1 00:04:33,184 --> 00:04:35,152 All right, Charlie. 2 00:04:35,219 --> 00:04:39,087 - That the joint? Who runs it? - I already told you. 3 00:04:39,156 --> 00:04:41,215 - Refresh my memory. - Spats Colombo. 4 00:04:41,292 --> 00:04:44,557 - What's the password? - "I've come to Grandma's funeral." 5 00:04:44,628 --> 00:04:47,222 - Your admission card. - Thanks, Charlie. 6 00:04:47,298 --> 00:04:50,699 If you want a ringside table, just say you're a pallbearer. 7 00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:52,702 We're all set. When's the kickoff? 8 00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:56,171 I'd better blow. If Colombo sees me, it's goodbye, Charlie. 9 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,231 Goodbye, Charlie. 10 00:05:00,177 --> 00:05:03,010 Give me five minutes, then hit 'em with everything you got. 11 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,071 You betcha. 12 00:05:20,297 --> 00:05:21,958 Good evening, sir. 13 00:05:22,032 --> 00:05:25,524 - I'm Mr Mozarella. What can I do for you? - I've come to the old lady's funeral. 14 00:05:25,603 --> 00:05:28,037 I haven't seen you at our services before. 15 00:05:28,105 --> 00:05:30,801 - No, I've been on the wagon. - Please. 16 00:05:30,875 --> 00:05:33,105 Where is the wake? I'm one of the pallbearers. 17 00:05:33,177 --> 00:05:36,112 Show the gentleman into the chapel. Pew number three. 18 00:05:36,180 --> 00:05:38,239 Yes, Mr Mozarella. This way, sir. 19 00:05:57,034 --> 00:05:59,264 Well, if you gotta go, that's the way to do it. 20 00:05:59,336 --> 00:06:01,327 Follow me, please. 21 00:06:14,618 --> 00:06:16,142 - What'll it be, sir? - Booze. 22 00:06:16,220 --> 00:06:18,950 - Sorry. We only serve coffee. - Coffee? 23 00:06:19,023 --> 00:06:21,787 Scotch coffee, Canadian coffee, sour mash coffee... 24 00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:24,760 Scotch. Make it a demitasse, with soda on the side. 25 00:06:24,828 --> 00:06:28,787 Wait a minute. Haven't you got a pew not so close to the band? 26 00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:30,561 How about that one over there? 27 00:06:30,634 --> 00:06:34,661 Sorry, but that's reserved for members of the immediate family. 28 00:06:44,248 --> 00:06:46,079 Oops. 29 00:06:52,022 --> 00:06:54,957 Hey, I want another cup of coffee. 30 00:06:55,025 --> 00:06:58,085 I want another cup of coffee. 31 00:07:08,939 --> 00:07:11,464 Better bring a check in case the joint is raided. 32 00:07:11,542 --> 00:07:15,638 - Who's gonna raid a funeral? - Some people don't respect the dead. 33 00:07:39,069 --> 00:07:41,970 Say, Joe. Tonight's the night, isn't it? 34 00:07:42,039 --> 00:07:45,236 - I'll say. - No, tonight we get paid. 35 00:07:45,309 --> 00:07:49,040 - Why? - I've got to see a dentist tomorrow. 36 00:07:49,113 --> 00:07:51,980 You wanna blow your first week's pay on your teeth? 37 00:07:52,049 --> 00:07:54,483 Just a filling. Doesn't have to be gold. 38 00:07:54,551 --> 00:08:00,547 How can you be so selfish? We owe rent. We owe $89 to Moe's Delicatessen. 39 00:08:00,691 --> 00:08:04,957 The Chinese laundry is suing us. We owe money to every girl in the line. 40 00:08:05,029 --> 00:08:09,159 You're right. Tomorrow we'll pay everyone something on account. 41 00:08:09,233 --> 00:08:14,694 No. Tomorrow we go to the dog track and bet it all on Greased Lightning. 42 00:08:14,772 --> 00:08:17,707 - You'd bet my money on a dog? - He's a shoo-in. 43 00:08:17,775 --> 00:08:20,767 Max the waiter knows the electrician that wires the rabbit. 44 00:08:20,844 --> 00:08:24,109 - What are you givin' me with a rabbit? - The odds are 10 to 1. 45 00:08:24,181 --> 00:08:28,208 - Suppose he loses. - Why worry? This job'll last a long time. 46 00:08:28,285 --> 00:08:33,086 - Suppose it doesn't. - Jerry boy, why paint everything black? 47 00:08:33,157 --> 00:08:36,957 Suppose you got hit by a truck. Suppose the stock market crashes. 48 00:08:37,528 --> 00:08:40,224 Suppose Mary Pickford divorces Douglas Fairbanks. 49 00:08:40,297 --> 00:08:42,993 Suppose the Dodgers leave Brooklyn. 50 00:08:43,133 --> 00:08:45,567 Suppose Lake Michigan overflows. 51 00:08:45,636 --> 00:08:49,629 Well, don't look now, but the whole town is underwater. 52 00:09:02,519 --> 00:09:03,918 Four, 53 00:09:03,987 --> 00:09:05,113 three, 54 00:09:05,189 --> 00:09:06,884 two, 55 00:09:06,957 --> 00:09:08,151 one. 56 00:09:20,771 --> 00:09:24,502 All right, everybody. This is a raid. 57 00:09:24,575 --> 00:09:27,271 I'm a federal agent. You're all under arrest. 58 00:09:28,145 --> 00:09:31,239 I want another cup of coffee. 59 00:09:43,127 --> 00:09:44,719 All right, Spats. 60 00:09:44,795 --> 00:09:47,525 - The services are over. Let's go. - Go where? 61 00:09:47,598 --> 00:09:51,728 A country club for retired bootleggers. I'm puttin' you up for membership. 62 00:09:51,802 --> 00:09:54,862 - I don't join nothin'. - Oh, you'll like it there. 63 00:09:54,938 --> 00:09:59,739 I'll get the prison tailor to fit you with a pair of special spats - striped. 64 00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:02,938 Big joke. What's the rap this time? 65 00:10:03,013 --> 00:10:07,074 Embalming people with coffee. 86 proof. 66 00:10:07,151 --> 00:10:09,745 Me? I'm just a customer. 67 00:10:09,820 --> 00:10:14,985 Oh, come on, Spats. We know you own the joint. Mozarella's just frontin' for you. 68 00:10:15,058 --> 00:10:19,256 - Mozarella? Never heard of him. - We got different information. 69 00:10:19,329 --> 00:10:22,127 From who? Toothpick Charlie maybe? 70 00:10:22,199 --> 00:10:25,396 Toothpick Charlie? Never heard of him. 71 00:10:27,304 --> 00:10:29,636 Buttermilk. 72 00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:33,070 Too smart to drink your own stuff, huh? 73 00:10:33,143 --> 00:10:35,134 Come on. On your feet. 74 00:10:36,180 --> 00:10:40,048 - You're wastin' the taxpayers' money. - Call your lawyer if you wanna. 75 00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:43,678 These are my lawyers. All Harvard men. 76 00:10:46,156 --> 00:10:48,147 I wan' another cuppa coffee. 77 00:11:32,903 --> 00:11:36,498 That solves one problem. Now we don't have to worry about who to pay first. 78 00:11:36,573 --> 00:11:39,269 - Quiet. I'm thinking. - The landlady will lock us out. 79 00:11:39,343 --> 00:11:41,834 At Moe's Deli no more knockwurst on credit. 80 00:11:41,912 --> 00:11:45,848 We can't borrow from the girls - they're on the way to jail. 81 00:11:45,916 --> 00:11:48,885 I wonder how much Sam the bookie will give us for our overcoats. 82 00:11:48,952 --> 00:11:53,685 Sam the bookie? Nothin' doin'. You're not puttin' my overcoat on a dog. 83 00:11:53,757 --> 00:11:56,920 - Jerry, I told you, it's a sure thing. - We will freeze. 84 00:11:56,994 --> 00:11:59,224 It is below zero. We'll get pneumonia. 85 00:11:59,296 --> 00:12:03,562 Look, stupid, he's 10-1. Tomorrow we'll have 20 overcoats. 86 00:12:14,077 --> 00:12:15,806 Greased Lightning. 87 00:12:15,879 --> 00:12:19,508 - I oughta have my head examined. - I thought you weren't talkin' to me. 88 00:12:19,583 --> 00:12:22,143 The bull fiddle's dressed warmer than I am. 89 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,621 - Anything today? - Nothing. 90 00:12:31,695 --> 00:12:33,526 Thank you. 91 00:12:35,866 --> 00:12:37,800 - Anything today? - Nothing. 92 00:12:37,868 --> 00:12:39,529 Thank you. 93 00:12:39,603 --> 00:12:43,972 I can't go on, Joe. I'm weak from hunger, I got a fever, I got a hole in my shoe... 94 00:12:44,041 --> 00:12:46,976 If you gave me a chance, we could be living like kings. 95 00:12:47,044 --> 00:12:49,103 - How? - There's a dog running in the third. 96 00:12:49,179 --> 00:12:54,014 Galloping Ghost. He's 15-1 and it's his kind of a track. He's a real mudder. 97 00:12:54,084 --> 00:12:56,678 What do you want from me? My head on a plate? 98 00:12:56,753 --> 00:12:59,119 No, your bass. If we hock that and my sax... 99 00:12:59,189 --> 00:13:03,125 Are you crazy? We're up the creek and you wanna hock the paddle. 100 00:13:03,193 --> 00:13:06,526 All right, go ahead and starve. What do I care? Freeze. 101 00:13:06,596 --> 00:13:09,429 - Anything today? - Oh, it's you. 102 00:13:09,499 --> 00:13:11,160 Well, you've got a lot of nerve. 103 00:13:11,234 --> 00:13:13,225 Thank you. 104 00:13:13,637 --> 00:13:15,628 Joe. Come back here. 105 00:13:19,810 --> 00:13:23,143 Nellie, baby, if it's about Saturday night, I can explain. 106 00:13:23,213 --> 00:13:27,047 What a heel. I spend $4 to get my hair marcelled, 107 00:13:27,117 --> 00:13:29,051 I buy me a brand-new negligee, 108 00:13:29,119 --> 00:13:31,587 I bake him a great big pizza pie. 109 00:13:31,655 --> 00:13:34,249 - And where were you? - Where were you? 110 00:13:34,324 --> 00:13:35,848 - With you. - Me? 111 00:13:35,926 --> 00:13:37,689 Remember? You had this bad tooth. 112 00:13:37,761 --> 00:13:40,025 It was impacted. His jaw was swoll out. 113 00:13:40,097 --> 00:13:41,029 It was? 114 00:13:41,098 --> 00:13:42,759 Oh, yeah. 115 00:13:42,833 --> 00:13:46,929 - I took him for a blood transfusion. - We have the same type blood. 116 00:13:47,003 --> 00:13:50,029 - Type O. - Oh? 117 00:13:50,107 --> 00:13:54,066 - I'll make it up to you. - You're makin' it up pretty good so far. 118 00:13:54,144 --> 00:13:58,774 As soon as we get a job, I'll take you to the swellest restaurant in town. 119 00:13:58,849 --> 00:14:02,785 How about it? Has Poliakoff got anything for us? We're desperate. 120 00:14:02,853 --> 00:14:06,414 Well, it just so happens he is looking for a bass. 121 00:14:06,490 --> 00:14:08,481 And a sax. 122 00:14:08,558 --> 00:14:10,116 Right? 123 00:14:10,494 --> 00:14:11,654 Right. 124 00:14:11,728 --> 00:14:14,219 - What's the job? - Three weeks in Florida. 125 00:14:14,297 --> 00:14:18,597 At the Seminole-Ritz in Miami. Transportation and expenses all paid. 126 00:14:18,668 --> 00:14:21,569 Isn't she a bit of terrific? Let's see Poliakoff. 127 00:14:21,638 --> 00:14:25,631 - He's busy. You'll have to wait, boys. - All right, we'll wait. 128 00:14:25,709 --> 00:14:28,041 Look, Gladys, it's three weeks in Florida. 129 00:14:28,111 --> 00:14:30,978 Sweet Sue and her Society Syncopators. 130 00:14:31,047 --> 00:14:33,948 They need a couple of girls on sax and bass. 131 00:14:34,017 --> 00:14:38,078 Whaddaya mean, who is it? It's Poliakoff. I got a job for ya. 132 00:14:38,155 --> 00:14:39,884 Gladys. Are ya there? 133 00:14:39,956 --> 00:14:42,151 Gladys! 134 00:14:42,225 --> 00:14:45,752 Meshugana. Played 112 hours at a marathon dance. 135 00:14:45,829 --> 00:14:48,855 - Now she's in bed with nervous collapse. - Tell her to move over. 136 00:14:48,932 --> 00:14:50,661 And Cora Jackson? 137 00:14:50,734 --> 00:14:54,067 Last I heard, she was playin' with the Salvation Army. 138 00:14:54,137 --> 00:14:56,264 Drexel 9044. 139 00:14:56,339 --> 00:14:58,239 Those idiot broads. 140 00:14:58,308 --> 00:15:02,768 Here we are, packed and ready to leave for Miami, and what happens? 141 00:15:02,846 --> 00:15:07,943 The sax runs off with a Bible salesman and the bass gets pregnant. 142 00:15:08,018 --> 00:15:09,986 Bienstock, I oughta fire you. 143 00:15:10,053 --> 00:15:13,454 Me? I'm the manager, not the night watchman. 144 00:15:13,523 --> 00:15:16,048 Hello. Let me talk to Bessie Malone. 145 00:15:16,126 --> 00:15:19,061 What's she doing in Philadelphia? 146 00:15:19,129 --> 00:15:21,563 On the level? 147 00:15:21,631 --> 00:15:24,065 Bessie let her hair grow and is playing with Stokowski. 148 00:15:24,134 --> 00:15:28,264 - Black Bottom Bessie? - Schpielt zich mit der Philharmonic. 149 00:15:28,872 --> 00:15:32,501 - How about Rosemary Schultz? - Slashed her wrists when Valentino died. 150 00:15:32,576 --> 00:15:36,137 We might as well do the same if we don't find two dames by tonight. 151 00:15:36,213 --> 00:15:40,843 We don't care where you find them. Just get them on that train by 8 o'clock. 152 00:15:42,686 --> 00:15:45,018 The moment anything turns up, I'll give you a tinkle. 153 00:15:45,088 --> 00:15:47,852 Bye, Sig. I wonder if I've got room for another ulcer. 154 00:15:47,924 --> 00:15:50,484 Nellie, get me long-distance. 155 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:55,020 - Sig, we wanna talk to you. - About the Florida job. 156 00:15:55,098 --> 00:15:57,225 - Nellie told us about it. - Not too late, are we? 157 00:15:57,300 --> 00:16:00,030 What are ya? Comedians? Get out. 158 00:16:00,103 --> 00:16:02,833 The William Morris Agency in New York. 159 00:16:02,906 --> 00:16:06,342 - You need a bass and a sax? - The instruments are right but you're not. 160 00:16:06,743 --> 00:16:08,233 I wanna speak to Mr Morris. 161 00:16:08,311 --> 00:16:11,303 - What's wrong with us? - You're the wrong shape. 162 00:16:11,381 --> 00:16:15,317 - What do you want? Hunchbacks? - It's not the backs that worry me. 163 00:16:15,385 --> 00:16:16,818 What kind of a band is it? 164 00:16:16,887 --> 00:16:19,151 - You gotta be under 25. - We could pass for that. 165 00:16:19,222 --> 00:16:20,985 - And blond. - We could dye our hair. 166 00:16:21,057 --> 00:16:22,183 And you gotta be girls. 167 00:16:22,259 --> 00:16:23,886 No, we couldn't. 168 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,929 - Mr William Morris. - You mean this is a girls' band? 169 00:16:26,997 --> 00:16:30,433 Yeah. Good old Nellie. I could wring her neck. 170 00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:33,128 Let's talk this over. Why couldn't we do it? 171 00:16:33,203 --> 00:16:36,434 When we worked in the gypsy tearoom, we wore gold earrings. 172 00:16:36,506 --> 00:16:39,942 When you booked us with the Hawaiian band, we wore grass skirts. 173 00:16:40,010 --> 00:16:43,343 - What's with him? He drinks? - No, he ain't eatin' so good. 174 00:16:43,413 --> 00:16:45,313 His empty stomach has gone to his head. 175 00:16:45,382 --> 00:16:49,443 Joe, three weeks in Florida. We could borrow clothes from the chorus girls. 176 00:16:49,519 --> 00:16:52,977 - You've flipped your wig. - Now you're talking. 177 00:16:53,056 --> 00:16:55,752 We get second-hand wigs, a little padding. 178 00:16:55,825 --> 00:16:58,555 We call ourselves Josephine and Geraldine. 