1
00:01:04,645 --> 00:01:06,363
You're lucky, you know.
2
00:01:06,605 --> 00:01:09,722
I rarely allow anyone into my flat.
3
00:01:10,085 --> 00:01:13,441
I know, I know, I know.
4
00:01:13,685 --> 00:01:15,596
Humble digs.
5
00:01:15,845 --> 00:01:18,996
Not exactly what you'd call
a "panty peeler."
6
00:01:20,525 --> 00:01:22,277
Do you know what I mean?
7
00:01:24,245 --> 00:01:26,679
But it suits me just fine.
8
00:01:26,925 --> 00:01:30,474
To be honest, I rarely spend a night
in my own bed anyway.
9
00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:33,683
You see, here's my theory:
10
00:01:33,925 --> 00:01:36,837
For most women, if a guy's
a good provider
11
00:01:37,085 --> 00:01:41,283
and generally a nice chap, six-pack
abs really aren't a deal-breaker.
12
00:01:41,525 --> 00:01:43,038
On the flip side, however,
13
00:01:43,285 --> 00:01:45,355
even though the PC boyfriend
sat next to you
14
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:48,073
with his arm slung around
your shoulder will deny it...
15
00:01:48,645 --> 00:01:53,355
And he will deny it. For us boys,
it's all about F.B.B.
16
00:01:56,645 --> 00:02:00,240
Face. Boobs. Bum.
17
00:02:00,485 --> 00:02:02,077
I'm just being honest.
18
00:02:02,605 --> 00:02:05,517
It's been said that clothes
speak the international language.
19
00:02:05,765 --> 00:02:08,916
And I have to admit,
I'm a bit of a fashion whore.
20
00:02:09,525 --> 00:02:12,562
Unfortunately, today I've got work,
and I have to tone it down a little bit,
21
00:02:12,805 --> 00:02:15,797
but that's all right. Gucci.
End-of-summer sale.
22
00:02:16,045 --> 00:02:20,402
Very understated.
And I can easily spice it up with...
23
00:02:20,965 --> 00:02:23,718
What? No, no. I know
what you are thinking.
24
00:02:23,965 --> 00:02:26,035
If you ooze masculinity,
like some of us do,
25
00:02:26,285 --> 00:02:29,402
you have no reason to fear pink.
Smashing.
26
00:02:30,765 --> 00:02:34,075
Now, in the cologne department,
most men overdo it.
27
00:02:34,325 --> 00:02:38,398
Americans practically spray it on
with a crop-duster.
28
00:02:38,645 --> 00:02:41,842
My rule: Nothing above the neck,
29
00:02:42,085 --> 00:02:45,395
though I do like a little splash
on Big Ben.
30
00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:47,995
You never know
where the day may take you.
31
00:02:51,125 --> 00:02:52,922
Almost forgot.
32
00:02:53,685 --> 00:02:55,004
New word for the day.
33
00:02:56,725 --> 00:03:02,800
"Ostentatious: The attempt
to attract attention to oneself."
34
00:03:03,045 --> 00:03:05,400
Who? Me?
35
00:03:07,605 --> 00:03:10,677
Oh, blimey. I'm so rude.
I haven't introduced myself.
36
00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:13,200
- I'm...
- Alfie?
37
00:03:13,765 --> 00:03:15,915
There you go. Alfie.
38
00:03:16,165 --> 00:03:20,795
Are you the little elf that left these
mocha bonbons on my doorstep?
39
00:03:21,045 --> 00:03:24,594
No, no, no. You must have
a secret admirer, Mrs Schnitman.
40
00:03:24,845 --> 00:03:28,633
You are such a doll, Alfie.
But I'm supposed to be on a diet.
41
00:03:28,885 --> 00:03:29,840
Oh, on a diet?
42
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:31,200
- A diet.
- You?
43
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:33,720
- Yeah.
- Now, I don't mean to be forward, Lu,
44
00:03:33,965 --> 00:03:37,640
but you should know by now
that a full-figured girl like yourself
45
00:03:37,845 --> 00:03:40,564
- is every guy's secret fantasy.
- Stop it.
46
00:03:40,765 --> 00:03:43,154
So she's a tub of lard.
The ship's already sailed,
47
00:03:43,405 --> 00:03:45,680
so why not make her
feel good about herself, right?
48
00:03:45,925 --> 00:03:47,643
- Oh, Lu?
- Yes, angel?
49
00:03:47,885 --> 00:03:48,874
I'm working the night spot,
50
00:03:49,085 --> 00:03:51,519
and my apartment is a horror show,
so I'm sorry if I keep you up
51
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:54,279
- with the dust-busting at 2 a.m.
- Oh, don't you worry.
52
00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:57,562
- I'll give it a quick straighten.
- Oh, no, no, you don't need to that.
53
00:03:57,805 --> 00:04:01,320
Nonsense.
I like doing things for you, Alfie.
54
00:04:01,765 --> 00:04:04,518
I'm a blessed man
having you in my life.
55
00:04:06,445 --> 00:04:07,514
Thank you.
56
00:04:08,005 --> 00:04:10,121
Keys are in the usual spot.
57
00:04:15,845 --> 00:04:18,518
Now, back home, you're always
hearing tales about some bloke
58
00:04:18,765 --> 00:04:21,757
migrating to the States and winding
up with buckets of money.
59
00:04:22,005 --> 00:04:26,123
So not long ago, I packed up
my bucket and headed west.
60
00:04:26,365 --> 00:04:29,118
Now, I must admit,
I had a second motive.
61
00:04:29,845 --> 00:04:34,521
I'd always been told that the most
beautiful women in the world...
62
00:04:35,645 --> 00:04:37,237
...resided in Manhattan.
63
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:40,682
And when it comes to shagging birds,
it's all about one thing:
64
00:04:41,205 --> 00:04:45,915
Location, location, location.
65
00:04:46,165 --> 00:04:48,838
God, I love this city.
All right, girls.
66
00:04:49,525 --> 00:04:53,564
Just look around. I mean,
every one of them, unique, special,
67
00:04:53,805 --> 00:04:55,602
like snowflakes.
68
00:04:58,325 --> 00:04:59,644
And with such a plethora...
69
00:05:00,245 --> 00:05:04,284
Calendar word meaning "abundance,"
of gorgeousness and diversity,
70
00:05:04,525 --> 00:05:08,404
well, how could a man ever choose
to settle down with just one?
71
00:05:09,805 --> 00:05:12,922
I myself subscribe more
to the European philosophy of life.
72
00:05:13,165 --> 00:05:16,396
My priorities leaning towards
wine, women...
73
00:05:16,645 --> 00:05:18,681
Well, actually, that's about it.
74
00:05:18,925 --> 00:05:20,756
Wine and women.
75
00:05:22,805 --> 00:05:26,957
Although, women and women
is always a fun option.
76
00:05:29,965 --> 00:05:31,398
So...
77
00:05:32,125 --> 00:05:34,639
...to live life to the fullest,
78
00:05:35,525 --> 00:05:39,074
I require only enough
to cover my modest expenses.
79
00:05:40,205 --> 00:05:43,481
I've no desire to be the richest stiff
in the cemetery.
80
00:05:53,245 --> 00:05:56,521
I think this might just be my
favourite position.
81
00:05:56,765 --> 00:05:59,233
I know it was President Kennedy's.
82
00:06:00,325 --> 00:06:02,395
He was such a great leader.
83
00:06:02,645 --> 00:06:04,920
Of course, JFK used the old
bad-back excuse,
84
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:08,123
but if you ask me, he knew
it gave you maximum pleasure
85
00:06:08,365 --> 00:06:09,764
with minimum exertion.
86
00:06:10,005 --> 00:06:12,644
What is it about the back of a limo?
87
00:06:16,925 --> 00:06:19,041
Obligatory cuddling.
88
00:06:19,565 --> 00:06:21,362
Thousand one,
89
00:06:21,605 --> 00:06:23,721
thousand two...
90
00:06:23,965 --> 00:06:28,243
Cripes. Hey, I've gotta get cracking.
I've got a 10:00 pickup.
91
00:06:28,485 --> 00:06:33,513
You better hurry up.
You don't want to keep her waiting.
92
00:06:38,725 --> 00:06:41,193
Quite the number, isn't she?
93
00:06:41,965 --> 00:06:46,641
Yet, she tells me her old man
hasn't shagged her in six months.
94
00:06:47,245 --> 00:06:51,363
Six months. I mean, thank God
there are gentlemen like me around
95
00:06:51,605 --> 00:06:53,561
to pick up the slack.
96
00:06:53,965 --> 00:06:57,480
Just look at her.
Legs like a racehorse.
97
00:06:57,725 --> 00:07:01,559
Perfect yoga bum. I give her
my highest grade:
98
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,723
A-minus.
99
00:07:13,645 --> 00:07:15,601
Where did we tell the old man
we were going tonight?
100
00:07:15,845 --> 00:07:18,518
- A movie.
- Treasure, please, no, no, no.
101
00:07:18,765 --> 00:07:21,563
Stop messing about.
You'll ruin my presets.
102
00:07:21,805 --> 00:07:24,194
- Sorry.
- What movie?
103
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:26,879
I don't know. What's the difference?
104
00:07:27,365 --> 00:07:31,802
The difference is, the more detail
you give, the less interested he'll be.
105
00:07:32,045 --> 00:07:33,763
It wouldn't matter what I said.
106
00:07:34,205 --> 00:07:35,957
It would never occur to Phil
that another man
107
00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:37,957
- would ever look twice at me.
- Dor, darling,
108
00:07:38,205 --> 00:07:39,274
you fishing for a compliment?
109
00:07:39,685 --> 00:07:40,800
No.
110
00:07:41,045 --> 00:07:45,402
You should know by now they only
come from me when least expected.
111
00:07:46,445 --> 00:07:49,881
Now, come and have a mint so Phil
doesn't smell the Alfie on your breath.
112
00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:52,639
I don't care if he does.
113
00:07:53,205 --> 00:07:57,278
There's one thing that puts me
off marriage: It's married women.
114
00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:59,721
Dorie doesn't know it yet,
115
00:08:00,205 --> 00:08:02,560
but you won't be seeing
much more of her.
116
00:08:02,805 --> 00:08:05,319
I've got that all-too-familiar feeling.
117
00:08:05,565 --> 00:08:09,877
Sooner or later, she'll be wanting
a little bit more than I'm able to give.
118
00:08:11,205 --> 00:08:13,435
Wouldn't it be great if I was
going home with you tonight
119
00:08:13,685 --> 00:08:16,153
instead of Phil the Pill?
120
00:08:16,725 --> 00:08:18,283
Yeah.
121
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:22,155
It's definitely time
to stage a disappearing act.
122
00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:28,075
So next Tuesday,
same time, same place?
123
00:08:29,565 --> 00:08:32,921
I'm sorry, love, it's Fashion Week.
I'm booked double shifts.
124
00:08:33,765 --> 00:08:36,438
- I'll call you the instant things let up.
- Okay.
125
00:08:37,205 --> 00:08:40,959
In the meantime, I left you
a little souvenir to remember me by.
126
00:08:45,205 --> 00:08:46,843
Oh, Dor?
127
00:08:48,725 --> 00:08:52,843
Your derri�re looks really rather
ravishing from this vantage point.
128
00:08:55,485 --> 00:08:56,884
See?
129
00:08:57,565 --> 00:09:00,716
A compliment when least expected.
130
00:09:07,205 --> 00:09:10,754
What can I say?
Happy as a pup with two tails.
131
00:09:12,645 --> 00:09:15,876
And I think I've done old Phil
a bit of a favour too.
132
00:09:16,125 --> 00:09:18,036
Of course, he'd be the last to see it.
133
00:09:20,765 --> 00:09:23,996
Never expect any thanks in this life.
134
00:09:24,245 --> 00:09:28,238
You know what I mean?
So Tuesday...
135
00:09:30,205 --> 00:09:32,116
...10:03 p.m.
136
00:09:32,365 --> 00:09:37,041
Do I drag myself home
to a cold flat, empty fridge,
137
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:44,123
or nip across town for a hot bath,
warm body, breakfast in bed?
138
00:09:47,085 --> 00:09:49,758
Decisions, decisions...
139
00:09:57,765 --> 00:10:01,155
Yeah, I think I'll pay a visit
to my semi-regular,
140
00:10:01,405 --> 00:10:04,477
quasi, sort of girlfriend.
141
00:10:05,685 --> 00:10:07,721
My sweet Julie.
142
00:10:13,285 --> 00:10:15,355
Let me guess.
Unexpected last-minute fare.
143
00:10:15,605 --> 00:10:18,677
Yeah. She had me going
up and down for hours.
144
00:10:18,925 --> 00:10:22,395
That supposed to be funny?
Because it is so very...
