1 00:00:00,037 --> 00:00:03,006 We want to question him in connection with a murder. 2 00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:06,003 And the call girl, too. I know, I paid for it. 3 00:00:06,477 --> 00:00:08,968 Mr. Ritchie, this is Chief Inspector Cockburn. 4 00:00:09,046 --> 00:00:12,243 So now you're the chief. Listen, Chief... 5 00:00:12,583 --> 00:00:14,710 Step out of character for a minute. 6 00:00:14,819 --> 00:00:17,583 You don't realize the seriousness of the situation. 7 00:00:17,655 --> 00:00:19,919 Is this an actor now or a human being? 8 00:00:20,257 --> 00:00:21,884 Neither, sir. I'm a policeman. 9 00:00:21,959 --> 00:00:24,257 Mr. Policeman... 10 00:00:24,595 --> 00:00:27,587 ...I need to buy some more time and I'll pay you handsomely for it. 11 00:00:27,665 --> 00:00:29,690 Are you attempting to bribe an officer? 12 00:00:29,767 --> 00:00:33,100 Do you torture everybody like this, or just Americans? 13 00:00:33,204 --> 00:00:37,004 Look, Mr. Shakespeare, yes, yes, I want to bribe you. 14 00:00:37,141 --> 00:00:39,075 Is the prime minister there? I'll bribe him! 15 00:00:39,143 --> 00:00:42,601 Anybody! You invented the damn language, talk to me! 16 00:00:42,813 --> 00:00:46,772 No wonder you lost the empire! You know what? Scotland's next! 17 00:00:47,384 --> 00:00:48,373 Yes or no?! 18 00:00:48,452 --> 00:00:52,081 Yes or no, you socialist, artsy-fartsy little dweeb?! 19 00:00:52,156 --> 00:00:53,316 Mr. Ritchie... 20 00:00:53,390 --> 00:00:55,358 Okay, fine. 21 00:00:55,793 --> 00:00:58,455 You won't help us, it's not a problem. 22 00:00:58,629 --> 00:01:01,120 We'll do something else. Thank you. 23 00:01:04,201 --> 00:01:05,463 American. 24 00:01:05,970 --> 00:01:07,028 Charlie... 25 00:01:07,471 --> 00:01:09,632 ...it's just a hunch, but I think we might be dealing with... 26 00:01:09,707 --> 00:01:13,643 ...some sort of right-wing extremist what-have-you. 27 00:01:16,146 --> 00:01:17,807 Did you trace that call? 28 00:01:18,215 --> 00:01:20,149 - I'm an actor. - Right. 29 00:01:20,885 --> 00:01:22,819 - Did you trace that call? - Yes, sir. 30 00:01:22,887 --> 00:01:24,320 40 Overbridge Square. 31 00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:25,787 Right. Charlie. 32 00:01:27,324 --> 00:01:31,385 Call out the Armed Response Unit. I want this thing crushed, right now. 33 00:01:33,163 --> 00:01:36,155 Thanks. These actors don't know when to stop. 34 00:01:36,333 --> 00:01:37,891 No, Mr. Ritchie. 35 00:01:38,903 --> 00:01:41,997 The theater community at large are asking: 36 00:01:42,172 --> 00:01:45,505 What went wrong with the Theater of Life tonight? 37 00:01:46,010 --> 00:01:49,173 The police are anxious to interview a Mr. Wallace Ritchie... 38 00:01:49,246 --> 00:01:51,908 ...an American, dark, about six foot... 39 00:01:52,082 --> 00:01:55,415 ...and believed to be armed and extremely dangerous. 40 00:01:56,921 --> 00:01:59,583 - There you are, James. - There you are, finally. 41 00:01:59,657 --> 00:02:00,749 Yes, indeed. 42 00:02:00,824 --> 00:02:03,190 Before we continue, I'm going to... 43 00:02:03,694 --> 00:02:05,127 ...pop down to the cellar. 44 00:02:05,195 --> 00:02:06,787 There's a nice bottle of port... 45 00:02:06,864 --> 00:02:08,661 We've already got one. 46 00:02:08,866 --> 00:02:12,495 True. But it's very dark there and it might take me a few minutes. 47 00:02:13,370 --> 00:02:15,395 I'll be back with the port. 48 00:02:18,309 --> 00:02:19,640 And the car keys. 49 00:02:20,110 --> 00:02:21,543 Oh, dear. 50 00:02:24,882 --> 00:02:26,008 Who's wearing Old Spice? 51 00:02:26,083 --> 00:02:28,381 - Shut up. - I found letters. 52 00:02:28,485 --> 00:02:29,884 But no identification. 53 00:02:29,954 --> 00:02:33,446 Of course not, idiot. He's a professional. 54 00:02:35,592 --> 00:02:37,992 Everybody wants to check minibar. Go away! 55 00:02:38,062 --> 00:02:39,461 It's the plumbers! 56 00:02:39,630 --> 00:02:42,599 Those sons of bitches blew up my Nikita in '79. 57 00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:43,826 Nikita was vicious... 