1 00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:16,389 Hart, can you get me Miss Arizona's number? 2 00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:19,552 - Why would I do that, Clonsky? - Because she needs a man in her life. 3 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:21,762 Yeah? Where do you fit in? 4 00:01:21,930 --> 00:01:25,445 - Nice. Nice talk. Not too congenial, Hart. - Yeah. 5 00:01:25,613 --> 00:01:28,070 It says right here you're supposed to be real amiable. 6 00:01:28,239 --> 00:01:30,827 That's three weeks ago. I've been amiable since then... 7 00:01:30,993 --> 00:01:32,718 ...and now I just wanna hit somebody. 8 00:01:32,883 --> 00:01:34,575 Well, this could be your chance, Hart. 9 00:01:34,740 --> 00:01:37,230 Okay, let's go over this one more time. The Housewives... 10 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:40,499 ...they knocked off nine banks in a month and wounded two guards. 11 00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:44,825 We got a tip this bank is their next target. So stay frosty. Keep your heads up. 12 00:01:46,333 --> 00:01:49,500 You know you can't wear a swimsuit on this mission, right, Hart? 13 00:01:49,791 --> 00:01:50,970 That's good. 14 00:01:51,585 --> 00:01:54,402 - What happened to world peace? - It comes and goes. 15 00:02:09,615 --> 00:02:11,919 Control to Big Mama. 16 00:02:12,082 --> 00:02:13,905 Check your baby. 17 00:02:15,284 --> 00:02:17,227 Hey, honey. 18 00:02:18,455 --> 00:02:23,063 - Control, this is Big Mama. Confirm. - Confirm, Big Mama. Proceed on in. 19 00:02:25,756 --> 00:02:28,693 - Big Daddy and Big Mama are inside. - Copy that. 20 00:02:30,047 --> 00:02:32,635 I hope we wrap this early. I have Yankee tickets tonight. 21 00:02:34,146 --> 00:02:35,838 What are you up to? 22 00:02:36,004 --> 00:02:39,269 Just basic paperwork, and then I got company coming over for dinner... 23 00:02:39,431 --> 00:02:42,150 ...so I just need to do a little... A little defrosting. 24 00:02:42,313 --> 00:02:46,473 - Oh, your boyfriend Eric's coming over? - He's not my boyfriend. Just... 25 00:02:46,636 --> 00:02:51,179 We're just friends, you know? Friends and coworkers. Friendly coworkers. 26 00:02:51,344 --> 00:02:54,445 Hey, you ever been to the Poconos? 27 00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:58,993 Where is that? What is that, New York? Pennsylvania? 28 00:02:59,286 --> 00:03:01,492 You think it'd be hard to get a reservation there? 29 00:03:01,656 --> 00:03:03,894 What, for you and your coworker? 30 00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:07,541 - That's so sweet, two agents in love. - Yeah. 31 00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:10,941 So I guess this is a good time to tell you that this is not your baby. 32 00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,290 Housewives, front door. Housewives. 33 00:03:23,561 --> 00:03:25,089 How old? 34 00:03:25,291 --> 00:03:27,431 - Thirty-five. - No, the baby. Can I take a peek? 35 00:03:27,596 --> 00:03:30,500 No, get lost, lady. We haven't changed his diaper in a week. 36 00:03:31,151 --> 00:03:34,667 You're that Miss Congeniality lady. 37 00:03:35,186 --> 00:03:37,806 No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. 38 00:03:37,972 --> 00:03:40,363 I saw you on TV on the Miss United States pageant. 39 00:03:40,534 --> 00:03:42,226 No, ma'am. Ma'am, you did not. 40 00:03:42,392 --> 00:03:44,663 - You're Gracie Hart! - Ma'am, no. Ma'am, please... 41 00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,037 - Gracie Hart? - Gracie Hart? 42 00:03:46,203 --> 00:03:48,277 - Gracie Hart! - No, I'm not! I'm not! I'm not! 43 00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:49,689 - She's FBI! - I'm not! 44 00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:52,922 - It's a setup! - Okay, nobody move! Nobody move! 45 00:03:53,088 --> 00:03:54,977 Nobody's moving. Ma'am, please be... 46 00:03:55,138 --> 00:03:57,212 Please be quiet! Get down! Nobody's moving. 47 00:03:57,379 --> 00:03:59,967 - Get down, please! Please, get down! - Down, I said. Down! 48 00:04:00,134 --> 00:04:02,722 Nobody's moving. It's okay. Ma'am, get down! Get down! 49 00:04:02,888 --> 00:04:06,687 We've got a hostage situation. We need backup. Now! 50 00:04:07,660 --> 00:04:09,833 - We gotta move, ladies! - Okay. Okay, it's okay. 51 00:04:09,998 --> 00:04:11,657 Get your hand out of the purse, Hart. 52 00:04:12,559 --> 00:04:15,758 You too, hubby, get your hands up where I can see them. 53 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,929 Tell me where every other agent is in this bank. 54 00:04:24,216 --> 00:04:25,395 Now. 55 00:04:27,675 --> 00:04:29,432 Now! 56 00:04:29,597 --> 00:04:31,900 There's one in the baby carriage. 57 00:04:37,122 --> 00:04:39,874 - Freeze, FBI! - FBI, freeze! 58 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,196 Put the gun down! Put the guns down! 59 00:04:53,551 --> 00:04:55,560 - Take her. Take... - Got her. 60 00:04:56,049 --> 00:04:58,353 Clonsky, where are you hit? Where are you hit? 61 00:04:58,515 --> 00:05:00,109 - In the vest. I'm... - Where? 62 00:05:00,276 --> 00:05:01,968 I'm all right. I'm all right. 63 00:05:02,134 --> 00:05:03,696 - Oh, my God. - It hurt like a mother. 64 00:05:03,863 --> 00:05:05,391 I know. 65 00:05:09,788 --> 00:05:13,686 But I got something that's gonna make you feel a lot better. 66 00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:18,780 Here we go, 602-555-0199. 67 00:05:18,947 --> 00:05:20,672 What's that? 68 00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:22,724 Miss Arizona's number. 69 00:05:23,015 --> 00:05:26,400 - You couldn't tell me earlier? - No. 70 00:05:26,569 --> 00:05:28,425 - What do we got? - I'm okay. 71 00:05:28,586 --> 00:05:30,890 Excuse me. 72 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:33,192 Would you mind? 73 00:05:43,735 --> 00:05:46,006 Hart! Hart! 74 00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:50,482 - Sorry, sir. - Let's not make a bad day worse. 75 00:05:50,748 --> 00:05:52,440 Sir... 76 00:05:52,605 --> 00:05:55,957 ...about the bank, I don't know what happened. 77 00:05:56,128 --> 00:05:59,393 It was like my high school reunion, except these people liked me. 78 00:05:59,555 --> 00:06:02,339 Well, I think we can all agree it didn't go according to plan. 79 00:06:02,501 --> 00:06:04,838 But I wanna talk to you about something else. 80 00:06:04,999 --> 00:06:07,684 This is some fan mail we've gotten for you since the pageant. 81 00:06:07,849 --> 00:06:10,754 Letters, cards, chocolates. 82 00:06:10,924 --> 00:06:14,123 I'll take the chocolates. 83 00:06:14,287 --> 00:06:16,744 "Dear Miss Hart, I saw you on the pageant... 84 00:06:16,913 --> 00:06:19,216 ...and the next night I was coming out of a party... 85 00:06:19,378 --> 00:06:21,835 ...when this horrible guy grabbed me in the parking lot. 86 00:06:22,165 --> 00:06:26,194 So I did your SING self-defense, and he totally backed off. 87 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:29,908 I've gone through some tough times lately, and you have no idea what it means... 88 00:06:30,074 --> 00:06:32,924 ...to feel like you can stand up for yourself again. 89 00:06:33,341 --> 00:06:37,501 I just wanted to say thank you and you look beautiful in your e... " 90 00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,641 - Evening gown? - Evening gown. 91 00:06:39,810 --> 00:06:42,682 - She liked it? - Lori, Newark. 92 00:06:43,429 --> 00:06:46,693 Sir, you're reading my mail. That's a class-B misdemeanor. 93 00:06:47,817 --> 00:06:51,115 Hart, I've been getting five calls a day for you to be on talk shows. 94 00:06:51,275 --> 00:06:53,317 The Bureau's had some bad publicity lately... 95 00:06:53,485 --> 00:06:57,417 ...and the director thinks you could be the new face of the FBI. 96 00:07:00,018 --> 00:07:02,638 Sir, I'm just a field agent. 97 00:07:02,804 --> 00:07:06,669 Most field agents don't have the president calling them at home to congratulate them. 98 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:09,492 I can't believe I hung up on him. I thought it was Clonsky. 99 00:07:09,658 --> 00:07:13,785 This is important, Hart. Go home, have a nice dinner... 100 00:07:14,525 --> 00:07:16,349 ...and think about it. 101 00:07:17,215 --> 00:07:18,777 Well... 102 00:07:18,945 --> 00:07:21,467 ...I could use a nice dinner, sir. 103 00:07:21,987 --> 00:07:23,330 I'll think about it. 104 00:08:08,744 --> 00:08:10,206 Hart. 105 00:08:10,921 --> 00:08:13,258 Well, hello, Agent Matthews. 106 00:08:13,420 --> 00:08:18,028 No, I'm just putting the finishing touches on your chicken potpie. Yeah. 107 00:08:18,191 --> 00:08:22,537 I think I'm gonna make some man very, very happy someday. 