1 00:00:31,954 --> 00:00:36,869 SINGING: There's a bunch of birds in the sky 2 00:00:37,674 --> 00:00:42,589 And some deers just went running by 3 00:00:43,234 --> 00:00:45,907 Oh, the snow's pure and white 4 00:00:46,114 --> 00:00:50,471 On the earth rich and brown 5 00:00:50,714 --> 00:00:53,547 Just another Sunday morning 6 00:00:53,794 --> 00:00:58,504 In my quiet mountain town 7 00:01:01,874 --> 00:01:03,944 The sun is shining And the grass is green 8 00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:06,071 Under the three feet of snow I mean 9 00:01:06,314 --> 00:01:09,511 This is the day When it's hard to wear a frown 10 00:01:09,754 --> 00:01:11,710 All the happy people stop To say hello 11 00:01:11,954 --> 00:01:14,514 - Out of my way! - Even though the temperature's low 12 00:01:14,754 --> 00:01:16,710 It's a perfect Sunday morning 13 00:01:16,954 --> 00:01:18,785 In my quiet mountain town 14 00:01:19,314 --> 00:01:20,747 Well, good morning, Stan. 15 00:01:20,994 --> 00:01:23,030 - Mom, can I have $8 to see a movie? - A movie? 16 00:01:23,234 --> 00:01:25,907 It'll be the best movie ever. A foreign film from Canada. 17 00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:28,952 - All right. But be back for supper. - Thanks, Mom. 18 00:01:29,954 --> 00:01:31,785 SINGING: Oh, what a picture-perfect child 19 00:01:32,034 --> 00:01:33,990 Just like Jesus he's tender and mild 20 00:01:34,234 --> 00:01:37,510 He'd wear a smile While he wore a thorny crown 21 00:01:37,754 --> 00:01:39,984 What an angel with a heart So sweet and sure 22 00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:42,350 And a mind so open and pure 23 00:01:42,554 --> 00:01:46,593 Thank God we live In this quiet redneck mountain town 24 00:01:47,034 --> 00:01:48,945 STAN: Dude! Dude, wake up! 25 00:01:51,874 --> 00:01:53,546 STAN: Kenny, come on! 26 00:01:54,554 --> 00:01:57,114 The Terrance and Phillip movie is out. You wanna come? 27 00:01:58,474 --> 00:01:59,987 Where do you think you're going? 28 00:02:00,274 --> 00:02:01,229 (KENNY MUMBLES) 29 00:02:01,474 --> 00:02:03,271 You have to go to church! 30 00:02:04,474 --> 00:02:06,624 Well, fine. Go ahead and miss church. 31 00:02:06,914 --> 00:02:09,872 When you die and go to hell, you can answer to Satan! 32 00:02:10,834 --> 00:02:11,823 KENNY: Okay. 33 00:02:12,114 --> 00:02:13,786 STAN SINGS: You can see your breath Hanging in the air 34 00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:15,990 You see homeless people But you just don 't care 35 00:02:16,234 --> 00:02:19,351 It's a sea of smiles In which we'd be glad to drown 36 00:02:20,034 --> 00:02:22,264 (KENNY MUMBLES) 37 00:02:24,114 --> 00:02:25,627 That's right! It's Sunday morning 38 00:02:25,874 --> 00:02:29,469 In our quiet little White-bread redneck mountain town 39 00:02:31,434 --> 00:02:33,902 - Ready, Ike? Kick the baby! - Don't kick the baby. 40 00:02:34,114 --> 00:02:35,433 Kick the baby. 41 00:02:36,594 --> 00:02:41,110 Ike, you broke another window! That's a bad baby. Bad baby! 42 00:02:41,354 --> 00:02:42,673 We're going to the Terrance and Phillip movie. 43 00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:44,790 Oh, my God! 44 00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:46,626 Kyle, where are you going? 45 00:02:46,874 --> 00:02:49,308 - We're going ice-skating. - Take your brother. 46 00:02:49,514 --> 00:02:51,505 He's not even my real brother. He's adopted. 47 00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:52,664 Do as I say! 48 00:02:52,914 --> 00:02:54,029 Okay, I'm sorry. 49 00:02:55,954 --> 00:02:57,910 SINGING: Look at those frail and fragile boys 50 00:02:58,154 --> 00:03:00,190 It really gets me down 51 00:03:00,434 --> 00:03:04,268 The world is such a rotten place And city life's a complete disgrace 52 00:03:04,514 --> 00:03:06,709 That's why I moved to This redneck meshuggenah 53 00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:10,993 Quiet mountain town 54 00:03:12,394 --> 00:03:14,544 Ike! Bad baby! 55 00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:16,432 ANNOUNCER ON TV: Brought to you by Snacky Smores... 56 00:03:16,634 --> 00:03:18,511 ...the fun of s 'mores in a cookie. 57 00:03:18,754 --> 00:03:20,312 Mom, somebody's at the door! 58 00:03:20,554 --> 00:03:22,784 - Coming, hon. - I can't see the TV! 59 00:03:23,034 --> 00:03:26,106 It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by wild boars... 60 00:03:26,354 --> 00:03:27,992 ...and the world is glad to be rid of him. 61 00:03:28,234 --> 00:03:30,031 Eric, it's your little friends. 62 00:03:30,954 --> 00:03:31,989 What are you doing here? 63 00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:34,668 Sweet, dude. Yes! 64 00:03:35,914 --> 00:03:38,303 SINGING: Off to the movies we shall go 65 00:03:38,554 --> 00:03:40,829 Where we learn everything That we know 66 00:03:41,034 --> 00:03:44,788 'Cause the movies teach us What our parents don 't have time to say 67 00:03:44,994 --> 00:03:47,349 And this movie's gonna Make our lives complete 68 00:03:47,834 --> 00:03:50,985 - 'Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet - Super sweet. 69 00:03:51,394 --> 00:03:55,831 Thank God we live in the quiet little Redneck Podunk white trash 70 00:03:56,074 --> 00:03:59,032 U. S.A. 71 00:04:00,394 --> 00:04:03,352 Can I have five tickets to Terrance and Phillip Asses of Fire? 72 00:04:03,954 --> 00:04:05,148 No. 73 00:04:06,994 --> 00:04:07,790 What do you mean? 74 00:04:08,034 --> 00:04:11,629 Asses of Fire is rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. 75 00:04:11,874 --> 00:04:13,910 You must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. 76 00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:16,190 - Why? - This movie has naughty language! 77 00:04:16,434 --> 00:04:17,264 Next, please. 78 00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:20,864 - This can't be happening. - We have to see it. 79 00:04:21,074 --> 00:04:23,030 Screw it. It probably isn't good anyway. 80 00:04:23,234 --> 00:04:25,464 Cartman, what do you mean? You love Terrance and Phillip. 81 00:04:25,714 --> 00:04:27,386 But the animation's all crappy. 82 00:04:29,874 --> 00:04:31,227 Wait. I've got an idea. 83 00:04:31,954 --> 00:04:34,752 Hi. I want six tickets to Asses of Fire. 84 00:04:35,034 --> 00:04:37,070 This movie may not be appropriate for the little ones. 85 00:04:37,314 --> 00:04:39,350 He says this movie isn't appropriate for you. 86 00:04:39,634 --> 00:04:42,068 Mr. Homeless Guy, if you don't want $ 10... 87 00:04:42,274 --> 00:04:44,310 ...to buy a bottle of vodka, then be my guest. 88 00:04:44,594 --> 00:04:45,663 Six tickets, please. 89 00:04:49,354 --> 00:04:51,310 - Let me have some candy. - Let's see. 90 00:04:51,514 --> 00:04:52,947 I don't have any Jewish candy. 91 00:04:53,194 --> 00:04:54,991 Like you need all that chocolate, fat boy! 92 00:04:55,994 --> 00:04:57,063 The movie's starting. 93 00:05:01,914 --> 00:05:02,710 Hooray! 94 00:05:02,914 --> 00:05:06,350 Terrance, what did the Spanish priest say to the Iranian gynecologist? 95 00:05:06,594 --> 00:05:07,947 I don 't know, Phillip. What? 96 00:05:08,234 --> 00:05:09,303 (FARTS) 97 00:05:10,834 --> 00:05:12,187 Where do they find this stuff? 98 00:05:12,434 --> 00:05:14,186 You're such a pig-fucker, Phillip. 99 00:05:15,034 --> 00:05:15,830 What did he say? 100 00:05:16,034 --> 00:05:17,626 Why'd you call me a pig-fucker? 101 00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:20,667 Well, let's see. First of all, you fuck pigs. 102 00:05:20,874 --> 00:05:21,670 Oh, yeah. 103 00:05:22,754 --> 00:05:24,984 TERRANCE: Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch. 104 00:05:26,474 --> 00:05:27,873 You shit-faced cockmaster. 105 00:05:28,074 --> 00:05:28,950 Wow! 106 00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,712 "Shit-faced cockmaster." 107 00:05:30,954 --> 00:05:32,353 You donkey-raping shit-eater. 108 00:05:32,594 --> 00:05:33,583 "Donkey-raping shit-eater." 109 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,392 "Donkey-raping shit-eater." 110 00:05:35,674 --> 00:05:38,632 - You'd fuck your uncle! - You'd fuck your uncle! 111 00:05:39,194 --> 00:05:41,264 SINGING: Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker 112 00:05:41,514 --> 00:05:44,074 You're a cocksucking Ass-licking Uncle Fucker 113 00:05:44,354 --> 00:05:47,187 Yes, it's true Nobody fucks uncles quite like you 114 00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,425 Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker 115 00:05:49,674 --> 00:05:52,188 You're the one that fucked your uncle Uncle Fucker 116 00:05:52,434 --> 00:05:55,426 You don 't eat or mow the lawn You fuck your uncle all day long 117 00:05:56,914 --> 00:05:59,064 (FARTING TO MUSIC) 118 00:06:06,514 --> 00:06:08,027 What's going on here? 119 00:06:08,274 --> 00:06:10,424 (FARTING TO MUSIC) 120 00:06:10,714 --> 00:06:12,989 - What garbage. - What do you expect? They're Canadian. 121 00:06:17,874 --> 00:06:19,671 PEOPLE SING: Uncle Fucker Uncle Fucker, Uncle Fucker 122 00:06:19,914 --> 00:06:21,427 Uncle Fucker 123 00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,471 Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker 124 00:06:24,754 --> 00:06:27,188 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle Fucker 125 00:06:27,434 --> 00:06:30,585 - You're an uncle-fucker I must say - You fucked your uncle yesterday 126 00:06:30,954 --> 00:06:34,993 Uncle Fucker That's U-N-C-L-E fuck you 127 00:06:35,234 --> 00:06:36,952 Uncle Fucker 128 00:06:37,354 --> 00:06:38,150 Suck my balls. 129 00:06:42,474 --> 00:06:45,864 - That movie was fucking sweet! - You bet your fucking ass it was! 130 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:47,672 Fuck, I wanna be just like them. 131 00:06:47,914 --> 00:06:49,586 Wait, where's your guardian? 132 00:06:50,394 --> 00:06:53,989 I knew it! You paid a homeless guy to get you in, didn't you? 133 00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:56,828 Fuck off, you donkey-raping shit-eater. 134 00:06:57,154 --> 00:06:59,668 KYLE SINGS: Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker 135 00:06:59,914 --> 00:07:02,633 BO YS SING: You're an ass-licking Ball-sucking uncle-fucker 136 00:07:11,074 --> 00:07:12,393 Where have you been all day? 137 00:07:12,674 --> 00:07:15,507 Nowhere. We just went to go see the Terrance and Phillip movie. 138 00:07:17,314 --> 00:07:18,144 CLYDE: How'd you get in? 139 00:07:18,434 --> 00:07:20,743 Stop crowding us, shit-faced cockmasters! 140 00:07:20,954 --> 00:07:22,069 Wow! 141 00:07:22,314 --> 00:07:24,384 You're all ass-ramming uncle-fuckers. 142 00:07:24,634 --> 00:07:25,783 Ooo! 143 00:07:26,034 --> 00:07:27,183 We've got to see this movie. 144 00:07:27,434 --> 00:07:29,664 Terrance and Phillip are Canadian, just like my brother. 145 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,313 STAN SINGS: There's the girl that I like 146 00:07:34,834 --> 00:07:38,383 Tell about when Terrance called Phillip a testicle-shitting rectal wart. 147 00:07:38,634 --> 00:07:39,828 Now more than ever 148 00:07:40,074 --> 00:07:41,712 She gives me butterflies 149 00:07:41,914 --> 00:07:45,350 It makes my stomach queasy Every time she walks by 150 00:07:45,594 --> 00:07:46,913 Asshole, I'm talking to you. 151 00:07:47,154 --> 00:07:49,748 I know I can be cool If I try 152 00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:51,703 Hi, Stan. 153 00:07:51,954 --> 00:07:53,467 Gross! 154 00:07:54,114 --> 00:07:56,389 Wendy, let us try to jump the hilly brush. 155 00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:57,909 Who are you? 156 00:07:58,154 --> 00:08:01,464 Gregory. I transferred from Yardale, where I had a 4.0 grade point average. 157 00:08:02,114 --> 00:08:03,103 WEND Y: Want to skate with us? 158 00:08:03,354 --> 00:08:06,551 We've been skating all morning, laughing and talking of memories past. 159 00:08:07,234 --> 00:08:08,633 We saw the Terrance and Phillip movie. 160 00:08:10,034 --> 00:08:11,262 Try and catch me, Wendy. 161 00:08:12,914 --> 00:08:14,313 Bye, Stan. 162 00:08:18,634 --> 00:08:21,671 I saw the Terrance and Phillip movie. Who wants to touch me? 163 00:08:21,874 --> 00:08:23,592 I said, who wants to fucking touch me? 164 00:08:24,674 --> 00:08:25,470 Ooo! 165 00:08:25,674 --> 00:08:28,108 We gotta see the Terrance and Phillip movie too. 166 00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:33,192 I hate you, Kenny. 167 00:08:38,594 --> 00:08:39,913 SINGING: Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker 168 00:08:40,154 --> 00:08:42,429 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle Fucker 169 00:08:43,834 --> 00:08:45,870 MR. GARRISON: Okay, children, let's take our seats. 170 00:08:46,114 --> 00:08:48,025 We have a lot to learn today. 171 00:08:48,234 --> 00:08:49,713 We sure do, Mr. Hat. 172 00:08:50,314 --> 00:08:53,112 Let's start the day with a few new math problems. 173 00:08:53,354 --> 00:08:55,231 What is five times two? 174 00:08:56,794 --> 00:08:59,183 Don't be shy. Just give it your best shot. 175 00:09:00,274 --> 00:09:01,627 - Yes, Clyde. - 12? 