1 00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:34,755 Eighty-six years of banging our heads against the big green wall... 2 00:00:34,896 --> 00:00:36,759 but we finally did it. 3 00:00:36,896 --> 00:00:40,328 That part you know. That part everybody knows. 4 00:00:40,463 --> 00:00:43,156 But I got a story you don't know. 5 00:00:43,296 --> 00:00:46,625 It's about this schoolteacher friend of mine named Ben. 6 00:00:46,763 --> 00:00:50,855 This is him, back in 1980, when he was a kid. 7 00:00:51,030 --> 00:00:53,894 The little guy was going through a tough time. 8 00:00:54,030 --> 00:00:57,689 His parents had just got divorced, and his mom dragged him up here to Boston... 9 00:00:57,830 --> 00:00:59,693 where he didn't know nobody. 10 00:00:59,830 --> 00:01:03,193 One day Ben's mom says, "Enough mopin 'around, " 11 00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:06,126 and she calls her brother Carl to take him somewhere... 12 00:01:06,264 --> 00:01:10,094 anywhere, just to get the kid out of the house. 13 00:01:10,231 --> 00:01:12,628 Uncle Carl didn't have any children of his own... 14 00:01:12,764 --> 00:01:16,196 so he wasn't exactly what you�d call "kid sawy. " 15 00:01:16,331 --> 00:01:19,229 I'm not gonna have to change him or anything, am I? 16 00:01:19,364 --> 00:01:23,194 Carl, look at him. He's seven, you dope. Come here. 17 00:01:23,332 --> 00:01:26,321 Carl wasn't the kind of uncle who was gonna take you to the circus... 18 00:01:26,499 --> 00:01:28,862 or the zoo or a puppet show... 19 00:01:28,998 --> 00:01:32,055 but he did know the greatest place to bring any kid- 20 00:01:32,232 --> 00:01:35,994 The heart and soul of Boston, Fenway Park. 21 00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:51,192 That was also the day I met Ben. 22 00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:56,163 The pretty boy with the glasses? That's me, Al Waterman. I sell sponges. 23 00:01:56,299 --> 00:01:58,162 Now that's the Green Monster, kid. 24 00:01:58,333 --> 00:01:59,889 - Monster? - Yep. 25 00:02:00,066 --> 00:02:02,190 I taught the boy what I knew about the game... 26 00:02:02,366 --> 00:02:04,229 and Carl taught him what he knew. 27 00:02:04,366 --> 00:02:08,321 Hey, Zimmer, you idiot, what are you batting this bum leadoff for? 28 00:02:09,933 --> 00:02:13,763 Dwight Evans parked a couple homers, the Sox won... 29 00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:18,457 and by day's end, poor Ben had become one of God�s most pathetic creatures- 30 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,463 - a Red Sox fan. - Wow! 31 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,827 And that's where the story begins. 32 00:02:23,967 --> 00:02:29,263 Careful, kid. They'll break your heart. 33 00:02:59,568 --> 00:03:03,193 You could have gone over right there. Come on, you gotta be aggressive, man. 34 00:03:03,335 --> 00:03:06,130 - Take off the training wheels. - Hey, I got a crowbar under the seat, okay? 35 00:03:06,301 --> 00:03:08,164 So don't make me knock your teeth out. 36 00:03:08,301 --> 00:03:10,164 What are you doing? 37 00:03:10,301 --> 00:03:12,630 Audrey and Tammy, are you guys talking to each other on the phone? 38 00:03:12,768 --> 00:03:14,892 We're conferencing Amanda. She's home sick. 39 00:03:15,035 --> 00:03:17,899 Amanda likes that song, Mr. Wrightman. 40 00:03:18,035 --> 00:03:20,296 Can you turn it up, please? 41 00:03:30,536 --> 00:03:33,660 Okay, so I asked for no ham, double turkey, but it looks like they gave me double ham. 42 00:03:33,803 --> 00:03:36,962 - Do you want me to go back? - Uh, no. Just toss some of it in my mouth. 43 00:03:37,102 --> 00:03:39,192 - And that teacher's here with those kids. - What? 44 00:03:39,369 --> 00:03:41,664 That teacher you talked to on the phone, about coming in, having a tour. 45 00:03:41,803 --> 00:03:43,666 Oh, oh, God, that's today? 46 00:03:43,803 --> 00:03:46,200 - They're here. - Oh, no. 47 00:03:46,337 --> 00:03:50,928 Okay, uh, just pretend that you�re me and take them around and- Hi. 48 00:03:51,070 --> 00:03:54,059 - There they are. - Ben Wrightman. We talked on the phone. 49 00:03:54,203 --> 00:03:57,828 - Nice to meet you. - Yes, yes, I've been waiting for you. 50 00:03:57,970 --> 00:03:59,833 Hi, I'm Lindsey Meeks. 51 00:03:59,970 --> 00:04:02,231 Excuse me. 52 00:04:02,370 --> 00:04:04,233 Can I get anyone something to drink? 53 00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:07,029 Vodka martini, straight up. Three olives, please. 54 00:04:07,170 --> 00:04:09,033 Hey, I asked you to behave. 55 00:04:09,171 --> 00:04:11,194 Uh, are you allowed to hit them? 56 00:04:11,370 --> 00:04:13,995 Yeah, actually. Do you wanna take a swipe at him? 57 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,034 I'll hold him if you want. 58 00:04:16,171 --> 00:04:19,967 - Maybe later. - Uh, okay. As I said on the phone, Lindsey... 59 00:04:20,104 --> 00:04:22,296 I teach honors geometry, ninth grade. 60 00:04:22,438 --> 00:04:25,302 And every year I pick a few promising math students... 61 00:04:25,438 --> 00:04:27,903 to meet someone who's pursued mathematics as an educational discipline... 62 00:04:28,037 --> 00:04:31,161 and has made practical use of that education. 63 00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:33,462 So, thanks for having us. 64 00:04:35,204 --> 00:04:37,067 All right, the client I'm working for right now... 65 00:04:37,204 --> 00:04:39,431 is this really cool company called Marquis Jet... 66 00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:43,094 and they�re trying to figure out how to make renting private jets more affordable. 67 00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:46,228 Wow. Now that's the way to go. 68 00:04:46,405 --> 00:04:48,337 Yeah, and they're growing like crazy... 69 00:04:48,472 --> 00:04:50,562 so they'd have to buy more jets in order to meet the demands. 70 00:04:50,738 --> 00:04:52,828 Now let me ask you guys a crazy question. 71 00:04:52,972 --> 00:04:55,233 Are any of you in the habit of looking at numbers- 72 00:04:55,372 --> 00:04:58,929 You know, addresses, license plates, phone numbers- and adding them up... 73 00:04:59,072 --> 00:05:02,595 and rearranging them in your head to make more interesting patterns? 74 00:05:02,739 --> 00:05:07,103 Oh, my God, she knows my secret shame. 75 00:05:07,239 --> 00:05:11,762 Well, step into the light, my friend, because this is the church of numbers... 76 00:05:11,906 --> 00:05:13,838 and every day is Sunday. 77 00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:19,106 - She was a major hottie. - Major? 78 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:22,172 - Colonel hottie. - Yeah, she went optic for you, Mr. Wrightman. 79 00:05:22,306 --> 00:05:25,272 - Optic? - Yeah, I saw her glance to the pants. 80 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,803 - No way. - Yeah. - What do you mean? 81 00:05:27,939 --> 00:05:31,427 - I mean she was totally- - No, no, not you. You. What did you mean? 82 00:05:31,573 --> 00:05:34,596 Nothin', you know. 83 00:05:34,740 --> 00:05:37,331 Well, come on, man. You saw her. 84 00:05:37,473 --> 00:05:41,768 What? Wait. Are you saying that she's out of my league? 85 00:05:41,907 --> 00:05:45,703 She is bringing some serious heat, man. I don't know if you got the bat speed. 86 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:50,602 Oh, I got the bat speed. I got plenty of bat speed. I could hit her best cheese. 87 00:05:51,007 --> 00:05:54,598 Ezra, I need those customer satisfaction data reports. 88 00:05:54,774 --> 00:05:57,706 - I put them on your desk, Lindsey. - Good lad. Keep me posted. 