1 00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:22,606 Whoo-whoo! 2 00:02:21,774 --> 00:02:23,765 Who is it? 3 00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:28,646 Donovan? 4 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:33,214 Bonnie? Yes? 5 00:02:34,954 --> 00:02:37,218 Donovan? 6 00:02:55,808 --> 00:02:59,505 Yes? Donovan. Is everything all right? 7 00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:02,070 Yeah. The production meeting was put off, so I thought... Who's here? 8 00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:04,082 Here? Mm. 9 00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:06,550 Who owns that piece-of-shit van down there? 10 00:03:06,619 --> 00:03:08,553 Oh... 11 00:03:08,621 --> 00:03:13,115 It's just a guy, you know, going door-to-door selling... pool cleaner. 12 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,855 So why did he lock himself in the den? 13 00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:17,863 Well, he... 14 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,865 Oh, God. 15 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,197 - Remember my friend Ollie? - Ollie Olerud? 16 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:25,567 Short, cretinous wanker? 17 00:03:25,638 --> 00:03:28,038 Ohh. Ollie's in there? 18 00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:31,338 - Yes. - I see. 19 00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:35,881 Well, I'm glad he finally got himself a job. 20 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:39,578 I'd always picked him as some sort of deadbeat, but... happy to be proved wrong. 21 00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:42,644 So, he's selling pool cleaner now, huh? 22 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:46,749 Well, this is the neighborhood for that. Just door-to-door... "Running low on chlorine?" 23 00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:49,727 It's quite a coincidence, him just dropping by... 24 00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,730 and you two knowing each other so well. 25 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:54,562 Donovan, please, let's just all talk... 26 00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:57,967 Donovan? How you doin', man? 27 00:03:58,037 --> 00:04:00,938 Good day, Ollie. I'm great. You? 28 00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:03,908 I... can't complain, man. 29 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,911 Excellent. 30 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,914 Well, let's get right down to it then, shall we? 31 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:13,419 We'll take a couple vacuum hoses. We probably need a new filter right about now, maybe... 32 00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:16,751 Wait a minute, darling. Do we actually have a swimming pool? 33 00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:20,725 Okay, okay, man. Now, let's be reasonable about this, okay? 34 00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:22,761 So, you caught me porkin'... 35 00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,763 havin'relations with your old lady... 36 00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:26,765 Oh, God. 37 00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:30,462 And now we're all feelin' just a little bit embarrassed by the whole thing, so, uh... 38 00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:32,470 What the hey, man. 39 00:04:32,538 --> 00:04:35,996 I mean, I know it's a drag and all, but these things... 40 00:04:36,075 --> 00:04:37,770 Hey! Hey, hey. 41 00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:41,336 Uh, w-we... we... we didn't actually have sex. 42 00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:45,976 I was depressed 'cause I'm impotent. You know? 43 00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:48,612 Unable to achieve an erection. 44 00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:51,316 I have been for over a year now, man, 45 00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:53,655 and I needed someone to talk to. 46 00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:56,627 I mean, think about it, man. Ayear without an erection? 47 00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:59,460 - Leave him alone! 48 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:06,238 - You should've seen this coming, you Australian piece of shit! 49 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,798 That's my Daytime Television Lifetime Achievement Award! 50 00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:12,504 Cheesy bastard! Aaah! 51 00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:15,714 You whore.! 52 00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:20,048 Oh, Christ! 53 00:05:22,288 --> 00:05:24,279 Okay. 54 00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:29,057 All right, you want fun and games? All right. 55 00:05:29,128 --> 00:05:32,188 I'll give you fun and games. 56 00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:34,256 Explain this away. 57 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,340 Aaah! Ollie! 58 00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:46,901 That's myJag.! That's myJag.! 59 00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:49,914 That's my bloodyJag! 60 00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:52,450 You bitch! 61 00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:54,850 Bitch! Bitch! 62 00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:57,515 Bye-bye, baby! 63 00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:01,052 Oh, what are you looking at? 64 00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:08,531 Explain this away, darling. 65 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:52,130 Miles Massey's office. Hey, it's me. Any messages? 66 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,189 Yeah, quite a few. Where are you? Just whitening. 67 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:57,361 Jim says he wants a meeting today, if possible. Mm-hmm. What else? 68 00:08:57,436 --> 00:08:59,870 Chapman says his wife is now in Tahoe. 69 00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:01,804 Tell Amstedler I'll return in 20 minutes, 70 00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:05,105 get Wrigley to look up Oliphant v. Oliphant, Commonwealth of Virginia... 71 00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:07,737 for its relevance in the Chapman filing... 72 00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:11,044 Oliphant v. Oliphant, relevance to Chapman... She said she took the kids to Tahoe? 73 00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:13,051 That's right. Wait, which side ofTahoe? 74 00:09:13,119 --> 00:09:15,053 She's on some kind of cruise. 75 00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:18,557 Yeah, well, if the cruise goes all the way around the lake, she's left the state and she's in breach. 76 00:09:18,624 --> 00:09:21,058 Tell Wrigley to prepare a filing to attach. A filing to attach. 77 00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,061 What do you want in it? Everything. 78 00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:26,064 Primary residence, beach house, ski cabin, auto, stocks, bonds, dental floss. 79 00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:28,327 Everything. Uh-huh. Gonna lose ya. 80 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,335 Uh-huh. 81 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,998 That we finally have pictures of his wife with the oral surgeon. 82 00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:38,772 Oh, and get a fruit and pastry basket in the conference room for my 9:30. Didn't have time for breakfast. 83 00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:40,937 Where are you? Comin' at ya. 84 00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:44,678 Your 9:00 is here. Bonnie Donaly. 85 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,412 Bonnie Donaly. 86 00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:56,117 Mrs. Donaly. 87 00:09:57,663 --> 00:10:00,131 Hmm. 88 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:05,536 Mm-hmm. 89 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,039 Hmm. 90 00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:11,941 Yes, your husband did show remarkable foresight in taking those pictures, 91 00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:15,412 and, yes, absent a swimming pool, 92 00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:18,416 the presence of a pool man would appear to be suspicious. 93 00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:21,681 But, madam, who is the real victim here? 94 00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:23,688 Let me suggest to you the following. 95 00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:26,691 Your husband, on a prior occasion, had slapped you... beat you. 96 00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:29,455 I think that word is not inappropriate. No, l... 97 00:10:29,528 --> 00:10:31,462 Let me finish, please. 98 00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,964 I'm not concerned with who slapped whom first. 99 00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:36,467 Your husband, who had beaten you repeatedly... No, he never... 100 00:10:36,535 --> 00:10:39,561 Please... repeatedly, was at the time brandishing your firearm. 101 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,574 - It was his gun. - And we'll get it back for you. 102 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,509 Trying, in his rage, to shoot an acquaintance, 103 00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:47,512 a friend of long standing. 104 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:49,980 They never really cared for each other. 105 00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:51,983 And if not for your cool-headed intervention, 106 00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:54,986 his tantrum might have ended this schmo's life and ruined his own. 107 00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:59,491 As for the sexual indiscretion which he imagined took place, 108 00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:03,255 wasn't it in fact he... who was sleeping with the pool man? 109 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,891 No? Am I going too far here? 110 00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:10,902 Were his sexual... No. I don't... 111 00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:12,904 Sorry. I'm not omniscient. 112 00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:16,066 The point is that he acted upon an assumption which he cannot prove, 113 00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:18,406 and I take it you deny. 114 00:11:18,477 --> 00:11:20,911 - Well... - Fine. I'll take the case. 115 00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:24,279 It's imperative that I meet with Oliver Olerud before we proceed any further... 116 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:28,446 so that I can massage the kinks out of our testimony. 117 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,682 Do you really think we can put all this across? 118 00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:33,953 The truth is so self-evident to me, Mrs. Donaly, 119 00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:38,360 that I'm sure I'll be able to make it equally as transparent to anyjury, 120 00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,365 should your husband decide to take it that far. 121 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:44,130 We'll need to caucus again to draw up a picture of your husband's net worth. 122 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,637 A map of enemy territory, so to speak. 123 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,641 You said he's a television producer? He has a soap opera... The Sands of Time. 124 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,643 It's a silly show. 125 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,645 Well, it'll be yours soon. 126 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,647 Thank you very much. 127 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,047 Thank you, Mr. Massey. Yeah. Bye-bye. 128 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:03,787 Still, you have to admire him for taking those pictures. 129 00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,424 Now, Mrs. Gutman, 130 00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:10,428 you testified that you were your husband's sexual slave... 131 00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:13,431 for 36 years during your marriage. 132 00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:17,595 Except for two years when he was in the navy in Southeast Asia. 133 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:20,605 And before your marriage, what was your profession? 134 00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:23,335 I was a hostess for Braniff Airlines. 135 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,105 And what is your husband's profession? 