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Welcome to Hazzard County.
2
00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:34,300
A little corner of the world where
everyone knows everyone else...
3
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... and people are never too busy
to stop and say howdy.
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Shoot, some folks even say this is
where the apple pie was invented.
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Yep, basically everything down here
moves a little bit slower...
6
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:54,200
... unless, of course,
your last name is Duke.
7
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Man, the General's in good shape.
8
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Bo, it's happy hour at The Boar's Nest,
and we still got two deliveries to make.
9
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It's all one big happy hour, Luke.
Besides, we're taking a shortcut.
10
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,000
Hi, Luke.
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- I got this one.
- You sure that's a good idea, cuz?
12
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It's a great idea. Come on.
13
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Hey, Laurie.
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- You here to make your delivery?
- Well, I was hoping to.
15
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Luke, remember last time.
16
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Don't worry about it, cuz.
17
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It's okay, Bo. Pa ain't here.
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See, Bo? Pa ain't here.
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- Hi.
- Hi.
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Play hard to get, little buddy.
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Listen and learn, General.
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And now, side two
of the Al Unser, Jr. Story:
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00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:41,900
No Questions, Only Unsers,
as read by Laurence Fishburne.
24
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"I'm too old for this shit. "
25
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That's what I was thinking
as I turned into the final lap...
26
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... running fourth at Talladega.
27
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But then it hit me.
Life is like a racetrack.
28
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You gotta keep going
round and round.
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- That is so true.
- Sure, sometimes you crash and burn.
30
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But if you don't make the turn,
you ain't never gonna learn.
31
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So I gripped the wheel tighter,
checked my gauges, and made my move.
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Make my move. Give you my move.
Make it, mother...
33
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- Jesus Christ!
- Howdy, Bo.
34
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Hey, Mr. Pullman.
I nearly shit myself.
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- How you doing, sir?
- Oh, I'm fine.
36
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You ready for that big
Hazzard Rally this weekend?
37
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Yeah, I got him all tuned up.
Right, General?
38
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How many times
you won that, anyway?
39
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- Four in a row, sir.
- Four in a row.
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That's good. Billy Prickett won it four
in a row, and look what he's doing today.
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00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,200
- Hey, you been hunting?
- Yes, sir.
42
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Yeah, I been using
those new whammy shells.
43
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They scatter less for when you really
wanna blow a hole in something.
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00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,900
- Cool. Guns.
- Yeah.
45
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,900
Are you delivering
all by yourself today?
46
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:58,100
Oh, no. I never travel alone, sir.
47
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I like to think I travel
with the man upstairs.
48
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,300
You know, Jesus.
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00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,600
You know, I like that attitude.
50
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,900
I'm gonna look around
and find a boy like you...
51
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...to date my daughter,
Laurie, pretty soon.
52
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Because she's getting curious
about boys, you know.
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Yeah.
54
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Oh, you're talking about sex, right?
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I just wanna keep that
sorry cousin of yours away from her.
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The way he looks at her galls me.
You know what I mean?
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You get back here right now,
you son of a bitch.
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Get back here.
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Luke! Luke!
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- Why you running, you chickenshit?
- Goddamn Dukes.
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You get the hell off my sister.
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- Jimmy!
- Oh, shit.
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Damn you, Luke!
You get back in the house!
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00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,000
- Go, Bo, go!
- Luke, wait!
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- Put on a shirt!
- Come on, come on, come on.
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I forgot about the brother. Go!
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So happy hour?
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00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,800
- You're gonna get us shot someday.
- Not today.
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00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:05,400
Not with you driving the getaway car.
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00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:10,200
- So how was it?
- It's never bad.
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00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:15,100
Son of a bitch.
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Here, load up with these
whammy shells.
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They'll blow a hole through
an elephant's ass.
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Look out.
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Oh, goddamn it!
You're gonna replace that.
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00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,100
- What's he using?
- You don't wanna know.
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Dadgum it,
you just assassinated a tree.
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Got a big kick to it.
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00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,700
Don't you worry. They can't touch
the General. Come on, boy.
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You missed, Jimmy!
81
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:55,300
Can't you shoot straight? Don't point
that thing at me, you chucklehead.
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Don't call me a chucklehead.
I ain't a chucklehead.
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Hey! Get that gun out of the wheel!
84
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:04,300
What are you doing? Hey.
Hey. What the hell?
85
00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:06,400
- Goddamn it.
- I'm sorry, Daddy.
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00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,400
Let's go after them.
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00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,500
- Bo, did you see that sign?
- I can read!
88
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This is how you planned
on losing them?
89
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:17,400
You ain't scared, are you?
90
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,600
Scared? Hell, no. I just don't
wanna hear it from Uncle Jesse...
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00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,000
...when you break his bottles of shine.
92
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,800
I bet you the old phone book
I don't break a bottle.
93
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,800
Phone book it is.
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00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:31,600
Daddy, you get me close,
and I'll put a bullet in this son of a bitch.
95
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:36,600
Goddamn it, Jimmy!
96
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:40,300
Who says I can't shoot? Daddy? Daddy!
97
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,500
Bo and Luke Duke.
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00:07:03,700 --> 00:07:06,100
Cousins closer than brothers.
99
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,500
Both big-hearted, strong-willed...
100
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:12,000
... and restless as a couple of cats
thrown into a swimming hole.
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00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:40,400
Nice driving, cuz.
102
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:45,900
What?
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00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,900
- I won the bet, you son of a bitch.
- Oh, come on.
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I didn't break any bottles,
so I won the bet.
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- I was just joking about the bet.
- Oh, you were joking?
106
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:05,600
- Yeah.
- Still getting the phone book, though.
107
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,600
- Come on, double or nothing.
- Nope. Time to pay your debt, buddy.
108
00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:12,800
Which side you want,
right side or left?
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00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:16,500
Right.
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00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:18,400
Did I hear one of your teeth break?
111
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:21,600
I don't remember the Hazzard
phone book being that thick.
112
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This is Atlanta.
113
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:38,200
Bet was over. I can't believe that
happened. I mean, the bet was over.
114
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,200
- What are you doing?
- Where you want it?
115
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:44,100
- Oh, man.
- Where you want it?
116
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:45,700
Left.
117
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That was a good one.
118
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Right in the ball sack. God.
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In case of dehydration.
120
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,200
That'll put lead in your pencil.
121
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:15,800
- Man, I'm already tired of walking.
- You could use a little exercise.
122
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,100
Them jeans of yours
look tighter than Daisy's.
123
00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:21,700
Oh, yeah? I bet you a cold beer
I could beat you to The Boar's Nest.
124
00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:23,900
That's five miles.
125
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,500
I'm coming! I'm coming!
126
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Face!
127
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He came back.
128
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What's Billy Prickett doing here?
129
00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:56,800
Well, it looks like he's here
for the race.
130
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Man, those tires alone are worth
more than the General Lee.
131
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:07,600
My, oh, my. Look at that.
Billy Prickett's car, huh?
132
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,100
What's new
in law enforcement, Enos?
133
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,900
- They make you lieutenant yet?
- Hell, you know that'll never happen.
134
00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:16,900
Maybe one of these days you'll
wise up and come work for us.
135
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:18,900
We could use a man like you.
136
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:22,800
I don't know. I don't think it's a good
time to be in the moonshine business.
137
00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:26,000
Moonshine business?
We ain't in the moonshining business.
138
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:32,400
But if someone were in the moonshining
business, why would it be a bad time?
139
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:35,700
Now, Luke, you know I can't say
anything. Boss Hogg'll tan my hide.
140
00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:37,400
He spanks you?
141
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:40,100
Hey, Dil, what do you want?
We just ordered.
142
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,200
By the looks of this place,
I'll take two bottles of Pepto...
143
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:45,700
...and a shot of penicillin, right?
144
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,500
Jesus, mother of Mary.
145
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:03,100
Look away, man.
Trust me, look away.
146
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:05,700
Don't worry about it.
I won't hurt her.
147
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:09,400
There ain't nobody in this bar
concerned about you hurting her.
148
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,300
All right, all right.
149
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,200
Y'all ready to order?
150
00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:23,300
You better be reading
my nametag, friend.
151
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:27,900
I am, I am. I noticed
your initials were double D.
152
00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:32,600
- Oh, sweet Jesus.
- I'll give you one more chance.
153
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:35,800
You wanna order, or you wanna sit
around and make stupid jokes?
154
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,300
Ain't gotta get fussy.
We're having a good time.
155
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:41,300
I'll tell you what, I'll order.
We don't want no problems.
156
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,700
Let's see...
157
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:46,600
Do those legs come over easy?
158
00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:48,700
Oh, my God.
159
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:54,800
- How about the special, sir?
- Dil Driscoll!
160
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:58,800
You stop bothering that nice girl
and pick on somebody your own size.
161
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,100
- Billy Prickett.
- Hey, it's Billy Prickett!
162
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:04,200
- Welcome home, boy.
- You old mule.
163
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,100
Hey.
164
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:11,000
Why don't you cool off, Dil?
165
00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:15,700
- Come on, boy. Let's get out of here.
- My, my, my.
166
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:20,500
Holy hell, Luke. There he is, right there.
That's Billy Prickett.
167
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,200
Should I buy him a drink?
168
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:25,000
Maybe you should buy him
flowers and chocolates.
169
00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:29,300
Give me a Miller.
Make it a L�wenbr�u.
170
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,300
How you doing?
171
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:35,700
Hey, Billy Prickett.
Welcome back to Hazzard.
172
00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:41,200
See, boys, I told you all the
waitresses in this place was dog ugly.
173
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,400
- Man.
- I'm only fooling with you.
174
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,000
Fellas, this is Bo Duke.
175
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:51,200
Bo is looking to break my Hazzard Rally
record. What is it now, four in a row?
176
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:53,300
Yeah, well...
177
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:59,600
All streaks must come to an end, Bo.
I'm calling this one "the drive for five. "
178
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:03,500
- Well, I'm looking forward to the race.
- Hey, Dil!
179
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,900
This is the boy
who's trying to break my record.
180
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:09,200
Oh, really? I'm Dil Driscoll, crew chief.
181
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:10,800
- Bo-Bo, have a seat.
- Really?
182
00:13:12,900 --> 00:13:15,900
So, Billy, what's it like
being in the circuit?
183
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:18,100
- Well...
- Hey, Billy, join me for a drink?
184
00:13:18,300 --> 00:13:19,900
Oh, well, you sweet little thing.
185
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:23,200
Fellas, I'm awfully thirsty
all of a sudden.
186
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,800
Bo-Bo, may the best man win.
187
00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:28,600
John, another round!
188
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:32,700
So, Bo, what's the story
on that little pistol over there?
189
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:36,100
Because she gave me a ride earlier.
190
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:39,100
Well, actually, she's my cousin.
191
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:41,900
Oh, really? You hitting that?
192
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:46,300
- She's my cousin.
- Hopefully you're kissing cousins, right?
193
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:51,100
- Come again?
- Son, all I'm really trying to ask you...
194
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:54,500
...is if you shuck her corn.
195
00:13:58,300 --> 00:14:04,300
Now, there are certain things you just
don't say to a Duke about another Duke.
196
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:10,300
I'll shuck your corn!
197
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:14,300
Excuse me a second.
198
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,200
Pick him up! Pick him up!
199
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:20,400
Hey, hey. Can I get in on this?
200
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:21,800
- Yeah.
- Sure.
201
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,000
Oh, buddy.
202
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:34,900
Here we go.
203
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,400
Fifty bucks on the Dukes!
204
00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:55,700
- That makes two, Luke!
- Attaboy!
205
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:06,100
Hey, Billy Prickett!
206
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,100
Careful, Bo-Bo.
207
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:13,400
Don't hit him. That's A.J. Foyt!
208
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,500
- Really?
- The fourth!
209
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:45,000
- Hey, can I hit this guy?
- Kill them all!
210
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,000
- The ribs are greasy.
- The beans are cold.
211
00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:01,200
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.
212
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:05,100
Closest thing to law enforcement
in Hazzard County.
213
00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:09,100
Rosco's been after the Duke boys
since they started walking.
214
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:11,900
Of course, some people say
the boys' first steps...
215
00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:16,500
... landed right on the sheriff's
last nerve.
