1
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:53,512
Los Angeles Tower,
this is Transworld 22 Heavy.
2
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:57,140
We are going down!
Repeat, engines two and...
3
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,226
L.A. Tower, this is...
4
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,436
Mayday! Mayday!
5
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:03,689
22 Heavy, pull up! Pull up!
6
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:10,756
Andrew,
this is your father.
7
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,841
Hello?
8
00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:18,514
Look, you don't call me back,
so I don't know how to do this.
9
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,768
If you're not gonna
return my calls...
10
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:25,604
then there's no way
for us to communicate...
11
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:29,816
Look, I don't know
how to do this...
12
00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:32,861
but you're gonna need
to come home now.
13
00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:35,614
Last night...
14
00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,616
Your mother died
last night, Andrew.
15
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:40,327
She drowned.
16
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,872
Last night,
she drowned in the bath.
17
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,268
Ten r�sum�s just today.
18
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:49,104
They come in every day
from Idaho or Milwaukee or Florida.
19
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,858
And you know what they want even more than
a guest spot on Everybody Loves Raymond?
20
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:56,028
They want your job. This cannot happen again.
This will never happen again.
21
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:58,280
You have two tables.
You are 30 minutes late.
22
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,949
And if I ever say this again,
your job will go to...
23
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,452
Todd Slauson
from Duluth, Minnesota.
24
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,670
Sparkling or flat?
25
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,340
Waiter 10,
do you have your earpiece in?
26
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:19,426
You forget the order 41
for Table 101.
27
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,803
What the fuck, man?
What, are you on break?
28
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,764
Nah, I'm just
messin'with you.
29
00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:27,518
Uh, we'll have four
Ketel Red Bulls and...
30
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:31,230
And I'll have a Ketel cosmo
with a Red Bull and some bread ASAP.
31
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,316
We don't have bread.
32
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:37,027
What do you mean?
How can you not have bread?
33
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:40,656
Uh, we're a Vietnamese restaurant.
We just don't have bread.
34
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,783
But you're
not Vietnamese.
35
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:45,702
No, I'm not.
36
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:50,541
Can I have something to chew on?
Fuck. Bamboo, whatever.
37
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,668
I'll see what I can find.
38
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,881
Waiter number 12...
39
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,342
Flight Number 121
with nonstop service...
40
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:03,554
to Newark International
will be departing from Gate 32.
41
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:28,055
Shit, yo.
42
00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:30,057
Holy shit.
43
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,476
What's up, man?
44
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,478
Largeman, what are you
doing here?
45
00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:37,940
Uh, that's my mom.
46
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:40,943
- Fuck.
- Oh, fuck.
47
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,945
Sorry.
48
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:45,364
Yeah.
49
00:06:45,489 --> 00:06:48,867
So, welcome back home.
50
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:50,702
Thanks.
51
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:53,163
So what have you
been doing?
52
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:55,457
You still, uh,
acting and shit, right?
53
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,918
- Yeah.
- L-In L.A., right?
54
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,920
- Yeah.
- That's cool.
55
00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:01,922
I hear that place
is, like, fucking crazy.
56
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:05,050
My cousin's a writer out there.
Says that place is mad crazy.
57
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:08,262
He's, like, writing a movie
about snowboarders or some shit.
58
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:10,305
I don't...
I don't know.
59
00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:13,475
Um, but I should
introduce you to him, Largeman.
60
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,477
Maybe you two
could do something together.
61
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,604
Yeah, definitely.
62
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:20,190
What are you
doing tonight, man?
63
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:24,027
Uh, nothing.
No real plans.
64
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,405
I'm just in town
for a couple days, so...
65
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,407
You should
come out with us.
66
00:07:29,992 --> 00:07:32,703
We're gonna go over the Gleasons' house.
They're having some...
67
00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:34,872
fucking huge party
or something.
68
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:37,624
- Supposedly.
- Well, yeah. Supposedly.
69
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:40,294
- Really?
- He lives up on the hill.
70
00:07:40,419 --> 00:07:42,588
We'll probably go over there
after we bury your mom.
71
00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:44,756
- Well, I got to shower.
- Same.
72
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:50,512
Do you know your mother
redid the hallway bathroom?
73
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,599
What?
I'm sorry. What?
74
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:56,602
Since I met her,
she never showed an interest in anything.
75
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,979
All of a sudden,
a month ago, she wakes up...
76
00:07:59,104 --> 00:08:01,607
she wants to redecorate
a bathroom.
77
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,984
I helped her.
78
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:07,362
- Oh, must have been fun.
- Well, I sew.
79
00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:09,364
I made you something.
80
00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:11,325
It's a shirt.
81
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,912
That's... That's good.
Thank you.
82
00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:18,832
Will you try it on now?
83
00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:22,377
Now?
84
00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:25,088
In case I have to fix it
before you leave again...
85
00:08:25,214 --> 00:08:27,925
and we don't see you
for another nine years.
86
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,927
I wanna make sure it fits.
87
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,721
Oh. Okay.
88
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,766
You're gonna
love the material.
89
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:39,937
I used the leftovers from
your mother's design. Gorgeous.
90
00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,413
Hi.
91
00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:04,002
- Hello.
- How you doing?
92
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:07,965
"Well, besides that,
Mrs. Lincoln, how was the show?"
93
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,635
You know, I'm not really sure what
to say here, Dad, so I'm sorry.
94
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,179
Mm.
95
00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:16,515
How are you?
96
00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,686
I'm okay.
97
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:23,188
I've been getting these
really bad headaches though.
98
00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,983
Um, they're really quick.
09:12 2004-12-15129
99
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:29,570
It's like a... just a little
lightning storm in my head.
100
00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:31,780
Just for a second,
and then it's gone.
101
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:35,701
I just thought maybe you could help me
get that checked out while I'm home.
102
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,995
Go see Dr. Cohen
first thing in the morning.
103
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,455
He's a neurologist in my building.
I-I'll call him.
104
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:43,333
He'll fit you in. I'm sure it's
nothing to worry about.
105
00:09:48,005 --> 00:09:49,923
Place looks good.
106
00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:53,677
Oh, that's nice. Yeah, we've been
doing a lot of work on it.
107
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:55,804
Really?
108
00:09:58,390 --> 00:10:01,602
Actually, no.
I don't know why I just said that.
109
00:10:01,727 --> 00:10:04,188
Someone redid the, uh,
hallway bathroom. I saw that.
110
00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:06,565
Yeah. That's new.
111
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,363
I'm glad you're here.
112
00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:18,327
Saying good-bye
is important.
113
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,957
I'm glad you could
fit it in.
114
00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:40,242
- Put your hands on your head, please.
- What?
115
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:45,205
I said put your motherfucking hands
on your head! Please.
116
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,207
Eighty-two in a 25.
117
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,793
What are you gonna tell me,
you're late or just tired?
118
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:51,795
- I was...
- Shut the fuck up!
119
00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,803
- Largeman.
- Kenny?
120
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,930
Holy shit!
121
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,932
Oh, man.
How you doing?
122
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,976
I'm... I'm great.
123
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,478
- Your mom just died!
- I know.
124
00:12:08,604 --> 00:12:11,481
- I mean, that's why you're home.
- Yeah. Yup.
125
00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:13,775
You're a cop, Kenny?
126
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:17,487
- Yeah, I know. I know.
- Why?
127
00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:20,657
I don't know. Couldn't think of
anything better to do.
128
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,659
No, but it's really cool
though, man.
129
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:25,078
People really
listen to you. I mean...
130
00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:27,080
they have to!
131
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:30,083
- Yo, and check this shit out. That's the safety.
- Oh, cool.
132
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:32,836
And plus, the benefits, man.
If I get shot, I'm like...
133
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,838
rich!
134
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:38,509
But, Kenny, the last time I saw you,
you were doing coke lines off a urinal.
135
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,053
No, I had to grow up, man.
136
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:44,598
It's time to grow up. Plus, I wasn't
making shit in that fish market.
137
00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:47,059
No one knew who I was,
couldn't get laid.
138
00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:49,228
It's a much better
situation for me, man.
139
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:55,025
Speaking of which,
um, how'd I do?
140
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,777
What do you mean?
141
00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:59,029
I don't know.
You know, just the whole...
142
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:01,365
You mean, like, as a cop?
143
00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:03,951
Yeah. The whole,
"Shut the fuck up!"
144
00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:07,329
Well, I thought you were a dick,
so I guess that's good.
145
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:10,165
Nice. So,
what the fuck, man?
146
00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:13,043
You're this huge movie star now?
I heard you did some...
147
00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:15,170
you played a big football player
or something.
148
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,422
- I didn't see it.
- It was just this thing...
149
00:13:17,548 --> 00:13:20,008
- Fucking De Niro and shit.
- What?
150
00:13:20,092 --> 00:13:22,010
- He's awesome.
- Yeah.
151
00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:24,012
- Deer Hunter?
- Yeah.
152
00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:26,598
Man, we should sit down
and we should talk...
153
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,977
because I've got some
really good ideas for movies.
154
00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:32,479
You could play me
and shit. Poof!
155
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,898
- Stories from the Force.
- Yeah.
156
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:37,484
Yeah, definitely. That sounds good.
157
00:14:00,424 --> 00:14:02,342
- Holy shit!
- What's up?
158
00:14:02,426 --> 00:14:04,344
- How you doing, man?
- How you doing, man?
159
00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:06,763
- What's up?
- Hey, how you doing? Good to see you.
160
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:10,893
Get this guy a beer. This guy does not
wait for a beer. He's a movie star.
161
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:13,145
Like, uh, Jersey's
De Niro and shit.
162
00:14:15,439 --> 00:14:18,859
- Largeman, man, what are you doing home?
- I, uh...
163
00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:21,278
Press junket.
164
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,864
That's phat, yo.
Fuck, yeah!
165
00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:27,326
Serpico and shit.
"Attica!"
166
00:14:27,451 --> 00:14:30,370
Shut the fuck up, man.
167
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:34,374
You like that?
168
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:37,336
Like, uh,
"press junket"?
169
00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:40,214
That's improv, bitch.
You can use it. Right?
170
00:14:40,339 --> 00:14:42,257
Okay. Let me
show you something.
171
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:50,891
Largeman! Oh, whoa!
What's going on, man?
172
00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:54,561
How you been?
Hey!
173
00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:57,272
- Jess. How are you, brother?
- How's it going, man?
174
00:14:57,356 --> 00:15:00,234
I haven't seen you in so long.
I heard you're kicking ass.
175
00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:03,820
Oh, um, basically the man
bought my silent Velcro patent.
176
00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:06,532
- What?
- I developed this little item.
177
00:15:06,657 --> 00:15:08,867
It's just like Velcro,
but it doesn't make that...
178
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:11,578
the Velcro noise.
179
00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:14,456
- So how much did they buy it for?
- A lot, man.
180
00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:17,459
Wow. So wh-what are you
doing with yourself?
181
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,545
Um, nothing.
Nothing.
182
00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:21,588
I've never been so bored
in my whole life.
183
00:15:21,713 --> 00:15:24,716
Yeah. First month I went out.
I bought a whole bunch of shit.
184
00:15:24,842 --> 00:15:26,760
But, y...
Nothing.
185
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,558
Someone got
a joint for me?
186
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,964
Here you go.
187
00:16:06,091 --> 00:16:08,635
Oh. No, thanks, man.
188
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:12,264
Really? I thought you were
a big movie star and shit.
189
00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,683
- Nah.
- Well, then here.
190
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:17,519
Eat this.
191
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,813
Welcome home.
192
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:33,368
I guess I'll see you guys later.
193
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:37,498
Should we
play a game?
194
00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:41,251
Let's play
"spin the bottle."
195
00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:44,880
I'm not playing "spin the bottle."
How old are we?
196
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,841
- Or more importantly, how old are they?
- Oh, they're all legal.
197
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,843
I think.
198
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:52,221
Well, wejust ate
all this fucking "X,"
199
00:16:52,304 --> 00:16:55,015
so what the hell else
are we supposed to do?
200
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:57,518
Girl has a point.
201
00:16:57,643 --> 00:17:00,979
- Fucking right.
- I'm in!
202
00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,380
- Hey!
- Large!
203
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:13,260
Large!
204
00:18:18,432 --> 00:18:21,935
- Largeman, this is Dana.
- Hi.
205
00:18:22,019 --> 00:18:24,730
Hi.
206
00:18:24,855 --> 00:18:27,065
Who's up?
207
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,720
Whoo!
208
00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:07,272
This is gonna be a good night.
209
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,808
It's good, isn't it?
210
00:20:28,604 --> 00:20:31,815
I always try to save a couple
of the marshmallows till the very end...
211
00:20:31,899 --> 00:20:33,901
but I never make it.
212
00:20:33,984 --> 00:20:35,903
I always end up with...
213
00:20:35,986 --> 00:20:38,280
a bunch of flake things
and pink milk.
214
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:41,909
My mind wanders.
215
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,955
So, Tim...
216
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:50,459
How long have you been
working at Medieval Times?
217
00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:54,254
Three years. B-But I've
only been a knight for two.
218
00:20:54,338 --> 00:20:56,340
You have to
pay your dues.
219
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:59,676
I worked in the stables
and helped in the kitchen.
220
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:01,929
When I started,
he was making the coleslaw.
221
00:21:02,054 --> 00:21:04,306
It hasn't been the same
since you got knighted.
222
00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:06,308
But I really
just stirred it.
223
00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:08,393
Don't be modest.
224
00:21:08,519 --> 00:21:10,854
Mr. Modesty won
the joust last night.
225
00:21:10,938 --> 00:21:15,275
- Congratulations.
- It's not that big a deal. It's fixed.
226
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:18,278
What was it that happened
to you in high school?
227
00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:20,280
You had a thing.