136 00:12:26,178 --> 00:12:29,477 He manufactures staples and industrial brad tacks. 137 00:12:29,548 --> 00:12:31,482 He's very successful. 138 00:12:31,550 --> 00:12:36,078 How would you describe your husband's sexual proclivities? 139 00:12:36,155 --> 00:12:40,615 Well, at first he was a very gentle and tender lover. 140 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:43,628 But then he became more and more fixated... 141 00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:46,631 on toys and machinery and devices of various kinds. 142 00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:49,634 You don't decide to become bored. 143 00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:52,136 It just happens. You're just looking for trouble. 144 00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:54,138 It's a midlife crisis. 145 00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:56,800 Look, get yourself a new car. 146 00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:58,810 I have a new car. 147 00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:02,336 I have two new cars and a tab at the Mercedes dealership. 148 00:13:02,414 --> 00:13:04,279 Torn the house down twice, 149 00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:06,215 rebuilt the cabin in Vail, 150 00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:09,220 got three of those, uh... yard people... 151 00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:12,314 Gardeners? Gardeners. I've got a man who waxes my jet. 152 00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:14,621 These encounters were videotaped. 153 00:13:14,693 --> 00:13:16,991 Sometimes there would be a gizmo. 154 00:13:17,062 --> 00:13:18,996 A gizmo? 155 00:13:19,064 --> 00:13:21,999 He had a device he called the Intruder. 156 00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:24,900 It was something he had the engineers at the factory design. 157 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:29,066 And then he had a prototype built out of the parts from our vacuum cleaner. 158 00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:30,972 I see. 159 00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:33,978 So the vacuum cleaner wasn't available to me for several months. 160 00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:36,708 Several months without the appliance. Yes! 161 00:13:36,782 --> 00:13:39,717 The problem is, everyone is willing to compromise. 162 00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:43,221 That's the problem with the institution of marriage. It's based on compromise. 163 00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:45,223 Even through its dissolution. 164 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:48,226 Mrs. Gutman here, she's gonna score some points... 165 00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:50,228 concerning her husband's sexual politics. 166 00:13:50,296 --> 00:13:52,230 Naturally, we'll try to impeach. 167 00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:55,233 And then the entire process will find an equilibrium point... 168 00:13:55,301 --> 00:13:57,735 based on the skill of the individual lawyers. 169 00:13:57,803 --> 00:14:01,933 Then both parties will go home with their portion of the staple factory. 170 00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:03,941 That's life. Life is compromise. 171 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:06,068 That's not life. That's death. 172 00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:12,007 Struggle and challenge and ultimate destruction of your opponent... that's life. 173 00:14:12,084 --> 00:14:14,018 Let me ask you something. 174 00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:16,020 Attila the Hun. 175 00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:19,023 Thank you, Mrs. Gutman. Ivan the Terrible. Henry the Eighth. 176 00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:21,559 Mr. Massey, any questions? What do they have in common? 177 00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:26,530 Middle name. No. They didn't just win. They... They... 178 00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:28,533 Mr. Massey? They destroyed... 179 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,626 Mr. Massey, again I ask, 180 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,695 have you any questions for the complainant? 181 00:14:35,307 --> 00:14:38,799 I'm sorry, Your Honor. I was just consulting with an associate. 182 00:14:40,512 --> 00:14:42,446 Now, Mrs. Gutman, 183 00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:45,142 do you know a man named David Gonzalez? 184 00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:50,146 Well, he's the tennis pro at the club. 185 00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:52,588 The tennis pro? 186 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:58,921 Then why are your letters addressed to him, "Dear David and Goliath"? 187 00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:04,926 Whoo! Whoo! 188 00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:22,544 Go, Rexie! 189 00:15:22,621 --> 00:15:26,614 Go, Rexie baby! 190 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,000 Whoo-hoo.! 191 00:15:37,069 --> 00:15:39,367 Whoo! 192 00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:43,535 Rexie! 193 00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:46,834 Cabin seven. 194 00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:51,341 Choo-choo! 195 00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:59,354 Whoo-whoo-whoo! 196 00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:01,359 Choo-choo! 197 00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:18,233 Choo-choo. 198 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,141 Choo-choo! 199 00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:22,544 - Choo-choo. 200 00:16:22,614 --> 00:16:25,845 - Choo-choo. - Choo-choo. 201 00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:28,011 Choo-choo. 202 00:16:28,087 --> 00:16:31,181 - Choo-choo! - Whoo-whoo! 203 00:16:33,258 --> 00:16:36,193 Choo-choo! 204 00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:38,991 Ahh! Oh! Choo! 205 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,767 Yeah! 206 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:46,032 I'm gon' nail yo' ass! 207 00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:48,266 I'm gon' nail yo' ass! 208 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:52,610 Oh, I'm gon' nail yo' ass! Yo' ass! 209 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:55,579 I'm gon' nail yo' ass! Come to papa! 210 00:16:55,647 --> 00:16:59,083 I'm gon'nail ya.! Yeah, I got ya.! 211 00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:02,052 I'm gon'nail yo'ass.! Enough, I say! 212 00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:04,055 Hold it.! I'm gon'nail yo'ass.! 213 00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:06,057 Yeah.! Yeah.! 214 00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:08,719 A silly misunderstanding... Mm-hmm. Someone nailed yo'ass.! 215 00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:12,855 Mm-hmm, yeah, I'm gon' nail yo' ass! I'm gon' nail yo' ass! 216 00:17:12,931 --> 00:17:15,229 I'm gon'nail yo' ass! 217 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:17,564 Yep, I nailed his ass. 218 00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:20,537 I thought he'd outgrown trains. 219 00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:23,200 They never grow up, lady. They just get tubby. 220 00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:26,073 How charming. An aphorist. 221 00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:28,545 Oh, yeah, I've always had ample proportions. 222 00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:31,549 But believe you me, it's all muscle. I'm as hard as a rock. 223 00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:34,780 I'm not one of these cream puff, sit-behind-the-desk private dicks. 224 00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:36,787 I'm an ass-nailer. So I see. 225 00:17:36,855 --> 00:17:39,790 Gym four times a week... hour and a half, plus stretching, 226 00:17:39,858 --> 00:17:42,122 LifeCycle, LifeStep, LifeCircuit. 227 00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:44,128 Gus Petch don't pussyfoot around. 228 00:17:44,196 --> 00:17:49,099 I must say, for someone in your line of work, you don't exhibit a great deal of tact. 229 00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:52,296 You want tact, call a tactician. You want an ass nailed, you call Gus Petch. 230 00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:55,306 Christ, you seem to be taking it pretty good. 231 00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:59,140 I seen 'em come in here, weep and wail like Baptists at a funeral. 232 00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:02,647 Like they hired me to prove their husbands weren't foolin' around. 233 00:18:02,714 --> 00:18:05,410 Don't get me wrong, Mr., um... Petch. 234 00:18:05,484 --> 00:18:07,418 Gus Petch. 235 00:18:07,486 --> 00:18:11,650 Whilst I don't find this terribly amusing, I am delighted that you found this material. 236 00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:16,219 This is going to be my passport to wealth, 237 00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:19,321 independence and freedom. 238 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,130 Sounds like to me you gon' nail his ass. 239 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:34,211 Honey? Honey! 240 00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:37,510 Rex, get away from the door. 241 00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:39,517 Honey? 242 00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:41,519 My key doesn't work. 243 00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:43,521 Can we talk about this? 244 00:18:43,589 --> 00:18:45,523 Rex, get away from the door. 245 00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:48,025 Oh, look, I know that you're upset, honey. 246 00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:51,529 Rex, for your own safety, get away from the door. 247 00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:54,031 I don't like having to set the dogs on you. 248 00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:56,829 Oh, for crying out loud, if we could... Dogs? 249 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,982 Yes, dogs. 250 00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:17,317 I wanted some security since I'll be living here alone. 251 00:19:17,389 --> 00:19:20,722 Look, Marylin, can't we have a civilized discussion about this? Our lawyers can. 252 00:19:22,127 --> 00:19:23,059 - Aaah! 253 00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:28,499 Discovery? Gopnick? And a Lance Kelso called. 254 00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:30,501 He read your article about palimony settlements... Lance Kelso. 255 00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:32,332 In same-sex partnerships... 256 00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:34,338 and would like to schedule an appointment. Same-sex. 257 00:19:34,406 --> 00:19:37,341 Arthur Yardumian and his tax attorney want to reschedule their caucus for tomorrow. 258 00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:40,344 Yardumian? Arthur had to fly to Atlanta for a deadbeat dad hearing. 259 00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:43,074 Atlanta? And your 10:30 is here. Rex Rexroth. 260 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,675 - Rex Rexroth? - Real estate. He's okay. 261 00:19:50,656 --> 00:19:52,590 Mr. Rexroth. 262 00:19:52,658 --> 00:19:54,626 Uh, call me Rex. Please. 263 00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:57,628 Miles Massey. Please sit. Relax. 264 00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:02,793 Consider this office your office, your haven, your war room for the duration of the campaign. 265 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,768 Thank you. 266 00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:06,770 Now, sir... 267 00:20:06,838 --> 00:20:08,772 tell me your troubles. 268 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,705 Well... 269 00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:13,711 my wife has me between a rock and a hard place. 270 00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:15,940 That's her job. You should respect that. 271 00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:19,882 When I first met Marylin, we were crazy about each other. 272 00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:22,887 Not emotionally, of course. Just, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. 273 00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:26,049 But then... 274 00:20:27,492 --> 00:20:29,426 Time marches on. 275 00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:32,054 - Ardor cools. - Yeah. 276 00:20:32,130 --> 00:20:35,964 So, um, we had an understanding. 277 00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:39,003 Whereby? We could see other people. 278 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:43,633 Has Mrs. Rexroth pursued the opportunities implicit in your arrangement? 