1 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:25,967 You know, you ever heard someone say that old expression, 2 00:00:26,037 --> 00:00:30,599 'Everything happens for a reason'? Well, I don't think that applies to me. 3 00:00:31,343 --> 00:00:33,402 I mean, I spend every morning rushing to work 4 00:00:33,478 --> 00:00:37,346 trying to catch the same subway to the same lousy job. 5 00:00:37,415 --> 00:00:38,746 What's the reason for that? 6 00:00:38,817 --> 00:00:43,254 See, I'm a researcher for one of the biggest publishing houses in Chicago, 7 00:00:43,321 --> 00:00:45,312 but where I really belong is in Creative. 8 00:00:45,423 --> 00:00:49,951 The problem is, is my boss doesn't know it yet, so I'm totally frustrated. 9 00:00:50,028 --> 00:00:51,996 While my friend Paul keeps telling me, 10 00:00:52,063 --> 00:00:55,260 'You gotta be optimistic. You gotta be positive. ' 11 00:00:55,333 --> 00:00:56,891 OK. OK. You know what? 12 00:00:56,968 --> 00:01:00,369 Today is gonna be my lucky day. Today is gonna be my... 13 00:01:03,742 --> 00:01:06,711 Hey, look at that. It's your lucky day. - Did you just see that? 14 00:01:06,778 --> 00:01:07,767 Oh, I've seen it a million times. 15 00:01:07,846 --> 00:01:09,211 You want it? - No. 16 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,908 I don't want it. Go ahead. You got a new briefcase. 17 00:01:11,983 --> 00:01:13,951 Yeah, maybe its got a name on it or something. 18 00:01:14,019 --> 00:01:16,385 Oh, come... What are you, nuts? - What? 19 00:01:16,454 --> 00:01:17,978 You're gonna return it? - Yeah. 20 00:01:18,089 --> 00:01:20,284 Did you not just say you needed a new one? 21 00:01:20,358 --> 00:01:21,757 Yeah, when I get my raise. 22 00:01:21,826 --> 00:01:23,794 Haven't you been working there for, like, a year? 23 00:01:23,895 --> 00:01:26,295 I bet Taylor doesn't even know you work there. I'd be pissed. 24 00:01:26,364 --> 00:01:30,528 Are you pissed? I'd be pissed. - Yeah, I'm-I'm a little pissed. 25 00:01:30,602 --> 00:01:33,901 You know, come to think of it, I've never really seen you angry before. 26 00:01:33,972 --> 00:01:35,530 Henderson, you ever seen Tom really angry? 27 00:01:35,607 --> 00:01:38,269 No. - All right, fine. So I don't get angry. 28 00:01:38,343 --> 00:01:40,038 What is that, a bad thing? 29 00:01:40,111 --> 00:01:43,672 It's, you know, you keep it bottled up and then sooner or later, 30 00:01:43,748 --> 00:01:46,808 you come into work and you mow everyone down with one of those... 31 00:01:46,918 --> 00:01:50,081 AK-47. - AK-47. You know, just to impress, uh... 32 00:01:50,188 --> 00:01:51,951 Jodie Foster. - Jodie Foster. 33 00:01:52,023 --> 00:01:55,254 All right. I'll do it on your day off, all right? 34 00:01:55,326 --> 00:01:59,922 Touch�. There she is. It's your Jodie Foster. 35 00:01:59,998 --> 00:02:00,987 Paul, come on, man. 36 00:02:01,066 --> 00:02:02,363 How you ever gonna get to know her if you just sit there? 37 00:02:02,434 --> 00:02:04,402 It's Taylor's daughter, man. I can't just... 38 00:02:04,469 --> 00:02:08,906 You can't just what? Huh? Are you gonna be a loser your whole life? Hmm? 39 00:02:08,973 --> 00:02:12,340 Just go over there and talk to her. Go. Go. 40 00:02:12,410 --> 00:02:15,243 OK, fine. I'm going. I'm going. - You're going. 41 00:02:32,831 --> 00:02:34,298 Excuse me. 42 00:02:45,310 --> 00:02:47,005 Hi. I'm... 43 00:02:51,983 --> 00:02:53,780 I... Oh! 44 00:02:54,886 --> 00:02:57,855 Uh... I... He wa... 45 00:03:07,899 --> 00:03:10,367 What are you doing to my dog? - Ma'am... 46 00:03:10,435 --> 00:03:13,268 Who's taunting my dog? - No one's taunting your dog. He... 47 00:03:15,173 --> 00:03:17,232 Um, the-the d... Um... 48 00:03:18,143 --> 00:03:21,340 Here, why don't you take my seat? Here. 49 00:03:23,915 --> 00:03:25,473 Great. Now, that's great. 50 00:03:25,550 --> 00:03:27,142 Two more minutes, and I'm gonna be closer than you are. 51 00:03:27,252 --> 00:03:28,810 Look. Opening. Go. 52 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:30,888 Just go. 53 00:03:30,989 --> 00:03:33,253 Go. Go. 54 00:03:34,592 --> 00:03:36,082 It's OK. Go, just go. 55 00:03:39,264 --> 00:03:43,166 Lake Street. Lake Street is next. 56 00:03:45,370 --> 00:03:48,464 You're Tom Stansfield, right? From Research? 57 00:03:48,540 --> 00:03:52,499 Yeah. Yeah. Tom. Tom Stansfield. 58 00:03:57,315 --> 00:04:00,682 Stansfield from Research. 59 00:04:03,821 --> 00:04:05,288 It's a growing sport, you know? 60 00:04:05,390 --> 00:04:07,858 Paul, there is no way that she thought that it was a wrestling magazine. 61 00:04:07,959 --> 00:04:10,450 Oh, come on. Get over it, OK? 62 00:04:10,562 --> 00:04:12,792 You're a little embarrassed. It happens, OK? 63 00:04:12,864 --> 00:04:14,491 Let me tell you something. If I had a dime for every time 64 00:04:14,566 --> 00:04:16,397 a gay naked magazine fell out of my... I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 65 00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:17,456 What? Paul! 66 00:04:17,535 --> 00:04:19,264 No. But seriously, so you're a little humiliated. 67 00:04:19,337 --> 00:04:22,363 At least now we've established that she knows who you are, right? 68 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,408 I'm gonna have to leave the company. - No, you're not. 69 00:04:24,475 --> 00:04:25,806 Oh, God. There she is. 70 00:04:25,877 --> 00:04:27,936 Oh, and I need to see the proofs on Thailand immediately. 71 00:04:28,012 --> 00:04:30,105 All right. What else have we got? 72 00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:38,555 Are you Tom? - Yes. 73 00:04:38,623 --> 00:04:42,719 Mr. Taylor wants to see you. - Oh... OK. 74 00:04:43,361 --> 00:04:44,328 OK. 75 00:04:44,429 --> 00:04:47,956 OK, you see? This is your chance. This is fate. This is what I'm talking about. 76 00:04:48,032 --> 00:04:51,058 It's about that new opening in Creative and you're the man for the job. 77 00:04:51,135 --> 00:04:53,467 You're gonna go in there and you're gonna pitch him those book ideas. 78 00:04:53,538 --> 00:04:55,369 No, I just... I'm really not ready. 79 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:57,670 Let's get to business. Now we're steppin' up. OK. 80 00:04:57,742 --> 00:04:59,437 Come on. You're gonna go in there, you're gonna pitch him an inside curve... 81 00:04:59,510 --> 00:05:00,875 Wait, wait. Where is my blue folder? 82 00:05:00,945 --> 00:05:03,175 You don't need it. Enough with the excuses already. Come here. 83 00:05:03,248 --> 00:05:05,773 You look good. You feel good? - I feel like I'm gonna throw up. 84 00:05:05,850 --> 00:05:07,647 Well, that's good. I want you to use that, OK? 85 00:05:07,752 --> 00:05:09,811 What is this? This dad's? It's nice. Now get in there, OK? 86 00:05:09,921 --> 00:05:12,719 Don't-don't touch my ass. - What? It was a light spank. It was light. 87 00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:17,220 Hey. - Hey. 88 00:05:17,295 --> 00:05:19,889 Uh, do I just go in there? - Um, no. He's not finished yet, 89 00:05:19,964 --> 00:05:22,296 but you can have a seat over there. - Oh, OK. 90 00:05:22,367 --> 00:05:24,995 Let me explain something to you, Henderson. 91 00:05:25,069 --> 00:05:30,371 I did not dislike your ideas. I found them loathsome. 92 00:05:32,277 --> 00:05:34,905 I hated them. 93 00:05:34,979 --> 00:05:37,539 You're dismissed. - From your office? 94 00:05:37,615 --> 00:05:39,674 Nice try. 95 00:05:43,021 --> 00:05:46,513 Good luck. You're gonna need it... - He's ready to see you. 96 00:05:46,624 --> 00:05:47,955 You can come in. 97 00:05:48,026 --> 00:05:50,893 You know what? We should have never let up after the Revolution! 98 00:05:50,962 --> 00:05:53,396 Sit down. Sit down. Coffee? 99 00:05:53,464 --> 00:05:57,560 We shouldn't have left you at toehold. We should have driven you to the sea! 100 00:05:59,937 --> 00:06:03,839 Now... what's this I hear about you making threats 101 00:06:03,908 --> 00:06:07,002 to spray this place with an AK-47? 102 00:06:07,078 --> 00:06:09,069 What? 103 00:06:10,081 --> 00:06:15,246 Oh, oh, oh. No. That... I was just making a joke. 104 00:06:15,353 --> 00:06:18,413 Oh, that's funny to you? Killing everyone in this office? 105 00:06:18,523 --> 00:06:25,258 No. No. No, no, no, no. The... Paul said how I never get angry... 106 00:06:25,330 --> 00:06:27,821 And what about you making fun of midgets? 107 00:06:27,899 --> 00:06:29,594 I never made fun of midgets. 108 00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:31,999 You said it'd be fun to date one 109 00:06:32,070 --> 00:06:34,129 because then you could rest your beer on her head. 110 00:06:34,205 --> 00:06:36,400 No. No, I never said anything like that. 111 00:06:36,474 --> 00:06:39,307 Apparently Henderson thinks you did. 112 00:06:39,377 --> 00:06:42,676 Now I've got a good sense of humor, but that's just plain sick. 113 00:06:42,747 --> 00:06:45,545 But, sir, I didn't say... - Audrey? 114 00:06:46,818 --> 00:06:49,378 Which file did I ask you for? - Uh, the Platt file? 115 00:06:49,487 --> 00:06:52,888 John Platt. Not Sam Platt. - I'm sorry. I guess I didn't think that... 116 00:06:52,957 --> 00:06:54,720 That's right. You didn't think. 117 00:06:54,792 --> 00:06:57,852 Now if it's not too much trouble, if you could fetch me the right file... 118 00:06:57,929 --> 00:07:00,124 OK. - And get Tom and me some doughnuts. 119 00:07:01,666 --> 00:07:06,330 Now... I'm told you've been trying to schedule a meeting with me 120 00:07:06,404 --> 00:07:09,896 about some ideas. What are they? 121 00:07:09,974 --> 00:07:14,877 Oh, uh... yeah. I had-I had some ideas. 122 00:07:16,881 --> 00:07:20,146 Something wrong with the coffee? - Uh, no. It's fine. 123 00:07:20,251 --> 00:07:22,719 Why'd you make a face? - What? 124 00:07:22,820 --> 00:07:26,085 Oh, well... It's-it's a little bitter, but... 125 00:07:29,293 --> 00:07:32,490 Jesus. Audrey, get in here! - Sir, really, it's f... It's not a problem. 126 00:07:32,563 --> 00:07:35,293 I've burped up stuff better than this. - Sir, it's fine. 127 00:07:35,366 --> 00:07:38,426 Is something wrong? - Taste Tom's coffee. 128 00:07:38,503 --> 00:07:40,869 No, really. It's OK. 129 00:07:42,573 --> 00:07:46,168 How would you rate that? - Well, it's not that great. 130 00:07:46,244 --> 00:07:51,978 Not that great? I guess so. Tom thinks it's shit. 131 00:07:52,049 --> 00:07:55,177 Audrey, are you retarded? 132 00:07:55,286 --> 00:07:58,517 It's not a rhetorical question. Are you retarded? 133 00:07:58,623 --> 00:07:59,590 No, I'm not retarded. 134 00:07:59,690 --> 00:08:04,150 Because a retarded person can make a cup of coffee. Am I right, Tom? 135 00:08:04,228 --> 00:08:06,560 Oh, I... I don't-I don't really know much 136 00:08:06,631 --> 00:08:09,191 about the limitations of the handicapped. 137 00:08:09,267 --> 00:08:14,569 I know of an employment agency that hires out retarded people for $4 an hour. 138 00:08:14,639 --> 00:08:19,201 So, if making a cup of coffee is too difficult a task for you, Miss Bennett, 139 00:08:19,277 --> 00:08:22,337 perhaps you'd be good enough to let me know, and I'll contact this agency 140 00:08:22,413 --> 00:08:25,974 and give a retarded person a job. 141 00:08:31,422 --> 00:08:35,620 I wasn't too rough on her, was I? - Well, she is new and all. 142 00:08:35,693 --> 00:08:38,992 Maybe I was out of line. But do you understand what I'm dealing with? 143 00:08:39,063 --> 00:08:42,760 I mean, here I am trying to fill a position in Creative, 144 00:08:42,834 --> 00:08:47,567 and I can't seem to find one person responsible enough to earn my trust. 145 00:08:47,638 --> 00:08:51,005 I sometimes wonder if anyone here even knows what they're doing. 146 00:08:51,075 --> 00:08:52,838 I can understand how you could see it that way, sir, but... 147 00:08:52,910 --> 00:08:55,708 So you don't think I was out of line? 148 00:08:57,482 --> 00:09:01,680 Well, if what you're saying is that a company 149 00:09:01,786 --> 00:09:04,721 is only as strong as its weakest link, that makes sense, but... 150 00:09:04,789 --> 00:09:07,053 Exactly. That's exactly right. 151 00:09:07,124 --> 00:09:09,524 A company is only as strong as its weakest link. 152 00:09:09,594 --> 00:09:11,528 Yeah... - Audrey, get in here! 153 00:09:11,596 --> 00:09:13,564 You were right, Tom. I was too soft on her. 154 00:09:13,631 --> 00:09:14,791 What? No. - Yeah? 155 00:09:14,866 --> 00:09:16,800 Audrey, after talking it over with Tom here, 156 00:09:16,868 --> 00:09:19,894 I've come to realize that I'm gonna have to let you go. 157 00:09:19,971 --> 00:09:22,769 You're firing me?! - I'm sorry. It's just not working out. 158 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,774 But, sir, I was suggesting... - I take my job very seriously. 