1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,800 Translation: astrogirl Corrections: shuushuuma 2 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,400 >> www.subtitles.de << 3 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:33,360 Life is so sad, 4 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:38,840 I have no one to kiss, 5 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:43,880 love is not easy, 6 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:47,960 but I don't want to miss. 7 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:52,520 Out of this world 8 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:58,120 I will fly to the moon, 9 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:02,160 find me somebody 10 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:03,400 (Secret US Military Base) 11 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:07,720 to hug and kiss me soon. 12 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:12,960 Find me somebody 13 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:21,440 to hug and kiss me soon. 14 00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:32,800 Was the White House informed? No. The President is on the hustings. 15 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:36,880 Don't let it slip! It would provoke a global mass hysteria. 16 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:41,360 - We imposed a gag order. - Does the Pentagon think it's dangerous? 17 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,440 General, I commend Defcon 2. 18 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,840 Be careful, Sir. 19 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:06,240 - Oh my God! - Watcha lookin' at? 20 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,000 (300 years later) 21 00:02:56,080 --> 00:03:01,360 (Regulator) Once upon a time our ancestors came from Earth to colonize Mars. 22 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,160 Today we return to Earth... 23 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:08,280 to once and for all annilihate its petty inhabitants! 24 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:12,400 Jens, my trusty disciple, our vision has come true. 25 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,360 Earth is ours now! 26 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:47,920 Queen Metapha, we are defenseless. 27 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:53,120 The attack met us unprepared. Our fleet has been destroyed. 28 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:57,120 - How can that be? - They have our shield access codes! 29 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:01,200 They can even eavesdrop in on local calls. 30 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:06,800 - Majesty, we must surrender! - No, you cannot do that! 31 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,480 Pardon me. 32 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:13,480 Those Martians came down upon us like grasshoppers. 33 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,640 We can't just twiddle our thumbs now! 34 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:21,280 In two hours the Mars Regulator may be sitting there, on your throne! 35 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,960 - There could be one last chance. - What do you mean? 36 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,720 Time travel. 37 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:32,560 - That is unjustifiable. - But time travel is prohibited! 38 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:37,360 I think we can bend the rules a little. Please go on. 39 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:41,560 We must travel back in time and prevent the colonization of Mars. 40 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:46,920 - Thus, we prevent this war. - Absurd! We don't even know... 41 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:51,600 whether time travel is safe for humans. We've never tested it. 42 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:55,680 - And who would be able to do this? - I was thinking of... 43 00:04:56,240 --> 00:05:00,120 - the Surprise crew! - Oh Goodness! Those of all people! 44 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,760 'Cause we're so pretty and so canny and so slim and so slender 45 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:07,120 We'll be Miss Waikiki! 46 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:12,400 And shower to the left! And shower to the right! 47 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,280 And don't forget the soap! 48 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:18,440 One more time! And five, six, seven, eight 49 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:22,360 Five, six, seven, eight And touch and push! 50 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:26,320 And touch and push! And towel to the left! 51 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:30,480 And towel to the right! And don't forget the willy! 52 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:33,800 Dry the willy to the beat! 53 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:41,720 - You cannot be serious! - They are mankind's last hope. 54 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,680 Or are there any volunteers? 55 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:49,720 Are you saying that these... these people are the only ones... 56 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:54,040 - who can save the world? - If you really want to know, senator Eric: 57 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,720 Yes! 58 00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:01,400 We have no idea where they are. No word from them in years! 59 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,480 Then we have to find them, don't we? 60 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,040 There they are! 61 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:49,120 - How could they bear away this far? - Hail them! 62 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:52,200 - There are in the back of beyond! - I bet. 63 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:05,680 Captain's log no. 1 of our Traumschiff Surprise, Captain Kork. 64 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,080 It's way too chilly for this stardate. 65 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,280 All 40 men of my crew are in good health. 66 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:14,440 Only two have a slight cold. Guenther has blackboard duty for this week. 67 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:18,600 I am worried that in five months from now we'll run out of stamps. 68 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:22,800 Got to do something about that. Later. Today we have our yearly 69 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:26,960 health check. Looking forward to having my temperature taken. 70 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:31,160 If all is fine, I'll have a nice cutlet with french fries and ketchup, 71 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:35,840 a small mixed salad and a large root beer. 72 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:44,160 - The same fagging every year! - The Honolulu bathing season starts in two weeks! 73 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:48,440 You really need a flawless waistline if you want to be Miss Waikiki! 74 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:51,360 But it's really tough on my intervertebral discs. 75 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:52,720 Do Vulcanettes even have intervertebral discs? 76 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:56,560 - None of yours, you dumb cow! - He's not even a purebred Vulcanette. 77 00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:00,400 - Oh, I am! - No, you're a mongrel! 78 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:04,720 I am a Vulcanette Vulgaris. We can be up to 400 years old because we are 79 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,160 a type of Galapagos turtle! 80 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,800 - And what are you? - I'm the captain. 81 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:12,840 - You just screwed your way up! - Galapagos turtle! 82 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:13,480 That's why you're so slow! 83 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:18,160 And you have a baboon's ass! 84 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:22,000 (All) So? - Your values are disastrous, as always. 85 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:26,320 This is Groans. What's up? 86 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,720 Someone from Earth, for the captain. 87 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,080 I'm not here. 88 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:34,200 Tell Mr. Nasi to turn on the answering machine. 89 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:38,760 Got it? Groans out. Let's go! Get ready for the hovering test. 90 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,680 Yes! 91 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:45,720 There are certain difficulties in contacting the Surprise. 92 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:49,800 - But you have their coordinates! - Yes, but... there's just the machine. 93 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:50,880 What? What? 94 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:54,880 They're available from Monday through Friday from 4 to 5 pm. 95 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,920 Get that crew down here! There's not much time left! 96 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,920 Aye, Sir! Wonder what those guys are doing. 97 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:04,640 Picking nose and swinging balls! 