279 00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:46,007 Uh, I can... I can only assume... 280 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,103 Not in court, you can't. 281 00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:51,206 - Has she retained counsel? - I don't know. 282 00:20:51,283 --> 00:20:54,150 - She has rottweilers. - Not a good sign. 283 00:20:54,219 --> 00:20:58,849 And have you yourself exploited your understood freedom? 284 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,790 There's a lady. 285 00:21:01,860 --> 00:21:03,794 A-Ayoung lady. 286 00:21:03,862 --> 00:21:05,989 She lets me be myself. Of course. 287 00:21:06,064 --> 00:21:10,296 And your wife is aware and/or has evidence? 288 00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:13,304 - Video. - Hah! 289 00:21:13,372 --> 00:21:16,034 To cut to the chase, forensically speaking, 290 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:18,099 is there a prenup? 291 00:21:23,582 --> 00:21:28,019 "The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars, but in ourselves." 292 00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:31,783 Let me ask you this... What kind of a settlement do you seek? 293 00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:35,088 What are, for you, the parameters of the possible? 294 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,094 Well, that's the problem. 295 00:21:37,162 --> 00:21:39,187 I can't afford to give her anything. 296 00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:44,969 Nothing? 297 00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:47,972 Yeah, I know that sounds a little rough, but listen, 298 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,975 I'm about to close a deal to develop some mini-malls. 299 00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:52,977 I'm mortgaged up to my heinie. 300 00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:55,570 If this deal goes south, I am ruined. I will lose millions. 301 00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:58,081 So you propose... 302 00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:01,779 that, in spite of demonstrable infidelity on your part, 303 00:22:01,853 --> 00:22:05,345 your unoffending wife should be tossed out on her ear? 304 00:22:05,424 --> 00:22:09,155 Well, is that possible? 305 00:22:14,366 --> 00:22:15,731 It's a challenge. 306 00:22:16,435 --> 00:22:19,370 Why don't you come out to Malibu and see my new beach house tomorrow. 307 00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:21,872 I didn't know Dmitri had a beach house. 308 00:22:21,940 --> 00:22:24,875 Neither did I until my lawyer found it. Quite a paper trail. 309 00:22:24,943 --> 00:22:26,911 He had it in the dog's name. Oh. 310 00:22:26,978 --> 00:22:29,446 Well, tomorrow won't work. I'm having a body wrap. 311 00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:31,448 How's Wednesday? Hair appointment in the morning. 312 00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:34,041 Afternoon? Shrink. How's your Thursday? 313 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:37,054 I'm having facial injections. That kills Friday and Saturday. 314 00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:39,613 - Botox? - Butt fat. 315 00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:42,251 Does that really work? You tell me. 316 00:22:42,327 --> 00:22:44,795 Hello, darlings. Mwah! 317 00:22:44,863 --> 00:22:46,797 Mwah! 318 00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:49,356 So, you and Rex are... 319 00:22:49,434 --> 00:22:54,030 Well, as my private investigator put it, we're gonna nail his ass. 320 00:22:54,106 --> 00:22:58,406 I've been trying to nail George's ass for years, but he is so careful. 321 00:22:58,477 --> 00:23:02,208 - Oh.! Oh.! 322 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,043 Are you all right, Claire? 323 00:23:04,116 --> 00:23:06,277 Down the wrong pipe. 324 00:23:06,351 --> 00:23:09,286 - So, who's your lawyer? - Freddy Bender. 325 00:23:09,354 --> 00:23:12,790 I have an appointment this afternoon with Rex and his schnauzer. 326 00:23:12,858 --> 00:23:15,292 So, who's Rex's guy? Miles Massey. 327 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:18,420 Miles Massey? Of Massey, Myerson? 328 00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:20,431 Do you know him? By reputation. 329 00:23:20,499 --> 00:23:23,161 And, Marylin, he's no schnauzer. 330 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:26,170 He got Phyllis Rumsey that cute little island of George's. 331 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:29,173 George was so impressed, he hired him when he divorced his second. 332 00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:31,766 - Muriel Rumsey. - Who's she? 333 00:23:31,843 --> 00:23:34,812 Now? Night manager at McDonald's. 334 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:38,941 But, Marylin, do we have a man for you. 335 00:23:39,017 --> 00:23:40,951 Thorstenson Gieselensen. 336 00:23:41,019 --> 00:23:43,579 He just separated from his third. He's in fish. 337 00:23:43,655 --> 00:23:45,589 He is fish. Well, he's tuna. 338 00:23:45,657 --> 00:23:49,024 Ladies, I'm not seeing anyone until I've finished nailing Rex's ass. 339 00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:51,654 But, Marylin, this man is tuna. 340 00:23:51,730 --> 00:23:55,131 Sarah, one husband at a time. 341 00:23:56,668 --> 00:23:58,602 I'll do the talking. 342 00:23:58,670 --> 00:24:03,869 I know you'll be tempted to chime in, but remember that you're in an emotionally vulnerable state. 343 00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:06,206 I'm the professional. Oh. 344 00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:07,643 Okay. 345 00:24:07,712 --> 00:24:10,545 Freddy. 346 00:24:11,550 --> 00:24:14,713 Freddy Bender, this is Rex Rexroth. 347 00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:16,720 And you are the lovely Marylin. 348 00:24:16,788 --> 00:24:18,722 Please, Ms. Rexroth. 349 00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:20,815 And you must be Mr. Massey. 350 00:24:20,892 --> 00:24:22,826 Please, Miles. Sit. 351 00:24:22,894 --> 00:24:25,488 Sit down. 352 00:24:25,564 --> 00:24:29,261 Freddy, I was sorry to hear about the Goldberger award. 353 00:24:29,334 --> 00:24:31,996 - Pastry? 354 00:24:32,070 --> 00:24:34,004 We did very well. 355 00:24:34,072 --> 00:24:36,063 We did very well. 356 00:24:36,141 --> 00:24:39,076 Not to worry, Mrs. Rexroth. You're ably represented. 357 00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:42,136 I'm sure Freddy's just too modest to tell you he used to clerk for Clarence Thomas. 358 00:24:42,214 --> 00:24:44,148 Pastry? Going begging. 359 00:24:44,216 --> 00:24:46,707 Don't try to bait me, Miles. 360 00:24:46,785 --> 00:24:49,219 If you have a proposal to make, let's hear it. 361 00:24:49,287 --> 00:24:52,882 Well, at this point my client is still prepared to consider reconciliation. 362 00:24:54,826 --> 00:24:56,760 My client's ruled that out. 363 00:24:56,828 --> 00:25:00,821 My client is prepared to entertain an amicable dissolution to the marriage without prejudice. 364 00:25:00,899 --> 00:25:02,833 That's a fart in a stiff wind. 365 00:25:02,901 --> 00:25:04,835 My client proposes a 30-day cooling-off period. 366 00:25:04,903 --> 00:25:07,701 My client feels sufficiently dispassionate. 367 00:25:07,772 --> 00:25:11,105 My client asks that you not initiate proceedings pending his setting certain affairs in order. 368 00:25:14,279 --> 00:25:16,213 What's so goddamn funny? 369 00:25:16,281 --> 00:25:18,215 Please, let me handle this. 370 00:25:18,283 --> 00:25:22,344 All right, so much for the ice-breakers. What are you after, Freddy? 371 00:25:22,420 --> 00:25:25,116 My client is prepared to settle for 50 percent of the marital assets. 372 00:25:27,325 --> 00:25:30,726 Why only 50, Freddy? Why not a hundred? 373 00:25:30,795 --> 00:25:33,559 While we're dreaming, why not 150? 374 00:25:33,632 --> 00:25:35,600 - Are you familiar with Kershner? - Kershner does not apply. 375 00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:37,601 Bring this to trial, we'll see if Kershner applies. 376 00:25:37,669 --> 00:25:39,432 What's Kershner? Please, let me handle this. 377 00:25:39,504 --> 00:25:41,904 - Kershner was in Kentucky. - Kershner was in Kentucky? 378 00:25:41,973 --> 00:25:45,739 - Kershner was in Kentucky. - All right, Freddy, forget Kershner. What's your bottom line? 379 00:25:45,810 --> 00:25:47,937 Primary residence, 30 percent of remaining assets. 380 00:25:48,013 --> 00:25:50,811 What, are you nuts? Have you forgotten Kershner? 381 00:25:52,117 --> 00:25:54,711 Freddy, it's a negotiation. 382 00:25:54,786 --> 00:25:56,720 See you at the preliminary. 383 00:25:56,788 --> 00:25:58,881 Freddy, we're all friends here. 384 00:25:58,957 --> 00:26:02,154 It's a negotiation. Hey, uh... 385 00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:04,092 Freddy! 386 00:26:04,162 --> 00:26:07,097 Fine. We'll eat the pastry. 387 00:26:15,907 --> 00:26:17,841 I thought that went well. 388 00:26:20,912 --> 00:26:22,846 Oh, yeah. 389 00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:24,848 Gus, you outdid yourself. 390 00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:26,850 Mm-hmm. Hear, hear. 391 00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:28,852 Mm-hmm, that's cool. Very cool. 392 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,252 Let's go back to the football game.! 393 00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:34,759 Oh, kiss my ass, now. It's halftime, man. This is some good shit. 394 00:26:34,826 --> 00:26:36,760 I'm 'bout to nail his ass right here. 395 00:26:36,828 --> 00:26:39,763 Gussy, go back to the Rabinowitz tape again. 396 00:26:39,831 --> 00:26:43,062 Hold on, now. Here come the good part. She 'bout to take off her panties. 397 00:26:43,134 --> 00:26:46,069 Oh, yeah. Come on, come on, come on. 398 00:26:46,137 --> 00:26:48,071 Gus? Mm-hmm... Yeah? 399 00:26:48,139 --> 00:26:50,573 It's Miles Massey. Uh, take a number. 400 00:26:50,642 --> 00:26:52,576 It's about a job tonight.! 401 00:26:52,644 --> 00:26:54,578 Goddamn it. 402 00:26:54,646 --> 00:26:57,171 Aah! Aah! Did you see that? Oh, come on, man! 403 00:27:11,930 --> 00:27:13,864 Here we are. 404 00:27:15,533 --> 00:27:19,469 Ms. Rexroth, I am so delighted you decided to come. 405 00:27:19,537 --> 00:27:21,471 Well, I must admit I was curious. 406 00:27:21,539 --> 00:27:25,270 Something to start? Some wine, perhaps? 407 00:27:26,878 --> 00:27:28,140 Red? French? 408 00:27:28,213 --> 00:27:29,578 Bordeaux? Chateau Margaux? 409 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,616 '57? '59. 410 00:27:31,683 --> 00:27:33,310 '54. 411 00:27:33,385 --> 00:27:36,149 Mmm, Mr. Massey. Good, sir. 412 00:27:36,221 --> 00:27:40,590 Your husband had told me you were the most beautiful woman that he'd ever met. 413 00:27:41,593 --> 00:27:44,153 I didn't expect the most beautiful woman I'd ever met. 414 00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:49,524 "Dismiss your vows, your feigned tears, your flattery, 415 00:27:49,601 --> 00:27:52,593 for where a heart is hard they make no battery." 416 00:27:55,006 --> 00:27:59,238 "Whoever loved that loved not at first sight?" 417 00:27:59,310 --> 00:28:01,904 Now, you didn't ask me here to pick me up. 418 00:28:01,980 --> 00:28:03,914 You could be disbarred for that. 419 00:28:03,982 --> 00:28:06,348 Maybe I'm reckless. 420 00:28:06,418 --> 00:28:09,285 What was your performance about this afternoon? What did your lawyer say? 421 00:28:09,354 --> 00:28:11,288 Oh, Freddy thinks you're a buffoon. 422 00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:13,916 He says you've been too successful, 423 00:28:13,992 --> 00:28:17,723 you're bored, complacent, and you're on your way down. 424 00:28:17,796 --> 00:28:19,855 But you don't think so. How do you know? 425 00:28:19,931 --> 00:28:21,922 Why would you be here? Why did you ask me? 426 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,467 Can't I be curious? About what? 427 00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:25,469 Do you ever answer questions? Do you? 428 00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:28,472 I'll have the tournedoes of beef. The lady will have the same. Thank you. 429 00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:30,405 Thank you, sir. 430 00:28:30,475 --> 00:28:32,409 I assume you're a carnivore. 431 00:28:32,477 --> 00:28:36,038 Oh, Mr. Massey, you have no idea. 432 00:28:36,114 --> 00:28:38,605 Miles, please. 433 00:28:38,683 --> 00:28:40,617 Tell me more about yourself. 434 00:28:40,685 --> 00:28:43,620 All right, Miles. 435 00:28:43,688 --> 00:28:46,623 Let me tell you everything that you need to know. 436 00:28:46,691 --> 00:28:50,388 You may think you're tough, but I eat men like you for breakfast. 437 00:28:50,462 --> 00:28:53,295 I've invested five good years in my marriage to Rex, 438 00:28:53,364 --> 00:28:56,299 and I've nailed his ass fair and square. 439 00:28:56,367 --> 00:28:58,961 Now I'm going to have it stuffed, mounted... 440 00:28:59,037 --> 00:29:01,904 and have my lady friends come over and throw darts at it. 441 00:29:01,973 --> 00:29:03,463 Man-hater, huh? 442 00:29:04,909 --> 00:29:07,605 People don't go on safaris 'cause they hate animals. 