1 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,635 Action! 2 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,989 OK, folks, here they come. Lots of applause. 3 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:33,109 The marvellous Harry Secombe, the delightful Spike Milligan... 4 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,073 Oh, and Peter Sellers. 5 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,395 This is the BBC Home Service. 6 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,639 It's time for... 7 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:49,433 Another remarkable 1957 edition 8 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:54,156 of the wireless, talking type... Goon Show! 9 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:59,030 You sir, with the linen hair and oily suit. 10 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:01,958 What is it that you want, you sick and twisted boy? 11 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,150 I must ask you to empty your pockets. 12 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,914 Ah, quit stalling, man. Empty your pockets. 13 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:16,791 Now listen to me, Neddie, that is our entire worldly wealth. 14 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:22,040 What, what, what, what, what? Then what's that ominous bulge in the seat of his trousers? 15 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,390 Oh, just some leather meringues. 16 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:28,593 Listen to me, my good man, we'd like to hire your stained-glass battering ram. 17 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,995 - Ooh, what for? - How about two shillings? 18 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:34,237 - I haven't got two shillings. - We'll take it anyway. 19 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,479 No! You dirty, rotten swine! 20 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:47,637 You broke my little cardboard sword. 21 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,398 A stowaway, I sayl Come on outl 22 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,636 All right, I will come out. 23 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,713 Send in Mr Sellers. 24 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:06,519 - Good morning. - Good morning, Mr Sellers. 25 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:13,069 - Now... - Yul Brynner. Is that you with him? 26 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:18,513 Yes. Am I right in reading that you're here for the part of Ned Brockway? 27 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,119 Yes, that's right. 28 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,915 You do realise the script calls for a 60-year-old war veteran? 29 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:27,112 I've got his voice worked out. I could do a bit for you. 30 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:29,629 Mr Sellers, I know you're quite big on radio... 31 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,432 I don't like to boast. 32 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:33,949 But film's a different medium. 33 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,435 It's one I'm quite, quite keen on. 34 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,949 - A visual medium, dear. - Yes, of course. 35 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,355 A very unforgivingly visual medium. 36 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,469 But thank you ever so much for coming. 37 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:07,555 I am little Michael Bluebottle. I am an ace private detective. 38 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:12,037 He's got his own scooter, he's got his own make-up. 39 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:17,555 - He goes anywhere in fiction. - And I am hotfoot after the criminals 40 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:19,511 what have stolen all the string! 41 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,710 I suspect the Moriarty man. 42 00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:24,752 Ah, where is that Moriarty man? 43 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:28,873 - Thinks. Points finger. - Pointy, pointy, pointy. 44 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,679 Oh, God, now we've done it. 45 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,075 - I'll get her, Anne. - It's all right, I'll go. 46 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,953 No, it's my house, I'll help Peter. 47 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,640 You're tired. You stay and rest. Have some fun. 48 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,149 Leave it to me and Peg. 49 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:46,558 All right, Dad, you can be Major Dennis Bloodnok. 50 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:51,276 And you've just apprehended England's biggest string criminal. 51 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,311 - All right. - Peter? 52 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,158 You're under arrest. 53 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,395 It's all right, it's all right. 54 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,478 Dear, dear me. 55 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,511 That's the girl. 56 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:08,710 She's lovely. There we are. 57 00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:11,354 Thanks, Mum. I'll... I'll do it. 58 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:20,350 Those film people won't have anything to do with me, Mum. 59 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,710 It was my fifth audition this week. 60 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:25,909 - What did they say to you? - Same as usual. 61 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,952 Not good-looking enough, not magnetic enough. 62 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:34,074 "Stick to radio. That's what you're good at." Keep being the ringmaster in a circus of twits. 63 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,190 Maybe I should just be content. 64 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,197 You simpering cow. 65 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:47,313 How can you be content changing nappies in a flat like a woman? 66 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:50,750 You want to be a failure like your father, mewl about contentment. 67 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,952 - That's not very fair. - I didn't bring you up to be content. 68 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:58,232 I didn't slog round third-rate music halls doing three shows a night 69 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,237 so you could powder your baby's bottom 70 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,397 and whine about how nobody ever gives the radio man a chance. 71 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:08,388 Peter, no one's gonna hand it to you. 72 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,512 You want success, you've gotta go out and take it! 73 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:16,395 Bite the hand that feeds you. There'll always be another hand with more food. 74 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,353 And they'll be impressed by the sharpness of your teeth! 75 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,391 Come here. 76 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:29,149 Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 77 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,316 - I love you, Peter. - I love you, Peg. 78 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,477 - I really love you, Peter. - I love you, too, Peg. 79 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:42,230 - I really love you, Peter. - No, I really love you, Peg. 80 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:47,831 Send in Mr Cobblers. 81 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,639 Good morning. 82 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,310 - Good morning. - Oh, it is. 83 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,114 Would you like to sit down, Mr Cobblers? 84 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,435 I'd prefer to stand, if you don't mind. 85 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:13,116 You see, I caught a bit of shrapnel... in the Ardennes. 86 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:17,597 I quite understand. Now, I don't appear to have received your CV. 87 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:20,359 That would be because I don't have one, madam. 88 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:25,076 I don't believe a man's worth can be summed up on a piece of paper. 89 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,679 It wouldn't be fair to me. Or to you. 90 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:32,190 Or to any of those dear lads I left behind... 91 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,110 in no-man's-land. 92 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:39,358 But you have acted? 93 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:44,031 All over this fair land, madam. 94 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,952 Well, we'll have to have a formal audition, of course. 95 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,674 But I must say, you're nearly perfect. 96 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,791 Well, we... 97 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,912 Well... 98 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,237 Yes, well... That's what I was thinking. 99 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,197 It's me. Peter. 100 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,356 You naughty boy. 101 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,358 Perhaps now we could talk about my contract. 102 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:54,792 Our nominees for best performance by a British actor are - 103 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:59,357 Richard Burton, Peter Finch, Laurence Olivier 104 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,712 and Peter Sellers. 105 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,479 And the British Academy Award goes to... 106 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,070 Peter Sellers, for I'm All Right Jack. 107 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,713 Your Royal Highness, you naughty man. 108 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:26,797 Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much indeed for this award, which I shall treasure. 109 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:30,879 You know, I went to consult an acknowledged expert about tonight, 110 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,913 someone who has published several pamphlets on this subject - 111 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,951 my mother. 112 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:41,039 She told me to be short, to be sweet and be circumscribed. 113 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,276 Which I am. 114 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,030 Don't we have any macaroons? 115 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:00,956 Oh, yes. 116 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:12,719 It would be nice to think me son were happy then. 117 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:17,356 He might have been, at that, if he could have been happy with "good enough". 