1 00:00:50,937 --> 00:00:52,336 On the count of three. 2 00:00:52,497 --> 00:00:56,046 One, two, three! 3 00:00:57,697 --> 00:01:00,495 Try the ring toss. Three for a quarter. Look how easy it is. 4 00:01:00,657 --> 00:01:02,852 There you go, a winner! 5 00:01:03,017 --> 00:01:06,612 And now, for my shocking finale. 6 00:01:06,777 --> 00:01:09,052 Not for the squeamish. 7 00:01:09,217 --> 00:01:12,368 Not for the faint of heart. 8 00:01:13,097 --> 00:01:17,215 I call my trick "The Jaws of Death." 9 00:01:19,097 --> 00:01:21,452 Now. Say it. Say it. 10 00:01:21,617 --> 00:01:25,087 Harold, use your awesome might to save me from this hopeless plight. 11 00:01:25,257 --> 00:01:27,646 No harm will come to you. Alakazam! 12 00:01:34,817 --> 00:01:36,535 Help me! Help me! 13 00:01:48,857 --> 00:01:50,449 I'm going to be an actress. 14 00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:39,648 Hard to believe it was last Christmas... 15 00:03:39,817 --> 00:03:41,648 ...that me and Harmony changed the world. 16 00:03:41,817 --> 00:03:45,446 And we didn 't mean to. And it didn 't last long, you know. 17 00:03:45,617 --> 00:03:46,891 A thing like that can 't. 18 00:03:47,057 --> 00:03:50,732 Now that I'm in L.A., I go to parties. The kind where if a girl is named Jill... 19 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:53,252 ...she spells it J-Y-L-L-E, that bullshit. 20 00:03:53,857 --> 00:03:57,975 That's me there. My name's Harry Lockhart, I'll be your narrator. 21 00:03:58,137 --> 00:03:59,456 Welcome to L.A. 22 00:03:59,617 --> 00:04:00,891 Welcome to the party. 23 00:04:14,137 --> 00:04:17,447 The guy smoking, that's Dabney Shaw, my producer. He discovered me. 24 00:04:17,617 --> 00:04:21,610 The man with him is Perry Van Shrike, a.k.a. Gay Perry. 25 00:04:21,777 --> 00:04:25,213 Honest-to-God private eye, consults in film, TV. Just incorporated. 26 00:04:25,377 --> 00:04:27,686 He's bigtime. Also, he's gay. 27 00:04:27,857 --> 00:04:29,131 Don't start, Perry, huh? 28 00:04:29,297 --> 00:04:32,175 I seen you play ball. You're tough. But you see a naked guy... 29 00:04:32,337 --> 00:04:33,929 ...your brain says, "I want that." 30 00:04:34,097 --> 00:04:37,328 I don't make that leap. It's like, "Look, there's an elephant. Quick... 31 00:04:37,497 --> 00:04:40,216 ...let's drain its blood to paint my boathouse." 32 00:04:40,377 --> 00:04:43,210 It's just that that's not the first thing you think of. 33 00:04:43,377 --> 00:04:44,969 L.A. 34 00:04:45,137 --> 00:04:47,970 By now you may wonder how I wound up here, or maybe not. 35 00:04:48,137 --> 00:04:51,095 Maybe you wonder how Silly Putty picks shit up from comic books. 36 00:04:51,257 --> 00:04:54,169 Point is, I don 't see another goddamn narrator, so pipe down. 37 00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:57,056 How did I get here? See for yourself. 38 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,287 Chloe, just run the name by me one more time... 39 00:05:06,457 --> 00:05:08,288 ...because I must be missing something. 40 00:05:08,457 --> 00:05:11,051 I'm going nuts. I've been through the store three times. 41 00:05:11,217 --> 00:05:13,856 Cyber Agent. C-Y-B-E... Why don 't you ask... 42 00:05:14,017 --> 00:05:16,577 ...an employee or something? - No, they're all busy. 43 00:05:18,097 --> 00:05:21,806 "Protocop, protector of man." Is that it? Protocop? He protects men. 44 00:05:21,977 --> 00:05:25,014 Uncle Harry, look around. There are signs. 45 00:05:25,177 --> 00:05:29,807 That show was cancelled two years ago. Just ask... Wait, are they even open? 46 00:05:29,977 --> 00:05:32,730 Yeah, it's holiday hours. Look... Get away from the window. 47 00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:35,206 - I gotta go, but I'll find this. 48 00:05:38,457 --> 00:05:40,448 - Great. - Shit, Harry, that shit went wrong! 49 00:05:40,617 --> 00:05:42,528 - Give me the gun! - No. Give me the bullets! 50 00:05:42,697 --> 00:05:44,574 Freeze! 51 00:05:45,097 --> 00:05:48,726 - You gotta be fucking kidding me. - We'll stand here and wait for the police. 52 00:05:48,897 --> 00:05:52,287 Drop the gun. We didn't do anything. We are not dangerous. Drop the gun. 53 00:05:52,457 --> 00:05:55,255 - Hey, lady, gun is not loaded... - Richie, no! 54 00:05:56,297 --> 00:05:57,286 Richie! 55 00:05:57,777 --> 00:05:59,130 Shit! 56 00:06:04,017 --> 00:06:05,814 Oh, boy. 57 00:06:16,697 --> 00:06:17,891 Take it easy. 58 00:06:18,937 --> 00:06:22,054 Jesus. Oh, no, no. We're not ready for you yet, sir. 59 00:06:22,217 --> 00:06:25,209 - Go wait with the others. - Grace, do me a favor, let's take him. 60 00:06:25,377 --> 00:06:26,890 - He's ready. You're ready? - Ready? 61 00:06:27,057 --> 00:06:28,376 Okay, come on. 62 00:06:29,377 --> 00:06:31,129 You know the setup? Got any questions? 63 00:06:31,297 --> 00:06:33,572 He's got no questions. Look at him. Let's go. 64 00:06:33,737 --> 00:06:35,011 Let's read. 65 00:06:38,177 --> 00:06:40,771 - Where is he? Where's Raphael? - Where is he? 66 00:06:40,937 --> 00:06:42,211 Where's...? 67 00:06:47,417 --> 00:06:50,966 Beat up on me all night. You want me to give up my partner, you can go spit. 68 00:06:54,417 --> 00:06:56,533 Quit acting like the good guy, jerk-off. 69 00:06:56,697 --> 00:06:58,255 You got your partner killed. 70 00:06:58,977 --> 00:07:01,366 He was in over his head, you knew it. 71 00:07:01,537 --> 00:07:03,607 You may as well have pulled the trigger. 72 00:07:03,777 --> 00:07:05,256 You killed him! 73 00:07:08,417 --> 00:07:11,853 No, I didn't... I didn't kill him. He wanted in. 74 00:07:13,257 --> 00:07:14,531 Why...? 75 00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,928 Why?! 76 00:07:17,097 --> 00:07:19,292 I didn't want him to come in on it. He insisted. 77 00:07:19,457 --> 00:07:24,167 I said, "Stay at home." But he doesn't listen. He's such a stupid son of a bitch. 78 00:07:24,697 --> 00:07:26,130 I killed him, didn't I? 79 00:07:26,297 --> 00:07:30,085 Oh, fuck, this is my fault. I'm sorry. 80 00:07:36,177 --> 00:07:37,815 Sorry. 81 00:07:38,257 --> 00:07:41,135 Hey, good luck. 82 00:07:42,417 --> 00:07:45,090 See, this is what I'm talking about. Old school. Method. 83 00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:47,487 - Studio. - Brando. Put this in the pouch to L.A. 84 00:07:47,657 --> 00:07:48,931 Get Gay Perry on the phone. 85 00:07:49,497 --> 00:07:52,534 Now, get this, they're screen-testing me. Is that wild? 86 00:07:53,137 --> 00:07:55,571 One minute, I'm boosting Xboxes in the East Village... 87 00:07:55,737 --> 00:07:57,932 ...the next, I'm sipping champagne in L.A. 88 00:07:58,097 --> 00:07:59,849 - Hi. - Hey. 89 00:08:00,017 --> 00:08:01,370 So, what do you do? 90 00:08:01,537 --> 00:08:04,005 I'm retired. I invented dice when I was a kid. 91 00:08:05,737 --> 00:08:08,376 - How about you? - I do a little acting. 92 00:08:12,177 --> 00:08:13,610 I'm gonna see who else is here. 93 00:08:13,777 --> 00:08:15,893 Anyway, that's how I got to the party. 94 00:08:17,377 --> 00:08:19,845 Now, Harmony, different story. 95 00:08:20,017 --> 00:08:23,054 Some will tell you she got here on account of the giant robot. 96 00:08:23,217 --> 00:08:24,650 I'll show you that in a minute. 97 00:08:24,817 --> 00:08:27,809 But for me, robot-schmobot, she was destined to be here. 98 00:08:27,977 --> 00:08:29,695 Jeez, look at those stems, will you? 99 00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:32,815 Not that that's what constitutes why she should be here. 100 00:08:32,977 --> 00:08:34,695 Yes, racist. I'm serious. 101 00:08:34,857 --> 00:08:38,247 The other reindeer laughed at him. Then, out of the blue, they need him. 102 00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:40,294 He's as good as a fog light or whatever. 103 00:08:40,457 --> 00:08:43,574 You know what, so you tell me, how is it any different than: 104 00:08:43,737 --> 00:08:45,853 "Don't talk to Reggie, he's black. 105 00:08:46,017 --> 00:08:49,407 Oh, wait, he can play basketball. Sign him up." 106 00:08:49,577 --> 00:08:51,852 Rudolph, Reggie. 107 00:08:53,177 --> 00:08:56,374 Harmony Faith Lane was your typical L.A. Girl, she wasn 't from there. 108 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,573 She grew up in a burg in southern Indiana. 109 00:08:58,737 --> 00:09:01,934 "When in doubt, cut up a pig." That was the town motto. 110 00:09:02,097 --> 00:09:05,976 Like most soon-to-be-fucked-up girls, Harmony was wicked smart. 111 00:09:06,137 --> 00:09:07,934 Of course, credit where credit's due... 112 00:09:08,097 --> 00:09:10,565 ...she had a terrific mentor. No, not her. 113 00:09:10,737 --> 00:09:11,726 Him. 114 00:09:13,537 --> 00:09:14,856 "'Go to hell, Jonny Gossamer! ' 115 00:09:15,017 --> 00:09:17,736 She poured herself into a seamless dress. 116 00:09:17,897 --> 00:09:20,331 From the looks of it, she spilled some." 117 00:09:20,497 --> 00:09:22,772 Jonny spoke from the pages of cheap paperbacks... 118 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:25,974 ...and told of a promised land known as "the Coast"... 119 00:09:26,137 --> 00:09:30,096 ...and a magical city called Los Angeles. 120 00:09:30,257 --> 00:09:33,693 As the years progressed, she wished he was real. 121 00:09:33,857 --> 00:09:38,294 Wished that he would come to Indiana to save her little sister, Jenna. 122 00:09:39,137 --> 00:09:42,925 You see, Papa was at her night after night. 123 00:09:43,217 --> 00:09:44,809 But Jonny never showed. 124 00:09:45,457 --> 00:09:48,017 And then the guy writing the books died. 125 00:09:48,177 --> 00:09:49,815 Age 16, she split. 126 00:09:49,977 --> 00:09:52,775 Took the bus to L.A., the promised land. 127 00:09:52,937 --> 00:09:55,531 She'd get rich and famous and then help little sis. 128 00:09:55,697 --> 00:09:56,971 Before he died... 129 00:09:57,137 --> 00:09:59,571 ...the guy who wrote the books said Jonny was a joke. 130 00:09:59,737 --> 00:10:01,648 He wrote it for money, and it was bullshit. 131 00:10:01,817 --> 00:10:05,014 Harmony ignored this. She knew better. I mean, who the hell was he? 132 00:10:05,657 --> 00:10:06,931 He was just a writer. 133 00:10:07,097 --> 00:10:09,531 And that's how she got to the same party as me... 134 00:10:09,697 --> 00:10:11,255 Oh, shit. I skipped something. 135 00:10:11,417 --> 00:10:14,136 Damn it. This robot bit. I made a big deal, then I forgot. 136 00:10:14,297 --> 00:10:16,765 Fuck, bad narrating. Like my dad telling a joke. 137 00:10:16,937 --> 00:10:20,691 "Oh, wait, back up. I forgot to tell you the cowboy rode a blue horse. " Fuck. 138 00:10:20,857 --> 00:10:24,372 I don 't know if you want to see it now, but here's the fucking robot stuff. 139 00:10:24,537 --> 00:10:25,811 Can I say "fuck" more? 140 00:10:25,977 --> 00:10:28,411 Now back to Protocop, starring Jeff Neal. 141 00:10:52,657 --> 00:10:54,648 What the...? 142 00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,285 Oh, my God. 143 00:11:01,217 --> 00:11:02,775 Hey! 144 00:11:08,617 --> 00:11:11,973 Sources close to Neal, who has not worked as an actor in two years... 145 00:11:12,137 --> 00:11:14,207 ...say he seemed despondent earlier tonight... 146 00:11:14,377 --> 00:11:16,288 ...during a rerun of Protocop. 147 00:11:16,457 --> 00:11:19,290 The actor, who still retains a costume he wore on the show... 148 00:11:19,457 --> 00:11:20,856 ...allegedly dressed up... 149 00:11:21,017 --> 00:11:24,805 ...stumbled down the bike path and wandered into this Venice Beach house... 150 00:11:24,977 --> 00:11:29,414 ...where aspiring actress Harmony Faith Lane was shocked to discover him. 151 00:11:29,577 --> 00:11:32,728 I'd jog by, "Hi, hello," you know, that sort of thing. 152 00:11:32,897 --> 00:11:34,376 - Who's this? - I feel for the guy. 153 00:11:34,537 --> 00:11:36,812 This city can 't get enough of messing with people. 154 00:11:36,977 --> 00:11:40,128 Like putting a whoopee cushion on the seat of an electric chair. 155 00:11:40,297 --> 00:11:42,128 - Like that. - They always do this. 156 00:11:42,297 --> 00:11:46,006 You can never see below the waist. It's like a Playmate in 1964. 157 00:11:46,177 --> 00:11:49,249 It was always behind the bedpost or there's a shadow. You never... 158 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:52,011 What am I telling you for? Invite her to something. 159 00:11:52,617 --> 00:11:54,847 And there it was. Bingo. 160 00:11:56,017 --> 00:11:57,928 Destiny. 161 00:12:58,817 --> 00:13:01,377 You know what, you better be her doctor. 162 00:13:01,937 --> 00:13:03,768 Walk away. Don't think, just do it. 163 00:13:03,937 --> 00:13:07,612 What, are you her brother or something? It's none of your business, man. 164 00:13:09,177 --> 00:13:11,850 - I will fuck you up. - No, you'll try. 165 00:13:12,017 --> 00:13:14,690 And that little experiment will end in tears, my friend. 166 00:13:14,857 --> 00:13:18,770 So again, for the cheap seats, do not think, walk the fuck away. 167 00:13:18,937 --> 00:13:20,973 Or let's you and me go outside right now. 168 00:13:21,137 --> 00:13:23,446 It's past my bedtime. 169 00:13:23,617 --> 00:13:25,573 Make a choice. 170 00:13:40,697 --> 00:13:42,653 Asshole. 171 00:13:46,417 --> 00:13:48,089 You all right? 172 00:13:48,857 --> 00:13:50,575 Yeah. 173 00:13:51,057 --> 00:13:52,331 Thanks, bro. 174 00:13:52,497 --> 00:13:54,727 One day, I'll actually learn how to fight. 175 00:13:54,897 --> 00:13:57,127 - Perry Van Shrike. - Hey. Harry Lockhart. 176 00:13:58,417 --> 00:14:02,171 I heard about you. You're the whatchamacallit, the consultant. 177 00:14:02,337 --> 00:14:05,534 - You must be... Anyway... - Gay Perry? 178 00:14:05,697 --> 00:14:08,609 Yeah. Right. Dabney calls you that. 179 00:14:08,777 --> 00:14:11,052 - I guess you guys are old buddies. - Five years. 180 00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:13,287 Wow, five years. 