108 00:08:22,707 --> 00:08:24,464 Listen, I wanna ask you something. 109 00:08:24,628 --> 00:08:27,664 Do you know if the Poconos are in New York or Pennsylvania? 110 00:08:27,831 --> 00:08:30,801 Because I cannot seem to get a clear answer on this. 111 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,338 Because I was thinking that maybe this weekend... 112 00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:38,010 ...we could take a little drive down there, do a little exploring, do... 113 00:08:38,335 --> 00:08:39,962 Why, aren't...? 114 00:08:40,225 --> 00:08:44,451 Why do you wanna talk tomorrow? I mean, aren't you gonna be here in 10 minutes? 115 00:08:48,551 --> 00:08:52,711 Oh, well, I thought we were moving at kind of a normal speed. L... 116 00:08:54,795 --> 00:08:58,475 Well, I don't need any more space. I mean... 117 00:08:58,638 --> 00:09:02,536 You know, it's not like I expect us to get married or anything, but I... 118 00:09:07,445 --> 00:09:10,164 Well, what is it? I mean, is it...? 119 00:09:11,353 --> 00:09:14,868 Is it the way I snort? I mean, because I don't have to snort. 120 00:09:15,035 --> 00:09:18,169 Or is it the...? Is it the sex? Because... 121 00:09:19,423 --> 00:09:24,183 You know, I could... I could get a manual or something. 122 00:09:31,145 --> 00:09:32,902 Well, no. 123 00:09:34,442 --> 00:09:36,713 No, you don't have to explain. 124 00:09:39,631 --> 00:09:43,725 No. No, you know what? You know what? I have to... I have to go. 125 00:09:45,683 --> 00:09:47,725 Don't worry about dinner. I... 126 00:09:47,893 --> 00:09:51,922 Mrs. Flammenbaum next door invited me to a surprise... 127 00:09:52,121 --> 00:09:54,741 ...keg party. You know what? I have to go. 128 00:09:55,931 --> 00:09:57,623 Okay. 129 00:09:58,686 --> 00:10:00,061 Bye. 130 00:11:36,970 --> 00:11:40,519 - This is where the health plan kicks in. - You ain't kidding. 131 00:11:47,923 --> 00:11:49,747 - Morning, sir. - Hey. 132 00:11:49,908 --> 00:11:52,561 I'd really like to talk to you for a minute, if I could. 133 00:11:52,727 --> 00:11:54,484 Hart, have you been crying? 134 00:11:54,649 --> 00:11:58,328 No. No. I don't cry. I don't even have tear ducts. 135 00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:07,678 Sam Fuller. Transferred in from Chicago last week... 136 00:12:07,843 --> 00:12:10,365 ...because of anger-management problems. 137 00:12:10,533 --> 00:12:13,951 Really? She seems like such a people person. 138 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,224 I've been giving this a lot of thought... 139 00:12:17,386 --> 00:12:21,929 ...and given the fact that going out on ops has become problematic in light of... 140 00:12:22,094 --> 00:12:23,721 ...the bank thing... 141 00:12:23,887 --> 00:12:28,298 Well, I have decided to become the new face of the FBI. 142 00:12:28,467 --> 00:12:31,087 I really wanna be there and support the Bureau... 143 00:12:31,253 --> 00:12:35,315 ...and be a positive role model for women. I feel like this is a great ti... 144 00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:38,808 Oh, yeah. No way you could've seen me standing there. 145 00:12:38,971 --> 00:12:40,149 - Sorry. - You were saying? 146 00:12:40,316 --> 00:12:42,260 Hey! Yo! 147 00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:45,880 - How about a real "sorry," huh? - Come again? 148 00:12:46,048 --> 00:12:47,773 - You heard me. - This is gonna be great. 149 00:12:47,938 --> 00:12:50,810 I said, how about a real "sorry"? 150 00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:54,150 You are about to feel some real pain if you don't back off. 151 00:12:54,311 --> 00:12:57,696 Hey, you know what? Don't talk to me about pain, sister. I invented pain. 152 00:12:57,865 --> 00:12:59,459 No, you didn't just call me sister. 153 00:12:59,627 --> 00:13:03,624 I don't recall seeing a little, skinny-ass white girl at the table growing up. 154 00:13:03,790 --> 00:13:06,694 Hey! First of all, thank you for calling me skinny. 155 00:13:06,864 --> 00:13:08,840 Second of all, what is your problem? 156 00:13:09,010 --> 00:13:11,346 And third of all, you better apologize to me or... 157 00:13:11,509 --> 00:13:13,812 - Make me! - You know, I don't make trash. Come on! 158 00:13:16,344 --> 00:13:18,550 - Come on. - Knock it off, Fuller. Take a shower. 159 00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:20,603 That's right, take a shower. Walk away. 160 00:13:20,764 --> 00:13:23,002 - You lucky you still can walk! - You want more? 161 00:13:23,165 --> 00:13:25,556 - Take a shower. Go on. - Come here. 162 00:13:26,016 --> 00:13:28,768 That's right, go on. Keep walking. 163 00:13:30,243 --> 00:13:31,738 Hart. 164 00:13:33,093 --> 00:13:34,883 You were saying? 165 00:13:37,001 --> 00:13:40,386 Oh, a positive role model for women, sir. 166 00:13:42,124 --> 00:13:45,160 I want you to talk to someone before we schedule any appearances. 167 00:13:45,327 --> 00:13:47,750 Someone who can help with personal-presentation issues. 168 00:13:47,921 --> 00:13:50,640 Clothing, makeup, so forth. He comes very highly recommended. 169 00:13:50,803 --> 00:13:52,845 I just went through a makeover for the pageant. 170 00:13:53,013 --> 00:13:56,179 I'm still getting hairspray off my butt. 171 00:13:57,304 --> 00:14:01,431 What? It prevents the bathing suit from riding up. Thank you. 172 00:14:01,595 --> 00:14:04,729 Sir, I just don't wanna become FBI Barbie again. 173 00:14:04,894 --> 00:14:06,073 What's your option? 174 00:14:06,239 --> 00:14:09,537 You can't go in the field without putting yourself and agents in jeopardy. 175 00:14:09,698 --> 00:14:12,515 - That part of your life is over. - Sir, it can't be. 176 00:14:12,676 --> 00:14:15,231 That's all that I know how to do. That's all that I have. 177 00:14:15,398 --> 00:14:18,270 You gotta make a choice. Sit at a desk pushing papers... 178 00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:21,290 ...or be out there boosting the Bureau's image? 179 00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:25,061 Look, when you make up your mind, let me know. 180 00:14:25,646 --> 00:14:28,430 Rachel, did those transfer papers for Matthews come through? 181 00:14:28,592 --> 00:14:30,601 On your desk, sir. 182 00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:35,477 Sir, is Agent Matthews going someplace? 183 00:14:35,638 --> 00:14:37,232 Miami. 184 00:14:38,296 --> 00:14:42,969 He's gonna be assistant SAC. Going to the top, that boy. 185 00:14:46,367 --> 00:14:47,829 Sir. 186 00:14:49,985 --> 00:14:51,360 Sorry. 187 00:14:53,572 --> 00:14:56,225 You know, I'll meet whoever you want me to meet. 188 00:14:56,390 --> 00:14:58,016 Good. 189 00:15:11,634 --> 00:15:13,708 Oh, I hope she's not a fatty. 190 00:15:13,876 --> 00:15:16,748 Joel Myers, Gracie Hart. 191 00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:18,582 Oh, yes. 192 00:15:18,999 --> 00:15:21,303 Yes. 193 00:15:21,466 --> 00:15:23,355 I can work with this. 194 00:15:23,515 --> 00:15:25,939 You will be my Mona Lisa, my Sistine Chapel. 195 00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:29,341 - I will find the sculpture in the stone. - Slow down, da Vinci. 196 00:15:29,504 --> 00:15:31,229 How do you feel about a pushup bra? 197 00:15:31,393 --> 00:15:34,494 How do you feel about a genital-shocking taser gun? 198 00:15:35,588 --> 00:15:37,412 I'm open to it. 199 00:15:38,631 --> 00:15:40,126 Okay. 200 00:15:40,296 --> 00:15:43,298 Are you open to new experiences, like becoming the face of the FBI? 201 00:15:43,466 --> 00:15:46,917 - I did the pageant, I can do this. - That was three days. This is your life. 202 00:15:47,086 --> 00:15:48,876 That was teaching a dog a few new tricks. 203 00:15:49,039 --> 00:15:51,375 This is teaching a dog to become a butterfly. 204 00:15:51,537 --> 00:15:54,638 Not that you're a dog. They generally have smoother hair. 205 00:15:56,149 --> 00:15:59,796 Look, just... You know, just tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it. 206 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,963 - Rule number one, no hitting. - What? 207 00:16:03,131 --> 00:16:07,509 The face of the FBI uses her words, not her fists or a chair. 208 00:16:07,678 --> 00:16:09,622 Rule number two, chew with your mouth closed. 209 00:16:09,856 --> 00:16:12,858 - You don't know how I eat. - You have ketchup stains all over you. 210 00:16:13,026 --> 00:16:16,192 How did they get there if they didn't fall from an open orifice? 211 00:16:16,997 --> 00:16:20,098 I don't know. Maybe I walked under a ketchup tree. 212 00:16:21,577 --> 00:16:24,394 Rule number three, no snorting. 213 00:16:24,907 --> 00:16:27,178 Why don't you just take the list. 214 00:16:32,112 --> 00:16:36,873 And I truly believe you are capable of great class and style. 