179 00:16:58,628 --> 00:17:01,290 Josephine and Geraldine... Come on. 180 00:17:01,364 --> 00:17:04,629 If you wanna pick up a little money tonight, 181 00:17:04,701 --> 00:17:08,797 at the University of Illinois they're havin' a St Valentine's dance. 182 00:17:08,939 --> 00:17:10,429 We'll take it. 183 00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:13,408 $6 a man. Be on the campus at Urbana at 8 o'clock. 184 00:17:13,476 --> 00:17:16,343 All the way to Urbana for a one-night stand? 185 00:17:16,413 --> 00:17:19,712 It's $12. We can get one of the overcoats out of hock. 186 00:17:19,783 --> 00:17:23,150 Hello. Mr Morris? This is Poliakoff in Chicago. 187 00:17:23,219 --> 00:17:26,450 You don't have two girl musicians available, do you? 188 00:17:26,523 --> 00:17:27,854 A sax player and a bass? 189 00:17:28,124 --> 00:17:32,220 - If William Morris doesn't come through... - Come on, Geraldine. 190 00:17:33,797 --> 00:17:36,960 It's 100 miles. It's snowin' outside. How do we get there? 191 00:17:37,033 --> 00:17:38,796 - I'll find something. - Like what? 192 00:17:38,868 --> 00:17:41,428 Don't crowd me. 193 00:17:41,504 --> 00:17:45,338 - How'd it go, girls? - I oughta wring your neck. 194 00:17:45,408 --> 00:17:47,740 Please, Jerry. That's no way to talk. 195 00:17:48,945 --> 00:17:51,106 Nellie baby, what are you doin' tonight? 196 00:17:51,181 --> 00:17:54,514 - Tonight? Why? - Cos I've got some plans. 197 00:17:55,418 --> 00:17:58,854 - I'm not doing anything. - Really? 198 00:17:58,922 --> 00:18:02,824 I just thought I'd go home and have some cold pizza. 199 00:18:02,892 --> 00:18:05,122 Then you'll be in all evening? 200 00:18:05,195 --> 00:18:06,958 Yes, Joe. 201 00:18:07,030 --> 00:18:09,055 Good. Then you won't be needing your car. 202 00:18:09,132 --> 00:18:11,498 My car? Why, you... 203 00:18:13,870 --> 00:18:16,805 Isn't he a bit of terrific? 204 00:18:26,182 --> 00:18:29,310 We coulda had three weeks in Florida, all expenses paid. 205 00:18:29,386 --> 00:18:32,583 Lyin' in the sun, palm trees, flyin' fish... 206 00:18:32,656 --> 00:18:34,647 Knock it off, will ya? 207 00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:41,353 Possible straight, possible nothing, and a pair of eights. 208 00:18:44,401 --> 00:18:45,834 All right, drop 'em, you guys. 209 00:18:45,902 --> 00:18:48,530 - Drop what? - We came for a car. 210 00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:51,301 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. Nellie Weinmeyer's car. 211 00:18:55,245 --> 00:18:56,234 Musicians. 212 00:18:56,312 --> 00:18:57,836 Wise guys. 213 00:18:57,914 --> 00:19:00,212 OK, let's go. Aces bet. 214 00:19:00,283 --> 00:19:03,684 It's a '25 Hupmobile, green, coupe... sir. 215 00:19:03,753 --> 00:19:05,948 - It's over here. - Yeah, over here. 216 00:19:06,022 --> 00:19:11,085 - Want some gas? - Yeah, about 40 cents' worth, please. 217 00:19:11,161 --> 00:19:14,528 - Put it on Miss Weinmeyer's bill? - Yeah. Why not? 218 00:19:14,597 --> 00:19:16,758 And while you're at it, fill it up. 219 00:19:26,743 --> 00:19:28,904 All right, everybody. Hands up. 220 00:19:32,048 --> 00:19:33,777 Face the wall. 221 00:19:36,252 --> 00:19:38,186 You too, Toothpick. 222 00:19:38,254 --> 00:19:40,245 Come on. 223 00:19:42,058 --> 00:19:44,049 Come on. 224 00:19:54,771 --> 00:19:57,763 Hey. Join us. 225 00:20:09,686 --> 00:20:11,176 OK, boss. 226 00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:27,030 Hello, Charlie. Long time no see. 227 00:20:27,103 --> 00:20:31,199 - Spats, what are you doin' here? - I just dropped in to pay my respects. 228 00:20:31,274 --> 00:20:33,742 - You don't owe me nothin'. - I wouldn't say that. 229 00:20:33,810 --> 00:20:36,574 You recommended my mortuary to your friends. 230 00:20:36,646 --> 00:20:40,047 - I don't know what you mean. - Now I got all those coffins on my hands. 231 00:20:40,116 --> 00:20:43,950 - I hate to see 'em go to waste. - I had nothin' to do with it. 232 00:20:44,020 --> 00:20:46,921 Too bad, Charlie. You woulda had three eights. 233 00:20:51,928 --> 00:20:54,658 - Goodbye, Charlie. - No, Spats, no. 234 00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:56,722 No, Spats. Please, no. 235 00:21:03,139 --> 00:21:05,130 I think I'm gonna be sick. 236 00:21:11,114 --> 00:21:13,139 All right, come on outta there. 237 00:21:13,783 --> 00:21:15,774 Come on. 238 00:21:16,319 --> 00:21:17,946 Come on. 239 00:21:18,021 --> 00:21:22,720 - We didn't see anything. Did we? - What? No. Not a thing. 240 00:21:22,792 --> 00:21:26,785 Besides, it's none of our business if you guys wanna bump each other off. 241 00:21:27,697 --> 00:21:31,098 Say... Don't I know you two from somewhere? 242 00:21:31,167 --> 00:21:33,931 Oh, no. We're just a couple of musicians. 243 00:21:34,003 --> 00:21:36,801 We came to pick up a car. Nellie Weinmeyer's car. 244 00:21:36,873 --> 00:21:39,068 There's a dance tonight. 245 00:21:39,142 --> 00:21:41,337 - Come on, Jerry. - Wait a minute. 246 00:21:41,411 --> 00:21:46,280 - Where do you think you're goin'? - Urbana. It's about 100 miles from here... 247 00:21:46,349 --> 00:21:48,340 You're not goin' nowhere. 248 00:21:50,453 --> 00:21:53,422 - We're not? - I don't like no witnesses. 249 00:21:53,489 --> 00:21:56,925 - We won't breathe a word. - You won't breathe nothin'. 250 00:21:56,993 --> 00:21:58,984 Not even air. 251 00:22:31,861 --> 00:22:36,560 All right, boys, let's blow out of here. We'll take care of those guys later. 252 00:22:50,313 --> 00:22:52,110 I think they got me. 253 00:22:52,181 --> 00:22:54,513 - They got the bull fiddle. - No blood? 254 00:22:54,584 --> 00:22:58,315 If they catch us, there'll be blood all over. Type O. Come on. 255 00:23:11,601 --> 00:23:13,933 - Where are you running? - As far away as possible. 256 00:23:14,003 --> 00:23:18,872 It's not far enough. Those guys know us. Every hood in Chicago will be after us. 257 00:23:32,055 --> 00:23:34,046 Quick, gimme a nickel. 258 00:23:37,794 --> 00:23:39,125 You're gonna call the police? 259 00:23:39,195 --> 00:23:42,961 We'd never live to testify against Spats Colombo. 260 00:23:43,032 --> 00:23:45,500 We gotta get out of town. We could grow beards. 261 00:23:45,568 --> 00:23:48,002 We will get out of town, but we're gonna shave. 262 00:23:48,071 --> 00:23:51,837 At a time like this? They wanna blast our heads off, and you wanna shave. 263 00:23:51,908 --> 00:23:56,311 - Shave our legs, stupid. - Shave our legs...? 264 00:23:56,379 --> 00:23:58,904 Hello. Mr Poliakoff? 265 00:23:58,982 --> 00:24:02,645 I understand you're looking for a couple of girl musicians. 266 00:24:19,736 --> 00:24:23,536 Florida Limited leaving on track one for Washington, 267 00:24:23,606 --> 00:24:27,440 Charleston, Savannah, Jacksonville and Miami. 268 00:24:27,510 --> 00:24:29,501 All aboard. 269 00:24:38,121 --> 00:24:38,951 What now? 270 00:24:39,022 --> 00:24:42,014 How do they keep their balance in these things? 271 00:24:42,091 --> 00:24:46,152 Must be the way the weight is distributed. Now come on. 272 00:24:46,229 --> 00:24:48,561 It is so drafty. 273 00:24:48,631 --> 00:24:50,394 They must catch cold all the time. 274 00:24:50,466 --> 00:24:53,629 - Quit stalling. We'll miss the train. - I feel naked. 275 00:24:53,703 --> 00:24:58,197 - I feel like everybody's starin' at me. - With those legs? Are you crazy? 276 00:25:07,817 --> 00:25:10,445 It's no use. We're not gonna get away with it, Joe. 277 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:14,422 My name is Josephine, and this was your idea in the first place. 278 00:25:37,346 --> 00:25:40,747 Look at that. Look how she moves. 279 00:25:40,817 --> 00:25:43,445 That's just like Jell-O on springs. 280 00:25:43,519 --> 00:25:46,750 They must have some sort of built-in motor or something. 281 00:25:46,823 --> 00:25:49,348 I tell ya, it's a whole different sex. 282 00:25:49,425 --> 00:25:52,223 Nobody's asking you to have a baby. 283 00:25:52,295 --> 00:25:55,287 As soon as we're in Florida we'll blow this whole setup. 284 00:25:55,364 --> 00:25:57,127 You will not talk me into... 285 00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:01,227 Extra. Extra. Seven slaughtered in North Side garage. 286 00:26:01,304 --> 00:26:03,864 Fear of bloody aftermath. Extra. Extra. 287 00:26:03,940 --> 00:26:07,432 - You talked me into it. Let's go. - Attagirl, Geraldine. 288 00:26:10,213 --> 00:26:11,373 - Rosella. - Fiddle. 289 00:26:11,447 --> 00:26:13,438 - Move along, Dolores. - Trombone. 290 00:26:13,516 --> 00:26:15,677 - Hey, Olga, how's your back? - Trumpet. 291 00:26:18,488 --> 00:26:22,015 - Here we are. - Are you two from the Poliakoff Agency? 292 00:26:22,091 --> 00:26:24,753 - Yes. We're the new girls. - Brand new. 293 00:26:24,827 --> 00:26:29,059 This is our manager, Mr Bienstock. And I'm Sweet Sue. 294 00:26:29,599 --> 00:26:31,658 My name is Josephine. 295 00:26:31,734 --> 00:26:33,725 I'm Daphne. 296 00:26:34,637 --> 00:26:38,129 Saxophone, bass. Am I glad to see you girls. You saved our lives. 297 00:26:38,207 --> 00:26:40,232 Likewise, I'm sure. 298 00:26:40,309 --> 00:26:42,300 Where did you girls play before? 299 00:26:42,545 --> 00:26:45,878 Here, there and... around, and... 300 00:26:45,948 --> 00:26:50,681 We spent three years at the Sheboygan Conservatory of Music. 301 00:26:50,753 --> 00:26:52,414 All aboard. 302 00:26:52,488 --> 00:26:54,581 You're in berths 7 and 7 A. 303 00:26:54,657 --> 00:26:55,817 7 and 7 A. 304 00:26:55,892 --> 00:26:57,723 - Thanks ever so. - You're welcome. 305 00:26:57,793 --> 00:26:59,784 Oh. The feeling's mutual. 306 00:27:01,564 --> 00:27:03,828 - Upsy-daisy. - Fresh. 307 00:27:04,567 --> 00:27:07,263 Looks like Poliakoff sent a couple of real ladies. 308 00:27:07,336 --> 00:27:10,999 You'd better tell the other girls to watch their language. 309 00:27:20,616 --> 00:27:21,776 What are you...? 310 00:27:21,851 --> 00:27:23,716 Daphne? 311 00:27:23,786 --> 00:27:26,016 I never did like the name Geraldine. 312 00:27:33,362 --> 00:27:37,196 Hi. I'm the bass fiddle. Just call me Daphne. 313 00:27:38,434 --> 00:27:40,425 My name is Josephine. Sax. 314 00:27:41,971 --> 00:27:45,566 - Welcome to No Man's Land. - You'll be sorry. 315 00:27:45,641 --> 00:27:49,202 - Take off your corsets and spread out. - Oh, I don't wear one myself. 316 00:27:49,278 --> 00:27:51,746 - Don't you bulge? - Bulge? Me? 317 00:27:51,814 --> 00:27:55,113 I have the most divine seamstress. Comes in just once a month. 318 00:27:55,184 --> 00:27:58,915 - She is so inexpensive and she told... - Come on, Daphne. 319 00:27:58,988 --> 00:28:02,321 Say, do you know the one about the girl tuba player 320 00:28:02,391 --> 00:28:05,087 who was stranded on an island with a one-legged jockey? 321 00:28:05,161 --> 00:28:08,460 - No. How does it go? - Cut it out, girls. No rough talk. 322 00:28:09,398 --> 00:28:11,389 They went to a conservatory. 323 00:28:17,173 --> 00:28:20,233 How about that talent, huh? 324 00:28:20,309 --> 00:28:22,869 - Like fallin' into a tub of butter. - Watch it, Daphne. 325 00:28:22,945 --> 00:28:27,177 When I was a kid, Joe, I dreamed I was locked up overnight in a pastry shop. 326 00:28:27,250 --> 00:28:29,275 And there was goodies all around. 327 00:28:29,352 --> 00:28:34,221 Jelly rolls, mocha �clairs and Boston cream pie and cherry tarts... 328 00:28:34,290 --> 00:28:37,691 Listen to me: No butter, no pastry. We're on a diet. 329 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:40,092 Yeah, sure, Joe. 330 00:28:40,162 --> 00:28:43,427 Not there. That's the emergency brake. 331 00:28:44,767 --> 00:28:46,894 Now you've done it. 332 00:28:46,969 --> 00:28:49,563 - Done what? - You tore off one of my chests. 333 00:28:50,973 --> 00:28:54,568 - You'd better go get it fixed. - You'd better come help me. 334 00:29:02,285 --> 00:29:04,344 This way, Daphne. 335 00:29:04,420 --> 00:29:06,411 Now you tore the other one. 336 00:29:19,735 --> 00:29:21,225 Terribly sorry. 337 00:29:21,304 --> 00:29:23,465 It's OK. I was scared it was Sweet Sue. 338 00:29:23,539 --> 00:29:26,201 - You won't tell anybody, will you? - Tell what? 339 00:29:26,275 --> 00:29:29,767 If they catch me once more, they'll kick me out of the band. 340 00:29:31,514 --> 00:29:33,709 Are you the replacement for the bass and sax? 341 00:29:33,783 --> 00:29:35,683 That's us. And I'm Daphne. 342 00:29:35,751 --> 00:29:38,219 This is Joe... sephine. 343 00:29:38,287 --> 00:29:40,050 Come in. 344 00:29:40,122 --> 00:29:42,022 I'm Sugar Cane. 345 00:29:42,091 --> 00:29:45,424 - Sugar Cane? - I changed it from Sugar Kowalczyk. 346 00:29:45,494 --> 00:29:48,986 - Polish? - Yes. I come from this musical family. 347 00:29:49,065 --> 00:29:52,091 My mother's a piano teacher. My father was a conductor. 348 00:29:52,168 --> 00:29:54,932 - Where did he conduct? - On the Baltimore and Ohio. 349 00:29:58,474 --> 00:30:00,635 I play the ukulele, and I sing, too. 350 00:30:01,644 --> 00:30:05,444 I don't have much of a voice, but this isn't much of a band, either. 351 00:30:05,514 --> 00:30:07,414 I'm only with them cos I'm running away. 352 00:30:07,483 --> 00:30:11,385 - Running away from what? - Oh, don't get me started on that. 353 00:30:11,454 --> 00:30:13,615 Hey, you want some? It's bourbon. 354 00:30:14,223 --> 00:30:16,214 I'll take a rain check. 355 00:30:18,294 --> 00:30:22,822 I don't want you to think I'm a drinker. I can stop if I want to, only I don't want to. 356 00:30:22,898 --> 00:30:25,298 - Especially when I'm blue. - We understand. 357 00:30:25,368 --> 00:30:29,600 All the girls drink. But I'm the one that gets caught. Story of my life. 358 00:30:29,672 --> 00:30:32,266 I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop. 359 00:30:37,780 --> 00:30:39,372 Are my seams straight? 360 00:30:39,448 --> 00:30:41,279 I'll say. 361 00:30:43,352 --> 00:30:45,650 - See you around, girls. - Bye, Sugar. 362 00:30:46,922 --> 00:30:49,049 We have been playing with the wrong bands. 363 00:30:49,125 --> 00:30:51,992 - Down, Daphne. - See the shape of that liquor cabinet? 364 00:30:52,061 --> 00:30:54,962 Forget it. One false move and we're off the train. 365 00:30:55,030 --> 00:30:58,363 Then it's the police, the papers and the Mob in Chicago. 366 00:30:58,434 --> 00:31:01,733 Boy, would I love to borrow a cup of that Sugar. 