47,090 You're the champions if you answer correctly. 60 00:05:47,470 --> 00:05:49,890 The pyramidal tracts... 61 00:05:49,970 --> 00:05:53,640 ...are a complex of multi-synaptic lower motor neurons... 62 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:57,440 ...which interconnect the basal ganglia with the reticular formation. 63 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:02,520 You said, "Lower motor neurons." The answer is: Upper motor neurons. 64 00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:05,650 - Upper! Upper! - Nobody wins. 65 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:09,450 - We're still in it. - Froegers, select another category. 66 00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:13,040 - Early Hungarian Cabinet Making. - American Explorers. 67 00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:15,500 American Explorers. Griswalds. 68 00:06:16,870 --> 00:06:19,790 In 1804, an expedition explored an area... 69 00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:23,090 ...from the Louisiana territory to the Pacific Coast. 70 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:29,300 For the grand prize, what lieutenant led that expedition? 71 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,390 - I give up. - Wait a minute, Dad. 72 00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:34,930 Quiet down! I think I got this one. 73 00:06:40,770 --> 00:06:41,940 Come on, Dad. 74 00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:44,190 Time's up. Do you have an answer? 75 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,400 - Clark! - That's it! 76 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:48,990 Clark, of Lewis and Clark. 77 00:06:49,530 --> 00:06:52,370 The Griswalds are our grand prize winners! 78 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:01,040 No, that was a mistake! She doesn't know that. 79 00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:03,380 Come on out here! 80 00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:22,480 The Griswalds have just won a fabulous European vacation! 81 00:07:25,730 --> 00:07:28,490 We'll fly the whole family to London, England... 82 00:07:28,570 --> 00:07:33,950 ...to start a two-week vacation extravaganza you'll never forget. 83 00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:38,370 "On to Germany, where you'll enjoy a fine meal at Dieter's... 84 00:07:38,450 --> 00:07:42,460 "...and dance to the gay music of Esther and the Black Forest Girls." 85 00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:47,340 - This is going to be some vacation, kids. - Yeah, Dad. 86 00:07:47,750 --> 00:07:50,380 Rusty, give me a hand and set the table. 87 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,890 Why can't Audrey do it? 88 00:07:53,260 --> 00:07:55,050 Because Audrey has company. 89 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,020 - Rusty, come on! - Wait a minute. 90 00:08:01,270 --> 00:08:03,230 Russ, obey your mother. 91 00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:08,230 I can't stand the thought of being away from you for whole two weeks. 92 00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:10,240 It'll be like before we met. 93 00:08:10,610 --> 00:08:14,780 Before we met, my life was horrible and meaningless. Wasn't yours? 94 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,200 Sort of. 95 00:08:20,870 --> 00:08:22,000 Let's light it up! 96 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,260 Audrey, please eat something. 97 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:33,930 Everybody, listen up. 98 00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:36,930 Let's look at the map and go over our schedule. 99 00:08:38,470 --> 00:08:41,640 The plane will fly us from Chicago to London. 100 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,310 That's Madrid, Dad. 101 00:08:43,980 --> 00:08:48,110 You're right. This must be one of those old medieval maps. 102 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,030 Dad, I made a decision. 103 00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:54,820 I can't leave Jack. Besides, the food in Europe is fattening. 104 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,200 And I like her thin. She eats too much. 105 00:08:57,990 --> 00:09:02,830 Clark, why don't you and I go alone? It's obvious the kids don't even want to go. 106 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,500 Of course they do. 107 00:09:04,830 --> 00:09:07,250 We're a family. We're going to Europe as a family. 108 00:09:07,420 --> 00:09:10,590 - Don't we have a say in this? - I think we should vote on it. 109 00:09:11,670 --> 00:09:16,010 I can be big about this. We'll be a democracy. Everybody votes. 110 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:18,180 Who will be president? 111 00:09:18,510 --> 00:09:21,470 Let's vote on that. We'll have a secret ballot. 112 00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:23,770 Write down your choice... 113 00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:26,350 ...give it to your mother. 114 00:09:30,690 --> 00:09:34,650 This will be for the President of the Republic of Griswald. 115 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,990 All right, that's one for Clark. 116 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,500 One for Rusty. 117 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:47,500 One for Jack. 118 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,710 One for Clark. 119 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:54,380 That's two for Clark. 120 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:58,840 As President of the Griswald Republic, I move we go to Europe. 121 00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:00,850 Jack, you wait here. 122 00:10:09,060 --> 00:10:10,730 What are you doing? 123 00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:14,900 A little memento before we go away, I just got the kids. 124 00:10:15,110 --> 00:10:17,450 I don't want anyone to see me like this. 125 00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:19,870 No one will see you. 126 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:25,200 Remember that song you did in college in that musical? 127 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:29,830 No, I'm not going to do that. I won't do it. 128 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,540 I'm going to erase this. 129 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,300 Okay. Go over there. 130 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,680 I'm ready. Wait a minute. Okay. 131 00:11:40,490 --> 00:11:41,950 Don't stop. 132 00:11:46,830 --> 00:11:49,160 Sexy. I love you. 133 00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:09,100 The Pig in a Poke itinerary is just great. 134 00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:13,810 It's down to the exact minute. We won't miss a thing. 135 00:12:15,020 --> 00:12:18,190 Why don't we forget the itinerary and play it by ear? 136 00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,150 Like normal people. 137 00:12:20,860 --> 00:12:23,320 We're not normal people. We're the Griswalds. 138 00:12:28,370 --> 00:12:30,540 I saved the big surprise for last. 139 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,370 We're turning around? 140 00:12:32,870 --> 00:12:36,540 No, we're visiting my relatives in Germany. 141 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,500 Not if we don't vote for it. 142 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:41,220 - You'll vote for it. - Why should I? 143 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,050 Because I raised your allowance. 144 00:12:45,220 --> 00:12:48,010 I think I'm going to like this democracy stuff. 145 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,810 Something to drink? 146 00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:55,020 - No, thank you. - I'll have a Coke. 147 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,520 Do you want that in the can? 148 00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:00,860 No, I'll have it right here. 149 00:13:06,070 --> 00:13:07,740 Push "French." 