98 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,440 Picking nose and swinging balls! 99 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:11,160 - Starting today it's push ups and knee bends. - Yeah sure, doc. 100 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:14,120 Commencing hovering test. 101 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:25,400 Goodness! Those asses won't move a bit. 102 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:30,600 Oh my, now what do we have here? 103 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:37,080 I better put this away before the captain bags it. 104 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:47,360 - Captain, aren't we supposed to be hovering? - Doc, why aren't we weightless? 105 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:52,240 Cheese cake and chocolates all the time! You're too fat to be weightless! 106 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:53,160 I used to be in the hovering club! 107 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:57,040 I was the youngest ever in the hovering marathon! 108 00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:00,880 I made my license in freestyle hovering when I was 12, and... 109 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:05,200 at the age of 14 I won the Little Gold Star at the national youth hovering contest in Swabia! 110 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:08,080 I am Hermes, messenger of the Gods! 111 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,720 Adieu! 112 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,840 Did you know he's got cellulitis? Honestly! In his room. 113 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:17,920 I'll get you! 114 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,200 Yes! I'm hovering! 115 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:27,920 Mr. Smock, come up here! It's wonderful up here! 116 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,240 - I can't! - He can't. C'mon, flat out, doc! 117 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:43,280 - Is that all you got? - I can't get that fat Vulcanette up. 118 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:53,200 - Hey, what's that? - Bloody cheek! 119 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:58,680 - What's going on there? - Geez, really! 120 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,480 - Hi! - That's mine. 121 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:09,040 - Who left his roller skates lying here? - There! 122 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:13,080 Miss Bora-Bora! Next time you'll have a one-week ban on cheese cake! 123 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:15,240 And out with that chewing gum! Mr. Nasi, what's the situation? 124 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,200 Ha, Captain! 125 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,080 (Nasi speaks Kantonese) 126 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,080 Did you understand what he just said, Mr. Smock? 127 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:36,200 - Bora stuck her tongue out at me! - That's no emergency, Mr. Nasi! 128 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:40,400 Captain, there's something going on. Someone sending an emergency signal. 129 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:45,080 - But it's quite faint. - Emergency signal? Who'd do something like that? 130 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:49,400 Captain? Careful, don't get too close. 131 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:53,920 The automatic control system shows a low sliding factor. 132 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:57,960 They use modulated pulsing vibrations... 133 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,920 to get through to us. 134 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:04,560 - So? - Shall we let them in? 135 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,000 We can't let that happen! 136 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,480 Never! Mutt speed! 137 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,200 Mutt speed! 138 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:22,480 Captain, with all due respect, but mutt speed's no dice right now. 139 00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:25,400 - Why not? - Pug's broken. - Well. Let's call it a day. 140 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,480 - Captain? - What now? 141 00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:31,680 I don't know what it is, but... 142 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:33,040 it's heading toward us. 143 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:37,840 Oh my, madness. What a stress! 144 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,200 Read it! 145 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:46,800 Red alert. 146 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:51,400 Set course for Earth and contact the government immediately. 147 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:55,600 No way! We're in the middle of training for the Miss Waikiki contest! 148 00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:59,480 We really have to prioritize here, right Mr. Smock? 149 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,800 - Captain? - Yes? 150 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:05,880 Disobeying orders can get you having your shore leave cancelled. 151 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:14,320 - Majesty, we have notice from the Surprise. - Finally. What do they write? 152 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:18,560 - "Need something from the convenience store?" - What do they mean? 153 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:22,800 - Maybe it's a code. - Ah! When do they get here? 154 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:27,000 - We have less than an hour! - 20 minutes on mutt speed. 155 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:31,680 - But there's a problem. -What? - Pug damage. 156 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:36,960 Yes, I know. I've been in treatment for a while. 157 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:44,560 I hope they don't try to beam. It would kill them over that distance. 158 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:48,120 Get ready to beam! Activate! Activate! 159 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:52,200 To be beamed or be beamed not you need to be on the right spot! 160 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,480 Shoo! 161 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,880 - Ouch! Spotty, you mad? - Mutiny! 162 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:16,400 - You'll have a single room on Honolulu! - Geez, really! - Those things happen on Economy. 163 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:20,920 Economy? You stupid? I'm the captain! You'll beam me on Business! 164 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:25,040 - The battery's too weak for Business. - That beam goat probably... 165 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:29,120 - left the lights on again. - Careful, here he comes. 166 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,760 Aha! Out with that! 167 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:40,200 - What is that? - Friendship rings. 168 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:44,760 >From a befriended DA. That's all I'll say about that. 169 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,840 And what's in your pants? 170 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:54,160 - None of yours! - Pants down. Pants down! 171 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,840 Yehes! 172 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:04,120 - Radiation protection. - What for? 173 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:08,160 - Beaming always gets on my balls. - Captain, I can't work like that! 174 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,240 Okay! But then you pay the cab! 175 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,880 - What is your report? - Grab a seat, Regulator! 176 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:23,960 Madam Metapha got real crazy boombastic plan! The plan is... 177 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,640 The Plan is... the plan... 178 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,720 Okay, I forget. Sorry, Regulator-man, listen! 179 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:36,440 I write information on paper and call you back later. Ok? 180 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,320 Walkie talkie, man! 181 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:44,400 What was that? Since when do dabblers work for my empire? 182 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:48,800 My Regulator, that one was a special offer at Rent-a-Spy. 183 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:53,440 Along we got this cactus for free. I can send him back. 184 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:57,480 - Make it so. But we'll keep the cactus. - Yes, master. 185 00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:01,560 Jens, my trusty disciple. I have a mission for you. - What? 186 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:07,200 Find out what those Earth maggots are planning, so I can finally crush them. 187 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,240 Crushing! That's good! 188 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:16,840 Bestow for the beautification of our ship! Bestow for the beautification of our ship! 189 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:19,920 Bestow for the beautification of our ship! 190 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:24,080 - Bestow for the beautification of our ship! - Well, yeah, okay. 191 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:27,040 Give her something! 