145
00:10:23,125 --> 00:10:24,683
Not.
146
00:10:25,485 --> 00:10:26,964
Hey!
147
00:10:27,925 --> 00:10:30,120
I'm not kidding, Alfie!
148
00:10:30,485 --> 00:10:31,964
I'm not kidding. I hate you sometimes.
149
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,917
You have a very ostentatious way
of showing it.
150
00:10:34,165 --> 00:10:35,837
Yeah, I sure do.
151
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:42,714
No, darling. Can we hit pause?
I just need a second to unwind.
152
00:10:43,405 --> 00:10:46,238
Oh, I nicked half a bottle
of Stoli from the limo.
153
00:10:46,485 --> 00:10:47,838
How do you want yours,
on the rocks?
154
00:10:48,085 --> 00:10:50,553
I just want my usual, Alfie. Straight up.
155
00:10:50,805 --> 00:10:53,922
No, I'm so totally knackered.
I'll make it up to you in the morning.
156
00:10:54,165 --> 00:10:56,235
Cross my heart.
157
00:10:56,925 --> 00:11:01,362
But tonight, all I'm good for
is a bite to eat, hot bath
158
00:11:01,605 --> 00:11:03,596
and a nice long sleep.
159
00:11:16,685 --> 00:11:18,835
You know, this isn't
a Holiday Inn, Alfie.
160
00:11:20,125 --> 00:11:21,717
What's that again?
161
00:11:22,525 --> 00:11:24,993
Where were you tonight? Really?
162
00:11:25,245 --> 00:11:27,600
You've got to open a restaurant.
That's seriously delicious.
163
00:11:27,845 --> 00:11:30,564
Thanks, Alfie. It's just chilli.
164
00:11:31,645 --> 00:11:32,964
Hey.
165
00:11:33,965 --> 00:11:36,763
A little eye contact, please.
166
00:11:38,485 --> 00:11:40,282
We have something here,
167
00:11:40,805 --> 00:11:45,560
or am I just a glorified booty call?
168
00:11:46,285 --> 00:11:47,638
Hey.
169
00:11:50,525 --> 00:11:51,878
Hey.
170
00:11:54,725 --> 00:11:56,556
Here's what she's really saying:
171
00:11:56,805 --> 00:12:00,718
She wants me to commit.
Translation: Become "domestified."
172
00:12:00,965 --> 00:12:06,039
Now, it doesn't do to become
dependent on anybody in this life.
173
00:12:09,365 --> 00:12:12,801
Change your nature,
you're a dead man.
174
00:12:14,445 --> 00:12:16,322
Chilli, please.
175
00:12:21,325 --> 00:12:24,283
Don't get me wrong.
She's adorable.
176
00:12:24,525 --> 00:12:27,995
Cute? Absolutely.
But is it ever enough?
177
00:12:30,045 --> 00:12:33,082
I told you how we men are.
We want showstoppers.
178
00:12:33,445 --> 00:12:36,039
And the problem is,
Julie hasn't got enough
179
00:12:36,245 --> 00:12:38,839
of the superficial things
that really matter.
180
00:12:42,085 --> 00:12:45,521
- I don't deserve you.
- Yeah, that's probably true.
181
00:12:46,645 --> 00:12:49,079
Too bad I love you.
182
00:12:50,965 --> 00:12:52,683
Thanks, babe.
183
00:12:52,925 --> 00:12:55,997
- Alfie, Alfie...
- What?
184
00:12:56,845 --> 00:12:59,439
You're giving me the "Thanks, babe."
185
00:12:59,965 --> 00:13:02,001
You're giving me the "Thanks, baby."
186
00:13:02,245 --> 00:13:04,315
- Calm down.
- Don't tell me to calm down!
187
00:13:04,685 --> 00:13:06,243
- I know how you feel!
- Wait a minute.
188
00:13:06,485 --> 00:13:08,840
- You're gonna wake up...
- Max.
189
00:13:09,925 --> 00:13:12,200
Hey, little man. Did we wake you up?
190
00:13:12,445 --> 00:13:14,083
Yes.
191
00:13:16,845 --> 00:13:20,315
Now, lads, learn from my mistake.
192
00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:23,276
Never get involved
with a single mum.
193
00:13:23,525 --> 00:13:25,880
See, they come with accessories,
194
00:13:26,125 --> 00:13:27,763
some of which can be...
195
00:13:29,085 --> 00:13:32,680
...unfortunately, irresistible.
196
00:13:49,365 --> 00:13:54,200
Sights like that make you realize
we all have an expiration date.
197
00:13:55,005 --> 00:13:57,599
And women do have a shorter
shelf life than men, don't they?
198
00:13:58,045 --> 00:14:00,479
I think that's what Julie
was banging on about yesterday.
199
00:14:03,205 --> 00:14:05,719
Elegant Limousine and Chauffeur.
200
00:14:05,965 --> 00:14:09,958
This is where I make
my reasonably honest living.
201
00:14:10,565 --> 00:14:13,762
Standards of elegance has taken
quite a pounding, wouldn't you say?
202
00:14:14,005 --> 00:14:16,963
I know. Believe me,
it's merely a stepping stone.
203
00:14:17,805 --> 00:14:19,682
Currently parked on one
of those stepping stones
204
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:24,237
is my best mate and future
business partner, Marlon.
205
00:14:27,045 --> 00:14:30,276
Black. Like Lonette's skin...
206
00:14:31,365 --> 00:14:33,833
...which I will never again touch.
207
00:14:36,445 --> 00:14:40,074
I'm afraid you're not meeting
my man on top form.
208
00:14:41,045 --> 00:14:43,320
See, Marlon's got a problem.
209
00:14:54,205 --> 00:14:56,036
It's called Lonette.
210
00:14:56,285 --> 00:14:58,924
And very recently, it dumped him.
211
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:00,917
Oh, dear. Come on,
what was it this time?
212
00:15:02,245 --> 00:15:05,078
Three a.m. Begging, at her front door.
213
00:15:05,325 --> 00:15:08,044
- Level of inebriation?
- Vomiting.
214
00:15:08,645 --> 00:15:11,113
Right. So let me get this straight.
You were at her front door,
215
00:15:11,365 --> 00:15:14,562
3 a.m. In the morning,
begging and vomiting?
216
00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:18,594
And what,
she wasn't charmed by that?
217
00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:24,440
Alfie? Why is there no Stoli
in car number two?
218
00:15:24,685 --> 00:15:26,437
I've no idea.
219
00:15:27,125 --> 00:15:30,197
I gotta watch this guy like a hawk.
220
00:15:30,445 --> 00:15:31,924
That little chap's name is Wing.
221
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:35,316
My boss and owner
of this tragic enterprise.
222
00:15:35,565 --> 00:15:38,159
- Wipe that car good.
- Owner, that is, till me and Marlon
223
00:15:38,365 --> 00:15:40,720
swing a loan and buy it out
from underneath his scrawny...
224
00:15:40,965 --> 00:15:43,877
Hello. You miss bird shit.
225
00:15:46,685 --> 00:15:48,357
Wing.
226
00:15:48,605 --> 00:15:50,402
He's barking mad.
227
00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:52,920
Check out the way he talks
to the little woman.
228
00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:58,038
She's given him her best years,
cooked his chop suey,
229
00:15:58,285 --> 00:16:00,719
helped with the business, and I bet
at one time he couldn't wait
230
00:16:00,965 --> 00:16:03,354
to rip off her kimono.
And now look at him.
231
00:16:07,325 --> 00:16:11,113
And I'm supposed to respect
the institution of marriage?
232
00:16:14,805 --> 00:16:17,763
That's a great figure, man.
We swing that loan,
233
00:16:18,005 --> 00:16:20,883
cash your IRA, I hock my Vespa...
234
00:16:21,125 --> 00:16:25,118
We're gonna take Wing
by surprise with an offer like this.
235
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,923
I could've predicted this. See,
Marlon and Lonette have reached
236
00:16:35,165 --> 00:16:37,520
that critical 18-month "Where are
we going, what are we doing,
237
00:16:37,765 --> 00:16:40,484
what's happening here?" crisis point
that rears its ugly head
238
00:16:40,725 --> 00:16:44,764
in every relationship.
Lonette wanted ring, home, baby.
239
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,724
Marlon wanted another 18 months
240
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:50,035
to make sure nothing better
was coming his way.
241
00:16:50,285 --> 00:16:52,515
I fucked up egregiously.
242
00:16:52,765 --> 00:16:55,677
I see you're making the most
of that birthday calendar.
243
00:16:56,365 --> 00:17:00,404
By the time he realized he'd made
a mistake and he wanted her back...
244
00:17:01,445 --> 00:17:04,164
...it was too late.
- Hey, stranger.
245
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,204
Hey.
246
00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:15,044
Carol.
247
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:18,243
- Carol. Hi, Carol.
- Hi.
248
00:17:18,885 --> 00:17:20,716
You look wonderful.
249
00:17:24,165 --> 00:17:27,953
So, Carol, well, it's nice
to see you again. You be well.
250
00:17:35,925 --> 00:17:37,074
What's up with that?
251
00:17:37,325 --> 00:17:40,681
Put it this way, the show closed
after one performance only.
252
00:17:40,925 --> 00:17:42,563
- Do I even wanna know why?
- No. Come on,
253
00:17:42,805 --> 00:17:45,797
it would be less than discreet
to tell you why.
254
00:17:47,725 --> 00:17:51,161
Hair on the arms. Seriously.
Long, thick...
255
00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:54,477
What are you talking about?
You don't have hair on your arms?
256
00:17:55,485 --> 00:17:58,557
- You're looking very lovely tonight.
- Thank you.
257
00:18:05,965 --> 00:18:09,753
Dude, the iron door
has slammed shut, man.
258
00:18:12,685 --> 00:18:14,562
Classic, isn't it?
259
00:18:14,805 --> 00:18:18,480
Now that he can't have her,
he thinks he can't live without her.
260
00:18:18,885 --> 00:18:20,921
Some people are funny.
261
00:18:22,165 --> 00:18:24,679
Marlon's predicament got me thinking
about my own situation.
262
00:18:28,165 --> 00:18:32,204
Maybe... Maybe it was time
to stoke the home fires.
263
00:18:34,885 --> 00:18:37,797
Anybody in the mood
for a little Alfie, straight up?
264
00:18:38,045 --> 00:18:42,118
Oh, this isn't a good time, Alfie.
Got a lot on my mind.
265
00:18:42,365 --> 00:18:46,358
Oh, God. Yeah, I really hate
when that happens.
266
00:18:46,605 --> 00:18:51,201
Open up, baby.
You look seriously beautiful.
267
00:18:51,445 --> 00:18:54,517
- Not tonight, Alfred.
- What's the matter? Tell me.
268
00:18:54,765 --> 00:18:58,360
I don't... I'm just...
Well, I guess I'm... I'm just...
269
00:18:58,605 --> 00:19:02,154
I'm just seeing red.
270
00:19:16,805 --> 00:19:18,716
I mean, the poor guy, he's dying.
271
00:19:18,965 --> 00:19:21,274
Come on, haven't you...?
You've tortured him long enough.
272
00:19:21,525 --> 00:19:23,163
Alfie, he should've thought
about all that
273
00:19:23,405 --> 00:19:26,124
before he was screwing around
with that ex-girlfriend of his.
274
00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:28,560
Those fake-ass, $5 titties.
275
00:19:29,165 --> 00:19:31,554
- Those are fake?
- Hello?
276
00:19:31,805 --> 00:19:35,036
Wow, I'm devastated.
They've got, like...
277
00:19:35,445 --> 00:19:38,755
Alfie, you're supposed to be consoling
my devastation, remember?
278
00:19:39,005 --> 00:19:41,155
I am. Look, he came back, didn't he?
279
00:19:41,405 --> 00:19:43,680
Begging, crawling on his knees,
vomiting...
280
00:19:43,925 --> 00:19:45,483
I don't care.
281
00:19:45,725 --> 00:19:49,684
I'm sorry, I'm not that easy. I don't
forgive and I definitely do not forget.
282
00:19:49,925 --> 00:19:52,120
- Is okay if I leave now, miss?
- Oh, s�, Felix.
283
00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:54,959
And hit the lights on your way out,
por favor.
284
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:00,683
I better go.
285
00:20:01,205 --> 00:20:03,435
It's really coming down out there.
286
00:20:03,685 --> 00:20:05,516
Yeah.
287
00:20:06,485 --> 00:20:08,601
And I'm wearing suede.
288
00:20:09,685 --> 00:20:12,279
You're telling the truth. That's brilliant.
289
00:20:13,445 --> 00:20:16,960
Okay. I got one. I never swam
in the Pacific Ocean.
290
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:21,474
- Me neither.
- Oh, shit. Okay.
