1 00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:04,603 [Man On P.A.] This is... This is something, man. 2 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:07,606 This is our generation, man. We're all together, man, and it's groovy. 3 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,165 Dig yourselves, 'cause it's really groovy. 4 00:02:39,525 --> 00:02:41,891 Hello? 5 00:03:31,343 --> 00:03:34,335 ****[Rock, Faint] 6 00:03:38,017 --> 00:03:41,043 ****[Continues] 7 00:03:44,824 --> 00:03:49,420 ** [Continues] 8 00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:53,328 [Hockey Player Grunts] 9 00:03:56,168 --> 00:03:59,103 Oh, yeah! Whoa! 10 00:03:59,171 --> 00:04:01,298 ****[Continues] 11 00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:08,613 - ** [Stops] - Aww! 12 00:04:08,681 --> 00:04:12,811 - Shit. Fuse box again. I got it last time. - I know. 13 00:04:12,885 --> 00:04:15,615 - [All Chattering] - Um... 14 00:04:15,688 --> 00:04:18,156 - [Boys Grunting] - Excuse me. 15 00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:21,387 Excuse me. Is, uh, James Andrews around? 16 00:04:21,460 --> 00:04:23,553 What are you, a narc? 17 00:04:23,629 --> 00:04:27,258 No, no, I-I'm a pre-frosh. I'm just looking for, uh, James Andrews. 18 00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:31,496 Heads up! 19 00:04:31,570 --> 00:04:35,768 James Andrews... Oh, Droz. He's in the hall, room two. 20 00:04:35,841 --> 00:04:37,672 Yeah, um... D... Wh... 21 00:04:37,743 --> 00:04:39,643 The basement. 22 00:04:39,712 --> 00:04:43,011 - Face-off! - Come on. Follow me. 23 00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:45,812 - [Puck Slapping] - [Boys Grunting] 24 00:04:46,986 --> 00:04:50,012 [Grunting, Groaning] 25 00:04:52,224 --> 00:04:54,215 End of the hall. 26 00:04:59,598 --> 00:05:01,498 [Clears Throat] 27 00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:06,132 Go ahead. Last door on the left. 28 00:05:30,863 --> 00:05:32,854 Hello? 29 00:05:38,237 --> 00:05:40,171 - Uh... - [Snoring] 30 00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:42,173 James? 31 00:05:42,241 --> 00:05:44,300 [Snoring Continues] 32 00:05:44,376 --> 00:05:46,344 Uh, excuse me. 33 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,814 Ooh. 34 00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:51,816 - Uh... - [Snoring Continues] 35 00:05:51,884 --> 00:05:53,852 Uh... 36 00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:04,686 - [Gasps] - Coffee. 37 00:06:04,763 --> 00:06:06,663 Coffee now! 38 00:06:06,732 --> 00:06:09,496 Uh... Aah! 39 00:06:09,568 --> 00:06:11,593 There. 40 00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:20,545 All right, what do you need? Bottle rockets? Dental dams? Reddi-wips? 41 00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:22,547 Term papers. 42 00:06:22,615 --> 00:06:26,107 Uh, actually, no. No, I'm Tom Lawrence. I'm a pre-frosh. 43 00:06:27,519 --> 00:06:30,283 Uh, I'm just up here a-at Port Chester just... 44 00:06:30,356 --> 00:06:32,290 just to see if I want to go here. 45 00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:34,223 What am I, a stop on the tour? 46 00:06:34,293 --> 00:06:37,490 Actually, a-a-admissions arranged for me to, uh... 47 00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:40,031 t-to spend the night at y-your frat. 48 00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:42,533 Gee, Scooter, frats were banned in the '60s. 49 00:06:42,601 --> 00:06:44,569 They were? 50 00:06:44,637 --> 00:06:46,571 Let me see that. 51 00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:50,166 I don't believe this. I've been pimped by admissions. 52 00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:53,700 - Okay. Want some advice? - Well, yeah... 53 00:06:53,779 --> 00:06:56,247 Here's all you need to know. Classes: Nothing before 11:00. 54 00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:58,749 Beer: It's your best friend, you drink a lot of it. 55 00:06:58,817 --> 00:07:01,377 - Women? You're a freshman, so it's out of the question. We have a car? - No. 56 00:07:01,453 --> 00:07:04,786 Someone on your hall will. Make friends with them on the first day. Anything else? 57 00:07:06,525 --> 00:07:08,789 Yeah, um... 58 00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:12,957 Look, uh, can anyone just, um... 59 00:07:13,032 --> 00:07:16,126 live in these big houses with... with girls? 60 00:07:18,170 --> 00:07:21,298 Times have changed in the past 30 years, Tom�s. 61 00:07:21,373 --> 00:07:24,831 We no longer swill sherry and screw goats for fun anymore. 62 00:07:24,910 --> 00:07:26,912 I'd love to tell you all about it, but... 63 00:07:26,912 --> 00:07:27,810 I'd love to tell you all about it, but... 64 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,815 - Should I just leave my stuff in your room? - Uh, no. 65 00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:33,818 Look, I'd like to help you, but we're cutting in on my nap time as it is. 66 00:07:33,886 --> 00:07:36,821 But the good news is, I got just the guy for the job. 67 00:07:36,889 --> 00:07:40,256 - ** [Heavy Metal] - Yo, Gut, what's up, baby? 68 00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:42,294 - What's up, Droz? - Aaaaah! 69 00:07:42,361 --> 00:07:44,295 - Got any smokes, baby? - No, man. Last one. 70 00:07:44,363 --> 00:07:46,297 Listen, Tom-man... 71 00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:48,629 - ****[Volume Down] - Tom-man here's a pre-frosh. 72 00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:50,464 - I told him you'd show him around. - Hi. 73 00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,504 - No can do. - Whoa, Gut. Can't or won't? 74 00:07:52,571 --> 00:07:55,039 Can't, man. It's grunge night at Vienna House. 75 00:07:55,107 --> 00:07:58,838 The Merkins are opening for Frog And Toad Are Friends. I gotta psych up for the show. 76 00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:01,778 Frog And Toad Are Friends. That's with the guy from the Clash, right? 77 00:08:01,847 --> 00:08:04,315 - The... - The Clash. 78 00:08:04,383 --> 00:08:09,013 I don't know if you're aware, but there actually was music recorded before 1989. 79 00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:11,818 What is this? You're gonna wear this to the show? 80 00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:14,825 You're gonna wear the shirt of the band you're gonna go see? 81 00:08:14,893 --> 00:08:16,884 Don't be that guy. 82 00:08:22,901 --> 00:08:25,836 Hey! Hey, hey. What's up, my brothers? Here we go. 83 00:08:25,904 --> 00:08:28,702 - [Both Chattering] - Just a quick moment... That's all right. 84 00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:30,366 - Mullaney. - Yeah, what's up? 85 00:08:30,442 --> 00:08:32,034 - Is this a pre-frosh? - Yes. 86 00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:35,046 And you're showing him around the campus? That's really swell. 87 00:08:35,114 --> 00:08:39,050 Make sure he gives you the special bicentennial tour... 200 years of bullshit. 88 00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:42,053 - You little bitch. - Yeah? Now we're even for the Milk-Bones. 89 00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:44,555 You signed me up as a weekend host. 90 00:08:44,623 --> 00:08:46,557 - You swing bag. - Sucker! 91 00:08:46,625 --> 00:08:48,559 - Milk-Bones? - Spring break. 92 00:08:48,627 --> 00:08:51,562 I filled his suitcase with dog biscuits coming back from Jamaica. 93 00:08:51,630 --> 00:08:54,155 - Hmm? - Drug-sniffing dogs went ape-shit. 94 00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:57,200 I got one more idea. 95 00:08:57,269 --> 00:08:59,237 - [Tires Screeching] - Pigman. 96 00:08:59,304 --> 00:09:02,102 - Pigman! - What's he doing? 97 00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:04,608 He's finishing his senior thesis. 98 00:09:04,676 --> 00:09:07,907 Pigman is trying to prove the Caine-Hackman theory. 99 00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:12,280 No matter what time it is, you can find a Michael Caine or a Gene Hackman movie on TV. 100 00:09:12,351 --> 00:09:14,285 - Wait, that's his thesis? - Yes! 101 00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:16,787 That's the beauty of college these days, Tommy. 102 00:09:16,855 --> 00:09:19,756 You can major in Game Boy if you know how to bullshit. Have a seat. 103 00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:23,261 There's the TV. Pigman's got you covered. 104 00:09:23,328 --> 00:09:25,762 Call me for the shower scene in Dressed to Kill. 105 00:09:25,864 --> 00:09:28,128 Uh... [Sighs] 106 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,861 What? 107 00:09:29,935 --> 00:09:32,870 Did I tell you that I'm from Delaware? 108 00:09:32,938 --> 00:09:34,633 Really? 109 00:09:34,706 --> 00:09:37,732 Well, I mean, I just spent s-six hou... 110 00:09:39,044 --> 00:09:42,013 six hours on a public bus just to come to Port Chester... 111 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:44,015 to decide if I want to come here. 112 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:47,382 So maybe I should see the campus or a pep rally or a tailgate party or... 113 00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:50,081 Okay, okay, I... I've got it. 114 00:09:50,155 --> 00:09:52,123 Here's the deal. 115 00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:55,251 You gotta get all this '50s cornball shit out of your head. 116 00:09:55,327 --> 00:09:59,093 It's a whole new ball game on campus these days, and they call it P.C. 117 00:09:59,164 --> 00:10:01,257 - "P.C."? - Politically correct. 118 00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:03,767 [Droz] And it's not just politics... it's everything. 119 00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:06,771 It's what you eat, it's what you wear and it's what you say. 120 00:10:06,839 --> 00:10:08,240 If you don't watch yourself, you can get in a butt-load of trouble. For instance... 121 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,470 If you don't watch yourself, you can get in a butt-load of trouble. For instance... 122 00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:12,567 - [Droz] See these girls? - Yeah. 123 00:10:12,644 --> 00:10:15,272 No, those are women. Call 'em girls, and they'll pop your figs. 124 00:10:15,347 --> 00:10:19,181 - Save the whales! - Gays in the military now! 125 00:10:19,251 --> 00:10:22,743 - Free Nelson Mandela! - They freed him already. 126 00:10:24,356 --> 00:10:26,290 What? 127 00:10:26,358 --> 00:10:28,292 Those women? 128 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,294 Those aren't women, Tom. 129 00:10:30,362 --> 00:10:32,330 Those are "womynists." 130 00:10:32,397 --> 00:10:35,798 You know, I saw the new Madonna video last night. 131 00:10:35,867 --> 00:10:38,335 [Snickers] Un-frickin-believable. 132 00:10:38,403 --> 00:10:41,702 See the one in the middle, the one with the blonde hair? 133 00:10:41,773 --> 00:10:44,264 - [Tom] Yeah. - She's looking at me, isn't she? 134 00:10:45,443 --> 00:10:47,343 Kinda. Do you know her or something? 135 00:10:47,412 --> 00:10:51,314 Hey, Sam, isn't that the guy that you used to, uh... 136 00:10:51,383 --> 00:10:53,283 Yeah. 137 00:10:53,351 --> 00:10:56,320 - You went out with a white male? - I was a freshman! 138 00:10:56,388 --> 00:10:59,380 - Freshperson, please. - Please. 