192 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:30,360 Thanks! Save the whales! Find Nemo! 193 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:36,120 - Got your passport? Closed the window? - Yes, I even closed the jalousies. 194 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:40,200 I told you not to do that! Everyone will know we're not at home! 195 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,240 - Arguing again? - Go away. 196 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:45,320 - There's something on you head. - That is my travelling hat. 197 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:49,400 - Why do you need a travelling hat? - I'm paying the cab, so I'll come along. 198 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:53,400 - And what's that? - That's Jutta. My reading lamp. 199 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:57,480 - It's saved my life before. - What kind of junker is that? 200 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:01,000 - Bargaining again, huh? - I like it. 201 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:48,520 - Who of you ordered a cab? - Me! That was me! That was my idea! 202 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,880 - Who of you guys wants in the back? - (All) Me! Me! Me! 203 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,080 I want the window seat! 204 00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,320 - You cooing? - What? 205 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,360 - You're cooing over him! - No, I'm not. 206 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,440 - Then let him coo a little. - Shut up and look out the window. 207 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,120 - So, where to? - Earth. City of Government. 208 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,240 - Whoops! That'll be expensive. - Why's that? 209 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:20,440 Right now, it'd be easier to give someone plastic surgery during an earthquake 210 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:24,640 than to arrive there in one piece. They're firing heavy ordnance down there. 211 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:28,920 Oh yes, life vests and parachutes should be somewhere below that seat. 212 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:33,200 - Maybe we should get out of here? - He's just boasting. 213 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:37,280 No problem. Just fly. I am expected by the government. 214 00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:42,520 My name is Captain Kork. Capricorn. I am Hermes. Messenger of the Gods. 215 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:47,320 - And what is your name? - Rock. - Soft or Hard Rock? 216 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,120 Grab onto something! 217 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,520 (All) Yes! 218 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:31,440 You can now buy free goods. Anyone care for some music? 219 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,000 (All) Sure! 220 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,440 High, High, High-Ti-Tigh, 221 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:40,240 Space-Taxi to the sky. 222 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,600 High, High, High-Ti-Tigh, 223 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,920 Space-Taxi to the sky. 224 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:48,640 Space-Taxi to the sky. 225 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:49,800 Come on. 226 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,640 ... My little heart... ... so hot... 227 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,680 ... spread your legs apart... Check it out! 228 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:57,520 ... now let's start the show! Eenie meenie miny moe! 229 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,360 High, High, High-Ti-Tigh, 230 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,840 Space-Taxi to the sky. 231 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,280 High, High... 232 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,600 What's the commotion? 233 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:15,960 Okay girls, party's over. 234 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:22,320 I'll report that one! Spotty, keep that plate number in mind! 235 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:32,240 - Anyone got ink eraser? - And I went to the washing bay yesterday. 236 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:44,520 Just stop it! I'll be getting spots from all this stress! 237 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,840 Blow slowly, girls. You'll get dizzy. 238 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:17,720 Okay, now we have a problem. This is the captain. Don't mind the shaking. 239 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,880 We only lost our shields, one thruster went down... 240 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:26,040 - and the plasma tank is leaking. - I noticed that! The general condition of your... 241 00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:27,960 Sit down, man! 242 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,680 Turn right at the rotary. 243 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:52,080 You are approaching the exit. Geez, finally! 244 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:59,360 Turn right after 500 metres. Not so good right now. 245 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,920 You took the wrong turn! 246 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,440 C'mon, baby, don't let me down! 247 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:50,840 - Could you turn off the air conditioning? - Could you shut up for a second? 248 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,160 If possible, please reverse course. - Good idea! 249 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,000 Please wait. 250 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,400 Please hold the line. 251 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,880 You are approaching your destination. 252 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,040 Ensalada mista, Baby! 253 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:42,280 Don't be foolish. Your city is completely surrounded. 254 00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:46,360 My Cookie squadron will be ready to attack in a few minutes. 255 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:50,600 If you haven't signed the unconditional surrender by then 256 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:54,200 I will destroy you. 257 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:58,360 It is futile. We have to surrender while we still have a chance. 258 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:03,400 You are right. We cannot wait any longer for the crew of the Surprise. 259 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:16,560 - That must be them. - Heyho! Is the cheese cake ready? 260 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:21,040 Inform the queen! 261 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:29,280 - That was en vogue then. - I can't read that. 262 00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:31,360 - Rock. - Rock what? 263 00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:33,960 - Rock Thats-It. - What? 264 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:38,640 My ex-wife's name is Thats. Mine's It. That's it. 265 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:46,720 Thank you, Mr. Thats-It. You have been of great help to us. 266 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,840 What? And who'll pay for the damage? 267 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:53,840 - A new paint job will do, I think. - Yes! Pink Camouflage! 268 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:58,040 What? That was a 45 Space Cruiser, a lowrider with sport suspender! 269 00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:02,280 Trace elements made of Burmese titanium! It made double speed of light 270 00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:06,560 in less than 1.5 seconds! That kind of machine cannot be painted 271 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:11,240 - in Pink Camouflage! - Try to be sensible, Mr. Thats-It. 272 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:15,840 - Our problems are of a different nature. - Well, I don't care about your problems! 273 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:20,040 All I care about is that my cab is totalled because I had to 274 00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:24,440 - bring you these three molls! - I bet he's that small. 275 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:28,800 You guys pay for the repairs and I'm out of here. Okay? 276 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:33,720 And until that happens, I'll just sit here, on this chair, and wait. 277 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:38,040 Well, I don't know about you, but I could do with some coffee now. 278 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,240 - Chocolate? - Nooo! 279 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:07,800 - It's bitter chocolate by Rosetto. - It's the brand with the Rosetto-Moor. 280 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,800 I'm... 281 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:12,960 not ready for that. 282 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:17,960 - Who is that? - A cab driver. We still need to pay him. 283 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,080 Ladies and Gentlemen... 284 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:26,120 The chairman of the intercontinental security counsil. 