1
00:00:01,300 --> 00:00:03,400
One, two. Two, two.

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00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:11,200
Ripped with SubRip 1.17 and Verified by CdinT
cdint@hotmail.com

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00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:12,800
I deliver perfection...
and don't brag about it! :D

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{y:i}# So please you, sir, we much regret

5
00:00:15,500 --> 00:00:17,700
{y:i}# If we have failed in etiquette

6
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,500
{y:i}# Towards a man of rank so high

7
00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:21,600
{y:i}# We shall know better by and by

8
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,000
{y:i}# But youth, of course, must have its fling

9
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,200
{y:i}# So pardon us, so pardon us

10
00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:28,000
{y:i}# And don't in girlhood's happy spring

11
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,300
{y:i}# Be hard on us, be hard on us

12
00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,000
{y:i}# If we're inclined to dance and sing

13
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,500
{y:i}# Tralalalala

14
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:37,600
{y:i}# But youth, of course, must have its fling

15
00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:38,800
{y:i}# So pardon us

16
00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:41,700
{y:i}# And don't in girlhood's happy spring

17
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:43,000
{y:i}# Be hard on us

18
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,900
{y:i}# But youth, of course, must have its fling

19
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:47,000
{y:i}# So pardon us

20
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,200
{y:i}# Tralalala la la la

21
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,400
{y:i}# Tralalala la la

22
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,600
{y:i}# Tralalala la la

23
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:55,900
{y:i}# Tra lalalalalala

24
00:00:56,200 --> 00:01:01,100
{y:i}# Tralalalalalala la!

25
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:06,200
- Sir Arthur, what are you doing?
- Going to the theatre.

26
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,800
- No, it is not possible.
- I have no choice!

27
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,500
- You must get back...
- Louis!

28
00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:19,200
- Hot coffee, very strong, please.
{y:i}- D'accord.

29
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:35,100
- Louis! "Schnell", please!
- Don't move.

30
00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:39,400
{y:i}Clothilde, encore du caf�. Vite.

31
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,800
{y:i}Sir Arthur, la tasse, s'il vous pla�t.

32
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:47,100
{y:i}- Bonne chance, Sir Arthur.
{y:i}- Merci.

33
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,200
{y:i}Nicht so schnell.

34
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,300
{y:i}Louis, ich muss das allein tun.

35
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:55,200
I'll be fine. Now go and fetch the cab.

36
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:09,000
- Canton.
- Good evening, sir.

37
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,400
Arthur!

38
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,600
- Arthur, is this wise?
- No, it's foolish.

39
00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:16,100
- Do you intend to go on?
- Yes, Helen. I've never missed one yet.

40
00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:17,800
I'll let everybody know.

41
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,000
- Here, take a drink.
- Thank you.

42
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,900
Oh, that's better, Frank.

43
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,800
- Your gloves, sir.
- Very good, Louis.

44
00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:29,600
This "is" a surprise, sir.

45
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,200
# As up we string the faithless king

46
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:16,100
# In the old familiar way

47
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:17,800
# We'll shout ha ha! Hip hip hurrah!

48
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:21,100
# Hip hip hip hip hurrah!

49
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,400
# As we make an end of her false papa!

50
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,800
# Hurrah! Hurrah!

51
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,800
- Permission, Mr Cook.
- Permission, Shrimp.

52
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:30,800
Come!

53
00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:34,200
Five minutes, Mr Grossmith.

54
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,600
# If you give me your attention
I will tell you what I am

55
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:56,400
# I'm a genuine philanthropist

56
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,100
# All other kinds are sham

57
00:04:58,300 --> 00:04:59,800
# Each little fault of temper

58
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,600
# And each social defect

59
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:03,200
# In my erring fellow creatures

60
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:05,000
# I endeavour to correct

61
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,700
# To all their little weaknesses

62
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,500
# I open people's eyes

63
00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:11,600
# And little plans to snub
the self-sufficient I devise

64
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,500
# I love my fellow creatures

65
00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:15,500
# I do all the good I can

66
00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:18,500
# Yet everybody says
I'm such a disagreeable man

67
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:22,200
# And I can't think why

68
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,800
# I'm sure I'm no ascetic

69
00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:29,700
# I'm as pleasant as can be

70
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:33,100
# You'll always find me ready
with a crushing repartee

71
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:36,600
# I've an irritating chuckle,
I've a celebrated sneer

72
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:38,000
# I've an entertaining snigger

73
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,000
# I've a fascinating leer

74
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:43,300
# To everybody's prejudice
I know a thing or two

75
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:46,600
# I can tell a woman's age
in half a minute - and I do

76
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,700
# But although I try to make myself

77
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,700
# As pleasant as I can

78
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,800
# Yet everybody says
I am a disagreeable man

79
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,800
# And I can't think why

80
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,700
# He can't think why

81
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,400
# I can't think

82
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:05,100
# Why

83
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,900
{y:i}- Monsieur.
{y:i}- Bonsoir.

84
00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:15,700
{y:i}- Vous avez l� un succ�s certain.
{y:i}- Merci.

85
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:20,100
What do you expect me to do?
Kiss the carpenters?

86
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,700
Arthur!

87
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:29,600
Let's get him up.

88
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,000
Come on, sir.

89
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,000
Arthur, take some brandy.

90
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:36,100
What happened? What happened?!

91
00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:39,800
Is Doctor Lynch in the house?

92
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,000
Listen to this! Today's "Times".

93
00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:46,900
"'Princess Ida' will
probably run for a year...

94
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,800
...keeping the Savoy treasury
agreeably replete all the while."

95
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,600
"All London will flock to hear it."

96
00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:56,200
"So will our provincial,
American and continental visitors."

97
00:06:56,500 --> 00:07:00,000
"Copies of its words and music
will be sold by tens of thousands."

98
00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:04,300
"Everybody connected with it will have
a good time for at least twelve months."

99
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,100
"So mote it be."

100
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,700
- How splendid, Willie!
- Sugared words, Lucy.

101
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,600
Listen.

102
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:16,300
"The opera is above the level of all
other entertainments before the public."

103
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:19,700
"Still, I cannot pronounce it
to be in any way...

104
00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:22,100
...an improvement upon its predecessors."

105
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:25,000
"To me, words and music alike reveal...

106
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:29,600
...symptoms of fatigue in their
respective composer and author."

107
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:33,200
"Arthur Sullivan cannot write
other than in pleasing manner...

108
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:37,400
...but several numbers in 'Princess Ida'
lack the freshness and spontaneity...

109
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,200
...of 'The Pirates of Penzance',
'Patience, lolanthe'...

110
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,600
...or 'The Sorcerer', his best operatic work."

111
00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:44,400
Oh! Is it?

112
00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,200
"Or 'HMS Pinafore', the most popular."

113
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:52,200
"WS Gilbert abundantly proves
he is still the legitimate monarch...

114
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,900
...of the realm of Topsy-Turvydom."

115
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,400
Thank you very much(!)

116
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:02,700
"But his incongruities are more
elaborately worked up than of yore...

117
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,400
...and therefore less funny."

118
00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:09,500
"Moreover, the story is a dull one!"

119
00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:11,600
- Burn it, Pidgeon!
- Sir.

120
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,600
Willie...!

121
00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:17,800
Your kidneys are getting cold!

122
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:23,500
The show's doing splendidly.
Full houses and a healthy advance.

123
00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:25,500
- Capital.
- Three tours on the road.

124
00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:27,900
{y:i}Pirates, Patience and lolanthe.

125
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,200
- And four in rehearsal.
{y:i}- Merveilleux.

126
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,300
New York can't wait for "Ida".

127
00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:34,800
Ah, New York. How splendid.

128
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,800
- Helen has us booked up to year's end.
- Tireless as ever.

129
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,600
All part of my day's work.

130
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,900
- Tea, Miss Lenoir?
- No, thank you, Louis.

131
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,400
Very well.

132
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:47,200
I hope your confinement
hasn't made you restless.

133
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,400
How have you been passing the time?

134
00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:53,300
I've made some resolutions, Helen.

135
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:58,600
- A little late in the new year, perhaps.
- Better late than never.

136
00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:02,800
May we know what they are, Arthur?

137
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,500
Why not?

138
00:09:05,700 --> 00:09:07,600
One.

139
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,700
To travel to the Continent
as soon as my health permits.

140
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:12,700
- Very wise.
- I think so.

141
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,500
Two.

142
00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:17,700
To look for a country house
where I may repair each summer...

143
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,900
...without having to cross the Channel.

144
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,500
- Three. To take more exercise.
- Excellent, Arthur. About time, too.

145
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,900
A leaf out of your book, D'Oyly.
I must walk more.

146
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,000
And is there a number four?

147
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,600
Yes.

148
00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:37,000
To write no more operas for the Savoy.

149
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:43,400
- And what is number five?
- To fly to the moon in his bed socks!

150
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:46,800
No, I'm serious.
I have to write a grand opera.

151
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,600
People expect it of me.
I must not disappoint them.

152
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:53,100
I cannot waste any more time
on these trivial souffl�s.

153
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,800
Do you know I haven't written
a symphony for over 20 years?

154
00:09:57,100 --> 00:10:00,600
Not an unprofitable 20 years,
if I may say so.

155
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,200
Arthur.

156
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:05,500
If you would learn to organise
your time more efficiently...

157
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:07,600
...you could do everything you wished.

158
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:11,700
My time is finite, Helen. I must fill it
with that which is important to me.

159
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,600
Is not the Savoy Theatre
important to you?

160
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,200
This work with Gilbert
is quite simply killing me.

161
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:22,800
Working with Gilbert would kill anybody.

162
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:26,800
Is your contract with D'Oyly
and Mr Gilbert not important to you?

163
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,400
But our present concern is your health.

164
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,800
You must go to the South of France
and recover.

165
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,300
We can discuss this on your return.

166
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:37,100
I shall recover, D'Oyly.

167
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:39,700
And I shall return.

168
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:43,700
But there will be nothing to discuss.

169
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,100
Did you dine at the Beefsteak Club?

170
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:49,300
Yes. Somewhat unsatisfactory.

171
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,400
Oh.

172
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,900
Well, you missed Mrs Judd's rabbit curry.

173
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:57,700
One gets the impression that everyone
is snickering behind one's back.

174
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,600
Perhaps you could have some
for tomorrow's lunch.

175
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:04,300
The king of Topsy-Turvydom.

176
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:08,000
Humiliating.

177
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,600
You look a little uncomfortable.

178
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,200
I'm comfortable enough.

179
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,300
I watched a bit from the wings.

180
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,800
- Oh, did you?
- The first act.

181
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:22,100
Seemed to be going well, surprisingly.

182
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:25,800
There! You see?

183
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,700
Would you like me to read to you?

184
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:35,200
No, thank you. I'll leave you.

185
00:11:35,500 --> 00:11:37,400
You must be tired.

186
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,400
No, I'm not in the slightest.

187
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,500
Wrong of me to unburden myself on you.

188
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:45,400
Don't be silly. That's why I'm here.

189
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,800
Come and talk to your Kitty.

190
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:53,400
Sometimes one wonders
why one bothers.

191
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:57,000
They say jump... you jump.

192
00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:00,800
- Good night, my dear.
- Good night.

193
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:09,500
Lady Colin is endeavouring
to persuade us to take up smoking.

194
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:12,300
She's writing an article for
{y:i}The Saturday Review.

195
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,200
She proposes that nicotine
is a gift from the gods...

196
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:18,300
...and if men may benefit
from its soothing qualities...

