1
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,231
We got one to go! One out to go!

2
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,316
All right!

3
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:03,595
OK!

4
00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:06,553
He just saved your ass, Brewster.

5
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:18,236
Come on, Rudy.

6
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,200
- Foul ball!
- Aw, foul ball!

7
00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:37,551
Aw, you almost had that. I bet
you feel like a big piece of shit.

8
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,432
Talk all you want, Porky.

9
00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:44,833
Here we go, Monty. Ready to push.
Throw it in to Porky!

10
00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,555
Foul ball!

11
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,953
- It's OK, Rudy.
- You want him to pitch underhand?

12
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:58,755
- I'm lettin' my bat do my talkin'.
- Oh, the bat's got the brains?

13
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,314
- Play ball.
- I just wanted to figure it out.

14
00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,079
I wanna know who's got
the brains in the family.

15
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,675
- Time out!
- Time out?

16
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:10,756
(train whistle)

17
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:29,229
It's all right. Take it easy,
don't lose your concentration.

18
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,193
A goddamn train's comin'
through the outfield!

19
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,912
There's a guy up there
in the bleachers, front row.

20
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:53,749
He's got a camera. He's been takin'
pictures of me for the last three games.

21
00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:01,635
- I think he's a scout for the big leagues.
- Monty, this is Hackensack, New Jersey.

22
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,836
No scout comes here, you understand?

23
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,670
A train's goin' through the outfield,
but you strike this guy out,...

24
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,314
..l'll take you with me
tonight and get you drunk.

25
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,431
Two out. Two! Two!

26
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,516
(cheering)

27
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,435
Two out. He makes it three.

28
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,235
Look at him. He's a little rag arm!

29
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,150
Dial up on him, baby.
Knock it a long distance for me.

30
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,834
- Hey, old man. Getting a little tired, huh?
- Get back to T-ball, buddy.

31
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,435
Strike three. You're out!

32
00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:01,278
Big win. Yeah! All right!

33
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,232
I'm a Gypsy. That's why
I'm not gonna bullshit you, OK?

34
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:38,831
I'm not gonna see you next year cos
I'm gonna be playing for the big leagues.

35
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,678
- Really?
- That's right.

36
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,792
I dunno what team, but
you'll see me on television...

37
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,480
..and you'll say "I know that guy."

38
00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:51,628
"That's the guy that wanted to date
me but, no, I was too stupid."

39
00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:53,791
Jake here. I'm in Hackensack.

40
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:57,993
Pretty much the same picture. He was out
drinkin' till 3.30 in a bar last night,...

41
00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,839
..then he picked up a girl,
took her back to the hotel.

42
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,155
I figure tonight's agenda looks the same.

43
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,829
He's out celebrating his victory.
He was the winning pitcher today.

44
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,434
Right now you're playing
for Hackensack,...

45
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,120
..so why are you running
around in a Cubs jersey?

46
00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:15,038
A Cubs jersey? What number's that?

47
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:18,038
- It says "35".
- That was my number in the Cubs.

48
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,311
They were the only big-league team
smart enough to take me on.

49
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:25,429
Is he a good pitcher?
Well, he's enthusiastic.

50
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,551
Kinda like a kid in a candy store.

51
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,632
Excuse me. Excuse me.

52
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,671
Cold beer here. Cold beer.

53
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,675
There you go. Sorry I'm late. Allow me.

54
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:41,035
- Attractive(!)
- Thank you very much.

55
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:47,798
- Look, just keep your eye out for Rudy.
- He doesn't exist. There is no Rudy.

56
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:51,356
Yes, sir. I'll break the news
to him tomorrow morning.

57
00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,471
No, sir. I won't lose sight of him.

58
00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:57,873
Let me tell you something about
athletes. After a game, we gotta relax.

59
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,956
We gotta come down, unwind.

60
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:04,278
My doctor told me. He said "Brewster,
man, get a massage. Come down."

61
00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:07,358
We read in a medical journal
left in the locker room...

62
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,711
..an article written by
this Oriental doctor on massages.

63
00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:13,638
We in the West give a massage like this.

64
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:17,833
And, see, all the energy coming from
my hands is stopped by the fabric.

65
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:21,873
Apparently we in the West don't know
that and we're massaging for nothing.

66
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,639
So his theory, and I dunno,
it's just a theory,...

67
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:28,389
..is if you're nude and you get
a massage, that's the best thing for you.

68
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:33,595
- Good for your muscles, nude.
- Maybe you'd like to try it with us?

69
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,393
- The four of us nude would be great.
- That would be fun.

70
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:38,351
Massaging each other.

71
00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,756
- I think they're kinda cute.
- This one's especially cute.

72
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,836
Either of you guys got a car?

73
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,951
- Got a bus.
- The team bus.

74
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,799
- Bigger than a car?
- Oh, much bigger and more fun,...

75
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:51,639
..because he's a partymeister himself.

76
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:56,390
Why don't we start in a bus?
Let's try the bus.

77
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,590
Any left?

78
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:02,076
Let's try the bus, a good place
to start the evening off.

79
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,795
You're gonna love this.
We got a big-screen TV.

80
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:08,469
Well, not yet. We got a space for it.
I think you're gonna like that.

81
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,716
Hi, guys.

82
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,638
Hah... Rudy! Hi, Rudy, buddy.

83
00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,634
Get in the car before
I twist your head off.

84
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,752
I didn't do anything wrong, baby.
They tried to pick us up.

85
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,752
- Bullshit!
- Shut up!

86
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,519
- Get in the goddamn car!
- Hey, I wouldn't do that.

87
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,439
- Rudy...
- Hey! Butt out, rag arm.

88
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,513
- Let's go, guys.
- We'll push your face.

89
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:44,952
Police? This is Torchy's on J Street. Send
somebody down, there's gonna be a fight.

90
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:01,916
(man whistles tune)

91
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,518
Why is it when there's trouble,
it's us that gets into it?

92
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,996
There's a bar full of people.
We're the only ones in jail.

93
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:14,112
I don't think it's racial
cos I'm in here with you.

94
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,796
That's comforting.

95
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,193
- Hiya, fellas.
- Charley!

96
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:27,199
Look, I dunno what to say,
but I guess this is it.

97
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:31,394
Charley, we apologise. Now cut the
speeches and get us out of here, please.

98
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:35,399
I can't do it, kid. The front office
is washing its hands of you two.

99
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,478
There's no money for bail
and no money for your fines.

100
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:40,909
They gave you both unconditional releases.

101
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:44,476
Great. Do they know what they're
talkin' about? We got one game left!

102
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:48,673
- If we win today, we're in the play-offs.
- It's simple. They don't want you guys.

103
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:53,271
Next year, they're going with the college
draft choices. New talent, young kids.

104
00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:56,478
Hey, look at it this way, Brewster.
You're lucky.

105
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,637
You got to be a pro ball player
for 15 years.

106
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:02,878
It's a lot more than most people get.

107
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,116
I'll see you.

108
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,309
Brewster and Nolan.

109
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,113
OK! You bozos are up to bat.

110
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,800
In here. Let's go!

111
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,988
Don't worry. I know this kind of stuff.

112
00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:38,076
- Don't mess up.
- Just smile.

113
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,236
Thank you very much.

114
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:47,952
Mr Brewster and Mr Nolan, you're
charged with assault and battery,...

115
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,150
- (Nolan laughs)
- ..resisting arrest...

116
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,748
..and the destruction of private property.

117
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,836
How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?

118
00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,988
Guilty, but with a real good excuse.
You're gonna love it.

119
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,759
- I plead innocent.
- You see, Your Honour,...

120
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,189
..what you have with
Mr Brewster and myself...

121
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,550
..is a couple of local heroes, really.

122
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:11,390
We play for a local team. You might
have seen us - the Hackensack Bulls?

123
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,670
Perhaps you know
the "Go, you Bulls, go"?

124
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:18,874
Let's not waste time. I have depositions
from over a dozen eyewitnesses.

125
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:22,390
Your Honour, we went into the bar
and we saw this nice lady.

126
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,715
We asked her to sit with us
to have a drink.

127
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:26,796
I didn't know she had a fianc�. Did you?

128
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,354
I didn't know.
It wasn't public knowledge.

129
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:33,473
So you made advances to a woman
who was involved with another man?

130
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,956
If you don't make calls,
you don't make any sales.

131
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:41,434
- This man does not represent me.
- I'd remove that from the court records.

132
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:44,632
I'm going to set your bail at $3,000.

133
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,592
- Not bad.
- We don't have $3,000.

134
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,473
Bailiff, will you remove
the prisoners. Next case.

135
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:56,276
Your Honour, wait, please. I'd like
to defend myself. The man hit me first.

136
00:10:56,760 --> 00:11:00,514
With the permission of the court!
My name is JB Donaldo.

137
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,916
I represent parties
who wish to remain anonymous...

138
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,191
..and who have instructed me
to post bail for the defendants...

139
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:10,551
..or pay any fines levied
in case they plead guilty,...

140
00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:12,636
..which I'm sure they will now do.

141
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,715
- Who is he?
- It's the scout.

142
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:18,115
I told you they want me.

143
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:22,070
They want me.
We're going to the big time!

144
00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:24,550
- (Brewster) So where to, JB?
- (JB) New York.

145
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:27,558
New York? Yee-ha ha!

146
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,836
The Mets!

147
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:07,156
I knew it! There's no Mets in here.

148
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,714
Wait a minute.
There's no Mets in this building.

149
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:13,719
I never mentioned the Mets. Mr Brewster
did. I was just hired to bring him here.

150
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,400
He's not a scout. He's a cop.

151
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,511
Look at him.
Look at those cheap cop shoes.

152
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:22,076
Cop face, cop hat, cop shirt, cop eyes.

153
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,995
Monty, the Mets don't want you. The
Hackensack Bulls don't even want you.

154
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:29,112
Look, I ain't supposed to tell you,
but here's who hired me.

155
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,549
Granville & Baxter. As far as I know,
they got nothing to do with the Mets.

156
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,436
It's gonna be great.

157
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,156
It's the Yankees.

158
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,115
- Mr Brewster?
- Right.

159
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:48,630
- We've been expecting you.
- The arm's OK.

160
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:52,230
The operation was a success.
The arm's 2 years old now.

161
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,036
Follow me, please.

162
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:58,076
Wait for me.

163
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:19,310
- Mr Brewster's here.
- Mr Brewster?

164
00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,590
- Yeah.
- I'm Ed Roundfield.

165
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,951
This is Mr George Granville,
Mr Norris Baxter.

166
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,878
- How do you do?
- Perhaps you'd better sit down.

167
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,798
What I'm about to tell you
may come as quite a shock.

168
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,195
No, sir. I wanna hear this standing up.

169
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,436
Have you ever heard
the name Rupert Horn?

170
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:40,076
Rupert Horn... no. I bet he's someone
high up in the Yankee organisation, right?

171
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,158
I'm afraid not.
Rupert Horn was your great-uncle.

172
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:47,353
- What's that got to do with baseball?
- Rupert Horn quarrelled with his family.

173
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,040
He went out West.
They never heard from him again.

174
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:53,789
They thought he was dead,
but he didn't die until last month.

175
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,316
And by then, he was one of
the richest men in America.

176
00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,750
- And he bought a baseball team, right?
- No. Oil and real estate.

177
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:04,953
And you, Mr Brewster, are the sole living
heir of your great-uncle, Rupert Horn.

178
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:09,239
I think it's only fair to tell Mr Brewster
about the conditions of the will.

179
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,199
Brewster, greetings from the grave.

180
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:19,279
Don't look. so surprised. Didn't you k.now
your great-grandfather was a honk.y?

181
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:24,155
The old man married twice.
0ne wife white, produced me.

182
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,511
0ne wife black.,
produced your grandmother.

183
00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:31,998
A chequered family, you might say.
I've outlived 'em all, except you.

184
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:37,515
They tell me you're my only living relative
and I gotta say, I'm very disappointed.

185
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,915
Look. at ya. What have
you made ofyourself?

186
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,476
A failed baseball player.

187
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,672
I believe in being honest, Brewster.
No bullshit.

188
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,396
I'm stuck. with you.

189
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:53,068
But... we're gonna have some fun.

190
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,116
(gasping)

191
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:08,392
Let me... Let me tell you
a little story, Brewster.

192
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:13,519
When I was seven years old,
my daddy caught me smok.ing a cigar.

193
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,309
Lock.ed me in the broom closet
for three days...

194
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:21,115
.. with nothing but a box of cigars
and a book. of matches.

195
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,437
No food, Brewster. No water.
Just those goddamn cigars.