89 00:05:57,875 --> 00:06:00,534 You got it. 90 00:06:00,674 --> 00:06:02,901 - Those kids were cute. - Which kids? 91 00:06:03,041 --> 00:06:06,098 - The ones from earlier today. - Oh. Yeah. 92 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:09,604 Maybe I should become a teacher or a college professor, you know. 93 00:06:09,741 --> 00:06:13,434 The hours would be better. You get summers free. It's so much less competitive. 94 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:16,563 - Oh, my God, Jack is leaving. - What? 95 00:06:16,708 --> 00:06:18,571 Jack is leaving the company next summer. 96 00:06:21,308 --> 00:06:24,740 What that- So, do you think they're gonna bring someone in from the outside? 97 00:06:24,908 --> 00:06:28,533 - I have- I don't know. - Or do you think they're gonna promote from within? 98 00:06:28,709 --> 00:06:30,572 I thought you were becoming a teacher. 99 00:06:30,709 --> 00:06:34,607 Low blood sugar. I didn't eat yet. 100 00:06:34,742 --> 00:06:36,332 Hi. 101 00:06:36,475 --> 00:06:38,565 Hi. I didn't wanna interrupt. 102 00:06:38,709 --> 00:06:42,141 It sounded like you were involved with some major corporate hoo-ha. 103 00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:44,764 Oh, well, there's a position about to open up... 104 00:06:44,909 --> 00:06:47,568 so it might get mildly murderous around here. 105 00:06:47,709 --> 00:06:50,231 Oh. Wha-Wha-Wha- I want your job! I'm the boss! 106 00:06:50,376 --> 00:06:52,239 Wha-Wha- 107 00:06:52,376 --> 00:06:57,172 Yes. So, um- 108 00:06:57,309 --> 00:07:01,071 Why am I here? Um- 109 00:07:01,243 --> 00:07:04,936 I just wanted you to know that you really got through to the kids today. 110 00:07:05,077 --> 00:07:06,940 You know, they're really juiced. 111 00:07:07,077 --> 00:07:10,134 Oh, thanks. They were- They were great. 112 00:07:10,277 --> 00:07:13,300 Well, you're welcome. Thank you. 113 00:07:16,810 --> 00:07:21,037 So, is the conversation over? 114 00:07:21,177 --> 00:07:23,040 You mean 'cause neither of us are speaking? 115 00:07:23,177 --> 00:07:25,267 Yeah. 116 00:07:25,410 --> 00:07:28,308 No. Yeah, I also- I came back because I just- 117 00:07:28,444 --> 00:07:32,376 I wanted to ask you if I could ask you out sometime. 118 00:07:32,544 --> 00:07:34,975 Socially. 119 00:07:35,111 --> 00:07:37,975 I won't be bringing the kids. 120 00:07:38,111 --> 00:07:39,974 Oh! 121 00:07:41,777 --> 00:07:43,969 Uh- 122 00:07:44,111 --> 00:07:45,974 - Hike. - Get him! Get him! 123 00:07:49,578 --> 00:07:52,601 - Oh! - All right, good "D." Good "D." 124 00:07:55,745 --> 00:07:58,677 I know why she wouldn't go out with me. She thinks I'm not in her class. 125 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:02,505 - She said that? - No. I could see it on her face. 126 00:08:02,645 --> 00:08:05,167 - "Like I would really date a schoolteacher. " - Ouch. 127 00:08:05,345 --> 00:08:08,334 Down, set, hike. 128 00:08:13,412 --> 00:08:15,775 Yeah, go, go, go! 129 00:08:18,412 --> 00:08:22,105 Ben, what are you doing? It's two-hand touch. You were down back there. 130 00:08:22,246 --> 00:08:24,235 And back there and back there. 131 00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:27,072 What's the matter with you? 132 00:08:27,212 --> 00:08:29,144 Come on, guys. 133 00:08:29,279 --> 00:08:32,302 Sorry. Sorry, guys. 134 00:08:36,013 --> 00:08:38,342 All right, Lindsey, so what's the matter with this one? 135 00:08:38,513 --> 00:08:41,104 He's not smart? He's not attractive? 136 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:44,246 He was. It's just, you know- 137 00:08:44,413 --> 00:08:49,209 - I don't know. It's hopeless. - Oh, boy, here we go. 138 00:08:49,347 --> 00:08:52,870 You're right, I'm an idiot. I'm about to turn 20-10... 139 00:08:53,013 --> 00:08:56,070 and the dating market is, shall we say, bearish. 140 00:08:56,213 --> 00:09:00,736 And instead of becoming more open and available, I'm becoming less open. 141 00:09:00,881 --> 00:09:03,711 Come on, people. Talking isn't burning calories. 142 00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:06,176 Let's go. Start pedaling. Come on. 143 00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:18,203 Maybe you should date a different kind of guy. 144 00:09:18,381 --> 00:09:20,244 Why? What do you mean? 145 00:09:20,381 --> 00:09:25,245 Well, all the guys you date are sharp and competitive and successful. 146 00:09:25,381 --> 00:09:27,778 - It's like you�re dating yourself. - Ding, ding, ding. 147 00:09:28,982 --> 00:09:31,539 Wh-What's wrong with the schoolteacher? 148 00:09:31,681 --> 00:09:35,010 - Well- - He's a schoolteacher. 149 00:09:35,149 --> 00:09:38,706 Which means he has a small... income. 150 00:09:38,848 --> 00:09:43,280 All right, people, let's shut your piehole and speed it back up. Come on! 151 00:09:43,415 --> 00:09:48,541 - Come on! - Die, you Nazi spin-bitch. 152 00:09:53,883 --> 00:09:58,212 Hey! Go, run a post. Go! 153 00:09:59,716 --> 00:10:01,272 Oh! 154 00:10:01,415 --> 00:10:03,404 Who did that? 155 00:10:03,549 --> 00:10:06,606 That's it. You're coming with me, mister. 156 00:10:06,749 --> 00:10:08,976 What do you think, this is your own private playground? 157 00:10:09,116 --> 00:10:10,979 Get in here. 158 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,073 Thanks, man. I owe you one. 159 00:10:20,283 --> 00:10:22,146 Go ahead. 160 00:10:26,750 --> 00:10:29,545 Hey, Ben, are you going to watch the Celtics later? 161 00:10:29,683 --> 00:10:31,740 Uh, I don't know. 162 00:10:31,884 --> 00:10:35,008 You know, there are other sports besides baseball. 163 00:10:35,151 --> 00:10:38,844 I would debate you, Ed, but that would only lead to me being dragged away in handcuffs. 164 00:10:38,984 --> 00:10:42,575 Hey, speaking of baseball, Ben, wanna help me coach the J. V. team this year? 165 00:10:42,718 --> 00:10:46,480 Why? You're doing a great job. I mean, you can�t just go by wins and losses. 166 00:10:46,618 --> 00:10:48,516 Aw, come on, Ben. The kids listen to you. 167 00:10:48,651 --> 00:10:51,242 I think it's going good the way it is, you know? 168 00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,280 You coach the team, and I help out whenever I can. 169 00:10:53,417 --> 00:10:56,871 Then, if I don't make it or- 170 00:10:57,051 --> 00:10:59,812 Hey, Rita, when did I get this message from Lindsey Meeks? 171 00:10:59,951 --> 00:11:04,474 A tip might be where it says "Time Called: 2:30." 172 00:11:06,985 --> 00:11:10,042 Come on, pull! 173 00:11:10,185 --> 00:11:12,844 So, do you think it'll be a problem that you�re more successful than him? 174 00:11:12,985 --> 00:11:16,678 - Who says I am? - Well, I mean, at least financially. 175 00:11:16,819 --> 00:11:20,251 It's not like he's playing a flute with a hatful of dollar bills in front of him. 176 00:11:20,385 --> 00:11:23,578 - He's a teacher. - Teaching's a cool thing. 177 00:11:23,719 --> 00:11:26,843 Yeah. Besides, why does everything in my life have to be a trophy? 178 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:29,951 - I mean, who am I trying to impress? - Hey, we're on your side. 179 00:11:30,119 --> 00:11:32,914 No, I know. It's just that I hate when people- 180 00:11:33,052 --> 00:11:35,779 - Ow! - Oopsie. 181 00:11:50,987 --> 00:11:55,510 Oh, just kill me. Just take a hammer and kill me. 182 00:12:02,187 --> 00:12:06,812 Oh, shit. Who is it? 183 00:12:06,953 --> 00:12:09,384 I -It's me. It's Ben. Your date? 184 00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:12,281 Oh, God, no. 185 00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:14,409 Oh. 186 00:12:17,154 --> 00:12:21,052 I'm sick. Come back. I'll call you tomorrow. Go away. 187 00:12:21,187 --> 00:12:23,448 Wait, wait, wait. What kind of sick? You okay? You in pain? 188 00:12:23,587 --> 00:12:28,110 I- ate at this new place. 189 00:12:28,255 --> 00:12:30,312 I think- 190 00:12:36,988 --> 00:12:39,317 Are you faking it? 