1 00:00:00,618 --> 00:00:02,848 What's your going rate, Douche? 2 00:00:03,021 --> 00:00:06,115 Well, I was getting $10. 3 00:00:08,226 --> 00:00:12,526 Okay, gigolo. Do you even know when a woman is having an orgasm? 4 00:00:12,697 --> 00:00:14,756 Sure I know. It's when she says: 5 00:00:14,933 --> 00:00:19,029 "Please stop. It's okay. You tried. 6 00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:22,034 Now, get off me. " 7 00:00:26,211 --> 00:00:28,907 I bet he doesn't even know how to give a Sneaky Castro. 8 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:33,312 Well, that depends. If she wants it regular sneaky or extra sneaky. 9 00:00:33,485 --> 00:00:36,283 There is no such thing as an Extra Sneaky Castro. 10 00:00:38,022 --> 00:00:39,649 Is there? 11 00:00:40,558 --> 00:00:42,287 It's when you stick it in their... 12 00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:46,760 It's pretty convenient, your friend killing off all the competition. 13 00:00:47,165 --> 00:00:50,225 I've got my eye on you, Small-Below. 14 00:00:50,402 --> 00:00:52,393 Small-Below. 15 00:00:56,975 --> 00:00:58,943 I'll be right down. 16 00:01:04,749 --> 00:01:05,977 Okay. 17 00:01:07,419 --> 00:01:09,410 This is the woman that went out with Heinz... 18 00:01:09,587 --> 00:01:11,612 ...the night before he was murdered. 19 00:01:14,325 --> 00:01:18,227 Don't worry about it, Sherlock Ho. I ain't gonna let you out of my sight. 20 00:01:21,833 --> 00:01:24,301 Hi, you must be Lily. I'm Deuce. 21 00:01:24,469 --> 00:01:26,699 Nice to meet you. 22 00:01:37,449 --> 00:01:39,280 Would you like some bread? 23 00:01:39,451 --> 00:01:41,476 Oh, I can't have bread. 24 00:01:41,653 --> 00:01:44,349 It's makes my esophageal lining swell up... 25 00:01:44,522 --> 00:01:46,990 ...and could block my throat-hole. 26 00:01:48,026 --> 00:01:49,994 - Excuse me for a second. - Sure. 27 00:01:56,434 --> 00:01:58,868 Pardon me. I had to clear. 28 00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:01,395 Yeah. 29 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:05,074 - So, what do you do? - I just got fired. 30 00:02:05,243 --> 00:02:08,144 - I'm sorry. - I was a phone-sex operator. 31 00:02:09,948 --> 00:02:14,009 I only lasted a week. They were jealous of me. 32 00:02:15,153 --> 00:02:18,054 I heard that Heinz Hummer had a bit of a jealous streak. 33 00:02:18,223 --> 00:02:19,952 I bet you're glad he's dead. 34 00:02:20,124 --> 00:02:24,993 Heinz was the most gentle man I ever knew. 35 00:02:25,163 --> 00:02:29,031 I miss him and his mangina. 36 00:02:30,935 --> 00:02:32,994 I can't take it anymore. 37 00:02:34,839 --> 00:02:37,740 I'm sorry. I can see that you really liked Heinz. 38 00:02:39,244 --> 00:02:42,338 - Here, let me get that for you. - Thanks. 39 00:02:49,020 --> 00:02:51,955 - Let's go. - I think I'm gonna puke. 40 00:02:52,123 --> 00:02:55,286 I started smoking again when I lost my job. 41 00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:59,089 If I don't find another one pretty soon, I'm gonna lose my house. 42 00:02:59,264 --> 00:03:01,892 Well, we'll just have to find you a new one. 43 00:03:02,467 --> 00:03:06,301 - Relax. Have some wine. - Thanks. 44 00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:21,975 I don't normally drink red wine so... 45 00:03:23,421 --> 00:03:24,911 I have hiccups. 46 00:03:27,926 --> 00:03:31,054 - Gone down the wrong hole, I think. - Check, please. 47 00:03:32,664 --> 00:03:36,065 Deuce, I can't thank you enough. 48 00:03:36,234 --> 00:03:39,795 It's good for you, it's good for them. I'm just glad it worked out. 49 00:03:42,006 --> 00:03:45,464 - I better get to work. - I'll be hearing from you. 50 00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:47,133 Okay. 51 00:03:49,414 --> 00:03:53,783 The white zone is for loading and unloading of vehicles only. 52 00:03:53,952 --> 00:03:56,386 There is no parking in the white zone. 53 00:03:56,554 --> 00:03:59,523 Thanks, Deuce. I had fun last night. 54 00:03:59,691 --> 00:04:00,919 The white zone... 55 00:04:02,193 --> 00:04:04,787 I am Rodrigo Bollas de Madera. 56 00:04:05,964 --> 00:04:10,060 I am here for my 12:30 ass-hair bleaching. 57 00:04:10,234 --> 00:04:12,134 Okay. How blond do you wanna go? 58 00:04:13,771 --> 00:04:15,170 Gwyneth. 59 00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:17,168 Good choice. 60 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:30,051 Oh, hey. 61 00:04:30,221 --> 00:04:34,453 I got a real Janeane Garofalo situation back there, so go for it. 62 00:04:40,298 --> 00:04:42,858 So, Enzo... 63 00:04:43,034 --> 00:04:45,468 ...got any she-johns lined up for tonight? 