215 00:16:38,037 --> 00:16:44,022 And, may I say, I also recently went through a breakup. 216 00:16:45,019 --> 00:16:46,962 I didn't go through a breakup. 217 00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:49,141 Puffy eyes, no sleep, irritable. 218 00:16:50,111 --> 00:16:52,634 And some of the other agents told me about it. 219 00:16:52,801 --> 00:16:56,415 But believe me, you do as I say, and you will make him regret it... 220 00:16:56,580 --> 00:17:00,992 ...because people care about people who care about themselves. 221 00:17:05,003 --> 00:17:08,584 - So it's all in here? - No, it's all in here. 222 00:17:08,750 --> 00:17:11,851 America wants a star. So you have to become a star. 223 00:17:12,016 --> 00:17:14,800 You have to dress and treat your friends like you're a star. 224 00:17:14,962 --> 00:17:17,266 You have to treat yourself like a star. Before you... 225 00:17:17,524 --> 00:17:19,183 I know, I know. I'm a big star! 226 00:17:19,349 --> 00:17:22,668 Our next guest was the runner-up at last year's Miss United States pageant. 227 00:17:24,186 --> 00:17:26,162 We found out she was actually an FBI agent... 228 00:17:26,331 --> 00:17:28,602 ...on a mission to thwart an attack on the pageant. 229 00:17:28,765 --> 00:17:30,555 You can read about it in her new book... 230 00:17:30,718 --> 00:17:33,109 ...From Misdemeanors to Miss Congeniality. 231 00:17:33,281 --> 00:17:36,033 Here's Agent Gracie Hart. 232 00:17:37,508 --> 00:17:39,298 - Hi, Gracie. - Regis. Good to see you. 233 00:17:39,462 --> 00:17:41,121 - Joy. - How are you? 234 00:17:41,286 --> 00:17:43,874 - What a great suit. - Thank you, and you look fabulous. 235 00:17:44,041 --> 00:17:47,688 - Thank you. - This is not how I picture an FBI agent. 236 00:17:48,044 --> 00:17:49,988 You don't look anything like J. Edgar Hoover. 237 00:17:50,158 --> 00:17:52,975 Oh, really? Because this is his dress. 238 00:17:54,993 --> 00:17:57,613 - Listen, I watched the pageant... - I bet you did, Regis. 239 00:17:57,779 --> 00:17:59,854 Every year, actually. It's embarrassing. 240 00:18:00,022 --> 00:18:03,253 My favorite part was the women's self-defense thing, you know? 241 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,824 Could you give us an encore? 242 00:18:04,986 --> 00:18:08,152 Actually, I don't do that anymore. I have someone who does it for me. 243 00:18:08,316 --> 00:18:12,116 So, if I could, I'd like to bring out a little friend of mine, Agent Sam Fuller... 244 00:18:12,287 --> 00:18:14,776 ...who will be helping us with the demonstration. 245 00:18:15,298 --> 00:18:17,306 Here she is. 246 00:18:19,012 --> 00:18:21,731 So, Regis, if we could have you come over to the mat. 247 00:18:21,894 --> 00:18:23,390 Fuller. 248 00:18:23,784 --> 00:18:26,950 Stand right here with Fuller in front of you. 249 00:18:27,275 --> 00:18:30,660 - All right, Regis, grab her. - She looks angry. 250 00:18:30,830 --> 00:18:34,444 - Do I have to grab her? - Go ahead. She has no place else to be. 251 00:18:34,961 --> 00:18:39,667 All right, ladies, if you'll please remember, the word is "SING." Solar plexus... 252 00:18:40,757 --> 00:18:42,067 ...instep... 253 00:18:42,230 --> 00:18:43,409 ...nose... 254 00:18:43,576 --> 00:18:46,480 ...and groin. - Not the groin! No! 255 00:18:48,219 --> 00:18:51,156 Very nice. Thank you, Agent Fuller. 256 00:18:51,325 --> 00:18:53,978 Come on, Regis, let's get you up. 257 00:18:57,314 --> 00:19:01,376 Thanks, Gracie. And as a special treat for knocking my husband around... 258 00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:04,860 ...I have a little surprise for you. I think you know these people. 259 00:19:05,032 --> 00:19:11,267 Here's Cheryl Frazier, Miss United States, and Stan Fields, host of the pageant. 260 00:19:14,992 --> 00:19:16,203 It's you! 261 00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:19,659 - I love your lipstick. - You do? Stila made it for me. 262 00:19:19,828 --> 00:19:22,929 - They named it after me. It's called Gracie. - That makes sense. 263 00:19:23,094 --> 00:19:25,813 - You did something to your hair. - Just a couple of highlights. 264 00:19:25,977 --> 00:19:27,571 - A couple? - Okay, okay... 265 00:19:27,738 --> 00:19:31,057 ...Miss I'll-Never-Grow-My-Bangs-Out- Because-It'll-Make-My-Face-Too-Long. 266 00:19:31,293 --> 00:19:33,913 I feel we should all be sitting under dryers. 267 00:19:34,079 --> 00:19:36,448 That's what happens when best friends get together. 268 00:19:37,153 --> 00:19:39,970 Wish we could have invited my best friend, Roger Coleman... 269 00:19:40,132 --> 00:19:42,949 ...but he got hit by a Goodwill truck last week. 270 00:19:43,462 --> 00:19:45,024 Really? 271 00:19:47,914 --> 00:19:51,265 Don't we have a commercial coming up? Please. 272 00:19:52,077 --> 00:19:54,730 - It's so good to see you. - It's so good to see you. L... 273 00:19:54,895 --> 00:19:57,352 Gracie, I'm sorry to interrupt. We have another taping. 274 00:19:57,521 --> 00:19:59,912 Oh, Cheryl, Joel Myers, my stylist. 275 00:20:00,084 --> 00:20:03,916 Miss United States, such a joy to meet you. This is my hair assistant, Janine. 276 00:20:04,086 --> 00:20:06,226 - A pleasure. - And on makeup and bass guitar, Pam. 277 00:20:06,392 --> 00:20:09,013 - Your Majesty. - And you're having a bad crown day. 278 00:20:09,179 --> 00:20:11,384 Excuse me, private conversation in progress. 279 00:20:11,805 --> 00:20:13,911 - Ticktock. - Okay. 280 00:20:15,071 --> 00:20:16,763 I'm sorry I haven't called in a while. 281 00:20:16,928 --> 00:20:20,411 Don't apologize. We'll have plenty of time to talk once I'm de-queened. 282 00:20:20,579 --> 00:20:25,055 - Oh, that sounds painful. - Oh, I really miss you. 283 00:20:25,222 --> 00:20:27,111 - And Eric. - Oh, well... 284 00:20:27,273 --> 00:20:29,543 ...actually Eric and I aren't Eric and I anymore. 285 00:20:29,707 --> 00:20:34,315 - What? Since when? - Oh, just 10 months. 286 00:20:34,478 --> 00:20:37,327 - Ten months? - Yeah, I didn't wanna bother you. 287 00:20:37,489 --> 00:20:41,201 You're busy, I'm busy. I didn't wanna call and say, "We broke up. " It's no big deal. 288 00:20:41,363 --> 00:20:44,180 Miss Hart? My daughter would love your John Hancock. 289 00:20:44,342 --> 00:20:45,455 - What's her name? - Lauren. 290 00:20:45,623 --> 00:20:46,638 Lauren. 291 00:20:46,904 --> 00:20:48,728 So, what happened? 292 00:20:48,889 --> 00:20:52,886 Oh, I just had to end it because he was getting, you know, really clingy. 293 00:20:53,725 --> 00:20:57,525 Yeah, but I'm fine. I'm good. I'm great. 294 00:20:57,696 --> 00:21:00,382 We need to get to Live at 5 for a wrestling demonstration... 295 00:21:00,547 --> 00:21:03,418 ...then there's a cocktail party at your publisher's apartment. 296 00:21:03,589 --> 00:21:05,445 I could go for a little tanning time. 297 00:21:05,607 --> 00:21:08,642 You're gonna go for a little unemployment time in about two seconds. 298 00:21:08,808 --> 00:21:11,232 Could you be a sweetheart and get me a Starbucks? 299 00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:14,023 I am dying for an iced Venti Caramel Macchiato. 300 00:21:14,189 --> 00:21:15,783 Get yourself a little something too. 301 00:21:17,328 --> 00:21:21,105 Let me tell you when I'm gonna get you an iced Venti Caramel Macchiato. 302 00:21:21,267 --> 00:21:25,907 When they elect a black woman president of the Daughters of the American Revolution. 303 00:21:26,391 --> 00:21:29,689 Okay. And if that happens, I'd also like one of those little muffins. 304 00:21:30,714 --> 00:21:32,570 Where would you like it? 305 00:21:33,179 --> 00:21:37,591 Fuller, I'm sensing a little subtle hostility, and I think we should talk about it. 306 00:21:38,176 --> 00:21:40,382 Fuller, you shouldn't keep things bottled up. 307 00:21:40,546 --> 00:21:44,804 - Fuller! What is your problem? - The problem is, I don't like you. 308 00:21:44,965 --> 00:21:48,033 Why don't you quit. I let you have this job as a favor to McDonald... 309 00:21:48,199 --> 00:21:51,136 ...because no one outside of the canine unit would work with you... 310 00:21:51,306 --> 00:21:54,724 ...because of your little attitude problem. - You know what? I'm out of here. 311 00:21:54,893 --> 00:21:57,350 Wait. Are you still going to Starbucks? 312 00:22:10,905 --> 00:22:12,433 Go! 313 00:22:19,456 --> 00:22:23,037 No one beats my little bro! Let's go, let's go, pay up. 314 00:22:23,203 --> 00:22:25,310 Come on, pay up. Come on, who's next? 315 00:22:26,758 --> 00:22:29,345 Let's get the bets on the table because... 316 00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:33,924 - Yeah? - Is he there? 317 00:22:35,853 --> 00:22:38,310 - Yeah, he's here. - Well, has he got my money? 