1 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:27,118 - So, how do you like this rain, Danny? - I'm sick of it, Jim. 2 00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:30,788 Well, it seems Mr. Sunshine should be peeking through those early morning clouds. 3 00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:33,365 - Yeah, promises, promises. - Folks, tell you what. 4 00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:36,663 We have a question for you, and the first caller with the right answer wins... 5 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:39,864 An orthopedic tractor seat cushion courtesy of Handy's Hardware. 6 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:43,340 - Okay, he was a recent two-term president. - Of the Moose Lodge? 7 00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,343 No, no, little buddy. 8 00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:49,049 The ex-president of the United States and, many say, the most popular in history. 9 00:00:49,349 --> 00:00:51,647 The first president to be divorced in office. 10 00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:54,379 - And he's moving right here to... - Mooseport.! 11 00:00:54,487 --> 00:00:56,614 - Okay, we got a caller here. 12 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,089 - Judy Dunkle, can you name him? - Would that be Eagle Cole? 13 00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:01,285 - Monroe "Eagle" Cole.! 14 00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:03,294 Hey, congratulations.! You're a winner, Judy.! 15 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,830 - Good morning, Handy. - Morning, Kent. Hey, looks good. 16 00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:08,093 Yeah, yeah. Mornin', Harve. 17 00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:10,499 - Mornin', Kent. - Mornin', Harve. - Morning, Handy. 18 00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:13,163 - Morning, Harve. - Morning, Morris. - Morning, Handy. 19 00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:15,468 Morning, Morris. Morning, Reuben. 20 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:18,271 - Good morning, Handy! - Morning, Stu. Morning, Fern. 21 00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:21,609 - Good morning, Handy. - Morning! 22 00:01:21,714 --> 00:01:24,615 - New socks, Harve? - Yeah. 23 00:01:24,717 --> 00:01:27,151 I like 'em. They go well with... each other. 24 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,778 - Thanks. - Good morning, Handy! 25 00:01:29,889 --> 00:01:33,347 - Oh, hi, Mandy. I didn't see you there. - Oh. 26 00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:35,587 Ready, boys? Get it together, now. 27 00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:38,289 - One, two. Yeah! 28 00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:40,866 Nice. Good job. 29 00:01:46,372 --> 00:01:49,739 - Mornin'! 30 00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:52,141 Mornin', Irma. 31 00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:56,841 Hey. What you eating? Hey, Bruce. 32 00:01:56,950 --> 00:02:00,181 - Hey, Daddy's home. 33 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,186 Come on, Plunger. Get going. 34 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,256 - Hey, baby! - Martha, good morning. 35 00:02:04,357 --> 00:02:06,291 6:30 is too damn early. 36 00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:08,587 It's not too early for Bruce, right? 37 00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:10,822 Bruce doesn't care what time it is. 38 00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:14,195 - Bruce got a little morning breath going. - Do you believe this? 39 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:19,670 I mean, he decides to come a week early, and they expect us to get all that work done? 40 00:02:19,772 --> 00:02:22,332 Well, he's the president. He's kinda used to gettin' what he wants. 41 00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,342 We'll get it done. 42 00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:28,141 Do you know what I like about Bruce? When he's here, my nose looks normal. 43 00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:31,706 Yeah, but his nose fits his face, boss. 44 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:35,686 - You're not funny, Bob. Let's go. 45 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:38,052 Who do we have writing the speech for Tuesday? 46 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,058 Yeah. No, I don't like him. 47 00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:47,090 - Hold, please. - Hold on one second. Hold on one second. 48 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,073 Copy that. Go! 49 00:02:57,777 --> 00:03:00,405 Lucky bounce, Mr. President.! 50 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,346 You know what they say... I'd rather be lucky than good. 51 00:03:05,718 --> 00:03:08,084 So, Mr. President, what are you gonna do next? 52 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:11,589 Oh, so many offers, Chi Chi. It's an embarrassment of riches. 53 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,818 First there's the Farewell World Tour. 54 00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:17,727 Chance for me to say good-bye and thank you to all my wonderful friends. 55 00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:19,855 Writing my memoirs. 56 00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:23,333 Then I'm doing something I haven't done in 26 years... putting my feet up... 57 00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:26,132 reading a newspaper without interruptions. 58 00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:29,902 Sounds good. Settle back in that beautiful place you have in Baltimore. 59 00:03:30,009 --> 00:03:33,069 Uh, afraid the First Lady got that one... 60 00:03:33,179 --> 00:03:35,443 in the divorce. 61 00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:39,006 - Oh, right. - She got the best years of my life. 62 00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:41,780 But the one thing she won't get is my title. 63 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,822 To the house? 64 00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:46,414 No, the title, "Mr. President." 65 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,460 Ohh! 66 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,529 Unless donkeys fly... 67 00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:53,599 they'll be calling me "Mr. President" for the rest of my life. 68 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:58,000 She can have Baltimore. I'm fine with my lovely little summer place... 69 00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:00,572 Mooseport. 70 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,297 Four-tango-x-ray, hold short of runway 1-2. 71 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:34,100 Sorry, Sally. We have the former president of the United States on final. 72 00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:36,334 We've got orders to let him land first. 73 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,342 - Hold short. - Damn it. 74 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,118 Everybody, here we go.! Stay sharp.! 75 00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:25,515 - Welcome to the Mooseport White House, Mr. President. - Thank you. 76 00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:27,991 - All secure. - Ahh! 77 00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:30,562 Home, sweet home. 78 00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:35,123 Uh, it gets more magnificent every year. Ahh! 79 00:05:35,234 --> 00:05:39,068 - Take the dog for a pee, Grace. 80 00:05:41,774 --> 00:05:45,073 Oh, Jesus. It looks like Tiger Wood�s funeral. 81 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,646 I'd like to go over some of these speaking engagements... 82 00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:50,215 Hold on, Bullard. I have to take a quick cabinet meeting. 83 00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:59,553 - Get in there.! - Oh, hey! 84 00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:04,357 Oh, sir.! I'm sorry.! Sorry. 85 00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:06,364 Handy Harrison. 86 00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,457 - It's an honor to meet you, sir. - Get his weapon.! Back off! 87 00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:10,297 - I got it. - You all right, sir? 88 00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:13,031 - I didn't realize one of the workers was here. - I'm just one of the workers. 89 00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:15,630 - I'm sure he's been checked out. - I've been... I checked out. L... 90 00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:17,767 Oh, yes, sir. Everybody's been totally cleared. 91 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,243 I'll get out of here. I'll... Let me... Yeah. 92 00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:22,712 - Boy. I'm sorry. - All clear. 93 00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:26,546 I just want to say it's an honor to work for you, really. 94 00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:29,746 Thank you. Thank you very much. 95 00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:31,949 Well, uh... 96 00:06:33,826 --> 00:06:36,420 I did come in here for a reason. 97 00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:39,157 Oh! Right. Sure. Go right ahead. Yeah. 98 00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:41,165 - Sorry. - Sure. 99 00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:43,462 - Aah! 100 00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:46,538 - I'll get that. I'll fix all that. 101 00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:48,937 All that will be fixed. 102 00:06:53,045 --> 00:06:54,945 The president. 103 00:06:55,047 --> 00:06:58,016 At last! 104 00:06:58,117 --> 00:07:01,086 Everyone, let's give the president a little privacy, shall we? 105 00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:04,520 Absolutely. We can go over these offers anytime, Mr. President. 106 00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:07,457 Hold on. Hold on. How's it coming? 107 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,460 We're finalizing dates this week, sir. 108 00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:12,588 Twenty-six speaking engagements, 14 days, 120 thou per. 109 00:07:12,698 --> 00:07:16,134 - And? - Clinton got a hundred thousand, sir. 110 00:07:16,235 --> 00:07:19,204 - And my autobiography? - Random House is offering 14 mil. 111 00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:22,433 HarperCollins is at 13, but is offering a better ghostwriter. 112 00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:25,010 - Ohh. Excellent. Keep working it. - Here you go. 113 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,375 We're up to 147 honorary doctorates... 114 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,108 93 offers to be on the boards of Fortune 500 companies. 115 00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:33,481 Soova Motors is offering you five million dollars to do a car commercial... 116 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:35,486 to air only in Norway. 117 00:07:35,588 --> 00:07:38,182 And of course, the big enchilada. 118 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:43,493 The Monroe "Eagle" Cole Presidential Library. 119 00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:45,723 I like it! 120 00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:50,462 European rationalism interwoven with American modernism... 121 00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:53,596 a metaphor of organic growth... 122 00:07:53,706 --> 00:07:57,665 a man-made mountain over which soars the Eagle. 123 00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:01,372 It's fantastic. Is it big enough? 124 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:04,746 - It's, uh, 40,000 square feet, sir. 125 00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:07,911 - And? - Clinton's is 20,000, sir. 126 00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:09,885 Excellent. 127 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:13,356 It's the former first lady, sir. Shall I tell her you're out? 128 00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:15,359 No, no, no. 129 00:08:15,461 --> 00:08:17,725 Will you excuse me? 130 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,798 Here he is, Mrs. Cole. 131 00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:23,267 And the problem is? 132 00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:28,170 As the man who has just gotten the most lucrative speaking fees, the biggest book deal... 133 00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:31,835 the most board offers in history, I would think you'd know. 134 00:08:31,944 --> 00:08:34,777 Come on, honey lamb. You don't believe all that nonsense, do you? 135 00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:37,714 No, Eagle. I believe it's just the tip of the iceberg. 136 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,580 Charlotte, lamb, we settled. 137 00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:42,051 Pioneers settle. 138 00:08:42,154 --> 00:08:44,054 We rested. 139 00:08:44,156 --> 00:08:47,125 - Seven million. Don't forget... you're selling Mooseport. - Charlotte! 140 00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:49,126 It's a vacation home, Monroe. 141 00:08:49,228 --> 00:08:51,355 You thieving, conniving, ungrateful... 142 00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:54,797 It's been a pleasure speaking with you, Mrs. Cole. He'll call you back. 143 00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:58,735 Yeah, you too. Try to talk some sense into him. 144 00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:03,174 - Seven million. - It's a negotiation. 145 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,870 You've handled dictators. You've handled terrorists. 146 00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:09,470 Terrorists were easier, I swear to God! 147 00:09:12,351 --> 00:09:15,047 Breathe. 148 00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:19,215 Let the lawyers handle it. Breathe. 149 00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:21,816 Ohh! 150 00:09:21,928 --> 00:09:25,420 - Oh, Grace, you're a miracle. - Oh! 151 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,558 Oh. Sorry. 152 00:09:29,669 --> 00:09:32,570 No, no, no. Come on in. Can I help you? 153 00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:36,335 Well, I don't mean to disturb you. I'm all done in here. 154 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,045 I mean, I'm done fixing it. 155 00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:43,809 That flushing you heard... that's work-related, not personal. 156 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:46,248 Oh. 157 00:09:47,386 --> 00:09:49,479 Hey, we're done. 158 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,853 - What? Plunger! 159 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,418 Plunger! Plunger, stop it! 160 00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:59,657 - Come here! 161 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,892 What are you doing, huh? 162 00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:04,868 - Hey, you trying to get us both shot? 163 00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:08,930 How many times I gotta tell you... keep that thing in your... body. 164 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:11,032 Bad dog! 165 00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:16,977 - You just let him do that right in front of you? - I don't have cable, man. 166 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:29,260 Come on, boy. Come on. 167 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,599 Get up, get up, get up! 168 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,105 - Sally! 169 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,909 Spit it up, froggy. Thank you. 170 00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:47,980 Sally! You stay off her couch, Plunger! 171 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,174 Sally! Sally, hey! You up here? 172 00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:53,148 - Guess what.! - Downstairs. 173 00:10:53,252 --> 00:10:55,686 - Hey, hey. Guess what came. - Shh. 174 00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:57,688 - Jane Ellen's delivering. 175 00:10:57,790 --> 00:10:59,849 - Already? Wow. How's she doing? - Sally? 176 00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:02,018 - Here comes another one.! - She's up to sextuplets. 177 00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:04,494 Sextuplets? 178 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,861 Seven, right? Six. Seven! 