1 00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:09,794 Ooh. 2 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:12,327 [Contemporay bluesy music plays] 3 00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:23,949 ++ I woke up in a stupor ++ 4 00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:25,644 ++ Guess it's time to face the pooper ++ 5 00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:27,152 ++ Sometimes I feeI Iike Superman ++ 6 00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:30,384 ++ Sometimes I'm just recuperating ++ 7 00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:31,947 ++ Yeah ++ 8 00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:36,251 ++ My head Is twisting in its cage ++ 9 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,059 ++ My mind feeIs Iike a twenty gauge ++ 10 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,690 ++ Hope it's just a passing stage ++ 11 00:01:39,732 --> 00:01:41,131 ++ My heart's not red, it's beige ++ 12 00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:43,499 ++ It's days Iike this that burn me ++ 13 00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:46,835 ++ Turn me inside out and Iearn me ++ 14 00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:50,934 ++ Not to teII you anything I think I know ++ 15 00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:53,104 ++ But I think I'II teII you aII that I know ++ 16 00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:54,875 ++ Tried to teII you aII about it ++ 17 00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:56,643 ++ Thought you might've heard, I doubt it ++ 18 00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:59,652 ++ Every day's a waste I know, and every day's a funeraI ++ 19 00:01:59,686 --> 00:02:01,210 ++ Cutting out, I'm feeIing Iost ++ 20 00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:02,846 ++ Lost my mind, I'm Mr. Frost ++ 21 00:02:02,889 --> 00:02:04,516 ++ CoIIected aII the evidence, I'm off the edge ++ 22 00:02:04,557 --> 00:02:05,956 ++ I'm on the fence ++ 23 00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:08,153 ++ It's days Iike this that burn me ++ 24 00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:10,185 ++ Turn me inside out and Iearn me ++ 25 00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:12,198 RYAN.: HeIIo. HeIIoI 26 00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:14,723 -So--WaitI HeyI HeyI -What? 27 00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:16,530 You're such a rogue. Gimme that. 28 00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:18,696 -No! -Gimme that. 29 00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:21,866 Hey--hey! Hey! Hey! 30 00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:24,103 ++ I want to sink to the bottom of the ocean ++ 31 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,203 -Hey! Hey! -Hey? 32 00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:28,976 ++ With you tiII I'm gone ++ 33 00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:33,213 ++ At the bottom of the big bIue sea ++ 34 00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:35,312 ++ Just you and me ++ 35 00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:42,454 ++ At the bottom of the big bIue sea ++ 36 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:45,555 Hey, baby. Baby! 37 00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:49,398 Turn it off. Ugh! Turn it off! 38 00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:51,562 -Turn it off! -[Thump] 39 00:02:57,410 --> 00:02:58,877 Do you think this is a joke? 40 00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,846 When I come home tonight, we're gonna talk about this... 41 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,006 'cause this is not working. 42 00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:04,778 You want to push it even further? 43 00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:06,876 Whatever. This is ridiculous. 44 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,912 [Sighs] 45 00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:12,117 ++ Turn me inside out and Iearn me ++ 46 00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:16,822 ++ Not to teII you anything I think I know ++ 47 00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,923 ++ But I think I teII you more than I know ++ 48 00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:23,595 ++ I don't want to be aIone, I want to be a stone ++ 49 00:03:23,636 --> 00:03:26,730 ++ I want to sink to the bottom of the ocean ++ 50 00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,035 ++ And Iie there, Iie there with you ++ 51 00:03:28,951 --> 00:03:33,012 ++ Lie there with you tiII I'm gone ++ 52 00:03:33,055 --> 00:03:35,080 [Clicking] 53 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,025 [Blip] 54 00:03:42,698 --> 00:03:44,893 [Sighs] 55 00:03:47,570 --> 00:03:48,696 [Click] 56 00:03:48,738 --> 00:03:51,172 It happened again... 57 00:03:51,207 --> 00:03:52,799 last night. 58 00:03:52,842 --> 00:03:56,300 -Ohh. -Mmm. [Giggles] 59 00:03:56,345 --> 00:03:57,937 MATT.: It's hard to expIain. 60 00:03:57,980 --> 00:04:00,380 It starts out Iike an earthquake... 61 00:04:00,416 --> 00:04:02,247 [Sighs] 62 00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:05,220 And I Iook over at the girI next to me... 63 00:04:05,254 --> 00:04:07,882 and whoever she is, she's not NicoIe. 64 00:04:07,923 --> 00:04:10,153 [Door closes] 65 00:04:10,192 --> 00:04:12,660 And aII I feeI is emptiness. 66 00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:15,328 And that's when it happens. 67 00:04:15,364 --> 00:04:16,956 [Rumbling] 68 00:04:16,999 --> 00:04:20,992 This great big bIack hoIe... 69 00:04:21,037 --> 00:04:23,164 opens up over my head. 70 00:04:23,205 --> 00:04:25,332 Again with the black hole. 71 00:04:25,374 --> 00:04:29,174 -Yeah. -[Rumbling and cracking] 72 00:04:29,211 --> 00:04:32,908 It's nothing but vast emptiness. 73 00:04:32,948 --> 00:04:37,044 -And then what? -I panic. 74 00:04:37,086 --> 00:04:39,077 [Panting] 75 00:04:41,057 --> 00:04:42,388 [Thud] 76 00:04:49,265 --> 00:04:50,425 -Unh! -[Thud] 77 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,495 [Breathing heavily] 78 00:05:00,576 --> 00:05:03,374 You gotta help me. You gotta... 79 00:05:03,412 --> 00:05:04,606 light a candle for me or something. 80 00:05:04,647 --> 00:05:05,807 I'm not lighting a candle... 81 00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:07,281 so you can feel better about getting laid. 82 00:05:07,316 --> 00:05:08,783 That's not what this is about. 83 00:05:08,818 --> 00:05:09,978 [Bang] 84 00:05:10,019 --> 00:05:12,715 Look, it's been six months since Nicole dumped you. 85 00:05:12,755 --> 00:05:14,985 And you're running around feeling sory for yourself... 86 00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,286 screwing evey woman in sight. 87 00:05:16,325 --> 00:05:18,418 You want me to tell you it's OK, that God forgives you... 88 00:05:18,461 --> 00:05:20,929 but at some point, it's not OK, and he doesn't forgive you! 89 00:05:20,963 --> 00:05:22,089 What kind of advice is that? 90 00:05:22,131 --> 00:05:23,894 If you don't like my advice, go see a real priest. 91 00:05:23,933 --> 00:05:26,629 How will you be a real priest if you can't follow the rules? 92 00:05:26,669 --> 00:05:28,102 [Slam] 93 00:05:30,639 --> 00:05:33,107 Besides, you're... 94 00:05:33,142 --> 00:05:35,906 you're the only priest I know who happens to be my brother. 95 00:05:35,945 --> 00:05:39,005 And you're only a year away from being a real priest anyway. 96 00:05:39,048 --> 00:05:41,107 Two years. Look, what you need to do... 97 00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:44,608 is deal with your emotions and stop screwing around. 98 00:05:44,653 --> 00:05:48,282 What I don't need is a lecture from you, dick. 99 00:05:48,324 --> 00:05:50,792 [Slam] 100 00:05:50,826 --> 00:05:52,225 JOHN.: You're the dickI 101 00:05:52,261 --> 00:05:53,853 [Slams door] 102 00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:57,229 RYAN.: No. That sounds great. That sounds incredibIe. 103 00:05:57,266 --> 00:06:00,167 Uh-huh. We'll probably have to bump a few things... 104 00:06:00,202 --> 00:06:03,194 from our schedule, but we can make it happen for tonight. 105 00:06:03,239 --> 00:06:05,070 Yeah. Matt and I will definitely be there tonight. 106 00:06:05,107 --> 00:06:06,597 We're putting our bells on right now. 107 00:06:06,642 --> 00:06:10,635 [Laughs] OK. All right. Bye-bye. 108 00:06:10,679 --> 00:06:14,080 -I can't go. -What are you talking about? 109 00:06:14,116 --> 00:06:15,981 I just don't feel like it right now. 110 00:06:16,018 --> 00:06:17,451 You don't fe--Look! 111 00:06:17,486 --> 00:06:19,977 I know you're still tying to work out your Nicole issues... 112 00:06:20,022 --> 00:06:22,616 with the big black hole, but trust me, trust me-- 113 00:06:22,658 --> 00:06:24,250 I don't have any Nicole issues. 114 00:06:24,293 --> 00:06:28,024 Hi. I'm one of the many pictures of Nicole... 115 00:06:28,063 --> 00:06:30,759 that infest Ryan and Matt's apartment after six months. 116 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,461 And she's hot, Matt. I don't mind looking at her. 117 00:06:32,501 --> 00:06:33,627 I'm just saying you have issues. 118 00:06:33,669 --> 00:06:34,966 These are not issues. 119 00:06:35,004 --> 00:06:36,494 Do you still think about her when you jerk off? 120 00:06:36,539 --> 00:06:37,836 [Gulp] 121 00:06:37,873 --> 00:06:39,841 Anyway, I've got something that's gonna make it all better. 122 00:06:39,875 --> 00:06:43,311 Those two girls we met in Tahoe... 123 00:06:43,345 --> 00:06:46,109 in town for one night and one night only. 124 00:06:48,517 --> 00:06:50,917 Don't say no yet. No, don't say no. No, no, no. 125 00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:54,548 ''I want to come. They're hot. I want pussy.'' 126 00:06:54,590 --> 00:06:55,716 Oh, yeah! 127 00:06:55,758 --> 00:06:57,851 [Music playing] 128 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,000 -Ahem. Hi. -Hi. 129 00:07:07,036 --> 00:07:08,162 How are you doing? 130 00:07:08,204 --> 00:07:09,865 -Good. -Good. 131 00:07:09,905 --> 00:07:11,497 -You? -Excellent. 132 00:07:11,540 --> 00:07:13,531 [Laughs] Good. 133 00:07:14,677 --> 00:07:16,076 Mmm. Waiter? 134 00:07:18,881 --> 00:07:22,317 This isn't absolut vodka. I ordered absolut. 135 00:07:22,351 --> 00:07:25,377 -Yes, it is. -Are you calling me a liar? 136 00:07:25,421 --> 00:07:27,753 I'll bring you another one. 137 00:07:29,925 --> 00:07:33,224 Sory. I hope I didn't come off as mean. 138 00:07:33,262 --> 00:07:37,323 No, no, no. You know what you want. 139 00:07:37,366 --> 00:07:38,890 That's a good thing, right? 140 00:07:38,934 --> 00:07:42,370 Yeah. Yeah. Yes, I do. 141 00:07:42,404 --> 00:07:45,066 I know exactly what I want. 142 00:07:45,107 --> 00:07:47,166 [Laughing] 143 00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:56,075 Mmm. 144 00:07:56,118 --> 00:07:58,279 [Gasping] 145 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,880 [Cracking] 146 00:08:00,923 --> 00:08:02,914 Unh! 147 00:08:02,958 --> 00:08:05,051 Oh! 148 00:08:05,094 --> 00:08:06,220 I'm sory. I'm sory. 149 00:08:06,262 --> 00:08:08,457 -What's wrong? -Nothing. 150 00:08:08,497 --> 00:08:10,624 -I'll be right back, OK? -OK. 151 00:08:10,666 --> 00:08:12,896 [Panting] 152 00:08:12,935 --> 00:08:15,028 -[Turns water on] -Get it together. 153 00:08:16,305 --> 00:08:19,433 Hey. Throw me a magnum for my magnum, big boy? 154 00:08:19,475 --> 00:08:21,670 -Yeah. -Thank you. 155 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:25,271 Hey, have you ever noticed the crack on my ceiling? 156 00:08:25,314 --> 00:08:28,579 Dude, you're action-packed with issues. 157 00:08:28,617 --> 00:08:32,246 I can't do this anymore. I can't do it. 158 00:08:32,288 --> 00:08:34,415 What, does Johnny not want to come out and play? 159 00:08:34,456 --> 00:08:37,687 No. Johnny--Johnny's fine, OK? 160 00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:40,422 [Sighs] It's-- I'm all fucked up. 161 00:08:40,462 --> 00:08:43,260 All right, here's what you're gonna do. 162 00:08:43,299 --> 00:08:45,233 You're gonna strap a helmet on Big John... 163 00:08:45,267 --> 00:08:47,497 put him in the game and he will play his little heart out. 164 00:08:47,536 --> 00:08:49,060 OK? He'll put up big numbers for you. 165 00:08:49,104 --> 00:08:51,629 You're gonna forget about the cracks in the ceiling... 166 00:08:51,674 --> 00:08:53,232 forget about Nicole. 167 00:08:53,275 --> 00:08:57,211 Go out and give your star player the support he needs. 168 00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:59,806 -Right? -Right. 169 00:08:59,848 --> 00:09:01,645 Helmet. 170 00:09:01,684 --> 00:09:03,982 Oh, God! Yes! Ohh! 171 00:09:04,019 --> 00:09:05,680 Oh! Oh! 172 00:09:05,721 --> 00:09:08,588 Oh, come with me. Come with me. Are you ready? 173 00:09:08,624 --> 00:09:10,615 -Almost. -Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 174 00:09:10,659 --> 00:09:13,787 Oh, yes! Oh! 175 00:09:13,829 --> 00:09:16,320 [Rumbling] 176 00:09:16,365 --> 00:09:19,994 -What are you looking at? -Nothing. Nothing. 177 00:09:20,035 --> 00:09:22,629 -I'm--Unh. -Oh! Oh! 178 00:09:22,671 --> 00:09:25,640 Oh! Oh, yeah! 179 00:09:25,674 --> 00:09:26,800 [Cracking] 180 00:09:26,842 --> 00:09:30,642 Are you with me? I'm close. I'm close. 181 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:34,012 Unh! Oh! Oh, God! 182 00:09:34,049 --> 00:09:36,017 -Ready? -Now? 183 00:09:36,051 --> 00:09:38,019 Now! Ohh! 184 00:09:38,053 --> 00:09:39,611 Ohh. 185 00:09:39,655 --> 00:09:41,350 [Moaning] 186 00:09:44,827 --> 00:09:48,991 Ohhhh! 187 00:09:49,031 --> 00:09:52,330 Ohhhh! 