1 00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:27,231 Transcribed by McFist, 2004 2 00:00:47,199 --> 00:00:48,231 Fuck ! 3 00:00:50,661 --> 00:00:51,692 Hi, Amy 4 00:00:52,746 --> 00:00:53,944 Hey Amy, got any crystal? 5 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:56,120 Fuck off 6 00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:58,706 Shit, who pissed in your Fruit Loops? 7 00:00:59,211 --> 00:01:01,749 Peanut, why don't you go passionately fuck yourself? 8 00:01:13,642 --> 00:01:15,053 Yuk, you're all sweaty. 9 00:01:15,769 --> 00:01:17,144 Whatcha lookin' for? 10 00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:19,557 My skull lighter. 11 00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:23,100 I swear, if it's missing, I'll slit my wrists. 12 00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:27,189 Now that would be a great loss to the human race. 13 00:01:28,448 --> 00:01:30,026 Sit and spin. 14 00:01:38,542 --> 00:01:41,875 That guy has the intelligence of a stool sample. 15 00:01:43,004 --> 00:01:44,333 He's OK. 16 00:01:47,676 --> 00:01:49,752 I think he's got brain damage. 17 00:01:50,345 --> 00:01:52,005 But he's OK. 18 00:01:54,599 --> 00:01:58,644 This place is so fucking boring I wish someone would burn it to the ground. 19 00:02:00,814 --> 00:02:02,687 Let's just get the fuck out of here. 20 00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:10,942 Wanna go to Heaven? 21 00:02:24,962 --> 00:02:26,670 Go ahead and stick it inside. 22 00:02:30,092 --> 00:02:32,168 Jordan, put your dick in me. 23 00:02:33,638 --> 00:02:34,883 I'm tryin'... 24 00:02:48,944 --> 00:02:50,189 I'm sorry. 25 00:02:51,530 --> 00:02:52,728 I just... 26 00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:53,938 What? 27 00:03:06,545 --> 00:03:09,250 I'm afraid of catching AIDS. 28 00:03:10,716 --> 00:03:12,755 But we're both virgins. 29 00:03:27,566 --> 00:03:29,854 Where's the fuckin cigarettes? 30 00:03:43,331 --> 00:03:45,205 I dunno what it is, but... 31 00:03:45,709 --> 00:03:47,535 I feel really weird tonight 32 00:03:49,421 --> 00:03:51,497 Like something's gonna happen 33 00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:53,378 Me too. 34 00:03:59,222 --> 00:04:00,385 Do you love me? 35 00:04:01,599 --> 00:04:02,975 Yeah. Totally. 36 00:04:04,686 --> 00:04:05,765 Why? 37 00:04:07,188 --> 00:04:08,433 It's just... 38 00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:11,687 "I love you" can mean a lot of things, like 39 00:04:11,859 --> 00:04:14,813 "You'll do till someone better comes along" 40 00:04:16,030 --> 00:04:18,486 "I can't describe how I really feel ..." 41 00:04:18,699 --> 00:04:21,155 "But I know I'm supposed to say this" 42 00:04:22,870 --> 00:04:24,151 or "Shut up", 43 00:04:25,456 --> 00:04:26,915 "I'm watchin' TV"... 44 00:04:27,583 --> 00:04:28,959 Are you stoned? 45 00:04:36,258 --> 00:04:39,509 I think sometimes this city is sucking away my soul. 46 00:04:40,262 --> 00:04:43,429 Like yesterday I was stuck in this humongous traffic jam 47 00:04:43,599 --> 00:04:45,473 on the 405 freeway 48 00:04:46,727 --> 00:04:50,855 and I just couldn't wait to get to the dead bodies lying there on the bloody asphalt. 49 00:04:51,857 --> 00:04:55,558 All I cared about was getting out and moving again... 50 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:57,482 I know 51 00:04:58,530 --> 00:05:02,149 I feel like a gerbil smothering in Richard Gere's butthole. 52 00:05:14,129 --> 00:05:16,620 There just is no place for us in this world. 53 00:05:22,846 --> 00:05:24,388 Hey, get off my fucking car! 54 00:05:26,641 --> 00:05:27,804 Wake up, cocksucker! 55 00:05:28,018 --> 00:05:29,049 It's time to die. 56 00:05:34,441 --> 00:05:35,852 Yo, bitch, would you just go?! 57 00:05:36,151 --> 00:05:38,689 Get your fucking hands off my car! 58 00:05:39,404 --> 00:05:40,567 Goddamn motherfucker 59 00:05:48,788 --> 00:05:50,911 I swear, if there is one dent in the door 60 00:05:51,124 --> 00:05:52,784 one scratch in the paint... 61 00:05:52,959 --> 00:05:55,248 What the fuck're you talking about? 62 00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:56,084 This car is older 63 00:05:56,963 --> 00:06:00,830 than you and your jaibait boyfriend here 64 00:06:01,551 --> 00:06:02,500 combined 65 00:06:02,719 --> 00:06:03,917 I love this car. 66 00:06:05,096 --> 00:06:07,587 Oh my god, you're bleeding all over the upholstery! 67 00:06:08,099 --> 00:06:10,341 Jesus, don't potty in your panties about it. 68 00:06:10,518 --> 00:06:12,807 Jordan, he is bleeding all over my upholstery! 69 00:06:12,979 --> 00:06:15,552 It's OK Amy, he's cleanin' it up. 70 00:06:16,732 --> 00:06:17,931 You alright, man? 71 00:06:19,277 --> 00:06:22,313 Yeah. I'm totally into getting the fuck beat out of me 72 00:06:22,488 --> 00:06:24,564 and slicin' up my own fuckin leg... 73 00:06:25,074 --> 00:06:26,699 You are really fuckin rude. Y'know that? 74 00:06:27,576 --> 00:06:29,236 Hey, that's my shirt. 75 00:06:30,246 --> 00:06:31,076 Oh... sorry 76 00:06:31,247 --> 00:06:32,278 It's cool. 77 00:06:32,498 --> 00:06:33,529 Go ahead 78 00:06:34,125 --> 00:06:34,789 Use it 79 00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:36,868 That is so gross. 80 00:06:37,086 --> 00:06:38,461 What's your name, anyway 81 00:06:46,512 --> 00:06:47,674 Xavier 82 00:06:48,681 --> 00:06:49,594 What? 83 00:06:52,101 --> 00:06:55,137 That's the stupidest fuckin name I've ever heard. 84 00:06:55,604 --> 00:06:57,680 Is it cool if I just call you "X"? 85 00:06:58,399 --> 00:07:00,724 I can't really pronounce all that... 86 00:07:01,735 --> 00:07:03,692 Only if I get to call you "Nutlicker" 87 00:07:03,946 --> 00:07:06,104 If bullshit were music, you'd be a big brass band 88 00:07:06,323 --> 00:07:09,692 What's with your lady here, Jordo? Terminal PMS? 89 00:07:09,910 --> 00:07:11,902 - Fuck you. - No. Fuck you 90 00:07:13,956 --> 00:07:15,533 Fuck you, you stinkin' kootch. 91 00:07:16,041 --> 00:07:18,496 Fuck you, you big wet bearded clam! 92 00:07:22,381 --> 00:07:24,420 Get out of my fucking car! 93 00:07:26,051 --> 00:07:28,293 C'mon, Amy. He didn't mean it. 94 00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,429 He's just jokin' around... 95 00:07:30,722 --> 00:07:31,671 Right X? 96 00:07:31,848 --> 00:07:32,762 Tell her... 97 00:07:32,933 --> 00:07:35,969 Yeah, Amy. Don't get your uterus all tied in a knot. 98 00:07:36,144 --> 00:07:38,813 Listen, gism-breath. I want you out of my fucking car 99 00:07:39,022 --> 00:07:39,852 right this fucking second. 100 00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:43,940 I'm not kidding, Scumfuck. 101 00:07:44,110 --> 00:07:45,818 Get. Lost. 102 00:07:53,077 --> 00:07:54,109 You're, uh... 103 00:07:54,829 --> 00:07:56,573 Giving me an erection. 104 00:07:56,831 --> 00:07:58,076 You're repugnant. 