285 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,800 Majesty! 286 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,680 Esteemed senators! 287 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:40,440 300 years ago, on July 22nd, 2004 at precisely 5.35 pm, 288 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:43,880 a UFO crashed into the desert of Nevada. 289 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:48,400 In that UFO, our scientists found information from a galaxy far far away. 290 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:52,480 It was only with that knowledge that we were able to colonize Mars. 291 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:57,400 We could prevent the colonization of Mars and thus, this war, 292 00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,400 by travelling into the year 2004 293 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,360 and destroying implied UFO. 294 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,600 But how can the UFO be completely neutralized? 295 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,520 With this Swiss laser! 296 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,600 Know a nice place to go clubbing? 297 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,040 - Captain? - Yes, right, absolutely! 298 00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:21,880 - That's how I would do it. - Good. Because it's you who will be doing it. 299 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,000 - What? - That'll be great. - We? No dice! 300 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:29,040 - That's totally impossible! - We don't have time for something like that. 301 00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:33,680 - We need to prepare for the Miss Waikiki contest. - If you refuse this mission, 302 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:37,760 - there will never be a Miss Waikiki contest again. - Bring in the time machine! 303 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:59,920 - Spotty, Smock, follow me. - I want the window seat! 304 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:04,000 Shouldn't we tell them the machine has never been tested? 305 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:10,360 Captain... you are our last best hope. 306 00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:16,240 - What? I'd rather send a monkey to do this. - Animal welfare wouldn't let us. 307 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:22,120 You should put on these glasses. Time travel is bad for your eyes. 308 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:26,280 The ignotion key will start the machine. With these coordinates 309 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,360 you set destination time and place. 310 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,280 - Stop it or we'll leave you here! - Confirm by pressing the green button. 311 00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:44,800 This button activates a countdown. Everything else is in this book. 312 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:49,360 Don't lose it! You'll never be able to return without it. And don't waste energy. 313 00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:54,360 - The manual! - Spotty, travelling with you is no fun at all! 314 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,440 I'll get it! 315 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:03,360 The Cookie squadron launches a large-scale attack! All exits are blocked! 316 00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:08,640 We must get you to a safe place. We have no choice. Get onto the time machine! 317 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,960 I'll stay here until my cab has been repaired! 318 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:20,800 Senator! There's something you need to know! 319 00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:22,680 What is it? 320 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,880 I forgot to pack my bra. 321 00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:31,440 - Here. Take mine. - Thank you! 322 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:33,400 It's okay. 323 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:37,400 Press the start button! 324 00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,120 Got it! 325 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,440 Spotty! Heel! 326 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:49,840 Maybe I'll find a better place to sit. 327 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:02,520 - Yee, here we go! - Spotty! 328 00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:08,720 This will have serious consequences! 329 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:13,160 - What are you doing here? - I wonder, too. - You're messing everything up! 330 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:17,240 - Does this thing have a seat heater? - No, but I sat there just a moment ago. 331 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:21,120 Spotty is sneaking out of this again! Now it'll be single room, definitely! 332 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:24,120 Brace yourself! Glasses on! 333 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,560 - I am glad to see you, Lord Shawl. - Boot licker. 334 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:05,720 - What's that? - Rosetto's bitter chocolate. 335 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:09,800 - It's the brand with the Rosetto-Moor. - Thanks. Kick off. 336 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:15,880 The government building of the Earth alliance was successfully taken over. - Excellent. 337 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:19,960 - All politicians were locked into the washhouse. - Perfect. 338 00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:24,800 - Metapha was able to escape on a time machine. - What? How could you let that happen, asshole? 339 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:30,560 Yes. You're right. But we were able to seize the manual of the time machine. 340 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,600 Goooood. 341 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:37,120 I'm going to make a phone call. 342 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:55,360 Wow! 343 00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:59,160 - It actually worked! - Unbelievable. 344 00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:03,480 - Now we can... - Prevent my wedding! - What? 345 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:07,640 - We could see Elvis live! - The end of the world is near 346 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:11,680 - and you think of Elvis? - I dreamed of football just now. 347 00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:15,840 I dreamed I was a pastry cook and shaped a quarterback from marzipan. 348 00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:19,920 I stuck a lucky coin on top of it and put it into the shop window next to the tarts. 349 00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:33,560 - What country did you enter? - I didn't enter anything. 350 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:37,520 - Captain! Get up! Look, a pony! - Where are we? 351 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:39,840 A petting zoo! 352 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:47,600 - Dammit! - Oh my! Rowdies everywhere! 353 00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,160 July 22nd, 1304. A short miss. 354 00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:06,480 - Neat thing you got us into. - I didn't do anything. 355 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,560 Then maybe you should do something now. 356 00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:15,520 Keep cool, princess. We'll be gone in a second. 357 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:35,960 Dear Romans! We came from the future to save the world! 358 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:39,160 Smocky, take a picture. 359 00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:45,160 Say cheeese cake! 360 00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,080 Witchcraft! Catch them! 361 00:34:57,240 --> 00:34:59,640 I'm out of here! 362 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:16,440 - Who is he? -Who? - He! - Ah, I see. 363 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:18,360 Who is he? 364 00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:22,680 Speak, you sleazy son of a dog! 365 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:27,960 - What did you do to the woman? - Is he of noble blood? 366 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:33,920 My name is Til Schweiger, and I make my living as an actor. 367 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:38,080 It's not much, but it's enough for two weeks of vacation in a year. 368 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:41,160 And what do you do, throne farter? 369 00:36:42,240 --> 00:36:46,240 Mylord, he is a liar. This man is certainly not an actor. 370 00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:50,640 But he has got guts. I was told he was a remarkable fighter. 371 00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:55,160 An important tournament takes place tomorrow. My honor is at stake, 372 00:36:55,240 --> 00:37:00,360 but my best horseman was overrun by the popemobile last week. Nasty thing. 373 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:04,880 - How about putting up danger signs? - Do we have danger signs? 374 00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:08,920 No, Sire, but Lord Andrew has some spare crosses. 375 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:13,800 - Yes! Put up Andrew's Crosses! - Hey, great idea! Can I go now? 376 00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:17,880 It is his fault my subsitute fell from his horse. 