188 00:09:52,368 --> 00:09:54,131 Unh. 189 00:09:54,169 --> 00:09:56,569 Oh-ho! 190 00:09:56,605 --> 00:09:58,766 Ohh. 191 00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:01,537 [Sighs] Ahh. 192 00:10:01,577 --> 00:10:03,807 What the fuck was that? 193 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,342 W-what? 194 00:10:06,382 --> 00:10:09,749 -Did you come? -Yeah. 195 00:10:09,785 --> 00:10:11,582 No, you didn't. You faked it. 196 00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:15,317 No, no, no. Guys don't fake it. I don't even think that we can. 197 00:10:15,357 --> 00:10:16,915 -You faked it. -Hey. 198 00:10:19,194 --> 00:10:21,560 Hey. Hey. 199 00:10:21,597 --> 00:10:24,031 [Grunting] 200 00:10:24,066 --> 00:10:25,897 Let go! 201 00:10:25,934 --> 00:10:29,836 -Show me. -Show you what? 202 00:10:29,872 --> 00:10:32,363 You know. The stuff. 203 00:10:32,408 --> 00:10:34,706 This is ridiculous. 204 00:10:34,743 --> 00:10:36,574 What are you hiding? 205 00:10:36,612 --> 00:10:40,207 Nothing. Just give me second, OK? 206 00:10:44,119 --> 00:10:45,484 -[Condom snaps] -Ow! 207 00:10:45,521 --> 00:10:48,149 -WOMAN: Just a sec. -[Toilet flushes] 208 00:10:50,793 --> 00:10:53,921 Here we go. Use anything. 209 00:10:53,962 --> 00:10:56,726 -What's going on? -I need something. 210 00:10:56,765 --> 00:10:59,632 Anything that looks like semen. OK? 211 00:10:59,668 --> 00:11:01,192 Something that looks like semen? 212 00:11:03,338 --> 00:11:05,067 WOMAN.: What is going on out there? 213 00:11:09,511 --> 00:11:10,910 Fuck! 214 00:11:12,014 --> 00:11:16,417 Eww. You are such a bad liar. 215 00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:25,682 -[Telephone ringing] -Hey, Duncan. 216 00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:28,629 -Thanks a lot, man. -What's up, Matt? 217 00:11:28,664 --> 00:11:30,825 -What's up, man? -Chris. 218 00:11:30,866 --> 00:11:33,426 Heard you tried to leave one in the chamber last night. 219 00:11:33,469 --> 00:11:36,233 -Where'd you hear that? -Internet. 220 00:11:36,271 --> 00:11:39,104 It's all on the internet nowadays, you know. 221 00:11:39,141 --> 00:11:40,733 This is an internet company. 222 00:11:40,776 --> 00:11:42,403 And Ryan has a big mouth, huh? 223 00:11:42,444 --> 00:11:45,345 -Morning, ladies. -Hmm. 224 00:11:47,783 --> 00:11:50,616 So, you in on the basketball pool or what? 225 00:11:50,652 --> 00:11:51,880 What's the line on that game anyway? 226 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,014 I'll talk to the bagel guy when he gets here. 227 00:11:55,057 --> 00:11:57,423 What does the bagel guy have to do with this? 228 00:11:57,459 --> 00:12:00,292 The bagel guy knows everything. The dude's incredible. 229 00:12:00,329 --> 00:12:02,422 Then how come can't he get here on time with the bagels? 230 00:12:04,733 --> 00:12:07,327 -Appreciate it. -Is that what I think it is? 231 00:12:07,369 --> 00:12:09,599 -Don't wory. -Can I see it? 232 00:12:09,638 --> 00:12:14,132 Hey. Dude, it's just been one of those days, you know? 233 00:12:14,176 --> 00:12:15,768 MATT.: Yes, I do. 234 00:12:15,811 --> 00:12:18,678 I got held up at this import- export place in Chinatown. 235 00:12:18,714 --> 00:12:20,682 Some party. 236 00:12:20,716 --> 00:12:22,911 -Golden Spear? -That's the one. 237 00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:25,545 Their mimosas they make there are strong. 238 00:12:25,587 --> 00:12:27,487 Go straight to your head. Blbbh. 239 00:12:29,191 --> 00:12:31,489 I used to know someone who worked there. 240 00:12:31,527 --> 00:12:33,495 You know Tatiana? 241 00:12:33,529 --> 00:12:35,224 Yeah, I know Tatiana. She's nice. 242 00:12:35,264 --> 00:12:36,561 No, she's not nice. She's hot. 243 00:12:36,598 --> 00:12:38,657 I'd hit that. And how about Merj? 244 00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:40,224 Yeah, I know Merj. 245 00:12:40,269 --> 00:12:42,737 And what about that really hot chick that got engaged? 246 00:12:42,771 --> 00:12:44,534 That was funny. 247 00:12:44,573 --> 00:12:45,972 What really hot chick got engaged? 248 00:12:46,008 --> 00:12:50,206 The expediter chick. You know, real slinky. 249 00:12:50,245 --> 00:12:52,475 -What's her name? -Nicole? 250 00:12:52,514 --> 00:12:53,742 Nicole. That's it. 251 00:12:53,782 --> 00:12:55,750 Man, she knows the guy, like, two weeks. 252 00:12:55,784 --> 00:12:58,184 She goes to France, she comes back, she's engaged. 253 00:12:58,220 --> 00:13:00,586 Now, she is spontaneous combustion hot. 254 00:13:00,622 --> 00:13:03,750 -I would definitely hit that. -[Clanking] 255 00:13:03,792 --> 00:13:07,387 How do you know it's Nicole-- N-Nicole that got engaged? 256 00:13:07,429 --> 00:13:09,863 Dude, that's what the banner said at the party. 257 00:13:09,898 --> 00:13:11,991 ''Congratulations Nicole.'' 258 00:13:12,034 --> 00:13:13,831 Whew. I can't believe it... 259 00:13:13,869 --> 00:13:15,700 because that girI, you can't even Iook right at her. 260 00:13:15,737 --> 00:13:19,229 She's so hot you need one of those eclipse-watching things... 261 00:13:19,274 --> 00:13:22,038 just to look directly at her, she's so radiantly hot! 262 00:13:22,077 --> 00:13:24,739 It makes me want to just throw her down, you know... 263 00:13:24,780 --> 00:13:27,248 and just--[Bang] You know what I mean? 264 00:13:27,282 --> 00:13:29,113 Yeah. 265 00:13:29,151 --> 00:13:30,982 I'm glad we can connect on that. 266 00:13:33,822 --> 00:13:35,050 Later, pimp. 267 00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:37,581 -Later. -Rrr! 268 00:13:47,302 --> 00:13:49,793 Hey, Matt-- 269 00:13:49,838 --> 00:13:51,863 Matt? 270 00:13:51,907 --> 00:13:53,932 You--you all right? 271 00:14:12,027 --> 00:14:14,018 [Horn honks] 272 00:14:46,161 --> 00:14:48,254 -Unh! -Oh! Oh! 273 00:14:48,297 --> 00:14:51,528 -Oh, God. I am so sory. -It's OK. It's OK. 274 00:14:51,566 --> 00:14:53,534 -Are you OK? -Yeah, I'm fine. 275 00:14:53,568 --> 00:14:56,935 Is there anything I can do to make it better? 276 00:14:56,972 --> 00:14:59,338 Um... 277 00:14:59,374 --> 00:15:00,966 anything? 278 00:15:01,176 --> 00:15:05,169 Again? Another girl already? 279 00:15:05,213 --> 00:15:09,411 -It's not even the weekend. -I know, I know. 280 00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:13,387 She met someone. NicoIe's getting married. 281 00:15:14,923 --> 00:15:17,357 I'm sory. 282 00:15:17,392 --> 00:15:19,826 I mean, what can I do? 283 00:15:19,861 --> 00:15:23,456 -Tell me what I can do. -I don't know what to tell you. 284 00:15:23,498 --> 00:15:26,399 This isn't really a problem I know much about. 285 00:15:28,537 --> 00:15:30,164 Listen, isn't part of the priestly thing... 286 00:15:30,205 --> 00:15:32,400 giving relationship advice? 287 00:15:32,441 --> 00:15:34,909 Relationship advice, yes. 288 00:15:34,943 --> 00:15:37,070 Sex advice, no. 289 00:15:37,112 --> 00:15:39,808 Part of the priestly thing, and stop calling it that... 290 00:15:39,848 --> 00:15:41,247 is not to have sex, remember? 291 00:15:41,283 --> 00:15:43,717 It's funny. I didn't say a thing about sex. 292 00:15:43,752 --> 00:15:45,947 -Sure you did. -No, I didn't. 293 00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:48,889 I guess thinking about sex is part of the priestly thing. 294 00:15:48,924 --> 00:15:50,050 At least for some. 295 00:15:50,092 --> 00:15:53,084 -Get out. -Fine. 296 00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:02,760 -Good morning, Matt. -Morning, father. 297 00:16:02,804 --> 00:16:04,533 What's with the purple banners? 298 00:16:04,573 --> 00:16:07,371 Lent. Starts today. 299 00:16:07,409 --> 00:16:09,934 Going to be a long forty days this year. 300 00:16:09,978 --> 00:16:12,276 I'm giving up my one vice-- 301 00:16:12,314 --> 00:16:15,044 those precious little madeleine cookies... 302 00:16:15,083 --> 00:16:17,608 dipped in a starbucks mocha. 303 00:16:17,652 --> 00:16:21,850 It's so hard giving up what you love the most. 304 00:16:26,228 --> 00:16:29,197 I've got it! Jesus Christ, John, I've got an answer! 305 00:16:29,231 --> 00:16:30,528 And the question is? 306 00:16:30,565 --> 00:16:31,896 -Nicole. -Again? 307 00:16:31,933 --> 00:16:34,868 No sex for Lent-- for forty days. 308 00:16:34,903 --> 00:16:36,894 If I can do that, then everything will be OK. 309 00:16:36,938 --> 00:16:38,166 That isn't what Lent is. 310 00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:41,403 Lent is about sacrifice and growth through self-denial. 311 00:16:41,443 --> 00:16:42,603 Lent is to remember-- 312 00:16:42,644 --> 00:16:45,579 How Christ felt during the fast in the desert. 313 00:16:45,614 --> 00:16:47,377 I grew up in the same house as you, moron. 314 00:16:47,416 --> 00:16:49,782 But when it comes down to it, that's exactly what this is. 315 00:16:49,818 --> 00:16:51,979 This is growth, this is self-denial... 316 00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:55,217 and this is sacrifice. 317 00:16:55,257 --> 00:16:58,420 Dude! 318 00:16:58,460 --> 00:17:00,223 It's not that simple, Matt. Trust me. 319 00:17:00,262 --> 00:17:01,422 It is that... 320 00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:06,599 You're right. 321 00:17:06,635 --> 00:17:09,968 You're totally right. 322 00:17:10,005 --> 00:17:12,735 Sex alone is not enough. 323 00:17:12,774 --> 00:17:15,242 It has to be sex and all things sex-like. 324 00:17:15,277 --> 00:17:17,268 You'll never be able to do that. 325 00:17:17,312 --> 00:17:19,007 Just listen, here's the plan. 326 00:17:19,047 --> 00:17:21,777 One--no sex. 327 00:17:21,817 --> 00:17:24,615 Two-- no sexual intimacy of any kind. 328 00:17:24,653 --> 00:17:27,087 No nibbling, no biting, no scratching. 329 00:17:27,122 --> 00:17:30,853 No sucking, no fondIing. None of that. 330 00:17:30,892 --> 00:17:33,622 And three... 331 00:17:33,662 --> 00:17:36,187 no masturbation. 332 00:17:36,231 --> 00:17:38,165 You won't last a week. 333 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,031 Oh, you're wrong, brother. 334 00:17:40,068 --> 00:17:42,434 I'm gonna go the distance. 335 00:17:44,039 --> 00:17:51,343 MAN.: ++ Mmm ++ 336 00:17:51,379 --> 00:17:53,244 ++ Then I was grown to be a man ++ 337 00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:54,942 CHORUS.: ++ Grown to be a man ++ 338 00:17:54,983 --> 00:17:56,644 MAN.: ++ And the deviI wouId caII my name ++ 339 00:17:56,685 --> 00:17:58,516 CHORUS.: ++ Grown to be a man ++ 340 00:17:58,553 --> 00:18:00,919 MAN.: ++ I said, ''Who do''++ 341 00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:03,516 ++ ''Who do you think you're fooIin'?''++ 342 00:18:03,558 --> 00:18:05,116 CHORUS.: ++ Grown to be a man ++ 343 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,186 MAN.: ++ I can snatch a IittIe purity ++ 344 00:18:08,230 --> 00:18:10,630 ++ My mama Ioved me ++ 345 00:18:10,665 --> 00:18:12,292 ++ She Ioved me ++ 346 00:18:12,334 --> 00:18:14,996 ++ She got down on her knees and hugged me ++ 347 00:18:15,036 --> 00:18:18,028 ++ And she Ioved me Iike a rock ++ 348 00:18:18,073 --> 00:18:19,472 ++ Whoa, yeah ++ 349 00:18:19,508 --> 00:18:23,968 ++ Rocked me Iike the rock of ages and Ioved me ++ 350 00:18:24,012 --> 00:18:26,344 ++ She Ioved me, Ioved me, Ioved me ++ 351 00:18:26,381 --> 00:18:27,973 CHORUS.: ++ Loved me Iike a rock ++ 352 00:18:28,016 --> 00:18:30,007 MAN.: ++ My mama Ioves me ++ 353 00:18:30,051 --> 00:18:32,019 CHORUS.: ++ Loves me Iike a rock ++ 354 00:18:32,053 --> 00:18:34,112 Your brother looks happy. 355 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:36,920 He's just taken a vow of celibacy. 356 00:18:36,958 --> 00:18:38,949 Oh. 357 00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:40,393 Oh, dear. 358 00:18:40,428 --> 00:18:42,419 [Claps] 359 00:18:51,373 --> 00:18:54,433 ++ Live, baby, Iive ++ 360 00:18:54,476 --> 00:18:56,740 ++ Now that the day is over ++ 361 00:18:59,447 --> 00:19:02,177 ++ I got a new sensation ++ 362 00:19:03,451 --> 00:19:06,852 ++ In perfect moments ++ 363 00:19:06,888 --> 00:19:12,019 ++ So impossibIe to refuse ++ 364 00:19:16,464 --> 00:19:19,558 ++ SIeep, baby, sIeep ++ 365 00:19:19,601 --> 00:19:22,468 ++ Now that the night is over ++ 366 00:19:24,139 --> 00:19:27,939 ++ And the sun comes Iike a God ++ 367 00:19:27,976 --> 00:19:30,410 ++ Into our room ++ 368 00:19:30,445 --> 00:19:33,778 Whoo. Dude. 369 00:19:33,815 --> 00:19:35,783 ++ AII perfect Iight and prom-- ++ 370 00:19:35,817 --> 00:19:37,148 [Music stops] 371 00:19:37,185 --> 00:19:38,311 Dude. 372 00:19:38,353 --> 00:19:39,820 What the fuck is that? 373 00:19:39,854 --> 00:19:43,551 This is a 1966 Karmann Ghia coupe. 374 00:19:43,592 --> 00:19:44,718 When I'm finished with that, I'm gonna do... 375 00:19:44,759 --> 00:19:47,785 the Caterham super seven cycIe-fender speciaI. 376 00:19:49,931 --> 00:19:52,866 We're going out tonight. There's this club-- 377 00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:54,493 Remember that Australian chick--Jennifer Moss? 378 00:19:54,536 --> 00:19:56,367 She's got friends visiting from Sydney. 379 00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:57,894 Can't. I have laundy. 380 00:19:57,939 --> 00:20:01,670 Do you know why they call it down under, Matt? 381 00:20:01,710 --> 00:20:03,439 I still can't. 382 00:20:03,478 --> 00:20:06,675 Do you realize how much time we waste thinking about girls? 383 00:20:08,283 --> 00:20:11,946 You want some alone time in the apartment for jerking off. 384 00:20:11,987 --> 00:20:14,012 That's cool. I can do that. That's cool. 385 00:20:14,055 --> 00:20:17,115 I'II teII 'em you said hi. 386 00:20:17,325 --> 00:20:19,316 [Thunder] 387 00:20:56,431 --> 00:20:58,456 Ohh. 388 00:21:02,203 --> 00:21:03,568 Ahem. 389 00:21:03,605 --> 00:21:06,802 Do you have change for two dollars? 390 00:21:26,895 --> 00:21:28,760 Excuse me. I forgot something to read. 391 00:21:28,797 --> 00:21:30,560 Do you mind if I borrow this? 392 00:21:30,598 --> 00:21:32,793 Thanks. 393 00:21:39,541 --> 00:21:40,940 A lovers' rendezvous. 394 00:21:43,144 --> 00:21:46,580 You--you underline words that you don't know... 395 00:21:46,614 --> 00:21:47,706 and then look them up later? 