291
00:20:23,045 --> 00:20:28,517
Okay. I've never seen
a James Bond movie.
292
00:20:29,045 --> 00:20:30,876
You're joking.
Not even a Sean Connery?
293
00:20:31,885 --> 00:20:33,113
You serious?
294
00:20:33,365 --> 00:20:37,483
Wow, I don't know
if that's magic or tragic.
295
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,643
Okay. Five ball. My go.
296
00:20:41,405 --> 00:20:44,920
- I've never made my own bed.
- Oh, bullshit.
297
00:20:45,165 --> 00:20:47,156
No, I repeat, I've never
made my own bed.
298
00:20:47,405 --> 00:20:49,919
Well, what kind of mama you got?
299
00:20:50,485 --> 00:20:51,964
That's a good question.
300
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:00,841
Let's see. All right.
301
00:21:01,085 --> 00:21:03,599
- I got something for you.
- All right.
302
00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:06,683
I've never had sex...
303
00:21:06,925 --> 00:21:09,598
I've never had sex
with two people in one night.
304
00:21:11,085 --> 00:21:13,121
Six-five, your favour.
305
00:21:13,365 --> 00:21:15,037
Gotcha.
306
00:21:17,565 --> 00:21:20,716
So, Alfie, what's the most
you've had in one night?
307
00:21:24,725 --> 00:21:27,239
We've stopped playing the game,
haven't we?
308
00:21:30,605 --> 00:21:34,996
Am I wrong, or is there a little
innocent flirting going on here?
309
00:21:46,965 --> 00:21:51,004
Driftin' on a memory
310
00:21:51,565 --> 00:21:57,162
Ain't no place I'd rather be
Than with you
311
00:21:58,925 --> 00:22:02,076
Loving you
312
00:22:10,485 --> 00:22:12,715
See, if I had that kind of talent...
313
00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:14,717
And a song
314
00:22:14,965 --> 00:22:18,002
- Go on, finish your sentence.
- If I had that kind of talent,
315
00:22:18,685 --> 00:22:21,563
and I looked like you...
316
00:22:21,805 --> 00:22:23,284
And a song
317
00:22:23,525 --> 00:22:25,595
...I would be strutting my stuff
- Oh, yeah?
318
00:22:25,805 --> 00:22:27,921
On a stage.
319
00:22:47,885 --> 00:22:50,877
Trust me, what happens next
was the furthest thing from my mind
320
00:22:51,085 --> 00:22:52,962
when I dropped by tonight.
321
00:22:54,285 --> 00:22:57,675
But then I thought to myself,
322
00:22:57,925 --> 00:22:59,199
"You know what?
323
00:22:59,445 --> 00:23:02,198
If this will help her get past
her anger towards Marlon,
324
00:23:02,445 --> 00:23:05,596
I owe it to both of them,
as a friend, right?
325
00:23:05,845 --> 00:23:08,439
To do whatever I can to help. "
326
00:23:14,485 --> 00:23:16,521
I find that, lately,
327
00:23:17,085 --> 00:23:19,918
even lying to myself comes easily.
328
00:24:06,485 --> 00:24:10,273
The next morning, and I can't
get last night out of my mind.
329
00:24:10,805 --> 00:24:14,878
Try desperately to focus
on something else, anything else.
330
00:24:15,285 --> 00:24:18,436
Anything to get my mind
off my best friend's incredibly hot,
331
00:24:19,165 --> 00:24:22,794
best-ass-I've-ever-seen-in-my-life
girlfriend.
332
00:24:24,365 --> 00:24:26,959
Alfie. Alfie.
333
00:24:27,205 --> 00:24:29,799
- Alfie!
- Shall I pretend I can't hear him?
334
00:24:30,005 --> 00:24:31,484
Dude.
335
00:24:32,325 --> 00:24:34,919
- Hey!
- Too late. Too late.
336
00:24:35,165 --> 00:24:38,316
- Dude, would you slow down?
- Hey, Marly, what's up?
337
00:24:39,085 --> 00:24:40,074
"Marly"?
338
00:24:40,805 --> 00:24:43,160
Hey, listen, I gotta talk to you.
You ain't going nowhere
339
00:24:43,405 --> 00:24:45,043
till you tell me
what went down last night.
340
00:24:45,285 --> 00:24:47,753
- Down last night?
- Dude, don't mess with me.
341
00:24:48,005 --> 00:24:50,041
What happened with Lonette?
342
00:24:51,165 --> 00:24:53,121
Have you ever heard
the word "knock"?
343
00:24:53,365 --> 00:24:56,038
- What went down?
- What? Nothing happened.
344
00:24:56,285 --> 00:24:59,436
- We had a few shots.
- Missus give me silent treatment.
345
00:24:59,685 --> 00:25:03,234
Little she know, not hearing constant
"blah, blah, blah" is gift from heaven.
346
00:25:03,485 --> 00:25:05,237
You keep it up. Keep it up,
mate, it'll work.
347
00:25:05,485 --> 00:25:07,362
Alfie, what happened?
348
00:25:08,845 --> 00:25:11,154
Oh, fuck a duck, man. Look, I...
349
00:25:12,765 --> 00:25:15,484
- I drank a lot last night.
- Drunk.
350
00:25:16,085 --> 00:25:17,882
Well, I...
351
00:25:19,565 --> 00:25:21,840
I really... I don't remember.
352
00:25:22,085 --> 00:25:24,599
- Dude, you did something to her.
- No.
353
00:25:24,845 --> 00:25:26,801
Oh, yeah, you did.
Because she shows up at my house,
354
00:25:27,045 --> 00:25:29,036
at 4 in the morning,
saying that she wanted me back.
355
00:25:29,285 --> 00:25:32,083
She even said
that if I needed more time,
356
00:25:32,325 --> 00:25:35,123
that she understood completely.
357
00:25:35,365 --> 00:25:36,957
How fucking crazy.
358
00:25:39,045 --> 00:25:43,402
Chalk one up for the blokes.
Thanks to me, Marlon won the game.
359
00:25:43,685 --> 00:25:45,801
Which means he's off scot-free,
and so am I.
360
00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:48,639
This is a bloody miracle.
That's fantastic. Fantastic.
361
00:25:48,845 --> 00:25:50,836
- Come on, what did you say to her?
- Look, look.
362
00:25:51,085 --> 00:25:53,553
- It's all good.
- Come on, what did you say?
363
00:25:54,965 --> 00:25:56,239
I asked her to marry me.
364
00:26:01,805 --> 00:26:04,160
You know you're my best man, right?
365
00:26:05,445 --> 00:26:07,276
Moral of the story:
366
00:26:07,525 --> 00:26:10,597
No good deed goes unpunished.
367
00:27:04,365 --> 00:27:05,878
New word for the day?
368
00:27:08,325 --> 00:27:09,519
"Resilience:
369
00:27:10,245 --> 00:27:14,841
The ability to readily recover
after disappointment or loss."
370
00:27:16,565 --> 00:27:19,204
Capacity to spring back.
371
00:27:19,445 --> 00:27:22,357
Understand, it's not
about replacing Julie.
372
00:27:22,605 --> 00:27:25,073
I just wanna get back
to the simple life:
373
00:27:25,325 --> 00:27:27,839
Women who mean nothing to me.
374
00:27:29,845 --> 00:27:33,633
So I've struck up a friendship
with a nightclub hostess called Uta.
375
00:27:33,885 --> 00:27:35,318
Hello, Uta.
376
00:27:49,085 --> 00:27:51,315
Now, as a heat-seeking bachelor,
377
00:27:51,565 --> 00:27:53,317
I have to live
by some very simple rules.
378
00:27:53,565 --> 00:27:56,284
Alfie Elkins' credo or philosophy,
379
00:27:56,525 --> 00:27:59,517
which is probably best summed up
by the only advice
380
00:27:59,765 --> 00:28:01,642
my father ever gave me.
381
00:28:01,885 --> 00:28:06,163
He said, "Son, whenever you
meet a beautiful woman...
382
00:28:07,605 --> 00:28:11,439
...just remember, somewhere there's
a bloke who's sick of shagging her."
383
00:28:11,685 --> 00:28:13,835
- Can I help you, man?
- G and T, please.
384
00:28:14,285 --> 00:28:18,324
Explain to me what everyone sees
in that Eurotrash?
385
00:28:35,765 --> 00:28:39,155
I think it's incredibly unfair
that it's acceptable for men
386
00:28:39,405 --> 00:28:41,157
to be sexually experimental,
then with a woman,
387
00:28:41,405 --> 00:28:45,444
if she wants to try something...
A kiss or a threesome.
388
00:28:45,685 --> 00:28:48,279
You know, that they'd be judged.
I wouldn't judge them.
389
00:28:48,525 --> 00:28:51,119
And I think if you two were to kiss,
I would... I would just...
390
00:28:51,325 --> 00:28:55,796
I would just see it
as a thing of beauty.
391
00:28:57,005 --> 00:28:59,678
Although I'm living every guy's
Rat Pack fantasy,
392
00:28:59,925 --> 00:29:02,359
something feels a bit off.
393
00:29:02,605 --> 00:29:04,436
And throwing myself
back into the old lifestyle
394
00:29:04,685 --> 00:29:06,801
isn't going quite as smoothly
as I'd hoped.
395
00:29:07,045 --> 00:29:08,398
Sorry.
396
00:29:08,645 --> 00:29:10,158
I'm sorry.
397
00:29:10,885 --> 00:29:13,001
You carry on without me.
398
00:29:13,605 --> 00:29:16,199
Oh, my loves, l...
399
00:29:16,405 --> 00:29:19,283
I don't know what happened.
This is so unlike me.
400
00:29:20,005 --> 00:29:23,315
Yeah, you... You two just...
401
00:29:30,165 --> 00:29:33,282
I used to think
there was nothing worse than death.
402
00:29:35,845 --> 00:29:38,678
Then, from out of nowhere...
403
00:29:40,765 --> 00:29:41,834
...the unthinkable.
404
00:29:44,205 --> 00:29:47,834
Now I really don't get
what everyone sees in you.
405
00:29:51,365 --> 00:29:54,243
It just keeps on happening
and happening.
406
00:29:54,925 --> 00:29:57,997
Or more accurately, not happening
and not happening.
407
00:30:00,045 --> 00:30:03,321
This never happens, Uta.
Honestly, never.
408
00:30:06,485 --> 00:30:07,918
Honestly.
409
00:30:08,605 --> 00:30:11,039
Not the word around town...
410
00:30:12,565 --> 00:30:14,123
...peewee.
411
00:30:19,005 --> 00:30:22,281
Mr Elkins? Miranda Kulp.
412
00:30:23,645 --> 00:30:25,203
Miranda.
413
00:30:25,445 --> 00:30:27,959
The penis doctor is a he
with a little bit of she thrown in.
414
00:30:28,205 --> 00:30:31,561
So I understand you're experiencing
some erectile dysfunction.
415
00:30:32,085 --> 00:30:36,715
I am experiencing a little... A little...
A little bit of... What you just said.
416
00:30:36,965 --> 00:30:39,195
Not to worry.
That's my area of expertise.
417
00:30:40,005 --> 00:30:44,317
So have you been under any unusual
emotional stress lately, Mr Elkins?
418
00:30:44,565 --> 00:30:48,114
Stress? Emotional? Me? No, never.
419
00:30:49,725 --> 00:30:53,877
Well, unless you count
that recent chat I had with Julie.
420
00:30:54,125 --> 00:30:55,638
I can't see you anymore, Alfie.
421
00:30:57,565 --> 00:30:59,715
- Why? You angry?
- No, I'm really not angry.
422
00:30:59,965 --> 00:31:03,401
Just, you know,
we want different things.
423
00:31:04,445 --> 00:31:07,403
And I can't have you traipsing
in and out of Max's life.
424
00:31:12,205 --> 00:31:14,844
You've changed your hair,
haven't you?
425
00:31:15,085 --> 00:31:16,438
You have, haven't you?
No, you have.
426
00:31:16,685 --> 00:31:18,676
You've changed your hairdo.
You cut it?
427
00:31:18,925 --> 00:31:20,563
It looks gorgeous.
428
00:31:20,805 --> 00:31:22,796
- Thanks.
- How come...?
429
00:31:23,885 --> 00:31:26,763
How come you never had it like that
when we were together?
430
00:31:27,005 --> 00:31:28,597
I really gotta go.
431
00:31:32,485 --> 00:31:33,884
Well, I guess...
432
00:31:34,885 --> 00:31:36,318
...you need these back.
433
00:31:38,965 --> 00:31:40,478
Thank you.
434
00:31:44,685 --> 00:31:46,482
Alfie?
435
00:31:47,125 --> 00:31:48,353
You gonna be okay?
436
00:31:49,365 --> 00:31:52,835
Yeah. No worries. I'm always okay.