118 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:27,912 Come here. But "good enough" were never what his mother had in mind. 119 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,878 That boy needed a firmer hand. 120 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,997 I don't know. 121 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:43,114 Maybe if Peg had let us all settle down in one place for long enough... 122 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,469 If Pete had had a regular routine, like, 123 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:50,991 I might have been able to teach him something about life the way I saw it. 124 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:55,671 - The straightforwardness of it. - Peter Sellers, I'm All Right Jack. 125 00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,675 We had to keep t'show on road. 126 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:04,274 I remember once, we were all in a caf� in Brighton, having our tea. 127 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,914 Pete would have been five, probably six. 128 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,154 We got down to the last cake on the plate 129 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,714 and before I could ask who wanted to share it, 130 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,912 Pete snatched it up, licked it all over. 131 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,070 I took it off him, of course. 132 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,670 He threw himself on t'floor, screaming his bloody head off. 133 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,758 Peg just laughed. She bought him sweets. 134 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,316 Those bloody rages. 135 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,309 Pete always got the last cake. 136 00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:37,712 - Even if it were on someone else's plate. - Background action. 137 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,633 ...her sense of fashion and style. 138 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:47,516 - There we are. - Here it comes. 139 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:54,836 Mr Sellers. What does it feel like to be co-starring with Sophia Loren? 140 00:12:55,880 --> 00:13:01,512 Soft, warm, a little like being a young boy in a bakery 141 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,915 very early in the morning. 142 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,076 There she is. 143 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,436 - Sophia! - Miss Loren! 144 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:13,551 - This way, Miss Loren. - Miss Loren. 145 00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:18,800 Excuse me, which one of you gentlemen is Peter Sellers? 146 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:31,833 Peter! 147 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,396 Welcome to England, Miss Loren. 148 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,749 "We have never had it so good." 149 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,315 - If you go back so we can get... - That's it. 150 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:55,714 - Lovely. - Over here! 151 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,638 Please, Miss Loren, to be telling me about your dreams. 152 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:02,992 Oh, Doctor, they started when I was a girl. 153 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,634 A girl. Goodness, gracious me. 154 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:10,077 This is a very good start. What were you dreaming about, as a girl? 155 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:11,999 Boys. 156 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,076 So you have been crazy for the boys? 157 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,636 No. They were crazy for me. 158 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,194 That is not so crazy. 159 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,595 Such a funny boy. 160 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:28,988 - Excuse me. Miss Loren, it's your husband. - Ah, thank you. 161 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:47,995 I can't see. 162 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,870 Open your eyes. Surprise! 163 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,355 Daddy, what's in there? 164 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:15,352 And here we have this year's Formula One grand champion, Michael Sellers, 165 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,630 dubbed "the human lightning bolt". 166 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:22,595 Like any professional, young Sellers gives his equipment a once-over. 167 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:28,238 This attention to detail allowed this speedster to leave Stirling Moss in the dust at Aintree. 168 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:33,753 Eyes clear, the ambitious Sellers presents a portrait of determination. 169 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,431 What's that, sir? 170 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,630 What the bloody hell is that? 171 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:49,273 I'm going to phone the dealer. Hard-shell paint job. Bollocks! 172 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,436 I'll murder him! 173 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:56,875 Come and see, Dad! 174 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,150 - Come on. - All right, I'm coming. 175 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:04,150 Dad! Come and see. Please. 176 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:10,231 I fixed it. I made it look beautiful. It looks just like a racing car now. 177 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,639 Dad? Don't you like it, Dad? 178 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,511 Dad? 179 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:41,156 You see, Michael? I fixed all your toys for you. 180 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,796 Aren't they beautiful? 181 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,312 Come on, darling, we're going downstairs. Come on. 182 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,317 It's all right. 183 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,751 Your go. 184 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,911 Two. 185 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:38,197 Michael. You know what happened this morning? 186 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,072 Yeah. 187 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:43,954 - You know Daddy didn't mean it, don't you? - Yeah. 188 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,275 You know it's not your fault? 189 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,110 He's working very hard. 190 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,798 - He gets carried away sometimes. - OK. 191 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:07,349 Michael. Can I see you for a second? 192 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,236 We're in here. 193 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:15,238 Hi, Mike. I've got a surprise for you. 194 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:28,071 Say, pardner, come and say howdy to your new friend. 195 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,390 - Give him some apple. - OK. 196 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:39,632 - Hello. Amazing. - D'you like him? 197 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,399 - I love him. - Come round the front. 198 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:46,479 - Look, Mum. - I think he likes you. 199 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,239 Big smile for Daddy. 200 00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:51,999 - Let's call him Fred. - Fred. 201 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,551 He's asleep. 202 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,878 Tell me honestly, darling. Is it hard to believe 203 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,753 that a woman like this could fall for a man like me? 204 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:21,799 Maybe it is something to do with the mystery of being in love. 205 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,358 I'm afraid, men, 206 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:33,632 we're going to have to take all these little cars to the toy hospital. 207 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,796 It's just not charming any more. 208 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:42,231 That's good. I have to be more than charming, I've got to be passionate. 209 00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:46,432 I'm starring opposite the most beautiful woman in the world. 210 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,755 Your son was terrified today. 211 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:53,032 I'm under a lot of pressure. I could use your support. 212 00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,833 You've always had my support, Peter. 213 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,152 It's my patience that I'm no longer sure about. 214 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,671 Peter. 215 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,758 - Peter, what are you doing? - I've been bad. 216 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,117 - Oh, Peter, come out of there. - No. 217 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,510 Oh, hello. 218 00:20:57,480 --> 00:21:00,790 Do you want to come down here and join the little people? 219 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,952 - Peter. - Yes, my love? 220 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,950 Why can't we be a normal family? 221 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,870 We are. 222 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,079 You can't catch me! 223 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,998 - Sarah, I'm here. - Waving to Daddy. 224 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,189 - That's nice. - Get here, Michael. 225 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,109 - Champagne, Miss Loren? - Please. 226 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:57,953 Thank you. 227 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,359 Are you tired? I could give you a lift home after this. 228 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:21,393 My home is in Rome. That's an awfully long drive, no? 229 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,880 Well, we do have all night. 230 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:28,231 You are sweet. But the studio gives me a limo. 231 00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:31,432 Besides, you live so far out here in the country. 232 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:34,950 It's out of your way to drive me into town. 233 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,874 Great thing about town, you're so close to everything. 234 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:50,312 Buckingham Palace is across the way, if you need to borrow some sugar. 