1 00:00:12,086 --> 00:00:16,113 Ijust hope it doesn't cause any permanent damage. 2 00:00:21,496 --> 00:00:25,728 -How long have you been here, anyway? -A while. 3 00:00:27,602 --> 00:00:30,435 -You missed yourprom? -Yeah. 4 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:39,847 The thing is, when I made that bet-- 5 00:00:40,348 --> 00:00:44,512 There he is. It's Freddie. He's wearing a tux. 6 00:00:44,719 --> 00:00:48,519 What's up? I met a whole other person inside ofyou. 7 00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:53,124 There's a whole otherperson inside ofboth of us. 8 00:01:17,986 --> 00:01:20,454 Would the whole otherperson... 9 00:01:21,789 --> 00:01:23,723 ...like to dance? 10 00:01:25,827 --> 00:01:27,522 Yes. 11 00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:31,121 -Morning, sweetie! -Daddy! 12 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:34,162 -Why are you in here? -Why am I in here? 13 00:01:34,402 --> 00:01:36,336 It's her birthday, Dad. 14 00:01:36,537 --> 00:01:39,199 Happy birthday, sweetie. 15 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:46,709 -What's that buzzing sound? -I just need a minute, here. 16 00:01:46,914 --> 00:01:48,882 Maybe it's that construction. 17 00:01:49,183 --> 00:01:51,344 Where's my little angel? 18 00:01:51,552 --> 00:01:53,179 Happy birthday, honey. 19 00:01:53,421 --> 00:01:54,615 Grandma? Grandpa? 20 00:01:54,822 --> 00:01:56,255 Rosco! 21 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,585 Rosco, go. 22 00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:04,457 -Hello. -Father O'Flannagan? 23 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:07,897 I brought your special friends from the center! 24 00:02:08,102 --> 00:02:10,627 -Happy birthday! -Janey's making faces. 25 00:02:10,838 --> 00:02:12,669 It smells in here. 26 00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:14,907 Okay, make a wish, dear. 27 00:02:15,877 --> 00:02:17,071 No. 28 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:47,073 This isn't a typical high school. 29 00:02:47,275 --> 00:02:51,905 At John Hughes, there are no cliques, no exclusive social groups. 30 00:02:52,113 --> 00:02:55,571 You're accepted for you, not who you hang out with. 31 00:02:55,783 --> 00:02:59,947 We'll divide into groups so you can get to know your peers. 32 00:03:00,154 --> 00:03:03,453 Let's get all you jocks in one group... 33 00:03:03,658 --> 00:03:07,185 ...and get you slutty girls over here by me. 34 00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:09,659 Hey, how you doing? Welcome. 35 00:03:09,864 --> 00:03:12,697 You losers should hang out in the back. 36 00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:16,461 That clearly includes you. Come on, get back there. 37 00:03:16,671 --> 00:03:19,469 Take a look at the kid standing beside you. 38 00:03:21,676 --> 00:03:24,736 They're your only friends for the next four years. 39 00:03:24,946 --> 00:03:27,210 Okay, let's move it, people! 40 00:03:37,191 --> 00:03:41,560 -You need to start dating. -I don't date. You know that. 41 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,594 Janey, you know Dad's rule. 42 00:03:43,798 --> 00:03:45,663 I can't have sex before you. 43 00:03:45,867 --> 00:03:49,098 I don't conform to typical high-school norms. 44 00:03:49,303 --> 00:03:53,672 I read Sylvia Plath, listen to Bikini Kill and eat tofu. 45 00:03:53,875 --> 00:03:57,333 -I'm a unique rebel. -More like you're a lesbo. 46 00:03:57,545 --> 00:03:59,979 Mitch, leave your sister alone. 47 00:04:00,181 --> 00:04:01,580 Thank you, Daddy. 48 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:06,186 If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher, that's her decision. 49 00:04:08,189 --> 00:04:10,521 Go! Fight! Win! 50 00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:19,060 Nice combination, Crissy! 51 00:04:24,205 --> 00:04:27,197 I've been meaning to get that fixed. 52 00:04:27,608 --> 00:04:29,235 Later, Dad. 53 00:04:31,212 --> 00:04:33,339 I'll be late to pick you up. 54 00:04:33,548 --> 00:04:35,516 Why? A job interview? 55 00:04:35,716 --> 00:04:39,174 No, honey. I'll probably just be way too drunk. 56 00:04:39,387 --> 00:04:41,947 That's good. No drinking and driving. 57 00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:46,024 Oh, I'll be driving. I'll just be too drunk to remember. 58 00:04:46,761 --> 00:04:48,752 Okay. Bye, Daddy. 