367 00:31:01,804 --> 00:31:03,237 Look... 368 00:31:03,305 --> 00:31:06,638 No pastry, no butter - and no Sugar. 369 00:31:07,610 --> 00:31:09,601 You tore 'em again. 370 00:31:48,651 --> 00:31:52,451 Hey, Sheboygan. What was your last job? Playing square dances? 371 00:31:52,655 --> 00:31:54,646 No. Funerals. 372 00:31:54,723 --> 00:31:58,659 Would you mind rejoining the living? Goose it up a little. 373 00:31:58,727 --> 00:32:00,058 We'll try. 374 00:32:00,863 --> 00:32:02,558 How did those holes get there? 375 00:32:03,766 --> 00:32:05,427 Those? 376 00:32:06,402 --> 00:32:08,563 I don't know. 377 00:32:08,637 --> 00:32:10,332 Mice? 378 00:32:10,406 --> 00:32:14,740 All right, girls. Let's take it from the top. And put a little heat under it. 379 00:33:20,075 --> 00:33:21,906 Bienstock! 380 00:33:22,878 --> 00:33:24,209 Yes, Sue? 381 00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:28,614 I thought I made it clear that I don't want any drinking in this outfit. 382 00:33:34,256 --> 00:33:36,622 All right, girls. Who does this belong to? 383 00:33:36,692 --> 00:33:38,990 Come on, now. Speak up. 384 00:33:39,061 --> 00:33:41,655 - Sugar, I warned you... - Please, Mr Bienstock. 385 00:33:41,730 --> 00:33:45,131 I've had it. In Kansas you smuggled liquor in a shampoo bottle. 386 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,430 Before that you had a pint in your ukelele... 387 00:33:47,503 --> 00:33:49,198 Mr Bienstock, could I have my flask? 388 00:33:49,271 --> 00:33:52,297 Sure. Pack your things. At the next station... Your flask? 389 00:33:52,374 --> 00:33:55,810 Yes. Just a little bourbon. Must have slipped through. 390 00:33:56,812 --> 00:33:57,836 Give me that. 391 00:33:58,047 --> 00:34:00,845 Didn't you girls say you went to a conservatory? 392 00:34:01,016 --> 00:34:04,975 - Oh, yes. For a whole year. - I thought you said three years. 393 00:34:05,054 --> 00:34:07,352 We got time off for good behavior. 394 00:34:07,990 --> 00:34:13,986 There are two things I will not put up with during working hours: Liquor and men. 395 00:34:14,563 --> 00:34:17,361 - Men? - Don't worry about that. 396 00:34:17,433 --> 00:34:19,799 We wouldn't be caught dead with men. 397 00:34:19,868 --> 00:34:22,962 Rough, hairy beasts with eight hands. 398 00:34:23,038 --> 00:34:25,734 And they all just want one thing from a girl. 399 00:34:26,508 --> 00:34:29,443 I beg your pardon, miss. 400 00:34:29,645 --> 00:34:32,637 All right, girls. From the top again. 401 00:35:11,220 --> 00:35:13,586 - Hortense, dear, good night. - Good night, Daphne. 402 00:35:13,656 --> 00:35:16,420 - Maude, sweet dreams. - Good night, Daphne. 403 00:35:16,492 --> 00:35:18,221 Good night, Gloria. 404 00:35:18,293 --> 00:35:20,523 Dolores, you sleep tight, you hear? 405 00:35:22,197 --> 00:35:25,189 - Nighty-night, Emily. - Toodle-oo. 406 00:35:27,703 --> 00:35:29,694 How about that "toodle-oo." 407 00:35:30,372 --> 00:35:34,365 Steady, boy. Just keep tellin' yourself you're a girl. 408 00:35:34,443 --> 00:35:36,434 - I'm a girl. - You're a girl. 409 00:35:37,846 --> 00:35:40,815 I'm a girl. I'm a girl. 410 00:35:40,983 --> 00:35:42,974 I'm a... 411 00:35:46,388 --> 00:35:48,481 Get a load of that rhythm section. 412 00:35:50,059 --> 00:35:51,424 I'm a girl. 413 00:35:51,493 --> 00:35:53,518 I'm a girl. I'm a girl. 414 00:35:53,595 --> 00:35:55,586 I'm a girl. 415 00:35:57,433 --> 00:35:59,424 Good night, Sugar. 416 00:36:03,072 --> 00:36:05,063 Good night, honey. 417 00:36:06,608 --> 00:36:09,509 Honey? Hey, she called me "honey." 418 00:36:09,578 --> 00:36:11,273 Ooh, honey. 419 00:36:11,346 --> 00:36:14,645 - What are you doin'? - Just makin' sure honey stays in her hive. 420 00:36:14,717 --> 00:36:17,481 There'll be no buzzin' around tonight. 421 00:36:17,553 --> 00:36:20,454 Supposin' I gotta go... like for a drink of water or something. 422 00:36:20,522 --> 00:36:23,047 - Fight it. - Well, suppose I lose. 423 00:36:23,125 --> 00:36:27,118 - Suppose it's an emergency. - Pull the emergency brake. 424 00:36:28,897 --> 00:36:32,424 Hey, Bienstock. You know, there's something funny about those new girls. 425 00:36:32,501 --> 00:36:36,699 - Funny? In what way? - I don't know, but I can feel it right here. 426 00:36:36,772 --> 00:36:40,367 Having an ulcer is like having a burglar alarm go off inside you. 427 00:36:40,442 --> 00:36:43,275 You watch your ulcers, I'll watch those two. 428 00:36:43,345 --> 00:36:46,837 OK, everybody go to bed. Good night, girls. 429 00:36:47,816 --> 00:36:50,717 - Good night, Daphne. - Good night, Josephine. 430 00:36:59,495 --> 00:37:02,055 I'm a girl. I'm a girl. 431 00:37:02,131 --> 00:37:03,860 I wish I were dead. 432 00:37:03,932 --> 00:37:06,400 I'm a girl... I'm a girl... I'm a girl... 433 00:37:50,579 --> 00:37:52,410 Daphne. 434 00:38:02,524 --> 00:38:04,389 Sugar. 435 00:38:04,459 --> 00:38:08,225 I wanted to thank you for covering up for me. You're a real pal. 436 00:38:10,666 --> 00:38:12,634 It's nothing. 437 00:38:12,701 --> 00:38:15,397 I just thought that us girls should stick together. 438 00:38:15,470 --> 00:38:18,064 If it wasn't for you, they'd have kicked me off the train. 439 00:38:18,140 --> 00:38:21,303 I'd be out in the middle of nowhere, sitting on my ukulele. 440 00:38:22,411 --> 00:38:24,402 It's freezing outside. 441 00:38:24,479 --> 00:38:27,744 I mean, when I think about you and your poor ukulele... 442 00:38:28,050 --> 00:38:30,416 If there's ever anything I can do for you... 443 00:38:30,485 --> 00:38:32,476 I can think of a million things. 444 00:38:35,691 --> 00:38:37,682 That's one of 'em. 445 00:38:38,260 --> 00:38:40,251 It's Sweet Sue. 446 00:38:52,474 --> 00:38:54,635 I don't want her to know we're in cahoots. 447 00:38:54,710 --> 00:38:58,703 Oh, well, we won't tell anybody. Not even Josephine. 448 00:38:58,780 --> 00:39:01,578 Maybe I'd better stay here till she goes back to sleep. 449 00:39:01,650 --> 00:39:04,084 You stay here as long as you like. 450 00:39:07,389 --> 00:39:09,323 I'm not crowding you, am I? 451 00:39:09,391 --> 00:39:11,382 No. It's nice and cosy. 452 00:39:12,761 --> 00:39:17,357 When I was a little girl, on cold nights like this, I'd crawl into bed with my sister. 453 00:39:17,432 --> 00:39:20,731 We'd cuddle up under the covers and pretend we were lost in a dark cave 454 00:39:20,802 --> 00:39:22,963 and were trying to find our way out. 455 00:39:24,006 --> 00:39:25,997 Very interesting. 456 00:39:27,442 --> 00:39:30,434 - Anything wrong? - No, no. Not a thing. 457 00:39:32,881 --> 00:39:35,042 You poor thing. You're trembling all over. 458 00:39:35,117 --> 00:39:37,176 That's ridiculous. 459 00:39:37,252 --> 00:39:39,720 - Your head's hot. - That's ridiculous. 460 00:39:40,856 --> 00:39:43,154 - You've got cold feet. - Isn't that ridiculous? 461 00:39:43,225 --> 00:39:45,716 Here, let me warm them up a little. 462 00:39:45,794 --> 00:39:49,890 - There. Isn't that better? - Yes. I'm a girl... I'm a girl... 463 00:39:49,965 --> 00:39:52,263 - What? - I'm a very sick girl. 464 00:39:52,334 --> 00:39:54,996 - I'd better go before I catch something. - Not that sick. 465 00:39:55,070 --> 00:39:57,061 I've got very low resistance. 466 00:39:57,773 --> 00:40:01,209 Sugar, if you feel you're coming down with something, my dear, 467 00:40:01,276 --> 00:40:04,404 the best thing in the world is a shot of whiskey. 468 00:40:04,479 --> 00:40:07,448 - You've got some? - I know where to get it. 469 00:40:07,516 --> 00:40:09,074 Don't move. 470 00:40:09,751 --> 00:40:11,742 - Hold on. - OK. 471 00:40:33,942 --> 00:40:35,933 Up. Up. 472 00:40:41,416 --> 00:40:43,714 - Are you all right? - I'm fine. 473 00:40:43,885 --> 00:40:46,820 - How's the bottle? - Half-full. 474 00:40:48,123 --> 00:40:50,353 - You'd better get some cups. - Cups? 475 00:41:00,702 --> 00:41:04,536 Oh, I tell you, my dear, this is the only way to travel. 476 00:41:04,606 --> 00:41:07,234 Put on the lights. I can't see what I'm doing. 477 00:41:07,309 --> 00:41:10,005 No lights. We don't want them to know. 478 00:41:10,078 --> 00:41:12,478 - But I might spill some. - So spill it. 479 00:41:12,547 --> 00:41:15,948 Spills, thrills, laughs and games. 480 00:41:16,018 --> 00:41:18,350 This may even turn out to be a surprise party. 481 00:41:18,420 --> 00:41:21,048 - What's the surprise? - Not yet. 482 00:41:21,123 --> 00:41:24,058 - When? - Better have a drink first. 483 00:41:24,126 --> 00:41:25,889 That'll put hair on your chest. 484 00:41:25,961 --> 00:41:27,952 No fair guessing. 485 00:41:29,564 --> 00:41:31,259 Is this a private clambake? 486 00:41:31,333 --> 00:41:33,301 It's private. Please, go away. 487 00:41:33,368 --> 00:41:35,768 Dolores, do you still have that vermouth? 488 00:41:35,837 --> 00:41:37,737 - Sure. - Who needs vermouth? 489 00:41:37,806 --> 00:41:40,673 We've got bourbon. We can make Manhattans. 490 00:41:40,742 --> 00:41:43,176 Manhattans? At this time of night? 491 00:41:43,245 --> 00:41:45,941 - Bring the cocktail shaker. - Oh, Sugar. 492 00:41:46,014 --> 00:41:47,948 You're gonna spoil my surprise. 493 00:41:49,951 --> 00:41:52,511 - Hey, honey, what's up? - Party in upper 7. 494 00:41:52,587 --> 00:41:56,284 - I'll get cheese and crackers. - I'll get a shaker, you get a corkscrew. 495 00:41:56,358 --> 00:41:58,724 Hey, Rosella, there's a party in upper 7. 496 00:41:58,794 --> 00:42:00,785 - You got a corkscrew? - Stella has. 497 00:42:00,862 --> 00:42:03,456 Go get some paper cups. 498 00:42:03,532 --> 00:42:05,523 Hey, there's a party in upper 7. 499 00:42:11,073 --> 00:42:14,270 - Here's the vermouth. - This is a private party. Please go away. 500 00:42:14,342 --> 00:42:17,106 I brought some cheese and crackers. 501 00:42:17,179 --> 00:42:20,842 - Will ten cups be enough? - This is a party for two. Ten cups? 502 00:42:22,617 --> 00:42:26,883 - Please, girls. Will you stop this? - Could you use some Southern Comfort? 503 00:42:28,023 --> 00:42:31,481 Girls, you'll wake up the neighbors downstairs. 504 00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:33,858 Watch that corkscrew. 505 00:42:33,929 --> 00:42:37,160 - Here's a cracker. - No crackers in bed. 506 00:42:37,232 --> 00:42:39,757 Will you girls go away and form your own party? 507 00:42:39,968 --> 00:42:41,731 Here's the cocktail shaker. 508 00:42:41,803 --> 00:42:45,364 - I wish we had ice. - Easy on the vermouth. 509 00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:49,399 13 girls in a berth is bad luck. 12 of you will have to get out. 510 00:42:49,478 --> 00:42:53,141 - Pass me the peanut butter. - Anyone for salami? 511 00:42:53,215 --> 00:42:55,615 No more food. I'll have ants in the morning. 512 00:42:57,052 --> 00:43:00,112 Hey. Have you got any maraschino cherries on you? 513 00:43:00,755 --> 00:43:02,689 Never mind. 514 00:43:09,164 --> 00:43:11,155 Maraschino cherries? 515 00:43:20,242 --> 00:43:21,937 What's going on here? 516 00:43:22,010 --> 00:43:24,911 Daphne. Daphne, where are you? 517 00:43:26,581 --> 00:43:29,345 It's not my fault. I didn't invite 'em. 518 00:43:29,417 --> 00:43:31,408 Come on, girls, break it up. 519 00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:35,783 You heard Josephine. Girls. Everybody out. 520 00:43:36,691 --> 00:43:39,489 - Not you, Sugar. - I'm going to get some ice. 521 00:43:39,661 --> 00:43:41,595 Get out. 522 00:43:41,663 --> 00:43:44,496 That's right, Sugar. Now the rest of you. Out. 523 00:43:46,268 --> 00:43:48,828 - Come on in. The water's fine. - Have a Manhattan. 524 00:43:48,904 --> 00:43:52,567 - Pipe down. We'll all be fired. - Sugar. Don't leave me here alone. 525 00:43:52,641 --> 00:43:54,871 Come on, kids. It's two o'clock. 526 00:43:54,943 --> 00:43:59,346 You've had your fun. The party's over. Everybody go home. 527 00:43:59,414 --> 00:44:02,713 - What's this? - Josephine, over here before it melts. 528 00:44:09,691 --> 00:44:11,852 Put it here. 529 00:44:11,927 --> 00:44:14,521 Sugar, you're gonna get into a lot of trouble. 530 00:44:14,596 --> 00:44:16,063 You'd better keep a lookout. 531 00:44:16,131 --> 00:44:18,656 If Bienstock catches you again... 532 00:44:18,733 --> 00:44:20,826 What's the matter with you, anyway? 533 00:44:20,902 --> 00:44:23,029 I'm not very bright, I guess. 534 00:44:23,104 --> 00:44:25,265 I wouldn't say that. Careless, maybe. 535 00:44:25,340 --> 00:44:30,403 No, just dumb. If I had any brains, I wouldn't be with this crummy girls' band. 536 00:44:30,478 --> 00:44:32,309 Well, why'd you take this job? 537 00:44:32,380 --> 00:44:35,406 I used to sing with male bands, but I can't afford it anymore. 538 00:44:35,483 --> 00:44:38,043 Have you ever been with a male band? 539 00:44:38,119 --> 00:44:39,279 Who, me? 540 00:44:39,354 --> 00:44:41,015 That's what I'm running away from. 541 00:44:41,089 --> 00:44:44,786 I worked with six in the last two years. Oh, brother. 542 00:44:45,126 --> 00:44:46,650 - Rough? - I'll say. 543 00:44:46,728 --> 00:44:49,959 - You can't trust those guys. - I can't trust myself. 544 00:44:50,031 --> 00:44:52,625 I have this thing about saxophone players. 545 00:44:53,068 --> 00:44:55,059 Especially tenor sax. 546 00:44:56,705 --> 00:45:00,163 - Really? - I don't know why, but they curdle me. 547 00:45:00,242 --> 00:45:03,973 All they have to do is play eight bars of "Come To Me, My Melancholy Baby" 548 00:45:04,045 --> 00:45:07,845 and I get goose-pimply all over, and I come to 'em. 549 00:45:08,083 --> 00:45:10,074 - That so? - Every time. 550 00:45:11,953 --> 00:45:14,012 You know, I play tenor sax. 551 00:45:14,089 --> 00:45:18,185 But you're a girl - thank goodness. That's why I joined this band. 552 00:45:18,260 --> 00:45:21,752 Safety first. Anything to get away from those bums. 553 00:45:22,764 --> 00:45:25,665 You don't know what they're like. You fall for 'em. 554 00:45:25,734 --> 00:45:29,170 You think this is gonna be the biggest thing since the Graf Zeppelin. 555 00:45:29,237 --> 00:45:31,637 The next thing you know, they're borrowing money from you, 556 00:45:31,706 --> 00:45:34,402 spending it on other dames and betting on horses. 557 00:45:35,143 --> 00:45:36,132 You don't say. 558 00:45:36,478 --> 00:45:39,811 Then one morning you wake up, the guy's gone, the sax's gone. 559 00:45:39,881 --> 00:45:44,818 All that's left is a pair of old socks and a tube of toothpaste all squeezed out. 560 00:45:44,886 --> 00:45:49,380 You pull yourself together, you go on to the next job, the next saxophone player. 