139 00:10:59,457 --> 00:11:02,949 - Go talk to her. What's the problem? - Watch this. 140 00:11:03,028 --> 00:11:05,326 He's coming over here. Sisters, form a wall! 141 00:11:05,397 --> 00:11:09,231 - [Whistle Blows] - [Sam] No, you don't have to do that. 142 00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:11,235 Wow. Hi. How you doin'? 143 00:11:11,303 --> 00:11:13,203 Uh, is Sam in there? 144 00:11:13,271 --> 00:11:15,330 "In there"? What's that supposed to mean? 145 00:11:15,407 --> 00:11:17,307 Yeah, cock man oppressor. 146 00:11:17,375 --> 00:11:19,343 Uh, thank you. 147 00:11:19,411 --> 00:11:23,370 Maybe one of you could just tell her that Mr. Pokey stopped by. 148 00:11:28,186 --> 00:11:29,915 Okay. 149 00:11:31,990 --> 00:11:34,185 What the hell was that? "Mr. Pokey"? 150 00:11:34,259 --> 00:11:37,228 I think he meant his, uh, phallus. 151 00:11:39,264 --> 00:11:41,755 You participated in a phallus naming? 152 00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:44,131 No. No. I have no idea... 153 00:11:45,303 --> 00:11:48,898 You stay away from him, Sam. He's an animal. 154 00:11:49,007 --> 00:11:51,532 You know, this place is kinda insane. 155 00:11:51,609 --> 00:11:53,543 Wait till you meet the causeheads. 156 00:11:53,611 --> 00:11:55,511 The what? 157 00:11:55,580 --> 00:11:58,048 - What don't we eat? - [Crowd] Red meat.! 158 00:11:58,116 --> 00:12:00,744 - Why don't we eat it? - It's murder! 159 00:12:00,819 --> 00:12:03,310 - What don't we eat? - Red meat! 160 00:12:03,388 --> 00:12:05,288 Why don't we eat it? 161 00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:07,621 These, Tom, are your causeheads. 162 00:12:07,692 --> 00:12:11,128 They find a world-threatening issue and stick with it... for about a week. 163 00:12:11,196 --> 00:12:14,165 What's up? What happened to the ozone layer? 164 00:12:14,232 --> 00:12:16,166 That was last week. Now it's meat. 165 00:12:16,234 --> 00:12:19,169 Grill's serving up chili burgers, but they're not letting anyone in or out. 166 00:12:19,237 --> 00:12:22,172 I love chili burgers. What about you, Daves? 167 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,174 - [Both] Yeah. - Let's do lunch. 168 00:12:24,242 --> 00:12:26,904 - [Woman] What don't we eat? - All right. 169 00:12:26,978 --> 00:12:30,573 - Red meat! - Why don't we eat it? - It's murder! 170 00:12:30,648 --> 00:12:33,242 - What don't we eat? - [Crowd] Red meat.! 171 00:12:33,318 --> 00:12:35,809 - Why don't we eat it? - It's murder.! 172 00:12:35,887 --> 00:12:37,787 - What don't we eat? - [Mooing] 173 00:12:37,856 --> 00:12:40,825 - Red meat.! - Don't eat us! 174 00:12:40,892 --> 00:12:43,861 - It's murder! - Remember, cows are our friends. 175 00:12:43,928 --> 00:12:46,590 - What don't we eat? - Red meat.! 176 00:12:46,664 --> 00:12:49,599 - Why don't we eat it? - It's murder.! 177 00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:52,101 The charred flesh served in this cafeteria... 178 00:12:52,170 --> 00:12:54,764 - Oops. Paint. - [Gasping] 179 00:12:54,839 --> 00:12:57,501 [Cheering, Laughing] 180 00:12:57,575 --> 00:12:59,805 Horse butt. 181 00:12:59,878 --> 00:13:02,779 And the nontoxic paint we've just thrown on you... 182 00:13:02,847 --> 00:13:07,181 - Moonbeam, I like your style. - Like blood from the scorched flesh of innocent creatures... 183 00:13:11,256 --> 00:13:13,156 Go. Go. In. In. 184 00:13:16,494 --> 00:13:18,428 Wha... Wha... 185 00:13:26,171 --> 00:13:28,662 [Moonbeam Continues, Faint] 186 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,305 You may be saying to yourselves... 187 00:13:37,382 --> 00:13:40,977 what of the hungry students of this university? 188 00:13:41,052 --> 00:13:43,885 And were to have penned them in a pen... 189 00:13:43,955 --> 00:13:49,222 with the use of their legs and hands completely doomed... 190 00:13:49,294 --> 00:13:52,161 then they would understand the plight of the veal calf. 191 00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:54,994 Now I say to you... 192 00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:57,762 - every student on this campus... - [Feedback] 193 00:14:01,105 --> 00:14:03,232 Were to starve... 194 00:14:03,308 --> 00:14:06,334 - it would be worth the life of a cow or a calf... - [Mooing] 195 00:14:06,411 --> 00:14:08,811 Yum. 196 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:12,338 Hopefully this will not come to pass, but if it were... 197 00:14:12,417 --> 00:14:14,681 who is to say that the life of a six- month- old... 198 00:14:14,752 --> 00:14:17,482 - [Crowd Cheering, Murmuring] - No! 199 00:14:18,556 --> 00:14:21,024 - What the hell? - Hey! 200 00:14:21,092 --> 00:14:23,720 - Ha ha! - Ow! 201 00:14:23,795 --> 00:14:26,161 Hey! 202 00:14:26,231 --> 00:14:29,894 [Moonbeam] Stand your ground.! Stand your ground.! 203 00:14:29,968 --> 00:14:32,869 - [Giggles] - [Moonbeam Continues, Indistinct] 204 00:14:32,937 --> 00:14:34,564 [Crowd Screaming] 205 00:14:34,639 --> 00:14:36,402 Now. 206 00:14:37,609 --> 00:14:39,770 [Grunting] 207 00:14:39,844 --> 00:14:41,436 Here's lunch! 208 00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:45,005 - [Moonbeam Continues, Indistinct] - [Screaming Continues] 209 00:14:51,689 --> 00:14:54,180 - [Droz] Nicely done, gentlemen. - Now what? 210 00:14:54,259 --> 00:14:56,284 Now we run. 211 00:14:57,962 --> 00:14:59,862 [Yelling, Chattering] 212 00:15:01,933 --> 00:15:04,026 [Yelling Continues] 213 00:15:07,539 --> 00:15:09,803 [Laughing] 214 00:15:09,874 --> 00:15:12,069 Dave.! Dave? 215 00:15:14,679 --> 00:15:17,113 [Man] And the walls are painted white... 216 00:15:17,181 --> 00:15:19,115 and the chalk is white... 217 00:15:19,183 --> 00:15:21,083 and even the copy machine paper is white. 218 00:15:21,152 --> 00:15:23,052 Excuse me. 219 00:15:23,121 --> 00:15:26,488 - This, my friend, is the white devil's conspiracy. - Meat-tosser! 220 00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:28,219 Stop the violator! 221 00:15:28,293 --> 00:15:30,761 Huh? 222 00:15:30,828 --> 00:15:33,228 Ohhh! 223 00:15:33,298 --> 00:15:36,267 [Yelling] 224 00:15:36,334 --> 00:15:38,825 [Shouting, Screaming] 225 00:15:41,606 --> 00:15:44,837 "Level of insensitivity." "C"...unconscionable. 226 00:15:46,511 --> 00:15:48,502 "Offended." 227 00:15:51,516 --> 00:15:53,450 Oh, thank God. President Garcia-Thompson. 228 00:15:53,518 --> 00:15:56,248 Students, fill out those forms and don't skip a line. 229 00:15:56,321 --> 00:15:59,779 - It was those persons in the Pit again. - I know, Moonbeam. 230 00:15:59,857 --> 00:16:02,189 Those Pit offenders are single-handedly destroying... 231 00:16:02,260 --> 00:16:04,490 the sensitivity levels on this campus. 232 00:16:04,562 --> 00:16:07,122 - But... - Of course I can't simply throw them out of school. 233 00:16:07,198 --> 00:16:12,033 After all, they're still 15 complaints away from expulsion. 234 00:16:12,103 --> 00:16:15,129 Don't worry. Their day will come. 235 00:16:16,374 --> 00:16:19,309 Um, Ms. President? 236 00:16:19,377 --> 00:16:22,039 There's some preppy person in your office. 237 00:16:22,113 --> 00:16:25,708 Madras ties. Sweet. 238 00:16:30,221 --> 00:16:33,156 McPherson, what the hell are you doing? 239 00:16:33,224 --> 00:16:35,158 Ooh, pretty outfit. 240 00:16:35,226 --> 00:16:37,490 Real summery. What is that, Dacron? 241 00:16:37,562 --> 00:16:40,497 How many times have I told you not to meet me here? 242 00:16:40,565 --> 00:16:43,500 - I have a reputation to uphold. - Don't run from your feelings. 243 00:16:43,568 --> 00:16:46,002 I think it's time people know the truth about us. 244 00:16:46,070 --> 00:16:49,005 The truth, McPherson, is that you disgust me. 245 00:16:49,073 --> 00:16:52,065 The only thing we'll ever have in common is a hatred of the Pit. 246 00:16:52,143 --> 00:16:54,043 Just give it time. 247 00:16:54,112 --> 00:16:56,740 The information, Republican. 248 00:16:57,949 --> 00:17:00,042 Signed, sealed and... 249 00:17:00,118 --> 00:17:02,018 snatched rudely... what a surprise. 250 00:17:05,355 --> 00:17:08,381 Perfect. I'll bring it to the Pit immediately. 251 00:17:08,458 --> 00:17:10,483 And we'll call the movers. 252 00:17:18,568 --> 00:17:20,502 - Hey, Jack! - [Gasps] 253 00:17:20,570 --> 00:17:23,539 Floor's closed unless you're working on a thesis. You working on a thesis? 254 00:17:23,606 --> 00:17:27,235 Uh, no, no, I'm lost. I'm just trying to get back to the Pit. 255 00:17:28,711 --> 00:17:30,645 Well... [Coughs] 256 00:17:30,713 --> 00:17:32,613 Don't get your balls in an uproar. 257 00:17:32,682 --> 00:17:34,775 Just follow me. 258 00:17:34,851 --> 00:17:37,319 [Typing On Keyboards, Beeping] 259 00:17:37,387 --> 00:17:39,651 Get your feet off the desk! 260 00:17:39,722 --> 00:17:41,656 Uh, what's everybody doing? 261 00:17:41,724 --> 00:17:44,420 Finishing their theses, fuzzhead. They're due Monday morning. 262 00:17:44,494 --> 00:17:46,428 - Now, there's the door. - Oh, thanks. 263 00:17:46,496 --> 00:17:49,363 Whoa! [Groans] 264 00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:55,261 [Grunts] Damn it. 265 00:17:57,473 --> 00:17:59,373 What? 266 00:17:59,442 --> 00:18:01,910 [Shouting, Yelling] 267 00:18:12,555 --> 00:18:14,921 Hey, Cecilia, you gonna be free tonight? 268 00:18:14,991 --> 00:18:16,925 - Why? - You wanna have dinner? 269 00:18:16,993 --> 00:18:18,927 - With us? - What, like a date? 270 00:18:18,995 --> 00:18:20,929 Yeah. 271 00:18:20,997 --> 00:18:22,931 - Oh, God. - Whoa! 272 00:18:22,999 --> 00:18:25,934 Katy, I was thinking, when we start that song it's gotta be a lot faster. 273 00:18:26,002 --> 00:18:27,936 - You mean like this? - ** [Riff] 274 00:18:28,004 --> 00:18:30,939 - Man, you're in my chair. Get out. - Ow. Ow. Oww! 275 00:18:31,007 --> 00:18:33,441 Remember to make mine extra crispy, Gut. 276 00:18:33,509 --> 00:18:36,307 Yeah, be careful, man. I like it rare, not cold. 277 00:18:36,379 --> 00:18:38,370 I got ya. 278 00:18:46,489 --> 00:18:51,449 So this is the sewer where you persons breed your anti-community crimes. 279 00:18:51,527 --> 00:18:53,495 Hello, Mrs. Garc... 280 00:18:53,563 --> 00:18:56,088 President Garcia-Thompson. 281 00:18:56,165 --> 00:18:57,962 Hey, monkeys, how about a little respect? 282 00:18:58,034 --> 00:19:01,492 The presiding person of the university just walked in. 283 00:19:01,571 --> 00:19:04,699 ** ["Hail To The Chief"] 284 00:19:11,414 --> 00:19:14,349 Stop that. Turn that noise pollution down. 285 00:19:14,417 --> 00:19:16,942 - ** [Stops] - [Laughing, Chattering] 286 00:19:17,019 --> 00:19:19,214 Please put out that cigarette right now. 287 00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:21,051 Oh. All right. 288 00:19:21,123 --> 00:19:24,058 Do I need to remind you that this house already has enough complaints... 289 00:19:24,126 --> 00:19:26,492 to qualify for a sensitivity awareness weekend? 290 00:19:26,562 --> 00:19:30,555 You passed out cigarettes for a smoke-a-thon on Earth Day... 291 00:19:30,633 --> 00:19:34,501 you installed speed bumps on the handicapped ramps... 292 00:19:34,570 --> 00:19:37,130 and most recently you dumped a hundred pounds of... 293 00:19:37,206 --> 00:19:40,004 meat on a peaceful vegan protest. 294 00:19:40,076 --> 00:19:42,135 That was way more than a hundred pounds. 295 00:19:42,211 --> 00:19:46,511 - Very amusing, Mr. Andrews. - Thanks. 296 00:19:46,582 --> 00:19:48,846 - [Laughing] - Here's something you won't find quite so funny. 297 00:19:51,354 --> 00:19:54,551 This, offenders, is your damage bill for the semester. 298 00:19:54,624 --> 00:19:59,152 The total comes to $7,568. 299 00:19:59,228 --> 00:20:01,162 Housing forms for next year are due Monday... 300 00:20:01,230 --> 00:20:04,688 and if that bill isn't paid, this house will be repossessed. 