196
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:29,190
Wouldn't let me out until I finished every
one of 'em. Taught me one helluva lesson.

197
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:32,949
I'm going to do to you
what my daddy did to me.

198
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,594
I'm gonna teach you
to hate spending money.

199
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:40,510
I'm gonna mak.e you so sick. of it that the
sight of it'll mak.e you want to throw up.

200
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,794
So here's my proposition.

201
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,879
You have 30 days in which
to spend 30 million buck.s.

202
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,912
Ifyou can do it, you get 300 million.

203
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:56,032
- There's gotta be a catch.
- 0f course there's a catch.

204
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:58,116
You have to spend the 30 million,...

205
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:02,233
..but after 30 days
you're not allowed to own any assets.

206
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,396
No houses, no cars, no jewellery,...

207
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,795
..nothing but the shirt on your back..

208
00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,354
It sounds easy, don't it? Yeah.

209
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,196
You'll find out.

210
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,594
(gasping)

211
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,233
No, no, no, no.

212
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,191
Now.

213
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:22,359
You can hire anybody you want but
you gotta get value for their services.

214
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:27,474
You can donate five per cent to charity
and gamble another five per cent away,...

215
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,431
..but you can't give it away.

216
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:34,190
That includes buyin' the Hope diamond
for some bimbo as a birthday present.

217
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:38,718
0h, I k.now what you're think.ing, Brewster.

218
00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:43,391
You'll buy yourself a dozen Picassos
and use them for firewood, right?

219
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:47,877
Wrong! You must not destroy
what is inherently valuable.

220
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,956
That's instant disqualification.

221
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:53,074
0h, yeah. I almost forgot.

222
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:58,199
You're not allowed to tell anybody
why you have to spend this money.

223
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:01,710
- Why can't I tell my friends?
- I don't want anybody helping you out.

224
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:05,389
Nobody helped me out
in that closet with those cigars.

225
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,114
I never had any friends.

226
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,470
Well, Brewster, what do you think.?

227
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,955
You got the balls for it?

228
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:18,913
I doubt it. That's why I put
a special wimp clause in my will.

229
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:22,510
You can have a million dollars right now
and forget the whole thing.

230
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,360
0r you can go for the big one, Brewster,...

231
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,628
..the 300 million.

232
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,399
But ifyou fail...

233
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,353
..you don't get diddly.

234
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,030
This is the million dollars.

235
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,149
Oh!

236
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:49,078
Jeez! I never seen
that much money in my life.

237
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,397
We've investigated
your background, Mr Brewster.

238
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,637
The highest salary
you've ever had is $11,000...

239
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:58,228
..for one season
with the Toledo Mud Hens.

240
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,352
You've never even had
a credit card in your entire life.

241
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,632
Think of spending a million dollars
a day for 30 days...

242
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,796
..with no assets to show for it.

243
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,876
It's quite difficult to spend money...

244
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,549
..without accumulating assets,
even if the money is spent foolishly.

245
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:17,236
Surely no one could blame you
for refusing such an eccentric gamble?

246
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:21,911
That's good advice.
Take the million. It's yours!

247
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:28,035
What happens if I don't take the million
and I try for the whole thing and I fail?

248
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:33,473
Granville & Baxter would administrate
the estate in some charitable fashion,...

249
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:36,234
..for a considerable fee, I'm sure.

250
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:39,637
- What do you think?
- I don't benefit either way, Mr Brewster.

251
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,716
I'm a completely neutral observer.

252
00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:49,190
Whew.

253
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:52,915
"Bird in the hand."
That's what my grandma used to say.

254
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,196
I'm gonna go for the 300 million.

255
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,754
When you appear before us
again in 30 days,...

256
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,316
..you must be totally penniless,
without assets of any kind,...

257
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,955
..having just the receipt for your
expenses and the clothes on your back.

258
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,350
Are you certain you wanna do this?

259
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,870
No, sir, I'm not, but I'm gonna
have a lotta fun finding out.

260
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,913
- Send Drake up here immediately.
- Good luck. You're due back in 30 days.

261
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:28,716
Gentlemen, shall we say
12 midnight exactly?

262
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:32,708
We're going to assign a paralegal
from our accounting department...

263
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:37,118
- ..to keep track of your expenditures.
- Does he know about the 300 million?

264
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,358
Drake just knows that
you've inherited $30 million...

265
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,040
..which must be precisely accounted for.

266
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:47,517
If you tell Drake the truth, you'll
automatically lose the entire inheritance.

267
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:51,713
I ain't telling Drake shit. My lips are
sealed. Lock 'em. Throw away the key.

268
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:55,799
"Hello, Drake. This is the way I talk.
How you doin', Drake?"

269
00:19:55,920 --> 00:20:00,391
Miss Drake. This is Mr Brewster,
the client we briefed you about.

270
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,315
Oh, yes, Mr Brewster.
It's very nice to meet you.

271
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,557
- It doesn't rain, it pours.
- I beg your pardon?

272
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,717
The 30 million is deposited
in a bank across the street.

273
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,435
I imagine you'd like to make sure
it's real, possibly make a withdrawal.

274
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:19,473
- Yeah, I'd like to make sure it's real.
- Step this way, please.

275
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,556
- Hey, good luck.
- Yes, sir.

276
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,757
- Spike!
- What's wrong?

277
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,314
- What's wrong?
- Spike! Spike!

278
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:36,194
- You look like you've seen a ghost.
- I... I... I did. I'm not. I'm OK.

279
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,073
We're gonna be back on the team!
I may own the team.

280
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,270
- What?
- I'm gonna be crazy for a while.

281
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,517
But I'm not crazy. People will
think I am. You stick with me.

282
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,074
- You work here?
- No. They hired me to follow you.

283
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:50,192
Would you like to work for
more money than you've ever made?

284
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:55,110
I mean, it's a job. I gotta check and see
if it's real first. Are you interested?

285
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,834
- Yeah, are you kiddin'?
- Bring your camera.

286
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:01,430
Would you mind telling me what's
going on? What did they do to you?

287
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:05,394
What do you mean, what did they do?
I think I just inherited $30 million.

288
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,793
Oh, is that all?
I thought we did somethin' wrong.

289
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,879
30 million. Why didn't you tell me?
$30 million! Are you kiddin' me?

290
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:18,237
Monty's my best friend.
Things like this don't happen often.

291
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:22,751
This is incredible news! The man
just got $30 million given to him.

292
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,394
This is a good day.
We're always gonna remember it.

293
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:28,433
$30 million! That makes us rich.
Well, it makes him rich.

294
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,916
What a great day we're having. Me!
He's having a wonderful day.

295
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,157
I'm having a good time, too.
I'm his best friend. Did I tell you?

296
00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:59,750
Jesus.

297
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,792
This is real m-m-m...

298
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,035
..money.

299
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:08,631
We're gonna have a lotta fun
with this kind of money.

300
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,633
- It's real.
- It is indeed, Mr Brewster.

301
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,035
- Let's not be rash with our money.
- Right.

302
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,913
Jake, I'd like to hire you
as my official photographer.

303
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:22,476
- Salary, $10,000 a week.
- $10,000 a week? This guy's a jerk!

304
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,830
Shut up. I accept.

305
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,116
Hold still for the camera, Mr Brewster.

306
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,473
Not bad for a guy
who didn't finish college.

307
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:35,991
You're doin' great, but, uh... I don't
think you inherited me with your money.

308
00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:39,908
Needless to say, we'll be offering you
the special 24% interest rate...

309
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:43,789
..we reserve for major corporations
and a few of our Arab friends.

310
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:48,272
I don't want any interest! I want it in a
regular account that doesn't pay anything.

311
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,470
It's your vault. I should pay you rent.

312
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:52,716
- Very good, Mr Brewster.
- Mr Brewster,...

313
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:56,549
..you'd be giving up $7.2 million
a year just in interest alone.

314
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,039
I shouldn't take advantage of people.
Am I right?

315
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:02,828
Oh, yes, sir. Right you are, Mr Brewster.

316
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:06,430
I'd like to get $3 million in cash
now and take it with me.

317
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:11,190
Do you know how much $3 million in
cash is? You don't walk around that!

318
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:15,233
- You'd need an army of security guards.
- The man's right.

319
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:18,193
- What do they pay you here?
- 350 a week before taxes.

320
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,914
You can't live on that.
This is a dangerous job.

321
00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,918
I'll pay you $2,000 a week
to be the chief of my security.

322
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,076
- No, no, no, no.
- Oh, yeah. That's wrong.

323
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:31,069
OK, $4,000 a week. And you get 20 other
guys and I'll pay 'em $3,000 a week.

324
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,630
- You miss the point, Monty.
- Go get the $3 million and follow me.

325
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,950
- Yes, sir!
- Everybody follow me!

326
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:39,355
Monty, listen to me.
This is Spike, your pal.

327
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:43,519
You don't do things like that!

328
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:49,230
- I'll tell you what's goin' on.
- You don't even know those people!

329
00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:52,238
They're gonna think I'm crazy,
but I'm not. Stick with me.

330
00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:55,750
This is the way we're gonna
beat the baseball system.

331
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,110
You got more heart
than any catcher I know.

332
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,390
I can get anybody out
for three innings.

333
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:03,557
With this inheritance, this is
our ticket to the big leagues.

334
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,240
- Do you understand? You with me?
- Well, yeah!

335
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:08,316
Well, let's go!

336
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,756
That's right. Take some pictures.

337
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,238
- Get more cameras.
- What do you want more cameras for?

338
00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:19,510
I want it to be on film.
I need a record of it.

339
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,189
Watch the goddamn ball, Johnson!

340
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,312
You're not a farmer!
Don't swing at shit in the dirt!

341
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:28,793
(phone rings)

342
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:32,310
What? Collect call from who?

343
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:36,959
Switchboard says it's Brewster.
Probably from jail. Just what I need.

344
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,435
Tell him he owes me 200 bucks.

345
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,119
Yeah. I'll accept the call.

346
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:47,319
Charley, I'm not drunk. I'm in New York
and I just inherited 30 million bucks.

347
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,079
I'm about to go into
negotiations to buy the team.

348
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,191
Actually, I better rent the team...

349
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,148
What kind of a crap play is that?

350
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,236
Wilson, you idiot!

351
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:02,832
You don't steal second
when you're down two runs!

352
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,237
Brewster, do me a favour.
Go crazy on your own time and charges.

353
00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:11,399
The team's going to shit, we could miss
the play-offs. I'm in no mood for jokes.

354
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,070
That's why I'm gonna raise
your salary - I love your dedication!

355
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:20,479
I am gonna get the team new uniforms, a
team box with air-conditioning and a Tv.

356
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,478
I'm gonna arrange it so
we can play the New York Yankees!

357
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,877
Right, right. OK, just tell me
one thing, Mr Millionaire.

358
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,195
You're so rich.
Why are you calling collect?

359
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:33,233
They only gave me $100 bills. I had
to rent this quarter from my accountant.

360
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:37,559
Yeah, I know. It's a big problem.
Nighty-night, sweet prince.

361
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,469
Nighty-night? Charley!

362
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,556
He doesn't believe me.

363
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,431
Thanks for the loan of the quarter.

364
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:50,710
Wow! Now that's really nice.

365
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,751
It's beautiful. But there is no way...

366
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:56,395
..l could spend over $200,000 for
something you wear around your neck.

367
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,909
You know how many hungry people
that could feed?

368
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,156
Let's go to lunch.

369
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,350
Yo! Taxi!

370
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:10,911
- Who the hell is that?
- Monty Brewster, the world's richest guy.

371
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:15,636
Would you like to be my personal driver
for the next 30 days at $5,000 a week?

372
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:19,150
You wanna hire a piece-of-shit cab
for $5,000 a week?

373
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,795
- Cash!
- What a country! America, I love it!

374
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:26,117
You could hire a fleet of
limousines for that money!

375
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:29,630
- You know where to hire limousines?
- Yeah.

376
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:33,912
Hire me three of the most expensive
limousines you can find, with drivers.

377
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:37,669
Bring the receipts and give 'em to
Miss Drake. We're goin' to lunch now.

378
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,475
Hey, everybody. Anybody wanna
go to lunch? I'm buying.

379
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,556
(all) Yeah!

380
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:51,352
- Buzz off. I'm his personal photographer.
- This is a free country.

381
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:58,549
- Come on, Spike!
- Wait for me, pal!

382
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:11,075
(all) Taxi!

383
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:13,392
- What's your name?
- Melvin.

384
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:15,670
- Melvin, give him $500.
- Yes, sir.

