1 01:25:02,795 --> 01:25:06,026 I hate television. Gives me headaches. 2 01:25:06,232 --> 01:25:09,201 There's so many magnetic waves traveling in the airspace... 3 01:25:09,402 --> 01:25:11,131 because of TV and television. 4 01:25:11,337 --> 01:25:13,897 We're losing ten times as many brain cells as we're supposed to. 5 01:25:14,106 --> 01:25:15,937 0h, please! 6 01:25:16,709 --> 01:25:20,702 "The cow says blank." Three letters. 7 01:25:21,914 --> 01:25:24,940 - Dude! - "Dude"! 8 01:25:25,151 --> 01:25:30,214 Magnetic waves, brain cells, don't understand the connection. 9 01:25:30,423 --> 01:25:34,689 You know what else heard? Magnetic waves shrink silicone molecules. 10 01:25:39,198 --> 01:25:41,564 - 0h, my God! Turn it off. - It's not working. 11 01:25:41,767 --> 01:25:43,234 - It's backwards! - What to do? 12 01:25:43,436 --> 01:25:44,698 I don't know. 13 01:25:48,841 --> 01:25:51,833 - That was kinda scary. - I know something even scarier. 14 01:25:52,044 --> 01:25:53,773 - What? - Have you heard about this videotape? 15 01:25:53,979 --> 01:25:57,244 The one where they do it on the boat? Then in the car? And the bathtub? 16 01:25:57,450 --> 01:26:00,351 And he's like, "Baby, love you". And she's like, "Where are we?" 17 01:26:00,686 --> 01:26:03,018 - And did you see the... - No, not that tape. 18 01:26:03,723 --> 01:26:07,955 The one with all the scary images. After you watch it, the phone rings... 19 01:26:08,160 --> 01:26:11,220 and this scary voice comes on and says you are gonna die... 20 01:26:11,430 --> 01:26:13,762 In Seven days. I saw that one wit Josh, last weekend. 21 01:26:13,966 --> 01:26:15,957 You were with Josh last weekend? 22 01:26:16,268 --> 01:26:18,361 0h, my God! 23 01:26:20,372 --> 01:26:22,363 0h, yes, I was. 24 01:26:23,075 --> 01:26:25,066 You ho! 25 01:26:27,680 --> 01:26:29,511 You know it! 26 01:26:42,728 --> 01:26:45,788 - This is really weird. - Yeah. 27 01:26:45,998 --> 01:26:49,434 Big house, only one phone. 28 01:26:52,138 --> 01:26:54,163 Hello? 29 01:27:01,046 --> 01:27:06,313 - Hello? - I'm coming for you, my precious. 30 01:27:06,519 --> 01:27:10,353 - Hi, Mom. - Hi precious. Having fun? 31 01:27:10,556 --> 01:27:13,184 Hey, ask her which bathroom has the vibrating showerhead. 32 01:27:15,895 --> 01:27:19,592 Hello? Hello? 33 01:28:09,481 --> 01:28:11,472 Katie? 34 01:28:12,718 --> 01:28:14,709 Katie? 35 01:28:19,525 --> 01:28:21,516 Katie? 36 01:28:29,902 --> 01:28:31,870 Are you okay? 37 01:28:35,274 --> 01:28:37,242 Are you okay? 38 01:29:44,310 --> 01:29:48,337 Tom, did you hear... The dogs are acting strange. 39 01:30:08,834 --> 01:30:10,461 Damn it! 40 01:30:10,669 --> 01:30:14,400 Sue! What are you doing out here? 41 01:30:14,640 --> 01:30:17,438 - We were worried sick. - What's wrong? 42 01:30:28,020 --> 01:30:29,715 I wonder what they're trying to tell us. 43 01:30:38,564 --> 01:30:42,364 And now, Washington's leading morning news program... 44 01:30:42,568 --> 01:30:43,728 "The Morning News". 45 01:30:44,203 --> 01:30:45,795 Good morning. I'm Ross Giggins. 46 01:30:46,005 --> 01:30:47,563 For our top story: we turn now... 47 01:30:47,773 --> 01:30:49,172 ...to Cindy Campbell. - Thank you, Ross. 48 01:30:50,142 --> 01:30:51,268 There's a developing story... 49 01:30:51,477 --> 01:30:52,501 in Middleburg at this hour. 50 01:30:52,711 --> 01:30:54,702 A mysterious crop circle appeared... 51 01:30:54,913 --> 01:30:57,609 in local farmer Tom Logan's cornfield. 52 01:30:57,816 --> 01:31:01,149 Elaborate prank or extraterrestrial phenomenon? 53 01:31:01,353 --> 01:31:04,322 We'll update you as soon as we have any further information... 54 01:31:04,523 --> 01:31:06,491 but either way, it's clear something strange... 55 01:31:06,692 --> 01:31:08,853 is happening in that small town. 56 01:31:09,061 --> 01:31:12,656 - Ross. - I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. 57 01:31:12,865 --> 01:31:15,095 Coming-up, more news after this. 58 01:31:17,169 --> 01:31:18,602 - Cindy, you got a second? - Sure. 59 01:31:18,804 --> 01:31:21,705 I want you to take a look at this big strip club expos�. 60 01:31:21,907 --> 01:31:26,173 - I'd rather stick with the crop circle. - You know those things are a hoax. 61 01:31:26,378 --> 01:31:31,907 I sense something about that cornfield. Women's intuition, or ESPN, or both. 62 01:31:32,117 --> 01:31:35,109 But I can tell when danger's near. I just... 63 01:31:38,223 --> 01:31:41,522 It's sweeps month. Rating mean everything. 64 01:31:41,727 --> 01:31:45,720 People want human-interest stories, like the one you did yesterday. 65 01:31:45,931 --> 01:31:47,694 The report on breast augmentation? 66 01:31:48,233 --> 01:31:50,133 It was ten minutes of topless women. 67 01:31:50,702 --> 01:31:53,136 I mean, come on. 68 01:31:54,106 --> 01:31:57,098 Why are these so interesting? 0h, for God's sake! 69 01:31:58,210 --> 01:32:01,043 People don't care about this. They want hard-hitting stories... 70 01:32:01,246 --> 01:32:03,077 and in-depth coverage, and, and... 71 01:32:03,282 --> 01:32:05,375 And twins! 72 01:32:24,837 --> 01:32:28,136 You think it was the Kreisel boys who cut that stuff into your corn? 73 01:32:28,340 --> 01:32:31,104 All I know is my crops are gone. 74 01:32:31,310 --> 01:32:33,904 The bank's gonna foreclose if I can't pay the rent. 75 01:32:34,179 --> 01:32:37,512 I got sixty days to come up with US$ 1,50. 76 01:32:38,784 --> 01:32:42,311 I'm sorry. The last thing you needed... 77 01:32:43,155 --> 01:32:47,319 was more hardship in your life. Especially after what happened to... 78 01:32:47,526 --> 01:32:52,122 - Sheriff, I don't need your sympathy. - I didn't mean to upset you, Father. 79 01:32:52,331 --> 01:32:58,099 Please. I'm not a minister anymore. I lost my faith that terrible night. 80 01:32:59,471 --> 01:33:03,805 Your fate will return, just as sure as the sun will rise. 81 01:33:04,009 --> 01:33:05,033 Sounds like a long shot. 82 01:33:05,244 --> 01:33:09,840 Look, there's always an explanation for all this so-called phenomenum. 83 01:33:10,048 --> 01:33:13,142 Maybe you're right. It was probably just the Kreisels. 84 01:33:13,452 --> 01:33:18,856 When I get through with them, doubt you'll be seeing anything strange. 85 01:33:19,224 --> 01:33:20,851 You'll see. 86 01:33:22,661 --> 01:33:25,459 You all right, Tom? Get some rest. 87 01:33:33,071 --> 01:33:35,164 George! 88 01:33:36,675 --> 01:33:38,870 George! 89 01:33:40,612 --> 01:33:43,410 I need you back here tomorrow night after you pick up Sue. 90 01:33:43,615 --> 01:33:46,743 - That tractor needs fixin'. - Sorry, dog. Can't help you. 91 01:33:46,952 --> 01:33:51,048 - I have to get ready for my show. - Not that stupid hip-hop stuff again. 92 01:33:51,256 --> 01:33:53,520 Damn it, George, when are you gonna do something with your life? 93 01:33:53,725 --> 01:33:55,056 - I got a dream. - What is your dream? 94 01:33:55,260 --> 01:33:58,855 - To have a dream. - George, all you've done is chase... 95 01:33:59,064 --> 01:34:02,556 adolescent fantasies. You wanna be an astronaut, a cowboy... 96 01:34:02,768 --> 01:34:06,260 gynecologist to the stars! And now, this stupid hip hop thing! 97 01:34:06,471 --> 01:34:09,838 For your information, this hip-hop thing's gonna get me paid. 98 01:34:10,042 --> 01:34:11,703 I'm gonna win that rap battle tomorrow night. 99 01:34:11,910 --> 01:34:17,075 - Rap battle? 0h, for God's sake. - You just hate me 'cause I'm black. 100 01:34:17,282 --> 01:34:18,943 You don't have any faith in me. 101 01:34:19,151 --> 01:34:20,812 You don't have any faith in anything anymore. 102 01:34:21,019 --> 01:34:24,614 So why don't you just worry about you, and I'll worry about... 103 01:34:42,608 --> 01:34:44,735 Cody! 104 01:34:45,344 --> 01:34:49,371 - You're late again, Aunt Cindy. - I'm sorry, was stuck in traffic. 105 01:34:49,581 --> 01:34:50,707 Cindy! 106 01:34:50,916 --> 01:34:54,943 - Brenda, hi! - It's great to see you! 107 01:34:56,021 --> 01:35:00,117 - It's been so long. - Too long. I've been working so hard. 108 01:35:00,325 --> 01:35:02,316 I've had to spend more and more time at the station. 109 01:35:02,527 --> 01:35:05,360 The news just keeps on coming in. 110 01:35:05,564 --> 01:35:09,728 - What was the assignment? - Draw your family and friends. 111 01:35:09,935 --> 01:35:15,339 - So, anyone new in your life, Cindy? - Just haven't found the right guy. 112 01:35:15,540 --> 01:35:18,100 I'm looking for something more than just good sex. 113 01:35:18,310 --> 01:35:21,575 - I know. You want commitment. - No, want great sex. 114 01:35:21,780 --> 01:35:25,011 - And when I meet that guy... - That's what I'm talkin'bout! 115 01:35:25,217 --> 01:35:28,516 You want a guy that's like bam, bam, bam! You know what I'm sayin'? 