301 00:20:04,767 --> 00:20:08,225 - What? - You can't be serious, right? 302 00:20:08,304 --> 00:20:13,241 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a bicentennial to plan. 303 00:20:13,309 --> 00:20:15,937 - [Mullaney] She's serious? - [Cecilia] This sucks. 304 00:20:16,012 --> 00:20:19,038 - [Gut] Ma'am, can... Ma'am, hello? - [Kissing Sounds] 305 00:20:19,115 --> 00:20:22,710 - Seven thou? - We're in deep shit, huh? 306 00:20:22,785 --> 00:20:26,243 - Where are we gonna live? - It's, like, three weeks before school ends. 307 00:20:26,322 --> 00:20:29,621 Ladies and gentlemen, I think it's time to revive an ancient tradition... 308 00:20:29,692 --> 00:20:31,717 we seem to have long forgotten. 309 00:20:31,794 --> 00:20:34,024 They confiscated the altar, Droz. 310 00:20:34,096 --> 00:20:36,564 No, I'm not talking about human sacrifice, Ceel. 311 00:20:36,632 --> 00:20:41,569 I'm talking about something we used to do every Saturday night as a matter of principle. 312 00:20:45,808 --> 00:20:47,742 Here's a hint. 313 00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:49,744 Legions of hand-stamped meatheads... 314 00:20:49,812 --> 00:20:51,746 and coed naked lacrosse T-shirts... 315 00:20:51,814 --> 00:20:53,975 power-chugging watered-down Meisterchau... 316 00:20:54,050 --> 00:20:55,711 regurgitating on the glue- matted floors. 317 00:20:55,785 --> 00:20:58,447 Kiln-like temperatures, fights with townies... 318 00:20:58,521 --> 00:21:00,989 lines of drunken people waiting for the bathroom. 319 00:21:01,057 --> 00:21:04,891 Wait a second. You guys are talking about a party. 320 00:21:04,961 --> 00:21:08,453 Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding. Gutter, tell her what's she's won. 321 00:21:08,531 --> 00:21:10,624 We get some beer, we have a band... 322 00:21:10,700 --> 00:21:12,725 and we overcharge at the door. 323 00:21:12,802 --> 00:21:15,771 Droz, there's no way. We'd need an all-campus party to raise enough money. 324 00:21:15,838 --> 00:21:18,306 No one's been able to pull that off in years. 325 00:21:18,374 --> 00:21:21,571 - You know what happens. Half the school protests. - The other half boycotts. 326 00:21:21,644 --> 00:21:25,774 Yeah, and even if we could get them all here, it'd be a total P.C. war zone. 327 00:21:25,848 --> 00:21:29,113 Well, there is one other option. We get jobs. 328 00:21:30,519 --> 00:21:33,647 - I vote party. - I can't handle a job, man. 329 00:21:33,723 --> 00:21:36,021 Sounds good. What do you want us to do? 330 00:21:36,092 --> 00:21:38,026 So, uh, who's on beer? 331 00:21:38,094 --> 00:21:40,028 Uh, well, that would roughly be you, Gut. 332 00:21:40,096 --> 00:21:42,530 I suggest kegs... multiple, cold and domestic. 333 00:21:42,598 --> 00:21:45,533 I have to meet Mersh in Jerrytown for my ride to the show. 334 00:21:45,601 --> 00:21:49,037 Okay, well, you call those useless Frisbee-chucking cheeba-monkeys... 335 00:21:49,105 --> 00:21:51,369 and tell 'em you're gonna be an hour late. 336 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:54,102 Ceel, Katy, Raj and Deege, your band will play. 337 00:21:54,176 --> 00:21:57,202 - Oh, sweetJesus! - Droz, we don't even have a name. 338 00:21:57,279 --> 00:21:59,679 Get a name, give it to the Daves, they'll put up the flyers. 339 00:21:59,749 --> 00:22:01,478 - On it. - Pigman. 340 00:22:01,550 --> 00:22:03,950 - Huh? - Stay put. 341 00:22:04,020 --> 00:22:07,581 We charge five bucks a head. MasterCard and Visa accepted. 342 00:22:07,657 --> 00:22:11,593 Droz, what happened to that cute preppy kid? 343 00:22:11,661 --> 00:22:13,595 Who? 344 00:22:13,663 --> 00:22:15,392 The pre-frosh. 345 00:22:15,464 --> 00:22:17,159 That's a good question. 346 00:22:17,233 --> 00:22:20,134 [Shouting, Yelling Continue] 347 00:22:21,103 --> 00:22:23,196 [Panting] 348 00:22:34,150 --> 00:22:37,813 [Shouting, Yelling Continue, Becoming Louder] 349 00:22:37,887 --> 00:22:40,321 [Girl] Over here.! 350 00:22:40,389 --> 00:22:42,550 Hey! Get him! 351 00:22:51,267 --> 00:22:53,292 What's up, Mersh? 352 00:22:57,039 --> 00:23:00,065 Gutter. [Sniffs] What's up, bud? 353 00:23:00,142 --> 00:23:03,043 Tried to call you guys, like, six times, man. What's the deal? 354 00:23:03,112 --> 00:23:05,239 - [Chuckles] - [Laughing] 355 00:23:05,314 --> 00:23:09,478 Listen, Mersh, uh, I gotta get beer for this party tonight... 356 00:23:09,552 --> 00:23:12,487 so I'm gonna be a little late for my ride to Hartford. 357 00:23:12,555 --> 00:23:15,490 Oh, sorry, Gut man. No can do. 358 00:23:15,558 --> 00:23:18,254 [Chuckles] The grand master of funk... 359 00:23:18,327 --> 00:23:23,128 descends on the civvy at 8:00, man, and we will be there. 360 00:23:23,199 --> 00:23:26,134 Mersh, you hate punk. 361 00:23:26,202 --> 00:23:28,102 Funk, Gutter. 362 00:23:28,170 --> 00:23:30,138 Funk. George Clinton. 363 00:23:30,206 --> 00:23:32,640 [Laughing] Parliament Funkadelic. 364 00:23:32,708 --> 00:23:34,437 Dude! 365 00:23:34,510 --> 00:23:36,410 Aren't you a music major? 366 00:23:36,479 --> 00:23:38,379 Yeah. 367 00:23:42,785 --> 00:23:45,276 [All Laughing] 368 00:23:49,024 --> 00:23:53,586 Maybe you guys could just give me a lift to the liquor store then. 369 00:23:53,662 --> 00:23:56,062 We got intramural finals this afternoon, man. Sorry. 370 00:23:56,132 --> 00:23:58,464 Well, what am I supposed to do? 371 00:23:58,534 --> 00:24:00,502 Have a bong hit. 372 00:24:03,806 --> 00:24:06,434 [Gut] What good is that gonna do me? 373 00:24:06,509 --> 00:24:08,110 Just one little binger to brighten up your day. 374 00:24:08,110 --> 00:24:09,702 Just one little binger to brighten up your day. 375 00:24:09,778 --> 00:24:12,440 Come on, man. [Laughs] 376 00:24:13,982 --> 00:24:15,916 Just one hit. 377 00:24:15,984 --> 00:24:17,975 Then I gotta go. 378 00:24:21,156 --> 00:24:23,090 [Man #1] Look at the stitching. 379 00:24:23,158 --> 00:24:26,355 - It's gotta be L.L. Bean. - [Man #2] Yes. 380 00:24:26,428 --> 00:24:28,362 [Man #1] But can he be trusted? 381 00:24:28,430 --> 00:24:30,421 [Man #2] Look at his tie. 382 00:24:31,633 --> 00:24:33,567 His complexion. 383 00:24:33,635 --> 00:24:35,535 He's definitely one of us. 384 00:24:35,604 --> 00:24:38,903 [Exhales] W-W... Where am I? 385 00:24:38,974 --> 00:24:41,374 You're safe now. Allow me. 386 00:24:41,443 --> 00:24:45,607 Carter Prescott, pledge master of the secret fraternity of Balls and Shaft. 387 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:47,875 Tom Lawrence, pre-frosh. 388 00:24:47,949 --> 00:24:49,849 Bantam Draper. 389 00:24:49,918 --> 00:24:53,285 Um, so this is a frat? 390 00:24:55,023 --> 00:24:59,119 The school outlawed fraternities in 1967, Tom... 391 00:24:59,194 --> 00:25:01,424 and Balls and Shaft was forced to go underground. 392 00:25:01,496 --> 00:25:04,795 We lost our house, now the detestable sore known as the Pit. 393 00:25:06,034 --> 00:25:07,968 Since then, our numbers have dwindled... 394 00:25:08,036 --> 00:25:10,971 but we're always on the lookout for new members. 395 00:25:11,039 --> 00:25:13,564 - You guys used to be in the Pit? - I know. It's sad. 396 00:25:13,642 --> 00:25:16,611 The swine in there, they're dirty, stupid. 397 00:25:16,678 --> 00:25:19,146 Worst of all? Poor. 398 00:25:20,649 --> 00:25:23,140 - [Knocking On Door] - I'll get it. 399 00:25:24,286 --> 00:25:25,878 America's greatest president? 400 00:25:25,954 --> 00:25:28,923 - It's me, Rand. Open up. - America's greatest president? 401 00:25:28,990 --> 00:25:31,959 Damn it! Who is Ronald Reagan? 402 00:25:32,027 --> 00:25:35,554 - A casual shoe for yachting. - What are you trying to figure out, B.D.? 403 00:25:35,630 --> 00:25:37,564 Who could I be? [Sighs] 404 00:25:37,632 --> 00:25:39,862 - What is a blucher? - They killed Jesus Christ. 405 00:25:39,935 --> 00:25:42,495 Who are theJews? Open up, sucko! 406 00:25:47,909 --> 00:25:51,504 Gentlemen! I got some good news, and I got some bad news. 407 00:25:51,580 --> 00:25:53,844 The bad news is... 408 00:25:53,915 --> 00:25:55,849 you're an idiot. 409 00:25:55,917 --> 00:25:58,283 Don't ever make me wait outside that door. 410 00:25:58,353 --> 00:26:01,220 The good news is, Thompson just delivered the information. 411 00:26:01,289 --> 00:26:04,224 By now the Pit will have started planning their little soiree. 412 00:26:04,292 --> 00:26:07,352 About that, Rand... What if their party does come off? 413 00:26:08,530 --> 00:26:10,464 Does anyone get what I'm doing here? 414 00:26:10,532 --> 00:26:12,466 Does anyone follow me? 415 00:26:12,534 --> 00:26:14,866 We want them to have a party, steak head. 416 00:26:14,936 --> 00:26:18,235 We want them to have the loudest, most offensive party in school history. Capisce? 417 00:26:20,008 --> 00:26:21,976 [Sighs] Hi! 418 00:26:22,043 --> 00:26:26,412 Well, well, I see we have a new pledge. Mayflower material, I presume? 419 00:26:26,481 --> 00:26:28,949 - Huh? - It's a boat. 420 00:26:29,017 --> 00:26:31,952 Your ancestors obviously didn't come over on it. 421 00:26:32,020 --> 00:26:34,488 But, hey, it's the '90s. We'll take what we can get. 422 00:26:34,556 --> 00:26:36,456 Gentlemen, we got a job to do. 423 00:26:36,524 --> 00:26:39,186 [Crash] 424 00:26:39,261 --> 00:26:41,195 Naugahyde Windpipe. 425 00:26:41,263 --> 00:26:42,890 Too metal. 426 00:26:42,964 --> 00:26:45,330 Oedipus and the Mama's Boys. 427 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,129 Too college radio. 428 00:26:47,202 --> 00:26:50,763 MyJohnson Is 12 Inches Long. 429 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:56,171 Interesting, but it doesn't sound like a band name. 430 00:26:57,212 --> 00:26:59,112 I've got it... 431 00:26:59,180 --> 00:27:00,977 Everyone Gets Laid. 432 00:27:01,049 --> 00:27:03,984 Katy, the womynists will be all over us for that one. 433 00:27:04,052 --> 00:27:05,952 Ow. 434 00:27:06,021 --> 00:27:09,354 What do you think about this? Tonight at the Pit, Everyone Gets Laid. 435 00:27:09,424 --> 00:27:11,892 Mmm, that's tasteless, disgusting and offensive. 436 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,860 I like it. 437 00:27:13,928 --> 00:27:15,725 [Cecilia] Cool. 438 00:27:15,797 --> 00:27:17,822 - [Droz] Daves, go make those flyers. - Hey! 439 00:27:17,899 --> 00:27:20,367 - What are you guys doing? - Us? 440 00:27:20,435 --> 00:27:23,598 Oh, we're seniors. We're going to the game. 441 00:27:23,672 --> 00:27:25,640 - Outside! - Whoo! 442 00:27:25,707 --> 00:27:28,574 [Both Groaning] 443 00:27:33,481 --> 00:27:35,415 - Hey! - Remove that nail, butcher. 444 00:27:35,483 --> 00:27:38,418 - What's your deal? - I just heard that tree shriek. 445 00:27:38,486 --> 00:27:41,421 How would you like it if I nailed a sign into a layer of your fat? 446 00:27:41,489 --> 00:27:43,389 Try it again, and you're toast. 447 00:27:43,458 --> 00:27:45,392 Save the planet. Peace. 448 00:27:48,063 --> 00:27:50,588 This is a total drag. 449 00:27:50,665 --> 00:27:52,656 Just give up, man. 450 00:28:02,610 --> 00:28:05,875 Well, what do we have here? 451 00:28:05,947 --> 00:28:09,041 ****[Up- tempo Rock] 452 00:28:09,150 --> 00:28:11,880 - ****[Continues] - Let's go! Whoo! 453 00:28:11,953 --> 00:28:16,151 - [Crowd Chattering, Shouting] - Yeah! Look at him go! 454 00:28:20,829 --> 00:28:22,694 - Ooh! - Whoa- ho.! 455 00:28:22,764 --> 00:28:26,029 - Oh, my good, good God. - Murder! 456 00:28:26,101 --> 00:28:28,069 - [Droz] She's got a little stiff arm. 457 00:28:32,907 --> 00:28:35,705 [Yelling] 458 00:28:43,151 --> 00:28:46,678 - Oh, wow, man! - Punk. 459 00:28:46,755 --> 00:28:49,315 - Hot shit! - ****[Continues] 460 00:28:53,194 --> 00:28:56,163 Yo, isn't that your old freshman roommate? 