385
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,557
(gasps) Look at all that money.

386
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,636
You have the most beautiful eyes.

387
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:27,153
I was hired to keep your accounts for
30 days. That's the extent of my services.

388
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:31,671
- To where is our destination?
- Monty! How you doin', pal?

389
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,313
Get in!

390
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:38,512
That's Spike. We're buddies.
We're all together.

391
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,910
(car horns)

392
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,196
200 people at $100 a head.

393
00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:01,996
No. We're hungry. $200 a head. And
what's the most expensive wine you have?

394
00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:05,556
That's the Ch�teau Lafite 1961.
It's $200 a bottle.

395
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,554
- You guys like Lafite?
- (all) Yeah!

396
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:25,637
Excuse my expression,
but you think I'm a real asshole.

397
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:29,270
A country bumpkin that flashes
his money around like some big shot?

398
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,358
- I'm not your judge.
- What college did you go to?

399
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:34,789
That has nothing to do with anything.

400
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,957
Give me a break. I just wanna know
what college you went to.

401
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,150
All right. I went to Loyola...

402
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:44,034
Loyola, Chicago. I know
the city and I know the college.

403
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:49,914
Put that back.

404
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,276
And the ashtray.

405
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,830
What's with you? Go sit somewhere else.

406
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:02,111
Get off my back. And use your fork
instead of your fingers.

407
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,357
- That's how it's usually done.
- Oh, is that right?

408
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:09,433
The boss found a job for you yet,
by the way? Like "designated eater"?

409
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:11,949
Look, I don't want a job. I'm his friend.

410
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,390
What's that pay?

411
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:21,233
Let me hire somebody to do that for you
and we could have a lot of fun tonight.

412
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,397
That's very flattering,
but I'm meeting my fianc�.

413
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,431
- Who's the lucky guy?
- Warren Cox.

414
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,437
He's a junior partner at my firm.

415
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,710
- Is he a lawyer too?
- He's not just a lawyer.

416
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:34,355
He's involved with
the Sierra Club, UNICEF,...

417
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,516
..and he's a sincere feminist.

418
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:41,475
I bet. A guy with so many activities,
where does he find the time for you?

419
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,717
It's hard sometimes.
We're tryin' to do more things together.

420
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:48,072
- I'd like to meet him sometime.
- He's a very busy man.

421
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:52,034
- I'd pay him for his time.
- I don't think so.

422
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,630
I know you think you can buy
everything and everybody in the world,...

423
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:59,150
..but I doubt that you could
ever buy Warren.

424
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:02,118
This is Chuck Fleming,
Action News, in Manhattan.

425
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:06,358
Now arriving at the Plaza Hotel is
Montgomery Brewster, baseball pitcher,...

426
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:11,315
..who earlier today inherited $30 million
tax-free, and is still celebrating.

427
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,069
Mr Brewster, what will you do
with that money?

428
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,156
Spend it. No, just kidding.

429
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:21,795
I'm forming a corporation tonight.
Tomorrow, we go into business.

430
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:26,550
- What kind of business is that?
- As you know, my business is baseball...

431
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,911
..but since I've inherited $30 million,
I have to branch out.

432
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:34,915
I've always had a soft spot for artists
and painters, writers, inventors.

433
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:38,237
I'm gonna form this business
and I want everybody to get a shot.

434
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,352
Even if you've been turned down
a thousand times, I'm hiring.

435
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,592
How many people have you
hired already, Mr Brewster?

436
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:48,872
Well, I think you should ask
my senior vice president, Spike Nolan.

437
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:53,113
Yeah. Spike. Uh, I'm paying him
$100,000 a month to figure it out.

438
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,832
100,000! Did you hear? 100,000 a month!

439
00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,876
Chuck Fleming!

440
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:03,072
- Hey, are we on the air now, Chuck?
- Yes, right there.

441
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,954
Can I say something to all the people
who thought I was a loser?

442
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:09,276
Thanks, Chuck! Hey, Monty! Monty!

443
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,713
Spike Nolan, the catcher
for the Hackensack Bulls.

444
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,912
I would love to accommodate
you and your friends,...

445
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,191
..but the top two floors
have already been reserved.

446
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:21,590
They'll be occupied within two weeks.

447
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:23,631
How much are they paying you?

448
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,796
$100,000 a week.

449
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:28,753
- Wow! Mister, uh...
- Carter.

450
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:32,634
Mr Carter, I like your hotel.
My friends like your hotel.

451
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:35,075
- Do you like this hotel?
- I do. I love it.

452
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:37,953
He loves it, too.
Listen. I'll tell you what.

453
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:40,196
For the next month, I'll pay you...

454
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,393
..$1 million in cash.

455
00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:50,511
Sign here, please.

456
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,358
(cheering)

457
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:22,510
Hey, Melvin.
How they hangin', my friend?

458
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,835
You look good. Real big league.

459
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:38,390
- Nice, huh?
- They're in the bedroom.

460
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:40,476
Thanks for your help.

461
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:49,229
Monty! Hey, Monty, old pal!

462
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,589
Hey, pal, get a load of this.

463
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,792
What d'you think?
I found it all in one shop.

464
00:32:55,920 --> 00:33:00,118
This was made for Johnny Bench. He didn't
pick it up so I got it. A catcher's mask!

465
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:04,028
- Oh, Monty, I can't thank you enough.
- It's, uh... What do you think?

466
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:07,638
- Hey! They just made that for you?
- Yeah.

467
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:09,796
- Wow! Honest?
- Honest.

468
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:11,791
- Too conservative for me.
- What?

469
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:15,913
- For me! This is the new Spike Nolan!
- I know, but this is great.

470
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:19,350
Great on you, but great is your
accountant. Very nice!

471
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,436
Yeah, but she thinks I'm a lowlife.

472
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,869
- I can understand that.
- Get outta here!

473
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,831
Gentlemen, am I a lowlife?

474
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:29,191
- Oh, no, Mr Brewster.
- Oh, no. Not with these clothes.

475
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:32,995
- See what I mean?
- Oh, and you listen to these people?

476
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:38,953
Now, look. I know that this is none
of my business but, at this rate,...

477
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:43,232
..you'll spend your inheritance in a month
and you'll have nothing to show for it.

478
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:47,353
Excuse me, sir. There's a Mr Warren Cox
here to see Miss Drake.

479
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,474
Warren! How you doin'?

480
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:56,231
Monty Brewster. Pleased to meet you.
I've heard so much about you. My God!

481
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:59,955
I hear you're a swell fella.
We're drinking some champagne.

482
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,230
- Hello, dear.
- Hi.

483
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,271
I'll get this. Is it raining out?

484
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,516
Not at the moment, but you never know.

485
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,200
Better safe than sorry.
That's my philosophy, too.

486
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:11,993
- Have a drink.
- Thank you, no. I don't drink alcohol.

487
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,680
- Uh-oh. We'll be late for that benefit.
- Benefit?

488
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:16,916
It's the committee to ban contact sports.

489
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:21,392
Studies show that sanctioned violence
has a detrimental effect on young people.

490
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:23,829
I do a little legal work for the committee.

491
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:25,951
Not messin' with baseball, are you?

492
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:30,596
Baseball? No. Boxing, football,
ice hockey - the truly barbaric sports.

493
00:34:30,720 --> 00:34:35,157
- I'd like to make a small contribution.
- I think we're gonna be very late.

494
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,113
Darling, this is what
the benefit is for, to raise money.

495
00:34:38,240 --> 00:34:42,597
- In a sense, we're at the benefit now.
- So am l. $100,000 OK?

496
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:44,718
$100,000?

497
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:47,354
Thank you... very, very much.

498
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,518
- Here, have a drink.
- Thank you. I will.

499
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,072
- Warren, you don't even drink.
- One little sip won't hurt.

500
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,236
That's right.

501
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:02,478
- This is a wonderful suite you have.
- I'm glad you like it.

502
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:08,118
Look at that. Two Louis XVI chairs
with a... good tapestry fabric.

503
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:12,151
That's a nice attempt
at a classic French piano.

504
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:15,909
Maria Theresa chandelier... I see what
your decorator was trying to do.

505
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:19,157
There's a definite continuity
to all the elements in the room.

506
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:23,592
- I'd have done a few things differently...
- You know so much about all this stuff.

507
00:35:23,720 --> 00:35:28,396
Well, my ex-wife Marilyn's a decorator.
I guess at lot of it rubbed off on me.

508
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:31,159
- You could really help me out.
- How's that?

509
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:35,159
Well, I'd like for you
to redecorate my offices.

510
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:39,034
I'd pay you, of course. Uh... $250,000?

511
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:42,391
- I... I don't know what to say.
- Say yes.

512
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:45,114
Mr Brewster, I'm a lawyer.

513
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:49,154
I'm sure New York is full of decorators
who would die for that opportunity.

514
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,751
This is so out of my field,
to use a metaphor from your profession.

515
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:54,996
If the job's too big for you, say no.

516
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:58,829
No. I mean, I'm not saying no.
Not at all. I'm not saying that.

517
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:02,151
Warren! You're a lawyer,
you are not a decorator.

518
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,875
What's wrong with being a decorator?
Marilyn makes a good living.

519
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,912
That's it! Marilyn! She could help you.

520
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:11,355
I'd pay her $100,000
if that's not an insult.

521
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:15,598
Well, I'd have to ask her,
but I think she'd be delighted.

522
00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:17,995
You said you never get to see your fianc�.

523
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,999
This way, you get to see him every day.
Just trying to be helpful.

524
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,190
What about your job and our honeymoon?

525
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:28,950
It would only be for two weeks. We've
got a whole lifetime for our honeymoon.

526
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,719
- A whole lifetime.
- It was a pleasure meeting you,...

527
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:33,592
- ..Monty?
- Warren.

528
00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:37,759
Angela wanted me to call from the lobby,
but I wanted to come up and meet you,...

529
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:40,553
..mano a mano. I'm glad I did.

530
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:44,197
- Warren... me, too.
- Let's go, Warren.

531
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,675
Are you leaving? Oh, goodness, no.

532
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,429
Hey, wait a minute.

533
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,516
Better safe than sorry.

534
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:54,831
- Good night, Mr Brewster.
- Hey, call me Monty. Warren does.

535
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:58,115
- Hey, let me get the door.
- Thank you.

536
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,554
- You drive careful.
- Yes, I will.

537
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,831
- Good night. Nice meeting you.
- Nice meeting you.

538
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,036
Now that was a real asshole.

539
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:15,196
You want to take a month off to be
Mr Brewster's interior decorator?

540
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:19,479
I realise that it's a rather
unorthodox request, sir,...

541
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:22,034
..but it's an incredible opportunity.

542
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:26,631
Actually, he wants me to start working
for him this morning, in about 20 minutes.

543
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:30,719
- How much is he paying you?
- A quarter of a million dollars, sir.

544
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,798
Yes, we understand
that kind of opportunity.

545
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,514
I think a leave of absence
can be arranged.

546
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:49,352
As I'm sure you know, Mr Horn
was our most important client.

547
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,630
The firm is naturally concerned with...

548
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:55,719
..how Mr Brewster conducts himself
with his inheritance.

549
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:59,310
If you're in his employ,
it could make it easier for us...

550
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:02,159
..if you could act as our eyes and ears.

551
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,078
Absolutely. No problem.

552
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,555
My first loyalty would always
be to the firm.

553
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:11,436
Keep us posted.

554
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:16,633
Oh... and don't mention this conversation
to Miss Drake or anyone else.

555
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:18,716
Oh, of course not.

556
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:23,308
And thank you. Thank you both very much.

557
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,634
Good morning, Melvin. Here's the money.

558
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,274
- You think I'm crazy?
- Crazy? Of course not.

559
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:32,356
Let's go do business.

560
00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:37,916
(excited shouting)

561
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:47,038
- Hi, Monty. Big day ahead, pal.
- Great! Let's kick some butt around here.

562
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:49,833
- Let's kick some butt around here.
- What?

563
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,315
- Who the hell are you?
- Who the hell are you?

564
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:56,479
I'm Morty King, king of the mimics.
Anything you say will be repeated.

565
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,477
I'm like a Xerox machine.

566
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:01,912
- Warren, hold it more to the left.
- Your left or my left?

567
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:04,548
There's Warren.
That must be Marilyn. Hey!

568
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:06,636
- Watch your mouth.
- Watch your mouth.

569
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,320
Warren, don't you remember
anything I taught you?

570
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:13,035
It's my left. It's always my left.
It's the decorator's left.

571
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:16,075
(Brewster) Watch out!