105 00:08:01,294 --> 00:08:04,081 Ok, Miss America. You win... 106 00:08:09,052 --> 00:08:10,711 Beam me up, Scotty. 107 00:08:14,724 --> 00:08:15,554 Later, gator. 108 00:08:18,102 --> 00:08:19,431 Hey, what about my shirt? 109 00:08:28,654 --> 00:08:29,935 Thanks, X. 110 00:08:30,531 --> 00:08:32,274 My pleasure, Nutlicker. 111 00:08:32,616 --> 00:08:34,276 Will you marry me? 112 00:08:36,662 --> 00:08:38,619 Hey you don't have to decide immediately... 113 00:08:39,039 --> 00:08:41,530 Hey! You think about it 114 00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:43,032 Sleep on it, honey!... 115 00:08:43,419 --> 00:08:45,127 I swear, Amy 116 00:08:46,171 --> 00:08:47,963 You can be so harsh. 117 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:51,080 I dunno, 118 00:08:51,885 --> 00:08:53,166 he seemed cool. 119 00:08:54,263 --> 00:08:55,721 Kinda strange maybe... 120 00:08:55,931 --> 00:08:57,888 He was an anus-face. 121 00:08:59,476 --> 00:09:01,718 What were we talkin' about the other day, 122 00:09:02,187 --> 00:09:04,346 About trying to be less judgemental of people?... 123 00:09:04,565 --> 00:09:05,763 Fuck that. 124 00:09:09,111 --> 00:09:10,688 I'm starvin'. 125 00:09:11,530 --> 00:09:13,818 Stop at the next QuickieMart, 'K? 126 00:09:25,877 --> 00:09:27,040 Sure y'don't want anything? 127 00:09:28,213 --> 00:09:29,790 I'm speeding, remember? 128 00:09:34,970 --> 00:09:36,049 Hey. No smoking here 129 00:09:47,023 --> 00:09:49,265 Hey, hey, girlie...you pick up. 130 00:09:50,193 --> 00:09:51,687 Eat my fuck. 131 00:09:55,323 --> 00:09:56,734 Pick up, girlie 132 00:10:01,913 --> 00:10:04,201 I'm so sure 133 00:10:11,756 --> 00:10:12,918 We happy? 134 00:10:28,481 --> 00:10:30,354 6 dollar, 66 cent 135 00:10:34,028 --> 00:10:35,142 That's weird. 136 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,154 Must've fallen out in the car... 137 00:10:39,867 --> 00:10:41,147 I'll pay you right back... 138 00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:49,199 oh fuck... 139 00:10:49,710 --> 00:10:50,706 ...The Scumfuck. 140 00:10:53,672 --> 00:10:55,914 You fuckin kook. We left our wallets in the car. 141 00:10:56,091 --> 00:10:57,289 Let me just run out and-- 142 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:02,257 What're you gonna do, shoot us? 143 00:11:02,806 --> 00:11:05,095 I mean, what is this, some kind of joke - like "Candid Camera" or something? 144 00:11:14,443 --> 00:11:15,308 Scram. 145 00:11:15,736 --> 00:11:17,360 What the fuck d'you think you're doing? 146 00:11:18,071 --> 00:11:19,565 Saving your fucking life. 147 00:11:19,739 --> 00:11:21,364 Did I ask you for any big favors, huh? 148 00:11:21,950 --> 00:11:23,575 Would you please just get the fuck out of here? 149 00:11:24,077 --> 00:11:26,615 Jordan, he is getting us into Deep Shit. 150 00:11:36,089 --> 00:11:37,417 Would you just get the hell out of here? 151 00:11:39,634 --> 00:11:40,381 Come on! 152 00:12:26,347 --> 00:12:27,889 ...Would you just fuckin chill??! 153 00:12:29,266 --> 00:12:30,180 ...his head. His head, man. 154 00:12:31,393 --> 00:12:32,852 It was talkin'... 155 00:12:35,689 --> 00:12:37,314 I think, we're probably cool. 156 00:12:37,483 --> 00:12:41,433 Imean, that weirdo gook lady with the machete probably doesn't even speak english... 157 00:12:41,820 --> 00:12:43,065 I think everything's gonna be fine. 158 00:12:43,238 --> 00:12:45,231 What the fuck d'you mean "everything's gonna be fine"? 159 00:12:45,407 --> 00:12:48,077 You just blew somebody's fucking head off! 160 00:12:50,621 --> 00:12:53,076 You know, you gotta be the little pessimist all the time, don't you? 161 00:12:53,248 --> 00:12:55,704 Little Miss Gloom and Doom. Well, fuck you. 162 00:12:56,001 --> 00:12:59,370 You were there, you were both there with me... 163 00:12:59,963 --> 00:13:01,588 and read my lips 164 00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,626 we're in this together. 165 00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:06,672 I fry, we all fry... 166 00:13:06,845 --> 00:13:09,632 Blow it out your crusty rectum, loser. 167 00:13:09,806 --> 00:13:11,514 We don't know you, we barely just met you, 168 00:13:11,683 --> 00:13:14,684 and we certainly don't like you. You're fucking crazy 169 00:13:16,938 --> 00:13:18,682 ...and you're ugly besides. 170 00:13:20,442 --> 00:13:21,984 I love you too, darling. 171 00:13:23,028 --> 00:13:24,605 His fuckin head... 172 00:13:25,405 --> 00:13:27,563 it was in the relish 'n' onions 'n' 173 00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:29,901 it was talkin'... 174 00:13:34,122 --> 00:13:36,328 I mean, don't y'think you oughta call your mom or something? 175 00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:39,080 Tomorrow. 176 00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:44,338 What? Mommy and Daddy'll be all worried about their baby girl? 177 00:13:45,216 --> 00:13:48,301 My mom used to be a heroin addict; now she's a Scientologist. 178 00:13:48,469 --> 00:13:49,880 My old man's dead. 179 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:53,511 Oh, sorry. 180 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:58,134 I'm not. He was a bloated, alkie pig who was always trying to molest me. 181 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:01,387 What 'bout you? 182 00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,733 My folks live in Encino. 183 00:14:19,041 --> 00:14:20,998 My mom shot my dad 184 00:14:21,168 --> 00:14:23,457 then killed herself when I was twelve. 185 00:14:31,011 --> 00:14:32,589 I'm taking a bath. 186 00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:55,568 I love this show, man. 187 00:15:01,541 --> 00:15:03,249 S'how Long've you 'n' 188 00:15:03,752 --> 00:15:06,457 Princess Leia been a happy little couple? 189 00:15:07,631 --> 00:15:08,745 Fuck 190 00:15:10,008 --> 00:15:11,752 a long time 191 00:15:14,638 --> 00:15:15,918 Three months 192 00:15:17,349 --> 00:15:18,463 No way. 193 00:15:19,976 --> 00:15:23,179 Most of my relationships, they last about three days 194 00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:26,394 or... 195 00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:28,562 three hours. 196 00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:33,360 Yeah, relationships bite. 197 00:15:38,703 --> 00:15:40,363 Wow. Righteous tattoo. 198 00:15:41,289 --> 00:15:42,202 I been wantin' one forever but 199 00:15:44,375 --> 00:15:47,329 I can't decide on a design I like enough to, 200 00:15:48,838 --> 00:15:49,917 y'know 201 00:15:50,798 --> 00:15:53,752 wear on my body for like the rest of my life. 202 00:15:55,386 --> 00:15:57,094 It's a big commitment. 203 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,598 I sure do like yours alot though... 