1 00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:21,468 Hart, can you get me Miss Arizona's number? 2 00:01:21,636 --> 00:01:24,763 - Why would I do that, Clonsky? - Because she needs a man in her life. 3 00:01:24,938 --> 00:01:27,065 Yeah? Where do you fit in? 4 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:30,902 - Nice. Nice talk. Not too congenial, Hart. - Yeah. 5 00:01:31,077 --> 00:01:33,636 It says right here you're supposed to be real amiable. 6 00:01:33,812 --> 00:01:36,508 That's three weeks ago. I've been amiable since then... 7 00:01:36,681 --> 00:01:38,478 ...and now I just wanna hit somebody. 8 00:01:38,650 --> 00:01:40,413 Well, this could be your chance, Hart. 9 00:01:40,585 --> 00:01:43,178 Okay, let's go over this one more time. The Housewives... 10 00:01:43,387 --> 00:01:46,584 ...they knocked off nine banks in a month and wounded two guards. 11 00:01:46,757 --> 00:01:51,090 We got a tip this bank is their next target. So stay frosty. Keep your heads up. 12 00:01:52,661 --> 00:01:55,960 You know you can't wear a swimsuit on this mission, right, Hart? 13 00:01:56,264 --> 00:01:57,492 That's good. 14 00:01:58,132 --> 00:02:01,067 - What happened to world peace? - It comes and goes. 15 00:02:16,915 --> 00:02:19,315 Control to Big Mama. 16 00:02:19,485 --> 00:02:21,384 Check your baby. 17 00:02:22,820 --> 00:02:24,844 Hey, honey. 18 00:02:26,124 --> 00:02:30,924 - Control, this is Big Mama. Confirm. - Confirm, Big Mama. Proceed on in. 19 00:02:33,729 --> 00:02:36,789 - Big Daddy and Big Mama are inside. - Copy that. 20 00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:40,895 I hope we wrap this early. I have Yankee tickets tonight. 21 00:02:42,469 --> 00:02:44,232 What are you up to? 22 00:02:44,405 --> 00:02:47,806 Just basic paperwork, and then I got company coming over for dinner... 23 00:02:47,975 --> 00:02:50,807 ...so I just need to do a little... A little defrosting. 24 00:02:50,977 --> 00:02:55,311 - Oh, your boyfriend Eric's coming over? - He's not my boyfriend. Just... 25 00:02:55,481 --> 00:03:00,213 We're just friends, you know? Friends and coworkers. Friendly coworkers. 26 00:03:00,385 --> 00:03:03,616 Hey, you ever been to the Poconos? 27 00:03:05,055 --> 00:03:08,353 Where is that? What is that, New York? Pennsylvania? 28 00:03:08,659 --> 00:03:10,957 You think it'd be hard to get a reservation there? 29 00:03:11,127 --> 00:03:13,459 What, for you and your coworker? 30 00:03:13,630 --> 00:03:17,258 - That's so sweet, two agents in love. - Yeah. 31 00:03:17,433 --> 00:03:20,800 So I guess this is a good time to tell you that this is not your baby. 32 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,539 Housewives, front door. Housewives. 33 00:03:33,946 --> 00:03:35,538 How old? 34 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,978 - Thirty-five. - No, the baby. Can I take a peek? 35 00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:41,175 No, get lost, lady. We haven't changed his diaper in a week. 36 00:03:41,853 --> 00:03:45,516 You're that Miss Congeniality lady. 37 00:03:46,057 --> 00:03:48,786 No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. 38 00:03:48,959 --> 00:03:51,450 I saw you on TV on the Miss United States pageant. 39 00:03:51,628 --> 00:03:53,390 No, ma'am. Ma'am, you did not. 40 00:03:53,563 --> 00:03:55,929 - You're Gracie Hart! - Ma'am, no. Ma'am, please... 41 00:03:56,098 --> 00:03:57,360 - Gracie Hart? - Gracie Hart? 42 00:03:57,533 --> 00:03:59,694 - Gracie Hart! - No, I'm not! I'm not! I'm not! 43 00:03:59,869 --> 00:04:01,165 - She's FBI! - I'm not! 44 00:04:01,337 --> 00:04:04,533 - It's a setup! - Okay, nobody move! Nobody move! 45 00:04:04,706 --> 00:04:06,673 Nobody's moving. Ma'am, please be... 46 00:04:06,841 --> 00:04:09,002 Please be quiet! Get down! Nobody's moving. 47 00:04:09,176 --> 00:04:11,872 - Get down, please! Please, get down! - Down, I said. Down! 48 00:04:12,046 --> 00:04:14,742 Nobody's moving. It's okay. Ma'am, get down! Get down! 49 00:04:14,914 --> 00:04:18,872 We've got a hostage situation. We need backup. Now! 50 00:04:19,886 --> 00:04:22,149 - We gotta move, ladies! - Okay. Okay, it's okay. 51 00:04:22,321 --> 00:04:24,049 Get your hand out of the purse, Hart. 52 00:04:24,989 --> 00:04:28,322 You too, hubby, get your hands up where I can see them. 53 00:04:29,292 --> 00:04:31,625 Tell me where every other agent is in this bank. 54 00:04:37,132 --> 00:04:38,361 Now. 55 00:04:40,736 --> 00:04:42,566 Now! 56 00:04:42,738 --> 00:04:45,137 There's one in the baby carriage. 57 00:04:50,577 --> 00:04:53,444 - Freeze, FBI! - FBI, freeze! 58 00:04:55,648 --> 00:04:57,946 Put the gun down! Put the guns down! 59 00:05:07,692 --> 00:05:09,784 - Take her. Take... - Got her. 60 00:05:10,294 --> 00:05:12,694 Clonsky, where are you hit? Where are you hit? 61 00:05:12,863 --> 00:05:14,523 - In the vest. I'm... - Where? 62 00:05:14,697 --> 00:05:16,460 I'm all right. I'm all right. 63 00:05:16,633 --> 00:05:18,260 - Oh, my God. - It hurt like a mother. 64 00:05:18,434 --> 00:05:20,026 I know. 65 00:05:24,606 --> 00:05:28,667 But I got something that's gonna make you feel a lot better. 66 00:05:28,843 --> 00:05:33,973 Here we go, 602-555-0199. 67 00:05:34,147 --> 00:05:35,944 What's that? 68 00:05:36,182 --> 00:05:38,082 Miss Arizona's number. 69 00:05:38,385 --> 00:05:41,911 - You couldn't tell me earlier? - No. 70 00:05:42,087 --> 00:05:44,021 - What do we got? - I'm okay. 71 00:05:44,189 --> 00:05:46,589 Excuse me. 72 00:05:47,292 --> 00:05:48,987 Would you mind? 73 00:05:59,970 --> 00:06:02,335 Hart! Hart! 74 00:06:03,472 --> 00:06:06,998 - Sorry, sir. - Let's not make a bad day worse. 75 00:06:07,275 --> 00:06:09,038 Sir... 76 00:06:09,210 --> 00:06:12,702 ...about the bank, I don't know what happened. 77 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:16,281 It was like my high school reunion, except these people liked me. 78 00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:19,350 Well, I think we can all agree it didn't go according to plan. 79 00:06:19,519 --> 00:06:21,953 But I wanna talk to you about something else. 80 00:06:22,121 --> 00:06:24,918 This is some fan mail we've gotten for you since the pageant. 81 00:06:25,090 --> 00:06:28,116 Letters, cards, chocolates. 82 00:06:28,293 --> 00:06:31,626 I'll take the chocolates. 83 00:06:31,797 --> 00:06:34,356 "Dear Miss Hart, I saw you on the pageant... 84 00:06:34,532 --> 00:06:36,931 ...and the next night I was coming out of a party... 85 00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:39,659 ...when this horrible guy grabbed me in the parking lot. 86 00:06:40,003 --> 00:06:44,200 So I did your SING self-defense, and he totally backed off. 87 00:06:44,373 --> 00:06:48,069 I've gone through some tough times lately, and you have no idea what it means... 88 00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:51,211 ...to feel like you can stand up for yourself again. 89 00:06:51,646 --> 00:06:55,979 I just wanted to say thank you and you look beautiful in your e... " 90 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,208 - Evening gown? - Evening gown. 91 00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:01,376 - She liked it? - Lori, Newark. 92 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:05,555 Sir, you're reading my mail. That's a class-B misdemeanor. 93 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:10,161 Hart, I've been getting five calls a day for you to be on talk shows. 94 00:07:10,328 --> 00:07:12,455 The Bureau's had some bad publicity lately... 95 00:07:12,630 --> 00:07:16,726 ...and the director thinks you could be the new face of the FBI. 96 00:07:19,436 --> 00:07:22,165 Sir, I'm just a field agent. 97 00:07:22,338 --> 00:07:26,364 Most field agents don't have the president calling them at home to congratulate them. 98 00:07:26,541 --> 00:07:29,305 I can't believe I hung up on him. I thought it was Clonsky. 99 00:07:29,478 --> 00:07:33,777 This is important, Hart. Go home, have a nice dinner... 100 00:07:34,548 --> 00:07:36,448 ...and think about it. 101 00:07:37,350 --> 00:07:38,978 Well... 102 00:07:39,153 --> 00:07:41,780 ...I could use a nice dinner, sir. 103 00:07:42,322 --> 00:07:43,721 I'll think about it. 104 00:08:31,030 --> 00:08:32,553 Hart. 105 00:08:33,297 --> 00:08:35,732 Well, hello, Agent Matthews. 106 00:08:35,901 --> 00:08:40,701 No, I'm just putting the finishing touches on your chicken potpie. Yeah. 107 00:08:40,871 --> 00:08:45,398 I think I'm gonna make some man very, very happy someday. 108 00:08:45,575 --> 00:08:47,406 Listen, I wanna ask you something. 109 00:08:47,576 --> 00:08:50,739 Do you know if the Poconos are in New York or Pennsylvania? 110 00:08:50,913 --> 00:08:54,007 Because I cannot seem to get a clear answer on this. 111 00:08:54,182 --> 00:08:56,650 Because I was thinking that maybe this weekend... 