181 00:14:13,457 --> 00:14:14,856 - Still gay? - Me? No. 182 00:14:15,017 --> 00:14:19,613 I'm knee-deep in pussy. I just like the name so much, I can't get rid of it. 183 00:14:20,257 --> 00:14:24,535 You should know better than to fall asleep at a party. There's freaks here. 184 00:14:26,817 --> 00:14:28,808 Dabney wants you to take detective lessons. 185 00:14:28,977 --> 00:14:31,491 - Come again? - For your acting. 186 00:14:31,657 --> 00:14:33,488 I've got surveillance tomorrow. You game? 187 00:14:33,657 --> 00:14:35,329 What's the person like? Crime lord? 188 00:14:35,497 --> 00:14:38,455 Please. I'm guessing some sad, lonely little man... 189 00:14:38,617 --> 00:14:41,654 ...who single-handedly haunts his own home in the Hollywood Hills. 190 00:14:41,817 --> 00:14:44,047 That was incredibly gay. 191 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:47,334 - Good God. Ouch. - Yeah, you should see the other guy. 192 00:14:47,497 --> 00:14:50,614 Harry, this is our generous host, Harlan Dexter. 193 00:14:50,777 --> 00:14:55,089 Ah, yes, of course. You're Dabney's golden boy from back East. 194 00:14:55,257 --> 00:14:56,929 I hope it isn't past your bedtime. 195 00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:59,406 No, sir. My mom used to say I had the neon disease. 196 00:14:59,577 --> 00:15:01,488 When the neon lights came on, I woke up. 197 00:15:01,657 --> 00:15:05,650 I'm afraid I'm similarly afflicted. My daughter just lived 10 years in Paris. 198 00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:09,253 She says it is heaven for the vampire set. 199 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:15,253 If you'll excuse me, apparently I'm meant to help cut this monstrosity. 200 00:15:15,977 --> 00:15:19,652 Mom's gone, so it's just him and his born-again little bundle of joy. 201 00:15:19,817 --> 00:15:21,773 - Born-again? That's precious. - Isn't it? 202 00:15:21,937 --> 00:15:24,531 Three months ago, she was suing him over Mom's millions. 203 00:15:24,697 --> 00:15:26,653 He called her a... Well, a bad word. 204 00:15:28,017 --> 00:15:31,487 Cunt. Welcome to Hollywood. 205 00:15:31,657 --> 00:15:34,251 Okay, I apologize. 206 00:15:34,417 --> 00:15:37,773 That is a terrible scene. It's like, "Why was that in the movie? 207 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,246 Gee, you think maybe it'll come back later, maybe?" 208 00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:43,250 I hate that. A TV's on, talking about the new power plant. 209 00:15:43,417 --> 00:15:45,089 Wonder where the climax will happen. 210 00:15:45,257 --> 00:15:49,011 Or that shot of the cook in Hunt for Red October. Sorry. 211 00:15:49,177 --> 00:15:51,532 Hi, thank you for coming. 212 00:15:51,697 --> 00:15:54,495 Hey, do you know that blond gal who just left? 213 00:15:54,657 --> 00:15:58,093 Oh, the one with the guy that beat the shit out of you? No. 214 00:15:58,257 --> 00:15:59,975 Bye, have a better night. 215 00:16:00,137 --> 00:16:02,287 She had something, that gal, this quality. 216 00:16:02,457 --> 00:16:04,015 Like the girl from high school... 217 00:16:04,177 --> 00:16:07,374 ...the one that got away. You know what I mean? That haunts you still. 218 00:16:07,537 --> 00:16:09,414 - Yeah, I had that. - You did? 219 00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:11,727 Bobby Mills. 220 00:16:13,577 --> 00:16:15,647 Well, maybe you should try to get in touch. 221 00:16:15,817 --> 00:16:18,012 I got 5 bucks says you could still get him. 222 00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:21,328 Really? That's funny. I got a 10 says, "Pass the pepper." 223 00:16:21,497 --> 00:16:24,136 I got two quarters harmonizing on "Moonlight in Vermont." 224 00:16:24,297 --> 00:16:26,253 - What? - Talking money. 225 00:16:26,417 --> 00:16:28,487 - A talking monkey? - Talking monkey, yeah. 226 00:16:28,657 --> 00:16:31,854 Came here from the future. Ugly sucker. Only says, "Ficus." 227 00:16:33,217 --> 00:16:34,889 Detective lessons tomorrow. 228 00:16:35,057 --> 00:16:36,376 - Don't forget. - Okay. 229 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:37,811 And Harry... 230 00:16:37,977 --> 00:16:39,649 Come here. 231 00:16:39,817 --> 00:16:42,126 That girl, I know her. She's done some work for me. 232 00:16:42,977 --> 00:16:44,854 Try the Domino Room. 233 00:16:45,017 --> 00:16:46,609 Where's that? 234 00:17:03,017 --> 00:17:05,850 - Hey there. I'm Flicka. - Hey. 235 00:17:06,017 --> 00:17:08,815 - How are you? - Good. So, what do you do? 236 00:17:10,417 --> 00:17:13,648 - I'm a private detective. And you? - I'm a stewardess. 237 00:17:13,817 --> 00:17:15,535 - Really? - Yeah. 238 00:17:15,697 --> 00:17:17,767 - Well, nice to meet you. - That it? 239 00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:19,973 - Yeah. - Yep. 240 00:17:26,777 --> 00:17:29,530 Could I have a Jack and soda? Thanks. 241 00:17:29,937 --> 00:17:32,451 Evening. Harry. 242 00:17:34,177 --> 00:17:35,735 God, I'm sore. 243 00:17:35,897 --> 00:17:39,970 I mean, physically, not like a guy who's angry in a movie in the 1950s. 244 00:17:43,857 --> 00:17:47,133 - Didn't I see you at a party hours ago? - Why? 245 00:17:47,297 --> 00:17:48,855 - Why what? - Why me? 246 00:17:49,017 --> 00:17:53,647 Seriously, why not the girl over there? Look, she's very pretty. 247 00:17:53,817 --> 00:17:55,091 Which one? 248 00:17:55,257 --> 00:17:57,532 On the left, next to Brazilian Billy Bob Thornton. 249 00:17:57,697 --> 00:17:59,688 Oh, that's a bit of a reach. 250 00:17:59,857 --> 00:18:02,291 I'm interrupting. I feel badly. What are you drinking? 251 00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,971 - Bad. - Bad? Sorry? 252 00:18:05,137 --> 00:18:06,729 - You feel bad. - Bad? 253 00:18:06,897 --> 00:18:10,128 "Badly" is an adverb. To say you feel badly says that the mechanism... 254 00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:14,813 ...which allows you to feel is broken. - Well, that one over there? 255 00:18:14,977 --> 00:18:16,729 Between... Oh, God, nix, nix. That's... 256 00:18:17,537 --> 00:18:20,176 - The blond. The blond's pathetic. - Because? 257 00:18:20,337 --> 00:18:24,853 For starters, she's been fucked more times than she's had hot meals. 258 00:18:25,017 --> 00:18:27,690 I heard. It was neck and neck, and then she skipped lunch. 259 00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,449 - Worst thing, though... - Do tell. 260 00:18:29,617 --> 00:18:32,450 Worst thing is she's 35 years old and still trying to act. 261 00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:35,326 I see her at auditions all the time. 262 00:18:35,817 --> 00:18:38,536 - It's over, baby. You missed. - That's charitable of you. 263 00:18:38,697 --> 00:18:40,176 May I ask how old you are? 264 00:18:41,177 --> 00:18:42,769 - Go for it. - Okay, how old are you? 265 00:18:42,937 --> 00:18:44,256 - Thirty-four. - Yeah? 266 00:18:44,417 --> 00:18:47,932 - I'm a baby. - Where's your buddy? The guy you... 267 00:18:48,097 --> 00:18:51,294 - The guy you left the party with? - He's a fucking asshole. 268 00:18:51,457 --> 00:18:53,413 I just needed a ride. Sorry, I swear a lot. 269 00:18:53,577 --> 00:18:55,488 - I know. It's okay. - Did you know the host? 270 00:18:55,657 --> 00:18:57,887 - No. - He looked familiar, though. 271 00:18:58,057 --> 00:18:59,934 Probably an actor. 272 00:19:01,857 --> 00:19:03,051 Go away, Mr. Fly. 273 00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:07,414 - I was talking to your friend. - She doesn't want to talk to you. 274 00:19:07,577 --> 00:19:09,966 Sunshine, she'll be back to you in a minute. Relax. 275 00:19:10,137 --> 00:19:11,934 She doesn't have a minute. 276 00:19:14,937 --> 00:19:17,656 Tell you what, if you change your mind about that drink... 277 00:19:17,817 --> 00:19:20,968 ...I'll be over there with Native American Joe Pesci. 278 00:19:23,937 --> 00:19:26,405 - You are so... - That was good, right? 279 00:19:26,577 --> 00:19:28,329 Why are you humoring him? Stop it. 280 00:19:28,497 --> 00:19:31,216 You know what, there's an empty table over there. 281 00:19:31,377 --> 00:19:34,255 I hear it's a recommended cheeseball hangout. 282 00:19:34,417 --> 00:19:36,692 Your mouth is a recommended place to put a sock. 283 00:19:36,857 --> 00:19:39,325 Princess. Scary friend. 284 00:19:40,297 --> 00:19:41,650 Goddamn it. 285 00:19:41,817 --> 00:19:45,776 Harry Lockhart, are you gonna recognize me or what? 286 00:19:45,937 --> 00:19:48,087 God! Embrey, Indiana! 287 00:19:50,337 --> 00:19:52,646 Loves snakes, afraid of spiders. 288 00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:57,170 Come on, remember? You were Amazing Harry... 289 00:19:57,337 --> 00:19:59,726 - No, no, no. Harold the Great. - Harmony? 290 00:19:59,897 --> 00:20:01,216 You cut me in half, remember? 291 00:20:01,377 --> 00:20:05,165 Oh, shit. Oh, my God. How are you? 292 00:20:05,337 --> 00:20:07,407 Okay, I was a bad narrator again... 293 00:20:07,577 --> 00:20:10,569 ...because the kid at the beginning, the magician, that was me. 294 00:20:10,737 --> 00:20:12,409 I don 't want to put this on you... 295 00:20:12,577 --> 00:20:15,410 ...but if you've been paying attention, I shouldn 't have to... 296 00:20:15,577 --> 00:20:17,852 Great. No wonder. Ma and Pa Kettle. I got an idea. 297 00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:21,532 Why not put these two lame-o extras in front of the mammoth fucking lens? 298 00:20:21,697 --> 00:20:23,688 Boo. Scat. Fat lady, leave. 299 00:20:23,857 --> 00:20:26,052 See there? "Harold." 300 00:20:26,217 --> 00:20:28,731 Remember how I said this high school chick haunted me? 301 00:20:28,897 --> 00:20:30,853 How seeing Harmony made me think of her? 302 00:20:31,017 --> 00:20:33,406 That's because it was her. It all came flooding back. 303 00:20:34,977 --> 00:20:36,854 How I was the one she confided in. 304 00:20:38,417 --> 00:20:39,770 While she was doing every other guy. 305 00:20:41,097 --> 00:20:43,657 It was the first time I felt that how pitying someone... 306 00:20:43,817 --> 00:20:46,809 ...and wanting to fuck them can get all tangled up in your head. 307 00:20:46,977 --> 00:20:49,286 Overwhelming sadness. Meanwhile, you got a rodney. 308 00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:53,211 Is that sick? I think... Yeah, I think that's sick. 309 00:20:54,177 --> 00:20:58,853 Leaving my sister back home, leaving her there all alone... 310 00:21:00,857 --> 00:21:03,325 Hardest thing I ever did. 311 00:21:05,937 --> 00:21:09,771 Do you remember when we were real little... 312 00:21:09,937 --> 00:21:12,929 ...and a movie crew came to town? 313 00:21:13,097 --> 00:21:15,930 That mystery flick with the guy, Jonny what's-his-name? 314 00:21:16,097 --> 00:21:17,894 - Gossamer. - Jonny Gossamer. Right. 315 00:21:18,057 --> 00:21:21,094 Your mom went nuts, and she bought all the books and stuff. 316 00:21:21,457 --> 00:21:25,450 - That was... God, that was forever ago. - Yeah, that was back in the day. 317 00:21:26,737 --> 00:21:28,136 Harry... 318 00:21:29,257 --> 00:21:31,293 ...I didn't get famous. 319 00:21:33,177 --> 00:21:34,929 Yet. 320 00:21:38,057 --> 00:21:39,729 I did... 321 00:21:39,897 --> 00:21:41,728 ...get to do this one commercial. 322 00:21:41,897 --> 00:21:44,172 You're shitting me. Which one? 323 00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:46,726 Well, you know the one with the bear? 324 00:21:46,897 --> 00:21:50,128 And it goes... Well, this is funny. 325 00:21:50,297 --> 00:21:53,095 - "I prefer Genaros, but..." - "But I'm a bear, what do I know? 326 00:21:53,257 --> 00:21:55,009 I suck heads off fish. " That was you? 327 00:21:55,177 --> 00:21:57,896 - Oh, my God. - Yeah, it was. Yeah. 328 00:21:58,057 --> 00:21:59,695 - That's awesome. - Commercial. 329 00:21:59,857 --> 00:22:01,290 Come on, that's a big deal. 330 00:22:01,457 --> 00:22:03,448 - That's a national commercial. - Harry, stop. 331 00:22:03,617 --> 00:22:07,166 It's nothing. There was actually this kind of cool moment where I got... 332 00:22:07,337 --> 00:22:09,248 ...to sort of do the wave. 333 00:22:11,977 --> 00:22:13,490 "I prefer Genaros." 334 00:22:13,657 --> 00:22:15,852 - Whatever, it's nothing. - It's pretty cool. 335 00:22:16,017 --> 00:22:18,736 - It's nothing special at all. - Well, I think it's special. 336 00:22:19,577 --> 00:22:22,137 Punk-rock Steven Seagal thinks it's special. 337 00:22:22,297 --> 00:22:24,765 Right there, at your 11 o'clock. 338 00:22:24,937 --> 00:22:26,370 That's dead-on, right? 339 00:22:26,537 --> 00:22:29,210 That's all right. I had him pegged when I came in. 340 00:22:30,097 --> 00:22:33,885 Come back to the hotel for a little while, just have one drink. Bring your friend. 341 00:22:34,057 --> 00:22:37,845 It'd just be a drink. You'll be home faster than you can say "Jack Robinson." 342 00:22:38,017 --> 00:22:40,133 I don't know about that. I can say... 343 00:22:41,497 --> 00:22:44,887 ..."Jack Robinson" pretty fast. - I'm timing you. 344 00:22:46,337 --> 00:22:48,293 Jack Robinson. 345 00:23:15,737 --> 00:23:18,376 - Do you have any idea what time it is? - I'm really sorry. 346 00:23:18,537 --> 00:23:21,131 God, you still look great. You're just stunning. I like... 347 00:23:21,297 --> 00:23:23,015 - Why are you here? - Good question. 348 00:23:23,177 --> 00:23:25,486 Sounds crazy, but I don't remember what occurred... 349 00:23:25,657 --> 00:23:27,568 ...between the hours of 2 and 5, a blur. 350 00:23:27,737 --> 00:23:29,728 - Really? Where's Marleah? - Marleah? 351 00:23:29,897 --> 00:23:32,491 - The girl you... - Marleah fell asleep at my place... 352 00:23:32,657 --> 00:23:34,090 ...and I didn't see you leave... 353 00:23:34,257 --> 00:23:36,532 I left when you had your tongue down her throat. 