59 00:04:49,530 --> 00:04:51,054 Bye, pumpkin-head. 60 00:04:56,604 --> 00:04:59,095 -Oh, my God! -Get out of the road! 61 00:05:15,990 --> 00:05:18,925 Oh, my God, it's Jake. 62 00:05:19,660 --> 00:05:22,288 -Hi, stud. -Hi, Jake. 63 00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:26,364 -I love that thing with his eyebrows. -Those sideburns. 64 00:05:26,567 --> 00:05:30,663 Oh, my God, there's Jake. He's so popular. 65 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:32,763 He just looked at me. 66 00:05:32,974 --> 00:05:35,636 -Here. You can keep it. -Tiff. 67 00:05:35,843 --> 00:05:38,573 Hi, Jake. It's all wet. 68 00:05:38,913 --> 00:05:40,574 Melanie. 69 00:05:40,781 --> 00:05:42,806 Hey, Jake. 70 00:05:43,017 --> 00:05:45,247 Hey, Arthur. 71 00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:56,086 Here's Ricky! 72 00:05:56,297 --> 00:05:58,322 Hey, Ricky. How was your weekend? 73 00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:03,202 Friday night I stood outside your window in the rain... 74 00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:04,996 ...screaming your name. 75 00:06:05,606 --> 00:06:09,372 Then I spent Saturday and Sunday making you this great... 76 00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:13,843 ...l've-been-desperately-trying- to-tell-you-that... 77 00:06:14,048 --> 00:06:16,380 ...l'm-madly-in-love-with-you... 78 00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:18,643 ...mix tape for your birthday. 79 00:06:18,853 --> 00:06:22,186 A mix tape? That's so sweet, Ricky. 80 00:06:23,658 --> 00:06:25,717 See you in English. 81 00:06:28,696 --> 00:06:30,891 Catch you guy later. 82 00:06:33,668 --> 00:06:35,568 What happening? 83 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:39,262 Damn, Shorty, Dog is pretending to be Asian, and shit. 84 00:06:39,473 --> 00:06:44,240 That cracker is white! Can't he see that, yo? 85 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:47,175 Did you get any action this weekend? 86 00:06:47,381 --> 00:06:51,010 -I visit grandfather. -I played with my sisters. 87 00:06:51,218 --> 00:06:52,583 We're pathetic. 88 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:56,484 How will we ever lose our virginity by graduation? 89 00:06:56,691 --> 00:06:59,421 -We're freshmen. -What's with the attitude? 90 00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:03,256 -Not easy to get lucky here. -Girls are sensitive. 91 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:07,594 They're not looking for sex. They're looking for love. 92 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,771 Love me! Harder! 93 00:07:17,745 --> 00:07:19,940 Amanda Becker. 94 00:07:20,448 --> 00:07:24,009 She is so perfect. 95 00:07:34,095 --> 00:07:35,153 Keep dreaming. 96 00:07:36,130 --> 00:07:37,859 What's up, Reggie Ray? 97 00:07:38,065 --> 00:07:40,431 I can't wait until Friday's game. 98 00:07:40,768 --> 00:07:45,205 What about your head? You have a blood clot the size of a grapefruit. 99 00:07:45,406 --> 00:07:49,502 Five more concussions and you'll die. You should take it easy. 100 00:07:49,710 --> 00:07:52,736 -Don't listen to him. -Austin. 101 00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:57,781 Mr. Not-First-String-Anymore, isn't first-string anymore. 102 00:07:59,754 --> 00:08:03,246 We know what happened last time Jake called the plays. 103 00:08:03,457 --> 00:08:05,925 And now, ourhometown hero... 104 00:08:06,127 --> 00:08:09,426 ...first-string quarterback, Jake Wyler! 105 00:08:09,630 --> 00:08:12,997 Malik, could you hold these books? 106 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:16,097 Sure. Why not? I am the token black guy. 107 00:08:16,303 --> 00:08:18,794 I smile, stay out of the conversation... 108 00:08:19,073 --> 00:08:24,443 ...and say things like "Damn," "Shit," and "That is whack!" 109 00:08:41,128 --> 00:08:44,996 What's she doing here? She graduated four years ago. 110 00:08:46,667 --> 00:08:48,635 -Hi, Jake. -Catherine. 111 00:08:48,836 --> 00:08:50,463 Can I ask you a question? 112 00:08:50,671 --> 00:08:54,004 Why is it when I tell a guy to put it anywhere... 113 00:08:54,208 --> 00:08:57,200 -...they always stick it in my ass? -Damn! 114 00:08:57,411 --> 00:08:59,538 Way too much information. 115 00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:04,116 Oh, no. Too much information would be telling you... 116 00:09:04,318 --> 00:09:07,287 ...that after they're done I take a huge dump. 117 00:09:07,488 --> 00:09:09,479 Shit! 118 00:09:11,225 --> 00:09:12,351 On their chest. 