377 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:21,920 Hence, he will have to win the tournament for me tomorrow. 378 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:26,360 If he does, he is free. If he doesn't, he and his entourage will be hanged 379 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,440 and the woman will be mine. Cheers! 380 00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:35,840 But Sire! Only those of noble blood may take part in the tournaments! 381 00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,400 That's right. 382 00:37:40,720 --> 00:37:43,600 Hereby I knight you Sire of 383 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:45,680 of Behynde. 384 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:03,960 They travelled to the past to eradicate our existence. 385 00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:07,680 - This is bad news. - Well, yes. 386 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:12,080 - But I also have good news for you. - Go ahead. 387 00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:16,360 This book contains a time machine construction manual. 388 00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:21,600 - I turned my moped into one. - And? Does it work? 389 00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:25,800 Yes, it does, master! I just went and got the newspaper of tomorrow. 390 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:36,320 - They won't write about me. - For this to come true 391 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:40,400 you have to stop them! Can you trace their route? 392 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:45,000 Sure. I'll sniff them out with my sniff radar. 393 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,680 - Jens! - Master? 394 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:51,480 There is something you need to know. 395 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:53,640 What? 396 00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:58,680 Roughly 30 years ago a baby came along, you know. 397 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,000 Without sock and without shoe. 398 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:06,360 And that, dear Jens, was you. 399 00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:09,040 You lost me, my Regulator. 400 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,760 I... am... your father! 401 00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:17,920 Okay. You can count on me, daddy! Bye! 402 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:04,120 By the way, the Lady's dress suits you remarkably well. 403 00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:08,200 She wore it just yesterday while being busy with the jester. 404 00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:11,960 - You have a wife? - I had. - Where is she now? 405 00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:15,240 - Hanging outside. - You hanged her outside? Why? 406 00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:18,320 For the lack of indoor gallows. 407 00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:24,880 - Two pizzas No. 33 for William the Endmost! - To the Knight of Behynde! 408 00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:46,280 Say, what is your star sign? Well, your zodiac. 409 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:49,480 - You do have a zodiac, don't you? - Well, yes... Virgo. 410 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:53,480 - A virgin! - A virgin? Where? Finally! Bring her here! 411 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:57,440 I want one, too! Here first! I was here before him! Shut up! 412 00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:02,760 - Virgo goes wonderfully with Butterfly. - That's no zodiac. 413 00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:07,200 Yes, it is. In the Vulcanette horoscope. I am a Butterfly. 414 00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:11,400 We only have insects for zodiacs. House Fly, Tse Tse Fly, 415 00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:15,440 Blowfly, Mayfly... or the Wasp! 416 00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:19,520 - Want to see my ascendant? - No, keep it where it is. 417 00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:23,680 - Save that for your boyfriend. - What? He's not my boyfriend. 418 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:27,800 He's just my captain. He'd get lost without me all the time. 419 00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:31,920 - Besides, he has no idea what women want. - Neither do I. You have to be handsome... 420 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:35,920 Beauty is not that important. What you need is humor. 421 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:40,080 I have! A doctor tells his patient "I have good news and bad news." 422 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:44,240 "Good: You have one day to live." "Bad: I forgot to tell you..." 423 00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,920 "yesterday." 424 00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:50,120 Forgot... yesterday... 425 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:53,160 Not bad. 426 00:41:54,880 --> 00:42:00,560 Do you want to know the magical question that sets every woman's heart on fire? 427 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:06,560 Want to go shopping? 428 00:42:06,720 --> 00:42:12,280 Shopping? And I always thought women liked men who play the piano. 429 00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:27,960 Baby, I'm strollin' on top of the sky. 430 00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:29,040 Baby, I'm strollin' on top of the sky. 431 00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,960 Why don't you, don't you, don't you, 432 00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:37,840 Baby, come along with me? 433 00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,080 Why don't you come along with me? 434 00:42:42,720 --> 00:42:46,720 I don't think I will ever marry. I wouldn't, at that. 435 00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:51,000 Neither would I anymore. My ex-wife took everything. 436 00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:54,080 My house, my dog, my job... 437 00:42:54,720 --> 00:42:56,760 even my hole puncher. 438 00:42:56,840 --> 00:43:03,040 - Oh my, now you can't even file anything away! - Oh well. Let me show you something. 439 00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,960 My little pink pal stayed with me. 440 00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:13,000 Oh, you little piggy you! - Say, can I touch that? - Sure. 441 00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:18,040 - Oh my, it's all shrivelled up! - Well, it's been in there for a while. 442 00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:22,000 - Yeah, I can see that. - Come, push it. 443 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:28,200 - I'd like to have one myself. - Come on, push it harder. 444 00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:37,880 My, where is it? My, what's it doing? My, there it is! 445 00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:42,280 - I don't want to make it burst. - It won't. My dog used to chew on it. 446 00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:56,240 The joust: two knights try to push each other off the horse with a lance. 447 00:43:56,240 --> 00:44:00,080 If your friend goes down, he loses and we will be married by tonight. 448 00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:03,240 I don't think you two would make a good couple. 449 00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:11,320 - What's wrong? - Well, how did we sleep last night? 450 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:15,920 - I didn't get a wink of sleep. - Yes, I imagine. 451 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:19,000 - What's that on your foot? - A shoe. 452 00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:23,400 - Where did you get that from? - My room mate had his leg hacked off 453 00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:27,440 for no apparent reason. I felt sorry and bought his shoe. 454 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,000 - Shut up, you witches! - Shut up, you bitches! 455 00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:32,760 Dear Lords, dear Ladys, dear mob! 456 00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:36,160 Our dearest patronizing host, who is delighted to see you all have come here... 457 00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:40,200 Duke William the Endmost of Shareholding! 458 00:44:48,240 --> 00:44:51,120 Dear Lords, dear Ladys! 459 00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:55,920 Sir Further-Winston-Fattenberry of West Firstwhistle-Minster-Shatwood Castle, 460 00:44:56,000 --> 00:45:00,000 Third Count of Yorkshire Forest Wooden-Lancester-Puddingham... 461 00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:03,080 - It's Pettingham, you idiot! - Ah... oh. That's right. 462 00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:07,960 Sir Further-Winston-Fattenberry of West Firstwhistle-Minster-Shatwood Castle, 463 00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:12,040 Third Count of Yorkshire Forest Wooden-Lancester-Pettingham, 464 00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:15,280 Sir Richard Carsharing, 465 00:45:15,720 --> 00:45:18,600 can not be with us today. 466 00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:22,840 Well well, the plague. Stepping into the breach... 467 00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:26,440 the mysterious Black Knight! 468 00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:35,800 Competing against him, under the crest of Duke William... 