197
00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:21,400
...why, then, may women not also?

198
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,600
My poor daughter now believes that...

199
00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:27,600
...smoking is an extension
of the communion...

200
00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:29,800
...between a woman and her husband.

201
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:33,300
- Will she smoke on her wedding day?

202
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,300
Heaven forfend!

203
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,100
Lady Colin is... irresistible.

204
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,000
She cannot conceive
why the Irish are starving...

205
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:44,700
...when there's
"lots of good fish in the sea".

206
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,800
She most probably has a point.

207
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,200
- Oh, there's good news from Dublin.
- Mmm?

208
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:52,200
The Churchills "are" to return to London.

209
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,200
Forgiven, but not forgotten.

210
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:58,000
I do hope so.

211
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,300
Jenny says Winston is 11,
covered in freckles...

212
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:05,500
...and has a total disdain for authority.

213
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,400
Mmm.

214
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,700
I shall miss this fragrance.

215
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,200
Sicilian lemons.

216
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:23,200
Have you chosen your Beethoven
for the Philharmonic Society?

217
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,000
As a matter of fact, I have.

218
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,500
Yes.

219
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:29,600
- No.2?
- The Seventh.

220
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:32,800
- Ah.
- More dramatic.

221
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,600
And that is to be your work
whilst you're away?

222
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:41,300
That... and only that.

223
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,800
Will there be room for Mr Gilbert
in your baggage?

224
00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:47,800
Certainly not. He's far too large.

225
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,500
Food for thought.

226
00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:53,600
{y:i}Ce n'est pas � moi de dire.

227
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:56,400
Indeed not.

228
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,300
Which train will you catch?

229
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:03,000
The tidal train.

230
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,200
Up at seven.

231
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,400
{y:i}Arriver � Paris � 3:30?

232
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:11,000
{y:i}� peu pr�s.

233
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:14,700
How will you spend
your first night of liberty?

234
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,800
I shall take some exercise.

235
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,800
Hmm!

236
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,600
{y:i}La poup�e de Paris, alors!

237
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:40,200
{y:i}# Les oiseaux

238
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:47,400
{y:i}# Dans la charmille

239
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,900
{y:i}C'est �mouvant!

240
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,000
Whoo!

241
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,100
{y:i}Allez, battez!

242
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,400
{y:i}C'est mes cuisses!

243
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:23,200
{y:i}Plus de cuisses!

244
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:31,400
Whoo!

245
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:37,600
{y:i}Comment vous appelez-vous?

246
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,400
{y:i}Voil� Mademoiselle Fromage, monsieur.

247
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,300
{y:i}Oui, c'est vrai.

248
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:47,000
{y:i}Quelle sorte de fromage?

249
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,500
{y:i}Peut-�tre un fromage suisse?

250
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:49,700
{y:i}Oui, oui!

251
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,600
{y:i}Avec des petits trous?

252
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,100
{y:i}Si je peux vous embrasser...

253
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,100
{y:i}Et vous aussi.

254
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,500
# This helmet I suppose

255
00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:09,000
# Was meant to ward off blows

256
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:12,200
# It's very hot and weighs a lot

257
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,200
# As many a guardsman knows

258
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,200
# As many a guardsman knows

259
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:20,100
# As many a guardsman knows

260
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,300
# As many a guardsman knows

261
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,300
# So off

262
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,400
# So off that helmet goes

263
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,700
# Yes, yes, yes!

264
00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:33,800
# So off that helmet goes

265
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:36,300
# This tight-fitting cuirass

266
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:38,400
# Is but a useless mass

267
00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:41,600
# It's made of steel and weighs a deal

268
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,700
# This tight-fitting cuirass

269
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,400
# Is but a useless mass

270
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:49,900
# A man is but an ass

271
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:52,400
# Who fights in a cuirass

272
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,300
# So off

273
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,600
# So off goes that cuirass

274
00:17:57,900 --> 00:18:00,900
# Yes, yes, yes

275
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,800
# So off goes that cuirass

276
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,200
# Behold!

277
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:10,600
My voice.
My voice - I've strained my voice.

278
00:18:10,900 --> 00:18:12,700
I've been trying too hard.

279
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,400
The smaller the house,
the greater the effort.

280
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:18,400
I'm very cross with myself.
I should know better.

281
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:22,200
One's knocking one's pipes out
in a vain attempt to elicit a response...

282
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:26,900
...from three colonial bishops, two elderly
ladies and an intoxicated costermonger!

283
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,200
They're roasting in their own lard,
like the Christmas goose.

284
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,500
And the costermonger left at the interval.

285
00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:34,200
- Did he?
- Mm.

286
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:37,200
Ha! A man of infinite taste. Clearly!

287
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,500
Will you take a wee gargle
of my salt water?

288
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:42,500
No, thank you.
It would put me in mind of my boyhood.

289
00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:44,400
Mm. Do forgive me.

290
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:48,100
Not at all.

291
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,200
I fear that dear Mr Gilbert
has run out of ideas.

292
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,800
- No.
- He doesn't know what to do with me!

293
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,300
Ponder this.

294
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:58,000
He thrusts me into
tight-fitting pots and pails...

295
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,100
...and poaches me
like a fucking haddock!

296
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,700
Forgive my Anglo-Saxon, Mr Butt.
Have a biscuit.

297
00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:05,800
Thank you, sir.
I'll take one 'ome with me for me supper.

298
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,900
Dickie, it's just this heat.

299
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:11,100
It addles the noodles.
It happened to me in Milan frequently.

300
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:14,000
{y:i}Ah, Milano. Bellissimo.

301
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,700
The heat less hellish.

302
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,200
I am humiliated.

303
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,200
One might as well be in the chorus.

304
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:27,000
Away wi' you, you wee monkey!

305
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,800
Alas, no!

306
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:33,200
The reign of the Emperor Gilbert
is all but at an end.

307
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:36,200
I consider this to be his best piece so far.

308
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,700
With all due respect, Durward,
your romantic opinion may be informed...

309
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,900
...by the fact that you take a rather good
role, in which you are "tr�s splendide".

310
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,000
{y:i}- Mm, grazie.
{y:i}- Prego.

311
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,700
But I consider "Princess Ida"
to be their worst.

312
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,600
- Do you?
- I do.

313
00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:54,500
Where is the panache of "Pirates"?

314
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,600
The wit of the "Pinafore"?

315
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:59,700
From such a face and form as mine...

316
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,700
...the noblest sentiments...

317
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000
...sound like the black utterances...

318
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,400
...of a depraved imagination.

319
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:09,200
It was very good, you know.

320
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,900
- Yes, Dickie.
- Do forgive me, dear boy.

321
00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:14,400
I don't wish to be the prophet of doom.

322
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,400
But one has the distinct feeling...

323
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:22,600
...that the sword of Damocles hovers
ominously over the Savoy Theatre.

324
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,000
How was Temple?

325
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:31,000
Oh. Rather disgruntled, I fear.

326
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,800
As though he wasn't
quite enjoying himself.

327
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,900
His heart wasn't in it.

328
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,200
No. One can usually rely
on Mr Temple, can't one?

329
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,400
Mmm.

330
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:46,700
And the ladies' chorus look as though
they could all do with a hearty meal.

331
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,700
It's this infernal heat.

332
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:53,400
One still has to feed oneself, Willie,
whatever the weather.

333
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,700
And the audience
were fanning themselves...

334
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,800
...with their programmes and libretti.

335
00:20:58,100 --> 00:21:01,900
Most distracting when one is striving
to concentrate on the performance...

336
00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:05,600
...to have in the corner of one's eye
this confounded flapping!

337
00:21:05,900 --> 00:21:08,000
Makes one want to stand up and shout!

338
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,200
- I trust you restrained yourself.
- Of course I did, Willie.

339
00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:13,600
- More tea, ma'am?
- No, thank you, Pidgeon.

340
00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:15,400
- Coffee, sir?
- Yes.

341
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,500
Pidgeon. Did my father say anything else?

342
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:22,000
Nothing I should care to repeat, sir.

343
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:25,100
There were more people
on the stage than in the audience.

344
00:21:25,300 --> 00:21:27,800
Did you count them?

345
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,800
- No, of course I didn't.
- Then how do you know?

346
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,900
I was speaking metaphorically.

347
00:21:34,100 --> 00:21:36,000
You were exaggerating.

348
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,000
- Anything else, sir?
- No, thank you.

349
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,300
Oh, horror!

350
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,000
Horror!

351
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,300
Horror!

352
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:51,000
Willie.

353
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,400
- Come in.

354
00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:57,600
- Good morning, my dear.
- Good morning, Richard.

355
00:21:57,900 --> 00:22:00,900
- Another scorcher.
- The everlasting bonfire.

356
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:05,300
- Good morning, guv'nor.
- Morning, Barker.

357
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,800
Thank you.

358
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,800
- Shocking.
- Most alarming.

359
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,400
A mediocre evening.

360
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,500
- Three fainters.
- In the audience?

361
00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:18,600
I fear so. All women.

362
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,000
- Any absentees?
- Four chorus members.

363
00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:25,300
- With doctors' notes?
- Yes.

364
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,900
And... how are the returns?

365
00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:34,400
- Oh, good grief!
- It's an improvement on Monday.

366
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,400
Seven dead horses
in the Strand this morning...

367
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,700
Well, one down by Trafalgar Square.

368
00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:44,500
How can you sit there
in your hat and coat, Barker?

369
00:22:44,700 --> 00:22:47,200
I'm too hot to remove them, Mr Carte.

370
00:22:47,500 --> 00:22:50,200
- This is developing into a crisis.
- Indeed it is.

371
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:54,200
- A man has a family to support.
- I fear we shall all have to "pray" for rain.

372
00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:57,500
If it's any consolation,
every theatre in town is afflicted.

373
00:22:57,700 --> 00:22:59,700
Even the Gaiety, graced as it is with...

374
00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:03,500
...Madame Bernhardt's
execrable Lady Macbeth. 38 per cent.

375
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,200
- Who told you that, Barker?
- Hollingshead.

376
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,700
I played a game of cricket
with him this morning at Coram's Fields.

377
00:23:09,900 --> 00:23:13,200
- In this heat?
- Er, yes, madam, but not in this attire.

378
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:14,300
Good.

379
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,100
- Mr Hollingshead told you a fib, Barker.
- Indeed?

380
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,000
He's only playing to 29 per cent.

381
00:23:20,300 --> 00:23:23,600
Mr Hollingshead has no need
to lie to "me", Mr Carte.

382
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:27,200
Mr Hollingshead has much need
to lie to everybody, Mr Barker.

383
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:31,400
- Especially you.
- Gentlemen...!

384
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,100
Are you there?

385
00:23:40,300 --> 00:23:42,200
Yes.

386
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:45,900
8505.

387
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,200
Hello!

388
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:58,000
- Is that you, Mr Gilbert?
- Hello!

389
00:23:58,300 --> 00:24:01,100
- Hello?
- Good morning, Barker.

390
00:24:01,300 --> 00:24:03,800
This is Barker speaking!

391
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,200
- Gilbert here!
{y:i}- Good morning, Mr Gilbert.

392
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,900
How are we today, Barker?

393
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,900
Are we popular, or are we mad?

394
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,000
Er... We are popular!

395
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:17,600
{y:i}Very good. Carry on.

396
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:21,900
Here is your message for today!

397
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,700
U, U, plus ten shillings and sixpence!

398
00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:28,400
- Can you repeat that, please?!
- Yes.

399
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,500
U... U!

400
00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:32,600
So that's U for udder...