561 00:45:49,457 --> 00:45:51,652 It's the same thing all over again. 562 00:45:51,726 --> 00:45:54,889 You see what I mean? Not very bright. 563 00:45:55,797 --> 00:45:57,856 Brains aren't everything. 564 00:45:58,433 --> 00:46:02,096 I can tell you one thing. It's not gonna happen to me again - ever. 565 00:46:02,170 --> 00:46:05,230 I'm tired of getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop. 566 00:46:05,307 --> 00:46:09,641 Ice. What's keeping the ice? The natives are getting restless. 567 00:46:09,711 --> 00:46:12,407 - How about a couple of drinks for us? - Sure. 568 00:46:13,748 --> 00:46:16,717 - You know, I'm gonna be 25 in June. - You are? 569 00:46:16,785 --> 00:46:19,549 That's a quarter of a century. Makes a girl think. 570 00:46:19,621 --> 00:46:21,612 - About what? - The future. 571 00:46:21,690 --> 00:46:24,989 You know - like a husband. That's why I'm glad we're going to Florida. 572 00:46:25,060 --> 00:46:28,393 - What's in Florida? - Millionaires. Flocks of them. 573 00:46:28,463 --> 00:46:30,954 They all go south for the winter, like birds. 574 00:46:31,032 --> 00:46:34,399 - Gonna catch yourself a rich bird? - I don't care how rich he is. 575 00:46:34,469 --> 00:46:38,633 As long as he has a yacht, a private railroad car and his own toothpaste. 576 00:46:38,707 --> 00:46:42,074 - You're entitled. - Maybe you'll meet one too, Josephine. 577 00:46:42,143 --> 00:46:45,806 With money like Rockefeller and shoulders like Johnny Weissmuller. 578 00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:48,974 - I want mine to wear glasses. - Glasses? 579 00:46:49,050 --> 00:46:52,884 Men who wear glasses are so much more gentle and sweet and helpless. 580 00:46:52,954 --> 00:46:56,185 - Haven't you ever noticed it? - Yeah, now that you mention. 581 00:46:56,257 --> 00:46:59,124 They get those weak eyes from reading. 582 00:46:59,194 --> 00:47:03,631 Those long, tiny little columns in The Wall Street Journal. 583 00:47:04,265 --> 00:47:07,257 That bass fiddle, she sure knows how to throw a party. 584 00:47:07,335 --> 00:47:09,326 Hot-diggety-dog. 585 00:47:10,538 --> 00:47:12,529 Well, happy days. 586 00:47:13,108 --> 00:47:16,908 I hope this time you wind up with the sweet end of the lollipop. 587 00:47:20,882 --> 00:47:23,009 So the one-legged jockey said... 588 00:47:23,084 --> 00:47:24,949 What did he say? 589 00:47:25,019 --> 00:47:30,514 So the one-legged jockey said: "Don't worry about me, baby. I ride side-saddle." 590 00:47:37,799 --> 00:47:39,892 I'm terribly sorry. I seem to have hiccups. 591 00:47:39,968 --> 00:47:42,732 Hey, let's rub some ice on her neck. 592 00:47:42,804 --> 00:47:44,635 I think... Ow. You dropped it. 593 00:47:44,706 --> 00:47:46,367 Oh, that's cold. 594 00:47:46,441 --> 00:47:49,501 - Oh, no, please. Don't do that. - She's ticklish. 595 00:47:53,748 --> 00:47:56,649 Help. Please. Help. Help. 596 00:47:56,718 --> 00:47:58,208 Josephine. 597 00:47:58,286 --> 00:48:00,618 Please stop that. Stop that. 598 00:48:12,434 --> 00:48:14,595 - What happened? - Search me. 599 00:48:14,669 --> 00:48:16,660 I mean, I'll see. 600 00:48:27,248 --> 00:48:29,443 All right, what's goin' on around here? 601 00:48:29,517 --> 00:48:31,348 Bienstock! 602 00:48:32,620 --> 00:48:34,611 Are we in Florida? 603 00:49:19,801 --> 00:49:21,132 Sugar? 604 00:49:21,202 --> 00:49:23,534 Here. I'll carry the instruments. 605 00:49:23,605 --> 00:49:26,267 - Thank you, Daphne. - Thank you, Daphne. 606 00:49:26,341 --> 00:49:28,332 Isn't she a sweetheart? 607 00:49:34,849 --> 00:49:36,840 How do you do? 608 00:49:39,921 --> 00:49:41,320 Zowie! 609 00:49:41,389 --> 00:49:44,916 There they are. More millionaires than you can shake a stick at. 610 00:49:44,993 --> 00:49:46,984 I bet there isn't one under 75. 611 00:49:47,061 --> 00:49:50,462 That's three quarters of a century. Makes a girl think. 612 00:49:50,532 --> 00:49:53,194 Let's hope they brought their grandsons along. 613 00:49:53,268 --> 00:49:54,997 Yes. 614 00:50:04,212 --> 00:50:06,203 Pardon me, miss. 615 00:50:07,882 --> 00:50:10,043 - May I? - Help yourself. 616 00:50:10,118 --> 00:50:12,712 I'm Osgood Fielding the Third. 617 00:50:13,454 --> 00:50:14,944 I'm Cinderella the Second. 618 00:50:15,089 --> 00:50:19,116 If there's one thing I admire, it's a girl with a shapely ankle. 619 00:50:20,328 --> 00:50:22,319 Me, too. Bye-bye. 620 00:50:22,964 --> 00:50:26,195 - Let me carry one of the instruments. - Oh, thank you. 621 00:50:26,267 --> 00:50:28,258 Aren't you a sweetheart. 622 00:50:33,641 --> 00:50:36,542 It certainly is delightful having young blood around here. 623 00:50:36,611 --> 00:50:38,442 Personally, I'm type O. 624 00:50:38,513 --> 00:50:40,811 I've always been fascinated by show business. 625 00:50:40,882 --> 00:50:42,713 Is that so? 626 00:50:42,784 --> 00:50:45,947 As a matter of fact, it's cost my family quite a bit of money. 627 00:50:46,020 --> 00:50:48,989 - Oh, you invest in shows? - Showgirls. 628 00:50:49,057 --> 00:50:51,992 - I've been married seven or eight times. - You're not sure? 629 00:50:52,060 --> 00:50:54,051 Mama is keeping score. 630 00:50:54,128 --> 00:50:57,154 - She's getting annoyed with me. - I wouldn't wonder. 631 00:50:57,231 --> 00:51:00,826 So when George White's Scandals opened, she packed me off to Florida. 632 00:51:00,902 --> 00:51:05,839 She thinks I'm out on my yacht, deep-sea fishing. 633 00:51:06,608 --> 00:51:11,068 Well, pull in your reel, Mr Fielding. You're barking up the wrong fish. 634 00:51:12,614 --> 00:51:15,583 If I promise not to be a naughty boy, how about dinner? 635 00:51:15,883 --> 00:51:18,852 - I'm sorry. I'll be on the bandstand. - Oh, of course. 636 00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:21,411 - Which instrument do you play? - Bull fiddle. 637 00:51:21,489 --> 00:51:23,252 Oh, fascinating. 638 00:51:23,324 --> 00:51:26,384 Do you use a bow, or do you just pluck it? 639 00:51:26,461 --> 00:51:28,622 Most of the time, I slap it. 640 00:51:30,131 --> 00:51:32,099 You must be quite a girl. 641 00:51:32,166 --> 00:51:34,134 Wanna bet? 642 00:51:34,302 --> 00:51:38,033 My last wife was an acrobatic dancer. Sort of a contortionist. 643 00:51:38,106 --> 00:51:41,769 She could smoke a cigarette while holding it between her toes. 644 00:51:41,843 --> 00:51:43,071 Zowie! 645 00:51:43,144 --> 00:51:45,578 - But Mama broke it up. - Why? 646 00:51:45,647 --> 00:51:47,638 She doesn't approve of girls who smoke. 647 00:51:49,917 --> 00:51:51,908 - Bye-bye, Mr Fielding. - Bye-bye? 648 00:51:51,986 --> 00:51:55,285 - This is where I get off. - Oh, no. No, no, no. 649 00:51:55,356 --> 00:51:57,517 You don't get off that easy. 650 00:51:57,592 --> 00:52:00,152 All right, driver. Once around the park, slowly. 651 00:52:00,228 --> 00:52:02,219 And keep your eyes on the road. 652 00:52:12,273 --> 00:52:15,265 What kind of a girl do you think I am, Mr Fielding? 653 00:52:16,611 --> 00:52:19,546 - Oh, please. It won't happen again. - I'll say. 654 00:52:19,614 --> 00:52:22,242 - Please, come back. - I'll walk, thank you. 655 00:52:22,316 --> 00:52:24,307 Please, miss... 656 00:52:26,988 --> 00:52:28,751 Zowie! 657 00:52:28,823 --> 00:52:31,621 All right, girls. Here are your room assignments. 658 00:52:31,693 --> 00:52:34,628 My glasses. Where are my glasses? 659 00:52:35,563 --> 00:52:37,554 Olga and Mary Lou are in 412. 660 00:52:37,632 --> 00:52:41,227 And, Mary Lou, do up your kimono when you ring for room service. 661 00:52:41,302 --> 00:52:43,600 Josephine and Daphne are in 413. 662 00:52:43,671 --> 00:52:46,799 - Dolores and Sugar in 414. - Me and Sugar? 663 00:52:46,874 --> 00:52:49,502 What did you expect? A one-legged jockey? 664 00:52:49,577 --> 00:52:51,135 Rosella and Emily in 415... 665 00:52:51,913 --> 00:52:54,541 - I wish they'd put us in the same room. - So do I. 666 00:52:54,615 --> 00:52:59,109 But don't worry about it, Sugar. We'll see a lot of each other. 667 00:52:59,187 --> 00:53:03,783 414... That's the same room number I had in Cincinnati, 668 00:53:03,858 --> 00:53:06,190 my last time around with a male band. 669 00:53:06,260 --> 00:53:07,955 What a heel he was. 670 00:53:08,029 --> 00:53:11,795 - A saxophone player? - What else? Was I ever crazy about him. 671 00:53:11,866 --> 00:53:14,960 At two in the morning he sent me down for hot dogs and potato salad. 672 00:53:15,036 --> 00:53:17,732 They were out of potato salad, so I brought coleslaw. 673 00:53:17,805 --> 00:53:21,707 - So he threw it right in my face. - Forget saxophone players. 674 00:53:21,776 --> 00:53:24,404 You're gonna meet a millionaire - a young one. 675 00:53:24,479 --> 00:53:27,812 - What makes you so sure? - My feminine intuition. 676 00:53:36,290 --> 00:53:38,281 Oh. Are these your bags? 677 00:53:39,627 --> 00:53:43,723 - And that one, too. - OK, doll. 678 00:53:43,798 --> 00:53:47,165 - I suppose you want a tip. - Forget it, doll. 679 00:53:47,235 --> 00:53:52,537 After all, you work here and I work here. It's nice to have you with the organization. 680 00:53:52,607 --> 00:53:54,734 - Bye-bye. - Listen, doll. 681 00:53:54,809 --> 00:53:57,937 - What time do you get off tonight? - Why? 682 00:53:58,012 --> 00:54:01,243 I'm workin' the night shift and I got a bottle of gin stashed away. 683 00:54:01,315 --> 00:54:04,876 - When there's a lull... - Aren't you a little young for that, sonny? 684 00:54:04,952 --> 00:54:08,752 Oh, you wanna see my driver's license? 685 00:54:09,323 --> 00:54:14,260 - Get lost, will you? - That's the way I like 'em - big and sassy. 686 00:54:15,396 --> 00:54:17,728 Oh, and... get rid of your roommate. 687 00:54:33,110 --> 00:54:34,805 - Dirty old man. - What happened? 688 00:54:34,878 --> 00:54:38,314 - I got pinched in the elevator. - See how the other half lives? 689 00:54:38,382 --> 00:54:39,747 I'm not even pretty. 690 00:54:39,817 --> 00:54:44,049 They don't care. You're wearing a skirt. It's like waving a red flag to a bull. 691 00:54:44,121 --> 00:54:47,613 I'm sick of being the flag. I wanna be a bull again. 692 00:54:47,691 --> 00:54:49,318 - Let's blow. - Blow where? 693 00:54:49,393 --> 00:54:52,692 You promised me that the minute we hit Florida we'd beat it. 694 00:54:52,763 --> 00:54:57,166 - How can we? We're broke. - We can find another band. A male band. 695 00:54:57,234 --> 00:55:02,137 Spats Colombo is looking for us in every male band in the country. 696 00:55:02,206 --> 00:55:05,471 - It's humiliating. - So you got pinched. So what? 697 00:55:05,542 --> 00:55:08,102 Would you rather be picking lead out of your navel? 698 00:55:08,178 --> 00:55:10,408 But how long can we keep this up? 699 00:55:10,481 --> 00:55:12,949 What's the beef? We're sittin' pretty. 700 00:55:13,016 --> 00:55:16,645 Look. We get room and board. We're getting paid every week. Look. 701 00:55:16,720 --> 00:55:19,314 Look at the palm trees, flying fish... 702 00:55:19,390 --> 00:55:21,585 What are you givin' me with flyin' fish? 703 00:55:21,658 --> 00:55:24,092 I know why you wanna stay. You're after Sugar. 704 00:55:24,161 --> 00:55:27,153 - Me, after Sugar? - I saw the both of you in that bus. 705 00:55:27,231 --> 00:55:31,327 All lovey-dovey and whisperin' and borrowin' each other's lipstick. 706 00:55:31,402 --> 00:55:33,893 - What are you saying? Me and Sugar? - You and Sugar. 707 00:55:33,971 --> 00:55:37,771 - We're just like sisters. - Well, I'm your fairy godmother. 708 00:55:37,841 --> 00:55:39,832 And I'm gonna keep an eye on you. 709 00:55:41,278 --> 00:55:43,269 Are you decent? 710 00:55:48,519 --> 00:55:50,510 Come in. 711 00:55:51,188 --> 00:55:54,248 You girls seen a brown bag with a white stripe and my initials? 712 00:55:54,324 --> 00:55:56,224 It has all my resort clothes. 713 00:55:56,460 --> 00:55:58,792 - No, we haven't. - I can't understand it. 714 00:55:58,862 --> 00:56:01,626 First my glasses disappear, then one of my suitcases. 715 00:56:01,698 --> 00:56:03,666 - Where's my ukulele? - Now a ukulele. 716 00:56:03,734 --> 00:56:08,467 - There must be a sneak thief round here. - Oh. Here it is. Hi, Sug. 717 00:56:08,539 --> 00:56:12,339 - We're going for a swim. Coming? - A swim. Oh, you betcha. 718 00:56:12,409 --> 00:56:15,173 You haven't got a bathing suit. 719 00:56:15,245 --> 00:56:16,837 I don't have one either. 720 00:56:16,914 --> 00:56:21,044 - She doesn't have one either. You don't? - We can rent some at the bathhouse. 721 00:56:21,118 --> 00:56:24,781 - How about you, Josephine? - I think I'll soak in a hot tub. 722 00:56:24,855 --> 00:56:29,224 - On a day like this? It's lovely out. - Yeah, well, let her soak. Come on. 723 00:56:29,293 --> 00:56:32,660 - Don't get burned, Daphne. - Oh, I've got suntan lotion. 724 00:56:32,729 --> 00:56:37,598 See? She'll rub it on me, I'll rub it on her, we'll rub it on each other. Bye-bye. 725 00:57:40,130 --> 00:57:43,998 Daphne. Cut it out. What do you think you're doing? 726 00:57:44,067 --> 00:57:47,161 Just a little trick I picked up in the elevator. 727 00:57:47,237 --> 00:57:49,398 Ooh, look out. Here comes a big one. 728 00:58:20,871 --> 00:58:23,806 Daphne. I had no idea you were such a big girl. 729 00:58:23,874 --> 00:58:26,570 You should've seen me before I went on a diet. 730 00:58:26,643 --> 00:58:29,009 I mean your shoulders and your arms. 731 00:58:29,079 --> 00:58:31,309 It's carrying that bull fiddle around. 732 00:58:31,381 --> 00:58:33,645 - There's one thing I envy you for. - What's that? 733 00:58:33,717 --> 00:58:35,912 You're so flat-chested. 734 00:58:35,986 --> 00:58:39,114 Clothes hang better on you than they do on me. 735 00:58:39,189 --> 00:58:41,214 Watch out, Daphne. 736 00:58:41,291 --> 00:58:43,759 Sugar, come on. Let's play ball. 737 00:58:45,295 --> 00:58:46,853 Junior, time for your nap. 738 00:58:46,930 --> 00:58:49,455 No. I wanna play. 739 00:58:49,533 --> 00:58:51,831 You heard your mother, Junior. Scram! 740 00:58:51,902 --> 00:58:54,632 This beach ain't big enough for the both of us. 741 00:58:54,705 --> 00:58:57,230 Mommy! 