58 00:02:43,901 --> 00:02:46,392 Forget about your dog. Open the door. 59 00:02:46,570 --> 00:02:49,300 Easy for you to say. He's my dog, not your dog. 60 00:02:51,241 --> 00:02:52,299 Come on. 61 00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:54,467 Let go of me. 62 00:02:55,813 --> 00:02:57,644 Get off me! 63 00:02:59,650 --> 00:03:01,948 I thought you were staying in the car. 64 00:03:03,420 --> 00:03:05,854 This is busier than my butcher shop! Go away! 65 00:03:05,923 --> 00:03:07,914 Sergei Nikolivich. Open up. 66 00:03:09,927 --> 00:03:11,155 Don't shoot. 67 00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:13,258 Good to see you. 68 00:03:13,630 --> 00:03:15,598 Here we have our man, in the flesh. 69 00:03:15,666 --> 00:03:17,998 How am I supposed to do my work? 70 00:03:18,168 --> 00:03:20,762 Stop complaining. Give me the letters. Quick. 71 00:03:24,341 --> 00:03:27,606 So, this is him, in the flesh. 72 00:03:28,345 --> 00:03:29,937 Where are the letters? 73 00:03:30,814 --> 00:03:33,942 Spenser, do something. Those are my letters. Bastards! 74 00:03:35,285 --> 00:03:38,618 Come, Sir Roger. We are overdue for banqueting room. 75 00:03:38,722 --> 00:03:40,053 Splendid. 76 00:03:46,363 --> 00:03:47,694 I think... 77 00:03:48,298 --> 00:03:50,960 ...we begin with soft tissue. 78 00:03:58,042 --> 00:03:59,634 Mr. Prime Minister... 79 00:03:59,877 --> 00:04:01,310 ...Mr. President... 80 00:04:01,712 --> 00:04:03,475 ...distinguished guests... 81 00:04:04,148 --> 00:04:06,810 ...my lords, ladies and gentlemen... 82 00:04:07,985 --> 00:04:11,648 ...it's my duty and privilege to welcome you this evening. 83 00:04:12,222 --> 00:04:14,747 Before that historic moment at midnight... 84 00:04:14,825 --> 00:04:18,727 ...when the peace accord is signed between our two countries... 85 00:04:19,229 --> 00:04:21,060 ...we shall be treated to... 86 00:04:21,231 --> 00:04:24,598 ...music and dance that seek to embody the souls... 87 00:04:24,735 --> 00:04:27,670 ...of these two great nations. 88 00:04:33,710 --> 00:04:37,669 - Before torture, we try truth serum? - Please. 89 00:04:53,764 --> 00:04:57,757 Are you a member of our Frequent Renters' Club? 90 00:04:57,935 --> 00:04:59,527 We would like to be. 91 00:04:59,703 --> 00:05:01,694 We have a two-night rental policy. 92 00:05:01,872 --> 00:05:06,206 If the tape stays out longer than that, you're not charged the extra $1.50. 93 00:05:07,044 --> 00:05:08,773 What is your real name? 94 00:05:08,879 --> 00:05:10,574 Wallace Ritchie. 95 00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:13,446 Who is paying for all this? 96 00:05:13,951 --> 00:05:16,215 My brother Jimmy. He's... 97 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:20,622 ...trying to impress the Germans so he gave me this for my birthday. 98 00:05:21,125 --> 00:05:22,387 Happy birthday. 99 00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:24,787 Thank you. 100 00:05:25,395 --> 00:05:27,124 Who you are working for? 101 00:05:27,397 --> 00:05:30,560 Blockbuster Video, Des Moines, lowa. 102 00:05:31,735 --> 00:05:33,396 Who you are working for? 103 00:05:33,971 --> 00:05:36,565 Blockbuster Video, Des Moines, lowa. 104 00:05:36,907 --> 00:05:37,896 Damn. 105 00:05:38,242 --> 00:05:39,971 They trained him so well. 106 00:05:40,244 --> 00:05:44,977 Give him the antidote. I do it old-fashioned-way. I beat it out of him. 107 00:05:55,058 --> 00:05:56,320 This real pen. 108 00:05:56,827 --> 00:05:57,759 Idiot. 109 00:05:57,895 --> 00:05:59,920 I have antidote here. 110 00:06:04,268 --> 00:06:05,826 That is so refreshing. 111 00:06:06,203 --> 00:06:08,364 May I have one of those when we're all finished, please. 112 00:06:08,438 --> 00:06:11,032 Who else knows about these letters, Mr. Ritchie? 113 00:06:11,108 --> 00:06:16,341 Please don't call me by my real name. It destroys the reality I'm creating. 114 00:06:16,914 --> 00:06:19,508 Who are the goddamn Germans? 115 00:06:20,284 --> 00:06:22,115 Time out. 116 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,353 I hate to break out of character, but... 117 00:06:26,523 --> 00:06:29,720 ...you cannot shout into a person's ear. 118 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,518 It does damage. 119 00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:34,289 You know, the spitting I don't mind. 120 00:06:35,265 --> 00:06:36,994 Boris, it's so big. 121 00:06:37,267 --> 00:06:38,791 Boris. Please. 122 00:06:39,303 --> 00:06:41,828 Please. Not like Ponsonby in Helsinki. 