1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,500 You've been very... 2 00:00:03,005 --> 00:00:06,172 - What did you get? - Blimey! 3 00:00:06,259 --> 00:00:08,714 Well, I never! 4 00:00:08,803 --> 00:00:11,923 Nothing yet. I'm just, you know, deciding. 5 00:00:12,014 --> 00:00:15,218 - It's nice to see you. - It's nice to see you. 6 00:00:16,227 --> 00:00:20,770 This present thing is great. I should've gotten married years ago. 7 00:00:20,857 --> 00:00:23,858 - Anybody get the Pygmy? - The young man thought about it... 8 00:00:25,069 --> 00:00:26,528 No! 9 00:00:26,612 --> 00:00:29,282 Just get me an ashtray. 10 00:00:30,533 --> 00:00:33,154 Are you free for about a half-hour? 11 00:00:33,244 --> 00:00:34,655 Yeah. 12 00:00:34,745 --> 00:00:37,996 I'm meeting my brother, but I can be a bit late. 13 00:00:38,082 --> 00:00:41,498 Oh, good. You have an important decision to make. 14 00:00:41,586 --> 00:00:45,251 - Now, you mustn't laugh. - OK. Right. 15 00:00:52,555 --> 00:00:55,509 What do you think? 16 00:00:57,268 --> 00:00:58,928 Divine. 17 00:00:59,020 --> 00:01:01,890 Bit of a meringue? 18 00:01:03,232 --> 00:01:05,688 Don't worry. We've only just begun. 19 00:01:08,613 --> 00:01:11,104 What do you think? 20 00:01:12,158 --> 00:01:14,613 - You're kidding. - But it would be wonderful. 21 00:01:14,702 --> 00:01:17,323 Maybe next time. 22 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,531 What do you think? 23 00:01:25,463 --> 00:01:28,962 - I knew it. - With a staff, you could look after sheep. 24 00:01:29,342 --> 00:01:30,884 Don't be rude. 25 00:01:31,928 --> 00:01:34,004 It's a bit sexy, this. 26 00:01:35,348 --> 00:01:37,222 Well... 27 00:01:37,308 --> 00:01:40,558 If I were your husband, I would die of pride. 28 00:01:40,645 --> 00:01:42,721 You may be right. It is dangerous. 29 00:01:42,814 --> 00:01:46,763 There's nothing worse at a wedding than a priest with an erection. 30 00:01:52,554 --> 00:01:55,721 It's strange thinking you'll never sleep with anyone else. 31 00:01:55,807 --> 00:02:00,386 - You don't think you'll be unfaithful? - No. Not once l'm married. 32 00:02:00,479 --> 00:02:04,014 I told Hamish l'll kill him if he does, so l'd better stick to that. 33 00:02:04,107 --> 00:02:05,566 Quite right. 34 00:02:05,651 --> 00:02:08,770 Anyway, I reckon l've had my fair run at it. 35 00:02:09,446 --> 00:02:13,064 What is a fair run these days, down your way? 36 00:02:13,158 --> 00:02:15,732 I don't know. 37 00:02:15,827 --> 00:02:17,904 More than one. 38 00:02:17,996 --> 00:02:20,285 Well, come on. Tell me. 39 00:02:21,333 --> 00:02:24,287 I've seen the dress. We have no secrets. 40 00:02:28,340 --> 00:02:30,416 Well... 41 00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:36,674 The first one - of course, not easily forgotten - was kinda nice. 42 00:02:37,850 --> 00:02:40,471 Two... hairy back. 43 00:02:41,854 --> 00:02:47,773 Three, four, five... Six was on my birthday in my parents' room. 44 00:02:48,110 --> 00:02:50,435 - Which birthday? - 17th. 45 00:02:50,529 --> 00:02:53,530 - We've only reached 17? - I grew up in the country. 46 00:02:53,615 --> 00:02:56,237 Lots of rolling around in haystacks. 47 00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:59,905 OK. Seven... 48 00:02:59,997 --> 00:03:03,116 Eight, unfortunately, was quite a shock. 49 00:03:04,209 --> 00:03:08,077 Nine, against a fence. Very uncomfortable. Don't try it. 50 00:03:08,171 --> 00:03:09,203 I won't. 51 00:03:09,298 --> 00:03:12,916 10 was gorgeous. Just heaven, just... 52 00:03:14,303 --> 00:03:17,754 - He was wonderful. - I hate him. 53 00:03:18,891 --> 00:03:21,975 1 1 , obviously after 10, disappointing. 54 00:03:22,060 --> 00:03:26,972 1 2 through 17, the university years. Sensitive, caring, intelligent boys. 55 00:03:27,065 --> 00:03:29,936 Sexually speaking, a real low patch. 56 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,984 18 broke my heart. 57 00:03:34,072 --> 00:03:36,694 - Years of yearning. - I'm sorry. 58 00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:39,950 20... Oh, my God! I can't believe l've reached 20. 59 00:03:41,079 --> 00:03:43,915 21 , elephant tongue. 60 00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:49,207 22 kept falling asleep. That was my first year in England. 61 00:03:49,713 --> 00:03:50,744 I do apologise. 62 00:03:50,839 --> 00:03:53,959 - 23 and 24 together. That was something. - Seriously? 63 00:03:54,051 --> 00:03:56,339 27... That was a mistake. 64 00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:01,421 - Suddenly at 27 you make a mistake? - Yes, he kept screaming. 65 00:04:01,517 --> 00:04:04,720 Very off-putting. I nearly gave up on the whole thing. 66 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:07,563 But Spencer changed my mind. That's 28. 67 00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:10,684 - His father, 29. - With his father? 68 00:04:11,109 --> 00:04:12,769 30. 69 00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:15,897 31 ... Oh, my God. 70 00:04:16,740 --> 00:04:19,943 32 was lovely. 71 00:04:21,411 --> 00:04:24,994 And then my fianc�, that's 33. 72 00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:28,574 Wow! 73 00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:32,287 So I came after your fianc�? 74 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:35,164 No, you were 32. 75 00:04:37,094 --> 00:04:38,921 So there you go. 76 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:42,796 Less than Madonna, more than Princess Di - I hope. 77 00:04:43,392 --> 00:04:45,930 And how about you? How many have you slept with? 78 00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:49,139 Christ! Nothing like that many. I don't know... 79 00:04:49,231 --> 00:04:52,351 I don't know what the fuck l've been doing with my time. 80 00:04:52,442 --> 00:04:56,903 Work, probably. Yeah, work. I have been working late a lot. 81 00:05:04,830 --> 00:05:07,321 I wish l'd rung you. 82 00:05:09,084 --> 00:05:11,575 But then you never rang me. 83 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:16,378 You ruthlessly slept with me twice and never rang me. 84 00:05:21,096 --> 00:05:23,053 Bollocks! 