179 00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,866 No, six, six. 180 00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:20,769 Chester! Huh? 181 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,781 Ah, you did it, boy. Yeah. 182 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:28,712 Oh, boy. Oh, look at those paws. It's gonna be a giant. 183 00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:31,722 I know. 184 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,723 Hey. So guess who I saw today. 185 00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:43,301 - Who? - Take a guess. 186 00:11:43,402 --> 00:11:45,233 - Handy.! - Come on. Take one guess. 187 00:11:45,337 --> 00:11:47,237 The president. 188 00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:50,433 Oh, that's right, because everybody knows he's here. Okay. 189 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,569 But not everybody gets a check for 17,000 big ones. 190 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:57,376 - Really? - Seventeen thousand. 191 00:11:57,483 --> 00:12:00,816 Man, you know what? I just, uh... 192 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,820 I think I'm finally ready. 193 00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:09,227 Where are those towels? 194 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:21,335 - You're ready? - Yeah, yeah. 195 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,969 - Ready to... - To get the new truck. 196 00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:30,310 A big one. A big one. You know, no more three trips to the lumberyard for me. 197 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:33,351 - It's gonna be great. - Dina, false alarm! 198 00:12:36,021 --> 00:12:37,921 I'll take him. 199 00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:40,583 I'm not sensing any enthusiasm. 200 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:43,161 I'm thrilled... about your new truck... 201 00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:45,423 really. 202 00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:51,462 Hey, look, you know what? Tonight, after the party thing? 203 00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:54,334 Let's do something to celebrate. 204 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,170 Let's just go out, me and you. A little romantic dinner. 205 00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,245 - Sure. - Yeah, it'll be great. 206 00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:06,680 Okay. All right. Dina, say hi to Fred and the kids. 207 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,812 All right. See you later. 208 00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:13,619 - Plunger, let's go.! - Well, he needs a new truck... 209 00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:16,718 - So he can load all that crap that he's full of. 210 00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:35,444 Here he is.! 211 00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:43,781 You look great, sir! 212 00:13:43,889 --> 00:13:45,789 Glad you're here, sir. 213 00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:47,791 Good to see you, sir. 214 00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:51,158 - Over here! - Right here, Mr. President! 215 00:13:51,263 --> 00:13:54,460 We're happy to have you here, sir.! 216 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,660 Glad you're back home, sir. 217 00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:09,046 Here we are. Mmm! 218 00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:12,584 - Morris! Morris! - What? 219 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,813 - He's here. He's here. - Al, "Hail to the Chief." "Hail to the Chief." 220 00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:18,652 Welcome, Mr. President! 221 00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:21,191 - Sir, welcome.! - Welcome back.! 222 00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:24,023 - Fifteen minutes. - An hour. 223 00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:26,256 - Thirty. - Forty-five, and it's a deal. 224 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:29,061 - Okay. - Whoo! 225 00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:30,897 Yea.! 226 00:14:36,742 --> 00:14:40,269 - Sorry. 227 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:43,348 Good evening. I'd like to thank everybody for coming. 228 00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:46,907 Tonight is a very special night for Mooseport. 229 00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:51,956 In the words of Hunt Langley, who put it so eloquently in The Moose Call... 230 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:54,423 "The Eagle Has Landed!" 231 00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:57,762 How original. 232 00:14:57,863 --> 00:15:01,355 On behalf of the town council, let's give a big Mooseport welcome... 233 00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,367 to our newest citizen... 234 00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:07,530 Monroe "Eagle" Cole! 235 00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:12,935 - Whoo.! - Yea! 236 00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:16,173 Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. 237 00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:20,116 As you all know, it's been over a year since I vacationed up here. 238 00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:22,119 So, first off... 239 00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:25,019 to the rumor that I'm only here because... 240 00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:28,389 I lost my Baltimore house in my divorce... 241 00:15:28,494 --> 00:15:30,394 absolutely true. 242 00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:33,659 - I am a Mooseport resident... 243 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:37,725 and even though I didn't get a chance to meet many of you when I was up here as president... 244 00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:41,431 - I certainly hope to... 245 00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:46,340 I certainly would, uh... 246 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:50,779 - Hope to get to know you all a lot better. 247 00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:55,013 Maybe we could, uh, hit a few birdies or, uh, eagles... 248 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,452 - At your local golf links. 249 00:15:57,556 --> 00:16:00,787 Anyway, since I'm not here to ask for money... 250 00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:04,852 I don't know what else to say... 251 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,864 except to thank you so much... 252 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,434 for your hospitality... 253 00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:12,129 and see you around the burg. 254 00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:14,228 Hear! Hear! 255 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:16,675 - Let's go. - Thank you, Mr. President. That was great. 256 00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:19,007 - Let's go. - Thank you, Mr. President. That was great. 257 00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:21,739 Uh, could a few of us have a word with you in private? 258 00:16:21,847 --> 00:16:24,315 The president has a limited amount of time. Sorry. 259 00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:28,318 - This'll take just a second. It's kind of urgent. - Certainly. 260 00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,718 - Right this way. - Excuse me. 261 00:16:34,626 --> 00:16:37,959 Mr. President, I'm sorry the timing isn't better... 262 00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:41,157 but it seems that your arrival has coincided with something of a crisis. 263 00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:44,997 Folks, I'm the Crisismeister. Shall I call the marines? 264 00:16:48,807 --> 00:16:51,537 - Would you care to sit down, please? - Thank you. 265 00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:54,203 Mr. President, Amos Harmon... 266 00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:57,646 our beloved mayor of 24 years, just passed away. 267 00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,480 - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. - Anyway, sir... 268 00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:04,044 the town council met an hour ago in an emergency session... 269 00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:07,785 and voted unanimously to beseech you, sir... 270 00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:09,827 to be our mayor. 271 00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:12,055 Your mayor? 272 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:18,830 - Mayor! - That's good. 273 00:17:18,937 --> 00:17:20,837 Yes, sir. 274 00:17:20,939 --> 00:17:25,399 You see, before he died, Mayor Harmon was running, as always, unopposed. 275 00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:27,775 And with the filing deadline tomorrow... 276 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,008 we were having a dilly of a time trying to find a replacement. 277 00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:34,176 And then Reuben here pipes up and says, "Why not get the president? '" 278 00:17:34,286 --> 00:17:37,187 I said, "Get the president!" 279 00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:39,849 In our 240-year history, there would be no greater honor bestowed on our town. 280 00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:42,426 To have as our mayor the most popular president in history. 281 00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:45,793 Popular, with approval ratings in the 70s. 282 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,366 - Eighties, actually. - Uh, 85. 283 00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,935 - Eighty-five. - Eighty-five? Unbelievable. 284 00:17:51,036 --> 00:17:54,233 Mr. President, you simply must say yes. 285 00:17:54,339 --> 00:17:58,571 Well, folks, uh, even though I'm not in the Oval Office any longer... 286 00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:01,578 I do have plans. 287 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,080 Sally, please. We're in the middle of something here. 288 00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:08,950 Sorry. L... I was just... getting my coat. 289 00:18:09,054 --> 00:18:12,615 - I'll come back. - Uh, hold on a second. Sally, is it? 290 00:18:12,724 --> 00:18:16,125 - Yes. - Sally, you seem like an engaged citizen. 291 00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:18,890 Uh, what would you think about my being mayor? 292 00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:21,056 Mayor? Really? 293 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:23,657 It was my idea! 294 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,294 Um, I think you should do it. 295 00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:31,502 And then maybe you could do something about that landing situation. 296 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:34,306 - The landing situation? - Uh, yeah. 297 00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:36,847 I'm a veterinarian... 298 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:40,316 and I had a critically ill donkey in my helicopter this morning... 299 00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:43,115 and I almost lost her because... 300 00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:45,690 the president just had to land first. 301 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:49,955 Oh, I'm terribly sorry. That must have been a procedural thing. 302 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:52,929 - Standard security protocol. - Standard security. 303 00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:56,125 Maybe if you were mayor, you could do something about that. 304 00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,003 Hmm. Absolutely. 305 00:19:00,105 --> 00:19:02,938 Things like that shouldn't happen. I appreciate your opinion. 306 00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:06,670 - It's really, really nice to meet you, Mr. President. - Nice to meet you too, Sally. 307 00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:10,938 - Thank you. - Thank you. 308 00:19:13,952 --> 00:19:16,045 Well, Mr. President? 309 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,784 - I'm sorry, gentlemen. - Hold on a second there, Bullard. Maybe... 310 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:23,692 Excuse me, Mr. President. I suggest that we give them an answer tomorrow. 311 00:19:23,795 --> 00:19:27,390 - Gentlemen, he'll sleep on it. - Yes, l-I'll sleep on it. 312 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,024 So we'll hear from you in the morning, sir? 313 00:19:30,135 --> 00:19:33,229 You have my word. You have the Eagle's word. 314 00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:35,238 Thank you, Mr. President! 315 00:19:37,476 --> 00:19:40,877 By God, that's just the way he sounds on TV! 316 00:19:44,983 --> 00:19:49,079 Hey! Sorry. Connelly's septic tank broke again. 317 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:52,214 - Oh. Stood up for a septic tank. - No. No. 318 00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:54,519 - You look good. Yeah. - Yeah? 319 00:19:55,994 --> 00:19:57,894 - Eww! - What? 320 00:19:57,996 --> 00:20:00,191 - You stink! - Too much cologne? 321 00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:02,995 No, not enough... Did you think about a shower? 322 00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:05,501 L... Yes, I did, but then I would have been more late. 323 00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,902 I didn't think it was bad. 324 00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:11,601 You know how you can't smell your own smell? That's what we got going on here. 325 00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,678 Yeah. So is this thing over? 326 00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:16,077 It's over for me. 327 00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:18,672 Hey, what do you wanna do? You wanna get something to eat? 328 00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:21,150 I'm not that hungry. I think I'm just gonna go home. 329 00:20:21,253 --> 00:20:25,451 What? Is it that bad? I'll take a shower. We can take a shower. 330 00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:27,684 I already took a shower. 331 00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:30,728 - Come on, Sally. What's the problem? - I don't know. 332 00:20:30,829 --> 00:20:34,697 I'm just... You know, for the past six years... 333 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:38,937 Today, when you said you were... 334 00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:46,305 I don't know, Handy. Why don't you tell me what the problem is? 335 00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:48,777 I don't have a problem. 336 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:52,646 Well, that's the problem. 337 00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:55,219 - What do you... - I'll see you tomorrow. 338 00:20:58,890 --> 00:21:03,088 I should've showered. 339 00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:07,230 - Your newspapers. - Good morning, ma'am. 340 00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:09,630 - Beautiful, Ramona. Beautiful. - Today's agenda, ma'am. 341 00:21:09,735 --> 00:21:12,761 Thank you, John. Perfect, Smitty. 342 00:21:12,871 --> 00:21:15,669 For God's sakes, save me from Mooseport, Rod. 343 00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:18,834 - Well, how 'bout a job at the Pentagon. 344 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:23,005 - Gotta go. Good morning, Mr. President. 345 00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,988 Good morning, good morning, good morning. 346 00:21:30,088 --> 00:21:32,556 - Oh, Smitty! Thank you so much. - Sir. 347 00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:35,752 - What's on tap today? - Read the paper. 348 00:21:35,861 --> 00:21:38,455 Finally! Grace, you're wonderful. 349 00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:40,861 Then you can take that jog you've been wanting to take. 350 00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:44,993 Mmm. Fabulous. Oh, uh, about that mayor thing... 351 00:21:45,103 --> 00:21:48,004 Oh, don't worry, Mr. President. We'll take care of it. 352 00:21:48,106 --> 00:21:52,099 While the president is flattered, he declines. His schedule precludes him... 353 00:21:52,210 --> 00:21:53,645 - Actually, I'm considering it. - Sir? 354 00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:55,636 - Actually, I'm considering it. - Sir? 355 00:21:55,747 --> 00:21:58,011 Yeah, why not? 356 00:21:58,116 --> 00:22:00,949 Largely ceremonial. Any work involved you can do. 357 00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:04,545 We run everything else we're involved in. Why not Mooseport? 358 00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:06,556 W-Well, sir, actually... 