'Cause we don't have to really do this if you don't- 191 00:12:48,055 --> 00:12:49,918 Mommy. 192 00:12:53,321 --> 00:12:55,411 Ernie, go away. 193 00:12:55,555 --> 00:12:57,952 Ernie, don't eat that! 194 00:12:58,089 --> 00:13:00,680 Oh, shit. 195 00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:04,379 Uh- 196 00:13:04,523 --> 00:13:06,546 So, you wanna pull the plug on this thing or- 197 00:13:14,089 --> 00:13:17,521 All right, here we go. Come on. 198 00:13:17,656 --> 00:13:19,780 All right, we're almost there. 199 00:13:19,923 --> 00:13:22,684 Okay. Okay. 200 00:13:22,823 --> 00:13:25,414 Now sit right here. Oh, God! 201 00:13:25,556 --> 00:13:28,317 All right. Okay. Here. Pick your head up. 202 00:13:28,457 --> 00:13:30,752 Up. Okay, up. 203 00:13:32,423 --> 00:13:35,287 Uh, all right. Um- 204 00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:38,253 Do you have any, like, pajamas or a nightgown? 205 00:13:38,423 --> 00:13:40,854 In the top drawer. 206 00:13:41,023 --> 00:13:43,614 Top drawer. Okay. 207 00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:46,312 All right, here we go. 208 00:13:46,490 --> 00:13:49,819 Well, Wonder Woman�s been looking for these. 209 00:13:49,957 --> 00:13:51,820 I gotta call her. Let her know they're here. 210 00:13:54,624 --> 00:13:59,079 - Okay. All right. I'll help you up. - Mm-mm. 211 00:13:59,224 --> 00:14:01,951 - Get up. - I'm sorry about this. 212 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:05,352 - Don't worry. Come on. Come on. - I'm so sorry. 213 00:14:05,491 --> 00:14:07,956 I'm gonna help you change, all right? I won't look. I promise. 214 00:14:08,091 --> 00:14:10,181 - Uh-huh. - Okay. 215 00:14:15,224 --> 00:14:18,156 Okay, I looked. 216 00:14:20,558 --> 00:14:22,547 Let's get this on. 217 00:14:24,958 --> 00:14:27,048 Get your arms through. 218 00:14:34,259 --> 00:14:38,418 Okay, here we go. You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. 219 00:14:38,559 --> 00:14:40,683 There's nothing left to throw up, I promise. 220 00:14:40,826 --> 00:14:45,690 And if you do, here's Mr. Hamper. Okay? All right. 221 00:14:58,527 --> 00:15:01,118 Here. Drink this when you feel like you can, okay? 222 00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:03,555 - Thank you. Thank you, Bill. - All right. 223 00:15:03,693 --> 00:15:06,090 It's Ben. Okay, go back to sleep. 224 00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,817 - Hey. - Hi. 225 00:16:05,961 --> 00:16:07,654 How you feeling? 226 00:16:07,795 --> 00:16:13,523 Uh, I mean, I'm not about to enter any pie-eating contests. 227 00:16:15,428 --> 00:16:18,757 Did you clean up my bathroom, or did I dream that? 228 00:16:18,896 --> 00:16:24,624 Me? No. Uh, the vomit elves came in. And, uh, really adorable. 229 00:16:24,762 --> 00:16:28,819 Really cute little things. I mean, little caps and little barf bags. 230 00:16:30,763 --> 00:16:33,456 Well, thank you. 231 00:16:33,596 --> 00:16:36,027 I mean, you really, really went above and beyond. 232 00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:39,787 Uh, no, please. It wasn't a big deal. You were very ladylike. 233 00:16:39,930 --> 00:16:41,793 Hardly any "chunk age. " 234 00:16:47,264 --> 00:16:50,059 - What's in the bag? - I got some, uh- 235 00:16:50,197 --> 00:16:52,685 I got some movies just in case you woke up. Not in case you woke up. 236 00:16:52,830 --> 00:16:55,954 I knew you were going to wake up. In case you woke up in the middle of the night. 237 00:16:57,631 --> 00:16:59,994 Yeah? Anything good? 238 00:17:00,230 --> 00:17:02,287 Uh, mostly animated pornography from Japan. 239 00:17:02,464 --> 00:17:05,691 And a little something I like to watch too when I feel sick. 240 00:17:05,831 --> 00:17:08,058 Well, for me, it's Annie Hall. 241 00:17:08,197 --> 00:17:11,594 - Wh-What did you say? - Annie Hall. 242 00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:15,094 Whoa, this is like- This is unbelievable. 243 00:17:15,231 --> 00:17:17,094 Road House. 244 00:17:20,631 --> 00:17:23,688 Are you feeling- Is this crazy? I mean, what are the odds? 245 00:17:23,831 --> 00:17:25,729 Spooky. 246 00:17:29,231 --> 00:17:32,254 No, she cannot have my assistant. 247 00:17:32,431 --> 00:17:34,828 Because I trained Carrie. I like her. 248 00:17:34,965 --> 00:17:39,057 Listen. Do we have to settle this right now? I'm with a... person. 249 00:17:40,665 --> 00:17:44,153 Yes. Thank you. Okay, I'll speak to you tomorrow. Bye-bye. 250 00:17:44,299 --> 00:17:46,890 I'm really, really sorry. 251 00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:50,725 Actually, I'm sorry. I ate everything cool. I just left you a pile of sauce. 252 00:17:50,865 --> 00:17:54,592 That's okay. Actually, I'm the worst. I eat off everybody's plate. 253 00:17:54,732 --> 00:17:57,925 In fact, my friends, they call me "the seagull. " 254 00:17:58,065 --> 00:18:00,360 Oh, hi, seagull. 255 00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:04,291 Nice. 256 00:18:04,432 --> 00:18:08,194 No, really, I appreciate you being cool about the phone thing... 257 00:18:08,366 --> 00:18:11,559 because I once went on a date with this guy who got so angry I was on the phone... 258 00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:14,324 that he grabbed it out of my hand, and he threw it in the fish tank. 259 00:18:14,466 --> 00:18:16,931 I would never do that. 260 00:18:17,066 --> 00:18:20,157 What are your pet peeves? What stresses you out? 261 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,822 - Mm, I got- - And I'm only asking... 262 00:18:22,966 --> 00:18:26,227 because frankly the men I meet are highly- 263 00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:28,265 I date poodles basically. 264 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,298 And I'm really relaxed, you know? Totally. 265 00:18:31,433 --> 00:18:34,058 - Son of a- Stop ringing. - I got it. 266 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,063 Let me do it. Let me do it. 267 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:40,461 Hello? Uh, no, she isn't. May I take a message? 268 00:18:40,634 --> 00:18:43,997 This is Ben. I'm her houseboy/sex slave. 269 00:18:44,134 --> 00:18:47,896 Okay. You betcha. Bye-bye. 270 00:18:48,034 --> 00:18:50,124 Call your mother. 271 00:18:52,668 --> 00:18:55,190 Wait, wait, wait, wait. So you don't have a cell phone... 272 00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:58,129 - a BlackBerry, a pager, nothing? - No. 273 00:18:58,268 --> 00:19:00,597 Well, what if some sudden crisis occurs... 274 00:19:00,735 --> 00:19:02,825 like your father has a heart attack or something? 275 00:19:02,968 --> 00:19:05,832 - My father died two years ago. - Oh, I'm sorry. 276 00:19:05,968 --> 00:19:08,559 I just found out this morning, so it's been a rough 24 hours. 277 00:19:08,701 --> 00:19:10,758 You know, maybe I should get a cell phone. That's a good idea. 278 00:19:10,902 --> 00:19:13,800 - You're funny, Ben- - Wrightman. 279 00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:15,798 - Wrightman. Yeah. - Yeah. 280 00:19:15,935 --> 00:19:17,798 - You forgot my last name. - No, I just blanked. 281 00:19:17,935 --> 00:19:21,196 I know why you forgot. That's all right. I bet when you talk to your friends... 282 00:19:21,335 --> 00:19:23,960 you call me Ben the schoolteacher, am I right? 283 00:19:25,902 --> 00:19:27,765 - Well? - That's okay. 284 00:19:27,902 --> 00:19:30,868 What do you call me to your friends? 285 00:19:31,002 --> 00:19:36,162 I call you Lindsey... 286 00:19:36,302 --> 00:19:38,893 the vomit girl, the puker, Pukey. 287 00:19:39,036 --> 00:19:41,263 Everyone says, "You going out with Pukey tonight?" I'm like, "Yeah. Why?" 288 00:19:41,402 --> 00:19:44,731 "You wanna play video games or something?" I'm like, "No, I'm going out with Pukey. " 289 00:19:44,869 --> 00:19:47,334 That's horrible. 