1 00:01:46,256 --> 00:01:47,553 The tank itself... 2 00:01:47,624 --> 00:01:49,751 ...was unusual in that it was vertical... 3 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,286 ...and looked like an old boiler. 4 00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:55,160 inside the tank the subject wore a heavy glass bubble... 5 00:01:55,231 --> 00:01:58,894 ...and you would have thought the whole contraption uncomfortable to say the least. 6 00:01:58,968 --> 00:02:00,435 it was, however, effective. 7 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:04,867 of the 23 students tested, only two found the experience unpleasant. 8 00:02:05,475 --> 00:02:07,466 Some even called it exhilarating. 9 00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,739 A number of students hallucinated. 10 00:02:10,580 --> 00:02:14,243 Dr. Jessup found the encephalographic evidence especially interesting. 11 00:02:14,450 --> 00:02:17,578 And one Saturday afternoon, in April 1967... 12 00:02:17,654 --> 00:02:20,350 ...he decided to try the experience for himself. 13 00:03:48,678 --> 00:03:51,169 Arthur. Hey, Arthur. 14 00:03:52,181 --> 00:03:53,443 Are you there? 15 00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:55,683 Can you hear me, Arthur? 16 00:03:57,854 --> 00:03:59,287 Arthur, answer me. 17 00:04:00,590 --> 00:04:03,457 Is that it? You want me to come in and get you out? 18 00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:09,391 i want to get a look at those EEG tracings. 19 00:05:00,249 --> 00:05:01,511 How do you feel? 20 00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:03,146 Not bad. 21 00:05:03,519 --> 00:05:05,510 I hallucinated like a son of a bitch. 22 00:05:06,022 --> 00:05:08,684 A variety of dream states, mystical states... 23 00:05:09,325 --> 00:05:11,520 ...a lot of religious allegory, mostly out of Revelation. 24 00:05:11,594 --> 00:05:13,755 You were in there close to five hours. 25 00:05:13,997 --> 00:05:15,021 It felt like an hour. 26 00:05:15,098 --> 00:05:16,759 I'd like to try that myself sometime. 27 00:05:16,833 --> 00:05:18,357 You should. You'll like it. 28 00:05:22,105 --> 00:05:23,834 Did we have any communication? 29 00:05:24,173 --> 00:05:26,801 Sure. I kept checking you out like you told me to. 30 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:28,874 How did I respond? 31 00:05:29,779 --> 00:05:32,270 Very orderly. At one point you were crying. 32 00:05:32,682 --> 00:05:33,910 You mean, actually crying? 33 00:05:33,983 --> 00:05:36,417 You were sobbing. There were tears on your face. 34 00:05:37,687 --> 00:05:39,814 When I asked you what was going on, you said you were... 35 00:05:39,889 --> 00:05:42,016 ...re-experiencing your father's death. 36 00:05:44,460 --> 00:05:45,620 Did you make notes? 37 00:05:46,029 --> 00:05:47,223 It's all there. 38 00:05:47,697 --> 00:05:52,100 I'd like to try this again next week. Do you think you could make it again next week? 39 00:05:52,502 --> 00:05:53,969 What are we looking for? 40 00:05:54,904 --> 00:05:57,429 I don't know, yet. 41 00:05:59,542 --> 00:06:02,375 There's really very little literature on this kind of research. 42 00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:05,437 There are some good people in the field: Tart, Ornstein and Deikman... 43 00:06:05,515 --> 00:06:08,746 ...but most of it is radical-hip stuff, drug-culture apologias. 44 00:06:09,318 --> 00:06:12,685 Obviously, the first thing to do is set up some sensible methodology... 45 00:06:12,755 --> 00:06:15,781 ...study these experiences under controlled laboratory conditions. 46 00:06:15,858 --> 00:06:18,190 It won't interfere with the work we're doing with Hobart. 47 00:06:18,261 --> 00:06:21,662 What are we getting into? Sensory deprivation? Isolation studies? 48 00:06:21,731 --> 00:06:24,165 I mean, where will we be going with the tank stuff? 49 00:06:24,233 --> 00:06:27,031 We're not writing up a grant. Strictly bootlegging, just for kicks. 50 00:06:27,103 --> 00:06:29,162 We've got the use of this tank. Let's play with it. 51 00:06:29,238 --> 00:06:31,138 Let's find out where it takes us. 52 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:35,103 It's fascinating stuff. I think we ought to get into it. 53 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:40,908 I didn't even know they had one of those isolation tanks at New York Hospital. 54 00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:42,951 Must be some guy in the Psychology Department... 55 00:06:43,019 --> 00:06:44,850 ...doing sensory deprivation studies. 56 00:06:45,922 --> 00:06:47,856 What's Jessup doing with it? 57 00:06:48,524 --> 00:06:52,426 You've got me. He's been taking students out of his classes and testing them. 58 00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,725 He's been doing this for three, four months. 59 00:06:55,231 --> 00:06:56,255 Did you know... 60 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,664 ...Jessup was into this kind of stuff? 61 00:06:58,734 --> 00:07:00,326 Not until you just told me. 62 00:07:00,937 --> 00:07:01,961 What do you want? 63 00:07:02,038 --> 00:07:04,097 How long are you going to let it ring? 64 00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:06,368 It's okay, I'll get it. 65 00:07:06,742 --> 00:07:08,334 He's the last guy in the world I figured... 66 00:07:08,411 --> 00:07:12,541 ...to be screwing around with anything as flaky as altered states of consciousness. 67 00:07:12,615 --> 00:07:15,778 Let's face it. Jessup is pretty flaky himself. 68 00:07:18,287 --> 00:07:19,413 That's him. 69 00:07:40,009 --> 00:07:43,103 Arthur says you're very shy. He wants me to draw you out. 70 00:07:43,813 --> 00:07:46,077 Draw me out? That doesn't sound like Arthur. 71 00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:49,985 Well, what he actually said was you were a high-handed, arrogant prick. 72 00:07:50,453 --> 00:07:52,114 A little nuts, but brilliant... 73 00:07:52,421 --> 00:07:55,720 ...and that if I ever got you talking, I would find you fascinating. 74 00:07:56,025 --> 00:07:57,720 That sounds more like Arthur. 75 00:07:57,793 --> 00:08:01,058 He says you're doing some work with him and Alan Hobart at Payne-Whitney. 76 00:08:01,130 --> 00:08:02,290 What sort of work? 77 00:08:03,266 --> 00:08:04,392 Toxic metabolite stuff. 78 00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:06,594 We're replicating Heath's and Friedhoff's strategies... 79 00:08:06,669 --> 00:08:09,331 ...trying to find maverick substances specific to schizophrenia. 80 00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:11,669 I think we're chasing our tails. What do you do? 81 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:14,437 I'm a physical anthropologist. I'm sweating out my dissertation. 82 00:08:14,510 --> 00:08:15,340 Where? 83 00:08:15,645 --> 00:08:16,577 Columbia. 84 00:08:16,646 --> 00:08:18,546 Holloway, and that bunch. 85 00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,572 You're kind of young for a Ph.D., aren't you? 86 00:08:21,651 --> 00:08:22,640 I'm 24. 87 00:08:23,019 --> 00:08:24,111 That's still pretty good. 88 00:08:24,187 --> 00:08:28,419 I didn't get my Ph.D. until I was 25. I'm supposed to be a whiz kid. 89 00:08:29,525 --> 00:08:30,992 I'm a whiz kid, too. 90 00:08:35,998 --> 00:08:39,434 Anthropology seems to attract good-Iooking women. 91 00:08:41,404 --> 00:08:46,068 So you don't think schizophrenia can be reduced to a single etiological agent? 92 00:08:47,009 --> 00:08:48,909 I'm not even sure it's a disease. 93 00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:52,145 You think madness is simply another state of consciousness? 94 00:08:52,215 --> 00:08:54,615 There's a body of evidence to support that. 95 00:08:56,485 --> 00:08:58,919 You don't like to talk about your work, do you? 96 00:08:58,988 --> 00:09:00,114 As a rule, no. 97 00:09:05,661 --> 00:09:09,597 I'm interested in interior experiences, especially the religious experience. 98 00:09:09,665 --> 00:09:11,963 The only reason I'm working with schizophrenics now... 99 00:09:12,034 --> 00:09:15,629 ...is the religious experience is so significant in schizophrenia. 100 00:09:16,405 --> 00:09:17,963 There's only so much you can do with animals. 101 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:19,098 I worked with monkeys... 102 00:09:19,175 --> 00:09:21,575 ...but they can't tell you what goes on in their consciousness. 103 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,544 You need human beings for that. 104 00:09:23,846 --> 00:09:27,407 You can't ablate human beings, nor stick electrodes in their skulls... 105 00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:29,815 ...so I have to use a trance-inducing technique... 106 00:09:29,885 --> 00:09:32,718 ...and the isolation tank seemed the least risky. 107 00:09:32,788 --> 00:09:36,554 And I'd like to go home with you tonight. Would that be all right with you? 108 00:09:37,426 --> 00:09:40,623 I've got a roommate. We'll be confined to the living-room couch. 109 00:09:42,031 --> 00:09:44,124 What's wrong with the living-room couch? 110 00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:46,164 You tend to slip off a lot. 111 00:09:47,536 --> 00:09:48,935 I'm sure we'll manage. 112 00:09:49,572 --> 00:09:50,834 I'm sure we will. 113 00:09:54,644 --> 00:09:57,340 So, whenever you want to go there, you let me know. 114 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:00,645 How about right now? 115 00:10:16,132 --> 00:10:17,929 What are you thinking about? 