1 00:00:47,713 --> 00:00:52,150 Listen to me! Killing a few hostages is not sufficient! 2 00:00:52,233 --> 00:00:54,701 The Americans must be made to suffer. 3 00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:57,023 We must humiliate them. 4 00:00:57,113 --> 00:00:59,627 You do not go far enough, General Amin. 5 00:00:59,713 --> 00:01:03,308 We must strip their entrails out and drag them to Damascus, 6 00:01:03,393 --> 00:01:07,068 until they include us in the peace process. 7 00:01:07,153 --> 00:01:11,465 Nonsense! This solution is not bold enough for Libya. 8 00:01:11,553 --> 00:01:15,432 l say wipe out Washington and New York. 9 00:01:15,513 --> 00:01:19,062 What? And spoil three years of good PR? 10 00:01:19,153 --> 00:01:22,225 The Americans believe l'm a nice guy. 11 00:01:22,313 --> 00:01:26,352 in some of their polls, l'm more popular than their president! 12 00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:32,991 Gentlemen! Gentlemen! This is getting us nowhere. 13 00:01:33,073 --> 00:01:36,270 lf we do nothing else this week, 14 00:01:36,353 --> 00:01:40,028 we must conceive at least one terrorist act 15 00:01:40,113 --> 00:01:42,832 that will show all the world 16 00:01:42,913 --> 00:01:45,791 that the United States, the great Satan, 17 00:01:45,873 --> 00:01:48,910 is but a paper tiger - a weak nation, 18 00:01:48,993 --> 00:01:53,589 a weak people, a people ripe for destruction. 19 00:01:53,673 --> 00:01:57,109 Cowards, no longer willing to fight. 20 00:02:17,553 --> 00:02:19,509 l knew it! 21 00:02:53,753 --> 00:02:56,187 Hey, who are you? 22 00:02:56,273 --> 00:02:58,741 l'm Lieutenant Frank Drebin, Police Squad. 23 00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:01,950 And don't ever let me catch you guys in America! 24 00:03:28,873 --> 00:03:30,829 Watch out! 25 00:05:28,273 --> 00:05:30,867 ..98, 99, 100. i's all here. 26 00:05:30,953 --> 00:05:34,025 This completes our first shipment of heroin. 27 00:05:34,113 --> 00:05:36,149 100% pure. 28 00:05:36,233 --> 00:05:38,383 i better be - all 40 kilos. 29 00:05:38,473 --> 00:05:41,749 The final shipment will be delivered in three days. 30 00:05:41,833 --> 00:05:45,223 - Then we'll expect payment. - Don't worry.' 31 00:06:12,393 --> 00:06:14,827 Police! Throw down your guns! 32 00:06:36,473 --> 00:06:38,429 Kill him. 33 00:07:24,433 --> 00:07:28,824 i's a great day for Americans. This man alone... 34 00:07:37,513 --> 00:07:38,946 There he is! 35 00:07:40,033 --> 00:07:41,989 No flowers, thank you. 36 00:07:42,073 --> 00:07:45,543 Welcome home, Frank. Good work in Beirut. We heard about it. 37 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:49,592 Thanks. l want to know one thing - is it true about Victoria? 38 00:07:49,673 --> 00:07:53,143 l'm afraid so. She ran off with some guy. 39 00:07:53,233 --> 00:07:55,701 They got married last week. 40 00:07:55,793 --> 00:07:59,308 Then it's over. All of this is meaningless. 41 00:07:59,393 --> 00:08:02,066 l did it for her. Everything. 42 00:08:02,153 --> 00:08:04,542 And now she's gone. 43 00:08:04,633 --> 00:08:08,626 And you came down here to get a hot story, didn't you? 44 00:08:08,713 --> 00:08:11,147 Pictures of me to sell your newspapers. 45 00:08:11,233 --> 00:08:14,828 - Frank... - Sure, you think l'm a big hero. 46 00:08:14,913 --> 00:08:19,270 Do any of you understand? how a man can hurt inside? 47 00:08:19,353 --> 00:08:21,389 Frank, they're not here for you. 48 00:08:21,473 --> 00:08:23,862 ''Weird Al'' Yankovic is on the plane. 49 00:08:29,153 --> 00:08:31,826 What about the wedding? What was she wearing? 50 00:08:31,913 --> 00:08:35,189 Don't torture yourself! Put her out of your mind. 51 00:08:35,273 --> 00:08:38,788 l can't get her out of my mind. What about the guy? 52 00:08:38,873 --> 00:08:41,990 - Do you know anything about him? - Not much. 53 00:08:42,073 --> 00:08:44,143 Just that he's an Olympic gymnast 54 00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:46,793 and it's the best sex she's ever had. 55 00:08:47,953 --> 00:08:52,265 l trusted her and followed my heart. Foolishly, it seems. 56 00:08:52,353 --> 00:08:54,867 l'm just gonna have to learn to forget. 57 00:08:54,953 --> 00:08:59,868 That's why l took my vacation in Beirut - to find some peace. 58 00:08:59,953 --> 00:09:01,909 i won't be easy. 59 00:09:01,993 --> 00:09:05,269 Everywhere l look, something reminds me of her. 60 00:09:06,793 --> 00:09:09,865 Maybe cops and women just don't mix. 61 00:09:09,953 --> 00:09:13,229 What about Nordberg? l came as soon as l heard. 62 00:09:13,313 --> 00:09:15,588 He's alive, but on life support. 63 00:09:15,673 --> 00:09:18,267 He's got a 50/50 chance of living, 64 00:09:18,353 --> 00:09:22,312 though there's only a 10% chance of that. 65 00:09:43,513 --> 00:09:47,301 Mrs Nordberg, l think we can save your husband's arm. 66 00:09:47,393 --> 00:09:49,349 Where would you like it sent? 67 00:09:49,433 --> 00:09:54,348 - Frank! l'm so glad you came! - Wilma, l came as soon as l heard. 68 00:09:54,433 --> 00:09:56,025 Thank you, Frank. 69 00:09:56,113 --> 00:09:59,150 - Where's Nordberg? - He's right here. 70 00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:02,589 Nordberg, it's Frank, your buddy. 71 00:10:04,833 --> 00:10:06,789 l'll get it! 72 00:10:10,153 --> 00:10:13,111 Get the switch at the back of the bed! 73 00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:20,470 Nordberg, it's me, Frank. Who did this to you? 74 00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:22,464 l...love you. 75 00:10:23,673 --> 00:10:27,461 l love you, too, Nordberg. Who were they? 76 00:10:27,553 --> 00:10:31,068 - Ship... Boat... - That's right. A boat. 77 00:10:31,153 --> 00:10:34,270 When you're better, we'll go sailing together, 78 00:10:34,353 --> 00:10:37,026 - just like last year. - No... Drugs. 79 00:10:37,113 --> 00:10:41,345 Nurse, give this man some drugs! Can't you see he's in pain? 80 00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,788 - Give him a shot, quickly! - No... 81 00:10:43,873 --> 00:10:46,945 Heroin! Heroin, Frank! 82 00:10:47,033 --> 00:10:49,228 Nordberg, that's a pretty tall order. 83 00:10:49,313 --> 00:10:52,350 Give me a couple of days on that one. 84 00:10:54,513 --> 00:10:58,665 Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. 85 00:10:58,753 --> 00:11:02,951 He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing? 86 00:11:03,033 --> 00:11:04,625 i's hard to tell. 87 00:11:04,713 --> 00:11:09,548 A gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover... 88 00:11:11,233 --> 00:11:13,667 Frank, get a hold of your self! 89 00:11:13,753 --> 00:11:18,508 A good cop - needlessly cut down by some cowardly hoodlums. 90 00:11:18,593 --> 00:11:21,949 - No way for a man to die. - You're right, Ed. 91 00:11:22,033 --> 00:11:24,831 A parachute not opening - that's the way to die, 92 00:11:24,913 --> 00:11:27,268 getting caught in a combine, 93 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,867 having your nuts bit off by a Laplander. 94 00:11:29,953 --> 00:11:31,909 That's the way l want to go. 95 00:11:33,753 --> 00:11:36,347 Frank! This is terrible! 96 00:11:36,433 --> 00:11:41,553 Don't worry, Wilma. Your husband is gonna be all right. 97 00:11:41,633 --> 00:11:46,468 Just think positive. Never let a doubt enter your mind. 98 00:11:46,553 --> 00:11:48,464 He's right, Wilma, 99 00:11:48,553 --> 00:11:53,263 but don't wait till the last minute to fill out those organ donor cards. 100 00:11:53,353 --> 00:11:56,902 What l'm trying to say is, as soon as Nordberg is better, 101 00:11:56,993 --> 00:11:59,063 he's welcome back at Police Squad. 102 00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:03,988 Unless he's a drooling vegetable, but that's only common sense. 