176 00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:05,503 Now let's get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard. 177 00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:07,984 Anyone? Come on, don't be shy. 178 00:09:08,234 --> 00:09:10,304 I think I know the answer, Mr. Garrison. 179 00:09:10,554 --> 00:09:13,148 - Shut up, fat boy! - Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew! 180 00:09:13,394 --> 00:09:16,192 - Eric! Did you just say the F-word? - "Jew"? 181 00:09:16,474 --> 00:09:18,863 You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass. 182 00:09:19,074 --> 00:09:20,427 - Kyle! - Why the fuck not? 183 00:09:20,634 --> 00:09:22,067 - Eric! - You said "fuck" again. 184 00:09:22,274 --> 00:09:23,309 - Stanley! - Fuck! 185 00:09:24,034 --> 00:09:26,707 What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck, fuckitty, fuck. 186 00:09:26,954 --> 00:09:29,024 How would you like to go see the counselor? 187 00:09:29,314 --> 00:09:31,225 How would you like to suck my balls? 188 00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:33,753 What did you say?! 189 00:09:33,994 --> 00:09:37,350 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was... 190 00:09:37,834 --> 00:09:42,385 ..."How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?" 191 00:09:43,554 --> 00:09:44,589 Holy shit, dude. 192 00:09:47,434 --> 00:09:51,393 I'm disappointed in you boys. You should be ashamed of yourselves. 193 00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,272 I've called in your mothers... 194 00:09:53,514 --> 00:09:54,913 - You called my mom? MR. MACKEY: That's right. 195 00:09:55,114 --> 00:09:56,103 Oh, no, dude! 196 00:09:56,394 --> 00:09:58,669 - Mr. Mackey, can I ask a question? - M'kay, what? 197 00:09:58,954 --> 00:10:00,273 What's the big fucking deal? 198 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:04,704 I want to know where you heard these horrific obscenities, m'kay? 199 00:10:04,914 --> 00:10:08,304 - Nowhere. - We heard them from Mr. Garrison before. 200 00:10:08,714 --> 00:10:11,103 I seriously doubt that Mr. Garrison ever said... 201 00:10:11,354 --> 00:10:13,788 ..."Eat penguin shit, you ass-spelunker." 202 00:10:15,154 --> 00:10:16,064 Sweet. 203 00:10:18,154 --> 00:10:19,348 Uh-oh! 204 00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:22,631 Thank you for coming on short notice. 205 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,108 This isn't like you, Stanley. 206 00:10:24,314 --> 00:10:27,431 What did my son say, Mr. Mackey? Did he say the S-word? 207 00:10:27,674 --> 00:10:29,153 No, it was worse than that. 208 00:10:29,394 --> 00:10:30,224 The F-word? 209 00:10:30,514 --> 00:10:33,586 Here's a short list of the things they've been saying. 210 00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:36,268 - Oh, dear God. - What the heck is a rim job? 211 00:10:36,514 --> 00:10:40,666 When you put your legs behind your head and have someone lick your ass. 212 00:10:42,194 --> 00:10:47,029 Tell Mr. Mackey this instant where you heard all these horrible phrases! 213 00:10:47,674 --> 00:10:49,869 We all swore ourselves to secrecy. 214 00:10:50,114 --> 00:10:51,627 - The Terrance and Phillip movie. - Dude! 215 00:10:51,874 --> 00:10:53,227 I wanna get out of here. 216 00:10:53,514 --> 00:10:55,345 Terrance and Phillip? Those Canadians? 217 00:10:55,594 --> 00:10:57,425 Excuse me. What is Terrance and Phillip? 218 00:10:57,674 --> 00:11:00,825 Terrance and Phillip are two very untalented actors from Canada. 219 00:11:01,034 --> 00:11:03,229 Nothing but foul language and toilet humor! 220 00:11:03,474 --> 00:11:07,626 I'll send a warning to parents before more children see Terrance and Phillip. 221 00:11:07,874 --> 00:11:09,353 - Everybody's fucking seen it. - Eric! 222 00:11:09,594 --> 00:11:12,870 I can't help myself. That movie has warped my fragile little mind. 223 00:11:19,874 --> 00:11:21,785 STAN SINGS: There's the girl that I like 224 00:11:23,554 --> 00:11:26,114 Over there laughing with that smart... 225 00:11:26,314 --> 00:11:28,874 You're holding up the goddamn lunch line! 226 00:11:29,554 --> 00:11:31,146 Hello, there, children. 227 00:11:31,394 --> 00:11:32,622 - Hey, Chef. - How's it going? 228 00:11:32,874 --> 00:11:33,909 - Bad. - Why bad? 229 00:11:34,154 --> 00:11:37,464 We got busted for swearing. We can't ever see that movie again. 230 00:11:37,714 --> 00:11:38,544 That's too bad. 231 00:11:38,794 --> 00:11:41,308 You should've seen Kyle when his mom showed up. He was scared. 232 00:11:41,554 --> 00:11:44,432 - Shut up, Cartman! - I'd be scared. Your mom's a bitch. 233 00:11:44,714 --> 00:11:46,147 Don't call her a bitch, you fat fuck! 234 00:11:46,434 --> 00:11:48,152 Don't call me fat, you fucking son of a bitch! 235 00:11:48,394 --> 00:11:50,703 Where did you learn to talk like that? 236 00:11:50,954 --> 00:11:52,103 CARTMAN: Pretty fucking sweet, huh? 237 00:11:52,394 --> 00:11:54,988 How do you make a woman like you more than any other guy? 238 00:11:55,474 --> 00:11:57,942 That's easy. You just gotta find the clitoris. 239 00:11:58,394 --> 00:11:59,509 - Huh? - Oops! 240 00:11:59,714 --> 00:12:01,067 What does "find the clitoris" mean? 241 00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:02,707 Forget I said anything. 242 00:12:02,954 --> 00:12:04,785 Move along. You're holding up the line. 243 00:12:05,034 --> 00:12:07,104 Do you know where I can find the clitoris? 244 00:12:07,354 --> 00:12:09,470 - The what? - Is that like finding Jesus? 245 00:12:09,674 --> 00:12:10,948 MR. MACKEY OVER P. A: Attention, students. 246 00:12:11,194 --> 00:12:14,027 We are now enforcing a new dress code at South Park Elementary. 247 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,589 Terrance and Phillip shirts are not allowed in school. 248 00:12:16,874 --> 00:12:20,469 Anyone wearing a Terrance and Phillip shirt is to be sent home immediately. 249 00:12:21,754 --> 00:12:23,153 KIDS: Hooray! 250 00:12:27,434 --> 00:12:30,710 The Canadian film, Asses of Fire, is number one at the box office. 251 00:12:30,914 --> 00:12:32,632 Is the film destroying American youth? 252 00:12:32,874 --> 00:12:35,183 Here with a special report is a midget in a bikini. 253 00:12:35,434 --> 00:12:38,870 The effects of the Canadian comedy are far-reaching indeed. 254 00:12:39,114 --> 00:12:43,312 All over America, children seem to be influenced, like at this spelling bee. 255 00:12:43,554 --> 00:12:45,431 This is for the silver medal. 256 00:12:45,754 --> 00:12:47,506 Spell "forensics." 257 00:12:47,874 --> 00:12:49,990 Why should I fucking have to spell "forensics"? 258 00:12:51,314 --> 00:12:54,272 Here you go. S-U-C-K-M-Y-A-S-S. 259 00:12:54,514 --> 00:12:55,708 Forensics. 260 00:12:55,954 --> 00:12:59,867 The devastating impact of the duo can also be seen with their hit song... 261 00:13:00,074 --> 00:13:02,190 ..."Shut Your Fucking Face, Uncle Fucker." 262 00:13:02,474 --> 00:13:04,430 RAPPING: Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker 263 00:13:04,954 --> 00:13:08,105 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle Fucker 264 00:13:08,674 --> 00:13:10,153 I told you that we won 't stop 265 00:13:10,434 --> 00:13:11,833 I told you that we won 't stop 266 00:13:12,074 --> 00:13:13,029 Back to you, Tom. 267 00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:14,633 Thanks. Shocking report. 268 00:13:14,834 --> 00:13:17,109 The controversy began in the town of South Park... 269 00:13:17,354 --> 00:13:19,504 ...where the PTA is trying to ban the movie. 270 00:13:19,754 --> 00:13:23,303 With us tonight is the head of the PTA, Sheila Broflovski. 271 00:13:23,514 --> 00:13:26,108 - And the Canadian minister of movies. - Thanks for having me. 272 00:13:26,314 --> 00:13:29,670 Parents are concerned about your country's entertainment. 273 00:13:29,914 --> 00:13:31,711 The film isn 't intended for children... 274 00:13:31,954 --> 00:13:33,706 But of course children will see it. 275 00:13:33,954 --> 00:13:36,514 Can I finish? We're surprised by your outrage. 276 00:13:36,754 --> 00:13:39,314 - You just don 't care! - Can I finish? Hello? 277 00:13:39,554 --> 00:13:42,022 The U. S. Has graphic violence on TV all the time. 278 00:13:42,234 --> 00:13:44,509 We can 't believe a movie with foul language pisses you off. 279 00:13:44,714 --> 00:13:46,511 - Because it's evil! - Can I finish?! 280 00:13:46,754 --> 00:13:48,426 Please can I finish?! 281 00:13:49,354 --> 00:13:50,309 Okay, I'm finished. 282 00:13:50,594 --> 00:13:53,904 This film isn 't the first troublesome thing to come out of Canada. 283 00:13:54,154 --> 00:13:55,507 Let's not forget Bryan Adams. 284 00:13:55,714 --> 00:13:58,467 Our government's apologized for Bryan Adams on several occasions. 285 00:13:58,674 --> 00:14:02,303 You Canadians are all the same, with your beady eyes and flapping heads. 286 00:14:02,554 --> 00:14:04,067 I resent that! I find that racist... 287 00:14:04,314 --> 00:14:06,464 Our children are now addicted to your puke! 288 00:14:06,674 --> 00:14:07,629 You are a racist! 289 00:14:07,874 --> 00:14:12,584 It'll take us weeks to erase the damage this film has done to our children. 290 00:14:14,914 --> 00:14:18,384 Kids, I want to welcome you to rehabilitation, m'kay? 291 00:14:18,634 --> 00:14:21,023 Your mothers insisted you be taken from your schoolwork... 292 00:14:21,314 --> 00:14:23,703 ...and placed into rehab to learn not to swear. 293 00:14:23,954 --> 00:14:25,467 I don't belong with these rogues. 294 00:14:25,674 --> 00:14:28,108 I attended Yardale and had a 4.0 grade point average. 295 00:14:28,354 --> 00:14:30,663 - You're a fucking faggot. - M'kay, you see? 296 00:14:30,914 --> 00:14:34,793 This is what I'm talking about. We have to get you off of foul language. 297 00:14:35,034 --> 00:14:37,150 - How are we gonna do that? - Listen here. 298 00:14:37,754 --> 00:14:40,109 RECITING: There are times when you get Suckered in 299 00:14:40,554 --> 00:14:43,830 By drugs and alcohol And sex with women, m 'kay? 300 00:14:44,074 --> 00:14:46,224 But it's when you Do these things too much 301 00:14:46,514 --> 00:14:51,065 That you've become an addict And must get back in touch 302 00:14:51,434 --> 00:14:54,187 SINGING: You can do it It's all up to you, m 'kay 303 00:14:55,034 --> 00:14:58,424 With a little plan You can change your life today 304 00:14:58,754 --> 00:15:00,870 Don 't spend your life Addicted to smack 305 00:15:01,114 --> 00:15:02,866 Homeless Giving handjobs for crack 306 00:15:03,074 --> 00:15:06,669 Follow my plan And very soon you will say 307 00:15:06,914 --> 00:15:08,233 It's easy, m 'kay 308 00:15:09,114 --> 00:15:10,513 Instead of "ass" say "buns" 309 00:15:10,714 --> 00:15:12,909 Like "kiss my buns" Or "You're a buns-hole" 310 00:15:13,114 --> 00:15:14,513 Instead of "shit" say "poo" 311 00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:16,909 As in "bull poo" And "This poo is cold" 312 00:15:17,114 --> 00:15:18,388 With "bitch" drop the "T" 313 00:15:18,634 --> 00:15:20,943 'Cause "bich" is Latin For generosity 314 00:15:21,194 --> 00:15:22,309 Don 't say "fuck" anymore 315 00:15:22,514 --> 00:15:24,630 'Cause "fuck" is the worst word That you can say 316 00:15:24,914 --> 00:15:26,870 So just use the word "m 'kay" 317 00:15:27,114 --> 00:15:29,548 We can do it It's all up to us, m 'kay 318 00:15:30,754 --> 00:15:32,745 With a little plan We can change our lives today 319 00:15:32,994 --> 00:15:34,393 You can change it today 320 00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,704 Don 't spend your life Shooting up in the trash 321 00:15:36,954 --> 00:15:38,706 Homeless Giving handjobs for cash 322 00:15:38,954 --> 00:15:41,593 Follow this plan And very soon you will say 323 00:15:41,834 --> 00:15:43,825 It's easy, m 'kay 324 00:15:44,594 --> 00:15:45,390 Step one 325 00:15:45,634 --> 00:15:47,272 - Say "buns" - Like "Kiss my buns" 326 00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:48,629 Or "You're a buns-hole" 327 00:15:48,874 --> 00:15:50,102 - Step two - Instead of "shit" say "poo" 328 00:15:50,314 --> 00:15:52,703 - As in "bull poo" - And "This poo is cold" 329 00:15:52,954 --> 00:15:54,228 - Step three - With "bitch" drop the "T" 330 00:15:54,434 --> 00:15:56,629 'Cause "bich" is Latin for generosity 331 00:15:56,874 --> 00:15:58,227 - Step four - Don 't say "fuck" anymore 332 00:15:58,514 --> 00:16:00,311 It's the worst word You can say 333 00:16:00,554 --> 00:16:02,226 "Fuck" is the worst word You can say 334 00:16:02,434 --> 00:16:04,743 We shouldn 't say "fuck" Fuck no! 335 00:16:04,994 --> 00:16:06,143 You're cured You can go 336 00:16:06,434 --> 00:16:08,390 Don 't spend your life Shooting up in the trash 337 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,386 Homeless Giving handjobs for cash 338 00:16:10,634 --> 00:16:13,546 Follow this plan And very soon you will say 339 00:16:13,754 --> 00:16:15,267 It's easy, m 'kay 340 00:16:26,754 --> 00:16:31,270 Now you're cured. Take the rest of the afternoon off for personal reflection. 341 00:16:31,474 --> 00:16:35,228 Find your own constructive way to better yourself, m'kay? 342 00:16:37,114 --> 00:16:39,309 I hope you've learned something through this experience. 