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[male narrator]
It's an important and popular fact
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00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:37,400
that things are not always
what they seem.
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00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:41,300
For instance, on the planet Earth,
man had always assumed
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00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:44,900
that he was the most intelligent
species occupying the planet,
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instead of the third most intelligent.
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00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:52,300
The second most intelligent creatures
were dolphins, who, curiously enough,
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00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:56,300
had long known of the impending
destruction of the planet Earth.
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00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,700
They'd made many attempts
to alert mankind,
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00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,800
but most of their communications
were misinterpreted
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00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:05,400
as amusing attempts to punch footballs
or whistle for tidbits.
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So they eventually decided they would
leave Earth by their own means.
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The last ever dolphin message
was misinterpreted
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as a sophisticated attempt
to do a backward somersault
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through a hoop, whistling
The Star-Spangled Banner.
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In fact, the message was this:
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- [bell rings]
- ''So long and thanks for all the fish. ''
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[Up tempo drum intro to big band number]
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[male chorus]? So long
and thanks for all the fish
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? So sad that it should come to this
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? We tried to warn you all but, oh, dear
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? You may not share our intellect
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? Which might explain your disrespect
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? For all the natural wonders
that grow around you
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? So long, so long
and thanks...for all the fish
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[female chorus]
? Your world's about to be destroyed
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00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,700
? There's no point
getting all annoyed
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? Lie back and let the planet
dissolve around you
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[male chorus]
? Despite those nets of tuna fleets
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? We thought that
most of you were sweet
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? Especially tiny tots
and your pregnant women
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? So long, so long,
so long, so long, so long
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[female chorus]? So long, so long
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00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:40,100
[whole chorus]? So long,
so long and thanks for all the fish
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[girl solo]
? If I had just one last wish
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? I would like a tasty fish
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[woman solo]
? If we could just change one thing
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? We would all have learnt to sing
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[full chorus]
? Come one and all
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? Man and mammal
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? Side by side
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? In life's great gene pool!
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[male chorus]
? So long, so long, so long
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[female chorus]? So long, so long
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[whole chorus]? So long, so long
and thanks for all the fish! ?
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[cock crows]
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[male narrator] The extraordinary story
of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:06,600
begins very simply.
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It begins with a man.
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Ooh!
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An Earthman, to be precise.
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Who no more knows his destiny,
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than a tea leaf knows the history
of the East India Company.
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[buzz]
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His name is Arthur Dent.
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He is a five-foot-eight-inch-tall
ape descendant
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and someone is trying to drive
a bypass through his house.
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What do l want you to do about it?
Find him
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and tell him l'm currently lying
flat on my back in front of...
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Fine, l'll hold.
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You can't lie in front
of the bulldozers for ever.
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l'm game. We'll see who rusts first.
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This bypass has got to be built
and it is going to be built.
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- Why has it got to be built?
- lt's a bypass.
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00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:08,500
You've got to build bypasses. Besides,
you should've protested months ago.
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The plans have been on display
at the planning office for a year.
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On display?
l had to go down to a cellar.
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Mr Dent, have you any idea how much
damage this bulldozer would suffer
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if l just let it roll straight over you?
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- How much?
- None at all.
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[narrator] By a strange coincidence,
none at all
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is exactly how much suspicion
ape-descendant Arthur had
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that one of his closest friends
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was not descended from an ape,
but was, in fact, from a small planet
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somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse.
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Arthur! Arthur!
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- [Arthur] Ford!
- Yes?
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Here.
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Ah, there you are!
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[Ford] Eat, drink. We gotta talk.
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Now's not the best time.
They're going to demolish my home.
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Whoa! You already...
You already know? How?
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What do you m...?
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Oh, they, they? When you say
''they'' you mean they? Got it.
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Listen. l got somethin' important
l gotta tell you. Right now.
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Well, what about my house?
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[Ford] Workers of the Earth, l bring
good tidings of peanuts and beer!
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[workers' excited chatter]
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- Good. Let's go to the pub.
- Huh?
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They won't demolish it
until they've finished the beers.
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- Can we trust 'em?
- To the end of the Earth.
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- How far's that?
- About 1 2 minutes away.
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00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:46,300
Huh?
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Barman, six pints of bitter and quickly.
The world's about to end.
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00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:50,400
Barman, six pints of bitter and quickly.
The world's about to end.
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Six pints coming up.
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00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:56,100
[Ford] Keep the change.
You got about ten minutes to spend it.
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Three pints each? At lunchtime?
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[loud gulping]
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Sorry. Ah. Time is an illusion.
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Lunchtime, doubly so.
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And eat those peanuts,
because you'll need the salt.
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- Look, what is going on, Ford?
- Arthur...
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00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,700
What if l told you
l really wasn't from Guildford?
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l was from a small planet
somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse?
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ls that something
you're likely to say?
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Remember when we met?
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- [Ford mimics car]
- [car horn]
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[Arthur] Out the way!
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- [Arthur] Oof!
- Hi.
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Wasn't it strange l was trying
to shake hands with a car?
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l assumed you were drunk.
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l thought cars were the dominant
life form. l was introducing myself.
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You saved my life. And now
l'm saving yours. Please drink.
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lt must be Thursday. l could never get
the hang of Thursdays.
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- lf this is about your house...
- No, it's not about the house.
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- [Arthur tuts]
- [phone beeps]
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- [Ford] Who's he?
- [Arthur] She. She.
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Tricia McMillan.
We met at a fancy-dress party.
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[Arthur] I hate those kind of parties.
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I'd rather have stayed at home
and ironed my hankies.
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- But there I was.
- [Tricia] Who are you?
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- [Arthur] Oh!
- And there she was.
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- Uh, Dent. Arthur Dent.
- Oh, no. l mean, who are you?
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Oh, the costume? Right.
''Livingstone, l presume!''
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Yeah, it's not as clever as Darwin,
but the best l could do at short notice.
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You're the first to get that right.
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- [Arthur] Really?
- Yes. Everyone calls me Santa.
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- Right.
- l thought the beagle was a giveaway.
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So did l.
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People at these parties
are drunken idiots.
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- What?
- [music stops]
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[Arthur] All these people are idiots!
God!
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[Tricia laughs]
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That's awkward.
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[Arthur] Tell me.
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She was amazing though, Ford.
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Beautiful, witty, mad as a balloon.
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[Arthur] Uh, without the beard,
you look at least 80 years younger.
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Maybe l'm de-evolving.
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[both laugh]
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[Arthur] Well, l should tell you
that l do not date
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single-celled organisms, okay?
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Let's go somewhere.
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Yeah. Definitely.
Um, where do you have in mind?
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- Madagascar.
- ls that that new club on Dean Street?
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No, it's a country
off the coast of Africa.
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That Madagascar?
Why are we waiting here?
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- Wait a sec.
- [Tricia laughs]
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Go.
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God, you're serious.
Um, l can't go to Madagascar.
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- Why not?
- [Arthur] Because, l just, you know...
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- You're serious?
- Yeah.
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l want to go somewhere l've never been
and l'd like to go with you, so...
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...what do you say, Dr Livingstone?
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l say that's
an extraordinary proposition.
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l can't go. l mean, l've got a job.
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Quit. Get a new one
when you come back.
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l don't even know your real name.
Ow! Ow!
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- Tricia McMillan.
- Well, Tricia McMillan.
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Um, l have a proposition for you.
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Why don't we go somewhere
a little closer first, say Cornwall,
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and we'll see how it goes.
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Right, of course, Cornwall.
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[man] Hey, excuse me.
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[squeak]
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ls this guy boring you?
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Why don't you talk to me instead?
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l'm from a different planet.
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lt's true. You want to see my spaceship?
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[Tricia laughs]
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00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:11,200
''Do you want to see my spaceship?''
What kind of chat-up line is that?
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Mm, that does happen.
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- Speaking of...
- [electronic bleeps]
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We've got two minutes.
Drink up.
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- [rumbling]
- That's my house.
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People of Earth, a round of drinks,
for everyone, on me.
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[barman] You really think
the world's going to end?
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00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:38,200
Yes.
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00:11:38,300 --> 00:11:42,700
Shouldn't we lie down, or put a paper
bag over our heads, or something?
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- lf you like.
- Will it help?
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Not at all. See you.
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[barman] Last orders!
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[workmen shouting]
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[pants]
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[engines whir]
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- [workman] What is that?
- [workman #2] Run!
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00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,500
[workman #3] Look out!
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[shouts and screams]
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[rumbling]
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[screeching]
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Aha! Towel!
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Arthur!
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00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:45,500
What the hell are those things?
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00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:49,100
[Ford] Yeow! They're ships
from a Vogon constructor fleet.
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00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,400
l picked up their signal this morning.
You'll need this.
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00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:53,800
[whimpers]
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00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:57,000
- [Arthur] What are you doing?
- We're hitching a ride.
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[feedback]
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00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,800
Um, people of Earth,
200
00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:07,400
this is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the
Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council.
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00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:09,000
As you are probably aware,
202
00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:12,700
plans for the development of the
outlying regions of the galaxy
203
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:17,400
involve the building of a hyperspace
express route through your star system.
204
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:21,600
And your planet is one of those
scheduled for demolition.
205
00:13:21,700 --> 00:13:23,300
[screaming]
206
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,300
[screaming]
207
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,300
[screaming]
208
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,600
[sheep bleat]
209
00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:32,200
There's no point
acting surprised about it.
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00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,800
The plans have been on display
211
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:38,600
at your local planning office
in Alpha Centauri for 50 Earth years.
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00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:39,700
[screaming]
213
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:43,500
If you can't be bothered with
local affairs, that's your lookout.
214
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:46,000
Apathetic bloody planet.
215
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:49,100
l've no sympathy at all.
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00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,200
[harsh alien speech]
217
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:53,100
[electric discharge]
218
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:57,100
[Arthur screams]
219
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,200
[Arthur screams]
220
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:30,600
[boom]
221
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,700
[narrator/Guide]
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
222
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:41,800
is a wholly remarkable book.
223
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:45,100
Perhaps the most remarkable,
certainly the most successful,
224
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:49,300
ever to come out of the great publishing
corporations of Ursa Minor.
225
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,700
More popular than
The Celestial Homecare Omnibus,
226
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:56,500
better selling than
53 More Things to Do in Zero Gravity,
227
00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:59,600
and more controversial than
Oolon Colluphid's trilogy
228
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:02,900
of philosophical blockbusters,
Where God Went Wrong,
229
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,500
Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes,
230
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:07,900
and Who ls This God Person Anyway?
231
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,700
It's already supplanted
the Encyclopedia Galactica
232
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,800
as the standard repository
of all knowledge and wisdom
233
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,400
for two important reasons.
234
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:20,100
First, it's slightly cheaper,
235
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,300
and second, it has the words
''Don't Panic''
236
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,900
printed in large,
friendly letters on its cover.
237
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:38,300
So you're not from Guildford?
238
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:42,500
Which would explain the accent,
which l've always wondered about.
239
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:46,400
Um, you're not an out-of-work actor,
240
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:51,900
but rather a writer for this,
this book thing.
241
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,400
- [electronic buzzing]
- [Ford] Good, huh?
242
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:56,900
l don't feel well.
l need a cup of tea.
243
00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,400
lf l asked where we were,
would l regret it?
244
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:03,700
- [Ford] We're safe for now.
- [Arthur] Good.
245
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:07,700
We're in the washroom on one of the
ships of the Vogon constructor fleet.
246
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:11,200
- Oh, get me home, Ford.
- Arthur, your home is...
247
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:15,900
Oh, God, my home.
My home was demolished.
248
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,600
[hollow clang]
249
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,700
You don't remember.
250
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:30,100
Okay, Arthur, l've got something to tell
you. lt's unfortunate, but it's true.
251
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,400
Your home planet has been blown up.
252
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:46,100
- Huh, blown up.
- [Ford grunts]
253
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:47,400
[grunts]
254
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:53,100
Couldn't you have done something?
255
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:57,200
l saved your life.
Okay, that makes us even.
256
00:17:57,300 --> 00:18:01,300
lt's a tough galaxy. lf you want
to survive out here, you've...
257
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:05,000
...gotta know where your towel is.
258
00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:07,600
Okay, give me a hand over here.
259
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:14,100
Careful. lt's hot.
We've gotta get off this ship.
260
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,200
Before the Vogons find us.
261
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:19,400
Vogons, they hate hitchhikers. Pull.
262
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,800
- [Arthur] Huh?
- [steam hisses]
263
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,200
[Ford laughs]
264
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,500
- Now we'll get a signal.
- What is a Vogon?
265
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,400
Ask the Guide. Say ''Vogons''.
266
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,300
- [electronic chimes]
- Vogons.
267
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:39,500
[Guide] Vogons are one of the
most unpleasant races in the galaxy.
268
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:43,900
Not evil, but bad-tempered,
bureaucratic, officious and callous.
269
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:47,500
They wouldn't even lift a finger
to save their own grandmothers
270
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:50,800
from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast
of Traal without orders
271
00:18:50,900 --> 00:18:53,400
signed in triplicate,
sent in, sent back,
272
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,800
queried, lost, found,
subjected to public inquiry,
273
00:18:56,900 --> 00:19:00,300
lost again and finally buried
in soft peat for three months
274
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,200
and recycled as firelighters.
275
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:09,300
On no account should you allow
a Vogon to read poetry to you.
276
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,900
[klaxon]
277
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:15,600
[Ford] They can't think or imagine.
Most can't spell. They just run things.
278
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,200
Hmm?
279
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:21,800
[grunts]
280
00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:23,900
And if we don't get a ride soon,
281
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,400
we won't need the Guide to tell us
how unpleasant the Vogons are.
282
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,800
They've already destroyed
a planet today.
283
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:32,200
That always makes them a little eee!
284
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:35,900
[loudspeaker: unintelligible shouting]
285
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,300
Ughh! What is that?
286
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,400
- Put this in your ear.
- Huh?
287
00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:46,100
[Arthur gibbers]
288
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:50,100
[Vogon] We have unwittingly
picked up a couple of hitchhikers.
289
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:52,800
The fish is translating for you.
290
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,900
[Guide] The Babel fish
is small, yellow, leech-like,
291
00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:01,400
and probably the oddest thing
in the universe.
292
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:05,900
It feeds on brainwave energy,
absorbing unconscious frequencies,
293
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,500
and excreting a matrix
of conscious frequencies
294
00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:10,900
to the speech centers of the brain.
295
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,500
The practical upshot of which is that,
if you stick one in your ear,
296
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:20,200
you instantly understand
anything said to you in any language.
297
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:24,200
[rumbling, crashing]
298
00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:30,800
Resistance is useless.
299
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,700
- [Arthur] All right.
- [Vogon] Someone's coming.
300
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,200
[Vogon #2] Here we go. Look lively.
301
00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:42,300
[rumble and crash of doors]
302
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,400
[Vogon grunts]
303
00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:51,300
[Vogons chatter]
304
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:01,300
[crab] Wheee!
305
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,200
- [Vogon grunts]
- [crab squeaks]
306
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,800
- [squeak]
- [Vogon] Ha, ha!
307
00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:12,400
[all shriek]
308
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:14,300
[door clangs]
309
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:18,200
- [Vogon Jeltz] Hmmm.