159 00:09:24,842 --> 00:09:27,037 A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. 160 00:09:27,111 --> 00:09:30,239 Right, but there's a whole other side. - Thanks for the support. 161 00:09:30,314 --> 00:09:32,509 Audrey, empty out your desk by the end of the day. 162 00:09:32,583 --> 00:09:34,608 Fine. - Sir, this... I... 163 00:09:34,719 --> 00:09:36,346 Thanks for straightening me out there, Tom. 164 00:09:36,454 --> 00:09:38,854 Right, right. But I didn't get to say what I wanted to say. 165 00:09:38,923 --> 00:09:43,587 Oh, your ideas, of course. Schedule an appointment with my new secretary. 166 00:09:50,701 --> 00:09:53,898 Tom. Are you OK? 167 00:09:53,971 --> 00:09:56,838 Uh... yeah, sure. 168 00:09:56,908 --> 00:09:58,842 I'm guessing by the way you look he's on another one 169 00:09:58,910 --> 00:10:00,207 of his rampages this morning. 170 00:10:00,278 --> 00:10:02,542 Definitely. - Damn. 171 00:10:02,613 --> 00:10:04,046 I was hoping to catch him in a good mood. 172 00:10:04,115 --> 00:10:08,245 Yeah, that's, um... that's probably not gonna happen. 173 00:10:08,352 --> 00:10:10,946 I'm supposed to go to this party tonight, but my dad's making me housesit 174 00:10:11,055 --> 00:10:13,114 for his stupid bird while he's away this weekend. 175 00:10:13,224 --> 00:10:15,784 Well, why don't you go in there and tell him you're not gonna do it? 176 00:10:15,893 --> 00:10:17,656 I can't just... 177 00:10:17,728 --> 00:10:20,891 You can't just what? I mean, live your own life and have a free weekend? 178 00:10:20,965 --> 00:10:23,900 No, it's not that. 179 00:10:25,303 --> 00:10:27,863 Wait, it is that. - Yeah. 180 00:10:27,939 --> 00:10:31,568 I should just go to that party. - Yeah, of course. 181 00:10:32,343 --> 00:10:37,246 Well, um... OK, I'm gonna go back to, uh, work. 182 00:10:37,315 --> 00:10:39,476 OK, sure. 183 00:10:39,550 --> 00:10:43,213 Tom? I know this might seem a little out of place 184 00:10:43,321 --> 00:10:45,255 because we barely even know each other. 185 00:10:45,323 --> 00:10:47,951 But, do you have any plans tonight? 186 00:10:49,427 --> 00:10:50,621 No, no, no. 187 00:10:50,695 --> 00:10:55,132 Uh... no. I'm-I'm wide open. - We won't be home too late. 188 00:10:55,199 --> 00:10:56,427 Hey, it's no problem. 189 00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:59,628 So the party starts at 7. You could be at my dad's house by 6? 190 00:10:59,704 --> 00:11:01,331 Sure. - You sure you're cool with this? 191 00:11:01,405 --> 00:11:04,568 Are you kidding me? - Tom, you're such a sweetheart. 192 00:11:04,642 --> 00:11:08,510 Thank you so much. I'm gonna love you forever for this. 193 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:13,446 All right. Yeah, who's the man now? - See? What'd I tell you? 194 00:11:13,517 --> 00:11:17,317 I'm a lady-killer. 195 00:11:21,192 --> 00:11:23,820 How the hell could he be so excited about housesitting? 196 00:11:23,894 --> 00:11:28,126 He's nice, Daddy. That's how. Most guys wouldn't even offer to do that. 197 00:11:28,199 --> 00:11:30,690 I don't know if I want him around my bird. 198 00:11:30,768 --> 00:11:34,829 Oh, Dad, will you just relax? It's gonna be fine. I promise, OK? 199 00:11:34,905 --> 00:11:38,671 I'll check in as soon as I get there. 8:00. 200 00:11:39,276 --> 00:11:42,074 If I sense anything's wrong, you're coming back here. 201 00:11:42,146 --> 00:11:44,137 OK. OK. 202 00:12:31,762 --> 00:12:33,957 Very good. Right on time. 203 00:12:34,031 --> 00:12:38,934 Oh, sir. Uh... Hey, is that a bear trap? 204 00:12:39,003 --> 00:12:43,303 Yes. It's to keep the neighbor's kids out of my yard. 205 00:12:50,314 --> 00:12:55,308 Sir, I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you... 206 00:12:55,419 --> 00:12:58,013 well... letting tonight happen. 207 00:12:58,122 --> 00:13:03,719 I mean, I know it means a lot to Lisa, and I think you're doing the right thing. 208 00:13:04,495 --> 00:13:06,258 I don't know what you're planning, Stansfield, 209 00:13:06,330 --> 00:13:09,891 but you're attitude is making me very nervous. 210 00:13:11,635 --> 00:13:15,071 Those socks are clean, right? - Um... 211 00:13:15,139 --> 00:13:20,167 You hesitated. Put those on. - Are you serious? 212 00:13:30,121 --> 00:13:33,056 If you want to watch TV, the remote's there. 213 00:13:33,124 --> 00:13:36,093 That panel controls the lights, alarm, skylight, etc. 214 00:13:36,193 --> 00:13:37,854 Yeah, I probably won't use any of that stuff. 215 00:13:37,928 --> 00:13:41,159 You know, since the party starts at 7. - Party? 216 00:13:41,232 --> 00:13:44,895 I made it clear to Lisa you're not to have any guests in here. 217 00:13:44,969 --> 00:13:48,302 You're the only one allowed in the house. 218 00:13:49,140 --> 00:13:54,203 What? Lisa's not here? - No. Of course not. 219 00:13:55,112 --> 00:13:58,309 Lisa's at the party... 220 00:13:59,416 --> 00:14:02,146 and I'm staying here. 221 00:14:02,253 --> 00:14:06,246 Is this concept too complicated for you, Stansfield? 222 00:14:08,626 --> 00:14:11,595 Don't touch the furniture. 223 00:14:14,765 --> 00:14:17,734 And this is my bird's room. 224 00:14:17,802 --> 00:14:21,203 He's got his own room? 225 00:14:23,374 --> 00:14:25,842 That's cool. 226 00:14:28,546 --> 00:14:32,004 How's my little boy? 227 00:14:32,082 --> 00:14:37,213 This is OJ. - OJ? Like the murderer? 228 00:14:37,321 --> 00:14:42,258 No. Like the football player. OJ Simpson. 229 00:14:42,359 --> 00:14:45,590 I've set the alarm. When you hear it go off, feed him. 230 00:14:45,663 --> 00:14:49,497 Aw. What do I feed these little guys? 231 00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:55,597 They don't get fed. They are the food. His diet varies, but they're his favorites. 232 00:14:55,673 --> 00:14:58,301 Hey, don't you have to shut these doors? 233 00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:01,970 Not anymore. He's been depressed since his mate died. 234 00:15:02,046 --> 00:15:06,142 He won't fly. Just sits in his cage. 235 00:15:08,886 --> 00:15:13,880 Medication. Give him two of these at 10:00. 236 00:15:13,991 --> 00:15:16,118 I have to shove these down his throat? 237 00:15:16,193 --> 00:15:19,788 Just one. The other is inserted into his rectum. 238 00:15:19,864 --> 00:15:21,855 Don't worry. It's not too unpleasant for him. 239 00:15:21,932 --> 00:15:27,165 He doesn't bite, does he? - No. Not unless you taunt him. 240 00:15:27,238 --> 00:15:28,705 You're not planning on taunting him, are you, Tom? 241 00:15:28,772 --> 00:15:30,171 No. - I mean, that'd be really sick. 242 00:15:30,241 --> 00:15:32,573 No, of course not. 243 00:15:33,878 --> 00:15:36,779 And the most important thing, make sure he gets a pint of water. 244 00:15:36,847 --> 00:15:39,247 The medication tends to dry him out and then he can't breathe. 245 00:15:39,316 --> 00:15:41,546 OK. - Well, I must be off. 246 00:15:41,652 --> 00:15:44,644 Henderson should be waiting outside. - Henderson? I thought you fired him. 247 00:15:44,755 --> 00:15:46,814 Because his ideas were stupid? Of course not. 248 00:15:46,924 --> 00:15:48,858 He's gonna drive me to the train station. 249 00:15:48,926 --> 00:15:52,521 So, you can leave as soon as Lisa and Hans get back. 250 00:15:52,596 --> 00:15:54,928 Hans? - Lisa's boyfriend. 251 00:15:55,833 --> 00:16:00,099 So remember, uh... water in the bowl, medication, and... 252 00:16:00,170 --> 00:16:04,334 anything happens to this house while I'm gone, I'll kill you. 253 00:16:08,646 --> 00:16:11,012 You're housesitting? You gotta be kidding me. 254 00:16:11,081 --> 00:16:12,207 I know, it sucks. 255 00:16:12,283 --> 00:16:15,184 What are you talking about? Don't you see? This is a test. 256 00:16:15,286 --> 00:16:17,618 You watch Taylor's house, come up with a couple of great ideas 257 00:16:17,721 --> 00:16:19,655 and if everything goes smooth, you get the promotion. 258 00:16:19,723 --> 00:16:22,783 You think so? - Of course I do. What could be easier? 259 00:16:39,209 --> 00:16:42,542 What are you doing, Hans? Come here. 260 00:16:42,613 --> 00:16:47,243 Baby, you're gonna burn so bad if you don't let me put this on you right now. 261 00:16:51,255 --> 00:16:57,057 Oh, my God. You scared me, Hans. You're insane. Put that down. 262 00:16:58,162 --> 00:17:02,360 Want to put some on me? Put some lotion on me. 263 00:17:09,073 --> 00:17:12,839 Is Jack around? - Hey... what? Who are you? 264 00:17:12,910 --> 00:17:16,937 It's OK. I'm Red Taylor. I'm Jack's son. I let myself in the back. 265 00:17:17,014 --> 00:17:19,073 Oh. Hey. Tom Stansfield. - Hey. 266 00:17:19,149 --> 00:17:22,641 Tom, nice to meet you. Am I interrupting something here? 267 00:17:22,753 --> 00:17:27,952 Oh, no. Uh... I was... uh... Oh, your shoes. 268 00:17:28,025 --> 00:17:32,189 Nike. Uh, listen, Tom, can you do me a favor? I lost my TV Guide. 269 00:17:32,262 --> 00:17:36,289 I came over here to see if maybe my dad's got a copy of one. 270 00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:38,858 You haven't seen a copy of the guide laying around, have you? 271 00:17:38,936 --> 00:17:41,632 My sister in? - No, actually she's out for the evening. 272 00:17:41,705 --> 00:17:45,334 Bingo. - Oh. 273 00:17:45,409 --> 00:17:49,106 So, uh, you're here to... 274 00:17:50,014 --> 00:17:52,005 Housesit. - Oh. 275 00:17:52,883 --> 00:17:57,650 Yeah, it's probably for the best if you don't, uh, tell Lisa that I stopped by. 276 00:17:57,755 --> 00:18:01,953 Why? Is there a problem? - Well, you know how uptight she is. 277 00:18:02,026 --> 00:18:05,052 Really? - I'm more the free spirit of the family. 278 00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:10,797 Oh. Oh, boy. See that right there? 279 00:18:10,868 --> 00:18:13,894 Kirstie Alley? - Yeah. I dated her maid. 280 00:18:15,205 --> 00:18:18,038 Really? - I boned Kirstie Alley's maid. 281 00:18:18,108 --> 00:18:20,975 And this is while they were making Look Who's Talking. 282 00:18:21,045 --> 00:18:22,842 Wow, that's really something. 283 00:18:22,913 --> 00:18:25,746 I'll tell you another thing. You know Michelle Pfeiffer? 284 00:18:26,917 --> 00:18:29,852 I did the deed with Michelle Pfeiffer's cousin. 285 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:31,945 Wow. - Right out there in those bushes. 286 00:18:32,056 --> 00:18:34,354 Right. - Ah, she looked just like Michelle, too, 287 00:18:34,425 --> 00:18:36,450 except she was brunette instead of blond, 288 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,960 and she was kinda short and dumpy. 289 00:18:39,029 --> 00:18:42,590 Well, uh, ya certainly have an interesting life, Fred. 290 00:18:42,666 --> 00:18:44,793 You married, Tom? 291 00:18:44,868 --> 00:18:47,496 No. I'm single. - No girlfriend? 292 00:18:47,571 --> 00:18:51,530 No, and, no, actually I had a girlfriend, but we, uh, broke up. 293 00:18:52,976 --> 00:18:57,072 Listen, I really gotta get back to work, and since you got your TV Guide and... 294 00:18:57,147 --> 00:19:01,584 So, you broke up, huh? That's too bad. 295 00:19:01,685 --> 00:19:03,346 Was your ex a looker? - Yeah. 296 00:19:03,454 --> 00:19:05,581 Yeah, in my opinion she was. 297 00:19:05,689 --> 00:19:10,126 I bet you still keep a picture of her in your wallet. 298 00:19:10,194 --> 00:19:12,822 Yeah, I do. - Can I see it? 299 00:19:12,896 --> 00:19:14,557 Yeah, I suppose. - OK. 300 00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:17,429 Let me find her in here. There she is. 301 00:19:17,501 --> 00:19:21,403 Oh! Tom, you lucky man! 302 00:19:21,472 --> 00:19:24,703 Yeah. - Oh, she is a real piece of ass! 303 00:19:24,775 --> 00:19:28,267 Oh, I could knock on that back door all day long! 304 00:19:28,345 --> 00:19:30,779 Yeah? Sh-she's a pretty girl. - Wow. 305 00:19:30,848 --> 00:19:33,874 She has gotta be wicked in bed. Tell me she's wicked in bed, Tom. 306 00:19:33,984 --> 00:19:36,077 I bet you she banged your johnson raw every single night, 307 00:19:36,186 --> 00:19:37,983 OK... ...'cause that is one fine-looking broad. 308 00:19:38,088 --> 00:19:39,680 All right. Hey! Would ya... 309 00:19:39,790 --> 00:19:43,157 I me... You're talking about my girlfriend. 310 00:19:43,227 --> 00:19:46,719 Ex-girlfriend, you said. - Yeah, but still, it's... 311 00:19:46,797 --> 00:19:50,255 Come on. I'm just making conversation. You know, guy-talk. 312 00:19:50,334 --> 00:19:52,928 Look, I just... I don't tell comfortable 313 00:19:53,003 --> 00:19:56,803 talking about my intimate relationships with a complete stranger. 314 00:19:56,874 --> 00:19:59,001 Understood. 