85 00:05:23,140 --> 00:05:25,429 Help me, please! Please! 86 00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:36,315 You're no longer my brother, you're just some git I once met. 87 00:05:36,653 --> 00:05:38,148 I'm sorry. 88 00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:41,156 Carrie, this is David, my brother. 89 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:43,317 This is Carrie. 90 00:05:44,453 --> 00:05:45,864 Hi. 91 00:05:46,538 --> 00:05:48,946 We were buying her a wedding dress. 92 00:05:49,708 --> 00:05:52,033 Pathetic excuse. Who's she marrying? 93 00:05:53,128 --> 00:05:55,085 Some total penis. 94 00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:59,207 What is it about penises that they get such great wives? 95 00:06:00,177 --> 00:06:03,427 I was just telling him about you marrying Hamish 96 00:06:03,514 --> 00:06:07,262 and he said it couldn't have happened to a nicer fellow. 97 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,723 Didn't you do it with her once? 98 00:06:10,812 --> 00:06:13,350 - Where are you doing it? - Scotland. 99 00:06:14,233 --> 00:06:15,941 Yes. 100 00:06:16,235 --> 00:06:18,393 Beautiful breasts. 101 00:06:18,487 --> 00:06:21,523 He says that's a beautiful place. Hilly. 102 00:06:22,574 --> 00:06:24,946 You should come to the wedding, too. 103 00:06:25,035 --> 00:06:30,326 I want lots of friends to make up for the gruesome stiffs that Hamish knows. 104 00:06:31,166 --> 00:06:33,491 Well, you'd better go in. 105 00:06:33,919 --> 00:06:34,950 Bye. 106 00:06:35,379 --> 00:06:37,667 - Bye. - Bye. 107 00:06:42,511 --> 00:06:44,503 Come on - we're late. 108 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:50,051 Fuck it! 109 00:07:02,739 --> 00:07:05,943 Look. Sorry. 110 00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:09,617 I just... Well... This is a really stupid question, 111 00:07:09,705 --> 00:07:12,622 particularly in view of our shopping excursion, 112 00:07:12,708 --> 00:07:16,290 but I just wondered if by any chance... 113 00:07:18,422 --> 00:07:21,707 Obviously not, because l've only slept with nine people. 114 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,125 But l... I just wondered... 115 00:07:24,219 --> 00:07:26,793 I really feel... 116 00:07:26,889 --> 00:07:31,349 In short, to recap in a slightly clearer version, 117 00:07:31,435 --> 00:07:36,097 in the words of David Cassidy, while still with the Partridge Family, 118 00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:39,356 I think I love you. And... 119 00:07:39,443 --> 00:07:44,484 I just wondered whether by any chance you wouldn't like to... 120 00:07:47,492 --> 00:07:50,577 No. No, of course not. 121 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,453 I'm an idiot. He's not. 122 00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:56,664 Excellent. Fantastic. 123 00:07:56,752 --> 00:08:00,121 Lovely to see you. Sorry to disturb. Better get on. 124 00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:03,797 - Fuck! - That was very romantic. 125 00:08:06,970 --> 00:08:11,348 Well, I thought it over a lot, you know. I wanted to get it just right. 126 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:15,763 Important to have said it, I think. 127 00:08:15,854 --> 00:08:18,262 Said what, exactly? 128 00:08:20,192 --> 00:08:26,693 Said, you know, what I just said about David Cassidy. 129 00:08:31,328 --> 00:08:34,163 You're lovely. 130 00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:06,226 One month later 131 00:09:26,341 --> 00:09:31,087 It was ordained for lifelong faithful relationships and conjugal love. 132 00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:34,097 It was ordained for the welfare of human society, 133 00:09:34,183 --> 00:09:36,259 which can be strong and happy 134 00:09:36,351 --> 00:09:39,471 only when the marriage bond is held in honour. 135 00:09:40,439 --> 00:09:45,267 Into this holy estate these two persons now desire to enter. 136 00:09:46,278 --> 00:09:49,362 Wherefore, if anyone can show any just cause 137 00:09:49,448 --> 00:09:53,066 why they may not lawfully be joined together in marriage, 138 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,236 Iet him now declare it. 139 00:09:59,583 --> 00:10:01,326 Sorry. 140 00:10:01,418 --> 00:10:03,494 Please rise. 141 00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:11,417 Do you, Hamish, take this woman Caroline to be your wedded wife 142 00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:15,556 and do you, in the presence of God and before this congregation, 143 00:10:15,641 --> 00:10:20,053 promise and covenant to be to her a loving and faithful husband 144 00:10:20,145 --> 00:10:23,063 until God shall separate you by death? 145 00:10:23,148 --> 00:10:25,188 I do. 146 00:10:25,275 --> 00:10:29,688 Do you, Caroline, take this man Hamish to be your wedded husband 147 00:10:29,780 --> 00:10:33,730 and do you, in the presence of God and before this congregation, 148 00:10:33,825 --> 00:10:37,491 promise and covenant to be to him a loving and faithful wife 149 00:10:37,579 --> 00:10:40,117 until God shall separate you by death? 150 00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:41,322 I do. 151 00:10:43,835 --> 00:10:45,912 Fuck-a-doodle-doo. 152 00:11:11,154 --> 00:11:14,488 - How awfully nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 153 00:11:17,035 --> 00:11:19,111 Hello. 