461 00:28:56,231 --> 00:28:58,131 Oh. Yeah. 462 00:28:58,199 --> 00:29:01,259 Randall "Pee- burn"McPherson. I wonder what brought him out ofhiding. 463 00:29:01,336 --> 00:29:03,133 Must be a Klan meeting. 464 00:29:03,204 --> 00:29:04,899 - Yeah. - Damn, look at 'em. 465 00:29:04,973 --> 00:29:08,340 Must have been hellish living with that guy for a year. 466 00:29:11,846 --> 00:29:14,337 [Girl Giggling] 467 00:29:15,517 --> 00:29:17,644 [Girl Moaning] 468 00:29:17,719 --> 00:29:19,619 - [McPherson Clearing Throat] - [Droz Laughing] 469 00:29:19,687 --> 00:29:21,587 [Continues Clearing Throat] 470 00:29:21,656 --> 00:29:23,590 [Girl] Hey, wait, come back! 471 00:29:23,658 --> 00:29:26,786 Oh, come on! Go to sleep! Go to sleep! 472 00:29:26,861 --> 00:29:29,830 It's time to go to sleep! Oh, my God! 473 00:29:29,898 --> 00:29:32,992 - [Shrieking] - [Shrieking] 474 00:29:34,369 --> 00:29:36,462 Get away from me, you freak! 475 00:29:36,538 --> 00:29:38,904 - You freak! [Wailing] - [Shrieking Continues] 476 00:29:39,808 --> 00:29:41,833 Stay on your side! 477 00:29:44,446 --> 00:29:46,414 A total nightmare, man. 478 00:29:47,816 --> 00:29:50,614 What the hell is takin' so long? 479 00:29:50,685 --> 00:29:52,482 [Whispering] 480 00:29:54,122 --> 00:29:56,556 [All] Swirly! 481 00:29:56,624 --> 00:29:59,149 [All Laughing, Hooting] 482 00:29:59,227 --> 00:30:01,695 Pride of the Port Chester sports program, Tom. 483 00:30:01,763 --> 00:30:03,697 Hippie Olympics. 484 00:30:03,765 --> 00:30:06,290 Doesn't matter who wins, 'cause they're all losers. 485 00:30:06,367 --> 00:30:08,460 You know, it's sad, really. 486 00:30:08,536 --> 00:30:13,166 This school used to be a bastion of rich, white elitism. 487 00:30:13,241 --> 00:30:16,540 And now... now they let homosexuals on the football team. 488 00:30:16,611 --> 00:30:19,341 Whining minorities run the student government. 489 00:30:19,414 --> 00:30:22,383 And you can't even coerce a woman into having sex... 490 00:30:22,450 --> 00:30:24,384 without being brought up on charges. 491 00:30:24,452 --> 00:30:27,387 What is this world coming to? Really? 492 00:30:27,455 --> 00:30:29,389 [McPherson] Come on. Let's go. 493 00:30:29,457 --> 00:30:32,392 My pappy'd puke ifhe saw this bunch ofbug- eyed toads... 494 00:30:32,460 --> 00:30:34,894 chasing a scrap of plastic around. 495 00:30:34,963 --> 00:30:36,897 Hey, ponytails.! You suck.! 496 00:30:36,965 --> 00:30:38,728 Hi. [Chuckles Nervously] 497 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,735 We're gettin' housed here, guys. 498 00:30:41,803 --> 00:30:44,169 I say we bring in Blotter. 499 00:30:44,239 --> 00:30:46,207 - Whoa! - [Together] Blotter. 500 00:30:46,274 --> 00:30:49,072 [Hippies, Dreamily] Yeah. 501 00:30:49,143 --> 00:30:51,077 [Chuckling] 502 00:30:51,145 --> 00:30:53,238 - [Loud Whistle] - [Barks] 503 00:30:53,314 --> 00:30:55,782 ****[Rock Resumes] 504 00:30:55,850 --> 00:31:00,048 - [Chattering, Shouting] 505 00:31:05,793 --> 00:31:08,261 - Yeah! Whoo-hoo! 506 00:31:08,329 --> 00:31:10,058 Yeah, Blotter! [Laughing] 507 00:31:10,131 --> 00:31:12,292 You're just buggin' me! 508 00:31:20,774 --> 00:31:23,402 Uh-oh. This is me. I'm going in, coach. 509 00:31:23,477 --> 00:31:26,446 - Cover me, man. - Yeah, yeah, whatever. 510 00:31:26,513 --> 00:31:28,777 ****[Ends] 511 00:31:30,651 --> 00:31:34,348 Sam? Hey! Wow. What are the odds? 512 00:31:34,421 --> 00:31:36,912 Droz. Two times in one day. 513 00:31:36,990 --> 00:31:39,458 - What's come over you? - I don't know. Must be hormonal. 514 00:31:39,526 --> 00:31:41,824 [Womynist] What the hell is he doing here? 515 00:31:41,895 --> 00:31:43,829 Afternoon, ladies. Looking good out there. 516 00:31:43,897 --> 00:31:45,558 - Yeah, whatever. - Jerk. 517 00:31:48,869 --> 00:31:51,269 They're not gonna castrate me for sitting here, are they? 518 00:31:51,338 --> 00:31:53,738 Yeah. That's what they got planned for halftime. 519 00:31:55,576 --> 00:31:57,771 - [Gasps] - Ohh! 520 00:31:57,844 --> 00:31:59,812 Now look who it is. 521 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:02,906 - Meat-tosser! - [Whining] 522 00:32:02,983 --> 00:32:04,917 [Shouting, Yelling] 523 00:32:04,985 --> 00:32:07,419 [Tom Screaming] 524 00:32:07,487 --> 00:32:10,149 Jesus Christ. [Chuckling] I know that kid. 525 00:32:10,223 --> 00:32:13,056 What is he doing? 526 00:32:13,126 --> 00:32:15,151 - I'm open! - Aaah! 527 00:32:15,228 --> 00:32:17,059 Ohhhh! 528 00:32:17,130 --> 00:32:20,327 - Hey! - [Shouting, Yelling] 529 00:32:21,935 --> 00:32:24,369 That weasel snagged the "bee." 530 00:32:25,405 --> 00:32:27,339 [Chuckles] All right. 531 00:32:27,407 --> 00:32:29,341 Bong hits, anyone? 532 00:32:29,409 --> 00:32:31,468 - [Laughs] - All right. 533 00:32:31,545 --> 00:32:33,877 So, I heard you're finally graduating. 534 00:32:33,947 --> 00:32:36,177 Yeah, yeah. It's pretty stupid, huh? 535 00:32:36,249 --> 00:32:38,683 I mean, how could I leave all this? 536 00:32:38,752 --> 00:32:41,016 What about you? You got any plans? 537 00:32:41,088 --> 00:32:43,852 - James Andrews, my old friend. - Hey, Rand. 538 00:32:43,924 --> 00:32:45,915 Samantha, my buttercup. 539 00:32:45,993 --> 00:32:48,359 I hear you're having a party tonight. 540 00:32:48,428 --> 00:32:50,396 Can't go. 541 00:32:50,464 --> 00:32:53,627 But we're all taking bets on how many of you will get arrested. 542 00:32:53,700 --> 00:32:56,692 You remember this guy. He skippered Hitler's catamaran during the war. 543 00:32:56,770 --> 00:32:59,739 Yuck it up now, dipshit. Your nightmare's just beginning. 544 00:32:59,806 --> 00:33:03,674 I think the womynists will be quite interested in your little scribblings. 545 00:33:03,744 --> 00:33:06,804 Oh, yeah. That's where I'm headed. 546 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,348 Samantha, always a pleasure. 547 00:33:09,416 --> 00:33:11,407 See ya. 548 00:33:12,753 --> 00:33:14,880 [Sighs] Gentlemen. 549 00:33:17,724 --> 00:33:19,749 Ladies? 550 00:33:21,695 --> 00:33:23,959 A Pit party? 551 00:33:24,031 --> 00:33:25,999 Mmm. Warm, flat beer. 552 00:33:26,066 --> 00:33:29,695 - [Exclaiming] - Soggy chips. Think about that. 553 00:33:29,770 --> 00:33:32,864 That's just what I need to help me figure out my life. 554 00:33:32,939 --> 00:33:34,770 Stop the penis party! 555 00:33:34,841 --> 00:33:36,570 Get away from him! 556 00:33:36,643 --> 00:33:38,611 - Come on, Sam! - Let's go. 557 00:33:38,679 --> 00:33:42,171 - Hey, Sam, what about tonight? - Don't talk to him! 558 00:33:43,183 --> 00:33:44,878 Shit. 559 00:33:44,951 --> 00:33:47,078 Whoo-hoo! Yea! 560 00:33:47,187 --> 00:33:49,348 [Tires Screech, Horn Honks] 561 00:33:50,691 --> 00:33:52,625 [Tires Screech, Horn Honks] 562 00:33:52,693 --> 00:33:54,684 Hey, watch it, you schmuck.! 563 00:33:57,064 --> 00:33:59,498 Get the beer. Get the beer. 564 00:33:59,566 --> 00:34:01,431 Get the beer. 565 00:34:01,501 --> 00:34:03,560 Get the beer. 566 00:34:04,938 --> 00:34:06,872 [Whispers] Okay. 567 00:34:06,940 --> 00:34:10,706 Excuse me. Can you blow me where the Pampers is? 568 00:34:11,745 --> 00:34:13,337 What? 569 00:34:13,413 --> 00:34:15,904 Can you blow me where the Pampers is? 570 00:34:17,884 --> 00:34:19,784 [Whines] 571 00:34:19,853 --> 00:34:21,821 Can you show me... 572 00:34:21,888 --> 00:34:25,016 where the campus is? 573 00:34:26,059 --> 00:34:27,720 Yeah, sure. 574 00:34:33,500 --> 00:34:35,434 She knows. 575 00:34:35,502 --> 00:34:37,766 She knows. She knows. 576 00:34:37,838 --> 00:34:41,365 Okay, just... just go here for a minute. 577 00:34:43,877 --> 00:34:45,868 I shouldn't have smoked that. 578 00:34:47,180 --> 00:34:50,081 I just, uh, want to pay tribute... 579 00:34:50,150 --> 00:34:52,618 to, uh, both your courage... 580 00:34:52,686 --> 00:34:55,621 and for your, your eloquence... 581 00:34:55,689 --> 00:34:57,589 and for the dignity... 582 00:34:57,657 --> 00:34:59,625 in which you've conducted yourself. 583 00:34:59,693 --> 00:35:01,422 Thank you, Senator. 584 00:35:01,495 --> 00:35:04,430 It knew it was going to be bad when I was nominated. 585 00:35:04,498 --> 00:35:06,864 I did not know it would be this bad. 586 00:35:06,933 --> 00:35:10,869 Could you have guessed that some people... 587 00:35:10,937 --> 00:35:13,462 including people on this committee... 588 00:35:13,540 --> 00:35:16,668 would dredge up stories about drug use? 589 00:35:18,445 --> 00:35:20,379 Wh... Wh... 590 00:35:20,447 --> 00:35:23,382 W- Wait a second, gentlemen of the courtroom. 591 00:35:23,450 --> 00:35:26,442 [Laughing] This guy... is Gutter, man. 592 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,078 [Hippie] The Gut man. 593 00:35:28,155 --> 00:35:31,283 [Mersh] He comes over, man, smokes two major bong loads. 594 00:35:31,358 --> 00:35:33,349 He knows how to carve and everything! 595 00:35:33,426 --> 00:35:36,589 [Hippie] Loads the size of your head, man. 596 00:35:36,663 --> 00:35:39,359 I... I didn't exhale? 597 00:35:41,434 --> 00:35:44,130 - Works for me! Good answer! - Whoo! 598 00:35:44,204 --> 00:35:46,195 - [Coughs] - [Gavel Bangs] 599 00:35:46,273 --> 00:35:48,798 [Whining] 600 00:35:54,514 --> 00:35:56,948 Oh, man, what a nightmare. 601 00:35:57,017 --> 00:35:58,951 [Sighs] Oh, man. 602 00:35:59,019 --> 00:36:01,453 [Panting] 603 00:36:03,456 --> 00:36:06,323 Oh, shit, the beer! 604 00:36:06,393 --> 00:36:08,827 Oh, shit! 605 00:36:08,895 --> 00:36:11,159 Oh! Oh! Oh! 606 00:36:18,805 --> 00:36:20,140 [Chattering] 607 00:36:20,140 --> 00:36:21,801 [Chattering] 608 00:36:24,477 --> 00:36:28,413 [Garcia- Thompson] I think Bisexual Asian Studies should have its own building. 609 00:36:28,481 --> 00:36:30,415 The question is, who goes? 610 00:36:30,483 --> 00:36:32,917 The math department or the hockey team? 611 00:36:32,986 --> 00:36:35,921 - Excuse me. Andrea, the members... - It's Andr�a. 612 00:36:35,989 --> 00:36:37,923 I think hockey. 613 00:36:37,991 --> 00:36:39,925 Call me about it. 614 00:36:39,993 --> 00:36:42,427 The board of trustees is very concerned... 615 00:36:42,495 --> 00:36:44,986 about the state of unrest among the students. 616 00:36:45,065 --> 00:36:48,034 There has been a protest on this campus every day... 617 00:36:48,101 --> 00:36:51,070 and frankly, we're sick of all the bad publicity. 618 00:36:51,137 --> 00:36:53,071 Oh, really? 619 00:36:53,139 --> 00:36:56,074 We're particularly concerned about tomorrow's bicentennial. 620 00:36:56,142 --> 00:37:00,442 It will be the most highly attended alumni event in years. 621 00:37:00,513 --> 00:37:04,415 Gentlemen, relax. Tomorrow's ceremony has been planned to perfection. 622 00:37:04,484 --> 00:37:08,113 And as for the students, I have a special surprise for them. 623 00:37:08,188 --> 00:37:10,088 What are you talking about? 624 00:37:10,156 --> 00:37:13,125 I'm going to announce the changing of the school mascot... 625 00:37:13,193 --> 00:37:15,855 from the offensive Port Chester Indian... 626 00:37:15,929 --> 00:37:17,897 to an endangered specie. 627 00:37:21,534 --> 00:37:23,468 Gentlemen, meet our new mascot... 628 00:37:23,536 --> 00:37:26,198 the Port Chester Whooping Crane. 629 00:37:27,474 --> 00:37:29,806 [Chittering] 630 00:37:32,045 --> 00:37:33,979 No! Wait! No! 631 00:37:34,047 --> 00:37:35,981 Look, jerky, no liquor sold after 8:00. 632 00:37:36,049 --> 00:37:37,983 Connecticut blue laws. 633 00:37:38,051 --> 00:37:40,884 After 8:00? Aft... I missed my ride to the show! 634 00:37:50,130 --> 00:37:53,793 Hey, look. It's a college boy. 635 00:37:53,867 --> 00:37:56,267 - Anybody wanna beat him up? - [All Laughing] 636 00:37:56,303 --> 00:37:57,167 Nice tie.! 637 00:37:57,203 --> 00:37:58,405 This totally bites. 