290 00:19:47,470 --> 00:19:52,459 Hey, anything I've said about you would be an understatement, really. 291 00:20:05,937 --> 00:20:08,903 - Hey, Lindsey! - Hi! 292 00:20:09,037 --> 00:20:12,400 - Hi. - Hi, I'm Ben the schoolteacher. 293 00:20:12,537 --> 00:20:14,400 Ian. Sarah. 294 00:20:14,537 --> 00:20:16,400 - Steve. Molly. - Oh, thanks for having me. 295 00:20:16,538 --> 00:20:19,197 - Robin and Chris. - Welcome aboard. 296 00:20:19,371 --> 00:20:22,030 Well, let's start the interrogation. 297 00:20:22,204 --> 00:20:24,067 No, no, it's not like that. 298 00:20:24,204 --> 00:20:26,692 Here. It's for the urine sample. 299 00:20:26,871 --> 00:20:30,530 Shoot, I wish you would have told me. I just took a whiz in your bushes. 300 00:20:30,671 --> 00:20:32,728 Do you want to- 301 00:20:32,871 --> 00:20:34,734 Show him the house. 302 00:20:42,604 --> 00:20:46,831 - Lindsey, this Ben guy has got such a good vibe. - Good. 303 00:20:46,971 --> 00:20:49,459 - And he's nothing like the guys you usually date. - I know. 304 00:20:49,605 --> 00:20:53,128 - And how cute is he? - Yeah? Well, I'm really glad you guys feel this way... 305 00:20:53,305 --> 00:20:56,634 because if you didn't, I was gonna have to find three new friends. 306 00:20:56,772 --> 00:20:59,704 - No, no, no, I really think you've got something here. - Me too. 307 00:20:59,872 --> 00:21:03,770 Yeah, but... something's not quite right. 308 00:21:03,906 --> 00:21:06,269 - Robin. - No, no, he's great. 309 00:21:06,405 --> 00:21:08,768 He is. I love him. He's a doll. 310 00:21:08,906 --> 00:21:11,428 - But he's not 22. - So? 311 00:21:11,572 --> 00:21:15,731 So, where's he been? Why is he still on the market? 312 00:21:15,872 --> 00:21:19,099 - Um- - Maybe he hasn't found the right person yet. 313 00:21:19,239 --> 00:21:21,602 Well, by now he should be with the wrong person. 314 00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:24,638 How has he not been tranquilized and tagged? 315 00:21:25,940 --> 00:21:27,906 Let me get this straight. 316 00:21:28,072 --> 00:21:30,503 You got two season tickets behind the Red Sox dugout? 317 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,367 - Mm-hmm. Yeah. My uncle left them to me. - Behind the dugout? 318 00:21:33,506 --> 00:21:36,028 Yeah. Well, not really behind, like next to it. Fifteen feet away. 319 00:21:36,174 --> 00:21:39,163 You can see right into it at a certain point. It's pretty awesome. 320 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:45,867 Let me ask you this. 321 00:21:46,007 --> 00:21:48,199 Do you find my wife attractive at all? 322 00:21:48,340 --> 00:21:50,203 'Cause we could work something out. 323 00:21:54,340 --> 00:21:56,703 Well, do you? 324 00:21:56,841 --> 00:22:00,273 You know what you need to do? You need to go to his apartment and go through his things. 325 00:22:00,407 --> 00:22:03,134 You need to go through his closets, sofa cushions. You need to get on his computer. 326 00:22:03,307 --> 00:22:05,829 And what exactly am I looking for? 327 00:22:06,008 --> 00:22:08,473 Anything that explains why he�s still single. 328 00:22:08,641 --> 00:22:10,833 My company can run a credit check on him. 329 00:22:10,974 --> 00:22:13,132 You know, he could be a deadbeat dad. 330 00:22:13,275 --> 00:22:16,139 This is an insane asylum. 331 00:22:16,275 --> 00:22:21,401 So, uh, when they wheeled out Ted Williams at the all-star game- 332 00:22:21,542 --> 00:22:25,701 I was there. I was 10 feet away from him. 333 00:22:25,842 --> 00:22:31,206 Old men crying. Tears. 334 00:22:31,341 --> 00:22:33,670 Tough old guys. 335 00:22:33,842 --> 00:22:36,865 I even started to lose it, you know. 336 00:22:37,042 --> 00:22:39,405 I got a program. I could show you. 337 00:22:40,742 --> 00:22:44,265 If Lindsey ever breaks up with you, I'll kill her. 338 00:22:44,409 --> 00:22:46,567 Lindsey, do you remember that guy Maureen Durst went out with? 339 00:22:46,709 --> 00:22:50,766 - Uh, sort of. Why? - Terry what�s-his-name? 340 00:22:50,909 --> 00:22:53,670 We all thought he was great too. 341 00:22:53,809 --> 00:22:56,274 - Well, what happened? - Oh, my God. She went to his apartment and- 342 00:22:56,409 --> 00:22:58,533 Shh. My story. Stand by. 343 00:22:58,676 --> 00:23:01,164 She's at his place. He's in the shower. 344 00:23:01,309 --> 00:23:05,105 She wants to make the bed, so she goes to the closet. Guess what she finds. 345 00:23:05,243 --> 00:23:07,232 Oh, I don't know. What'd she find? 346 00:23:07,410 --> 00:23:11,569 Two large plastic bags containing all of the hair and nail clippings... 347 00:23:11,709 --> 00:23:13,698 from his entire life. 348 00:23:13,876 --> 00:23:15,739 Eww! 349 00:23:15,876 --> 00:23:18,103 - Eww! - That's a true story. 350 00:23:18,243 --> 00:23:21,038 I'm telling you, there is a reason this Ben guy is still single. 351 00:25:18,748 --> 00:25:20,975 - Come on! - I promised him we'd wait. 352 00:25:21,147 --> 00:25:24,670 - We're always waiting for him. - I gave him my word. 353 00:25:24,848 --> 00:25:27,040 You guys wait? 354 00:25:27,182 --> 00:25:29,045 - Yeah. - Come on, man. 355 00:25:29,182 --> 00:25:31,045 - Did anyone die because you�re here? - No, no, no. 356 00:25:31,182 --> 00:25:33,374 I got another anesthesiologist to cover for me. 357 00:25:33,514 --> 00:25:35,377 All right, are you ready? 358 00:25:35,515 --> 00:25:39,106 Hey, come on! God. 359 00:25:53,916 --> 00:25:55,779 A new season. 360 00:25:55,916 --> 00:25:59,939 A clean slate. 361 00:26:00,116 --> 00:26:01,979 Yep, this smells like the year. 362 00:26:09,916 --> 00:26:12,245 - Hey, you wanna know something? - What? 363 00:26:12,383 --> 00:26:16,475 - I like you. - I like you. 364 00:26:16,616 --> 00:26:21,048 No, I mean, I really like you. I even wrote down a list of all the things I like about you. 365 00:26:21,183 --> 00:26:23,307 You made a list? 366 00:26:23,449 --> 00:26:26,937 Yeah. I don't have it with me, but I can remember it. 367 00:26:27,117 --> 00:26:30,514 I'll skip down because the first six are all body parts. 368 00:26:30,683 --> 00:26:35,115 Uh, number seven: I like that you drink in the afternoon. 369 00:26:35,284 --> 00:26:39,909 Number eight: I like sometimes you talk out of the side of your mouth a little bit. 370 00:26:40,050 --> 00:26:42,607 And it's like- it's like an adorable stroke victim. 371 00:26:42,751 --> 00:26:45,114 I do? 372 00:26:45,250 --> 00:26:48,647 No, it's very cute. It really is. Uh, number nine. 373 00:26:48,784 --> 00:26:51,511 You know, when you're getting ready in the mirror, just when you're about finished... 374 00:26:51,651 --> 00:26:53,514 you go like- 375 00:26:53,651 --> 00:26:57,481 It's so cute, I wanna kill myself. It's fantastic. Uh- 376 00:26:57,617 --> 00:27:00,276 - Hey, when's your break? - Hmm? 377 00:27:00,451 --> 00:27:03,644 - For your school vacation. When do you get off? - End of March. 378 00:27:03,817 --> 00:27:06,180 - That's when you're in Baltimore, right? - Yeah. 379 00:27:06,318 --> 00:27:11,341 Well, it's a really big deal in my family, because it's my dad's birthday and Easter... 380 00:27:11,485 --> 00:27:14,110 and my sister's anniversary all in the same week. 381 00:27:14,251 --> 00:27:16,614 - A cluster. - Yeah. Uh- 382 00:27:16,752 --> 00:27:20,309 So, uh, how would you like to come? 383 00:27:22,818 --> 00:27:25,181 Ooh, too fast? Too serious? 384 00:27:25,319 --> 00:27:27,511 No, why? Did I look like I was just- 385 00:27:27,652 --> 00:27:29,810 - You were a little. - No, 'cause- 386 00:27:29,952 --> 00:27:32,440 No, I-I made- I have a previous commitment. 387 00:27:32,618 --> 00:27:36,050 - Oh, plans? - Yeah, yeah. 388 00:27:36,219 --> 00:27:38,684 Um, see, I didn't tell you about it, 'cause I knew you were gonna be away. 389 00:27:38,852 --> 00:27:43,443 I figured it wouldn't matter, but every year during Easter vacation... 