204 00:16:07,106 --> 00:16:08,731 I gotta take a whiz. 205 00:16:22,872 --> 00:16:24,070 I must piss. 206 00:17:22,514 --> 00:17:25,847 Now some of this next footage may be too gruesome for some audience members 207 00:17:26,017 --> 00:17:28,093 so viewer discretion is advised... 208 00:17:28,937 --> 00:17:30,561 Police say that the severed head 209 00:17:30,814 --> 00:17:34,313 of QuickieMart proprietor, Nguyen Kok-Suk, 210 00:17:34,484 --> 00:17:37,105 was still talking when it was discovered, 211 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:41,104 at approximately 2:39 am, by a Jerseymaid deliveryman... 212 00:17:41,407 --> 00:17:45,535 ...And the San Fernando Valley Sheriffs Department is still investigating 213 00:17:45,703 --> 00:17:49,831 the bizarre, ritualistic slaying of his wife and children as well... 214 00:17:49,999 --> 00:17:52,150 It appears that the shopkeeper's wife, 215 00:17:52,168 --> 00:17:54,624 was so distraught over the slaying of her husband 216 00:17:54,837 --> 00:17:57,542 that she took the lives of her children, disemboweling them... 217 00:17:57,757 --> 00:17:59,334 Wait just a second there... 218 00:17:59,759 --> 00:18:00,921 disemboweling them? 219 00:18:01,093 --> 00:18:03,715 Yes, Chet, dis-em-boweling them 220 00:18:03,888 --> 00:18:08,301 before taking the knife to herself in some kind of unusual suicide rite. 221 00:18:09,101 --> 00:18:12,885 The police so far have only one clue to the identity 222 00:18:13,105 --> 00:18:15,312 of Mr. Suk's murderer or murderers... 223 00:18:15,566 --> 00:18:17,559 This skull earring 224 00:18:17,985 --> 00:18:22,149 the type sold most frequently in rock'n'roll paraphernalia shops 225 00:18:22,323 --> 00:18:25,608 often worn by homosexuals, satanists, 226 00:18:26,035 --> 00:18:28,277 and members of other dangerous cult groups... 227 00:18:28,495 --> 00:18:31,532 Hold it, Sandy.Correct me if I'm wrong, 228 00:18:31,707 --> 00:18:34,459 but don't lots of people, especially trendy teenagers 229 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:38,080 following the latest "fad", kids who are otherwise perfectly "normal", 230 00:18:38,297 --> 00:18:42,247 don't they wear earrings similar to the one shown here? 231 00:18:42,676 --> 00:18:44,087 Yes, well, Chet, 232 00:18:44,511 --> 00:18:45,922 that is a problem... 233 00:19:58,584 --> 00:20:00,411 Smooth move, ex-lax. 234 00:20:01,045 --> 00:20:02,373 Pinch the bridge of your nose. 235 00:20:04,257 --> 00:20:05,455 Pinch it there... 236 00:20:07,927 --> 00:20:09,172 I'm so fuckin hungry 237 00:20:09,387 --> 00:20:10,382 I can eat my leg. 238 00:20:10,554 --> 00:20:12,428 How 'bout a little foodular action? 239 00:20:15,184 --> 00:20:17,141 Welcome to Carnoburger 240 00:20:17,645 --> 00:20:19,139 May I have your orders please? 241 00:20:19,396 --> 00:20:21,603 Gimme the Slop-O-Rama Bellybuster 242 00:20:22,024 --> 00:20:23,187 no onions 243 00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:25,482 A Passion Fruit Slurpster 244 00:20:26,237 --> 00:20:28,692 and aside Curly Q fries 245 00:20:29,698 --> 00:20:32,023 I have some Barbecue Beef Chunks 246 00:20:32,618 --> 00:20:34,741 Some Fried Cheeseballs 247 00:20:35,412 --> 00:20:36,741 And an Evian 248 00:20:38,457 --> 00:20:40,699 Diet coke. Extra large. 249 00:20:41,502 --> 00:20:43,541 She never eats when she does crystal 250 00:20:43,879 --> 00:20:44,543 Shut up 251 00:20:44,796 --> 00:20:45,792 That's be all? 252 00:20:49,051 --> 00:20:50,924 I've lost my earring 253 00:20:51,887 --> 00:20:54,425 That'd be...6 $ 66. Please pull forward to the window 254 00:20:55,265 --> 00:21:00,472 Jordan, I'm sure. We're like in this total predicament and you're worried about losing a fucking earring? 255 00:21:01,188 --> 00:21:03,180 It's got sentimental value 256 00:21:03,857 --> 00:21:07,226 My mom gave it to me when I finally passed algebra/trig 257 00:21:09,529 --> 00:21:13,278 You can relax your royal sphincter muscle, your highness. 258 00:21:13,450 --> 00:21:16,237 The crazy machette lady offed herself and her kids 259 00:21:16,411 --> 00:21:18,202 so there are no witnesses left. 260 00:21:18,371 --> 00:21:19,201 What? 261 00:21:19,372 --> 00:21:21,910 They're all dead. It was on the news. 262 00:21:22,292 --> 00:21:25,376 You're so full of sheep excrement it's not even funny 263 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:29,420 I saw it on TV, so it's gotta be true, right? 264 00:21:31,009 --> 00:21:32,254 Yeah 265 00:21:32,886 --> 00:21:35,341 what if dead guy's head is still talking? 266 00:21:36,306 --> 00:21:38,298 and he tell the cops everything? 267 00:21:42,895 --> 00:21:44,224 Grossify me 268 00:21:45,273 --> 00:21:46,933 Six sixty-six 269 00:21:49,569 --> 00:21:50,518 Sunshine ? 270 00:21:50,820 --> 00:21:51,983 Gimme some money 271 00:21:52,196 --> 00:21:53,690 Sunshine, is that you? 272 00:21:54,031 --> 00:21:56,320 I think you must've me mixed up with someone else 273 00:21:56,742 --> 00:21:59,031 Gonad-face, give me some money 274 00:21:59,287 --> 00:22:00,615 Don't lie to me now 275 00:22:02,748 --> 00:22:04,029 I know it's you 276 00:22:04,292 --> 00:22:07,660 Look, you fucking chunky pumpkinhead! I don't know what the fuck you're talking about! 277 00:22:08,671 --> 00:22:10,498 Would you just give me some fucking money? 278 00:22:10,715 --> 00:22:12,339 You said you loved me... 279 00:22:13,467 --> 00:22:15,543 You said, you'd never leave me... 280 00:22:15,803 --> 00:22:18,472 It this Night of the Living Brain-dead? 281 00:22:18,931 --> 00:22:22,051 Wake up and smell the cappucino, geek 282 00:22:22,226 --> 00:22:24,717 I don't know you, I've never fucking seen you before, 283 00:22:24,895 --> 00:22:27,267 I don't know who the fuck this 'Sunshine' is! 284 00:22:27,690 --> 00:22:29,314 You little whore 285 00:22:30,609 --> 00:22:32,400 You broke my fucking heart! 286 00:22:32,653 --> 00:22:34,277 Come on, Sunshine 287 00:22:34,696 --> 00:22:36,570 give the poor guy a break 288 00:22:36,740 --> 00:22:38,448 Shut the fuck up 289 00:22:38,617 --> 00:22:41,452 and give me some motherfucking money! 290 00:22:43,580 --> 00:22:44,991 Ain't it nice? 291 00:22:45,916 --> 00:22:48,870 I figure, if I can't have you, no one will 292 00:22:56,968 --> 00:22:59,424 Hey Bartholomew, what's going on? 293 00:23:04,226 --> 00:23:05,684 The bitch 294 00:23:07,562 --> 00:23:09,140 I will find her 295 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:11,436 and I will kill her 296 00:23:12,025 --> 00:23:15,476 Is it fucking full moon or what? What the fuck is going on? 297 00:23:15,945 --> 00:23:19,065 You shouldn't have broken his little old achey heart like that, Sunshine 298 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,656 Cram it, ass-crack We wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you 299 00:23:23,286 --> 00:23:25,611 Mellowize thyself, fishwich 300 00:23:26,831 --> 00:23:29,702 Ever considered cuttin' down on your crystal intake a bit? 301 00:23:29,876 --> 00:23:30,955 Cripes 302 00:23:32,086 --> 00:23:33,035 I have had it with you! 303 00:23:34,589 --> 00:23:35,869 Don't worry, Amy 304 00:23:36,341 --> 00:23:38,464 We're here, we're safe, 305 00:23:38,676 --> 00:23:40,087 everything is cool 306 00:23:42,472 --> 00:23:45,473 Jordan, I just wanna go home and forget this whole entire nightmare 307 00:23:46,768 --> 00:23:49,009 It's alright, Amy, really 308 00:23:49,854 --> 00:23:52,771 In the morning, we'll figure it all out 309 00:23:56,819 --> 00:23:58,017 Yeah, sure 310 00:24:03,242 --> 00:24:04,784 I'm gonna get ready for bed 311 00:24:07,747 --> 00:24:11,080 brush your teeth before you turn in, otherwise you'll have cheese-breath 312 00:24:20,384 --> 00:24:23,005 I get the feeling Amy doesn't like me very much 313 00:24:24,305 --> 00:24:26,096 Don't take it personal, X 314 00:24:27,057 --> 00:24:28,433 She's just a little... 