1 00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:58,650 So he wants to cut it off just like that? 2 00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:03,451 He doesn't think you can handle it. 3 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,089 The arrangements have been concluded. 4 00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:11,789 I gave them my word because he gave me his word. 5 00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,593 So you tell me why. 6 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,964 You know why. 7 00:02:18,237 --> 00:02:20,364 You're not strong anymore. 8 00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:23,333 You lost control. 9 00:02:25,611 --> 00:02:29,809 You tell him this. Nothing has changed. 10 00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:33,852 We've had a few setbacks. That's to be expected in any business. 11 00:02:33,953 --> 00:02:38,253 But I am still in charge, and I am still strong! 12 00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:40,258 Make no mistake. 13 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:44,524 You tell him he had better keep his word. 14 00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:47,497 Tell him the 25th as agreed. 15 00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:53,532 I'll send him a sign, a little demonstration... 16 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:56,904 to prove that I'm still strong. 17 00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:40,718 - Good afternoon, Mr. Douvier. - Good afternoon, Simone. 18 00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:49,225 - Any calls? - On your desk. 19 00:03:58,871 --> 00:04:00,771 What's this "Dr. Herb called"? 20 00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:03,637 That's your yearly checkup, Tuesday at 4:30. 21 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:06,507 Okay. Is New York going to call back? 22 00:04:06,612 --> 00:04:08,637 Between 5:00 and 6:00. 23 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:11,342 Good. Everybody else here? 24 00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:13,442 Yes. In the boardroom. 25 00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:27,891 I don't think we should keep them waiting any longer. 26 00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:37,168 - Will I see you tonight? - Of course, Miss Le Gree. 27 00:04:51,023 --> 00:04:52,991 Gentlemen, we have a problem. 28 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,585 The Gannet transaction is in jeopardy 29 00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:59,631 because New York seems to feel I no longer have 30 00:04:59,732 --> 00:05:02,098 the power to control the situation. 31 00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:05,102 So I have sent word 32 00:05:05,204 --> 00:05:10,608 that I will give them a demonstration, a sign, 33 00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:14,305 to show that I am still in control, 34 00:05:14,413 --> 00:05:17,075 that France is still a viable territory. 35 00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:20,785 What I want from you are suggestions. 36 00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:24,614 I have an idea. 37 00:05:25,224 --> 00:05:26,623 All right. 38 00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:29,957 Would you ask your secretary to bring in the morning paper? 39 00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:35,360 - Would you bring in the paper? - Right away, sir. 40 00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:43,802 Who is the most important man in France today? 41 00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:46,174 Present company excluded, of course. 42 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:47,803 Thank you. 43 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:50,974 - The president, I suppose. - For our purpose. 44 00:05:51,083 --> 00:05:54,883 A man New York knows even better than the president of France. 45 00:05:54,987 --> 00:05:59,151 A man with which our entire world organization is familiar, 46 00:05:59,258 --> 00:06:01,954 and would like nothing better than to see him out of the way. 47 00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:03,927 Who? 48 00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:11,528 Who has given us nothing but trouble for the past ten years? 49 00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:15,266 Who has survived 16 assassination attempts... 50 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:18,673 ...including two by his own boss? 51 00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:25,916 Clouseau. 52 00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:28,009 You want to impress New York? 53 00:06:29,121 --> 00:06:30,486 Eliminate Clouseau. 54 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:33,718 We'll have every cop in France down on our necks. 55 00:06:33,826 --> 00:06:36,056 Not if we do it smart. 56 00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:39,825 There is a rumor that he is really a complete imbecile. 57 00:06:39,932 --> 00:06:41,331 I've heard that. 58 00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:43,698 Yet he continues to survive. 59 00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:47,830 I have it on good authority that he is anything but an imbecile, 60 00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:49,737 that he only plays the fool. 61 00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,737 In any case, it is too dangerous. 62 00:06:59,885 --> 00:07:01,819 Can you do it smart? 63 00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:04,489 Yes. 64 00:07:05,224 --> 00:07:06,418 Then do it. 65 00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:24,866 Balls? 66 00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:28,606 Inspector Clouseau! My dear Chief Inspector Clouseau! 67 00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:32,047 How we have missed you! How we have missed you! 68 00:12:32,151 --> 00:12:36,053 Your disguise is ready for the final fitting. You'll be very pleased. 69 00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:39,420 Cunny! Quick! Quick! Inspector Clouseau is here! 70 00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:41,459 I noticed you have some very interesting new noses. 71 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:44,961 I will model them for you. Cunny, get on with it! 72 00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:47,965 I will bring you one right away. 73 00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:50,467 - There were some on the left. - Yes, yes. 74 00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:52,469 The final fitting. 75 00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:56,337 I call this one "Wino and Roses." 76 00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:08,048 Magnificent. Even though I say so myself. 77 00:13:08,153 --> 00:13:10,451 This is no small feat. 78 00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:14,583 Now you can work the Left Bank and Montmartre with anonymity. 79 00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:19,528 Yes. The old anonymity ploy. 80 00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:29,865 That's it! You can do it, Inspector! 81 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,636 Chief Inspector. 82 00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:35,874 You can walk, Chief Inspector. You can walk! 83 00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:38,745 Yes! Yes! 84 00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:41,285 You are a genius, Balls. 85 00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:45,653 I can! I can walk! 86 00:13:49,828 --> 00:13:53,491 Thank heavens 87 00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:58,036 for little girls 88 00:13:58,137 --> 00:14:04,235 They keep on getting smaller every day 89 00:14:17,456 --> 00:14:18,889 Yes? 90 00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:21,323 A special delivery. 91 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:24,427 Thank you. 92 00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:29,794 I'm sorry. I'm a little short. 93 00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:31,301 Forget it. 94 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,607 Special delivery. A bomb. 95 00:14:43,715 --> 00:14:45,740 Were you expecting one? 96 00:14:46,685 --> 00:14:48,414 A bomb? 97 00:15:06,438 --> 00:15:07,564 Yes? 98 00:15:10,175 --> 00:15:11,574 What? 99 00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:18,181 Right. 100 00:15:18,283 --> 00:15:19,750 What's the matter? 101 00:15:21,386 --> 00:15:25,322 The bomb destroyed half the block, and Clouseau survived. 