123 00:06:42,005 --> 00:06:45,304 Is fun for you, but we have to clean up after. Please. 124 00:06:47,878 --> 00:06:50,039 We do have to do cleanup after? 125 00:06:50,214 --> 00:06:52,341 Always. You're right. 126 00:06:54,885 --> 00:06:57,149 Sometimes it's foolish to be so brave. 127 00:06:57,487 --> 00:06:59,318 You leave us no alternative. 128 00:06:59,389 --> 00:07:02,552 I will call Dr. Ludmilla Kropotkin. 129 00:07:03,193 --> 00:07:06,390 - She will take care of you. - The evil lady torturer? 130 00:07:07,664 --> 00:07:08,926 Bring her in here! 131 00:07:08,999 --> 00:07:12,833 Even perhaps you are not brave enough for taste of her medicine. 132 00:07:13,103 --> 00:07:14,468 I'm not ticklish. 133 00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,502 Get the rubber sheets. 134 00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:21,172 And watch that man. 135 00:07:21,245 --> 00:07:22,507 Yes, boss. 136 00:09:00,610 --> 00:09:02,771 How come you not sniff on his turn? 137 00:09:03,113 --> 00:09:05,274 Boris' Old Spice is lingering. 138 00:09:05,649 --> 00:09:08,675 Do you think we could open up the window a little bit? 139 00:09:11,621 --> 00:09:12,952 Hey, vodka... 140 00:09:14,024 --> 00:09:15,150 ...be a guy. 141 00:09:15,325 --> 00:09:16,849 See that nasal spray? 142 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:20,123 Could you pass me over a couple of snoots worth, please? 143 00:09:25,302 --> 00:09:26,633 Is poison maybe. 144 00:09:26,770 --> 00:09:29,204 Good. Give him. Maybe we'll finish game. 145 00:09:36,046 --> 00:09:38,207 I'm going to need one on each side. 146 00:09:40,517 --> 00:09:42,382 Tilt. Little tilt. 147 00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:51,322 Deeper. 148 00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,989 Oh, yeah, stop. Stop. 149 00:09:55,165 --> 00:09:57,725 Stop. Can you back it out a little? 150 00:10:01,405 --> 00:10:03,669 - No, don't do that. Stop. - It's stuck. 151 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,866 Don't push it in. Stop it. Don't push it in. Wait. 152 00:10:09,846 --> 00:10:11,404 Now it's too far in. 153 00:10:12,182 --> 00:10:13,444 You squeeze it. 154 00:10:13,517 --> 00:10:15,007 Wait, wait. 155 00:10:15,352 --> 00:10:16,683 Squeeze it. 156 00:10:24,761 --> 00:10:26,388 That's much better. 157 00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:31,960 Fabulous. Fabulous. 158 00:10:33,870 --> 00:10:35,428 You're clumsy. 159 00:10:35,872 --> 00:10:37,635 What're you doing? Don't joke. 160 00:10:37,707 --> 00:10:39,299 Great, great spill. 161 00:10:39,776 --> 00:10:41,209 I still need my stuff though. 162 00:10:41,278 --> 00:10:42,836 You stay, I'll get it. 163 00:10:47,617 --> 00:10:48,743 Come on. 164 00:10:48,852 --> 00:10:50,444 Now really. 165 00:10:50,620 --> 00:10:55,182 I know you do this every night and it can get boring, but you gotta give 100 percent. 166 00:10:55,325 --> 00:10:57,816 Now I've got to figure out how to escape. 167 00:10:59,229 --> 00:11:02,289 I'm going to show you what 100 percent looks like. 168 00:11:03,567 --> 00:11:05,000 I'm right there. 169 00:11:08,939 --> 00:11:10,497 Where's that big paw? 170 00:11:13,910 --> 00:11:17,471 Lori, am I good, or am I good? 171 00:11:18,315 --> 00:11:20,078 He's done it again. 172 00:11:21,485 --> 00:11:23,476 My God, you're good. 173 00:11:23,587 --> 00:11:24,815 Thank you. 174 00:11:25,922 --> 00:11:27,184 Gonna untie me? 175 00:11:28,525 --> 00:11:29,457 Sorry. 176 00:11:29,526 --> 00:11:31,255 Hurry, before they come back. 177 00:11:32,929 --> 00:11:34,328 Dr. Ludmilla... 178 00:11:34,898 --> 00:11:36,661 ...we're ready for you now. 179 00:11:48,545 --> 00:11:52,447 Why do you always go out the window? It's more dramatic, I guess. 180 00:11:52,616 --> 00:11:55,380 It's kind of a Starsky and Hutch thing, isn't it? 181 00:11:55,452 --> 00:11:57,283 Where's our special scarves? 182 00:12:00,690 --> 00:12:01,782 Stop joking. 183 00:12:01,858 --> 00:12:04,986 I risked my life. I waited for you. I didn't have to. 184 00:12:05,195 --> 00:12:06,662 Why did you tonight? 185 00:12:08,064 --> 00:12:09,793 Don't make me say it now. 186 00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:11,790 What about the money? 