401
00:24:32,900 --> 00:24:35,900
...U for udder,
plus ten shillings and sixpence.

402
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,700
So you have two udders, Barker!

403
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,600
- Er... yes.
- I always suspected as much!

404
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,800
{y:i}- Thank you.
- Thank you!

405
00:24:48,100 --> 00:24:51,000
- Goodbye!
- Goodbye, Mr Gilbert!

406
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,500
I'm going to hang up the telephone now!

407
00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:57,200
In... Indeed you are, sir.

408
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,600
Well, I'm, er... going out to seek
a little Italian hokey-pokey...

409
00:25:09,900 --> 00:25:13,500
...and I care not who knows it.
- Thank you, Barker.

410
00:25:13,700 --> 00:25:17,100
I shall not return with any for you, sir,
because it would melt.

411
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,600
{y:i}Au revoir.

412
00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:25,600
I owe you an apology, Kitty.
I fear you weren't exaggerating after all.

413
00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:28,300
Apology accepted. Thank you, Willie.

414
00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:33,000
Schwenck speaks to the Savoy
every morning in code, Father-in-law...

415
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,700
...just in case the telephone operator
should be eavesdropping.

416
00:25:36,900 --> 00:25:40,100
One might as well open the window
and shout down the street.

417
00:25:40,300 --> 00:25:44,200
- That will be more comfortable for you.
- Sheer waste of time.

418
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:48,200
It will only result in the further erosion
of the written word.

419
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,300
Would you care to sit down now?

420
00:25:50,500 --> 00:25:54,500
Er... er... thank you.

421
00:25:55,700 --> 00:25:59,500
- Ah, there you are, Pidgeon.
- Ma'am.

422
00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:04,300
I do apologise, sir,
that neither I nor Schwenck was here...

423
00:26:04,500 --> 00:26:07,000
...to welcome you
on your arrival last night.

424
00:26:07,300 --> 00:26:11,000
I do not appreciate being left
upon the doorstep like a hawker.

425
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:15,400
If you'll only press the electric bell,
Father, you'll be admitted at once.

426
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,000
- Is that not so, Pidgeon?
- Indeed it is, sir.

427
00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:23,000
I have no intention
of placing my life in danger, sir!

428
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,000
How many doorstep deaths
have we had thus far, Pidgeon?

429
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,200
Er, none to my certain knowledge, sir.

430
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,200
There you are, Father.
The odds appear to be in your favour.

431
00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:33,300
- Anything else, sir?
- No, thank you.

432
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,200
Would you tell Mrs Judd
Dr Gilbert will join us for lunch?

433
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:37,700
Certainly, ma'am.

434
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:41,900
You know, Father-in-law,
that you are most welcome in our home...

435
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,600
...at any time.

436
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:47,900
But, please, do try to inform us
of your intention to visit.

437
00:26:48,100 --> 00:26:51,000
A father should not have
to seek permission...

438
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,000
...to visit his own son!

439
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,200
The son shouldn't be expected
to be clairvoyant!

440
00:26:56,400 --> 00:27:00,000
Who does he think I am? Harlequin?

441
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,400
Would you excuse me?

442
00:27:03,900 --> 00:27:08,400
I take it that you will be joining
us for lunch, Father-in-law?

443
00:27:08,700 --> 00:27:13,700
I-I have no idea where
I shall be taking luncheon...

444
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,500
...thank you.

445
00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:20,700
Well, perhaps Schwenck
can persuade you.

446
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,600
Take lunch with us, Father.

447
00:27:24,900 --> 00:27:28,400
We shall enjoy your company.

448
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,400
Am I to understand, sir...

449
00:27:33,700 --> 00:27:36,500
...that you have been
in communication with your mother?

450
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:40,200
No, Father, not for some
considerable time, I'm glad to say.

451
00:27:40,500 --> 00:27:42,900
You are a liar, sir.

452
00:27:43,100 --> 00:27:44,500
No, sir!

453
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:47,000
I can assure you, Papa,
that the last person...

454
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,600
...with whom I wish
to have any communication...

455
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,600
...is your estranged wife!

456
00:27:51,900 --> 00:27:54,700
The vicious woman who bore me
into this ridiculous world!

457
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:58,200
How dare you, sir! Have you no respect?

458
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,200
Don't misunderstand me, Father.

459
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:03,100
Nobody respects her more than I do,
and I can't stand her.

460
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,000
She is a veritable gorgon!

461
00:28:05,300 --> 00:28:08,700
She is indeed!
And she has chosen her own path.

462
00:28:08,900 --> 00:28:11,900
And in so doing, she has turned
her back on yourself and myself.

463
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:17,500
And for that small mercy,
we should both of us be eternally grateful.

464
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:27,200
Those terrors...

465
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:31,200
...that visit me in the night.

466
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,300
They can never be vanquished.

467
00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:36,600
Ah! Insomnia. I suffer from it myself.

468
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,700
But it is she who sends them.

469
00:28:38,900 --> 00:28:41,500
I know it is she!

470
00:28:41,700 --> 00:28:44,600
I know not what heathen oracle
she consults...

471
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:49,000
...what filthy familiar she employs.

472
00:28:49,300 --> 00:28:54,200
I know that... they will come.

473
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:57,900
Wh... Wh... What are these walls?

474
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:46,800
�5,000?

475
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:50,400
The last ten shares. Worth every penny.

476
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,400
Trust me, Arthur.

477
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,800
I do, D'Oyly.

478
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,600
- What's this?
- Pull it.

479
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,400
It's a reservoir pen. It contains its own ink.

480
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:09,700
Good gracious me!
Whatever will they think of next?

481
00:30:09,900 --> 00:30:12,700
Try it.

482
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,500
Now, how long is all this going to take?

483
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:24,600
Two years.

484
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,400
I shall begin the foundations next month.

485
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,600
Thank you.

486
00:30:31,700 --> 00:30:33,300
To the Savoy Hotel.

487
00:30:33,500 --> 00:30:36,600
The Savoy Hotel.

488
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,800
With its 70 bathrooms.

489
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,000
The builder was much bemused.

490
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,200
"What's the point of 'aving a bathroom
to every bedroom?"

491
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,600
"Who's gonna be staying there?
Amphibians?"

492
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:51,400
D'Oyly, I can't tell you how delightful
it is to see you here in Paris.

493
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:55,000
- You're looking much better.
- A new man!

494
00:30:55,300 --> 00:30:58,400
Monte Carlo was most profitable.

495
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:02,500
Florence was hideously hot.
I sampled the chartreuse at Certosa.

496
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,500
The monks were uncommonly charming.

497
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:10,400
The train journey through
the St Gotthard Pass is spectacular.

498
00:31:10,700 --> 00:31:13,100
You must go. And Lucerne...

499
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:15,000
Tranquillity itself.

500
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:17,000
I walked until I dropped.

501
00:31:17,300 --> 00:31:21,200
Did you receive my letter?

502
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:22,700
Yes, I did.

503
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,400
Good.

504
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,100
And?

505
00:31:29,900 --> 00:31:31,700
It came to Brussels.

506
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,000
I "sent" it to Brussels, Arthur.

507
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:37,700
Yes, of course.

508
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,800
{y:i}Nous sommes pr�ts.

509
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,200
{y:i}Vouz avez tu� ce pigeon vous-m�me?

510
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:57,000
{y:i}Non, monsieur.
{y:i}Je laisse au bourreau le soin de le faire.

511
00:31:57,300 --> 00:32:00,200
{y:i}C'est mieux comme �a.

512
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:07,600
So, what is your position?

513
00:32:09,700 --> 00:32:12,200
Much the same, I'm afraid.

514
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:15,400
I fully realise, D'Oyly,
that you have me under contract.

515
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:21,200
But I cannot write
any more operas for the Savoy.

516
00:32:22,100 --> 00:32:26,000
At least, not of that particular character.

517
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,000
I think you should tell Gilbert.

518
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:34,200
I shall. The moment I return.

519
00:32:34,500 --> 00:32:35,200
{y:i}Messieurs...

520
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:36,500
{y:i}... je vous souhaite bon app�tit.

521
00:32:36,700 --> 00:32:40,200
{y:i}- Merci.
{y:i}- Merci.

522
00:32:44,300 --> 00:32:46,100
# The reason is not far to find

523
00:32:46,300 --> 00:32:48,100
# When we are near

524
00:32:48,300 --> 00:32:53,200
# For though they say that love is blind

525
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:54,700
# Ah, never fear

526
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:56,600
# Ah, ah, ah

527
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,400
# We see our destinies entwined

528
00:32:59,700 --> 00:33:01,700
# In noonday clear

529
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:07,200
# And love is over all

530
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,100
# When shadows fall

531
00:33:10,300 --> 00:33:14,000
# And thou art

532
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:18,200
# Here

533
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:38,800
{y:i}- Il est bien, Clothilde.
- "Oui, madame." You are a tonic for him.

534
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,900
"Merci." Cherish him.

535
00:33:41,100 --> 00:33:44,000
Of course, "madame".

536
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,600
Oh! Mrs Ronalds.
What an unexpected pleasure.

537
00:33:46,900 --> 00:33:48,700
- Mr Gilbert, how are you?
- How are you?

538
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:50,600
- Quite well.
- I'm so pleased.

539
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,600
- He's in excellent spirits.
- I look forward to his tales.

540
00:33:53,900 --> 00:33:55,600
- Good day.
- Good day to you.

541
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,600
{y:i}- Au revoir.
{y:i}- Madame.

542
00:33:57,900 --> 00:33:59,900
{y:i}- �a va, Clothilde?
{y:i}- �a va, monsieur?

543
00:34:00,100 --> 00:34:01,800
- It is hot, no?
- Yes.

544
00:34:02,100 --> 00:34:03,800
- He awaits.
- Thank you.

545
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,900
How was your crossing, Sullivan?

546
00:34:06,100 --> 00:34:08,000
Mercifully smooth, thank you.

547
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:11,700
As smooth as D'Oyly Carte?

548
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,600
No, not quite, Gilbert!

549
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:16,700
- Lump sugar?
- Thank you, no.

550
00:34:16,900 --> 00:34:20,000
Oh, please do. I found it in Lucerne.
It's delicious.

551
00:34:20,300 --> 00:34:23,800
If you insist.

552
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,900
- Mmm! Very good.
- Good.

553
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:34,000
- Is Lucy well?
- Oh, she's in fine fettle.

554
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:37,000
She sends you her love
and trusts you are in good health.

555
00:34:37,300 --> 00:34:39,200
Thank you. Please reciprocate.

556
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:41,200
Oh, of course.

557
00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:43,500
Now, what's this Carte's been telling me?

558
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:45,300
Oh, dear.

559
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:47,900
- You can't be serious.
- I'm afraid I am.

560
00:34:48,100 --> 00:34:52,300
So you've torn up our contract into tiny
pieces and cast it to the four winds?

561
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:56,000
- Don't be absurd!
- That would be the implication.

562
00:34:56,300 --> 00:34:58,100
I hardly think so.

563
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,200
What else is one to deduce?

564
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,300
Oh, Gilbert.

565
00:35:03,500 --> 00:35:05,800
There's so much that I have
yet to do for music...

566
00:35:06,100 --> 00:35:07,900
...for my queen, for my country.

567
00:35:08,100 --> 00:35:12,000
Even if God were to grant me two days
for every one I have left on this earth...

568
00:35:12,300 --> 00:35:14,900
...I still should not be able
to achieve everything.

569
00:35:15,100 --> 00:35:18,200
Come, come, Sullivan, you're a genius.

