1
00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:16,138
<i>I just hope it doesn't cause any</i>
<i>permanent damage.</i>

2
00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:25,752
- <i>How long have you been here?</i>
- <i>A while.</i>

3
00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:30,458
- <i>You missed your prom?</i>
- <i>Yeah.</i>

4
00:00:36,469 --> 00:00:39,870
<i>The thing is, when I made that bet</i>...

5
00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:44,537
There he is. It's Freddie.
He's wearing a tux.

6
00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:47,304
- <i>What's up?</i>
- Yes.

7
00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:49,379
<i>I met a whole other</i>
<i>person inside of you.</i>

8
00:00:49,582 --> 00:00:52,107
- <i>Inside both of us.</i>
- Shut up.

9
00:00:52,318 --> 00:00:54,479
<i>I would've never found</i>
<i>that person inside of me...</i>

10
00:00:54,687 --> 00:00:56,780
<i>... if it weren't for the person</i>
<i>inside of you.</i>

11
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:59,015
That's sweet.

12
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:00,988
<i>The whole other person</i>
<i>inside of me...</i>

13
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:04,357
<i>... thinks that the whole other person</i>
<i>inside of you has come a long way.</i>

14
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:08,591
<i>So would the whole other person</i>
<i>inside of you like to dance?</i>

15
00:01:42,735 --> 00:01:44,396
Yes.

16
00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:48,006
- Morning, sweetie!
- Daddy!

17
00:01:48,374 --> 00:01:51,036
- Why are you in here?
- Why am I in here?

18
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:53,211
It's her birthday, Dad.

19
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:56,074
Happy birthday, sweetie.

20
00:01:59,385 --> 00:02:03,583
- What's that buzzing sound?
- I just need a minute here.

21
00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:05,757
Maybe it's that construction.

22
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:08,219
Where's my little angel?

23
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,053
Happy birthday, honey.

24
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,490
Grandma? Grandpa?

25
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:13,130
Rosco!

26
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:18,460
Rosco, go.

27
00:02:19,239 --> 00:02:21,332
- Hello.
- Father O'Flannagan?

28
00:02:21,574 --> 00:02:24,600
I brought your special friends
from the center!

29
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,507
- Happy birthday!
- Janey's making faces.

30
00:02:27,747 --> 00:02:29,305
It smells in here.

31
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:31,416
Okay, make a wish, dear.

32
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:33,578
No.

33
00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:59,777
This isn't a typical high school.

34
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:04,609
At John Hughes, there are no cliques,
no exclusive social groups.

35
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:08,287
You're accepted for you,
not who you hang out with.

36
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:12,651
We'll divide into groups
so you can get to know your peers.

37
00:03:12,892 --> 00:03:16,157
Let's get all you jocks
in one group...

38
00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:19,888
...and get you slutty girls
over here by me.

39
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,363
Hey, how you doing?
Welcome.

40
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:25,400
You losers should
hang out in the back.

41
00:03:25,638 --> 00:03:29,165
That clearly includes you.
Come on, get back there.

42
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:32,173
Take a look at the kid
standing beside you.

43
00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:37,440
They're your only friends
for the next four years.

44
00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:39,914
Okay, let's move it, people!

45
00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:54,261
- You need to start dating.
- I don't date. You know that.

46
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,297
Janey, you know Dad's rule.

47
00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:58,367
I can't have sex before you.

48
00:03:58,605 --> 00:04:01,802
I don't conform to
typical high-school norms.

49
00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:06,375
I read Sylvia Plath,
listen to Bikini Kill and eat tofu.

50
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:10,049
- I'm a unique rebel.
- More like you're a lesbo.

51
00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:12,683
Mitch, leave your sister alone.

52
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,284
Thank you, Daddy.

53
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:18,889
If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher,
that's her decision.

54
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:23,225
<i>Go! Fight! Win!</i>

55
00:04:25,531 --> 00:04:27,158
All right!

56
00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:31,760
Nice combination, Crissy!

57
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:39,745
I've been meaning to get that fixed.

58
00:04:40,179 --> 00:04:41,771
Later, Dad.

59
00:04:42,248 --> 00:04:43,613
Hey.

60
00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:46,046
I'll be late to pick you up.

61
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,220
Why? A job interview?

62
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:51,890
No, honey.
I'll probably just be way too drunk.

63
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,650
That's good.
No drinking and driving.

64
00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:58,728
Oh, I'll be driving.
I'll just be too drunk to remember.

65
00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:01,458
Okay. Bye, Daddy.

66
00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:03,763
Bye, pumpkin-head.

67
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,777
- Oh, my God!
- Get out of the road!

68
00:05:30,096 --> 00:05:32,997
Oh, my God, it's Jake.

69
00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:36,360
- Hi, stud.
- Hi, Jake.

70
00:05:36,602 --> 00:05:40,436
- I love that thing with his eyebrows.
- Those sideburns.

71
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:44,734
Oh, my God, there's Jake.
He's so popular.

72
00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:46,835
He just looked at me.

73
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,708
- Here. You can keep it.
- Tiff.

74
00:05:49,949 --> 00:05:52,645
Hi, Jake. It's all wet.

75
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,646
Melanie.

76
00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:56,878
Hey, Jake.

77
00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:59,318
Hey, Arthur.

78
00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:10,158
Here's Ricky!

79
00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:12,394
Hey, Ricky.
How was your weekend?

80
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:17,274
Friday night I stood
outside your window in the rain...

81
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:19,068
...screaming your name.

82
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:23,443
Then I spent Saturday and Sunday
making you this great...

83
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:27,915
...I've-been-desperately-trying-
to-tell-you-that...

84
00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:30,452
...I'm-madly-in-love-with-you...

85
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,715
...mix tape for your birthday.

86
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:36,258
A mix tape?
That's so sweet, Ricky.

87
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,789
See you in English.

88
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,963
Catch you guy later.

89
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:49,639
What happening?

90
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:53,334
Damn, Shorty, Dog is pretending
to be Asian and shit.

91
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:58,312
That cracker is white!
Can't he see that, yo?

92
00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:01,247
Did you get any action this weekend?

93
00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:05,082
- I visit grandfather.
- I played with my sisters.

94
00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:06,655
We're pathetic.

95
00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:10,556
How will we ever lose our virginity
by graduation?

96
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:13,493
- We're freshmen.
- What's with the attitude?

97
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:17,328
- Not easy to get lucky here.
- Girls are sensitive.

98
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:21,666
They're not looking for sex.
They're looking for love.

99
00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:24,342
Fuck me! Harder!

100
00:07:31,484 --> 00:07:33,645
Amanda Becker.

101
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:37,981
She is so perfect.

102
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:49,226
Keep dreaming.

103
00:07:50,102 --> 00:07:51,797
What's up, Reggie Ray?

104
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:54,700
I can't wait until Friday's game.

105
00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:58,809
What about your head? You have
a blood clot the size of a grapefruit.

106
00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:03,038
Five more concussions and you'll die.
You should take it easy.

107
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:06,846
- Don't listen to him.
- Austin.

108
00:08:07,119 --> 00:08:11,886
Mr. Not-First-String-Anymore
isn't first-string anymore.

109
00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:16,624
We know what happened last time
Jake called the plays.

110
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:19,764
<i>And now, our hometown hero...</i>

111
00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:23,561
<i>... first-string quarterback,</i>
<i>Jake Wyler!</i>

112
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:27,227
Malik, could you hold these books?

113
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,238
Sure. Why not?
I am the token black guy.

114
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,911
I smile, stay out of
the conversation...

115
00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:38,550
...and say things like, "Damn,"
"Shit," and, "That is wack!"

116
00:08:55,234 --> 00:08:59,068
What's she doing here?
She graduated four years ago.

117
00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:02,707
- Hi, Jake.
- Catherine.

118
00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:04,534
Can I ask you a question?

119
00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:08,076
Why is it when I tell a guy
to put it anywhere...

120
00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:11,283
...they always stick it in my ass?
- Damn!

121
00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:13,610
Way too much information.

122
00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:18,187
Oh, no. Too much information
would be telling you...

123
00:09:18,424 --> 00:09:21,359
...that after they're done
I take a huge dump.

124
00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:23,562
Shit!

125
00:09:25,331 --> 00:09:26,457
On their chest.

126
00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,233
Oh, that is wack!

127
00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:48,012
Why do hot girls always walk
in slow motion?

128
00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:56,691
Priscilla, there you are.

129
00:09:56,896 --> 00:10:00,388
Jake, I need some
T-to-the-fourth-power-Y.

130
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:04,634
Some time to talk to you.

131
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:08,168
God.

132
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:12,576
It made sense to me, Priscilla.

133
00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:26,388
You're leaving me for this guy?

134
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:30,255
I'm sorry, Jake.
We met over spring break.

135
00:10:33,499 --> 00:10:36,229
I'm not ordinary.

136
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,937
You're leaving me for this guy?

137
00:10:39,171 --> 00:10:41,162
His name is Les...

138
00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:45,969
...and he's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.

139
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,610
And so is his bag.

140
00:11:19,945 --> 00:11:24,905
<i>Janey Briggs,</i>
<i>please report to the office.</i>

141
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:31,122
Being a foreign-exchange student
is scary...

142
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:34,087
...adjusting to a new school,
a new country.

143
00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:37,989
But you'll find that the students
are very accepting.

144
00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:45,168
You have a sunny disposition.

145
00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:48,600
You got your schedule?

146
00:11:57,950 --> 00:12:00,350
Well, isn't that wonderful?

147
00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:01,946
Janey, come in.

148
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:05,679
This is Areola,
our foreign-exchange student.

149
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:08,792
Janey will show you
to your first class.

150
00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:11,385
Hi.

151
00:12:17,369 --> 00:12:20,270
- I like your backpack.
- <i>Grazie.</i>

152
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:29,109
Dude, I heard there's an undercover
reporter posing as a student.

153
00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:31,373
Dude, no way, dude.

154
00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:35,246
Do you know where
Mr. Keller's English class is?

155
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:38,821
- Down the hall, on your left.
- Sweet, dude.

156
00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:43,426
For the thousandth time, I said,
"Swallow that thing."

157
00:12:43,662 --> 00:12:45,425
Am I right?

158
00:12:49,401 --> 00:12:52,996
How could Priscilla dump me,
Jake Wyler?

159
00:12:53,239 --> 00:12:55,173
Who does she think she is?

160
00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:57,637
I got two words for you, Jake:

161
00:12:57,910 --> 00:13:01,402
Prom queen, material.

162
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,511
Austin, she's an illusion.

163
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:08,015
You take away the makeup,
the clothes...

164
00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:12,122
...the way she wears her hair,
the smell of her perfume...

165
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:16,454
...that cute face she makes
when she's tonguing my balls...

166
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,195
Look, she's replaceable.

167
00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:23,527
Given the right look,
the right boyfriend...

168
00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:27,205
...any girl could be prom queen.
- I smell a bet.

169
00:13:27,439 --> 00:13:30,067
Jakey, Jakey,
about to make a big...

170
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,436
...mistakey.

171
00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:36,136
Here's the wager: I'll pick the most
hopeless girl at this school...

172
00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:39,715
...and I'll bet that you
can't turn her into prom queen.

173
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:41,819
You're on, Austin.

174
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:43,955
I'll bet you lose that bet...

175
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:47,717
...but learn a much more
valuable lesson and win.

176
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,893
In life, that is.

177
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,324
You're both on.

178
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:53,930
All right.

179
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:58,762
Let's find you a prom queen,
Mr. Let's-Find-Me-A-Prom-Queen.

180
00:13:59,471 --> 00:14:03,237
So, Areola, I noticed
your accent keeps changing.

181
00:14:03,709 --> 00:14:04,903
Where are you from?

182
00:14:05,110 --> 00:14:06,372
I cannot tell you that...

183
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,877
...because I am a generic
foreign-exchange student...

