1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:04,395 Passes the time, Doc. 2 00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:09,076 You know, it's not a crime to admit enjoying it. 3 00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:12,714 You're becoming a sentimental old fart. 4 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,428 That bloody Meehan. Who does he think he is? 5 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:22,832 Don't you worry about Meehan. l've got something sorted for him. 6 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,754 Mr Popular. Time to meet your friends. 7 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,796 You can't put me back on the wing. 8 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:35,078 - You scratch my back, l'll scratch yours. - Sykes will fucking kill me. 9 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,390 You know the itch l want scratching. 10 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,949 l don't want Meehan on that pitch, understand? 11 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,874 OK. l know what needs to be done. 12 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,076 Nice and easy. 13 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,993 Right down the middle. 14 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,751 And a one, and a two. 15 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,431 And a three. 16 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:01,629 Good shot. Good shot. 17 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,390 Where have you been? The governor's been waiting. l'll take him in. 18 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:09,073 OK, miss. 19 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:12,550 l've thought of a way l can really help you. 20 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:17,157 - The sad old twat videos all their games. - Really? 21 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:21,916 And l've written some pointers. My own little dossier on the guards. 22 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:26,870 l'm sure you'll find it very interesting. Now hurry up, we haven't got much time. 23 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,315 Quicker. 24 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:37,389 One thing. This is strictly sex. l ain't gonna respect you after. 25 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,597 - Don't blame you. - Girls like to brag down the pub as well. 26 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:42,159 l've heard. 27 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:48,273 What? Easy. 28 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:52,399 - Change her oil, did you? - Gentlemen should never kiss and tell. 29 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,354 - l'd better go home. - Massive? 30 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,956 lnside information on the opposition. Read it carefully. lt's important. 31 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:10,033 All right, Danny. There's a meeting in Mr Sykes' cell. 32 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,436 All right, lads. A bit of wind-up material on the opposition. 33 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,477 Ketch, this one's for you. 34 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:33,393 You know how Ratchett's going on about his dodgy knee? 35 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,959 lt's the right one. 36 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,637 This one is dynamite. 37 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:46,918 Marsden's daughter, Donna, has been known to dabble in class A drugs. 38 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,355 Let him know about it at the right time. 39 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:53,229 Here we go, Danny boy. 40 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,909 And now for our secret weapon. 41 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:01,038 - Danny, tape. - Oh, shit, l forgot it. 42 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:05,239 - l left it in my locker. - l'll get it. Need a slash anyway. 43 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,960 Cheers, Doc. Sorry, boss. 44 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:11,908 That's right, get the old boy working. 45 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,753 Danny, why did you do it? 46 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,676 Throw that game. 47 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,474 Fuck me, Jerome, you do talk too much. 48 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:40,508 - Sorry. - No, you're all right. 49 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,839 lt's funny, but when you're in that football world, 50 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,434 you just don't realise what it means to people. 51 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:53,196 You only find out how disappointed they are, when you let them down. 52 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:58,150 l was 16 when l signed pro forms. Thought l was the business. 53 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,039 Didn't take long for standards to start slipping. 54 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,716 Cars, booze, bad tips for slow horses... 55 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:12,512 You think you can handle it, then bang, very soon it's handling you. 56 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:17,390 Before l was picking up trophies, l was 425 grand down... 57 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:23,549 ...to men nasty enough... Well, even they would have put the wind up Mr Sykes. 58 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,790 But they did give me two choices. 59 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:32,955 A wheelchair for life, or a deliberate penalty against the Germans. 60 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,433 lt's not as if l've prospered. 61 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,909 Look where l've ended up. 62 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:46,469 But l'll tell you something - l didn't start off out as a youngster, 63 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:48,870 looking to sell my country out. 64 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,595 None of us planned to be here, mate. 65 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:56,230 Och, away tae fuck, man. You were a hero in Scotland. 66 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:15,110 Sign it, and l'll ship you straight out of here. 67 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,393 OK. 68 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:22,395 Even down here you ain't safe from Sykes. He's put a price on you, sunshine. 69 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:26,439 - Killing Doc, that was a big mistake. - Fuck him. 70 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:32,152 Where am l off to, boys? HMP Silver Sands, where all the toffs go? Whatever. 71 00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:35,717 - Not exactly, no. - No? 72 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:40,032 No. You're catching the ghost train out of here to the funny farm. 73 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,792 To the funny farm. 74 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,633 Her Majesty's Prison - Broadhurst. 