64 00:04:45,637 --> 00:04:48,970 Well, I did a Chili Rainbow last night so I'm exhausted. 65 00:04:49,140 --> 00:04:52,405 What about you, Assapopulus? 66 00:04:52,577 --> 00:04:54,909 I've got the herpes so... 67 00:04:55,079 --> 00:04:56,637 What are you gonna do? 68 00:04:58,516 --> 00:04:59,744 Liar! 69 00:04:59,917 --> 00:05:02,750 - Mahmoud! - What's your excuse? 70 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,048 I just realized I'm gay. 71 00:05:08,026 --> 00:05:10,517 Any of you guys want a blowjob? 72 00:05:12,864 --> 00:05:14,331 I do. 73 00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:17,396 Well... 74 00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:21,937 Okay, then. I better go put that penis in my mouth. 75 00:05:22,106 --> 00:05:24,404 You're all afraid of the Man-whore Killer. 76 00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:26,008 - No. Come on. - No, we're not. 77 00:05:26,177 --> 00:05:29,078 - Get down! - I don't wanna die! 78 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,381 You really should find a better hiding place. 79 00:05:33,518 --> 00:05:35,076 Oh, you haven't heard. 80 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,946 - Rodrigo's been killed. - No. 81 00:05:39,123 --> 00:05:42,388 Oh, my God, why? He was just having his ass hair bleached. 82 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,926 He got much more than that, I can assure you. 83 00:05:48,466 --> 00:05:51,401 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm very happy that Scotland Yard... 84 00:05:51,569 --> 00:05:55,630 ... has now joined the search for the gay killer, Tiberius Jefferson. 85 00:05:55,807 --> 00:05:57,274 Thank you very much. 86 00:05:58,409 --> 00:06:01,708 So how about this next one? Svetlana Revenko. 87 00:06:02,146 --> 00:06:04,614 The Russian women are a little freaky down below. 88 00:06:04,782 --> 00:06:08,218 Hair start in the front, don't end till it get to the back. 89 00:06:08,386 --> 00:06:10,445 So if you gotta give a little mouth-to-south... 90 00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,418 ...put a clothespin on your nose. 91 00:06:13,091 --> 00:06:14,558 I'll keep that in mind. 92 00:06:17,061 --> 00:06:18,926 Wish me luck. 93 00:06:19,097 --> 00:06:22,157 Gasov. You mind changing that to the weather channel? 94 00:06:25,169 --> 00:06:26,898 It's gonna be cold tomorrow. 95 00:06:29,207 --> 00:06:31,675 I have been waiting for you, Mr. Bigalow. 96 00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:39,579 Aren't you afraid to work with the Man-whore Killer on the loose? 97 00:06:39,917 --> 00:06:41,145 What do you know about it? 98 00:06:41,319 --> 00:06:44,652 Apparently there's some maniac who's killing them all. 99 00:06:44,822 --> 00:06:47,222 Some people say they deserve it. What do you think? 100 00:06:47,391 --> 00:06:50,656 I think everything happens for reason. 101 00:06:51,562 --> 00:06:54,156 You're probably wondering why I'm wearing this veil. 102 00:06:54,432 --> 00:06:58,368 I wasn't, but if you wanna talk about it, cool. 103 00:06:58,536 --> 00:06:59,935 I grew up in Chernobyl. 104 00:07:00,104 --> 00:07:01,332 Chernobyl. 105 00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:04,672 - What a pretty name. - My mother... 106 00:07:04,842 --> 00:07:08,676 ...she work in nuclear reactor when she was pregnant with me. 107 00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:13,844 Instead of a nose, I was born with an appendage on my face. 108 00:07:15,153 --> 00:07:17,678 A male appendage. 109 00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:21,456 No shit? 110 00:07:22,493 --> 00:07:26,657 I have always been a little self-conscious about it. 111 00:07:26,831 --> 00:07:29,197 Well, you shouldn't. I mean... 112 00:07:29,367 --> 00:07:34,703 A lot of women would love to have a guy's dick on their face. 113 00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:36,999 Yours is just permanent. 114 00:07:39,177 --> 00:07:40,804 You are sweet. 115 00:07:41,612 --> 00:07:44,308 And very handsome for an American. 116 00:07:47,685 --> 00:07:49,209 I like you. 117 00:07:56,994 --> 00:08:00,157 I would love to hear some Latin music. 118 00:08:00,331 --> 00:08:02,629 Well, I'll see if the penis knows any. 119 00:08:03,835 --> 00:08:06,133 I mean the pianist. 120 00:08:06,804 --> 00:08:08,829 The guy playing the piano. 