184
00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:11,914
...whose country of origin
is of little importance.

185
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:14,579
Well, have fun in chemistry.

186
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:17,551
Rightio, love. See you at teatime.

187
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,158
What about her?

188
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,592
Baby's got back.
Hunch, that is.

189
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:28,790
No, way too easy.

190
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:33,028
- <i>I have no pigment</i>
- Any girl with a guitar is hot.

191
00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:34,866
<i>I need sunscreen</i>

192
00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:38,305
Even a hippie albino.
She could be prom queen.

193
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:40,637
What about the Fratelli sisters?

194
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:44,444
So they're slightly disfigured
and connected.

195
00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:48,711
But combined, those two make up
one pretty decent chick.

196
00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:51,081
- I'd do them!
- I know, Reggie Ray.

197
00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:54,622
I'm looking for somebody
really messed up.

198
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:58,694
I'm talking about a real shitbomb.

199
00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:05,626
Well, bombs away.

200
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:10,732
No, no, no, anyone but her!
Not Janey Briggs.

201
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:14,537
Guys, she's got glasses
and a ponytail.

202
00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:18,511
She's got paint on her overalls!
What is that?

203
00:15:18,717 --> 00:15:21,618
There's no way
she could be prom queen.

204
00:15:21,854 --> 00:15:24,288
Damn, that shit's wack.

205
00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:27,385
Aim for the head!

206
00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:44,835
Can you imagine
what they do in there?

207
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,511
Holy cow.

208
00:15:46,745 --> 00:15:50,044
Guys, get your heads
out of the gutter.

209
00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:53,342
It's a locker room.
It's no sexier in there...

210
00:15:53,585 --> 00:15:55,246
...than it is in here.

211
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:59,049
Molly, can you help me
take off my panties?

212
00:15:59,591 --> 00:16:02,492
Hold on, I've got lotion
on my hands.

213
00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:05,788
That's okay.
You can just use your mouth.

214
00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:15,563
Thanks, Miss Peters.

215
00:16:16,108 --> 00:16:17,268
So...

216
00:16:17,509 --> 00:16:21,343
...who would like to share their poem
with the class?

217
00:16:23,682 --> 00:16:26,674
Mr. Keller? Over here.
Right here. Please.

218
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,910
- Anyone?
- Mr. Keller!

219
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:34,520
- I'm not sure we should be doing this.
- Quiet. I hear them.

220
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,958
Hey, I found a buffalo nickel!

221
00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:44,601
This is gonna be good.

222
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:46,965
I think I see nipple.

223
00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:49,265
You think we should let them know
we're up here?

224
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:52,103
Hey, Molly, the hot water's
not working on my shower.

225
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:54,973
- Mind if I share yours?
- Not at all, Christy.

226
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,148
But we're gonna have
to get real close.

227
00:16:57,349 --> 00:17:01,683
Okay. How about I press
up against your back?

228
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:06,621
Man, it is hot in here.

229
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,427
I gotta take off my shirt.

230
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:12,621
What?

231
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:14,859
Doesn't even have to rhyme.

232
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:18,670
Doesn't even have to be a poem.

233
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,031
Please pick me.
I'm the one.

234
00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:21,536
Yes...

235
00:17:22,074 --> 00:17:23,541
...Ricky.

236
00:17:32,117 --> 00:17:35,712
- "Ten Things I Love About Janey."
- Oh, not again.

237
00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:37,387
By Ricky Lipman.

238
00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:43,389
<i>I love it when Janey talks</i>
<i>I love it when Janey walks</i>

239
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:47,861
<i>I love it when Janey drinks</i>
<i>I love it when Janey blinks</i>

240
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:50,961
<i>I love it when Janey says hi</i>

241
00:17:51,203 --> 00:17:55,071
<i>I love it when Janey says</i>
<i>"See you in English"</i>

242
00:17:58,777 --> 00:18:02,110
<i>I love sitting next to Janey in class</i>

243
00:18:02,314 --> 00:18:08,219
<i>I love staring into Janey's window</i>
<i>At 1465 South Pass</i>

244
00:18:09,354 --> 00:18:12,380
<i>I love following Janey to the mall</i>

245
00:18:15,794 --> 00:18:17,455
<i>And I love</i>

246
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:22,133
<i>Collecting strands of Janey's hair</i>

247
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:28,395
<i>And rolling them up</i>
<i>Into little Janey hairballs</i>

248
00:18:39,551 --> 00:18:44,511
Thank you, Ricky,
for that interesting poem.

249
00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:48,723
I can't believe
what we just did, Molly.

250
00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:54,763
It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience
that will never happen again.

251
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,332
I don't know about you guys...

252
00:18:56,535 --> 00:18:59,868
...but I am really proud
of Christy and Molly.

253
00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:02,507
We're going back.

254
00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:07,970
- Put on my shirt.
- I'm trying to get mine.

255
00:19:18,123 --> 00:19:19,385
Jackpot.

256
00:19:19,858 --> 00:19:22,952
Girl go pee-pee
not what I want to see-see.

257
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,254
I agree-gree.

258
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:28,330
Would you two please try and be
a little open-minded?

259
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:34,268
Class, let's open our books
and continue with our poetry lesson.

260
00:19:34,473 --> 00:19:36,964
You know what I think about poetry?

261
00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:42,941
Oh, is that amusing?

262
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:46,951
Is that what your generation
considers humor?

263
00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:57,986
- This make me kind of happy in pants.
- Yeah?

264
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:04,661
Goodness.

265
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:08,606
That make me kind of sad in pants.

266
00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:13,205
Shakespeare, Moli�re...

267
00:20:13,445 --> 00:20:15,310
...Oscar Wilde.

268
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:17,208
These were humorists.

269
00:20:19,985 --> 00:20:21,043
I'm gonna be sick.

270
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:27,158
The sublime poetic genius
of a clever turn of phrase.

271
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:29,292
That is true comedy.

272
00:20:30,095 --> 00:20:31,460
Heavens to Betsy.

273
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:39,061
Your modern, moronic, feeble-minded,
sophomoric excuse for wit...

274
00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:44,207
...is merely a parade of nasty...

275
00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:47,702
...filthy, vulgar...

276
00:20:49,047 --> 00:20:51,641
...human excrement!

277
00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:14,539
- Hey, Janey. What's up?
- Excuse me?

278
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:18,504
Ever want to be
the most popular girl in school?

279
00:21:18,744 --> 00:21:20,735
Anorexic, superficial?

280
00:21:20,979 --> 00:21:24,437
A whore who lacks any real
long-term goals?

281
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:26,173
Exactly.

282
00:21:26,418 --> 00:21:30,115
If you're interested,
I thought we could go out sometime.

283
00:21:30,355 --> 00:21:31,652
Be seen in public.

284
00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:36,122
- We haven't spoken in four years.
- Actually, more like six.

285
00:21:36,561 --> 00:21:39,758
That time when we were
in line at that theater...

286
00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:44,094
...I was actually saying "hey"
to the person behind you.

287
00:21:50,742 --> 00:21:54,439
Friday's championship game
is against North Compton...

288
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,444
...and that squad always tries
to bring it.

289
00:21:57,683 --> 00:22:00,151
- Bring what, Priscilla?
- Bring it.

290
00:22:00,385 --> 00:22:02,910
Right, but what is "it"?

291
00:22:03,288 --> 00:22:05,722
It's just what they bring, okay?

292
00:22:05,924 --> 00:22:08,324
So then it is what.

293
00:22:08,527 --> 00:22:11,724
- What?
- Exactly. That's what it is.

294
00:22:11,930 --> 00:22:13,989
No, it is what I want it to be.

295
00:22:14,199 --> 00:22:16,599
Even if what is what what is
or it is what what is...

296
00:22:16,802 --> 00:22:18,770
...it's just it no matter what, got it?

297
00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:36,647
I'm Sandy Sue.
It is simply swell to meet all of you.

298
00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:39,786
Peachy.
You brought a routine?

299
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:42,357
Oh, you bet.

300
00:22:42,961 --> 00:22:45,293
Give me an H.
Give me a U.

301
00:22:46,231 --> 00:22:49,860
Give me a giant pussy-licking,
ass-fucker cock shit!

302
00:22:53,605 --> 00:22:57,598
I'm sorry.
That was my Tourette's.

303
00:22:58,477 --> 00:23:01,446
I don't know about her.

304
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:05,172
Let's get it straight.
This isn't a cheerocracy.

305
00:23:05,617 --> 00:23:06,914
I am the cheertator.

306
00:23:07,152 --> 00:23:11,851
I make the cheercisions,
I will deal with the cheeronsequences.

307
00:23:12,090 --> 00:23:15,890
If there are no more cheeruptions,
we can cheertinue.

308
00:23:16,661 --> 00:23:18,219
Thank you.

309
00:23:21,867 --> 00:23:24,802
Grandpa stuck a finger in my ass!
Cum face!

310
00:23:26,872 --> 00:23:29,602
She'll cheer do.
Great.

311
00:23:31,176 --> 00:23:33,940
Goddamn it, let's go now!
Thirty-two draw!

312
00:23:34,179 --> 00:23:37,580
Goddamn it!
Let's show some goddamn hustle!

313
00:23:37,816 --> 00:23:41,377
Look alive out there!
This isn't a goddamn tryout!

314
00:23:41,620 --> 00:23:43,952
- Goddamn it!
- Blue 21! Hut!

315
00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:45,656
What the hell?

316
00:23:45,891 --> 00:23:48,325
Nobody's covering that hole!

317
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:51,393
Goddamn it!
Let's do it again!

318
00:23:52,798 --> 00:23:55,699
- Goddamn it!
- <i>Marty! Marty! Marty!</i>

319
00:23:56,468 --> 00:23:58,698
All right, Marty.

320
00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:03,240
- Get your ass in there.
- You sure?

321
00:24:03,475 --> 00:24:05,841
Just go, goddamn it.

322
00:24:06,077 --> 00:24:08,272
Wyler, we got this wrapped up.

323
00:24:08,513 --> 00:24:12,506
All you gotta do is run out the clock.

324
00:24:14,519 --> 00:24:17,386
For God's sakes,
don't try anything fancy!

325
00:24:17,622 --> 00:24:19,112
Goddamn it.

326
00:24:21,993 --> 00:24:23,722
Listen, boys.

327
00:24:23,962 --> 00:24:26,396
We got time for one more play.

328
00:24:26,631 --> 00:24:29,896
- I say we get the ball to Marty.
- Damn.

329
00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:32,899
No, I'm just happy
being on the field.

330
00:24:33,138 --> 00:24:37,575
Coach reckons we should take a knee.
We're up 42-0.

331
00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:39,936
I don't care what coach reckons.

332
00:24:40,178 --> 00:24:42,703
You can't go through life
being scared.

333
00:24:42,948 --> 00:24:46,281
If you do, you'll always wonder,
"What if?"

334
00:24:46,985 --> 00:24:50,716
But if you go out there
and you give it your all...

335
00:24:51,122 --> 00:24:52,783
...that's heroic.

336
00:24:55,293 --> 00:24:57,261
Guys, I appreciate this, but...

337
00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:59,794
That's the spirit! Ready?

338
00:25:05,403 --> 00:25:08,065
What are you doing?
Get out of here.

339
00:25:08,306 --> 00:25:09,898
Not here. Down there.

340
00:25:10,141 --> 00:25:11,199
Over here?

341
00:25:11,443 --> 00:25:13,468
What are you doing?
Over here!

342
00:25:14,079 --> 00:25:15,137
Here?

343
00:25:16,281 --> 00:25:17,646
We love you, Marty!

344
00:25:17,883 --> 00:25:19,475
Set, hut!

345
00:25:30,328 --> 00:25:32,091
No. No.

346
00:25:33,465 --> 00:25:35,626
No, don't throw it to me.

347
00:25:36,334 --> 00:25:37,665
No!