116 00:10:18,234 --> 00:10:19,223 God... 117 00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:22,868 ...Jesus, crucifixions. 118 00:10:26,575 --> 00:10:31,603 As a rule, do you usually think about Christ and crucifixions under sexual stress? 119 00:10:38,821 --> 00:10:41,312 When I was nine years old, I used to see visions... 120 00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:45,518 ...visions of saints and angels, even Christ himself. 121 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:50,832 Of course I don't do that anymore... 122 00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,296 ...not since I was 16. 123 00:10:58,507 --> 00:11:00,031 Were your parents religious? 124 00:11:01,010 --> 00:11:01,977 Anything but. 125 00:11:02,945 --> 00:11:06,745 My father was an aeronautical engineer. My mother, a clinical psychologist. 126 00:11:06,949 --> 00:11:08,075 What happened? 127 00:11:08,651 --> 00:11:12,678 I mean, how did a little kid who saw visions of Christ turn into a physiologist... 128 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:15,019 ...teaching at the Cornell Medical College? 129 00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:16,755 I stopped believing. 130 00:11:17,026 --> 00:11:18,050 It was very dramatic. 131 00:11:18,127 --> 00:11:22,257 My father died a protracted and painful death of cancer. 132 00:11:24,567 --> 00:11:27,092 I was 16 years old and very fond of my father. 133 00:11:27,169 --> 00:11:29,933 I used to race to the hospital every day after school... 134 00:11:31,073 --> 00:11:33,200 ...and sit in his room doing my homework. 135 00:11:33,642 --> 00:11:35,610 He was very heavily sedated. 136 00:11:36,078 --> 00:11:37,875 The last few weeks he was in coma. 137 00:11:41,917 --> 00:11:44,283 One day I thought I heard him say something. 138 00:11:45,588 --> 00:11:47,283 I got up and leaned over him... 139 00:11:47,857 --> 00:11:49,984 ...my ear an inch away from his lips. 140 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:52,991 "Did you say something, Pop?" 141 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,696 Then I heard the word he was desperately trying to say, a soft hiss of a word. 142 00:11:59,769 --> 00:12:01,100 He was saying... 143 00:12:04,673 --> 00:12:05,765 "...terrible..." 144 00:12:14,383 --> 00:12:15,441 "...terrible." 145 00:12:18,888 --> 00:12:21,948 So the end was terrible, even for the good people like my father. 146 00:12:22,024 --> 00:12:25,016 So the purpose of all our suffering was just more suffering. 147 00:12:28,464 --> 00:12:32,594 By dinner time, I had dispensed with God altogether. I never saw another vision. 148 00:12:37,072 --> 00:12:39,506 I haven't told anybody about this in 10 years. 149 00:12:42,745 --> 00:12:45,305 I'm telling you now because I want you to know... 150 00:12:45,548 --> 00:12:48,676 ...what sort of a nut you might be getting mixed up with. 151 00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,681 Arthur was right. 152 00:12:53,389 --> 00:12:55,254 You are a fascinating bastard. 153 00:15:27,142 --> 00:15:28,302 Well, it's settled. 154 00:15:28,377 --> 00:15:32,143 Metcalfe spoke to Spencer again this morning and it's definite. The job's mine. 155 00:15:32,214 --> 00:15:34,876 I'll be in Nairobi doing my post-doc work July and August... 156 00:15:34,950 --> 00:15:37,145 ...and in September, I'll be teaching at Harvard. 157 00:15:37,219 --> 00:15:38,277 Terrific. 158 00:15:39,788 --> 00:15:42,450 It looks like we'll both be teaching at Harvard in September. 159 00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:43,991 Looks that way. 160 00:15:46,128 --> 00:15:48,756 You can't get any tidier than that, can you? 161 00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:55,498 We're going to be together in Boston and I think we should get married. 162 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,673 You know, of course, I'm supposed to be at least a little bit nuts. 163 00:16:00,743 --> 00:16:01,903 A little bit? 164 00:16:01,977 --> 00:16:03,842 You're an unmitigated madman! 165 00:16:05,914 --> 00:16:10,010 You don't have to tell me how weird you are. I know how weird you are! 166 00:16:10,586 --> 00:16:12,281 I'm the girl in your bed the past two months. 167 00:16:12,354 --> 00:16:15,118 Even sex is a mystical experience for you. 168 00:16:15,858 --> 00:16:18,418 You carry on like a flagellant, which can be very nice... 169 00:16:18,494 --> 00:16:21,054 ...but I sometimes wonder if it's me that's being made love to. 170 00:16:21,130 --> 00:16:24,998 I feel like I'm being harpooned by some raging monk in the act of receiving God. 171 00:16:29,004 --> 00:16:34,670 And you are a Faust freak, Eddie. You'd sell your soul to find the great Truth. 172 00:16:35,344 --> 00:16:38,336 Well, human life doesn't have great truths. 173 00:16:38,847 --> 00:16:42,510 We're born in doubt. We spend our lives persuading ourselves we're alive. 174 00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:45,712 And one way we do that is we love each other, like I love you. 175 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,181 I can't imagine living without you. 176 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:50,782 So let's get married. 177 00:16:50,993 --> 00:16:53,359 If it turns out to be a disaster, it'll be a disaster. 178 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,329 We'll shake hands and say goodbye. 179 00:17:02,938 --> 00:17:04,565 He's giving her dimethyltryptamine. 180 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:08,599 It takes effect in about a minute and she'll trip out for about half an hour. 181 00:17:14,883 --> 00:17:16,544 Do you feel different now? 182 00:17:18,487 --> 00:17:19,613 Less anxious? 183 00:17:20,756 --> 00:17:21,688 Much less. 184 00:17:22,024 --> 00:17:23,924 Do you have any special feelings? 185 00:17:24,193 --> 00:17:25,285 I feel... 186 00:17:26,195 --> 00:17:28,891 ...like my heart is being touched by Christ. 187 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:48,077 There's a lot of religious delusion among acute schizophrenics. 188 00:17:48,450 --> 00:17:51,544 Some guys say schizophrenics are physically different from the rest of us. 189 00:17:51,620 --> 00:17:55,181 It's almost as if they were trying to change their physical selves to... 190 00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,918 ...adapt to their schizophrenic image of themselves. 191 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:09,228 All right, we'll get married, since it's that important to you. 192 00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,799 I'm not comfortable with women... 193 00:18:11,874 --> 00:18:15,742 ...and I'm not likely to find anyone half as remarkable as you again. 194 00:18:16,779 --> 00:18:19,111 I think I can make a reasonably good husband. 195 00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,480 I don't want to lose you, you see. 196 00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:30,154 I suppose that's the closest thing to a declaration of love I'll ever get out of you. 197 00:18:42,171 --> 00:18:43,968 Am I really that weird in bed? 198 00:18:44,573 --> 00:18:45,403 Sometimes. 199 00:18:47,843 --> 00:18:49,276 Shall I try to change? 200 00:18:49,912 --> 00:18:51,243 No, I kind of like it. 201 00:19:15,504 --> 00:19:18,064 -Daddy, I'm tired. -We'll give the little lady a ride! 202 00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:19,505 Hey, Mason, be careful. 203 00:19:21,109 --> 00:19:22,201 How you doin', Eddie? 204 00:19:22,277 --> 00:19:23,904 Hi, Mason. How about a beer? 205 00:19:29,785 --> 00:19:33,585 -lf I didn't see this, I wouldn't believe it! -You were supposed to come next week! 206 00:19:45,868 --> 00:19:49,304 Look at the family man! Oh, Eddie, you look so good! 207 00:19:49,371 --> 00:19:50,360 I don't believe it. 208 00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:52,600 Not again? When did this happen? 209 00:19:52,674 --> 00:19:54,198 Well, it's a long story. 210 00:19:54,877 --> 00:19:56,344 Have you found a place yet? 211 00:19:56,545 --> 00:19:59,105 We got a nice little place near Huntington Field. 212 00:19:59,815 --> 00:20:01,510 We moved to San Francisco seven years ago. 213 00:20:01,583 --> 00:20:03,414 Arthur is going to teach at Boston U. 214 00:20:03,585 --> 00:20:04,984 I can't believe it's been seven years. 215 00:20:05,053 --> 00:20:07,180 I hear you just got associate professor. 216 00:20:07,489 --> 00:20:09,013 You guys must be loaded! 217 00:20:09,558 --> 00:20:11,992 We've got a place in Maine you can use for the summer. 218 00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:14,551 I'm going to Africa again in June. Eddie will be in Mexico. 219 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:17,258 Do you know a guy named Eccheverria, University of Mexico? 220 00:20:17,332 --> 00:20:18,560 Says he worked with you. 221 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,033 Sure. A very bright young guy. 222 00:20:20,102 --> 00:20:22,866 He's here at the Botanical Museum. We'll all have to get together. 223 00:20:22,938 --> 00:20:25,338 I'm going back to Mexico with him in June. 224 00:20:25,407 --> 00:20:26,396 What's in Mexico? 225 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:29,774 Eccheverria's got this witch doctor down there, the Hinchi Indians. 