315 00:19:59,076 --> 00:20:02,307 Well, you know, given how uptight you are talking about sex, 316 00:20:02,379 --> 00:20:04,142 you pretty much answered the question. 317 00:20:04,214 --> 00:20:06,580 I am not uptight! OK? 318 00:20:06,650 --> 00:20:09,847 Just because I don't feel like revealing personal details 319 00:20:09,953 --> 00:20:13,821 about my ex-girlfriend's sexual habits does not make me uptight. 320 00:20:13,891 --> 00:20:16,359 I didn't ask you anything personal. 321 00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:19,395 Well, then, what the hell do you consider personal? 322 00:20:19,463 --> 00:20:23,126 Well, it'd be like, you know, if I asked you how big your rod was. 323 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,760 Then I would be out of line, 100%. 324 00:20:25,836 --> 00:20:30,466 No, no! That is no worse than asking me if my girlfriend's a nymph. 325 00:20:30,541 --> 00:20:33,271 I just asked you if she dug sex. 326 00:20:33,343 --> 00:20:35,709 Besides, I wouldn't have asked if I'd known she was frigid. 327 00:20:35,779 --> 00:20:38,339 Yeah, well, she is not frigid! 328 00:20:38,415 --> 00:20:40,383 Are you leaving? 329 00:20:40,450 --> 00:20:41,849 Oh, yeah. 330 00:20:41,952 --> 00:20:44,045 And listen. Could you do me a favor? 331 00:20:44,154 --> 00:20:45,621 It's no big deal. - What? 332 00:20:45,722 --> 00:20:49,351 A business associate of my dad's is gonna come by to pick this up. 333 00:20:49,426 --> 00:20:54,523 It's frozen steaks, it's a gift. - It's not cold. 334 00:20:56,066 --> 00:20:59,263 Dad says that's the way the guy likes'em. What are you gonna do? 335 00:20:59,336 --> 00:21:01,201 Will you give it to him? 336 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:05,431 Just one second. 337 00:21:12,182 --> 00:21:13,581 Audrey. - Tom. 338 00:21:13,617 --> 00:21:15,050 Let's go! Come on! 339 00:21:15,152 --> 00:21:18,178 Oh, I guess this makes sense. He's got you living with him now? 340 00:21:18,288 --> 00:21:20,552 Uh, no. I'm just watching his place. 341 00:21:20,624 --> 00:21:23,388 He's... Jack's out of town. - He is? 342 00:21:23,460 --> 00:21:26,190 Yeah. - Aw, shoot! 343 00:21:26,263 --> 00:21:28,731 I came by 'cause I was hoping to get my job back. 344 00:21:28,799 --> 00:21:30,323 You know, the one that you got me canned from 345 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:31,992 'cause I made a bad cup of coffee? Remember that? 346 00:21:32,069 --> 00:21:33,366 Listen, I'm really sorry about that. 347 00:21:33,437 --> 00:21:35,735 How can you fire someone for making a bad cup of coffee, huh? 348 00:21:35,806 --> 00:21:37,103 I know. That's what I tried to say to him. 349 00:21:37,174 --> 00:21:40,507 I mean, who do you think you are - Juan fucking Valdez? 350 00:21:40,577 --> 00:21:40,838 I might have had a future at that place if you'd just give me half a chance. 351 00:21:43,914 --> 00:21:47,850 Let's get a move on, saddlebag! - Oh, my God. That's my idiot boyfriend. 352 00:21:47,951 --> 00:21:51,887 Hold your pants, you freakin' psycho! 353 00:21:51,955 --> 00:21:54,355 God. He drives me crazy. 354 00:21:54,424 --> 00:21:57,655 Oh, hey, you know, since you're on the rug, would you mind putting these on? 355 00:21:57,728 --> 00:22:01,755 They're medical... I got'em on, too. - Ugh! Licorice. 356 00:22:01,832 --> 00:22:05,131 I hate licorice. I need water or I'm gonna throw up. Ugh! 357 00:22:05,202 --> 00:22:09,161 Thanks to you, I lost my second job inside a month and now I'm flat broke. 358 00:22:09,239 --> 00:22:10,604 You lost another job? 359 00:22:10,674 --> 00:22:13,404 Yeah, I got fired from my waitress job just last Friday. 360 00:22:13,477 --> 00:22:16,139 Why did they fire you? - Oh, I don't know. 361 00:22:16,213 --> 00:22:18,738 One of the assistant managers caught me making out with a customer. 362 00:22:18,815 --> 00:22:20,510 Excuse me? - Well, I mean, actually the customer 363 00:22:20,584 --> 00:22:22,017 was my boyfriend. 364 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,519 I mean, he became my boyfriend after the incident anyway. 365 00:22:24,588 --> 00:22:27,386 You got any beer in here? - Uh... Hey. 366 00:22:27,457 --> 00:22:29,823 Here we go. - Would you mind putting these on? 367 00:22:29,893 --> 00:22:33,090 It's a house rule. Oh, actually, that's a twist... Aah! 368 00:22:33,163 --> 00:22:37,896 That's the counter. Listen. Jack, is just a real stickler. That'd be great. 369 00:22:37,968 --> 00:22:40,459 No kidding. I found that out this morning. 370 00:22:40,537 --> 00:22:42,129 I swear I am gonna freak out and I'm gonna come in there... 371 00:22:42,205 --> 00:22:44,230 Oh, man. Spike's in a real mood. - Uh... 372 00:22:44,308 --> 00:22:45,605 Don't even... hey. 373 00:22:45,676 --> 00:22:47,507 Come on, come on, come on. Shit. - I swear to God, Audrey, 374 00:22:47,577 --> 00:22:50,307 I'll piss on this guy's front steps! Let's go! 375 00:22:51,481 --> 00:22:54,678 If you don't open this door this second, I'm gonna come in there and... 376 00:22:54,785 --> 00:22:55,752 Hi. 377 00:22:55,852 --> 00:22:57,080 Don't worry. Nothing broke. 378 00:22:57,187 --> 00:23:01,283 Hey. Baby, come on. What are you doing leaving me in the goddamn car? 379 00:23:01,391 --> 00:23:02,949 Shake that tail, baby. Come on. Let's get a move on. 380 00:23:03,060 --> 00:23:06,826 Hold your horses. Try acting civilized. - Audrey! 381 00:23:06,897 --> 00:23:08,228 This is Tom, the guy that I was telling you about from the office. 382 00:23:08,298 --> 00:23:10,232 Oh, the coffee dude. 383 00:23:10,300 --> 00:23:13,064 You got some black ass karma headed your way, superfreak. 384 00:23:13,136 --> 00:23:16,071 Oh, we don't need no lecture from you, Mr. High and Mighty. 385 00:23:16,139 --> 00:23:19,404 Hey, shut that sass-trap of yours, little lady, before I bounce you off the wall! 386 00:23:19,476 --> 00:23:23,776 Look, I would appreciate it if you would take this outside, please. 387 00:23:23,847 --> 00:23:28,648 Hey, I'd appreciate it if you'd go and buy yourself a bagel, Jewy. 388 00:23:28,752 --> 00:23:31,414 Jewy? I'm not Jewish. And I don't think that making fun of the... 389 00:23:31,521 --> 00:23:34,820 Don't pay attention to him. He's nuts. - I'm nuts? 390 00:23:34,891 --> 00:23:37,382 Who do you think you are? - Look, can we please take this outside? 391 00:23:37,494 --> 00:23:38,927 Oh, come on. 392 00:23:38,995 --> 00:23:41,691 You know what you are? You're a filthy, little tramp. 393 00:23:41,765 --> 00:23:43,232 Me? What about you and that waitress? 394 00:23:43,300 --> 00:23:45,359 Keep going. - I never touched her ever. 395 00:23:45,435 --> 00:23:47,300 Swear? - So help me God. 396 00:23:47,371 --> 00:23:48,804 You swear on your mama's life? 397 00:23:48,872 --> 00:23:50,840 Hell, woman, I ain't gonna swear on my mama's life. 398 00:23:50,907 --> 00:23:53,740 Why not? If you're telling the truth. - I think he's telling the truth, Audrey. 399 00:23:53,810 --> 00:23:55,175 Then why won't you swear on your mama's life? 400 00:23:55,245 --> 00:23:57,941 Well, because I don't feel like I have the right 401 00:23:58,014 --> 00:23:59,504 to gamble with my mama's life, that's why. 402 00:23:59,583 --> 00:24:01,915 Gamble? But apparently you got nothing to worry about 403 00:24:02,018 --> 00:24:03,679 unless you're Iying like a hunk of morgue meat. 404 00:24:03,787 --> 00:24:08,224 Hey, I ain't gonna sit here and get called a liar by no skankin' whore! 405 00:24:08,291 --> 00:24:11,590 Who you calling a whore, you shrimp-dick bastard?! 406 00:24:11,661 --> 00:24:12,753 Audrey, see now you're just provoking him. 407 00:24:12,829 --> 00:24:14,228 That's a vicious, flat-out, bold-faced lie and you know it! 408 00:24:14,297 --> 00:24:17,528 Is it? Is it? I don't think so! - I'll whip it out right now! 409 00:24:17,601 --> 00:24:18,863 No, no, no. I don't wanna see it. - I'm gonna whip it out right now 410 00:24:18,935 --> 00:24:21,563 and prove to you that she's a Iying slut! 411 00:24:21,638 --> 00:24:23,469 Keep your meat in the fridge! - You wanna see my piece? 412 00:24:23,540 --> 00:24:25,872 All right. All right! That is enough! - Go get me a ruler, Tom! You go get... 413 00:24:25,942 --> 00:24:29,434 That is it. I don't care if you have a tiny shrimp dick! 414 00:24:31,181 --> 00:24:35,584 Or a giant whale dick, which that's... - Goddamn it, Audrey! 415 00:24:35,685 --> 00:24:38,620 You tell him you're a liar or I'm gonna smash your face in, I swear! 416 00:24:38,688 --> 00:24:43,853 Wait a minute! You put that down! - All right. Can we please just use fists? 417 00:24:43,927 --> 00:24:46,828 Come here, you little... - You hit me, you bastard! 418 00:24:46,897 --> 00:24:49,457 I did not and you know it! - He hit me! 419 00:24:49,533 --> 00:24:51,592 He hit me as sure as I'm standing right here! 420 00:24:51,668 --> 00:24:53,295 Did you hit her, Spike? - Yes. 421 00:24:53,370 --> 00:24:55,201 With an open hand. It was with an open hand. 422 00:24:55,272 --> 00:24:56,637 So what if it's open? - You can't... 423 00:24:56,706 --> 00:24:58,173 Then it don't count. - Says who? 424 00:24:58,241 --> 00:25:01,142 Says anyone. Ask the Jew. 425 00:25:01,211 --> 00:25:03,611 All right, that's it. You two have got to leave. 426 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,205 All right, that's fine. But she is not coming with me. 427 00:25:06,283 --> 00:25:07,648 You are not welcome in the double ride. 428 00:25:07,717 --> 00:25:11,153 Fine, I don't care. I don't need your lousy trailer. I'll stay right here with Tom. 429 00:25:11,221 --> 00:25:12,813 Fine. Stay with Tom. - I'll stay right here. 430 00:25:12,923 --> 00:25:18,589 Wait a minute. Whoa. Guys, you need to try to work this thing out. 431 00:25:18,662 --> 00:25:22,359 He hit me! He knocked me on my can! - I know. I know. 432 00:25:22,432 --> 00:25:27,028 Well, but it was with an open hand after all, and... 433 00:25:27,103 --> 00:25:30,630 Relationships have their ups and downs, you guys, 434 00:25:30,707 --> 00:25:32,538 and you don't want to ruin this great... 435 00:25:37,681 --> 00:25:41,014 Oh, God. The bird. OJ! 436 00:25:43,420 --> 00:25:45,388 Oh, my God. 437 00:25:55,165 --> 00:25:59,761 You come back here or Tom's gonna kick your butt! So take that! 438 00:25:59,836 --> 00:26:02,828 Ooh, I'm shaking in my boots, baby! 439 00:26:02,906 --> 00:26:05,340 Look at those two, OJ. 440 00:26:08,178 --> 00:26:13,639 Oh, I ain't running away, dummy! 441 00:26:13,717 --> 00:26:15,912 Hello? - Hi, Tom. How are ya? 442 00:26:16,019 --> 00:26:19,887 Hey. Lisa, I'm great. I'm great. 443 00:26:20,757 --> 00:26:22,486 Is that OJ? - Yeah, yeah. 444 00:26:22,559 --> 00:26:26,188 We just had a little drink of water. - I haven't heard him squawk in years. 445 00:26:26,263 --> 00:26:30,256 Oh, yeah. He's quite the crazy bird, you know. 446 00:26:30,333 --> 00:26:32,801 Yeah. Anyway, Tom, I just wanted you to know 447 00:26:32,869 --> 00:26:35,997 how much I appreciate you helping me out tonight. 448 00:26:36,072 --> 00:26:39,337 But I'd like to crash at a friend's place tonight after the party. 449 00:26:39,409 --> 00:26:42,640 Would you think it was horrible if I asked you to stay the whole night tonight? 450 00:26:42,712 --> 00:26:48,207 Oh, well... I-I don't think your dad would want me staying here. 451 00:26:48,318 --> 00:26:52,118 Please? - Yeah. I suppose I could stay. 452 00:26:52,188 --> 00:26:54,748 Thanks, Tom. I really appreciate it. See you tomorrow. 453 00:26:54,858 --> 00:26:58,055 I ain't afraid of you and Tom sure as hell ain't scared neither! 454 00:26:58,128 --> 00:27:02,121 Butthead! Loser! 455 00:27:04,367 --> 00:27:08,929 Oh, my God. Thank God he's gone. Hey, so is it OK if I stay here tonight? 456 00:27:09,005 --> 00:27:12,805 Oh, man, it's... it's not even my house. 457 00:27:12,876 --> 00:27:14,810 Oh, yeah. 458 00:27:14,878 --> 00:27:17,244 OK. Well, I sure as hell don't want any charity. 459 00:27:17,314 --> 00:27:21,683 I mean, it's not like you owe me anything, so... 460 00:27:22,485 --> 00:27:23,975 And I'm sorry about that whole office thing. 461 00:27:24,087 --> 00:27:25,486 I know that you didn't mean to get me fired. 462 00:27:25,555 --> 00:27:30,424 Yeah. You didn't deserve to get fired. - Thanks. 463 00:27:30,493 --> 00:27:32,518 OK. 464 00:27:32,596 --> 00:27:36,726 Well, I guess I'll just go try to find a homeless shelter then. 465 00:27:40,203 --> 00:27:42,194 Wait a second. - Yeah? 466 00:27:42,272 --> 00:27:44,137 God. 467 00:27:44,207 --> 00:27:49,839 Look, I suppose you can stay. - Really? Oh! Thanks, Tom. 468 00:27:49,913 --> 00:27:51,938 You're the best. Oh, and I'll clean up the kitchen, OK? 469 00:27:52,015 --> 00:27:55,007 OK. - OK. OK. 470 00:28:09,933 --> 00:28:12,163 Yeah. One second. 