102 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:29,383 I am certain, sir, that the "beumb" was intended for me. 103 00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,463 - "Beumb"? - What? 104 00:15:31,563 --> 00:15:34,327 - You said "beumb." - Yes, yes. 105 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,697 Fortunately, Professor Balls 106 00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:40,636 took refuge behind a new shipment of inflatable goiters, 107 00:15:40,739 --> 00:15:42,832 which cushioned the force of the explosion. 108 00:15:42,941 --> 00:15:44,568 Inflatable goiters? 109 00:15:44,676 --> 00:15:47,611 Yes. His Valentine's Day collection. 110 00:15:49,481 --> 00:15:51,381 It's amazing that you survived. 111 00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:52,916 Yes, yes. 112 00:15:53,018 --> 00:15:55,714 I must apprehend this mad bomber 113 00:15:55,821 --> 00:15:58,585 before he does any more of the damage in here. 114 00:15:58,690 --> 00:16:00,180 Or she. 115 00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:03,090 - "Or she"? - A man dressed as a woman. 116 00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:10,597 "Four armed robberies in three weeks. 117 00:16:10,702 --> 00:16:14,035 "Two of the victims were assaulted and grappled with the robber. 118 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:17,973 "Both victims felt the robber was much too strong to be a woman. 119 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:23,209 "Three years ago, we sent to prison a man named Claude Russo. 120 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:26,614 Russo committed robberies disguised as a woman." 121 00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:34,091 Well, sir, I must be off to apprehend this mad bomber now. 122 00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:37,720 Remember, it just could be Russo. 123 00:16:37,829 --> 00:16:40,491 Yes, it just could be Russo. Yes. 124 00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:43,966 - Yes. I just said that. - Yes, I know that. Yes, sir. 125 00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:48,335 Well, sir, until we meet again and the case is solved. 126 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,273 Au revoir, Hercule. 127 00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:56,141 Fire! 128 00:17:12,931 --> 00:17:15,422 You may not have seen these gentlemen before, 129 00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,059 but they have at one time or another worked for you. 130 00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:20,502 And needless to say, they are specialists, 131 00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,506 the best in France. 132 00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:25,338 And you expect them to take care of Clouseau? 133 00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:29,244 Oh, no. They've been contracted to eliminate Mr. Chong. 134 00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:31,077 Who is Mr. Chong? 135 00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:41,092 Mr. Chong was recommended by Hong Kong. 136 00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:51,661 Gentlemen, fulfill your contracts. 137 00:19:28,066 --> 00:19:31,297 Get out of those wet clothes. You could catch pneumonia. 138 00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:33,303 Yes, I know that. 139 00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:34,997 I will as soon as I get home, 140 00:19:35,107 --> 00:19:38,008 provided that idiot Cato does not attack me first. 141 00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:40,271 Why don't you tell him not to? 142 00:19:40,379 --> 00:19:42,540 Believe me, it's not that easy. 143 00:19:42,647 --> 00:19:46,413 I have given him instructions to attack me whenever possible. 144 00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:48,850 It has now become a matter of pride with him 145 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:50,751 to try to outsmart me. 146 00:19:51,289 --> 00:19:53,382 I guarantee that at this very minute, 147 00:19:53,492 --> 00:19:57,519 his fiendish yellow brain is plotting some new ambush. 148 00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,165 Gesundheit. 149 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:05,134 Yes, I know that. 150 00:21:02,961 --> 00:21:04,087 Cato? 151 00:21:27,819 --> 00:21:30,947 Pay attention! This is your employer speaking. 152 00:21:31,990 --> 00:21:36,518 I am canceling the attack orders for tonight. 153 00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:38,823 Do you understand? 154 00:21:38,930 --> 00:21:43,833 I know that I told you to show no mercy 155 00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:47,928 and to attack and to pay no attention to what I say. 156 00:21:50,509 --> 00:21:51,908 But tonight... 157 00:21:56,381 --> 00:21:57,643 But tonight... 158 00:21:58,683 --> 00:22:02,619 I am ordering you to pay attention! 159 00:22:06,291 --> 00:22:09,260 You will not attack, Cato! 160 00:22:17,869 --> 00:22:19,564 Shut up that row! 161 00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:22,640 I am trying to save my life, madam. 162 00:22:30,582 --> 00:22:34,040 Obviously the little yellow swine is not paying attention. 163 00:24:30,301 --> 00:24:33,759 It's a very substantial building, but we're doing a great deal to it. 164 00:24:33,872 --> 00:24:37,808 I'm sure when it's finished, you'll find it peaceful and delightful. 165 00:25:04,436 --> 00:25:05,926 Swine! 166 00:25:07,939 --> 00:25:09,907 Chief Inspector Clouseau's residence. 167 00:25:10,942 --> 00:25:12,239 One moment, please. 168 00:25:13,344 --> 00:25:14,641 For you. 169 00:25:28,727 --> 00:25:31,161 What on earth is going on? 170 00:25:31,262 --> 00:25:33,992 Excuse me, madame and messieurs. 171 00:25:34,099 --> 00:25:35,999 I beg your pardon. I am so sorry. 172 00:25:36,101 --> 00:25:38,001 It's still for you, Inspector. 173 00:25:38,103 --> 00:25:40,071 Chief Inspector. 174 00:25:40,171 --> 00:25:42,469 Pardon me. I am needed on the phone. 175 00:25:48,580 --> 00:25:50,138 Hello? 176 00:25:50,248 --> 00:25:54,378 This is Chief Inspector Clouseau speaking on the phone. 177 00:25:54,486 --> 00:25:57,284 Listen to me carefully. 178 00:25:57,388 --> 00:25:59,754 If you want to catch the French connection, 179 00:25:59,858 --> 00:26:01,792 meet me tonight at 11:00 180 00:26:01,893 --> 00:26:05,260 in the Bois de Bologne near the Grande Cascade. 181 00:26:05,363 --> 00:26:07,524 And come alone. 182 00:26:16,441 --> 00:26:19,410 That's so obvious, he's bound to think it's a trap. 183 00:26:20,845 --> 00:26:25,680 Yes, or it's so obvious that he's bound to think it can't be a trap. 184 00:26:25,784 --> 00:26:28,548 It's so obvious, it's bound to be a trap. 185 00:26:28,653 --> 00:26:31,679 That is why you will never be a great detective. 186 00:26:31,790 --> 00:26:34,384 It's so obvious, it could not possibly be a trap. 187 00:26:34,492 --> 00:26:38,861 Now, Cato, warm up the Silver Hornet. 188 00:27:05,156 --> 00:27:09,490 I very much suspect that the Hornet is overdue for a service, 189 00:27:09,594 --> 00:27:12,654 so if you don't mind, I'll use your car tonight. 190 00:27:33,251 --> 00:27:36,709 He's driving a white Peugeot. License number is... 191 00:27:57,408 --> 00:28:00,377 By any chance, are you going to Fontainebleau? 192 00:28:00,478 --> 00:28:01,706 Well... 193 00:28:01,813 --> 00:28:03,542 Wonderful! 194 00:28:05,617 --> 00:28:07,312 How lucky can a girl get? 195 00:28:07,418 --> 00:28:09,386 You're an absolute darling. 196 00:28:12,924 --> 00:28:14,221 It's green. 197 00:28:14,759 --> 00:28:16,158 It is? 198 00:28:16,261 --> 00:28:17,558 The traffic light. 199 00:28:27,572 --> 00:28:31,941 Generally speaking, it's dangerous for a beautiful girl like you 200 00:28:32,043 --> 00:28:34,341 to be hitchhiking at night. 201 00:28:34,445 --> 00:28:37,471 I know. That's because, generally speaking, 202 00:28:37,582 --> 00:28:40,415 beautiful girls like me don't carry guns. 203 00:28:40,518 --> 00:28:41,985 Yes, yes. 204 00:28:48,226 --> 00:28:51,992 Are you saying that you carry a gun? 205 00:28:53,298 --> 00:28:56,859 I've got it in here somewhere. It's not very big. 206 00:28:56,968 --> 00:28:58,868 Watch it. It might go off. 207 00:28:58,970 --> 00:29:02,098 Only if you don't do exactly what I say. 208 00:29:03,808 --> 00:29:06,436 - Listen, Miss... - Russo. 209 00:29:07,512 --> 00:29:09,537 But you can call me Claude. 210 00:29:15,019 --> 00:29:16,714 Pull off the road. 211 00:29:16,821 --> 00:29:20,518 The old "pull off the road" ploy, huh? 212 00:29:20,625 --> 00:29:22,456 Yes. Then we will see how you do 213 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:26,155 with the old "take off your clothes" ploy. 214 00:29:55,126 --> 00:29:58,721 And if you don't want to freeze to death, put on the dress. 215 00:29:58,830 --> 00:29:59,854 Never! 216 00:29:59,964 --> 00:30:03,422 Suit yourself. But the dress is an original Dior, 217 00:30:03,534 --> 00:30:05,764 and you've got sensational legs. 218 00:30:46,844 --> 00:30:47,970 Yes? 219 00:30:51,182 --> 00:30:53,150 Good. Thank you. 220 00:30:53,251 --> 00:30:55,742 Why don't you just take that off the hook? 221 00:30:55,853 --> 00:30:57,047 Won't be necessary. 222 00:30:57,155 --> 00:31:00,215 The great Inspector Clouseau will not be bothering us anymore. 