318 00:22:38,671 --> 00:22:40,265 Hold on, I'll ask. 319 00:22:43,026 --> 00:22:47,634 Excuse me, Highlander, you owe Mr. Grant 500 bucks. You got it? 320 00:22:47,798 --> 00:22:49,491 Get lost. 321 00:22:50,168 --> 00:22:52,472 He says he doesn't have it, Mr. Grant. 322 00:22:54,651 --> 00:22:56,693 Okay! Okay! 323 00:22:56,862 --> 00:22:59,133 He seems to have discovered some cash, Mr. Grant. 324 00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:02,363 Good. All right, I got another one for you boys. 325 00:23:02,690 --> 00:23:04,863 Who's the mark? 326 00:23:05,028 --> 00:23:07,168 This is gonna be one for your scrapbook. 327 00:23:09,127 --> 00:23:12,708 - Thank you very much. Your name, please? - Octavia. 328 00:23:12,874 --> 00:23:15,876 I was wondering if you could tell me what skin-care regimen you use. 329 00:23:16,044 --> 00:23:18,184 Well, I like to catch as many felons as possible. 330 00:23:18,350 --> 00:23:22,861 It really gets the heart pumping, and the increased circulation helps my complexion. 331 00:23:23,026 --> 00:23:25,100 - There you go. Thank you very much. - Thank you. 332 00:23:25,268 --> 00:23:26,796 - Hey. - Hey. Your name, please? 333 00:23:26,965 --> 00:23:29,268 - Priscilla. - Priscilla. 334 00:23:29,430 --> 00:23:31,057 I have to do a book report. 335 00:23:31,224 --> 00:23:34,074 And I wanna do it on your book because I wanna be an agent too. 336 00:23:34,234 --> 00:23:37,018 Oh, well, good for you. Thank you, Priscilla. 337 00:23:37,181 --> 00:23:39,189 - Hi. Your name is? - Angela. 338 00:23:39,358 --> 00:23:42,841 The other kids are doing their report on Beyonc� or Britney... 339 00:23:43,009 --> 00:23:46,787 ...but if you come to my school and talk, they'd see why being an agent is so cool... 340 00:23:46,948 --> 00:23:49,438 ...and stop getting on me. - I would really love to... 341 00:23:49,606 --> 00:23:52,390 ...but as you can see, the agency's got me pretty busy. 342 00:23:52,553 --> 00:23:53,731 There you go. Thank you. 343 00:23:53,898 --> 00:23:57,927 What you could do is pull your hair up once in a while. It would open up your face... 344 00:23:58,093 --> 00:24:02,352 ...because remember, people care about people who care about themselves. 345 00:24:02,961 --> 00:24:04,587 - Okay. - Hi. Your name is? 346 00:24:04,754 --> 00:24:05,933 - Jason. - Jason. 347 00:24:06,099 --> 00:24:10,510 If you change your mind, it's P.S. 31, Priscilla, Miss Gordan's class. 348 00:24:10,679 --> 00:24:12,820 Got it. Thank you very much. Your name, please? 349 00:24:12,985 --> 00:24:14,327 - James. - Wait! 350 00:24:14,490 --> 00:24:16,214 You're not writing it down! 351 00:24:16,379 --> 00:24:19,098 Bureau training. I can retain enormous amounts of information. 352 00:24:19,262 --> 00:24:23,039 P.S. 31, Priscilla, Miss Gordan's class. See? 353 00:24:24,034 --> 00:24:27,233 And don't forget the hair tip. Try some bows. 354 00:24:30,791 --> 00:24:32,931 - There you go. Thank you. - Nice to meet you. 355 00:24:33,096 --> 00:24:36,066 And sorry to hear what happened to Miss United States. 356 00:24:39,213 --> 00:24:40,807 What happened? 357 00:24:40,975 --> 00:24:44,753 Cheryl Frazier was last seen outside this Las Vegas senior-citizen home... 358 00:24:44,914 --> 00:24:47,666 ...accompanied by longtime pageant host, Stan Fields. 359 00:24:47,828 --> 00:24:50,383 The two were walking to a limo after a goodwill mission... 360 00:24:50,550 --> 00:24:52,078 ...visiting the residents here. 361 00:24:52,248 --> 00:24:56,212 Apparently, Miss United States and emcee Fields were forced into a truck... 362 00:24:56,379 --> 00:24:59,064 Are they hurt? Are they alive? What demands have been made? 363 00:24:59,229 --> 00:25:02,046 That's all we know. You'll find out more when you get to Vegas. 364 00:25:02,207 --> 00:25:04,478 The director wants you to handle publicity on this. 365 00:25:04,641 --> 00:25:06,683 Public sees you on TV, they'll feel reassured. 366 00:25:06,851 --> 00:25:08,543 Absolutely, whatever I can do to help. 367 00:25:08,708 --> 00:25:11,678 Get your beauty team assembled immediately. The jet leaves at 0800. 368 00:25:11,847 --> 00:25:15,111 I want you to have a bodyguard out of New York. They're strapped in Vegas. 369 00:25:15,273 --> 00:25:17,861 - Sir, why do I need a bodyguard? - Crowd control. 370 00:25:18,028 --> 00:25:20,681 You're gonna be the hottest celebrity in Vegas. 371 00:25:20,846 --> 00:25:24,810 - Assuming Wayne Newton isn't in town. - Oh, of course, sir. "Danke Schoen. " 372 00:25:30,165 --> 00:25:33,517 Fuller! I want you on a plane to Vegas with Hart. 373 00:25:33,688 --> 00:25:36,439 She's gonna do publicity on the Cheryl Frazier kidnapping. 374 00:25:36,955 --> 00:25:38,330 Not going. 375 00:25:40,605 --> 00:25:43,641 - Did you just refuse an order? - I can't take her, sir. 376 00:25:43,808 --> 00:25:46,046 I'll kill her. And I'll enjoy it. 377 00:25:46,210 --> 00:25:48,798 Fuller, you are this close to being gone. 378 00:25:49,028 --> 00:25:51,681 Nobody wants to work with you in Chicago or here. 379 00:25:51,846 --> 00:25:53,789 That's fine by me. I like to work alone. 380 00:25:53,959 --> 00:25:58,021 Then become a lighthouse keeper. This is the FBI. We like partners. 381 00:25:58,187 --> 00:26:00,393 She's a pain in the ass. She's conceited and... 382 00:26:00,557 --> 00:26:04,816 Keep people off her. Keep her safe. You be a good bodyguard, I'll find you a partner. 383 00:26:04,976 --> 00:26:08,874 You blow this, you're gone. Period. 384 00:26:09,427 --> 00:26:11,917 And by the way, I loved you both on Regis. 385 00:26:38,443 --> 00:26:39,621 - Grant. - Boys. 386 00:26:39,787 --> 00:26:40,966 Mr. Grant. 387 00:26:41,132 --> 00:26:42,726 Let's see what you got for me. 388 00:26:42,894 --> 00:26:46,759 - Stan Fields and... - Miss United States. 389 00:26:47,281 --> 00:26:50,448 You know what the pageant will pay to get her back? Millions. 390 00:26:50,612 --> 00:26:53,713 - So you're saying we hold her for ransom? - No. 391 00:26:53,878 --> 00:26:56,848 I hold her for ransom, and you get a taste. 392 00:26:57,017 --> 00:26:59,058 Bring her to my car. 393 00:27:01,532 --> 00:27:04,055 I'm a little bit hungry. 394 00:27:04,415 --> 00:27:06,555 Hey! We grabbed her. 395 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:10,018 Moron, you can't handle this job. The feds will come right down on you. 396 00:27:10,179 --> 00:27:14,623 Don't call me a moron. I got a BA in Fine Arts, and my brother... 397 00:27:15,431 --> 00:27:18,150 - Don't call me a moron. - You were unemployed when I found you. 398 00:27:18,313 --> 00:27:20,584 You couldn't keep a job on the show in the Strip. 399 00:27:20,747 --> 00:27:23,171 I made that show! It was my concept. 400 00:27:23,342 --> 00:27:26,989 Then suddenly they change it and tell me and Lou we're not up to their standards. 401 00:27:27,152 --> 00:27:28,331 You work for me now. 402 00:27:30,579 --> 00:27:32,303 - Lou. - I'm there. 403 00:27:44,126 --> 00:27:45,621 Bring me back up! 404 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:51,935 She's yours! She's all yours! Let me up! Let me up. 405 00:27:52,740 --> 00:27:55,742 Just let me up. Oh, God, let me up. 406 00:27:56,808 --> 00:27:59,231 Next time, he lets go. 407 00:28:00,042 --> 00:28:01,636 You guys are crazy! 408 00:28:08,529 --> 00:28:10,024 Now what? 409 00:28:10,194 --> 00:28:13,066 Now we do exactly what he said. We ransom her. 410 00:28:29,409 --> 00:28:31,680 Please be careful. My guns are in that Fendi. 411 00:28:32,739 --> 00:28:35,709 Thank you. Thank you. 412 00:28:44,108 --> 00:28:46,761 Please tell me you have tickets to see Cirque du Soleil. 413 00:28:47,663 --> 00:28:49,934 - I'm your bodyguard. - What? 414 00:28:50,097 --> 00:28:53,646 McDonald thinks we have a bond because of our performance on Regis... 415 00:28:53,812 --> 00:28:57,459 ...and TRL, Oprah, the Food Network. 416 00:28:57,623 --> 00:29:02,296 Oh, hey, hey, we got some great recipes from that one. The lemon chicken? Tangy. 417 00:29:02,908 --> 00:29:07,930 Now, look, like all great teams, Hope and Crosby, Fred and Ginger... 418 00:29:08,095 --> 00:29:09,623 ...Outkast... 419 00:29:09,792 --> 00:29:11,517 ...the end must come... 420 00:29:11,682 --> 00:29:13,789 ...so bye-bye. 421 00:29:16,902 --> 00:29:21,313 Let me make this simple for you, Hart. McDonald gave me a mission... 422 00:29:21,802 --> 00:29:26,083 ...so that plane does not take off unless we're both on it. Got it? 423 00:29:27,406 --> 00:29:29,230 You might consider a Tic Tac. 424 00:30:04,748 --> 00:30:06,156 Please... 425 00:30:06,317 --> 00:30:09,003 ...we're trying to cooperate. 426 00:30:09,167 --> 00:30:11,852 - Shut your mouth. - You can't talk to her like that. 427 00:30:12,017 --> 00:30:14,605 - You trying to tell me what to do? - No, I'm just the emcee. 