216
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:33,800
Dukes. Just once you two
ought to try leaving a place...
217
00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:36,700
...in better shape
than it was when you walked in.
218
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:41,700
Oh, I think your boss can afford
to replace a few broken beer mugs.
219
00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:44,900
I heard there was
a little incident earlier...
220
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:50,100
...concerning a certain crappy
orange hot rod out at the Miller farm.
221
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:53,200
Y'all really upset some
of them construction boys.
222
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:57,300
When I got there, they were not being
gentle with your beloved piece of crap.
223
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,800
What'd you do, Rosco?
224
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,900
I can't say she's gonna be in real good
racing shape for the rally this weekend.
225
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:12,400
You watch yourself, hillbilly boy.
226
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:16,800
Come on, boys. My shift's over.
I'll take you over to Cooter's.
227
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,800
Come on.
228
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,700
Jefferson Davis Hogg...
229
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:48,000
... the meanest man
in Hazzard County.
230
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:52,800
He's canny as a fox,
tough as a badger...
231
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:57,400
... and crooked as a hillbilly's smile.
232
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:01,200
Well, Rosco.
233
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,700
I see you have redecorated.
234
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,800
Interesting style. What do you call it?
235
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,500
- Well, sir, the Dukes...
- The Dukes.
236
00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:16,800
I had a feeling.
237
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:26,300
I've got some important things
happening here this weekend.
238
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:30,000
- Yes, sir.
- Are you gonna take care of the Dukes...
239
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,600
...or am I gonna have to make
other plans?
240
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,600
I'm on top of it, Boss.
241
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,300
That's what I'm afraid of.
242
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:43,900
- You ready?
- Is it bad?
243
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,800
Not good.
244
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,600
Hell, this is worse than the time
you sunk it in the Tipton Swamp.
245
00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:58,100
Mostly cosmetic damage,
right, Cooter?
246
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,300
- Mostly.
- Yeah.
247
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:06,000
- He's gonna be ready for the race, right?
- Race? Come on, Bo.
248
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:08,600
I mean, the General doesn't race.
249
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,400
The General erases the competition.
250
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:31,800
Who does this?
251
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:38,900
It would make a nice hat or a slipper.
252
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:42,600
You know what? Just leave the General
here with me. I'll see if I can fix...
253
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:46,300
I'll have it up running in no time.
Meanwhile, you boys take my truck.
254
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,300
What if you need to tow somebody?
255
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:53,100
If I can't "toe" them, I'll just finger them.
You know what I mean?
256
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:03,900
Close one. Even shell-shocked,
he's a better driver than you are.
257
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,000
- Thanks, Cooter.
- Yeah.
258
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,100
Chin up.
259
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,800
Daisy?
260
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,100
Jesse L. Duke.
261
00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:25,100
- Uncle Jesse to you.
- Daisy.
262
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,100
Now, Jesse's been
two places in his life:
263
00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:30,600
Hazzard County and Korea.
264
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,200
- Daisy?
- I'm in here.
265
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:35,500
- As far as he's concerned...
- Where are you?
266
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:37,000
I'm in the shower.
267
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,700
- that's one place too many.
268
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,600
Ready or not, here I come.
269
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:51,800
- How's it looking, good looking?
- Well, I fixed the vapor coils...
270
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,400
...but the boiler's still slow.
You been running this around the clock?
271
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:59,200
Them boys break more bottles than
they deliver. Eight cases this month.
272
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:02,400
Wonder where in the hell
they are, anyway.
273
00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:06,300
It'll make you feel lots better.
274
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:12,100
- Light the son of a bitch.
- All right.
275
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,200
I feel good.
276
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,200
All right, y'all, knock off
the grab-assing over there.
277
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,500
What's going on, Uncle Jesse?
278
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:27,700
Guy come out of an antique shop
carrying a big grandfather's clock.
279
00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:29,900
Bumped into this drunk,
broke the clock.
280
00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:32,200
Guy said, "Why don't you watch
where you're going. "
281
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:35,700
The drunk says, "Why don't you carry
a wristwatch like everybody else. "
282
00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:39,600
Know what happens
when you give a politician Viagra?
283
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:41,500
- No.
- He gets taller.
284
00:21:42,700 --> 00:21:44,300
Here's another one for you.
285
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,700
How many Dukes does it take
to screw up a moonshine delivery?
286
00:21:47,900 --> 00:21:50,400
Oh, yes, sorry about that,
Uncle Jesse. We...
287
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:58,500
Is that Rosco?
288
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,600
Wonder what
that fat sack of shit wants.
289
00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:03,700
Come on.
290
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:09,500
We can skip the "Hi, how are you's. "
I'm here on official police business.
291
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,800
Right here, sheriff.
292
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:16,500
Oh, that's horseshit.
You planted that.
293
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:25,500
"By the power vested in me
by the County of Hazzard, Georgia...
294
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,600
...I hereby seize this property...
295
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:31,400
...for the crime of producing
and distributing moonshine. "
296
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,600
Now, Jesse,
we can do this the easy way...
297
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,000
...or, of course...
298
00:22:40,300 --> 00:22:41,800
...there's that other way.
299
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,900
- Let's try the that other way first.
- Now, hold on. Wait.
300
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,500
Only way I'm leaving this farm
is in a wooden box.
301
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,500
Well...
302
00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:52,900
Hi, Dukes.
303
00:22:54,700 --> 00:22:56,200
Hi.
304
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:58,700
Well, now.
305
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,300
Lookie there.
306
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:06,600
Moonshining.
What a shame, what a shame.
307
00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:09,800
- That ain't ours, Boss.
- Really?
308
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,300
You're out of here.
309
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:14,800
This land ain't yours anymore.
310
00:23:14,900 --> 00:23:17,000
You're gonna have to
live somewhere else...
311
00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:19,800
...and you're never gonna moonshine...
- Why, you prick!
312
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:25,100
Watch out. I got my dog here,
and I ain't fed him, and he's real hungry.
313
00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:28,600
Easy, Jesse. Not now.
314
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:35,100
You boys done started a fight
you can't win.
315
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,800
Well, you have my sympathy.
Y'all take care, now.
316
00:23:51,100 --> 00:23:53,900
- Should've busted a cap in his ass.
- Hell, yeah.
317
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,200
Hey, easy now, boys.
318
00:23:56,300 --> 00:23:59,400
Thanks for taking us in, Pauline.
We really appreciate it.
319
00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:01,300
Oh, honey, it is my pleasure.
320
00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:05,500
I left three toes in Korea for this country,
and this is the thanks I get.
321
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,100
I don't understand how they
could just take your farm.
322
00:24:08,300 --> 00:24:10,200
They planted a still in our barn.
323
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:15,100
They planted a still? Now,
why would they need to plant a still?
324
00:24:15,300 --> 00:24:18,300
Because they're too damn dumb
to find our real one.
325
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:22,200
I was waiting on old Bill Miller
up at the truck stop last night.
326
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:26,700
He said Boss' men seized his land
for some trumped-up charge too.
327
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:31,000
Maybe it's got to do with all that
construction equipment up at the Millers'.
328
00:24:31,100 --> 00:24:33,600
You wanna go up there
and take a second look?
329
00:24:33,700 --> 00:24:35,700
Oh, I don't know, boys.
330
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,400
Oh, now, Pauline.
331
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,600
Don't worry, Uncle Jesse.
We're gonna take care of it.
332
00:24:43,100 --> 00:24:45,200
You know what's gonna happen,
don't you?
333
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,500
Those two are gonna get themselves
in trouble, end up in jail...
334
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,200
...and I'm gonna have to
shake my ass to get them out.
335
00:24:51,300 --> 00:24:53,500
That's why we love you, honey.
336
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:01,200
- Oh, goddamn it.
- Well, well, well.
337
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,600
What the hell
do you think you're doing?
338
00:25:04,700 --> 00:25:07,400
What's it look like?
I'm building a doomsday machine...
339
00:25:07,500 --> 00:25:09,900
...gonna aim it right up
your heinie hole.
340
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,400
You stupid enough to think
you can fix this?
341
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,000
- I'm fixing to fix it.
- Oh, you fixing to fix it.
342
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,100
You couldn't fix an election
if your brother was the governor.
343
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,400
What do you want, Rosco?
344
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:25,700
This here vehicle, it was used in the
illegal transportation of moonshine.
345
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,400
Boss wants it impounded.
346
00:25:27,500 --> 00:25:30,400
It ain't running right now,
and my tow truck ain't here...
347
00:25:30,500 --> 00:25:32,400
...so unless you stick it up your ass...
348
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,100
Hey, one way or another,
grease monkey...
349
00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:38,300
...tomorrow I'm auctioning off
this hunk of junk.
350
00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:40,900
So y'all have a good night, now, okay?
351
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:48,200
I got two words for you:
Soap and water.
352
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,700
That's three words.
353
00:25:51,900 --> 00:25:53,700
Stupid.
354
00:26:00,900 --> 00:26:02,600
Hey, man, this is Cooter.
355
00:26:02,700 --> 00:26:06,200
Round up the fellas.
I got a job for them.
356
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,300
Lot of equipment there
for an abandoned farm.
357
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:15,900
Yeah, and that fence went up
pretty quick too, huh?
358
00:26:16,300 --> 00:26:19,300
- Let's go ditch the truck.
- All right.
359
00:26:44,300 --> 00:26:47,300
Well, ain't that cute,
a man taking his pig for a walk.
360
00:26:52,300 --> 00:26:53,700
Come on.
361
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,000
What now?
362
00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:12,400
Lookie here, Bo.
363
00:27:13,900 --> 00:27:17,700
He's got our farm marked, right next
to the Millers' and the Robinsons'.
364
00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:22,300
What the hell does he want
with all this land?
365
00:27:22,300 --> 00:27:24,500
I don't know.
366
00:27:25,700 --> 00:27:29,600
But I tell you what,
if I was incriminating information...
367
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:33,000
...I'd be hiding in that big,
huge son of a bitch.
368
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:36,500
- How are we supposed to open that?
- I don't know about you...
369
00:27:36,700 --> 00:27:39,500
... but I'd sure hate to be
that safe right now.
370
00:27:39,900 --> 00:27:41,600
Yeah!
371
00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:58,100
Holy shit.
372
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,600
Hope they got e-mail.
373
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:25,300
Oh, dear.
374
00:28:35,900 --> 00:28:37,900
What the hell?
375
00:28:41,700 --> 00:28:43,100
It's stuck on a pole.
376
00:28:43,500 --> 00:28:46,000
I'll check it.
377
00:28:58,900 --> 00:29:02,000
- Give it some gas!
- Okay!
378
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:12,200
- Hey, give it a little more gas!
- Okay!
379
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,600
- Hey, Bo, hold up!
- Okay!
380
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,800
Hey! No, Bo! No!
381
00:29:17,900 --> 00:29:19,800
Okay!
382
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,500
- Yeah!
- Bo!
383
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:29,000
- No, Bo!
- Sorry, cuz.
384
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:31,000
You'd do the same thing to me.
385
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,000
Bo!
386
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,000
Bo, damn it!
387
00:29:42,100 --> 00:29:44,100
Hold on, little buddy!
388
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:50,300
Oh, shit!
389
00:29:57,400 --> 00:29:58,900
Bo, you son of a...
390
00:30:18,700 --> 00:30:22,800
I said, no, Bo. No!
391
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,500
I thought you said, "Go, Bo. Go. "
392
00:30:28,700 --> 00:30:30,600
You see how that sounds kind of..?
393
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:37,700
Hey, you know what?
Sheev lives near here.
394
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:39,900
Maybe he can help us
open this thing up, huh?
395
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:42,600
Yeah.
396
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,600
Okay. We'll go to Sheev's.
397
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:58,900
Rosco, this here's Chip.
398
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,300
You might wanna call Hogg...
399
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:06,100
...and tell him them two fellers,
they made off with his safe.
400
00:31:06,300 --> 00:31:09,400
And I might need a ride too.
401
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,400
Boss, what kind of mood you in?
402
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,800
I'm in a crawfish-boiling mood.
403
00:31:21,700 --> 00:31:26,200
Well, it seems that the Duke boys...
404
00:31:26,300 --> 00:31:28,800
...have stolen your safe.
405
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:37,100
I am officially upgrading the Dukes...