226 00:20:30,078 --> 00:20:32,672 They're an isolated tribe in Central Mexico who still practice... 227 00:20:32,748 --> 00:20:36,411 ...the ancient Toltec rituals, sacred mushroom ceremonies, that kind of thing. 228 00:20:36,752 --> 00:20:39,186 Apparently they use some kind of hallucinatory drug... 229 00:20:39,254 --> 00:20:42,451 ...that is supposed to evoke a common experience in all users. 230 00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:46,620 Maggie has fallen asleep on the couch. Will you take care of her? 231 00:20:47,930 --> 00:20:50,364 Did you ever get into an isolation tank since New York? 232 00:20:50,432 --> 00:20:51,763 No. Did you? 233 00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:54,631 No, but I just found out there's one here at the Medical School. 234 00:20:54,703 --> 00:20:57,570 I didn't think anybody was doing those kind of studies anymore. 235 00:20:57,639 --> 00:20:59,630 We did some interesting stuff in that tank... 236 00:20:59,708 --> 00:21:02,233 ...in New York for the few months we played around with it. 237 00:21:02,311 --> 00:21:05,280 Maybe when I get back from Mexico we'll get into it again. 238 00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:06,541 Why not? 239 00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,154 A terrific housekeeper she's not. 240 00:21:19,394 --> 00:21:21,294 They're getting a divorce, you know. 241 00:21:21,797 --> 00:21:24,698 -I don't know if they're getting-- -What are you talking about? 242 00:21:24,766 --> 00:21:26,927 She and the kids are moving to Cambridge. 243 00:21:27,002 --> 00:21:28,401 That's why this place is such a mess. 244 00:21:28,470 --> 00:21:30,904 They're moving her stuff into storage tomorrow. 245 00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:37,011 Then she's going off to Africa for a year with the kids. 246 00:21:37,079 --> 00:21:38,842 And he's going to Mexico. 247 00:21:39,014 --> 00:21:42,472 When she comes back, she's going to live in Cambridge and he's staying here. 248 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,212 It's he who wants the divorce, not her. 249 00:21:44,286 --> 00:21:46,652 I'm surprised they stayed together this long. 250 00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:48,321 When did all this happen? 251 00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:50,324 She just told me five minutes ago. 252 00:21:50,659 --> 00:21:54,026 What about the letters she kept writing us about how happy they were? 253 00:21:54,096 --> 00:21:57,327 Don't ask me. She's still crazy about him. He's still crazy. 254 00:22:08,977 --> 00:22:11,502 Sylvia just told me you're getting a divorce. 255 00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:14,142 We're getting separated. 256 00:22:14,216 --> 00:22:17,242 We probably won't get around to the divorce until next year. 257 00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:20,415 I know it's none of my business, but why? 258 00:22:21,456 --> 00:22:23,947 You're married to a great woman who adores you. 259 00:22:24,026 --> 00:22:26,290 My God, if anybody has it made, you have. 260 00:22:27,262 --> 00:22:29,355 You're a respected and admired figure... 261 00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:32,628 ...a full professor on the faculty of the Harvard Medical School. 262 00:22:32,834 --> 00:22:37,294 For God's sake, is that how you imagine me? A respected and admired figure? 263 00:22:38,340 --> 00:22:39,967 A devoted father? A loving husband? 264 00:22:40,042 --> 00:22:43,808 Well, I've also published nearly two papers a year for the last seven years... 265 00:22:43,879 --> 00:22:46,473 ...and not a fundamental piece of work in the lot. 266 00:22:46,648 --> 00:22:50,550 I sit around the living rooms of other young married faculty members... 267 00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:54,248 ...talking infantile masturbation, who's sucking up to the head of the department... 268 00:22:54,322 --> 00:22:56,654 ...whose tenure is hanging by a thread. 269 00:22:57,893 --> 00:22:59,520 Emily is content to go on with this life. 270 00:22:59,661 --> 00:23:02,221 She insists she's in love with me, whatever that is. 271 00:23:02,564 --> 00:23:05,226 What she means is she prefers the senseless pain... 272 00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:06,858 ...we inflict on each other to the pain... 273 00:23:06,935 --> 00:23:09,301 ...we would otherwise inflict on ourselves... 274 00:23:10,138 --> 00:23:12,470 ...but I'm not afraid of that solitary pain. 275 00:23:14,109 --> 00:23:18,170 If I don't strip myself of all this clatter and clutter and ridiculous ritual... 276 00:23:18,580 --> 00:23:20,741 ...I shall go out of my fucking mind! 277 00:23:22,417 --> 00:23:24,044 Does that answer your question, Arthur? 278 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:25,518 What question was that? 279 00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:27,519 You asked me why I was getting divorced. 280 00:23:27,589 --> 00:23:29,318 Listen, it's your life. 281 00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:31,156 I'm sorry I even asked. 282 00:23:33,595 --> 00:23:37,156 Why don't I call Eccheverria and we'll all go out and have some dinner? 283 00:23:39,634 --> 00:23:42,660 As a matter of fact, Eduardo, my year in India was disappointing. 284 00:23:42,737 --> 00:23:44,204 No matter how you slice it... 285 00:23:44,272 --> 00:23:46,866 ...yoga's a state-specific technology operating in the service of... 286 00:23:46,942 --> 00:23:48,341 ...an a piori belief system.... 287 00:23:48,410 --> 00:23:52,403 We scientists have a moral obligation to the public as well as to our own research. 288 00:23:52,747 --> 00:23:54,009 It just never occurred to baboons... 289 00:23:54,082 --> 00:23:57,848 ...that they could shorten that time to five minutes if they used a stick. 290 00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:03,181 Originally, man was just another savanna-living primate like the baboon. 291 00:24:03,291 --> 00:24:08,194 What dignifies the yogic practices is the belief system itself is not truly religious. 292 00:24:10,098 --> 00:24:11,963 There is no Buddhist god, per se. 293 00:24:12,033 --> 00:24:16,800 It is the Self, the individual Mind, that contains immortality and ultimate Truth. 294 00:24:17,105 --> 00:24:18,800 What is not religious about that? 295 00:24:18,874 --> 00:24:21,104 You've simply replaced God with the original Self. 296 00:24:21,176 --> 00:24:22,370 Yes, but we've localized it. 297 00:24:22,444 --> 00:24:24,503 Now I know where the Self is. It's in our own minds. 298 00:24:24,579 --> 00:24:27,912 It's a form of human energy. Our atoms are six billion years old. 299 00:24:27,983 --> 00:24:31,475 We've got six billion years of memory in our minds. 300 00:24:31,953 --> 00:24:34,615 Memory is energy! It doesn't disappear! It's still in there! 301 00:24:34,689 --> 00:24:37,556 There's a physiological pathway to our earlier consciousnesses. 302 00:24:37,626 --> 00:24:40,652 There has to be. It's in the goddamned limbic system. 303 00:24:40,729 --> 00:24:42,390 Jessup, you're a whacko! 304 00:24:42,664 --> 00:24:45,599 What's whacko about it? I'm a man in search of his true Self. 305 00:24:45,667 --> 00:24:47,999 How archetypically American can you get? 306 00:24:48,703 --> 00:24:50,762 Everybody's looking for their true selves. 307 00:24:50,839 --> 00:24:53,330 We're all trying to fulfill ourselves... 308 00:24:53,842 --> 00:24:56,310 ...understand ourselves, get in touch with ourselves... 309 00:24:56,378 --> 00:25:00,678 ...face the reality of ourselves, explore ourselves, expand ourselves. 310 00:25:00,949 --> 00:25:02,473 Ever since we dispensed with God... 311 00:25:02,551 --> 00:25:06,681 ...we've got nothing but ourselves to explain this meaningless horror of life. 312 00:25:06,855 --> 00:25:07,981 You're whacko. 313 00:25:10,225 --> 00:25:12,420 Well, I think that the true Self... 314 00:25:13,128 --> 00:25:17,724 ...that original Self, that first Self, is a real, mensurate, quantifiable thing... 315 00:25:18,066 --> 00:25:20,830 ...tangible and incarnate... 316 00:25:22,070 --> 00:25:24,038 ...and I'm going to find the fucker. 317 00:25:48,396 --> 00:25:50,296 What are their chemical properties? 318 00:25:52,133 --> 00:25:53,122 Are they safe? 319 00:25:53,201 --> 00:25:56,762 The mushrooms are almost certainly amanita muscaria... 320 00:25:57,172 --> 00:26:00,699 ...a very powerful psychedelic and a little dangerous. 321 00:26:01,376 --> 00:26:04,573 It contains belladonna, alkaloids... 322 00:26:04,946 --> 00:26:07,005 ...atropine, scopolamine. 323 00:26:07,749 --> 00:26:10,582 The sinicuiche plant is highly regarded... 324 00:26:11,620 --> 00:26:13,485 ...among a number of Indian tribes. 325 00:26:13,555 --> 00:26:15,580 I've seen it as far north as Chihuahua. 326 00:26:15,724 --> 00:26:18,591 The Indians say it evokes old memories... 327 00:26:19,527 --> 00:26:21,154 ...event ancient ones... 328 00:26:22,097 --> 00:26:25,260 ...and the Hinchis call it The First Flower. 329 00:26:27,168 --> 00:26:29,227 The first in the sense of primordial? 330 00:26:29,371 --> 00:26:30,497 Yes. 331 00:26:30,839 --> 00:26:32,807 In the sense of the most ancient. 332 00:26:33,808 --> 00:26:35,139 I'd like to try it. 333 00:26:37,045 --> 00:26:39,707 Do you think they would let me join in their ritual? 334 00:26:40,915 --> 00:26:43,179 Well, they seem like agreeable people. 335 00:26:56,665 --> 00:27:00,226 Est todo bien para ti participar en la ceremonia. 