223 00:31:08,599 --> 00:31:10,260 Hello, boys! 224 00:31:11,302 --> 00:31:13,497 Am I glad to see you! 225 00:31:13,604 --> 00:31:17,040 And we are certainly glad to see you. 226 00:31:19,243 --> 00:31:21,143 Wait a moment! You know me. 227 00:31:21,245 --> 00:31:23,509 I'm Chief Inspector Clouseau of the S�ret�. 228 00:31:23,614 --> 00:31:25,548 And I am Officer Bardot. 229 00:31:25,650 --> 00:31:27,914 But you can call me Brigitte. 230 00:31:28,019 --> 00:31:31,477 Listen, Brigitte, you are making an understandable mistake! 231 00:31:31,589 --> 00:31:34,888 Don't let my legs fool you. I'm really a man. Listen! 232 00:31:37,962 --> 00:31:41,796 The palace flag is lowered to half-mast. 233 00:31:43,334 --> 00:31:46,826 The president has declared a day of national mourning. 234 00:31:47,939 --> 00:31:50,066 Only a few hours ago, 235 00:31:50,174 --> 00:31:53,701 the great detective stood in this very courtyard 236 00:31:53,811 --> 00:31:55,711 and was decorated by the president 237 00:31:55,813 --> 00:31:57,940 for outstanding service to his country. 238 00:31:59,951 --> 00:32:02,215 According to the coroner's report, 239 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:05,812 Chief Inspector Clouseau was probably dead 240 00:32:05,923 --> 00:32:09,359 before his car hit the telephone pole 241 00:32:09,460 --> 00:32:11,291 and burst into flames. 242 00:32:15,333 --> 00:32:18,166 The president called me at 6:00 this morning. 243 00:32:18,269 --> 00:32:22,433 A dozen countries have offered the services of their finest detectives, 244 00:32:22,540 --> 00:32:24,940 but the president made it painfully clear 245 00:32:25,042 --> 00:32:27,875 that this must be solved by Frenchmen, and quickly... 246 00:32:27,979 --> 00:32:29,947 or we can all hand in our resignations. 247 00:32:30,047 --> 00:32:32,242 I spoke with Dr. Laprone at the hospital, 248 00:32:32,350 --> 00:32:35,251 and he assures me that Dreyfus is completely cured. 249 00:32:36,854 --> 00:32:38,378 It's amazing. 250 00:32:38,489 --> 00:32:40,514 I've seen some lunatics in my time, 251 00:32:40,625 --> 00:32:43,185 but they were all pikers compared with Dreyfus. 252 00:32:43,294 --> 00:32:44,591 He was like a wild animal! 253 00:32:44,695 --> 00:32:46,890 Didn't he actually bite you? 254 00:32:46,998 --> 00:32:50,126 Oh, yes. On the leg. 255 00:32:50,234 --> 00:32:52,725 I had to take rabies shots just in case. 256 00:32:52,837 --> 00:32:55,533 The doctor swears that his recovery is complete. 257 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,540 He said that in the last 12 hours, 258 00:32:57,642 --> 00:33:00,440 Dreyfus has literally become a new man. 259 00:33:00,545 --> 00:33:02,638 Thank God for that because we need him. 260 00:33:02,747 --> 00:33:06,444 If anyone knows about Clouseau and who might have murdered him, 261 00:33:06,551 --> 00:33:09,952 that man is former Chief Inspector Charles Dreyfus. 262 00:33:10,922 --> 00:33:13,152 Isn't it fantastic, Doctor? 263 00:33:13,257 --> 00:33:17,717 Reinstated at my former rank with no loss of pay or social benefits. 264 00:33:17,828 --> 00:33:21,423 Yes. It could actually be called a psychic rebirth. 265 00:33:21,532 --> 00:33:24,501 I am in your debt. I shall be eternally grateful. 266 00:33:24,602 --> 00:33:26,934 I only helped. I led the way. 267 00:33:27,038 --> 00:33:30,667 But in the final analysis, it was your victory, Charles. 268 00:33:30,775 --> 00:33:32,834 Our victory, Paul. 269 00:33:32,944 --> 00:33:35,344 But only at the expense of another. 270 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,243 Clouseau, you mean. 271 00:33:38,349 --> 00:33:42,683 It could be said that he died so that you might live. 272 00:33:42,787 --> 00:33:44,687 I wish I could feel sorry. 273 00:33:44,789 --> 00:33:46,689 You feel no guilt? 274 00:33:46,791 --> 00:33:48,088 None. 275 00:33:48,626 --> 00:33:51,493 To be honest, when I first heard he was dead, 276 00:33:51,596 --> 00:33:53,530 there were a few moments 277 00:33:53,631 --> 00:33:57,590 when I was actually convinced I was in a state of grace. 278 00:33:58,903 --> 00:34:00,530 Is that wrong? 279 00:34:00,638 --> 00:34:03,232 It isn't a matter of right or wrong. 280 00:34:03,341 --> 00:34:05,332 Look, I hated him. 281 00:34:05,443 --> 00:34:08,844 He literally drove me out of my mind, as you know. 282 00:34:08,946 --> 00:34:12,643 Isn't it natural that I should feel happiness, even joy, 283 00:34:12,750 --> 00:34:17,551 at the thought of him being dead, out of the way and gone forever? 284 00:34:17,655 --> 00:34:19,213 Natural, yes. 285 00:34:19,323 --> 00:34:22,486 But there is a danger that such feelings might promote guilt. 286 00:34:22,593 --> 00:34:25,289 Clouseau could come back and haunt you. 287 00:34:25,396 --> 00:34:28,194 - I have no guilt. - Not now. 288 00:34:28,299 --> 00:34:33,100 Not ever. Clouseau is gone, and I am free forever. 289 00:34:33,204 --> 00:34:35,229 Now, have a cigar. 290 00:34:35,339 --> 00:34:36,931 Thank you, Charles. 291 00:34:37,041 --> 00:34:39,407 I've made the necessary arrangements for your release. 292 00:34:39,510 --> 00:34:42,638 The S�ret� is sending a car for you to be picked up at 5:30. 293 00:34:42,747 --> 00:34:45,443 Remember, you're on probation for 12 months. 294 00:34:45,549 --> 00:34:49,110 If you have any problems, call on me immediately. 295 00:34:49,220 --> 00:34:50,619 Thank you, Paul. 296 00:34:57,328 --> 00:35:00,126 Listen to me, Officer. You are making a serious mistake. 297 00:35:00,231 --> 00:35:02,791 Unless you release me immediately, I will personally see to it 298 00:35:02,900 --> 00:35:04,800 you are transferred to Martinique, 299 00:35:04,902 --> 00:35:06,733 where you will spend your career 300 00:35:06,837 --> 00:35:09,806 writing traffic citations and checking parking meters. 301 00:35:09,907 --> 00:35:13,809 The man who was killed in that car, my car... Cato's car... was not me. 302 00:35:13,911 --> 00:35:16,573 He was wearing my clothes, yes. These are his clothes! 303 00:35:16,681 --> 00:35:18,979 I am Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau. 304 00:35:19,083 --> 00:35:20,983 Miss or Missus? 305 00:35:21,085 --> 00:35:24,714 You fool! The president himself when he decorated me said, 306 00:35:24,822 --> 00:35:27,689 "Clouseau, you are a man of courage." 307 00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:30,693 He called me the greatest detective in all of France. 308 00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:33,525 Charlatan! Lmpostor! 309 00:35:33,631 --> 00:35:36,327 All right, calm down, Mr. Poirot. 310 00:35:36,434 --> 00:35:37,867 Poirot? 311 00:35:37,968 --> 00:35:42,701 Yes. Yes. But you can call me Hercule. 312 00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:46,208 And I am the greatest detective in all of France, 313 00:35:46,310 --> 00:35:48,301 the greatest in all the world. 314 00:35:54,652 --> 00:35:57,212 That man is obviously crazy. 315 00:35:57,321 --> 00:35:59,448 We do not use that word around here. 316 00:35:59,557 --> 00:36:01,684 What do you normally use around here? 317 00:36:01,792 --> 00:36:02,986 Now, now. 318 00:36:03,094 --> 00:36:05,324 He is very "now-now," I can tell you that. 319 00:36:05,429 --> 00:36:06,589 Court order. 320 00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:10,361 I shall need your signature on the transfer document. 321 00:36:15,706 --> 00:36:20,302 Ninety days comprehensive. Thank you. 322 00:36:20,411 --> 00:36:22,242 Psychiatric examination. 323 00:37:01,552 --> 00:37:03,213 Peek-a-boo. 324 00:37:05,389 --> 00:37:07,482 Your car's at the entrance, Inspector. 325 00:37:16,467 --> 00:37:18,697 Good-bye, Chief Inspector Dreyfus. 326 00:37:29,847 --> 00:37:32,008 Good evening, Chief Inspector Dreyfus. 327 00:37:32,116 --> 00:37:34,084 Good evening, Francois. 328 00:37:38,756 --> 00:37:42,351 It's good to have you back on the job, Chief Inspector. 329 00:37:42,460 --> 00:37:46,260 Is it true you will personally take charge of the investigation? 330 00:37:46,363 --> 00:37:47,591 Yes. 331 00:37:47,698 --> 00:37:50,826 You must feel torn. On the one hand, it is your duty 332 00:37:50,935 --> 00:37:54,371 to send the guilty parties to the guillotine for killing Clouseau. 333 00:37:54,472 --> 00:37:55,939 On the other hand... 334 00:37:57,541 --> 00:38:00,567 I'm sure you'd rather congratulate them, eh? 335 00:38:01,745 --> 00:38:04,407 Can you imagine, a state funeral for that idiot? 336 00:38:04,515 --> 00:38:07,848 The president, dignitaries from all over the world will be coming. 337 00:38:07,952 --> 00:38:11,388 Why, there's a rumor the pope might even show up. 338 00:38:11,489 --> 00:38:12,979 Peup? 339 00:38:14,792 --> 00:38:16,282 "Peup"? 340 00:38:16,393 --> 00:38:17,621 What? 341 00:38:17,728 --> 00:38:20,959 You said "peup." Do you have a cold? 342 00:38:21,065 --> 00:38:25,502 Yes, yes. I have the cold in the chest, you know. 343 00:38:26,370 --> 00:38:29,601 You sound terrible. Do you want me to send you a doctor? 344 00:38:29,707 --> 00:38:33,006 No, no. It's much better than it sounds. 345 00:38:33,110 --> 00:38:36,637 Anyway, I want to go directly to the Clouseau apartments 346 00:38:36,747 --> 00:38:39,238 to commence the search for the clues. 