359 00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:09,422 As your first move out of office, you become mayor? 360 00:22:09,528 --> 00:22:13,191 It's, uh, beneath you. And from a P.R. Standpoint, it's... 361 00:22:13,298 --> 00:22:15,630 Fantastic. 362 00:22:15,734 --> 00:22:18,168 For the love of public service, Eagle Cole... 363 00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:21,671 the most beloved president since Jack Kennedy, agrees to help. 364 00:22:21,773 --> 00:22:25,539 Perfect. And don't forget the Wicked Witch of the West Wing. 365 00:22:25,644 --> 00:22:28,477 She can't claim this is a vacation house if I'm the mayor, can she? 366 00:22:28,580 --> 00:22:32,209 - True. - Wait until the filing deadline. 367 00:22:32,317 --> 00:22:35,684 - Then call them with the good news. - Yes, sir. 368 00:22:35,787 --> 00:22:39,587 Mayor. We're going to run "Turdport". 369 00:22:53,972 --> 00:22:57,135 Thank you very much, gentlemen. I won't let Mooseport down. 370 00:22:57,242 --> 00:22:59,506 You have the Eagle's word, okay? 371 00:22:59,611 --> 00:23:03,047 - Thank you, Mr. President! Good-bye now! - Bye! 372 00:23:03,148 --> 00:23:05,673 - It was my idea! - Congratulations, Kent. 373 00:23:05,784 --> 00:23:09,743 - Congratulations, Stu. - Oh, Morris, you might want to read this. 374 00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:13,717 Holy crap! 375 00:23:13,825 --> 00:23:16,453 Thank you so much for meeting with us again, sir. 376 00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:19,621 When we talked last night, nobody else had put in for mayor. 377 00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:23,064 Unbeknownst to us, Irma Brisker, our town registrar... 378 00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:26,467 took it upon herself to persuade Harold Harrison... 379 00:23:26,571 --> 00:23:28,869 You might know him as Handy Harrison, sir. 380 00:23:28,974 --> 00:23:32,171 Runs the hardware store. Doing some construction work on your home, I believe. 381 00:23:32,277 --> 00:23:34,802 - To run for mayor as well. - Well, okay then. 382 00:23:34,913 --> 00:23:37,541 You've got your mayor. If he wants it, he can have it. 383 00:23:37,649 --> 00:23:41,176 - Sir, it's a touch more complicated than that. - What's complicated? 384 00:23:41,286 --> 00:23:45,723 It's just that, you see, sir, it kind of got out in the press that you're both in. 385 00:23:45,824 --> 00:23:48,292 - What press? - Well... 386 00:23:48,393 --> 00:23:51,590 When the deadline passed, we called Hunt Langley down at The Moose Call. 387 00:23:51,696 --> 00:23:54,563 He said when this got around, it would be national news. 388 00:23:54,666 --> 00:23:58,227 Of course it will be national news. Press will say I'm trying to squash a bug. 389 00:23:58,336 --> 00:24:01,931 You can rest assured, sir, that not one of them said anything like that. 390 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,065 - Did they, Stu? - No, sir. None of them said that. 391 00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:07,111 A couple of them called it "David and Goliath," but none of them said that. 392 00:24:07,212 --> 00:24:08,975 What do you mean "them"? Who's "them"? 393 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:10,980 - NBC. - CBS. 394 00:24:11,082 --> 00:24:13,243 - Fox. It was really exciting! - Uh-huh. 395 00:24:13,351 --> 00:24:16,514 What, are you telling me the entire country thinks I'm running for mayor... 396 00:24:16,621 --> 00:24:18,521 against the man installing my toilets? 397 00:24:20,025 --> 00:24:22,459 But, sir, you said "Eagle's word." 398 00:24:22,561 --> 00:24:24,995 Ah, hell! 399 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,330 Stop eating the fertilizer. Go on over there. 400 00:24:31,436 --> 00:24:33,495 - Look.! It's the president.! - Do you see him? 401 00:24:33,605 --> 00:24:35,505 - Which car is he in? - Oh, yeah, it's him! 402 00:24:35,607 --> 00:24:39,668 - Company's coming, and Bruce is out again. 403 00:24:39,778 --> 00:24:42,338 - What is this? - That's Bruce the Moose, sir. 404 00:24:42,447 --> 00:24:44,608 It's a rescued animal. Handy's pet. 405 00:24:44,716 --> 00:24:46,809 Shouldn't it be in a zoo? 406 00:24:51,957 --> 00:24:55,120 - Afternoon, Mr. President. - Oh, hello, Handy. 407 00:24:55,227 --> 00:24:58,287 - Is everything okay with that water heater? - Everything is fine. 408 00:24:58,396 --> 00:25:00,762 - I just wondered if you had a minute. - Hey, I'm Bob. 409 00:25:00,866 --> 00:25:02,993 - I'm working for you too. - Bob, nice to see you. 410 00:25:03,101 --> 00:25:05,035 I'm sorry, Mr. President. Bob, Martha and Irma. 411 00:25:05,136 --> 00:25:06,626 Martha. Irma. 412 00:25:06,738 --> 00:25:08,706 - Paint. - Pipes. 413 00:25:08,807 --> 00:25:11,674 Wood products, like your last two cabinet appointments. 414 00:25:11,776 --> 00:25:15,507 - Handy, aren't you gonna introduce me? 415 00:25:15,614 --> 00:25:17,514 - Oh, sorry. This is Mandy. - Hi. 416 00:25:17,616 --> 00:25:20,050 Mandy and Handy. How cute. 417 00:25:20,151 --> 00:25:23,211 - Oh! - Uh, could we speak privately for a moment? 418 00:25:23,321 --> 00:25:26,688 Yeah. Sure. Wh... That's my office right over there. 419 00:25:26,791 --> 00:25:29,316 Outstanding. 420 00:25:31,329 --> 00:25:35,698 Excuse me. I have a private meeting with the president. 421 00:25:42,807 --> 00:25:45,275 Iguana on your left, sir. 422 00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:50,447 Whoo! 423 00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:52,779 - What a dump. - Well, sir. 424 00:25:52,884 --> 00:25:56,081 - This is it. - Oh, it's cozy. Nice office, yeah. 425 00:25:56,187 --> 00:25:58,747 Thank you. How can I help you, Mr. President? 426 00:25:58,857 --> 00:26:01,724 Well, Handy, as I'm sure you know, we've both put in for mayor. 427 00:26:01,826 --> 00:26:03,885 - No, I didn't know that, sir. - You didn't know that? 428 00:26:03,995 --> 00:26:07,487 I knew that I put in. I thought I was just doin' the town a favor, that's all. 429 00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:09,760 I thought I was running all by myself. 430 00:26:09,868 --> 00:26:12,132 As you can see, we have a bit of a situation. 431 00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:15,104 Yeah, it's... We got a bit of a pickle here. 432 00:26:15,206 --> 00:26:18,869 Bit of a pickle. Exactly. So I was thinking that one of us should withdraw. 433 00:26:18,977 --> 00:26:20,911 I would be happy if it were me. 434 00:26:21,012 --> 00:26:25,642 Lord knows I have nothing left to prove, much less being the mayor of anything. 435 00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:27,980 But I have a P.R. Problem. 436 00:26:28,086 --> 00:26:30,748 Oh. Ohh. P.R. Prob... Is it serious? 437 00:26:30,855 --> 00:26:34,154 Well, it got out to the press that I had given my word. 438 00:26:34,259 --> 00:26:38,320 - Oh. Right. - You know, "You have the Eagle's word." 439 00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:41,661 - Right. Like on TV. - TV. Exactly. 440 00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:44,132 So, um... Well, look, uh... - 441 00:26:44,235 --> 00:26:46,430 You're a golfer, right? 442 00:26:46,538 --> 00:26:49,507 - Are you any good? - I get around. I get around. 443 00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:52,372 - Like a 10 handicap, maybe, on a good day. - Ten? Me too. 444 00:26:52,477 --> 00:26:55,412 - We should knock it around sometime. - That would be an honor. 445 00:26:55,513 --> 00:26:58,971 Well, uh, if you're trying to make a name for yourself in golf... 446 00:26:59,084 --> 00:27:01,814 you wouldn't, uh, start off by... 447 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,115 Oh. Nice shot. 448 00:27:04,222 --> 00:27:06,019 Challenging Tiger Woods. 449 00:27:06,124 --> 00:27:09,525 No, you'd start small... local tournaments. Same in politics. 450 00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,528 You don't start a political career... 451 00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:14,827 by running against the former president of the United States. 452 00:27:14,933 --> 00:27:17,458 - Fine. - Fine. 453 00:27:17,569 --> 00:27:21,266 It was a privilege to run. It's a privilege to withdraw. 454 00:27:22,607 --> 00:27:26,043 - Well, it's settled. - What's settled? 455 00:27:26,144 --> 00:27:28,635 It turns out we both put in for mayor, so I just withdrew. 456 00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:31,614 - Chicken! - I'm glad I could help with that P.R. Problem. 457 00:27:31,716 --> 00:27:35,675 Bruce is out of his pen again. Did anybody happen to notice that? 458 00:27:35,787 --> 00:27:39,018 He probably chewed through the rope. Bob, put him back. 459 00:27:39,124 --> 00:27:42,150 I already did it. Oh. Excuse me. I'm sorry. 460 00:27:42,260 --> 00:27:45,491 Sally, the president. We just had a meeting. 461 00:27:45,597 --> 00:27:48,794 We met last night when I was being stood up. 462 00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:52,529 Look, I'm sorry if I was rude to you. I'm really embarrassed. 463 00:27:52,637 --> 00:27:54,605 Rude? Don't be silly. No. 464 00:27:54,706 --> 00:27:58,699 - What you said helped convince me to be mayor. - Really? 465 00:27:58,810 --> 00:28:01,677 You're gonna do it! You're gonna be our mayor! Great! 466 00:28:01,780 --> 00:28:04,544 It is, isn't it? I'm so glad I ran into you. 467 00:28:04,649 --> 00:28:07,880 You know, I decided to get a dog. 468 00:28:07,986 --> 00:28:10,454 - I thought you already had a dog. - Yes, I do. 469 00:28:10,555 --> 00:28:12,523 - A great animal. A shih Tzu. - Westie. 470 00:28:12,624 --> 00:28:16,185 Westie needs a friend, and I thought if you were available... 471 00:28:16,294 --> 00:28:18,694 let's say tomorrow night, perhaps... 472 00:28:18,797 --> 00:28:21,595 we could discuss it over, uh, dinner. 473 00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:24,225 - Dinner? 474 00:28:24,335 --> 00:28:28,431 Yeah, I could really use your, uh, professional advice on this. 475 00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:30,633 - Really? My advice? - Mm-hmm. 476 00:28:30,742 --> 00:28:34,007 Uh, okay. Well, dinner would be fine. 477 00:28:34,112 --> 00:28:36,410 Great.! Looking forward to it. 478 00:28:36,514 --> 00:28:39,711 - My people will get in touch with your people. - I don't have people. 479 00:28:39,818 --> 00:28:41,843 But I could give you my number. 480 00:28:41,953 --> 00:28:45,684 Well, my people will get your number and we'll set up a time. 481 00:28:45,790 --> 00:28:49,749 I'm sure whatever time we do set, you'll be on time. 482 00:28:49,861 --> 00:28:54,093 - Absolutely. Looking forward to it. 483 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:57,534 See you on the links, sir. 484 00:28:57,635 --> 00:29:00,035 - And thanks again for being so helpful. - Yeah. Right. 485 00:29:02,707 --> 00:29:05,870 You mean rolling over. 486 00:29:10,682 --> 00:29:13,310 - Sally... - You know, Bruce is a baby. 487 00:29:13,418 --> 00:29:15,886 Babies like to chew things like rope. 488 00:29:20,258 --> 00:29:22,556 - Ooh-ooh. - Okay, then. 489 00:29:27,398 --> 00:29:29,696 Sally, is it me... 490 00:29:29,801 --> 00:29:35,068 or did you just get asked out by that president guy? 491 00:29:35,173 --> 00:29:39,303 Yes, I think I did. Probably couldn't chew through this, right? 492 00:29:39,410 --> 00:29:42,846 And-And is it me or did you just say yes... 493 00:29:42,947 --> 00:29:44,847 to the president guy? 494 00:29:46,484 --> 00:29:48,679 Yes, I think I did. 495 00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:51,756 Look, Sally, I'm sorry that I was late, okay... 496 00:29:51,856 --> 00:29:54,256 but you can't date the president because of that. 497 00:29:54,392 --> 00:29:57,793 - Do you really think that's the reason? - Why, then? 498 00:29:57,896 --> 00:29:59,830 Why not? 499 00:30:00,932 --> 00:30:02,900 Here. Use this. 500 00:30:10,308 --> 00:30:12,970 Shut up! 501 00:30:13,144 --> 00:30:17,877 Sally, I wanna talk to you! Sally, I wanna talk with... 502 00:30:17,982 --> 00:30:20,644 Thank you very much. It was very nice of you. 503 00:30:20,752 --> 00:30:22,947 - Say bye-bye now. - It's Irene. 504 00:30:23,054 --> 00:30:24,885 Mr. President! 505 00:30:24,989 --> 00:30:27,787 Yes, Handy. What is it? 506 00:30:30,128 --> 00:30:32,460 - Mr. President! - Thank you very much. 507 00:30:32,564 --> 00:30:35,192 Uh-huh? 508 00:30:39,537 --> 00:30:42,700 I can't do it, sir. I can't drop out of the mayor race. 509 00:30:42,807 --> 00:30:44,900 Excuse me? 510 00:30:45,009 --> 00:30:49,412 I, uh, I don't have the Eagle thing like you, but I'm a man of my word too. 511 00:30:49,514 --> 00:30:53,177 Every man's word's important. Isn't that true? 512 00:30:53,284 --> 00:30:55,081 Does he want money? Wh-What is it? 513 00:30:55,186 --> 00:30:59,122 If you stay in this race, then I'm-I'm sure you're gonna slaughter me, but... 514 00:31:00,358 --> 00:31:04,886 I'm runnin' for the mayor of Mooseport! 515 00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:12,401 Is he losin' his mind? 516 00:31:12,503 --> 00:31:14,596 L... uh... 517 00:31:20,845 --> 00:31:24,303 - What just happened? - You're runnin' against the president. 518 00:31:24,415 --> 00:31:27,441 And your girlfriend's datin' him. Mm-hmm. 519 00:31:28,486 --> 00:31:30,420 I repeat... mm-hmm! 520 00:31:32,156 --> 00:31:34,351 No, Larry, the president has no comment. 521 00:31:34,459 --> 00:31:36,791 No. No comment. Thank you. 522 00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:40,262 That's all the networks, 60 Minutes and Larry King. 523 00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:44,267 The handyman's girlfriend? His girlfriend? Why didn't you tell me? 524 00:31:44,369 --> 00:31:47,736 - I'm gonna look like an idiot. - I tried to tell you, Mr. President. Remember? 525 00:31:47,839 --> 00:31:51,866 Why didn't you try harder? What am I supposed to do now, apologize? 526 00:31:51,976 --> 00:31:55,036 - Back down? - You want to call Bert Langdon? 527 00:31:55,146 --> 00:31:58,115 For what? I don't need a campaign manager for this. 528 00:31:58,216 --> 00:32:02,277 - Hello? One second. Mr. President. 529 00:32:02,387 --> 00:32:05,379 Bert Langdon on line one. 530 00:32:07,892 --> 00:32:10,793 Bert, what a coincidence. What's shakin'? 531 00:32:10,895 --> 00:32:13,295 That's what I was gonna ask you, Eagle. 532 00:32:13,398 --> 00:32:15,298 It's deader than Nixon down here. 533 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,335 I'd be happy to roll up my sleeves and come up there if you want. 534 00:32:18,436 --> 00:32:21,303 Bert, I'm running against my plumber. Is there something I don't know? 535 00:32:21,406 --> 00:32:24,239 You watching Fox News? 536 00:32:24,342 --> 00:32:26,606 The results are quite interesting. 537 00:32:26,711 --> 00:32:28,679 The poll, of course, is preliminary... 538 00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:31,476 but it does show Harrison with surprising strength. 539 00:32:31,582 --> 00:32:34,415 There's an eight percent margin of error, and it's still early... 540 00:32:34,519 --> 00:32:37,249 but it looks to be very close. 541 00:32:37,355 --> 00:32:40,381 Seems to me the president has got himself in a bit of a horse race. 542 00:32:40,491 --> 00:32:42,516 Eagle, you with me? 543 00:32:42,627 --> 00:32:44,993 Don't you mean moose race? 544 00:32:45,096 --> 00:32:49,499 Eagle.! Hey.! Oh-ho.! 545 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,660 - There she is! Hey, come on. Let's go. - That's her right there. 546 00:32:52,770 --> 00:32:55,295 - Sally.! - Miss Mannis! Are you Dr. Sally Mannis? 547 00:32:55,406 --> 00:32:57,874 - Yeah. - Just a couple of questions about Handy Harrison. 548 00:32:57,976 --> 00:33:00,137 - Hey! Watch it. - Is it true you've been seeing Mr. Harrison for six years? 549 00:33:00,244 --> 00:33:02,644 - Now you're dating the president. - Oh, no. 550 00:33:02,747 --> 00:33:05,580 I'm not dating the president. It's one date. 551 00:33:05,683 --> 00:33:07,651 I'm not even sure you'd call it a date. 552 00:33:07,752 --> 00:33:10,118 You wouldn't call it a date? What would you call it exactly? 553 00:33:10,221 --> 00:33:13,816 - Just a couple more questions! - When did he ask you out? 554 00:33:13,925 --> 00:33:16,894 - Have you and the president had sex yet? - For God's sakes! 555 00:33:21,933 --> 00:33:23,833 Think about it, Handy. 556 00:33:23,935 --> 00:33:27,200 For our mayor, we could have the president of the United States. 557 00:33:27,305 --> 00:33:30,206 - What are you trying to do to us? - You know he's gonna win. 558 00:33:30,308 --> 00:33:32,037 Drop out, you bastard! 559 00:33:32,143 --> 00:33:34,668 - Come on.! - Thank you, Reuben. 560 00:33:34,779 --> 00:33:38,715 - And you better keep an eye on your speedometer, Harrison. - Handy! Handy! Handy! 561 00:33:38,816 --> 00:33:41,580 - What's this? Come on. Ah, what's goin' on? - Handy! Handy! Handy! 562 00:33:41,686 --> 00:33:45,486 What's it look like? You're campaigning! 563 00:33:45,590 --> 00:33:48,024 - Handy.! Handy.! - Guys, come on. 564 00:33:48,126 --> 00:33:50,390 Hey, Handy. Do you like it? 565 00:33:50,495 --> 00:33:54,158 Uh, that's... yeah. Uh, all right, guys. Thank you very much. 566 00:33:54,265 --> 00:33:56,165 The moose hat and everything. 567 00:33:56,267 --> 00:34:00,431 But, Irma, we discussed this. I'm not campaigning. I'm not. 568 00:34:08,446 --> 00:34:10,744 - What? - Do you care about Sally or not? 569 00:34:10,848 --> 00:34:14,784 No... Look, her going out with him is just... 570 00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:18,049 it's a casual... 