469 00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:38,880 the Sassy Sire of Behynde! 470 00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:55,920 I worked on that outfit all night. But it was worth it. 471 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,000 Loose screw, huh? 472 00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,120 - Jens Shawl! - Jawohl. 473 00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:11,200 I will beat the Sassy Sire for you. 474 00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:16,440 - You have to cancel the tournament! - Too late. 475 00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,800 In case you care at all, I don't feel well. 476 00:46:23,040 --> 00:46:27,040 I have to go bisi-bisi since last night, but they don't even have toilet paper here. 477 00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:37,400 Calm! 478 00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:53,200 - You need to raise your lance, Rocky! - There. You're cooing. You said "Rocky"! 479 00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:16,520 If the Black Knight wins we're all doomed! 480 00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:19,840 - It's not the end of the world. - You have no idea! 481 00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:33,160 Jawohl! 482 00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:39,000 - I can't take it much longer! - Neither can I. Too bad about that outfit! 483 00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:43,320 My bladder is about to explode and you act like a halibut in the heat! 484 00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,000 Rock! 485 00:47:46,240 --> 00:47:50,240 - Didn't hurt at all. - Think about our future! 486 00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:54,320 Don't worry, princess. Let me handle this. 487 00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:58,360 He could as well resign. Your bosom will be mine! 488 00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:02,440 I'll rather go and puke then let you touch me, Duke. 489 00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:06,920 Put your Lanze in the air, and rock it like you just don't care! 490 00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:09,760 Everybody say, oh yeahl Oh yeah! 491 00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:37,280 They asked me how I knew 492 00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:41,400 My true love was true. 493 00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:49,960 I of course replied, 494 00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:53,760 "Something here inside 495 00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:56,920 cannot be denied." 496 00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:15,360 Jawohl! Yes! Jawohl! 497 00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:18,640 Yes! We're getting married! Where's the priest? 498 00:49:18,720 --> 00:49:21,520 Hey, don't touch! Hands off! Heh! 499 00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:28,040 - What are you planning? - Some little fireworks for our wedding. 500 00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:32,880 I know how you feel. I fell from the bunk bed when I was a kid. 501 00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:35,960 Excuse me! He's lying on top of my bladder. 502 00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,960 Hey, wait! 503 00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:40,400 What? 504 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:43,760 Oh Willy! Do you want to make me happy? 505 00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:46,640 Yeah, definitely! 506 00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:49,880 Jawohl! Higher, pigs! 507 00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:55,520 - I'm ready, Willy-Boy! - Good! Move a little together, my dear! 508 00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:00,840 They're getting away! Let me down, assholes! 509 00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:03,520 What a picture! 510 00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:04,920 Stop it! 511 00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:08,120 - Come on baby, where's the cheese cake? - In here! 512 00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:12,080 Cheeeeese cake! 513 00:50:12,720 --> 00:50:14,720 Oh crap. 514 00:50:20,720 --> 00:50:23,600 - They're gone! - William's a sorcerer. 515 00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,880 Well, burn him! 516 00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:33,760 Now I'll go and meet my Lord because of that bosom I adored. 517 00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:56,880 - What happened? - You were unconscious. We're there. 518 00:50:57,240 --> 00:51:01,080 - Hey! Hey, stop pulling! - Wishi-wishi, bisi-bisi 519 00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:04,160 - Well, look! - Oh thank God! 520 00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:11,760 - C'mon, hurry, will ya? - Yeah. Look, someone forgot his pants in here. 521 00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:14,760 - Heave ho! - Man, this is heavy! 522 00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:19,040 That armoire goes up to the bedroom. 523 00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:24,280 Be careful! These are the furniture of our new sheriff. 524 00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:28,360 - It all has to be perfect tomorrow. - Sure, mayor. 525 00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,080 Oh, do be careful! 526 00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:33,920 I dreamed of soccer just now. 527 00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:39,160 I was a quarterback made of marzipan. Someone stuck a lucky coin to my head and 528 00:51:39,240 --> 00:51:42,240 put me into the shop window next to the tarts. 529 00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:46,960 - Who was that? - Some gay pastry cook. 530 00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:55,840 Whoa whoa whoa! 531 00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:13,320 - And where are the others? - Piddling. 532 00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:18,280 That was close. I wouldn't even wish Bora-Bora such a full bladder. 533 00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:22,800 Shouldn't have had all that asparagus. Well, how do you like it? 534 00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:27,160 - This outfit is so totally old fashioned. - Poppycock and fiddlesticks! 535 00:52:27,240 --> 00:52:31,640 - We won't stand out in this national costume. - You're jingling. 536 00:52:31,720 --> 00:52:36,440 I have a world to save! Watch me, this is how you move in Nevada. 537 00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:39,520 Shoulders up, swing your hips. 538 00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:43,600 Think of Johnny Weir and don't forget your breathing! 539 00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:45,440 Try it! 540 00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:52,000 Forget it! 541 00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:25,320 Ah, fresh asparagus tea! 542 00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:28,280 It's still warm! 543 00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:48,320 - Smocky. - Leave me alone. 544 00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:52,080 - How far is it to the ground? - I don't know. 545 00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:55,160 - Well, please look. - I can't. 546 00:53:55,200 --> 00:54:00,560 - This is the right place, but we're in the wrong time. - Can you repair the time machine? 547 00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:03,920 - Not without the manual. - What do we do now? 548 00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:08,720 First of all, find the girls. Strange. I can't get rid of the feeling... 549 00:54:08,720 --> 00:54:12,480 - they're somewhere around here. - Last warning, Smock! 550 00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:16,560 - How far is it to the ground? - Forget it! - Are we being mutinous? 551 00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:20,640 - That Rock guy is a bad influence for you! - You're just being jealous! 552 00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:26,520 - Be careful, will you! - Hey. The princess is worrying about me. 553 00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:30,560 - What do you mean? - Well, if a woman worries about a man... 554 00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:36,600 - I'm worrying about our mission! - And I'm worried about my cab and my money. 555 00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:38,320 What? 556 00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:43,440 - But we're stuck here without the time machine! - You should have been more careful. 557 00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:47,960 - I was unconscious. - Oh, so it's my fault now? That's so typical! 558 00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:50,640 You're a jealous gratin! 559 00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:57,080 You'll look down now, or I'll tell Mr. Rock that you have a green testicle! 560 00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:58,160 You're such a bully! 561 00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:05,720 - I took the rap for you, Lady! - And who kicked that leather lump into my face? 562 00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:11,760 If it wasn't for me, you'd be a juicy steak at the stake! 563 00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:15,600 - Do you have a boyfriend? - What? - So you don't. 564 00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:18,680 I'll tell you something. You like me. 565 00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:23,200 - This is not about you! Got it? - Excuse me, can I get my sports section back? 566 00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:30,800 - Mayor Roony! - That's all wrong! 