1 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:50,334 Do you consider the book to be autobiographical? 2 00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:53,836 Well, I mean... 3 00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,845 ...isn't everything autobiographical? 4 00:01:57,050 --> 00:02:01,487 I mean, we all see the world through our own tiny keyhole, right? 5 00:02:01,721 --> 00:02:03,586 I mean, I always think of Thomas Wolfe. 6 00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:07,054 Have you ever seen that little one-page "Note to Reader"... 7 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:09,353 ...in the front of Look Homeward, Angel? 8 00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:15,066 Anyway, he says that we are the sum of all the moments of our lives... 9 00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:19,034 ...and anybody who sits down to write will use the clay of their own life... 10 00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:20,729 ...that you can't avoid that. 11 00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:25,809 So when I look at my own life, I have to admit, right, that I... 12 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:30,606 I've never been around a bunch of guns or violence, you know, not really. 13 00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:34,752 No political intrigue or a helicopter crash, right? 14 00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:39,448 But my life, from my own point of view, has been full of drama, right? 15 00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:42,560 And so I thought, if I could write a book... 16 00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:47,164 ...that could capture what it's like to really meet somebody... 17 00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:50,061 One of the most exciting things that's happened to me... 18 00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:52,534 ...is to meet somebody, make that connection. 19 00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:56,765 And if I could make that valuable, you know, to capture that... 20 00:02:57,477 --> 00:03:00,742 ...that would be the attempt, or... 21 00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:03,782 Did I answer your question? 22 00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:06,784 I'll try to be more specific. 23 00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:09,949 Was there ever a French young woman on a train you met... 24 00:03:10,156 --> 00:03:12,454 ...and spent an evening with? 25 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:19,263 See, to me, that... I mean... 26 00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:22,866 ...that's not important, you know? - So that's a yes? 27 00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:27,795 All right, since I'm in France and this is the last stop of my book tour, yes. 28 00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:30,438 Thank you. 29 00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:34,010 Mr. Wallace, the book ends on an ambiguous note. 30 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,511 We don't know. 31 00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:38,308 Do you think they get back together in six months... 32 00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:41,951 ...like they promise each other? 33 00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:44,487 Like they promised? 34 00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:48,787 I think how you answer that, you know, is... 35 00:03:49,662 --> 00:03:52,893 It's a good test, right, if you're a romantic or a cynic. 36 00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:57,125 Right? I mean, you think they get back together, right? 37 00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:58,827 - You don't, for sure. - No. 38 00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:01,006 And you hope they do, but you're not sure. 39 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,870 - That's why you're asking the question. - Do you think they get back together? 40 00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:07,203 I mean, did you in real life? 41 00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:10,512 Did I in real...? 42 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,477 Look, in the words of my grandfather, okay: 43 00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:16,746 "To answer that would take the piss out of the whole thing." 44 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:21,148 We just have the time for one last question. 45 00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:23,055 What is your next book? 46 00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:28,166 I don't know, man. I don't know. 47 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:31,870 I've been... I've been thinking about this... 48 00:04:32,071 --> 00:04:34,733 Well, I always kind of wanted to write a book... 49 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:38,570 ...that all took place within the space of a pop song. 50 00:04:38,811 --> 00:04:41,905 Like three or four minutes long, the whole thing. 51 00:04:42,181 --> 00:04:45,639 The story, the idea, is that there's this guy, right... 52 00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:48,547 ...and he's totally depressed. 53 00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:52,918 His great dream was to be a lover, an adventurer, you know... 54 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,856 ...riding motorcycles through South America. 55 00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:58,791 And instead he's sitting at a marble table eating lobster. 56 00:04:58,998 --> 00:05:02,058 He's got a good job and a beautiful wife, right, but that... 57 00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:05,601 Everything that he needs. But that doesn't matter... 58 00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:08,773 ...because what he wants is to fight for meaning. 59 00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:11,270 You know? Happiness is in the doing, right? 60 00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:13,775 Not in the getting what you want. 61 00:05:14,013 --> 00:05:17,471 So he's sitting there, and just that second... 62 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:21,915 ...his little 5-year-old daughter hops up on the table. 63 00:05:22,121 --> 00:05:25,386 And he knows that she should get down, because she could get hurt. 64 00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:30,289 But she's dancing to this pop song in a summer dress. 65 00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:32,931 And he looks down... 66 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,634 ...and all of a sudden, he's 16. 67 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:41,940 And his high-school sweetheart is dropping him off at home. 68 00:05:42,141 --> 00:05:45,668 And they just lost their virginity, and she loves him... 69 00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:49,814 ...and the same song is playing on the car radio. 70 00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:53,017 And she climbs up and starts dancing on the roof of the car. 71 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:54,776 And now he's worried about her. 72 00:05:54,987 --> 00:05:59,253 And she's beautiful, with a facial expression just like his daughter's. 73 00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:01,752 In fact, maybe that's why he even likes her. 74 00:06:01,994 --> 00:06:04,861 You see, he knows he's not remembering this dance... 75 00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:08,794 ...he's there. He's there, in both moments, simultaneously. 76 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,436 And just for an instant, all his life is just folding in on itself. 77 00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:15,334 And it's obvious to him that time is a lie. 78 00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:20,111 That it's all happening all the time... 79 00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:23,840 ...and inside every moment is another moment... 80 00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:25,947 ...all happening simultaneously. 81 00:06:26,185 --> 00:06:29,245 Anyway, that's kind of the idea. Anyway. 82 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,956 Our author has to be going to the airport soon... 83 00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:36,059 ...so thank you all very much for coming over this afternoon. 84 00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:39,526 And a special thanks to Mr. Wallace for being with us. 85 00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:41,164 Thank you. Thank you. 86 00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:44,029 We hope to see you here again with your next book. 87 00:06:50,676 --> 00:06:54,009 Thank you all. How much longer before I have to go to the airport? 88 00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:55,805 Oh, you should leave at 7:30... 89 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,573 - Seven-thirty at the very latest. - Okay. 90 00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:06,822 - Hi. - Hello. 91 00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:12,158 - How are you? - Good, and you? 92 00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:16,730 I'm good, yeah, I'm great. I'm... 93 00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:19,868 Do you wanna, maybe, get a cup of coffee? 94 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,074 Didn't he just say you have a plane to catch? 95 00:07:24,143 --> 00:07:27,044 Yeah. But, I mean, I have a little time. 96 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,712 - Okay. - Yeah? All right, well, let me... 97 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,009 I'll meet you outside. Okay. 98 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:37,119 Excuse me. I'm just gonna go get a cup of coffee. 99 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,585 - I'll be back at 7:15. - Did you sign all these? 100 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:42,386 - Yeah, I sure did. - Get your driver Philippe's card... 101 00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:45,096 ...so you can call his cell if you're running late. 102 00:07:45,364 --> 00:07:47,889 We'll put your bags in the car so you're not late. 103 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,625 - All right, thanks for everything. - Thank you. 104 00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:54,939 Which one's Philippe? 105 00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:16,224 - I can't believe you're here. - I live here in Paris. 106 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:20,962 Are you sure you don't have to stay? You're not supposed to talk more? 107 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,225 They're sick of me. I spent the night here. 108 00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:26,768 - You did? - Yeah, they got a loft upstairs. 109 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,505 - How are you? This is so weird. - I'm fine. 110 00:08:29,775 --> 00:08:33,438 - It's good to see you. - It's good to see you. 111 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,248 - So you want to go to a caf�? - Yeah. 112 00:08:38,484 --> 00:08:40,816 Okay. There's one a little further that I like. 113 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,888 I thought I was gonna totally lose it in there when I first saw you. 114 00:08:45,124 --> 00:08:46,819 How did you know I was gonna be here? 115 00:08:47,059 --> 00:08:51,428 It's my favorite bookstore in Paris. You can sit down for hours and read. 116 00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:53,599 I love it. There's fleas, but, you know... 117 00:08:53,799 --> 00:08:56,131 I know. I think a cat slept on my head last night. 118 00:08:56,335 --> 00:08:58,929 I saw your picture on the calendar about a month ago... 119 00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:00,969 ...and that you were going to be here. 120 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:04,307 It's funny, because I read an article on your book... 121 00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:08,469 ...and it sounded vaguely familiar. - Vaguely? Yeah. 122 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:12,681 But I didn't put it all together until I saw your photo. So... 123 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:15,012 Did you have a chance to read it? 124 00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:16,653 Yes, I... 125 00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:19,290 I was really, really surprised, as you can imagine. 126 00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:22,119 I mean, I had to read it twice, actually. 127 00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:24,352 - Yeah? - Yeah. 128 00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:28,391 No, I liked it. It's very romantic. 129 00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:31,229 I usually don't like that, but it's really well-written. 130 00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:34,473 - It's well-written. Congratulations. - All right. Thank you. 131 00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,738 - Wait. - What? 132 00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:40,945 Before we go anywhere, I have to ask you... 133 00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:42,904 Sure. What? 134 00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:46,084 Did you show up in Vienna that December? 135 00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:52,321 - Did you? - No, I couldn't. But did you? 136 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:55,858 - I need to know. It's important to me. - Why, if you didn't? 137 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,230 Well, did you? 138 00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,898 No. 139 00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:03,034 Thank God you didn't. 140 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,032 - Oh, my God. - Thank God you didn't. 141 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:08,729 Thank God I didn't and you didn't. If one of us had showed up alone... 