742 00:58:57,307 --> 00:58:58,535 Here we go. 743 00:58:58,609 --> 00:59:02,045 I like coffee, I like tea. 744 00:59:02,112 --> 00:59:05,809 How many boys are stuck on me? 745 00:59:05,882 --> 00:59:08,976 One, two, three, 746 00:59:09,052 --> 00:59:12,488 four, five, six, seven... 747 00:59:18,295 --> 00:59:21,059 I'm terribly sorry. You're not hurt, are you? 748 00:59:21,131 --> 00:59:23,793 - I don't think so. - I wish you'd make sure. 749 00:59:23,867 --> 00:59:25,835 Because when people find out who I am, 750 00:59:25,902 --> 00:59:31,101 they hire a shyster lawyer and sue me for three quarters of a million dollars. 751 00:59:31,174 --> 00:59:34,337 - I won't sue you, no matter who you are. - Thank you. 752 00:59:36,780 --> 00:59:39,578 - Who are you? - Now, really! 753 00:59:41,284 --> 00:59:43,343 Sugar! 754 00:59:43,420 --> 00:59:45,081 Come on. 755 00:59:45,155 --> 00:59:46,486 Honestly. 756 00:59:47,924 --> 00:59:49,585 Cheerio. 757 00:59:54,665 --> 00:59:57,725 - Haven't I seen you somewhere before? - Not very likely. 758 00:59:57,801 --> 01:00:00,565 - Are you staying at the hotel? - Not at all. 759 01:00:00,637 --> 01:00:02,332 Your face is familiar. 760 01:00:02,406 --> 01:00:05,466 You may have seen it in newspapers or magazines. 761 01:00:05,542 --> 01:00:07,533 - Vanity Fair. - That must be it. 762 01:00:08,412 --> 01:00:11,870 Would you mind moving a little? You're blocking my view. 763 01:00:11,948 --> 01:00:13,176 Of what? 764 01:00:13,250 --> 01:00:17,243 They run up a red-and-white flag on the yacht when it's time for cocktails. 765 01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:19,311 You own a yacht? 766 01:00:20,357 --> 01:00:22,518 Which one is it? The big one? 767 01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:24,058 Certainly not. 768 01:00:24,127 --> 01:00:27,995 With all the world unrest, nobody should have a yacht that sleeps more than 12. 769 01:00:29,132 --> 01:00:31,032 I quite agree. 770 01:00:31,101 --> 01:00:33,296 Tell me, who runs up that flag? 771 01:00:33,370 --> 01:00:35,497 - Your wife? - No, my flag steward. 772 01:00:36,473 --> 01:00:38,873 Who mixes the cocktails? Your wife? 773 01:00:39,509 --> 01:00:41,704 No, my cocktail steward. 774 01:00:41,778 --> 01:00:44,372 If you're interested in whether I am married or not... 775 01:00:44,548 --> 01:00:47,278 - Oh, I'm not interested at all. - Well, I'm not. 776 01:00:47,951 --> 01:00:50,112 That's very interesting. 777 01:00:53,623 --> 01:00:56,114 - How's the stock market? - Up, up, up. 778 01:00:56,193 --> 01:00:58,923 I'll bet while we were talking, you made $100,000? 779 01:00:58,995 --> 01:01:01,088 Could be. You play the market? 780 01:01:01,164 --> 01:01:04,565 - No, the ukulele. And I sing, too. - For your own amusement? 781 01:01:04,634 --> 01:01:06,602 We are appearing at the hotel. 782 01:01:06,670 --> 01:01:08,900 Sweet Sue and her Society Syncopators. 783 01:01:08,972 --> 01:01:13,534 - You're society girls. - Oh, yes, quite. Bryn Mawr, Vassar... 784 01:01:13,610 --> 01:01:15,635 We're just doing this for a lark. 785 01:01:16,179 --> 01:01:20,411 Syncopators. Does that mean you play that very fast music... jazz? 786 01:01:20,484 --> 01:01:22,475 Yeah. Real hot. 787 01:01:23,553 --> 01:01:27,785 I guess some like it hot. I personally prefer classical music. 788 01:01:27,858 --> 01:01:28,825 I do, too. 789 01:01:28,892 --> 01:01:33,852 As a matter of fact, I spent three years at the Sheboygan Conservatory of Music. 790 01:01:33,930 --> 01:01:37,923 Good school. Your family doesn't object to your career? 791 01:01:38,235 --> 01:01:41,329 They do indeed. Daddy threatened to cut me off without a cent. 792 01:01:41,404 --> 01:01:43,372 But I don't care. It was such a bore. 793 01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:45,806 - Coming-out parties. - Inauguration balls. 794 01:01:45,876 --> 01:01:47,969 - Opening at the opera. - Riding to hounds. 795 01:01:48,044 --> 01:01:50,035 And always the same 400. 796 01:01:51,047 --> 01:01:53,845 It's amazing we never ran into each other before. 797 01:01:53,917 --> 01:01:56,909 I'd have remembered anybody as attractive as you. 798 01:01:56,987 --> 01:02:01,117 You're very kind. I'll bet you're also gentle and helpless. 799 01:02:01,191 --> 01:02:02,385 I beg your pardon? 800 01:02:02,459 --> 01:02:05,019 You see, I have a theory about men who wear glasses. 801 01:02:05,095 --> 01:02:08,428 - What theory? - I'll tell you when I know you better. 802 01:02:08,498 --> 01:02:11,365 - What are you doing tonight? - Tonight? 803 01:02:11,434 --> 01:02:14,301 Maybe you could come to the hotel and hear us play. 804 01:02:14,371 --> 01:02:17,704 - I'd like to, but that would be difficult. - Why? 805 01:02:17,774 --> 01:02:21,039 I only come ashore twice a day when the tide goes out. 806 01:02:21,211 --> 01:02:24,203 It's on account of these shells. That's my hobby. 807 01:02:24,281 --> 01:02:27,216 - You collect shells? - So did my father and grandfather. 808 01:02:27,284 --> 01:02:29,844 You might say we had a passion for shells. 809 01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:32,388 That's why we named the oil company after it. 810 01:02:33,924 --> 01:02:38,486 - Shell Oil? - Please, no names. Just call me Junior. 811 01:02:38,562 --> 01:02:41,053 Sugar! 812 01:02:41,131 --> 01:02:42,621 Time to change for dinner. 813 01:02:42,699 --> 01:02:45,634 Run along, Daphne dear. I'll catch up with you later. 814 01:02:56,713 --> 01:02:59,113 What, young lady? What are you staring at? 815 01:02:59,182 --> 01:03:01,013 Happens to me all the time. 816 01:03:01,084 --> 01:03:04,281 I recognized him, too. His picture was in Vanity Fair. 817 01:03:04,354 --> 01:03:07,915 - Would you move along, please? - Yes. You're in his way. 818 01:03:07,991 --> 01:03:10,516 He's waiting for a signal from his yacht. 819 01:03:10,594 --> 01:03:12,459 His yacht? 820 01:03:12,529 --> 01:03:16,329 It sleeps 12. This is my friend Daphne. She's a Vassar girl. 821 01:03:16,900 --> 01:03:18,094 I'm a what? 822 01:03:18,168 --> 01:03:20,159 Or was it Bryn Mawr? 823 01:03:21,872 --> 01:03:25,308 I heard a very sad story about a girl who went to Bryn Mawr. 824 01:03:25,375 --> 01:03:27,036 She squealed on her roommate 825 01:03:27,110 --> 01:03:30,375 and they found her strangled with her own brassiere. 826 01:03:30,447 --> 01:03:35,714 Yes. We have to be very careful whom we pick for a roommate. Hm? 827 01:03:35,919 --> 01:03:37,546 Well, I think I'd better be going. 828 01:03:37,621 --> 01:03:40,215 It was delightful meeting you both. 829 01:03:40,290 --> 01:03:43,157 - You will come and hear us play? - If it's at all possible. 830 01:03:43,226 --> 01:03:45,854 Do come. It'll be such fun. 831 01:03:45,929 --> 01:03:48,454 - And bring your yacht. - Come on, Daphne. 832 01:03:54,838 --> 01:03:59,070 - How about that guy?! - Hands off. I saw him first. 833 01:03:59,142 --> 01:04:04,307 Sugar, a little advice. If I were a girl, and I am, I'd watch my step. 834 01:04:04,381 --> 01:04:07,043 If I'd been watching my step, I never would have met him. 835 01:04:07,117 --> 01:04:11,144 - I can't wait to tell Josephine. - Yeah, Josephine... 836 01:04:11,221 --> 01:04:13,917 I can't wait to see her face. Will she be surprised. 837 01:04:13,990 --> 01:04:16,584 Neither can I. Let's go tell her right now. 838 01:04:16,660 --> 01:04:18,890 - We don't have to run. - Oh yes, we do. 839 01:04:27,938 --> 01:04:29,929 Josephine. Yoo-hoo. 840 01:04:30,874 --> 01:04:33,672 - I guess she's not here. - Isn't that funny. Josie! 841 01:04:33,743 --> 01:04:35,643 I can't imagine where she'd be. 842 01:04:35,712 --> 01:04:37,737 - I'll be back later. - Oh, no. You wait. 843 01:04:37,814 --> 01:04:40,009 I have a feeling she'll show up any minute. 844 01:04:40,083 --> 01:04:44,611 - Believe it or not, Josephine predicted it. - Yes. This is one for Ripley. 845 01:04:44,688 --> 01:04:47,282 - Do you suppose she went shopping? - Shopping. That's it. 846 01:04:47,357 --> 01:04:52,124 Something tells me she's gonna come through that door in a brand-new outfit. 847 01:05:05,608 --> 01:05:09,044 - Josephine. - Oh. I didn't hear you come in. 848 01:05:15,885 --> 01:05:20,447 - Have a good time, girls? - The most wonderful thing happened. 849 01:05:20,523 --> 01:05:22,252 - What? - Guess. 850 01:05:22,325 --> 01:05:26,785 - They repealed Prohibition? - Oh, you can do better than that. 851 01:05:27,430 --> 01:05:29,557 - I met one of them. - One of whom? 852 01:05:29,632 --> 01:05:34,001 Shell Oil Junior. He's got millions, glasses and a yacht. 853 01:05:34,070 --> 01:05:35,230 You don't say. 854 01:05:35,305 --> 01:05:37,466 He's not only got a yacht. He's got a bicycle. 855 01:05:37,874 --> 01:05:39,466 Daphne. 856 01:05:39,542 --> 01:05:41,874 Go on. Tell me all about him. 857 01:05:41,945 --> 01:05:45,073 Well, he's young and he's handsome. He's a bachelor. 858 01:05:45,148 --> 01:05:49,778 He's a real gentleman. You know. Not one of these grabbers. 859 01:05:49,853 --> 01:05:52,481 Maybe you'd better go after him if you don't want to lose him. 860 01:05:52,555 --> 01:05:56,582 I'm not gonna let this one get away. He's so cute. He collects shells. 861 01:05:56,659 --> 01:05:59,184 Shells? Whatever for? 862 01:05:59,462 --> 01:06:01,453 Oh, you know. The old shell game? 863 01:06:02,665 --> 01:06:04,326 Daphne, you're bothering us. 864 01:06:04,567 --> 01:06:07,092 - Anyway, you're gonna meet him tonight. - I am? 865 01:06:07,170 --> 01:06:09,502 He said he'd come to hear us play - maybe. 866 01:06:09,873 --> 01:06:14,401 What do you mean, maybe? I saw how he looked at you. He'll be there for sure. 867 01:06:14,477 --> 01:06:15,409 I hope so. 868 01:06:15,478 --> 01:06:19,505 What do you think, Josephine? What does your crystal ball say? 869 01:06:20,050 --> 01:06:22,644 Sugar. Is Sugar in here? 870 01:06:23,453 --> 01:06:27,549 Sugar, you got the key? I'm locked out and I'm makin' a puddle in the hall. 871 01:06:27,590 --> 01:06:29,558 See you on the bandstand, girls. 872 01:06:33,997 --> 01:06:37,398 What are you tryin' to do to that girl, puttin' on a millionaire act? 873 01:06:37,467 --> 01:06:41,870 And that phony accent? Nobody talks like that. 874 01:06:41,938 --> 01:06:43,929 I've seen you pull some low tricks on women. 875 01:06:44,007 --> 01:06:47,602 This is without doubt the trickiest, lowest, meanest... 876 01:06:53,917 --> 01:06:56,579 I'm not afraid of you. 877 01:06:58,354 --> 01:06:59,912 I'm thin, but I'm wiry. 878 01:06:59,989 --> 01:07:03,288 You're gonna get hurt. When I'm aroused, I'm a tiger. 879 01:07:04,127 --> 01:07:08,530 Joe. Don't look at me like that. It was all a joke. I didn't mean any harm. 880 01:07:09,132 --> 01:07:12,363 I'm gonna press the suit myself. Telephone. 881 01:07:12,435 --> 01:07:14,426 Answer the tele... phone. 882 01:07:19,042 --> 01:07:20,873 Hello? 883 01:07:21,945 --> 01:07:23,936 Yes, this is 413. 884 01:07:24,447 --> 01:07:27,814 Ship to shore? All right, I'll take it. 885 01:07:28,051 --> 01:07:30,645 Daphne? It's that naughty boy again. 886 01:07:30,720 --> 01:07:33,052 You know - Osgood? In the elevator? 887 01:07:33,123 --> 01:07:35,114 You slapped my face? 888 01:07:37,260 --> 01:07:39,888 - Who is this? - This is her roommate. 889 01:07:39,963 --> 01:07:42,261 Daphne can't talk right now. Is it urgent? 890 01:07:42,332 --> 01:07:44,800 Well, it is to me. Will you give her a message? 891 01:07:44,868 --> 01:07:49,464 Tell her I'd like her to have supper with me on my yacht after the show tonight. 892 01:07:49,739 --> 01:07:53,038 Got it. Supper, yacht, after the show. I'll tell her. 893 01:07:53,109 --> 01:07:56,875 - Your yacht? - The New Caledonia. That's its name. 894 01:07:56,946 --> 01:08:01,508 The Old Caledonia went down during a wild party off Cape Hatteras. 895 01:08:01,584 --> 01:08:06,886 But tell her not to worry. This'll be a quiet little midnight snack, just the two of us. 896 01:08:08,191 --> 01:08:11,627 Just the two of you? What about the crew? 897 01:08:11,861 --> 01:08:15,524 That's all been taken care of. I'm giving them shore leave. 898 01:08:16,232 --> 01:08:18,530 We'll have cold pheasant with champagne. 899 01:08:18,601 --> 01:08:22,503 I've checked with the coastguard. There's gonna be a full moon tonight. 900 01:08:22,572 --> 01:08:27,236 And tell her I've got a new batch of Rudy Vallee records. 901 01:08:29,212 --> 01:08:32,545 That's good thinking. Daphne's a pushover for him. 902 01:08:32,615 --> 01:08:34,606 Pushover for who? What... 903 01:08:35,251 --> 01:08:37,481 Yes, Mr Fielding. 904 01:08:37,554 --> 01:08:41,456 You'll pick her up after the show in your motorboat. Goodbye. 905 01:08:41,524 --> 01:08:44,118 What's that you said? 906 01:08:44,194 --> 01:08:47,891 - "Zowie." I'll give her the message. - What message? What motorboat? 907 01:08:47,964 --> 01:08:52,333 You got it made. Fielding wants to have cold pheasant with you on his yacht. 908 01:08:52,402 --> 01:08:56,065 Just the three of you on that great big boat. You, him and Rudy Vallee. 909 01:08:56,139 --> 01:08:58,505 Fat chance. Call him back and say I'm not goin'. 910 01:08:58,575 --> 01:09:00,372 Of course you're not. 911 01:09:00,443 --> 01:09:02,434 I'm going. 912 01:09:03,413 --> 01:09:06,007 You're gonna be on the boat with that dirty old man? 913 01:09:06,082 --> 01:09:08,744 I'm gonna be on the boat with Sugar. 914 01:09:08,818 --> 01:09:11,548 - Where's he gonna be? - He's gonna be ashore with you. 915 01:09:11,621 --> 01:09:13,179 - With me? - That's right. 916 01:09:13,256 --> 01:09:16,419 Oh, no. Not tonight, Josephine. 917 01:10:32,335 --> 01:10:34,860 Daphne, your boyfriend's waving at you. 918 01:10:35,672 --> 01:10:37,640 You can both go take a flyin' jump. 919 01:10:37,707 --> 01:10:40,699 Remember, he's your date for tonight, so smile. 920 01:10:42,945 --> 01:10:47,609 Oh, you can do better than that. Give him the teeth, the whole personality. 921 01:10:56,826 --> 01:10:59,454 Why do I let you talk me into these things? Why? 922 01:10:59,529 --> 01:11:02,362 Because we're pals. The two musketeers. 923 01:11:02,432 --> 01:11:06,266 Don't give me the musketeers. How am I gonna keep him ashore? 924 01:11:06,336 --> 01:11:09,271 Tell him you get seasick. Play miniature golf with him. 925 01:11:09,339 --> 01:11:13,673 Oh, no. I'm not gonna get caught in a miniature sand trap with that guy. 926 01:11:18,648 --> 01:11:20,946 Hi. Which of you dolls is Daphne? 