428 00:30:14,771 --> 00:30:18,287 I've heard you sing. Lucky I don't shoot you now. 429 00:30:18,455 --> 00:30:20,758 Okay, let's line this up. 430 00:30:23,963 --> 00:30:26,715 - And... - I don't have my crown. 431 00:30:27,773 --> 00:30:29,465 - Who cares? - I care. 432 00:30:29,631 --> 00:30:30,876 - Fine. - Thousands of women... 433 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,213 ...all across America care. - Give her the crown. 434 00:30:33,377 --> 00:30:37,636 When in public, Miss United States always proudly wears her crown. 435 00:30:37,797 --> 00:30:39,457 Okay? 436 00:30:39,943 --> 00:30:42,050 All right, let's go again. 437 00:30:42,441 --> 00:30:46,699 One, two, action. 438 00:30:46,861 --> 00:30:49,710 We've been kidnapped, and there's two men here... 439 00:30:49,870 --> 00:30:53,069 ...who say they're gonna kill us by Friday at midnight. 440 00:30:53,234 --> 00:30:55,275 But I don't want anyone to pay them any money. 441 00:30:55,443 --> 00:30:58,260 - Cut! - That would be giving in to terrorism... 442 00:30:58,421 --> 00:31:00,179 ...and I'm Miss United States... 443 00:31:00,343 --> 00:31:03,509 - Cut! ... and I stand for fairness and decency... 444 00:31:03,673 --> 00:31:05,431 ...and the American way! 445 00:31:07,484 --> 00:31:09,209 I said, cut! 446 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,849 I'd be happy to say it if you'd like. 447 00:31:15,010 --> 00:31:16,986 I've done quite a bit of theater. 448 00:31:17,156 --> 00:31:21,088 I played lago in Twelfth Night. 449 00:32:04,873 --> 00:32:07,111 Put two more choppers up. 450 00:32:07,660 --> 00:32:08,937 Sir. 451 00:32:13,584 --> 00:32:16,139 - Gracie Hart. - Yes. 452 00:32:16,402 --> 00:32:19,022 - I'm Walter Collins. - Sir. 453 00:32:19,541 --> 00:32:21,615 I feel as though I'm in the presence of royalty. 454 00:32:21,783 --> 00:32:24,174 Oh, no, sir, I'm not queen, just runner-up. 455 00:32:24,665 --> 00:32:27,449 I would like to present to you Agent Sam Fuller. 456 00:32:27,900 --> 00:32:29,242 - Fuller. - Sir. 457 00:32:29,405 --> 00:32:34,045 - Joel Myers, Janine and Pam. - Joel, Janine, Pam. 458 00:32:34,208 --> 00:32:37,855 Why don't we get you to the hotel while I give the agents a debriefing. 459 00:32:38,212 --> 00:32:41,793 Oh, that's too bad. It's been months since I've had a good debriefing. 460 00:32:41,959 --> 00:32:45,125 Although, I'm really more of a boxers man. 461 00:32:50,893 --> 00:32:53,164 Okay, wrong audience. 462 00:32:58,579 --> 00:33:01,648 Agent Hart, Agent Fuller, this is Agent Foreman. He's your liaison. 463 00:33:01,814 --> 00:33:03,725 - You need anything, Jeff is your boy. - Good. 464 00:33:03,896 --> 00:33:05,271 Welcome to Las Vegas 465 00:33:05,432 --> 00:33:09,112 When my girlfriend found out that I would be working with you, she almost died. 466 00:33:09,275 --> 00:33:10,738 Yeah, she's an agent too. 467 00:33:10,909 --> 00:33:13,398 She actually thought that I was gonna fall for you. 468 00:33:13,566 --> 00:33:18,109 - I told her... I said, "Janet, there's no way... " - Foreman, we talked about this. 469 00:33:18,274 --> 00:33:23,297 Sorry, sir. Anyway, you're obviously too old for me, so... 470 00:33:23,782 --> 00:33:27,331 Oh, good, well, that's a load off. 471 00:33:28,779 --> 00:33:32,394 Frazier and Fields make an appearance at a senior center for a program... 472 00:33:32,558 --> 00:33:36,969 ...where the elderly spend time with kids. Mr. Fields' mother is there. 473 00:33:37,137 --> 00:33:38,632 I think what you're doing here... 474 00:33:38,802 --> 00:33:42,766 ...shows that different generations have so much to learn from each other. 475 00:33:42,934 --> 00:33:46,549 I mean, I know I learned a lot from my grandmother... 476 00:33:46,713 --> 00:33:49,584 ...specifically, how to kill a chicken. 477 00:33:49,755 --> 00:33:53,588 And even though it wasn't something I enjoyed doing... 478 00:33:53,759 --> 00:33:56,576 ...I'll never forget the sound of their death squawks. 479 00:33:56,737 --> 00:34:00,799 But if I had to kill a chicken, I'd know how. 480 00:34:01,156 --> 00:34:02,531 They finish their appearance. 481 00:34:02,693 --> 00:34:05,216 Head for the limo, where they're attacked and kidnapped. 482 00:34:05,384 --> 00:34:07,557 We got this video from a surveillance camera. 483 00:34:08,458 --> 00:34:13,066 All we have is two hooded figures, the make of the truck and a fake license plate. 484 00:34:13,230 --> 00:34:17,706 We talked to the limo driver, but he says he didn't see anything. And that's it. 485 00:34:17,969 --> 00:34:20,393 These are your briefing folders. 486 00:34:21,396 --> 00:34:25,261 Hart, you have a press conference at your hotel at 0900 tomorrow morning. 487 00:34:25,431 --> 00:34:27,320 - Call me if there's any questions. - Sir? 488 00:34:28,505 --> 00:34:31,824 - We have to find her. - I'll find her. 489 00:34:45,991 --> 00:34:47,651 I know we're on a tight schedule... 490 00:34:47,817 --> 00:34:51,497 ...but if you guys wanna see any shows, just let me know. Janet can get us tickets. 491 00:34:51,660 --> 00:34:54,117 I don't know how she does it, but she does it. 492 00:34:54,542 --> 00:34:58,953 She's really great. Expert marksman. She bakes. 493 00:34:59,121 --> 00:35:02,866 Oh, almost forgot. Here are your coded ID cards. 494 00:35:03,029 --> 00:35:07,090 You're gonna need these to get into the Bureau. And here are your earpieces. 495 00:35:07,255 --> 00:35:08,751 We're... Thanks. 496 00:35:08,921 --> 00:35:12,306 We're gonna be on frequency 1145. 497 00:35:13,245 --> 00:35:16,094 Sorry, that is not FBI issue. 498 00:35:16,254 --> 00:35:18,875 That's a sweater that I bought for Janet for her birthday. 499 00:35:19,041 --> 00:35:23,517 And that's the hat that goes with it. Argyle. She's Scottish. 500 00:35:23,876 --> 00:35:26,082 Janet McCarren. 501 00:35:26,247 --> 00:35:28,769 Look, I'm sorry. I'm just really in love. 502 00:35:29,288 --> 00:35:32,138 Where's the best place for me to throw up? 503 00:35:32,395 --> 00:35:34,055 Well, I am thrilled for you, Jeff. 504 00:35:34,861 --> 00:35:38,923 Because, unlike Agent Fuller, I, too, am carbon-based. 505 00:35:52,796 --> 00:35:54,226 The Venetian Hotel. 506 00:36:00,449 --> 00:36:02,273 Miss Hart! 507 00:36:04,644 --> 00:36:08,706 What a fantastic pleasure. I am Roberto Fenice, manager of the Venetian Hotel. 508 00:36:08,872 --> 00:36:12,420 - Oh, hello. - Your wish is my command. 509 00:36:12,587 --> 00:36:16,070 Oh, well, I wish you wouldn't kiss my watch. It's not water-resistant. 510 00:36:16,238 --> 00:36:19,306 Although it's more action than I've had in months, so go ahead. 511 00:36:19,472 --> 00:36:22,256 - Miss Hart, you are delicious. - Mr. Fenice. 512 00:36:22,419 --> 00:36:24,809 Hi, I'm Agent Foreman. This is Agent Sam Fuller. 513 00:36:24,980 --> 00:36:29,140 - Oh, my gosh! It's Gracie Hart! - You're kidding! 514 00:36:29,304 --> 00:36:30,582 - Where? - Right there! 515 00:36:30,745 --> 00:36:32,273 Gracie! 516 00:36:32,442 --> 00:36:34,331 Gracie! Hey! Grac... 517 00:36:34,940 --> 00:36:35,889 Fuller! 518 00:36:37,022 --> 00:36:38,517 - Oh, my! - Fuller! 519 00:36:39,104 --> 00:36:40,763 All right, down! Down! 520 00:36:40,929 --> 00:36:42,938 Too much, too much, too much. Fuller, Fuller. 521 00:36:43,107 --> 00:36:47,813 Fuller, I don't think you fully understand the concept of "too much"! 522 00:36:47,974 --> 00:36:51,457 Hey, McDonald told me to keep people off you. 523 00:36:51,625 --> 00:36:56,036 And I don't think grandpa's coming back. At least, not under his own power. 524 00:37:00,144 --> 00:37:03,048 Maybe we should've stayed at Treasure Island, huh? 525 00:37:04,692 --> 00:37:06,700 - You don't see that in Jersey. - It's the best. 526 00:37:06,869 --> 00:37:09,806 A ships sinks, and there's all these scantily clad sailors around. 527 00:37:09,975 --> 00:37:13,393 - Makes me wanna join the Navy. - Yeah, you are just what they're looking for. 528 00:37:13,562 --> 00:37:16,314 Hey, Hart, you sure this suite is big enough for you? 529 00:37:16,477 --> 00:37:19,349 I can fit my entire room inside your steam shower. 530 00:37:19,518 --> 00:37:21,342 Feel free to move in there. 531 00:37:21,504 --> 00:37:24,605 Yeah, right. Right, let's go over this schedule for tomorrow. 532 00:37:24,771 --> 00:37:26,267 - Gracie? - Yes. 533 00:37:26,437 --> 00:37:29,221 Gracie, there's something about Cheryl on the TV. 534 00:37:31,977 --> 00:37:34,761 We just received what appears to be a ransom video... 535 00:37:34,923 --> 00:37:38,920 ...which was e-mailed to our studios a few hours ago from an anonymous source. 536 00:37:39,087 --> 00:37:42,056 It was sent from an unknown location. 537 00:37:42,224 --> 00:37:45,675 We've been kidnapped. And there's two men here... 538 00:37:45,844 --> 00:37:49,905 ...who say they're going to kill us by Friday at midnight... 