570
00:35:18,500 --> 00:35:20,500
I merely bask in your reflected glory.

571
00:35:20,700 --> 00:35:22,500
Oh, Gilbert, please.

572
00:35:22,700 --> 00:35:28,300
But I'm somewhat at a loss. What is
the precise nature of your dilemma?

573
00:35:28,300 --> 00:35:31,800
How shall I put this?

574
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:37,500
My tunes, my orchestrations,
are becoming repetitious.

575
00:35:37,700 --> 00:35:41,300
I've rung all the changes possible
in the way of variety of rhythm.

576
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:43,500
I have such respect for your words...

577
00:35:43,700 --> 00:35:48,100
...that I have continually kept down
my music in order that they can be heard.

578
00:35:48,300 --> 00:35:50,200
It's no more than word-setting.

579
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:53,500
Sullivan, I have always
subordinated my words to your music.

580
00:35:53,700 --> 00:35:55,500
Oh, I think not.

581
00:35:55,700 --> 00:35:58,500
You've often expatiated
on the thorough good feeling...

582
00:35:58,700 --> 00:36:01,600
...with which we've worked together.
- Unquestionably.

583
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:06,100
But I want a chance for my music
to act in its own proper sphere.

584
00:36:06,300 --> 00:36:08,700
It does. It always has and it always will.

585
00:36:08,900 --> 00:36:13,200
It must be allowed to intensify the
emotional depth not only of your words...

586
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:18,400
...but of the situation, which can
be humorous, dramatic... What you will.

587
00:36:18,700 --> 00:36:20,600
Of course. It goes without saying.

588
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:22,800
You teach me the ABC of my profession.

589
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:26,900
Now. Would you care for me
to read this to you or not?

590
00:36:27,100 --> 00:36:30,900
- Where is it set?
- In the Sicilian mountains.

591
00:36:31,100 --> 00:36:36,200
Plenty of scope there for Gypsy music,
one might suggest.

592
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,300
Now, the local alchemist
is killed in an explosion...

593
00:36:39,500 --> 00:36:43,500
...and there, amongst his effects,
a chorus of villagers discover a potion.

594
00:36:43,700 --> 00:36:45,200
- Magic, no doubt.
- Indeed.

595
00:36:45,500 --> 00:36:47,100
I thought as much.

596
00:36:47,300 --> 00:36:51,300
The effect of this magic potion is
to transform the character who takes it...

597
00:36:51,500 --> 00:36:54,500
...into whatever he or she
is pretending to be.

598
00:36:54,700 --> 00:36:57,800
- You and your world of Topsy-Turvydom!

599
00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,800
In 1881, it was a magic coin.

600
00:37:00,100 --> 00:37:02,400
And before that, it was a magic lozenge.

601
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:07,800
And in 1877, it was an elixir.

602
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:10,600
In this instance, it is a magic potion.

603
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,600
"Act One. Scene:

604
00:37:12,900 --> 00:37:15,400
...a mountain inn
on a picturesque Sicilian pass."

605
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:19,800
"A range of mountains
with Etna in the distance."

606
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,400
- I've made you some beef tea, Mr Gilbert.
- Take it away.

607
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,500
You've not had anything
since yesterday afternoon, sir.

608
00:37:38,700 --> 00:37:41,700
- Take it away.
- You can't work on an empty stomach.

609
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:45,200
Can't work at all, Mrs Judd,
if I'm being constantly pestered...

610
00:37:45,500 --> 00:37:49,600
...by interfering women with hot beef tea,
cold compresses, mustard poultices...

611
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:52,200
...and excessive attacks
of philanthropic zeal.

612
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,500
- How's my wounded soldier?
- He's not doing as he's told, madam.

613
00:37:55,700 --> 00:37:57,600
Oh, isn't he now?

614
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:01,500
Willie, are you intending
to visit the dentist tomorrow?

615
00:38:01,700 --> 00:38:05,100
- You really...
- Oh, for God's sake! You pair of harpies!

616
00:38:05,300 --> 00:38:09,300
Get out! I'm working!

617
00:38:19,500 --> 00:38:23,000
- Willie.
- Madam...

618
00:38:23,100 --> 00:38:27,000
I had rather spend an afternoon
in a Turkish bath with my mother...

619
00:38:27,300 --> 00:38:30,800
...than visit the dratted dentist.

620
00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:35,200
Very well.

621
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,900
Good night!

622
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:53,900
- She's being just a little bit tricky.

623
00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:58,000
She's coming.

624
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,100
Well done, Mr Gilbert!

625
00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:03,000
Rinse.

626
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:06,400
She's a beauty.

627
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:10,100
- Open wide.
- Wh... What?

628
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:14,800
- Bite... really hard.

629
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:18,800
I must say, my wife and I
did find "Princess Ida"...

630
00:39:19,100 --> 00:39:21,400
...rather too long, don't you know.

631
00:39:23,700 --> 00:39:25,800
Try not to speak, old chap.

632
00:40:47,700 --> 00:40:50,100
I do hope you've enjoyed your evening...

633
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:56,600
...but before we say farewell,
may I suggest an impromptu?

634
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,600
Mr Walter Simmonds
has generously offered...

635
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:03,300
...to accompany me on the harmonium!

636
00:41:06,900 --> 00:41:11,300
Now, we have another very young
hopeful with us this evening...

637
00:41:11,500 --> 00:41:18,000
...who has kindly agreed to accompany us
with a new composition of his own.

638
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,700
{y:i}The Lost Chord!

639
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:30,600
Sir Arthur informed me
a few moments ago...

640
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:34,000
...that he cannot entirely
recall his new piece.

641
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:38,500
{y:i}- Merci, madame.

642
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:14,600
# Seated one day at the organ

643
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:19,800
# I was weary and ill at ease

644
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:25,400
# And my fingers wandered idly

645
00:42:25,700 --> 00:42:29,800
# Over the noisy keys

646
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:34,800
# I know not what I was playing

647
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:39,800
# Or what I was dreaming then

648
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:44,600
# But I struck one chord of music

649
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:50,300
# Like the sound of a great amen

650
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:53,700
# Like the sound

651
00:42:53,900 --> 00:43:04,100
# Of a great amen

652
00:43:12,100 --> 00:43:13,400
It's ridiculous.

653
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,000
It is. I sent him the thing
on Monday of last week.

654
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:19,500
He could have read it on the same day.
At the very least on Tuesday.

655
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:21,900
Now ten days have passed
and not a word.

656
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,800
- This concerns me greatly.
- It concerns "me" greatly.

657
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:28,500
- You'll have to go and see him.
- I'll be buggered if I do any such thing!

658
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:31,100
I present the man with my idea,
he rejects it...

659
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:35,200
...I respond in detail to his misgivings
but answer came there none.

660
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:38,700
Either he hasn't read it,
or he has read it and he doesn't like it.

661
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:42,300
If he doesn't, he should say so.
At least we shall know where we stand.

662
00:43:42,500 --> 00:43:45,300
- Go and see him.
- No, Carte! You go and see him.

663
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:49,000
I've no more shots in my locker.

664
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:51,200
Sullivan & Gilbert! Who are they?

665
00:43:51,500 --> 00:43:53,600
At least we're going to
revive "The Sorcerer".

666
00:43:53,900 --> 00:43:55,500
Only as a stopgap.

667
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,600
- It's breathing space.
- It won't run more than three months.

668
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,200
Your unbounded optimism
is inspiring, Carte.

669
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:05,600
I have great confidence in "The Sorcerer",
but I'm not in the business of revivals.

670
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:09,500
You are now. Since you've decided
to withdraw the ailing "Princess Ida"...

671
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:12,000
...in spite of the cooler weather.

672
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:37,200
# Sprites of earth and air

673
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:40,600
# Fiends of flame and fire

674
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:43,900
# Demon souls come here in shoals

675
00:44:44,100 --> 00:44:47,600
# This fearful deed inspire

676
00:44:47,900 --> 00:44:50,900
# Appear! Appear!

677
00:44:51,100 --> 00:44:54,200
# Appear!

678
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:04,500
# Good master, we are here!

679
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:10,600
# Noisome hags of night

680
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,800
# Imps of deadly shade

681
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:15,600
# Pallid ghosts

682
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:17,300
# Arise in hosts

683
00:45:17,500 --> 00:45:20,300
# And lend me all your aid

684
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,100
# Appear!

685
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:24,100
# Appear!

686
00:45:24,300 --> 00:45:27,300
# Appear!

687
00:45:32,300 --> 00:45:36,900
# Good master, we are here!

688
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:40,100
# Hark, hark, they assemble

689
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:42,200
# These fiends of the night

690
00:45:42,500 --> 00:45:44,400
# Oh, Alexis, I tremble

691
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:46,700
# Seek safety in flight!

692
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:49,000
# Let us fly to a far-off land

693
00:45:49,300 --> 00:45:51,000
# Where peace and plenty dwell

694
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:53,200
# Where the sigh of the silver strand

695
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:55,300
# Is echoed in every shell

696
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:57,700
# To the joys that land will give

697
00:45:58,000 --> 00:45:59,600
# On the wings of Love we'll fly

698
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:03,200
# In innocence there to live

699
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:07,400
# In innocence there to die

700
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:11,200
# In innocence there to live

701
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:15,700
# There to die

702
00:46:15,900 --> 00:46:18,400
# To live and die

703
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:20,700
# Too late, too late

704
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:22,700
# Too late, too late

705
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:24,700
# That may not be!

706
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,900
# It may not be

707
00:46:28,100 --> 00:46:29,400
# That happy fate

708
00:46:29,700 --> 00:46:31,800
# Is not for thee

709
00:46:32,100 --> 00:46:33,500
# That happy fate

710
00:46:33,700 --> 00:46:39,400
# Is not for thee

711
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,800
# Now, shrivelled hags with poison bags

712
00:46:44,100 --> 00:46:47,400
# Discharge your loathsome loads

713
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:50,600
# Spit flame and fire, unholy choir

714
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:53,900
# Belch forth your venom, toads

715
00:46:54,100 --> 00:46:57,600
# Ye demons fell with yelp and yell

716
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:00,600
# Shed curses far afield

717
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:04,700
# Ye fiends of night, your filthy blight

718
00:47:04,900 --> 00:47:09,500
# In noisome plenty yield

719
00:47:09,700 --> 00:47:12,200
Number one!

720
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:15,000
# It is done!

721
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:18,000
Number two.

722
00:47:18,300 --> 00:47:20,200
# One too few!

723
00:47:20,500 --> 00:47:24,300
Number three!

724
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:28,800
# Set us free! Set us free!
Our work is done

725
00:47:29,100 --> 00:47:30,200
# Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

726
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:35,100
# Ha ha ha haa!

727
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,400
# Let us fly to a far-off land

728
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:40,200
# Where peace and plenty dwell

729
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,000
# Too late, too late

730
00:47:42,300 --> 00:47:45,900
# Let us fly where the silver strand
is echoed in every shell

731
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:48,000
# Too late, too late

732
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:49,600
# Let us fly! Let us fly!

733
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:51,400
# That happy fate

734
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:57,200
# Let us fly! Let us fly!

735
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:06,700
- How many today, Jessie?
- Only nine, alas!

736
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:09,700
"Oh, alas!"

737
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,800
I have received none today.

738
00:48:13,100 --> 00:48:15,000
I'm utterly neglected.

739
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:17,100
Have these, you poor soul!

740
00:48:17,300 --> 00:48:21,500
I don't want your scraps, Jessie Bond.