343 00:16:39,554 --> 00:16:42,751 I did. I learned that you are a boner-biting, dick-fart fuck-face. 344 00:16:44,794 --> 00:16:46,591 Want to see the northern lights? 345 00:16:48,994 --> 00:16:51,827 You burned yourself to death by lighting your fart. 346 00:16:52,034 --> 00:16:53,865 I sure did, Phillip. 347 00:16:54,634 --> 00:16:58,070 Uncle Fucker! Good night. 348 00:16:59,074 --> 00:17:01,588 Oh, man. This movie rules. 349 00:17:02,554 --> 00:17:05,387 Man, that movie gets better every time I see it. 350 00:17:05,674 --> 00:17:08,063 That part about lighting farts is bullshit. 351 00:17:08,314 --> 00:17:09,667 - You can't do that. KENNY: Yes, you can. 352 00:17:10,034 --> 00:17:11,023 No way. 353 00:17:11,274 --> 00:17:12,070 (KENNY MUMBLES) 354 00:17:12,314 --> 00:17:15,784 Okay, Kenny. I'll bet you $ 100 you can't light a fart on fire. 355 00:17:22,034 --> 00:17:23,990 - Holy shit, dude! - Look out! 356 00:17:25,194 --> 00:17:26,627 Shit! Shit! 357 00:17:26,874 --> 00:17:28,705 Help! Somebody do something! 358 00:17:28,954 --> 00:17:30,228 This stick is on fire! 359 00:17:36,194 --> 00:17:37,627 Oh, my God! You killed Kenny! 360 00:17:37,834 --> 00:17:38,744 You bastard! 361 00:17:39,074 --> 00:17:41,349 I guess you can light a fart on fire. 362 00:17:43,994 --> 00:17:46,224 DOCTOR: Load that IV with 70cc's of sodium Pentothal. 363 00:17:46,474 --> 00:17:47,384 NURSE: We called the parents. 364 00:17:47,714 --> 00:17:50,547 Our moms will find out we went to the movie again. 365 00:17:50,874 --> 00:17:51,909 DOCTOR: Vacuum! 366 00:17:52,234 --> 00:17:54,190 Try to untangle his trachea and esophagus. 367 00:17:55,314 --> 00:17:57,032 DOCTOR: No, that doesn't go there! 368 00:17:59,674 --> 00:18:01,312 - Gross, Stan! - That's sick! 369 00:18:01,594 --> 00:18:03,073 NURSE: Watch his liver! ASSISTANT: I'll get it. 370 00:18:04,194 --> 00:18:06,469 DOCTOR: We have little time left. We'll lose him soon. 371 00:18:06,754 --> 00:18:07,789 His heart stopped. 372 00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:10,031 Get it out of there. Zap this, quick! 373 00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:13,828 Who's making a potato? 374 00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:15,543 My bad. I missed lunch. 375 00:18:15,754 --> 00:18:18,222 Damn it, I'm not gonna lose this kid! 376 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,470 DOCTOR: Close him up. We've done all we can. 377 00:18:20,714 --> 00:18:23,103 The rest is up to God. 378 00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:26,833 DOCTOR: Kenny, can you hear me? KENNY: Shit, dude. 379 00:18:27,194 --> 00:18:28,104 How are you feeling? 380 00:18:29,754 --> 00:18:31,870 Great. Son, I have some bad news. 381 00:18:32,074 --> 00:18:35,783 We replaced your heart with a potato. You have three seconds to live. 382 00:18:37,954 --> 00:18:40,548 - Fucking weak, dude! - Oh, my God. They killed Kenny! 383 00:18:40,794 --> 00:18:41,783 You bastards! 384 00:18:42,034 --> 00:18:43,103 Damn it! 385 00:18:43,354 --> 00:18:46,664 It never gets any easier! 386 00:18:49,674 --> 00:18:52,268 I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him $ 100. 387 00:18:52,514 --> 00:18:55,745 - It's not your fault. - No, I'm stoked I don't have to pay. 388 00:18:55,994 --> 00:18:59,191 That's real nice! He was your friend, you fat fuck! 389 00:18:59,434 --> 00:19:02,153 So, boys, you saw that movie again? 390 00:19:02,434 --> 00:19:04,709 - Yes. - Well, Kyle, I have had it! 391 00:19:04,954 --> 00:19:07,104 You are grounded for the next two weeks! 392 00:19:08,194 --> 00:19:09,024 Grounded? 393 00:19:09,234 --> 00:19:10,713 And you, Stan. Come on. 394 00:19:10,914 --> 00:19:12,905 And you're grounded for three weeks, Eric. 395 00:19:13,154 --> 00:19:15,065 Why am I grounded more? That's bullshit. 396 00:19:15,314 --> 00:19:16,224 What, what, what?! 397 00:19:16,434 --> 00:19:18,823 What was that word, young man? 398 00:19:32,314 --> 00:19:34,828 MALE SINGER: Little boy at peace 399 00:19:35,234 --> 00:19:36,110 What is this place 400 00:19:36,954 --> 00:19:38,706 Beyond the stars 401 00:19:39,354 --> 00:19:41,584 Open up your eyes 402 00:19:42,034 --> 00:19:43,433 What are these things 403 00:19:43,674 --> 00:19:45,312 You're moving toward 404 00:19:45,914 --> 00:19:47,984 Head so full of wonder 405 00:19:48,874 --> 00:19:50,990 Worries in the past 406 00:19:51,274 --> 00:19:53,663 Could it be That you are free at last 407 00:19:55,994 --> 00:19:56,949 No! 408 00:20:03,354 --> 00:20:04,992 Little boy, you're going to hell 409 00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:08,712 You said bad words, threw rocks at birds Now this is your hotel 410 00:20:08,914 --> 00:20:11,303 This ain 't Disneyland, it's hell 411 00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,825 Little boy, it's time for you to pay 412 00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:17,948 For not going to church And staring at boobs every day 413 00:20:18,194 --> 00:20:20,788 Thought you were in bed Instead you're in hell 414 00:20:22,314 --> 00:20:25,306 No, hell isn 't good Hell isn 't good, hell 415 00:20:26,274 --> 00:20:29,152 No, hell isn 't good Hell isn 't good, yeah 416 00:20:30,594 --> 00:20:32,073 Fuck-face, have you seen Gracie? 417 00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:35,624 There is orderliness in the universe. 418 00:20:48,634 --> 00:20:51,353 Parents, our children are out of control! 419 00:20:51,594 --> 00:20:55,223 This is what happens when toilet humor is allowed to run rampant! 420 00:20:55,434 --> 00:20:57,231 That's right. Kenny set himself on fire... 421 00:20:57,434 --> 00:21:00,187 ...because he saw Terrance and Phillip do it in that dirty movie. 422 00:21:00,394 --> 00:21:03,272 We must stop dirty language from getting to our children's ears. 423 00:21:03,514 --> 00:21:05,505 We must go fight the source of it! 424 00:21:05,714 --> 00:21:07,113 But what is the source? 425 00:21:07,314 --> 00:21:09,066 That's easy. 426 00:21:09,314 --> 00:21:11,908 SINGING: Times have changed Our kids are getting worse 427 00:21:12,114 --> 00:21:14,912 They won 't obey their parents They just want to fart and curse 428 00:21:15,114 --> 00:21:16,433 Should we blame the government 429 00:21:16,634 --> 00:21:17,908 Or blame society 430 00:21:18,114 --> 00:21:20,423 Or should we blame the images on TV 431 00:21:20,634 --> 00:21:22,226 No, blame Canada! 432 00:21:22,434 --> 00:21:23,469 Blame Canada 433 00:21:23,714 --> 00:21:26,751 With all their beady little eyes And flappin ' heads so full of lies 434 00:21:26,954 --> 00:21:28,103 Blame Canada 435 00:21:28,314 --> 00:21:29,633 Blame Canada 436 00:21:29,834 --> 00:21:32,223 - We need to form a full assault - It's Canada 's fault 437 00:21:33,714 --> 00:21:35,909 Don 't blame me for my son Stan 438 00:21:36,154 --> 00:21:39,191 He saw the darn cartoon And now he's off to join the Klan 439 00:21:39,394 --> 00:21:41,862 And my boy Eric once Had my picture on his shelf 440 00:21:42,114 --> 00:21:44,389 But now when I see him He tells me to fuck myself 441 00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:46,027 Well, blame Canada 442 00:21:46,234 --> 00:21:47,553 Blame Canada 443 00:21:47,754 --> 00:21:50,314 It seems that everything's gone wrong Since Canada came along 444 00:21:53,954 --> 00:21:56,912 They're not even a real country anyway 445 00:21:57,114 --> 00:22:00,106 My son could've been a doctor Or a lawyer rich and true 446 00:22:00,314 --> 00:22:03,112 Instead he burned up like a piggy On a barbecue 447 00:22:03,314 --> 00:22:04,667 Should we blame the matches 448 00:22:04,874 --> 00:22:07,991 Should we blame the fire Or the doctors who allowed him to expire 449 00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:10,105 Heck, no! Blame Canada 450 00:22:10,314 --> 00:22:11,713 Blame Canada 451 00:22:11,954 --> 00:22:14,912 - With all their hockey hullabaloo - And that bitch Anne Murray too 452 00:22:19,034 --> 00:22:21,673 The smut and trash we must bash The laughs and fun must be undone 453 00:22:21,914 --> 00:22:23,188 We must lament and cause a fuss 454 00:22:23,394 --> 00:22:26,352 Before somebody thinks of blaming us 455 00:22:32,754 --> 00:22:35,029 SHELLEY: All right, you turds, listen up! 456 00:22:35,234 --> 00:22:38,465 Your moms are at a meeting and they put me in charge of you. 457 00:22:38,714 --> 00:22:41,467 But you're still grounded, so you're not allowed to have any fun! 458 00:22:41,714 --> 00:22:42,749 Any questions? 459 00:22:42,954 --> 00:22:44,228 Shelley, where's the clitoris? 460 00:22:46,674 --> 00:22:49,108 You all sit there and keep your mouths shut... 461 00:22:49,314 --> 00:22:52,784 ...while I go listen to my Britney Spears records. 462 00:22:54,514 --> 00:22:55,344 Okay, it's clear! 463 00:22:57,474 --> 00:22:59,704 Our next guests have the number one movie in the world. 464 00:22:59,954 --> 00:23:02,514 Please welcome Terrance and Phillip! 465 00:23:05,794 --> 00:23:07,512 - Hello, Conan. - Hello, Brooke Shields. 466 00:23:07,714 --> 00:23:11,707 Some people claim that your Canadian humor is just immature fart jokes. 467 00:23:11,954 --> 00:23:14,866 That's not true. Take this classic Canadian joke. 468 00:23:16,114 --> 00:23:17,991 - Excuse me, Terrance. - Yes, Phillip? 469 00:23:20,314 --> 00:23:21,144 Gosh darn it! 470 00:23:22,634 --> 00:23:24,431 - Good one. Cheers. - Cheers, fuck-face. 471 00:23:24,634 --> 00:23:26,306 You can't say that on TV. 472 00:23:26,514 --> 00:23:28,550 Now Terrance smells like my ass. 473 00:23:28,794 --> 00:23:32,025 I farted once on the set of Blue Lagoon. 474 00:23:35,554 --> 00:23:37,829 Does it make you nervous to be in America? 475 00:23:38,074 --> 00:23:41,225 Our organizations want you arrested for destroying children. 476 00:23:41,434 --> 00:23:44,073 - They'd have to find us first. - You're right. Now! 477 00:23:45,954 --> 00:23:50,391 Mothers Against Canada is placing you under citizen's arrest! 478 00:23:50,594 --> 00:23:52,152 - Mom? - What's going on? 479 00:23:52,354 --> 00:23:54,231 We have a court order for your arrest! 480 00:23:54,434 --> 00:23:55,833 Phillip, we've been ambushed! 481 00:23:56,034 --> 00:23:57,433 Here you go, Conan. 482 00:23:57,634 --> 00:24:00,706 This little scrotum-sucker deceived us! You are a bad man! 483 00:24:00,914 --> 00:24:01,824 Don't listen to them. 484 00:24:02,034 --> 00:24:04,389 You loved our movie, Conan. We watched it together. 485 00:24:04,594 --> 00:24:05,913 Remember? You laughed. 486 00:24:06,154 --> 00:24:08,065 What have I done? 487 00:24:12,434 --> 00:24:13,708 (CAR ALARM) 488 00:24:14,794 --> 00:24:15,624 (TURNS ALARM OFF) 489 00:24:15,834 --> 00:24:18,951 Did you see that? They arrested Terrance and Phillip! 490 00:24:24,154 --> 00:24:25,064 As Canadian ambassador... 491 00:24:25,314 --> 00:24:28,511 ...I condemn America's actions in apprehending Terrance and Phillip. 492 00:24:29,554 --> 00:24:32,705 The entire economy of Canada relies on Terrance and Phillip. 493 00:24:32,914 --> 00:24:34,506 Without them, we'd have a recession. 494 00:24:35,754 --> 00:24:37,631 What say you, Mr. American Ambassador? 495 00:24:40,594 --> 00:24:41,549 Fuck Canada! 496 00:24:41,754 --> 00:24:42,823 Fuck you, buddy! 497 00:24:43,034 --> 00:24:44,626 Terrance and Phillip will not be released. 498 00:24:44,834 --> 00:24:47,553 They'll be put on trial for corrupting America's youth. 499 00:24:47,794 --> 00:24:49,307 What's all the fuss about? 500 00:24:49,514 --> 00:24:53,507 The fuss is aboot taking our citizens! It's aboot not censoring our art! 501 00:24:53,714 --> 00:24:56,069 It's aboot... What's so goddamn funny? 502 00:24:56,514 --> 00:25:00,587 Nothing. Could you tell us again what your argument is all about? 503 00:25:00,954 --> 00:25:04,264 This is not aboot diplomacy. This is aboot dignity. It's aboot respect. 504 00:25:04,514 --> 00:25:05,913 Aboot realizing that humor... 505 00:25:07,434 --> 00:25:10,949 Release them, or we'll give you something to cry aboot! 506 00:25:23,754 --> 00:25:26,222 Pilot to bombardier. We're nearing the target. 507 00:25:26,474 --> 00:25:27,827 Bomb's ready, buddy. 508 00:25:28,074 --> 00:25:29,393 (PHONE RINGS) 509 00:25:29,954 --> 00:25:31,387 No, this is Billy Baldwin. 510 00:25:31,634 --> 00:25:34,467 If you want Daniel Baldwin, call his extension, stupid! 511 00:25:34,714 --> 00:25:37,308 Alec, do you know what sucks about being a Baldwin? 512 00:25:37,514 --> 00:25:39,869 - No. What? - Nothing! 513 00:25:46,674 --> 00:25:48,073 BILLY: You missed me! 514 00:25:51,634 --> 00:25:56,071 Your mothers are making me throw away my lesson plan and teach theirs. 515 00:25:56,314 --> 00:25:58,384 How come our moms arrested Terrance and Phillip? 516 00:25:58,634 --> 00:25:59,703 Yeah. 517 00:25:59,914 --> 00:26:03,270 Your moms are just upset. They're probably all on their periods. 518 00:26:03,514 --> 00:26:04,390 Not cool. 519 00:26:04,634 --> 00:26:07,592 Wendy and I think that was a sexist statement. 520 00:26:07,834 --> 00:26:11,509 Sorry, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. 521 00:26:12,274 --> 00:26:15,107 Anyway, children, let's start off with some vocabulary. 