336 00:27:01,703 --> 00:27:04,968 He says it's all right for you to participate in their ceremony. 337 00:27:05,273 --> 00:27:07,798 Ask him what kind of an experience I can expect. 338 00:27:08,677 --> 00:27:10,542 Are they gathering these mushrooms for the ritual? 339 00:27:10,612 --> 00:27:12,807 No, they're being harvested for next year. 340 00:27:18,386 --> 00:27:20,911 Qu� clase de experiencia puede esperar mi amigo? 341 00:27:21,656 --> 00:27:24,216 Su alma regresar a su primera alma. 342 00:27:24,893 --> 00:27:27,157 Your soul will return to the First Soul. 343 00:27:28,563 --> 00:27:30,554 Ask him what this First Soul will look like. 344 00:27:30,632 --> 00:27:32,429 ?C�mo es la primera alma? 345 00:27:33,201 --> 00:27:35,169 Es la ateria increada. 346 00:27:36,771 --> 00:27:38,204 It is Unborn Stuff. 347 00:27:41,209 --> 00:27:43,734 Entonces, usted se lanzar� en el vacio.... 348 00:27:44,646 --> 00:27:47,137 Then you will propel into the void. 349 00:27:47,916 --> 00:27:49,349 Usted ver� una mancha. 350 00:27:49,818 --> 00:27:51,308 You will see a spot. 351 00:27:52,253 --> 00:27:54,551 La mancha se convertir�en una grieta. 352 00:27:55,423 --> 00:27:57,220 The spot will become a crack. 353 00:27:58,126 --> 00:28:00,219 Esta es la Grieta Entre la Nada... 354 00:28:00,295 --> 00:28:02,729 This is the Crack Between the Nothing... 355 00:28:03,865 --> 00:28:06,265 De esta Nada saldr su Alma increada. 356 00:28:06,534 --> 00:28:09,628 ...and out of this Nothing will come your Unborn Soul. 357 00:29:23,678 --> 00:29:26,203 Digale que extienda la palma de la mano. 358 00:29:27,182 --> 00:29:30,743 He wants you to hold the root. Put out your hand with your palm up. 359 00:30:41,189 --> 00:30:42,486 Are you all right? 360 00:37:00,067 --> 00:37:02,331 We only have their word I killed a lizard. 361 00:37:02,770 --> 00:37:05,364 You didn't see it and I have no recollection of it! 362 00:37:05,740 --> 00:37:07,731 This whole hideous business is just a joke... 363 00:37:07,808 --> 00:37:10,868 ...the Indians have played on me to make the gringo look like a fool! 364 00:37:10,945 --> 00:37:13,880 Look, you asked me what happened and I told you! 365 00:37:14,548 --> 00:37:16,812 You drank the mixture and you went outside. 366 00:37:17,184 --> 00:37:19,846 After a while there was a scream and some dogs were barking. 367 00:37:19,921 --> 00:37:21,411 I shouted after you. 368 00:37:21,622 --> 00:37:24,216 The screaming stopped. The brujo yelled at me to come back. 369 00:37:24,292 --> 00:37:25,316 Oh, bullshit! 370 00:37:26,327 --> 00:37:29,922 Then why did you ask the brujo to give you the mixture to take back to Boston? 371 00:37:29,997 --> 00:37:33,023 I thought I'd like Arthur to analyze, maybe synthesize, it. 372 00:37:36,137 --> 00:37:37,661 The noise is stupefying. 373 00:37:59,927 --> 00:38:01,986 The sun became black... 374 00:38:02,964 --> 00:38:04,124 ...as sack cloth. 375 00:38:09,236 --> 00:38:12,364 The full moon became like blood. 376 00:38:14,809 --> 00:38:17,369 Then a great mountain burning with fire... 377 00:38:21,182 --> 00:38:22,979 ...was thrown into the sea. 378 00:38:29,523 --> 00:38:33,254 Then the beast ascends from the bottomless pit. 379 00:38:33,928 --> 00:38:37,659 The angel of the bottomless pit. His name is... 380 00:38:45,072 --> 00:38:46,164 ...Abaddon. 381 00:38:47,575 --> 00:38:48,667 He's off the wall! 382 00:38:48,843 --> 00:38:49,832 Are you okay? 383 00:38:49,910 --> 00:38:51,935 Get this stuff! It's new! 384 00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:54,946 It's deafening! The noise is deafening! 385 00:38:56,217 --> 00:38:58,048 Can you hear me above this noise? 386 00:39:00,321 --> 00:39:01,686 The most unbelievable thing I've seen! 387 00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:03,621 I'm watching the birth agony of a mountain! 388 00:39:06,260 --> 00:39:07,386 Oh, my God. 389 00:39:07,495 --> 00:39:08,826 Are you okay? 390 00:39:10,331 --> 00:39:13,528 I'm fine. Really, I'm fine. 391 00:39:13,768 --> 00:39:15,702 Do you want me to bring you down now? 392 00:39:19,240 --> 00:39:20,229 What happens now? 393 00:39:20,307 --> 00:39:23,538 He's blacked out. These blackouts can get pretty freaky. 394 00:39:23,611 --> 00:39:25,545 Sometimes they last as long as four hours. 395 00:39:25,613 --> 00:39:29,174 When he comes out of it, he's as chipper as a bird, but he doesn't remember a thing. 396 00:39:29,250 --> 00:39:32,242 Just how dangerous is this stuff he brought back from Mexico? 397 00:39:32,319 --> 00:39:34,310 I didn't say dangerous, just said it was weird. 398 00:39:34,388 --> 00:39:35,480 It hangs around too long... 399 00:39:35,556 --> 00:39:38,684 ...and what's really screwy is it heads straight for the brain. 400 00:39:39,293 --> 00:39:40,851 Well, I don't believe this. 401 00:39:41,729 --> 00:39:45,062 You guys are shooting up with an untested drug that stacks up in the brain... 402 00:39:45,132 --> 00:39:48,226 ...and works in the nucleus of the cell and you don't call that dangerous? 403 00:39:48,302 --> 00:39:51,294 For the record, we don't actually shoot up. 404 00:39:51,739 --> 00:39:54,003 -Eddie drinks a 10-milligram.... -It will stop now! 405 00:39:54,075 --> 00:39:56,236 You guys are supposed to be reputable scientists... 406 00:39:56,310 --> 00:39:59,507 ...not two kids in the dorm freaking out on Mexican mushrooms! 407 00:40:00,981 --> 00:40:03,882 Why do you think I called you for? Let's see you stop him. 408 00:40:11,025 --> 00:40:12,583 This ain't LSD, goddamnit! 409 00:40:12,693 --> 00:40:15,253 This is no serotonin antagonist you're drinking! 410 00:40:15,663 --> 00:40:18,427 How many grams of that stuff you think you've got in you? 411 00:40:18,499 --> 00:40:20,023 Two? Three? 412 00:40:20,768 --> 00:40:23,293 You could be working up one hell of a case of cancer... 413 00:40:23,370 --> 00:40:25,133 ...with all the antimetabolites in you. 414 00:40:25,206 --> 00:40:28,801 The Hinchis have been drinking that stuff for centuries with no incidence of cancer. 415 00:40:28,876 --> 00:40:30,207 Fuck the Hinchi Indians! 416 00:40:30,277 --> 00:40:32,142 You don't know anything about those mushrooms! 417 00:40:32,213 --> 00:40:33,976 They seem to have fantastic staying powers! 418 00:40:34,048 --> 00:40:35,948 We've shot up at least 30 rats with that stuff. 419 00:40:36,016 --> 00:40:37,950 Some of them have a whopping load in them... 420 00:40:38,018 --> 00:40:40,486 ...and none of them have been noticeably affected. 421 00:40:40,621 --> 00:40:43,146 Where are we going? We were going to get something to eat. 422 00:40:43,224 --> 00:40:44,657 Eddie wants to show me an isolation tank. 423 00:40:44,725 --> 00:40:48,456 Isolation tank! You guys get flakier every time I talk to you! 424 00:40:48,629 --> 00:40:51,427 I thought all that isolation tank stuff went out in the '60s... 425 00:40:51,499 --> 00:40:53,626 ...with Timothy Leary and all them other gurus! 426 00:40:53,701 --> 00:40:56,727 Will you shut up for a minute and let somebody else say something? 427 00:40:56,804 --> 00:40:58,601 What happens during these blackout periods is... 428 00:40:58,672 --> 00:41:00,731 ...you get the feeling of phenomenal acceleration... 429 00:41:00,808 --> 00:41:03,936 ...like you're being shot out over millions, billions of years. 430 00:41:04,011 --> 00:41:05,603 Time simply obliterates. 431 00:41:06,013 --> 00:41:08,846 You sense the hallucination is going on, but you get no images. 432 00:41:08,916 --> 00:41:10,713 I want to break through that blackout barrier. 433 00:41:10,784 --> 00:41:14,618 I want to know what those images are that I know are going on but I can't see. 434 00:41:14,688 --> 00:41:18,124 We can't raise the dosage of the drug because we're close to toxic levels now. 435 00:41:18,192 --> 00:41:20,524 The only way to intensify the experience is... 436 00:41:20,594 --> 00:41:22,528 ...to take the 200 milligrams along with the tank. 437 00:41:22,596 --> 00:41:25,326 There's more I'd like to do to that drug before you take it again. 438 00:41:25,399 --> 00:41:26,866 I'd like to do a half-life determination. 439 00:41:26,934 --> 00:41:28,697 -That would take us a year! -I'd like to know the transport system. 440 00:41:28,769 --> 00:41:30,361 I'd like to find some analogues. 441 00:41:30,437 --> 00:41:33,065 This Mexican stuff is an extraordinary substance... 442 00:41:33,140 --> 00:41:36,337 ...and every instinct I have tells me I'm onto something hot here... 443 00:41:36,410 --> 00:41:39,402 ...and another 200 milligrams isn't going to kill anybody. 444 00:41:41,682 --> 00:41:42,808 There it is. 445 00:41:46,787 --> 00:41:47,981 Oh, it's horizontal. 446 00:41:50,057 --> 00:41:52,287 It's smaller than the one we had in New York. 447 00:41:53,661 --> 00:41:55,458 If they're doing sleep studies, it must be.... 448 00:41:55,529 --> 00:41:59,124 I don't think anybody's used it in years, but I checked it out yesterday and it works. 449 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:00,633 It won't take a week to get this place cleaned. 450 00:42:00,701 --> 00:42:01,668 You could get your ass in a sling... 451 00:42:01,735 --> 00:42:04,465 ...if it ever gets out you're using an untested drug on human subjects. 452 00:42:04,538 --> 00:42:06,631 Don't worry. Nothing's going to happen to me. 453 00:42:06,807 --> 00:42:07,865 Let's get a quick hamburger. 454 00:42:07,942 --> 00:42:09,341 I'm seeing one of my students tonight. 455 00:42:09,410 --> 00:42:10,342 All right! 