142 00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:11,341 ...that would have sucked. - I was so concerned. 143 00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:15,378 I felt horrible about not being there, but I couldn't. My grandma died... 144 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,845 ...and she was buried that day, December 16th. 145 00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:20,609 - The one in Budapest? - Yes. You remember that? 146 00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:23,616 - I remember everything. - Of course, it was in your book. 147 00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:27,088 But anyway, I was about to fly to Vienna, you know... 148 00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:31,353 ...and we heard the news about her, and of course I had to go to the funeral. 149 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,259 Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that. 150 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:37,197 I know. But you weren't there anyway. 151 00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:39,904 Wait. Why weren't you there? 152 00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:43,438 I would have been there if I could have. I made plans... 153 00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:45,871 You better have a good reason. 154 00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:47,409 What? 155 00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:50,947 Oh, no. 156 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,642 No, you were there, weren't you? 157 00:10:53,919 --> 00:10:56,547 Oh, no, that's terrible! 158 00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:58,450 I'm laughing, but I don't mean it. 159 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,489 Did you hate me? You must've hated me. 160 00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:02,923 - Have you been hating me all this time? - No. 161 00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,426 - Yes, you have. - No. 162 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,461 But you can't hate me now, right? 163 00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:09,793 - I mean, my grandma... - I don't hate you. It's no big deal. 164 00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:12,560 I flew all the way over there, you blew the thing off. 165 00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:15,831 My life's been a big nosedive since, but it's not a problem. 166 00:11:16,108 --> 00:11:18,906 - No, I'm kidding. - Don't say that. I can't believe it. 167 00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:21,579 You must have been so angry with me. I'm so sorry. 168 00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:24,272 I wanted to be there, more than anything in the world. 169 00:11:24,483 --> 00:11:27,179 - Honestly, I swear... - You can't be angry, my grandmother... 170 00:11:27,386 --> 00:11:31,015 I know. I honestly thought that something like that might have happened. 171 00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:33,282 I was definitely bummed, but... 172 00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:37,155 Mostly I was mad we hadn't exchanged any phone numbers or any information. 173 00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:39,331 That was so stupid. No way to get in touch. 174 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,830 - Nothing to go on. - I didn't know your last name. 175 00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:45,197 Remember, we were both afraid if we started writing and calling... 176 00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:48,931 ...that it would slowly fade out. - It definitely wasn't a slow fade. 177 00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:50,335 No, it sure wasn't. 178 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,340 We wanted to pick up where we left off. 179 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,878 Which would have been fine if it had worked. Oh, well. 180 00:11:57,249 --> 00:11:58,773 So... 181 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,582 - How long were you in Vienna, then? - Just a couple days. 182 00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:06,283 Did you meet another girl? 183 00:12:06,525 --> 00:12:09,085 Yeah, her name was Gretchen and she was amazing. 184 00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:11,990 The book's really a composite of the two of you. 185 00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:15,997 No, I'm kidding. You wouldn't believe... I even went back to the train station. 186 00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:20,296 I put up signs of my number in the hotel in case you'd been delayed. 187 00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:23,134 - I was a total dork. - Let's go this way. Did you get any calls? 188 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,545 Just a couple hookers looking for a gig. 189 00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:29,304 No, it was awful, I mean, what do you want me to say? 190 00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:30,880 It's so sad. I'm so sorry. 191 00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:34,176 I walked around for a couple days. Eventually, I flew home. 192 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,650 I owed my dad 2000 bucks... 193 00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:38,857 ...who had warned me about French chicks. 194 00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:40,922 What did he tell you about French women? 195 00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:43,218 Nothing. He's never met any French women. 196 00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,692 He's never been east of the Mississippi. 197 00:12:45,898 --> 00:12:50,096 Why didn't you put, "Six months later, the French bitch didn't show up"? 198 00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:51,860 No, but I did, I did. 199 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:55,005 - You did? - Yeah. No. I made it more hopeful. 200 00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,732 I wrote this fictional version where you do show up. 201 00:12:57,977 --> 00:13:00,411 - Oh, what happens? - Well... 202 00:13:01,747 --> 00:13:03,339 What? 203 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,752 We make love for about 10 days straight, that's one part of it. 204 00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:09,716 - Interesting. So the French slut, right? - Yeah, exactly. 205 00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:12,423 It's just then they get to know each other better... 206 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,593 ...and realize they don't get along at all. 207 00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:18,092 - I like that. It's more real. - My editor didn't think that way. 208 00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:20,390 Everyone wants to believe in love. It sells. 209 00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:22,567 Yeah, exactly, so... 210 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,862 So things are going well for you, right? I mean... 211 00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:29,268 - Your book is a bestseller in the U.S. - It's a tiny bestseller. 212 00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:31,476 - Oh, come on. - All right. Officially, yes. 213 00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:34,804 Most people haven't read Moby Dick. Why should they read my book? 214 00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:37,244 I haven't read Moby Dick and I liked your book. 215 00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:39,713 - Thanks. - Even though... 216 00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:42,682 ...I thought you idealized the night of it. 217 00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:44,583 Come on, it's fiction, right? 218 00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:46,417 - I'm supposed to... - I know, I know. 219 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,822 I know. I thought there were times where you made me... 220 00:13:50,095 --> 00:13:54,429 Well, I mean, her, right? No, me. Okay, whatever. 221 00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:57,693 - A little bit neurotic. - You are a bit like that, aren't you? 222 00:13:57,937 --> 00:14:01,134 - You think I'm neurotic? - No, no, no. Come on, I'm kidding. 223 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,171 Where did I do that? I didn't do that. 224 00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:06,071 Oh, maybe it's just me, you know... 225 00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:09,270 Reading something, knowing the character is based on you... 226 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:12,143 ...it's both flattering and disturbing at the same time. 227 00:14:12,384 --> 00:14:13,851 How is it disturbing? 228 00:14:14,119 --> 00:14:18,283 I don't know. Just being part of someone else's memory. 229 00:14:18,490 --> 00:14:21,084 Seeing myself through your eyes. 230 00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:23,659 How long did it take you to write it? 231 00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:26,426 Three or four years, on and off. 232 00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:29,793 Wow, that's a really long time to be writing about one night. 233 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:32,663 Yeah, I know. Tell me about it. 234 00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:35,439 I always assumed you had forgotten me. 235 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,605 No, I had a pretty clear picture of you in my mind. 236 00:14:38,844 --> 00:14:41,210 - I have to tell you something. I just... - What? 237 00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:45,179 I've wanted to talk to you for so long that now... It's just surreal, you know? 238 00:14:45,417 --> 00:14:47,146 I feel like everything should be... 239 00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:49,753 How long do we have? Twenty minutes and 30 seconds? 240 00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:52,253 We got more than that. I wanna know about you. 241 00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:55,051 Tell me, what are you doing? What are you up to? 242 00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:59,889 Where to start? I work for Green Cross. It's an environmental organization. 243 00:15:00,165 --> 00:15:01,462 What are they all about? 244 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:04,225 We basically work on different environment issues... 245 00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:07,030 ...from clean water to disarmament of chemical weapons. 246 00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,673 International laws that deal with the environment. 247 00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:12,207 - What do you do for them? - We're going this way. 248 00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:13,975 Different things. 249 00:15:14,213 --> 00:15:18,047 Like, last year I was in India for a while, working on a water-treatment plant. 250 00:15:18,884 --> 00:15:22,183 Well, the cotton industry there is a major source of pollution, so... 251 00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:25,289 I mean, it sounds like you're actually doing something. 252 00:15:25,524 --> 00:15:28,925 Most people, myself included, just sit around and bitch. 253 00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:33,758 You know, how America's consuming all the world's resources, SUVs suck... 254 00:15:33,966 --> 00:15:35,331 ...global warming is real... 255 00:15:35,567 --> 00:15:38,900 I'm relieved to hear you're not one of those "freedom fries" Americans. 256 00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:41,504 Hey, you know... But how'd you get into that? 257 00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:44,938 I came out of political science, hoping to work for the government. 258 00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:47,872 - And I did for a little while. Terrible. - Not good? 259 00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:51,708 Yeah, no. Anyway, I got really tired... Let's go this way. 260 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,215 Having this endless conversation with friends... 261 00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:56,615 ...about how the world was falling to pieces. 262 00:15:56,889 --> 00:15:59,255 So I decided what I really wanted to do was... 263 00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:02,824 ...to find things that could be fixed and try to fix them, you know? 264 00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:06,759 You know, I always thought you'd be doing something cool like that. I did. 265 00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:11,902 Thanks. I just feel really, really lucky to be doing a job I like, you know? 266 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:13,570 Yeah. 267 00:16:13,772 --> 00:16:18,471 I actually alternate in between thinking everything is irrevocably screwed up... 268 00:16:18,677 --> 00:16:20,941 ...and things might be getting better in ways. 269 00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,580 Better? How could you possibly say that? 270 00:16:23,782 --> 00:16:25,545 Well, I just mean, you know, like... 271 00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:29,380 I know it sounds weird, but there are things to be optimistic about. 272 00:16:29,621 --> 00:16:34,285 Okay... I know your book is selling, which is great, I'm very happy for you. 273 00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:37,757 But let me break the news to you: The world is a mess right now. 274 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,465 From a Western view, things are getting a bit better. 