406
00:31:37,300 --> 00:31:42,100
...from "fly in my ointment"
to "thorn in my side. "
407
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:46,700
And if they happen to elevate
themselves to "pain in my ass"...
408
00:31:46,900 --> 00:31:51,900
...then I'm gonna boil you. Got it?
409
00:31:52,100 --> 00:31:54,500
- Yes, sir.
- Now...
410
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:58,600
...I want you to find the Dukes
and lock them up.
411
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:03,200
Oh, and bring me my damn safe back.
412
00:32:03,300 --> 00:32:05,100
Yes, sir.
413
00:32:09,900 --> 00:32:11,200
Flash.
414
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,100
Evening, Sheev.
415
00:32:27,700 --> 00:32:29,300
Sheev.
416
00:32:38,100 --> 00:32:41,900
I'm looking for them Duke boys.
You seen them?
417
00:32:44,100 --> 00:32:47,300
They was last seen
heading up this road here.
418
00:32:49,100 --> 00:32:52,600
You still got them CIA mind probes
stuck in your head, boy?
419
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,400
Far as I know.
420
00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:58,500
Good.
Keep your little antennae up there...
421
00:32:58,700 --> 00:33:02,300
...in case you see the Dukes,
you let me know, you hear?
422
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,000
Yeah.
423
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:09,300
Stinks out here, you know that?
424
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,400
- Is he gone, Sheev?
- He's gone.
425
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:34,900
- Prickett, Prickett.
- It means a lot to me...
426
00:33:35,100 --> 00:33:37,200
... to be invited here
back to my hometown.
427
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:39,600
I hope to remind
the good people of Hazzard...
428
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:43,500
- ... what it feels like to be proud again.
- We love you, Billy!
429
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:47,700
And I hope to remind the good people
of Hazzard to come out to the rally...
430
00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:50,400
... and cheer their favorite son,
Billy Prickett!
431
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,400
And I'm declaring today
Billy Prickett Day.
432
00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:59,500
You're too kind.
I just hope, come Saturday...
433
00:33:59,700 --> 00:34:02,200
... I'm not too hazardous on the roads.
434
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,500
"Hazardous on the roads. "
435
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,300
- This one's for you!
- This is Tammy Arinder...
436
00:34:08,500 --> 00:34:11,000
... at the parade, for WCNU News.
437
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,300
Seeing Billy Prickett race in person?
438
00:34:13,500 --> 00:34:16,200
That might be worth
putting my pants on for.
439
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,400
- Bo, you racing on Saturday?
- I'm planning on it.
440
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,800
What's the prize for second place?
441
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,200
Gonna be good.
Tough one, good luck.
442
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,000
It's a little weird
he's coming back here to race.
443
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:32,300
Life's weird, Luke. Someday
you're gonna have to accept that.
444
00:34:35,300 --> 00:34:38,600
Well, okay.
Let's take a look at that lockbox.
445
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:42,700
Oh, yeah. Liberty 400.
446
00:34:43,100 --> 00:34:46,100
High-density,
9200-psi composite material.
447
00:34:46,300 --> 00:34:48,600
Two-inch chrome bolts,
vertical and horizontal.
448
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:52,600
And a spring-loaded, independent
relocking device, with a foreign body.
449
00:34:52,700 --> 00:34:56,100
- She's a beauty.
- Can you crack it?
450
00:34:56,300 --> 00:34:58,700
I'm gonna do more than crack it.
451
00:34:59,700 --> 00:35:01,900
Goddamn it.
452
00:35:06,300 --> 00:35:10,500
Armadillo. They've been infiltrating
my perimeter all summer.
453
00:35:10,700 --> 00:35:14,100
- The hell you do with them?
- I make helmets.
454
00:35:14,300 --> 00:35:18,200
Armadillo helmets can block
even the best brain-wave scanners.
455
00:35:18,300 --> 00:35:20,500
Make a pretty good soup bowl too.
456
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:23,400
So okay. I'm gonna
go to work on this thing.
457
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:27,400
While I do, would you be a dear, Bo,
and go grab me that armadillo?
458
00:35:30,500 --> 00:35:32,300
Thanks.
459
00:35:33,700 --> 00:35:35,800
Man, he looks pissed off.
460
00:35:37,700 --> 00:35:40,900
Come on, y'all! That was a good one.
461
00:35:41,300 --> 00:35:44,000
All right, maybe you could
take it off now.
462
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,100
Got a real nice deal on this stuff.
Government issue.
463
00:35:47,300 --> 00:35:50,800
Only expired about six months ago,
so should have a real nice pop.
464
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,400
Yeah! Cooter's got
the General running.
465
00:35:55,100 --> 00:35:58,300
- Might be able to race on Saturday.
- Really?
466
00:35:58,500 --> 00:36:01,700
We gotta get it out of there tonight.
Rosco wants to impound it.
467
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:03,800
Watch your ass, fellas.
468
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:12,900
This is the fastest-burning
fuse you got, Sheev?
469
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,800
It's a Chinese fuse.
470
00:36:27,700 --> 00:36:29,900
- Might be a wet fuse.
- Well, should we check it?
471
00:36:30,100 --> 00:36:32,900
Depends if you like how your face
is configured, pretty boy.
472
00:36:33,100 --> 00:36:34,800
I think you got the wires backwards.
473
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,400
They're supposed to be.
It's a Chinese fuse.
474
00:36:37,500 --> 00:36:39,700
No, backwards from how
they're supposed to be.
475
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,400
You ever been to China?
Have you ever been to China?
476
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,000
I ate Chinese food once.
477
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,700
Well, you don't blow up
mu shu pork, my friend.
478
00:36:46,900 --> 00:36:48,400
I dated a Korean girl in school.
479
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,100
That is a different Oriental nation.
Get an education.
480
00:36:51,300 --> 00:36:53,800
- You got the fuse wrong.
- You know nothing about...
481
00:36:53,900 --> 00:36:56,600
...Chino-Sino-American relations.
- You're missing the point.
482
00:37:08,100 --> 00:37:10,000
Might've used too much.
483
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:16,200
Man, that rattled my sphincter.
484
00:37:20,100 --> 00:37:23,100
What the hell is that? Drugs?
485
00:37:23,300 --> 00:37:24,900
Don't look like no drugs I ever saw.
486
00:37:25,300 --> 00:37:29,200
- What the hell are these numbers?
- It's a core sample.
487
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:34,000
Mining. They drill a hole, take a sample,
send it to the lab, see what they got.
488
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:36,200
- Core samples of what?
- How should I know?
489
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:40,200
Am I wearing a white coat here?
I cut bait and blow shit up for a living.
490
00:37:40,300 --> 00:37:44,300
- Take it to a lab.
- I don't know, maybe at the university?
491
00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:48,300
- Katie-Lynn Johnson's at the university.
- Oh, yeah, that's right.
492
00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:51,300
Man, I always had a thing for that girl.
493
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,800
Remember she used to come by
the farm with those tight little outfits?
494
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:58,600
- No, I can't say I remember that.
- I thought I had her too.
495
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:02,700
Then she pulled a goddamn Keyser Soze
on me, and like that...
496
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,400
...she was gone.
497
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:06,700
You don't remember that?
498
00:38:06,900 --> 00:38:08,300
Well, okay.
499
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:12,100
Unless you need something else blown,
I'll go inside and wash my mongoose.
500
00:38:15,300 --> 00:38:17,100
Okay.
501
00:38:18,100 --> 00:38:20,500
Come on, Luke. Let's get the General.
502
00:38:20,700 --> 00:38:23,000
Why don't we have Cooter stash that.
503
00:38:23,100 --> 00:38:25,200
We'll take his truck,
head to the highway...
504
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:29,800
How would you feel if the General and I
went to Atlanta and left you behind?
505
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:58,800
Ain't she a Georgia peach?
506
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,100
What'd you do,
make a deal with the devil?
507
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:04,300
Luke. Luke. Is that a Hemi?
508
00:39:06,500 --> 00:39:09,500
Me and my buddies lose the Gettysburg
reenactment every other Sunday.
509
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,800
So we figured,
why not let General Lee win one?
510
00:39:12,300 --> 00:39:14,900
I don't know how
we're gonna pay you back, Cooter.
511
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:18,700
Would a BJ from Daisy be within
the realm of possibility?
512
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:20,700
Not gonna happen.
513
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,600
How about a pair
of her still-warm shorts?
514
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:25,200
All right.
515
00:39:25,300 --> 00:39:29,000
Hey, Bo, just win that Hazzard Rally.
That's thanks enough.
516
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:33,300
And when you get that prize money, you
pay me, because that's how it works.
517
00:39:33,500 --> 00:39:35,700
I love you, Cooter.
518
00:39:37,700 --> 00:39:40,300
- I didn't have time to fix everything.
- Right.
519
00:39:42,900 --> 00:39:44,900
Let's get that car.
520
00:40:11,700 --> 00:40:14,800
Get in your cars and get them!
Get after them! Now!
521
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,100
Cooter!
522
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,500
All right.
523
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,700
That's so good, man.
524
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,300
Enough.
525
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:37,400
Man, I'm never gonna get out
of this car again. I'm gonna live in it.
526
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:40,400
I'm gonna eat in it.
And I'm gonna make sweet love to it.
527
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,700
You mean you gonna make
sweet love in it.
528
00:40:42,900 --> 00:40:44,500
Oh, no, I wanna fuck it.
529
00:40:44,700 --> 00:40:47,400
All units, we are in hot pursuit
of them Duke boys...
530
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:51,000
...in their piece-of-shit orange car.
531
00:40:53,700 --> 00:40:55,500
"Piece of... " You son of a bitch.
532
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:16,000
Hey! Get back here!
533
00:41:16,300 --> 00:41:19,200
- Lost Sheep, you out there?
- Hey, Cooter.
534
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:22,700
These fellas ain't gonna be
doing much chasing.
535
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,900
- Thanks, man.
- I'm gonna run right over Billy Prickett.
536
00:41:26,100 --> 00:41:27,800
How about we go to Atlanta first?
537
00:41:27,900 --> 00:41:30,500
All right, cuz.
538
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:36,800
Oh, look at that.
There's your problem right there.
539
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,300
Yeah, that's a shame.
540
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,800
Let's go to Atlanta.
541
00:41:52,700 --> 00:41:54,700
Luke.
542
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:56,600
Luke.
543
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:02,900
I know why it didn't work out with
me and Katie before. It was just timing.
544
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,600
Life is all about timing, you know?
545
00:42:05,900 --> 00:42:09,500
It's my time now.
I'm gonna win that race on Saturday.
546
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:13,400
We're gonna get the farm back.
I got my BFF, you.
547
00:42:14,300 --> 00:42:17,200
And I'm gonna get Katie Johnson,
you watch.
548
00:42:21,500 --> 00:42:23,600
It's my time.
549
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,300
What's going on?
550
00:42:31,100 --> 00:42:35,800
Yeah, baby!
Southern by the grace of God!
551
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:41,700
Well, at least we know
they're nice up here.
552
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:45,500
Hurry up, you're late
for your Klan meeting, asshole.
553
00:42:45,700 --> 00:42:48,300
- Klan meeting?
- Don't listen to her.
554
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:51,800
The South will rise again.
555
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,300
Yee-haw, brother!
556
00:42:54,500 --> 00:42:56,500
What the hell's wrong
with these people?
557
00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:59,900
Nice roof, redneck.
Join us in the 21st century?
558
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:11,000
We're gonna make
some friends up here, huh?
559
00:43:20,100 --> 00:43:22,700
Oh, excuse me.
Can I help you, ma'am?
560
00:43:22,900 --> 00:43:24,700
Daisy! Oh, boy.
561
00:43:24,900 --> 00:43:27,300
Enos, what's Boss doing
taking all that land?
562
00:43:27,500 --> 00:43:31,700
I don't know. They won't tell me. You
gotta go. I'm supposed to arrest you.
563
00:43:31,900 --> 00:43:34,600
- Come on, I'm serious.
- Get. Get out of here.
564
00:43:34,700 --> 00:43:37,900
Hey. You Anus?
565
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,300
No, that's Enos, Mr. Prickett.
566
00:43:42,100 --> 00:43:45,400
Sorry about that. Is Hogg around?
He asked me to come by.
567
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:50,000
Oh, yeah. He's out back
in the garage, Mr. Prickett.