456 00:42:11,645 --> 00:42:15,081 Do what you want to do. I think you're both irresponsible as hell! 457 00:42:15,449 --> 00:42:19,317 Don't call me and tell me you're worried about Eddie putting all this shit into him! 458 00:42:19,386 --> 00:42:22,446 I'm telling you, don't you put any more of that shit into him... 459 00:42:22,523 --> 00:42:24,616 ...until you know a hell of a lot more about it! 460 00:42:24,692 --> 00:42:27,718 I've offered you the use of my lab and all the rats you can cut! 461 00:42:27,795 --> 00:42:30,628 That's as much as I want to be implicated in your dumb experiments! 462 00:42:30,698 --> 00:42:31,824 Go get your own dumb hamburger. 463 00:42:31,899 --> 00:42:34,663 I've already got my own date I'm an hour late for! 464 00:42:46,780 --> 00:42:49,772 I already did these first three. You do the rest. 465 00:43:00,527 --> 00:43:02,154 Couldn't resist, right? 466 00:43:02,263 --> 00:43:05,232 Well, somebody's got to keep his eye on you two sorcerers. 467 00:43:06,367 --> 00:43:08,460 What have you got in there, some kind of salt solution? 468 00:43:08,535 --> 00:43:11,902 Ten percent magnesium sulfate, for buoyancy. 469 00:43:14,842 --> 00:43:15,968 Weird, man. 470 00:43:24,184 --> 00:43:25,617 One, two, three, four. 471 00:43:25,953 --> 00:43:27,113 one, two, three, four. 472 00:43:27,187 --> 00:43:28,347 Okay, you're fine. 473 00:43:29,456 --> 00:43:32,948 Wednesday, January 7th, 4:28 P. M. 474 00:43:34,495 --> 00:43:35,962 Hey, this is terrific! 475 00:43:38,699 --> 00:43:41,327 He went into theta like a shot. No spindling, nothing. 476 00:43:42,269 --> 00:43:43,964 Grasslands, savannas. 477 00:43:46,173 --> 00:43:47,606 i feel... 478 00:43:47,975 --> 00:43:50,773 ...i am actually alive and inside this landscape. 479 00:43:52,913 --> 00:43:54,972 A density of woodlands about a mile away. 480 00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:58,041 Beyond that, mountains that seem to be smoking. 481 00:43:58,152 --> 00:44:01,553 Newly born mountains, Cenozoic, latter Tertiary. 482 00:44:03,624 --> 00:44:05,251 i'm in an edge-area. 483 00:44:05,592 --> 00:44:07,958 Utter tranquility, but alive. 484 00:44:08,028 --> 00:44:10,553 Life in the trees. Life in the sedge. 485 00:44:11,498 --> 00:44:12,556 oh, my God... 486 00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:16,199 ...the birth of man. That's got to be it! 487 00:44:16,770 --> 00:44:19,136 y God! There it is... 488 00:44:20,841 --> 00:44:21,808 ...a proto-human. 489 00:44:21,875 --> 00:44:25,208 The first, and the original truly human form... 490 00:44:26,647 --> 00:44:29,775 ...tiny, perhaps 4 feet high, completely furred... 491 00:44:30,384 --> 00:44:32,249 ...chimp-like, but erect. 492 00:44:32,319 --> 00:44:33,911 No knuckle walking. Shorter arms. 493 00:44:33,987 --> 00:44:36,251 He's moving along so gracefully. 494 00:44:36,623 --> 00:44:38,557 There's two, three of them. 495 00:44:40,260 --> 00:44:43,991 Bipedal, tiny, little furred humanoid creatures... 496 00:44:44,064 --> 00:44:46,396 ...a chunk of lava in their hands... 497 00:44:48,068 --> 00:44:49,933 ...stalking or hunting something. 498 00:44:51,905 --> 00:44:53,497 For Christ's sake. 499 00:44:55,175 --> 00:44:56,335 Are you okay, Eddie? 500 00:44:56,410 --> 00:44:59,607 i'm becoming one of them. i'm no longer observing. 501 00:45:01,315 --> 00:45:02,475 i'm one of them. 502 00:45:06,954 --> 00:45:09,855 Killing something, a goat. 503 00:45:10,124 --> 00:45:11,489 i'm killing... 504 00:45:12,092 --> 00:45:13,252 ...i'm eating... 505 00:45:13,627 --> 00:45:17,028 ...i'm eating the blood, hot flesh of a goat. 506 00:45:23,604 --> 00:45:24,730 Are you okay? 507 00:45:25,939 --> 00:45:26,871 Beautiful. 508 00:45:28,442 --> 00:45:30,000 Do you want to come down? 509 00:45:44,491 --> 00:45:46,891 It sounded like he was having a bad trip to me. 510 00:45:46,994 --> 00:45:49,554 Some of these tank trips can get pretty creepy. 511 00:45:52,399 --> 00:45:53,889 What the hell was that? 512 00:45:58,005 --> 00:45:58,994 Are you okay? 513 00:45:59,973 --> 00:46:00,940 Beautiful. 514 00:46:01,542 --> 00:46:03,032 Do you want to stop this? 515 00:46:03,577 --> 00:46:06,478 -Do you want me to leave you alone? -Yeah. 516 00:46:23,564 --> 00:46:26,294 I thought you said these things don't last more than four hours. 517 00:46:26,366 --> 00:46:27,765 It's a quarter to nine. 518 00:46:28,001 --> 00:46:29,127 He's coming out. 519 00:46:31,472 --> 00:46:35,238 I don't like being out of contact for these long periods of time. 520 00:46:46,019 --> 00:46:47,008 I think he's in shock. 521 00:46:47,087 --> 00:46:49,783 He must have had a seizure, hit his head or something. 522 00:47:52,352 --> 00:47:54,149 What do you want blood tests for? 523 00:47:55,422 --> 00:47:56,480 What does he say? 524 00:47:56,557 --> 00:47:58,684 "Buccal smear, blood for a karyotype... 525 00:47:58,759 --> 00:48:00,920 "...also pictures for the Goodman and Sarich lab. 526 00:48:00,994 --> 00:48:03,554 "Picture of my neck. Now, before I... 527 00:48:04,231 --> 00:48:05,255 "...reconstitute." 528 00:48:05,332 --> 00:48:06,458 Before he what? 529 00:48:07,434 --> 00:48:08,867 Before he reconstitutes. 530 00:48:09,202 --> 00:48:12,729 Then take his damn blood, and maybe he'll let me have a look at him. 531 00:48:16,577 --> 00:48:18,943 Do you mind if I examine your neck for a minute? 532 00:48:20,514 --> 00:48:21,446 Any masses? 533 00:48:28,255 --> 00:48:29,415 Stop talking shit! 534 00:48:29,489 --> 00:48:31,980 Are you trying to say your dumb hallucination has externalized? 535 00:48:32,059 --> 00:48:33,287 What did he write? 536 00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:35,157 "Not common aphasia. 537 00:48:35,228 --> 00:48:38,755 "Time-space, fallout from the hallucination." 538 00:48:38,832 --> 00:48:40,925 You are a fucking flake, Jessup. 539 00:48:41,034 --> 00:48:42,797 Get dressed. I'm taking you to the Brigham... 540 00:48:42,869 --> 00:48:44,700 ...and do a complete workup on you. 541 00:48:47,007 --> 00:48:49,703 You are a very sick dude, you dumb son of a bitch. 542 00:48:49,776 --> 00:48:51,744 I'll look down your throat, do some skull films... 543 00:48:51,812 --> 00:48:54,838 ...get a CAT scan, maybe even an arteriogram, and I'd like... 544 00:48:54,915 --> 00:48:57,440 ...an unbiased eye to look at those EEG tracings. 545 00:48:58,919 --> 00:49:00,250 What does he say? 546 00:49:00,621 --> 00:49:01,383 "X-ray! " 547 00:49:02,155 --> 00:49:05,420 All right, finish up with him and let's get him over to X-ray. 548 00:49:05,826 --> 00:49:07,191 Be right back. 549 00:49:36,123 --> 00:49:37,818 is it possible it's purely mechanical? 550 00:49:37,891 --> 00:49:40,792 Well, if it isn't neurological, it's got to be mechanical. 551 00:49:41,194 --> 00:49:45,358 I'd like some plain films of this guy's neck. A PA, a lateral and oblique. 552 00:49:45,432 --> 00:49:46,797 I'm backed up to my ass! 553 00:49:46,867 --> 00:49:49,165 Just take the damn pictures! This is an emergency! 554 00:50:08,755 --> 00:50:10,154 Might be a TIA. 555 00:50:11,058 --> 00:50:13,288 I guess we'd better not tell Eddie he had... 556 00:50:13,860 --> 00:50:17,762 ...blood all over his face when he came out of the tank. He'll claim it was... 557 00:50:18,899 --> 00:50:21,766 ...goat's blood from that goat he was eating in his hallucination. 558 00:50:21,835 --> 00:50:24,303 You know, you're really getting as weird as he is! 559 00:50:24,371 --> 00:50:26,202 What do you think happened? 560 00:50:27,307 --> 00:50:30,299 He's not the type for hysterical conversion, so I'm thinking seizure. 561 00:50:30,377 --> 00:50:34,370 He came out of that tank in a fugue state and had blood all over his face. 562 00:50:34,448 --> 00:50:36,678 He must have had a seizure while in the tank... 563 00:50:36,750 --> 00:50:39,947 ...bit his lip while convulsing and is postictally aphasic. 564 00:50:40,020 --> 00:50:43,956 I thought maybe he had a vascular insult, a stroke, a flipped embolus... 565 00:50:45,092 --> 00:50:48,323 ...but neurologically he's intact, so I'm thinking seizure now. 566 00:51:00,774 --> 00:51:03,299 Now you just take it easy. 567 00:51:03,376 --> 00:51:05,901 None of us are so terrific at reading X-rays. 568 00:51:06,213 --> 00:51:07,373 What are you looking for? 569 00:51:07,447 --> 00:51:10,473 Just put these in an envelope. Who's reading tonight in Radiology? 570 00:51:10,550 --> 00:51:11,915 Dr. Wissenschaft. 571 00:51:14,688 --> 00:51:16,679 I want someone reliable to look at them. 572 00:51:16,757 --> 00:51:18,725 I'd rather not have everyone in the Brigham on this. 573 00:51:18,792 --> 00:51:21,192 It's bad enough we've got this nosy X-ray technician. 574 00:51:21,261 --> 00:51:22,421 Are you all right? 575 00:51:22,496 --> 00:51:25,465 I'm fine. I tried to indicate this was just a transient thing. 576 00:51:25,532 --> 00:51:27,932 A transient ischemic attack, that's all it was. 577 00:51:28,335 --> 00:51:31,202 -He's got his voice back. -It wasn't an ischemic attack! 578 00:51:31,404 --> 00:51:33,269 It wasn't a seizure. You saw the X-rays, Mason. 579 00:51:33,340 --> 00:51:36,605 There was something anterior to the larynx that looked like a laryngeal sac. 580 00:51:36,676 --> 00:51:39,236 That's strictly simian. I obviously regressed... 581 00:51:39,746 --> 00:51:42,180 ...to some quasi-simian creature. 582 00:51:47,788 --> 00:51:49,688 I'll show these to someone who can read them right. 