154 00:11:20,706 --> 00:11:23,541 You look beautiful. Not a meringue in sight. 155 00:11:23,625 --> 00:11:25,285 Thanks. 156 00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:33,000 Blimey! 157 00:11:33,802 --> 00:11:36,969 It's Brigadoon! lt's bloody Brigadoon! 158 00:11:47,816 --> 00:11:51,399 Dear old things, as you know, l've always been proud 159 00:11:51,486 --> 00:11:54,902 that there's not a wedding ring between the lot of us. 160 00:11:54,990 --> 00:11:58,655 Over the passing of the years, it's beginning to distress me. 161 00:11:58,744 --> 00:12:02,788 I'd like to go to the wedding of someone I really loved for a change. 162 00:12:02,873 --> 00:12:06,076 Don't blame me. I've asked practically everyone I know. 163 00:12:06,168 --> 00:12:08,920 - You haven't asked me. - Haven't l? 164 00:12:09,004 --> 00:12:12,171 Oh, Scarlett... Would you like to? 165 00:12:12,257 --> 00:12:14,927 No, thank you. It was very nice of you to ask. 166 00:12:15,010 --> 00:12:16,884 Well... Any time. 167 00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:19,971 Quite right, Tom, quite right. That's the spirit. 168 00:12:20,057 --> 00:12:22,974 Tonight, these are your orders. 169 00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:27,223 Go forth and conjugate. Find husbands and wives. 170 00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:30,897 Excellent. What do you think, Fifi? Spot a potential hubby? 171 00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,356 - Bugger off, Tom. - Quite right. 172 00:12:33,445 --> 00:12:36,197 A toast before we go into battle. 173 00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:39,568 True love. 174 00:12:39,660 --> 00:12:42,115 In whatever shape or form it may come. 175 00:12:42,204 --> 00:12:47,495 May we all in our dotage be proud to say 'l was adored once, too.' 176 00:12:48,669 --> 00:12:51,373 - True love. - True love! 177 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:02,764 Apparently, an enormous number of people 178 00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:06,218 actually bump into their future spouses at weddings, 179 00:13:06,311 --> 00:13:08,387 which is interesting. 180 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,054 Yes, I met my husband at a wedding. 181 00:13:19,324 --> 00:13:24,117 Good Lord, I seem to have finished my drink. If you'll excuse me. 182 00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:31,419 Hello. My name's Scarlett. 183 00:13:31,503 --> 00:13:34,587 Named after Scarlett O'Hara, but much less trouble. 184 00:13:34,673 --> 00:13:37,757 - What's your name? - My name's Rhett. 185 00:13:37,843 --> 00:13:39,337 No... 186 00:13:39,428 --> 00:13:41,753 - Not really? - No, not really. 187 00:13:41,847 --> 00:13:44,931 - In fact, it's Chester. - You kidder! 188 00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:49,512 I always imagine Americans are gonna be dull as shit. 189 00:13:49,605 --> 00:13:51,681 Of course you're not, are you? 190 00:13:51,773 --> 00:13:54,478 Steve Martin's American, isn't he? 191 00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:57,275 Yes, he is. 192 00:13:57,362 --> 00:13:59,438 You're lovely. 193 00:14:08,498 --> 00:14:10,990 Hello, Charles. 194 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,706 Oh, Hen. Hi. 195 00:14:13,795 --> 00:14:16,417 Look, I couldn't really bear a scene today. 196 00:14:16,506 --> 00:14:19,377 I know we've probably got tons to talk about... 197 00:14:19,468 --> 00:14:22,303 Did I behave that atrociously last time? 198 00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,967 Well, you remember the shower scene in Psycho? 199 00:14:26,558 --> 00:14:28,634 Scarier. 200 00:14:29,478 --> 00:14:31,601 God, l'm depressed, Hen! How are you? 201 00:14:31,688 --> 00:14:37,027 I'm cheerful. I weigh almost nothing and l've got a divine new boyfriend. 202 00:14:39,321 --> 00:14:41,230 Perhaps we should've got married. 203 00:14:41,323 --> 00:14:46,364 No! l'd have had to marry your friends, and l'm not sure I could take Fiona. 204 00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:48,078 Fiona loves you. 205 00:14:48,163 --> 00:14:52,161 - Fiona calls me Duckface. - Well, I never heard that. 206 00:14:52,251 --> 00:14:55,750 Look, darling, come to lunch soon. Give me a ring. 207 00:14:55,837 --> 00:14:57,914 Still cute. 208 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:04,211 How's Duckface? 209 00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:06,546 Good form, actually. Not too mad. 210 00:15:08,016 --> 00:15:12,643 Ladies and gentlemen, the bride and groom! 211 00:15:50,392 --> 00:15:52,883 You like this girl, don't you? 212 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,431 Yes. 213 00:15:59,860 --> 00:16:01,936 Yes, it's... 214 00:16:02,779 --> 00:16:05,899 It's a strange thing when at last it happens. 215 00:16:05,991 --> 00:16:10,700 And she's marrying someone else. 216 00:16:18,879 --> 00:16:23,173 How about you, Fifi? Have you identified a future partner for life yet? 217 00:16:24,176 --> 00:16:26,252 No need, really. 218 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,926 The deed is done. 219 00:16:30,015 --> 00:16:33,182 I've been in love with the same bloke for ages. 220 00:16:33,894 --> 00:16:36,729 Have you? Who's that? 221 00:16:38,190 --> 00:16:40,681 You, Charlie. 222 00:16:59,002 --> 00:17:01,410 It's always been you. 223 00:17:02,464 --> 00:17:06,841 Since first we met so many years ago. 224 00:17:08,887 --> 00:17:11,212 I knew the first moment. 225 00:17:11,306 --> 00:17:14,307 Across a crowded room. A lawn, in fact. 226 00:17:20,023 --> 00:17:22,312 Doesn't matter. 227 00:17:23,402 --> 00:17:27,150 Nothing either of us can do on this one. Such is life. 228 00:17:31,994 --> 00:17:35,197 Friends isn't bad, you know. 229 00:17:35,289 --> 00:17:37,696 Friends is quite something. 