568
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:53,700
Well, howdy, ma'am.
How are you today?
569
00:43:53,900 --> 00:43:56,200
It's just right on out back there.
I'll show you.
570
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,300
Yep, head out that way.
571
00:44:02,300 --> 00:44:04,400
There you go.
572
00:44:06,500 --> 00:44:08,400
There he is.
573
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:10,500
- Hometown hero.
- Hogg.
574
00:44:10,700 --> 00:44:12,400
- How you doing, son?
- Well...
575
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,800
...this is a great place to crap,
but I'm ready to head to Atlanta.
576
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,400
Not before the race.
577
00:44:17,700 --> 00:44:19,900
Don't you worry about that.
578
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:23,400
I want you down at that finish line.
Sign autographs for the kids.
579
00:44:23,500 --> 00:44:25,500
- Yeah, I know the drill.
- I know you do.
580
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:28,600
But I need you there for two hours, son.
Two hours.
581
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,900
Kissing hands and shaking babies.
582
00:44:31,100 --> 00:44:34,800
You got that backwards.
It's shaking hands and kiss the babies.
583
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,900
Oh, yeah? Maybe that's why I lost
that governor's election in '86.
584
00:44:43,500 --> 00:44:45,600
Hogg, what the hell am I doing here?
585
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:47,800
Rosco.
586
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:53,600
Whoa, what is this?
You off the reservation?
587
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:56,500
See how it kind of catches me
around the eyes there?
588
00:44:56,700 --> 00:45:00,000
Look here, I already got sponsors.
589
00:45:00,100 --> 00:45:02,900
What am I supposed
to tell Castrol, Yahoo!?
590
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,500
Tell them it's for charity.
591
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,900
- Is it?
- Sure. Could be.
592
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:12,800
Whatever you say.
I'm gonna win that race by a mile.
593
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,600
It don't matter whose face
is on my car when I do.
594
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:21,000
I don't need you to win the race.
I just need you to show up.
595
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,400
Hey there, Mr. Prickett.
596
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:39,000
Well, hello, Daisy.
597
00:45:39,100 --> 00:45:44,200
I was just walking by, and I saw your car
in the garage there. She's real sexy.
598
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:47,800
Well, thank you.
She's faster than a cheetah on cocaine.
599
00:45:47,900 --> 00:45:49,700
Yeah, I know.
600
00:45:49,900 --> 00:45:52,600
Why is there a picture of Boss Hogg
on your car, though?
601
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:54,900
- Yeah, well, he...
- I read somewhere...
602
00:45:55,100 --> 00:46:00,800
...that Coca-Cola pays you over
$ 100,000 to put their logo on your door.
603
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,600
- You read that?
- That same article...
604
00:46:02,700 --> 00:46:05,600
...mentioned that Budweiser
pays you over $ 100,000...
605
00:46:05,700 --> 00:46:08,400
...to put their logo on your trunk.
- Look, Daisy...
606
00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:11,400
...I'm not much of a reader.
- Boss Hogg's face is sitting...
607
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:15,300
...on over $200,000 worth
of real estate.
608
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:17,000
Is that what he's paying you?
609
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:21,800
Oh, no, no, Daisy,
this race here is for charity.
610
00:46:21,900 --> 00:46:23,900
Really? Which one?
611
00:46:25,700 --> 00:46:27,200
Anal bifida.
612
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,100
Spinal bifida.
613
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,000
It's one of the bifidas.
614
00:46:33,100 --> 00:46:36,900
Have I told you that you're as purty
as a Hazzard County sunset?
615
00:46:37,100 --> 00:46:40,300
Have a good day, Mr. Prickett.
616
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,700
Okay.
617
00:47:00,300 --> 00:47:02,800
Lot of smart people out there.
618
00:47:25,900 --> 00:47:28,100
Look out, Katie.
619
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:33,600
Hello. Hi.
620
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:35,500
- Hello.
- Hello.
621
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,800
- Oh, boy.
- Hi.
622
00:47:39,700 --> 00:47:43,700
You don't think it's too late
to take them SATs, do you?
623
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,500
You gotta keep an open mind
in college.
624
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:55,500
This is it, Luke. I can feel it.
625
00:47:55,700 --> 00:47:58,200
Hey, do you know
where Katie Johnson is?
626
00:47:58,300 --> 00:48:00,200
I think she's in that room right there.
627
00:48:00,300 --> 00:48:02,300
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
628
00:48:05,100 --> 00:48:07,600
- I got a great opening line for Katie.
- What is it?
629
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:09,600
You'll see.
630
00:48:09,700 --> 00:48:12,600
- Katie Johnson?
- She's down the hall.
631
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:16,300
- Cool.
- Come on, down the hall.
632
00:48:18,900 --> 00:48:21,100
Katie Johnson?
633
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:24,500
- She's down the hall.
- Do you guys go to school here?
634
00:48:25,500 --> 00:48:27,700
No, but do you have an application?
635
00:48:28,300 --> 00:48:29,700
Not on me.
636
00:48:31,500 --> 00:48:33,900
Come on, now, focus.
637
00:48:39,100 --> 00:48:41,000
Let's hope she's not in here either.
638
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:44,000
- Katie Johnson?
- Fuck me running!
639
00:48:44,500 --> 00:48:47,400
- You looking for Katie?
- We were.
640
00:48:47,700 --> 00:48:50,600
- You guys Hacky?
- Hacky!
641
00:48:50,700 --> 00:48:53,900
- What about Katie?
- Maybe she's in here.
642
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:03,300
Goodbye, Bo. Bye, Luke.
643
00:49:03,700 --> 00:49:05,600
I guess she wasn't in there.
644
00:49:05,700 --> 00:49:08,300
- We didn't check under the couch.
- Luke! Bo!
645
00:49:08,500 --> 00:49:10,600
- Katie.
- Katie-Lynn.
646
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,200
So he's still doing that?
647
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:21,500
- Did I just faint?
- No.
648
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:23,900
Oh, my God. I can't believe y'all came.
649
00:49:24,900 --> 00:49:27,900
We just wanna pay you visit,
the prettiest girl in Atlanta.
650
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:30,100
What?
651
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:33,700
We just wanna pay a visit
to the prettiest girl in Atlanta.
652
00:49:33,900 --> 00:49:37,000
That's sweet. I can't believe
what happened to y'all's farm.
653
00:49:37,100 --> 00:49:38,600
We're gonna get it back.
654
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:41,700
I love that farm.
I used to have so much fun there.
655
00:49:42,300 --> 00:49:44,000
- See?
- This is my roommate, Annette.
656
00:49:44,100 --> 00:49:46,700
- Annette, this is Bo and Luke.
- Nice to meet you.
657
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:50,100
- Ma'am.
- Annette's from Australia.
658
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:53,600
Let's put another shrimp
on the barbie!
659
00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:59,200
- That's what they say there.
- Okay.
660
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:01,200
What do y'all need
in the geology lab?
661
00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:04,100
It has something to do
with them taking our farm...
662
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:06,900
...but we don't know
what the hell it is.
663
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:11,300
I don't know that they'll let y'all in,
but we'll take you.
664
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:14,700
- We'll get dressed. Y'all wait downstairs.
- We're gonna wait here.
665
00:50:14,900 --> 00:50:17,100
Downstairs is fine.
666
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:23,600
It's happening, Luke.
It's all happening.
667
00:50:32,300 --> 00:50:34,100
I'll give you that, Jesse.
668
00:50:34,300 --> 00:50:37,300
- I'll give you that.
- Will you now?
669
00:50:38,300 --> 00:50:41,100
What are you doing with my land,
Jefferson?
670
00:50:41,900 --> 00:50:44,000
Ain't your land anymore.
671
00:50:44,500 --> 00:50:47,900
Wasn't that long ago you was
a moonshiner too. Remember?
672
00:50:48,100 --> 00:50:50,000
Well, I have reformed from my sins.
673
00:50:50,100 --> 00:50:52,700
I am now an honest businessman.
674
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:54,600
Like sponsoring racecars?
675
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:58,000
What are you getting out of bringing
Billy Prickett down here?
676
00:50:59,500 --> 00:51:03,500
You know, your nephew's won that race
four years in a row.
677
00:51:03,700 --> 00:51:07,400
Now, who's gonna fault me
for breaking up a dynasty?
678
00:51:07,500 --> 00:51:09,600
Well, I know you're rich,
and I know you stink.
679
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:11,600
But you ain't stinking rich.
680
00:51:11,800 --> 00:51:14,100
You wouldn't be throwing
that money at Prickett...
681
00:51:14,300 --> 00:51:16,900
...unless you thought he was
gonna earn you 10 times that.
682
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:21,800
You're a smart man.
So why don't you do the smart thing.
683
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:25,000
Why don't you take your family
and leave.
684
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:28,800
Because, see, now I own that farm.
685
00:51:28,900 --> 00:51:32,400
And you ain't never gonna get it back.
686
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,900
I have all the cards, Jesse.
687
00:51:47,100 --> 00:51:48,800
You don't have spit.
688
00:51:49,300 --> 00:51:51,300
It ain't over yet.
689
00:51:56,100 --> 00:51:59,200
Hey, Bo, I love your car.
She really rumbles.
690
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:02,100
It's actually a he. Right, Katie?
691
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:10,600
I ain't even speeding.
692
00:52:28,500 --> 00:52:30,800
You know how fast you were going?
693
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:35,800
- What?
- How fast you were going.
694
00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:39,400
- I don't know. Ten?
- Eight.
695
00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:44,600
- Isn't the speed limit 10?
- Yeah. It is.
696
00:52:45,100 --> 00:52:47,600
You guys police?
697
00:52:47,700 --> 00:52:49,400
Campus police.
698
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,000
Mother of God.
699
00:53:06,900 --> 00:53:08,500
Oh, wait.
700
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:22,900
I know it's a shame to hide your beauty
like this, but it's for your own good.
701
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:24,400
What?
702
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,300
I'm not even gonna respond to that.
That's crazy.
703
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:31,500
I know, I'll miss you too.
I'll be right back.
704
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,900
All right, let's go. Let's go.
705
00:53:40,300 --> 00:53:44,600
Katie-Lynn seems like a girl you could
settle down with, don't you think, Luke?
706
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:46,600
- Yeah.
- I don't know, fellas.
707
00:53:46,700 --> 00:53:49,000
I don't think they're gonna
let us walk in.
708
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:53,800
You'll think of something, Katie.
You always do. Remember that..?
709
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:56,600
Oh, you're so pretty.
710
00:54:08,300 --> 00:54:10,800
I have an idea.
711
00:54:17,700 --> 00:54:21,100
- Can I help you?
- You're just the guy we're looking for...
712
00:54:21,300 --> 00:54:23,000
- Royce.
- Royce..?
713
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:26,900
- Royce Williams.
- Royce Williams, maybe you can help us.
714
00:54:27,100 --> 00:54:32,200
We're here looking for the brightest
young geologists for high-paying jobs.
715
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:33,900
Maybe you've been by our booth.
716
00:54:34,100 --> 00:54:37,400
- You're from Kamasaka Technologies?
- That's right.
717
00:54:37,500 --> 00:54:41,300
I'm Mr. Ichinowa,
and this is my colleague...
718
00:54:41,500 --> 00:54:43,000
...Yoko Takanoshi.
719
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:45,900
Right on.
720
00:54:46,700 --> 00:54:48,500
You said you were Japanese?
721
00:54:49,100 --> 00:54:50,300
We converted.
722
00:54:51,900 --> 00:54:55,400
Your professor tells us you're some
kind of super-genius or something.
723
00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:59,800
- Really? On my last test I got a C-minus.
- Hey, that's good.
724
00:54:59,900 --> 00:55:02,900
- That's real good.
- You think..?
725
00:55:03,100 --> 00:55:05,400
You just might be
Kamasaka Tech material.
726
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,400
You just gotta pass this one little test.
727
00:55:08,500 --> 00:55:12,300
You just tell us what this is right here.
728
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:14,800
Looks like a core sample.
729
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:18,100
- Man, that's good.
- He's good.
730
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:21,800
- Core sample of what?
- Oh, of course.
731
00:55:38,300 --> 00:55:41,100
- What are you doing?
- What?