315 00:24:29,977 --> 00:24:32,053 aloof, till you get to know her 316 00:25:52,475 --> 00:25:54,882 I've never seen a tattoo there before 317 00:25:59,857 --> 00:26:00,972 Touch it 318 00:26:03,194 --> 00:26:04,189 Go ahead 319 00:26:05,321 --> 00:26:06,483 Indulge 320 00:26:17,207 --> 00:26:18,750 What's it a picture of? 321 00:26:21,879 --> 00:26:23,124 Can't you tell? 322 00:26:25,591 --> 00:26:26,836 It's Jesus 323 00:26:30,471 --> 00:26:33,507 Why the hell d'you have Jesus tattooed on your dick? 324 00:26:36,768 --> 00:26:38,642 So people, when I'm boning 'em, 325 00:26:39,271 --> 00:26:40,682 can say 326 00:26:40,856 --> 00:26:42,267 "I've got Jesus 327 00:26:42,858 --> 00:26:44,269 inside me" 328 00:26:55,078 --> 00:26:57,996 I'm gonna vacuum your tongue right out of your face 329 00:27:12,303 --> 00:27:13,299 Wait 330 00:27:19,727 --> 00:27:20,759 I'm gonna come 331 00:27:20,937 --> 00:27:21,933 Already? 332 00:27:22,647 --> 00:27:25,055 Don't worry, I'm good for about six times a night 333 00:27:27,986 --> 00:27:29,231 Four at least 334 00:27:29,654 --> 00:27:31,563 How 'bout you? You anywhere close? 335 00:27:33,783 --> 00:27:34,898 Sort of 336 00:27:37,620 --> 00:27:39,660 I can't hold it much longer 337 00:28:22,373 --> 00:28:23,618 Where is she? 338 00:28:24,625 --> 00:28:26,617 Where is my little dandelion flower? 339 00:28:28,629 --> 00:28:30,337 Tell me where she is or 340 00:28:30,547 --> 00:28:34,379 you'll gonna have a mangled stump in place of that fairy face o' yours 341 00:28:38,764 --> 00:28:40,174 Tell me where she is, 342 00:28:40,349 --> 00:28:43,058 you fucking slimy piece of queerbait! 343 00:28:43,185 --> 00:28:44,928 I'm right here, lovebucket 344 00:28:49,024 --> 00:28:51,729 My pearly-doo drops rose 345 00:28:52,652 --> 00:28:55,060 I missed you so much, my darling 346 00:29:01,870 --> 00:29:04,491 You know I could never live without you, my bumpkins 347 00:29:04,956 --> 00:29:07,328 I've been dreaming of this moment for months 348 00:29:14,799 --> 00:29:15,795 Come on! 349 00:29:16,301 --> 00:29:17,415 My pants 350 00:29:21,556 --> 00:29:23,595 My babycakes! My cuddlemuffin! 351 00:29:23,766 --> 00:29:25,676 Please, please, don't leave me again! 352 00:29:26,686 --> 00:29:28,892 Get a fuckin life, dogbreath 353 00:29:31,816 --> 00:29:32,931 Come back! 354 00:29:33,234 --> 00:29:34,562 Babycake! 355 00:29:46,497 --> 00:29:49,948 Ever feel like reality is more twisted than dreams? 356 00:29:53,879 --> 00:29:54,911 Not again 357 00:30:00,386 --> 00:30:01,631 My fucking arm! 358 00:30:02,847 --> 00:30:04,222 I want it back 359 00:30:05,432 --> 00:30:06,512 Son of a bitch 360 00:30:06,934 --> 00:30:08,013 Jam on it, girlfriend! 361 00:30:08,727 --> 00:30:11,218 Get that fucking thing out of my car! 362 00:30:11,605 --> 00:30:13,479 I'm trying! What d'you think-- 363 00:30:19,154 --> 00:30:20,696 God fucking damnit, Amy! 364 00:30:24,368 --> 00:30:26,906 Would you kindly tromp on the fucking gas pedal?! 365 00:30:36,463 --> 00:30:38,088 Sunshine 366 00:30:38,715 --> 00:30:41,337 You are my one true love 367 00:30:48,892 --> 00:30:52,640 What is with you? Do you have to kill someone every fuckin time we stop the car?! 368 00:30:53,063 --> 00:30:57,357 Well, pardon me for rescuing your ingrate ass twice in the same night, 369 00:30:58,193 --> 00:31:00,518 you fuckin furry tuna taco 370 00:31:00,695 --> 00:31:02,320 You don't care about anything, do you? 371 00:31:02,489 --> 00:31:05,027 You have no guilt, no remorse? 372 00:31:05,283 --> 00:31:08,734 You murdered two people tonight Doesn't that faze you at all? 373 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:11,409 Yeah, I'm bummed 374 00:31:12,499 --> 00:31:13,661 To the max 375 00:31:15,335 --> 00:31:17,078 But it's not like I've never done it before 376 00:31:17,253 --> 00:31:17,917 Excuse me? 377 00:31:20,340 --> 00:31:21,585 How many people've you..? 378 00:31:22,634 --> 00:31:23,713 Just a few 379 00:31:24,552 --> 00:31:26,046 and all of 'em deserved it 380 00:31:26,679 --> 00:31:28,221 or wore a uniform 381 00:31:29,932 --> 00:31:31,261 Like my first, 382 00:31:31,976 --> 00:31:34,301 this ugly sow of a parking cop 383 00:31:34,479 --> 00:31:38,725 Y'know how they're so full of themselves, they got their fuckin badge, they think they're all bad 384 00:31:39,358 --> 00:31:41,232 Well, this one lardass cunt tickets me 385 00:31:41,444 --> 00:31:42,986 for bein' in a red zone 386 00:31:43,196 --> 00:31:44,903 for like ten seconds 387 00:31:45,323 --> 00:31:49,735 So I'm there in the street arguin' with her 'n' she's just smiling away, writin' me up 388 00:31:49,952 --> 00:31:51,612 I grabbed the bitch by her kinky 'fro 389 00:31:51,787 --> 00:31:55,121 and started poundin' her head into the hood of her nice white 390 00:31:55,332 --> 00:31:56,495 Parking Pig-mobile 391 00:31:56,667 --> 00:31:57,533 and then, 392 00:31:57,752 --> 00:32:02,081 I slammed the door on her skull a buncha times until she was dead 393 00:32:02,256 --> 00:32:03,419 La mort 394 00:32:03,591 --> 00:32:04,622 History 395 00:32:04,842 --> 00:32:06,799 God, would take a reality pill 396 00:32:07,177 --> 00:32:08,720 Hey, I still got the scar 397 00:32:12,391 --> 00:32:15,012 Teethmarks from where the bitch bit me 398 00:32:17,855 --> 00:32:19,135 I tell you, 399 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:23,022 those cops are like goddamned savage animals 400 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:56,798 ...and some nachos 401 00:33:09,489 --> 00:33:12,158 That'd be six sixty six 402 00:33:16,287 --> 00:33:19,241 All hail the Coffee and Cigarette God 403 00:33:20,959 --> 00:33:22,239 Where's my change? 