- [Vogon minion] Sir.
310
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,000
- [Vogon Jeltz] What?
- [Vogon minion] Hitchhikers.
311
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:23,000
[Vogon Jeltz groans]
312
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:26,700
[bell rings]
313
00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:30,100
[clang]
314
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:34,400
[whoosh]
315
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:36,300
[brakes grind]
316
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,100
[feedback]
317
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:52,900
[Vogon Jeltz groans]
318
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:56,400
[Ford gibbers]
319
00:21:56,500 --> 00:21:58,800
[Vogon Jeltz clears throat]
320
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,600
''O freddled gruntbuggly...''
321
00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:06,300
No, really, you don't have to read.
322
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,100
We've put you through
enough trouble already.
323
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:14,300
''...as plerdled gabbleblotchits
on a lurgid bee.''
324
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:19,800
[Guide] Vogon poetry is widely accepted
as the third worst in the universe.
325
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:20,900
[groans]
326
00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:24,200
[Guide] The second worst
is that of the Azgoths of Kria.
327
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:27,800
During a recitation by their
Poet Master, Grunthos the Flatulent,
328
00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:30,800
of his poem
Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty
329
00:22:30,900 --> 00:22:33,500
l Found in my Armpit
One Midsummer Morning,
330
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:36,800
four of his audience
died of internal hemorrhaging,
331
00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:40,400
and the President of the
Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council
332
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,900
survived by gnawing
one of his own legs off.
333
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:48,000
''Or l will rend thee
in the gobberwarts...''
334
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:51,000
- [Ford screams weakly]
- ''...with my blurgle...''
335
00:22:51,100 --> 00:22:55,500
[Guide] The absolute worst poetry was
by Paula Millstone Jennings of Sussex.
336
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:58,100
Luckily, it was destroyed
when the Earth was.
337
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:02,800
''See if l don't.'' Yeah.
338
00:23:02,900 --> 00:23:04,900
[Vogons chortle]
339
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:10,400
So, Earthlings,
l present you with a choice.
340
00:23:10,500 --> 00:23:13,600
Either die in the vacuum of space,
341
00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:18,500
or tell me what you thought of my poem.
342
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,100
[Vogons chuckle]
343
00:23:20,100 --> 00:23:24,100
A... a... actually, l rather liked it.
344
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,200
- [Jeltz] Hmm?
- [Ford] Yeah.
345
00:23:26,300 --> 00:23:29,000
- That's good. Run with it.
- Hmmm.
346
00:23:29,100 --> 00:23:31,500
Uh, some of the words
l didn't understand,
347
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:35,000
but l found the imagery quite effective.
348
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:37,200
Continue.
349
00:23:37,300 --> 00:23:41,000
Well, uh, yes,
interesting rhythmic devices,
350
00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:43,500
which seemed to counterpoint
351
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,300
the underlying metaphor
of the humanity of...
352
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:49,600
- Vogonity!
- Vogonity, sorry, vogonity...
353
00:23:49,700 --> 00:23:53,000
of the poet's soul.
354
00:23:53,100 --> 00:23:55,600
[Vogons murmur]
355
00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:59,800
So what you're saying is,
356
00:23:59,900 --> 00:24:02,500
l write poetry because
357
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:07,000
underneath this mean,
callous, heartless exterior,
358
00:24:07,100 --> 00:24:11,000
l just want to be loved?
359
00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:14,400
[whispers] Yes, yes, yes.
360
00:24:14,500 --> 00:24:16,900
Yes, yes, yeah, please.
361
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:22,400
Ahh, ooh, ooh, mmm.
362
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,100
Throw them off the ship!
363
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,600
- [Ford] No! No!
- Ford. Ford!
364
00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:29,200
Ahh!
365
00:24:29,300 --> 00:24:31,500
All right! All right!
366
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:35,200
[Vogon guard] Resistance is useless!
367
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:42,400
Shut up! Get a job!
Wash your filthy hands!
368
00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:45,200
Don't panic. Don't panic.
369
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:51,300
[Arthur] So this is it?
We're going to die?
370
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:55,000
Yeah, we're gonna die.
371
00:24:55,100 --> 00:24:58,000
No, no, what's this?
372
00:24:58,100 --> 00:24:59,700
What is this?
373
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:04,200
What's this? This is... nothing.
Yeah, we're gonna die.
374
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,200
[Arthur sighs]
375
00:25:07,300 --> 00:25:08,300
[hollow clang]
376
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,200
[Arthur sighs]
377
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:13,400
- [phone beeps]
- [Arthur grunts]
378
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,900
You're sweating.
379
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,200
[Arthur chuckles]
380
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,500
- [Ford] Would you like a hug?
- [Arthur] No.
381
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,600
[klaxon]
382
00:25:38,300 --> 00:25:39,700
[noises stop]
383
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,600
[Guide] ''Space, '' says the introduction
to The Hitchhiker's Guide,
384
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,100
''is big. Really big. ''
385
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:52,600
''You just won't believe how vastly,
hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. ''
386
00:25:52,700 --> 00:25:54,500
A... a... and so on.
387
00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:57,700
It also says that
if you hold a lungful of air,
388
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:03,200
you can survive in the total vacuum
of space for about 30 seconds.
389
00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:05,500
But with space being really big and all,
390
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,100
the chances of being picked up
within that time
391
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,400
are two to the power of two billion,
392
00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:13,500
79 million, 460 thousand,
393
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,600
347 to one against.
394
00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:18,500
By a staggering coincidence,
395
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,200
it's also the phone number
of the Islington flat,
396
00:26:21,300 --> 00:26:23,500
where Arthur went to a fancy dress party
397
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,900
and met a very nice young woman
whom he totally blew it with.
398
00:26:28,100 --> 00:26:30,400
[boom]
399
00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:34,500
Though the planet Earth,
the Islington flat and telephone
400
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:40,200
have all now been demolished, Ford
and Arthur were, in fact, rescued.
401
00:26:40,300 --> 00:26:43,100
- [Arthur] Ford?
- [Ford] Yes.
402
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:47,300
- [Arthur] l think l'm a sofa.
- [Ford] l know how you feel.
403
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:48,800
[both scream]
404
00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:57,400
So much for the laws of physics.
405
00:26:57,500 --> 00:26:59,400
[TV woman] And our top story.
406
00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:03,700
The sensational theft of the most
coveted ship in the universe,
407
00:27:03,900 --> 00:27:05,800
the starship Heart of Gold.
408
00:27:05,900 --> 00:27:08,400
Stolen at the launch ceremony
by none other
409
00:27:08,500 --> 00:27:11,300
than Galactic President
Zaphod Beeblebrox.
410
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:16,700
[Zaphod] In the name of people, freedom,
and, uh... democracy, stuff like that,
411
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:20,900
I hereby kidnap myself
and I'm taking the ship with me. Whoo!
412
00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:23,000
- Come on!
- [crowd gasps]
413
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,500
[TV] Beeblebrox,
universally considered
414
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:28,500
to be the dimmest star
in several solar systems,
415
00:27:28,700 --> 00:27:32,300
is most famous for his controversial
defeat of Humma Kavula
416
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,400
who claimed many thought they were
voting for the worst-dressed being
417
00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:39,400
in the universe contest.
418
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:40,600
Great.
419
00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:43,600
Kavula is best remembered
for his slanderous
420
00:27:43,700 --> 00:27:46,300
''Don't Vote for Stupid!'' campaign.
421
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,900
[woman] Put your ego aside.
Something important has happened.
422
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:54,400
lf there's anything more important than
my ego, l want it caught and shot now.
423
00:27:54,500 --> 00:27:56,200
Come on, l love it.
424
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,300
[TV] Zaphod's just this guy, you know.
425
00:28:00,700 --> 00:28:03,200
Hey, hey, hey, hey. What d'you...?
426
00:28:03,300 --> 00:28:07,600
- l was just watching myself.
- We have a couple of hitchhikers.
427
00:28:07,700 --> 00:28:10,200
Hitchhikers?
Why'd you pick up hitchhikers?
428
00:28:10,300 --> 00:28:12,200
l didn't. The ship did.
429
00:28:12,300 --> 00:28:14,600
[Zaphod] What? Wh... wh... Say what?
430
00:28:14,700 --> 00:28:19,300
When we engaged the
lmprobability Drive... The big button.
431
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:22,200
- [Zaphod] l know.
- They were picked up here.
432
00:28:22,300 --> 00:28:25,800
ln sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha. Wait.
That's where you picked me up.
433
00:28:25,900 --> 00:28:27,900
- On Earth.
- That's impossible.
434
00:28:27,900 --> 00:28:31,300
- No, just very improbable.
- Listen. l don't have time for this.
435
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:35,600
We've got the police of half the galaxy
after us. We've stopped for hitchhikers.
436
00:28:35,700 --> 00:28:38,100
So ten out of ten for style, but...
437
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,600
...minus several million
for good thinking.
438
00:28:40,700 --> 00:28:44,000
You're too gorgeous, baby, stop it.
You drive me crazy.
439
00:28:45,100 --> 00:28:47,400
Don't. l'll send Marvin.
440
00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:50,400
- Marvin.
- [whirring]
441
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,500
[Marvin] You ought to know,
l'm feeling very depressed.
442
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:01,000
Well, we have something
that should take your mind off things.
443
00:29:01,100 --> 00:29:05,800
[Marvin] lt won't work.
l have an exceptionally large mind.
444
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:11,800
Yeah, we know. But we need you to go
down to the number two entry bay
445
00:29:11,900 --> 00:29:14,700
and pick up our stowaways
and bring them up here.
446
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:18,100
[Marvin] Just that? l won't enjoy it.
447
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,800
Yeah, well, that's life.
448
00:29:20,900 --> 00:29:25,200
[Marvin] Life?
Don't talk to me about life.
449
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,800
- [radio] Commander Kwaltz.
- [Kwaltz] Yes.
450
00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:41,200
[radio] We have located the spaceship
Heart of Gold and President Beeblebrox.
451
00:29:41,300 --> 00:29:45,500
- Where?
- Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha.
452
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,100
Requesting hyperspace clearance.
453
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:54,100
Hold your position, captain,
until clearance is granted.
454
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:59,900
- Yes, sir.
- Get me Vice-President Questular.
455
00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:06,100
Hyperspace permission granted, captain.
456
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,600
[Vogon crewman] Here we go.
457
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:13,700
- [engines roar]
- [Vogons scream]
458
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:16,500
[whoosh of engines]
459
00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:23,300
[door sighs]
460
00:30:27,300 --> 00:30:30,100
[door sighs]
461
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:32,900
l think that door just sighed.
462
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,400
[Marvin] Ghastly, isn't it?
463
00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:37,900
All the doors have been programmed
464
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,200
to have a cheerful
and sunny disposition.
465
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:48,200
Anyway, come on. l've been ordered
to take you up to the bridge.
466
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,000
Please yourselves.
467
00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:55,300
Here l am,
brain the size of a planet,
468
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,900
and they ask me to take you
up to the bridge.
469
00:30:58,100 --> 00:31:01,500
Call that job satisfaction?
'Cause l don't.
470
00:31:01,700 --> 00:31:06,700
You can thank the Sirius Cybernetics
Corp. for building robots with G.P.P.
471
00:31:06,700 --> 00:31:10,900
- [Arthur] What's G.P.P.?
- [Marvin] Genuine People Personalities.
472
00:31:11,100 --> 00:31:15,500
l'm a personality prototype.
You can tell, can't you?
473
00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:18,000
[electronic bleeps]
474
00:31:20,300 --> 00:31:23,100
- [bleeps]
- [woman] Arthur?
475
00:31:24,100 --> 00:31:28,600
[Zaphod] Hey, Slim, are you wearing
my underwear? 'Cause I'm wearing yours.
476
00:31:28,700 --> 00:31:31,500
And they ain't doing the trick.
Come on. All right.
477
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,700
- [door sighs]
- [Marvin] Oh, for heaven's sake.
478
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,600
l've brought the aliens.
Don't thank me or anything.
479
00:31:40,700 --> 00:31:42,800
[Zaphod] Ah-ha! Ow!
480
00:31:42,900 --> 00:31:45,000
- Freeze!
- [Ford squeals]
481
00:31:45,100 --> 00:31:48,600
[Marvin] Freeze?
l'm a robot. Not a refrigerator.
482
00:31:48,700 --> 00:31:52,300
- l wasn't talking to you, Giggles.
- [Marvin] Oh, why do l bother?
483
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,100
- Zaphod?
- Ford!
484
00:31:54,300 --> 00:31:58,700
[Zaphod] ls that you?
Ford! Praxibetel lx!
485
00:31:58,700 --> 00:32:00,800
What the hell are you doing here?
486
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:04,300
l just stuck out my thumb and here l am.
487
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,200
- [Zaphod] That is so you.
- [Ford] Look at you!
488
00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:11,700
President of the Galaxy.
l can't believe you beat Humma Kavula.
489
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:13,400
[Zaphod] You zarkin' frood.
490
00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:17,900
l want you to meet a friend.
Arthur, this is Zaphod Beeblebrox.
491
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,000
Oh.
492
00:32:19,100 --> 00:32:24,100
President of the Galaxy. This is my
cousin. He's a semi-half brother...
493
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:27,800
- We share three of the same mothers.
- We've met.
494
00:32:27,900 --> 00:32:33,300
[laughs] Have we? l'm sorry.
l've got a terrible memory for species.
495
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:37,700
This is him, Ford. The would-you-like-
to-see-my-spaceship bloke.
496
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:39,300
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
497
00:32:39,300 --> 00:32:44,600
- Hello, Arthur.
- Tricia!
498
00:32:44,700 --> 00:32:47,000
- How you doin'?
- Hey, Trillian.
499
00:32:47,100 --> 00:32:50,900
This is my semi-half-brother lx,
l'm sorry, Ford.
500
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,800
- Hi.
- Hi.
501
00:32:53,900 --> 00:32:57,900
Um, would you excuse us
for a second, please?
502
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,200
You went down on that little planet
and didn't call me?
503
00:33:01,300 --> 00:33:04,200
Sorry, l didn't know.
l had a galaxy to run.
504
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:06,500
[Arthur] Hi, Tricia McMillan, right?
505
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:09,800
l think he called you Trillian.
Which of us got the right one?
506
00:33:09,900 --> 00:33:12,400
l shortened it.
Something a little more spacey.
507
00:33:12,500 --> 00:33:15,100
Right. l was thinking
of changing mine to,
508
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,100
l don't know, Arthoolia.
509
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:21,300
[laughs] That's a good one.
Well, this is weird.
510
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,900
- How'd you get here?
- l just stuck out my thumb.
511
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,600
- Right. ln your pajamas?
- l was in a hurry.
512
00:33:28,700 --> 00:33:30,800
Okay. Did you know l was here?
513
00:33:30,900 --> 00:33:33,600
Don't flatter yourself.
l've got a spaceman too.
514
00:33:33,700 --> 00:33:36,400
Yeah, that's kinda like
the Dingo Shuffle, yeah.
515
00:33:36,500 --> 00:33:38,500
Okay, um, look.
516
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:42,400
l left you at the party. l feel bad, but
l was gonna call you when l got back.