396 00:21:47,749 --> 00:21:51,207 Right? And you underlined ''tyst''... 397 00:21:51,252 --> 00:21:53,982 which is a meeting of lovers. 398 00:21:56,624 --> 00:21:59,286 I do that, too, so... 399 00:22:09,437 --> 00:22:12,372 Ahem. Matt? 400 00:22:12,407 --> 00:22:14,898 It was on the cover of the magazine. 401 00:22:14,943 --> 00:22:16,706 [Sighs] 402 00:22:16,745 --> 00:22:18,804 Can I borrow a sheet of fabric softener? 403 00:22:22,684 --> 00:22:24,049 Thanks. 404 00:22:27,756 --> 00:22:28,916 [Closes dyer] 405 00:22:35,964 --> 00:22:37,397 Ahem. 406 00:22:37,432 --> 00:22:40,526 It's been really fun almost chatting with you. 407 00:22:42,337 --> 00:22:43,634 Same time next week? 408 00:22:45,373 --> 00:22:47,864 OK. Bye. 409 00:22:56,618 --> 00:22:58,518 You are way ahead of schedule. 410 00:22:58,553 --> 00:23:01,488 If I were you, I'd give me something else to do quick. 411 00:23:01,523 --> 00:23:02,854 What about the Willow and Smart account? 412 00:23:02,891 --> 00:23:04,119 Think you can handle that? 413 00:23:04,159 --> 00:23:05,626 I know window treatments aren't the sexiest-- 414 00:23:05,660 --> 00:23:08,424 Oh, no, no. Doesn't bother me at all. 415 00:23:08,463 --> 00:23:11,296 Good. You'll be designing the entire webpage. 416 00:23:13,635 --> 00:23:14,795 OK. 417 00:23:21,242 --> 00:23:22,402 [Drops bag] 418 00:23:26,848 --> 00:23:29,316 MATT.: Hey, Ryan. What's happening? 419 00:23:29,350 --> 00:23:32,649 ++ Turn off the Iights ++ 420 00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:36,113 Do you know how many hours I spent... 421 00:23:36,157 --> 00:23:37,715 looking for my Temple of Poon tape? 422 00:23:37,759 --> 00:23:40,455 One. That's a long time to be looking for porn, Matt. 423 00:23:40,495 --> 00:23:42,019 What the fuck is going on here? 424 00:23:44,265 --> 00:23:46,790 One--you can't do it. 425 00:23:46,835 --> 00:23:49,565 You can't. This isn't a personal attack towards you. 426 00:23:49,604 --> 00:23:52,038 No man can do it. It goes against nature. 427 00:23:52,073 --> 00:23:55,008 The male was biologically designed to spread his seed. 428 00:23:55,043 --> 00:23:56,704 You're gonna piss off the seeds, man! 429 00:23:56,744 --> 00:23:59,008 You're gonna-- It goes against science! 430 00:23:59,047 --> 00:24:00,344 You want to be the guy who goes against science? 431 00:24:02,217 --> 00:24:03,582 And two? 432 00:24:03,618 --> 00:24:05,415 Two--are you out of your fucking mind? 433 00:24:05,453 --> 00:24:07,148 You're the guy who can't finish a sandwich! 434 00:24:07,188 --> 00:24:08,746 You think you can go forty days? 435 00:24:08,790 --> 00:24:11,850 Four--You-- This isn't normal! 436 00:24:14,429 --> 00:24:18,525 -[Sighs] -She got engaged, Ryan. 437 00:24:18,566 --> 00:24:21,797 Nicole got engaged. 438 00:24:21,836 --> 00:24:23,167 Well... 439 00:24:25,273 --> 00:24:29,039 I knew that. I knew that. I--I didn't tell you... 440 00:24:29,077 --> 00:24:30,237 just because I thought you'd get pissed off. 441 00:24:30,278 --> 00:24:31,404 I'm sory. I should have told you. 442 00:24:31,446 --> 00:24:32,743 I had to hear it from the bagel guy! 443 00:24:32,780 --> 00:24:35,180 -Does that guy know everything? -You should have told me! 444 00:24:35,216 --> 00:24:37,013 I know that. I completely should have told you. 445 00:24:37,051 --> 00:24:40,316 I'm sory. Just explain this to me, though, all right? 446 00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:45,088 Nicole gets engaged, you decide to take a vow of abstinence. 447 00:24:45,126 --> 00:24:47,560 Haven't you gotten to the point where you need to take a break? 448 00:24:47,595 --> 00:24:52,498 Yes! Look, Matt, I swear off girls once a week. 449 00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:54,525 Then, before you know it, it's morning. 450 00:24:54,569 --> 00:24:55,797 That's part of the game. 451 00:24:55,837 --> 00:24:58,237 Did your brother put you up to this or something? 452 00:24:58,273 --> 00:25:00,571 You know what? He's about as supportive as you are. 453 00:25:00,608 --> 00:25:03,441 What do you care anyway? This doesn't affect you in any way. 454 00:25:03,478 --> 00:25:05,605 [Sighs] 455 00:25:05,647 --> 00:25:08,241 You... 456 00:25:08,283 --> 00:25:10,649 This affects eveyone. 457 00:25:10,685 --> 00:25:12,448 CHRIS.: Right now, the pot is at two hundred. 458 00:25:12,487 --> 00:25:15,081 It's a minimum bet of $50 a day, which goes into the pot. 459 00:25:15,123 --> 00:25:17,455 If your day's the day, you win the pot, less expenses... 460 00:25:17,492 --> 00:25:19,824 and a bottle of champagne. 461 00:25:19,861 --> 00:25:22,352 If more than one person bets on the winning day... 462 00:25:22,397 --> 00:25:24,092 they split the pot according to the percentage... 463 00:25:24,132 --> 00:25:26,999 of the day's total bets that have been placed. 464 00:25:27,035 --> 00:25:29,902 I go forty days without sex all the time. 465 00:25:29,938 --> 00:25:31,963 But, dude, you spank it. 466 00:25:32,006 --> 00:25:33,132 -No jerkin' off? -True. 467 00:25:33,174 --> 00:25:35,438 Yeah. That's why my money's on today. 468 00:25:35,476 --> 00:25:37,501 There are two things to bet on-- 469 00:25:37,545 --> 00:25:41,481 one-- will it be with some girl? 470 00:25:41,516 --> 00:25:47,978 Two--will it be some lonely night down the stretch? Pbbt. 471 00:25:48,022 --> 00:25:49,990 [Laughing] 472 00:25:50,024 --> 00:25:53,585 How will we know that, exactly? 473 00:25:53,628 --> 00:25:56,722 Well, I can't tell you everything... 474 00:25:56,764 --> 00:25:59,790 but I can tell you that there is somebody on the inside. 475 00:25:59,834 --> 00:26:01,358 Yep. Like Ryan. 476 00:26:01,402 --> 00:26:02,767 OK, so Matt doesn't know anything? 477 00:26:02,804 --> 00:26:05,329 No, no, no, no. 478 00:26:05,373 --> 00:26:08,968 That is vey important--key. 479 00:26:09,177 --> 00:26:12,510 This is great. I mean, this is crazy great. 480 00:26:12,547 --> 00:26:16,278 Everything is so much simpler when there's no sex involved. 481 00:26:16,317 --> 00:26:19,218 I think this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. 482 00:26:19,253 --> 00:26:21,346 You're starting to feel it, aren't you? 483 00:26:21,389 --> 00:26:23,220 What? 484 00:26:23,257 --> 00:26:26,693 The abstinence--it's starting to get under your skin. 485 00:26:26,728 --> 00:26:30,289 No. Not at all. I'm fine. 486 00:26:30,331 --> 00:26:31,457 [Slides panel] 487 00:26:31,499 --> 00:26:35,196 You know what I gave up for Lent? 488 00:26:35,236 --> 00:26:39,195 Meat. Why don't you ty something like that? 489 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,470 Trust me. Celibacy takes years... 490 00:26:41,509 --> 00:26:43,670 of commitment, character, and discipline... 491 00:26:43,711 --> 00:26:46,179 which, quite frankly, are not your best traits. 492 00:26:46,214 --> 00:26:48,682 You think you're the only one with a little willpower? 493 00:26:48,716 --> 00:26:50,650 A little willpower? 494 00:26:50,685 --> 00:26:52,710 If you can do this, I can do this. 495 00:26:52,754 --> 00:26:55,154 You have no idea. 496 00:26:55,189 --> 00:26:56,622 What is so hard about forty days? 497 00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:57,818 MANDY.: They're guys. 498 00:26:57,859 --> 00:27:00,726 To them, forty minutes is like an eternity. 499 00:27:00,762 --> 00:27:01,888 They're like animals. 500 00:27:01,929 --> 00:27:05,057 Their entire lives revolve around their penises. 501 00:27:05,099 --> 00:27:07,294 How many days do you think he'll last? 502 00:27:07,335 --> 00:27:11,237 Days? Mm-mmm, girl. Watch this. 503 00:27:11,272 --> 00:27:15,402 MANDY.: [Laughs] Uh-oh. 504 00:27:15,443 --> 00:27:16,603 You are so bad. 505 00:27:18,780 --> 00:27:20,111 [Thwack] 506 00:27:28,823 --> 00:27:31,223 -Hi. -Hi. 507 00:27:32,827 --> 00:27:36,194 Did you, um, do these layouts? 508 00:27:36,230 --> 00:27:38,698 I helped on them, kind of. 509 00:27:41,769 --> 00:27:43,600 These are amazing. 510 00:27:43,638 --> 00:27:47,074 Thanks. 511 00:27:47,108 --> 00:27:51,704 You're like this totally amazing layout guy. 512 00:27:51,746 --> 00:27:54,977 Something's happening. Behind me. 513 00:27:55,016 --> 00:27:56,950 [Chair rattles] 514 00:27:57,952 --> 00:28:00,580 -OK, come here. -Oh, no. 515 00:28:02,423 --> 00:28:05,756 Hey, I have a big layout problem. 516 00:28:07,962 --> 00:28:10,226 You do? 517 00:28:10,264 --> 00:28:11,993 Can you keep a secret? 518 00:28:12,033 --> 00:28:14,092 Yeah. 519 00:28:17,271 --> 00:28:18,829 Oh, goodness. 520 00:28:20,208 --> 00:28:24,269 I have this tattoo of a butterfly... 521 00:28:24,312 --> 00:28:26,337 on the inside of my thigh. 522 00:28:26,380 --> 00:28:28,348 Yes, you do. Ahem. 523 00:28:28,382 --> 00:28:30,748 And I want to get something on the other side... 524 00:28:30,785 --> 00:28:33,754 but, um, I don't know what to get. 525 00:28:33,788 --> 00:28:36,814 Any ideas? 526 00:28:36,858 --> 00:28:38,325 I don't know. 527 00:28:38,359 --> 00:28:40,452 I was thinking about... 528 00:28:40,495 --> 00:28:42,292 like a cute little pussycat or something. 529 00:28:42,330 --> 00:28:45,094 Do you like pussy...cats, Matt? 530 00:28:45,133 --> 00:28:46,691 Yeah. 531 00:28:46,734 --> 00:28:48,793 'Cause if you're not doing anything later... 532 00:28:48,836 --> 00:28:51,202 you should come over and help me pick one out. 533 00:28:51,239 --> 00:28:52,365 [Scratches] 534 00:28:52,406 --> 00:28:54,601 I can't. I mean, we can't... 535 00:28:54,642 --> 00:28:57,634 because pussycats are mean to butterflies. 536 00:28:57,678 --> 00:28:59,543 They don't Iike them. They disIike them very much... 537 00:28:59,580 --> 00:29:01,275 and hit them with their paws... 538 00:29:01,315 --> 00:29:02,782 and it hurts the little butterfly. 539 00:29:02,817 --> 00:29:06,981 -Right. -Yeah. 540 00:29:07,021 --> 00:29:10,582 Well, OK, if you change your mind... 541 00:29:10,625 --> 00:29:13,321 [Copier hums] 542 00:29:13,361 --> 00:29:15,829 Did she just xerox her ass? 543 00:29:15,863 --> 00:29:18,491 -What? -Get off me! 544 00:29:18,533 --> 00:29:21,969 Give me a caII, OK? 545 00:29:24,172 --> 00:29:25,901 -Ahem. -[Rattling] 546 00:29:25,940 --> 00:29:27,931 [Squeaking toy] 547 00:29:32,547 --> 00:29:35,311 This is a photocopy of Candy's ass? 548 00:29:36,918 --> 00:29:38,249 Yep. 549 00:29:38,286 --> 00:29:40,220 You're gonna call her, right? 550 00:29:42,290 --> 00:29:44,554 Obviously, you're gonna call her. 551 00:29:44,592 --> 00:29:48,028 No. I'm not gonna call her. 552 00:29:50,464 --> 00:29:54,366 Ha ha! As soon as you don't want it, they can smell it. 553 00:29:54,402 --> 00:29:57,894 She photocopied her ass. She photocopied her own ass. 554 00:29:57,939 --> 00:29:59,099 You're doing a lot of laundy lately. 555 00:29:59,140 --> 00:30:00,471 Didn't you just do it Iast week? 556 00:30:00,508 --> 00:30:02,408 Just keeping it clean. 557 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:07,040 Who is she? 558 00:30:09,383 --> 00:30:11,044 Look, I'm not gonna sit in my room... 559 00:30:11,085 --> 00:30:12,712 and build models for the next forty days. 560 00:30:12,753 --> 00:30:16,189 -Oh, you like her! -It's--it's not that. 561 00:30:16,224 --> 00:30:17,953 No, no, no! Have a nice time. 562 00:30:18,259 --> 00:30:21,956 ++ BasicaIIy probabiIity ++ 563 00:30:21,996 --> 00:30:25,432 ++ Says that things gonna start with me ++ 564 00:30:25,466 --> 00:30:27,900 ++ It's been so Iong ++ 565 00:30:27,935 --> 00:30:30,563 ++ On my sheIf ++ 566 00:30:33,608 --> 00:30:38,636 ++ Train comes, I don't know its destination ++ 567 00:30:38,679 --> 00:30:40,271 [Snaps fingers] 568 00:30:40,314 --> 00:30:46,253 ++ It's a one-way ticket to a bad, bad situation ++ 569 00:30:46,287 --> 00:30:47,982 Busted. 570 00:30:48,022 --> 00:30:51,048 ++ Train comes, I don't know-- ++ 571 00:30:51,092 --> 00:30:52,491 -Yeah. -[Turns music of] 572 00:30:54,695 --> 00:30:57,061 I thought I should tell you I can speak just fine. 573 00:31:02,403 --> 00:31:03,802 They were all out of flowers. 574 00:31:03,838 --> 00:31:06,329 Yeah. That's cute. 575 00:31:06,374 --> 00:31:09,172 I'm Matt. Officially. 576 00:31:09,210 --> 00:31:10,734 Officially Matt. 577 00:31:10,778 --> 00:31:13,770 [Laughs] Officially Erica. 578 00:31:13,814 --> 00:31:15,281 Officially. 579 00:31:15,316 --> 00:31:17,648 So, you normally do your laundy on Friday nights? 580 00:31:17,685 --> 00:31:19,744 -Yeah. It's my new thing. -New thing? 581 00:31:19,787 --> 00:31:24,724 Well, there was a party... 582 00:31:24,759 --> 00:31:26,158 [Sighs] 583 00:31:26,193 --> 00:31:28,058 Don't you ever feel like you just keep meeting... 584 00:31:28,095 --> 00:31:30,859 the same exact people over and over? 585 00:31:30,898 --> 00:31:33,196 Like people that went to this kind of college... 586 00:31:33,234 --> 00:31:35,099 And now work that kind of job, right? 587 00:31:35,136 --> 00:31:36,296 Yeah. 588 00:31:38,539 --> 00:31:40,905 I want to have a party with a list at the door... 589 00:31:40,942 --> 00:31:42,876 of all my friends and friends of friends... 590 00:31:42,910 --> 00:31:44,901 and if you're on that list... 591 00:31:44,946 --> 00:31:46,436 or you know somebody on that list... 592 00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,209 then you cannot come in. 593 00:31:48,249 --> 00:31:49,841 [Laughs] 594 00:31:49,884 --> 00:31:53,547 How do you know I'm not on that list? 595 00:31:53,587 --> 00:31:55,680 Nobody on that list would have talked to me... 596 00:31:55,723 --> 00:31:57,350 like you did last week. 597 00:31:57,391 --> 00:31:59,120 Or not talked to me. 598 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,128 [Laughs] Fair enough, fair enough. 599 00:32:04,665 --> 00:32:07,896 So, what do you do for laundy money? 600 00:32:07,935 --> 00:32:10,460 I'm a cyber nanny. 601 00:32:10,504 --> 00:32:13,064 What--what's that? 602 00:32:13,107 --> 00:32:15,735 I spend all day looking for pornography on the web. 603 00:32:15,776 --> 00:32:18,301 All right, say you have a ten-year-old kid... 604 00:32:18,346 --> 00:32:21,179 with an Imac and a browser, and she searches ''Girlfriends''... 