741
00:48:21,700 --> 00:48:24,700
Too vigorous, Emily. Apply the bandage.

742
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:28,500
Beg your pardon, Miss Bond.

743
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:33,000
- Shall I ever find anybody again?
- Don't be so gloomy, Leonora.

744
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:38,000
Sadly, I seem to appeal
only to elderly gentlemen.

745
00:48:38,300 --> 00:48:41,100
Where are my young bucks and blades?
{y:i}Quel dommage!

746
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:43,400
I've told you what you must do.

747
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:47,200
The last thing a girl wants
after an evening's performance...

748
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:50,800
...is to have to go and sing
all night for London society.

749
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:54,000
Idle ladies and their odious husbands.

750
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:55,900
One has to sing for one's supper.

751
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,400
It's damned exhausting. I detest it.

752
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:00,400
Anyway, they're not all married.

753
00:49:00,700 --> 00:49:03,000
And some of them
are rather cute and courteous.

754
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:05,300
You have them dangling
on a leash, Jessie.

755
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:09,900
One must keep oneself amused,
don't you know?

756
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:14,900
So terribly trying.

757
00:49:15,100 --> 00:49:17,900
When I meet a gentleman,
he invites me to supper.

758
00:49:18,100 --> 00:49:20,600
I mention my little... secret...

759
00:49:20,900 --> 00:49:22,800
...and then he's off, quick smart.

760
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:24,800
{y:i}C'est impossible!

761
00:49:25,100 --> 00:49:26,800
You shouldn't reveal your secret...

762
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,600
...until he's fallen in love
with you and has proposed!

763
00:49:29,900 --> 00:49:31,600
Oh, Jessie, for goodness' sake!

764
00:49:31,900 --> 00:49:34,600
By the by, "monsieur",
you do realise I have a little boy?

765
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:38,600
I couldn't possibly pretend
that Stanton doesn't exist. No.

766
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:41,100
No, he's my precious little bundle.

767
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:43,800
- How's his toothache?
- Earache.

768
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,000
He suffers terribly, poor mite.

769
00:49:46,300 --> 00:49:50,200
- Shall I lace you up now, Miss Bond?
- Of course, Emily.

770
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:52,900
Surely your Mr Barnes would be willing?

771
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,900
Mr Baker. Jessie, please!

772
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:59,300
I do not intend
to become a widow again before I'm 50.

773
00:49:59,500 --> 00:50:03,100
No. Neither do I.

774
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:07,400
# No doubt, yet spite of all your pains

775
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:11,000
# The interesting fact remains

776
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:12,700
- Come in.

777
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:15,700
#... a little boy

778
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:20,700
# He was a little boy

779
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:22,400
Five minutes, Miss Braham.

780
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:26,300
- Thank you, Shrimp.
- Pleasure, miss.

781
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:34,700
# But soft, they waken one by one

782
00:50:34,900 --> 00:50:36,400
# The spell has worked

783
00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:38,900
# The deed is done

784
00:50:39,100 --> 00:50:42,900
# I would suggest that we retire

785
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:46,000
# While Love, the housemaid

786
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:50,500
# Lights her kitchen fire

787
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:53,700
# While Love, the housemaid

788
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:59,400
# Lights her kitchen fire

789
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:17,100
# Why

790
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:18,500
# Where be oi

791
00:51:18,700 --> 00:51:21,400
# And what be oi a-doin'

792
00:51:21,700 --> 00:51:24,700
# A-sleepin' out just when

793
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:28,100
# The dew do rise?

794
00:51:28,300 --> 00:51:33,600
# Why, that's the very way
your 'ealth to ruin

795
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:39,700
# And don't seem
quite respectable likewise

796
00:51:39,900 --> 00:51:42,300
# 'Ey, that's you

797
00:51:42,500 --> 00:51:44,800
# Only think of that now

798
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:48,400
# What may you be at now?

799
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:52,100
# Tell me do

800
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:58,100
# 'Ey, what a nose

801
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:00,600
# And oh, what eyes, miss

802
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:03,400
# Lips like a rose

803
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:05,700
# And cheeks likewise, miss

804
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,100
# Oi'll tell you true

805
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:10,900
# Which I never done, sir

806
00:52:11,100 --> 00:52:13,300
# Oi like you

807
00:52:13,500 --> 00:52:17,700
# As oi never liked none, sir.

808
00:52:20,100 --> 00:52:22,600
# 'Ey, but I do

809
00:52:22,900 --> 00:52:28,600
# Like you

810
00:52:56,900 --> 00:52:59,000
- Morning, Carte.
- Good morning, Gilbert.

811
00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:00,500
- Cigar?
- Thank you.

812
00:53:00,700 --> 00:53:02,600
- Gilbert.
- Sullivan. May I?

813
00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:04,200
- Certainly.
- Morning, D'Oyly.

814
00:53:04,500 --> 00:53:06,500
- Good morning, Miss Lenoir.
- Good morning.

815
00:53:06,700 --> 00:53:10,200
Good day, Helen.

816
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:14,300
Now, gentlemen.
We all know why we're here.

817
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:17,400
We seem to have come
to something of a standstill.

818
00:53:17,700 --> 00:53:21,500
- Indeed we have.
- Which, Arthur, is because...

819
00:53:21,700 --> 00:53:23,000
Oh.

820
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:24,600
Because, Helen...

821
00:53:24,900 --> 00:53:28,600
...I am unable to set the piece
that Gilbert persists in presenting.

822
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:32,600
The piece I persist in presenting
is substantially altered each time.

823
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:35,800
Otherwise there'd be little point
in my presenting it to you.

824
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,200
With respect, old chap,
it is not substantially altered at all.

825
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:42,400
You seem merely to have grafted
on to the first act...

826
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:46,000
...the tantalising suggestion
that we are to be in the realms of...

827
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:48,100
...human emotion and probability...

828
00:53:48,300 --> 00:53:53,000
...only to disappoint us by reverting to
your familiar world of Topsy-Turvydom.

829
00:53:53,300 --> 00:53:57,200
That which I have grafted on to Act One,
Sullivan, has been at your request.

830
00:53:57,500 --> 00:53:59,800
But if you take exception
to Topsy-Turvydom...

831
00:54:00,100 --> 00:54:03,400
...you take exception to a great deal
of my work of the past 25 years.

832
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:07,100
Not to mention much of what you and I
have written together since 1871.

833
00:54:07,300 --> 00:54:09,200
- That is patent balderdash!
- Is it?

834
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:12,900
Gentlemen, if we might keep things
cordial, we may make some progress.

835
00:54:13,100 --> 00:54:16,700
Arthur, can you really not see
your way to setting this new piece?

836
00:54:16,900 --> 00:54:20,500
- Alas, Helen, I cannot.
- Cannot or will not?

837
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:24,700
I am truly unable to set any piece
that is so profoundly uncongenial to me.

838
00:54:24,900 --> 00:54:27,000
Uncongenial though it may be to you...

839
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:30,200
...I must remind you that we here
are conducting a business.

840
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:32,800
May I remind you, Helen,
that I am not a machine.

841
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,400
I would not suggest for one moment
that you were.

842
00:54:35,700 --> 00:54:38,000
You all seem to be treating me
as a barrel organ.

843
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:39,800
You have but to turn my handle...

844
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,400
...and out pops a tune!
- That's not strictly true.

845
00:54:42,700 --> 00:54:44,800
- Arthur.
- Come now, that's unfair.

846
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:48,600
You are both contractually obliged
to supply a new work on request.

847
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:53,400
The very act of signing a joint contract
dictates that we must be businesslike.

848
00:54:53,700 --> 00:54:55,500
Yes, Mr Gilbert.

849
00:54:55,800 --> 00:55:00,000
And I was wondering whether "you" might
be able to solve our wee difficulty.

850
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:04,700
- How, pray?
- By simply writing another libretto.

851
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:11,500
It's out of the question. I have worked
for many long months at this play...

852
00:55:11,700 --> 00:55:16,000
...which I have every confidence will be
the best we have produced at the Savoy.

853
00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:18,600
To abandon it would be
both criminal and wasteful.

854
00:55:18,900 --> 00:55:19,800
I see.

855
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:23,600
Had the complaint been lodged earlier,
that might have been different.

856
00:55:23,900 --> 00:55:25,800
I did so when you presented the libretto.

857
00:55:26,100 --> 00:55:28,400
I was unable to present you
with the libretto...

858
00:55:28,700 --> 00:55:30,800
...until you returned from your grand tour!

859
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:33,900
- That is neither here nor there.
- No, Sullivan. Indeed.

860
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:37,200
I was here and you were there. Ha!

861
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:39,300
What I don't understand, Arthur...

862
00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:41,400
...is why you cannot set this piece.

863
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:44,400
You're our greatest composer.
Surely you can do anything?

864
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:46,500
How very kind you are, Helen.

865
00:55:46,700 --> 00:55:49,600
But I say again to you all,
I am at the end of my tether.

866
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:53,400
I have been repeating myself in this...
class of work for too long...

867
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:56,200
...and I will not continue so to do.

868
00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:59,000
Neither of us runs any risk
of repeating himself.

869
00:55:59,200 --> 00:56:02,000
This is an entirely new story,
quite unlike any other.

870
00:56:02,300 --> 00:56:04,400
It's markedly similar to "The Sorcerer".

871
00:56:04,600 --> 00:56:06,700
People say we're repeating ourselves.

872
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:08,800
How is it similar to "The Sorcerer"?

873
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:11,000
Obviously both involve characters...

874
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:13,800
...who are transformed
by the taking of a magic potion.

875
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:17,200
A device which I continue to find
utterly contrived.

876
00:56:17,500 --> 00:56:20,600
Every theatrical performance is
a contrivance by its very nature.

877
00:56:20,900 --> 00:56:26,600
Yes, but this piece consists entirely
of an artificial and implausible situation.

878
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:30,000
If you wish to write a grand opera
about a prostitute...

879
00:56:30,300 --> 00:56:32,300
...dying of consumption in a garret...

880
00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:34,700
...I suggest you contact Mr lbsen in Oslo.

881
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:37,900
I'm sure he can furnish you
with something suitably dull.

882
00:56:38,100 --> 00:56:40,800
- Gilbert, please.
- Hmm?

883
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,100
I do beg your pardon, Miss Lenoir.

884
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:44,700
Oh, no. Granted.

885
00:56:44,900 --> 00:56:48,800
The opportunity to treat a situation
of tender, human and dramatic interest...

886
00:56:49,100 --> 00:56:51,700
...is one I long for
more than anything else in the world.

887
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:56,200
If that is your sincere desire, I would
be willing, with Carte's permission...

888
00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:59,400
...to withdraw my services
whilst you write a grand opera...

889
00:56:59,700 --> 00:57:02,300
...with a collaborator
with whom you have more affinity.

890
00:57:02,500 --> 00:57:04,400
- No, Gilbert.
- I'm in earnest, Sullivan.

891
00:57:04,700 --> 00:57:07,000
No doubt we shall be pursuing that
in the future.

892
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:10,200
Indeed.

893
00:57:10,500 --> 00:57:12,600
Well, that is your prerogative, Carte.

894
00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:16,600
However, we are concerned
with the present.

895
00:57:16,900 --> 00:57:22,800
Arthur. Will you or will you not set
Mr Gilbert's new and original work?

896
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,700
{y:i}Ma belle H�l�ne: Ce n'est pas possible.

897
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,100
Truly?

898
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:31,600
I'm afraid so.

899
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:34,000
That being the case... Mr Gilbert...