112 00:08:56,819 --> 00:09:01,517 ...we could take a little drive down there, do a little exploring, do... 113 00:09:01,855 --> 00:09:03,550 Why, aren't...? 114 00:09:03,824 --> 00:09:08,227 Why do you wanna talk tomorrow? I mean, aren't you gonna be here in 10 minutes? 115 00:09:12,498 --> 00:09:16,831 Oh, well, I thought we were moving at kind of a normal speed. L... 116 00:09:19,002 --> 00:09:22,836 Well, I don't need any more space. I mean... 117 00:09:23,006 --> 00:09:27,066 You know, it's not like I expect us to get married or anything, but I... 118 00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:35,013 Well, what is it? I mean, is it...? 119 00:09:36,251 --> 00:09:39,913 Is it the way I snort? I mean, because I don't have to snort. 120 00:09:40,087 --> 00:09:43,352 Or is it the...? Is it the sex? Because... 121 00:09:44,658 --> 00:09:49,616 You know, I could... I could get a manual or something. 122 00:09:56,869 --> 00:09:58,699 Well, no. 123 00:10:00,304 --> 00:10:02,669 No, you don't have to explain. 124 00:10:05,709 --> 00:10:09,974 No. No, you know what? You know what? I have to... I have to go. 125 00:10:12,014 --> 00:10:14,141 Don't worry about dinner. I... 126 00:10:14,316 --> 00:10:18,513 Mrs. Flammenbaum next door invited me to a surprise... 127 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,450 ...keg party. You know what? I have to go. 128 00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,452 Okay. 129 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:26,992 Bye. 130 00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:11,642 - This is where the health plan kicks in. - You ain't kidding. 131 00:12:19,354 --> 00:12:21,255 - Morning, sir. - Hey. 132 00:12:21,422 --> 00:12:24,186 I'd really like to talk to you for a minute, if I could. 133 00:12:24,359 --> 00:12:26,189 Hart, have you been crying? 134 00:12:26,361 --> 00:12:30,194 No. No. I don't cry. I don't even have tear ducts. 135 00:12:37,136 --> 00:12:39,934 Sam Fuller. Transferred in from Chicago last week... 136 00:12:40,106 --> 00:12:42,733 ...because of anger-management problems. 137 00:12:42,908 --> 00:12:46,469 Really? She seems like such a people person. 138 00:12:47,978 --> 00:12:49,878 I've been giving this a lot of thought... 139 00:12:50,047 --> 00:12:54,779 ...and given the fact that going out on ops has become problematic in light of... 140 00:12:54,951 --> 00:12:56,646 ...the bank thing... 141 00:12:56,819 --> 00:13:01,414 Well, I have decided to become the new face of the FBI. 142 00:13:01,590 --> 00:13:04,320 I really wanna be there and support the Bureau... 143 00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:08,724 ...and be a positive role model for women. I feel like this is a great ti... 144 00:13:09,964 --> 00:13:12,363 Oh, yeah. No way you could've seen me standing there. 145 00:13:12,533 --> 00:13:13,760 - Sorry. - You were saying? 146 00:13:13,934 --> 00:13:15,959 Hey! Yo! 147 00:13:16,136 --> 00:13:19,730 - How about a real "sorry," huh? - Come again? 148 00:13:19,905 --> 00:13:21,702 - You heard me. - This is gonna be great. 149 00:13:21,874 --> 00:13:24,866 I said, how about a real "sorry"? 150 00:13:25,410 --> 00:13:28,345 You are about to feel some real pain if you don't back off. 151 00:13:28,513 --> 00:13:32,039 Hey, you know what? Don't talk to me about pain, sister. I invented pain. 152 00:13:32,215 --> 00:13:33,876 No, you didn't just call me sister. 153 00:13:34,051 --> 00:13:38,214 I don't recall seeing a little, skinny-ass white girl at the table growing up. 154 00:13:38,387 --> 00:13:41,412 Hey! First of all, thank you for calling me skinny. 155 00:13:41,590 --> 00:13:43,648 Second of all, what is your problem? 156 00:13:43,825 --> 00:13:46,259 And third of all, you better apologize to me or... 157 00:13:46,428 --> 00:13:48,827 - Make me! - You know, I don't make trash. Come on! 158 00:13:51,465 --> 00:13:53,763 - Come on. - Knock it off, Fuller. Take a shower. 159 00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,902 That's right, take a shower. Walk away. 160 00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:58,401 - You lucky you still can walk! - You want more? 161 00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:01,062 - Take a shower. Go on. - Come here. 162 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:04,408 That's right, go on. Keep walking. 163 00:14:05,944 --> 00:14:07,501 Hart. 164 00:14:08,913 --> 00:14:10,778 You were saying? 165 00:14:12,984 --> 00:14:16,510 Oh, a positive role model for women, sir. 166 00:14:18,321 --> 00:14:21,484 I want you to talk to someone before we schedule any appearances. 167 00:14:21,658 --> 00:14:24,182 Someone who can help with personal-presentation issues. 168 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,192 Clothing, makeup, so forth. He comes very highly recommended. 169 00:14:27,362 --> 00:14:29,489 I just went through a makeover for the pageant. 170 00:14:29,664 --> 00:14:32,962 I'm still getting hairspray off my butt. 171 00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:38,434 What? It prevents the bathing suit from riding up. Thank you. 172 00:14:38,604 --> 00:14:41,869 Sir, I just don't wanna become FBI Barbie again. 173 00:14:42,041 --> 00:14:43,269 What's your option? 174 00:14:43,442 --> 00:14:46,878 You can't go in the field without putting yourself and agents in jeopardy. 175 00:14:47,045 --> 00:14:49,980 - That part of your life is over. - Sir, it can't be. 176 00:14:50,148 --> 00:14:52,809 That's all that I know how to do. That's all that I have. 177 00:14:52,983 --> 00:14:55,975 You gotta make a choice. Sit at a desk pushing papers... 178 00:14:56,153 --> 00:14:59,121 ...or be out there boosting the Bureau's image? 179 00:14:59,456 --> 00:15:03,050 Look, when you make up your mind, let me know. 180 00:15:03,659 --> 00:15:06,559 Rachel, did those transfer papers for Matthews come through? 181 00:15:06,728 --> 00:15:08,821 On your desk, sir. 182 00:15:09,463 --> 00:15:13,900 Sir, is Agent Matthews going someplace? 183 00:15:14,068 --> 00:15:15,728 Miami. 184 00:15:16,837 --> 00:15:21,705 He's gonna be assistant SAC. Going to the top, that boy. 185 00:15:25,245 --> 00:15:26,768 Sir. 186 00:15:29,014 --> 00:15:30,446 Sorry. 187 00:15:32,750 --> 00:15:35,514 You know, I'll meet whoever you want me to meet. 188 00:15:35,686 --> 00:15:37,380 Good. 189 00:15:51,566 --> 00:15:53,726 Oh, I hope she's not a fatty. 190 00:15:53,901 --> 00:15:56,893 Joel Myers, Gracie Hart. 191 00:15:57,371 --> 00:15:58,804 Oh, yes. 192 00:15:59,238 --> 00:16:01,638 Yes. 193 00:16:01,808 --> 00:16:03,776 I can work with this. 194 00:16:03,943 --> 00:16:06,468 You will be my Mona Lisa, my Sistine Chapel. 195 00:16:06,646 --> 00:16:10,012 - I will find the sculpture in the stone. - Slow down, da Vinci. 196 00:16:10,182 --> 00:16:11,979 How do you feel about a pushup bra? 197 00:16:12,149 --> 00:16:15,380 How do you feel about a genital-shocking taser gun? 198 00:16:16,519 --> 00:16:18,420 I'm open to it. 199 00:16:19,689 --> 00:16:21,247 Okay. 200 00:16:21,424 --> 00:16:24,551 Are you open to new experiences, like becoming the face of the FBI? 201 00:16:24,726 --> 00:16:28,321 - I did the pageant, I can do this. - That was three days. This is your life. 202 00:16:28,497 --> 00:16:30,362 That was teaching a dog a few new tricks. 203 00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,965 This is teaching a dog to become a butterfly. 204 00:16:33,134 --> 00:16:36,364 Not that you're a dog. They generally have smoother hair. 205 00:16:37,938 --> 00:16:41,738 Look, just... You know, just tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it. 206 00:16:42,409 --> 00:16:45,037 - Rule number one, no hitting. - What? 207 00:16:45,212 --> 00:16:49,772 The face of the FBI uses her words, not her fists or a chair. 208 00:16:49,949 --> 00:16:51,974 Rule number two, chew with your mouth closed. 209 00:16:52,217 --> 00:16:55,345 - You don't know how I eat. - You have ketchup stains all over you. 210 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,818 How did they get there if they didn't fall from an open orifice? 211 00:16:59,656 --> 00:17:02,887 I don't know. Maybe I walked under a ketchup tree. 212 00:17:04,428 --> 00:17:07,362 Rule number three, no snorting. 213 00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:10,262 Why don't you just take the list. 214 00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:20,362 And I truly believe you are capable of great class and style. 215 00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:27,809 And, may I say, I also recently went through a breakup. 216 00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,872 I didn't go through a breakup. 