75 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,630 What? l'm gonna get you! Yeah! 76 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,189 l'm gonna find your house. l'm gonna blow it up. 77 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:54,750 No, you won't. By the time the orderlies have finished with you, 78 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,229 you won't be able to blow your nose! 79 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,599 Go on, get in there. 80 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,032 l'm gonna get you! 81 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,989 l reckon you're quits now, old man. 82 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,150 Mean Machine, Mean Machine... 83 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:50,153 No, don't you worry about the car. l'd have my bloody house on this one. 84 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:51,958 Done deal, darlin'. 85 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,348 Yes. 86 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,359 Wanker. 87 00:07:56,920 --> 00:08:01,471 OK, gentlemen. You've got 90 minutes to show them 88 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:06,236 that when it comes to physical and mental strength, they can't touch us. 89 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:12,077 Most of them are gonna want to mix it up out there. Don't get involved. 90 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,392 All right, lads. You wanna be nothing, 91 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:21,270 numbers, prisoners, that's fine. 92 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:24,955 But you win today, you'll have something you remember forever. 93 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,315 Talk about it over and over 94 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:32,235 because there are cons that are pig sick at not being here in your shoes. 95 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:35,551 Just to have one crack at those bastards next door. 96 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:40,271 Let's win, and let's win well. 97 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:45,548 Lose and they'll never let you forget it. 98 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:50,430 Run your guts out, and you'll have something in here they can never touch. 99 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:56,277 No parole boards, judges or nutcase governors. 100 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:01,276 They've got one good player, but he's had his moment. 101 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,158 And this is a team game. 102 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:06,039 Now ask yourselves one question... 103 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,516 - Are you ready? - Yes. 104 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,477 - Are we? - Yes. 105 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,915 - Well, come on! - Yeah! 106 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:19,119 l'm looking at each and every one of you lads to get out there 107 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:23,717 and show them who's boss. Come on! 108 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:27,668 Hold up for Mr Sykes. 109 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:36,634 Doc was a different generation, and he saved all his life. 110 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:40,475 But before he died, he had me sort out these. 111 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,473 Come and get them, lads! 112 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,871 Good afternoon, l'm Bob Likely. You join us live from the recreation field. 113 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,793 l'm Bob Carter, and thanks again to our esteemed governor... 114 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,269 - Wanker. - ...for providing the splendid facilities 115 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:59,273 that are here today as part of his rehabilitation campaign. 116 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,398 And for our audience, cooped up inside, here's a weather report. 117 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,039 lt's a beautiful day. 118 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,909 And what a day it is! And the waiting's over. 119 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,640 The guards are out first, fronted by Mr Burton. 120 00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:20,750 And here comes the Mean Machine, 121 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:24,754 led out by our most famous son, Danny Meehan. 122 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:28,276 - Don't worry. The boys are well up for it. - l'm not worried. 123 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:32,278 - Where did they get that kit? - Cheeky bastards. 124 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:40,113 Mean Machine! Mean Machine! 125 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,193 Skip. 126 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,271 - Your call. - Heads. 127 00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:01,233 - As we are, then. - OK. 128 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,196 This is the one. Take your chances. 129 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,430 Don't start anything. lf they do, finish it. OK? 130 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,239 - Yes! - Come on, lads! 131 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:18,879 - Let's wipe the floor with this shite. - Simple ball every time. 132 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:27,191 Boy, Mr Sykes, you look the part. All you need now is a... 133 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:31,954 lt's the one we've all been waiting for. 134 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,192 Longmarsh prison guards versus Longmarsh prison cons. 135 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,635 lt's the cons to kick off, Bob. 136 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,630 lt's a free kick to the cons. 137 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,510 Ketch has just floored Mr Ratchett. 138 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:57,908 What's the matter? 139 00:11:58,080 --> 00:11:59,433 Shut up, you pussy! 140 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,955 You fucking bastard! 141 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,509 Well done, Ketch. Just be subtle. 142 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,716 Which one's he then? 143 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,276 Come on, take him out, son! 144 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:14,034 And Trojan evades Marsden brilliantly. 145 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,919 lf only he could have done that the night he got nicked. 146 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,951 The keeper plays it long. 147 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,190 Walker brings it down to the halfway line. 148 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,316 lt's a misplaced pass to Jerome McFife, 149 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,789 but the ever observant Mr Burton kicks it back to the guards. 150 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,315 lt's a neat one-two. Walker to Burton. 