900
00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:37,500
Am I right to suppose that
you remain unable to accommodate us?

901
00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:39,600
Indeed, Miss Lenoir.

902
00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:41,800
I have had what I deem
to be a good idea...

903
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:45,400
...and such ideas are not three a penny.

904
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:47,400
What a pity.

905
00:57:47,600 --> 00:57:52,500
This will be a very sad day
for many thousands of people.

906
00:57:52,700 --> 00:57:55,300
Well, gentlemen, I don't know about you...

907
00:57:55,600 --> 00:58:00,100
...but speaking for myself,
I could murder a pork chop.

908
00:58:06,200 --> 00:58:10,100
If you'll excuse me, I shall retrieve my hat.

909
00:58:26,500 --> 00:58:28,700
- Gilbert.
- Sullivan.

910
00:58:28,900 --> 00:58:30,800
Good day to you both.

911
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:33,800
No doubt we shall be in communication
in the near future.

912
00:58:34,100 --> 00:58:37,800
- Good day, Mr Gilbert.
- Good day.

913
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:47,400
You know where to find me.

914
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:50,700
Arthur.

915
00:59:02,300 --> 00:59:04,100
- Where have you been?
- Shopping.

916
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:05,600
Surprising(!)

917
00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:08,200
I was in Knightsbridge...
and guess what I saw?

918
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:10,200
An elephant gilding two lilies.

919
00:59:10,500 --> 00:59:12,300
- No.
- I have no idea.

920
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:15,000
Three tiny Japanese ladies!

921
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:19,000
- How do you know they were Japanese?
- They had on their funny dressing gowns.

922
00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:20,200
Had they just got up?

923
00:59:20,500 --> 00:59:22,600
No, there's a Japanese exhibition
at Humphreys' Hall.

924
00:59:22,900 --> 00:59:25,100
Oh, yes. Japanese village of some sort.

925
00:59:25,300 --> 00:59:28,000
Yes! Yes, sounds rather intriguing.
Might we visit?

926
00:59:28,300 --> 00:59:31,700
- No.
- But the whole of London will be going!

927
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,400
- Precisely!
- Don't be so stubborn!

928
00:59:34,700 --> 00:59:37,100
I have other things on my mind,
you know that!

929
00:59:37,300 --> 00:59:39,300
Yes, I do know that and I understand...

930
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:41,800
...but a little distraction will do you good.

931
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:45,300
- Kitty, I don't want to be distracted.
- Yes, you do.

932
00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:48,200
Oh, do I? You know my mind
better than I do, do you?

933
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:50,300
I know you better than you think I do.

934
00:59:50,500 --> 00:59:53,800
Lucy, if you wish to visit Humphreys' Hall,
by all means do so...

935
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:59,300
...but I shall not accompany you
for all the tea in China.

936
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:32,700
What are you writing, sir?

937
01:01:28,700 --> 01:01:30,800
- Good afternoon, Lucy.
- Maude!

938
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:32,900
Good heavens! What are you doing here?

939
01:01:33,100 --> 01:01:36,100
- How are you, Schwenck?
- How jolly! You must join us.

940
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:38,300
Unfortunately, we're about to leave.

941
01:01:38,500 --> 01:01:40,600
- Oh, what a pity.
- What do you make of it all?

942
01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:42,800
- It's entrancing.
- It's frightful.

943
01:01:45,300 --> 01:01:47,100
- How's Mother?
- Quite well.

944
01:01:47,400 --> 01:01:48,600
She's in bed.

945
01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:50,000
Come along, Maude.

946
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:53,000
- We mustn't keep you. Good day to you.
- Give her my best.

947
01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:54,100
Of course.

948
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:56,700
- Well... "au revoir".
- Good day, Maude.

949
01:01:56,900 --> 01:02:00,800
{y:i}Au revoir.

950
01:02:16,100 --> 01:02:19,400
- My goodness!
- Mmm.

951
01:02:19,600 --> 01:02:22,200
Perfectly green.

952
01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:26,400
- Spinach water.
- Oh, Willie!

953
01:02:27,100 --> 01:02:28,900
Thank you very much.

954
01:02:29,200 --> 01:02:31,100
Shikuspen, prease.

955
01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:34,700
- I beg your pardon?
- Shikuspen, prease.

956
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:36,700
- She speaks English!
- What did she say?

957
01:02:36,900 --> 01:02:39,200
She said, "Sixpence, please"!

958
01:02:39,500 --> 01:02:43,600
- Shikuspence, prease.
- Oh, sixpence!

959
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:47,800
- Thank you very much.
{y:i}- Arigato gozaimasu.

960
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:50,800
Shixpence, prease.

961
01:04:21,100 --> 01:04:23,600
Here we are, sir.

962
01:04:23,800 --> 01:04:27,500
- There, Pidgeon.
- Very good, sir.

963
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:31,000
{y:i}Comme �a.

964
01:04:31,200 --> 01:04:34,700
Yes, sir.

965
01:04:34,700 --> 01:04:38,200
Show it to me.

966
01:04:43,900 --> 01:04:46,900
To your right.

967
01:04:47,100 --> 01:04:50,700
More... Good. Down a bit.

968
01:04:50,900 --> 01:04:53,300
Down a bit... There.

969
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:57,300
- Mark it there.
- Yes, sir.

970
01:04:57,500 --> 01:04:59,600
- Give it to me.
- Thank you, sir.

971
01:04:59,800 --> 01:05:02,100
That's a fine-looking instrument, sir.

972
01:05:02,300 --> 01:05:04,400
Now, would that be Spanish or Italian?

973
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:09,200
- Neither, Pidgeon.
- Er, of course, sir.

974
01:05:23,700 --> 01:05:26,600
- Excellent! Thank you.
- Thank you, sir.

975
01:06:29,900 --> 01:06:34,500
Do we suppose that Lucy is... with child?

976
01:06:34,700 --> 01:06:38,200
- I beg your pardon, Mama?
- Lucy.

977
01:06:38,400 --> 01:06:41,800
Is she "enceinte"? With child?

978
01:06:42,000 --> 01:06:43,800
Why ever would you think that?

979
01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:46,400
One wouldn't have said she was sickly.

980
01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:51,600
Although... she did ask after "you", Mama.

981
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:01,100
What did he say?

982
01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:04,400
- Who?
- Schwenck!

983
01:07:04,600 --> 01:07:06,800
He said nothing, Mama! Nothing!

984
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:10,700
Nothing! Absolutely nothing!

985
01:07:16,300 --> 01:07:18,100
Your dear son said very little.

986
01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:23,500
And what he did say,
I have already told you.

987
01:07:23,600 --> 01:07:25,000
Now...

988
01:07:25,200 --> 01:07:28,700
Do you care for this or not?

989
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:32,300
It is merely a piece of wood.

990
01:07:32,500 --> 01:07:37,100
Very well. I shall keep it for my collection.

991
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:41,800
- Maude!
- Yes, Mama?

992
01:07:41,900 --> 01:07:46,200
Never bear a humorous baby.

993
01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:50,100
I shall endeavour not to, Mama.

994
01:09:42,200 --> 01:09:45,300
# Behold the Lord High Executioner

995
01:09:45,600 --> 01:09:48,700
# A personage of noble rank and title

996
01:09:48,900 --> 01:09:52,500
# A dignified and potent officer

997
01:09:52,700 --> 01:09:56,400
# Whose functions are particularly vital

998
01:09:56,600 --> 01:09:59,400
# Defer! Defer!

999
01:09:59,700 --> 01:10:02,800
# To the Lord High Executioner

1000
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:06,400
# Defer! Defer!

1001
01:10:06,700 --> 01:10:10,000
# To the noble Lord, to the noble Lord

1002
01:10:10,200 --> 01:10:15,300
# To the Lord High Executioner

1003
01:10:16,200 --> 01:10:19,400
# Taken from the county jail

1004
01:10:19,600 --> 01:10:23,200
# By a set of curious chances

1005
01:10:23,400 --> 01:10:27,000
# Liberated then on bail

1006
01:10:27,200 --> 01:10:30,800
# On my own recognisances

1007
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:34,600
# Wafted by a favouring gale

1008
01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:38,300
# As one sometimes is in trances

1009
01:10:38,600 --> 01:10:42,100
# To a height that few can scale

1010
01:10:42,300 --> 01:10:45,800
# Save by long and weary dances

1011
01:10:46,100 --> 01:10:49,800
# Surely never had a male

1012
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:53,300
# Under suchlike circumstances

1013
01:10:53,500 --> 01:10:56,600
# So adventurous a tale

1014
01:10:56,900 --> 01:11:01,500
# Which may rank with most romances

1015
01:11:01,700 --> 01:11:05,800
# Taken from the county jail

1016
01:11:06,100 --> 01:11:08,800
# By a set of curious chances

1017
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:12,400
# Surely never had a male

1018
01:11:12,600 --> 01:11:16,300
# So adventurous a tale

1019
01:11:16,500 --> 01:11:18,600
"The Mikado, or the town of Titipu."

1020
01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:20,500
"Act One."

1021
01:11:20,700 --> 01:11:23,200
"Scene: Courtyard of
Ko-Ko's palace in Titipu."

1022
01:11:23,400 --> 01:11:26,100
"Japanese nobles discovered
standing and sitting...

1023
01:11:26,400 --> 01:11:28,700
...in attitudes suggested
by native drawings."

1024
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:32,600
"Chorus: 'If you want to know who we are
We're gentlemen of Japan.'"

1025
01:11:32,900 --> 01:11:35,200
"'On many a vase and jar,
on many a screen and fan

1026
01:11:35,400 --> 01:11:38,500
we figure in lively paint,
our attitudes queer and quaint.'"

1027
01:11:38,700 --> 01:11:40,600
"'You're wrong if you think it ain't.'"

1028
01:11:40,800 --> 01:11:44,500
"'If you think we are worked by strings
like a Japanese marionette,

1029
01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:46,800
you don't understand these things -

1030
01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:48,800
it's simply Court etiquette.'"

1031
01:11:49,000 --> 01:11:52,200
"'Perhaps you suppose this throng
can't keep it up all day long.'"

1032
01:11:52,400 --> 01:11:54,400
"'If that's your idea, you're wrong.'"

1033
01:11:54,700 --> 01:11:56,600
"Enter Nanki-Poo, in great excitement."

1034
01:11:56,900 --> 01:12:01,000
"He carries a native guitar on his back
and a bundle of ballads in his hand."

1035
01:12:01,200 --> 01:12:02,800
"Recitative, Nanki-Poo."

1036
01:12:03,100 --> 01:12:04,800
"'Gentlemen, I pray you, tell me...

1037
01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:08,400
...where a lovely maiden dwelleth
named Yum-Yum, the ward of Ko-Ko.'"

1038
01:12:08,700 --> 01:12:10,700
"'In pity speak, oh, speak, I pray you.'"

1039
01:12:11,000 --> 01:12:13,800
"'I hurried back at once
in the hope of finding Yum-Yum...

1040
01:12:14,000 --> 01:12:16,300
...at liberty to listen to my protestations.'"

1041
01:12:16,600 --> 01:12:20,400
"Pish-Tush: 'It is true that Ko-Ko
was condemned to death for flirting...

1042
01:12:20,700 --> 01:12:23,200
...but he was reprieved
at the last moment...

1043
01:12:23,500 --> 01:12:27,000
...and raised to the exalted rank
of Lord High Executioner...

1044
01:12:27,200 --> 01:12:30,200
...under the following
remarkable circumstances.'"