230 00:17:39,543 --> 00:17:41,619 Oh, Fi... 231 00:17:52,598 --> 00:17:55,089 It's not all easy, is it? 232 00:17:55,809 --> 00:17:57,885 No. 233 00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:02,565 Just forget this business. Not to be. 234 00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:08,311 Matthew, darling. 235 00:18:08,405 --> 00:18:11,774 - Where's Gareth? - Torturing Americans. 236 00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:14,781 How thoughtful of him. 237 00:18:17,873 --> 00:18:20,909 Do you actually know Oscar Wilde? 238 00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:23,955 Not personally, no. 239 00:18:24,421 --> 00:18:29,048 But I do know someone who could get his fax number for you. 240 00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,586 Shall we dance? 241 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:19,393 Well? Any rings on fingers? 242 00:19:19,476 --> 00:19:21,683 Gareth, you don't know how lucky you are. 243 00:19:21,770 --> 00:19:24,522 Finding someone to marry is a tricky business. 244 00:19:24,606 --> 00:19:29,352 It's hell out there. Matthew's trapped with an evangelist from Minnesota. 245 00:19:29,444 --> 00:19:31,686 Sweet Jesus, cast out the devil! 246 00:19:32,364 --> 00:19:37,607 My lords, ladies, and gentlemen, please charge your glasses. 247 00:19:37,703 --> 00:19:41,747 First, and rather unusually, we have the bride. 248 00:19:43,584 --> 00:19:46,075 Excellent. I love this girl. 249 00:19:46,879 --> 00:19:48,955 Thank you. 250 00:19:49,047 --> 00:19:54,042 First of all, l'd like to thank all of you who've flown in from the States. 251 00:19:54,595 --> 00:19:59,303 As for the rest of you, l'd have thought that lots of frightful Americans flying in 252 00:19:59,391 --> 00:20:02,594 was an excuse for staying away. So I thank you, too. 253 00:20:06,607 --> 00:20:11,315 If my darling dad had been here today, he would have been speaking now, 254 00:20:11,403 --> 00:20:13,561 and I know what he would have said: 255 00:20:13,655 --> 00:20:19,694 'Great dress, babe, but why in the hell are you marrying the stiff in the skirt?' 256 00:20:22,164 --> 00:20:26,208 And I would have given him the same answer that I give you: 257 00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:28,369 'Because I love him.' 258 00:20:28,462 --> 00:20:32,080 As John Lennon said, who died the same year as my dad, 259 00:20:32,174 --> 00:20:36,041 'Love is the answer, and you know that for sure.' 260 00:20:41,266 --> 00:20:43,936 And one more thing. 261 00:20:44,019 --> 00:20:48,480 Someone told me here that, if things with Hamish didn't work out, he would step in. 262 00:20:48,565 --> 00:20:52,017 I just wanted to say thanks, and l'll keep you posted. 263 00:20:56,907 --> 00:20:57,938 Bravo! 264 00:20:58,033 --> 00:21:01,983 Now, my lords, ladies, and gentlemen, Sir Hamish Banks. 265 00:21:08,502 --> 00:21:11,289 Anyone involved in politics for the last 20 years 266 00:21:11,380 --> 00:21:14,583 has got used to being upstaged by a woman. 267 00:21:15,926 --> 00:21:19,176 I didn't expect it to happen to me on my wedding day. 268 00:21:19,263 --> 00:21:23,212 However, I must also say that l'm quite happy 269 00:21:23,308 --> 00:21:27,092 to be upstaged by this woman for the rest of my life. 270 00:21:27,187 --> 00:21:31,600 Is that some barracking at the back? We politicians are used to that. 271 00:21:31,775 --> 00:21:34,729 - Shit! Find a doctor! - Right. OK. 272 00:21:34,820 --> 00:21:37,690 First of all, my compliments to the bridesmaids. 273 00:21:37,781 --> 00:21:40,189 You did your duties superbly. 274 00:21:40,284 --> 00:21:44,780 And obviously I intend to use you every time I get married from now on. 275 00:21:50,794 --> 00:21:54,662 I want to thank all those wonderful ladies of the parish 276 00:21:54,756 --> 00:21:56,998 who did the flowers in the church. 277 00:21:57,092 --> 00:22:01,339 The stern old building took on a look of flushed youth today. 278 00:22:09,771 --> 00:22:13,472 I remember the first time I laid eyes on Caroline. 279 00:22:13,567 --> 00:22:18,443 I thought to myself: 'lf by any chance she's short-sighted, 280 00:22:18,530 --> 00:22:21,982 I might just be happy for the rest of my life.' 281 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:26,077 I thought I could see my future for the first time. 282 00:22:26,163 --> 00:22:31,619 It was a joyful one, for years and years to come. 283 00:24:02,968 --> 00:24:07,345 Good morning, and a warm welcome to you all on this cold day. 284 00:24:07,764 --> 00:24:10,469 Our service will begin in a few minutes. 285 00:24:10,559 --> 00:24:15,221 But first we have asked Matthew, Gareth's closest friend, 286 00:24:15,314 --> 00:24:18,018 to say a few words. 287 00:24:26,450 --> 00:24:29,700 Gareth used to prefer funerals to weddings. 288 00:24:29,786 --> 00:24:32,622 He said it was easier to get enthusiastic 289 00:24:32,706 --> 00:24:37,748 about a ceremony one had an outside chance of eventually being involved in. 290 00:24:39,546 --> 00:24:42,796 In order to prepare this speech, I rang a few people 291 00:24:42,883 --> 00:24:47,628 to get a general picture of how Gareth was regarded by those who met him. 292 00:24:49,097 --> 00:24:53,142 'Fat' seems to have been a word people most connected with him. 293 00:24:55,229 --> 00:24:58,348 'Terribly rude' also rang a lot of bells. 294 00:24:59,942 --> 00:25:05,980 So 'very fat' and 'very rude' seems to have been the stranger's viewpoint. 295 00:25:06,073 --> 00:25:09,905 But some of you have rung me and let me know that you loved him, 296 00:25:10,118 --> 00:25:13,701 which I know he would have been thrilled to hear. 297 00:25:13,789 --> 00:25:19,210 You remember his fabulous hospitality, his strange experimental cooking. 