150 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,330 - Give me a French word. - Souffl�. 151 00:13:11,910 --> 00:13:15,250 Souffl�. All right. Push "English." 152 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:19,420 Instant translation. Souffl� means... 153 00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:24,220 ..."Souffl�." It's got to mean something else. 154 00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:33,890 The Lord and Lady Poncenby Smythe. 155 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:38,560 The Lady Amelia Spicer and the Baron von Richtshofen. 156 00:13:44,110 --> 00:13:47,280 Mr. And Mrs. Clark and Ellen Griswald. 157 00:13:47,610 --> 00:13:49,280 He came. 158 00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,410 Wonderful. 159 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,540 Hey, Chuck. 160 00:14:00,290 --> 00:14:01,630 Di. 161 00:14:06,590 --> 00:14:08,550 This is my wife, Ellen. 162 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,720 Di. How are you? 163 00:14:10,970 --> 00:14:13,640 I do hope we could have the first dance. 164 00:14:14,140 --> 00:14:18,810 There you go again, Di. Listen, you know the only princess in my life is my wife. 165 00:14:19,310 --> 00:14:21,270 She gets the first dance. 166 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:25,150 - Clark, wait. - Sorry. 167 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,350 There's Rusty! 168 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,400 "The hills are alive 169 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,990 "With the sound of Griswald 170 00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:23,460 "This should spin around for a very long time 171 00:17:25,330 --> 00:17:27,670 "I'm feeling so high 172 00:17:27,790 --> 00:17:30,630 "That I just can't stand it 173 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:34,550 "It's as though I've been here 174 00:17:35,510 --> 00:17:38,640 "For at least a week" 175 00:17:48,690 --> 00:17:50,980 The Royal lmperial Windsor Hotel. 176 00:17:58,530 --> 00:18:00,870 Want me to give you a hand with that? 177 00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:06,120 If you could just get that stuff in... 178 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,210 Carry that. I'll get the luggage out. Rusty, we could use your help. 179 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,010 I can get these bags. 180 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,680 Sure I can't help? 181 00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:23,520 Ellen, do you have any money? 182 00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:26,190 - Would you pay? - No problem. 183 00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:29,900 Camembert cheese is also produced on a large scale... 184 00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:32,820 ...molded by the thousands in giant factories. 185 00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:41,070 Hello! 186 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:51,840 Top of the evening. I'm Clark Griswald from the United States of America. 187 00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:54,710 I believe we have reservations for four. 188 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:03,890 No, you're scuppered, mate. The place is full of macaroons. 189 00:19:04,430 --> 00:19:07,270 I could get on the dog and blow to my mate in Whitechapel. 190 00:19:07,770 --> 00:19:09,900 Dad, he's speaking English. 191 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:12,190 I know. 192 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:15,440 This is from the Pig in a Poke show. 193 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:18,780 They said there'd be rooms for four and a rental car waiting for us. 194 00:19:19,110 --> 00:19:20,910 We're the grand prize winners. 195 00:19:20,950 --> 00:19:23,280 Oink, oink! We'll be pigs! 196 00:19:24,950 --> 00:19:27,660 Oh, the Yanks. Follow me. 197 00:19:30,620 --> 00:19:33,250 Is there anybody to help with the luggage? 198 00:19:34,710 --> 00:19:36,000 Mum! 199 00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:41,300 Kids, help me out. No, please sit. 200 00:19:41,340 --> 00:19:43,100 This is ridiculous. 201 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:48,520 "Sixty-five rooms tastefully decorated, with private bathroom and shower... 202 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,770 "...color television, radio and telephone. 203 00:19:50,850 --> 00:19:54,820 "Deluxe accommodations at the sumptuous Royal lmperial Windsor Arms... 204 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,690 "...combines old-world charm and modem convenience." 205 00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:02,530 Clark, does this look like the room in the brochure? 206 00:20:02,610 --> 00:20:05,950 No, I think they shot this picture from another angle. 207 00:20:06,490 --> 00:20:08,500 It's quaint. I like it. 208 00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:11,580 It'll look better after I've had a hot bath. 209 00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:17,130 Well, the bed is nice and soft. 210 00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:25,300 - There's no bathroom. - Of course, there's a bathroom. 211 00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,680 Europeans go to the bathroom, don't they? 212 00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:36,520 Maybe they don't. 213 00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:43,160 Call the front desk. Something's wrong with this thing. 214 00:20:43,490 --> 00:20:45,820 We've only got four channels, and no MTV. 215 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,990 That's all there are. 216 00:20:56,670 --> 00:20:59,840 Just think of it. Shopping on Bond Street. 217 00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:03,260 Bobbies. Fish and chips. Big Ben. 218 00:21:03,510 --> 00:21:07,010 Shopping on Carnaby Street. It's going to be so romantic. 219 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:38,380 I have to warn you, I'm feeling very naughty tonight. 220 00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:45,430 Congratulations. 221 00:21:57,230 --> 00:21:58,560 What can I do for you? 222 00:21:58,610 --> 00:22:02,110 I want a wake-up call for 7 a.m., please. Good night. 223 00:22:10,410 --> 00:22:11,790 You're in bed, already. 224 00:22:11,870 --> 00:22:14,790 I left a wake-up call to get an early start in the morning. 225 00:22:26,510 --> 00:22:27,430 I love you. 226 00:22:28,590 --> 00:22:32,760 I've been waiting for this. I can't believe we're alone at last. 227 00:22:33,270 --> 00:22:34,600 Just you and me. 228 00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:40,150 I'm so horny. 229 00:22:43,780 --> 00:22:45,780 And these bubbles... 230 00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:48,450 ...make me feel so... 231 00:22:49,620 --> 00:22:51,280 I feel like... 232 00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:53,200 You know. 233 00:22:57,790 --> 00:22:59,790 When did you stop shaving your legs? 234 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,800 Why don't you just jump in here with me? 235 00:23:19,140 --> 00:23:22,270 I think I made a mistake. Is my wife in here? 236 00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:23,320 No. 237 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:26,360 I get confused with the numerous doors. 238 00:23:26,820 --> 00:23:28,820 - I guess this happens a lot. - No. 239 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,830 - Could you unlock your legs from my leg? - No. 240 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,500 My right leg is asleep. 241 00:23:37,500 --> 00:23:39,160 Oh, no. Please don't. 242 00:23:39,670 --> 00:23:41,330 It's very hot in here. 243 00:23:41,670 --> 00:23:43,000 It's hot, yeah. 244 00:23:45,550 --> 00:23:48,510 I got a mild case of herpes. I'll just get out. 245 00:23:49,170 --> 00:23:52,180 Let me just check. I've got a wake-up call. 246 00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:58,350 - You won't believe this. I was in the tub. - I've been looking for our room. 247 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:03,190 - This guy came in with a toothpaste tube. - I went into this lady's room. 248 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:05,520 - I don't know where our room is. - It's right here. 249 00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:07,860 They don't even put numbers on the doors. 