571 00:34:18,156 --> 00:34:20,920 Call it postmenopausal intuition... 572 00:34:21,025 --> 00:34:25,223 but just my opinion... lose this election, lose Sally. 573 00:34:25,329 --> 00:34:29,732 - Mm-hmm. - It's not gonna go anywhere. He's 20 years older than me. 574 00:34:29,834 --> 00:34:33,167 - He's the president! - So? 575 00:34:33,271 --> 00:34:35,466 Power takes 10 years off a man, Handy. 576 00:34:35,573 --> 00:34:37,666 Rich, another 10. 577 00:34:37,775 --> 00:34:41,336 By the time you figure he's in great shape and you're not... 578 00:34:41,446 --> 00:34:43,414 he's younger than you are. 579 00:34:43,514 --> 00:34:48,417 - Mm-hmm. - So, you want to campaign or not? 580 00:34:49,353 --> 00:34:52,117 - Hmm! - Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm! 581 00:34:52,223 --> 00:34:54,953 Better shape! 582 00:34:55,059 --> 00:34:57,118 I know I can kick your ass! 583 00:34:57,261 --> 00:35:00,196 Up and running. So how do we kick this thing off, Bert? 584 00:35:00,298 --> 00:35:03,893 Top priority, obviously, is to keep him presidential. 585 00:35:04,001 --> 00:35:06,333 Just pound these moose worshippers... 586 00:35:06,437 --> 00:35:10,396 with what his unbelievable experience can bring to them. 587 00:35:10,508 --> 00:35:12,976 Look, if they think about it for half a second... 588 00:35:13,077 --> 00:35:16,706 Harrison can't bring even a fraction of what he brings. 589 00:35:16,814 --> 00:35:19,783 - Whatever he is. - And what exactly is he? 590 00:35:19,884 --> 00:35:22,910 Preliminary research says that he is something... 591 00:35:23,020 --> 00:35:27,013 that actually we've never faced before, Mr. President. 592 00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:30,686 - And that is? - He's a genuinely honest man, sir. 593 00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:34,788 Oh, come on, Grace. All that means is he's never run for public office. 594 00:35:36,934 --> 00:35:41,530 - What do you got, Bert? - F.B.I., C.I.A... nothing. 595 00:35:41,639 --> 00:35:44,267 But this turned up in the local paper. 596 00:35:44,375 --> 00:35:46,343 And, uh, that's it? 597 00:35:46,444 --> 00:35:50,540 That's it. We're running against the pie-eating champ. 598 00:35:50,648 --> 00:35:54,311 - Huh. - And think about this. 599 00:35:54,418 --> 00:35:57,410 He runs for mayor, but only when he thinks he's unopposed. 600 00:35:57,522 --> 00:36:00,047 He dates the same woman for six years... 601 00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:02,319 but he never pops the question. 602 00:36:03,427 --> 00:36:05,327 What's wrong with this picture? 603 00:36:05,429 --> 00:36:09,331 He won't take risks.! He won't make a commitment. 604 00:36:09,433 --> 00:36:13,335 And any man who won't make a commitment shouldn't be mayor of anything. 605 00:36:13,437 --> 00:36:17,168 - That's good. How do we get that out? - Whisper campaign, at first. 606 00:36:17,275 --> 00:36:21,302 Then radio, and eventually, we'll have to have some TV spots. 607 00:36:21,412 --> 00:36:23,380 Shouldn't get too expensive, but... 608 00:36:23,481 --> 00:36:26,211 Mr. President, I'm sure you don't want to hear this... 609 00:36:26,317 --> 00:36:29,184 but would the easiest thing be... 610 00:36:29,287 --> 00:36:31,881 Should we discuss a withdrawal? 611 00:36:31,989 --> 00:36:34,014 Withdrawal? Grace! 612 00:36:34,125 --> 00:36:36,650 He's the Eagle! 613 00:36:36,761 --> 00:36:41,255 Eagle Cole has never run away from anything in his life! 614 00:36:41,365 --> 00:36:43,765 - Not to mention what it would do to his finances. - Finances? 615 00:36:43,868 --> 00:36:47,736 Book deals, corporate boards, library fund-raising. 616 00:36:47,838 --> 00:36:50,568 You quit or, God help us, lose to a plumber... 617 00:36:50,675 --> 00:36:53,735 we can kiss those deals good-bye faster than you can say Roto-Rooter. 618 00:36:53,844 --> 00:36:55,903 This is not about Mooseport. It's about winning. 619 00:36:56,013 --> 00:36:58,914 It's about spending three million dollars to protect 20. 620 00:36:59,016 --> 00:37:02,213 Maybe I should commit to that speaking tour. 621 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:06,620 L... I, uh... I had to cancel that, sir. 622 00:37:06,724 --> 00:37:08,749 You... You what? 623 00:37:08,859 --> 00:37:12,659 It-It seemed obvious. It was right in the middle of the campaign. 624 00:37:12,763 --> 00:37:14,628 That was millions of dollars! 625 00:37:14,732 --> 00:37:16,927 Sir, there is still that offer... 626 00:37:17,034 --> 00:37:19,127 from the Soova Motors people. 627 00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:23,503 - The ex-president cannot do car commercials. - But have you seen the car? 628 00:37:23,608 --> 00:37:26,702 Look at this. It's snappy styling, snappy president. 629 00:37:26,811 --> 00:37:28,745 - Bullard.! - It's smooth handling. 630 00:37:28,846 --> 00:37:32,577 - Leather interior! - Bullard! Get out, get out. 631 00:37:32,683 --> 00:37:36,813 I'll handle the money, Eagle. I'm sure that with the library pledges, something will turn up. 632 00:37:36,921 --> 00:37:41,153 - May I stay now, sir? - Go in the corner, out of my eye line. 633 00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:43,227 Oh, thank you, sir. 634 00:37:44,562 --> 00:37:46,860 - I can still see you. 635 00:37:46,964 --> 00:37:50,297 Yes, sir. 636 00:37:50,401 --> 00:37:54,667 What about the girl? What about this Sally-Handy, Sally-Eagle wank-off? 637 00:37:54,772 --> 00:37:58,765 - He'll have to cancel the date. - Whoa, whoa. No. He can't cancel the date. 638 00:37:58,876 --> 00:38:02,039 You said it, Bert. The Eagle doesn't back down. 639 00:38:02,146 --> 00:38:06,344 You clear up what I didn't know and when I didn't know it, I'll be fine. 640 00:38:06,450 --> 00:38:08,975 - Should I draft a press release? - Uh, yeah. 641 00:38:09,086 --> 00:38:12,681 Oh, no. No. Um... 642 00:38:12,790 --> 00:38:15,657 Call the press, have them over here first thing in the morning... 643 00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:18,661 and then get Handy Harrison here to fix the toilet. 644 00:38:18,763 --> 00:38:21,459 You see where I'm going with this, or do I have to draw you a picture? 645 00:38:21,565 --> 00:38:24,125 I see it, Mr. President. I'm on it. 646 00:38:24,235 --> 00:38:26,669 - Let's get to work. 647 00:38:28,739 --> 00:38:31,765 He's comin' in. 648 00:38:31,876 --> 00:38:35,209 - Let's go. Let's go. Move on through. Move on. - Oh, boy. 649 00:38:35,313 --> 00:38:38,077 Uh-huh. Looks like an ambush. 650 00:38:38,182 --> 00:38:40,650 Oh, boy. 651 00:38:40,751 --> 00:38:43,515 - Handy, what are your policies? 652 00:38:47,091 --> 00:38:49,150 Mr. President.! Mr. President.! Comments.! 653 00:38:49,260 --> 00:38:52,388 Folks, I need a word with Mr. Harrison. Good morning, Handy. 654 00:38:52,496 --> 00:38:55,397 - Good morning, Mr. President. You got toilet trouble, right? - Yeah. 655 00:38:55,499 --> 00:38:59,060 Handy, uh, I want to make it clear that when I asked Miss Mannis out... 656 00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:02,037 I had no idea that you two had a relationship. 657 00:39:02,139 --> 00:39:06,200 Even though I find it reprehensible for any man to interfere in an ongoing romance... 658 00:39:06,310 --> 00:39:08,369 Me too. 659 00:39:08,479 --> 00:39:12,415 I also believe that a woman's heart is hers and hers alone to give. 660 00:39:12,516 --> 00:39:15,451 Ah. Yeah. That's a good point. 661 00:39:15,553 --> 00:39:19,114 Mm-hmm. So, I asked Sally out in ignorance... 662 00:39:19,223 --> 00:39:21,691 and she agreed to go. 663 00:39:21,792 --> 00:39:26,456 And until she tells me to stand down, I intend to see her. 664 00:39:26,564 --> 00:39:29,590 - Fair? - Call him a horndog! 665 00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:33,602 - Did she say "horndog"? - Well, uh... 666 00:39:33,704 --> 00:39:37,936 If it's okay with you, sir, I'd like to chew on that a bit. 667 00:39:39,310 --> 00:39:41,642 Okay. Okay, you chew on that... 668 00:39:41,746 --> 00:39:44,214 and, um... 669 00:39:44,315 --> 00:39:47,113 if you find that you can't swallow it, you let me know... 670 00:39:47,218 --> 00:39:49,743 and I'll give you the Heimlich maneuver, okay? 671 00:39:49,854 --> 00:39:51,481 - Very good, sir. 672 00:39:51,589 --> 00:39:53,557 Come on in here and fix these toilets. 673 00:39:53,657 --> 00:39:56,558 - So are we going to see a date, Mr. President? - Where are you taking her? 674 00:39:56,660 --> 00:40:00,255 I don't know what you're gonna see. Thank you so much. 675 00:40:00,364 --> 00:40:02,332 - Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. 676 00:40:02,433 --> 00:40:04,765 - I'm in a great mood. Do we have any ice cream? - Absolutely, sir. 677 00:40:04,869 --> 00:40:07,167 And I think we found a way to solve your money problems. 678 00:40:07,271 --> 00:40:09,171 - Really? - Yes. 679 00:40:17,915 --> 00:40:20,349 - Voil�. - That's it? 680 00:40:20,451 --> 00:40:25,081 Nothing to it. You save three million dollars, and look... still beautiful. 681 00:40:25,189 --> 00:40:28,750 Excellent, excellent. Don't even miss it. 682 00:40:31,562 --> 00:40:35,191 - Okay, everybody. Let's get back to work. - Right away, sir. 683 00:40:36,534 --> 00:40:39,435 Son of a bitch! 684 00:40:41,372 --> 00:40:43,340 Sally! 685 00:40:47,912 --> 00:40:50,210 - Plunger, you stay off the couch.! 686 00:40:50,314 --> 00:40:52,441 - Hi there. - Hello.! 687 00:40:52,550 --> 00:40:55,178 Hey. Hey, it's me. What's up? 688 00:40:55,286 --> 00:40:58,380 Uh... what are you doing? You wanna go do something? 689 00:40:58,489 --> 00:41:02,289 - You wanna see a movie or something? - You know I have plans tonight. 690 00:41:02,393 --> 00:41:06,022 L... Oh, that's right. That's right. I forgot. 691 00:41:06,130 --> 00:41:09,531 Tonight's the night you got a date with the president of the United States. 692 00:41:09,633 --> 00:41:12,796 - Uh-huh. - Did you see this? 693 00:41:15,639 --> 00:41:18,972 "Local vet finds romance with past president." 694 00:41:19,076 --> 00:41:21,738 - Eww. Where'd they get that picture? - Yeah. 695 00:41:21,846 --> 00:41:25,145 There it is next to the president on the front page. 696 00:41:25,249 --> 00:41:29,447 So what about later? I mean, he must go to bed at, like, 8:30, right? 697 00:41:29,553 --> 00:41:32,317 So, there's supposed to be a meteor shower at 11:00. That could be cool. 698 00:41:32,423 --> 00:41:36,257 - It'll have to be another time. 699 00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:39,591 It's not gonna happen for 240 years, but okay, I'll pencil that in. 700 00:41:39,697 --> 00:41:43,565 I might, uh... You gotta... You gotta tighten these. 701 00:41:43,667 --> 00:41:48,001 - Look, if you're doing all this to get me jealous... 702 00:41:48,105 --> 00:41:50,869 it's worked, okay, so could you stop it, huh? 703 00:41:50,975 --> 00:41:54,775 Please? Can you just cancel the date with the president? 704 00:41:57,915 --> 00:42:01,783 So that's Wednesday. Then Thursday. 705 00:42:01,886 --> 00:42:04,719 - Come in, come in, come in. - Thank you, sir. 706 00:42:04,822 --> 00:42:08,883 Uh, Thursday, I thought you could interview some of the ghostwriters. 707 00:42:08,993 --> 00:42:12,019 - Oh, great, great, great, great. - Where are you taking her? 708 00:42:12,129 --> 00:42:15,758 The Pig and the Whistle, the only steakhouse in town. 709 00:42:15,866 --> 00:42:19,131 Supposed to be quiet, intimate. Do you know it? 710 00:42:19,236 --> 00:42:21,295 Pig 'N' Whistle? No. 711 00:42:21,405 --> 00:42:24,238 What do I eat? I mean, what do I talk about? 712 00:42:24,341 --> 00:42:26,809 Do I have anything in common with this girl? 713 00:42:26,911 --> 00:42:30,813 She's a veterinarian. Why don't you talk about mad cow disease? 714 00:42:30,915 --> 00:42:33,713 - Don't, by the way, order meat. - Why not? 715 00:42:33,817 --> 00:42:37,184 It's just a guess, but she might not appreciate your wolfing down... 716 00:42:37,288 --> 00:42:39,722 the animal she spent all day trying to save. 717 00:42:39,823 --> 00:42:42,553 Good point. 718 00:42:42,660 --> 00:42:44,560 Come on. 719 00:42:44,662 --> 00:42:48,098 Wh-What, do you... do you really actually like this guy? 720 00:42:48,198 --> 00:42:50,996 He wants to talk to me about dogs. 721 00:42:51,101 --> 00:42:54,730 - Why you all dressed up then? - Because he's the president. 722 00:42:54,838 --> 00:42:59,002 Well, then why are you wearin' black underwear? 723 00:43:04,915 --> 00:43:08,248 - Were you lookin' up my dress? 724 00:43:09,453 --> 00:43:11,421 Yeah, I was. 725 00:43:11,522 --> 00:43:15,185 - Ow! - Oh, get over yourself. I hardly touched you. 726 00:43:15,292 --> 00:43:18,159 How many times do I gotta tell you how strong you are? 727 00:43:18,262 --> 00:43:21,095 You knuckled my bone! 728 00:43:21,198 --> 00:43:24,429 Listen, explain to me the underwear choice. 729 00:43:24,535 --> 00:43:27,003 - If you're not attracted... - I don't believe this! 730 00:43:27,104 --> 00:43:29,971 What difference does it make what color my underwear is? 731 00:43:30,074 --> 00:43:32,668 It's an unconscious indicator... 732 00:43:32,776 --> 00:43:35,301 of your subconscious intentions. 733 00:43:35,412 --> 00:43:37,880 Okay. Um... 734 00:43:39,750 --> 00:43:41,650 How do you feel about the pink? 735 00:43:41,752 --> 00:43:43,879 - No. - No. 736 00:43:43,988 --> 00:43:45,888 - Uh... what about these? - No! 737 00:43:45,990 --> 00:43:48,618 - No? Uh, these? - All right. 738 00:43:48,726 --> 00:43:50,489 Or do you like any of these? 739 00:43:50,594 --> 00:43:52,960 I'm going to Sears tomorrow. I'm telling you right now. 740 00:43:53,063 --> 00:43:55,122 Oh! Remember these? 741 00:43:55,232 --> 00:43:57,393 Yeah. That we're locking up, okay? 742 00:43:57,501 --> 00:43:59,901 Or you know what? 743 00:44:00,004 --> 00:44:03,030 I could always go with none at all. I wonder what that would indicate. 744 00:44:04,975 --> 00:44:07,705 Sally. Sally! Put some pants on! 745 00:44:10,214 --> 00:44:12,512 - Hello! - Handy's Hardware. 746 00:44:12,616 --> 00:44:16,017 - Hello, Pig 'N' Whistle. - No, this is Handy's Hardware. 747 00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:19,214 Good. I'd like to confirm a reservation, please. 748 00:44:19,323 --> 00:44:22,087 - You have the wrong number. - Yes, I know. 749 00:44:22,192 --> 00:44:24,524 For President Monroe Cole. 750 00:44:24,628 --> 00:44:27,597 - Strictly confidential, of course. - Confidential? 751 00:44:27,698 --> 00:44:30,223 8:00, for two, yes? 752 00:44:30,334 --> 00:44:32,859 Well, I'll be buggered by a bear. 753 00:44:32,970 --> 00:44:35,438 Ah, yes, you will. Look forward to seeing you there. 754 00:44:37,341 --> 00:44:39,502 Move up a little closer. Can you move that up? 755 00:44:39,610 --> 00:44:41,510 This feels wrong. And pushy. 756 00:44:41,612 --> 00:44:45,070 And him making her his booty poodle isn't? 757 00:44:45,182 --> 00:44:47,844 You have to stop saying that, please. 758 00:44:47,951 --> 00:44:51,887 - Thank you. To new friends. 759 00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:55,382 Lots of em. 760 00:44:55,492 --> 00:44:58,290 - This way, Mr. President! - Sorry about the gaggle. 761 00:44:58,395 --> 00:45:00,795 I just can't believe they hound you like this. 762 00:45:00,898 --> 00:45:03,731 Nah, you get used to it. They're kind of like pigeons. 763 00:45:03,834 --> 00:45:06,860 You throw 'em a crumb once in a while. Hello! 764 00:45:06,970 --> 00:45:09,871 - Thank you, sir! - Hi, Mom. 765 00:45:09,973 --> 00:45:11,873 Out with the president. 766 00:45:13,677 --> 00:45:17,078 - Ah, that's great. - Hmm, hmm, hmm. 767 00:45:17,181 --> 00:45:20,981 - Are we ready yet? - Uh, I hope you're hungry. 768 00:45:21,085 --> 00:45:22,985 I could eat a horse... radish. 769 00:45:24,154 --> 00:45:26,748 Horseradish. Sally? 770 00:45:26,857 --> 00:45:29,883 Uh, I'm not sure yet. You go first, Mr. President. 771 00:45:29,993 --> 00:45:32,291 Monroe, please. 772 00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:35,490 - Monroe. - Let's see. So much to choose from here. 773 00:45:35,599 --> 00:45:39,057 Um... I'll have the baked potato. 774 00:45:39,169 --> 00:45:42,332 - Hmm. All right. - Sour cream and butter and Baco Bits. 775 00:45:42,439 --> 00:45:45,670 Vegetarian... Baco Bits. 776 00:45:45,776 --> 00:45:49,769 Uh, I'll have the endive salad and... a T-bone. 777 00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,815 - Sometimes you just want a steak, right? 778 00:45:52,916 --> 00:45:55,407 - Yeah. 779 00:45:55,519 --> 00:45:59,615 - No turning back. Get in there.! - Hey, hold on a minute. 780 00:45:59,723 --> 00:46:02,317 - Why can't we go in? - Ma'am? 781 00:46:02,426 --> 00:46:05,793 - All right. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. - Go on! 782 00:46:05,896 --> 00:46:11,528 Hi. Uh, sorry, everybody. Sorry to interrupt. I was just... 783 00:46:11,635 --> 00:46:15,401 I wanna let everybody know that I'm gonna be running for mayor. 784 00:46:15,506 --> 00:46:17,474 And I'd appreciate your votes. 785 00:46:17,574 --> 00:46:20,543 So I'll just hand these out, and I'll get out of your way. Here you go. 786 00:46:20,644 --> 00:46:23,112 I gotta tell you, I'm voting for the president. 787 00:46:23,213 --> 00:46:26,842 - Hi. Good evening, folks. It's a nice night, isn't it? - Handy for mayor. 788 00:46:26,950 --> 00:46:29,942 Runnin' for mayor. Hey, you got yours. Hi. Hi, Shelly. Hi. 789 00:46:30,053 --> 00:46:33,489 Hey, just wanna remind people that I'm running for mayor. 790 00:46:33,590 --> 00:46:35,649 Yeah, we heard you before. 791 00:46:35,759 --> 00:46:39,354 Instead of interrupting everybody's dinner, why don't you two have a debate? 