517
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,500
Well, there is no
going back now, is there?
518
00:33:46,700 --> 00:33:48,200
You do know what happened?
519
00:33:48,300 --> 00:33:51,100
Enough small talk.
We're on the run, remember?
520
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,100
Excuse me, we're having a chat.
521
00:33:53,300 --> 00:33:55,700
Well, l think the girl's getting...
Boo!
522
00:33:55,800 --> 00:34:01,100
You blew it with her, Earthman, so shut
your face or l'll kick you in the zatch.
523
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:02,800
- You wanna fight?
- Okay.
524
00:34:02,900 --> 00:34:05,600
- No. No.
- l'm just kidding.
525
00:34:05,700 --> 00:34:09,100
l'm a kidder. Let's be friends.
Let's connect. You and l.
526
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,000
Didn't see that one coming, did you?
527
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:15,500
Popped right out of the box.
You foxy, yeah!
528
00:34:15,900 --> 00:34:19,100
Teach your pal a lesson, Ford.
He's a guest on my ship.
529
00:34:19,300 --> 00:34:21,600
[sings] He's a guest on my ship!
530
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:24,600
l thought you said you stole it.
531
00:34:24,700 --> 00:34:26,200
[thud]
532
00:34:26,300 --> 00:34:29,200
Stole what?
What are we talking about?
533
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:32,800
- [electronic klaxon]
- Whoa! That doesn't sound good.
534
00:34:34,100 --> 00:34:36,700
[whoosh]
535
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:40,700
- Are you okay?
- Just fabulous, thanks, ''Trill''.
536
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,600
A little help over here.
l'm in over my head.
537
00:34:43,700 --> 00:34:47,100
l'll take care of this. Good Zarquon,
do l have to do everything?
538
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:48,400
[laughing] Yes, l do!
539
00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:50,700
Hey, this is really pretty.
540
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,300
- Don't!
- Whoo! They're on our tail.
541
00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:55,800
Fire a gun. Launch a missile.
Do some damage!
542
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,000
[engines roar]
543
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:06,400
Ow! Stop that! Ow!
544
00:35:06,500 --> 00:35:08,500
Just kiddin'. l love it rough. Hit me.
545
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,500
- Uh, computer?
- [computer] Hi, there.
546
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,700
I'm Eddie, your computer.
547
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:17,600
I'm pleased to report that it's
a fleet of 100 Vogon battle destroyers.
548
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:19,900
They're sending you a message.
549
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,400
This is Vice-President Questular Rontok.
550
00:35:22,500 --> 00:35:25,900
I am speaking to the kidnapper
of the President?
551
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,100
[Zaphod] She digs me.
552
00:35:27,300 --> 00:35:29,500
Surrender the stolen vessel at once
553
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:35,000
or we will take action
as defined and permitted by...
554
00:35:35,100 --> 00:35:39,000
section 1-8 of the Galactic Interstellar
Space Bylaws...
555
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,500
Zaphod, please come back now.
This is ridiculous.
556
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:45,400
Leap to hyperspace! Come on!
557
00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:48,100
[computer] Sure thing, fella!
558
00:35:48,100 --> 00:35:49,500
[engines fire up]
559
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:54,600
[whoosh]
560
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:56,100
No.
561
00:35:56,200 --> 00:36:01,600
Did they have proper
hyperspace authorization?
562
00:36:01,700 --> 00:36:05,600
- No, commander.
- Oh.
563
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:11,100
Bring me the request
to pursue fugitive forms.
564
00:36:11,100 --> 00:36:14,000
- [messenger] l'm coming, sir.
- [footsteps]
565
00:36:15,700 --> 00:36:20,800
[panting] l'm boiling!
Oh, oh. Here's the form, sir.
566
00:36:21,500 --> 00:36:25,700
So are you along for the ride
or am l just dropping you somewhere?
567
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:29,200
That depends. Where are you going?
568
00:36:29,300 --> 00:36:31,200
Where am l going?
569
00:36:32,300 --> 00:36:36,800
- You okay?
- Yeah. Don't suppose there's any tea.
570
00:36:36,900 --> 00:36:40,000
Yes, there is. Come on.
l'll show you the kitchen.
571
00:36:40,100 --> 00:36:44,500
When you see what l'm about to show you,
you'll beg me to take you with us.
572
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:49,000
[Guide] The best drink in existence
is the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster,
573
00:36:49,100 --> 00:36:53,800
the effect of which is like having your
brains smashed out by a slice of lemon
574
00:36:53,900 --> 00:36:56,500
wrapped round a large gold brick.
575
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,600
[both scream]
576
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:04,200
- Belgium. Hold it one second.
- Belgium.
577
00:37:05,100 --> 00:37:08,000
Ape-man, Earth dude, sorry,
what's your name again?
578
00:37:08,100 --> 00:37:10,600
- [coughs] Arthur.
- Right. Gorgeous.
579
00:37:10,700 --> 00:37:14,100
No hard feelings, okay?
Sorry to hear about your planet...
580
00:37:14,100 --> 00:37:15,900
- Earth.
- Yeah. l liked Earth.
581
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:19,000
Got these boots there.
But don't mention it to the girl.
582
00:37:19,100 --> 00:37:22,800
Because if you do... l'll pull your
spleen out through your throat.
583
00:37:22,900 --> 00:37:25,800
- All right. Thanks, buddy.
- Okay.
584
00:37:25,900 --> 00:37:28,900
Good stuff. Like those jammies.
585
00:37:30,300 --> 00:37:34,800
Hey, hey, Zaphod,
what's with the two-head thing?
586
00:37:35,500 --> 00:37:39,500
Oh, yeah. Apparently, you can't be
president with a whole brain.
587
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,600
lt's crazy.
588
00:37:41,700 --> 00:37:43,900
- Oh, so you carved it up?
- Yes.
589
00:37:43,900 --> 00:37:48,100
Parts of my personality weren't exactly
what you'd call presidential.
590
00:37:48,100 --> 00:37:50,100
You know what l'm talkin' about.
591
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,400
[drinks machine] Your tea is ready.
592
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:03,000
[gags]
593
00:38:07,100 --> 00:38:08,400
[spits]
594
00:38:08,500 --> 00:38:13,100
l suppose l should've said
it resembles tea. [laughs]
595
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,900
So, two heads
is what does it for a girl?
596
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,400
l mean, if l'd had two heads,
or three...
597
00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:20,600
Or your own spaceship.
598
00:38:21,700 --> 00:38:23,500
Anything else he's got two of?
599
00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:26,000
Come on, Arthur, don't be like that.
600
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:30,400
What am l supposed to be like?
Green? Bleeping?
601
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:33,200
l can fold my eyelids
inside out if you like.
602
00:38:33,300 --> 00:38:37,200
Okay, look. Do you see this?
603
00:38:37,300 --> 00:38:41,300
This detects what you're craving
and makes it for you.
604
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,600
[machine] Enjoy your doughnut.
605
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:50,100
- Do you see this?
- [buzzing]
606
00:38:52,500 --> 00:38:59,000
This toasts bread
while you're slicing it.
607
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:04,900
We're on a spaceship, Arthur. ln space.
608
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,900
- l told you l wanted to get away.
- To Madagascar.
609
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:14,200
That was... some sort of test.
And l failed.
610
00:39:14,300 --> 00:39:17,800
- How badly does it hurt?
- lt doesn't feel great.
611
00:39:17,900 --> 00:39:19,900
No, l mean your chin.
612
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,200
- Ah...
- l might have an aspirin.
613
00:39:22,300 --> 00:39:23,700
Right.
614
00:39:26,500 --> 00:39:28,500
- [mice squeak]
- Hey!
615
00:39:30,300 --> 00:39:35,500
Tricia... Trillian, sorry.
There's something l have to tell you.
616
00:39:35,500 --> 00:39:38,800
- Please, don't.
- [Zaphod] Showtime, Trill.
617
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:48,100
l'm going to set up.
Buttons aren't toys.
618
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:49,900
Buttons aren't toys.
619
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:53,000
Anyway... When l saw
what l'm about to show you,
620
00:39:53,100 --> 00:39:57,800
that's when l realized
why l had to do what l did to my brain.
621
00:39:57,900 --> 00:40:01,000
l think. lt's all a little...
622
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:02,900
...shaky.
623
00:40:02,900 --> 00:40:05,900
[electronic whirring]
624
00:40:05,900 --> 00:40:06,000
[Marvin] l've seen it. lt's rubbish.
625
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:09,100
[Marvin] l've seen it. lt's rubbish.
626
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,600
[trumpet fanfare]
627
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:14,900
[Guide] Many millions of years ago,
628
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:18,400
a race of hyperintelligent,
pan-dimensional beings
629
00:40:18,500 --> 00:40:22,400
got so fed up with the constant
bickering about the meaning of life,
630
00:40:22,500 --> 00:40:25,500
that they commissioned
two of their brightest and best
631
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:28,900
to design and build
a stupendous super-computer
632
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:33,400
to calculate the answer to life,
the universe and everything.
633
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,400
O Deep Thought,
634
00:40:36,500 --> 00:40:40,800
we want you to tell us the answer.
635
00:40:40,900 --> 00:40:43,100
[Deep Thought] The answer to what?
636
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:47,800
[girl #2] The answer to life,
the universe, everything.
637
00:40:47,900 --> 00:40:52,000
[girl #1] We'd really like an answer.
Something simple.
638
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,700
[Deep Thought]
Hmm, I'd have to think about that.
639
00:40:54,800 --> 00:41:01,700
Return to this place in exactly
seven-and-a-half million years.
640
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:05,500
- [Ford] ls it finished?
- No, there's more. They go back.
641
00:41:05,500 --> 00:41:10,600
- Seven-and-a-half million years later?
- That's right, they do.
642
00:41:10,700 --> 00:41:15,800
[cheering, trumpets]
643
00:41:27,300 --> 00:41:29,800
Deep Thought, do you have...
644
00:41:29,900 --> 00:41:34,300
[Deep Thought] An answer for you?
Yes, but you're not going to like it.
645
00:41:35,500 --> 00:41:38,600
- lt doesn't matter. We must know it.
- All right.
646
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:41,600
The answer to the ultimate question...
647
00:41:41,700 --> 00:41:43,500
[cheering]
648
00:41:43,500 --> 00:41:47,200
...of life, the universe
and everything...
649
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:48,700
[cheering]
650
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:49,900
...is...
651
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,900
[cheering]
652
00:41:56,700 --> 00:41:58,300
...42.
653
00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:01,100
[man] Yeah? What?
654
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:03,800
[woman] 42?
655
00:42:03,900 --> 00:42:08,000
[Deep Thought] Yes, I thought it over
quite thoroughly. It's 42.
656
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:11,400
It would've been simpler
to have known what the question was.
657
00:42:11,500 --> 00:42:16,400
But it was the question.
The ultimate question. Of everything!
658
00:42:16,500 --> 00:42:18,400
That's not a question.
659
00:42:18,500 --> 00:42:22,200
Only when you know the question
will you know what the answer means.
660
00:42:22,300 --> 00:42:26,900
- Give us the ultimate question then.
- I can't. But there is one who can.
661
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:30,900
A computer that will calculate
the ultimate question.
662
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,600
A computer of such infinite complexity,
663
00:42:33,700 --> 00:42:37,800
that life itself will form part
of its operational matrix.
664
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:42,000
And you yourselves shall take on new,
more primitive forms,
665
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:47,900
and go down into the computer to
navigate its 10-million-year program.
666
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:51,700
I shall design this computer for you,
and it shall be called...
667
00:42:57,200 --> 00:43:00,800
- That's it?
- That's it.
668
00:43:00,900 --> 00:43:04,700
[Ford] You're looking for
the ultimate question? You? Why?
669
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:07,600
[Zaphod] l tried that.
Why? 42. Doesn't work.
670
00:43:07,700 --> 00:43:10,600
- Let's get it ready, baby.
- Why...
671
00:43:10,700 --> 00:43:14,200
...do you want to know
the ultimate question?
672
00:43:14,300 --> 00:43:16,800
Partly curiosity,
partly a sense of adventure,
673
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:20,400
but, uh, mostly l think
it's for the fame and the money.
674
00:43:20,500 --> 00:43:22,600
You're President of the Galaxy.
675
00:43:22,700 --> 00:43:24,600
- [Zaphod] Yes, Arman.
- Arthur.
676
00:43:24,700 --> 00:43:27,100
Whatever.
Presidential fame is temporary.
677
00:43:27,100 --> 00:43:30,900
l find the question, that's permanent.
lt sticks.
678
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,500
Plus, everyone thinks you're deep.
Win-win.
679
00:43:34,300 --> 00:43:39,000
We just hit that button and bam,
we're at Magrathea, l think.
680
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:42,200
We've hit it twice and
we're still not there, but anyway...
681
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:44,800
- You in?
- Always.
682
00:43:44,900 --> 00:43:47,700
- [Zaphod] All right!
- [Marvin] Uh, l want to get off.
683
00:43:47,700 --> 00:43:51,200
- Uh, sorry, what exactly are we doing?
- This!
684
00:43:51,500 --> 00:43:53,800
[boom]
685
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:59,100
[Guide] The Infinite Improbability Drive
is a wonderful new method
686
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:02,100
of crossing interstellar distances
in a few seconds,
687
00:44:02,100 --> 00:44:05,300
without all that tedious
mucking about in hyperspace.
688
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:08,600
As the Improbability Drive
reaches infinite improbability,
689
00:44:08,700 --> 00:44:12,700
it passes through every conceivable
point in every conceivable universe
690
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:14,500
almost simultaneously.
691
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,700
So you're never sure
where you'll end up
692
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,400
or even what species you'll be
when you get there.
693
00:44:19,500 --> 00:44:22,500
It's therefore important
to dress accordingly.
694
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:26,900
The Drive was invented following
research into finite improbability
695
00:44:27,100 --> 00:44:29,100
often used to break the ice at parties
696
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:32,500
by making all the molecules
in the hostess's undergarments
697
00:44:32,500 --> 00:44:34,600
leap one foot to the left
698
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:37,200
in accordance with
the theory of indeterminacy.
699
00:44:37,300 --> 00:44:40,900
Many physicists said they
wouldn't stand for that sort of thing,
700
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,100
partly because it debased science,
701
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:47,100
but mostly because they didn't get
invited to those sort of parties.
702
00:44:48,100 --> 00:44:50,500
[squeaks and clangs]
703
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:54,500
[engines rumble]
704
00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:00,800
[Zaphod] Wow, is this gonna happen
every time we hit that button?
705
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:02,900
[Trillian] Very probably, yes.
706
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,900
[Marvin] Ah, l think
the Earthman's about to be sick.
707
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,900
[Zaphod] ln the trashcan, ape-man.
This ship's new.
708
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,600
Aw, come on!
709
00:45:11,700 --> 00:45:14,200
[Trillian] We have normality.
710
00:45:14,300 --> 00:45:16,000
Did it work? Are we there?
711
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:22,000
Yeah. We're here. Magrathea!
712
00:45:22,100 --> 00:45:23,800
l don't think so. Eddie...
713
00:45:23,900 --> 00:45:25,900
- Ow!
- What planet is this?