347 00:38:39,350 --> 00:38:40,783 Yes, sir. 348 00:39:07,978 --> 00:39:10,139 This is the Clouseau residence? 349 00:39:10,247 --> 00:39:11,509 Yes. 350 00:39:18,188 --> 00:39:19,780 This is also the residence 351 00:39:19,890 --> 00:39:23,690 of the Clouseau manservant Cato Fong? 352 00:39:23,794 --> 00:39:25,455 Yes. 353 00:39:25,563 --> 00:39:28,555 Then be so good as to tell him 354 00:39:28,666 --> 00:39:32,466 that I wish to have speaks with him. 355 00:39:32,570 --> 00:39:37,439 Who should I say "wish to have speaks" with Mr. Fong? 356 00:39:38,943 --> 00:39:41,138 Tell him it is an old friend. 357 00:39:41,245 --> 00:39:43,907 Mr. Fong has many old friends. 358 00:39:44,014 --> 00:39:48,678 Listen, you, tell him it is Chief Inspector... 359 00:39:50,621 --> 00:39:52,088 Clouseau. 360 00:39:52,189 --> 00:39:54,521 Why didn't you say so in the first place? 361 00:39:54,625 --> 00:39:56,593 Please come in. 362 00:40:07,171 --> 00:40:08,604 Good evening, 363 00:40:08,706 --> 00:40:11,607 and congratulations! 364 00:40:11,709 --> 00:40:13,643 You are our first Caucasian, 365 00:40:13,744 --> 00:40:17,544 and that entitles you to a 10% discount until midnight. 366 00:40:17,648 --> 00:40:21,277 - Who are you? - Mrs. Wu. But call me Madam. 367 00:40:24,121 --> 00:40:26,919 - Yes? - Inspector Clouseau. 368 00:40:27,024 --> 00:40:29,083 Please come in. 369 00:40:30,194 --> 00:40:32,594 - Welcome. - Good evening. 370 00:40:32,696 --> 00:40:35,460 Please make yourself at home. 371 00:40:36,900 --> 00:40:39,528 That man just called himself Inspector Clouseau. 372 00:40:39,637 --> 00:40:41,537 It was Mr. Fong's idea, 373 00:40:41,639 --> 00:40:44,608 but personally I think we should have a better password. 374 00:40:44,708 --> 00:40:46,107 Password? 375 00:40:53,450 --> 00:40:57,284 I demand to know exactly what is going on in here. 376 00:40:57,388 --> 00:41:00,687 Just about anything your little heart desires. 377 00:41:00,791 --> 00:41:03,487 But first, why don't you relax? 378 00:41:03,594 --> 00:41:05,562 Give Benson your hat and coat, 379 00:41:05,663 --> 00:41:08,962 have a drink, get to know the girls, 380 00:41:09,066 --> 00:41:11,193 and then when you are up to it, 381 00:41:11,301 --> 00:41:16,432 you can choose from a wide variety of exciting little diversions. 382 00:41:19,376 --> 00:41:22,402 But I see that you already have a preference. 383 00:41:32,890 --> 00:41:37,020 Allow me to introduce Tanya, the lotus eater. 384 00:41:38,328 --> 00:41:40,228 What else does she do? 385 00:41:46,737 --> 00:41:49,934 I warn you, Tanya the Easter Lotus, 386 00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:53,305 I am opposed to the women's libs. 387 00:41:54,411 --> 00:41:58,848 Man is the master, and women's place is in the home. 388 00:42:00,250 --> 00:42:04,016 And another round-eye bites the dust. 389 00:42:16,233 --> 00:42:17,632 Cato! 390 00:42:26,376 --> 00:42:28,674 Take your hands off me, you Oriental fool! 391 00:42:28,779 --> 00:42:30,007 You are under arrest. 392 00:42:30,114 --> 00:42:31,979 Anything you say will be taken down... 393 00:42:32,082 --> 00:42:34,277 Arrest? Arrest? 394 00:42:34,384 --> 00:42:37,512 You have the right to remain silent, but let me tell you this. 395 00:42:37,621 --> 00:42:40,613 I am not your ordinary run-of-the-mill transvestite. 396 00:42:40,724 --> 00:42:42,123 Say no more! 397 00:42:42,226 --> 00:42:43,955 What was that about arresting us? 398 00:42:44,061 --> 00:42:45,892 He was kidding, weren't you, boss? 399 00:42:45,996 --> 00:42:46,963 Boss?! 400 00:42:47,064 --> 00:42:49,225 I used to work for him. He used to be a cop. 401 00:42:49,333 --> 00:42:50,561 A cop? 402 00:42:50,667 --> 00:42:52,897 Tell them you were kidding, boss. 403 00:42:54,638 --> 00:42:59,200 Yes, he is right. I was just kidding. 404 00:43:00,344 --> 00:43:01,811 Cross my heart and... 405 00:43:02,613 --> 00:43:05,309 ...hope to meet you again sometime. 406 00:43:05,415 --> 00:43:07,906 And you, madame. 407 00:43:08,018 --> 00:43:09,747 And you, too. 408 00:43:09,853 --> 00:43:12,413 You two should be ashamed of yourselves. 409 00:43:12,523 --> 00:43:14,991 And you! I want to talk to you! 410 00:43:15,092 --> 00:43:18,027 You come in here! Listen, now. 411 00:43:18,128 --> 00:43:19,561 Please, boss! 412 00:43:19,663 --> 00:43:21,460 I thought you were dead. 413 00:43:21,565 --> 00:43:24,261 So, as a tribute to my memory, you open up this... 414 00:43:25,302 --> 00:43:27,634 ...this Chinese nooky factory! 415 00:43:27,738 --> 00:43:30,206 I had to do something to keep busy. 416 00:43:30,307 --> 00:43:32,366 Besides, a first-rate joint like this 417 00:43:32,476 --> 00:43:35,206 can make as much as 400,000 a year! 418 00:43:38,448 --> 00:43:40,678 - Is that net? - No, gross. 419 00:43:40,784 --> 00:43:42,547 Even so, a smart operator 420 00:43:42,653 --> 00:43:44,553 can clear himself a couple hundred grand. 421 00:43:44,655 --> 00:43:46,919 That ain't exactly chicken feed. 422 00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,728 And ten years on Devil's Island 423 00:43:51,829 --> 00:43:54,320 ain't exactly the chicken's feet either, 424 00:43:54,431 --> 00:43:56,331 my greedy little yellow pimp. 425 00:43:57,434 --> 00:44:00,699 I'll have to close up anyway now that you're alive. 426 00:44:01,305 --> 00:44:02,829 Yes, yes. 427 00:44:02,940 --> 00:44:07,377 Normally, that is precisely what you would have to do. 428 00:44:07,477 --> 00:44:09,570 But these are not normal times. 429 00:44:11,281 --> 00:44:13,306 Someone has just tried to kill me. 430 00:44:13,417 --> 00:44:14,816 That's normal. 431 00:44:14,918 --> 00:44:17,409 But this time, that someone thinks he has succeeded. 432 00:44:18,455 --> 00:44:22,824 Except for you and me, the whole world believes I am dead. 433 00:44:22,926 --> 00:44:26,919 And in this case, death has its advantages. 434 00:44:29,533 --> 00:44:31,865 No one will know it is me 435 00:44:31,969 --> 00:44:37,202 as I glide through the underworld like a shadow. 436 00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:42,779 - Good evening, Commissioner. - Charles! 437 00:44:46,783 --> 00:44:48,182 Thank you. 438 00:44:48,285 --> 00:44:51,846 I'm sorry to be late, but as you must have heard, 439 00:44:51,955 --> 00:44:54,219 some lunatic was hiding in my closet. 440 00:44:54,324 --> 00:44:56,451 Yes. Russo. 441 00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:57,959 Russo? 442 00:45:01,265 --> 00:45:02,926 You remember. 443 00:45:03,033 --> 00:45:05,968 Why wouldn't I remember? It was only three years ago. 444 00:45:06,069 --> 00:45:10,233 Of course. Claude Russo, alias Claudine Russo. 445 00:45:10,340 --> 00:45:12,740 Armed robbery dressed as a woman. 446 00:45:12,843 --> 00:45:14,743 But he got five years. 447 00:45:14,845 --> 00:45:18,110 He was released on parole three months ago. 448 00:45:18,215 --> 00:45:20,342 So it could have been Russo. 449 00:45:20,450 --> 00:45:21,747 He is clever. 450 00:45:22,786 --> 00:45:25,346 Clever enough to fool Francois? 451 00:45:26,390 --> 00:45:27,687 I like Francois, 452 00:45:27,791 --> 00:45:30,521 but fooling him no longer constitutes 453 00:45:30,627 --> 00:45:34,791 an act of more than average cleverness, shall we say? 454 00:45:38,669 --> 00:45:41,832 I always thought he was rather a good policeman. 455 00:45:41,939 --> 00:45:44,635 When he was my assistant, he was a very good policeman 456 00:45:44,741 --> 00:45:46,800 with a bright future. 457 00:45:46,910 --> 00:45:48,775 But then he was assigned to Clouseau. 458 00:45:48,879 --> 00:45:50,278 Now, Charles. 459 00:45:50,380 --> 00:45:53,349 - All that's in the past. - Yes, of course. 460 00:45:53,450 --> 00:45:54,883 Tomorrow morning 461 00:45:54,985 --> 00:45:59,752 when they plant him six feet deep and shovel in the dirt... 462 00:46:00,657 --> 00:46:02,454 ...I shall be truly free. 463 00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:07,326 Unless he's figured out a way to come back from the dead, 464 00:46:07,431 --> 00:46:09,831 nothing that anyone does or says about him 465 00:46:09,933 --> 00:46:12,424 will ever make any difference again. 466 00:46:12,536 --> 00:46:15,699 - Shall we do some work? - That reminds me. 467 00:46:17,874 --> 00:46:19,273 What is it? 468 00:46:19,376 --> 00:46:22,834 The chief thinks that you should give the eulogy. 469 00:46:22,946 --> 00:46:25,176 - The what? - The tribute. 470 00:46:25,282 --> 00:46:26,249 Me? 471 00:46:26,350 --> 00:46:29,842 - You knew him intimately. - I hated him intimately. 472 00:46:29,953 --> 00:46:33,946 But you're the expert who's going to track down his murderers. 473 00:46:34,057 --> 00:46:36,525 I'm the expert who would love to kiss his murderers! 474 00:46:36,626 --> 00:46:37,991 Don't you understand? 475 00:46:38,095 --> 00:46:41,223 The P.R. People loved the angle. 476 00:46:42,366 --> 00:46:44,630 Sacrilege! I won't do it. 477 00:46:44,735 --> 00:46:46,134 Politics. 478 00:46:46,236 --> 00:46:48,466 No. I'm a good Catholic. 479 00:46:48,572 --> 00:46:51,268 - So is the chief's wife. - I don't care. 480 00:46:51,375 --> 00:46:56,039 - What's she got to do with it? - She wrote the speech. 481 00:46:57,180 --> 00:46:59,114 Ladies and gentlemen... 