250 00:24:09,700 --> 00:24:13,870 Here's our English transportation. Now we'll have some fun. 251 00:24:17,700 --> 00:24:20,160 - Where's the wheel? - Other side, Dad. 252 00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:50,570 You're driving on the wrong side of the road. 253 00:24:50,900 --> 00:24:54,240 I realize that, honey. I'm also on the wrong side of the car. 254 00:25:08,630 --> 00:25:11,920 - I'm sorry. - No trouble, my dear chap. 255 00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:15,470 I've had this bump for ages. Now I have an excuse to fix it. 256 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:17,930 I'm fully covered. 257 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,770 I should thank you. 258 00:25:27,020 --> 00:25:28,730 - Very sorry, again. - No problem. 259 00:25:31,940 --> 00:25:33,610 God, he was nice. 260 00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:38,950 It's not bad in England, huh? 261 00:25:39,450 --> 00:25:42,790 God, I must say, the English are certainly... 262 00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:56,640 We seem to have run into a bit of trouble. What rotten luck. 263 00:25:56,970 --> 00:25:59,810 I'm sorry. I'm trying to get back to our hotel. 264 00:26:00,140 --> 00:26:02,980 An American! Delighted to meet you. 265 00:26:03,310 --> 00:26:05,310 Are you enjoying our country? 266 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,980 If I could get the driving straight... 267 00:26:08,310 --> 00:26:10,650 Don't worry about a little thing like this. 268 00:26:10,980 --> 00:26:14,150 I was driving on the right side of the road... 269 00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:16,490 ...which is the left side of the road. 270 00:26:17,490 --> 00:26:20,990 That's the whole problem. Let me get this for you. 271 00:26:21,330 --> 00:26:23,330 I'll put it back on for you. 272 00:26:23,660 --> 00:26:27,080 Keep that. Take it back to New York as a memento. 273 00:26:27,330 --> 00:26:29,590 Thank you very much. That's very kind of you. 274 00:26:29,670 --> 00:26:32,800 There's another one. Thank you. Good day. 275 00:26:44,930 --> 00:26:46,390 I got the hang of it now. 276 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,520 Just stay on the right side... 277 00:26:51,190 --> 00:26:54,190 Oh, please, let me help you. 278 00:26:54,860 --> 00:26:58,820 No problem. No problem, squire. No harm done. 279 00:26:59,570 --> 00:27:02,740 - It doesn't hurt much. - I'll pay for the damages. 280 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,700 Good heavens, no. No need for money. 281 00:27:07,210 --> 00:27:09,040 I'll be all right. 282 00:27:09,370 --> 00:27:12,210 Can I get you some help? Get you to a phone? 283 00:27:13,210 --> 00:27:15,380 Maybe he knows how to get to the hotel. 284 00:27:15,710 --> 00:27:20,390 I hate to bother you, but we're staying at the Royal lmperial Windsor Arms. 285 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,560 Royal lmperial Windsor! Very nice hotel. 286 00:27:23,890 --> 00:27:25,890 It's a little small. 287 00:27:26,230 --> 00:27:30,230 Well, you go back the way you came, and you keep going to... 288 00:27:32,230 --> 00:27:34,730 You've got a bad cut. We better get you to a hospital. 289 00:27:34,900 --> 00:27:36,740 It's just a flesh wound. 290 00:27:37,070 --> 00:27:39,400 Nothing to write home about. 291 00:27:39,740 --> 00:27:42,570 - Did you say a left or a right? - Just a left. 292 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:44,410 Maybe it's broken. 293 00:27:44,660 --> 00:27:47,580 It's just a leg. I have got another one. 294 00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:50,920 I'll just pop into the chemist's. 295 00:27:51,250 --> 00:27:54,920 Be right as rain tomorrow. The final isn't till Sunday. 296 00:27:56,260 --> 00:28:00,760 Sorry to bother you. You haven't seen a bike around here, have you? 297 00:28:01,090 --> 00:28:03,430 It's right here under the car. 298 00:28:04,260 --> 00:28:06,430 The tire isn't flat, so we're in good shape. 299 00:28:06,770 --> 00:28:10,850 Thanks for the directions. Sorry for what happened. You're all right? 300 00:28:10,940 --> 00:28:14,270 - Sure. - Drive carefully. Have a nice day. 301 00:28:18,940 --> 00:28:22,950 We just drive around this circle. It should be the second left. 302 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:27,620 There's the hotel. Hey, look, there's Big Ben and there's Parliament. 303 00:28:31,790 --> 00:28:33,290 There it is! 304 00:28:33,630 --> 00:28:37,630 I know, I can't seem to get over to the left. I'll try next time. 305 00:28:37,710 --> 00:28:40,340 Sorry. We'll get out of this jam in a minute. 306 00:28:40,970 --> 00:28:43,970 Kids, Big Ben, Parliament, again. 307 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:51,810 Kids. 308 00:28:52,140 --> 00:28:55,310 - We know. Big Ben. - Parliament. 309 00:28:59,990 --> 00:29:01,820 That son of a bitch! 310 00:29:02,650 --> 00:29:04,570 Look, kids. Forget it. 311 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,170 It's amazing. I cannot get left! 312 00:29:17,340 --> 00:29:19,340 There's Big Ben, Parliament. 313 00:29:29,930 --> 00:29:35,230 "When it's time to relax One thing stands clear 314 00:29:36,060 --> 00:29:38,230 "Beer after beer 315 00:29:38,860 --> 00:29:41,030 "If you got the time 316 00:29:41,900 --> 00:29:43,900 "We got the beer" 317 00:29:45,530 --> 00:29:49,200 "Reach out, reach out and touch someone 318 00:29:49,950 --> 00:29:53,960 "Reach out, call up and just say, 'Hi"' 319 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:56,540 What's the matter? 320 00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:00,710 I can't stand it. I'll never make it through two weeks. 321 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:02,130 Two weeks is nothing. 322 00:30:02,210 --> 00:30:06,180 It's 14 times as long as yesterday, and yesterday lasted... 323 00:30:06,890 --> 00:30:08,550 ...an eternity. 324 00:30:09,390 --> 00:30:10,850 Why don't you call him? 325 00:30:11,060 --> 00:30:13,350 - Are you crazy? - What could happen? 326 00:30:13,430 --> 00:30:15,890 Dad could rip out my tongue, that's what. 327 00:30:16,730 --> 00:30:19,570 He wouldn't even notice if you kept it short. 328 00:30:20,230 --> 00:30:23,570 Okay, I'll just say hello and good-bye. Short. 329 00:30:25,070 --> 00:30:27,570 I wonder if anything good's on TV. 330 00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,410 Should I watch cheese or snow? 331 00:30:33,450 --> 00:30:35,410 - Hello? - Hello, Jack. 332 00:30:36,420 --> 00:30:38,920 Oh, God, Jack, I miss you so much. 333 00:30:39,380 --> 00:30:41,170 - Do you miss me? - Yes. 334 00:30:41,250 --> 00:30:42,590 - Really? - Yes. 335 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,590 I miss you so much it hurts. 336 00:30:46,590 --> 00:30:48,340 - I got to go. - What? 337 00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:50,930 - I have to eat. - Your mom's calling you to dinner? 338 00:30:51,430 --> 00:30:52,930 Okay, I'll hold. 339 00:30:54,770 --> 00:30:58,600 - Can we stop? I'm hungry. - Yeah, Dad. Rusty's hungry. 340 00:30:58,730 --> 00:31:00,560 We've got a schedule to keep. 341 00:31:11,780 --> 00:31:15,120 That's it! That's the way I want my hair cut! 342 00:31:15,620 --> 00:31:17,960 You don't want to look like a rooster, do you? 343 00:31:18,290 --> 00:31:22,090 There's Buckingham Palace, where the Queen lives and works. 344 00:31:22,170 --> 00:31:23,800 Works? What does she do? 345 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,960 She queens and vacuums. 346 00:31:32,140 --> 00:31:34,140 We'd like to check out, please. 347 00:31:35,140 --> 00:31:37,640 Yeah, Mr. Greaseball. 348 00:31:37,980 --> 00:31:40,150 Let's tally up your bill. 349 00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:43,150 Will we really have time to see Stonehenge? 