151 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:33,314 Back to Walker. He shoots. Just past the post! 152 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:34,708 Almost. 153 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:36,791 That was a bit too close for comfort. 154 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,076 Too fucking close for my liking. 155 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,798 Get up there! 156 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,679 Monk plays it out to Meehan. Meehan has the ball in the centre. 157 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,239 Goes forward unchallenged. 158 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:47,868 Burton takes Meehan's legs away. Meehan does not look happy. 159 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,431 Now that's it, Burton! 160 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:56,279 What's the matter with the rest of you? 161 00:12:56,440 --> 00:13:00,149 You four stand there. Split on my run. l wanna try something. 162 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:04,916 Meehan to take it. Looks like he might chip this one. 163 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,951 Right in Ratchett's crown jewels. 164 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:16,590 lt'll take more than magic sponge to take the sting out of that. 165 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,194 Fuck...me! 166 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:21,476 Ref, that was bloody deliberate! 167 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:25,110 Free kick. Handball. Protect yourself at all times. 168 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,912 Ten yards! Ten! 169 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,389 Come away! 170 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:49,035 Right in his carrots and onions. 171 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,679 No nookie for Mr Ratchett. 172 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,796 No nookie for Mrs Ratchett neither. 173 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,837 Play on! 174 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,070 Just goes to show, lightning can strike twice. 175 00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:58,434 Abso-fucking-lutely. 176 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,672 23 minutes of the first half to go, and it's getting heated out there. 177 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,308 Yeah, Bob. Very rock'n'roll. 178 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,153 Fuckin' hell! 179 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,790 - He's gotta get back in goal. - l ain't telling him. 180 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,151 - Piss off, you Scotch bastard! - How's your daughter, by the way? 181 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:37,438 Donna. Still hanging about on street corners to feed the habit? 182 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,230 What's up with you? 183 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,598 Christ's sake! 184 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:09,715 That's it, fellas, good teamwork. 185 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,950 - That was a hard but a fair tackle. - Yeah, it was a fair challenge. 186 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,270 But that wasn't. 187 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,273 This could be dangerous for the cons. 188 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:23,998 lt's a free kick. 189 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:25,718 Don't think l didn't see it. 190 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:29,429 Ketch has took a strop. And the guards look determined to convert this. 191 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,238 Make it count! 192 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,550 The Monk's collected it cleanly. 193 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:04,838 The Monk - calm and calculated. Looks like the therapy's paying off. 194 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,834 Once again, Monk's played it to Trojan, who's again switched to the left. 195 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,036 He must be ambidextrous. 196 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:14,237 l don't know, but he can use both feet. 197 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:32,756 - Goal! - Yeah! 198 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,630 Goal! 199 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:44,918 Yeah! 200 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,356 - Beauty! You beauty! - Go on, my son. 201 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:00,035 We're all over them. 202 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,556 - One-nil to the Mean Machine. - lt's the guards to kick off. 203 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,950 - lt's getting tough. - You can say that again. 204 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:10,113 - lt's getting tough out there, Bob. - Never mind, Bob. 205 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,879 Oh no, it looks like the Monk's at it again. 206 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,917 Pass it! 207 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,878 - Do that again and l'll rip your head off. - Ref, did you hear that? 208 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,512 l'm not worried. He said it to you, not me. 209 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,193 Let's go, sonny. 210 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:49,189 - What's he doing? - You're the skipper, you tell him. 211 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,793 Bollocks. 212 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,913 Hold on. 213 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,195 Fucker! 214 00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:58,828 lt's kicked off. Let's just try and keep calm. 215 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:03,278 - Referee! - Go on, get in there. Go on, chin him! 216 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:04,873 This isn't a football match! 217 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,156 - Do him! - Go on, do him! 218 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,276 - This is bollocks! - Do him! 219 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:10,998 Who are you hitting? 220 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:15,756 This is bollocks! What's going on here? 221 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,435 - You want some? Come on. - Any day. 222 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,352 Where are you, referee? 223 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,671 - Excuse me. Sorry. - Calm down, everybody! Come on! 224 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,628 - Ref, how long? - Bollocks, that'll do. 225 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,031 Half-time, come on. 226 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:41,310 One-nil to the Mean Machine, one-nil... 227 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:48,474 What the hell do you think you're doing? You're supposed to throw this game. 228 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,712 Yeah, they don't seem to be taking notice of me. 229 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,030 Youthful exuberance. 230 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:56,239 Shame. 