443 00:29:07,679 --> 00:29:10,614 So it's just for the hunt, with the trophy at the end. 444 00:29:10,682 --> 00:29:13,276 No. Nothing so frivolous. 445 00:29:14,886 --> 00:29:17,684 This divorce means money. 446 00:29:17,756 --> 00:29:19,690 Money means independence. 447 00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:22,352 That's what I'm after. 448 00:29:22,427 --> 00:29:24,622 What are you after, Miles? 449 00:29:24,696 --> 00:29:26,630 Well, I'm a lot like you. 450 00:29:26,698 --> 00:29:28,859 Just looking for an ass to mount. 451 00:29:31,469 --> 00:29:33,460 Well, don't look at mine. 452 00:29:44,883 --> 00:29:47,443 Yeah. 453 00:29:50,855 --> 00:29:53,221 Oy vey. 454 00:30:14,045 --> 00:30:17,173 I got ya. See this? 455 00:30:31,896 --> 00:30:33,261 Yeah? 456 00:30:33,331 --> 00:30:37,631 Uh, I'll just have a, um, salad, please. 457 00:30:37,702 --> 00:30:39,932 Um, baby field greens. 458 00:30:40,004 --> 00:30:42,438 What did you call me? 459 00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:46,967 Uh, no, l-l... l-I didn't call you anything. 460 00:30:47,045 --> 00:30:50,378 You want a salad? Yeah. Do you... Do you have a, uh, green salad? 461 00:30:50,448 --> 00:30:52,780 What the fuck color would it be? 462 00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:54,785 Why are we eating here? 463 00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:56,787 What's his problem? 464 00:30:56,855 --> 00:31:01,258 Just bring him an iceberg lettuce and a mealy tomato wedge smothered with French dressing. 465 00:31:02,327 --> 00:31:07,026 - And for you? - Ham sandwich on stale rye bread. Lots of mayo, easy on the ham. 466 00:31:07,098 --> 00:31:09,259 - Slaw cup? - What the hell. 467 00:31:09,334 --> 00:31:11,268 Hello, Marge. How are you, Gus? 468 00:31:11,336 --> 00:31:13,600 I'm all right. 469 00:31:13,671 --> 00:31:17,198 Okay, now, I Minoxed her address book. 470 00:31:17,275 --> 00:31:20,210 Don't call me anymore for this penny-ante shit. 471 00:31:20,278 --> 00:31:22,803 I shoot action. Me and the Ikegami, Jack. 472 00:31:22,881 --> 00:31:24,815 Thank you, Gus. 473 00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:27,317 And those rottweilers were a menace, man. 474 00:31:27,385 --> 00:31:29,319 I told you she had dogs. 475 00:31:29,387 --> 00:31:32,117 Yeah. You ain't tell me they had a hard-on for anus Africanus. 476 00:31:32,190 --> 00:31:35,216 Gus, did you see any evidence, 477 00:31:35,293 --> 00:31:37,227 any telltale signs... 478 00:31:37,295 --> 00:31:40,321 of indiscretion on the part of Mrs. Rexroth? 479 00:31:40,398 --> 00:31:43,333 What are you talkin' 'bout, "telltale signs"? 480 00:31:43,401 --> 00:31:46,336 Look, I see an ass, I nail it. 481 00:31:46,404 --> 00:31:48,497 I don't sneak around sniffin' at sheets. 482 00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:50,507 Goddamn it, I'm Gus Petch! 483 00:31:50,575 --> 00:31:53,009 Couldn't you be disbarred for that? 484 00:31:53,077 --> 00:31:56,012 No, I don't think so. Maybe if I'd had the patty melt. 485 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:59,015 You had a guy break into her house and photograph her address book. 486 00:31:59,083 --> 00:32:01,950 No, Wrigley, I happened to let a man know... 487 00:32:02,020 --> 00:32:04,955 that I was interested in her address book... that's not criminal. 488 00:32:05,023 --> 00:32:07,958 I also happened to let him know that I was taking her out to dinner. 489 00:32:08,026 --> 00:32:09,960 That's not a crime either. 490 00:32:10,028 --> 00:32:12,963 No, I don't see myself as culpable in any sense. 491 00:32:13,031 --> 00:32:15,966 You, on the other hand, could be disbarred... 492 00:32:16,034 --> 00:32:18,969 for developing and examining these photos of her address book, 493 00:32:19,037 --> 00:32:21,972 but that doesn't really concern me. 494 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,974 Right. 495 00:32:24,042 --> 00:32:26,510 Who are you looking for? Tenzing Norgay. 496 00:32:26,577 --> 00:32:28,511 Tenzing Norgay. 497 00:32:28,579 --> 00:32:30,547 That's someone she slept with. 498 00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:35,018 I doubt it. Tenzing Norgay was the Sherpa that helped Edmund Hillary climb Mt. Everest. 499 00:32:35,086 --> 00:32:37,179 And Marylin knows him. 500 00:32:37,255 --> 00:32:40,884 No, you idiot. Not the Tenzing Norgay. Her Tenzing Norgay. 501 00:32:42,393 --> 00:32:44,827 I'm not sure that I actually follow that. 502 00:32:44,896 --> 00:32:47,831 Few great accomplishments are achieved single-handedly, Wrigley. 503 00:32:47,899 --> 00:32:49,833 Most have their Norgays. 504 00:32:49,901 --> 00:32:53,359 Marylin Rexroth is even now climbing her Everest. 505 00:32:53,438 --> 00:32:55,372 I wanna find her Norgay. 506 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,965 But how do you determine which of the people on here are... 507 00:32:58,042 --> 00:33:00,636 How do you spot a Norgay? Yeah. 508 00:33:00,712 --> 00:33:02,543 You start with the people with the funny names. 509 00:33:03,648 --> 00:33:07,084 Oyez, oyez. Family Court of the Fifth District of Los Angeles County now in session. 510 00:33:07,151 --> 00:33:09,676 The Honorable Marva Munson presiding. All rise. 511 00:33:16,728 --> 00:33:19,162 Have you sat before her before? 512 00:33:19,230 --> 00:33:22,461 No. No, the judge sits first. Then we sit. 513 00:33:22,533 --> 00:33:24,467 Well, have you sat after her before? 514 00:33:24,535 --> 00:33:27,698 Sat after her before? You mean, have we argued before her before? 515 00:33:27,772 --> 00:33:31,208 The judge sits in judgment. The counsel argues before the judge. 516 00:33:31,275 --> 00:33:33,573 So, have you argued before her before? 517 00:33:33,644 --> 00:33:36,909 Or before she sat before? 518 00:33:36,981 --> 00:33:39,575 I said, before her before. No, you said before she sat before. 519 00:33:39,650 --> 00:33:41,584 I did at first, but... Look, don't argue. 520 00:33:41,652 --> 00:33:43,586 I'm not. I'm... No, you don't argue. We argue. 521 00:33:43,654 --> 00:33:45,087 Counsel argues. You appear. 522 00:33:45,156 --> 00:33:47,090 Thejudge sits. 523 00:33:47,158 --> 00:33:49,092 - Or you stand in contempt. - And then we argue. 524 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,219 The counsel argues. Which you've done before. 525 00:33:51,295 --> 00:33:53,229 Which we've done before. Ah. 526 00:33:53,297 --> 00:33:55,288 But not before her. 527 00:33:58,936 --> 00:34:00,699 Rex. Sit. 528 00:34:00,772 --> 00:34:03,639 There it is! I got it! 529 00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:06,302 I'm gon' nail yo' ass! Enough, I say! 530 00:34:06,377 --> 00:34:09,312 I'm gon' nail yo' ass! Yeah! 531 00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:12,577 Yeah, I'm gon' nail yo' ass! A silly misunderstanding... 532 00:34:12,650 --> 00:34:14,584 Get that thing off me! 533 00:34:14,652 --> 00:34:16,586 Yeah, I'm gon' nail yo' ass! 534 00:34:16,654 --> 00:34:20,818 I'm gon' nail yo' ass! I'm gon' nail your ass.! 535 00:34:31,302 --> 00:34:33,099 Devastated. 536 00:34:33,171 --> 00:34:35,105 Simply devastated. 537 00:34:36,474 --> 00:34:38,465 Thank you, Mrs. Rexroth. 538 00:34:41,045 --> 00:34:43,536 Mr. Massey, any questions? 539 00:35:13,444 --> 00:35:15,378 "Dismiss your vows, 540 00:35:17,448 --> 00:35:20,349 for where a heart is hard 541 00:35:20,418 --> 00:35:22,886 Mrs. Rexroth, do you know those lines? Objection, Your Honor. 542 00:35:22,954 --> 00:35:26,947 - Grounds? - Uh, poetry recitation. 543 00:35:27,024 --> 00:35:30,152 Let me rephrase. Mrs. Rexroth... 544 00:35:30,228 --> 00:35:33,789 how high is that wall around your heart? 545 00:35:33,865 --> 00:35:35,799 Your Honor, this is harassment, 546 00:35:35,867 --> 00:35:39,394 and, frankly, it's still a little, uh, arty-farty. 547 00:35:39,470 --> 00:35:42,405 - Rephrase. Mrs. Rexroth, have you ever been in love? - Yes. 548 00:35:42,473 --> 00:35:44,464 Of course. 549 00:35:45,476 --> 00:35:47,376 With Rex. 550 00:35:47,445 --> 00:35:50,380 And you've always loved him? 551 00:35:50,448 --> 00:35:53,144 "Whoever loved that loved not at first sight?" 552 00:35:53,217 --> 00:35:54,684 S... 553 00:35:58,789 --> 00:36:02,885 So it's your sworn testimony that you have loved Rex Rexroth... 554 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:04,951 since first you met? 555 00:36:08,065 --> 00:36:10,056 Yes. 556 00:36:11,068 --> 00:36:13,536 Thank you. 557 00:36:13,604 --> 00:36:15,538 No further questions, Your Honor. 558 00:36:15,606 --> 00:36:17,699 Who's next, Mr. Bender? 559 00:36:17,775 --> 00:36:20,335 - We rest, Your Honor. - Mr. Massey. 560 00:36:20,411 --> 00:36:24,347 Your Honor, I call Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy. 561 00:36:24,415 --> 00:36:27,543 Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy. 562 00:36:27,618 --> 00:36:30,712 Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy! 563 00:36:30,788 --> 00:36:33,018 Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy. 564 00:36:33,090 --> 00:36:35,024 Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy.! 565 00:36:35,092 --> 00:36:36,753 Problem? Puffy. 566 00:36:36,827 --> 00:36:40,126 Heinz, the Baron Krauss von Espy.! Tenzing Norgay. 567 00:37:02,186 --> 00:37:05,121 Mr. Krauss, do you solemnly swear that... Krauss von Espy. 568 00:37:05,189 --> 00:37:07,714 Mr. Krauss von Espy, do you solemnly... 569 00:37:07,792 --> 00:37:09,555 Baron Krauss von Espy. 570 00:37:09,627 --> 00:37:12,562 Solemnly swear that the testimony you are about to give shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, 571 00:37:12,630 --> 00:37:14,063 so help you God? 572 00:37:14,131 --> 00:37:16,156 - Mais bien s�r. - No maybes. 573 00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:18,600 Mais bien s�r. But of course, yes. 574 00:37:18,669 --> 00:37:22,400 The baron does not lie. Have a seat, sir. 575 00:37:22,473 --> 00:37:24,407 Did you sleep with him? 576 00:37:24,475 --> 00:37:26,136 Don't be a fool. 577 00:37:26,210 --> 00:37:29,179 Shush, Elsbieta. Shush-shush-shush-shush. 578 00:37:31,249 --> 00:37:33,945 Baron von Espy, what is your profession? 579 00:37:34,018 --> 00:37:36,748 Silly man. I am a baron. 580 00:37:36,821 --> 00:37:39,756 Yes, but do you not also hold a day job? 581 00:37:39,824 --> 00:37:42,349 Paying job. A, uh, a square job. 582 00:37:42,426 --> 00:37:44,360 Well, one has to live. 583 00:37:44,428 --> 00:37:47,363 I am the concierge of Les Pantalons Rouges... 584 00:37:47,431 --> 00:37:50,662 at Bad-Gadesbourg in the canton of Uri. 585 00:37:50,735 --> 00:37:52,600 And what does that job entail? 586 00:37:52,670 --> 00:37:56,436 I satisfy such requests as the clientele may present. 587 00:37:56,507 --> 00:37:59,169 Towels, ice, et cetera? 588 00:37:59,243 --> 00:38:01,108 We have bellmen for that. No, no, no. 589 00:38:01,178 --> 00:38:05,012 Such requests that, were you at home, you would address not to your valet... 590 00:38:05,082 --> 00:38:07,016 but to your majordomo. 591 00:38:07,084 --> 00:38:08,676 Shush, poochy-chow. 592 00:38:08,753 --> 00:38:10,880 I see. Baron, do you recognize that woman? 593 00:38:10,955 --> 00:38:14,391 Ah, cher Marylin. But of course. 594 00:38:14,458 --> 00:38:16,949 Look who is here. Hi! 595 00:38:19,030 --> 00:38:23,057 And she was a guest of the Red... Trousers? 596 00:38:23,134 --> 00:38:25,694 Oh, many times, 597 00:38:25,770 --> 00:38:28,705 for relaxing and making Alpine recreation. 598 00:38:30,608 --> 00:38:33,543 Mm-hmm. I am curious about her visit of five years ago. 599 00:38:33,611 --> 00:38:36,239 January 1998. 600 00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:39,579 Can you remember any specific request she made at that time? 601 00:38:39,650 --> 00:38:44,212 - Yes, I can. - At what, at that time, did she tell you she required? 602 00:38:44,288 --> 00:38:47,257 She said that she required... 603 00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:49,259 a husband! 604 00:38:51,762 --> 00:38:55,254 Do you want some bones? Huh? Does Elsbieta want some bones? 605 00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:57,198 Has anyone any bones? 606 00:38:57,268 --> 00:39:01,068 Does anyone have any bones? B... Uh, bones? Dog candies? 607 00:39:01,138 --> 00:39:05,040 No, they are not candies. Milk-Bones. Hard, crunchy bones for the teeth. 608 00:39:05,109 --> 00:39:07,202 Uh, hard, uh... 609 00:39:07,278 --> 00:39:10,406 We'll attend to the dog later. 610 00:39:10,481 --> 00:39:12,346 Now, Baron... 611 00:39:12,416 --> 00:39:14,543 Where were we? 612 00:39:17,154 --> 00:39:19,588 "She said that she required a husband. 613 00:39:19,657 --> 00:39:21,591 "Oh, do you want some bones? 614 00:39:23,627 --> 00:39:26,027 Has anyone any bones? Hard, crunchy bones for the..." 615 00:39:26,097 --> 00:39:28,031 Right. 616 00:39:28,099 --> 00:39:30,966 Now, a husband. That's an unusual request. 617 00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:33,970 Did she specify what kind of a husband she was looking for? 618 00:39:34,038 --> 00:39:35,972 Stop him. Objection. 619 00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:39,441 - Grounds? - Uh... hearsay. 620 00:39:39,510 --> 00:39:42,809 It's not secondhand, Your Honor. This is direct testimony about the baron's own conversation. 621 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:46,043 - I'm going to allow it. - Yeah. 622 00:39:46,117 --> 00:39:49,348 She said she wanted a very rich husband. 