732
00:55:41,300 --> 00:55:45,500
- What the fuck was that?
- Relax.
733
00:55:54,900 --> 00:55:56,700
Damn! Damn!
734
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:58,700
These are my good Levi's.
735
00:55:58,900 --> 00:56:01,000
Let's not lose focus here, Royce.
736
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:02,700
Yes, sir, Mr. Takanoshi.
737
00:56:02,900 --> 00:56:05,500
- What'd you call me?
- Mr. Takanoshi?
738
00:56:06,100 --> 00:56:09,300
Right. That's my name.
739
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:14,500
- Thought it might be drugs or something.
- I think I know what it is.
740
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:29,500
Are you really with
Kamasaka Technologies?
741
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:32,400
Damn it, we are high-powered
Japanese executives.
742
00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:35,200
We work hard,
and we play even harder.
743
00:56:35,300 --> 00:56:37,000
Now, tell us what you see there...
744
00:56:37,100 --> 00:56:40,200
...or we'll go find another candidate
at Georgia Polytech.
745
00:56:40,300 --> 00:56:43,200
It's anthracite.
746
00:56:43,700 --> 00:56:47,000
- Coal.
- Coal in Hazzard?
747
00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:50,400
- What's the street value of this?
- This much? Nothing.
748
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:53,000
A good-sized mine? Could be millions.
749
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:55,900
Can you show us what
a good-sized mine looks like?
750
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:58,100
Yeah.
751
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:04,500
Here's what it used to look like.
And this is the after.
752
00:57:09,200 --> 00:57:11,300
Damn.
753
00:57:11,700 --> 00:57:15,600
- Hogg's gonna do this to Hazzard?
- The hell he is.
754
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:18,700
Mr. Kamasaka? We have to go.
The plane is leaving.
755
00:57:18,900 --> 00:57:22,800
Congratulations, Royce. You got the job.
How does 24,000 yen a year sound?
756
00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:25,100
Sounds like 40 bucks.
757
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:26,600
Way to go.
758
00:57:26,700 --> 00:57:30,100
All right, man. See you in Beijing.
759
00:57:34,100 --> 00:57:38,000
- You see two guys come through here?
- You mean those two Japanese guys?
760
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:59,600
Get me Atlanta P.D. Damn.
761
00:57:59,700 --> 00:58:01,000
Strip-mining?
762
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:02,600
Why, that slimy bastard.
763
00:58:03,100 --> 00:58:04,600
Here's another little nugget.
764
00:58:04,700 --> 00:58:07,800
Hogg has been paying
that kid Prickett a lot of money...
765
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,300
...to race here Saturday.
- He's paying him?
766
00:58:10,900 --> 00:58:14,100
Y'all better get your asses back here
quick as you can, got it?
767
00:58:14,300 --> 00:58:16,700
Ten-four, Shepherd,
this is Lost Sheep out.
768
00:58:18,300 --> 00:58:21,000
What's this? What's these crackers
doing in our place?
769
00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:24,800
Turns out Prickett came back because
Hogg paid him a assload of cash.
770
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:28,100
Don't mean Billy has anything
to do with strip-mining.
771
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:29,900
You got to be kidding me.
772
00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:32,500
Oh, shit. Roll them up.
773
00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:36,300
- What the hell is this, man?
- Looks like somebody's lost.
774
00:58:36,300 --> 00:58:39,800
Look, a couple of white boys playing
black. Is that's what's going on?
775
00:58:39,900 --> 00:58:43,500
Actually, we were at the geology lab
for some environmental stuff, and...
776
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:48,600
No, I get it. They on one of these
reality shows.
777
00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:51,700
- Who Wanna Get They Ass Kicked?
- Yeah.
778
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:56,400
Why don't you two hillbillies
join us up here for a minute?
779
00:58:56,500 --> 00:58:58,500
Actually, we prefer
Appalachian-Americans.
780
00:58:58,700 --> 00:59:00,300
Man, get out the car!
781
00:59:02,500 --> 00:59:06,300
Now, which one of you two
brothers is Michelangelo?
782
00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:12,300
There's a certain creek that people
sometimes canoe up without a paddle.
783
00:59:12,500 --> 00:59:17,200
You could say that the Duke boys
were on that particular creek right now.
784
00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:19,600
Let's kick they ass, Jerry!
785
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:24,000
Never thought I'd say this,
but, hot damn, it's the cops.
786
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:27,400
There goes the canoe.
787
00:59:32,500 --> 00:59:34,600
- Give me your shoelaces.
- What?
788
00:59:34,700 --> 00:59:39,100
These guys over there gave me theirs.
See, I'm gonna fashion myself a lasso.
789
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:42,900
When the jailer comes in,
I'm gonna rope his keys.
790
00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:47,100
Luke and Bo Duke are home free.
Period, end of story.
791
00:59:47,300 --> 00:59:50,400
I got on cowboy boots, cuz.
792
00:59:50,500 --> 00:59:53,300
I like your style.
793
00:59:53,500 --> 00:59:55,400
You gonna need those shoelaces?
794
00:59:55,500 --> 00:59:58,400
We gonna have to get out of here.
795
00:59:58,700 --> 01:00:03,000
Hey, Yul Brynner. We gotta make
a phone call. We gotta call our lawyer.
796
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:04,800
What the hell are we in here for?
797
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:09,600
Well, where should I start?
798
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:17,600
We know you're gonna
strip-mine Hazzard.
799
01:00:17,700 --> 01:00:21,200
Do you, now? Well, that's good.
800
01:00:21,300 --> 01:00:23,700
Guess where I'm gonna sink
that first drill.
801
01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:26,500
Right down in the middle
of your bedroom.
802
01:00:26,700 --> 01:00:30,500
Y'all do still share a bunk bed, right?
803
01:00:30,700 --> 01:00:33,900
Hey, that's a phat suit there.
What, you some type of pimp?
804
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:41,200
What has strip-mining got to do with you
paying Billy Prickett to race tomorrow?
805
01:00:41,600 --> 01:00:44,400
You like magic, Luke? Sleight of hand?
806
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:50,700
See, while you're looking over here,
something's really happening over here.
807
01:00:50,900 --> 01:00:56,300
You see, despite the fact
that I now own your beloved farm...
808
01:00:56,400 --> 01:01:01,100
...I can't legally mine it,
because the county won't let me.
809
01:01:01,300 --> 01:01:03,700
I need to hold a public hearing,
you know...
810
01:01:03,900 --> 01:01:09,400
...to give the citizens of Hazzard
a chance to object.
811
01:01:10,100 --> 01:01:14,000
And let me guess, you're going to hold
the hearing during the rally tomorrow?
812
01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:18,500
And if nobody knows about the hearing,
there won't be anyone there to object.
813
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:21,500
- There you go.
- Sleight of hand.
814
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:24,000
- Sleight of hand.
- Grow the fingernails out.
815
01:01:24,100 --> 01:01:27,100
Then pop some fingernail polish
on them bitches.
816
01:01:28,500 --> 01:01:30,700
- Is Billy Prickett in on it?
- Prickett?
817
01:01:32,700 --> 01:01:37,400
- Prickett's just collecting a paycheck.
- We ain't gonna let you get away with it.
818
01:01:37,500 --> 01:01:42,300
Really? Tomorrow, if you happen to be
strolling by the courthouse about noon...
819
01:01:42,500 --> 01:01:45,800
...you might wanna rush right in there
and voice your objections.
820
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:47,500
Voice this.
821
01:01:49,600 --> 01:01:52,400
Dadgum it. I just remembered.
822
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:56,000
Tomorrow morning
you're going to the Georgia work farm.
823
01:01:56,000 --> 01:02:00,200
And I hear they have a rather
strict policy on weekend passes.
824
01:02:00,300 --> 01:02:03,300
Yo, B. You need to pop
a feather in that hat, yo.
825
01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:06,100
Then your man ho's will be having
more respect for you.
826
01:02:06,500 --> 01:02:08,200
I have $ 100 right here...
827
01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:11,100
...for whoever knocks
that loudmouth son of a bitch out.
828
01:02:13,100 --> 01:02:14,500
Thank you.
829
01:02:14,500 --> 01:02:17,100
Now, break some rocks for me, boys.
830
01:02:17,300 --> 01:02:19,900
Take care, now, you hear?
831
01:02:20,100 --> 01:02:22,200
Bye-bye.
832
01:02:23,400 --> 01:02:27,000
Don't you know you're not supposed
to wear white after Labor Day?
833
01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:47,600
All right, here's what we're gonna do.
834
01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:52,200
When we stop for gas, we call up Cooter
and tell him to put a pig in the road, right.
835
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:56,600
Then when the cops are moving the pig,
Cooter hooks up a cable to the bumper.
836
01:02:56,700 --> 01:03:00,000
Car drives away,
the hook will pull out the whole chassis.
837
01:03:00,200 --> 01:03:02,600
He can't drive without a chassis...
838
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:04,500
All right, shut up back there!
839
01:03:04,600 --> 01:03:07,700
My cousin's starting to go crazy.
We gotta get him to a hospital.
840
01:03:07,800 --> 01:03:10,100
I think he done caught the fever,
or something.
841
01:03:10,300 --> 01:03:13,900
That's what happens
when you're humping livestock, hillbilly.
842
01:03:13,900 --> 01:03:16,300
Can we help you guys out
with anything up there...
843
01:03:16,500 --> 01:03:18,700
...oblige you with a reach-around
or something?
844
01:03:18,900 --> 01:03:21,200
Of course, you'd have to un-cuff us first.
845
01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:24,700
Sarge, if you and me was to have
a chase, you think you could catch me?
846
01:03:25,300 --> 01:03:28,400
- Appears to me you caught already, son.
- I'm serious.
847
01:03:28,600 --> 01:03:32,500
If I had my car and you was in this one,
you really think you could catch me?
848
01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:35,300
Because, bubba,
this car feels kind of slow to me.
849
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:38,400
She's got plenty under the hood,
don't you worry about that.
850
01:03:38,500 --> 01:03:40,200
- No balls.
- No balls.
851
01:03:40,300 --> 01:03:42,500
No balls. No balls.
852
01:03:42,700 --> 01:03:44,100
- No balls.
- No balls.
853
01:03:44,200 --> 01:03:46,200
You wanna see balls?
854
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:49,200
- No balls. No balls.
- Will you slow this car down?
855
01:03:49,400 --> 01:03:52,700
You letting them get your panties
in a bunch. You the officer.
856
01:03:52,900 --> 01:03:55,300
Shut the hell up back there. All right?
857
01:03:55,500 --> 01:03:58,900
- No balls.
- Oh, my God. Will you look at that?
858
01:03:59,100 --> 01:04:02,100
You need a napkin
to eat them drumsticks, boy.
859
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:06,500
- Goddamn it.
- Nice driving!
860
01:04:12,400 --> 01:04:14,400
What seems to be the problem, sugar?
861
01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:17,600
I think something bounced up
into my undercarriage.
862
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:20,100
- Will you take a look?
- Ma'am, I'd be pleased...
863
01:04:20,300 --> 01:04:22,600
...to check your undercarriage.
- Thank you.
864
01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:25,400
I stopped you
because your taillight is out.
865
01:04:25,500 --> 01:04:27,300
Stopped me? Sir, you hit me.
866
01:04:27,500 --> 01:04:30,500
Because your taillight is out,
and we couldn't see you brake.
867
01:04:30,700 --> 01:04:33,000
- You're gonna write me a ticket?
- Yep.
868
01:04:33,400 --> 01:04:35,200
This is ridiculous!
869
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:40,400
Is there anything I can help you out
with today, ma'am?
870
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:43,500
Do cute cops grow on trees
around here or what?
871
01:04:43,700 --> 01:04:47,700
Well, I, you know... Pushups.
Kind of you to notice.
872
01:04:47,900 --> 01:04:50,900
Let me see what's going on
under your hood here.
873
01:04:52,700 --> 01:04:56,400
- Damn, that's hot.
- Here. Maybe this'll help.
874
01:05:00,200 --> 01:05:03,600
- Bless you.
- No, no, no. My undercarriage.
875
01:05:03,800 --> 01:05:06,200
- Your undercarriage?
- Yeah.
876
01:05:13,500 --> 01:05:16,900
Looks like you boys
have the magic touch.