235 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,830 It's not the moving I mind, Peter. 236 00:22:57,360 --> 00:22:59,351 It's just not knowing I'm moving. 237 00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:10,920 Darling, I'd like you to meet Ted Levy. 238 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:14,237 I've brought him on as our interior decorator. 239 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:19,229 By Royal appointment. HRH, you know. To lighten your load, an' all. Ted. Anne. 240 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,314 It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Sellers. 241 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,230 He's a handsome devil. 242 00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:31,275 But I figure a handsome man will be able to make us a handsome flat. 243 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,594 - Yes. - I wouldn't go as far as that. 244 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,593 Now, Anne, Ted has got some brilliant ideas for this place. 245 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,639 - Mr Levy, was it? - Ted. 246 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,071 Call time. 247 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,236 I've gotta go. 248 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,679 I've got to... I must dash orf. 249 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,550 You two, choose away! 250 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,556 Oh, have a drinkie-poo and make a night of it. 251 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:07,069 Ted, whatever's fine with Anne is perfectly fine with me. 252 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,194 Why don't I show you what I've got in mind? 253 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:41,629 Darling, you made it. 254 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:43,671 Oh, Peter! 255 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,554 - Isn't your wife joining us? - Andr�. 256 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,559 What would sir and madam say to a little fish? 257 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:57,194 I'd probably say, "Hello, little fish". 258 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,796 Thank you. 259 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:07,514 - To us, my darling. - You are wonderful. 260 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,391 I just can't believe my luck. 261 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,276 You are lucky? How? 262 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,800 We are going to be very happy together. 263 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,116 It's so dark in here, hm? 264 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:33,994 Oh, yes, well... We have to take precautions, you know. 265 00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:37,680 What do you mean, precautions? 266 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:42,112 Should we tell the world? Stop all this sneaking about? 267 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,235 But, Peter, I thought we were having a friendly dinner. 268 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,553 It'll be relief to you, too. Ponti's such a nice man. 269 00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:57,591 It must be hard, lying to your husband. 270 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,919 I think you are mistaken. 271 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:08,114 Go home to your children and go home to your wife, Peter. 272 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,436 She's right. 273 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:24,830 They should be the first to know. 274 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:28,591 Well, what d'you think? 275 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,191 Does this mean you want a divorce? 276 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:41,353 You know, I hadn't thought about it. 277 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,471 Not necessarily. 278 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,318 Do you still love us? 279 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,755 Of course I do, sweetheart. 280 00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:01,996 Just... 281 00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:04,509 not as much as I love Sophia Loren. 282 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,191 What's he talking about? 283 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,470 I don't know, darling. Come here. 284 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:38,236 Hello, Ted. It's Anne Sellers. 285 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,673 I'm glad you're there. I've had an idea about the colour. 286 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,149 Well, I was wondering if we could meet. 287 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,714 Yes. Yes, that would be lovely. 288 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:55,956 I'll see you there. 289 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,510 George, how are you? 290 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:42,951 Hello. 291 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,193 Are you enjoying being Sophia's stand-in? 292 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:49,632 Yes. 293 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,274 Have you ever ridden in the back of a Rolls-Royce? 294 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:57,918 - Why, no. - Next best thing to a Bentley. 295 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:02,831 Anne? 296 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:11,875 Michael. 297 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,835 You awake? 298 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:19,676 Hi, Dad. 299 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,316 What is it? 300 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:29,229 Your mother is sleeping with the interior decorator. 301 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:05,952 - Where are the children? - They're at Peg's. 302 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:10,149 If you leave this flat, I'm going to jump off this balcony. 303 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:12,350 Don't make me any promises, Peter. 304 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,789 All right, I'll meet you downstairs. 305 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,156 I had you followed. 306 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,238 The detectives asked if I wanted to see pictures. I said no. 307 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:28,114 - I thought that was rather chivalrous. - How considerate. 308 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,755 You're not to leave this house again. I forbid it. Come back here! 309 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,151 Anne! 310 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:49,478 I do love you. 311 00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:01,595 I'm fucking bored of the little boy! 312 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:09,795 Why can't you be a man? 313 00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:12,710 You're a miserable, lying shit. 314 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,151 I hate you. 315 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,076 I'll meet you downstairs. 316 00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:55,956 - And cut! - Camera's cut. 317 00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:57,593 Check the gate. 318 00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:59,836 Could we do it again? I didn't quite feel it. 319 00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:04,636 - There's no time, darling. Fix it in post. - Oh, all right. 320 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,834 This way, Mrs Sellers. 321 00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:25,675 Oh, Peter, I love you so much. 322 00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:28,872 I'm so sorry I hurt you. I should never have slept with Ted. 323 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:34,074 You're the best lover I ever had. I'm going to tell Ted I never want to see him again. 324 00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:37,357 Then we'll go out and eat a sumptuous meal. 325 00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:39,391 Then I'll make love to you 326 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:42,796 like no wife has ever made love to her husband before. 327 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:57,830 I'm just going to freshen up and then... 328 00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,276 I'll meet you downstairs. 329 00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,316 That's much better. 330 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:30,596 She's gone, Mum. 331 00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:34,795 You're all right. You're with Peg now. 332 00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,870 I thought if I just gave the world a little push, 333 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,116 it would all fall into place. 334 00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:49,075 Well, at least you tried, dear. 335 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:52,676 Perhaps I should call Anne. 336 00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,240 She left you. Let her go. 337 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,470 I just don't know what's going to happen next. 338 00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:08,270 Don't you worry, my little boy. 339 00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:13,911 The future's ours now. And there are many ways of finding it. 340 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,470 Turn the light out, Bill. 341 00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:43,834 Mr Sellers? 342 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:46,354 Maurice Woodruff. You wish to see me. 343 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,074 Roger Moore speaks very highly of you. 344 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:53,637 As he should. Come. The future is this way. 345 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:12,713 You are aware that green is the unluckiest colour in the spectrum? 346 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,512 - It is? - It's positively fatal. 347 00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:27,959 - You feel better. - Immensely. 348 00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:36,473 So, what else is troubling you? 349 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:39,433 You're the fortune-teller. Shouldn't you already know? 350 00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,599 Even fortune's pump needs priming. 351 00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:52,874 I keep making changes. 352 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,434 You know. Big ones. 353 00:36:55,560 --> 00:37:00,156 And little ones. Always hoping that the next one will be the right one. 354 00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:02,430 I lost weight, I bought new clothes. 355 00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,473 I changed my radio job for a film career. 356 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,670 I changed my marriage into a divorce. 