1045
01:12:30,500 --> 01:12:32,300
"Song, Pish-Tush."

1046
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:35,000
"'Our great Mikado, virtuous man,

1047
01:12:35,200 --> 01:12:37,000
When he to rule our land began

1048
01:12:37,200 --> 01:12:39,500
Resolved to try a plan whereby

1049
01:12:39,700 --> 01:12:42,200
Young men might best be steadied.'"

1050
01:12:42,500 --> 01:12:44,600
"'So he decreed in words succinct

1051
01:12:44,800 --> 01:12:47,000
That all who flirted, leered or winked

1052
01:12:47,200 --> 01:12:49,200
Unless connubially linked

1053
01:12:49,500 --> 01:12:51,300
Should forthwith be beheaded.'"

1054
01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:55,000
"'And I expect you'll all agree
That he was right to so decree.'"

1055
01:12:55,200 --> 01:12:57,000
"'And I am right, and you are right,

1056
01:12:57,200 --> 01:12:59,800
And all is right as right can be.'"

1057
01:13:00,100 --> 01:13:02,200
"'This stern decree, you'll understand,

1058
01:13:02,400 --> 01:13:04,700
Caused great dismay
throughout the land,

1059
01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:07,200
For young and old and shy and bold

1060
01:13:07,400 --> 01:13:09,300
Were equally affected.'"

1061
01:13:09,600 --> 01:13:11,400
"'The youth who winked a roving eye

1062
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:14,100
Or breathed a non-connubial sigh

1063
01:13:14,300 --> 01:13:17,800
Was thereupon condemned to die.'"

1064
01:13:18,000 --> 01:13:19,900
"'He usually objected.'"

1065
01:13:20,100 --> 01:13:23,400
"'And you'll allow, as I expect,
That he was right to so object,

1066
01:13:23,700 --> 01:13:25,600
And I am right, and you are right

1067
01:13:25,800 --> 01:13:27,600
And everything is quite correct.'"

1068
01:13:27,900 --> 01:13:30,000
"'And so we straight let out on bail

1069
01:13:30,200 --> 01:13:32,200
A convict from the county jail

1070
01:13:32,400 --> 01:13:36,400
Whose head was next on some pretext,
Condemn-ed to be mown off,

1071
01:13:36,600 --> 01:13:38,800
And made him Headsman, for we said:

1072
01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:41,100
Who's next to be decapit-ed

1073
01:13:41,300 --> 01:13:45,300
Cannot cut off another's head
Until he's cut his own off.'"

1074
01:13:45,500 --> 01:13:48,900
"'And we are right, I think you'll say,
To argue in this kind of way,

1075
01:13:49,200 --> 01:13:51,000
And I am right, and you are right,

1076
01:13:51,200 --> 01:13:53,100
And all is right - too-loorallay!'"

1077
01:13:53,300 --> 01:13:56,200
"Chorus. End of song."

1078
01:13:56,500 --> 01:13:58,300
Highly amusing, Willie.

1079
01:13:58,500 --> 01:14:01,000
- Fatuous.
- Oh.

1080
01:14:01,300 --> 01:14:03,300
Surely Arthur likes it?

1081
01:14:03,500 --> 01:14:07,300
He hasn't said otherwise.

1082
01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:11,400
It certainly is rich
in human emotion and probability.

1083
01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:14,500
Hardly.

1084
01:14:15,400 --> 01:14:17,400
"Enter Pooh-Bah."

1085
01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:43,000
- It's a tragedy.
- It is.

1086
01:14:43,200 --> 01:14:44,300
{y:i}Che bruto.

1087
01:14:44,600 --> 01:14:48,000
Absolutely. He simply hasn't
played with a straight bat.

1088
01:14:48,200 --> 01:14:50,000
- Who's that?
- His Majesty the Mahdi.

1089
01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:52,200
- Oh, yes.
- No, it just isn't cricket.

1090
01:14:52,400 --> 01:14:56,400
Quite so. It's completely contrary
to the rules of engagement.

1091
01:14:56,700 --> 01:14:59,700
The man was surrounded on all sides
and massacred mercilessly.

1092
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:03,000
"What full fortune
doth the thick lips owe."

1093
01:15:03,300 --> 01:15:06,400
- What does that mean?
- Philistine.

1094
01:15:06,600 --> 01:15:09,100
It baffles me that you're baffled,
Barrington.

1095
01:15:09,300 --> 01:15:12,500
The Hottentot in the desert
doesn't play cricket.

1096
01:15:12,800 --> 01:15:15,900
His natural habitation
being the jungly-bungly tree...

1097
01:15:16,200 --> 01:15:19,500
...he is as yet hardly able
to walk upright, don't you know?

1098
01:15:19,700 --> 01:15:22,700
We strive to bring them civilisation...

1099
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:26,500
...and this is their gratitude.

1100
01:15:27,700 --> 01:15:31,800
Did you know that 56 families were
slaughtered on the Island of Skye?

1101
01:15:32,000 --> 01:15:35,600
- Really? When was that?
- In '82, I think.

1102
01:15:35,800 --> 01:15:38,100
And who perpetrated the outrage, pray?

1103
01:15:38,300 --> 01:15:41,800
- Oh, merely the, er... English militia.
- Extraordinary.

1104
01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:45,500
{y:i}Buon appetito.

1105
01:15:49,100 --> 01:15:51,100
Shall we indulge in another dozen?

1106
01:15:51,400 --> 01:15:54,500
- I rather think we ought, don't you?
- I think we might.

1107
01:15:54,700 --> 01:15:57,100
- Would you care for a second fish, Lely?
- No.

1108
01:15:57,300 --> 01:15:59,200
Or a veritable shoal, perhaps?

1109
01:15:59,500 --> 01:16:04,000
I've had an ample sufficiency,
thank you, my wee man.

1110
01:16:04,000 --> 01:16:06,500
I have an appointment
with Carte this afternoon.

1111
01:16:06,800 --> 01:16:09,400
- At what hour?
- Five o'clock.

1112
01:16:09,700 --> 01:16:12,400
Curious.
I shall be with him at half past four.

1113
01:16:12,600 --> 01:16:15,700
That's funny. I don't have
a meeting with him at four o'clock.

1114
01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:19,000
And it is my firm intention
to prise open his purse.

1115
01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:22,100
It will take a far stronger man
than you, Mr Barrington...

1116
01:16:22,300 --> 01:16:25,500
...to fulfil that Herculean labour.

1117
01:16:25,700 --> 01:16:27,900
What's "your" mission, Captain Grossmith?

1118
01:16:28,200 --> 01:16:32,000
Oh, there are certain little matters.

1119
01:16:32,100 --> 01:16:34,500
I should like to offer you
an increase in salary.

1120
01:16:34,700 --> 01:16:37,900
- Oh? Indeed?
- Indeed.

1121
01:16:38,100 --> 01:16:41,600
- That's most benevolent of you.
- It's no less than you deserve.

1122
01:16:41,800 --> 01:16:45,300
Thank you.
And by how much, might one enquire?

1123
01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:48,700
By 7 1/2 per cent.

1124
01:16:48,900 --> 01:16:50,800
Mm.

1125
01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:52,900
7 1/2.

1126
01:16:53,100 --> 01:16:55,900
Now, that would work out at, er...

1127
01:16:56,200 --> 01:16:58,500
- �30 per week.
- 30! Mm.

1128
01:16:58,800 --> 01:17:02,800
I see. Well, �30 per week
wasn't quite the sum I had in mind...

1129
01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:05,800
...as I wended my weary way here.

1130
01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:07,200
Indeed?

1131
01:17:07,500 --> 01:17:10,600
That would be three productions
with a negligible increase.

1132
01:17:10,900 --> 01:17:13,500
I don't consider an increase
of two pounds per week...

1133
01:17:13,700 --> 01:17:16,200
...over 12 months negligible, George.

1134
01:17:16,400 --> 01:17:19,500
One might have thought
the name of George Grossmith...

1135
01:17:19,700 --> 01:17:21,900
...my not inconsiderable contribution...

1136
01:17:22,200 --> 01:17:25,200
...would have been
more favourably recognised.

1137
01:17:25,400 --> 01:17:28,100
You do receive considerably more
than anyone else.

1138
01:17:28,400 --> 01:17:32,100
- Do I?
- Mm.

1139
01:17:33,600 --> 01:17:36,500
We should be terribly sorry to lose you.

1140
01:17:36,800 --> 01:17:40,000
Gilbert has written you
a particularly fine part in the new piece.

1141
01:17:40,200 --> 01:17:43,200
Precisely! As one would expect.

1142
01:17:43,400 --> 01:17:47,700
However, I should judge an increase
of a paltry two pound per week...

1143
01:17:48,000 --> 01:17:49,700
...to be wholly unacceptable.

1144
01:17:50,000 --> 01:17:53,500
Not to mention mildly insulting,
if one may say so.

1145
01:17:53,700 --> 01:17:59,800
And what figure had you in mind,
Mr Grossmith?

1146
01:18:01,300 --> 01:18:04,800
Er...

1147
01:18:04,800 --> 01:18:09,400
Forgive me, I seem to have
lost my train of thought.

1148
01:18:16,500 --> 01:18:20,600
Are you unwell, George?

1149
01:18:21,100 --> 01:18:24,400
I fear I may have come over a bit queer.

1150
01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:28,600
- Most embarrassing.
- You must take a little brandy.

1151
01:18:36,100 --> 01:18:38,800
A little water clears us of this deed.

1152
01:18:39,000 --> 01:18:40,900
I blame Grossmith for this.

1153
01:18:41,100 --> 01:18:43,000
- Only Grossmith?
- Thank you, Helen.

1154
01:18:43,300 --> 01:18:46,800
Confounded glutton.

1155
01:18:47,600 --> 01:18:49,800
- Are you feeling better?
- I do beg your pardon.

1156
01:18:50,100 --> 01:18:52,700
- This is awfully embarrassing.
- Not at all, Rutty.

1157
01:18:53,000 --> 01:18:55,900
Now why don't we return
to the subject of your salary?

1158
01:18:56,200 --> 01:18:58,600
Oh, yes.

1159
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:04,200
Well, I must declare that I'm rather
at a loss for words, D'Oyly.

1160
01:19:04,400 --> 01:19:07,800
- Excuse me.

1161
01:19:08,000 --> 01:19:10,100
Oh, I do beg your pardon.

1162
01:19:10,300 --> 01:19:12,400
This is a bally nightmare, damn it!

1163
01:19:12,600 --> 01:19:16,000
I shall be in my dressing room!

1164
01:19:16,400 --> 01:19:21,100
The more I see of men,
the more I admire dogs.

1165
01:19:22,900 --> 01:19:24,800
I'm soon to have a meeting...

1166
01:19:25,000 --> 01:19:28,500
...concerning the cast for the next opera.
- Yes, indeed.

1167
01:19:28,800 --> 01:19:32,000
I've heard a little rumour
that I might be playing the part...

1168
01:19:32,200 --> 01:19:35,600
...of a 14-year-old schoolgirl.
- Somebody's been telling tales.

1169
01:19:35,800 --> 01:19:38,800
They have indeed, Mr Carte!

1170
01:19:39,000 --> 01:19:42,500
Mr Gilbert will be very angry.

1171
01:19:43,000 --> 01:19:46,500
With reference to your engagement
for the opera...

1172
01:19:46,700 --> 01:19:51,200
...I have a great concern
about your little weakness.

1173
01:19:56,400 --> 01:19:58,700
I'm a little shocked, Mr Carte.