572
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:21,550
Oh, Warren. Are you OK?
Oh, my God. Be careful.

573
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:24,194
- Hi. I'm Monty Brewster.
- Monty Brewster!

574
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,629
How do you do?
I've heard so much about you.

575
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:29,354
- Please, may I call you Monty?
- Of course.

576
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,789
Monty, I have the most wonderful idea.

577
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:35,117
I am going to do for you
a postmodern fantasy in here.

578
00:39:35,240 --> 00:39:39,358
- I knew this was a terrible idea.
- You don't like postmodern fantasy?

579
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,637
- Shut your eyes and see Mesopotamia...
- Mesopotamia.

580
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:46,992
- ..meeting Busby Berkeley.
- Yes, it sounds... it's a knockout.

581
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:50,317
- We're gonna knock out the walls.
- Every one. Everywhere.

582
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:53,079
- Spare no expense.
- Spare no expense.

583
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:57,638
- It's only for a month.
- And it's gonna be a very long month.

584
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:00,835
- Get four sets.
- Get four sets.

585
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:02,712
Wonderful.

586
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,673
Angela, I need to speak to you. Please.

587
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:10,109
Angela, did Warren tell you that,
as my wedding gift to you,...

588
00:40:10,240 --> 00:40:12,390
..l'm decorating your apartment for free?

589
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:15,512
- That's great, Marilyn. Thank you.
- Pas de quoi.

590
00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:25,277
Spike, you know what I'd like
you to do? Choke this guy.

591
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:26,992
Come on, asshole.

592
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:31,636
I'll give you a line on anything.
Baseball, basketball, football, ponies.

593
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,471
Come on with me.
I gotta get my messages.

594
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:39,310
My name is Dr Jason. I'd like
to draw your attention to this area here.

595
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:41,908
This is the Arabian desert.
It is as dry as a bone.

596
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:44,474
Ice water can cost you
as much as $5 a glass.

597
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:46,636
This is the North Pole.
It's an ice floe.

598
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:50,753
Floating throughout this region are
many icebergs, and nobody owns them.

599
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:53,314
They're PDls - public domain icebergs.

600
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,637
I think you're beginning to recognise
how simple this idea is.

601
00:40:56,760 --> 00:41:00,230
Now. I would like to go there
and select a good-size iceberg,...

602
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,510
..dig out a chamber from its rear,...

603
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,313
..drop in two 20,000-horsepower
diesel engines,...

604
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:09,479
..and sail Brewster's Berg
Number One to Mecca.

605
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:12,672
- What do you think, sir?
- I don't know what to think.

606
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:17,433
Hello. Yes? What? It went up?

607
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:20,757
- Well, sell it.
- Don't sell it. You buy when it's like that.

608
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,555
- Great idea. What's your name?
- Luther.

609
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:27,639
I want to bet on every long shot in every
race, over 50-1, this week at Aqueduct.

610
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,716
For the week? Yeah, I can cover it.

611
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:34,550
- How much would it take to do this?
- Oh, no. It melts and he knows it.

612
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:38,036
We would experience a loss
of only 18% on the entire trip.

613
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:41,391
Hey! Think of what that means
to all those thirsty Arab farmers.

614
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:44,353
- What thirsty Arab farmers?
- There aren't any.

615
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:46,630
There's no farmers in the desert, Monty!

616
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:48,870
Well, I think that's unfair.

617
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:52,390
"Loyola vs Notre Dame?"
In a field-hockey game? This is fabulous!

618
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,670
- You went to Loyola.
- You gotta be kidding.

619
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,792
I wanna bet $50,000 that Loyola wins.

620
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:02,232
$50,000 on Loyola over Notre Dame and
$5,000 on every long shot for the week.

621
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:04,271
You are down.

622
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,396
It's field hockey!

623
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:09,478
If I gave you $1 million for this,
would that be enough?

624
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:12,512
$1 million. That would be great, sir.

625
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:13,749
- Hello.
- Brewster!

626
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:16,314
- Charley! How you doin'?
- All right!

627
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:20,115
- I just bought an iceberg.
- Not yet, he hasn't.

628
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:22,431
- And I rented a whole stadium.
- What?

629
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:24,790
I'm gonna spare no expense
in fixing it up...

630
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:28,037
..and making it look like
a big-league stadium...

631
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:31,391
..because we're gonna play
an exhibition game with the Yankees.

632
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:33,954
- The Yank.ees?
- New York Yankees.

633
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,719
- I gotta get the guys on the bus.
- Don't take the bus.

634
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:52,637
Chuck Fleming. I'm at Battery Park with
Montgomery Brewster and entourage,...

635
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:55,638
..awaiting the arrival
of the Hackensack Bulls,...

636
00:42:55,760 --> 00:43:01,710
..here to tune up for an unprecedented
game with the New York Yankees.

637
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:18,513
Yee-ha ha!

638
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,593
For Christ's sake, you fly
us all the way from Jersey,...

639
00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:37,234
..then you get these choppers
to fly us back here.

640
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:39,476
By bus, we'd have been
here two hours ago.

641
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:42,433
Not my team. From now on,
we travel first class!

642
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:46,588
Charley, welcome to New York City!

643
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:51,672
You guys look great.
How you like the new uniforms?

644
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:55,278
Wait till you see the apartments
I rented for you guys.

645
00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:57,556
He rented apartments for these guys?

646
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:00,797
Apartments? Penthouses
with swimming pools.

647
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:03,388
27 players, everybody's
got their own place.

648
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:08,156
We're gonna have a lotta fun, we're gonna
get in shape and beat the Yankees!

649
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:11,950
You oughtta lock him up for his own good.

650
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:15,709
What's he think he's doin'? The Yankees
see this, they're gonna rub it in.

651
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:18,957
Come on, Charley, relax! Enjoy yourself!

652
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,036
(whooping)

653
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:30,435
I hope we haven't underestimated him.

654
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:32,869
- I beg your pardon?
- Oh, you're doing fine.

655
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:37,596
This is the kind of flagrant misuse
of money we want to be apprised of.

656
00:44:37,720 --> 00:44:42,510
He's wasting millions of dollars. Look
at what he's spent on the decorations.

657
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:45,389
Wait till you see the practice field.

658
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:48,512
It's great. I'm gonna have
the bus take us over to the island.

659
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:51,518
- The practice field's on Long lsland?
- Yeah.

660
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:53,710
The airport's on Long lsland.

661
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:58,152
You flew us in from the airport to here
so we could take the bus back?

662
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:00,236
I couldn't get the band on the runway.

663
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:03,238
They wouldn't let me,
no matter how much money I offered.

664
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:05,828
Oh, yeah. You can't play
baseball without a band.

665
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,155
Right. Come on, let's get on the bus.

666
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:12,472
Come on. Move it!

667
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:19,911
Beautiful, Benny!

668
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:21,792
Pick it up! The white ball!

669
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:23,956
Hey, come on!

670
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:27,516
I don't know what's the matter with them.
We play better than that.

671
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:29,517
Maybe they're a little tight.

672
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:34,270
Maybe they're tired from that long flight
you chartered for them from Newark.

673
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:38,674
I'm gonna go warm up, Miss Drake.
Why don't you try the same?

674
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:42,273
Hey, come on! Look good out there!

675
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:44,868
Let's do 6-4-3. Pepper it up!

676
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:52,598
Collins, you got trouble with your glove?
Try catchin' it with your ass.

677
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:11,433
Hi, operator? Mr Brewster's suite, please.

678
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:14,636
(telephone rings)

679
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:26,996
- What?
- Hi, Brewster. This is Angela.

680
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:29,270
- Angela who?
- Angela Drak.e.

681
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:34,352
- Miss Drake.
- Could I come up and talk. to you?

682
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:36,630
- Talk to me now?
- Mm-hm.

683
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:40,469
- Perhaps in the morning.
- It's important. I need to see you now.

684
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:49,593
- Can't you tell me over the phone?
- No, because, look....

685
00:46:49,720 --> 00:46:53,269
This could do both of us a world of
good, ifyou k.now what I mean.

686
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,673
- Have you been drinking?
- No, not at all.

687
00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:00,030
And you wanna come up here
to my room now?

688
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:02,116
Mm-hm.

689
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:08,876
- Miss Drake?
- Uh-huh?

690
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:12,038
- Angela.
- Yes.

691
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:14,116
- Give me five minutes.
- 0K.

692
00:47:18,240 --> 00:47:21,437
Miss Drake says there's
a mad bomber in the building.

693
00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:23,755
They're getting the people
out of the hotel.

694
00:47:23,880 --> 00:47:26,394
Listen. Just get your wrap
and you go away.

695
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,193
You can come back tomorrow.
We can start all over.

696
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:32,073
- Well? Did he fall for it?
- Yeah, he fell for it.

697
00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:34,589
We're doing it for his own good!

698
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:37,039
Come on!

699
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:38,878
Adieu.

700
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:41,636
I was expecting you. The door's open.

701
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:43,716
Come in. The door's open.

702
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:46,911
Angela, hello.

703
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:49,110
Hello, Angela. Just be cool.

704
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:53,393
- Hi, Spike.
- Hi.

705
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:55,476
She's really a very nice girl...

706
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:58,636
- Hi.
- Hi, Spike.

707
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:02,550
The door's open. Come in.

708
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:09,790
- (gasps)
- Hi. Eugene Provost, financial adviser.

709
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:11,876
- Who in hell's this?
- A money man.

710
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:13,911
Money?

711
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:17,077
For the past five years,
this guy's predicted 88%.

712
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:19,395
88% of what this guy says makes money.

713
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:22,353
88.4% to be exact, but who's counting?

714
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:28,112
I'm so confident of my ability, I will
only take 15% of your profits after taxes.

715
00:48:28,240 --> 00:48:31,710
In other words, I only get paid
if you profit from my advice.

716
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:36,152
- Then you're hired.
- $100,000 a week plus 15%.

717
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:38,794
Monty, the man doesn't
want the $100,000.

718
00:48:38,920 --> 00:48:42,276
The man's gonna have to take
$100,000. That's what the job pays.

719
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:45,551
$100,000 a week plus 15%.
What do you say?

720
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:48,795
- I'll make an exception in your case.
- Good!

721
00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:50,876
Sure. Join the club.

722
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:55,433
Hey. 9.15. This is way
past your bedtime, Miss Drake.

723
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:58,075
You'll never know, Mr Brewster.

724
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:01,829
Be sure to get home before the sun
comes up. D'you know what I mean?

725
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:05,396
Good night, gentlemen.

726
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:11,750
Come on. Settle down, will ya?
Throw your arm out.

727
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:16,158
Goddamn it. She's gonna be real mad
when she finds out what's goin' on.

728
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:24,155
Will you forget about Angela?
She's a bad investment.

729
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:26,555
Eugene is helping me out
with my investments.

730
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:31,959
You know... precious metals, some rare
coins, some old stamps, stuff like that.

731
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:35,755
- He says it's a ledge against inflation.
- Stamps.

732
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:52,194
Thank you.

733
00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:54,356
Do you sell stamps?

734
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:57,870
I think that you want
the stationery store across the street.

735
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,639
The stamps we have
are very rare, very expensive.

736
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:02,318
How expensive?

737
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:05,751
- Well, let me show you, Mr, uh...
- Montgomery Brewster.

738
00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:10,670
Montgomery Brewster! I have been
reading about you in the newspaper.

739
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:12,916
I'd like to see your most expensive stamp.

740
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:14,996
Ah! One moment.

741
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:20,676
This may be the first intelligent
thing he's done with his money.

742
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:24,110
Maybe he's coming to his senses.
What do you think?

743
00:50:24,240 --> 00:50:28,119
I'm getting paid to take pictures.
My job is not to interpret reality.

744
00:50:28,240 --> 00:50:31,437
- You're a real jerk, you know that?
- Ain't that the truth.

745
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:33,278
Tell it to my accountant.

746
00:50:33,400 --> 00:50:38,076
As you can see, the airplane was
accidentally printed upside down.

747
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:40,919
Of the 100 of these stamps
originally printed,...

748
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:44,271
..this is the only known copy in existence.

749
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:48,951
Baron Levitsky recently offered $850,000
for it and I laughed in his face.

750
00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:59,351
I'd say the stamp he's bought
is a considerable asset.

751
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:04,116
He doesn't even understand the rules
yet. Let's see him get out of this one.

752
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:09,995
- Good morning. Here's the mail.
- Thank you.

753
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:14,113
- Is there anything else I can do?
- Hold on a minute.

754
00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:17,078
- Norris.
- Hm?

755
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:19,236
Hackensack Bulls.