437
00:31:57,485 --> 00:32:01,797
Alrighty, let's take a gander
at that penis of yours.
438
00:32:08,765 --> 00:32:10,676
I see.
439
00:32:15,565 --> 00:32:16,918
Well.
440
00:32:17,165 --> 00:32:19,759
- It seems we have lift-off.
- It seems we do.
441
00:32:19,965 --> 00:32:21,557
Wundersch�n.
442
00:32:22,005 --> 00:32:23,404
What a relief.
443
00:32:23,965 --> 00:32:26,559
Well, I mean, if he can give me
a stiffy, I should have no problem
444
00:32:26,765 --> 00:32:29,484
keeping it up for the target
demographic, shouldn't I?
445
00:32:29,725 --> 00:32:32,523
Well, there doesn't appear
to be anything physiologically wrong,
446
00:32:32,765 --> 00:32:35,438
so, in short, we can be
fairly certain your problem
447
00:32:35,685 --> 00:32:39,678
- was simply stress-related.
- Translation: Julie-related.
448
00:32:39,925 --> 00:32:44,077
Like I always say, if they don't get you
one way, they'll get you another.
449
00:32:45,245 --> 00:32:46,837
However,
450
00:32:47,605 --> 00:32:52,838
- I did feel something a little kooky.
- Kooky?
451
00:32:53,085 --> 00:32:56,043
There is nothing to get upset about,
Mr Elkins.
452
00:32:56,845 --> 00:33:00,315
I thought I felt a lump...
453
00:33:01,845 --> 00:33:03,642
...on your penis.
454
00:33:03,885 --> 00:33:06,399
But with any luck, it will be nothing.
455
00:33:08,125 --> 00:33:11,481
The words "lump" and "penis"
in the same sentence.
456
00:33:11,725 --> 00:33:14,000
There's something
you don't hear every day.
457
00:33:15,085 --> 00:33:19,078
And so young Alfred
got an early Yuletide gift.
458
00:33:20,725 --> 00:33:22,920
A penis biopsy.
459
00:33:23,165 --> 00:33:26,077
I get my test results in three days...
Well, five.
460
00:33:26,325 --> 00:33:29,795
Five counting the weekend.
Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord.
461
00:33:30,045 --> 00:33:32,639
How am I gonna stop myself
going completely bonkers?
462
00:33:32,845 --> 00:33:33,880
I'll be fine.
463
00:33:34,605 --> 00:33:36,516
I'll be fine.
464
00:33:36,765 --> 00:33:38,676
I'm a young man.
465
00:33:40,325 --> 00:33:42,998
Shift focus, Alfie. Shift...
466
00:33:43,245 --> 00:33:45,440
Let's go, kids. Let's go.
467
00:33:52,565 --> 00:33:54,920
Move along, children.
Look straight ahead.
468
00:33:55,605 --> 00:33:58,119
Come on. Do not look at the man.
Look straight ahead.
469
00:33:58,365 --> 00:34:01,801
In the meantime, perhaps I'm safer
hobbling on home.
470
00:34:17,645 --> 00:34:20,717
Alfie, dear, what's wrong?
You look like death warmed over.
471
00:34:20,965 --> 00:34:23,479
No, I've just... I've got a bit of
a football injury, that's all,
472
00:34:23,725 --> 00:34:25,443
Mrs Schnitman...
Hello, Mrs Liberman.
473
00:34:25,685 --> 00:34:27,118
You two look lovely.
Where you going?
474
00:34:27,365 --> 00:34:29,879
- Shopping. You need anything?
- I'm fine.
475
00:34:32,485 --> 00:34:33,474
Hello.
476
00:34:34,165 --> 00:34:36,042
Can I talk to you for a minute?
477
00:34:36,725 --> 00:34:38,204
Ladies, this is my friend Lonette.
478
00:34:38,445 --> 00:34:42,677
She's lovely. Good for you,
dating an African-American.
479
00:34:42,925 --> 00:34:44,358
Yeah.
480
00:34:45,525 --> 00:34:49,518
Hey. Hey, girl. I missed you.
481
00:34:49,765 --> 00:34:53,280
Don't mind us. We're not here.
You kids keep talking.
482
00:34:53,525 --> 00:34:55,959
- Very nice to meet you.
- See you, Mrs Liberman.
483
00:34:56,205 --> 00:34:57,718
Shop till you drop, girls.
484
00:35:00,565 --> 00:35:02,157
So how have you been?
485
00:35:04,085 --> 00:35:05,916
I'm pregnant.
486
00:35:07,645 --> 00:35:09,237
It seems to me
487
00:35:09,445 --> 00:35:13,233
the problems you worry yourself
sick about never seem to materialize.
488
00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:15,515
It's the ones that catch you
unexpectedly
489
00:35:15,725 --> 00:35:19,081
on a Wednesday afternoon
that knock you sideways.
490
00:35:21,165 --> 00:35:23,633
I offered to face the music
with her...
491
00:35:23,845 --> 00:35:26,279
... but she wanted to go it alone.
492
00:35:43,045 --> 00:35:46,924
We both knew that if the baby
was born with any white-boy features
493
00:35:47,125 --> 00:35:49,719
it would mean the end
of Lonette and Marlon.
494
00:35:50,285 --> 00:35:53,243
Not to mention your host
for this evening.
495
00:35:54,445 --> 00:35:59,314
But standing in the cold,
I find myself having regrets.
496
00:35:59,525 --> 00:36:01,163
Thinking thoughts like,
497
00:36:01,365 --> 00:36:04,801
"Here's another kid you'll never
get a chance to know.
498
00:36:05,005 --> 00:36:06,961
Your own. "
499
00:36:24,045 --> 00:36:25,524
Didn't take long.
500
00:36:33,925 --> 00:36:36,280
Bloody hell, you're freezing.
501
00:36:38,765 --> 00:36:39,959
How do you feel?
502
00:36:40,885 --> 00:36:42,603
Empty.
503
00:36:55,805 --> 00:36:59,764
That night in the bar, I thought
I was getting something for nothing.
504
00:37:00,645 --> 00:37:03,796
Doesn't seem to have worked out
that way, does it?
505
00:37:16,885 --> 00:37:17,840
Oh, man.
506
00:37:18,485 --> 00:37:21,716
If everything turns out okay,
maybe this little brush with mortality
507
00:37:21,925 --> 00:37:23,074
is a sign.
508
00:37:23,765 --> 00:37:28,236
I should think about making...
Making some changes.
509
00:37:28,485 --> 00:37:29,679
Possibly.
510
00:37:30,685 --> 00:37:31,754
- Next week.
- Excuse me.
511
00:37:31,965 --> 00:37:34,843
Did I just...? Did you just look at me?
Did I just notice you turn away?
512
00:37:35,045 --> 00:37:38,355
Look, if you know the results
to my tests, and they're telling you...
513
00:37:38,565 --> 00:37:40,157
- Mr Elkins.
- Please. Please.
514
00:37:40,365 --> 00:37:44,643
Mr Elkins, for the millionth time,
sit down.
515
00:37:45,565 --> 00:37:50,480
Mr Belson, I have a cancellation
on Tuesday at 11:30.
516
00:37:50,685 --> 00:37:52,641
I'm gonna be fine.
517
00:37:53,805 --> 00:37:56,000
- I just feel it.
- Thank you. Goodbye.
518
00:38:04,445 --> 00:38:07,357
I'll just be a minute. Or ten.
519
00:38:08,485 --> 00:38:10,794
- It's all right. Take your time.
- I don't have a choice.
520
00:38:11,005 --> 00:38:13,963
I used to pee. Now I trickle.
521
00:38:14,165 --> 00:38:16,918
- I'm Joe. What's your name?
- Alfie.
522
00:38:17,685 --> 00:38:20,199
So how you doing, Alfie?
523
00:38:20,405 --> 00:38:24,159
- Hanging in. You?
- Shitty.
524
00:38:25,525 --> 00:38:27,959
Yeah, me too. Me too.
525
00:38:28,885 --> 00:38:32,764
- I like the bolo tie.
- Oh, thanks. I have a collection.
526
00:38:35,365 --> 00:38:37,959
You know, when you're old,
you learn to be patient.
527
00:38:38,525 --> 00:38:39,480
Yeah.
528
00:38:39,685 --> 00:38:42,119
Used to be I never
had time for nothing. Go, go, go.
529
00:38:42,325 --> 00:38:44,236
- I know that feeling.
- Yeah.
530
00:38:44,445 --> 00:38:48,996
My wife was always hawking me
to take a little vacation. Hawaii. Reno.
531
00:38:49,205 --> 00:38:51,321
I always said,
"Next year, Evie, next year.
532
00:38:51,525 --> 00:38:53,595
I got too much on my platter."
533
00:38:54,205 --> 00:38:56,514
I always thought
I'd have more time.
534
00:38:56,725 --> 00:39:00,274
Then one Sunday night,
she takes the pot roast out of the oven.
535
00:39:00,485 --> 00:39:04,319
Yells, "Soup's on,"
and slumps to the kitchen floor.
536
00:39:04,525 --> 00:39:06,243
Just like that.
537
00:39:06,445 --> 00:39:08,276
Dead as disco.
538
00:39:08,485 --> 00:39:10,715
Jesus, I'm sorry.
539
00:39:10,925 --> 00:39:13,314
I tried picking up the pieces.
540
00:39:13,525 --> 00:39:15,959
Even went to Waikiki alone
on the 8-day cruise package
541
00:39:16,165 --> 00:39:18,121
she was always yakking about.
542
00:39:18,685 --> 00:39:21,119
Couldn't get Evie out of my mind.
543
00:39:24,805 --> 00:39:27,319
There's two things
I learned in life, kid:
544
00:39:27,525 --> 00:39:29,163
You find someone to love,
545
00:39:29,405 --> 00:39:31,839
and live every day
as though it were your last.
546
00:39:35,885 --> 00:39:37,603
She's all yours, Alfie.
547
00:39:37,805 --> 00:39:39,284
Enjoy.
548
00:39:47,045 --> 00:39:48,763
You all right, son?
549
00:39:48,965 --> 00:39:52,082
Yeah. I hope so.
550
00:39:54,965 --> 00:39:58,435
Look, if you ever get bored
or feel like schmoozing...
551
00:39:59,725 --> 00:40:01,875
...give me a holler.
552
00:40:03,885 --> 00:40:06,035
- You'll never call.
- Maybe I will.
553
00:40:06,285 --> 00:40:08,753
All right, good. We'll go to a bar
together, hit on some chicks.
554
00:40:08,965 --> 00:40:10,318
Damn right.
555
00:40:10,525 --> 00:40:12,117
Thanks, Joe.
556
00:40:14,965 --> 00:40:16,717
Hey.
557
00:40:18,245 --> 00:40:20,076
I'm sorry about Evie.
558
00:40:22,965 --> 00:40:24,637
We...
559
00:40:24,845 --> 00:40:27,313
...weren't all that fond
of each other...
560
00:40:27,525 --> 00:40:31,279
...but we were very close.
561
00:40:32,325 --> 00:40:35,954
- If you know what I mean.
- I think I do.
562
00:41:01,885 --> 00:41:05,275
I've been thinking a lot lately
about God and death.
563
00:41:05,485 --> 00:41:08,283
And how, if what they taught me
in Bible class is true,
564
00:41:08,485 --> 00:41:10,316
I'm really in for it.
565
00:41:13,285 --> 00:41:16,004
But I won't be partying
with Lucifer any time soon,
566
00:41:16,205 --> 00:41:18,082
because my test results
were negative.
567
00:41:18,285 --> 00:41:20,753
I'm gonna live! I'm gonna live!
568
00:41:26,765 --> 00:41:29,518
I ruined my Prada lace-ups
and I don't care.
569
00:41:32,965 --> 00:41:37,004
Don't think I've forgotten my oath
to completely change my life,
570
00:41:37,205 --> 00:41:38,957
because I haven't.
571
00:42:07,125 --> 00:42:10,003
Carrot-apple with a dash
of wheat grass.
572
00:42:10,205 --> 00:42:11,479
Yep.
573
00:42:12,285 --> 00:42:15,243
Health is now priority number one.
574
00:42:16,725 --> 00:42:19,876
Business plan
moves onto the fast track.
575
00:42:21,365 --> 00:42:24,960
- If you say so...
- Tonight's preview at St. Ambrose...
576
00:42:26,565 --> 00:42:30,877
No, I definitely don't want to talk.
Okay, hold on, what else have I got?
577
00:42:32,245 --> 00:42:35,203
Okay, yeah.
578
00:42:36,085 --> 00:42:37,882
All right, if we must, we must, but...
579
00:42:39,605 --> 00:42:42,517
New slate. New beginning.
580
00:43:02,765 --> 00:43:04,403
- What's your name, driver?