792 00:46:39,463 --> 00:46:42,557 - Debate? - Yeah. Have a debate. 793 00:46:42,666 --> 00:46:45,567 We're not gonna have a debate. We're not gonna bother the president with that. 794 00:46:45,669 --> 00:46:48,399 Oh, no, no. A debate's fine by me. 795 00:46:48,505 --> 00:46:51,030 - There. You see? Yeah. - Now? 796 00:46:51,141 --> 00:46:54,508 Well, now is not the time or place, Handy... 797 00:46:54,611 --> 00:46:58,138 but, uh, let's say the town hall Tuesday night. 798 00:46:58,248 --> 00:47:00,148 That's a great idea! 799 00:47:00,250 --> 00:47:02,844 - I'll think about it. - Of course he will. 800 00:47:02,953 --> 00:47:06,912 - Tuesday, town hall. Great.! - Okay. All right. You're on. 801 00:47:07,024 --> 00:47:10,482 Okay, why don't we let everybody get back to their dinner? 802 00:47:10,594 --> 00:47:13,586 All right. I'm gonna go in the bar. 803 00:47:13,697 --> 00:47:17,531 Maybe there's people that are drunk enough to vote for me in there. 804 00:47:17,634 --> 00:47:19,329 Good idea. 805 00:47:22,973 --> 00:47:25,441 - What are you mentioning a debate... - That's all right. 806 00:47:25,542 --> 00:47:28,170 - I can't talk. I can't even talk to you. - You'll be fine. 807 00:47:28,278 --> 00:47:30,746 - Oh, come on! - Look, I'm gonna stay. You go. Go. 808 00:47:30,848 --> 00:47:35,581 - Hand these out. - Take the truck home. Put some gas in it. 809 00:47:35,686 --> 00:47:38,416 Hey. Hi, everybody. Sorry to interrupt. 810 00:47:42,059 --> 00:47:44,892 - Everything all right? - Uh, yes! 811 00:47:46,029 --> 00:47:47,929 Would you excuse me for just one minute? 812 00:47:48,031 --> 00:47:49,931 - Yes, certainly. - Don't get up. 813 00:47:57,341 --> 00:47:59,901 - I kind of know what everybody... - Handy! 814 00:48:00,010 --> 00:48:01,910 Get the hell out of here. 815 00:48:02,012 --> 00:48:04,139 Sally, I have the right to campaign. 816 00:48:04,248 --> 00:48:06,773 Campaign? You're making a fool of yourself. 817 00:48:06,884 --> 00:48:10,081 Well, welcome to politics. 818 00:48:11,255 --> 00:48:13,155 Discreetly. Discreetly. 819 00:48:16,860 --> 00:48:19,385 What's in it? 820 00:48:19,496 --> 00:48:23,262 - They're, uh... It's beyond me, sir. - What? 821 00:48:23,367 --> 00:48:26,131 - Should I get it to the F.B.I.? - Yes. No, no, no. 822 00:48:26,236 --> 00:48:28,136 Here she comes. Go. Dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dah. 823 00:48:28,238 --> 00:48:32,140 - Mr. President.! - Watch your step, Mr. President. 824 00:48:32,242 --> 00:48:35,211 - It's going well, don't you think? - Mr. President, sir. 825 00:48:35,312 --> 00:48:38,770 - I've been thinking. I suggest a handshake, sir. - What? 826 00:48:38,882 --> 00:48:41,680 Yes, sir. It's your first date. I think that a handshake... 827 00:48:41,785 --> 00:48:44,049 Grace, Grace, I'm doing great here! 828 00:48:44,154 --> 00:48:47,385 I think you're underestimating me. 829 00:48:47,491 --> 00:48:50,153 Are you going to see her again? 830 00:48:50,260 --> 00:48:53,991 - Sally, is he a gentleman? - How's the date going? 831 00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:57,225 Have you officially dumped Handy, Miss Mannis? 832 00:48:57,334 --> 00:48:59,666 Whoa! Was that a meteor? 833 00:48:59,770 --> 00:49:03,103 - There's supposed to be a shower tonight. - Ahh. 834 00:49:03,206 --> 00:49:06,471 - Maybe it's a good omen, huh? 835 00:49:06,576 --> 00:49:09,841 I just wanna apologize again for Handy. 836 00:49:09,947 --> 00:49:13,314 I certainly did not tell him where we were going tonight. 837 00:49:13,417 --> 00:49:15,351 I understand totally. 838 00:49:16,753 --> 00:49:19,381 Well... good night. 839 00:49:24,261 --> 00:49:26,388 - I, uh... Oops. 840 00:49:26,496 --> 00:49:28,828 Ohh! 841 00:49:28,932 --> 00:49:31,400 - Yes! - Just a handshake? 842 00:49:31,501 --> 00:49:34,197 That's gotta hurt.! 843 00:49:36,807 --> 00:49:40,004 Little rusty there, Mr. President? 844 00:49:40,110 --> 00:49:43,739 Mr. President.! Crash and burn, man.! 845 00:49:43,847 --> 00:49:46,577 Ohh. 846 00:49:46,683 --> 00:49:50,585 Okay, here it is again. The president goes in for the kiss. 847 00:49:50,687 --> 00:49:54,987 Out comes her hand, and no, thank you, Mr. President! 848 00:49:55,092 --> 00:49:58,493 - Let's get this guy another beer! 849 00:50:02,332 --> 00:50:04,232 Wait! Guys, guys, guys! 850 00:50:04,334 --> 00:50:06,928 He was pushin'. He missed all her signals. 851 00:50:07,037 --> 00:50:08,766 And you, sir? 852 00:50:08,872 --> 00:50:11,670 - Look who's on TV.! - Uh, the president? Loser! 853 00:50:11,775 --> 00:50:14,539 That's me! All right! 854 00:50:15,645 --> 00:50:17,340 The president got vetoed. 855 00:50:17,447 --> 00:50:21,406 Can you believe it? Definitely the cold shoulder. 856 00:50:21,518 --> 00:50:25,386 - Cold shoulder? The president lost that one. 857 00:50:25,489 --> 00:50:29,755 - Do I hear "lame duck"? - Turn it off, all right? Just turn it off! 858 00:50:29,860 --> 00:50:32,852 - Come on. Turn it off! Turn it off! - Mr. President. 859 00:50:32,963 --> 00:50:35,761 - There. It's off. 860 00:50:35,866 --> 00:50:37,766 - Well, how do we fix this? - We don't. 861 00:50:37,868 --> 00:50:40,701 We concentrate on substance. We get rid of this debate. 862 00:50:40,804 --> 00:50:43,568 What's wrong with the debate? 863 00:50:43,673 --> 00:50:46,198 Putting him on the stage with you gives him credibility. 864 00:50:46,309 --> 00:50:49,642 And he can be funny, sir. Funny is your weakness. 865 00:50:49,746 --> 00:50:52,909 - Huh? - N-Not weakness. 866 00:50:53,016 --> 00:50:56,577 Uh, uh, lesser strength. 867 00:50:56,686 --> 00:50:58,711 - Oh, get out! - Yeah. 868 00:50:59,756 --> 00:51:01,951 Out of your eye line or... 869 00:51:02,059 --> 00:51:05,256 Just get out! Out! 870 00:51:05,362 --> 00:51:08,991 - Dyer, Cloud, break his leg! - Yes, sir. 871 00:51:09,099 --> 00:51:12,227 - They know I'm kidding, don't they? 872 00:51:13,370 --> 00:51:16,396 I'm kidding! I'm just kidding! 873 00:51:19,743 --> 00:51:22,211 Sally! Sally! 874 00:51:22,312 --> 00:51:24,974 Sal! 875 00:51:25,082 --> 00:51:27,346 Uh, I'm coming. Stay there. 876 00:51:27,451 --> 00:51:30,147 Froggy. Green boy. 877 00:51:30,253 --> 00:51:33,051 What? 878 00:51:44,534 --> 00:51:46,434 Sally! 879 00:51:46,536 --> 00:51:49,004 Sally.! Come on.! 880 00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:51,870 The frog is empty. 881 00:51:53,276 --> 00:51:55,437 There's nothing in it... 882 00:51:55,545 --> 00:51:57,445 except frog. 883 00:52:08,458 --> 00:52:10,949 Got a rock particle in my eye now! 884 00:52:11,061 --> 00:52:15,054 My eye hurts.! I need a hug.! 885 00:52:15,165 --> 00:52:17,827 Sally, just... 886 00:52:17,934 --> 00:52:20,698 For a little bit, we're gonna talk. 887 00:52:23,273 --> 00:52:25,741 Ow! Wh... This? 888 00:52:25,842 --> 00:52:27,833 This was a joke. 889 00:52:27,944 --> 00:52:30,572 It was a bad joke. 890 00:52:32,816 --> 00:52:35,410 It's a little bit... funny. 891 00:52:35,519 --> 00:52:38,886 Go to sleep, and maybe... 892 00:52:38,989 --> 00:52:42,083 maybe we'll meet in our dreams. 893 00:52:42,192 --> 00:52:45,093 Like... Like you can connect a Nintendo... 894 00:52:45,195 --> 00:52:47,163 from one player to the next player. 895 00:52:49,099 --> 00:52:52,159 I'm blowing you a kiss. It's by the window. 896 00:52:52,269 --> 00:52:55,397 And you can tomorrow get it... when you wake up. 897 00:52:55,505 --> 00:52:58,702 Brush your teeth, and then you go get it. 898 00:52:58,808 --> 00:53:01,140 All right. 899 00:53:01,244 --> 00:53:04,372 I'm going home. I hurt my eye. 900 00:53:07,017 --> 00:53:10,077 Home. See my doggy. 901 00:53:10,187 --> 00:53:13,588 - Hey, wait up.! - See you inside, okay? 902 00:53:13,690 --> 00:53:16,955 - Right. All right. - See you tomorrow, Sam. 903 00:53:20,096 --> 00:53:22,564 Testing, testing. Can you all hear me? 904 00:53:22,666 --> 00:53:24,566 - Sally! - Hey, Dina. 905 00:53:24,668 --> 00:53:27,637 - What took ya? - Come in directly. 906 00:53:31,374 --> 00:53:33,433 Would you stop sweating? 907 00:53:33,543 --> 00:53:36,512 It goes with hyperventilating. 908 00:53:39,249 --> 00:53:41,217 We're all set, Eagle. 909 00:53:41,318 --> 00:53:43,946 You'll be stage right, showing your best side. 910 00:53:44,054 --> 00:53:46,614 Talking points. Issue cheat sheets. 911 00:53:46,723 --> 00:53:49,692 Wherever possible, tell 'em about your experience. 912 00:53:49,793 --> 00:53:53,126 Demonstrate all the resources that you can bring to Mooseport. 913 00:53:56,766 --> 00:53:59,929 I'm not afraid of you. 914 00:54:00,036 --> 00:54:03,403 - I can't feel my feet. - Your feet are fine. 915 00:54:03,506 --> 00:54:06,339 - I can't feel 'em. - Don't be a weenie. Now, shape up. 916 00:54:06,443 --> 00:54:08,911 - Is my hair sticking up? - Turn around. 917 00:54:09,012 --> 00:54:12,641 - Put it down already. - Okay, shut your eyes, baby. Shut your eyes. 918 00:54:12,749 --> 00:54:15,946 What? Stop it, stop it! 919 00:54:16,052 --> 00:54:19,988 Look at us, Handy. Motels are full. Stores are packed. 920 00:54:20,090 --> 00:54:23,753 Do you realize that this is Mooseport's first traffic jam since... ever! 921 00:54:23,860 --> 00:54:26,158 We gotta have a second debate. How 'bout it? 922 00:54:26,263 --> 00:54:28,163 - No! - Mr. President! Hey-yo! 923 00:54:28,265 --> 00:54:30,426 My nose is making a whistling noise. 924 00:54:46,650 --> 00:54:48,550 - Hey, Handy.! 925 00:54:48,652 --> 00:54:50,882 - Sorry. 926 00:54:52,255 --> 00:54:54,655 My fellow Americans... 927 00:54:54,758 --> 00:54:58,626 welcome to the first of two televised mayoral debates. 928 00:54:58,728 --> 00:55:01,288 In the grand old Mooseport tradition... 929 00:55:01,398 --> 00:55:05,300 a game of rock-paper-scissors will determine who will answer questions first. 930 00:55:05,402 --> 00:55:07,302 Gentlemen. 931 00:55:07,404 --> 00:55:09,338 - Show 'em how it's done. - Handy. 932 00:55:09,439 --> 00:55:11,168 Mr. President. 933 00:55:11,274 --> 00:55:13,242 You know the rules. 934 00:55:14,344 --> 00:55:16,938 Rock, paper, scissors. 935 00:55:17,047 --> 00:55:18,947 Okay? On the count of three. 936 00:55:19,049 --> 00:55:20,949 Go get 'im, Eagle.! 937 00:55:21,051 --> 00:55:23,349 One, two, three. 938 00:55:23,453 --> 00:55:27,116 - Rock-rock. Tie. Go again. 939 00:55:28,892 --> 00:55:30,757 - Paper.! - I'd do scissors.! 940 00:55:30,860 --> 00:55:32,794 - Back to rock.! - Come on, focus.! 941 00:55:32,896 --> 00:55:34,693 Good luck, Mr. President.! 942 00:55:34,798 --> 00:55:36,789 - Come on, Handy.! - One, two, three. 943 00:55:36,900 --> 00:55:39,027 - Paper-paper. Tie. Go again. 944 00:55:42,072 --> 00:55:44,836 - Rock! - Paper.! 945 00:55:46,376 --> 00:55:48,844 Rock.! Rock.! Rock.! 946 00:55:48,945 --> 00:55:50,970 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 947 00:55:54,150 --> 00:55:55,617 Focus! 948 00:55:56,986 --> 00:55:59,511 One, two, three! 949 00:55:59,622 --> 00:56:02,182 - Oh, come on! 950 00:56:03,393 --> 00:56:07,295 Rock breaks scissors! The president wins! 951 00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:13,597 I am now prepared to entertain questions from the floor. 952 00:56:13,703 --> 00:56:15,637 - I got one. - Clay? 953 00:56:17,807 --> 00:56:19,604 Uh, some of them environment people... 954 00:56:19,709 --> 00:56:25,306 have taken to callin' Ned Barker's pond a wetlands. 955 00:56:25,415 --> 00:56:29,044 I been fishing there for 30 years. What's gonna happen? 956 00:56:29,152 --> 00:56:31,245 - Good question. 957 00:56:31,354 --> 00:56:33,254 Clay... 958 00:56:33,356 --> 00:56:38,020 I was the most environmentally conscious president since Teddy Roosevelt. 959 00:56:38,128 --> 00:56:42,064 Human population will not threaten wildlife in this area... 960 00:56:42,165 --> 00:56:44,326 for 200 years, if ever. 961 00:56:44,434 --> 00:56:46,834 So you go right on fishing in that pond... 962 00:56:46,936 --> 00:56:50,235 and if anybody tries to stop you, you send 'em to me. 963 00:56:50,340 --> 00:56:53,832 Right on, Mr. President! 964 00:56:56,546 --> 00:56:59,071 Handy? 965 00:57:01,751 --> 00:57:03,582 Come on, Handy. Come on. 966 00:57:06,623 --> 00:57:09,319 That's well put, Mr. President. 967 00:57:12,429 --> 00:57:15,455 It sounds good to me. 968 00:57:15,565 --> 00:57:18,762 - All right, Handy. 969 00:57:18,868 --> 00:57:21,803 All right.! Yeah. Yeah. 970 00:57:21,905 --> 00:57:23,600 Oh, Handy, come on. 971 00:57:23,706 --> 00:57:25,936 - I got a question. - My turn.! My turn.! 972 00:57:26,042 --> 00:57:28,636 - Morris.! Over here.! - Uh, Frances? 973 00:57:28,745 --> 00:57:31,043 Uh, for 10 years now... 974 00:57:31,147 --> 00:57:34,116 we have needed a stop sign in front of Lucy Decker's house. 975 00:57:34,217 --> 00:57:36,310 Nyah, nyah, nyah. 976 00:57:36,419 --> 00:57:40,116 She has done everything except burn down City Hall to stop it. 977 00:57:40,223 --> 00:57:43,192 If elected, what will you do about it? 978 00:57:44,260 --> 00:57:45,887 First off... 979 00:57:45,995 --> 00:57:48,930 I would convene a commission to study the problem. 980 00:57:49,032 --> 00:57:51,933 I would appoint a blue-ribbon panel... 981 00:57:52,035 --> 00:57:56,438 of traffic specialists, right-of-way attorneys and the Army Corps of Engineers... 982 00:57:56,539 --> 00:57:59,838 to assess the situation and make recommendations. 983 00:57:59,943 --> 00:58:04,573 I would spare no effort to make our streets the safest in the world. 984 00:58:04,681 --> 00:58:06,308 All right! 985 00:58:07,584 --> 00:58:10,576 Go get 'im, Eagle.! 986 00:58:10,687 --> 00:58:14,123 - Handy, your turn. - Gotta go for it.! 987 00:58:15,625 --> 00:58:17,855 That's well put, Mr. President. 988 00:58:24,868 --> 00:58:27,428 Lucy, let me ask you, what's the problem? 989 00:58:27,537 --> 00:58:29,368 Car headlights. 990 00:58:29,472 --> 00:58:32,202 Ten years ago they tried a stop sign. 991 00:58:32,308 --> 00:58:36,677 When cars on Bay Street stopped, their headlights stopped right on my headboard. 992 00:58:36,779 --> 00:58:39,714 - Have you tried curtains? 993 00:58:39,816 --> 00:58:44,344 - Excuse me? - You know, blackout curtains for your windows. 994 00:58:44,454 --> 00:58:47,514 - You'd probably sleep better, anyway. 995 00:58:47,624 --> 00:58:50,525 Well, I'd try that. Nobody ever suggested that. 996 00:58:50,627 --> 00:58:53,687 Well, you come by the store and we'll help you out. 997 00:58:53,796 --> 00:58:56,094 - Good thinking, Handy.! - I'll do that. 998 00:58:56,199 --> 00:58:59,168 That's it, Handy! You tell 'em! 999 00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:06,372 - That-a-way, Handy.! 1000 00:59:06,476 --> 00:59:09,377 - Dad. Dad. - Mandy Gutman? 1001 00:59:09,479 --> 00:59:12,971 Dad, this is a question for Handy. Is that okay? 1002 00:59:13,082 --> 00:59:15,209 Well, if the president has no objection. 1003 00:59:15,318 --> 00:59:17,946 I reserve the right to respond, but no objection. 1004 00:59:18,054 --> 00:59:20,522 Okay, Mandy. 1005 00:59:20,623 --> 00:59:22,853 Handy, I was just wondering... 1006 00:59:22,959 --> 00:59:25,393 now that Sally is dating the president... 1007 00:59:28,531 --> 00:59:31,591 Does that mean that you're available? 1008 00:59:31,701 --> 00:59:35,933 Okay, people, can we keep the questioning to the subject of the election? 1009 00:59:36,039 --> 00:59:37,836 I think Joe had a question... 1010 00:59:37,941 --> 00:59:41,399 Actually, Morris, I'd like to address the issue, if I might. 1011 00:59:41,511 --> 00:59:43,843 Thank you. Uh, thanks, Mandy, for that question. 1012 00:59:44,914 --> 00:59:47,940 Sally... 1013 00:59:48,051 --> 00:59:51,020 I know I might not be the best boyfriend, but... 1014 00:59:52,188 --> 00:59:55,351 I thought we had a good thing going here. 1015 00:59:55,458 --> 00:59:57,426 You gotta know how much I care about you, right? 1016 01:00:00,229 --> 01:00:03,630 Why else do you think I got so mad about the underwear with the president? 1017 01:00:03,733 --> 01:00:06,429 Underwear? Tell us about the underwear! Was it a thong? 1018 01:00:06,536 --> 01:00:08,436 - Mr. President, what about it? - No, no, no, no.! 1019 01:00:08,538 --> 01:00:11,268 No, it's color... it's a color thing. 1020 01:00:11,374 --> 01:00:13,808 - Sally! 1021 01:00:13,910 --> 01:00:16,538 What's the deal? Are you going out with him or me? 1022 01:00:16,646 --> 01:00:19,114 - Go for the Eagle.! 1023 01:00:19,215 --> 01:00:23,117 - Eagle.! Eagle.! Eagle.! - Sally, pick the president.! 1024 01:00:23,219 --> 01:00:28,156 - Eagle! Eagle! Eagle! Eagle! - Stop it. Stop it.! 1025 01:00:28,257 --> 01:00:32,091 - Come on, Sally.! Choose Handy.! 1026 01:00:32,195 --> 01:00:34,959 - Sally, which one is it gonna be? - Handy.! Handy.! 1027 01:00:35,064 --> 01:00:39,228 - Handy.! Handy.! Handy.! Handy.! Handy.! - Sally! 1028 01:00:39,335 --> 01:00:40,996 - Sal... 1029 01:00:41,104 --> 01:00:43,163 Excuse me. Excuse me! 1030 01:00:48,544 --> 01:00:51,445 Sally. Sally! 1031 01:00:51,547 --> 01:00:53,481 - Sally. - Are you crazy? 1032 01:00:53,583 --> 01:00:56,711 You didn't answer the phone, and you took the key out of the frog. 1033 01:00:56,819 --> 01:00:58,810 - I can't believe you did that. - What I said up there, doesn't that mean anything? 1034 01:00:58,921 --> 01:01:02,220 I heard you talking about my underwear in front of the whole town. 1035 01:01:02,325 --> 01:01:05,658 The whole country. That's how much I care. You didn't answer the question. 1036 01:01:05,762 --> 01:01:07,992 - What question? - Is it me or him? 1037 01:01:08,097 --> 01:01:13,194 Is it me or your new truck? Don't try to make this about me. It's about you! 1038 01:01:13,302 --> 01:01:15,702 - How is that about me? - Ohh... 1039 01:01:15,805 --> 01:01:18,933 - Miss Mannis! Miss Mannis! 