714
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:27,800
[Eddie] I'm checking for you.
715
00:45:27,900 --> 00:45:32,900
Did you just pluck
one of my hairs? Off my head?
716
00:45:33,700 --> 00:45:36,500
[Eddie] Thank you for waiting.
Sorry to disappoint,
717
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:38,700
but this is not Magrathea.
718
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:42,600
We are currently in orbit around
the planet Viltvodle Six.
719
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:46,400
- [squelch]
- Humma Kavula!
720
00:45:46,500 --> 00:45:51,400
Magrathea's gonna have to wait.
l got a score to settle on this planet.
721
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:56,500
- [engines roar]
- [Zaphod] Humma Kavula!
722
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:03,700
[Guide] In the beginning,
the universe was created.
723
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:08,600
This made a lot of people very angry,
and is widely regarded as a bad move.
724
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:10,600
[crowd shouting]
725
00:46:10,700 --> 00:46:14,000
Many races believed it was created
by some sort of god,
726
00:46:14,100 --> 00:46:16,600
though the Jatravartid people
of Viltvodle Six
727
00:46:16,700 --> 00:46:21,700
firmly believe that the entire universe
was sneezed out of the nose of a being
728
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:24,600
called the Great Green Arkleseizure.
729
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:26,300
[Zaphod] Humma Kavula!
730
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:28,700
[Guide] The Jatravartids,
who lived in fear
731
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:32,300
of the time they called the
Coming of the Great White Handkerchief,
732
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:36,200
were small blue creatures
with more than 50 arms each.
733
00:46:36,300 --> 00:46:38,800
They were unique in being
the only race in history
734
00:46:38,900 --> 00:46:42,600
to have invented
the aerosol deodorant before the wheel.
735
00:46:44,500 --> 00:46:46,500
Mr President!
736
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:48,300
Hey, all right. How you doin'?
737
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:51,100
Hey, what have we here? l love it!
738
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:53,800
[blasts]
739
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,100
Hey, l love you. Fantastic!
740
00:46:58,100 --> 00:47:00,800
You guys related? Don't go changing.
741
00:47:00,900 --> 00:47:03,000
Arthur, l want a drink.
742
00:47:03,100 --> 00:47:07,200
l think l've been here before.
Have l been here before?
743
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:12,900
[women] lxxie!
744
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:16,000
- l've been here before.
- [Zaphod] Humma Kavula!
745
00:47:16,100 --> 00:47:17,900
Come on.
746
00:47:17,900 --> 00:47:20,700
Tricia! Tricia, l...
747
00:47:22,700 --> 00:47:24,500
[laughter]
748
00:47:25,700 --> 00:47:33,800
? [church choir] Now we await
with eager expectation
749
00:47:33,900 --> 00:47:40,500
? Thy handkerchief
to bring us back to Thee
750
00:47:49,300 --> 00:47:51,200
Hello, Humma.
751
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:57,000
- [priest] Join us. Sit down.
- Good to see you. Thanks. All right.
752
00:47:57,100 --> 00:47:59,200
[Humma] The handkerchief is coming.
753
00:47:59,300 --> 00:48:05,200
Let us pray the Almighty will exhale
a breath of compassion on us all.
754
00:48:06,900 --> 00:48:10,800
So that's Humma Kavula.
l thought he was just swearing.
755
00:48:11,500 --> 00:48:15,800
We lift our noses, clogged and unblown,
756
00:48:15,900 --> 00:48:18,000
in reverence to you.
757
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:24,700
Send the handkerchief, O Blessed One,
so that it may wipe us clean.
758
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:30,500
We ask this and all things
in Thy precious and alliterative name.
759
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,100
[all sneeze]
760
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:37,300
[all sniffle]
761
00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:41,300
Bless you.
762
00:48:41,700 --> 00:48:44,100
- [door bangs]
- [Zaphod] We goin' in here?
763
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:48,100
All right, l like it. lt's big,
it's gold, it's fancy. Fancy pants.
764
00:48:48,100 --> 00:48:51,600
[Humma] Zaphod Beeblebrox,
our infamous President.
765
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:54,500
What brings you to our humble planet?
766
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,100
[Zaphod] Oh, l think you know
why l'm here.
767
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:58,700
No, l don't think l do.
768
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:05,300
l think you think you don't.
But we both know... you do.
769
00:49:05,300 --> 00:49:07,100
Eloquent as always.
770
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:11,100
Your ability to articulate
never ceases to amaze.
771
00:49:11,100 --> 00:49:14,200
[Zaphod] That's funny.
During the campaign, Humma,
772
00:49:14,300 --> 00:49:16,700
when you were my opponent
running against me,
773
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:19,800
you said l was stupid.
774
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:43,900
The election is ancient history,
Zaphod, but...
775
00:49:45,300 --> 00:49:47,200
...if memory serves, you won,
776
00:49:47,300 --> 00:49:50,600
proving that good looks
and charm win
777
00:49:50,700 --> 00:49:55,600
over brilliance
and the ability to govern.
778
00:49:59,900 --> 00:50:03,100
And, incidentally, you are stupid.
779
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:05,800
[Arthur] Excuse me, Mr Humma, sir.
780
00:50:05,900 --> 00:50:10,100
Uh, l just want to say, there's been
some sort of terrible mix up
781
00:50:10,100 --> 00:50:12,500
'cause, actually, he's not with us.
782
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:15,500
We came to worship you.
He followed us and...
783
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:18,400
He grew, didn't he. He's not that tall.
784
00:50:18,500 --> 00:50:23,500
You didn't come half-way across the
galaxy to settle a campaign grudge.
785
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:27,000
Why are you here?
786
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:31,300
Of course not,
that's, that's ridiculous.
787
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:37,000
l've been stranded on a strange planet
for years, l haven't been avoiding you.
788
00:50:37,100 --> 00:50:40,100
You look great. You're doing well.
789
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:41,900
You've grown, obviously.
790
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:46,000
- [Zaphod] Aggh! Oomph!
- Wait! We don't know why we're here.
791
00:50:46,100 --> 00:50:49,700
We were trying to get to Magrathea
and our ship brought us here.
792
00:50:51,300 --> 00:50:54,800
How very, very improbable.
793
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:58,600
[squelch]
794
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,100
[electronic buzz]
795
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:05,100
l kept a few souvenirs
from my former life.
796
00:51:05,100 --> 00:51:08,000
Ah, the heady days of space piracy.
797
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:15,800
But... even an lnfinite lmprobability
Drive requires coordinates.
798
00:51:15,900 --> 00:51:18,300
Which l happen to have.
799
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:20,000
- [Zaphod groans]
- No, no, no.
800
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:22,600
You don't get something
for nothing, Zaphod.
801
00:51:22,700 --> 00:51:25,300
You must bring me something in return.
802
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:28,300
- [chuckles] Wh... What?
- [Humma] A gun.
803
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:30,400
- A gun?
- A very special gun.
804
00:51:30,500 --> 00:51:33,800
Designed by the greatest computer
ever invented.
805
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:36,800
But the only way to find it
is to go to Magrathea.
806
00:51:36,900 --> 00:51:41,400
Fine. l'll get your gun.
Just give me the coordinates.
807
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:44,200
And what will you give me
to ensure your return?
808
00:51:45,100 --> 00:51:47,500
My word as President.
809
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:52,300
No. l need a hostage.
810
00:51:54,800 --> 00:52:02,000
Only... what does
Zaphod Beeblebrox treasure?
811
00:52:03,100 --> 00:52:04,600
- [Humma whistles]
- [gulp]
812
00:52:04,700 --> 00:52:07,800
- [whistling]
- Come on.
813
00:52:07,900 --> 00:52:12,700
[Zaphod chuckles hysterically]
Oh, no!
814
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,600
- [Zaphod] Hey, take it easy now.
- [electric saw]
815
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:18,800
No, stop it.
Ah! Oh, that kind of tickles.
816
00:52:18,900 --> 00:52:22,500
Two heads are better than one.
Double your pleasure.
817
00:52:22,500 --> 00:52:26,300
[Zaphod's second head]
You need me!
818
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:30,600
Come back! Come back!
Don't leave me alone.
819
00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,200
[Zaphod's second head] Come back!
820
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:39,800
[Arthur] l thought l alone
considered your boyfriend
821
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:42,500
a narcissistic moron,
but the whole galaxy does.
822
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:45,600
What about you?
''Excuse me, Mr Humma, sir.''
823
00:52:45,500 --> 00:52:49,900
''We're not with him. We just came
to worship you.'' Very brave.
824
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:54,500
- Where the hell is Ford?
- [whoosh]
825
00:52:56,100 --> 00:53:02,600
[Vogon] By the left, march.
Left, right, left, right.
826
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:06,800
Mr President,
we're here for your protection.
827
00:53:07,500 --> 00:53:10,800
[Vogon Kwaltz]
Fire upon the kidnapper!
828
00:53:10,900 --> 00:53:12,300
Hey, come on!
829
00:53:12,100 --> 00:53:14,700
The President is the kidnapper.
You'll kill him!
830
00:53:15,700 --> 00:53:16,800
Bang! Bang!
831
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:19,000
[Arthur] lt's locked!
832
00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:24,200
Thank you, darling. l'll be in touch.
833
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,100
[Ford shrieks]
834
00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:31,900
Come on, Zaphod.
835
00:53:35,300 --> 00:53:38,100
- Hey, what did l miss?
- What have you been doing?
836
00:53:38,300 --> 00:53:41,800
Field research. So they found
where we are? Belgium bummer!
837
00:53:41,700 --> 00:53:44,500
They're shooting at us!
What are we going to do?
838
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:47,900
- [Trillian] l have an idea.
- Pushing him out and running away?
839
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,400
[Arthur] What? He's the one they want.
840
00:53:50,500 --> 00:53:52,800
You can't go out there.
What are you doing?
841
00:53:54,100 --> 00:53:57,100
- Back off!
- [Vogon] What's going on?
842
00:53:58,700 --> 00:54:02,000
l have the President
and l will kill him, l swear.
843
00:54:02,100 --> 00:54:06,100
- Could that actually kill him?
- l don't think so.
844
00:54:06,100 --> 00:54:08,200
- lt's an aerosol can.
- Oh.
845
00:54:08,500 --> 00:54:12,000
[Arthur] Okay, frightened now,
frightened.
846
00:54:12,700 --> 00:54:16,100
- [Zaphod] Hi, little guy.
- Get her!
847
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,000
- [Arthur] Zaphod, no, come on!
- [Trillian] Arthur!
848
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:22,600
- [Trillian] Arthur!
- Tricia!
849
00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:25,800
- Arthur!
- Tricia! Wait!
850
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:37,300
[Trillian] Arthur!
851
00:54:39,900 --> 00:54:43,800
Resistance is useless!
852
00:54:43,900 --> 00:54:48,100
[engines blasting off]
853
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:56,800
[Kwaltz] Bring her to Vogsphere
for processing, captain.
854
00:54:56,800 --> 00:55:00,300
- [door sighs]
- [Zaphod] Where's the circus?
855
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:03,000
They got her and it's my fault.
We have to go!
856
00:55:03,100 --> 00:55:04,600
[Zaphod] Let's go!
857
00:55:06,500 --> 00:55:10,200
Whoo! Computer, take us to Magrathea!
858
00:55:10,300 --> 00:55:12,700
What? No, no, no.
We've got to go after Tricia.
859
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:14,200
- Who?
- Trillian.
860
00:55:14,300 --> 00:55:17,800
They've got Trillian,
you stupid half-brained git!
861
00:55:17,900 --> 00:55:21,000
Right, you're coming out!
[laughs hysterically]
862
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:24,900
Computer, we don't want to go to
Magrathea, we want to follow the ships.
863
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:28,700
[computer] I'd love to, but my
guidance system has been deactivated.
864
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:29,900
Oh, come on!
865
00:55:29,900 --> 00:55:32,300
[computer] I'm sorry.
It wasn't my fault.
866
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:34,400
What you doing on this ship?
867
00:55:34,500 --> 00:55:36,100
- Ford?
- Marvin.
868
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:38,600
l've been talking
to the ship's computer.
869
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:40,500
And?
870
00:55:40,700 --> 00:55:42,200
lt hates me.
871
00:55:42,300 --> 00:55:45,200
No, uh-uh. Eddie, computer,
872
00:55:45,500 --> 00:55:49,000
is there another way
to follow the ships?
873
00:55:49,100 --> 00:55:53,600
[computer] Activating Emergency Escape
Pod. It's super-neat and fun to fly!
874
00:55:53,700 --> 00:55:55,900
[Arthur] Ow!
875
00:55:55,900 --> 00:55:57,400
[Marvin] Unbelievable!
876
00:55:57,500 --> 00:56:01,800
[Arthur] l'm in. l'm in.
Okay, Ford, do you have any idea?
877
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:03,500
[Ford] We'll press this.
878
00:56:03,700 --> 00:56:05,800
[Arthur] Oh, no, no, no, no.
879
00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:08,800
- [Ford] This button.
- Okay. Nothing's... Okay!
880
00:56:08,900 --> 00:56:11,900
Good man, good man, good man.
881
00:56:12,100 --> 00:56:15,700
- Okay, we're wobbling...
- You forgot your towel.
882
00:56:15,700 --> 00:56:18,200
[Arthur] Get him off me! l'll kill him!
883
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:20,900
- Okay, Ford, there's a...
- [Ford] ls that better?
884
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:23,000
No, that's worse, that's worse.
885
00:56:23,100 --> 00:56:26,400
- Do what... l don't need that.
- Okay.
886
00:56:26,500 --> 00:56:29,200
[Arthur] Stop the rocking.
Marvin, any ideas?
887
00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:32,800
[Marvin] l have a million ideas.
They all point to certain death.
888
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:34,400
[Arthur] Thanks, Marv.
889
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:45,900
[distant thunder]
890
00:56:46,100 --> 00:56:51,300
[crab] Ooh, ooh. Eee. Ooh, ooh.
891
00:56:53,300 --> 00:56:55,800
[whine of spaceship plummeting]
892
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:59,400
- [crash]
- [crab] Whoo!
893
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:01,000
[explosion]
894
00:57:01,100 --> 00:57:04,100
[crab] Whee! Whee!
895
00:57:12,900 --> 00:57:14,600
[crab] Yeah! Yeah!
896
00:57:15,900 --> 00:57:19,200
[coughing]
897
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:24,400
- Magrathea!
- [Ford] No, we're on the Vogon planet.
898
00:57:24,500 --> 00:57:27,200
- Yes, it is. lt's Magrathea!
- This is Vogsphere.
899
00:57:27,300 --> 00:57:30,500
- Yeah, Magrathea. l know it.
- No, it's not.
900
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:33,900
- There is no Magrathea.
- Yes, it is.
901
00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:37,300
- What are you doing?
- They took my head.
902
00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:40,300
They have these
on Arcturan megafreighters.
903
00:57:40,300 --> 00:57:42,800
They use them when
they need to concentrate.
904
00:57:42,900 --> 00:57:45,100
- What is it?
- lt's a thinking cap.
905
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:47,600
[pulsing]
906
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:51,900
- [Ford] There you go.