- Alfie, sir.
581
00:43:04,605 --> 00:43:05,560
Wait here, Alfie.
582
00:43:05,805 --> 00:43:07,875
Do you know how long
you're gonna be, roughly?
583
00:43:08,085 --> 00:43:10,679
- You got someplace to go?
- No, I was just gonna nip off
584
00:43:10,845 --> 00:43:13,439
- and get a cup of tea.
- Look, why don't you just stay put.
585
00:43:39,965 --> 00:43:42,001
Yea or nay?
586
00:43:43,485 --> 00:43:47,034
A definite yea, I think. Really.
587
00:43:47,245 --> 00:43:49,395
Stunning.
Wouldn't you say so, sir?
588
00:43:49,645 --> 00:43:52,034
I'm sorry, didn't I ask you
to wait by the car?
589
00:43:52,285 --> 00:43:54,924
I reckoned I should help
the lady with her packages.
590
00:43:55,165 --> 00:43:56,723
Definite yea?
591
00:43:58,645 --> 00:44:00,317
I think.
592
00:44:00,525 --> 00:44:03,437
With one minor...
593
00:44:03,645 --> 00:44:04,964
- May I?
- You may.
594
00:44:05,165 --> 00:44:06,644
Adjustment.
595
00:44:14,045 --> 00:44:17,799
Bullfighter. Another lifetime.
Don't ask.
596
00:44:21,205 --> 00:44:22,684
Fifty, if she's a day.
597
00:44:22,885 --> 00:44:24,318
But don't they say 50
is the new 40,
598
00:44:24,525 --> 00:44:26,720
and is she not living proof?
599
00:44:26,925 --> 00:44:29,678
I mean, have a look.
Beautifully preserved.
600
00:44:30,925 --> 00:44:33,439
And cleavage
like the Holland Tunnel.
601
00:44:34,965 --> 00:44:36,683
- Better?
- Much.
602
00:44:36,925 --> 00:44:40,554
You are so right to trust Chanel.
A pair of hot-pink stilettos,
603
00:44:40,765 --> 00:44:42,642
and you're good to go.
604
00:44:43,725 --> 00:44:46,683
- Well, aren't you Mr Full-Service?
- We try.
605
00:44:49,445 --> 00:44:52,517
- He's getting a little pissy, isn't he?
- Oh, it's fine. It's good for him.
606
00:44:52,725 --> 00:44:56,081
- Is your husband a lot older than you?
- He's not my husband.
607
00:44:57,205 --> 00:44:58,923
He's wearing a wedding ring.
608
00:44:59,125 --> 00:45:02,276
Well, I never said he wasn't
somebody else's husband.
609
00:45:13,405 --> 00:45:14,963
- Grab the stuff from the trunk?
- You got it.
610
00:45:15,165 --> 00:45:16,518
Cheers.
611
00:45:22,645 --> 00:45:26,001
Ma'am, if you require
my services in the future.
612
00:45:27,525 --> 00:45:30,756
Happy Christmas, sir. Ma'am.
613
00:45:32,685 --> 00:45:36,598
Now that, my friends,
is a real woman.
614
00:45:36,805 --> 00:45:39,399
Smart and sexy and...
615
00:45:39,805 --> 00:45:43,593
You noticed the little flirt
going on between us, huh?
616
00:45:47,485 --> 00:45:49,077
Makes me think,
617
00:45:49,285 --> 00:45:51,924
if a woman like that,
of that calibre
618
00:45:52,125 --> 00:45:53,524
should take notice
of a bloke like me,
619
00:45:53,725 --> 00:45:56,762
then, perhaps...
620
00:45:58,125 --> 00:46:01,754
Perhaps I'm selling myself
a bit short.
621
00:46:02,325 --> 00:46:03,997
In a flash,
622
00:46:04,205 --> 00:46:06,799
I have my New Year's resolution.
623
00:46:07,725 --> 00:46:09,477
Aim higher.
624
00:46:20,165 --> 00:46:23,396
Catastrophic. Doomed.
625
00:46:23,605 --> 00:46:26,642
Desolate. Cataclysmic.
626
00:46:26,845 --> 00:46:28,995
Bought him a word-of-the-day
calendar for Christmas.
627
00:46:29,765 --> 00:46:30,914
Big mistake.
628
00:46:31,125 --> 00:46:33,241
Holiday season,
busiest time of the year.
629
00:46:33,445 --> 00:46:34,719
I try to run a business.
630
00:46:34,925 --> 00:46:37,962
- What's the problem, Mr Wing?
- Your soul brother.
631
00:46:38,165 --> 00:46:40,156
He quit.
632
00:46:45,365 --> 00:46:48,675
In the letter Marlon left me,
he called me his best friend...
633
00:46:49,485 --> 00:46:52,716
... but apologized for bailing
on our business scheme.
634
00:46:52,925 --> 00:46:55,962
He said his whole thing now
was to make Lonette happy.
635
00:46:56,605 --> 00:46:58,243
They decided,
on the spur of the moment,
636
00:46:58,445 --> 00:47:00,401
to move upstate,
637
00:47:00,645 --> 00:47:03,398
and I had a standing
invite to drop by any time.
638
00:47:04,525 --> 00:47:07,358
Somehow Lonette
convinced Marlon
639
00:47:07,565 --> 00:47:10,443
it would be too painful
to say our goodbyes in person.
640
00:47:10,645 --> 00:47:12,442
And to make matters worse,
641
00:47:12,645 --> 00:47:16,160
it all dovetails into
the second loneliest night of the year:
642
00:47:19,085 --> 00:47:21,235
Christmas Eve.
643
00:47:23,085 --> 00:47:26,714
A night that brings on all those
familiar festive feelings
644
00:47:26,925 --> 00:47:32,158
of hopelessness,
anguish, despair.
645
00:47:32,765 --> 00:47:35,837
Not a great time to be flying solo.
646
00:47:36,445 --> 00:47:40,074
That's why I'm of the belief
couples should never split up
647
00:47:40,285 --> 00:47:42,435
between Thanksgiving
and January 2nd.
648
00:47:43,005 --> 00:47:46,759
Always have a relationship to see
you through the holidays. Always.
649
00:47:46,965 --> 00:47:49,718
The downside, of course, being gifts.
650
00:47:54,125 --> 00:47:57,117
Personally, I've always
suspected that everyone else
651
00:47:57,325 --> 00:48:00,078
is having a far merrier
Christmas than I am.
652
00:48:00,285 --> 00:48:03,641
Not that I've ever actually
had a Christmas.
653
00:48:04,525 --> 00:48:06,004
That's a whole other Dickens story.
654
00:48:06,205 --> 00:48:07,399
Taxi.
655
00:48:07,645 --> 00:48:09,124
Taxi.
656
00:48:09,725 --> 00:48:11,681
Excuse me.
657
00:48:13,205 --> 00:48:17,198
I'm sorry, mate, it's against the law
for me to carry any more than...
658
00:48:24,445 --> 00:48:26,800
Thank the Lord.
659
00:48:27,965 --> 00:48:30,320
A Christmas miracle.
660
00:48:34,245 --> 00:48:36,361
All right, hop in.
661
00:48:36,565 --> 00:48:39,682
Thanks for saving us.
I was freezing my little tush off.
662
00:48:39,925 --> 00:48:42,837
No worries. You know,
it's pretty full back there.
663
00:48:43,085 --> 00:48:45,838
- Why don't you...
- Good idea.
664
00:48:46,045 --> 00:48:47,239
Why don't I?
665
00:48:49,285 --> 00:48:51,241
Hey, watch the champagne.
666
00:48:55,125 --> 00:48:56,763
All in.
667
00:49:06,245 --> 00:49:09,999
- They don't get out much.
- You wanna watch out, you guys.
668
00:49:10,205 --> 00:49:13,436
You'll end up with a lump of coal
in your stocking.
669
00:49:13,645 --> 00:49:15,158
You're English.
670
00:49:15,365 --> 00:49:17,196
I love English.
671
00:49:17,445 --> 00:49:19,481
- What's your name?
- Alfie.
672
00:49:27,445 --> 00:49:30,039
You wanna abuse
a little substance, Alfie?
673
00:49:30,285 --> 00:49:31,877
No, thanks. I'm trying to quit.
674
00:49:33,245 --> 00:49:35,998
All right. One hit.
675
00:49:50,685 --> 00:49:52,038
Merry Christmastime
676
00:50:05,605 --> 00:50:09,359
There's an expression
the Yanks use, "Go with the flow."
677
00:50:11,285 --> 00:50:13,594
So, yeah, I got a dose
of the holiday blues.
678
00:50:13,805 --> 00:50:18,833
But when a girl of this mind-blowing
calibre invites you to a party,
679
00:50:19,045 --> 00:50:22,594
it's time to get going
and start flowing.
680
00:50:25,405 --> 00:50:26,724
Maybe it's the late hour.
681
00:50:29,965 --> 00:50:32,684
Maybe it's the heavily
spiked eggnog.
682
00:50:35,845 --> 00:50:38,313
Maybe it was simply
a mutual desperate desire
683
00:50:38,525 --> 00:50:41,358
to have ourselves
a merry little Christmas.
684
00:50:41,965 --> 00:50:45,594
Whatever the reason, hooking up
has never gone more swimmingly,
685
00:50:45,805 --> 00:50:50,799
and I find myself saying
something highly out of character:
686
00:50:51,005 --> 00:50:55,078
I'm renovating my apartment
on the Upper West Side.
687
00:50:56,405 --> 00:50:58,714
But, say, you could...
688
00:50:58,925 --> 00:51:03,521
...crash at my sublet,
if you want.
689
00:51:04,445 --> 00:51:07,198
See you through the holidays.
690
00:51:07,805 --> 00:51:09,955
That sounds inviting.
691
00:51:16,805 --> 00:51:20,718
And so it came to pass,
that after all those years,
692
00:51:20,925 --> 00:51:25,282
little Alfred finally got
what he wanted for Christmas.
693
00:51:36,725 --> 00:51:39,398
The 12 days of Christmas
were flying by
694
00:51:39,605 --> 00:51:41,721
at a surrealistic pace.
695
00:51:43,285 --> 00:51:46,083
Yeah, it's been quite the ride.
696
00:51:50,125 --> 00:51:52,719
The package was irresistible.
697
00:51:53,005 --> 00:51:57,396
A showstopper with
a new-school brand of sexiness.
698
00:51:58,325 --> 00:52:01,044
Who wouldn't get off on the way
she makes heads turn?
699
00:52:02,165 --> 00:52:04,315
Plus, we have so much in common.
700
00:52:06,485 --> 00:52:10,319
- She's sweet, fun, original, exciting,
- Adore you.
701
00:52:10,525 --> 00:52:12,243
Full of surprises.
702
00:52:12,485 --> 00:52:16,637
Oh, and did I mention,
she makes a cracking good bed.
703
00:52:19,085 --> 00:52:20,996
I began to wonder,
704
00:52:21,205 --> 00:52:22,718
could this be the one...
705
00:52:25,285 --> 00:52:27,879
... who finally holds my attention?
706
00:52:29,325 --> 00:52:31,361
Happy New Year!
707
00:52:44,445 --> 00:52:46,197
In every doomed relationship,
708
00:52:46,445 --> 00:52:48,640
there comes what I like to call
709
00:52:48,845 --> 00:52:52,554
"the uh-oh moment."
710
00:52:52,805 --> 00:52:54,284
When a certain little
something happens,
711
00:52:54,485 --> 00:52:57,238
and you know you've just witnessed
the beginning of the end.
712
00:52:58,045 --> 00:53:00,513
And suddenly you stop
and you think:
713
00:53:00,725 --> 00:53:04,479
"Uh-oh, iceberg ahead."
714
00:53:06,445 --> 00:53:09,243
With Nikki, that was
the first of many...
715
00:53:09,885 --> 00:53:11,955
... uh-oh moments.
716
00:53:12,525 --> 00:53:15,119
It began with petty arguments.
717
00:53:16,885 --> 00:53:20,639
Followed by random bouts
of melancholia.
718
00:53:21,285 --> 00:53:24,994
Major highs and manic lows.
719
00:53:25,605 --> 00:53:28,563
This girl never knows
when she's had one too many.
720
00:53:29,125 --> 00:53:33,880
And there had been constant displays
of erratic, reckless behaviour.
721
00:53:34,085 --> 00:53:37,839
And thank you, no.
No, I did not have insurance.
722
00:53:39,645 --> 00:53:44,321
But whenever I begin to feel
there's little reason to go on,
723
00:53:44,845 --> 00:53:49,316
I'm reminded that we still have
one very major thing in common.
724
00:53:50,165 --> 00:53:53,475
If only she didn't insist
on smoking before,
725
00:53:53,725 --> 00:53:55,636
after
726
00:53:56,325 --> 00:53:58,281
and during.