121 00:08:10,508 --> 00:08:14,171 The band has started. Aren't we lucky? 122 00:08:33,397 --> 00:08:35,262 Damn, no lipstick. 123 00:08:35,433 --> 00:08:38,527 - You smell nice. What is it? - It's Old Nice. 124 00:08:39,604 --> 00:08:41,970 It's a knockoff of Old Spice. 125 00:08:42,139 --> 00:08:46,371 I like it, but I think it makes me sneeze. 126 00:08:46,544 --> 00:08:48,535 What happens when you sneeze? 127 00:08:50,882 --> 00:08:53,043 Oh, Jesus, I'm sorry. 128 00:08:54,018 --> 00:08:57,579 Oh, good Lord. Now is a good time to turn. 129 00:09:08,733 --> 00:09:10,132 Hi. 130 00:09:22,013 --> 00:09:24,243 How long are you going to be staying in Holland? 131 00:09:24,415 --> 00:09:26,610 Only until I can prove my friend T.J.'s innocent. 132 00:09:27,051 --> 00:09:29,144 Is there someone waiting for you back home? 133 00:09:30,488 --> 00:09:31,955 It's kind of hard to explain. 134 00:09:33,324 --> 00:09:35,087 Would you like to meet her? 135 00:09:35,693 --> 00:09:37,456 She's here in Amsterdam? 136 00:09:38,462 --> 00:09:40,327 It's my wife. 137 00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:44,793 I got her right here in my duffle bag. 138 00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:52,938 Kate, this is my new friend, Eva. 139 00:09:54,345 --> 00:09:56,973 She passed away a couple of years ago... 140 00:09:57,148 --> 00:09:59,343 ...and this is all I have left of her and I... 141 00:10:04,722 --> 00:10:06,781 Nice to meet you. 142 00:10:06,958 --> 00:10:12,123 She was very lucky to have someone so devoted to her. 143 00:10:28,479 --> 00:10:30,743 Hey, can I see you when you get off work? 144 00:10:30,915 --> 00:10:34,817 Oh, you know, I'd really love to, but I'm going to be so tired. 145 00:10:34,986 --> 00:10:36,886 - Bye. - Okay. 146 00:10:49,433 --> 00:10:51,424 Eva. Eva. 147 00:10:52,169 --> 00:10:55,434 Did you just kiss me nine times because you're OCD? 148 00:10:55,606 --> 00:10:58,234 No. It's because I like you. 149 00:11:00,144 --> 00:11:01,543 Excuse us, coming through. 150 00:11:05,249 --> 00:11:07,217 What are they doing in there, anyway? 151 00:11:07,852 --> 00:11:09,615 They're making a movie. 152 00:11:09,787 --> 00:11:12,187 Cool. What kind of movie? 153 00:11:17,595 --> 00:11:20,063 - I better get to work. - Okay. 154 00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,856 In there? You work in there? 155 00:11:23,734 --> 00:11:26,862 - Yeah. Well... - Hi, Eva. Great work yesterday. 156 00:11:27,038 --> 00:11:29,199 - Thank you. - Eva. Eva. Listen... 157 00:11:29,373 --> 00:11:32,831 ...we really need you on the set. All the guys are waiting. 158 00:11:33,010 --> 00:11:36,309 - All the guys? - Yeah. I can't keep them waiting. 159 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:37,708 Bye, Deuce. 160 00:11:38,716 --> 00:11:41,276 I'll put your name on the list. 161 00:11:57,301 --> 00:11:58,825 Hey, whoa, whoa. 162 00:11:59,003 --> 00:12:00,800 Back of the line, buddy. 163 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:03,667 Trust me, she's worth the wait. 164 00:12:07,711 --> 00:12:09,338 It's a closed set, you can't come in. 165 00:12:09,513 --> 00:12:10,912 Like hell I can't. 166 00:12:12,349 --> 00:12:14,146 Get off her, you little freak! 167 00:12:22,593 --> 00:12:24,322 Eva, you don't have to do this. 168 00:12:27,131 --> 00:12:30,532 Hey, I agreed to one midget, not two! 169 00:12:33,337 --> 00:12:34,861 Deuce? 170 00:12:35,773 --> 00:12:37,536 Eva, you don't have to do this. 171 00:12:37,975 --> 00:12:39,203 Do what? 172 00:12:40,144 --> 00:12:42,169 - This. - What? 173 00:12:43,881 --> 00:12:45,439 This. 174 00:12:48,252 --> 00:12:49,685 You painted that? 175 00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:52,514 I'm a scenic artist. 176 00:12:52,690 --> 00:12:54,988 So that's what you do here. 177 00:12:58,162 --> 00:13:00,221 Hey, little friend. I guess I owe you a big... 178 00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:06,832 Stoner Steve here! Who wants to get high? Stoner Steve! 179 00:13:07,004 --> 00:13:09,199 - T.J., is that you? - Quiet, you dumb prosti-dude. 180 00:13:09,373 --> 00:13:11,807 I've went out with every girl on that list in Holland. 181 00:13:11,976 --> 00:13:15,173 - Find the rest of those bitches. - Those women live in other countries. 182 00:13:15,346 --> 00:13:19,578 Goddamn, white boy! Pack up that snatch-pole and go find the real killer! 183 00:13:19,750 --> 00:13:22,412 Stoner Steve! Stoner Steve Caf�! 