350 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:46,400 No problem. I've calculated the driving time. 351 00:31:46,650 --> 00:31:49,070 If we skip lunch, we'll make the plane to Paris. 352 00:31:49,150 --> 00:31:51,660 I'm sick of English food. I feel like a blimp. 353 00:31:51,990 --> 00:31:53,330 You look fine. 354 00:31:53,660 --> 00:31:57,330 Don't I just sign? Pig in a Poke takes care of this. 355 00:31:57,660 --> 00:32:02,170 - It does not include the telephone bill. - We just made a couple of local calls. 356 00:32:04,670 --> 00:32:06,340 That will be... 357 00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:09,680 ...$253 American. 358 00:32:10,010 --> 00:32:12,550 - You're mistaken. - How could that be? 359 00:32:16,180 --> 00:32:18,020 Who the hell called Chicago? 360 00:32:26,860 --> 00:32:30,820 Audrey, your father didn't really mean what he said. 361 00:32:30,900 --> 00:32:32,200 Yes, he did. 362 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:34,870 Not really, honey. He has nothing against Jack. 363 00:32:35,530 --> 00:32:39,200 He's not really going to cut off his balls. Are you, Clark? 364 00:32:43,380 --> 00:32:44,710 Okay, I won't. 365 00:32:45,540 --> 00:32:48,050 Let's relax and enjoy the countryside. 366 00:32:49,420 --> 00:32:53,140 This country is eons old, kids. That's centuries, to you and me. 367 00:32:53,970 --> 00:32:55,300 Charming, isn't it? 368 00:32:56,050 --> 00:32:57,720 It looks like Massachusetts. 369 00:32:57,970 --> 00:33:02,640 It stands to reason. The English settled Massachusetts. The old pilgrims. 370 00:33:04,230 --> 00:33:06,730 Plymouth Rock. That's where it started. 371 00:33:07,070 --> 00:33:09,740 And speaking of rocks... 372 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:14,070 See that? That's Stonehenge. Fantastic. 373 00:33:22,580 --> 00:33:24,080 What the hell is this? 374 00:33:24,420 --> 00:33:28,750 Nobody knows for sure. Some think it's a calendar or an astronomer's tool. 375 00:33:29,090 --> 00:33:31,590 Others think it was built by men from outer space. 376 00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:36,430 The consensus is that it's an ancient timepiece built by the Druids. 377 00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:38,640 Whatever, it's been here a long time. 378 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:40,890 Since 2,000 years before Christ. 379 00:33:42,940 --> 00:33:44,940 It's bound to be here 1,000 more. 380 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:52,280 Stand over there. Act like you're setting your watch. 381 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:56,450 This must be where they sacrificed virgins. 382 00:33:58,120 --> 00:33:59,790 God, I miss Jack. 383 00:34:00,290 --> 00:34:02,960 We've got to go if we want to catch that plane. 384 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:05,330 You're right. 385 00:34:06,670 --> 00:34:07,840 Let's go, Russ! 386 00:34:09,090 --> 00:34:10,250 Come on! 387 00:34:16,130 --> 00:34:17,970 Take a last look, kids... 388 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,720 ...at one of man's most curious creations. 389 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,600 Built to stand the test of time and the elements. 390 00:34:26,980 --> 00:34:29,480 War. You name it. 391 00:34:31,020 --> 00:34:34,240 A thing of glory for a million future generations to see. 392 00:34:35,650 --> 00:34:37,320 And we were here. 393 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,900 Gay Paris. The City of Lights. 394 00:35:10,190 --> 00:35:14,860 This is the famous Left Bank. Can you guess what's on the other side? 395 00:35:15,190 --> 00:35:16,860 The Bank of America. 396 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:25,700 Everybody, get closer to the fountain. 397 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:29,290 If we get any closer, we'll get all wet. 398 00:35:29,540 --> 00:35:31,630 It'll be a good shot. 399 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:35,380 The Griswalds in front of a fountain. Major entertainment. 400 00:35:35,710 --> 00:35:38,050 Russ, get in the middle. 401 00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:42,550 Let me take it. You haven't been in any of them. 402 00:35:43,890 --> 00:35:45,720 I got a good idea. 403 00:35:45,930 --> 00:35:47,640 Monsieur, excusez-moi. 404 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,940 Clark Griswald. United States of America. 405 00:35:51,730 --> 00:35:54,320 My family and I. Would you take a picture of us? 406 00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:55,730 Je ne comprends pas. 407 00:35:56,240 --> 00:35:58,240 Could you photograph us? 408 00:36:01,110 --> 00:36:02,780 - Oui, oui. - Merci. 409 00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,040 - Le bouton. - Poussez. 410 00:36:10,620 --> 00:36:12,580 Okay, Russ, get over here. 411 00:36:22,010 --> 00:36:23,510 Fromage! 412 00:36:24,850 --> 00:36:26,350 Non fromage, cheese! 413 00:36:29,940 --> 00:36:33,440 Une id�e! Enlevez les chaussures et dans la fontaine. 414 00:36:33,810 --> 00:36:35,820 Merveilleux, oui! Les shoes, dans I'eau, vous. 415 00:36:36,780 --> 00:36:39,950 Yeah! Let's take off our shoes and get in the water. 416 00:36:40,450 --> 00:36:42,610 Yeah, okay. It's fun. 417 00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:43,990 Tr�s bien! 418 00:36:58,260 --> 00:36:59,260 Cold! 419 00:37:02,010 --> 00:37:03,970 Parfait! Impeccable. 420 00:37:11,980 --> 00:37:16,650 Clark, there isn't anything on that tape that shouldn't be there, is there? 421 00:37:16,980 --> 00:37:18,440 They took my camera! 422 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:23,990 There isn't anything on that tape that shouldn't be there? Remember? 423 00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:26,490 That's gone, right? You erased it? 424 00:37:26,830 --> 00:37:28,580 Yeah, I erased it. 425 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,330 We'll check in and come back for the cases. 426 00:37:42,050 --> 00:37:44,550 Here we are, kids. Chez Griswald. 427 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,140 We have a reservation for the honeymoon suite. 428 00:37:49,220 --> 00:37:51,350 Mr. And Mrs. Garland. 429 00:37:55,690 --> 00:37:58,360 Clark, look. They must be honeymooners. 430 00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:00,320 Either that or they're Siamese twins. 431 00:38:00,860 --> 00:38:02,860 That's how Jack kisses. 432 00:38:06,700 --> 00:38:08,200 Are you from America? 433 00:38:08,530 --> 00:38:09,740 We are from Chicago. 434 00:38:09,790 --> 00:38:11,790 Chicago. We're from Akron. 435 00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:16,540 We're the Griswalds. I'm Clark, and this is my wife, Ellen. 436 00:38:16,670 --> 00:38:19,340 And my daughters, Audrey and Rusty. 437 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:25,220 You're in Room 714. And please hurry. 438 00:38:28,390 --> 00:38:30,890 I guess it's true. Paris is for lovers. 439 00:38:32,060 --> 00:38:33,390 May I help you? 440 00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:37,400 We're the Griswalds. We have a reservation for two chambres. 441 00:38:37,730 --> 00:38:41,070 We're the grand prize Pig in a Poke winners. Oink, oink. 442 00:38:41,820 --> 00:38:43,900 - May I see your passports? - Of course. 443 00:38:45,740 --> 00:38:47,570 I guess I sign this. 444 00:38:48,570 --> 00:38:52,080 I sign "Griswald" first, right? No, I put "Clark." 445 00:38:52,410 --> 00:38:54,250 I put "Clark." 446 00:38:54,910 --> 00:38:57,080 We don't really speak French. 447 00:39:04,420 --> 00:39:06,260 This is our first day. 448 00:39:14,770 --> 00:39:17,940 What do you think? C'est magnifique, huh? 449 00:39:18,850 --> 00:39:20,440 I'll go get the kids. 450 00:39:21,110 --> 00:39:23,940 Good idea. We'll get a move on. 451 00:39:36,710 --> 00:39:39,460 - Where's Dad? - I'm right here. 452 00:39:40,630 --> 00:39:42,960 Just looking for the Bible. There it is. 453 00:39:43,630 --> 00:39:45,960 Everybody ready? We got a schedule to keep. 454 00:39:46,300 --> 00:39:48,470 I vote we don't see any more museums. 455 00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,140 I vote we don't get anything else to eat. 456 00:39:51,390 --> 00:39:53,970 What's this? Do I detect a note of dissension? 