I forgot what it was.
228
00:21:20,405 --> 00:21:22,783
- He got the shit kicked out of him.
- No, he didn't.
229
00:21:22,908 --> 00:21:26,537
How do you know? He got the shit
kicked out of him by Tyrell Freedmen.
230
00:21:26,662 --> 00:21:29,414
- I fucked him up too.
- He knocked your teeth out.
231
00:21:29,498 --> 00:21:31,834
He only chipped one tooth.
232
00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:36,547
So, uh, w-what are you
up to now, Mark?
233
00:21:36,672 --> 00:21:38,549
You're digging graves?
234
00:21:43,178 --> 00:21:45,180
Mark's getting into
real estate.
235
00:21:50,352 --> 00:21:52,938
- Tim can speak Klingon.
- What?
236
00:21:53,063 --> 00:21:54,940
- No, I can't.
- Yes, you can.
237
00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:57,234
- What the fuck is Klingon?
- Like the Star Trek guys?
238
00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,945
- Yeah, he can speak their language.
- No, she's kidding.
239
00:22:00,070 --> 00:22:02,281
No, I'm not.
Why are you being shy?
240
00:22:02,406 --> 00:22:04,908
- Yeah, don't be shy, Tim.
- It's just... It's made-up.
241
00:22:04,992 --> 00:22:07,953
This guy who plays the wizard
at work is a Trekkie. I don't...
242
00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:11,206
- Don't be shy. Tell them
what you said to me last night.
- No.
243
00:22:11,331 --> 00:22:13,959
Say what you said
to her last night.
244
00:22:19,256 --> 00:22:20,924
You gotta be kidding me.
245
00:22:21,049 --> 00:22:24,011
It means, "I like to
mate after battle."
246
00:22:24,094 --> 00:22:26,096
- That's not what I said.
- Yeah.
247
00:22:26,221 --> 00:22:28,182
No. No. That wasn't
the one I said.
248
00:22:28,265 --> 00:22:30,225
This one means,
"Kill Kirk"...
249
00:22:30,309 --> 00:22:33,937
and also "Hallelujah,"
depending on the context.
250
00:22:34,062 --> 00:22:36,356
You must have got it
confused with, uh...
251
00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:42,654
- Honey, that is good.
- You know what that means, Tim?
252
00:22:42,779 --> 00:22:45,657
Well, I do. It means,
"Get the fuck out of my house...
253
00:22:45,782 --> 00:22:47,659
before I chop
your fucking head off."
254
00:22:55,751 --> 00:22:58,128
Mark, he's a knight.
255
00:22:58,212 --> 00:23:00,964
He's just a fast-food knight.
256
00:23:03,383 --> 00:23:05,302
I should get going.
257
00:23:17,022 --> 00:23:18,941
Thanks, uh,
for the cereal.
258
00:23:19,024 --> 00:23:22,069
I had a lovely evening.
259
00:23:22,152 --> 00:23:24,571
By the way, it says
"balls" on your face.
260
00:23:26,782 --> 00:23:29,660
- Asshole.
- My mom did it.
261
00:23:33,372 --> 00:23:35,541
In the spring...
262
00:23:35,666 --> 00:23:39,962
the hungry gator must find
new and clever ways to find food.
263
00:23:44,758 --> 00:23:47,594
Did you tell Large
about... the tapes?
264
00:23:47,719 --> 00:23:50,389
No, Mom. I'm not doing
those stupid tapes.
265
00:23:50,472 --> 00:23:52,432
- What are the tapes?
- Real estate tapes.
266
00:23:52,516 --> 00:23:56,270
You can make up to
$100,000 your first year.
267
00:23:56,353 --> 00:23:58,856
You should have seen the boat
this Oriental guy had.
268
00:23:58,981 --> 00:24:02,150
He even had his own game show in China,
he had so much money.
269
00:24:02,276 --> 00:24:04,278
I think Mark would be
perfect at it.
270
00:24:04,403 --> 00:24:07,573
Ma, shut up about those fuckin' tapes.
Okay? It's a scam.
271
00:24:07,656 --> 00:24:11,368
Well, I'm doing it.
I'm saving up for those tapes.
272
00:24:11,493 --> 00:24:12,744
Because I know what you could be
if you just apply yourself.
273
00:24:12,744 --> 00:24:14,288
Because I know what you could be
if you just apply yourself.
274
00:24:14,371 --> 00:24:17,374
You know what?
I do apply myself every day, Mom.
275
00:24:17,499 --> 00:24:20,586
I work my ass off
burying dead people. Okay?
276
00:24:20,711 --> 00:24:23,547
I'm only 26. I'm not in any rush.
What's your rush for?
277
00:24:25,424 --> 00:24:28,135
Just let me be.
I don't rush you.
278
00:24:30,762 --> 00:24:33,307
Okay. Then I'll
do 'em myself.
279
00:24:33,432 --> 00:24:36,268
Fine. Do 'em.
280
00:24:36,393 --> 00:24:40,272
Okay, then I won't
let you on my yacht.
281
00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:43,525
Except Large. Large, you can
come anytime you want.
282
00:24:43,650 --> 00:24:47,112
Just don't bring
your friend here.
283
00:24:49,198 --> 00:24:51,825
Shit! I got to go
to my meeting.
284
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,162
Okay.
285
00:24:57,456 --> 00:24:59,374
I love you.
286
00:25:00,584 --> 00:25:03,003
- I love you too.
- I love you.
287
00:25:06,089 --> 00:25:09,259
- Large, it was nice to see you.
- Nice to see you too.
288
00:25:09,384 --> 00:25:12,012
Oh. Oh, you guys,
don't stay in here all day...
289
00:25:12,137 --> 00:25:14,973
'cause I took the batteries out of
the carbon monoxide detector.
290
00:25:15,098 --> 00:25:17,476
It was beeping all night.
291
00:25:20,395 --> 00:25:22,523
She drives me crazy!
292
00:25:22,648 --> 00:25:25,984
She gets all baked out and makes me
feel like I have to impress her.
293
00:25:26,109 --> 00:25:28,028
And you know what?
294
00:25:28,111 --> 00:25:30,614
I'm okay with being unimpressive.
I sleep better.
295
00:25:32,241 --> 00:25:36,036
- Hey, what time is it?
- No idea.
296
00:25:36,161 --> 00:25:38,080
I gotta go.
297
00:25:42,626 --> 00:25:44,837
Hi, I'm Andrew Largeman.
I'm sorry.
298
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:48,048
- I'm really late for my appointment.
- Andrew. Andrew.
299
00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:51,635
Okay, Andrew. I'm gonna need you
to fill out this paperwork for me.
300
00:25:51,718 --> 00:25:53,887
As soon as we're ready,
we'll call you in.
301
00:25:53,971 --> 00:25:56,348
- Okay. Thank you. I'm sorry.
- It's okay. Have a seat.
302
00:25:56,473 --> 00:25:58,350
- Hello, Miss Lubin.
- Oh, hello there.
303
00:25:58,475 --> 00:26:00,978
Just have a seat.
We'll be with you soon, okay?
304
00:26:01,103 --> 00:26:03,313
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
305
00:26:27,087 --> 00:26:29,006
How's it going?
306
00:26:31,758 --> 00:26:33,802
Get off.
307
00:26:33,927 --> 00:26:35,804
Get off.
308
00:26:44,438 --> 00:26:47,357
Heel.
309
00:26:47,482 --> 00:26:50,777
Heel!
310
00:26:54,281 --> 00:26:56,909
Got any suggestions?
311
00:26:57,034 --> 00:26:58,952
Oh, what?
312
00:26:59,077 --> 00:27:02,206
- You got any suggestions?
- Yeah, kick his balls.
313
00:27:03,832 --> 00:27:05,751
Kick his balls.
314
00:27:07,711 --> 00:27:11,423
Yeah, but I don't wanna destroy
future generations of charitable dogs.
315
00:27:11,548 --> 00:27:13,467
Don't worry about it.
I got three Dobermans.
316
00:27:13,550 --> 00:27:16,970
If I didn't kick them in the balls regularly,
I'd never get anything done.
317
00:27:17,095 --> 00:27:19,056
But he's gotta be close
to finishing by now.
318
00:27:19,181 --> 00:27:21,058
Not yet.
319
00:27:21,183 --> 00:27:23,310
Here comes the lipstick.
320
00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:25,687
Mrs. Lubin?
We're ready for you now.
321
00:27:25,812 --> 00:27:28,690
Okay. Come on, Arthur.
322
00:27:34,905 --> 00:27:37,366
I feel so used.
323
00:27:37,449 --> 00:27:41,245
Thanks for your help.
For, at least, your good intentions.
324
00:27:42,913 --> 00:27:45,749
- I recognize you.
- Oh, did you go to Columbia High?
325
00:27:45,874 --> 00:27:48,168
No, not from high school.
From TV.
326
00:27:48,293 --> 00:27:50,921
- Didn't you play the retarded quarterback?
- Yeah.
327
00:27:51,046 --> 00:27:53,048
Are you
really retarded?
328
00:27:54,466 --> 00:27:56,343
No, I'm not.
329
00:27:56,468 --> 00:27:58,595
Cool.
330
00:27:58,679 --> 00:28:02,307
Great job, man. I mean,
I thought you were really retarded.
331
00:28:02,432 --> 00:28:05,602
You're just as good as that Corky kid,
and he's actually retarded.
332
00:28:05,686 --> 00:28:07,855
If there was some
sort of retarded Oscar...
333
00:28:07,980 --> 00:28:11,525
you would win like
hands down, kick his ass.
334
00:28:11,650 --> 00:28:14,361
Well, thank you.
Thanks, I appreciate it.
335
00:28:14,444 --> 00:28:16,905
I have to fill out
this form though, so...
336
00:28:17,030 --> 00:28:18,907
- Right on.
- Thanks.
337
00:28:23,620 --> 00:28:26,206
My cousin's an actor.
Jake Ryan Winters.
338
00:28:26,290 --> 00:28:28,208
Doubt you've ever
heard of him.
339
00:28:28,292 --> 00:28:32,713
He was, like, on Xena once as a gnome
or something. That's really cool though.
340
00:28:32,796 --> 00:28:35,257
Thanks.
341
00:28:36,675 --> 00:28:38,594
Oh, my God.
342
00:28:38,677 --> 00:28:40,596
That scene.
That last scene...
343
00:28:40,679 --> 00:28:42,973
where you give the speech
to the whole stadium...
344
00:28:43,056 --> 00:28:45,851
and your dad... oh, your dad
gives you the thumbs up.
345
00:28:45,976 --> 00:28:48,854
Aw. That was, like...
346
00:28:48,979 --> 00:28:50,898
That was emotional.
347
00:28:52,399 --> 00:28:54,401
So, you got
anything else coming out?
348
00:28:54,484 --> 00:28:56,737
No. You know,
I'm auditioning...
349
00:28:56,820 --> 00:28:58,739
I can't believe
you're not really retarded.
350
00:28:58,864 --> 00:29:00,741
I mean, Jake's not
a very good actor.
351
00:29:00,866 --> 00:29:03,911
You can't really tell on Xena
'cause he's in the hairy gnome suit...
352
00:29:04,036 --> 00:29:07,581
but when we were little, he used to
put on these really, really low-budge...
353
00:29:07,664 --> 00:29:09,958
renditions of Andrew Lloyd Webber
musicals in our attic.
354
00:29:10,042 --> 00:29:13,003
And they were awful!
355
00:29:13,128 --> 00:29:15,339
Like, so bad.
356
00:29:17,299 --> 00:29:20,844
It sucks, though, because there's not
that much work for little people, you know?
357
00:29:20,969 --> 00:29:23,430
Anyway, I'm talking too much.
358
00:29:23,514 --> 00:29:26,266
I'll just...
You got to fill out your forms.
359
00:29:26,391 --> 00:29:28,477
What are you
listening to?
360
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,562
The Shins.
361
00:29:30,646 --> 00:29:33,023
- You know them?
- No.
362
00:29:33,106 --> 00:29:36,443
You gotta hear this one song.
It'll change your life. I swear.
363
00:29:36,568 --> 00:29:40,113
Oh, I'm sorry. You have to...
You gotta fill out your forms.
364
00:29:40,239 --> 00:29:42,115
Conundrum.
Think you could, uh...
365
00:29:42,241 --> 00:29:45,577
- maybe listen while you fill out your forms?
- I think I can handle it.
366
00:29:45,661 --> 00:29:47,621
Yeah? Okay.
367
00:30:14,064 --> 00:30:15,941
It's good.
I like it.
368
00:30:18,193 --> 00:30:21,238
- So, what are you here for?
- What are you here for?
369
00:30:21,321 --> 00:30:23,448
Waiting for a friend. You?
370
00:30:24,825 --> 00:30:26,743
I, uh...
371
00:30:26,827 --> 00:30:29,246
Oh, fuck, that was nosy.
I'm sorry.
372
00:30:29,329 --> 00:30:32,958
I am so nosy. I didn't...
I didn't mean to be. I'm sorry.
373
00:30:33,083 --> 00:30:36,295
No, I just... I get these headaches.
I just want to have it checked out.
374
00:30:36,378 --> 00:30:38,380
Cool.
375
00:30:38,505 --> 00:30:40,382
- Andrew Largeman?
- Yes.
376
00:30:40,507 --> 00:30:43,844
- We're ready for you now.
- Oh, okay.
377
00:30:43,927 --> 00:30:46,847
- Thank you. Nice meeting you.
- You didn't. I'm Sam.
378
00:30:46,930 --> 00:30:48,557
Andrew.
379
00:30:48,682 --> 00:30:52,102
Nice to meet you.
Good luck with your head.
380
00:30:52,227 --> 00:30:54,146
Thanks.
381
00:30:55,606 --> 00:30:57,900
Don't worry, Sam.