605 00:32:21,215 --> 00:32:23,649 and then gets lesbian mud wrestling. 606 00:32:23,684 --> 00:32:26,847 -Probably not the best thing. -But you can't avoid it. 607 00:32:26,887 --> 00:32:28,752 Like today, I ran a search for ''sandbox''... 608 00:32:28,789 --> 00:32:31,053 and got ''eat my box''... 609 00:32:31,092 --> 00:32:33,322 ''Sandy's hot box''... 610 00:32:33,361 --> 00:32:36,091 and my favorite, ''vagina beach.'' 611 00:32:36,130 --> 00:32:41,762 My job is to find the site and block it out. 612 00:32:41,802 --> 00:32:45,033 So, you have to look at these sex sites all day long? 613 00:32:45,072 --> 00:32:47,097 Yeah. All day. 614 00:32:49,043 --> 00:32:50,271 Drive you crazy after a while? 615 00:32:50,311 --> 00:32:51,835 Yeah. Some days I think... 616 00:32:51,879 --> 00:32:53,870 that if I have to look at another blowjob I'll scream. 617 00:32:53,914 --> 00:32:57,873 God, yes. Same thing happens to me. 618 00:32:57,918 --> 00:32:59,681 [Laughs] 619 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:02,120 [Laughs] 620 00:33:02,156 --> 00:33:02,423 What, you're going on a date with her? 621 00:33:02,423 --> 00:33:03,947 What, you're going on a date with her? 622 00:33:03,991 --> 00:33:06,755 Isn't that kind of getting in the way of your thing? 623 00:33:06,794 --> 00:33:10,025 -No, not at all. -So you're not into her? 624 00:33:10,064 --> 00:33:11,497 Oh, I'm totally into her. 625 00:33:11,532 --> 00:33:12,897 So how can you not want to fuck her? 626 00:33:12,933 --> 00:33:14,730 Listen, you haven't heard a word I said. 627 00:33:14,769 --> 00:33:18,637 It's perfect the way it is, and she's amazing... 628 00:33:18,672 --> 00:33:19,900 and we are totally connecting... 629 00:33:19,940 --> 00:33:22,966 and it's not a sexual thing, not for either of us. 630 00:33:23,010 --> 00:33:25,638 Dude, you've got to tell her. Seriously. 631 00:33:25,679 --> 00:33:28,079 You can pass off two dates without a kiss as old-fashioned. 632 00:33:28,115 --> 00:33:29,412 You go three, and you're a homo. 633 00:33:30,985 --> 00:33:33,579 Yeah, yeah, I can see that. 634 00:33:33,621 --> 00:33:36,112 Just got off the phone with the guy. 635 00:33:36,157 --> 00:33:39,058 There's a preliminay report-- a date happening on Thursday. 636 00:33:39,093 --> 00:33:41,926 -What? Different girl? -Same girl. Different date. 637 00:33:41,962 --> 00:33:46,456 He is taking her on...the bus. 638 00:33:48,035 --> 00:33:49,696 On the bus where? 639 00:33:51,038 --> 00:33:54,940 Nowhere. That's the point. 640 00:33:54,975 --> 00:33:58,308 He just gets on the bus and goes around. 641 00:33:58,345 --> 00:34:00,677 Mmm. 642 00:34:03,050 --> 00:34:04,176 If you want to get laid... 643 00:34:04,218 --> 00:34:06,345 you take a chick to a fancy restaurant. 644 00:34:06,387 --> 00:34:07,911 But if you really like her... 645 00:34:07,955 --> 00:34:09,547 you take her to your secret place. 646 00:34:09,590 --> 00:34:11,148 That's the bus for Matt. 647 00:34:11,192 --> 00:34:13,490 Yeah. Mine's the post office. 648 00:34:13,527 --> 00:34:15,586 I don't understand. So he's gonna get laid? 649 00:34:15,629 --> 00:34:17,290 -Why ask me questions? -I'll take Thursday. 650 00:34:17,331 --> 00:34:19,697 I like to take girls there, and I say, ''Let's go postal.'' 651 00:34:19,733 --> 00:34:21,462 -Shut up! -Shut up! 652 00:34:26,507 --> 00:34:28,304 Are you gonna be OK with this guy? 653 00:34:28,342 --> 00:34:29,866 Yeah. He's great. 654 00:34:29,910 --> 00:34:33,471 -I'll be waiting up for you. -No, you won't. 655 00:34:33,514 --> 00:34:34,674 Oh, really? 656 00:34:34,715 --> 00:34:36,546 If I bring this guy home tonight... 657 00:34:36,584 --> 00:34:38,916 you better make yourself scarce, and I'm not joking, Sam. 658 00:34:38,953 --> 00:34:41,854 -OK. Bye. -Bye. 659 00:34:46,694 --> 00:34:48,252 [Bump] 660 00:34:48,295 --> 00:34:52,095 ++ I remember when I found out about chemistry ++ 661 00:34:52,133 --> 00:34:55,193 ++ It was a Iong, Iong way from here ++ 662 00:34:55,236 --> 00:34:57,500 ++ I was oId enough to want it ++ 663 00:34:57,538 --> 00:35:00,166 ++ But younger than I wanted to be ++ 664 00:35:00,207 --> 00:35:03,699 ++ SuddenIy, my mission was cIear ++ 665 00:35:03,744 --> 00:35:07,805 ++ So for a whiIe I conducted experiments ++ 666 00:35:07,848 --> 00:35:11,113 ++ And I was amazed by the things I Iearned ++ 667 00:35:11,152 --> 00:35:13,882 ++ From the fine, fine girIs ++ 668 00:35:13,921 --> 00:35:15,684 ++ Nothing but good intentions ++ 669 00:35:15,723 --> 00:35:20,251 ++ And a bad tendency to get burned ++ 670 00:35:20,294 --> 00:35:24,253 ++ Ahh, aII about chemistry ++ 671 00:35:24,298 --> 00:35:28,064 ++ Won't you show me everything you know? ++ 672 00:35:28,102 --> 00:35:31,560 ++ Ahh, wonder what you'd do to me ++ 673 00:35:31,605 --> 00:35:34,039 -There you go! -Ha! All right! 674 00:35:34,074 --> 00:35:36,065 Hmm. Told you. 675 00:35:36,110 --> 00:35:38,044 So, did any other guys ever take you on a bus? 676 00:35:38,078 --> 00:35:40,478 Well, there... 677 00:35:40,514 --> 00:35:44,075 there was a guy who got us kicked off a bus... 678 00:35:44,118 --> 00:35:46,450 and another guy who tried to steal a bus... 679 00:35:46,487 --> 00:35:49,422 and then the most recent guy I dated... 680 00:35:49,456 --> 00:35:53,586 went through a phase where he actually thought he was a bus. 681 00:35:56,263 --> 00:35:58,731 Where do you find guys like that? 682 00:35:58,766 --> 00:36:02,463 I don't. I don't. They just... 683 00:36:02,503 --> 00:36:03,902 They always find me. 684 00:36:03,938 --> 00:36:05,667 They aIways find me. 685 00:36:05,706 --> 00:36:06,934 [Brakes hiss] 686 00:36:06,974 --> 00:36:09,704 What about you? Any criminal records, addictions... 687 00:36:09,743 --> 00:36:11,711 or weird little secrets I should know about right now? 688 00:36:11,745 --> 00:36:14,077 No. 689 00:36:14,114 --> 00:36:17,743 Yeah. I didn't think so. 690 00:36:29,897 --> 00:36:31,922 ERICA.: You're pretty up-front about yourseIf. 691 00:36:31,966 --> 00:36:35,299 I have no reason not to be honest, I guess. 692 00:36:35,336 --> 00:36:38,305 Yeah. It always catches up to you if you're not. 693 00:36:38,339 --> 00:36:40,398 Yeah. That's the way it is with me. 694 00:36:40,441 --> 00:36:42,272 I mean, was with me. 695 00:36:42,309 --> 00:36:46,905 Back in my more youthful, wasted, younger days. 696 00:36:46,947 --> 00:36:48,847 Ahem. This is me. 697 00:36:51,452 --> 00:36:54,319 I've never had so much fun on a bus before. 698 00:36:55,789 --> 00:36:56,949 Me, too. 699 00:36:59,693 --> 00:37:01,627 [Laughs] 700 00:37:05,165 --> 00:37:07,156 [Sighs] 701 00:37:12,406 --> 00:37:14,533 Good night. 702 00:37:16,710 --> 00:37:18,940 Good night. 703 00:37:18,979 --> 00:37:22,107 I'll--Unh! Whoa! Aah! 704 00:37:22,149 --> 00:37:26,313 -Ow. -W-watch that. 705 00:37:26,353 --> 00:37:29,845 -I'll talk to you soon, OK? -OK. 706 00:37:29,890 --> 00:37:32,017 Vey soon. Like tomorrow. I'll give you a call. 707 00:37:32,059 --> 00:37:34,527 -Great. -Bye! 708 00:37:34,561 --> 00:37:36,461 Bye. 709 00:37:38,499 --> 00:37:44,096 -Like, a high five? -No. More like a ''Gimme five.'' 710 00:37:44,138 --> 00:37:46,265 He's got a girlfriend. 711 00:37:46,307 --> 00:37:48,901 Some guys are just different about this stuff, you know. 712 00:37:48,942 --> 00:37:53,276 Mm-hmm. Gay is different to some people. 713 00:37:53,314 --> 00:37:56,477 Well, I trust him. That means a lot. 714 00:37:56,517 --> 00:37:58,781 Is this anything like the last guy you trusted... 715 00:37:58,819 --> 00:38:01,913 who stole half your jewely and sold it on eBay? 716 00:38:01,955 --> 00:38:05,118 Apparently, speed is a vey expensive drug, Sam. 717 00:38:05,159 --> 00:38:07,024 Dude, you are so gone. 718 00:38:07,061 --> 00:38:09,222 No, I love hanging out with him. He's amazing. 719 00:38:09,263 --> 00:38:11,731 I'm treated like an equal, and we're connecting-- 720 00:38:11,765 --> 00:38:13,892 -It sucks, doesn't it? -Yeah, it does. 721 00:38:13,934 --> 00:38:15,799 It totally sucks. 722 00:38:15,836 --> 00:38:17,428 Why doesn't he just want to have sex with me? 723 00:38:17,905 --> 00:38:19,873 So, how did it go last night, champ? 724 00:38:19,907 --> 00:38:21,568 What? 725 00:38:21,608 --> 00:38:23,872 With your date. Did you hit that or what? 726 00:38:23,911 --> 00:38:25,242 What--what-- 727 00:38:26,547 --> 00:38:28,742 -[Coughs] -What are you talking about? 728 00:38:28,782 --> 00:38:31,774 [Coughs] Nothing. Whoo. That was weird. 729 00:38:31,819 --> 00:38:33,878 No more drugs pour moi. 730 00:38:36,123 --> 00:38:38,023 What the fuck is going on? 731 00:38:39,893 --> 00:38:41,053 [Wolf whistle] 732 00:38:41,095 --> 00:38:42,357 [Clank] 733 00:38:42,396 --> 00:38:44,387 MATT.: You guys put up a web page about me? 734 00:38:44,431 --> 00:38:47,025 CHRIS.: Web page? PIease. Be more insuIting, man. 735 00:38:47,067 --> 00:38:49,900 This is a complicated betting pool. 736 00:38:49,937 --> 00:38:51,097 [Train honking] 737 00:38:51,138 --> 00:38:52,264 You guys can't make this public. 738 00:38:52,306 --> 00:38:56,743 This is not something that I want eveyone to know about. 739 00:38:56,777 --> 00:38:58,768 It's a little too late, dude. 740 00:38:58,812 --> 00:39:03,579 Today's bets. Originally, the spread favored day 26... 741 00:39:03,617 --> 00:39:06,142 but with aII the dating action in MattIand these days... 742 00:39:06,186 --> 00:39:08,245 I'm gonna recommend day 23. 743 00:39:08,288 --> 00:39:09,482 [Ka-ching] 744 00:39:09,523 --> 00:39:10,888 CHRIS.: Someone just pIaced another bet. 745 00:39:10,924 --> 00:39:13,893 I had one come in all the way from Bangladesh. 746 00:39:13,927 --> 00:39:17,419 Little Haji just loves to roll the dice. 747 00:39:17,464 --> 00:39:19,329 You guys have advertisers? 748 00:39:19,366 --> 00:39:22,995 A friend of mine started up a business... 749 00:39:23,036 --> 00:39:24,901 and I gave him a good price. 750 00:39:24,938 --> 00:39:26,496 A porn site! 751 00:39:29,243 --> 00:39:30,801 Oh, shit! 752 00:39:39,420 --> 00:39:41,888 ++ You feII down ++ 753 00:39:41,922 --> 00:39:45,881 ++ Dropped it in water ++ 754 00:39:45,926 --> 00:39:48,360 Hey! You know where Erica Sutton is? 755 00:39:48,395 --> 00:39:50,386 -Yeah. She's... -Where? 756 00:39:50,431 --> 00:39:53,127 You're that guy. The abstinence guy. 757 00:39:53,167 --> 00:39:54,998 Hey, it's the abstinence guy! 758 00:39:55,035 --> 00:39:57,503 [Men laughing] 759 00:40:02,910 --> 00:40:04,901 What is this, some kind of a bet not to sleep with me? 760 00:40:04,945 --> 00:40:06,742 No, this isn't a bet. Let me explain. 761 00:40:06,780 --> 00:40:08,509 Don't explain. You don't have to. 762 00:40:08,549 --> 00:40:12,110 I just read about it over the fucking internet. 763 00:40:12,152 --> 00:40:15,246 Erica! Erica, I should have told you about this. 764 00:40:15,289 --> 00:40:17,519 I thought you'd think I was a freak. I'm sory. 765 00:40:17,558 --> 00:40:19,856 I can't believe the load of bullshit that you fed to me... 766 00:40:19,893 --> 00:40:21,019 about telling the damn truth. 767 00:40:21,061 --> 00:40:23,825 I--I did this for myself. 768 00:40:23,864 --> 00:40:26,628 I didn't think anybody else knew about it. I swear to God. 769 00:40:26,667 --> 00:40:29,397 Plus, if I told you, you'd think I was a sex addict. 770 00:40:29,436 --> 00:40:30,630 -Are you? -No! 771 00:40:30,671 --> 00:40:32,161 Then what is the point? 772 00:40:32,206 --> 00:40:34,231 What is the point of this whole thing? 773 00:40:34,274 --> 00:40:37,505 I just wanted to see what it would be like... 774 00:40:37,544 --> 00:40:39,637 without all the shit that sex brings to the picture. 775 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:41,944 Oh, so I'm like some science experiment? 776 00:40:41,982 --> 00:40:45,247 No! I--Look, I was going through a really rough time... 777 00:40:45,285 --> 00:40:46,980 and I just wanted to stop. 778 00:40:47,020 --> 00:40:49,011 I wanted to stop thinking about sex. 779 00:40:49,056 --> 00:40:50,614 Not that I was thinking about sex all the time... 780 00:40:50,657 --> 00:40:54,115 I just wanted to stop. 781 00:40:54,161 --> 00:40:57,961 And the thing is, it's working. It's really working. 782 00:40:57,998 --> 00:41:00,057 I'm glad it's working for one of us. 783 00:41:02,169 --> 00:41:03,898 [Matt sighs] 784 00:41:06,540 --> 00:41:10,306 You stupid, stupid, silly little person! 785 00:41:10,344 --> 00:41:12,608 Why did you have to go and tell eveyone? 786 00:41:12,646 --> 00:41:15,513 Look, if you're so ashamed, maybe you shouldn't be doing it. 787 00:41:15,549 --> 00:41:18,677 I'm not ashamed! I'm embarrassed! 788 00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:21,279 Then quit, Matt. Just quit. 789 00:41:21,321 --> 00:41:23,255 Nobody thinks you'll finish this thing. 790 00:41:23,290 --> 00:41:24,780 I'm not fucking quitting. 791 00:41:24,825 --> 00:41:29,853 Everything was going great until you had to... 792 00:41:29,897 --> 00:41:32,127 I stopped having sex... 793 00:41:32,165 --> 00:41:34,065 I'm totally falling for Erica... 794 00:41:34,101 --> 00:41:36,467 and I'm finally over Nicole. 795 00:41:36,503 --> 00:41:37,629 You really think you're over her? 796 00:41:37,671 --> 00:41:40,401 Fuck, yeah! Bitch. 797 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:44,968 Hmm. I ran into her and her fianc� last night. 798 00:41:50,951 --> 00:41:53,215 What was he like? 799 00:41:54,955 --> 00:41:57,685 He--he parties with a friend of mine. 800 00:41:57,724 --> 00:41:59,589 Apparently, the dude works late evey night. 801 00:41:59,626 --> 00:42:00,718 That's what I heard. 802 00:42:02,829 --> 00:42:03,955 So? 803 00:42:03,997 --> 00:42:07,330 He works late evey night-- a different girl evey night. 804 00:42:07,367 --> 00:42:09,164 Not that it should matter to you. 805 00:42:09,202 --> 00:42:11,295 No. Why would it matter to me? 806 00:42:11,338 --> 00:42:13,067 Yeah. 807 00:42:17,678 --> 00:42:20,169 JERRY.: My wife and I have been married for eight years. 808 00:42:20,213 --> 00:42:23,114 I love her vey much. 809 00:42:23,150 --> 00:42:27,587 I...consider myself a lucky person. 