348
00:26:03,728 --> 00:26:07,220
- Nice hands, Marty!
- I did it.

349
00:26:08,133 --> 00:26:10,067
- I'm a hero!
- Walk it off!

350
00:26:11,369 --> 00:26:14,964
All right, goddamn it!
Hit the showers, goddamn it!

351
00:26:15,540 --> 00:26:18,509
Bunch of candy-asses.
Lousy practice!

352
00:26:18,743 --> 00:26:21,439
We'll get our asses kicked Friday!

353
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,979
What about fourth-string?
I didn't get to practice.

354
00:26:25,216 --> 00:26:29,050
After all the shenanigans
you pulled last season...

355
00:26:29,287 --> 00:26:34,088
...thank God you're still
in goddamn uniform, goddamn it!

356
00:26:58,116 --> 00:27:02,348
If my parents hear I got detention,
no dessert for a week.

357
00:27:02,587 --> 00:27:04,612
We've disgraced ourselves
and our families.

358
00:27:04,823 --> 00:27:06,757
Guys, guys.

359
00:27:06,958 --> 00:27:10,894
I sense the morale's a little low.
I say we make a pact...

360
00:27:11,563 --> 00:27:13,326
...right here, right now.

361
00:27:13,565 --> 00:27:16,728
Before the end of the year,
we all get laid!

362
00:27:17,402 --> 00:27:19,233
We always make that pact.

363
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:22,338
We've been waiting for this
since puberty.

364
00:27:22,574 --> 00:27:25,907
- Two weeks ago!
- I just got first hair on ball.

365
00:27:26,578 --> 00:27:29,046
I don't think you understand.

366
00:27:29,581 --> 00:27:32,914
We'll become the masters of our
sexual destiny.

367
00:27:33,151 --> 00:27:36,917
No longer will our penises remain
flaccid and unused.

368
00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:39,623
No longer steal Grandfather's porn.

369
00:27:40,191 --> 00:27:43,922
No longer will we use blindfolds
when we jerk each other off.

370
00:27:44,696 --> 00:27:46,288
All right, that's it.

371
00:27:50,168 --> 00:27:52,534
What in God's name is going on?

372
00:27:52,771 --> 00:27:55,399
- What was that ruckus?
- I no hear ruckus.

373
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:59,770
- I heard a ruckus.
- Can you describe this ruckus, sir?

374
00:28:00,011 --> 00:28:02,741
You better watch your tongue,
young man!

375
00:28:02,981 --> 00:28:04,812
We were just sitting here.

376
00:28:05,050 --> 00:28:08,076
You just bought yourself
another detention.

377
00:28:08,319 --> 00:28:11,117
- That's not fair.
- Cry me a river, dickface.

378
00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:14,189
- You bought another one.
- Eat my shorts.

379
00:28:14,793 --> 00:28:16,090
What was that?

380
00:28:16,327 --> 00:28:19,490
Eat my shorts!

381
00:28:19,731 --> 00:28:22,495
- Don't mess with a bull.
- I'm shaking.

382
00:28:22,734 --> 00:28:24,326
- You got another.
- Good!

383
00:28:24,569 --> 00:28:27,163
- You through?
- Not even close, bud.

384
00:28:27,405 --> 00:28:29,134
- Want another one?
- Yes.

385
00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:31,365
- You got it!
- Good.

386
00:28:31,576 --> 00:28:33,601
- Another one. Had enough?
- No.

387
00:28:33,812 --> 00:28:34,972
- Another one.
- So?

388
00:28:35,213 --> 00:28:37,147
- I can keep going.
- Go!

389
00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:39,612
- Eenie, meenie, minie...
- Moe.

390
00:28:39,818 --> 00:28:40,978
- Your mom's a...
- Ho.

391
00:28:41,219 --> 00:28:42,948
- He's a famous clown.
- Bobo.

392
00:28:43,154 --> 00:28:45,384
Mitch, cut it out.

393
00:28:45,957 --> 00:28:47,356
<i>Stop.</i>

394
00:28:47,592 --> 00:28:49,526
- Another one.
- But I was...

395
00:28:49,761 --> 00:28:51,058
That's another one!

396
00:28:51,296 --> 00:28:54,026
- One more for Ox or for Mitch?
- Another.

397
00:28:54,833 --> 00:28:56,960
- I confused.
- Shut up, Wang Chung.

398
00:28:57,202 --> 00:29:01,104
I got you for the rest of your lives.
You're mine.

399
00:29:01,539 --> 00:29:05,100
Next time, I'm cracking skulls.

400
00:29:20,892 --> 00:29:23,520
How many times have I said
I'm not going to Princeton?

401
00:29:23,762 --> 00:29:25,627
I'm not pressuring you.

402
00:29:26,064 --> 00:29:27,725
Just give it four years.

403
00:29:27,966 --> 00:29:31,265
If you don't like it,
you can work at my firm.

404
00:29:31,503 --> 00:29:34,267
I don't want your life!

405
00:29:35,073 --> 00:29:36,131
That's okay, son.

406
00:29:36,374 --> 00:29:39,138
I heard about what happened
with Priscilla.

407
00:29:39,377 --> 00:29:40,674
The good news is...

408
00:29:40,879 --> 00:29:43,370
...I�ve got the perfect rebound girl.

409
00:29:43,615 --> 00:29:44,877
Really?

410
00:29:46,251 --> 00:29:48,947
Beverly! Could you come in here?

411
00:29:55,059 --> 00:29:56,287
That's Mom!

412
00:29:56,561 --> 00:29:58,552
What do you say, kiddo?

413
00:29:59,330 --> 00:30:01,662
I'm gonna leave you two alone.

414
00:30:12,210 --> 00:30:14,371
Would you prefer
the top or bottom, dear?

415
00:30:14,579 --> 00:30:17,070
Oh, my God!

416
00:30:17,482 --> 00:30:19,780
<i>So you in love?</i>

417
00:30:22,153 --> 00:30:25,919
- <i>Yeah, I think I am.</i>
- <i>Well, who is this guy?</i>

418
00:30:26,157 --> 00:30:30,287
<i>His name is Blane. He's a senior.</i>
<i>He's so beautiful.</i>

419
00:30:35,834 --> 00:30:39,201
Janey? Sweetheart?

420
00:30:41,706 --> 00:30:43,105
Hi, Daddy.

421
00:30:43,308 --> 00:30:46,072
Is something wrong?
You were quiet at dinner.

422
00:30:46,644 --> 00:30:49,306
You were passed out on the table.

423
00:30:54,786 --> 00:30:56,549
Listen, honey...

424
00:30:56,788 --> 00:31:00,781
...I may not always be coherent
or conscious...

425
00:31:01,059 --> 00:31:05,462
...but I know when my girl's
got something on her mind.

426
00:31:05,897 --> 00:31:08,866
Well, there is this popular boy,
Jake.

427
00:31:09,100 --> 00:31:12,729
Oh, sweetie.

428
00:31:14,038 --> 00:31:16,529
Jake knocked you up, didn't he?

429
00:31:16,741 --> 00:31:18,641
No, he asked me out.

430
00:31:20,345 --> 00:31:23,610
Do you like him?
Are you attracted to him?

431
00:31:23,948 --> 00:31:26,644
I mean, would you give him head?

432
00:31:26,851 --> 00:31:29,684
He is kind of cute, but...

433
00:31:29,921 --> 00:31:32,253
...he's always been a total jerk.

434
00:31:32,490 --> 00:31:34,981
It's weird that he's
talking to me now.

435
00:31:35,226 --> 00:31:38,992
Especially after you've packed on a
couple of pounds.

436
00:31:43,201 --> 00:31:45,692
What do you think I should do?

437
00:31:45,937 --> 00:31:47,564
Look, sweetie.

438
00:31:47,805 --> 00:31:52,299
I never want you to do anything
that compromises who you are...

439
00:31:52,543 --> 00:31:55,876
...because you're very,
very special to me.

440
00:31:56,114 --> 00:32:00,050
If Jake is only asking you out
to get into your pants...

441
00:32:00,585 --> 00:32:02,576
...well, then I'd say...

442
00:32:02,787 --> 00:32:04,584
...go out with him.

443
00:32:04,822 --> 00:32:08,383
You could certainly use
the popularity points.

444
00:32:08,793 --> 00:32:10,590
And if Jake likes you...

445
00:32:10,828 --> 00:32:15,959
...then maybe those kids'll quit
throwing bags of shit on the porch.

446
00:32:21,506 --> 00:32:23,167
I feel better.

447
00:32:25,777 --> 00:32:28,473
Thanks for the advice, Daddy.

448
00:32:29,414 --> 00:32:32,679
That's what I'm here for,
pumpkin-tits.

449
00:32:37,322 --> 00:32:38,289
Catherine.

450
00:32:39,657 --> 00:32:42,785
- I need to ask you a favor.
- It's about time.

451
00:32:43,261 --> 00:32:45,286
No, not that.

452
00:32:47,065 --> 00:32:50,000
You're the cruelest girl
in high school.

453
00:32:50,234 --> 00:32:54,398
You're the only one who can help
trick Janey into liking me.

454
00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:58,166
That girl with the glasses
and the ponytail?

455
00:32:58,409 --> 00:33:01,310
Don't forget the
paint-covered overalls.

456
00:33:02,547 --> 00:33:04,981
Well...

457
00:33:05,216 --> 00:33:07,741
...it's going to be difficult.

458
00:33:08,519 --> 00:33:10,783
But I think I can help you.

459
00:33:11,022 --> 00:33:12,455
Sit.

460
00:33:15,693 --> 00:33:17,320
For a price.

461
00:33:19,530 --> 00:33:22,693
And this time,
I don't want your car.

462
00:33:24,435 --> 00:33:26,096
I want you.

463
00:33:26,437 --> 00:33:29,964
Catherine, that's disgusting.
You're my sister.

464
00:33:30,208 --> 00:33:32,699
Only by blood.

465
00:33:32,944 --> 00:33:38,405
- What is wrong with this family?
- Hey, do you want my help or not?

466
00:33:51,963 --> 00:33:55,091
Okay, there are three things
you need to do...

467
00:33:55,299 --> 00:33:58,063
...to have Janey
eating out of your hand.

468
00:34:06,277 --> 00:34:08,040
First, you earn her trust.

469
00:34:08,780 --> 00:34:09,838
Punk!

470
00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:11,538
Come on, leave him alone!

471
00:34:11,916 --> 00:34:15,909
Hey! Come on, guys, back off.
That's enough, okay?

472
00:34:19,690 --> 00:34:21,282
You little shit.

473
00:34:32,937 --> 00:34:35,565
Don't you guys mess with him again.

474
00:34:35,807 --> 00:34:40,608
<i>Once you've got her trust,</i>
<i>it's time to make her feel special.</i>

475
00:34:41,279 --> 00:34:45,045
<i>Pick a song with her name in it.</i>
<i>That always works.</i>

476
00:35:03,067 --> 00:35:06,059
<i>Janey's got a gun</i>

477
00:35:06,337 --> 00:35:07,804
<i>Janey's got a gun</i>

478
00:35:08,039 --> 00:35:10,872
She's got a gun!
Janey's got a gun!

479
00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:13,236
<i>The whole world's come undone</i>

480
00:35:14,412 --> 00:35:16,505
<i>Janey Briggs got a gun</i>

481
00:35:17,148 --> 00:35:21,380
<i>So run away</i>
<i>Run away from the pain</i>

482
00:35:21,853 --> 00:35:23,047
Take it easy, miss.

483
00:35:23,287 --> 00:35:24,982
- Wait.
- Get back here!

484
00:35:25,189 --> 00:35:28,784
<i>Run away, run away from the pain</i>

485
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:30,622
Hold her down.

486
00:35:33,331 --> 00:35:36,562
Give me your hand!
Just give us the gun, Janey.