We'll be with you next.
382
00:31:27,429 --> 00:31:30,474
- Mr. Andrew Largeman?
- Yes, hi.
383
00:31:30,557 --> 00:31:32,684
- There's absolutely nothing wrong with you.
- What?
384
00:31:32,768 --> 00:31:35,812
Just kidding.
How would I know that? Uh...
385
00:31:36,897 --> 00:31:39,316
I'm Dr. Cohen.
386
00:31:41,485 --> 00:31:43,570
What can we do
for you today, Andrew.
387
00:31:44,947 --> 00:31:47,324
Um, I've been getting these
really intense headaches.
388
00:31:47,449 --> 00:31:50,661
Um, they last for
like a split second.
389
00:31:50,786 --> 00:31:54,623
It's like lightning, like a surge
of electricity, and then it's gone.
390
00:31:58,418 --> 00:32:00,379
Lithium?
391
00:32:00,462 --> 00:32:02,506
How long have you been
on the lithium?
392
00:32:02,631 --> 00:32:07,135
Um, I've been on some form of it
since I was 10 or so.
393
00:32:09,429 --> 00:32:12,224
And the Paxil,
Zoloft, Celexa...
394
00:32:12,349 --> 00:32:14,268
Depakote...
395
00:32:14,393 --> 00:32:16,895
did they, uh,
help you at all?
396
00:32:16,979 --> 00:32:18,897
No.
397
00:32:20,023 --> 00:32:22,025
I mean,
I don't know. Uh...
398
00:32:22,109 --> 00:32:25,445
It's recently occurred to me I might not
even have a problem.
399
00:32:25,571 --> 00:32:29,992
Only, I'd never know it because as far back
as I can remember, I've been medicated.
400
00:32:30,075 --> 00:32:32,327
I left them
in L.A. Though.
401
00:32:32,411 --> 00:32:36,665
This is, uh, the first time I haven't had
medicine in my body for... a long time.
402
00:32:36,748 --> 00:32:39,334
You know that stuff will
leave your body pretty fast.
403
00:32:39,418 --> 00:32:43,881
- I can write you a prescription.
- Actually, I was thinking about
taking a little vacation.
404
00:32:43,964 --> 00:32:46,258
Have you discussed this
with your psychiatrist?
405
00:32:46,383 --> 00:32:49,720
Uh, well,
my psychiatrist is my dad.
406
00:32:51,346 --> 00:32:54,391
Yeah. So I think he'd
prefer me to stay on it.
407
00:32:54,516 --> 00:32:57,728
He... likes to think
it makes me happy.
408
00:32:59,646 --> 00:33:02,900
You know, our bodies are capable
of doing some very funny things...
409
00:33:02,983 --> 00:33:05,360
when they're consumed
with stress and anxiety.
410
00:33:06,487 --> 00:33:08,197
Uh...
411
00:33:08,322 --> 00:33:13,160
I found my ex-best friend's
cuff links in my wife's purse.
412
00:33:15,787 --> 00:33:18,415
I couldn't get an erection
for a year and a half...
413
00:33:18,540 --> 00:33:20,417
for example.
414
00:33:22,211 --> 00:33:25,547
Wow. Um...
415
00:33:25,631 --> 00:33:28,467
But I don't really think
that's it because I don't...
416
00:33:28,592 --> 00:33:31,929
I don't really feel like
stressed or anxious at all.
417
00:33:32,054 --> 00:33:35,766
'Cause all the lithium he's had you on.
It's amazing you can even hear me now.
418
00:33:38,018 --> 00:33:40,270
Look, Andrew, uh,
first of all...
419
00:33:40,354 --> 00:33:43,815
I think you do need to find
a psychiatrist that isn't your father.
420
00:33:43,941 --> 00:33:46,735
That's something that should have
been remedied years ago.
421
00:33:46,818 --> 00:33:48,737
He knows better.
422
00:33:48,821 --> 00:33:51,824
And secondly, uh, I'm in
no position to comment on...
423
00:33:51,949 --> 00:33:55,536
whether you should stay on the meds or not
because I don't know your story.
424
00:33:55,661 --> 00:33:59,623
But my opinion,
since you're paying for it...
425
00:33:59,706 --> 00:34:03,335
is that, yeah, those drugs may help you
as a means to an end...
426
00:34:03,418 --> 00:34:06,129
but sooner or later, if you're not
in some sort of therapy...
427
00:34:06,255 --> 00:34:10,467
whatever's going on in your mind will find
a way to peek its little head out of the water.
428
00:34:10,592 --> 00:34:12,719
- Are you all right?
- Yeah.
429
00:34:12,845 --> 00:34:14,888
Yeah, you're all right.
You're alive.
430
00:34:15,013 --> 00:34:17,850
Come on.
I'll take a look at you. Come.
431
00:34:20,310 --> 00:34:23,772
I'll need you to take your shoes off.
I have to scratch your feet.
432
00:34:56,805 --> 00:34:59,099
So why were you
really there?
433
00:34:59,183 --> 00:35:01,226
Charging.
I'm a robot.
434
00:35:02,769 --> 00:35:06,315
- Do you lie a lot?
- What do you consider a lot?
435
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,400
Enough for people
to call you a liar.
436
00:35:08,525 --> 00:35:12,029
- People call me lots of things.
- Is one of them "liar"?
437
00:35:12,154 --> 00:35:15,032
I could say no, but how would
you know I'm not lyin'?
438
00:35:15,115 --> 00:35:17,618
I guess I could choose
to trust you.
439
00:35:17,701 --> 00:35:20,204
- You can do that?
- I can try.
440
00:35:20,287 --> 00:35:22,581
Whose bike is that?
441
00:35:24,708 --> 00:35:26,919
It was my grandfather's.
442
00:35:27,044 --> 00:35:31,548
It was the only thing he left to anyone
in my family, and he left it to me.
443
00:35:31,632 --> 00:35:33,634
And I like it.
444
00:35:36,178 --> 00:35:40,557
So this is the point in the conversation
where you ask me if I'd like a ride home.
445
00:35:40,641 --> 00:35:42,809
- It is?
- Yep.
446
00:35:45,103 --> 00:35:46,980
Would you like a ride home?
447
00:35:49,525 --> 00:35:53,153
Fine. But I'm not
getting in that sidecar.
448
00:35:53,237 --> 00:35:55,948
- Why not?
- Sidecars are for bitches.
449
00:35:56,031 --> 00:35:58,784
Anyone who rides in that
is automatically your bitch.
450
00:35:58,909 --> 00:36:01,453
Thus, I will ride
on the back.
451
00:36:09,753 --> 00:36:11,630
- Whoa.
- Hold on tight.
452
00:36:11,755 --> 00:36:13,799
Okay. Holdin'.
453
00:36:17,427 --> 00:36:19,596
My hair is blowin'
in the wind.
454
00:36:24,434 --> 00:36:26,353
What, are you
like a hang glider?
455
00:36:26,436 --> 00:36:28,897
My boyfriend was gonna
pick me up so I brought it.
456
00:36:29,022 --> 00:36:32,484
- But then he couldn't.
- What does he have? One of those tandem things?
457
00:36:32,568 --> 00:36:35,320
No. He drives a Ninja.
Goes way faster than this guy.
458
00:36:35,404 --> 00:36:38,866
- But what kind of helmet is that?
- You can wear it on a bike.
459
00:36:38,991 --> 00:36:41,535
- Anyway, how's your head?
- I should live through the day.
460
00:36:41,618 --> 00:36:43,537
Cool.
Make a right here.
461
00:36:48,292 --> 00:36:51,086
Are you doing
anything right now?
462
00:36:51,211 --> 00:36:54,298
- Can you elaborate on "doing anything"?
- I know this guy, Jesse.
463
00:36:54,423 --> 00:36:56,425
He bought this mansion
that's right up here...
464
00:36:56,550 --> 00:36:58,468
and he wants me
to come visit him.
465
00:36:58,552 --> 00:37:02,764
But I don't want to stay very long.
I was thinking, like if you came too...
466
00:37:02,848 --> 00:37:06,268
I could just say I have to take you home
when I'm ready to go.
467
00:37:06,351 --> 00:37:09,521
Wow. That's pretty damn
random of you, Andrew.
468
00:37:09,646 --> 00:37:12,107
- I know.
- "Nice to meet you. Can I use you?"
469
00:37:12,191 --> 00:37:14,193
- No.
- It's the Hollywood in you, I guess.
470
00:37:14,318 --> 00:37:16,737
No. Come on.
It's not like that. It'll be fun.
471
00:37:16,862 --> 00:37:20,073
I'll tell you what, we can have like...
like a signal.
472
00:37:20,199 --> 00:37:23,202
Like, when you pull on your ear,
that's the code.
473
00:37:23,327 --> 00:37:27,331
And then I'll be like, "Oh, I got to
take her home." And then we'll go.
474
00:37:28,999 --> 00:37:31,084
Can we have
code names too?
475
00:37:31,168 --> 00:37:33,629
If you want.
476
00:37:33,712 --> 00:37:36,632
Okay. But don't try
and like kidnap me or anything...
477
00:37:36,715 --> 00:37:40,636
'cause my step-uncle's a bounty hunter
and he could have you tracked and killed.
478
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:42,846
You're such a liar.
479
00:37:45,349 --> 00:37:47,226
Whoo!
480
00:37:48,769 --> 00:37:51,021
Okay. You ready?
481
00:38:12,209 --> 00:38:15,128
I'll be fine. Am I the first boy
you've ever brought home?
482
00:38:15,254 --> 00:38:17,172
No. But, um...
483
00:38:17,297 --> 00:38:20,425
I lied to you before when I told you
my boyfriend drives a Ninja.
484
00:38:20,509 --> 00:38:23,554
- He doesn't drive a bike?
- No, I don't have a boyfriend.
485
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,432
But, you know,
he might drive a Ninja.
486
00:38:27,516 --> 00:38:30,686
- Wherever he is.
- Wow. We're off to a great start.
487
00:38:30,811 --> 00:38:34,982
Okay. So...
So sometimes I lie.
488
00:38:35,065 --> 00:38:37,776
I mean,
I'm weird, man.
489
00:38:37,901 --> 00:38:40,904
About random stuff too.
I don't even know why I do it.
490
00:38:41,029 --> 00:38:42,906
It's like...
It's like a tic.
491
00:38:43,031 --> 00:38:47,452
I mean, sometimes I hear myself
say something, and then I think...
492
00:38:47,578 --> 00:38:50,038
"Wow, that wasn't even
remotely true."
493
00:38:50,122 --> 00:38:52,708
So how do people know
what's real?
494
00:38:52,791 --> 00:38:56,837
Well, I always feel bad afterwards
and admit them when they're lies.
495
00:38:58,046 --> 00:38:59,965
Can you trust that?
496
00:39:00,048 --> 00:39:03,093
Open the door.
497
00:39:04,845 --> 00:39:06,054
Okay.
498
00:39:06,054 --> 00:39:06,972
Okay.
499
00:39:11,059 --> 00:39:13,562
Kevin, down.
Mom!
500
00:39:13,687 --> 00:39:16,523
Come on. Kick him in the balls.
Kick him in the balls.
501
00:39:16,607 --> 00:39:18,817
Mom!
502
00:39:18,942 --> 00:39:21,820
All right! Everybody down!
Who wants to eat?
503
00:39:21,945 --> 00:39:25,157
Do you want to eat?
Then get the fuck off him.
504
00:39:25,282 --> 00:39:27,910
Kevin!
Get off!
505
00:39:28,035 --> 00:39:31,330
I'm so sorry. Wejust don't have
the time to train them.
506
00:39:31,455 --> 00:39:33,624
Who's got the time
to train them?
507
00:39:33,749 --> 00:39:36,460
- Mom, this is Andrew.
- Welcome.
508
00:39:36,543 --> 00:39:38,462
Welcome.
I'm sorry the place is a wreck.
509
00:39:38,545 --> 00:39:41,924
Honey, I asked you to get
the metal wheel out of the hamster cage.
510
00:39:42,007 --> 00:39:44,927
- I forgot.
- Well, you forgot and now Jelly's dead.
511
00:39:45,010 --> 00:39:47,179
Luckily, I got Peanut Butter out in time.
512
00:39:47,262 --> 00:39:49,723
We have to get
the only hamsters on planet Earth...
513
00:39:49,806 --> 00:39:51,975
who can't figure out
a stupid hamster wheel.
514
00:39:52,059 --> 00:39:54,186
There's a tin box
on the kitchen counter.
515
00:39:54,311 --> 00:39:56,855
You can do the honors.
I have to get to work.
516
00:39:56,980 --> 00:39:58,982
- It's nice to meet you. Andrew, right?
- Yes.
517
00:39:59,107 --> 00:40:01,401
Andrew.
Very nice to meet you.
518
00:40:01,485 --> 00:40:04,071
Samatha, put the clothes
in the dryer and buryJelly.
519
00:40:07,616 --> 00:40:09,910
So this is it.
520
00:40:18,669 --> 00:40:20,838
- It's nice.
- No, it's not.
521
00:40:20,963 --> 00:40:23,674
Don't say that just 'cause
you can't think of anything else.
522
00:40:23,799 --> 00:40:26,134
I'm not. I'm not.
It's... It's very cozy.
523
00:40:26,218 --> 00:40:28,720
You guys are a little early
on the tree though.
524
00:40:28,804 --> 00:40:32,766
Yeah, we never got around to taking it down.
When it got to be fall again...
525
00:40:32,891 --> 00:40:34,768
we figured,
"Just leave it up."
526
00:40:34,893 --> 00:40:38,146
Oh, my God. You're totally freaked out.
You're totally freaked out right now.
527
00:40:38,272 --> 00:40:41,400
- You, like, can't wait to leave.