471 00:28:12,235 --> 00:28:14,965 There's somebody at the door. 472 00:28:16,606 --> 00:28:18,733 Hi. Uh, can I help you? 473 00:28:18,808 --> 00:28:22,005 Vasquez sent me here to pick up a package. 474 00:28:22,078 --> 00:28:25,639 Oh, you're the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Red told me you might be stopping by. 475 00:28:25,715 --> 00:28:27,410 Uh... Oh, hi. I'm Tom. 476 00:28:27,484 --> 00:28:30,453 What is this, Oprah? Just give me the goddamn package. 477 00:28:30,553 --> 00:28:34,353 Oh, OK. Yeah. Um... 478 00:28:35,091 --> 00:28:37,582 I think this is it. 479 00:28:37,694 --> 00:28:40,492 If this ain't kosher, I'm gonna break his thumbs. 480 00:28:40,563 --> 00:28:44,522 Oh, well, by law, it should be stamped right on the package there. 481 00:28:46,136 --> 00:28:50,004 What... 482 00:28:54,344 --> 00:28:58,110 Oh. Dinnertime, buddy. 483 00:29:00,517 --> 00:29:06,717 OJ... today's specials include a scrumptious buffet of mice kebabs. 484 00:29:06,823 --> 00:29:10,190 Aah! Shit! Ah... crap! 485 00:29:13,563 --> 00:29:15,326 You son of a bitch. 486 00:29:20,203 --> 00:29:23,172 I got you now, buddy. 487 00:29:33,249 --> 00:29:36,047 Dude, that was cool. - Oh, my God. 488 00:29:36,953 --> 00:29:40,582 Tommy, easy on the antiques. 489 00:29:40,690 --> 00:29:44,387 Was that an owl? - Yes. OJ got out. How is he flying? 490 00:29:44,461 --> 00:29:47,794 Well, he is a bird. - He... no, Jack said that he... 491 00:29:47,864 --> 00:29:49,889 Aw, shit! I gotta find him. 492 00:29:49,966 --> 00:29:53,663 Don't worry. He'll probably come back when he's hungry. 493 00:29:53,737 --> 00:29:57,434 No, I have to find him or I'm gonna lose my job! You know what? 494 00:29:57,507 --> 00:30:00,567 This isn't gonna help your chances of getting your job back either. 495 00:30:00,643 --> 00:30:02,042 OK. 496 00:30:02,112 --> 00:30:05,639 Where the hell is he? - Tom, relax. 497 00:30:05,715 --> 00:30:08,206 Relax? OJ's loose! 498 00:30:08,284 --> 00:30:12,914 This is no time to relax! - Tom! He's right over here! 499 00:30:13,590 --> 00:30:15,581 Right there, right there, right there! - OJ! 500 00:30:15,692 --> 00:30:17,887 Right there! - OJ! 501 00:30:17,961 --> 00:30:22,125 Stop! No, no. Stop. Stop. 502 00:30:22,198 --> 00:30:25,361 OJ. OJ... 503 00:30:25,435 --> 00:30:29,701 Get up. What the hell you doing on my property? Planning to rob me? 504 00:30:29,773 --> 00:30:32,264 No. I-I was just looking for... 505 00:30:32,342 --> 00:30:36,779 Yeah, yeah. I see what you're looking for. You got a thing for young girls, eh? 506 00:30:36,846 --> 00:30:38,040 No. 507 00:30:38,114 --> 00:30:40,605 Then why do you keep eyeing my wife, you perv? 508 00:30:40,683 --> 00:30:43,083 Your... no, I wasn't looking. I... 509 00:30:43,186 --> 00:30:46,155 Arthur, are you gonna be back soon? I need you to spot me. 510 00:30:46,222 --> 00:30:48,019 Just give me a minute, honey. 511 00:30:48,091 --> 00:30:50,423 Oh... Please don't kill me. - I'm not gonna kill you, OK. 512 00:30:50,493 --> 00:30:54,725 If you let me live, I'll give you my most valued possession. Here, take it. 513 00:30:54,798 --> 00:30:56,288 You know what that is, don't you? 514 00:30:56,366 --> 00:30:59,301 Evander Holyfield's ear. - What? 515 00:30:59,369 --> 00:31:02,896 The part of the ear that Mike Tyson bit off and spit out. 516 00:31:02,972 --> 00:31:04,963 But it's white. - So? 517 00:31:05,041 --> 00:31:09,774 So, shouldn't it be black? - Well, if it's still on his head, sure. 518 00:31:09,846 --> 00:31:13,213 But anybody knows that a severed ear loses its color. 519 00:31:13,283 --> 00:31:14,944 No. - Sheryl? 520 00:31:15,051 --> 00:31:17,178 Yeah? - What happens to an ear 521 00:31:17,287 --> 00:31:21,519 if it's severed from your head? - It changes color. Duh. 522 00:31:21,591 --> 00:31:24,355 Ow! Damn! 523 00:31:24,427 --> 00:31:26,725 Tina, give me a beer. 524 00:31:26,796 --> 00:31:28,696 Oops. - You have got to be kidding me. 525 00:31:28,765 --> 00:31:31,233 Try another one. - Come on, you guys! 526 00:31:31,301 --> 00:31:33,531 Party! 527 00:31:33,603 --> 00:31:36,629 Come on, let's go! - Audrey... 528 00:31:36,706 --> 00:31:39,470 What the hell is going on in here? - Heads up. 529 00:31:39,542 --> 00:31:40,531 Who are these people? 530 00:31:40,610 --> 00:31:43,374 I invited some friends over to help us look for the owl. 531 00:31:43,446 --> 00:31:45,175 And Darryl even fixed the table in the hall. 532 00:31:45,248 --> 00:31:47,148 Thank you. - He won't even know it was broken. 533 00:31:47,217 --> 00:31:49,447 Air ball. 534 00:31:49,552 --> 00:31:52,487 We'll get that later. Everyone, this is Tom. 535 00:31:52,555 --> 00:31:54,352 Yo, Tom. - Hi, guys. 536 00:31:54,424 --> 00:31:55,823 You guys, Tom's a real good guy and his nuts are gonna just... 537 00:31:55,892 --> 00:31:58,224 Audrey, could you... 538 00:31:59,796 --> 00:32:04,199 What? - Listen, I appreciate all your help. 539 00:32:04,267 --> 00:32:07,759 But could you make sure that your friends stay out of the house? 540 00:32:07,837 --> 00:32:11,637 All of them or just the colored guy? - No, all of them. 541 00:32:12,275 --> 00:32:15,870 Ooh, that's smart. That way the colored guy won't take it personal. 542 00:32:15,945 --> 00:32:19,073 I have nothing against... Look. - What? 543 00:32:19,148 --> 00:32:20,581 I am responsible for this house 544 00:32:20,650 --> 00:32:23,380 and I can't have all of these people hanging around. 545 00:32:23,486 --> 00:32:26,978 OK, all right. I got it. You guys, let's move it out. 546 00:32:27,090 --> 00:32:29,718 Aw, I was just getting started. - Good idea. 547 00:32:29,792 --> 00:32:32,158 Thanks, guys. That's great. 548 00:32:32,228 --> 00:32:35,823 What about the cake? - Don't worry, they're all good people. 549 00:32:35,899 --> 00:32:38,595 They're not gonna steal nothing or drink too much like the Indians. 550 00:32:38,668 --> 00:32:42,365 Look... just make sure they stay outside. 551 00:32:42,438 --> 00:32:44,963 OK? - OK. 552 00:32:51,748 --> 00:32:53,511 Lisa? - Hi, Tom. 553 00:32:53,583 --> 00:32:56,746 Uh, you're home? Why are you home? 554 00:32:56,853 --> 00:32:59,879 It's not worth going into. I got in a huge fight with Hans. 555 00:32:59,989 --> 00:33:05,359 Oh. So... it's over? 556 00:33:06,396 --> 00:33:08,660 It's my own fault for dating a guy my dad likes. 557 00:33:08,731 --> 00:33:09,720 Really? 558 00:33:09,799 --> 00:33:12,563 Yeah, he's one of his top marketing execs. You know, Harvard Law. 559 00:33:12,635 --> 00:33:16,401 Comes from a good family, top of the tennis letter at the country club. 560 00:33:16,472 --> 00:33:20,306 Tom, can I talk to you for a second? - Audrey? 561 00:33:20,376 --> 00:33:23,539 Yeah. She came to, uh, talk to your dad. 562 00:33:24,614 --> 00:33:28,414 OK. I'm gonna go in my room. You could stay if you want. 563 00:33:28,484 --> 00:33:30,452 OK. 564 00:33:30,553 --> 00:33:33,215 Tom? - Audrey, I'll be right there, OK? 565 00:33:33,323 --> 00:33:34,915 OK. 566 00:33:35,024 --> 00:33:39,552 Or you could go. - You know, maybe we could talk... 567 00:33:40,830 --> 00:33:42,422 ...later. 568 00:33:42,498 --> 00:33:45,729 Here. How about this one? 569 00:33:45,802 --> 00:33:48,362 What's going on? - We found the owl! 570 00:33:48,438 --> 00:33:51,737 Where is he? - Uh, well, he got away. 571 00:33:51,808 --> 00:33:54,368 Where'd he go? - He hopped somewhere in the bushes. 572 00:33:54,444 --> 00:33:56,605 That's right. - What are you doing? 573 00:33:56,679 --> 00:34:00,080 Getting hamburger meat. That's a good way to lure birds. 574 00:34:00,149 --> 00:34:03,744 They like hamburger meat? - I don't know. I've never had a bird. 575 00:34:03,853 --> 00:34:06,378 But most animals respond to meat. - It's a fact. 576 00:34:06,489 --> 00:34:09,287 Wanna help me separate the meat? 577 00:34:09,993 --> 00:34:12,188 Speed, tell Tom about the Kennedy assassination. 578 00:34:12,261 --> 00:34:14,991 This is so cool, Tom, 'cause Speed knows who killed JFK. 579 00:34:15,064 --> 00:34:17,430 No, ask him! Tom, ask him. 580 00:34:17,500 --> 00:34:20,298 Ask him who killed him. - All right. All right. 581 00:34:20,370 --> 00:34:26,138 Who killed JFK? - Desi Arnaz. 582 00:34:27,877 --> 00:34:32,405 Oh. - His life just changed. 583 00:34:46,062 --> 00:34:47,086 Oh. 584 00:34:51,768 --> 00:34:55,465 Oh, God. Oh... oh... oh... 585 00:34:56,572 --> 00:34:59,507 Tom! - Shit. Lisa. 586 00:35:00,743 --> 00:35:03,735 Uh, what are you doing in here? - This is my closet. 587 00:35:03,813 --> 00:35:08,546 Oh. Oh... uh, I had something in my pants. 588 00:35:09,185 --> 00:35:16,091 Um, I was feeding the mouse to the bird and he, uh, ran down my pants. 589 00:35:16,793 --> 00:35:18,556 I'm sorry that, uh... 590 00:35:18,628 --> 00:35:21,062 Oh, look! There it is! That way! The bedroom. 591 00:35:23,232 --> 00:35:25,564 Whoa. Watch out! - Aah! 592 00:35:25,635 --> 00:35:29,594 Oh, my gosh. Are you OK? - Yep. Yep, I'm good. 593 00:35:29,672 --> 00:35:31,663 Don't worry, we'll get it later. 594 00:35:33,576 --> 00:35:35,441 Oh, here. Let me help you. 595 00:35:35,511 --> 00:35:38,969 You know, I'm really glad you stayed. I needed a good laugh tonight. 596 00:35:39,048 --> 00:35:42,142 Thanks. Wow. Yeah, could I make a bigger ass out of myself? 597 00:35:42,251 --> 00:35:47,382 Do you want some wine? - Uh, no, thanks. 598 00:35:47,490 --> 00:35:48,479 Yeah, sure. 599 00:35:48,591 --> 00:35:50,559 Cheers. - Cheers. 600 00:35:52,962 --> 00:35:55,931 Oh, my God. Is that signed by Walter Payton? 601 00:35:55,998 --> 00:36:00,128 Yeah. 'Sweetness', '85 Bears. Only the greatest team ever to play the game. 602 00:36:00,203 --> 00:36:04,572 Shut up. Walter Payton, Jim McMahon, Mike Singletary. 603 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,870 You know what? You may be the coolest girl ever. 604 00:36:06,943 --> 00:36:09,070 You like football? - Yeah, I love it. 605 00:36:09,145 --> 00:36:11,079 I didn't know you guys liked football. 606 00:36:11,147 --> 00:36:13,945 Yeah. No, me and Paul watch the game every Sunday. 607 00:36:14,016 --> 00:36:15,916 Paul, too? - Yeah. 608 00:36:18,888 --> 00:36:21,288 Oh, what's that? 609 00:36:21,357 --> 00:36:24,588 Oh, it's nothing. It's just something I used to do. 610 00:36:24,660 --> 00:36:28,562 That is really good. I didn't know you were an artist. 611 00:36:28,631 --> 00:36:32,260 I used to be, but I couldn't get any more of my friends to pose nude for me. 612 00:36:32,335 --> 00:36:36,362 You wouldn't be interested, would you? - Uh... 613 00:36:36,439 --> 00:36:39,931 You're blushing. I was just joking. 614 00:36:40,009 --> 00:36:44,173 I'm not blushing. I just-I just get red from time to time. 615 00:36:45,781 --> 00:36:47,112 You are so funny. 616 00:36:47,183 --> 00:36:50,641 No, seriously, you should really pursue this. I mean, you're good. 617 00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:54,622 I would, but it doesn't really fit in with my father's plan for me. 618 00:36:54,690 --> 00:36:58,126 Future of Midnight Owl Publishing. 619 00:36:58,194 --> 00:37:00,788 Oh, look! There it is. 620 00:37:00,863 --> 00:37:03,923 He's right there. Through the door. - We'll get him. We'll get him. 621 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,332 Whoa! Watch out! 622 00:37:06,402 --> 00:37:08,029 Are you OK? - Your dad's gonna kill me. 623 00:37:08,104 --> 00:37:11,073 No, don't worry about it. It's my brother's. My dad won't care. 624 00:37:11,140 --> 00:37:12,368 Oh, Red. 625 00:37:12,441 --> 00:37:14,409 Oh, so Dad told you? - About what? 626 00:37:14,477 --> 00:37:17,173 The restraining order. - How's that? 627 00:37:17,246 --> 00:37:20,579 Yeah, Red's not allowed within 100 yards of me, my dad, or this house. 628 00:37:20,650 --> 00:37:22,675 He... uh, he didn't-he didn't mention that. 629 00:37:22,785 --> 00:37:26,221 Red's a freak. You don't want to be around my dad if he finds out 630 00:37:26,322 --> 00:37:28,756 anyone was in this house, especially Red. 631 00:37:28,824 --> 00:37:30,451 It's like wherever he is, there's trouble. 632 00:37:30,526 --> 00:37:32,687 I mean, one time, he had this big party 'cause Dad was out of town 633 00:37:32,762 --> 00:37:34,059 and my dad came home early... 634 00:37:34,130 --> 00:37:38,260 Hey, uh... you know, since the mouse is gone, what say we, uh, go back inside? 635 00:37:38,334 --> 00:37:40,495 OK. 636 00:38:07,396 --> 00:38:11,025 It was up for an Oscar? I hated it! - I know! 637 00:38:11,100 --> 00:38:15,366 Oh, I hated that movie! Man, I can't believe you. 638 00:38:15,438 --> 00:38:19,169 You're like... you're so different from how you are at work. 639 00:38:19,242 --> 00:38:23,269 What am I gonna do? Like, walk around with my Walter Payton jersey? 