- [pulsing stops]
907
00:57:56,200 --> 00:57:59,900
Should give him some zest
for about ten minutes or so.
908
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:04,400
[Marvin] Now l'm feeling
much better about our predicament.
909
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:08,200
[crash]
910
00:58:24,700 --> 00:58:28,800
[Ford] l checked the Guide for how
to rescue a prisoner from Vogsphere.
911
00:58:28,900 --> 00:58:32,100
lt said don't.
l'm assuming you have a better plan.
912
00:58:32,300 --> 00:58:34,800
Well, l kind of had this idea
that we could... Ow!
913
00:58:36,700 --> 00:58:39,000
- Did anyone see that?
- See what?
914
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:41,100
- What was it?
- [Arthur] Uh...
915
00:58:41,100 --> 00:58:45,400
Nothing, it's, uh, nothing.
lt's just my imagination.
916
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:49,900
Okay, right. Now, everyone just stop
a minute, please, and look at me.
917
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:54,800
There's... definitely
something going on here.
918
00:58:54,900 --> 00:58:58,900
Just... just watch.
919
00:58:58,900 --> 00:59:02,400
Just watch.
920
00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:06,700
Okay, l think we...
921
00:59:06,900 --> 00:59:09,000
- Oooh!
- Ah-ha! You too!
922
00:59:10,700 --> 00:59:13,000
Yeah, what was that?
923
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,100
l thi...
924
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:18,400
Zaphod, what do you think?
925
00:59:21,700 --> 00:59:26,400
l think... Ow! Zarquon!
What was that? Jeez!
926
00:59:26,500 --> 00:59:30,100
l'd make a suggestion,
but you wouldn't listen.
927
00:59:30,100 --> 00:59:33,000
- No one ever does.
- [Ford] l have an idea.
928
00:59:33,100 --> 00:59:36,200
Ooh, ooh, ooh, Ford!
Kill it! Get rid of it!
929
00:59:44,700 --> 00:59:47,500
Okay, don't think.
930
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:50,100
Nobody think. No ideas.
931
00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,400
No theories. No nothing.
932
00:59:55,900 --> 00:59:58,400
[All] Ow!
933
00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:01,100
This is crazy.
Trillian is in there somewhere.
934
01:00:01,100 --> 01:00:05,900
- We need an idea to save her.
- [Zaphod] l have an ide...
935
01:00:06,200 --> 01:00:08,300
- Ah! Run!
- Yeeaaghh!
936
01:00:30,100 --> 01:00:32,900
[Zaphod imitates kung-fu cries]
937
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:35,400
[Arthur] Ooh! Ah!
938
01:00:35,300 --> 01:00:37,400
[tram bell rings]
939
01:00:37,700 --> 01:00:39,800
[Vogon] You're supposed to stop.
940
01:00:41,300 --> 01:00:47,400
[police siren]
941
01:00:48,900 --> 01:00:53,200
Okay, so l'm not thinking.
Not thinking. No ideas coming.
942
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:59,200
Okay, this isn't an idea
that has any merit at all,
943
01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:03,300
but, Marvin, can you give me a hand?
944
01:01:05,500 --> 01:01:07,600
Okay, where is she?!
945
01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:13,700
Who, the director of robot arm repair?
946
01:01:15,200 --> 01:01:19,700
Tricia Yggarstuk McMillanus
of... Blaard?
947
01:01:19,900 --> 01:01:23,100
No, Tricia Marie McMillan of Earth.
948
01:01:23,300 --> 01:01:24,900
Oh. Right.
949
01:01:24,900 --> 01:01:27,400
[keys clank]
950
01:01:27,300 --> 01:01:29,700
[computer squeaks and squeals]
951
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:34,700
Sorry, no record of Earth.
952
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:38,400
Galactic sector
ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha?
953
01:01:38,700 --> 01:01:42,200
- Oh, yes.
- [Questular] She's lying.
954
01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:47,000
She's skinny, and she's pretty,
and she's lying.
955
01:01:47,100 --> 01:01:50,800
- Mmmm.
- [Vogon clerk] Here we are. Earth.
956
01:01:50,900 --> 01:01:54,300
Oh. Um, ''destroyed.''
957
01:01:54,500 --> 01:01:57,900
Um, do you have
a second home planet?
958
01:01:57,900 --> 01:02:01,400
- Destroyed? That's impossible.
- That's what it says here.
959
01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:06,600
Says it was destroyed to make way
for a hyperspace expressway.
960
01:02:06,700 --> 01:02:09,700
[electronic pulses]
961
01:02:09,900 --> 01:02:12,500
[explosion]
962
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:17,300
Who in their right mind
gives an order to destroy a planet?
963
01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:23,400
- He said the gray building, right?
- All the buildings are gray.
964
01:02:23,600 --> 01:02:27,000
''Give me a hand.'' Ha-ha, very funny.
965
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:30,500
How am l supposed to drive this pod
with one arm? Stupid human.
966
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:38,000
[Vogon clerk #2]
Go and fill that in.
967
01:02:38,100 --> 01:02:41,400
Then, make sure, when you fill in
the facilitating form...
968
01:02:41,500 --> 01:02:46,400
Leave this to me. l'm British.
l know how to queue.
969
01:02:46,600 --> 01:02:50,500
[Vogon clerk #2]
lf you'd fill that form in for me,
970
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:53,100
and return it as soon as possible.
971
01:02:53,300 --> 01:02:57,600
- Writing implements to your left...
- You're President. Can you do anything?
972
01:02:57,600 --> 01:03:02,500
Presidents don't have power. Their job
is to draw attention away from it.
973
01:03:04,700 --> 01:03:06,700
Hey, how you doin'?
974
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:11,300
Hey, it's me, your President!
What's goin' on? Thanks for coming.
975
01:03:11,500 --> 01:03:14,300
All right. l know that sponge.
All right!
976
01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:16,800
- Next!
- President coming through.
977
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:20,000
How you doin', Pinhead?
No, really, it's me.
978
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:22,600
l love kabuki. Look at that.
979
01:03:22,700 --> 01:03:25,600
- [Arthur] Out the way.
- [alien roars]
980
01:03:26,500 --> 01:03:28,800
- Give us a kiss!
- [alien squeals]
981
01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:32,600
Hi, l've come about
release of a prisoner.
982
01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:36,400
Prisoner release form.
983
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:38,000
Oh, wha...?
984
01:03:38,100 --> 01:03:40,300
l don't believe you.
985
01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:43,000
These are the orders.
986
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:49,100
''Love and kisses''?!
987
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:53,800
Mm. Now, according
to the Galactic Penal Code,
988
01:03:53,900 --> 01:03:58,700
the punishment for
a presidential kidnapping
989
01:03:58,700 --> 01:04:02,400
is to be fed to
the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.
990
01:04:03,400 --> 01:04:05,400
Good day.
991
01:04:05,500 --> 01:04:08,200
[Trillian] Ow, get off of me!
992
01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:11,800
Ow! What the hell is that?
993
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:18,400
Ow, no, wait, wait! There's been
some kind of mistake. Ah!
994
01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:25,000
- Tick all the boxes on the right.
- Right. Got it.
995
01:04:25,100 --> 01:04:27,100
Not that one!
996
01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:31,500
[Guide] What to do if you find yourself
stuck with no hope of rescue.
997
01:04:31,700 --> 01:04:36,000
Consider how lucky you are
that life has been good to you so far.
998
01:04:36,100 --> 01:04:39,500
Alternatively, if life
hasn't been good to you so far,
999
01:04:39,500 --> 01:04:42,700
which, given your current circumstances
seems more likely,
1000
01:04:42,700 --> 01:04:46,900
consider how lucky you are that
it won't be troubling you much longer.
1001
01:04:47,100 --> 01:04:50,300
[Trillian growls]
1002
01:04:50,200 --> 01:04:53,100
Right, there we go.
1003
01:04:53,400 --> 01:04:55,800
Oh, kidnapping the President.
1004
01:04:55,700 --> 01:05:00,200
Oh, no, she's not eligible
for release at this time.
1005
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:03,600
Okay. Right.
Look, this is the President.
1006
01:05:03,500 --> 01:05:05,600
- [Vogon] Oh!
- Okay. See, there?
1007
01:05:05,900 --> 01:05:09,600
He says the kidnapping business
was a horrible misunderstanding.
1008
01:05:09,500 --> 01:05:11,100
Oh, yeah.
1009
01:05:11,100 --> 01:05:14,800
[Arthur] She meant nothing by it.
He's ordering you to let her go.
1010
01:05:14,900 --> 01:05:19,600
But this isn't a presidential
release of prisoner form.
1011
01:05:19,800 --> 01:05:23,000
Those are blue.
1012
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:27,100
- l'll stay here.
- All right. Hold that. Okay. Wai...
1013
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:29,700
- [roars]
- [Trillian screams]
1014
01:05:31,800 --> 01:05:35,900
Oh, he's hungry today. [chuckles]
1015
01:05:36,700 --> 01:05:38,200
That's blue. Right.
1016
01:05:40,500 --> 01:05:43,400
- [Ford] l'm not a journalist.
- We're just hanging out.
1017
01:05:43,400 --> 01:05:46,700
Okay, this is, uh,
it's for Tricia McMillan.
1018
01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:51,100
Tricia McMillan. Mm. Okay.
1019
01:05:52,500 --> 01:05:56,600
[minion] Sir, it's a release form.
1020
01:05:56,700 --> 01:05:58,000
Thank you.
1021
01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:01,100
She's free to go.
1022
01:06:01,200 --> 01:06:04,400
- Release her.
- [Trillian screams]
1023
01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:10,000
Zaphod's here.
Well, then, uh, that's fine then.
1024
01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:12,600
Let's just go and get him.
1025
01:06:20,200 --> 01:06:22,900
Who are we waiting for again?
1026
01:06:26,900 --> 01:06:28,200
No, l'm serious.
1027
01:06:30,900 --> 01:06:33,200
Tricia!
1028
01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:38,800
- Tricia.
- [Zaphod] Trill.
1029
01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:41,700
- Hey, come on.
- You idiot!
1030
01:06:41,900 --> 01:06:43,900
You signed the order to destroy Earth.
1031
01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:45,800
- He did?
- l did?
1032
01:06:45,900 --> 01:06:50,400
Yes. ''Love and kisses, Zaphod''?
You didn't even read it, did you?
1033
01:06:50,400 --> 01:06:55,200
Honey, l'm President of the Galaxy.
l don't get a lot of time for reading.
1034
01:06:57,300 --> 01:06:59,100
An entire planet, my home,
1035
01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:02,300
destroyed because you thought
they wanted your autograph.
1036
01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:05,200
- [Zaphod] They framed me!
- Are you an idiot?
1037
01:07:05,100 --> 01:07:09,100
- Trillian.
- You knew. Why didn't you tell me?
1038
01:07:09,200 --> 01:07:13,300
- He threatened me.
- Get a backbone, Arthur.
1039
01:07:13,400 --> 01:07:18,500
Oh, a backbone? What about coming here
to rescue you? Thank you. My idea. Oh!
1040
01:07:19,700 --> 01:07:22,700
Stupid!
1041
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:28,400
- Got your arm.
- [Marvin] How considerate.
1042
01:07:28,400 --> 01:07:32,800
Right, then, all those lucky enough
to have two arms, hold tight.
1043
01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:52,600
Oh, the President tests my patience.
1044
01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:57,700
This time l shall pursue him myself.
Ready my ship.
1045
01:07:57,700 --> 01:08:00,700
Fantastic. At last.
1046
01:08:00,700 --> 01:08:02,700
[whistle sounds]
1047
01:08:05,300 --> 01:08:09,300
Oh. That's one hour for lunch,
everybody.
1048
01:08:09,900 --> 01:08:13,400
l think l'll have soup today.
1049
01:08:14,200 --> 01:08:17,700
[Guide] The Encyclopedia Galactica,
in its chapter on love,
1050
01:08:17,800 --> 01:08:21,300
states that it is
far too complicated to define.
1051
01:08:21,300 --> 01:08:25,800
The Hitchhiker's Guide
to the Galaxy has this to say on love.
1052
01:08:26,000 --> 01:08:28,500
''Avoid, if at all possible. ''
1053
01:08:28,500 --> 01:08:31,400
Unfortunately,
Arthur Dent has never read
1054
01:08:31,500 --> 01:08:33,900
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
1055
01:08:34,200 --> 01:08:38,100
- Oh, l'm so sorry.
- No, come in.
1056
01:08:38,200 --> 01:08:40,500
l... l didn't...
1057
01:08:40,600 --> 01:08:45,100
Um, look, uh...
1058
01:08:45,200 --> 01:08:48,100
Trillian, l just wanted to say,
you were right,
1059
01:08:48,200 --> 01:08:53,000
l should've told you, and l understand
totally if you're angry with me.
1060
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:57,400
Um, for what it's worth,
l know how you must be feeling...
1061
01:08:59,100 --> 01:09:03,400
- Can you hand me a towel?
- Yeah, sure, this...
1062
01:09:05,000 --> 01:09:07,000
Thank you.
1063
01:09:07,200 --> 01:09:10,200
[Arthur] Actually,
what l was going to say was...
1064
01:09:11,400 --> 01:09:16,400
...if l'd said yes to you
and gone to Madagascar,
1065
01:09:16,400 --> 01:09:20,300
then neither of us would be here now.
1066
01:09:20,500 --> 01:09:24,200
l just thought that might
count for something.
1067
01:09:27,600 --> 01:09:29,500
lt doesn't matter.
1068
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:31,900
[Arthur sighs]
1069
01:09:34,200 --> 01:09:36,300
[door sighs]
1070
01:09:41,400 --> 01:09:43,900
[door sighs]
1071
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:58,600
All right, computer, take us to...
Where are we... Where we headed again?
1072
01:09:58,600 --> 01:10:02,100
Okay, l'm gonna get you
another lemon.
1073
01:10:02,200 --> 01:10:04,200
All right.
1074
01:10:07,700 --> 01:10:10,900
[computer]
Engaging Improbability Drive.
1075
01:10:10,900 --> 01:10:14,800
[Ford] No, Zaphod, no.
Buttons are not toys. What did you do?
1076
01:10:15,000 --> 01:10:16,800
Magrathean coordinates accepted.
1077
01:10:16,900 --> 01:10:18,000
- [blast off]
- [squeaks]
1078
01:10:17,900 --> 01:10:20,700
- [blast off]
- [squeaks]
1079
01:10:20,800 --> 01:10:23,900
[blast]
1080
01:10:24,700 --> 01:10:27,300
[computer]
It blows my circuits to tell you
1081
01:10:27,400 --> 01:10:30,800
that we're in orbit,
at an altitude of 300 miles,
1082
01:10:30,800 --> 01:10:34,400
around the legendary planet
of Magrathea.
1083
01:10:34,600 --> 01:10:37,300
Magrathea! Magrathea!
1084
01:10:38,500 --> 01:10:41,000
Magrathea!
1085
01:10:42,800 --> 01:10:44,900
- [sighs]
- [Zaphod] Unbelievable.
1086
01:10:48,500 --> 01:10:51,400
[Marvin] lncredible.
1087
01:10:51,500 --> 01:10:54,000
lt's even worse
than l thought it would be.