103 00:12:06,153 --> 00:12:10,112 Do you know why Nordberg was at the waterfront? 104 00:12:11,593 --> 00:12:13,743 No... 105 00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:16,905 But l found this at home in a drawer. 106 00:12:18,033 --> 00:12:24,222 A photograph! ''l Luv You'' out of Caracas. 107 00:12:24,313 --> 00:12:26,873 A Panamanian ship. 108 00:12:26,953 --> 00:12:30,992 When he said ''l love you'', he was telling you the name of the ship! 109 00:12:31,073 --> 00:12:34,031 l realise that...now. 110 00:12:34,113 --> 00:12:37,742 - We'd better check this out. - l want every available man on it. 111 00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:39,824 l can't spare anybody. 112 00:12:39,913 --> 00:12:43,872 We're in charge of security for Queen Elizabeth's visit. 113 00:12:43,953 --> 00:12:46,513 Wilma, whatever scum did this, 114 00:12:46,593 --> 00:12:50,905 no man will rest until he's behind bars. Let's grab a bite to eat. 115 00:12:56,153 --> 00:13:00,863 Due to the extraordinary efforts of some of our civic leaders, 116 00:13:00,953 --> 00:13:05,549 Queen Elizabeth has included the city of Los Angeles 117 00:13:05,633 --> 00:13:09,626 as one of the cities she'll visit during her American tour. 118 00:13:10,993 --> 00:13:15,145 Will the city hire additional security officers? 119 00:13:15,233 --> 00:13:20,182 We have placed the Queen's security in the hands of Police Squad, 120 00:13:20,273 --> 00:13:23,265 a special division of the Police Department, 121 00:13:23,353 --> 00:13:26,311 represented here by Lieutenant Frank Drebin. 122 00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:32,069 Thank you, Your Honour. 123 00:13:33,873 --> 00:13:34,828 Louder! 124 00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:39,791 - You can use my radio mic. - Thank you. 125 00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:49,822 Thank you, Your Honour. Protecting the Queen's safety 126 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:53,986 is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. 127 00:13:54,073 --> 00:13:57,986 No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, 128 00:13:58,073 --> 00:14:02,863 as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts. 129 00:14:04,753 --> 00:14:06,550 Thank you, Lieutenant Drebin. 130 00:14:07,833 --> 00:14:12,145 Of course, we all have a stake in seeing that this portion 131 00:14:12,233 --> 00:14:16,670 of the Queen's American tour is completely protected. 132 00:14:16,753 --> 00:14:21,383 And we can take pride that the Queen... 133 00:14:25,953 --> 00:14:29,104 indeed, it is for all the people, 134 00:14:29,193 --> 00:14:34,221 who will be able to share in these...celebrations... 135 00:14:36,313 --> 00:14:38,508 Especially exciting... 136 00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:45,141 will be...the Queen's... public appearances. 137 00:15:00,193 --> 00:15:02,229 We also would like... 138 00:15:19,913 --> 00:15:24,589 Ed and l drove to where Nordberg had been found floating. 139 00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:29,508 Without leads, you have to start somewhere, and that was the harbour. 140 00:15:29,593 --> 00:15:32,744 Please disperse. Please disperse. 141 00:15:32,833 --> 00:15:36,985 There's nothing for you to see here. Keep moving. 142 00:15:37,073 --> 00:15:38,825 Where did they find him? 143 00:15:38,913 --> 00:15:40,904 Out there. Do you wanna take a dinghy? 144 00:15:40,993 --> 00:15:44,065 No, l took care of that at the press conference. 145 00:15:44,153 --> 00:15:47,304 i doesn't make sense. Good policeman, bright future... 146 00:15:47,393 --> 00:15:49,623 then something like this happens. 147 00:15:49,713 --> 00:15:51,669 He was found by the night watchman. 148 00:15:51,753 --> 00:15:54,392 l'm gonna talk to the harbour-master. 149 00:15:54,473 --> 00:15:56,429 l'll walk around and snoop. 150 00:16:01,793 --> 00:16:05,342 - Yeah? - Lieutenant Drebin, Police Squad. 151 00:16:05,433 --> 00:16:07,901 l remember you. What do you want? 152 00:16:07,993 --> 00:16:11,542 l wanna ask some questions. Are you familiar with that face? 153 00:16:11,633 --> 00:16:14,864 l don't know. My memory ain't so great. 154 00:16:14,953 --> 00:16:17,831 Oh, yeah? Maybe this'll refresh your memory. 155 00:16:17,913 --> 00:16:19,869 - Still hazy. - How about this? 156 00:16:19,953 --> 00:16:22,023 l remember. Why do you want to know? 157 00:16:22,113 --> 00:16:25,503 - l can't tell you. - Maybe this'll help. 158 00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:28,983 - l don't think l should. - Still don't think so? 159 00:16:29,073 --> 00:16:32,429 - i's Nordberg, he's a cop. - No, he was dealin' 'H'. 160 00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:34,185 - What? - He was dirty! 161 00:16:34,273 --> 00:16:37,071 Scum! l ought to run you in right now! 162 00:16:37,153 --> 00:16:40,543 He worked at Ludwig's Shipping. He tried to push something. 163 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:43,830 - What are you gonna do about it? - Why should l tell you? 164 00:16:43,913 --> 00:16:46,950 - Maybe this'll help. - l shouldn't tell you. 165 00:16:47,033 --> 00:16:49,388 Can you spot me a 20? How about now? 166 00:16:49,473 --> 00:16:51,543 l'm going down to Ludwig's office. 167 00:16:51,633 --> 00:16:54,147 l'll find out if you're telling the truth. 168 00:16:56,113 --> 00:17:00,072 Vincent Ludwig owned one of the city's largest corporations. 169 00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:02,621 A respected business man and civic leader, 170 00:17:02,713 --> 00:17:05,785 he was to chair the Queen's reception committee. 171 00:17:05,873 --> 00:17:09,946 Now l was about to question him about drugs and attempted murder. 172 00:17:15,673 --> 00:17:18,585 - Mr Ludwig? - Yes? 173 00:17:18,673 --> 00:17:21,506 Lieutenant Drebin to see you, sir. 174 00:17:23,353 --> 00:17:25,821 Show him in. 175 00:17:30,033 --> 00:17:32,991 - Lieutenant. - The feeling is mutual. 176 00:17:33,073 --> 00:17:36,702 Nice to meet you, too. Cuban? 177 00:17:36,793 --> 00:17:41,105 No, Dutch-irish. My father was from Wales. 178 00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:42,672 Sit down. 179 00:17:42,753 --> 00:17:45,870 - What a magnificent office. - Thank you, Lieutenant. 180 00:17:45,953 --> 00:17:50,310 Most objects l have collected over a period of many years - 181 00:17:50,393 --> 00:17:54,909 my Gainsborough, Ming vases. Priceless! 182 00:17:54,993 --> 00:17:59,748 They are objects which l feel reflect my personality, 183 00:17:59,833 --> 00:18:01,949 like the Japanese fighting fish - 184 00:18:02,033 --> 00:18:04,945 beautiful, graceful, elegant... 185 00:18:05,033 --> 00:18:07,183 yet single-minded of purpose 186 00:18:07,273 --> 00:18:10,788 and deadly when it finds what it wants. 187 00:18:10,873 --> 00:18:15,788 This particular one is valued at over $20,000. 188 00:18:15,873 --> 00:18:18,387 A luxury item, to be certain, 189 00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:22,227 but l am a man who appreciates the finer things in life. 190 00:18:22,313 --> 00:18:26,226 Oh, this... This is a rare Samurai pen, 191 00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:29,111 a gift from Emperor Hirohito. 192 00:18:29,193 --> 00:18:33,072 Unbreakable. impervious to everything but water. 193 00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:37,829 - its value is beyond estimation. - That's fascinating. 194 00:18:37,913 --> 00:18:42,668 But l'm sure you didn't pay this visit for a lecture on fine art. 195 00:18:42,753 --> 00:18:45,313 To what do l owe the honour? 196 00:18:45,393 --> 00:18:49,068 l'm investigating the attempted murder of a dock worker, 197 00:18:50,673 --> 00:18:54,268 a man named Nordberg, a police officer. 