482 00:46:59,216 --> 00:47:01,878 honored guests... 483 00:47:02,953 --> 00:47:04,545 ...dear friends... 484 00:47:06,089 --> 00:47:07,989 ...we are gathered here 485 00:47:08,091 --> 00:47:11,891 to say good-bye to a, uh... 486 00:47:15,232 --> 00:47:16,893 ...a great man. 487 00:47:22,606 --> 00:47:25,905 Not only was he a model police officer... 488 00:47:26,777 --> 00:47:29,337 ...a brilliant detective... 489 00:47:31,515 --> 00:47:35,474 ...admired and respected by his fellow officers 490 00:47:35,585 --> 00:47:39,919 and all those who were fortunate enough... 491 00:47:41,458 --> 00:47:42,425 ...enough... 492 00:47:43,627 --> 00:47:45,595 ...enough to know him... 493 00:47:46,763 --> 00:47:48,663 ...he was above all else... 494 00:47:51,368 --> 00:47:53,268 ...a modest man. 495 00:48:10,387 --> 00:48:14,414 His kind will not pass this way again, 496 00:48:14,524 --> 00:48:17,186 and our loss is surely... 497 00:48:19,229 --> 00:48:20,628 ...heaven's gain. 498 00:48:32,476 --> 00:48:34,501 Present arms! 499 00:48:35,479 --> 00:48:36,878 Fire! 500 00:48:52,796 --> 00:48:55,560 - Get rid of that woman. - We'll talk about it later. 501 00:48:55,665 --> 00:48:58,532 I want your answer now or I sue for divorce. 502 00:48:58,635 --> 00:49:02,196 - I'm warning you. - Are you going to have me killed? 503 00:49:33,203 --> 00:49:34,329 Gentlemen. 504 00:49:36,106 --> 00:49:38,836 You will be relieved to know that our friend in New York 505 00:49:38,942 --> 00:49:42,173 was very impressed by our little demonstration. 506 00:49:42,279 --> 00:49:44,338 It was a good idea, Guy. 507 00:49:44,447 --> 00:49:46,506 The Gannet transaction is on again. 508 00:49:46,616 --> 00:49:48,345 The same delivery date? 509 00:49:48,451 --> 00:49:50,578 Unless something is happening I don't know about. 510 00:49:50,687 --> 00:49:53,656 I spoke to Hong Kong. They say the Gannet's on schedule. 511 00:49:55,292 --> 00:49:58,022 Good. That means that this time next week 512 00:49:58,128 --> 00:50:01,529 we can declare ourselves a very healthy dividend, 513 00:50:01,631 --> 00:50:04,828 letting our international colleagues know that the French connection 514 00:50:04,935 --> 00:50:06,835 is back in business. 515 00:50:07,804 --> 00:50:09,032 I'll be at the farm. 516 00:50:09,139 --> 00:50:12,438 I do not want to be contacted except in extreme emergency. 517 00:50:13,643 --> 00:50:15,110 Meeting adjourned. 518 00:50:24,154 --> 00:50:26,054 Stick around. I might need you. 519 00:50:26,156 --> 00:50:27,282 Right. 520 00:50:30,327 --> 00:50:33,319 Miss Le Gree, would you come in for a moment, please? 521 00:50:46,176 --> 00:50:47,837 What's wrong with you? 522 00:50:49,412 --> 00:50:53,007 - We have to stop seeing each other. - Your wife? 523 00:50:54,050 --> 00:50:57,508 That witch! How long this time? 524 00:50:57,621 --> 00:50:59,680 I'm afraid permanently. 525 00:50:59,789 --> 00:51:00,949 Permanently? 526 00:51:03,627 --> 00:51:05,652 - Permanently? - Yes. 527 00:51:05,762 --> 00:51:07,195 She gave me an ultimatum. 528 00:51:07,297 --> 00:51:09,697 Like you don't have any choice in this matter! 529 00:51:09,799 --> 00:51:12,199 - I haven't. - You have too! Get rid of her! 530 00:51:12,302 --> 00:51:14,293 - My own wife? - Why can't you do that? 531 00:51:14,404 --> 00:51:17,032 She's got enough evidence in her safety deposit box to ruin me. 532 00:51:17,140 --> 00:51:19,700 Her attorney has been told that if anything happens to her 533 00:51:19,809 --> 00:51:21,709 to take the contents of the box to the authorities. 534 00:51:21,811 --> 00:51:24,541 - Then get rid of the authorities! - What do you think I am? 535 00:51:24,648 --> 00:51:26,707 Then get rid of her attorney! 536 00:51:26,816 --> 00:51:28,716 I couldn't afford the scandal! 537 00:51:28,818 --> 00:51:30,718 I'll show you a scandal! 538 00:51:30,820 --> 00:51:35,120 You know I don't love her. I need her respectability. 539 00:51:36,159 --> 00:51:38,389 - Permanently? - Yes! 540 00:51:38,495 --> 00:51:42,625 Six years together, just washed up? Just over with? 541 00:51:42,740 --> 00:51:46,335 - I'm afraid so. I'm sorry. - That's just wonderful, isn't it? 542 00:51:46,444 --> 00:51:49,072 You obviously can't go on being my secretary. 543 00:51:49,180 --> 00:51:53,014 I have deposited a substantial amount of money in your bank account... 544 00:51:53,117 --> 00:51:55,017 - I don't want your money. - What do you want? 545 00:51:55,119 --> 00:51:57,110 I don't know what I want. 546 00:51:59,357 --> 00:52:01,257 But I'll think of something! 547 00:52:15,807 --> 00:52:17,206 Leaving early? 548 00:52:17,308 --> 00:52:19,503 Later than you think, Mr. Algo. 549 00:52:28,319 --> 00:52:30,412 Something you want me to do? 550 00:52:32,690 --> 00:52:35,056 Not unless she decides to be indiscreet. 551 00:52:35,159 --> 00:52:38,128 If you have to, be sure you make it look like an accident. 552 00:52:47,672 --> 00:52:49,799 Ahoy, the skipper! 553 00:52:51,175 --> 00:52:54,144 Hello, out there in the fog. 554 00:53:06,090 --> 00:53:07,785 Don't worry. 555 00:53:07,892 --> 00:53:10,952 It's only an old salty Swedish sea dog 556 00:53:11,062 --> 00:53:14,054 out there from the salty seas, you know. 557 00:53:17,368 --> 00:53:19,529 Pumpin' the air in the parrot. 558 00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:25,204 Naughty bird afraid of the fog. 559 00:53:35,453 --> 00:53:36,886 Swine leg. 560 00:53:44,028 --> 00:53:45,996 Hello, Inspector. 561 00:53:47,165 --> 00:53:49,395 Chief Inspector. 562 00:53:51,469 --> 00:53:55,269 I'm working under the covers. No one must suspect a thing. 563 00:54:04,015 --> 00:54:06,745 What do you have of special interest 564 00:54:06,851 --> 00:54:09,445 to my secret investigations? 565 00:54:10,421 --> 00:54:13,254 There's something big going down at Le Club Foot. 566 00:54:14,125 --> 00:54:16,821 Le Club Foot? Remarkable. 567 00:54:16,928 --> 00:54:18,327 Keep your... 568 00:54:21,833 --> 00:54:23,892 Keep your eyes and ears peeled. 569 00:54:24,001 --> 00:54:26,094 Keep in constant contact. 570 00:54:26,204 --> 00:54:30,698 I am extremely grateful for this excellent piece of information. 571 00:54:32,143 --> 00:54:34,509 Thar she blows! 572 00:54:36,447 --> 00:54:40,315 Once again, I thank you for this most useful tip. 573 00:54:40,418 --> 00:54:44,514 And if there is anything I can ever do to repay you... 574 00:54:44,622 --> 00:54:47,523 Now that you mention it, Chief Inspector. 575 00:55:11,482 --> 00:55:14,883 Sixteen chests on a dead man's rum. 576 00:55:14,986 --> 00:55:18,217 Yo ho ho in the bottle of the chest. 577 00:55:18,322 --> 00:55:21,621 Drink to the devils and some for the rum. 578 00:55:27,265 --> 00:55:28,994 Do it some more. 579 00:55:29,100 --> 00:55:31,193 Yeah, give me some more. 580 00:55:31,302 --> 00:55:34,237 All right. 581 00:55:36,007 --> 00:55:38,532 Come on, yeah. Slide it. 582 00:55:41,379 --> 00:55:43,006 Move 'em out 583 00:55:43,214 --> 00:55:45,148 Move 'em out 584 00:55:45,249 --> 00:55:47,342 If you mess around with women, boy 585 00:55:47,451 --> 00:55:48,816 You wanna fix the trimmin' 586 00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:50,478 Move 'em out 587 00:55:50,688 --> 00:55:52,656 Move 'em out 588 00:55:52,757 --> 00:55:54,782 Better listen to me, cousin... 589 00:55:54,892 --> 00:55:57,019 She's coming in now. 590 00:56:01,399 --> 00:56:03,765 - Bonsoir, Vic. - How you doing, Simone? 591 00:56:03,868 --> 00:56:06,029 Mr. Toledo, Mr. Vancouver. 592 00:56:06,137 --> 00:56:07,536 What's happening? 593 00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:11,504 You can show us to my usual table. 594 00:56:11,609 --> 00:56:13,907 How about something near the floor? Easier for dancing. 595 00:56:14,011 --> 00:56:16,571 No, thank you. I want my usual table. 596 00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:24,615 Is something wrong? 597 00:56:24,722 --> 00:56:27,316 It is Mr. Douvier's table, ain't it, love? 598 00:56:27,425 --> 00:56:30,622 No, it really ain't, love, but if you're worried about Mr. Douvier, 599 00:56:30,728 --> 00:56:32,628 why don't you give him a call? 600 00:56:32,730 --> 00:56:34,630 I wouldn't want you to get in trouble with your boss. 601 00:56:34,732 --> 00:56:36,632 - He ain't my boss. - He ain't? 602 00:56:36,734 --> 00:56:38,929 Then why you paying him all that money every month? 603 00:56:39,036 --> 00:56:40,333 That ain't cool, baby. 604 00:56:40,438 --> 00:56:42,906 You ain't seen nothin' yet. Come on, love. 605 00:56:51,549 --> 00:56:53,210 Where are we going? 606 00:56:53,317 --> 00:56:54,716 We don't want to be obvious. 607 00:56:54,819 --> 00:56:57,049 We're going to make our entry through the back way 608 00:56:57,154 --> 00:56:59,952 in disguise, as I told you, you fool. 609 00:57:22,913 --> 00:57:24,380 Hey, chief. 610 00:58:03,287 --> 00:58:05,812 Get up here. 611 00:58:07,391 --> 00:58:10,451 - It's a bakery. - I know that. 612 00:58:10,561 --> 00:58:14,520 Come on. At least you're not yellow anymore. 613 00:58:14,632 --> 00:58:17,032 This time I'm going to stand on your shoulders. 614 00:58:17,134 --> 00:58:19,329 What good would that do? 615 00:58:19,437 --> 00:58:22,964 Because I'm taller than you are, you fool. 616 00:58:23,074 --> 00:58:24,541 Make a cradle. 