- I'm not. I'm not. I like it.
528
00:40:41,525 --> 00:40:44,153
- It's very nice.
- Well, you wanna see my room?
529
00:40:44,278 --> 00:40:46,155
Sure.
530
00:40:47,197 --> 00:40:49,116
- Hey.
- Hey.
531
00:40:49,199 --> 00:40:52,286
Titembay, this is my friend Andrew.
Andrew, this is my brother, Titembay.
532
00:40:52,369 --> 00:40:55,914
- Hi. It's very nice to meet you.
- Oh, it's nice to meet you.
533
00:40:55,998 --> 00:40:58,125
- I'm sorry aboutJelly.
- Oh, that's okay.
534
00:40:58,208 --> 00:41:00,836
I saved some mac and cheese for you.
It's in the fridge.
535
00:41:00,961 --> 00:41:02,963
Thank you.
536
00:41:06,925 --> 00:41:10,387
Anyway, I'm late for class.
It's nice meeting you.
537
00:41:10,470 --> 00:41:13,265
- Very nice to meet you.
- See you later.
538
00:41:16,768 --> 00:41:18,645
So here we are.
539
00:41:18,770 --> 00:41:21,899
It's nothing fancy,
but you know... What?
540
00:41:23,650 --> 00:41:26,236
Uh, it's... Titembay, right?
541
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:29,114
Yeah, it's weird, huh?
You're, like, so freaked out right now.
542
00:41:29,198 --> 00:41:32,493
You're running for the door. It's okay.
You can go. Don't feel bad. It's really...
543
00:41:32,618 --> 00:41:34,578
- Stop doing that.
- What?
544
00:41:34,661 --> 00:41:37,998
The whole thing you just did. I wanna be here.
If I didn't, I wouldn't be.
545
00:41:38,123 --> 00:41:40,834
Trust me, my family is way more
fucked up than yours. Okay?
546
00:41:40,959 --> 00:41:42,586
Okay.
547
00:41:42,711 --> 00:41:45,547
So, Titembay.
548
00:41:45,672 --> 00:41:49,384
- Yeah, he's my brother.
- Is he adopted or...
549
00:41:49,510 --> 00:41:52,513
Kind of. My mom adopted him
from Sally Struthers like years ago.
550
00:41:52,596 --> 00:41:56,266
One of those "For the cost
of a cup of coffee a day" sort of things.
551
00:41:56,391 --> 00:41:59,895
Where she's like, "How can you
just sit there and not help the children?"
552
00:42:00,020 --> 00:42:03,398
And we couldn't. We just couldn't sit there
and not help the children.
553
00:42:03,482 --> 00:42:06,819
So we start sending him like
pictures and letters and stuff for years...
554
00:42:06,944 --> 00:42:10,697
but then I got really into ice-skating,
so we sort of forgot about him.
555
00:42:10,823 --> 00:42:13,826
Then one day we get this phone call
and it's Titembay.
556
00:42:13,951 --> 00:42:16,161
And he's at the dry cleaners
around the corner.
557
00:42:16,245 --> 00:42:18,997
And he's like, "I'm at Rutgers.
I live in the dorms...
558
00:42:19,081 --> 00:42:22,543
but I'm used to living with my tribe
so I'd rather live with a family."
559
00:42:22,668 --> 00:42:25,087
And he's been living
with us ever since.
560
00:42:25,212 --> 00:42:27,631
Wow.
561
00:42:27,714 --> 00:42:30,676
Yeah. I know.
He's the most amazing guy.
562
00:42:30,759 --> 00:42:34,596
You gotta hear his stories. He struggled
through so much because he wanted to learn.
563
00:42:34,721 --> 00:42:36,849
When I think of what
he's accomplished, I just...
564
00:42:36,932 --> 00:42:38,892
I just feel,
like, lazy. You know?
565
00:42:38,976 --> 00:42:41,812
He's studying criminal justice at Rutgers,
and when he was a baby...
566
00:42:41,937 --> 00:42:45,190
he was one of those kids with,
like, the flies all over his face.
567
00:42:46,525 --> 00:42:48,819
Wow.
568
00:42:48,944 --> 00:42:50,821
I mean,
i-it's a crazy story.
569
00:42:50,946 --> 00:42:54,825
Yeah, I know. I mean, that's a true story.
I am not that good.
570
00:42:55,993 --> 00:42:58,495
This is Tickle.
571
00:42:58,620 --> 00:43:02,916
- What is Tickle?
- Tickle's my favorite thing in the whole world.
572
00:43:03,041 --> 00:43:06,003
It's all that's left
of Nanny, my blanket.
573
00:43:06,086 --> 00:43:08,297
- Tickle's all that remains.
- Mm-hmm.
574
00:43:08,422 --> 00:43:10,841
- Was there like a hurricane or something?
- Shut up.
575
00:43:10,924 --> 00:43:14,303
No, I mean, I've had this
since I was a baby.
576
00:43:14,428 --> 00:43:17,139
It's what they brought me home
in from the hospital.
577
00:43:18,432 --> 00:43:21,435
- It's like the Wailing Wall.
- What?
578
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:23,896
Uh, the Wailing Wall
is like this, uh...
579
00:43:23,979 --> 00:43:27,566
It's like the most holy place
forJews to go and pray in Israel.
580
00:43:27,649 --> 00:43:32,321
It's all that's left of this enormous temple
that was destroyed by the Romans.
581
00:43:32,446 --> 00:43:35,240
So you're like
reallyJewish.
582
00:43:35,365 --> 00:43:37,242
- What?
- You are, aren't you?
583
00:43:37,367 --> 00:43:39,453
- You are.
- No, I'm not.
584
00:43:39,536 --> 00:43:41,455
L-I'm Jewish,
but I'm not reallyJewish.
585
00:43:41,538 --> 00:43:44,333
I don't do anything Jewish.
I don't go to temple or anything.
586
00:43:44,416 --> 00:43:46,668
But I don't know anyJews
that go to temple.
587
00:43:46,752 --> 00:43:48,879
TheJews I know,
they go on one day.
588
00:43:49,004 --> 00:43:52,007
- It's Yom Kippur, the Day of Repentance.
- Okay.
589
00:43:52,090 --> 00:43:54,927
Did you know that most temples
are built with moveable walls...
590
00:43:55,010 --> 00:43:58,388
so that on the one day of the year
when everyone comes to repent...
591
00:43:58,472 --> 00:44:01,225
they can actually make the room
big enough to hold everyone?
592
00:44:01,308 --> 00:44:03,936
I don't really
believe in God.
593
00:44:04,019 --> 00:44:06,772
- Just Tickle.
- Oh, I believe in Tickle.
594
00:44:08,899 --> 00:44:11,443
- We're not gonna make out or anything.
- What?
595
00:44:11,527 --> 00:44:14,321
I'm sorry.
I just totally ruined that moment, didn't I?
596
00:44:14,446 --> 00:44:17,074
- No, no.
- It's just that we're not gonna make out, okay?
597
00:44:17,199 --> 00:44:19,326
- Oh, no, I hadn't planned on trying...
- Oh, my...
598
00:44:19,409 --> 00:44:21,954
I am so lame.
That was like really... I am...
599
00:44:22,037 --> 00:44:24,206
I'm sorry.
Forget I just said that. I am...
600
00:44:24,331 --> 00:44:26,250
That was dumb. And...
601
00:44:26,375 --> 00:44:29,545
- You know what I do
when I feel completely unoriginal?
- What?
602
00:44:34,299 --> 00:44:37,886
I make a noise or I do something
that no one has ever done before.
603
00:44:37,970 --> 00:44:41,765
And then I can feel unique again
even if it's only for like a second.
604
00:44:41,890 --> 00:44:44,518
So, no one's
ever done that?
605
00:44:44,643 --> 00:44:48,730
No, not in this spot. No. You just witnessed
a completely original moment in history.
606
00:44:48,856 --> 00:44:51,316
- It's refreshing. You should try it.
- Oh, no. Thanks.
607
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:54,153
- No, come on.
- I think that was good enough for both of us.
608
00:44:54,236 --> 00:44:56,405
Come on.
What are you, shy?
609
00:44:56,530 --> 00:44:58,824
This is your one opportunity
to do something...
610
00:44:58,907 --> 00:45:03,370
that no one has done before and that no one
will copy again throughout human existence.
611
00:45:03,453 --> 00:45:07,875
A-And if nothing else, you'll be remembered
as the one guy who ever did this.
612
00:45:07,958 --> 00:45:09,877
This one thing.
613
00:45:12,045 --> 00:45:14,548
Uh...
614
00:45:19,303 --> 00:45:21,180
How was that?
615
00:45:21,305 --> 00:45:23,515
Oh, I've done
that one before.
616
00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:25,017
So, uh...
617
00:45:25,017 --> 00:45:25,976
So, uh...
618
00:45:26,101 --> 00:45:29,062
I gotta go bury this hamster
before the dogs eat him.
619
00:45:29,188 --> 00:45:31,857
Wanna help? Hmm?
620
00:45:43,202 --> 00:45:46,497
- Wow.
- Yeah.
621
00:45:46,580 --> 00:45:48,749
- I mean, this is, uh...
- I know.
622
00:45:48,874 --> 00:45:51,919
It's not that we're bad
pet owners or anything.
623
00:45:52,044 --> 00:45:55,964
It's just, you know, we've had
so many of them over the years.
624
00:45:56,048 --> 00:45:58,300
Besides,
a lot of these are fish.
625
00:45:58,425 --> 00:46:00,511
After you.
626
00:46:08,685 --> 00:46:11,313
All right.
627
00:46:14,107 --> 00:46:16,026
Sit down.
628
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,202
What are you
thinking about?
629
00:46:26,829 --> 00:46:29,039
- Now?
- Yeah.
630
00:46:29,122 --> 00:46:32,167
- Right now?
- Yeah.
631
00:46:32,292 --> 00:46:36,129
Right now, I was thinking I've been
going to a lot of these things lately.
632
00:46:36,213 --> 00:46:38,632
- What, dates?
- Not dates.
633
00:46:38,757 --> 00:46:41,760
Is this a date?
This isn't a date.
634
00:46:41,885 --> 00:46:43,846
Funerals.
635
00:46:43,971 --> 00:46:45,889
Why? Who else died?
636
00:46:47,683 --> 00:46:49,935
Oh, uh...
637
00:46:50,018 --> 00:46:53,939
That's why I'm home actually. I guess
I haven't even told you that yet. Um...
638
00:46:58,193 --> 00:47:00,279
My mom just died.
639
00:47:05,367 --> 00:47:08,495
God, that's weird
to say that out loud, but, uh...
640
00:47:09,663 --> 00:47:12,499
My mom just died.
And, uh...
641
00:47:12,624 --> 00:47:15,127
Yeah, that's why I'm home.
642
00:47:15,252 --> 00:47:17,629
I'm so sorry.
643
00:47:17,713 --> 00:47:19,756
God, I'm so sorry.
644
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:22,718
And here I am, like, putting you
through another one of these.
645
00:47:22,843 --> 00:47:24,761
Not thatJelly's like
anywhere near your mom's.
646
00:47:24,845 --> 00:47:27,639
I mean,
we loved Jelly but...
647
00:47:27,723 --> 00:47:29,641
I'm so sorry.
648
00:47:29,725 --> 00:47:32,477
No, it's okay.
It's all right.
649
00:47:32,561 --> 00:47:34,521
I'm all right with it.
650
00:47:34,605 --> 00:47:37,274
Anyway, I think it's
what she wanted, so...
651
00:47:37,399 --> 00:47:39,776
How'd she die?
652
00:47:41,403 --> 00:47:43,363
She drowned actually.
653
00:47:46,283 --> 00:47:48,785
Yeah, my, uh...
My mother was a paraplegic.
654
00:47:48,869 --> 00:47:51,413
She was in a wheelchair
so she, uh...
655
00:47:51,497 --> 00:47:53,624
You know, and, uh...
656
00:47:53,749 --> 00:47:55,834
I guess she was
taking a bath...
657
00:47:55,959 --> 00:47:57,920
and she must have
slipped or something.
658
00:47:58,045 --> 00:48:01,006
That's what they say.
I don't... I don't know. But...
659
00:48:01,089 --> 00:48:03,133
needless to say,
she drowned and...
660
00:48:03,217 --> 00:48:06,220
that's how she...
sh-she died.
661
00:48:06,345 --> 00:48:08,722
When?
662
00:48:08,847 --> 00:48:11,225
This was, uh...
663
00:48:12,267 --> 00:48:14,228
Sunday.
664
00:48:14,311 --> 00:48:16,605
Oh, my God.
665
00:48:22,194 --> 00:48:24,071
Why are you crying?
666
00:48:26,114 --> 00:48:28,116
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
667
00:48:29,451 --> 00:48:31,662
Because... I'm not
usually like this.
668
00:48:31,787 --> 00:48:36,250
It's just like...
It's just so sad.
669
00:48:36,375 --> 00:48:38,961
You know, it's like...
670
00:48:39,044 --> 00:48:41,922
It's so tragic, isn't it?
It is. It's like...
671
00:48:42,005 --> 00:48:45,843
It's like real life
tragedy or something.
672
00:48:45,968 --> 00:48:48,887
Anyway, let's change
the subject, okay?
673
00:48:49,012 --> 00:48:51,098
Let's really bring
the focus back toJelly...
674
00:48:51,223 --> 00:48:54,309
'cause what could be ruder than talking
about someone else who died...
675
00:48:54,393 --> 00:48:57,062
when you're in the act of
burying a close friend?
676
00:48:57,187 --> 00:49:01,400
- Well, what should we do?
- I don't know. I've only been
to one of these things.
677
00:49:01,483 --> 00:49:03,610
You appear to be
the expert.