187 00:12:11,868 --> 00:12:14,234 We can't just rewrite the whole script. 188 00:12:14,471 --> 00:12:15,699 Can't we? 189 00:12:16,473 --> 00:12:18,373 Is the money so important? 190 00:12:19,676 --> 00:12:22,645 Without the money, what the heck we got going on? 191 00:12:22,879 --> 00:12:25,040 Less than I thought, obviously. 192 00:12:36,526 --> 00:12:37,584 Bye. 193 00:12:45,735 --> 00:12:48,966 Albert, if you don't say it, it won't work. What are you? 194 00:12:49,239 --> 00:12:50,604 I'm a very naughty boy. 195 00:12:50,674 --> 00:12:51,971 Good. 196 00:12:52,709 --> 00:12:53,698 What are you? 197 00:12:53,777 --> 00:12:55,574 I'm a very naughty boy. 198 00:12:57,347 --> 00:12:58,746 Don't mind me. 199 00:12:59,516 --> 00:13:02,747 If you hold it a bit lower down, you get more of a flick. 200 00:13:03,019 --> 00:13:04,247 Thank you. 201 00:13:08,024 --> 00:13:09,150 What are you? 202 00:13:09,225 --> 00:13:10,920 A very naughty boy. 203 00:13:12,228 --> 00:13:14,025 If Featherstone Finch... 204 00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:17,589 ...were to move 40 million of Feathers' assets to... 205 00:13:18,435 --> 00:13:19,595 ...Tonga... 206 00:13:24,708 --> 00:13:26,369 Get your hands up! 207 00:13:29,479 --> 00:13:31,947 Get your hands behind your back! 208 00:13:32,882 --> 00:13:34,474 Where's Mr. Ritchie? 209 00:13:35,719 --> 00:13:37,550 Where's Mr. Ritchie? 210 00:13:41,291 --> 00:13:42,815 Where's Mr. Ritchie? 211 00:13:43,059 --> 00:13:45,789 - Mr. Ritchie, he go for port. - Which port? 212 00:13:46,563 --> 00:13:48,758 Shut up, you! Which port? 213 00:13:48,999 --> 00:13:50,796 He go for port in his car. 214 00:13:52,102 --> 00:13:53,091 Control. 215 00:13:53,303 --> 00:13:56,966 Green 1. Suspect Ritchie heading for unspecified port. Over. 216 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:58,771 Control to Special Branch. 217 00:13:58,842 --> 00:14:02,835 I want an all-ports alert, effective immediately. Close all ports. 218 00:14:12,689 --> 00:14:13,883 Up high! 219 00:14:14,024 --> 00:14:17,323 I'm the only one standing on a ledge! Jimmy! 220 00:14:17,827 --> 00:14:19,954 - Oh, my God. - I'm stuck! 221 00:14:20,096 --> 00:14:22,621 - Don't move! - I won't! I can't! 222 00:14:22,732 --> 00:14:24,632 I'm coming, Wally. 223 00:14:33,009 --> 00:14:35,000 Come on, damn it. They're gone. 224 00:14:35,512 --> 00:14:36,342 Here. 225 00:14:36,413 --> 00:14:37,675 Come here. 226 00:14:43,620 --> 00:14:45,178 Hold me. Okay? 227 00:14:48,358 --> 00:14:50,121 We'll try from other side. 228 00:14:51,528 --> 00:14:52,517 Stop! 229 00:14:52,595 --> 00:14:54,722 - What happened? - He went out the window. 230 00:14:54,798 --> 00:14:56,231 You have beans! 231 00:14:56,299 --> 00:14:58,961 He jumped us. He's not human. 232 00:14:59,703 --> 00:15:01,534 Neither am I. 233 00:15:01,705 --> 00:15:02,865 Get him! 234 00:15:04,641 --> 00:15:07,132 A nasty, wicked boy. 235 00:15:09,145 --> 00:15:11,010 Jimmy. Jimmy. 236 00:15:13,216 --> 00:15:15,207 We get him from downstairs. 237 00:15:26,129 --> 00:15:27,528 Wally. 238 00:15:29,265 --> 00:15:30,755 Wally. 239 00:15:31,735 --> 00:15:32,724 Jimmy. 240 00:15:32,902 --> 00:15:34,130 Where are you? 241 00:15:35,672 --> 00:15:37,230 I'm here on the ledge. 242 00:15:37,407 --> 00:15:38,840 What's going on? 243 00:15:41,344 --> 00:15:45,678 My leading lady came out on the ledge, and I think I broke her heart. 244 00:15:46,416 --> 00:15:47,405 And... 245 00:15:47,517 --> 00:15:48,609 So I followed her. 246 00:15:48,685 --> 00:15:52,587 She came out here and she went down to this next room. 247 00:15:52,722 --> 00:15:55,190 There's a hallway. We can walk. 248 00:15:55,692 --> 00:15:57,125 Not very theatrical, though. 249 00:15:57,193 --> 00:15:59,127 I'm so sorry. This isn't theater. 250 00:15:59,195 --> 00:16:01,755 You don't get it. It's experimental. 251 00:16:01,865 --> 00:16:03,230 This is serious. 252 00:16:03,533 --> 00:16:05,228 It's very raw, very... 253 00:16:05,368 --> 00:16:08,895 No, no, no, no. It's real. It's so real. 254 00:16:09,539 --> 00:16:10,563 Freeze! 255 00:16:13,376 --> 00:16:15,139 Put your hands in the air! 256 00:16:16,446 --> 00:16:19,279 I'm glad you came. I think you're gonna like it. 257 00:16:32,195 --> 00:16:33,389 You missed! 