217 00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:33,142 Puffy eyes, no sleep, irritable. 218 00:17:34,152 --> 00:17:36,780 And some of the other agents told me about it. 219 00:17:36,954 --> 00:17:40,719 But believe me, you do as I say, and you will make him regret it... 220 00:17:40,891 --> 00:17:45,487 ...because people care about people who care about themselves. 221 00:17:49,666 --> 00:17:53,396 - So it's all in here? - No, it's all in here. 222 00:17:53,569 --> 00:17:56,799 America wants a star. So you have to become a star. 223 00:17:56,971 --> 00:17:59,871 You have to dress and treat your friends like you're a star. 224 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,440 You have to treat yourself like a star. Before you... 225 00:18:02,709 --> 00:18:04,437 I know, I know. I'm a big star! 226 00:18:04,610 --> 00:18:08,068 Our next guest was the runner-up at last year's Miss United States pageant. 227 00:18:09,649 --> 00:18:11,708 We found out she was actually an FBI agent... 228 00:18:11,884 --> 00:18:14,249 ...on a mission to thwart an attack on the pageant. 229 00:18:14,419 --> 00:18:16,284 You can read about it in her new book... 230 00:18:16,454 --> 00:18:18,944 ...From Misdemeanors to Miss Congeniality. 231 00:18:19,124 --> 00:18:21,990 Here's Agent Gracie Hart. 232 00:18:23,527 --> 00:18:25,392 - Hi, Gracie. - Regis. Good to see you. 233 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,291 - Joy. - How are you? 234 00:18:27,463 --> 00:18:30,159 - What a great suit. - Thank you, and you look fabulous. 235 00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:34,132 - Thank you. - This is not how I picture an FBI agent. 236 00:18:34,503 --> 00:18:36,528 You don't look anything like J. Edgar Hoover. 237 00:18:36,705 --> 00:18:39,639 Oh, really? Because this is his dress. 238 00:18:41,742 --> 00:18:44,471 - Listen, I watched the pageant... - I bet you did, Regis. 239 00:18:44,644 --> 00:18:46,805 Every year, actually. It's embarrassing. 240 00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:50,346 My favorite part was the women's self-defense thing, you know? 241 00:18:50,516 --> 00:18:51,983 Could you give us an encore? 242 00:18:52,152 --> 00:18:55,450 Actually, I don't do that anymore. I have someone who does it for me. 243 00:18:55,621 --> 00:18:59,579 So, if I could, I'd like to bring out a little friend of mine, Agent Sam Fuller... 244 00:18:59,757 --> 00:19:02,350 ...who will be helping us with the demonstration. 245 00:19:02,894 --> 00:19:04,986 Here she is. 246 00:19:06,763 --> 00:19:09,595 So, Regis, if we could have you come over to the mat. 247 00:19:09,765 --> 00:19:11,324 Fuller. 248 00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:15,032 Stand right here with Fuller in front of you. 249 00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:18,897 - All right, Regis, grab her. - She looks angry. 250 00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:22,839 - Do I have to grab her? - Go ahead. She has no place else to be. 251 00:19:23,377 --> 00:19:28,280 All right, ladies, if you'll please remember, the word is "SING." Solar plexus... 252 00:19:29,415 --> 00:19:30,780 ...instep... 253 00:19:30,950 --> 00:19:32,178 ...nose... 254 00:19:32,352 --> 00:19:35,377 ...and groin. - Not the groin! No! 255 00:19:37,189 --> 00:19:40,248 Very nice. Thank you, Agent Fuller. 256 00:19:40,424 --> 00:19:43,188 Come on, Regis, let's get you up. 257 00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:50,895 Thanks, Gracie. And as a special treat for knocking my husband around... 258 00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:54,524 ...I have a little surprise for you. I think you know these people. 259 00:19:54,703 --> 00:20:01,198 Here's Cheryl Frazier, Miss United States, and Stan Fields, host of the pageant. 260 00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:06,340 It's you! 261 00:20:06,848 --> 00:20:09,941 - I love your lipstick. - You do? Stila made it for me. 262 00:20:10,117 --> 00:20:13,347 - They named it after me. It's called Gracie. - That makes sense. 263 00:20:13,519 --> 00:20:16,351 - You did something to your hair. - Just a couple of highlights. 264 00:20:16,522 --> 00:20:18,183 - A couple? - Okay, okay... 265 00:20:18,357 --> 00:20:21,814 ...Miss I'll-Never-Grow-My-Bangs-Out- Because-It'll-Make-My-Face-Too-Long. 266 00:20:22,060 --> 00:20:24,789 I feel we should all be sitting under dryers. 267 00:20:24,962 --> 00:20:27,430 That's what happens when best friends get together. 268 00:20:28,165 --> 00:20:31,099 Wish we could have invited my best friend, Roger Coleman... 269 00:20:31,268 --> 00:20:34,202 ...but he got hit by a Goodwill truck last week. 270 00:20:34,737 --> 00:20:36,364 Really? 271 00:20:39,375 --> 00:20:42,865 Don't we have a commercial coming up? Please. 272 00:20:43,711 --> 00:20:46,475 - It's so good to see you. - It's so good to see you. L... 273 00:20:46,647 --> 00:20:49,206 Gracie, I'm sorry to interrupt. We have another taping. 274 00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:51,873 Oh, Cheryl, Joel Myers, my stylist. 275 00:20:52,052 --> 00:20:56,044 Miss United States, such a joy to meet you. This is my hair assistant, Janine. 276 00:20:56,221 --> 00:20:58,451 - A pleasure. - And on makeup and bass guitar, Pam. 277 00:20:58,624 --> 00:21:01,354 - Your Majesty. - And you're having a bad crown day. 278 00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:03,824 Excuse me, private conversation in progress. 279 00:21:04,262 --> 00:21:06,456 - Ticktock. - Okay. 280 00:21:07,665 --> 00:21:09,427 I'm sorry I haven't called in a while. 281 00:21:09,599 --> 00:21:13,228 Don't apologize. We'll have plenty of time to talk once I'm de-queened. 282 00:21:13,403 --> 00:21:18,065 - Oh, that sounds painful. - Oh, I really miss you. 283 00:21:18,239 --> 00:21:20,207 - And Eric. - Oh, well... 284 00:21:20,376 --> 00:21:22,741 ...actually Eric and I aren't Eric and I anymore. 285 00:21:22,911 --> 00:21:27,712 - What? Since when? - Oh, just 10 months. 286 00:21:27,882 --> 00:21:30,849 - Ten months? - Yeah, I didn't wanna bother you. 287 00:21:31,018 --> 00:21:34,885 You're busy, I'm busy. I didn't wanna call and say, "We broke up. " It's no big deal. 288 00:21:35,054 --> 00:21:37,988 Miss Hart? My daughter would love your John Hancock. 289 00:21:38,157 --> 00:21:39,317 - What's her name? - Lauren. 290 00:21:39,492 --> 00:21:40,549 Lauren. 291 00:21:40,826 --> 00:21:42,726 So, what happened? 292 00:21:42,894 --> 00:21:47,058 Oh, I just had to end it because he was getting, you know, really clingy. 293 00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:51,890 Yeah, but I'm fine. I'm good. I'm great. 294 00:21:52,068 --> 00:21:54,867 We need to get to Live at 5 for a wrestling demonstration... 295 00:21:55,038 --> 00:21:58,029 ...then there's a cocktail party at your publisher's apartment. 296 00:21:58,207 --> 00:22:00,141 I could go for a little tanning time. 297 00:22:00,310 --> 00:22:03,471 You're gonna go for a little unemployment time in about two seconds. 298 00:22:03,644 --> 00:22:06,169 Could you be a sweetheart and get me a Starbucks? 299 00:22:06,347 --> 00:22:09,077 I am dying for an iced Venti Caramel Macchiato. 300 00:22:09,250 --> 00:22:10,910 Get yourself a little something too. 301 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:16,454 Let me tell you when I'm gonna get you an iced Venti Caramel Macchiato. 302 00:22:16,623 --> 00:22:21,457 When they elect a black woman president of the Daughters of the American Revolution. 303 00:22:21,961 --> 00:22:25,396 Okay. And if that happens, I'd also like one of those little muffins. 304 00:22:26,464 --> 00:22:28,398 Where would you like it? 305 00:22:29,032 --> 00:22:33,628 Fuller, I'm sensing a little subtle hostility, and I think we should talk about it. 306 00:22:34,238 --> 00:22:36,536 Fuller, you shouldn't keep things bottled up. 307 00:22:36,706 --> 00:22:41,142 - Fuller! What is your problem? - The problem is, I don't like you. 308 00:22:41,310 --> 00:22:44,506 Why don't you quit. I let you have this job as a favor to McDonald... 309 00:22:44,679 --> 00:22:47,738 ...because no one outside of the canine unit would work with you... 310 00:22:47,915 --> 00:22:51,476 ...because of your little attitude problem. - You know what? I'm out of here. 311 00:22:51,652 --> 00:22:54,212 Wait. Are you still going to Starbucks? 312 00:23:08,332 --> 00:23:09,924 Go! 313 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,971 No one beats my little bro! Let's go, let's go, pay up. 314 00:23:21,143 --> 00:23:23,338 Come on, pay up. Come on, who's next? 315 00:23:24,847 --> 00:23:27,542 Let's get the bets on the table because... 316 00:23:30,151 --> 00:23:32,312 - Yeah? - Is he there? 317 00:23:34,321 --> 00:23:36,881 - Yeah, he's here. - Well, has he got my money? 