1088
01:10:55,200 --> 01:10:59,500
[man] Greetings. This is a recorded
announcement as we are all out.
1089
01:10:59,600 --> 01:11:03,000
The Commercial Council of Magrathea
thanks you for your visit,
1090
01:11:03,100 --> 01:11:06,500
but regrets that the entire planet
is temporarily closed.
1091
01:11:06,500 --> 01:11:10,300
If you'd like to leave your name
and a planet where you can be contacted,
1092
01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:12,500
kindly do so at the tone.
1093
01:11:13,600 --> 01:11:17,600
- How can a planet be closed?
- Zarkin' A, cousin.
1094
01:11:17,600 --> 01:11:21,100
Okay, computer, keep going.
Take us down.
1095
01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:22,700
[computer] I'd be happy to.
1096
01:11:22,900 --> 01:11:24,300
[electronic tone]
1097
01:11:24,400 --> 01:11:27,100
[message] It is gratifying
that your enthusiasm
1098
01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:29,200
for our planet continues unabated.
1099
01:11:29,600 --> 01:11:32,200
As a token of our appreciation,
1100
01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:35,200
we hope you will enjoy
the two thermo-nuclear missiles
1101
01:11:35,400 --> 01:11:38,700
we've just sent
to converge with your craft.
1102
01:11:39,400 --> 01:11:41,800
To ensure on-going quality of service,
1103
01:11:41,900 --> 01:11:46,200
your death may be monitored
for training purposes. Thank you.
1104
01:11:46,200 --> 01:11:48,200
[computer] I'm delighted to tell you
1105
01:11:48,300 --> 01:11:51,200
there are two nuclear missiles
heading right for us.
1106
01:11:51,200 --> 01:11:54,600
If you don't mind,
I'm going to take evasive action.
1107
01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:56,300
[engines whoosh]
1108
01:11:56,500 --> 01:11:58,300
[shouts and cries]
1109
01:11:58,900 --> 01:12:02,200
[computer] Something's jamming
my guidance system.
1110
01:12:02,200 --> 01:12:04,200
Impact minus 45 seconds.
1111
01:12:08,000 --> 01:12:10,100
Computer, do something!
1112
01:12:10,300 --> 01:12:14,500
[computer] Sure. Handing over
manual control. Good luck.
1113
01:12:16,300 --> 01:12:18,100
[brakes screech]
1114
01:12:18,200 --> 01:12:21,300
[missiles whoosh]
1115
01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:28,000
[Zaphod] l need some help.
1116
01:12:28,100 --> 01:12:30,600
l can't do this without my third arm.
1117
01:12:32,900 --> 01:12:35,700
- [clunk]
- Arthur, grab my hand!
1118
01:12:39,900 --> 01:12:43,100
[shouts and groans]
1119
01:12:43,100 --> 01:12:46,000
[engines roar]
1120
01:12:46,100 --> 01:12:49,900
- Did we lose 'em?
- No, they're coming right at us.
1121
01:12:52,500 --> 01:12:56,200
- Why don't l just press this?
- No, we're not back to normal yet.
1122
01:12:56,300 --> 01:12:58,300
- What will happen?
- l don't know.
1123
01:12:58,400 --> 01:13:02,400
Don't do it! We're here.
No telling where it'll send us.
1124
01:13:05,900 --> 01:13:07,400
- Sod it all.
- No!
1125
01:13:08,500 --> 01:13:11,200
[silence]
1126
01:13:11,400 --> 01:13:14,700
Wow. Where are we?
1127
01:13:17,200 --> 01:13:21,900
Exactly where we were.
1128
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:23,300
And the missiles?
1129
01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:29,900
Apparently, they've turned...
into a bowl of petunias.
1130
01:13:30,600 --> 01:13:34,300
- [clunk]
- And a very surprised-looking whale.
1131
01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:41,700
[computer] And an improbability factor
of 8,767, 1 28 to 1 against.
1132
01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:45,500
We have norm... normality.
1133
01:13:45,600 --> 01:13:48,000
Normality, right. [coughs]
1134
01:13:48,100 --> 01:13:51,000
We can talk about normality
till the cows come home.
1135
01:13:52,200 --> 01:13:55,200
- What is normal?
- What's home?
1136
01:13:55,400 --> 01:13:57,000
What are cows?
1137
01:13:58,200 --> 01:14:01,100
A proper cup of tea
would restore my normality.
1138
01:14:01,200 --> 01:14:05,400
[Guide] It is important to note that
suddenly, and against all probability,
1139
01:14:05,500 --> 01:14:08,400
a sperm whale had been
called into existence
1140
01:14:08,500 --> 01:14:12,600
several miles above
the surface of an alien planet.
1141
01:14:12,700 --> 01:14:15,500
Since this is not a tenable
position for a whale,
1142
01:14:15,600 --> 01:14:20,600
this innocent creature had very little
time to come to terms with its identity.
1143
01:14:20,700 --> 01:14:23,300
This is what it thought as it fell:
1144
01:14:23,400 --> 01:14:26,600
Ah, whoa, what's happening? Who am I?
1145
01:14:26,700 --> 01:14:30,300
Why am I here? What's my purpose?
What do I mean by who am I?
1146
01:14:30,400 --> 01:14:32,600
Okay, Okay, calm down, get a grip now.
1147
01:14:32,700 --> 01:14:36,700
Ooh, this is an interesting sensation.
A sort of tingling in my...
1148
01:14:36,800 --> 01:14:41,900
I better start finding names for things.
Let's call it a tail. Yeah, tail.
1149
01:14:42,000 --> 01:14:46,000
What's this roaring sound whooshing past
what I'm gonna call my head?
1150
01:14:46,200 --> 01:14:48,300
Wind. Is that a good name? That'll do.
1151
01:14:48,400 --> 01:14:51,600
Yay, this is really exciting.
I'm dizzy with anticipation.
1152
01:14:51,700 --> 01:14:54,300
Or is it the wind?
There's a lot of that now.
1153
01:14:54,400 --> 01:14:58,400
And what's this thing coming towards me
very fast? So big and flat and round.
1154
01:14:58,500 --> 01:15:03,600
It needs a big wide-sounding name
like ow, ound, round, ground!
1155
01:15:03,700 --> 01:15:08,300
That's it, ground. I wonder if it will
be friends with me. Hello, ground.
1156
01:15:08,400 --> 01:15:10,600
[thud]
1157
01:15:10,700 --> 01:15:14,500
[Guide] The only thing that went through
the mind of the bowl of petunias
1158
01:15:14,600 --> 01:15:18,600
as it fell was, ''Oh, no, not again!''
1159
01:15:19,800 --> 01:15:25,500
Many have speculated that if we knew
why the petunias had thought that,
1160
01:15:25,600 --> 01:15:30,900
we should know a lot more about the
nature of the universe than we do now.
1161
01:15:31,000 --> 01:15:35,200
[wind blows]
1162
01:15:35,300 --> 01:15:37,500
[Arthur] What are those things?
1163
01:15:37,600 --> 01:15:41,000
[Ford] They're portals
to another dimension.
1164
01:15:41,100 --> 01:15:45,500
[Arthur] Right. l don't suppose this
portal has central heating, does it?
1165
01:15:46,800 --> 01:15:50,800
- [Zaphod mumbles]
- [Arthur sighs]
1166
01:15:50,900 --> 01:15:53,400
[Zaphod] Ah, this is the one.
1167
01:15:53,500 --> 01:15:58,000
[Marvin] This will all end in tears,
l just know it.
1168
01:16:00,800 --> 01:16:03,000
- Right here.
- [machine starts up]
1169
01:16:03,100 --> 01:16:07,300
- Hey! Whoa!
- [roaring wind]
1170
01:16:07,400 --> 01:16:09,900
Okay, in we go!
1171
01:16:09,900 --> 01:16:15,100
We can't just step into that... that!
We don't know where it leads.
1172
01:16:15,200 --> 01:16:17,300
lf we pick the wrong one,
1173
01:16:17,400 --> 01:16:21,100
we just... we come back,
we pick another one. lt's no biggie.
1174
01:16:21,300 --> 01:16:24,800
[Arthur] What? Yeah, it's a big biggie,
Ford. A big biggie.
1175
01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:30,000
What if it rips us all into
tiny little atomic particle thingies?
1176
01:16:30,000 --> 01:16:33,600
This is the right one. l have a hunch.
1177
01:16:33,700 --> 01:16:37,900
- Ford!
- His hunches are good.
1178
01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:40,400
Arthur, l say we go.
1179
01:16:40,500 --> 01:16:46,300
Go with the hunch of a man
whose brain is fuelled by lemons?!
1180
01:16:46,400 --> 01:16:48,100
[Arthur] This is suicide!
1181
01:16:48,100 --> 01:16:52,200
- l think l resent that.
- [Arthur] l don't care.
1182
01:16:52,300 --> 01:16:55,200
[Zaphod] l'm getting hostility
from you, Alex...
1183
01:16:55,300 --> 01:16:58,800
- Arthur!
- [Zaphod] Have you ever tried yoga?
1184
01:16:58,900 --> 01:16:59,900
[portal roars]
1185
01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:03,600
- Trillian!
- l think that's supposed to happen.
1186
01:17:08,500 --> 01:17:11,900
[High-pitched] She's gone!
Ford, she's gone!
1187
01:17:12,000 --> 01:17:15,000
Arthur, don't panic!
1188
01:17:16,700 --> 01:17:20,600
- Ford!
- [Zaphod] Hey, wait for me!
1189
01:17:21,300 --> 01:17:23,700
Whoo!
1190
01:17:23,700 --> 01:17:26,600
[Arthur whimpers]
1191
01:17:34,200 --> 01:17:35,900
Come on.
1192
01:17:36,000 --> 01:17:42,000
ldiot! Come on, come on,
come on, come on!
1193
01:17:45,700 --> 01:17:48,100
Ahhh!
1194
01:17:49,100 --> 01:17:50,600
[silence]
1195
01:17:51,400 --> 01:17:54,800
[coughs and splutters]
1196
01:17:57,500 --> 01:17:59,600
[groans and grunts]
1197
01:18:03,100 --> 01:18:06,800
No, no, no, don't leave.
Come on, come on, just start!
1198
01:18:06,800 --> 01:18:10,000
[Marvin]
l told you this would end in tears.
1199
01:18:10,100 --> 01:18:12,200
[Arthur] Did you? Did you?
1200
01:18:15,100 --> 01:18:19,900
[Arthur breathes heavily]
1201
01:18:20,000 --> 01:18:23,200
[Zaphod from above] Geronimo!
1202
01:18:23,300 --> 01:18:25,800
Ooomph! [laughs]
1203
01:18:25,900 --> 01:18:30,400
Far out! Far out! Ha-ha!
1204
01:18:30,400 --> 01:18:35,100
This is it. This is it!
Deep Thought. l'm a-coming.
1205
01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:44,300
[Arthur chuckles] So, this is how
it's all going to end, is it?
1206
01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:49,300
Me, alone on a dead planet,
with a manically depressed robot.
1207
01:18:49,400 --> 01:18:51,800
[Marvin]
You think you've got problems.
1208
01:18:51,900 --> 01:18:54,500
What if you are
a manically depressed robot?
1209
01:18:54,600 --> 01:18:55,800
[man] Excuse me.
1210
01:18:55,800 --> 01:18:59,800
- [Arthur] Aaaaagghhh!
- [man] Whoa, whoa.
1211
01:19:02,800 --> 01:19:07,500
- Who are you?
- No, uh, my name is not important.
1212
01:19:07,600 --> 01:19:11,100
Uh, you must come with me.
1213
01:19:11,200 --> 01:19:15,500
- Get away.
- [man] Terrible events are afoot.
1214
01:19:15,600 --> 01:19:19,100
Um, you... you must come
or you'll be late.
1215
01:19:19,200 --> 01:19:21,500
- [Arthur] Late? What for?
- What?
1216
01:19:21,500 --> 01:19:27,100
No, no. What's...
what's your name, Earthman?
1217
01:19:28,000 --> 01:19:30,400
- Dent. Arthur Dent.
- [man] Well...
1218
01:19:30,500 --> 01:19:33,200
late as in
''the late Dentarthurdent.''
1219
01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:37,900
lt's a sort of threat, do you see? No.
1220
01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:41,000
- No.
- [man] Your friends are safe.
1221
01:19:41,100 --> 01:19:44,300
- You can trust me.
- A man who won't tell me his name?
1222
01:19:44,400 --> 01:19:49,200
Okay, my name is, um...
1223
01:19:49,200 --> 01:19:53,200
...my name is... is...
is... Slartibartfast.
1224
01:19:55,300 --> 01:19:58,400
l... l... l said it wasn't important.
1225
01:20:00,100 --> 01:20:04,300
Well... so my friends are safe?
1226
01:20:04,400 --> 01:20:05,800
Let me show you.
1227
01:20:05,900 --> 01:20:11,800
[Marvin] l could calculate your chances
of survival, but you won't like it.
1228
01:20:20,800 --> 01:20:22,600
[clank]
1229
01:20:36,700 --> 01:20:39,500
Did you know we built planets?
1230
01:20:39,600 --> 01:20:43,700
Oh, yes, fascinating trade.
1231
01:20:43,700 --> 01:20:48,400
Doing the, um... doing the coastlines
was always my favorite.
1232
01:20:48,500 --> 01:20:54,200
We used to have endless fun doing the
little fiddly bits around the fjords.
1233
01:20:54,300 --> 01:20:59,300
But then the galactic economy collapsed,
and seeing that custom-built planets
1234
01:20:59,400 --> 01:21:04,900
are a... are a bit of
a luxury commodity...
1235
01:21:05,000 --> 01:21:08,800
Come with me because there's
been a terrible mix-up with your planet.
1236
01:21:08,900 --> 01:21:11,200
Best laid plans of mice, you know.
1237
01:21:11,300 --> 01:21:14,700
- And men.
- What?
1238
01:21:14,800 --> 01:21:16,800
Best laid plans of mice and men.
1239
01:21:16,900 --> 01:21:21,600
[laughs] Yes, well, l don't think men
have much to do with it. Here.
1240
01:21:24,200 --> 01:21:26,300
[vibrations]
1241
01:21:36,900 --> 01:21:41,400
- [engine starting up]
- [beeps]
1242
01:21:52,100 --> 01:21:54,100
[siren]
1243
01:22:01,700 --> 01:22:04,600
- [explosion]
- Um, l must warn you,
1244
01:22:04,700 --> 01:22:08,200
we're going to pass through,
well, a sort of gateway thing.
1245
01:22:08,300 --> 01:22:10,500
- Huh?
- lt may disturb you.
1246
01:22:10,600 --> 01:22:14,400
lt scares the willies out of me.
1247
01:22:14,500 --> 01:22:16,500
Aghh! Aghh!
1248
01:22:42,900 --> 01:22:48,700
[Slartibartfast] Ha, ha, ha.
Welcome to our factory floor.
1249
01:23:05,600 --> 01:23:08,800
[grunts and groans]
1250
01:23:09,800 --> 01:23:11,600
[Trillian] Okay.
1251
01:23:11,700 --> 01:23:15,100
[Zaphod] All right. All right.