810 00:42:27,621 --> 00:42:30,021 That being said... 811 00:42:30,057 --> 00:42:31,922 this woman... 812 00:42:31,959 --> 00:42:36,225 does not put out at all. 813 00:42:36,263 --> 00:42:38,254 I mean, at all. 814 00:42:38,298 --> 00:42:40,698 I mean, we used to have sex everywhere. 815 00:42:40,734 --> 00:42:43,430 We used to have sex in this office. 816 00:42:43,470 --> 00:42:47,668 We had sex on this floor. We had sex on this desk. 817 00:42:47,708 --> 00:42:51,041 -On that chair. -OK. I get it, I get it. 818 00:42:51,078 --> 00:42:53,308 But now, I have to practically beg for it. 819 00:42:53,347 --> 00:42:57,181 I mean, it was kind of hot for the first eight months. 820 00:42:57,217 --> 00:42:59,276 The chasing after her... 821 00:42:59,319 --> 00:43:03,449 surprising her with my sexy new underwear. 822 00:43:03,490 --> 00:43:08,359 But now, I feeI a IittIe Iike a... 823 00:43:08,395 --> 00:43:10,727 like I'm a pervert. 824 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,560 I heard about the vow... 825 00:43:15,602 --> 00:43:17,570 and I think it's genius. 826 00:43:17,604 --> 00:43:19,595 Thanks. 827 00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:21,130 I mean, this is the perfect way for me... 828 00:43:21,174 --> 00:43:23,904 to regain the power in my relationship. 829 00:43:23,944 --> 00:43:25,411 See, I take the vow. 830 00:43:25,445 --> 00:43:29,176 I tell her I'm gonna do without for a few months. 831 00:43:29,216 --> 00:43:32,708 I bet in half the time she's going to be begging for it. 832 00:43:32,753 --> 00:43:34,015 Don't you think? What do you think? 833 00:43:34,054 --> 00:43:38,013 I think you don't know what you're getting yourself into. 834 00:43:42,996 --> 00:43:46,454 Hey, put that away. Books get you in trouble around here. 835 00:43:46,500 --> 00:43:49,230 -I can't work right now. -So go home. 836 00:43:49,269 --> 00:43:52,705 -I need the money. -So work. 837 00:43:52,739 --> 00:43:55,003 It all reminds me of Matt. 838 00:43:55,042 --> 00:43:58,910 Even ''donkey lovers''? 839 00:44:01,648 --> 00:44:04,242 Call him or leave. You're bugging me. 840 00:44:04,284 --> 00:44:05,979 [Sighs] 841 00:44:06,019 --> 00:44:09,386 ++ A strange condition ++ 842 00:44:09,423 --> 00:44:13,154 ++ A daiIy prison ++ 843 00:44:13,193 --> 00:44:15,684 ++ You've got me out of my head ++ 844 00:44:15,729 --> 00:44:20,462 ++ And I don't know what I came for ++ 845 00:44:22,836 --> 00:44:26,067 ++ Send me money, baby ++ 846 00:44:26,106 --> 00:44:29,974 ++ Do not Ieave out a wage ++ 847 00:44:30,010 --> 00:44:33,343 ++ You know you're the best thing ++ 848 00:44:33,380 --> 00:44:36,372 ++ In the corner of this pIace ++ 849 00:44:36,416 --> 00:44:40,216 ++ And I want you to know ++ 850 00:44:40,253 --> 00:44:42,949 -How's the chicken? -Good. 851 00:44:46,126 --> 00:44:50,563 ++ This strange condition ++ 852 00:44:50,597 --> 00:44:52,588 Why is this so weird? 853 00:44:52,632 --> 00:44:54,998 Ahem. 854 00:44:55,035 --> 00:44:57,128 If I told you, ''Don't think about the color red...'' 855 00:44:57,170 --> 00:44:58,330 what would you think about? 856 00:45:00,207 --> 00:45:01,333 Sex. 857 00:45:01,374 --> 00:45:02,966 [Laughs] 858 00:45:03,009 --> 00:45:05,000 OK, so we're both sitting here thinking about sex... 859 00:45:05,045 --> 00:45:06,569 because we can't think about sex... 860 00:45:06,613 --> 00:45:08,103 because we can't taIk about sex... 861 00:45:08,148 --> 00:45:11,140 and we certainly cannot have sex. 862 00:45:11,184 --> 00:45:14,676 It's like, so what are we doing here? 863 00:45:14,721 --> 00:45:17,383 You know, if I didn't have this vow thing... 864 00:45:17,424 --> 00:45:19,255 I'd kiss you right now. 865 00:45:23,864 --> 00:45:27,095 [Both sigh] 866 00:45:27,134 --> 00:45:29,932 -Thanks. -Thanks. 867 00:45:38,812 --> 00:45:40,905 [Coughing] 868 00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:42,346 You OK? 869 00:45:42,382 --> 00:45:44,612 [Coughs] I'm fine. 870 00:45:44,651 --> 00:45:47,176 -Are you sure? -I'll be right back. 871 00:45:47,220 --> 00:45:50,121 -Are you-- -Yeah. 872 00:45:57,531 --> 00:45:59,829 [Coughs] 873 00:45:59,866 --> 00:46:01,231 [Whoosh] 874 00:46:01,268 --> 00:46:02,701 Sir! Sir! 875 00:46:02,736 --> 00:46:03,964 [Yelling] 876 00:46:04,004 --> 00:46:06,905 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 877 00:46:06,940 --> 00:46:08,805 Aah! 878 00:46:08,842 --> 00:46:12,778 -[Man laughs] -Aah! Aah! 879 00:46:12,813 --> 00:46:17,011 Oh! Aah! I'm OK. 880 00:46:17,050 --> 00:46:19,075 [Laughing and clapping] 881 00:46:19,119 --> 00:46:21,644 Thank you. Thank you. I'm OK. Thank you. 882 00:46:21,688 --> 00:46:22,848 -Matt. -I'm OK. 883 00:46:25,058 --> 00:46:26,719 Hi. 884 00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,194 Nicole. How are you? 885 00:46:29,229 --> 00:46:32,858 Well, better than you at the moment. 886 00:46:32,899 --> 00:46:36,494 -[Laughs] -Yeah. Yeah. 887 00:46:38,104 --> 00:46:41,631 This is, um, this is... 888 00:46:41,675 --> 00:46:43,108 This is Erica. 889 00:46:43,143 --> 00:46:44,872 Nicole. 890 00:46:44,911 --> 00:46:48,870 David Brokaw. Hi. 891 00:46:48,915 --> 00:46:51,611 I'm Matt. I'm Matt. 892 00:46:51,651 --> 00:46:54,779 Oh, yes. Yes, of course. 893 00:46:54,821 --> 00:46:58,382 Matt, you work at one of those dot coms, don't you? 894 00:46:58,425 --> 00:47:00,450 Yes. Yes, I do. 895 00:47:00,493 --> 00:47:04,793 David's the youngest executive vice president... 896 00:47:04,831 --> 00:47:06,765 at Morgan Stanley. 897 00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:08,768 Yeah, well, I'm the youngest-- 898 00:47:08,802 --> 00:47:09,928 Yeah, hey, It's aII good, Matt. 899 00:47:09,970 --> 00:47:13,872 Listen, honey, you want to give it one more ty? 900 00:47:13,907 --> 00:47:15,067 It's good to see you. 901 00:47:15,108 --> 00:47:16,905 Yeah, you, too. 902 00:47:20,513 --> 00:47:21,673 Bye. 903 00:47:27,754 --> 00:47:30,086 She's the real reason you took that vow. 904 00:47:32,225 --> 00:47:34,750 [Sighs] No. She's just an ex. 905 00:47:36,596 --> 00:47:38,962 The vow is something completely separate from her. 906 00:47:38,999 --> 00:47:41,593 You're a really bad liar. 907 00:47:41,635 --> 00:47:43,432 I get that a lot. 908 00:47:45,639 --> 00:47:46,901 Look, I know I should've told you about her. 909 00:47:46,940 --> 00:47:48,100 Yeah, you should've. 910 00:47:48,141 --> 00:47:50,006 But I guess it's hard for you to get the truth out. 911 00:47:55,582 --> 00:47:56,913 Shit. 912 00:47:59,853 --> 00:48:02,253 Hey, how about I quit the vow? 913 00:48:02,289 --> 00:48:04,314 I mean, honestly, I don't care about the vow. 914 00:48:04,357 --> 00:48:06,018 Oh, sure, now St. Matt wants a piece. 915 00:48:06,059 --> 00:48:08,619 -No, that's not it at all. -You don't want me? 916 00:48:08,662 --> 00:48:11,426 No, of course I want you. It's just-- 917 00:48:11,464 --> 00:48:14,126 [Sighs] 918 00:48:14,167 --> 00:48:16,635 I care about the vow, and-- 919 00:48:16,670 --> 00:48:19,332 -You do? -Yeah, I do. 920 00:48:19,372 --> 00:48:22,102 And her? 921 00:48:24,377 --> 00:48:25,537 I don't know. 922 00:48:30,450 --> 00:48:32,247 [Sighs] 923 00:48:33,253 --> 00:48:36,017 I'll tell you what. You want me? 924 00:48:36,056 --> 00:48:37,546 Yeah. 925 00:48:37,590 --> 00:48:39,649 Then finish your stupid vow. 926 00:48:39,693 --> 00:48:40,819 And if you finish it... 927 00:48:40,860 --> 00:48:43,556 then maybe we can talk about being together. Maybe. 928 00:48:50,804 --> 00:48:52,965 [Engine starts] 929 00:48:58,044 --> 00:49:01,445 I've given up sex, because I just... 930 00:49:01,481 --> 00:49:04,314 I just want to connect with people on a deeper level. 931 00:49:04,351 --> 00:49:05,648 -Really? -Yeah. 932 00:49:05,685 --> 00:49:06,811 Is it working? 933 00:49:06,853 --> 00:49:09,287 Working? Of course it's working! 934 00:49:09,322 --> 00:49:13,486 It's like this incredible high. Can you not feel that? 935 00:49:13,526 --> 00:49:16,051 Just sitting here talking with you... 936 00:49:16,096 --> 00:49:18,724 I'm mind orgasmic right now. 937 00:49:18,765 --> 00:49:21,256 Mind orgasmic. 938 00:49:21,301 --> 00:49:23,826 Yeah. 939 00:49:23,870 --> 00:49:26,236 Hmm. 940 00:49:29,309 --> 00:49:31,300 [Ryan and woman moaning] 941 00:49:34,481 --> 00:49:35,971 RYAN.: Oh, GodI OhhI 942 00:49:36,016 --> 00:49:39,247 [Both moaning] 943 00:49:59,773 --> 00:50:00,933 We need to talk. 944 00:50:00,974 --> 00:50:02,236 I can't. I gotta go. 945 00:50:02,275 --> 00:50:05,073 I--I understand what you're doing, Matt. 946 00:50:05,111 --> 00:50:06,772 -You do? -Mm-hmm. 947 00:50:06,813 --> 00:50:10,146 Women have been doing this since, well, forever... 948 00:50:10,183 --> 00:50:12,242 so we know all about the power. 949 00:50:12,285 --> 00:50:14,583 See, us having the power, that's part of the system... 950 00:50:14,621 --> 00:50:17,283 and by you taking the power, you're fucking with the system. 951 00:50:17,323 --> 00:50:20,884 And I think you see why we can't let that happen. 952 00:50:20,927 --> 00:50:23,487 You bet on today. This is about money. 953 00:50:23,530 --> 00:50:26,522 Ah-ah. Signed and notarized commitment... 954 00:50:26,566 --> 00:50:28,591 to donate all proceeds to charity. 955 00:50:28,635 --> 00:50:32,833 So you want to have sex with me to regain ''the power''? 956 00:50:32,872 --> 00:50:36,171 We're willing to do whatever is necessay... 957 00:50:36,209 --> 00:50:37,733 to get the job done. 958 00:50:37,777 --> 00:50:40,507 Why do you keep saying ''we''? 959 00:50:43,883 --> 00:50:45,475 Oh, fuck. 960 00:50:45,518 --> 00:50:49,352 Now, we think that this offer is more than fair. 961 00:50:49,389 --> 00:50:52,324 Can I talk to you for a second? 962 00:50:52,358 --> 00:50:55,418 -Excuse me. What? -I don't think I can do this. 963 00:50:55,462 --> 00:50:57,430 Andie, we talked about this already, OK? 964 00:50:57,464 --> 00:50:59,022 I know, but just look at him. 965 00:50:59,065 --> 00:51:00,498 I mean, he used to be kind of cute... 966 00:51:00,533 --> 00:51:03,127 but now he's just twitchy. 967 00:51:03,169 --> 00:51:06,866 Shh. It'll be over in, like, two seconds, OK? 968 00:51:06,906 --> 00:51:09,374 Would you care to join us, hmm? 969 00:51:10,577 --> 00:51:12,977 Mmm. 970 00:51:13,012 --> 00:51:15,378 Oh, God. Not the tongues. 971 00:51:16,816 --> 00:51:19,080 Oh, my God. I gotta go. 972 00:51:25,425 --> 00:51:27,188 Yesterday was fine. 973 00:51:27,227 --> 00:51:30,162 I mean, physically speaking, I was fine. 974 00:51:30,196 --> 00:51:33,962 But today...I'm not fine. 975 00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,399 This morning at the coffee shop... 976 00:51:35,435 --> 00:51:37,995 they were sponsoring hot women wearing no bras day. 977 00:51:38,037 --> 00:51:39,402 [Slam] 978 00:51:41,841 --> 00:51:42,967 Whoo. 979 00:51:43,009 --> 00:51:44,408 Hot, hot women wearing no bras? 980 00:51:44,444 --> 00:51:46,378 I mean, like hot, hot women. 981 00:51:46,412 --> 00:51:49,142 There were 48 breasts at the Cafe Trieste this morning. 982 00:51:49,182 --> 00:51:51,514 [Music playing] 983 00:51:51,551 --> 00:51:53,178 [Woman moaning] 984 00:52:08,034 --> 00:52:10,502 ++ Take a Iook at me ++ 985 00:52:10,537 --> 00:52:13,734 I know this phase. It passes. 986 00:52:13,773 --> 00:52:15,832 But why does this have to happen now? 987 00:52:15,875 --> 00:52:19,242 I mean, yesterday Erica tells me I have to finish the vow... 988 00:52:19,279 --> 00:52:21,338 and today I'm slammed by sex. Why? 989 00:52:21,381 --> 00:52:22,905 -Look, you've gone 26 days? -Mm-hmm. 990 00:52:22,949 --> 00:52:25,315 -That's vey admirable. -Yeah, thanks. 991 00:52:25,351 --> 00:52:26,909 But you can't come to mom and dad's tonight. 992 00:52:26,953 --> 00:52:29,251 If I don't go, they'll kill me. 993 00:52:29,289 --> 00:52:30,551 You don't want them to see you like this. 994 00:52:30,590 --> 00:52:32,490 I don't want me to see me like this... 995 00:52:32,525 --> 00:52:35,221 but if there's one place I'm safe it's at home, right? 996 00:52:35,261 --> 00:52:37,729 -Mmm. -Right? 997 00:52:37,931 --> 00:52:40,991 ALL: From thy bounty, through Christ, our lord. Amen. 998 00:52:44,604 --> 00:52:47,505 So, dad, when your hip heals, will it be like normal? 999 00:52:47,540 --> 00:52:50,600 Yeah, pretty much. I can golf, ride a bike. 1000 00:52:50,643 --> 00:52:51,974 He just has to be careful. 1001 00:52:52,011 --> 00:52:54,605 It's amazing the things you can do now. 1002 00:52:54,647 --> 00:52:56,581 You know, I'm part of a pilot program... 1003 00:52:56,616 --> 00:52:58,083 that's tracking my range of motion. 1004 00:52:58,117 --> 00:52:59,243 Really? 1005 00:52:59,285 --> 00:53:01,719 Oh, they don't want to hear about that. 1006 00:53:01,754 --> 00:53:03,517 No, no. They want to see what effect... 1007 00:53:03,556 --> 00:53:05,080 the operation's had on my sex life. 1008 00:53:05,124 --> 00:53:06,853 [Coughs] Sory. 1009 00:53:06,893 --> 00:53:09,123 Do we have to talk about this at dinner? 1010 00:53:09,162 --> 00:53:11,528 FATHER.: Bev, we're aII aduIts here, aren't we? 1011 00:53:11,564 --> 00:53:13,691 Isn't sex a God-given naturaI part of Iife? 1012 00:53:13,733 --> 00:53:15,291 Don't start, dad. 1013 00:53:15,335 --> 00:53:18,793 Why not talk about it? I think a good sexual appetite... 1014 00:53:18,838 --> 00:53:22,740 is a real, normal, healthy part of being a man. 1015 00:53:22,775 --> 00:53:25,141 And a woman. 1016 00:53:25,178 --> 00:53:27,408 Who wants more beans? I do. 1017 00:53:27,447 --> 00:53:30,143 FATHER.: They're grown men. They're oId enough to know... 1018 00:53:30,183 --> 00:53:32,413 that their mother's machine is stiII running hot. 1019 00:53:33,519 --> 00:53:35,851 Walter, this isn't the moment. 1020 00:53:35,888 --> 00:53:38,516 Oh, no. Let me show you people. 1021 00:53:38,558 --> 00:53:39,991 [Brace squeaks] 1022 00:53:40,026 --> 00:53:42,017 See... 1023 00:53:43,162 --> 00:53:45,153 they sent me this sheet. 