640 00:38:23,346 --> 00:38:27,476 No, no. I get it. It's, like, at work you have to be Lisa Taylor: 641 00:38:27,550 --> 00:38:31,213 the, you know, loyal employee to the family firm. 642 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:32,719 And I have to be... Tom... 643 00:38:32,788 --> 00:38:37,487 Tom Stansfield: the guy who will do anything for anybody. 644 00:38:39,061 --> 00:38:41,052 Yup. That's me. 645 00:38:42,865 --> 00:38:45,857 I swear, it's like I can just talk to you about anything. 646 00:38:45,935 --> 00:38:48,597 I know, exactly. It's... 647 00:38:48,671 --> 00:38:52,232 Yeah, this is crazy. - Yeah, it is. 648 00:38:53,376 --> 00:38:58,211 I guess it's because there's no attraction between us, you know? 649 00:38:59,415 --> 00:39:02,179 You know, there's none of that sexual tension. 650 00:39:02,285 --> 00:39:03,877 Yeah. - It's like I'm with a girlfriend. 651 00:39:03,986 --> 00:39:06,113 It's great, isn't it? - Yeah. 652 00:39:06,222 --> 00:39:08,452 I mean, maybe we could go to the mall sometime and go shopping. 653 00:39:08,524 --> 00:39:10,549 That would be fun! Wouldn't it be fun? - Yeah. 654 00:39:10,660 --> 00:39:12,628 Wait, you have to listen to this song. 655 00:39:12,728 --> 00:39:14,855 Come on, I need someone to dance with! 656 00:39:14,930 --> 00:39:17,330 You don't want to see me dance. 657 00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,733 Come on, dance with me. - I have no idea what I'm doing. 658 00:39:20,803 --> 00:39:24,569 Come on. Put your hands together. Yeah! Now go underneath. 659 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,608 What... like this? - Yeah! 660 00:39:26,676 --> 00:39:29,907 Like that? - Yeah! 661 00:39:29,979 --> 00:39:33,415 Hold on, hold on. Watch, watch, watch. 662 00:39:35,184 --> 00:39:38,449 Yeah! Oh... - I'm trying to do too much. 663 00:39:41,891 --> 00:39:44,621 I'm a dancer. 664 00:39:44,694 --> 00:39:45,922 Catch me. - Oh... what? 665 00:39:49,665 --> 00:39:51,360 I got you! - Whoa! 666 00:39:54,170 --> 00:39:57,571 OK. I am doomed. 667 00:39:58,541 --> 00:40:00,532 Here. 668 00:40:03,446 --> 00:40:05,812 Oh, I love this song. 669 00:40:05,881 --> 00:40:08,714 My friend Jenny does this really wild strip routine 670 00:40:08,784 --> 00:40:14,245 for her boyfriend to this song. It's super sexy. Even you'd appreciate it. 671 00:40:14,357 --> 00:40:19,556 I wish I could be like her, you know? She's so free and everything. 672 00:41:13,582 --> 00:41:15,607 So, what do you think? 673 00:41:15,684 --> 00:41:20,644 Ah, it's... it's, uh, very nice. 674 00:41:20,756 --> 00:41:24,214 So if you weren't gay, this would turn you on, right? 675 00:41:25,127 --> 00:41:30,793 Gay? Who said I was gay? - My father. You mean it's not true? 676 00:41:30,866 --> 00:41:33,699 No! - No? God, I'm so embarrassed! 677 00:41:33,769 --> 00:41:37,466 I can't believe you'd let me do this! - I didn't mean to... I mean, um... 678 00:41:37,540 --> 00:41:39,872 Why would your father say that I'm gay? 679 00:41:39,942 --> 00:41:44,504 I don't know. Well, you can't blame him entirely. I mean, you are a little feminine. 680 00:41:44,580 --> 00:41:47,276 Don't be hurt. 681 00:41:48,651 --> 00:41:50,846 It's OK. 682 00:41:50,953 --> 00:41:53,649 Hans is a bit of feminine, too. 683 00:41:53,756 --> 00:41:57,351 What exactly did Hans do anyway? 684 00:41:58,227 --> 00:42:01,253 Well, it's not like he did just one thing. 685 00:42:04,333 --> 00:42:06,597 It's more about trust. 686 00:42:06,669 --> 00:42:10,435 Yeah. Trust is... it's important. 687 00:42:11,106 --> 00:42:13,836 Trust is everything. 688 00:42:13,909 --> 00:42:18,642 I don't know. Maybe it's me. It's like I'm just sending out some kind of vibe. 689 00:42:18,714 --> 00:42:21,182 I can't attract a decent guy. - No. 690 00:42:21,250 --> 00:42:23,411 What's wrong with me? - Don't even worry about it. 691 00:42:23,519 --> 00:42:26,579 You're gonna find another guy so fast. 692 00:42:27,623 --> 00:42:32,219 I mean, look at you. You're amazing. 693 00:42:33,696 --> 00:42:37,996 You really think so? - Why do you think I'm here tonight? 694 00:42:39,602 --> 00:42:42,867 Oh, God, Tom. 695 00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:47,734 You didn't know. You thought that... 696 00:42:59,388 --> 00:43:04,018 Uh... uh... I'm gonna... I'll be right back. 697 00:43:04,093 --> 00:43:08,655 I'm just gonna go and check and see if Audrey needs towels. 698 00:43:08,731 --> 00:43:11,393 Tom, you don't have to lie to me. 699 00:43:11,467 --> 00:43:15,164 If you have to go to the bathroom, go take a crap and come back. 700 00:43:26,248 --> 00:43:29,775 What the... hey! What the hell are you doing here, man? 701 00:43:33,822 --> 00:43:37,986 You try to bone Vasquez out of 20 grand and you ask me what I'm doing? 702 00:43:38,060 --> 00:43:42,224 You think I work for Mrs. Fields? You think my boss likes to bake cookies? 703 00:43:42,998 --> 00:43:46,161 Whoa! What are you doing? Come on. - You tried to sell me flour. 704 00:43:46,235 --> 00:43:50,171 Flour? I-I don't even know what you're talk... What are you... Come on! 705 00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:52,503 Look, I'm just housesitting for my boss. 706 00:43:52,575 --> 00:43:55,669 Who's your boss? - Jack Taylor. 707 00:43:55,744 --> 00:44:01,011 Jack Taylor, huh? I did time in Joliet with a Jack Taylor. 708 00:44:01,083 --> 00:44:06,043 Average height, medium hair, horrible case of folliculitis on his ass? 709 00:44:06,121 --> 00:44:09,613 I wouldn't know about the folliculitis. - I thought you said he was your boss. 710 00:44:09,725 --> 00:44:12,785 He is. - And you never saw his ass? 711 00:44:12,861 --> 00:44:15,659 Why would I see my boss's ass? - It stands to reason. 712 00:44:15,731 --> 00:44:19,098 You work for a guy long enough, sooner or later, 713 00:44:19,168 --> 00:44:22,069 you're gonna get a glimpse of his ass. 714 00:44:23,739 --> 00:44:25,730 Listen, I-I don't know what line of work you're in, 715 00:44:25,808 --> 00:44:28,902 but I've never seen my boss's ass. 716 00:44:28,944 --> 00:44:31,742 Hey, man... 717 00:44:31,814 --> 00:44:34,544 Hey! Hey, stop it or I'm gonna call the cops! 718 00:44:34,617 --> 00:44:38,246 And tell them what? Your drug deal went bad? 719 00:44:38,354 --> 00:44:40,788 You rat me out, I'm gonna carve you up like a turkey 720 00:44:40,856 --> 00:44:43,552 and beat your kids with what's left of you. 721 00:44:43,626 --> 00:44:46,959 I don't have any kids. - I can wait. 722 00:44:56,171 --> 00:45:01,131 Excuse me. Hello? Right. OK. 723 00:45:02,478 --> 00:45:04,776 Tommy, let's get clear on something. 724 00:45:04,847 --> 00:45:08,647 In the next 60 minutes, I'm gonna bring Vasquez what he paid for 725 00:45:08,717 --> 00:45:11,447 or your gift-wrapped nuts. 726 00:45:18,027 --> 00:45:20,188 Oh, hi, Tom. What's going on? - Yeah. That's what I wanna know. 727 00:45:20,262 --> 00:45:23,561 What's going on with your dad's gift? See... Do you see that guy? 728 00:45:23,632 --> 00:45:25,190 He was gonna kill me! 729 00:45:25,267 --> 00:45:27,167 Don't you think you're overreacting a little, Tom? 730 00:45:27,236 --> 00:45:32,173 Overreacting? The guy had a knife! I don't think that I am overreacting! 731 00:45:32,241 --> 00:45:34,368 He probably just had the wrong address. 732 00:45:34,443 --> 00:45:38,709 I mean, there's gotta be over a dozen Jack Taylor's in Chicago alone. 733 00:45:38,781 --> 00:45:42,148 I'm gonna go to my dad's bedroom. You tell me if the guy shows up again. 734 00:45:42,217 --> 00:45:43,809 All right. All right. You listen to me. 735 00:45:43,919 --> 00:45:46,080 You're not even supposed to be in this house. 736 00:45:46,188 --> 00:45:47,155 Says who? 737 00:45:47,256 --> 00:45:49,986 I know about the restraining order, Red. 738 00:45:50,059 --> 00:45:54,723 Restraining-shmaining. I mean, that's just a big misunderstanding. 739 00:45:54,797 --> 00:45:56,424 Tom! It's OJ! 740 00:46:02,571 --> 00:46:07,167 Whoa. Hey. Who are you? - I'm here to see Lisa. My name's Hans. 741 00:46:09,378 --> 00:46:10,811 Is that so shocking? - No. 742 00:46:10,879 --> 00:46:12,540 What, you surprised she'd go out with someone like me? 743 00:46:12,614 --> 00:46:13,842 No, no. It's not... 744 00:46:13,916 --> 00:46:16,441 Give me a break, man. You oughta be ashamed of yourself. 745 00:46:16,552 --> 00:46:18,816 Let me tell you something. There are a lot of girls out there 746 00:46:18,921 --> 00:46:21,321 who can see past the fact that I just happen to be... 747 00:46:21,390 --> 00:46:22,857 a few pounds overweight. 748 00:46:22,925 --> 00:46:25,393 You know, inside I'm just like everyone else. 749 00:46:25,461 --> 00:46:28,555 Let me get you a tissue. - Thank you. 750 00:46:28,630 --> 00:46:30,723 I'm on the second day of a new diet. - Hey, uh, Hans... 751 00:46:30,799 --> 00:46:32,630 I gave up chocolate. - I'm really sorry. 752 00:46:32,701 --> 00:46:35,329 I think that, uh, we just got off on the wrong foot. 753 00:46:35,404 --> 00:46:40,808 Oh... uh... It's good to meet you, Hans. I'm Tom. 754 00:46:42,177 --> 00:46:44,941 I'm just a friend of Lisa's. 755 00:46:45,013 --> 00:46:48,107 Oh, great. Well, maybe you can help me. Is she here? Lisa! Lisa! 756 00:46:48,183 --> 00:46:49,775 Whoa. Hans, you know what? 757 00:46:49,885 --> 00:46:52,854 Maybe right now isn't a great time for you to see Lisa. 758 00:46:52,921 --> 00:46:54,980 What say, uh, we get you a drink? 759 00:46:55,090 --> 00:46:57,957 Oh, OK. Yeah, she's probably really upset. 760 00:46:58,026 --> 00:47:02,520 You see, we got in a misunderstanding tonight and, well, she left me. 761 00:47:02,598 --> 00:47:04,691 Wow, that's unfortunate. - Yeah. 762 00:47:04,767 --> 00:47:06,598 Uh, what happened? 763 00:47:06,668 --> 00:47:10,900 Well, I think seeing me naked from behind like that kind of shocked her. 764 00:47:10,973 --> 00:47:14,909 Oh. So, tonight was the first time. 765 00:47:14,977 --> 00:47:17,741 Yeah. Tonight was the first time. It was awesome. 766 00:47:17,813 --> 00:47:20,976 I mean, I was Iying up on the bed like this with one leg straight up in the air. 767 00:47:21,049 --> 00:47:22,914 I don't think I really need to see... - And I had a handful of ass right here... 768 00:47:23,018 --> 00:47:23,985 Whoa. ...and I had a handful of this. 769 00:47:24,086 --> 00:47:27,681 Hans, please. Whoa. God, you're... that's... 770 00:47:28,323 --> 00:47:32,259 And that's when Lisa walked in. - What? 771 00:47:32,361 --> 00:47:35,057 She caught me in the bed with a blonde. 772 00:47:35,130 --> 00:47:36,620 What? 773 00:47:36,698 --> 00:47:39,394 Aw, come on, man. Tell me you haven't ever wanted to do it with a... 774 00:47:39,468 --> 00:47:42,596 Hans. Hans. No... you cheated on her. 775 00:47:44,306 --> 00:47:47,400 You know something, Tom? You're right. 776 00:47:47,476 --> 00:47:52,243 Aw. I guess that was cheating. And now I've gone and lost everyone. 777 00:47:52,314 --> 00:47:54,908 I should have known from the start it wasn't right. 778 00:47:54,983 --> 00:47:57,474 She kept telling me I reminded her of her dad. 779 00:47:57,553 --> 00:48:00,545 Hans, you gotta realize that this is over, you know? 780 00:48:00,656 --> 00:48:04,217 And you gotta put an end to it, and-and move on. 781 00:48:04,326 --> 00:48:07,762 And get yourself to a better place, OK? - Yes. 782 00:48:07,830 --> 00:48:11,960 I think you know what I mean. - Yeah, I do know what you mean. 783 00:48:12,034 --> 00:48:16,095 And I'm ready. I know what I have to do. 784 00:48:20,409 --> 00:48:22,639 Well, I guess this is good-bye. 785 00:48:25,981 --> 00:48:30,042 OJ! 786 00:48:30,152 --> 00:48:31,881 Thanks, Tom. 787 00:48:31,987 --> 00:48:33,921 OJ, come back! 788 00:48:36,658 --> 00:48:38,683 OJ! 789 00:48:49,238 --> 00:48:52,799 Hello. You must be Julie's date. Come in. Come in. 790 00:48:52,875 --> 00:48:56,276 Actually I'm just here looking for a bird. 791 00:48:56,345 --> 00:48:59,803 Make yourself at home, Albert. Julie's still getting ready. 792 00:48:59,882 --> 00:49:03,079 No, actually, uh, my name is Tom. - I'm sorry. I'm hard of hearing. 793 00:49:03,185 --> 00:49:05,676 Could you speak up, please? - My name is Tom! 794 00:49:05,787 --> 00:49:08,187 I could've sworn Julie said your name was Albert. 795 00:49:08,257 --> 00:49:09,918 No, see, I'm afraid that you're mistaken. 796 00:49:09,992 --> 00:49:14,224 Is someone here? - Yes. This is Julie's date, Albert. 797 00:49:14,296 --> 00:49:15,923 Ah! Ah! - This is my nephew, George. 798 00:49:15,998 --> 00:49:20,230 He's blind and crippled. - Oh. Uh... nice to meet you. 799 00:49:20,302 --> 00:49:21,530 I'm not deaf. 800 00:49:21,603 --> 00:49:26,233 Excuse me. I'll go see what's keeping Julie. She's probably nervous. 