357 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,517 Nothing makes me happy the way I'm supposed to be happy. 358 00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:19,155 One can't be happy if one's lonely. 359 00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:37,591 The spirits are telling me 360 00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:40,314 that there will be many pretty ladies in your life. 361 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:45,192 You see, Peter... You don't mind if I call you Peter? 362 00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:46,309 No. 363 00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:48,510 You like pretty ladies. 364 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,389 You're quite a perceptive man, Maurice. 365 00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:03,751 Hello, ladies. 366 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:06,110 Yes, it is me. 367 00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:23,797 A very good day to you, sir. Welcome to our showroom. 368 00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:26,753 It's absolutely delightful. 369 00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:31,071 As you can see, we do have all the latest models. 370 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:36,398 - This is a sporty little number. - Superb. 371 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:42,072 Or perhaps something more along these lines. 372 00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:46,989 - Big grille on this one. - Oh, yes, I have one myself, sir. 373 00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,270 - May I? - Please. 374 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,231 The Germans are amazing, aren't they? 375 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,191 How about engine noise? 376 00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:58,754 She'll growl when you're hard on the floor, sir. 377 00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:01,555 Rest of the time, silent as a kitten. 378 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:11,955 So, what will it take to get sir into one of these today? 379 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:16,109 A test drive. 380 00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,554 Emma, how fast d'you run the quarter mile? 381 00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:29,073 - Honestly, Mr Sellers. - Thank you, Emma. That'll be all. 382 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:34,438 Blake Edwards. He's shooting a David Niven movie in Rome and Switzerland. 383 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,191 Starts filming next week. Wants you. 384 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,949 Next week? He obviously hasn't wanted me for that long. 385 00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:48,311 It's a supporting part. Peter Ustinov's pulled out. 386 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,878 Oh, well, yes, of course I'll do it. 387 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:56,913 Any part not good enough for Ustinov is perfectly fine for me. 388 00:39:57,040 --> 00:40:00,112 - Peter... - I'm not taking Ustinov's sloppy seconds! 389 00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:04,312 I won a fucking British Academy Award, for God's sake! 390 00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:09,514 Are you going to overreact or listen to why your smart agent wants you to do this? 391 00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:11,835 Apparently, I'm going to overreact. 392 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:19,911 God. 393 00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:25,030 Blake Edwards is the hottest director in Hollywood right now. 394 00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:28,038 Days Of Wine And Roses, Breakfast At Tiffany's. 395 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:32,073 He can get anyone he wants. And, Peter, he wants you. 396 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,639 United Artists are putting a lot of weight behind it. 397 00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:38,957 It's going to get very wide, very international release. 398 00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:43,437 You may be a star in Britain, but the folks in Duluth have never heard of you. 399 00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:46,199 Well, we're even. I've never heard of Duluth. 400 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,436 It's in the United States. 401 00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,554 That Duluth. 402 00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:58,750 It's called The Pink Panther. 403 00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,710 It sounds like a bloody strip joint. 404 00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:04,591 For poofs. 405 00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:37,836 Please. Try mine. 406 00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:45,159 Excuse me, but aren't you Peter Sellers? 407 00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:49,071 Not today. 408 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:07,795 Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to make our final approach into Rome International. 409 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,313 Please take your seat, sir. 410 00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:15,036 Please ensure your seat belts are fastened and your seats are upright. 411 00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:18,232 I'm looking for my tru-ung. 412 00:42:19,240 --> 00:42:21,800 - Your tru-ung? - What? 413 00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:25,674 - You said "tru-ung"? - I know perfectly well what I said. 414 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:28,598 Right. I don't understand. 415 00:42:28,720 --> 00:42:31,314 Are you not familiar with Her Majesty's tu-ung? 416 00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:32,953 Yes, I am. 417 00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:36,709 And I can assure you the word "tru-ung" 418 00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:39,354 does not exist in our language. 419 00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:41,994 Then I demand to speak to the person in charge. 420 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:45,430 - I am the person in charge, sir. - Then I demand to speak with you. 421 00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:49,075 - You are speaking to me. - Of course I am speaking with you. 422 00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:53,955 What kind of a crazy stewardess thinks a passenger stands, speaking with himself? 423 00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:57,959 What kind of a passenger puts lives at risk just before a landing? 424 00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,230 Our lives are at risk? 425 00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,396 Our lives are not at risk. 426 00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,798 Now sit down and belt up. I'm getting completely lost. 427 00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:08,797 Lost? 428 00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,957 Yes, we have a slight state of emergency. 429 00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:14,799 French twa... 430 00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:21,152 I want you to go very quietly and spik with the peelot. 431 00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:23,111 - Peelot? - What? 432 00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:26,550 - You said "peelot". - I know very well what I said. 433 00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:31,151 I have a funny feeling we might be landing in Rome sooner than we think. 434 00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:54,675 You be careful, Mr Sellers. 435 00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:08,153 Carol, our guest has arrived. Will you take his coat, please? 436 00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:13,518 And he also looks a little thirsty, Gill. 437 00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:22,231 Ah, yes, Switzerland. Of course. 438 00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:29,630 Hi. Blake Edwards. 439 00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:32,950 Running things on a shoestring, I see. 440 00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:35,674 - Welcome to Hollywood. - This is Italy. 441 00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,870 Hollywood is a state of mind. 442 00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:42,595 I've got one or two ideas about Clouseau. Couple of bits... 443 00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:46,349 Peter. The script will be shot as written. 444 00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:49,392 - Yes, but in the bedroom scene... - I mean it. 445 00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:55,551 Look at his... 446 00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:58,875 OK. You look great. Let's shoot this. 447 00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:00,831 This is where we introduce Clouseau 448 00:45:00,960 --> 00:45:04,077 and we tip off the audience that your wife is David's mistress. 449 00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:07,636 We're in a hurry. We only have Niven until two o'clock 450 00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:10,433 so we'd like to get it in one take. Ready? 451 00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:14,394 OK. He's only got one line. Keep him in the frame, whatever he does. 452 00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:16,476 Henri, you wanna take your mark? 453 00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:20,388 - OK. - 192. Eight, take one. 454 00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:22,430 Action. 455 00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:49,874 We must find that woman. 456 00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:55,509 Is that what you said? 457 00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:03,358 Tell me you got that. 458 00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:07,917 Testing. On the set of The Pink Panther in Gstaad, Switzerland, 459 00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:10,110 with Peter Sellers. 460 00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:16,839 Peter, how are you able to inhabit your characters so successfully? 461 00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:23,112 Well, you see, I don't really have any personality of my own. 462 00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:27,753 There used to be a me behind the mask but I had it surgically removed. 463 00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:34,871 I don't know. If I didn't have characters like Clouseau, I don't know who I'd be. 464 00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:38,788 Perhaps I'd be you. But then if I were you, who would you be? 465 00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:42,078 You. 466 00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,191 That's very good. 467 00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:48,791 So, word is, you're stealing this movie from David Niven. 468 00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:50,831 No, no, that's ridiculous. 469 00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:53,838 This... this is such a team effort. 