727
00:54:01,645 --> 00:54:04,000
What time are you gonna
be home, honey?
728
00:54:04,205 --> 00:54:05,604
Hear that?
729
00:54:05,805 --> 00:54:07,875
"What time are you gonna
be home, honey?"
730
00:54:08,445 --> 00:54:10,675
That's dangerously close
to wife-speak to me.
731
00:54:10,925 --> 00:54:13,837
Because I'm making something
really special for din-din.
732
00:54:14,525 --> 00:54:15,844
Din-din?
733
00:54:16,085 --> 00:54:17,404
I'll call later.
734
00:54:18,485 --> 00:54:23,275
Listen, are you sure you don't
think that colour's a little bit intense?
735
00:54:23,525 --> 00:54:27,723
- I think you're a little bit intense.
- Careful,
736
00:54:27,965 --> 00:54:30,195
because you've got paint
all over your hands.
737
00:54:31,925 --> 00:54:35,713
Plus, you're wearing my favourite shirt
to paint the house in, Nik. Don't...
738
00:54:39,365 --> 00:54:41,515
Sorry, baby.
739
00:54:44,245 --> 00:54:45,837
I gotta run.
740
00:54:46,085 --> 00:54:47,154
No, I've gotta run.
741
00:54:47,365 --> 00:54:51,324
I bet that I can make it
worth your while to stay.
742
00:54:52,445 --> 00:54:55,118
I'm sure you can. But you know what?
I've got that meeting.
743
00:54:55,685 --> 00:54:58,040
- Haven't I?
- Yeah.
744
00:55:05,445 --> 00:55:09,199
You know you're in trouble when
a sight like that can't keep you planted.
745
00:55:10,525 --> 00:55:13,722
When I was a boy
at St. Alban's Secondary School,
746
00:55:13,925 --> 00:55:16,359
the school took us
on this cultural trip
747
00:55:16,565 --> 00:55:18,476
to observe art at one of the...
748
00:55:18,845 --> 00:55:20,642
One of those big famous
London museums.
749
00:55:21,645 --> 00:55:22,760
Anyway, when I was there,
750
00:55:22,965 --> 00:55:26,321
I came across this statue
of a Greek goddess in marble.
751
00:55:26,525 --> 00:55:30,040
Aphrodi... Aphrodite,
something like that.
752
00:55:30,245 --> 00:55:32,600
Beautiful, she was.
753
00:55:33,525 --> 00:55:36,562
Perfect female form.
754
00:55:36,765 --> 00:55:38,517
Chiselled features.
755
00:55:38,725 --> 00:55:40,477
Exquisite.
756
00:55:41,725 --> 00:55:43,602
I stood in awe of her.
757
00:55:44,125 --> 00:55:46,844
Finally, the teacher calls us
all over, and I'm walking past it,
758
00:55:47,045 --> 00:55:51,118
and on the way I notice,
in the side of this Greek goddess,
759
00:55:51,325 --> 00:55:55,318
all these cracks,
chips, imperfections.
760
00:55:55,965 --> 00:55:57,523
Ruined her for me.
761
00:56:00,325 --> 00:56:02,156
Well, that's Nikki.
762
00:56:03,645 --> 00:56:06,159
A beautiful sculpture...
763
00:56:06,365 --> 00:56:07,957
...damaged...
764
00:56:08,165 --> 00:56:11,316
...in a way you don't notice
till you get too close.
765
00:56:20,925 --> 00:56:23,041
I lost the signal for a second there.
766
00:56:25,125 --> 00:56:26,683
But I don't know.
767
00:56:26,885 --> 00:56:29,353
It's just a lot of personal stuff
going on.
768
00:56:29,565 --> 00:56:30,918
You know what I mean?
769
00:56:35,645 --> 00:56:37,397
- Oh, I know.
- Welcome, Mr Alfie.
770
00:56:37,605 --> 00:56:40,199
Good to see you, Elvis. Look, I hope
you don't mind me rambling on.
771
00:56:40,365 --> 00:56:42,720
- Enjoy your evening, sir.
- Thank you.
772
00:56:45,445 --> 00:56:49,438
As you can see, the lad's
moving up in the world.
773
00:56:53,005 --> 00:56:55,758
It's just that I've got
this friend who's,
774
00:56:55,965 --> 00:56:59,514
let's say, outstayed his welcome.
775
00:57:02,605 --> 00:57:03,720
Absolutely right.
776
00:57:03,925 --> 00:57:07,679
It's a lot tougher getting them out
than getting them in. I like that.
777
00:57:07,885 --> 00:57:10,240
You'll never guess
who I'm dropping in on now.
778
00:57:10,445 --> 00:57:12,436
I wouldn't have believed it myself
a couple of weeks ago.
779
00:57:12,645 --> 00:57:14,601
Why don't you just try being honest,
780
00:57:14,805 --> 00:57:18,195
and tell your friend that the hotel
is under new management
781
00:57:18,405 --> 00:57:22,193
and that they have to vacate
the premises. You know what I mean.
782
00:57:22,405 --> 00:57:24,236
That kimono
783
00:57:24,445 --> 00:57:27,357
does wonders for your d�colletage.
784
00:57:28,325 --> 00:57:31,442
- Big word.
- Big d�colletage.
785
00:57:42,005 --> 00:57:44,803
Why don't we have a drink and you
can tell me the rest of your troubles.
786
00:57:45,005 --> 00:57:48,918
Instead of me listening to hers.
That's a change.
787
00:57:49,125 --> 00:57:52,879
You know, for someone
so very young, you're terribly wise.
788
00:57:54,805 --> 00:57:56,557
Secret admirer?
789
00:57:57,445 --> 00:57:59,595
One of many.
790
00:58:00,605 --> 00:58:03,403
You would never think of bringing
a girl flowers, would you, Alfie?
791
00:58:03,605 --> 00:58:05,641
It would only encourage them.
792
00:58:05,845 --> 00:58:07,642
I'm gonna make us that drink.
793
00:58:07,885 --> 00:58:09,318
What's your poison, sweetheart?
794
00:58:09,525 --> 00:58:13,404
I'll have a spot of whiskey, please.
Midleton Rare, if you've got it.
795
00:58:13,605 --> 00:58:15,641
I like dropping a fancy brand name
in now and again,
796
00:58:15,845 --> 00:58:17,437
let her know she ain't
the only one been around.
797
00:58:17,685 --> 00:58:21,678
Why not make this
an absinthe afternoon?
798
00:58:21,885 --> 00:58:23,557
Brilliant.
799
00:58:24,685 --> 00:58:28,200
- No idea what she's talking about.
- You've had absinthe?
800
00:58:28,445 --> 00:58:31,118
Not recently, no.
Remind me, what is it again?
801
00:58:31,325 --> 00:58:35,762
The Green Fairy. The French
impressionists' liquid drug of choice.
802
00:58:36,565 --> 00:58:40,683
And I got you some of those
little egg thingies you like so much.
803
00:58:48,165 --> 00:58:50,884
I mention I like something once,
next thing I know,
804
00:58:51,085 --> 00:58:52,723
I get it on a silver platter.
805
00:59:04,805 --> 00:59:06,602
Perfect, huh?
806
00:59:06,805 --> 00:59:09,080
Kind of pad I plan
to earn myself one day.
807
00:59:09,285 --> 00:59:12,834
Understated elegance
with just a touch of the trendy.
808
00:59:14,445 --> 00:59:16,675
She's a regular fashionista.
809
00:59:17,125 --> 00:59:20,322
You don't have to tell this one
which slingbacks go with which frock.
810
00:59:21,005 --> 00:59:22,961
Owns her own cosmetics company.
811
00:59:23,165 --> 00:59:25,520
Empire, actually.
812
00:59:25,725 --> 00:59:27,795
Started out doing facials
in a fancy salon.
813
00:59:28,005 --> 00:59:30,997
Took a handful of mud,
mixed it with a dash of papaya,
814
00:59:31,205 --> 00:59:34,515
put it on the market,
and bingo: All this.
815
00:59:34,725 --> 00:59:37,637
This stuff is so illegal.
816
00:59:38,485 --> 00:59:41,363
I smuggled a whole batch
of it back from Prague
817
00:59:41,605 --> 00:59:44,199
in Listerine bottles.
818
00:59:49,045 --> 00:59:51,798
Oh, I checked out
your business plan.
819
00:59:55,285 --> 00:59:58,004
- And?
- I'm impressed.
820
00:59:58,605 --> 01:00:00,516
- You seem surprised.
- Not at all.
821
01:00:00,765 --> 01:00:02,915
Because underneath
all that bravado
822
01:00:03,125 --> 01:00:05,719
beats the heart of a guy who's a lot
smarter than he thinks he is,
823
01:00:05,885 --> 01:00:10,515
but not nearly as cocky as he'd like
everybody else to believe.
824
01:00:15,925 --> 01:00:21,795
What are we...?
What exactly are we basing this on?
825
01:00:22,005 --> 01:00:25,520
This insight into my personality?
826
01:00:30,645 --> 01:00:33,603
That it takes one to know one.
827
01:00:49,965 --> 01:00:51,683
What?
828
01:00:52,765 --> 01:00:55,563
I was just wondering if there's
a clever little tattoo artist out there
829
01:00:55,765 --> 01:00:59,963
who could change "Pablo" into "Alfie."
830
01:01:05,605 --> 01:01:08,073
Here's to clever little tattoo artists.
831
01:01:19,365 --> 01:01:21,037
Jesus.
832
01:01:25,605 --> 01:01:28,597
It made me feel
all warm going down.
833
01:01:28,805 --> 01:01:30,955
That's my job.
834
01:01:39,285 --> 01:01:41,401
You know what they say.
835
01:01:43,085 --> 01:01:45,041
What do they say?
836
01:01:47,685 --> 01:01:51,041
Absinthe makes
the heart grow fonder.
837
01:01:55,965 --> 01:01:57,842
Oh, great.
838
01:02:03,885 --> 01:02:05,398
Check this out.
839
01:02:10,125 --> 01:02:12,320
Have a look at the size of this tub.
840
01:02:12,525 --> 01:02:14,755
She's had two husbands,
both croaked,
841
01:02:14,965 --> 01:02:17,718
and I have a feeling
this was the scene of the crime.
842
01:02:18,325 --> 01:02:20,634
Come on, baby, let's get wet.
843
01:02:28,005 --> 01:02:29,324
If she keeps this up,
844
01:02:29,525 --> 01:02:33,564
we're gonna be updating that tattoo
of hers a lot sooner than she thinks.
845
01:02:43,445 --> 01:02:47,597
Remember how little Alfred finally got
what he wanted for Christmas?
846
01:02:49,845 --> 01:02:52,598
Be careful what you wish for.
847
01:03:03,365 --> 01:03:05,435
There's something else.
848
01:03:16,925 --> 01:03:18,199
Dozed off?
849
01:03:20,325 --> 01:03:22,520
Yeah.
850
01:03:23,605 --> 01:03:25,960
I tried waiting up for you.
851
01:03:27,925 --> 01:03:31,713
- Your meeting ran late, huh?
- Very. I'm knackered.
852
01:03:31,925 --> 01:03:33,802
And wet.
853
01:03:34,885 --> 01:03:37,115
But...
854
01:03:37,325 --> 01:03:41,716
...I do want us to have
a little chat, Nikki.
855
01:03:43,965 --> 01:03:45,876
Okay.
856
01:03:46,085 --> 01:03:48,280
Sure.
857
01:03:48,485 --> 01:03:50,840
Why don't we talk over
a midnight snack.
858
01:03:51,045 --> 01:03:54,560
I made roast beef
and Yorkshire pudding.
859
01:03:55,125 --> 01:03:57,844
That was your favourite
as a young lad, right?
860
01:03:59,005 --> 01:04:01,758
And check the place out,
if you please.
861
01:04:02,685 --> 01:04:07,201
- Your little girl worked her fanny off.
- I noticed. It looks brilliant.
862
01:04:08,165 --> 01:04:09,917
Really smashing.
863
01:04:10,805 --> 01:04:13,717
- So, Nik...
- Alfie, I've been thinking.
864
01:04:14,885 --> 01:04:17,957
Will you look at these
cute little potatoes?
865
01:04:21,765 --> 01:04:26,122
Okay. I know I have been
a real handful lately.
866
01:04:27,285 --> 01:04:30,721
I don't know, I think it has to do a lot
with me feeling displaced...
867
01:04:32,605 --> 01:04:35,324
...and not totally trusting.
868
01:04:36,925 --> 01:04:39,439
Sweetie, cutting to the chase.
869
01:04:39,645 --> 01:04:42,842
I am gonna do better.
870
01:04:43,885 --> 01:04:45,000
I promise.