522 00:26:15,354 --> 00:26:16,389 MR. MACKEY OVER P. A: Attention, students. 523 00:26:16,634 --> 00:26:17,464 What now? 524 00:26:17,714 --> 00:26:22,071 Come to the gymnasium immediately for a special announcement. 525 00:26:24,474 --> 00:26:26,783 - What's going on, Chef? - Something big, children. 526 00:26:27,034 --> 00:26:29,025 I can't find the clitoris. You have to help. 527 00:26:29,274 --> 00:26:30,593 Stan, the clitoris is... 528 00:26:30,794 --> 00:26:32,989 Take your seats. They're about to announce it. 529 00:26:34,474 --> 00:26:35,953 This is a state of emergency. 530 00:26:36,194 --> 00:26:39,584 Now to the White House for an announcement from the President. 531 00:26:39,954 --> 00:26:41,228 My fellow Americans... 532 00:26:41,474 --> 00:26:45,990 ...at 5 a.m. Today, a day which will live in infamy... 533 00:26:46,234 --> 00:26:49,146 ...the Canadians have bombed the Baldwins. 534 00:26:49,514 --> 00:26:54,030 In response to this, the U. S. Has declared war on Canada. 535 00:26:56,154 --> 00:26:57,712 - Oh, no. - War? 536 00:26:57,954 --> 00:27:00,752 - No, Gregory, no! - This is bad. Hold on to me. 537 00:27:00,994 --> 00:27:02,507 All the Baldwins are dead? 538 00:27:02,754 --> 00:27:05,427 It's time for us to send a message to Canadians. 539 00:27:05,634 --> 00:27:08,831 In two days, the war criminals, Terrance and Phillip... 540 00:27:09,034 --> 00:27:10,672 ...will be executed. 541 00:27:11,434 --> 00:27:12,583 They're gonna kill them? 542 00:27:12,834 --> 00:27:16,224 And now I'd like to bring up my newly appointed Secretary of Offense... 543 00:27:16,434 --> 00:27:18,231 ...Ms. Sheila Broflovski. 544 00:27:18,634 --> 00:27:19,623 Holy shit, dude! 545 00:27:19,874 --> 00:27:21,023 My fellow Americans... 546 00:27:21,234 --> 00:27:25,022 ...our neighbor to the north has abused us for the last time! 547 00:27:25,234 --> 00:27:27,270 - I have a plan... - Canadians want to fight us... 548 00:27:27,474 --> 00:27:30,307 ...because we won 't tolerate their potty-mouths. 549 00:27:30,554 --> 00:27:32,510 If it is war they want... 550 00:27:32,714 --> 00:27:35,148 ...then war they shall have! 551 00:27:37,114 --> 00:27:38,786 Dude, this is fucking weak. 552 00:27:39,034 --> 00:27:41,229 How could things be any worse? 553 00:27:51,954 --> 00:27:54,593 Fallen one, I am Satan. 554 00:27:54,834 --> 00:27:57,302 I am your god now. 555 00:27:57,554 --> 00:27:58,873 (KENNY SCREAMS) 556 00:27:59,994 --> 00:28:01,825 There is no escape. 557 00:28:05,114 --> 00:28:07,912 Now feel the delightful pain. 558 00:28:08,154 --> 00:28:09,030 SADDAM: Hey, Satan. 559 00:28:10,114 --> 00:28:13,390 Did you hear the news? A war just broke out up on Earth. 560 00:28:13,834 --> 00:28:17,065 Meet Saddam Hussein, my new partner in evil. 561 00:28:17,874 --> 00:28:19,307 You're hogging all the fun. 562 00:28:20,314 --> 00:28:22,953 Man, this is getting me so hot! 563 00:28:24,034 --> 00:28:25,706 Would you let me do my job? 564 00:28:25,954 --> 00:28:28,104 Rub my nipples while I torture this little piggy. 565 00:28:28,354 --> 00:28:30,504 Could I talk to you over here? 566 00:28:32,634 --> 00:28:35,990 I don't see why you have to belittle me in front of people like that. 567 00:28:36,234 --> 00:28:37,462 Relax, guy. 568 00:28:37,714 --> 00:28:40,182 Sometimes, I think you don't have any respect for me. 569 00:28:40,674 --> 00:28:42,232 Come here, guy. 570 00:28:43,554 --> 00:28:44,987 Who's my cream puff? 571 00:28:45,314 --> 00:28:47,430 - I am. - That's my baby. 572 00:28:51,314 --> 00:28:52,269 I don't wanna be at war. 573 00:28:52,514 --> 00:28:54,311 You think they'll kill Terrance and Phillip? 574 00:28:54,514 --> 00:28:57,472 Kyle, stop being a chicken shit and stand up to your mother. 575 00:28:57,714 --> 00:29:00,467 Smack her and say, "That's enough of your shit, you bitch!" 576 00:29:00,674 --> 00:29:02,346 Don't call my mom a bitch! 577 00:29:02,594 --> 00:29:05,904 Stop it! This isn't helping. We've gotta think. Let's see. 578 00:29:06,114 --> 00:29:09,743 - What would Brian Boitano do? - Yeah, what would Brian Boitano do? 579 00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:13,903 What's going on? 580 00:29:14,154 --> 00:29:16,588 America thinks it has the right to police the world. 581 00:29:16,834 --> 00:29:20,463 Your government will kill two Canadians, an action condemned by the U.N. 582 00:29:20,714 --> 00:29:22,147 Home of the free, indeed. 583 00:29:23,754 --> 00:29:25,392 Let's play tetherball. 584 00:29:25,594 --> 00:29:27,903 This is about freedom of speech! About censorship! 585 00:29:28,114 --> 00:29:29,229 Be more political... 586 00:29:29,434 --> 00:29:31,390 STAN SINGS: There's the girl that I like 587 00:29:33,034 --> 00:29:36,629 Now it appears That she likes another guy 588 00:29:36,834 --> 00:29:40,588 It must be because He's political and stuff 589 00:29:41,714 --> 00:29:44,182 I bet I could be political too 590 00:29:44,434 --> 00:29:46,106 What do you think, Stan? 591 00:29:47,594 --> 00:29:48,424 Damn it! 592 00:29:48,674 --> 00:29:51,427 - This is all Kyle's mom's fault. - Shut up, Cartman! 593 00:29:51,674 --> 00:29:53,232 Kyle's mom started that damn club. 594 00:29:53,474 --> 00:29:57,513 - All because she's a fat, stupid bitch. - Don't say it, Cartman! 595 00:29:57,714 --> 00:29:58,510 Well... 596 00:29:58,754 --> 00:30:00,472 Don't do it, Cartman. 597 00:30:00,794 --> 00:30:01,783 Well... 598 00:30:02,034 --> 00:30:03,672 I'm warning you! 599 00:30:04,674 --> 00:30:06,665 I'm sick of him calling my mom a... 600 00:30:06,914 --> 00:30:09,269 SINGING: Kyle's mom 's a witch The biggest bitch in the world 601 00:30:09,514 --> 00:30:12,711 She's a stupid bitch She's a bitch to all the boys and girls 602 00:30:13,234 --> 00:30:15,384 Shut your fucking mouth, Cartman! 603 00:30:15,674 --> 00:30:18,268 Monday and Tuesday she's a bitch Wednesday to Saturday she's a bitch 604 00:30:18,514 --> 00:30:22,302 On Sunday just to be different She's a super King Kamehameha bitch 605 00:30:22,674 --> 00:30:24,107 Come on, you all know the words. 606 00:30:24,354 --> 00:30:25,423 Have you met Kyle's mom 607 00:30:25,634 --> 00:30:26,908 She's the biggest bitch In the world 608 00:30:27,194 --> 00:30:28,991 She's a mean old bitch And she has stupid hair 609 00:30:29,234 --> 00:30:30,144 She's a bitch bitch bitch 610 00:30:31,634 --> 00:30:32,544 She's a stupid bitch 611 00:30:33,314 --> 00:30:35,589 Kyle's mom 's a bitch And she's just a dirty bitch 612 00:30:36,074 --> 00:30:38,668 Talk to kids around the world It might go something like this 613 00:30:38,954 --> 00:30:41,422 (NONSENSICAL LYRICS) 614 00:30:50,474 --> 00:30:51,668 Have you met Kyle's mom 615 00:30:51,914 --> 00:30:53,108 She's the biggest bitch In the world 616 00:30:53,314 --> 00:30:54,952 She's a mean old bitch And she has stupid hair 617 00:30:55,234 --> 00:30:56,064 She's a bitch bitch bitch 618 00:30:57,834 --> 00:30:58,789 She's a stupid bitch 619 00:30:59,314 --> 00:31:01,987 Kyle's mom 's a bitch And she's just a dirty bitch 620 00:31:02,274 --> 00:31:04,947 I really mean it Kyle's mom 621 00:31:05,434 --> 00:31:09,222 She's a big fat fucking bitch 622 00:31:10,194 --> 00:31:13,027 Big old fat fucking bitch Kyle's mom 623 00:31:18,874 --> 00:31:20,068 What? 624 00:31:21,514 --> 00:31:23,391 CARTMAN: Oh, fuck. 625 00:31:23,674 --> 00:31:25,824 SHEILA: Everyone, settle down. 626 00:31:26,034 --> 00:31:28,150 As we continue to send troops into Canada... 627 00:31:28,434 --> 00:31:31,710 ...M.A.C. Is also fighting the war against potty-mouths here at home. 628 00:31:31,914 --> 00:31:35,907 Here to present the V-chip is Dr. Vosknocker. 629 00:31:38,794 --> 00:31:40,785 The machinery of the V-chip is very simple. 630 00:31:40,994 --> 00:31:42,632 It is placed under the child's skin... 631 00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:46,793 ...emitting a small shock of electricity whenever an obscenity is uttered. 632 00:31:46,994 --> 00:31:50,111 Wait a minute. This chip somehow knows if the child is swearing? 633 00:31:50,314 --> 00:31:51,383 It's like a lie detector. 634 00:31:51,594 --> 00:31:54,028 Certain things happen to you when you swear, just like when you lie. 635 00:31:54,554 --> 00:31:57,512 The chip picks up on this and gives the subject a little prick. 636 00:31:57,874 --> 00:32:00,513 Patient B-5, would you step out here, please? 637 00:32:00,754 --> 00:32:03,951 Patient B-5 here has been fitted with the new V-chip. 638 00:32:04,154 --> 00:32:04,984 My head hurts. 639 00:32:05,194 --> 00:32:08,789 Don't worry about that. Now, I want you to say "doggy." 640 00:32:09,154 --> 00:32:09,984 Doggy. 641 00:32:10,194 --> 00:32:11,946 Notice that nothing happens. 642 00:32:12,154 --> 00:32:14,748 - Now say "Montana." - Montana. 643 00:32:14,994 --> 00:32:15,790 Good. 644 00:32:15,994 --> 00:32:17,222 Now, "pillow." 645 00:32:17,514 --> 00:32:18,583 Pillow. 646 00:32:18,874 --> 00:32:21,786 All right. Now I want you to say "horse-fucker." 647 00:32:22,834 --> 00:32:24,506 Go ahead, Eric. It's all right. 648 00:32:24,794 --> 00:32:26,193 Horse-fuck... 649 00:32:27,554 --> 00:32:28,987 That hurt, goddamn... 650 00:32:29,274 --> 00:32:30,070 Fuck! 651 00:32:30,314 --> 00:32:32,987 Now I'd like you to say "big, floppy donkey dick." 652 00:32:33,874 --> 00:32:36,672 Success! The child doesn't want to swear! 653 00:32:36,914 --> 00:32:38,666 This isn't fair, you sons of bitches! 654 00:32:38,914 --> 00:32:43,032 We will start putting V-chips in all our children next week! 655 00:32:45,714 --> 00:32:48,786 ANNOUNCER: Snacky Smores presents: The March of War. 656 00:32:49,114 --> 00:32:50,342 Let's hear it for our boys. 657 00:32:50,554 --> 00:32:53,910 Clinton has called them to fight the evil Canadians. 658 00:32:54,154 --> 00:32:56,463 A full-scale attack was launched on Toronto... 659 00:32:56,674 --> 00:33:00,667 ...after the Canadians ' last bombing, which devastated the Arquettes. 660 00:33:00,914 --> 00:33:03,428 For security measures, our great government is rounding up... 661 00:33:03,634 --> 00:33:06,307 ...all citizens with Canadian blood and putting them into camps. 662 00:33:06,554 --> 00:33:10,069 Canadian-Americans are to report to one of these death camps right away. 663 00:33:10,274 --> 00:33:11,673 Did I say "death camps"? 664 00:33:11,914 --> 00:33:14,303 I meant happy camps, where you will eat the finest meals... 665 00:33:14,514 --> 00:33:16,664 ...have access to fabulous doctors and exercise regularly. 666 00:33:16,994 --> 00:33:20,669 Meanwhile, war criminals Terrance and Phillip are prepped for execution. 667 00:33:20,954 --> 00:33:22,273 Their execution will take place... 668 00:33:22,554 --> 00:33:25,830 ...during a fabulous USO show, with guest celebrities, including... 669 00:33:26,034 --> 00:33:27,990 ...Big Gay Al and Winona Ryder. 670 00:33:28,194 --> 00:33:31,982 Of course, the only way to see the USO show is to sign up for the Army! 671 00:33:32,194 --> 00:33:35,823 So join the Army and kill some Canadian scum as we continue... 672 00:33:36,034 --> 00:33:39,026 ...the march of war. Eat Snacky Smores. 673 00:33:42,114 --> 00:33:46,266 We must rid ourselves of anything Canadian. 674 00:33:47,754 --> 00:33:49,710 Don't you like Terrance and Phillip anymore? 675 00:33:49,914 --> 00:33:53,384 Course not! Mommy says I hate Canadians because they made me have a dirty mouth. 676 00:33:53,594 --> 00:33:54,310 Burn it all! 677 00:33:55,794 --> 00:33:57,386 - Hey, dudes. - What's the matter, Cartman? 678 00:33:57,674 --> 00:34:01,189 It's this V-chip. I hate it. I can't say any dirty words. 679 00:34:01,514 --> 00:34:02,947 - So you can't say "fuck"? - No. 680 00:34:03,234 --> 00:34:04,667 - And you can't say "shit"? - No. 681 00:34:05,114 --> 00:34:07,867 You can't say, "I'm Cartman, the fattest piece of shit in the world"? 682 00:34:08,114 --> 00:34:09,866 - Fuck you! - Dude. Sweet! 683 00:34:10,154 --> 00:34:13,271 This has gone far enough. It's time we talked to our moms. 684 00:34:13,474 --> 00:34:14,748 We're supposed to be grounded. 685 00:34:14,954 --> 00:34:17,104 Come on, it's time for us to get political. 686 00:34:17,394 --> 00:34:20,192 Canada will no longer corrupt our children! 687 00:34:20,474 --> 00:34:21,668 Mom, can I talk to you? 688 00:34:21,874 --> 00:34:24,513 Kyle, what are you doing here? You are grounded. 689 00:34:24,954 --> 00:34:26,910 Get back to the house and stay there! 690 00:34:27,154 --> 00:34:28,303 You too, Stanley. 691 00:34:28,554 --> 00:34:31,512 You're going too far. You can't kill Terrance and Phillip. 692 00:34:31,714 --> 00:34:33,705 We must fight for our children's futures! 693 00:34:33,954 --> 00:34:37,469 - You started a war. You have to stop it. - To make them safe again! 694 00:34:37,754 --> 00:34:39,904 Our children are precious. 695 00:34:40,114 --> 00:34:44,107 We must make a stand now! Stop at nothing! 696 00:34:44,794 --> 00:34:45,829 I told you she wouldn't listen. 697 00:34:46,074 --> 00:34:48,224 We'll have to save Terrance and Phillip ourselves. 698 00:34:48,514 --> 00:34:49,742 - What? - Think about it. 699 00:34:50,034 --> 00:34:51,023 What would Brian Boitano do? 700 00:34:51,234 --> 00:34:53,668 He'd rescue Terrance and Phillip before they're executed. 