623 00:39:49,420 --> 00:39:54,619 She wanted to know the businesses and the wealths-s... the wealths-s-s... 624 00:39:54,692 --> 00:39:59,959 Can I say this? Wealths of our various eligible guests. 625 00:40:00,030 --> 00:40:02,464 And did she have any other specifications? 626 00:40:02,533 --> 00:40:05,900 - Objection, Your Honor. Inflammatory. - What's good for the gander, Your Honor. 627 00:40:05,970 --> 00:40:09,406 - Is this a legal argument... "What's good for the gander"? - You got to play your tape, Freddy. 628 00:40:09,473 --> 00:40:12,408 Mr. Massey has a point there. I'm going to allow it. 629 00:40:12,476 --> 00:40:14,967 Were there any other specifications? 630 00:40:15,045 --> 00:40:18,071 She "specificated" a silly man. 631 00:40:18,149 --> 00:40:21,016 Objection, Your Honor.! I'm going to allow it. 632 00:40:21,085 --> 00:40:24,851 She "specificated" a man who, though clever at making money, 633 00:40:24,922 --> 00:40:27,015 would be easily duped and controlled. 634 00:40:27,091 --> 00:40:30,026 Objection, Your Honor. Shut up, Freddy. She's allowing it. 635 00:40:30,094 --> 00:40:33,120 She "specificated"a man with a wandering pee-pee. 636 00:40:33,197 --> 00:40:37,691 How you say? Aphilanderer whose affairs would be transparent to the world. 637 00:40:37,768 --> 00:40:39,201 Objection, Your Honor! 638 00:40:39,270 --> 00:40:43,604 Finally, a man whom she could herself brazenly cuckold... 639 00:40:43,674 --> 00:40:46,302 until such time as she might choose to, uh... 640 00:40:46,377 --> 00:40:49,312 We would say, "faire un coup de marteau sur des fesses." 641 00:40:49,380 --> 00:40:51,974 You would say, "make hammer on his fanny." 642 00:40:52,049 --> 00:40:55,280 - Your Honor, Objection.! L-Irrelevant.! - I'm going to allow it! 643 00:40:55,352 --> 00:40:58,879 Tell us, Baron... Did you introduce her to such a man? 644 00:40:58,956 --> 00:41:00,514 Sir, I am the concierge! 645 00:41:00,591 --> 00:41:03,617 And to whom did you introduce that calculating woman? 646 00:41:03,694 --> 00:41:06,060 I introduced her... 647 00:41:06,130 --> 00:41:08,223 to that silly man. 648 00:41:08,299 --> 00:41:09,960 Your Honor, objection.! 649 00:41:10,034 --> 00:41:14,061 Let the record show that the baron has identified Rex Rexroth as the silly man! 650 00:41:14,138 --> 00:41:15,901 I did it.! It was I.! 651 00:41:15,973 --> 00:41:18,703 I introduced her to that silly man! 652 00:41:18,776 --> 00:41:22,507 - You son of a bitch! - The red-faced angry one. I introduced them! 653 00:41:22,580 --> 00:41:25,708 Absolument! I did it.! It was I.! 654 00:41:25,783 --> 00:41:27,717 I just love trains! 655 00:41:27,785 --> 00:41:30,219 I love trains! If you please, sir! 656 00:41:30,287 --> 00:41:33,723 You're the one who's sick.! 657 00:41:33,791 --> 00:41:36,658 If you please... 658 00:41:36,727 --> 00:41:39,195 Not the larynx! 659 00:41:39,263 --> 00:41:41,094 Objection, Your Honor! Strangling the witness! 660 00:41:41,165 --> 00:41:42,996 I'm going to allow it. 661 00:41:46,103 --> 00:41:47,434 Well, I think it stinks. 662 00:41:47,505 --> 00:41:49,439 They left you with nothing. 663 00:41:49,507 --> 00:41:52,442 Makes you wonder about the entire legal system, 664 00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:54,444 like Rodney what's-his-name. 665 00:41:54,512 --> 00:41:56,946 They bought Massey's argument. 666 00:41:57,014 --> 00:41:59,949 If I lied or cheated and was with Rex only for his money, 667 00:42:00,017 --> 00:42:01,882 then he shouldn't have to give me any. 668 00:42:01,952 --> 00:42:05,115 Well, that makes no sense. Why else would you put in all those years? 669 00:42:05,189 --> 00:42:07,123 Oooh! 670 00:42:07,191 --> 00:42:09,625 Are you all right, Sarah? 671 00:42:09,693 --> 00:42:11,627 Yeah. Wh-What is it? 672 00:42:11,695 --> 00:42:13,629 Peptic ulcer. 673 00:42:13,697 --> 00:42:18,760 I have medication, but I can't take it before elective surgery. 674 00:42:18,836 --> 00:42:22,101 You shouldn't be living here alone, Sarah. 675 00:42:22,172 --> 00:42:24,470 My goddamn husbands gave me the ulcer. 676 00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:26,908 But a bottle of Bromo can't love you back. 677 00:42:26,977 --> 00:42:28,911 Yeah. 678 00:42:28,979 --> 00:42:31,209 It's a catch-22. 679 00:42:31,282 --> 00:42:34,445 I have to admit, I don't like living alone. 680 00:42:34,518 --> 00:42:36,452 I mean, do I need 46 rooms? 681 00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:38,715 You could see people. 682 00:42:38,789 --> 00:42:40,723 It's risky. Palimony. 683 00:42:40,791 --> 00:42:43,726 Son of a bitch Marvin Mitchelson. 684 00:42:43,794 --> 00:42:47,491 I'm telling you, honey, getting laid is financial Russian roulette. 685 00:42:49,033 --> 00:42:52,628 Maybe I shouldjust tear it all down, build a cottage. 686 00:42:53,704 --> 00:42:55,501 More landscaping. 687 00:42:57,408 --> 00:43:01,777 Well, with my money, I can't afford to be fooling around. 688 00:43:01,845 --> 00:43:03,779 Besides, I have you. 689 00:43:03,847 --> 00:43:06,179 It'll be fun... just the girls. 690 00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:11,119 Well, thanks, Sarah, but I can't sleep on your couch forever. 691 00:43:11,188 --> 00:43:13,622 I'm going to marry again, 692 00:43:13,691 --> 00:43:15,818 nail the guy's ass good. 693 00:43:16,961 --> 00:43:20,453 And this time there'll be no Puffy von Espy. 694 00:43:32,610 --> 00:43:34,544 Knock knock. 695 00:43:34,612 --> 00:43:36,546 Excuse me. Mr. Donaly? 696 00:43:36,614 --> 00:43:38,548 Mr. Donaly? 697 00:43:38,616 --> 00:43:41,016 Mr. Donaly, excuse me. 698 00:43:43,487 --> 00:43:45,421 You are Donovan Donaly? 699 00:43:45,489 --> 00:43:47,616 I'm in a meeting. Mr. Donaly. 700 00:43:47,691 --> 00:43:49,750 I need a name. 701 00:43:55,032 --> 00:43:58,695 And, of course, we will have to litigate. Sentence, paragraph. 702 00:44:00,070 --> 00:44:02,561 Naturally, the first concern for both parties... 703 00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:05,404 is the welfare of little WendellJunior. 704 00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:09,572 Nevertheless, we do question whether the continuing expenses for his special ed classes... 705 00:44:09,647 --> 00:44:12,081 are truly justified, given the great strides... 706 00:44:12,149 --> 00:44:15,141 Mr. Massey, the senior partner would like to see you. 707 00:44:17,388 --> 00:44:20,380 Herb wants to see me? If you have a moment. 708 00:44:53,957 --> 00:44:57,654 Fourteen summaryjudgments sought. 709 00:44:58,896 --> 00:45:00,830 Thirteen granted. 710 00:45:03,167 --> 00:45:07,399 Eighteen movements to void for respondent's prejudice. 711 00:45:07,471 --> 00:45:09,405 Eighteen granted. 712 00:45:09,473 --> 00:45:12,840 Twelve court days on the Rexroth case alone. 713 00:45:14,912 --> 00:45:20,248 320 billable hours paralegal services. 714 00:45:21,685 --> 00:45:24,620 680 billable... 715 00:45:24,688 --> 00:45:26,622 at full attorney rate. 716 00:45:29,093 --> 00:45:31,721 Eighty-five lunches charged. 717 00:45:50,547 --> 00:45:52,913 Counselor... 718 00:45:54,284 --> 00:45:56,218 you are the engine... 719 00:45:56,286 --> 00:45:58,220 that drives this firm. 720 00:46:06,430 --> 00:46:09,024 Mr. Massey? 721 00:46:09,099 --> 00:46:11,033 Please, no calls. 722 00:46:11,101 --> 00:46:13,035 I'm feeling... a little fragile. 723 00:46:13,103 --> 00:46:17,039 I'm sorry, Mr. Massey, but I felt certain you'd want to know Marylin Rexroth wants to see you. 724 00:46:17,107 --> 00:46:20,042 Marylin... Uh, uh, uh, w... Uh, when did she, uh... 725 00:46:20,110 --> 00:46:22,044 She's here now. 726 00:46:22,112 --> 00:46:25,047 Is she armed? Give me a minute. 727 00:46:35,993 --> 00:46:37,927 Marylin. 728 00:46:37,995 --> 00:46:40,429 How nice of you to... 729 00:46:40,497 --> 00:46:42,431 Marylin? 730 00:46:42,499 --> 00:46:44,763 Shame on you. 731 00:46:44,835 --> 00:46:46,769 Marylin. 732 00:46:46,837 --> 00:46:48,828 What a lovely surprise. 733 00:46:50,541 --> 00:46:52,907 Marylin, what a pl... 734 00:46:52,976 --> 00:46:55,342 - Who the hell are you? - Hello, Miles. 735 00:46:55,412 --> 00:46:58,142 So nice of you to see us. 736 00:47:00,017 --> 00:47:03,384 May I introduce Howard D. Doyle of Doyle Oil. 737 00:47:03,453 --> 00:47:05,387 I'm goddamn pleased to meet you. 738 00:47:05,455 --> 00:47:07,946 Marylin here, she says you're the best. Says you're aces. 739 00:47:08,025 --> 00:47:10,721 Well, thank you, Mr., uh... 740 00:47:10,794 --> 00:47:15,231 Uh, any... any relation toJohn D. Doyle of Doyle Oil? 741 00:47:15,299 --> 00:47:18,393 Oh, you must be talkin' about Grandpa John. My papa's John D. Too. 742 00:47:18,468 --> 00:47:21,403 The Deuce, we called him. You know, kinda the rebel of the family. 743 00:47:21,471 --> 00:47:24,565 But they knocked off that wholeJohn D. Routine when they christened Yours Truly. 744 00:47:24,641 --> 00:47:26,632 Grandpa nearly had a stroke. 745 00:47:26,710 --> 00:47:30,339 He did have a stroke, but that was later, during the labor activity in '52. 746 00:47:30,414 --> 00:47:32,348 The government stepped in. Mm-hmm. Uh... 747 00:47:32,416 --> 00:47:34,441 They called it mediation. Well... 748 00:47:34,518 --> 00:47:36,486 He called it incipient communism. 749 00:47:36,553 --> 00:47:38,487 Of course, that's when he had his stroke. 750 00:47:38,555 --> 00:47:41,490 Golly, the whole left side of his body is as useless as tits on a boar hog. 751 00:47:41,558 --> 00:47:44,493 He lingered in a vegetative state for years... Well, that is fascinating, Mr. Doyle. 752 00:47:44,561 --> 00:47:46,495 What say we have a seat? A seat? 753 00:47:46,563 --> 00:47:49,999 Marylin's had me runnin' up and down Rodeo Drive all day long. 754 00:47:50,067 --> 00:47:53,002 Kinda hit-and-run shoppin', you know. Take no prisoners. 755 00:47:53,070 --> 00:47:56,005 Forced march kind of thing. My God, my dogs are barkin'. 756 00:47:56,073 --> 00:47:59,008 We started out at this li'I ol' place right off of Wilshire... It's been quite a day. 757 00:47:59,076 --> 00:48:00,941 Had pewter things. 758 00:48:01,011 --> 00:48:05,812 But anyway, Miles, I know you're busy and you charge by the hour, so I'll get straight to the point. 759 00:48:06,884 --> 00:48:09,648 Howard D. And I are planning to marry. 760 00:48:13,523 --> 00:48:15,457 Well... 761 00:48:15,525 --> 00:48:18,983 Well, I suppose that congratulations are in order. 762 00:48:19,062 --> 00:48:24,295 You know, the urge to wedlock and form a lastin'monogamous bond sanctified by ritual, it's pert-near universal. 763 00:48:24,368 --> 00:48:28,327 As a matter of fact, it might be of some interest to you, bein'in a related business... 764 00:48:28,405 --> 00:48:31,340 Even your indigenous Americans... Uh, I believe it was your Cree... used to... 765 00:48:31,408 --> 00:48:35,344 Howard and I are here because I've learned, through bitter experience, 766 00:48:35,412 --> 00:48:39,576 that when it comes to matrimony and law, you are the very best. 767 00:48:39,650 --> 00:48:43,711 And as you are well aware, my previous marriage... 768 00:48:43,787 --> 00:48:47,188 ended in an unjustified stain... 769 00:48:47,257 --> 00:48:49,191 upon my reputation. 770 00:48:49,259 --> 00:48:51,193 My motives were impugned. 771 00:48:51,261 --> 00:48:53,593 I was slandered in court. 772 00:48:53,664 --> 00:48:56,360 I was painted a harlot. 773 00:48:56,433 --> 00:48:58,367 Oh, honey, you ain't no harlot. 774 00:48:58,435 --> 00:49:00,369 Oh, yes, honey. 775 00:49:00,437 --> 00:49:04,874 So it's my desire to remove any trace of suspicion... 776 00:49:04,942 --> 00:49:08,503 from the mind of my dear Howard Doyle. 777 00:49:08,578 --> 00:49:10,512 Oh, honey, come on, now. 778 00:49:10,580 --> 00:49:12,912 I wish to execute a prenuptial agreement. 779 00:49:12,983 --> 00:49:16,419 And I'm dead-set against it. I mean, just anti the whole deal. 780 00:49:16,486 --> 00:49:18,420 Howard's lawyers prefer it. 781 00:49:18,488 --> 00:49:20,422 I insist upon it. 782 00:49:20,490 --> 00:49:24,221 Oh, damn lawyers. Uh, no offense to the present company or anything, you know. 783 00:49:24,294 --> 00:49:27,923 Now, is it my understanding that the Massey prenup has never been penetrated? 784 00:49:29,199 --> 00:49:31,133 That is correct. 785 00:49:31,201 --> 00:49:34,227 Not to blow my own horn, but they devote an entire semester to it at Harvard Law. 786 00:49:34,304 --> 00:49:37,273 They got a hell of a school up there, ain't no doubt about it. 787 00:49:37,341 --> 00:49:40,276 We donated that Doyle building up there here a while back. Mm-hmm. 788 00:49:40,344 --> 00:49:43,108 Now, I myself went to Texas A&M. I'm an Aggie. 789 00:49:43,180 --> 00:49:45,114 - Business? - Tight end. 790 00:49:45,182 --> 00:49:48,117 And I had a fair amount of success against the split-T defense. 791 00:49:48,185 --> 00:49:50,653 See, when they line up symmetrical thataway, 792 00:49:50,721 --> 00:49:54,555 it allows me to buttonhook and, you know, do a down-and-in, up-and-out and different things... 793 00:49:54,624 --> 00:49:56,717 post pattern every now and then. 794 00:49:56,793 --> 00:49:58,727 Your tight ends don't generally run a post. 795 00:49:58,795 --> 00:50:00,956 But if the QB calls it, hell, I'm ready. 796 00:50:01,031 --> 00:50:02,293 Interrupt for a second? Yeah. 797 00:50:02,366 --> 00:50:07,235 I wanna make sure that you both understand... what it is you're asking. 798 00:50:07,304 --> 00:50:11,138 The Massey prenup provides that in the event of a dissolution of the marriage, 799 00:50:11,208 --> 00:50:13,142 for any reason, 800 00:50:13,210 --> 00:50:17,169 both parties will leave it with what they brought in... and earned during. 