1252
01:23:15,200 --> 01:23:18,100
Yeah, this is it.
1253
01:23:21,100 --> 01:23:23,600
This is it.
1254
01:23:23,700 --> 01:23:27,600
O great Deep Thought!
1255
01:23:27,700 --> 01:23:29,400
We have traveled long...
1256
01:23:31,500 --> 01:23:33,300
...and far.
1257
01:23:33,400 --> 01:23:38,900
Have you calculated
the ultimate question of life,
1258
01:23:39,000 --> 01:23:41,400
the universe and everything?
1259
01:23:41,400 --> 01:23:43,200
[Deep Thought yawns] No.
1260
01:23:43,300 --> 01:23:45,900
- [Zaphod] What?
- I've been watching TV.
1261
01:23:46,000 --> 01:23:47,000
Oh.
1262
01:23:47,100 --> 01:23:50,800
I designed
another computer to do that.
1263
01:23:50,900 --> 01:23:53,200
Oh, right, l forgot. ls it here?
1264
01:23:53,300 --> 01:23:56,000
No, it's not here. It's another world.
1265
01:23:56,100 --> 01:23:58,300
lt's on another world.
1266
01:23:58,400 --> 01:24:01,900
It is another world, stupid.
1267
01:24:01,900 --> 01:24:04,400
Or it was until the Vogons destroyed it
1268
01:24:04,500 --> 01:24:06,800
to make way
for a hyperspace expressway.
1269
01:24:07,000 --> 01:24:09,300
Well... Okay.
1270
01:24:09,400 --> 01:24:11,400
You sure you don't have the question,
1271
01:24:11,600 --> 01:24:15,100
or a way to, you know,
access it or something?
1272
01:24:15,200 --> 01:24:17,100
'Cause l think l've done
a lot to get here.
1273
01:24:17,200 --> 01:24:21,700
Oh, shh, shh. The show's back on.
1274
01:24:23,700 --> 01:24:25,900
[hiccup]
1275
01:24:26,000 --> 01:24:30,100
Well, l don't wanna bother you,
so l'm gonna... Good stuff.
1276
01:24:30,200 --> 01:24:34,600
Great. l'm gonna go and find something
else for my entire life to be about.
1277
01:24:34,700 --> 01:24:38,000
[Ford] Zaphod, Zaphod,
there's the... the gun.
1278
01:24:38,100 --> 01:24:40,400
- Gun?
- That Humma sent you for.
1279
01:24:40,500 --> 01:24:44,900
- You gave him your head.
- Why'd l... Why'd l do that?
1280
01:24:45,000 --> 01:24:46,700
- Okay.
- That's stupid.
1281
01:24:46,800 --> 01:24:51,900
O Deep Thought,
we were told that there is a gun.
1282
01:24:53,600 --> 01:24:56,900
[crashing and rumbling]
1283
01:25:03,500 --> 01:25:05,500
[cart squeals]
1284
01:25:06,700 --> 01:25:09,000
- There you are.
- Hm?
1285
01:25:09,100 --> 01:25:10,800
Look familiar?
1286
01:25:10,900 --> 01:25:14,400
[Arthur] So it wasn't destroyed?
1287
01:25:14,500 --> 01:25:18,800
Actually, it was.
This is a backup. Earth Mark ll.
1288
01:25:21,800 --> 01:25:23,600
So you... you made the Earth?
1289
01:25:23,700 --> 01:25:27,400
[chuckles] Not me alone,
but l... l did my part.
1290
01:25:27,500 --> 01:25:30,700
Ever heard of a place,
l think it's called Norway?
1291
01:25:30,800 --> 01:25:34,700
That was one of mine.
l... l got an award for it.
1292
01:25:35,900 --> 01:25:37,800
[Arthur shrieks]
1293
01:25:38,500 --> 01:25:41,500
[Arthur's shrieks grow louder]
1294
01:25:42,100 --> 01:25:44,300
[Arthur] Oh, hoo!
1295
01:25:44,400 --> 01:25:47,800
[Slartibartfast] All right, Frank?
That's... that's Frank.
1296
01:25:48,800 --> 01:25:53,600
Ah-ha. They...
they've nearly finished the oceans.
1297
01:26:01,700 --> 01:26:03,100
[Ford] Zaphod.
1298
01:26:03,200 --> 01:26:05,200
Here, it's...
1299
01:26:07,700 --> 01:26:10,700
...it's just like Humma said.
1300
01:26:10,800 --> 01:26:13,400
- Now you can go get your head back.
- Hey, Ford.
1301
01:26:13,500 --> 01:26:16,000
lt's been nice knowing you,
you zarking frood.
1302
01:26:16,100 --> 01:26:17,200
- No!
- [gun blast]
1303
01:26:17,100 --> 01:26:19,400
- Whoa!
- This is a bust too.
1304
01:26:19,500 --> 01:26:25,100
H... H... Hey, man. You know,
you must really be frustrated.
1305
01:26:25,200 --> 01:26:28,100
You go through all you have,
you don't get an answer,
1306
01:26:28,200 --> 01:26:30,800
which means no money or fame,
which you deserve...
1307
01:26:30,900 --> 01:26:33,500
[Guide] The Point-of-View Gun,
conveniently,
1308
01:26:33,600 --> 01:26:36,000
does precisely what its name suggests.
1309
01:26:36,200 --> 01:26:38,700
Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic.
1310
01:26:39,800 --> 01:26:42,800
[Guide] If you point it at
someone and pull the trigger,
1311
01:26:42,800 --> 01:26:45,400
they instantly see things
from your point of view.
1312
01:26:45,500 --> 01:26:47,500
Give me that thing.
1313
01:26:47,600 --> 01:26:49,600
It was designed by Deep Thought,
1314
01:26:49,600 --> 01:26:53,500
but commissioned by a consortium
of intergalactic angry housewives
1315
01:26:53,600 --> 01:26:56,100
who, after arguments
with their husbands,
1316
01:26:56,200 --> 01:26:59,500
were sick of ending
those arguments with the phrase,
1317
01:26:59,700 --> 01:27:01,800
''You just don't get it, do you?''
1318
01:27:01,800 --> 01:27:02,800
[blast]
1319
01:27:02,900 --> 01:27:06,800
Uh, uh, and you're right,
l shouldn't be so upset
1320
01:27:06,900 --> 01:27:09,200
because life goes on, you know,
1321
01:27:09,200 --> 01:27:12,000
and l should just go on with it.
1322
01:27:12,000 --> 01:27:14,300
Shoot him again.
1323
01:27:14,400 --> 01:27:16,400
- [Zaphod] Whoa.
- [blast]
1324
01:27:17,700 --> 01:27:21,500
Hitchhiking's good. Towels are good too.
1325
01:27:21,500 --> 01:27:24,800
- [Zaphod] Say what?
- That is brilliant.
1326
01:27:24,900 --> 01:27:26,900
[Zaphod] What's goin'...?
1327
01:27:27,000 --> 01:27:29,800
l can see why Humma Kavula
would want one of these.
1328
01:27:31,100 --> 01:27:33,800
- We better get back. Arthur's waiting.
- Who cares?
1329
01:27:34,000 --> 01:27:38,500
l do. Especially since we're somewhat
of an endangered species, thanks to you.
1330
01:27:38,500 --> 01:27:40,600
[Zaphod] Why so edgy, baby doll? Relax.
1331
01:27:40,800 --> 01:27:43,500
- You wanna know why l'm edgy?
- [gun]
1332
01:27:43,600 --> 01:27:47,600
Argh. Of course you're edgy.
Your planet's been blown up
1333
01:27:47,700 --> 01:27:51,300
and you've been tooling around
with the guy who signed the order.
1334
01:27:51,400 --> 01:27:52,900
Huh?
1335
01:27:53,000 --> 01:27:55,800
Ugh! You actually wanted
to know the question
1336
01:27:56,000 --> 01:27:58,900
because you always wondered
if there was more to life
1337
01:27:58,800 --> 01:28:02,800
and now you're crushed
because you find out there really isn't.
1338
01:28:02,800 --> 01:28:07,300
Hey, fantastic. [laughs] Psychedelic.
1339
01:28:07,400 --> 01:28:09,100
[fires again]
1340
01:28:09,200 --> 01:28:12,900
You've got no home, no family,
and you're stuck with me,
1341
01:28:12,900 --> 01:28:16,600
another in a long line of men
who doesn't really get you.
1342
01:28:16,700 --> 01:28:20,400
Huh? That's not true.
1343
01:28:21,000 --> 01:28:23,700
[fires twice more]
1344
01:28:23,700 --> 01:28:28,100
And you're worried you might have blown
it with the one guy who really does.
1345
01:28:29,800 --> 01:28:31,600
Hey, whoops.
1346
01:28:33,800 --> 01:28:36,400
Oh, baby doll.
1347
01:28:36,400 --> 01:28:39,800
Give me that thing.
1348
01:28:41,300 --> 01:28:45,600
[sighs] lt won't affect me.
l'm already a woman.
1349
01:28:45,700 --> 01:28:47,200
[boom]
1350
01:28:47,200 --> 01:28:50,400
[rumble of grating stone]
1351
01:28:56,700 --> 01:28:59,000
lt's okay.
lt's only a couple of little mice!
1352
01:28:59,100 --> 01:29:02,600
[huge rumbling]
1353
01:29:02,700 --> 01:29:06,200
[Slartibartfast] Voil�!
Himalayas. Good, eh?
1354
01:29:09,600 --> 01:29:12,000
Earthman, you must realize
1355
01:29:12,200 --> 01:29:18,700
that the planet you lived on was
commissioned, paid for and run by mice.
1356
01:29:21,500 --> 01:29:24,800
When you say mice, do you mean
the little furry white creatures
1357
01:29:24,900 --> 01:29:26,800
with whiskers, ears, cheese?
1358
01:29:26,800 --> 01:29:31,800
Yeah, but they're protrusions into our
dimension of hyperintelligent beings.
1359
01:29:32,000 --> 01:29:35,500
l don't know this cheese
of which you speak,
1360
01:29:35,600 --> 01:29:39,300
but they were there on Earth
as mice experimenting on you.
1361
01:29:39,400 --> 01:29:44,400
l see where you've become confused now.
You see, we were experimenting on them.
1362
01:29:44,500 --> 01:29:48,300
Ah, no, well, yeah, no.
That's what they wanted you to think,
1363
01:29:48,400 --> 01:29:52,400
but you were actually
elements in their computer program.
1364
01:29:54,100 --> 01:29:56,500
[Arthur] Actually, this explains a lot.
1365
01:29:56,600 --> 01:29:59,300
All my life,
l've had this strange feeling
1366
01:29:59,300 --> 01:30:02,400
there's something big and sinister
going on in the world.
1367
01:30:02,500 --> 01:30:06,200
No, that's normal paranoia.
Everyone in the universe gets that.
1368
01:30:06,300 --> 01:30:08,800
[boom]
1369
01:30:09,500 --> 01:30:13,100
Perhaps l'm old and tired,
but the chances of finding out
1370
01:30:13,200 --> 01:30:15,800
what's actually going on
are so absurdly remote
1371
01:30:15,900 --> 01:30:19,900
that the only thing to do is say hang
the sense of it and keep yourself busy.
1372
01:30:20,100 --> 01:30:22,500
l'd much rather be happy
than right any day.
1373
01:30:22,700 --> 01:30:24,700
- And are you?
- Uh... no.
1374
01:30:24,800 --> 01:30:27,400
[laughs] That's where
it all falls down, of course.
1375
01:30:38,700 --> 01:30:40,800
Here you are then.
1376
01:30:55,300 --> 01:30:57,000
ls this...?
1377
01:31:10,900 --> 01:31:13,200
lt's, um... lt's all there.
1378
01:31:14,300 --> 01:31:16,600
You know, it all works.
1379
01:31:16,700 --> 01:31:18,700
Welcome home.
1380
01:31:35,500 --> 01:31:37,500
[all cheer]
1381
01:31:38,300 --> 01:31:40,600
- Hey!
- Hey, man!
1382
01:31:40,700 --> 01:31:42,800
- There you are!
- Surprise!
1383
01:31:42,900 --> 01:31:45,800
What are you doing?
What happened to you?
1384
01:31:46,000 --> 01:31:47,400
ls that tea?
1385
01:31:47,500 --> 01:31:51,800
- First, our hosts attacked us.
- Right.
1386
01:31:51,900 --> 01:31:55,400
But then they made up for it
by making us...
1387
01:31:55,500 --> 01:31:57,800
[tearfully] ...this amazing meal.
1388
01:31:58,800 --> 01:32:02,000
lt's so... Everything's right.
Everything's delicious.
1389
01:32:03,600 --> 01:32:06,300
Oh, come on, that's lovely.
1390
01:32:06,400 --> 01:32:08,700
We're glad you like it, Earth creature.
1391
01:32:12,900 --> 01:32:17,500
[chuckles nervously]
The, um, talking... talking mice. Cool.
1392
01:32:17,600 --> 01:32:22,800
- Sit, Earthman.
- Oh, thank you. Thank you for that.
1393
01:32:23,700 --> 01:32:27,200
- Please, drink.
- Um, uh, excuse me.
1394
01:32:27,300 --> 01:32:30,700
- Uh, is there anything else?
- No, we're quite happy, thank you.
1395
01:32:30,800 --> 01:32:34,500
Um, good, l'll be outside, so...
1396
01:32:34,600 --> 01:32:36,800
You were right.
1397
01:32:36,900 --> 01:32:38,700
- [Mouse] Please, drink.
- Yes.
1398
01:32:39,200 --> 01:32:41,200
He was right.
1399
01:32:41,300 --> 01:32:43,100
Now, to business.
1400
01:32:43,200 --> 01:32:45,000
[both] To business!
1401
01:32:45,200 --> 01:32:46,500
[firmly] Eat!
1402
01:32:46,600 --> 01:32:48,400
- Shh.
- Sorry.
1403
01:32:48,500 --> 01:32:51,000
[Mouse] We've spent a lot of time
on your planet
1404
01:32:51,000 --> 01:32:53,000
looking for this ultimate question.
1405
01:32:53,100 --> 01:32:56,700
Only to have it blow up
in our faces. Literally.
1406
01:32:56,800 --> 01:33:00,300
Which is why you're here.
We've been offered a lucrative contract
1407
01:33:00,400 --> 01:33:02,400
to do several 5-D TV chat shows.
1408
01:33:02,500 --> 01:33:05,000
But here's the point.
We must have product.
1409
01:33:05,100 --> 01:33:08,300
We need the ultimate question,
or one that sounds ultimate.
1410
01:33:08,400 --> 01:33:10,500
- Of course.
- We've rebuilt the planet.
1411
01:33:10,600 --> 01:33:13,700
Now all we need
is the missing piece of the puzzle.
1412
01:33:13,700 --> 01:33:15,900
- Which happens to be your brain.
- Right.
1413
01:33:16,100 --> 01:33:17,400
[Mouse] More tea?
1414
01:33:17,500 --> 01:33:20,200
Sorry, did you just say
you need my brain?
1415
01:33:20,300 --> 01:33:22,500
Yes, to complete the program.
1416
01:33:25,500 --> 01:33:28,200
You can't have my brain. l'm using it.