487
00:35:37,468 --> 00:35:40,665
<i>After you've made her feel special...</i>

488
00:35:40,905 --> 00:35:43,874
<i>... it's time to put the icing</i>
<i>on the cake.</i>

489
00:35:44,108 --> 00:35:46,668
I'm really glad you showed up, Janey.

490
00:35:46,944 --> 00:35:51,711
The only reason I came here
was to tell you to leave me alone.

491
00:35:51,949 --> 00:35:54,941
You know, I was just making a snack.

492
00:35:55,186 --> 00:35:56,915
You want one?

493
00:35:57,622 --> 00:35:59,522
No. Listen, Jake...

494
00:35:59,757 --> 00:36:01,452
I'll be right back.

495
00:36:02,260 --> 00:36:03,284
But I...

496
00:36:38,729 --> 00:36:40,356
Hungry?

497
00:36:43,434 --> 00:36:44,901
I don't like sundaes.

498
00:36:45,136 --> 00:36:49,470
It's not a sundae,
it's a banana split.

499
00:36:51,075 --> 00:36:54,909
I don't like those either.
Goodbye, Jake.

500
00:37:11,395 --> 00:37:12,726
So, Jake...

501
00:37:12,930 --> 00:37:17,230
...how's it going with Janey, Janey,
I couldn't be any more plainy?

502
00:37:19,036 --> 00:37:23,996
Well, you can ask her when I take her
to Preston Wasserstein's big party.

503
00:37:25,476 --> 00:37:26,636
Really?

504
00:37:28,613 --> 00:37:30,342
Really.

505
00:37:32,116 --> 00:37:33,242
How fitting.

506
00:37:33,451 --> 00:37:35,146
Everyone here is eating steak...

507
00:37:35,353 --> 00:37:38,516
...but your boy,
he's the chickenshit.

508
00:37:39,290 --> 00:37:43,192
Jake may not produce the proper
enzymes to digest red meat...

509
00:37:43,394 --> 00:37:47,558
...but he'll always be
more of a quarterback than Austin.

510
00:37:47,765 --> 00:37:50,097
Oh, really?

511
00:37:50,301 --> 00:37:52,132
That's right.

512
00:37:52,336 --> 00:37:53,894
Really.

513
00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:57,097
Come on, son. Let's show them.

514
00:37:58,643 --> 00:37:59,667
I smell a bet.

515
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:04,513
Come on, Austin.

516
00:38:12,189 --> 00:38:14,555
All right, Jake, let's do it.

517
00:38:14,759 --> 00:38:17,421
All right, let's go.

518
00:38:17,628 --> 00:38:19,926
What's the odds, huh?
Hey, what's the odds?

519
00:38:20,131 --> 00:38:25,194
What, 2-1? Shit.
You stupid damn hog.

520
00:38:26,504 --> 00:38:28,563
Must've been the wind, son.
Try again.

521
00:38:32,176 --> 00:38:33,734
Damn!

522
00:38:36,681 --> 00:38:38,945
I think I moved that time.

523
00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:40,973
And that time.

524
00:38:45,256 --> 00:38:46,245
Shit!

525
00:38:50,928 --> 00:38:52,623
That is wack.

526
00:38:55,933 --> 00:38:58,231
Just nail your mother, son.

527
00:38:58,436 --> 00:39:00,734
That's it. That's it.

528
00:39:01,872 --> 00:39:03,237
Way to go, Jake.

529
00:39:03,441 --> 00:39:06,001
At least you kept them
in the yard this time.

530
00:39:10,314 --> 00:39:13,249
I left some money
on the kitchen counter.

531
00:39:13,484 --> 00:39:15,884
Emergency numbers
are by the phone.

532
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,588
And remember, son:
No parties.

533
00:39:18,823 --> 00:39:20,085
I know, Dad.

534
00:39:20,458 --> 00:39:22,153
Keg coming through.
Hey.

535
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:24,188
What's up, man?

536
00:39:24,428 --> 00:39:26,419
We're trusting you, Preston.

537
00:39:26,664 --> 00:39:30,896
- Where do you want the speakers?
- In the dining room.

538
00:39:31,135 --> 00:39:33,330
You guys should hit the road.

539
00:39:33,571 --> 00:39:36,165
I'm taking your Ferrari
to buy hookers.

540
00:39:36,407 --> 00:39:38,932
We'll call you later to check in.

541
00:39:39,176 --> 00:39:42,543
I'll be so high,
I won't know where the phone is.

542
00:39:42,780 --> 00:39:44,213
That's my boy.

543
00:39:47,618 --> 00:39:49,813
Jake, what are you doing here?

544
00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:52,682
I'm taking you to Preston's big party.

545
00:39:53,290 --> 00:39:54,314
I can't.

546
00:39:54,558 --> 00:39:58,756
I'm not dressed to go to a party.
I'm a complete mess.

547
00:39:58,996 --> 00:40:02,557
I'd say you're one big fucking
train wreck.

548
00:40:20,084 --> 00:40:24,487
Maybe a little cover-up
would do the trick.

549
00:40:25,389 --> 00:40:26,583
Okay.

550
00:40:30,428 --> 00:40:33,261
What do we have
to work with here?

551
00:40:34,932 --> 00:40:39,892
These are quite nice.

552
00:40:46,911 --> 00:40:49,880
And everything seems to be
in working order down here.

553
00:40:55,786 --> 00:40:57,413
What are you doing?

554
00:40:59,290 --> 00:41:02,782
That's it. I've got it.

555
00:41:03,027 --> 00:41:04,187
What?

556
00:41:04,428 --> 00:41:08,421
It might seem crazy,
but you'll have to trust me.

557
00:41:36,260 --> 00:41:38,057
That's it.

558
00:41:38,295 --> 00:41:41,093
I did it. I'm a miracle-worker.

559
00:41:44,101 --> 00:41:45,659
Gentlemen...

560
00:41:45,903 --> 00:41:48,963
...may I present to you
the new and improved...

561
00:41:49,540 --> 00:41:51,701
...Janey Briggs.

562
00:42:26,443 --> 00:42:30,573
Congratulations. You just got
your first slow-motion entrance.

563
00:42:53,003 --> 00:42:55,096
I'm okay!

564
00:42:55,339 --> 00:42:56,567
Janey?

565
00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:02,239
Come on out of there, honey.
Quit farting around.

566
00:43:11,088 --> 00:43:13,989
- Got your mom's car keys?
- Check.

567
00:43:16,193 --> 00:43:17,751
- Sleeping bags.
- Check.

568
00:43:17,995 --> 00:43:18,984
- Condoms.
- Check.

569
00:43:19,229 --> 00:43:24,360
Three pubescent libidos to take us
on a series of wild adventures.

570
00:43:24,602 --> 00:43:26,866
Check! Road trip!

571
00:43:42,353 --> 00:43:43,479
We here.

572
00:43:44,021 --> 00:43:47,980
Gentlemen, tonight we go to our
first high school party.

573
00:43:48,592 --> 00:43:51,823
This is the place to buzz the Brillo.

574
00:43:52,062 --> 00:43:54,087
How you plan on buzzing Brillo?

575
00:43:55,232 --> 00:43:59,225
With this letter.
Amanda Becker will know the truth:

576
00:43:59,436 --> 00:44:02,098
I've loved her since I first saw her.

577
00:44:03,340 --> 00:44:05,399
Mitch, that was yesterday.

578
00:44:06,610 --> 00:44:07,975
Welcome to the party.

579
00:44:08,212 --> 00:44:12,478
If you're going to have sex,
do it in my parents' bedroom.

580
00:44:13,584 --> 00:44:17,953
- Does she go to our school?
- It's not even the same person.

581
00:44:18,188 --> 00:44:20,850
Janey-stainey-stained-pants-overalls?

582
00:44:21,091 --> 00:44:23,286
How did you talk me into this?

583
00:44:23,527 --> 00:44:28,191
Priscilla's freaking out
now that Janey's lost her ponytail.

584
00:44:28,432 --> 00:44:31,560
I'm going to go
fuck a complete stranger.

585
00:44:31,802 --> 00:44:34,896
Hey, I'm a complete stranger.

586
00:44:37,207 --> 00:44:40,699
Relax, all right?
It's going to be okay.

587
00:44:41,245 --> 00:44:42,269
Nice turtleneck.

588
00:44:42,513 --> 00:44:44,378
What's your name?

589
00:44:44,615 --> 00:44:47,948
I'm Sandy Sue.
Limp-dick fag-fucker!

590
00:44:48,185 --> 00:44:50,210
Who told you that?
Alison?

591
00:44:50,454 --> 00:44:53,184
Alison was bitter when we broke up.

592
00:44:53,424 --> 00:44:57,884
- Completely fake.
- Yeah, that's not her real hair color.

593
00:44:58,128 --> 00:45:02,258
- She's wearing the same outfit as me.
- It looks much better on you.

594
00:45:02,966 --> 00:45:05,332
Where is she?
I thought she'd be here by now.

595
00:45:20,751 --> 00:45:22,343
What's going on?

596
00:45:23,654 --> 00:45:28,591
We can't talk
until she starts moving again.

597
00:45:44,341 --> 00:45:46,241
What are you doing here?

598
00:45:48,879 --> 00:45:50,005
What do you mean?

599
00:45:50,247 --> 00:45:54,547
I'm supposed to be the only black guy
at this party.

600
00:45:55,319 --> 00:45:58,948
- Damn. Shit.
- Yeah, I know.

601
00:45:59,189 --> 00:46:00,156
- It's wack.
- It's wack.

602
00:46:00,390 --> 00:46:01,448
My bad, man.

603
00:46:01,692 --> 00:46:03,455
- Take this.
- Thanks.

604
00:46:03,694 --> 00:46:05,025
Do your thing.

605
00:46:05,662 --> 00:46:09,189
- Peace out, brother.
- Honest mistake.

606
00:46:10,567 --> 00:46:11,761
Yeah.

607
00:46:31,388 --> 00:46:33,879
Get back to the line, geek.

608
00:46:37,694 --> 00:46:39,628
Thank you.

609
00:46:46,970 --> 00:46:49,734
Hi, my name is Catherine.

610
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:55,002
Yeah, I know.
We just had sex five minutes ago.

611
00:46:59,416 --> 00:47:01,577
Not scoring any cock either?

612
00:47:01,819 --> 00:47:05,812
Cock? I've never even been kissed.

613
00:47:28,145 --> 00:47:29,737
Janey.

614
00:47:34,451 --> 00:47:36,316
Janey!

615
00:47:36,720 --> 00:47:38,585
Janey.

616
00:47:47,865 --> 00:47:52,461
What up, my yellow brothers?
Chinks in the house!

617
00:48:16,493 --> 00:48:18,358
This never actually happens
in real life.

618
00:48:18,562 --> 00:48:19,995
Then why are we doing this?

619
00:48:20,197 --> 00:48:21,960
I have no idea.

620
00:48:31,108 --> 00:48:33,042
Janey!

621
00:48:39,483 --> 00:48:43,579
Reggie Ray, have you
seen Janey anywhere?

622
00:48:44,588 --> 00:48:47,421
It's a good night for smoking.

623
00:48:47,658 --> 00:48:49,819
Ain't that right, Sausage?

624
00:48:57,534 --> 00:49:01,197
Okay, now close your eyes
and wet your lips.

625
00:49:01,438 --> 00:49:04,999
- Are you for real?
- Do you want to learn or not?

626
00:49:06,543 --> 00:49:09,341
I guess.

627
00:49:19,489 --> 00:49:24,791
- See? That wasn't so scary.
- It was nothing.

628
00:49:26,229 --> 00:49:28,527
Okay.

629
00:49:28,765 --> 00:49:31,256
Let's try again.

630
00:49:31,501 --> 00:49:35,835
Only this time, I'm gonna
stick my tongue in your mouth.

631
00:49:36,073 --> 00:49:40,635
And when I do that, I want you
to massage my tongue with yours.