184 00:13:33,564 --> 00:13:34,588 Hi. 185 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,092 Hi. 186 00:14:39,563 --> 00:14:40,996 Hey, look at that. 187 00:14:41,165 --> 00:14:42,792 Look at that, right there. 188 00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:55,509 Are you sure? 189 00:15:26,143 --> 00:15:27,440 T.J., there you are. 190 00:15:27,611 --> 00:15:29,875 The girl with the giant ears heard Heinz talking... 191 00:15:30,047 --> 00:15:33,448 ...about some photo in the man-whore society. We gotta get in there. 192 00:15:33,617 --> 00:15:36,916 - Why aren't you in disguise? - I'm in disguise. 193 00:15:37,521 --> 00:15:39,045 I'm in blackface. 194 00:15:39,923 --> 00:15:41,914 - But you're black. - Yeah, but I'm disguised... 195 00:15:42,092 --> 00:15:43,855 ...as a different black guy. 196 00:15:44,028 --> 00:15:46,019 - You look the same. - What you trying to say? 197 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:48,391 - We all look alike? - No, that's not it. 198 00:15:48,565 --> 00:15:51,830 You're such a racist. I got half a mind to stop helping you save me. 199 00:15:52,002 --> 00:15:53,867 Come on. Jeez, let's go. 200 00:16:00,511 --> 00:16:04,072 Excuse me. This is a private club. Man-whores only. 201 00:16:04,248 --> 00:16:07,183 Hey, I'm a real good man-whore. Just go ask your mama. 202 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,982 Still. I'm going to have to ask you to leave. 203 00:16:12,156 --> 00:16:14,852 That's what your mama said after I bang her. 204 00:16:17,361 --> 00:16:18,760 Okay, that's it. 205 00:16:18,929 --> 00:16:20,362 Go, go, go! 206 00:16:25,736 --> 00:16:28,000 Hey, your mama is in here. 207 00:16:28,172 --> 00:16:29,969 It's okay. I know what I'm talking about. 208 00:16:30,140 --> 00:16:33,701 If you're going to stick two in there, you're gonna need a lot of lubricant. 209 00:16:34,078 --> 00:16:36,046 I know what I'm talking about, huh? 210 00:16:36,213 --> 00:16:37,908 Okay, I gotta go now, Ma. 211 00:17:06,377 --> 00:17:08,038 Hey, this thing is locked. 212 00:17:17,020 --> 00:17:20,251 Man! I only heard about this place. 213 00:17:20,424 --> 00:17:23,222 This is where man-whoring all started. 214 00:17:24,828 --> 00:17:27,160 Check it out. You know who this is? 215 00:17:27,331 --> 00:17:29,731 He was the first guy to keep from shooting his load... 216 00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,128 ...by thinking about sports. 217 00:17:33,604 --> 00:17:36,937 This guy, here? Baron Von Doggy Style. 218 00:17:37,107 --> 00:17:39,632 Led a pimping expedition to the Arctic Circle. 219 00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:42,370 Froze to death sixty-nining a moose. 220 00:17:42,546 --> 00:17:45,606 The only thing left of him is this stick... 221 00:17:45,783 --> 00:17:48,911 ...which he used to bitch-slap Eskimos. 222 00:17:53,857 --> 00:17:57,156 Now, this brother here, Kunta Kuntlicker. 223 00:17:57,761 --> 00:18:00,491 He's the Jackie Robinson of ass-eating. 224 00:18:03,267 --> 00:18:04,825 Vladmir Suckmeov. 225 00:18:05,436 --> 00:18:08,030 The first man-ho in space. They were studying... 226 00:18:08,205 --> 00:18:10,537 ...the effects of zero gravity on the reach-around. 227 00:18:10,707 --> 00:18:14,575 - Will you cut it out? - I'm sorry. This is my Graceland. 228 00:18:17,114 --> 00:18:19,605 Hey. Wait a minute. Hey, check this out. 229 00:18:21,218 --> 00:18:24,984 That's the blond lady with the leopard coat. This must be the killer. 230 00:18:26,790 --> 00:18:29,452 So, what are you going to wear to the Man-whore Awards? 231 00:18:29,626 --> 00:18:33,084 I thought I'd go with a tux and satin chaps with my ass-plug cuff link... 232 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:37,625 - You left the trophy case open again. - Whoa, papa, that wasn't me. 233 00:18:37,801 --> 00:18:39,291 Deucey. 234 00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:42,832 - I gotta fart. - You gotta what? 235 00:18:43,006 --> 00:18:45,531 - I gotta fart. - Well, hold it. 236 00:18:47,811 --> 00:18:49,073 I hear something. 237 00:18:52,616 --> 00:18:55,813 I think the building is squeaking. 238 00:18:56,086 --> 00:18:57,713 Maybe it's a bird. 239 00:19:04,228 --> 00:19:05,820 You idiot! 240 00:19:09,433 --> 00:19:10,957 - Go. - Bigalow! 241 00:19:11,902 --> 00:19:14,336 Security! Stop them! 242 00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:17,932 T.J. 243 00:19:31,021 --> 00:19:32,955 - Move the curtain! - What the hell? 244 00:19:33,123 --> 00:19:34,715 Somebody smoked a he-bitch! 