1417
01:33:28,300 --> 01:33:33,200
- Hardly.
- Hardly? Cheeky... Cheeky mouse.
1418
01:33:37,700 --> 01:33:40,200
Zaphod! Trillian!
1419
01:33:40,300 --> 01:33:42,600
- [whirring]
- Ford.
1420
01:33:42,700 --> 01:33:44,200
What was in that food?
1421
01:33:44,300 --> 01:33:48,000
What was in my tea?
1422
01:33:48,100 --> 01:33:50,700
Don't worry. You won't feel a thing.
1423
01:33:50,800 --> 01:33:54,000
[grunts and whimpers]
1424
01:33:54,100 --> 01:33:56,200
Just wait a sodding minute.
1425
01:33:56,300 --> 01:33:58,800
You want a question
that goes with the answer 42?
1426
01:33:58,900 --> 01:34:00,600
What about, what's 6x7?
1427
01:34:00,700 --> 01:34:04,200
Or, um, uh, how many Vogons
does it take to change a light bulb?
1428
01:34:04,300 --> 01:34:08,100
Here's one: how many roads
must a man walk down?
1429
01:34:09,500 --> 01:34:11,500
Hey, that's not bad.
1430
01:34:11,600 --> 01:34:18,000
Fine. Fine, take it, 'cause my head
is filled with questions,
1431
01:34:18,100 --> 01:34:20,300
and no answer to any one of them
1432
01:34:20,400 --> 01:34:24,000
has ever brought me
one iota of happiness.
1433
01:34:24,100 --> 01:34:25,700
Except for one.
1434
01:34:25,800 --> 01:34:28,700
The one. The only question
l've ever wanted an answer to.
1435
01:34:28,800 --> 01:34:30,400
ls she the one?
1436
01:34:31,500 --> 01:34:34,900
The answer bloody well isn't 42,
it's yes.
1437
01:34:35,000 --> 01:34:40,600
Undoubtedly, unequivocally,
unabashedly, yes.
1438
01:34:40,700 --> 01:34:43,600
And for one week,
1439
01:34:43,700 --> 01:34:48,400
one week in my sad little...
blip of an existence...
1440
01:34:50,700 --> 01:34:53,200
...it made me happy.
1441
01:34:54,900 --> 01:34:56,300
That's a good answer.
1442
01:34:56,400 --> 01:34:59,600
[mouse] We don't want to be happy.
We want to be famous.
1443
01:34:59,700 --> 01:35:03,400
- What's this ''ls she the one'' tripe?
- Take his brain!
1444
01:35:03,500 --> 01:35:06,700
No, don't take the brain!
Don't take the brain, mice!
1445
01:35:06,800 --> 01:35:09,700
[grunts]
1446
01:35:12,600 --> 01:35:14,000
[screams]
1447
01:35:15,800 --> 01:35:17,400
- [screams]
- lt wasn't me!
1448
01:35:17,500 --> 01:35:19,400
- [gibbers]
- [Zaphod] l'm famous.
1449
01:35:19,500 --> 01:35:21,900
Shoot him, quickly, shoot him!
1450
01:35:21,900 --> 01:35:23,400
Oh, bollocks!
1451
01:35:23,500 --> 01:35:25,000
Agghh!
1452
01:35:32,400 --> 01:35:33,900
l'm gonna be sick.
1453
01:35:36,700 --> 01:35:38,200
[coughs] Belgium.
1454
01:35:38,300 --> 01:35:44,400
[voices, vibrations]
1455
01:35:47,400 --> 01:35:48,800
Follow me.
1456
01:35:49,500 --> 01:35:52,000
[Vogons] Left, right, left, right.
1457
01:35:52,100 --> 01:35:54,600
Attention!
1458
01:35:58,100 --> 01:36:01,000
[Marvin] Thanks a lot
for leaving me behind.
1459
01:36:01,100 --> 01:36:03,400
Though l can't say l blame you.
1460
01:36:03,500 --> 01:36:07,200
Mr President,
we're here for your protection.
1461
01:36:07,200 --> 01:36:09,600
Thanks, man. l appreciate it.
1462
01:36:09,700 --> 01:36:11,000
Fire!
1463
01:36:12,800 --> 01:36:14,400
No! No!
1464
01:36:17,500 --> 01:36:19,600
[Marvin] What's all the fuss about?
1465
01:36:19,700 --> 01:36:22,500
Vogons are the worst marksmen
in the galaxy. Ooh.
1466
01:36:22,600 --> 01:36:27,700
- For God's sake, stop!
- Cease fire.
1467
01:36:34,400 --> 01:36:38,900
Now l've got a headache...
headache... headache...
1468
01:36:47,100 --> 01:36:49,000
Marvin!
1469
01:36:49,100 --> 01:36:50,400
[Zaphod] Oh, no.
1470
01:36:50,500 --> 01:36:55,900
- [Ford's battle shriek]
- He's got a towel, run away!
1471
01:36:58,200 --> 01:37:01,100
l'm gonna get us outta here.
How do you drive this thing?
1472
01:37:05,000 --> 01:37:08,000
We need that gun.
1473
01:37:08,100 --> 01:37:11,000
Come on. Get this ship started.
Come on. Start!
1474
01:37:12,100 --> 01:37:14,200
Come on. Oh, fire, fire!
1475
01:37:14,300 --> 01:37:15,600
Fire, fire!
1476
01:37:16,600 --> 01:37:18,800
[Arthur] Oo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!
1477
01:37:20,200 --> 01:37:22,500
[Vogon] He's locked it
from the other side.
1478
01:37:22,500 --> 01:37:24,700
We'll have to go the other way.
1479
01:37:24,800 --> 01:37:26,700
Come on, let's go!
1480
01:37:29,500 --> 01:37:30,500
[shouts]
1481
01:37:32,000 --> 01:37:34,500
Stop!
1482
01:37:36,800 --> 01:37:38,800
[Arthur] Oh, no!
1483
01:37:40,600 --> 01:37:44,700
[Zaphod] Stop it! Stop it!
Stop shooting at us!
1484
01:38:01,100 --> 01:38:03,700
[shooting stops]
1485
01:38:03,800 --> 01:38:07,400
Oh, l feel so depressed.
1486
01:38:07,500 --> 01:38:08,700
[Vogons groan]
1487
01:38:08,900 --> 01:38:13,800
l can't face another day.
1488
01:38:15,700 --> 01:38:17,500
What's the point?
1489
01:38:25,500 --> 01:38:27,800
- You all right?
- Yeah.
1490
01:38:33,500 --> 01:38:36,400
Sorry about your spaceship, Arthur.
1491
01:38:36,400 --> 01:38:39,700
[Vogons groan]
1492
01:38:41,900 --> 01:38:44,100
Marvin, you saved our lives.
1493
01:38:44,200 --> 01:38:47,500
l know. Wretched, isn't it?
1494
01:38:47,500 --> 01:38:50,700
[moans]
1495
01:38:52,900 --> 01:38:56,000
You got to ask yourself,
what's the point?
1496
01:38:56,100 --> 01:38:58,800
[workman] Take it away.
1497
01:39:06,400 --> 01:39:11,700
You could do all of that, but it's not
gonna...Well, l'll ask... l'll just ask.
1498
01:39:11,800 --> 01:39:15,600
l... l... l've just been informed
by some of the lads
1499
01:39:15,700 --> 01:39:18,100
that since we're so near completion,
1500
01:39:18,200 --> 01:39:20,600
we're gonna go ahead and finish Earth.
1501
01:39:20,700 --> 01:39:22,200
Oh.
1502
01:39:22,300 --> 01:39:26,300
We, well, we can put it back exactly
as it was when you left, you know.
1503
01:39:26,400 --> 01:39:29,800
Unless there's, um...
1504
01:39:29,900 --> 01:39:33,400
...there's, you know,
anything you want to change.
1505
01:39:35,500 --> 01:39:40,800
Something you think
your planet could do without.
1506
01:39:42,300 --> 01:39:45,600
Yeah. Me.
1507
01:39:46,000 --> 01:39:48,300
Oh! Um, hello?
1508
01:39:48,400 --> 01:39:52,100
No, as is. Yep, leave it. Yep.
1509
01:39:54,000 --> 01:39:55,600
Let's go somewhere.
1510
01:39:55,700 --> 01:39:58,300
Definitely. Where did you have in mind?
1511
01:39:58,400 --> 01:40:01,600
l know this great restaurant
at the end of the universe.
1512
01:40:01,700 --> 01:40:04,800
l am a little peckish.
1513
01:40:06,800 --> 01:40:09,600
l need to go to Humma's.
He's got something of mine.
1514
01:40:09,700 --> 01:40:15,300
- l think. l'm so confused.
- Don't worry, baby. We'll sort it out.
1515
01:40:15,400 --> 01:40:19,000
All right, let's trip the
light fantastic, baby. Just you and me.
1516
01:40:19,100 --> 01:40:21,000
Come on.
1517
01:40:21,100 --> 01:40:25,100
- You got your towel?
- Yeah. Why? Am l going to need it?
1518
01:40:25,200 --> 01:40:28,700
- Only always.
- Right. Yeah.
1519
01:40:28,800 --> 01:40:32,700
l wouldn't want to go
anywhere without my wonderful towel.
1520
01:40:37,800 --> 01:40:40,700
Okay. Hold tight.
1521
01:40:44,200 --> 01:40:49,400
[speaker] Stand by for commencement
of life cycle. In three, two, one...
1522
01:40:49,500 --> 01:40:53,000
[Zaphod] All right! Whoo!
1523
01:41:35,600 --> 01:41:37,900
[Marvin] Not that
anyone cares what l say,
1524
01:41:37,900 --> 01:41:41,200
but the restaurant
is at the other end of the universe.
1525
01:41:41,200 --> 01:41:42,600
[screech of brakes]
1526
01:41:43,400 --> 01:41:45,500
[accelerating engines]
1527
01:41:46,700 --> 01:41:47,900
[boom]
1528
01:42:10,100 --> 01:42:13,800
? So long and thanks for all the fish
1529
01:42:13,900 --> 01:42:18,000
? So sad that it should come to this
1530
01:42:18,100 --> 01:42:22,900
? We tried to warn you all but, oh, dear
1531
01:42:25,900 --> 01:42:30,000
? You may not share our intellect
1532
01:42:30,100 --> 01:42:34,000
? Which might explain your disrespect
1533
01:42:34,100 --> 01:42:41,500
? For all the natural wonders
that grow around you
1534
01:42:41,600 --> 01:42:46,500
? So long, so long
and thanks... for all the fish
1535
01:42:54,100 --> 01:42:58,000
? The world's about to be destroyed
1536
01:42:58,100 --> 01:43:01,900
? There's no point getting all annoyed
1537
01:43:02,000 --> 01:43:08,300
? Lie back and let the planet dissolve
1538
01:43:10,000 --> 01:43:14,000
? Despite those nets of tuna fleets
1539
01:43:14,100 --> 01:43:18,000
? We thought that most of you were sweet
1540
01:43:18,100 --> 01:43:25,400
? Especially tiny tots
and your pregnant women
1541
01:43:25,500 --> 01:43:29,400
? So long, so long,
so long, so long, so long
1542
01:43:29,500 --> 01:43:33,500
? So long, so long,
so long, so long, so long
1543
01:43:33,500 --> 01:43:38,500
? So long, so long
and thanks... for all the fish
1544
01:43:44,400 --> 01:43:45,700
Yeah!
1545
01:43:56,800 --> 01:43:58,300
Play it!
1546
01:44:01,900 --> 01:44:06,000
? So long and thanks for all the fish
1547
01:44:06,000 --> 01:44:10,000
? So sad that it should come to this
1548
01:44:10,100 --> 01:44:16,100
? We tried to warn you all but, oh, dear
1549
01:44:16,200 --> 01:44:17,900
? Oh, dear
1550
01:44:18,000 --> 01:44:21,900
? Despite those nets of tuna fleets
1551
01:44:22,000 --> 01:44:26,000
? We thought that most of you were sweet
1552
01:44:26,100 --> 01:44:33,400
? Especially tiny tots
and your pregnant women
1553
01:44:33,500 --> 01:44:37,400
? So long, so long,
so long, so long, so long
1554
01:44:37,500 --> 01:44:41,400
? So long, so long,
so long, so long, so long
1555
01:44:41,500 --> 01:44:49,500
? So long, so long
and thanks for all the fish
1556
01:44:50,400 --> 01:44:53,000
? For all the fish ?
1557
01:44:56,500 --> 01:45:00,800
[Guide] It is, of course, well known
that careless talk costs lives.
1558
01:45:00,900 --> 01:45:04,000
But the full scale of the problem
is not always appreciated.
1559
01:45:04,100 --> 01:45:07,700
For instance, at the very moment
that Arthur Dent said,
1560
01:45:07,800 --> 01:45:11,400
''I wouldn't want to go anywhere
without my wonderful towel''
1561
01:45:11,400 --> 01:45:16,000
a freak wormhole opened up in
the fabric of the space-time continuum
1562
01:45:16,100 --> 01:45:19,600
and carried his words far,
far back in time,
1563
01:45:19,700 --> 01:45:23,800
across almost infinite reaches of space,
to a distant galaxy
1564
01:45:23,800 --> 01:45:27,500
where strange and warlike beings
were poised on the brink
1565
01:45:27,600 --> 01:45:30,100
of frightful interstellar battle.
1566
01:45:30,200 --> 01:45:34,700
The two opposing leaders, resplendent
in their black-jeweled battle shorts
1567
01:45:34,800 --> 01:45:36,800
were meeting for the last time,
1568
01:45:37,000 --> 01:45:39,700
when a dreadful silence fell.
1569
01:45:39,800 --> 01:45:41,800
And at that very moment,
1570
01:45:41,900 --> 01:45:45,900
the words ''I wouldn't want to go
anywhere without my wonderful towel''
1571
01:45:46,000 --> 01:45:49,000
drifted across the conference table.
1572
01:45:49,100 --> 01:45:51,700
Unfortunately, in their native tongue,
1573
01:45:51,800 --> 01:45:54,800
this was the most appalling
insult imaginable.
1574
01:45:54,900 --> 01:45:56,600
So the opposing battle fleets
1575
01:45:56,600 --> 01:45:59,200
decided to settle
their remaining differences,
1576
01:45:59,300 --> 01:46:02,700
in order to launch
a joint attack on our galaxy,
1577
01:46:02,800 --> 01:46:06,900
now positively identified
as the source of the offending remark.
1578
01:46:07,000 --> 01:46:10,200
For thousands of years,
the mighty starships tore across
1579
01:46:10,400 --> 01:46:15,800
the empty wastes of space and finally
dived screaming onto the planet Earth,
1580
01:46:15,900 --> 01:46:19,900
where, due to
a terrible miscalculation of scale,
1581
01:46:20,000 --> 01:46:24,900
the entire battle fleet was
accidentally swallowed by a small dog.
1582
01:46:24,900 --> 01:46:28,500
Those who study the complex
interplay of cause and effect
1583
01:46:28,600 --> 01:46:30,400
in the history of the universe,
1584
01:46:30,600 --> 01:46:35,100
say that this sort of thing
is going on all the time.