258 00:16:36,032 --> 00:16:37,260 You missed again! 259 00:16:37,333 --> 00:16:39,130 Not by much, though! 260 00:16:41,037 --> 00:16:44,370 Cut! Hold it! Hold it. Time out. 261 00:16:46,376 --> 00:16:47,434 Time out! 262 00:16:47,644 --> 00:16:50,078 I got something in my eye, jag-off! 263 00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:51,841 Stop it! Oh, God! 264 00:16:52,448 --> 00:16:53,437 Guys! 265 00:16:53,516 --> 00:16:55,609 Let's not think of my safety! 266 00:17:00,857 --> 00:17:02,552 I'm flying! 267 00:17:12,735 --> 00:17:16,227 I guess I got the drop on Dr. Ludmilla Kropotkin. 268 00:17:18,107 --> 00:17:21,474 Get that thing away from that little boy's butt! Drop it! 269 00:17:23,847 --> 00:17:24,939 You all right, son? 270 00:17:25,014 --> 00:17:26,174 Yes, thanks. 271 00:17:26,583 --> 00:17:29,882 ...for him, hour after hour I just wait. Of course, he... 272 00:17:39,696 --> 00:17:43,530 I would like Lori's three million, please, or... 273 00:17:43,867 --> 00:17:46,461 ...Dr. Ludmilla Kropotkin will die. 274 00:17:47,036 --> 00:17:48,663 But I am Dr. Ludmilla Kropotkin. 275 00:17:48,738 --> 00:17:51,400 Keep back. He's dangerous. He might have bomb. 276 00:17:52,642 --> 00:17:53,973 Plan B, then. 277 00:17:55,044 --> 00:17:56,534 Lobby, please. 278 00:17:57,347 --> 00:17:59,679 I'll just get her letters for her, then. 279 00:18:02,218 --> 00:18:06,052 All right, even he cannot penetrate ballroom for letters. 280 00:18:06,956 --> 00:18:09,720 Help! I'm being abducted. You've got to... 281 00:18:09,893 --> 00:18:11,258 Oh, you're together. 282 00:18:11,327 --> 00:18:14,057 - He's the brother. - Good. Take him to bowels of hotel. 283 00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:15,825 I go after the brother. 284 00:18:18,735 --> 00:18:23,069 One false move and the doctor will get a taste of her own medicine. 285 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,067 Relax, we're actors. 286 00:18:28,478 --> 00:18:31,675 Oh, please, I'm not a doctor. I'm a manicurist. 287 00:18:31,848 --> 00:18:33,679 It's our anniversary. 288 00:18:35,685 --> 00:18:37,846 Yeah, I'd like to believe that... 289 00:18:38,721 --> 00:18:42,248 ...from one of the most dangerous women in the world. 290 00:18:42,692 --> 00:18:46,685 I suppose you were involved with that business in Helsinki with Ponsonby. 291 00:18:47,463 --> 00:18:49,727 Did you get your kicks, Doctor? 292 00:18:50,533 --> 00:18:52,592 We were just having a little fun. 293 00:18:53,269 --> 00:18:55,100 You had your fun. 294 00:18:55,538 --> 00:18:59,440 And he got his head sent home in a freezer bag. 295 00:19:05,548 --> 00:19:08,278 The key is really to listen... 296 00:19:08,551 --> 00:19:10,542 ...to feel it and then... 297 00:19:10,653 --> 00:19:12,883 ...respond as if it were really happening. 298 00:19:12,956 --> 00:19:14,947 You can do it. Break a leg. 299 00:19:16,025 --> 00:19:18,892 Help, please! She's a killer! 300 00:19:19,028 --> 00:19:20,620 - Please. - She's dead. 301 00:19:21,397 --> 00:19:22,489 What's wrong? 302 00:19:22,565 --> 00:19:24,055 It's our anniversary. 303 00:19:25,001 --> 00:19:27,196 - We are kidding. - We are only acting. 304 00:19:27,537 --> 00:19:29,562 - What? - Just acting. 305 00:19:30,506 --> 00:19:31,632 Wait. 306 00:19:34,143 --> 00:19:36,941 - You can't go without a security pass. - Russian Secret Service. 307 00:19:37,013 --> 00:19:39,004 I need to see your pass. 308 00:19:39,082 --> 00:19:40,174 Happy now? 309 00:20:15,084 --> 00:20:16,381 Excuse me! 310 00:20:16,452 --> 00:20:20,684 Excuse me! Hello, hello. No pass, no entry, I'm afraid. 311 00:20:20,923 --> 00:20:23,619 I'm looking for a tall American. 312 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:28,226 Aren't we all, dear. But we've got a show to put on, in case you didn't notice. 313 00:20:28,297 --> 00:20:29,628 Thank you. 314 00:20:29,966 --> 00:20:31,524 You can wait outside. 315 00:20:32,435 --> 00:20:35,529 Can we have all these swans together? Thank you. 316 00:20:35,772 --> 00:20:38,605 And you'd be Mr. Nikolai, I presume. 317 00:20:38,741 --> 00:20:41,403 Would you get into the rest of the costume? 318 00:20:41,878 --> 00:20:43,675 I'm not supposed to be in costume. 