245 00:19:37,227 --> 00:19:39,787 - Enzo? He kill Enzo. - No, no, I didn't do it. 246 00:19:39,963 --> 00:19:41,988 What is that? 247 00:19:43,033 --> 00:19:45,558 That is not a dick in my hand. 248 00:19:45,736 --> 00:19:49,763 Anybody got some antibacterial gel? I got burnt dick on my hand. 249 00:19:57,714 --> 00:19:59,648 Eva. Eva. 250 00:19:59,816 --> 00:20:02,114 - I'm in the shower. - T.J.'s been arrested. 251 00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:04,652 I can't hear you! I'll be out in a minute! 252 00:20:04,821 --> 00:20:08,484 In his gayest murder yet, the homosexual Man-whore Killer... 253 00:20:08,659 --> 00:20:11,321 ... murdered famed gigolo Enzo Giarraputo. 254 00:20:11,828 --> 00:20:16,162 Our meteorologist Truus is sick today. Filling in is Henk van de Berg. 255 00:21:05,382 --> 00:21:08,215 What's the matter? Why are you looking at me like that? 256 00:21:08,385 --> 00:21:09,943 Like what? 257 00:21:20,797 --> 00:21:23,698 I'll get that. I was a Boy Scout for almost a week. 258 00:21:26,003 --> 00:21:27,834 So is your uncle home? 259 00:21:28,405 --> 00:21:31,397 No. We're completely alone. 260 00:21:32,643 --> 00:21:34,304 Would you like some cheese? 261 00:21:34,478 --> 00:21:35,843 I'm lactose intolerant. 262 00:21:36,513 --> 00:21:38,481 Why are you so jumpy? 263 00:21:38,982 --> 00:21:40,779 Maybe I can help you relax. 264 00:21:45,422 --> 00:21:47,185 You're shaking. 265 00:21:48,825 --> 00:21:50,315 Maybe it's because I'm cold. 266 00:21:50,827 --> 00:21:52,454 I can fix that. 267 00:21:52,996 --> 00:21:54,896 Why don't you pour us a drink. 268 00:21:59,970 --> 00:22:03,497 So I guess we're all alone, huh? 269 00:22:05,275 --> 00:22:06,708 Yes. 270 00:22:08,211 --> 00:22:10,509 Deuce. You're scaring me. 271 00:22:11,248 --> 00:22:12,476 Eva. 272 00:22:14,918 --> 00:22:19,855 Listen, everything I'm about to do is because I really care for you. 273 00:22:20,524 --> 00:22:21,855 Oh, Deuce. 274 00:22:22,292 --> 00:22:23,759 Now, I don't know why... 275 00:22:25,529 --> 00:22:29,556 I don't know why you've done this, but I'm gonna give you everything I've got. 276 00:22:57,227 --> 00:22:58,592 Deuce? 277 00:23:08,238 --> 00:23:10,103 - Don't go in there. Stop! - Gaspar. Gaspar. 278 00:23:10,273 --> 00:23:13,640 I know who the killer is. I know who the killer is. 279 00:23:20,383 --> 00:23:21,611 I know who the killer is. 280 00:23:21,785 --> 00:23:24,879 I knew sooner or later someone would figure it out. 281 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,492 I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you. 282 00:23:37,334 --> 00:23:38,892 It's Eva. 283 00:23:40,270 --> 00:23:41,965 It's Eva? 284 00:23:43,807 --> 00:23:45,934 You mean my niece Eva? 285 00:23:46,109 --> 00:23:48,134 I know it sounds crazy... 286 00:23:48,311 --> 00:23:51,280 ...but I found the lipstick. The same lipstick the killer used. 287 00:23:51,448 --> 00:23:55,384 Shimmer Lavender Love number 66, at your house. 288 00:23:55,552 --> 00:23:59,454 And you found it in the pocket of a trench coat hanging in the closet? 289 00:23:59,623 --> 00:24:03,559 Exactly. Plus, I heard her whistling the same song I heard the killer whistle. 290 00:24:03,727 --> 00:24:05,092 Like: 291 00:24:12,235 --> 00:24:14,829 Now, you tell me. Why would anyone but the killer... 292 00:24:15,005 --> 00:24:18,372 ...be whistling that specific song? The odds would be astronomical. 293 00:24:18,542 --> 00:24:20,305 Maybe the song got stuck in her head... 294 00:24:20,477 --> 00:24:22,877 ...because she overheard the real killer whistling it. 295 00:24:23,046 --> 00:24:25,071 And maybe the real killer is someone... 296 00:24:26,116 --> 00:24:29,677 ...very near and dear to her, though she doesn't realize. 297 00:24:31,121 --> 00:24:35,023 Sure. Or maybe the Hamburglar did it and escaped with the Great Pumpkin. 298 00:24:35,625 --> 00:24:38,924 Look, I understand this must be very difficult for you... 299 00:24:39,095 --> 00:24:41,757 ...to be out-thunk by a civilian like myself. 300 00:24:41,932 --> 00:24:43,923 But we have to put our egos aside right now... 301 00:24:44,100 --> 00:24:45,533 ...and do what's best for Eva. 302 00:24:45,702 --> 00:24:47,795 She's clearly ill and she needs our help. 303 00:24:47,971 --> 00:24:49,461 You're absolutely right. 304 00:24:49,639 --> 00:24:52,972 You know, the only thing I can't think of is motive. 305 00:24:53,143 --> 00:24:55,373 I mean, what could she have against man-whores? 