470 00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:58,272 David Niven is one of the cinema's most distinguished leading men. 471 00:47:00,240 --> 00:47:03,391 One can learn a lot from people like that, you know. 472 00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:15,720 Terrific, Blake. Talk tomorrow about that. 473 00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:20,033 Good show. The Frogs will never forgive you. Well done. 474 00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:22,435 - Thank you, David. - Genius. 475 00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:29,434 I'm not supposed to tell you but United Artists already wants a Clouseau sequel. 476 00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:32,552 - Who's directing? - Oh, probably some hack. 477 00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:37,390 - I'm dead fucking serious. - Peter, relax. 478 00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:40,273 - You're not suggesting you would? - What? 479 00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:45,030 I was bloody awful up there. If that's what you get out of me, I don't want to repeat it. 480 00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:48,118 - You blame me for your performance? - You agree I was awful? 481 00:47:48,240 --> 00:47:51,118 - I thought you were brilliant! - What the fuck do you know? 482 00:47:51,240 --> 00:47:54,596 Peter, we're all going out. You just have to come. 483 00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:57,231 Ah, hello. 484 00:47:57,360 --> 00:47:59,351 - Yung Hi. - So Mi. 485 00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:03,109 Oh, that's so you. I knew there was a pronoun involved. 486 00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:05,871 Blakey, aren't you coming? 487 00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:19,195 Crowds continue to flock to see The Pink Panther. 488 00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:23,950 One avid patron, waiting in line to see the film for the third time, 489 00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:27,470 was heard to remark, "I love foreign films. 490 00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:31,957 "Peter Sellers is my absolute favourite French actor. " 491 00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:37,390 Peter. Oh, you've got a hit. You shouldn't be here. 492 00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:42,873 - How long has he been like this? - Since last Monday. 493 00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:46,914 You didn't tell me. 494 00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:57,278 Pete... 495 00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:09,511 Peg said you couldn't come. 496 00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:17,229 Well, I'm here now, Dad. 497 00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:20,916 Pete... 498 00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:22,996 Bloke in the next bed... 499 00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:26,990 I promised him your autograph. 500 00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:46,631 - I'll get right onto that, Dad. - Yeah. He'll like that. 501 00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:53,076 I told him... 502 00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:56,271 my son... 503 00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:00,435 who's a special boy... 504 00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:13,117 No. No, let him rest now. 505 00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:16,436 Let him rest. 506 00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,958 The reporters. They'll want some remarks. 507 00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:19,793 You didn't call me. 508 00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:38,436 Hello. Is Mike there? 509 00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:42,591 Do you know when he'll be back? 510 00:51:42,720 --> 00:51:44,711 All right. No, it's... Bye. 511 00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:56,829 - Is Harry there, please? - It's Harry. How are you? 512 00:51:57,720 --> 00:52:01,679 I'm fine. I'm looking after Mike. I thought you might like to pop over for a beer. 513 00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:06,229 Oh. Oh, is that today? I forgot, yeah. 514 00:52:06,360 --> 00:52:09,318 - Why don't we say Monday? - Er, right. 515 00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:11,556 - Ying ton, mate. - Iddle i po! 516 00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:16,637 Mike, put that down. Put it down, please. 517 00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:18,671 Thank you. 518 00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:21,676 Go to your room. 519 00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:34,791 Oh, Bert, you swine. 520 00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:40,871 Here it is, here it is. 521 00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:43,275 Welcome to my humble chapeau. 522 00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:00,957 God. 523 00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:03,355 I don't seem to be able to get it in. 524 00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:06,111 What's going on? 525 00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:08,558 Good evening, Mr Sellers. 526 00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:14,393 Oh, Christ! 527 00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:17,159 You nearly gave me a heart attack. 528 00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:19,475 You're a hard man to get ahold of. 529 00:53:20,240 --> 00:53:22,629 - Not really. - Oh, God. 530 00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:25,513 Linda, I'd like you to meet Stanley Kubrick. 531 00:53:27,720 --> 00:53:29,631 It's nice to meet you. 532 00:53:30,720 --> 00:53:34,429 So, er, Columbia won't let me make my next picture without you. 533 00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:36,630 Awfully insightful of them. 534 00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:40,476 What's the part? 535 00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:43,475 All of them. 536 00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:45,591 What, the whole film? 537 00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:56,914 You can destroy the world, Peter. 538 00:53:57,040 --> 00:54:02,478 Fine. I can hear you now, Dmitri, clear and plain and coming through fine. 539 00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:06,070 Yes, it's good that you're fine and I'm fine. 540 00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:11,477 And I agree with you, it's great to be fine. 541 00:54:14,320 --> 00:54:16,356 Now, then, Dmitri... 542 00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:18,797 You know how we've always talked 543 00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:23,038 about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb? 544 00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:25,876 The hydrogen bomb. 545 00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:29,959 Now, what happened is, one of our base commanders, 546 00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:32,150 he had a sort of... 547 00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:35,678 Well, he went a little funny in the head. 548 00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:37,711 Just a little funny. 549 00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:43,275 You know, and he went and did a silly thing. 550 00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:45,638 Oh, now, don't be mad at me, Dmitri. 551 00:54:45,760 --> 00:54:48,911 Remember that time we were dancing with Natalia? 552 00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:53,033 You remember Natalia, the girl with the huge... arthritic problem. 553 00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:57,637 Sorry, Stan. 554 00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:06,678 I can assure you... I can assure you, Major Bat Guano - 555 00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:08,597 if that is indeed your name - 556 00:55:08,720 --> 00:55:11,712 if you don't put that gun away and stop this nonsense, 557 00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:15,719 the court inquiry is gonna come down on you like a ton of bricks. 558 00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:19,549 The court inquiry is gonna... give you such a pranging. 559 00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:23,192 - Mr Sellers. - Hilary. 560 00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:27,233 - What happened to my luncheon? - Your mother's here. 561 00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:31,150 Shall I tell her you're in make-up? 562 00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:38,715 No, I'll be right there. 563 00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,070 You missed Sarah's birthday. 564 00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:49,953 Peter, you know the press pay a lot of attention to that sort of thing. 565 00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:54,153 You know, liebchen, that is not chicken that you are eating. 566 00:55:56,960 --> 00:56:00,350 Anyway, I told the man at The Times that you were busy filming, 567 00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:04,712 that you'd sent your love and nothing was more important to you than your children. 568 00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:07,035 I think he was satisfied with that. 569 00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:16,030 Sarah made you that. 570 00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:23,556 Eat your lunch. 571 00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:29,073 You know, in ze comink years, 572 00:56:29,200 --> 00:56:31,555 ze nuclear family as we know it 573 00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:34,436 will have ceased to exist. 574 00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,150 All human requirements... 575 00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:45,755 will be dealt with cleanly and efficiently. 576 00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:50,398 Nourishment. 577 00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:53,270 Leisure pastimes. 578 00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:56,750 Sexual partners. 579 00:56:58,080 --> 00:57:02,551 All zeez problems vill be regulated by ze state. 580 00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:06,434 So you see there will be no need for food. 581 00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:10,270 Or mothers... 582 00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:28,397 How was lunch with your son, Mrs Sellers? 583 00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:31,876 I don't know, really. I didn't see him. 584 00:57:49,040 --> 00:57:52,077 - Anybody home? - In here. 585 00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:55,510 - Hello, you. - Annie, Annie darling. 586 00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:04,391 - Sarah Sellers? - I'm Sarah. 587 00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:07,920 Oh. There you go, then, deary. 588 00:58:09,800 --> 00:58:11,631 Let's have a look. 589 00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:16,992 "For Sarah. Maybe one day I'll teach you to ride it. Love, Daddy." 590 00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:19,190 Just sign here, madam. 591 00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:22,790 Go and have a look, love. Thanks. 