198 00:18:56,073 --> 00:18:58,029 He is still alive, then? 199 00:18:58,113 --> 00:19:00,388 He was shot six times. 200 00:19:00,633 --> 00:19:03,591 Fortunately, the bullets missed every vital organ. 201 00:19:03,673 --> 00:19:07,222 - The sai water preserved him. - So they... 202 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,702 So they got him to the hospital in time? 203 00:19:09,793 --> 00:19:13,627 He's in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle. 204 00:19:13,713 --> 00:19:16,830 This certainly comes as a shock to me. 205 00:19:16,913 --> 00:19:21,941 As you know, l'm not the kind of man who takes such things lightly. 206 00:19:22,033 --> 00:19:25,787 There is no room in my organisation for criminal activity. 207 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:30,105 Look out there - a vast commercial development buii by me. 208 00:19:30,193 --> 00:19:34,106 Do you have any idea what was out there just five years ago? 209 00:19:35,593 --> 00:19:37,504 You bet you do. Orange groves! 210 00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:40,551 Acres of them. As far as the eye could see. 211 00:19:40,633 --> 00:19:45,309 But now that land will generate ten times the amount of profit. 212 00:19:46,673 --> 00:19:49,141 Are you all right, Lieutenant? 213 00:19:49,233 --> 00:19:51,463 Let me get you some Kleenex. 214 00:19:51,553 --> 00:19:54,863 Has this officer - 215 00:19:54,953 --> 00:19:56,989 What's his name? Nordberg - 216 00:19:57,073 --> 00:20:00,952 been able to tell you anything? 217 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:05,345 Well, he hasn't been able to tell us a thing so far, 218 00:20:05,433 --> 00:20:08,231 but as soon as he regains consciousness, 219 00:20:08,313 --> 00:20:12,272 we'll see if he can still play the guitar. 220 00:20:12,353 --> 00:20:15,663 - Pardon? - I�ve taken up a lot of your time. 221 00:20:15,753 --> 00:20:18,267 I�d like to look at your employment records 222 00:20:18,353 --> 00:20:20,708 and speak to someone in Personnel. 223 00:20:20,793 --> 00:20:22,306 Of course. 224 00:20:22,393 --> 00:20:25,942 - Dominique, send in Miss Spencer. - Yes, sir. 225 00:20:26,033 --> 00:20:30,549 l am quite busy making arrangements for the royal visit, 226 00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:34,387 but l will have my assistant provide you with anything you need. 227 00:20:34,473 --> 00:20:37,704 You've been very co-operative. l'll note that in my report. 228 00:20:37,793 --> 00:20:39,545 My pleasure. 229 00:20:42,353 --> 00:20:46,710 Miss Spencer! This is Lieutenant Drebin from Police Squad. 230 00:20:47,753 --> 00:20:50,187 Hello...Mr Drebin. 231 00:20:50,993 --> 00:20:52,346 Hello. 232 00:20:59,433 --> 00:21:00,661 Oh! 233 00:21:14,953 --> 00:21:18,946 Her hair was the colour of gold in old paintings. 234 00:21:20,073 --> 00:21:23,110 She had a full set of curves 235 00:21:23,193 --> 00:21:27,789 and the kind of legs you'd like to suck on for a day. 236 00:21:27,873 --> 00:21:31,422 She gave me a look l could feel in my hip pocket. 237 00:21:33,033 --> 00:21:37,106 Yep, this was starting to get interesting. 238 00:21:42,593 --> 00:21:45,949 - Nice beaver. - Thank you. 239 00:21:46,033 --> 00:21:49,867 - l just had it stuffed. - Let me help you with that. 240 00:21:51,793 --> 00:21:54,751 This should be what you're looking for - 241 00:21:54,833 --> 00:21:57,472 the shipping and employment records for Pier 32. 242 00:21:57,553 --> 00:22:00,067 Thank you. 243 00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:02,587 I�ve heard police work is dangerous. 244 00:22:02,673 --> 00:22:04,903 Yes, that's why l carry a big gun. 245 00:22:05,433 --> 00:22:07,708 Couldn't it go off accidentally? 246 00:22:07,793 --> 00:22:09,988 l used to have that problem. 247 00:22:10,073 --> 00:22:12,029 What did you do about it? 248 00:22:12,113 --> 00:22:14,502 l just think about baseball. 249 00:22:16,233 --> 00:22:19,384 That's a honey of an ankle-bracelet you have there. 250 00:22:19,473 --> 00:22:22,146 Did it slip down there again? 251 00:22:22,233 --> 00:22:24,986 Yes, well... l'll quickly go through these 252 00:22:25,073 --> 00:22:27,029 and get them back to you tomorrow. 253 00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:31,584 Fine, but there's no rush. l mean, whenever you're through. 254 00:22:31,673 --> 00:22:35,666 Thank you. l wish there was some way l could repay you. 255 00:22:35,753 --> 00:22:40,747 How about dinner? l know a place that serves great Viking food. 256 00:22:40,833 --> 00:22:44,792 i's tempting, but l'm afraid l must rest this evening, 257 00:22:44,873 --> 00:22:46,829 tomorrow being Arbor Day. 258 00:22:46,913 --> 00:22:49,666 Of course. Perhaps some other time. 259 00:22:49,753 --> 00:22:53,189 - How about a rain check? - Let's just stick to dinner. 260 00:22:53,273 --> 00:22:56,743 Thank you for your help, Miss Spencer. 261 00:22:58,033 --> 00:22:59,989 My pleasure. 262 00:23:00,073 --> 00:23:03,588 - Well? - Mr Ludwig, you startled me! 263 00:23:03,673 --> 00:23:05,470 l'm sorry, my dear. 264 00:23:05,553 --> 00:23:08,590 Did you give the lieutenant what he wanted? 265 00:23:08,673 --> 00:23:11,141 l gave him copies of the files for Pier 32. 266 00:23:11,233 --> 00:23:13,189 Good. That's good. 267 00:23:13,273 --> 00:23:18,063 He is an intriguing fellow, don't you think? 268 00:23:18,153 --> 00:23:21,987 Well, l don't know. I�ve only just met him. 269 00:23:22,073 --> 00:23:23,870 He seems very nice. 270 00:23:23,953 --> 00:23:27,025 Jane, l realise this is an unusual request, 271 00:23:27,113 --> 00:23:30,310 but if there is something illegal going on in this company, 272 00:23:30,393 --> 00:23:34,022 l need to know about it, so we can root it out. 273 00:23:34,113 --> 00:23:36,104 That's why l want you to... 274 00:23:36,193 --> 00:23:40,266 well, to get to know Drebin a little better, 275 00:23:40,353 --> 00:23:42,309 find out what he knows. 276 00:23:42,393 --> 00:23:45,066 Wouldn't this be best handled by the police? 277 00:23:45,153 --> 00:23:48,350 We are letting the police handle it, my dear! 278 00:23:48,433 --> 00:23:51,391 But we need to know the facts quickly 279 00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:54,465 before anything gets into the newspapers. 280 00:23:54,553 --> 00:23:58,831 Don't forget, l have a responsibility to the stockholders. 281 00:23:58,913 --> 00:24:02,303 Well...if you put it that way... 282 00:24:02,393 --> 00:24:06,147 - Yes, l'll do my best. - That's better. 283 00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:11,871 l'm sure you will. 284 00:24:16,913 --> 00:24:21,065 i was about 4pm when l returned to Police Squad. 285 00:24:21,153 --> 00:24:25,590 l wanted to see what the lab had come up with on Nordberg's jacket, 286 00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:28,028 the one they'd found on the docks. 287 00:24:28,113 --> 00:24:31,662 You can tell a lot from fibre samples if they aren't too wet. 288 00:24:31,753 --> 00:24:34,221 l was hoping we wouldn't come up dry. 289 00:24:34,313 --> 00:24:35,871 Hey, look out! 290 00:24:38,033 --> 00:24:39,705 Police! Hai! 291 00:24:48,273 --> 00:24:51,026 Anybody catch the licence plate? 292 00:24:51,433 --> 00:24:54,391 Anybody get a look at the driver? 293 00:24:57,673 --> 00:25:00,824 Take the names of everybody here for questioning. 294 00:25:00,913 --> 00:25:04,542 I�ve got to get...inside. 295 00:25:11,033 --> 00:25:14,264 Hi, Ed, Ted. You got those fibre samples yet? 296 00:25:14,353 --> 00:25:16,344 - We got some action here. - What? 297 00:25:16,433 --> 00:25:18,788 We're testing our anti-graffiti wall. 298 00:25:18,873 --> 00:25:20,670 We've got customers. 