877
01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:29,100
I was about to seal the deal
when you came over.
878
01:05:29,300 --> 01:05:31,500
What? She was looking at me
the whole time.
879
01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:35,800
- Let's get out of here.
- Where are the goddamn keys?
880
01:05:41,200 --> 01:05:43,700
Y'all think you can catch me now?
881
01:05:58,100 --> 01:06:00,000
Buckle up, this might get exciting.
882
01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:03,600
That's all right. We'll be long gone
before another cop shows up.
883
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:06,200
Get skinny!
884
01:06:17,400 --> 01:06:19,900
- Okay, where's the highway?
- Don't you have a map?
885
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:22,500
Wait. I got it.
886
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:27,300
Turn left up here!
887
01:06:27,500 --> 01:06:28,800
Turn left, turn left!
888
01:06:30,300 --> 01:06:32,300
Damn it, I said, left!
889
01:06:32,500 --> 01:06:34,900
- You said your left!
- My left is your left.
890
01:06:34,900 --> 01:06:37,600
I'm gonna need
these directions faster.
891
01:06:40,400 --> 01:06:43,400
It's okay.
I know exactly where we're at.
892
01:06:50,900 --> 01:06:52,600
So, girls, how's the back seat?
893
01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:56,800
I haven't had this much fun since
we used to sneak up to the hayloft.
894
01:06:58,300 --> 01:07:01,400
You remember those tight little outfits
you used to make me wear.
895
01:07:06,700 --> 01:07:10,300
- I didn't know how to break it to you.
- You didn't know?
896
01:07:10,500 --> 01:07:12,300
Luke, you said he was okay with it.
897
01:07:15,900 --> 01:07:18,300
Look at the road, Bo.
898
01:07:18,500 --> 01:07:20,500
Bo, look at the road.
899
01:07:21,700 --> 01:07:24,900
- Look at the road.
- Supposed to be my time.
900
01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:27,500
Bo!
901
01:07:48,600 --> 01:07:49,900
I think I'm gonna chunder.
902
01:07:50,100 --> 01:07:52,000
- Is that bad?
- That means "vomit. "
903
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:53,700
- Not in the car.
- Bo!
904
01:08:20,300 --> 01:08:23,300
You told me she wasn't
emotionally available for me.
905
01:08:23,500 --> 01:08:26,500
That it was better to lose a lover
than to love a loser!
906
01:08:26,700 --> 01:08:29,100
Because you would faint
every time you saw her!
907
01:08:29,300 --> 01:08:31,800
I don't faint.
908
01:08:33,800 --> 01:08:35,200
You called me a loser?
909
01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:37,400
I was trying to make him feel better.
910
01:08:37,500 --> 01:08:39,100
Can you just let me out here?
911
01:08:52,900 --> 01:08:56,100
Bo, this is some of the best driving
I ever seen you do.
912
01:08:56,300 --> 01:08:59,300
- Ain't that right, girls?
- Great driving, Bo. Great driving.
913
01:08:59,500 --> 01:09:01,100
Don't kiss my ass.
914
01:09:06,500 --> 01:09:09,500
- Bo, you gotta get us out of here.
- I can't hear you.
915
01:09:09,700 --> 01:09:12,700
- You're being ridiculous, Bo.
- Life is ridiculous, Katie.
916
01:09:12,700 --> 01:09:14,800
I really need a plastic bag now.
917
01:09:20,700 --> 01:09:22,600
What is the purpose of this circle?
918
01:09:26,300 --> 01:09:27,600
How do we get out of here?
919
01:09:27,800 --> 01:09:30,000
- Take this right.
- I'm not listening to you.
920
01:09:30,200 --> 01:09:32,100
Take a right here.
921
01:09:33,600 --> 01:09:35,000
Hell.
922
01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:47,100
You're scaring the girls.
Get back on the road.
923
01:09:47,200 --> 01:09:50,100
- Say sorry for stealing Katie.
- You were never together!
924
01:09:50,300 --> 01:09:51,900
I liked her. You betrayed that.
925
01:09:52,100 --> 01:09:54,800
- I liked her too!
- I liked her first.
926
01:09:55,700 --> 01:09:56,900
Calm down, Bo!
927
01:09:57,100 --> 01:09:59,100
I will calm down
when he says he's sorry!
928
01:09:59,300 --> 01:10:01,400
- Say you're sorry.
- I ain't saying it.
929
01:10:01,600 --> 01:10:03,800
Have you made your peace
with God yet, Luke?
930
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:07,500
Because you're about to
meet your maker!
931
01:10:07,700 --> 01:10:09,200
- Just say you're sorry!
- No.
932
01:10:09,400 --> 01:10:13,000
We had a good time,
and I'm not gonna apologize for that.
933
01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:31,400
Okay, I'm sorry.
934
01:10:31,500 --> 01:10:34,000
Fine. I'll take Annette.
935
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:39,400
That was fun.
936
01:10:47,400 --> 01:10:49,900
Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep,
are you out there?
937
01:10:50,100 --> 01:10:51,500
Uncle Jesse, where are you?
938
01:10:51,600 --> 01:10:55,400
There's a hearing at the courthouse.
We gotta get everybody over there now.
939
01:10:55,500 --> 01:10:57,900
Sounds like a mighty fine plan, Lucas.
940
01:10:58,000 --> 01:11:00,600
Only got one wrinkle to it.
941
01:11:00,700 --> 01:11:07,200
You do that, could be very bad
for Jesse and Pauline's health.
942
01:11:07,400 --> 01:11:09,200
Hogg, you lay one hand on them...
943
01:11:09,400 --> 01:11:12,400
...and I'll shove a apple in your mouth
and my foot up your ass.
944
01:11:12,500 --> 01:11:14,100
Well, you bring the Vaseline.
945
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:16,500
We'll make it a party.
946
01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:20,200
You two boys stay out of Hazzard,
and I mean it this time.
947
01:11:20,400 --> 01:11:23,100
- Where you think they got them?
- I don't know.
948
01:11:23,300 --> 01:11:26,600
- Hogg's never gone this far before.
- You ready to go that far?
949
01:11:27,300 --> 01:11:30,900
Cousin, I'm always ready
to go that far.
950
01:11:44,000 --> 01:11:47,300
What are we doing here?
This is Derek Sheevington's place.
951
01:11:47,500 --> 01:11:51,700
Yeah. Pretty good chance this is gonna
get ugly, so we're gonna drop you here.
952
01:11:51,800 --> 01:11:54,800
He got caught drinking
out of the toilet in the girls' bathroom.
953
01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:58,600
I know, I know. But we're gonna need
you girls to work with him.
954
01:11:59,700 --> 01:12:01,000
Oh, good God.
955
01:12:03,800 --> 01:12:06,500
Why, Katie Johnson, is that you?
956
01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:08,400
Boy, you filled out real nice.
957
01:12:08,600 --> 01:12:11,400
Yeah. You filled out
real nice too, Sheev.
958
01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:15,600
What's going on, Sheev? Looks like
we're gonna need some of those toys.
959
01:12:15,700 --> 01:12:19,500
Leave them two girls here,
I'll give you anything you want.
960
01:12:19,700 --> 01:12:22,200
Come on in. I'll put a stew on.
961
01:12:31,700 --> 01:12:35,600
- Hazzard County Police Department.
- Enos, this is Boss Hogg.
962
01:12:35,800 --> 01:12:37,800
Me and Rosco are over
at the Duke place.
963
01:12:38,000 --> 01:12:41,800
- If anybody wants us, we'll be here.
- Well, that's mighty consid...
964
01:12:44,300 --> 01:12:48,800
Rosco, I'm going over
and join the governor at the rally.
965
01:12:49,000 --> 01:12:52,800
Do not be late
going to the courthouse.
966
01:12:52,900 --> 01:12:56,200
Boss, how come you told old Enos there
where we was at?
967
01:12:59,600 --> 01:13:02,100
You remember the time
we tried to fix the rodeo?
968
01:13:02,300 --> 01:13:06,000
- Yeah.
- It was Enos that told the Dukes about it.
969
01:13:06,400 --> 01:13:09,900
Then we tried to spread those rumors
about the Mad Cow Disease...
970
01:13:10,100 --> 01:13:14,300
...so my chicken factories
would make a little more profit.
971
01:13:14,300 --> 01:13:16,800
It was Enos that told the Duke boys.
972
01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:19,600
So you want them Duke boys
to come out here?
973
01:13:51,800 --> 01:13:57,000
Enos, where's Boss Hogg and Rosco?
974
01:13:57,200 --> 01:13:59,600
They're at your farm.
975
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:02,300
Thank you, Enos.
976
01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:09,400
That might be a new record.
977
01:14:15,200 --> 01:14:17,700
What? Okay, thanks, Daisy.
978
01:14:19,700 --> 01:14:21,000
He's at our farm.
979
01:14:23,400 --> 01:14:25,500
Hey. Hey, look, there's Prickett.
980
01:14:26,200 --> 01:14:28,400
- So?
- He can help us.
981
01:14:28,600 --> 01:14:31,500
He don't care about Hazzard.
He's getting paid to be here.
982
01:14:31,500 --> 01:14:33,800
Oh, man, you're wrong.
He's from here.
983
01:14:41,100 --> 01:14:44,100
- You out of your goddamn mind?
- Hey, Billy.
984
01:14:44,200 --> 01:14:48,100
- Boss Hogg's gonna strip-mine Hazzard.
- Just hold your horses.
985
01:14:48,200 --> 01:14:51,400
- Who's stripping?
- He's playing you, man.
986
01:14:51,500 --> 01:14:54,100
- He paid you to come and race...
- Just save your breath.
987
01:14:54,300 --> 01:14:57,100
- I already know.
- You already know?
988
01:14:58,700 --> 01:15:02,300
- But this is your hometown.
- I hate to break this to you, Bo-Bo...
989
01:15:02,500 --> 01:15:05,100
...but this place is a shithole.
990
01:15:05,300 --> 01:15:09,200
If it wasn't a strip mine,
it'd be a strip mall.
991
01:15:10,900 --> 01:15:15,400
Kind of like one of them outlets where
everything's reduced prices and...
992
01:15:15,400 --> 01:15:19,100
Hell, they don't even have an Outback
Steakhouse down here. Am I right?
993
01:15:19,300 --> 01:15:22,100
- Right as pie, Billy.
- Saddle up, Dil.
994
01:15:26,500 --> 01:15:30,800
Look at the bright side, Bo-Bo. At least
you didn't have to race me today.
995
01:15:30,900 --> 01:15:34,700
Because I would've left that little Tonka
toy you drive at the starting stripe.
996
01:15:34,900 --> 01:15:37,300
- Tonka.
- I'm gonna kill him.
997
01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:39,700
Hey, hey, hey!
998
01:15:39,900 --> 01:15:42,100
- What about Uncle Jesse?
- Wanna ride this stag?
999
01:15:42,300 --> 01:15:45,700
- You wanna rodeo with this clown?
- Uncle Jesse's old, Luke.
1000
01:15:45,800 --> 01:15:47,500
He's had a good run.
1001
01:15:47,700 --> 01:15:53,300
Besides, if he passes, God have mercy
on his soul, we get the farm.
1002
01:15:56,200 --> 01:15:59,300
I'm just playing with you, man.
Let's go get him.
1003
01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:12,500
They're here.
1004
01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:20,600
Cooter, you ready out there?
1005
01:16:20,700 --> 01:16:24,000
You get Rosco out of there,
Daisy and I'll take care of the rest.
1006
01:16:24,100 --> 01:16:27,200
What do you say we smoke
the varmint out of his hole?
1007
01:16:29,900 --> 01:16:33,300
Hey, Rosco, come on out,
you fat son of a bitch!
1008
01:16:39,500 --> 01:16:42,000
- Cletus, get your butt out there.
- Thank you, Rosco.
1009
01:16:56,200 --> 01:16:58,900
- Let me know if you're gonna puke!
- Oh, you'll know first!
1010
01:17:06,100 --> 01:17:09,500
All right, boys! Y'all come on
out of there with your hands up.
1011
01:17:11,100 --> 01:17:13,400
- Hey, Rosco!
- Hi, Boo-Boo.
1012
01:17:24,200 --> 01:17:26,500
I didn't know we had so many pigs
on the farm.