632
00:49:40,844 --> 00:49:45,213
- And that's what first base is.
- Okay.

633
00:49:45,582 --> 00:49:47,209
Eyes closed.

634
00:50:12,642 --> 00:50:14,769
That was cool.

635
00:50:17,214 --> 00:50:18,738
Now...

636
00:50:18,982 --> 00:50:22,349
...have you ever eaten pussy before?

637
00:50:24,755 --> 00:50:27,656
You call this a party?!

638
00:50:27,891 --> 00:50:30,485
I'm a golden goddess!

639
00:50:30,727 --> 00:50:33,560
- Show us how drunk you are!
- Go for it!

640
00:50:40,037 --> 00:50:42,198
You're a unique rebel, Janey!

641
00:50:43,006 --> 00:50:44,803
Janey, are you all right?

642
00:50:45,742 --> 00:50:50,839
- I told you not to let me drink.
- I gave you a nonalcoholic beer.

643
00:50:55,352 --> 00:50:58,116
What the hell are you doing here?

644
00:50:58,355 --> 00:50:59,481
I was invited.

645
00:50:59,723 --> 00:51:04,490
Look, you may have lost those glasses
and that ponytail thing...

646
00:51:04,728 --> 00:51:07,697
...but you're still a loser.

647
00:51:13,437 --> 00:51:16,600
Look at that. Oh, my God.

648
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:19,035
That's going to stain.

649
00:51:24,181 --> 00:51:27,412
You're not going to cry now, are you?

650
00:52:08,925 --> 00:52:13,055
Look, you can't just start
a slow clap at any old time.

651
00:52:13,296 --> 00:52:19,064
- You gotta wait for the right moment.
- When is it the right moment?

652
00:52:21,838 --> 00:52:23,965
You'll know.

653
00:52:36,119 --> 00:52:38,246
Nobody's allowed down here.

654
00:52:38,955 --> 00:52:40,479
Janey, I just thought...

655
00:52:40,724 --> 00:52:44,057
How did you get in here?
I dead-bolted the door.

656
00:52:45,295 --> 00:52:47,490
There's a hole in the side
of your house.

657
00:52:53,537 --> 00:52:55,630
Who's that?

658
00:52:55,872 --> 00:52:59,069
- It's my mother.
- You have her eyes.

659
00:53:01,411 --> 00:53:03,879
She died when I was 6.

660
00:53:05,148 --> 00:53:07,013
I'm sorry.

661
00:53:07,250 --> 00:53:10,242
I remember it like it was yesterday.

662
00:53:10,487 --> 00:53:15,982
Christmas, 1989. Dad had been
fired from the zipper factory.

663
00:53:16,193 --> 00:53:19,253
Mom was pulling in tricks
to make ends meet.

664
00:53:19,496 --> 00:53:22,863
Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscar
for <i>My Left Foot.</i>

665
00:53:23,066 --> 00:53:26,365
And all I wanted was
a little Betsy Wetsy doll.

666
00:53:26,570 --> 00:53:31,735
I remember those. Push her belly,
she'd piss all over herself.

667
00:53:31,975 --> 00:53:36,002
She said she was going out
to get my dad a bottle of gin...

668
00:53:36,246 --> 00:53:39,977
...but I knew she was going
to get me that present.

669
00:53:40,217 --> 00:53:44,210
It was raining really hard
that night...

670
00:53:44,487 --> 00:53:47,183
...and the roads were slippery.

671
00:53:47,691 --> 00:53:50,990
Oh, God, Janey.
A car accident.

672
00:53:51,228 --> 00:53:53,389
No. Cancer.

673
00:53:57,100 --> 00:54:00,627
I had to take on
all of her responsibilities:

674
00:54:00,870 --> 00:54:04,328
Cooking and cleaning and
breast-feeding Mitch.

675
00:54:04,574 --> 00:54:07,737
It's in the past.
Think about your future.

676
00:54:07,978 --> 00:54:10,378
Look how talented you are.

677
00:54:10,614 --> 00:54:15,176
I have this dream of just hopping
on a plane and going to Paris.

678
00:54:15,418 --> 00:54:18,410
There's an art school,
but I can't afford it.

679
00:54:18,955 --> 00:54:23,153
Unless I raise $26,000
before the admissions cutoff.

680
00:54:23,393 --> 00:54:28,763
My parents give a scholarship to girls
who can't get into art school.

681
00:54:28,965 --> 00:54:30,899
Really? That's amazing.

682
00:54:31,101 --> 00:54:35,401
This year we gave it to Lupe,
the Mexican finger painter.

683
00:54:35,639 --> 00:54:37,698
I think you'd really like her work.

684
00:54:39,309 --> 00:54:42,972
Sometimes I wish my life
was a fairy tale...

685
00:54:43,213 --> 00:54:46,444
...and some guy would come
and take me away.

686
00:55:10,874 --> 00:55:12,535
- I was...
- Yeah, because we...

687
00:55:12,742 --> 00:55:16,735
- My eyes were shut.
- And we couldn't even...

688
00:55:24,521 --> 00:55:26,989
I'm gonna...

689
00:55:27,190 --> 00:55:29,750
- I'm going to go.
- Okay.

690
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:33,888
<i>Congratulations to the men and</i>
<i>women nominated for prom queen.</i>

691
00:55:38,468 --> 00:55:39,958
Janey!

692
00:55:40,170 --> 00:55:42,138
- Janey.
- What a nerd.

693
00:55:44,274 --> 00:55:46,037
Hi. Check it out.

694
00:55:46,242 --> 00:55:48,472
You have been nominated
for prom queen.

695
00:55:48,678 --> 00:55:50,908
- What?
- Yeah.

696
00:55:52,649 --> 00:55:54,947
- I can't believe it.
- Yeah.

697
00:55:55,151 --> 00:55:58,245
So do you have a date yet?

698
00:55:58,455 --> 00:56:01,117
No, nobody's asked me.

699
00:56:01,324 --> 00:56:04,350
Do you wanna go?

700
00:56:04,561 --> 00:56:07,394
Of course, if somebody asked me.

701
00:56:07,597 --> 00:56:10,259
Then I'm asking you right now.

702
00:56:10,467 --> 00:56:12,458
About what?

703
00:56:12,669 --> 00:56:14,534
The prom.

704
00:56:14,738 --> 00:56:17,229
Yeah, I know.
It's on Saturday, silly.

705
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:19,431
See you in English.

706
00:56:19,642 --> 00:56:21,337
Okay.

707
00:56:22,078 --> 00:56:24,205
I had a feeling
you were gonna say that.

708
00:56:35,725 --> 00:56:39,491
Think you'll be prom queen?
Well, think again, Janey.

709
00:56:39,696 --> 00:56:43,757
You put the "ass" in "embarrassment,"
the "boo" in "taboo."

710
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,992
And the "suck" in "liposuction."

711
00:56:50,607 --> 00:56:52,302
Is that the best you can do?

712
00:56:53,576 --> 00:56:55,271
No.

713
00:56:55,512 --> 00:56:58,572
You also put the "brat"
in "bratwurst."

714
00:56:58,782 --> 00:57:01,717
And the "eew" in "jujitsu."

715
00:57:01,918 --> 00:57:06,651
And the "ism" in "This is all
just a defense mechanism."

716
00:57:10,894 --> 00:57:15,524
So I told her, "Take the old lady and
send your mama back."

717
00:57:16,833 --> 00:57:21,497
So you asked your four-eyed
circus freak to the prom yet?

718
00:57:21,738 --> 00:57:23,797
- We resent that!
- We resent that!

719
00:57:25,442 --> 00:57:28,434
Why don't you just drop it, Austin.

720
00:57:28,711 --> 00:57:33,546
Jake made a few paint stains
in his pants thinking about Janey.

721
00:57:34,384 --> 00:57:37,353
It's just a bet. Okay, man?

722
00:57:37,821 --> 00:57:40,517
You always had a thing
for ugly girls...

723
00:57:40,757 --> 00:57:44,318
...Mr. l-Have-
a-Thing-for-Ugly-Girls.

724
00:57:46,729 --> 00:57:48,162
You mean Janey?

725
00:57:48,398 --> 00:57:51,959
She looks as good
as a dumpster full of gristles.

726
00:57:52,302 --> 00:57:54,736
Bling-bling.

727
00:57:56,306 --> 00:57:58,672
Janey Briggs...

728
00:57:58,908 --> 00:58:00,500
...is hot.

729
00:58:17,627 --> 00:58:20,425
- Hey, Janey.
- Hey, Jake.

730
00:58:20,663 --> 00:58:23,530
I've been doing a lot of thinking...

731
00:58:23,766 --> 00:58:28,533
...and there's something
I want to ask you.

732
00:58:28,771 --> 00:58:31,638
I don't want to make
a big deal of it...

733
00:58:31,875 --> 00:58:36,312
...so I'm just gonna lay it out there,
okay?

734
00:58:37,046 --> 00:58:38,980
Here it is.

735
00:58:41,117 --> 00:58:44,086
See, I don't like making big speeches.

736
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:48,017
I'm a straight shooter.
I call them like I see them.

737
00:58:48,458 --> 00:58:50,426
What you see is what you get.

738
00:58:51,127 --> 00:58:56,190
Ain't nobody gonna break my stride.
Ain't nobody gonna slow me down.

739
00:58:56,432 --> 00:58:59,731
Jake, are you trying
to ask me to the...?

740
00:58:59,969 --> 00:59:02,028
Yeah.

741
00:59:02,272 --> 00:59:04,331
I'd love to go with you.

742
00:59:09,078 --> 00:59:11,444
Great. Great.

743
00:59:14,517 --> 00:59:15,848
I'll see you in English.

744
00:59:16,185 --> 00:59:17,550
You...

745
00:59:19,756 --> 00:59:21,553
<i>It's Friday night, it's 8:00...</i>

746
00:59:21,758 --> 00:59:23,749
<i>... and that can only mean one thing.</i>

747
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:27,726
You guessed it. A new episode
of <i>Sabrina, the Teenage Witch</i>.

748
00:59:29,198 --> 00:59:31,223
<i>But if you're not a fan</i>
<i>of Melissa Joan Hart...</i>

749
00:59:31,434 --> 00:59:32,867
...and I'm not sure who isn't...

750
00:59:33,069 --> 00:59:35,037
...there's a state championship
to be played.

751
00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:41,367
All right. It's time to play some football!

752
00:59:41,578 --> 00:59:46,880
<i>The John Hughes Wasps take on</i>
<i>the North Compton Wildcats.</i>

753
01:00:04,767 --> 01:00:06,359
Goddamn!

754
01:00:13,876 --> 01:00:16,868
That's the fastest half
of football ever.

755
01:00:21,784 --> 01:00:25,515
We saw you at our practice.
I know you stole our routine.

756
01:00:25,755 --> 01:00:30,488
I don't know what you mean.
We do our own cheers. Right, girls?

757
01:00:30,727 --> 01:00:31,751
That's right.

758
01:00:31,961 --> 01:00:34,987
Well, then, you better bring it.

759
01:00:35,231 --> 01:00:37,495
Oh, it's already been broughten.

760
01:00:38,201 --> 01:00:40,499
Nice comeback, Priscilla! Yeah!

761
01:00:41,070 --> 01:00:44,062
<i>We are the North Compton Wildcats</i>

762
01:00:44,307 --> 01:00:45,865
<i>We're black, we know it</i>

763
01:00:46,075 --> 01:00:48,270
<i>We shake our booty and show it</i>

764
01:00:48,511 --> 01:00:50,308
<i>We ain't white</i>
<i>We ain't white</i>

765
01:00:50,513 --> 01:00:53,812
<i>We definitely ain't white</i>
<i>Break it down, nigga</i>

766
01:00:59,689 --> 01:01:02,487
Damn, those bitches represent!

767
01:01:10,466 --> 01:01:11,455
All right!