583 00:51:49,756 --> 00:51:51,849 You're reading them wrong. That's all... 584 00:51:51,925 --> 00:51:53,051 ...because no one is going to tell me... 585 00:51:53,126 --> 00:51:55,959 ...you de-differentiated your goddamn genetic structure... 586 00:51:56,029 --> 00:51:58,520 ...for four goddamn hours and then reconstituted! 587 00:51:59,099 --> 00:52:01,863 I'm a professor of endocrinology at the Harvard Medical School! 588 00:52:01,935 --> 00:52:04,665 I'm an attending physician at the Peter Bent Brigham Hospital! 589 00:52:04,738 --> 00:52:06,035 I'm a contributing editor... 590 00:52:06,106 --> 00:52:08,040 ...to the American Journal of Endocrinology! 591 00:52:08,108 --> 00:52:12,169 And I'm a fellow and vice-president of the Eastern Association of Endocrinologists! 592 00:52:12,245 --> 00:52:14,213 And president of the Journal Club! 593 00:52:14,748 --> 00:52:16,375 And I'm not going to listen to any more of... 594 00:52:16,449 --> 00:52:21,250 ...your cabalistic, quantum, friggin', dumb, limbo mumbo jumbo! 595 00:52:21,655 --> 00:52:23,885 I'm going to show these to a radiologist! 596 00:52:35,535 --> 00:52:36,524 Do me a favor. 597 00:52:36,603 --> 00:52:39,037 Conclusion, bilateral aspiration pneumonia. 598 00:52:39,372 --> 00:52:42,830 -Do me a favor and take a look at these. -What's the story in this case? 599 00:52:43,410 --> 00:52:48,074 A 35-year-old white man, acute onset of aphasia, no history of trauma. 600 00:52:48,915 --> 00:52:50,212 What are you looking for? 601 00:52:50,283 --> 00:52:53,343 It looks to me like the architecture is somewhat abnormal. 602 00:52:56,056 --> 00:52:57,148 Somewhat? 603 00:52:58,558 --> 00:53:00,253 This guy is a fucking gorilla! 604 00:54:09,896 --> 00:54:11,420 Are you okay, Dr. Jessup? 605 00:54:11,598 --> 00:54:12,690 Yes. 606 00:55:43,023 --> 00:55:44,786 Are you all right, Dr. Jessup? 607 00:55:51,498 --> 00:55:52,556 I'm fine. 608 00:56:02,242 --> 00:56:03,971 I just want to make a few notes. 609 00:56:42,215 --> 00:56:44,115 My God, you look so marvelous! 610 00:56:45,318 --> 00:56:46,876 How have you been, Eddie? 611 00:56:47,087 --> 00:56:48,384 Just fine. You? 612 00:56:48,788 --> 00:56:49,812 Fine. 613 00:56:50,757 --> 00:56:51,815 Look, there's Daddy. 614 00:56:51,891 --> 00:56:54,223 Are you going to drive us to our new house? 615 00:56:54,928 --> 00:56:56,725 You bet. Depending how nice you are... 616 00:56:56,796 --> 00:56:59,264 ...maybe we'll take you to a Chinese restaurant. 617 00:57:01,334 --> 00:57:04,633 Don't let anybody tell you baboons aren't occasionally carnivorous. 618 00:57:05,004 --> 00:57:07,165 I observed instances of predation... 619 00:57:07,540 --> 00:57:10,304 ...which involved the unmistakable behavior of hunters. 620 00:57:10,376 --> 00:57:13,311 A pair of baboons killed the Thomson's gazelle and ate it. 621 00:57:13,379 --> 00:57:15,404 There was even a rudimentary communication... 622 00:57:15,482 --> 00:57:17,109 ...between the two baboons... 623 00:57:18,218 --> 00:57:19,446 ...so I've become... 624 00:57:19,519 --> 00:57:22,613 ...fascinated with the work being done on nonverbal communications with apes. 625 00:57:22,689 --> 00:57:25,954 I've been corresponding with the Gardners at the University of Nevada. 626 00:57:26,025 --> 00:57:29,153 i may just go out and spend a couple of weeks there this summer. 627 00:57:29,329 --> 00:57:32,025 I've got nothing else to do except write up my report. 628 00:57:32,098 --> 00:57:34,828 I don't suppose you recorded any of those baboon sounds? 629 00:57:35,702 --> 00:57:37,067 Of course I did. Why? 630 00:57:37,137 --> 00:57:38,900 I'd like very much to hear them. 631 00:57:39,205 --> 00:57:40,194 Of course. 632 00:57:41,441 --> 00:57:43,807 Mrs. Tally said she'll be here tomorrow morning at 10:30... 633 00:57:43,877 --> 00:57:45,742 ...to help you put everything away. 634 00:57:46,379 --> 00:57:49,610 She wanted to know if you wanted her to come back to work steady. 635 00:57:50,116 --> 00:57:51,845 i got a letter from ason about a week ago... 636 00:57:51,918 --> 00:57:53,783 ...just before we left Nairobi. 637 00:57:57,790 --> 00:58:00,623 He says you've been working with a very complex drug... 638 00:58:00,693 --> 00:58:02,684 ...which you brought back from Mexico. 639 00:58:03,296 --> 00:58:06,424 It hasn't been thoroughly tested yet and is dangerous as hell. 640 00:58:08,401 --> 00:58:10,096 What else did Mason write you? 641 00:58:10,970 --> 00:58:14,906 That over the past year you've taken about two grams of that drug yourself... 642 00:58:15,175 --> 00:58:19,271 ...and you had a very unusual instance of genetic regression about three months ago. 643 00:58:19,946 --> 00:58:22,278 You may have leukemia or lymphoma. 644 00:58:24,284 --> 00:58:26,844 He's been trying to get you to go for a complete workup... 645 00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:28,683 ...but you've refused to go. 646 00:58:29,189 --> 00:58:31,521 He's worried stiff that you're cracking up. 647 00:58:32,058 --> 00:58:34,322 He thinks you're behaving very strangely... 648 00:58:34,928 --> 00:58:38,056 ...and he begged me to talk to you about this when I got back. 649 00:58:38,431 --> 00:58:42,128 Mason is pathologically incapable of keeping his mouth shut about anything. 650 00:58:42,435 --> 00:58:45,404 -He's a stupid, starched, doctrinaire idiot! -Mason is a first-rate doctor! 651 00:58:45,471 --> 00:58:47,268 It's not leukemia! 652 00:58:49,943 --> 00:58:51,706 Or any other kind of cancer! 653 00:58:52,478 --> 00:58:55,743 I've let him do a liver-spleen scan on me and a CAT scan. 654 00:58:55,815 --> 00:58:57,908 I have been probed, scoped and palpated! 655 00:58:57,984 --> 00:59:01,181 He's had a mirror down my throat or up my ass for the last three months... 656 00:59:01,287 --> 00:59:04,279 ...and there is no evidence, no suggestion whatsoever of cancer! 657 00:59:04,357 --> 00:59:05,949 What else did Mason write you? 658 00:59:08,528 --> 00:59:10,621 Which of these has the baboon vocalizations on them? 659 00:59:10,697 --> 00:59:12,528 -I'd like to hear them. -Why? 660 00:59:12,599 --> 00:59:15,193 Did he write you that during the regression... 661 00:59:15,268 --> 00:59:17,293 ...I had an aphasic experience for about four hours? 662 00:59:17,370 --> 00:59:20,339 The only sounds I could get out were clicks and grunts. 663 00:59:20,406 --> 00:59:22,431 They sound like the baboon vocalizations on your tapes. 664 00:59:22,508 --> 00:59:24,976 Mason said you took blood tests and the lab report showed... 665 00:59:25,044 --> 00:59:27,569 ...some characteristics of simian blood group systems. 666 00:59:27,747 --> 00:59:29,374 They also picked up antigens specific to man. 667 00:59:29,449 --> 00:59:30,473 I'd like to see that data. 668 00:59:30,550 --> 00:59:34,452 The thing to do is for me to get back to that isolation tank and try it again! 669 00:59:34,520 --> 00:59:37,887 Let's see if it happens again! None of us really believes it happened. 670 00:59:37,957 --> 00:59:41,484 After three months, I'm beginning to wonder if it ever happened myself. 671 00:59:41,561 --> 00:59:44,553 They won't go back to the tank. Mason's taken over the project. 672 00:59:44,631 --> 00:59:47,395 He's got Arthur up in his lab every day fractionating rats' brains! 673 00:59:47,467 --> 00:59:51,233 What the hell am I supposed to do while they're fractionating rats' brains? 674 00:59:55,975 --> 00:59:58,102 Everybody thinks your father's going nuts. 675 00:59:58,177 --> 01:00:00,304 Mommy, when are we going to eat? 676 01:00:03,850 --> 01:00:05,215 Run along now and play with Grace. 677 01:00:05,285 --> 01:00:09,278 I am convinced that the regression was triggered by an act of consciousness. 678 01:00:09,355 --> 01:00:12,415 When I was in the tank, I entered another consciousness! 679 01:00:12,592 --> 01:00:15,425 I became another self, a more primitive self... 680 01:00:15,495 --> 01:00:17,588 ...and the drug, in some way... 681 01:00:18,431 --> 01:00:21,696 ...triggered the externalization of that other, more primitive self. 682 01:00:23,069 --> 01:00:24,627 At least look at my data! 683 01:00:24,704 --> 01:00:26,535 Of course. Would tomorrow afternoon be-- 684 01:00:26,606 --> 01:00:29,598 Don't patronize me! It's just possible I'm not mad, you know! 685 01:00:29,676 --> 01:00:31,769 I'm asking you to make a small quantum jump with me... 686 01:00:31,844 --> 01:00:33,971 ...to accept one deviant concept... 687 01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:37,647 ...that our other states of consciousness are as real as our waking state... 688 01:00:37,717 --> 01:00:39,241 ...and that reality can be externalized! 689 01:00:39,319 --> 01:00:40,308 You're screaming. 690 01:00:40,386 --> 01:00:41,876 I get this patronizing shit... 691 01:00:41,954 --> 01:00:44,616 ...from Arthur and Mason for three months and I'm sick of it! 692 01:00:44,691 --> 01:00:48,525 We've got millions of years stored away in that computer bank we call our minds! 693 01:00:48,594 --> 01:00:52,121 We have got trillions of dormant genes in us, our whole evolutionary past. 694 01:00:52,198 --> 01:00:54,029 Perhaps I've tapped into that! 695 01:00:54,634 --> 01:00:57,660 I want to get back into that tank and repeat the experiment. 696 01:00:57,737 --> 01:01:01,935 The most elementary laboratory behavior! Repeat the experiment. Confirm it! 697 01:01:02,909 --> 01:01:05,673 I would like other responsible scientists with me when I do it! 698 01:01:05,745 --> 01:01:08,270 I would like a little consensual validation on this. 699 01:01:08,948 --> 01:01:12,281 We may have demonstrated a whole new force in nature! 