801 00:50:17,247 --> 00:50:20,182 No one can profit from the marriage. 802 00:50:20,250 --> 00:50:23,447 The prenup protects the wealthier party. 803 00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:28,583 Without it, that party is exposed, a sitting duck. 804 00:50:28,658 --> 00:50:31,593 Not a hell of a lot of romance in that. 805 00:50:31,661 --> 00:50:34,129 No, sir, there is not. No romance. 806 00:50:34,197 --> 00:50:36,791 More to the point, no wriggle room. 807 00:50:36,867 --> 00:50:40,268 So, are we sure... 808 00:50:41,304 --> 00:50:43,295 that this is what we want? 809 00:50:43,373 --> 00:50:45,841 Absolutely. 810 00:50:47,344 --> 00:50:49,278 It's my gift to Howard, 811 00:50:49,346 --> 00:50:52,042 for his peace of mind, 812 00:50:52,115 --> 00:50:55,380 whether or not he's worried about it at this moment. 813 00:50:55,452 --> 00:50:58,717 Oh, honey pie, do I look worried? 814 00:51:02,659 --> 00:51:04,593 Excuse me, Mr. Doyle. 815 00:51:04,661 --> 00:51:07,596 Could I just borrow your charming fiance for a moment? 816 00:51:07,664 --> 00:51:10,098 Well, okay. You gon' leave a deposit? 817 00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:18,673 What are you up to? 818 00:51:18,742 --> 00:51:21,677 Something you won't understand, Miles. 819 00:51:21,745 --> 00:51:24,179 Howard and I are very much in love. 820 00:51:24,247 --> 00:51:28,581 I don't know what you're thinking, but I have to warn you, the Massey prenup has never been penetrated. 821 00:51:28,652 --> 00:51:32,315 You sign the prenup, you can't get his money. 822 00:51:32,389 --> 00:51:34,357 Thanks for the professional help. 823 00:51:34,424 --> 00:51:37,359 Marylin, think of me for a moment... 824 00:51:37,427 --> 00:51:40,555 not as an attorney but as a friend. 825 00:51:40,630 --> 00:51:43,565 Does that mean you won't be charging us for the hour? 826 00:51:43,633 --> 00:51:46,602 Dump him. You can't nail his ass. 827 00:51:48,338 --> 00:51:50,329 Is that all? 828 00:51:52,442 --> 00:51:54,410 No, that's not all. 829 00:52:11,094 --> 00:52:13,585 I could have you disbarred for that. 830 00:52:14,664 --> 00:52:16,291 It was worth it. 831 00:52:18,702 --> 00:52:20,795 A romantic divorce attorney. 832 00:52:26,343 --> 00:52:28,641 You fascinate me. 833 00:52:35,952 --> 00:52:38,819 I'll get right on it. I'll whip something up. 834 00:52:40,390 --> 00:52:42,381 All right. Thank you. 835 00:52:43,393 --> 00:52:46,487 How's Lionel? He's fine. 836 00:52:46,563 --> 00:52:51,762 He asked me to deliver the keynote address at this year's convention in Vegas. 837 00:52:51,835 --> 00:52:53,393 That's quite an honor. 838 00:52:53,470 --> 00:52:55,404 I suppose. On top of a great victory. 839 00:52:55,472 --> 00:52:56,939 What was that? 840 00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:58,941 "What was that"? 841 00:52:59,009 --> 00:53:00,943 Um, Rex Rexroth? 842 00:53:01,011 --> 00:53:04,071 He kept everything? You win? No compromise? Isn't that what you wanted? 843 00:53:07,083 --> 00:53:10,143 Oh, good God, Miles. What are you looking for? 844 00:53:11,955 --> 00:53:13,946 I don't know. 845 00:53:15,559 --> 00:53:17,493 Okay, I won. 846 00:53:19,563 --> 00:53:21,497 What then? 847 00:53:21,565 --> 00:53:24,500 How many cases has Herb Myerson won? 848 00:53:24,568 --> 00:53:27,799 The old man? More than anybody. He's a legend. And look at him. 849 00:53:27,871 --> 00:53:31,568 He's 87 years old, he's the first one into the office in the morning. 850 00:53:31,641 --> 00:53:34,633 - No home life. - Who needs a home when you have a colostomy bag? 851 00:53:34,711 --> 00:53:37,111 She can't really love this dope, can she? 852 00:53:37,180 --> 00:53:39,944 Who? Uh, who loves who? 853 00:53:40,016 --> 00:53:41,950 Marylin Rexroth. 854 00:53:42,018 --> 00:53:45,545 She signed a prenup for an oil millionaire. 855 00:53:45,622 --> 00:53:49,991 A... Massey... prenup? 856 00:53:51,895 --> 00:53:53,829 Yeah. 857 00:53:53,897 --> 00:53:56,388 Well, then she is not after his money. 858 00:53:58,068 --> 00:54:02,004 Only love is in mind if the Massey is signed. 859 00:54:45,515 --> 00:54:47,710 What the hell's wrong with you? 860 00:54:57,694 --> 00:55:00,629 Thank you for coming to this celebration... 861 00:55:00,697 --> 00:55:04,463 of the love between our two friends, Marylin and Howard. 862 00:55:04,534 --> 00:55:06,968 In today's cynical world, 863 00:55:07,037 --> 00:55:10,268 it's so hard to take that great leap of faith... 864 00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:13,241 aboard the ship of love and caring. 865 00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:16,905 But today Marylin and Howard are taking that leap... 866 00:55:16,980 --> 00:55:19,312 and telling us, their friends, 867 00:55:19,382 --> 00:55:22,249 that they do believe, that they do have faith, 868 00:55:22,319 --> 00:55:24,253 that they do love. 869 00:55:24,321 --> 00:55:27,188 Do you, Howard Drexler Doyle, 870 00:55:27,257 --> 00:55:31,216 take Marylin to be your shipmate on this journey through life, 871 00:55:31,294 --> 00:55:35,230 through gale and doldrum, seas choppy, wild and calm? 872 00:55:35,298 --> 00:55:37,232 Yes, I do, Father Scott. 873 00:55:39,302 --> 00:55:42,567 And do you, Marylin Rexroth, take Howard to be your shipmate and companion... 874 00:55:42,639 --> 00:55:44,573 to ports of every clime, 875 00:55:44,641 --> 00:55:47,508 be it in first class or steerage? 876 00:55:47,577 --> 00:55:49,738 I do. 877 00:55:49,813 --> 00:55:52,646 Then, by the power vested in me by the State of California, 878 00:55:52,716 --> 00:55:55,446 and as captain of the good ship Amore Veritas, 879 00:55:55,518 --> 00:55:58,681 I now pronounce you man and wife. 880 00:56:17,674 --> 00:56:19,665 What do you think? 881 00:56:20,977 --> 00:56:23,969 - What are they, ladles? - Berry spoons. 882 00:56:24,047 --> 00:56:25,981 Spoons? Berry spoons. 883 00:56:26,049 --> 00:56:28,984 Everybody has spoons. And nobody needs berry spoons. 884 00:56:29,052 --> 00:56:31,213 Everybody eats berries. Who are you, Pollyanna? 885 00:56:31,287 --> 00:56:34,188 Hey, everybody! Folks! Hey, y'all! Where'd you see 'em at? 886 00:56:34,257 --> 00:56:37,192 A Martha Stewart catalog right next to the silver napkin rings? 887 00:56:37,260 --> 00:56:39,694 I need your attention for a minute. Stadium seat ass-warmers? 888 00:56:39,763 --> 00:56:42,027 Dear God, Wrigley, how many cockamamie personal possessions do we have to amass... 889 00:56:42,098 --> 00:56:44,032 Why so angry? 890 00:56:44,100 --> 00:56:48,560 Now, I know it's not common practice for the groom to give his bride a gift on their weddin' day, 891 00:56:48,638 --> 00:56:51,471 but ever since I met Marylin there... 892 00:56:51,541 --> 00:56:53,566 I can't seem to quit givin' her things. 893 00:56:56,279 --> 00:56:59,806 - And I don't wanna stop 'cause it feels so durn good! 894 00:56:59,883 --> 00:57:02,750 Chow Sing, bring that barbecue sauce over here, little buddy. 895 00:57:02,819 --> 00:57:04,753 There you go. 896 00:57:04,821 --> 00:57:07,551 Put that thing on my neck now. 897 00:57:07,624 --> 00:57:09,649 Now, honey, it's like the padre said. 898 00:57:09,726 --> 00:57:11,660 I want love and trust between us. 899 00:57:11,728 --> 00:57:14,390 Love and trust and not a thing else. 900 00:57:14,464 --> 00:57:17,456 And this here deed that I'm fixin' to perform... 901 00:57:20,670 --> 00:57:22,661 Well, honey, let me just, uh... 902 00:57:25,975 --> 00:57:27,966 You see this? 903 00:57:36,352 --> 00:57:38,445 This is for you, darlin' 904 00:57:38,521 --> 00:57:41,388 This here is for you. 905 00:57:41,458 --> 00:57:43,392 This here is for you, baby. 906 00:57:43,460 --> 00:57:46,520 Ever'last little speck of it. 907 00:57:46,596 --> 00:57:48,530 I love you. 908 00:57:48,598 --> 00:57:51,362 I mean, I love you like a son of a bitch! 909 00:57:52,435 --> 00:57:54,096 I trust you.! 910 00:57:56,172 --> 00:57:58,766 This here is for you, baby. Brilliant! 911 00:57:58,842 --> 00:58:00,400 Baby, this is for you. 912 00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:02,342 What is it? I really love you. 913 00:58:02,412 --> 00:58:05,074 It's the prenup. 914 00:58:05,148 --> 00:58:06,740 I love her! 915 00:58:06,816 --> 00:58:09,444 I trust her.! 916 00:58:09,519 --> 00:58:11,453 Ladies and gentlemen, It's the prenup! 917 00:58:11,521 --> 00:58:13,785 I trust her.! Brilliant! 918 00:58:17,293 --> 00:58:19,227 You look beautiful. 919 00:58:19,295 --> 00:58:22,230 Ladies, if you'll excuse us. 920 00:58:22,298 --> 00:58:24,493 We have to talk. 921 00:58:24,567 --> 00:58:27,001 I would like to offer my congratulations. 922 00:58:27,070 --> 00:58:30,005 It was a beautiful gesture of Howard's. 923 00:58:30,073 --> 00:58:32,667 Well, Howard is a beautiful person. 924 00:58:32,742 --> 00:58:34,676 A diamond in the rough. 925 00:58:34,744 --> 00:58:37,008 And I have a feeling that someday soon... 926 00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:40,015 you'll be taking that diamond and leaving the rough. 927 00:58:40,083 --> 00:58:44,486 In a month or so, once I've established that I've tried to make the marriage work. 928 00:58:44,554 --> 00:58:47,955 May I offer my services? Oh, thanks. 929 00:58:48,024 --> 00:58:49,958 But no. 930 00:58:50,026 --> 00:58:51,960 No, I'm retaining Freddy Bender. 931 00:58:52,028 --> 00:58:54,588 Poor Freddy. He was awfully blue after my last divorce. 932 00:58:54,664 --> 00:58:56,598 Well, I admire your loyalty. 933 00:58:56,666 --> 00:58:58,600 To lawyers, anyway. 934 00:58:58,668 --> 00:59:01,865 I guess without the prenup it's something even Freddy could manage. 935 00:59:01,938 --> 00:59:04,873 But how did you get Howard to do it? 936 00:59:04,941 --> 00:59:06,875 It felt like it was his idea. 937 00:59:06,943 --> 00:59:09,878 Surely, Mr. Massey, you've addressed enough juries... 938 00:59:09,946 --> 00:59:12,813 to appreciate the power of suggestion. 939 00:59:12,882 --> 00:59:15,180 Mmm. 940 00:59:18,254 --> 00:59:21,314 Look, now that the marriage is winding down, 941 00:59:21,391 --> 00:59:23,382 have dinner with me. 942 00:59:24,761 --> 00:59:26,695 No. 943 00:59:26,763 --> 00:59:30,199 No, nothing doing until the ink is dry on the settlement. 944 00:59:30,266 --> 00:59:32,734 Oh, this'll be no settlement. 945 00:59:32,802 --> 00:59:37,068 If I know Marylin Rexroth, this'll be nothing short of a complete and total... 946 00:59:38,474 --> 00:59:40,465 annihilation. 947 00:59:58,561 --> 01:00:01,689 You're gonna win. Excuse me? 948 01:00:01,764 --> 01:00:05,325 I can always tell, going to Vegas, who's gonna win. 949 01:00:05,401 --> 01:00:09,235 Well, thanks, but I'm going on business. 950 01:00:09,305 --> 01:00:12,172 I always win. 951 01:00:26,422 --> 01:00:28,356 You know why I hate this town, Wrigley? 952 01:00:28,424 --> 01:00:33,293 You see, people get to Las Vegas, and all of a sudden, the rules of the moral universe don't apply. 953 01:00:33,363 --> 01:00:35,797 When God is dead, all things are possible. 954 01:00:35,865 --> 01:00:37,799 I saw an ad in the paper: 955 01:00:37,867 --> 01:00:42,736 "No-fault divorce... two-week divorce without a lawyer." 956 01:00:42,805 --> 01:00:46,172 Made me sick to my stomach. "No-fault divorce." 957 01:00:46,242 --> 01:00:49,541 Good God. Talk about your oxymoron. 958 01:00:49,612 --> 01:00:52,581 What's the world comin' to? One man can only do so much. 959 01:00:52,649 --> 01:00:55,482 One man... What are you talkin' about? 960 01:00:55,551 --> 01:00:58,611 - Freddy. With Freddy Bender yesterday. 961 01:00:58,688 --> 01:01:02,055 He tells me that Marylin Rexroth-Doyle is now richer than Croesus. 962 01:01:02,125 --> 01:01:05,720 Ah, yes, but is she richer than Mrs. Croesus? 963 01:01:05,795 --> 01:01:08,559 She could buy and sell you 10 times over. She... 964 01:01:10,299 --> 01:01:13,530 - My God, is that her? - Mmm. 965 01:01:13,603 --> 01:01:17,266 Freddy said she was flying in with him. Celebrating, I guess. 966 01:01:17,340 --> 01:01:21,003 I'm fascinated by that creature. Richer than me, huh? 967 01:01:21,077 --> 01:01:23,705 Well, she deserves every penny. 968 01:01:23,780 --> 01:01:28,080 And now she's single again. Excuse me. 969 01:01:28,151 --> 01:01:30,847 No. You should stay away from her, Miles. 970 01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:33,184 Recite your keynote address. Take a cold shower. 971 01:01:41,130 --> 01:01:44,793 You're looking well, Marylin. Hello, Miles. 972 01:01:44,867 --> 01:01:47,802 Obscene wealth becomes you. 973 01:01:47,870 --> 01:01:51,670 I should've known you'd be here. Be here? 974 01:01:51,741 --> 01:01:54,676 I'm the keynote speaker. Oh, how nice for you. 975 01:01:54,744 --> 01:01:57,907 "Nailing Your Spouse's Assets." Excuse me? 976 01:01:57,980 --> 01:02:01,507 My speech. Oh! 977 01:02:01,584 --> 01:02:04,644 Oh, I'm sure you'll bring the house down. 978 01:02:04,721 --> 01:02:06,655 It's an easy crowd. 979 01:02:06,723 --> 01:02:11,626 At this point, I would think you're probably the only person that I can't teach anything to. 980 01:02:11,694 --> 01:02:13,719 Really? Mmm. 981 01:02:13,796 --> 01:02:18,130 Now, correct me, but since by now the ink must be dry, 982 01:02:18,201 --> 01:02:20,829 I believe I have the right to collect. 983 01:02:20,903 --> 01:02:25,067 On? You promised to have dinner with me once you were free. 984 01:02:25,141 --> 01:02:29,134 I said I wouldn't whilst I wasn't, which implies no promise once I am. 985 01:02:29,212 --> 01:02:31,772 Noted. Let me rephrase. 