390 00:27:43,586 --> 00:27:48,382 uh, me and my friends, we go down to Florida. 391 00:27:48,519 --> 00:27:53,974 You and your buddies go down to Florida for spring break? At your age? 392 00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:56,915 No, no, no, not spring break. Spring training with the Red Sox. 393 00:27:57,053 --> 00:27:59,314 Oh, you get to train with the Red Sox? 394 00:27:59,453 --> 00:28:01,419 Are you allowed to do that? 395 00:28:01,554 --> 00:28:04,645 Well, we don't actually- We watch the games. 396 00:28:04,786 --> 00:28:06,649 Aren't those just practice games? 397 00:28:06,819 --> 00:28:09,148 Yeah, yeah, but there's more to it than that. 398 00:28:09,287 --> 00:28:12,684 We scout the players. We-We say which players they should keep... 399 00:28:12,820 --> 00:28:15,718 - which they should get rid of. - And the Red Sox ask your opinion? 400 00:28:16,854 --> 00:28:18,717 Well, not yet. 401 00:28:18,854 --> 00:28:22,047 But if they ever do, uh- 402 00:28:22,188 --> 00:28:25,086 Okay, I've been avoiding this. 403 00:28:27,754 --> 00:28:30,584 There's something you don't know about me. 404 00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,015 Oh, God, here comes the bag of hair. 405 00:28:35,588 --> 00:28:41,282 The thing is, uh, I am a Red Sox fan. 406 00:28:41,454 --> 00:28:46,512 - Yeah? - No, I'm like a big, big Red Sox fan. 407 00:28:46,688 --> 00:28:49,552 I know. I mean, I've been to your apartment... 408 00:28:49,688 --> 00:28:55,120 and seen the Red Sox dish towels and glasses and the Yankee toilet paper. 409 00:28:55,255 --> 00:28:58,550 - It's like you live in a gift shop. - It's worse. 410 00:29:01,455 --> 00:29:03,444 See, when I was a kid, I moved here from New Jersey... 411 00:29:03,589 --> 00:29:05,555 and I didn't have any friends or anything... 412 00:29:05,689 --> 00:29:07,779 so my Uncle Carl started taking me to Fenway Park. 413 00:29:10,055 --> 00:29:12,953 I just- I got lost in the game. 414 00:29:13,122 --> 00:29:15,417 I mean, the ballpark and the people. 415 00:29:15,589 --> 00:29:17,816 The color, the sounds. 416 00:29:17,956 --> 00:29:19,854 The smells. 417 00:29:22,056 --> 00:29:24,079 And then he got cancer and he died. 418 00:29:24,223 --> 00:29:26,984 He left me his season tickets. 419 00:29:27,123 --> 00:29:28,986 And it's a passion. 420 00:29:29,123 --> 00:29:33,987 I mean, it's a very, very big part of my life. 421 00:29:34,123 --> 00:29:38,146 And it's been a problem with me and women. 422 00:29:38,290 --> 00:29:40,687 Oh, ah, I know those women. 423 00:29:40,823 --> 00:29:44,619 The "pay attention to me" and "why aren�t you talking to me?" 424 00:29:44,757 --> 00:29:48,950 - Yeah. Exactly. - God, those women are so pathetic. 425 00:29:49,124 --> 00:29:51,988 Yeah, it's like, "What are you getting so worked up for? 426 00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:54,612 - I mean, you're not even doing it, you're watching it. " - Yeah. 427 00:29:54,790 --> 00:29:58,278 It's like, "Hey, how about sometimes I like to be 11 years old. " 428 00:29:58,424 --> 00:30:02,083 - Yeah. - I like being part of something that's bigger than me-than I. 429 00:30:02,224 --> 00:30:05,213 It's good for your soul to invest in something that you can't control. 430 00:30:05,357 --> 00:30:08,050 You're a romantic. 431 00:30:08,191 --> 00:30:10,349 Hmm? 432 00:30:10,491 --> 00:30:15,219 You have a lyrical soul. You can love under the best and worst conditions. 433 00:30:15,357 --> 00:30:18,948 I don't know. Well, yeah, yeah. 434 00:30:19,125 --> 00:30:22,613 Yeah, I guess so. Hey, uh- 435 00:30:25,358 --> 00:30:27,983 You took a really big chance inviting me to meet your family. 436 00:30:28,125 --> 00:30:31,887 Now I'm gonna take a chance. A big one. 437 00:30:41,458 --> 00:30:45,890 Lindsey, will you go to opening day with me? 438 00:30:48,392 --> 00:30:51,222 Yes. 439 00:30:51,359 --> 00:30:53,222 Yes. Yes! 440 00:30:53,393 --> 00:30:55,756 You hear that? She said yes! 441 00:30:55,892 --> 00:30:57,858 Mary, look. Merry Christmas. 442 00:30:58,026 --> 00:31:00,389 Clarence, look how everyone showed up. It's amaz- 443 00:31:00,526 --> 00:31:03,458 We're going to opening day. It's official. We're going. 444 00:31:03,593 --> 00:31:03,683 - Whoo-hoo! - Whoo! 445 00:31:06,726 --> 00:31:09,850 What did Dad do to his hair? 446 00:31:09,993 --> 00:31:12,720 - I can't even look at him. - I know. 447 00:31:12,860 --> 00:31:14,950 How could you let him? 448 00:31:15,093 --> 00:31:18,991 He's 60. It's a big psychological milestone. 449 00:31:19,127 --> 00:31:22,218 He's struggling with it. He thinks he looks good. 450 00:31:25,660 --> 00:31:28,784 Now don't start with me. Listen, I forgot to tell you that Donna- 451 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:32,323 Stop it! Out! 452 00:31:32,460 --> 00:31:35,789 Outside! Out. 453 00:31:35,928 --> 00:31:37,791 I don't know what's with him lately. 454 00:31:37,928 --> 00:31:40,917 Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you. Donna called. 455 00:31:41,061 --> 00:31:42,924 - And they're on their way. - Okay. 456 00:31:43,061 --> 00:31:44,993 Good. 457 00:31:48,128 --> 00:31:52,220 He is scaring the dog. How can you stand it? 458 00:31:52,361 --> 00:31:55,122 He fanned me with a magazine for four years when I was going through menopause. 459 00:31:55,261 --> 00:31:58,091 I can put up with this. 460 00:31:58,228 --> 00:32:02,217 Go back in and talk to him. He misses you. 461 00:32:02,395 --> 00:32:05,986 Okay. One more. 462 00:32:09,095 --> 00:32:13,027 Yeah, but do you see him ever playing in a Yankee uniform? 463 00:32:13,162 --> 00:32:14,388 - Hi. - Hey, kiddo. 464 00:32:14,528 --> 00:32:16,391 - Want a cookie? - No, thanks. 465 00:32:18,528 --> 00:32:22,187 - Your mama says you've been busy. - Ooh. 466 00:32:22,329 --> 00:32:25,954 No Red Sox fan has forgotten last October and Aaron Boone. 467 00:32:26,095 --> 00:32:28,686 - Hey, is this about the Red Sox? - Yeah. 468 00:32:28,828 --> 00:32:31,760 That next year is the year. 469 00:32:31,896 --> 00:32:34,361 Steve Levy is in Fort Myers with some of the members of the set... 470 00:32:34,529 --> 00:32:37,461 known as Red Sox Nation. 471 00:32:37,596 --> 00:32:40,789 Down here in Fort Myers, Florida, the story is always the same. 472 00:32:40,930 --> 00:32:44,453 - When the calendar page flips to March- - Are you interested? 473 00:32:44,596 --> 00:32:46,686 No, I just, you know- 474 00:32:46,829 --> 00:32:50,921 I mean, I have a friend who is interested. 475 00:32:51,063 --> 00:32:53,392 Oh, the schoolteacher. 476 00:32:54,796 --> 00:32:57,227 When are we gonna meet this future breakup? 477 00:32:57,363 --> 00:33:00,227 Thanks, Dad. That's really encouraging. 478 00:33:00,363 --> 00:33:03,124 Well, I thought you would have brought him with you. 479 00:33:03,263 --> 00:33:07,093 Well, you know, he wanted to come. 480 00:33:07,263 --> 00:33:11,752 It's just that, um, well, he has this tradition, you know. 481 00:33:11,931 --> 00:33:14,488 And it's very important to him every- 482 00:33:14,630 --> 00:33:18,823 The Sox are right there! The Sox are right there! 483 00:33:18,964 --> 00:33:22,794 Where do the Sox rank in terms of importance in your life? 484 00:33:22,931 --> 00:33:25,658 I'd say Red Sox, sex and breathing. 485 00:33:25,797 --> 00:33:29,559 I have season tickets to Fenway Park. I haven't missed a game in 11 years. 486 00:33:29,698 --> 00:33:33,061 I love the Red Sox. They're gonna win. All the way this year, baby! 487 00:33:33,198 --> 00:33:36,062 Do you have a job? Do you work for a living? 488 00:33:36,198 --> 00:33:38,663 Of course I do. Yeah, I'm a teacher. I mold young minds. 489 00:33:38,798 --> 00:33:41,991 - Can you help these guys out? - Can you believe this asshole? 