701 00:34:53,914 --> 00:34:56,474 We can't do anything. Our moms' organization is too strong. 702 00:34:56,714 --> 00:34:59,512 We'll round up all the grounded kids and start our own organization. 703 00:34:59,754 --> 00:35:01,585 An organization to help save Terrance and Phillip. 704 00:35:01,794 --> 00:35:03,750 Yeah, our own secret club. 705 00:35:03,954 --> 00:35:06,343 - I guess that could work. - We have to try. 706 00:35:06,554 --> 00:35:09,307 SINGING: What would Brian Boitano do If he was here right now 707 00:35:09,554 --> 00:35:12,785 He'd make a plan and follow through That's what Brian Boitano 'd do 708 00:35:12,994 --> 00:35:15,952 When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics Skating for the gold 709 00:35:16,154 --> 00:35:19,305 He did two salchows and a triple lutz While wearing a blindfold 710 00:35:19,514 --> 00:35:22,347 When Brian Boitano was in the Alps Fighting grizzly bears 711 00:35:22,554 --> 00:35:25,785 He used his magical fire breath And saved the maidens fair 712 00:35:25,994 --> 00:35:28,827 So what would Brian Boitano do If he were here today 713 00:35:29,034 --> 00:35:32,470 I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two That's what Brian Boitano 'd do 714 00:35:32,714 --> 00:35:35,467 I want this V-chip out of me 715 00:35:35,754 --> 00:35:38,552 It has stunted my vocabulary 716 00:35:38,754 --> 00:35:42,064 And I just want my mom To stop fighting everyone 717 00:35:42,314 --> 00:35:45,192 For Wendy, I'll be an activist That's what Brian Boitano 'd do 718 00:35:45,394 --> 00:35:48,466 That's what Brian Boitano 'd do He'd call the kids in town 719 00:35:48,674 --> 00:35:52,030 And tell them to unite for truth That's what Brian Boitano 'd do 720 00:35:52,314 --> 00:35:53,906 Someone say my name? 721 00:35:54,154 --> 00:35:56,304 - Who are you? - I'm Brian Dennehy. 722 00:35:56,514 --> 00:35:58,470 What? No, not fucking Brian Dennehy! 723 00:35:58,674 --> 00:36:00,392 Get the fuck out of here. 724 00:36:02,034 --> 00:36:04,753 When Brian Boitano traveled through time To the year 3010 725 00:36:05,274 --> 00:36:08,630 He fought the evil robot king To save the human race again 726 00:36:08,834 --> 00:36:11,223 When he built the pyramids He beat up Kublai Khan 727 00:36:11,834 --> 00:36:16,350 Because Brian Boitano Doesn 't take shit from anybody 728 00:36:17,074 --> 00:36:19,713 So let's all stick together And unite to stop our moms 729 00:36:19,954 --> 00:36:23,105 We'll save Terrance and Phillip too That's what Brian Boitano 'd do 730 00:36:23,354 --> 00:36:27,506 We'll save Terrance and Phillip too That's what Brian Boitano 'd do 731 00:36:28,154 --> 00:36:29,985 That's what Brian Boitano 'd do 732 00:36:34,914 --> 00:36:36,745 SADDAM: Hey, relax, guy. 733 00:36:36,954 --> 00:36:38,512 SATAN: There's nothing on. 734 00:36:38,714 --> 00:36:40,511 You get cranky when you're tired. 735 00:36:40,714 --> 00:36:41,829 I'm not cranky. 736 00:36:42,034 --> 00:36:46,266 What started as a spat between the U. S. And Canada is turning into WWIII. 737 00:36:46,554 --> 00:36:47,782 World War III?! 738 00:36:47,994 --> 00:36:51,031 Terrance and Phillip will be put to death for crimes... 739 00:36:52,154 --> 00:36:55,908 It has come to be. The Four Horsemen are drawing nigh. 740 00:36:56,154 --> 00:36:58,622 The time of prophecy is upon us. 741 00:36:58,834 --> 00:37:02,110 I love when you get biblical. You know exactly how to turn my crank. 742 00:37:02,314 --> 00:37:05,067 No, I'm being serious. It is the seventh sign. 743 00:37:05,274 --> 00:37:06,104 What? 744 00:37:06,314 --> 00:37:07,269 SATAN: Behold... 745 00:37:07,514 --> 00:37:09,982 ...the first signs of my reign have all come true: 746 00:37:10,194 --> 00:37:12,754 The fall of an empire, the coming of a comet... 747 00:37:12,954 --> 00:37:16,663 ...and now, when the blood of these Canadians touches American soil... 748 00:37:17,354 --> 00:37:20,152 ...it will be our time to rise. 749 00:37:21,114 --> 00:37:23,947 Yeah, man, I'm getting so hot! Let's fuck! 750 00:37:24,154 --> 00:37:27,624 Do you always think about sex? I'm talking about important stuff here. 751 00:37:27,994 --> 00:37:30,872 I'm just excited about taking over the world! Come on! 752 00:37:31,154 --> 00:37:33,304 Is sex the only thing that matters to you? 753 00:37:33,594 --> 00:37:35,073 I love you. 754 00:37:36,154 --> 00:37:37,303 I want to believe that. 755 00:37:37,514 --> 00:37:40,312 What do you say we shut off that light and get close? 756 00:37:44,274 --> 00:37:47,471 SATAN: Ow. SADDAM: You like that, don't you, bitch? 757 00:37:50,234 --> 00:37:53,067 We can use my dad's computer to call the kids together. 758 00:37:53,314 --> 00:37:55,623 Before we put a message out, do a search on "clitoris." 759 00:37:55,914 --> 00:37:57,108 Okay. 760 00:37:58,354 --> 00:38:01,266 "Found: Eight million pages with the word 'clitoris.'" 761 00:38:01,514 --> 00:38:05,553 I'll just try the first one. "You must be 18 to enter this website." 762 00:38:05,834 --> 00:38:07,711 "Welcome to German Sick Fetish Video. 763 00:38:07,994 --> 00:38:10,792 If you are under 18, do not..." Well, okay. 764 00:38:11,874 --> 00:38:13,546 (MALE VOICE IN GERMAN ON COMPUTER) 765 00:38:13,754 --> 00:38:15,153 It's a lady getting pooed on! 766 00:38:15,354 --> 00:38:17,504 - Is it Cartman's mom? - Very funny. 767 00:38:17,714 --> 00:38:19,067 It is Cartman's mom! 768 00:38:21,154 --> 00:38:23,110 Son of a bit...! 769 00:38:24,194 --> 00:38:25,786 Ike, you're too young for this stuff. 770 00:38:26,034 --> 00:38:26,830 Bullshitah. 771 00:38:27,034 --> 00:38:28,467 What's she doing now? 772 00:38:28,994 --> 00:38:29,790 Okey-dokey. 773 00:38:30,594 --> 00:38:31,788 (FARTING NOISE) 774 00:38:33,914 --> 00:38:35,233 Click it off, dude! 775 00:38:35,434 --> 00:38:37,026 What's wrong with German people? 776 00:38:37,234 --> 00:38:40,067 Let's do what we came here to do and put a message out. 777 00:38:40,274 --> 00:38:42,583 I've gotta put out an all-access e-mail. 778 00:38:42,874 --> 00:38:45,263 - Goddamn, your mom sucks! - Get to the message board! 779 00:38:45,514 --> 00:38:47,823 Can't find a Canadian server. I'll break into the mainframe. 780 00:38:48,754 --> 00:38:49,982 They've got an access code! 781 00:38:50,194 --> 00:38:52,025 I'll try to re-route the encryptions. 782 00:38:55,794 --> 00:38:58,354 Here we go. "Want to help Terrance and Phillip? 783 00:38:58,634 --> 00:39:02,468 Sneak out after you get tucked into bed tonight and meet at Carl's warehouse." 784 00:39:02,714 --> 00:39:04,670 - Tell them we'll have punch and pie. - We're not. 785 00:39:04,954 --> 00:39:07,468 More people will come if they think we have punch and pie! 786 00:39:08,634 --> 00:39:10,113 "Punch and pie. 787 00:39:10,314 --> 00:39:13,226 This is top-secret. The password is..." 788 00:39:13,754 --> 00:39:15,392 "La R�sistance." 789 00:39:16,314 --> 00:39:18,145 NEWSCASTER ON RADIO: So the draft will begin tomorrow... 790 00:39:18,354 --> 00:39:20,709 ...as more troops are needed to invade the Canadian border. 791 00:39:20,914 --> 00:39:23,906 The Canadian government pleads for a peaceful resolution... 792 00:39:24,114 --> 00:39:25,183 ...but we're not listening. 793 00:39:25,714 --> 00:39:26,749 Good night, hon. 794 00:39:26,954 --> 00:39:29,149 Mom, when will the war be over? 795 00:39:29,354 --> 00:39:33,825 I don't know, hon. Soon, we hope. You want it to end quickly, huh? 796 00:39:35,554 --> 00:39:37,385 - Mom? - Yes, hon? 797 00:39:37,594 --> 00:39:41,269 If you were in a German schei�e video, you'd tell me, right? 798 00:39:42,394 --> 00:39:43,622 Sure, hon. Good night. 799 00:39:53,954 --> 00:39:54,830 There's a ghost! 800 00:39:55,034 --> 00:39:56,023 (MUMBLES) 801 00:39:56,554 --> 00:39:57,623 Kenny, is that you? 802 00:39:57,874 --> 00:39:59,865 (MUMBLES) 803 00:40:00,274 --> 00:40:01,753 Satan? Satan is coming here? 804 00:40:03,034 --> 00:40:05,150 Saddam Hussein? That doesn't make sense! 805 00:40:08,674 --> 00:40:09,550 Eric, what is it? 806 00:40:09,754 --> 00:40:11,028 I saw him! I saw Kenny! 807 00:40:11,234 --> 00:40:12,553 You poor dear. 808 00:40:12,754 --> 00:40:14,346 You've been through so much. 809 00:40:14,554 --> 00:40:17,307 I bet him he couldn't light a fart on fire, and now he's pissed off. 810 00:40:17,594 --> 00:40:19,186 I can't say "pissed off"? 811 00:40:21,234 --> 00:40:23,384 The execution of Terrance and Phillip is imminent. 812 00:40:23,594 --> 00:40:26,631 Soon, Saddam and I will rule the world. 813 00:40:28,154 --> 00:40:30,827 I got some new luggage for our trip up to Earth. 814 00:40:31,034 --> 00:40:32,103 Let's fuck to celebrate! 815 00:40:32,314 --> 00:40:34,669 What's it like up on Earth? Tell me about it again. 816 00:40:34,954 --> 00:40:36,990 Let's not talk. Let's get busy. 817 00:40:37,274 --> 00:40:38,787 Remember when you first got here? 818 00:40:39,074 --> 00:40:41,907 We used to talk all night, until the sun came up. 819 00:40:42,194 --> 00:40:44,583 We would just lie in bed and talk. 820 00:40:44,874 --> 00:40:47,069 Because I was waiting to get you in bed. 821 00:40:47,354 --> 00:40:49,663 How come you always want to make love to me from behind? 822 00:40:49,874 --> 00:40:52,388 Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else? 823 00:40:52,594 --> 00:40:54,744 Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. 824 00:40:55,034 --> 00:40:57,104 Who am I gonna pretend you are? Liza Minnelli? 825 00:40:59,314 --> 00:41:01,350 Don't get all pissy! 826 00:41:08,514 --> 00:41:11,187 SINGING: Sometimes I think 827 00:41:11,434 --> 00:41:14,028 When I look up real high 828 00:41:14,274 --> 00:41:17,107 That there's such a big world up there 829 00:41:17,354 --> 00:41:20,107 I'd like to give it a try 830 00:41:20,674 --> 00:41:22,585 But then I sink 831 00:41:22,834 --> 00:41:25,507 'Cause it's here I'm supposed to stay 832 00:41:25,754 --> 00:41:28,222 But I get so lonely down here 833 00:41:28,434 --> 00:41:32,063 Tell me, why's it have to be that way? 834 00:41:33,274 --> 00:41:35,583 Up there, there is so much room 835 00:41:35,954 --> 00:41:38,514 Where babies burp and flowers bloom 836 00:41:38,754 --> 00:41:41,587 Everyone dreams, I can dream too 837 00:41:41,834 --> 00:41:42,949 Up there 838 00:41:43,234 --> 00:41:46,465 Up where the skies are ocean blue 839 00:41:46,674 --> 00:41:50,144 I could be safe and live without a care 840 00:41:50,354 --> 00:41:52,993 Up there 841 00:41:53,754 --> 00:41:56,109 They say I don 't belong 842 00:41:56,394 --> 00:41:58,862 I must stay below alone 843 00:41:59,514 --> 00:42:01,152 Because of my beliefs 844 00:42:01,434 --> 00:42:04,710 I'm supposed to stay where evil is sown 845 00:42:06,114 --> 00:42:07,593 But what is evil anyway 846 00:42:07,874 --> 00:42:10,308 Is there reason to the rhyme 847 00:42:10,754 --> 00:42:12,585 Without evil there could be no good 848 00:42:12,874 --> 00:42:16,708 So it must be good to be evil sometimes 849 00:42:18,154 --> 00:42:20,714 Up there, there is so much room 850 00:42:20,994 --> 00:42:23,462 Where babies burp and flowers bloom 851 00:42:23,754 --> 00:42:25,984 Everyone dreams, I can dream too 852 00:42:26,794 --> 00:42:27,624 Up there 853 00:42:28,234 --> 00:42:31,431 Up where the skies are ocean blue 854 00:42:31,714 --> 00:42:35,343 I could be safe and live without a care 855 00:42:36,114 --> 00:42:38,230 Live without a care 856 00:42:38,754 --> 00:42:41,871 If only I could live up there 857 00:42:43,474 --> 00:42:45,783 I want to live, I want to live up 858 00:42:50,554 --> 00:42:54,342 I want to live up there 859 00:43:05,514 --> 00:43:07,106 - You're late! - I had to ride my bike here. 860 00:43:07,354 --> 00:43:09,390 - My behind is killing me. - Your "behind"? 861 00:43:09,594 --> 00:43:12,233 I have to say "behind" because I get shocked if I say "ass." 862 00:43:12,554 --> 00:43:13,589 Did you bring the punch and pie? 863 00:43:13,794 --> 00:43:15,830 No. You guys, something happened. 864 00:43:16,114 --> 00:43:17,388 I don't think Kenny's dead. 865 00:43:18,314 --> 00:43:19,303 I saw him in my room. 866 00:43:19,514 --> 00:43:21,630 I know, Cartman. I see Kenny every day. 867 00:43:21,834 --> 00:43:22,903 - You do? - Sure, dude. 868 00:43:23,114 --> 00:43:26,106 On the face of every child, on the smile of every baby. 869 00:43:26,514 --> 00:43:29,631 This was Kenny! He said that if Terrance and Phillip die... 870 00:43:29,914 --> 00:43:33,031 ...Saddam Hussein and Satan will come up and rule the world! 871 00:43:33,234 --> 00:43:34,587 Saddam Hussein? 872 00:43:34,794 --> 00:43:35,863 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 873 00:43:39,274 --> 00:43:40,070 KYLE: Who is it? 874 00:43:40,514 --> 00:43:41,833 GREGORY: I'm here for La R�sistance. 875 00:43:42,034 --> 00:43:42,910 KYLE: What's the password? 876 00:43:43,114 --> 00:43:44,229 GREGORY: I don't know. 877 00:43:44,434 --> 00:43:45,549 KYLE: Guess. 878 00:43:46,474 --> 00:43:47,668 GREGORY: Bacon. 879 00:43:47,914 --> 00:43:48,824 KYLE: Okay. 880 00:43:50,554 --> 00:43:52,431 Viva La R�sistance! 881 00:43:52,714 --> 00:43:53,829 Oh, no! It's that kid! 882 00:43:54,034 --> 00:43:55,387 This is the place. 883 00:43:56,154 --> 00:43:58,145 Stan? You started La R�sistance? 