306 00:24:55,545 --> 00:25:00,073 Maybe because they represent a decline of this once glorious city... 307 00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:03,344 ...which has become a new Sodom and Gomorrah for rich college kids... 308 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,614 ...to smoke hash, to fornicate with Venezuelan hookers... 309 00:25:06,790 --> 00:25:10,783 ...or to defecate on our historic cobblestone streets. 310 00:25:10,961 --> 00:25:13,521 They don't defecate on the streets. 311 00:25:18,568 --> 00:25:21,969 Well, how do you know he's a tourist? I mean, he could be a local. 312 00:25:27,344 --> 00:25:28,743 Where is Eva now? 313 00:25:29,980 --> 00:25:31,743 She's at your house. 314 00:25:31,915 --> 00:25:33,542 Good. 315 00:25:40,891 --> 00:25:43,052 Do you really think you need all those weapons? 316 00:25:43,226 --> 00:25:45,319 She doesn't seem that dangerous. 317 00:25:45,495 --> 00:25:49,329 - You're not gonna hurt her, are you? - You can never be too careful. 318 00:25:51,201 --> 00:25:55,069 - That poor guy. - What a dipshit. 319 00:25:55,872 --> 00:25:57,604 Tonight, the sexually-inadequate men of Europe can breathe easy... 320 00:25:57,639 --> 00:25:59,337 Tonight, the sexually-inadequate men of Europe can breathe easy... 321 00:25:59,509 --> 00:26:03,445 ... safe in the knowledge that all of the continent's finest gigolos... 322 00:26:03,613 --> 00:26:06,946 ... are right here under one roof, all asking: 323 00:26:07,117 --> 00:26:11,076 "Who is gonna walk away with the Golden Boner?" 324 00:26:11,254 --> 00:26:14,883 In this car, we have Assapopulus and his date for the evening. 325 00:26:15,058 --> 00:26:16,582 - Damn it. - His mother. 326 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:20,662 She's the woman that made me start into prostitution... 327 00:26:20,830 --> 00:26:23,993 ...made me go into prostitution. I wanted to become a doctor, but... 328 00:26:24,167 --> 00:26:26,032 Uncle, you home? 329 00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:30,029 What a beautiful couple, mother and man-whore. 330 00:26:31,408 --> 00:26:33,308 "Man-Whore Awards"? 331 00:26:33,944 --> 00:26:36,777 Please welcome your host for this evening. Johnny Vaughan. 332 00:26:36,947 --> 00:26:41,441 Thank you very much. Can I just say, ladies, gentlemen, man-whores... 333 00:26:41,618 --> 00:26:46,453 ... a night where we celebrate guys who can get wood no matter what. 334 00:26:46,623 --> 00:26:48,488 Do you know, they have gay-pride days. 335 00:26:48,658 --> 00:26:50,956 - Oh, my God. - Yes. 336 00:26:53,663 --> 00:26:57,030 - I'm going to kill them all. - But why? 337 00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,328 Don't you see what's happening to our country? 338 00:27:05,008 --> 00:27:07,340 But it's murder. 339 00:27:09,012 --> 00:27:13,676 During the final number, when these man-whores are gathered on-stage... 340 00:27:13,850 --> 00:27:16,250 ...I push this little button and: 341 00:27:17,487 --> 00:27:19,614 Bye-bye, gigolos. 342 00:27:19,789 --> 00:27:24,419 Shouldn't be that hard to pin the crime on your good friend Deuce Bigalow. 343 00:27:24,594 --> 00:27:25,822 I won't let you! 344 00:27:28,665 --> 00:27:30,724 If you wanna stop me... 345 00:27:33,403 --> 00:27:36,702 ...it's as simple as touching this doorknob. 346 00:27:42,512 --> 00:27:45,504 - Where's Eva? - Eva's gone to the Man-whore Awards. 347 00:27:45,682 --> 00:27:48,173 - I'm going there too. - I'm coming with you. 348 00:27:48,852 --> 00:27:52,219 Yes. Yes, you should be there too. 349 00:28:06,569 --> 00:28:07,853 Now let me give you all the lowdown on T.J. 350 00:28:07,888 --> 00:28:09,137 Now let me give you all the lowdown on T.J. 351 00:28:09,305 --> 00:28:14,504 In Thailand, I got a job in a carnival sideshow, eating broken glass. 352 00:28:14,677 --> 00:28:18,408 We did six shows a day. That's a lot of broken glass. 353 00:28:18,581 --> 00:28:21,914 And it's all collected in the lining of my anus. 354 00:28:22,552 --> 00:28:26,420 My ass is like one big, nasty cheese grater. 355 00:28:28,458 --> 00:28:31,427 Here to perform his signature move, the Chili Rainbow... 356 00:28:31,594 --> 00:28:36,088 ...would you please welcome Assapopulus Borealis. 357 00:28:59,923 --> 00:29:01,356 Deuce! 358 00:29:01,524 --> 00:29:03,185 Deuce! Right here! 359 00:29:03,359 --> 00:29:05,623 - Hey, Eva's right behind us. - Deuce, stop! 360 00:29:08,264 --> 00:29:10,289 What are you doing? She's right back there. 361 00:29:11,501 --> 00:29:13,492 - He's the killer! - What? 362 00:29:13,670 --> 00:29:15,103 You're with the killer! 