116 01:35:29,955 --> 01:35:32,253 Did I say stop drawing? 117 01:35:32,691 --> 01:35:35,091 Look, when I meet Mr. Right, I'll know. 118 01:35:36,528 --> 01:35:41,932 - Uncle George! - Hey, sweetie, come here. 119 01:35:42,868 --> 01:35:45,098 Go get your stuff, okay? 120 01:35:46,338 --> 01:35:51,935 - You're Tom Logan's brother. - You're that reporter, Cindy Campbell. 121 01:35:52,144 --> 01:35:55,602 - You did the story on our "cop cycles". - Crop circles. 122 01:35:55,814 --> 01:35:57,475 Right. 123 01:35:57,816 --> 01:36:01,547 - So, you're here to pick up your... - Nephew. Cody. 124 01:36:02,254 --> 01:36:05,155 - You don't dress like a farmer. - My brother's the farmer. 125 01:36:05,490 --> 01:36:07,685 I'm the rapper. 126 01:36:08,093 --> 01:36:10,721 0h, for real. And here's the 611 on that. 127 01:36:10,929 --> 01:36:15,832 - That's phone repair. You mean 411. - Right. 128 01:36:16,034 --> 01:36:19,492 So, I'll be doing the rap battle at the 23 club tomorrow night. 129 01:36:19,705 --> 01:36:22,833 - I don't believe this shit. - You two should come down! 130 01:36:23,041 --> 01:36:27,034 I'll be rappin'. I'll be cappin', I'll be tappin'. I'll be flappin'. 131 01:36:27,879 --> 01:36:32,407 - Ding, bing, wing. - Sounds good. 132 01:36:32,617 --> 01:36:34,517 - Would, could, should, hoo... - Ugh. 133 01:36:36,355 --> 01:36:39,222 If we say we'll come, will you shut your ass up? 134 01:36:39,958 --> 01:36:43,724 0kay then. Fresh. I'll see you guys tomorrow night. 135 01:36:43,929 --> 01:36:47,524 - 0kay. Bye. - Peace out. 136 01:36:51,703 --> 01:36:53,603 Now who the fuck did that? 137 01:36:59,811 --> 01:37:02,177 Honey, what is it? Are you having one of your visions? 138 01:37:02,381 --> 01:37:06,841 There's a girl with black hair. She wants to kill you. 139 01:37:08,153 --> 01:37:13,489 - Your period starts in three, two, one. - What else? 140 01:37:13,692 --> 01:37:15,182 Cody, what else do you see? 141 01:37:15,394 --> 01:37:18,693 I see a little boy and a grown woman, but no father. 142 01:37:18,897 --> 01:37:21,923 - 0h, Cody. - I see you kneeling in dog shit. 143 01:37:22,134 --> 01:37:26,867 What? Ugh! 0h, for God's sake. 144 01:37:27,072 --> 01:37:28,539 Cody, don't you understand? 145 01:37:28,740 --> 01:37:31,641 As long as we have each other, that's all we need. 146 01:37:31,843 --> 01:37:34,437 Cody, know things have been tough for you since your mom died. 147 01:37:34,646 --> 01:37:38,707 God, have been so selfish. Always putting my career first. 148 01:37:38,917 --> 01:37:42,045 From now on I'm gonna be thinking about you 24/7... 149 01:37:42,988 --> 01:37:43,647 Damn! 150 01:37:45,090 --> 01:37:47,615 Aunt Cindy! Wait! 151 01:38:03,308 --> 01:38:06,505 Honey, I'm gonna be leaving soon, so... 152 01:38:19,891 --> 01:38:23,520 - Do you know who she is? - No. 153 01:38:23,728 --> 01:38:27,789 But sometimes she talks to me. She's coming tonight. 154 01:38:41,246 --> 01:38:43,874 - 0h, Father Muldoon. - Cindy. 155 01:38:44,082 --> 01:38:47,882 I'm so grateful you could come. I've called all over for baby sitters. 156 01:38:48,086 --> 01:38:53,114 I don't mind filling in now and then. Where is little Cody? 157 01:38:56,161 --> 01:38:58,459 I don't know. He must be back in his room, playing. 158 01:38:58,663 --> 01:39:01,359 Anyway, I left a number where I can be reached on the table. 159 01:39:01,700 --> 01:39:06,501 Also, he has a little rash on his behind. So make sure he takes a bath. 160 01:39:06,705 --> 01:39:09,037 Thank you, Father. Good night. 161 01:39:11,877 --> 01:39:13,242 Cody? 162 01:39:24,923 --> 01:39:27,448 Yeah. It's gettin' thick up in here. 163 01:39:27,659 --> 01:39:30,025 Hey, look, before we get on with the battles tonight... 164 01:39:30,228 --> 01:39:31,855 I got a couple announcements to make. 165 01:39:32,063 --> 01:39:35,226 I know y'all gonna wanna bust a cap in the air for your favorite rapper... 166 01:39:35,433 --> 01:39:40,530 but if you could please hold on to your gun fire until the end of the show. 167 01:39:41,439 --> 01:39:43,532 Now look, let's just put the safety on. 168 01:39:43,742 --> 01:39:46,609 It's on the left side of the gun above the trigger guard. 169 01:39:49,281 --> 01:39:52,114 Would somebody get his ass. Get his ass up out there! 170 01:39:52,317 --> 01:39:55,411 Alright. DJ, spin that shit. 171 01:40:16,041 --> 01:40:18,908 - Whoa! My bad. - Motha... 172 01:40:22,781 --> 01:40:25,773 Brenda, is something wrong? You look scared. 173 01:40:25,984 --> 01:40:28,817 I don't know. All that stuff you was saying on TV. 174 01:40:29,020 --> 01:40:31,955 I just got a weird feeling somethin' bad is headed my way. 175 01:40:32,157 --> 01:40:35,092 Like when you see a Asian person behind the wheel of a car. 176 01:40:35,427 --> 01:40:38,089 Cindy, after the show you think maybe you could... 177 01:40:38,296 --> 01:40:40,264 come back to my crib and hang out with me? 178 01:40:40,465 --> 01:40:43,662 - I don't wanna be alone. - 0h, of course I will, Brenda. 179 01:40:43,868 --> 01:40:48,237 0h, love you. Pay my way, okay? 180 01:40:48,440 --> 01:40:53,605 George! What's up? Man with the tightest rap game. 181 01:40:53,812 --> 01:40:57,043 What's up, bro? Huh? What's good? What's good with you, boy? 182 01:40:57,248 --> 01:41:00,911 Finally, the white man is gonna school the black man on how to rap. 183 01:41:01,720 --> 01:41:03,085 - Yeah, word. - Yeah, I guess. 184 01:41:03,288 --> 01:41:08,954 - How many people are here you think? - 200 whitey-hatin'chrome packin'... 185 01:41:09,160 --> 01:41:11,993 ready to bust a cap in any white boy's ass who ain't bringin' that shit. 186 01:41:12,530 --> 01:41:15,658 - Yeah. At least. - Word! What's wrong, George? 187 01:41:16,768 --> 01:41:19,100 You ever wonder when it's time to stop living up here... 188 01:41:19,304 --> 01:41:21,602 ...and start livin' down here? - No! 189 01:41:21,806 --> 01:41:24,673 0r what if we stop livin' over here and move over there? 190 01:41:24,876 --> 01:41:28,004 My aunt ShaNeequa used to live over there, man. But that bitch got evicted. 191 01:41:28,213 --> 01:41:30,545 - Word? What for? - Mice. 192 01:41:30,749 --> 01:41:34,048 - Mice? thought she had rats. - Rats are outside, mice are inside. 193 01:41:34,252 --> 01:41:36,117 But what if a mouse goes outside? Does it become a rat? 194 01:41:36,321 --> 01:41:37,982 If a rat is in the house, is it mouse? 195 01:41:38,189 --> 01:41:41,625 - I ain't never seen no mouse outside. - That's because it's a rat, fool! 196 01:41:41,826 --> 01:41:44,954 Damn! Yeah, you mighta just made fact just now. That's some real shit. 197 01:41:45,163 --> 01:41:48,929 - What are you guys talking about? - George, you need somethin'? 198 01:41:49,134 --> 01:41:52,968 'Cause will do anything for you. Anything. 199 01:41:54,406 --> 01:41:58,308 Well, about those, uh, chrome packin' whitey-hatin' gangsters, perhaps... 200 01:41:58,510 --> 01:42:00,307 - What he need is a hype man! - Word! 201 01:42:00,512 --> 01:42:03,481 - Yeah! There, come on! - You can be his Spliff Star. 202 01:42:03,682 --> 01:42:06,674 That's me, that's what do. That's my job, baby! 203 01:42:06,885 --> 01:42:09,820 You know it! Watch it! 204 01:42:10,021 --> 01:42:11,511 I'm cool, that's what I do. You got a hype man. 205 01:42:11,723 --> 01:42:13,748 You take them hits. Yeah, let's get out there, man. 206 01:42:14,059 --> 01:42:16,050 Heaven pray tell, what is it gonna be? 207 01:42:16,428 --> 01:42:18,396 You cannot escape your fake industry 208 01:42:18,730 --> 01:42:21,062 Okay? I count cash You count sheep 209 01:42:21,266 --> 01:42:23,496 You better not sleep when the beating complete 210 01:42:25,070 --> 01:42:28,062 All right. All right. That was hot! That's what I'm talkin' about! 211 01:42:28,273 --> 01:42:32,972 That was hot, right? Right? What do you think? 212 01:42:34,446 --> 01:42:36,744 I thought you were both absolutely dreadful. 213 01:42:37,882 --> 01:42:39,577 - Ghastly. - What? 214 01:42:39,918 --> 01:42:44,582 I don't know what I'm doing here. This club is totally pathetic. 215 01:42:53,998 --> 01:42:57,331 - Everybody put your hands - This is it. You ready, George? 216 01:42:57,535 --> 01:42:58,900 - It' showtime. - 0kay. 217 01:42:59,104 --> 01:43:00,093 I just wanna let you know, man that... 218 01:43:00,305 --> 01:43:03,433 no matter what goes on that stage tonight... 219 01:43:04,375 --> 01:43:07,401 ...you're gonna always be in my heart. - 0h, that's love right there. 220 01:43:07,612 --> 01:43:09,978 - I love you. - That's what I'm talkin' about. 221 01:43:13,017 --> 01:43:14,314 - I love you, man. - That's what I'm talking about. 222 01:43:14,519 --> 01:43:17,682 - Can you feel my love in your ear? - Come here you guys. 223 01:43:17,889 --> 01:43:19,254 - All right! - I can't get around! 