1013
01:17:38,300 --> 01:17:41,400
- I call this "painting the fence. "
- I think you missed a spot.
1014
01:17:45,500 --> 01:17:47,500
Look out, look out!
1015
01:17:47,700 --> 01:17:50,000
- You gonna get us out of here?
- I'm working on it!
1016
01:18:05,900 --> 01:18:08,000
Man, they're hauling ass, pick it up!
1017
01:18:18,000 --> 01:18:20,300
- You gonna make that?
- I'm planning on it.
1018
01:18:23,400 --> 01:18:25,300
Hold on, Luke.
1019
01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:30,800
I'll go in this direction now!
1020
01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:47,200
All right, Jesse. I'm arresting those...
1021
01:18:47,800 --> 01:18:50,900
Jesse? Jesse?
1022
01:18:53,900 --> 01:18:55,900
Courthouse.
1023
01:19:04,300 --> 01:19:07,900
Attention!
Attention, good people of Hazzard!
1024
01:19:08,100 --> 01:19:10,900
Life as we know it is about to end.
1025
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:15,800
As we speak, dark forces are conspiring
to strip-mine our land.
1026
01:19:16,000 --> 01:19:18,300
Follow me to the courthouse,
and we'll save you!
1027
01:19:20,200 --> 01:19:24,300
Yeah, right, Sheev. Last year
the CIA was brainwashing our cows.
1028
01:19:25,000 --> 01:19:26,400
Get a job, man.
1029
01:19:27,700 --> 01:19:29,500
Hey, Sheev. Sheev.
1030
01:19:29,700 --> 01:19:33,700
- Go back to your spaceship.
- I'm serious. Come on!
1031
01:19:34,800 --> 01:19:35,900
Bye, Sheev.
1032
01:19:50,100 --> 01:19:52,100
It might be good
if you helped out here.
1033
01:19:52,200 --> 01:19:54,400
- Hell, move over, I'll drive.
- No way.
1034
01:19:54,500 --> 01:19:56,400
I'm still hoping to survive this thing.
1035
01:19:58,400 --> 01:20:00,000
Goddamn it. Son of a bitch.
1036
01:20:03,400 --> 01:20:06,300
I like the way you think, cuz.
Yeah, boy!
1037
01:20:24,800 --> 01:20:26,300
Hold on.
1038
01:20:41,100 --> 01:20:43,500
Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep,
are you out there?
1039
01:20:44,100 --> 01:20:45,300
Go for Lost Sheep.
1040
01:20:45,400 --> 01:20:47,600
- Free and clear.
- Good.
1041
01:20:47,800 --> 01:20:50,300
Sheev's making sure everyone
goes to the hearing.
1042
01:20:50,400 --> 01:20:52,200
- I'll see you in town.
- Over and out.
1043
01:20:52,300 --> 01:20:53,800
Let's get the hell out of here.
1044
01:20:59,100 --> 01:21:03,000
- Barn door, coming up.
- Yeah, I see it. Hold on!
1045
01:21:25,300 --> 01:21:27,000
The General!
1046
01:21:27,300 --> 01:21:29,000
Let's head to the courthouse!
1047
01:21:33,200 --> 01:21:36,100
End of the World to Lost Sheep,
End of the World to Lost Sheep.
1048
01:21:36,300 --> 01:21:38,300
- Come in, Lost Sheep.
- What do you got?
1049
01:21:38,500 --> 01:21:40,800
- Everybody headed into town?
- That's a negative.
1050
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:42,400
Repeat, that's a negative.
1051
01:21:42,600 --> 01:21:45,200
No one listened.
They threw hot dogs at us.
1052
01:21:46,100 --> 01:21:48,900
- Did you tell them about the strip mine?
- Of course I did.
1053
01:21:49,500 --> 01:21:52,600
Were you wearing a armadillo helmet
when you told them about it?
1054
01:21:54,900 --> 01:21:56,200
No.
1055
01:21:57,200 --> 01:21:58,700
Okay, Lost Sheep out.
1056
01:21:59,700 --> 01:22:01,400
No one's heading in to town?
1057
01:22:01,500 --> 01:22:05,500
If we don't get to that courthouse
by noon, there ain't gonna be no town.
1058
01:22:08,400 --> 01:22:12,200
- Well, we still got time for Plan B.
- I like Plan B.
1059
01:22:12,300 --> 01:22:13,500
- Plan B.
- Plan B.
1060
01:22:13,700 --> 01:22:15,900
When you're flying by the seat
of your pants...
1061
01:22:16,100 --> 01:22:19,200
... nothing sounds more official
than a Plan B.
1062
01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:23,700
Don't worry, cuz,
I'll get them to the courthouse.
1063
01:22:47,700 --> 01:22:50,900
This emergency hearing
is now in session.
1064
01:22:52,400 --> 01:22:54,500
Rosco, where is everybody?
1065
01:22:56,000 --> 01:22:57,400
I'm here.
1066
01:22:58,100 --> 01:22:59,400
Well, we have until noon.
1067
01:23:40,200 --> 01:23:44,600
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls...
1068
01:23:44,700 --> 01:23:49,700
...it's my honor today
to introduce my friend...
1069
01:23:49,700 --> 01:23:55,900
...and the friend of everybody in the
greatest state of the United States...
1070
01:23:58,700 --> 01:24:04,300
...the governor, James T. Applewhite!
1071
01:24:04,500 --> 01:24:06,800
Thank you. Thank you.
1072
01:24:08,200 --> 01:24:09,800
Ladies and gentlemen...
1073
01:24:09,900 --> 01:24:14,900
...welcome to the
70th Annual Hazzard Road Rally!
1074
01:24:17,100 --> 01:24:20,200
Drivers, start your engines!
1075
01:24:31,300 --> 01:24:35,600
Just have a couple pi�a coladas
waiting for me at the finish line, Dil.
1076
01:24:35,800 --> 01:24:37,500
Here comes the heat.
1077
01:24:41,500 --> 01:24:43,200
There they go.
1078
01:24:49,200 --> 01:24:51,100
Come on, come on, come on.
1079
01:25:12,000 --> 01:25:13,900
He's in the race!
1080
01:25:45,200 --> 01:25:48,500
It has been confirmed that the
orange car that entered the race...
1081
01:25:48,600 --> 01:25:51,500
...is in fact the same car
that tore up Atlanta this morning.
1082
01:25:51,600 --> 01:25:55,700
It seems that the "orange-car fugitives"
are from right here in Hazzard County.
1083
01:25:55,900 --> 01:25:58,900
State and local authorities
are trying to subdue the vehicle...
1084
01:25:59,100 --> 01:26:00,700
...known as the General Lee.
1085
01:26:00,900 --> 01:26:04,700
Well, General-Lee speaking, I'd say those
cops are in for a pretty tough time.
1086
01:26:04,900 --> 01:26:07,100
I'm Rick Shakely.
Back to you, Marty.
1087
01:26:12,600 --> 01:26:15,800
This is Boss Hogg.
The Dukes are on the course.
1088
01:26:16,000 --> 01:26:21,900
I want all available vehicles to shut down
the road to the courthouse!
1089
01:26:22,100 --> 01:26:24,400
- We're gonna need to clear a path.
- You got it.
1090
01:26:28,100 --> 01:26:32,400
Hey, Dil, what's the word
on those C�line Dion tickets?
1091
01:26:33,300 --> 01:26:37,400
Well, of course I wanna go backstage.
Don't be dumb.
1092
01:27:29,400 --> 01:27:30,600
Damn.
1093
01:27:43,900 --> 01:27:48,000
Enos. I want you
down to the courthouse. I...
1094
01:27:49,500 --> 01:27:50,900
Someone moved my car.
1095
01:27:52,800 --> 01:27:56,700
Enos, you dipstick,
did somebody move my car?
1096
01:27:57,300 --> 01:28:00,400
Hell, let's just sack up
and shoot the bastard.
1097
01:28:03,000 --> 01:28:05,600
Holy shit!
1098
01:28:06,100 --> 01:28:08,100
Luke, where the hell are you?
1099
01:28:23,600 --> 01:28:26,500
- Good God almighty.
- It's about time!
1100
01:28:26,700 --> 01:28:29,500
- How's the race going?
- How's it look like it's going?
1101
01:29:17,100 --> 01:29:18,700
Why, you dirty son of a bitch.
1102
01:29:22,400 --> 01:29:24,200
Hey, go easy on that.
1103
01:29:24,400 --> 01:29:28,400
For what I'm getting ready to do,
I don't wanna remember a lot of it.
1104
01:29:34,700 --> 01:29:36,500
You know why tornadoes and blonds...
1105
01:29:36,600 --> 01:29:38,700
...are so much alike?
- No.
1106
01:29:38,800 --> 01:29:43,500
At first, there's a lot of sucking
and blowing, and then you lose your house.
1107
01:29:48,500 --> 01:29:51,400
Know what you get when you cross
a donkey with an onion?
1108
01:29:51,500 --> 01:29:53,100
- No.
- You get a piece of ass...
1109
01:29:53,300 --> 01:29:56,200
...that'll bring a tear to your eye.
1110
01:30:01,200 --> 01:30:02,700
You thinking about throwing it?
1111
01:30:02,900 --> 01:30:05,100
Oh, I'll throw it.
I was thinking about pussy.
1112
01:30:12,800 --> 01:30:14,900
You know why divorces
are so expensive?
1113
01:30:15,100 --> 01:30:17,700
- No.
- Because they're worth it.
1114
01:30:20,600 --> 01:30:22,700
Fire in the hole.
1115
01:30:28,500 --> 01:30:32,200
Hey, Bo, take it home.
The coast is clear.
1116
01:30:44,200 --> 01:30:46,100
Here we go again.
1117
01:30:46,200 --> 01:30:48,400
Okay, I'm gonna get those cops
to follow me.
1118
01:30:48,500 --> 01:30:51,300
When I do, tow those cruisers
out of the way.
1119
01:30:51,500 --> 01:30:53,400
Can do.
1120
01:31:07,400 --> 01:31:10,400
Excuse me, officers.
My car broke down up the street there...
1121
01:31:10,600 --> 01:31:12,900
...and I was wondering
if y'all could help me out.
1122
01:31:13,100 --> 01:31:16,000
Why, yes, ma'am.
We'll be happy to.
1123
01:31:16,100 --> 01:31:19,500
- Oh, you're sweet.
- Let's go.
1124
01:31:20,100 --> 01:31:23,600
Halt! Tough shit, honey.
You go fix your own car.
1125
01:31:23,800 --> 01:31:25,400
Ain't no one going anywhere.
1126
01:31:26,300 --> 01:31:28,400
What the hell are you doing?
1127
01:31:38,600 --> 01:31:39,900
Come on, General.
1128
01:32:11,100 --> 01:32:13,500
Hey, Dil, we got a late arrival!
1129
01:32:23,100 --> 01:32:24,800
Hey, Billy!
1130
01:32:34,700 --> 01:32:37,000
You're gonna pay for that, Bo-Bo.
1131
01:32:41,200 --> 01:32:43,600
I've had just about enough of you.
1132
01:32:56,000 --> 01:32:57,300
Here they come.
1133
01:33:13,100 --> 01:33:15,800
Of course I can feel him on my left!
Of course I can!
1134
01:33:20,700 --> 01:33:23,900
- Where is he getting this from?
- Hey, Billy!
1135
01:33:24,100 --> 01:33:25,500
He's playing with me!
1136
01:33:33,300 --> 01:33:36,000
- Come on.
- The General Lee has won the race.
1137
01:33:37,600 --> 01:33:39,200
I want him tested for steroids!
1138
01:33:43,000 --> 01:33:46,100
But Billy Prickett and the General Lee
haven't had quite enough driving.
1139
01:33:46,200 --> 01:33:48,200
They're still going.
1140
01:33:49,600 --> 01:33:51,800
- Come on, y'all!
- We'll interview these guys...
1141
01:33:52,000 --> 01:33:55,000
...if we have to chase after
them ourselves. Tito, start the van.
1142
01:33:55,600 --> 01:33:57,500
Better luck next time, Hogg.
1143
01:33:57,700 --> 01:33:59,200
Let's go, baby.
1144
01:34:06,900 --> 01:34:08,900
Don't go home, really.
1145
01:34:11,100 --> 01:34:13,100
This is Boss Hogg.