319 00:20:43,746 --> 00:20:46,476 - We are performing tonight, aren't we? - Yeah... 320 00:20:46,582 --> 00:20:50,575 Then get with it! You go before the public in two minutes. 321 00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:53,220 I'm not ready for that. My brother said I wouldn't have to... 322 00:20:53,289 --> 00:20:55,154 Spare me the prima donna act. 323 00:20:57,493 --> 00:20:59,393 It's really not the time. 324 00:20:59,729 --> 00:21:03,324 Nikolai's come in from the cold, everyone. On stage, please. 325 00:21:03,499 --> 00:21:07,162 We know you and your German friends are financing all operation. 326 00:21:07,236 --> 00:21:08,294 Your brother told us. 327 00:21:08,371 --> 00:21:12,171 I'm a banker. I'm mortgaged to the hilt. I can't finance anything. 328 00:21:12,241 --> 00:21:15,039 The longer you keep me here, the less I'm worth. 329 00:21:15,445 --> 00:21:18,608 Let's have a little fun with electricity, shall we? 330 00:21:22,485 --> 00:21:24,885 My lords, ladies and gentlemen... 331 00:21:24,987 --> 00:21:29,356 ...the Baltic dancers from Russia will perform a dance... 332 00:21:29,425 --> 00:21:34,419 ...symbolizing man's growth from infancy to adulthood. 333 00:22:31,521 --> 00:22:32,510 Good God! 334 00:22:46,936 --> 00:22:48,597 Where's Lori's letters? 335 00:23:59,342 --> 00:24:00,673 May I? 336 00:24:21,964 --> 00:24:24,524 Lori wants her letters back. 337 00:24:28,871 --> 00:24:30,395 Boris, come quickly. 338 00:24:30,606 --> 00:24:34,872 Okay, I bring dart gun. Then it's curtains for Spenser. 339 00:25:38,774 --> 00:25:41,106 Spineless little shit. 340 00:25:42,611 --> 00:25:44,272 I'm very late. 341 00:25:44,447 --> 00:25:48,349 I lost my ticket, but I'm a close friend of the minister of defense. 342 00:25:48,451 --> 00:25:50,851 And my mom knows the queen of Sheba. 343 00:26:02,465 --> 00:26:06,526 Maybe we should get out while we can. Perhaps he could bring money. 344 00:26:06,602 --> 00:26:09,628 Here, get Rasputin's money now. 345 00:26:45,341 --> 00:26:47,639 How can we tell which doll is which? 346 00:26:47,710 --> 00:26:49,337 Only he can. 347 00:26:49,512 --> 00:26:51,036 It's his plan. 348 00:26:53,582 --> 00:26:55,140 He's open! 349 00:26:56,018 --> 00:26:57,576 Let's get out of here. 350 00:27:04,994 --> 00:27:06,757 Where're you guys going? 351 00:27:08,264 --> 00:27:10,425 Here comes Hawkins with your money, now. 352 00:27:10,499 --> 00:27:13,935 Great. I wish my brother could be here. He's missing everything. 353 00:27:14,003 --> 00:27:15,527 Here's the stuff. 354 00:27:15,771 --> 00:27:18,535 You idiot, go and get the brother, now! 355 00:27:19,809 --> 00:27:23,609 Please don't go anywhere. I want to talk to you both after the show. 356 00:27:33,289 --> 00:27:35,154 Oh, my God. 357 00:27:52,308 --> 00:27:54,299 Stop! Don't torture him... 358 00:27:54,477 --> 00:27:56,206 ...or his brother will kill us all! 359 00:29:14,390 --> 00:29:15,755 The man is a god. 360 00:29:21,897 --> 00:29:24,058 I finish this man to man. 361 00:29:34,209 --> 00:29:36,200 He has disabled bomb. 362 00:29:43,185 --> 00:29:45,119 Hold it right there, you two. 363 00:29:45,187 --> 00:29:47,178 What did you think of the show? 364 00:29:47,256 --> 00:29:50,089 Here's the cash. You can count it all now. 365 00:29:50,259 --> 00:29:51,658 Thank you very much. 366 00:29:51,727 --> 00:29:53,490 Two bags' worth. 367 00:29:57,232 --> 00:29:59,928 Where's Lori? Do you know if she saw the show? 368 00:30:00,502 --> 00:30:02,060 I got her money. She'll like it. 369 00:30:02,137 --> 00:30:05,265 - Love the hat. - Thank you. Thank you very much. 370 00:30:05,708 --> 00:30:08,905 Can you keep a secret? I'm taking this souvenir of my day. 371 00:30:09,044 --> 00:30:10,841 This has been a total hoot. 372 00:30:11,647 --> 00:30:14,445 I'm afraid he's a little groggy, but he's fine. 373 00:30:14,516 --> 00:30:15,483 Wally. 374 00:30:15,551 --> 00:30:17,382 Welcome back, stranger. 375 00:30:17,620 --> 00:30:19,212 Here, take a load off. 376 00:30:19,421 --> 00:30:21,446 - Can I get you some tea? - Please. 377 00:30:21,624 --> 00:30:23,057 One lump or two? 378 00:30:23,192 --> 00:30:24,557 No lumps. 379 00:30:25,728 --> 00:30:27,457 What have you been doing? 380 00:30:27,529 --> 00:30:28,757 I was tortured. 381 00:30:28,831 --> 00:30:32,096 - Great. Did they make it fun? - What? 382 00:30:37,973 --> 00:30:39,770 You know what they're signing? 