1040 01:01:19,042 --> 01:01:21,101 Man, she pushed you right down. 1041 01:01:21,210 --> 01:01:23,940 Yeah, she's stronger than me. 1042 01:01:24,047 --> 01:01:27,039 - It's not about me. It's about you! - How is that about me? 1043 01:01:29,152 --> 01:01:31,347 Well, you heard it here first. 1044 01:01:31,454 --> 01:01:35,356 It looks like Sally is going to cast her ballot in favor of the president. 1045 01:01:35,458 --> 01:01:37,858 I'm Christy Adams, TVNN News. 1046 01:01:37,960 --> 01:01:41,361 Yeah, baby, you're going down. 1047 01:01:41,464 --> 01:01:45,264 So, what do you think? Should I set up another date? 1048 01:01:45,368 --> 01:01:47,859 - Why not? - Excuse me. 1049 01:01:47,970 --> 01:01:49,801 Grace? 1050 01:01:49,906 --> 01:01:52,500 Grace? Well, what's her problem? 1051 01:01:52,608 --> 01:01:54,906 Maybe she saw the numbers. 1052 01:01:55,011 --> 01:01:58,378 You may have done all right with the girl, but the debate was a disaster. 1053 01:01:58,481 --> 01:02:02,110 - What are you talking about? This is impossible. - It's a small town, Eagle. 1054 01:02:02,218 --> 01:02:05,153 The rules are different here. 1055 01:02:05,254 --> 01:02:08,587 Uh, well, you guys are the hotshots. Brainstorm. 1056 01:02:08,716 --> 01:02:10,445 Well? 1057 01:02:10,551 --> 01:02:13,918 Uh... sir? 1058 01:02:14,022 --> 01:02:16,820 - Excuse me. Mr. President? - Yes? 1059 01:02:16,924 --> 01:02:20,155 - We could eliminate him. - What? 1060 01:02:20,261 --> 01:02:24,664 You wanna make it look like an accident, of course. Maybe his brakes could go out. 1061 01:02:24,766 --> 01:02:27,735 - Oh, my God. - Or he could slip on an oil slick. 1062 01:02:27,835 --> 01:02:29,928 What, are you insane? 1063 01:02:30,038 --> 01:02:33,201 Uh, no, sir, I was... I was just brainstorming. 1064 01:02:35,009 --> 01:02:36,909 Did I misunderstand the question? 1065 01:02:37,011 --> 01:02:39,070 Thank God you guys are on our side. 1066 01:02:39,180 --> 01:02:40,807 - Thank you, sir. - Thank you, sir. 1067 01:02:46,654 --> 01:02:49,350 - Uh... - Hello. 1068 01:02:51,125 --> 01:02:54,117 Small-town politics. Oh, boy. 1069 01:02:58,066 --> 01:03:00,261 Well... 1070 01:03:02,670 --> 01:03:04,934 - I like three sugars. - You only need one. 1071 01:03:05,039 --> 01:03:07,803 - I like three. - Three's unhealthy. 1072 01:03:07,909 --> 01:03:10,207 - What's eating you? - Eating me? 1073 01:03:10,311 --> 01:03:12,006 Yes. Somehow you seem irked. 1074 01:03:12,113 --> 01:03:15,048 - Irked. Really? - Really. 1075 01:03:15,149 --> 01:03:18,118 Well, actually, I am a little bit irked, now that you mention it. 1076 01:03:19,954 --> 01:03:22,422 - Would you like to know why? - Absolutely. 1077 01:03:22,523 --> 01:03:26,482 Sit down there, Grace, and tell me all about it. Okay? 1078 01:03:28,529 --> 01:03:30,121 Well... 1079 01:03:30,231 --> 01:03:33,564 when you... when we first came to live here, l... 1080 01:03:33,668 --> 01:03:35,636 - Yes? - Excuse me, Mr. President. 1081 01:03:35,737 --> 01:03:38,137 Excuse me. Could we have a minute here, please? 1082 01:03:38,239 --> 01:03:40,833 Sorry, Eagle. We have an emergency. 1083 01:03:40,942 --> 01:03:43,843 - Unless somebody's dying, Bert, I don't wanna hear about it. - It's Charlotte. 1084 01:03:43,945 --> 01:03:45,537 She's coming here. 1085 01:03:45,646 --> 01:03:48,376 Howdy. Handy for mayor. 1086 01:03:48,483 --> 01:03:50,178 Vote for Handy. 1087 01:03:50,284 --> 01:03:53,185 Go to court. Get a restraining order. 1088 01:03:53,287 --> 01:03:55,755 Come on, people. We gotta do something about this. 1089 01:03:55,857 --> 01:03:59,020 - The sure way, sir? - Dyer, this is too smart for her. 1090 01:03:59,127 --> 01:04:02,187 Who thought of this? It was him, wasn't it? Yeah. 1091 01:04:02,296 --> 01:04:04,196 - Grace, I'll handle this. - Yes. 1092 01:04:04,298 --> 01:04:07,199 Handy Harrison. That's right. That's who I'm campaigning for. 1093 01:04:07,301 --> 01:04:09,201 Vote for Handy. 1094 01:04:09,303 --> 01:04:10,861 I had dignity once. 1095 01:04:12,306 --> 01:04:14,274 Does anybody remember that? 1096 01:04:17,745 --> 01:04:21,511 - Handy for mayor. 1097 01:04:21,616 --> 01:04:24,779 Why aren't you campaigning for the president? Did Handy put you up to this? 1098 01:04:24,886 --> 01:04:28,083 Hello, Monroe. What brought you here? 1099 01:04:28,189 --> 01:04:30,817 Charlotte, hon, could we talk in private, please? 1100 01:04:30,925 --> 01:04:33,826 This is as private as I got for 20 years. What's on your mind? 1101 01:04:33,928 --> 01:04:35,862 Well, sweetie, if we could just talk alone... 1102 01:04:35,963 --> 01:04:39,592 - I'm sure we could work something out. - Howdy! Handy for mayor! 1103 01:04:39,700 --> 01:04:42,396 - Could we go inside, please? - Fine. 1104 01:04:42,503 --> 01:04:45,301 Why do you think she's here, Mr. President? 1105 01:04:45,406 --> 01:04:47,966 - Okay, Neil. That oughta do it. - Stand back, please. 1106 01:04:48,075 --> 01:04:50,873 The president's coming. Hide the payroll benefits. 1107 01:04:50,978 --> 01:04:54,607 - Charlotte, would you step into my office? - Yes, dear. 1108 01:04:58,119 --> 01:05:00,587 - Charlotte... - Married couples have a shorthand, Monroe. 1109 01:05:00,688 --> 01:05:02,417 Ours is nine million dollars. 1110 01:05:02,523 --> 01:05:05,253 - Nine? I don't have it! - Twenty-five years. 1111 01:05:05,359 --> 01:05:09,090 A quarter of a century I endured, and now you're pleading poverty? 1112 01:05:09,197 --> 01:05:11,097 You took the house, the boat. 1113 01:05:11,199 --> 01:05:13,759 You've taken everything but my title. 1114 01:05:13,868 --> 01:05:16,132 Hello. This is former First Lady Charlotte Cole. 1115 01:05:16,237 --> 01:05:19,070 I spent 25 years with Monroe Cole... 1116 01:05:19,173 --> 01:05:21,232 which is why I'm supporting Handy Harrison. 1117 01:05:21,342 --> 01:05:24,800 Yes, you heard me. I'm supporting Handy Harrison. 1118 01:05:24,912 --> 01:05:27,107 Eagle? 1119 01:05:31,953 --> 01:05:34,012 Have I gotten through to you, lambkins? 1120 01:05:36,324 --> 01:05:39,259 I never thought you'd stoop this low, Harrison. 1121 01:05:39,360 --> 01:05:42,261 I thought this was gonna be a fair fight between two honorable men... 1122 01:05:42,363 --> 01:05:45,628 but I can see now that I'm up against somebody who doesn't play by the rules. 1123 01:05:45,733 --> 01:05:48,463 - Have you no sense of decency, sir? - I'm sorry. 1124 01:05:48,569 --> 01:05:51,902 Talk about hitting below the belt. Bringing a man's ex-wife into it. 1125 01:05:52,006 --> 01:05:54,941 You're showing your true colors, aren't you? 1126 01:05:55,042 --> 01:05:58,978 - Hey! I had nothing to do with this. 1127 01:05:59,113 --> 01:06:01,479 Mr. President! Mr. President! - Watch your back. 1128 01:06:01,582 --> 01:06:06,417 That's it. I've had it. I want 'em both. Be thinking about a way to do it, Dyer. 1129 01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:08,420 Sir. 1130 01:06:08,522 --> 01:06:10,422 - Is he serious? 'Cause I thought... - No, no, no! 1131 01:06:10,524 --> 01:06:12,219 Mr. President! You want a fair fight? 1132 01:06:12,326 --> 01:06:16,262 You just called me dishonorable, sir, a-a-and I'm not. 1133 01:06:16,364 --> 01:06:18,730 So if it's a fair fight you want... 1134 01:06:18,833 --> 01:06:21,063 just you and me... 1135 01:06:21,168 --> 01:06:23,534 I think I know the place. 1136 01:06:30,778 --> 01:06:32,473 You're on. 1137 01:06:35,383 --> 01:06:39,217 What are we doing here, Harrison? What are the stakes? 1138 01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:42,221 - Mayor? - No, sir. 1139 01:06:42,323 --> 01:06:46,020 Sally. Loser backs off of Sally. 1140 01:06:46,127 --> 01:06:48,527 - We're both 10 handicaps, sir. - Sir... 1141 01:06:48,629 --> 01:06:51,029 - Fair fight. - You're on. 1142 01:06:51,132 --> 01:06:53,999 - If I could just talk to you for a quick second... - Show me the way. 1143 01:06:54,101 --> 01:06:57,593 Sir, there's something I'd like to discuss with you about your ga... 1144 01:06:58,639 --> 01:07:00,573 Eye line. 1145 01:07:03,277 --> 01:07:05,177 Nice shot. 1146 01:07:05,279 --> 01:07:07,270 - Thank you. - A little bit left. 1147 01:07:07,381 --> 01:07:09,246 Right where I was aiming. 1148 01:07:09,350 --> 01:07:12,410 - I might drive the green. 1149 01:07:17,525 --> 01:07:20,255 Hello! Wait for me! 1150 01:07:22,663 --> 01:07:27,896 - What are you doing here? - Just making sure a fair fight's fair. 1151 01:07:28,002 --> 01:07:29,902 Call them out, Mr. Dyer. 1152 01:07:30,004 --> 01:07:31,938 I'm, uh, sorry, ma'am? 1153 01:07:38,879 --> 01:07:42,212 Cloud! You and your men, come on out! 1154 01:07:43,317 --> 01:07:45,148 Oh, shit. 1155 01:07:45,252 --> 01:07:48,278 Come on! I know you're there! 1156 01:07:50,758 --> 01:07:52,726 All right, come on out. 1157 01:07:53,828 --> 01:07:55,796 Everyone onto the fairway. 1158 01:07:58,232 --> 01:08:00,462 Let's move. On the fairway. On the fairway. 1159 01:08:02,069 --> 01:08:04,663 We're securing the perimeter, Mrs. Cole! 1160 01:08:04,772 --> 01:08:07,673 Secure it from there. Okay? 1161 01:08:07,775 --> 01:08:09,675 Yes, ma'am. 1162 01:08:10,711 --> 01:08:12,611 Stay in position. 1163 01:08:12,713 --> 01:08:15,614 Hit away, lambkins. 1164 01:08:27,061 --> 01:08:29,359 Wait... W-Wait for the bounce. 1165 01:08:34,068 --> 01:08:36,332 Damn. Take a mulligan. 1166 01:08:36,437 --> 01:08:39,338 We're playing for a woman, sir. There's no mulligans. 1167 01:08:39,440 --> 01:08:42,341 What? What do I do? 1168 01:08:42,443 --> 01:08:45,935 - You've never hit a ball out of bounds before? - Not since I was governor. 1169 01:08:46,047 --> 01:08:49,608 You hit another one from here, shooting three. 1170 01:08:49,717 --> 01:08:51,708 - Three? - Three. 1171 01:08:51,819 --> 01:08:54,811 One, two... 1172 01:08:54,922 --> 01:08:56,856 Shooting three. 1173 01:09:00,161 --> 01:09:03,255 - Excuse me, Mr. President. - What? 1174 01:09:03,364 --> 01:09:05,229 You can't beat him, sir. 1175 01:09:05,332 --> 01:09:07,960 What are you talking about? We're the same handicap. 1176 01:09:08,069 --> 01:09:10,560 Well, your handicap... is augmented. 1177 01:09:10,671 --> 01:09:14,607 - What are you trying to say? - Well, it was really Miss Sutherland's idea. 1178 01:09:14,708 --> 01:09:16,608 She had Dyer and Cloud... 1179 01:09:16,710 --> 01:09:19,406 and occasionally me... uh, we helped you... 1180 01:09:19,513 --> 01:09:22,209 with lucky bounces and score card fudging. 1181 01:09:22,316 --> 01:09:25,217 Uh, you can't beat him, sir. 1182 01:09:25,319 --> 01:09:28,220 Is there a problem? 1183 01:09:28,322 --> 01:09:30,313 No. 1184 01:09:32,193 --> 01:09:35,094 No problem. 1185 01:09:43,337 --> 01:09:45,430 That one's in. 1186 01:09:45,539 --> 01:09:47,769 Didn't quite get it on the green. 1187 01:09:49,910 --> 01:09:51,810 No, l-l-I'll take it. 1188 01:09:51,912 --> 01:09:53,880 You two have helped enough. 1189 01:10:01,222 --> 01:10:03,122 Hi, Peggy. Can I get a black coffee? 1190 01:10:03,224 --> 01:10:05,089 Sure. 1191 01:10:05,192 --> 01:10:07,023 Hello. 1192 01:10:07,128 --> 01:10:09,255 Hello. 1193 01:10:09,363 --> 01:10:11,888 - Here you are, dear. - Thanks. 1194 01:10:14,301 --> 01:10:17,202 So, I hear they're golfing for mayor. 1195 01:10:17,304 --> 01:10:19,431 Actually... 1196 01:10:19,540 --> 01:10:21,531 they're golfing for you. 1197 01:10:21,642 --> 01:10:24,406 - No. - Yeah. 1198 01:10:24,512 --> 01:10:25,945 - No. - Mmm. 1199 01:10:27,047 --> 01:10:29,538 Can I make this an Irish coffee? 1200 01:10:29,650 --> 01:10:31,618 This okay? 1201 01:10:41,662 --> 01:10:43,630 Just... 1202 01:11:00,881 --> 01:11:02,781 Oh, that's a five. 1203 01:11:08,689 --> 01:11:10,623 - That was a gimme. 1204 01:11:10,724 --> 01:11:12,453 No, no, no. There are no gimmes. 1205 01:11:12,560 --> 01:11:15,859 - It was inside the leather. - Yeah, you gotta get it in the hole. 1206 01:11:22,570 --> 01:11:25,095 - I'll take a seven. 1207 01:11:25,206 --> 01:11:27,106 Actually, it's 15. 1208 01:11:27,208 --> 01:11:29,142 Fifteen? 1209 01:11:29,243 --> 01:11:31,541 - No way! - Yes way. 1210 01:11:31,645 --> 01:11:34,307 - The president is right. It's seven. - Yeah, it was seven. 1211 01:11:34,415 --> 01:11:36,349 Well, let's count 'em. 1212 01:11:36,450 --> 01:11:38,680 One, out of bounds. Two, back on the tee. 1213 01:11:38,786 --> 01:11:40,617 Three, in the rough. 1214 01:11:40,721 --> 01:11:42,985 Four, in the sand. 1215 01:11:43,090 --> 01:11:46,651 - Five, you missed completely. - Oh! 1216 01:11:46,760 --> 01:11:49,991 Six, uh, almost out of sand, but still in it. 1217 01:11:51,332 --> 01:11:53,698 Seven, finally out of the sand... 1218 01:11:53,801 --> 01:11:55,735 into that sand. 1219 01:11:57,004 --> 01:11:59,734 Eight, out of the sand, into the rough. 1220 01:11:59,840 --> 01:12:03,332 That's when you threw your club at the tree. Yeah. 1221 01:12:03,444 --> 01:12:04,968 Yeah. 1222 01:12:05,079 --> 01:12:07,343 Nine, you almost hit me. 1223 01:12:07,448 --> 01:12:10,212 Ten, you did hit me. 1224 01:12:14,088 --> 01:12:18,286 Eleven, on the green. Twelve, you putt to six feet past the hole. 1225 01:12:18,392 --> 01:12:22,089 - That's when you said that curse that I've never heard before. 1226 01:12:22,196 --> 01:12:24,255 Thirteen, you putt to one foot from the hole. 1227 01:12:24,365 --> 01:12:27,198 Fourteen, you missed the putt. You said, "That's a gimme. '" 1228 01:12:27,301 --> 01:12:29,030 I said, "No, there are no gimmes. '" 1229 01:12:29,136 --> 01:12:31,730 Fifteen, in the hole. 1230 01:12:31,839 --> 01:12:35,172 Fifteen. 1231 01:12:35,276 --> 01:12:39,406 - Oh.! That was so close.! 1232 01:12:39,513 --> 01:12:43,540 All right, now, through the sugars... 1233 01:12:43,651 --> 01:12:45,551 Mm-hmm. 1234 01:12:45,653 --> 01:12:48,178 And then around the saucer... 1235 01:12:48,289 --> 01:12:50,189 Mm-hmm. 1236 01:12:50,291 --> 01:12:52,191 And through the ketchup tunnel. 1237 01:12:52,293 --> 01:12:55,524 And the winner gets Morris Gutman. 1238 01:12:55,629 --> 01:12:58,462 - Married. - Oh. Kent. 1239 01:13:00,501 --> 01:13:04,198 Are you trying to get me to throw the match? 1240 01:13:04,305 --> 01:13:07,468 - Mmm. Reuben. - Who? Who's Reuben? 1241 01:13:07,574 --> 01:13:09,804 "I said, get the president!" 1242 01:13:09,910 --> 01:13:13,346 That's a great idea. 1243 01:13:13,447 --> 01:13:15,847 The winner gets Reuben. 1244 01:13:15,949 --> 01:13:17,917 Ready? 1245 01:13:25,426 --> 01:13:27,553 I just need a do-over. 1246 01:13:29,029 --> 01:13:32,692 Okay, Handy, you're up about a million strokes. 1247 01:13:32,800 --> 01:13:35,769 It's the last hole. How about double or nothing? 1248 01:13:35,869 --> 01:13:38,030 What's "double"? What's "nothing"? 1249 01:13:38,138 --> 01:13:43,633 Well, "nothing" is, uh, we're even, tie, status quo. 1250 01:13:43,744 --> 01:13:47,840 Uh, "double" would be, uh, I back off Sally, drop out of the mayor's race. 1251 01:13:48,949 --> 01:13:52,350 You got it. Okay. Go ahead. You hit. 1252 01:13:52,453 --> 01:13:54,353 But, you know... 1253 01:13:54,455 --> 01:13:57,686 if I'm gonna risk, uh, all that... 1254 01:13:59,026 --> 01:14:00,926 you gotta give me something. 1255 01:14:01,028 --> 01:14:03,053 You gotta, uh... Oh, I don't know... 1256 01:14:03,163 --> 01:14:05,063 What? 1257 01:14:05,165 --> 01:14:07,258 One throw. 1258 01:14:07,368 --> 01:14:10,394 - Throw? - Yeah, I get one throw. 1259 01:14:10,504 --> 01:14:14,065 Because I can't play you even. You got local knowledge here. You're killing me. 1260 01:14:14,174 --> 01:14:17,541 He can't throw either. Bury him. 1261 01:14:18,979 --> 01:14:21,539 Okay. You get one throw. 1262 01:14:21,648 --> 01:14:24,776 But if we tie, I win. 1263 01:14:24,885 --> 01:14:28,616 Well, you drive a hard bargain, but okay. 1264 01:14:38,832 --> 01:14:42,063 Yeah, baby.! 1265 01:14:42,169 --> 01:14:44,069 There's the old form back. 1266 01:14:44,171 --> 01:14:46,139 Okay. 1267 01:14:56,517 --> 01:14:58,451 What? 1268 01:14:58,552 --> 01:15:00,850 Hey, what... what are you doing? 1269 01:15:00,954 --> 01:15:03,252 Hey! What's that? 1270 01:15:04,691 --> 01:15:07,660 I said one throw. I didn't say whose ball. 1271 01:15:09,596 --> 01:15:12,394 - You're out of bounds. 1272 01:15:12,499 --> 01:15:14,433 Click, click, click. 1273 01:15:19,373 --> 01:15:21,273 Good morning, sir. Everything all right? 1274 01:15:21,375 --> 01:15:23,275 Oh, just dandy. 1275 01:15:23,377 --> 01:15:26,107 I'm a 10 handicap, and I shot a 142. 1276 01:15:26,213 --> 01:15:29,842 You and I have to have a serious talk about my handicap, Miss Sutherland. 1277 01:15:29,950 --> 01:15:31,850 Now, Mr. President? 1278 01:15:31,952 --> 01:15:33,510 Later. 1279 01:15:33,620 --> 01:15:36,555 I heard you broke even. At least you didn't lose. 1280 01:15:36,657 --> 01:15:38,989 The most humiliating round of my life. 1281 01:15:39,092 --> 01:15:42,027 Time to take the gloves off, Bert. Let's bury this guy. 1282 01:15:42,129 --> 01:15:45,292 - Well, sir, he's clean as a whistle. - Oh, come on. 1283 01:15:45,399 --> 01:15:47,299 Surely he did something. 1284 01:15:47,401 --> 01:15:49,301 Knocked up a local, grew marijuana. 1285 01:15:49,403 --> 01:15:51,303 Hell, I grew marijuana. 1286 01:15:51,405 --> 01:15:55,501 We'll find dirt, Eagle, even if we have to make it up. 1287 01:15:55,609 --> 01:15:58,009 - Exactly. - I don't believe this. 1288 01:15:58,111 --> 01:16:00,238 What? 1289 01:16:01,281 --> 01:16:03,340 Mr. President. 1290 01:16:03,450 --> 01:16:05,850 - I'm giving my notice. - Your notice? 1291 01:16:05,953 --> 01:16:08,979 Yes. I can't work here any longer. 