539 00:37:50,295 --> 00:37:54,488 ...unless they're paid $5 million by the pageant. 540 00:37:55,259 --> 00:37:59,736 Once again, that's $5 million by Friday at midnight. 541 00:37:59,903 --> 00:38:02,938 I can't just sit here. I have to do something. I should just see... 542 00:38:03,105 --> 00:38:05,693 You should do exactly what you came here to do, Hart. 543 00:38:06,692 --> 00:38:09,028 Press conference at 9. 544 00:39:02,287 --> 00:39:03,815 Limos. 545 00:39:04,209 --> 00:39:06,861 Limos, limos, limos. 546 00:39:26,306 --> 00:39:30,018 - Call for you, sir. Line two. - Thank you. 547 00:39:32,967 --> 00:39:36,450 - Collins. - Yes, sir, hi, this is Gracie Hart. 548 00:39:36,618 --> 00:39:39,435 I was looking at the visuals, and I noticed that the limousine... 549 00:39:39,596 --> 00:39:41,987 - We talked to the limo driver. - I realize that, but... 550 00:39:42,159 --> 00:39:44,527 - We've got something on aerial. - Don't worry about it. 551 00:39:44,689 --> 00:39:46,600 Get some rest. Have a nice press conference. 552 00:39:48,724 --> 00:39:50,132 Okay. 553 00:39:51,158 --> 00:39:52,915 Thank you, Janet. 554 00:39:56,762 --> 00:39:59,131 Yeah, hi, is this Desert Limo Service? 555 00:39:59,292 --> 00:40:01,814 Yeah, I'm trying to locate one of your drivers. 556 00:40:01,982 --> 00:40:03,740 A Mr. Tom Abernathy. 557 00:40:25,168 --> 00:40:29,164 Hi, is Gracie Hart there, please? I have FBI Director Wilson on the line. 558 00:40:29,331 --> 00:40:31,155 We need to speak with her ASAP, please. 559 00:40:32,085 --> 00:40:35,732 Is Gracie Hart here? Gracie Hart? 560 00:40:35,896 --> 00:40:39,860 - Is somebody calling for Gracie Hart? - Yes, ma'am. 561 00:40:40,027 --> 00:40:42,101 I'm Gracie Hart. 562 00:40:42,334 --> 00:40:44,440 - I recognize her! Gracie Hart's here! - Yes? 563 00:40:44,607 --> 00:40:49,597 - It's FBI Director Wilson, ASAP. ASAP. - Director Wilson. Thank you. Hart here. 564 00:40:50,147 --> 00:40:52,386 Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 565 00:40:53,286 --> 00:40:54,945 Yes, sir. I'm on it. 566 00:40:55,207 --> 00:40:57,959 Thank you very much. Okay, sir, bye-bye. 567 00:40:58,121 --> 00:41:00,228 - Would you please sign this? - Oh, sure, I... 568 00:41:00,395 --> 00:41:02,339 My mom loves you. 569 00:41:02,509 --> 00:41:05,381 - And she does not love easily. - I love you too, Gracie. 570 00:41:05,551 --> 00:41:07,407 - You're fabulous. - You've got such great... 571 00:41:07,569 --> 00:41:10,921 Thank you, guys, so much for your support. 572 00:41:11,092 --> 00:41:15,602 I'm here on business to talk to this man about the Miss United States kidnapping. 573 00:41:15,767 --> 00:41:17,230 - Mr. Abernathy? - Yeah? 574 00:41:17,401 --> 00:41:19,158 What did you do? 575 00:41:19,322 --> 00:41:23,187 He was driving the limousine that Cheryl Frazier and Stan Fields were in... 576 00:41:23,357 --> 00:41:24,787 ...the day they were kidnapped. 577 00:41:24,959 --> 00:41:28,409 I wanted to know why you parked so far away from the entrance of the home. 578 00:41:28,577 --> 00:41:30,521 Yeah, why would you do that? Why? 579 00:41:30,691 --> 00:41:33,376 So if I could show you something... 580 00:41:33,541 --> 00:41:39,077 Well, it's not these. It's not my badge. Well, what do you...? 581 00:41:39,786 --> 00:41:42,341 It's my deployment schedule... 582 00:41:42,509 --> 00:41:46,855 ...and if you can look where it says "tomorrow's events. " 583 00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:50,631 - Yeah, go ahead, read aloud. - "Nine a. m. Press conference... 584 00:41:50,803 --> 00:41:54,832 ...at the Venetian"? - Speak up, we cannot hear you! 585 00:41:54,998 --> 00:41:57,553 He said, "9 a. m. Press conference at the Venetian"... 586 00:41:57,720 --> 00:42:00,144 ...where I will be in front of channels two, four... 587 00:42:00,314 --> 00:42:02,137 I mean, well, everybody's invited. 588 00:42:02,300 --> 00:42:05,651 And I will probably have to say that Tom Abernathy is a suspect. 589 00:42:05,822 --> 00:42:07,929 Why are you doing this to me? 590 00:42:08,097 --> 00:42:09,920 Because I wanna find my friends. 591 00:42:10,210 --> 00:42:13,180 And because you are sweating in all three stress spots... 592 00:42:13,349 --> 00:42:18,109 ...that people routinely start sweating in before they undergo public humiliation. 593 00:42:18,601 --> 00:42:20,358 I had it on Letterman. 594 00:42:21,354 --> 00:42:23,723 Okay, everybody, I would love to stay and chat... 595 00:42:23,884 --> 00:42:26,789 ...but I have to go pick out my outfit for the press conference. 596 00:42:26,959 --> 00:42:29,262 - Oh, what time was that again? - Nine! 597 00:42:29,425 --> 00:42:32,624 Thank you. Watch the news, I'll do a little shout out. 598 00:42:32,787 --> 00:42:34,163 Thanks, Gracie. 599 00:42:34,325 --> 00:42:38,900 Hey! Hey! Hold up! Hold up. Wait. 600 00:42:40,506 --> 00:42:45,179 Okay. Somebody came up to me the day before. 601 00:42:45,341 --> 00:42:49,501 She offers me 200 bucks if I will park far away from the entrance at the home... 602 00:42:49,664 --> 00:42:53,759 ...and that's it. That's all I know, I swear. - She? What did she look like? 603 00:42:59,336 --> 00:43:02,186 - Oh, Miss Hart, would you mind? - Oh, I'm actually in a hurry. 604 00:43:02,347 --> 00:43:04,902 - Is it true you're seeing Prince William? - Oh, I'm... 605 00:43:05,069 --> 00:43:08,814 No, we were just talking at a book party. He's in love with me, but I hate castles. 606 00:43:09,328 --> 00:43:13,609 - Sorry, sorry, sorry. Hey. - Let me explain something to you. 607 00:43:13,780 --> 00:43:16,979 You didn't do what was on the schedule, and I'm a schedule-type person. 608 00:43:17,142 --> 00:43:18,932 You missed the press conference. 609 00:43:19,095 --> 00:43:21,945 I went to the Bureau because I got a tip from the limo driver... 610 00:43:22,106 --> 00:43:24,596 ...who said that somebody who looked like Dolly Parton... 611 00:43:24,764 --> 00:43:27,067 ...paid him not to park in front of the senior home. 612 00:43:27,230 --> 00:43:29,054 - Did you hear what you just said? - Yeah. 613 00:43:29,215 --> 00:43:31,454 And why did you go out without clearing it with me? 614 00:43:31,618 --> 00:43:34,107 Clearing it with you? 615 00:43:34,467 --> 00:43:36,324 Hey, I'll bet no one's had breakfast... 616 00:43:36,486 --> 00:43:39,652 I'm sorry, but I don't work for you. Okay? You work for me, so... 617 00:43:39,816 --> 00:43:43,780 - No, you didn't just say I work for you. - You work for me. 618 00:43:44,395 --> 00:43:45,858 - You work for me. - Shut up. 619 00:43:46,029 --> 00:43:47,306 - You work for me. - Shut up. 620 00:43:47,470 --> 00:43:50,122 Fuller, I don't have the time for this, okay? 621 00:43:50,288 --> 00:43:52,297 Listen, why don't we just get something... 622 00:43:52,465 --> 00:43:55,118 Okay, look. I am the face of the Bureau. 623 00:43:55,284 --> 00:43:59,663 You are here to help me be the face of the Bureau, which means that you work for me. 624 00:43:59,832 --> 00:44:01,010 It's no big... 625 00:44:03,898 --> 00:44:08,310 Look, Hart, I am your bodyguard. That means I need a body to guard! 626 00:44:08,702 --> 00:44:13,048 You hit me, which means I could bring you up on charges. 627 00:44:13,218 --> 00:44:17,182 If I could just bring myself up right now. 628 00:44:17,605 --> 00:44:21,602 Okay, look, I don't work for you. You don't work for me. 629 00:44:21,769 --> 00:44:26,693 We're a team. Get it? As in "I will kick your sorry ass if you don't listen to me" team. 630 00:44:26,860 --> 00:44:29,033 If you remember correctly, it was "skinny ass. " 631 00:44:29,198 --> 00:44:32,332 And, second of all, what is your problem, Fuller? 632 00:44:32,657 --> 00:44:37,101 Do you honestly feel it's okay to go around harassing people and bashing their faces in? 633 00:44:37,268 --> 00:44:39,758 Guess what. You will never make it in this Bureau... 634 00:44:39,927 --> 00:44:42,831 ...if you don't start using your head. You just use... 635 00:44:43,930 --> 00:44:46,103 What, you start listening to me now? 636 00:44:48,286 --> 00:44:50,743 Stop it! Stop! Stop! 637 00:44:51,327 --> 00:44:52,506 All right. 638 00:44:52,673 --> 00:44:58,078 Fuller, violence is not the answer to our problems, all right? It's not. 639 00:44:58,245 --> 00:45:01,182 And I'm not just saying that because I'm "scared" of you. Okay? 640 00:45:01,351 --> 00:45:03,808 Because I'm... What is that?! 641 00:45:08,365 --> 00:45:11,629 I am calling McDonald. Where's Joel? I can't go into public like this. 642 00:45:11,792 --> 00:45:13,419 Hey, how are you? Joel! 643 00:45:13,585 --> 00:45:16,042 - Hello. - You knocked my highlights off. 644 00:45:16,211 --> 00:45:17,554 - What happened? - Look! 645 00:45:17,717 --> 00:45:19,660 - This will take an hour. - Tell me about it. 646 00:45:19,830 --> 00:45:21,041 - Misting. - Ladies. 