617 00:58:28,512 --> 00:58:30,446 Get rid of that. 618 00:59:13,824 --> 00:59:15,792 I can't reach it. 619 00:59:15,893 --> 00:59:18,862 You'll have to find something to stand on. 620 00:59:36,914 --> 00:59:40,111 All right! Let me see some, baby. Come on. 621 00:59:40,217 --> 00:59:42,742 Do it, baby. 622 00:59:49,727 --> 00:59:51,354 Let me go! 623 00:59:53,664 --> 00:59:56,224 - Can you reach it? - Yes. 624 00:59:58,669 --> 01:00:00,432 Merde! 625 01:00:13,384 --> 01:00:16,080 - Hey, are you okay? - No. 626 01:00:16,187 --> 01:00:18,951 You know something? You're terrific! 627 01:00:19,056 --> 01:00:22,025 You saved my life. Come with me. 628 01:00:22,126 --> 01:00:24,219 - Where? - Over here. I want to save your life. 629 01:00:24,328 --> 01:00:26,626 - Let's go. Come on. - Oh, God. 630 01:00:41,111 --> 01:00:42,806 Come with me before the killers see us. 631 01:00:42,913 --> 01:00:43,971 What killers? 632 01:00:44,081 --> 01:00:45,946 I'll tell you when we get to my apartment. 633 01:00:46,116 --> 01:00:48,084 - What apartment? - My apartment. 634 01:01:07,104 --> 01:01:09,470 Oh, my God! 635 01:01:09,573 --> 01:01:11,473 Mine, too. 636 01:01:11,575 --> 01:01:13,566 I'm soaked to the skin. 637 01:01:13,677 --> 01:01:17,943 Yes, I have received considerable soak also. 638 01:01:23,420 --> 01:01:26,548 Get out of those wet clothes before you catch your death of pneumonia. 639 01:01:26,657 --> 01:01:30,559 Yes. What shall I do with my coat? I don't want to spoil your beautiful... 640 01:01:30,661 --> 01:01:34,028 Just put it down anywhere. Put it on the floor. That's fine. 641 01:01:40,204 --> 01:01:41,603 Help yourself. 642 01:01:41,705 --> 01:01:44,606 I'm going to change. I'll bring you a robe. 643 01:01:53,584 --> 01:01:56,109 I'm gonna put on some music. 644 01:02:05,930 --> 01:02:08,228 - You know, it's strange. - What? 645 01:02:09,333 --> 01:02:12,325 I say, it's strange. 646 01:02:12,436 --> 01:02:14,563 Yes, I know. And I said, "What?" 647 01:02:14,672 --> 01:02:17,368 - You mean, what is strange? - Yes. 648 01:02:19,243 --> 01:02:25,876 It's strange that I have never yet set foot in this building, 649 01:02:25,983 --> 01:02:30,579 but I have the distinct impression that I have been here before. 650 01:02:31,922 --> 01:02:34,390 It's d�j� vu. I have it all the time. 651 01:02:34,491 --> 01:02:36,482 Yeah, d�j� vu. Thank you. 652 01:02:36,593 --> 01:02:37,582 You're welcome. 653 01:02:38,696 --> 01:02:40,493 - You okay? - Yes. 654 01:02:42,533 --> 01:02:44,501 That feels good. 655 01:02:46,103 --> 01:02:49,231 It's not going to do you much good if you don't take your pants off. 656 01:02:49,340 --> 01:02:51,331 - What? - Take your pants off. 657 01:02:51,442 --> 01:02:52,875 Forgot about those. 658 01:02:52,977 --> 01:02:54,945 Look at me. 659 01:02:55,045 --> 01:02:57,605 Look. I'm shaking like a leaf. 660 01:02:57,715 --> 01:03:00,275 I can't stop shaking. I know what it is. 661 01:03:00,384 --> 01:03:04,844 You know what it is? I'm just not used to being killed. 662 01:03:04,955 --> 01:03:09,392 - That's my first time, you know? - I know, but listen. 663 01:03:09,493 --> 01:03:13,190 When you have been killed as many times as I have, 664 01:03:13,297 --> 01:03:14,594 you get used to it. 665 01:03:14,698 --> 01:03:17,599 - Really? - Yes, oh, yes. 666 01:03:17,701 --> 01:03:20,499 Yes, indeed. I'll put this here. 667 01:03:20,604 --> 01:03:24,062 - Cheers. - Cheers. 668 01:03:24,174 --> 01:03:28,008 - This is for you. - Yes, of course. 669 01:03:28,112 --> 01:03:31,013 - Then this must be yours. - Thank you. Cheers. 670 01:03:33,217 --> 01:03:34,616 Yes. Anyway... 671 01:03:37,254 --> 01:03:39,779 - You have nothing to fear. - Yes, I have. 672 01:03:39,890 --> 01:03:41,824 - No, you don't. - Yes, I have. 673 01:03:43,527 --> 01:03:48,726 No. You see, I am an officer of the "lauw." 674 01:03:48,832 --> 01:03:52,029 - The "lauw"? - What? 675 01:03:52,136 --> 01:03:56,129 You said you are an officer of the "lauw"? 676 01:03:56,240 --> 01:04:00,506 That is correct. Yes, yes. I am Chief Inspector of the S�ret�. 677 01:04:02,146 --> 01:04:03,443 What? 678 01:04:04,048 --> 01:04:05,345 You doubt me. 679 01:04:06,450 --> 01:04:10,614 No, I don't doubt you. Why should I doubt you? 680 01:04:10,721 --> 01:04:13,815 - That's right. Why should you? - If you say so, I don't. 681 01:04:13,924 --> 01:04:16,449 Who were those two men who tried to kill you? 682 01:04:16,560 --> 01:04:18,960 - Killers. - How do you know? 683 01:04:19,063 --> 01:04:22,658 - Because they work for Douvier. - Douvier? I know that name. 684 01:04:22,766 --> 01:04:26,099 Everyone in France knows that name. He's a millionaire businessman. 685 01:04:26,203 --> 01:04:28,899 Yes, of course. Douvier the millionaire businessman. 686 01:04:29,006 --> 01:04:30,098 I knew I knew. 687 01:04:30,207 --> 01:04:33,267 But how many people do you think know 688 01:04:33,377 --> 01:04:35,777 that Douvier the millionaire businessman 689 01:04:35,879 --> 01:04:38,245 is also Douvier the French connection? 690 01:04:38,348 --> 01:04:39,781 How many? 691 01:04:43,787 --> 01:04:46,381 I suppose his mother, for one. 692 01:04:46,490 --> 01:04:48,651 Why do you suppose he wanted to have me killed? 693 01:04:48,759 --> 01:04:51,193 Elementary. He wanted you dead. 694 01:04:56,700 --> 01:04:59,168 - You all right? - I got singed. 695 01:04:59,269 --> 01:05:01,897 - I'm sorry about your robe. - That's all right. 696 01:05:02,005 --> 01:05:04,337 Tell me about this Douvier. 697 01:05:06,243 --> 01:05:09,508 I was his mistress and private secretary for two years. 698 01:05:09,613 --> 01:05:14,448 I know enough about Philippe to send him to prison for his whole life. 699 01:05:17,488 --> 01:05:20,321 You keep talking about this Douvier. 700 01:05:21,492 --> 01:05:24,552 But who is Philippe? 701 01:05:24,661 --> 01:05:27,391 - Philippe Douvier. - His son? 702 01:05:27,498 --> 01:05:29,363 Whose son? He has no son. 703 01:05:29,466 --> 01:05:31,696 - His brother, then? - His brother's name is Fred. 704 01:05:31,802 --> 01:05:34,134 - Then it has to be his father. - His father's dead. 705 01:05:34,238 --> 01:05:36,172 Now we're getting somewhere. Who killed him? 706 01:05:36,273 --> 01:05:40,539 - No one. He died of natural causes. - Then who is this Philippe? 707 01:05:40,644 --> 01:05:44,205 I want to see some identification. Right now. 708 01:05:44,314 --> 01:05:47,943 Right now. I want to see some identification. 709 01:05:48,051 --> 01:05:51,452 If you're not a policeman, then I shouldn't be telling you these things. 710 01:05:55,993 --> 01:05:59,520 - Can you keep a secret? - I don't know. That depends. 711 01:06:01,398 --> 01:06:04,299 Brace yourself for what I am about to tell you. 712 01:06:05,202 --> 01:06:07,136 I am none other... 713 01:06:08,972 --> 01:06:12,772 ...than Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau. 714 01:06:12,876 --> 01:06:14,673 No, you're not. 715 01:06:14,778 --> 01:06:16,712 - Yes, I am. - No, you're not. 716 01:06:18,482 --> 01:06:20,211 I am. 717 01:06:20,317 --> 01:06:21,716 You're not. 718 01:06:26,490 --> 01:06:28,321 Yes, you are. 719 01:06:29,326 --> 01:06:30,793 Oh, my God! 720 01:06:30,894 --> 01:06:33,226 I admit it's not a good photograph, but... 721 01:06:33,330 --> 01:06:36,356 But I saw your funeral on television. 722 01:06:36,466 --> 01:06:37,990 Yes. Yes. 723 01:06:38,101 --> 01:06:40,592 - Even the pope was there. - Cheers. 724 01:06:41,905 --> 01:06:44,465 But if you're not dead, who's dead? 725 01:06:46,843 --> 01:06:49,744 A wandering transvestite took my car 726 01:06:49,846 --> 01:06:52,542 and stole my clothes at gunpoint. 727 01:06:52,649 --> 01:06:56,312 I have been working under the covers tracking the killer. 728 01:06:56,420 --> 01:06:58,980 - The killer's Douvier! - What? 729 01:06:59,089 --> 01:07:01,284 He wanted to impress the godfather. 730 01:07:02,826 --> 01:07:07,160 What? You mean Douvier killed a wandering transvestite 731 01:07:07,264 --> 01:07:09,960 just to impress his godfather? 732 01:07:11,068 --> 01:07:12,626 The man's unthinkable. 733 01:07:12,736 --> 01:07:14,533 The door. 734 01:07:14,638 --> 01:07:18,039 - What's wrong with it? - I saw the knob turn. 735 01:07:44,701 --> 01:07:46,100 Hurry. 736 01:07:47,037 --> 01:07:49,369 - I wonder whose apartment this is. - I don't know. 737 01:07:53,076 --> 01:07:55,476 The other one's probably upstairs waiting in my room. 738 01:07:55,579 --> 01:07:57,877 How do you know there's another one? 739 01:07:57,981 --> 01:08:01,007 Because assassins always travel in pairs. It's a company rule. 740 01:08:01,118 --> 01:08:03,313 Do you know what the Gannet transaction is? 741 01:08:03,420 --> 01:08:05,615 The Gannet transaction? What is that? 742 01:08:05,722 --> 01:08:10,056 It's a code name for a 50-million-franc heroin sale. 743 01:08:10,160 --> 01:08:12,128 50 million francs? 744 01:08:12,229 --> 01:08:15,357 Philippe's going to Hong Kong Tuesday to meet with the American buyer. 745 01:08:15,465 --> 01:08:16,932 Hong Kong. 746 01:08:17,034 --> 01:08:20,435 I don't know how it fits in, but the Gannet is a boat. 747 01:08:28,145 --> 01:08:30,340 What are you doing? 748 01:08:33,150 --> 01:08:35,380 Now I know why this place looks so familiar. 