490 00:33:50,731 --> 00:33:52,560 29th of May, Seattle, all right? 491 00:33:52,699 --> 00:33:54,597 You know what? I gave it to the lady down at the bakery. 492 00:33:54,732 --> 00:33:57,391 Ben, all I got so far is the 21st and 22nd, man. 493 00:33:57,532 --> 00:34:01,294 We're only on May. We've been here for four hours. Let's try to speed this up. 494 00:34:01,432 --> 00:34:03,954 30th of May, we're still at Seattle. Who wants a Sunday game? 495 00:34:04,099 --> 00:34:06,122 These guys can have whatever games they want. 496 00:34:06,265 --> 00:34:08,163 All I ask for is the first Yankee game. 497 00:34:08,299 --> 00:34:11,696 You went to six Yankee games last season, you selfish pig bastard. 498 00:34:11,832 --> 00:34:14,161 You got to go to every great game. Lowe's no-hitter. 499 00:34:14,333 --> 00:34:17,730 Your mother's hysterectomy? I put her out for free, remember? 500 00:34:17,899 --> 00:34:21,854 - She had insurance for that. - Attention, morons. 501 00:34:22,033 --> 00:34:25,931 - You went last year. - You guys want Yankee tickets? You wanna talk Yankee tickets? 502 00:34:26,066 --> 00:34:27,326 - Yes. - Really. 503 00:34:27,466 --> 00:34:30,261 Okay, well, I wanna see you dance for me. 504 00:34:32,934 --> 00:34:34,797 You don't wanna dance? I don't wanna embarrass you. 505 00:34:34,934 --> 00:34:37,456 I don't wanna embarrass you. I'll just take this. Everyone just go. 506 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,997 I�ll go talk to some kids in the street. I see a little bit there. That's pretty nice. 507 00:34:41,134 --> 00:34:43,725 That's it. The doctor is giving me something. 508 00:34:43,867 --> 00:34:46,662 The doctor is giving me some magic tapping there. 509 00:34:46,833 --> 00:34:49,424 Oh, I like that a lot. Yeah, that's- Oh! 510 00:34:49,601 --> 00:34:52,964 Al I right, Little League, you wanna go? You want some of this? 511 00:34:53,100 --> 00:34:55,292 - How's this, Ben? This is dancing for tickets. - I'm dancing, Ben. 512 00:34:55,434 --> 00:34:57,297 - Troy, sit on the beanbag, please. - Hey, I started, Ben. 513 00:34:57,434 --> 00:35:01,127 Gerard, I guess you don't want them, huh? 514 00:35:01,267 --> 00:35:03,789 - This is worth tickets. - I'm not dancing. This is totally stupid, man. 515 00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:06,662 Fine. Hey, hold out for the Royals, huh? 516 00:35:10,434 --> 00:35:12,922 You are on a total power trip, you know that, man? 517 00:35:13,068 --> 00:35:16,397 - This is totally ridiculous, man. - I was dancing first, remember? 518 00:35:16,535 --> 00:35:19,092 You said dance, I started dancing. 519 00:35:19,268 --> 00:35:22,597 You call that Yankee dancing? No, no, that's like Devil Ray dancing, okay? 520 00:35:22,735 --> 00:35:25,166 That's Devil Ray. I'm talking about Yankee dancing. 521 00:35:25,302 --> 00:35:29,200 That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, get into it. Yeah! How bad do you want it? 522 00:35:29,335 --> 00:35:31,892 Yeah, that's nice. I love it. Come on in. 523 00:35:32,036 --> 00:35:35,195 That's it! Come on! Whoo! 524 00:35:38,669 --> 00:35:41,793 That's right. I'm- 525 00:35:43,936 --> 00:35:46,663 Hey, what are you doing here? 526 00:35:46,802 --> 00:35:48,960 I thought you weren't coming in until tomorrow. You look fantastic. 527 00:35:49,102 --> 00:35:51,226 - I got in last night. - You know Troy, Kevin and Gerard. 528 00:35:51,369 --> 00:35:54,164 - Everyone else, this is Lindsey. - Hi. 529 00:35:54,336 --> 00:35:56,268 Hi, Linds. 530 00:35:56,403 --> 00:35:59,164 - Party? - No, it's draft day. 531 00:35:59,303 --> 00:36:02,700 This is the day we organize the whole season, who gets to go to what game with me. 532 00:36:02,836 --> 00:36:04,926 But don't worry. You're still going to opening day. 533 00:36:05,070 --> 00:36:09,093 Yeah, thank you. Can I talk to you about something really quickly? 534 00:36:09,237 --> 00:36:11,327 Sure, yeah, no problem. Quick break, everybody. 535 00:36:11,470 --> 00:36:14,095 There's some nice Pakistani cold cuts there, courtesy of Mrs. Segal. 536 00:36:14,237 --> 00:36:16,930 I still don't think they're worth two Sunday tickets. 537 00:36:17,070 --> 00:36:19,160 - Whoo-hoo! - Hey! Hey! 538 00:36:21,037 --> 00:36:22,900 Come here. 539 00:36:23,037 --> 00:36:24,900 Wait, I got you something. 540 00:36:25,037 --> 00:36:28,230 I set aside some great games for you too. 541 00:36:28,404 --> 00:36:31,801 Hmm? For when we go to the games together. 542 00:36:31,938 --> 00:36:33,369 Thanks. 543 00:36:33,537 --> 00:36:36,367 It's what the players wear. 544 00:36:36,504 --> 00:36:38,367 It's authentic. 545 00:36:41,537 --> 00:36:44,367 I gotta be honest. This is getting me hot. 546 00:36:44,505 --> 00:36:49,698 Listen. Um, you know, I saw you on ESPN. 547 00:36:49,837 --> 00:36:51,803 Oh. We looked like morons, didn't we? 548 00:36:51,938 --> 00:36:56,064 Uh, yeah, yeah, total. Not you so much, but- 549 00:36:56,205 --> 00:36:58,864 Well, it's very hot, you know. It's Florida. 550 00:36:59,005 --> 00:37:00,937 You start seeing things. 551 00:37:01,072 --> 00:37:04,834 Um, you know, Ben... 552 00:37:04,972 --> 00:37:10,836 I didn't realize how big this Red Sox thing is with you. 553 00:37:10,972 --> 00:37:13,199 What? Hey, I told you. 554 00:37:13,339 --> 00:37:15,804 See, this is-This always happens. Every time I- 555 00:37:15,939 --> 00:37:18,905 Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't jump off a building. We're just talking. 556 00:37:22,406 --> 00:37:25,429 - Sorry. Knee jerk. - Ben, come on, man. The cold cuts are gone. 557 00:37:25,573 --> 00:37:28,562 - Let's go in there. - Two minutes! 558 00:37:29,906 --> 00:37:31,996 Wow. I really hit a nerve there, didn't I? 559 00:37:32,140 --> 00:37:34,628 Uh- Yeah. 560 00:37:34,806 --> 00:37:37,203 Come here. 561 00:37:37,340 --> 00:37:39,329 Thank you. 562 00:37:39,507 --> 00:37:43,496 I think there's a better approach to this whole Red Sox thing. 563 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,299 - Really? - Yeah. After all, if I want this promotion... 564 00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:49,633 I am going to have to push myself really hard this summer. 565 00:37:49,774 --> 00:37:55,331 And I've never really been very good at servicing myself, my job and a relationship. 566 00:37:55,473 --> 00:37:58,098 Wait, wait. We're not breaking up, are we? 567 00:37:58,240 --> 00:38:00,967 - No, no, this is a good thing. - Okay. 568 00:38:01,107 --> 00:38:04,539 You're gonna be so consumed with all of this that you won't feel neglected all summer. 569 00:38:04,674 --> 00:38:07,299 No, no, yeah, I'm not gonna feel neglected. 570 00:38:07,474 --> 00:38:09,905 And I won't feel guilty for having to do my job. 571 00:38:10,041 --> 00:38:11,631 Yeah, you shouldn't. 572 00:38:11,807 --> 00:38:15,068 So, what I'm saying is, I think this is perfect. 573 00:38:15,208 --> 00:38:16,833 All right. Go, Sox! 574 00:38:26,174 --> 00:38:29,503 We got 'em right here, folks. Come on down. Cut your deficit and balance your budget. 575 00:38:32,441 --> 00:38:34,304 Programs here! Get your programs here! 576 00:38:50,008 --> 00:38:52,769 - Hi. Hi. - Hey. 577 00:38:54,275 --> 00:38:56,934 Peanuts! CrackerJacks! 578 00:38:57,076 --> 00:39:00,235 Who wants peanuts? Who wants CrackerJacks? 579 00:39:00,342 --> 00:39:03,433 Peanuts! CrackerJacks! Who wants- 580 00:39:03,576 --> 00:39:05,700 It's unbelievable, right? You can't even believe how- 581 00:39:05,842 --> 00:39:08,399 - Look, right here, go. This is it. - Thank you. 582 00:39:08,543 --> 00:39:12,305 Is this amazing? Is this crazy? Would you look at these seats? 