299 00:25:20,753 --> 00:25:24,302 i reacts when the spray hits the sensors. 300 00:25:27,433 --> 00:25:29,583 You've done it again - mazel tov! 301 00:25:29,673 --> 00:25:32,346 Good work. What will you think of next? 302 00:25:32,433 --> 00:25:34,389 Now that you mention it, 303 00:25:34,473 --> 00:25:37,226 here's something we developed only yesterday. 304 00:25:37,313 --> 00:25:40,032 To the casual observer - an ordinary shoe. 305 00:25:40,113 --> 00:25:43,867 But in actuality... it makes a handy weapon. 306 00:25:43,953 --> 00:25:47,070 And everything a cop would need. 307 00:25:47,153 --> 00:25:49,144 We call it the Swiss Army Shoe. 308 00:25:49,233 --> 00:25:53,624 - Great. And the fibre samples? - Just one more thing. 309 00:25:53,713 --> 00:25:55,908 See these cufflinks l'm wearing? 310 00:25:55,993 --> 00:26:00,464 They're not just cufflinks. Each one fires a single pin-sized dart, 311 00:26:00,553 --> 00:26:03,511 that knocks out your victim for a few minutes. 312 00:26:03,593 --> 00:26:05,743 Let me demonstrate on Ed. 313 00:26:07,633 --> 00:26:10,227 Ted! Why? 314 00:26:12,073 --> 00:26:15,031 Don't worry. He'll be up and around in no time. 315 00:26:15,113 --> 00:26:19,072 - Why don't you take a pair? - Actually, l could use another pair. 316 00:26:19,153 --> 00:26:20,950 l think you'll like them. 317 00:26:21,033 --> 00:26:23,672 - Want this, chief? - Thank you, Al. 318 00:26:23,753 --> 00:26:26,711 There's something on the side of your mouth, Al. 319 00:26:26,793 --> 00:26:29,227 No, no. The other side. 320 00:26:29,313 --> 00:26:33,829 As you requested, we took some fibre samples from Nordberg's jacket. 321 00:26:33,913 --> 00:26:36,222 l'm afraid it doesn't look good. 322 00:26:36,313 --> 00:26:39,669 - What do you mean? - Take a look for yourself. 323 00:26:42,153 --> 00:26:45,907 - l can't see anything. - Use your open eye, Frank. 324 00:26:46,593 --> 00:26:48,549 Yeah, l can see it now. 325 00:26:48,633 --> 00:26:52,069 At first, it appears to be the normal cotton fibres. 326 00:26:52,153 --> 00:26:54,747 But we discovered a fine white powder. 327 00:26:56,193 --> 00:26:58,423 Pure heroin. 328 00:26:58,513 --> 00:27:01,471 How well do you know Nordberg? 329 00:27:01,553 --> 00:27:04,989 We were partners for nine years and he's my best friend. 330 00:27:05,073 --> 00:27:08,349 We can't allow personal feelings to get in the way. 331 00:27:08,433 --> 00:27:12,984 - Are you saying that Nordberg...? - The Queen arrives in two days. 332 00:27:13,073 --> 00:27:15,507 lf the press should pick this up, 333 00:27:15,593 --> 00:27:18,551 it could be embarrassing for the police and the city. 334 00:27:18,633 --> 00:27:22,706 l'm sorry, Frank. l'm giving you 24 hours to clear Nordberg. 335 00:27:32,793 --> 00:27:34,749 - Mr Ludwig? - Yes? 336 00:27:34,833 --> 00:27:39,270 - A Mr Pahpshmir is here. - Show him in. 337 00:27:46,193 --> 00:27:49,151 is there something wrong, Mr Ludwig? 338 00:27:49,233 --> 00:27:50,905 No, it's nothing. 339 00:27:50,993 --> 00:27:55,066 - Then may we get down to business? - Certainly. Have a seat. 340 00:27:55,153 --> 00:27:58,145 l can carry out your request. 341 00:27:58,233 --> 00:28:02,306 - My price is $20 million. - Your price is not a problem. 342 00:28:03,913 --> 00:28:07,508 But there is concern on the part of those l represent, 343 00:28:07,593 --> 00:28:13,145 that you would be able to... complete so difficui a task. 344 00:28:13,233 --> 00:28:15,508 Tell me, Mr Pahpshmir, 345 00:28:15,593 --> 00:28:20,951 in all the world, who is the most effective assassin? 346 00:28:21,033 --> 00:28:26,312 l would think anyone who manages to conceal his identity as an assassin. 347 00:28:26,393 --> 00:28:31,148 Yes, but there is even a more ideal assassin. 348 00:28:33,153 --> 00:28:37,226 One who doesn't know he is an assassin. 349 00:28:37,313 --> 00:28:39,873 - Care for some tea? - Yes, please. 350 00:28:39,953 --> 00:28:42,945 Dominique, service for two, please. 351 00:28:54,033 --> 00:28:56,627 l must kill Pahpshmir. 352 00:29:04,313 --> 00:29:07,908 - Cream and sugar, sir? - Mr Pahpshmir? 353 00:29:11,473 --> 00:29:13,543 Cream only, please. 354 00:29:15,233 --> 00:29:19,192 - There's a gun on the floor, sir! - Just leave it. i's all right. 355 00:29:19,273 --> 00:29:22,390 - The tea, please. - Of course, sir. 356 00:29:24,273 --> 00:29:28,630 Mr Pahpshmir, have you ever seen sensory-induced hypnosis? 357 00:29:28,713 --> 00:29:30,669 l think l just have. 358 00:29:30,753 --> 00:29:33,392 How will she get near the target? 359 00:29:33,473 --> 00:29:37,261 Oh, l doubt whether it will be her. 360 00:29:37,353 --> 00:29:40,902 Good secretaries are so hard to find these days. 361 00:29:40,993 --> 00:29:43,507 And it seems to me... 362 00:29:44,713 --> 00:29:47,944 anyone...can be an assassin. 363 00:29:51,273 --> 00:29:55,744 l had 24 hours to find something to clear my friend's name. 364 00:29:55,833 --> 00:29:58,666 l returned to the hospital with Ludwig's records 365 00:29:58,753 --> 00:30:01,142 to try to jog Nordberg's memory. 366 00:30:01,233 --> 00:30:04,782 Doctor, l have the chart, if you're ready to go over it. 367 00:30:04,873 --> 00:30:07,865 l'll be with you when I�ve finished with Mr Nordberg. 368 00:30:07,953 --> 00:30:09,944 Yes, Doctor. 369 00:30:15,273 --> 00:30:17,833 You'll be out of here in a couple of... 370 00:30:23,633 --> 00:30:27,262 - I�d like to see Officer Nordberg. - Sign in, please. 371 00:30:27,353 --> 00:30:30,550 Wait a minute! Where's the police guard? 372 00:30:30,633 --> 00:30:34,421 - Drebin called and sent him home. - Drebin? 373 00:30:34,513 --> 00:30:39,906 l must kill Nordberg. l must kill Nordberg. 374 00:30:39,993 --> 00:30:43,110 Drebin, Police Squad! Let go of that pillow! 375 00:31:11,353 --> 00:31:14,106 Medical emergency! 376 00:31:20,273 --> 00:31:23,868 Drebin, Police Squad. Follow that black car! 377 00:31:25,633 --> 00:31:27,703 The car! Follow that car! 378 00:31:27,793 --> 00:31:31,263 Stephanie, check your mirror. Signal. 379 00:31:31,353 --> 00:31:33,708 Now pull into traffic. 380 00:31:36,753 --> 00:31:38,823 Try and ease off on the brake. 381 00:31:40,993 --> 00:31:44,872 - Give it a little gas. - l know a short cut. Turn left here! 382 00:31:48,073 --> 00:31:50,348 - There he is! - Easy! 383 00:32:04,833 --> 00:32:06,505 Turn right! Follow him! 384 00:32:06,593 --> 00:32:10,347 i's OK. Normally, you would not be going 65 385 00:32:10,433 --> 00:32:13,391 down the wrong way of a one-way street. 386 00:32:15,233 --> 00:32:17,189 Apply the brakes. 387 00:32:18,113 --> 00:32:19,865 Now put it in reverse. 388 00:32:27,073 --> 00:32:29,382 - You dumb broad! - Stephanie... 389 00:32:29,473 --> 00:32:31,589 Gently extend your arm. 390 00:32:33,233 --> 00:32:36,543 Extend your middle finger. 391 00:32:39,193 --> 00:32:42,151 - Very good. Well done. - There he is! 392 00:32:42,233 --> 00:32:44,588 Go for it, Stephanie! 393 00:33:27,913 --> 00:33:29,744 Excuse me. Excuse me. 394 00:33:29,833 --> 00:33:33,143 All right, move on! Nothing to see here! 395 00:33:33,233 --> 00:33:35,588 Please disperse! 396 00:33:35,673 --> 00:33:38,107 Nothing to see here. Please! 397 00:33:40,393 --> 00:33:44,750 The attempt on Nordberg's life left me shaken and disturbed. 398 00:33:44,833 --> 00:33:47,586 The questions kept coming up again and again, 399 00:33:47,673 --> 00:33:49,664 like bubbles in a case of soda. 400 00:33:50,673 --> 00:33:52,948 Who was this character in the hospital? 401 00:33:53,033 --> 00:33:56,708 Why was he trying to kill Nordberg...and for whom? 402 00:33:56,793 --> 00:34:00,547 Did Ludwig lie to me? l didn't have any proof, 403 00:34:00,633 --> 00:34:03,101 but somehow, l didn't entirely trust him. 404 00:34:03,193 --> 00:34:06,822 Why was the ''l Luv You'' not listed in Ludwig's records? 