318 00:23:37,257 --> 00:23:38,917 Hold on, I'll ask. 319 00:23:41,794 --> 00:23:46,594 Excuse me, Highlander, you owe Mr. Grant 500 bucks. You got it? 320 00:23:46,765 --> 00:23:48,528 Get lost. 321 00:23:49,234 --> 00:23:51,634 He says he doesn't have it, Mr. Grant. 322 00:23:53,904 --> 00:23:56,031 Okay! Okay! 323 00:23:56,207 --> 00:23:58,573 He seems to have discovered some cash, Mr. Grant. 324 00:23:58,742 --> 00:24:01,938 Good. All right, I got another one for you boys. 325 00:24:02,278 --> 00:24:04,542 Who's the mark? 326 00:24:04,714 --> 00:24:06,943 This is gonna be one for your scrapbook. 327 00:24:08,984 --> 00:24:12,714 - Thank you very much. Your name, please? - Octavia. 328 00:24:12,887 --> 00:24:16,014 I was wondering if you could tell me what skin-care regimen you use. 329 00:24:16,189 --> 00:24:18,419 Well, I like to catch as many felons as possible. 330 00:24:18,592 --> 00:24:23,291 It really gets the heart pumping, and the increased circulation helps my complexion. 331 00:24:23,463 --> 00:24:25,623 - There you go. Thank you very much. - Thank you. 332 00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:27,390 - Hey. - Hey. Your name, please? 333 00:24:27,566 --> 00:24:29,965 - Priscilla. - Priscilla. 334 00:24:30,134 --> 00:24:31,829 I have to do a book report. 335 00:24:32,003 --> 00:24:34,972 And I wanna do it on your book because I wanna be an agent too. 336 00:24:35,138 --> 00:24:38,039 Oh, well, good for you. Thank you, Priscilla. 337 00:24:38,208 --> 00:24:40,300 - Hi. Your name is? - Angela. 338 00:24:40,476 --> 00:24:44,105 The other kids are doing their report on Beyonc� or Britney... 339 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:48,215 ...but if you come to my school and talk, they'd see why being an agent is so cool... 340 00:24:48,383 --> 00:24:50,977 ...and stop getting on me. - I would really love to... 341 00:24:51,152 --> 00:24:54,052 ...but as you can see, the agency's got me pretty busy. 342 00:24:54,222 --> 00:24:55,449 There you go. Thank you. 343 00:24:55,623 --> 00:24:59,820 What you could do is pull your hair up once in a while. It would open up your face... 344 00:24:59,993 --> 00:25:04,430 ...because remember, people care about people who care about themselves. 345 00:25:05,064 --> 00:25:06,758 - Okay. - Hi. Your name is? 346 00:25:06,932 --> 00:25:08,160 - Jason. - Jason. 347 00:25:08,333 --> 00:25:12,928 If you change your mind, it's P.S. 31, Priscilla, Miss Gordan's class. 348 00:25:13,104 --> 00:25:15,335 Got it. Thank you very much. Your name, please? 349 00:25:15,506 --> 00:25:16,904 - James. - Wait! 350 00:25:17,074 --> 00:25:18,870 You're not writing it down! 351 00:25:19,042 --> 00:25:21,875 Bureau training. I can retain enormous amounts of information. 352 00:25:22,045 --> 00:25:25,980 P.S. 31, Priscilla, Miss Gordan's class. See? 353 00:25:27,016 --> 00:25:30,349 And don't forget the hair tip. Try some bows. 354 00:25:34,055 --> 00:25:36,285 - There you go. Thank you. - Nice to meet you. 355 00:25:36,457 --> 00:25:39,551 And sorry to hear what happened to Miss United States. 356 00:25:42,829 --> 00:25:44,489 What happened? 357 00:25:44,664 --> 00:25:48,600 Cheryl Frazier was last seen outside this Las Vegas senior-citizen home... 358 00:25:48,768 --> 00:25:51,635 ...accompanied by longtime pageant host, Stan Fields. 359 00:25:51,803 --> 00:25:54,465 The two were walking to a limo after a goodwill mission... 360 00:25:54,639 --> 00:25:56,231 ...visiting the residents here. 361 00:25:56,408 --> 00:26:00,537 Apparently, Miss United States and emcee Fields were forced into a truck... 362 00:26:00,711 --> 00:26:03,508 Are they hurt? Are they alive? What demands have been made? 363 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:06,615 That's all we know. You'll find out more when you get to Vegas. 364 00:26:06,782 --> 00:26:09,148 The director wants you to handle publicity on this. 365 00:26:09,318 --> 00:26:11,445 Public sees you on TV, they'll feel reassured. 366 00:26:11,620 --> 00:26:13,383 Absolutely, whatever I can do to help. 367 00:26:13,555 --> 00:26:16,649 Get your beauty team assembled immediately. The jet leaves at 0800. 368 00:26:16,825 --> 00:26:20,225 I want you to have a bodyguard out of New York. They're strapped in Vegas. 369 00:26:20,394 --> 00:26:23,090 - Sir, why do I need a bodyguard? - Crowd control. 370 00:26:23,264 --> 00:26:26,027 You're gonna be the hottest celebrity in Vegas. 371 00:26:26,199 --> 00:26:30,329 - Assuming Wayne Newton isn't in town. - Oh, of course, sir. "Danke Schoen. " 372 00:26:35,907 --> 00:26:39,399 Fuller! I want you on a plane to Vegas with Hart. 373 00:26:39,577 --> 00:26:42,443 She's gonna do publicity on the Cheryl Frazier kidnapping. 374 00:26:42,980 --> 00:26:44,413 Not going. 375 00:26:46,783 --> 00:26:49,945 - Did you just refuse an order? - I can't take her, sir. 376 00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,451 I'll kill her. And I'll enjoy it. 377 00:26:52,622 --> 00:26:55,318 Fuller, you are this close to being gone. 378 00:26:55,557 --> 00:26:58,321 Nobody wants to work with you in Chicago or here. 379 00:26:58,493 --> 00:27:00,517 That's fine by me. I like to work alone. 380 00:27:00,694 --> 00:27:04,925 Then become a lighthouse keeper. This is the FBI. We like partners. 381 00:27:05,098 --> 00:27:07,396 She's a pain in the ass. She's conceited and... 382 00:27:07,567 --> 00:27:12,004 Keep people off her. Keep her safe. You be a good bodyguard, I'll find you a partner. 383 00:27:12,171 --> 00:27:16,231 You blow this, you're gone. Period. 384 00:27:16,807 --> 00:27:19,401 And by the way, I loved you both on Regis. 385 00:27:47,034 --> 00:27:48,261 - Grant. - Boys. 386 00:27:48,434 --> 00:27:49,662 Mr. Grant. 387 00:27:49,835 --> 00:27:51,496 Let's see what you got for me. 388 00:27:51,671 --> 00:27:55,697 - Stan Fields and... - Miss United States. 389 00:27:56,241 --> 00:27:59,540 You know what the pageant will pay to get her back? Millions. 390 00:27:59,711 --> 00:28:02,941 - So you're saying we hold her for ransom? - No. 391 00:28:03,113 --> 00:28:06,207 I hold her for ransom, and you get a taste. 392 00:28:06,383 --> 00:28:08,509 Bring her to my car. 393 00:28:11,087 --> 00:28:13,715 I'm a little bit hungry. 394 00:28:14,090 --> 00:28:16,319 Hey! We grabbed her. 395 00:28:16,491 --> 00:28:19,927 Moron, you can't handle this job. The feds will come right down on you. 396 00:28:20,094 --> 00:28:24,724 Don't call me a moron. I got a BA in Fine Arts, and my brother... 397 00:28:25,566 --> 00:28:28,398 - Don't call me a moron. - You were unemployed when I found you. 398 00:28:28,568 --> 00:28:30,934 You couldn't keep a job on the show in the Strip. 399 00:28:31,103 --> 00:28:33,629 I made that show! It was my concept. 400 00:28:33,807 --> 00:28:37,606 Then suddenly they change it and tell me and Lou we're not up to their standards. 401 00:28:37,776 --> 00:28:39,004 You work for me now. 402 00:28:41,346 --> 00:28:43,142 - Lou. - I'm there. 403 00:28:55,458 --> 00:28:57,015 Bring me back up! 404 00:28:58,327 --> 00:29:03,593 She's yours! She's all yours! Let me up! Let me up. 405 00:29:04,431 --> 00:29:07,559 Just let me up. Oh, God, let me up. 406 00:29:08,669 --> 00:29:11,193 Next time, he lets go. 407 00:29:12,038 --> 00:29:13,699 You guys are crazy! 408 00:29:20,879 --> 00:29:22,437 Now what? 409 00:29:22,614 --> 00:29:25,606 Now we do exactly what he said. We ransom her. 410 00:29:42,631 --> 00:29:44,996 Please be careful. My guns are in that Fendi. 411 00:29:46,099 --> 00:29:49,193 Thank you. Thank you. 412 00:29:57,943 --> 00:30:00,707 Please tell me you have tickets to see Cirque du Soleil. 413 00:30:01,646 --> 00:30:04,012 - I'm your bodyguard. - What? 414 00:30:04,182 --> 00:30:07,879 McDonald thinks we have a bond because of our performance on Regis... 415 00:30:08,052 --> 00:30:11,851 ...and TRL, Oprah, the Food Network. 416 00:30:12,022 --> 00:30:16,890 Oh, hey, hey, we got some great recipes from that one. The lemon chicken? Tangy. 417 00:30:17,527 --> 00:30:22,759 Now, look, like all great teams, Hope and Crosby, Fred and Ginger... 418 00:30:22,931 --> 00:30:24,523 ...Outkast... 419 00:30:24,699 --> 00:30:26,496 ...the end must come... 420 00:30:26,667 --> 00:30:28,862 ...so bye-bye. 421 00:30:32,105 --> 00:30:36,700 Let me make this simple for you, Hart. McDonald gave me a mission... 422 00:30:37,210 --> 00:30:41,669 ...so that plane does not take off unless we're both on it. Got it? 423 00:30:43,048 --> 00:30:44,948 You might consider a Tic Tac. 424 00:31:21,948 --> 00:31:23,415 Please... 425 00:31:23,582 --> 00:31:26,380 ...we're trying to cooperate. 426 00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:29,348 - Shut your mouth. - You can't talk to her like that. 427 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:32,216 - You trying to tell me what to do? - No, I'm just the emcee. 