700 01:01:13,252 --> 01:01:16,653 For God's sake, don't you agree it merits further investigation? 701 01:01:16,723 --> 01:01:18,281 I have the tapes, notes and everything. 702 01:01:18,358 --> 01:01:21,725 What time would you like to come and look at the stuff tomorrow? 703 01:01:22,495 --> 01:01:23,792 2:00, 2:30. 704 01:01:26,432 --> 01:01:28,992 I just want to get the girls. I'll be right back. 705 01:02:08,408 --> 01:02:11,002 -i'll get it, i'll get it. -No, no, i will. 706 01:02:12,378 --> 01:02:14,778 It's 8:30, so get washed and changed right now... 707 01:02:14,847 --> 01:02:17,611 ...and I want no trouble from either of you tonight. 708 01:02:17,683 --> 01:02:18,775 Hello? 709 01:02:19,285 --> 01:02:21,344 Oh, Mason. Thank you for calling. 710 01:02:21,921 --> 01:02:23,684 I assume you've spoken to Arthur. 711 01:02:24,524 --> 01:02:27,118 No, no, I just got back from dinner with the kids. 712 01:02:27,527 --> 01:02:30,257 Well, I just don't know what to say. 713 01:02:30,396 --> 01:02:33,490 I think you're absolutely right. He's on the verge of a breakdown. 714 01:02:33,566 --> 01:02:37,195 He was here all afternoon and carried on like a madman and then just disappeared. 715 01:02:37,270 --> 01:02:40,706 Ordinarily I wouldn't be this panicky, but I just am very worried. 716 01:04:51,938 --> 01:04:54,964 -What's the trouble? -There's an animal loose in the basement! 717 01:04:55,374 --> 01:04:56,705 What kind of animal? 718 01:04:56,976 --> 01:04:58,273 Monkey, I think! 719 01:05:22,501 --> 01:05:23,968 Charlie! Charlie Thomas! 720 01:05:25,404 --> 01:05:26,666 Where are you? 721 01:05:28,975 --> 01:05:31,443 We've got an animal loose in the B-building basement. 722 01:05:31,510 --> 01:05:34,001 I'm heading to the north corridor leading to the boiler room... 723 01:05:34,080 --> 01:05:35,672 ...so you guys come down the other way. 724 01:05:35,748 --> 01:05:38,308 Now, watch your step. He's a pretty good-sized ape. 725 01:05:38,451 --> 01:05:41,648 Call the animal rooms and.... What the hell is he doing down here? 726 01:06:10,783 --> 01:06:12,546 He must be in here somewhere. 727 01:06:14,987 --> 01:06:16,750 I'm gonna take a look up here. 728 01:08:08,067 --> 01:08:09,830 Get out of here! 729 01:13:55,914 --> 01:13:57,905 What were you doing in the tank room? 730 01:13:59,852 --> 01:14:03,015 I remember large fragments of what happened, but not all of it. 731 01:14:06,125 --> 01:14:08,025 You'll have to be patient with me. 732 01:14:09,228 --> 01:14:12,391 I've had Mason looking all over Boston for you all night. 733 01:14:13,565 --> 01:14:15,055 It's okay. I'm all right. 734 01:14:24,643 --> 01:14:28,010 I suppose getting a call at 2:30 in the morning from the police... 735 01:14:29,314 --> 01:14:31,976 ...to the effect your husband has been found sleeping naked... 736 01:14:32,050 --> 01:14:34,746 ...in the city zoo might have caused you some concern. 737 01:14:34,953 --> 01:14:36,113 I think you could say that. 738 01:14:36,188 --> 01:14:39,680 And Mason writing you this whole time that I'm having a nervous breakdown... 739 01:14:39,758 --> 01:14:42,454 ...and you figured I finally flipped out altogether. 740 01:14:44,963 --> 01:14:49,024 I'm sorry, Emily. Forgive me. I know what a harrowing day I've caused you. 741 01:14:49,101 --> 01:14:51,160 I suppose you've been sitting here all this time... 742 01:14:51,236 --> 01:14:53,932 ...trying to figure out how to get me to a psychiatrist. 743 01:14:54,006 --> 01:14:55,496 As a matter of fact, I have. 744 01:14:55,674 --> 01:14:58,575 I don't know how you've put up with me all these years. 745 01:15:01,046 --> 01:15:02,172 I loved you. 746 01:15:06,518 --> 01:15:10,215 Oh, my God, Emily, I don't know how to tell you this. I really don't. 747 01:15:10,889 --> 01:15:12,823 The implications are staggering. 748 01:15:13,392 --> 01:15:15,622 Apparently I entered a very primitive consciousness. 749 01:15:15,694 --> 01:15:18,527 All I can remember is what was comprehensible to that consciousness. 750 01:15:18,597 --> 01:15:22,158 I don't remember, at least not clearly, how I got out of the tank room. 751 01:15:23,468 --> 01:15:25,527 The first thing I remember are the dogs. 752 01:15:25,604 --> 01:15:28,835 I followed a pack of wild dogs to the zoo. That's how I got there. 753 01:15:31,009 --> 01:15:34,445 In the zoo, I hunted down, killed and ate a small sheep. 754 01:15:38,283 --> 01:15:41,013 I was utterly primal. I consisted of nothing more... 755 01:15:41,086 --> 01:15:44,112 ...than the will to survive, to live through the night... 756 01:15:44,556 --> 01:15:45,955 ...to eat... 757 01:15:47,059 --> 01:15:48,321 ...to drink... 758 01:15:51,196 --> 01:15:52,356 ...to sleep. 759 01:15:56,201 --> 01:15:58,965 It was the most supremely satisfying time of my life. 760 01:16:02,941 --> 01:16:04,636 I may have killed a man tonight. 761 01:16:06,612 --> 01:16:07,874 I remember... 762 01:16:09,982 --> 01:16:11,540 ...beating on a.... 763 01:16:20,359 --> 01:16:22,953 You don't know the trouble I had getting these clothes. 764 01:16:23,028 --> 01:16:25,394 I had to go down to the security office. 765 01:16:27,532 --> 01:16:30,160 They want you to call the security office right now. 766 01:16:30,302 --> 01:16:33,135 There was some kind of ape loose in your isolation tank room tonight. 767 01:16:33,205 --> 01:16:36,902 Do you know anything about that? This ape almost killed a security guard. 768 01:16:37,576 --> 01:16:40,807 You didn't bring some ape down to that tank room tonight, did you? 769 01:16:45,384 --> 01:16:48,581 Your watch and stuff are in your jacket pocket. Are you all right? 770 01:16:49,655 --> 01:16:50,883 Is he all right? 771 01:16:51,256 --> 01:16:53,281 Tell Mason what you've been telling me. 772 01:16:53,425 --> 01:16:55,620 I want to hear Mason's views on all this. 773 01:16:57,129 --> 01:16:59,393 I think Mason's views will be predictable. 774 01:17:01,900 --> 01:17:04,232 y God! There it is... 775 01:17:05,971 --> 01:17:10,169 ...a proto-human. The first and the original truly human form. 776 01:17:11,543 --> 01:17:14,944 Tiny. Perhaps four feet high. Completely furred. 777 01:17:15,380 --> 01:17:19,077 Chimp-like, but erect. No knuckle walking. Shorter arms. 778 01:17:19,151 --> 01:17:23,850 He's moving along so gracefully. There's two, three of them. 779 01:17:25,257 --> 01:17:26,884 Bipedal, tiny.... 780 01:17:35,133 --> 01:17:37,533 i'm killing.... 781 01:17:37,602 --> 01:17:39,570 i'm killing something, a goat. 782 01:17:40,105 --> 01:17:41,800 i'm killing... 783 01:17:42,140 --> 01:17:44,870 ...i'm eating hot flesh. 784 01:17:45,143 --> 01:17:46,974 i'm eating the blood of a goat. 785 01:17:51,083 --> 01:17:52,311 Are you okay? 786 01:17:53,218 --> 01:17:54,207 Beautiful. 787 01:17:54,319 --> 01:17:55,445 Beautiful. 788 01:17:55,887 --> 01:17:58,117 it sounded like he was having a bad trip to me. 789 01:17:58,190 --> 01:18:00,750 Some of these tank trips can get pretty creepy. 790 01:18:03,528 --> 01:18:05,052 What the hell was that? 791 01:19:00,118 --> 01:19:01,779 Did I wake you? It's Emily. 792 01:19:02,888 --> 01:19:05,823 Eddie, I'm in a kind of wild panic. I need to talk to you. 793 01:19:18,570 --> 01:19:20,561 I don't know how even to put this into words... 794 01:19:20,639 --> 01:19:22,937 ...but I'm beginning to think what happened to you was... 795 01:19:23,008 --> 01:19:24,999 ...not just a hallucinatory experience. 796 01:19:25,076 --> 01:19:29,012 I've got this gut feeling that something phenomenological did actually happen... 797 01:19:29,080 --> 01:19:31,708 ...that there was some kind of genetic transformation. 798 01:19:31,950 --> 01:19:35,317 I don't know why I think this is in defiance of all rationality, but I do... 799 01:19:35,387 --> 01:19:38,845 ...and now that I do, I'm terrified. I mean really terrified. Petrified. 800 01:19:38,924 --> 01:19:40,016 So am I. 801 01:19:40,091 --> 01:19:42,252 I don't want you doing this experiment again next week. 802 01:19:42,327 --> 01:19:43,794 I have to find out if it actually happened. 803 01:19:43,862 --> 01:19:45,489 I'm asking you to put the experiment off... 804 01:19:45,564 --> 01:19:47,532 ...till we understand it more to minimize the risk. 805 01:19:47,599 --> 01:19:50,295 You can't. You have to work back from the event itself. 806 01:19:50,368 --> 01:19:52,996 But you may be causing yourself irreversible genetic damage! 807 01:19:53,071 --> 01:19:54,265 We're not dealing with genetics! 808 01:19:54,339 --> 01:19:56,534 We're beyond mass and matter here, beyond even energy. 809 01:19:56,608 --> 01:19:58,667 What we're back to is the first thought. 810 01:20:00,078 --> 01:20:01,875 I'm trying to tell you I love you. 811 01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:04,276 I know that. 812 01:20:05,584 --> 01:20:09,281 And I'm trying to tell you, this is an all-bets-are-off sort of thing. 813 01:20:09,421 --> 01:20:12,913 We may be opening a black box that may scrap our whole picture of space-time. 814 01:20:12,991 --> 01:20:15,152 We might even have a link to another universe. 815 01:20:15,227 --> 01:20:18,492 For God's sake, you're a scientist. You must know how I feel. 816 01:20:21,199 --> 01:20:23,099 Yes, I know how you feel. 817 01:20:26,204 --> 01:20:28,866 It's very late. Would you like to stay here tonight? 818 01:20:31,476 --> 01:20:34,707 I could do with a little love and a little reassurance right now. 819 01:20:36,014 --> 01:20:37,413 You'll stay, won't you? 820 01:21:15,820 --> 01:21:19,119 If I come out of that tank anthropoid, I'll be in a very primitive state... 