884 00:43:59,434 --> 00:44:01,231 You're more political than we thought. 885 00:44:01,474 --> 00:44:03,829 GREGORY: Let us get this meeting underway. Many others are coming. 886 00:44:06,834 --> 00:44:07,949 A lot of people showed up. 887 00:44:11,194 --> 00:44:15,665 Terrance and Phillip are supposed to be killed, and we think that sucks ass! 888 00:44:18,354 --> 00:44:20,822 We were to understand there'd be pie and punch. 889 00:44:21,034 --> 00:44:21,864 There isn't any. 890 00:44:25,994 --> 00:44:28,144 Terrance and Phillip are supposed to be killed... 891 00:44:28,434 --> 00:44:30,504 ...so we should prank call a bunch of policemen... 892 00:44:30,714 --> 00:44:32,909 ...and have pizzas sent to them that they didn't order. 893 00:44:33,114 --> 00:44:34,991 Viva La R�sistance! 894 00:44:37,874 --> 00:44:39,193 - May I? - What? 895 00:44:39,794 --> 00:44:43,184 Terrance and Phillip are being held in a camp two kilometers from town. 896 00:44:43,394 --> 00:44:46,033 They are to be executed tomorrow during a star-studded USO show. 897 00:44:46,234 --> 00:44:47,110 Tomorrow? 898 00:44:47,314 --> 00:44:48,713 Once the show begins, we'll have an hour... 899 00:44:48,914 --> 00:44:51,109 ...to get them out of their cell and into this clearing. 900 00:44:51,354 --> 00:44:54,551 There, we will rendezvous and take them back to Canada. 901 00:44:54,754 --> 00:44:56,665 Dude, Wendy's new guy is smart. 902 00:44:56,914 --> 00:44:58,905 Meet me at the rendezvous point at 10 p.m. 903 00:44:59,114 --> 00:45:01,787 Sneaking in and breaking them out will be dangerous... 904 00:45:02,074 --> 00:45:02,950 ...so I'll go myself. 905 00:45:04,474 --> 00:45:05,589 No! We're going! 906 00:45:06,634 --> 00:45:09,706 We started La R�sistance. We'll get them and meet at the rendezvous point. 907 00:45:09,914 --> 00:45:12,303 This will be very dangerous. Are you quite sure? 908 00:45:12,514 --> 00:45:13,344 Fuck that! 909 00:45:13,554 --> 00:45:17,672 Do you want that V-chip in you forever? We'll go. Let's run through the plan. 910 00:45:27,354 --> 00:45:32,064 Oh, boy! Military action, Ned! Let's kill us some goddamn Australians! 911 00:45:32,274 --> 00:45:34,310 I think we're fighting Canadians. 912 00:45:34,554 --> 00:45:36,431 Canadians, Australians, what's the difference? 913 00:45:36,634 --> 00:45:40,866 This uniform makes me feel like a tough, brute man, Mr. Hat. 914 00:45:41,074 --> 00:45:42,712 It sure does, Mr. Garrison. 915 00:45:42,954 --> 00:45:44,706 I can't wait for our first shore leave... 916 00:45:44,954 --> 00:45:47,912 ...so I can get me some fucking poon tang. 917 00:45:48,354 --> 00:45:52,313 Pay attention! Tomorrow night is the USO show for all you troops. 918 00:45:52,514 --> 00:45:55,711 There will be celebrities, followed by the execution of Terrance and Phillip. 919 00:45:55,914 --> 00:45:57,313 (CHEERING) 920 00:45:57,594 --> 00:46:01,473 After the show, we will finally be sending ground troops into Canada. 921 00:46:01,714 --> 00:46:02,829 So let's strategize. 922 00:46:03,034 --> 00:46:04,069 Map! 923 00:46:04,794 --> 00:46:06,705 Our sources have told us that the Canadians... 924 00:46:06,994 --> 00:46:09,792 ...are preparing for our invasion, so we must use caution. 925 00:46:09,994 --> 00:46:12,064 Each battalion has a specific code name and mission. 926 00:46:12,274 --> 00:46:13,946 Battalion 5, raise your hands. 927 00:46:14,554 --> 00:46:16,829 You will be the all-important first attack wave... 928 00:46:17,034 --> 00:46:19,229 ...which we will call "Operation Human Shield." 929 00:46:19,634 --> 00:46:20,703 Wait a minute! 930 00:46:20,914 --> 00:46:23,667 Keep in mind Operation Human Shield will suffer heavy losses. 931 00:46:23,914 --> 00:46:25,666 Battalion 14? 932 00:46:25,914 --> 00:46:28,348 Right. You are Operation Get-Behind-the-Darkies. 933 00:46:28,554 --> 00:46:31,864 You will follow Battalion 5. Try not to get killed, for God's sake. 934 00:46:32,154 --> 00:46:33,473 Are there are any questions? 935 00:46:34,114 --> 00:46:34,910 Yes, soldier. 936 00:46:35,114 --> 00:46:37,070 Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation? 937 00:46:37,674 --> 00:46:38,948 I don't listen to hip-hop. 938 00:46:39,354 --> 00:46:43,233 After that, we will march into the heart of Canada, and we will... 939 00:46:43,434 --> 00:46:45,026 I'm gonna get you! 940 00:46:45,234 --> 00:46:46,826 What's wrong with this thing? 941 00:46:47,674 --> 00:46:49,187 It's fucking Windows 98! 942 00:46:49,394 --> 00:46:50,543 Get Bill Gates in here! 943 00:46:54,154 --> 00:46:57,829 You told us Windows 98 would be faster, with better access to the Internet! 944 00:46:58,154 --> 00:46:59,951 It is faster. Over five million... 945 00:47:01,434 --> 00:47:02,947 All right, men, get lots of rest... 946 00:47:03,154 --> 00:47:05,714 ...and prepare to... 947 00:47:08,674 --> 00:47:10,869 After you have Terrance and Phillip, make your way to this ridge. 948 00:47:11,074 --> 00:47:12,905 We will wait for you. But not for long... 949 00:47:13,154 --> 00:47:14,906 ...so if you're not there at 10, we'll have to leave. 950 00:47:15,554 --> 00:47:18,512 You're brave, but you'll need help from someone who's done this before. 951 00:47:18,754 --> 00:47:21,222 - Here's the address of "The Mole." - "The Mole?" 952 00:47:21,434 --> 00:47:25,143 He is an expert in covert operations. Your first task will be obtaining him. 953 00:47:25,354 --> 00:47:29,711 Get lots of sleep. Tomorrow we will all be risking our lives for freedom. 954 00:47:29,914 --> 00:47:33,509 SINGING: God has smiled upon you this day 955 00:47:34,474 --> 00:47:38,752 The fate of a nation in your hands 956 00:47:39,194 --> 00:47:41,424 And blessed be the children here 957 00:47:41,714 --> 00:47:44,148 Who fight with all our bravery 958 00:47:44,434 --> 00:47:48,586 Till only the righteous stand 959 00:47:49,154 --> 00:47:52,226 You see the distant flames They bellow in the night 960 00:47:52,434 --> 00:47:55,551 You fight in all our names For what we know is right 961 00:47:55,754 --> 00:47:58,473 And when you all get shot And cannot carry on 962 00:47:58,754 --> 00:48:01,348 Though you die, La R�sistance lives on 963 00:48:01,994 --> 00:48:04,827 You may get stabbed in the head With a dagger or a sword 964 00:48:05,114 --> 00:48:08,231 You may be burned to death Or skinned alive or worse 965 00:48:08,434 --> 00:48:11,232 But when they torture you You will not feel the need to run 966 00:48:11,434 --> 00:48:14,153 For though you die, La R�sistance lives on 967 00:48:14,394 --> 00:48:17,227 Blame Canada Blame Canada 968 00:48:17,434 --> 00:48:20,346 The country's gone awry Tomorrow night these freaks will fry 969 00:48:21,554 --> 00:48:24,148 Tomorrow night Our lives will change 970 00:48:24,514 --> 00:48:27,233 Tomorrow night We'll be entertained 971 00:48:27,554 --> 00:48:31,069 An execution, what a sight Tomorrow night 972 00:48:31,314 --> 00:48:33,908 There's so much room Babies burp and flowers bloom 973 00:48:34,114 --> 00:48:37,026 Tomorrow night up there is doomed And so I will be going soon 974 00:48:37,234 --> 00:48:39,350 Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker 975 00:48:39,634 --> 00:48:42,467 You're a boner-biting bastard Uncle Fucker 976 00:48:42,914 --> 00:48:46,031 - We may be out of luck - Tomorrow night, we're pretty fucked 977 00:48:46,234 --> 00:48:48,589 Why'd our mothers start this war What are they fighting for 978 00:48:48,874 --> 00:48:50,512 When did this song become a marathon 979 00:48:51,754 --> 00:48:54,473 When Canada is dead and gone There'll be no more Celine Dion 980 00:48:54,714 --> 00:48:57,182 They may cut your dick in half And serve it to a pig 981 00:48:57,394 --> 00:49:00,147 And though it hurts, you'll laugh And dance a dickless jig 982 00:49:00,874 --> 00:49:03,104 That's the way it goes In war you're shat upon 983 00:49:03,394 --> 00:49:06,511 Though you die La R�sistance lives on 984 00:49:18,994 --> 00:49:22,509 I'm so excited. Just one more day until we can take over the world. 985 00:49:22,754 --> 00:49:25,063 I don't know if I can sleep, if you know what I mean. 986 00:49:25,274 --> 00:49:28,869 This book talks about how people communicate differently. 987 00:49:29,074 --> 00:49:32,191 I communicate by wanting you to ask me questions, and you... 988 00:49:32,394 --> 00:49:34,544 That is interesting. Let's fuck! 989 00:49:34,834 --> 00:49:38,509 Saddam, I'm trying to have a nice conversation with you! 990 00:49:39,274 --> 00:49:41,504 Now that is just not appropriate! 991 00:49:41,794 --> 00:49:44,513 Come on, I'm just fucking with you! It's not real! 992 00:49:44,794 --> 00:49:47,866 - Well, that's still not appropriate. - Hey, daddy. 993 00:49:48,754 --> 00:49:50,870 It's not real, either! Come on, guy! 994 00:49:53,674 --> 00:49:54,948 KENNY: What's wrong? 995 00:49:57,314 --> 00:50:00,067 Soon the world will belong to me. 996 00:50:01,074 --> 00:50:02,268 KENNY: What's the matter, dude? 997 00:50:02,514 --> 00:50:05,711 It's Saddam. He doesn't nurture my emotions. 998 00:50:05,954 --> 00:50:09,105 He just wants sex and can't learn to communicate. 999 00:50:09,354 --> 00:50:11,072 - Why don't you leave him? - You're right. 1000 00:50:11,314 --> 00:50:13,066 I should leave him. I'll tell him... 1001 00:50:13,314 --> 00:50:15,782 ..."Saddam, I'm going to Earth to rule alone!" 1002 00:50:15,994 --> 00:50:18,986 - I'm strong and I don't need him! - Good for you! 1003 00:50:22,794 --> 00:50:24,671 SINGING: Today's the day for the USO show 1004 00:50:24,954 --> 00:50:26,512 We're so happy we get to go 1005 00:50:26,954 --> 00:50:28,865 I don 't know but I've been told 1006 00:50:29,114 --> 00:50:30,513 Canadian pussy is mighty cold 1007 00:50:30,714 --> 00:50:32,670 Stay in the attic, because if they find you... 1008 00:50:32,954 --> 00:50:34,626 ...they'll put you in a concentration camp. 1009 00:50:36,154 --> 00:50:38,110 Don't worry. We'll put an end to this. 1010 00:50:38,354 --> 00:50:41,471 Then I'll make Mom come home, and we'll all be a family again. 1011 00:50:45,474 --> 00:50:47,351 (IKE BABBLES) 1012 00:51:01,554 --> 00:51:02,907 - Hello? - Hi. 1013 00:51:03,154 --> 00:51:04,792 We need to speak with The Mole. 1014 00:51:05,154 --> 00:51:08,703 I'm sorry. The Mole is grounded. He can't come out and play. 1015 00:51:08,914 --> 00:51:09,949 - What?! - He's a kid? 1016 00:51:10,154 --> 00:51:12,190 He said very naughty things about God. 1017 00:51:12,394 --> 00:51:14,669 Can we just talk to him for five seconds? 1018 00:51:14,914 --> 00:51:17,826 Well, all right. Christophe! 1019 00:51:19,434 --> 00:51:22,392 We're gonna rescue Terrance and Phillip from the USO show... 1020 00:51:23,234 --> 00:51:24,030 Who sent you? 1021 00:51:24,234 --> 00:51:25,872 Gregory! He said you could sneak us in. 1022 00:51:26,074 --> 00:51:28,304 Are you telling me you intend to break into the USO show... 1023 00:51:28,554 --> 00:51:31,512 ...filled with thousands of soldiers and break out Terrance and Phillip? 1024 00:51:31,754 --> 00:51:33,346 I thought it was a stupid idea too. 1025 00:51:33,634 --> 00:51:36,910 We're La R�sistance. We wanna save Terrance and Phillip and stop the war. 1026 00:51:37,154 --> 00:51:39,873 I can't help you. I'm grounded for the next three days. 1027 00:51:40,074 --> 00:51:42,190 So are we. Our parents think we're home right now. 1028 00:51:42,394 --> 00:51:43,713 - Why are you grounded? - Why? 1029 00:51:43,954 --> 00:51:46,866 Because God hates me. He has made my life miserable. 1030 00:51:47,074 --> 00:51:49,542 So I call Him a cocksucking asshole, and I get grounded. 1031 00:51:49,754 --> 00:51:51,426 - So will you help us? - Very well. 1032 00:51:51,634 --> 00:51:54,432 Meet me in the backyard in five minutes. Viva La R�sistance. 1033 00:51:54,634 --> 00:51:56,306 We'll show God that we won't fucking... 1034 00:51:56,514 --> 00:51:57,913 What? Christophe, get in here! 1035 00:51:58,114 --> 00:51:59,467 Coming, mother. 1036 00:52:00,714 --> 00:52:03,433 I must be strong. I must be strong. 1037 00:52:03,914 --> 00:52:05,711 Saddam, I need to talk to you. 1038 00:52:05,914 --> 00:52:09,509 Get packing, bitch. We have to go! We're running out of time! 1039 00:52:09,754 --> 00:52:12,826 Saddam, sometimes you can love a person very much... 1040 00:52:13,034 --> 00:52:14,752 ...but still know they aren't right for you. 1041 00:52:14,954 --> 00:52:16,467 What are you talking about? 1042 00:52:16,714 --> 00:52:18,909 You treat me like shit! I'm leaving you! 1043 00:52:19,114 --> 00:52:20,991 I'm going up to Earth to rule alone. 1044 00:52:21,994 --> 00:52:23,666 No! No, you can't do that! 1045 00:52:23,914 --> 00:52:25,950 I'm sorry, but I have to be strong. 1046 00:52:26,154 --> 00:52:28,668 Give me another chance! I have to go to Earth! 