275 00:16:40,699 --> 00:16:44,260 We're moving industry to developing nations where we can get cheap labor... 276 00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:47,734 ...free of any environmental laws. The weapon industry is booming. 277 00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:50,875 Five million people die a year from preventable water disease. 278 00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:54,079 How is the world getting better? I'm not angry, I'm not angry. 279 00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:56,372 But come on, I want to know. I'm interested. 280 00:16:56,615 --> 00:17:00,073 I realize that there are a lot of serious problems in the world. 281 00:17:00,319 --> 00:17:02,514 - Okay. Thank you. - I mean, I don't even have... 282 00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:06,121 ...one publisher in the Asian market. - Okay. All right. 283 00:17:06,825 --> 00:17:09,760 - Say stop. - What? Stop. 284 00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:13,830 Look, all I'm saying is there's more awareness. People are gonna fight back. 285 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:17,002 The world might be getting better because people like you... 286 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:18,794 ...are educated and speaking out. 287 00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:22,603 Even the very notion of conservation, environmental issues... 288 00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:25,173 ...weren't in the vocabulary till fairly recently. 289 00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:29,438 And they're becoming the norm and eventually might be what's expected. 290 00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:32,616 I agree with what you're saying, but at the same time it's dangerous. 291 00:17:32,851 --> 00:17:35,445 An imperialist country can use that kind of thinking... 292 00:17:35,654 --> 00:17:37,781 ...to justify their economic greed. 293 00:17:39,258 --> 00:17:43,285 Is there any particular imperialist country you have in mind, there, Frenchie? 294 00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:45,656 - No, not really. - No? 295 00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:54,561 - So you wanna sit over there? - Yeah, this is perfect. 296 00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:57,703 Oh, wow. Maybe what I'm saying is... 297 00:17:57,976 --> 00:18:00,843 ...the world might be evolving the way a person evolves. 298 00:18:01,046 --> 00:18:04,038 Like, I mean, me, for example. Am I getting worse? 299 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:08,413 Am I improving? I don't know. When I was younger, I was healthier... 300 00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:11,088 ...but I was wracked with insecurity, you know? 301 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,816 Now I'm older and my problems are deeper... 302 00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:15,857 ...but I'm more equipped to handle them. 303 00:18:16,628 --> 00:18:18,755 So, what are your problems? 304 00:18:20,365 --> 00:18:24,825 Right now I don't have any. I don't, you know? I'm just... 305 00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,732 ...damn happy to be here. 306 00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:28,730 Me too. 307 00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:34,007 So how long have you been in Paris? 308 00:18:34,246 --> 00:18:37,613 I got in last night. I've done 10 cities in 12 days. 309 00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:40,181 I'm wrecked. I'm so glad it's over, you know? 310 00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:41,852 I'm tired of being a huckster. 311 00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:43,921 - Hi. - Hello. 312 00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:45,623 What do you want? 313 00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:47,791 A cup of coffee. 314 00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:55,294 God, I love this caf�. I wish they had places like this in the U.S. 315 00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:58,235 Yeah, I missed caf�s when I was living over there. 316 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,303 I mean, I find a few places I really liked, but there was... 317 00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:05,532 - You were living in the U.S.? - Yes, from '96 to '99. 318 00:19:05,777 --> 00:19:07,301 I was studying at NYU. 319 00:19:07,746 --> 00:19:10,306 Oh, God, don't tell me that, Celine. 320 00:19:10,582 --> 00:19:12,573 - What? - No, it's just... 321 00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,479 - Nothing, I mean, I... - What? 322 00:19:14,686 --> 00:19:18,053 I've been living in New York since '98. We were there at the same time. 323 00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:19,781 - In New York? - Yeah. 324 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:24,656 That's weird. It actually crossed my mind a few times that I might run into you... 325 00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:27,161 ...but the odds are so slim, right? So... 326 00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:29,664 I didn't even know what city you were in. 327 00:19:29,868 --> 00:19:33,326 - Weren't you somewhere in Texas? - Yeah, yeah, definitely. I just... 328 00:19:33,605 --> 00:19:37,063 I was for a long time. I just, you know, wanted to try New York. 329 00:19:39,144 --> 00:19:40,771 What brought you back here? 330 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,981 I had finished my master's, for one... 331 00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:45,410 ...and no visa, no more visa. 332 00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:49,985 And I was starting to get paranoid. All the violence in the medias: 333 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:53,420 Gang violence, murders, especially serial killers... 334 00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:56,685 But the final straw was... 335 00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:59,795 ...one night I heard some noise on my fire escape... 336 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,557 ...so I called 911, and the cops came eventually. 337 00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:06,259 - Like three hours later. - Yeah, after I had been raped and killed. 338 00:20:06,905 --> 00:20:09,373 No, but it was a man and a woman officer. 339 00:20:09,641 --> 00:20:11,609 I was explaining what I had heard... 340 00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:14,107 ...when the woman had to go move the police car. 341 00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:15,974 I was left alone with the male cop. 342 00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:20,618 Right away he asked me if I had a gun, and I said, "No, of course not." 343 00:20:20,852 --> 00:20:23,685 And he told me, "Well, you better think about getting one. 344 00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:27,221 This is America, not France. Okay?" 345 00:20:27,426 --> 00:20:30,520 And I said to him, "I have no idea how to shoot a gun... 346 00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:33,230 ...and I have no interest in firearms whatsoever." 347 00:20:33,498 --> 00:20:37,229 And that's when he pulled out his gun, like this, and he went: 348 00:20:37,502 --> 00:20:42,906 "Well, one day, you're gonna have something like this in your face... 349 00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,506 ...and if you wanna have a long life... 350 00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:49,875 ...you're gonna have to choose between you or them." 351 00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:55,350 And then they left. And the next morning I called for an application to get a gun. 352 00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:58,055 Me with a gun. I mean, that's really scary. 353 00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:00,383 But then I realized something was wrong. 354 00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:04,151 The way that cop had pulled his gun out, and everything, right? 355 00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:06,193 So I canceled my demand for the gun... 356 00:21:06,398 --> 00:21:09,492 ...and I called the police and tried to complain about that cop. 357 00:21:09,701 --> 00:21:12,226 - What happened with that? - It was so much paperwork... 358 00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:15,235 ...and then I got scared, with my shitty student visa... 359 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,840 - Thought you'd get deported? - Exactly. I gave up... 360 00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:19,772 ...and forgot about the whole thing. 361 00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:23,572 - Well, I guess I never forgot. - Obviously. 362 00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:26,340 But still, you know, I really enjoyed being there. 363 00:21:26,585 --> 00:21:29,679 - There's lots of things I miss in the U.S. - Yeah? Like what? 364 00:21:31,690 --> 00:21:33,214 Well... 365 00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:35,926 The overall good mood people have there. 366 00:21:36,194 --> 00:21:38,219 Like, even if it can be bullshit sometimes. 367 00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:41,194 Like, "How you doing?" "Great." "How you doing?" "Great!" 368 00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:43,726 "Have a great day!" 369 00:21:44,202 --> 00:21:47,763 I don't know. Parisians can be so grumpy. Have you noticed? 370 00:21:48,006 --> 00:21:50,600 No, everybody seems pretty happy to me. 371 00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:54,244 - They're not happy. No. - They're not happy? 372 00:21:54,446 --> 00:21:57,779 No, they are. I don't know. I just mean French men. They drive me nuts. 373 00:21:58,016 --> 00:21:59,381 What is it? What about them? 374 00:21:59,751 --> 00:22:02,720 Well, they're very nice. They're great, you know, to be around. 375 00:22:02,954 --> 00:22:04,922 They love food, wine, they're great cooks. 376 00:22:05,123 --> 00:22:07,091 But I've had really bad luck with them. 377 00:22:07,292 --> 00:22:08,884 Why? What do you mean? 378 00:22:09,761 --> 00:22:12,730 - Well, I guess they're not as... - What? 379 00:22:12,964 --> 00:22:14,488 What's the word? 380 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:18,831 - Horny? They're not as horny. - Horny? 381 00:22:19,104 --> 00:22:23,336 Wait, listen to me on this one. In that regard, I am proud to be an American. 382 00:22:23,542 --> 00:22:25,442 And you should be. In that regard only. 383 00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:28,613 Have you ever spent time in Eastern Europe? 384 00:22:29,114 --> 00:22:31,582 Eastern... No, I don't. Thank you. 385 00:22:32,651 --> 00:22:35,176 I remember as a teenager I went to Warsaw... 386 00:22:35,387 --> 00:22:37,912 ...when it was still a strict communist regime. 387 00:22:38,156 --> 00:22:40,488 - Which I don't approve of at all. - Sure you don't. 388 00:22:40,759 --> 00:22:42,693 - No, I don't. - I'm just kidding. 389 00:22:42,894 --> 00:22:45,795 But anyway, something about being there was very interesting. 390 00:22:45,997 --> 00:22:49,194 After a couple of weeks, something changed in me. 391 00:22:49,401 --> 00:22:52,529 The city was quite gloomy and gray... 392 00:22:52,771 --> 00:22:55,467 ...but after a while, my brain seemed clearer. 393 00:22:55,674 --> 00:22:57,301 I was writing more in my journal... 394 00:22:57,542 --> 00:23:00,670 ...ideas I'd never thought of before... - Communist ideas? 395 00:23:00,912 --> 00:23:03,039 - Listen, I'm not... - I'm sorry, I... 396 00:23:03,315 --> 00:23:05,010 - Okay. - Go on. 397 00:23:05,283 --> 00:23:07,808 Okay. I'll send you to a gulag later. 398 00:23:08,019 --> 00:23:11,455 No. But it took me a while to figure out why I felt so different. 399 00:23:11,656 --> 00:23:14,284 One day, as I was walking through the Jewish cemetery... 400 00:23:14,493 --> 00:23:16,358 ...I don't know why, but it occurred to me there... 401 00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:20,395 ...I realized that I had spent the last two weeks away from most of my habits. 402 00:23:20,599 --> 00:23:22,567 TV was in a language I didn't understand... 403 00:23:22,801 --> 00:23:25,497 ...there was nothing to buy, no advertisements anywhere... 404 00:23:25,704 --> 00:23:27,296 ...so all I'd been doing was... 405 00:23:27,506 --> 00:23:32,205 ...walk around, think, and write. My brain felt like it was at rest... 406 00:23:32,444 --> 00:23:36,005 ...free from the consuming frenzy. It was almost like a natural high. 407 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:40,776 I felt so peaceful inside. No strange urge to be somewhere else... 408 00:23:41,019 --> 00:23:42,316 ...to shop... 409 00:23:42,554 --> 00:23:44,647 It could have seemed like boredom at first... 410 00:23:44,856 --> 00:23:46,585 ...but it became very, very soulful. 411 00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:49,150 It was interesting, you know? 412 00:23:49,361 --> 00:23:52,660 Can you believe it was nine years ago we were walking around Vienna? 413 00:23:53,198 --> 00:23:56,861 - Nine years? No, that's impossible. - No, it was. It feels like two months. 414 00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:59,002 But it was summer '94. 415 00:24:01,239 --> 00:24:03,503 Do I look any different? 416 00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:06,805 I do? 417 00:24:07,612 --> 00:24:08,840 I'd have to see you naked. 418 00:24:09,247 --> 00:24:11,181 - What? - I know, I'm sorry. 419 00:24:11,416 --> 00:24:13,748 Your hair was different back then. It was like... 420 00:24:13,952 --> 00:24:16,352 - It's the same... Oh, down. - Yeah, take it down. 421 00:24:16,555 --> 00:24:18,250 Down. Okay, it was down. Okay. 422 00:24:18,490 --> 00:24:20,617 Well? Voil�. 