404 00:33:22,418 --> 00:33:23,699 Drop dead, dunghead 405 00:33:25,213 --> 00:33:26,588 No Zagnut bars? 406 00:33:26,964 --> 00:33:29,423 Life is a chewy shit sandwich 407 00:33:32,345 --> 00:33:33,507 What now? 408 00:33:33,971 --> 00:33:35,763 Go fetch me some Zagnut bars, wench 409 00:33:35,932 --> 00:33:37,260 Fuck you 410 00:33:37,558 --> 00:33:38,803 You already have 411 00:33:40,228 --> 00:33:41,176 Fucked me 412 00:33:42,688 --> 00:33:43,554 You are such 413 00:33:43,814 --> 00:33:44,977 the prick 414 00:33:46,150 --> 00:33:48,059 Yeah, well, that's not exactly how you phrased it last night 415 00:33:48,235 --> 00:33:51,394 You think you're funny? You're not. You're pathetic 416 00:33:55,993 --> 00:33:57,023 Sniff my finger 417 00:33:58,704 --> 00:34:03,796 Sniff my finger 'n' tell me it doesn't smell like your girlfriend's sweet juicy snatch 418 00:34:03,876 --> 00:34:04,955 I'm gonna strangle you! 419 00:34:05,210 --> 00:34:06,040 I hate you! 420 00:34:29,192 --> 00:34:30,437 He's a liar 421 00:34:30,694 --> 00:34:31,857 Y'know that, don't you? 422 00:34:32,654 --> 00:34:33,852 It doesn't matter 423 00:34:34,197 --> 00:34:37,032 Even if I did get together with him, and this isn't saying I did or anything, 424 00:34:37,492 --> 00:34:39,034 but if I did, 425 00:34:39,870 --> 00:34:42,574 y'know that it wouldn't actually mean anything, I mean 426 00:34:43,331 --> 00:34:45,205 y'know that I really only love you, 427 00:34:45,959 --> 00:34:46,659 right? 428 00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:50,541 Whatever, Amy 429 00:35:00,390 --> 00:35:02,466 I wish that we could ditch him someplace, Jordan 430 00:35:02,892 --> 00:35:05,383 Just get rid of him and forget he ever existed 431 00:35:07,897 --> 00:35:09,557 He's not so bad 432 00:35:09,732 --> 00:35:10,977 I mean, 433 00:35:11,442 --> 00:35:13,067 he's sorta like us 434 00:35:14,279 --> 00:35:15,559 Lost, 435 00:35:16,614 --> 00:35:18,406 like he doesn't fit in 436 00:35:20,326 --> 00:35:21,737 He scares me, Jordan 437 00:35:23,121 --> 00:35:24,663 Like I don't know what it is, 438 00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:28,282 there's something evil about him 439 00:35:30,962 --> 00:35:32,586 Don't be a cornnut 440 00:35:33,548 --> 00:35:34,579 C'mon 441 00:35:35,174 --> 00:35:36,585 finish your breakfast 442 00:35:37,385 --> 00:35:39,377 Then let's get me some clothes 443 00:35:39,762 --> 00:35:42,633 I feel like a fuckin frat boy in this toga 444 00:36:01,659 --> 00:36:02,773 Be right back 445 00:36:11,085 --> 00:36:13,920 What's with you? You act like somebody ate your pet hamster 446 00:36:15,172 --> 00:36:16,287 Well, duh 447 00:36:16,632 --> 00:36:19,633 I am so pissed at you I could rip your testicles off 448 00:36:19,885 --> 00:36:21,628 and staple them to your ankles 449 00:36:21,929 --> 00:36:24,883 What the fuck did you have to go and tell Jordan for? 450 00:36:25,641 --> 00:36:26,886 Tell him what? 451 00:36:27,684 --> 00:36:29,511 What d'you think, doorknob? That we got together 452 00:36:30,812 --> 00:36:32,141 Well, didn't you utterly dig it? 453 00:36:32,606 --> 00:36:33,981 That is not the point 454 00:36:34,691 --> 00:36:36,731 What is the point then? Get it: 455 00:36:36,902 --> 00:36:39,938 Guilt is for married, old people 456 00:36:41,490 --> 00:36:44,360 You are incredible. You aren't even human, are you? 457 00:36:45,702 --> 00:36:48,275 You're like a life support system for a cock 458 00:36:49,998 --> 00:36:51,706 This is so fuckin cher 459 00:36:51,875 --> 00:36:52,954 Look'it this thing 460 00:36:53,168 --> 00:36:54,578 I mean, check it out 461 00:36:54,753 --> 00:36:55,915 Let me see 462 00:37:03,386 --> 00:37:04,382 Can I? 463 00:37:05,513 --> 00:37:06,924 Be my guest 464 00:37:23,114 --> 00:37:25,866 Jesus, it's a fuckin belt Don't tard out over it 465 00:37:28,536 --> 00:37:30,363 Mon, dad 466 00:37:30,913 --> 00:37:31,944 It's me 467 00:37:35,668 --> 00:37:38,835 I'm uh, sorta takin' a little vacation with Amy right now and uh 468 00:37:42,925 --> 00:37:45,381 Fuckin machine hung up on me 469 00:37:53,519 --> 00:37:54,598 I'm thirsty 470 00:38:23,924 --> 00:38:25,122 What d'you pick? 471 00:38:27,177 --> 00:38:28,173 Shit! 472 00:38:31,807 --> 00:38:34,262 Jordan, would you listen to me for a second and forget about that dweeby game? 473 00:38:42,025 --> 00:38:43,934 Sheesh, Amy, what's the national emergency? 474 00:38:45,403 --> 00:38:48,274 Jordan, would you kindly pull your head out of your rectal region? 475 00:38:51,451 --> 00:38:53,823 We're accessories to two homicides 476 00:38:54,913 --> 00:38:56,989 Doesn't that concern you in the fuckin least? 477 00:39:01,044 --> 00:39:02,372 Kitten, is that you? 478 00:39:07,091 --> 00:39:08,634 Don't you recognize me? 479 00:39:09,636 --> 00:39:10,750 It's me 480 00:39:12,013 --> 00:39:13,258 Brandi 481 00:39:13,431 --> 00:39:16,052 Your eternal loveslave 482 00:39:16,267 --> 00:39:17,512 Your slave 483 00:39:17,727 --> 00:39:18,889 Look, lady, I don't know who you are 484 00:39:19,062 --> 00:39:22,062 Has this guy shot you full of dope and brainwashed 485 00:39:22,231 --> 00:39:23,773 you like the others? You're high, aren't you? 486 00:39:24,776 --> 00:39:26,270 - It's me, honeycakes! - Let me go! 487 00:39:28,738 --> 00:39:30,861 I know it's you, I can smell your perfume 488 00:39:34,118 --> 00:39:37,238 Get your fucking clammy hands off me, you crazy bitch!!! 489 00:39:38,956 --> 00:39:40,367 He's kidnapped you, right? 490 00:39:40,541 --> 00:39:43,293 And he told you he'd kill you if you act like you knew me 491 00:39:43,544 --> 00:39:44,707 Well, don't fret, darlin' 492 00:39:45,296 --> 00:39:46,410 Brandi's here 493 00:39:46,589 --> 00:39:47,751 I'll save you from this heathen 494 00:39:52,344 --> 00:39:54,218 I'm gonna lop 495 00:39:54,555 --> 00:39:56,797 his dick off 496 00:39:57,349 --> 00:39:58,725 like a chicken head 497 00:40:00,894 --> 00:40:03,053 I can't leave you guys alone for a minute, can I? 498 00:40:27,671 --> 00:40:29,498 Oh God, Bruce I'm sorry 499 00:40:33,802 --> 00:40:36,471 But that was her, it was Kitten 500 00:40:37,139 --> 00:40:38,965 I know it, I know it was her 501 00:40:46,606 --> 00:40:47,685 The bitch 502 00:40:52,070 --> 00:40:53,694 I'm gonna find her 503 00:40:55,698 --> 00:40:57,276 And I'm gonna kill 504 00:40:59,035 --> 00:41:00,944 This is so nice 505 00:41:01,538 --> 00:41:04,989 Lying here like two spoons stacked in a drawer 506 00:41:06,626 --> 00:41:08,868 I hope we die simultaneously, 507 00:41:10,254 --> 00:41:12,710 like in a fiery car wreck 508 00:41:13,424 --> 00:41:16,544 or nuclear bomb-blast or something 509 00:41:19,722 --> 00:41:21,382 You are so romantic 510 00:41:23,935 --> 00:41:25,512 No, for reals 511 00:41:27,146 --> 00:41:29,435 I don't ever wanna have to miss you 512 00:41:32,443 --> 00:41:33,641 Ditto 513 00:41:34,445 --> 00:41:38,395 Row, row, row 514 00:41:38,741 --> 00:41:39,903 your boat 515 00:41:40,534 --> 00:41:45,077 gently down the stream 516 00:41:50,753 --> 00:41:54,585 Merrily, merrily, merrily 517 00:41:59,345 --> 00:42:02,548 Life is but a dream 518 00:42:14,776 --> 00:42:15,891 Take it out 519 00:42:24,369 --> 00:42:25,448 Stroke it 520 00:42:29,708 --> 00:42:30,787 Squeeze it 521 00:42:34,212 --> 00:42:35,291 Harder 522 00:42:39,593 --> 00:42:40,672 Look at it 523 00:42:47,517 --> 00:42:48,596 Put it in 524 00:42:54,482 --> 00:42:55,976 when I say OK 525 00:43:25,429 --> 00:43:29,474 Don't you think sex is totally strange? 