363 00:29:15,271 --> 00:29:17,762 - I'm with the dealer? - He's the Man-whore Killer! 364 00:29:17,941 --> 00:29:19,772 Eighteen-wheeler? 365 00:29:20,643 --> 00:29:22,008 My uncle is the killer! 366 00:29:22,812 --> 00:29:25,747 Oh! I'm with the... You're the k... 367 00:29:25,915 --> 00:29:29,373 She says that I am the killer, you stupido. 368 00:29:35,058 --> 00:29:37,356 But why? What did man-whores ever do to you? 369 00:29:37,527 --> 00:29:39,222 What did they do to me? 370 00:29:40,630 --> 00:29:44,066 All my life I dreamed of being one thing: A gigolo. 371 00:29:44,234 --> 00:29:46,532 Yes, me. Gaspar Voorsboch. 372 00:29:47,937 --> 00:29:51,338 I'll never forget that day. Never. 373 00:29:51,508 --> 00:29:54,306 It was my first semester at Man-whore University. 374 00:29:54,477 --> 00:29:55,876 Now, today, class... 375 00:29:56,045 --> 00:30:00,675 ...we shall learn how to give a lady a proper Portuguese Breakfast. 376 00:30:00,850 --> 00:30:03,341 You take an egg and you crack it. 377 00:30:03,853 --> 00:30:05,912 You mix them up. 378 00:30:06,089 --> 00:30:09,024 Now, this is a good chance to sweet-talk the client. 379 00:30:09,425 --> 00:30:11,655 - And? - And we pour that in there. 380 00:30:11,828 --> 00:30:15,491 - Beautiful. Very nice, now. And... - And don't forget the Canadian bacon. 381 00:30:15,665 --> 00:30:17,326 Canadian bacon. I was getting to that. 382 00:30:17,500 --> 00:30:19,764 - What are you doing? - It's a penis enlarger. 383 00:30:19,936 --> 00:30:22,063 Just a few pumps and it gets your thing bigger. 384 00:30:22,238 --> 00:30:24,206 You mind if I give myself a few pumps? 385 00:30:24,374 --> 00:30:25,705 Go nuts. 386 00:30:25,875 --> 00:30:28,036 There we go. So there you have it. 387 00:30:28,211 --> 00:30:31,647 Tell me. How was your Portuguese Breakfast? 388 00:30:31,814 --> 00:30:33,304 Delicious. 389 00:30:33,483 --> 00:30:35,747 - Elsa? - Gaspar? 390 00:30:42,859 --> 00:30:44,588 They knew she was my fianc�e. 391 00:30:44,761 --> 00:30:47,252 And tonight I will get my revenge. 392 00:30:54,204 --> 00:30:55,762 Leave it! 393 00:31:07,150 --> 00:31:10,210 I'm from Canada and I'm wasted! 394 00:31:12,488 --> 00:31:13,750 - Are you all right? - Yeah. 395 00:31:13,923 --> 00:31:15,914 - Are you okay? - Stop! Stop! 396 00:31:16,092 --> 00:31:17,719 Police business. 397 00:31:18,328 --> 00:31:19,659 Come on, we gotta stop him. 398 00:31:20,964 --> 00:31:23,432 Stop! Stop! Man-whore business. 399 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:26,262 Before we present the award for Man-whore of the Year... 400 00:31:26,436 --> 00:31:30,497 ...let's take a moment to honor those gigolos who have recently passed. 401 00:31:49,592 --> 00:31:52,493 Hey, Daddy. I was looking in your underwear drawer and I found... 402 00:31:52,662 --> 00:31:54,289 ...this bracelet. 403 00:31:55,298 --> 00:31:58,358 Holy mother of God. That's not a bracelet, boy. 404 00:31:58,534 --> 00:32:02,334 That is a device that your daddy has to wear on his he... 405 00:32:02,639 --> 00:32:03,867 His he... 406 00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,201 His he... 407 00:32:07,577 --> 00:32:09,875 Happy birthday, son, you got a bracelet. 408 00:32:10,046 --> 00:32:11,308 Great. 409 00:32:13,082 --> 00:32:14,310 Let's go. Come on. 410 00:32:14,484 --> 00:32:16,315 Now the award you've all been waiting for: 411 00:32:16,486 --> 00:32:17,976 The Man-whore of the Year. 412 00:32:18,154 --> 00:32:20,952 Listen. Go get help. I'll get all the gigolos off the stage. 413 00:32:21,124 --> 00:32:23,058 Okay. Good luck. 414 00:32:23,693 --> 00:32:24,990 Excuse me. 415 00:32:25,161 --> 00:32:27,721 You have to get off the stage now or you'll all be killed! 416 00:32:27,897 --> 00:32:30,661 Get the hell out of here, Douche, before I have you thrown out. 417 00:32:30,833 --> 00:32:33,461 - There's a bomb on the stage! - You idiot. 418 00:32:33,636 --> 00:32:35,399 You're all gonna die! 419 00:32:36,406 --> 00:32:38,533 I'm the Man-whore Killer. This is a bomb! 420 00:32:38,708 --> 00:32:42,075 Everybody out! Everybody get out! 421 00:32:42,245 --> 00:32:43,974 You gotta get out of here! 422 00:32:49,252 --> 00:32:52,244 You'll die with the rest of them, Bigalow. 423 00:32:54,557 --> 00:32:57,924 Those gigolos robbed me of my manhood. 424 00:32:58,094 --> 00:33:02,326 I was never able to satisfy a woman. I'll see to it that they won't either. 425 00:33:07,437 --> 00:33:11,771 You don't have to kill anyone, Gaspar. Because you can please a woman. 