354 00:23:36,697 --> 00:23:37,971 - I did? - Yeah. 355 00:23:38,137 --> 00:23:40,412 God. No, wrong throat, wrong woman. That's bad. 356 00:23:40,577 --> 00:23:42,727 Yeah, that's bad. You got 10 seconds, Harry. 357 00:23:42,897 --> 00:23:44,808 Oh, boy, pressure, pressure. I came here... 358 00:23:44,977 --> 00:23:47,366 ...because I think you're intelligent and attractive... 359 00:23:47,537 --> 00:23:50,847 That's plenty. Stop. Oh, my God! I can't believe you'd come here... 360 00:23:51,017 --> 00:23:53,611 ...to tell me you like me after you fucked my friend! 361 00:23:53,777 --> 00:23:56,132 That's just it, I didn't. I believe that I did not. 362 00:23:56,297 --> 00:23:57,935 What? You said you don't remember! 363 00:23:58,097 --> 00:24:01,373 If I don't remember because I was drunk, how could I have gotten it up? 364 00:24:01,537 --> 00:24:03,448 I know this is outrageous and not normal. 365 00:24:03,617 --> 00:24:07,326 I'm not pretending that I'm normal. I just chickened out... 366 00:24:07,777 --> 00:24:11,406 Moron. Why? Why? Why? 367 00:24:39,817 --> 00:24:43,127 And the plots, they all have this thing, this formula that was so cool. 368 00:24:43,297 --> 00:24:45,492 Seriously, I would go through one in a day. 369 00:24:45,657 --> 00:24:49,047 - A whole book in one day. Wow. - See, Gossamer would always take on... 370 00:24:49,217 --> 00:24:51,287 ...two cases that were seemingly unrelated. 371 00:24:51,457 --> 00:24:53,687 One's normal and the other's some wild shit... 372 00:24:53,857 --> 00:24:56,007 ...then you'd find out that they're connected. 373 00:24:56,177 --> 00:24:58,088 That it's all one case. 374 00:24:58,257 --> 00:24:59,656 That's the essence of the... 375 00:24:59,817 --> 00:25:04,049 Yeah, I get that all the time. Would you mind not rooting around in there? 376 00:25:04,857 --> 00:25:06,256 It's tiny. Is this real? 377 00:25:06,417 --> 00:25:09,454 Yeah, it's a derringer. It's loaded. 378 00:25:09,897 --> 00:25:13,014 - I call it my faggot gun. - Because? 379 00:25:13,177 --> 00:25:17,090 It's only good for a couple shots, then you gotta drop it for something better. 380 00:25:18,417 --> 00:25:20,214 You asked, chief. 381 00:25:21,577 --> 00:25:23,568 On with our lesson. 382 00:25:24,257 --> 00:25:28,375 - My client is one Allison Ames. A-M-E-S. - Ames. 383 00:25:28,537 --> 00:25:31,609 Female. She hired me to do some video surveillance. 384 00:25:31,777 --> 00:25:33,290 - Is she a looker? - Oh, man. 385 00:25:33,457 --> 00:25:36,608 She opens the door, she got nothing on but the radio. 386 00:25:37,137 --> 00:25:39,048 Invites me to sit down, sits on my lap... 387 00:25:39,217 --> 00:25:41,447 ...fires up a smoke. - Really? 388 00:25:41,617 --> 00:25:44,006 No. Idiot. 389 00:25:44,177 --> 00:25:46,054 She hired me over the phone. 390 00:25:46,217 --> 00:25:49,129 - Paid for it with a credit card. - Okay. 391 00:25:49,297 --> 00:25:54,610 Rule number one: This business, real life, it's boring. 392 00:25:54,777 --> 00:25:57,052 - Do you have to smoke? - You want me to put it out? 393 00:25:57,217 --> 00:26:01,210 Yeah, soon as you find a large, brown clump of shrubs, just throw it in there. 394 00:26:01,377 --> 00:26:05,006 So you knew Harmony in high school. You said she dissed you. 395 00:26:05,177 --> 00:26:07,486 No, not really. She fucked every other guy but me. 396 00:26:07,657 --> 00:26:09,773 No, that's not true. She made one concession. 397 00:26:09,937 --> 00:26:12,326 She agreed not to fuck my best friend, Chook Chutney. 398 00:26:12,497 --> 00:26:14,692 He was my best friend, so she gave me that. 399 00:26:14,857 --> 00:26:18,452 - Well, that was nice of her. - Even if he asked, she said she wouldn't. 400 00:26:18,617 --> 00:26:21,370 Stay put. Be quiet. 401 00:26:21,537 --> 00:26:25,371 "Chook Chutney"? Yeah, he's gay. 402 00:26:39,977 --> 00:26:43,652 - What's wrong with his car? - Do I look like a mechanic? 403 00:26:45,537 --> 00:26:48,131 - Are we gonna follow him? - Where'd he go? 404 00:26:48,297 --> 00:26:51,653 He was right in front of us, then he cut in... Where is he? 405 00:26:55,337 --> 00:26:58,613 What the hell. He's gotta be somewhere. He turned right in front of us. 406 00:27:04,297 --> 00:27:06,652 - Jesus! - Shit! 407 00:27:06,817 --> 00:27:08,250 Harry, come back. 408 00:27:08,417 --> 00:27:09,736 Harry. 409 00:27:09,897 --> 00:27:12,650 - There's no one in the car. Harry. - What? 410 00:27:12,817 --> 00:27:14,853 Harry, stop. 411 00:27:15,697 --> 00:27:17,733 - I think it's going down. - Wait, the sound. 412 00:27:17,897 --> 00:27:19,933 - Check the back seat. - No, get the keys! 413 00:27:20,097 --> 00:27:22,213 The keys! Get the keys! 414 00:27:27,497 --> 00:27:28,691 Perry. 415 00:27:30,577 --> 00:27:32,374 Perry? 416 00:27:33,657 --> 00:27:35,215 Shit. 417 00:27:38,377 --> 00:27:40,368 Perry! 418 00:27:43,377 --> 00:27:45,652 Where'd she come from? 419 00:27:45,817 --> 00:27:49,127 She was in the trunk. I had to shoot the lock to get it open. 420 00:27:49,297 --> 00:27:50,571 Oh, Jesus. 421 00:27:52,017 --> 00:27:54,008 God, what did they do to her face? 422 00:27:55,817 --> 00:27:59,446 - Is she dead? - No. She's resting her eyes for a minute. 423 00:27:59,617 --> 00:28:01,812 Of course she's fucking dead. Her neck's broken. 424 00:28:15,057 --> 00:28:17,366 - Hey, what the hell's going on? - Shut up. 425 00:28:18,417 --> 00:28:20,692 - Hey, we got a dead girl here! - Hey, shut up. 426 00:28:20,857 --> 00:28:23,212 Two guys in masks, and there they go. 427 00:28:23,377 --> 00:28:25,174 What the fuck is going on? This is bad. 428 00:28:25,337 --> 00:28:27,134 We gotta roll before the cops come. 429 00:28:27,297 --> 00:28:30,130 - Nix. We go right to the cops. - Exactly, to the cops... 430 00:28:30,297 --> 00:28:33,812 ...who'll believe that she broke her neck before you shot her in the head. 431 00:28:33,977 --> 00:28:35,330 What? 432 00:28:35,497 --> 00:28:37,692 - Come on, we gotta go. - Oh, God. 433 00:28:37,857 --> 00:28:40,212 - We gotta go. Go, go, go. - Oh, God. 434 00:28:40,377 --> 00:28:42,049 Oh, God. 435 00:28:42,217 --> 00:28:45,015 - All right, we're out of here. - We gotta go, go, go. 436 00:28:45,177 --> 00:28:46,451 Where's my gun? 437 00:28:46,617 --> 00:28:48,369 - No, l... - Give me my gun. 438 00:28:48,537 --> 00:28:49,970 - I got rid of it. - Say again. 439 00:28:50,137 --> 00:28:52,128 Threw it in the lake. You wouldn't, I would. 440 00:28:52,297 --> 00:28:54,857 I got priors in New York, so I can't be messing around... 441 00:28:55,017 --> 00:28:56,735 - You threw it away? - It's evidence. 442 00:28:56,897 --> 00:28:59,127 - Watch it. Relax. - Okay, okay. No, I'm sorry. 443 00:28:59,297 --> 00:29:02,209 - I got a little nonplussed there. - This is crazy. I understand. 444 00:29:02,657 --> 00:29:05,012 - What is that? Is that a clue? - What do you mean? 445 00:29:05,177 --> 00:29:06,610 - Do you see that? - In the thing? 446 00:29:07,457 --> 00:29:08,731 What were you thinking? 447 00:29:08,897 --> 00:29:11,889 My $2000 ceramic Vektor my mother got me as a special gift... 448 00:29:12,057 --> 00:29:15,254 ...you threw next to the car. What happens when they drag the lake? 449 00:29:15,417 --> 00:29:17,009 You think they'll find my pistol? 450 00:29:17,177 --> 00:29:20,613 Jesus. Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find? 451 00:29:20,777 --> 00:29:22,290 - A picture of me? - No... 452 00:29:22,457 --> 00:29:25,767 ...the definition of the word "idiot," which you fucking are. 453 00:29:27,577 --> 00:29:29,408 Bitch client. 454 00:29:29,577 --> 00:29:31,647 Hires me, has me witness a murder. 455 00:29:31,817 --> 00:29:34,012 - Can I use a dry towel? This towel's wet. - No. 456 00:29:34,177 --> 00:29:36,327 - This towel is wet. - The towel is for the seat. 457 00:29:36,497 --> 00:29:39,170 This was for your shoes. You handed it to me for my face? 458 00:29:39,337 --> 00:29:41,646 - This is wet. Can I use a dry...? - It's dirty. No. 459 00:29:41,817 --> 00:29:44,411 - Can l...? - No. Stop dripping. 460 00:29:44,777 --> 00:29:47,610 Shit better be improving your acting. 461 00:29:59,217 --> 00:30:00,775 - Get out. - Sorry about the gun. 462 00:30:00,937 --> 00:30:02,609 Whatever. Out. 463 00:30:03,217 --> 00:30:04,889 Go. Sleep badly. 464 00:30:05,737 --> 00:30:07,648 Any questions, hesitate to call. 465 00:30:07,817 --> 00:30:09,694 - Bad. - Excuse me? 466 00:30:09,857 --> 00:30:11,131 Sleep bad. 467 00:30:11,297 --> 00:30:14,175 Otherwise, it seems like the mechanism that allows sleep... 468 00:30:14,337 --> 00:30:17,727 What, fuckhead? "Badly" is an adverb. Who taught you grammar? Out. Vanish. 469 00:30:20,497 --> 00:30:22,135 - I'll give you a buzz. - Die. 470 00:30:31,777 --> 00:30:33,574 That's all right, don't apologize. 471 00:30:33,737 --> 00:30:36,934 - Blow me. You forgot this. - Oh, thanks. 472 00:30:37,817 --> 00:30:39,853 - Hello? - I'm trying to locate Harry Lockhart. 473 00:30:40,017 --> 00:30:41,689 - Speaking. - I'm detective Sgt. Kale. 474 00:30:41,857 --> 00:30:43,893 Mind answering a question or two? 475 00:30:44,057 --> 00:30:46,048 Of course, no problem. Fire away, officer. 476 00:30:46,217 --> 00:30:49,414 Are you familiar with a woman by the name of Harmony Faith Lane? 477 00:30:49,577 --> 00:30:50,851 Yeah, what's this...? 478 00:30:51,017 --> 00:30:53,815 Are you aware of giving your number to Miss Lane recently? 479 00:30:53,977 --> 00:30:55,968 - On a slip of paper, perhaps? - No. 480 00:30:56,137 --> 00:30:59,015 - Are you sure? - Well, maybe she had my number. Why? 481 00:30:59,177 --> 00:31:02,852 We're required by law to treat every suicide as a potential homicide. 482 00:31:03,017 --> 00:31:05,053 Harmony Lane shot herself, sir. 483 00:31:05,217 --> 00:31:07,606 - Suicide? - Yes... 484 00:31:07,777 --> 00:31:09,210 Hello? 485 00:31:09,377 --> 00:31:11,095 Hello? 486 00:31:13,897 --> 00:31:15,728 - I'll be goddamned. - Jesus. 487 00:31:20,817 --> 00:31:22,489 Don't blame yourself. Listen... 488 00:31:22,657 --> 00:31:25,774 ...sometimes these things just happen... - For a reason. 489 00:31:25,937 --> 00:31:28,007 For a reason? Fuck that. 490 00:31:29,777 --> 00:31:32,655 Why? Because I fall off a building, 10 people in Baltimore... 491 00:31:32,817 --> 00:31:34,569 ...survive a bus crash? 492 00:31:34,737 --> 00:31:38,889 Swell, they're enjoying Baltimore. I'm lying here with my brains out. 493 00:31:40,297 --> 00:31:42,253 I've been to Baltimore, you win. 494 00:31:43,697 --> 00:31:45,767 Listen... 495 00:31:47,497 --> 00:31:50,773 ...I'm really sorry. I gotta go. - Yeah. 496 00:31:52,937 --> 00:31:54,848 I gotta go. 497 00:31:56,737 --> 00:31:58,375 I have to go. 498 00:32:12,297 --> 00:32:15,175 Genaros. Pure drinking pleasure. 499 00:32:15,337 --> 00:32:18,215 I prefer Genaros. But what do I know? I'm a bear. 500 00:32:18,377 --> 00:32:21,130 I suck the heads off fish. 501 00:32:22,617 --> 00:32:24,335 Genaros. 502 00:32:26,697 --> 00:32:31,088 I was tired. I was pissed. I was wetter than Drew Barrymore at a grunge club. 503 00:32:31,257 --> 00:32:34,567 I needed a hot bath, a warm bed. 504 00:32:36,417 --> 00:32:38,851 But the night had other plans for me. 505 00:32:39,017 --> 00:32:40,973 - Oh, you did? - I got the Cyber Agent. 506 00:32:41,137 --> 00:32:43,935 - You got the Cyber Agent. - It has all the cool weapons. 507 00:32:44,097 --> 00:32:45,496 You got Protocop coming too. 508 00:32:45,657 --> 00:32:49,252 It's gonna be worth more too because I think he's, like, paralyzed now. 509 00:32:50,937 --> 00:32:52,211 Son of a bitch! 510 00:32:52,377 --> 00:32:56,495 See, I forgot, old Jonny, he always had two cases. Remember? 511 00:32:56,657 --> 00:32:58,170 How are you? 512 00:32:58,377 --> 00:33:00,095 Hey. 513 00:33:02,137 --> 00:33:03,968 She's gone, Harry. 514 00:33:04,137 --> 00:33:06,776 - Yeah. - She's gone. 515 00:33:06,937 --> 00:33:09,895 I know. Who? 516 00:33:10,377 --> 00:33:13,255 Fact is, she stole not only your credit card, but your ID. 517 00:33:13,457 --> 00:33:15,846 We're very sorry about the mix-up on our part. 518 00:33:16,017 --> 00:33:19,168 So are you willing to positively identify this woman as your... 519 00:33:19,377 --> 00:33:21,208 - My sister! Yes! - Your sister was here? 520 00:33:21,417 --> 00:33:23,373 Oh, God! God, we haven't spoken in years. 521 00:33:23,537 --> 00:33:25,971 She's never forgiven me for leaving her all alone. 522 00:33:26,177 --> 00:33:28,896 - I'm just gonna get you a blanket. - I don't want a blanket! 523 00:33:29,057 --> 00:33:30,695 - But you're shivering. - I don't care! 524 00:33:30,897 --> 00:33:32,933 You're freaking me out. Will you relax, okay? 525 00:33:33,097 --> 00:33:35,008 - Oh, God. - I'm so glad that you're okay... 526 00:33:35,177 --> 00:33:38,214 ...but now, I don't know, you're making me more nervous. Sit down. 527 00:33:38,377 --> 00:33:39,730 - Okay. - Tell me what happened. 528 00:33:39,897 --> 00:33:43,253 Yesterday, Jenna, she got into my house, Harry. 529 00:33:43,417 --> 00:33:45,294 She must have been broke, I don't know. 530 00:33:45,457 --> 00:33:48,767 She swiped 200 bucks, a credit card, California ID, God knows what else. 531 00:33:48,937 --> 00:33:50,768 - Right. - Oh, God. 532 00:33:50,937 --> 00:33:52,450 - No more lies, Harry. - No. 533 00:33:52,657 --> 00:33:54,136 No. 534 00:33:54,297 --> 00:33:56,094 Are you a detective? 535 00:33:58,737 --> 00:34:00,614 - Are you a detective? - Who told you that? 536 00:34:00,817 --> 00:34:03,377 Flicka. Flicka. You know, my friend? She told me. 537 00:34:03,537 --> 00:34:05,050 She told me you were a detective. 538 00:34:05,217 --> 00:34:07,526 - Lf you are, then I really need your help. - Well... 539 00:34:07,697 --> 00:34:09,289 That's empty, honey. 