526 00:43:30,601 --> 00:43:32,345 Just the whole idea of it, 527 00:43:33,896 --> 00:43:36,352 this tube of flesh gets stiff 528 00:43:37,358 --> 00:43:39,185 and inserted in these 529 00:43:39,985 --> 00:43:42,061 warm, squishy places 530 00:43:44,740 --> 00:43:48,489 I think maybe it's more powerful than we'd like it to be 531 00:43:51,789 --> 00:43:53,865 It's fuckin trippy, 532 00:43:55,250 --> 00:43:56,793 that's for sure 533 00:43:59,254 --> 00:44:01,792 It's kinda like eating spaghetti 534 00:44:05,636 --> 00:44:06,750 Why? 535 00:44:14,519 --> 00:44:16,311 You are so great 536 00:44:22,944 --> 00:44:24,403 Hey, that reminds me 537 00:44:25,906 --> 00:44:27,448 I'm hongry 538 00:44:27,616 --> 00:44:29,407 You're always "hongry" 539 00:44:31,286 --> 00:44:33,195 That's cuz I'm a growin' boy 540 00:44:36,958 --> 00:44:41,205 I'm gonna walk to the AM/PM and get some Shrimp Nuggets or something 541 00:44:42,422 --> 00:44:43,585 Want anything? 542 00:44:44,716 --> 00:44:46,044 More cigarettes 543 00:44:47,177 --> 00:44:48,339 Yes, dear 544 00:45:09,323 --> 00:45:10,818 I love you, fucker 545 00:45:12,660 --> 00:45:14,238 Me too, fucker 546 00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:52,319 Pig 547 00:45:53,867 --> 00:45:55,112 Whatchawatchin'? 548 00:46:05,170 --> 00:46:06,201 Come here 549 00:46:12,552 --> 00:46:13,881 I wanna play a game 550 00:46:16,098 --> 00:46:17,473 I'm gonna start counting 551 00:46:18,100 --> 00:46:21,100 If you crack a smile before I get to eight, 552 00:46:21,395 --> 00:46:22,889 I get to strangle you 553 00:46:23,271 --> 00:46:24,386 If you don't, 554 00:46:26,399 --> 00:46:28,890 I have to do anything you say 555 00:46:58,556 --> 00:46:59,801 seven-and-a-half 556 00:47:01,684 --> 00:47:02,847 You win 557 00:47:07,356 --> 00:47:08,352 Go ahead 558 00:47:39,054 --> 00:47:40,134 I'll take 559 00:47:40,931 --> 00:47:41,678 these too 560 00:47:46,186 --> 00:47:48,096 Six sixty-six 561 00:48:00,284 --> 00:48:01,826 What's Jordan's like? 562 00:48:02,369 --> 00:48:03,400 What? 563 00:48:03,620 --> 00:48:06,242 Y'know, his engorged member 564 00:48:06,915 --> 00:48:08,623 His tumescent love missle 565 00:48:08,792 --> 00:48:11,995 His throbbing purple meat scepter 566 00:48:14,047 --> 00:48:15,423 Why d'you wanna know? 567 00:48:16,174 --> 00:48:17,289 I don't know 568 00:48:18,260 --> 00:48:19,635 I'm curious 569 00:48:21,847 --> 00:48:23,175 It's alright, 570 00:48:23,890 --> 00:48:24,969 it's fine 571 00:48:27,519 --> 00:48:30,271 What d'you mean 'fine'? 572 00:48:31,648 --> 00:48:33,890 Is it the size of vienna sausage 573 00:48:34,234 --> 00:48:35,942 or like a baby's arm? 574 00:48:36,653 --> 00:48:39,322 Is it cut, is it uncut? 575 00:48:39,823 --> 00:48:43,073 Does it lean to the left? Does it lean to the right? 576 00:48:43,326 --> 00:48:45,449 Does it go in a southeasterly direction? 577 00:48:47,747 --> 00:48:50,036 Is it curved, is it straight, 578 00:48:51,876 --> 00:48:54,284 Is it shaped like a fuckin corkscrew, or what? 579 00:48:55,713 --> 00:48:57,836 What difference does it make to you? 580 00:48:58,508 --> 00:49:00,381 Does he plunge it into you long 581 00:49:01,469 --> 00:49:02,632 slow 582 00:49:03,262 --> 00:49:04,460 and deep 583 00:49:04,972 --> 00:49:06,135 like this? 584 00:49:06,516 --> 00:49:09,220 Or quick and short and shallow 585 00:49:09,519 --> 00:49:10,847 like a jackrabbit? 586 00:49:13,523 --> 00:49:15,432 Does he make noises like this? 587 00:49:21,906 --> 00:49:23,104 Or does he make it like... 588 00:49:27,495 --> 00:49:29,534 Or, no, he's a whimperer 589 00:49:34,585 --> 00:49:38,168 Would you kindly stop babbling and fuck me already? 590 00:51:39,208 --> 00:51:40,370 Where you been? 591 00:51:42,586 --> 00:51:43,617 Nowhere 592 00:51:49,009 --> 00:51:50,918 I was worried about you, dufus 593 00:51:52,262 --> 00:51:53,294 Sorry 594 00:51:55,224 --> 00:51:56,303 Come over here 595 00:52:09,571 --> 00:52:11,564 Y'know just because he and I 596 00:52:13,992 --> 00:52:17,657 It doesn't mean that I'm really like all that 597 00:52:19,289 --> 00:52:20,617 whatever 598 00:52:22,500 --> 00:52:23,580 I know 599 00:53:02,331 --> 00:53:03,529 This the currency 600 00:53:03,749 --> 00:53:06,869 we've linked to the December 17th QuickieMart robbery/homicide 601 00:53:07,086 --> 00:53:07,952 in Tarzana 602 00:53:08,296 --> 00:53:08,995 The suspects 603 00:53:09,589 --> 00:53:12,044 a paramilitary brigade of three youths 604 00:53:13,050 --> 00:53:16,466 appear to be on a freewheeling crime spree heading north 605 00:53:16,637 --> 00:53:17,918 We've run a fingerprint check 606 00:53:18,139 --> 00:53:20,012 through the Mother Computer in DC 607 00:53:20,474 --> 00:53:22,550 and thusfar have ID'd one of the suspects 608 00:53:23,352 --> 00:53:24,727 Amy Blue 609 00:53:25,020 --> 00:53:26,396 Age 18 610 00:53:27,064 --> 00:53:29,472 Height: five-one Weight: ninetytwo pounds 611 00:53:29,650 --> 00:53:31,524 Eyes: Hazel Hair: Brown 612 00:53:32,403 --> 00:53:34,691 Cumulative SAT score: 613 00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:36,781 666 614 00:53:42,037 --> 00:53:44,742 Should be considered armed and dangerous 615 00:53:48,544 --> 00:53:49,326 Gentlemen, 616 00:53:50,003 --> 00:53:51,711 I want you to find her 617 00:53:52,172 --> 00:53:53,714 And if necessary 618 00:53:54,341 --> 00:53:55,123 Kill her 619 00:54:02,516 --> 00:54:03,630 G'morning 620 00:54:08,105 --> 00:54:11,687 Don't kiss me My breath is like totally skanky 621 00:54:14,653 --> 00:54:16,526 Wait till I brush my teeth 622 00:54:22,619 --> 00:54:23,781 Know what? 623 00:54:26,289 --> 00:54:27,285 What ? 624 00:54:28,291 --> 00:54:30,829 This is the first time we've ever slept together 625 00:54:31,461 --> 00:54:33,252 and woken up together 626 00:54:34,422 --> 00:54:36,000 In a real bed, I mean 627 00:54:38,593 --> 00:54:41,464 You are the bright red cherry on top of my sundae 628 00:54:46,267 --> 00:54:47,465 Goofball 629 00:54:51,731 --> 00:54:53,474 Rise and shine, monkeybutt 630 00:55:10,750 --> 00:55:13,786 The itsy bitsy spider 631 00:55:13,961 --> 00:55:16,369 went up the waterspout 632 00:55:16,922 --> 00:55:19,248 Down came the rain 633 00:55:19,717 --> 00:55:21,176 Washed the spider out 634 00:55:21,343 --> 00:55:24,510 I have died and gone to hell for my sins 635 00:55:29,852 --> 00:55:32,058 It's the Dawning of A Brand New Day 636 00:55:34,273 --> 00:55:36,562 Suck my stump to a bloody lump 637 00:55:38,861 --> 00:55:40,688 S'what happened last night? 638 00:55:41,822 --> 00:55:43,649 A Mayonaisse-on-twat? 639 00:55:46,577 --> 00:55:48,403 A Mayo-on-twat 640 00:55:48,787 --> 00:55:49,950 A three-way 641 00:55:50,831 --> 00:55:54,531 A double-stuff. E.T. finger-touch 642 00:55:55,335 --> 00:55:56,331 What ? 