428 00:31:32,389 --> 00:31:36,052 I've heard you sing. Lucky I don't shoot you now. 429 00:31:36,227 --> 00:31:38,626 Okay, let's line this up. 430 00:31:41,965 --> 00:31:44,831 - And... - I don't have my crown. 431 00:31:45,934 --> 00:31:47,696 - Who cares? - I care. 432 00:31:47,869 --> 00:31:49,166 - Fine. - Thousands of women... 433 00:31:49,337 --> 00:31:51,601 ...all across America care. - Give her the crown. 434 00:31:51,771 --> 00:31:56,208 When in public, Miss United States always proudly wears her crown. 435 00:31:56,376 --> 00:31:58,105 Okay? 436 00:31:58,611 --> 00:32:00,806 All right, let's go again. 437 00:32:01,214 --> 00:32:05,649 One, two, action. 438 00:32:05,818 --> 00:32:08,786 We've been kidnapped, and there's two men here... 439 00:32:08,953 --> 00:32:12,285 ...who say they're gonna kill us by Friday at midnight. 440 00:32:12,457 --> 00:32:14,583 But I don't want anyone to pay them any money. 441 00:32:14,758 --> 00:32:17,693 - Cut! - That would be giving in to terrorism... 442 00:32:17,860 --> 00:32:19,692 ...and I'm Miss United States... 443 00:32:19,863 --> 00:32:23,161 - Cut! ... and I stand for fairness and decency... 444 00:32:23,332 --> 00:32:25,163 ...and the American way! 445 00:32:27,302 --> 00:32:29,099 I said, cut! 446 00:32:32,506 --> 00:32:34,974 I'd be happy to say it if you'd like. 447 00:32:35,142 --> 00:32:37,200 I've done quite a bit of theater. 448 00:32:37,377 --> 00:32:41,473 I played lago in Twelfth Night. 449 00:33:27,085 --> 00:33:29,417 Put two more choppers up. 450 00:33:29,989 --> 00:33:31,319 Sir. 451 00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,821 - Gracie Hart. - Yes. 452 00:33:39,095 --> 00:33:41,825 - I'm Walter Collins. - Sir. 453 00:33:42,365 --> 00:33:44,526 I feel as though I'm in the presence of royalty. 454 00:33:44,701 --> 00:33:47,192 Oh, no, sir, I'm not queen, just runner-up. 455 00:33:47,703 --> 00:33:50,603 I would like to present to you Agent Sam Fuller. 456 00:33:51,073 --> 00:33:52,471 - Fuller. - Sir. 457 00:33:52,641 --> 00:33:57,475 - Joel Myers, Janine and Pam. - Joel, Janine, Pam. 458 00:33:57,644 --> 00:34:01,444 Why don't we get you to the hotel while I give the agents a debriefing. 459 00:34:01,816 --> 00:34:05,546 Oh, that's too bad. It's been months since I've had a good debriefing. 460 00:34:05,719 --> 00:34:09,017 Although, I'm really more of a boxers man. 461 00:34:15,026 --> 00:34:17,391 Okay, wrong audience. 462 00:34:23,032 --> 00:34:26,229 Agent Hart, Agent Fuller, this is Agent Foreman. He's your liaison. 463 00:34:26,402 --> 00:34:28,393 - You need anything, Jeff is your boy. - Good. 464 00:34:28,571 --> 00:34:30,004 Welcome to Las Vegas 465 00:34:30,171 --> 00:34:34,005 When my girlfriend found out that I would be working with you, she almost died. 466 00:34:34,175 --> 00:34:35,699 Yeah, she's an agent too. 467 00:34:35,877 --> 00:34:38,470 She actually thought that I was gonna fall for you. 468 00:34:38,645 --> 00:34:43,377 - I told her... I said, "Janet, there's no way... " - Foreman, we talked about this. 469 00:34:43,549 --> 00:34:48,782 Sorry, sir. Anyway, you're obviously too old for me, so... 470 00:34:49,287 --> 00:34:52,984 Oh, good, well, that's a load off. 471 00:34:54,493 --> 00:34:58,258 Frazier and Fields make an appearance at a senior center for a program... 472 00:34:58,429 --> 00:35:03,024 ...where the elderly spend time with kids. Mr. Fields' mother is there. 473 00:35:03,199 --> 00:35:04,757 I think what you're doing here... 474 00:35:04,934 --> 00:35:09,063 ...shows that different generations have so much to learn from each other. 475 00:35:09,238 --> 00:35:13,004 I mean, I know I learned a lot from my grandmother... 476 00:35:13,175 --> 00:35:16,166 ...specifically, how to kill a chicken. 477 00:35:16,344 --> 00:35:20,337 And even though it wasn't something I enjoyed doing... 478 00:35:20,515 --> 00:35:23,450 ...I'll never forget the sound of their death squawks. 479 00:35:23,617 --> 00:35:27,849 But if I had to kill a chicken, I'd know how. 480 00:35:28,221 --> 00:35:29,653 They finish their appearance. 481 00:35:29,822 --> 00:35:32,450 Head for the limo, where they're attacked and kidnapped. 482 00:35:32,625 --> 00:35:34,889 We got this video from a surveillance camera. 483 00:35:35,827 --> 00:35:40,628 All we have is two hooded figures, the make of the truck and a fake license plate. 484 00:35:40,798 --> 00:35:45,461 We talked to the limo driver, but he says he didn't see anything. And that's it. 485 00:35:45,735 --> 00:35:48,260 These are your briefing folders. 486 00:35:49,305 --> 00:35:53,332 Hart, you have a press conference at your hotel at 0900 tomorrow morning. 487 00:35:53,509 --> 00:35:55,476 - Call me if there's any questions. - Sir? 488 00:35:56,711 --> 00:36:00,168 - We have to find her. - I'll find her. 489 00:36:14,927 --> 00:36:16,656 I know we're on a tight schedule... 490 00:36:16,829 --> 00:36:20,662 ...but if you guys wanna see any shows, just let me know. Janet can get us tickets. 491 00:36:20,832 --> 00:36:23,392 I don't know how she does it, but she does it. 492 00:36:23,834 --> 00:36:28,429 She's really great. Expert marksman. She bakes. 493 00:36:28,604 --> 00:36:32,506 Oh, almost forgot. Here are your coded ID cards. 494 00:36:32,675 --> 00:36:36,906 You're gonna need these to get into the Bureau. And here are your earpieces. 495 00:36:37,078 --> 00:36:38,636 We're... Thanks. 496 00:36:38,813 --> 00:36:42,340 We're gonna be on frequency 1145. 497 00:36:43,318 --> 00:36:46,286 Sorry, that is not FBI issue. 498 00:36:46,452 --> 00:36:49,183 That's a sweater that I bought for Janet for her birthday. 499 00:36:49,356 --> 00:36:54,018 And that's the hat that goes with it. Argyle. She's Scottish. 500 00:36:54,392 --> 00:36:56,690 Janet McCarren. 501 00:36:56,862 --> 00:36:59,490 Look, I'm sorry. I'm just really in love. 502 00:37:00,030 --> 00:37:02,999 Where's the best place for me to throw up? 503 00:37:03,267 --> 00:37:04,996 Well, I am thrilled for you, Jeff. 504 00:37:05,836 --> 00:37:10,067 Because, unlike Agent Fuller, I, too, am carbon-based. 505 00:37:24,519 --> 00:37:26,009 The Venetian Hotel. 506 00:37:32,492 --> 00:37:34,392 Miss Hart! 507 00:37:36,862 --> 00:37:41,093 What a fantastic pleasure. I am Roberto Fenice, manager of the Venetian Hotel. 508 00:37:41,266 --> 00:37:44,962 - Oh, hello. - Your wish is my command. 509 00:37:45,136 --> 00:37:48,764 Oh, well, I wish you wouldn't kiss my watch. It's not water-resistant. 510 00:37:48,939 --> 00:37:52,135 Although it's more action than I've had in months, so go ahead. 511 00:37:52,308 --> 00:37:55,208 - Miss Hart, you are delicious. - Mr. Fenice. 512 00:37:55,378 --> 00:37:57,868 Hi, I'm Agent Foreman. This is Agent Sam Fuller. 513 00:37:58,046 --> 00:38:02,380 - Oh, my gosh! It's Gracie Hart! - You're kidding! 514 00:38:02,551 --> 00:38:03,882 - Where? - Right there! 515 00:38:04,052 --> 00:38:05,643 Gracie! 516 00:38:05,820 --> 00:38:07,787 Gracie! Hey! Grac... 517 00:38:08,422 --> 00:38:09,410 Fuller! 518 00:38:10,591 --> 00:38:12,148 - Oh, my! - Fuller! 519 00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:14,488 All right, down! Down! 520 00:38:14,661 --> 00:38:16,753 Too much, too much, too much. Fuller, Fuller. 521 00:38:16,930 --> 00:38:21,832 Fuller, I don't think you fully understand the concept of "too much"! 522 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:25,628 Hey, McDonald told me to keep people off you. 523 00:38:25,803 --> 00:38:30,398 And I don't think grandpa's coming back. At least, not under his own power. 524 00:38:34,677 --> 00:38:37,703 Maybe we should've stayed at Treasure Island, huh? 525 00:38:39,415 --> 00:38:41,507 - You don't see that in Jersey. - It's the best. 526 00:38:41,683 --> 00:38:44,743 A ships sinks, and there's all these scantily clad sailors around. 527 00:38:44,919 --> 00:38:48,479 - Makes me wanna join the Navy. - Yeah, you are just what they're looking for. 528 00:38:48,655 --> 00:38:51,522 Hey, Hart, you sure this suite is big enough for you? 529 00:38:51,692 --> 00:38:54,684 I can fit my entire room inside your steam shower. 530 00:38:54,860 --> 00:38:56,760 Feel free to move in there. 531 00:38:56,929 --> 00:39:00,159 Yeah, right. Right, let's go over this schedule for tomorrow. 532 00:39:00,332 --> 00:39:01,891 - Gracie? - Yes. 533 00:39:02,068 --> 00:39:04,968 Gracie, there's something about Cheryl on the TV. 534 00:39:07,839 --> 00:39:10,739 We just received what appears to be a ransom video... 535 00:39:10,908 --> 00:39:15,072 ...which was e-mailed to our studios a few hours ago from an anonymous source. 536 00:39:15,245 --> 00:39:18,338 It was sent from an unknown location. 537 00:39:18,513 --> 00:39:22,108 We've been kidnapped. And there's two men here... 538 00:39:22,284 --> 00:39:26,515 ...who say they're going to kill us by Friday at midnight... 