540 00:34:09,497 --> 00:34:14,048 Okay, I know this sounds crazy, Harry, but listen. Okay. Okay. 541 00:34:14,257 --> 00:34:17,772 - My sister's been living out here... - Harmony's sister, dead. What the hell? 542 00:34:17,937 --> 00:34:21,213 What was she even doing here? The lady in the lake, now the sister. 543 00:34:21,377 --> 00:34:24,608 This was two corpses in three hours. Am I crazy? That's unusual, right? 544 00:34:24,777 --> 00:34:27,291 Yeah, looking back, I maybe should've told her... 545 00:34:27,457 --> 00:34:29,334 ...I wasn 't really a nipple... Detective. 546 00:34:29,537 --> 00:34:32,927 Detective. Sorry. I should've said something, but she wouldn 't shut up. 547 00:34:33,097 --> 00:34:35,213 The card she stole from me was maxed out. 548 00:34:35,377 --> 00:34:39,768 Right before she died, she charged over $2000 on it. That's weird, isn't it? 549 00:34:39,977 --> 00:34:43,686 Sentron something. Some bullshit company! Plus... 550 00:34:43,897 --> 00:34:47,094 Red flag, Harry. She took her birth control pill for the day. 551 00:34:47,297 --> 00:34:49,333 Why would she even bother with the pill, huh? 552 00:34:49,497 --> 00:34:52,409 She was murdered, Harry. She was murdered. She was murdered. 553 00:34:52,577 --> 00:34:55,091 Honey, all right. Relax, relax, relax. Okay, relax. 554 00:34:55,257 --> 00:34:56,849 Are you gonna help me, Harry? 555 00:34:57,057 --> 00:34:59,776 - I gotta check my schedule... - lf you're not gonna help me... 556 00:34:59,937 --> 00:35:02,690 ...I need to get out of here, find someone that'll help me. 557 00:35:02,857 --> 00:35:05,212 - I just gotta check my schedule. - Can you help me? 558 00:35:05,377 --> 00:35:07,845 If you're not gonna help me, I need to find somebody else! 559 00:35:08,017 --> 00:35:10,815 - My caseload is pretty... - Oh, Harry, thank you. 560 00:35:38,857 --> 00:35:41,007 Yuck, come on. 561 00:35:52,537 --> 00:35:55,256 - It was nothing. I didn't do anything. - What are you doing? 562 00:35:55,417 --> 00:35:57,726 - I didn't do anything. - You were grabbing my tit. 563 00:35:57,897 --> 00:36:00,331 No, there was a spider. There was a big spider. 564 00:36:00,497 --> 00:36:02,965 - Oh, please, whatever. - I swear to God. 565 00:36:03,177 --> 00:36:07,853 Look, I'll find it. I'll find the thing. Where are you? Fuzzy little bitch. 566 00:36:08,057 --> 00:36:11,333 - Whatever. It's okay, I believe you. - Clearly, you don't. 567 00:36:11,577 --> 00:36:14,774 Look, Harry, you grabbed my tit. It's life, all right? It's no biggie. 568 00:36:16,377 --> 00:36:20,336 No biggie? Guy grabs your tit, "That's life, no biggie"? 569 00:36:20,537 --> 00:36:23,449 I mean, what kind of talk is that? 570 00:36:23,617 --> 00:36:26,848 No, you tell me. What kind of talk is that? I can't believe you. 571 00:36:27,017 --> 00:36:29,895 I can't believe that that's the reaction that... 572 00:36:34,537 --> 00:36:35,890 See there? 573 00:36:36,177 --> 00:36:37,656 Yeah. 574 00:36:37,857 --> 00:36:41,327 - I trust you. - Right. 575 00:36:41,537 --> 00:36:45,052 What is your problem? I'm letting you off the hook. You didn't do anything. 576 00:36:45,217 --> 00:36:46,730 No, but you thought I did. 577 00:36:46,937 --> 00:36:50,168 Do you get it? I'm on the hook. The hook is my home. Do you understand? 578 00:36:50,537 --> 00:36:54,610 Listen to me. I grab your tit, it's a fucking biggie! 579 00:36:54,777 --> 00:36:56,972 That came out wrong. But what I'm saying is... 580 00:36:57,137 --> 00:37:01,016 ...you act like, "Oops, it's an okay lapse. You know, everybody does it." 581 00:37:01,737 --> 00:37:04,012 What the fuck kind of guys you hang out with here? 582 00:37:04,217 --> 00:37:06,777 I mean, are you the kind of girl who like, you know...? 583 00:37:06,937 --> 00:37:08,848 Who what, Harry? 584 00:37:10,057 --> 00:37:11,649 Who what? 585 00:37:13,857 --> 00:37:15,529 Forget it. 586 00:37:16,137 --> 00:37:18,367 I'm sorry, just relax. Just get some rest, okay? 587 00:37:18,537 --> 00:37:22,576 Okay, we'll start on your case tomorrow. All right? 588 00:37:22,737 --> 00:37:24,534 - Afternoon good? - Whatever, Harry. 589 00:37:24,697 --> 00:37:25,971 - I'm going. - Okay. 590 00:37:26,137 --> 00:37:29,368 - I'm taking some sweats, all right? - Yeah, anything you want to borrow. 591 00:37:29,537 --> 00:37:32,449 - I'll give them back. - Yeah. Yeah, anything in the drawer. 592 00:37:32,617 --> 00:37:34,494 If it's in the drawer, it's clean. 593 00:37:35,817 --> 00:37:37,091 Night, Harry. 594 00:37:39,817 --> 00:37:41,250 Harry? 595 00:37:42,537 --> 00:37:44,255 This is... 596 00:37:44,417 --> 00:37:47,329 - This is really great. - Isn't it? 597 00:37:47,497 --> 00:37:50,694 - I'm leaving. - Yeah, some nice rest. 598 00:37:50,857 --> 00:37:52,131 Bye. 599 00:37:52,657 --> 00:37:54,693 Fuck off...! 600 00:37:55,177 --> 00:37:57,645 Say again? They gave her back? 601 00:37:57,857 --> 00:38:00,655 Yes. She's in my shower. I'm looking at her, for chrissake. 602 00:38:00,817 --> 00:38:02,853 That's impossible. They don 't even know you. 603 00:38:03,017 --> 00:38:07,613 You're right. The body can't be here. This is all a dream. There's Elmo the elf. 604 00:38:07,777 --> 00:38:09,813 - Shut up. How did they get in? - I don't know. 605 00:38:09,977 --> 00:38:12,047 How am I supposed to know? Fire escape, maybe. 606 00:38:12,257 --> 00:38:15,852 Okay, first things first. We gotta move her somewhere. You got gloves? 607 00:38:16,017 --> 00:38:17,814 - Excuse me? - Gloves. Do you have gloves? 608 00:38:17,977 --> 00:38:21,890 You have to move her. If it's a frame-up, some asshole's calling the cops on you. 609 00:38:22,057 --> 00:38:24,776 Do this: Wrap up the body in a blanket, a sheet, anything. 610 00:38:24,937 --> 00:38:28,054 - Okay, any particular kind of gloves? - Yes, fawn. 611 00:38:28,257 --> 00:38:29,656 Will you fucking hurry? 612 00:38:29,817 --> 00:38:31,091 - Perry? - Yeah? 613 00:38:31,257 --> 00:38:33,248 - I peed on it. - What? You peed on what? 614 00:38:33,457 --> 00:38:36,051 I peed on the corpse. Can they do, like, an ID from that? 615 00:38:36,217 --> 00:38:38,970 - I'm sorry, you peed on...? - On the corpse. My question is... 616 00:38:39,177 --> 00:38:40,769 No, my question. I get to go first. 617 00:38:40,937 --> 00:38:43,212 Why in poo-perfect hell would you pee on a corpse? 618 00:38:43,417 --> 00:38:45,135 It's not like I did it for kicks. 619 00:38:45,297 --> 00:38:47,936 You said this doesn't happen. This is your fault! 620 00:38:48,097 --> 00:38:51,214 Shut up and listen. First, we have to wrap the body. 621 00:38:51,377 --> 00:38:53,095 Second, you've got to find the gun. 622 00:38:53,297 --> 00:38:56,016 - Say this with me, "Find the gun." - Find the gun. 623 00:38:56,217 --> 00:38:57,809 Damn it, I threw it in the lake. 624 00:38:58,017 --> 00:39:01,054 Not my gun, idiot. They dropped the body on you, it's a frame-up. 625 00:39:01,217 --> 00:39:03,811 Then they also have planted a gun, trust me. Move it. 626 00:39:03,977 --> 00:39:06,207 I'll be there in four minutes. 627 00:39:23,777 --> 00:39:29,773 Caller specified room 714, some sort of brawl or something. Violent. 628 00:39:29,937 --> 00:39:32,929 Yeah, 714. Lockhart. 629 00:39:33,097 --> 00:39:36,533 - Let me get you the key. - Actually, it's not 714, it's 514. 630 00:39:36,697 --> 00:39:39,006 I was just up there, and it's really noisy. 631 00:39:39,177 --> 00:39:42,089 - Let's get the key. - Yep, pretty awful. 632 00:39:52,937 --> 00:39:55,371 - Don't answer that. - Yeah, duh. 633 00:39:55,817 --> 00:39:57,648 - That it? - No, that's the corpse... 634 00:39:57,817 --> 00:39:59,648 ...from the last guy who stayed here. 635 00:39:59,817 --> 00:40:01,091 Fuck off. Was there a gun? 636 00:40:01,257 --> 00:40:04,135 Yeah, it's right here. Perry, sons of bitches made us, made me. 637 00:40:04,297 --> 00:40:07,334 I'm in town for two days, they know who I am and where to find me. 638 00:40:07,497 --> 00:40:11,172 - That's impossible. - Yeah, it's totally nuts. Back stairway. 639 00:40:12,737 --> 00:40:16,127 I forgot to tell you, Harmony's alive. She thinks her sister was murdered. 640 00:40:16,297 --> 00:40:18,049 - Come again? - Never mind. 641 00:40:33,177 --> 00:40:36,055 See, these dudes tonight, they see two assholes out of nowhere. 642 00:40:36,217 --> 00:40:38,526 - What do they think? - They think we know something. 643 00:40:38,737 --> 00:40:41,809 They panic. They got a body, they've gotta dispose of the evidence. 644 00:40:41,977 --> 00:40:43,808 In my shower? Come on, you said real life. 645 00:40:43,977 --> 00:40:48,129 - They were setting you up, dummy. - They're not setting me up. Shut up. 646 00:40:48,297 --> 00:40:50,447 You change your tune every five minutes. 647 00:40:50,617 --> 00:40:52,812 - Kiss me. - What? No, no, no. 648 00:40:56,177 --> 00:40:59,169 Check out Doris and Lucinda over here. 649 00:41:06,617 --> 00:41:07,891 These lessons suck. 650 00:41:08,097 --> 00:41:11,169 I quit. This is not being a detective. Corpses floating in lakes... 651 00:41:11,337 --> 00:41:15,216 ...people kissing people. This is wrong. This is every shade of wrong. 652 00:41:15,377 --> 00:41:17,447 Somebody wanna fill me in? 653 00:41:18,697 --> 00:41:20,892 She thinks I'm a detective, so go along with it. 654 00:41:21,057 --> 00:41:22,410 - What? - Don't fuck me up. 655 00:41:22,937 --> 00:41:24,973 Hey. 656 00:41:25,177 --> 00:41:27,930 Do you know the cops are looking for you, Harry? 657 00:41:28,097 --> 00:41:29,371 - They are? - Yeah. 658 00:41:29,537 --> 00:41:32,415 I sent them to the wrong room. I didn't know what else to do. 659 00:41:32,617 --> 00:41:35,006 You did fine. Perry and I, we're just... 660 00:41:35,217 --> 00:41:37,651 - Hiya, Perry. - We're just running, you know, a game. 661 00:41:37,817 --> 00:41:39,455 Perry, what do you call it? 662 00:41:39,617 --> 00:41:43,815 The old Bring Them In and Push Them Out. That's what we're doing. 663 00:41:43,977 --> 00:41:45,251 What's going on? 664 00:41:45,417 --> 00:41:48,215 Why are you and Perry nacking on each other? 665 00:41:51,777 --> 00:41:55,292 I sent her home believing, A, we'd meet tomorrow to go over her case... 666 00:41:55,457 --> 00:41:57,527 ...and, B, I wasn 't actually gay. 667 00:41:57,737 --> 00:41:59,932 Do not ask me how I did B. 668 00:42:00,337 --> 00:42:02,134 Why didn't we just leave it there? 669 00:42:02,297 --> 00:42:04,492 Think, dummy. A 911 call from your hotel room... 670 00:42:04,657 --> 00:42:07,217 ...all of a sudden, there's a corpse outside? Bad idea. 671 00:42:07,377 --> 00:42:10,687 Speaking of bad ideas, what's this about you taking on your own case? 672 00:42:10,857 --> 00:42:12,893 Of all the dipshit things to do. 673 00:42:13,057 --> 00:42:14,536 Killed herself, by the way. 674 00:42:14,737 --> 00:42:16,648 Killed herself. I solved your case for you. 675 00:42:16,817 --> 00:42:19,695 - Harmony's convinced... - I don't care about... Listen to me. 676 00:42:19,857 --> 00:42:23,008 - Little sis punched her own ticket. - Okay. Gotcha. 677 00:42:23,177 --> 00:42:26,374 All right, this looks good up ahead. Time to lose the luggage. 678 00:42:33,937 --> 00:42:35,575 Sorry, sweetheart. 679 00:42:35,737 --> 00:42:37,614 You deserved better. 680 00:42:48,097 --> 00:42:50,008 Before I left, I got her into foster care. 681 00:42:50,177 --> 00:42:53,692 I've never told you just how awful he treated her. My dad, I'm talking about. 682 00:42:53,857 --> 00:42:56,655 I'll tell you what, I take notes, in general... 683 00:42:56,817 --> 00:43:01,208 ...so if you're just real specific, thorough and precise, that'll help. 684 00:43:01,417 --> 00:43:04,250 I remember only lying to her one time. 685 00:43:04,417 --> 00:43:05,770 I said to her: 686 00:43:05,977 --> 00:43:08,889 "Maybe the man who is living here is not your father." 687 00:43:09,097 --> 00:43:11,691 You told your sister she was adopted, yeah? 688 00:43:12,617 --> 00:43:14,016 No, I did one better. 689 00:43:14,177 --> 00:43:16,133 I told her her real father was an actor... 690 00:43:16,297 --> 00:43:18,731 ...who was in the movie that came through town. 691 00:43:18,897 --> 00:43:21,536 - Jonny Gossamer... - Jonny Gossamer movie. That's right. 692 00:43:22,257 --> 00:43:24,487 I told Jenna one day she'd go to Hollywood... 693 00:43:24,657 --> 00:43:27,410 ...and she'd meet her famous, real father. 694 00:43:39,777 --> 00:43:42,610 She believed me, Harry, and she came out here looking for him. 695 00:43:42,777 --> 00:43:45,849 Okay, this is a bunch. I can start my... 696 00:43:46,177 --> 00:43:48,372 ...process, I guess. - Thank you. 697 00:43:48,577 --> 00:43:51,375 I'm on the case. Here is my card. 698 00:43:53,017 --> 00:43:55,611 - It's a magic card, so... - Wow, "the Amazing Harold." 699 00:43:55,817 --> 00:43:58,729 - Just say "abracadabra." - What happened, somebody sue you? 700 00:43:59,297 --> 00:44:01,686 It used to be "alakazam" when you cut me in half. 701 00:44:01,857 --> 00:44:04,371 And, not to be picky, but it was "Harold the Great." 702 00:44:04,537 --> 00:44:08,052 No, I used to be great, now I'm amazing. Get with it. 703 00:44:09,417 --> 00:44:11,567 Hi, it's me. You hear anything? 704 00:44:11,777 --> 00:44:13,608 No, there's nothing in the papers, so... 705 00:44:13,777 --> 00:44:16,337 I'm busy working on Harmony's case. 706 00:44:16,537 --> 00:44:17,856 What case? Leave her alone. 707 00:44:18,057 --> 00:44:21,129 News on Channel 5, just starting. Call me after. 708 00:44:21,937 --> 00:44:24,690 - A kidnapping gone wrong. It is unclear why his daughter... 709 00:44:24,857 --> 00:44:26,688 ...was subsequently murdered or where... 710 00:44:26,897 --> 00:44:30,446 ...for she was almost certainly killed and then moved, police sources say. 711 00:44:30,617 --> 00:44:33,336 Veronica Dexter was reported missing yesterday afternoon... 712 00:44:33,497 --> 00:44:36,091 ...when she failed to greet her boyfriend at the airport. 713 00:44:36,257 --> 00:44:39,329 Miss Dexter recently made headlines when she returned from Paris... 