643 00:56:01,508 --> 00:56:06,802 Y'know in E.T. where the kid and E.T. they touch fingers and go "ouch" 644 00:56:12,811 --> 00:56:15,017 You musta been wasted 645 00:56:20,235 --> 00:56:22,192 Ever done that? 646 00:56:25,115 --> 00:56:26,609 You mean, like 647 00:56:27,200 --> 00:56:30,367 have sex with two people at the same time? 648 00:56:36,376 --> 00:56:37,751 It's the best 649 00:56:40,004 --> 00:56:42,044 You start building up this momentum, 650 00:56:42,423 --> 00:56:43,538 this rhythm, 651 00:56:44,175 --> 00:56:45,966 y'know like a piston engine 652 00:56:46,469 --> 00:56:48,260 And as you're all poundin' away, 653 00:56:50,556 --> 00:56:53,676 your balls are slappin' against the other guy's 654 00:56:55,311 --> 00:56:58,645 and you can actually feel his cock 655 00:56:59,315 --> 00:57:01,142 through the girl's insides 656 00:57:03,402 --> 00:57:05,691 What're you two homos gabbing about now? 657 00:57:07,990 --> 00:57:09,947 Have either of you ever done it with an animal? 658 00:57:10,117 --> 00:57:10,983 What ? 659 00:57:12,578 --> 00:57:14,405 Have either of you had sex with an animal ? 660 00:57:14,580 --> 00:57:15,955 Just you 661 00:57:18,542 --> 00:57:19,787 No, really? 662 00:57:20,544 --> 00:57:21,742 Have you? 663 00:57:23,714 --> 00:57:25,754 Well, when I was a kid, we had this golden retriever named 'Honey' 664 00:57:25,925 --> 00:57:29,009 I do not want to hear any more of this story 665 00:57:29,219 --> 00:57:31,011 She was a consenting adult 666 00:57:34,183 --> 00:57:36,056 I fucked a cantaloupe once 667 00:57:37,728 --> 00:57:40,100 This song always reminds me of Scooter 668 00:57:40,397 --> 00:57:41,476 Who's Scooter? 669 00:57:42,399 --> 00:57:44,855 He was like my best friend all through high school 670 00:57:46,904 --> 00:57:51,530 One day he brought a gun to physics class and told everyone he was gonna shoot himself in the bathroom 671 00:57:51,700 --> 00:57:52,815 And he did 672 00:57:53,243 --> 00:57:56,612 He was always depressed, always pulling shit like that, 673 00:57:56,788 --> 00:57:58,496 so nobody believed him 674 00:58:00,542 --> 00:58:02,001 Death's funny 675 00:58:03,712 --> 00:58:07,128 Like at first, it's all weird 'n' you're bummed 'n' shit - 676 00:58:08,175 --> 00:58:11,378 like this person you're used to hangin' out with all of sudden doesn't like 677 00:58:11,803 --> 00:58:13,345 exist anymore 678 00:58:14,180 --> 00:58:16,588 But then you just get over it 'n' move on 679 00:58:17,892 --> 00:58:18,924 It's almost for the best 680 00:58:19,185 --> 00:58:22,020 I mean, Scooter was so sad all the time 681 00:58:23,523 --> 00:58:27,272 Me and him used to sit in my room, gettin' stoned, listening to the Smiths 682 00:58:28,945 --> 00:58:31,566 he was over the night before he killed himself 683 00:58:32,448 --> 00:58:36,577 right in the middle of "Unloveable", he just started cryin' like crazy 684 00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:39,077 He was really into the Smiths 685 00:58:43,668 --> 00:58:45,744 Hey Amy, remember the time we were so fucked up we lost my mom's car? 686 00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:48,209 After the Thrill Kill Kult concert? 687 00:58:49,465 --> 00:58:53,510 We were so trashed we couldn't remember where we left the car 688 00:58:54,011 --> 00:58:56,502 We looked and looked 689 00:58:56,681 --> 00:58:59,302 and we walked around and around 690 00:58:59,892 --> 00:59:02,893 but we could not find the fucking thing to save our life! 691 00:59:03,521 --> 00:59:06,356 We finally ended up taking a cab home 692 00:59:06,524 --> 00:59:07,982 Which you puked in 693 00:59:08,150 --> 00:59:09,894 Which you puked in! 694 00:59:11,237 --> 00:59:12,482 Wait 695 00:59:17,034 --> 00:59:18,943 How revolting 696 00:59:28,712 --> 00:59:29,827 Amy? What? 697 00:59:32,299 --> 00:59:33,330 Oh fuck 698 01:00:16,259 --> 01:00:17,504 Do something 699 01:00:17,927 --> 01:00:19,090 Like what? 700 01:00:19,596 --> 01:00:20,710 I don't know Something 701 01:00:22,891 --> 01:00:25,678 What, do look like a fuckin veterinarian? 702 01:00:34,986 --> 01:00:36,480 What're you doing?! 703 01:00:45,121 --> 01:00:46,912 Jesus fucking Christ 704 01:01:05,808 --> 01:01:07,433 The world sucks 705 01:01:13,274 --> 01:01:16,144 Bro, snag the import It's got extra tracks 706 01:01:32,183 --> 01:01:33,126 I just wish I could crawl in here 707 01:01:33,377 --> 01:01:34,622 and disappear forever 708 01:01:37,589 --> 01:01:39,498 Don't you have that at home already? 709 01:01:44,304 --> 01:01:46,048 I miss my records 710 01:01:51,019 --> 01:01:52,015 Well, well, well, men Lookee here 711 01:01:52,187 --> 01:01:54,512 Check out that hot, tight bubble-butt, George 712 01:01:54,898 --> 01:01:57,223 Oh stop, Dan I'm gonna pop a boner 713 01:01:57,526 --> 01:02:00,361 Hey there, sailor Like your pretty earrings 714 01:02:00,737 --> 01:02:02,112 Leave him alone, Pat 715 01:02:02,280 --> 01:02:05,530 Can't you see he's a shy, sensitive flower? 716 01:02:07,536 --> 01:02:08,946 What's goin' on here, man? 717 01:02:09,412 --> 01:02:10,492 No way 718 01:02:11,039 --> 01:02:12,319 It can't be 719 01:02:14,292 --> 01:02:15,455 Bambi? 720 01:02:16,169 --> 01:02:17,497 Is it really you? 721 01:02:18,671 --> 01:02:19,703 Fuck 722 01:02:21,174 --> 01:02:22,502 It's me, George 723 01:02:23,051 --> 01:02:24,379 Your poopsie, 724 01:02:24,719 --> 01:02:26,048 Your snugglybear 725 01:02:26,554 --> 01:02:28,879 Look, smegma-breath I'm not whoever the fuck you think I am 726 01:02:29,057 --> 01:02:31,429 So will you just do me a favor and evacuate? 727 01:02:33,645 --> 01:02:35,637 Don't do this 728 01:02:36,022 --> 01:02:37,350 Fuck this shit 729 01:02:42,070 --> 01:02:43,149 Please 730 01:03:10,681 --> 01:03:13,219 Dig it... Someone made the bed 731 01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:20,971 I just hope we don't catch crabs or something 732 01:03:33,620 --> 01:03:36,491 Life is lonely, boring, and dumb 733 01:03:41,962 --> 01:03:42,911 Jordan, y'want heads, or tails? 734 01:03:51,263 --> 01:03:52,508 Whatever 735 01:03:54,975 --> 01:03:56,054 Heads 736 01:03:57,018 --> 01:03:58,216 Tails 737 01:04:04,150 --> 01:04:05,265 Heads 738 01:04:10,657 --> 01:04:11,688 Oh well 739 01:04:22,127 --> 01:04:23,585 There any more beer? 740 01:04:25,463 --> 01:04:26,744 In the trunk 741 01:04:33,137 --> 01:04:34,418 Have fun 742 01:04:42,605 --> 01:04:43,933 Gimme your finger 743 01:04:49,237 --> 01:04:50,897 Now stick it up my asshole 744 01:04:53,032 --> 01:04:54,941 Repulse me! No way 745 01:04:55,242 --> 01:04:56,191 C'mon 746 01:04:56,369 --> 01:04:58,527 That is the most sickening, grotesque thing I've ever-- 747 01:04:58,704 --> 01:04:59,368 Do it 748 01:05:12,218 --> 01:05:14,091 Nice and easy 749 01:05:35,490 --> 01:05:37,816 "Schoobie, schoobie, 750 01:05:38,702 --> 01:05:40,695 schmoke a doobie" 751 01:05:57,971 --> 01:05:59,134 You're up to bat 752 01:05:59,764 --> 01:06:02,137 Don't tell me you hogged all the brewskis 753 01:06:10,734 --> 01:06:12,975 Nothing makes me thirstier than a 754 01:06:13,903 --> 01:06:15,148 wicked, excellent 755 01:06:15,822 --> 01:06:16,937 fuck 756 01:06:23,204 --> 01:06:24,402 Go fer it, boyo 757 01:06:33,631 --> 01:06:35,125 X, do you like slamdancing? 