231 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,310 lt would have worked out nice. 232 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,869 What do you think Danny will say in the dressing room? 233 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,749 l think he'll be saying there's only 45 minutes left to play. 234 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,069 Yeah. 235 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:17,195 Settle down, boys. Have a listen. We ain't won nothing yet. 236 00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:21,035 All we've got is one goal. Now this half is when we're gonna earn it. 237 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:25,637 Midfield, tuck in, get round behind the ball. Monk? 238 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:29,759 Good work, Monk, just don't leave us exposed at the back, all right? 239 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:34,115 - Mouse? - lt's my nose. 240 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,636 - Bill, you come on for Mouse. - Where am l playing? 241 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,110 You take his place in midfield. Frenchie, have a look at his nose. 242 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,829 OK, we've botched it, but we're one-nil down. Mr Hayter, when the... 243 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,116 You think about it! 244 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:53,355 We're getting beaten by a bunch of worthless criminals. 245 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:57,399 - l'm doing my half-time talk, sir. - Sit down. 246 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,915 Have you forgotten who they are? 247 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:04,198 They're the dregs of society, and they're in the next dressing room. 248 00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:07,033 And they're laughing at you right now. 249 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,355 Just remember this: 250 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:15,116 every man here is playing for his job. 251 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,794 lncluding you. 252 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:27,358 - You wanted to see me? - Yes. 253 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,239 - What's going on? - You wanted a game. 254 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,233 Yes, but you never said anything about winning. 255 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,551 You never said nothing about losing either. 256 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,678 Before leaving us, Nitro wrote a confession. 257 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,229 He admitted killing Doc. 258 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:46,598 He said you knew about it, and you sent Doc to your cell. 259 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,833 Now that's accessory to murder, 260 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,275 and that's 20 years. 261 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,836 You'll never get that to stick. 262 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,912 One whiff of this will kill you with the parole board. 263 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,640 You could be with us for some time. 264 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:07,112 So l think it's in everyone's interest 265 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,350 if you lose this game. 266 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,953 - l can't do that. - You've done it before. 267 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,673 You had everything they ever dreamed of, 268 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,593 and you threw it all away. 269 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,832 Meehan has given it away again. 270 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,674 For fuck's sake, Danny, l was open. 271 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:17,558 l didn't see you. 272 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,950 Looks like he's in a world of his own. 273 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:27,236 Wake up, Meehan. 274 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,072 The ball's played out to the left. 275 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:34,755 Hibert picks it up and moves forward to the 1 8-yard box. 276 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,512 The defender cuts inside. 277 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,433 He plays it to Hayter, who knocks it through for Downes. 278 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,591 Oh no, he's been brought down in the area. 279 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,671 Could be a penalty. 280 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,991 The ref's waved play on. What goes through Monk's head? 281 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:50,869 - Scary thought. - l'd hate to think what he dreams about. 282 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,870 lt's getting naughty out there. 283 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,632 Positively brutal. 284 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,268 Are they fighting or doing the tango? 285 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,113 No, they're definitely fighting, Bob. 286 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:51,029 Billy's chasing the ball like a terrier. 287 00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:55,271 Shame he hasn't got the skill to match his enthusiasm. 288 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:59,115 - Shame he's fucking useless, Bob. - Abso-fucking-lutely, Bob. 289 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,153 Ratchett's taken out Cigs. 290 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,788 Looks like the guards aren't taking any prisoners. You get it? 291 00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:15,758 Whatever, Bob. 292 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,914 You, fuckin' watch it. 293 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,674 No, you fuckin' watch it, you fat bastard lndian! 294 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,553 That's going a bit too far, innit? 295 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:39,596 - He took a dive! - Number 7, violent conduct. Off the park. 296 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,910 lt was a dive, look! 297 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,310 - Come on. Do one, now. - Fuck off! 298 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,517 The cons are down to ten men. 299 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:49,750 lt's an early bath for Raj, 300 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,593 which is really gonna put pressure on the Mean Machine. 301 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:56,275 lt's disappointing. lt's not gonna be easy out there. 302 00:24:56,440 --> 00:25:01,514 That's right. And they're taking full advantage of the extra man on the pitch. 303 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,830 Walker's through ball to Mr Gayle, 304 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:07,709 who plays it, and Hayter, and Monk... Superb save, way down to his left. 305 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,233 All right! 306 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,960 29 minutes, still one-nil, and the cons are holding out. 307 00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:14,793 And the Monk's going on another walk-about. 