405 00:34:06,913 --> 00:34:09,552 lf it was, did he know about it? 406 00:34:09,633 --> 00:34:11,783 lf he didn't, who did? 407 00:34:11,873 --> 00:34:13,989 And where the hell was l? 408 00:34:16,833 --> 00:34:19,347 i was almost midnight when l got home. 409 00:34:19,433 --> 00:34:22,072 l just wanted to slip under my blankets, 410 00:34:22,153 --> 00:34:25,429 but my night was just about to begin. 411 00:35:02,633 --> 00:35:04,988 You're late. 412 00:35:06,113 --> 00:35:08,673 That depends on what l'm late for. 413 00:35:08,753 --> 00:35:11,711 You said we should have dinner some time. 414 00:35:11,793 --> 00:35:14,546 Tonight became ''some time''. 415 00:35:15,953 --> 00:35:18,023 l'm boiling a roast. 416 00:35:20,193 --> 00:35:22,582 How hot and wet do you like it? 417 00:35:22,673 --> 00:35:27,701 Very hot and awfully wet. 418 00:35:27,793 --> 00:35:31,388 You seem to know your way around a kitchen. 419 00:35:31,473 --> 00:35:34,783 l'm just as handy in other rooms of the house. 420 00:35:34,873 --> 00:35:37,103 That shirt looks familiar. 421 00:35:37,193 --> 00:35:41,266 i's yours. l didn't want to get stained or wrinkled. 422 00:35:41,353 --> 00:35:44,231 At least...not yet. 423 00:35:47,353 --> 00:35:51,232 Do you mind if l slip into something more comfortable? 424 00:35:57,313 --> 00:35:59,702 There. That's better. 425 00:36:01,793 --> 00:36:04,705 l hope you've brought your appetite. 426 00:36:04,793 --> 00:36:06,590 I�ve brought everything. 427 00:36:06,673 --> 00:36:09,187 Well, then, dig in. 428 00:36:13,793 --> 00:36:18,150 interesting. Almost as interesting as the photographs l saw today. 429 00:36:18,233 --> 00:36:20,508 l was young. l needed the work. 430 00:36:20,593 --> 00:36:23,585 No, they were taken at Ludwig's docks. 431 00:36:23,673 --> 00:36:27,746 A ship came in, a Panamanian ship. i wasn't on Ludwig's records. 432 00:36:27,833 --> 00:36:30,028 Probably an oversight. 433 00:36:30,113 --> 00:36:33,310 How is your...meat? 434 00:36:36,233 --> 00:36:38,224 You be the judge of that. 435 00:36:41,753 --> 00:36:43,106 Mmm... 436 00:36:45,793 --> 00:36:48,148 I�ve got nine more. 437 00:36:52,873 --> 00:36:55,433 - Have you seen that ship? - l don't know. 438 00:36:55,513 --> 00:36:59,188 i doesn't look like ours, but we deal with so many ships. 439 00:36:59,273 --> 00:37:02,071 Has Officer Nordberg told you anything? 440 00:37:02,153 --> 00:37:06,032 No, there's been another attempt on his life. He's in a coma. 441 00:37:06,113 --> 00:37:10,231 That's terrible! This world is such a violent place. 442 00:37:10,313 --> 00:37:12,907 lf it wasn't, I�d be out of a job, 443 00:37:12,993 --> 00:37:17,509 but I�d give it up tomorrow to live in a world without crime. 444 00:37:18,673 --> 00:37:20,629 That's beautiful. 445 00:37:23,713 --> 00:37:26,432 This is all happening too fast. 446 00:37:29,073 --> 00:37:32,588 - I�ve been hurt before. - l'm sorry. 447 00:37:34,993 --> 00:37:36,949 I�d known her for years. 448 00:37:37,033 --> 00:37:40,264 We used to go to all the police functions together. 449 00:37:40,353 --> 00:37:43,425 How l loved her, but she had her music. 450 00:37:43,513 --> 00:37:46,186 l think she had her music. 451 00:37:46,273 --> 00:37:49,902 She'd hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. 452 00:37:49,993 --> 00:37:53,872 l don't recall her playing an instrument or being able to sing. 453 00:37:53,953 --> 00:37:56,786 Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. 454 00:37:56,873 --> 00:38:01,742 l bought her a harp for Christmas. She asked me what it was. 455 00:38:04,073 --> 00:38:06,428 i's the same old story. Boy finds girl. 456 00:38:06,513 --> 00:38:09,073 Boy loses girl. Girl finds boy. 457 00:38:09,153 --> 00:38:12,111 Boy forgets girl. Boy remembers girl. 458 00:38:12,193 --> 00:38:14,343 Girl dies in a blimp accident 459 00:38:14,433 --> 00:38:17,186 over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day. 460 00:38:17,273 --> 00:38:20,231 - Goodyear? - No, the worst. 461 00:38:20,313 --> 00:38:21,985 Poor dear! 462 00:38:25,233 --> 00:38:28,509 Now, now. l don't want to upset you. 463 00:38:28,593 --> 00:38:31,471 Frank, it's not that. 464 00:38:31,553 --> 00:38:33,862 Why did you have to be so wonderful? 465 00:38:35,353 --> 00:38:39,949 - There's something l must tell you. - No! No need to tell me anything. 466 00:38:40,033 --> 00:38:42,831 What's in the past doesn't matter anyway. 467 00:38:42,913 --> 00:38:44,266 Maybe... 468 00:38:44,353 --> 00:38:49,108 Maybe we're just two lonely souls who have found each other. 469 00:38:52,833 --> 00:38:55,142 Funny-face! 470 00:39:12,193 --> 00:39:15,708 l want you to know... l practise safe sex. 471 00:39:15,793 --> 00:39:17,465 So do l. 472 00:40:47,473 --> 00:40:51,830 l had a wonderful day, Frank. l can't believe we just met yesterday. 473 00:40:52,673 --> 00:40:55,631 You really mean that? You're not just saying it, 474 00:40:55,713 --> 00:40:58,068 because we exchanged bodily fluids? 475 00:40:58,153 --> 00:41:01,384 No, l really mean it. You're very special. 476 00:41:01,473 --> 00:41:05,625 - Can l interest you in a nightcap? - No, thanks, l don't wear them. 477 00:41:05,713 --> 00:41:07,943 Actually, l'm on stake-out tonight. 478 00:41:08,033 --> 00:41:11,787 l'll be thinking about you. l'll call you tomorrow. 479 00:41:12,993 --> 00:41:14,472 OK. 480 00:41:20,713 --> 00:41:22,669 Good night! 481 00:41:32,593 --> 00:41:35,551 The answer's up there in Ludwig's office. 482 00:41:35,633 --> 00:41:38,466 Call it what you will - a hunch, women's intuition. 483 00:41:38,553 --> 00:41:40,669 Ludwig knows more than he's saying. 484 00:41:40,753 --> 00:41:44,587 A hunch won't stand up in court. Where are your hard facts? 485 00:41:44,673 --> 00:41:48,382 He's the only one except us who knew Nordberg was still alive. 486 00:41:48,473 --> 00:41:52,751 Next thing we know, some thug tries to knock him off. 487 00:41:52,833 --> 00:41:57,588 Maybe. But breaking into Ludwig's office is taking a big chance. 488 00:41:57,673 --> 00:42:00,983 l know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, 489 00:42:01,073 --> 00:42:04,065 crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan. 490 00:42:04,153 --> 00:42:06,109 There he is! 491 00:42:09,713 --> 00:42:12,785 Just trust me on this, Ed. l know l'm right. 492 00:42:12,873 --> 00:42:14,750 OK, but be careful. 493 00:42:14,833 --> 00:42:17,791 Get some sleep. l'll see you in the morning. 494 00:43:07,393 --> 00:43:09,349 Bingo! 495 00:43:54,113 --> 00:43:57,071 ''20,000,000 deposited, Omani Bank, Wurich, 496 00:43:57,153 --> 00:43:59,269 ''upon proof of Queen's death.'' 497 00:46:15,873 --> 00:46:18,023 Destroying property, arson... 498 00:46:18,113 --> 00:46:21,105 sexual assaui with a concrete dildo?! 499 00:46:21,193 --> 00:46:23,912 What the hell were you doing there? 500 00:46:23,993 --> 00:46:25,984 l'm sorry about that, Your Honour, 501 00:46:26,073 --> 00:46:30,146 but we believe Ludwig is involved in a plot to assassinate the Queen. 502 00:46:30,233 --> 00:46:33,862 That's ridiculous! Where is this ''evidence''? 503 00:46:33,953 --> 00:46:37,741 Well...it...burned in the f-fire. 504 00:46:37,833 --> 00:46:39,425 Gentlemen, 505 00:46:39,513 --> 00:46:43,711 Vincent Ludwig is one of the most respected members of this community. 506 00:46:43,793 --> 00:46:48,344 lf we're very nice to him, he will agree not to press charges. 507 00:46:48,433 --> 00:46:50,993 - Your Honour! - Did l make myself clear? 508 00:46:51,073 --> 00:46:53,587 Yes, Your Honour. Good day. 509 00:46:55,793 --> 00:46:57,749 Drebin! 510 00:46:57,833 --> 00:47:03,863 l don't want any more trouble like you had last year. That's my policy. 