714 00:44:39,497 --> 00:44:42,694 ...and withdrew her multimillion-dollar lawsuit against her father... 715 00:44:42,857 --> 00:44:45,451 ...actor-turned-entrepreneur Harlan Dexter. 716 00:44:45,617 --> 00:44:47,687 Mr. Dexter owns the prestigious Dexter Clinic. 717 00:44:47,857 --> 00:44:51,293 His wife died last spring, prompting Veronica 's return to the U. S... 718 00:44:51,457 --> 00:44:55,086 ...and a father-daughter reconciliation following years of estrangement. 719 00:44:55,297 --> 00:44:59,370 Veronica Dexter, 25 years old yesterday. Paul. 720 00:44:59,697 --> 00:45:01,813 We were just at that party. Are you telling me... 721 00:45:01,977 --> 00:45:04,491 ...that the girl in the lake, that was Veronica Dexter? 722 00:45:04,657 --> 00:45:06,375 Positive ID, scars, dental records. 723 00:45:06,537 --> 00:45:09,051 - You talked to your police guy? - Yeah, not much there. 724 00:45:09,217 --> 00:45:11,970 The lab report came back, no sign of rape. 725 00:45:12,457 --> 00:45:13,776 Boils down to this: 726 00:45:13,937 --> 00:45:17,725 Veronica Dexter, yesterday afternoon about 4:30, left her home. 727 00:45:17,897 --> 00:45:21,446 Went off to the airport, pick up some dude, old boyfriend. Off she went. 728 00:45:21,617 --> 00:45:25,053 - That was the last anybody saw of her? - With a symmetrical, ungooshed head. 729 00:45:25,217 --> 00:45:26,650 Police ever find the car? 730 00:45:26,817 --> 00:45:28,853 No, genius, that was us. Remember? 731 00:45:29,057 --> 00:45:30,456 Oh, yeah, right. 732 00:45:30,897 --> 00:45:33,365 - The killers were at the party, Harry. - They were? 733 00:45:33,537 --> 00:45:36,609 - The killers were at Dexter's? - That's how they recognized you. 734 00:45:36,817 --> 00:45:39,854 It's getting too scary. You gotta bail. Get a flight out, today. 735 00:45:40,017 --> 00:45:43,009 But I got my screen test Tuesday. I'll go Wednesday. 736 00:45:43,177 --> 00:45:45,930 - You're not getting the part. - Fuck off. Don't be a schmuck. 737 00:45:46,137 --> 00:45:48,731 - I know it's a long shot. - You're not gonna get the part. 738 00:45:48,897 --> 00:45:51,365 You're not listening to me. You won't get the... Harry! 739 00:45:51,537 --> 00:45:56,088 You're not gonna get the part, okay? Colin Farrell wants too much money. 740 00:45:56,257 --> 00:45:57,736 Do you get me now? 741 00:45:58,537 --> 00:46:01,973 Dabney, he unearths a discovery. New kid, works for cheap. 742 00:46:02,177 --> 00:46:04,486 Flies him out here, high profile, parties... 743 00:46:04,697 --> 00:46:07,575 ...screen tests, detective lessons, all of it. 744 00:46:07,777 --> 00:46:09,051 You were just being used. 745 00:46:09,217 --> 00:46:11,777 Shave a couple million off of Colin Farrell's price tag. 746 00:46:13,617 --> 00:46:15,812 Sorry, chief. There it is. 747 00:46:16,497 --> 00:46:18,010 I'm not gonna lie to you anymore. 748 00:46:20,377 --> 00:46:23,369 I understand if you wanna take a swing at me. You fuck! 749 00:46:23,577 --> 00:46:25,215 You sissy bitch! 750 00:46:25,417 --> 00:46:26,691 Stop. 751 00:46:26,857 --> 00:46:28,893 Don't bother asking Harmony out on your date. 752 00:46:29,057 --> 00:46:33,687 She wasn't very happy to find out that you're not a detective, that you lied. 753 00:46:33,857 --> 00:46:35,654 - You told her? - Pick those up. 754 00:46:35,857 --> 00:46:37,415 Pick them up. 755 00:46:38,497 --> 00:46:40,806 Why did you tell her? You didn't have to tell her. 756 00:46:41,017 --> 00:46:43,850 - I am an idiot. I thought we were friends. - We're not friends. 757 00:46:44,017 --> 00:46:47,293 - I was in trouble, you were there for me. - No, I was... Stop speaking. 758 00:46:47,497 --> 00:46:50,136 I was there protecting my employer, Dabney. Hello. 759 00:46:50,337 --> 00:46:52,407 He pays me to insulate him from corpses. 760 00:46:57,897 --> 00:47:00,286 I'm not a nice man, Harry. 761 00:47:00,457 --> 00:47:02,812 Go home before something bad happens to you. 762 00:47:03,017 --> 00:47:05,247 - What, are you threatening me? - No, moron. 763 00:47:05,417 --> 00:47:07,885 Go home before the bad guys do something bad to you. 764 00:47:08,057 --> 00:47:09,888 Right, I get it. Fine. 765 00:47:10,857 --> 00:47:12,688 Merry Christmas. Sorry I fucked you over. 766 00:47:12,857 --> 00:47:15,894 No problem. Don't quit your gay job. 767 00:47:27,697 --> 00:47:30,689 Arriving passengers from flight number 758 from Denver... 768 00:47:30,897 --> 00:47:33,331 ...may retrieve their baggage at carousel two. 769 00:47:38,097 --> 00:47:41,055 Hey, Flicka. Hey, it's me, Harry. 770 00:47:41,217 --> 00:47:43,253 Remember me? What's up, honey? How are you? 771 00:47:43,417 --> 00:47:45,851 - She doesn't want to talk to you. - Oh, no, no. I know. 772 00:47:46,017 --> 00:47:48,406 Did you ever think maybe I don't want to talk to her? 773 00:47:48,577 --> 00:47:50,772 I just saw your really distinctive ears. 774 00:47:50,937 --> 00:47:53,053 You look different, but it's obviously Flicka. 775 00:47:53,217 --> 00:47:55,447 - Maybe it's you I'm interested in. - Is that true? 776 00:47:55,617 --> 00:47:58,450 Not really. Look, she must have a cell phone, right? She must. 777 00:47:58,617 --> 00:48:02,053 - Forget it. This is between you two. - Look, I got a ticket. I am leaving. 778 00:48:02,217 --> 00:48:04,890 I'm going back to the East Coast, and that's... 779 00:48:05,057 --> 00:48:07,730 No? Come on, I just want to say something to her. 780 00:48:07,897 --> 00:48:11,526 Just anything before I split. I'm begging you. Come on, help me out. 781 00:48:11,697 --> 00:48:13,608 - I'm gonna regret this. - No, you're not... 782 00:48:13,777 --> 00:48:16,337 ...and that is a very smart suit, by the way. 783 00:48:18,337 --> 00:48:20,726 - It's not here, that's funny. - What's funny? 784 00:48:20,937 --> 00:48:22,734 Nothing. It's just under her stage name. 785 00:48:22,897 --> 00:48:26,173 Oh, God. Everyone's got a stage name. What's her stage name? 786 00:48:26,337 --> 00:48:29,010 Ames. Allison Ames. 787 00:48:29,177 --> 00:48:31,293 Okay, well, I'll just write it down and then... 788 00:48:31,457 --> 00:48:33,493 Hey! Say that name again. 789 00:48:33,697 --> 00:48:36,575 - Allison Ames. - Allison Ames. A-M-E-S. 790 00:48:36,737 --> 00:48:38,693 - That's her stage name. - I just said that. 791 00:48:38,857 --> 00:48:40,495 That's the name on her credit cards. 792 00:48:40,657 --> 00:48:44,127 - How am I supposed to know? - Fuck! Thanks, honey. Gotta roll. 793 00:48:44,297 --> 00:48:45,889 Later. 794 00:48:46,337 --> 00:48:50,649 You have reached the offices of Sentron, Inc. Leave a message. 795 00:48:51,177 --> 00:48:54,010 Newsflash, Perry. Your client, Ames, it was the little sister. 796 00:48:54,177 --> 00:48:55,849 Repeat, the little sister. 797 00:48:56,017 --> 00:48:57,848 That's where Harmony's 2 grand went. 798 00:48:58,017 --> 00:49:00,133 It's in your bank, you overpriced bastard. 799 00:49:00,297 --> 00:49:01,969 Her kid sister hired you. 800 00:49:02,137 --> 00:49:07,530 Do you get this? Your case and my case are the same fucking case. 801 00:49:08,057 --> 00:49:10,127 - Come on! - Get out of my life! 802 00:49:10,337 --> 00:49:13,852 I'm at the airport, right, and I run into Flicka, and she says... 803 00:49:15,017 --> 00:49:17,372 - Did I just cut off your finger? - Yeah. 804 00:49:17,537 --> 00:49:21,974 It's on the floor, to my periph... I don't wanna see it. Pick it up, put it on ice. 805 00:49:22,257 --> 00:49:23,736 Thanks. 806 00:49:29,457 --> 00:49:31,254 You're a genius, Harry. You're a genius. 807 00:49:31,417 --> 00:49:34,648 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry I had to bail on you, but I had to go to work. 808 00:49:34,817 --> 00:49:37,331 I am going nuts here. I can 't stop thinking about this. 809 00:49:37,497 --> 00:49:40,011 What's my sister's connection to Veronica Dexter? 810 00:49:40,177 --> 00:49:43,806 She predicted that murder, Harry. She sent you and Perry to that exact spot. 811 00:49:43,977 --> 00:49:47,936 That whole thing is wild. You know what else is nuts? You cut off my finger! 812 00:49:48,137 --> 00:49:52,016 Oh, God, Harry, I am so sorry about that. How is it? 813 00:49:52,217 --> 00:49:54,811 It's fine. It's all shut up. They gave me painkillers. 814 00:49:54,977 --> 00:49:57,696 - Where's Perry? We gotta find him. - Perry's coming by here. 815 00:49:57,897 --> 00:49:59,535 I'm working a party on Sunset Plaza. 816 00:49:59,697 --> 00:50:02,894 Remember you said the killer may have been at Dexter's party? 817 00:50:03,057 --> 00:50:06,891 - Well, that whole bunch is here tonight. - Honey, put me on the list, I'll drop by. 818 00:50:07,057 --> 00:50:11,175 I'll see if I can stir up the kettle, stick out my hat, see if anyone shoots at it. 819 00:50:11,337 --> 00:50:13,328 Maybe you could put the hat in the kettle... 820 00:50:13,497 --> 00:50:17,092 ...and if they shoot at it, it'll ricochet. Harry, you sound trashed. 821 00:50:17,257 --> 00:50:18,975 Give me the address. I'm coming. 822 00:50:21,297 --> 00:50:23,527 I showed up mildly whacked on Demerol... 823 00:50:23,697 --> 00:50:26,370 ...thinking Harmony's theory wasn 't so crazy. 824 00:50:26,537 --> 00:50:27,811 Hi. 825 00:50:27,977 --> 00:50:30,696 What if little sis had been murdered by the same assholes... 826 00:50:30,857 --> 00:50:32,256 ...who offed Veronica Dexter? 827 00:50:32,417 --> 00:50:34,373 Remember? With the ski masks, those dudes. 828 00:50:34,537 --> 00:50:36,209 Then and there, I made a decision. 829 00:50:36,377 --> 00:50:39,528 If it fucking killed me, I would not stop... 830 00:50:39,737 --> 00:50:42,171 ...until I got, like, two more Demerol. 831 00:50:42,337 --> 00:50:47,127 No, seriously, I was on the case. Harry Lockhart, L.A.P.I. 832 00:51:05,057 --> 00:51:06,615 - I got it. - What do you got? 833 00:51:06,777 --> 00:51:09,735 Just now. My friend Tiff does the video dubbing at Fox. 834 00:51:11,217 --> 00:51:14,175 - "Lord of the Cock Rings." - No, Harry, it's a fake label. 835 00:51:14,337 --> 00:51:17,773 Copyright infringement, she'd get fired. It's a Jonny Gossamer movie. 836 00:51:17,937 --> 00:51:21,896 If Jenna was hunting her mystery dad, this is where she would start, right? 837 00:51:22,057 --> 00:51:23,934 - Jesus, don't patronize me! - I'm not. 838 00:51:24,097 --> 00:51:27,646 - You're patronizing me. - No, I'm not. It's just a funny little buzz. 839 00:51:27,857 --> 00:51:30,246 I don't know if this guy's your boyfriend or not... 840 00:51:30,417 --> 00:51:33,215 ...but when you were in the bathroom, he was checking me out. 841 00:51:33,417 --> 00:51:37,535 What? What is it out here with these women? 842 00:51:37,697 --> 00:51:39,972 Please, they're no different from anywhere else. 843 00:51:40,137 --> 00:51:43,766 They are. These are damaged goods, every one of them, from way back. 844 00:51:43,977 --> 00:51:47,174 Take a guy who sleeps with 100 women a year, go into his childhood... 845 00:51:47,337 --> 00:51:49,851 ...dollars to doughnuts, it's relatively unspectacular. 846 00:51:50,017 --> 00:51:53,327 Now, you take one of these gals who sleeps with 100 guys a year... 847 00:51:53,497 --> 00:51:56,011 ...and I bet you if you look in their childhood... 848 00:51:56,177 --> 00:51:58,133 ...there's something rotten in Denver. 849 00:51:58,297 --> 00:52:00,288 - Denmark. - That too. But it's abandonment... 850 00:52:00,457 --> 00:52:03,290 ...it's abuse. It's, "My uncle put his ping-ping in my papa." 851 00:52:03,457 --> 00:52:04,731 Then they all come out here. 852 00:52:04,897 --> 00:52:07,809 It's like someone took America by the East Coast and shook it... 853 00:52:07,977 --> 00:52:10,093 ...and all the normal girls managed to hang on. 854 00:52:10,257 --> 00:52:14,011 Okay, everybody who hates Harry here raise their hand. 855 00:52:15,097 --> 00:52:18,772 - See that? Obedient little bitches too. - Fuck you! 856 00:52:18,977 --> 00:52:20,330 Hey. 857 00:52:20,497 --> 00:52:23,967 Okay, you've got 30 of my fucking seconds, thrill me. 858 00:52:25,897 --> 00:52:27,171 All right, guys, cast list. 859 00:52:27,337 --> 00:52:29,931 Catch. That's the credit card my sister used to hire you. 860 00:52:31,297 --> 00:52:33,208 So who's in this cinematic milestone? 861 00:52:33,377 --> 00:52:38,007 - We got a Michael Beck, whoever that is. - He's the star of Xanadu, with... 862 00:52:38,177 --> 00:52:40,532 ...Olivia Newton-John and Gene Kelly. - Gay. 863 00:52:41,617 --> 00:52:42,891 - What? - Nothing. 864 00:52:43,057 --> 00:52:46,254 Perry, listen up. I know this is a long shot, but indulge me, please. 865 00:52:46,417 --> 00:52:48,692 We gotta lose the hat. I'm sorry, honey, I can't... 866 00:52:48,857 --> 00:52:51,007 - God, I'm working! - I know, but just forget it. 867 00:52:51,177 --> 00:52:54,772 Seriously, don't jump all over me. Just pay attention. Watch it, please. 868 00:52:54,937 --> 00:52:56,336 - That's Harlan Dexter. - What? 869 00:52:56,497 --> 00:52:58,647 - Who's Har...? What? - Look, that's... 870 00:52:58,857 --> 00:53:01,371 He's 20 years younger, but that's Harlan Dexter. 871 00:53:01,537 --> 00:53:03,687 Always sees the inside of a police van. 872 00:53:05,337 --> 00:53:06,611 No way. 873 00:53:08,457 --> 00:53:11,449 This kind of makes sense. He had the Gossamer books at his house. 874 00:53:11,657 --> 00:53:12,931 Used to be an actor. 875 00:53:13,137 --> 00:53:16,413 I remember him now. 1980. Oh, my God, I saw him like this. 876 00:53:16,617 --> 00:53:18,448 - Young. - Where? 877 00:53:18,657 --> 00:53:21,046 In Indiana. He was there with the movie crew. 878 00:53:21,217 --> 00:53:25,176 Remember, I told you he looked familiar. Oh, God, this can't be true. 879 00:53:25,657 --> 00:53:29,730 And your sister has to have seen this, so you know what it comes down to. 880 00:53:29,897 --> 00:53:32,616 You tell your sister a fairy tale about her real father... 