758 01:06:35,967 --> 01:06:37,081 It's alright 759 01:06:37,677 --> 01:06:40,428 except when you get someone's elbow in your eye, or 760 01:06:41,013 --> 01:06:43,136 their steel-toed boot in your crotch 761 01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:46,639 Why ? 762 01:06:50,147 --> 01:06:51,345 Have you ever, 763 01:06:52,149 --> 01:06:53,264 I mean, 764 01:06:57,321 --> 01:06:58,780 does it like 765 01:06:58,948 --> 01:07:00,572 all those bodies, 766 01:07:01,450 --> 01:07:03,988 all that sweating 767 01:07:04,745 --> 01:07:06,370 'n' pushing 'n' shoving 768 01:07:07,957 --> 01:07:09,617 Does it give me a hard-on? 769 01:07:15,798 --> 01:07:17,340 Yeah, always 770 01:07:29,186 --> 01:07:31,855 I, uh, better 771 01:07:53,418 --> 01:07:56,585 Do you ever wonder what the meaning of our existence is? 772 01:08:02,469 --> 01:08:04,627 You ever wonder why we exist? 773 01:08:09,225 --> 01:08:10,388 No, what for? 774 01:08:14,606 --> 01:08:15,720 No reason 775 01:09:06,699 --> 01:09:09,783 Y'ever wonder what the meaning of our existence is? 776 01:09:11,495 --> 01:09:12,954 You gotta be kidding 777 01:09:14,081 --> 01:09:16,038 No, really 778 01:09:16,875 --> 01:09:18,251 Don't y'think about it? 779 01:09:19,294 --> 01:09:22,461 Christ, Jordan. I'm just about to come. Can we talk about this later? 780 01:09:24,425 --> 01:09:25,504 I guess 781 01:09:43,443 --> 01:09:45,151 What the fuck're you doing? 782 01:09:46,363 --> 01:09:48,688 Relax, you'll like it 783 01:09:49,950 --> 01:09:53,116 I am not going to "like" your finger shoved up my shit-chute 784 01:09:53,286 --> 01:09:54,911 That's grodified 785 01:09:55,622 --> 01:09:58,291 Jordan, will you please stop being such an uptight and live a little? 786 01:10:00,835 --> 01:10:02,164 I dunno, Amy 787 01:10:05,090 --> 01:10:07,082 Take a walik on the wild side 788 01:10:08,843 --> 01:10:10,041 Trust me 789 01:10:20,980 --> 01:10:24,349 Just relax 790 01:11:40,767 --> 01:11:41,633 Shit 791 01:11:41,810 --> 01:11:42,759 What ? 792 01:11:44,062 --> 01:11:45,437 What is it? 793 01:11:46,857 --> 01:11:48,267 I gotta pee 794 01:11:49,192 --> 01:11:50,390 Right now? 795 01:11:52,404 --> 01:11:55,654 It's not like I want to get up 'n' go out into the fuckin freezing cold y'know, 796 01:11:55,949 --> 01:11:58,487 but when Nature calls, it fucking hollers 797 01:12:01,371 --> 01:12:04,787 Just go ahead and let 'er rip while we're all coming 798 01:12:06,709 --> 01:12:08,785 That is so vile and beastly 799 01:12:08,962 --> 01:12:12,295 I can't believe any human being could even conceive of it 800 01:12:12,590 --> 01:12:15,627 Jeez, little Miss Polly Pureheart 801 01:12:18,012 --> 01:12:19,886 You are a demon from hell 802 01:12:28,147 --> 01:12:30,436 Girls have no sense of adventure 803 01:12:34,737 --> 01:12:35,935 I guess 804 01:12:42,828 --> 01:12:44,406 She better hurry 805 01:12:44,580 --> 01:12:46,537 My woody's startin' to droop 806 01:12:48,417 --> 01:12:49,662 Mine's not 807 01:12:56,926 --> 01:12:59,084 What the fuck?? 808 01:12:59,720 --> 01:13:02,389 Two little faggots 809 01:13:02,556 --> 01:13:04,715 sittin' in a bed, 810 01:13:05,601 --> 01:13:07,558 One eatin' ass, 811 01:13:08,187 --> 01:13:10,096 'n the other givin' head 812 01:13:10,522 --> 01:13:12,895 Dirty, pervert scum 813 01:13:13,484 --> 01:13:15,441 make me see red 814 01:13:16,403 --> 01:13:18,977 The world'll be a purer place 815 01:13:19,531 --> 01:13:21,654 when they're both dead 816 01:13:22,367 --> 01:13:24,775 X, man, if this is your idea of a-- 817 01:13:24,953 --> 01:13:26,068 Shut up 818 01:14:02,741 --> 01:14:03,903 Leave her alone! 819 01:14:05,493 --> 01:14:06,407 Dan 820 01:14:07,287 --> 01:14:09,196 Please fire up our favorite song 821 01:14:16,504 --> 01:14:18,378 I pledge allegiance 822 01:14:19,507 --> 01:14:20,835 to the flag 823 01:14:21,009 --> 01:14:24,175 of the United States of America 824 01:14:25,722 --> 01:14:26,966 to the Republic 825 01:14:28,433 --> 01:14:30,010 For which it stands 826 01:14:30,768 --> 01:14:32,179 One Nation 827 01:14:32,395 --> 01:14:34,553 Under God Indivisible 828 01:14:35,022 --> 01:14:36,433 Leave her the fuck alone! 829 01:14:37,900 --> 01:14:39,145 With Liberty 830 01:14:40,361 --> 01:14:41,476 And Justice 831 01:14:45,282 --> 01:14:46,314 You fuckin bitch 832 01:14:51,580 --> 01:14:54,949 You're gonna pay for that, Bambi 833 01:14:59,129 --> 01:15:01,667 Part them succulent meat curtains, darling, 834 01:15:02,341 --> 01:15:05,674 and get ready for the religious experience of your life 835 01:15:06,512 --> 01:15:07,674 You fucking asshole! 836 01:15:08,514 --> 01:15:09,427 Stop it! 837 01:15:12,142 --> 01:15:13,601 Just be patient, honey 838 01:15:14,144 --> 01:15:15,342 You'll get yours 839 01:15:15,646 --> 01:15:17,140 That's what your mom said 840 01:15:17,314 --> 01:15:19,057 - only I couldn't hear her, 841 01:15:19,691 --> 01:15:22,478 she had my sperm gurgling in her mouth 842 01:15:27,658 --> 01:15:29,033 Don't you 843 01:15:29,660 --> 01:15:30,739 ever 844 01:15:31,036 --> 01:15:33,159 Talk about my mother like that! 845 01:15:36,666 --> 01:15:38,955 You... you... 846 01:15:40,837 --> 01:15:42,296 You, dude, are going to die 847 01:15:43,298 --> 01:15:44,958 And you, Bambi 848 01:15:45,800 --> 01:15:49,637 you lying filthy fucking slut 849 01:15:50,180 --> 01:15:51,638 are gonna watch me 850 01:15:52,307 --> 01:15:55,261 help your little fairy boytoy 851 01:15:55,894 --> 01:15:58,385 shuffle off this mortal coil 852 01:16:06,237 --> 01:16:08,479 Kiss your puny, 853 01:16:09,657 --> 01:16:11,650 worthless 854 01:16:12,910 --> 01:16:14,155 cock goodbye 855 01:16:29,468 --> 01:16:31,675 Any last words, queer? 856 01:16:34,223 --> 01:16:35,053 Amy 857 01:16:39,186 --> 01:16:40,384 I love y-- 858 01:16:52,074 --> 01:16:55,324 Isn't love a many-splendored thing? 859 01:17:00,833 --> 01:17:02,457 Wake up, loverboy 860 01:17:03,168 --> 01:17:05,291 Open wide and say 861 01:17:05,546 --> 01:17:07,040 "yummy yum yum" 862 01:18:57,781 --> 01:18:59,323 Wanna Dorito? 863 01:20:10,781 --> 01:20:15,323 Transcribed by McFist, 2004 from "The Doom Generation" script by Gregg Araki 864 01:20:15,781 --> 01:20:20,323 copyright 1992, Desperate Pictures LTD Registered WGA/west, All rights reserved 865 01:20:20,781 --> 01:20:30,323 WARNING: this script is not to be reproduced, photocopied, distributed or otherwise pirated without the author's consent 866 01:20:31,781 --> 01:20:35,323 the penalty for doing so is death