638 00:37:58,405 --> 00:38:00,930 This totally bites. 639 00:38:01,007 --> 00:38:04,966 The first time we've ever been asked to play in public, and there's no public. 640 00:38:05,044 --> 00:38:07,512 The Yankees are back in town... 641 00:38:12,619 --> 00:38:14,610 Fuse box. 642 00:38:24,063 --> 00:38:26,998 Aaaah! Pins and needles! 643 00:38:27,066 --> 00:38:29,000 [Groans] Pins and needles. 644 00:38:29,068 --> 00:38:32,299 Pins and needles. [Grunting] 645 00:38:32,372 --> 00:38:34,397 [Continues Groaning] 646 00:38:36,476 --> 00:38:38,910 You guys, you knocked the plug out. Hello! 647 00:38:38,978 --> 00:38:40,912 [Daves Together] Hey, Raj. 648 00:38:40,980 --> 00:38:43,915 - Hey, Daves, what happened to the flyers? - Huh? 649 00:38:43,983 --> 00:38:46,417 The flyers. I haven't seen one up on campus. 650 00:38:46,486 --> 00:38:48,477 - We put one up. - Damn, man! 651 00:38:48,555 --> 00:38:51,718 - Great. - One flyer? - We're screwed. 652 00:38:51,791 --> 00:38:54,316 There is one thing we can still do. 653 00:38:55,495 --> 00:38:57,463 - Play some loud and abusive tunes? - Exactly. 654 00:38:57,530 --> 00:38:59,964 Do it. Plug my ass in. 655 00:39:09,476 --> 00:39:11,637 Yeah. 656 00:39:11,711 --> 00:39:14,737 [Both Giggling] 657 00:39:14,814 --> 00:39:16,714 [Whispers] Yeah. 658 00:39:16,783 --> 00:39:20,014 Play Metallica and they will come. 659 00:39:20,086 --> 00:39:22,919 We should have handled our own publicity. 660 00:39:40,673 --> 00:39:43,005 [Moaning] 661 00:39:43,076 --> 00:39:45,670 [Groaning Softly] 662 00:39:45,745 --> 00:39:48,737 [Murmuring, Chattering] 663 00:39:56,689 --> 00:39:58,850 [Sighs] Whew. 664 00:40:00,059 --> 00:40:01,993 [Man] Whooping cranes. 665 00:40:02,061 --> 00:40:04,393 Garcia-Thompson's making sandwiches without bread. 666 00:40:04,464 --> 00:40:06,625 That bitch is giving me gout. 667 00:40:06,699 --> 00:40:09,224 Oh, just be patient, Cordeau. 668 00:40:09,302 --> 00:40:11,736 The way she's going, she'll hang herself. 669 00:40:11,804 --> 00:40:14,534 [Cordeau] I'll buy the rope. You find the tree. 670 00:40:15,542 --> 00:40:17,476 Just one man talking... 671 00:40:17,544 --> 00:40:19,978 but I don't get this wholeJames Bond Rasta... 672 00:40:20,046 --> 00:40:22,981 I wanna know how this became about me all of the sudden. 673 00:40:23,049 --> 00:40:25,745 - [Yelling, Cheering] - This is a miracle. 674 00:40:25,818 --> 00:40:28,013 The monkeys pulled it off. 675 00:40:28,087 --> 00:40:30,578 [Yelling, Cheering Continue] 676 00:40:32,325 --> 00:40:35,260 - What the hell's going on here? - Hi, Droz. 677 00:40:35,328 --> 00:40:38,263 Uh, are we having a party tonight, or what? 678 00:40:38,331 --> 00:40:40,765 Well, there's no publicity, so there's no people. 679 00:40:40,833 --> 00:40:43,165 Gutter never showed up, so there's no beer. 680 00:40:43,236 --> 00:40:46,137 Our instruments just blew out, so there's no band, and Raji and Deege may be dead. 681 00:40:46,205 --> 00:40:48,605 Wait a minute. No beer? 682 00:40:48,675 --> 00:40:50,575 Where the hell's Gutter? 683 00:40:50,643 --> 00:40:53,407 Probably in a parking lot somewhere picking his nose. 684 00:40:55,648 --> 00:40:58,742 - Well, there's one consolation. - What's that? 685 00:40:58,818 --> 00:41:01,150 We haven't been protested yet. 686 00:41:01,220 --> 00:41:05,179 Does anybody know why there are 24 womynists beating bongos on our lawn? 687 00:41:05,258 --> 00:41:07,783 Stop the style of oppression that this house... 688 00:41:07,860 --> 00:41:11,227 - What? - Let's check it out. 689 00:41:11,297 --> 00:41:13,765 - Yeah, man. - Comin' through. Comin' through. 690 00:41:14,734 --> 00:41:16,702 - [Womynists Shouting] - All right. 691 00:41:16,769 --> 00:41:20,830 Deadly Zulu drum protest. Haven't seen one of those since my third sophomore year. 692 00:41:20,907 --> 00:41:24,172 - [Cecilia] Full- on response. - [Dave #1] I wish the balls weren't dead. 693 00:41:24,243 --> 00:41:25,870 You try and spread joy... 694 00:41:25,945 --> 00:41:27,537 and then the P.C. shock troops... 695 00:41:27,614 --> 00:41:29,104 just shut you down. 696 00:41:29,182 --> 00:41:32,049 Don't they want to have a good time at least once in their lives? 697 00:41:32,118 --> 00:41:34,484 [Shouting Continues] 698 00:41:35,822 --> 00:41:37,813 That's a damn good point. 699 00:41:39,158 --> 00:41:41,490 Okay, now, it's true... 700 00:41:41,561 --> 00:41:43,995 the majority of students today are so cravenly P. C... 701 00:41:44,063 --> 00:41:46,998 they wouldn't know a good time if it was sitting on their face. 702 00:41:47,066 --> 00:41:51,059 But there is one thing that will always unite us and them. 703 00:41:52,438 --> 00:41:54,406 They're young! 704 00:41:54,474 --> 00:41:56,408 They may not realize it yet... 705 00:41:56,476 --> 00:41:58,603 but they've got the same raging hormones... 706 00:41:58,678 --> 00:42:01,841 the same self-destructive desire to get boldly trashed... 707 00:42:01,914 --> 00:42:03,882 and wildly out of control. 708 00:42:03,950 --> 00:42:07,010 Look out that window. That's not a protest. 709 00:42:07,086 --> 00:42:09,247 That is a cry for help. 710 00:42:09,322 --> 00:42:12,382 Stop the penis party! Stop the penis party! 711 00:42:12,458 --> 00:42:14,426 They're begging us. 712 00:42:14,494 --> 00:42:19,488 "Please have a party! Feed us drinks! Get us laid!" 713 00:42:19,565 --> 00:42:22,261 [Droz Screams] 714 00:42:22,335 --> 00:42:24,303 That's a pretty strange theory, Droz. 715 00:42:24,370 --> 00:42:27,567 Yeah. Besides, we don't have a band or any people, man. 716 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:29,540 - We don't have... - [Together] Any beer! 717 00:42:29,609 --> 00:42:32,578 We've got loose keg sightings near the freshman dorm. 718 00:42:32,645 --> 00:42:35,580 Two cases of zinfandel spotted near the faculty club. 719 00:42:35,648 --> 00:42:38,583 And here, the mother lode... the bicentennial ball. 720 00:42:38,651 --> 00:42:40,778 - Moles, you're on the air in 10. - Got it. 721 00:42:40,853 --> 00:42:44,448 Ceel, you're on bongos. Me, Dave and Dave are on beer. 722 00:42:44,524 --> 00:42:46,515 Katy? You're a freshman. 723 00:42:46,592 --> 00:42:48,753 Find 2,000 people. 724 00:42:50,029 --> 00:42:53,021 Hey.! Hey.! 725 00:42:53,099 --> 00:42:55,363 It's about time the university embraced multiculturalism. 726 00:42:55,435 --> 00:42:57,403 - [McPherson] Hey.! - It really is. 727 00:42:59,205 --> 00:43:02,197 - Excuse me. - Of course. - Uh-huh. 728 00:43:02,275 --> 00:43:04,209 [Man] What was that all about? 729 00:43:04,277 --> 00:43:06,211 What is the complaint count now? 730 00:43:06,279 --> 00:43:08,440 - [Woman] Hello, Andr�a. - [Man] Nice to see you. 731 00:43:08,514 --> 00:43:10,914 Only three this afternoon. 732 00:43:10,983 --> 00:43:13,781 But my community crisis bulletin just went out. Okay? 733 00:43:13,853 --> 00:43:17,152 Well, don't worry, my fair maiden. We will get our quota. 734 00:43:17,223 --> 00:43:21,125 And by the way, have you seen their tasteless flyer? 735 00:43:22,628 --> 00:43:24,960 [Gasps] 736 00:43:25,031 --> 00:43:27,158 Oh, my God. 737 00:43:27,233 --> 00:43:29,497 Is there no limit? 738 00:43:29,569 --> 00:43:31,537 Well... 739 00:43:31,604 --> 00:43:33,538 what I figure they did was... 740 00:43:33,606 --> 00:43:37,838 they cut out a picture of your head and pasted it on another, different picture. 741 00:43:37,910 --> 00:43:41,004 I've done a little collage work myself. 742 00:43:44,817 --> 00:43:47,115 B.D., do me a favor... 743 00:43:47,186 --> 00:43:49,154 and don't ever talk. 744 00:43:49,222 --> 00:43:51,190 [Horn Blares] 745 00:43:51,257 --> 00:43:53,657 ****[Hip- Hop] 746 00:43:53,726 --> 00:43:55,626 Hey, kid. 747 00:43:55,695 --> 00:43:58,357 You know how to get back to I-84? 748 00:43:58,431 --> 00:44:00,922 Where you going? Hartford? 749 00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,696 Yeah, man, we got a concert. We should've been there at 8:00. 750 00:44:03,770 --> 00:44:06,170 I know. The Merkins and Frog and Toad. 751 00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:08,298 - What? - The bad news is... 752 00:44:08,374 --> 00:44:10,342 the 84 is a half hour away... 753 00:44:10,409 --> 00:44:12,502 and then Hartford's another 45 minutes on the freeway. 754 00:44:12,578 --> 00:44:15,046 We should've followed the other bus. 755 00:44:15,114 --> 00:44:17,776 We'll never make it now. We might as well go home. 756 00:44:17,850 --> 00:44:20,444 - Yo, dread. - Yeah, what's up? 757 00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:23,455 Since you missed the show, you think you could give me a ride back to my house? 758 00:44:23,523 --> 00:44:27,289 - Yeah, come on. Get on. - All right, shotgun. 759 00:44:27,460 --> 00:44:29,291 Which one's Rand's? 760 00:44:29,362 --> 00:44:31,796 The cherry Beemer. Thanks, Dad. 761 00:44:31,864 --> 00:44:34,298 I can wire it. Can you get us in? 762 00:44:34,367 --> 00:44:36,801 It might take a little time, but... 763 00:44:36,869 --> 00:44:38,803 yeah, I think so. 764 00:44:38,871 --> 00:44:42,329 - ****[Funk] - That was George Clinton on WPCU with "Tear the Roof Off. " 765 00:44:42,408 --> 00:44:44,342 Clinton's headlining the Civic tonight... 766 00:44:44,410 --> 00:44:47,345 but you can't afford a ticket, man... sorry. 767 00:44:47,413 --> 00:44:50,348 - ** [Continues] - Moles, how's it goin' brother? 768 00:44:50,416 --> 00:44:52,350 - Great show, man. - Thanks, man. 769 00:44:52,418 --> 00:44:54,886 Not really. Listen, I got a favor to ask. 770 00:44:57,156 --> 00:44:59,351 Well, that's good thinkin'. 771 00:45:03,996 --> 00:45:08,330 Oh. Ooh. Eek. 772 00:45:08,401 --> 00:45:09,702 Ow... 773 00:45:09,702 --> 00:45:10,168 Ow... 774 00:45:19,311 --> 00:45:21,302 Toss 'em in back. 775 00:45:23,382 --> 00:45:25,577 [Grunts] 776 00:45:27,820 --> 00:45:30,254 - Sun roof. All right. - [Laughs] 777 00:45:30,322 --> 00:45:34,918 - Rand's gonna piss his pants when he sees his car. - You think so? 778 00:45:34,993 --> 00:45:36,927 - ****[Continues] - Good evening. 779 00:45:36,995 --> 00:45:40,692 We interrupt this broadcast for a special announcement. 780 00:45:40,766 --> 00:45:43,633 [Mullaney On Radio] Are you just sitting around your dorm rooms... 781 00:45:43,702 --> 00:45:45,636 playing cards and eating pizza? 782 00:45:45,704 --> 00:45:48,935 Is this the way you spent the majority of your four years in college? 783 00:45:49,007 --> 00:45:52,101 Would you like tonight to be different? You just don't have any place to go? 784 00:45:52,177 --> 00:45:55,806 Well, now you do! So turn off your radios and head on over. 785 00:45:55,881 --> 00:46:01,080 Tonight, 10:00 p.m. at the Pit, Everyone Gets Laid. 786 00:46:01,153 --> 00:46:04,179 - ****[Continues] - [Shouting, Chattering] 787 00:46:09,394 --> 00:46:12,363 - Yeah! - [Shouting, Laughing] 788 00:46:22,241 --> 00:46:25,335 [Sighs] 789 00:46:25,410 --> 00:46:27,173 K-Katy? 790 00:46:27,246 --> 00:46:28,941 Katy! 791 00:46:30,749 --> 00:46:32,740 It's the pre-frosh. 792 00:46:34,253 --> 00:46:36,414 Stay. 793 00:46:42,694 --> 00:46:46,653 Hi. We were wondering what happened to you. Where you going? 794 00:46:46,732 --> 00:46:48,791 Uh, I'm... I'm gonna go home. 795 00:46:48,867 --> 00:46:50,835 You're leaving? 796 00:46:50,903 --> 00:46:53,463 You... You've only been here, like, 10 minutes. 797 00:46:53,539 --> 00:46:56,599 I know, but I've already managed to piss off the entire campus. 798 00:46:56,675 --> 00:46:59,610 No offense, Katy, but this place is a nightmare. 799 00:46:59,678 --> 00:47:03,045 I'm probably just gonna wind up at State. 800 00:47:03,115 --> 00:47:07,051 [Sighs] Yeah, well, we're all gonna be boring our butts off at State... 