383 00:30:41,310 --> 00:30:44,473 The death knell of our dreams. 384 00:30:45,648 --> 00:30:47,548 We'll have to settle for half. 385 00:30:47,916 --> 00:30:48,974 Ready? 386 00:30:49,318 --> 00:30:50,649 Ready. 387 00:30:51,053 --> 00:30:52,645 Did you see what I did? 388 00:30:52,755 --> 00:30:56,156 In front of all these people, I had a solo. 389 00:30:56,225 --> 00:30:59,023 I had the entire crowd eating out of my hand. 390 00:30:59,161 --> 00:31:01,186 Is that what you were wearing? 391 00:31:01,296 --> 00:31:02,888 Maybe they made a tape. 392 00:31:03,666 --> 00:31:05,156 I'm so proud of you. 393 00:31:06,168 --> 00:31:08,500 I want to be just like you, Wally. 394 00:31:09,004 --> 00:31:12,269 When I was back in that room, I thought I was going to die. 395 00:31:12,841 --> 00:31:17,039 My life passed before my eyes and I realized I cared about the wrong things. 396 00:31:17,146 --> 00:31:21,310 I've cared about money and success and getting to the top. 397 00:31:21,383 --> 00:31:23,351 Prestige and... 398 00:31:24,186 --> 00:31:25,881 At the end of the day... 399 00:31:27,289 --> 00:31:29,382 There's a big guy standing behind you. 400 00:31:29,458 --> 00:31:30,789 Yeah, well... 401 00:31:30,959 --> 00:31:34,122 ...maybe you'll feel better if you could see this tape. 402 00:31:37,132 --> 00:31:39,032 Really behind me? 403 00:31:40,202 --> 00:31:41,294 You're everywhere. 404 00:31:41,370 --> 00:31:43,531 This one is for you... 405 00:31:43,639 --> 00:31:44,799 ...buddy. 406 00:31:45,474 --> 00:31:46,532 Bang. 407 00:31:47,943 --> 00:31:49,308 Is joke. 408 00:31:49,378 --> 00:31:50,436 Look. 409 00:31:50,512 --> 00:31:52,537 "From KGB to Boris... 410 00:31:52,715 --> 00:31:55,149 "...fastest gun in the east." 411 00:31:55,818 --> 00:31:58,378 But there can only be one fastest gun. 412 00:31:58,821 --> 00:32:00,220 And now, it's you. 413 00:32:00,656 --> 00:32:01,987 I salute you. 414 00:32:02,157 --> 00:32:07,060 Doreen and me, we go open butcher shop. But you will always be my brother. 415 00:32:21,009 --> 00:32:22,567 Oh, look! 416 00:32:30,085 --> 00:32:32,246 What? What's the matter? 417 00:32:33,088 --> 00:32:35,522 There's nothing in here but silly money. 418 00:32:35,758 --> 00:32:37,487 What were you looking for? 419 00:32:38,527 --> 00:32:40,518 I lost my souvenir doll. 420 00:32:43,165 --> 00:32:46,032 You really don't care about money at all, do you? 421 00:32:47,302 --> 00:32:48,860 It's not real. 422 00:32:49,204 --> 00:32:51,263 The doll was beautiful. 423 00:32:54,009 --> 00:32:55,806 How's this for a souvenir? 424 00:33:05,387 --> 00:33:08,584 Roger, you don't suppose maybe doll...? 425 00:33:08,690 --> 00:33:12,182 Don't be daft. This is the one he picked for himself. 426 00:33:14,129 --> 00:33:17,724 Terrible-looking thing. Her stomach looks like her ass. 427 00:33:17,866 --> 00:33:21,063 Is her ass, you idiot. Give it to me. 428 00:33:25,674 --> 00:33:26,606 There. 429 00:33:34,983 --> 00:33:37,076 That was like an explosion. 430 00:33:37,986 --> 00:33:39,419 Want to try again? 431 00:33:40,489 --> 00:33:42,150 Do you have insurance? 432 00:33:46,829 --> 00:33:48,888 Did you see this? We were right there. 433 00:33:48,964 --> 00:33:50,659 We could've been killed. 434 00:33:51,767 --> 00:33:53,667 It says this mystery guy... 435 00:33:53,769 --> 00:33:58,672 ...was equal parts "brilliant cunning and sheer testosterone." 436 00:33:59,141 --> 00:34:01,769 They were right about the second part. 437 00:34:02,678 --> 00:34:03,838 Time out. 438 00:34:11,453 --> 00:34:13,114 All right, drink man. 439 00:34:13,288 --> 00:34:14,687 Now. 440 00:34:24,833 --> 00:34:26,300 Compliments of the house. 441 00:34:26,368 --> 00:34:27,699 Oh, my gosh. 442 00:34:27,803 --> 00:34:29,600 You people are so nice. 443 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,305 Do you eat the flower? 444 00:34:42,384 --> 00:34:44,181 I'm sorry. In the nose, too. 445 00:34:44,253 --> 00:34:46,653 That's the worst. Here, get a towel. 446 00:34:49,892 --> 00:34:51,484 Did that make contact? 447 00:34:51,627 --> 00:34:52,992 Oh my gosh! 448 00:34:58,834 --> 00:35:00,324 Gesundheit myself. 449 00:35:00,402 --> 00:35:03,701 - You okay? - Yeah, just another Old Spice guy. 450 00:35:05,741 --> 00:35:08,073 Impressive performance, Mr. Spenser. 