583 00:39:12,443 --> 00:39:14,306 They're-They're very red. 584 00:39:14,476 --> 00:39:16,873 No, I mean, their proximity to the field. This is Fenway Park. 585 00:39:17,009 --> 00:39:19,873 - Oh. - You can't buy these seats. You have to, like, inherit them. 586 00:39:20,009 --> 00:39:22,907 It's like a guy offered me $100,000 for these once. 587 00:39:23,044 --> 00:39:26,168 - And you didn't sell them? - No, if I ever need the money that bad... 588 00:39:26,310 --> 00:39:29,140 I can always call up a rich old lady and give her some sweet lovin', you know? 589 00:39:29,277 --> 00:39:31,140 That's what I'm all about. Hey, what's up, Al? 590 00:39:31,277 --> 00:39:33,799 - How you doing? - I'm on dialysis. 591 00:39:33,944 --> 00:39:36,535 Right on, buddy. Hey, Al, this is Lindsey. 592 00:39:36,677 --> 00:39:38,869 Hi. Al Waterman. Here, have a sponge. 593 00:39:39,010 --> 00:39:40,999 - Thank you. - Al is the first guy I ever met... 594 00:39:41,144 --> 00:39:43,007 - at my first Red Sox game ever. - Really? 595 00:39:43,144 --> 00:39:46,133 Yeah, he's aged horribly. Hey, the Belnaps. 596 00:39:46,277 --> 00:39:48,606 - This is Artie. Viv. This is Lindsey. - Hello. 597 00:39:48,778 --> 00:39:50,641 - Hi, Lindsey. - Hello. 598 00:39:50,778 --> 00:39:52,767 - Been divorced 20 years, still share the seats. - Really. 599 00:39:52,945 --> 00:39:54,808 - Hey, Ben. - Sheri! 600 00:39:54,945 --> 00:39:57,467 - How you doing? Where's Teresa? - She's right here. 601 00:39:57,611 --> 00:40:00,168 Oh, my God. What happened? You look fantastic! 602 00:40:00,312 --> 00:40:03,436 I lost 200 pounds. I had my stomach stapled shut. 603 00:40:03,578 --> 00:40:06,476 - A doctor or you did it yourself? - Oh, real funny. 604 00:40:06,611 --> 00:40:08,769 Hey! 605 00:40:10,911 --> 00:40:12,843 This is quite a little group you have here. 606 00:40:12,978 --> 00:40:15,808 Well, it's my summer family. 607 00:40:26,845 --> 00:40:31,300 Let's hear it for Jordan Leandre. 608 00:40:31,446 --> 00:40:35,344 Ladies and gentlemen, throwing out the first ball today... 609 00:40:35,479 --> 00:40:38,672 New England's own Stephen King. 610 00:40:41,646 --> 00:40:43,703 Right down the middle. 611 00:40:47,947 --> 00:40:50,640 Did you tell Schuyler? Okay, al I right, listen. 612 00:40:50,780 --> 00:40:54,212 Um, excuse me. What time is the game over? 613 00:40:54,346 --> 00:40:57,675 Uh, it's not like a Broadway musical where it ends with a big Hawaiian number. 614 00:40:57,813 --> 00:41:00,244 It's like you�re missing all the ambience and all the fun. 615 00:41:00,347 --> 00:41:02,210 - I know. - The players are right there. 616 00:41:02,347 --> 00:41:05,313 I have a meeting at 5:30 and had to leave work at noon to meet you here... 617 00:41:05,447 --> 00:41:08,038 - so my people aren't prepared. - Right. Okay. 618 00:41:10,947 --> 00:41:12,936 You know what? I left work early... 619 00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:15,705 so you're gonna have to figure it out for yourself, and I'll call you later. 620 00:41:15,847 --> 00:41:18,904 Wakefield. 621 00:41:27,547 --> 00:41:29,536 That's a foul. 622 00:41:29,714 --> 00:41:32,612 - What makes that a foul? - See that foul pole there? 623 00:41:32,747 --> 00:41:36,110 That's Pesky's Pole. That's this guy Johnny Pesky. 624 00:41:45,481 --> 00:41:46,504 Yeah! 625 00:42:01,015 --> 00:42:03,708 Hey, what are you doing on Saturday? 626 00:42:03,882 --> 00:42:05,745 Mm, you tell me. 627 00:42:08,249 --> 00:42:10,339 - You know what's really great about baseball? - Hmm? 628 00:42:10,482 --> 00:42:15,039 You can't fake it. Anything else in life, you don't have to be great in- 629 00:42:15,182 --> 00:42:17,409 business, music, art- I mean, you can get lucky. 630 00:42:17,549 --> 00:42:19,810 - Really? - Yeah, you can fool everyone for a while, you know? 631 00:42:19,950 --> 00:42:21,813 It's like- Not- Not baseball. 632 00:42:21,950 --> 00:42:23,973 You can either hit a curveball or you can't. 633 00:42:24,116 --> 00:42:26,809 - That's the way it works, you know? - Hmm. 634 00:42:26,950 --> 00:42:31,473 You could have a lucky day, sure, but you can't have a lucky career. 635 00:42:31,616 --> 00:42:34,582 It's a little like math. It's orderly. 636 00:42:34,749 --> 00:42:38,010 Win or lose, it's fair. It all adds up. 637 00:42:38,150 --> 00:42:42,309 It's, like, not as confusing or as ambiguous as, uh- 638 00:42:42,450 --> 00:42:45,280 - Life? - Yeah. 639 00:42:45,417 --> 00:42:47,609 It's- It's safe. 640 00:42:50,984 --> 00:42:53,142 Oh, yeah! Yeah! 641 00:42:58,418 --> 00:42:59,940 - Hey. - Hi. 642 00:43:00,084 --> 00:43:01,947 What, did you buy out the bookstore? 643 00:43:02,084 --> 00:43:03,947 Actually, I bought every book they had on the Red Sox... 644 00:43:04,084 --> 00:43:06,641 because I'm tired of being the most ignorant person here. 645 00:43:06,817 --> 00:43:09,976 Now who is Carl Yaz-a-strezem- 646 00:43:10,151 --> 00:43:13,446 Yastrzemski. 647 00:43:13,585 --> 00:43:15,948 - She's not a genius, this one. - No. 648 00:43:16,085 --> 00:43:21,449 Johnny Damon! You got the sweetest ass in the league! 649 00:43:23,518 --> 00:43:25,541 Very nice. 650 00:43:28,018 --> 00:43:31,211 Do you believe in this? "The Curse of the Bambino"? 651 00:43:31,352 --> 00:43:34,341 - Hey, that's not funny. That's enough of that. - But Babe Ruth was the Bambino. 652 00:43:34,485 --> 00:43:36,348 That's right. He played for the Red Sox. 653 00:43:36,485 --> 00:43:38,973 They were great. I mean, they were the Yankees. 654 00:43:39,118 --> 00:43:42,675 They won the World Series in 1912, 1915... 655 00:43:42,852 --> 00:43:44,784 1916, 1918. 656 00:43:44,953 --> 00:43:47,316 They were royalty. The elite. 657 00:43:47,452 --> 00:43:50,384 Al should know. He was there actually. He's 136 years old. 658 00:43:50,552 --> 00:43:55,143 He looks great for his age. 1919, their miserable, greedy pig of a boss... 659 00:43:55,286 --> 00:43:58,649 decides to sell Babe Ruth to the Yankees to finance a Broadway musical. 660 00:43:58,786 --> 00:44:01,343 No, No, Nanette. I would never ever see that piece of crap. 661 00:44:01,486 --> 00:44:06,043 And since 1918, the Red Sox have not won a World Series. 662 00:44:06,186 --> 00:44:08,378 Yeah, the Yankees have won 26. 663 00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:12,384 And the thing is the Sox don't just lose, they raise it to an art form. 664 00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:14,781 Tony C., best young player in baseball... 665 00:44:14,954 --> 00:44:18,784 catches one in the eye at 22, he's finished at 26. 666 00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:22,044 Armbrister runs into Carlton Fisk, costs us the Series. 667 00:44:22,187 --> 00:44:24,119 Bucky friggin' Dent. 668 00:44:24,254 --> 00:44:27,220 You remember the time Roger Moret went catatonic? 669 00:44:27,354 --> 00:44:29,411 The grounds crew had to carry him out in a wheelbarrow. 670 00:44:29,554 --> 00:44:31,417 Buckner. 671 00:44:31,554 --> 00:44:33,849 Grady Little sticking with Pedro in the eighth inning. 672 00:44:33,987 --> 00:44:37,544 Ooh, stop it. You're killing me here. 673 00:44:37,688 --> 00:44:40,949 And that, milady, is the Curse of the Bambino. 674 00:44:41,087 --> 00:44:44,519 Number 19, Gabe Kapler. 675 00:44:53,188 --> 00:44:56,585 Okay, I'm ready. Let's go meet Mom and Dad. 676 00:45:00,021 --> 00:45:01,884 Nothing. 677 00:45:02,021 --> 00:45:05,612 - A laugh? A giggle? - This is not a man's closet. 678 00:45:05,755 --> 00:45:08,243 - What do you mean? - You have one pair of dress shoes. 679 00:45:08,388 --> 00:45:11,047 You're like a man-boy- half man, half boy. 680 00:45:11,188 --> 00:45:13,619 You should see the way my sister's husband dresses. 681 00:45:13,755 --> 00:45:17,914 He had a professional come in and do his closet. It's like suit, suit, suit- 682 00:45:18,056 --> 00:45:20,248 All right, okay, okay. I see what this is all about. 