749 01:08:35,485 --> 01:08:37,544 Chief Inspector Dreyfus lives here. 750 01:08:42,225 --> 01:08:44,557 I think he has received a faint. 751 01:08:46,396 --> 01:08:49,388 Wake up, Chief Inspector. Wake up. 752 01:08:49,499 --> 01:08:50,898 Chief Inspector? 753 01:08:51,835 --> 01:08:54,929 Hello? Are you in there, Chief Inspector? 754 01:08:55,806 --> 01:08:57,205 Hello? 755 01:08:58,508 --> 01:09:00,738 There's no reply. It's no use. 756 01:09:01,778 --> 01:09:03,871 We will have to go to Hong Kong without him. 757 01:09:03,980 --> 01:09:05,743 - We? - Yes. 758 01:09:05,849 --> 01:09:08,545 You, I, and Cato, who will translate for us. 759 01:09:08,652 --> 01:09:11,450 Not me. I am not going to Hong Kong. 760 01:09:11,555 --> 01:09:13,853 Are you kidding? Douvier would shoot me on sight. 761 01:09:13,957 --> 01:09:16,551 Not if he doesn't recognize you. And he won't. 762 01:09:16,660 --> 01:09:18,287 Why not? 763 01:09:19,196 --> 01:09:24,634 We will leave that up to the great Balls. 764 01:09:24,735 --> 01:09:27,329 The great Balls? 765 01:09:28,472 --> 01:09:30,099 At your service! 766 01:09:30,907 --> 01:09:34,070 Please forgive the condition of my establishment, 767 01:09:34,177 --> 01:09:37,010 - but as the Inspector knows... - Chief. 768 01:09:37,114 --> 01:09:39,981 - Chief Inspector knows... - Auguste. 769 01:09:41,318 --> 01:09:43,218 So sorry. I beg your pardon. 770 01:09:43,320 --> 01:09:46,756 But as the Chief Inspector knows, we were bombed. 771 01:09:46,857 --> 01:09:48,586 Sounds like you still are. 772 01:09:48,692 --> 01:09:52,287 Almost all my collection was either destroyed or damaged. 773 01:09:52,396 --> 01:09:55,627 Starting Monday, I have to have a fire sale. 774 01:09:56,566 --> 01:09:58,830 You could call it "The Great Balls of Fire" sale. 775 01:09:58,935 --> 01:10:00,903 A catchy suggestion. 776 01:10:01,004 --> 01:10:02,403 Very good. 777 01:10:03,707 --> 01:10:05,106 Cunny! 778 01:10:11,548 --> 01:10:15,609 I can't tell you how good it is to see that you are still alive. 779 01:10:15,719 --> 01:10:18,882 It has been my privilege to serve the good Inspector... 780 01:10:18,989 --> 01:10:22,152 the Chief Inspector... for these many years. 781 01:10:22,259 --> 01:10:24,557 Thirteen, to be precise. 782 01:10:24,661 --> 01:10:28,995 And his reported demise was a real blow to me. 783 01:10:29,099 --> 01:10:31,124 Something's coming. 784 01:10:31,234 --> 01:10:34,101 Yes, Cunny, you are not dreaming. 785 01:10:34,204 --> 01:10:38,163 Our friend, our customer, is alive! 786 01:10:38,275 --> 01:10:39,799 Hello, Cunny. 787 01:10:41,311 --> 01:10:44,747 Now, how can I serve you? 788 01:10:44,848 --> 01:10:48,215 Through wind and mud, snow and hail, 789 01:10:48,318 --> 01:10:51,116 whether long or short, dark or pale, 790 01:10:51,221 --> 01:10:54,816 remember that when duty calls, 791 01:10:54,925 --> 01:10:56,688 you've got Balls. 792 01:11:00,630 --> 01:11:02,029 I gotta sit down. 793 01:11:02,132 --> 01:11:04,362 Yes, of course. Cunny! Quick. 794 01:11:04,468 --> 01:11:06,060 Please, please, please. 795 01:11:06,169 --> 01:11:08,569 Come along. That's right. There you are. 796 01:11:08,672 --> 01:11:11,402 Sit. Come, come, come. Sit, sit. 797 01:11:11,508 --> 01:11:13,237 You're not serious. 798 01:11:13,343 --> 01:11:15,937 There has been no time to get new furniture. 799 01:11:16,046 --> 01:11:19,277 Believe me, since the blast, he's much more comfortable. 800 01:11:19,382 --> 01:11:20,906 Please sit. 801 01:11:21,017 --> 01:11:23,451 Matter of fact, I've been sleeping on him. 802 01:11:26,690 --> 01:11:28,089 Chief Inspector? 803 01:11:28,191 --> 01:11:31,024 I'm leaving for Hong Kong first thing in the morning. 804 01:11:31,127 --> 01:11:32,685 Hong Kong? 805 01:11:32,796 --> 01:11:36,755 Do you think you could pick me up some cheap coolie hats? 806 01:11:36,867 --> 01:11:40,633 My dear Auguste, I need your best Hong Kong disguise. 807 01:11:40,737 --> 01:11:44,764 Also, I will need something extra special in the godfather line. 808 01:11:45,709 --> 01:11:48,075 Doctor, please, you must help me. 809 01:11:48,178 --> 01:11:50,373 Is Clouseau real, 810 01:11:50,480 --> 01:11:52,380 or am I going mad again? 811 01:11:52,482 --> 01:11:55,974 - What do you think? - What do I think? What can I think? 812 01:11:56,086 --> 01:12:00,318 If that nincompoop is really alive and the things I heard are true, 813 01:12:00,423 --> 01:12:03,256 he'll probably be decorated again 814 01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:06,158 for rounding up the biggest drug ring in France, 815 01:12:06,263 --> 01:12:08,754 and I'll be a laughingstock. 816 01:12:08,865 --> 01:12:12,528 That sounds reasonable. What are you going to do? 817 01:12:13,537 --> 01:12:15,630 What choice do I have? 818 01:12:15,739 --> 01:12:17,104 I either commit myself 819 01:12:17,207 --> 01:12:19,368 and come back to be locked up in here... 820 01:12:20,744 --> 01:12:22,575 ...or... 821 01:12:23,613 --> 01:12:25,808 ...I go to Hong Kong. 822 01:12:57,180 --> 01:13:00,775 - I don't think I can do this. - Of course you can. 823 01:13:00,884 --> 01:13:03,182 Just think yellow and follow me. 824 01:13:35,218 --> 01:13:40,246 "Mr. And Mrs. Low Key." 825 01:13:41,791 --> 01:13:45,192 You stupid lunk! What the hell do you think you're doing? 826 01:13:45,295 --> 01:13:47,195 Absolutely ruined my suit! 827 01:13:47,297 --> 01:13:49,288 Why the hell don't you look where you're going? 828 01:13:51,067 --> 01:13:52,295 I'm Mr. Algo. 829 01:13:52,402 --> 01:13:55,030 When Mr. Scallini arrives, have me paged in the bar. 830 01:13:55,138 --> 01:13:56,605 Certainly, Mr. Algo. 831 01:13:58,408 --> 01:14:01,138 Who is gonna pay for my suit? 832 01:14:02,979 --> 01:14:04,879 See that man there? 833 01:14:04,981 --> 01:14:07,643 That's Guy Algo, Philippe's right-hand man. 834 01:14:07,751 --> 01:14:10,151 This Scallini must be Mr. Big from New York. 835 01:14:12,088 --> 01:14:14,613 Listen, we'll go up to the room. 836 01:14:14,724 --> 01:14:17,625 You stay here ten minutes, then tell Mister... 837 01:14:17,727 --> 01:14:20,252 - Algo. - Right, yes. Algo. 838 01:14:20,363 --> 01:14:23,992 That Mr. You-Know-Who has arrived, and bring him to the room. 839 01:14:24,100 --> 01:14:28,196 - Mr. You-Know-Who? - Right. I will be Mr. You-Know-Who. 840 01:14:28,304 --> 01:14:30,238 Come, Ming Loy. 841 01:15:13,049 --> 01:15:15,347 You got a reservation for Scallini? 842 01:15:21,758 --> 01:15:24,522 Page Mr. Algo in the bar. Tell him Mr. Scallini is here. 843 01:15:48,752 --> 01:15:52,188 - What do you think you're doing? - Mr. Scallini in lobby. 844 01:17:11,234 --> 01:17:12,292 Cochon. 845 01:17:12,402 --> 01:17:14,370 No, no. Fongu. 846 01:17:27,317 --> 01:17:30,753 You heard what I said to him? Dumb Frenchman. 847 01:17:30,854 --> 01:17:32,287 "Cochon." 848 01:17:32,388 --> 01:17:34,379 That means "pig." 849 01:17:34,490 --> 01:17:37,618 I tell Mr. Scallini you're here. 850 01:17:46,536 --> 01:17:48,436 - Listen, boss... - It's not boss. It's me! 851 01:17:48,538 --> 01:17:49,937 Where is he? 852 01:17:50,039 --> 01:17:52,030 In the bathroom getting into his godfather disguise. 853 01:17:52,141 --> 01:17:55,542 Algo's in the next room. Scallini's down the hall in the Tang suite. 854 01:17:55,645 --> 01:17:57,943 - Marvelous. - We rode up in the same elevator. 855 01:17:58,047 --> 01:17:59,947 Maybe I can reach him before he contacts Philippe. 856 01:18:00,049 --> 01:18:01,607 What are you going to do? 857 01:18:01,718 --> 01:18:04,016 I'm not sure, but keep your eye on Algo. 858 01:18:29,779 --> 01:18:31,747 - Ice? - Please. 859 01:18:36,252 --> 01:18:38,482 - Soda? - Yes. 860 01:18:43,693 --> 01:18:45,820 I hope it's not too strong. 861 01:18:45,929 --> 01:18:48,124 I'm sure it will be fine. 862 01:18:53,236 --> 01:18:55,534 Hey! Mamma mia. 863 01:18:56,539 --> 01:18:58,598 Spaghettini du Al Pacino! 864 01:19:00,410 --> 01:19:05,040 Carlo Cato and me got a little business to talk over. 865 01:19:05,148 --> 01:19:07,810 We won't be long. Have another drink. 866 01:19:09,886 --> 01:19:11,319 Viva Zapata! 867 01:19:15,758 --> 01:19:18,249 - Where is she? - I don't know. 868 01:19:23,766 --> 01:19:25,165 Get out... 869 01:19:26,769 --> 01:19:28,293 Hello, Mr. Marchione. 870 01:19:28,404 --> 01:19:31,737 - Hey. Come on in. - Thank you. 871 01:19:31,841 --> 01:19:34,036 - Thank you very much. - Can I get you a drink? 872 01:19:34,143 --> 01:19:36,111 No, nothing, thank you. 873 01:19:36,846 --> 01:19:38,609 It's Simone. 874 01:19:38,715 --> 01:19:40,706 You have a good memory. 875 01:19:40,817 --> 01:19:43,786 I never forget a pretty face. 876 01:19:43,886 --> 01:19:48,016 Boss, this is Simone. That's Douvier's personal... 877 01:19:48,124 --> 01:19:50,524 Secretary. How do you do, Mr. Scallini? 878 01:19:50,626 --> 01:19:54,187 We never met before. If we meet before, you call me Julio. 879 01:19:55,398 --> 01:19:56,558 That's a nice hand. 880 01:19:56,666 --> 01:19:58,964 Thank you. That's only the right one. 881 01:19:59,068 --> 01:20:01,332 - You type, too. - 100 words a minute. 882 01:20:01,437 --> 01:20:03,337 I may faint. 