647 00:45:21,208 --> 00:45:24,691 I really think we should call the networks and set up another press conference. 648 00:45:24,858 --> 00:45:27,281 You know what? You're absolutely right. Okay. 649 00:45:27,452 --> 00:45:31,830 I'm gonna go back up to the room. I'm gonna get a little spritz, a little refresh... 650 00:45:35,234 --> 00:45:39,099 It's her. It's her. Hold this. 651 00:45:40,038 --> 00:45:43,040 - We are not questioning Dolly. - It's not the real Dolly, so relax. 652 00:45:43,208 --> 00:45:45,282 I know it's not. Stay away from her. 653 00:45:45,450 --> 00:45:47,339 Okay, I'm an adult. I can act as I please. 654 00:45:47,500 --> 00:45:50,219 - You leave Dolly alone! - Get your hands off me! 655 00:45:50,382 --> 00:45:54,444 Thank you very much. Excuse me, fake Dolly! 656 00:45:54,609 --> 00:45:56,618 Hi. Hello. FBI here. 657 00:45:56,787 --> 00:46:00,303 Yeah, I just would love to have a few words with you if I could. 658 00:46:00,470 --> 00:46:01,998 - Hi, how are you? - How you doing? 659 00:46:02,167 --> 00:46:06,294 Yeah, thank you for your support. Yeah. Get off me, you stalker! Get off me! 660 00:46:06,939 --> 00:46:08,314 Fake Dolly! 661 00:46:08,476 --> 00:46:10,070 Where are you going? 662 00:46:12,543 --> 00:46:13,721 Hart! 663 00:46:15,777 --> 00:46:17,022 - Fake Dolly! - Gracie! 664 00:46:17,186 --> 00:46:18,464 - Stop! - Hart, stop! 665 00:46:19,877 --> 00:46:21,187 Dolly Parton! 666 00:46:21,350 --> 00:46:24,997 What is it about this outfit that is making everyone so uncooperative? 667 00:46:25,161 --> 00:46:26,406 Gracie Hart! 668 00:46:29,997 --> 00:46:33,032 Blondie! No pictures. Hold on. 669 00:46:33,199 --> 00:46:34,510 Excuse me. I need for you to... 670 00:46:35,890 --> 00:46:38,445 - Open! Just... - Watch it! 671 00:46:39,124 --> 00:46:41,876 - Someone stop that fake Dolly! - Hart, stop! 672 00:46:43,799 --> 00:46:45,044 Stop her! 673 00:46:45,465 --> 00:46:46,643 Excuse me. Excuse me. 674 00:46:50,301 --> 00:46:53,238 Please don't make me do something that's not ladylike. 675 00:46:58,755 --> 00:47:01,474 Okay, FBI. I have just a few questions for you. 676 00:47:01,637 --> 00:47:05,055 Me first! What is the matter with you? 677 00:47:05,224 --> 00:47:07,080 Miss Hart! What are you doing? 678 00:47:07,242 --> 00:47:10,507 Miss Parton is here for a press conference to announce her new world tour. 679 00:47:10,669 --> 00:47:13,191 There is no world tour, and this is not Dolly Parton. 680 00:47:13,359 --> 00:47:16,078 Okay, look. Look, these are absolutely... 681 00:47:16,241 --> 00:47:19,539 What are you...? What is she doing? That hurts! 682 00:47:20,148 --> 00:47:23,827 - Why did you run? - Some crazy woman was chasing me! 683 00:47:24,536 --> 00:47:28,401 Excuse me, excuse me. Miss Parton, "Here You Come Again" was my wedding song. 684 00:47:28,571 --> 00:47:31,028 - I just love you. - Honey, let's leave Miss Parton alone. 685 00:47:31,197 --> 00:47:33,882 I love that song too. That was an amazing song! 686 00:47:34,046 --> 00:47:36,088 Why are you on top of me? 687 00:47:37,537 --> 00:47:40,059 I'm just a big fan. 688 00:47:40,772 --> 00:47:42,878 It's also on CNN... 689 00:47:43,045 --> 00:47:45,349 ...MSNBC... 690 00:47:45,672 --> 00:47:47,714 ...and Al Jazeera. 691 00:47:47,882 --> 00:47:51,779 - I was trying to question her regarding... - You really think you're something special. 692 00:47:51,948 --> 00:47:54,667 I have got 75 people working on this case day and night... 693 00:47:54,831 --> 00:47:57,615 ...and they don't stack up to you, do they? - The limo driver... 694 00:47:57,777 --> 00:48:00,747 I want you off this case. 695 00:48:01,108 --> 00:48:06,327 Well, I am sorry, sir, but you don't have the authority to kick me off this case. 696 00:48:08,089 --> 00:48:12,370 I could call the director, who happens to be a close, personal friend. 697 00:48:12,541 --> 00:48:18,044 Or I could even call the president, who invited me to dinner at his house. 698 00:48:18,401 --> 00:48:23,042 And I think we know which house I'm talking about, don't we? It's white. 699 00:48:23,205 --> 00:48:24,700 Actually, it's eggshell, if you... 700 00:48:24,870 --> 00:48:29,151 I am the SAC in Las Vegas. I have authority over my territory. 701 00:48:29,322 --> 00:48:32,106 And when the director sees you on national television... 702 00:48:32,268 --> 00:48:35,948 ...nose-tackling his favorite country-western singer, he will back me up. 703 00:48:36,271 --> 00:48:39,569 Now, I want the two of you on a jet back to New York today. 704 00:48:39,730 --> 00:48:43,180 Do you think you can handle that tiny, little task, Foreman? 705 00:48:43,477 --> 00:48:44,655 Of course, sir. 706 00:48:49,818 --> 00:48:52,722 Okay. I got you the last three seats on the flight. 707 00:48:52,892 --> 00:48:55,196 Janine, Pam, you have to take the next one. Sorry. 708 00:48:55,551 --> 00:48:58,303 - Because we're just hair and makeup? - We could go to the bar. 709 00:48:58,465 --> 00:49:00,833 For five hours? 710 00:49:00,995 --> 00:49:02,425 Okay. 711 00:49:07,976 --> 00:49:10,367 The director's gonna call me back any minute. 712 00:49:10,538 --> 00:49:11,815 Good. And when he does... 713 00:49:11,980 --> 00:49:15,244 ...you can let him know that chasing Dolly was all your dumb idea. 714 00:49:15,406 --> 00:49:18,474 Oh, really? Well, let me ask you something, Chatty Cathy. 715 00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:22,091 What happened to, "Team, yo. You and me in it together"? 716 00:49:22,259 --> 00:49:25,557 Don't do that again. And that was before you ruined my career. 717 00:49:25,718 --> 00:49:26,897 - What? - Yeah. 718 00:49:27,063 --> 00:49:31,157 McDonald said that if I screwed this up, then I'm out of the Bureau. Thanks, Hart. 719 00:49:31,322 --> 00:49:33,560 What are you complaining about? You're not famous. 720 00:49:33,725 --> 00:49:36,148 Nobody knows who you are. You're a private failure. 721 00:49:36,318 --> 00:49:39,703 But you see this? You see this? Everybody knows this. 722 00:49:39,873 --> 00:49:42,176 So if I screw up, I'm failure face. 723 00:49:42,339 --> 00:49:45,024 Well, get your failure face out of my ruined-career face... 724 00:49:45,189 --> 00:49:48,356 ...because right now I'm mad, and I'm pissed off and mad, so... 725 00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:50,594 Oh, okay, hold on. So you're double mad? 726 00:49:50,762 --> 00:49:54,474 Well, if you're double mad, then I am mad, mad, mad. All right? Top that one. 727 00:49:54,636 --> 00:49:56,493 - Back off! - You gotta stop hitting me... 728 00:49:56,654 --> 00:49:58,510 ...because every time you do, it wrinkles! 729 00:49:58,671 --> 00:50:00,560 Ladies, ladies! 730 00:50:00,722 --> 00:50:05,264 Calm down. Sit down. Sit down. I'm gonna separate the two of you. 731 00:50:05,590 --> 00:50:07,860 Mad, mad, mad, mad. Four. 732 00:50:08,856 --> 00:50:10,264 I can still shoot her from here. 733 00:50:10,425 --> 00:50:12,117 You have to lean over me to get to her. 734 00:50:12,282 --> 00:50:16,246 Now, let's calm down and try to focus on the positive. We have our health. 735 00:50:16,413 --> 00:50:19,711 - You'll be getting frequent-flyer miles. - Foreman, what did you just say? 736 00:50:20,032 --> 00:50:22,620 Frequent-flyer miles. It's a great way to get upgrades. 737 00:50:22,786 --> 00:50:24,348 No, you said that she... 738 00:50:27,238 --> 00:50:31,681 You said that she would have to lean over you to get to me. 739 00:50:35,084 --> 00:50:37,934 Look at what the kidnappers are doing. 740 00:50:38,799 --> 00:50:41,868 This guy is leaning over Cheryl to get to Stan. 741 00:50:42,034 --> 00:50:44,971 Why would they do that if they were after Cheryl? 742 00:50:45,236 --> 00:50:48,621 Okay, and look at this. Look at this. They're not even touching her. 743 00:50:48,791 --> 00:50:53,333 No, she's just stuck in there, like a little Cheryl sandwich. She's... She's... 744 00:50:53,498 --> 00:50:57,724 Oh, my God. She is grabbing them. I taught her that wristlock. 745 00:50:57,886 --> 00:51:02,330 - She's not defending herself. She's... - She's defending Stan. 746 00:51:02,497 --> 00:51:06,243 Maybe they weren't after Cheryl. Maybe they were after Stan. 747 00:51:07,078 --> 00:51:08,934 The man can't sing, but is that a crime? 748 00:51:09,095 --> 00:51:11,912 - That's what we're gonna find out. - Hey, look, they're boarding. 749 00:51:12,073 --> 00:51:13,863 - Let it go, Hart. - Oh, Fuller, come on. 750 00:51:14,026 --> 00:51:17,575 Wake up and smell the iced Venti Caramel Macchiato. You know I'm onto something. 