1024 00:53:47,634 --> 00:53:50,467 A whole bunch of different positions on it. 1025 00:53:50,503 --> 00:53:52,027 I just check off the ones I can do-- 1026 00:53:52,071 --> 00:53:53,197 Iike this one here. 1027 00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:56,299 I can do that, so I check the box. 1028 00:53:58,144 --> 00:54:01,375 Hey, here's an old standby. 1029 00:54:01,414 --> 00:54:04,542 But, see, I can't do that because of my hip... 1030 00:54:04,584 --> 00:54:06,950 so, you know, I don't check the box. 1031 00:54:06,986 --> 00:54:11,320 Bev, have we ever tried this before? 1032 00:54:11,357 --> 00:54:16,021 Walter, how could you forget the Maui Hilton? 1033 00:54:16,062 --> 00:54:20,624 In the shower. I nearly killed myself. 1034 00:54:20,667 --> 00:54:23,101 [Laughs] Yes. 1035 00:54:28,541 --> 00:54:30,509 [Rattling] 1036 00:54:30,543 --> 00:54:31,874 Damn it. 1037 00:54:31,911 --> 00:54:33,902 [Sighs] 1038 00:54:36,816 --> 00:54:38,010 RYAN: Surprise inspection. 1039 00:54:38,051 --> 00:54:39,382 [Sighs] 1040 00:54:39,419 --> 00:54:41,546 [Buzz] 1041 00:54:41,587 --> 00:54:43,214 [Humming] 1042 00:54:43,256 --> 00:54:45,019 [Ryan whistling] 1043 00:54:45,058 --> 00:54:46,525 What the hell is that thing? 1044 00:54:46,559 --> 00:54:48,493 [Whistling] 1045 00:54:48,528 --> 00:54:50,758 It's a special light that allows me to see... 1046 00:54:50,797 --> 00:54:53,789 if any fluids have been liberated. 1047 00:54:53,833 --> 00:54:56,825 [Whistling] 1048 00:55:15,588 --> 00:55:17,215 Keep up the good work. 1049 00:55:20,727 --> 00:55:23,628 [Muttering] 1050 00:55:23,663 --> 00:55:25,631 -[Chuckles] -[Door opens] 1051 00:55:34,273 --> 00:55:35,604 MATT.:Ahem. 1052 00:55:43,816 --> 00:55:44,976 Hmm. 1053 00:55:47,153 --> 00:55:48,643 Mmm. 1054 00:55:50,990 --> 00:55:53,857 JERRY : Ohh. These are good. 1055 00:55:53,893 --> 00:55:55,554 [Sighs] 1056 00:55:58,398 --> 00:55:59,558 Is-- 1057 00:56:00,566 --> 00:56:03,399 Is he twisting her nipple? 1058 00:56:05,738 --> 00:56:09,230 Jeez, that's an oversight. I'll fix that. Ahem. 1059 00:56:09,275 --> 00:56:12,608 I know what you mean. I've been surfing for porn all week. 1060 00:56:12,645 --> 00:56:14,909 -What am I doing wrong? -Huh? 1061 00:56:14,947 --> 00:56:17,245 I mean, not only is my wife not begging for it... 1062 00:56:17,283 --> 00:56:19,376 she's not... 1063 00:56:19,419 --> 00:56:21,080 I've never seen her so happy. 1064 00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:23,953 And today. Did you see it's the warmest day of the year? 1065 00:56:23,990 --> 00:56:25,855 Yeah, it's spring. 1066 00:56:25,892 --> 00:56:27,382 It's spring, Goddamn it... 1067 00:56:27,427 --> 00:56:29,361 and they're--look at 'em. They're all wearing... 1068 00:56:29,395 --> 00:56:32,228 their IittIe summer dresses. Just... 1069 00:56:32,265 --> 00:56:35,462 [Sighs] Hmm? 1070 00:56:35,501 --> 00:56:38,470 What am I supposed to do now, vow boy, huh? 1071 00:56:39,972 --> 00:56:41,462 Fix this. 1072 00:56:41,507 --> 00:56:43,498 [Pills jingling] 1073 00:56:48,247 --> 00:56:49,407 Damn it! 1074 00:56:51,517 --> 00:56:52,848 [Hums] 1075 00:56:56,956 --> 00:56:58,116 Come on. 1076 00:56:59,258 --> 00:57:02,625 -What's up, dog? -Hey, what's up, dog? 1077 00:57:02,662 --> 00:57:06,325 -What are you doing? -Just, uh, freshenin' up. 1078 00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:09,627 [Exhales] 1079 00:57:09,669 --> 00:57:12,365 [Sighs] 1080 00:57:12,405 --> 00:57:15,306 I'm tired of waiting for things to happen. 1081 00:57:15,341 --> 00:57:16,831 And my money's on today. 1082 00:57:16,876 --> 00:57:18,741 Yeah, that's great. So what the fuck is that? 1083 00:57:18,778 --> 00:57:22,111 This is what the American Medical Association... 1084 00:57:22,148 --> 00:57:24,981 refers to as...viagra. 1085 00:57:25,017 --> 00:57:27,781 Well, I'm not gonna let you do that, bro. 1086 00:57:27,820 --> 00:57:30,846 Well, you can be bought...bro. 1087 00:57:32,692 --> 00:57:33,852 -Yeah. -Yeah. 1088 00:57:40,099 --> 00:57:42,260 Ahem. 1089 00:57:42,301 --> 00:57:44,269 Ohh. 1090 00:57:44,303 --> 00:57:46,999 Who's that? What's that? 1091 00:57:47,039 --> 00:57:51,066 Oh, God, that's that new girI in tech support. 1092 00:57:51,110 --> 00:57:53,078 Did you know that reguIar ejacuIation... 1093 00:57:53,112 --> 00:57:56,081 is a preventative against prostate cancer? 1094 00:57:56,115 --> 00:57:57,377 [Grunts] 1095 00:57:57,416 --> 00:58:01,284 DUNCAN.: So, is it that you hate your penis? 1096 00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:04,414 Because, I mean, I personally feel like that's-- 1097 00:58:04,457 --> 00:58:06,322 God, that's one of the best relationships I have. 1098 00:58:06,359 --> 00:58:09,328 Why do you think they caII it the IittIe head? 1099 00:58:09,362 --> 00:58:10,954 I'II teII you why. 1100 00:58:10,997 --> 00:58:12,988 [Chuckles] Because he has ideas. 1101 00:58:19,906 --> 00:58:21,066 I-- 1102 00:58:24,143 --> 00:58:26,236 -Nice going, dumb ass. -What? 1103 00:58:26,279 --> 00:58:27,541 Hey, Jery. 1104 00:58:27,580 --> 00:58:28,979 [Gasping] 1105 00:58:29,015 --> 00:58:31,984 Chow mein. New girl in tech. Vey hot. 1106 00:58:32,018 --> 00:58:35,044 Ah...ah...ah. Mmm. 1107 00:58:36,289 --> 00:58:39,190 Ahh. This tastes funny. 1108 00:58:39,225 --> 00:58:42,353 Not bad, just, you know, funny. 1109 00:58:44,096 --> 00:58:47,156 Ohh. Mmm. 1110 00:58:53,606 --> 00:58:54,766 Ahem. 1111 00:58:58,377 --> 00:58:59,537 Hey, Jery. 1112 00:59:03,316 --> 00:59:04,510 [Jery gasps] 1113 00:59:06,385 --> 00:59:08,376 Oh. 1114 00:59:08,421 --> 00:59:09,581 Ohh. 1115 00:59:12,191 --> 00:59:14,887 I--Excuse me. I have to get... 1116 00:59:16,462 --> 00:59:19,090 -Uh... -Do you need this? 1117 00:59:19,131 --> 00:59:21,599 -No. -[Exhales] 1118 00:59:24,937 --> 00:59:26,905 I--I'm so thirsty. 1119 00:59:26,939 --> 00:59:28,770 -Are you OK? -Mm-hmm. 1120 00:59:30,409 --> 00:59:31,740 [Door opens] 1121 00:59:38,918 --> 00:59:40,385 Captain Blueballs. 1122 00:59:40,419 --> 00:59:42,910 Been looking for you since lunch. 1123 00:59:42,955 --> 00:59:45,924 I was just, uh--ahem-- maintaining these... 1124 00:59:45,958 --> 00:59:48,392 Yeah. Matt, look at yourself. 1125 00:59:48,427 --> 00:59:49,792 Your life is shit. 1126 00:59:50,963 --> 00:59:54,262 You're hiding out In a fuckin'storage room. 1127 00:59:54,300 --> 00:59:56,359 OK, here's how it's gonna go. 1128 01:00:02,842 --> 01:00:04,810 You've already won. 1129 01:00:04,844 --> 01:00:08,075 You've already proven eveyone wrong. 1130 01:00:08,114 --> 01:00:09,945 Now it's serious. 1131 01:00:09,982 --> 01:00:11,347 The pot's up to eighteen thousand. 1132 01:00:11,384 --> 01:00:13,147 That's a lot of money, isn't it? 1133 01:00:13,185 --> 01:00:14,812 -[Panting] -It's your vow. 1134 01:00:14,854 --> 01:00:16,685 It should be your money. 1135 01:00:18,391 --> 01:00:19,983 So I'm gonna split it with you. 1136 01:00:20,026 --> 01:00:22,620 That's right. 1137 01:00:22,662 --> 01:00:25,495 And all you have to do is take the dive. 1138 01:00:26,999 --> 01:00:29,763 Think about it-- nine thousand dollars. 1139 01:00:29,802 --> 01:00:31,326 Nine large. 1140 01:00:32,605 --> 01:00:34,436 Just take this. 1141 01:00:34,473 --> 01:00:35,963 [Paper rustles] 1142 01:00:36,008 --> 01:00:39,466 Uh-oh. You like her. Now we're talkin'. 1143 01:00:39,512 --> 01:00:42,072 -She's something, isn't she? -[Sighs] 1144 01:00:42,114 --> 01:00:46,016 Take her into the bathroom and get on with your Iife. 1145 01:00:54,860 --> 01:00:56,555 [Bangs on door] 1146 01:01:00,399 --> 01:01:02,697 Yes. Yes. 1147 01:01:06,639 --> 01:01:07,765 ++ Ah ++ 1148 01:01:07,807 --> 01:01:09,798 No, no, no. No, no. He can't do this. 1149 01:01:09,842 --> 01:01:12,106 I want to talk to him. 1150 01:01:12,144 --> 01:01:13,702 Matt, don't do it! 1151 01:01:13,746 --> 01:01:14,872 [Ryan and Duncan arguing] 1152 01:01:14,914 --> 01:01:16,506 DUNCAN.: We need you, MattI 1153 01:01:16,549 --> 01:01:19,950 RYAN.: Matt, don't do itI 1154 01:01:19,985 --> 01:01:21,384 Think about the IittIe guy, MattI 1155 01:01:21,420 --> 01:01:22,887 Don't think about thatI Think about meI 1156 01:01:22,922 --> 01:01:25,322 -Huh? Think about me! -Matt! 1157 01:01:25,357 --> 01:01:27,587 No, no, no, no. 1158 01:01:27,626 --> 01:01:30,060 Get out of here! Get out of here! 1159 01:01:30,096 --> 01:01:32,690 Matt, this is important! I'm going to go in there. 1160 01:01:32,732 --> 01:01:34,427 -I will throw down. -Come on! 1161 01:01:34,467 --> 01:01:35,900 Yeah. Fire in the hole. 1162 01:01:35,935 --> 01:01:37,095 I'm going to give you until the count of three. 1163 01:01:37,136 --> 01:01:39,502 Let's rock and roll. Aah! 1164 01:01:39,538 --> 01:01:41,062 You understand why I had to do that? 1165 01:01:42,241 --> 01:01:44,232 [Foot tapping] 1166 01:01:50,449 --> 01:01:52,542 [Chattering] 1167 01:01:52,585 --> 01:01:54,780 [Hyperventilating] 1168 01:01:56,322 --> 01:01:58,256 [Gagging] 1169 01:02:05,598 --> 01:02:11,662 Aah. Ahh... 1170 01:02:11,704 --> 01:02:14,138 -Jery? -[Gasps] 1171 01:02:14,173 --> 01:02:19,236 Uh, Jery's not here right now. May I take a message? 1172 01:02:22,181 --> 01:02:25,947 [Whispering] What about the vow, Jery? 1173 01:02:25,985 --> 01:02:31,480 I tried. I--I didn't... I tried. I reaIIy... 1174 01:02:31,524 --> 01:02:34,254 [Flushes toilet] 1175 01:02:34,293 --> 01:02:36,090 [Chattering] 1176 01:02:38,297 --> 01:02:41,061 It just--it just hit me all at once. 1177 01:02:41,100 --> 01:02:43,125 I mean, I've jerked off three times since lunch. 1178 01:02:43,169 --> 01:02:45,000 I still have this fucking hard-on. 1179 01:02:45,037 --> 01:02:46,834 [Flushes toilet] 1180 01:02:48,174 --> 01:02:50,074 Way to go, Mr. Anderson. 1181 01:02:50,109 --> 01:02:52,873 Two more, and you break the company record. 1182 01:02:59,018 --> 01:03:00,417 -Oh. -WOMAN: Aw. 1183 01:03:00,452 --> 01:03:02,352 MAN.: Boo. 1184 01:03:02,388 --> 01:03:04,083 [Crowd boos] 1185 01:03:04,123 --> 01:03:05,852 What? 1186 01:03:05,891 --> 01:03:07,882 [Laughs] 1187 01:03:17,536 --> 01:03:19,128 RYAN.:AII right. This is ridicuIous. 1188 01:03:19,171 --> 01:03:21,662 -[Sighs] -I am going in. 1189 01:03:26,912 --> 01:03:28,846 Ahh. Uhh. 1190 01:03:33,185 --> 01:03:34,379 Where is Matt? 1191 01:03:34,420 --> 01:03:36,650 Um... 1192 01:03:38,557 --> 01:03:40,047 Heh. 1193 01:03:40,092 --> 01:03:43,152 Well, I don't know. 1194 01:03:49,802 --> 01:03:51,793 [Crowd whispers] 1195 01:03:51,837 --> 01:03:52,963 He didn't do it. 1196 01:03:53,005 --> 01:03:55,337 -Yeah! -[Cheering] 1197 01:03:55,541 --> 01:03:57,532 [Thunder] 1198 01:04:00,346 --> 01:04:02,541 [Rings doorbell] 1199 01:04:11,190 --> 01:04:12,350 Hi. 1200 01:04:12,391 --> 01:04:15,019 I know I shouldn't be here... 1201 01:04:15,060 --> 01:04:17,119 but I've been thinking about you a lot... 1202 01:04:17,162 --> 01:04:18,891 and I had to see you. 1203 01:04:22,034 --> 01:04:25,060 What are those, like some kind of a bribe? 1204 01:04:25,104 --> 01:04:30,565 More like...gentle persuasion. 1205 01:04:35,114 --> 01:04:37,674 ERICA.: Is this going to get worse before it gets better? 1206 01:04:37,716 --> 01:04:39,479 Probably, but I got to get this out... 1207 01:04:39,518 --> 01:04:41,110 before I lose my train of thought. 1208 01:04:41,153 --> 01:04:43,621 See... 1209 01:04:43,656 --> 01:04:47,854 Nicole had this... 1210 01:04:47,893 --> 01:04:51,090 special status. 1211 01:04:51,130 --> 01:04:53,325 More like a special power. 1212 01:04:53,365 --> 01:04:55,731 And I couldn't match it... 1213 01:04:55,768 --> 01:04:57,759 and I couldn't find anybody to replace it. 1214 01:04:57,803 --> 01:05:00,772 -I think I get it. -You do? 1215 01:05:02,107 --> 01:05:06,271 It's vey easy to confuse a physical attraction... 1216 01:05:06,312 --> 01:05:08,041 with a real connection. 1217 01:05:08,080 --> 01:05:10,241 Yeah. Sometimes you just can't tell. 1218 01:05:10,282 --> 01:05:12,113 Well, you can tell. 1219 01:05:12,151 --> 01:05:14,244 You can tell by the kiss. 1220 01:05:14,286 --> 01:05:17,619 You know, the other stuff-- the sex, ''Is he hot?'' 1221 01:05:17,656 --> 01:05:20,250 It doesn't matter. 1222 01:05:20,292 --> 01:05:23,022 All that matters is the kiss. 1223 01:05:25,030 --> 01:05:26,964 How do you know about me? 1224 01:05:26,999 --> 01:05:28,694 I don't. 1225 01:05:38,610 --> 01:05:41,704 I don't even know If you can feeI that. 1226 01:05:43,315 --> 01:05:45,215 I can feel that. 1227 01:05:47,152 --> 01:05:48,585 Is this against the rules? 1228 01:05:52,191 --> 01:05:53,988 I'll let you be the judge of that. 1229 01:05:55,761 --> 01:05:59,458 -I'm thinking now. -I'm thinking now, too. 1230 01:05:59,498 --> 01:06:01,728 Come here. 1231 01:06:12,211 --> 01:06:14,202 [Sighs] 1232 01:06:24,656 --> 01:06:26,647 [Woman singing] 1233 01:06:40,105 --> 01:06:46,066 ++ I wanna waIk beside you ++ 1234 01:06:46,111 --> 01:06:53,745 ++ Nowhere that I have ever been ++ 1235 01:06:53,786 --> 01:06:59,418 ++ And aII the dreams inside you ++ 1236 01:06:59,458 --> 01:07:05,556 ++ I am the one you have not seen ++ 1237 01:07:05,597 --> 01:07:12,435 ++ I feeI immune ++ 1238 01:07:12,471 --> 01:07:15,929 ++ By my own mind ++ 1239 01:07:15,974 --> 01:07:19,501 ++ I can't refuse ++ 1240 01:07:19,545 --> 01:07:26,314 ++ An offer to make Iove ++ 1241 01:07:27,953 --> 01:07:29,181 ++ To you ++ 1242 01:07:33,392 --> 01:07:38,352 ++ How come your words affect me ++ 1243 01:07:38,397 --> 01:07:39,523 Ooh. 1244 01:07:39,565 --> 01:07:42,500 ++ I have not wanted ++ 1245 01:07:42,534 --> 01:07:47,437 ++ To be aIIowed ++ 1246 01:07:47,473 --> 01:07:50,965 ++ And yet I made you set free ++ 1247 01:07:51,009 --> 01:07:53,102 [Erica moaning] 1248 01:07:53,145 --> 01:08:00,313 ++ With aII the meaning was the sound ++ 1249 01:08:00,352 --> 01:08:05,585 ++ In your refrain ++ 1250 01:08:05,624 --> 01:08:09,060 ++ I hear the chords ++ 1251 01:08:09,094 --> 01:08:11,460 ++ Of Iove in vain ++ 1252 01:08:11,497 --> 01:08:13,226 Ohh. 1253 01:08:13,265 --> 01:08:15,631 ++ How can I heIp ++ 1254 01:08:15,667 --> 01:08:20,832 ++ CaIIing your name? ++ 1255 01:08:28,480 --> 01:08:32,007 I wasn't supposed to do that, was I? 1256 01:08:32,050 --> 01:08:34,848 Huh? Huh? 1257 01:08:36,688 --> 01:08:38,679 Mmm. 1258 01:08:44,096 --> 01:08:46,030 Good night, sweetie. 