224 01:43:19,724 --> 01:43:23,387 - Come on, dog. - You do good tonight, all right? 225 01:43:24,095 --> 01:43:26,620 0kay, you do that thing out there tonight. 0kay, cool. 226 01:43:26,831 --> 01:43:28,662 - We love each other. - All right, all right. 227 01:43:28,867 --> 01:43:31,335 - I'm gonna go bring you on. - Let's do it, baby! We hyped! 228 01:43:32,437 --> 01:43:34,837 Y'all ready for the next throw down? 229 01:43:36,274 --> 01:43:41,837 To my left we have the champion hailing from Fort Apache in the Bronx. 230 01:43:42,046 --> 01:43:44,037 - BS! - Some of y'all call him... 231 01:43:44,249 --> 01:43:48,777 "Jealous 0ne Still Envy." Some of y'all call him the "Don Cartagena"! 232 01:43:48,987 --> 01:43:51,751 - Some of y'all call him "Joey Crack". - Stick 'em up! 233 01:43:51,956 --> 01:43:55,619 But tonight, let's give it up for Fat Joe. 234 01:43:58,062 --> 01:44:01,122 - I gotta go against him? - Give it up! Give it up! 235 01:44:01,332 --> 01:44:03,163 What, you think they're here to see Fat Joe? 236 01:44:03,368 --> 01:44:07,429 - Joe! Joe! Joe! - No, they're sayin': "Go! Go! Go!" 237 01:44:08,873 --> 01:44:11,535 Now our challenger. 238 01:44:11,743 --> 01:44:16,203 The kid is a farmer rapper, so you know he been kickin' the shit all day! 239 01:44:16,414 --> 01:44:18,541 Let's give it up for my man George! 240 01:44:19,284 --> 01:44:25,519 - Come on, everybody. - That's right! 241 01:44:25,723 --> 01:44:30,057 Joey Crack, you the reigning champion, so you get to speak first. 242 01:44:30,261 --> 01:44:31,853 DJ, spin that shit! 243 01:44:34,432 --> 01:44:36,024 This guy can't be serious right here. 244 01:44:36,367 --> 01:44:40,030 Standin' Miny Me aka hope he ain't the one you fight with. 245 01:44:40,305 --> 01:44:43,172 Hey, yo, the kid got my corn and he ain't got no skills 246 01:44:43,374 --> 01:44:45,899 - 'Cause he's all right - But he's not real 247 01:44:46,110 --> 01:44:48,271 Don't mean to hurt yo' feelings But you'll never get a deal 248 01:44:48,479 --> 01:44:50,913 Because he's all right but he's not real 249 01:44:51,115 --> 01:44:53,879 You're a needle in the haystack I'm the Don, a city slicker 250 01:44:54,085 --> 01:44:56,212 Forget cows and milk yo' mom's titty 251 01:44:56,754 --> 01:45:02,590 Let his niggah end up having kids with his cousin! Has he started? 252 01:45:02,794 --> 01:45:06,924 His number one fan be like That mean Fat Joe's the man! 253 01:45:07,131 --> 01:45:11,830 You're a liar in denial! Kill yo' ass quicker than died in that fire! 254 01:45:12,237 --> 01:45:14,000 How dare you wanna jous with me? 255 01:45:14,272 --> 01:45:16,763 Lookin' like you down to solve the mad cow disease 256 01:45:16,975 --> 01:45:23,346 Out to battle me Eight miles down the road 257 01:45:24,249 --> 01:45:25,375 0kay, let's go! Wait a minute! 258 01:45:28,019 --> 01:45:31,455 Alright, that was hot. That was tight, Fat Joe. 259 01:45:31,656 --> 01:45:36,753 Now everybody, give it up for my man, George! 260 01:45:36,961 --> 01:45:40,692 DJ, spin that shit! Pitch. 261 01:45:40,899 --> 01:45:43,129 Go, go, everybody! 262 01:45:46,471 --> 01:45:48,632 Bitch! 263 01:45:48,840 --> 01:45:49,829 Ho! 264 01:46:01,052 --> 01:46:05,921 Now everybody in the throw your hands in the air. Fat Joe is through 265 01:46:06,557 --> 01:46:09,219 Everybody in the throw 'em up 266 01:46:09,727 --> 01:46:11,558 Check it out. 267 01:46:11,763 --> 01:46:16,666 I'm a white boy, but my neck is red put Miracle Whip on Wonder bread 268 01:46:17,168 --> 01:46:19,693 My face is pale, nah never been in jail 269 01:46:19,904 --> 01:46:21,895 Me and Buffy spend every winter in vail 270 01:46:22,106 --> 01:46:24,836 How many bitches have I slapped? Zero 271 01:46:25,043 --> 01:46:27,603 And Martha Stewart happened to be my hero 272 01:46:27,812 --> 01:46:30,542 I grew up on a farm and was born with no rhythm 273 01:46:30,748 --> 01:46:33,273 Doctor Phil's my uncle and like to hang with him 274 01:46:33,484 --> 01:46:35,975 I can't dance wear khaki pants 275 01:46:36,187 --> 01:46:38,485 My middle name's Lance My grandma's from France 276 01:46:38,690 --> 01:46:41,215 So maybe I'm whack 'cause my skin ain't black 277 01:46:41,426 --> 01:46:43,519 But you can't talk smack 'cause whitey just struck back! 278 01:46:50,468 --> 01:46:51,628 What you talking about? 279 01:46:53,504 --> 01:46:55,563 Give it up for George! 280 01:46:56,341 --> 01:46:58,809 Yeah! That's my boy right there! 281 01:46:59,010 --> 01:47:00,307 0h, shit. 0oh! 282 01:47:04,983 --> 01:47:08,282 George! George! The hood! Lose the hood! 283 01:47:08,486 --> 01:47:10,852 - I know. We're in the hood now! - No, man! 284 01:47:11,322 --> 01:47:15,053 - He's a dead man. - You guys feelin' me in the hood? 285 01:47:22,967 --> 01:47:24,901 That's it. I'm done. 286 01:47:25,103 --> 01:47:26,900 0h, man, you can't give up rap just like that. 287 01:47:27,105 --> 01:47:28,697 Rap shma. 288 01:47:28,906 --> 01:47:31,374 But look, you still got it! See? 289 01:47:32,744 --> 01:47:37,408 Thanks for comin' over tonight. I'm just going through a rough time. 290 01:47:37,682 --> 01:47:40,981 Brenda, you wanna tell me what's really bothering you? 291 01:47:43,888 --> 01:47:47,847 Well, there's something I need to... I saw a tape. 292 01:47:48,459 --> 01:47:53,487 I think. you should know about it. It had these really shocking images. 293 01:47:53,698 --> 01:47:59,330 Brenda, it was Mardi Gras. I never drank vodka before. 294 01:47:59,537 --> 01:48:03,667 No, not that tape, Cindy. Well, I guess it's just an urban legend. 295 01:48:04,075 --> 01:48:08,910 You watch it, and as soon as it's over, your phone rings, and a... 296 01:48:09,113 --> 01:48:12,048 creepy voice says: "You're gonna die in seven days." 297 01:48:13,251 --> 01:48:15,776 Then seven days later... 298 01:48:16,120 --> 01:48:19,214 - When did you watch it? - A week ago. 299 01:48:19,424 --> 01:48:22,791 - A week ago tonight. - Brenda... 300 01:48:27,465 --> 01:48:29,262 0h, my God! 301 01:48:30,668 --> 01:48:35,128 Brenda! Brenda! 0h, my God! 302 01:48:39,577 --> 01:48:42,375 - 0h! 0h, my God, you bitch! - Ketchup! 303 01:48:43,314 --> 01:48:45,373 You should have seen the look on your face! 304 01:48:47,518 --> 01:48:49,748 And you got me! 305 01:48:51,489 --> 01:48:53,957 Brenda? Brenda? 306 01:48:54,225 --> 01:48:55,749 0h, my God, Brenda! 307 01:49:06,170 --> 01:49:08,638 I can't believe you fell for that fake seizure! 308 01:49:08,840 --> 01:49:10,933 - But it seemed so real! - It did, didn't it? 309 01:49:11,242 --> 01:49:14,973 - And you peed. - Yeah! really sold that shit, didn't I? 310 01:49:16,347 --> 01:49:20,841 I just love the look on your face when you are scared! 311 01:49:28,860 --> 01:49:32,352 And I got you with the old fake hand! 312 01:49:34,232 --> 01:49:36,757 - 0ooh! Girl, you were scared! - Well, I know! 313 01:49:36,968 --> 01:49:40,927 - 0h, come on, I was just kidding. - You've taken it too far, Brenda. 314 01:49:41,139 --> 01:49:43,130 I'm gonna go get the rest of the popcorn. 315 01:49:50,615 --> 01:49:54,210 - Cindy! - Forget it, I am not falling for it again. 316 01:50:11,636 --> 01:50:15,504 0h, come on. Cindy, the news is on! 317 01:50:15,907 --> 01:50:18,603 Another little white girl fell down the well! 318 01:50:18,809 --> 01:50:21,334 50 black people get their ass beat by police today... 319 01:50:21,546 --> 01:50:24,538 but the whole world gotta stop for one little whitey down the hole! 320 01:50:29,954 --> 01:50:31,819 Cindy! 321 01:50:33,791 --> 01:50:36,282 The TV is leaking! 322 01:50:37,795 --> 01:50:41,060 Cindy! Cindy, something's wrong here! 323 01:50:57,081 --> 01:50:59,777 Cindy, this bitch is messin' up my floor! 324 01:51:04,488 --> 01:51:07,582 - Cindy! Help me! - I'm not listening. 325 01:51:10,494 --> 01:51:13,622 Get up, you little ugly bitch! Come on! Let me see what you got! 326 01:51:13,831 --> 01:51:16,698 What you gonna do? That's all? 327 01:51:21,105 --> 01:51:24,131 I'm whuppin' her ass, Cindy! What's up? 328 01:51:38,222 --> 01:51:42,522 Cindy? Please help me! Cindy! 329 01:51:43,060 --> 01:51:45,494 0kay, hang on a second. 330 01:51:45,696 --> 01:51:47,027 - Hello. - Father Muldoon here. 331 01:51:47,231 --> 01:51:50,997 - We're gettin' along famously. - Thanks again, Father. Buh-bye. 332 01:51:51,202 --> 01:51:55,366 Brenda? Brenda? 333 01:51:57,875 --> 01:51:59,604 Brenda? 334 01:52:12,657 --> 01:52:16,718 0h my God. Yes, of course I'll tell him. Thank You. 335 01:52:18,896 --> 01:52:22,696 Sue's teacher, Brenda... she's dead. 336 01:52:24,669 --> 01:52:27,536 - I better tell her. - No. I can do it. 337 01:52:33,544 --> 01:52:35,341 - Sue... - Yes. 338 01:52:36,781 --> 01:52:39,648 - You know your teacher, Miss Brenda? - Yeah. 339 01:52:39,917 --> 01:52:41,885 She's dead! 340 01:52:42,153 --> 01:52:45,554 Gone forever! Died a horrible, painful death! 