423 00:24:20,926 --> 00:24:22,393 So? 424 00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,590 Okay, come on. Tell me. 425 00:24:29,935 --> 00:24:32,460 Skinnier, I think. A little thinner. 426 00:24:33,572 --> 00:24:35,062 Did you think I was fat before? 427 00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:38,208 - No... - Yeah, you thought I was a fatty. 428 00:24:38,443 --> 00:24:42,436 No, you thought I was a fatty. You wrote a book about a fat French girl. 429 00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:44,547 - No, listen. - Oh, no. 430 00:24:44,783 --> 00:24:46,876 Seriously, all right? You look beautiful. 431 00:24:47,118 --> 00:24:49,086 Do I look any different? 432 00:24:49,454 --> 00:24:52,946 No. Not at all. Actually, you have this line. 433 00:24:53,191 --> 00:24:55,591 - I know. - It's like a scar. 434 00:24:55,827 --> 00:25:00,230 - A scar? Like a gunshot wound? - No, no, no. I like it. I'm sorry. 435 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:06,367 I had this funny... Well, horrible dream the other day. 436 00:25:07,439 --> 00:25:11,432 I was having this awful nightmare that I was 32. 437 00:25:11,643 --> 00:25:14,806 And then I woke up, and I was 23. So relieved. 438 00:25:15,046 --> 00:25:17,606 And then I woke up for real, and I was 32. 439 00:25:17,849 --> 00:25:20,283 - Shit, man. It happens. - Scary. 440 00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:23,147 Time goes faster and faster. Apparently, it's because... 441 00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:26,791 ...we don't renew synapses after our 20s, so it's downhill from then on. 442 00:25:27,993 --> 00:25:30,962 I like getting older, you know? Life feels... 443 00:25:31,296 --> 00:25:34,788 I don't know, it feels more immediate. Like I can appreciate things more. 444 00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:38,260 No, me too, actually. I really love it. 445 00:25:38,737 --> 00:25:40,500 I was once... 446 00:25:40,739 --> 00:25:42,104 ...a drummer in a band. 447 00:25:42,340 --> 00:25:44,900 - You were? - Yeah. We were pretty good, actually. 448 00:25:45,143 --> 00:25:49,307 But the lead-singer guy, he was just so obsessed with us getting a record deal. 449 00:25:49,514 --> 00:25:52,449 It's all we talked about, thought about, getting bigger shows. 450 00:25:52,684 --> 00:25:56,142 Everything was just focused on the future all the time. And now... 451 00:25:56,354 --> 00:25:58,185 ...the band doesn't even exist anymore. 452 00:25:58,390 --> 00:26:00,722 And looking back at the shows we did play... 453 00:26:00,959 --> 00:26:03,826 ...even rehearsing, it was just so much fun. 454 00:26:04,029 --> 00:26:08,193 I just... Now I'd enjoy every minute of it. Could I have a drag of that? 455 00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:11,492 Well, your book has been published. That's a pretty big deal. 456 00:26:11,736 --> 00:26:14,967 You've been all around Europe. Are you enjoying every minute of it? 457 00:26:15,707 --> 00:26:17,538 - Not really. - Not really? 458 00:26:17,776 --> 00:26:19,141 No. 459 00:26:19,711 --> 00:26:22,339 - Do you have another one of those? - Yes, of course. 460 00:26:24,482 --> 00:26:25,972 Here. 461 00:26:26,885 --> 00:26:29,979 In my field, I see these people that... Oh, sorry. 462 00:26:30,221 --> 00:26:32,712 Come into it with big, idealist visions... 463 00:26:32,924 --> 00:26:35,654 ...of becoming the leader that will create a better world. 464 00:26:35,860 --> 00:26:38,021 They enjoy the goal, but not the process. 465 00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:40,094 - Right. - But the reality of it is... 466 00:26:40,298 --> 00:26:43,699 ...the true work of improving things is in the little achievements. 467 00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:46,870 - That's what you need to enjoy. - What do you mean, exactly? 468 00:26:47,105 --> 00:26:50,666 I was working for this organization that helped villages in Mexico. 469 00:26:51,376 --> 00:26:53,844 And their concerns was how to get the pencils... 470 00:26:54,045 --> 00:26:56,411 ...sent to the kid in those little country schools. 471 00:26:56,615 --> 00:27:00,415 It was not about big, revolutionary ideas. It was about pencils. 472 00:27:00,819 --> 00:27:04,255 I see the people that do the real work, and what's really sad is that... 473 00:27:04,656 --> 00:27:07,181 ...the people that are the most giving, hardworking... 474 00:27:07,392 --> 00:27:09,553 ...and capable of making this world better... 475 00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:12,888 ...usually don't have the ego and ambition to be a leader. 476 00:27:13,131 --> 00:27:15,725 They don't see any interest in superficial rewards. 477 00:27:15,967 --> 00:27:18,993 They don't care if their name ever appear in the press. 478 00:27:19,237 --> 00:27:22,001 They actually enjoy the process of helping others. 479 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,902 - They're in the moment. - Yeah, but that's so hard... 480 00:27:25,110 --> 00:27:27,977 ...you know, to be in the moment. I mean, I feel like I'm... 481 00:27:28,179 --> 00:27:32,138 ...designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything, you know? 482 00:27:32,350 --> 00:27:34,818 It's like always trying to better my situation. 483 00:27:35,086 --> 00:27:38,487 I satisfy one desire, and it just agitates another. 484 00:27:38,690 --> 00:27:42,217 And then I think, to hell with it, right? Desire's the fuel of life. 485 00:27:42,427 --> 00:27:45,225 You know? Do you think it's true... 486 00:27:45,463 --> 00:27:48,330 ...that if we never wanted anything, we'd never be unhappy? 487 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:53,594 I don't know. Not wanting anything, isn't that a symptom of depression? 488 00:27:53,805 --> 00:27:57,400 Yeah, that is, right? I mean, it's healthy to desire, right? 489 00:27:57,642 --> 00:28:01,237 Yeah. I don't know. It's what all those Buddhist guys say, right? 490 00:28:01,479 --> 00:28:03,811 Liberate yourself from desire, and you'll find... 491 00:28:04,015 --> 00:28:07,178 ...you already have everything you need. - But I feel alive... 492 00:28:07,452 --> 00:28:10,182 ...when I want something more than basic survival needs. 493 00:28:10,388 --> 00:28:13,186 Wanting, whether it's intimacy with another person... 494 00:28:13,458 --> 00:28:15,153 ...or a pair of shoes, is beautiful. 495 00:28:15,393 --> 00:28:18,920 I like that we have those ever-renewing desires, you know? 496 00:28:19,164 --> 00:28:20,825 Maybe it's this sense of entitlement. 497 00:28:21,099 --> 00:28:24,796 You know, like whenever you feel like you deserve that new pair of shoes? 498 00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:28,870 It's okay to want things, as long as you aren't pissed off if you don't get them. 499 00:28:29,107 --> 00:28:30,938 Life's hard. It's supposed to be. 500 00:28:31,176 --> 00:28:34,145 If we didn't suffer, we wouldn't learn a thing, you know? 501 00:28:35,547 --> 00:28:37,447 So, what, are you Buddhist, or something? 502 00:28:38,516 --> 00:28:41,144 - No. - No? Why not? 503 00:28:41,619 --> 00:28:46,318 I don't know. The same reason I don't really consider myself anything, really. 504 00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:50,126 I decided a long time ago that I was gonna be open to everything... 505 00:28:50,361 --> 00:28:52,829 ...but not buy into any one and only belief system. 506 00:28:54,499 --> 00:28:57,593 I went to this Trappist monastery a couple years ago. 507 00:28:58,203 --> 00:29:02,037 - Trappist? - Yeah, they're Catholic. Cistercian. 508 00:29:02,340 --> 00:29:05,901 - Why did you do that? - Why? I'd been doing some reading. 509 00:29:06,177 --> 00:29:09,977 Thought it'd be cool. Have you ever spent any time with monks or nuns? 510 00:29:10,348 --> 00:29:13,647 - No. It's not really my style. - No? 511 00:29:14,452 --> 00:29:18,479 Well, I expected them to be all glowering and stern, but they weren't. 512 00:29:18,723 --> 00:29:21,248 They were quick to laugh, really easy to be around. 513 00:29:21,526 --> 00:29:24,495 Seriously, very attuned to everything, they were just... 514 00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:27,163 You know, they weren't trying to hustle anybody. 515 00:29:27,398 --> 00:29:29,866 They're trying to live and die in peace with God... 516 00:29:30,101 --> 00:29:32,569 ...or whatever part of them they feel is eternal. 517 00:29:32,804 --> 00:29:34,738 It was just so refreshing to be around. 518 00:29:34,939 --> 00:29:37,407 You realize that most of the people that you meet... 519 00:29:37,609 --> 00:29:39,372 ...are trying to get somewhere better. 520 00:29:39,577 --> 00:29:42,740 They're trying to make more cash, get a little more respect... 521 00:29:42,981 --> 00:29:45,381 ...have more people admire them. It's exhausting. 522 00:29:45,617 --> 00:29:48,711 - No kidding. - And it's exhausting to be one yourself. 523 00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:52,286 There I am, right, you know, all greedy to be more spiritual. 524 00:29:52,490 --> 00:29:56,051 "I want to be a better person," you know? You can't escape. 525 00:29:56,261 --> 00:30:02,393 I had this boyfriend of mine many years ago that wanted to be a Buddhist. 526 00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:05,292 So he went to Asia to visit some of those monasteries. 527 00:30:05,570 --> 00:30:09,233 - I've thought about doing that too. - Yeah, you should. I'll tell you why. 528 00:30:09,474 --> 00:30:12,807 He was good-looking, and each time he went to one of the monasteries... 529 00:30:13,011 --> 00:30:15,605 ...a monk offered to suck his cock. 530 00:30:15,847 --> 00:30:17,542 True story. 531 00:30:18,016 --> 00:30:20,917 It all comes down to that, doesn't it? 532 00:30:21,152 --> 00:30:23,279 That's why I really admire what you're doing. 533 00:30:23,521 --> 00:30:25,614 - You know? - What do you mean? Sucking cock? 534 00:30:25,857 --> 00:30:28,985 - No. - No? Wrong answer. 535 00:30:29,227 --> 00:30:32,958 No, I was gonna say you're not detached from life. 536 00:30:33,231 --> 00:30:35,597 You're putting your passion into action. 537 00:30:35,834 --> 00:30:38,462 Well, I try. 538 00:30:39,137 --> 00:30:42,470 You know something? I'm gonna be on planes... 539 00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:44,972 ...and in an airport for the next eight hours... 540 00:30:45,243 --> 00:30:47,575 I'd just love to see a little bit more of Paris. 541 00:30:47,879 --> 00:30:49,312 - Would you walk with me? - Yeah. 542 00:30:49,514 --> 00:30:50,811 - Do you mind? - That's great. 543 00:30:51,049 --> 00:30:52,949 - Do you want to? - Let's do that. Yeah. 544 00:30:53,184 --> 00:30:54,981 What do we owe here? Four-fifty? 545 00:30:55,253 --> 00:30:57,744 No, I got it, I got a little per diem going on here. 546 00:30:57,956 --> 00:31:00,151 - This good, for a tip? - Yeah, that's fine. 547 00:31:00,391 --> 00:31:02,723 - That's more than enough. - Throw that in too. 548 00:31:02,994 --> 00:31:06,452 - Is there anywhere to go around here? - It's sales day today. 549 00:31:06,698 --> 00:31:09,599 - What's that? - It's when everything's on sale in Paris. 550 00:31:10,134 --> 00:31:11,499 It's twice a year. 551 00:31:14,038 --> 00:31:15,665 All right, let's go shopping. 552 00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:18,968 No, no, no. That's a bad idea. I don't wanna inflict that on you. 553 00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:23,112 It's madness. Let's just go to this garden path. It's really nice. 554 00:31:23,448 --> 00:31:25,848 All right. That sounds better than shopping, actually. 555 00:31:26,050 --> 00:31:28,143 Not that I wouldn't do whatever you wanted. 556 00:31:28,353 --> 00:31:31,322 Sometimes I don't even need to buy anything. I just get high... 557 00:31:31,522 --> 00:31:33,285 ...on trying on and looking at things. 558 00:31:33,491 --> 00:31:35,220 Is this where we're going? 559 00:31:35,426 --> 00:31:37,656 - Yeah. - A therapist will tell you that's good. 560 00:31:37,862 --> 00:31:40,194 - Really? Are you ever in therapy? - Oh, no. 561 00:31:40,431 --> 00:31:43,457 - Do I seem like I'm in therapy? - I'm kidding. 562 00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:47,702 - Does it help your sex problems? - My sex problems? 563 00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:49,396 - I'm kidding. - Tell me the truth. 564 00:31:49,674 --> 00:31:51,869 - We didn't have any problems. - No, I'm kidding. 565 00:31:52,110 --> 00:31:54,544 - We didn't even have sex. - That's a joke, right? 566 00:31:54,812 --> 00:31:57,406 No, we didn't. I mean, that was the whole thing. 567 00:31:57,615 --> 00:31:59,640 - Of course we did. - No, no, no, we didn't. 568 00:31:59,884 --> 00:32:02,648 You didn't have a condom and I never have sex without one. 569 00:32:02,887 --> 00:32:04,718 I'm extremely paranoid. There's no way... 570 00:32:04,956 --> 00:32:07,481 I find it scary that you don't remember what happened. 571 00:32:07,692 --> 00:32:09,023 No, listen... 572 00:32:09,227 --> 00:32:11,889 ...I didn't write an entire book, but I kept a journal... 573 00:32:12,130 --> 00:32:16,066 ...and I wrote the whole night in it. That's what I meant, you idealizing it. 574 00:32:16,267 --> 00:32:19,498 All right, listen, I even remember what brand of condom we used. 575 00:32:19,704 --> 00:32:21,569 That's disgusting. I don't wanna hear it. 576 00:32:21,773 --> 00:32:24,298 - That's not disgusting. - No. 577 00:32:24,575 --> 00:32:29,035 Okay, when I get home I'll check my journal from '94, but I know I'm right. 578 00:32:31,950 --> 00:32:33,850 - Wait a minute. - What? 579 00:32:34,052 --> 00:32:36,748 - Was it in the cemetery? - No. 580 00:32:36,988 --> 00:32:39,354 No, we went to the cemetery in the afternoon. 581 00:32:39,557 --> 00:32:42,424 It was in the park, very late at night. 582 00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:44,953 - In the park? - Wait a minute, wait a minute. 583 00:32:45,163 --> 00:32:46,960 I can't... I can't... 584 00:32:47,932 --> 00:32:51,197 Is it that forgettable? You really don't remember? In the park? 585 00:32:51,436 --> 00:32:54,234 Okay. Wait a minute, I think you might be right... 