539 00:39:26,921 --> 00:39:31,289 ...unless they're paid $5 million by the pageant. 540 00:39:32,092 --> 00:39:36,756 Once again, that's $5 million by Friday at midnight. 541 00:39:36,930 --> 00:39:40,092 I can't just sit here. I have to do something. I should just see... 542 00:39:40,266 --> 00:39:42,962 You should do exactly what you came here to do, Hart. 543 00:39:44,002 --> 00:39:46,436 Press conference at 9. 544 00:40:41,917 --> 00:40:43,509 Limos. 545 00:40:43,919 --> 00:40:46,682 Limos, limos, limos. 546 00:41:06,939 --> 00:41:10,805 - Call for you, sir. Line two. - Thank you. 547 00:41:13,877 --> 00:41:17,506 - Collins. - Yes, sir, hi, this is Gracie Hart. 548 00:41:17,681 --> 00:41:20,615 I was looking at the visuals, and I noticed that the limousine... 549 00:41:20,783 --> 00:41:23,274 - We talked to the limo driver. - I realize that, but... 550 00:41:23,453 --> 00:41:25,920 - We've got something on aerial. - Don't worry about it. 551 00:41:26,089 --> 00:41:28,079 Get some rest. Have a nice press conference. 552 00:41:30,292 --> 00:41:31,759 Okay. 553 00:41:32,828 --> 00:41:34,658 Thank you, Janet. 554 00:41:38,665 --> 00:41:41,133 Yeah, hi, is this Desert Limo Service? 555 00:41:41,301 --> 00:41:43,928 Yeah, I'm trying to locate one of your drivers. 556 00:41:44,103 --> 00:41:45,935 A Mr. Tom Abernathy. 557 00:42:08,257 --> 00:42:12,419 Hi, is Gracie Hart there, please? I have FBI Director Wilson on the line. 558 00:42:12,593 --> 00:42:14,494 We need to speak with her ASAP, please. 559 00:42:15,462 --> 00:42:19,262 Is Gracie Hart here? Gracie Hart? 560 00:42:19,432 --> 00:42:23,562 - Is somebody calling for Gracie Hart? - Yes, ma'am. 561 00:42:23,736 --> 00:42:25,896 I'm Gracie Hart. 562 00:42:26,139 --> 00:42:28,333 - I recognize her! Gracie Hart's here! - Yes? 563 00:42:28,507 --> 00:42:33,705 - It's FBI Director Wilson, ASAP. ASAP. - Director Wilson. Thank you. Hart here. 564 00:42:34,278 --> 00:42:36,610 Yes, sir. Yes, sir. 565 00:42:37,548 --> 00:42:39,276 Yes, sir. I'm on it. 566 00:42:39,549 --> 00:42:42,416 Thank you very much. Okay, sir, bye-bye. 567 00:42:42,585 --> 00:42:44,780 - Would you please sign this? - Oh, sure, I... 568 00:42:44,954 --> 00:42:46,979 My mom loves you. 569 00:42:47,156 --> 00:42:50,148 - And she does not love easily. - I love you too, Gracie. 570 00:42:50,325 --> 00:42:52,258 - You're fabulous. - You've got such great... 571 00:42:52,427 --> 00:42:55,919 Thank you, guys, so much for your support. 572 00:42:56,097 --> 00:43:00,795 I'm here on business to talk to this man about the Miss United States kidnapping. 573 00:43:00,967 --> 00:43:02,491 - Mr. Abernathy? - Yeah? 574 00:43:02,669 --> 00:43:04,500 What did you do? 575 00:43:04,670 --> 00:43:08,697 He was driving the limousine that Cheryl Frazier and Stan Fields were in... 576 00:43:08,874 --> 00:43:10,363 ...the day they were kidnapped. 577 00:43:10,543 --> 00:43:14,137 I wanted to know why you parked so far away from the entrance of the home. 578 00:43:14,312 --> 00:43:16,337 Yeah, why would you do that? Why? 579 00:43:16,514 --> 00:43:19,311 So if I could show you something... 580 00:43:19,483 --> 00:43:25,250 Well, it's not these. It's not my badge. Well, what do you...? 581 00:43:25,988 --> 00:43:28,650 It's my deployment schedule... 582 00:43:28,825 --> 00:43:33,352 ...and if you can look where it says "tomorrow's events. " 583 00:43:33,795 --> 00:43:37,286 - Yeah, go ahead, read aloud. - "Nine a. m. Press conference... 584 00:43:37,465 --> 00:43:41,662 ...at the Venetian"? - Speak up, we cannot hear you! 585 00:43:41,835 --> 00:43:44,497 He said, "9 a. m. Press conference at the Venetian"... 586 00:43:44,671 --> 00:43:47,196 ...where I will be in front of channels two, four... 587 00:43:47,373 --> 00:43:49,272 I mean, well, everybody's invited. 588 00:43:49,442 --> 00:43:52,933 And I will probably have to say that Tom Abernathy is a suspect. 589 00:43:53,111 --> 00:43:55,306 Why are you doing this to me? 590 00:43:55,481 --> 00:43:57,380 Because I wanna find my friends. 591 00:43:57,682 --> 00:44:00,776 And because you are sweating in all three stress spots... 592 00:44:00,952 --> 00:44:05,911 ...that people routinely start sweating in before they undergo public humiliation. 593 00:44:06,423 --> 00:44:08,253 I had it on Letterman. 594 00:44:09,291 --> 00:44:11,759 Okay, everybody, I would love to stay and chat... 595 00:44:11,926 --> 00:44:14,953 ...but I have to go pick out my outfit for the press conference. 596 00:44:15,130 --> 00:44:17,529 - Oh, what time was that again? - Nine! 597 00:44:17,699 --> 00:44:21,031 Thank you. Watch the news, I'll do a little shout out. 598 00:44:21,201 --> 00:44:22,634 Thanks, Gracie. 599 00:44:22,803 --> 00:44:27,569 Hey! Hey! Hold up! Hold up. Wait. 600 00:44:29,242 --> 00:44:34,110 Okay. Somebody came up to me the day before. 601 00:44:34,279 --> 00:44:38,612 She offers me 200 bucks if I will park far away from the entrance at the home... 602 00:44:38,782 --> 00:44:43,048 ...and that's it. That's all I know, I swear. - She? What did she look like? 603 00:44:48,858 --> 00:44:51,827 - Oh, Miss Hart, would you mind? - Oh, I'm actually in a hurry. 604 00:44:51,994 --> 00:44:54,656 - Is it true you're seeing Prince William? - Oh, I'm... 605 00:44:54,830 --> 00:44:58,731 No, we were just talking at a book party. He's in love with me, but I hate castles. 606 00:44:59,267 --> 00:45:03,726 - Sorry, sorry, sorry. Hey. - Let me explain something to you. 607 00:45:03,905 --> 00:45:07,237 You didn't do what was on the schedule, and I'm a schedule-type person. 608 00:45:07,407 --> 00:45:09,272 You missed the press conference. 609 00:45:09,441 --> 00:45:12,410 I went to the Bureau because I got a tip from the limo driver... 610 00:45:12,578 --> 00:45:15,172 ...who said that somebody who looked like Dolly Parton... 611 00:45:15,347 --> 00:45:17,746 ...paid him not to park in front of the senior home. 612 00:45:17,916 --> 00:45:19,816 - Did you hear what you just said? - Yeah. 613 00:45:19,984 --> 00:45:22,316 And why did you go out without clearing it with me? 614 00:45:22,487 --> 00:45:25,080 Clearing it with you? 615 00:45:25,455 --> 00:45:27,389 Hey, I'll bet no one's had breakfast... 616 00:45:27,558 --> 00:45:30,856 I'm sorry, but I don't work for you. Okay? You work for me, so... 617 00:45:31,027 --> 00:45:35,156 - No, you didn't just say I work for you. - You work for me. 618 00:45:35,797 --> 00:45:37,321 - You work for me. - Shut up. 619 00:45:37,499 --> 00:45:38,830 - You work for me. - Shut up. 620 00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,763 Fuller, I don't have the time for this, okay? 621 00:45:41,936 --> 00:45:44,029 Listen, why don't we just get something... 622 00:45:44,204 --> 00:45:46,968 Okay, look. I am the face of the Bureau. 623 00:45:47,140 --> 00:45:51,702 You are here to help me be the face of the Bureau, which means that you work for me. 624 00:45:51,878 --> 00:45:53,105 It's no big... 625 00:45:56,114 --> 00:46:00,710 Look, Hart, I am your bodyguard. That means I need a body to guard! 626 00:46:01,118 --> 00:46:05,646 You hit me, which means I could bring you up on charges. 627 00:46:05,823 --> 00:46:09,952 If I could just bring myself up right now. 628 00:46:10,393 --> 00:46:14,557 Okay, look, I don't work for you. You don't work for me. 629 00:46:14,731 --> 00:46:19,860 We're a team. Get it? As in "I will kick your sorry ass if you don't listen to me" team. 630 00:46:20,034 --> 00:46:22,298 If you remember correctly, it was "skinny ass. " 631 00:46:22,470 --> 00:46:25,734 And, second of all, what is your problem, Fuller? 632 00:46:26,073 --> 00:46:30,702 Do you honestly feel it's okay to go around harassing people and bashing their faces in? 633 00:46:30,876 --> 00:46:33,470 Guess what. You will never make it in this Bureau... 634 00:46:33,646 --> 00:46:36,671 ...if you don't start using your head. You just use... 635 00:46:37,816 --> 00:46:40,080 What, you start listening to me now? 636 00:46:42,354 --> 00:46:44,914 Stop it! Stop! Stop! 637 00:46:45,522 --> 00:46:46,750 All right. 638 00:46:46,924 --> 00:46:52,555 Fuller, violence is not the answer to our problems, all right? It's not. 639 00:46:52,729 --> 00:46:55,788 And I'm not just saying that because I'm "scared" of you. Okay? 640 00:46:55,964 --> 00:46:58,524 Because I'm... What is that?! 641 00:47:03,271 --> 00:47:06,671 I am calling McDonald. Where's Joel? I can't go into public like this. 642 00:47:06,841 --> 00:47:08,536 Hey, how are you? Joel! 643 00:47:08,709 --> 00:47:11,268 - Hello. - You knocked my highlights off. 644 00:47:11,444 --> 00:47:12,843 - What happened? - Look! 645 00:47:13,013 --> 00:47:15,037 - This will take an hour. - Tell me about it. 646 00:47:15,214 --> 00:47:16,476 - Misting. - Ladies. 