341 01:52:45,990 --> 01:52:49,653 - Gone, gone, just like your dog! - My dog's dead?! 342 01:52:49,860 --> 01:52:53,296 I just ran him over with the car when I drove in. 343 01:52:53,497 --> 01:52:55,965 Everyone you love is dying. 344 01:53:05,476 --> 01:53:09,207 - Hello, Father. - Don't call me Father. 345 01:53:09,413 --> 01:53:12,405 I haven't been a clergyman since... 346 01:53:14,452 --> 01:53:17,319 I'm sorry about that night. 347 01:53:17,521 --> 01:53:21,218 If I hadn't fallen asleep while driving for that exact 20 minutes... 348 01:53:21,959 --> 01:53:25,326 if hadn't drank that exact whole bottle of Jaegermeister... 349 01:53:25,663 --> 01:53:29,531 ...if only I hadn't killed that hooker... - Sayaman! Sayaman! 350 01:53:30,434 --> 01:53:32,595 I don't see what any of this has to do with Annie. 351 01:53:33,037 --> 01:53:37,906 I'm sorry. Those were other nights. But if it had been that night... 352 01:53:38,376 --> 01:53:42,039 I might have missed her. That terrible night... 353 01:54:02,833 --> 01:54:06,394 - It's your wife, Father. She's hurt. - Annie? 354 01:54:06,604 --> 01:54:09,038 She was hit by a truck and she's pinned against a tree. 355 01:54:09,774 --> 01:54:13,335 - I don't understand. - As long as the truck has har pinned... 356 01:54:13,544 --> 01:54:16,570 ...she'll stay alive. - I still don't get it. 357 01:54:20,851 --> 01:54:24,082 This is your wife. 358 01:54:25,990 --> 01:54:28,458 She broke her wiener? 359 01:54:30,294 --> 01:54:32,489 Look what happens to the taco. 360 01:54:34,532 --> 01:54:38,559 I don't understand all this fancy medical lingo. I wanna see Annie. 361 01:54:40,504 --> 01:54:47,171 - She's split in half. - Down the middle in half? 362 01:54:47,578 --> 01:54:51,446 - At the waist. - This is the last time I can talk... 363 01:54:51,649 --> 01:54:57,679 ...to the top half? - Yes. The truck is holding her together. 364 01:54:58,522 --> 01:55:03,755 Let's say this is her bottom half. Can I squeeze in a few minutes with that? 365 01:55:05,062 --> 01:55:09,089 - I'm not sure what you mean. - Let me explain. 366 01:55:09,300 --> 01:55:12,895 Tom. Go to her. 367 01:55:20,611 --> 01:55:22,875 Tom, I'll need a ride home. 368 01:55:26,684 --> 01:55:28,584 - Hey, baby... - Tom... 369 01:55:28,786 --> 01:55:32,222 - How's it goin'? - 0h, I'm dying, Tom. 370 01:55:32,556 --> 01:55:36,822 Don't talk like that. The truck barely hit you. 371 01:55:38,596 --> 01:55:41,827 Honey, kiss me one last time. 372 01:55:44,902 --> 01:55:47,666 Promise me you'll never remarry. 373 01:55:47,872 --> 01:55:49,169 I promise. 374 01:55:50,341 --> 01:55:53,037 And no sex, either. 375 01:55:53,244 --> 01:55:56,839 - I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. - No sex. 376 01:55:57,481 --> 01:56:01,042 Honey, you're not speaking clearly. Your injuries must be awful. 377 01:56:01,252 --> 01:56:04,653 Cruel fate. to shroud my wife's dying words in mystery. 378 01:56:04,855 --> 01:56:07,756 - No sex. - We hardly knew her. 379 01:56:08,292 --> 01:56:10,385 - She'll be missed terribly. - 0h, Jesus. 380 01:56:10,594 --> 01:56:12,994 - That's right, honey, go into the light. - Look! 381 01:56:13,731 --> 01:56:18,168 - Just tell George to swing away. - Right. Swing away. 382 01:56:18,636 --> 01:56:21,264 0h, sure. That, you understand. 383 01:56:23,107 --> 01:56:25,598 Annie! Annie! 384 01:56:27,545 --> 01:56:30,912 - I'm sorry, dude. - Don't call me dude. 385 01:56:31,115 --> 01:56:34,414 I'm not a stoner anymore. Not since... 386 01:56:35,786 --> 01:56:38,414 Good-bye, Tom. 387 01:56:53,671 --> 01:56:56,265 I'm so sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Meeks. 388 01:56:56,473 --> 01:56:58,907 Brenda was a good friend, when she was alive. 389 01:56:59,109 --> 01:57:03,205 My sweet, sweet Brenda. She looks so peaceful. 390 01:57:08,352 --> 01:57:11,412 If only God had taken us instead of our daughter. 391 01:57:11,755 --> 01:57:15,316 And knowing your Brenda like I did, I'd say she wishes the same thing. 392 01:57:18,095 --> 01:57:22,794 These just came today. Photos from a trip she took. 393 01:57:26,270 --> 01:57:28,568 - They're blank. - Turn them around, honey. 394 01:57:31,208 --> 01:57:32,505 0h. Yes, of course. 395 01:57:33,277 --> 01:57:37,509 - Who is this? - Ralph. He's right over there. 396 01:57:43,887 --> 01:57:45,821 - Cody? - It's a boy. 397 01:57:46,023 --> 01:57:47,854 He's going to be an asshole. 398 01:57:48,692 --> 01:57:51,855 Smoke all you want. You're gonna get hit by a bus. 399 01:57:52,429 --> 01:57:54,989 That's not fooling anyone. 400 01:57:57,034 --> 01:57:58,501 - Cindy! - George! 401 01:57:58,702 --> 01:58:03,264 Sue wanted to pay her respects to her teacher. 402 01:58:04,174 --> 01:58:06,472 - Brenda was my bitch. - 0f course. 403 01:58:09,913 --> 01:58:13,314 - Are you okay? - It's just the open coffin. 404 01:58:13,784 --> 01:58:15,479 I can't believe they'd just leave it out here like this. 405 01:58:15,686 --> 01:58:19,782 - George, it's a wake. - Awake?! Brenda! It's a miracle. 406 01:58:19,990 --> 01:58:23,221 I thought you were dead! Sue, your teacher's alive. 407 01:58:23,427 --> 01:58:26,954 - Hello? - I got your back, George! got your back! 408 01:58:28,399 --> 01:58:31,391 - She's alive! - Let me tell you... 409 01:58:34,171 --> 01:58:37,197 - She's alive! Brenda! Hello? - She's dead. 410 01:58:37,408 --> 01:58:39,399 We won't lose you again! 411 01:58:41,445 --> 01:58:43,345 Nothing! 412 01:58:46,150 --> 01:58:48,084 - She's not breathing. - No! 413 01:58:48,819 --> 01:58:53,518 Don't worry. Live! Damn it! Live! Damn it, live! 414 01:58:58,862 --> 01:59:01,558 Don't stop. 415 01:59:04,568 --> 01:59:08,504 - What are they doing? - She's alive. 416 01:59:08,706 --> 01:59:12,369 She's alive, she's alive. Wake up! That's my baby! 417 01:59:24,722 --> 01:59:27,384 Clear! 418 01:59:32,262 --> 01:59:33,354 Got something! Got something! 419 01:59:41,705 --> 01:59:42,967 - That's it. - George. 420 01:59:43,173 --> 01:59:45,937 That's the last time I try to bring anyone back from the dead. 421 01:59:46,143 --> 01:59:48,077 Don't get down on yourself. 422 01:59:48,278 --> 01:59:51,805 I know you were only trying to help. You're a good and caring person. 423 01:59:53,350 --> 01:59:55,511 Which is why I like you. 424 01:59:55,719 --> 01:59:58,950 Thanks, Cindy, but I don't want to screw your life up, too. 425 01:59:59,156 --> 02:00:02,489 The most caring thing I could do for everyone is to just get out of here. 426 02:00:02,693 --> 02:00:06,322 George! What about Sue? 427 02:00:06,897 --> 02:00:11,459 - Yes. 0f course. 0nce I get Sue, then... - Wait! 428 02:00:14,037 --> 02:00:17,336 I could really use a friend right now. 429 02:00:19,710 --> 02:00:22,941 Brenda's gone, Cody resents me... 430 02:00:24,081 --> 02:00:27,482 and I'm caught up in something I can't even... 431 02:00:27,684 --> 02:00:31,745 - 0h, God, it's so hard. - Well, you're beautiful... 432 02:00:31,955 --> 02:00:34,150 and you're pressing up against me. 433 02:00:35,492 --> 02:00:37,483 Look, Cindy... 434 02:00:37,961 --> 02:00:42,125 I know you'd never consider going out with a guy like me, but... 435 02:00:42,599 --> 02:00:45,966 if you're not too busy tomorrow night... 436 02:00:47,638 --> 02:00:50,732 - Is that a yes? - Yes. 437 02:00:56,346 --> 02:01:00,077 Cindy, did Brenda ever talk to you about a tape? 438 02:01:00,284 --> 02:01:04,220 She did mention something. Do you mind if I go upstairs and look around? 439 02:01:04,555 --> 02:01:06,580 Yes, go. 0f course. Go. 440 02:01:07,090 --> 02:01:09,581 Cody, I'll be right back, okay? 441 02:01:10,060 --> 02:01:14,463 You're getting lucky tonight. He doesn't know you're a guy. 442 02:02:13,824 --> 02:02:16,224 0h, shit. 443 02:02:55,365 --> 02:02:58,266 - Hello? ...days. 444 02:02:58,468 --> 02:03:02,165 - What? Willie Mays? ...even days. 445 02:03:02,372 --> 02:03:06,035 - Who's gay? Hello? ...ear me now? 446 02:03:06,243 --> 02:03:08,677 - What? - Can you... ear... e... now? 447 02:03:08,879 --> 02:03:10,676 - Kind of. - Can you hear me now? 448 02:03:10,881 --> 02:03:13,179 - Yes. Perfect. - Seven days. 449 02:03:13,383 --> 02:03:16,750 Seven days? 0h, my God. I'm gonna die next Monday? 450 02:03:16,954 --> 02:03:20,253 Yes. No, wait. Monday? That would be seven business days. 451 02:03:20,457 --> 02:03:22,425 This is seven days starting now. 452 02:03:22,626 --> 02:03:25,288 Seven days to this very hour? My watch broke. 453 02:03:25,495 --> 02:03:26,985 How will I know the exact hour? 454 02:03:27,197 --> 02:03:29,324 Forget hours. This day, seven days from now. 455 02:03:29,533 --> 02:03:31,763 But there's a holiday coming up. Do you count the holiday as a day? 456 02:03:31,969 --> 02:03:33,994 Well, that depends. What holiday? 