511 00:47:03,953 --> 00:47:08,981 When l see five weirdos dressed in togas stabbing a guy in a park, 512 00:47:09,073 --> 00:47:12,031 l shoot the bastards. That's my policy. 513 00:47:12,113 --> 00:47:18,666 That was a Shakespeare in the Park production of ''Julius Caesar''! 514 00:47:18,753 --> 00:47:23,224 - You killed five actors! Good ones. - Your Honour... 515 00:47:23,313 --> 00:47:27,465 Your presence at the Queen's reception tonight is not necessary. 516 00:47:27,553 --> 00:47:29,430 is that understood? 517 00:47:29,513 --> 00:47:32,471 We understand, Your Honour. Thank you. 518 00:47:54,513 --> 00:47:57,027 The plane has taxied to a stop. 519 00:47:57,113 --> 00:47:59,991 Any minute now we expect the doors to open 520 00:48:00,073 --> 00:48:02,541 and we'll get a glimpse of the Queen, 521 00:48:02,633 --> 00:48:06,512 as she begins her first visit to Los Angeles in five years. 522 00:48:06,593 --> 00:48:09,983 i's a balmy, beautiful evening too. 523 00:48:10,073 --> 00:48:13,349 She's going from here to a formal reception... 524 00:48:19,713 --> 00:48:21,465 - Jane! - Frank! 525 00:48:23,513 --> 00:48:26,471 l'm just making some dinner. Are you hungry? 526 00:48:26,553 --> 00:48:28,509 Maybe just a bite. 527 00:48:28,593 --> 00:48:31,551 Ludwig wanted me to ask you to meet him tonight. 528 00:48:31,633 --> 00:48:36,024 There is something you should know. l was in his place last night. 529 00:48:36,113 --> 00:48:40,743 How nice! Did he show you his Ming vases and rare oil paintings? 530 00:48:40,833 --> 00:48:44,985 Jane, l think that he's involved in a number of criminal activities. 531 00:48:45,073 --> 00:48:47,029 Frank, stop it! 532 00:48:47,113 --> 00:48:50,310 Vincent Ludwig is a well-respected, generous, kind man. 533 00:48:50,393 --> 00:48:53,510 - You don't know him like l do. - How's that? 534 00:48:53,593 --> 00:48:58,826 - What's that supposed to mean? - l'm sorry. l'm worried about you. 535 00:48:58,913 --> 00:49:02,872 l don't trust him and l don't want you mixed up in anything dangerous. 536 00:49:02,953 --> 00:49:06,070 Are Woo back in business? They closed down three years ago. 537 00:49:06,153 --> 00:49:10,988 Gee, has it been that long? l don't feel like Chinese tonight anyway. 538 00:49:12,673 --> 00:49:17,144 i's sweet of you to be concerned, but you're wrong about Vincent. 539 00:49:17,233 --> 00:49:20,862 He's such a gentleman. He's so generous. 540 00:49:20,953 --> 00:49:22,909 He just wants to talk with you 541 00:49:22,993 --> 00:49:26,110 to clear up any doubts you might have. 542 00:49:26,193 --> 00:49:28,184 - When? - Tonight. 543 00:49:28,273 --> 00:49:31,026 Meet him at the 7th Street stockyards. 544 00:49:31,113 --> 00:49:33,866 All right, but promise you'll be careful. 545 00:49:33,953 --> 00:49:37,423 Of course l will, funny-face, for you. 546 00:49:38,633 --> 00:49:41,306 I�ve got to go. See you tomorrow. 547 00:49:41,393 --> 00:49:45,068 Are you sure you won't have something to eat? 548 00:50:09,193 --> 00:50:11,343 Ludwig? 549 00:50:11,433 --> 00:50:14,391 - Drebin? - Yeah, l'm Drebin. 550 00:50:14,473 --> 00:50:18,068 l have a message for you from Vincent Ludwig. 551 00:50:20,873 --> 00:50:22,829 l'm sorry, l can't hear you! 552 00:50:22,913 --> 00:50:25,791 Don't fire the gun while you're talking. 553 00:50:47,393 --> 00:50:52,023 All right, put your gun down and your hands up! 554 00:51:24,353 --> 00:51:26,992 Matthews, stake out that end, 555 00:51:27,073 --> 00:51:30,986 and card-check for anyone suspicious looking. 556 00:51:31,073 --> 00:51:33,064 Frank, what are you doing here? 557 00:51:33,153 --> 00:51:36,782 I�ve been trading shots with one of Ludwig's goons. 558 00:51:36,873 --> 00:51:40,422 They're planning to do her tonight, here. 559 00:51:40,513 --> 00:51:45,268 - We better be on the lookout. - Excuse me, ma'am, security. 560 00:51:47,033 --> 00:51:51,549 - What's the meaning of this? - Relax! Nothing will happen. 561 00:51:51,633 --> 00:51:54,591 - l didn't do anything. - Yeah? What about this? 562 00:51:54,673 --> 00:51:58,825 You think we were born yesterday? You didn't do anything, huh? 563 00:51:58,913 --> 00:52:00,426 l got rights! 564 00:52:00,513 --> 00:52:03,630 Ed, he's got a picture of your wife! 565 00:52:03,713 --> 00:52:05,669 Ethel! 566 00:52:07,193 --> 00:52:09,753 All right, anyone else here seeing his wife? 567 00:52:09,833 --> 00:52:13,064 That's all right, Frank. Let's get in the hall. 568 00:52:23,433 --> 00:52:25,389 Are you enjoying yourself, my dear? 569 00:52:25,473 --> 00:52:29,910 l'm so excited to be here. l appreciate your inviting me. 570 00:52:29,993 --> 00:52:33,668 Pleasure's all mine. Perhaps afterwards we can... 571 00:52:35,793 --> 00:52:37,545 - Drebin! - Frank! 572 00:52:37,633 --> 00:52:40,625 You're both right. Surprised to see me, Mr Ludwig? 573 00:52:40,713 --> 00:52:43,511 This is not the time or place to talk. 574 00:52:43,593 --> 00:52:46,061 i's way past the time we talked. 575 00:52:46,153 --> 00:52:48,508 The gloves are off, l'm playing hardball. 576 00:52:48,593 --> 00:52:52,711 i's fourth and fifteen, and you're looking at a full court press. 577 00:52:52,793 --> 00:52:56,581 Mr Drebin! lf you have evidence, then use it. 578 00:52:56,673 --> 00:53:00,461 lf not, l am warning you - get off my back! 579 00:53:00,553 --> 00:53:02,509 Or it will cost you dearly. 580 00:53:05,153 --> 00:53:09,192 - Frank, what's wrong? - A lot of things, sweetie-pie. 581 00:53:09,273 --> 00:53:12,822 A meeting that turned into a peek-a-boo session with bullets, 582 00:53:12,913 --> 00:53:16,030 set up by someone who's been playing me like a violin. 583 00:53:16,113 --> 00:53:18,786 Funny-face, what are you talking about? 584 00:53:18,873 --> 00:53:22,752 My stockyard meeting, butter-wings. Don't you remember setting that up? 585 00:53:22,833 --> 00:53:25,870 Mr Ludwig said you'd called it off! Believe me! 586 00:53:25,953 --> 00:53:28,183 Thumb me another one, shuckie-lumps! 587 00:53:28,273 --> 00:53:30,912 Frank, it's the truth! 588 00:53:30,993 --> 00:53:34,781 Cops and women don't mix. Like eating a spoonful of Drano. 589 00:53:34,873 --> 00:53:38,548 it�ll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside. 590 00:53:38,633 --> 00:53:40,589 Too bad, sugar-puff. 591 00:53:41,953 --> 00:53:44,592 We could have been something. 592 00:53:44,673 --> 00:53:47,233 l only did what l was told to do! 593 00:53:47,313 --> 00:53:49,543 - Like make love to me? - Frank! 594 00:53:51,193 --> 00:53:53,309 That makes things easier, Princess. 595 00:53:53,393 --> 00:53:56,590 To think l trusted you! l made a big mistake. 596 00:53:56,673 --> 00:54:00,109 - You can take this back. - Whose is that? 597 00:54:02,113 --> 00:54:06,152 Doesn't matter. Take care of yourself, baby. 598 00:54:07,473 --> 00:54:09,304 By the way... 599 00:54:09,393 --> 00:54:11,270 l faked every orgasm. 600 00:54:12,193 --> 00:54:14,149 Funny-face! 601 00:54:14,913 --> 00:54:17,347 And to commemorate our friendship, 602 00:54:17,433 --> 00:54:21,790 the city of Los Angeles is proud to present to the Royal Family 603 00:54:21,873 --> 00:54:27,743 this Revolutionary War musket, donated by Mr Vincent Ludwig. 604 00:54:29,033 --> 00:54:32,105 Ladies and gentlemen, Her Royal Highness, 605 00:54:32,193 --> 00:54:34,912 Queen Elizabeth ll! 606 00:55:08,593 --> 00:55:13,189 i's disgusting the way they splash this stuff all over the newspapers! 607 00:55:13,273 --> 00:55:15,787 What is journalism coming to? 608 00:55:15,873 --> 00:55:19,343 You're laying on top of the Queen with her legs wrapped around you 609 00:55:19,433 --> 00:55:20,946 and they call that news! 610 00:55:21,073 --> 00:55:24,429 They can't kick you off the Force, it's not fair. 611 00:55:24,513 --> 00:55:27,266 l know. Life isn't always fair. 612 00:55:27,353 --> 00:55:32,552 Just think, the next time l shoot someone, l could be arrested. 