821 01:21:19,190 --> 01:21:22,956 ...and impossible to relate to, so sedate me while I'm still in the tank... 822 01:21:23,028 --> 01:21:26,054 ...otherwise you'll have to chase me around and subdue me. 823 01:21:27,666 --> 01:21:30,362 You come out of that tank looking like an ape... 824 01:21:30,435 --> 01:21:33,199 ...I'm going over to Mass. Mental and commit myself. 825 01:21:34,339 --> 01:21:36,807 If it happens, we'll bring him down with a big bolus of Amytal. 826 01:21:36,875 --> 01:21:40,208 What do you mean if it happens? Everybody keeps saying if it happens! 827 01:21:40,412 --> 01:21:44,439 Do you think something is gonna happen? Because if you do, I'd like to know. 828 01:21:46,051 --> 01:21:48,076 I'm sorry. I'm just nervous as hell. 829 01:21:48,486 --> 01:21:49,612 Listen, so am I. 830 01:22:53,585 --> 01:22:54,711 Anything happen? 831 01:22:55,320 --> 01:22:57,379 I just checked him 10 minutes ago. 832 01:22:58,523 --> 01:23:00,252 Did you order chicken or turkey? 833 01:23:00,325 --> 01:23:02,020 I hope chicken is all right. 834 01:23:02,093 --> 01:23:04,425 I've got nearly 1 1 :00. That's more than two hours now. 835 01:23:04,496 --> 01:23:06,259 I think we should stop this. 836 01:23:07,098 --> 01:23:08,656 Frankly, I'm really frightened! 837 01:23:08,733 --> 01:23:10,758 We could be screwing up his whole genetic structure! 838 01:23:10,835 --> 01:23:12,496 Now how do we stop this? 839 01:23:12,604 --> 01:23:14,765 -Can you bring him down? -He's gonna be sore as hell. 840 01:23:14,839 --> 01:23:16,204 We should never have let him do it! 841 01:23:16,274 --> 01:23:18,572 I don't know how we let him talk us into this. 842 01:23:18,643 --> 01:23:20,702 We were humoring him, but we know he's not crazy... 843 01:23:20,779 --> 01:23:22,269 ...and we all know, deep in our hearts... 844 01:23:22,347 --> 01:23:25,282 ...he may be onto something beyond our own comprehension! 845 01:23:25,350 --> 01:23:28,217 Now, because I believe him, I want this thing stopped! 846 01:31:15,820 --> 01:31:17,219 His signs are all good. 847 01:31:17,288 --> 01:31:19,256 He'll sleep a day or two, come out a bit stuporous. 848 01:31:19,323 --> 01:31:21,314 He's got a whopping load of drugs in him. 849 01:31:21,392 --> 01:31:24,088 It's not uncommon for a psychedelic experience like this... 850 01:31:24,162 --> 01:31:25,186 ...to whack you out. 851 01:31:25,263 --> 01:31:27,595 You'd hardly call this just a psychedelic experience. 852 01:31:27,732 --> 01:31:29,927 His heart is good. His pressure is good. 853 01:31:30,001 --> 01:31:32,265 I'm more worried about you than I am about him. 854 01:31:32,336 --> 01:31:33,394 I'm all right. 855 01:31:41,612 --> 01:31:44,638 Of all the goddamn men in this whole world, why do I have to love this one? 856 01:31:44,715 --> 01:31:46,182 I can't get him out of me. 857 01:31:46,884 --> 01:31:49,682 Do you know how many men I tried to fall in love with this past year? 858 01:31:49,754 --> 01:31:53,019 No matter who I'm in bed with, I have to imagine it's him or nothing happens. 859 01:31:53,090 --> 01:31:55,081 No matter who I'm eating with or walking with... 860 01:31:55,159 --> 01:31:57,684 ...there's always this pain because it isn't him. 861 01:31:58,396 --> 01:32:00,091 I'm possessed by him. 862 01:32:03,901 --> 01:32:05,368 Oh, it's crazy! 863 01:32:07,038 --> 01:32:09,097 I think that's the way it's supposed to be. 864 01:32:09,173 --> 01:32:10,401 But he doesn't give a damn about me! 865 01:32:10,474 --> 01:32:13,409 You're the only thing he cares about outside of his work. 866 01:32:15,346 --> 01:32:18,747 I was never real to him. Nothing in the human condition was ever real to him. 867 01:32:18,816 --> 01:32:20,078 He's a truth lover. 868 01:32:20,618 --> 01:32:24,486 Reality to Eddie is only that which is changeless, immutably constant. 869 01:32:25,523 --> 01:32:28,515 What happened to Eddie tonight, that was Eddie's idea of love. 870 01:32:30,528 --> 01:32:32,189 That's consummation. 871 01:32:33,364 --> 01:32:35,855 He finally got it off with God. 872 01:32:35,933 --> 01:32:40,302 He finally embraced the Absolute, was finally ravished by Truth... 873 01:32:40,371 --> 01:32:42,464 ...and it goddamned near destroyed him! 874 01:32:44,775 --> 01:32:47,005 He never loved me. You knew him as well as I did. 875 01:32:47,078 --> 01:32:50,138 We were all bits of transitory matter to him. 876 01:32:52,783 --> 01:32:56,275 All right, now, you're going into shock. I'm going to get you something. 877 01:33:10,968 --> 01:33:14,233 We reached a point tonight where physical science just breaks down. 878 01:33:14,305 --> 01:33:15,795 We're in blue skies! 879 01:33:16,107 --> 01:33:18,701 Tonight was history, and what are we going to do about it? 880 01:33:19,110 --> 01:33:21,078 I'm going to do nothing about it! 881 01:33:21,379 --> 01:33:22,937 Tonight scared the hell out of me! 882 01:33:23,014 --> 01:33:24,641 That tank just blew up! 883 01:33:24,982 --> 01:33:28,509 Whatever happened inside that tank released a hell of a lot of energy. 884 01:33:29,353 --> 01:33:33,153 For God's sake, let's drop this goddamn thing. I don't want to talk about it. 885 01:33:33,224 --> 01:33:36,125 I can't help it! You may want to go to sleep... 886 01:33:36,227 --> 01:33:39,025 ...but the way I feel I don't expect to go to sleep for a year! 887 01:33:39,096 --> 01:33:41,064 I'm on fucking fire! 888 01:33:41,666 --> 01:33:45,625 I am in there mopping up the goddamned tank room and I would like to know why! 889 01:33:46,103 --> 01:33:48,128 Do you believe in supernatural agencies? 890 01:33:48,205 --> 01:33:49,536 No, sir, I do not! 891 01:33:50,207 --> 01:33:53,404 Then what we saw tonight was a physical phenomenon... 892 01:33:53,477 --> 01:33:56,207 ...an inexplicable physical phenomenon! 893 01:33:56,280 --> 01:33:59,044 If it's phenomenological, then it's explicable. I have to know why. 894 01:33:59,116 --> 01:33:59,980 Let me talk! 895 01:34:00,051 --> 01:34:01,484 I've been mopping that tank room... 896 01:34:01,552 --> 01:34:04,180 ...for the last three hours and I've had it! Leave me alone! 897 01:34:04,255 --> 01:34:07,452 I would like to tell you what I would like to do! 898 01:34:07,658 --> 01:34:10,149 We have got to repeat this with other human subjects! 899 01:34:10,227 --> 01:34:11,694 We need a selective sample! 900 01:34:11,762 --> 01:34:14,788 We will put up a notice in the Student Union for volunteers! 901 01:34:14,999 --> 01:34:17,968 And get five or six subjects and go back to square one with them... 902 01:34:18,035 --> 01:34:19,662 ...and step up the doses of the drug... 903 01:34:19,737 --> 01:34:22,934 ...in a graduated fashion and check them against Eddie's values! 904 01:34:23,541 --> 01:34:26,635 We could even get a grant, for Christ's sake! 905 01:34:29,547 --> 01:34:33,381 And here you are, willing to use an untested drug on innocent human beings! 906 01:34:33,751 --> 01:34:35,048 Please stop shouting! 907 01:34:44,495 --> 01:34:45,553 How are you? 908 01:34:47,031 --> 01:34:48,965 Would you like to go back to sleep? 909 01:34:50,968 --> 01:34:52,094 Yes. 910 01:34:53,404 --> 01:34:56,339 Would you mind if Mason had a quick look at you first? 911 01:34:58,175 --> 01:34:59,369 Good idea. 912 01:35:02,880 --> 01:35:05,178 Maybe you ought to have a quick look at him. 913 01:36:08,446 --> 01:36:10,038 Oh, I hope it isn't the kids. 914 01:36:11,649 --> 01:36:12,707 Hello? 915 01:36:16,554 --> 01:36:18,681 Everything's fine, Arthur. He's fine. 916 01:36:19,523 --> 01:36:21,252 It's Arthur. Are you fine? 917 01:36:23,327 --> 01:36:26,353 I'll call you back when I'm more awake. Everything is fine. 918 01:36:31,602 --> 01:36:33,331 God, I wonder what time it is. 919 01:36:35,072 --> 01:36:36,505 I should call the kids. 920 01:36:38,242 --> 01:36:40,540 I can't tell you how much you mean to me... 921 01:36:41,011 --> 01:36:44,503 ...how much I need you and the kids. I just wanted you to know that. 922 01:36:44,782 --> 01:36:48,013 You saved me. You redeemed me from the pit. I was in it, Emily. 923 01:36:48,719 --> 01:36:51,415 I was in that ultimate moment of terror... 924 01:36:51,489 --> 01:36:53,457 ...that is the beginning of life. 925 01:36:53,691 --> 01:36:54,885 It is nothing. 926 01:36:56,293 --> 01:36:58,261 Simple, hideous nothing. 927 01:37:00,030 --> 01:37:03,488 The final truth of all things is that there is no final Truth. 928 01:37:05,369 --> 01:37:08,998 Truth is what's transitory. It's human life that is real. 929 01:37:09,073 --> 01:37:10,199 I don't want to frighten you... 930 01:37:10,274 --> 01:37:13,107 ...but what I'm trying to tell you is that moment of terror... 931 01:37:13,177 --> 01:37:16,578 ...is a real and living horror, living and growing within me now... 932 01:37:17,681 --> 01:37:20,741 ...and the only thing that keeps it from devouring me is you. 933 01:37:20,985 --> 01:37:22,953 Why don't you just come back to us? 934 01:37:25,689 --> 01:37:29,216 It's too late. I don't think I can get out of it anymore. 935 01:37:30,294 --> 01:37:32,785 I can't live with it. The pain is too great. 936 01:37:41,405 --> 01:37:42,565 Defy it, Eddie! 937 01:37:42,640 --> 01:37:45,074 You made it real. You can make it unreal! 938 01:37:45,543 --> 01:37:46,976 If you love me, Eddie... 939 01:37:47,211 --> 01:37:48,200 ...if you love me! 940 01:37:48,279 --> 01:37:50,008 Eddie! Defy it! 941 01:39:36,654 --> 01:39:37,916 I love you, Emily.