756
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:25,640
"Having a wonderful time. Wish you
were here. Best wishes, Monty Brewster."

757
00:51:31,720 --> 00:51:32,755
God!

758
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:35,440
It isn't an asset any more.
He's mailed it.

759
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:39,035
- Get Cox over here.
- Right away, sir.

760
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:41,550
The son of a bitch.

761
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:44,673
So, in confidence,
you can see it's vital to the firm...

762
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:47,712
..that Brewster does not succeed
in spending $30 million.

763
00:51:47,840 --> 00:51:51,958
He's made a fool of you and your ex-wife.
We think he has designs on your fianc�e.

764
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:55,834
An error in book-keeping discovered
at the last moment should do the trick.

765
00:51:55,960 --> 00:52:00,078
Say a $20,000 mistake in Mr Brewster's
favour. It'll be our insurance policy.

766
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:04,910
And the $300 million will go to the firm.
Granville, Baxter and Cox.

767
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:06,792
Welcome aboard, Warren.

768
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:10,237
The big story on Wall Street
is that lcebergs lnternational...

769
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:12,635
..has been bought out
by Wometco Petroleum...

770
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:17,993
..in order to secure tax benefits within
the common mark.et. This will enable...

771
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:22,671
- Is he a genius, or is he a genius?
- Can't understand it, Mr Brewster?

772
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:28,352
The stock., which was valued at 1/, now
has a par value of over $9 a share.

773
00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:30,471
I wanna sell my stock in the lceberg.

774
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:34,036
Sell? Oh, no. That doesn't seem
like a very smart thing...

775
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:35,798
- Mr Brewster?
- What?

776
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:40,391
The parent company, Wometco, is one
of the strongest in the petroleum market.

777
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:43,592
They've been good performers
in profits and dividends.

778
00:52:43,720 --> 00:52:48,953
Don't sell. You've got obligations. A huge
payroll, overhead, retirement plans.

779
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:52,072
- You don't wanna lay anyone off, do ya?
- No, I don't.

780
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:59,753
Count it. It's all here.
Nothing but long shots, huh?

781
00:52:59,880 --> 00:53:02,917
You just won yourself a cool
million five, wise guy.

782
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:03,916
(cheering)

783
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:07,430
The word is out on you. I had
to lay these bets off all over town.

784
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:10,199
You don't make another bet
in this city again, ever!

785
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:13,915
Loyola 18, Notre Dame, zilch.
Thanks a lot, baby.

786
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:18,196
This is unreported income
gained from an illegal venture.

787
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:21,312
I recommend that you
dispatch a courier to Switzerland...

788
00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:23,715
..and deposit this money
in a secret account.

789
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:25,990
I don't want it. I'll give it to charity.

790
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:29,749
- What's your favourite charity?
- There are many worthwhile charities.

791
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:31,757
Many worthwhile charities!

792
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:35,190
Divide it up amongst
the many charities and give it to them.

793
00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:37,834
And go back to work,
because this is a business,...

794
00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:41,157
..and we're doing business
and nobody's business.

795
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:44,317
Do it. Business.
Good. I want business done.

796
00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:50,873
That was so wonderful
what you just did in there.

797
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,195
I know you think I'm always complaining,...

798
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:56,471
..but I can't stand seeing
these people take advantage of you.

799
00:53:56,600 --> 00:54:00,878
I appreciate what you're trying to do,
but you don't know what I'm trying to do.

800
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:03,992
- What are you trying to do?
- What I'm trying to do...

801
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:06,156
Monty.

802
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:09,796
- Could you step in here for a moment?
- Of course, Marilyn.

803
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:12,115
- Good afternoon, Angela.
- Hello, Marilyn.

804
00:54:12,240 --> 00:54:16,552
Well, Monty. What do you think
of our postmodern fantasy?

805
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:20,912
Hello, darling. Marilyn's really outdone
herself this time, don't you think?

806
00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:23,793
It's good. It is very good, Marilyn.

807
00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:28,072
But it's not great. I want you to reach
deep down inside yourself this time...

808
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:30,589
..and come up with something unique.

809
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:35,675
I wanna walk in this room and say
"Monty, I wanna die in this room."

810
00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:38,596
I wanna die in this room, Marilyn.

811
00:54:39,240 --> 00:54:42,516
And double the workmen's salary.
I mean, they look exhausted.

812
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:45,393
Help out. Come on! It's a business.

813
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:50,117
Angela! I'm not gonna be able
to make dinner, darling.

814
00:54:50,240 --> 00:54:53,550
- There's just too much to be done.
- Whatever you say, Warren.

815
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:57,396
A room you want to die in.

816
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:00,511
- What?
- What were you trying to tell me?

817
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:05,111
I don't know how to say this. Even though
I'm not the person you thought I was,...

818
00:55:05,240 --> 00:55:07,754
..l'm not the person that
you think I am now either.

819
00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:10,553
But why does making money
make you miserable,...

820
00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:14,514
- ..and when you lose it, you act happy?
- I can't get used to being rich.

821
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:16,915
But you mustn't just squander the money.

822
00:55:17,040 --> 00:55:19,270
Squander it? I'm making millions.

823
00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:23,912
We got off to a bad start. I thought we'd
take a ride and get to know each other.

824
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:25,951
You'll find out I'm not such a bad guy.

825
00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:29,789
- Miss Drake, your chariot awaits.
- Oh, no. I can't accept this.

826
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:34,550
- This is a $125,000 car.
- Eugene said I needed a tax write-off.

827
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:37,274
Can't we take a ride
without having an argument?

828
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:41,552
I promise not to spend any money...
except on you for lunch.

829
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:44,628
All right. But lunch and then that's it.

830
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:57,794
- So where shall we go?
- You're drivin'.

831
00:55:57,920 --> 00:56:01,310
Ooh, there's a nice little restaurant
near the place where I grew up.

832
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:03,795
It's not fancy, but...

833
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:05,911
What the... Are you all right?

834
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:08,276
- I think so.
- Are you sure?

835
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:17,909
I'm terribly sorry. The parking
attendant left my car in first.

836
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:21,555
When I turned on the ignition,
it shot forward. Are you all right?

837
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:24,114
- Fine, but you look hurt.
- Honestly, I'm fine.

838
00:56:24,240 --> 00:56:26,470
Look, here's my driver's licence.

839
00:56:26,720 --> 00:56:29,792
Great! Don't be ridiculous. Put that away.

840
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:32,480
You're in a state of shock.
Emotional trauma.

841
00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:36,036
- What are you talkin' about?
- Brain damage. He doesn't know.

842
00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:38,879
Hey, George! Get an ambulance!

843
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,195
Are you all right, Mr Brewster?

844
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:43,789
Brewster? Montgomery Brewster?

845
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:45,876
Yes, that's me.

846
00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:49,990
I don't feel very good.
I'm starting to lose feeling in my legs.

847
00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:55,877
- Stop it! Can't you see he's faking?
- I can't have this on my conscience.

848
00:56:56,000 --> 00:57:00,471
Dear sir. Could you settle this out of court
for a couple of hundred thousand dollars?

849
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:03,637
- Two ex-wives.
- Two ex-wives?

850
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:06,237
300,000?

851
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:08,555
You go to the doctor's right away, OK?

852
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:13,238
You give him this for a prescription...
and you'll be all right.

853
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:15,396
- Thank you.
- Have a good day!

854
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:20,514
(Brewster) Get a cold compress
for that thing on your head.

855
00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:25,073
Nice man.
See, the cheque'll be a receipt.

856
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:28,556
I'm starving. I'm ready to go to
lunch now. I wanna meet your family.

857
00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:30,910
Meet my family?
What do you wanna do? Buy 'em?

858
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:33,918
I would be ashamed
to introduce my family to you!

859
00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:36,156
Angela! Wait. Listen to me.

860
00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:40,592
Angela! Will you wait a minute? I did the
best I could. That wasn't that man's fault.

861
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:43,234
The first time you get
some money, what do you do?

862
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:46,352
You spend it and show off.
You just gave away $300,000!

863
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:48,596
(Marilyn) Oh, my God.

864
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,189
Oh, look at that. Isn't that awful?

865
00:57:52,520 --> 00:57:55,557
I don't believe it. How tasteless.

866
00:57:56,000 --> 00:58:01,438
That girl is ungrateful, considering all the
things you've done to try to improve her.

867
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:04,552
I just think this is unforgivable.

868
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:09,116
Thank you.

869
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:14,152
You may not be interested
in what Marilyn and I are doing,...

870
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:17,397
..but we have a real shot
at getting our work into AD next month.

871
00:58:17,520 --> 00:58:20,751
- AD?
- Architectural Digest.

872
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:24,194
That's wonderful.
I'm happy for you and Marilyn.

873
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:27,790
- Are you all right?
- I'm not very happy with this situation.

874
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:30,992
- You could have fooled me.
- What's that supposed to mean?

875
00:58:31,120 --> 00:58:34,635
That you and Monty seem
to be getting along well.

876
00:58:34,920 --> 00:58:38,913
Give everybody else in here whatever
they're drinking. Champagne, anything.

877
00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:40,189
Yes, sir.

878
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:43,631
Drinks on the house!
Courtesy of Mr Brewster.

879
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:46,354
Monty Brewster's extravagance
k.nows no bounds.

880
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:49,358
After paying the highest-recorded
price for a stamp,...

881
00:58:49,480 --> 00:58:52,392
..Brewster today shelled out
a record $600,000...

882
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:55,751
..for five cases of
114-year-old French wine.

883
00:58:55,920 --> 00:59:00,038
He stunned the crowd at the auction house
by not only paying in cash for the wine,...

884
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:03,948
..but by opening all 60 bottles
at a reception for the public afterwards.

885
00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:09,438
At $10,000 a bottle, that's gotta be the
most expensive hangover I've heard of.

886
00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:17,157
- Angela?
- What?

887
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:19,271
I asked if your feelings had changed.

888
00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:23,029
How can I make it any clearer?
Can you pay for the drinks and let's go?

889
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:25,071
The drinks are on Monty.

890
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:29,396
- Brewster?
- Yes?

891
00:59:29,520 --> 00:59:32,239
Looks like you've got
a busy evening ahead of you.

892
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:35,397
Yeah, I'm too busy to have fun.
I gotta spend money.

893
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:40,071
- Mailing that stamp was quite ingenious.
- You like that? And the wine auction?

894
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:44,830
Again, very imaginative. I understand
it cost $600,000, according to Miss Drake.

895
00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:49,630
There she goes again, as usual.

896
00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:54,197
I am tired of acting like a rich
asshole for everybody. I'm fed up.

897
00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:58,638
I should've took Uncle Rupert's wimp
clause. I don't think I can pull this off.

898
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:03,356
I don't know, but that baseball game
you're planning sounds like a good step.

899
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:11,799
My left leg. See? I planted it
down wrong. I was off balance.

900
01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:17,077
Ooh! Go ahead, Monty.
Now that's the Monty I know.

901
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:19,276
Hi, Monty. How's it going, buddy?

902
01:00:21,120 --> 01:00:23,156
- Tell him the good news.
- You tell him.

903
01:00:23,280 --> 01:00:26,670
- I got good news and bad news.
- Tell him the bad news first.

904
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:30,759
The bad news is I did what you wanted me
to do. I got rid of your lceberg stocks.

905
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:34,350
- That's great.
- You ready for the good news?

906
01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:38,996
I took Eugene's advice. I admit, without
you knowing, I used the corporate name.

907
01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:41,634
- I made some investments for you.
- That's OK.

908
01:00:41,760 --> 01:00:44,399
What did I buy?
A commodity thing, an oil well...

909
01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:47,114
- He just made you $10 million.
- $10 million!

910
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:50,516
- Woo-hoo hoo! Yee-ha ha!
- Isn't that wonderful?

911
01:00:50,640 --> 01:00:55,589
(chants) Ten million, ten million,
ten million dollars!

912
01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:57,517
No! Damn it!

913
01:00:57,640 --> 01:01:00,200
I'm right back where I started, damn it!

914
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:06,956
Jesus.

915
01:01:08,080 --> 01:01:12,471
$10 million. $10 million.

916
01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:16,875
What's the matter, Monty?

917
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:20,515
I make the guy $10 million
and he acts like it's a funeral.

918
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:23,029
It's American money.

919
01:01:23,160 --> 01:01:24,673
Congratulations.

920
01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:27,514
About that furniture
you wanted us to rent.

921
01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:32,475
I'm afraid the company requires
a substantial cash deposit. $20,000.

922
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:39,398
$20,000. Hey, don't forget.