613 00:55:32,633 --> 00:55:34,669 Hey, look at that! 614 00:55:34,753 --> 00:55:39,668 The missing evidence in the Kilner case! My God, he WAS innocent! 615 00:55:39,753 --> 00:55:42,904 He went to the chair two years ago, Frank. 616 00:55:42,993 --> 00:55:46,224 Well...what's the use? 617 00:55:46,313 --> 00:55:49,271 What good are these damn awards and citations? 618 00:55:49,353 --> 00:55:50,911 Frank... 619 00:55:50,993 --> 00:55:53,427 Frank, that's not your desk! 620 00:55:53,513 --> 00:55:56,710 Frank! I�ve been looking all over for you! 621 00:55:56,793 --> 00:55:59,751 Running another errand for your boyfriend? 622 00:55:59,833 --> 00:56:03,269 l tried to call last night. l went by your place. Where were you? 623 00:56:03,353 --> 00:56:05,662 l was out walking. All night. 624 00:56:05,753 --> 00:56:08,631 Listen to me! l have important information. 625 00:56:08,713 --> 00:56:12,308 There was never anything between Vincent and me. 626 00:56:12,393 --> 00:56:15,624 - He likes East German men. - What about you? 627 00:56:15,713 --> 00:56:17,783 l like cops. 628 00:56:17,873 --> 00:56:21,582 - All right! Yeah! - Settle down. Take it easy. 629 00:56:22,673 --> 00:56:25,471 - What've you got? - l overheard Ludwig. 630 00:56:25,553 --> 00:56:30,468 You were right. He is planning to have someone assassinate the Queen! 631 00:56:30,553 --> 00:56:32,828 - Where? - At the baseball game. 632 00:56:32,913 --> 00:56:36,189 The Queen will be there as Ludwig's guest. 633 00:56:36,273 --> 00:56:40,232 is Ludwig going to shoot her in front of 60,000 fans? 634 00:56:40,313 --> 00:56:42,986 No, a player, during the 7th inning stretch. 635 00:56:43,073 --> 00:56:45,792 - i starts in 20 minutes. - l'll go. 636 00:56:45,873 --> 00:56:48,751 - l'll go with you. - Stay with Ludwig 637 00:56:48,833 --> 00:56:51,950 - to allay suspicion. - OK, let's go! 638 00:56:52,033 --> 00:56:53,751 Wait! Wait! 639 00:56:53,833 --> 00:56:57,746 I�ve gotten you into enough trouble already. l'll go alone. 640 00:56:57,833 --> 00:57:02,543 No! This'll get you back on the Force. We're right behind you. 641 00:57:05,273 --> 00:57:09,346 Frank? l wanted you to know now, 642 00:57:09,433 --> 00:57:13,551 I�ve loved you since the first day l met you, and l'll never stop. 643 00:57:13,633 --> 00:57:15,589 l'm a very lucky woman. 644 00:57:16,153 --> 00:57:17,506 So am l. 645 00:57:25,513 --> 00:57:29,825 Good afternoon. We're coming live from the Big A, 646 00:57:29,913 --> 00:57:32,950 where the California Angels meet the Seattle Mariners 647 00:57:33,033 --> 00:57:37,185 in their showdown for the Division League. 648 00:57:37,273 --> 00:57:40,868 Hello! l'm Curt Gowdy, along with Jim Palmer, 649 00:57:40,953 --> 00:57:43,911 Tim McCarver, Dick Vitale, Mel Allen, 650 00:57:43,993 --> 00:57:47,065 Dick Enberg and Dr Joyce Brothers. 651 00:57:47,153 --> 00:57:49,792 Join us for this all-important ball game. 652 00:57:49,873 --> 00:57:51,545 And a special game it is. 653 00:57:51,633 --> 00:57:55,308 As we know, it is being attended by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth. 654 00:57:55,393 --> 00:57:57,953 l'm sure she'll enjoy this game, Jim. 655 00:57:58,993 --> 00:58:00,984 We've got all the exits covered. 656 00:58:01,073 --> 00:58:03,064 l ought to arrest Ludwig right now. 657 00:58:03,153 --> 00:58:06,862 No, we've got to let him make the first move. 658 00:58:06,953 --> 00:58:10,502 The Mayor would have you arrested. You've got to stay out of sight. 659 00:58:10,593 --> 00:58:13,153 I�ve got to get that assassin. 660 00:58:13,233 --> 00:58:15,303 i could be any of those players. 661 00:58:15,393 --> 00:58:18,783 I�ve got to get down on that field and search those players. 662 00:58:18,873 --> 00:58:22,263 Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and welcome 663 00:58:22,353 --> 00:58:24,821 Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth ll! 664 00:58:33,193 --> 00:58:35,149 One moment. 665 00:58:37,113 --> 00:58:39,946 Over there - these seats are taken. 666 00:58:54,873 --> 00:58:58,263 My dear, is something bothering you? 667 00:58:58,353 --> 00:58:59,991 No, why do you ask? 668 00:59:00,073 --> 00:59:04,112 You haven't said a word. You seem...nervous. 669 00:59:04,193 --> 00:59:08,664 Well, you know how important this game is for the Angels. 670 00:59:08,753 --> 00:59:12,189 Why he not here now? l do not like to wait for him. 671 00:59:12,273 --> 00:59:17,825 Mr Pallazzo, our head usher will be here in two minutes. Please wait. 672 00:59:17,913 --> 00:59:22,111 - He should be here now! - l'll send him right over. 673 00:59:22,193 --> 00:59:25,151 l do not wait for him! He waits for me! 674 00:59:29,633 --> 00:59:31,988 - Yes? - Mr Pallazzo? 675 00:59:32,073 --> 00:59:35,622 l am the head usher. l am here to... Excuse me. 676 00:59:41,073 --> 00:59:44,383 - Mr Pallazzo? - Yes? 677 00:59:44,473 --> 00:59:48,307 - l am the head usher. - One second. 678 00:59:48,393 --> 00:59:49,826 Ladies and gentlemen, 679 00:59:49,913 --> 00:59:54,065 on behalf of the California Angels and the City of Los Angeles, 680 00:59:54,153 --> 00:59:56,462 on the occasion of the royal visit, 681 00:59:56,553 --> 00:59:59,909 please welcome internationally-renowned opera star, 682 00:59:59,993 --> 01:00:02,302 Enrico Pallazzo! 683 01:00:05,113 --> 01:00:08,469 Ladies and gentlemen, let us honour America, 684 01:00:08,553 --> 01:00:14,264 as Mr Pallazzo will now sing our national anthem. 685 01:01:32,553 --> 01:01:36,466 And now we'll wait for the exchange of line-ups 686 01:01:36,553 --> 01:01:38,748 and the start of today's ball game. 687 01:01:46,873 --> 01:01:51,424 Excuse me, could you tell me, is this an official bat? 688 01:01:54,593 --> 01:01:58,029 The Queen's visit has brought a sell-out crowd! 689 01:01:58,113 --> 01:02:02,231 And the fans are being entertained by the stadium's Angel Vision, 690 01:02:02,313 --> 01:02:06,022 showing some unusual moments in baseball over the years! 691 01:02:25,473 --> 01:02:27,429 Sorry, fellas! 692 01:02:54,153 --> 01:02:56,348 How about that? 693 01:02:58,033 --> 01:02:59,751 Ladies and gentlemen, 694 01:02:59,833 --> 01:03:04,190 now taking the field - your California Angels! 695 01:03:10,753 --> 01:03:13,711 For everybody's safety, 696 01:03:13,793 --> 01:03:17,866 we ask that you do not throw any objects on the field. 697 01:03:17,953 --> 01:03:20,342 We thank you for your co-operation. 698 01:03:22,913 --> 01:03:27,270 As the Angels take the field, we're ready for the first pitch ceremony 699 01:03:27,353 --> 01:03:31,187 with the Queen of England ready to toss out the first ball. 700 01:03:34,473 --> 01:03:38,386 How about that? Let's have a round of applause! 701 01:03:38,473 --> 01:03:40,782 We're ready for the start, 702 01:03:40,873 --> 01:03:43,706 as these lovely ladies would agree. 703 01:03:43,793 --> 01:03:47,183 Those are the players' wives, here to enjoy the game. 704 01:03:54,833 --> 01:03:57,870 What d'you say, Cummings? Are we gonna do this today? 705 01:03:57,953 --> 01:03:59,511 Do what? 706 01:03:59,593 --> 01:04:01,311 Play ball! 707 01:04:04,313 --> 01:04:07,146 Frank! Al, it's Frank! 708 01:04:11,913 --> 01:04:16,191 The game's under way. Dave Spiwack ready to face Jay Johnstone! 709 01:04:34,793 --> 01:04:37,830 - Nothing to report. - Don't worry, Al. 710 01:04:37,913 --> 01:04:41,223 lf one of the players is the killer, Frank'll find him, 711 01:04:41,313 --> 01:04:44,430 even if he has to search every one of them. 712 01:04:44,513 --> 01:04:47,744 ..lead-off hitter Jay Johnstone. 713 01:04:47,833 --> 01:04:51,667 Hello, pal. Let's see if that uniform's on straight. 714 01:04:51,753 --> 01:04:56,429 Good here. Now let's see the shirt. You should take a large. 