678
00:49:03,735 --> 00:49:06,572
Well, we usually
say something.
679
00:49:06,655 --> 00:49:09,449
Okay, uh,
I'll go first. Um...
680
00:49:11,118 --> 00:49:14,538
Didn't really know you, Jelly.
From what I hear, you were a good pet.
681
00:49:14,663 --> 00:49:17,082
- Little trouble with the wheel but...
- That's not funny.
682
00:49:23,005 --> 00:49:24,965
Jelly, you were
a great pet.
683
00:49:27,259 --> 00:49:30,345
I'm sorry I forgot to take
the wheel out of your cage.
684
00:49:30,429 --> 00:49:33,182
I'm so, so sorry
about that.
685
00:49:34,224 --> 00:49:36,768
Good-bye.
686
00:49:36,894 --> 00:49:39,021
I hope that you liked me.
687
00:50:22,439 --> 00:50:24,566
Holy shit! You scared
the shit out of me.
688
00:50:24,691 --> 00:50:27,778
- Why are you always doing that?
- I haven't seen you in a while.
689
00:50:27,903 --> 00:50:30,280
I know. I've been catching up
with people around here.
690
00:50:30,405 --> 00:50:33,867
Dr. Cohen called.
There's nothing wrong with you.
691
00:50:33,992 --> 00:50:37,120
Yeah, I think I'm starting
to figure that out myself.
692
00:50:37,246 --> 00:50:40,999
- When are you thinking of leaving?
- Uh, probably tomorrow.
693
00:50:41,083 --> 00:50:45,254
Um, you know, I got a lot of stuff
I got to take care of in L.A.
694
00:50:45,379 --> 00:50:48,799
- Probably have to find a newjob, so...
- We need to talk.
695
00:50:50,092 --> 00:50:52,886
Yeah, uh, how?
I mean, when?
696
00:50:54,012 --> 00:50:56,598
What are you
doing... now?
697
00:50:58,392 --> 00:51:02,271
Uh, now's not so good. I told my friend Mark
I was gonna meet up with him.
698
00:51:02,354 --> 00:51:04,314
But how about, uh,
like later tonight?
699
00:51:04,439 --> 00:51:07,693
- Okay. Then we'll talk.
- Yeah.
700
00:51:07,776 --> 00:51:09,862
We owe that
to each other.
701
00:51:10,988 --> 00:51:12,865
Yeah.
702
00:51:12,990 --> 00:51:14,992
We owe it to her.
703
00:51:16,451 --> 00:51:18,871
Yeah.
704
00:51:18,996 --> 00:51:20,873
Good.
705
00:51:20,998 --> 00:51:22,916
Sorry I scared you.
706
00:51:25,752 --> 00:51:28,005
How could you
leave all that lithium?
707
00:51:28,130 --> 00:51:30,757
I was totally going to
hit you up for some, man.
708
00:51:30,883 --> 00:51:34,219
This fucking guy.
I'm glad you're back, man.
709
00:51:34,303 --> 00:51:38,056
This town is so messed up.
Everyone's got their drug of choice.
710
00:51:38,182 --> 00:51:41,310
It's like in Brave New World.
You ever read that book?
711
00:51:41,435 --> 00:51:45,731
Who wrote that?
Um, Aldous... Aldous something.
712
00:51:45,814 --> 00:51:48,859
Aldous, uh...
Anyway...
713
00:51:48,984 --> 00:51:53,405
there's like Alphas and Betas
and Epsilons and all sorts of people.
714
00:52:06,919 --> 00:52:09,379
Huxtable.
715
00:52:09,463 --> 00:52:13,717
Aldous Huxtable.
That's it, bro.
716
00:52:26,104 --> 00:52:29,775
Andrew, would you like
to see Sam's ice-skating tape?
717
00:52:29,900 --> 00:52:31,693
- Mom, no.
- Absolutely.
718
00:52:31,819 --> 00:52:35,197
She was so ahead of her time.
She could have gone to the Olympics.
719
00:52:35,322 --> 00:52:37,282
No, no, no, no.
I couldn't have.
720
00:52:37,407 --> 00:52:39,660
Yes, you could have.
Don't blame it on the epilepsy.
721
00:52:39,743 --> 00:52:43,372
- You had a gift.
- Come on. Let me see it.
722
00:52:43,497 --> 00:52:47,251
Let's just show him the "Florida Stars
of the Ice"opening. The gator costume.
723
00:52:47,376 --> 00:52:51,505
- Mom, I'm asking you, seriously.
- Come on. Don't be shy. Let me see it!
724
00:52:51,588 --> 00:52:55,843
Oh, she wants you to see it. How could you
not want him to see how talented you are?
725
00:52:55,926 --> 00:52:59,263
- Were.
- Come on.
726
00:52:59,388 --> 00:53:01,890
- Come on.
- Ohh!
727
00:53:03,976 --> 00:53:06,603
- Honey, what are you doing?
- I'm dusting for prints.
728
00:53:06,728 --> 00:53:08,939
Well, could we move
the crime scene into the kitchen?
729
00:53:09,022 --> 00:53:10,941
I want to show Andrew
Sam's skating.
730
00:53:11,024 --> 00:53:14,486
But someone's been pissing on my GameCube,
and I'm about to close the case.
731
00:53:14,570 --> 00:53:16,613
It wasn't me, Your Honor.
732
00:53:16,738 --> 00:53:19,199
The paw prints
point to a canine. Hmm.
733
00:53:19,324 --> 00:53:21,493
Andrew, come on.
Sit down here on the couch.
734
00:53:21,577 --> 00:53:24,496
I can't believe you're
actually showing him this.
735
00:53:27,791 --> 00:53:30,002
Look, there she is.
736
00:53:43,182 --> 00:53:47,269
- You're the alligator?
- You can tell by the hands.
737
00:54:10,751 --> 00:54:14,296
- Here comes the double axel.
- And...
738
00:54:14,421 --> 00:54:18,759
- Land! Oh, I mean, come on. Is she good?
- Wow, she's great.
739
00:54:22,387 --> 00:54:25,432
- All right.
- Wow.
740
00:54:25,516 --> 00:54:28,811
- Shut up.
- No, I mean, your mom was right.
You're really good.
741
00:54:30,687 --> 00:54:33,315
- This is awesome, but we gotta go.
- All right.
742
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:35,651
- Just wanted to show how talented you are.
- Mom, come on!
743
00:54:35,776 --> 00:54:37,528
My baby!
All right, go on!
744
00:54:37,653 --> 00:54:40,531
Go on. Get away.
Wait a minute.
745
00:54:40,656 --> 00:54:42,825
Gimme a hug.
746
00:54:42,908 --> 00:54:45,327
I love you so much.
I'm so proud of you.
747
00:54:45,410 --> 00:54:47,454
- I love you too.
- Have a good night.
748
00:54:47,579 --> 00:54:49,998
- Thanks for dinner.
- Come on! You're giving me a hug too.
749
00:54:50,082 --> 00:54:52,876
- Mom! Come on.
- I'll take a hug.
750
00:55:01,468 --> 00:55:04,513
- Good night. See you later, Tim.
- Bye, Tim.
751
00:55:04,638 --> 00:55:07,599
Peace out, player.
752
00:55:07,724 --> 00:55:10,769
I don't know. It was
the only thing I ever liked doing.
753
00:55:10,853 --> 00:55:13,147
Pretending
to be someone else.
754
00:55:13,230 --> 00:55:17,401
I've been so out of it lately, the only parts
I get offered are playing handicapped people.
755
00:55:17,526 --> 00:55:19,486
That is not funny.
756
00:55:19,570 --> 00:55:21,947
Oh, come on.
You gotta see that's a joke.
757
00:55:22,030 --> 00:55:25,951
If you can't laugh at yourself, life's gonna seem
a whole lot longer than you'd like.
758
00:55:26,076 --> 00:55:28,078
All right, so what are
we laughing at you about?
759
00:55:28,203 --> 00:55:31,707
Mm.
I lied again.
760
00:55:31,790 --> 00:55:35,878
- I have epilepsy.
- Which part are we laughing about?
761
00:55:37,087 --> 00:55:39,631
I, um...
762
00:55:39,756 --> 00:55:42,009
I had a seizure at
the law office where I work.
763
00:55:42,134 --> 00:55:45,470
And they told me their insurance wouldn't
cover me unless I wore preventative covering.
764
00:55:45,554 --> 00:55:50,225
- What's preventative covering?
- The helmet I was wearing.
765
00:55:50,309 --> 00:55:52,227
Oh, come on!
766
00:55:52,352 --> 00:55:54,229
That's funny.
That's really funny.
767
00:55:54,354 --> 00:55:56,607
I mean, I'm the only person
who wears a helmet to work...
768
00:55:56,690 --> 00:56:01,320
who isn't, like, putting out fires,
or, like, racing for NASCAR.
769
00:56:01,445 --> 00:56:05,032
Well, what do you do? I mean,
I can't quit. Their insurance is amazing.
770
00:56:05,157 --> 00:56:07,576
What do you do?
You laugh, you know?
771
00:56:07,701 --> 00:56:12,206
I'm not saying I don't cry.
But in-between, I laugh.
772
00:56:12,331 --> 00:56:15,375
And I realize how silly it is
to take anything too seriously.
773
00:56:17,127 --> 00:56:20,255
Plus, I look forward
to a good cry.
774
00:56:20,380 --> 00:56:22,299
Feels pretty good.
775
00:56:24,218 --> 00:56:27,471
I haven't cried since
I was a little kid.
776
00:56:27,596 --> 00:56:31,725
I didn't cry at my mother's funeral.
I tried, you know?
777
00:56:31,850 --> 00:56:33,977
I thought of all the saddest
things I could think of.
778
00:56:34,102 --> 00:56:37,898
Like, things in movies, this...
779
00:56:38,023 --> 00:56:40,359
There's this image from Life magazine
that's always haunted me.
780
00:56:40,442 --> 00:56:43,028
I just focused in on it,
you know?
781
00:56:43,111 --> 00:56:45,823
But nothing came.
782
00:56:45,906 --> 00:56:47,866
That actually made me
sadder than anything...
783
00:56:47,950 --> 00:56:50,410
the fact that
I just felt so numb.
784
00:56:50,536 --> 00:56:53,247
- What do you mean?
- Just that...
785
00:56:53,330 --> 00:56:56,416
Hey, Vagina!
786
00:56:56,542 --> 00:57:01,755
Hey, what's up, guys? Uh, Sam,
that's Mark, Dave and you rememberJesse.
787
00:57:01,839 --> 00:57:03,841
- Hey.
- What's up?
788
00:57:03,966 --> 00:57:06,927
Hey, nice to meet you. I'm sorry
I said "vagina"just now.
789
00:57:07,052 --> 00:57:09,179
- I didn't know you were here.
- Oh, that's okay.
790
00:57:09,304 --> 00:57:14,059
Nice. Let's get fucked up.
791
00:57:15,310 --> 00:57:19,398
One, two, three! Whoo!
792
00:57:25,154 --> 00:57:28,824
- What are you doing?
- Largeman, get the fuck in the pool!
793
00:57:28,907 --> 00:57:31,326
It's so warm!
794
00:57:31,410 --> 00:57:33,829
Can't you swim?
795
00:57:33,954 --> 00:57:35,998
Of course I can swim.
796
00:57:54,224 --> 00:57:57,311
Dude, maybe you should stay on the steps.
I don't know C.P.R.
797
00:57:58,562 --> 00:58:02,065
You look like a wet beaver.
798
00:58:16,330 --> 00:58:19,666
There's a handful
of normal kid things I kind of missed.
799
00:58:19,791 --> 00:58:23,545
There's a handful of normal
kid things I kind of wish I'd missed.
800
00:58:25,380 --> 00:58:29,009
You know that point in your life when
you realize the house you grew up in...
801
00:58:29,134 --> 00:58:31,011
isn't really
your home anymore.
802
00:58:31,136 --> 00:58:34,765
All of a sudden, even though you have
some place where you put your shit...
803
00:58:34,848 --> 00:58:37,351
that idea of home is gone.
804
00:58:39,728 --> 00:58:42,981
I still feel at home
in my house.
805
00:58:43,065 --> 00:58:47,569
You'll see one day when you move out.
Just sorta happens one day, and it's gone.
806
00:58:47,694 --> 00:58:51,240
You feel like you
can never get it back.
807
00:58:51,365 --> 00:58:54,201
It's like you feel homesick
for a place that doesn't even exist.
808
00:58:57,454 --> 00:58:59,915
Maybe it's like
this rite of passage, you know?
809
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:03,794
You won't ever have that feeling again until
you create a new idea of home for yourself.
810
00:59:03,877 --> 00:59:07,089
You know, for... For your kids.
For the family you start.
811
00:59:07,172 --> 00:59:09,675
It's like a cycle
or something.
812
00:59:11,385 --> 00:59:14,346
I don't know. But I miss
the idea of it, you know?
813
00:59:17,891 --> 00:59:21,436
Maybe that's all
family really is.
814
00:59:21,562 --> 00:59:24,731
A group of people that miss
the same imaginary place.
815
00:59:35,284 --> 00:59:37,286
Maybe.
816
00:59:49,631 --> 00:59:52,134
How about some
fuckin' furniture, dude?
817
00:59:52,217 --> 00:59:54,803
I bought a chair,
but I didn't like it.
818
00:59:54,887 --> 00:59:57,014
- Where is it?
- It's keeping us warm.
819
01:00:06,106 --> 01:00:09,568
Silent Velcro.
820
01:00:10,777 --> 01:00:13,280
You lucky motherfucker.
821
01:00:13,405 --> 01:00:16,909
I feel like if I had showed up at school
and presented the idea of silent Velcro...
822
01:00:17,034 --> 01:00:19,411
they would have sent me away
a whole lot sooner.