801 00:47:07,119 --> 00:47:09,713 if I don't find, like, a thousand people, pronto. 802 00:47:09,788 --> 00:47:13,224 - What do you mean? - We gotta raise seven G's by tomorrow, or we lose the house. 803 00:47:13,292 --> 00:47:15,226 - The Pit? - Yeah. 804 00:47:15,294 --> 00:47:17,228 Damage bill came in. 805 00:47:17,296 --> 00:47:20,231 We're trying to pull off this all-campus rage, and I gotta get people. 806 00:47:20,299 --> 00:47:22,961 All I got are these foreign exchange students. 807 00:47:28,140 --> 00:47:30,335 - It's looking pretty grim. - I can't believe this. 808 00:47:30,409 --> 00:47:33,572 I mean, you're the only ones that haven't tried to kill me since I got here. 809 00:47:33,645 --> 00:47:35,579 Yeah, but... 810 00:47:35,647 --> 00:47:38,741 you're probably not gonna be coming here anyway, so... 811 00:47:38,817 --> 00:47:40,717 don't sweat it. 812 00:47:40,786 --> 00:47:42,913 [Horn Honks] 813 00:47:42,988 --> 00:47:46,253 Um, your ride's here. 814 00:47:47,426 --> 00:47:49,656 It was nice knowing you. 815 00:48:10,883 --> 00:48:12,874 Katy! 816 00:48:16,355 --> 00:48:18,550 You said you needed people, right? 817 00:48:18,690 --> 00:48:21,090 [Droz] Am I okay on that side? 818 00:48:21,159 --> 00:48:23,150 No, no, no... 819 00:48:25,530 --> 00:48:27,225 That's good. 820 00:48:27,299 --> 00:48:29,267 - ****[Piano] - [Guests Chattering] 821 00:48:29,334 --> 00:48:31,325 Hey. Hey! 822 00:48:44,716 --> 00:48:47,708 I'll take care of ape man. You grab the bar. 823 00:48:49,721 --> 00:48:51,814 Hey there, B.D.! 824 00:48:51,890 --> 00:48:54,324 Andrews. You're not supposed to be here. 825 00:48:54,393 --> 00:48:57,794 Hey, that is one great tie. Is that yours, or did you borrow it? 826 00:48:57,863 --> 00:49:00,661 - It's mine. - Really? That is amazing. 827 00:49:00,732 --> 00:49:03,929 I've been looking for something just like this. What are those, little snails? 828 00:49:04,002 --> 00:49:06,095 - They're jockeys. - Really? 829 00:49:06,171 --> 00:49:08,435 'Cause, uh, they look like snails. 830 00:49:08,507 --> 00:49:11,943 Listen, uh, what kind of beer do you got? 831 00:49:12,010 --> 00:49:14,774 - Uh, well, we don't have... - On second thought, what am I doing? 832 00:49:14,846 --> 00:49:16,677 I'm driving. Make it a scotch. 833 00:49:16,748 --> 00:49:19,444 - What? - You're right. 834 00:49:19,518 --> 00:49:22,248 You're a good friend, B.D. You saved my life. 835 00:49:22,321 --> 00:49:25,779 I mean that. You're a hell of a guy. I'm never gonna forget this. 836 00:49:28,827 --> 00:49:30,419 Pardon me. Excuse me. 837 00:49:30,495 --> 00:49:33,464 There's a very interesting studies group... 838 00:49:33,532 --> 00:49:35,557 ** [CD: Piano Stops] 839 00:49:38,170 --> 00:49:40,195 A vodka tonic, please. 840 00:49:42,407 --> 00:49:44,773 [Droz] Ninety- nine. Repeat. 841 00:49:52,918 --> 00:49:55,853 ****["Afternoon Delight, " Loud] 842 00:50:08,233 --> 00:50:11,225 The last time I saw them, they were over here. 843 00:50:11,303 --> 00:50:14,568 [Murmuring, Chattering] 844 00:50:16,408 --> 00:50:19,605 Brothers, I saw him at the cafeteria this morning. 845 00:50:19,678 --> 00:50:21,737 - He was recruitin' for the C.I.A. - C.I.A.? 846 00:50:21,813 --> 00:50:25,476 I heard he injected all the meat with hormones before throwing it off the roof. 847 00:50:25,550 --> 00:50:28,485 He is wearing brown shoes with a blue blazer. 848 00:50:28,553 --> 00:50:30,817 - I mean, can you believe it? - Eeew.! 849 00:50:30,889 --> 00:50:33,414 - What are they so pissed off at? - Watch this. 850 00:50:33,492 --> 00:50:36,188 Hey, butt-licks! 851 00:50:38,930 --> 00:50:41,194 - Remember me? - Jesus Christ, Tom! 852 00:50:41,266 --> 00:50:43,359 [Shouting, Yelling] 853 00:50:45,237 --> 00:50:47,535 - Ha-ha! Let's go! - Oh, shit! 854 00:50:53,111 --> 00:50:55,409 [All Chanting] This penis party's got to go! 855 00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:57,471 Hey-hey! Ho-ho! 856 00:50:57,549 --> 00:50:59,380 This penis party's got to go! 857 00:50:59,451 --> 00:51:01,316 Hey-hey! Ho-ho! 858 00:51:01,386 --> 00:51:03,320 This penis party's got to go! 859 00:51:03,388 --> 00:51:05,253 Hey-hey! Ho-ho! 860 00:51:05,323 --> 00:51:07,257 This penis party's got to go! 861 00:51:07,325 --> 00:51:09,190 Hey-hey! Ho-ho! 862 00:51:09,261 --> 00:51:11,252 This penis party's got to go! 863 00:51:11,329 --> 00:51:13,229 Hey-hey! Ho-ho! 864 00:51:13,298 --> 00:51:15,357 - This penis party's got to go! - * Kumbaya * 865 00:51:15,434 --> 00:51:17,095 Hey-hey! Ho-ho! 866 00:51:17,169 --> 00:51:20,570 * Kumbaya, my Lord * 867 00:51:20,639 --> 00:51:25,042 [AllJoining In] * Kumbaya * 868 00:51:25,110 --> 00:51:28,511 - Everybody! - * Kumbaya, my Lord * 869 00:51:28,580 --> 00:51:31,981 * Kumbaya * 870 00:51:32,050 --> 00:51:36,282 * O Lord, Kumbaya * 871 00:51:36,354 --> 00:51:39,812 - * Kumbaya, my Lord ** - ** [Radio: Heavy Metal] 872 00:51:44,296 --> 00:51:46,787 [Making Engine Noises] 873 00:51:46,865 --> 00:51:50,858 Droz, Droz, what are we gonna do when we don't pull this one off, man? 874 00:51:50,936 --> 00:51:52,870 Uh, bake sale? 875 00:51:52,938 --> 00:51:54,872 What's up, Droz? What's up, Moles? 876 00:51:54,940 --> 00:51:56,874 - You screwed up big time. - The store was closed. 877 00:51:56,942 --> 00:51:59,877 No, I put my trust in you to handle the beer, and you violated that trust. 878 00:51:59,945 --> 00:52:02,812 - Yo, Gutter, gotta go. Where it at? - Oh, right in there. 879 00:52:02,881 --> 00:52:04,815 What's happenin'? 880 00:52:04,883 --> 00:52:07,818 Listen, don't charge these guys, Moles. They just gotta use the can. 881 00:52:07,886 --> 00:52:09,820 They're with me. 882 00:52:09,888 --> 00:52:12,823 - Droz, th-that was... - Do you have any idea who that was? 883 00:52:12,891 --> 00:52:15,826 - They're just using the can. You made your point. - That was George Clinton. 884 00:52:15,894 --> 00:52:18,829 - I'm sorry! - Listen to me. Parliament. The P-Funk All-Stars. 885 00:52:18,897 --> 00:52:21,331 - Come on. Tell him. - Dr. Funkenstein? 886 00:52:21,399 --> 00:52:23,833 The man is the king of interplanetary funk. 887 00:52:23,902 --> 00:52:26,837 - Tell him who it is. - It's George Clinton. 888 00:52:26,905 --> 00:52:28,338 - The guy with the hair? - Yeah. 889 00:52:28,373 --> 00:52:29,533 Gut, you're a legend. 890 00:52:29,574 --> 00:52:30,774 Yo! There are no chicks in here. What did I tell you? 891 00:52:30,774 --> 00:52:34,608 Yo! There are no chicks in here. What did I tell you? 892 00:52:34,677 --> 00:52:37,145 Yeah, man, there's not even any chips. 893 00:52:37,213 --> 00:52:38,771 Chips! Chips! 894 00:52:38,848 --> 00:52:41,009 [All Chanting] Chips! Chips! Chips! Chips! 895 00:52:41,084 --> 00:52:44,053 - [Chanting Continues] - [Exhales] Oh, hold it. 896 00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:46,054 [Toilet Flushing] 897 00:52:46,122 --> 00:52:49,057 - Man! - Y'all got to clean that place up. 898 00:52:49,125 --> 00:52:51,059 - [Laughing] - Gutter, get a mop. 899 00:52:51,127 --> 00:52:54,062 Listen, uh, we couldn't help but notice that you're George Clinton. 900 00:52:54,130 --> 00:52:57,065 - Yeah? - Listen, George, we've had a real bad day. 901 00:52:57,133 --> 00:53:01,001 The president of the university has been spanking us with a seven-grand damage bill. 902 00:53:01,070 --> 00:53:04,005 We were gonna rob a 7-Eleven. We don't have enough ski masks. 903 00:53:04,073 --> 00:53:07,008 So what are we gonna do? We're gonna throw an all-campus rocker. 904 00:53:07,076 --> 00:53:10,011 The only problem is, we don't have the artillery. 905 00:53:10,079 --> 00:53:13,014 Please, what you want from me? What you tryin' to say? 906 00:53:13,082 --> 00:53:16,017 - We were hoping you could play our party. - What? 907 00:53:16,085 --> 00:53:19,020 Can't nobody make no face that ugly and not be serious. 908 00:53:19,088 --> 00:53:21,249 [Chuckles] We'll do it, man. Jesus. 909 00:53:21,324 --> 00:53:24,259 Gut, get the band off the bus. Put the whole band in here. 910 00:53:24,327 --> 00:53:26,261 Just tell everybody to come on out. 911 00:53:26,329 --> 00:53:29,127 - That's so great, man. I'm gonna be right back. - Yeah, man, I got ya. 912 00:53:29,199 --> 00:53:32,134 Boy, y'all goin' overboard with this black awareness. That boy got a rap. 913 00:53:32,202 --> 00:53:34,102 Well, it's equal opportunity. 914 00:53:34,170 --> 00:53:36,695 - Chips! Chips! Chips! Chips! - Fellas, I got... 915 00:53:36,773 --> 00:53:39,435 - Fellas! - [Chanting Stops] 916 00:53:39,509 --> 00:53:42,967 Chuck, Porterhouse, Rib-Eye, I know exactly how you guys are feeling. 917 00:53:43,046 --> 00:53:46,948 In fact, I can think of only one thing that could lift my spirits right now. 918 00:53:48,451 --> 00:53:50,749 - Beer. - Beer. 919 00:53:50,820 --> 00:53:55,120 [All Chanting] Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! 920 00:53:55,191 --> 00:53:58,160 - I think I'm missing a piece. - Yeah, me too, man. 921 00:53:58,228 --> 00:54:00,162 Let's give up, huh? 922 00:54:00,230 --> 00:54:03,563 Guys, guys, we've got an L.A. -sized riot of thirsty men with no necks... 923 00:54:03,633 --> 00:54:05,294 screaming for brew. 924 00:54:07,170 --> 00:54:09,070 [All Shouting] Yeah! 925 00:54:09,138 --> 00:54:11,129 - Back up! - Get away! 926 00:54:19,616 --> 00:54:21,584 ** [Tuning] 927 00:54:21,651 --> 00:54:24,085 Yeah, that's close enough for funk, baby. 928 00:54:24,153 --> 00:54:27,088 Thanks, but I think I know how to tune my ax... 929 00:54:27,156 --> 00:54:29,215 - Yeah, I'll bet you do. - Oh, my God. George Clinton. 930 00:54:29,292 --> 00:54:31,260 - Woof! - Hi. 931 00:54:31,327 --> 00:54:33,557 Just the dog in me, baby. 932 00:54:33,630 --> 00:54:35,598 Oh, shit! Hi! 933 00:54:35,665 --> 00:54:39,431 - Why don't you play me a song? Go ahead, girl. - Uh... 934 00:54:39,502 --> 00:54:41,470 ** [Dramatic] 935 00:54:41,537 --> 00:54:45,029 Pig, gotta change your P.J.'s. We're having a party. 936 00:54:46,309 --> 00:54:48,243 [Whispers] Shower scene. 937 00:54:48,311 --> 00:54:50,302 Oh. 938 00:54:51,314 --> 00:54:53,111 Droz. 939 00:54:53,182 --> 00:54:55,150 - Droz! - Yeah? 940 00:54:55,218 --> 00:54:57,812 I don't wanna burst your bubble, but we got a slight problem. 941 00:54:57,887 --> 00:55:01,015 - What? - No guests. 942 00:55:01,090 --> 00:55:03,285 [Chattering] 943 00:55:03,359 --> 00:55:05,827 How you doin'? Hey, what up? 944 00:55:05,895 --> 00:55:08,386 [Chattering Continues] 945 00:55:19,042 --> 00:55:21,840 - [Shouting, Yelling] - Yeah, that's right, man. 946 00:55:21,911 --> 00:55:25,472 All right, sit down.! Okay.! Okay.! 947 00:55:25,548 --> 00:55:27,516 Hold on a second, everyone. 948 00:55:27,583 --> 00:55:29,483 I understand you all met Tom. 949 00:55:29,552 --> 00:55:32,282 - Yeah, yeah, I fucking met Tom! - He snagged our disk! 950 00:55:32,355 --> 00:55:34,823 I know, and he's gonna pay for it. 951 00:55:34,891 --> 00:55:37,621 Moles, take him downstairs and beat the shit out of him. 952 00:55:37,694 --> 00:55:40,629 - Yeah! - Sorry, kid. You heard the man. 953 00:55:40,697 --> 00:55:43,632 - No, no, not that! - Okay, justice has been served, everybody. 954 00:55:43,700 --> 00:55:47,067 - You can go home. - [Shouting, Grumbling] 955 00:55:47,136 --> 00:55:50,196 Wait. If you guys aren't doing anything tonight, we've got George Clinton inside. 956 00:55:50,273 --> 00:55:53,174 - [Crowd Exclaiming] - He's tuning up on the main stage. 