457 00:39:54,310 --> 00:39:56,480 Yeah, Dad. Paris sucks! 458 00:39:56,810 --> 00:39:58,140 Everyone's so rude. 459 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:02,400 - Come on, we're the visitors here. - This isn't Wally World, it's a country. 460 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,980 We're the ambassadors of America here. 461 00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:09,320 To be accepted, we have to fit in, speak the language... 462 00:40:09,660 --> 00:40:13,030 ...wear French clothes. That's why I got us all berets. 463 00:40:20,870 --> 00:40:22,630 Come on, Dad. 464 00:40:23,170 --> 00:40:24,670 This is really rank. 465 00:40:25,670 --> 00:40:27,880 Come on now, Russ. Loosen up. 466 00:40:29,170 --> 00:40:31,130 You don't want to look like a tourist. 467 00:40:32,010 --> 00:40:34,680 All the French wear these. It's the national hat. 468 00:40:36,850 --> 00:40:41,520 I won't wear it. It looks stupid. No girl will want to talk to me. 469 00:40:42,190 --> 00:40:44,520 Then I guess they'll all talk to me. 470 00:40:45,190 --> 00:40:46,860 I vote for berets. 471 00:40:47,190 --> 00:40:48,440 I second the motion. 472 00:40:48,860 --> 00:40:50,200 Berets. 473 00:40:50,530 --> 00:40:52,700 That's three-to-one. You lose, fellow. 474 00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:06,800 France is world famous for its cuisine, so anything will be great. 475 00:41:07,130 --> 00:41:08,630 Order what you want. 476 00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:10,590 Gar�on. 477 00:41:14,550 --> 00:41:18,020 Nous voulons commander � d�jeuner. 478 00:41:28,150 --> 00:41:33,740 Les enfants desire hamburger et frites. 479 00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:42,000 Coca-Cola for the les enfants. 480 00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:48,210 Votre meilleur vin. 481 00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:59,770 You want the souffl�? 482 00:42:01,020 --> 00:42:05,690 My femme would like to commander the souffl� fromage. 483 00:42:06,020 --> 00:42:08,730 Et moi, I'll have the veau, the veal. 484 00:42:14,030 --> 00:42:15,320 Good choice. 485 00:42:17,620 --> 00:42:18,580 Du brie. 486 00:42:21,870 --> 00:42:23,870 Just a little brie, yeah. 487 00:42:24,870 --> 00:42:27,210 We'll get that later. Merci beaucoup. 488 00:42:29,380 --> 00:42:32,590 Okay, just a little bit. That's about it. 489 00:42:34,380 --> 00:42:37,340 Where would you find a waiter like that in the United States? 490 00:42:37,550 --> 00:42:42,100 Honey, speak the language, they're going to be nice. Just try. 491 00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,920 There she is, kids. The Eiffel Tower. 492 00:43:07,250 --> 00:43:09,920 921 feet of historic landmark. 493 00:43:10,250 --> 00:43:12,590 That's more than an acre to us, Russ. 494 00:43:28,810 --> 00:43:31,270 - Let's go to the top, Dad. - Yeah. Let's go. 495 00:43:37,450 --> 00:43:38,780 It's magnificent. 496 00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:44,700 It's breathtaking. 497 00:43:48,670 --> 00:43:51,340 I'm glad we decided to be pigs. 498 00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:55,300 Thank your father. 499 00:43:55,590 --> 00:43:57,720 Thanks, Dad. 500 00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:01,970 It's so beautiful, I feel so... 501 00:44:02,970 --> 00:44:06,310 I feel my juices are just... It makes me so... 502 00:44:07,140 --> 00:44:09,480 I want to write. I want to paint. 503 00:44:09,810 --> 00:44:12,480 I want to sculpt something massive. 504 00:44:12,810 --> 00:44:14,820 I've got a creative urge to... 505 00:44:16,650 --> 00:44:18,990 I wonder if there's a men's room around here? 506 00:44:23,490 --> 00:44:24,990 Look at those things. 507 00:44:25,330 --> 00:44:28,830 - Let's get our picture taken. - No, they're silly. 508 00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:31,920 - I'll buy one for Jack. - Okay. 509 00:45:13,210 --> 00:45:14,540 Rusty. 510 00:45:26,970 --> 00:45:28,680 Russ, what's wrong? 511 00:45:30,390 --> 00:45:33,940 I feel like an idiot because of this stupid hat you made me wear. 512 00:45:36,230 --> 00:45:37,900 I want to talk to you. 513 00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:43,570 Two things. First, you're never an idiot. You're a Griswald. 514 00:45:43,820 --> 00:45:45,160 Understand that? 515 00:45:48,870 --> 00:45:51,280 Second, you know I'd never do anything to injure you. 516 00:45:51,580 --> 00:45:54,580 You know I'd never do anything to hurt my opinion of myself. 517 00:45:56,210 --> 00:45:59,710 If the beret bothers you, it bothers me. If it upsets you, it upsets me. 518 00:46:13,470 --> 00:46:15,930 How did you enjoy shopping today? 519 00:46:16,770 --> 00:46:18,940 Wait until you see what I got. 520 00:46:20,940 --> 00:46:24,110 I got it because the saleslady said it's one of a kind. 521 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:27,780 I'll never find another like it. I know it's silly... 522 00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,320 ...but I only got it for you. 523 00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:36,410 Honey, I wouldn't want the kids to see me in something like this. 524 00:46:38,330 --> 00:46:42,790 Sparky, it's our first night in Paris. Let's do something romantic. 525 00:46:43,130 --> 00:46:46,300 - I'm taking you out to dinner. - "Out"? 526 00:46:47,170 --> 00:46:49,340 I felt like staying in. 527 00:46:49,630 --> 00:46:53,140 I thought it would be really nice to be alone. 528 00:46:57,480 --> 00:46:59,850 I'd never go anywhere without you. 529 00:47:00,150 --> 00:47:03,820 Cheer up. I promised you a night on the town. 530 00:47:03,900 --> 00:47:06,230 We'll see some French culture. You'll love it. 531 00:47:44,310 --> 00:47:46,480 Down with the feet, hip distance apart... 532 00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:49,070 ...stomachs pulled in, buttocks tight. 533 00:47:49,690 --> 00:47:51,530 Let's start with head rolls. 534 00:47:51,740 --> 00:47:55,410 To the right and back and left and forward. 535 00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:09,420 Isn't this great? 536 00:48:11,050 --> 00:48:14,090 They've done this for eons in France. This is real culture. 537 00:48:15,050 --> 00:48:18,930 Exhale and raise your arms over your head. Reach with the right... 538 00:48:19,430 --> 00:48:22,100 Clark, could I have the coat check? 539 00:48:22,390 --> 00:48:25,770 I think I've had enough French culture for one evening. 540 00:48:31,190 --> 00:48:33,410 - Look. - I am looking. 541 00:48:33,740 --> 00:48:35,120 Back there. 542 00:48:38,580 --> 00:48:42,620 - It's just a hooker. They're everywhere. - Look who she is with. 543 00:48:58,260 --> 00:49:00,060 Russell Griswald. 544 00:49:00,970 --> 00:49:03,020 Oink, oink, my good man. 545 00:49:03,770 --> 00:49:05,810 - How did you get in? - I paid. 546 00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:08,860 - I'm surprised at you. - I'm surprised at you, Dad. 547 00:49:08,900 --> 00:49:10,280 Don't talk back. 548 00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:12,820 - Who was that cheap slut? - Cherie's not a slut. 549 00:49:12,940 --> 00:49:14,530 I'm disappointed in you. 550 00:49:14,780 --> 00:49:17,120 Who said, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do"? 551 00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:20,290 I said Rome, not Paris. This is Paris, and you're drunk. 552 00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:29,540 Hold it! 553 00:49:56,490 --> 00:49:57,860 Let me have it! 554 00:49:57,990 --> 00:49:59,820 Today is my turn. 555 00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:01,830 - Give them to me. - No! 556 00:50:05,870 --> 00:50:07,670 Look what you did to them. 557 00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:12,500 They're mine! How many times do I have to tell you that? 558 00:50:23,970 --> 00:50:26,640 Will you slow down? The kids are exhausted. 559 00:50:26,890 --> 00:50:30,610 It closes in 15 minutes. There are 100,000 works of art to see. 560 00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:37,530 Great. Are you happy, Dad? She's dead. 561 00:51:04,260 --> 00:51:06,220 I'm proud of you guys. 562 00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:09,980 We've seen everything in Paris, and we're on schedule. 