647 00:47:16,650 --> 00:47:20,278 I really think we should call the networks and set up another press conference. 648 00:47:20,452 --> 00:47:22,976 You know what? You're absolutely right. Okay. 649 00:47:23,154 --> 00:47:27,715 I'm gonna go back up to the room. I'm gonna get a little spritz, a little refresh... 650 00:47:31,261 --> 00:47:35,287 It's her. It's her. Hold this. 651 00:47:36,266 --> 00:47:39,393 - We are not questioning Dolly. - It's not the real Dolly, so relax. 652 00:47:39,568 --> 00:47:41,728 I know it's not. Stay away from her. 653 00:47:41,903 --> 00:47:43,871 Okay, I'm an adult. I can act as I please. 654 00:47:44,039 --> 00:47:46,871 - You leave Dolly alone! - Get your hands off me! 655 00:47:47,041 --> 00:47:51,273 Thank you very much. Excuse me, fake Dolly! 656 00:47:51,445 --> 00:47:53,537 Hi. Hello. FBI here. 657 00:47:53,714 --> 00:47:57,376 Yeah, I just would love to have a few words with you if I could. 658 00:47:57,550 --> 00:47:59,142 - Hi, how are you? - How you doing? 659 00:47:59,318 --> 00:48:03,617 Yeah, thank you for your support. Yeah. Get off me, you stalker! Get off me! 660 00:48:04,289 --> 00:48:05,722 Fake Dolly! 661 00:48:05,890 --> 00:48:07,551 Where are you going? 662 00:48:10,127 --> 00:48:11,354 Hart! 663 00:48:13,496 --> 00:48:14,793 - Fake Dolly! - Gracie! 664 00:48:14,964 --> 00:48:16,295 - Stop! - Hart, stop! 665 00:48:17,767 --> 00:48:19,132 Dolly Parton! 666 00:48:19,301 --> 00:48:23,101 What is it about this outfit that is making everyone so uncooperative? 667 00:48:23,272 --> 00:48:24,568 Gracie Hart! 668 00:48:28,309 --> 00:48:31,471 Blondie! No pictures. Hold on. 669 00:48:31,645 --> 00:48:33,011 Excuse me. I need for you to... 670 00:48:34,448 --> 00:48:37,110 - Open! Just... - Watch it! 671 00:48:37,817 --> 00:48:40,684 - Someone stop that fake Dolly! - Hart, stop! 672 00:48:42,687 --> 00:48:43,984 Stop her! 673 00:48:44,423 --> 00:48:45,650 Excuse me. Excuse me. 674 00:48:49,461 --> 00:48:52,520 Please don't make me do something that's not ladylike. 675 00:48:58,267 --> 00:49:01,100 Okay, FBI. I have just a few questions for you. 676 00:49:01,270 --> 00:49:04,830 Me first! What is the matter with you? 677 00:49:05,006 --> 00:49:06,940 Miss Hart! What are you doing? 678 00:49:07,108 --> 00:49:10,510 Miss Parton is here for a press conference to announce her new world tour. 679 00:49:10,678 --> 00:49:13,306 There is no world tour, and this is not Dolly Parton. 680 00:49:13,481 --> 00:49:16,313 Okay, look. Look, these are absolutely... 681 00:49:16,483 --> 00:49:19,919 What are you...? What is she doing? That hurts! 682 00:49:20,553 --> 00:49:24,386 - Why did you run? - Some crazy woman was chasing me! 683 00:49:25,124 --> 00:49:29,150 Excuse me, excuse me. Miss Parton, "Here You Come Again" was my wedding song. 684 00:49:29,327 --> 00:49:31,887 - I just love you. - Honey, let's leave Miss Parton alone. 685 00:49:32,063 --> 00:49:34,860 I love that song too. That was an amazing song! 686 00:49:35,031 --> 00:49:37,158 Why are you on top of me? 687 00:49:38,668 --> 00:49:41,295 I'm just a big fan. 688 00:49:42,038 --> 00:49:44,231 It's also on CNN... 689 00:49:44,405 --> 00:49:46,806 ...MSNBC... 690 00:49:47,142 --> 00:49:49,269 ...and Al Jazeera. 691 00:49:49,444 --> 00:49:53,504 - I was trying to question her regarding... - You really think you're something special. 692 00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:56,512 I have got 75 people working on this case day and night... 693 00:49:56,683 --> 00:49:59,583 ...and they don't stack up to you, do they? - The limo driver... 694 00:49:59,752 --> 00:50:02,846 I want you off this case. 695 00:50:03,222 --> 00:50:08,659 Well, I am sorry, sir, but you don't have the authority to kick me off this case. 696 00:50:10,494 --> 00:50:14,954 I could call the director, who happens to be a close, personal friend. 697 00:50:15,132 --> 00:50:20,865 Or I could even call the president, who invited me to dinner at his house. 698 00:50:21,237 --> 00:50:26,071 And I think we know which house I'm talking about, don't we? It's white. 699 00:50:26,241 --> 00:50:27,799 Actually, it's eggshell, if you... 700 00:50:27,976 --> 00:50:32,435 I am the SAC in Las Vegas. I have authority over my territory. 701 00:50:32,613 --> 00:50:35,514 And when the director sees you on national television... 702 00:50:35,682 --> 00:50:39,516 ...nose-tackling his favorite country-western singer, he will back me up. 703 00:50:39,852 --> 00:50:43,288 Now, I want the two of you on a jet back to New York today. 704 00:50:43,456 --> 00:50:47,050 Do you think you can handle that tiny, little task, Foreman? 705 00:50:47,359 --> 00:50:48,586 Of course, sir. 706 00:50:53,965 --> 00:50:56,990 Okay. I got you the last three seats on the flight. 707 00:50:57,167 --> 00:50:59,567 Janine, Pam, you have to take the next one. Sorry. 708 00:50:59,937 --> 00:51:02,804 - Because we're just hair and makeup? - We could go to the bar. 709 00:51:02,973 --> 00:51:05,439 For five hours? 710 00:51:05,608 --> 00:51:07,098 Okay. 711 00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:15,371 The director's gonna call me back any minute. 712 00:51:15,549 --> 00:51:16,880 Good. And when he does... 713 00:51:17,052 --> 00:51:20,452 ...you can let him know that chasing Dolly was all your dumb idea. 714 00:51:20,620 --> 00:51:23,817 Oh, really? Well, let me ask you something, Chatty Cathy. 715 00:51:23,989 --> 00:51:27,584 What happened to, "Team, yo. You and me in it together"? 716 00:51:27,759 --> 00:51:31,195 Don't do that again. And that was before you ruined my career. 717 00:51:31,363 --> 00:51:32,591 - What? - Yeah. 718 00:51:32,764 --> 00:51:37,029 McDonald said that if I screwed this up, then I'm out of the Bureau. Thanks, Hart. 719 00:51:37,201 --> 00:51:39,532 What are you complaining about? You're not famous. 720 00:51:39,704 --> 00:51:42,228 Nobody knows who you are. You're a private failure. 721 00:51:42,405 --> 00:51:45,931 But you see this? You see this? Everybody knows this. 722 00:51:46,108 --> 00:51:48,508 So if I screw up, I'm failure face. 723 00:51:48,677 --> 00:51:51,474 Well, get your failure face out of my ruined-career face... 724 00:51:51,646 --> 00:51:54,945 ...because right now I'm mad, and I'm pissed off and mad, so... 725 00:51:55,116 --> 00:51:57,277 Oh, okay, hold on. So you're double mad? 726 00:51:57,452 --> 00:52:01,319 Well, if you're double mad, then I am mad, mad, mad. All right? Top that one. 727 00:52:01,487 --> 00:52:03,422 - Back off! - You gotta stop hitting me... 728 00:52:03,590 --> 00:52:05,523 ...because every time you do, it wrinkles! 729 00:52:05,691 --> 00:52:07,659 Ladies, ladies! 730 00:52:07,827 --> 00:52:12,559 Calm down. Sit down. Sit down. I'm gonna separate the two of you. 731 00:52:12,899 --> 00:52:15,263 Mad, mad, mad, mad. Four. 732 00:52:16,301 --> 00:52:17,768 I can still shoot her from here. 733 00:52:17,935 --> 00:52:19,698 You have to lean over me to get to her. 734 00:52:19,870 --> 00:52:23,999 Now, let's calm down and try to focus on the positive. We have our health. 735 00:52:24,173 --> 00:52:27,609 - You'll be getting frequent-flyer miles. - Foreman, what did you just say? 736 00:52:27,943 --> 00:52:30,639 Frequent-flyer miles. It's a great way to get upgrades. 737 00:52:30,812 --> 00:52:32,439 No, you said that she... 738 00:52:35,450 --> 00:52:40,078 You said that she would have to lean over you to get to me. 739 00:52:43,623 --> 00:52:46,592 Look at what the kidnappers are doing. 740 00:52:47,493 --> 00:52:50,690 This guy is leaning over Cheryl to get to Stan. 741 00:52:50,863 --> 00:52:53,923 Why would they do that if they were after Cheryl? 742 00:52:54,199 --> 00:52:57,725 Okay, and look at this. Look at this. They're not even touching her. 743 00:52:57,902 --> 00:53:02,634 No, she's just stuck in there, like a little Cheryl sandwich. She's... She's... 744 00:53:02,806 --> 00:53:07,208 Oh, my God. She is grabbing them. I taught her that wristlock. 745 00:53:07,377 --> 00:53:12,006 - She's not defending herself. She's... - She's defending Stan. 746 00:53:12,180 --> 00:53:16,082 Maybe they weren't after Cheryl. Maybe they were after Stan. 747 00:53:16,952 --> 00:53:18,886 The man can't sing, but is that a crime? 748 00:53:19,054 --> 00:53:21,988 - That's what we're gonna find out. - Hey, look, they're boarding. 749 00:53:22,156 --> 00:53:24,020 - Let it go, Hart. - Oh, Fuller, come on. 750 00:53:24,190 --> 00:53:27,887 Wake up and smell the iced Venti Caramel Macchiato. You know I'm onto something. 751 00:53:28,061 --> 00:53:31,394 - Okay. Tell Collins. - We have issues. He won't listen to me. 752 00:53:31,564 --> 00:53:34,964 - And you think I am? - Yes. Yes, I do. 753 00:53:35,133 --> 00:53:39,762 You know, you don't get your miles unless you're actually on the flight, so come on. 754 00:53:40,338 --> 00:53:42,669 - You're on your own, Hart. - No, I'm not. 755 00:53:42,839 --> 00:53:46,673 Because even though you refuse to dress up or separate those eyebrows... 