586 00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:55,769 You're messing with me now. 587 00:32:56,007 --> 00:32:57,372 - No. - Are you messing with me? 588 00:32:57,608 --> 00:33:00,736 Okay. No, I'm sorry. I think... I mean, you're right, okay? 589 00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:04,415 Sometimes I put things in drawers inside my head and forget about it. 590 00:33:04,649 --> 00:33:07,277 It's less painful to put things away than live with it. 591 00:33:07,518 --> 00:33:10,214 What, so that night was, like, a sad memory for you? 592 00:33:10,455 --> 00:33:12,252 I didn't mean that night in particular. 593 00:33:12,457 --> 00:33:14,482 I meant certain things are better forgotten. 594 00:33:14,759 --> 00:33:17,227 I remember that night better than I do entire years. 595 00:33:17,462 --> 00:33:19,225 - Me too. - Really? 596 00:33:19,430 --> 00:33:21,557 Well, I thought I did. 597 00:33:24,202 --> 00:33:27,831 But maybe I... Maybe I put it away because of the fact that... 598 00:33:28,039 --> 00:33:31,133 ...my grandmother's funeral was the day we were supposed to meet. 599 00:33:31,409 --> 00:33:34,310 It was a tough day for me, but it must've been worse for you. 600 00:33:34,545 --> 00:33:39,107 It was unreal. I remember looking at her dead body in the coffin... 601 00:33:39,317 --> 00:33:43,651 ...at her beautiful hands, so warm, so sweet, that used to hold me... 602 00:33:44,188 --> 00:33:47,453 ...but nothing in that coffin resembled what I remembered of her. 603 00:33:47,658 --> 00:33:49,182 All the warmth was gone. 604 00:33:49,494 --> 00:33:52,258 And then I was crying, so confused if I was crying... 605 00:33:52,463 --> 00:33:57,992 ...because I was never gonna see her again or never gonna see you again... 606 00:33:58,236 --> 00:34:02,036 I'm sorry. I'm sorry to go on like this. I've been a little down this week. 607 00:34:02,306 --> 00:34:05,275 - Why? - I don't know. Nothing bad, just... 608 00:34:05,510 --> 00:34:07,444 Reading your book, maybe? 609 00:34:07,645 --> 00:34:11,479 No, but... Thinking of how hopeful I was that summer and fall... 610 00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:13,911 ...and since then it's been kind of a... 611 00:34:14,519 --> 00:34:15,884 I don't know. 612 00:34:16,087 --> 00:34:20,217 Memory is a wonderful thing if you don't have to deal with the past. 613 00:34:22,994 --> 00:34:25,792 "Memory is wonderful if you don't have to deal with the past." 614 00:34:25,997 --> 00:34:27,624 Can I put that on a bumper sticker? 615 00:34:27,832 --> 00:34:30,494 If you wrote a book about our night, that's a good title. 616 00:34:30,701 --> 00:34:34,535 - And it could be a total different book. - Yeah, there'd be no sex scenes. 617 00:34:35,173 --> 00:34:36,470 - But you know what? - What? 618 00:34:36,707 --> 00:34:38,038 Now that we've met again... 619 00:34:38,276 --> 00:34:40,870 ...we can change our memory of that December 16. 620 00:34:41,079 --> 00:34:44,480 It no longer has that sad ending of us never seeing each other again. 621 00:34:44,715 --> 00:34:49,152 Right. I mean, I guess a memory's never finished as long as you're alive. 622 00:34:49,387 --> 00:34:52,948 Yeah, I know. I have this memory from my childhood... 623 00:34:53,191 --> 00:34:55,716 ...I realized recently never happened. - What? 624 00:34:55,927 --> 00:34:58,862 Well, when I was 8 or 9, my mom was so paranoid... 625 00:34:59,063 --> 00:35:01,896 ...when I was walking home from my piano lesson at night... 626 00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:04,762 ...she'd warn me about dirty old men giving me candies... 627 00:35:05,002 --> 00:35:06,765 ...and then showing me their pee-pees. 628 00:35:07,004 --> 00:35:10,030 She was so obsessed with it that, later in life, you know... 629 00:35:10,241 --> 00:35:13,608 ...I had this image in my head that this really happened. 630 00:35:13,811 --> 00:35:17,338 To the point that I even associated sex with that walk home. 631 00:35:17,548 --> 00:35:21,211 I mean, and sometimes, even now, when I'm... 632 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:26,056 When I'm having sex, I see myself walking down that street. 633 00:35:26,257 --> 00:35:28,122 I swear. It's so weird, right? 634 00:35:28,326 --> 00:35:32,524 - Is that street nearby? I mean, could...? - Could we? No. 635 00:35:32,730 --> 00:35:34,891 Very far. 636 00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:38,591 Did you ever keep a journal when you were a kid? 637 00:35:38,803 --> 00:35:42,102 Yeah. On and off, I guess. 638 00:35:42,306 --> 00:35:44,433 It's funny, I read one of mine... 639 00:35:44,642 --> 00:35:46,507 ...from '83 the other day. - Yeah? 640 00:35:46,844 --> 00:35:48,471 And what really surprised me is... 641 00:35:48,679 --> 00:35:51,580 ...that I was dealing with life the same way I am now. 642 00:35:51,816 --> 00:35:53,784 I was much more hopeful and naive... 643 00:35:53,985 --> 00:35:58,251 ...but the core, and the way I was feeling things, is exactly the same. 644 00:35:58,456 --> 00:36:00,754 It made me realize I haven't changed much at all. 645 00:36:00,958 --> 00:36:02,425 I don't think anybody does. 646 00:36:02,627 --> 00:36:06,393 People don't want to admit it, but it's like we have these innate set points... 647 00:36:06,597 --> 00:36:10,158 ...and nothing much that happens to us changes our disposition. 648 00:36:10,368 --> 00:36:11,801 - You believe that? - I think so. 649 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:15,302 I read this study where they followed people who'd won the lottery... 650 00:36:15,506 --> 00:36:17,337 ...and people who'd become paraplegics. 651 00:36:17,575 --> 00:36:21,671 You'd think one extreme is gonna make you euphoric and the other suicidal. 652 00:36:21,879 --> 00:36:24,575 But the study shows that, after about six months... 653 00:36:24,782 --> 00:36:28,013 ...as soon as people had gotten used to their new situation... 654 00:36:28,219 --> 00:36:30,517 ...they were, more or less, the same. - The same? 655 00:36:30,721 --> 00:36:33,918 Yeah. Like, if they were basically an optimistic, jovial person... 656 00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:36,923 ...they're now an optimistic, jovial person in a wheelchair. 657 00:36:37,161 --> 00:36:39,095 If they're a petty, miserable asshole... 658 00:36:39,297 --> 00:36:43,199 ...they're a petty, miserable asshole with a new Cadillac, a house and a boat. 659 00:36:43,401 --> 00:36:46,700 So I'll be forever depressed no matter what great things happen? 660 00:36:46,904 --> 00:36:48,269 - Definitely. - Great. 661 00:36:48,472 --> 00:36:50,133 No, come on, are you depressed now? 662 00:36:50,341 --> 00:36:52,605 No, no, I'm not depressed. 663 00:36:52,810 --> 00:36:55,438 But sometimes I worry I'll get to the end of my life... 664 00:36:55,646 --> 00:36:59,138 ...feeling I haven't done all I wanted to. - Well, what do you want to do? 665 00:36:59,350 --> 00:37:01,011 I... 666 00:37:01,219 --> 00:37:04,211 I want to paint more, I want to play my guitar every day. 667 00:37:04,422 --> 00:37:07,619 I want to learn Chinese. I want to write more songs. 668 00:37:07,825 --> 00:37:12,125 There's so many things I want to do, and I end up doing not much. 669 00:37:13,064 --> 00:37:18,866 All right, well, let me ask you this: Do you believe in ghosts or spirits? 670 00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:20,401 No. 671 00:37:20,638 --> 00:37:21,900 - No? - No. 672 00:37:22,139 --> 00:37:25,836 - Okay, what about reincarnation? - Not at all. 673 00:37:26,043 --> 00:37:27,977 - God? - No. 674 00:37:28,179 --> 00:37:30,647 - All right. - That sounds terrible. No, no, no. 675 00:37:30,848 --> 00:37:34,716 But I don't want to be one of those people that don't believe in any magic. 676 00:37:34,919 --> 00:37:36,819 - So then, astrology? - Yes, of course! 677 00:37:37,021 --> 00:37:38,818 - There we go. - That makes sense, right? 678 00:37:39,023 --> 00:37:42,390 You're a Scorpio, I'm a Sag, we get along. 679 00:37:43,361 --> 00:37:45,158 No, no, no. 680 00:37:45,363 --> 00:37:48,355 There's an Einstein quote I really, really like. 681 00:37:48,566 --> 00:37:52,024 He said, "If you don't believe in any kind of magic or mystery... 682 00:37:52,236 --> 00:37:55,034 ...you're basically as good as dead." - Yeah, I like that. 683 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:58,538 I've always felt there was some kind of mystical core to the universe. 684 00:37:58,743 --> 00:38:03,908 But, more recently, I've started to think that, me, my personality, whatever... 685 00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:07,175 That I don't have any permanent place here, you know. 686 00:38:07,385 --> 00:38:09,012 In eternity or whatever, you know. 687 00:38:09,220 --> 00:38:13,020 And the more I think that, I can't go through life saying this is no big deal. 688 00:38:13,224 --> 00:38:16,682 This is it. This is actually happening. What do you think is interesting? 689 00:38:16,894 --> 00:38:19,021 What do you think is funny? What is important? 690 00:38:19,263 --> 00:38:21,527 You know, every day's our last. 691 00:38:21,932 --> 00:38:25,390 When I feel that way, I usually call my mom to tell her I love her. 692 00:38:25,603 --> 00:38:27,195 - Yeah? - And she's always: 693 00:38:27,405 --> 00:38:31,466 "Are you okay? Do you have cancer? Are you gonna commit suicide?" 694 00:38:31,709 --> 00:38:34,269 It's almost not worth it. 695 00:38:35,513 --> 00:38:38,277 So, what about us? 696 00:38:38,482 --> 00:38:40,973 - What about us? - No, what I mean is... 697 00:38:41,218 --> 00:38:44,745 ...if we were both going to die tonight... - Like the apocalypse was coming? 698 00:38:44,955 --> 00:38:49,051 No, that's too dramatic... But what if just the two of us were going to die? 699 00:38:49,260 --> 00:38:51,160 I mean, would we talk about your book? 700 00:38:51,362 --> 00:38:54,092 - The environment? Or... - If today was our last day? 701 00:38:54,298 --> 00:38:56,892 Yeah, what would we talk about? What would you tell me? 702 00:38:57,101 --> 00:38:58,591 - Well... - That's hard, huh? 703 00:38:58,803 --> 00:39:00,100 - No, no, I'll do it. - Okay. 704 00:39:00,304 --> 00:39:02,738 I definitely would stop talking about my book. 705 00:39:02,940 --> 00:39:05,568 - I would probably drop the environment. - Okay. 706 00:39:05,776 --> 00:39:09,678 But I would still want to talk about, you know, the magic in the universe. 707 00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:13,077 - I'd just want to do it from a... - What? 708 00:39:13,284 --> 00:39:14,842 ...a hotel room, you know... 709 00:39:15,052 --> 00:39:18,818 ...in between sessions of us wildly fucking until we die. 710 00:39:19,023 --> 00:39:21,821 Wow. Well, why waste time with an hotel room? 711 00:39:22,026 --> 00:39:25,427 Why not do it right there on a bench? 712 00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:28,529 Come here, come here, come here. 713 00:39:28,766 --> 00:39:31,132 Okay. We're not gonna die tonight. 714 00:39:31,335 --> 00:39:33,326 All right. Too bad. I'm sorry. 715 00:39:33,537 --> 00:39:35,027 That was an extreme example. 716 00:39:35,272 --> 00:39:37,672 - I'm sorry. - Okay. 717 00:39:37,875 --> 00:39:39,502 What I... My point was, you know... 718 00:39:39,710 --> 00:39:42,508 ...to truly communicate with people is very hard to do. 719 00:39:42,713 --> 00:39:45,477 No, I know, most of our day-to-day exchanges... 720 00:39:45,683 --> 00:39:47,173 Yeah, no, I mean... 721 00:39:47,385 --> 00:39:49,979 ...not to bring everything back to sex... - But why not? 722 00:39:50,187 --> 00:39:53,281 No, this example, this friend of mine, she was talking about... 723 00:39:53,491 --> 00:39:56,483 - She and her boyfriend... Problems in bed. - Right. 724 00:39:56,727 --> 00:40:00,185 And how when they had been dating for a year she started telling him... 725 00:40:00,398 --> 00:40:03,367 ...what he could do to please her more, and it freaked him out. 726 00:40:03,567 --> 00:40:04,864 - Why? - Totally. 727 00:40:05,102 --> 00:40:07,070 He thought it meant he was a bad lover... 728 00:40:07,304 --> 00:40:09,135 Maybe she shouldn't have waited so long. 729 00:40:09,340 --> 00:40:11,672 - After a year... - But men are so easily offended. 730 00:40:11,876 --> 00:40:14,344 - What, more than women? - Definitely on that subject. 731 00:40:14,545 --> 00:40:15,876 - You think so? - Yeah, yeah. 732 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,739 Well, maybe it's because, you know... 733 00:40:18,949 --> 00:40:22,976 ...men are easier to... To please. - To please? 734 00:40:23,220 --> 00:40:26,189 - Well, I don't know. - Yeah, they are. They're definitely. 735 00:40:26,424 --> 00:40:28,517 Anyway, this friend, she was telling me... 736 00:40:28,726 --> 00:40:32,355 ...next time she dates a man, she's gonna make a little questionnaire... 737 00:40:32,563 --> 00:40:35,999 ...about what they like and dislike... - What, written down, or out loud? 738 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:37,895 Yeah, mostly written down. 739 00:40:38,102 --> 00:40:41,731 But it wouldn't be just yes or no. It would be a bit more complex than that. 740 00:40:41,939 --> 00:40:45,397 Like, for example, if the question is: "Are you into S & M?" 741 00:40:45,609 --> 00:40:50,410 The answer could be: "No, but a good spanking once in a while doesn't hurt." 742 00:40:50,614 --> 00:40:54,277 Right, or like: "Do you like talking dirty in bed?" 743 00:40:54,485 --> 00:40:57,921 - That kind of thing? - Yeah, but not just like any dirty talk. 744 00:40:58,122 --> 00:41:00,454 Just "What specific word would you like to hear?" 745 00:41:00,658 --> 00:41:01,955 - What, me? - Well, yeah. 746 00:41:02,159 --> 00:41:04,787 For example what specific word would you like to hear? 747 00:41:04,995 --> 00:41:06,587 I don't know. 748 00:41:08,132 --> 00:41:10,623 What do you feel about the word "pussy"? 749 00:41:10,868 --> 00:41:13,598 I love it. 750 00:41:14,004 --> 00:41:15,631 Good. 751 00:41:15,873 --> 00:41:18,808 It's amazing what perverts we've become in the past nine years. 752 00:41:19,009 --> 00:41:22,274 At least now we don't have to pretend each new sexual experience... 753 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,141 ...is, like, a life-altering event. 754 00:41:24,381 --> 00:41:27,817 I know. By now, you've stuck it in so many places it's about to fall off. 755 00:41:28,018 --> 00:41:31,715 And I can't realistically expect you've become anything but a total ho. 756 00:41:31,922 --> 00:41:35,289 - Yeah, thank you. - No, I'm s... 757 00:41:35,926 --> 00:41:38,895 - That's true. What can you do? - What can you do? 758 00:41:39,096 --> 00:41:42,827 So, what kind of songs do you write? I didn't know you did that. 759 00:41:43,033 --> 00:41:44,227 - What kind? - Yeah, sure. 760 00:41:44,435 --> 00:41:46,062 - I don't know, just songs. - Like? 761 00:41:46,270 --> 00:41:48,898 Like, some are about, you know, people. 