986 01:02:31,848 --> 01:02:36,308 I would be delighted... honored, really... 987 01:02:37,987 --> 01:02:40,148 Howard! Ow! Howard! 988 01:02:40,223 --> 01:02:42,714 Howard! 989 01:02:42,792 --> 01:02:46,853 You named him after your ex. I'm sentimental. 990 01:02:46,929 --> 01:02:52,697 Well, I'm free this evening, so I suppose a little dinner would do no harm. 991 01:02:52,769 --> 01:02:56,227 Le Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin, 1990, sir. 992 01:02:56,305 --> 01:03:00,765 Yes. Thank you. I'll take care of it. 993 01:03:01,778 --> 01:03:05,111 Marylin, this is a moment to savor. 994 01:03:05,181 --> 01:03:08,275 Yes, we were adversaries, 995 01:03:08,351 --> 01:03:11,582 but we were also professionals. 996 01:03:11,654 --> 01:03:16,990 So let us raise a glass to friendship. 997 01:03:19,529 --> 01:03:22,054 To victory. 998 01:03:25,168 --> 01:03:29,195 So, how does it feel? 999 01:03:30,273 --> 01:03:33,401 Sorry? Victory. Independence. 1000 01:03:33,476 --> 01:03:36,036 Oh, um... 1001 01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:41,447 - Well, frankly, Miles... - It's not everything you'd hoped for? 1002 01:03:46,722 --> 01:03:49,282 I know the feeling. 1003 01:03:49,358 --> 01:03:53,419 Independence. Two-edged sword. 1004 01:03:54,630 --> 01:03:57,497 My friend... My best friend... Sarah Sorkin? 1005 01:03:59,669 --> 01:04:02,160 Sarah Battista-O'Flanagan-Sorkin? 1006 01:04:02,238 --> 01:04:04,968 The O'Flanagan settlement? 1007 01:04:06,409 --> 01:04:09,435 - Ahh. - Hmm. 1008 01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:13,710 - Huh. - Anyway, three fine settlements. 1009 01:04:13,783 --> 01:04:16,081 More money than she could ever hope to spend. 1010 01:04:16,152 --> 01:04:18,518 Yes. Her vaunted independence. 1011 01:04:18,588 --> 01:04:23,924 Don't tell me. She sits around the house, afraid to see people, afraid to put her portfolio into play. 1012 01:04:23,993 --> 01:04:28,327 And only a peptic ulcer to keep her warm at night. 1013 01:04:28,397 --> 01:04:30,388 Yes. 1014 01:04:31,467 --> 01:04:35,335 There's a certain point when you've achieved your goals. 1015 01:04:35,404 --> 01:04:39,431 You realize that you're still not satisfied. 1016 01:04:39,508 --> 01:04:41,499 Yes. 1017 01:04:47,850 --> 01:04:49,841 We should order. 1018 01:04:51,754 --> 01:04:55,554 You know, I'm not really hungry. 1019 01:04:56,692 --> 01:04:58,785 Neither am I. 1020 01:05:21,284 --> 01:05:24,253 Shh. 1021 01:05:41,404 --> 01:05:45,067 1,800 billable hours. 1022 01:05:45,141 --> 01:05:50,670 1,221 motions to void. 1023 01:05:50,746 --> 01:05:56,309 564 summary judgments. 1024 01:05:56,385 --> 01:06:02,221 129,999 lunches charged. 1025 01:06:18,774 --> 01:06:21,504 Hello? 1026 01:06:21,577 --> 01:06:26,605 Miles? Hello? Marylin? 1027 01:06:26,682 --> 01:06:28,912 Sarah Sorkin just died! 1028 01:06:31,620 --> 01:06:33,247 Marylin! 1029 01:06:33,322 --> 01:06:35,313 Her ulcer... 1030 01:06:36,792 --> 01:06:38,885 perforated. 1031 01:06:38,961 --> 01:06:42,226 Infection. Yes. 1032 01:06:43,599 --> 01:06:47,467 Miles? Yes, Marylin? 1033 01:06:47,536 --> 01:06:49,868 She was alone. 1034 01:06:49,939 --> 01:06:55,036 She'd been dead for two days before her Pilates instructor found her. 1035 01:06:57,913 --> 01:07:00,074 Marylin, listen to me. 1036 01:07:00,149 --> 01:07:04,415 No arguments. No discussions. I'll have Wrigley meet us at the Wee Kirk o' the Heather. 1037 01:07:09,492 --> 01:07:13,189 - Wrigley! - The vows are from an Arapaho dawn greeting ceremony. 1038 01:07:13,262 --> 01:07:17,460 The music is Simon and Garfunkel. And this is the Massey prenup. 1039 01:07:17,533 --> 01:07:21,936 You the two gettin' married? - Mr. MacKinnon here will be officiating. 1040 01:07:22,004 --> 01:07:24,438 Sorry. Short notice. Pen. 1041 01:07:24,507 --> 01:07:27,943 Marylin, you're welcome to examine this. 1042 01:07:28,010 --> 01:07:31,878 This is the Massey prenup. 1043 01:07:31,947 --> 01:07:34,939 As you know, it's ironclad. We tried to reach Freddy Bender. 1044 01:07:35,017 --> 01:07:38,509 We tried to reach Freddy, to have him here for your protection, but we couldn't find him. I couldn't get him. 1045 01:07:38,587 --> 01:07:41,215 Are you two here to get married or to bullshit? 1046 01:07:41,290 --> 01:07:45,693 - So you can't hope to benefit from the marriage? - Not in any way. 1047 01:07:45,761 --> 01:07:49,128 And my wealth is completely... completely protected? 1048 01:07:49,198 --> 01:07:52,395 As if a lead veil had been drawn across it. 1049 01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:04,342 Do you still want to marry me? More than ever. 1050 01:08:07,683 --> 01:08:10,049 Are ya rentin' kilts? 1051 01:08:27,536 --> 01:08:30,733 Do you, Miles Longfellow Massey, 1052 01:08:30,806 --> 01:08:35,175 of Massey, Myerson, Sloan and Gurolnick, L.L.P., 1053 01:08:35,244 --> 01:08:40,375 take Marylin Hamilton-Rexroth-Doyle to be your lawful wedded wife? 1054 01:08:40,449 --> 01:08:42,713 I do. Yes. I do. I do. 1055 01:08:42,785 --> 01:08:47,119 Let me finish. Jesus, have you never been married before? 1056 01:08:47,189 --> 01:08:52,855 To have and to hold, to love and to cherish, till death do you part? 1057 01:08:54,697 --> 01:08:57,257 - I do. 1058 01:08:57,333 --> 01:09:01,292 And do you, Marylin Hamilton-Rexroth-Doyle, 1059 01:09:01,370 --> 01:09:05,932 take Miles Longfellow Massey to be your lawful wedded husband, 1060 01:09:06,008 --> 01:09:10,206 to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, till death do you part? 1061 01:09:10,279 --> 01:09:14,648 - I do. - I now pronounce you man and wife. 1062 01:09:46,916 --> 01:09:49,714 I'll take care of you later. 1063 01:10:00,262 --> 01:10:03,595 No, no, no, no, no. No. This is all wrong. Wha... 1064 01:10:05,401 --> 01:10:07,665 Is it the kilt? 1065 01:10:08,737 --> 01:10:13,140 Do you love me? More than anything. 1066 01:10:13,209 --> 01:10:17,509 Can I trust you? Yes. You can trust me. 1067 01:10:26,021 --> 01:10:28,216 Darling, you're exposed. 1068 01:10:28,290 --> 01:10:30,724 A sitting duck. 1069 01:10:49,211 --> 01:10:52,476 I hereby declare the 12th Congress of the National Organization... 1070 01:10:52,548 --> 01:10:56,644 - of Matrimonial Attorneys Nationwide... open. 1071 01:10:56,719 --> 01:11:02,351 As our first order of business, it is a privilege to call to the podium our keynote speaker. 1072 01:11:02,424 --> 01:11:07,259 From the Los Angeles firm of Massey, Myerson, Sloan and Gurolnick, 1073 01:11:07,329 --> 01:11:12,096 a man whose name is synonymous with bitter disputes and big awards, 1074 01:11:12,167 --> 01:11:14,158 Miles Massey. 1075 01:11:32,488 --> 01:11:34,080 Thank you, Branco. 1076 01:11:39,061 --> 01:11:41,052 In the world of... 1077 01:11:44,333 --> 01:11:48,099 In the world of matrimonial law, there are... 1078 01:11:55,511 --> 01:12:00,414 In the world of matrimonial law, 1079 01:12:16,398 --> 01:12:18,389 Friends, 1080 01:12:21,036 --> 01:12:24,028 this morning I stand before you a very different Miles Massey... 1081 01:12:24,106 --> 01:12:26,768 than the one that addressed you last year... 1082 01:12:26,842 --> 01:12:30,141 on the disposition of marital assets following murder/suicide. 1083 01:12:30,212 --> 01:12:34,774 I wish to talk to you today not about technical matters oflaw. 1084 01:12:36,852 --> 01:12:40,288 I wish to talk to you about something more important. 1085 01:12:42,524 --> 01:12:45,516 I wish to talk to you from the heart... 1086 01:12:51,066 --> 01:12:56,436 because today... for the first time in my life, 1087 01:12:56,505 --> 01:13:00,908 I stand before you... naked... 1088 01:13:04,913 --> 01:13:06,972 vulnerable... 1089 01:13:08,984 --> 01:13:13,011 and in love. 1090 01:13:19,395 --> 01:13:21,625 Love. 1091 01:13:22,931 --> 01:13:25,866 It's a word we matrimonial lawyers avoid. 1092 01:13:27,369 --> 01:13:30,600 Funny, isn't it? We're frightened of this emotion, which is, in a sense, 1093 01:13:30,672 --> 01:13:32,663 the seed of our livelihood. 1094 01:13:34,209 --> 01:13:37,303 Well, today Miles Massey is here to tell you... 1095 01:13:37,379 --> 01:13:41,475 that love need cause us no fear. 1096 01:13:43,919 --> 01:13:46,854 Love need cause us no shame. 1097 01:13:46,922 --> 01:13:49,117 Love is... 1098 01:13:49,191 --> 01:13:51,182 good. 1099 01:13:57,266 --> 01:14:00,724 - Love is good. 1100 01:14:03,439 --> 01:14:08,672 I am, of course, aware that these remarks will be received here with cynicism. 1101 01:14:08,744 --> 01:14:13,443 Cynicism, that cloak that advertises our indifference... 1102 01:14:13,515 --> 01:14:15,574 and hides all human feeling. 1103 01:14:15,651 --> 01:14:19,109 Well, I'm here to tell you that that cynicism which we think protects us... 1104 01:14:19,188 --> 01:14:21,918 in fact destroys. 1105 01:14:21,990 --> 01:14:25,323 Destroys love, destroys our clients, 1106 01:14:25,394 --> 01:14:28,261 and, ultimately, destroys ourselves. 1107 01:14:28,330 --> 01:14:33,529 Colleagues, when our clients come to us confused and angry and hurting... 1108 01:14:33,602 --> 01:14:37,197 because their flame of love is guttering and threatens to die, 1109 01:14:37,272 --> 01:14:40,366 do we seek to extinguish that flame so that we can sift... 1110 01:14:40,442 --> 01:14:43,377 through the smoldering wreckage for our paltry reward, 1111 01:14:43,445 --> 01:14:46,414 or do we fan this precious flame, 1112 01:14:46,482 --> 01:14:51,283 this most precious flame, back into loving, roaring life? 1113 01:14:51,353 --> 01:14:55,380 Do we counsel fear or trust? 1114 01:14:55,457 --> 01:14:57,789 Do we seek to destroy or build? 1115 01:14:57,860 --> 01:15:02,388 Do we meet our clients'problems with cynicism... 1116 01:15:03,765 --> 01:15:05,756 or with love? 1117 01:15:11,807 --> 01:15:14,867 The choice is, of course, each of ours. 1118 01:15:16,612 --> 01:15:21,015 For my part, I've made the leap of love, and there's no going back. 1119 01:15:21,083 --> 01:15:24,348 Ladies and gentlemen, this is the last time I will address you... 1120 01:15:24,419 --> 01:15:27,411 as the president of N.O.M.A. N... or as a member. 1121 01:15:30,926 --> 01:15:34,828 I intend to devote myself to pro bono work in East Los Angeles... 1122 01:15:34,897 --> 01:15:37,263 or... one of those other... 1123 01:15:42,504 --> 01:15:44,495 God bless you all. 1124 01:16:33,121 --> 01:16:36,056 I love you, man. 1125 01:16:49,838 --> 01:16:53,399 So, Wrigley, I'm gonna be relinquishing my partnership in Massey, Myerson. 1126 01:16:53,475 --> 01:16:57,775 If you'd care to join me in my new endeavor, I'd be delighted. 1127 01:16:57,846 --> 01:17:01,009 Of course, I can't offer you the same kind of financial remuneration you've grown accustomed to, 1128 01:17:01,083 --> 01:17:03,017 but the work'll have to serve as its own reward. 1129 01:17:03,085 --> 01:17:06,680 Barkeep, we'll have two of your finest scotches. That's the, uh... 1130 01:17:06,755 --> 01:17:11,692 - That's... That's the soap that used to belong to, uh... 1131 01:17:11,760 --> 01:17:14,661 Now, you'll be serving in a junior capacity, of course. Donovan Donaly. 1132 01:17:14,730 --> 01:17:19,360 - Miles, that's, uh... that's, uh... uh... - It'll be a small operation, a boutique. 1133 01:17:19,434 --> 01:17:21,925 Let me tell you what they called me in medical school. 1134 01:17:22,004 --> 01:17:25,405 The... I don't see why my leadership skills should... 1135 01:17:25,474 --> 01:17:27,965 Howard? Mackenzie the Mechanical Marvel. 1136 01:17:28,043 --> 01:17:29,977 It's Howard. You see, I have no nerves. 1137 01:17:30,045 --> 01:17:33,708 He's not an oil tycoon. An actor. 1138 01:17:33,782 --> 01:17:37,240 Doctor, this is highly unusual. 1139 01:17:37,319 --> 01:17:40,914 So Marylin married a soap actor. 1140 01:17:40,989 --> 01:17:45,289 So she's... she's... poor. 1141 01:17:45,360 --> 01:17:49,091 Get yourself some clean scrubs and have them prepare the O.R. 1142 01:17:49,164 --> 01:17:51,962 - Well, thank God you have the prenup. - I have no prenup. 1143 01:17:52,034 --> 01:17:54,594 - You have no prenup. - I have no prenup. 1144 01:17:54,670 --> 01:17:56,297 You have no prenup. 1145 01:18:06,815 --> 01:18:08,942 Thanks. 1146 01:18:09,017 --> 01:18:11,008 Okay. 1147 01:18:15,357 --> 01:18:19,521 - Marylin? - Oh, hello, Miles. 1148 01:18:24,299 --> 01:18:27,666 - Going back to L.A.? - Yes. 1149 01:18:27,736 --> 01:18:31,763 Look, Miles, I think it's only fair to warn you that after a decent interval, 1150 01:18:31,840 --> 01:18:34,365 I intend to have Freddy seek an injunction... 1151 01:18:34,443 --> 01:18:37,606 that would forbid you to approach within 500 feet of my house. 1152 01:18:37,679 --> 01:18:42,173 You mean, my house. Oh, I believe the residence will be part of the settlement. 1153 01:18:45,554 --> 01:18:50,389 Marylin, didn't last night mean anything to you? 1154 01:18:50,459 --> 01:18:54,896 Oh. Well, about as much as it'll mean to you... half of your net worth. 1155 01:18:56,465 --> 01:19:00,265 Oh, Miles, you'll always be my favorite husband. 1156 01:19:00,335 --> 01:19:03,395 But no more sentiment, darling. 1157 01:19:03,472 --> 01:19:06,566 I really have to be going. 1158 01:19:06,641 --> 01:19:08,632 The dog's rented. 1159 01:19:17,886 --> 01:19:19,820 You didn't win. 1160 01:19:19,888 --> 01:19:21,822 Excuse me? 1161 01:19:21,890 --> 01:19:26,691 I can always tell, comin' back from Vegas, who didn't win. 1162 01:19:29,097 --> 01:19:31,497 You're right. 1163 01:19:34,803 --> 01:19:36,668 But... 1164 01:19:37,906 --> 01:19:39,840 you're going through with it? 1165 01:19:39,908 --> 01:19:42,706 Yes. 1166 01:19:42,778 --> 01:19:46,339 I just felt so sorry for him for a minute there. 