871
01:04:45,685 --> 01:04:49,200
I am gonna take my medication
religiously from now on.
872
01:04:49,405 --> 01:04:53,398
And everything, everything
is gonna be easy and breezy.
873
01:04:53,645 --> 01:04:55,681
Sound good? Honey?
874
01:04:56,085 --> 01:04:58,918
So come, come and sit.
A feast awaits.
875
01:04:59,965 --> 01:05:01,762
I already ate, Nik.
876
01:05:03,045 --> 01:05:04,160
Of course.
877
01:05:04,365 --> 01:05:06,435
No worries, we'll have leftovers.
878
01:05:06,645 --> 01:05:11,002
I can whip up a little
corned beef hash for brunch.
879
01:05:18,005 --> 01:05:20,314
What's the matter, Alfie?
880
01:05:20,565 --> 01:05:22,681
Nothing. I just...
881
01:05:24,645 --> 01:05:26,795
I've got a lot on my mind and...
882
01:05:27,725 --> 01:05:29,875
...I'm feeling a bit...
- What?
883
01:05:31,325 --> 01:05:35,079
Cold? Distant? Remote? What?
884
01:05:36,045 --> 01:05:38,639
Oh, Nik, this is a complete drag.
885
01:05:39,485 --> 01:05:42,841
Everything happened so quickly.
886
01:05:44,205 --> 01:05:47,163
- I'm not the best at this sort of thing.
- What sort of thing?
887
01:05:49,365 --> 01:05:50,684
I...
888
01:05:51,165 --> 01:05:53,804
...don't know exactly how to say it.
889
01:05:54,725 --> 01:05:56,522
Sure you do, Alfie.
890
01:05:59,165 --> 01:06:02,874
You've had plenty
of experience dumping girls.
891
01:06:19,205 --> 01:06:20,957
Don't worry.
892
01:06:21,805 --> 01:06:24,603
I'm already gone.
893
01:07:20,045 --> 01:07:22,036
Strange.
894
01:07:22,245 --> 01:07:24,759
But even when you know
it has to end...
895
01:07:25,565 --> 01:07:27,635
... when it finally does...
896
01:07:28,525 --> 01:07:31,597
... you always get
that inevitable twinge:
897
01:07:32,365 --> 01:07:35,277
Have I done the right thing?
898
01:07:43,645 --> 01:07:46,159
I must admit...
899
01:07:46,365 --> 01:07:48,720
...I do miss the companionship.
900
01:07:51,845 --> 01:07:54,962
Nikki was a showstopper.
901
01:07:57,005 --> 01:08:01,044
But as me ugly old Aunt Gladys
used to say,
902
01:08:02,765 --> 01:08:04,118
"Looks aren't everything."
903
01:08:04,325 --> 01:08:06,122
I used to think that was
a load of bollocks,
904
01:08:07,325 --> 01:08:10,397
but just lately I've been thinking...
905
01:08:10,605 --> 01:08:13,199
...maybe the old bat had something.
906
01:08:53,565 --> 01:08:55,237
Julie?
907
01:08:56,365 --> 01:08:58,083
Alfie, hi.
908
01:08:58,325 --> 01:08:59,678
What a surprise.
909
01:09:00,205 --> 01:09:04,118
- God, I haven't seen you since...
- Yeah.
910
01:09:04,765 --> 01:09:06,835
You look... You look amazing.
911
01:09:07,045 --> 01:09:09,513
Thanks. You too.
You look good too.
912
01:09:10,645 --> 01:09:12,875
I'm getting over a cold.
913
01:09:13,125 --> 01:09:16,800
- But you're okay otherwise?
- I'm fine. I'm always fine.
914
01:09:19,645 --> 01:09:21,203
It's good to see you.
915
01:09:22,485 --> 01:09:24,043
And you.
916
01:09:29,485 --> 01:09:31,521
Hey, you know, I was...
917
01:09:33,405 --> 01:09:36,238
I'm sorry about
what happened between us.
918
01:09:37,045 --> 01:09:40,594
And I'm sorry how it all ended up.
It wasn't...
919
01:09:40,805 --> 01:09:43,160
It wasn't good.
920
01:09:46,565 --> 01:09:51,798
I felt bad about not seeing Max
and about not seeing you.
921
01:09:55,605 --> 01:09:58,642
- It's water under the bridge.
- Good.
922
01:10:01,405 --> 01:10:02,838
You know...
923
01:10:04,165 --> 01:10:05,644
...I'm wondering...
924
01:10:10,525 --> 01:10:12,595
Maybe we...
925
01:10:12,805 --> 01:10:15,877
You know I can never
promise anything.
926
01:10:16,765 --> 01:10:18,676
But if you want, if you like,
927
01:10:18,885 --> 01:10:20,238
maybe we could
see each other again.
928
01:10:20,685 --> 01:10:22,641
It would be okay by me.
929
01:10:22,845 --> 01:10:25,564
It would be more than okay,
it would be great.
930
01:10:25,765 --> 01:10:28,404
- Alfie, l...
- Yeah?
931
01:10:29,285 --> 01:10:31,515
This is Adam.
932
01:10:34,485 --> 01:10:36,476
Hey, how are you?
933
01:10:36,685 --> 01:10:38,357
- Hey, how you doing, Adam?
- Pretty good.
934
01:10:38,565 --> 01:10:40,237
- Adam.
- Yeah.
935
01:10:46,365 --> 01:10:48,276
It was great running into you.
936
01:10:50,285 --> 01:10:53,516
- You look fantastic.
- Thanks.
937
01:10:56,645 --> 01:10:58,840
What time is it? I've gotta go.
938
01:10:59,365 --> 01:11:01,799
I'm late for a meeting.
Nice to meet you, Adam.
939
01:11:12,445 --> 01:11:13,195
Julie?
940
01:11:13,245 --> 01:11:13,802
Julie?
941
01:11:15,845 --> 01:11:18,757
- How's Max?
- Oh, really good.
942
01:11:19,205 --> 01:11:21,400
Will you say hi?
943
01:11:21,605 --> 01:11:24,358
- Sure.
- Or not.
944
01:11:26,045 --> 01:11:27,797
Be well.
945
01:12:12,965 --> 01:12:14,557
Hello.
946
01:12:16,805 --> 01:12:18,841
Hello.
947
01:12:23,765 --> 01:12:26,404
Mrs Wing, is everything...?
948
01:12:26,605 --> 01:12:28,323
Wing.
949
01:12:30,605 --> 01:12:32,277
Why are you crying?
950
01:12:32,485 --> 01:12:34,077
I'm not crying. Get out.
951
01:12:34,805 --> 01:12:38,320
- You sure?
- I'm fine. Get out, Alfie.
952
01:12:38,565 --> 01:12:42,114
I'm sorry. I just wanted to see
if I could borrow a car.
953
01:12:42,325 --> 01:12:44,361
She leave me.
954
01:12:44,565 --> 01:12:46,521
Sorry?
955
01:12:46,725 --> 01:12:49,114
Blossom leave me.
956
01:12:49,325 --> 01:12:53,637
Blossom? Is that your wife's name,
Blossom?
957
01:12:53,845 --> 01:12:57,520
What I do wrong, Alfie? Love her?
958
01:12:59,245 --> 01:13:03,079
Look, mate. Come on,
you can win her back.
959
01:13:03,285 --> 01:13:05,401
Woo her. Send flowers
and chocolates.
960
01:13:05,605 --> 01:13:08,199
Write a poem.
961
01:13:08,365 --> 01:13:10,799
- That what you do?
- Well, actually, no, I've never done that,
962
01:13:11,005 --> 01:13:14,122
but it may be a way to go.
963
01:13:15,765 --> 01:13:17,801
What rhyme with Blossom?
964
01:13:19,965 --> 01:13:23,514
I would try "awesome."
965
01:13:27,285 --> 01:13:29,003
Okay.
966
01:14:25,325 --> 01:14:28,158
You never cease to amaze.
967
01:14:28,365 --> 01:14:30,481
Hey.
968
01:14:30,965 --> 01:14:33,877
Great to see you too, Lon.
969
01:14:34,645 --> 01:14:38,081
I guess I should have rung.
Hey, Sam.
970
01:14:38,285 --> 01:14:40,640
Well, that would have been a plan.
971
01:14:41,725 --> 01:14:44,398
Well, you know, I'm sorry,
it was just...
972
01:14:45,165 --> 01:14:47,076
It's nice.
973
01:14:55,445 --> 01:14:58,403
Look, Lonette...
974
01:15:00,005 --> 01:15:03,042
This is so uncomfortable, I know.
Because...
975
01:15:03,245 --> 01:15:06,317
You don't have to whisper.
Marlon's not here.
976
01:15:12,925 --> 01:15:14,324
I really miss you both.
977
01:15:14,685 --> 01:15:17,597
And I just wondered, maybe...
978
01:15:18,285 --> 01:15:20,355
Maybe me and you could put it
all behind us,
979
01:15:20,605 --> 01:15:24,518
pretend like it never happened,
and then move forward, you know?
980
01:15:25,365 --> 01:15:27,401
I just...
981
01:15:28,365 --> 01:15:30,959
You know, Alfie...
982
01:15:31,645 --> 01:15:33,636
...dropping by wasn't a good idea.
983
01:15:41,365 --> 01:15:43,401
You two didn't have a baby.
984
01:15:46,205 --> 01:15:48,275
You did have a baby.
985
01:15:49,205 --> 01:15:52,675
No, you were right the first time.
986
01:16:19,445 --> 01:16:23,279
Thinking back to that day at the clinic,
I remember
987
01:16:23,485 --> 01:16:26,079
trying to look in Lon's eyes to see
if I could even begin to understand
988
01:16:26,245 --> 01:16:31,114
what she was going through,
and how she wouldn't look at me.
989
01:16:31,725 --> 01:16:33,795
And I think I knew then.
990
01:16:34,045 --> 01:16:37,162
I just didn't want to admit it to myself.
991
01:16:39,285 --> 01:16:41,719
So classically...
992
01:16:43,205 --> 01:16:45,400
... I said nothing.
993
01:16:46,605 --> 01:16:49,324
I knew there was
a good chance the baby
994
01:16:49,565 --> 01:16:51,795
could be Marlon's.
995
01:16:54,685 --> 01:16:57,324
At least, I hoped.
996
01:16:58,645 --> 01:17:00,522
This is a lot...
997
01:17:02,885 --> 01:17:05,001
...for me too, Lon.
998
01:17:32,605 --> 01:17:34,800
Marlon stayed.
999
01:17:35,245 --> 01:17:36,837
For now.
1000
01:17:45,045 --> 01:17:47,639
Is there anything I can do?
1001
01:17:49,005 --> 01:17:51,519
What are you gonna do, Alfie?
1002
01:18:31,605 --> 01:18:32,594
Hey.
1003
01:18:38,405 --> 01:18:41,954
You know, I never...
1004
01:18:42,525 --> 01:18:45,756
- I never meant...
- You never mean to hurt anybody.
1005
01:18:50,005 --> 01:18:52,121
But you do, Alfie.
1006
01:20:19,605 --> 01:20:22,244
I felt I needed a friend to talk to.
1007
01:20:22,445 --> 01:20:25,835
Problem was, they were suddenly
in short supply.
1008
01:20:26,045 --> 01:20:31,278
And I don't remember being in the car.
I just... I just... I was stopped.
1009
01:20:31,485 --> 01:20:33,077
And I'm crying.
1010
01:20:33,285 --> 01:20:37,642
- Crying for the little one?
- I don't know exactly.
1011
01:20:38,445 --> 01:20:40,401
Maybe for him.
1012
01:20:41,765 --> 01:20:43,960
Mostly, I think, for me.
1013
01:20:45,845 --> 01:20:47,915
And Marlon.
1014
01:20:49,325 --> 01:20:52,795
I never had anybody look at me
quite like that before.
1015
01:20:54,765 --> 01:20:57,996
And believe me, I've had some looks
that could kill.
1016
01:21:01,325 --> 01:21:05,716
He stood by Lonette.
I could've never, ever...
1017
01:21:05,925 --> 01:21:09,235
You don't know what you'll do
till you really love someone.
1018
01:21:12,445 --> 01:21:13,798
Well, now what?
1019
01:21:15,165 --> 01:21:17,440
You gonna shoehorn yourself
into the situation?
1020
01:21:17,645 --> 01:21:18,998
No.
1021
01:21:19,205 --> 01:21:22,914
You did the only thing you could do.
You behaved like a gentleman.
1022
01:21:23,165 --> 01:21:25,042
I've never been accused
of that before.
1023
01:21:25,245 --> 01:21:28,601
Don't get all choked up. You also
behaved like a scheming,
1024
01:21:28,805 --> 01:21:32,684
backstabbing, so-Iow-you-can-Iook-up-
a-snake's-asshole son of a bitch.