927 01:11:21,017 --> 01:11:22,678 Bull fiddle. 928 01:11:22,752 --> 01:11:25,084 From satchel mouth at table seven. 929 01:11:30,259 --> 01:11:33,956 - This is from me to you, doll. - Beat it, buster. 930 01:11:34,030 --> 01:11:37,158 Never mind leaving your door open. I got a passkey. 931 01:11:43,573 --> 01:11:48,135 - What are you doin' with my flowers? - Borrowing 'em. You'll get 'em back. 932 01:12:17,507 --> 01:12:20,499 I guess he's not gonna show up. It's five minutes to one. 933 01:12:20,576 --> 01:12:24,103 - Do you suppose he forgot? - You know how those millionaires are. 934 01:12:24,180 --> 01:12:26,148 These came for you. 935 01:12:26,215 --> 01:12:28,149 For me? 936 01:12:29,886 --> 01:12:31,080 It's Shell Oil. 937 01:12:31,154 --> 01:12:33,486 - No! - Yes! 938 01:12:33,556 --> 01:12:35,956 He wants to have supper with me on his yacht. 939 01:12:36,025 --> 01:12:37,515 He's picking me up at the pier. 940 01:12:37,593 --> 01:12:39,322 - No! - Yes. 941 01:12:39,395 --> 01:12:40,794 You heard her - yes. 942 01:12:40,863 --> 01:12:45,823 Josephine, just imagine. Me, Sugar Kowalczyk from Sandusky, Ohio, 943 01:12:45,902 --> 01:12:47,767 on a millionaire's yacht. 944 01:12:47,837 --> 01:12:50,635 If my mother could only see me now. 945 01:12:53,009 --> 01:12:55,307 I hope my mother never finds out. 946 01:12:56,746 --> 01:13:00,113 That's it for tonight. This is Sweet Sue saying good night, 947 01:13:00,183 --> 01:13:05,917 reminding all you daddies out there that every girl in my band is a virtuoso. 948 01:13:05,988 --> 01:13:07,979 And I intend to keep it that way. 949 01:13:14,797 --> 01:13:16,788 - Good luck. - Thanks. 950 01:14:46,889 --> 01:14:49,790 But it's such a waste. A full moon, an empty yacht. 951 01:14:49,859 --> 01:14:52,191 - I'll throw up. - Then let's go dancing. 952 01:14:52,261 --> 01:14:54,661 There's a roadhouse down the coast... 953 01:14:59,101 --> 01:15:02,070 Well, I'll be... He does have a bicycle. 954 01:15:02,138 --> 01:15:04,038 Who? 955 01:15:04,106 --> 01:15:06,370 About the roadhouse? 956 01:15:06,442 --> 01:15:08,569 They have a Cuban band that's the berries. 957 01:15:08,644 --> 01:15:12,774 Let's go there, blindfold the orchestra and tango till dawn. 958 01:15:12,848 --> 01:15:14,941 - You know something, Mr Fielding? - What? 959 01:15:15,017 --> 01:15:17,042 You're dynamite. 960 01:15:17,119 --> 01:15:20,282 You're a pretty hot little firecracker yourself. 961 01:16:12,675 --> 01:16:14,666 Ahoy, there. 962 01:16:15,811 --> 01:16:17,472 Ahoy. 963 01:16:26,288 --> 01:16:28,552 - Been waiting long? - It's not how long you wait. 964 01:16:28,624 --> 01:16:32,526 - It's who you're waiting for. - Thank you. And for the flowers. 965 01:16:32,595 --> 01:16:37,794 I wanted them to fly orchids from our greenhouse, but Long Island is fogged in. 966 01:16:37,867 --> 01:16:39,960 It's the thought that counts. 967 01:16:47,109 --> 01:16:48,974 I seem to be out of gas. 968 01:16:49,045 --> 01:16:53,106 It's sort of funny, you being out of gas. I mean, Shell Oil and everything. 969 01:16:53,182 --> 01:16:55,173 Oops. There. 970 01:17:00,489 --> 01:17:02,684 It seems to be stuck in reverse. 971 01:17:04,193 --> 01:17:07,594 I just got this motorboat. It's an experimental model. 972 01:17:07,663 --> 01:17:09,654 It seems like they're on the wrong track. 973 01:17:09,732 --> 01:17:12,792 Do you mind riding backwards? It may take a little longer. 974 01:17:12,868 --> 01:17:15,928 It's not how long it takes. It's who's taking you. 975 01:17:42,665 --> 01:17:44,895 It looked so small from the beach. 976 01:17:44,967 --> 01:17:47,834 But when you're on it, it's like a cruiser or a destroyer. 977 01:17:47,903 --> 01:17:53,000 It's just regulation-size. We have three. Mother keeps hers in Southampton. 978 01:17:53,075 --> 01:17:56,203 Daddy's is in Venezuela. The company is laying a new pipeline. 979 01:17:56,278 --> 01:18:00,442 My dad's more interested in railroads. Baltimore and Ohio. 980 01:18:00,516 --> 01:18:02,643 Which is the port and which is the starboard? 981 01:18:02,718 --> 01:18:05,585 That depends on whether you're coming or going. 982 01:18:05,654 --> 01:18:09,954 I mean, normally the aft is on the other side of the stern. 983 01:18:10,025 --> 01:18:14,689 And that's the bridge. So that you can get from one side of the boat to the other. 984 01:18:14,764 --> 01:18:18,359 - Would you like a glass of champagne? - Love it. Which way? 985 01:18:21,403 --> 01:18:25,669 - You have an upstairs and a downstairs. - Yes, the hurricane cellar. 986 01:18:27,476 --> 01:18:31,708 And another nice thing about this yacht - lots of closet space. 987 01:18:31,781 --> 01:18:35,376 Now, let me see. Where do you suppose the steward set it up? 988 01:18:38,888 --> 01:18:40,879 In here. 989 01:18:42,291 --> 01:18:43,986 Of course. How silly of me. 990 01:18:44,059 --> 01:18:47,392 On Thursdays they always serve me in the small salon. 991 01:18:56,138 --> 01:18:59,505 It's exquisite. Like a floating mansion. 992 01:18:59,575 --> 01:19:01,566 It's all right for a bachelor. 993 01:19:02,444 --> 01:19:06,210 - What a beautiful fish. - I caught him off Cape Hatteras. 994 01:19:07,082 --> 01:19:09,346 What is it? 995 01:19:09,418 --> 01:19:11,648 It's a member of the herring family. 996 01:19:12,888 --> 01:19:14,947 A herring? 997 01:19:15,024 --> 01:19:19,859 Isn't it amazing how they get those big fish into those little glass jars? 998 01:19:20,029 --> 01:19:22,190 They shrink when they're marinated. 999 01:19:22,264 --> 01:19:24,255 - Champagne? - I don't mind if I do. 1000 01:19:24,333 --> 01:19:27,097 Well, down the hatch, as we say at sea. 1001 01:19:27,169 --> 01:19:29,103 Bon voyage. 1002 01:19:33,342 --> 01:19:36,106 - Look at all that silverware. - Trophies. 1003 01:19:36,178 --> 01:19:39,739 You know. Skeet shooting, dog breeding, water polo. 1004 01:19:39,815 --> 01:19:41,806 Isn't water polo terribly dangerous? 1005 01:19:41,884 --> 01:19:44,910 I'll say. I had two ponies drowned under me. 1006 01:19:44,987 --> 01:19:46,955 Where's your shell collection? 1007 01:19:47,022 --> 01:19:49,422 Yes, of course. Where could they have put it? 1008 01:19:49,491 --> 01:19:52,051 You see, on Thursdays I'm sort of lost around here. 1009 01:19:52,127 --> 01:19:55,324 - What's on Thursdays? - It's the crew's night off. 1010 01:19:55,397 --> 01:19:58,992 - You mean we're alone on the boat? - Completely. 1011 01:19:59,068 --> 01:20:02,560 I've never been completely alone with a man in the middle of the night, 1012 01:20:02,638 --> 01:20:05,402 - in the middle of the ocean. - Oh, it's perfectly safe. 1013 01:20:05,474 --> 01:20:08,238 We're anchored. The ship's in shipshape shape. 1014 01:20:08,310 --> 01:20:11,336 The coastguard will call if any icebergs appear. 1015 01:20:11,814 --> 01:20:13,145 It's not the icebergs. 1016 01:20:13,215 --> 01:20:16,707 But certain men would try to take advantage of a situation like this. 1017 01:20:16,785 --> 01:20:20,778 - You're flattering me. - Of course, I'm sure you're a gentleman. 1018 01:20:21,490 --> 01:20:25,324 It's not that. It's just that I'm harmless. 1019 01:20:25,394 --> 01:20:28,090 - Harmless? How? - I don't know how to put it, 1020 01:20:28,163 --> 01:20:30,188 but I've got this thing about girls. 1021 01:20:30,532 --> 01:20:34,332 - What thing? - They just sort of leave me cold. 1022 01:20:34,403 --> 01:20:36,598 You mean, like, frigid? 1023 01:20:36,672 --> 01:20:39,163 Well, it's more like a mental block. 1024 01:20:39,241 --> 01:20:42,506 When I'm with a girl, it does absolutely nothing to me. 1025 01:20:42,578 --> 01:20:46,912 - Have you tried? - Have I. I'm trying all the time. 1026 01:20:53,756 --> 01:20:55,747 See? Nothing. 1027 01:20:56,625 --> 01:20:59,355 - Nothing at all? - Complete washout. 1028 01:20:59,428 --> 01:21:02,659 - That makes me feel just awful. - My dear, it's not your fault. 1029 01:21:02,731 --> 01:21:05,700 Now and then Mother Nature throws somebody a dirty curve. 1030 01:21:05,768 --> 01:21:08,100 Something goes wrong inside. 1031 01:21:08,170 --> 01:21:11,003 - You mean you can't fall in love? - Not anymore. 1032 01:21:11,073 --> 01:21:14,008 I was in love once, but I'd rather not talk about it. 1033 01:21:14,076 --> 01:21:17,341 - Would you like a little cold pheasant? - What happened? 1034 01:21:17,413 --> 01:21:20,678 - I don't want to bore you. - You couldn't possibly. 1035 01:21:20,816 --> 01:21:22,807 Well... 1036 01:21:22,885 --> 01:21:25,376 It was my freshman year at Princeton. 1037 01:21:25,454 --> 01:21:27,547 There was this girl. Her name was Nellie. 1038 01:21:27,589 --> 01:21:30,319 Her father was the vice president of Hupmobile. 1039 01:21:30,392 --> 01:21:32,383 She wore glasses, too. 1040 01:21:33,262 --> 01:21:35,730 That summer we were at the Grand Canyon. 1041 01:21:35,798 --> 01:21:38,699 We were on the highest ledge watching the sunset, 1042 01:21:38,767 --> 01:21:41,327 when suddenly we got this impulse to kiss. 1043 01:21:41,403 --> 01:21:44,895 I took off my glasses. She took off her glasses. 1044 01:21:44,974 --> 01:21:46,601 I took a step toward her. 1045 01:21:47,076 --> 01:21:49,067 She took a step toward me. 1046 01:21:50,713 --> 01:21:54,945 Yes. Eight hours later they brought her up by mule. 1047 01:21:55,017 --> 01:21:58,976 I gave her three transfusions. We had the same type blood - type O. 1048 01:21:59,054 --> 01:22:01,045 But it was too late. 1049 01:22:01,857 --> 01:22:03,950 Talk about sad. 1050 01:22:04,193 --> 01:22:06,218 Ever since then, 1051 01:22:06,295 --> 01:22:09,822 numb, no feelings, like my heart was shot full of Novocain. 1052 01:22:10,199 --> 01:22:12,292 You poor, poor boy. 1053 01:22:12,368 --> 01:22:15,303 Yes. All the money in the world, and what good is it? 1054 01:22:15,371 --> 01:22:17,202 Mint sauce or cranberries? 1055 01:22:17,906 --> 01:22:21,364 How can you think about food at a time like this? 1056 01:22:21,443 --> 01:22:23,138 What else is there for me? 1057 01:22:23,212 --> 01:22:26,739 - Is it that hopeless? - My family did everything they could. 1058 01:22:26,815 --> 01:22:29,716 Hired the most beautiful French upstairs maids. 1059 01:22:29,785 --> 01:22:33,084 Got a special tutor to read me books that were banned in Boston. 1060 01:22:33,155 --> 01:22:35,282 Imported a troupe of Balinese dancers 1061 01:22:35,357 --> 01:22:38,986 with those bells on their ankles and long fingernails. 1062 01:22:39,061 --> 01:22:41,052 What a waste of money. 1063 01:22:41,864 --> 01:22:43,889 Have you ever tried American girls? 1064 01:22:43,966 --> 01:22:45,627 Why? 1065 01:22:51,440 --> 01:22:53,431 Was that anything? 1066 01:22:54,877 --> 01:22:56,868 Thanks just the same. 1067 01:22:57,446 --> 01:22:59,676 You should see a doctor - a good doctor. 1068 01:22:59,748 --> 01:23:04,913 I have. I spent six months in Vienna with Professor Freud, flat on my back. 1069 01:23:05,754 --> 01:23:10,657 Then there were the Mayo brothers, injections, hypnosis, mineral baths. 1070 01:23:10,726 --> 01:23:13,058 If I wasn't such a coward, I'd kill myself. 1071 01:23:14,363 --> 01:23:16,831 Don't say that. 1072 01:23:16,899 --> 01:23:19,299 There must be some girl someplace that could... 1073 01:23:19,368 --> 01:23:24,772 If I ever found a girl that could, I'd marry her just like that. 1074 01:23:24,840 --> 01:23:27,673 - Would you do me a favor? - Certainly. What is it? 1075 01:23:27,743 --> 01:23:31,474 I may not be Dr Freud or a Mayo brother or one of those French upstairs girls, 1076 01:23:31,547 --> 01:23:34,539 but could I take another crack at it? 1077 01:23:35,250 --> 01:23:37,047 All right, if you insist. 1078 01:23:50,732 --> 01:23:53,724 - Anything this time? - I'm afraid not. 1079 01:23:55,070 --> 01:23:58,506 - Terribly sorry. - Would you like some more champagne? 1080 01:24:01,009 --> 01:24:04,775 Maybe if we had some music. How do you dim these lights? 1081 01:24:05,781 --> 01:24:09,444 Look, it's terribly sweet of you to want to help out, but it's no use. 1082 01:24:09,518 --> 01:24:11,918 I think the light switch is over there. 1083 01:24:17,559 --> 01:24:19,686 That's the radio. 1084 01:24:19,761 --> 01:24:23,424 It's like taking someone to a concert when he's tone-deaf. 1085 01:24:59,468 --> 01:25:02,164 You're not giving yourself a chance. 1086 01:25:02,237 --> 01:25:04,228 Don't fight it. 1087 01:25:05,607 --> 01:25:08,167 Relax. 1088 01:25:21,190 --> 01:25:23,351 It's like smoking without inhaling. 1089 01:25:23,425 --> 01:25:25,416 So inhale. 1090 01:25:48,584 --> 01:25:49,915 Daphne, 1091 01:25:49,985 --> 01:25:52,317 - you're leading again. - Sorry. 1092 01:26:06,802 --> 01:26:08,463 Well? 1093 01:26:09,972 --> 01:26:12,167 I'm not quite sure. 1094 01:26:12,241 --> 01:26:14,232 Would you try it again? 1095 01:26:24,720 --> 01:26:27,314 I got a funny sensation in my toes. 1096 01:26:28,857 --> 01:26:32,054 Like someone was barbecuing them over a slow flame. 1097 01:26:33,495 --> 01:26:35,725 Let's throw another log on the fire. 1098 01:26:45,741 --> 01:26:47,834 I think you're on the right track. 1099 01:26:49,244 --> 01:26:52,907 I must be. Your glasses are beginning to steam up. 1100 01:27:17,306 --> 01:27:19,399 I never knew it could be like this. 1101 01:27:21,276 --> 01:27:23,267 Thank you. 1102 01:27:23,345 --> 01:27:26,872 They told me I was kaput, finished, all washed up. 1103 01:27:26,948 --> 01:27:30,543 And here you are, making a chump out of all those experts. 1104 01:27:33,088 --> 01:27:35,750 Mineral baths. Now, really. 1105 01:27:35,824 --> 01:27:38,122 Where did you learn to kiss like that? 1106 01:27:39,061 --> 01:27:41,461 I used to sell kisses for the Milk Fund. 1107 01:27:52,140 --> 01:27:57,168 Tomorrow, remind me to send a check for $100,000 to the Milk Fund. 1108 01:29:02,711 --> 01:29:04,372 Whoops. 1109 01:29:31,973 --> 01:29:34,703 - Good night. - Good morning. 1110 01:29:34,776 --> 01:29:37,006 How much do I owe the Milk Fund so far? 1111 01:29:37,078 --> 01:29:39,638 $850,000. 1112 01:29:39,714 --> 01:29:41,705 Let's make it an even million. 1113 01:30:03,371 --> 01:30:05,362 I forgot to give you a receipt. 1114 01:30:46,915 --> 01:30:49,145 Hi, Jerry. Everything under control? 1115 01:30:49,217 --> 01:30:51,208 Have I got things to tell you. 1116 01:30:52,454 --> 01:30:55,855 - What happened? - I'm engaged. 