881 00:53:32,777 --> 00:53:36,167 And 20 years later, she comes out to L.A. Hunting Harlan Dexter. 882 00:53:39,337 --> 00:53:42,010 I've got a surveillance in MacArthur Park. 883 00:53:42,177 --> 00:53:45,772 I gotta follow some chick around till midnight. Do not play detective. 884 00:53:45,937 --> 00:53:47,928 This is not a book. This is not a movie. 885 00:53:48,097 --> 00:53:49,815 We got it. Do you think I'm stupid? 886 00:53:49,977 --> 00:53:51,968 You wouldn't know where to feed yourself... 887 00:53:52,137 --> 00:53:56,847 ...if you didn't flap your mouth so much. Yes, I think you're stupid. 888 00:53:57,737 --> 00:54:01,366 Harry, don't listen to a word he says, all right? We're getting somewhere. 889 00:54:01,577 --> 00:54:03,807 I'll call you tomorrow. I'm going back to work. 890 00:54:03,977 --> 00:54:04,853 Good. 891 00:54:20,937 --> 00:54:23,610 - Excuse me. - What's up, baby? How you feeling? 892 00:54:23,817 --> 00:54:26,377 - I'm just gonna... - Come and take a walk. Walk with me. 893 00:54:26,537 --> 00:54:28,607 Great, this is fucking rich. 894 00:54:30,257 --> 00:54:32,817 Well, now, here we all are: 895 00:54:32,977 --> 00:54:36,686 - Ike, Mike and Mustard. - What the hell does that mean? 896 00:54:36,897 --> 00:54:39,616 I'm with him on this one. That's pretty fucking obscure. 897 00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:41,574 - I hear that all the time. - You do? 898 00:54:41,737 --> 00:54:43,853 - Yeah, sure. - Where? At the 1942 Club? 899 00:54:44,017 --> 00:54:47,851 - Just because you didn't get it... - Motherfucker, I could... Slow your roll. 900 00:54:48,057 --> 00:54:51,208 This is bullshit. What will you do, take me out here? There's sec... 901 00:54:51,417 --> 00:54:54,295 - Keep talking. Keep talking. - You wanna know who we are? 902 00:54:54,497 --> 00:54:57,136 I'm the frying pan, see? And my boy over here... 903 00:54:57,297 --> 00:54:59,765 He's Mustard. I'm Mustard, baby. 904 00:54:59,977 --> 00:55:01,251 - Sure. - He's the fire. 905 00:55:01,457 --> 00:55:04,415 - Fuck you, Mr. Mustard. - Here we go. 906 00:55:04,617 --> 00:55:07,734 Now, me and my man, we're puzzled lately by your behavior, such as... 907 00:55:07,897 --> 00:55:13,449 Such as why is a savvy, stand-up cat like yourself consorting with gay men? 908 00:55:14,697 --> 00:55:16,972 Frolicking in the lake together. What is that? 909 00:55:17,137 --> 00:55:19,287 You're the guys who were wearing the masks. 910 00:55:19,497 --> 00:55:22,614 - You don't ask the questions. - Don't ask questions. 911 00:55:22,777 --> 00:55:25,974 God, you just tore up my fucking finger! I just got this fixed. Jesus! 912 00:55:26,137 --> 00:55:28,935 I bet there's a doctor in New York, clear that shit right up. 913 00:55:29,097 --> 00:55:30,610 Clear it right up. 914 00:55:35,257 --> 00:55:37,930 L.A. Don't want you no more, tough guy. 915 00:55:38,337 --> 00:55:39,929 All right? 916 00:55:41,457 --> 00:55:44,017 - How much further to the hospital? - Five minutes away. 917 00:55:44,177 --> 00:55:46,896 Talk to me. Our mascot, back in high school, who was it? 918 00:55:47,257 --> 00:55:49,213 Come on, Harry, stay with me. 919 00:55:50,857 --> 00:55:52,495 Whitey, the white knight. Whitey. 920 00:55:52,697 --> 00:55:54,813 I guess it's better than calling him "Knighty." 921 00:55:54,977 --> 00:55:58,492 Then it'd be Knighty Knight. Soon it'd be Toodles, and then Ta-Ta. 922 00:55:58,697 --> 00:56:02,133 - It's very emasculating. - Harry, that's them. Twelve o'clock. 923 00:56:02,697 --> 00:56:04,767 You said it's a black guy and a white guy? 924 00:56:04,977 --> 00:56:06,888 You're right. Get the plate, call the cops. 925 00:56:07,057 --> 00:56:09,969 - Let me find a pen. - No. Whatever. Watch the road. 926 00:56:10,177 --> 00:56:11,576 Are we slowing down? 927 00:56:11,737 --> 00:56:14,729 - No, I'm getting a pen. - Are you following them? Better not be. 928 00:56:14,937 --> 00:56:18,407 - Tell me you're not following them. - I'm taking you to the hospital. 929 00:56:18,577 --> 00:56:21,489 - Oh, shit. They're turning. - What? 930 00:56:21,697 --> 00:56:22,925 Holy shit. 931 00:56:24,297 --> 00:56:28,256 Perry's stakeout. It's a setup. They're going to MacArthur Park after Perry! 932 00:56:28,417 --> 00:56:31,295 Wait a second! My finger's hanging off. We gotta move on this. 933 00:56:31,497 --> 00:56:34,057 We're gonna go save Perry, really quickly. 934 00:56:34,257 --> 00:56:35,770 Then we'll go fix your finger. 935 00:56:35,977 --> 00:56:39,447 It'll be like, "Hey, Perry, look out." Boom, back in the car. All right? 936 00:56:39,657 --> 00:56:42,455 - Cool? - Yeah. This is exhausting. 937 00:56:43,417 --> 00:56:46,011 Bingo. All right. All right, Harry. 938 00:56:46,217 --> 00:56:49,175 Twelve o'clock, that's them. One of them is on foot. 939 00:56:53,057 --> 00:56:57,494 God, Harry. Shit, if I leave the keys, can you take yourself to the hospital? 940 00:56:57,697 --> 00:56:59,210 - Oh, yeah, sure. - All right, good. 941 00:56:59,377 --> 00:57:01,652 - I got the gun you gave me. - You what? 942 00:57:56,297 --> 00:57:57,889 Perry! 943 00:57:59,457 --> 00:58:01,015 Now, where you going? 944 00:58:04,537 --> 00:58:06,607 No, no, no. Don't fight it. 945 00:58:07,657 --> 00:58:09,727 Let it happen, baby. 946 00:58:42,177 --> 00:58:43,929 Perry! 947 00:58:49,977 --> 00:58:52,969 Perry, watch out! Goddamn it, turn around! 948 00:59:03,217 --> 00:59:05,014 Son of a bitch! 949 00:59:12,457 --> 00:59:15,688 How about that, you fucking animals! Goddamn cocksuckers. 950 00:59:37,777 --> 00:59:39,688 - Perry. - Where the hell did you come from? 951 00:59:39,857 --> 00:59:41,973 - He got away. - It's okay. You did good. 952 00:59:42,137 --> 00:59:45,732 - I couldn't shoot him, Perry. Oh, God. - You did fine. You did fine. 953 00:59:45,897 --> 00:59:47,455 We gotta go now. 954 01:00:03,017 --> 01:00:04,575 Hello? 955 01:00:15,257 --> 01:00:16,975 Anyone home? 956 01:00:23,777 --> 01:00:25,369 Hello? 957 01:00:26,737 --> 01:00:31,447 Anyone home? I got an injury problem. Hello. 958 01:00:31,777 --> 01:00:34,894 All right, first things first. You've gotta ditch that car. 959 01:00:35,457 --> 01:00:37,334 I know, I know. I've... 960 01:00:37,497 --> 01:00:41,570 I know you said that there was gonna be consequences, but fuck. 961 01:00:41,737 --> 01:00:43,648 I saw him shot to death. 962 01:00:43,817 --> 01:00:48,527 - I was scared. - Look, it's okay, yeah. 963 01:00:49,577 --> 01:00:53,092 We can absolutely talk about it, all right? 964 01:00:53,257 --> 01:00:55,532 Thank you. Thank you so much. 965 01:00:55,697 --> 01:00:58,257 It's nothing against your boss. I'm grateful. I just... 966 01:00:58,417 --> 01:00:59,691 I spoke to him. 967 01:00:59,857 --> 01:01:02,576 You'll never have to go through anything like that again. 968 01:01:02,737 --> 01:01:04,409 I swear. 969 01:01:04,777 --> 01:01:06,768 Promise? 970 01:01:06,937 --> 01:01:08,416 Yep. 971 01:01:18,057 --> 01:01:19,331 Who are you? 972 01:01:20,417 --> 01:01:22,567 Who are you? 973 01:01:24,337 --> 01:01:25,816 Who...? 974 01:02:07,657 --> 01:02:09,136 Well, hey. 975 01:02:12,177 --> 01:02:15,169 So you still here, huh, tough guy? 976 01:02:16,657 --> 01:02:18,249 Oh, you got a gun, I see. 977 01:02:19,857 --> 01:02:21,529 Well, damn, you are tough. 978 01:03:08,937 --> 01:03:10,689 Sorry. 979 01:03:23,712 --> 01:03:25,509 Fuck. 980 01:03:36,552 --> 01:03:38,463 Hey. Hey! 981 01:03:38,632 --> 01:03:39,667 Sit. 982 01:03:47,112 --> 01:03:49,023 - Yeah? What? - Where the hell are you? 983 01:03:49,232 --> 01:03:52,747 I'm with one of the kidnappers. One of them, anyhow. I shot him. He's dead. 984 01:03:52,912 --> 01:03:54,186 Come here, you fuck. 985 01:03:54,392 --> 01:03:56,383 Wipe the place clean and get out of there. 986 01:03:56,592 --> 01:03:58,025 I want to, but I can't. 987 01:03:58,232 --> 01:04:01,463 - So do it. - My fingerprint's here. The dog's got it. 988 01:04:01,632 --> 01:04:05,671 - No one's gonna dust the fucking dog. - He's got the finger, asshole... 989 01:04:05,832 --> 01:04:08,790 ...with the print part. - Get the finger, kill the dog, get out. 990 01:04:08,952 --> 01:04:10,908 Hang on. 991 01:04:11,072 --> 01:04:14,462 Shit. Well, I think... 992 01:04:14,672 --> 01:04:16,628 I think we're safe. 993 01:04:17,192 --> 01:04:18,545 Harry? 994 01:04:19,352 --> 01:04:22,662 - Harry? - Hey, Perry, I shot a guy. 995 01:04:23,112 --> 01:04:25,421 I never did that before. 996 01:04:26,792 --> 01:04:28,464 Harry, listen... 997 01:04:36,752 --> 01:04:39,585 - link to the items found in the Silver Lake home... 998 01:04:39,752 --> 01:04:42,220 ...to the kidnap-murder of socialite Veronica Dexter. 999 01:04:42,552 --> 01:04:44,941 Police theorize a falling out between the kidnappers... 1000 01:04:45,112 --> 01:04:48,184 ...resulting in at least two deaths, and possibly a third tonight. 1001 01:04:48,352 --> 01:04:51,389 So this evening, was it Jonny Gossamer enough for you? 1002 01:04:51,552 --> 01:04:54,988 To tell you the truth, Jonny Gossamer always has a way bigger ending. 1003 01:04:55,152 --> 01:04:57,541 There's always the part where the guy gets tortured. 1004 01:04:57,712 --> 01:05:01,466 Yeah, tortured, sure. Then he usually breaks free and shoots, like, 16 guys. 1005 01:05:01,672 --> 01:05:04,948 Yeah, 16 guys. It's always 16. That's funny. 1006 01:05:08,992 --> 01:05:13,065 So this thing, it's over, right? They say the kidnappers are all dead, so... 1007 01:05:13,232 --> 01:05:15,700 Well, Harry, I'd be lying to you if I didn't say... 1008 01:05:15,872 --> 01:05:18,306 ...that I still didn't have a few questions. 1009 01:05:18,472 --> 01:05:19,951 Harmony's sister. 1010 01:05:20,112 --> 01:05:23,229 If she stumbles on a murder plot, why hire me to film it? 1011 01:05:23,392 --> 01:05:26,304 - Why not simply go to the police? - Right. And I still think... 1012 01:05:26,472 --> 01:05:29,384 ...this Veronica Dexter father-daughter business is wanky. 1013 01:05:29,552 --> 01:05:32,430 So the whole reconcilement thing? 1014 01:05:32,592 --> 01:05:34,230 "Reconciliation," idiot. 1015 01:05:34,392 --> 01:05:38,465 She comes back to the States, drops the lawsuit, moves in with her father. 1016 01:05:38,632 --> 01:05:41,351 - Suddenly they're inseparable? - So, what are you saying? 1017 01:05:41,552 --> 01:05:43,668 We're gonna, like, probe deeper? 1018 01:05:43,872 --> 01:05:45,430 - Absolutely not. - What? 1019 01:05:45,592 --> 01:05:47,742 What are you talking about? My sister paid you. 1020 01:05:47,952 --> 01:05:50,022 - What, you're gonna bail? - Harmony... 1021 01:05:50,192 --> 01:05:52,342 ...do you want your sister's money back? Done. 1022 01:05:52,512 --> 01:05:54,901 In the meantime, back off. 1023 01:05:55,072 --> 01:05:56,869 Before you get me and Harry killed. 1024 01:06:10,512 --> 01:06:12,104 Pardon me. 1025 01:06:12,272 --> 01:06:14,342 Hey, I lucked out. They gave me the same room. 1026 01:06:14,512 --> 01:06:16,901 - Lucky you. - It's pretty good. You wanna come up? 1027 01:06:17,072 --> 01:06:19,825 No, I don't wanna come up. Why would I go up there? 1028 01:06:20,032 --> 01:06:22,785 - They cleaned it. - The car is coming. I'm going. Jesus. 1029 01:06:27,712 --> 01:06:29,191 You know what, Harry? Stop. 1030 01:06:30,432 --> 01:06:32,229 Why'd you lie to me? 1031 01:06:34,592 --> 01:06:37,902 It was an excuse to stay around you. So I think, in the realm of lies... 1032 01:06:38,112 --> 01:06:39,704 You are such a dumb-ass. 1033 01:06:41,312 --> 01:06:44,622 - I am so not who you think I am, Harry. - And who would that be? 1034 01:06:44,792 --> 01:06:47,352 You think I'm... You think I'm amazing. 1035 01:06:47,752 --> 01:06:49,947 You do. You think I'm so amazing... 1036 01:06:50,152 --> 01:06:52,108 ...because that's who I told you I'd be. 1037 01:06:52,272 --> 01:06:53,785 Yeah, that was the game plan. 1038 01:06:53,992 --> 01:06:56,552 - You know what? It worked. - No one else thinks so. 1039 01:06:56,752 --> 01:06:59,903 - My opinion doesn't count? - No, it doesn't. 1040 01:07:00,112 --> 01:07:01,431 Because you're new here. 1041 01:07:01,592 --> 01:07:03,469 Look around, there's younger and better. 1042 01:07:03,672 --> 01:07:05,947 I don't want younger and better, I want you. 1043 01:07:06,152 --> 01:07:08,222 I'm such a moron. I'm sorry. You know what... 1044 01:07:08,432 --> 01:07:11,310 - It doesn't matter, I'm going. Look, just... - I'm such an idiot. 1045 01:07:14,632 --> 01:07:17,271 I steal shit. 1046 01:07:19,792 --> 01:07:21,828 - Come again? - That's what I do for a living. 1047 01:07:21,992 --> 01:07:23,664 I steal audio-visual components. 1048 01:07:23,832 --> 01:07:27,029 I steal. I robbed a house. I stole this watch. 1049 01:07:27,192 --> 01:07:30,901 It's a cool watch. It's got this little light thing. I stole this gum... 1050 01:07:31,112 --> 01:07:34,468 ...from the lobby, because it was kind of a rush. 1051 01:07:34,672 --> 01:07:39,746 I've never finished anything that I've started my entire life. 1052 01:07:41,152 --> 01:07:43,871 Not school, not marriage, nothing. 1053 01:07:44,592 --> 01:07:47,823 And I have this thing where, like halfway in the middle, I just... 1054 01:07:47,992 --> 01:07:49,710 ...and I cut and run. 1055 01:07:49,912 --> 01:07:52,745 Like the other night when you were all over me... 1056 01:07:52,912 --> 01:07:54,982 ...and you gave up and just went for it with... 1057 01:07:55,152 --> 01:07:58,667 Prime example. I switched to the ugly friend. Homely friend. She's not ugly. 1058 01:07:58,872 --> 01:08:00,988 She's homely. 1059 01:08:02,432 --> 01:08:05,583 Don't go. Please. 1060 01:08:05,752 --> 01:08:07,390 Not yet. 1061 01:08:07,552 --> 01:08:09,110 This isn't finished. 