119 00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:15,158 Oh, that is whack! 120 00:09:30,578 --> 00:09:32,637 Priscilla, there you are. 121 00:09:32,847 --> 00:09:36,613 Jake, I need some T-to-the-fourth-power-Y. 122 00:09:37,885 --> 00:09:40,786 Some time to talk to you. 123 00:09:43,157 --> 00:09:44,317 God. 124 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,724 It made sense to me, Priscilla. 125 00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:53,797 You're leaving me for this guy? 126 00:09:54,001 --> 00:09:57,664 I'm sorry, Jake. We met over spring break. 127 00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:03,639 I'm not ordinary. 128 00:10:03,844 --> 00:10:06,335 You're leaving me for this guy? 129 00:10:06,547 --> 00:10:08,572 His name is Les... 130 00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:13,378 ...and he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 131 00:10:15,356 --> 00:10:18,086 And so is his bag. 132 00:10:47,388 --> 00:10:52,348 Janey Briggs, please report to the office. 133 00:10:55,596 --> 00:10:58,565 Being a foreign exchange student is scary... 134 00:10:58,766 --> 00:11:01,530 ...adjusting to a new school, a new country. 135 00:11:01,735 --> 00:11:05,432 But you'll find that the students are very accepting. 136 00:11:05,639 --> 00:11:10,372 -I am so happy to be in America. -You have a sunny disposition. 137 00:11:12,613 --> 00:11:15,480 -You got your schedule? -I don't need it. 138 00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:18,511 I come to school to be object of lust... 139 00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:22,780 ...for poor nerds who cannot get American pussy. 140 00:11:23,257 --> 00:11:25,521 Well, isn't that wonderful? 141 00:11:26,093 --> 00:11:27,082 Janey, come in. 142 00:11:27,628 --> 00:11:30,791 This is Areola, our foreign exchange student. 143 00:11:30,998 --> 00:11:33,933 Janey will show you to your first class. 144 00:11:35,169 --> 00:11:36,534 Hi. 145 00:11:42,643 --> 00:11:45,407 -I like your backpack. -Grazie. 146 00:11:49,817 --> 00:11:54,550 Dude, I heard there's an undercover reporter posing as a student. 147 00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,814 Dude, no way, dude. 148 00:11:57,024 --> 00:12:00,391 Do you know where Mr. Keller's English class is? 149 00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:03,927 -Down the hall, on your left. -Sweet, dude. 150 00:12:04,665 --> 00:12:08,567 For the thousandth time, I said, "Swallow that thing." 151 00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:10,566 Am I right? 152 00:12:14,842 --> 00:12:18,141 How could Priscilla dump me, Jake Wyler? 153 00:12:18,345 --> 00:12:20,313 Who does she think she is? 154 00:12:20,514 --> 00:12:22,778 I got two words for you, Jake: 155 00:12:23,017 --> 00:12:26,544 Prom queen, material. 156 00:12:27,388 --> 00:12:29,652 Austin, she's an illusion. 157 00:12:29,857 --> 00:12:33,156 You take away the makeup, the clothes... 158 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:37,262 ...the way she wears her hair, the smell of her perfume... 159 00:12:37,464 --> 00:12:41,594 ...that cute face she makes when she's tonguing my balls.... 160 00:12:43,704 --> 00:12:45,331 Look, she's replaceable. 161 00:12:45,539 --> 00:12:48,667 Given the right look, the right boyfriend... 162 00:12:48,876 --> 00:12:52,334 -...any girl could be prom queen. -I smell a bet. 163 00:12:52,546 --> 00:12:55,208 Jakey, Jakey, about to make a big... 164 00:12:55,416 --> 00:12:57,577 ...mistakey. 165 00:12:57,785 --> 00:13:01,277 I'll pick the most hopeless girl at this school... 166 00:13:01,488 --> 00:13:05,117 ...and I'll bet that you can't turn her into prom queen. 167 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,953 You're on, Austin. 168 00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:09,129 I'll bet you lose that bet... 169 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:12,891 ...but learn a much more valuable lesson, and win. 170 00:13:13,133 --> 00:13:15,067 In life, that is. 171 00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:17,493 You're both on. 172 00:13:17,705 --> 00:13:19,104 All right. 173 00:13:19,306 --> 00:13:23,936 Let's find you a prom queen, Mr. Let's-Find-Me-A-Prom-Queen. 