1117 01:30:55,924 --> 01:30:58,620 Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl? 1118 01:30:59,227 --> 01:31:01,058 I am. 1119 01:31:05,600 --> 01:31:07,261 What? 1120 01:31:07,335 --> 01:31:10,702 Osgood proposed to me. We're planning a June wedding. 1121 01:31:13,475 --> 01:31:16,239 What are you talking about? You can't marry Osgood. 1122 01:31:17,679 --> 01:31:21,012 - Do you think he's too old for me? - Jerry, you can't be serious. 1123 01:31:21,082 --> 01:31:23,915 Why not? He keeps marryin' girls all the time. 1124 01:31:25,287 --> 01:31:27,551 But... you're not a girl. You're a guy. 1125 01:31:27,589 --> 01:31:29,557 And why would a guy wanna marry a guy? 1126 01:31:29,624 --> 01:31:31,455 Security. 1127 01:31:33,028 --> 01:31:36,327 - Jerry, lie down. You're not well. - Stop treatin' me like a child. 1128 01:31:36,398 --> 01:31:39,458 - I'm not stupid. I know there's a problem. - I'll say there is. 1129 01:31:39,534 --> 01:31:44,233 His mother. We need her approval. But I'm not worried because I don't smoke. 1130 01:31:47,609 --> 01:31:50,874 - Jerry, there's another problem. - Like what? 1131 01:31:50,946 --> 01:31:54,848 - Like your honeymoon. - We've been discussing that. 1132 01:31:54,916 --> 01:31:59,250 He wants to go to the Riviera, but I kinda lean towards Niagara Falls. 1133 01:32:02,958 --> 01:32:06,155 Jerry, you're outta your mind. You can't get away with this. 1134 01:32:06,227 --> 01:32:09,924 I don't expect it to last. I'll tell him the truth when the time comes. 1135 01:32:09,998 --> 01:32:12,990 - Like when? - Like right after the ceremony. 1136 01:32:13,068 --> 01:32:16,560 Then we get a quick annulment, he makes a nice settlement on me 1137 01:32:16,638 --> 01:32:19,937 and I keep gettin' those alimony checks every month. 1138 01:32:24,312 --> 01:32:26,280 Jerry, listen to me. 1139 01:32:26,348 --> 01:32:30,284 There are laws, conventions. It's just not been done. 1140 01:32:30,352 --> 01:32:33,810 Joe, this may be my last chance to marry a millionaire. 1141 01:32:33,888 --> 01:32:37,824 Jerry, will you take my advice? Forget about the whole thing, will you? 1142 01:32:37,892 --> 01:32:40,417 Just keep telling yourself you're a boy. 1143 01:32:41,963 --> 01:32:44,295 - I'm a boy. - That's the boy. 1144 01:32:45,000 --> 01:32:48,595 I'm a boy, I'm a boy, I'm a... 1145 01:32:48,670 --> 01:32:52,629 I wish I were dead. I'm a boy. Boy, oh boy, am I a boy. 1146 01:32:52,707 --> 01:32:55,073 What about my engagement present? 1147 01:32:55,143 --> 01:32:58,579 - What engagement present? - Osgood gave me a bracelet. 1148 01:33:00,448 --> 01:33:02,040 Hey, these are real diamonds. 1149 01:33:02,117 --> 01:33:05,018 Of course they're real. You think my fianc� is a bum? 1150 01:33:05,086 --> 01:33:09,523 - I guess I'll have to give it back to him. - Wait a minute, Jerry. Let's not be hasty. 1151 01:33:09,591 --> 01:33:12,719 After all, we don't wanna hurt Osgood's feelings. 1152 01:33:16,231 --> 01:33:18,995 - Just a minute. - It's me. Sugar. 1153 01:33:27,684 --> 01:33:29,276 Come in. 1154 01:33:29,352 --> 01:33:33,618 I thought I heard voices. I had to talk to somebody. I don't feel like going to sleep. 1155 01:33:33,690 --> 01:33:38,024 - What you need is a slug of bourbon. - Oh, no. I'm off that stuff for good. 1156 01:33:38,094 --> 01:33:40,426 - Did you have a nice time? - Nice? 1157 01:33:41,698 --> 01:33:44,724 It was suicidally beautiful. 1158 01:33:44,801 --> 01:33:45,893 Did he get fresh? 1159 01:33:45,969 --> 01:33:49,496 Of course not. As a matter of fact, it was just the other way around. 1160 01:33:49,572 --> 01:33:52,200 - You see, he needs help. - What for? 1161 01:33:52,275 --> 01:33:55,210 Talk about elegant. You should see the yacht. 1162 01:33:55,278 --> 01:33:58,577 Candlelight, mint sauce and cranberries. 1163 01:33:58,982 --> 01:34:00,950 Gee, I wish I'd been there. 1164 01:34:01,484 --> 01:34:04,282 I'm going to see him again tonight - and every night. 1165 01:34:04,354 --> 01:34:05,685 I think he's going to propose. 1166 01:34:05,755 --> 01:34:08,815 - As soon as he gets up his nerve. - That's some nerve. 1167 01:34:09,158 --> 01:34:11,126 Daphne got a proposal tonight. 1168 01:34:12,061 --> 01:34:14,291 - Really? - From a rich millionaire. 1169 01:34:14,364 --> 01:34:16,264 That's wonderful. 1170 01:34:16,332 --> 01:34:18,664 - Poor Josephine. - Me? 1171 01:34:18,735 --> 01:34:20,532 Well, Daphne has a beau, I have a beau... 1172 01:34:20,603 --> 01:34:23,003 If we could only find somebody for you. 1173 01:34:25,908 --> 01:34:27,899 Here I am, doll. 1174 01:34:53,803 --> 01:34:57,671 "Friends of Italian Opera" - that's us. 1175 01:34:57,740 --> 01:34:59,731 Register over there. 1176 01:35:08,785 --> 01:35:12,516 Spats Colombo. Delegate from Chicago. South Side Chapter. 1177 01:35:13,222 --> 01:35:14,883 Thanks. 1178 01:35:15,425 --> 01:35:16,949 Hiya, Spats. 1179 01:35:17,026 --> 01:35:20,462 - We was layin' 8-1 you wouldn't show. - Why wouldn't I? 1180 01:35:20,530 --> 01:35:23,397 We thought you was all broken up about Toothpick Charlie. 1181 01:35:23,466 --> 01:35:28,028 - We all gotta go sometime. - Yeah. You never know who's next. 1182 01:35:28,104 --> 01:35:30,368 OK, Spats. Report to the sergeant at arms. 1183 01:35:30,440 --> 01:35:33,603 - What for? - Orders from Little Bonaparte. 1184 01:35:39,115 --> 01:35:41,743 - All right, Spats, get your hands up. - What's the idea? 1185 01:35:41,818 --> 01:35:44,981 Little Bonaparte don't want no hardware around. 1186 01:35:45,054 --> 01:35:47,045 All right, you're clean. 1187 01:35:47,657 --> 01:35:49,648 You're not. 1188 01:35:59,836 --> 01:36:01,326 It ain't loaded. 1189 01:36:10,046 --> 01:36:12,879 Next. What's in here? 1190 01:36:12,949 --> 01:36:17,249 My golf clubs. Putter, niblick, No.3 iron. 1191 01:36:17,320 --> 01:36:19,311 - What's this? - My mashie. 1192 01:36:25,027 --> 01:36:27,018 See you at the banquet, Spats. 1193 01:36:28,531 --> 01:36:30,931 Where did you pick up that cheap trick? 1194 01:36:31,667 --> 01:36:33,658 Come on, boys. 1195 01:36:34,971 --> 01:36:37,371 Well. Spats Colombo, if I ever saw one. 1196 01:36:37,440 --> 01:36:39,635 Hello, copper. What brings you to Florida? 1197 01:36:39,709 --> 01:36:41,677 I heard you opera-lovers were meetin'. 1198 01:36:41,744 --> 01:36:44,975 Thought I'd come in case anybody decided to sing. 1199 01:36:45,047 --> 01:36:46,139 Big joke. 1200 01:36:46,215 --> 01:36:48,843 Where were you at 3pm on St Valentine's Day? 1201 01:36:48,918 --> 01:36:51,887 - I was at Rigoletto. - What's his first name and address? 1202 01:36:51,954 --> 01:36:53,319 It's an opera, you ignoramus. 1203 01:36:53,389 --> 01:36:57,485 - In the garage on Clark Street? - Clark Street? Never heard of it. 1204 01:36:57,560 --> 01:37:01,121 Ever hear of Deluxe Cleaners on Wabash Avenue? 1205 01:37:01,197 --> 01:37:04,530 The day after the shoot you sent in spats with blood on 'em. 1206 01:37:04,600 --> 01:37:06,397 I cut myself while shaving. 1207 01:37:06,469 --> 01:37:09,029 - You shave with spats on? - I sleep with my spats on. 1208 01:37:09,105 --> 01:37:12,939 Stop kidding. You vulcanized Toothpick Charlie, and we know it. 1209 01:37:13,009 --> 01:37:14,135 You and who else? 1210 01:37:14,210 --> 01:37:18,169 Me and those two witnesses you have been lookin' for all over Chicago. 1211 01:37:18,247 --> 01:37:21,148 Boys, know anything about any garage or witnesses? 1212 01:37:21,217 --> 01:37:23,378 Us? We was with you at Rigoletto's. 1213 01:37:24,220 --> 01:37:26,211 Honest. 1214 01:37:28,057 --> 01:37:32,153 Don't worry, Spats. One of these days we're gonna dig up those two guys. 1215 01:37:32,228 --> 01:37:35,061 That's what you'll have to do - dig 'em up. 1216 01:37:44,473 --> 01:37:48,910 I feel like such a tramp, taking jewelry from a man under false pretenses. 1217 01:37:48,978 --> 01:37:52,846 Get it while you're young. Fix your lips if you wanna look nice for Osgood. 1218 01:37:52,915 --> 01:37:55,475 It'll break his heart when he finds out I can't marry him. 1219 01:37:55,551 --> 01:37:58,952 It'll break Sugar's heart when she finds out I'm not a millionaire. 1220 01:37:59,021 --> 01:38:01,285 Can't make an omelet without breakin' an egg. 1221 01:38:01,357 --> 01:38:04,121 - What's with the omelet? - Nag, nag, nag. 1222 01:38:04,193 --> 01:38:09,130 We got a yacht, a bracelet, you've got Osgood, I've got Sugar. We'll be cookin'. 1223 01:38:13,102 --> 01:38:15,093 - Joe! - What? 1224 01:38:16,439 --> 01:38:19,875 Something tells me the omelet is about to hit the fan. 1225 01:38:22,411 --> 01:38:24,402 Come on, Daphne. 1226 01:38:28,784 --> 01:38:30,775 - Going up. - Hold it. 1227 01:38:38,761 --> 01:38:40,558 Three, please. 1228 01:38:51,641 --> 01:38:53,336 I don't mean to be forward, 1229 01:38:53,409 --> 01:38:56,572 but ain't I had the pleasure of meetin' you two broads before? 1230 01:38:56,646 --> 01:38:59,740 - Oh, no. - You must mean two other broads. 1231 01:38:59,815 --> 01:39:02,682 - You ever been in Chicago? - Us? 1232 01:39:02,752 --> 01:39:05,482 We wouldn't be caught dead in Chicago. 1233 01:39:05,554 --> 01:39:06,680 Third floor. 1234 01:39:06,756 --> 01:39:09,816 - What floor are you on, sweetie? - Never you mind. 1235 01:39:11,060 --> 01:39:13,051 Room 413. We'll be in touch. 1236 01:39:13,129 --> 01:39:15,120 Don't call us. We'll call you. 1237 01:39:28,711 --> 01:39:30,269 I tell you, Joe, they're onto us. 1238 01:39:30,346 --> 01:39:33,747 They're gonna line us up against the wall and... 1239 01:39:33,816 --> 01:39:36,944 The cops will find two dead dames and take us to the morgue 1240 01:39:37,019 --> 01:39:39,613 and when they undress us, I'll die of shame. 1241 01:39:39,689 --> 01:39:42,749 - Shut up and keep packing. - Yeah. OK, Joe. 1242 01:39:42,825 --> 01:39:45,055 - Not that, you idiot. - They're from Osgood. 1243 01:39:45,127 --> 01:39:47,118 He wanted me to wear 'em tonight. 1244 01:39:51,367 --> 01:39:54,336 I tell you, I will never find another man who's so good to me. 1245 01:39:54,403 --> 01:39:58,965 Joe, if we get outta this hotel alive, we'll sell this bracelet, take the money, 1246 01:39:59,041 --> 01:40:02,204 grab a boat to South America and hide out in a banana republic. 1247 01:40:02,278 --> 01:40:06,112 I figured if we eat nothing but bananas, we could live there for 50 years. 1248 01:40:06,182 --> 01:40:08,173 If we get outta the hotel alive. 1249 01:40:08,250 --> 01:40:11,242 - Did we forget anything? - Yeah. The shaving stuff. 1250 01:40:11,320 --> 01:40:13,550 - And also Sugar. - Sugar? 1251 01:40:13,622 --> 01:40:15,681 - Give me room 414. - What are you doin'? 1252 01:40:15,758 --> 01:40:18,226 - Making a telephone call. - Who has time? 1253 01:40:18,294 --> 01:40:20,888 We can't walk out on her without a goodbye. 1254 01:40:20,963 --> 01:40:23,557 You usually walk out and leave 'em with a kick in the teeth. 1255 01:40:23,632 --> 01:40:27,068 That's when I was a saxophone player. Now I'm a millionaire. 1256 01:40:27,136 --> 01:40:30,663 Mail her a postcard. Those gorillas may be here any minute. 1257 01:40:30,740 --> 01:40:33,709 Room 414? This is the ship-to-shore operator. 1258 01:40:33,909 --> 01:40:35,433 Ship to shore? 1259 01:40:35,511 --> 01:40:38,036 Hey, Sugar, it's for you. From the yacht. 1260 01:40:43,185 --> 01:40:46,712 Hello, my dearest darling. It's good to hear your voice. 1261 01:40:46,789 --> 01:40:48,780 I may throw up. 1262 01:40:51,093 --> 01:40:54,995 No, I didn't sleep too well, darling. To tell the truth, I never closed an eye. 1263 01:40:55,064 --> 01:40:58,966 I never slept better. I had the most wonderful dream. 1264 01:40:59,035 --> 01:41:01,595 I was still on the yacht and the anchor broke loose. 1265 01:41:01,670 --> 01:41:04,230 We drifted for days and days. 1266 01:41:04,306 --> 01:41:06,433 You were the captain and I was the crew. 1267 01:41:06,509 --> 01:41:11,208 I kept a lookout for icebergs, I sorted your shells and mixed your cocktails, 1268 01:41:11,280 --> 01:41:14,113 and I wiped the steam off your glasses. 1269 01:41:14,183 --> 01:41:18,210 And when I woke up, I wanted to swim right back to you. 1270 01:41:18,988 --> 01:41:20,478 Yes... 1271 01:41:21,257 --> 01:41:23,350 Now, about our date for tonight... 1272 01:41:23,726 --> 01:41:26,320 I'll meet you on the pier again right after the show. 1273 01:41:27,296 --> 01:41:29,696 I'm afraid not. I can't make it tonight. 1274 01:41:32,168 --> 01:41:34,693 Not tomorrow either. I have to leave. 1275 01:41:34,770 --> 01:41:37,671 Something unexpected came up. I'm sailing right away. 1276 01:41:38,674 --> 01:41:40,505 Where to? 1277 01:41:41,010 --> 01:41:43,001 South America? 1278 01:41:44,547 --> 01:41:46,606 That is unexpected. 1279 01:41:47,783 --> 01:41:50,308 You see, we have these oil interests in Venezuela. 1280 01:41:50,386 --> 01:41:54,550 I just got a cable from Dad. The board of directors have decided on a merger. 1281 01:41:55,024 --> 01:41:57,584 A merger? How long will you be gone? 1282 01:41:59,795 --> 01:42:01,626 Quite a while. 1283 01:42:01,697 --> 01:42:03,858 As a matter of fact, I'm not coming back at all. 1284 01:42:04,867 --> 01:42:05,561 You're not? 1285 01:42:07,403 --> 01:42:10,839 Well, it's all rather complicated. What we call high finance. 1286 01:42:10,906 --> 01:42:15,639 It just so happens the president of the Venezuelan oil syndicate has a daughter... 1287 01:42:16,145 --> 01:42:18,136 Oh. That kind of merger. 1288 01:42:19,148 --> 01:42:20,046 What is she like? 1289 01:42:20,916 --> 01:42:23,817 According to our tax adviser, she's only so-so. 1290 01:42:23,886 --> 01:42:25,911 But that's the way the oil gushes. 1291 01:42:25,988 --> 01:42:29,549 A man in my position has a responsibility to the stockholders. 1292 01:42:29,625 --> 01:42:32,594 All those little people who have invested their life savings. 1293 01:42:33,462 --> 01:42:37,421 Of course. I understand. At least, I think I do. 1294 01:42:37,500 --> 01:42:42,836 I knew you would. I only wish there was something I could do for you. 1295 01:42:43,839 --> 01:42:47,172 But you have. You've given me all that inside information. 1296 01:42:47,243 --> 01:42:49,074 Tomorrow I'm gonna call my broker 1297 01:42:49,145 --> 01:42:52,603 and have him buy me 50,000 shares of Venezuelan oil. 1298 01:42:52,882 --> 01:42:54,975 Smart move. 1299 01:42:55,050 --> 01:42:57,917 By the way, did you get my flowers? 