1259 01:08:46,064 --> 01:08:49,727 Oh, no. Don't go to sleep yet, because... 1260 01:08:49,768 --> 01:08:51,030 we should talk about something. 1261 01:08:51,069 --> 01:08:54,004 -Mm-hmm. -We could talk about anything. 1262 01:08:54,039 --> 01:08:55,666 We could talk about... 1263 01:08:55,707 --> 01:08:57,834 we could talk about stickers. 1264 01:08:57,876 --> 01:09:00,208 Do you like stickers? 1265 01:09:01,947 --> 01:09:03,073 Erica? 1266 01:09:03,115 --> 01:09:05,049 [Woman singing] 1267 01:09:34,146 --> 01:09:36,011 Matt, what are you doing? 1268 01:09:36,048 --> 01:09:38,243 The Willow and Smart people are here. 1269 01:09:38,283 --> 01:09:40,217 We're late for the presentation. Come on. 1270 01:09:49,795 --> 01:09:51,490 -Oh, my... -What the... 1271 01:09:51,530 --> 01:09:53,998 [Employees laugh] 1272 01:09:56,868 --> 01:09:59,200 Hi. Sory I'm late. 1273 01:09:59,238 --> 01:10:02,503 -Miss Willow. -Ohh. 1274 01:10:02,541 --> 01:10:04,168 Uhh. 1275 01:10:04,209 --> 01:10:06,939 Come on over here for a second. Um... 1276 01:10:06,979 --> 01:10:09,675 Want some camomile tea? 1277 01:10:09,715 --> 01:10:13,446 I think little Mattie is tying to say hello. 1278 01:10:13,485 --> 01:10:14,611 Oh, Jesus. 1279 01:10:14,653 --> 01:10:16,985 You might want to ty some tighty-whiteys, jeans. 1280 01:10:17,022 --> 01:10:18,717 -You, go home. Now. -OK. 1281 01:10:18,757 --> 01:10:20,281 [Mutters] 1282 01:10:22,394 --> 01:10:25,022 So, shall we get it on? 1283 01:10:25,063 --> 01:10:26,428 Start? 1284 01:10:28,300 --> 01:10:30,291 From a flower? 1285 01:10:34,873 --> 01:10:36,864 Like, a vibrating flower? 1286 01:10:36,908 --> 01:10:39,877 No. No, just a flower. 1287 01:10:39,911 --> 01:10:43,369 And he didn't touch you once? 1288 01:10:43,415 --> 01:10:44,939 He didn't even ty to touch you? 1289 01:10:44,983 --> 01:10:46,450 No, and I so wanted him to... 1290 01:10:46,485 --> 01:10:48,385 but what we were doing was so perfect. 1291 01:10:48,420 --> 01:10:50,786 Oh, yeah, perfect-- 1292 01:10:50,822 --> 01:10:52,949 the immaculate orgasm. 1293 01:10:52,991 --> 01:10:56,825 -[Laughs] Yes. -You are unbelievable. 1294 01:10:56,862 --> 01:11:00,730 ++ Yeah, yeah, yeah ++ 1295 01:11:00,766 --> 01:11:05,726 ++ We have a space to share ++ 1296 01:11:05,771 --> 01:11:08,763 [Doorbell buzzes] 1297 01:11:08,807 --> 01:11:10,138 Erica. 1298 01:11:10,175 --> 01:11:12,075 ++ What I'm gonna do with today ++ 1299 01:11:12,110 --> 01:11:13,441 Coming. 1300 01:11:13,478 --> 01:11:14,968 Hey, baby. 1301 01:11:15,013 --> 01:11:18,414 Oh, that's sweet. I really needed to hear that. 1302 01:11:21,653 --> 01:11:25,453 Oh, God, I must look awful. 1303 01:11:25,490 --> 01:11:26,650 Yeah. 1304 01:11:27,893 --> 01:11:31,124 [Sniffles] Well, you don't look so great. 1305 01:11:31,163 --> 01:11:35,327 It's a long stoy. What are you doing here, Nicole? 1306 01:11:35,367 --> 01:11:38,268 I just... 1307 01:11:38,303 --> 01:11:40,931 needed to talk to someone. 1308 01:11:40,972 --> 01:11:42,769 Where's David? 1309 01:11:42,808 --> 01:11:45,368 I don't know. At the office, probably. 1310 01:11:45,410 --> 01:11:47,537 Working late? 1311 01:11:50,749 --> 01:11:52,740 [Sighs] 1312 01:11:54,353 --> 01:11:57,948 We broke it off. It's over. 1313 01:11:57,989 --> 01:12:01,117 Or he broke it off, I don't know. 1314 01:12:01,159 --> 01:12:03,889 I made the commitment... 1315 01:12:03,929 --> 01:12:06,489 but I guess he wasn't too committed to it. 1316 01:12:06,531 --> 01:12:08,965 I'm sory. 1317 01:12:12,604 --> 01:12:14,196 How's... 1318 01:12:16,174 --> 01:12:17,368 Emily? 1319 01:12:17,409 --> 01:12:19,843 Her name's Erica. 1320 01:12:19,878 --> 01:12:21,311 Good. 1321 01:12:21,346 --> 01:12:26,511 You never think about me anymore? 1322 01:12:26,551 --> 01:12:29,145 Not even just a little? 1323 01:12:31,123 --> 01:12:34,024 Let me put it this way. 1324 01:12:34,059 --> 01:12:36,050 I have thought about you... 1325 01:12:36,094 --> 01:12:39,894 about us--a lot. 1326 01:12:39,931 --> 01:12:42,229 But tonight, when you came in... 1327 01:12:42,267 --> 01:12:46,203 was the first time I didn't get all fucked up about it. 1328 01:12:47,873 --> 01:12:50,706 I think we could get you fucked up about it again. 1329 01:12:50,742 --> 01:12:54,542 Hey. Maybe you should go, hmm? 1330 01:12:54,579 --> 01:12:58,037 Mmm, I think your little friend here wants me to stay. 1331 01:12:58,083 --> 01:12:59,380 Yeah, well, my little friend's not in charge anymore... 1332 01:12:59,418 --> 01:13:00,544 so maybe you should go. 1333 01:13:00,585 --> 01:13:03,053 You're saying no to me? 1334 01:13:03,088 --> 01:13:05,113 You always do this to me... 1335 01:13:05,157 --> 01:13:06,852 and I'm the idiot because I keep coming back... 1336 01:13:06,892 --> 01:13:08,621 but I'm not coming back anymore. 1337 01:13:08,660 --> 01:13:11,629 You take everything from me. 1338 01:13:11,663 --> 01:13:13,130 That is so not true. 1339 01:13:13,165 --> 01:13:15,224 Oh, yeah? Name me one thing that you ever gave me. 1340 01:13:18,236 --> 01:13:21,137 I--I gave you The Bridges of Madison County... 1341 01:13:21,173 --> 01:13:22,299 you ungrateful asshole. 1342 01:13:22,340 --> 01:13:23,898 I never told you this. I didn't want to hurt your feelings. 1343 01:13:23,942 --> 01:13:26,934 That was the biggest piece of trash I ever tried to read. 1344 01:13:26,978 --> 01:13:28,309 You pig. 1345 01:13:31,450 --> 01:13:34,647 Matt, I am so--so mad that I have... 1346 01:13:34,686 --> 01:13:36,278 I have to tell you. 1347 01:13:36,321 --> 01:13:38,755 Watching you standing up for yourself like this... 1348 01:13:38,790 --> 01:13:41,782 has never made me so... 1349 01:13:41,827 --> 01:13:42,987 so... 1350 01:13:44,463 --> 01:13:46,363 [Breathing heavily] 1351 01:13:46,398 --> 01:13:47,660 hot. 1352 01:13:47,699 --> 01:13:50,133 I like this. 1353 01:13:50,168 --> 01:13:51,829 Where have you been? 1354 01:13:54,439 --> 01:13:56,532 You can slam that door in my face if you want... 1355 01:13:56,575 --> 01:13:59,567 but I'll just be on the other side, even hotter. 1356 01:13:59,611 --> 01:14:03,479 Holy hell. 1357 01:14:03,515 --> 01:14:08,350 Slam that door in my dirty, bad, bad face. 1358 01:14:08,386 --> 01:14:11,412 Oh, God, Matt, slam it! 1359 01:14:25,170 --> 01:14:27,138 Aah! 1360 01:14:30,509 --> 01:14:32,170 Will you just think about it, OK? 1361 01:14:32,210 --> 01:14:34,235 The dude was in the john with a dirty mag. 1362 01:14:34,279 --> 01:14:36,213 If that's me, I'm painting the ceiling. 1363 01:14:36,248 --> 01:14:38,239 Who does this Matt guy think he is, anyways? 1364 01:14:38,283 --> 01:14:41,218 He's jerking us around. How do we know this is reaI? 1365 01:14:41,253 --> 01:14:44,347 If you just go to Big Window, look at the dude's face. 1366 01:14:44,389 --> 01:14:46,857 You would know. It's for real. 1367 01:14:46,892 --> 01:14:48,883 Merj, how many times have I been wrong? 1368 01:14:48,927 --> 01:14:51,395 Pfft. Stupid monkey-ass moron. 1369 01:14:51,429 --> 01:14:53,454 Why don't you quit wasting my time over here? 1370 01:14:54,699 --> 01:14:56,291 Hey, bagel guy. 1371 01:14:59,638 --> 01:15:02,471 You know my name? 1372 01:15:02,507 --> 01:15:05,476 She says to me, ''You look like Lionel Richie.'' 1373 01:15:05,510 --> 01:15:07,341 Well, that's great, isn't it? 1374 01:15:07,379 --> 01:15:09,108 No, that's not great. That's not good. 1375 01:15:09,147 --> 01:15:10,307 Are you Chris? 1376 01:15:10,348 --> 01:15:13,146 -No, but I can be. -Chris would be me. 1377 01:15:13,184 --> 01:15:15,414 Excuse me. 1378 01:15:15,453 --> 01:15:18,422 I need to place a bet. 1379 01:15:19,691 --> 01:15:20,749 Can you deal with this? 1380 01:15:24,563 --> 01:15:28,260 -[Scoffs] Yeah, sure. -Good. 1381 01:15:28,300 --> 01:15:30,097 The thing is, it's a sucker bet. 1382 01:15:30,135 --> 01:15:31,796 It's going to be over in twenty four hours. 1383 01:15:31,836 --> 01:15:35,203 Ahem. 32 hours, 12 minutes, and 26 seconds. 1384 01:15:35,240 --> 01:15:36,400 Thanks. 1385 01:15:37,976 --> 01:15:39,944 Plus, Matt has this whole, uh... 1386 01:15:39,978 --> 01:15:43,744 you know, midnight madness thing mapped out and... 1387 01:15:43,782 --> 01:15:46,683 His friend is coming over at the stroke of midnight. 1388 01:15:46,718 --> 01:15:49,016 You get it? The stroke of midnight? 1389 01:15:50,956 --> 01:15:52,787 Thanks, buddy. 1390 01:15:54,426 --> 01:15:55,859 So, you'll take it? 1391 01:15:55,894 --> 01:15:58,590 Sure. 1392 01:15:58,630 --> 01:16:00,393 Thank you. 1393 01:16:00,432 --> 01:16:03,424 -[Ringing] -Aw... 1394 01:16:03,468 --> 01:16:05,459 -Uhh. -[Stops ringing] 1395 01:16:07,672 --> 01:16:10,072 [Yawns] 1396 01:16:10,108 --> 01:16:12,941 ++ I cIose my eyes when I get too sad ++ 1397 01:16:12,978 --> 01:16:15,242 ++ I think thoughts that I know are bad ++ 1398 01:16:15,280 --> 01:16:18,044 ++ CIose my eyes, and I count to ten ++ 1399 01:16:18,083 --> 01:16:20,415 ++ Hope it's over when I open them ++ 1400 01:16:20,452 --> 01:16:22,852 ++ I want the things that I had before ++ 1401 01:16:22,887 --> 01:16:25,754 ++ Like a Star Wars poster on the bedroom door ++ 1402 01:16:25,790 --> 01:16:27,348 ++ I wish I couId count to ten ++ 1403 01:16:27,392 --> 01:16:28,825 Ohh! Ohh! 1404 01:16:28,860 --> 01:16:30,350 ++ Make everything be wonderfuI again ++ 1405 01:16:30,395 --> 01:16:33,296 Ohh! Ohh! Aah! 1406 01:16:33,331 --> 01:16:35,891 ++ We'II sit around whiIe they get some air ++ 1407 01:16:35,934 --> 01:16:38,562 ++ I hear them scream, I hear them fight ++ 1408 01:16:38,603 --> 01:16:41,470 ++ They say bad words that make me want to cry ++ 1409 01:16:41,506 --> 01:16:42,837 ++ I cIose my eyes when I go to bed ++ 1410 01:16:42,874 --> 01:16:46,105 She's filled with heavenly sweetness. 1411 01:16:46,144 --> 01:16:48,237 ++ I'II feeI better when I hear them say ++ 1412 01:16:48,279 --> 01:16:49,746 I somehow don't think Mr. Butterworth... 1413 01:16:49,781 --> 01:16:51,840 would appreciate that vey much. 1414 01:16:51,883 --> 01:16:54,784 ++ Why must this mean everything ++ 1415 01:16:54,819 --> 01:16:59,483 ++ When you're IittIe, and the worId's so big ++ 1416 01:16:59,524 --> 01:17:02,357 ++ I just don't understand how ++ 1417 01:17:02,394 --> 01:17:06,125 ++ You can smiIe with aII those tears in your eyes ++ 1418 01:17:06,164 --> 01:17:10,498 ++ TeII me everything is wonderfuI now ++ 1419 01:17:10,535 --> 01:17:12,799 ++ No ++ 1420 01:17:12,837 --> 01:17:14,498 ++ Na na na na na na na ++ 1421 01:17:14,539 --> 01:17:18,339 ++ No, I don't wanna hear you teII me ++ 1422 01:17:18,376 --> 01:17:20,469 Excuse me, is this taken? 1423 01:17:20,512 --> 01:17:22,309 No. 1424 01:17:22,347 --> 01:17:25,783 ++ That I wiII understand some day ++ 1425 01:17:25,817 --> 01:17:27,614 ++ No, no, no ++ 1426 01:17:27,652 --> 01:17:30,280 ++ No, no, no, no ++ 1427 01:17:30,321 --> 01:17:33,484 ++ Someday, If I hate everything ++ 1428 01:17:33,525 --> 01:17:35,186 ++ PIease don't teII me ++ 1429 01:17:35,226 --> 01:17:38,059 ++ Everything Is wonderfuI now ++ 1430 01:17:38,096 --> 01:17:40,792 ++ Na na na na na na na ++ 1431 01:17:40,832 --> 01:17:41,958 ++ Na na na na na na na ++ 1432 01:17:42,000 --> 01:17:43,797 ++ No ++ 1433 01:17:43,835 --> 01:17:45,826 Aah! 1434 01:17:45,870 --> 01:17:49,328 ++ Everything Is wonderfuI now ++ 1435 01:17:50,408 --> 01:17:52,535 -You got to help me. -You got to knock. 1436 01:17:56,781 --> 01:17:58,009 I'm seeing things. 1437 01:17:58,049 --> 01:18:00,210 I swear to God, everywhere I Iook... 1438 01:18:00,251 --> 01:18:02,412 I'm seeing tits and ass. 1439 01:18:02,454 --> 01:18:06,515 When I came in here, I swear to God, I saw you kissing a nun. 1440 01:18:13,531 --> 01:18:16,261 Oh, my God! You were kissing a nun! 1441 01:18:16,301 --> 01:18:19,134 I'm slipping, Matt. I've already slipped. 1442 01:18:19,170 --> 01:18:22,003 -It's your stories. -This is my fault? 1443 01:18:22,040 --> 01:18:23,769 [Sighs] No, it's mine. 1444 01:18:23,808 --> 01:18:25,435 It's been bubbling under the surface... 1445 01:18:25,477 --> 01:18:27,911 for a Iong time now. 1446 01:18:27,946 --> 01:18:29,607 I'm leaving the seminay for a little while. 1447 01:18:29,647 --> 01:18:31,444 What? 1448 01:18:31,483 --> 01:18:34,316 It's just a sabbatical. If I come back... 1449 01:18:34,352 --> 01:18:36,877 When I come back, it'll be for good. 1450 01:18:36,921 --> 01:18:39,116 So, you can't help me? 1451 01:18:39,157 --> 01:18:42,126 You're on your own, little man. 1452 01:18:46,197 --> 01:18:49,132 [Sighs] 1453 01:18:49,167 --> 01:18:50,600 [Woman breathing heavily] 1454 01:18:54,672 --> 01:18:56,663 [Electricity buzzing] 1455 01:18:58,576 --> 01:18:59,770 [Woman moans] 1456 01:19:01,913 --> 01:19:03,073 WOMAN.:Ahh. 1457 01:19:06,050 --> 01:19:07,449 [Door unlocks] 1458 01:19:07,485 --> 01:19:10,420 RYAN.: WeII, weIcome to the cathedraI of iII repute. 1459 01:19:10,455 --> 01:19:11,581 WOMAN.: Merci, monsieur. 1460 01:19:11,623 --> 01:19:13,989 Um, make yourseIf comfortabIe. 1461 01:19:14,025 --> 01:19:15,720 Bien sur. 1462 01:19:16,961 --> 01:19:19,327 I almost fucked an outlet today. 1463 01:19:21,232 --> 01:19:23,029 You, uh... 1464 01:19:23,067 --> 01:19:25,160 Since when do you smoke, Matt? 1465 01:19:25,203 --> 01:19:27,501 -Since today. -Jesus. 1466 01:19:27,539 --> 01:19:29,530 Is this him? 1467 01:19:29,574 --> 01:19:31,371 Yep. That's our boy. 1468 01:19:31,409 --> 01:19:33,843 You've started a whole new movement. 1469 01:19:33,878 --> 01:19:38,144 Megatonchism-- sex without orgasms ever. 1470 01:19:38,183 --> 01:19:39,741 [Matt coughs] 1471 01:19:39,784 --> 01:19:42,582 You like to party? 1472 01:19:42,620 --> 01:19:45,020 Can I borrow your handcuffs? 1473 01:19:45,056 --> 01:19:46,990 [Locks handcuffs] 1474 01:19:47,025 --> 01:19:49,619 If my hand is free, I'm bound to do anything with it. 1475 01:19:49,661 --> 01:19:50,787 Anything. 1476 01:19:50,829 --> 01:19:52,626 How much did you drink, Matt? 1477 01:19:52,664 --> 01:19:54,962 God's spirit made Jesus go to the desert. 