563 00:51:10,730 --> 00:51:13,770 Can't we slow down a little bit? I'm exhausted. 564 00:51:14,070 --> 00:51:16,900 We'll have a relaxing time with my relatives in Germany. 565 00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:26,580 Enjoying Paris? 566 00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:30,330 Have you seen the Louvre yet? 567 00:51:31,250 --> 00:51:32,580 Not yet. 568 00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:34,590 The Left Bank is charming. 569 00:51:35,300 --> 00:51:36,960 We plan to go there. 570 00:51:37,340 --> 00:51:40,680 - Been up the Eiffel Tower yet? - No, but it's on our list. 571 00:51:42,300 --> 00:51:43,930 Have a good time. 572 00:51:45,310 --> 00:51:49,270 What a waste. We've seen 10 times as much as they have. 573 00:51:53,100 --> 00:51:55,320 Hi, sweetie. You want some breakfast? 574 00:51:55,770 --> 00:51:57,480 I'm not hungry. 575 00:51:58,780 --> 00:52:01,450 He's got his hands on her tits right at the table. 576 00:52:01,820 --> 00:52:03,620 Stop staring. 577 00:52:03,950 --> 00:52:08,450 European standards of public behavior are different than ours. 578 00:52:08,750 --> 00:52:10,410 But they're from Akron. 579 00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:15,630 Audrey, I've missed the shit out of you. 580 00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,300 Luckily, Debbie came by to cheer me up. 581 00:52:18,460 --> 00:52:21,670 - That bitch! - Something the matter, Audrey? 582 00:52:24,340 --> 00:52:26,510 It's time we asked ourselves this question: 583 00:52:26,810 --> 00:52:30,480 Is this relationship strong enough for us to consider seeing other people? 584 00:52:30,810 --> 00:52:32,480 I think it is. 585 00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:37,520 Pass the croissants, please. And the butter and jelly. 586 00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,190 I'm glad your appetite's back. 587 00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:42,400 Who have I got to be thin for? 588 00:52:49,700 --> 00:52:51,200 He's going to pork her. 589 00:52:52,500 --> 00:52:54,870 He isn't going to pork her. Now eat. 590 00:52:55,170 --> 00:52:56,290 I think he is. 591 00:52:57,420 --> 00:52:59,630 He may pork her. Just eat, okay? 592 00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:44,720 There it is, kids. 593 00:53:45,430 --> 00:53:46,970 My motherland. 594 00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:51,060 Dad, Grandma's from Chicago. 595 00:53:51,390 --> 00:53:52,430 Shut up, Russ. 596 00:54:03,070 --> 00:54:06,240 I can't wait to meet our relatives, in person. 597 00:54:08,620 --> 00:54:09,660 Dipplestrabe. 598 00:54:10,410 --> 00:54:12,080 What are we looking for? 599 00:54:12,370 --> 00:54:14,700 - Sechs. - That will do, Audrey. 600 00:54:14,910 --> 00:54:17,000 That's German for "six." 601 00:54:18,790 --> 00:54:20,090 Is that true? 602 00:54:39,100 --> 00:54:41,440 My family and I are looking for sechs. 603 00:54:44,610 --> 00:54:46,150 There's number six. 604 00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:59,830 Fritz, Clark Griswald. Good to see you. 605 00:55:00,130 --> 00:55:03,000 Remember Ellen from her letters? There she is. 606 00:55:03,290 --> 00:55:07,800 And Rusty and Audrey. They've gotten bigger since the pictures. 607 00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:11,590 Sorry we're late. I went to the wrong door. Thanks for the invitation. 608 00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:25,190 This must be the German dining room. Isn't it nice? 609 00:55:25,980 --> 00:55:28,700 Clark, it's just as I imagined. 610 00:55:29,860 --> 00:55:31,450 It's so quaint. 611 00:55:31,570 --> 00:55:34,030 Yeah, maximum quaintness. 612 00:55:35,330 --> 00:55:38,200 You must be Helga. We made it. 613 00:55:38,710 --> 00:55:41,500 You know Ellen, my wife, and Rusty and Audrey. 614 00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:47,710 Let me help you in the kitchen. Come on, kids. 615 00:55:48,010 --> 00:55:50,510 Go help in the kitchen. Help Helga out. 616 00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:54,430 So, Fritz, how you been? 617 00:55:54,550 --> 00:55:56,350 Long time never seen. 618 00:56:15,240 --> 00:56:18,790 Here's your cousin Al. He's a hotshot lawyer. 619 00:56:18,910 --> 00:56:21,410 They'll probably get him on tax evasion. 620 00:56:21,500 --> 00:56:23,120 Here's the baby. 621 00:56:23,580 --> 00:56:27,050 You don't believe that cock-and-bull story about the baby being premature? 622 00:56:29,010 --> 00:56:30,470 I didn't think so. 623 00:56:31,550 --> 00:56:35,890 When me and Jack got together, we'd been seeing other people. 624 00:56:36,260 --> 00:56:39,970 But this is different, because Debbie is my best friend, don't you think? 625 00:56:40,730 --> 00:56:43,400 God, it's so good to have someone to talk to. 626 00:56:43,730 --> 00:56:48,270 I tell my parents stuff but they don't seem to know what I'm talking about. 627 00:56:48,940 --> 00:56:51,530 - What are you talking about? - You see? 628 00:56:54,610 --> 00:56:56,320 God, I miss Jack. 629 00:57:07,340 --> 00:57:11,340 I was just thinking. Blood really is thicker than water. 630 00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:16,930 It's amazing how family ties break through language barriers. 631 00:57:18,050 --> 00:57:20,270 This has been my favorite part of the trip. 632 00:57:26,350 --> 00:57:28,980 Dad, look. Bedpans. 633 00:57:31,360 --> 00:57:34,200 You've been so sweet. Here's our address. 634 00:57:34,530 --> 00:57:37,700 When you come to Chicago, come stay with us. 635 00:57:41,540 --> 00:57:44,040 Thanks for the marvelous conversation. 636 00:57:45,750 --> 00:57:47,330 We'll write. 637 00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:08,230 A festival. 638 00:58:08,860 --> 00:58:11,400 It looks like fun. Come on, kids. 639 00:59:03,790 --> 00:59:06,660 - What's your name? - Claudia. And yours? 640 00:59:07,290 --> 00:59:09,000 - I'm Rusty. - Hello. 641 00:59:14,550 --> 00:59:16,210 Do you ever get to leave here? 642 00:59:22,300 --> 00:59:24,510 What's so funny? This is great, isn't it? 643 00:59:25,270 --> 00:59:26,470 I love these. 644 00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:28,850 Who wants bratwurst, mustard and relish? 645 00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:55,500 Holy shit! 646 00:59:56,090 --> 00:59:58,470 Hey, you! Come on! 647 00:59:59,010 --> 01:00:02,430 Very good. We need one more. A big strong man. 648 01:00:04,180 --> 01:00:07,350 Hey, you! Come on! Come on, don't be afraid. 649 01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:22,950 I don't know if I can do that. 650 01:00:23,070 --> 01:00:25,030 Just follow the others. 651 01:00:45,100 --> 01:00:46,300 Isn't he great? 652 01:02:53,220 --> 01:02:55,930 - Those bells haven't rung in years. - What does it mean? 653 01:02:55,980 --> 01:02:57,940 They're going to hang somebody! 654 01:02:59,350 --> 01:03:00,690 Dad. 655 01:03:13,740 --> 01:03:14,540 Hurry up! 656 01:04:01,080 --> 01:04:02,080 Oh, shit. 657 01:04:06,550 --> 01:04:09,260 - It's too narrow! - There's plenty of room. 658 01:04:09,920 --> 01:04:11,090 I know this car. 659 01:04:15,100 --> 01:04:17,600 Get out! There goes the paint job. 660 01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:00,390 Why the sour puss? 661 01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:05,360 You ruined what could have been the best day of my life. 662 01:05:05,360 --> 01:05:09,230 What are you complaining about? I lost my boyfriend thanks to this vacation. 663 01:05:09,610 --> 01:05:13,410 - I vote we stop talking about Jack. - I vote for that. 664 01:05:13,660 --> 01:05:16,410 I vote we don't talk about schedules anymore. 665 01:05:16,530 --> 01:05:17,490 Me, too. 666 01:05:17,530 --> 01:05:18,740 I'm for that. 667 01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:23,670 I vote we don't talk at all until we get to Rome and everybody calms down. 668 01:05:24,370 --> 01:05:27,340 Maybe then we can act like mature human beings. 669 01:07:32,630 --> 01:07:36,460 Clark, I thought we'd talk. What are we doing? 670 01:07:36,800 --> 01:07:41,470 We're going to a travelers checks place to get our money refunded. 