823
01:00:19,495 --> 01:00:23,123
- Why did they send you away?
- Oh. Listen to this girl.
824
01:00:23,207 --> 01:00:26,418
- They didn't "send me away."
- You just said they sent you away.
825
01:00:26,502 --> 01:00:28,837
I mean, they sent me away.
They sent me to boarding school.
826
01:00:28,962 --> 01:00:31,381
"Sent me away" sounds like
I went to some asylum or something.
827
01:00:31,507 --> 01:00:35,135
- There were no straps involved.
- Why did they send you to boarding school?
828
01:00:36,553 --> 01:00:38,805
They sent me to
boarding school because...
829
01:00:38,889 --> 01:00:41,141
they thought
I might be dangerous.
830
01:00:42,726 --> 01:00:45,020
"Oh, are you freaked out?
You're like running for the door.
831
01:00:45,103 --> 01:00:47,397
- You can go. It's okay. Don't feel bad."
- That's really funny.
832
01:00:47,523 --> 01:00:49,983
It's really funny.
833
01:00:50,108 --> 01:00:51,985
Why would they think
you'd be dangerous?
834
01:00:52,110 --> 01:00:54,655
You're like
a little detective.
835
01:00:54,780 --> 01:00:56,573
- Want to know?
- Yeah.
836
01:00:56,657 --> 01:00:59,535
You're gay.
837
01:00:59,660 --> 01:01:02,704
No. Drumroll.
838
01:01:08,710 --> 01:01:11,088
I was the reason
she was in a wheelchair.
839
01:01:12,214 --> 01:01:14,174
I pushed her.
840
01:01:15,551 --> 01:01:17,678
So there that is.
841
01:01:19,930 --> 01:01:22,224
- Shut up!
- Fuck off.
842
01:01:22,307 --> 01:01:25,561
- No. That's the truth.
- Why?
843
01:01:25,644 --> 01:01:27,855
It was just a complete
freak accident, you know?
844
01:01:27,938 --> 01:01:31,150
It's one of those things you replay
a million times in your head...
845
01:01:31,275 --> 01:01:34,987
and you see how clearly it was
just a complete freak thing.
846
01:01:35,112 --> 01:01:38,157
My-My whole life, she was
depressed for no reason.
847
01:01:38,282 --> 01:01:40,284
And... one day,
you know...
848
01:01:40,409 --> 01:01:42,744
I was a little kid.
I was nine years old...
849
01:01:42,828 --> 01:01:45,664
and I just
hated her for that.
850
01:01:45,747 --> 01:01:48,208
And... I pushed her.
851
01:01:48,333 --> 01:01:50,711
And it was innocent.
I was just completely frustrated.
852
01:01:50,836 --> 01:01:52,880
- 'Cause...
- 'Cause you couldn't make her happy?
853
01:01:53,005 --> 01:01:56,383
Yeah! Fuck, yeah!
And any other time, you know...
854
01:01:56,466 --> 01:02:00,095
any other day, she would havejust
yelled at me and sent me to my room.
855
01:02:00,220 --> 01:02:02,890
But this day...
856
01:02:02,973 --> 01:02:05,559
on this particular day...
857
01:02:05,684 --> 01:02:09,521
the door of the dishwasher...
858
01:02:09,605 --> 01:02:12,107
had fallen open...
the latch on it was broken.
859
01:02:12,232 --> 01:02:14,526
And it would just
randomly fall open.
860
01:02:14,651 --> 01:02:17,404
That fuckin' latch,
you know.
861
01:02:17,488 --> 01:02:22,326
It's really amazing how much of my life has been
determined by a quarter-inch piece of plastic.
862
01:02:22,409 --> 01:02:24,328
But...
863
01:02:24,411 --> 01:02:27,164
So, anyway, she, uh...
she fell back over the door...
864
01:02:27,247 --> 01:02:31,710
and, uh, hit her neck on the kitchen counter,
paralyzing her from the waist down.
865
01:02:34,129 --> 01:02:37,591
- Wow.
- Still want to compare fucked-up families?
866
01:02:37,674 --> 01:02:40,302
But your mom was in the wheelchair
long before you left.
867
01:02:40,427 --> 01:02:43,388
Yeah. Well, I was nine.
868
01:02:43,514 --> 01:02:46,558
So they sent me to therapy
and put me on these drugs...
869
01:02:46,642 --> 01:02:48,727
that were supposed to
"curb my anger,"
870
01:02:48,852 --> 01:02:51,772
and I've been on some
form of them ever since.
871
01:02:51,855 --> 01:02:56,443
And when I was 16, my psychiatrist dad
came around to the conclusion that...
872
01:02:56,568 --> 01:03:00,322
it probably wasn't the best environment
for me to be growing up in, so...
873
01:03:00,405 --> 01:03:02,449
he sent me to boarding school.
874
01:03:02,574 --> 01:03:05,077
- And I haven't been home since.
- Until now.
875
01:03:05,202 --> 01:03:08,831
- For her funeral.
- Till now for her funeral.
876
01:03:10,999 --> 01:03:13,502
I can't believe the retarded
quarterback's a pill-popper.
877
01:03:15,796 --> 01:03:17,756
- Jesse?
878
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:20,634
Where's the sauna?
879
01:03:20,759 --> 01:03:23,220
- I'll show her.
- No, I-I got it.
880
01:03:23,345 --> 01:03:25,597
- No, you get her a towel.
- Wait. Wait.
881
01:03:28,767 --> 01:03:31,520
Want a ride, sweetheart?
882
01:03:43,198 --> 01:03:45,409
You're in it
right now, aren't you?
883
01:03:45,534 --> 01:03:48,662
- What do you mean?
- My mom always says that when she can see...
884
01:03:48,787 --> 01:03:52,416
I'm, like, working something out in my head,
she's like, "You're in it right now."
885
01:03:52,541 --> 01:03:54,751
And I'm lookin' at you,
and you're...
886
01:03:54,877 --> 01:03:57,796
telling me
that story, and...
887
01:03:57,921 --> 01:04:00,048
you're definitely
in it right now.
888
01:04:01,425 --> 01:04:03,844
I think you're right.
I am in it.
889
01:04:06,805 --> 01:04:09,850
Okay. I mean, whatever. All right.
Can we just change the subject, okay?
890
01:04:09,975 --> 01:04:12,728
Let's just... Let's just
talk about good stuff.
891
01:04:12,811 --> 01:04:18,400
- Good stuff?
- Yeah, like "glass half-full" shit.
892
01:04:18,525 --> 01:04:22,321
- What do you got?
- Got a little buzz. Got that.
893
01:04:23,822 --> 01:04:26,033
- What you got?
- I got a little buzz goin'.
894
01:04:29,703 --> 01:04:31,663
And I like you.
895
01:04:39,213 --> 01:04:43,217
So there's that.
I guess I have that.
896
01:04:49,306 --> 01:04:51,767
I can tap-dance.
You want to see me tap-dance?
897
01:04:51,850 --> 01:04:54,061
I would love
to see you tap-dance.
898
01:06:18,353 --> 01:06:22,900
- What are you doing?
- You collect Desert Storm trading cards?
899
01:06:23,025 --> 01:06:25,527
Fuck yeah. Those things
are collector's items, man.
900
01:06:25,652 --> 01:06:28,363
You have any idea how much
those things are gonna be worth one day?
901
01:06:28,489 --> 01:06:31,116
- Really?
- Hell, yeah. That's just like an investment.
902
01:06:31,241 --> 01:06:33,202
I have lots of little investments
all over the place.
903
01:06:33,285 --> 01:06:36,246
One day I'm gonna sell all of'em
just fuckin' live off of it.
904
01:06:37,539 --> 01:06:39,541
So, like how much
is this one worth?
905
01:06:39,625 --> 01:06:43,837
- Which?
- "Night Vision Goggles."
906
01:06:43,962 --> 01:06:47,132
I don't know. Mint?
Uh, two, maybe three.
907
01:06:47,216 --> 01:06:49,259
- Dollars?
- Yeah.
908
01:06:49,384 --> 01:06:52,763
It's too early. You don't sell 'em yet.
Don't you know anything about investing?
909
01:06:52,846 --> 01:06:54,890
I'm gonna
live off that shit.
910
01:06:55,015 --> 01:06:57,559
If you have a complete set,
it's worth, like, thousands.
911
01:06:57,684 --> 01:07:01,313
- So do you have the complete set?
- Almost.
912
01:07:01,396 --> 01:07:05,025
The corners are bent on my "Friendly Fire,"
and someone stole my "Wolf Blitzer."
913
01:07:11,740 --> 01:07:14,743
Now, look.
Whaddya got to do today? 'Cause, uh...
914
01:07:14,868 --> 01:07:16,912
I got you a little
going-away present...
915
01:07:17,037 --> 01:07:21,458
but, uh, I gotta kind of
track it down first.
916
01:07:21,583 --> 01:07:26,088
- So can you give me a ride?
- Uh, yeah. I just, uh...
917
01:07:26,213 --> 01:07:30,509
- What?
- No, nothin'. I just, uh...
918
01:07:30,634 --> 01:07:33,136
Say it. Speak.
919
01:07:35,597 --> 01:07:38,475
I kinda told Sam I was gonna
hang out with her today.
920
01:07:38,559 --> 01:07:41,645
- So, uh...
- She can come. I don't care.
921
01:08:44,917 --> 01:08:46,877
I can't believe we're in
fucking Handi-World.
922
01:08:47,002 --> 01:08:48,879
I really don't want
to be in Handi-World.
923
01:08:49,004 --> 01:08:51,590
We're getting money
for your present. Don't look so guilty.
924
01:08:51,673 --> 01:08:54,718
- How do I look guilty?
- Andrew Largeman?
925
01:08:54,843 --> 01:08:56,762
- Oh, no. Benson.
- Oh, no.
926
01:08:56,887 --> 01:08:58,847
- Who is that?
- Just don't give him your number.
927
01:08:58,931 --> 01:09:01,058
Hey, man. What's up?
928
01:09:01,183 --> 01:09:03,060
- Holy shit!
- How's it goin'?
929
01:09:03,185 --> 01:09:06,146
- I haven't seen you since, like, junior year.
- Yeah.
930
01:09:06,230 --> 01:09:10,067
- I thought you killed yourself.
- What?
931
01:09:11,193 --> 01:09:13,111
I thought
you killed yourself.
932
01:09:13,237 --> 01:09:16,740
- That wasn't you?
- No, no. That wasn't me.
933
01:09:16,824 --> 01:09:20,327
- Who killed themselves?
- That was the Gleason kid.
934
01:09:20,452 --> 01:09:21,995
- Oh.
- Oh, and Tina.
935
01:09:22,120 --> 01:09:24,081
- Tina who?
- You remember Tina.
936
01:09:24,164 --> 01:09:26,959
- She was anorexic, did gymnastics...
- Oh, gymnastics Tina?
937
01:09:27,084 --> 01:09:30,170
- How'd she do it?
- I don't know. She wasn'tJewish. I didn't bury her.
938
01:09:30,295 --> 01:09:34,675
I think it was sleeping pills.
Or that car in the garage thing. I forgot.
939
01:09:37,719 --> 01:09:40,347
- Uh, sorry, this is Sam, Karl. Karl, Sam?
- Hey.
940
01:09:40,472 --> 01:09:42,891
- Hey.
- I gotta go find that thing.
941
01:09:42,975 --> 01:09:46,395
- Uh, you two stay here. I'll be right back.
- Is it heavy, or... Okay.
942
01:09:46,478 --> 01:09:50,816
- Hey, weren't you on a TV show or something?
- Yeah, it was just this show.
943
01:09:50,941 --> 01:09:53,110
So, uh, you're like
workin' here. That's cool.
944
01:09:53,235 --> 01:09:56,446
Only for a little while.
I'm opening my own business.
945
01:09:56,530 --> 01:09:58,532
Actually, I should
talk to you about it.
946
01:09:58,615 --> 01:10:01,410
I'm lookin' for smart people
like you, Large.
947
01:10:01,493 --> 01:10:05,873
- I should get your number.
- Yeah, definitely. That'd be... That'd be cool.
948
01:10:05,998 --> 01:10:08,458
I'd like to talk
to you... both...
949
01:10:08,542 --> 01:10:13,505
about a good opportunity
for you and your loved ones.
950
01:10:13,630 --> 01:10:15,757
We all have dreams.
I know I do!
951
01:10:15,883 --> 01:10:20,137
I'd like to talk to you about an exciting
opportunity that people are talking about.
952
01:10:20,220 --> 01:10:23,390
- We gotta get goin'.
- Oh, okay. It was good to see you, Karl.
953
01:10:23,474 --> 01:10:25,392
- Hey, I should get your number.
- Yeah, definitely.
954
01:10:25,476 --> 01:10:28,312
Well, I'll call you because
I think he has it in his book.
955
01:10:28,437 --> 01:10:30,314
Nice to meet you.
956
01:10:30,439 --> 01:10:33,275
Why is it always the losers that get
caught up in the pyramid schemes?
957
01:10:33,400 --> 01:10:36,778
Why can't it be some charming, hot girl
nagging you incessantly to buy some shit?
958
01:10:36,862 --> 01:10:40,324
- Is that what he's doin'?
- Yeah. It's detergent or some shit.
959
01:10:40,407 --> 01:10:43,452
Why are you buying knives?
I don't need knives.
960
01:10:43,577 --> 01:10:46,455
- I'd like to return these.
- You got a receipt?
961
01:10:46,538 --> 01:10:50,667
- Actually, no. They're a gift.
- Why are you returning these?
962
01:10:50,751 --> 01:10:54,004
- They're not sharp enough.
- They're not sharp enough?
963
01:10:54,087 --> 01:10:56,465
No. Not for what
we need them for.