801 00:49:26,308 --> 00:49:28,173 So you're Julie's date, huh? 802 00:49:28,243 --> 00:49:31,440 No. I'm just... I just came here. I was looking for an owl. 803 00:49:31,513 --> 00:49:35,381 You don't have to make lame excuses. 804 00:49:35,484 --> 00:49:39,181 Listen, do you know what the advantage is in being a cripple? 805 00:49:39,288 --> 00:49:41,119 No, I can't say that I do. 806 00:49:41,189 --> 00:49:43,487 You don't really care to hear much what I have to say, do you? 807 00:49:43,558 --> 00:49:46,288 No, no. It's not that. I'm... 808 00:49:47,329 --> 00:49:49,297 You know what? Go ahead, I'm listening. 809 00:49:49,364 --> 00:49:51,594 Sit down, Tom. 810 00:49:55,570 --> 00:49:58,061 You know what I gained by becoming a quad? 811 00:49:58,140 --> 00:50:00,165 What, are you shaking your head? I can't see, you know! 812 00:50:00,242 --> 00:50:05,077 I'm sorry. Uh... uh... Tell me what you gained. 813 00:50:05,147 --> 00:50:08,082 I no longer need my Viagra. 814 00:50:08,951 --> 00:50:12,478 Now I can maintain my arousal for hours. 815 00:50:12,587 --> 00:50:15,078 That's-that's great. I guess things have a way 816 00:50:15,190 --> 00:50:16,885 of evening themselves out in the long run, huh? 817 00:50:16,959 --> 00:50:19,393 No, not really. And do you know why? 818 00:50:19,461 --> 00:50:20,792 No, why? 819 00:50:20,862 --> 00:50:23,353 Because I am a blind, quad freak, you moron! 820 00:50:23,432 --> 00:50:25,400 What, you think women dig this?! 821 00:50:25,467 --> 00:50:26,695 I mean, you think women go... - Well, hello. 822 00:50:26,768 --> 00:50:28,736 ...'I wanna give that mutant freak my number'? 823 00:50:28,804 --> 00:50:32,035 Ken Morehouse. I'm Julie's dad. - Hey, nice to meet you. 824 00:50:32,107 --> 00:50:35,599 Is, uh, George boring you with his self-pitying tripe? 825 00:50:35,677 --> 00:50:38,009 Tripe... - No, not at all. 826 00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:41,311 'I'm blind. I'm crippled. Boohoo-hoo.' 827 00:50:41,383 --> 00:50:44,409 Leave the room. I wanna talk to Albert alone for a second. 828 00:50:44,519 --> 00:50:46,885 I can stay if I want. - Leave the room! 829 00:50:46,955 --> 00:50:48,149 OK, OK. - Get out! 830 00:50:48,256 --> 00:50:50,656 You don't have to be huffy about it! - Get out now! Get out! 831 00:50:50,726 --> 00:50:54,321 OK. - Turn it, turn it, turn it. 832 00:50:54,396 --> 00:50:57,365 Oh, for God's sakes. 833 00:50:57,432 --> 00:51:00,401 I'm so sorry. - Who the hell put that there? 834 00:51:01,536 --> 00:51:04,937 My daughter's gonna be a few minutes. Have a-Have a seat, Albert. 835 00:51:05,007 --> 00:51:06,702 Tom. - No. Ken. 836 00:51:06,775 --> 00:51:08,072 Right. You're Ken. - Yes. 837 00:51:08,143 --> 00:51:11,544 Before you say anything, Albert, I just want you to know that Julie 838 00:51:11,613 --> 00:51:16,141 is really self-conscious about her appearance since the... the accident. 839 00:51:16,251 --> 00:51:17,309 Right... 840 00:51:17,419 --> 00:51:21,879 Oh, Julie. - Julie, this is Albert. Albert, Julie. 841 00:51:21,990 --> 00:51:25,756 It's nice to meet you, Albert. - Wow. It's... wow. 842 00:51:25,827 --> 00:51:31,197 It's nice to meet you, too. But, the thing is, is that I'm not Albert. 843 00:51:32,968 --> 00:51:36,995 That is to say that I'm not your date. - Oh... 844 00:51:37,072 --> 00:51:40,041 There's been a giant misunderstanding. 845 00:51:40,108 --> 00:51:43,635 Oh, how could you? - I knew this would happen! 846 00:51:43,712 --> 00:51:45,976 No, I'm telling the truth. 847 00:51:46,048 --> 00:51:49,074 Julie wasn't pretty enough for you, Mr. GQ? Is that it? 848 00:51:49,184 --> 00:51:53,644 No, you don't understand. - Oh, I understand, Fabio. 849 00:51:53,755 --> 00:51:56,622 You broke that poor girl's heart. - No, no. See, I'm not... 850 00:51:56,691 --> 00:52:00,092 Do you think Julie is an idiot? Do you think she bought your little fairy tale 851 00:52:00,162 --> 00:52:02,722 Mr. I'm Too Sexy for my medical booties? 852 00:52:03,632 --> 00:52:06,192 Oh, th... - Get the hell out of here. 853 00:52:06,268 --> 00:52:10,864 Or I'll kick your pretty-boy ass to kingdom come. 854 00:52:10,939 --> 00:52:14,875 Am I interrupting something? - No, it's just that the... 855 00:52:19,381 --> 00:52:22,077 Tom, there's two things that we need to talk about. 856 00:52:22,150 --> 00:52:23,139 What? 857 00:52:23,251 --> 00:52:25,515 First of all, I don't wanna wear these booties anymore. 858 00:52:25,620 --> 00:52:28,555 No one else is wearing the booties. - Fine. 859 00:52:28,623 --> 00:52:32,354 What's the other thing? - Tina thinks she's got cancer. 860 00:52:34,296 --> 00:52:36,389 Do you feel it? - Uh, I'm just... 861 00:52:36,465 --> 00:52:40,834 What's supposed to be there? I don't... - See, Tina? 862 00:52:40,902 --> 00:52:44,065 Move your hand to the left. Now move it around. 863 00:52:46,408 --> 00:52:50,105 Don't you feel anything? - Yeah. I mean, no, no. 864 00:52:50,178 --> 00:52:51,941 No, it seems to be... Well... 865 00:52:52,013 --> 00:52:54,573 Tina, your breast is no different than mine, OK? 866 00:52:54,649 --> 00:52:59,746 It is. There's no comparison. - Tom, feel my breast and compare. 867 00:52:59,855 --> 00:53:02,653 Now, do you detect any difference between our breasts? 868 00:53:02,724 --> 00:53:05,818 Well... You gotta slow down a little. - It sure feels good. 869 00:53:05,894 --> 00:53:08,419 Well, yours is a... 870 00:53:08,497 --> 00:53:11,796 Lisa, this isn't what it looks like. - I believed everything you said. 871 00:53:12,334 --> 00:53:13,323 I'm... 872 00:53:13,401 --> 00:53:14,891 It was all just a bunch of lines, wasn't it? 873 00:53:14,970 --> 00:53:19,066 No, no. Lisa, it was all... I swear to you, I meant every word. 874 00:53:19,141 --> 00:53:20,608 This is... nothing's going on here. 875 00:53:20,675 --> 00:53:23,542 Great, Tom. I'm glad you think I'm a complete idiot. 876 00:53:23,612 --> 00:53:28,481 No, no. I'm telling you. I was just checking these girls for breast cancer. 877 00:53:29,050 --> 00:53:33,714 You make me sick. - No... Lisa, wait! 878 00:53:34,389 --> 00:53:37,119 She's never gonna forgive me. - Of course she will. 879 00:53:37,192 --> 00:53:38,352 Is this the first time you cheated on her? 880 00:53:38,426 --> 00:53:41,759 Yeah. No! I... yeah... wait. 881 00:53:41,830 --> 00:53:45,322 I didn't cheat on her. I mean, you were there for God's sakes! 882 00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:46,924 Look, I know that you didn't cheat on her. 883 00:53:47,002 --> 00:53:49,197 I mean, you were a little grabby, but... - I... 884 00:53:49,271 --> 00:53:50,829 Look, don't you think we should just find the owl 885 00:53:50,906 --> 00:53:52,771 and worry about your little 'affair' later? 886 00:53:52,841 --> 00:53:55,867 I... I am get... I'm getting angry and I don't get angry. 887 00:53:55,944 --> 00:53:57,434 Ugh! - Hey, Speed? 888 00:53:57,512 --> 00:53:59,673 Hey, can I ask you a question? 889 00:54:00,882 --> 00:54:05,319 What are you... I thought you left. - I did... to get this. 890 00:54:06,054 --> 00:54:09,785 All right. Why is the fire going? - Cozy, isn't it? 891 00:54:09,858 --> 00:54:13,794 All right. You put that down. - Make me. 892 00:54:15,063 --> 00:54:17,054 All right. 893 00:54:19,034 --> 00:54:23,232 Hey! Hey! Put the crowbar down! 894 00:54:23,305 --> 00:54:26,763 Or I will blow your ass to fucktown! 895 00:54:38,420 --> 00:54:41,321 That's right. 896 00:54:42,724 --> 00:54:45,716 Don't you ever threaten me. - But... I got a gun. 897 00:54:47,929 --> 00:54:51,558 What are you doing? - Well, Tommy, we both have guns. 898 00:54:51,633 --> 00:54:54,363 Only difference is, you don't have the guts to use yours. 899 00:54:54,436 --> 00:54:58,964 Oh, yeah? Well, what makes you so sure? 900 00:55:00,475 --> 00:55:02,500 Oh, I'm sure. 901 00:55:09,351 --> 00:55:15,620 Oh! Oh... Jesus! What the... What are you, out of your mind? 902 00:55:15,690 --> 00:55:19,456 Stop that! Are you crazy, man?! 903 00:55:21,429 --> 00:55:24,296 Hello? - Stansfield. Anything to report? 904 00:55:24,366 --> 00:55:28,029 Sir! Uh, everything's great. I got... everything's under control. 905 00:55:28,069 --> 00:55:30,003 Did OJ get enough water? - Whoa! 906 00:55:30,071 --> 00:55:32,437 Uh, OJ... What? Oh, yes. 907 00:55:32,507 --> 00:55:36,238 Uh, Jack, could you hold on? I'm gonna shoot your pecker off. 908 00:55:36,311 --> 00:55:38,905 I don't plan on being away the entire weekend. 909 00:55:38,980 --> 00:55:40,038 I hate you! I hate you! - It's possible I may be 910 00:55:40,115 --> 00:55:44,381 coming home early, so make sure that everything's in order. 911 00:55:44,486 --> 00:55:45,453 Jesus! 912 00:55:45,553 --> 00:55:47,316 Oh, something I forgot to tell you. 913 00:55:47,422 --> 00:55:50,391 Sir? - The fishtank. It's a little low. 914 00:55:50,492 --> 00:55:52,460 I'm taking care of that right now. - Good. 915 00:55:52,527 --> 00:55:55,223 When I get back, I want to talk to you about that position in Creative. 916 00:55:55,297 --> 00:55:57,322 Aah! - Don't get excited yet. 917 00:55:57,399 --> 00:55:59,299 I didn't say you had the job. We'll discuss it. 918 00:55:59,367 --> 00:56:02,598 Uh, thank you, sir. Uh, great. Bye. 919 00:56:04,506 --> 00:56:06,940 Holy shit! 920 00:56:10,245 --> 00:56:12,611 I just... 921 00:56:14,449 --> 00:56:18,613 Boy, I'm tapped out. You got anything to drink? 922 00:56:18,720 --> 00:56:22,679 In the kitchen. Thanks. 923 00:56:27,195 --> 00:56:28,628 Dammit! 924 00:56:28,697 --> 00:56:34,329 Whoa! What the hay happened in here? Tom, did you have a little accident? 925 00:56:34,402 --> 00:56:38,304 You might wanna try a few Kegels. Kinda tighten it up down there. 926 00:56:38,373 --> 00:56:43,970 That's it! - I'm doing'em right now. And release. 927 00:56:44,045 --> 00:56:47,879 Well, when in Rome... 928 00:56:47,949 --> 00:56:51,885 Oh, Canada 929 00:57:01,296 --> 00:57:06,029 'Jack Taylor. Rectacid. Apply liberally to buttocks as needed 930 00:57:06,101 --> 00:57:10,663 to reduce redness and other symptoms of folliculitis.' 931 00:57:14,209 --> 00:57:16,439 Son of a bitch. 932 00:57:16,511 --> 00:57:20,709 Did you piss yourself? - No, I did not piss myself. 933 00:57:20,782 --> 00:57:22,215 Looks like you did. - Well, I didn't. 934 00:57:22,283 --> 00:57:24,308 It was that maniac downstairs. 935 00:57:24,419 --> 00:57:27,081 We gotta stop him before he tears this house apart. 936 00:57:27,188 --> 00:57:30,180 You know what you gotta do? Give him one of these little babies. 937 00:57:30,291 --> 00:57:31,519 What's that? - It's a sleeping pill. 938 00:57:31,593 --> 00:57:35,393 I got'em from Speed. Here. So strong, so be careful. 939 00:57:35,463 --> 00:57:37,556 It's powerful stuff. - Here. Just one. 940 00:57:37,632 --> 00:57:41,159 Be careful. 941 00:57:44,739 --> 00:57:46,730 Hey. Excuse me. 942 00:57:46,808 --> 00:57:50,335 You know, I just wanted to apologize for pulling that gun on you earlier. 943 00:57:50,412 --> 00:57:53,870 That was totally out of line. 944 00:57:53,948 --> 00:57:56,382 Hey, you know, I don't even know your name. 945 00:57:56,484 --> 00:57:59,647 I'm TJ. - TJ? That's nice. 946 00:57:59,754 --> 00:58:05,317 I guess maybe I was out of line by pissing all over everything. 947 00:58:05,427 --> 00:58:10,023 Man... that was funny. 948 00:58:10,098 --> 00:58:14,694 Yeah, I've always enjoyed a good prank. What are you drinking there? 949 00:58:14,769 --> 00:58:17,033 Whiskey. You want some? 950 00:58:17,105 --> 00:58:18,572 There's plenty of booze around here, that's for sure. 951 00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:21,200 Yeah, I'll take a shot of bourbon. 952 00:58:21,276 --> 00:58:24,336 Oh, my God! Wow! - What? 953 00:58:24,412 --> 00:58:26,437 Whoa! Look at those two blondes going at... 954 00:58:26,514 --> 00:58:28,311 Oh, wait, are there three of them? - Where? 955 00:58:28,383 --> 00:58:31,284 They're going at it right up there on the second floor. 956 00:58:31,352 --> 00:58:37,154 Where are you looking? - Right th... uh... Oh, man, they left. 957 00:58:38,860 --> 00:58:43,058 Damn. I was all psyched up for some action. 958 00:58:43,131 --> 00:58:46,396 Lesbians are very special. 959 00:58:46,468 --> 00:58:49,869 Oh... Hey, I'll drink to that, huh? 960 00:58:51,072 --> 00:58:54,132 Cheers. - All right. 961 00:58:54,209 --> 00:58:56,541 Mmm. 962 00:58:58,012 --> 00:58:59,274 Oh, are you... 963 00:58:59,347 --> 00:59:02,009 Whoa. - Here. Why don't I... 964 00:59:18,166 --> 00:59:22,102 Audrey? 965 00:59:22,170 --> 00:59:25,503 Audrey! 966 00:59:25,573 --> 00:59:29,907 Oh, my God! He's like a human vibrator. 