426 00:33:13,109 --> 00:33:15,407 Those gigolos don't know what they're talking about. 427 00:33:15,578 --> 00:33:17,546 Is he talking about us? 428 00:33:21,718 --> 00:33:23,447 Do you really think all a woman wants... 429 00:33:23,619 --> 00:33:25,610 ...is some guy to give her a Mud Pretzel... 430 00:33:25,788 --> 00:33:28,985 ...or Turkish Snow Cone or an Irish Facial? 431 00:33:30,259 --> 00:33:33,057 - Yes, they do, liar. - No, they don't. 432 00:33:33,930 --> 00:33:37,798 A woman wants a guy who'll ask her about her day and really listen to her. 433 00:33:37,967 --> 00:33:39,935 - Or at least pretend to. - Yes. 434 00:33:40,370 --> 00:33:41,837 What? 435 00:33:42,004 --> 00:33:43,733 When she's hurting... 436 00:33:43,906 --> 00:33:45,601 ...ask her how she feels. 437 00:33:46,876 --> 00:33:49,140 - Cry with her. - Yeah! 438 00:33:49,312 --> 00:33:51,212 These gigolos are just ripping women off! 439 00:33:52,815 --> 00:33:56,251 I've never had any complaint from any of those freaks! 440 00:33:58,721 --> 00:34:00,450 I faked it. 441 00:34:02,425 --> 00:34:04,950 A woman doesn't care if you wear a Rolex watch... 442 00:34:05,128 --> 00:34:07,596 ...or have a gigantic schlong like Heinz Hummer. 443 00:34:08,664 --> 00:34:10,427 This guy knows his shit. 444 00:34:13,936 --> 00:34:15,494 What are you doing? 445 00:34:16,939 --> 00:34:18,839 Anyone else? 446 00:34:24,247 --> 00:34:27,739 If you let a woman know you care, maybe she'll give you an Irish Facial. 447 00:34:37,894 --> 00:34:40,829 We will die together, man-whore. 448 00:34:42,532 --> 00:34:45,660 - You don't have to do this. - They ruined my life. 449 00:34:45,835 --> 00:34:49,066 - Give me the detonator. - No. 450 00:34:49,238 --> 00:34:51,001 My penis exploded. 451 00:34:52,475 --> 00:34:54,705 Okay, that's a tough one. I'll give you that. 452 00:34:56,412 --> 00:35:00,542 But having a penis is way overrated. Trust me. 453 00:35:02,318 --> 00:35:04,548 No. No. 454 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:06,187 Gaspar! 455 00:35:15,097 --> 00:35:16,792 Are you okay? 456 00:35:18,968 --> 00:35:20,959 We did it. 457 00:35:26,876 --> 00:35:29,071 That's the grossest thing I've ever seen. 458 00:35:29,245 --> 00:35:31,304 And I've seen some pretty gross things. 459 00:35:31,481 --> 00:35:32,196 - In the car. - Put your head down. 460 00:35:32,231 --> 00:35:32,911 - In the car. - Put your head down. 461 00:35:33,082 --> 00:35:35,016 I'll be seeing you again, man-whore. 462 00:35:36,252 --> 00:35:39,983 Deuce, you saved the Man-whore Society. 463 00:35:40,723 --> 00:35:42,520 The Golden Boner belongs to you. 464 00:35:42,692 --> 00:35:45,024 Thanks. I'm... That's very... 465 00:35:46,395 --> 00:35:48,090 This belongs to you too. 466 00:35:49,699 --> 00:35:51,564 Hang it to the left. 467 00:35:52,101 --> 00:35:53,693 You gonna eat that? 468 00:35:53,870 --> 00:35:56,236 - Knock yourself out. - Thank you. 469 00:35:59,375 --> 00:36:02,776 So I guess this means you're a real gigolo now. 470 00:36:02,945 --> 00:36:04,674 I don't want you to treat me differently. 471 00:36:04,847 --> 00:36:06,872 How much would you charge me for a kiss? 472 00:36:07,283 --> 00:36:09,342 Well, the first one's always free. 473 00:36:13,823 --> 00:36:16,348 - Deuce! - What? 474 00:36:16,926 --> 00:36:18,621 Oh, no. No, it's... 475 00:36:18,794 --> 00:36:20,421 It's just this. 476 00:36:42,685 --> 00:36:44,585 Deucey! 477 00:36:44,754 --> 00:36:46,312 Thank you, Jesus. 478 00:36:47,189 --> 00:36:48,781 Did anybody hurt you in there? 479 00:36:49,926 --> 00:36:53,259 Oh, you asking if I got ass-punked. Is that what's happening right now? 480 00:36:53,429 --> 00:36:58,059 - Not if you don't wanna talk about it. - Well, turns out I'm not that attractive. 481 00:36:58,234 --> 00:36:59,929 Well, you've been cleared of murder... 482 00:37:00,102 --> 00:37:02,536 ...but people still think you're gay. - Hey, hey, hey. 483 00:37:02,705 --> 00:37:04,832 Don't tell nobody I'm not gay. Look at it: 484 00:37:05,007 --> 00:37:07,874 T.J., the gay man's pimp. 485 00:37:08,044 --> 00:37:10,842 I mean, I'm gonna corner the market. Check out my new bitches. 486 00:37:11,013 --> 00:37:13,106 - Hello, darling. - Hi, sweetie. 487 00:37:13,282 --> 00:37:14,806 Love you. 488 00:37:16,619 --> 00:37:18,348 Let's get chicken and waffles. My treat. 489 00:37:18,521 --> 00:37:21,820 So the first thing a brother wants out of prison is chicken and waffles? 490 00:37:21,991 --> 00:37:24,289 - Oh, come on. - Get your she-cocks back to work. 491 00:38:24,290 --> 00:38:27,090 Ripped by: SkyFury