592 00:58:25,360 --> 00:58:29,114 "Boys. Boy, I say, boy. I say, boy. 593 00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:32,949 "Boys, let's get this on the hump. We got some flyin' to do." 594 00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:35,878 - Flatter. - I'm not playing a bomber pilot. 595 00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:39,276 What can I do with that, crammed in there? Oh, look. 596 00:58:39,400 --> 00:58:41,356 Let me just hear it again. 597 00:58:41,480 --> 00:58:44,836 Three characters is enough. Three is a good number. 598 00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:48,748 - You're being paid for four. - You're stretching me too thin. 599 00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:51,269 Who do you think I am? 600 00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:53,516 I think you're whoever I want you to be. 601 00:58:53,640 --> 00:58:55,870 Then who am I now? 602 00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:02,917 Peter, have you ever heard of Mutually Assured Destruction? 603 00:59:03,520 --> 00:59:05,431 Hum a few bars and I'll join in. 604 00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:12,795 It refers to when both sides in an atomic conflict are so powerful 605 00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:15,480 that if either side were to take action, 606 00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:20,549 it would inevitably result in the total annihilation of all concerned. 607 00:59:20,680 --> 00:59:24,070 I find this concept can be applied to many situations. 608 00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:31,354 You're a peculiar fucker, Stan. 609 00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:34,516 Wait. Peter... 610 00:59:35,360 --> 00:59:37,271 Peter... 611 00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:41,313 Can we have the ladders, please? Finish off this painting. 612 00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:46,435 You've got no idea what it's like to be me. 613 00:59:46,560 --> 00:59:48,915 We haven't got time for that. 614 00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:56,956 Absolute control is a useful thing. 615 01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:04,955 Eliminate the personal element... and you can get so much more done. 616 01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:11,394 This was a realisation that Peter Sellers never had to face... 617 01:00:13,240 --> 01:00:16,152 because there was no person there to begin with. 618 01:00:17,440 --> 01:00:19,670 He was a vessel 619 01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:25,238 into which characters and personalities ran like phantoms. 620 01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:31,673 But even an empty vessel can become too full. 621 01:00:35,280 --> 01:00:37,316 I'm not getting it! 622 01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:41,231 I'm useless! 623 01:00:45,080 --> 01:00:51,519 Sarah, your father is a useless, talentless, empty man. Did you know that? 624 01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:54,592 Yes, Daddy. 625 01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:57,471 Right, then. 626 01:01:06,240 --> 01:01:09,152 - Dad? - Use the other loo, Mike. I'm busy. 627 01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:12,116 I don't have to go, Dad. 628 01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:18,390 Please open the door. 629 01:01:26,720 --> 01:01:29,280 - What d'you want? - Are you all right? 630 01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:33,430 No. I'm not all right. I'm not all right at all. 631 01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:37,951 I can't find the voice for Major King Kong. That's all I'm hired for. 632 01:01:38,080 --> 01:01:40,230 I can't find it because it's not there! 633 01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:45,829 - Dad. - Your dad doesn't exist! 634 01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:49,034 Where's the bloody Seconal? 635 01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:11,313 Dad. When I didn't want to play rugby at school, 636 01:02:11,440 --> 01:02:13,590 I said I was sick when I wasn't. 637 01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:19,394 They let me sit in the nurse's office. She was very pretty. 638 01:02:24,960 --> 01:02:26,871 Was she? 639 01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:43,110 Morning, Stan. 640 01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:49,438 I'm afraid I had a spot of bother getting out of a cab last night. 641 01:02:51,040 --> 01:02:53,315 Damned nuisance. 642 01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:57,194 The doctor assures me it's only a hairline crack. 643 01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:07,549 Just don't let the insurance chaps find out. 644 01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:11,998 Blake Edwards has got this new Panther script 645 01:03:14,440 --> 01:03:19,036 and Sellers is waffling, so if you could help convince him to do it... 646 01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:21,991 Exactly. What? 647 01:03:23,720 --> 01:03:25,790 Blake Edwards. 648 01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:28,878 My girl will wire the money today. What's the account? 649 01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:35,030 The Midland Bank, Mayfair branch. Account number 462501. 650 01:03:35,160 --> 01:03:36,912 Right. Thanks. 651 01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:40,999 Not at all. Pleasure doing business with you. Oh, a word of advice - 652 01:03:41,120 --> 01:03:45,079 don't even think of driving a red or a white car this weekend. 653 01:03:45,200 --> 01:03:47,236 Not at all. 654 01:03:49,320 --> 01:03:51,390 So... 655 01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:53,431 Pink Panther. 656 01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:56,396 No. No, too obvious. 657 01:03:57,080 --> 01:03:59,310 Blake Edwards. 658 01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:02,358 B.E. 659 01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:08,392 Well, hooray for Hollywood. 660 01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:16,071 That's extraordinary. Peter, this is good news. 661 01:04:16,200 --> 01:04:19,988 You're going to become involved with a very special person. 662 01:04:20,120 --> 01:04:22,998 It's going to spawn a very fruitful partnership. 663 01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:28,118 I'm even getting the initials. 664 01:04:28,240 --> 01:04:31,277 It's... Ah! V-E. 665 01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:34,358 It's V-P... V-E. 666 01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:36,994 V-P, V-E. No! B... B-E. 667 01:04:37,920 --> 01:04:41,390 Peter, you must not let this person go. 668 01:04:41,520 --> 01:04:46,719 Destiny's already written this chapter. You must act positively. 669 01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:51,231 Yeah? So, say with me, "B-E." 670 01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:12,031 Mr Sellers, sir? 671 01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:15,436 God. What? 672 01:05:17,680 --> 01:05:19,750 Mr Sellers, are you in there? 673 01:05:22,760 --> 01:05:25,035 - Mr Sellers? - Go away. 674 01:05:28,560 --> 01:05:32,155 - Are you sure you're all right, sir? - Yes, I am. 675 01:05:32,280 --> 01:05:36,558 Just take your fresh fruit and shove it up your arse. 676 01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:39,194 Righto, sir. Thank you very much, sir. 677 01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:56,191 Britt Ekland. 678 01:06:01,120 --> 01:06:03,111 Hello, Britt. You must be Britt. 679 01:06:03,240 --> 01:06:05,674 You're Britt Ekland! 680 01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:07,438 I'm Peter. 681 01:06:07,560 --> 01:06:09,835 Peter Sellers. But call me Peter. 682 01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:11,951 Baby. 683 01:06:12,080 --> 01:06:13,957 Oh, sorry. 684 01:06:22,360 --> 01:06:23,759 B-E. 685 01:06:23,880 --> 01:06:26,838 PS. That's nice. 686 01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:35,077 I like Swedes. Mashed. 687 01:06:40,280 --> 01:06:42,271 Hello. 688 01:06:42,400 --> 01:06:44,709 I'm Peter. Peter Sellers. 689 01:06:45,680 --> 01:06:47,910 Like you, I didn't have much on this evening 690 01:06:48,040 --> 01:06:50,713 and I wanted to know if you'd like to go and see a movie. 691 01:07:46,240 --> 01:07:48,356 I think I'm in love with you. 692 01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:52,270 But you've just met me. 693 01:07:53,000 --> 01:07:55,275 Then it's still fresh in my mind. 694 01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:02,432 Cookie? 695 01:08:02,560 --> 01:08:04,278 Yes, please. 696 01:08:12,920 --> 01:08:16,515 That is very, very good. Just look here. Super. 697 01:08:16,640 --> 01:08:19,552 Super. Yes, that's... Now, just look here. 698 01:08:19,680 --> 01:08:22,433 Look here. Good. Very nice. 699 01:08:22,560 --> 01:08:26,235 I'll come in closer. It's all right, I've met this sofa. 700 01:08:26,360 --> 01:08:28,316 We're on intimate terms. 701 01:08:31,040 --> 01:08:33,474 Work with me. That is good. 702 01:08:33,600 --> 01:08:37,673 Thinks, "Must take up photography as full-time job." 703 01:08:37,800 --> 01:08:40,837 Now I need to get in closer. Come the full length. 704 01:08:41,880 --> 01:08:44,235 Yeah. Mind if I sit here? 705 01:08:45,080 --> 01:08:48,868 Oh, God, I haven't felt leather like this on my thighs since the Third Reich. 706 01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:50,911 Good. Get rid of that there. 707 01:08:54,520 --> 01:08:56,590 Truly, truly beautiful. 708 01:09:09,320 --> 01:09:14,519 She is the most extraordinary girl. Like a tulip about to bloom. 709 01:09:14,640 --> 01:09:17,029 Absolutely exquisite. 710 01:09:18,160 --> 01:09:20,071 Phenomenal in bed. 711 01:09:21,880 --> 01:09:24,189 It is funny, isn't it? 712 01:09:24,320 --> 01:09:28,393 I keep saying that I'll never get hooked again, I'm tired of having my heart bleed, 713 01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:30,670 yet I think I want to marry her. 714 01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:35,516 That is, if you think it's OK. 715 01:09:43,440 --> 01:09:44,953 Oh, decisions, decisions. 716 01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:49,631 - Will you come to my suite, my sweet. - Drive on, James! Now! 717 01:09:53,480 --> 01:09:55,550 Ooh, it's the cops. Act normal. 718 01:09:55,680 --> 01:09:58,399 It's all right, Officer, I'm fully licensed. 719 01:10:01,640 --> 01:10:04,313 Oh, I'm so sorry, my darling. 720 01:10:09,760 --> 01:10:11,955 Care to put on some music, love? 721 01:10:19,080 --> 01:10:22,311 - It doesn't work. - Don't trouble yourself, sweetheart. 722 01:10:22,440 --> 01:10:25,432 There are many ways of making beautiful music. 723 01:10:25,560 --> 01:10:27,039 Cheers. 724 01:10:34,320 --> 01:10:39,394 It's a bit dark in here. Could you get the curtains, darling? It's that switch. 725 01:11:46,080 --> 01:11:49,789 What d'you say? Would you care to become the second Mrs Sellers? 726 01:11:57,480 --> 01:12:01,189 Better hurry up, love. I've only got the band for another half-hour. 727 01:12:26,960 --> 01:12:29,076 I love you, Peter! 728 01:12:31,040 --> 01:12:32,632 Do you hear that, folks? 729 01:12:32,760 --> 01:12:35,718 - She loves me on a scratched film. - Here we go! 730 01:13:07,400 --> 01:13:09,516 Peg, what do you think of the new cottage? 731 01:13:09,640 --> 01:13:13,792 - You're watering the gin. - In your case, that's not a bad idea. 732 01:13:16,040 --> 01:13:18,600 You've only known that Nazi for three weeks. 733 01:13:18,720 --> 01:13:20,790 Peg, I couldn't be happier. 734 01:13:21,840 --> 01:13:24,479 Why are you making the same mistake all over again? 