883 01:20:03,439 --> 01:20:07,102 Mr. Douvier asked me to apologize. He's going to be a little late. 884 01:20:07,210 --> 01:20:09,644 If you like, I'd be happy to keep you company until he arrives. 885 01:20:09,746 --> 01:20:12,408 If I like? Does my mother cook spaghetti? 886 01:20:12,515 --> 01:20:14,779 To the Gannet transaction. 887 01:20:22,258 --> 01:20:24,783 Shall I tell Douvier we're on our way? 888 01:20:27,063 --> 01:20:28,997 Don't forget the money. 889 01:20:39,609 --> 01:20:41,133 What? 890 01:20:41,244 --> 01:20:43,804 Throat! Back! 891 01:20:45,148 --> 01:20:46,945 Choking! 892 01:20:47,050 --> 01:20:50,019 You want me to hit you on the back. 893 01:21:12,308 --> 01:21:14,208 We're on our way. 894 01:21:14,677 --> 01:21:16,611 Mr. Douvier will meet us in the lobby. 895 01:21:16,712 --> 01:21:18,270 Yeah. Great. 896 01:21:18,381 --> 01:21:21,009 - Is that it? - Yeah. 897 01:21:21,117 --> 01:21:23,108 50 million francs and no bodyguard? 898 01:21:23,219 --> 01:21:24,277 Listen, buddy, 899 01:21:24,387 --> 01:21:26,753 I take care of my body, my body takes care of me. 900 01:21:26,856 --> 01:21:28,756 You know what I'm driving at? 901 01:21:37,733 --> 01:21:39,633 I'll buy you some cigarettes, huh? 902 01:21:39,735 --> 01:21:40,793 Yeah, smoke a few. 903 01:21:40,903 --> 01:21:43,030 When Douvier shows, I'll meet you in the lobby. 904 01:21:43,139 --> 01:21:44,538 Right. 905 01:22:40,496 --> 01:22:42,623 Be right with you. 906 01:23:15,498 --> 01:23:17,796 What the hell is going on here? 907 01:23:35,985 --> 01:23:37,885 Lee Kee shipyards. 908 01:23:44,760 --> 01:23:48,491 - Where'd he go? - I think to Lee Kee shipyards. 909 01:24:11,754 --> 01:24:12,721 You see this? 910 01:24:12,822 --> 01:24:14,813 I can tell by your heart line you're a passionate man. 911 01:24:14,924 --> 01:24:16,824 See how long this is? 912 01:24:16,926 --> 01:24:20,191 Keep watching. It's going to get longer. 913 01:24:23,432 --> 01:24:26,128 - Hello. - Lee Kee shipyards. Douvier. 914 01:24:26,235 --> 01:24:28,669 It was Douvier! 915 01:24:28,771 --> 01:24:30,932 The doorman heard him tell the driver 916 01:24:31,040 --> 01:24:33,270 to go to the Lee Kee shipyard. 917 01:24:33,376 --> 01:24:36,345 Something is cucuzza around here. 918 01:24:38,381 --> 01:24:41,578 Your boss and a couple boys just left the hotel. 919 01:24:41,684 --> 01:24:43,948 Really? I wonder why they did that. 920 01:24:44,053 --> 01:24:46,783 You got me. Why don't we go ask him? 921 01:24:46,889 --> 01:24:50,791 Yes. Okay, I understand. 922 01:24:53,362 --> 01:24:55,853 Douvier left the hotel about five minutes ago. 923 01:24:55,965 --> 01:24:57,193 He was with two men. 924 01:24:57,300 --> 01:25:00,292 He told the driver to go to the Lee Kee shipyard. 925 01:25:00,403 --> 01:25:02,337 I'm sure it was that nincompoop. 926 01:25:07,743 --> 01:25:10,143 I'm sure Mr. Douvier didn't intend to be gone very long. 927 01:25:10,246 --> 01:25:12,908 - We'll see. - It doesn't make much sense. 928 01:25:13,015 --> 01:25:15,040 If you leave, and then he comes back... 929 01:25:15,151 --> 01:25:18,018 Stop worrying. You'll give yourself wrinkles. 930 01:25:24,860 --> 01:25:27,761 What about this Lee Kee shipyard? 931 01:25:27,863 --> 01:25:29,956 Perfectly legitimate, as far as I know. 932 01:25:30,066 --> 01:25:33,035 They build a line of expensive power cruisers and sailboats. 933 01:25:33,135 --> 01:25:35,763 Maybe Mr. Douvier is just buying himself a yacht. 934 01:25:43,846 --> 01:25:45,438 Lee Kee shipyards? 935 01:25:45,548 --> 01:25:47,448 Yeah, that's what the come si chiame said. 936 01:25:47,550 --> 01:25:49,677 Come si chiame! Lee Kee! 937 01:26:06,168 --> 01:26:07,897 Move it! 938 01:26:13,109 --> 01:26:14,872 Come along! 939 01:28:02,585 --> 01:28:04,917 This is Mr. Chow, our Far Eastern representative. 940 01:28:05,020 --> 01:28:07,818 - Mr. Scallini. - It's an honor to meet you. 941 01:28:07,923 --> 01:28:10,153 You remember Mr. Algo. Shall we go? 942 01:28:10,259 --> 01:28:11,351 This way, please. 943 01:28:11,460 --> 01:28:13,894 After you launch the boat, we'll go to Mr. Chow's office. 944 01:28:13,996 --> 01:28:16,328 You can sign the ownership papers. Everything legal and aboveboard. 945 01:28:16,432 --> 01:28:18,593 Above the board. Good, good. 946 01:28:19,969 --> 01:28:23,769 - Where is it? You know... - I understood you were told. 947 01:28:23,873 --> 01:28:27,707 No, I was told, but I'm checking, you know. 948 01:28:29,378 --> 01:28:34,077 - In the keel. - The old keel ploy. Yes. 949 01:28:34,183 --> 01:28:37,050 All you have to do is sail her around the Caribbean for a while, 950 01:28:37,152 --> 01:28:40,610 haul her out of the water, take the midsection out of the keel, 951 01:28:40,723 --> 01:28:43,851 and voil�... 40 kilos of the finest merchandise 952 01:28:43,959 --> 01:28:46,359 your experts have ever tested. 953 01:28:46,462 --> 01:28:49,954 I'll tell you, it better had be the best merchandise, 954 01:28:50,065 --> 01:28:53,501 'cause my experts certainly have tested some. 955 01:28:53,602 --> 01:28:56,332 - We have faith in our merchandise. - That's good. 956 01:28:56,438 --> 01:28:59,134 All right. Now, would you like to launch her? 957 01:28:59,241 --> 01:29:01,368 I would be delighted. 958 01:29:19,562 --> 01:29:23,293 September. A good month for the vintage. 959 01:29:27,269 --> 01:29:28,668 Congratulations! 960 01:29:44,353 --> 01:29:46,844 He must be a cop! Get him! Get him! 961 01:29:47,957 --> 01:29:49,356 Hey, boss! 962 01:29:59,168 --> 01:30:01,136 Look out, you Oriental idiot! 963 01:30:05,174 --> 01:30:06,971 What do you think you're doing? 964 01:31:10,606 --> 01:31:12,301 Jesus Christ! 965 01:31:16,178 --> 01:31:17,975 You crumb! 966 01:31:25,454 --> 01:31:28,446 Get back here, you slob! 967 01:31:31,794 --> 01:31:33,193 It's me! 968 01:31:33,295 --> 01:31:34,694 I know! 969 01:31:48,210 --> 01:31:49,177 Wait! 970 01:32:13,001 --> 01:32:15,367 Hey, cancel the artillery! 971 01:32:22,544 --> 01:32:25,945 I don't care! Get out of my way! 972 01:32:26,048 --> 01:32:29,609 - Al, where are you? - How do I know? 973 01:32:30,819 --> 01:32:34,619 Wherever you are, this is Chief Inspector Clouseau. 974 01:32:34,723 --> 01:32:37,419 I am warning you that if you are not careful, 975 01:32:37,526 --> 01:32:39,756 I will arrest you all in the name of the law. 976 01:32:46,335 --> 01:32:50,271 You and your bright ideas. Let me get my hands on you. 977 01:32:50,372 --> 01:32:51,771 Clouseau? 978 01:32:52,708 --> 01:32:53,800 Yes? 979 01:32:54,910 --> 01:32:57,743 - Are you wounded? - No. 980 01:32:57,846 --> 01:33:01,145 Fortunately I was saved by the darkness. 981 01:33:01,250 --> 01:33:03,650 So what we need is more light. 982 01:33:09,958 --> 01:33:13,689 Look what you did to my shoes! I'll kill you! 983 01:33:32,114 --> 01:33:35,106 ...all the time! I won't cut it out! 984 01:33:45,994 --> 01:33:47,393 Hello, Philippe. 985 01:33:48,564 --> 01:33:50,964 Simone, what the hell are you doing here? 986 01:33:51,066 --> 01:33:53,091 I'm waiting for the firecrackers to go off. 987 01:33:53,202 --> 01:33:56,603 - What firecrackers? - The ones I stuck in your pants. 988 01:36:26,955 --> 01:36:30,413 Hello. I'm sorry I'm late. 989 01:36:30,525 --> 01:36:35,258 I had important police business to attend to, you know. 990 01:36:35,364 --> 01:36:37,992 - Everything's all right? - Yes, absolutely fine. 991 01:36:38,100 --> 01:36:40,330 Allow me to let you in the car. 992 01:36:40,435 --> 01:36:41,834 Please. 993 01:36:42,437 --> 01:36:45,133 - It's beautiful. - It's rather neat, isn't it? 994 01:36:45,240 --> 01:36:47,140 I call it the Silver Hornet. 995 01:36:56,651 --> 01:36:58,050 Yes. Service. 996 01:37:00,122 --> 01:37:03,387 It's a little overdue for a service, unfortunately. 997 01:37:07,796 --> 01:37:10,594 Perhaps it's better to leave that there. 998 01:37:11,767 --> 01:37:13,792 It's a beautiful night. Why don't we walk? 999 01:37:13,902 --> 01:37:15,870 What an excellent idea. 1000 01:37:16,738 --> 01:37:19,707 - I'm sorry about that. - It's quite all right. 1001 01:37:19,808 --> 01:37:21,901 You look ravishing tonight. 1002 01:37:22,010 --> 01:37:24,638 - Yes, I know that. - You know that? 1003 01:37:24,746 --> 01:37:26,680 I knew that you knew that. 1004 01:37:26,782 --> 01:37:28,807 You did? I knew you knew I knew that. 1005 01:37:28,917 --> 01:37:31,181 What made you decide to become a detective? 1006 01:37:31,286 --> 01:37:35,746 It's not something one decides every day of the week, you know. 1007 01:37:35,857 --> 01:37:38,655 But in my case, it began when my great aunt 1008 01:37:38,760 --> 01:37:40,660 was kidnapped and held for ransom 1009 01:37:40,762 --> 01:37:44,220 by an unlicensed Armenian phrenologist. 1010 01:37:44,332 --> 01:37:46,357 An Armenian phrenologist? 1011 01:37:46,468 --> 01:37:50,905 Yes, you know. A man who reads the "beumps" on your head. 1012 01:37:51,006 --> 01:37:52,530 - The "beumps"? - What? 1013 01:37:52,641 --> 01:37:54,302 You said "beumps"? 1014 01:37:54,443 --> 01:37:58,174 Yes. Have you ever had your "beumps" read? 1015 01:37:58,280 --> 01:37:59,838 I don't think so. 1016 01:37:59,948 --> 01:38:03,349 I would guess that your "beumps" would make excellent reading. 1017 01:38:04,886 --> 01:38:08,049 Would you mind if I read your "beumps" sometime?