308 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,872 But this time he plays it safe to Trojan out wide. 309 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,115 - All Troj has to do is look up. - And pass it. 310 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,874 - Pass it. - Pass it. 311 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,190 - Pass it. - Pass it. 312 00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,510 Pass the fucking ball! 313 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,196 Yes! 314 00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:52,828 Goal! 315 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,117 Two-nil for the cons, ten men down, 316 00:25:56,280 --> 00:26:01,718 their liberty taken away from them, locked in a cell for 23 hours a day. 317 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,599 and today, our boys had their day. 318 00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:10,193 What's up with you? 319 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,868 For the last hour of my life, 320 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,678 l have been free! 321 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,400 Mean Machine! Mean Machine! 322 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,950 Mean Machine! Mean Machine! 323 00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:24,031 Yes! 324 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,672 lt's the guards to kick off. 325 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:33,791 Mr Williams lays it back for Mr Hibert, who whips a beautiful ball into the box. 326 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,474 Monk's got it covered. Safe as houses. 327 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:40,599 - You've gotta love the Monk. - Gotta love the Monk. 328 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,955 What's Monk doing? He's left an empty net! 329 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:04,716 He's lost the fuckin' ball! 330 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,189 He's lost the fuckin' plot. 331 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,758 Guards' goal. Two-one. 332 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:17,911 Yes! 333 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,637 Hey! Stop fucking about back here! 334 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,109 Get the ball up the park! 335 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,635 All right. My fault. 336 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,229 lt's no longer just a game out there. 337 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,595 There's a match on now. 338 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,348 - Have a word, Dan. - Fuck off, Trojan. 339 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,400 - Come on, let's go. - Come on, boys. 340 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,356 The cons kick off. 341 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:55,150 But what is he doing? He's given it straight away. 342 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,312 He's hit the bar. 343 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:02,996 You see, there's no cohesion, there's no character. 344 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,276 The Mean Machine need their star player 345 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,556 to pick up his game now. 346 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:13,191 - What is Meehan doing anyway? - lt's like he's not even on the pitch. 347 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:19,232 What's up with you? l never touched you. 348 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:22,198 Looks like Danny's injured. 349 00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:25,875 You're cheating now. Once a loser, always a loser. 350 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,112 - Dan, where did you get hit? - Down there. 351 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:31,555 Doesn't look too clever, boys. 352 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,280 - l can't see anything. - Let's get him up. 353 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,910 Come on. Don't put no weight on it, Dan. 354 00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:41,038 Meehan's leaving the pitch. Let's hope they bring a sub on. 355 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:44,909 - lt's 1 1 against 9 out there. - All right, got it. 356 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:47,230 - Get it fixed. - OK, we got it. 357 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,436 Shove up and shut up. 358 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:53,673 The guards are moving the ball nicely. 359 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:55,398 Neat passing. 360 00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,632 But the cons are determined not to give up. 361 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:04,232 There's nothing wrong with that leg, is there? 362 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:11,793 - Why don't people just let me play? - Didn't think you'd sell us out. 363 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:16,511 Not after the big ''it's your time'' speech. 364 00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:26,032 - ls there something l should know? - He's fucked something up. 365 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,270 Could be a strain. 366 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:42,669 lt's getting tough. The guards are putting the pressure on. 367 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:46,435 Fuckin' hell, Massive, help us out. We've only got nine men on! 368 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,319 Get a sub on. 369 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,791 Walker to Marsden. 370 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,675 Downs, wide to Hibert. 371 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:04,956 Hibert clips it forward. 372 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,113 Walker brings it down. 373 00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,032 The cons are swamped at the back. 374 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,760 Ratchett's free in the area. 375 00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:14,876 Oh, no! 376 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,190 Yes! Yes! 377 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:22,229 - Two-fucking-two. - Good one! Good one! 378 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:26,273 Thanks, Danny Meehan. 379 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:30,839 Two-two. 380 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,389 Right, now a third. Get up there! 381 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,393 Ref. Sub. 382 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:49,313 - Mass, look... - lt's your life. 383 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,956 Ratchett's brought down Billy the Limpet. 384 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,111 And that's like kicking a puppy dog. 385 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,509 Give me my boot. 386 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,792 Yes! Ref! Ref! 387 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,676 l'm coming back on. 388 00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,717 - Sit down. - Forget it, Meehan. 