957 00:55:53,242 --> 00:55:56,678 - Sounds like another one of the white man's lies to me. - [Shouting In Agreement] 958 00:55:56,746 --> 00:55:58,839 ****[Funk] 959 00:55:58,915 --> 00:56:00,815 - ****[Continues] - [Woman] Hey, check it out. 960 00:56:00,883 --> 00:56:02,748 Or maybe not. Let's check it out. 961 00:56:02,819 --> 00:56:05,754 Hey, wait a minute. What about us? 962 00:56:05,822 --> 00:56:09,053 Yeah, that little dork tripped on the main plug and lost all our theses! 963 00:56:09,125 --> 00:56:12,094 Okay, that's no problem. You guys come with me. 964 00:56:12,161 --> 00:56:15,153 The rest of you, five bucks a head, the line forms to the left. 965 00:56:16,933 --> 00:56:18,833 Okay, what's your major? 966 00:56:18,901 --> 00:56:21,369 - Um, particle physics. - Ooh, that's a tough one. 967 00:56:21,437 --> 00:56:23,371 Let me see... Ooh. 968 00:56:23,439 --> 00:56:27,170 "Motion of Helium Atoms In An Excited State." Watch out. It's a scorcher. 969 00:56:28,511 --> 00:56:31,071 - Next. - Uh, Sanskrit. 970 00:56:31,147 --> 00:56:34,878 Sanskrit. You're majoring in a 5,000-year-old dead language. 971 00:56:34,951 --> 00:56:37,283 Yeah. 972 00:56:37,353 --> 00:56:39,321 Okay... Ooh. 973 00:56:39,389 --> 00:56:41,414 Latin. It's the best I can do. 974 00:56:41,491 --> 00:56:44,119 - Next. - Phys Ed. 975 00:56:44,193 --> 00:56:47,060 Phys Ed. Okay, you're out of my room. Seriously. Get out. 976 00:56:47,196 --> 00:56:49,756 - [Microphone Feedback] - Hello, Port Chester University. 977 00:56:49,832 --> 00:56:52,323 [Hooting, Cheering] 978 00:56:55,171 --> 00:56:57,469 This is... 979 00:56:57,540 --> 00:56:59,474 George Clinton. 980 00:56:59,542 --> 00:57:02,067 George CI-Clinton... 981 00:57:02,145 --> 00:57:04,545 Parliament Funkadelic. 982 00:57:04,614 --> 00:57:07,082 And the Parliament Funkadelic. 983 00:57:07,150 --> 00:57:10,551 - [Cheering Continues] - ** [Funk] 984 00:57:10,620 --> 00:57:12,611 All right, man. 985 00:57:47,423 --> 00:57:50,358 - ****[Continues] - All right, sisters, we've had a mild setback. 986 00:57:50,426 --> 00:57:52,360 But we've regrouped. Let's mobilize. 987 00:57:52,428 --> 00:57:54,623 - ****[Continues] - Isn't this George Clinton? 988 00:57:56,299 --> 00:58:00,167 No. Couldn't be. It's gotta be a cover band. He'd never play the Pit. 989 00:58:00,236 --> 00:58:02,727 It does sound like him... though. 990 00:58:02,805 --> 00:58:05,740 Guys, I think we should bag the protest. 991 00:58:05,808 --> 00:58:07,742 - [Gasping, Shrieking] - What? 992 00:58:07,810 --> 00:58:11,644 But, Sam, their party flyer promotes the objectification of women. 993 00:58:11,714 --> 00:58:13,443 Maybe. 994 00:58:13,516 --> 00:58:16,485 But they've also got a really kickin' party going on. 995 00:58:17,587 --> 00:58:19,521 That's great, Sam. 996 00:58:19,589 --> 00:58:23,025 Why don't we just forget about fighting the phallacracy for a few hours... 997 00:58:23,092 --> 00:58:25,026 and go have a good time? 998 00:58:25,094 --> 00:58:28,029 - Right? - Exactly. 999 00:58:28,097 --> 00:58:30,031 ****[Continues] 1000 00:58:30,099 --> 00:58:32,158 - Excuse me. - [Woman] Come back.! You can't go.! 1001 00:58:32,235 --> 00:58:34,370 How can she leave us? 1002 00:58:38,107 --> 00:58:40,200 [Whining] 1003 00:58:40,275 --> 00:58:42,209 We're locked in! [Breathing Heavily] 1004 00:58:44,947 --> 00:58:47,882 I'm a black man. There's nojustice for me here in America. 1005 00:58:47,950 --> 00:58:50,111 I should be at the front of the line. 1006 00:58:50,185 --> 00:58:53,382 Yeah, well, I'm gay and subject to ridicule and discrimination wherever I go. 1007 00:58:53,455 --> 00:58:56,390 Women are oppressed throughout the world. Give it a rest. 1008 00:58:56,458 --> 00:59:00,394 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. 1009 00:59:00,462 --> 00:59:02,396 Hey, Moles. How are we doin'? 1010 00:59:02,464 --> 00:59:05,365 Got about a thou here, plus I got Cecilia on the other door. 1011 00:59:05,434 --> 00:59:07,368 What other door? 1012 00:59:07,436 --> 00:59:09,870 - Hold it! One or two? - What? 1013 00:59:09,938 --> 00:59:13,305 - One or two? - [Scoffs] Two. 1014 00:59:13,375 --> 00:59:16,742 Four bucks. Four bucks. 1015 00:59:19,348 --> 00:59:21,282 Light a match. 1016 00:59:21,350 --> 00:59:25,286 Gutter, take the can, will ya? Take the can. Two to stand, four to sit. 1017 00:59:25,354 --> 00:59:28,289 Hey, hey, hey! Not so fast, superguy. 1018 00:59:38,133 --> 00:59:40,067 - Have a good party. - Whoo-hoo! 1019 00:59:40,135 --> 00:59:44,265 Party everybody! 1020 00:59:44,339 --> 00:59:47,866 Look at this unbridled display of testosterone. 1021 00:59:47,943 --> 00:59:50,309 - Makes me sick. - Do it, man! Go on! 1022 00:59:50,379 --> 00:59:52,745 - Hey! - What's up, babes? 1023 00:59:52,815 --> 00:59:55,283 Pack up your rape culture and take a hike! 1024 00:59:55,350 --> 00:59:58,080 - [Laughing] - You want a brewdog? 1025 00:59:58,153 --> 01:00:00,553 We're not interested in your penis! 1026 01:00:00,622 --> 01:00:03,557 Wait. I think he's offering us a beer. 1027 01:00:03,625 --> 01:00:07,721 Um, yes, we would like... a... beer. 1028 01:00:07,796 --> 01:00:10,959 Okay. Gimme a beer! Gimme a beer! 1029 01:00:11,033 --> 01:00:13,934 Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! 1030 01:00:14,002 --> 01:00:17,438 It's, like, if you're nice to them, they bring you things? 1031 01:00:17,506 --> 01:00:20,737 Exactly. 1032 01:00:22,678 --> 01:00:25,408 Raji, Deege, get up. Come on. We got company. 1033 01:00:25,481 --> 01:00:30,180 Hey, Droz. 1034 01:00:42,097 --> 01:00:44,531 Hey! You know what, Droz? 1035 01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:46,534 - What's up, baby? - I'm 18! 1036 01:00:46,602 --> 01:00:49,298 - Uh-huh? - Yeah! I'm up at college for the weekend! 1037 01:00:49,371 --> 01:00:52,363 I'm gettin' wasted at one of the greatest rages of all time! 1038 01:00:52,441 --> 01:00:54,375 - My parents... they're nowhere in sight. - Nowhere. 1039 01:00:54,443 --> 01:00:56,468 T-T-There are women all around me. 1040 01:00:56,545 --> 01:00:59,776 - Right. - Why the hell am I talkin' to you? 1041 01:00:59,848 --> 01:01:01,782 - No idea, baby. - I don't know! 1042 01:01:01,850 --> 01:01:04,546 Do it, big guy! [Laughing] 1043 01:01:11,793 --> 01:01:14,125 Whoa! 1044 01:01:15,330 --> 01:01:18,766 - Hey! You made it! - Yeah! Decent party. 1045 01:01:18,834 --> 01:01:21,268 I can't believe the naked guy showed. 1046 01:01:21,336 --> 01:01:26,330 Naked guy! Excellent butt! 1047 01:01:26,408 --> 01:01:27,534 Now it's a party! 1048 01:01:27,609 --> 01:01:29,543 - Gangway! - Hey! 1049 01:01:33,715 --> 01:01:36,309 Gutter.! Hey, Gut man.! 1050 01:01:36,385 --> 01:01:39,047 - Hey! Gutter! - What's up, Mersh? 1051 01:01:39,121 --> 01:01:41,555 Total nightmare scenario, man. 1052 01:01:41,623 --> 01:01:43,921 We spotted you, like, 20 minutes in the ride lot. 1053 01:01:43,992 --> 01:01:46,017 No show, right? 1054 01:01:46,094 --> 01:01:49,359 Discouraged at the Civvy, and next Clinton bails! 1055 01:01:49,431 --> 01:01:52,332 Mersh, you gotta lay off the pipe, man! 1056 01:01:52,401 --> 01:01:55,598 Clinton is playing right here! 1057 01:02:00,642 --> 01:02:04,009 Marvelous! Whoo! 1058 01:02:09,685 --> 01:02:12,051 [Whining] 1059 01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:14,884 Move! [Yells] 1060 01:02:32,074 --> 01:02:35,066 Tom! Tom! 1061 01:02:35,143 --> 01:02:37,134 ****[Continues] 1062 01:02:41,850 --> 01:02:43,784 Hi! 1063 01:02:43,852 --> 01:02:47,117 - Hey! Whoa! Hey! What's goin' on? - What? 1064 01:02:47,189 --> 01:02:49,589 Uh, hey, do you want to go someplace? 1065 01:02:49,658 --> 01:02:52,559 ****[Vocalizing] 1066 01:02:58,333 --> 01:03:01,302 [Grunts] Ow! Don't! 1067 01:03:01,370 --> 01:03:03,304 [Chuckles] 1068 01:03:03,372 --> 01:03:05,203 Move it, you little pervert. 1069 01:03:05,273 --> 01:03:07,935 [Straining] 1070 01:03:08,010 --> 01:03:10,843 - [Yells] - [Grunts] 1071 01:03:16,752 --> 01:03:19,186 Round up your cohorts, McPherson. 1072 01:03:19,254 --> 01:03:21,688 You're getting your house back. 1073 01:03:24,259 --> 01:03:26,193 Yes! 1074 01:03:32,601 --> 01:03:35,968 I have some big news. 1075 01:03:36,038 --> 01:03:40,702 Seven thousand... five hundred... sixty-eight dollars! 1076 01:03:40,776 --> 01:03:42,710 The damage money and 100 to spare! 1077 01:03:42,778 --> 01:03:44,803 [Cheering] 1078 01:03:44,880 --> 01:03:47,440 - Who wants to break some more shit? - I do! 1079 01:03:47,516 --> 01:03:49,882 - [Man On TV, Indistinct] - [Gunshots] 1080 01:03:54,456 --> 01:03:56,447 ** [Vocalizing] 1081 01:04:04,566 --> 01:04:06,932 A Bridge Too Far. 1082 01:04:08,670 --> 01:04:11,104 Caine and Hackman in the same movie together! 1083 01:04:11,173 --> 01:04:14,631 This is my thesis, man! This is my closing argument! 1084 01:04:14,710 --> 01:04:19,374 I can stop watchin' TV! 1085 01:04:19,448 --> 01:04:21,382 Yeah! 1086 01:04:27,723 --> 01:04:29,691 Yeah! 1087 01:04:34,730 --> 01:04:36,721 [Yelling] 1088 01:05:15,837 --> 01:05:18,237 [Roars] 1089 01:05:24,780 --> 01:05:27,248 - [Garcia- Thompson] Stop it right now.! - [Crashes] 1090 01:05:32,988 --> 01:05:35,582 Moonbeam, what are you doing here? 1091 01:05:37,125 --> 01:05:39,059 All right, everyone. 1092 01:05:39,127 --> 01:05:42,498 You've let these warped nihilists corrupt you long enough. 1093 01:05:42,631 --> 01:05:45,225 - Back to your dorms. - Funk you very much too. 1094 01:05:45,300 --> 01:05:47,666 Let's get the hell out of here, y'all. 1095 01:05:47,736 --> 01:05:50,864 We don't need this shit. Stompin'no more. 1096 01:05:52,641 --> 01:05:54,905 - Boo.! - Party- pooper. 1097 01:05:54,977 --> 01:05:58,413 Thanks for tanking the party. That was real nice. 1098 01:05:58,480 --> 01:06:00,914 But I got some bad news. 1099 01:06:00,983 --> 01:06:02,917 We actually raised enough money... 1100 01:06:02,985 --> 01:06:06,477 so we're keeping the house. 1101 01:06:07,923 --> 01:06:11,222 Recognize these, Mr. Andrews? They're complaint forms. 1102 01:06:11,293 --> 01:06:13,227 And between today's activities... 1103 01:06:13,295 --> 01:06:15,661 and tonight's little exercise in offensiveness... 1104 01:06:15,731 --> 01:06:21,169 I can assure you there are more than enough to kick you all off campus. 1105 01:06:21,236 --> 01:06:23,670 All right, boys. Let's close it down. 1106 01:06:23,739 --> 01:06:26,674 I warned you your attitude was disrupting this campus. 1107 01:06:26,742 --> 01:06:31,111 The students have spoken. You're out of here. 1108 01:06:37,686 --> 01:06:41,349 Bye. Thanks for the party, oppressors. 1109 01:06:42,758 --> 01:06:44,692 I've got one question. 1110 01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:47,320 If we're movin' out, who's movin' in? 1111 01:06:48,564 --> 01:06:53,365 Hi, everybody. Hey, what's wrong? 1112 01:06:53,435 --> 01:06:56,199 Aw, looks like you guys went all out tonight. 1113 01:06:56,271 --> 01:06:58,239 Raised $7,000. Wow! 1114 01:06:59,675 --> 01:07:02,542 What's the matter, forehead? Trying to figure it out? 1115 01:07:02,611 --> 01:07:06,570 Well, let's see. We give you the damage bill. 1116 01:07:06,648 --> 01:07:09,082 You, of course, predictably throw a disgusting party... 1117 01:07:09,151 --> 01:07:12,882 all the freaky freakies come out of the woodwork to protest... 1118 01:07:12,955 --> 01:07:15,048 and you're out ofhere. 1119 01:07:15,123 --> 01:07:17,523 Well, we still trashed your Beemer... 1120 01:07:17,593 --> 01:07:19,527 you screaming preppy asshole. 1121 01:07:19,595 --> 01:07:21,187 - [Laughing] - Right.! 1122 01:07:21,263 --> 01:07:23,993 That's not my car. 1123 01:07:24,066 --> 01:07:27,365 [Alarm Beeps] Warning. You are too close to the vehicle. 