567 00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:34,400 - More to the left! - Mayor Roony! 568 00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:38,080 A telegraph from Roswell! It's horrible! 569 00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:41,960 God be with us! The former sheriff... 570 00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:46,520 isn't cold and stiff yet, and they're already coming back to town! 571 00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:49,200 They're on the 12 o'clock train. 572 00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:55,640 They're back! 573 00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:21,720 - You have your mother's pulpy porridge butt! - Travelling with you is no fun at all! 574 00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:26,080 - I'm never taking you along again! - So what? There are plenty of people 575 00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:30,160 - who'd love to take me along! - Who? That Rock-bottom maybe? 576 00:56:30,240 --> 00:56:34,280 Yeah! Our knees touched, and I got the feeling he 577 00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:38,360 wanted it too! Stop smirking! Maybe I'll go to 578 00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:42,440 - Mykonos with him next year! - I'm not giving you a holiday. 579 00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:46,800 Sheriff Shorty? Ah, I thought you'd arrive tomorrow. Anyway. Good luck! 580 00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:49,880 And you're bigger than I expected! 581 00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:56,880 - And which one is the sheriff? - The one with the star, Jim. 582 00:56:56,960 --> 00:57:00,960 - Then I'll go and save the world without you! - Ha, you can't! 583 00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:04,320 - Yes I can. - No you can't. - Yes I can. - No you can't. 584 00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:06,640 - Yes I can. - No you can't. - Yes I can. 585 00:57:06,720 --> 00:57:10,720 - I don't believe this. - No you can't. I have the Swiss laser! 586 00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:12,800 You sly Vulcanette cow! 587 00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:18,520 - Hey, are you batty? - I believe Shorty was shorter last time we met him. 588 00:57:18,840 --> 00:57:22,840 Well, it's been what, 10 years? He could have grown. 589 00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:29,360 Dammit! 590 00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:32,880 Game over! Daddy will be delighted! 591 00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:37,200 He's got a moped! 592 00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:41,760 Oh no, not again. 593 00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:52,960 Crap! 594 00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:00,760 What's wrong? 595 00:58:10,080 --> 00:58:12,800 Get a grip, asshole! 596 00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:27,440 John, you hold the sheriff off my back. Jim, wash your hands and go inside. 597 00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:32,720 Sorry, John. I can't stay outside to play. 598 00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:37,040 Don't worry. I found two new friends already. 599 00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:40,400 - Shoes! - Yes, boss. - John, you have ten minutes. 600 00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:45,200 We have a pub to sell to the Apaches later today. 601 00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:48,440 - We are from the... - People Village! 602 00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:52,520 - We are peace-loving Village People. - Ladies and Se�oritas! 603 00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:57,200 >From Medicine Bow, Wyoming, it's your host for tonight: Mr. Santa Maria! 604 00:58:58,160 --> 00:59:01,760 - Isn't he gorgeous? - I'm your biggest fan! 605 00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:06,880 Welcome to "The Santa Show"! Our guest for today is Jim. 606 00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:08,840 Hello, Jim. 607 00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:12,840 - What did you bring us there, Jim? - Rheuma blankets, boss. 608 00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:15,800 Isn't that wonderful? 609 00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:19,760 Schnuffi-Puffi... Buy one, get one freel 610 00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:23,200 Schnuffi-Puffi... Schnuffi-Puffi! 611 00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:28,880 Schnuffi-Puffi, and your wild ride's going on! 612 00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:31,000 Now on sale! 613 00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:47,360 - I think he's cooing over you. - Really? 614 00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:51,640 C'mon! Draw! 615 00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:55,160 - What? - Your pistol. 616 00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:57,800 It's his first time! 617 01:00:01,000 --> 01:00:03,000 Geez, thanks! 618 01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:10,400 - I can't get it out! - Now you see what it's like. 619 01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:12,680 - Are you alright, captain? - Yes, but... 620 01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:16,680 - Where's Rock? - I'm really getting tired of hearing that name! 621 01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:19,720 Who of you ordered a cab? 622 01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:23,800 - Thank God, there he is! - "Thank God, there he is!" 623 01:00:27,160 --> 01:00:30,160 - You are a real hero! - I know. 624 01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:40,520 - But we don't drink champagne. - The chief of the Apaches does. 625 01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:47,120 - Oh look! Someone's lying there! - Yes, that's my John. 626 01:01:15,920 --> 01:01:19,920 My Regulator. Your shuttle to Earth is ready. 627 01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:23,200 - Has Lord Shawl reported in yet? - No, my Regulator! 628 01:01:24,560 --> 01:01:27,920 But we captured this man. He pretended to be mowing the lawn. 629 01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:32,240 He actually is part of the crew that managed to flee with the time machine. 630 01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:36,560 Interesting. I'm sure he can tell us something about their plans. 631 01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:40,440 I'm not saying anything! I've already lost my reading lamp to this war! 632 01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:44,480 - It can't get worse, can it! - Then there is nothing I can do for you. 633 01:01:44,560 --> 01:01:46,320 You fool! 634 01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:49,440 Hermes! 635 01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:55,680 Commence a press release: High treason! Spectacle wearer... 636 01:01:55,760 --> 01:01:59,120 - slain with a pan. - Aye, my Regulator. 637 01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:04,760 We have conquered Earth. The Era of Darkness shall begin. 638 01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:49,120 - I think this is our exit! - I don't know how to slow this thing down! 639 01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:57,840 Jump off! 640 01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:17,920 - Great! Now I got sand in my ears! - No surprise, your ears are quite ample. 641 01:03:22,440 --> 01:03:26,320 - Are you alright, princess? - I think so. 642 01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:53,520 Better. 643 01:03:59,240 --> 01:04:03,240 That's our sofa! Why is it smouldering? 644 01:04:03,520 --> 01:04:07,600 What are you doing with our sofa? It's not a toy, you know! 645 01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:11,680 Now look how that looks! It's so totally wrecked! 646 01:04:11,880 --> 01:04:15,960 Do you even know who I am? My name is Juergen Thorsten Kork, 647 01:04:16,040 --> 01:04:20,120 captain of the Traumschiff Surprise. I have the responsibility for this sofa 648 01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:25,120 as well as for a crew of over 40 men. And it's not always easy to make ends meet! 649 01:04:31,520 --> 01:04:35,120 He repaired the time sofa! 650 01:04:36,960 --> 01:04:38,760 Your turn! 651 01:04:44,800 --> 01:04:46,400 Okay! 652 01:04:47,120 --> 01:04:48,920 You... 653 01:04:49,560 --> 01:04:52,160 You again. 654 01:04:58,960 --> 01:05:01,960 - What is that? - A corkscrew. 655 01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:04,800 A magnifying glass. 656 01:05:15,560 --> 01:05:16,640 No! 657 01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:21,160 Your time is up! 658 01:05:30,360 --> 01:05:31,920 The UFO! 659 01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:48,880 Time to say goodbye, french fry. 660 01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:53,160 Rock! 661 01:05:57,800 --> 01:06:00,400 Want to... 662 01:06:01,960 --> 01:06:04,920 Want to go shopping? 663 01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:07,000 Yes I do! 664 01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:17,840 - See! Your time to coo is over, Smocky. - I can still keep him on the back burner. 665 01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:25,000 - There is something you have to know. - What is it? 666 01:06:25,920 --> 01:06:27,600 I... 667 01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:31,720 - I really suck when it comes to sex. - Oh Rock! So do I! 668 01:06:43,840 --> 01:06:47,840 - Gee, what a cute thingy! - Careful, Smock, it might bite. 669 01:07:00,440 --> 01:07:03,440 Maybe I'll talk to him. 670 01:07:03,680 --> 01:07:06,280 - Hello, stranger! - Huh? 671 01:07:06,720 --> 01:07:09,600 You friend or foe? 672 01:07:11,640 --> 01:07:13,440 - Ah! - Ah! 673 01:07:13,920 --> 01:07:16,800 - A friend! - A friend! 