715 01:04:56,513 --> 01:04:59,505 i's a little tight in the crotch. 716 01:04:59,593 --> 01:05:01,902 All right? All set? 717 01:05:04,073 --> 01:05:06,541 OK, play ball! 718 01:05:33,913 --> 01:05:35,790 Strike? 719 01:05:38,993 --> 01:05:41,188 Yeah, strike! 720 01:05:53,593 --> 01:05:57,586 Stee-rike two! 721 01:06:12,073 --> 01:06:17,193 Stee-rike three! 722 01:07:04,913 --> 01:07:06,665 You're clean! 723 01:08:52,873 --> 01:08:54,386 Have you found him yet? 724 01:08:54,473 --> 01:08:56,941 No, and I�ve searched almost everybody. 725 01:08:57,033 --> 01:09:01,026 Yeah. There's only one more out before the seventh inning stretch. 726 01:09:01,113 --> 01:09:05,425 You're going to have to stall them. Don't let 'em get that third out. 727 01:09:05,513 --> 01:09:07,105 Right. 728 01:09:08,633 --> 01:09:14,310 The Mariners' number four - Armando Criscione! Criscione! 729 01:09:21,233 --> 01:09:24,066 - Ball! - Ball? 730 01:09:34,073 --> 01:09:35,631 Ball! 731 01:09:46,433 --> 01:09:48,993 Get...get...what the...? Get off! 732 01:09:50,033 --> 01:09:51,989 Catch it! Catch it! 733 01:09:56,273 --> 01:09:58,264 - Get 'em off! - Go, go, go! 734 01:10:02,353 --> 01:10:04,867 - Safe! - What do you mean, safe? 735 01:10:04,953 --> 01:10:06,989 l don't believe it! 736 01:10:08,993 --> 01:10:10,745 Second base! On two! 737 01:10:11,873 --> 01:10:13,864 There's a throw by the catcher 738 01:10:13,953 --> 01:10:17,229 and now they've got Criscione hung up between 1st and 2nd! 739 01:10:17,313 --> 01:10:19,349 What the hell are you doing? 740 01:10:19,433 --> 01:10:20,548 What? 741 01:10:20,633 --> 01:10:25,229 - You're not supposed to do that! - Wait a minute! Stop that! 742 01:10:25,313 --> 01:10:27,907 Put that back down! Give me the ball! 743 01:10:30,433 --> 01:10:31,991 l'll get you! 744 01:10:32,073 --> 01:10:34,268 i's hard to believe, 745 01:10:34,353 --> 01:10:37,902 but apparently the umpires have got Criscione in a run-down! 746 01:10:40,513 --> 01:10:42,185 - Safe! - Safe? 747 01:10:42,273 --> 01:10:43,626 How about that? 748 01:10:43,713 --> 01:10:45,465 - Out! - Safe! 749 01:10:45,553 --> 01:10:47,464 - Out! - He was safe! 750 01:10:47,553 --> 01:10:48,702 - Out! - Safe! 751 01:10:48,793 --> 01:10:51,182 There's a sight I�ve never seen! 752 01:10:52,873 --> 01:10:54,750 - Safe! - What are you doing? 753 01:10:54,833 --> 01:10:56,312 Safe! Safe! Safe! 754 01:10:56,393 --> 01:10:59,066 - He was out! - He was safe! 755 01:10:59,153 --> 01:11:01,826 You idiot! He was out! 756 01:11:01,913 --> 01:11:04,188 All right, you're out of here! 757 01:11:04,273 --> 01:11:07,231 - What? - You can't throw an umpire out! 758 01:11:07,313 --> 01:11:09,747 All right, YOU'RE out! 759 01:11:10,793 --> 01:11:14,786 Hold on! Even the guy running the scoreboard says he was out! 760 01:11:14,873 --> 01:11:18,070 And he's up in the mezzanine! 761 01:11:18,153 --> 01:11:19,506 i's the third out! 762 01:11:36,153 --> 01:11:39,145 l must kill...the Queen. 763 01:11:43,633 --> 01:11:46,101 l must kill...the Queen. 764 01:11:48,713 --> 01:11:50,669 Frank, it's the right-fielder! 765 01:11:56,713 --> 01:12:00,308 - You're the boss! - i was safe. 766 01:12:00,393 --> 01:12:02,861 Now, we're going to take a walk. 767 01:12:03,233 --> 01:12:05,986 How could you do something so vicious? 768 01:12:06,073 --> 01:12:10,749 i was easy. Don't forget l spent two years as a building contractor. 769 01:12:10,833 --> 01:12:12,983 Now, let's go quietly. 770 01:12:17,313 --> 01:12:19,304 Hey, look at that! Let's get him! 771 01:12:30,113 --> 01:12:32,229 Kick him in the balls! 772 01:13:03,873 --> 01:13:06,751 l must kill...the Queen. 773 01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:19,145 Look out! 774 01:13:23,953 --> 01:13:28,105 The umpire... He saved the Queen's life! 775 01:13:28,193 --> 01:13:30,149 That's not the umpire, Your Honour. 776 01:13:34,153 --> 01:13:36,109 Hey, it's Enrico Pallazzo! 777 01:13:46,633 --> 01:13:49,591 Frank! Frank, help! 778 01:13:49,673 --> 01:13:52,551 Frank! Frank, help! Frank! 779 01:14:06,713 --> 01:14:08,544 Hold it, Ludwig! 780 01:14:08,633 --> 01:14:10,908 Stay where you are! 781 01:14:10,993 --> 01:14:13,348 - He's got a gun! - l know. 782 01:14:13,433 --> 01:14:16,982 You ruined my life. Now l'm going to ruin yours. 783 01:14:17,073 --> 01:14:19,951 - Leave the girl alone! - l am. l'm going to kill you. 784 01:14:20,033 --> 01:14:21,989 l see. 785 01:14:25,273 --> 01:14:27,389 Two can play at that game! 786 01:14:33,673 --> 01:14:36,426 - You killed him! - No, just stunned. 787 01:14:36,513 --> 01:14:38,390 He'll be all right. 788 01:14:44,513 --> 01:14:46,265 Well... 789 01:15:10,673 --> 01:15:13,631 Frank...it's horrible! 790 01:15:14,793 --> 01:15:18,752 - i's so horrible! - l know, Ed. 791 01:15:19,353 --> 01:15:21,309 My father went the same way. 792 01:15:36,353 --> 01:15:40,392 l must kill...Frank Drebin. 793 01:15:40,473 --> 01:15:43,431 l must kill...Frank Drebin. 794 01:15:44,473 --> 01:15:46,623 No, no, don't shoot! 795 01:15:46,953 --> 01:15:50,662 Jane...it's me... 796 01:15:52,913 --> 01:15:54,266 Funny-face. 797 01:15:54,353 --> 01:15:58,028 l must kill Frank Drebin. 798 01:15:58,113 --> 01:16:00,786 You love Frank Drebin. 799 01:16:00,873 --> 01:16:03,751 And Frank Drebin loves you. 800 01:16:03,833 --> 01:16:07,587 Jane, if you don't love me, you might as well pull that trigger, 801 01:16:07,673 --> 01:16:13,225 because without you, l wouldn't want to live anyway. 802 01:16:13,313 --> 01:16:16,623 I�ve finally found someone l can love - 803 01:16:16,713 --> 01:16:20,706 a good, clean love... without utensils. 804 01:16:20,793 --> 01:16:23,512 l must kill Frank Drebin. 805 01:16:24,633 --> 01:16:26,908 i's a topsy-turvy world, Jane, 806 01:16:26,993 --> 01:16:31,430 and maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans, 807 01:16:31,513 --> 01:16:34,903 but this is our hill and these are our beans. 808 01:16:36,353 --> 01:16:40,710 Since l met you, I�ve noticed things l never knew where there - 809 01:16:40,793 --> 01:16:44,388 birds singing, dew glistening on a newly-formed leaf, 810 01:16:44,473 --> 01:16:46,748 stop lights... 811 01:16:46,833 --> 01:16:48,425 l must kill... 812 01:16:48,513 --> 01:16:51,744 Jane, this morning... 813 01:16:51,833 --> 01:16:55,872 l bought something for you. i's not very much, 814 01:16:55,953 --> 01:17:00,868 but pretty good for an honest policeman's salary. 815 01:17:00,953 --> 01:17:02,830 i's an engagement ring. 816 01:17:02,913 --> 01:17:04,869 I�d have given it to you earlier, 817 01:17:04,953 --> 01:17:08,070 but l wanted to wait until we were alone. 818 01:17:12,073 --> 01:17:14,951 - l... - l love you, Jane. 819 01:17:20,153 --> 01:17:21,905 Oh, Frank! 820 01:17:33,833 --> 01:17:35,983 l'm sorry! 821 01:17:46,153 --> 01:17:50,465 l'm sorry that l yelled at you yesterday, l really am. 822 01:17:52,353 --> 01:17:53,672 Drebin! 823 01:17:53,753 --> 01:17:56,313 l was wrong about you. 824 01:17:56,393 --> 01:18:00,352 This city and the whole world owes you a debt of gratitude. 825 01:18:00,433 --> 01:18:01,582 Thank you. 826 01:18:01,673 --> 01:18:04,870 And Monday morning we want you back at Police Squad... 827 01:18:04,953 --> 01:18:08,787 - with a promotion to captain. - Mayor... 828 01:18:08,873 --> 01:18:13,389 Don't thank me. There's someone else here who wants to thank you. 829 01:18:13,473 --> 01:18:15,748 - Nordberg! - Hiya, buddy! 830 01:18:15,833 --> 01:18:18,586 The doc says l should be on my feet in a week! 831 01:18:18,673 --> 01:18:22,427 - And back on the Force! - Nordberg, that's wonderful! 832 01:18:23,713 --> 01:18:26,864 Frank! Everyone should have a friend like you! 833 01:18:27,000 --> 01:18:28,700 Subtitles by Dubis