1292 01:16:09,089 --> 01:16:12,081 Are you drunk, for God's sakes? We've been together 15 years. 1293 01:16:12,192 --> 01:16:14,092 Yes, exactly. 1294 01:16:14,194 --> 01:16:17,095 And in all that time you have never once gone negative. 1295 01:16:17,197 --> 01:16:19,097 At least not first. 1296 01:16:19,199 --> 01:16:23,693 And you have never, ever stooped to threats or... harassment. 1297 01:16:23,804 --> 01:16:26,068 Grace, he brought in Charlotte. 1298 01:16:26,173 --> 01:16:29,006 Charlotte. If that's not harassment, what is? 1299 01:16:29,109 --> 01:16:32,840 Mr. President, you have two days... 1300 01:16:32,946 --> 01:16:35,540 two hours and 21 minutes... 1301 01:16:35,649 --> 01:16:37,549 until this election is over. 1302 01:16:37,651 --> 01:16:40,245 And then I'm gone. 1303 01:16:42,956 --> 01:16:44,856 What's that? 1304 01:16:44,958 --> 01:16:47,518 I think she quit, sir. 1305 01:16:47,628 --> 01:16:50,188 Not that. That. 1306 01:16:50,297 --> 01:16:53,061 Oh, this? It's a new poll. Five points. 1307 01:16:53,166 --> 01:16:55,634 - Five? - Down. 1308 01:16:55,736 --> 01:16:58,068 What's the sample size? 1309 01:16:58,171 --> 01:17:00,969 Come on, Bert. What's the sample size? 1310 01:17:01,074 --> 01:17:05,374 - Everybody. - Everybody? This is a disaster.! 1311 01:17:05,479 --> 01:17:09,074 Not to pile on, sir, but I'm worried about the book deals too. 1312 01:17:09,182 --> 01:17:12,083 Aw, crap. It's like some mythic Greek puzzle. 1313 01:17:12,185 --> 01:17:15,416 "The riddle of the handyman. Somewhere, the answer." 1314 01:17:15,522 --> 01:17:17,547 Sir, let's not panic. This isn't over. 1315 01:17:17,658 --> 01:17:19,751 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 1316 01:17:19,860 --> 01:17:22,988 - What's wrong with us? - What? 1317 01:17:23,096 --> 01:17:24,798 - I'll give it to him. It's that simple. - Wait. You don't mean quit. 1318 01:17:24,798 --> 01:17:26,595 - I'll give it to him. It's that simple. - Wait. You don't mean quit. 1319 01:17:26,700 --> 01:17:28,600 You can't quit, Eagle. 1320 01:17:28,702 --> 01:17:31,136 I wouldn't be quitting. That's the beauty of it. 1321 01:17:31,238 --> 01:17:34,139 I'll say how qualified he is, how he's the best man for the job. 1322 01:17:34,241 --> 01:17:37,335 And tonight, at the debate, I'll throw him my support. 1323 01:17:37,444 --> 01:17:39,344 If I win, I win. 1324 01:17:39,446 --> 01:17:43,780 But if I lose, it's because I made the most magnanimous gesture in political history... 1325 01:17:43,884 --> 01:17:46,512 and people took my advice. 1326 01:17:46,620 --> 01:17:49,248 - That's brilliant, sir. - Thank you. 1327 01:17:50,390 --> 01:17:52,950 And then I'd get the girl. Uh... 1328 01:17:53,060 --> 01:17:56,427 - Sally. - Sally! Right. 1329 01:18:02,402 --> 01:18:05,030 - Sally. Hey, hi. I'm... I'm here. 1330 01:18:06,773 --> 01:18:10,300 I'm getting ready for the debate. You wanna come in? 1331 01:18:10,410 --> 01:18:13,868 No, I'm gonna get goin'. See ya. 1332 01:18:13,981 --> 01:18:15,846 Hold it. What's going on? 1333 01:18:17,117 --> 01:18:18,948 What's all this stuff? 1334 01:18:19,052 --> 01:18:21,816 Oh. I, um... 1335 01:18:21,922 --> 01:18:24,220 I won Reuben in a putting contest... 1336 01:18:24,324 --> 01:18:26,849 so I have to make room for some of his stuff. 1337 01:18:26,960 --> 01:18:29,895 - You... what? - I know. 1338 01:18:29,997 --> 01:18:35,060 I mean, can you imagine someone actually playing golf to win a person? 1339 01:18:36,670 --> 01:18:38,365 - Now, look... - No. 1340 01:18:38,472 --> 01:18:40,372 Don't insult me by trying to defend this... 1341 01:18:40,474 --> 01:18:43,170 'cause if I let myself dwell on it, I am really gonna lose it. 1342 01:18:43,276 --> 01:18:45,403 - But, Sally, it wasn't... - I said don't. 1343 01:18:45,512 --> 01:18:49,209 - Easy. - I just wanna settle this amicably. Okay? 1344 01:18:49,316 --> 01:18:51,807 - There's your stuff. - My stuff? Wh... 1345 01:18:51,918 --> 01:18:54,443 Hold on, hold on. This is yours. 1346 01:18:56,156 --> 01:18:57,987 Remember? 1347 01:18:58,091 --> 01:19:01,083 From me. Christmas. 1348 01:19:02,696 --> 01:19:04,596 Don't you remember? 1349 01:19:04,698 --> 01:19:07,929 That was the year the power went out. We had that big snowstorm. 1350 01:19:08,035 --> 01:19:13,098 We were so frustrated. We couldn't turn this on and watch it. 1351 01:19:14,508 --> 01:19:17,909 Then the power came back and we turned it on, and... 1352 01:19:19,680 --> 01:19:21,705 and you looked so beautiful... 1353 01:19:22,816 --> 01:19:25,080 by the light of it. 1354 01:19:25,185 --> 01:19:27,278 And then we... 1355 01:19:27,387 --> 01:19:29,548 You know. 1356 01:19:29,656 --> 01:19:32,887 By the light of it. 1357 01:19:32,993 --> 01:19:34,961 I remember. 1358 01:19:36,196 --> 01:19:38,790 And then we stayed up all night and talked. 1359 01:19:38,899 --> 01:19:40,867 Yeah. Yeah. 1360 01:19:42,035 --> 01:19:44,299 Do you remember what we talked about? 1361 01:19:46,440 --> 01:19:48,408 No. 1362 01:19:49,676 --> 01:19:52,076 The future. 1363 01:19:52,179 --> 01:19:54,943 We talked about the future, Handy. 1364 01:20:00,821 --> 01:20:02,652 Sally, wait. 1365 01:20:04,991 --> 01:20:06,959 I don't wanna wait anymore. 1366 01:20:08,161 --> 01:20:10,061 Good luck at the debate. 1367 01:20:10,163 --> 01:20:12,188 Are you coming? 1368 01:20:19,906 --> 01:20:21,874 She's not coming. 1369 01:20:38,625 --> 01:20:41,890 All right, guys, that's it. Two minutes. We go in two minutes. 1370 01:20:44,531 --> 01:20:47,295 Two minutes, Mr. President. Excuse me, sir. 1371 01:20:47,400 --> 01:20:50,301 My hands are shaking. I can't even go to the bathroom. I'll pee all over the place. 1372 01:20:50,403 --> 01:20:52,303 Relax, honey. 1373 01:20:52,405 --> 01:20:54,305 - I'm not ready for this. - Two minutes, Handy. 1374 01:20:54,407 --> 01:20:56,705 - Yeah. - Be on your toes. Be sharp. 1375 01:20:56,810 --> 01:20:59,711 You may have won the first debate, but he's a python. 1376 01:20:59,813 --> 01:21:02,543 Gentlemen, I believe we're ready. 1377 01:21:02,649 --> 01:21:04,549 It's starting! 1378 01:21:04,651 --> 01:21:07,848 Live, from the seaport town of Mooseport, Maine... 1379 01:21:07,954 --> 01:21:09,854 the mayoral debates... 1380 01:21:09,956 --> 01:21:12,015 with your candidates Monroe "Eagle" Cole... 1381 01:21:12,125 --> 01:21:14,025 and Harold "Handy" Harrison. 1382 01:21:14,127 --> 01:21:18,223 We take you now to your moderator, Avery Hightower. 1383 01:21:20,801 --> 01:21:23,361 Good evening. I'm Avery Hightower. 1384 01:21:26,807 --> 01:21:28,707 I am honored to moderate... 1385 01:21:28,809 --> 01:21:33,746 the second and final Mooseport mayoral debate. 1386 01:21:36,683 --> 01:21:41,052 As is tradition, we will start with a game of rock-paper-scissors... 1387 01:21:41,154 --> 01:21:43,748 - Handy! Not scissors. 1388 01:21:43,857 --> 01:21:45,984 Gentlemen. 1389 01:21:48,361 --> 01:21:50,261 Uh, Mr. Hightower, could l... 1390 01:21:50,363 --> 01:21:52,854 I'd like to make a statement first, if that's okay. 1391 01:21:52,966 --> 01:21:54,866 Mr. President? 1392 01:21:54,968 --> 01:21:57,562 No, that's fine. I have a statement also. 1393 01:21:57,671 --> 01:22:00,299 - Just... Okay? Thank you. - Yes. Gentlemen. 1394 01:22:03,543 --> 01:22:05,238 Hey. Hi, everybody. 1395 01:22:05,345 --> 01:22:09,008 - Hi, Handy. - I just wanna say one thing. 1396 01:22:09,115 --> 01:22:11,242 I'm a little embarrassed... 1397 01:22:11,351 --> 01:22:13,751 about the way I've been running my campaign. 1398 01:22:13,854 --> 01:22:16,186 - Ohh! 1399 01:22:16,289 --> 01:22:20,191 An election, it shouldn't be about personalities. 1400 01:22:20,293 --> 01:22:22,955 You know? Or... Or golf. 1401 01:22:24,397 --> 01:22:27,127 - Or who we're dating. 1402 01:22:28,501 --> 01:22:32,062 Sally, if you're watching this... 1403 01:22:32,172 --> 01:22:36,438 I was wrong to bring our relationship into this. 1404 01:22:36,543 --> 01:22:38,443 I'm sorry. 1405 01:22:38,545 --> 01:22:40,206 Mmm. 1406 01:22:40,313 --> 01:22:43,214 I guess I did it again. I just brought our relationship into it again. 1407 01:22:43,316 --> 01:22:45,716 - So I'm sorry for that... 1408 01:22:45,819 --> 01:22:48,253 too. 1409 01:22:48,355 --> 01:22:51,256 I guess what I want to say, folks, is... 1410 01:22:51,358 --> 01:22:55,488 I think an election should be about the town, about what we need... 1411 01:22:55,595 --> 01:22:58,758 and how we can work together to get things done. 1412 01:22:58,865 --> 01:23:01,732 The president can do great things for us. 1413 01:23:02,769 --> 01:23:05,294 - Son of a... - Bitch. 1414 01:23:05,405 --> 01:23:08,499 Having him as a mayor, that's an opportunity that we can't pass up, folks. 1415 01:23:08,608 --> 01:23:10,405 Yeah. Right.! 1416 01:23:10,510 --> 01:23:15,072 Tomorrow morning I'm going to the polls... 1417 01:23:15,181 --> 01:23:18,082 and I'm casting my vote for the president... 1418 01:23:18,184 --> 01:23:20,414 Monroe Cole... 1419 01:23:20,520 --> 01:23:23,250 for the mayor of Mooseport. 1420 01:23:28,895 --> 01:23:30,760 Son of a bitch! 1421 01:23:33,166 --> 01:23:35,327 Ladies and gentlemen... 1422 01:23:35,435 --> 01:23:37,335 what you've just seen... 1423 01:23:37,437 --> 01:23:39,337 is a selfless act. 1424 01:23:41,808 --> 01:23:43,708 Handy Harrison... 1425 01:23:43,810 --> 01:23:46,370 is... Mooseport. 1426 01:23:48,915 --> 01:23:51,475 He... He is Mooseport. 1427 01:23:51,584 --> 01:23:55,315 He knows its problems, he knows its pulse... 1428 01:23:55,422 --> 01:23:57,390 he knows its plumbing... 1429 01:23:58,959 --> 01:24:01,860 as only a person who lives here can. 1430 01:24:01,962 --> 01:24:03,930 So tomorrow morning... 1431 01:24:05,565 --> 01:24:07,658 I'm going to the polls. 1432 01:24:07,767 --> 01:24:10,668 I'm walking into that booth and opening that ballot... 1433 01:24:10,770 --> 01:24:12,670 that simple piece of paper... 1434 01:24:12,772 --> 01:24:15,366 that our forefathers gave their lives to secure... 1435 01:24:17,844 --> 01:24:20,540 And I'm casting my vote for Harrison. 1436 01:24:20,647 --> 01:24:23,207 Harold "Handy" Harrison. Let's hear it.! 1437 01:24:32,425 --> 01:24:34,222 - Man, he's good. - Mm-hmm. 1438 01:24:40,300 --> 01:24:44,202 Well, what you've just seen, ladies and gentlemen, is politics at its finest. 1439 01:24:44,304 --> 01:24:47,102 - Politics as it should be. 1440 01:24:47,207 --> 01:24:50,108 - You did good. - I felt like I had to do that. 1441 01:24:50,210 --> 01:24:53,043 - Harrison. - Hey. That was something, Mr. President. 1442 01:24:53,146 --> 01:24:56,843 You son of a bitch. You knew I was gonna do that, so you did it first. 1443 01:24:56,950 --> 01:24:59,248 - I didn't know that. How could I know that? - You bugged me! 1444 01:24:59,352 --> 01:25:03,186 What we have just witnessed here, on this rare night... 1445 01:25:03,289 --> 01:25:05,416 - You bugged me! - I'm not doing anything! 1446 01:25:05,525 --> 01:25:07,686 - Is a show of decency... - Let me go! 1447 01:25:07,794 --> 01:25:11,423 - A show of inclusiveness... - Ow.! Let go of my arm.! 1448 01:25:11,531 --> 01:25:13,965 A show of mutual respect. 1449 01:25:14,067 --> 01:25:17,366 - Let go of me! 1450 01:25:17,470 --> 01:25:19,961 It's time to follow their example. It's time to... 1451 01:25:22,709 --> 01:25:24,611 - Let go of me.! 1452 01:25:24,611 --> 01:25:26,044 - Let go of me.! 1453 01:25:26,146 --> 01:25:29,445 Mr. President, are you okay? I'm gonna get it off! 1454 01:25:30,550 --> 01:25:33,246 Oww.! Bullard.! Get it off me.! 1455 01:25:33,353 --> 01:25:36,254 So, Danny, you see that debate last night? 1456 01:25:36,356 --> 01:25:38,756 - Did I. Was anybody hurt? - What? 1457 01:25:38,858 --> 01:25:41,383 Miraculously not. Apparently only minor bruises and abrasions. 1458 01:25:41,494 --> 01:25:44,395 - What happened? - They're saying it was a freak accident. 1459 01:25:44,497 --> 01:25:46,397 Yeah, very freaky. 1460 01:25:46,499 --> 01:25:48,399 Apparently, the stage rigging snapped... 1461 01:25:48,501 --> 01:25:51,402 and fell on the candidates while they were shaking hands. 1462 01:25:51,504 --> 01:25:53,836 - Wow. Well, you know what we say. - It's Mooseport.! 1463 01:25:53,940 --> 01:25:55,908 Polls open in 20 minutes, Mr. President. 1464 01:25:56,009 --> 01:25:59,274 - How about a little music to vote by? - Good idea.! 1465 01:26:06,019 --> 01:26:08,249 Good morning, sir. 1466 01:26:08,354 --> 01:26:11,346 Morning, Mr. President. 1467 01:26:16,796 --> 01:26:19,959 - Cloud, pull over here, will you. 1468 01:26:30,443 --> 01:26:32,411 How's your nose? 1469 01:26:34,247 --> 01:26:37,648 It's okay. How's your lip? And your back? 1470 01:26:38,751 --> 01:26:41,049 It's just the lip, and, uh... 1471 01:26:41,154 --> 01:26:43,054 it's fine. 1472 01:26:43,156 --> 01:26:45,056 Well, I just... 1473 01:26:45,158 --> 01:26:47,058 assumed your back hurt... 1474 01:26:47,160 --> 01:26:49,560 with, you know, Irma jumping on it. 1475 01:26:57,737 --> 01:26:59,637 Well... 1476 01:26:59,739 --> 01:27:01,639 see you at the polls. 1477 01:27:01,741 --> 01:27:04,972 Wanna hit a few? 1478 01:27:05,078 --> 01:27:06,978 What, just hit 'em into the water? 1479 01:27:07,080 --> 01:27:08,741 Yeah. 1480 01:27:08,848 --> 01:27:11,578 Martha's into scuba... 1481 01:27:11,684 --> 01:27:14,653 and in the spring she puts on a wet suit and she goes and gets 'em. 1482 01:27:14,754 --> 01:27:18,485 Somehow or another, I can't picture Martha in a wet suit. 1483 01:27:18,591 --> 01:27:21,719 Yeah, well, you're lucky. I can't not picture it. 1484 01:27:21,828 --> 01:27:24,490 All right. 1485 01:27:33,606 --> 01:27:37,702 Oh.! You topped, pulled and hooked it all in one. 1486 01:27:37,810 --> 01:27:40,040 Here. Let me show you... 1487 01:27:40,146 --> 01:27:43,547 Mr. President, you've shaken a lot of hands. 1488 01:27:46,352 --> 01:27:48,616 - Shake hands with the club. - Like this? 1489 01:27:48,721 --> 01:27:50,689 Yes. Now, just look at the ball... 1490 01:27:52,225 --> 01:27:54,887 and picture like it's the former first lady. 1491 01:27:54,994 --> 01:27:56,928 Just whack it. 1492 01:27:59,332 --> 01:28:01,300 Blood-sucking vampire. 1493 01:28:01,401 --> 01:28:02,925 Aah! 1494 01:28:03,036 --> 01:28:06,403 Wow.! You two had issues. 1495 01:28:06,506 --> 01:28:08,406 Oh, Jesus! 1496 01:28:10,476 --> 01:28:12,637 So, uh... 1497 01:28:12,745 --> 01:28:15,373 how come you didn't ask her? 1498 01:28:15,481 --> 01:28:18,382 - Ask her what? - You know. 1499 01:28:18,484 --> 01:28:20,452 Oh. Well... 1500 01:28:21,921 --> 01:28:24,890 I don't know. I probably should have. 1501 01:28:24,991 --> 01:28:26,822 Scared, I guess. 1502 01:28:26,926 --> 01:28:29,986 Well, marriage is a scary thing. 1503 01:28:30,096 --> 01:28:32,496 I'd be the first one to tell you that. 1504 01:28:32,599 --> 01:28:37,229 But once in a while there comes along that special girl. 1505 01:28:37,337 --> 01:28:41,000 No, I mean, that's just it. She is special. 1506 01:28:42,408 --> 01:28:44,137 I just figured... 1507 01:28:44,244 --> 01:28:46,576 eventually... 1508 01:28:46,679 --> 01:28:49,580 she'll find somebody else. 1509 01:28:49,682 --> 01:28:54,642 And, you know, you always hope that next guy will be some loser... 1510 01:28:55,822 --> 01:28:57,790 not the president. 1511 01:29:02,595 --> 01:29:05,860 Handy, on the 16th hole of our match... 1512 01:29:05,965 --> 01:29:07,865 you laid up. 1513 01:29:07,967 --> 01:29:10,128 Yeah. I remember. I did. 1514 01:29:10,236 --> 01:29:13,501 - You played it safe. - So? You ended up in the water. 1515 01:29:13,606 --> 01:29:17,064 I never would have been president of the United States... 1516 01:29:17,176 --> 01:29:19,144 if I'd laid up. 1517 01:29:30,590 --> 01:29:33,559 Sometimes you just gotta go for the green. 1518 01:29:36,329 --> 01:29:38,297 Let's go vote. 1519 01:29:41,834 --> 01:29:44,234 - Out of the way.! - Here he is.! 1520 01:29:44,337 --> 01:29:47,738 - Hold them back! 1521 01:29:47,840 --> 01:29:50,809 Mr. President, over here.! Please, we have some questions.! 1522 01:29:52,845 --> 01:29:55,746 Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Please step back. 1523 01:29:55,848 --> 01:29:58,316 No comments today. No questions. 1524 01:29:58,418 --> 01:30:00,318 - Okay, thanks. - Thank you. 1525 01:30:00,420 --> 01:30:02,820 - Okay. - Please.! One question.! 1526 01:30:05,325 --> 01:30:07,725 Kindly walk in over there. 1527 01:30:09,262 --> 01:30:12,493 The pageantry of democracy is working. 1528 01:30:12,598 --> 01:30:14,759 That's why we love Mooseport so much. 1529 01:30:18,204 --> 01:30:20,365 Once a politician... 1530 01:30:26,679 --> 01:30:29,239 always a politician. 1531 01:30:29,415 --> 01:30:31,747 It's 10 minutes past the hour... 1532 01:30:31,851 --> 01:30:35,082 and there are 20 minutes left before the polls close in Mooseport, Maine. 1533 01:30:35,188 --> 01:30:37,486 With the former president's campaign spending millions... 1534 01:30:37,590 --> 01:30:40,388 on TV, radio and print advertising... 1535 01:30:40,493 --> 01:30:43,792 it's an amazing feat that Handy Harrison's grass-roots campaign... 1536 01:30:43,896 --> 01:30:45,796 still has him neck-and-neck... 1537 01:30:45,898 --> 01:30:49,129 It was so beautiful. 1538 01:31:00,346 --> 01:31:02,439 - Hello. - Oh. 1539 01:31:02,548 --> 01:31:04,448 Spectacular, isn't it? 1540 01:31:04,550 --> 01:31:07,713 - I was thinking about... - For once don't talk, please. 1541 01:31:07,820 --> 01:31:11,256 - What? - Just listen. Okay? Can you do that? 1542 01:31:13,826 --> 01:31:15,726 A long while back... 1543 01:31:15,828 --> 01:31:18,729 my mom asked me what I saw in you. 1544 01:31:18,831 --> 01:31:22,392 You probably find it hard to believe that anybody could ask such a thing... 