451 00:35:08,143 --> 00:35:10,475 Sorry about the test, but we did have to be sure. 452 00:35:10,545 --> 00:35:15,005 Only one candidate in a thousand even detects Amazonian arafrog toxin... 453 00:35:15,083 --> 00:35:17,142 ...much less incapacitates the messenger. 454 00:35:17,219 --> 00:35:19,744 And it's rare that we even approach a candidate... 455 00:35:19,821 --> 00:35:23,587 ...until we've auditioned him for 12 or 18 months, but the other night... 456 00:35:23,659 --> 00:35:26,355 We witnessed the birth of a superstar. 457 00:35:26,929 --> 00:35:28,920 We'd like you to join the team. 458 00:35:29,031 --> 00:35:31,591 You want me to be a part of The Company? 459 00:35:35,938 --> 00:35:39,669 I don't know what to say. This is all happening kind of fast. 460 00:35:39,775 --> 00:35:42,266 Just tell us your demands, please. 461 00:35:47,115 --> 00:35:48,377 What do I do? 462 00:35:49,217 --> 00:35:50,775 They think you're a superstar. 463 00:35:50,852 --> 00:35:53,218 I think they expect you to act like one. 464 00:35:57,693 --> 00:36:01,561 I would like fresh flowers in my room. Rare tropical flowers... 465 00:36:01,663 --> 00:36:03,062 ...that smell good. 466 00:36:03,131 --> 00:36:05,031 And ice in my dressing room... 467 00:36:05,100 --> 00:36:08,365 ...which should be a palace and so should Lori's be a palace. 468 00:36:08,437 --> 00:36:12,305 And I want a dressing room for my pet bloodhound, too. 469 00:36:12,574 --> 00:36:13,836 And a poodle. 470 00:36:13,909 --> 00:36:17,572 And Lori's poodle. They can bunk in together. 471 00:36:17,679 --> 00:36:21,206 But there better be fresh flowers in there! And ice! 472 00:36:21,583 --> 00:36:24,780 - Whatever. - Just so long as you produce the hits. 473 00:36:24,886 --> 00:36:26,046 I'll do six a week. 474 00:36:26,121 --> 00:36:27,088 Six? 475 00:36:27,422 --> 00:36:28,480 Five. 476 00:36:28,857 --> 00:36:30,290 No, not six. Five. 477 00:36:31,226 --> 00:36:33,421 But one of them will be for free. 478 00:36:33,495 --> 00:36:36,191 I want to do kids or old people one day a week. 479 00:36:38,934 --> 00:36:40,834 And I want a StairMaster. 480 00:36:40,902 --> 00:36:42,961 I want a JuiceMaster. 481 00:36:43,038 --> 00:36:45,734 I want a ThighMaster and I want a ButtMaster. 482 00:36:45,807 --> 00:36:48,173 If you can't give it to me, I'm going back to Des Moines. 483 00:36:50,512 --> 00:36:52,605 Just don't hurt the help. 484 00:36:53,015 --> 00:36:54,676 It's whatever you want. 485 00:36:55,450 --> 00:36:58,112 What I want is this guy. He's fantastic. I love working with him. 486 00:36:58,186 --> 00:37:01,178 I hope I've passed your audition. Thank you for asking. 487 00:37:01,289 --> 00:37:02,688 Let's get creative. 488 00:37:02,758 --> 00:37:05,784 I'm thinking for our opening season, Lori... 489 00:37:06,395 --> 00:37:07,794 ...as Juliet. 490 00:37:07,863 --> 00:37:09,524 Shakespeare in the Sand! 491 00:37:09,631 --> 00:37:12,896 You've got casting approval, okay? For your lead. 492 00:37:13,035 --> 00:37:15,526 Joan of Arc for our action people. 493 00:37:15,871 --> 00:37:17,634 I set you afire. 494 00:37:18,073 --> 00:37:19,768 You behead him, right? 495 00:37:19,841 --> 00:37:21,365 Experimental. 496 00:37:22,044 --> 00:37:23,068 "Cats." 497 00:37:23,178 --> 00:37:25,646 Wait a second! With people. 498 00:37:25,781 --> 00:37:28,375 People as cats. Let's workshop. 499 00:37:28,550 --> 00:37:29,915 You're both cats. 500 00:37:30,018 --> 00:37:33,044 You're my big cat. I've got a giant cat. Get down. 501 00:37:33,221 --> 00:37:35,587 Creative producer. Thank you. You're the dog. 502 00:37:35,657 --> 00:37:38,148 We've got a dog and a cat, but they hate each other. 503 00:37:38,226 --> 00:37:39,818 Chase, chase. 504 00:37:40,495 --> 00:37:41,519 Go, go! 505 00:37:41,596 --> 00:37:43,029 Cat, go, kitty, go! 506 00:37:43,098 --> 00:37:47,125 Lori and I are the husband and wife. We have this cat and this dog. 507 00:37:47,235 --> 00:37:50,500 We love each of them, but they hate each other. 508 00:37:51,173 --> 00:37:53,937 So you're the bad cat. The only thing we can do is... 509 00:37:54,009 --> 00:37:56,910 Cut it out! Bad kitty! Bad cat! 510 00:37:58,013 --> 00:38:00,914 Is this working? Are you liking it?