1167 01:19:46,414 --> 01:19:49,713 At the preliminary hearing, he just looked so beaten. 1168 01:19:49,785 --> 01:19:52,720 Well, he was beaten, fair and square. I know, but... 1169 01:19:52,788 --> 01:19:54,756 Oh, their pathetic look. 1170 01:19:54,823 --> 01:19:58,156 It's what they all fall back on when they don't have a prenup. 1171 01:20:01,963 --> 01:20:05,126 Just stay strong until the divorce is final. 1172 01:20:05,200 --> 01:20:09,432 Relax... and enjoy your pool. 1173 01:20:13,708 --> 01:20:16,700 Do you think he's eating enough? Marylin! 1174 01:20:18,446 --> 01:20:21,938 This woman has humbled, 1175 01:20:22,017 --> 01:20:26,818 shamed and disgraced the entire firm. 1176 01:20:26,888 --> 01:20:30,415 - Yes, Herb. - Counselor... 1177 01:20:30,492 --> 01:20:34,553 this firm deals in power. 1178 01:20:34,629 --> 01:20:37,189 This firm deals in perception. 1179 01:20:38,867 --> 01:20:41,062 This firm cannot prosper... 1180 01:20:41,136 --> 01:20:46,836 nor long endure if it is perceived to be... 1181 01:20:46,908 --> 01:20:50,400 dancing to the music of a hurdy-gurdy! 1182 01:20:50,478 --> 01:20:52,537 It's just... 1183 01:20:54,349 --> 01:20:57,546 Herb, for the first time in my career, 1184 01:20:57,619 --> 01:21:00,747 I don't know what to do. 1185 01:21:00,822 --> 01:21:05,316 I'm a patsy. I'm a sittin' duck. I'm lost. 1186 01:21:05,393 --> 01:21:07,861 - Lost? 1187 01:21:07,929 --> 01:21:12,263 I'll tell you what you can do. You can act like a man. 1188 01:21:12,334 --> 01:21:15,030 Tell you something, smart guy. 1189 01:21:15,103 --> 01:21:17,594 You thought you had it all figured out. 1190 01:21:17,672 --> 01:21:20,334 Trust. Marriage. 1191 01:21:20,408 --> 01:21:24,003 All your goddamn love, love, love! 1192 01:21:25,080 --> 01:21:29,949 Now, you listen to me. I'm gonna talk to you about the goddamn law. 1193 01:21:30,018 --> 01:21:32,077 We serve the law! 1194 01:21:32,153 --> 01:21:34,781 We honor the law! 1195 01:21:34,856 --> 01:21:39,293 And sometimes, Counselor, we obey the law. 1196 01:21:39,361 --> 01:21:43,263 But, Counselor, 1197 01:21:43,331 --> 01:21:46,061 this is not one of those times. 1198 01:21:57,112 --> 01:22:00,377 Are you... WheezyJoe? 1199 01:22:00,448 --> 01:22:02,712 Which of youse is Smith? 1200 01:22:02,784 --> 01:22:06,880 Well, uh, we're here representing Mr. Smith... 1201 01:22:06,955 --> 01:22:09,253 on a matter of some delicacy. 1202 01:22:09,324 --> 01:22:12,225 - Who's the pigeon? - The what? 1203 01:22:12,294 --> 01:22:15,491 - Who you want me to kill? - Yes. Well, we would like you... 1204 01:22:15,563 --> 01:22:19,897 Mr. Smith would like you to neutralize... 1205 01:22:19,968 --> 01:22:23,768 terminate... render unto a state of... 1206 01:22:23,838 --> 01:22:26,602 so that she isn't so much, uh... uh... 1207 01:22:26,675 --> 01:22:29,872 - Breathing. - Yes. A business associate... 1208 01:22:29,945 --> 01:22:34,746 by the name of Marylin Rexroth-Doyle-Massey... Smith... Massey. 1209 01:22:34,816 --> 01:22:37,683 Is that one person? 1210 01:22:37,752 --> 01:22:41,552 I have some photos here... 1211 01:22:41,623 --> 01:22:45,753 of Miss Rexroth, and, um, that's the address that she's staying at. 1212 01:22:45,827 --> 01:22:49,194 That is Mr. Smith's address... Massey's... Smith... 1213 01:22:49,264 --> 01:22:52,233 It's Mr. Smith's address, although Mr. Smith is not directly involved. 1214 01:22:52,300 --> 01:22:56,498 Because of an impending legal matter, we need this to happen within a certain time frame. 1215 01:22:56,571 --> 01:22:59,870 - On an expedited basis. - You're in a rush. 1216 01:22:59,941 --> 01:23:02,273 We're not in a rush. Mr. Smith is. 1217 01:23:10,352 --> 01:23:15,380 Sh... Sh... Sh... She won't... She won't suffer, will she? 1218 01:23:16,491 --> 01:23:18,459 Not unless you pay extra. 1219 01:23:40,982 --> 01:23:45,180 Whistle's goin' "toot-toot." 1220 01:23:49,224 --> 01:23:51,954 What's the matter, Rexie? 1221 01:23:59,401 --> 01:24:01,869 Hello? 1222 01:24:02,971 --> 01:24:06,168 Yes, he's here. One moment, please. 1223 01:24:18,987 --> 01:24:21,547 Miles. 1224 01:24:21,623 --> 01:24:24,023 It's for you. 1225 01:24:30,031 --> 01:24:35,128 Hello? Yes? 1226 01:24:42,210 --> 01:24:44,201 What? 1227 01:24:46,714 --> 01:24:49,046 I see. 1228 01:24:49,117 --> 01:24:51,585 My God. 1229 01:24:51,653 --> 01:24:55,248 - What? - That was Marvin Untermeyer. 1230 01:24:55,323 --> 01:24:58,417 He was Rex Rexroth's personal attorney. 1231 01:24:58,493 --> 01:25:00,427 Yes? 1232 01:25:00,495 --> 01:25:02,360 What do you mean, he was? 1233 01:25:02,430 --> 01:25:07,197 Rex had a massive coronary in the middle of a business meeting. 1234 01:25:07,268 --> 01:25:09,202 He's dead. 1235 01:25:09,270 --> 01:25:11,670 Well, I'm very sorry to hear that, 1236 01:25:11,739 --> 01:25:14,572 but you two weren't... close, were you? 1237 01:25:14,642 --> 01:25:19,773 Marvin said that Rex's will was four years old. Never redrafted it. 1238 01:25:19,848 --> 01:25:23,079 He was stinkin'rich. Yes? 1239 01:25:25,587 --> 01:25:27,578 Everything goes to Marylin. 1240 01:25:34,462 --> 01:25:36,589 She's not poor. She's richer than you. 1241 01:25:36,664 --> 01:25:39,656 She is exposed. No prenup. She's a sitting duck. 1242 01:25:39,734 --> 01:25:42,032 She's a sitting duck. Can't kill her. No need. Mm-hmm. 1243 01:25:42,103 --> 01:25:44,799 No. It would be pointless. She's exposed. It's pointless. 1244 01:25:44,873 --> 01:25:47,341 Exposed. Why kill the only woman you've ever loved when she's the richer party? 1245 01:25:47,408 --> 01:25:50,002 She's rich. And I love her. Don't need to kill her. 1246 01:25:50,078 --> 01:25:52,012 Ah. What? Ah! 1247 01:25:52,080 --> 01:25:54,947 WheezyJoe. What do you want? Joe! 1248 01:25:55,016 --> 01:25:58,315 Hi, it's Miles Smith... Mr. Smith... calling to say... 1249 01:25:58,386 --> 01:26:00,479 on behalf of myself, that it is... No-go. 1250 01:26:00,555 --> 01:26:02,420 Uh, no-go concerning Marylin. 1251 01:26:02,490 --> 01:26:06,221 I'm speaking with no knowledge. This is what Mr. Smith wants. 1252 01:26:06,294 --> 01:26:08,489 This is what I want. 1253 01:26:08,563 --> 01:26:11,930 I am Mr. Smith. Thank you. 1254 01:26:13,134 --> 01:26:15,329 That was good. 1255 01:26:15,403 --> 01:26:18,702 - You think I'm protected? - Ehh... You... 1256 01:26:18,773 --> 01:26:20,604 Am I protected? I think it would hold up. 1257 01:26:20,675 --> 01:26:23,075 - Marylin. - Yes, yes. Marylin. 1258 01:26:23,144 --> 01:26:26,307 - What do we do? What if he's on his way there? - Yes. Oh! 1259 01:26:26,381 --> 01:26:29,817 - If he's on his way there... - Oh, no! Marylin! 1260 01:26:29,884 --> 01:26:34,548 Get her out and buy some time. Buy some time! 1261 01:26:39,661 --> 01:26:41,458 Hello? 1262 01:26:41,529 --> 01:26:43,690 Marylin, you must leave the house immediately. 1263 01:26:43,765 --> 01:26:45,756 It's imperative that you leave the house. Hello, Miles. 1264 01:26:45,833 --> 01:26:49,325 - Hello, dear. - Now, Miles, pending final settlement, 1265 01:26:49,404 --> 01:26:52,202 you know that I'm entitled to use the house. No, no, no! You don't understand! 1266 01:26:52,273 --> 01:26:54,298 It's an emergency! An emergency! 1267 01:26:54,375 --> 01:26:58,971 What is it? I forgot that I left the gas main on, which leaks! 1268 01:26:59,047 --> 01:27:02,813 - Good gosh. That sounds dangerous. - It's a deadly, odorless, colorless, 1269 01:27:02,884 --> 01:27:06,320 "liquid-less" gas that... that attacks the central nervous system... 1270 01:27:06,387 --> 01:27:09,413 and causes diarrhea and facial tics! 1271 01:27:09,490 --> 01:27:13,324 Okay. All right. Well, thanks for calling, Miles. Okay. Bye-bye. 1272 01:27:13,394 --> 01:27:17,694 I think she bought it. 1273 01:27:22,370 --> 01:27:25,567 So, tell me... 1274 01:27:27,342 --> 01:27:29,276 who sent you? 1275 01:27:31,346 --> 01:27:33,075 Mr. Smith. 1276 01:27:33,147 --> 01:27:35,138 Is this Mr. Smith? 1277 01:27:35,216 --> 01:27:36,979 No. 1278 01:27:38,753 --> 01:27:40,744 That's his lawyer. 1279 01:27:42,790 --> 01:27:46,521 Whatever they're paying you, I'll double. 1280 01:27:48,763 --> 01:27:51,698 We wait for WheezyJoe. We tell him it's a no-go. 1281 01:27:52,867 --> 01:27:55,358 Careful. Rottweilers. 1282 01:28:02,143 --> 01:28:05,044 Looks like she's gone. Looks like she bought it. 1283 01:28:05,113 --> 01:28:08,844 Good stuff. There's no one here. Except for the rottweilers. 1284 01:28:08,916 --> 01:28:13,114 Sure. Rottweilers. 1285 01:28:13,187 --> 01:28:15,621 You go that way. 1286 01:28:42,517 --> 01:28:44,576 WheezyJoe? 1287 01:29:17,385 --> 01:29:20,946 WheezyJoe, thank God you're in time. 1288 01:29:21,022 --> 01:29:24,458 You're not in time. We're in time. Thank God we're in time. 1289 01:29:24,525 --> 01:29:30,259 Look, it's a no-go. You get it? No one need be the wiser, so you can just go on home. 1290 01:29:30,331 --> 01:29:33,459 Good-bye. You know, thank you so much. 1291 01:29:33,534 --> 01:29:36,367 Hear that? Okay? No, no. No, no. No, no. 1292 01:29:36,437 --> 01:29:40,305 No-go. No contract. It's off. It's... 1293 01:29:40,375 --> 01:29:43,344 Will you explain to the lunkhead that it's a no-go? No-go. It's a no-go. 1294 01:29:43,411 --> 01:29:47,006 We'll settle your contract later. Look, you're fired, pal. Let it go. Walk away. 1295 01:29:47,081 --> 01:29:50,278 - Golden parachute. - Don't let the screen door hit you. Does he speak any language? 1296 01:29:50,351 --> 01:29:52,546 Here's what happened, Mr. Carnera. We feel that... 1297 01:29:52,620 --> 01:29:55,145 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1298 01:30:11,806 --> 01:30:14,639 Wheezy.! Uh... 1299 01:30:28,122 --> 01:30:30,249 Told him it was a no-go. 1300 01:30:54,849 --> 01:30:56,942 Gentlemen. Freddy. 1301 01:31:00,354 --> 01:31:03,346 - Hello, Marylin. - Hello, Miles. 1302 01:31:05,226 --> 01:31:09,629 - This is where we first met, remember? - Of course I remember. 1303 01:31:11,032 --> 01:31:16,368 It's hard to believe that when you walk out that door today, you'll be walking out of my life forever. 1304 01:31:17,738 --> 01:31:19,433 It's not something I wanted either. 1305 01:31:19,507 --> 01:31:21,498 But, then, I guess... 1306 01:31:22,810 --> 01:31:25,301 something inside of me died... 1307 01:31:25,379 --> 01:31:28,940 when I realized that you'd hired a goon to kill me. 1308 01:31:29,016 --> 01:31:32,577 Wait a minute. You hired him to kill me. No. Both of you wait a minute. 1309 01:31:32,653 --> 01:31:35,781 - Nobody hired anyone to kill anyone. - Hear, hear. 1310 01:31:35,857 --> 01:31:38,883 Apparently, from what I can gather, a burglar broke into your house. 1311 01:31:38,960 --> 01:31:41,485 Miles's house. 1312 01:31:41,562 --> 01:31:45,658 A burglar broke in intending to loot the place, uh, repented, 1313 01:31:45,733 --> 01:31:49,100 became despondent over his lifestyle and shot himself. 1314 01:31:49,170 --> 01:31:53,630 - So where does that leave you and me? - Well, we've outlined a settlement. 1315 01:31:53,708 --> 01:31:59,647 My client is prepared to consider a reconciliation. 1316 01:31:59,714 --> 01:32:03,013 But how could I trust you, Miles, after all this? 1317 01:32:03,084 --> 01:32:07,020 See, that's exactly right. The point is... You wounded me first, Marylin. 1318 01:32:07,088 --> 01:32:10,353 I'm not proud of what I've done, but God knows, I did trust you once. 1319 01:32:10,424 --> 01:32:16,158 If you couldjust... just give us another chance. 1320 01:32:16,230 --> 01:32:21,258 But I think my client is well beyond the point of considering... 1321 01:32:21,335 --> 01:32:25,328 How could I ever trust you again? I mean, really trust you, Miles? 1322 01:32:39,687 --> 01:32:43,714 Marylin, there is nothing in the Massey prenup that says... 1323 01:32:43,791 --> 01:32:47,022 it can't be executed after the parties wed. 1324 01:32:48,796 --> 01:32:53,824 Well, if this, uh, indeed is a Massey prenup, 1325 01:32:53,901 --> 01:32:57,803 and a cursory examination tends to support that it is, then... 1326 01:33:00,141 --> 01:33:02,905 Oh, my God, Marylin. You're exposed. 1327 01:33:06,781 --> 01:33:08,214 Marylin. 1328 01:33:17,425 --> 01:33:20,155 Counselor! Freddy! 1329 01:33:21,495 --> 01:33:23,827 Freddy.! Come on, Freddy.! No fair.! 1330 01:33:23,898 --> 01:33:25,991 Freddy.! 1331 01:33:30,137 --> 01:33:35,165 Did you hear something? Only the patter of little lawyers' feet. 1332 01:33:40,514 --> 01:33:43,711 Where did you find Howard? 1333 01:33:43,784 --> 01:33:46,947 The actor? From a TV producer. 1334 01:33:47,021 --> 01:33:52,357 I think you know him. I gave him an idea for a new show, so he made me a partner. 1335 01:33:58,466 --> 01:34:01,799 I guess that means I'm a partner. I guess it does. 1336 01:34:04,538 --> 01:34:07,234 And what exactly is it we're partners in? 1337 01:34:14,949 --> 01:34:18,043 Who gets what and who gets who? 1338 01:34:18,119 --> 01:34:22,078 You'll find out on America's Funniest Divorce Videos. 1339 01:34:22,156 --> 01:34:26,422 Here's the star of our show, Gus Petch.! 1340 01:34:28,829 --> 01:34:31,821 You goddamn right, folks. I'm Gus Petch. 1341 01:34:31,899 --> 01:34:36,893 And we got a great show for ya. We gon' make you laugh. We gon' make you cry. 1342 01:34:36,971 --> 01:34:41,965 - But most of all, we gon' nail yo'... - Ass.! 1343 01:34:42,043 --> 01:34:46,343 Nail your ass! Nail your ass! 1344 01:34:46,414 --> 01:34:50,908 Nail your ass.! 1345 01:34:57,758 --> 01:35:02,661 Gus.! Gus.! Gus.! Gus.! Gus.! Gus.! Gus.! Gus.!