1545 01:31:22,502 --> 01:31:24,470 but she did. 1546 01:31:26,239 --> 01:31:29,538 "I see a man I admire," I told her. 1547 01:31:29,642 --> 01:31:34,170 "A flawed man, certainly, but a man with principles." 1548 01:31:35,648 --> 01:31:37,616 Since this Handy thing... 1549 01:31:39,118 --> 01:31:41,018 I've seen a man... 1550 01:31:41,120 --> 01:31:44,578 who only cares about ego and power... 1551 01:31:44,690 --> 01:31:48,126 a man who will stoop to anything... 1552 01:31:48,227 --> 01:31:51,128 to win a position he doesn't even want... 1553 01:31:51,230 --> 01:31:54,324 from someone he probably shouldn't even beat. 1554 01:31:54,434 --> 01:31:58,666 And it angers me, and it upsets me. 1555 01:31:58,771 --> 01:32:01,672 - Oh, and mostly it just makes me sad. - Grace... 1556 01:32:01,774 --> 01:32:05,642 Because... you used to be better than that, Monroe. 1557 01:32:05,745 --> 01:32:07,713 You really were. 1558 01:32:18,391 --> 01:32:21,690 And that is no handshake, you son of a bitch. 1559 01:32:34,073 --> 01:32:35,904 Sugar, Mr. President? 1560 01:32:36,008 --> 01:32:38,408 Oh, uh, three, please. 1561 01:32:38,511 --> 01:32:41,503 No, no, no. One. 1562 01:32:41,614 --> 01:32:43,878 - Good morning, Mr. President. - Good morning. 1563 01:32:43,983 --> 01:32:45,644 Where's Grace? 1564 01:32:45,751 --> 01:32:48,345 - I don't know, sir. - Could you find her, please? 1565 01:32:48,454 --> 01:32:50,615 Yes, sir. Let's go. 1566 01:32:53,893 --> 01:32:57,954 Eagle, we gotta get moving. They want you down in town for the announcement. 1567 01:32:58,064 --> 01:33:02,091 Announcement? I can't expose myself to an announcement without knowing who won. 1568 01:33:02,201 --> 01:33:04,101 They won't tell me, Eagle. 1569 01:33:04,203 --> 01:33:06,103 I've done everything short of bribing them... 1570 01:33:06,205 --> 01:33:08,673 with a year's supply of beer and night crawlers... 1571 01:33:08,774 --> 01:33:11,106 but I'll get down there and work on it. 1572 01:33:11,210 --> 01:33:14,111 Get on that toga and get down to that circus, Eagle. 1573 01:33:14,213 --> 01:33:17,444 Please, sir. 1574 01:33:17,550 --> 01:33:20,610 Sally, um... 1575 01:33:21,787 --> 01:33:24,779 Handy.! You back here? 1576 01:33:24,891 --> 01:33:26,984 - Uh, hey. - It's time, man. 1577 01:33:27,093 --> 01:33:31,462 - Yeah, I know. - Don't you want to find out if you won or lost... badly? 1578 01:33:31,564 --> 01:33:34,158 - I'm gonna... Yeah, go ahead. - No, I'll wait for ya. 1579 01:33:34,267 --> 01:33:36,064 - I'm gonna meet you there. - I want to. - No, go. 1580 01:33:36,168 --> 01:33:38,261 You're my ride, man. Come on! 1581 01:33:38,371 --> 01:33:40,271 Okay. All right. Let's go. 1582 01:33:49,015 --> 01:33:50,915 In a few moments... 1583 01:33:51,017 --> 01:33:54,316 Former President Cole and Harold "Handy" Harrison are due to arrive. 1584 01:33:54,420 --> 01:33:57,912 Will big politics and big money carry the day, or will the little man prevail? 1585 01:33:58,024 --> 01:34:00,925 - We shall soon see. - Testing.! Testing, testing.! 1586 01:34:01,027 --> 01:34:02,927 We're just about ready to start. 1587 01:34:03,029 --> 01:34:05,930 And, uh... Ah! I think I see the president coming now! 1588 01:34:06,032 --> 01:34:08,432 - Whoo-hoo! 1589 01:34:10,202 --> 01:34:12,466 - And, oh, there's Handy. 1590 01:34:12,572 --> 01:34:14,870 - Hey... Hey, did you see Sally? - No. 1591 01:34:14,974 --> 01:34:18,375 - Hmm. Well, when you see her, just let me know. Okay? - Okay, okay. 1592 01:34:18,477 --> 01:34:21,446 Mr. President, Handy, just come up here. Okay? 1593 01:34:21,547 --> 01:34:24,448 - Sir, the yellow speech is if you win. - Okay. 1594 01:34:24,550 --> 01:34:27,451 The blue one is if you, uh... 1595 01:34:27,553 --> 01:34:30,454 Should I get out of your eye line, sir? 1596 01:34:30,556 --> 01:34:32,990 Ah, come on, boy. 1597 01:34:34,093 --> 01:34:36,823 - Hey! How you doing? - How you doin'? 1598 01:34:36,929 --> 01:34:38,829 They're all here. 1599 01:34:38,931 --> 01:34:40,865 Thank you, sir. Again? 1600 01:34:43,069 --> 01:34:45,833 Yeah! 1601 01:34:47,173 --> 01:34:49,505 - Handy, you're the man.! 1602 01:34:49,609 --> 01:34:51,474 We need you, Mr. President! 1603 01:34:51,577 --> 01:34:54,478 In the 240-year history of our fair Mooseport... 1604 01:34:54,580 --> 01:34:58,072 there has never been a more exciting mayoral race! 1605 01:35:00,920 --> 01:35:04,321 Mr. President? Handy? 1606 01:35:04,423 --> 01:35:08,189 My fellow citizens, the new mayor of Mooseport is... 1607 01:35:11,797 --> 01:35:13,697 Monroe Cole! 1608 01:35:19,972 --> 01:35:21,940 - Congratulations. - Oh. Thank you. 1609 01:35:24,677 --> 01:35:29,512 As I'm sure you all know, this was Mooseport's largest election turnout ever! 1610 01:35:29,615 --> 01:35:32,049 - How big a margin? - Tight. Real tight. 1611 01:35:32,151 --> 01:35:34,051 But the win's the thing. 1612 01:35:34,153 --> 01:35:36,053 - It was so close. - Well, that's something. 1613 01:35:36,155 --> 01:35:38,055 - Right? - Yeah. 1614 01:35:38,157 --> 01:35:40,557 In the end, the president won... 1615 01:35:40,660 --> 01:35:42,560 by one vote! 1616 01:35:42,662 --> 01:35:44,562 - You won by one vote. 1617 01:35:44,664 --> 01:35:47,360 One vote? Oh, my God. 1618 01:35:47,466 --> 01:35:49,366 It doesn't get any closer.! 1619 01:35:49,468 --> 01:35:51,868 Wow. 1620 01:35:51,971 --> 01:35:53,871 - Ladies and gentlemen... - My vote. 1621 01:35:53,973 --> 01:35:57,033 The 23rd mayor of Mooseport... 1622 01:35:57,143 --> 01:35:58,872 Monroe "Eagle" Cole! 1623 01:36:02,415 --> 01:36:05,043 - Thank you, Morris. 1624 01:36:05,151 --> 01:36:07,517 Thank you, everybody. 1625 01:36:08,621 --> 01:36:10,521 Ladies and gentlemen... 1626 01:36:10,623 --> 01:36:12,523 once again... 1627 01:36:12,625 --> 01:36:15,958 the great American electoral process... 1628 01:36:16,062 --> 01:36:18,030 has... 1629 01:36:24,870 --> 01:36:26,770 Folks... 1630 01:36:26,872 --> 01:36:28,931 you know... 1631 01:36:29,041 --> 01:36:32,738 a little while ago a person who has been with me for years... 1632 01:36:32,845 --> 01:36:35,939 a person who I trust like no one else... 1633 01:36:36,048 --> 01:36:39,381 reminded me of my principles. 1634 01:36:39,485 --> 01:36:41,385 Shook some sense into me. 1635 01:36:41,487 --> 01:36:43,887 So I have a confession to make. 1636 01:36:43,989 --> 01:36:45,889 I said... 1637 01:36:45,991 --> 01:36:47,891 that I would vote for Handy. 1638 01:36:47,993 --> 01:36:50,587 L-I didn't. I voted for myself. 1639 01:36:50,696 --> 01:36:52,527 - What? 1640 01:36:56,602 --> 01:36:58,502 So my first act as mayor... 1641 01:36:58,604 --> 01:37:02,199 is to turn the job over to the rightful winner, Handy Harrison. 1642 01:37:02,308 --> 01:37:05,436 Handy, come on over here. Let's hear it for Handy. 1643 01:37:05,544 --> 01:37:08,274 Go, Handy.! All right.! 1644 01:37:09,548 --> 01:37:11,140 Whoo! All right! 1645 01:37:11,250 --> 01:37:13,184 - Come on. - Handy.! Handy.! 1646 01:37:13,285 --> 01:37:15,310 - Ah! - Mr. President, l... 1647 01:37:15,421 --> 01:37:17,321 Attaboy, Handy.! 1648 01:37:17,423 --> 01:37:19,857 Folks, I have a confession to make also. 1649 01:37:24,930 --> 01:37:27,364 - I voted for myself too. - What? 1650 01:37:29,935 --> 01:37:33,336 You won this thing fair and square, Mr. President. 1651 01:37:33,439 --> 01:37:38,638 So my first act as mayor is to turn the job back over to the rightful winner... 1652 01:37:38,744 --> 01:37:40,905 Mr. Monroe Cole! 1653 01:37:41,013 --> 01:37:42,878 - Yeah! Yeah! 1654 01:37:42,982 --> 01:37:44,847 Hmph! 1655 01:37:44,950 --> 01:37:47,544 There's no beating you, is there? 1656 01:37:47,653 --> 01:37:50,247 Not on this one, sir. 1657 01:37:50,356 --> 01:37:53,052 All right, I accept. 1658 01:37:58,597 --> 01:38:00,997 No, he won. 1659 01:38:01,100 --> 01:38:04,536 Well, tell HarperCollins Random House is back up to 20 mil. 1660 01:38:04,637 --> 01:38:07,538 Yes, please do. 1661 01:38:07,640 --> 01:38:10,074 And tell them to send me half. 1662 01:38:11,477 --> 01:38:13,945 - See you in D.C. 1663 01:38:18,851 --> 01:38:22,252 - Any sign of her? - Yes, sir. Agent Cloud found her. She's at the airport. 1664 01:38:22,354 --> 01:38:25,084 Airport? Come on. Let's get moving. 1665 01:38:27,193 --> 01:38:30,685 Look, Sally, uh, I don't know... 1666 01:38:30,796 --> 01:38:32,696 - Uh... - Hey, Handy. 1667 01:38:32,798 --> 01:38:34,698 - Nice try. - Oh, thank you. 1668 01:38:34,800 --> 01:38:37,030 - Hi, Handy. - Hi, Sophie. Hi. 1669 01:38:40,039 --> 01:38:42,735 Look, Sally... 1670 01:38:42,842 --> 01:38:44,742 How you doin'? 1671 01:38:44,844 --> 01:38:47,813 God, just... just do it. 1672 01:38:47,913 --> 01:38:49,813 - Just... - Hey, Handy! 1673 01:38:49,915 --> 01:38:52,884 I just saw what you did! I couldn't believe it! 1674 01:38:52,985 --> 01:38:54,885 Thank you, Reuben. Yeah. 1675 01:38:54,987 --> 01:38:56,887 I voted for you! Ah! 1676 01:38:56,989 --> 01:39:00,049 Oh... Oh, well... You don't even like me. Sorry. 1677 01:39:00,159 --> 01:39:02,127 Oh, God. 1678 01:39:04,964 --> 01:39:07,262 Huh? What? 1679 01:39:08,734 --> 01:39:11,100 Oh... no. 1680 01:39:11,203 --> 01:39:13,330 No. No. Please, please, please. 1681 01:39:13,439 --> 01:39:15,600 No! 1682 01:39:16,942 --> 01:39:18,910 Oh, nice! 1683 01:39:28,020 --> 01:39:29,920 Ladies and gentlemen... 1684 01:39:30,022 --> 01:39:34,118 Trans Capital Flight 27 to Dulles has been delayed. 1685 01:39:34,226 --> 01:39:35,853 - Please bear with us. 1686 01:39:35,961 --> 01:39:37,826 We'll let you know as soon as we know. 1687 01:39:37,930 --> 01:39:39,795 Grace? 1688 01:39:41,367 --> 01:39:43,494 - Grace. - Here, Mr. President. 1689 01:39:44,570 --> 01:39:46,629 Is that him? 1690 01:39:46,739 --> 01:39:48,866 What are you doing here? 1691 01:39:48,974 --> 01:39:50,805 I gave my notice. Remember? 1692 01:39:50,910 --> 01:39:52,673 Oh, Grace. Come back. 1693 01:39:52,778 --> 01:39:54,439 No. 1694 01:39:56,615 --> 01:39:58,981 No. 1695 01:39:59,084 --> 01:40:02,542 Grace, look at me. 1696 01:40:02,655 --> 01:40:07,524 I'll never have more than one sugar in my coffee the rest of my life if you'll have me. 1697 01:40:08,994 --> 01:40:10,621 And no salt. 1698 01:40:12,564 --> 01:40:14,964 The former president of the United States... 1699 01:40:15,067 --> 01:40:17,035 is down on his knees. 1700 01:40:21,774 --> 01:40:23,366 - Yeah.! - All right.! 1701 01:40:27,813 --> 01:40:29,906 That's no handshake either. 1702 01:40:31,183 --> 01:40:33,651 - I'll go down on my knees again... - No. No, no. 1703 01:40:35,988 --> 01:40:38,513 You certainly took your time. 1704 01:40:38,624 --> 01:40:40,524 What if my plane had left? 1705 01:40:40,626 --> 01:40:42,526 Oh, you haven't heard. 1706 01:40:42,628 --> 01:40:44,596 I'm the mayor now. 1707 01:40:45,631 --> 01:40:48,122 This is Cloud. Clear the flight. 1708 01:40:48,233 --> 01:40:51,168 Turns out that I have a little bit of pull here at this airport now. 1709 01:40:51,270 --> 01:40:54,000 Flight 27 passengers... 1710 01:40:54,106 --> 01:40:57,007 we've now been cleared for takeoff. 1711 01:40:57,109 --> 01:41:00,010 - Congratulations, Mr. President. 1712 01:41:00,112 --> 01:41:03,513 That would be congratulations, Mr. Mayor. 1713 01:41:06,018 --> 01:41:09,010 - Congratulations, Mr. Mayor! - Great. 1714 01:41:09,121 --> 01:41:11,248 Thanks, Mr. Mayor.! 1715 01:41:12,658 --> 01:41:14,558 Congratulations, Mr. Mayor. 1716 01:41:14,727 --> 01:41:17,287 Come on! 1717 01:41:17,396 --> 01:41:20,160 - Oh! 1718 01:41:20,265 --> 01:41:22,631 You doing the plumbing for the whole town now? 1719 01:41:22,735 --> 01:41:24,965 No, I came to see you. 1720 01:41:25,070 --> 01:41:28,528 - Through the drain? - Just one second. 1721 01:41:31,977 --> 01:41:34,275 Look, Sally... 1722 01:41:34,380 --> 01:41:36,610 I was gonna prepare this whole speech... 1723 01:41:36,715 --> 01:41:39,149 What? 1724 01:41:43,055 --> 01:41:45,455 I was gonna prepare this whole speech... 1725 01:41:45,557 --> 01:41:48,924 but I think it's better if I just say this out of the moment. 1726 01:41:49,028 --> 01:41:50,655 All right. 1727 01:41:50,763 --> 01:41:52,754 The truth is, you're beautiful. 1728 01:41:52,865 --> 01:41:55,925 And you're smart and wonderful. 1729 01:41:56,035 --> 01:41:58,196 And... 1730 01:41:58,303 --> 01:42:01,238 And I'm not... I'm not. 1731 01:42:01,340 --> 01:42:05,276 - Handy... - Hang on, 'cause I'm... I'm in the moment now. 1732 01:42:05,377 --> 01:42:09,438 This whole thing, it's made me take a pretty hard look at myself. 1733 01:42:09,548 --> 01:42:13,780 And I'm not smart, a-and I'm not beautiful, but... 1734 01:42:13,886 --> 01:42:18,550 but, hell, I just beat the most popular president in history. 1735 01:42:18,657 --> 01:42:21,785 So... Maybe I'm okay. 1736 01:42:21,894 --> 01:42:24,021 Almost. 1737 01:42:24,129 --> 01:42:26,029 You almost beat him. 1738 01:42:26,131 --> 01:42:30,363 Sally, between me and you... just our little secret... I beat him. 1739 01:42:30,469 --> 01:42:34,428 Do you think I would've voted for myself after I told the whole town I wouldn't? 1740 01:42:35,541 --> 01:42:37,338 You gave it away? 1741 01:42:38,410 --> 01:42:39,877 Why? 1742 01:42:39,978 --> 01:42:42,310 Because he needs it. I don't. 1743 01:42:42,414 --> 01:42:44,382 L... 1744 01:42:45,584 --> 01:42:47,552 I only need you. 1745 01:42:49,288 --> 01:42:51,188 That's... 1746 01:42:51,290 --> 01:42:52,882 That's my speech. 1747 01:42:53,926 --> 01:42:55,894 Oh, Handy. 1748 01:42:57,296 --> 01:42:59,526 Hold on. I got... 1749 01:42:59,631 --> 01:43:01,656 I got you something. 1750 01:43:01,767 --> 01:43:03,291 - Dirt? - No, it's... 1751 01:43:04,570 --> 01:43:06,731 - It's... It's dirty, but... - Oh. 1752 01:43:07,773 --> 01:43:09,900 Look, I don't know how you feel... 1753 01:43:18,851 --> 01:43:21,319 - Is that a "yes" kiss? - Yes. 1754 01:43:23,422 --> 01:43:26,323 It's dirty, but it's... it's really... it's beautiful. 1755 01:43:26,425 --> 01:43:28,825 - It's beautiful. - It's, uh, big and... 1756 01:43:28,927 --> 01:43:32,590 That's not just one diamond. There's diamonds on the side. There's diamonds and mud. 1757 01:43:32,698 --> 01:43:38,034 Oh, did I say in the speech... I forgot the whole part about how much I love you. 1758 01:43:38,137 --> 01:43:41,038 I didn't say it, but yes... I didn't... You know, there's no... 1759 01:43:41,140 --> 01:43:44,576 I didn't make a word thing out of it, but you can't even measure it. 1760 01:43:44,676 --> 01:43:47,577 It's like... Like, if you take the sun... 1761 01:43:47,679 --> 01:43:50,580 You could take the heat from that sun, and you... 1762 01:43:50,682 --> 01:43:55,619 If you put all of that in a love container, you'd... 1763 01:43:55,721 --> 01:43:57,245 Got it. 1764 01:43:57,356 --> 01:43:58,914 - Did you get it? - Yes. 1765 01:43:59,024 --> 01:44:03,017 But you said yes anyway, so this is all extra, like a bonus. 1766 01:44:03,128 --> 01:44:05,528 - Let's go. - My heart's beating fast. 1767 01:44:05,631 --> 01:44:07,360 - Plunger, come on! 1768 01:44:07,466 --> 01:44:09,730 - Come on.! - How'd it get in the sewer? 1769 01:44:09,835 --> 01:44:13,202 - Oh, that's... You know. Things just happen to me. 1770 01:44:13,305 --> 01:44:16,206 Did I happen to notice you're wearing a thong? 1771 01:44:16,308 --> 01:44:17,866 - Oh.! Oh.! 1772 01:44:17,976 --> 01:44:20,774 Oh, my God.! Are you okay? 1773 01:44:20,879 --> 01:44:22,744 You did it again. 1774 01:44:22,848 --> 01:44:24,440 I barely touched you. 1775 01:44:24,550 --> 01:44:27,451 Okay, look, if this marriage is gonna work... 1776 01:44:27,553 --> 01:44:30,113 you're gonna have to realize how strong you are. 1777 01:44:30,222 --> 01:44:32,122 You're stronger than me. Just accept it. 1778 01:44:32,224 --> 01:44:34,124 - I'm not stronger than you. - Yes, you are. 1779 01:44:34,226 --> 01:44:36,126 - I'm a girl. - That's right. 1780 01:44:36,228 --> 01:44:38,662 So it hurts physically and emotionally. Come on, boys. 1781 01:44:38,764 --> 01:44:40,664 Oh. What about this? 1782 01:44:40,766 --> 01:44:44,167 - Bow on my head. - A bow on your... In white, I would buy it. 1783 01:44:44,269 --> 01:44:46,897 - No, I'm serious. - Excuse me, ladies. 1784 01:44:48,040 --> 01:44:50,907 - Is Handy around? - Handy. 1785 01:44:51,009 --> 01:44:52,977 You got company. 1786 01:44:55,280 --> 01:44:57,976 Hey. How you doin'? 1787 01:44:58,083 --> 01:44:59,983 Congratulations, Handy. 1788 01:45:00,085 --> 01:45:03,350 You almost beat the most popular president in history. 1789 01:45:03,455 --> 01:45:07,289 - Oh, well, thank you. No hard feelings, right? - Are you kidding? 1790 01:45:07,392 --> 01:45:09,292 Let me cut to the chase. 1791 01:45:09,394 --> 01:45:12,124 - What are you doing in about two years? - What do you mean? 1792 01:45:12,231 --> 01:45:15,098 How does Governor Harrison sound to you? 1793 01:45:15,200 --> 01:45:17,634 Governor? 1794 01:45:18,870 --> 01:45:20,861 No. Thank you. 1795 01:45:20,973 --> 01:45:22,998 We've got a real possibility here. 1796 01:45:23,108 --> 01:45:26,908 Listen, thank you very much. I appreciate that you're thinking about me. 1797 01:45:27,012 --> 01:45:31,472 But, um, I'm kinda happy right where I am. 1798 01:45:31,583 --> 01:45:33,517 Well, I'll respect that. 1799 01:45:33,619 --> 01:45:35,280 Okay. 1800 01:45:35,387 --> 01:45:37,378 Have a good day. 1801 01:45:39,891 --> 01:45:41,950 Hey, uh, hold on one second. 1802 01:45:42,060 --> 01:45:44,028 Let me just ask you. 1803 01:45:44,129 --> 01:45:46,529 - Can a governor... 1804 01:45:46,632 --> 01:45:48,862 Kinda tell a mayor what to do? 1805 01:45:48,967 --> 01:45:51,595 Oh, yeah. 1806 01:45:52,638 --> 01:45:56,039 - Oww! 1807 01:45:56,039 --> 01:46:06,039 Text Fix O Ripp Bj�rn