174 00:13:24,912 --> 00:13:26,038 What about her? 175 00:13:26,246 --> 00:13:28,305 Baby's got back. Hunch, that is. 176 00:13:28,515 --> 00:13:31,075 No, way too easy. 177 00:13:31,719 --> 00:13:35,746 -I have no pigment -Any girl with a guitar is hot. 178 00:13:35,956 --> 00:13:37,583 I need sunscreen 179 00:13:37,791 --> 00:13:41,022 Even a hippie albino. She could be prom queen. 180 00:13:41,228 --> 00:13:43,389 What about the Fratelli sisters? 181 00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:46,966 So they're slightly disfigured and connected. 182 00:13:47,167 --> 00:13:51,103 But combined, those two make up one pretty decent chick. 183 00:13:51,305 --> 00:13:53,466 -I'd do them! -I know, Reggie Ray. 184 00:13:53,674 --> 00:13:57,007 I'm looking for somebody really messed up. 185 00:13:57,211 --> 00:14:01,079 I'm talking about a real shitbomb. 186 00:14:04,318 --> 00:14:07,719 Well, bombs away. 187 00:14:08,322 --> 00:14:12,816 No, no, no, anyone but her! Not Janey Briggs. 188 00:14:13,527 --> 00:14:16,621 Guys, she's got glasses and a ponytail. 189 00:14:16,830 --> 00:14:20,095 She's got paint on her overalls! What is that? 190 00:14:20,768 --> 00:14:23,703 There's no way she could be prom queen. 191 00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:26,372 Damn, that shit's whack. 192 00:14:27,775 --> 00:14:29,470 Aim for the head! 193 00:14:43,657 --> 00:14:46,626 Can you imagine what they do in there? 194 00:14:46,827 --> 00:14:48,317 Holy cow. 195 00:14:48,529 --> 00:14:51,862 Guys, get your heads out of the gutter. 196 00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:55,159 It's a locker room. It's no sexier in there... 197 00:14:55,369 --> 00:14:57,030 ...than it is in here. 198 00:14:57,271 --> 00:15:00,536 Molly, can you help me take off my panties? 199 00:15:01,208 --> 00:15:03,972 Hold on, I've got lotion on my hands. 200 00:15:04,178 --> 00:15:07,272 That's okay. You can just use your mouth. 201 00:15:15,522 --> 00:15:17,046 Thanks, Miss Peters. 202 00:15:17,758 --> 00:15:18,782 So... 203 00:15:18,992 --> 00:15:22,860 ...who would like to share their poem with the class? 204 00:15:25,165 --> 00:15:28,191 Mr. Keller? Over here. Right here. Please. 205 00:15:28,402 --> 00:15:29,426 Anyone? 206 00:15:29,636 --> 00:15:32,002 Please pick me. I'm the one. 207 00:15:32,206 --> 00:15:33,366 Yes... 208 00:15:34,041 --> 00:15:35,531 ...Ricky. 209 00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:47,613 -"Ten Things I Love About Janey." -Oh, not again. 210 00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:49,288 By Ricky Lipman. 211 00:15:50,557 --> 00:15:55,290 I love it when Janey talks I love it when Janey walks 212 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:59,660 I love it when Janey drinks I love it when Janey blinks 213 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,868 I love it when Janey says hi 214 00:16:03,070 --> 00:16:06,972 I love it when Janey says See you in English 215 00:16:10,577 --> 00:16:13,637 I love following Janey to the mall 216 00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:18,712 And I love... 217 00:16:18,919 --> 00:16:23,379 ...collecting strands ofJaney's hair... 218 00:16:23,657 --> 00:16:29,653 ...and rolling them up lnto little Janey hairballs 219 00:16:40,774 --> 00:16:45,575 Thank you, Ricky, for that interesting poem. 220 00:16:47,114 --> 00:16:51,574 -I'm not sure we should be doing this. -Quiet. I hear them. 221 00:16:51,785 --> 00:16:54,618 I can't believe what we just did, Molly. 222 00:16:54,821 --> 00:16:59,622 It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that will never happen again. 223 00:16:59,826 --> 00:17:03,125 Shit, we missed it. Let's keep going. 224 00:17:04,131 --> 00:17:07,157 Hey, I found a buffalo nickel! 225 00:17:13,106 --> 00:17:14,095 Jackpot. 226 00:17:14,474 --> 00:17:17,637 Girl go pee-pee not what I want to see-see. 227 00:17:17,844 --> 00:17:18,970 I agree-gree. 228 00:17:19,179 --> 00:17:23,047 Would you two please try and be a little open-minded? 229 00:17:23,650 --> 00:17:28,952 Class, let's open our books and continue with our poetry lesson. 230 00:17:29,156 --> 00:17:32,125 You know what I think about poetry? 231 00:17:34,695 --> 00:17:37,892 Oh, is that amusing? 232 00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:41,663 Is that what your generation considers humor? 233 00:17:49,376 --> 00:17:52,709 This make me kind of happy in pants. 234 00:17:58,619 --> 00:17:59,984 Goodness. 