1174
01:19:58,900 --> 01:20:03,200
I really do believe that my behaviour
this last year has been exemplary.

1175
01:20:03,400 --> 01:20:06,000
I'm pleased to say
your tendency has improved...

1176
01:20:06,200 --> 01:20:10,000
...but I am concerned about the future.

1177
01:20:11,600 --> 01:20:14,700
Yes.
You're perhaps suggesting, Mr Carte...

1178
01:20:15,000 --> 01:20:19,300
...that I shan't be performing
in the next production.

1179
01:20:19,500 --> 01:20:23,200
Yes, I'm afraid I am.

1180
01:20:23,200 --> 01:20:27,800
But the outcome of that, Leonora,
is in your own hands.

1181
01:20:32,600 --> 01:20:37,800
Sometimes, Mr Carte,
I can be a very silly young woman.

1182
01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:40,800
You have an extraordinary talent.

1183
01:20:41,000 --> 01:20:46,100
It saddens me beyond measure
to see someone throw it away.

1184
01:20:46,200 --> 01:20:50,400
I assure you, Mr Carte,
that I shall be in tiptop form.

1185
01:20:50,600 --> 01:20:52,600
I'm very pleased to hear that.

1186
01:20:52,800 --> 01:20:56,600
Much relieved.

1187
01:20:58,800 --> 01:21:01,200
Do we have an understanding?

1188
01:21:01,500 --> 01:21:05,600
Yes, we do, Mr Carte.

1189
01:21:07,400 --> 01:21:10,800
Good.

1190
01:21:12,000 --> 01:21:13,600
# Charlie, Charlie

1191
01:21:13,800 --> 01:21:16,400
# War would not follow thee

1192
01:21:16,600 --> 01:21:18,600
# King of the Highland hearts

1193
01:21:18,800 --> 01:21:22,400
# Bonnie Prince Charlie

1194
01:21:22,600 --> 01:21:25,700
- Chop chop, Butt! How long do we have?

1195
01:21:26,000 --> 01:21:28,200
- Eight minutes, Mr Temple.
- Oh, jolly good.

1196
01:21:28,500 --> 01:21:30,600
- Shocking news from Khartoum.
- Indeed.

1197
01:21:30,800 --> 01:21:33,100
Something will have to be done,
{y:i}tout de suite.

1198
01:21:33,300 --> 01:21:34,600
Absolutely.

1199
01:21:34,800 --> 01:21:37,200
Mrs Temple hit the nail on the head,
as per usual.

1200
01:21:37,400 --> 01:21:38,400
Oh? What did she say?

1201
01:21:38,700 --> 01:21:41,600
"The nation loses a hero,
but the family loses a loved one."

1202
01:21:41,800 --> 01:21:44,600
- Ooh, how apt.
- Perspicacious woman is Mrs Temple.

1203
01:21:44,900 --> 01:21:46,700
Hat!

1204
01:21:47,000 --> 01:21:48,800
Consider this, my dear Butt.

1205
01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:52,000
Is it not the inevitable fate
of the professional soldier...

1206
01:21:52,200 --> 01:21:54,700
...that he may perish in battle?
- Indeed, sir.

1207
01:21:54,900 --> 01:21:57,500
But Dickie, have you heard
the "real" news of the day?

1208
01:21:57,800 --> 01:21:59,900
Yes, the Fenian bomb. Oh, dreadful.

1209
01:22:00,100 --> 01:22:02,000
No, Grossmith and Barrington.

1210
01:22:02,200 --> 01:22:04,000
- What?
- They're off tonight.

1211
01:22:04,300 --> 01:22:06,000
- Both of them?
- Yes.

1212
01:22:06,300 --> 01:22:08,000
- Why?
- Oysters.

1213
01:22:08,200 --> 01:22:10,400
- We shared luncheon.
- Did you swallow?

1214
01:22:10,600 --> 01:22:12,400
- No. I had sole.
- Off the bone?

1215
01:22:12,700 --> 01:22:15,600
- Yes. It was rather succulent.
- Wise man. Oysters can kill.

1216
01:22:15,900 --> 01:22:17,300
Unquestionably!

1217
01:22:17,500 --> 01:22:19,400
My aunt choked on a scallop
at Herne Bay.

1218
01:22:19,600 --> 01:22:21,700
- Really?
- Tragic.

1219
01:22:22,000 --> 01:22:23,700
Yes, they were away to see Carte.

1220
01:22:24,000 --> 01:22:25,600
- Oh, really?
- Mm.

1221
01:22:25,900 --> 01:22:28,400
- Will you be lobbying?
- No, I'll wait for my summons.

1222
01:22:28,600 --> 01:22:30,400
Quite right, dear boy.

1223
01:22:30,600 --> 01:22:32,800
One should not be rewarded
on one's ability...

1224
01:22:33,100 --> 01:22:35,300
...to ingratiate oneself
with the management.

1225
01:22:35,500 --> 01:22:38,200
Particularly when
the management have difficulty...

1226
01:22:38,500 --> 01:22:42,200
...locating the whereabouts
of the arse and the elbow!

1227
01:22:42,400 --> 01:22:45,900
Serves them both right.

1228
01:22:48,300 --> 01:22:50,600
Enter!

1229
01:22:50,900 --> 01:22:52,900
Five minutes, please, Mr Temple, Mr Lely.

1230
01:22:53,100 --> 01:22:56,500
- Thank you, Shrimp!
{y:i}- Merci, Crevette!

1231
01:22:56,700 --> 01:22:58,300
One, two, three, four.

1232
01:22:58,500 --> 01:23:01,800
# And so, although I'm ready to go

1233
01:23:02,000 --> 01:23:04,000
- # Yet recollect...
{y:i}- Dolce!

1234
01:23:04,200 --> 01:23:07,000
- # Did I neglect to thus effect...
- Expansive!

1235
01:23:07,200 --> 01:23:09,300
- # So I object
- Good!

1236
01:23:09,600 --> 01:23:13,100
- # And so, although
- Rutty, temper your volume, please.

1237
01:23:13,300 --> 01:23:16,600
- # And greatly pine to brightly shine
- And now!

1238
01:23:16,800 --> 01:23:20,400
# With grief condign I must decline

1239
01:23:20,700 --> 01:23:22,600
# And go and show both friend and foe

1240
01:23:22,900 --> 01:23:24,600
# How much you dare, I'm quite aware

1241
01:23:24,900 --> 01:23:26,600
# It's your affair yet I declare

1242
01:23:26,800 --> 01:23:28,600
# I'd take your share but I don't

1243
01:23:28,900 --> 01:23:30,700
Bovill, that's very good, but...

1244
01:23:31,000 --> 01:23:33,800
...I've gone to great pain
to provide you with triplets.

1245
01:23:34,000 --> 01:23:36,200
- Triplets, Sir Arthur, yes.
- On his salary!

1246
01:23:36,500 --> 01:23:38,200
- Rutty, please.
- Apology.

1247
01:23:38,400 --> 01:23:41,600
Consequently,
if you would be so kind as to trip.

1248
01:23:41,800 --> 01:23:44,400
- Of course, Sir Arthur.
- One, two, three, four!

1249
01:23:44,700 --> 01:23:46,200
# And go and show both friend and foe

1250
01:23:46,400 --> 01:23:48,400
# How much you dare, I'm quite aware

1251
01:23:48,700 --> 01:23:50,400
# It's your affair yet I declare

1252
01:23:50,600 --> 01:23:52,900
# I'd take your share
but I don't much care

1253
01:23:53,100 --> 01:23:55,200
- Very much better.
- Thank you, Sir Arthur.

1254
01:23:55,400 --> 01:23:58,000
- The new man's doing awfully well.
- Quite splendid.

1255
01:23:58,200 --> 01:23:59,800
Breathe, Bovill, breathe!

1256
01:24:00,000 --> 01:24:02,600
- It's "piano", Barrington, "piano".
- I'll do my best.

1257
01:24:02,900 --> 01:24:06,400
- As many P's as you can muster, Rutland.
- Without landing us in the soup!

1258
01:24:06,700 --> 01:24:08,300
One, two, three, four!

1259
01:24:08,500 --> 01:24:10,000
# And go and show both friend and foe

1260
01:24:10,200 --> 01:24:12,000
# How much you dare, I'm quite aware

1261
01:24:12,300 --> 01:24:13,900
# It's your affair yet I declare

1262
01:24:14,200 --> 01:24:15,600
# I'd take your share but I don't

1263
01:24:15,800 --> 01:24:16,800
And going on!

1264
01:24:17,000 --> 01:24:18,800
- # I must decline
- # So I object

1265
01:24:19,000 --> 01:24:20,700
- # I must decline
- # So I object

1266
01:24:21,000 --> 01:24:22,400
- # I'd take your share
- # So I object

1267
01:24:22,700 --> 01:24:24,800
- # I'd take your share
- # So I object

1268
01:24:27,800 --> 01:24:30,300
# To sit in solemn silence in a...

1269
01:24:30,600 --> 01:24:33,800
Gentlemen. "Un poco pi� viva", hm?

1270
01:24:34,000 --> 01:24:37,400
Now, before the double-bar line,
it's one, two, three, four.

1271
01:24:37,700 --> 01:24:40,200
And afterwards, one, two, three, four.

1272
01:24:40,400 --> 01:24:42,000
- Clear?
- Very quiet.

1273
01:24:42,200 --> 01:24:45,000
From here, please. One, two, three, four.

1274
01:24:45,200 --> 01:24:48,100
# Care, I don't much care,
I don't much care

1275
01:24:48,400 --> 01:24:51,200
# To sit in solemn silence
in a dull, dark dock

1276
01:24:51,400 --> 01:24:54,100
# In a pestilential prison
with a lifelong lock

1277
01:24:54,300 --> 01:24:56,800
# Awaiting the sensation
of a short, sharp shock

1278
01:24:57,100 --> 01:24:59,800
# From a cheap and chippy chopper
on a big, black block

1279
01:25:00,100 --> 01:25:02,600
# To sit in solemn silence
in a dull, dark dock

1280
01:25:02,800 --> 01:25:05,800
# In a pestilential prison
with a lifelong lock

1281
01:25:06,000 --> 01:25:08,500
# Awaiting the sensation
of a short, sharp shock

1282
01:25:08,700 --> 01:25:11,400
# From a cheap and chippy chopper
on a big, black block

1283
01:25:11,700 --> 01:25:12,900
# A dull, dark dock

1284
01:25:13,200 --> 01:25:14,300
# A lifelong lock

1285
01:25:14,600 --> 01:25:15,700
# A short, sharp shock

1286
01:25:15,900 --> 01:25:17,200
# A big, black block

1287
01:25:17,400 --> 01:25:19,900
# To sit in solemn silence
in a pestilential prison

1288
01:25:20,200 --> 01:25:22,800
# And awaiting the sensation
from a cheap and chippy chopper

1289
01:25:23,100 --> 01:25:24,300
# On a big

1290
01:25:24,600 --> 01:25:26,400
# Black

1291
01:25:26,600 --> 01:25:29,300
# Block

1292
01:25:29,600 --> 01:25:32,000
- Bravo!
- Splendid!

1293
01:25:32,300 --> 01:25:34,600
Louis! "Wir brauchen etwas Kaffee!"

1294
01:25:34,800 --> 01:25:36,600
Your coffee is ready, Sir Arthur.

1295
01:25:36,900 --> 01:25:40,200
- My word!
- First rate.

1296
01:25:40,400 --> 01:25:44,500
- Rutty, do go through.
- Thanks, old chap.