1124 01:07:27,436 --> 01:07:29,597 Huh. 1125 01:07:29,671 --> 01:07:32,538 Now get off my lawn. 1126 01:07:32,608 --> 01:07:34,599 Move! 1127 01:07:34,676 --> 01:07:39,010 Wait a second. You guys can't let them just walk in and take the Pit. 1128 01:07:39,081 --> 01:07:43,017 We could go Waco on 'em, man. We could blow up our own house. 1129 01:07:43,085 --> 01:07:46,020 Nah, ran out of explosives. What we need is a plan. 1130 01:07:46,088 --> 01:07:48,022 Okay, Garcia-Thompson's the president. 1131 01:07:48,090 --> 01:07:50,024 She's the one that's kicking you out. Right? 1132 01:07:50,092 --> 01:07:53,687 - Yeah. - What if she wasn't the president anymore? 1133 01:07:53,762 --> 01:07:56,856 Sounds nice in theory. But how are we supposed to pull that one off? 1134 01:07:56,932 --> 01:07:58,866 I overheard some old guys talking. 1135 01:07:58,934 --> 01:08:01,801 They wanna get rid ofThompson, but legally they can't... 1136 01:08:01,870 --> 01:08:05,738 not unless she screws something up really, really big. 1137 01:08:08,310 --> 01:08:10,210 ****[Marching Band] 1138 01:08:27,796 --> 01:08:30,060 Whoo. Whoo. 1139 01:08:30,132 --> 01:08:35,968 I'd like to welcome everyone to Port Chester's 200th anniversary celebration. 1140 01:08:38,306 --> 01:08:40,740 Before we get started, please observe... 1141 01:08:40,809 --> 01:08:45,473 that your program notes have been printed on recycled paper. 1142 01:08:48,250 --> 01:08:52,744 - Birthdays are a way of remembering one's history. - Perfect. 1143 01:08:52,821 --> 01:08:56,757 Those homeless people at the Pit didn't even bother to show. 1144 01:08:56,825 --> 01:08:59,623 They're probably grubbin' quarters at the bus station by now. 1145 01:08:59,695 --> 01:09:02,129 Welcome P.C.U.'s most recent change... 1146 01:09:02,197 --> 01:09:04,290 our new school mascot... 1147 01:09:04,366 --> 01:09:06,766 the Port Chester whooping crane. 1148 01:09:11,239 --> 01:09:14,208 Hey, guys, it's a beautiful day, isn't it? 1149 01:09:14,276 --> 01:09:17,643 - Oh, God. Not now! [Struggling] - Hey, what's up? 1150 01:09:17,713 --> 01:09:20,614 - [Grunting] - Threatened by hunters and developers... 1151 01:09:20,682 --> 01:09:24,675 and those awful plastic six- pack can holder things. 1152 01:09:24,753 --> 01:09:28,689 But here at Port Chester, she will be closely watched and tended to... 1153 01:09:28,757 --> 01:09:33,194 safe from the natural habitat that is so fraught with danger. 1154 01:09:33,261 --> 01:09:37,220 - Oh, my God. - [Student] I hear they taste like chicken. 1155 01:09:41,703 --> 01:09:46,504 - What's he doing? - Let's give it up for Andrea Garcia-Thompson... 1156 01:09:46,575 --> 01:09:49,703 and her amazing and impromptu rare bird show. 1157 01:09:49,778 --> 01:09:52,679 The bird show. The amazing bird show. The wonderful bird show. 1158 01:09:52,748 --> 01:09:56,149 - The bird show.! - [Cheers] 1159 01:09:56,218 --> 01:09:59,415 I don't have a lot of time to say this but I gotta get something off my chest. 1160 01:09:59,488 --> 01:10:02,423 Last night, my house threw a party... 1161 01:10:02,491 --> 01:10:04,891 and I thought that we all finally got along. 1162 01:10:04,960 --> 01:10:06,894 We had a good time. 1163 01:10:06,962 --> 01:10:10,659 But we got so many protests, we broke so many rules... 1164 01:10:10,732 --> 01:10:12,893 that we got booted off campus. 1165 01:10:12,968 --> 01:10:16,404 You know, it used to be the administration's job to make rules. 1166 01:10:16,471 --> 01:10:19,998 It used to be us against them. Now it's us against us. 1167 01:10:20,075 --> 01:10:22,407 I've been here seven years and I gotta tell you guys... 1168 01:10:22,477 --> 01:10:26,072 what's going on here is about America. 1169 01:10:26,148 --> 01:10:28,673 - Shut up. - It's about democracy. 1170 01:10:28,750 --> 01:10:33,744 It's about the Bill of Rights, basic cable, call-waiting, free trips to the salad bar. 1171 01:10:33,822 --> 01:10:38,418 It's about everything that makes this country great. Our country.! 1172 01:10:38,493 --> 01:10:40,927 We can do something about this. 1173 01:10:40,996 --> 01:10:44,227 We can finally say... 1174 01:10:44,299 --> 01:10:48,633 that when some people are having a good time... 1175 01:10:48,703 --> 01:10:50,762 and drinking some beers, throwing some meat... 1176 01:10:50,839 --> 01:10:53,399 that we're not gonna protest. 1177 01:10:53,475 --> 01:10:57,741 In fact, I promised myself I wouldn't do this. I'm sorry. 1178 01:10:57,813 --> 01:11:01,806 If we couldjust say that, if only to each other... 1179 01:11:01,883 --> 01:11:03,817 just this one time... 1180 01:11:03,885 --> 01:11:06,547 that we're not gonna protest. 1181 01:11:12,828 --> 01:11:15,592 That we're not gonna protest? 1182 01:11:15,664 --> 01:11:18,565 We're not gonna protest! 1183 01:11:19,835 --> 01:11:21,996 We're not gonna protest! 1184 01:11:22,070 --> 01:11:23,901 [Droz] We're not gonna protest.! 1185 01:11:23,972 --> 01:11:25,940 We're not gonna protest! 1186 01:11:26,007 --> 01:11:27,872 We're not gonna protest! 1187 01:11:27,943 --> 01:11:29,672 [Chanting] We're not gonna protest.! 1188 01:11:29,744 --> 01:11:31,405 We're not gonna protest! 1189 01:11:31,479 --> 01:11:33,174 We're not gonna protest! 1190 01:11:33,248 --> 01:11:35,148 We're not gonna protest! 1191 01:11:35,217 --> 01:11:36,912 We're not gonna protest! 1192 01:11:36,985 --> 01:11:39,044 We're not gonna protest! 1193 01:11:39,120 --> 01:11:42,089 This is not good. This is really not good. 1194 01:11:42,157 --> 01:11:44,819 We're not gonna protest! 1195 01:11:44,893 --> 01:11:46,224 We're not gonna protest.! 1196 01:11:46,294 --> 01:11:49,593 Chant sheets! Get your chant sheets. Right here. 1197 01:11:49,664 --> 01:11:52,690 We got placards here. Placards here. We got 'em. 1198 01:11:52,767 --> 01:11:56,498 Okay, we got placards here. We got placards for everybody... 1199 01:11:57,706 --> 01:12:00,573 We brought our own. 1200 01:12:00,642 --> 01:12:02,610 [Chanting Continues] We're not gonna protest! 1201 01:12:02,677 --> 01:12:05,771 We're not gonna protest.! 1202 01:12:05,847 --> 01:12:08,315 Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats. 1203 01:12:08,383 --> 01:12:10,817 Everyone, please, take your seats. 1204 01:12:10,886 --> 01:12:16,153 - We're not gonna protest! - Be quiet.! I'm asking you to be quiet, everyone. 1205 01:12:16,224 --> 01:12:18,158 Be quiet.! 1206 01:12:18,226 --> 01:12:20,558 B.D., get us out of here before they touch me. 1207 01:12:20,629 --> 01:12:22,563 [Whining] 1208 01:12:22,631 --> 01:12:26,397 Please take your seats. Be quiet.! I'm... 1209 01:12:26,468 --> 01:12:29,767 Thompson, your inability to control the students... 1210 01:12:29,838 --> 01:12:34,207 has convinced us that you are an ineffective president. 1211 01:12:34,276 --> 01:12:36,210 What? What are you talking about? 1212 01:12:36,278 --> 01:12:41,215 You're fired, Thompson. Dismissed. Booted. Sacked. 1213 01:12:41,283 --> 01:12:43,951 History. Shit-canned. Out of here. 1214 01:12:44,084 --> 01:12:47,144 What are you doing? B.D., go beat up the pre-frosh. 1215 01:12:47,220 --> 01:12:50,587 - The little kid? - He's a Pit spy, Neanderthal. Kick his ass. 1216 01:12:54,294 --> 01:12:57,559 Thanks, guys. I feel much better now. 1217 01:12:57,631 --> 01:13:01,067 Oh, Okay. Thank you. 1218 01:13:01,134 --> 01:13:03,159 We're not gonna protest.! 1219 01:13:03,236 --> 01:13:06,034 - Gutter is a tool. - [Crowd] Gutter is a tool. 1220 01:13:06,106 --> 01:13:08,097 We're not gonna protest.! 1221 01:13:09,309 --> 01:13:11,834 Here's to Balls and Shaft! 1222 01:13:11,912 --> 01:13:14,506 [Groans] 1223 01:13:16,817 --> 01:13:20,753 I scheme for months and it all gets screwed up because you can't control the students! 1224 01:13:20,821 --> 01:13:23,119 Never send a woman to do a man's job! 1225 01:13:23,190 --> 01:13:26,250 You cocky, pointy-nosed little Reaganite. 1226 01:13:26,326 --> 01:13:28,886 If you hadn't provoked them, we wouldn't be in this mess. 1227 01:13:28,962 --> 01:13:32,693 Excuse me? Reality check here. Earth to tall bitch. 1228 01:13:32,766 --> 01:13:34,700 What is your fault? This is. 1229 01:13:34,768 --> 01:13:39,205 Hey, poor boy, go and have your parties with all your new friends. 1230 01:13:39,272 --> 01:13:41,206 I can see it now, Andrews. 1231 01:13:41,274 --> 01:13:43,799 You and all the knee-jerk, bleeding heart liberals... 1232 01:13:43,877 --> 01:13:46,471 sipping tea and playing patty- cake, and those useless... 1233 01:13:46,546 --> 01:13:48,810 hippie potheads, those commie- pinko leftists... 1234 01:13:48,882 --> 01:13:51,646 the bunny huggers, the pillow biters... 1235 01:13:51,718 --> 01:13:53,208 Wait. Which ones are the pillow biters? 1236 01:13:53,286 --> 01:13:56,278 The butt-pirates. And those beastly man-haters. 1237 01:13:56,356 --> 01:14:00,315 Tell those chicks to shave their pits and call me. 1238 01:14:00,394 --> 01:14:03,591 Goddamn whiny crybaby minorities. You can keep 'em all. 1239 01:14:03,663 --> 01:14:05,597 Rand McPherson, everybody. 1240 01:14:05,665 --> 01:14:08,725 Just remember the 9:30 show is completely different from the 7:30 show. 1241 01:14:08,802 --> 01:14:11,134 Enjoy the meal. 1242 01:14:14,041 --> 01:14:16,737 - Come on! Come on! - [Whining] 1243 01:14:20,747 --> 01:14:24,444 And in light of your valiant actions to save this house... 1244 01:14:24,518 --> 01:14:27,715 we all think it's time to take part in the one tradition left over... 1245 01:14:27,788 --> 01:14:29,983 from the dark days of Balls and Shaft. 1246 01:14:30,057 --> 01:14:32,150 Tom Lawrence, prepare yourself... 1247 01:14:33,160 --> 01:14:35,424 for initiation. 1248 01:14:42,269 --> 01:14:46,103 Just try to relax. 1249 01:14:46,173 --> 01:14:48,539 - Uh, Droz. - Yeah? 1250 01:14:48,608 --> 01:14:50,542 - There's my bus. - What? 1251 01:14:50,610 --> 01:14:52,544 - [Gutter] Oh, man. - [Horn Honks] 1252 01:14:52,612 --> 01:14:57,515 Damn! Well, just gonna have to get you next year. 1253 01:14:57,584 --> 01:14:59,313 [Chuckles] 1254 01:15:00,787 --> 01:15:02,721 Don't let him scare you. 1255 01:15:02,789 --> 01:15:04,984 - It's only hurts for a minute. - Check her out. 1256 01:15:05,058 --> 01:15:07,322 Yo, Gut man. Watch the stylings on the youngster. 1257 01:15:10,964 --> 01:15:12,864 Nice. 1258 01:15:15,735 --> 01:15:18,499 - I'll see ya. - [Groaning] 1259 01:15:18,572 --> 01:15:21,837 - In the fall. - Yeah! 1260 01:15:23,510 --> 01:15:25,944 - All right, little half- chunk. - Bye, Tom. 1261 01:15:27,080 --> 01:15:29,241 What? You want it? You want it? 1262 01:15:40,093 --> 01:15:42,061 [Katy] Hey, Cecilia, wait up. 1263 01:15:45,098 --> 01:15:48,534 - Am I interrupting anything? - No. We were just rehearsing. 1264 01:15:48,602 --> 01:15:51,196 - The Nutcracker. - Really? 1265 01:15:51,271 --> 01:15:53,501 Yeah, on ice. 1266 01:15:53,573 --> 01:15:56,508 Should be pretty decent once we get Gutter up on skates. 1267 01:15:56,576 --> 01:16:00,444 - God, I think I'd actually pay to see that. - You would? 1268 01:16:00,514 --> 01:16:02,277 Let's get out of here. 1269 01:16:02,349 --> 01:16:04,943 You and I. Seriously. Just hit the road. 1270 01:16:05,018 --> 01:16:09,921 Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of a cup of coffee. 1271 01:16:09,990 --> 01:16:13,687 - A cup of coffee? - Yeah. 1272 01:16:13,760 --> 01:16:15,694 Let's do that. 1273 01:16:20,300 --> 01:16:23,235 - Hey, let's drive down. - Indeed, driving for coffee. 1274 01:16:23,303 --> 01:16:25,737 We don't have a car. 1275 01:16:25,805 --> 01:16:27,739 I do. For the weekend anyway. 1276 01:16:27,807 --> 01:16:31,243 My aunt loaned me her red BMW convertible. 1277 01:16:31,311 --> 01:16:33,302 Really? 1278 01:16:34,381 --> 01:16:37,316 ****[Rock] 1279 01:16:52,365 --> 01:16:54,458 Aah! 1280 01:17:30,000 --> 01:17:35,000 Eng subs ripped by ..::McLane::..