235 00:18:00,187 --> 00:18:03,384 That make me kind of sad in pants. 236 00:18:04,191 --> 00:18:07,922 Shakespeare, Moli�re... 237 00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:10,028 ...Oscar Wilde. 238 00:18:10,230 --> 00:18:11,925 These were humorists. 239 00:18:14,668 --> 00:18:15,862 I'm gonna be sick. 240 00:18:16,069 --> 00:18:20,529 The sublime poetic genius of a clever turn of phrase. 241 00:18:20,741 --> 00:18:22,675 That is true comedy. 242 00:18:23,443 --> 00:18:24,842 Heavens to Betsy. 243 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:32,443 Your modern, moronic, feeble-minded, sophomoric excuse for wit... 244 00:18:35,122 --> 00:18:37,590 ...is merely a parade of nasty... 245 00:18:39,026 --> 00:18:41,085 ...filthy, vulgar... 246 00:18:42,429 --> 00:18:45,023 ...human excrement! 247 00:18:58,979 --> 00:19:00,446 Excuse me. 248 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:16,152 -Hey, Janey. What's up? -Excuse me? 249 00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:20,129 Ever want to be the most popular girl in school? 250 00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,358 Anorexic, superficial? 251 00:19:22,569 --> 00:19:26,061 A whore who lacks any real long-term goals? 252 00:19:26,273 --> 00:19:27,797 Exactly. 253 00:19:28,008 --> 00:19:31,739 If you're interested, I thought we could go out sometime. 254 00:19:31,945 --> 00:19:33,276 Be seen in public. 255 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:37,746 -We haven't spoken in four years. -Actually, more like six. 256 00:19:38,151 --> 00:19:41,382 That time when we were in line at that theater... 257 00:19:41,588 --> 00:19:45,718 ...l was actually saying "hey" to the person behind you. 258 00:19:52,332 --> 00:19:56,063 Friday's championship game is against North Compton... 259 00:19:56,269 --> 00:19:59,067 ...and that squad always tries to bring it. 260 00:19:59,272 --> 00:20:01,763 -Bring what, Priscilla? -Bring it. 261 00:20:01,975 --> 00:20:04,535 Right, but what is "it"? 262 00:20:04,878 --> 00:20:08,336 It's just what they bring, okay? 263 00:20:19,659 --> 00:20:21,559 New girl. 264 00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:27,992 I'm Sandy Sue. It is simply swell to meet all of you. 265 00:20:28,201 --> 00:20:30,499 Peachy. You brought a routine? 266 00:20:30,704 --> 00:20:33,070 Oh, you bet. 267 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,006 Give me an H. Give me a U. 268 00:20:36,910 --> 00:20:41,540 Give me a giant pussy-licking, ass-fucker cock shit! 269 00:20:44,284 --> 00:20:48,311 I'm sorry. That was my Tourette's. 270 00:20:49,156 --> 00:20:52,148 I don't know about her. 271 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:55,886 Let's get it straight. This isn't a cheerocracy. 272 00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:57,627 I am the cheertator. 273 00:20:57,831 --> 00:21:02,564 I make the cheercisions, I will deal with the cheeronsequences. 274 00:21:02,769 --> 00:21:06,603 If there are no more cheeruptions, we can cheertinue. 275 00:21:07,340 --> 00:21:08,932 Thank you. 276 00:21:12,579 --> 00:21:15,548 Grandpa stuck a finger in my ass! Cum face! 277 00:21:17,584 --> 00:21:20,348 She'll cheer do. Great. 278 00:21:21,855 --> 00:21:24,653 Goddamn it, let's go now! Thirty-two draw! 279 00:21:24,858 --> 00:21:28,294 Goddamn it! Let's show some goddamn hustle! 280 00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:32,090 Look alive out there! This isn't a goddamn tryout! 281 00:21:32,299 --> 00:21:34,665 -Goddamn it! -Blue 21 ! Hut! 282 00:21:34,868 --> 00:21:36,358 What the hell? 283 00:21:36,570 --> 00:21:39,038 Nobody's covering that hole! 284 00:21:39,239 --> 00:21:42,106 Goddamn it! Let's do it again! 285 00:21:43,476 --> 00:21:46,411 Marty! Marty! Marty! 286 00:21:47,147 --> 00:21:49,411 All right, Marty. 287 00:21:51,451 --> 00:21:53,942 -Get your ass in there. -You sure? 288 00:21:54,154 --> 00:21:56,554 Just go, goddamn it. 289 00:21:56,756 --> 00:21:58,986 Wyler, we got this wrapped up. 290 00:21:59,192 --> 00:22:03,219 All you gotta do is run out the clock. 291 00:22:05,198 --> 00:22:08,099 For God's sakes, don't try anything fancy! 292 00:22:08,301 --> 00:22:09,825 Goddamn it. 293 00:22:12,672 --> 00:22:14,435 Listen, boys. 294 00:22:14,641 --> 00:22:17,109 We got time for one more play. 295 00:22:17,310 --> 00:22:20,609 -I say we get the ball to Marty. -Damn. 296 00:22:20,814 --> 00:22:23,612 No, I'm just happy being on the field. 