768
01:01:12,502 --> 01:01:14,629
- Reggie Ray.
- I smell a bet.

769
01:01:15,805 --> 01:01:17,238
You all right?

770
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:20,432
Coach says it's okay
to bleed from the ears.

771
01:01:25,848 --> 01:01:28,874
I got to go back out on the field.

772
01:01:30,319 --> 01:01:33,288
All right. Be careful.
You only have three...

773
01:01:34,257 --> 01:01:37,693
Two concussions left. Reggie Ray.

774
01:01:37,927 --> 01:01:39,554
And we're back.

775
01:01:41,364 --> 01:01:43,298
<i>Let's go, Wasps!</i>

776
01:01:44,067 --> 01:01:45,796
<i>Let's go, Wasps!</i>

777
01:01:46,769 --> 01:01:47,997
<i>Let's go, Wasps!</i>

778
01:01:49,939 --> 01:01:51,668
Blue 33! Set!

779
01:01:53,810 --> 01:01:55,573
That's defense right there.

780
01:01:56,879 --> 01:01:58,972
Say "good day" to Reggie Ray.

781
01:02:01,517 --> 01:02:04,543
Sit down. He got the wind
knocked out of him.

782
01:02:04,921 --> 01:02:08,254
- Come on, Reggie Ray, get up!
- Reggie Ray.

783
01:02:08,458 --> 01:02:10,722
You still have another concussion!

784
01:02:13,930 --> 01:02:14,897
Come on, dog!

785
01:02:15,765 --> 01:02:18,063
It doesn't look good, coach.

786
01:02:18,301 --> 01:02:20,326
- Can he play?
- He's in a coma.

787
01:02:20,570 --> 01:02:23,630
Answer my question! Can he play?

788
01:02:23,873 --> 01:02:26,740
He can't breathe.
Get him to a hospital.

789
01:02:26,976 --> 01:02:28,000
Listen right now!

790
01:02:28,344 --> 01:02:33,839
I don't care what you have to do!
He stays in the game, goddamn it!

791
01:02:35,151 --> 01:02:37,210
- Coach, I'm in love with you.
- Goddamn it!

792
01:02:37,420 --> 01:02:38,819
Fuck.

793
01:02:45,762 --> 01:02:48,629
Holy shit, this motherfucker's heavy.

794
01:02:49,165 --> 01:02:50,427
Blue 15!

795
01:02:53,269 --> 01:02:54,736
Set! Hut!

796
01:02:58,641 --> 01:03:00,734
Goddamn it, Reggie Ray!

797
01:03:01,811 --> 01:03:03,142
Shit.

798
01:03:22,398 --> 01:03:25,390
Wham, bam, what the fuck
just happened?

799
01:03:28,604 --> 01:03:33,405
Okay, Wyler, I've got no choice.
You're the only quarterback I've got.

800
01:03:34,744 --> 01:03:39,010
- <i>I say give the ball to Marty.</i>
- <i>I'm just happy being on the field.</i>

801
01:03:39,982 --> 01:03:44,419
- <i>You'll always wonder, "What if?"</i>
- <i>I'm a hero!</i>

802
01:03:46,322 --> 01:03:48,483
Goddamn it! Get in the game!

803
01:03:48,724 --> 01:03:50,316
You're our only chance!

804
01:03:51,761 --> 01:03:55,754
- You're a pussy, Wyler!
- Do it for Marty's torso!

805
01:03:59,435 --> 01:04:01,096
You got butterflies, huh?

806
01:04:01,504 --> 01:04:02,562
Who are you?

807
01:04:10,313 --> 01:04:11,507
I'm the wise janitor.

808
01:04:12,081 --> 01:04:15,209
I impart knowledge
and help overcome fears.

809
01:04:15,451 --> 01:04:17,612
I also replace the urinal cakes.

810
01:04:17,854 --> 01:04:20,482
I'm here to help you
get your throw back.

811
01:04:21,357 --> 01:04:23,325
- How did you...?
- I've been watching.

812
01:04:23,559 --> 01:04:28,087
During practice, in the hallways,
in the lockers, taking a shower...

813
01:04:28,331 --> 01:04:31,300
...whipping boys with a wet towel.

814
01:04:31,534 --> 01:04:36,062
- Can tell you kind of like that.
- Hey! Let's get back to the throw.

815
01:04:36,305 --> 01:04:39,069
What happened to Marty
wasn't your fault.

816
01:04:39,308 --> 01:04:40,275
Really?

817
01:04:40,476 --> 01:04:43,707
Okay, it was.
But you got to get over it.

818
01:04:43,913 --> 01:04:46,245
It could've happened to anybody.

819
01:04:46,482 --> 01:04:49,940
Anybody that disobeyed the coach
and the team...

820
01:04:50,152 --> 01:04:55,055
...and threw to a 90-pound kid
who shouldn't have been on the field.

821
01:04:55,258 --> 01:04:59,160
Stop! How is any of this
supposed to be helping me?

822
01:04:59,362 --> 01:05:01,353
Right. Forget what I said.

823
01:05:01,597 --> 01:05:06,296
You got to go out there, believe
in the ball and throw yourself.

824
01:05:06,702 --> 01:05:08,829
You can do it.

825
01:05:13,342 --> 01:05:15,503
I'm going out there.

826
01:05:21,817 --> 01:05:25,412
<i>Only 25 seconds remaining,</i>
<i>and the season...</i>

827
01:05:25,655 --> 01:05:29,921
<i>... rests in the hands of fourth-string</i>
<i>quarterback Jake Wyler.</i>

828
01:05:30,159 --> 01:05:33,219
<i>Translation: We're shit out of luck.</i>

829
01:05:33,663 --> 01:05:34,994
Give me a W!

830
01:05:35,998 --> 01:05:38,091
Give me a Y!

831
01:05:38,301 --> 01:05:41,532
Give me a...
Lick my pussy ass cock shit!

832
01:05:42,371 --> 01:05:44,931
Lick my pussy ass cock shit!

833
01:05:49,278 --> 01:05:50,404
Blue 83!

834
01:05:50,646 --> 01:05:52,910
- Blue 83!
- Reggie Ray?

835
01:05:53,149 --> 01:05:55,140
I reckon I'm feeling better.

836
01:05:55,384 --> 01:05:56,715
Set! Hut!

837
01:06:41,197 --> 01:06:42,323
Shit.

838
01:06:56,679 --> 01:07:01,139
That has to be the worst pass
I've ever seen, ever.

839
01:07:03,352 --> 01:07:05,320
What the hell was that?

840
01:07:33,516 --> 01:07:34,710
Jake?

841
01:07:37,386 --> 01:07:38,580
Jake.

842
01:07:40,489 --> 01:07:41,683
Hey.

843
01:07:42,291 --> 01:07:45,783
- You did great out there.
- I blew the game, Janey.

844
01:07:46,028 --> 01:07:47,427
I let everyone down.

845
01:07:47,663 --> 01:07:52,430
It's just a football game, Jake.
Besides...

846
01:07:53,669 --> 01:07:55,534
...you didn't let me down.

847
01:07:56,105 --> 01:07:57,299
Really?

848
01:07:58,741 --> 01:08:01,437
Jake, you've taught me to be myself.

849
01:08:01,677 --> 01:08:04,669
You never saw me as the girl
in glasses.

850
01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:07,439
Don't forget the paint-covered
overalls.

851
01:08:07,683 --> 01:08:10,379
Right, you never noticed those either.

852
01:08:11,420 --> 01:08:13,888
You taught me a lot about myself too.

853
01:08:14,423 --> 01:08:18,587
Oh, Jake. Nothing could
ever come between us now.

854
01:08:22,731 --> 01:08:24,926
Nothing could
ever come between us now.

855
01:08:25,134 --> 01:08:26,362
Jake Wyler.

856
01:08:28,170 --> 01:08:31,571
Congratulations.
You blew my perfect season.

857
01:08:31,807 --> 01:08:35,766
- Se�or You-Blew-My-Perfect-Season.
- What do you want, Austin?

858
01:08:36,011 --> 01:08:36,978
A life.

859
01:08:38,647 --> 01:08:40,114
And payback.

860
01:08:40,583 --> 01:08:43,746
- Come on, don't do this.
- No, I'll hang around.

861
01:08:43,986 --> 01:08:48,889
Maybe tell Janey a little
S-E-C-R-A-T-P...

862
01:08:52,361 --> 01:08:54,022
What's going on?

863
01:08:54,230 --> 01:08:55,959
Austin.

864
01:08:56,165 --> 01:08:57,257
This isn't funny!

865
01:08:58,834 --> 01:08:59,801
No.

866
01:09:01,270 --> 01:09:02,464
I don't believe it.

867
01:09:02,705 --> 01:09:07,369
I said I'd turn you into prom queen
when I thought you were ugly...

868
01:09:07,576 --> 01:09:13,014
...the girl with no friends who was
dirt poor and smelled a little funky.

869
01:09:13,249 --> 01:09:15,649
Look, I made a mistake.

870
01:09:15,885 --> 01:09:20,049
If I could go back, I never would've
made that stupid bet.

871
01:09:23,292 --> 01:09:25,351
What bet?

872
01:09:28,364 --> 01:09:31,822
I never said anything about a bet.

873
01:09:41,777 --> 01:09:42,937
All I said was:

874
01:09:43,179 --> 01:09:45,044
"I'm pretending to whisper...

875
01:09:45,281 --> 01:09:50,344
...so Jake thinks I'm telling you a
secret and will confess...

876
01:09:50,586 --> 01:09:56,024
...revealing a secret and confirming
everything I whispered in your ear."

877
01:10:21,984 --> 01:10:25,317
<i>I wish I didn't make that bet</i>

878
01:10:25,554 --> 01:10:29,149
<i>That's not the guy I want to be</i>

879
01:10:29,391 --> 01:10:32,827
<i>If I could just turn back the clock</i>

880
01:10:33,062 --> 01:10:37,965
<i>Then Janey would still be with me</i>

881
01:10:40,903 --> 01:10:43,997
<i>Tell me, Mom, what should I do?</i>

882
01:10:44,406 --> 01:10:45,873
<i>I love this boy</i>

883
01:10:46,108 --> 01:10:51,045
<i>But he has been untrue</i>

884
01:10:53,716 --> 01:10:56,810
<i>I'll do my best to make things right</i>

885
01:10:57,686 --> 01:11:01,315
<i>I wish we could resolve this fight</i>

886
01:11:02,191 --> 01:11:03,988
<i>It could happen</i>

887
01:11:04,226 --> 01:11:05,659
<i>It could happen</i>

888
01:11:05,894 --> 01:11:09,990
- <i>At the prom tonight</i>
- <i>At the prom tonight</i>

889
01:11:15,571 --> 01:11:18,506
<i>I'm getting pussy no matter what</i>

890
01:11:18,774 --> 01:11:21,504
<i>Even if it with dirty slut</i>

891
01:11:21,744 --> 01:11:24,338
<i>True love is what I want the most</i>

892
01:11:24,580 --> 01:11:28,107
<i>I just jerked off in your French toast</i>

893
01:11:28,717 --> 01:11:33,211
<i>So what if we have the same mother</i>

894
01:11:34,657 --> 01:11:39,720
<i>Tonight I'm gonna fuck my brother</i>

895
01:11:40,162 --> 01:11:42,926
<i>In a few hours</i>
<i>I'll be queen of the prom</i>

896
01:11:45,968 --> 01:11:49,529
<i>I've been an alcoholic</i>
<i>Since my first tour in Nam</i>

897
01:11:51,907 --> 01:11:55,707
<i>I asked Janey to the prom</i>
<i>And she doesn't know why</i>

898
01:11:58,013 --> 01:12:01,642
<i>I'm only in the song because</i>
<i>I'm a black guy</i>

899
01:12:05,020 --> 01:12:09,821
<i>I have no money</i>
<i>I have to make my own dress</i>

900
01:12:11,660 --> 01:12:16,654
<i>Look at me, my breasts are perky, yes</i>

901
01:12:17,466 --> 01:12:20,435
<i>I'm gonna win her back</i>
<i>No matter what it takes</i>

902
01:12:20,669 --> 01:12:25,299
<i>Here I go, I'm gonna</i>
<i>Forget about Jake</i>

903
01:12:28,711 --> 01:12:30,542
<i>Prom tonight</i>

904
01:12:32,581 --> 01:12:34,446
<i>Prom tonight</i>

905
01:12:35,984 --> 01:12:37,349
<i>Prom tonight</i>

906
01:12:42,825 --> 01:12:45,453
<i>It's gonna happen, gonna happen</i>

907
01:12:49,164 --> 01:12:53,624
<i>At the prom</i>

908
01:12:56,171 --> 01:12:57,160
<i>Tonight</i>

909
01:13:19,762 --> 01:13:20,888
Hi, Ricky.