762 00:41:49,106 --> 00:41:50,733 Relationships. One's about my cat. 763 00:41:50,941 --> 00:41:53,409 - Sing one. - No, I can't. I don't have a guitar. 764 00:41:53,611 --> 00:41:55,135 - Come on. A cappella. - No, no, no. 765 00:41:55,346 --> 00:41:58,474 I'm not singing a song without a guitar. You're nuts. 766 00:41:59,016 --> 00:42:00,916 Why not? 767 00:42:01,118 --> 00:42:03,518 - No, okay. Not now. No. - One. 768 00:42:03,721 --> 00:42:06,952 If not now, when? You want to meet here in six months with a guitar? 769 00:42:07,157 --> 00:42:08,624 I'll fly all the way over here. 770 00:42:08,826 --> 00:42:11,795 - You may or may not make the M�tro. - Okay, that's funny. 771 00:42:12,196 --> 00:42:14,255 - We've got to get back. - We'll be all right. 772 00:42:14,465 --> 00:42:16,433 - You're gonna miss your flight. - All right. 773 00:42:16,634 --> 00:42:18,431 We can walk down La Seine. It's nice. 774 00:42:18,636 --> 00:42:20,160 Okay. 775 00:42:20,804 --> 00:42:24,467 - So you're flying back to New York? - Yeah, yeah. 776 00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:30,313 So I read in that article that you're married with a kid. That's great. 777 00:42:30,514 --> 00:42:32,982 Yeah, he's... He's 4. 778 00:42:33,183 --> 00:42:35,344 - What's his name? - Henry. Little Hank. 779 00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:38,317 - He's so much fun. - Oh, wow, I'm sure. 780 00:42:38,522 --> 00:42:41,457 - Your wife, what does she do? - She teaches elementary school. 781 00:42:42,026 --> 00:42:44,551 - Do you have kids? - Yes, two... Shit! 782 00:42:44,762 --> 00:42:46,195 - What? - I left them in the car! 783 00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:49,025 With the windows up, six months ago! Think they're okay? 784 00:42:49,233 --> 00:42:51,827 No, I'm kidding. No, but I want to have kids someday. 785 00:42:52,036 --> 00:42:53,867 - I'm just not ready yet. - No? 786 00:42:54,071 --> 00:42:57,199 - I'm in a good relationship, though. - Oh yeah? That's good. 787 00:42:57,408 --> 00:42:59,467 - What's he do? - He's a photojournalist. 788 00:42:59,677 --> 00:43:01,474 He does war coverage. 789 00:43:01,679 --> 00:43:04,204 He's away a lot, which is good because I'm so busy. 790 00:43:04,415 --> 00:43:08,476 But isn't that dangerous? Aren't a lot of those guys getting killed these days? 791 00:43:08,686 --> 00:43:11,883 He promises me he doesn't take risks, but I often worry. 792 00:43:12,089 --> 00:43:14,580 He goes in this trance when he photographs something. 793 00:43:14,792 --> 00:43:18,091 - What do you mean? - Well, once we were in New Delhi... 794 00:43:18,295 --> 00:43:19,762 ...and we passed a bum on the... 795 00:43:19,997 --> 00:43:22,192 - A bomb? - A bum. A homeless. 796 00:43:22,399 --> 00:43:23,696 All right, right. 797 00:43:23,901 --> 00:43:27,701 He looked like he needed help, but his first reaction was to photograph him. 798 00:43:27,905 --> 00:43:30,703 He went really close to his face, fixing his collar... 799 00:43:30,908 --> 00:43:32,603 ...totally detached from the person. 800 00:43:32,810 --> 00:43:35,540 But don't you have to be like that to be good at that job? 801 00:43:35,746 --> 00:43:37,043 Yeah, I mean, I'm not... 802 00:43:37,247 --> 00:43:40,341 I'm not judging him. What he does is essential and incredible. 803 00:43:40,551 --> 00:43:42,610 All I'm saying is that I could never do it. 804 00:43:42,820 --> 00:43:44,549 Let's get on that boat. Come on. 805 00:43:44,755 --> 00:43:46,052 - No! - Come on, it'll be fun. 806 00:43:46,256 --> 00:43:48,554 - You don't have time! - They're about to take off. 807 00:43:48,759 --> 00:43:51,125 I've got 15 more minutes. Do you have a cell phone? 808 00:43:51,328 --> 00:43:53,626 - Yeah. - All right, I've got that driver's number. 809 00:43:53,831 --> 00:43:55,958 I can call him to pick us up at the next stop. 810 00:43:56,166 --> 00:44:00,034 I've never been on those boats. It's for tourists, it's embarrassing. 811 00:44:00,237 --> 00:44:01,534 Okay. All right. 812 00:44:04,975 --> 00:44:06,567 No, I'll get it, I'll get it. 813 00:44:07,411 --> 00:44:09,936 All right. All right, all right. 814 00:44:13,484 --> 00:44:14,781 Thank you. 815 00:44:14,985 --> 00:44:17,112 - So are you in love with that guy? - What guy? 816 00:44:17,321 --> 00:44:20,620 - The war photographer. - Yes, of course. 817 00:44:24,461 --> 00:44:26,622 So do you have that cell phone? 818 00:44:26,830 --> 00:44:28,559 Oh, yeah. 819 00:44:28,766 --> 00:44:30,563 - Okay, let's see... - Okay. 820 00:44:30,768 --> 00:44:32,065 What do I tell him? 821 00:44:32,269 --> 00:44:34,430 Tell him to pick you up at Quai Henri Quatre. 822 00:44:34,638 --> 00:44:37,402 Oh, shit. Quai...? 823 00:44:37,608 --> 00:44:40,338 Henri Quatre. Quai Henri Quatre. 824 00:44:40,577 --> 00:44:42,568 Henri Quatre. 825 00:44:42,780 --> 00:44:45,749 What's wrong with you? No, do you want me to...? Henri Quatre. 826 00:44:45,949 --> 00:44:47,280 - Henry Four? - Yes! 827 00:44:47,484 --> 00:44:50,453 - Come on, why didn't you say so? - I'm sorry. Okay. 828 00:45:02,633 --> 00:45:04,498 Yeah, is this Philippe? 829 00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:07,330 Yeah. Philippe, this is Jesse Wallace. 830 00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:08,869 Yeah. 831 00:45:09,106 --> 00:45:13,304 Well, listen, I'm on one of those boats, right? 832 00:45:13,510 --> 00:45:16,377 And we're gonna arrive at Henry Four. 833 00:45:16,613 --> 00:45:19,946 At Port Henry Four. You know what that is? 834 00:45:20,150 --> 00:45:22,618 All right, great. And you have my bags, right? 835 00:45:22,820 --> 00:45:25,721 Yeah, so we'll be there in... I don't know, it's the next stop. 836 00:45:25,923 --> 00:45:28,289 Okay. Au revoir. 837 00:45:29,393 --> 00:45:31,827 - It's okay? - Yeah, yeah. 838 00:45:32,029 --> 00:45:33,963 Oh, wow. 839 00:45:34,164 --> 00:45:36,826 - Notre Dame, man. Check that out. - Oh, wow. 840 00:45:37,034 --> 00:45:40,993 I heard this story once about when the Germans were occupying Paris... 841 00:45:41,205 --> 00:45:42,797 ...and they had to retreat back. 842 00:45:43,006 --> 00:45:44,906 They wired Notre Dame to blow... 843 00:45:45,142 --> 00:45:49,340 ...but they had to leave one guy in charge of hitting the switch. 844 00:45:49,546 --> 00:45:52,572 And the guy, the soldier, he couldn't do it. 845 00:45:52,783 --> 00:45:56,480 He just sat there, knocked out by how beautiful the place was. 846 00:45:56,687 --> 00:45:58,518 Then, when the Allied troops came in... 847 00:45:58,722 --> 00:46:02,180 ...they found all the explosives lying there and the switch unturned... 848 00:46:02,392 --> 00:46:06,021 ...and they found the same thing at the Sacr�-Coeur, Eiffel Tower... 849 00:46:06,230 --> 00:46:08,494 ...couple other places, I think. 850 00:46:08,699 --> 00:46:10,599 Is that true? 851 00:46:10,801 --> 00:46:13,861 I don't know. I always liked the story, though. 852 00:46:14,071 --> 00:46:15,402 Yeah, that's a great story. 853 00:46:15,672 --> 00:46:18,505 But you have to think that Notre Dame will be gone one day. 854 00:46:18,709 --> 00:46:21,837 There used to be another church at the Seine, right there. 855 00:46:22,045 --> 00:46:24,843 - What, right in the same spot? - Yeah. 856 00:46:26,316 --> 00:46:28,750 You know, this is great. I've never done this. 857 00:46:28,952 --> 00:46:31,546 - Yeah. - I forget about how beautiful Paris is. 858 00:46:31,755 --> 00:46:33,347 It's not so bad, being a tourist. 859 00:46:33,557 --> 00:46:36,025 - Thanks for getting me on the boat. - You're welcome. 860 00:46:36,226 --> 00:46:39,093 I think that book that I wrote was like building something... 861 00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:43,760 ...so that I wouldn't forget the details of the time that we spent together. 862 00:46:44,001 --> 00:46:47,732 You know, like, just as a reminder, that once, we really did meet. 863 00:46:47,938 --> 00:46:50,873 You know, that this was real, this happened. 864 00:46:51,074 --> 00:46:53,042 I'm happy you're saying that, because... 865 00:46:53,243 --> 00:46:57,475 I mean, I always feel like a freak because I'm never able to move on like this: 866 00:46:58,649 --> 00:47:01,914 People just have an affair, or even entire relationships... 867 00:47:02,152 --> 00:47:04,484 ...they break up and they forget. 868 00:47:04,721 --> 00:47:08,555 They move on like they would have changed brand of cereals. 869 00:47:09,226 --> 00:47:12,423 I feel I was never able to forget anyone I've been with... 870 00:47:12,629 --> 00:47:18,158 ...because each person had their own specific qualities. 871 00:47:18,368 --> 00:47:23,203 You can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost. 872 00:47:24,374 --> 00:47:28,504 Each relationship, when it ends, really damages me. I never fully recover. 873 00:47:28,745 --> 00:47:31,839 That's why I'm very careful with getting involved... 874 00:47:32,049 --> 00:47:34,074 ...because it hurts too much. 875 00:47:34,284 --> 00:47:37,412 Even getting laid, I actually don't do that... 876 00:47:37,621 --> 00:47:40,488 ...because I will miss of the person the most mundane things. 877 00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:43,353 Like I'm obsessed with little things. 878 00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:46,024 Maybe I'm crazy, but when I was a little girl... 879 00:47:46,263 --> 00:47:49,130 ...my mom told me that I was always late to school. 880 00:47:49,333 --> 00:47:51,665 One day she followed me to see why. 881 00:47:51,902 --> 00:47:56,168 I was looking at chestnuts falling from the trees, rolling on the sidewalk... 882 00:47:56,373 --> 00:48:02,107 ...or ants crossing the road, the way a leaf casts a shadow on a tree trunk. 883 00:48:02,312 --> 00:48:04,303 Little things. 884 00:48:04,848 --> 00:48:06,645 I think it's the same with people. 885 00:48:07,184 --> 00:48:10,051 I see in them little details, so specific to each of them... 886 00:48:10,287 --> 00:48:14,348 ...that move me and that I miss and will always miss. 887 00:48:14,558 --> 00:48:16,025 You can never replace anyone... 888 00:48:16,226 --> 00:48:20,162 ...because everyone is made of such beautiful, specific details. 889 00:48:23,667 --> 00:48:26,898 Like, I remember the way your beard has a bit of red in it... 890 00:48:27,704 --> 00:48:30,332 ...and how the sun was making it glow... 891 00:48:30,574 --> 00:48:33,338 ...that morning right before you left. 892 00:48:34,311 --> 00:48:38,179 I remembered that, and I missed it. 893 00:48:38,382 --> 00:48:39,679 Really crazy, right? 894 00:48:40,350 --> 00:48:44,218 Now I know for sure. You wanna know why I wrote that stupid book? 895 00:48:44,454 --> 00:48:47,355 - Why? - So you'd come to a reading in Paris... 896 00:48:47,591 --> 00:48:51,721 ...and I could walk up to you and ask, "Where the fuck were you?" 897 00:48:52,195 --> 00:48:54,356 No... You think I'd be here today? 898 00:48:54,564 --> 00:48:59,058 I'm serious. I think I wrote it, in a way, to try to find you. 899 00:48:59,336 --> 00:49:01,361 Okay, that's... I know that's not true... 900 00:49:01,571 --> 00:49:03,869 ...but that's sweet of you. - I think it is true. 901 00:49:04,107 --> 00:49:06,541 What were the chances of us ever meeting again? 902 00:49:07,377 --> 00:49:10,540 After that December, I'd say almost zero. 903 00:49:10,981 --> 00:49:13,006 But we're not real anyway, right? 904 00:49:13,216 --> 00:49:16,379 We're just characters in that old lady's dream. 905 00:49:16,586 --> 00:49:18,952 She's on her deathbed, fantasizing about her youth. 906 00:49:19,156 --> 00:49:21,215 So of course we had to meet again. 907 00:49:21,425 --> 00:49:25,327 Oh, God. Why weren't you there in Vienna? 908 00:49:26,496 --> 00:49:30,227 - I told you why. - I know why, I just... 909 00:49:30,434 --> 00:49:32,629 I wish you would have been. 910 00:49:32,869 --> 00:49:35,064 Our lives might have been so much different. 911 00:49:35,272 --> 00:49:37,433 You think so? 912 00:49:37,641 --> 00:49:39,233 I actually do. 913 00:49:39,476 --> 00:49:42,570 Maybe not. Maybe we would have hated each other eventually. 914 00:49:42,813 --> 00:49:45,646 What, like we hate each other now? 915 00:49:46,616 --> 00:49:51,076 You know, maybe we're... We're only good at brief encounters... 916 00:49:51,288 --> 00:49:55,452 ...walking around in European cities, in warm climate. 917 00:49:55,993 --> 00:49:59,087 Oh, God. Why didn't we exchange phone numbers and stuff? 918 00:49:59,296 --> 00:50:01,423 Why didn't we do that? 919 00:50:01,631 --> 00:50:03,963 Because we were young and stupid. 920 00:50:04,167 --> 00:50:06,431 Do you think we still are? 921 00:50:06,636 --> 00:50:08,729 I guess when you're young you just believe... 922 00:50:08,939 --> 00:50:11,430 ...there'll be many people you'll connect with. 923 00:50:12,142 --> 00:50:14,736 Later in life you realize it only happens a few times. 924 00:50:14,945 --> 00:50:18,506 And you can screw it up, you know. Misconnect. 925 00:50:18,782 --> 00:50:21,148 The past is the past. It was meant to be that way. 926 00:50:21,351 --> 00:50:23,979 You really believe that? That everything's fated? 927 00:50:24,187 --> 00:50:28,146 Well, you know, the world might be less free than we think. 928 00:50:28,358 --> 00:50:30,019 Yeah? 929 00:50:30,327 --> 00:50:34,195 When given these exact circumstances, that's what will happen every time. 930 00:50:34,431 --> 00:50:37,423 Two part hydrogen, one part oxygen, you'll get water every time. 931 00:50:37,634 --> 00:50:41,001 No, I mean, what if your grandmother had lived a week longer, you know? 932 00:50:41,204 --> 00:50:43,798 Or passed away a week earlier? Days, even? 933 00:50:44,007 --> 00:50:45,531 Things might have been different. 934 00:50:45,742 --> 00:50:49,940 - You can't think like that, it's... - You shouldn't on most things, but... 935 00:50:50,147 --> 00:50:55,312 It's just, on this one, it seemed like something was off, you know. 936 00:50:55,852 --> 00:50:59,549 In the months leading up to my wedding, I was thinking about you all the time. 937 00:50:59,756 --> 00:51:03,556 Even on my way there, I'm in the car, a buddy of mine is driving me downtown... 938 00:51:03,760 --> 00:51:06,490 ...and I'm staring out the window and I think I see you... 939 00:51:06,696 --> 00:51:08,823 ...not far from the church, right... 