297 00:22:23,817 --> 00:22:28,277 Coach reckons we should take a knee. We're up 42 - 0. 298 00:22:28,488 --> 00:22:30,649 I don't care what coach reckons. 299 00:22:30,857 --> 00:22:33,417 You can't go through life being scared. 300 00:22:33,627 --> 00:22:36,994 If you do, you'll always wonder, "What if?" 301 00:22:37,664 --> 00:22:41,430 But if you go out there and you give it your all... 302 00:22:41,801 --> 00:22:43,496 ...that's heroic. 303 00:22:45,972 --> 00:22:47,963 Guys, I appreciate this, but-- 304 00:22:48,174 --> 00:22:50,506 That's the spirit! Ready? 305 00:22:56,082 --> 00:22:58,778 What are you doing? Get out of here. 306 00:22:58,985 --> 00:23:00,612 Not here. Down there. 307 00:23:00,820 --> 00:23:01,912 Over here? 308 00:23:02,122 --> 00:23:04,181 What are you doing? Over here! 309 00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:05,850 Here? 310 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:08,359 We love you, Marty! 311 00:23:08,561 --> 00:23:10,188 Set, hut! 312 00:23:21,007 --> 00:23:22,804 No. No. 313 00:23:24,144 --> 00:23:26,339 No, don't throw it to me. 314 00:23:27,013 --> 00:23:28,378 No! 315 00:23:54,407 --> 00:23:57,934 -Nice hands, Marty! -I did it. 316 00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:00,780 -I'm a hero! -Walk it off! 317 00:24:02,048 --> 00:24:05,677 All right, goddamn it! Hit the showers, goddamn it! 318 00:24:06,219 --> 00:24:09,211 Bunch of candy-asses. Lousy practice! 319 00:24:09,422 --> 00:24:12,152 We'll get our asses kicked Friday! 320 00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:15,692 What about fourth-string? I didn't get to practice. 321 00:24:15,895 --> 00:24:19,763 After all the shenanigans you pulled last season... 322 00:24:19,966 --> 00:24:24,801 ...thank God you're still in goddamn uniform, goddamn it! 323 00:24:48,795 --> 00:24:53,061 If my parents hear I got detention, no dessert for a week. 324 00:24:53,266 --> 00:24:57,362 We've disgraced ourselves and our families. 325 00:24:57,570 --> 00:25:01,597 I sense the morale's a little low. I say we make a pact... 326 00:25:02,242 --> 00:25:04,039 ...right here, right now. 327 00:25:04,244 --> 00:25:07,441 Before the end of the year, we all get laid! 328 00:25:08,081 --> 00:25:09,946 We always make that pact. 329 00:25:10,150 --> 00:25:13,051 We've been waiting for this since puberty. 330 00:25:13,253 --> 00:25:16,620 -Two weeks ago! -I just got first hair on ball. 331 00:25:17,257 --> 00:25:19,748 I don't think you understand. 332 00:25:20,260 --> 00:25:23,627 We'll become the masters of our sexual destiny. 333 00:25:23,830 --> 00:25:27,630 No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused. 334 00:25:27,834 --> 00:25:30,325 No longer steal Grandfather's porn. 335 00:25:30,537 --> 00:25:34,633 No longer will we use blindfolds when we jerk each other off. 336 00:25:35,375 --> 00:25:37,002 All right, that's it. 337 00:25:41,114 --> 00:25:43,207 What in God's name is going on? 338 00:25:43,416 --> 00:25:46,078 -What was that ruckus? -I no hear ruckus. 339 00:25:46,286 --> 00:25:50,450 -I heard a ruckus. -Can you describe this ruckus, sir? 340 00:25:50,657 --> 00:25:53,421 You better watch your tongue, young man! 341 00:25:53,626 --> 00:25:55,491 We were just sitting here. 342 00:25:55,695 --> 00:25:58,755 You just bought yourself another detention. 343 00:25:58,965 --> 00:26:01,798 -That's not fair. -Cry me a river, dickface. 344 00:26:02,001 --> 00:26:04,868 -You bought another one. -Eat my shorts. 345 00:26:05,438 --> 00:26:06,769 What was that? 346 00:26:06,973 --> 00:26:10,170 Eat my shorts! 347 00:26:10,376 --> 00:26:13,174 -Don't mess with a bull. -I'm shaking. 348 00:26:13,379 --> 00:26:15,006 -You got another. -Good! 349 00:26:15,215 --> 00:26:17,843 -You through? -Not even close, bud. 350 00:26:18,051 --> 00:26:19,814 -Want another one? -Yes. 351 00:26:20,019 --> 00:26:22,044 -You got it! -Good. 352 00:26:22,255 --> 00:26:24,223 -Another one. Had enough? -No. 353 00:26:24,424 --> 00:26:25,652 -Another one. -So? 354 00:26:25,859 --> 00:26:27,827 -I can keep going. -Go! 355 00:26:28,027 --> 00:26:30,222 -Eenie, meenie, minie-- -Moe. 356 00:26:30,430 --> 00:26:31,658 -Your mom's a-- -Ho. 357 00:26:31,865 --> 00:26:33,560 -He's a famous clown. -Bobo. 358 00:26:33,766 --> 00:26:36,064 Mitch, cut it out. 359 00:26:38,238 --> 00:26:40,206 -Another one. -But I was-- 360 00:26:40,406 --> 00:26:41,737 That's another one! 361 00:26:41,941 --> 00:26:44,705 -One more for Ox or for Mitch? -Another. 