910
01:13:21,096 --> 01:13:22,996
Thanks. See you in English.

911
01:13:23,198 --> 01:13:25,325
Oh, but we're graduated.

912
01:13:25,534 --> 01:13:28,162
All right, can you...? I'm not...
No, can you take it ba...?

913
01:13:28,370 --> 01:13:30,497
Can you please not...? All right.

914
01:13:40,349 --> 01:13:46,310
When I was a freshman,
I threw 176 touchdown passes.

915
01:13:46,655 --> 01:13:51,957
My sophomore year, I ran 14 in
on my own with a sprained ankle...

916
01:13:52,194 --> 01:13:56,494
...a broken phalange, a ruptured
duodenum and subdermal hematoma.

917
01:13:57,199 --> 01:13:59,190
When I was a junior,
I won the science fair...

918
01:13:59,401 --> 01:14:01,369
...for running a Volkswagen Bug
off a potato.

919
01:14:01,570 --> 01:14:08,203
Most recently, I was a star of the
Greco-Roman Wrestling Federation.

920
01:14:26,328 --> 01:14:28,558
I bet she great bonk.

921
01:14:28,797 --> 01:14:32,164
Excuse me, Bruce? No.
You don't bonk Amanda Becker.

922
01:14:32,768 --> 01:14:36,534
You make sweet, sweet love to her.

923
01:14:37,239 --> 01:14:39,469
Amanda Becker's like a flower.

924
01:14:40,108 --> 01:14:41,598
You smell her.

925
01:14:41,844 --> 01:14:43,778
You touch her gently.

926
01:14:44,313 --> 01:14:48,807
You admire the beauty.
You watch it blossom.

927
01:14:49,585 --> 01:14:53,954
And you thank God he created
something so perfect.

928
01:14:56,692 --> 01:14:58,159
Go to her.

929
01:15:10,772 --> 01:15:12,763
Be strong, Mitch!

930
01:15:25,888 --> 01:15:28,618
What do you expect from me?

931
01:15:29,291 --> 01:15:33,819
- Do you think I'll have sex with you?
- No! You don't understand.

932
01:15:34,062 --> 01:15:36,121
Because I am not a cheap slut.

933
01:15:36,365 --> 01:15:40,825
I don't screw every pathetic guy
that gives me a letter.

934
01:15:43,005 --> 01:15:45,599
I give them hand jobs.

935
01:15:53,215 --> 01:15:56,844
- Want to dance?
- Only if we're horizontal.

936
01:15:57,452 --> 01:16:00,046
I totally heard that.

937
01:16:13,368 --> 01:16:15,427
We're dancing.

938
01:16:36,758 --> 01:16:37,725
It's funny.

939
01:16:37,960 --> 01:16:41,987
You'd never suspect everyone
here is a professional dancer.

940
01:16:56,144 --> 01:16:57,475
Oh, God. No.

941
01:16:57,713 --> 01:16:59,806
I want to do it here
on the dance floor.

942
01:17:00,015 --> 01:17:01,141
Janey!

943
01:17:01,350 --> 01:17:05,150
Don't you forget our deal.
She wins, you're mine.

944
01:17:16,932 --> 01:17:21,028
And now the moment every
popular guy who's made a bet...

945
01:17:21,269 --> 01:17:25,831
...to turn a rebellious girl
into prom queen has been waiting for:

946
01:17:26,074 --> 01:17:29,373
The announcement
of the prom king and queen.

947
01:17:29,611 --> 01:17:32,102
This year's prom king is...

948
01:17:32,814 --> 01:17:33,803
Marty!

949
01:17:34,549 --> 01:17:36,847
...Jake Wyler!

950
01:17:51,199 --> 01:17:52,632
Way to go, Jake!

951
01:17:53,235 --> 01:17:56,136
This year's prom queen is...

952
01:17:56,338 --> 01:17:58,238
You got it, Priscilla!

953
01:17:58,440 --> 01:18:01,341
I don't believe it. It's a tie.

954
01:18:01,943 --> 01:18:02,910
A tie?

955
01:18:03,145 --> 01:18:04,772
- Holy shit!
- Oh, my God.

956
01:18:06,481 --> 01:18:08,745
Your new prom queens are...

957
01:18:10,218 --> 01:18:13,676
...Kara and Sara Fratelli.
- Fuck.

958
01:18:14,756 --> 01:18:18,556
- Oh, my God!
- They deserve it.

959
01:18:20,996 --> 01:18:22,293
Congratulations!

960
01:18:24,599 --> 01:18:28,296
There we go! Your king and queen.

961
01:18:34,543 --> 01:18:37,671
I say we make like a tree
and branch...

962
01:18:38,680 --> 01:18:40,671
...out of here.

963
01:18:42,084 --> 01:18:43,676
All right, Kara and Sara.

964
01:18:43,919 --> 01:18:47,548
Now it is traditional
for the king and queen...

965
01:18:47,756 --> 01:18:51,351
...to share a ceremonial dance.
- Come here.

966
01:18:52,694 --> 01:18:57,597
<i>Put your heads on my shoulder</i>

967
01:19:01,837 --> 01:19:03,429
You smell good.

968
01:19:17,018 --> 01:19:18,383
Janey!

969
01:19:23,125 --> 01:19:25,286
Do you know where Austin went?

970
01:19:25,527 --> 01:19:29,520
I know he rented a room at
the Sunrise Motel. Room number six.

971
01:19:29,765 --> 01:19:33,895
Past the ice dispenser. Hit the
Pepsi machine, you went too far.

972
01:19:34,136 --> 01:19:36,604
Oh, and the door will not be locked.

973
01:19:39,207 --> 01:19:40,538
That's all I know.

974
01:19:41,810 --> 01:19:43,038
Thanks, Malik.

975
01:19:45,413 --> 01:19:50,282
You're intelligent and insightful.
You don't get the respect you deserve.

976
01:19:52,988 --> 01:19:55,252
You really mean that, Jake?

977
01:19:55,457 --> 01:19:58,620
That's great! I've always wanted
to discuss...

978
01:19:58,827 --> 01:20:01,193
I actually got to go. Sorry.

979
01:20:01,429 --> 01:20:02,487
Motherfucker.

980
01:20:02,731 --> 01:20:04,562
Hold it right there, mister.

981
01:20:05,100 --> 01:20:10,299
I am not going to let you hurt Janey
again, okay? Besides, I love her.

982
01:20:10,505 --> 01:20:11,631
Well, so do I.

983
01:20:12,541 --> 01:20:17,205
But I'm the best friend, and I've
been in front of her the whole time...

984
01:20:17,445 --> 01:20:21,609
...and she just doesn't realize
it yet, but she will.

985
01:20:22,083 --> 01:20:25,575
I'm the cool guy who's learned
the error of his ways.

986
01:20:25,954 --> 01:20:29,253
She'll forgive my mistakes
and realize I love her.

987
01:20:31,059 --> 01:20:32,583
Damn it. That's true.

988
01:20:47,542 --> 01:20:50,773
Why's this door locked?
It's a fire hazard!

989
01:21:06,061 --> 01:21:08,086
Get out of the road!

990
01:21:08,330 --> 01:21:09,763
Hey, watch it, man!

991
01:21:10,999 --> 01:21:13,194
She's not attracted to you!

992
01:21:13,969 --> 01:21:15,630
She doesn't love you!

993
01:21:16,671 --> 01:21:19,162
You'll never be more than a friend!

994
01:21:20,208 --> 01:21:22,335
Two dollars!

995
01:21:31,419 --> 01:21:33,580
Ice dispenser.

996
01:21:33,822 --> 01:21:35,187
Six.

997
01:21:35,657 --> 01:21:39,684
Yeah! I'll make you forget all
about losing prom queen.

998
01:21:39,928 --> 01:21:43,386
Tell me who your daddy is!
Tell me who your papa is!

999
01:21:46,067 --> 01:21:48,297
Get off her, man!

1000
01:21:48,536 --> 01:21:49,662
Priscilla.

1001
01:21:49,871 --> 01:21:51,338
Don't move.

1002
01:21:56,211 --> 01:21:58,907
- What's going on?
- Something beautiful.

1003
01:21:59,948 --> 01:22:03,111
- Where's Janey?
- Miss Run-Home-to-My-Daddy...

1004
01:22:03,351 --> 01:22:06,081
...ran home to her daddy.

1005
01:22:07,055 --> 01:22:10,650
- That's for taking Janey to the prom.
- You put the...

1006
01:22:10,859 --> 01:22:15,626
- That's for hurting her at the party!
- This is really turning me on.

1007
01:22:16,097 --> 01:22:18,930
That's for being really weird.

1008
01:22:19,200 --> 01:22:20,667
Thank you.

1009
01:22:26,141 --> 01:22:28,575
I don't know what that was for.

1010
01:22:36,785 --> 01:22:40,778
- Oh, me so horny.
- Oh, me so horny.

1011
01:22:42,590 --> 01:22:46,959
You nerd who can't get pussy
from American girl?

1012
01:22:47,162 --> 01:22:49,255
You smart cookie. How you know?

1013
01:22:49,464 --> 01:22:51,056
I know.

1014
01:22:51,266 --> 01:22:55,930
You follow me,
I give you sucky-sucky.

1015
01:22:59,841 --> 01:23:02,605
Hey! What's everybody
standing around for?

1016
01:23:02,978 --> 01:23:05,378
Come on. Join the fun!

1017
01:23:07,615 --> 01:23:09,446
Watch me!

1018
01:23:10,552 --> 01:23:12,816
Get footloose everybody! Yeah!

1019
01:23:13,021 --> 01:23:15,888
One, two, three.
Come on, you can...

1020
01:23:16,524 --> 01:23:18,219
Kick him in the butt!

1021
01:23:24,165 --> 01:23:25,826
Hello.

1022
01:23:27,702 --> 01:23:28,896
Hi.

1023
01:23:30,271 --> 01:23:33,672
I never thought I'd hear myself
say this...

1024
01:23:34,109 --> 01:23:39,513
...but for once, I wish I could meet
a nice, sensitive guy...

1025
01:23:39,714 --> 01:23:42,547
...who wanted more than just sex.

1026
01:23:44,152 --> 01:23:46,848
That is very admirable.

1027
01:23:49,758 --> 01:23:52,420
I wish a guy would
take me out for dinner.

1028
01:23:53,061 --> 01:23:54,653
I feel the same way.

1029
01:23:56,865 --> 01:23:58,594
And for once...

1030
01:24:00,635 --> 01:24:04,833
...I wish a guy would take a dump
on my chest.

1031
01:24:06,941 --> 01:24:08,875
That is appalling.

1032
01:24:13,181 --> 01:24:15,149
That really upsets me.

1033
01:24:16,618 --> 01:24:20,679
I can't believe nobody's ever taken
a dump on your chest.

1034
01:24:24,359 --> 01:24:25,883
Will you be that guy?

1035
01:24:32,767 --> 01:24:36,259
It would be an honor and a privilege.