751 00:51:17,742 --> 00:51:20,941 - Okay. Tell Collins. - We have issues. He won't listen to me. 752 00:51:21,104 --> 00:51:24,368 - And you think I am? - Yes. Yes, I do. 753 00:51:24,530 --> 00:51:28,974 You know, you don't get your miles unless you're actually on the flight, so come on. 754 00:51:29,527 --> 00:51:31,765 - You're on your own, Hart. - No, I'm not. 755 00:51:31,928 --> 00:51:35,608 Because even though you refuse to dress up or separate those eyebrows... 756 00:51:35,771 --> 00:51:37,748 ...you cannot deny that you have a style. 757 00:51:38,462 --> 00:51:43,867 Gray suit, white shirt, masculine shoes. You are an FBI agent. 758 00:51:44,034 --> 00:51:45,923 And that is all that you have. 759 00:51:46,083 --> 00:51:51,303 And like you said, if you go back there now, you are out of the Bureau. 760 00:51:51,464 --> 00:51:55,526 Now boarding all rows on flight 624 to New York. 761 00:51:57,100 --> 00:51:58,563 Fuller, I am begging you. 762 00:51:59,086 --> 00:52:01,935 Do you have any idea how painful this is for me? 763 00:52:02,096 --> 00:52:05,033 Usually, they give an epidural for this kind of agony. 764 00:52:05,651 --> 00:52:10,477 Fuller, please, just... Just, please. 765 00:52:14,746 --> 00:52:16,852 Hart, you better be right, or I swear... 766 00:52:17,019 --> 00:52:20,317 You're gonna kick my skinny white ass and break my face. I know. 767 00:52:21,055 --> 00:52:25,631 I already paid for the seats, and I don't get reimbursed unless you're on the flight. 768 00:52:31,943 --> 00:52:34,945 I'm letting you spend the night because I wanna keep my eyes on you. 769 00:52:35,113 --> 00:52:38,378 - Tomorrow, you guys are on a flight. - Okay, as soon as we go to the home. 770 00:52:38,541 --> 00:52:40,550 - Whose home? - Where Stan Fields' mother lives. 771 00:52:40,719 --> 00:52:43,438 She was the last person to see him. Maybe she knows something. 772 00:52:43,601 --> 00:52:47,532 You're supposed to be in New York. You're famous. Everyone there will recognize you. 773 00:52:47,700 --> 00:52:51,052 Not to worry. Joel will come up with something to make us blend. 774 00:52:51,223 --> 00:52:54,225 - He's a born blender. - I don't believe this. 775 00:52:55,226 --> 00:52:57,399 You guys are lucky that Janet had to work late... 776 00:52:57,564 --> 00:53:01,014 ...because if she was here, she would not put up with any of this. 777 00:53:01,662 --> 00:53:04,829 Now, Janet... Janet runs a tight ship. 778 00:53:07,331 --> 00:53:12,736 I love shopping in Vegas. Where else can you find a 24-hour wiggery? Well, to work. 779 00:53:15,081 --> 00:53:17,090 Hey, hey! That's my room! Hey! 780 00:53:17,515 --> 00:53:18,464 Hey! 781 00:53:26,450 --> 00:53:29,681 - I never would have suspected. - What? 782 00:53:29,844 --> 00:53:32,781 You as a dainty-travel-pillow type. 783 00:53:32,951 --> 00:53:35,408 - It's hypoallergenic. - Oh, really? 784 00:53:35,577 --> 00:53:38,711 - And what are you allergic to? - Besides you? 785 00:53:38,876 --> 00:53:43,736 Shellfish, cats, dogs, any type of animal dander... 786 00:53:43,904 --> 00:53:45,399 ...dairy products, dust... 787 00:53:45,569 --> 00:53:48,888 - You should be in a plastic bubble. - Plastic. 788 00:53:49,572 --> 00:53:52,870 - That explains it. - Explains what? 789 00:53:53,031 --> 00:53:55,783 - Why you're so angry. - I'm not angry, I'm allergic. 790 00:53:55,945 --> 00:53:58,249 All I was saying was that it just, you know... 791 00:53:58,411 --> 00:54:02,188 ...couldn't have been easy being a kid sick like that all the time. 792 00:54:02,766 --> 00:54:08,684 I mean, not being able to have a dog or a cat or ice cream or dust. 793 00:54:10,036 --> 00:54:11,892 It wasn't bad. 794 00:54:12,053 --> 00:54:15,668 - Really? - I got to hang out with my dad a lot. 795 00:54:16,377 --> 00:54:21,716 He was a sportswriter, so we got to watch all the games on TV together... 796 00:54:21,885 --> 00:54:24,124 ...and he taught me how to box. 797 00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:26,969 Taught me how to take care of myself. 798 00:54:30,757 --> 00:54:34,404 Well, I'm sure he was very proud of you. 799 00:54:35,913 --> 00:54:37,572 Was? 800 00:54:41,004 --> 00:54:44,389 Yeah, I read on your file that he died before you became an agent. 801 00:54:44,559 --> 00:54:48,304 - You read my file? - I had to make sure you weren't crazy. 802 00:54:48,755 --> 00:54:53,515 - Yeah. Turns out you can't trust a file. - Yeah, well, I guess you can't. 803 00:54:53,686 --> 00:54:57,912 I thought I would've liked a tough tomboy from Jersey whose mom was an agent. 804 00:54:58,234 --> 00:55:01,083 - You read my file? - Worse. 805 00:55:01,244 --> 00:55:02,423 Your book. 806 00:55:03,742 --> 00:55:05,718 Had to make sure you weren't crazy. 807 00:55:05,888 --> 00:55:09,152 Turns out you can't trust a book. 808 00:55:12,676 --> 00:55:15,013 Yeah, they brought in this writer... 809 00:55:15,463 --> 00:55:19,360 ...who managed to turn the entire story into some fairy tale. 810 00:55:19,530 --> 00:55:22,315 In the first draft, he made it sound like my mother died... 811 00:55:22,477 --> 00:55:26,670 ...single-handedly saving the country, when all it was was just, you know, a... 812 00:55:26,832 --> 00:55:29,704 It was just a drug bust gone bad. 813 00:55:33,525 --> 00:55:34,736 Sorry. 814 00:55:36,407 --> 00:55:38,416 Sorry about your dad. 815 00:55:42,011 --> 00:55:44,828 But I'm mostly sorry you had to read that book. 816 00:55:45,854 --> 00:55:48,158 I like the pictures, though. 817 00:55:48,737 --> 00:55:50,429 Oh, really? 818 00:55:50,595 --> 00:55:54,209 Yeah, especially that one with that guy. What was his name? 819 00:55:54,757 --> 00:55:56,352 Which one? 820 00:55:56,519 --> 00:55:59,870 The agent, the one that was in the pageant with you. 821 00:56:01,772 --> 00:56:03,661 Eric Matthews. 822 00:56:03,885 --> 00:56:06,571 Yeah. He was hot. 823 00:56:08,337 --> 00:56:09,931 I guess. 824 00:56:12,084 --> 00:56:13,645 Night, Hart. 825 00:56:16,503 --> 00:56:18,260 Good night, Fuller. 826 00:56:24,189 --> 00:56:27,574 Foreman, we're in. Approaching target. 827 00:56:33,764 --> 00:56:36,614 Welcome to Prestige Assisted Living. How can I help you? 828 00:56:36,774 --> 00:56:38,980 Hi, I'm Joel Flammenbaum, and this is my mother. 829 00:56:39,144 --> 00:56:43,457 Ida. Ida Flammenbaum. How are you? This is my lovely nurse, Rosie. 830 00:56:43,628 --> 00:56:45,190 - Hello. - She's not very social... 831 00:56:45,358 --> 00:56:49,551 ...but she gives a superb enema if you're feeling a little clogged up. 832 00:56:50,385 --> 00:56:52,394 Are you interested in touring our facilities? 833 00:56:52,563 --> 00:56:55,412 Oh, yes, we are very interested. I can't wait to get rid of her. 834 00:56:55,574 --> 00:57:00,596 Oh, don't you listen to him. He's a mama's boy. Come here, cutie. Let me fix your tie. 835 00:57:00,761 --> 00:57:02,519 - He's such a mama's boy. - Mom, not now. 836 00:57:02,683 --> 00:57:06,330 Now, that is a mama's boy's face. That's a mama's boy's face. 837 00:57:06,750 --> 00:57:09,087 Do you have a euthanasia program? 838 00:57:09,633 --> 00:57:13,312 We just need to fill out some forms. If you'll just give me one minute. 839 00:57:13,699 --> 00:57:14,878 Keep the receptionist busy. 840 00:57:15,045 --> 00:57:18,364 We're gonna ask some questions, assuming we can find anyone that can hear. 841 00:57:18,535 --> 00:57:21,286 Hold my purse. Let's roll, Rosie. 842 00:57:21,994 --> 00:57:25,575 Hello there. I'm Ida Flammenbaum. I am new. 843 00:57:25,741 --> 00:57:27,848 Well, I'm not new. 844 00:57:28,015 --> 00:57:30,285 - And you are? - Buster Harrison. 845 00:57:30,449 --> 00:57:36,116 Oh, Buster. Is it true that Stan Fields' mother is residing here? 846 00:57:36,277 --> 00:57:38,963 Yes, she's right over there. 847 00:57:40,024 --> 00:57:43,956 Carol? This is Ida. She wanted to meet you. 848 00:57:45,276 --> 00:57:51,129 Oh, Buster. Oh, Buster, I'm so sorry. Give Buster one of your famous foot massages. 849 00:57:51,297 --> 00:57:55,010 Hey. While I'm at it, how about one of my famous enemas? 850 00:57:55,172 --> 00:57:57,028 Can you get two of them in a day? 851 00:57:57,189 --> 00:58:00,225 Mrs. Fields, Mrs. Fields. 852 00:58:00,616 --> 00:58:02,887 Sounds like the cookie. It's very funny. 853 00:58:03,050 --> 00:58:05,637 Not after you've heard it for 30 years, Ida. 854 00:58:05,804 --> 00:58:07,945 I'm sure. I just wanted to come over here... 855 00:58:08,110 --> 00:58:11,790 ...and tell you how very sorry I am about the kidnapping. 856 00:58:11,953 --> 00:58:15,184 Oh, yeah, poor, poor Stanley. 857 00:58:15,508 --> 00:58:17,582 But he had it coming. 858 00:58:18,742 --> 00:58:20,150 Really? 859 00:58:20,312 --> 00:58:24,209 Well, from what I hear from everyone, he's such a mensch. 860 00:58:24,378 --> 00:58:29,401 - I mean, who would wanna hurt him? - Well, you know, he loved the sluts.