362 00:26:45,478 --> 00:26:47,639 -I confused. -Shut up, Wang Chung. 363 00:26:47,847 --> 00:26:51,783 I got you for the rest of your lives. You're mine. 364 00:26:52,185 --> 00:26:55,780 Next time, I'm cracking skulls. 365 00:27:10,403 --> 00:27:14,203 How many times have I said I'm not going to Princeton? 366 00:27:14,407 --> 00:27:16,307 I'm not pressuring you. 367 00:27:16,709 --> 00:27:18,404 Just give it four years. 368 00:27:18,611 --> 00:27:21,944 If you don't like it, you can work at my firm. 369 00:27:22,148 --> 00:27:24,946 I don't want your life! 370 00:27:25,718 --> 00:27:26,810 That's okay, son. 371 00:27:27,020 --> 00:27:29,818 I heard about what happened with Priscilla. 372 00:27:30,023 --> 00:27:31,285 The good news is... 373 00:27:31,491 --> 00:27:34,051 ...l've got the perfect rebound girl. 374 00:27:34,260 --> 00:27:35,557 Really? 375 00:27:36,896 --> 00:27:39,626 Beverly! Could you come in here? 376 00:27:45,905 --> 00:27:46,997 That's Mom! 377 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,265 What do you say, kiddo? 378 00:27:49,976 --> 00:27:52,342 I'm gonna leave you two alone. 379 00:27:55,548 --> 00:27:57,015 Make me proud, son. 380 00:27:57,684 --> 00:27:59,811 So, you in love? 381 00:28:02,355 --> 00:28:06,155 -Yeah, I think I am. -Well, who is this guy? 382 00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:10,318 His name is Blane. He's a senior. He's so beautiful. 383 00:28:16,035 --> 00:28:19,436 Janey? Sweetheart? 384 00:28:21,908 --> 00:28:23,205 Hi, Daddy. 385 00:28:23,409 --> 00:28:26,640 Is something wrong? You were quiet at dinner. 386 00:28:26,846 --> 00:28:29,542 You were passed out on the table. 387 00:28:34,988 --> 00:28:36,421 Listen, honey... 388 00:28:36,990 --> 00:28:41,017 ...l may not always be coherent or conscious... 389 00:28:41,261 --> 00:28:45,391 ...but I know when my girl's got something on her mind. 390 00:28:46,099 --> 00:28:49,091 Well, there is this popular boy, Jake. 391 00:28:49,302 --> 00:28:52,965 Oh, sweetie. 392 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,708 Jake knocked you up, didn't he? 393 00:28:56,909 --> 00:28:59,343 No, he asked me out. 394 00:29:00,546 --> 00:29:03,640 Do you like him? Are you attracted to him? 395 00:29:04,150 --> 00:29:06,641 I mean, would you give him head? 396 00:29:06,853 --> 00:29:09,720 He is kind of cute, but... 397 00:29:09,922 --> 00:29:12,288 ...he's always been a total jerk. 398 00:29:12,492 --> 00:29:15,017 It's weird that he's talking to me now. 399 00:29:15,228 --> 00:29:20,063 Especially after you've packed on a couple of pounds. 400 00:29:23,202 --> 00:29:25,727 What do you think I should do? 401 00:29:25,938 --> 00:29:27,599 Look, sweetie. 402 00:29:27,807 --> 00:29:32,335 I never want you to do anything that compromises who you are... 403 00:29:32,545 --> 00:29:35,912 ...because you're very, very special to me. 404 00:29:36,115 --> 00:29:40,074 If Jake is only asking you out to get into your pants... 405 00:29:40,586 --> 00:29:42,713 ...well, then I'd say... 406 00:29:42,922 --> 00:29:44,617 ...go out with him. 407 00:29:44,824 --> 00:29:48,419 You could certainly use the popularity points. 408 00:29:48,795 --> 00:29:50,626 And if Jake likes you... 409 00:29:50,830 --> 00:29:55,995 ...then maybe those kids'll quit throwing bags of shit on the porch. 410 00:30:01,507 --> 00:30:03,202 I feel better. 411 00:30:05,778 --> 00:30:08,508 Thanks for the advice, Daddy. 412 00:30:09,415 --> 00:30:12,714 That's what I'm here for, pumpkin-tits. 413 00:30:19,692 --> 00:30:22,820 -I need to ask you a favor. -It's about time. 414 00:30:23,262 --> 00:30:25,321 No, not that. 415 00:30:27,066 --> 00:30:30,035 You're the cruelest girl in high school. 416 00:30:30,236 --> 00:30:34,434 You're the only one who can help trick Janey into liking me. 417 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:38,201 That girl with the glasses and the ponytail? 418 00:30:38,411 --> 00:30:41,346 Don't forget the paint-covered overalls. 419 00:30:42,548 --> 00:30:45,016 Well... 420 00:30:45,218 --> 00:30:47,778 ...it's going to be difficult. 421 00:30:48,521 --> 00:30:50,819 But I think I can help you. 422 00:30:51,023 --> 00:30:52,490 Sit. 423 00:30:55,695 --> 00:30:57,356 For a price. 424 00:30:59,532 --> 00:31:02,729 And this time, I don't want your car. 425 00:31:04,437 --> 00:31:06,132 I want you. 426 00:31:06,439 --> 00:31:10,000 Catherine, that's disgusting. You're my sister. 