1036
01:24:46,848 --> 01:24:48,645
Janey!

1037
01:24:51,920 --> 01:24:52,978
Hello?

1038
01:24:53,922 --> 01:24:55,753
Is anybody home?

1039
01:24:56,324 --> 01:24:58,758
Get down! Enemy fire!

1040
01:25:00,128 --> 01:25:01,789
Mr. Briggs?

1041
01:25:02,030 --> 01:25:05,022
Excuse me, sir.
Do you know where Janey is?

1042
01:25:05,266 --> 01:25:09,726
She went out there. On her own.
There's Charlie everywhere.

1043
01:25:10,271 --> 01:25:12,603
Right. Do you know where she went?

1044
01:25:13,007 --> 01:25:15,635
Couldn't take it. Went to the airport.

1045
01:25:15,877 --> 01:25:20,576
Something about Paris.
Her tour was over.

1046
01:25:20,882 --> 01:25:22,975
Paris. Thank you, sir.

1047
01:25:23,551 --> 01:25:27,112
I need ammo! I can't hold them off
much longer!

1048
01:25:34,996 --> 01:25:36,987
She's not here.

1049
01:25:37,198 --> 01:25:39,393
Went to the airport.

1050
01:25:40,535 --> 01:25:41,968
Thanks.

1051
01:25:42,170 --> 01:25:43,797
You're welcome.

1052
01:25:50,345 --> 01:25:53,337
Off the road, you glasses
and ponytail freak!

1053
01:26:06,661 --> 01:26:07,889
Two dollars!

1054
01:26:08,096 --> 01:26:10,189
- Two dollars!
- Two dollars!

1055
01:26:16,638 --> 01:26:18,731
<i>Next stop, airport.</i>

1056
01:26:19,007 --> 01:26:23,569
<i>The red zone is for the loading</i>
<i>and unloading of passengers.</i>

1057
01:26:23,811 --> 01:26:25,210
<i>No parking.</i>

1058
01:26:25,446 --> 01:26:26,674
<i>Attention, please.</i>

1059
01:26:26,915 --> 01:26:32,217
<i>All red Porsche 944s parked in the</i>
<i>white zone will be towed immediately.</i>

1060
01:26:37,559 --> 01:26:41,051
<i>Paris Air, flight 805 to art school</i>
<i>in Paris...</i>

1061
01:26:41,296 --> 01:26:43,526
<i>... from gate 122, is now boarding.</i>

1062
01:26:57,011 --> 01:26:59,343
Excuse me, everyone!

1063
01:26:59,981 --> 01:27:04,145
There's a girl boarding a plane
right now to Paris that I love.

1064
01:27:05,820 --> 01:27:09,381
If I don't get there in time and
tell her how I feel...

1065
01:27:09,624 --> 01:27:12,218
...I may never see her again.

1066
01:27:16,164 --> 01:27:17,256
Go get her, son.

1067
01:27:18,333 --> 01:27:19,664
Good luck, young man.

1068
01:27:22,170 --> 01:27:23,831
- Go get her!
- Go for it.

1069
01:27:26,507 --> 01:27:27,838
Oh, hell, just go.

1070
01:27:30,678 --> 01:27:31,736
Freeze, bitch!

1071
01:27:42,690 --> 01:27:45,158
You're bleeding on my suitcase.

1072
01:27:51,466 --> 01:27:52,433
Excuse me!

1073
01:27:53,534 --> 01:27:54,933
Excuse me, everyone!

1074
01:27:55,503 --> 01:28:00,964
There's a girl about to board a plane
to Paris right now that I love...

1075
01:28:01,175 --> 01:28:04,770
We already heard that one. Asshole.

1076
01:28:06,614 --> 01:28:11,551
<i>This is the final call for Paris Air</i>
<i>flight 805 to art school...</i>

1077
01:28:11,786 --> 01:28:14,050
<i>... departing from gate 122.</i>

1078
01:28:14,255 --> 01:28:15,813
Janey!

1079
01:28:16,958 --> 01:28:19,153
Hey, shithead, that's mine.

1080
01:28:19,394 --> 01:28:20,691
Give it back!

1081
01:28:21,062 --> 01:28:25,294
Just believe in the ball, Jake.
And throw yourself.

1082
01:28:26,167 --> 01:28:27,361
Yeah.

1083
01:28:36,944 --> 01:28:37,911
Yes!

1084
01:28:38,112 --> 01:28:39,511
Nice shot, Jake.

1085
01:28:42,050 --> 01:28:43,210
- Jake?
- Janey.

1086
01:28:43,418 --> 01:28:45,818
Thank God I got to you in time.
Listen to me.

1087
01:28:46,254 --> 01:28:48,484
I'm not going to let you go to Paris.

1088
01:28:49,123 --> 01:28:51,853
- <i>This is the final call...</i>
- Why not?

1089
01:28:52,093 --> 01:28:54,254
<i>... for flight 805 to art school.</i>

1090
01:28:54,495 --> 01:29:00,161
<i>If you're finding words to stop a girl</i>
<i>from leaving, now would be the time.</i>

1091
01:29:00,368 --> 01:29:01,960
Janey...

1092
01:29:03,404 --> 01:29:07,101
...I made that bet before I knew you.

1093
01:29:08,576 --> 01:29:10,703
Before I really knew me.

1094
01:29:12,647 --> 01:29:13,807
Oh, Jake.

1095
01:29:15,850 --> 01:29:17,681
<i>Okay, hold it right there.</i>

1096
01:29:21,856 --> 01:29:25,087
Tell me you didn't quote
Freddie Prinze Jr.

1097
01:29:27,028 --> 01:29:30,794
I knew it. That was a line
from <i>She's All That.</i>

1098
01:29:31,032 --> 01:29:33,592
I masturbate to that movie.

1099
01:29:36,904 --> 01:29:37,893
Do you mind?

1100
01:29:38,139 --> 01:29:41,131
No, not at all.
Masturbation's very healthy.

1101
01:29:41,342 --> 01:29:42,934
No, stay out of it.

1102
01:29:43,144 --> 01:29:45,271
Oh, I'm sorry.
I just had to say something.

1103
01:29:45,480 --> 01:29:47,448
I couldn't help myself. Go on.

1104
01:29:47,648 --> 01:29:49,138
Thank you.

1105
01:29:49,951 --> 01:29:55,082
Janey, you said you couldn't believe
in someone that didn't believe in you.

1106
01:29:55,323 --> 01:29:59,316
Well, I believed in you.
I always believed in you.

1107
01:30:00,528 --> 01:30:01,688
Oh, Jake.

1108
01:30:02,530 --> 01:30:06,330
<i>Oh, God. I can't believe</i>
<i>you fell for that crap.</i>

1109
01:30:06,534 --> 01:30:09,059
- That's <i>Pretty in Pink.</i>
- Are you sure?

1110
01:30:09,771 --> 01:30:10,965
Trust me.

1111
01:30:11,172 --> 01:30:16,474
- Excuse me. What are you doing?
- Let me give you some advice, Jake.

1112
01:30:16,677 --> 01:30:20,579
Lose the I'm-the-cute-and-sensitive-
popular-boy routine.

1113
01:30:20,782 --> 01:30:21,840
It's pathetic.

1114
01:30:22,049 --> 01:30:25,314
And tell Janey
what's true in your heart.

1115
01:30:25,520 --> 01:30:27,317
Stop being such a little bitch.

1116
01:30:29,023 --> 01:30:30,251
But I was just trying to...

1117
01:30:30,458 --> 01:30:33,256
Don't even use that eyebrow move
on me. It's not gonna work.

1118
01:30:33,461 --> 01:30:34,951
You do overuse that move.

1119
01:30:35,163 --> 01:30:36,562
And you.

1120
01:30:36,764 --> 01:30:40,495
Miss Other-Side-of-the-Tracks-
Awkward-Rebel-With-Glasses.

1121
01:30:40,902 --> 01:30:45,396
Wise up to Jake's bullshit.
Stop being such a dumb-ass.

1122
01:30:48,910 --> 01:30:50,309
She's right.

1123
01:30:51,012 --> 01:30:53,207
- Janey...
- Yes, Jake?

1124
01:30:55,917 --> 01:30:59,409
Maybe you should get on that plane
and go to Paris.

1125
01:31:00,855 --> 01:31:04,518
Well, if you stay,
we really only have the summer.

1126
01:31:04,759 --> 01:31:09,025
Then I go to college. We'll spend
the occasional weekend together.

1127
01:31:09,230 --> 01:31:10,959
Which is nice.

1128
01:31:11,165 --> 01:31:15,659
But chances are, one night I'll get
wrecked and have sex with some girl.

1129
01:31:15,903 --> 01:31:17,803
You'll call me a slut.

1130
01:31:18,072 --> 01:31:21,303
I'll call you a cock-tease,
and we'll break up.

1131
01:31:21,509 --> 01:31:25,275
So when you really think about it,
what's the point?

1132
01:31:28,282 --> 01:31:34,619
Well, that wasn't exactly the kind
of truth I was expecting.

1133
01:31:35,756 --> 01:31:39,988
But I'm not gonna fall for it. How big
a dumb-ass do you think I am?

1134
01:31:40,728 --> 01:31:43,822
You obviously stole that
from <i>Karate Kid.</i>

1135
01:31:44,031 --> 01:31:45,828
No, actually, l...

1136
01:31:46,467 --> 01:31:49,402
Jake, it's okay.

1137
01:31:49,604 --> 01:31:51,265
I love you too.

1138
01:31:51,472 --> 01:31:53,269
We all know where this is going.

1139
01:31:53,474 --> 01:31:56,034
Fucking teenagers.

1140
01:32:05,620 --> 01:32:06,814
This is it.

1141
01:32:07,054 --> 01:32:08,521
The right moment.

1142
01:32:23,838 --> 01:32:25,328
Son of a bitch!

1143
01:32:42,056 --> 01:32:45,492
Well, Mitch, I learned
a very valuable lesson.

1144
01:32:45,693 --> 01:32:48,628
I realized that I don't really wanna
get involved with a girl...

1145
01:32:48,829 --> 01:32:50,729
...unless I'm really in love with her.

1146
01:32:52,266 --> 01:32:53,699
Yeah.

1147
01:32:55,002 --> 01:32:58,028
Nice try, Ox.
We know you took it in the ass.

1148
01:32:59,807 --> 01:33:03,334
Believe it or not,
I, too, learned a valuable lesson.

1149
01:33:03,544 --> 01:33:05,774
Bruce, your accent.
What happened?

1150
01:33:05,980 --> 01:33:08,608
You see, I realized
that the best way to get the girl...

1151
01:33:08,816 --> 01:33:10,408
...is to just be yourself.

1152
01:33:10,618 --> 01:33:14,645
For most people that would be
a very valuable lesson.

1153
01:33:14,855 --> 01:33:17,756
But in your case,
I'd stick to being Chinese.

1154
01:33:17,959 --> 01:33:19,290
Japanese.

1155
01:33:19,493 --> 01:33:20,983
So what'd you learn
last night?

1156
01:33:21,429 --> 01:33:24,592
Gentlemen, I learned
the greatest lesson of all.

1157
01:33:24,799 --> 01:33:27,233
That unlike everyone else
in these teen movies...

1158
01:33:27,435 --> 01:33:30,427
...I don't wanna learn
some dumb-ass valuable lesson.

1159
01:33:30,638 --> 01:33:32,071
I still wanna fuck!

1160
01:33:32,273 --> 01:33:34,400
- Hey.
- All right.

1161
01:39:33,834 --> 01:39:35,358
Ready?

1162
01:39:35,569 --> 01:39:37,560
And action!

1163
01:39:37,771 --> 01:39:39,796
Come on, Austin.

1164
01:39:41,175 --> 01:39:42,574
Holy shit!

1165
01:39:42,776 --> 01:39:45,074
I'm a fucking god!