756 00:53:46,843 --> 00:53:48,902 ...you cannot deny that you have a style. 757 00:53:49,646 --> 00:53:55,276 Gray suit, white shirt, masculine shoes. You are an FBI agent. 758 00:53:55,450 --> 00:53:57,418 And that is all that you have. 759 00:53:57,585 --> 00:54:03,023 And like you said, if you go back there now, you are out of the Bureau. 760 00:54:03,190 --> 00:54:07,422 Now boarding all rows on flight 624 to New York. 761 00:54:09,062 --> 00:54:10,586 Fuller, I am begging you. 762 00:54:11,131 --> 00:54:14,098 Do you have any idea how painful this is for me? 763 00:54:14,266 --> 00:54:17,326 Usually, they give an epidural for this kind of agony. 764 00:54:17,969 --> 00:54:22,997 Fuller, please, just... Just, please. 765 00:54:27,444 --> 00:54:29,638 Hart, you better be right, or I swear... 766 00:54:29,812 --> 00:54:33,247 You're gonna kick my skinny white ass and break my face. I know. 767 00:54:34,016 --> 00:54:38,783 I already paid for the seats, and I don't get reimbursed unless you're on the flight. 768 00:54:45,359 --> 00:54:48,486 I'm letting you spend the night because I wanna keep my eyes on you. 769 00:54:48,661 --> 00:54:52,062 - Tomorrow, you guys are on a flight. - Okay, as soon as we go to the home. 770 00:54:52,232 --> 00:54:54,325 - Whose home? - Where Stan Fields' mother lives. 771 00:54:54,501 --> 00:54:57,333 She was the last person to see him. Maybe she knows something. 772 00:54:57,503 --> 00:55:01,598 You're supposed to be in New York. You're famous. Everyone there will recognize you. 773 00:55:01,773 --> 00:55:05,265 Not to worry. Joel will come up with something to make us blend. 774 00:55:05,443 --> 00:55:08,570 - He's a born blender. - I don't believe this. 775 00:55:09,613 --> 00:55:11,877 You guys are lucky that Janet had to work late... 776 00:55:12,049 --> 00:55:15,643 ...because if she was here, she would not put up with any of this. 777 00:55:16,318 --> 00:55:19,617 Now, Janet... Janet runs a tight ship. 778 00:55:22,223 --> 00:55:27,854 I love shopping in Vegas. Where else can you find a 24-hour wiggery? Well, to work. 779 00:55:30,297 --> 00:55:32,389 Hey, hey! That's my room! Hey! 780 00:55:32,832 --> 00:55:33,821 Hey! 781 00:55:42,140 --> 00:55:45,506 - I never would have suspected. - What? 782 00:55:45,676 --> 00:55:48,735 You as a dainty-travel-pillow type. 783 00:55:48,912 --> 00:55:51,472 - It's hypoallergenic. - Oh, really? 784 00:55:51,648 --> 00:55:54,913 - And what are you allergic to? - Besides you? 785 00:55:55,085 --> 00:56:00,147 Shellfish, cats, dogs, any type of animal dander... 786 00:56:00,322 --> 00:56:01,880 ...dairy products, dust... 787 00:56:02,057 --> 00:56:05,514 - You should be in a plastic bubble. - Plastic. 788 00:56:06,227 --> 00:56:09,663 - That explains it. - Explains what? 789 00:56:09,830 --> 00:56:12,697 - Why you're so angry. - I'm not angry, I'm allergic. 790 00:56:12,866 --> 00:56:15,266 All I was saying was that it just, you know... 791 00:56:15,435 --> 00:56:19,369 ...couldn't have been easy being a kid sick like that all the time. 792 00:56:19,971 --> 00:56:26,136 I mean, not being able to have a dog or a cat or ice cream or dust. 793 00:56:27,545 --> 00:56:29,478 It wasn't bad. 794 00:56:29,646 --> 00:56:33,412 - Really? - I got to hang out with my dad a lot. 795 00:56:34,150 --> 00:56:39,712 He was a sportswriter, so we got to watch all the games on TV together... 796 00:56:39,888 --> 00:56:42,221 ...and he taught me how to box. 797 00:56:42,592 --> 00:56:45,184 Taught me how to take care of myself. 798 00:56:49,130 --> 00:56:52,930 Well, I'm sure he was very proud of you. 799 00:56:54,502 --> 00:56:56,230 Was? 800 00:56:59,805 --> 00:57:03,331 Yeah, I read on your file that he died before you became an agent. 801 00:57:03,508 --> 00:57:07,410 - You read my file? - I had to make sure you weren't crazy. 802 00:57:07,879 --> 00:57:12,838 - Yeah. Turns out you can't trust a file. - Yeah, well, I guess you can't. 803 00:57:13,016 --> 00:57:17,419 I thought I would've liked a tough tomboy from Jersey whose mom was an agent. 804 00:57:17,754 --> 00:57:20,722 - You read my file? - Worse. 805 00:57:20,890 --> 00:57:22,118 Your book. 806 00:57:23,492 --> 00:57:25,550 Had to make sure you weren't crazy. 807 00:57:25,727 --> 00:57:29,128 Turns out you can't trust a book. 808 00:57:32,799 --> 00:57:35,233 Yeah, they brought in this writer... 809 00:57:35,702 --> 00:57:39,762 ...who managed to turn the entire story into some fairy tale. 810 00:57:39,939 --> 00:57:42,840 In the first draft, he made it sound like my mother died... 811 00:57:43,009 --> 00:57:47,377 ...single-handedly saving the country, when all it was was just, you know, a... 812 00:57:47,545 --> 00:57:50,537 It was just a drug bust gone bad. 813 00:57:54,518 --> 00:57:55,779 Sorry. 814 00:57:57,520 --> 00:57:59,613 Sorry about your dad. 815 00:58:03,358 --> 00:58:06,292 But I'm mostly sorry you had to read that book. 816 00:58:07,361 --> 00:58:09,761 I like the pictures, though. 817 00:58:10,364 --> 00:58:12,127 Oh, really? 818 00:58:12,300 --> 00:58:16,065 Yeah, especially that one with that guy. What was his name? 819 00:58:16,636 --> 00:58:18,297 Which one? 820 00:58:18,471 --> 00:58:21,962 The agent, the one that was in the pageant with you. 821 00:58:23,943 --> 00:58:25,911 Eric Matthews. 822 00:58:26,145 --> 00:58:28,943 Yeah. He was hot. 823 00:58:30,782 --> 00:58:32,443 I guess. 824 00:58:34,686 --> 00:58:36,312 Night, Hart. 825 00:58:39,289 --> 00:58:41,119 Good night, Fuller. 826 00:58:47,296 --> 00:58:50,822 Foreman, we're in. Approaching target. 827 00:58:57,270 --> 00:59:00,239 Welcome to Prestige Assisted Living. How can I help you? 828 00:59:00,406 --> 00:59:02,704 Hi, I'm Joel Flammenbaum, and this is my mother. 829 00:59:02,875 --> 00:59:07,368 Ida. Ida Flammenbaum. How are you? This is my lovely nurse, Rosie. 830 00:59:07,546 --> 00:59:09,173 - Hello. - She's not very social... 831 00:59:09,348 --> 00:59:13,716 ...but she gives a superb enema if you're feeling a little clogged up. 832 00:59:14,585 --> 00:59:16,678 Are you interested in touring our facilities? 833 00:59:16,854 --> 00:59:19,822 Oh, yes, we are very interested. I can't wait to get rid of her. 834 00:59:19,990 --> 00:59:25,222 Oh, don't you listen to him. He's a mama's boy. Come here, cutie. Let me fix your tie. 835 00:59:25,394 --> 00:59:27,225 - He's such a mama's boy. - Mom, not now. 836 00:59:27,396 --> 00:59:31,195 Now, that is a mama's boy's face. That's a mama's boy's face. 837 00:59:31,633 --> 00:59:34,067 Do you have a euthanasia program? 838 00:59:34,636 --> 00:59:38,469 We just need to fill out some forms. If you'll just give me one minute. 839 00:59:38,872 --> 00:59:40,100 Keep the receptionist busy. 840 00:59:40,274 --> 00:59:43,731 We're gonna ask some questions, assuming we can find anyone that can hear. 841 00:59:43,910 --> 00:59:46,775 Hold my purse. Let's roll, Rosie. 842 00:59:47,513 --> 00:59:51,243 Hello there. I'm Ida Flammenbaum. I am new. 843 00:59:51,416 --> 00:59:53,611 Well, I'm not new. 844 00:59:53,785 --> 00:59:56,150 - And you are? - Buster Harrison. 845 00:59:56,321 --> 01:00:02,224 Oh, Buster. Is it true that Stan Fields' mother is residing here? 846 01:00:02,392 --> 01:00:05,190 Yes, she's right over there. 847 01:00:06,295 --> 01:00:10,391 Carol? This is Ida. She wanted to meet you. 848 01:00:11,766 --> 01:00:17,864 Oh, Buster. Oh, Buster, I'm so sorry. Give Buster one of your famous foot massages. 849 01:00:18,039 --> 01:00:21,907 Hey. While I'm at it, how about one of my famous enemas? 850 01:00:22,075 --> 01:00:24,009 Can you get two of them in a day? 851 01:00:24,176 --> 01:00:27,339 Mrs. Fields, Mrs. Fields. 852 01:00:27,746 --> 01:00:30,112 Sounds like the cookie. It's very funny. 853 01:00:30,282 --> 01:00:32,977 Not after you've heard it for 30 years, Ida. 854 01:00:33,151 --> 01:00:35,381 I'm sure. I just wanted to come over here... 855 01:00:35,553 --> 01:00:39,387 ...and tell you how very sorry I am about the kidnapping. 856 01:00:39,557 --> 01:00:42,922 Oh, yeah, poor, poor Stanley. 857 01:00:43,260 --> 01:00:45,420 But he had it coming. 858 01:00:46,629 --> 01:00:48,096 Really? 859 01:00:48,264 --> 01:00:52,324 Well, from what I hear from everyone, he's such a mensch. 860 01:00:52,500 --> 01:00:57,733 - I mean, who would wanna hurt him? - Well, you know, he loved the sluts. 861 01:01:00,925 --> 01:01:02,405 He loved the sluts? 862 01:01:02,409 --> 01:01:04,907 - The sluts! - The sluts. 863 01:01:05,065 --> 01:01:09,000 - The slut machines. - Slot machines. 864 01:01:09,001 --> 01:01:12,701 When he wasn't doing that pageant, he was here in Vegas, gambling. 865 01:01:12,702 --> 01:01:14,902 I don't know where he gets that from.