940 00:51:09,032 --> 00:51:11,500 ...folding up an umbrella and walking into a deli... 941 00:51:11,701 --> 00:51:15,296 ...on the corner of 13th and Broadway. 942 00:51:15,505 --> 00:51:18,997 And I thought I was going crazy. But now I think it probably was you. 943 00:51:19,843 --> 00:51:22,437 I lived on 11 th and Broadway. 944 00:51:23,246 --> 00:51:25,077 You see? 945 00:51:26,416 --> 00:51:30,147 So, what is it like to be married? You haven't talked much about that. 946 00:51:31,088 --> 00:51:34,580 I haven't? How weird. 947 00:51:35,125 --> 00:51:39,061 I don't know. We met, you know, when I was in college. 948 00:51:39,262 --> 00:51:45,599 And we broke up and got back together for a period of years, and then... 949 00:51:46,269 --> 00:51:50,467 What? We were sort of back together and she was pregnant... 950 00:51:51,141 --> 00:51:52,699 ...so marriage. 951 00:51:52,909 --> 00:51:54,900 What is she like? 952 00:51:55,112 --> 00:51:58,104 She's a great teacher, a good mom. 953 00:51:58,315 --> 00:52:01,341 She's smart, pretty, you know. 954 00:52:01,551 --> 00:52:03,576 I remember thinking at the time... 955 00:52:03,787 --> 00:52:06,119 ...that so many of the men that I admired most... 956 00:52:06,323 --> 00:52:11,124 ...that their lives were dedicated to something greater than themselves. 957 00:52:11,928 --> 00:52:14,590 So you got married because men you admired were married? 958 00:52:14,798 --> 00:52:21,033 No, no. It's more like I had this... This idea of my best self, you know? 959 00:52:21,238 --> 00:52:22,933 And I wanted to pursue that... 960 00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:25,870 ...even if it might have been overriding my honest self. 961 00:52:26,076 --> 00:52:27,441 You know what I'm saying? 962 00:52:27,644 --> 00:52:32,138 In the moment, I remember thinking it didn't much matter, the who of it all. 963 00:52:32,415 --> 00:52:34,883 I mean, that nobody is gonna be everything to you... 964 00:52:35,085 --> 00:52:37,918 ...and that it's just the action of committing yourself... 965 00:52:38,121 --> 00:52:41,579 ...you know, meeting your responsibilities, that matters. 966 00:52:41,791 --> 00:52:45,386 I mean, what is love, right, if it's not respect, trust, admiration? 967 00:52:45,595 --> 00:52:48,621 And I... I felt all those things. 968 00:52:48,832 --> 00:52:51,665 Cut to the present, and I feel like I'm running a nursery... 969 00:52:51,868 --> 00:52:54,496 ...with somebody I used to date, you know. 970 00:52:54,704 --> 00:52:56,501 I mean, I'm like a monk, you know. 971 00:52:56,706 --> 00:53:01,575 I mean, I've had sex less than 10 times in the last four years. 972 00:53:02,112 --> 00:53:04,637 - What, what? You laughing at me? - No. 973 00:53:04,848 --> 00:53:07,646 - It sounds pathetic? - What monastery do monks have sex...? 974 00:53:07,851 --> 00:53:11,150 Okay, you're right, I'm doing better than most monks. 975 00:53:11,354 --> 00:53:13,822 But I do, I feel like if somebody were to touch me... 976 00:53:14,024 --> 00:53:16,185 ...I would dissolve into molecules. 977 00:53:16,393 --> 00:53:19,123 Well, we're here. We've gotta go. Come on. 978 00:53:19,329 --> 00:53:21,160 Shit. 979 00:53:33,710 --> 00:53:36,645 - I'm sorry to hear that, you know. - What? 980 00:53:36,846 --> 00:53:39,872 You're not that happy with your marriage. 981 00:53:40,116 --> 00:53:42,710 - This friend of mine, she's a shrink... - How's she doing? 982 00:53:42,919 --> 00:53:44,477 She's a mess, but... 983 00:53:44,688 --> 00:53:47,885 No, she said she's been dealing with couples that are breaking up... 984 00:53:48,124 --> 00:53:50,217 ...for the same reason. - What reason is that? 985 00:53:50,427 --> 00:53:53,157 They all expected, after a few years of living together... 986 00:53:53,363 --> 00:53:55,661 ...for the passion, that desire, to be the same. 987 00:53:55,865 --> 00:53:57,298 - Yeah, right. - It's impossible. 988 00:53:57,500 --> 00:53:58,797 And thank God... 989 00:53:59,002 --> 00:54:02,699 ...we'd end up with aneurysms in that constant state of excitement, right? 990 00:54:02,906 --> 00:54:04,669 We'd do nothing at all with our lives. 991 00:54:04,874 --> 00:54:08,332 Would you have finished your book if you were fucking every five minutes? 992 00:54:08,545 --> 00:54:11,105 I might have welcomed the challenge, I mean... 993 00:54:11,348 --> 00:54:14,044 It's natural for your wife after the birth of your son... 994 00:54:14,251 --> 00:54:16,845 ...to give all her love to the little one. - Of course. 995 00:54:17,053 --> 00:54:20,181 If she was obsessed with sex, riding you like a wildcat... 996 00:54:20,390 --> 00:54:22,085 That wouldn't make any sense, right? 997 00:54:22,292 --> 00:54:25,853 Everything you're saying makes sense. It's not about sex. 998 00:54:26,062 --> 00:54:28,223 No, I know. It's obvious. 999 00:54:28,431 --> 00:54:29,989 I... 1000 00:54:31,167 --> 00:54:34,330 You know, couples are so confused lately. 1001 00:54:34,537 --> 00:54:36,767 I think it must be that... 1002 00:54:36,973 --> 00:54:40,909 ...men need to feel essential and they don't anymore. 1003 00:54:41,111 --> 00:54:43,602 It's been imprinted in their head for so many years... 1004 00:54:43,813 --> 00:54:45,508 ...that they had to be the provider. 1005 00:54:45,715 --> 00:54:49,344 Like, I'm a strong, independent woman in my professional life. 1006 00:54:49,552 --> 00:54:51,042 I don't need a man to feed me... 1007 00:54:51,254 --> 00:54:54,553 ...but I still need a man to love me and that I could love. 1008 00:54:55,959 --> 00:54:58,587 - So your driver's here. - Yeah. 1009 00:54:58,828 --> 00:55:00,455 Well, I guess this is goodbye. 1010 00:55:00,697 --> 00:55:02,289 - You better give me your... - No, no. 1011 00:55:02,499 --> 00:55:04,694 Why don't we just give you a ride home? 1012 00:55:04,901 --> 00:55:07,199 - Well, I can take the M�tro. I'm fine. - No, I... 1013 00:55:07,404 --> 00:55:10,305 My flight's not until 10. I'll be arriving two hours early. 1014 00:55:10,507 --> 00:55:11,906 This way we can keep talking. 1015 00:55:12,108 --> 00:55:14,201 - Monsieur, can...? - It's not on the way. 1016 00:55:28,992 --> 00:55:30,892 You told him where you are and all that? 1017 00:55:31,094 --> 00:55:32,686 Yeah. 1018 00:55:36,032 --> 00:55:38,466 - He knows where he's going? - Yes. 1019 00:55:38,668 --> 00:55:40,499 Glad somebody does. 1020 00:55:40,737 --> 00:55:44,798 - But this is better than the M�tro, right? - Definitely. 1021 00:55:47,277 --> 00:55:51,646 I was thinking, for me it's better I don't romanticize things as much anymore. 1022 00:55:51,848 --> 00:55:53,679 I was suffering so much all the time. 1023 00:55:53,883 --> 00:55:57,341 I still have lots of dreams, but they're not in regard to my love life. 1024 00:55:57,620 --> 00:55:59,952 It doesn't make me sad, it's just the way it is. 1025 00:56:00,190 --> 00:56:04,286 Is that why you're in a relationship with somebody who's never around? 1026 00:56:04,494 --> 00:56:08,362 Yes, obviously I can't deal with the day-to-day life of a relationship. 1027 00:56:08,565 --> 00:56:10,624 Yeah, we have this exciting time together... 1028 00:56:10,834 --> 00:56:14,167 ...and he leaves and I miss him, but at least I'm not dying inside. 1029 00:56:14,371 --> 00:56:16,771 When someone's always around me, I'm suffocating. 1030 00:56:17,006 --> 00:56:19,839 No, wait, you just said that you need to love and be loved. 1031 00:56:20,076 --> 00:56:22,874 Yeah, but when I do, it quickly makes me nauseous. 1032 00:56:23,079 --> 00:56:24,512 It's a disaster. 1033 00:56:24,714 --> 00:56:27,342 I mean, I'm really happy only when I'm on my own. 1034 00:56:27,550 --> 00:56:32,385 Even being alone, it's better than sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely. 1035 00:56:33,089 --> 00:56:34,989 It's not so easy for me to be a romantic. 1036 00:56:35,191 --> 00:56:38,649 You start off that way, and after you've been screwed over a few times... 1037 00:56:38,862 --> 00:56:43,162 ...you forget about your delusional ideas and you take what comes into your life. 1038 00:56:43,867 --> 00:56:46,335 That's not even true. I haven't been screwed over... 1039 00:56:46,536 --> 00:56:48,902 ...l've just had too many blah relationships. 1040 00:56:49,105 --> 00:56:50,902 They weren't mean, they cared for me... 1041 00:56:51,107 --> 00:56:54,565 ...but there were no real connection or excitement. 1042 00:56:54,811 --> 00:56:56,904 At least, not from my side. 1043 00:56:57,113 --> 00:56:59,741 God, I'm sorry, is it really that bad? 1044 00:56:59,949 --> 00:57:01,974 It's not, right? 1045 00:57:03,253 --> 00:57:05,983 You know, it's not even that. I was... 1046 00:57:06,189 --> 00:57:09,317 I was fine until I read your fucking book. 1047 00:57:09,859 --> 00:57:11,486 It stirred shit up, you know? 1048 00:57:11,895 --> 00:57:14,489 It reminded me how genuinely romantic I was... 1049 00:57:14,697 --> 00:57:16,824 ...how I had so much hope in things... 1050 00:57:17,033 --> 00:57:20,525 ...and now it's like I don't believe in anything that relates to love. 1051 00:57:20,737 --> 00:57:22,705 I don't feel things for people anymore. 1052 00:57:23,873 --> 00:57:27,502 In a way, I put all my romanticism into that one night... 1053 00:57:27,710 --> 00:57:30,178 ...and I was never able to feel all this again. 1054 00:57:30,380 --> 00:57:32,871 Like, somehow this night took things away from me... 1055 00:57:33,082 --> 00:57:35,448 ...and I expressed them to you, and you took them with you. 1056 00:57:35,652 --> 00:57:37,517 It made me feel cold, like love wasn't for me. 1057 00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:40,416 I don't believe that. I don't believe that. 1058 00:57:41,724 --> 00:57:45,922 You know what? Reality and love are almost contradictory for me. 1059 00:57:46,129 --> 00:57:50,395 It's funny, every single of my exes, they're now married. 1060 00:57:50,600 --> 00:57:53,467 Men go out with me, we break up, and then they get married. 1061 00:57:53,670 --> 00:57:57,128 And later they call me to thank me for teaching them what love is... 1062 00:57:57,373 --> 00:57:59,807 ...and that I taught them to care and respect women. 1063 00:58:00,009 --> 00:58:02,375 - I think I'm one of those. - I want to kill them! 1064 00:58:02,612 --> 00:58:06,207 Why didn't they ask me? I would have said no, but they could have asked! 1065 00:58:06,416 --> 00:58:10,147 I know it's my fault because I never felt it was the right man. 1066 00:58:10,420 --> 00:58:13,583 Never. But what does it mean, the right man, the love of your life? 1067 00:58:13,790 --> 00:58:17,089 The concept is absurd. We can only be complete with another person. 1068 00:58:17,327 --> 00:58:19,659 - It's evil, right? - Can I talk? 1069 00:58:19,896 --> 00:58:23,263 I guess I've been heartbroken too many times and then I recovered. 1070 00:58:23,466 --> 00:58:26,060 So now, you know, from the starts, I make no effort. 1071 00:58:26,269 --> 00:58:28,999 - I know it's not gonna work out. - You can't do that. 1072 00:58:29,272 --> 00:58:31,103 You can't live trying to avoid pain... 1073 00:58:31,341 --> 00:58:33,104 ...at the expense... - Those are words. 1074 00:58:33,309 --> 00:58:34,742 I've gotta get away from you. 1075 00:58:34,978 --> 00:58:37,071 - Stop the car, I wanna get out. - No, don't... 1076 00:58:37,313 --> 00:58:39,144 - Keep talking. - It's being around you. 1077 00:58:39,349 --> 00:58:41,681 Don't touch me, you know. I want to get on a cab. 1078 00:58:44,454 --> 00:58:46,820 No, don't. No, no, keep going. 1079 00:58:47,023 --> 00:58:50,584 Listen, I'm just so happy... Thank you, just keep going. 1080 00:58:50,793 --> 00:58:52,454 All right. 1081 00:58:53,830 --> 00:58:57,527 Look, I'm just so happy, all right, to be with you. 1082 00:58:57,734 --> 00:59:01,101 I am. I'm so glad you didn't forget about me, okay? 1083 00:59:01,304 --> 00:59:03,966 No, I didn't. And it pisses me off, okay? 1084 00:59:04,207 --> 00:59:07,836 You come here to Paris, all romantic, and married. 1085 00:59:08,044 --> 00:59:09,477 Okay? Screw you. 1086 00:59:10,346 --> 00:59:12,678 Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to get you. 1087 00:59:12,882 --> 00:59:15,316 I mean, all I need is a married man. 1088 00:59:15,985 --> 00:59:19,284 There's been so much water under the bridge, it's not even about you. 1089 00:59:19,489 --> 00:59:21,923 It's about that moment in time that's forever gone. 1090 00:59:22,158 --> 00:59:25,025 You say that, but you didn't even remember having sex, so... 1091 00:59:25,228 --> 00:59:28,061 Of course I remembered. 1092 00:59:29,232 --> 00:59:31,632 - You did? - Yes. 1093 00:59:31,834 --> 00:59:35,167 - Women pretend things like that. - They do? 1094 00:59:35,405 --> 00:59:39,341 What was I supposed to say? That I remember the wine in the park... 1095 00:59:39,542 --> 00:59:43,000 ...and us looking up at the stars fading away as the sun came up? 1096 00:59:43,212 --> 00:59:46,545 We had sex twice, you idiot! 1097 00:59:47,984 --> 00:59:51,715 All right, you know what, I'm just happy to see you. 1098 00:59:51,988 --> 00:59:55,355 Even if you've become an angry, manic-depressive activist... 1099 00:59:55,558 --> 00:59:59,016 ...I still like you, I still enjoy being around you. 1100 00:59:59,729 --> 01:00:04,063 And I feel the same. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened, I just... 1101 01:00:04,267 --> 01:00:06,701 - I had to let it all out. - Don't worry about it. 1102 01:00:06,903 --> 01:00:09,497 I'm so miserable in my love life, in my relationship. 1103 01:00:09,706 --> 01:00:12,834 I always act as... Like, you know, I'm detached. 1104 01:00:13,042 --> 01:00:16,170 But I'm dying inside. I'm dying because I'm so numb. 1105 01:00:16,379 --> 01:00:20,076 I don't feel pain or excitement, I'm not even bitter, I'm just... 1106 01:00:20,283 --> 01:00:22,911 You think you're the one dying inside? 1107 01:00:23,119 --> 01:00:27,283 My life is 24l7 bad. 1108 01:00:27,523 --> 01:00:28,785 - I'm sorry. - No, no. 1109 01:00:29,025 --> 01:00:31,892 I mean, the only happiness I get is when I'm out with my son. 1110 01:00:32,095 --> 01:00:33,722 I've been to marriage counseling... 1111 01:00:33,930 --> 01:00:36,524 ...l've done things I never thought I would have to do. 1112 01:00:36,733 --> 01:00:39,634 I've lit candles, bought self-help books, lingerie. 1113 01:00:39,836 --> 01:00:42,202 - Did the candles help? - Hell, no. 1114 01:00:42,405 --> 01:00:44,873 I don't love her the way she needs to be loved... 