298 00:25:21,505 --> 00:25:26,416 The recipe for duck � la banana fortunately goes with him to his grave. 299 00:25:27,928 --> 00:25:33,171 Most of all, you tell me of his enormous capacity for joy. 300 00:25:33,308 --> 00:25:38,647 And, when joyful, for highly vocal drunkenness. 301 00:25:41,942 --> 00:25:45,275 I hope joyful is how you will remember him. 302 00:25:47,364 --> 00:25:50,282 Not stuck in a box in a church. 303 00:25:53,328 --> 00:25:57,871 Pick your favourite of his waistcoats and remember him that way. 304 00:25:57,958 --> 00:26:01,872 The most splendid, replete, 305 00:26:03,046 --> 00:26:06,166 big-hearted 306 00:26:06,717 --> 00:26:09,421 - weak-hearted, as it turned out - 307 00:26:09,511 --> 00:26:12,631 and jolly bugger most of us ever met. 308 00:26:15,642 --> 00:26:18,928 As for me, you may ask how I will remember him. 309 00:26:20,397 --> 00:26:22,888 What I thought of him. 310 00:26:26,987 --> 00:26:30,023 Unfortunately, there I run out of words. 311 00:26:33,327 --> 00:26:35,615 Forgive me if I turn from my own feelings 312 00:26:35,704 --> 00:26:41,078 to the words of another splendid bugger, WH Auden. 313 00:26:41,835 --> 00:26:44,504 This is actually what I want to say: 314 00:26:47,716 --> 00:26:51,251 Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, 315 00:26:53,013 --> 00:26:56,347 Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, 316 00:26:58,393 --> 00:27:01,679 Silence the pianos and with muffled drum 317 00:27:01,772 --> 00:27:06,315 Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come. 318 00:27:07,945 --> 00:27:10,696 Let the aeroplanes circle moaning overhead 319 00:27:10,781 --> 00:27:15,075 Scribbling on the sky the message He ls Dead. 320 00:27:17,079 --> 00:27:20,744 Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, 321 00:27:22,876 --> 00:27:26,328 Let traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves. 322 00:27:28,006 --> 00:27:32,170 He was my North, my South, my East and West. 323 00:27:33,679 --> 00:27:37,048 My working week and my Sunday rest, 324 00:27:38,684 --> 00:27:42,812 My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; 325 00:27:45,524 --> 00:27:48,774 I thought that love would last for ever: 326 00:27:49,695 --> 00:27:51,983 I was wrong. 327 00:27:55,284 --> 00:27:57,572 The stars are not wanted now: 328 00:27:58,996 --> 00:28:01,487 Put out every one; 329 00:28:02,708 --> 00:28:05,744 Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; 330 00:28:08,463 --> 00:28:11,381 Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood; 331 00:28:13,260 --> 00:28:16,676 For nothing now can ever come to any good. 332 00:28:53,675 --> 00:28:58,503 It was good of you to come. Must have been the shortest honeymoon in history. 333 00:28:58,597 --> 00:29:01,135 No, it's fine. We'll do it some other time. 334 00:29:06,146 --> 00:29:08,435 You know, what you said in the street... 335 00:29:08,524 --> 00:29:11,939 - Yes, l'm sorry about that. - No, I liked it. 336 00:29:12,027 --> 00:29:14,814 I liked you saying it. 337 00:29:25,249 --> 00:29:28,368 Charlie, l'll take Scarlett home, all right? 338 00:29:29,753 --> 00:29:31,829 Darling Fi. 339 00:29:40,180 --> 00:29:42,007 Walk, Charlie? 340 00:29:42,099 --> 00:29:44,804 Yeah. Yeah, that would be grand. 341 00:29:48,313 --> 00:29:51,978 Never felt like that. I mean, something vaguely similar, 342 00:29:52,067 --> 00:29:54,938 for Jilly, when I was young. 343 00:29:55,028 --> 00:29:56,938 Jilly? 344 00:29:57,030 --> 00:29:59,106 Labrador. 345 00:30:00,450 --> 00:30:02,906 Yes, it's odd, isn't it? 346 00:30:02,995 --> 00:30:05,568 All these years we've been single and proud of it 347 00:30:05,664 --> 00:30:10,492 and never noticed that two of us were, in effect, married all this time. 348 00:30:10,586 --> 00:30:12,993 Traitors in our midst. 349 00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:20,845 You know, I think death is hardest for the parents, don't you? 350 00:30:20,929 --> 00:30:23,337 I hope I die before my children. 351 00:30:23,432 --> 00:30:24,843 Tom... 352 00:30:24,933 --> 00:30:27,934 There's one thing I find really... 353 00:30:31,106 --> 00:30:35,020 Well... It's your total confidence that you will get married. 354 00:30:35,110 --> 00:30:39,190 I mean, what if you never find the right girl? 355 00:30:39,281 --> 00:30:40,312 Sorry? 356 00:30:40,407 --> 00:30:43,906 Surely, if that service shows anything, 357 00:30:43,994 --> 00:30:47,328 it shows that there is such a thing as a perfect match. 358 00:30:47,414 --> 00:30:52,539 If we can't be like Gareth and Matthew, then maybe we should just let it go. 359 00:30:53,337 --> 00:30:55,958 Some of us are not gonna get married. 360 00:30:56,048 --> 00:30:58,539 Well, I don't know, Charlie. 361 00:30:59,343 --> 00:31:04,088 The truth is, unlike you, I never expected the thunderbolt. 362 00:31:05,098 --> 00:31:08,882 I always just hoped that l'd meet some nice, friendly girl, 363 00:31:08,977 --> 00:31:13,805 Iike the look of her, hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, 364 00:31:13,899 --> 00:31:18,561 then pop the question and settle down and be happy. 365 00:31:20,113 --> 00:31:23,945 It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce... 366 00:31:24,284 --> 00:31:27,451 I'll give you six months at the outside, Tom. 367 00:31:28,455 --> 00:31:30,946 Yeah, maybe you're right. 368 00:31:31,500 --> 00:31:38,249 Maybe all this waiting for one true love stuff gets you nowhere. 369 00:31:55,232 --> 00:31:58,517 What the fuck is going on? 370 00:32:01,822 --> 00:32:05,689 I thought we'd better make absolutely sure we weren't late. 371 00:32:06,285 --> 00:32:07,993 Excellent wedding hairstyle. 372 00:32:10,289 --> 00:32:11,699 Ten months later 373 00:32:11,790 --> 00:32:15,408 Matthew. The best-looking best man in the world. 374 00:32:16,044 --> 00:32:20,374 Listen. Thank you for doing this today. 