389 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:17,393 Who's coming on? 390 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:18,515 - Me. - Him. 391 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,831 - l am. - You're playing like crap and you know it. 392 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,355 - Who's in charge here? - On you go. 393 00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:27,353 - l'm in charge. Danny's coming on. - Hold it! 394 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:29,590 - Listen, l'm the owner. - You? 395 00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:31,159 - Yes. - The owner? 396 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,756 - Yes. - Behave. Manager's decision. You, on. 397 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,750 The great Meehan returns to the pitch. 398 00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:46,199 Yeah, that's all we need. lf he carries on playing like he did before he went off, 399 00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:49,670 we may as well all go home now, Bob. 400 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,354 Ketch knocks it out wide to Trojan. 401 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:05,195 lt's amazing. The guards still find it hard to deal with this man. 402 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,590 l'm with you here if you want. 403 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:10,911 Shoot! Shoot! Pass it, l'm on! Pass it here! 404 00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:14,072 Trojan plays it into the centre. 405 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,310 l'm free there! 406 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,631 - Well, l didn't see you, did l? - Really? 407 00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:24,236 Chiv, pass it! 408 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,514 Chiv, pass it! 409 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,637 Oh, God. That was a meeting of minds. Not a pretty sight. 410 00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:46,109 Meehan's trying to redeem himself. 411 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,317 Yeah, but he's gonna have to do a lot of work to manage that. 412 00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:51,789 Meehan is now everywhere. 413 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:55,191 He is bobbing and weaving, Bob. 414 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,078 No way was that offside. 415 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:15,995 That's the way it's done, pal. 416 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:19,197 The ball's pushed high into the guards' half. Cigs pulls it down. 417 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,555 Shoots. What a goal! 418 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,439 - The Mean Machine are in front again. - There's a flag. 419 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:28,593 - God bless the Mean Machine. - Keep your shirt on. 420 00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:32,275 - Wait a minute... - There's something going on. 421 00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:35,591 - They're still celebrating. - lt's been disallowed. 422 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,718 The ref has gone to the linesman. 423 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:40,757 There's confusion on the pitch. 424 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,514 - There certainly is. - They're conferring. 425 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:48,151 Surely not! Now, if this stands, it's a free kick to the guards, 426 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:52,029 - 35 yards out from the goal. - Get up, you bloody tart. 427 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,998 OK, let's get him off. 428 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:58,470 lt's in a goal scoring position if l've ever seen one. 429 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:00,790 We're in the dying seconds of the game. lt's two-two. 430 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,554 Lee, get changed. You're on, mate. Ref! 431 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,870 Mr Ratchett, are you all right, sir? 432 00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:10,110 Obviously not. All right, take him away. 433 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:15,718 - Are you gonna do nothing about that? - lt's a free kick, now take it. 434 00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:19,156 - How long? - Just moving into injury time. 435 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:22,232 This is it. lf he scores now, it's all over. 436 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,152 All right, stick it in. 437 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:27,551 Prison warder Mr Gayle, will take it. 438 00:34:28,240 --> 00:34:31,949 He curls it. lt's heading to the top right-hand corner. 439 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,398 No! 440 00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:02,039 Yeah! 441 00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,909 Guards of Pentonville, guards of Wandsworth... 442 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,878 - ...Walton nick in Liverpool... - ...policemen of Britain... 443 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,998 traffic wardens and parole officers, wheel clampers, 444 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:27,836 your boys have taken a hell of a beating today. A hell of a beating. 445 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:22,238 Mean Machine! 446 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:26,070 Mean Machine, Mean Machine... 447 00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:30,589 Mean Machine, Mean Machine... 448 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:52,911 Burnin' me head out! Burnin' me head out! 449 00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:55,116 All down, Danny, all down there. 450 00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:58,317 - You're all right, Dan. - Take that. 451 00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:01,153 - l told you l wouldn't let you down. - Well done! 452 00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:09,399 Ruin my life, l'm gonna fucking ruin your life. 453 00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:13,829 No. You're not stitching anyone up. Not on my watch. 454 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:18,350 What are you gonna do about it? Your job, your pension... 455 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:20,158 My arse. 456 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,638 Good game. 457 00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,593 Jesus, what was that? 458 00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,830 Looks like your Saab. 459 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:38,437 And what he said goes for me and all, and Barry the Bookie too. 460 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,592 Nice one, Danny! 461 00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:51,350 l want him in solitary, 462 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:56,150 and l'm the governor, and that's an order. OK? 463 00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:58,515 Shut up! 464 00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,198 Stick that in your trophy cabinet.