967 00:59:29,978 --> 00:59:32,242 What... All right, what is wrong with him? 968 00:59:32,313 --> 00:59:34,804 I don't know. Did you slip him the pill? - Yes. 969 00:59:34,883 --> 00:59:35,872 Then that must be it then. 970 00:59:35,984 --> 00:59:37,781 You didn't give him the pill with whiskey, did you? 971 00:59:37,886 --> 00:59:39,877 Yeah. - Oh, no! 972 00:59:39,988 --> 00:59:43,549 You're not supposed to mix the two. - Audrey, you did not tell me that! 973 00:59:43,658 --> 00:59:46,218 Everyone knows that you're not supposed to mix booze with pills! 974 00:59:46,294 --> 00:59:49,161 Come on! - OK. Is he gonna be OK? 975 00:59:49,230 --> 00:59:52,222 Don't worry. He'll be fine. I used to be a paramedic. 976 00:59:52,300 --> 00:59:56,066 Tom? I think I found OJ. - OJ? I don't care about... 977 00:59:56,137 --> 00:59:58,901 We have a situation here. Audrey, call 911! 978 00:59:58,973 --> 01:00:01,771 I'm telling ya, he'll be fine. - Are you sure? 979 01:00:01,843 --> 01:00:05,176 He just needs some rest. I'm positive. - OK. You watch TJ. Use this. 980 01:00:05,246 --> 01:00:07,942 It's not loaded, but he doesn't know that. 981 01:00:08,016 --> 01:00:09,574 Oh, man! 982 01:00:11,519 --> 01:00:14,249 Oh, hey. - Julie. 983 01:00:14,355 --> 01:00:16,653 From... yeah. - Down the block. That's right. 984 01:00:16,724 --> 01:00:17,713 You mind if I come in? 985 01:00:17,825 --> 01:00:19,019 All right. You grab his ankles... 986 01:00:19,093 --> 01:00:21,118 Why don't we go to that room over there? 987 01:00:21,195 --> 01:00:24,756 OK, yeah, I got this end. - Man, he's heavy. 988 01:00:24,832 --> 01:00:29,098 Do you mind if I sit down? 989 01:00:29,170 --> 01:00:33,334 Uh... yeah. Sure. - Thank you. 990 01:00:37,145 --> 01:00:40,512 Oh, hey. Sorry to butt in. Hi, I'm Red. 991 01:00:40,582 --> 01:00:42,948 Hi, it's nice to meet you. - Nice to meet ya. 992 01:00:43,051 --> 01:00:46,543 Anyway, I realized you were telling the truth when my real date showed up. 993 01:00:46,654 --> 01:00:51,114 Of course he didn't stick around. - Well, that guy is a bum. 994 01:00:51,225 --> 01:00:53,250 Well, I'm sure that had nothing to do with you. 995 01:00:53,361 --> 01:00:54,760 No, I know it did. 996 01:00:54,829 --> 01:00:58,595 I've never had any guys attracted to me, even before the accident. 997 01:00:58,666 --> 01:01:00,793 Now that cannot be true. 998 01:01:00,868 --> 01:01:04,269 Well... about six months ago, I was hitchhiking 999 01:01:04,339 --> 01:01:07,399 and a trucker tried to rape me, but other than that... 1000 01:01:07,475 --> 01:01:10,911 Come on. You're gonna tell me, you never had a real boyfriend? 1001 01:01:10,979 --> 01:01:14,881 Well, once, but I think he just felt sorry for me. 1002 01:01:14,949 --> 01:01:18,180 Oh, well, uh... how long did that last? 1003 01:01:18,286 --> 01:01:22,655 Um... about six years and then one day, he just left. 1004 01:01:22,724 --> 01:01:26,592 Another woman? - No. He got hit by a bus. 1005 01:01:26,661 --> 01:01:28,253 Well, see that's not your fault. 1006 01:01:28,329 --> 01:01:30,695 Well, he didn't seem to try very hard to avoid the bus. 1007 01:01:30,765 --> 01:01:33,325 I think he just wanted out of the relationship. 1008 01:01:33,401 --> 01:01:35,995 Julie, why don't you sit in this chair? 1009 01:01:36,070 --> 01:01:38,436 Oh, geez, I'm starting to feel a bit woozy. 1010 01:01:40,708 --> 01:01:43,905 OK. All right, I have to go find OJ. 1011 01:01:43,978 --> 01:01:48,506 So, Red, if you could watch things for me, that'd be great. 1012 01:01:48,583 --> 01:01:51,746 Got ya. 1013 01:01:54,989 --> 01:01:58,425 Look, I think you're being way too hard on yourself. 1014 01:01:58,526 --> 01:02:02,792 I mean, besides, I bet there've been a lot of guys who've been attracted to you. 1015 01:02:02,864 --> 01:02:05,526 No, he was the only one. 1016 01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:09,229 What about that trucker? I mean, he was obviously attracted to you. 1017 01:02:09,303 --> 01:02:12,238 I think the trucker probably would have raped anyone. 1018 01:02:12,306 --> 01:02:16,037 I doubt that. You were probably pretty special to him. 1019 01:02:16,110 --> 01:02:18,305 So sweet of you, Red. 1020 01:02:18,379 --> 01:02:21,507 I'm not just jerking your chain either. I mean it. 1021 01:02:21,582 --> 01:02:24,483 Yeah. 1022 01:02:28,156 --> 01:02:33,219 What are you doing to the lawn? - It's OK, Tom. We just had to bury TJ. 1023 01:02:33,294 --> 01:02:37,025 Bury... what? You mean, he's... 1024 01:02:38,032 --> 01:02:41,160 You said he was gonna be OK! I thought you were a paramedic. 1025 01:02:41,235 --> 01:02:44,671 Well, I took a course. - You took... you-you guy... 1026 01:02:44,739 --> 01:02:46,639 You can't just bury him, you guys! 1027 01:02:46,708 --> 01:02:48,573 Well, we're not gonna put him in my car. 1028 01:02:48,643 --> 01:02:52,101 That's right. - All right. Forget it. I'm calling 911. 1029 01:02:52,180 --> 01:02:54,978 That's for emergencies. - What do you think this is? 1030 01:02:55,049 --> 01:02:58,177 The guy's dead. In 20 minutes, he's still gonna be dead. 1031 01:02:58,286 --> 01:03:00,720 There's no sense of urgency here. 1032 01:03:00,788 --> 01:03:03,848 No, we have to call the cops and report it! 1033 01:03:03,958 --> 01:03:09,191 And tell'em what? - The truth! That there was a... accident. 1034 01:03:09,263 --> 01:03:13,597 They might not see it that way. - Let's face it, Tom. You did kill him. 1035 01:03:13,668 --> 01:03:17,126 You gave me the pill. - Hey, I didn't tell you to kill nobody, OK? 1036 01:03:17,205 --> 01:03:18,900 Well, you didn't tell me not to use the whiskey! 1037 01:03:18,973 --> 01:03:22,033 Well, if you'd listen to me... - You didn't say anything about whiskey! 1038 01:03:22,110 --> 01:03:23,907 I would think you would listen to me! 1039 01:03:23,978 --> 01:03:25,502 There's no time for blame games. 1040 01:03:25,580 --> 01:03:28,310 Why don't you spread around some leaves? Make it look good. 1041 01:03:28,382 --> 01:03:31,351 I am not gonna help you conceal a dead body! 1042 01:03:31,452 --> 01:03:34,580 Hey, you know what? Don't you think we should say something? 1043 01:03:34,689 --> 01:03:35,951 What? - You know what? She's right. 1044 01:03:36,023 --> 01:03:38,753 Some kind of last rites or eulogy or something like that? 1045 01:03:38,826 --> 01:03:41,090 I'm so screwed. - We should say something. 1046 01:03:41,162 --> 01:03:47,726 Fine, fine. You know what? Say something. Get... just make it quick. 1047 01:03:47,802 --> 01:03:53,866 Lord, this day we lay to rest TJ, who was, uh... 1048 01:03:54,475 --> 01:03:56,443 I really didn't know him. - I don't know him. 1049 01:03:56,511 --> 01:03:58,308 I mean, Tom, you know him the best. Why don't you say something? 1050 01:03:58,379 --> 01:03:59,869 Me? - Yeah. 1051 01:03:59,947 --> 01:04:04,441 All I know is that the guy was a violent, sadistic goon that was into lesbians. 1052 01:04:04,552 --> 01:04:06,850 Amen. 1053 01:04:06,954 --> 01:04:10,355 Tom? - Lisa. 1054 01:04:10,424 --> 01:04:13,188 I can't believe you're still here. - Listen, please. 1055 01:04:13,261 --> 01:04:14,455 You have to let me explain. 1056 01:04:14,529 --> 01:04:18,295 Look, Tom. Tonight was just a big mistake. That's all there is to it. 1057 01:04:18,366 --> 01:04:25,204 No, you... that... what you saw with the girls, all that was weird timing. 1058 01:04:25,273 --> 01:04:28,003 Red? What's Red doing here? 1059 01:04:28,075 --> 01:04:31,943 Red? Oh, uh, Red was in the neighborhood 1060 01:04:32,013 --> 01:04:33,537 and he-and he stopped by. 1061 01:04:33,614 --> 01:04:36,777 But, you see, nothing really bad happened tonight. 1062 01:04:36,884 --> 01:04:42,618 Is he the reason OJ's gone? - No. No, uh... OJ got loose. 1063 01:04:42,690 --> 01:04:45,181 And that's a little problem. But we're gonna find him. 1064 01:04:45,293 --> 01:04:47,761 And we're looking for him, so... 1065 01:04:47,829 --> 01:04:49,228 What's this? 1066 01:04:49,297 --> 01:04:53,324 Oh, uh, Tom killed a guy and we're burying the body. 1067 01:04:53,401 --> 01:04:55,665 OK, that was bad. - Aah! 1068 01:04:55,736 --> 01:04:58,864 OK, well, now you're overreacting. It's not... 1069 01:05:08,616 --> 01:05:10,379 All right, all right, hey. 1070 01:05:10,451 --> 01:05:15,980 Anybody moves, there's gonna be a big hole where her brain used to be. 1071 01:05:18,226 --> 01:05:21,457 Yeah. Go ahead, shoot. 1072 01:05:22,430 --> 01:05:24,489 Well, what are you waiting for? Come on! 1073 01:05:24,565 --> 01:05:25,827 What are you waiting for?! Waste the bitch! 1074 01:05:25,900 --> 01:05:27,868 Tom! - No, I don't give a shit! 1075 01:05:27,935 --> 01:05:31,564 Hey, I'm not joking, asshole. - Yeah? 1076 01:05:31,639 --> 01:05:35,370 Pull the trigger. Come on. Come on! 1077 01:05:37,245 --> 01:05:40,976 I think you're just all talk. 1078 01:05:44,619 --> 01:05:47,588 Looks like we both got guns. 1079 01:05:49,123 --> 01:05:52,024 Who's gonna shoot first this time? 1080 01:06:00,167 --> 01:06:02,362 Well, that should do it. 1081 01:06:02,436 --> 01:06:05,405 Tom! You are so brave. 1082 01:06:05,473 --> 01:06:08,704 No, no. It's not even that big of a deal. This gun's not even loaded... 1083 01:06:10,011 --> 01:06:11,945 What the hell is going on? 1084 01:06:12,013 --> 01:06:15,449 I never should have doubted you. You risked your life for me. 1085 01:06:15,516 --> 01:06:18,349 Audrey found some bullets in the kitchen and I may have reloaded it. 1086 01:06:18,452 --> 01:06:20,443 Yeah, I did. 1087 01:06:20,554 --> 01:06:24,752 Yo, excuse me. Does anyone here know a Jack Taylor? 1088 01:06:24,825 --> 01:06:26,156 Why? 1089 01:06:26,227 --> 01:06:29,958 This dude just called, said if I don't pick him up at the train station in 15 minutes, 1090 01:06:30,031 --> 01:06:33,023 I'm out of a job. What do you suppose that means? 1091 01:06:33,100 --> 01:06:34,226 Oh, my God. 1092 01:06:34,302 --> 01:06:36,270 That's what I thought, 'cause I ain't got no job. 1093 01:06:36,337 --> 01:06:38,202 He's coming home early. - OK, don't worry about it. 1094 01:06:38,272 --> 01:06:41,366 I'll take care of everything, OK? Trust me. Just don't drive too fast. 1095 01:06:41,442 --> 01:06:42,773 Got it. 1096 01:06:42,843 --> 01:06:45,403 And, um, maybe you should put that away. 1097 01:06:45,479 --> 01:06:48,915 Oh, God. 1098 01:07:39,467 --> 01:07:42,903 I knew that was you. 1099 01:09:08,489 --> 01:09:12,289 As long as we're in Thailand for the meeting on Monday afternoon. 1100 01:09:12,359 --> 01:09:16,523 Yeah. We can pick it up when we refuel in Hawaii. 1101 01:09:17,164 --> 01:09:19,997 Hey, uh, do you wanna stop and, uh, get something to drink, 1102 01:09:20,067 --> 01:09:21,364 go to the bathroom or something? 1103 01:09:21,435 --> 01:09:23,528 We'll take the departmental heads now 1104 01:09:23,604 --> 01:09:26,937 and the Creative team in a couple of weeks. 1105 01:09:36,450 --> 01:09:38,509 That's the agenda up to lunch, then there's lunch... 1106 01:09:47,495 --> 01:09:51,261 OK. And then... 1107 01:09:55,069 --> 01:09:58,368 OK. OK. 1108 01:09:59,874 --> 01:10:02,138 OK, fine. 1109 01:10:06,046 --> 01:10:10,881 Stansfield, what are you doing? - Nothing, sir. 1110 01:10:10,985 --> 01:10:13,715 Hold on a moment, please. 1111 01:10:13,821 --> 01:10:18,690 Stansfield... why don't you just concentrate on the driving 1112 01:10:18,759 --> 01:10:21,694 and let me get on with making my call. 1113 01:10:21,762 --> 01:10:24,424 Wait! - What is it now, Stansfield? 1114 01:10:24,498 --> 01:10:28,901 Oh, nothing, sir. Almost home. 1115 01:10:47,054 --> 01:10:51,388 Hey. How'd this get in there? - Oh, be careful with that. 1116 01:10:51,458 --> 01:10:53,323 I will. Good thing I found it. 1117 01:10:53,394 --> 01:10:56,386 There's several ways to properly dispose of a handgun, 1118 01:10:56,463 --> 01:10:58,897 none of which include putting it in a garbage bag. 1119 01:10:58,966 --> 01:11:02,060 Freeze! Police! Freeze! 1120 01:11:02,136 --> 01:11:04,070 Let go of the girl and put your hands in the air! 1121 01:11:04,138 --> 01:11:05,935 You're completely surrounded, TJ! 1122 01:11:06,006 --> 01:11:08,531 Put down your weapons and put your hands on you head! 1123 01:11:08,609 --> 01:11:14,013 No, you guys. Wait. He's not TJ. I'm Lisa Taylor. This is my dad's house. 1124 01:11:14,081 --> 01:11:15,912 Ma'am, we've received numerous reports 1125 01:11:15,983 --> 01:11:17,416 from this neighborhood: theft, gunfire... 1126 01:11:17,484 --> 01:11:21,716 All right. Look, I know you probably think we may have killed somebody, 1127 01:11:21,822 --> 01:11:23,551 but Tom didn't know he poisoned the guy, 1128 01:11:23,624 --> 01:11:27,560 and we thought he was dead when we buried him. But he seems OK now. 1129 01:11:27,661 --> 01:11:31,028 His head's just a little bloody from where we hit him with the shovel. 