1047 00:52:28,914 --> 00:52:30,188 You don't have respect for me! 1048 00:52:30,394 --> 00:52:32,749 Sure I do, guy. Please just hear me out. 1049 00:52:36,674 --> 00:52:39,791 SINGING: Some people say that I'm a bad guy 1050 00:52:40,074 --> 00:52:42,542 They may be right They may be right 1051 00:52:43,474 --> 00:52:46,705 But it's not as if I don 't try 1052 00:52:46,914 --> 00:52:49,303 I just fuck up, try as I might 1053 00:52:49,874 --> 00:52:51,910 But I can change, I can change 1054 00:52:52,154 --> 00:52:55,146 I can learn to keep my promises I swear it 1055 00:52:55,354 --> 00:52:57,026 I'll open up my heart And I will share it 1056 00:52:57,234 --> 00:52:59,225 Any minute now, I will be born again 1057 00:53:00,714 --> 00:53:02,591 Yes I can change, I can change 1058 00:53:02,794 --> 00:53:05,183 I know I've been A dirty little bastard 1059 00:53:05,754 --> 00:53:07,824 I like to kill, I like to maim I'm insane, but it's okay 1060 00:53:08,034 --> 00:53:09,262 'Cause I can change 1061 00:53:10,714 --> 00:53:12,909 It's not my fault that I'm so evil 1062 00:53:13,114 --> 00:53:15,503 It's society, society 1063 00:53:16,514 --> 00:53:18,630 You see my parents Were sometimes abusive 1064 00:53:18,914 --> 00:53:20,984 And it made a prick of me 1065 00:53:21,474 --> 00:53:23,226 But I can change, I can change 1066 00:53:23,514 --> 00:53:25,630 What if you remain A sandy little butthole 1067 00:53:25,834 --> 00:53:29,304 Don 't be such a twit Mother Teresa won 't have shit on me 1068 00:53:29,634 --> 00:53:31,943 Just watch me change Here I go, I'm changing! 1069 00:53:55,074 --> 00:53:56,712 You see, I've really matured. 1070 00:53:56,914 --> 00:53:58,188 All right. 1071 00:53:59,314 --> 00:54:00,747 Come on, we have to hurry. 1072 00:54:01,154 --> 00:54:02,064 SADDAM: I love you. 1073 00:54:05,874 --> 00:54:08,104 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen of the American Army... 1074 00:54:08,354 --> 00:54:10,868 ...welcome to the USO show. 1075 00:54:11,714 --> 00:54:14,308 Get ready for loads of entertainment and fabulous celebrities... 1076 00:54:14,554 --> 00:54:18,308 ...followed immediately by the execution of Terrance and Phillip. 1077 00:54:23,114 --> 00:54:26,629 This is where those military bitches intend to kill Terrance and Phillip. 1078 00:54:26,834 --> 00:54:27,630 Oh, my God! 1079 00:54:27,834 --> 00:54:29,870 God? He is the biggest bitch of them all. 1080 00:54:30,114 --> 00:54:32,708 Hurry. We rendezvous with the other kids at 10. 1081 00:54:34,194 --> 00:54:37,311 You realize we could be grounded for two, even three weeks. 1082 00:54:37,514 --> 00:54:39,664 - We're willing to take that risk. - Let's go. 1083 00:54:39,914 --> 00:54:42,508 ANNOUNCER: And now, here are your hosts for the evening... 1084 00:54:42,594 --> 00:54:45,745 ...Sheila Broflovski and Big Gay Al. 1085 00:54:46,154 --> 00:54:47,587 (CHEERING) 1086 00:54:47,954 --> 00:54:50,593 Al, tonight is a very special night. Do you know why? 1087 00:54:50,874 --> 00:54:52,466 They're having a sale at Merv's? 1088 00:54:53,794 --> 00:54:56,513 No. Because we're going to abolish Canadian smut. 1089 00:54:57,114 --> 00:54:59,947 That's right, Sheila. Bring out the condemned. 1090 00:55:04,234 --> 00:55:07,146 SHEILA: Today is a great day for democracy! 1091 00:55:09,034 --> 00:55:13,107 This is worse than when you put your dick in my mouth and took a picture. 1092 00:55:13,314 --> 00:55:14,667 I know, Terrance. I know. 1093 00:55:14,914 --> 00:55:18,907 While you're getting set up over there, let's bring out our first act: 1094 00:55:19,154 --> 00:55:21,509 Yippie, the back-flipping dog! 1095 00:55:33,514 --> 00:55:34,993 Be careful not to touch this wire. 1096 00:55:36,274 --> 00:55:38,105 Motherfuck... 1097 00:55:38,354 --> 00:55:39,787 Fuck. 1098 00:55:44,994 --> 00:55:47,508 The show has started. We're running out of time. 1099 00:55:48,354 --> 00:55:49,423 Do you see Terrance and Phillip? 1100 00:55:49,634 --> 00:55:51,511 Yes, but they are heavily guarded. 1101 00:55:52,154 --> 00:55:53,633 Dig from here, so as not to be seen. 1102 00:55:53,834 --> 00:55:55,267 Come on, bitches. 1103 00:55:56,834 --> 00:55:58,506 Mole, do you know where the clitoris is? 1104 00:55:58,754 --> 00:55:59,823 - The what? - The clitoris. 1105 00:56:00,034 --> 00:56:02,309 I have to find it, so I can get Wendy to like me. 1106 00:56:02,554 --> 00:56:04,146 Stop thinking with your dick! 1107 00:56:04,354 --> 00:56:06,629 Be on your toes, because I won't be grounded again! 1108 00:56:06,834 --> 00:56:08,028 Not for you! Not for anybody! 1109 00:56:08,834 --> 00:56:11,587 Men, when you're out there in the battlefield... 1110 00:56:11,794 --> 00:56:13,910 ...and you're looking into the beady eyes of a Canadian... 1111 00:56:14,194 --> 00:56:16,833 ...as he charges you with his hockey stick or whatever he has... 1112 00:56:17,034 --> 00:56:21,505 ...and people are dying all around you, just remember what the MPAA says: 1113 00:56:21,714 --> 00:56:26,629 "Deplorable violence is okay as long as people don't say any naughty words." 1114 00:56:26,954 --> 00:56:29,752 That is what this war is all about. 1115 00:56:29,954 --> 00:56:30,909 (CHEERING) 1116 00:56:31,154 --> 00:56:32,303 What? 1117 00:56:34,474 --> 00:56:35,509 Shit! 1118 00:56:37,434 --> 00:56:38,469 Move, move. 1119 00:56:40,794 --> 00:56:42,910 We will split up here. Let's synchronize watches. 1120 00:56:43,834 --> 00:56:45,665 - We don't have watches. - You don't? 1121 00:56:45,914 --> 00:56:47,825 - You didn't say anything about watches. - What do you think this is? 1122 00:56:48,034 --> 00:56:51,265 TV kiddie hour where we sit around and lick Barney the Dinosaur's pussy? 1123 00:56:51,474 --> 00:56:53,271 This is real life, with consequences you take to the grave. 1124 00:56:53,474 --> 00:56:54,987 - We don't have watches. - Shit! 1125 00:56:55,194 --> 00:56:56,309 - Did you bring the mirror? - Got it. 1126 00:56:56,554 --> 00:56:57,703 - And the rope? - Check. 1127 00:56:57,914 --> 00:56:59,632 - And the buttfor? - What's a "buttfor"? 1128 00:56:59,834 --> 00:57:01,745 For pooping, silly. 1129 00:57:03,354 --> 00:57:06,949 I'll dig under the stage, and with that bedrock, I'll need more time. 1130 00:57:07,154 --> 00:57:09,622 Stan and Kyle, stall the show anyway you can. 1131 00:57:09,834 --> 00:57:12,064 Keep that show going until I get the prisoners. 1132 00:57:12,834 --> 00:57:14,586 MOLE: Cartman, over there is the electrical box. 1133 00:57:14,794 --> 00:57:17,308 Shut it off before I return with Terrance and Phillip... 1134 00:57:17,514 --> 00:57:19,948 ...or the alarm will sound and I'll be attacked by dogs. 1135 00:57:20,194 --> 00:57:21,024 - Got it? - Okay. 1136 00:57:21,234 --> 00:57:23,668 You must shut off the alarms. I fucking hate guard dogs! 1137 00:57:23,914 --> 00:57:26,030 I heard you, you British piece of shit. 1138 00:57:26,234 --> 00:57:28,668 If anything goes wrong, make a sound like a dying giraffe. 1139 00:57:28,914 --> 00:57:30,267 What's a dying giraffe sound like? 1140 00:57:30,714 --> 00:57:32,705 (MAKES ANIMAL NOISES) 1141 00:57:33,554 --> 00:57:34,350 Okay. 1142 00:57:34,594 --> 00:57:36,152 - Let's go. - Be careful, dude. 1143 00:57:36,354 --> 00:57:38,914 Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart... 1144 00:57:39,114 --> 00:57:41,867 ...with a clothes hanger, while I was still in the womb? 1145 00:57:45,874 --> 00:57:47,626 Damn, that kid is fucked up. 1146 00:57:47,874 --> 00:57:49,273 AL: How are those chairs coming? 1147 00:57:49,714 --> 00:57:51,705 Al, we're minutes away. 1148 00:57:51,914 --> 00:57:56,624 Super. Here is pint-sized pixie and darling of the indie movie scene... 1149 00:57:56,954 --> 00:57:59,024 ...Winona Ryder! 1150 00:57:59,234 --> 00:58:00,667 Hi, guys. 1151 00:58:01,234 --> 00:58:02,872 I'm super-psyched to be here today. 1152 00:58:03,114 --> 00:58:06,470 What you're doing for our country is so cool. 1153 00:58:06,674 --> 00:58:09,905 I mean war, man. Wow, war. 1154 00:58:10,114 --> 00:58:12,264 You know? Wow. 1155 00:58:12,474 --> 00:58:17,104 Okay, and now for your enjoyment, here's my famous Ping-Pong ball trick. 1156 00:58:25,274 --> 00:58:26,104 Oh, my! 1157 00:58:26,874 --> 00:58:28,546 "Shut off the power, Cartman. 1158 00:58:28,754 --> 00:58:30,710 This is very important, Cartman." 1159 00:58:30,954 --> 00:58:33,627 SOLDIER: Did you hear what Winona Ryder's doing? 1160 00:58:37,834 --> 00:58:42,305 There. I didn't miss one. That's my Ping-Pong ball trick! 1161 00:58:45,794 --> 00:58:47,910 That's all the acts we have for tonight... 1162 00:58:48,114 --> 00:58:50,628 ...so let's just get on with the execution! 1163 00:58:51,674 --> 00:58:53,824 - No, we have to stall him. - More! More! 1164 00:58:54,034 --> 00:58:55,513 Yeah! More! 1165 00:58:55,714 --> 00:58:58,433 You big sillies. You want to see more of me? 1166 00:58:58,634 --> 00:59:00,989 Yeah! Big Gay Al! Big Gay Al! 1167 00:59:02,794 --> 00:59:05,945 Well, I do have a little song I wrote about the war. 1168 00:59:06,234 --> 00:59:07,587 But we haven't rehearsed. 1169 00:59:07,794 --> 00:59:09,227 Sing it! 1170 00:59:09,874 --> 00:59:10,829 I can't. 1171 00:59:11,034 --> 00:59:12,387 KYLE: Sing the fucking song! 1172 00:59:12,674 --> 00:59:15,188 All right. If you insist, I'll sing my song. 1173 00:59:15,474 --> 00:59:17,749 I believe it goes a little bit like this. 1174 00:59:19,914 --> 00:59:21,791 SINGING: Bombs are flying 1175 00:59:22,074 --> 00:59:23,712 People are dying 1176 00:59:23,994 --> 00:59:26,827 Children are crying Politicians are lying too 1177 00:59:27,954 --> 00:59:29,945 Cancer is killing 1178 00:59:30,314 --> 00:59:31,793 Texaco 's spilling 1179 00:59:32,834 --> 00:59:35,268 The whole world's gone to hell But how are you? 1180 00:59:36,514 --> 00:59:39,108 I'm super Thanks for asking 1181 00:59:39,394 --> 00:59:40,952 I couldn 't be better 1182 00:59:41,154 --> 00:59:42,382 I must say 1183 00:59:42,594 --> 00:59:43,788 I'm feeling super 1184 00:59:43,994 --> 00:59:45,791 No, nothing bugs me 1185 00:59:45,994 --> 00:59:47,313 Everything is super when you're... 1186 00:59:47,514 --> 00:59:49,823 Don 't you think I look cute In this hat 1187 00:59:51,874 --> 00:59:54,547 I'm so sorry Mr. Cripple 1188 00:59:54,754 --> 00:59:57,393 But I just can 't feel too bad For you right now 1189 00:59:57,594 --> 01:00:00,472 Because I'm feeling So insanely super 1190 01:00:00,674 --> 01:00:03,791 That even the fact that you can 't walk Can 't bring me down 1191 01:00:03,994 --> 01:00:06,747 He's super Thanks for asking 1192 01:00:06,954 --> 01:00:09,627 All things considered He couldn 't be better he must say 1193 01:00:09,914 --> 01:00:11,029 I'm super 1194 01:00:11,234 --> 01:00:12,428 No, nothing bugs me 1195 01:00:13,514 --> 01:00:16,312 Don 't you think I look cute in this hat 1196 01:00:16,554 --> 01:00:19,114 These pants This matching tie I got at Merv's 1197 01:00:19,554 --> 01:00:21,670 CHORUS: In the barracks And the trenches as well 1198 01:00:21,954 --> 01:00:25,344 - Stick 'em up! - Big Gay Al says you have to tell 1199 01:00:25,634 --> 01:00:27,909 Yes, he's super And he's proud to be gay 1200 01:00:28,674 --> 01:00:32,303 Everything is super When you're gay 1201 01:00:36,074 --> 01:00:37,029 When you're gay 1202 01:00:39,274 --> 01:00:40,627 Again! Again! 1203 01:00:49,034 --> 01:00:50,149 Who's there? 1204 01:00:50,354 --> 01:00:51,150 (KENNY MUMBLES) 1205 01:00:51,354 --> 01:00:52,628 Son of a gun! Heck! 1206 01:00:54,034 --> 01:00:55,387 They're coming? 1207 01:00:56,234 --> 01:00:58,225 But our moms won't listen to us. 1208 01:01:03,834 --> 01:01:07,509 AL: Okay, everybody, just want to thank our wonderful sponsors... 1209 01:01:09,154 --> 01:01:10,189 He's almost got them. 1210 01:01:10,394 --> 01:01:12,783 We're here to rescue you. Follow me through the tunnel. 1211 01:01:13,274 --> 01:01:15,663 You guys! Seriously. I saw Kenny again. 1212 01:01:15,914 --> 01:01:17,711 Did you shut the alarm off? 1213 01:01:19,074 --> 01:01:20,553 - Cartman? - Whoops. 1214 01:01:20,754 --> 01:01:22,073 Oh, shit! 1215 01:01:22,314 --> 01:01:23,190 (MAKING ANIMAL NOISES) 1216 01:01:23,394 --> 01:01:25,908 Hear that? Sounds like a dying giraffe. 1217 01:01:27,274 --> 01:01:28,024 Shit! 1218 01:01:28,234 --> 01:01:29,986 - A spy! - Get him! 1219 01:01:31,114 --> 01:01:32,752 Shit! Shit! 1220 01:01:33,794 --> 01:01:34,783 Oh, no! 1221 01:01:36,194 --> 01:01:37,343 Come on, Mole! 1222 01:01:37,834 --> 01:01:40,473 MOLE: Shit! Shit! Fucking guard dogs! Shit! 1223 01:01:41,154 --> 01:01:42,507 The alarms went off. 1224 01:01:42,754 --> 01:01:44,073 That was my bad. Sorry. 1225 01:01:44,754 --> 01:01:46,710 Hold me. It's so very cold. 1226 01:01:46,954 --> 01:01:48,672 There is no hope. Get out. 1227 01:01:48,914 --> 01:01:50,825 - We can't leave without you. - It's okay. 1228 01:01:51,074 --> 01:01:53,224 No, we can't. We don't know where we are! 1229 01:01:53,474 --> 01:01:55,430 Where's your God when you need him? 1230 01:01:55,634 --> 01:01:58,626 Where is your beautiful, merciful faggot now? 1231 01:01:58,834 --> 01:01:59,789 Here I come, God. 1232 01:01:59,994 --> 01:02:01,666 Here I come, you fucking rat. 1233 01:02:01,874 --> 01:02:04,183 SINGING: Now the light she fades 1234 01:02:04,554 --> 01:02:07,466 And darkness settles in 1235 01:02:07,714 --> 01:02:09,306 But I will find strength 1236 01:02:09,554 --> 01:02:12,022 - No, Mole, hang on. - I will find pride within 1237 01:02:12,274 --> 01:02:14,788 - We'll get you home. - Because although I die 1238 01:02:15,034 --> 01:02:17,594 - I can't face my mother. - Our freedom will be won 1239 01:02:17,834 --> 01:02:18,789 Not alone. 1240 01:02:18,994 --> 01:02:21,189 Though I die 1241 01:02:21,434 --> 01:02:24,107 La R�sistance lives... 