671 01:07:41,550 --> 01:07:43,850 We'll rent a new car, buy some clothes... 672 01:07:44,140 --> 01:07:47,680 ...and finish the best goddamn vacation of our lives. 673 01:07:47,930 --> 01:07:49,140 Let's go. 674 01:07:52,610 --> 01:07:54,860 I think Dad's lost all sense of reality. 675 01:08:04,830 --> 01:08:06,750 Let's get out of here. 676 01:08:07,700 --> 01:08:10,870 What are we going to do with him? Kill him? 677 01:08:11,370 --> 01:08:13,670 Don't be stupid. We never kill anyone. 678 01:08:14,040 --> 01:08:15,630 Then, what do we do? 679 01:08:18,210 --> 01:08:20,220 I've got a better idea. 680 01:08:20,380 --> 01:08:22,180 We can hold him for ransom. 681 01:08:23,090 --> 01:08:24,680 He must be worth something. 682 01:08:27,850 --> 01:08:30,850 Clark! I think this is something historical. 683 01:08:31,190 --> 01:08:33,560 It looks real old, Dad. 684 01:08:35,230 --> 01:08:37,480 That's great. We'll see it later. 685 01:08:37,530 --> 01:08:40,030 Only four more miles. Let's go. 686 01:08:42,860 --> 01:08:46,870 What we need now is a dupe. Someone above suspicion... 687 01:08:47,370 --> 01:08:49,830 ...who will believe anything you tell him. 688 01:08:50,910 --> 01:08:52,620 A real idiot. 689 01:08:52,710 --> 01:08:54,380 Anybody here? 690 01:08:55,880 --> 01:08:59,050 We have no proof we lost the travelers checks. 691 01:08:59,170 --> 01:09:00,970 We left the stubs in the suitcase. 692 01:09:03,930 --> 01:09:05,100 Can I help you? 693 01:09:05,390 --> 01:09:08,720 I'm Clark W. Griswald. We're the grand prize Pig in a Poke winners. 694 01:09:09,680 --> 01:09:14,940 We're in a bind. We lost our luggage, a videotape camera, rented car... 695 01:09:15,020 --> 01:09:19,230 ...and $1,000 in cash. So, I'm just here to get my money back. 696 01:09:20,940 --> 01:09:23,450 I certainly hate to see our customers inconvenienced. 697 01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:35,170 - Name? - Clark W. Griswald. 698 01:09:39,500 --> 01:09:41,170 Ellen Griswald. 699 01:09:45,930 --> 01:09:49,100 These are our children, Rusty and Audrey. 700 01:09:49,260 --> 01:09:51,060 Come over here. Show yourselves. 701 01:09:56,310 --> 01:09:57,770 Here we are. 702 01:10:03,990 --> 01:10:07,950 Excuse me. We lost only $1,000. This is $3,000. 703 01:10:08,160 --> 01:10:09,990 That's to make up for your trouble. 704 01:10:12,500 --> 01:10:14,500 I lost about $200. 705 01:10:18,500 --> 01:10:20,960 Stay quiet. We'll get you out later. 706 01:10:23,300 --> 01:10:27,470 Unfortunately, we somehow misplaced the key to the trunk. 707 01:10:27,970 --> 01:10:31,720 If you tell me where you're staying, we'll send the key there. 708 01:10:32,470 --> 01:10:34,680 At what hotel are we staying? 709 01:10:34,930 --> 01:10:36,900 - The Nazionale. - Very nice. 710 01:10:38,150 --> 01:10:40,520 I didn't know you rented cars. 711 01:10:44,820 --> 01:10:47,110 I'll see you, then. 712 01:10:49,030 --> 01:10:51,160 Let's see some Roman ruins. 713 01:10:51,530 --> 01:10:55,210 We've been in these clothes for ages. Let's go shopping. 714 01:10:55,620 --> 01:10:56,870 I vote for shopping. 715 01:10:57,120 --> 01:10:59,040 I feel totally scuzzed out. 716 01:10:59,210 --> 01:11:04,050 We'd all look good in some Italian fashions. Got plenty of money. 717 01:12:53,870 --> 01:12:56,030 - You look cool. - I feel cool. 718 01:13:00,660 --> 01:13:02,370 Looking good, Mom! 719 01:13:02,620 --> 01:13:06,000 Let's go. We ready to conquer Rome? 720 01:13:21,890 --> 01:13:24,190 I'll be back and we'll hit the fountains. 721 01:13:32,990 --> 01:13:35,660 I'm terribly sorry. Are you all right? 722 01:13:36,660 --> 01:13:38,540 No problem at all. 723 01:13:38,620 --> 01:13:40,330 It's you. The guy from London. 724 01:13:40,500 --> 01:13:42,160 You're the American I ran into. 725 01:13:44,370 --> 01:13:45,880 What are you doing in Rome? 726 01:13:46,540 --> 01:13:49,710 On sick leave. A little holiday. Recovering. 727 01:13:49,880 --> 01:13:51,670 Still on holiday with the kids? 728 01:13:51,760 --> 01:13:54,840 Yeah, we're here. We've just been out shopping. 729 01:13:55,390 --> 01:13:56,930 Nice choice. 730 01:13:57,180 --> 01:13:59,760 They're right there. Kids, look who it is! Say "hi"! 731 01:14:03,390 --> 01:14:05,480 You've got a cast on your leg. 732 01:14:05,850 --> 01:14:10,020 This? Think nothing of it. Hardly matters at all. 733 01:14:10,230 --> 01:14:11,780 It's just a big sock, really. 734 01:14:12,240 --> 01:14:17,200 That's pretty nice of you. I feel bad. At least, let me give you a hand. 735 01:14:17,410 --> 01:14:18,580 No, thanks! 736 01:14:19,030 --> 01:14:20,370 Isn't this your hotel? 737 01:14:20,490 --> 01:14:23,660 No, my hotel's over there. Have a nice holiday. 738 01:14:23,710 --> 01:14:25,420 Okay. Cheerio! 739 01:14:27,710 --> 01:14:29,630 This is the Piazza Navona. 740 01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:30,750 Jack? 741 01:14:33,760 --> 01:14:37,300 It's one of the most fabulous squares in Rome. What's wrong? 742 01:14:37,680 --> 01:14:39,890 I want to go home. I miss Jack. 743 01:14:40,060 --> 01:14:43,560 We have a few more fountains to see, then the Colosseum. 744 01:14:43,640 --> 01:14:46,640 I don't want to see the Colosseum. I want to see Jack! 745 01:14:47,230 --> 01:14:48,690 Jack will always be there. 746 01:14:48,810 --> 01:14:52,480 The Colosseum will always be there. It's been there 2,000 years. 747 01:14:52,690 --> 01:14:56,990 If I don't go home soon, Jack will fall in love with Debbie, and I'll die. 748 01:14:58,620 --> 01:15:01,410 Don't you want to see the Colosseum before you die? 749 01:15:01,530 --> 01:15:03,410 I hate you. 750 01:15:04,580 --> 01:15:06,620 I'll meet you later at the hotel. 751 01:15:07,750 --> 01:15:09,380 What about the fountains? 752 01:15:09,540 --> 01:15:11,250 I'm fountained out. 753 01:15:11,340 --> 01:15:13,000 Clark, let him go. 754 01:15:13,460 --> 01:15:15,880 We're leaving in two days. 755 01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:18,800 These are our last moments together as a family. 756 01:15:19,590 --> 01:15:23,600 Dad, we've been together every second for the last two weeks! 757 01:15:24,470 --> 01:15:28,400 By the way, I've been good. I haven't complained or tried to escape. 758 01:15:28,900 --> 01:15:31,150 Why can't you treat me like a man, for once? 759 01:15:32,610 --> 01:15:34,070 Because you're not a man. 760 01:15:34,480 --> 01:15:38,280 I am, too! I'm 15 years old, a world traveler. 761 01:15:38,360 --> 01:15:41,410 I have a part-time job. I need my independence. 762 01:15:42,120 --> 01:15:44,120 If he's going, I'm going. 763 01:15:44,240 --> 01:15:46,910 Why don't we give the kids some free time? 764 01:15:47,790 --> 01:15:51,130 Sure. Let them go. They're just a couple of ingrates. 765 01:15:51,290 --> 01:15:53,800 They're not ingrates, they're teenagers. 766 01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:56,210 - Where's my allowance? - Where's my passport? 767 01:15:56,300 --> 01:15:58,430 Just a minute! 768 01:15:58,840 --> 01:16:01,090 Let's settle down and be reasonable. 769 01:16:01,390 --> 01:16:05,310 If we think about it, we can all make some compromises. 770 01:16:11,480 --> 01:16:13,310 Oh, my God! 771 01:16:19,490 --> 01:16:21,360 - Take it easy. - I don't believe this! 772 01:16:21,490 --> 01:16:25,450 This is the most humiliating thing you've ever done to me! This is the last straw. 773 01:16:25,700 --> 01:16:28,200 It's not my fault they stole the camera. 774 01:16:28,460 --> 01:16:30,620 You promised to erase it! 775 01:16:31,170 --> 01:16:34,790 I was going to erase it. The guy stole the camera. 776 01:16:34,880 --> 01:16:37,840 This is the lowest, the worst, Clark! 777 01:16:38,970 --> 01:16:42,640 Where are you going? We're going to the Colosseum at 2:00. 778 01:16:42,720 --> 01:16:44,550 I'm going back to the hotel! 779 01:16:46,260 --> 01:16:47,720 We didn't vote on that. 780 01:16:47,720 --> 01:16:50,440 Forget your vote! I'm seceding from the Union... 781 01:16:50,480 --> 01:16:54,020 ...forming my own government, and declaring war on you! 782 01:16:58,740 --> 01:17:02,160 - She knows I didn't do it on purpose. - I don't blame her. 783 01:17:03,780 --> 01:17:06,030 Yeah, it's not even a good likeness, is it? 784 01:17:09,540 --> 01:17:11,460 I guess it's just you and me, Audrey. 