923
01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:41,916
To give Angela the receipt? I know.

924
01:01:42,040 --> 01:01:44,679
- Have to keep those books straight.
- Yeah.

925
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:48,196
So long.

926
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:59,032
I'd like to be alone... by myself.

927
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:02,391
No problem. You must be getting
psyched up for the Yankee game.

928
01:02:02,520 --> 01:02:06,877
He always does this. He gets cranky cos
he's getting psyched up for a big game.

929
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:11,949
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
This time we'll just leave him alone.

930
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,230
- I don't get it.
- Yeah, what is with him?

931
01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:19,273
- We should consider psychiatric help.
- What are you? Nuts?

932
01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:21,356
(screams)

933
01:02:29,640 --> 01:02:31,870
OK.

934
01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:39,798
With two week.s until the election,
this station is sorry to report...

935
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:44,471
..that it is unable to endorse either of
the candidates for mayor of New York..

936
01:02:44,600 --> 01:02:49,116
Both Mr Heller and Mr Salvino have been
pumping scandalous amounts of money...

937
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:54,189
..into slick. advertising campaigns that, so
far, have only demonstrated their ability...

938
01:02:54,320 --> 01:02:57,790
..to slander each other
and squander campaign contributions.

939
01:02:57,920 --> 01:03:02,311
In the view of this station, the only
issue being raised by this debate...

940
01:03:02,440 --> 01:03:05,000
..is whether the city
of New York. is for sale,...

941
01:03:05,120 --> 01:03:08,112
..andjust how much slush money
it will tak.e to buy it.

942
01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:17,796
Running for office is expensive, and it's
unheard of to do it with your own money.

943
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:21,879
- Yeah. What's he know about politics?
- He's trying to do some good.

944
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:25,709
I've figured this out. That's why
he gets upset when he makes a profit.

945
01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:30,231
It makes him feel guilty. He's trying
to do the right thing for once in his life.

946
01:03:36,200 --> 01:03:37,952
Mr Brewster! Mr Brewster!

947
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:40,640
Mr Brewster, could you
give us your reasons...

948
01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:43,320
..for your sudden
and unexpected candidacy?

949
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:47,838
I figure voting for Salvino or Heller is
just as silly as them running for office.

950
01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:50,110
That's as silly as me running for office.

951
01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:52,754
What is not silly is the power
of the people's vote.

952
01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:55,872
I think the people should use
it to vote for...

953
01:03:56,800 --> 01:03:58,950
..none of the above!

954
01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:04,638
Are we to understand that you don't
actually want anyone to vote for you?

955
01:04:04,760 --> 01:04:08,673
What I'm saying is I think
only an idiot would vote for me.

956
01:04:08,840 --> 01:04:12,879
Mr Brewster, have you taken positions
on any of the issues facing the city?

957
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:15,389
Sanitation, union corruption...

958
01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:18,717
The bottom line is
I'm here to buy your votes.

959
01:04:19,200 --> 01:04:22,033
With only 10 days left
before the election,...

960
01:04:22,200 --> 01:04:24,839
..how will you find support
for that position?

961
01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:29,431
I don't expect support. I'm asking people
not to send money in to my candidacy.

962
01:04:29,560 --> 01:04:32,870
They should keep their money.
They'll need it after this election.

963
01:05:01,760 --> 01:05:03,990
Monty Brewster. That's me, right?

964
01:05:05,400 --> 01:05:09,871
Tonight, I'm here to talk to you
about "None of the above".

965
01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:12,878
You know how, at election time,
you decide not to vote...

966
01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:16,754
..because the two candidates
are so repulsive?

967
01:05:16,880 --> 01:05:19,348
Repulsive's not the word.
We 're all full of shit.

968
01:05:19,560 --> 01:05:22,836
I didn't think you could use
that kind of language on television.

969
01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:25,589
Maybe he's just trying
to get his point across.

970
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:28,837
I never wear a suit and a tie. Never.

971
01:05:29,280 --> 01:05:35,196
These are just things politicians use to
trick. you into think.ing they're respectable.

972
01:05:35,320 --> 01:05:37,311
Well... to the politician, huh?

973
01:05:51,520 --> 01:05:55,513
- He bought prime time on every station?
- Worse than that, he's on network.

974
01:05:55,680 --> 01:05:59,958
He's running spots in all 52 states
in case any New Yorkers are on vacation.

975
01:06:00,080 --> 01:06:03,231
Write in "None of the above"
on your ballot.

976
01:06:03,360 --> 01:06:06,238
Don't vote for any of us. We 're assholes.

977
01:06:06,600 --> 01:06:09,239
We 'll only mak.e things worse.

978
01:06:09,720 --> 01:06:12,280
Let's drink. to it.

979
01:06:47,680 --> 01:06:50,240
I wanna thank you
for coming out today...

980
01:06:50,360 --> 01:06:55,673
..to see to it that neither my opponents
nor me win the election.

981
01:06:55,800 --> 01:06:57,074
(cheering)

982
01:07:02,040 --> 01:07:03,837
I wanna ask the question.

983
01:07:06,600 --> 01:07:09,592
- Who's buying the booze?
- (all) You are!

984
01:07:09,720 --> 01:07:12,951
- Who's buying the food?
- You are!

985
01:07:13,080 --> 01:07:16,868
- And who's tryin' to buy your vote?
- You are!

986
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:20,231
- And who you're gonna vote for?
- None of the above!

987
01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:22,828
- Say it again!
- None of the above!

988
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:26,350
- Let me hear it one more time!
- None of the above!

989
01:07:28,200 --> 01:07:30,634
(chanting) Brewster! Brewster! Brewster!

990
01:08:01,600 --> 01:08:04,239
Call it outrageous.
Call it a breath of fresh air.

991
01:08:04,360 --> 01:08:07,158
But what you can no longer
call it is a jok.e campaign.

992
01:08:07,320 --> 01:08:10,073
Eccentric multimillionaire
Montgomery Brewster...

993
01:08:10,200 --> 01:08:13,476
..is electrifying crowds
and is starting to show up in the polls.

994
01:08:13,600 --> 01:08:18,116
All this reporter can say is I hate to
see what he could do if he was serious.

995
01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:55,596
So, what do you wanna talk about?

996
01:08:55,760 --> 01:08:59,958
- Me? Your people called my people.
- Bullshit. Your people moved first.

997
01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:02,514
What's the difference?
We got the same problem.

998
01:09:02,640 --> 01:09:04,312
Brewster.

999
01:09:04,440 --> 01:09:08,353
You heard what he said about us
yesterday. I'll quote it for you.

1000
01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:13,593
"Heller and Salvino are both just
a couple of overgrown wharf rats."

1001
01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:17,838
"Why else would anybody spend $10
million to get a $60,000-a-year job...

1002
01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:20,599
..unless he planned to steal
it back with interest?"

1003
01:09:20,840 --> 01:09:23,308
You and I are gonna sue him
for every cent he's got.

1004
01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:27,030
That's very good, Heller. Very good.

1005
01:09:46,680 --> 01:09:49,399
I called 'em a couple
of overgrown wharf rats...

1006
01:09:49,520 --> 01:09:53,433
..and I had to pay 'em $4 million
for the emotional damage it did.

1007
01:09:54,280 --> 01:09:57,909
- What do you think of your opponents?
- They're slime. You can quote me.

1008
01:09:58,040 --> 01:09:59,951
Don't quote him, please.

1009
01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:01,957
Any prediction on the game?

1010
01:10:02,080 --> 01:10:05,197
I'm takin' that game more serious
than I am this election.

1011
01:10:05,320 --> 01:10:07,276
Can we take anything you say seriously?

1012
01:10:07,400 --> 01:10:10,870
It's like the saying: "If bullshit
were money, I'd be a millionaire."

1013
01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:13,116
Well, I'm a millionaire.

1014
01:10:16,160 --> 01:10:20,312
He didn't mean that.
Don't you dare quote him on that.

1015
01:10:24,080 --> 01:10:27,629
You must be so nervous about this
game. You put everything into it.

1016
01:10:27,760 --> 01:10:29,557
Not everything, but a lot.

1017
01:10:29,680 --> 01:10:32,717
This is my big day.
I'm pitching against the Yankees.

1018
01:10:32,840 --> 01:10:36,037
I can get any team out for three innings.

1019
01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:41,274
(announcer) Good afternoon. The New York.
Yank.ee baseball network. is on the air.

1020
01:10:41,400 --> 01:10:43,960
We've got a special edition
of Yankee baseball,...

1021
01:10:44,080 --> 01:10:46,389
..a special three-inning exhibition game...

1022
01:10:46,520 --> 01:10:49,432
..between the New York. Yank.ees
and - are you ready for this? -

1023
01:10:49,560 --> 01:10:51,630
the Hack.ensack. Bulls.

1024
01:10:51,760 --> 01:10:55,719
I know they're the Yankees. You know
how many years I listened to you guys...

1025
01:10:55,840 --> 01:10:58,354
..complaining about
you never get your shot?

1026
01:10:58,480 --> 01:11:00,357
Well, today we get our shot.

1027
01:11:00,480 --> 01:11:02,471
There's gonna be sports writers there.

1028
01:11:02,600 --> 01:11:05,512
Newscasters, TV, radio.

1029
01:11:05,840 --> 01:11:08,832
Johnson, you're 26 years old, right?

1030
01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:11,474
You got a great glove. Perfect swing.

1031
01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:15,070
But if you don't show your stuff
out there, nobody's gonna know it.

1032
01:11:15,200 --> 01:11:18,237
Hey, you guys!
Let's go out there and kick a little ass!

1033
01:11:20,760 --> 01:11:24,275
And the Hackensack Bulls
take the playing field!

1034
01:11:30,480 --> 01:11:32,357
That was a great speech you made.

1035
01:11:32,720 --> 01:11:37,111
I know you got something to prove,
but don't try to show these guys up.

1036
01:11:47,880 --> 01:11:51,031
Monty looks so tiny. Those Yankees
look so big. Can he get hurt?

1037
01:11:51,160 --> 01:11:56,188
Nah. They'll just take his fast balls
and dent some cars in the parkin' lot.

1038
01:11:56,320 --> 01:11:58,436
I better move my limousine.

1039
01:11:59,000 --> 01:12:00,956
No votes for Brewster!

1040
01:12:01,080 --> 01:12:03,036
(cheering)

1041
01:12:06,480 --> 01:12:08,471
None of the above!

1042
01:12:08,600 --> 01:12:11,717
Hear this crowd go crazy.
That's for Montgomery Brewster.

1043
01:12:11,840 --> 01:12:14,559
That financial-world wizard
who came on the scene...

1044
01:12:14,680 --> 01:12:17,911
..and continues to thrill and delight
the fans of this stadium.

1045
01:12:18,040 --> 01:12:21,794
None of the above! None of the above!

1046
01:12:23,040 --> 01:12:25,395
All right! Let's play ball.

1047
01:12:28,760 --> 01:12:31,069
- Hackensack Bulls, huh?
- That's the name.

1048
01:12:31,200 --> 01:12:33,430
Robby digs in and we're under way.

1049
01:12:33,640 --> 01:12:37,315
Monty Brewster peers in at his sign
and kicks in the first pitch.

1050
01:12:38,560 --> 01:12:40,915
- Change-up?
- No, that was his fastball.

1051
01:12:41,240 --> 01:12:44,277
I guess you'd have to call that
his change-up, hey, Biff?

1052
01:12:50,040 --> 01:12:53,430
- (commentator) Swing on, it's a hotshot.
- Out!

1053
01:12:56,680 --> 01:12:57,795
You are out.

1054
01:13:00,320 --> 01:13:02,515
Ken Dixon stepping in for the Yanks. Biff?

1055
01:13:02,640 --> 01:13:06,155
Dixon's reputation as
a tough competitor is legendary, Vinnie.

1056
01:13:06,320 --> 01:13:10,552
Hey, Ken Dixon. It's a pleasure
to be on the same field.

1057
01:13:10,680 --> 01:13:12,796
I admire your work. You're a great hitter.

1058
01:13:12,920 --> 01:13:16,196
- That pitcher of yours thinks he's cute.
- He sure does.

1059
01:13:16,320 --> 01:13:18,709
You had a great season
this year, Mr Dixon.

1060
01:13:18,840 --> 01:13:21,308
I saw that game in Boston
back in June, was it?

1061
01:13:21,440 --> 01:13:24,591
- Saw that game?
- Yeah, I saw that game.

1062
01:13:26,840 --> 01:13:31,709
I tell you. Great game. Two home runs.
A triple. Six RBls. I can't believe...