1300 01:42:57,987 --> 01:43:00,319 You know, those orchids from my greenhouse? 1301 01:43:00,389 --> 01:43:04,792 The fog finally lifted over Long Island and they flew them down this morning. 1302 01:43:04,860 --> 01:43:08,193 That's strange. I sent 'em to your room. 1303 01:43:10,366 --> 01:43:12,834 They should have been delivered by now. 1304 01:43:16,539 --> 01:43:20,202 Hey, Dolores, will you see if there's any flowers outside? 1305 01:43:25,948 --> 01:43:29,008 Yes, they're here. White orchids. 1306 01:43:29,084 --> 01:43:32,281 I haven't had white orchids since I was a debutante. 1307 01:43:33,923 --> 01:43:35,914 What's this? 1308 01:43:36,892 --> 01:43:38,416 What's what? 1309 01:43:38,494 --> 01:43:41,224 Oh, that. Just a little going-away present. 1310 01:43:42,231 --> 01:43:44,222 Real diamonds. 1311 01:43:44,934 --> 01:43:49,564 They must be worth their weight in gold. Are you always this generous? 1312 01:43:50,940 --> 01:43:52,532 Not always. 1313 01:43:52,608 --> 01:43:55,668 I wanted you to know how grateful I am for what you did for me. 1314 01:43:56,011 --> 01:43:59,071 I didn't do anything. It just happened. 1315 01:44:00,883 --> 01:44:04,683 The navigator just came in. We're ready to cast off. 1316 01:44:05,254 --> 01:44:08,519 Well, anchors aweigh, and have a bon voyage. 1317 01:44:08,591 --> 01:44:10,491 If you need an orchestra to play at your wedding, 1318 01:44:10,559 --> 01:44:12,857 we'll be through here in a couple of weeks. 1319 01:44:13,095 --> 01:44:15,086 Goodbye, my darling. 1320 01:44:15,698 --> 01:44:18,963 I don't know about the captain but the navigator's gettin' his tail outta here. 1321 01:44:19,034 --> 01:44:22,333 - Yeah, let's shove off. - Wait a minute. My bracelet. 1322 01:44:24,907 --> 01:44:26,704 What happened to my bracelet? 1323 01:44:26,775 --> 01:44:30,711 - Your bracelet? It's ours. - OK. What happened to our bracelet? 1324 01:44:30,779 --> 01:44:35,239 - We did the right thing with it. - You're not pullin' one of your old tricks. 1325 01:44:35,317 --> 01:44:37,649 No tricks, no mirrors, nothing up my sleeve. 1326 01:44:37,720 --> 01:44:39,187 It's on the level this time. 1327 01:44:46,595 --> 01:44:48,586 Where's that bourbon? 1328 01:44:54,670 --> 01:44:59,004 - What's the matter, Sugar? - I don't know. All of a sudden I'm thirsty. 1329 01:45:00,576 --> 01:45:02,305 How did you get that bracelet? 1330 01:45:02,378 --> 01:45:04,346 - You like it? - I always did. 1331 01:45:04,413 --> 01:45:09,248 Junior gave it to me. He's gone to South America to marry another girl. 1332 01:45:09,318 --> 01:45:12,776 - That's what you call high finance. - That's what I call a louse. 1333 01:45:12,855 --> 01:45:16,916 If I were you, I'd take that bracelet and throw it back in his face. 1334 01:45:16,992 --> 01:45:21,156 He's the first nice guy I've met in my life. The only one that ever gave me anything. 1335 01:45:21,230 --> 01:45:23,221 You'll forget him, Sugar. 1336 01:45:24,500 --> 01:45:29,836 How can I? No matter where I go, there'll always be a Shell station on every corner. 1337 01:45:29,905 --> 01:45:32,203 I'll bring this back when it's empty. 1338 01:45:35,144 --> 01:45:38,580 Are you crazy? The place is crawlin' with mobsters. 1339 01:45:38,647 --> 01:45:42,048 And you're makin' like Diamond Jim Brady. 1340 01:45:42,117 --> 01:45:44,108 How are we gonna get outta here? How are we gonna eat? 1341 01:45:44,186 --> 01:45:48,145 - We'll walk. If we have to, we'll starve. - There's that "we" again. 1342 01:45:48,223 --> 01:45:51,715 Not that way. We don't wanna run into Spats and his chums. 1343 01:46:01,303 --> 01:46:02,736 Your hands clean? 1344 01:46:02,805 --> 01:46:03,965 Over. 1345 01:46:04,039 --> 01:46:06,030 OK, button my spats. 1346 01:46:09,712 --> 01:46:11,373 You sure dress nice, boss. 1347 01:46:11,780 --> 01:46:14,874 Say, boss. I've been talking with the other delegates. 1348 01:46:14,950 --> 01:46:19,046 The word is, Little Bonaparte is real sore over what happened to Toothpick Charlie. 1349 01:46:19,121 --> 01:46:23,148 - Him and Charlie was choirboys together. - Stop or I'll bust out cryin'. 1350 01:46:23,225 --> 01:46:26,888 He even got Charlie's last toothpick from the garage. Had it gold-plated. 1351 01:46:27,229 --> 01:46:29,026 Like I was tellin' you fellas. 1352 01:46:29,098 --> 01:46:32,431 Little Bonaparte's gettin' soft. Hasn't got it here anymore. 1353 01:46:32,501 --> 01:46:34,901 Used to be like a rock. 1354 01:46:34,970 --> 01:46:39,873 - It's too bad. I think it's time he retired. - Second the motion. 1355 01:46:40,542 --> 01:46:41,839 How are we gonna retire him? 1356 01:46:41,910 --> 01:46:43,935 Oh, we'll think of somethin' cute. 1357 01:46:44,012 --> 01:46:48,346 Little Bonaparte and Toothpick Charlie will be singin' in the same choir again. 1358 01:46:51,620 --> 01:46:54,919 But this time we'll make sure there are no witnesses. 1359 01:46:57,960 --> 01:47:00,758 Look. The two broads from the elevator. 1360 01:47:04,032 --> 01:47:06,023 Hey. Join us. 1361 01:47:07,569 --> 01:47:10,037 What's the matter with those dames? 1362 01:47:10,105 --> 01:47:12,096 Maybe those dames ain't dames. 1363 01:47:15,110 --> 01:47:17,101 Same faces, same instruments. 1364 01:47:21,717 --> 01:47:24,777 - Here's your Valentine's card. - The two musicians from the garage. 1365 01:47:25,220 --> 01:47:30,021 They wouldn't be caught dead in Chicago, so we'll finish the job here. Come on. 1366 01:47:48,811 --> 01:47:53,305 - All right, so what do we do now? - First we gotta get out of these clothes. 1367 01:49:32,314 --> 01:49:33,144 What happened? 1368 01:49:33,215 --> 01:49:36,810 Me and Tiny had them cornered, but we lost them in the shuffle. 1369 01:49:36,885 --> 01:49:40,377 - Where were you guys? - We was with you, at Rigoletto's. 1370 01:49:40,455 --> 01:49:44,016 - Why, you stupid idiot. - Boss, we'll get 'em after the banquet. 1371 01:49:44,092 --> 01:49:46,083 They can't be too far away. 1372 01:50:05,981 --> 01:50:08,006 Thank you. 1373 01:50:08,083 --> 01:50:10,176 Thank you, fellow opera-lovers. 1374 01:50:11,453 --> 01:50:15,446 It's been ten years since I elected myself president of this organization, 1375 01:50:15,524 --> 01:50:19,016 and, if I say so myself, you made the right choice. 1376 01:50:21,530 --> 01:50:24,966 Let's look at the record. In the last fiscal year, 1377 01:50:25,033 --> 01:50:28,696 we made $112 million before taxes. 1378 01:50:29,438 --> 01:50:31,099 Only we ain't payin' no taxes. 1379 01:50:34,242 --> 01:50:38,804 Of course, like in every business, we had our little misunderstandings. 1380 01:50:40,048 --> 01:50:42,175 Let us now observe one minute of silence 1381 01:50:42,250 --> 01:50:47,119 in memory of seven of our members from Chicago, North Side Chapter, 1382 01:50:47,189 --> 01:50:50,420 who are unable to be with us tonight on account of bein' rubbed out. 1383 01:50:56,431 --> 01:50:58,160 You too, Spats. 1384 01:50:58,233 --> 01:51:00,064 Up. 1385 01:51:10,078 --> 01:51:11,705 Easy, now. 1386 01:51:11,780 --> 01:51:15,045 - You know when you come out? - Yeah. Second time they sing: 1387 01:51:15,117 --> 01:51:19,417 For he's a jolly good fellow which nobody can deny. 1388 01:51:19,488 --> 01:51:21,149 OK. 1389 01:51:25,661 --> 01:51:29,859 And don't mess up the cake. I promised to bring back a piece to my kids. 1390 01:51:37,936 --> 01:51:40,029 Now, fellow delegates, 1391 01:51:40,104 --> 01:51:43,938 there comes a time in the life of every business executive 1392 01:51:44,008 --> 01:51:46,875 when he starts thinkin' about retirement. 1393 01:51:46,945 --> 01:51:48,606 No! 1394 01:51:51,149 --> 01:51:54,812 I'm lookin' around for somebody to fill my shoes. 1395 01:51:54,886 --> 01:51:57,787 I've been considerin' several candidates. 1396 01:51:57,855 --> 01:52:01,791 For instance, there's a certain party from Chicago, 1397 01:52:01,859 --> 01:52:03,520 South Side Chapter. 1398 01:52:05,797 --> 01:52:11,326 Now, some people say he's gotten a little too big for his spats. 1399 01:52:11,402 --> 01:52:14,530 But I say he's a man who'll go far. 1400 01:52:15,239 --> 01:52:18,402 Some people say he's gone too far. 1401 01:52:19,377 --> 01:52:23,245 But I say, you can't keep a good man down. 1402 01:52:24,315 --> 01:52:26,408 Of course, he's still got a lot to learn. 1403 01:52:26,484 --> 01:52:29,248 The big noise he made on St Valentine's Day, 1404 01:52:29,320 --> 01:52:32,721 that wasn't very good for public relations. 1405 01:52:32,790 --> 01:52:37,352 And lettin' them two witnesses get away. That sure was careless. 1406 01:52:38,830 --> 01:52:41,799 Don't worry about those two. They're as good as dead. 1407 01:52:41,866 --> 01:52:43,959 I almost caught up with them today. 1408 01:52:44,035 --> 01:52:47,698 You mean you let 'em get away twice? 1409 01:52:48,339 --> 01:52:51,467 Some people would say that's real sloppy. 1410 01:52:51,542 --> 01:52:55,911 But I say: To err is human, to forgive divine. 1411 01:52:55,980 --> 01:52:58,414 And just to show you what I think of you, Spats, 1412 01:52:58,483 --> 01:53:01,008 the boys told me you was gonna have a birthday. 1413 01:53:01,085 --> 01:53:03,110 So we baked you a little cake. 1414 01:53:03,955 --> 01:53:05,786 My birthday? 1415 01:53:05,857 --> 01:53:07,791 Why, it ain't for another four months. 1416 01:53:08,493 --> 01:53:12,657 So we're a little early. What's a few months between friends? 1417 01:53:12,730 --> 01:53:14,960 All right, boys. Now all together. 1418 01:53:15,033 --> 01:53:17,593 For he's a jolly good fellow 1419 01:53:17,669 --> 01:53:20,103 For he's a jolly good fellow 1420 01:53:20,171 --> 01:53:23,971 For he's a jolly good fellow 1421 01:53:24,042 --> 01:53:26,567 Which nobody can deny 1422 01:53:26,644 --> 01:53:29,078 Which nobody can deny 1423 01:53:29,147 --> 01:53:31,479 Which nobody can deny 1424 01:53:31,549 --> 01:53:33,983 For he's a jolly good fellow 1425 01:53:34,052 --> 01:53:36,316 For he's a jolly good fellow 1426 01:53:36,387 --> 01:53:40,187 For he's a jolly good fellow 1427 01:53:40,258 --> 01:53:43,591 Which nobody can deny 1428 01:53:58,743 --> 01:54:00,574 Big joke. 1429 01:54:07,685 --> 01:54:09,812 Let's get outta here. 1430 01:54:12,790 --> 01:54:14,781 Get those two guys. 1431 01:54:22,200 --> 01:54:24,168 What happened here? 1432 01:54:24,235 --> 01:54:27,966 There was somethin' in that cake that didn't agree with 'em. 1433 01:54:29,574 --> 01:54:33,874 My compliments to the chef. Nobody leaves this room till I get the recipe. 1434 01:54:33,945 --> 01:54:36,106 You wanna make a federal case of it? 1435 01:54:40,985 --> 01:54:42,646 Yeah. 1436 01:55:10,381 --> 01:55:11,848 They slipped through our hands. 1437 01:55:11,916 --> 01:55:16,250 We're watchin' the train station, roads and airport. They can't get away. 1438 01:55:16,320 --> 01:55:19,153 - Did you hear that? - But they're not watching yachts. 1439 01:55:19,223 --> 01:55:22,784 - You're gonna call Osgood. - What'll I tell him? 1440 01:55:22,860 --> 01:55:25,454 Tell him you're gonna elope with him. 1441 01:55:25,530 --> 01:55:28,226 Elope? But there are laws, conventions. 1442 01:55:28,299 --> 01:55:32,429 There's a convention, all right. There's also the ladies' morgue. 1443 01:57:34,225 --> 01:57:35,692 Josephine. 1444 01:57:37,328 --> 01:57:39,990 Bienstock! 1445 01:57:40,998 --> 01:57:42,863 Hey. That's no dame. 1446 01:57:43,367 --> 01:57:45,528 None of that, Sugar. 1447 01:57:45,603 --> 01:57:47,594 No guy is worth it. 1448 01:57:50,942 --> 01:57:52,933 Grab her. 1449 01:57:56,747 --> 01:57:58,578 Josephine? 1450 01:58:04,021 --> 01:58:07,957 - Osgood's meeting us at the pier. - We're not on the pier yet. 1451 01:58:58,476 --> 01:58:59,670 Hi. 1452 01:58:59,744 --> 01:59:02,178 My friend Josephine, gonna be a bridesmaid. 1453 01:59:02,246 --> 01:59:04,714 - Pleased to meet you. - Come on. 1454 01:59:04,782 --> 01:59:06,511 She's so eager. 1455 01:59:20,698 --> 01:59:22,723 Wait for Sugar! 1456 01:59:28,005 --> 01:59:30,371 - Another bridesmaid? - Flower girl. 1457 01:59:30,441 --> 01:59:33,774 - Sugar, what are you doing? - I told you, I'm not very bright. 1458 01:59:33,844 --> 01:59:35,835 Let's go. 1459 01:59:38,916 --> 01:59:40,508 You don't want me, Sugar. 1460 01:59:40,584 --> 01:59:43,144 I'm a liar and a phony. A saxophone player. 1461 01:59:43,220 --> 01:59:45,654 One of those no-goodniks you keep running away from. 1462 01:59:45,723 --> 01:59:47,281 I know. Every time. 1463 01:59:47,358 --> 01:59:50,589 Sugar, do yourself a favor. Go back to the millionaires. 1464 01:59:50,661 --> 01:59:52,219 The sweet end of the lollipop, 1465 01:59:52,296 --> 01:59:56,198 not the coleslaw in the face and the squeezed-out tube of toothpaste. 1466 01:59:56,267 --> 01:59:58,861 That's right, pour it on. Talk me out of it. 1467 02:00:04,275 --> 02:00:06,800 I called Mama. She was so happy, she cried. 1468 02:00:06,877 --> 02:00:09,573 She wants you to have her wedding gown. It's white lace. 1469 02:00:09,647 --> 02:00:12,844 Osgood, I can't get married in your mother's dress. 1470 02:00:14,418 --> 02:00:17,717 She and I, we are not built the same way. 1471 02:00:17,788 --> 02:00:20,382 - We can have it altered. - Oh no, you don't. 1472 02:00:21,826 --> 02:00:25,125 Osgood, I'm gonna level with you. We can't get married at all. 1473 02:00:25,196 --> 02:00:26,629 Why not? 1474 02:00:26,697 --> 02:00:28,096 Well... 1475 02:00:28,165 --> 02:00:30,793 In the first place, I'm not a natural blonde. 1476 02:00:30,868 --> 02:00:32,665 Doesn't matter. 1477 02:00:32,736 --> 02:00:34,931 I smoke. I smoke all the time. 1478 02:00:35,005 --> 02:00:36,700 I don't care. 1479 02:00:36,774 --> 02:00:41,074 I have a terrible past. For three years I've been living with a saxophone player. 1480 02:00:41,145 --> 02:00:42,976 I forgive you. 1481 02:00:44,648 --> 02:00:47,515 I can never have children. 1482 02:00:47,585 --> 02:00:51,578 - We can adopt some. - You don't understand, Osgood. 1483 02:00:53,324 --> 02:00:55,485 - I'm a man. - Well, 1484 02:00:55,559 --> 02:00:57,550 nobody's perfect. 1485 02:01:01,966 --> 02:01:05,458 Subtitles by Visiontext 1486 02:01:05,458 --> 02:01:15,458 DVDRIP by Feedback Overflow.