964
01:10:56,548 --> 01:11:00,511
- They couldn't cut cans.
- You bought them to cut cans?
965
01:11:00,594 --> 01:11:03,931
No, but in the commercial,
it said if I wanted to cut cans, I could.
966
01:11:04,056 --> 01:11:06,975
- With these knives, I can't.
- It comes with a sharpener.
967
01:11:07,100 --> 01:11:12,147
- Did you try it?
- Yeah. They're just...
968
01:11:12,272 --> 01:11:15,734
- I don't want them. They're not sharp enough.
- Okay.
969
01:11:19,154 --> 01:11:22,533
A major loophole in the Handi-World
return policy is that they permit returns...
970
01:11:22,658 --> 01:11:25,577
without receipts
on items below $40.
971
01:11:25,661 --> 01:11:27,704
So, how often do you go?
972
01:11:27,830 --> 01:11:31,542
I hit every employee once,
and then I wait until they hire new ones.
973
01:11:31,667 --> 01:11:33,919
Luckily, nobody stays at
Handi-World for very long.
974
01:11:34,044 --> 01:11:37,339
- Except for Karl Benson.
- You know, Mark, it's my last day in town.
975
01:11:37,422 --> 01:11:40,092
- If you need money, I could loan you some.
- I don't need your money.
976
01:11:40,217 --> 01:11:43,387
- I'm making my own right now.
- Fuck, takeJesse's. The guy's a millionaire.
977
01:11:43,470 --> 01:11:45,806
I don't take anybody's money.
Okay, Andrew?
978
01:11:45,931 --> 01:11:47,975
I make my own.
Favors are bad news.
979
01:11:48,100 --> 01:11:51,436
The only thing worse than a favor
is a favor involving money. Okay?
980
01:11:53,105 --> 01:11:56,108
Let's go. I gotta see
a guy about a nitrous tank.
981
01:12:38,775 --> 01:12:42,654
- What is this place?
982
01:12:42,779 --> 01:12:45,282
I think you can see
into the hotel rooms.
983
01:12:54,041 --> 01:12:58,003
Oh, yeah!
Ohh! Ohh! Yeah!
984
01:13:13,477 --> 01:13:15,687
I'm gonna fuckin'cum!
985
01:13:19,233 --> 01:13:21,652
That shit was hot.
That shit was hot.
986
01:13:21,777 --> 01:13:24,279
I gotta go drop some knowledge
on that ho right there.
987
01:13:24,404 --> 01:13:26,990
How do you know
she's a hooker?
988
01:13:27,115 --> 01:13:29,243
Of course she's
a fuckin' hooker.
989
01:13:29,368 --> 01:13:32,329
Girls who look like her do not
fuck guys that look like him...
990
01:13:32,454 --> 01:13:34,706
unless it's for
coke, money or fame.
991
01:13:34,832 --> 01:13:37,918
Well, Julia Roberts
married Lyle Lovett.
992
01:13:38,043 --> 01:13:41,463
- Who the fuck are you?
- This is Sam. This is Large.
993
01:13:41,588 --> 01:13:44,842
No offense, man. But why are you
bringing these fuckin' people here?
994
01:13:44,925 --> 01:13:47,761
This is the guy who
needs that thing. Wait.
995
01:13:47,886 --> 01:13:50,889
I brought you
the tank. Okay?
996
01:13:50,973 --> 01:13:54,560
- Could you just tell us where to go now?
- That thing come with balloons?
997
01:13:54,643 --> 01:13:57,771
What am I, a fuckin' birthday clown?
No. It doesn't come with balloons.
998
01:13:57,855 --> 01:14:00,649
Suck it off the tap. And I need
it back when you're done...
999
01:14:00,732 --> 01:14:02,985
- because that guy's holdin' my 39 bucks.
- All right.
1000
01:14:03,068 --> 01:14:04,987
Hold up. Hold up!
1001
01:14:05,070 --> 01:14:07,447
Who here just
saw some titties?
1002
01:14:07,531 --> 01:14:12,202
Raise you hand if you
just saw some titties. Hmm?
1003
01:14:15,831 --> 01:14:18,876
Thank you! So everybody
just calm the fuck down!
1004
01:14:20,294 --> 01:14:23,714
Now. You know where
Kiernan's Quarry is?
1005
01:14:23,797 --> 01:14:26,508
- Down in Newark, right?
- Yeah.
1006
01:14:26,633 --> 01:14:28,719
It's at the bottom of
Hillside and Rivington.
1007
01:14:28,802 --> 01:14:31,263
You can't really see it
from the street, but it's there.
1008
01:14:31,346 --> 01:14:34,183
Park your car at the gate
and hop the fence.
1009
01:14:34,308 --> 01:14:38,896
At the bottom of the quarry, there's this
junkyard run by this guy named... Albert.
1010
01:14:39,021 --> 01:14:42,065
He's the one that tracked down
the piece you're lookin'for. All right?
1011
01:14:42,191 --> 01:14:44,651
I'll call him right now
and tell him to expect you.
1012
01:14:44,776 --> 01:14:47,738
Okay, stop. What
the fuck are we doin'?
1013
01:14:47,863 --> 01:14:49,948
- Just be patient, man.
- We've been patient all day...
1014
01:14:50,073 --> 01:14:52,367
but it's my last day and you haven't
told us what we're doin'.
1015
01:14:52,493 --> 01:14:55,204
If you told me we were going on a six-hour hunt
for blow, I would've passed.
1016
01:14:55,287 --> 01:14:59,416
If I was gonna get you coke, we would've gone
to the fuckin' high school football practice.
1017
01:14:59,541 --> 01:15:01,710
We would have been
rolling five hours ago.
1018
01:15:01,793 --> 01:15:03,795
I think we corrupted
this innocent girl enough.
1019
01:15:03,879 --> 01:15:07,216
- I'm not innocent!
- Yes, you are! All right?
That's what I like about you.
1020
01:15:07,299 --> 01:15:10,219
I don't want this guy taking you to,
like, some sketchy quarry...
1021
01:15:10,302 --> 01:15:13,305
in the middle of nowhere to find, like,
crack whores huffing turpentine...
1022
01:15:13,388 --> 01:15:16,934
or pit bulls raping each other
or whatever it is you have us doing!
1023
01:15:18,352 --> 01:15:22,105
Wow. That's like the most
worked-up I've ever seen you.
1024
01:15:22,189 --> 01:15:25,818
- He was protecting me.
- So?
1025
01:15:25,901 --> 01:15:29,071
- He likes me.
- Don't be cute.
1026
01:15:29,196 --> 01:15:31,490
He's my knight
in shining armor.
1027
01:15:31,573 --> 01:15:34,910
Don't talk about knights in front of Mark.
It's a sore subject.
1028
01:15:36,870 --> 01:15:40,499
- I'm gonna kill that motherfucker.
- Pun intended?
1029
01:15:40,624 --> 01:15:43,377
Oh, you're fuckin'...
1030
01:15:46,129 --> 01:15:48,715
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
1031
01:15:48,799 --> 01:15:50,801
Ow! Ow!
1032
01:15:52,886 --> 01:15:55,264
- Oh, my God.
- Wow!
1033
01:15:55,347 --> 01:15:57,349
I never even knew
this was here.
1034
01:15:57,432 --> 01:16:00,477
I've heard about it. They were
supposed to build a mall here, I think.
1035
01:16:00,602 --> 01:16:04,148
Yeah. I remember reading about that
in the paper, that they were...
1036
01:16:04,231 --> 01:16:07,067
digging or something, and they break
into this natural phenomenon.
1037
01:16:07,192 --> 01:16:09,528
It's like an underground
Grand Canyon or something.
1038
01:16:09,653 --> 01:16:13,073
Now they're in some huge legal battle
over whether they can build here or not.
1039
01:16:13,157 --> 01:16:17,161
Can you imagine the guy whose job it is
to fight for his right to build a mall...
1040
01:16:17,244 --> 01:16:19,538
on some, like, geological phenomenon?
1041
01:16:19,621 --> 01:16:22,666
They love their
malls here, man.
1042
01:16:22,791 --> 01:16:25,252
All right. Let's find
this guy and get out of here.
1043
01:16:25,335 --> 01:16:28,922
- You're not gonna tell us what we're getting?
- It's a surprise. You'll see.
1044
01:16:29,006 --> 01:16:31,758
I think it's gonna rain.
1045
01:16:36,513 --> 01:16:40,058
So this is it.
1046
01:16:40,184 --> 01:16:45,314
So knock! Knock and barter
for Desert Storm trading cards.
1047
01:16:45,397 --> 01:16:48,984
Don't tease me about my hobbies.
I don't tease you about being an asshole.
1048
01:16:51,028 --> 01:16:53,113
Okay!
1049
01:17:04,541 --> 01:17:06,502
- Mark?
- Yeah. Albert?
1050
01:17:07,669 --> 01:17:09,755
Come on in.
1051
01:17:13,342 --> 01:17:16,970
Oh, man. You guys
must be freezing.
1052
01:17:17,054 --> 01:17:20,224
Make yourselves warm by the fire.
I'm just gonna go put her down.
1053
01:17:20,349 --> 01:17:22,392
Okay? I'll be
right back out.
1054
01:17:28,357 --> 01:17:32,402
Ah, I must say, I'm continually impressed
with how each place you bring us...
1055
01:17:32,528 --> 01:17:35,864
- continues to be weirder and weirder.
- What do you mean? This is nice.
1056
01:17:35,948 --> 01:17:39,785
Oh, nothing. Just hangin' out on an old boat
at the bottom of a quarry in Newark.
1057
01:17:39,910 --> 01:17:42,037
It's hardly
the bottom, dude.
1058
01:17:42,120 --> 01:17:44,122
Did you check out
that cliff down there?
1059
01:17:44,206 --> 01:17:48,043
Hey! This is my wife, Faye.
1060
01:17:48,168 --> 01:17:50,587
Hi! Welcome.
1061
01:17:50,671 --> 01:17:53,799
Please. Have a seat.
Make yourselves comfortable.
1062
01:17:57,177 --> 01:17:59,680
Man, it's really
comin' down out there.
1063
01:17:59,805 --> 01:18:01,807
- It just started pouring all of a sudden.
- Well...
1064
01:18:01,932 --> 01:18:06,270
in a bad storm, I like to pretend that
this old boat's my own private ark.
1065
01:18:06,395 --> 01:18:09,439
Um, unfortunately,
if this is the apocalypse...
1066
01:18:09,565 --> 01:18:12,609
- I'm not quite sure it still floats.
- Yeah, I don't know.
1067
01:18:12,734 --> 01:18:16,405
- Listen, would anybody like some tea?
- I'd love some. Thank you.
1068
01:18:16,488 --> 01:18:19,449
Do you want some?
I'll be right back.
1069
01:18:20,826 --> 01:18:23,704
What is this place?
What is it that you do down here?
1070
01:18:23,787 --> 01:18:25,789
Well, we're calling it
Kiernan's Fault. It's, uh...
1071
01:18:25,914 --> 01:18:28,917
No one really knows what it is because
we haven't been able to explore it.
1072
01:18:29,001 --> 01:18:31,920
Meanwhile, while they're locked
in litigation, they hired me...
1073
01:18:32,004 --> 01:18:35,632
- to make sure no one comes inside.
- Wow.
1074
01:18:35,716 --> 01:18:39,553
But what they don't know is
that at night I climb down.
1075
01:18:39,678 --> 01:18:42,473
So, how deep does it go?
Thank you.
1076
01:18:42,556 --> 01:18:45,100
You know... Thank you.
No one really knows.
1077
01:18:45,225 --> 01:18:48,061
But I like to pretend
it's infinite.
1078
01:18:48,187 --> 01:18:50,856
It's kind of an odd job.
1079
01:18:50,939 --> 01:18:55,068
- Guardian of an infinite abyss.
- Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is.
1080
01:18:55,194 --> 01:18:57,654
But we also trade and deal
in antique jewelry.
1081
01:18:59,031 --> 01:19:02,951
I suppose it is odd that
we live down here like this.
1082
01:19:03,076 --> 01:19:05,996
- No.
- Not at all.
- Never crossed my mind.
1083
01:19:06,079 --> 01:19:09,458
Well,
we think it's important.
1084
01:19:09,541 --> 01:19:13,629
Why? What is it that you
think you're gonna find?
1085
01:19:13,754 --> 01:19:16,381
I guess I just like the idea
of discovering something.
1086
01:19:16,507 --> 01:19:19,718
Of doing something
that's completely unique...
1087
01:19:19,843 --> 01:19:21,845
that's never
been done before.
1088
01:19:21,929 --> 01:19:25,015
- "Albert's Abyss."
- Well, maybe. Who knows?
1089
01:19:25,098 --> 01:19:28,560
But, you know what?
That's all ego.
1090
01:19:28,644 --> 01:19:32,397
None of that really matters. If I get to be
with this person right here...
1091
01:19:32,523 --> 01:19:35,317
and our beautiful baby...
1092
01:19:36,401 --> 01:19:38,362
that's all I need.
1093
01:19:42,991 --> 01:19:46,620
Well, I suppose you want
what you came all the way down here for.
1094
01:19:46,703 --> 01:19:48,664
Oh, yeah.
That'd be great.
1095
01:19:48,789 --> 01:19:51,375
It took me a while
to track this piece down...
1096
01:19:51,500 --> 01:19:53,794
but I owed Diego huge.
1097
01:19:56,338 --> 01:19:58,215
That's it.
Thank you so much.
1098
01:19:58,340 --> 01:20:00,968
- Yeah.
- Really.
1099
01:20:01,051 --> 01:20:05,389
Good luck in the rain. Um, do you guys
want some garbage bags or something?
1100
01:20:07,099 --> 01:20:09,476
- Yeah.