674 01:07:22,360 --> 01:07:26,360 - Oh, I think the poor thing has catched a cold. - Wait a sec. 675 01:07:27,040 --> 01:07:29,920 You're a really good boy, aren't you? 676 01:07:43,040 --> 01:07:48,240 - Look, now you broke it! You dumb cow! - That's not enough, I'm afraid. 677 01:07:59,360 --> 01:08:03,360 - We did it! - That's all? This will change the future? 678 01:08:03,440 --> 01:08:07,440 Even small things can have a big effect. 679 01:08:07,520 --> 01:08:11,760 I don't know about you, but I'm really homesick now. 680 01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:13,240 - Yes! - Yes! 681 01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:21,800 - I wonder what awaits us at home. - Hopefully a fresh cheese cake 682 01:08:21,880 --> 01:08:24,760 in Honolulu, right, Smocky? 683 01:08:27,760 --> 01:08:31,760 - There's not enough energy. Overload. - Overload? 684 01:08:32,120 --> 01:08:36,040 - We're too heavy. - What? - We'll make 200 years, tops. 685 01:08:36,120 --> 01:08:39,040 - We're 76.375 kg overweight. - Oh no! 686 01:08:39,120 --> 01:08:41,560 - How much are you? - 54 kg. 687 01:08:41,560 --> 01:08:45,520 - My beach weight's 75 kg. - I'm 73. - What about you, Smocky? 688 01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:51,280 Well, how much is it? 689 01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:00,880 76 kilo and 375 grams. 690 01:09:09,840 --> 01:09:11,640 Smocky? 691 01:09:18,320 --> 01:09:22,200 Groans was right. I'm just a fat Vulcanette. 692 01:09:37,800 --> 01:09:40,400 Thanks for everything. 693 01:09:44,440 --> 01:09:47,320 They found us. 694 01:09:51,480 --> 01:09:54,360 Take this. Whenever you're lonely, 695 01:09:56,240 --> 01:09:59,120 just press it. 696 01:10:05,280 --> 01:10:07,880 Don't go! 697 01:10:08,800 --> 01:10:12,800 - You have to go now. - How could I, without you? 698 01:10:13,720 --> 01:10:18,920 - I'll stay with you. - No, you have to win the Miss Waikiki contest. 699 01:10:19,360 --> 01:10:21,160 Smocky! 700 01:10:21,480 --> 01:10:24,480 I'll always be with you, captain. 701 01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:33,600 You're the bravest Vulcanette in the world! 702 01:10:36,400 --> 01:10:38,200 Farewell! 703 01:10:39,640 --> 01:10:42,240 Gotta run. 704 01:11:18,680 --> 01:11:21,960 And you expect us to believe that story? 705 01:11:23,040 --> 01:11:26,040 So you are a time traveller. 706 01:11:31,920 --> 01:11:34,920 And you came from the year 2304 707 01:11:37,160 --> 01:11:40,000 to save the world. 708 01:11:40,080 --> 01:11:42,960 What do you think, Mr. Oilfield? 709 01:11:51,240 --> 01:11:55,680 - Sir, he's telling the truth. - Are you sure, Mr. Cornfield? 710 01:11:55,760 --> 01:11:59,920 - Yes, Mr. Wheatfield. The lie detector confirms it. He can fool us 711 01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:03,400 - but he can't fool the machine. - Please, Mrs. Ricefield. 712 01:12:03,480 --> 01:12:06,480 Mr. Smock. Your story sounds truly... 713 01:12:08,720 --> 01:12:11,720 - unbelievable. - Geez, really. 714 01:12:11,800 --> 01:12:16,400 But can you prove to us that you are from the future? 715 01:12:23,400 --> 01:12:27,400 - What the hell is that? - Oh geez, I had forgotten about that! 716 01:12:29,240 --> 01:12:32,240 I've never seen anything like it! 717 01:12:33,640 --> 01:12:37,120 - It vibrates when it gets hot. - Yes, General. 718 01:12:37,200 --> 01:12:41,200 - A clinical thermometer with vibration. - That's proof. 719 01:12:42,880 --> 01:12:45,880 This man does indeed come from the future. 720 01:13:05,520 --> 01:13:07,680 What is that? 721 01:13:07,760 --> 01:13:10,400 Surprise! 722 01:13:38,600 --> 01:13:41,600 - Welcome home, captain! - What? 723 01:13:42,400 --> 01:13:46,920 This is impossible.... You were just... I mean... you were... 724 01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:51,000 - Why are you here? - Well, you never believed me, did you! 725 01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:55,560 Galapagos turtle! 726 01:13:55,640 --> 01:13:58,640 Yesterday was my 335th birthday! 727 01:13:58,720 --> 01:14:02,680 Three...! You haven't changed a bit! No grey hair... 728 01:14:02,760 --> 01:14:06,720 - no cellulite in your face! Nothing! - Yes. Wasn't cheap though. 729 01:14:06,800 --> 01:14:10,000 So you... waited for me for 300 years? 730 01:14:10,080 --> 01:14:13,080 Yes. But I made good use of that time. 731 01:14:22,920 --> 01:14:25,800 Isn't it beautiful? 732 01:14:25,960 --> 01:14:28,800 How did you do that? 733 01:14:28,880 --> 01:14:32,760 I sold our cheese cake recipe to McDonald's. 734 01:14:37,880 --> 01:14:42,000 Captain's log no. 1 of our Traumschiff Surprise, Captain Kork. 735 01:14:42,080 --> 01:14:46,160 Saved the world once more. By destroying the UFO in 2004 736 01:14:46,240 --> 01:14:50,280 we changed the future. Mars was never colonized, 737 01:14:50,360 --> 01:14:54,360 and Mr. Smock has refurbished Earth during the last 300 years. 738 01:14:54,440 --> 01:14:57,440 Now nothing can stop us! 739 01:14:57,680 --> 01:15:01,320 'Cause we're so pretty 740 01:15:01,520 --> 01:15:07,440 and so canny and so slim and so slender We'll be Miss Waikiki! 741 01:15:08,200 --> 01:15:12,040 And shower to the left! And shower to the right! 742 01:15:12,520 --> 01:15:16,120 And don't forget the soap! One more time! 743 01:15:16,600 --> 01:15:20,480 And five, six, seven, eight Five, six, seven, eight 744 01:15:20,560 --> 01:15:24,320 And touch and push! And touch and push! 745 01:15:24,560 --> 01:15:28,280 And towel to the left! And towel to the right! 746 01:15:28,560 --> 01:15:32,680 And don't forget the willy! Dry the willy to the beat! 747 01:15:43,840 --> 01:15:46,840 You can count on me, daddy. 748 01:15:53,120 --> 01:15:57,040 I'm a Vulcanette vulgaris. We can be up to 400 years old because we are 749 01:15:57,120 --> 01:15:59,880 a type of Galapapago... 750 01:15:59,960 --> 01:16:02,560 I'm a... 751 01:16:10,280 --> 01:16:13,240 This thing farts! 752 01:16:13,440 --> 01:16:17,440 Sure. I'll snaff them out with my snaffledidap. 753 01:16:19,160 --> 01:16:20,760 Yes! 754 01:16:22,800 --> 01:16:26,400 - Klaus Kinski? - Yes. I'm hovering. Come up. 755 01:16:27,240 --> 01:16:31,160 Sure, Dad. Shoe can count on me.... shshshsh... 756 01:16:31,240 --> 01:16:35,240 - I am Hermes, messenger of the Gods. - And whahamaminib? 757 01:16:35,480 --> 01:16:39,480 They travelled to the past to erararara... 758 01:16:40,280 --> 01:16:43,280 Rrrrrr! Rrrrrr! I miss my moped. 759 01:16:43,360 --> 01:16:47,360 - I used to be on the hovering club! - On? 760 01:16:47,600 --> 01:16:52,000 I made my license in freestyle hovering when I washwei... shwe.... 761 01:16:52,080 --> 01:16:54,680 shwiba... hi there! 762 01:16:55,480 --> 01:16:59,400 ...when I was 12, and I won the Federal Cross of Merit 763 01:16:59,480 --> 01:17:03,480 at the national youth hovering con... - Federal Cross? 764 01:17:03,960 --> 01:17:07,960 - Put that pipe away! - I am Hermes, messenger of the Gods! 765 01:17:15,960 --> 01:17:18,080 High, High, High-Ti-Tigh, 766 01:17:19,960 --> 01:17:22,960 Space-Taxi to the sky. 767 01:17:24,200 --> 01:17:26,520 High, High, High-Ti-Tigh, 768 01:17:28,200 --> 01:17:31,440 Space-Taxi to the sky. 769 01:17:31,800 --> 01:17:32,560 Come on. 770 01:17:32,640 --> 01:17:34,360 ... My little heart... ... so hot... 771 01:17:34,440 --> 01:17:36,440 ... spread your legs apart... Check it out! 772 01:17:36,480 --> 01:17:40,200 ... now let's start the show! Eenie meenie miny moe! 773 01:17:41,080 --> 01:17:43,120 High, High, High-Ti-Tigh, 774 01:17:45,040 --> 01:17:48,160 Space-Taxi to the sky. 775 01:17:48,560 --> 01:17:50,360 I... 776 01:17:51,400 --> 01:17:54,400 - I forgot to pack my bra. - Here. 777 01:17:55,320 --> 01:17:57,920 Take m... 778 01:17:59,720 --> 01:18:02,600 William is a sorcerer! 779 01:18:03,720 --> 01:18:06,600 Sorry, mouth full. 780 01:18:07,520 --> 01:18:10,520 Do you want to make me happy? 781 01:18:10,800 --> 01:18:11,800 Yes, definitely! 782 01:18:14,640 --> 01:18:17,640 My nose went up! 783 01:18:18,760 --> 01:18:23,360 Sir Further-Winston-Fattenberry of West Firstwhistle-Minster-Shatwood Castle, 784 01:18:23,440 --> 01:18:26,040 Third Count of... Fuck! 785 01:18:28,680 --> 01:18:29,880 Fuck, hey! 786 01:18:36,400 --> 01:18:40,280 There are plenty of people who'd lovuff... 787 01:18:40,360 --> 01:18:44,360 There are plenty of people who'd lovuff... 788 01:18:46,320 --> 01:18:50,920 There are plenty of people who'd lovuff... sorry! 789 01:18:52,920 --> 01:18:55,400 There are plenty... 790 01:19:09,000 --> 01:19:12,800 Do you even know who I am? I am Captain Juergen Thorsten Kork from the 791 01:19:12,880 --> 01:19:15,600 Planet of the Apes. Sorry. 792 01:19:16,400 --> 01:19:22,120 Bring me a Quattro staggioni, okay? And turn that stupid music off. 793 01:22:37,480 --> 01:22:41,600 Now, be honest, Smocky. Didn't you get incredibly bored 794 01:22:41,680 --> 01:22:44,680 without me during the last 300 years? 795 01:22:45,360 --> 01:22:49,080 Oh well, I had a little lie-in... 796 01:22:49,160 --> 01:22:51,960 - visited my relatives - That's nice. 797 01:22:52,040 --> 01:22:56,040 - I did my tax return. - Yes, that's important. 798 01:22:59,280 --> 01:23:02,160 And then I won bronze... 799 01:23:03,080 --> 01:23:07,480 at the Olympic Games of 2068 in the ladies team showering. 800 01:23:07,560 --> 01:23:11,560 Oh, really! Our Smocky has always been an ace, hasn't he? 801 01:23:14,240 --> 01:23:18,200 - What's up, Spotty? - Captain, I beamed someone up. 802 01:23:18,280 --> 01:23:23,400 - He wants to join in with us! - Send him up. He'll get some cheese cake, too! 803 01:23:23,480 --> 01:23:26,360 Aye aye, my captain! 804 01:23:26,720 --> 01:23:29,520 Well, who could it be! 805 01:23:29,600 --> 01:23:32,600 Come in! 806 01:23:32,880 --> 01:23:36,880 - Servus! - Voil�! Anyone need a pearl diver? 807 01:23:38,400 --> 01:23:42,000 Fascinating.