683 00:45:20,423 --> 00:45:23,116 You want your parents to like me more than they like your brother-in-law. 684 00:45:24,423 --> 00:45:27,253 No, it's not-Yes! 685 00:45:27,389 --> 00:45:32,753 Is it so horrible that I want my parents to like you? 686 00:45:34,623 --> 00:45:38,282 Okay. I think we have enough stuff in this closet. We can fool 'em. 687 00:45:38,423 --> 00:45:40,286 He looks like a skunk. 688 00:45:40,423 --> 00:45:42,412 You're the one that told me to grow it out. 689 00:45:42,556 --> 00:45:46,079 Well, what else could I say? It looked ridiculous on you. A man your age- 690 00:45:46,224 --> 00:45:48,849 Now, I understand that you're a teacher, right? You were? 691 00:45:48,990 --> 00:45:50,853 Yes, for 27 years. 692 00:45:50,990 --> 00:45:53,251 - And, okay, now you�re the principal, right? - Mm-hmm. 693 00:45:53,390 --> 00:45:56,356 And you- Did you ever tell me what your dad does? 694 00:45:56,524 --> 00:46:00,581 - I sell golf carts. - Wow. Okay, that gives us nothing to talk about. 695 00:46:00,757 --> 00:46:02,620 I don't really know much about it. 696 00:46:02,757 --> 00:46:05,723 That's funny, 'cause every other guy she's gone out with... 697 00:46:05,857 --> 00:46:08,049 has tried to get a free golf cart out of me. 698 00:46:08,190 --> 00:46:11,553 No, I like golf. Great sport. It's just I don't really get out much, you know? 699 00:46:11,691 --> 00:46:13,020 - We love it. - Yeah? 700 00:46:13,158 --> 00:46:15,215 They play all the time. 701 00:46:15,357 --> 00:46:17,822 We tried to get on the country club here, but it's very difficult. 702 00:46:17,958 --> 00:46:21,446 It's almost impossible. I had to call the manufacturer of my golf carts... 703 00:46:21,591 --> 00:46:24,284 - a guy named Dave Johnson, and said- - Jensen. 704 00:46:24,425 --> 00:46:26,617 - No, Dave- Dave Johnson. - Jensen. 705 00:46:26,791 --> 00:46:29,313 - Jensen? - Hi. Sorry we�re late. He was watching the Red Sox game. 706 00:46:29,491 --> 00:46:32,355 - How'd they do? - No, no. La, la, la, la, la! 707 00:46:32,491 --> 00:46:34,354 - Help me! Help me! Help me! - What's wrong? 708 00:46:34,491 --> 00:46:37,389 Oh, help me! Help me! Help me! La la la la! 709 00:46:37,525 --> 00:46:39,854 La la la la. La la la la. 710 00:46:39,992 --> 00:46:41,855 Okay. Okay. 711 00:46:41,992 --> 00:46:44,219 It was awesome. Struck out the side. 712 00:46:44,358 --> 00:46:47,482 Okay, it stopped. It stopped. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! 713 00:46:49,459 --> 00:46:51,686 - Whew! - Um- 714 00:46:51,825 --> 00:46:54,814 - Thank you. - Yeah. Ben tapes the Red Sox games... 715 00:46:54,959 --> 00:46:56,822 so he doesn't wanna know the score. 716 00:46:56,959 --> 00:47:01,051 And he can't cover his own ears 'cause he's got lobster fingers, so I do it. 717 00:47:02,226 --> 00:47:04,089 That's sweet. 718 00:47:08,693 --> 00:47:11,716 - Hey, how'd it go last night? - Fabulous. 719 00:47:11,859 --> 00:47:14,222 Mr. Myerson wants to see you. 720 00:47:14,359 --> 00:47:17,847 Oh, God. If one of the windows would open, I would jump. 721 00:47:17,993 --> 00:47:19,754 And your mom's on line one. 722 00:47:21,227 --> 00:47:26,955 Hi, Mom. Hi. Listen, where are you? Can I call you back? 723 00:47:27,093 --> 00:47:29,150 What? You had a 10:00 a. m. flight. 724 00:47:33,193 --> 00:47:35,715 - My Ben? - Yes, he has been great. 725 00:47:35,894 --> 00:47:38,883 He took us out to breakfast. Right now he's washing your father's balls. 726 00:47:39,061 --> 00:47:41,219 What? 727 00:47:42,460 --> 00:47:44,392 - Here's one. - Thanks, Ben. 728 00:47:44,527 --> 00:47:46,992 He got us a 10:00 a. m. tee time at the country club. 729 00:47:47,127 --> 00:47:50,559 How? 730 00:47:50,694 --> 00:47:53,955 One of his student's fathers has something to do with the sprinklers. 731 00:47:54,094 --> 00:47:56,083 - Can I talk to him for a second? - Oh, sure. 732 00:47:56,228 --> 00:47:58,160 Benny? Lindsey. 733 00:47:58,294 --> 00:48:00,384 Oh, thanks. Hi, Linds. 734 00:48:00,528 --> 00:48:03,255 Hey, what are you doing? 735 00:48:03,394 --> 00:48:05,053 Took a sick day. 736 00:48:06,861 --> 00:48:09,985 All right. Well, I'll see you tonight then. 737 00:48:10,162 --> 00:48:12,185 - All right. Bye-bye. - Honey- 738 00:48:12,361 --> 00:48:16,487 Uh, sweetheart, don't talk in my backswing. 739 00:48:16,628 --> 00:48:19,219 - Well, you were lined up wrong. - I wasn't lined up, I- 740 00:48:19,362 --> 00:48:21,691 Please, don't talk in my backswing. You know better than that. 741 00:48:21,828 --> 00:48:25,089 Just take a mulligan. Lighten up. 742 00:48:25,229 --> 00:48:27,786 - He's so short with me. - I know. I know. But you know what? 743 00:48:27,928 --> 00:48:30,553 - You talked in his backswing. Did you talk in his backswing? - Yes, I did. 744 00:48:30,729 --> 00:48:33,354 - Don't even look at him. Look this way. Let him swing. - Okay. 745 00:48:51,029 --> 00:48:53,221 Manny! Manny! Manny! 746 00:50:01,465 --> 00:50:03,397 Oh. 747 00:50:11,266 --> 00:50:14,289 She handled a project for a food service company like yours a few months ago. 748 00:50:14,433 --> 00:50:19,127 Gave them a model predicting the impact of every possibility. 749 00:50:19,266 --> 00:50:21,129 - Sounds like what I need. - Morning. 750 00:50:21,299 --> 00:50:23,231 You'll love her. This lady is a dynamo. 751 00:50:23,399 --> 00:50:25,626 Unstop... pable. 752 00:50:30,067 --> 00:50:33,760 When she wakes up, I wanna see her. 753 00:50:33,900 --> 00:50:35,832 Well, let's go for a coffee. 754 00:50:35,967 --> 00:50:39,058 You know what's happening here? You're being colonized. 755 00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:42,257 - What? - Colonized. It's like- It's like in the old days. 756 00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:46,389 When the French and the English would go into Asia and Africa... 757 00:50:46,534 --> 00:50:50,863 and they'd raise their flags and they'd impose their culture and they'd colonize. 758 00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:54,659 It's like, Sarah, when you cut your hair off because that guy liked short hair. 759 00:50:54,834 --> 00:50:56,766 Wait a minute. I mean, you guys are married. 760 00:50:56,934 --> 00:50:59,866 Isn't that a part of it, accommodating each other? 761 00:51:00,001 --> 00:51:02,296 You know, how many kids are we gonna have? 762 00:51:02,434 --> 00:51:06,025 Where are we gonna live? What pizza place are we gonna order from? 763 00:51:06,168 --> 00:51:08,031 Doesn't it require some pliability? 764 00:51:08,168 --> 00:51:11,691 Because maybe that's something I've been lacking in my life. 765 00:51:11,834 --> 00:51:13,857 Isn't it affecting your work? 766 00:51:14,001 --> 00:51:16,899 No, not so much. 767 00:51:17,034 --> 00:51:18,932 You know what I just realized? 768 00:51:19,068 --> 00:51:21,329 You're rooting for her relationship to fail. 769 00:51:21,468 --> 00:51:23,093 - No. - What? 770 00:51:23,235 --> 00:51:25,098 - That's right. - Why would I do that? 771 00:51:25,235 --> 00:51:27,700 Never mind. 772 00:51:29,168 --> 00:51:31,191 No. No, come on, tell me. 773 00:51:33,868 --> 00:51:38,493 All right. You and Lindsey are both very competitive, especially with each other. 774 00:51:38,635 --> 00:51:41,964 - She's more competitive than I am. - I am not. 775 00:51:42,102 --> 00:51:44,499 And when you were both starting out, you were the more successful one. 776 00:51:44,636 --> 00:51:47,999 But now Lindsey's career has skyrocketed, so she's more successful. 777 00:51:48,135 --> 00:51:51,294 But you've had the personal success, the marriage. 778 00:51:51,436 --> 00:51:54,663 And if Lindsey gets that too, then she's definitely the winner... 779 00:51:54,803 --> 00:51:56,632 so you�re rooting against her. 780 00:51:59,202 --> 00:52:02,964 Oh, my God. What did I do? 781 00:52:03,136 --> 00:52:06,000 - What the- - That's it. 782 00:52:06,136 --> 00:52:06,658 We are so not coming here anymore.