375 00:32:20,465 --> 00:32:22,754 Of course. 376 00:32:25,053 --> 00:32:28,090 I wish Gareth was here. 377 00:32:28,182 --> 00:32:30,470 Bet he does, too. 378 00:32:32,978 --> 00:32:36,596 I'm sorry we're so late. The others are just parking the car. 379 00:32:36,690 --> 00:32:38,766 I thought we'd all go with Tom. 380 00:32:38,859 --> 00:32:42,726 - Late? So late? - Yeah. It's 9.45. 381 00:32:42,821 --> 00:32:47,400 - 9.45? - Yep. 45 minutes till 'l do'. 382 00:32:47,492 --> 00:32:51,111 Oh, bloody Tom! I told him to set the alarm for eight! 383 00:32:51,205 --> 00:32:53,281 Fuck it! Fuck! 384 00:32:57,544 --> 00:33:00,379 - Scarlett. - Hi! 385 00:33:00,464 --> 00:33:03,999 - You ready? - Absolutely. Give me 20 seconds. 386 00:33:13,894 --> 00:33:15,518 - Time. - Honestly? 387 00:33:15,604 --> 00:33:16,719 Yes! Time! 388 00:33:16,813 --> 00:33:18,853 It's about ten to nine. 389 00:33:37,125 --> 00:33:39,201 Bastards. 390 00:33:41,463 --> 00:33:44,250 Jessica, stop jumping up and down, please. 391 00:33:47,844 --> 00:33:50,514 One, two, three, smile! 392 00:33:53,684 --> 00:33:58,476 - This is splendid tuck. - Yes, I think I might say a little word. 393 00:33:58,564 --> 00:34:03,356 As you know, l've been a close observer of Charles's love life for many years. 394 00:34:03,443 --> 00:34:08,485 But recently l'd started to despair and fear that really he was married to us, 395 00:34:08,574 --> 00:34:12,986 - except that we won't have his babies. - I don't know about that. 396 00:34:13,078 --> 00:34:16,696 But it's all turned out splendidly. The girl is sadly crazy, 397 00:34:16,957 --> 00:34:18,996 but perhaps that's why he loves her. 398 00:34:19,084 --> 00:34:24,042 I'd like to propose a toast to my Charlie and his beautiful girl on this tragic day. 399 00:34:24,131 --> 00:34:27,831 - So, be happy and don't forget us. - Thank you. 400 00:34:27,926 --> 00:34:31,841 - To Charles and Duckface. - Charles and Duckface! 401 00:34:38,061 --> 00:34:40,469 - What do you think? - You look divine. 402 00:34:40,564 --> 00:34:43,102 It does work, doesn't it? Yes. 403 00:34:46,153 --> 00:34:50,316 I'd like to thank Fiona for those charming words about my future wife. 404 00:34:50,407 --> 00:34:54,619 I'd like to take this opportunity to read a message from her to you all. 405 00:34:54,703 --> 00:34:56,411 This is exciting. 406 00:34:56,496 --> 00:35:00,660 She says 'Any of you come near the house, l'll set the dogs on you.' 407 00:35:00,751 --> 00:35:03,538 I think that's a nice touch. 408 00:35:03,629 --> 00:35:05,621 Sweet! 409 00:35:05,714 --> 00:35:08,205 'Set the dogs on you'! 410 00:35:09,551 --> 00:35:11,793 John, hi. 411 00:35:11,887 --> 00:35:13,926 - John, you made it. - Yes. 412 00:35:14,014 --> 00:35:17,846 I hope me damn sister turns up. Not much of a wedding without a bride. 413 00:35:17,935 --> 00:35:19,595 Tom! 414 00:35:20,395 --> 00:35:22,851 Bit of a poor show you not having a stag night. 415 00:35:22,940 --> 00:35:28,361 We did! We did... We didn't think it was a very good idea in this day and age. 416 00:35:28,445 --> 00:35:30,521 Really? 417 00:35:50,259 --> 00:35:52,797 Fi, you do look lovely today. 418 00:35:52,886 --> 00:35:58,260 - I've abandoned my traditional black. - Yes, so you have. 419 00:35:58,350 --> 00:36:01,268 From now on, I shall be all the colours of the rainbow 420 00:36:01,353 --> 00:36:05,647 and fall in love with someone who fancies me for a change. 421 00:36:05,732 --> 00:36:07,808 Darling Fi! 422 00:36:14,950 --> 00:36:16,658 - Look. - What? 423 00:36:16,743 --> 00:36:19,614 Lipstick everywhere. That won't do at all. 424 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,076 - Hi. - Hi. 425 00:36:41,268 --> 00:36:43,344 Good luck. 426 00:36:48,442 --> 00:36:50,980 Hello. Glad you could come. 427 00:36:52,487 --> 00:36:54,729 Groom's on the right. Bride's on the left. 428 00:36:58,452 --> 00:37:02,152 - Groom on the right. Bride on the left. - Oh, my God! 429 00:37:06,418 --> 00:37:09,205 I thought you'd gone back to Texas. 430 00:37:09,296 --> 00:37:11,454 Without you, never. 431 00:37:15,886 --> 00:37:17,962 Good luck. 432 00:37:21,725 --> 00:37:23,801 Bride or groom? 433 00:37:26,063 --> 00:37:28,139 Bride or groom? 434 00:37:28,357 --> 00:37:33,019 It should be perfectly obvious l'm neither. Great God! 435 00:37:34,112 --> 00:37:36,817 - Bride or groom? - Bride. 436 00:37:46,917 --> 00:37:49,040 Yes... 437 00:37:49,127 --> 00:37:50,835 I'm fine. 438 00:37:53,465 --> 00:37:55,921 I've a feeling we've met before. 439 00:37:56,009 --> 00:37:58,963 We have. About 25 years ago. 440 00:37:59,721 --> 00:38:03,256 I'm second cousin Harold's daughter Deirdre. You're Tom. 441 00:38:03,350 --> 00:38:05,010 Good Lord! 442 00:38:05,102 --> 00:38:07,557 - So, you're family. - Yes. 443 00:38:08,397 --> 00:38:12,560 - Only very distant. - Well, yes, of course. 444 00:38:14,111 --> 00:38:17,361 You said you were bride? 445 00:38:17,447 --> 00:38:18,776 Yes. 446 00:38:18,866 --> 00:38:20,942 Well, do sit. 447 00:38:21,326 --> 00:38:23,817 Do sit here, Deirdre. 448 00:38:28,166 --> 00:38:30,243 Golly! 449 00:38:30,836 --> 00:38:32,663 Thunderbolt city. 450 00:38:33,714 --> 00:38:36,252 - Hello, Matthew. - Nice to see you. 451 00:38:36,341 --> 00:38:39,295 - Hello, Charles. - Bernard. How are you? 452 00:38:39,386 --> 00:38:42,091 - Exhausted, actually. - Oh, bunny! 453 00:38:42,181 --> 00:38:44,257 - Charles. - Hello, Lyd. 454 00:38:49,938 --> 00:38:52,014 - Hi. - Hi. 455 00:38:53,734 --> 00:38:57,981 You look lovely. But then I always did like you dressed for weddings. 456 00:38:58,363 --> 00:39:02,028 - And on time. - Yeah. Extraordinary thing, isn't it? 457 00:39:02,242 --> 00:39:06,988 - How's Hamish? - He's fine... I believe. 