1242 01:02:24,674 --> 01:02:25,743 ...on 1243 01:02:36,994 --> 01:02:38,109 Shit! 1244 01:02:38,354 --> 01:02:42,472 AL: Okay, here it is. The moment we've all been awaiting: The execution! 1245 01:02:47,154 --> 01:02:49,110 The day is ours! 1246 01:02:50,354 --> 01:02:52,709 We have to tell them about Saddam Hussein and Satan. 1247 01:02:52,954 --> 01:02:56,469 - No. My mom can't see me here. - You have to stand up to your mother. 1248 01:02:56,754 --> 01:02:59,632 Gentlemen, do you have any last words? 1249 01:02:59,834 --> 01:03:03,144 Last words? How's aboot, "Get me the fuck out of this chair!" 1250 01:03:03,394 --> 01:03:04,304 How's that? 1251 01:03:04,554 --> 01:03:07,352 All right, anonymous, ready the switch. 1252 01:03:08,554 --> 01:03:09,543 STAN: Wait! 1253 01:03:09,754 --> 01:03:10,789 - Stanley! - Eric! 1254 01:03:11,034 --> 01:03:11,864 Kyle! 1255 01:03:13,154 --> 01:03:14,507 Go on, dude, tell her. 1256 01:03:14,834 --> 01:03:17,268 - I can't. - You can't kill Terrance and Phillip. 1257 01:03:17,514 --> 01:03:20,631 If they die, Satan and Saddam Hussein will take over the world. 1258 01:03:22,074 --> 01:03:23,792 (LAUGHING) 1259 01:03:25,354 --> 01:03:27,265 Throw the switch, Mr. Garrison. 1260 01:03:27,514 --> 01:03:29,823 I'm supposed to be anonymous. 1261 01:03:31,394 --> 01:03:32,873 Goodbye, bastards! 1262 01:03:33,114 --> 01:03:34,149 No! 1263 01:03:41,354 --> 01:03:44,391 The Canadians are attacking! Run for your lives! 1264 01:03:44,914 --> 01:03:46,347 We have to shut off the power! 1265 01:03:47,714 --> 01:03:48,908 Fuck! 1266 01:03:50,594 --> 01:03:52,266 Some little fat kid saved us! 1267 01:03:58,554 --> 01:04:01,591 Wait! We have to get you to the rendezvous point. 1268 01:04:04,994 --> 01:04:06,552 Ned, behind you! 1269 01:04:24,274 --> 01:04:26,549 CLITORIS: Be not afraid. 1270 01:04:26,754 --> 01:04:27,664 Oh, my God! 1271 01:04:27,874 --> 01:04:29,785 Behold my glory. 1272 01:04:29,994 --> 01:04:31,109 What are you? 1273 01:04:31,314 --> 01:04:33,270 I am the clitoris. 1274 01:04:33,474 --> 01:04:35,669 The clitoris? I found the clitoris! 1275 01:04:35,874 --> 01:04:39,947 Stan, you must not let Terrance and Phillip's blood spill on the ground. 1276 01:04:40,234 --> 01:04:41,986 Tell me how to get Wendy to like me. 1277 01:04:42,194 --> 01:04:44,150 There are more important matters right now. 1278 01:04:44,394 --> 01:04:47,750 I looked all over for you. Tell me how to get Wendy to like me. 1279 01:04:47,954 --> 01:04:50,468 Dude, just have confidence in yourself. 1280 01:04:50,674 --> 01:04:52,630 Believe in yourself and others will believe in you. 1281 01:04:53,194 --> 01:04:55,867 Chicks love confidence. Now go. Hurry! 1282 01:04:56,074 --> 01:04:58,542 The clitoris has spoken. 1283 01:04:58,754 --> 01:05:00,028 WEND Y: Stan, are you okay? 1284 01:05:00,234 --> 01:05:03,909 I see you failed. I should not have sent a boy to do a man's job. 1285 01:05:05,034 --> 01:05:07,628 Come on! We've got precious little time! 1286 01:05:10,874 --> 01:05:12,865 Die, Canadian, m'kay? 1287 01:05:16,194 --> 01:05:17,627 Did you hear that? I farted. 1288 01:05:17,874 --> 01:05:19,671 You did? Just now? 1289 01:05:20,914 --> 01:05:23,633 KYLE: Terrance and Phillip! CARTMAN: Get to the rendezvous point! 1290 01:05:23,834 --> 01:05:25,108 CARTMAN: It's Mr. Garrison. 1291 01:05:25,554 --> 01:05:30,423 Children, take Mr. Hat. Please get him out of here. 1292 01:05:30,834 --> 01:05:34,304 Holy shit! This V-chip is getting all screwy. 1293 01:05:34,514 --> 01:05:36,106 Take cover in the trench! 1294 01:05:36,354 --> 01:05:39,983 Human Shield up front, then Operation Get-Behind-the-Darkies. 1295 01:05:40,634 --> 01:05:43,944 Remember, Human Shield, protect our tanks and planes too. 1296 01:05:48,234 --> 01:05:49,713 Holy mother of Jehoshaphat! 1297 01:05:49,914 --> 01:05:50,744 Fire on my command. 1298 01:05:50,954 --> 01:05:53,149 All right, squad, just like I told you. 1299 01:05:54,314 --> 01:05:56,623 One... two... 1300 01:05:56,874 --> 01:05:58,432 Do some people gonna die? 1301 01:05:58,674 --> 01:05:59,709 - Fire! ...three! 1302 01:06:00,994 --> 01:06:02,143 What in the... 1303 01:06:02,834 --> 01:06:03,869 Great plan, Chef. 1304 01:06:04,114 --> 01:06:05,832 Operation Human Shield, my ass! 1305 01:06:08,754 --> 01:06:10,745 My God, this is terrible. 1306 01:06:10,994 --> 01:06:12,586 This is what we wanted! 1307 01:06:12,834 --> 01:06:16,668 We wanted our children to be brought up in a smut-free environment! 1308 01:06:16,914 --> 01:06:18,632 STAN'S MOM: But we didn't want this. 1309 01:06:19,194 --> 01:06:20,513 Where are you going? 1310 01:06:20,874 --> 01:06:22,592 We're going to find our boys. 1311 01:06:22,794 --> 01:06:26,184 For God's sake, Sheila, we're going to get them killed! 1312 01:06:31,674 --> 01:06:34,063 All those times I said you were a big dumb Jew? 1313 01:06:34,274 --> 01:06:36,663 I didn't mean it. You're not a Jew. 1314 01:06:37,074 --> 01:06:39,190 Yes, I am! I am a Jew, Cartman! 1315 01:06:39,394 --> 01:06:41,146 Don't be so hard on yourself. 1316 01:06:42,114 --> 01:06:44,025 Why am I still holding this? 1317 01:06:44,514 --> 01:06:46,072 MR. GARRISON: Mr. Hat! No! 1318 01:06:46,314 --> 01:06:49,033 KYLE: Fuck this. I'm getting out before I get in trouble. 1319 01:06:49,274 --> 01:06:50,502 I heard that. 1320 01:06:51,314 --> 01:06:54,147 I found the clitoris. Now I can get Wendy to like me again. 1321 01:06:54,394 --> 01:06:55,270 Swell, Stan. 1322 01:06:55,474 --> 01:06:59,023 I guess all's well that ends well. We can go home now. Dipshit. 1323 01:06:59,714 --> 01:07:00,624 What's wrong? 1324 01:07:00,874 --> 01:07:04,708 We can't let Terrance and Phillip die, or the whole world will end. 1325 01:07:05,954 --> 01:07:06,943 Terrance, look! 1326 01:07:07,154 --> 01:07:07,984 There they are! 1327 01:07:08,194 --> 01:07:09,673 Phillip, we're done for! 1328 01:07:09,914 --> 01:07:11,825 All right, men! Fire! 1329 01:07:12,074 --> 01:07:13,507 Goodbye, Terrance. 1330 01:07:18,194 --> 01:07:19,104 What is this? 1331 01:07:19,314 --> 01:07:20,224 Don't shoot! 1332 01:07:20,434 --> 01:07:24,393 I'll take care of this. Kids, get out of the way now! 1333 01:07:29,034 --> 01:07:29,830 Kyle! 1334 01:07:30,074 --> 01:07:32,224 I'm not going to let you kill them, Mom! 1335 01:07:32,434 --> 01:07:33,389 What, what, what? 1336 01:07:33,594 --> 01:07:35,505 I'm not moving! 1337 01:07:37,354 --> 01:07:40,551 Stand down. You can still see fart jokes on Nickelodeon. 1338 01:07:40,754 --> 01:07:42,870 No! This is about more than fart jokes! 1339 01:07:43,114 --> 01:07:45,469 This is about freedom of speech, about censorship... 1340 01:07:45,874 --> 01:07:47,705 ...and stuff. 1341 01:07:47,914 --> 01:07:51,145 What about Ike? Did you forget your adopted son is Canadian? 1342 01:07:53,674 --> 01:07:56,234 I'm doing very important things. 1343 01:07:56,434 --> 01:07:58,629 But you never took the time to talk to me. 1344 01:07:58,874 --> 01:08:01,832 Whenever I get in trouble, you blame everybody else. 1345 01:08:02,074 --> 01:08:04,383 But I'm the one to blame. Deal with me. 1346 01:08:04,594 --> 01:08:06,630 You keep fighting all these causes. 1347 01:08:06,874 --> 01:08:08,353 But I don't want a fighter. 1348 01:08:08,554 --> 01:08:10,067 I want my mom. 1349 01:08:13,874 --> 01:08:15,227 Poor little fella! 1350 01:08:15,794 --> 01:08:16,863 No! 1351 01:08:20,794 --> 01:08:21,829 Holy shit, dude! 1352 01:08:22,074 --> 01:08:23,507 Young man, you watch your mouth! 1353 01:08:31,834 --> 01:08:33,586 My time has come! 1354 01:08:33,834 --> 01:08:35,950 You are really fucked now! 1355 01:08:36,154 --> 01:08:38,304 It's Saddam Hussein! Shoot him! 1356 01:08:39,874 --> 01:08:40,704 What a dumb ass! 1357 01:08:44,634 --> 01:08:46,829 You have spilled the blood of the innocent. 1358 01:08:47,074 --> 01:08:49,827 Now begins two million years of darkness. 1359 01:08:50,034 --> 01:08:52,264 Good job, Ms. Broflovski. Thanks a lot. 1360 01:08:52,474 --> 01:08:55,625 I was trying to make the world a better place for children. 1361 01:08:55,834 --> 01:08:59,065 And you brought enough intolerance to allow my coming. 1362 01:08:59,274 --> 01:09:01,993 Now, everyone bow down to me! 1363 01:09:04,954 --> 01:09:06,023 SADDAM: Bend over! 1364 01:09:06,234 --> 01:09:07,792 What have we done? 1365 01:09:08,234 --> 01:09:10,873 Saddam, I'm the dark ruler, not you. 1366 01:09:11,074 --> 01:09:12,587 Relax. Better seen, not heard. 1367 01:09:12,794 --> 01:09:13,988 (KENNY MUMBLES) 1368 01:09:14,194 --> 01:09:15,229 I can't. 1369 01:09:15,474 --> 01:09:17,669 Let's start by building a big statue of me! 1370 01:09:17,914 --> 01:09:19,870 There, where that fat kid is standing. 1371 01:09:20,114 --> 01:09:22,309 Don't call me fat, buttfucker! 1372 01:09:28,154 --> 01:09:29,712 Yeah, Cartman, do it. 1373 01:09:29,954 --> 01:09:32,627 Damn! Shit! Respect my fucking authority! 1374 01:09:35,434 --> 01:09:37,584 You need to watch your mouth, brat! 1375 01:09:38,234 --> 01:09:40,190 Dogshit taco! 1376 01:09:44,394 --> 01:09:45,747 Quick, do something. 1377 01:09:45,994 --> 01:09:47,109 Try this on for size. 1378 01:09:48,394 --> 01:09:51,272 Blood-drenched, frozen tampon popsicle! 1379 01:09:53,474 --> 01:09:57,911 Buddy, I know I was mean before. But don't worry, I can change. 1380 01:09:59,154 --> 01:09:59,984 Okay. 1381 01:10:01,914 --> 01:10:02,903 Not! 1382 01:10:04,074 --> 01:10:06,110 Fuck, shit, cock, ass, titties, boner... 1383 01:10:06,354 --> 01:10:10,267 ...bitch, muff, pussy, cunt, butthole, Barbra Streisand! 1384 01:10:15,594 --> 01:10:18,028 What are you waiting for, bitch? Destroy him! 1385 01:10:18,834 --> 01:10:20,825 You weak, stupid cum bucket. Save me! 1386 01:10:21,074 --> 01:10:22,063 That's it! 1387 01:10:22,954 --> 01:10:25,787 I have had enough of you! 1388 01:10:38,834 --> 01:10:43,066 He spent so much time convincing me I was weak and stupid... 1389 01:10:43,274 --> 01:10:44,787 ...that I believed it myself. 1390 01:10:45,194 --> 01:10:46,832 I have you to thank, little one. 1391 01:10:47,354 --> 01:10:49,743 You showed me that I had to get away from him. 1392 01:10:49,994 --> 01:10:52,872 Just make any wish you want and I shall grant it. 1393 01:10:53,234 --> 01:10:55,031 (KENNY MUMBLES) 1394 01:10:55,914 --> 01:10:57,745 - Are you sure? - What did he say? 1395 01:10:57,994 --> 01:11:01,987 His wish is for everything to go back to the way it was before this war. 1396 01:11:02,354 --> 01:11:05,426 Kenny, you realize that means you'd go back too. 1397 01:11:05,674 --> 01:11:06,709 KENNY: I know. 1398 01:11:07,754 --> 01:11:10,348 (KENNY MUMBLES) 1399 01:11:14,834 --> 01:11:15,869 Very well, then. 1400 01:11:16,114 --> 01:11:17,786 I will pull my minions back. 1401 01:11:18,034 --> 01:11:21,709 I guess I'm destined to live in hell alone. 1402 01:11:22,794 --> 01:11:23,590 Hello. 1403 01:11:23,794 --> 01:11:25,022 What's this? 1404 01:11:25,234 --> 01:11:26,633 Hi, there, little guy. 1405 01:11:27,554 --> 01:11:29,624 Would you like to go to hell with me? 1406 01:11:29,874 --> 01:11:33,469 Sure. I bet we can be best friends, Mr. Satan. 1407 01:11:33,714 --> 01:11:36,103 Feel free to come back and visit anytime. 1408 01:11:36,354 --> 01:11:38,231 I just might do that. 1409 01:11:38,474 --> 01:11:39,145 Thanks, Kenny. 1410 01:11:39,354 --> 01:11:42,187 Thanks for going back to hell for us. You're a pal. 1411 01:11:46,554 --> 01:11:48,067 Goodbye, you guys. 1412 01:12:00,234 --> 01:12:01,906 I'm alive. Where's Mr. Hat? 1413 01:12:02,154 --> 01:12:06,113 Wow. We were all dying and now we're fine. That's super! 1414 01:12:06,354 --> 01:12:07,833 What the fuck's going on? 1415 01:12:12,034 --> 01:12:15,913 See, Mom? It was Cartman's filthy fucking mouth that saved us all. 1416 01:12:16,154 --> 01:12:19,066 I'm sorry I didn't pay attention to you, Kyle. 1417 01:12:21,434 --> 01:12:22,753 But what about Gregory? 1418 01:12:22,994 --> 01:12:25,144 - I never cared for Gregory. - You didn't? 1419 01:12:25,394 --> 01:12:27,862 No, dude. Fuck Gregory! Fuck him right in the ear! 1420 01:12:28,634 --> 01:12:29,669 Thank you, clitoris. 1421 01:12:29,914 --> 01:12:32,986 SINGING: Everything worked out What a happy end 1422 01:12:33,434 --> 01:12:36,983 Americans and Canadians Are friends again 1423 01:12:37,434 --> 01:12:41,063 So let's all join hands And knock oppression down 1424 01:12:41,474 --> 01:12:43,908 Don 't you know our little lives Are now complete? 1425 01:12:44,274 --> 01:12:46,390 'Cause Terrance and Phillip Are sweet 1426 01:12:46,634 --> 01:12:47,384 Super sweet 1427 01:12:47,634 --> 01:12:51,786 Thank God we live in this Quiet little pissant 1428 01:12:51,994 --> 01:12:53,586 Redneck Podunk jerkwater 1429 01:12:53,834 --> 01:12:57,190 Greenhorn one-horse mudhole Peckerwood right-wing whistle-stop 1430 01:12:57,394 --> 01:13:00,067 Hobnail truck-driving Old-fashioned hayseed inbred 1431 01:13:00,274 --> 01:13:02,185 Unkempt out-of-date White trash 1432 01:13:02,394 --> 01:13:05,989 Kick-ass! Mountain... 1433 01:13:07,474 --> 01:13:10,352 ...town! 1434 01:13:12,634 --> 01:13:13,669 Look! 1435 01:17:43,114 --> 01:17:44,103 English Subtitles by GELULA & CO., INC.