1062 01:08:17,512 --> 01:08:18,831 - Turn around. - Why? 1063 01:08:18,992 --> 01:08:21,586 - Just turn around. - What, my tag's out? 1064 01:08:21,752 --> 01:08:25,062 - This dump have a bar? - Yeah. 1065 01:08:25,392 --> 01:08:28,190 - Call me "Slick" from here on out. - That was such a good job. 1066 01:08:28,392 --> 01:08:30,144 You snagged a ton of gum. 1067 01:08:30,312 --> 01:08:33,304 - I mean, petty theft... - Oh, Harry. 1068 01:08:33,472 --> 01:08:37,226 I really didn't need that last shot of tequila. 1069 01:08:37,392 --> 01:08:40,304 Oh, God. 1070 01:08:53,112 --> 01:08:55,387 I just had a weird thought. 1071 01:08:55,552 --> 01:08:59,067 Veronica Dexter. I saw the body up close. Hell, I carried the damn thing. 1072 01:08:59,232 --> 01:09:02,463 Both times, the dress was soaked through, so it was transparent. So... 1073 01:09:02,632 --> 01:09:05,100 God, Harry, where are you going with this? 1074 01:09:05,312 --> 01:09:07,223 No, no, no. It's just... 1075 01:09:07,872 --> 01:09:10,670 Perry said this chick was deep into the born-again bit... 1076 01:09:10,832 --> 01:09:15,826 ...so it's probably nothing, but just if she had on underwear... 1077 01:09:16,552 --> 01:09:19,624 ...I didn't see any. 1078 01:09:21,792 --> 01:09:25,068 - I guess I'm taking the couch. - Yeah. Thanks. 1079 01:09:25,232 --> 01:09:29,544 Or you can sleep here. But it would only be sleeping, Harry. 1080 01:09:31,472 --> 01:09:34,145 If that's gonna frustrate you. 1081 01:09:34,752 --> 01:09:36,549 Let's see. 1082 01:09:43,592 --> 01:09:45,901 Oh, Harry. 1083 01:09:47,472 --> 01:09:49,622 So long ago. 1084 01:09:51,872 --> 01:09:55,831 Didn't really turn out the way we hoped, did it? 1085 01:09:56,712 --> 01:10:02,469 I guess if I racked my brain, I could think of worse places to be. 1086 01:10:04,712 --> 01:10:08,387 - Is that so, Whitey? - Whitey? 1087 01:10:08,552 --> 01:10:10,622 - Calling me a knight? - Maybe, yeah. 1088 01:10:10,792 --> 01:10:13,704 Except for the boner. That's not too knightly. 1089 01:10:13,872 --> 01:10:16,909 The hell it isn't. Actually, it's nightly and most mornings. 1090 01:10:23,152 --> 01:10:24,983 Fuck it, I'm not a knight. I'm sorry. 1091 01:10:25,152 --> 01:10:27,541 I'm thinking... I'm going nuts, so I think maybe... 1092 01:10:27,712 --> 01:10:29,907 ...the couch is good. - What? Stop. Harry. 1093 01:10:30,072 --> 01:10:32,028 Or I can keep drinking until it goes away. 1094 01:10:32,192 --> 01:10:34,547 Harry, seriously, if you're at all uncomfortable... 1095 01:10:34,712 --> 01:10:36,907 ...I am more than happy to do something. 1096 01:10:37,112 --> 01:10:38,545 - For chrissake, no. - Why not? 1097 01:10:38,712 --> 01:10:41,704 I don't want you to offer it as... Not, "It's a courtesy freebie." 1098 01:10:41,912 --> 01:10:43,868 - You're so anal. - I don't want the backup: 1099 01:10:44,032 --> 01:10:46,830 "Let me just give you a hand here"... 1100 01:10:46,992 --> 01:10:52,191 ...as a kind of, like, default backup thing. 1101 01:11:11,872 --> 01:11:14,944 You're gonna stop calling me. 1102 01:11:15,112 --> 01:11:16,864 No. You know, that's crazy. 1103 01:11:17,032 --> 01:11:18,784 I swear to God, this is it. 1104 01:11:18,992 --> 01:11:21,426 You are the dream girl. You always have been. 1105 01:11:21,592 --> 01:11:23,981 This is destiny. 1106 01:11:24,432 --> 01:11:26,229 Okay. 1107 01:11:31,272 --> 01:11:34,025 Before we do this... 1108 01:11:34,192 --> 01:11:36,865 ...I have a little confession to make. 1109 01:11:37,712 --> 01:11:41,864 My best friend! You said you were going to drop by his house, wave goodbye. 1110 01:11:42,072 --> 01:11:44,427 I was leaving for L.A. I was never gonna see him... 1111 01:11:44,592 --> 01:11:46,184 - He looked sad. - He looked sad? 1112 01:11:46,352 --> 01:11:48,582 - Yes, he did. - You slept with Chook Chutney. 1113 01:11:48,792 --> 01:11:51,181 Fuck. For chrissake, Harry, it was forever ago. 1114 01:11:51,352 --> 01:11:53,422 Come on, I was a different person back then. 1115 01:11:53,632 --> 01:11:55,782 - You slept with Chook. Excuse me. - Come on. 1116 01:11:55,952 --> 01:11:57,829 - Watch your hand. - Harry! 1117 01:12:36,552 --> 01:12:40,147 - Yeah. - Harry, was she raped? 1118 01:12:41,392 --> 01:12:43,303 The Dexter girl, was she raped? 1119 01:12:44,272 --> 01:12:47,628 No, the ME's report showed no indication of rape stuff. 1120 01:12:47,792 --> 01:12:49,510 You slept with Chook Chutney. 1121 01:13:06,592 --> 01:13:10,346 Wake up. Harry, wake up. 1122 01:13:11,752 --> 01:13:13,982 - Get up. - What's up? 1123 01:13:14,152 --> 01:13:16,507 Harmony's in trouble. Get dressed. 1124 01:13:16,672 --> 01:13:18,230 Let's go. 1125 01:13:20,312 --> 01:13:23,463 Perry, it's me. Listen, this Veronica Dexter business stinks. 1126 01:13:23,632 --> 01:13:25,748 I'm gonna go check on something Harry said. 1127 01:13:25,912 --> 01:13:27,868 Call me. If I'm right, you'll shit. 1128 01:13:28,472 --> 01:13:30,110 - What did you say to her? - Nothing. 1129 01:13:30,312 --> 01:13:33,224 - I don't get what's happening. - She solved this thing. 1130 01:13:33,392 --> 01:13:37,670 That sly little minx of yours has solved this case, and now I can't find her. 1131 01:13:37,832 --> 01:13:39,788 - You're worried. - You're not worried? 1132 01:13:39,952 --> 01:13:41,590 Of course. If you are, I should be. 1133 01:13:41,792 --> 01:13:43,510 Now, what did you say? Think. 1134 01:13:43,712 --> 01:13:46,510 - You said something about the case. - Yeah. Yeah. 1135 01:13:46,712 --> 01:13:48,304 What? 1136 01:13:53,992 --> 01:13:56,222 I tell him about destiny. He's shaking his head. 1137 01:13:56,392 --> 01:14:00,180 About dream girls, he doesn 't care. I mention the underwear thing... 1138 01:14:00,352 --> 01:14:01,910 ...he has a fucking conniption. 1139 01:14:02,072 --> 01:14:04,028 And you? How about it, filmgoer? 1140 01:14:05,872 --> 01:14:08,466 Have you solved the case of the dead people in L.A.? 1141 01:14:08,632 --> 01:14:11,100 Times Square audiences, don 't shout at the screen. 1142 01:14:11,272 --> 01:14:13,866 And stop picking at that, it'll just get worse. 1143 01:14:16,312 --> 01:14:19,145 - This won't take a second. - Right. 1144 01:14:31,472 --> 01:14:34,066 Hi. How are you doing tonight? 1145 01:14:34,232 --> 01:14:36,109 They gave away my crickets. 1146 01:14:40,072 --> 01:14:44,031 Excuse me, you wouldn't, by chance, happen to have seen this woman? 1147 01:14:44,192 --> 01:14:47,901 No. I don't like him. Kurt Cobain, he took my cricket. 1148 01:14:48,072 --> 01:14:49,425 Of course. That's sad. 1149 01:14:49,592 --> 01:14:52,789 Ma'am, I hope you won't be offended when I ask you... 1150 01:14:52,952 --> 01:14:56,262 ...if you're wearing anything at all underneath your hospital blues. 1151 01:14:56,432 --> 01:14:59,947 Any undergarments. It's important. 1152 01:15:12,352 --> 01:15:14,786 That's the clue. Veronica Dexter was a patient here. 1153 01:15:14,952 --> 01:15:18,308 Private mental clinic, where even nice girls don't wear undies. 1154 01:15:18,512 --> 01:15:21,504 How could she be here and meanwhile, she's out having parties? 1155 01:15:21,672 --> 01:15:25,665 Think. First she hates her dad, then loves him. Has a lawsuit, withdraws it. Why? 1156 01:15:25,872 --> 01:15:28,067 - I'll tell you why. - Oh, my God. 1157 01:15:31,752 --> 01:15:34,107 Oh, my God. So it's two different girls, right? 1158 01:15:34,272 --> 01:15:37,662 He stashed his daughter in here, and then he put the ringer on the street. 1159 01:15:37,872 --> 01:15:40,864 He needs someone who looks like her to withdraw the complaint. 1160 01:15:41,352 --> 01:15:43,070 - It's been 10 years. - This is nuts. 1161 01:15:43,272 --> 01:15:45,547 - It's right out of a Gossamer book. - Of course... 1162 01:15:45,712 --> 01:15:48,465 ...because the guy who planned the crimes has all the books. 1163 01:15:48,632 --> 01:15:52,989 He's read them all. They're in his house. Plus, he was in that piece of shit... 1164 01:15:53,152 --> 01:15:54,824 ...movie. 1165 01:15:55,752 --> 01:15:57,583 You're telling me the girl imposter... 1166 01:15:57,792 --> 01:15:59,862 A desperate man needs a replacement daughter. 1167 01:16:00,032 --> 01:16:01,988 Along comes a girl, Harmony's sister. 1168 01:16:02,192 --> 01:16:05,741 - Fresh off the bus, looking for her dad. - I'd say I found my imposter. 1169 01:16:05,912 --> 01:16:07,982 Let's get out of here. 1170 01:16:09,832 --> 01:16:12,710 - So where did she go from here? - Shut up, I'm thinking. 1171 01:16:12,912 --> 01:16:14,311 By the way, this thing: 1172 01:16:14,472 --> 01:16:16,383 Single gayest thing you've ever done. 1173 01:16:16,592 --> 01:16:19,390 - Evening, gentlemen. - Hi, we are so incredibly lost. 1174 01:16:19,552 --> 01:16:21,144 Mr. Van Shrike, hello. 1175 01:16:21,352 --> 01:16:23,582 You look chilly. Come back inside. 1176 01:16:23,792 --> 01:16:26,181 I'm from back East. I'm kind of digging the cold. 1177 01:16:26,392 --> 01:16:30,021 - Fuck! He's the one who said it. - Or I can kill you here. 1178 01:16:33,672 --> 01:16:37,028 Harry, I was thinking some more about this reality versus fiction. 1179 01:16:37,192 --> 01:16:41,868 Like in the movies, when a guy sticks a gun at some schmuck's back and says: 1180 01:16:42,072 --> 01:16:45,064 - "Let's take a walk." He's got a hostage. - I've seen that movie. 1181 01:16:45,232 --> 01:16:48,588 In reality, the pros like about five feet of separation. 1182 01:16:48,752 --> 01:16:52,461 That's so the schmuck doesn't take the gun back and make him eat it. 1183 01:16:55,272 --> 01:16:57,661 Doesn't that suck? I just hit you for no reason. 1184 01:16:57,872 --> 01:16:59,988 Watch it. 1185 01:17:04,992 --> 01:17:07,552 - Tell us where Harmony is. - Fuck you, mary. 1186 01:17:07,712 --> 01:17:10,670 You don't get it, do you? This isn't "good cop, bad cop." 1187 01:17:10,872 --> 01:17:14,387 This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble. 1188 01:17:14,552 --> 01:17:18,909 For chrissake, who are you protecting? It's all over. Dexter is going down. 1189 01:17:19,112 --> 01:17:21,262 - Down. - I know about Veronica's lawsuit. 1190 01:17:21,472 --> 01:17:24,589 I know Dexter was facing ruin. I even know he switched daughters. 1191 01:17:24,752 --> 01:17:27,949 Which, for God's sake, actually did work for a while, till last week. 1192 01:17:28,152 --> 01:17:30,620 - Then he had to kill her, huh? - Put a sock in it. 1193 01:17:30,792 --> 01:17:33,022 - I'm asking a question. - Lf you ask questions... 1194 01:17:33,192 --> 01:17:35,752 ...then it seems like we don't know anything. Okay? 1195 01:17:35,912 --> 01:17:38,710 And for the record, it was the boyfriend, the guy from Paris. 1196 01:17:38,912 --> 01:17:42,382 He would've spotted the fake and said, "That's not Veronica." Am I right? 1197 01:17:42,552 --> 01:17:44,588 - Fuck you! - Exactly. 1198 01:17:44,752 --> 01:17:47,266 So Dexter had Veronica killed, threw a dress on her... 1199 01:17:47,472 --> 01:17:50,782 ...dumped the body and walked away clean, except for one little thing. 1200 01:17:50,992 --> 01:17:54,029 - Underpants. - One tiny little pair of undies. 1201 01:17:54,232 --> 01:17:55,631 Yeah. 1202 01:17:56,512 --> 01:17:59,663 You think that's funny, huh? I'm gonna break your nose now. 1203 01:18:00,152 --> 01:18:03,667 I want you to picture a bullet inside your head. Can you do that for me? 1204 01:18:03,832 --> 01:18:05,629 Fuck you. 1205 01:18:05,792 --> 01:18:08,431 - Anyway, that's ambiguous. - Ambiguous? I don't think so. 1206 01:18:08,592 --> 01:18:11,106 He means when you say, "Picture it inside your head"... 1207 01:18:11,272 --> 01:18:13,502 ...is that "a bullet will be inside your head"... 1208 01:18:13,672 --> 01:18:16,391 ...or "picture it in your head"? - Harry, will you shut up. 1209 01:18:16,552 --> 01:18:19,589 I don't know anything about a girl, seriously. I was bluffing. 1210 01:18:19,752 --> 01:18:23,825 - I think that you are bluffing right now. - Harry, what are you doing? 1211 01:18:23,992 --> 01:18:26,187 What I'm doing for the guy who likes to bluff... 1212 01:18:26,392 --> 01:18:31,546 ...is I'm playing a little game called "Am I Bluffing?" Where is she? 1213 01:18:31,752 --> 01:18:34,266 Where the fuck is Harmony? You want to play hardball? 1214 01:18:34,472 --> 01:18:37,111 Where is the girl? 1215 01:18:37,592 --> 01:18:39,105 What did you just do? 1216 01:18:39,312 --> 01:18:42,622 - I just put in one bullet, didn't I? - You put a live round in that gun? 1217 01:18:42,792 --> 01:18:45,465 Yeah, there was like an 8 percent chance. 1218 01:18:45,632 --> 01:18:49,068 - Eight? Who taught you math? - Maybe it was more. I don't know... 1219 01:18:49,672 --> 01:18:51,344 Shit! 1220 01:18:51,992 --> 01:18:53,869 - Hello? - Perry, is that you? 1221 01:18:54,032 --> 01:18:55,943 - Hey, it's me. - Hi, Harmony. 1222 01:18:56,152 --> 01:18:57,824 - What's going on? - Where are you? 1223 01:18:57,992 --> 01:18:59,425 - At home. - You're at home? 1224 01:18:59,592 --> 01:19:02,504 I just got back. I was in the Hills all day. Shitty reception. 1225 01:19:02,672 --> 01:19:05,823 - You don't sound so good. - Why aren't you following your lead? 1226 01:19:06,032 --> 01:19:07,943 Oh, forget it. It's just crazy. 1227 01:19:08,152 --> 01:19:09,949 No, it's not crazy. Listen... 1228 01:19:10,152 --> 01:19:13,383 - It's right out of a Gossamer book. - Don't talk. Listen. 1229 01:19:13,592 --> 01:19:15,662 - Eight percent. - And you, stop multiplying. 1230 01:19:15,832 --> 01:19:18,426 No, not you. Listen, call downtown... 1231 01:19:18,592 --> 01:19:21,265 ...see if Veronica Dexter's body has gone to the mortuary. 1232 01:19:21,432 --> 01:19:23,707 If it has, see if there's a cremation scheduled. 1233 01:19:23,872 --> 01:19:26,864 - Wait, Perry. - Call me back right away. 1234 01:19:29,392 --> 01:19:32,031 Look, he was gonna kill you anyway. He said so. 1235 01:19:35,752 --> 01:19:37,504 Cover him up. I'll get the car. 1236 01:19:40,032 --> 01:19:42,910 - All right, that's pretty much all done. - Harry... 