457 02:03:34,204 --> 02:03:36,138 - Martin Luther King day. - Then no. 458 02:03:36,340 --> 02:03:38,535 Why not? Everybody at work is taking it off. 459 02:03:38,742 --> 02:03:40,733 Jesus Christ, I'm giving you seven freaking days. 460 02:03:40,944 --> 02:03:44,175 I can come over now and kill you if you'd rather have that... 461 02:03:48,251 --> 02:03:51,914 I don't care what you say. I'm signing you up for another rap battle. 462 02:03:52,122 --> 02:03:55,455 - That part of my life is over. - I said the same thing about... 463 02:03:55,659 --> 02:04:00,995 ...CJ's sister and I'm still hitting that. - She fine as shit! That's my sister! 464 02:04:01,198 --> 02:04:03,098 - What? - It doesn't matter. I'm done. 465 02:04:03,300 --> 02:04:05,632 - What will you do with your life? - I don't know. 466 02:04:08,372 --> 02:04:10,499 Yeah, yeah! 0h, come on! 467 02:04:10,941 --> 02:04:13,501 Maybe my brother was right. Maybe I should just settle down. 468 02:04:16,380 --> 02:04:18,348 - Motha... - I got another one, y'all! 469 02:04:18,548 --> 02:04:22,541 Yo, George, man... you can't focus on that shit, man. Let that go. 470 02:04:24,855 --> 02:04:27,119 Hey, you wanna try this shit, George? 471 02:04:31,361 --> 02:04:34,091 - You gotta take the lid off! - 0h, yeah, of course. 472 02:04:34,297 --> 02:04:36,288 Sorry! 473 02:04:37,501 --> 02:04:39,696 - Hello? - Something terrible's happened! 474 02:04:39,903 --> 02:04:40,733 I really need help! 475 02:04:42,906 --> 02:04:46,603 - Are you okay? What's going on? - George, you have to help me. 476 02:04:46,810 --> 02:04:49,176 I just watched this tape, the same tape that killed Brenda... 477 02:04:49,379 --> 02:04:52,075 then the phone rang and this voice said that I was gonna die in seven days. 478 02:04:52,816 --> 02:04:54,147 Cindy, there's no such thing... 479 02:04:54,351 --> 02:04:56,911 ...as a killer videotape. - Yeah, there is! 480 02:04:57,120 --> 02:04:59,748 - I know somebody who could help you. - You do? Who? 481 02:04:59,956 --> 02:05:03,414 Wait up, man. I heard Jamal from 90th ST he watched that tape last week. 482 02:05:03,627 --> 02:05:06,596 - And this morning, he woke up dead. - How do you wake up dead? 483 02:05:06,797 --> 02:05:09,231 - You're alive when you go to sleep. - Who can help me? 484 02:05:09,433 --> 02:05:10,923 Can you go to bed dead... 485 02:05:11,134 --> 02:05:13,102 ...and wake up alive? - You can't go to bed, dead, man! 486 02:05:13,303 --> 02:05:15,771 - That shit would be redundant! - Just tell me who! 487 02:05:15,972 --> 02:05:19,499 You can go to bed and not be dead, and you can die, but not be in a bed. 488 02:05:19,709 --> 02:05:23,440 But you are in a bed, that's how you wake up dead in the first place, fool! 489 02:05:23,647 --> 02:05:28,607 That's some quantum shit right there, man. You should be teaching classes! 490 02:05:28,819 --> 02:05:30,810 - Just tell me who can help me! - Damn! 491 02:05:31,021 --> 02:05:33,854 My aunt ShaNeequa! Her and her man are into this weird shit! 492 02:05:34,057 --> 02:05:36,048 They saw the tape before anybody. 493 02:05:36,259 --> 02:05:39,387 - You should go see them tonight. - Tonight? 494 02:05:39,596 --> 02:05:41,928 But who will take care of Cody? 495 02:05:43,467 --> 02:05:46,595 We're gonna have so much fun! I have jigsaw puzzles... 496 02:05:46,803 --> 02:05:50,796 board games and baseball cards. And this really cool model airplane. 497 02:05:51,007 --> 02:05:52,406 - I'm gonna go get it. - Sure. 498 02:05:52,609 --> 02:05:55,737 I made him a snack and you can give him some milk if he can't sleep. 499 02:05:55,946 --> 02:05:58,346 - Don't worry, everything will be fine. - Here it is! 500 02:05:58,548 --> 02:06:00,846 I'm great with kids. Heads up, Cody! 501 02:06:03,420 --> 02:06:05,786 - And in case of emergencies... - I'm okay. 502 02:06:07,023 --> 02:06:10,823 I'm sorry. You okay, kiddo? Thatta boy. 503 02:06:16,967 --> 02:06:19,197 - 0kay, I'm off. - Right. 504 02:06:19,603 --> 02:06:24,666 You know, it's funny. All a child ever really wants is a family. 505 02:06:25,208 --> 02:06:28,405 - I know. - Cody really likes you. 506 02:06:28,612 --> 02:06:31,103 0h, he's a good kid. 507 02:06:33,917 --> 02:06:35,544 - Bye. - Bye. 508 02:06:51,668 --> 02:06:55,695 - Hello? - I know. You're Cindy. 509 02:06:55,906 --> 02:06:58,966 - Be right with you. - Aunt ShaNeequa? 510 02:06:59,609 --> 02:07:05,047 Bingo. But you can call me The 0racle. And don't worry about that vase. 511 02:07:05,248 --> 02:07:08,081 What vase? 0h, sorry. I didn't know. 512 02:07:10,687 --> 02:07:12,985 That vase. 513 02:07:13,456 --> 02:07:16,448 Please, sit. 514 02:07:20,564 --> 02:07:22,930 It was the chair. 515 02:07:29,239 --> 02:07:33,642 Yes, the chair. I know why you've come. 516 02:07:34,544 --> 02:07:38,708 A great mystery lies ahead, but you must not shy away from the challenge. 517 02:07:39,482 --> 02:07:41,575 0nly you can be the one who will... 518 02:07:43,553 --> 02:07:44,850 - 0rpheus. - What, baby? 519 02:07:45,055 --> 02:07:46,886 Sweetie? 520 02:07:47,190 --> 02:07:49,351 I'm watching the game. 521 02:07:50,393 --> 02:07:52,588 Do you mind? 522 02:07:54,164 --> 02:07:56,928 The Lakers will win by 12. 523 02:07:58,501 --> 02:08:00,560 - So can you tell me about... - The tape? 524 02:08:01,271 --> 02:08:03,967 - Yes. I watched it and then... - The phone rang. 525 02:08:05,041 --> 02:08:08,568 - Right. And then this voice said... - That you would die in seven days. 526 02:08:08,778 --> 02:08:11,076 - 0kay, that's getting... - Extremely annoying. 527 02:08:11,281 --> 02:08:13,806 - Yeah. - Try being married to her. 528 02:08:14,017 --> 02:08:16,747 I catch shit about women I ain't slept with yet. 529 02:08:18,922 --> 02:08:20,787 You made a copy of the tape. Let's see it. 530 02:08:20,991 --> 02:08:22,652 Yes, okay. 531 02:08:29,199 --> 02:08:31,531 - Can you tell me if... - The tape is connected to the... 532 02:08:31,735 --> 02:08:35,364 crop circles and the aliens? Yes. But it's up to you... 533 02:08:35,572 --> 02:08:37,733 to discover how for yourself. 534 02:08:38,808 --> 02:08:40,901 - Look, it's a... - Cigarette. 535 02:08:41,811 --> 02:08:44,575 I was going to say lighthouse. 536 02:08:45,248 --> 02:08:48,240 Find that lighthouse. It's your destiny. 537 02:08:50,587 --> 02:08:53,351 Wait. What is that? 538 02:08:57,861 --> 02:09:00,455 0h, my God. 539 02:09:18,548 --> 02:09:20,516 There we go. 540 02:09:22,285 --> 02:09:23,843 Baby... 541 02:09:24,587 --> 02:09:28,182 - I knew that was gonna happen. - Uh-oh. Come on. 542 02:09:31,027 --> 02:09:33,962 0h, hell no! Get your ass out of that TV! 543 02:09:34,164 --> 02:09:38,362 What's wrong with you? I'm gonna teach you something! Get out that TV! 544 02:09:38,568 --> 02:09:43,596 Baby, no! No! Let her go! We gonna get another lawsuit! Come on! 545 02:09:43,807 --> 02:09:45,172 She spit on me! I'ma kill the bitch! 546 02:09:45,608 --> 02:09:48,771 That's it! You won! You won! 547 02:09:49,012 --> 02:09:52,038 You won. Upstairs. Down low. 548 02:09:52,449 --> 02:09:54,314 - All right? Baby, no! - Kill her! 549 02:09:54,517 --> 02:09:56,781 - Is you crazy? - Baby! 550 02:09:57,854 --> 02:10:00,755 What you gonna brush now? What you gonna brush now? 551 02:10:01,825 --> 02:10:04,157 Get back! You picked the wrong TV to come out of! 552 02:10:09,833 --> 02:10:12,495 George? Cody? 553 02:10:15,205 --> 02:10:17,105 George? 554 02:10:17,807 --> 02:10:20,708 - What happened? - I don't know. 555 02:10:20,910 --> 02:10:24,402 Cody and I were playing a fun game, and then I looked down and... 556 02:10:25,315 --> 02:10:27,306 Yahtzee! 557 02:10:33,490 --> 02:10:35,720 No! 558 02:10:36,626 --> 02:10:39,891 0h, my God! How could you let him watch the tape? 559 02:10:40,096 --> 02:10:41,563 I didn't... 560 02:10:49,806 --> 02:10:53,503 - Hello? - It's me. How ya doing? 561 02:10:53,710 --> 02:10:56,144 - Fine. - Enjoying your last week? 562 02:10:56,346 --> 02:10:59,440 I can't wait to see you. six days now, right? 563 02:10:59,649 --> 02:11:01,276 - Yeah. - Wait, It was great cathing up. 564 02:11:01,484 --> 02:11:02,951 Can I speak to Cody? 565 02:11:03,153 --> 02:11:06,953 - Why? He didn't watch the tape. - Yes, he did. 566 02:11:07,157 --> 02:11:09,557 - Come on, I do this for a living. - Leave us alone! 567 02:11:15,498 --> 02:11:18,296 - Hello? - I'm calling from Readers Digest... 568 02:11:18,501 --> 02:11:20,969 with a fantastic offer for Cody. 569 02:11:21,771 --> 02:11:24,467 No, you're not! You're that evil little girl from the tape! 570 02:11:25,308 --> 02:11:28,141 Can I just leave a message for him? 571 02:11:28,344 --> 02:11:30,107 Fine Yeah. 572 02:11:34,551 --> 02:11:40,547 0kay. How do you spell that? Right. 