458 00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,453 - You believe? - Well, yes. 459 00:39:09,541 --> 00:39:12,328 He wasn't the man for me after all. 460 00:39:14,963 --> 00:39:17,917 - You left him? - We left each other. 461 00:39:20,802 --> 00:39:24,847 - When? - A few months now. 462 00:39:24,932 --> 00:39:28,550 March was hell. By April, it was sordid. 463 00:39:28,644 --> 00:39:32,772 That's the last time I marry someone three times my age. 464 00:39:32,856 --> 00:39:35,561 Charles, time to travel. 465 00:39:35,651 --> 00:39:37,727 Yeah. 466 00:39:39,488 --> 00:39:41,813 Coming. Good. 467 00:39:45,035 --> 00:39:49,780 - So why didn't you get in touch, then? - I did think about it. 468 00:39:49,873 --> 00:39:54,120 I wanted to, but I was in a state. 469 00:39:55,629 --> 00:39:58,500 So, anyway, I don't want to keep you. 470 00:39:59,925 --> 00:40:02,463 And l'll see you afterwards. 471 00:40:02,553 --> 00:40:04,379 Yeah. Fine. 472 00:40:04,471 --> 00:40:06,547 Wait. 473 00:40:11,061 --> 00:40:13,137 I'll show you to your seat. 474 00:40:14,940 --> 00:40:17,431 Just showing her to her seat. 475 00:40:29,955 --> 00:40:32,624 Our timing's been really bad, hasn't it? 476 00:40:32,708 --> 00:40:35,246 It's been bad, yes. 477 00:40:35,335 --> 00:40:37,624 It's been a disaster. 478 00:40:37,713 --> 00:40:42,505 It has, as you say, been very bad indeed. 479 00:40:47,222 --> 00:40:49,927 God, it's lovely to see you. 480 00:40:52,144 --> 00:40:54,469 Well, good luck. 481 00:40:54,563 --> 00:40:59,902 It's pretty easy. Just say 'l do' whenever anyone asks you a question. 482 00:41:08,869 --> 00:41:11,704 Could you just give me a sec, Matthew? 483 00:41:11,788 --> 00:41:15,039 Yes, of course. Freshen up at will. 484 00:41:34,186 --> 00:41:36,262 Dear Lord, 485 00:41:36,355 --> 00:41:42,108 forgive me for what l'm about to say 486 00:41:42,194 --> 00:41:46,820 in this magnificent place of worship. 487 00:41:46,907 --> 00:41:48,781 Bugger! 488 00:41:50,077 --> 00:41:52,153 Bugger! 489 00:41:58,544 --> 00:42:00,750 Can I help at all? 490 00:42:01,630 --> 00:42:03,872 No. Thanks. 491 00:42:03,966 --> 00:42:05,211 Sorry. 492 00:42:06,510 --> 00:42:09,131 Vocal exercises. Big church. 493 00:42:09,221 --> 00:42:11,842 Excellent. Often do the same myself. 494 00:42:11,932 --> 00:42:17,009 Not exactly the same vocab, obviously. Rather more alleluias. 495 00:42:17,104 --> 00:42:19,393 I'll leave you. 496 00:42:37,416 --> 00:42:39,574 - Bride's arriving. - Fabulous! 497 00:42:39,668 --> 00:42:42,159 We seem to have lost the groom. 498 00:42:42,713 --> 00:42:46,793 - Stall her and l'll see if I can find him. - Roger. Wilco. 499 00:42:54,183 --> 00:42:56,259 Charles. 500 00:42:57,603 --> 00:43:00,094 It's good to see you. 501 00:43:02,274 --> 00:43:04,682 Yeah. 502 00:43:06,486 --> 00:43:09,772 Matt, what do we think about marriage? 503 00:43:10,657 --> 00:43:13,943 Well... Gosh! 504 00:43:14,036 --> 00:43:19,030 Well, I think it's really good, if you love the person with all your heart. 505 00:43:20,417 --> 00:43:23,751 Well, exactly. Quite. 506 00:43:27,174 --> 00:43:31,172 All these weddings. All these years. 507 00:43:32,596 --> 00:43:35,846 All that blasted salmon and champagne. 508 00:43:35,933 --> 00:43:42,101 Here I am on my own wedding day and l'm still thinking. 509 00:43:42,814 --> 00:43:45,103 Can I ask about what? 510 00:43:47,945 --> 00:43:49,937 No. 511 00:43:50,030 --> 00:43:52,106 No, I think best not. 512 00:43:52,783 --> 00:43:56,152 I'm sorry, there's a delay. A problem with the flowers. 513 00:43:56,411 --> 00:43:57,526 Flowers? 514 00:43:57,621 --> 00:44:01,619 There seems to be a staggeringly high proportion of hay fever sufferers 515 00:44:01,708 --> 00:44:06,833 and they're right next to the flowers, so we're moving the congregation. 516 00:44:06,922 --> 00:44:09,330 Don't want the vows obliterated by sneezing. 517 00:44:09,424 --> 00:44:13,885 Charles, would it be out of place for me to say that time is ticking by? 518 00:44:16,014 --> 00:44:18,090 What's happening? Tell me. 519 00:44:22,729 --> 00:44:24,603 Oh, God. 520 00:44:25,482 --> 00:44:28,483 I just saw Carrie... and she's separated. 521 00:44:29,528 --> 00:44:31,900 Charles. It's your wedding day. 522 00:44:39,705 --> 00:44:41,578 I've fooled them so far. 523 00:44:41,665 --> 00:44:44,868 When people think you're stupid, they're less suspicious. 524 00:44:45,085 --> 00:44:46,876 What's your advice? 525 00:44:47,462 --> 00:44:50,167 You've got three choices: one - go ahead with it. 526 00:44:52,426 --> 00:44:55,177 Two - go outside and say 'Sorry, folks, it's all off!' 527 00:44:56,013 --> 00:44:58,052 Not tempting. Next? 528 00:44:59,266 --> 00:45:01,009 Third... 529 00:45:03,061 --> 00:45:05,184 I can't think of a third. 530 00:45:08,233 --> 00:45:10,522 Hello. 531 00:45:10,611 --> 00:45:12,271 Here you are! 532 00:45:12,362 --> 00:45:14,604 Ready to face the enemy? 533 00:45:16,366 --> 00:45:18,442 Are we? 534 00:45:21,914 --> 00:45:23,990 Yes. 535 00:45:25,375 --> 00:45:27,451 Excellent. 536 00:46:21,765 --> 00:46:23,841 Not so tight, Dad. 537 00:46:52,546 --> 00:46:57,089 Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God 538 00:46:57,175 --> 00:46:59,797 and in the face of this congregation 539 00:46:59,887 --> 00:47:03,421 to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, 540 00:47:03,515 --> 00:47:09,269 which is an honourable estate, instituted of God in the time of man's innocence, 541 00:47:09,354 --> 00:47:14,894 signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church 542 00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:18,480 and therefore is not by any to be enterprised 543 00:47:18,572 --> 00:47:22,404 nor taken in hand unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, 544 00:47:22,492 --> 00:47:25,908 but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, 545 00:47:25,996 --> 00:47:27,538 soberly, 546 00:47:27,623 --> 00:47:29,699 and in the fear of God. 547 00:47:30,417 --> 00:47:33,122 Therefore, if any man can show any just cause 548 00:47:33,212 --> 00:47:35,916 why they may not lawfully be joined together, 549 00:47:36,006 --> 00:47:40,467 Iet him speak now or else hereafter for ever hold his peace. 