1237 01:19:43,072 --> 01:19:47,987 I got an idea. I say we take the son of a bitch Dexter down. 1238 01:19:49,432 --> 01:19:53,266 To the racetrack and buy the son of a gun a drink. 1239 01:19:53,432 --> 01:19:57,903 What do you say, Perry? Oh, fuck, no fair. No fucking fair. 1240 01:19:58,072 --> 01:20:01,189 Aurelio, give Mr. Van Shrike a little pat down. 1241 01:20:08,872 --> 01:20:11,306 Fucking maric�n. 1242 01:20:14,592 --> 01:20:16,947 Toss it here. Let's see who it is. 1243 01:20:19,072 --> 01:20:20,664 We're in trouble. Dexter's got us. 1244 01:20:25,152 --> 01:20:27,541 He just asked a carpet-cleaning service to save him. 1245 01:20:28,112 --> 01:20:30,467 Sorry, kid. Good hands, though. 1246 01:20:30,672 --> 01:20:33,584 Thanks. Used to be a magician. 1247 01:20:34,112 --> 01:20:38,503 And for 39.99 we'll carpet up to three rooms in half the time. 1248 01:20:38,672 --> 01:20:41,982 That's a $40 value. Act today. 1249 01:20:44,992 --> 01:20:47,984 That chick in the casket, she won't even match up with that... 1250 01:20:48,152 --> 01:20:51,064 ...ringer you been toting around. You ever think about that? 1251 01:20:51,232 --> 01:20:53,746 He did, Harry. That's why he's cremating the body. 1252 01:20:55,232 --> 01:20:56,790 Yeah, you ready? 1253 01:20:58,432 --> 01:21:01,310 Speak of the devil. Gotta go. 1254 01:21:01,472 --> 01:21:04,908 Perry, nice to have known you. 1255 01:21:05,552 --> 01:21:07,110 - Harry. - Harry. Yes, of course. 1256 01:21:07,272 --> 01:21:08,591 Harry from New York. 1257 01:21:08,792 --> 01:21:12,751 I hope you don't judge Los Angeles based solely on your experience tonight. 1258 01:21:20,192 --> 01:21:22,752 I'm kind of scared here, Perry. 1259 01:21:22,912 --> 01:21:25,187 Aurelio, why don't you give the kid a break? 1260 01:21:25,352 --> 01:21:27,786 Do unto others and all that. It's Christmas. 1261 01:21:27,952 --> 01:21:30,022 - Who else knows? - I don't know anything. 1262 01:21:30,232 --> 01:21:32,382 I'm not even from here, you fuck-up. 1263 01:21:44,592 --> 01:21:46,548 Mr. Dexter, the coffin's good to go. 1264 01:21:46,712 --> 01:21:49,306 Okay, let's burn the bitch. 1265 01:21:52,112 --> 01:21:54,103 You could zap his chest. It'd be easier. 1266 01:21:54,312 --> 01:21:56,223 But we know why you gotta do it down there. 1267 01:21:56,392 --> 01:21:58,508 You like looking at his johnson, don't you? 1268 01:21:58,672 --> 01:22:00,390 Admit it, dude, you got it in you. 1269 01:22:03,592 --> 01:22:07,904 Enough! Look me in the eyes and tell me you've never been with a man. 1270 01:22:08,112 --> 01:22:11,184 - Fuck you, maric�n! Fuck you! - That's what you want, isn't it? 1271 01:22:11,392 --> 01:22:14,384 - You want to fuck me. - Stop helping. Stop helping. 1272 01:22:14,592 --> 01:22:17,186 - Lf you are not gay, just say so. - Fuck you, maric�n! 1273 01:22:18,272 --> 01:22:21,105 - Look at him. He can't even say it. - Stop helping! 1274 01:22:21,312 --> 01:22:23,780 - Can't wait to have you as a patient. - Bet you can't. 1275 01:22:23,992 --> 01:22:25,823 - This is what you want. Here. - Shut up! 1276 01:22:26,032 --> 01:22:28,910 Take a look. You want some of this right here? Look at this. 1277 01:22:29,112 --> 01:22:30,261 Just shut up! 1278 01:22:33,952 --> 01:22:35,465 Yeah! 1279 01:22:37,992 --> 01:22:40,381 Homophobes never check there. 1280 01:22:42,072 --> 01:22:45,303 Thank God you had a gun in there. I thought it was a gay thing... 1281 01:22:45,512 --> 01:22:48,151 ...like somehow you guys could do that. Sorry. 1282 01:22:48,312 --> 01:22:51,224 - Are you okay? - Not really, no. 1283 01:22:51,592 --> 01:22:54,106 Gentlemen, let's wrap it up and get out of here. 1284 01:22:56,312 --> 01:22:59,429 - Who's driving? - I tell you what, I'll flip you for it. 1285 01:22:59,592 --> 01:23:01,344 All right. 1286 01:23:05,752 --> 01:23:07,583 - This way, come on. - Shit! 1287 01:23:13,472 --> 01:23:15,781 - Yeah. - Hey, Harmony, it's me. 1288 01:23:15,952 --> 01:23:17,863 Oh, God, how did you get away? 1289 01:23:18,072 --> 01:23:20,632 I shot him with a small revolver I keep near my balls. 1290 01:23:20,832 --> 01:23:24,461 I can't get to my car. We're near Olive and the freeway. Can you pick us up? 1291 01:23:24,632 --> 01:23:27,351 I'm in a van with the body. I'll be there in 30 seconds. 1292 01:23:27,552 --> 01:23:30,146 All right, be where I can see you. Be ready to move. 1293 01:23:31,432 --> 01:23:35,061 Shit, they're on my tail. I gotta go. 1294 01:23:45,552 --> 01:23:48,988 Right there. She's right there! Shit. 1295 01:23:56,192 --> 01:23:57,784 Harmony! 1296 01:24:14,352 --> 01:24:16,388 Harmony! 1297 01:24:31,392 --> 01:24:33,189 - Harmony! - Harry, don't! 1298 01:25:00,712 --> 01:25:04,421 Come on, we gotta go. They're coming back around. Harmony's down there. 1299 01:25:06,712 --> 01:25:10,022 Perry, what's wrong? 1300 01:25:11,472 --> 01:25:13,349 Come on, breathe. 1301 01:25:27,632 --> 01:25:29,509 Harry. 1302 01:25:35,232 --> 01:25:36,870 Harold. 1303 01:26:00,272 --> 01:26:02,024 Harold... 1304 01:26:02,352 --> 01:26:05,549 ...use your awesome might. 1305 01:26:05,752 --> 01:26:09,108 Save me from this hopeless plight. 1306 01:26:10,512 --> 01:26:13,026 Harold... 1307 01:27:01,432 --> 01:27:02,911 Harmony! 1308 01:27:14,952 --> 01:27:18,422 Captain Fucking Magic. 1309 01:27:24,032 --> 01:27:25,385 Come on! 1310 01:27:37,152 --> 01:27:38,505 No. 1311 01:27:46,112 --> 01:27:48,990 There, all done. 1312 01:27:50,352 --> 01:27:52,104 Finished. 1313 01:28:01,152 --> 01:28:02,665 Harry. 1314 01:28:05,032 --> 01:28:08,388 - Did you call me? - Harry, you're shot. 1315 01:28:08,552 --> 01:28:10,861 No, no. Look, you want to see something cool? 1316 01:28:13,432 --> 01:28:16,981 Cool! This stopped the bullet, Harry. 1317 01:28:23,992 --> 01:28:26,108 No, not really. 1318 01:28:26,872 --> 01:28:28,351 Oh, Harry. 1319 01:28:28,552 --> 01:28:31,066 Oh, God, Harry. 1320 01:28:33,872 --> 01:28:35,430 Harry. 1321 01:28:44,672 --> 01:28:48,984 - Hi. Welcome back. - Yeah. 1322 01:28:50,832 --> 01:28:54,222 - How many fingers? - Put that cat down, because I'm allergic. 1323 01:28:55,832 --> 01:28:58,471 You feeling okay? How's your...? 1324 01:28:58,632 --> 01:29:00,862 - My what? - Well, your... 1325 01:29:01,072 --> 01:29:04,428 - Everything down there. - I can't believe he told you that. 1326 01:29:06,832 --> 01:29:08,868 It's Christmas, where's my present, Slick? 1327 01:29:09,072 --> 01:29:11,188 Your present is you're not in jail, fag-hag. 1328 01:29:11,392 --> 01:29:14,031 Yeah, boo, hiss, I know. Look, I hate it too. 1329 01:29:14,192 --> 01:29:17,468 In movies where the studio gets all paranoid about a downer ending... 1330 01:29:17,632 --> 01:29:21,341 ...so the guy shows up, he's magically alive on crutches, I hate that. 1331 01:29:21,512 --> 01:29:24,504 I mean, shit, why not bring them all back. 1332 01:29:25,432 --> 01:29:29,266 But the point is, in this case, this time, it really happened. 1333 01:29:29,432 --> 01:29:31,900 Perry, like, lived. Yeah, it's a dumb movie thing... 1334 01:29:32,072 --> 01:29:34,586 ...but what do you want me to do, lie about it? 1335 01:29:34,752 --> 01:29:36,470 So you found something out? 1336 01:29:36,632 --> 01:29:39,624 Yeah. But you're not gonna like it. 1337 01:29:41,152 --> 01:29:43,108 Dexter didn't murder your sister. 1338 01:29:43,912 --> 01:29:47,746 That's crazy. He was using my sister to impersonate his daughter, Perry. 1339 01:29:47,912 --> 01:29:50,506 Never happened. I talked to my police guy. 1340 01:29:51,832 --> 01:29:57,782 The ringer was a girl named Mia Frye, 23-year-old from Glendale. 1341 01:29:57,992 --> 01:30:00,301 When she wasn't impersonating Veronica Dexter... 1342 01:30:00,472 --> 01:30:02,588 ...she wore a pink wig. 1343 01:30:04,552 --> 01:30:08,784 But my sister sent you up to Big Bear Lake, to his cabin. 1344 01:30:10,232 --> 01:30:14,020 Your sister was convinced that Dexter was her natural father... 1345 01:30:14,232 --> 01:30:16,621 ...so she started following him, hanging around. 1346 01:30:16,832 --> 01:30:19,221 Do you see where I'm going with this? 1347 01:30:19,632 --> 01:30:22,465 One day your sister came calling, and she saw Dexter... 1348 01:30:22,632 --> 01:30:24,463 ...in bed with the pink-haired girl. 1349 01:30:24,672 --> 01:30:27,232 What she thought was father and daughter. 1350 01:30:27,392 --> 01:30:29,542 Remember, that's how it would appear. 1351 01:30:29,712 --> 01:30:31,065 It was too much for her. 1352 01:30:31,232 --> 01:30:35,464 First the old father, now the shiny new one. 1353 01:30:35,672 --> 01:30:40,427 She couldn't handle it, and she took her own life. 1354 01:30:41,032 --> 01:30:44,911 What she hired me to film wasn't murder, but incest. 1355 01:30:47,232 --> 01:30:49,223 I'm sorry. 1356 01:30:49,392 --> 01:30:51,303 So much for unreality. 1357 01:30:51,472 --> 01:30:52,871 I said goodbye... 1358 01:30:53,272 --> 01:30:56,708 ...watched Jonny's world go back on the fiction shelf. 1359 01:30:56,872 --> 01:30:59,340 But while it lasted, brother... 1360 01:31:00,152 --> 01:31:02,108 ...it was one for the books. 1361 01:31:03,352 --> 01:31:05,786 You should've told me you were arrested five times. 1362 01:31:06,472 --> 01:31:07,951 I should be pissed. 1363 01:31:08,112 --> 01:31:11,627 You should have told me that when you go home, you put on lady's underpants. 1364 01:31:11,792 --> 01:31:13,783 - That's cross-dressing, imbecile. - Whatever. 1365 01:31:13,952 --> 01:31:17,501 Half those guys are straight. Perfect fathers, love their kids. 1366 01:31:17,672 --> 01:31:19,628 How about you? Did your father love you? 1367 01:31:19,792 --> 01:31:23,626 Sometimes. You know, when I dressed up like a bottle. How about yours? 1368 01:31:23,792 --> 01:31:26,670 Well, he used to beat me in Morse code, so it's possible... 1369 01:31:26,872 --> 01:31:29,147 ...but he never actually said the words. 1370 01:31:29,312 --> 01:31:31,507 - Harry. - What? 1371 01:31:31,672 --> 01:31:33,902 Don't steal any more shit. 1372 01:31:34,832 --> 01:31:36,743 You're not a punk. 1373 01:31:40,312 --> 01:31:41,506 You bet I'll turn around. 1374 01:31:41,832 --> 01:31:43,060 You like that, huh? 1375 01:31:43,232 --> 01:31:46,508 I saw him in the commissary twice. What is he, like 6'4"? 1376 01:31:46,672 --> 01:31:49,664 He doesn't know he's gay. Look how he walks. 1377 01:31:49,832 --> 01:31:51,390 So that's pretty much that. 1378 01:31:51,552 --> 01:31:54,385 We went back to Indiana, the three of us, for Jenna 's funeral. 1379 01:31:55,992 --> 01:31:58,108 Don 't worry, I saw the last Lord of the Rings. 1380 01:31:58,272 --> 01:31:59,944 I won 't have the movie end 17 times. 1381 01:32:00,112 --> 01:32:02,865 There is, though, one final scene for your viewing pleasure. 1382 01:32:12,152 --> 01:32:14,108 Do I know you? 1383 01:32:18,032 --> 01:32:20,500 No. Just in town for the funeral. 1384 01:32:20,952 --> 01:32:22,226 What do you want? 1385 01:32:22,432 --> 01:32:26,391 The zoo was closed, so I thought I'd come here and look at an animal. 1386 01:32:26,592 --> 01:32:28,025 Son of a... 1387 01:32:28,192 --> 01:32:30,911 Who do you think you're talking to? 1388 01:32:31,072 --> 01:32:33,267 I buried my daughter today. 1389 01:32:33,472 --> 01:32:35,508 No. 1390 01:32:35,872 --> 01:32:38,625 You buried her 20 years ago. 1391 01:32:38,832 --> 01:32:42,711 Harmony was right, her sister was murdered. 1392 01:32:42,872 --> 01:32:46,660 You pulled the trigger. It just took this long for the bullet to hit. 1393 01:32:47,512 --> 01:32:49,628 Who are you? 1394 01:32:50,672 --> 01:32:52,469 I loved my girl. 1395 01:32:53,352 --> 01:32:56,662 You fucker! If I could get out of this bed... 1396 01:32:56,832 --> 01:33:00,108 Yeah? Well, you can't. 1397 01:33:00,992 --> 01:33:03,222 You bastard! 1398 01:33:06,592 --> 01:33:08,981 An old man that can't defend himself. 1399 01:33:09,192 --> 01:33:10,944 Big tough guy. 1400 01:33:11,112 --> 01:33:12,386 Yeah, that's right. 1401 01:33:13,952 --> 01:33:16,102 Big tough guy. 1402 01:33:29,272 --> 01:33:34,221 I prefer Genaros, but what do I know? I'm a bear. I suck the heads off fish. 1403 01:33:42,272 --> 01:33:45,901 That's it. That's the true story of what happened last Christmas. 1404 01:33:46,072 --> 01:33:49,587 That was some pretty harsh shit with the old guy back there, right? 1405 01:33:49,752 --> 01:33:52,585 But whatever, he's creepy. Fuck him. Don't worry about him. 1406 01:33:52,752 --> 01:33:54,822 Anyhow, so... 1407 01:33:54,992 --> 01:33:56,630 Thanks for coming. 1408 01:33:56,792 --> 01:34:00,182 Thanks for taking the trip to L.A. With me. 1409 01:34:01,232 --> 01:34:03,063 If I had to sum it up, and I do... 1410 01:34:03,232 --> 01:34:05,541 Because, you know, it's, like, the end. 1411 01:34:05,712 --> 01:34:10,024 - I would say that this movie is about... It's about friendship. 1412 01:34:10,192 --> 01:34:12,308 - Friendship is sacred. - What are you doing? 1413 01:34:12,472 --> 01:34:14,110 I'm trying to wrap up the movie... 1414 01:34:14,272 --> 01:34:16,467 ...and leave the people with a message. 1415 01:34:17,312 --> 01:34:20,270 I've got a message for you. Get your feet off my fucking desk. 1416 01:34:20,432 --> 01:34:22,423 Sorry. I work for Perry now. 1417 01:34:22,592 --> 01:34:24,230 - And stop narrating. - Obviously. 1418 01:34:24,392 --> 01:34:26,667 That's it. Please stay for the end credits. 1419 01:34:26,832 --> 01:34:30,063 If you're wondering who the best boy is, it's someone's nephew. 1420 01:34:30,232 --> 01:34:32,029 Don't forget to validate your parking. 1421 01:34:32,192 --> 01:34:34,308 For all of you good people in the Midwest... 1422 01:34:34,472 --> 01:34:35,985 ...sorry we said "fuck" so much. 1423 01:34:36,152 --> 01:34:37,870 - Say good night. - Thanks again. 1424 01:34:38,032 --> 01:34:39,784 Now, go. Vanish. 1425 01:38:35,752 --> 01:38:37,743 Adapted by: SDI Media Group 1426 01:38:37,912 --> 01:38:39,903 [ENGLISH]