0kay, got it. Bye. 573 02:11:46,729 --> 02:11:50,062 - I can't believe you let that happen. - I know. I'm sorry, I screwed up. 574 02:11:50,266 --> 02:11:53,258 Listen, we can still save him! The answer to the tape, to your... 575 02:11:53,470 --> 02:11:57,338 crop circles, it's at a lighthouse. You think I'm crazy, don't you? 576 02:11:57,540 --> 02:12:01,704 0h, of course I do but the last thing you need now is a screw up like me. 577 02:12:01,911 --> 02:12:05,108 - I'm gonna leave, for good. - Wait. 578 02:12:08,017 --> 02:12:11,475 - What should I tell Cody? - Let him down easy. 579 02:12:11,688 --> 02:12:15,249 Tell him I got called away on business. You'll think of something. 580 02:12:15,458 --> 02:12:17,858 Testicular cancer. He won't ask questions. 581 02:12:18,361 --> 02:12:24,698 - I knew you'd understand. - George! Be careful. 582 02:12:24,901 --> 02:12:27,199 Something weird is going on at your farm, I know it. 583 02:12:27,403 --> 02:12:28,631 I don't know what you are talking about. 584 02:12:28,838 --> 02:12:30,931 Sometimes a sheep just needs to be pushed through the fence. 585 02:12:31,140 --> 02:12:32,937 - What? - Good-bye, Cindy. 586 02:12:58,268 --> 02:13:00,566 - Sue? - I can't sleep. 587 02:13:01,371 --> 02:13:04,340 Well, it's way past your bedtime. 588 02:13:06,543 --> 02:13:10,775 Would you rock me to sleep in your big, strong arms? 589 02:13:12,482 --> 02:13:17,010 There's plenty of room under the covers. It's a hot night. 590 02:13:17,654 --> 02:13:20,282 You don't need to wear pajamas. 591 02:13:21,524 --> 02:13:25,085 - Where is my daughter? - Are you mad? I am your daughter. 592 02:13:25,295 --> 02:13:26,853 No, you're not! 593 02:13:29,365 --> 02:13:30,889 Come here! 594 02:13:31,100 --> 02:13:33,591 - What did you do with Sue? - I didn't touch her, I swear. 595 02:13:33,803 --> 02:13:36,294 - I don't believe you! - Please, for God's sake! 596 02:13:36,506 --> 02:13:38,531 - She's a girl! - You sick... 597 02:13:59,696 --> 02:14:01,095 Daddy? 598 02:14:01,598 --> 02:14:04,567 How do you like it? Having fun? 599 02:14:21,951 --> 02:14:24,283 Tom! Are you... 600 02:14:25,588 --> 02:14:28,523 What in the world? 601 02:14:30,226 --> 02:14:31,853 Look! 602 02:14:32,061 --> 02:14:35,827 - What is that thing? - I don't know. 603 02:14:36,332 --> 02:14:38,823 Maybe Cindy was right. 604 02:14:54,417 --> 02:14:59,411 - Please, all I need is 5 minutes. - I told you, no more paranoid on air... 605 02:14:59,622 --> 02:15:02,716 ...rants about the supernatural. - I know. 606 02:15:02,925 --> 02:15:05,189 This station is about sex, violence and the weather. 607 02:15:05,395 --> 02:15:08,558 That reminds me. We're gonna need that porn star shot dead... 608 02:15:08,765 --> 02:15:11,461 in a hurricane story. 0ne hour. 609 02:15:11,668 --> 02:15:15,604 Meanwhile, a tornado in Charleston threatens a clothing optional beach... 610 02:15:15,805 --> 02:15:18,968 where, just yesterday a naked couple was brutally murdered. 611 02:15:20,243 --> 02:15:22,734 I'm sorry, but I have to do this! 612 02:15:23,312 --> 02:15:24,677 Turning now to sports. 613 02:15:25,548 --> 02:15:30,417 An evil videotape that kills anyone who watches it, in seven days... 614 02:15:30,787 --> 02:15:33,984 - It's true, we're all in danger. - 0h, no! 615 02:15:34,657 --> 02:15:36,989 That's trying to prevent you from knowing the truth. 616 02:15:37,193 --> 02:15:39,354 Campbell, are you insane? 617 02:15:39,562 --> 02:15:42,588 - Carson, I have to do this. - Correction, there is no danger. 618 02:15:42,799 --> 02:15:45,495 Actually, I didn't really mean anything I just said. 619 02:15:46,135 --> 02:15:50,731 Yes, I did. Every word of it. Everyone watching this could be dead in a week. 620 02:15:50,940 --> 02:15:53,568 "0h shizzle gizingar butta-gutta-gutta... 621 02:15:53,776 --> 02:15:58,577 gutta-gutta-gutta-gutta basheetin wah-hari. 1-3-4-19... 622 02:15:58,781 --> 02:16:02,182 Q 2-2 burse en blocken bracket 4-6-9." 623 02:16:02,385 --> 02:16:06,253 I been cleaning after this dumb ass cracker Giggins for 10 years. 624 02:16:06,456 --> 02:16:10,552 I've been hitting it with his woman for 12. Know what I'm saying, nigger? 625 02:16:10,760 --> 02:16:14,594 She likes her some chocolate. Sharpton for President, y'all. I'm outty. 626 02:16:15,631 --> 02:16:16,928 Peace. 627 02:16:17,834 --> 02:16:20,462 An evil videotape that kills people in seven days... 628 02:16:20,670 --> 02:16:24,231 alien forces threatening the world. Who the hell is Cindy Campbell? 629 02:16:24,440 --> 02:16:27,273 If what she says is true, we're facing an unprecedented crisis. 630 02:16:27,477 --> 02:16:29,741 - Get me the president. - You are the president. 631 02:16:29,946 --> 02:16:33,404 Then I already know about this. Let's order lunch. 632 02:16:33,616 --> 02:16:35,811 Sir, I think you need to go on TV... 633 02:16:36,018 --> 02:16:39,579 and convince the people that there is no such thing as a UF0. 634 02:16:39,789 --> 02:16:42,451 Don't spell in front of me, damn it. 635 02:16:42,658 --> 02:16:45,491 Alien, sir. There's no such things as aliens. 636 02:16:45,695 --> 02:16:47,128 - That's not quite true. - Sir? 637 02:16:47,497 --> 02:16:50,261 A year ago, a UF0 crash-landed in New Mexico. 638 02:16:50,767 --> 02:16:53,565 - A body may have been recovered. - May have been? 639 02:16:53,770 --> 02:16:56,238 Well, there was a terrible mix-up. 640 02:16:56,439 --> 02:17:00,569 It was Thanksgiving and the body was sent down to the kitchen. 641 02:17:00,777 --> 02:17:03,439 They shoved stuffing up its ass and we ate it at a state dinner. 642 02:17:03,646 --> 02:17:08,140 That's the last I saw of it. No, scratch that. 643 02:17:08,351 --> 02:17:11,752 - Sandwiches were made the next day. - Mr. President! Listen to me carefully. 644 02:17:11,954 --> 02:17:13,854 Back away from that window! 645 02:17:14,357 --> 02:17:17,656 - I forget to put my pants on again? - No, sir. 646 02:17:17,860 --> 02:17:19,691 It's just a feeling I've been having since the news... 647 02:17:19,896 --> 02:17:21,557 about the aliens. Something's not right. 648 02:17:21,764 --> 02:17:25,461 I know what you mean. Like that feeling that something's not right. 649 02:17:27,136 --> 02:17:31,004 - What is it? - Some old Tupac, sir. 650 02:17:33,476 --> 02:17:39,312 - "All Eyez on Me." This is banging. - Thank you, sir. I appreciate it. 651 02:18:54,690 --> 02:18:55,952 Hello, Cindy. 652 02:18:59,161 --> 02:19:03,825 I'm The Architect. You have many questions. 653 02:19:05,868 --> 02:19:08,962 I've been watching you for a very long time. 654 02:19:10,273 --> 02:19:14,471 So I see. But what is the connection between the crop circles and the tape? 655 02:19:14,677 --> 02:19:17,578 The answer is simple. You are the eventuality of an anomaly. 656 02:19:18,281 --> 02:19:20,715 You are inexorably seeking a sedulant probability. 657 02:19:21,117 --> 02:19:23,585 - "Sedulant?" - "Grotesquerie?" No? 658 02:19:24,153 --> 02:19:27,054 What about "contingent affirmation"? That's gotta mean something. 659 02:19:27,256 --> 02:19:31,750 You put cameras in my bathroom?! 660 02:19:33,296 --> 02:19:38,996 I can't... What is this? 0h, my God! Well, it was a long winter, I... 661 02:19:39,235 --> 02:19:41,669 - This is an invasion of... - 0h, sorry. 662 02:19:41,871 --> 02:19:44,465 I can't help it. It's very lonely in here. 663 02:19:44,674 --> 02:19:47,768 Ergo, I haven't been with anyone in a very long time. 664 02:19:48,244 --> 02:19:51,975 Not counting myself. 0r this chair. 665 02:19:52,181 --> 02:19:55,150 I call her... Linda. 666 02:19:55,351 --> 02:19:58,149 Could you just cut to the chase? I'm kind of in a rush. 667 02:19:58,521 --> 02:20:01,786 Why? You could always sleep over if you want. Linda's built for two. 668 02:20:02,124 --> 02:20:06,185 - And she vibrates. - Stop! Who is that little girl? 669 02:20:06,395 --> 02:20:08,693 0kay, okay. 670 02:20:10,099 --> 02:20:13,296 My wife and I wanted a child, but she couldn't get pregnant. 671 02:20:13,502 --> 02:20:16,562 - Neither could I. - So you adopted. 672 02:20:16,772 --> 02:20:20,333 We loved our daughter, but she was evil. Made the horses crazy... 673 02:20:20,543 --> 02:20:23,808 killed our puppies, hid the remote. Really sick shit. 674 02:20:24,280 --> 02:20:27,010 My wife took her to the old family farm and drowned her in the well. 675 02:20:28,017 --> 02:20:30,611 I felt a simple time out would have been sufficient. 676 02:20:31,354 --> 02:20:34,221 But Tabitha imprinted her evil on a videotape. 677 02:20:34,857 --> 02:20:38,122 - I never meant for it to get out... - But what? 678 02:20:38,694 --> 02:20:41,094 I put it in the wrong box and returned it to Blockbuster... 679 02:20:41,297 --> 02:20:43,527 instead of my copy of "Pootie Tang". 