1130 01:11:31,098 --> 01:11:34,158 And I swear when Tom shot the gun off, he didn't think it was loaded 1131 01:11:34,235 --> 01:11:37,568 'cause I put the bullets back in, so if you'll all just step inside, 1132 01:11:37,638 --> 01:11:39,833 you'll see there's nobody dead here. 1133 01:11:39,907 --> 01:11:41,841 He may have had the wind knocked out of him temporarily, 1134 01:11:41,909 --> 01:11:44,434 but with a little first aid, I think he'll be just fine. 1135 01:11:54,288 --> 01:11:56,313 Holy mother of God! 1136 01:11:58,792 --> 01:12:00,157 Hans! 1137 01:12:00,227 --> 01:12:02,457 Yes, I see. I see. 1138 01:12:02,529 --> 01:12:04,554 OK, fine. 1139 01:12:05,933 --> 01:12:08,493 Could you say that again? You're breaking up! 1140 01:12:08,569 --> 01:12:13,802 One moment, please. OJ! 1141 01:12:23,050 --> 01:12:27,953 I just can't understand why you would do this. Hans, what were you thinking? 1142 01:12:28,022 --> 01:12:30,354 He'll be fine. He may complain about a sore throat, 1143 01:12:30,424 --> 01:12:33,018 but he's in a lot better shape than this chandelier. 1144 01:12:33,093 --> 01:12:34,560 Well, I'd hate to be here when the owner gets back. 1145 01:12:35,329 --> 01:12:37,456 You can say that again. 1146 01:12:41,635 --> 01:12:42,966 Tom! Daddy! - What do we got? 1147 01:12:43,037 --> 01:12:45,232 What was that? - Watch the glass, OK, everybody? 1148 01:12:45,306 --> 01:12:47,331 Let's get'em out of the car. - Oh, my God! Daddy! 1149 01:12:47,408 --> 01:12:49,603 Everybody, stay back and remain calm. - Are you all right? 1150 01:12:49,677 --> 01:12:51,941 That's him. That's the one spying on me through the bushes. 1151 01:12:52,012 --> 01:12:54,173 He shot the bullet right through my Julie's bedroom window. 1152 01:12:54,248 --> 01:12:57,308 Here. Tell'em, Julie. 1153 01:12:58,018 --> 01:13:00,714 You guys, Tom wants the body in here. 1154 01:13:00,821 --> 01:13:03,289 Take it easy. Put me down. 1155 01:13:04,692 --> 01:13:08,150 Stansfield, what have you done? 1156 01:13:08,262 --> 01:13:11,823 Lisa, pack your things. You're coming with me to Thailand. 1157 01:13:13,300 --> 01:13:16,394 No! 1158 01:13:18,806 --> 01:13:21,138 Get his ass out of here. 1159 01:13:21,208 --> 01:13:25,235 It's funny you should mention the word 'ass', Jack. 1160 01:13:25,312 --> 01:13:28,338 Why don't we start by talking about yours. 1161 01:13:28,415 --> 01:13:29,347 Excuse me? 1162 01:13:29,416 --> 01:13:33,477 Lisa, your father is not who you think he is. 1163 01:13:33,587 --> 01:13:38,286 The whole publishing operation. It's a great cover. 1164 01:13:38,359 --> 01:13:42,318 Now how'd you do it? What'd you do? Did you hollow out the books? 1165 01:13:42,396 --> 01:13:46,833 Oh, and locating the plant in Thailand. It's genius! 1166 01:13:48,102 --> 01:13:52,163 What are you talking about? - What am I... Jack. 1167 01:13:52,239 --> 01:13:56,972 You know, I-I would've believed you, Jack... until I met this man, 1168 01:13:57,044 --> 01:13:59,239 who seems to know a lot about ya. 1169 01:14:01,115 --> 01:14:06,576 Recognize this? I hear it's very effective in relieving folliculitis. 1170 01:14:06,687 --> 01:14:09,781 I don't have folliculitis. 1171 01:14:09,890 --> 01:14:13,553 He's given me no choice. 1172 01:14:13,627 --> 01:14:15,458 He's given me no choice! - Tom, what are you doing? 1173 01:14:15,529 --> 01:14:18,225 This is insane! - Yeah? Take a look at your dad's ass. 1174 01:14:18,298 --> 01:14:20,095 No! - Then tell me I'm insane, huh? 1175 01:14:20,167 --> 01:14:24,627 Huh? Look at it! 1176 01:14:24,705 --> 01:14:27,299 Look at it! Huh? Huh? 1177 01:14:27,374 --> 01:14:29,205 Ooh... - What? 1178 01:14:34,014 --> 01:14:36,005 Oh, that's nasty. 1179 01:14:41,488 --> 01:14:46,926 I told you I don't have folliculitis, you blithering idiot. 1180 01:14:46,994 --> 01:14:52,728 Well, guys, the ointment must have worked. 1181 01:14:52,800 --> 01:14:54,961 Let's go. 1182 01:14:55,035 --> 01:14:59,335 Wait! I have something to show ya. 1183 01:15:03,377 --> 01:15:04,605 What's with this movie and the ass cheeks? 1184 01:15:04,678 --> 01:15:09,980 My real name is Jack Taylor... Jr. Red is my nickname. 1185 01:15:10,050 --> 01:15:13,986 Now you know why. I'm the whole reason that TJ's here. 1186 01:15:14,054 --> 01:15:18,115 Goddamn it, Red. You've been dealing drugs out of my house! 1187 01:15:18,225 --> 01:15:22,252 No, Dad, I swear. I gave this guy a bag of flour. 1188 01:15:22,329 --> 01:15:25,662 I dumped a kilo of the real stuff down the toilet. 1189 01:15:25,732 --> 01:15:27,859 I'm finished dealing for good. 1190 01:15:27,935 --> 01:15:31,029 The lime green toilet with the wooden seat? 1191 01:15:31,805 --> 01:15:34,205 Yeah, why? 1192 01:15:46,854 --> 01:15:51,587 Wait a second. He's flying. 1193 01:15:51,658 --> 01:15:54,525 He's flying. 1194 01:16:14,114 --> 01:16:19,882 Get him out of my sight. Now. Lisa, let's go. 1195 01:16:22,122 --> 01:16:24,682 That's the one. He got my ear! Evander Holyfield's ear. 1196 01:16:24,791 --> 01:16:27,487 You have to right to remain silent. Anything you say can and... 1197 01:16:27,561 --> 01:16:29,358 Lisa, wait! 1198 01:16:29,429 --> 01:16:32,091 That's Holyfield's ear for God's sake. 1199 01:16:52,619 --> 01:16:56,453 OJ? 1200 01:16:58,025 --> 01:17:03,327 OJ! Come to Daddy. How's my little boy? 1201 01:17:16,677 --> 01:17:23,207 You're going with him? - What choice do I have? He needs me. 1202 01:17:23,283 --> 01:17:25,911 Are you actually feeling sorry for him? 1203 01:17:26,019 --> 01:17:29,455 He's manipulating you and you are buying it. 1204 01:17:30,357 --> 01:17:34,259 All right, fine. You do what you gotta do. I am gonna bail Tom out of jail. 1205 01:17:34,328 --> 01:17:35,386 With what? Your drug money? 1206 01:17:35,462 --> 01:17:37,487 No, no, no. I stole this out of Dad's safe. 1207 01:17:37,564 --> 01:17:40,624 Look, the important thing is, somebody has gotta help Tom. 1208 01:17:40,701 --> 01:17:44,364 You know that nothing that happened here last night was any of his fault. 1209 01:17:44,438 --> 01:17:48,932 It's funny. The nicest guy in the world's the only one with enough balls 1210 01:17:49,009 --> 01:17:51,307 to stand up to Dad. 1211 01:17:54,648 --> 01:17:58,880 All he wanted to do was to spend some time with you. 1212 01:17:58,986 --> 01:18:01,113 Look what it gets him. 1213 01:18:01,221 --> 01:18:06,056 Classic Dad. I'm not allowed in the house, you're not allowed out of it. 1214 01:18:06,126 --> 01:18:09,562 He doesn't care about us. Only that stupid bird. 1215 01:18:10,964 --> 01:18:14,627 Hey, Red, can I tell you something? - Sure. 1216 01:18:14,701 --> 01:18:19,195 I know this is gonna sound weird, but ever since I was a little kid... 1217 01:18:21,408 --> 01:18:26,209 I used to always wish that I was that stupid bird. 1218 01:18:36,390 --> 01:18:39,882 Look, I think it's about time you talk to Dad. 1219 01:18:39,993 --> 01:18:43,759 At least tell him how you feel. You can do it. 1220 01:18:48,235 --> 01:18:51,966 Don't you see, we have no reason to be afraid of him? 1221 01:19:06,086 --> 01:19:10,887 Daddy! - Lisa, don't let him do this to you. 1222 01:19:35,649 --> 01:19:38,812 Lisa! - Tom! 1223 01:19:38,919 --> 01:19:42,616 Red bailed me out... and told me you were here and I'm not letting you go. 1224 01:19:42,756 --> 01:19:45,224 Yeah, but I'm... - No. You're gonna let me finish. 1225 01:19:45,325 --> 01:19:48,761 I went through hell last night and it was my fault 'cause I let people do it to me. 1226 01:19:48,862 --> 01:19:50,625 And now you're gonna make the same mistake. 1227 01:19:50,697 --> 01:19:52,392 Yeah, but... - This isn't what you want. 1228 01:19:52,466 --> 01:19:55,458 This is what your father wants. And you know what? 1229 01:19:55,535 --> 01:20:01,633 Maybe you and I... never are gonna work. And that hurts. 1230 01:20:01,708 --> 01:20:05,906 But not as much as watching you be controlled by a ruthless tyrant 1231 01:20:05,979 --> 01:20:08,573 that would screw his own mother if he thought it'd help him get ahead... 1232 01:20:08,648 --> 01:20:20,048 Tom! I'm not going. 1233 01:20:20,160 --> 01:20:22,219 She's-she's not going. 1234 01:20:25,432 --> 01:20:29,334 Is this whole concept too complicated for you, Stansfield? 1235 01:20:39,613 --> 01:20:43,743 No. No. 1236 01:20:43,817 --> 01:20:46,445 All right. 1237 01:20:46,553 --> 01:20:49,852 Wha... I... What made you stay? 1238 01:20:57,931 --> 01:20:59,922 That. 1239 01:21:06,740 --> 01:21:12,770 How did you guys... - We finally had our long overdue talk. 1240 01:21:13,513 --> 01:21:16,448 Then-then who's taking your place in Thailand? 1241 01:21:16,516 --> 01:21:18,177 He is. 1242 01:21:18,285 --> 01:21:19,547 What's this? - Ow! 1243 01:21:19,653 --> 01:21:22,884 I'm kidding. - I don't wanna go. I'm afraid. 1244 01:21:22,989 --> 01:21:26,015 Nonsense. Everyone knows that, uh... 1245 01:21:26,126 --> 01:21:29,357 Asian people are very intimidated by, uh... 1246 01:21:29,429 --> 01:21:31,454 Tall men? - Canadians? 1247 01:21:31,531 --> 01:21:34,261 Republicans? - Blacks? 1248 01:21:34,334 --> 01:21:36,097 Henderson? - Yes, sir. 1249 01:21:36,169 --> 01:21:37,898 I won't have that kind of thinking in this company. 1250 01:21:37,971 --> 01:21:40,838 There's no room for racism here. You're fired. 1251 01:21:40,907 --> 01:21:45,640 Now, Tom, the point that I'm getting to is that with a big part of the team away, 1252 01:21:45,712 --> 01:21:48,476 I'm gonna want you to take over the Creative Department. 1253 01:21:48,548 --> 01:21:50,812 Me? - No need to be modest. 1254 01:21:50,917 --> 01:21:53,909 I saw those ideas you left in the living room. 1255 01:21:54,020 --> 01:21:58,821 Your theory on the JFK thing, brilliant. And the moon landing, a hoax? 1256 01:21:58,892 --> 01:22:00,985 You're really on to something there. 1257 01:22:01,061 --> 01:22:05,088 That's the kind of thinking that's gonna sell books. 1258 01:22:05,165 --> 01:22:09,101 Uh, thank you, sir. 1259 01:22:09,169 --> 01:22:12,798 Bye, Daddy. Have a safe flight. 1260 01:22:16,209 --> 01:22:20,771 Well, Dad... that's fantastic. You promoted Tom. 1261 01:22:20,847 --> 01:22:24,374 Yeah, well, I figure anyone who's got the guts to piss on my Persian carpet 1262 01:22:24,484 --> 01:22:29,217 has gotta have what it takes. Stansfield! 1263 01:22:34,661 --> 01:22:39,928 What the hell are you doing? - Just trying to get my job back, sir. 1264 01:22:44,971 --> 01:22:48,907 You know, after everything that happened, after all I went through, 1265 01:22:48,975 --> 01:22:52,911 I guess it was my lucky day. And I'm not the only one. 1266 01:22:52,979 --> 01:22:55,004 Based on Lisa and Red's suggestions, 1267 01:22:55,081 --> 01:22:57,675 Jack restructured the company from top to bottom. 1268 01:22:57,751 --> 01:23:01,414 Even instituting casual Fridays every day. 1269 01:23:01,521 --> 01:23:04,718 And last Friday was Henderson's 27th straight day on the job 1270 01:23:04,791 --> 01:23:06,281 without being fired. 1271 01:23:06,393 --> 01:23:09,385 OJ's back off the drugs and now he only drinks beer. 1272 01:23:11,498 --> 01:23:14,160 But he still has an occasional flashback. 1273 01:23:16,836 --> 01:23:19,304 Jack begged Audrey to come back, but she got a job 1274 01:23:19,372 --> 01:23:21,363 at, of all places, a coffee shop. 1275 01:23:27,647 --> 01:23:30,377 This is terrible! 1276 01:23:30,450 --> 01:23:34,045 Hans succeeded in turning around the company's factory in Thailand. 1277 01:23:34,154 --> 01:23:36,622 But apparently he's still struggling to cope with the local customs. 1278 01:23:36,690 --> 01:23:39,090 Back of bus! - Excuse me? 1279 01:23:39,159 --> 01:23:42,526 You people belong back of bus. - That's an outrage! 1280 01:23:42,595 --> 01:23:45,462 Man, I'm not gonna let you treat me like that merely because I'm... 1281 01:23:45,532 --> 01:23:48,399 Smoking! Smokers belong back of bus! 1282 01:23:51,538 --> 01:23:53,733 As for me, with my new promotion, 1283 01:23:53,807 --> 01:23:56,799 I could at last write books based on my own experiences. 1284 01:23:56,876 --> 01:23:58,275 So I did. - Thank you. 1285 01:23:58,345 --> 01:24:02,145 And Lisa was finally able to pursue a career that she loved. 1286 01:24:02,215 --> 01:24:05,048 You know, you ever heard someone say that old expression: 1287 01:24:05,151 --> 01:24:08,348 'Why does everything bad always happen to me?' 1288 01:24:08,455 --> 01:24:12,391 Well, I don't get those people... 'cause I've learned that if they just stop 1289 01:24:12,492 --> 01:24:19,227 and look around, they'd realize that everything happens for a reason. 1290 01:24:32,500 --> 01:24:40,000 ICE-T Media Stuff iceyaman@hotmail.com