- Okay. That'd be great.
1101
01:20:21,947 --> 01:20:23,866
Good-bye!
1102
01:20:25,033 --> 01:20:27,995
- Hey, Albert!
- Yeah?
1103
01:20:29,329 --> 01:20:31,582
Good luck exploring
the infinite abyss.
1104
01:20:31,665 --> 01:20:34,168
Thank you. Hey!
1105
01:20:36,587 --> 01:20:38,797
You too.
1106
01:21:51,703 --> 01:21:54,665
Whoo!
1107
01:22:49,928 --> 01:22:54,308
So, uh, I don't know if
I'm gonna see you, man.
1108
01:22:56,059 --> 01:22:58,520
Don't you want to know
what's in the bag?
1109
01:22:59,938 --> 01:23:02,441
To be honest, I don't even care anymore.
1110
01:23:09,323 --> 01:23:11,283
What is it?
1111
01:23:13,785 --> 01:23:16,205
It's my mom's
favorite necklace.
1112
01:23:16,330 --> 01:23:19,791
I'd be lying to you if I told you
it was my plan all along.
1113
01:23:19,917 --> 01:23:23,462
But... I got it back to you, right?
That's gotta be worth something.
1114
01:23:25,589 --> 01:23:27,716
This whole day
was about this?
1115
01:23:29,968 --> 01:23:32,137
You didn't want it
down there with her.
1116
01:23:32,262 --> 01:23:34,556
It's better it's with you.
1117
01:23:34,640 --> 01:23:36,266
Okay.
1118
01:23:40,437 --> 01:23:44,233
Hey! If you ever need a Kato,
you know where to find me.
1119
01:23:59,081 --> 01:24:02,334
It's funny. This, uh...
1120
01:24:02,417 --> 01:24:06,255
This necklace reminds me of this really
random memory of my mother.
1121
01:24:08,674 --> 01:24:12,761
I was a little kid, and I was cryin'
for one reason or another.
1122
01:24:12,845 --> 01:24:14,805
And, uh...
1123
01:24:18,142 --> 01:24:21,728
She was just like, you know, cradling me
and rocking me back and forth.
1124
01:24:21,854 --> 01:24:26,358
I can remember seeing the little balls
in this thing just floating back and forth.
1125
01:24:26,483 --> 01:24:28,443
And, uh...
1126
01:24:30,362 --> 01:24:33,782
And there was just, like,
snot dripping down my nose, right?
1127
01:24:33,907 --> 01:24:36,368
And, uh...
1128
01:24:36,451 --> 01:24:39,621
She gave me her sleeve...
1129
01:24:39,746 --> 01:24:42,583
and she told me
to blow my nose into it.
1130
01:24:48,088 --> 01:24:51,717
And I remember thinking,
even as a little kid, like...
1131
01:24:51,800 --> 01:24:53,802
"Wow!
1132
01:24:57,306 --> 01:24:59,975
This is love."
1133
01:25:02,936 --> 01:25:05,022
"This is love."
1134
01:25:06,273 --> 01:25:09,776
Large?
I think I see one.
1135
01:25:09,860 --> 01:25:12,362
- Shut up.
- Yeah, I do. Wait. Wait, wait.
1136
01:25:12,488 --> 01:25:14,823
We should save it
or something.
1137
01:25:17,075 --> 01:25:21,079
Okay. Don't move.
Okay.
1138
01:25:25,375 --> 01:25:28,587
We could put it in my scrapbook,
if I had a scrapbook.
1139
01:25:28,670 --> 01:25:32,758
- That it?
- I think so. I don't really feel any more coming.
1140
01:25:34,468 --> 01:25:37,429
Well, if you do, just let me know.
I'll get the cup, okay?
1141
01:25:38,806 --> 01:25:41,183
This was such a good idea.
1142
01:25:41,266 --> 01:25:43,685
- Who are you?
- I'm your new friend Sam.
1143
01:25:43,811 --> 01:25:46,188
Tissue?
1144
01:25:51,068 --> 01:25:53,529
Come here.
1145
01:26:02,830 --> 01:26:05,207
Fuck, this hurts so much.
1146
01:26:05,290 --> 01:26:07,251
Yeah, I know.
1147
01:26:08,335 --> 01:26:10,295
But that is life.
1148
01:26:11,880 --> 01:26:14,633
If nothing else,
that's life, you know.
1149
01:26:14,758 --> 01:26:19,179
It's real.
Sometimes it fuckin' hurts.
1150
01:26:21,598 --> 01:26:24,935
To be honest,
it's sort of all we have.
1151
01:26:33,735 --> 01:26:35,863
How are you feelin'?
1152
01:26:38,574 --> 01:26:40,534
Safe.
1153
01:26:43,036 --> 01:26:45,789
When I'm with you,
I feel so safe.
1154
01:26:48,125 --> 01:26:50,460
Like I'm home.
1155
01:27:33,295 --> 01:27:36,507
But did not make it.
The driver died on impact.
1156
01:27:36,632 --> 01:27:39,092
Dad.
1157
01:27:41,845 --> 01:27:44,223
- Come on in.
- I'm sorry I woke you up.
1158
01:27:44,348 --> 01:27:46,308
No, I was just reading.
1159
01:27:47,392 --> 01:27:49,311
Where have you been?
1160
01:27:51,063 --> 01:27:52,981
Everywhere.
1161
01:27:53,065 --> 01:27:55,859
Been on sort of a crazy journey
these last couple days.
1162
01:27:55,943 --> 01:27:58,028
You've been avoiding me.
1163
01:27:58,111 --> 01:28:00,823
No, I haven't been.
Come on.
1164
01:28:02,449 --> 01:28:06,036
Okay, maybe I have been.
1165
01:28:06,119 --> 01:28:11,041
I'm sure you can find
lots of things in your life...
1166
01:28:11,166 --> 01:28:13,043
that you can be
angry about.
1167
01:28:13,168 --> 01:28:17,339
But what I do not understand
is why you're so angry at me.
1168
01:28:17,422 --> 01:28:19,842
All I ever wanted was
for everyone to be happy again.
1169
01:28:19,967 --> 01:28:22,803
- That's all I ever wanted.
- When were we all ever happy, Dad?
1170
01:28:22,886 --> 01:28:24,805
You always say that,
but when was that?
1171
01:28:24,888 --> 01:28:26,890
When was this time
that we were all so happy?
1172
01:28:26,974 --> 01:28:30,727
'Cause I don't have it in my memory.
Maybe if I did, I could help steer us back there.
1173
01:28:30,853 --> 01:28:33,856
But I just...
1174
01:28:33,981 --> 01:28:36,150
You know, you and I need
to work on being okay...
1175
01:28:36,275 --> 01:28:38,152
if that's not
in the cards for us.
1176
01:28:40,779 --> 01:28:43,115
Well, we might
have a shot at it...
1177
01:28:43,198 --> 01:28:45,492
if you can forgive yourself
for what you did.
1178
01:28:47,077 --> 01:28:50,747
What I did.
What I did.
1179
01:28:50,831 --> 01:28:53,959
Okay, let's-let's do it.
Okay, we're here, right? Le-Let's do it!
1180
01:28:54,084 --> 01:28:56,336
I'm gonna forgive myself
for what I did. Are you ready?
1181
01:28:56,461 --> 01:29:00,132
I was a little boy, and
somebody made a shitty latch.
1182
01:29:00,215 --> 01:29:03,302
That's what I think. That's what
I think about the whole thing, okay?
1183
01:29:03,385 --> 01:29:06,972
And I'm not gonna take those drugs anymore.
They left me completely fuckin' numb.
1184
01:29:07,055 --> 01:29:10,726
I have felt so fucking numb to everything
I have experienced in my life, okay?
1185
01:29:10,851 --> 01:29:12,728
And for that...
1186
01:29:13,770 --> 01:29:16,064
For that, I'm here
to forgive you.
1187
01:29:17,941 --> 01:29:21,278
You always said all you wanted was for us
to have whatever it is we wanted.
1188
01:29:21,403 --> 01:29:24,781
Maybe what Mom wanted more than
anything was for it to all be over.
1189
01:29:28,160 --> 01:29:30,037
And for me...
1190
01:29:30,162 --> 01:29:33,832
what I want more than anything in the world
is for it to be okay with you...
1191
01:29:33,957 --> 01:29:35,918
for me to feel
something again.
1192
01:29:36,960 --> 01:29:38,921
Even if it's pain.
1193
01:29:40,881 --> 01:29:43,258
Well, you're going against
your doctor's recommendation.
1194
01:29:43,383 --> 01:29:46,178
That's a pretty weighty experiment
to take on, don't you think?
1195
01:29:51,558 --> 01:29:54,394
This is my life, Dad.
1196
01:29:54,478 --> 01:29:56,480
This is it.
1197
01:29:56,605 --> 01:29:58,732
I spent 26 years waiting for
something else to start.
1198
01:29:58,857 --> 01:30:01,235
So, no, no, I don't think
it's too much to take on...
1199
01:30:01,318 --> 01:30:03,237
because it's
everything there is.
1200
01:30:04,321 --> 01:30:06,406
I see now
it's all there is.
1201
01:30:10,452 --> 01:30:13,372
You and I are going to be okay.
You know that, right?
1202
01:30:19,837 --> 01:30:23,507
We may not be as happy as you always
dreamed we would be, but...
1203
01:30:27,970 --> 01:30:32,724
for the first time, let's just allow ourselves
to be whatever it is we are.
1204
01:30:35,561 --> 01:30:37,521
And that'll be better, okay?
1205
01:30:41,817 --> 01:30:44,528
I think that'll be better.
1206
01:31:04,798 --> 01:31:07,593
What are you
thinking about?
1207
01:31:07,718 --> 01:31:10,220
- You're not coming back, are you?
- Come on, Sam.
1208
01:31:10,304 --> 01:31:12,306
- Of course I am.
- No, you're not.
1209
01:31:12,431 --> 01:31:16,226
You don't realize this is good.
This doesn't happen often.
1210
01:31:16,310 --> 01:31:18,312
In your life, you know?
I mean, this...
1211
01:31:19,646 --> 01:31:21,899
We can work
this stuff out.
1212
01:31:21,982 --> 01:31:24,651
I want to help you,
you know?
1213
01:31:24,776 --> 01:31:27,988
We need each other.
I haven't even lied in, like, two days.
1214
01:31:29,156 --> 01:31:31,408
Is that true?
1215
01:31:31,533 --> 01:31:34,244
No.
1216
01:31:36,788 --> 01:31:38,707
Look, this isn't...
1217
01:31:38,790 --> 01:31:41,210
This isn't a conversation
about this being over.
1218
01:31:41,293 --> 01:31:43,462
It's... It's...
1219
01:31:43,587 --> 01:31:46,048
I'm not puttin' a period
at the end of this, you know?
1220
01:31:46,131 --> 01:31:49,343
I'm puttin', like,
an ellipsis on it.
1221
01:31:49,426 --> 01:31:51,929
Because I'm-I'm worried
that if I don't go figure myself out...
1222
01:31:52,054 --> 01:31:54,306
if I don't go, like,
land on my own two feet...
1223
01:31:54,431 --> 01:31:57,768
then I'm gonna fuck this whole thing up,
and this is too important.
1224
01:32:03,357 --> 01:32:05,442
I gotta go. L...
1225
01:32:05,567 --> 01:32:08,570
Gotta go.
1226
01:32:08,654 --> 01:32:11,532
I fired my psychiatrist.
I gotta go find a new one.
1227
01:32:14,243 --> 01:32:16,453
Look, I'm gonna call you
when I get there.
1228
01:32:18,288 --> 01:32:20,707
I'm gonna call you.
1229
01:32:26,421 --> 01:32:28,590
Look at me.
1230
01:32:30,717 --> 01:32:32,678
Look at me.
1231
01:32:40,144 --> 01:32:42,354
You changed my life.
1232
01:32:48,694 --> 01:32:51,655
You changed my life,
and I've known you four days.
1233
01:32:56,785 --> 01:32:59,288
This is the beginning
of something really big.
1234
01:33:01,790 --> 01:33:03,750
But right now, I gotta go.
1235
01:33:11,467 --> 01:33:13,969
Come here.
1236
01:33:28,192 --> 01:33:30,194
Final boarding call for all...
1237
01:34:28,627 --> 01:34:31,046
Take your seats as quickly as possible.
1238
01:34:42,391 --> 01:34:46,687
- What are you doing?
- Remember that idea I had about
working stuff out on my own...
1239
01:34:46,770 --> 01:34:49,565
- and then finding you once I figured stuff out?
- The ellipsis?
1240
01:34:49,690 --> 01:34:52,359
Yeah. The ellipsis. It's dumb.
It's dumb. It's an awful idea.
1241
01:34:52,442 --> 01:34:55,779
And I'm not gonna do it, okay?
'Cause like you said, this is it.
1242
01:34:55,904 --> 01:34:57,781
This is life...
1243
01:34:57,906 --> 01:35:01,243
and I'm in love
with you, Samantha.
1244
01:35:01,326 --> 01:35:04,746
I think that's the only thing I've ever been
really sure of in my entire life.
1245
01:35:04,872 --> 01:35:07,875
I'm really messed up now,
and I got a lot of stuff I gotta work out.
1246
01:35:07,958 --> 01:35:11,044
But I don't want to waste any more
of my life without you in it, okay?
1247
01:35:11,128 --> 01:35:14,047
- Yeah.
- And I think I can do this! I mean, I want to.
1248
01:35:14,131 --> 01:35:15,757
- We have to, right?
- Yeah!
1249
01:35:15,883 --> 01:35:18,010
- Right?
- Yes!
1250
01:35:20,512 --> 01:35:22,473
So what do we do?
1251
01:35:28,145 --> 01:35:30,272
What do we do?