735 01:13:24,600 --> 01:13:27,512 Because, my love, they won't let me marry you. 736 01:13:28,280 --> 01:13:31,556 Mr Sellers, how's about a shot of you and your mum? 737 01:13:31,680 --> 01:13:33,477 So, where's your honeymoon? 738 01:13:33,600 --> 01:13:36,512 Where else, Peg? Hollywood, US of A. 739 01:13:41,560 --> 01:13:44,996 - Happy, darling? - I'm about to be. 740 01:13:54,120 --> 01:13:55,473 Oh, that's good! 741 01:13:55,600 --> 01:13:59,639 Oh, that's good! Oh, my God! You're very good, you know. 742 01:13:59,760 --> 01:14:01,796 Wait. Wait. Wait. 743 01:14:04,440 --> 01:14:07,000 - No. Oh. - Breathe. Breathe. Breathe in. 744 01:14:36,240 --> 01:14:38,435 Are you sure you're my wife? 745 01:14:38,560 --> 01:14:40,790 What do you mean? 746 01:14:40,920 --> 01:14:44,151 Because no wife should be that good in the sack. 747 01:14:50,760 --> 01:14:52,830 Is that what I look like? 748 01:14:57,400 --> 01:14:59,311 Just one minute. 749 01:15:10,920 --> 01:15:12,831 Peter. 750 01:15:15,880 --> 01:15:18,713 - Britt, call a doctor, would you? - Peter... 751 01:15:20,920 --> 01:15:22,990 Send for the anaesthetist. 752 01:15:26,720 --> 01:15:29,075 Just try to breathe, Peter. 753 01:15:32,200 --> 01:15:35,954 Would you wait outside, Mrs Sellers? It's gonna be fine. Please. 754 01:15:38,320 --> 01:15:40,231 He's arrested. 755 01:15:40,360 --> 01:15:43,079 - OK, let's charge to 120. - 120. 756 01:15:49,480 --> 01:15:51,755 Clear. 757 01:15:51,880 --> 01:15:54,792 - No pulse. - Come on. 758 01:15:54,920 --> 01:16:00,233 ...Peter Sellers, fighting for his life in a California hospital. 759 01:16:00,360 --> 01:16:03,158 Mr Sellers has suffered a serious setback. 760 01:16:03,280 --> 01:16:06,955 His condition is said to be grave and deteriorating. 761 01:16:09,360 --> 01:16:11,078 No pulse. 762 01:16:12,680 --> 01:16:14,591 Clear. 763 01:16:19,720 --> 01:16:21,711 There you go. 764 01:16:22,640 --> 01:16:24,631 Oh, God, Mother. 765 01:16:24,760 --> 01:16:27,558 Mother, we've only been married for six weeks. 766 01:16:32,160 --> 01:16:34,355 They don't know. 767 01:16:34,480 --> 01:16:36,277 I don't know. 768 01:16:37,720 --> 01:16:39,790 Damn! He's gone again. 769 01:16:39,920 --> 01:16:42,514 - OK, charge to 180. - 180. 770 01:16:52,840 --> 01:16:54,558 Clear. 771 01:16:54,680 --> 01:16:59,515 We have been informed that his father also succumbed... 772 01:17:00,720 --> 01:17:04,918 Having come to fame some years ago as a member of The Goon Show... 773 01:17:05,040 --> 01:17:07,031 Both channels. 774 01:17:08,600 --> 01:17:11,319 - Clear. - Still no pulse. 775 01:17:11,440 --> 01:17:13,829 - Charge to 240. - 240. 776 01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:19,991 Clear. 777 01:17:22,240 --> 01:17:24,470 Come on, Peter, come on. 778 01:18:07,400 --> 01:18:10,153 Please do give my regards to your president. 779 01:18:10,280 --> 01:18:12,840 And I thought I knew something about... 780 01:18:12,960 --> 01:18:14,678 The Doomsday machine... 781 01:18:14,800 --> 01:18:16,950 You've had a little too much... 782 01:18:17,080 --> 01:18:20,675 It is essential that we do not have fear... 783 01:18:20,800 --> 01:18:23,360 Perhaps a little... 784 01:18:23,480 --> 01:18:25,471 I have no hesitation, categorically... 785 01:18:25,600 --> 01:18:27,556 I don't care... 786 01:18:30,600 --> 01:18:35,355 You've got enough on at the moment without having any more piled on. 787 01:18:35,480 --> 01:18:36,993 Tell the world. 788 01:18:37,120 --> 01:18:40,192 - They mentioned something... - On the one hand... 789 01:18:45,080 --> 01:18:47,674 Watch out! 790 01:18:47,800 --> 01:18:49,552 Comrades, the meeting is closed. 791 01:18:49,680 --> 01:18:50,192 There will be ten females to every male. 792 01:18:56,120 --> 01:18:57,997 - I'm out of here, mate. - I think so. 793 01:18:58,120 --> 01:19:00,873 ...for the burmb. - Oh, Mein F�hrer! 794 01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:03,389 Oh, goodness me. I'm a man! 795 01:19:07,280 --> 01:19:08,838 Yeah! 796 01:19:16,400 --> 01:19:18,038 OK, we got him back. 797 01:19:18,160 --> 01:19:20,310 Let's get an IV in. 798 01:19:33,080 --> 01:19:35,071 Hello, children. 799 01:19:49,080 --> 01:19:51,196 Can I have a little fairy kiss? 800 01:19:55,760 --> 01:19:57,876 The spirits have spoken. 801 01:19:58,560 --> 01:20:00,790 Daddy's come back from the dead. 802 01:20:01,760 --> 01:20:04,433 And nothing can ever hurt him again. 803 01:20:12,560 --> 01:20:14,391 Peter? 804 01:20:14,920 --> 01:20:16,797 Peter? 805 01:20:17,720 --> 01:20:19,438 Come on. Good boy. 806 01:20:29,240 --> 01:20:31,196 Peter! 807 01:20:36,440 --> 01:20:38,476 You're still weak. 808 01:20:39,680 --> 01:20:41,989 This isn't taking care of yourself. 809 01:20:42,120 --> 01:20:46,272 From now on there'll be no more characters, no more costumes. 810 01:20:49,000 --> 01:20:51,070 Starting next week, 811 01:20:51,200 --> 01:20:54,829 the world's going to get a look at the real Peter Sellers. 812 01:20:56,240 --> 01:20:58,834 What's next week? 813 01:21:27,200 --> 01:21:31,239 Who are you? How did you get past my guards? 814 01:21:31,360 --> 01:21:35,069 Good evening, darling. My name is Bond. James Bond. 815 01:21:36,160 --> 01:21:38,151 You know. 816 01:21:44,320 --> 01:21:47,198 Aren't you going to do something... funny? 817 01:21:51,760 --> 01:21:55,196 - Cut! - First positions everyone! 818 01:21:56,720 --> 01:21:58,711 How we doing, Pete? 819 01:21:59,840 --> 01:22:03,469 Feel free to, er, improvise. 820 01:22:03,600 --> 01:22:05,670 We're doing a spoof here, remember. 821 01:22:06,360 --> 01:22:09,750 I'm playing it straight, as myself. Like Cary Grant. 822 01:22:12,520 --> 01:22:14,670 That's funny. Yeah. 823 01:22:15,320 --> 01:22:19,313 That's... that's very good. Yeah. Yeah. Satirical, yeah. 824 01:22:20,960 --> 01:22:22,996 Good evening. My name's Bond. 825 01:22:23,560 --> 01:22:25,471 James Bond. 826 01:22:33,160 --> 01:22:35,276 My God, but you're lovely. 827 01:22:49,720 --> 01:22:51,711 That was great! 828 01:22:51,840 --> 01:22:53,831 Genius. 829 01:23:23,280 --> 01:23:25,840 We meet again. I knew you wouldn't give up. 830 01:23:25,960 --> 01:23:30,795 - Christ, Peter. When are you coming back? - Wouldn't you like to know? 831 01:23:30,920 --> 01:23:34,799 Seeing as we're three weeks behind schedule, yeah, I would. 832 01:23:36,280 --> 01:23:38,669 You know, Joe, I think today is not a lucky day. 833 01:23:38,800 --> 01:23:42,190 Not lucky at all. The voices are telling me not to risk it. 834 01:23:42,320 --> 01:23:47,269 I hear voices, too, Peter! And d'you know what they tell me? 835 01:23:47,400 --> 01:23:50,870 They tell me that if you're not on the set by this afternoon, 836 01:23:51,000 --> 01:23:53,389 both your legs are gonna be broken! 837 01:23:56,640 --> 01:23:59,950 I don't think we're hearing the same voices. 838 01:24:02,400 --> 01:24:06,393 Peter, you wanker! Get back here! Now! 839 01:24:44,320 --> 01:24:47,756 - Hello. - Just answering nature's call. 840 01:25:02,560 --> 01:25:04,915 I'm not feeling very well. 841 01:25:05,680 --> 01:25:08,956 Darling, there are lots of other bathrooms in the house. 842 01:25:09,080 --> 01:25:11,230 That's not what I meant. 843 01:25:13,840 --> 01:25:17,116 - What? - I'm pregnant. 844 01:25:24,160 --> 01:25:26,469 Oh, well, 845 01:25:26,600 --> 01:25:28,909 I suppose you'll have to... you know. 846 01:25:29,760 --> 01:25:31,716 What? 847 01:25:31,840 --> 01:25:35,719 Well, have an abortion, sweetheart. I'm sure it can be arranged. 848 01:25:35,840 --> 01:25:38,593 No. I want this child. 849 01:25:39,280 --> 01:25:41,475 I've got two already. Have one of mine. 850 01:25:41,600 --> 01:25:45,593 Peter, I want to be a mother to our child. 851 01:25:47,640 --> 01:25:51,713 I've always... given you room for what you needed. 852 01:25:51,840 --> 01:25:54,115 - Darling, is now the right time? - Yes. 853 01:25:56,000 --> 01:25:57,991 You are healthy. 854 01:25:58,120 --> 01:26:00,475 We are in love. 855 01:26:02,760 --> 01:26:04,955 Oh, Peter, let's have this baby. 856 01:26:09,520 --> 01:26:12,478 - Bombs away. - Plop. 857 01:26:17,880 --> 01:26:19,791 Well, you hurry up. 858 01:26:20,800 --> 01:26:22,916 And I'll go and call Mother. 859 01:26:46,640 --> 01:26:48,870 Keep breathing, love. 860 01:26:49,000 --> 01:26:50,991 The hospital's just up ahead... 861 01:26:52,160 --> 01:26:54,355 I think. 862 01:27:07,040 --> 01:27:09,270 All right, lads, give her some air. 863 01:27:11,160 --> 01:27:13,549 Oh, we're fine, thank you. 864 01:27:13,680 --> 01:27:17,593 - How d'you feel third time around? - Ecstatic, absolutely thrilling. 865 01:27:22,560 --> 01:27:24,596 You'll be fine. Just make it quick. 866 01:27:24,720 --> 01:27:29,840 - We start filming in a week. - Don't you worry, you'll be all right. 867 01:27:30,720 --> 01:27:32,711 I'll take care of you now. 868 01:27:44,440 --> 01:27:46,715 Goddammit! 869 01:27:47,720 --> 01:27:49,836 Cut! 870 01:27:53,080 --> 01:27:55,719 Take the fucking baby and get the hell off the set. 871 01:27:55,840 --> 01:27:57,990 Please. She's fine now. 872 01:27:58,120 --> 01:28:00,475 - Off! - No. 873 01:28:00,600 --> 01:28:02,670 My big scene is coming up. 874 01:28:03,600 --> 01:28:05,556 Not any more. 875 01:28:13,360 --> 01:28:16,750 Fine. You do it. Ciao. 876 01:28:33,240 --> 01:28:35,913 - Yes. - Is that my Peter? 877 01:28:37,200 --> 01:28:39,953 Hello, Peg. What's the news from the front? 878 01:28:41,440 --> 01:28:43,476 I'm in hospital. 879 01:28:44,480 --> 01:28:47,358 It's the old heart, Peter. 880 01:28:47,480 --> 01:28:50,790 Oh, well, we all know about that one, dear. You'll be up in no time. 881 01:28:52,000 --> 01:28:53,956 That's not what the doctors say. 882 01:28:54,080 --> 01:28:55,991 They're trying to bump up their fee. 883 01:28:56,120 --> 01:29:01,069 If they say you're dying, when you walk out they can claim they saved your life. 884 01:29:03,120 --> 01:29:05,918 Come home, love. I need to see you. 885 01:29:07,760 --> 01:29:09,671 Nonsense, Peg. 886 01:29:09,800 --> 01:29:13,509 All you need is a wash and brush-up and you'll be as good as new. 887 01:29:14,640 --> 01:29:17,154 No, it's not like that. Listen... 888 01:29:18,440 --> 01:29:20,476 Just a minute. 889 01:29:21,440 --> 01:29:24,000 Your boy's needed, Peg. You understand. 890 01:29:24,120 --> 01:29:26,111 I'm a star now. 891 01:29:26,240 --> 01:29:28,549 These people can't do a thing without me. 892 01:29:29,320 --> 01:29:31,515 It's everything you ever wanted. 893 01:29:33,600 --> 01:29:35,636 I love you, Peter. 894 01:29:40,800 --> 01:29:43,473 I'll see you soon. We'll go to tea. 895 01:29:45,760 --> 01:29:47,352 Peter? 896 01:30:19,760 --> 01:30:22,274 See how strong he was. 897 01:30:27,720 --> 01:30:31,030 Most men would have crumpled at, "I love you, Peter." 898 01:30:31,160 --> 01:30:33,196 But not my son. 899 01:30:41,800 --> 01:30:44,155 He came through like a champion. 900 01:30:51,280 --> 01:30:54,158 A star has an obligation to himself. 901 01:30:55,640 --> 01:30:57,710 Family weighs you down. 902 01:31:01,320 --> 01:31:05,154 You think he was cruel to me? Of course he was. 903 01:31:05,280 --> 01:31:08,158 That just means that he'd learnt his lesson. 904 01:31:16,200 --> 01:31:20,273 There are no rungs for the weak on the ladder of success. 905 01:31:27,000 --> 01:31:30,879 And my Peter is a strong climber. 906 01:31:57,760 --> 01:32:01,435 Real stars don't have time for tears. 907 01:33:23,240 --> 01:33:25,515 Can I get you anything, my darling? 908 01:33:30,160 --> 01:33:32,071 Oh, Peter. 909 01:33:33,360 --> 01:33:35,669 There's nothing you could have done. 910 01:33:40,280 --> 01:33:42,430 It's not your fault. 911 01:33:44,920 --> 01:33:47,036 "It's not your fault. 912 01:33:48,680 --> 01:33:50,830 "There's nothing you could have done." 913 01:33:50,960 --> 01:33:55,351 - Oh, Peter, stop it. - "Oh, Peter, stop it. Stop it, Peter." 