550 00:47:45,557 --> 00:47:49,222 I'm sorry. Does someone have something to say? 551 00:47:55,234 --> 00:47:57,522 Yes? What is it? 552 00:47:59,488 --> 00:48:01,065 One second. 553 00:48:01,156 --> 00:48:02,734 What's going on? 554 00:48:04,451 --> 00:48:06,610 I thought of a third option. 555 00:48:08,163 --> 00:48:10,203 What? 556 00:48:10,624 --> 00:48:13,329 Will you translate? 557 00:48:13,627 --> 00:48:16,035 Translate what? 558 00:48:16,129 --> 00:48:19,748 He wants me to translate what he's saying. 559 00:48:19,841 --> 00:48:21,715 What is he saying? 560 00:48:21,802 --> 00:48:24,174 I think the groom is having doubts... 561 00:48:24,263 --> 00:48:27,632 He says 'l suspect the groom is having doubts.' 562 00:48:27,975 --> 00:48:30,181 'l suspect the groom would like to delay.' 563 00:48:30,519 --> 00:48:32,179 I think the groom really loves someone else. 564 00:48:32,396 --> 00:48:34,353 That's true, isn't it, Charles? 565 00:48:34,898 --> 00:48:36,772 'l suspect the groom...' 566 00:48:36,859 --> 00:48:39,694 Because, Charlie - this is for the rest of your life. 567 00:48:41,321 --> 00:48:45,401 Finally, you've got to marry the person you love with your whole heart. 568 00:48:46,076 --> 00:48:48,401 And by the way - your flies are undone. 569 00:48:48,954 --> 00:48:51,030 What's he saying? 570 00:48:53,667 --> 00:48:56,075 He says 571 00:48:56,169 --> 00:49:00,333 he suspects the groom loves someone else. 572 00:49:02,509 --> 00:49:04,051 Do you? 573 00:49:04,136 --> 00:49:07,006 Do you love someone else? Do you, Charles? 574 00:49:18,775 --> 00:49:20,519 I do. 575 00:49:26,408 --> 00:49:28,484 Get out of my way! Let me kill him! 576 00:49:38,795 --> 00:49:40,871 Blimey! 577 00:49:42,382 --> 00:49:44,755 At least it's one we won't forget. 578 00:49:44,843 --> 00:49:47,844 A lot of weddings just blend into each other. 579 00:49:47,930 --> 00:49:51,630 - For God's sake! - This one will stick out in the memory. 580 00:49:51,725 --> 00:49:54,643 For not actually including a wedding service. 581 00:49:54,728 --> 00:49:57,433 Poor girl. No, I mean it. Poor girl. 582 00:49:57,523 --> 00:50:01,734 She's not my favourite person, but I think what you did today was unforgivable. 583 00:50:01,818 --> 00:50:04,226 I can't bear to think about it. 584 00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:06,822 Poor Hen. 585 00:50:06,907 --> 00:50:10,442 - Though let's face facts. - I'm sorry. 586 00:50:10,536 --> 00:50:14,403 If you weren't sure you wanted to marry her today of all days, 587 00:50:14,498 --> 00:50:17,701 i.e., your wedding day, 588 00:50:17,793 --> 00:50:21,376 then it must be the right decision, mustn't it? 589 00:50:22,130 --> 00:50:23,210 Quite right. 590 00:50:23,298 --> 00:50:27,462 It was a lovely dress. I'm sure she'll find it useful for parties. 591 00:50:31,098 --> 00:50:34,965 - What did he say, Charles? - Says he blames himself. 592 00:50:35,060 --> 00:50:37,765 - Absolutely not. - No, you mustn't, David. 593 00:50:38,856 --> 00:50:41,014 They all blame you too. 594 00:50:41,108 --> 00:50:44,643 - It's OK. - No, no. If there's music to be faced, 595 00:50:44,736 --> 00:50:47,227 I should be facing it. 596 00:50:55,998 --> 00:50:58,037 Hello. 597 00:50:58,125 --> 00:51:01,209 - Hi! You're soaking. Come in. - No, l'm fine. 598 00:51:01,295 --> 00:51:03,536 Comes a point when you can't get wetter. 599 00:51:03,630 --> 00:51:06,584 - OK, l'll come out. - No, please don't. I... 600 00:51:06,675 --> 00:51:09,344 I just wanted to check you're OK. 601 00:51:09,428 --> 00:51:12,927 Not busy killing yourself or anything, but... 602 00:51:14,433 --> 00:51:16,924 But you're fine, so... 603 00:51:18,645 --> 00:51:22,513 I shouldn't have come to the church this morning. I'm sorry. 604 00:51:23,275 --> 00:51:25,351 No! 605 00:51:25,944 --> 00:51:30,405 Wait. It was all my fault. I mean, l'm the bastard here. 606 00:51:31,950 --> 00:51:34,026 And it sorted out one thing. 607 00:51:34,119 --> 00:51:38,496 Marriage and me were very clearly not meant for one another. 608 00:51:38,582 --> 00:51:40,658 It sorted out another big thing, too. 609 00:51:40,751 --> 00:51:43,752 There I was, standing there in the church, 610 00:51:43,837 --> 00:51:47,289 and for the first time in my whole life I realised I 611 00:51:47,382 --> 00:51:50,882 totally and utterly loved one person. 612 00:51:50,969 --> 00:51:53,507 And it wasn't the person next to me in the veil. 613 00:51:53,597 --> 00:51:57,297 It's the person standing opposite me now 614 00:51:59,394 --> 00:52:00,853 in the rain. 615 00:52:00,938 --> 00:52:03,725 Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed. 616 00:52:03,815 --> 00:52:08,608 The truth of it is, l've loved you from the first second I met you. 617 00:52:09,571 --> 00:52:15,574 - Not going away again, are you? - No. I might drown. But otherwise, no. 618 00:52:15,661 --> 00:52:18,234 OK. OK. We'll go in. 619 00:52:21,333 --> 00:52:23,906 But first let me ask you one thing. 620 00:52:25,963 --> 00:52:29,628 Do you think, after we've dried off, 621 00:52:30,092 --> 00:52:34,670 after we've spent lots more time together, you might agree 622 00:52:36,431 --> 00:52:38,804 not to marry me? 623 00:52:38,892 --> 00:52:41,644 And do you think 624 00:52:41,728 --> 00:52:46,853 not being married to me might maybe be something you could consider 625 00:52:46,942 --> 00:52:49,515 doing for the rest of your life? 626 00:52:54,408 --> 00:52:56,899 Do you? 627 00:52:58,495 --> 00:53:00,784 I do. 628 00:57:26,930 --> 00:57:29,967 Subtitles by Visiontext