1478 01:19:54,999 --> 01:19:57,797 He was there for forty days while Satan tested him. 1479 01:19:57,836 --> 01:20:00,532 He was living with the wild animals... 1480 01:20:00,572 --> 01:20:03,564 but angels took care of him. 1481 01:20:03,608 --> 01:20:06,338 Mark 1:12. 1482 01:20:06,377 --> 01:20:08,641 [Sighs] 1483 01:20:08,680 --> 01:20:11,114 [Locks handcuffs] 1484 01:20:13,484 --> 01:20:15,213 I look like Jesus on the cross. 1485 01:20:15,253 --> 01:20:18,416 -Yes, you do. -Yep. 1486 01:20:18,456 --> 01:20:19,923 You do. 1487 01:20:19,958 --> 01:20:22,188 So, what about your late night visitor? 1488 01:20:22,227 --> 01:20:25,321 Leave the front door open a little bit... 1489 01:20:25,363 --> 01:20:29,459 and put that key right there. 1490 01:20:29,500 --> 01:20:31,832 [Puts down key] 1491 01:20:31,870 --> 01:20:33,064 When she comes, I'll tell her... 1492 01:20:33,104 --> 01:20:34,799 I was accosted by home invaders... 1493 01:20:34,839 --> 01:20:36,670 and they tied me up. 1494 01:20:36,708 --> 01:20:39,472 OK, champ. Anastasia and I are going to leave now... 1495 01:20:39,510 --> 01:20:43,037 so...you should sleep. 1496 01:20:43,081 --> 01:20:44,548 Think about the angels. 1497 01:20:44,582 --> 01:20:46,812 Peace be with you. 1498 01:20:48,353 --> 01:20:52,687 He is a little weird, but it is Easter. 1499 01:21:00,265 --> 01:21:01,960 I feel like it's my first time. 1500 01:21:02,000 --> 01:21:03,991 It is, isn't it? 1501 01:21:04,035 --> 01:21:07,471 You are going to be great. 1502 01:21:07,505 --> 01:21:08,904 It's going to be great. 1503 01:21:23,988 --> 01:21:26,889 [Animal howling] 1504 01:21:26,925 --> 01:21:28,415 MATT : Ha! 1505 01:21:31,462 --> 01:21:35,523 Haah! 1506 01:21:41,272 --> 01:21:43,263 [Quacking] 1507 01:21:56,120 --> 01:21:57,485 WhoaI 1508 01:21:57,522 --> 01:22:01,049 AahI 1509 01:22:14,639 --> 01:22:16,436 MATT.: UhhI 1510 01:22:19,544 --> 01:22:20,841 NICOLE.: Show me you can do it. 1511 01:22:23,881 --> 01:22:26,315 You can do it, Matt. 1512 01:22:26,351 --> 01:22:28,649 Show me you can do it. 1513 01:22:28,686 --> 01:22:30,244 Ohh. 1514 01:22:33,057 --> 01:22:35,491 You can do it, Matt. You can do it. 1515 01:22:35,526 --> 01:22:37,494 You can-- 1516 01:22:37,528 --> 01:22:39,018 Ohh! 1517 01:22:41,366 --> 01:22:43,231 Oh, there we go. 1518 01:22:43,267 --> 01:22:47,169 -Doesn't that feel better? -Ohh. Uhh. 1519 01:22:47,205 --> 01:22:49,332 Relax, baby. 1520 01:22:49,374 --> 01:22:51,274 It's over. 1521 01:22:56,047 --> 01:22:57,844 [Breathing heavily] 1522 01:22:58,916 --> 01:23:02,113 What? Why? Why would you do this? 1523 01:23:02,153 --> 01:23:04,883 Well, this all started because of me. 1524 01:23:04,922 --> 01:23:07,857 It only seems natural that I should end it, huh? 1525 01:23:07,892 --> 01:23:09,883 [Strains] 1526 01:23:11,696 --> 01:23:15,325 Oh, here's your key. 1527 01:23:15,366 --> 01:23:17,493 I kept meaning to return it. 1528 01:23:17,535 --> 01:23:19,469 It turns out the front door was open. 1529 01:23:21,839 --> 01:23:22,999 Are you expecting someone? 1530 01:23:23,041 --> 01:23:26,135 Oh, fuck. 1531 01:23:38,523 --> 01:23:40,184 [Alarm clock ringing] 1532 01:23:53,371 --> 01:23:54,770 -Uhh! -[Ringing stops] 1533 01:24:02,713 --> 01:24:05,614 Oh, my... 1534 01:24:05,650 --> 01:24:08,847 I was asleep. I thought she was you. 1535 01:24:08,886 --> 01:24:11,753 Ohh. Was it worth it? 1536 01:24:14,258 --> 01:24:16,351 Oh, come on, Erica, please. 1537 01:24:16,394 --> 01:24:17,952 Erica! 1538 01:24:19,597 --> 01:24:20,723 Erica! 1539 01:24:20,765 --> 01:24:22,562 Oh, shit. 1540 01:24:35,713 --> 01:24:37,704 [Sniffles] 1541 01:24:45,223 --> 01:24:47,885 ++ I see the fever ++ 1542 01:24:47,925 --> 01:24:53,420 ++ And I Iove her for that ++ 1543 01:24:53,464 --> 01:24:55,625 I'll say it was me. I'll say I set the whole thing up. 1544 01:24:55,666 --> 01:24:58,430 I'll say that I handcuffed you to the bed--which is true-- 1545 01:24:58,469 --> 01:25:01,233 that I sent her over here. 1546 01:25:01,272 --> 01:25:02,899 She was here to see me. 1547 01:25:04,675 --> 01:25:06,370 No. 1548 01:25:06,410 --> 01:25:10,779 No? I'll tell her something less idiotic, obviously, but... 1549 01:25:12,150 --> 01:25:14,846 No. 1550 01:25:14,886 --> 01:25:17,514 No more lies. 1551 01:25:17,555 --> 01:25:19,113 This doesn't seem like one of those... 1552 01:25:19,157 --> 01:25:22,126 ''truth will set you free'' situations. 1553 01:25:23,861 --> 01:25:25,522 No, it doesn't. 1554 01:25:33,738 --> 01:25:36,263 Hey. 1555 01:25:36,307 --> 01:25:38,707 Guess who dropped by. 1556 01:25:40,111 --> 01:25:42,477 He left hours ago. 1557 01:25:42,513 --> 01:25:44,811 He brought you this. 1558 01:25:44,849 --> 01:25:47,647 Personally, I prefer the telegram... 1559 01:25:47,685 --> 01:25:49,676 but I did get to talk to him for a little bit. 1560 01:25:49,720 --> 01:25:51,688 So? I don't want to hear about it. 1561 01:25:51,722 --> 01:25:54,691 -OK. -But now you're on his side? 1562 01:25:54,725 --> 01:25:57,660 Yeah, Erica. He melted my heart. 1563 01:25:57,695 --> 01:26:01,222 He's a real mess about you. It was a little pathetic. 1564 01:26:01,265 --> 01:26:03,460 That's not good enough. 1565 01:26:03,501 --> 01:26:04,832 Don't be stupid, Erica. 1566 01:26:04,869 --> 01:26:07,394 He's crazy about you. What else do you want? 1567 01:26:07,438 --> 01:26:14,344 ++ She wouIdn't Iet me, and I Iove her for that ++ 1568 01:26:15,846 --> 01:26:19,646 ++ Ooh, oh ++ 1569 01:26:21,686 --> 01:26:24,484 ++ And though ++ 1570 01:26:24,522 --> 01:26:27,650 ++ You steaI her ++ 1571 01:26:27,692 --> 01:26:33,028 ++ You Iove her and deceive her ++ 1572 01:26:33,064 --> 01:26:38,263 ++ She did nothing ++ 1573 01:26:38,302 --> 01:26:41,271 ++ So wrong ++ 1574 01:26:41,305 --> 01:26:47,505 ++ So wrong ++ 1575 01:27:05,463 --> 01:27:07,294 ++ Oh ++ 1576 01:27:07,331 --> 01:27:09,526 Helps with static cling. 1577 01:27:09,567 --> 01:27:16,131 ++ And I Iove her for that ++ 1578 01:27:16,173 --> 01:27:18,164 [Sighs] 1579 01:27:20,211 --> 01:27:22,042 Where's your laundy? 1580 01:27:24,582 --> 01:27:26,948 I've been here evey day this week. 1581 01:27:26,984 --> 01:27:29,111 All my laundy's clean. 1582 01:27:29,153 --> 01:27:31,144 [Both laugh] 1583 01:27:34,158 --> 01:27:36,820 I know I screwed up with you-- 1584 01:27:36,861 --> 01:27:39,352 over and over and over. 1585 01:27:39,397 --> 01:27:42,332 It just took me a long time to realize what I was doing. 1586 01:27:42,366 --> 01:27:43,993 Yes, it did. 1587 01:27:46,070 --> 01:27:51,599 I was tying to take a part of me and make it go away. 1588 01:27:51,642 --> 01:27:57,911 And I closed my world off, and I put myself in a little box. 1589 01:27:57,948 --> 01:28:00,416 And for a while, everything seemed clear. 1590 01:28:03,888 --> 01:28:05,685 But then you came along... 1591 01:28:05,723 --> 01:28:09,659 and that didn't help anything. 1592 01:28:11,128 --> 01:28:13,528 Remember when you said that you could never tell... 1593 01:28:13,564 --> 01:28:14,861 about someone until you kiss them? 1594 01:28:18,035 --> 01:28:20,367 Well... 1595 01:28:20,404 --> 01:28:24,636 I screwed up. I--I should've just done this. 1596 01:28:35,853 --> 01:28:38,481 Are you done talking now? 1597 01:29:00,244 --> 01:29:02,303 Thirty eight hours exactly. 1598 01:29:02,346 --> 01:29:04,644 -Son of a bitch. -Damn it. 1599 01:29:04,682 --> 01:29:08,015 The pot's up to 140. Anybody else want in on hour 39? 1600 01:29:08,052 --> 01:29:09,849 DUNCAN.: Hey, hey. 1601 01:29:09,887 --> 01:29:13,323 How do we even know that they're stiII even in there? 1602 01:29:13,357 --> 01:29:17,157 They could've put the CD player on repeat or shuffle. 1603 01:29:17,194 --> 01:29:19,958 -That's a good point. -It is a good point... 1604 01:29:19,997 --> 01:29:21,521 because they could've snuck out the back window... 1605 01:29:21,565 --> 01:29:23,556 and we're still sitting around here like a bunch of chimps. 1606 01:29:23,601 --> 01:29:25,967 -Chimps. -You know what? Look at me. 1607 01:29:26,003 --> 01:29:28,767 I've been here the whole time. Believe it. 1608 01:29:28,806 --> 01:29:30,706 [Music stops] 1609 01:29:39,517 --> 01:29:40,643 [Music playing] 1610 01:29:40,684 --> 01:29:43,710 Oh, put me in for a tenner. 1611 01:29:43,754 --> 01:29:48,555 He'll keep going. Two dollars, please. 1612 01:29:48,592 --> 01:29:49,718 [Door slams] 1613 01:29:49,760 --> 01:29:52,251 -[Chattering stops] -Uhh. 1614 01:30:02,973 --> 01:30:04,770 -Hey, Matt. -What's up, Matt? 1615 01:30:04,809 --> 01:30:05,935 Hey, Matt. 1616 01:30:05,976 --> 01:30:08,968 All right, you guys. Come on, get out. Get out of my house. 1617 01:30:09,013 --> 01:30:10,480 [All chattering] 1618 01:30:10,514 --> 01:30:12,277 No, no. You know what? 1619 01:30:12,316 --> 01:30:13,749 Come on, come on. Get out of my house. 1620 01:30:13,784 --> 01:30:15,149 I'll just take this. 1621 01:30:15,186 --> 01:30:16,949 Bye. 1622 01:30:16,987 --> 01:30:18,545 -Later, stud. -See you later. 1623 01:30:18,589 --> 01:30:21,251 Thanks for the fish, Matt. 1624 01:30:21,292 --> 01:30:23,385 Looking good. How long are you going to be in there? 1625 01:30:23,427 --> 01:30:24,826 -Let's go. -Hey, I'm going. 1626 01:30:24,862 --> 01:30:26,762 Chris, I'm going to call you tomorrow, all right? 1627 01:30:26,797 --> 01:30:27,957 -What are you doing? -You, too. 1628 01:30:27,998 --> 01:30:29,966 -I don't have my keys on me. -Good. 1629 01:30:30,000 --> 01:30:31,433 Wait, this is my house, dude. 1630 01:30:31,469 --> 01:30:34,370 Not for the next twenty four hours, it's not. 1631 01:30:34,405 --> 01:30:37,431 And you all should be ashamed of yourselves. 1632 01:30:37,475 --> 01:30:39,340 You're kidding. Don't have sex on my bed. 1633 01:30:39,376 --> 01:30:42,607 He can't last in there another 24 hours. He'll die. 1634 01:30:42,646 --> 01:30:44,773 How much you want to bet? 1635 01:30:44,815 --> 01:30:48,615 How much do I want to bet that he'll actually die? 1636 01:30:48,652 --> 01:30:51,314 -I'll put ten bucks on it. -Another ten. 1637 01:30:51,355 --> 01:30:52,686 I don't have a life. 1638 01:30:52,923 --> 01:30:55,483 ++ A IittIe sexuaI frustration ++ 1639 01:30:55,525 --> 01:30:58,722 ++ Combined with Iack of motivation ++ 1640 01:30:58,762 --> 01:31:01,663 ++ And a Ioss of concentration ++ 1641 01:31:01,698 --> 01:31:05,464 ++ I got a strange disease ++ 1642 01:31:05,502 --> 01:31:07,265 ++ Two weeks ago ++ 1643 01:31:07,304 --> 01:31:10,637 ++ You said you'd never Ieave me ++ 1644 01:31:10,674 --> 01:31:13,074 ++ And here I am aIone ++ 1645 01:31:13,110 --> 01:31:16,739 ++ And in this worId of reckIess happenstance ++ 1646 01:31:16,780 --> 01:31:19,806 ++ Why do good things have to go away ++ 1647 01:31:19,850 --> 01:31:22,512 ++ And Ieave you with nothing ++ 1648 01:31:22,552 --> 01:31:24,713 ++ Yeah, you Ieft me with nothing ++ 1649 01:31:24,755 --> 01:31:27,883 ++ Ah ah ah ah ++ 1650 01:31:27,925 --> 01:31:29,916 ++ Ah ++ 1651 01:31:29,960 --> 01:31:32,656 ++ A strange disease ++ 1652 01:31:32,696 --> 01:31:35,688 ++ Wee-ooh, wee-ooh ++ 1653 01:31:35,732 --> 01:31:38,895 ++ Wee-ooh, wee-ooh ++ 1654 01:31:38,936 --> 01:31:41,666 ++ Wee-ooh, wee-ooh ++ 1655 01:31:41,705 --> 01:31:44,799 ++ OveremotionaI sensations ++ 1656 01:31:44,841 --> 01:31:47,867 ++ Sit by your teIevision stations ++ 1657 01:31:47,911 --> 01:31:51,108 ++ And unaffected by Iocations ++ 1658 01:31:51,148 --> 01:31:54,276 ++ I got a strange disease ++ 1659 01:31:54,318 --> 01:31:57,287 ++ I can't seem to get to sIeep ++ 1660 01:31:57,321 --> 01:32:00,449 ++ I don't want nothing to eat ++ 1661 01:32:00,490 --> 01:32:03,288 ++ WaIking up and down your street ++ 1662 01:32:03,327 --> 01:32:06,922 ++ I got a strange disease ++ 1663 01:32:06,964 --> 01:32:09,262 ++ Why did you have ++ 1664 01:32:09,299 --> 01:32:12,325 ++ To put so much pressure on me? ++ 1665 01:32:12,369 --> 01:32:14,894 ++ You pushed my heart away ++ 1666 01:32:14,938 --> 01:32:18,430 ++ I didn't mean to scare you, IittIe one ++ 1667 01:32:18,475 --> 01:32:21,501 ++ Is there nothing I can say? ++ 1668 01:32:21,545 --> 01:32:24,275 ++ Don't Ieave me with nothing ++ 1669 01:32:24,314 --> 01:32:26,441 ++ Yeah, you Ieft me with nothing ++ 1670 01:32:26,483 --> 01:32:29,577 ++ Ah ah ah ah ++ 1671 01:32:29,619 --> 01:32:31,553 ++ Ah ++ 1672 01:32:31,588 --> 01:32:34,284 ++ And a strange disease ++ 1673 01:32:34,324 --> 01:32:37,384 ++ Wee-ooh, wee-ooh ++ 1674 01:32:37,427 --> 01:32:40,521 ++ Wee-ooh, wee-ooh ++ 1675 01:32:40,564 --> 01:32:43,226 ++ Wee-ooh, wee-ooh ++ 1676 01:32:56,146 --> 01:32:59,081 ++ Now I'm standing in the rain ++ 1677 01:32:59,116 --> 01:33:02,142 ++ Water's soaking through my brain ++ 1678 01:33:02,185 --> 01:33:05,177 ++ Every dropIet speaks your name ++ 1679 01:33:05,222 --> 01:33:08,487 ++ And it's driving me insane ++ 1680 01:33:08,525 --> 01:33:11,790 ++ I don't want to go to work, my Iibido's gone berserk ++ 1681 01:33:11,828 --> 01:33:13,193 ++ I don't want nothing to eat ++ 1682 01:33:13,230 --> 01:33:14,663 ++ WaIkin'up and down your street ++ 1683 01:33:14,698 --> 01:33:16,859 ++ But onIy two weeks ago ++ 1684 01:33:16,900 --> 01:33:20,165 ++ You said you'd never Ieave me ++ 1685 01:33:20,203 --> 01:33:22,763 ++ Now here I am aIone ++ 1686 01:33:22,806 --> 01:33:26,298 ++ And in this worId of reckIess happenstance ++ 1687 01:33:26,343 --> 01:33:29,437 ++ Why do good things have to go away ++ 1688 01:33:29,479 --> 01:33:32,004 ++ And Ieave you with nothing ++ 1689 01:33:32,049 --> 01:33:34,347 ++ Yeah, you Ieft me with nothing ++ 1690 01:33:34,384 --> 01:33:37,410 ++ Ah ah ah ah ++ 1691 01:33:37,454 --> 01:33:39,513 ++ Ah ++ 1692 01:33:39,556 --> 01:33:42,320 ++ A strange disease ++ 1693 01:33:42,359 --> 01:33:45,351 ++ Wee-ooh, wee-ooh ++ 1694 01:33:45,395 --> 01:33:48,489 ++ Wee-ooh, wee-ooh ++ 1695 01:33:48,532 --> 01:33:51,524 ++ Wee-ooh, wee-ooh ++ 1696 01:33:51,568 --> 01:33:54,696 ++ Wee-ooh, wee-ooh ++ 1697 01:33:54,738 --> 01:33:57,730 ++ Wee-ooh, wee-ooh ++ 1698 01:33:57,774 --> 01:34:00,937 ++ Wee-ooh, wee-ooh ++ 1699 01:34:00,977 --> 01:34:02,911 ++ Wee-ooh, wee-ooh ++