914 01:33:56,080 --> 01:33:58,310 Christ, woman, can't you say anything real? 915 01:33:59,040 --> 01:34:01,759 First of all you can't act, then you can't stop. 916 01:34:01,880 --> 01:34:04,030 - You... - Just shut up! 917 01:34:07,080 --> 01:34:09,719 - You bastard! - Am I? Am I? 918 01:34:09,840 --> 01:34:13,594 - You've no idea. - Fuck you! 919 01:34:13,720 --> 01:34:15,711 No! Fuck you! 920 01:34:26,080 --> 01:34:27,991 You hit me with me mum. 921 01:34:31,040 --> 01:34:32,758 Fuck you, Peter! 922 01:34:32,880 --> 01:34:34,950 Fuck you and your mum! 923 01:34:46,680 --> 01:34:48,511 Mama, mama, mama, mama. 924 01:35:42,240 --> 01:35:43,958 Pretty num-num. 925 01:35:51,040 --> 01:35:52,951 Oh, dear. 926 01:36:03,080 --> 01:36:05,469 Well, Mr Sellers, 927 01:36:05,600 --> 01:36:07,636 what would you like to look like? 928 01:36:07,760 --> 01:36:09,955 Why, Doctor, I'd like to look like you. 929 01:36:18,520 --> 01:36:20,750 You know how they clean theatres? 930 01:36:20,880 --> 01:36:24,998 They put on one of my films. It's so easy to hoover between empty seats. 931 01:36:25,120 --> 01:36:28,476 Now I've found something I really want to do 932 01:36:28,600 --> 01:36:31,239 and I can't get anyone to give me the cash. 933 01:36:32,360 --> 01:36:34,954 I've read this ten times in the last year. 934 01:36:35,080 --> 01:36:37,913 The main character is a man with no self. 935 01:36:38,040 --> 01:36:40,110 No discernible personality. 936 01:36:41,360 --> 01:36:43,874 I find myself thinking about this man a great deal. 937 01:36:44,000 --> 01:36:45,638 About how sad he is? 938 01:36:45,760 --> 01:36:48,991 No, about how marvellous his life must be. 939 01:36:49,120 --> 01:36:51,953 He has no future, no past, no responsibilities. 940 01:36:52,640 --> 01:36:55,677 He's simple, boring, an absolute blank. 941 01:36:55,800 --> 01:36:59,349 People expect nothing from him and love it when they get just that. 942 01:37:01,240 --> 01:37:03,435 This is going to be my next film. 943 01:37:03,560 --> 01:37:07,314 - Are you absolutely sure about that? - Absolutely. 944 01:37:08,320 --> 01:37:11,551 Cos you do have a choice, you know. 945 01:37:14,040 --> 01:37:18,272 - Have you read it? - I've made some notes. 946 01:37:19,200 --> 01:37:21,350 I think it could be very funny. 947 01:37:21,960 --> 01:37:24,679 I don't like choice, Maurice. 948 01:37:24,800 --> 01:37:25,596 You're so full of doubt. 949 01:37:28,240 --> 01:37:30,470 How can we make that doubt go away? 950 01:37:31,120 --> 01:37:33,190 We know, don't we? 951 01:37:33,960 --> 01:37:37,236 Peg? Peg, can you hear me? 952 01:37:37,960 --> 01:37:39,871 Peg sees you, Peter. 953 01:37:48,440 --> 01:37:50,351 Hello, Peg. 954 01:37:50,480 --> 01:37:52,869 I love you, Peg. 955 01:37:53,000 --> 01:37:55,275 What do you need from me, dear? 956 01:37:55,400 --> 01:37:57,630 I don't know what to do next. 957 01:37:59,240 --> 01:38:01,151 My heart's been troubling me. 958 01:38:01,280 --> 01:38:04,033 And I think, I think my mind... 959 01:38:05,320 --> 01:38:07,436 Peg's here. 960 01:38:07,560 --> 01:38:09,755 She's always with you, Peter. 961 01:38:09,880 --> 01:38:11,950 Now I've had a look at your heart 962 01:38:12,080 --> 01:38:14,150 and your heart's fine. 963 01:38:14,280 --> 01:38:16,396 Now what you need to do is work. 964 01:38:17,200 --> 01:38:20,795 You give so much joy to so many people, Peter. 965 01:38:20,920 --> 01:38:22,990 I can see it from here. 966 01:38:24,600 --> 01:38:26,989 Do it for me, for your mother. 967 01:38:27,880 --> 01:38:29,916 Do another Pink Panther. 968 01:38:31,240 --> 01:38:34,152 Are you sure, Peg? Are you really sure? 969 01:38:36,360 --> 01:38:38,510 Lt'll be a huge hit. 970 01:38:39,240 --> 01:38:43,119 And that'll give you the power to make Being There. 971 01:39:00,480 --> 01:39:04,029 I hear this one's not coming to a theatre near me. 972 01:39:06,160 --> 01:39:09,550 The studio deemed its box-office potential as limited. 973 01:39:11,440 --> 01:39:14,318 Then I suppose this comes at just the right time. 974 01:39:16,720 --> 01:39:18,472 I could never be this broke. 975 01:39:20,920 --> 01:39:23,434 It wasn't easy for me to come here, Peter. 976 01:39:25,960 --> 01:39:28,190 Why, did your limousine break down? 977 01:39:28,320 --> 01:39:30,675 I considered making you kiss my ass. 978 01:39:30,800 --> 01:39:33,439 Not after that script's been through it. 979 01:39:33,560 --> 01:39:35,915 Still the funniest bastard around. 980 01:39:36,040 --> 01:39:38,474 Look, Peter, I didn't come out of desperation. 981 01:39:38,600 --> 01:39:43,037 I think it's a good idea and I can't do it without you. You need the money, I don't. 982 01:39:43,160 --> 01:39:46,630 And I don't need the aggravation that you're gonna bring me. 983 01:39:47,960 --> 01:39:49,871 What if I told you to fuck off? 984 01:39:53,280 --> 01:39:56,670 I'd say your ex-wives will be disappointed in that attitude. 985 01:39:56,800 --> 01:39:58,279 - Fuck my ex-wives. - I have. 986 01:39:58,400 --> 01:40:01,198 Now I know why you divorced 'em. 987 01:40:06,480 --> 01:40:13,352 Blakey! You are the only son of a bitch who really understands me. 988 01:40:13,480 --> 01:40:16,040 - God. I love you. - I love you, Peter. 989 01:40:16,160 --> 01:40:18,196 How sad is that? 990 01:40:21,080 --> 01:40:24,868 This script could be terrific. We'll give it the Sellers-Edwards touch. 991 01:40:25,000 --> 01:40:28,470 - I've got lots of ideas. - We start shooting in six weeks. 992 01:40:30,960 --> 01:40:33,030 Better make it eight. 993 01:40:34,200 --> 01:40:37,795 Peter... I'm calling the shots here. 994 01:41:08,000 --> 01:41:10,150 Darling! Over here! 995 01:41:11,840 --> 01:41:15,071 This is sure to be another stunning success. How does it feel? 996 01:41:15,200 --> 01:41:18,112 - Well-deserved, I can assure you. - Thank you. 997 01:41:22,080 --> 01:41:25,356 Hello, Blakey. Is this going to be your usual load of rubbish? 998 01:41:37,640 --> 01:41:41,952 Hello, my dear friends. Thank you for coming out tonight. 999 01:41:51,080 --> 01:41:54,436 I have something I'd like very much to say to you all. 1000 01:41:54,560 --> 01:41:59,031 We would not all be here if it were not for the efforts of one man - 1001 01:41:59,160 --> 01:42:04,598 one man whose vision you will soon see writ large on the silver screen. 1002 01:42:05,560 --> 01:42:08,313 I am of course referring to Mr Blake Edwards. 1003 01:42:09,800 --> 01:42:11,472 Get him up here, folks. 1004 01:42:11,600 --> 01:42:14,398 Come on, Blakey. Up you come. 1005 01:42:15,360 --> 01:42:17,351 Jolly good. 1006 01:42:18,360 --> 01:42:21,272 - Come on! - Thank you! 1007 01:42:22,240 --> 01:42:24,071 Thank you! 1008 01:42:26,680 --> 01:42:29,035 Let me tell you something about this man. 1009 01:42:29,160 --> 01:42:33,039 He is absolutely talentless. 1010 01:42:35,520 --> 01:42:36,157 No, but seriously, no one - and I repeat that - 1011 01:42:38,520 --> 01:42:43,310 no one has managed to do so much, having so very little. 1012 01:42:45,200 --> 01:42:46,428 Give me that. 1013 01:42:46,560 --> 01:42:49,233 People ask me why I compromise my artistic integrity 1014 01:42:49,360 --> 01:42:51,590 by walking in front of Blake's cameras. 1015 01:42:53,480 --> 01:42:56,677 You know what I tell them? Money. 1016 01:42:57,520 --> 01:42:59,590 It's true. 1017 01:43:02,400 --> 01:43:05,437 That and the knowledge that no matter how bad the picture is, 1018 01:43:05,560 --> 01:43:07,790 I'll always be the best thing in it. 1019 01:43:08,720 --> 01:43:11,917 - Thank you. - Oh, look, he's bashful, folks. 1020 01:43:12,600 --> 01:43:16,673 Why shouldn't he be? In an industry that worships mediocrity, 1021 01:43:16,800 --> 01:43:19,712 you, Blake, truly have added new lustre 1022 01:43:19,840 --> 01:43:23,037 to the term "middling talent". 1023 01:43:27,600 --> 01:43:31,593 So enjoy the show... if that's at all possible. 1024 01:43:42,920 --> 01:43:44,831 I... 1025 01:43:47,080 --> 01:43:49,116 I knew we should've gotten Ustinov. 1026 01:44:30,680 --> 01:44:34,798 The ambitious Sellers presents a portrait of determination. 1027 01:44:37,840 --> 01:44:40,354 You've reached the home of Peter Sellers. 1028 01:44:40,440 --> 01:44:45,036 Mr Sellers is unable to take your call, as he is off leading a normal life. 1029 01:44:45,160 --> 01:44:47,913 Please leave your message after the series of tones. 1030 01:44:49,080 --> 01:44:51,275 Oh. Hi, Dad, it's me, Mike. 1031 01:44:51,400 --> 01:44:55,439 I tried you on the phone but Sarah thought you might be in Switzerland. 1032 01:44:55,560 --> 01:44:59,872 Anyway, Mum told me about the operation, the pacemaker and everything. 1033 01:45:00,000 --> 01:45:03,151 That must be fun. I know how you like gadgets. 1034 01:45:04,520 --> 01:45:07,557 Well, anyway, I hope you're, er, you're OK. 1035 01:45:08,480 --> 01:45:11,278 Right, take care, Dad. Bye. 1036 01:45:34,120 --> 01:45:36,759 I'm just an old, salty sea dog. 1037 01:46:10,840 --> 01:46:13,195 Peter, are you in there? 1038 01:46:16,480 --> 01:46:18,994 Will you give me a goddamn break already? 1039 01:46:25,200 --> 01:46:29,398 You know something, Sellers, you are a major league pain in the ass. 1040 01:46:30,360 --> 01:46:32,271 Peter! 1041 01:46:42,720 --> 01:46:46,793 Was he difficult? He was the star - of course he was difficult. 1042 01:46:47,600 --> 01:46:50,478 You know who's not difficult? Troy Donahue. 1043 01:46:52,240 --> 01:46:55,038 Christ. I need a smoke. 1044 01:46:57,840 --> 01:47:01,150 I worked with Sellers for what, 20 years, on and off? 1045 01:47:05,640 --> 01:47:08,154 Six movies. 1046 01:47:08,280 --> 01:47:10,475 I never laughed so hard. 1047 01:47:11,320 --> 01:47:13,390 I never cried so hard. 1048 01:47:16,080 --> 01:47:19,436 The last straw? There were endless last straws. 1049 01:47:19,560 --> 01:47:23,439 You say, "last straw", five seconds later you're saying, "Action". 1050 01:47:23,560 --> 01:47:27,951 I can't explain it. It was like watching a cobra. 1051 01:47:29,760 --> 01:47:31,671 You're mesmerised. 1052 01:47:34,520 --> 01:47:36,670 What did he do after me? 1053 01:47:40,480 --> 01:47:42,914 The only thing he never gave up on. 1054 01:47:46,840 --> 01:47:49,274 They all wanted me to be a clown. 1055 01:47:49,400 --> 01:47:54,110 They'll pay me millions to be a French, mustachioed, karate-chopping twit. 1056 01:47:55,240 --> 01:47:57,834 But this is so much more. 1057 01:47:57,960 --> 01:48:00,315 What do you want to do, Peter? 1058 01:48:04,640 --> 01:48:06,835 Isn't that what I just asked you? 1059 01:49:25,040 --> 01:49:26,917 Oh, shut up. 1060 01:50:57,120 --> 01:50:58,439 Yowser. 1061 01:50:59,680 --> 01:51:02,399 Ain't you the gentleman this mornin'? 1062 01:51:05,560 --> 01:51:07,551 I'm gonna go now. 1063 01:51:08,160 --> 01:51:10,071 Yes. 1064 01:51:11,440 --> 01:51:13,556 You're gonna need somebody. 1065 01:51:15,040 --> 01:51:19,033 You oughta find yourself a lady, Chance. 1066 01:51:20,040 --> 01:51:22,634 Guess it oughta be an old lady, 1067 01:51:22,760 --> 01:51:26,753 cos you ain't gonna do a young one any good. 1068 01:51:26,880 --> 01:51:29,872 Not with that little thing of yours. 1069 01:51:32,720 --> 01:51:35,632 You're always gonna be a little boy, ain't you? 1070 01:51:44,040 --> 01:51:45,951 Bye, Chance. 1071 01:51:57,200 --> 01:51:59,111 Bye, Louise. 1072 01:52:14,560 --> 01:52:18,519 'Scuse me. 'Scuse me. Aren't you Peter Sellers? 1073 01:52:20,440 --> 01:52:23,830 - Yes, I am. - Would you mind? 1074 01:52:31,680 --> 01:52:36,754 Thank you. Thank you very much. I mean, you... you were... the man. That's it. 1075 01:53:27,120 --> 01:53:29,953 You're always gonna be a little boy, ain't you? 1076 01:53:31,920 --> 01:53:33,751 Bye, Chance. 1077 01:53:35,400 --> 01:53:37,311 Bye, Louise. 1078 01:55:17,760 --> 01:55:21,070 Mr Edwards. Pardon me, but have you seen Mr Sellers? 1079 01:55:21,200 --> 01:55:23,395 No, and he's 20 minutes late. Did he call? 1080 01:55:23,520 --> 01:55:25,431 No. He's here. 1081 01:55:25,560 --> 01:55:27,755 I think maybe you should see him. 1082 01:55:57,640 --> 01:55:59,392 Peter? 1083 01:58:02,960 --> 01:58:04,871 You can't come in here.