785 01:17:18,920 --> 01:17:20,380 Buongiorno. 786 01:17:24,090 --> 01:17:26,300 That's bellissimo. 787 01:17:26,890 --> 01:17:28,350 Really choice? 788 01:17:29,350 --> 01:17:34,560 And I think that you are really bellissimo also. 789 01:17:35,770 --> 01:17:37,770 You're not too shabby yourself. 790 01:17:38,270 --> 01:17:40,990 - You speak English? - I'm from California. 791 01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:43,200 All right! I'm from Chicago. 792 01:17:45,780 --> 01:17:48,330 Do you want to go scarf some grimace proportions? 793 01:17:49,580 --> 01:17:51,250 What are you doing in Rome? 794 01:17:51,580 --> 01:17:53,250 Traveling with my folks. 795 01:17:53,500 --> 01:17:54,830 Me, too. We won... 796 01:17:54,870 --> 01:17:58,380 - Pig in a Poke. I saw the show. - You saw the show? 797 01:17:58,590 --> 01:18:02,050 You answered the Thomas Edison question and won car wax. 798 01:18:02,300 --> 01:18:04,720 - You remembered? - Yes, I thought you were cute. 799 01:18:05,300 --> 01:18:07,100 You thought I was cute? 800 01:18:20,980 --> 01:18:22,940 Finally, there's one of them. 801 01:18:23,190 --> 01:18:24,450 And she's alone. 802 01:18:24,780 --> 01:18:26,780 Let's get the guy out of the trunk. 803 01:18:27,120 --> 01:18:30,120 Too many people here. We'll move the car first. 804 01:18:30,490 --> 01:18:32,290 I'll get the keys from her. 805 01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:10,830 I hate to see a beautiful woman drink bad wine. 806 01:19:11,830 --> 01:19:16,160 Then you should leave, because I'm going to get plastered. 807 01:19:18,170 --> 01:19:19,540 What is it? 808 01:19:21,040 --> 01:19:22,630 Is it your husband? 809 01:19:23,510 --> 01:19:24,590 That pig? 810 01:19:24,840 --> 01:19:26,670 He's not a pig. 811 01:19:33,850 --> 01:19:36,310 He is a pig. He is! 812 01:19:41,560 --> 01:19:42,900 Thank you. 813 01:19:45,530 --> 01:19:48,410 Operator, I'd like the number for information. 814 01:19:48,700 --> 01:19:50,700 I want to call the airport. 815 01:19:55,830 --> 01:19:58,160 Numero, please-o. 816 01:20:01,580 --> 01:20:02,880 Pan Am. 817 01:20:11,430 --> 01:20:14,100 Va bene. Non si preoccupi. Faccio io. Lasci stare. 818 01:20:14,850 --> 01:20:18,690 � stata una disgrazia. Ora rimedio io, piano piano. 819 01:20:19,100 --> 01:20:19,890 Che fa? 820 01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:50,930 Then I rolled on the floor and started going... 821 01:20:54,800 --> 01:20:58,640 I was completely naked. Not completely, I had on a towel. 822 01:20:58,930 --> 01:21:03,440 He promised me he'd erase that. He promised me he'd erase it. 823 01:21:04,310 --> 01:21:06,270 I'm a ruined woman. 824 01:21:07,780 --> 01:21:09,940 I thought this was going to be... 825 01:21:11,950 --> 01:21:14,620 ...like some kind of second honeymoon. 826 01:21:15,620 --> 01:21:19,790 We should have left the children with Helga and Fritz. 827 01:21:23,830 --> 01:21:27,130 I'm sorry, but I should go to my room now. 828 01:21:27,500 --> 01:21:29,460 I'm going to throw up. 829 01:21:34,390 --> 01:21:35,890 Let me help you. 830 01:21:36,180 --> 01:21:38,810 No, no. I'll be fine, really. 831 01:21:39,020 --> 01:21:41,940 I think you'll feel better if you lie down. 832 01:21:44,350 --> 01:21:47,150 I have a philosophy about dealing with my parents. 833 01:21:47,520 --> 01:21:50,490 If I'm in school or hanging out or something... 834 01:21:50,690 --> 01:21:54,860 ...there's all this pressure to act cool or do the right thing. 835 01:21:55,530 --> 01:21:58,160 But if I'm with my parents, who really cares? 836 01:21:58,370 --> 01:22:02,000 They don't know what's cool and what's not, so I just put everything on hold. 837 01:22:02,910 --> 01:22:05,080 That's a great way to look at it. 838 01:22:06,670 --> 01:22:08,340 I'm having a great time. 839 01:22:08,710 --> 01:22:09,750 Me, too. 840 01:22:10,210 --> 01:22:14,180 Imagine coming all the way to Rome to meet someone from California. 841 01:22:19,010 --> 01:22:21,350 Whatever happened to us? 842 01:22:22,520 --> 01:22:24,520 We were high school sweethearts. 843 01:22:24,690 --> 01:22:29,360 We never even did it until we got married. Well, at least until we decided to. 844 01:22:29,860 --> 01:22:32,820 And I left him all alone in that piazza. 845 01:22:33,190 --> 01:22:36,070 I said the "F" word in front of my children! 846 01:22:36,360 --> 01:22:38,870 What kind of woman am I? 847 01:22:39,870 --> 01:22:40,740 Exciting. 848 01:22:42,200 --> 01:22:43,910 Don't fight it, Ellen. 849 01:22:44,410 --> 01:22:46,370 What are you doing? 850 01:22:46,880 --> 01:22:48,880 Let me take you away from this. 851 01:22:49,000 --> 01:22:52,210 I don't want to be away. I want my Sparky back. 852 01:22:53,550 --> 01:22:56,470 It was just a little argument. He'll be here any minute. 853 01:22:57,090 --> 01:22:58,390 He's very jealous. 854 01:22:59,760 --> 01:23:01,140 I'm calling the manager. 855 01:23:02,770 --> 01:23:05,230 I wouldn't do that if I were you. 856 01:23:14,780 --> 01:23:17,110 Are you taking any calls? 857 01:23:20,030 --> 01:23:22,620 The police are here. Stay away from the Fiat. 858 01:23:22,950 --> 01:23:23,950 I'm leaving. 859 01:23:24,040 --> 01:23:25,710 I'll be right down. 860 01:23:26,660 --> 01:23:28,460 Debbie, Audrey! 861 01:23:28,630 --> 01:23:31,090 We've got a score to settle, and you know what I mean! 862 01:23:31,420 --> 01:23:36,260 If you want to salvage our last shred of friendship, do me this favor. 863 01:23:36,760 --> 01:23:41,260 I want you to book me on a Pan Am flight out of Rome into Chicago today! 864 01:23:42,760 --> 01:23:44,470 Yeah, I'll hold. 865 01:23:47,520 --> 01:23:48,400 Bitch. 866 01:23:55,490 --> 01:23:57,450 Take the car keys! 867 01:23:58,950 --> 01:24:00,570 Find your father! 868 01:24:05,160 --> 01:24:06,450 Don't move. 869 01:24:19,630 --> 01:24:21,640 Mom, where are you going? 870 01:24:25,560 --> 01:24:28,480 - What's wrong? - Mom's been kidnapped. 871 01:24:30,480 --> 01:24:32,940 - Where's the car? - Over there. Here's the keys. 872 01:24:59,380 --> 01:25:00,430 There they are! 873 01:25:24,200 --> 01:25:26,530 Hey, Dad, there's the Colosseum! 874 01:25:33,830 --> 01:25:37,550 I've talked so much. What about you? What are your parents like? 875 01:25:38,250 --> 01:25:41,050 There's really not that much to say. 876 01:25:41,420 --> 01:25:43,090 They're just normal parents. 877 01:25:53,100 --> 01:25:55,690 My Dad's all right. He's a little slow sometimes. 878 01:26:03,610 --> 01:26:05,200 God, that's Dad! 879 01:26:06,990 --> 01:26:10,290 - What happened? - Not much. Mom's been kidnapped. 880 01:26:35,400 --> 01:26:36,690 Darn it all! 881 01:26:44,650 --> 01:26:47,450 Excuse me. There's a man in the trunk. 882 01:26:55,830 --> 01:26:57,290 I'm coming! 883 01:27:29,660 --> 01:27:31,530 Take my hand! 884 01:27:37,500 --> 01:27:39,670 Clark, where are you going? 885 01:27:40,040 --> 01:27:41,840 Get back here! 886 01:28:10,700 --> 01:28:11,870 You bastard! 887 01:28:13,740 --> 01:28:15,040 Come here. 888 01:28:22,000 --> 01:28:23,290 Still on holiday? 889 01:28:23,550 --> 01:28:25,710 Sorry. I'm looking for someone else. 890 01:28:25,920 --> 01:28:28,510 No problem. I'm used to it. Good luck! 891 01:28:38,600 --> 01:28:39,940 He kidnapped my wife. 892 01:28:42,560 --> 01:28:43,900 You all right? 893 01:29:01,250 --> 01:29:04,090 I love you, Sparky. You're my hero. 894 01:29:04,340 --> 01:29:05,500 I know. 895 01:29:06,250 --> 01:29:08,920 Your parents are actually pretty cool. 896 01:29:09,260 --> 01:29:12,430 Yeah, they're good for a few laughs, sometimes. 897 01:29:13,430 --> 01:29:15,760 Now can we go home? 898 01:30:06,650 --> 01:30:08,020 Look. 899 01:30:10,320 --> 01:30:12,200 The Statue of Liberty. 900 01:30:14,360 --> 01:30:17,490 I never thought I'd be so glad to see the Statue of Liberty. 901 01:30:17,530 --> 01:30:18,540 Me neither. 902 01:30:19,490 --> 01:30:24,000 The great thing about traveling is you really appreciate coming home. 903 01:30:30,340 --> 01:30:31,720 I've got to go. 904 01:30:37,350 --> 01:30:40,010 I never realized how much I've missed America. 905 01:30:40,850 --> 01:30:43,350 I bet America's missed the Griswalds. 906 01:30:47,060 --> 01:30:50,730 I'm very sorry. Let me get... My jacket is caught. 907 01:31:01,750 --> 01:31:04,160 Yup. The Griswalds are back!