1025
01:21:32,885 --> 01:21:36,400
Next time, think before unzipping.
1026
01:21:38,325 --> 01:21:41,715
It's all right. You screwed up.
1027
01:21:41,925 --> 01:21:44,075
So, what are you gonna do?
1028
01:21:44,405 --> 01:21:46,714
Run to the bridge?
1029
01:21:47,365 --> 01:21:49,515
The question is...
1030
01:21:51,725 --> 01:21:54,956
...what's gonna happen with
the rest of your life?
1031
01:22:20,885 --> 01:22:23,558
I'd be lying if I didn't admit the events
of the past few weeks
1032
01:22:23,765 --> 01:22:26,359
have knocked me for a bit of a loop.
1033
01:22:32,925 --> 01:22:35,644
All right, all right, all right.
1034
01:22:45,805 --> 01:22:47,158
Hello, mate.
1035
01:22:47,365 --> 01:22:48,878
And what can we do for you
this evening?
1036
01:22:49,085 --> 01:22:50,837
- How much are one of those?
- Five-fifty.
1037
01:22:51,045 --> 01:22:53,639
And you'll need to put them in water
immediately.
1038
01:22:53,805 --> 01:22:55,875
Right, I'll have that.
1039
01:23:00,725 --> 01:23:02,283
Second thought.
1040
01:23:02,485 --> 01:23:04,760
Actually, this is
sort of a special thing.
1041
01:23:05,205 --> 01:23:07,799
- What's the occasion?
- Say again?
1042
01:23:08,045 --> 01:23:12,482
- Proposal?
- No. No, no.
1043
01:23:13,605 --> 01:23:18,633
Well, I do want to extend an offer
to maybe have a go at it for a bit,
1044
01:23:18,845 --> 01:23:20,642
give us a spin, that kind of thing.
1045
01:23:20,845 --> 01:23:24,042
I get it. Commitment issues.
1046
01:23:25,045 --> 01:23:28,242
Tell me what she, or he, is like,
1047
01:23:28,445 --> 01:23:30,242
and we'll find the appropriate
bloom.
1048
01:23:30,805 --> 01:23:33,877
Well, she is...
1049
01:23:37,365 --> 01:23:40,994
You know what, she's adventurous.
1050
01:23:42,565 --> 01:23:47,116
- Frivole.
- And very sexy.
1051
01:23:47,685 --> 01:23:50,153
I'm thinking Dolce Vita.
1052
01:23:50,365 --> 01:23:53,835
A little mischievous.
You know, cheeky?
1053
01:23:54,085 --> 01:23:57,157
Avalanche, with a touch
1054
01:23:57,565 --> 01:24:00,875
of mio amore.
1055
01:24:01,765 --> 01:24:04,802
And then under it all, she's just...
1056
01:24:05,005 --> 01:24:08,918
She's just kind of sweet.
1057
01:24:32,525 --> 01:24:34,083
Liz?
1058
01:24:34,285 --> 01:24:37,277
- Hello?
- It's me, my love.
1059
01:24:39,045 --> 01:24:43,084
Hey, I didn't expect to see you tonight.
I thought you were working.
1060
01:24:43,285 --> 01:24:45,924
I had a cancellation,
so I took the night off.
1061
01:24:46,125 --> 01:24:48,593
Listen, I thought we should get
up early, get out of the city,
1062
01:24:48,845 --> 01:24:50,881
go to the country
and see if we can stay
1063
01:24:51,085 --> 01:24:53,679
- at that B & B you're always on about.
- I'd love to, but I can't.
1064
01:24:53,845 --> 01:24:55,563
I have an investors' breakfast
in the morning.
1065
01:24:55,765 --> 01:24:58,598
- How about on the weekend?
- Brilliant. Better.
1066
01:24:58,805 --> 01:25:01,478
All right. I thought you may...
1067
01:25:02,365 --> 01:25:05,084
Oh, my God.
1068
01:25:05,845 --> 01:25:08,882
No. Alfie.
1069
01:25:09,085 --> 01:25:13,363
- Oh, what a sweet gesture.
- Milady.
1070
01:25:13,565 --> 01:25:17,683
They're not out of some plastic bucket.
I handpicked, like, every bud.
1071
01:25:17,885 --> 01:25:20,524
- I can see that.
- And apparently, I have a bit of a flair
1072
01:25:20,725 --> 01:25:22,317
for flower arranging.
1073
01:25:23,005 --> 01:25:25,473
I'm impressed.
1074
01:25:25,685 --> 01:25:28,279
- Talk about being blown away.
- Good. Mission accomplished.
1075
01:25:30,885 --> 01:25:33,080
I like surprising you.
1076
01:25:34,245 --> 01:25:36,315
Well, you certainly have done that.
1077
01:25:37,725 --> 01:25:41,638
All right, then. Well, you're up early,
so I'm off.
1078
01:25:41,885 --> 01:25:45,321
- I'm gonna see you tomorrow night?
- Yeah.
1079
01:25:45,525 --> 01:25:48,198
When we speak,
there's some things...
1080
01:25:48,405 --> 01:25:50,873
Some thing I really wanna
talk to you about.
1081
01:25:51,085 --> 01:25:52,916
What, honey?
1082
01:25:53,125 --> 01:25:57,596
I'm gonna wait for the exact perfect
moment, and that's all I'll say.
1083
01:25:59,805 --> 01:26:01,523
I'll ring you in the morning.
1084
01:26:01,765 --> 01:26:04,199
And, Alfie, thank you for the flowers.
They made my evening.
1085
01:26:04,405 --> 01:26:05,884
Really?
1086
01:26:07,885 --> 01:26:12,117
In that case, maybe I'll stay.
1087
01:26:15,965 --> 01:26:17,557
I don't...
1088
01:26:19,725 --> 01:26:21,875
No, it's not a good idea.
1089
01:26:26,725 --> 01:26:28,761
There's a guy in there, isn't there?
1090
01:26:32,605 --> 01:26:33,799
God...
1091
01:26:42,365 --> 01:26:43,957
Go.
1092
01:26:48,565 --> 01:26:50,237
Don't do this.
1093
01:26:54,965 --> 01:26:56,159
What's he got?
1094
01:26:58,125 --> 01:27:00,480
- Better than me?
- Alfie, please.
1095
01:27:00,725 --> 01:27:02,955
Tell me. Please?
1096
01:27:05,845 --> 01:27:09,884
Really, I would like to know.
What's he got? Tell me.
1097
01:27:10,085 --> 01:27:13,998
I want to know what he's got.
Please tell me.
1098
01:27:14,205 --> 01:27:17,800
Come on. Come on.
Come on, just tell me.
1099
01:27:18,005 --> 01:27:19,882
Just tell me, come on.
1100
01:27:21,765 --> 01:27:24,279
What's he got better than me?!
1101
01:27:33,245 --> 01:27:35,440
He's younger than you.
1102
01:28:02,125 --> 01:28:04,719
"He's younger than you."
1103
01:28:06,205 --> 01:28:09,436
I've gotta admit,
I didn't see it coming.
1104
01:28:11,045 --> 01:28:13,798
She caught me off-guard, all right.
1105
01:28:15,605 --> 01:28:19,200
You couldn't tell, though, could you?
1106
01:28:21,325 --> 01:28:27,002
As you've learned by now,
I'm rather skilled at hiding my feelings.
1107
01:28:31,125 --> 01:28:33,002
You see, the thing with feelings
is they have
1108
01:28:33,205 --> 01:28:37,960
this quiet way of sneaking up on you
when you least expect it.
1109
01:28:39,925 --> 01:28:42,041
You know what I mean?
1110
01:28:42,285 --> 01:28:44,196
Yeah.
1111
01:28:45,485 --> 01:28:47,077
Like with Liz.
1112
01:28:47,525 --> 01:28:51,438
Who would've thought,
of all the women I've known...
1113
01:28:53,685 --> 01:28:57,314
...the one I let my guard down with
delivers the knockout punch.
1114
01:29:00,125 --> 01:29:01,683
Ironic.
1115
01:29:04,325 --> 01:29:06,634
Calendar word.
1116
01:29:14,445 --> 01:29:15,958
Dorie.
1117
01:29:19,925 --> 01:29:23,156
- Hi.
- Hello, Alfie.
1118
01:29:24,685 --> 01:29:28,564
- I haven't seen you in ages.
- Maybe because you stopped calling.
1119
01:29:29,605 --> 01:29:32,358
I know. Things were getting
a bit too...
1120
01:29:32,565 --> 01:29:35,079
Don't bother explaining. I'm way past
needing excuses.
1121
01:29:35,325 --> 01:29:39,000
All right. No, you know what?
I want to explain.
1122
01:29:39,205 --> 01:29:41,435
What? You had your fill of me?
1123
01:29:41,645 --> 01:29:44,557
Someone cuter came along?
I don't need to hear it, Alfie.
1124
01:29:44,925 --> 01:29:46,074
- Look, Dorie...
- Really.
1125
01:29:46,285 --> 01:29:47,604
Look, Dorie...
1126
01:29:50,125 --> 01:29:51,683
What happens with me is...
1127
01:29:52,685 --> 01:29:54,721
I don't know, I get...
1128
01:29:54,925 --> 01:29:58,804
When it gets too... Not close
but something like that,
1129
01:29:59,005 --> 01:30:03,954
I start to feel... Not stifled,
1130
01:30:04,165 --> 01:30:07,760
not trapped, but something like that.
1131
01:30:07,965 --> 01:30:10,604
And I... And...
1132
01:30:11,725 --> 01:30:14,000
You know? You know what I mean?
1133
01:30:17,365 --> 01:30:20,516
Did that make...?
Did that make any sense?
1134
01:30:21,285 --> 01:30:24,880
I think it has to make sense to you
more than me at this point.
1135
01:30:27,245 --> 01:30:29,076
Yeah, fair enough.
1136
01:30:29,285 --> 01:30:32,118
I need to go. He'll be waiting for me.
1137
01:30:32,325 --> 01:30:33,883
Dorie.
1138
01:30:39,205 --> 01:30:40,797
I'm sorry.
1139
01:30:56,365 --> 01:30:58,196
Good luck, Alfie.
1140
01:31:14,045 --> 01:31:16,354
I warned them all from
the beginning.
1141
01:31:16,565 --> 01:31:20,114
I always said something along
the lines of,
1142
01:31:20,325 --> 01:31:22,202
"I must advise you,
1143
01:31:22,405 --> 01:31:26,603
I am stamped with an
invisible warning.
1144
01:31:26,805 --> 01:31:31,276
I will not commit. I will never marry."
1145
01:31:37,645 --> 01:31:41,604
Despite my best efforts, I'm beginning
to feel some small cracks
1146
01:31:41,805 --> 01:31:46,242
in my faux finish.
1147
01:31:47,845 --> 01:31:50,917
You know, when I look back
on my little life,
1148
01:31:51,125 --> 01:31:53,559
and all the women I've known...
1149
01:31:55,325 --> 01:31:58,237
... I can't help but think about...
1150
01:32:00,085 --> 01:32:02,838
... all that they've done for me...
1151
01:32:03,565 --> 01:32:05,999
... and how little I've done for them.
1152
01:32:06,205 --> 01:32:09,834
How they looked after me,
cared for me...
1153
01:32:10,285 --> 01:32:13,595
... and I repaid them by never
returning the favour.
1154
01:32:16,045 --> 01:32:17,763
Yeah.
1155
01:32:17,965 --> 01:32:21,082
I used to think I had the best end
of the deal.
1156
01:32:25,365 --> 01:32:27,401
What have I got?
1157
01:32:27,605 --> 01:32:29,800
Really?
1158
01:32:30,725 --> 01:32:33,239
Some money in my pocket.
1159
01:32:33,725 --> 01:32:37,240
Some nice threads.
Fancy car at my disposal.
1160
01:32:37,445 --> 01:32:39,720
And I'm single.
1161
01:32:42,525 --> 01:32:46,200
Unattached. Free as a bird.
1162
01:32:48,485 --> 01:32:50,760
I don't depend on nobody.
1163
01:32:50,965 --> 01:32:53,081
Nobody depends on me.
1164
01:32:54,205 --> 01:32:56,321
My life's my own.
1165
01:33:02,285 --> 01:33:05,118
But I don't have peace of mind.
1166
01:33:11,645 --> 01:33:14,523
And if you don't have that,
you've got nothing.
1167
01:33:17,485 --> 01:33:18,884
So...
1168
01:33:20,405 --> 01:33:23,715
So, what's the answer?
That's what I keep asking myself.
1169
01:33:28,365 --> 01:33:30,515
What's it all about?
1170
01:33:32,525 --> 01:33:34,595
You know what I mean?