1063
01:13:31,840 --> 01:13:35,719
- ..you didn't make the all-star team.
- I didn't believe it either.

1064
01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:42,671
That was a foul ball.

1065
01:13:43,960 --> 01:13:45,996
Come on, Monty. Keep it in there.

1066
01:13:49,880 --> 01:13:52,519
- Dixon, I saw your wife on television.
- Yeah?

1067
01:13:52,640 --> 01:13:54,710
- She sure is an ugly bitch.
- Thanks.

1068
01:13:54,840 --> 01:13:58,230
- Strike three, you're out!
- (yelling)

1069
01:14:01,480 --> 01:14:03,436
And you shut up. Get outta here.

1070
01:14:04,440 --> 01:14:06,112
You shut up. Get outta here.

1071
01:14:06,240 --> 01:14:08,515
- You shut up.
- What did I say?

1072
01:14:08,640 --> 01:14:11,950
- What happened, man?
- He called my wife an ugly bitch.

1073
01:14:12,960 --> 01:14:16,270
- Snack bar!
- I'm a snack bar? You're an asshole.

1074
01:14:16,600 --> 01:14:21,151
It's a heated exchange. Looks like this
game may have some real spirit after all.

1075
01:14:24,960 --> 01:14:26,712
It's all right. Come on.

1076
01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:32,912
One word out of you, fat boy,
and you eat your mask.

1077
01:14:33,040 --> 01:14:35,190
You won't talk to me
the way you did Dixon.

1078
01:14:35,360 --> 01:14:38,796
Can I help it if a guy can't take a joke?
Have you ever seen his wife?

1079
01:14:38,920 --> 01:14:41,195
Yeah. Ugly bitch!

1080
01:14:41,720 --> 01:14:46,874
(vinnie) There's a long drive to
deep centre field. Back., back., way back..

1081
01:14:54,320 --> 01:14:56,880
Mik.e Scharf with
a brilliant leaping catch.

1082
01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:02,076
(baseball match on Tv)

1083
01:15:02,400 --> 01:15:03,549
(coughs)

1084
01:15:05,240 --> 01:15:08,710
- Uh-huh?
- Warren Cox. You're expecting me.

1085
01:15:09,320 --> 01:15:11,390
Uh, yeah, right. The refund.

1086
01:15:11,520 --> 01:15:15,035
Yes. It's $20,000. That's the receipt.

1087
01:15:15,160 --> 01:15:19,278
I'm glad to get rid of it. Don't like
having that kind of money around here.

1088
01:15:19,400 --> 01:15:24,269
The boss wasn't too happy when he found
out Mr Brewster didn't like the furniture.

1089
01:15:24,400 --> 01:15:27,551
Yes, it's a pity, but he has no taste.

1090
01:15:30,440 --> 01:15:32,476
By the way, how's the big game coming?

1091
01:15:32,600 --> 01:15:35,592
Bulls are ahead one-zip, but
they're starting to hit 'em.

1092
01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:37,991
Right.

1093
01:15:39,560 --> 01:15:41,232
No, no, no, no, no!

1094
01:15:48,840 --> 01:15:52,833
(vinnie) Ken Dixon driving
a grand-slam home run...

1095
01:15:52,960 --> 01:15:55,633
..and the Yank.ees lead it four to one.

1096
01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:58,718
Listen to that scattered
applause here in Hack.ensack..

1097
01:15:58,840 --> 01:16:00,831
Sounds more lik.e a death k.nell.

1098
01:16:09,480 --> 01:16:11,994
That is true Yankee baseball
there, my friend.

1099
01:16:12,120 --> 01:16:17,240
New York Yankee power has burst
a balloon over Hackensack, New Jersey.

1100
01:16:17,360 --> 01:16:20,318
Wouldn't you know that the Bronx
Bombers'd be the bad guys?

1101
01:16:20,440 --> 01:16:21,634
Oh, my!

1102
01:16:27,800 --> 01:16:29,756
Gotta take you out, kid.

1103
01:16:33,640 --> 01:16:35,551
He just got lucky, Monty.

1104
01:16:37,800 --> 01:16:40,360
Hey, you did good, Brewster. Real good.

1105
01:16:40,480 --> 01:16:42,391
I'm proud of you and all the guys.

1106
01:16:42,520 --> 01:16:44,715
What the hell,
this is the New York Yankees.

1107
01:16:47,000 --> 01:16:48,956
(cheering and applause)

1108
01:17:05,760 --> 01:17:07,716
(umpire) Play ball!

1109
01:17:26,920 --> 01:17:30,833
That was a valiant effort. Your Uncle
Rupert would've been proud of you.

1110
01:17:32,480 --> 01:17:34,789
I thought my Uncle Rupert
didn't like losers.

1111
01:17:34,920 --> 01:17:37,593
Mr Brewster, I don't think you're a loser.

1112
01:17:38,280 --> 01:17:42,319
If it's the money you're worried about,
don't. I only have $38,000 left.

1113
01:17:42,440 --> 01:17:44,396
I could spend that tonight in my sleep.

1114
01:17:44,880 --> 01:17:47,713
Yes, but it looks like
you could win this election.

1115
01:17:47,840 --> 01:17:50,752
The job carries a $60,000 annual salary,...

1116
01:17:50,880 --> 01:17:54,714
..which would be considered
an asset by the terms of the will.

1117
01:17:57,640 --> 01:18:01,633
OK, here are the final totals. For the
Yankees to win, four runs on four hits...

1118
01:18:01,760 --> 01:18:03,876
Wait a minute.
Somethin' might be goin' on.

1119
01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:08,471
(vinnie) It looks like Brewster's
gonna address this crowd of folks.

1120
01:18:08,600 --> 01:18:12,149
Kill the commercial, fellas.
We're gonna stay right here.

1121
01:18:13,200 --> 01:18:15,668
I'd like to take my hat off to the Yankees.

1122
01:18:20,680 --> 01:18:25,231
Anybody can inherit millions of dollars
and buy hisself an election,...

1123
01:18:26,920 --> 01:18:31,072
..but it takes a real athlete
to be a professional baseball player.

1124
01:18:31,200 --> 01:18:35,637
And that's what all these gentlemen
here are today. Real professionals.

1125
01:18:42,720 --> 01:18:45,359
See, the election was
supposed to be a joke.

1126
01:18:45,480 --> 01:18:49,758
I didn't expect anybody to vote for me.
I didn't think I'd be taken seriously.

1127
01:18:49,880 --> 01:18:53,190
I thought "None of the above"
was a pretty good idea.

1128
01:18:53,320 --> 01:18:55,993
I don't wanna be mayor. I never did.

1129
01:18:56,120 --> 01:18:58,111
(shouts ofprotest)

1130
01:18:59,960 --> 01:19:03,873
How about that, Biff? Monty Brewster
is withdrawing from the election.

1131
01:19:05,520 --> 01:19:08,159
It's not all downhill. I mean I still got...

1132
01:19:09,240 --> 01:19:11,674
..$38,000 left.

1133
01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:15,156
I'm gonna throw a party tonight
at the hotel in New York...

1134
01:19:15,280 --> 01:19:17,236
..and you're all invited.

1135
01:19:57,200 --> 01:19:59,156
Hi.

1136
01:20:01,040 --> 01:20:02,996
I thought I'd find you here.

1137
01:20:03,120 --> 01:20:07,716
Since Warren's not around, I thought
maybe I could escort you to the party.

1138
01:20:08,680 --> 01:20:12,514
I'm sorry about you retiring from baseball.
I know how much it meant to you.

1139
01:20:12,640 --> 01:20:15,871
That's all right.
It happens to everyone sooner or later.

1140
01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:18,798
- It's the nature of the game.
- Yeah.

1141
01:20:20,320 --> 01:20:23,312
I don't think there's anything
left here for me to add up,...

1142
01:20:23,440 --> 01:20:27,558
- ..so I guess this is goodbye.
- Don't you wanna go to the party?

1143
01:20:27,680 --> 01:20:30,592
Oh, no. I couldn't stand another one.

1144
01:20:30,720 --> 01:20:33,518
I don't see what you
could possibly be celebrating...

1145
01:20:33,640 --> 01:20:36,598
..unless you think it's OK
to squander $30 million?

1146
01:20:36,720 --> 01:20:39,996
I don't. I just think maybe
it was a phase I was going through.

1147
01:20:41,680 --> 01:20:44,399
Tomorrow I won't be like this any more.

1148
01:20:44,520 --> 01:20:48,433
Come tomorrow, you are dead broke.
It's all over.

1149
01:20:48,560 --> 01:20:52,075
You don't even have a job playing
baseball any more and what do you do?

1150
01:20:52,200 --> 01:20:54,919
You throw a party with your last 38,000!

1151
01:20:55,040 --> 01:20:59,830
I pissed off so much money, I figured
what difference does $38,000 make.

1152
01:20:59,960 --> 01:21:04,829
How dare you? That's more money than a
lot of hardworking people earn in a year.

1153
01:21:04,960 --> 01:21:07,235
Get your values together
cos you'll need 'em.

1154
01:21:07,360 --> 01:21:10,272
Wait until tomorrow, then
you'll know what this is about.

1155
01:21:10,400 --> 01:21:15,190
Just forget it. I hope you have fun
at that party cos that's all you got left.

1156
01:21:21,040 --> 01:21:22,996
I love you.

1157
01:21:46,920 --> 01:21:50,629
Mr Donaldo, we're accepting
contributions for Mr Brewster...

1158
01:21:50,760 --> 01:21:52,716
..since he's currently insolvent.

1159
01:21:52,840 --> 01:21:54,796
Yeah. Put some money in here now.

1160
01:21:54,920 --> 01:21:57,753
I didn't bring my wallet.
I thought this was a free party.

1161
01:21:57,880 --> 01:22:00,713
- I see. Too bad.
- Do you put your money in tin cans?

1162
01:22:00,840 --> 01:22:04,594
You got it, big boy.
This gravy train ain't gonna run for ever.

1163
01:22:05,440 --> 01:22:07,396
Oh-ho, what's this?

1164
01:22:08,440 --> 01:22:12,069
Well, thank you very much.
This is generous of you. Very generous.

1165
01:22:12,200 --> 01:22:14,794
I'm gonna put you on
my Christmas-card list.

1166
01:22:17,280 --> 01:22:19,271
How about a glass of champagne?

1167
01:22:19,400 --> 01:22:22,551
How about a bottle of champagne?
I'm gonna get drunk.

1168
01:22:22,680 --> 01:22:24,193
(Spik.e) Monty!

1169
01:22:24,560 --> 01:22:26,915
Monty, good news, pal. Good news.

1170
01:22:27,080 --> 01:22:31,790
Mr Brewster, I think you're a hell of a nice
man and we took up a collection for you.

1171
01:22:31,920 --> 01:22:35,310
You've paid us all so much money,
we feel bad now that you're broke...

1172
01:22:35,480 --> 01:22:38,074
..so would you take this money, please?

1173
01:22:38,200 --> 01:22:41,033
I really appreciate this, but you know me.

1174
01:22:41,160 --> 01:22:43,355
I'll just spend it. I can't take it.

1175
01:22:43,600 --> 01:22:45,875
- Brother, take the money, please.
- I can't.

1176
01:22:46,000 --> 01:22:47,956
- Take the money.
- No.

1177
01:22:49,080 --> 01:22:52,231
I know. You don't want charity.
Forget the charity.

1178
01:22:52,960 --> 01:22:56,635
I was gonna save this for a rainy day.
I tell ya now, it's raining.

1179
01:22:56,840 --> 01:23:00,719
Except for a few suits that I bought,
I saved almost every penny you gave me.

1180
01:23:00,840 --> 01:23:02,796
Now, I got an idea.

1181
01:23:02,920 --> 01:23:06,754
We're gonna buy a Corvette and drive
across country to the Rocky Mountains.

1182
01:23:06,880 --> 01:23:13,274
- We'll buy a cabin and go fishing...
- Spike, you're beautiful, man. You are.

1183
01:23:13,400 --> 01:23:16,119
- But you don't know. Tomorrow...
- Yeah?

1184
01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:21,189
Almost let the cat out
of the bag, Uncle Rupert.

1185
01:23:21,560 --> 01:23:23,357
What are you talkin' about?

1186
01:23:23,480 --> 01:23:27,393
I can't tell my closest friend
cos my Uncle Rupert's a son of a bitch.

1187
01:23:27,520 --> 01:23:30,592
- Why? What are you saying?
- Uh...

1188
01:23:30,720 --> 01:23:32,870
Hey, it's supposed to be a party.