1146
01:34:13,300 --> 01:34:18,100
That road better be shut down
tighter than a tick's ass.
1147
01:34:18,800 --> 01:34:21,300
Ten-four. Barricade's in place.
1148
01:34:27,100 --> 01:34:29,200
Rosco, is anyone coming?
1149
01:34:29,800 --> 01:34:33,900
- What, I ain't good enough for you?
- No comment.
1150
01:34:35,400 --> 01:34:37,900
Don't write that down.
Don't write that down.
1151
01:34:38,100 --> 01:34:41,100
- Are they coming?
- Oh, yeah, they're coming.
1152
01:34:41,300 --> 01:34:43,800
We got the whole town headed
to the courthouse.
1153
01:34:45,000 --> 01:34:48,300
- Daisy, we all clear?
- Not exactly.
1154
01:34:48,300 --> 01:34:50,900
"Not exactly" could be a problem.
1155
01:34:51,100 --> 01:34:55,300
Bo? I think we're gonna have
to shoot the moon.
1156
01:35:10,600 --> 01:35:13,200
- What the hell are you doing, Cooter?
- Sorry, officer.
1157
01:35:13,300 --> 01:35:15,300
I heard a pretty lady needed a tow.
1158
01:35:18,400 --> 01:35:21,300
- Cooter.
- I can't hear you.
1159
01:35:21,500 --> 01:35:23,900
Cooter, what the hell are you doing?
1160
01:35:31,900 --> 01:35:34,300
Hey, Billy!
1161
01:35:34,400 --> 01:35:36,500
You think I was born
yesterday, Bo-Bo?
1162
01:35:37,800 --> 01:35:39,800
Oh, shit!
1163
01:35:47,900 --> 01:35:49,600
Holy shit.
1164
01:36:06,100 --> 01:36:08,800
Luke, I made it, but I don't know
how anybody else will.
1165
01:36:08,900 --> 01:36:11,700
That's okay, I got an idea!
1166
01:36:15,600 --> 01:36:17,400
Well, I'll see you on the other side.
1167
01:36:32,500 --> 01:36:34,600
Give me
your goddamn driver's license.
1168
01:36:34,800 --> 01:36:36,500
What license?
1169
01:36:43,400 --> 01:36:46,000
What are we waiting on, judge?
Let's finish this thing.
1170
01:36:46,100 --> 01:36:47,900
Well, I guess it's that time.
1171
01:36:48,100 --> 01:36:51,000
I just can't believe
that nobody wants to object.
1172
01:36:52,500 --> 01:36:56,200
All those in favor
of the strip-mining ordinance?
1173
01:36:58,000 --> 01:37:00,300
- They're gonna strip-mine Hazzard?
- Damn straight.
1174
01:37:00,500 --> 01:37:04,900
- How can they do that?
- Don't worry, we're about to stop them.
1175
01:37:06,000 --> 01:37:08,100
All those opposed?
1176
01:37:10,000 --> 01:37:12,600
What the hell is that?
Who locked that door?
1177
01:37:17,000 --> 01:37:19,600
- Oh, man, that's gonna hurt tomorrow.
- Your Honor!
1178
01:37:19,800 --> 01:37:24,300
I think we got some people who might
like to object to this strip-mining issue.
1179
01:37:24,700 --> 01:37:28,200
Okay, all those opposed
to the strip-mining ordinance?
1180
01:37:31,100 --> 01:37:36,900
This court hereby declares that the
strip-mining ordinance is dismissed.
1181
01:37:42,300 --> 01:37:45,400
Thank you much. Thank you, Boss.
Hi, how y'all?
1182
01:37:45,700 --> 01:37:48,400
She might be a little low on gas.
1183
01:37:48,500 --> 01:37:50,400
Take that.
1184
01:37:51,600 --> 01:37:54,900
Were you really gonna strip-mine
Hazzard, Mr. Hogg?
1185
01:37:55,700 --> 01:37:58,300
I was thinking about it.
1186
01:37:59,900 --> 01:38:01,700
- Out of the way.
- Step aside, please.
1187
01:38:01,900 --> 01:38:03,300
Excuse me, ma'am.
1188
01:38:04,600 --> 01:38:06,900
- Get your hands up.
- People, move back.
1189
01:38:07,000 --> 01:38:08,600
Hands up, hands up.
1190
01:38:08,800 --> 01:38:12,200
Okay. Looks like the party's over.
1191
01:38:12,300 --> 01:38:15,400
Damn right it is.
As long as I'm a county commissioner...
1192
01:38:15,600 --> 01:38:18,500
...for the great state of Georgia,
you two are gonna rot...
1193
01:38:18,600 --> 01:38:21,100
...in the penitentiary. Cuff him.
1194
01:38:22,400 --> 01:38:23,700
Let them go!
1195
01:38:24,000 --> 01:38:25,700
Let them go!
1196
01:38:25,800 --> 01:38:29,200
Excuse me, Rick Shakely. I think
the governor has a statement to make.
1197
01:38:29,300 --> 01:38:31,200
- Well, hot dog.
- I do?
1198
01:38:31,400 --> 01:38:33,900
Yes, sir. You wanted to comment
on how these boys...
1199
01:38:34,000 --> 01:38:36,300
...are the heroes
for saving Hazzard County.
1200
01:38:36,500 --> 01:38:39,500
- That's right, governor!
- Come on, governor!
1201
01:38:40,900 --> 01:38:42,900
Certainly, certainly.
1202
01:38:43,000 --> 01:38:46,600
As you know, I've always been
a great friend to the environment.
1203
01:38:47,000 --> 01:38:49,900
And these boys,
they're environmental heroes!
1204
01:38:51,700 --> 01:38:55,800
And because they're heroes, you're
gonna pardon them for all their crimes?
1205
01:38:59,300 --> 01:39:02,400
Moreover, as governor,
I hereby pardon these boys...
1206
01:39:02,600 --> 01:39:06,500
...of any and all offenses against
the great state of Georgia. Go Dogs!
1207
01:39:09,700 --> 01:39:13,300
Governor? I wanna thank you
for pardoning me too.
1208
01:39:13,500 --> 01:39:16,600
- Pardon you for what?
- For this.
1209
01:39:21,400 --> 01:39:23,800
Oh, what the hell. I pardon him too.
1210
01:39:26,000 --> 01:39:29,500
Here's to Hazzard County's
real favorite sons.
1211
01:39:33,100 --> 01:39:36,100
The day had been saved, as they say.
1212
01:39:36,300 --> 01:39:38,900
Hazzard was put back the way it was.
1213
01:39:39,100 --> 01:39:41,800
Boss Hogg had some explaining to do.
1214
01:39:42,000 --> 01:39:44,500
And the Dukes got their farm back
and celebrated...
1215
01:39:44,700 --> 01:39:48,000
... with a good old-fashioned
pig-picking barbecue.
1216
01:39:48,100 --> 01:39:51,200
Hey, Billy. Daisy, I think
you ought to get up there and sing.
1217
01:39:51,400 --> 01:39:55,100
- Oh, no. I only sing in the shower.
- I'll get the water running.
1218
01:39:55,300 --> 01:39:57,700
- Let's get Uncle Jesse to do it.
- Good idea.
1219
01:39:57,900 --> 01:40:01,200
Pauline, where's Uncle Jesse?
We want him to sing a song.
1220
01:40:01,400 --> 01:40:04,600
I think I might know where he is.
1221
01:40:08,600 --> 01:40:09,900
An apple?
1222
01:40:10,100 --> 01:40:13,000
An apple a day
will keep the doctor away, darling.
1223
01:40:13,200 --> 01:40:16,200
Come on, Jesse,
they want you to sing.
1224
01:40:16,300 --> 01:40:20,100
- Real refreshing.
- They are, aren't they?
1225
01:40:30,000 --> 01:40:31,700
It feels like old times again.
1226
01:40:31,900 --> 01:40:35,600
Yeah, except for now we don't
gotta worry about Bo finding out.
1227
01:40:35,800 --> 01:40:39,300
I swear you're the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
1228
01:40:39,400 --> 01:40:42,200
- You're sweet.
- Yeah.
1229
01:40:42,400 --> 01:40:44,600
I would really like to give you
a bath later.
1230
01:40:44,800 --> 01:40:47,000
Clean you up real nice.
Would you like that?
1231
01:40:47,000 --> 01:40:50,200
- I'd like that.
- Yeah. Yeah.
1232
01:40:50,400 --> 01:40:54,200
Don't worry about her. She's crazy.
1233
01:41:00,700 --> 01:41:02,200
Hey there, Laurie.
1234
01:41:02,400 --> 01:41:05,500
You forgot to make your delivery
this week, Luke Duke.
1235
01:41:05,900 --> 01:41:09,000
- Go, Bo, go.
- Luke, you man-whore.
1236
01:41:09,800 --> 01:41:12,400
You get back here, you bastard!
1237
01:41:12,600 --> 01:41:14,000
See y'all later.
1238
01:41:28,000 --> 01:41:29,600
Okay, this is A-camera marker.
1239
01:41:29,800 --> 01:41:32,900
- Actually, she's my cousin.
- That don't make a difference to me.
1240
01:41:33,100 --> 01:41:37,100
Hell, long as she's your sister.
What the fuck did I just say?
1241
01:41:42,200 --> 01:41:46,000
Don't you know you're not supposed
to wear white after Labor Day?
1242
01:41:48,900 --> 01:41:51,000
- Come on, cut that out.
- Seann.
1243
01:41:51,100 --> 01:41:53,300
Do I need to mark this thing?
1244
01:41:53,500 --> 01:41:54,800
It's called common markers.
1245
01:41:55,000 --> 01:41:57,400
I wonder if Richard Burton
ever had to do that.
1246
01:42:39,200 --> 01:42:42,800
What the fuck?
That's the kiss you guys are having?
1247
01:42:43,000 --> 01:42:45,900
What the fuck?
I'm a total fucking moron.
1248
01:42:46,000 --> 01:42:48,600
- It gets longer and longer, doesn't it?
- Come on.
1249
01:42:48,800 --> 01:42:52,300
How these boys are the heroes for...
Oh, my Lord.
1250
01:42:52,500 --> 01:42:55,900
Every time I look at her titties,
she loses her line.
1251
01:42:58,000 --> 01:43:00,500
- I love it except for the hair in your eyes.
- I know.
1252
01:43:00,600 --> 01:43:02,600
- How's my hair?
- Okay.
1253
01:43:02,800 --> 01:43:04,900
How'd you miss that?
1254
01:43:05,100 --> 01:43:08,400
- Gonna take your hands off the wheel?
- He showed me his balls.
1255
01:43:08,500 --> 01:43:11,300
Sorry. Okay, okay. We'll do it again.
Okay, keep going.
1256
01:43:11,500 --> 01:43:13,400
For your...
1257
01:43:15,400 --> 01:43:18,200
- Don't tell me, it rhymes with "anus. "
- Heinous.
1258
01:43:18,400 --> 01:43:20,700
For your heinous crimes.
1259
01:43:20,900 --> 01:43:23,900
Have you been running this
around the clock, Uncle Jesse?
1260
01:43:33,700 --> 01:43:37,600
Did I say "shit" or "hell" that time?
With "ass" or "dick"? I said "hell"?
1261
01:43:39,300 --> 01:43:43,000
Dang it, a little help. A little help.
1262
01:43:44,300 --> 01:43:46,900
- Cut it.
- Cut.
1263
01:43:47,000 --> 01:43:52,000
Come on, be a bro, be a bro.
Get it away! Come on. Get it away!
1264
01:43:52,200 --> 01:43:53,900
- Move over.
- Hey.
1265
01:43:54,100 --> 01:43:57,400
- There weren't any bananas.
- Oh, that's okay.
1266
01:43:58,400 --> 01:44:02,300
- Where's Bo?
- To hell with Bo, it's Boo!
1267
01:44:02,400 --> 01:44:03,900
Lunch!
1268
01:44:09,100 --> 01:44:10,900
Thank you very much.
1269
01:44:12,700 --> 01:44:15,800
Look at me, I'm flying. I'm flying!
1270
01:44:16,000 --> 01:44:19,400
Oh, it's so much fun. I'm okay.
1271
01:45:19,200 --> 01:45:22,000
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