1115 01:00:45,074 --> 01:00:49,477 ...and I don't even see a future for us, but then I look at my little boy... 1116 01:00:49,679 --> 01:00:53,046 ...sitting across from me, and I think I'd suffer any torture... 1117 01:00:53,249 --> 01:00:55,581 ...to be with him for all the minutes of his life. 1118 01:00:55,785 --> 01:00:57,616 I don't want to miss out on one. 1119 01:00:57,820 --> 01:01:02,120 But then, there's no joy or laughter in my home, you know? 1120 01:01:02,325 --> 01:01:05,988 - I don't want him growing up in that. - No laughter? That's terrible. 1121 01:01:06,195 --> 01:01:08,095 My parents have been together 35 years... 1122 01:01:08,297 --> 01:01:10,595 ...and even when they fight they end up laughing. 1123 01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:14,566 I don't want to be one of those people who are getting divorced at 52... 1124 01:01:14,771 --> 01:01:19,140 ...and falling down into tears, admitting they never really loved their spouse... 1125 01:01:19,342 --> 01:01:24,336 ...and they feel their life has been sucked up into a vacuum cleaner. 1126 01:01:24,614 --> 01:01:28,141 You know, I want a great life. I want her to have a great life... 1127 01:01:28,384 --> 01:01:30,545 ...she deserves that. 1128 01:01:30,787 --> 01:01:34,086 But we're just living in the pretense of a marriage, responsibility... 1129 01:01:34,290 --> 01:01:38,249 ...you know, all these ideas of how people are supposed to live. 1130 01:01:39,996 --> 01:01:43,830 But then I... I have these dreams... 1131 01:01:45,368 --> 01:01:46,699 What dreams? 1132 01:01:46,903 --> 01:01:50,361 I have these dreams, you know, that... 1133 01:01:50,873 --> 01:01:52,841 ...l'm standing on a platform... 1134 01:01:54,177 --> 01:01:57,271 ...and you keep going by on a train... 1135 01:01:57,480 --> 01:02:01,849 ...and you go by, and you go by, and you go by, you go by. 1136 01:02:02,051 --> 01:02:03,882 And I wake up with the fucking sweats. 1137 01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:06,350 And then I have this other dream... 1138 01:02:06,622 --> 01:02:10,388 ...where you're pregnant in bed beside me naked... 1139 01:02:10,660 --> 01:02:14,391 ...and I want so badly to touch you, but you tell me not to and you look away. 1140 01:02:14,630 --> 01:02:19,067 And I... And I touch you anyway... 1141 01:02:19,268 --> 01:02:23,705 ...right on your ankle, and your skin is so soft that I wake up in sobs, all right? 1142 01:02:24,507 --> 01:02:27,908 My wife is there looking at me, and I feel I'm a million miles from her. 1143 01:02:28,144 --> 01:02:32,137 And I know that there's something wrong, that I... 1144 01:02:32,348 --> 01:02:34,316 God, that I can't keep living like this... 1145 01:02:34,517 --> 01:02:37,008 ...that there's gotta be more to love than commitment. 1146 01:02:37,253 --> 01:02:40,017 But then I think that I might have given up... 1147 01:02:40,223 --> 01:02:42,088 ...on the whole idea of romantic love. 1148 01:02:42,291 --> 01:02:45,556 That I might have put it to bed that... 1149 01:02:45,762 --> 01:02:48,492 That day when you weren't there. 1150 01:02:48,698 --> 01:02:51,394 You know, I think I might have done that. 1151 01:02:52,702 --> 01:02:54,863 Why are you telling me all this? 1152 01:02:55,772 --> 01:02:59,936 I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm... I should... 1153 01:03:01,177 --> 01:03:03,077 I shouldn't have. 1154 01:03:03,279 --> 01:03:04,837 You know, it's so weird. 1155 01:03:05,047 --> 01:03:09,040 People think they are the only one going through tough times. 1156 01:03:09,285 --> 01:03:13,551 I mean, when I read the article, I thought your life was perfect. 1157 01:03:13,890 --> 01:03:17,758 A wife, a kid, published author. 1158 01:03:18,427 --> 01:03:21,760 But your personal life is more of a mess than mine. 1159 01:03:21,964 --> 01:03:24,262 I'm sorry. 1160 01:03:24,467 --> 01:03:27,561 Well, I'm glad it's good for something. 1161 01:03:30,306 --> 01:03:33,537 - This is where you live? - Yeah. 1162 01:03:34,477 --> 01:03:38,607 So you're just relieved that I'm in even more deep shit than you are? 1163 01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:40,646 Yes, you've made me feel better. 1164 01:03:40,850 --> 01:03:42,977 Oh, good, I'm glad. 1165 01:03:43,219 --> 01:03:45,619 No, I really wish you the best. 1166 01:03:45,822 --> 01:03:49,451 It's not because I'm incapable of having a good relationship or a family... 1167 01:03:49,659 --> 01:03:51,752 ...that I wish everyone to be doomed like me. 1168 01:03:51,961 --> 01:03:54,293 I'm sure you'd make... Be a great mom someday. 1169 01:03:54,497 --> 01:03:55,964 - Really? You think so? - Yeah... 1170 01:03:56,165 --> 01:03:59,259 ...a few antidepressants, you know, you'll do great. 1171 01:04:00,102 --> 01:04:02,900 - Okay, say stop. - Stop. 1172 01:04:03,372 --> 01:04:06,068 - Okay. - You ready? Okay. 1173 01:04:16,252 --> 01:04:20,416 - So I want to try something. - What? 1174 01:04:22,892 --> 01:04:27,226 I want to see if you stay together or if you dissolve into molecules. 1175 01:04:28,297 --> 01:04:30,197 How am I doing? 1176 01:04:30,399 --> 01:04:32,299 Still here. 1177 01:04:32,501 --> 01:04:34,628 Good. I like being here. 1178 01:04:38,541 --> 01:04:40,099 Is this your apartment? 1179 01:04:40,309 --> 01:04:41,970 No, I live down there. 1180 01:04:42,178 --> 01:04:44,373 - Down there? - Yeah. 1181 01:04:44,580 --> 01:04:47,048 Monsieur, I'm gonna walk her to her door. 1182 01:04:56,158 --> 01:04:57,455 This is incredible. 1183 01:04:57,660 --> 01:05:00,322 - This is where you live? - Yeah. 1184 01:05:00,529 --> 01:05:03,692 - How long have you been here? - Four years. 1185 01:05:05,301 --> 01:05:07,394 - So tell me... - What? 1186 01:05:07,603 --> 01:05:09,230 Is it all true about your dreams... 1187 01:05:09,438 --> 01:05:12,168 ...or did you say that to hopefully get in my pants? 1188 01:05:12,375 --> 01:05:13,899 I said that to get in your pants. 1189 01:05:14,110 --> 01:05:16,578 - I use that all the time. - Oh, okay. Does it work? 1190 01:05:16,846 --> 01:05:19,679 You know. Sometimes. 1191 01:05:20,883 --> 01:05:24,341 Here's my kitty. Oh, so cute. Look at him. 1192 01:05:24,553 --> 01:05:26,350 You know what I love about this cat? 1193 01:05:26,555 --> 01:05:28,819 Every morning I bring him to the courtyard... 1194 01:05:29,058 --> 01:05:33,722 ...and every single morning he looks at everything like it was the first time. 1195 01:05:33,930 --> 01:05:37,991 Every corner, every tree, every plant. 1196 01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:40,600 Smells everything with his little cute nose. 1197 01:05:40,836 --> 01:05:44,863 Oh, I love my kitty. I love my kitty. 1198 01:05:46,142 --> 01:05:48,007 - What's his name? - Che. 1199 01:05:48,711 --> 01:05:50,542 Che? 1200 01:05:52,248 --> 01:05:54,614 - What? - Commie. 1201 01:05:56,118 --> 01:05:59,087 No, "che" in Argentina means "hey." 1202 01:05:59,288 --> 01:06:01,688 - Okay. - Yes. 1203 01:06:01,891 --> 01:06:05,588 Oh, baby. Oh, yes, yes, yes. 1204 01:06:08,965 --> 01:06:12,765 We're having a little party. It's so much fun. 1205 01:06:22,979 --> 01:06:24,776 - So... - So. 1206 01:06:40,997 --> 01:06:45,434 You know what? I was thinking, would you play me one of your songs? 1207 01:06:45,634 --> 01:06:47,761 - You're gonna miss your flight. - I won't. 1208 01:06:47,970 --> 01:06:50,837 I'm gonna be in the airport for over an hour, reading... 1209 01:06:51,040 --> 01:06:53,941 ...wishing you'd played me one of your songs. 1210 01:06:54,176 --> 01:06:56,337 One song? Okay, but quickly. 1211 01:06:56,545 --> 01:06:58,308 Okay. 1212 01:07:03,686 --> 01:07:06,883 God, I love these old staircases. 1213 01:07:45,194 --> 01:07:47,458 - Hold this. - What, for me? 1214 01:07:47,663 --> 01:07:49,654 Hey there, buddy. 1215 01:07:50,766 --> 01:07:52,825 Che. 1216 01:08:04,346 --> 01:08:08,077 - Would you like some tea? - Yeah, sure. 1217 01:08:08,617 --> 01:08:10,209 Wow. 1218 01:08:11,253 --> 01:08:14,711 - Is chamomile okay? - Yeah. Great. 1219 01:08:14,924 --> 01:08:17,154 - Merci. - Messy? 1220 01:08:17,359 --> 01:08:21,056 - You think my apartment is messy? - No, no. Merci. 1221 01:08:21,263 --> 01:08:24,755 - Merci beaucoup. - Ah, merci. 1222 01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:28,697 I meant to tell you, your French has improved a lot. 1223 01:08:28,904 --> 01:08:30,201 - Really? - Yeah. 1224 01:08:30,406 --> 01:08:32,966 Yeah, you've really mastered the language. 1225 01:08:33,776 --> 01:08:36,870 All right, all right, what song are you gonna play me? 1226 01:08:39,115 --> 01:08:42,016 No, I can't. It's too embarrassing. It's been... 1227 01:08:42,218 --> 01:08:45,881 Whoa. No way. No way. I came up here, you cannot crap out on me now. 1228 01:08:46,088 --> 01:08:48,079 One song. Anything will be great. 1229 01:08:48,324 --> 01:08:50,087 But listen, you're gonna laugh at me. 1230 01:08:50,292 --> 01:08:51,759 - You think so? - Yes. 1231 01:08:52,027 --> 01:08:53,995 I doubt it. 1232 01:08:56,765 --> 01:08:58,130 Okay. 1233 01:08:58,334 --> 01:09:00,700 What do you want to hear? I have... 1234 01:09:00,903 --> 01:09:03,201 I have three songs in English. 1235 01:09:03,405 --> 01:09:04,736 One's about my cat... 1236 01:09:04,940 --> 01:09:08,967 ...one's about my ex-boyfriend... Well, ex-ex-boyfriend... 1237 01:09:09,178 --> 01:09:11,646 ...and there's one about... 1238 01:09:12,081 --> 01:09:15,414 Well, it's just a little waltz. 1239 01:09:15,618 --> 01:09:17,711 A waltz? Yeah. 1240 01:09:17,953 --> 01:09:20,046 - Play the waltz. - Right. 1241 01:09:20,289 --> 01:09:22,655 I haven't played it in a while. You sure? 1242 01:09:26,061 --> 01:09:27,551 Okay. 1243 01:09:28,330 --> 01:09:30,594 All right, the waltz. 1244 01:09:42,845 --> 01:09:47,305 Let me sing you a waltz 1245 01:09:47,516 --> 01:09:52,249 Out of nowhere, out of my thoughts 1246 01:09:52,454 --> 01:09:56,948 Let me sing you a waltz 1247 01:09:57,159 --> 01:10:00,993 About this one-night stand 1248 01:10:02,131 --> 01:10:07,797 You were, for me, that night 1249 01:10:08,003 --> 01:10:13,873 Everything I always dreamt of in life 1250 01:10:14,109 --> 01:10:17,601 But now you're gone 1251 01:10:17,813 --> 01:10:22,011 You are far-gone 1252 01:10:23,052 --> 01:10:27,682 All the way to your island of rain 1253 01:10:27,890 --> 01:10:33,726 It was, for you, just a one-night thing 1254 01:10:33,929 --> 01:10:36,864 But you were much more to me 1255 01:10:37,132 --> 01:10:39,794 Just so you know 1256 01:10:40,869 --> 01:10:43,838 I don't care what they say 1257 01:10:44,039 --> 01:10:48,976 I know what you meant For me that day 1258 01:10:49,178 --> 01:10:53,979 I just want another try 1259 01:10:54,183 --> 01:10:59,143 I just want another night 1260 01:11:00,422 --> 01:11:06,361 Even if it doesn't seem quite right 1261 01:11:06,595 --> 01:11:10,554 You meant, for me, much more 1262 01:11:10,766 --> 01:11:15,066 Than anyone I've met before 1263 01:11:15,271 --> 01:11:21,574 One single night with you, little Jesse 1264 01:11:21,777 --> 01:11:26,874 Is worth a thousand with anybody 1265 01:11:27,950 --> 01:11:31,283 I have no bitterness, my sweet 1266 01:11:31,687 --> 01:11:36,715 I'll never forget this one-night thing 1267 01:11:36,925 --> 01:11:43,023 Even tomorrow, in other arms 1268 01:11:43,232 --> 01:11:49,228 My heart will stay yours until I die 1269 01:11:53,442 --> 01:11:58,209 Let me sing you a waltz 1270 01:11:58,414 --> 01:12:03,408 Out of nowhere, out of my blues 1271 01:12:03,619 --> 01:12:08,556 Let me sing you a waltz 1272 01:12:08,757 --> 01:12:13,922 About this lovely one-night stand 1273 01:12:31,046 --> 01:12:34,641 - No, one more! Please, please. - No! It was our deal. 1274 01:12:34,883 --> 01:12:37,317 One... One song. No, no, no. 1275 01:12:37,553 --> 01:12:40,078 You can have your tea and then... 1276 01:12:45,527 --> 01:12:47,859 - All right, let me ask you one question. - What? 1277 01:12:48,063 --> 01:12:51,328 Do you just plug that name in for every guy that comes up here? 1278 01:12:51,967 --> 01:12:53,264 Yes, of course. 1279 01:12:53,469 --> 01:12:57,496 What do you think, that I wrote the song about you? Are you nuts? 1280 01:13:01,910 --> 01:13:04,276 Is this you? Little cross-eyed Celine? 1281 01:13:04,480 --> 01:13:07,005 - Yes. That's funny. - Cute. 1282 01:13:08,417 --> 01:13:11,818 - Is that your grandmother? - Yeah. 1283 01:13:13,589 --> 01:13:15,648 Oh, wow. 1284 01:13:16,058 --> 01:13:19,118 - You want some honey? - Yeah, sure. 1285 01:14:08,844 --> 01:14:11,108 Did you ever see Nina Simone in concert? 1286 01:14:11,346 --> 01:14:13,837 No, I never did. I can't believe she's gone. 1287 01:14:14,216 --> 01:14:15,683 I know, it's so sad. 1288 01:14:16,852 --> 01:14:18,251 Thanks. 1289 01:14:18,454 --> 01:14:20,422 It's hot. 1290 01:14:22,558 --> 01:14:25,356 I saw her twice in concert. 1291 01:14:25,994 --> 01:14:28,258 She was so great. 1292 01:14:28,497 --> 01:14:31,466 That's one of my favorite songs of hers. 1293 01:14:47,382 --> 01:14:48,644 She was so great. 1294 01:14:50,619 --> 01:14:52,883 She was so funny in concert too. 1295 01:14:53,088 --> 01:14:57,218 She would... She would be right in the middle of a song and then... 1296 01:14:57,426 --> 01:14:59,257 ...you know, stop... 1297 01:14:59,461 --> 01:15:03,488 ...and walk from the piano all the way to the edge of the stage. 1298 01:15:03,699 --> 01:15:05,997 Like, really slowly. 1299 01:15:09,004 --> 01:15:12,269 And she'd start talking to someone in the audience. 1300 01:15:12,474 --> 01:15:15,807 "Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, yeah. 1301 01:15:16,612 --> 01:15:18,807 I love you too." 1302 01:15:19,281 --> 01:15:23,684 And then she'd walk back. Take her time, no hurry, you know. 1303 01:15:23,919 --> 01:15:27,355 She had that big, cute ass. 1304 01:15:27,556 --> 01:15:29,080 She would move. 1305 01:15:30,826 --> 01:15:35,627 And then she would go back to the piano and play some more, you know. 1306 01:15:37,165 --> 01:15:38,792 And then she would, I don't know... 1307 01:15:39,001 --> 01:15:41,469 ...just start another song in the middle of another. 1308 01:15:41,670 --> 01:15:45,436 You know, like, stop again, and be like: 1309 01:15:45,641 --> 01:15:49,600 "You over there, can you move that fan. 1310 01:15:50,546 --> 01:15:52,639 You're cute. 1311 01:16:13,702 --> 01:16:15,670 Oh, yeah." 1312 01:16:19,241 --> 01:16:23,507 Baby, you are gonna miss that plane. 1313 01:16:24,846 --> 01:16:26,711 I know.