1189
01:23:33,000 --> 01:23:36,515
It's a party! How come everybody
ain't dancing and having a good time?

1190
01:23:37,000 --> 01:23:40,390
I mean, what? Somebody die?
I gotta get full value for my money.

1191
01:23:41,040 --> 01:23:43,998
You heard him. He said he doesn't want it.

1192
01:23:44,600 --> 01:23:46,875
Did you really spend all that money?

1193
01:23:54,240 --> 01:23:58,518
Nice friend I turned out to be. You give
me money so I could play catch with you?

1194
01:23:58,640 --> 01:24:01,393
Spike, you don't understand.

1195
01:24:01,520 --> 01:24:03,988
Nobody understands.

1196
01:24:04,120 --> 01:24:08,033
I don't even understand any more.
And I am sick of money.

1197
01:24:08,520 --> 01:24:11,956
I'm gonna take this
and I'm gonna go and get tore up.

1198
01:24:24,280 --> 01:24:27,590
Give me a few bottles
of what he's drinking, all right?

1199
01:24:28,680 --> 01:24:30,716
(# "Auld Lang Syne")

1200
01:24:53,760 --> 01:24:55,716
(clattering)

1201
01:25:15,560 --> 01:25:17,516
It's after three, Mr Brewster.

1202
01:25:19,840 --> 01:25:21,876
Checkout time?

1203
01:25:22,760 --> 01:25:25,832
I'm afraid you'll have to leave now.

1204
01:25:25,960 --> 01:25:29,794
Like I always said, Mr Carter.
You're a real nice man.

1205
01:25:32,800 --> 01:25:36,793
I believe everything you're wearing
belongs to us, Mr Brewster.

1206
01:25:38,000 --> 01:25:40,150
I almost forgot.

1207
01:25:44,240 --> 01:25:47,277
Just the clothes on my back.
That's what they said.

1208
01:25:47,400 --> 01:25:51,473
Piss off $30 million.
Makes a lot of sense, Uncle Rupert.

1209
01:25:51,920 --> 01:25:53,876
You asshole.

1210
01:25:56,160 --> 01:25:58,594
I'm gonna recommend
your shop to all my friends.

1211
01:25:58,880 --> 01:26:02,111
You lease some great clothes. All of 'em.

1212
01:26:03,440 --> 01:26:05,396
Keep this, too.

1213
01:27:04,160 --> 01:27:08,676
Monty? Well, hello.
I hardly recognised you.

1214
01:27:09,560 --> 01:27:11,790
It's ready, sir. What do you think?

1215
01:27:13,400 --> 01:27:15,550
Do you like it?

1216
01:27:15,680 --> 01:27:18,672
Marilyn, this is the room I could die in.

1217
01:27:18,800 --> 01:27:20,791
Thank God.

1218
01:27:20,920 --> 01:27:22,876
I'm so glad.

1219
01:27:24,600 --> 01:27:26,591
OK, boys.

1220
01:27:27,080 --> 01:27:29,036
Take it all back.

1221
01:27:41,080 --> 01:27:43,196
I wish you had the dough
to keep it, Monty.

1222
01:27:58,600 --> 01:28:03,355
- Taxicab, Mr Brewster?
- I can't afford it now. I'm outta money.

1223
01:28:04,880 --> 01:28:08,873
You'll never guess who I voted for
this morning. "None of the above".

1224
01:28:10,080 --> 01:28:12,036
That's good.

1225
01:28:12,840 --> 01:28:14,796
That's real good.

1226
01:28:29,120 --> 01:28:32,908
This is Chuck Fleming in Times Square.
That newsflash tells it all.

1227
01:28:33,160 --> 01:28:36,072
Former candidate Montgomery
Brewster,...

1228
01:28:36,200 --> 01:28:40,113
..who withdrew from the campaign
yesterday, and apparently dead broke,...

1229
01:28:40,240 --> 01:28:42,515
..checked out of his hotel
a few hours ago,...

1230
01:28:42,640 --> 01:28:45,791
..wearing the baseball jersey
and cap he had on 30 days ago.

1231
01:28:45,960 --> 01:28:48,235
Where is he now? Nobody seems to know.

1232
01:28:48,400 --> 01:28:51,915
We followed his roller-coaster
ride of success and failure...

1233
01:28:52,040 --> 01:28:53,996
..and now it would seem to be over.

1234
01:28:54,120 --> 01:28:57,749
But those of you following the election
results know that that's not so.

1235
01:28:57,880 --> 01:29:02,112
If you're out there, Monty, turn on a radio
or a TV set or pick up a newspaper.

1236
01:29:02,240 --> 01:29:05,391
I think you might be proud of
what's happened in this city today.

1237
01:29:05,520 --> 01:29:07,476
Chuck Fleming, Action News.

1238
01:29:24,280 --> 01:29:27,352
Oh, Monty. Just the man I wanted to see.

1239
01:29:28,320 --> 01:29:31,551
I've got wonderful news.
No, wonderful, wonderful news.

1240
01:29:31,680 --> 01:29:36,196
Do you remember the $20,000 that you
gave me as a deposit on the furniture?

1241
01:29:36,320 --> 01:29:39,710
Well, here it is. You're not broke after all.

1242
01:29:39,840 --> 01:29:41,796
Isn't that fortunate?

1243
01:29:42,880 --> 01:29:45,519
- Three minutes.
- I'm sorry, Roundfield,...

1244
01:29:45,640 --> 01:29:50,555
..but our records indicate Brewster
still has a substantial amount of money.

1245
01:29:50,680 --> 01:29:52,910
- Really?
- Mm-hm.

1246
01:29:57,160 --> 01:29:58,479
(yells)

1247
01:29:58,600 --> 01:30:00,716
I can't believe it! I quit!

1248
01:30:16,040 --> 01:30:19,589
I guess I didn't do so good.
I still got $20,000 left.

1249
01:30:20,520 --> 01:30:23,956
Look, I know I lost and everything...

1250
01:30:24,080 --> 01:30:26,640
..so I'll sign what you want
me to sign and leave.

1251
01:30:26,760 --> 01:30:29,433
- Give him the quitclaim papers.
- Use my pen.

1252
01:30:31,240 --> 01:30:33,993
Mr Brewster, you still have
two full minutes.

1253
01:30:34,120 --> 01:30:37,556
Two full minutes for what?
I blew it. I'm burnt out.

1254
01:30:38,320 --> 01:30:42,438
We were rooting for you all the way.

1255
01:30:43,840 --> 01:30:47,389
- Warren, what are you doing?
- Ssh! He's about to sign it all away.

1256
01:30:47,520 --> 01:30:50,557
- What are you doing here?
- Closing out Brewster's account.

1257
01:30:50,680 --> 01:30:54,593
- Sign what away?
- Ssh! I guess I can let you in on it now.

1258
01:30:54,720 --> 01:30:58,759
In a few seconds I'm gonna be a full
partner, as soon as he signs that paper.

1259
01:30:58,880 --> 01:31:01,314
See, the reason that
he blew the $30 million...

1260
01:31:01,440 --> 01:31:04,477
..was so he could get
his real inheritance of $300 million.

1261
01:31:04,600 --> 01:31:07,433
He had to spend all that money?
Why didn't he tell me?

1262
01:31:07,560 --> 01:31:10,950
It was a condition of the will.
He had to keep it a secret.

1263
01:31:11,080 --> 01:31:14,390
If it's such a big secret,
how come you know all about it?

1264
01:31:14,520 --> 01:31:16,476
I'm afraid that too is a secret.

1265
01:31:16,600 --> 01:31:19,398
Uh-uh. He did spend that money.
I have the receipts.

1266
01:31:19,520 --> 01:31:23,354
Maybe you're not so thorough.
Remember the Dawson and Clark account?

1267
01:31:23,480 --> 01:31:25,630
Fine custom furniture and draperies?

1268
01:31:27,680 --> 01:31:30,592
- No! Give me that!
- Monty, stop! Don't sign anything!

1269
01:31:30,720 --> 01:31:33,871
Miss Drake! This is a private meeting.
Leave or you'll be fired.

1270
01:31:34,000 --> 01:31:34,989
Sign right here.

1271
01:31:35,120 --> 01:31:38,874
Warren cheated. They put him up to it.
He withheld the $20,000 deposit...

1272
01:31:39,000 --> 01:31:40,956
..so Monty would think he'd spent it.

1273
01:31:41,080 --> 01:31:44,038
I forgot to give her the receipt.
It was an honest mistake.

1274
01:31:44,280 --> 01:31:46,874
Gentlemen, is there any truth
to this accusation?

1275
01:31:47,080 --> 01:31:49,514
Preposterous. We're completely innocent.

1276
01:31:49,640 --> 01:31:52,279
- You are fired, Miss Drake.
- Oooh.

1277
01:31:55,240 --> 01:31:57,356
My lucky day, huh, Warren?

1278
01:31:57,480 --> 01:31:59,391
You're my pal, right?

1279
01:31:59,520 --> 01:32:01,909
You're a liar, Warren.
You tricked me! Set me up!

1280
01:32:02,040 --> 01:32:03,951
No, no, no. That was just a coincidence.

1281
01:32:04,080 --> 01:32:06,674
You're a terrible liar
and an awful decorator.

1282
01:32:06,880 --> 01:32:10,270
- It's better than being rabbits.
- What are you insinuating?

1283
01:32:10,400 --> 01:32:12,231
You're a big girl. You figure it out.

1284
01:32:12,480 --> 01:32:14,914
Hold it, hold it, sister. Take it easy.

1285
01:32:15,040 --> 01:32:17,110
You're a lady.
I want you to remain a lady.

1286
01:32:17,240 --> 01:32:20,391
That's excellent advice,
Mr Brewster, but a little late.

1287
01:32:25,560 --> 01:32:29,314
I'm glad you did that because
I'm gonna sue you for so much money,...

1288
01:32:29,440 --> 01:32:31,396
..you'll be in debt to me for life.

1289
01:32:31,520 --> 01:32:34,512
How d'you like to settle
out of court for $20,000 in cash?

1290
01:32:35,400 --> 01:32:39,154
You think I came down with the last
drop of rain? I'm not falling for that.

1291
01:32:39,280 --> 01:32:42,875
No settlements. I'm taking you to court.
What are you gonna do?

1292
01:32:43,160 --> 01:32:44,115
(clock. chimes)

1293
01:32:44,240 --> 01:32:47,550
When that clock strikes 12,
you are dead broke for life.

1294
01:32:47,680 --> 01:32:50,035
You're a loser. A real loser.

1295
01:32:50,880 --> 01:32:53,917
I'll need an attorney.
Will $20,000 be enough of a retainer?

1296
01:32:54,040 --> 01:32:58,272
- I'm a paralegal. I don't have a degree.
- You can get one with $20,000.

1297
01:32:58,400 --> 01:33:01,472
- You need a receipt!
- (clock. starts strik.ing 12)

1298
01:33:01,600 --> 01:33:03,556
I'll give you a receipt.

1299
01:33:04,720 --> 01:33:07,393
Please! Hurry, please.

1300
01:33:15,760 --> 01:33:17,432
(strik.ing ends)

1301
01:33:18,280 --> 01:33:21,556
As the executor of your
great-uncle's will, I hereby declare...

1302
01:33:21,680 --> 01:33:25,832
..that the full inheritance
of $300 million is yours.

1303
01:33:25,960 --> 01:33:26,915
Wow!

1304
01:33:27,040 --> 01:33:29,110
Congratulations.

1305
01:33:29,240 --> 01:33:32,073
Gentlemen, I sense
conspiracy to defraud here.

1306
01:33:32,240 --> 01:33:36,358
I'll have to order a full investigation,
with your consent, Mr Brewster.

1307
01:33:36,480 --> 01:33:39,233
Well... Send 'em to the showers.

1308
01:33:39,520 --> 01:33:43,195
It'll take 20 years to dry off where
you're goin'. Better take a big towel.

1309
01:33:43,320 --> 01:33:45,470
Mr Roundfield, you're a real nice man.

1310
01:33:45,680 --> 01:33:48,319
Thank you very much.
You're a real nice man.

1311
01:33:48,480 --> 01:33:51,756
Warren, better learn the blues.
You know...

1312
01:33:52,360 --> 01:33:54,794
# Hey, baby, I'm sorry I did it

1313
01:33:54,920 --> 01:33:56,831
# I didn't mean to do it

1314
01:33:56,960 --> 01:33:58,916
# We got the money

1315
01:33:59,400 --> 01:34:01,356
(# "In The Nick. 0f Time" by Patti LaBelle)