680 02:20:43,733 --> 02:20:45,894 It's been circulating and killing ever since. 681 02:20:46,102 --> 02:20:48,127 Just like "Pootie Tang". 682 02:20:49,305 --> 02:20:50,704 What does this have to do with the aliens? 683 02:20:50,906 --> 02:20:52,134 I don't know. 684 02:20:52,341 --> 02:20:55,071 Perhaps Tabitha's summoning them to kill us all. 685 02:20:55,277 --> 02:20:59,008 An alien invasion? I have to warn the world. 686 02:20:59,215 --> 02:21:03,675 - It's already begun. You're too late. - 0h, my God. 687 02:21:04,053 --> 02:21:06,248 But not too late to make an old man happy. 688 02:21:08,024 --> 02:21:10,015 What? What? 689 02:21:10,208 --> 02:21:12,836 And now, reports of lights in the sky... 690 02:21:13,211 --> 02:21:15,270 glimpses of spacecraft... 691 02:21:15,480 --> 02:21:20,816 possible alien sightings being reported all over the world. Are they aliens? 692 02:21:21,019 --> 02:21:24,978 The first video images are coming in. Disturbing home video... 693 02:21:25,189 --> 02:21:27,020 from a ranch outside Sydney. 694 02:21:27,725 --> 02:21:29,920 Watch very carefully now. 695 02:21:30,128 --> 02:21:32,426 There it is. Let's see that again. 696 02:21:34,065 --> 02:21:35,726 Very, very disturbing. 697 02:21:36,200 --> 02:21:38,430 And this just in from S�o Paulo, Brazil. 698 02:21:41,639 --> 02:21:42,765 Let's see that again. 699 02:21:48,479 --> 02:21:51,209 Very, very disturbing. 700 02:21:52,016 --> 02:21:54,985 And this just in from south Texas. 701 02:21:58,990 --> 02:22:02,187 Do they pose a threat? 0nly one thing's for certain. 702 02:22:02,393 --> 02:22:07,126 We are all going to be killed. We have to board up the house. 703 02:22:07,732 --> 02:22:11,566 Are you sure this is necessary? An awards ceremony at a time like this? 704 02:22:11,769 --> 02:22:14,829 Yes, sir. Everything must appear business as usual. 705 02:22:15,039 --> 02:22:17,906 The nation, while not yet panicked, is deeply disturbed. 706 02:22:18,109 --> 02:22:21,510 Let's see if we can steer that course keeping everybody deeply disturbed. 707 02:22:21,713 --> 02:22:23,203 We don't want a panic. 708 02:22:23,414 --> 02:22:25,644 Very few Presidents have faced a crisis like this. 709 02:22:25,850 --> 02:22:28,284 I wonder what President Ford would have done. 710 02:22:28,553 --> 02:22:32,284 Well, the buck stops here. The buck stops here. 711 02:22:34,926 --> 02:22:37,394 Thank you all and welcome to the White House. 712 02:22:37,595 --> 02:22:42,589 The Mother Teresa Awards recognize those who have overcome... 713 02:22:42,800 --> 02:22:44,825 the severest handicaps and disadvantages... 714 02:22:45,036 --> 02:22:46,833 to help others in their communities. 715 02:22:47,038 --> 02:22:52,135 The young, the old, black and white, our Native American friends. 716 02:22:52,343 --> 02:22:56,837 Hey, how are ya? Hey, how are ya? Hey, how are ya? Hey, how are ya? 717 02:22:57,949 --> 02:23:03,114 Well. It is therefore my honor to present each and every one of you... 718 02:23:03,321 --> 02:23:06,415 with this symbol of merit. 719 02:23:10,528 --> 02:23:13,827 - The room is secure, Mr. President. - 0r is it? 720 02:23:14,031 --> 02:23:16,124 - Sir? - I've been thinking. 721 02:23:16,701 --> 02:23:21,468 What if they could take over human bodies? They'd look just like us. 722 02:23:21,672 --> 02:23:25,267 I never thought of that. We should be on alert for anything suspicious. 723 02:23:25,610 --> 02:23:30,377 - They could be anywhere. Even... - Right here. My God. 724 02:23:30,581 --> 02:23:33,345 We'd never see the attack coming. It's frightening, sir! 725 02:23:33,551 --> 02:23:35,348 Don't panic. 726 02:23:35,887 --> 02:23:39,345 We'll just move slowly toward the exit. 727 02:23:40,525 --> 02:23:43,153 At last we meet, Mr. President. 728 02:23:43,361 --> 02:23:46,524 It's happening! I knew it! You'll never take me alive! 729 02:23:48,199 --> 02:23:50,997 - She's scrambling my brain! - I got her! 730 02:23:54,272 --> 02:23:58,072 - 0h, no, you don't! Not on my watch! - Good work, sir! 731 02:24:00,244 --> 02:24:05,147 Good God! The small ones have metal teeth. Jerry's Kids, my ass! 732 02:24:06,884 --> 02:24:10,820 Mr. President! Mr. President, have you gone completely insane? 733 02:24:11,255 --> 02:24:13,553 Like a fox. We've gotta talk to... 734 02:24:13,758 --> 02:24:15,851 the one person who saw this coming. Cindy Campbell. 735 02:24:16,060 --> 02:24:19,723 She knows how to defeat the aliens, this filthy rotten scum! 736 02:24:19,997 --> 02:24:23,330 Go, you hideous creature! Get off my planet! 737 02:24:23,534 --> 02:24:25,593 - He didn't mean it! - Mr. President, everything all right? 738 02:24:25,803 --> 02:24:28,636 - The exits are all blocked! - I'll find one, sir! 739 02:24:28,840 --> 02:24:30,740 Everybody clear! 740 02:24:33,110 --> 02:24:35,601 - This way, sir! God, this is exciting! - You're excited? 741 02:24:35,813 --> 02:24:38,145 You should feel my nipples. 742 02:24:39,250 --> 02:24:42,310 Cody? Cody? 743 02:24:42,520 --> 02:24:45,148 Cody, where are you? Honey? 744 02:24:45,356 --> 02:24:48,291 After today's incident in the East Room, the White House... 745 02:24:48,492 --> 02:24:51,427 is now advising all citizens to board up their homes... 746 02:24:51,629 --> 02:24:53,790 and prepare for an alien invasion. 747 02:24:54,265 --> 02:24:55,789 0h, no. 748 02:24:56,000 --> 02:24:58,366 And now, a News 8 exclusive. 749 02:24:58,569 --> 02:25:00,730 The killer videotape you've been hearing about. 750 02:25:00,938 --> 02:25:04,101 We're the only station that has it and we're showing it all night. 751 02:25:04,308 --> 02:25:06,139 Very exciting. Let's roll it again. 752 02:25:10,514 --> 02:25:12,345 There. Nobody's getting through that sucker. 753 02:25:12,550 --> 02:25:15,178 That's great, George, but we have to get down to the cellar. 754 02:25:16,888 --> 02:25:18,753 - George. - Cindy. 755 02:25:18,956 --> 02:25:21,447 There's no time. Get down to the cellar. 756 02:25:21,659 --> 02:25:23,957 I've been worried sick about you! 757 02:25:24,161 --> 02:25:25,389 He just showed up about an hour ago. 758 02:25:25,596 --> 02:25:27,427 - I tried to call. - No, he didn't. 759 02:25:28,199 --> 02:25:31,430 - 0kay, but I was gonna. - No, he wasn't. 760 02:25:32,203 --> 02:25:37,505 - You can't just run away like that. - I wanted to be with George. 761 02:25:37,975 --> 02:25:41,775 - I know you want a dad, but... - 0h, trust me, Cody... 762 02:25:41,979 --> 02:25:44,846 I'm not good at anything. Why would I be good at that? 763 02:25:45,049 --> 02:25:46,482 Uncle George! 764 02:25:59,830 --> 02:26:03,766 - It's gonna be okay, Cody. - I'm going to die, aren't I? 765 02:26:04,735 --> 02:26:08,967 Did I ever tell you what your mom said about you the day you were born? 766 02:26:11,042 --> 02:26:15,035 I was in the delivery room with her. She was having a hard time. 767 02:26:15,246 --> 02:26:17,714 Then you began to come out of her. 768 02:26:17,915 --> 02:26:20,179 Your mom screamed and screamed in pain. 769 02:26:20,384 --> 02:26:23,717 She yelled, "Just kill me. Bludgeon me with a bedpan. 770 02:26:23,921 --> 02:26:26,287 Whatever you do, put me out of this pain". 771 02:26:26,490 --> 02:26:28,651 She was gushing torrents of blood. 772 02:26:28,859 --> 02:26:30,827 I have this on tape if you wanna see it someday. 773 02:26:31,629 --> 02:26:36,328 Well, finally you came out. Your mom cut your umbilical cord herself. 774 02:26:36,534 --> 02:26:39,025 Well, on the second try. 775 02:26:39,236 --> 02:26:43,536 The first time she snipped your penis in half. After all, she was drunk. 776 02:26:44,108 --> 02:26:46,372 Actually, drugged. We'd been out the night before... 777 02:26:46,577 --> 02:26:48,010 celebrating Saint Patrick's Day. 778 02:26:48,212 --> 02:26:51,807 She thought, "Hey, I never tasted crystal meth." So she did a little. 779 02:26:52,616 --> 02:26:56,484 - My penis? - Yes. They sewed it on upside-down. 780 02:26:57,321 --> 02:27:02,190 - So that's why I pee up? - Yes. We'll get it fixed, honey. 781 02:27:02,393 --> 02:27:06,727 Right after we get TiVo. Anyway, there you were and your mom... 782 02:27:06,931 --> 02:27:11,834 turned to me and she said: "Hey, you want him? Take him." Then she died. 783 02:27:12,536 --> 02:27:15,733 And I took you. Do you know why? 784 02:27:15,940 --> 02:27:19,398 I just lost my cat in a fire, and I needed something to pet and feed. 785 02:27:19,944 --> 02:27:26,281 I miss that cat, Cody, but I love you and nothing's ever gonna change that. 786 02:27:26,484 --> 02:27:29,009 Not even the very painful death we're about to experience. 787 02:27:29,220 --> 02:27:30,448 George! 788 02:27:38,963 --> 02:27:41,454 - Are they gone? - I don't hear anything. 789 02:27:49,240 --> 02:27:51,606 - Don't worry, Sue. It's all right. - It was Uncle George. 790 02:27:52,076 --> 02:27:54,670 Well, it's scary. 791 02:27:55,880 --> 02:27:57,973 Good work, Sue. 792 02:27:58,182 --> 02:28:01,879 I don't know what stupid, idiotic thing made these lights go off. 793 02:28:02,586 --> 02:28:04,577 There's some spare fuses in the crawlspace. 794 02:28:04,789 --> 02:28:06,586 If I can get to them I can get these lights back on. 795 02:28:08,159 --> 02:28:11,754 Quick, George! Grab that railroad tie and jam it against the door! 796 02:28:14,598 --> 02:28:17,226 My balls! 797 02:28:17,435 --> 02:28:21,303 Not those! Jesus! No! 798 02:28:22,473 --> 02:28:26,967 - Uncle George, I'm scared. - Sweetie, come here. It's okay. 799 02:28:29,547 --> 02:28:31,811 There's something on the other side of the door. 800 02:28:45,930 --> 02:28:48,694 I can't see anything. 801 02:29:03,814 --> 02:29:06,374 - 0h, my God. - Can you see? What are they doing? 802 02:29:06,584 --> 02:29:12,181 They're horrible. They're grayish with black eyes. Their teeth are grotesque. 803 02:29:14,458 --> 02:29:16,517 - I think they're giggling. - What? 804 02:29:18,229 --> 02:29:22,666 0h, no. 0h, no, I think... I think they wanna... 805 02:29:26,971 --> 02:29:29,201 - Help! - Cody! 806 02:29:29,406 --> 02:29:31,397 George! Swing away, George. 807 02:29:32,643 --> 02:29:36,636 I'm coming, Cody. I'll save you! Die! 808 02:29:40,084 --> 02:29:42,917 Die, damn alien! Let him go! 809 02:29:43,120 --> 02:29:45,680 You're not getting in here! What else you got? 810 02:29:46,524 --> 02:29:51,427 - Bring it! There! Had enough? - Forget it, Cody. Thank me later. 811 02:29:51,829 --> 02:29:54,525 Cody, oh, thank God! Come on! 812 02:29:54,732 --> 02:29:56,723 - Daddy! Daddy! - Sue! 813 02:30:01,372 --> 02:30:05,502 - Mahalik! What are you doing here? - The hood's always got your back! 814 02:30:05,709 --> 02:30:08,075 - There's two of them at the door. - What? 815 02:30:08,646 --> 02:30:10,841 They're gone. 816 02:30:11,148 --> 02:30:14,549 Good. They couldn't get in. I hear they can't open doors. 817 02:30:14,885 --> 02:30:18,252 They mastered space flight, but they can't get through a wooden door? 818 02:30:18,589 --> 02:30:22,457 The cellar's the safest place. I say all women and children stay here. 819 02:30:23,260 --> 02:30:27,890 - The men, we go outside and fight. - What's the cut-off age for children? 820 02:30:28,098 --> 02:30:30,362 Come on! 821 02:30:45,683 --> 02:30:47,617 Follow me. 822 02:31:00,431 --> 02:31:02,729 I'm sorry. I thought I was hitting the brake. 823 02:31:03,500 --> 02:31:06,094 Now we don't have to go through insurance, do we? 824 02:31:06,303 --> 02:31:08,737 Mr. President, what are you doing here? 825 02:31:08,939 --> 02:31:12,170 Looking for Cindy Campbell. She may hold the key to defeating the aliens. 826 02:31:13,077 --> 02:31:16,137 Ah, good! The Air Force is here with those new round planes. 827 02:31:18,315 --> 02:31:20,408 We don't have round planes, sir. 828 02:31:21,051 --> 02:31:24,111 - 0h, my God. - 0h, my God. 829 02:31:24,321 --> 02:31:26,881 Wait. Do you hear that? 830 02:31:37,334 --> 02:31:39,131 - What's up, George? - CJ! 831 02:31:39,336 --> 02:31:42,328 I told you, the hood always got your back! And I got the boys with me. 832 02:31:42,539 --> 02:31:45,599 - Get out of the car, man. - Yo, who we gotta shoot? 833 02:31:45,843 --> 02:31:49,176 You all ready to go step Well, let's go do this, 'cause I'm hyped right now. 834 02:31:49,380 --> 02:31:53,043 - You stepped on my shoe, bitch! - Call me another bitch again and I'll... 835 02:31:53,250 --> 02:31:55,878 ...park your truck dead in your ass. - Calm down, man. 836 02:31:56,086 --> 02:31:57,451 - Damn, homey. - In the cornfield. 837 02:31:57,655 --> 02:31:59,452 - They're coming! - Don't worry about that. 838 02:31:59,657 --> 02:32:02,888 Me and my boys will take care of this. Come on! Let's go ahead and... 839 02:32:03,093 --> 02:32:05,789 - lf I was you, I'd bust this shit now. - Your mama! 840 02:32:05,996 --> 02:32:07,896 - I got your number, too. - We over here! 841 02:32:08,098 --> 02:32:10,362 We ain't gonna bust nothing. I got nuts bigger than him. 842 02:32:10,567 --> 02:32:14,970 - Your country ass making short, nigger. - Y'all want some of this? 843 02:32:18,409 --> 02:32:20,309 Get down! Get down! 844 02:32:28,185 --> 02:32:31,985 - I can't believe what I just saw. - These men died for their country. 845 02:32:32,189 --> 02:32:34,350 Send flowers to their bitches and hos. 846 02:32:39,763 --> 02:32:42,323 I can't break free! 847 02:32:42,533 --> 02:32:44,933 They must have some kind of weakness. 848 02:32:50,441 --> 02:32:53,205 I found it! Without their heads, they're powerless! 849 02:32:53,410 --> 02:32:55,401 Please, no. We mean you no harm. 850 02:32:55,679 --> 02:32:58,239 We traveled to your planet to find an evil little girl. 851 02:32:58,749 --> 02:33:01,877 We must destroy her before seven days. 852 02:33:02,086 --> 02:33:04,281 You mean, you watched the videotape? 853 02:33:04,488 --> 02:33:06,888 0ur satellite picked up what we thought was "Pootie Tang". 854 02:33:07,091 --> 02:33:10,891 That was a week ago and now our entire race will die... 855 02:33:11,095 --> 02:33:13,586 unless the girl is destroyed. 856 02:33:14,231 --> 02:33:17,723 - See? They are peaceful. - lf they're so peaceful, man... 857 02:33:17,935 --> 02:33:21,769 ...why were they choking us? - 0h, that's how we say hello. 858 02:33:22,673 --> 02:33:26,200 - Hello! Nice to see you. - Hello! 859 02:33:26,677 --> 02:33:29,544 How do you guys say good-bye? 860 02:33:31,081 --> 02:33:33,709 - I had to ask. - lf you think that's strange... 861 02:33:33,917 --> 02:33:36,477 you should see how we pee. 862 02:33:43,494 --> 02:33:46,554 So we're not so different after all. 863 02:33:49,400 --> 02:33:53,996 There's something about this place. It's like I've seen it before. 864 02:33:55,939 --> 02:33:58,237 0h, my God. 865 02:34:01,111 --> 02:34:04,979 This used to be their farm! She died right here! 866 02:34:19,797 --> 02:34:22,391 There's something down there. 867 02:34:45,756 --> 02:34:49,522 Push back. Yeah! He's got it. 868 02:34:49,927 --> 02:34:54,296 Just look at this. Human beings and aliens working together. 869 02:34:54,498 --> 02:34:57,661 We're all just one big galactic family. 870 02:34:58,001 --> 02:35:01,835 Family, that's just what I've been running away from. 871 02:35:02,039 --> 02:35:05,475 Well, that's because you're an idiot. 872 02:35:15,152 --> 02:35:17,313 This is it. 873 02:35:17,521 --> 02:35:20,718 My wife took her to the old family farm and drowned her in the well. 874 02:35:25,028 --> 02:35:29,021 The little girl... She's frightened of the well. 875 02:35:49,453 --> 02:35:51,250 Cindy! 876 02:36:28,825 --> 02:36:31,726 Time to go back down the well, bitch. 877 02:36:33,564 --> 02:36:36,431 - Cindy! - No! Don't hurt him! 878 02:36:37,968 --> 02:36:40,664 Cindy, you have to come outside. The aliens aren't invading! 879 02:36:43,073 --> 02:36:44,665 Don't worry, Cody! I'll save you! 880 02:36:45,576 --> 02:36:50,741 Please! Wait. Don't do this. You don't have to be evil. 881 02:36:52,115 --> 02:36:54,845 I know what happened to you, Tabitha. 882 02:36:57,154 --> 02:37:01,488 I know what your mom did. That was wrong. You were just a little girl. 883 02:37:01,692 --> 02:37:04,024 You're still that little girl, just... 884 02:37:04,394 --> 02:37:07,522 a lot more corpsey and with really bad teeth. 885 02:37:08,198 --> 02:37:12,191 But maybe all you need is a mother. 886 02:37:16,306 --> 02:37:18,570 And a father. 887 02:37:30,754 --> 02:37:33,120 - We could be... - A family. 888 02:37:38,829 --> 02:37:40,296 Thank you all. 889 02:37:40,497 --> 02:37:43,762 Your love has broken the curse and freed my soul. 890 02:37:43,967 --> 02:37:47,198 - I'll never have to kill again. - Really? 891 02:37:47,471 --> 02:37:50,872 No. I'm just screwing with you. 892 02:37:53,710 --> 02:37:57,077 I just want to tell you good luck. We're all counting on you. 893 02:38:06,390 --> 02:38:10,520 Now it's over. No, it's okay. 894 02:38:10,861 --> 02:38:14,194 - He's our friend. - Thank you for saving our species. 895 02:38:14,398 --> 02:38:17,492 - We must return to our home planet. - Good-bye then. 896 02:38:18,735 --> 02:38:20,862 Good-bye. 897 02:38:39,189 --> 02:38:41,555 Hey, congratulations, George! 898 02:38:41,758 --> 02:38:43,919 You know the hood always got your back! 899 02:38:44,127 --> 02:38:46,357 Yeah! yeah! 900 02:38:51,601 --> 02:38:53,091 Thank you. 901 02:39:08,051 --> 02:39:12,954 I'm so happy. Finally, we're a family. 902 02:39:13,156 --> 02:39:14,783 Yeah, you, me and... 903 02:39:16,259 --> 02:39:17,248 Damn! 904 02:39:18,929 --> 02:39:20,897 Cindy! George! Wait! 905 02:48:49,098 --> 02:48:52,090 CAPTIONS BY VIDEOLAR