427 00:31:10,209 --> 00:31:12,734 Only by blood. 428 00:31:12,945 --> 00:31:18,440 -What is wrong with this family? -Hey, do you want my help or not? 429 00:31:31,297 --> 00:31:34,198 There are three things you need to do... 430 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:38,200 ...to have Janey eating out of your hand. 431 00:31:38,404 --> 00:31:40,338 First, you earn her trust. 432 00:31:40,540 --> 00:31:42,599 Come on, leave him alone! 433 00:31:42,809 --> 00:31:46,836 Hey! Come on, guys, back off. That's enough, okay? 434 00:31:50,349 --> 00:31:51,976 You little shit. 435 00:32:03,596 --> 00:32:06,258 Don't you guys mess with him again. 436 00:32:06,466 --> 00:32:11,301 Once you've got her trust, it's time to make her feel special. 437 00:32:11,938 --> 00:32:15,567 Pick a song with hername in it. That always works. 438 00:32:38,598 --> 00:32:41,465 She's got a gun! Janey's got a gun! 439 00:32:52,411 --> 00:32:53,639 Take it easy, miss. 440 00:32:53,846 --> 00:32:55,336 -Wait. -Get back here! 441 00:32:59,919 --> 00:33:01,216 Hold her down. 442 00:33:03,890 --> 00:33:07,155 Give me your hand! Just give us the gun, Janey. 443 00:33:08,027 --> 00:33:11,258 Afteryou've made her feel special... 444 00:33:11,464 --> 00:33:14,456 ...it's time to put the icing on the cake. 445 00:33:14,667 --> 00:33:17,261 I'm really glad you showed up, Janey. 446 00:33:17,503 --> 00:33:22,304 The only reason I came here was to tell you to leave me alone. 447 00:33:22,508 --> 00:33:25,534 You know, I was just making a snack. 448 00:33:25,745 --> 00:33:27,508 You want one? 449 00:33:28,180 --> 00:33:30,114 No. Listen, Jake-- 450 00:33:30,316 --> 00:33:32,045 I'll be right back. 451 00:34:09,388 --> 00:34:11,652 Hungry? 452 00:34:13,926 --> 00:34:15,416 I don't like sundaes. 453 00:34:15,628 --> 00:34:19,997 It's not a sundae, it's a banana split. 454 00:34:21,734 --> 00:34:25,226 I don't like those, either. Goodbye, Jake. 455 00:34:40,486 --> 00:34:43,455 I left some money on the kitchen counter. 456 00:34:43,656 --> 00:34:46,090 Emergency numbers are by the phone. 457 00:34:46,292 --> 00:34:48,783 And remember, son: No parties. 458 00:34:48,995 --> 00:34:50,257 I know, Dad. 459 00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:52,359 Keg coming through. Hey. 460 00:34:53,132 --> 00:34:54,394 What's up, man? 461 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:56,625 We're trusting you, Preston. 462 00:34:56,836 --> 00:35:01,102 -Where do you want the speakers? -In the dining room. 463 00:35:01,307 --> 00:35:03,537 You guys should hit the road. 464 00:35:03,743 --> 00:35:06,371 I'm taking your Ferrari to buy hookers. 465 00:35:06,579 --> 00:35:09,139 We'll call you later to check in. 466 00:35:09,348 --> 00:35:12,749 I'll be so high, I won't know where the phone is. 467 00:35:12,952 --> 00:35:14,419 That's my boy. 468 00:35:17,790 --> 00:35:20,020 Jake, what are you doing here? 469 00:35:20,226 --> 00:35:22,888 I'm taking you to Preston's big party. 470 00:35:23,462 --> 00:35:24,520 I can't. 471 00:35:24,730 --> 00:35:28,962 I'm not dressed to go to a party. I'm a complete mess. 472 00:35:29,168 --> 00:35:32,763 I'd say you're one big fucking train wreck. 473 00:35:36,842 --> 00:35:38,366 Do I know you? 474 00:35:54,260 --> 00:35:57,787 That's it. I've got it. 475 00:35:57,997 --> 00:35:59,191 What? 476 00:35:59,398 --> 00:36:03,425 It might seem crazy, but you'll have to trust me. 477 00:36:31,230 --> 00:36:33,061 That's it. 478 00:36:33,265 --> 00:36:36,098 I did it. I'm a miracle-worker. 479 00:36:39,071 --> 00:36:40,663 Gentlemen... 480 00:36:40,873 --> 00:36:43,967 ...may I present to you the new and improved... 481 00:36:44,510 --> 00:36:46,705 ...Janey Briggs. 482 00:37:21,413 --> 00:37:25,577 Congratulations. You just got your first slow-motion entrance. 483 00:37:47,973 --> 00:37:50,100 I'm okay! 484 00:37:50,309 --> 00:37:51,571 Janey? 485 00:37:53,546 --> 00:37:57,243 Come on out of there, honey. Quit farting around. 486 00:38:06,058 --> 00:38:08,993 -Got your mom's car keys? -Check. 487 00:38:11,163 --> 00:38:12,755 -Sleeping bags. -Check. 488 00:38:12,965 --> 00:38:13,989 -Condoms. -Check. 489 00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:19,365 Three pubescent libidos to take us on a series of wild adventures. 490 00:38:19,572 --> 00:38:21,870 Check! Road trip! 491 00:38:37,323 --> 00:38:38,483 We here. 492 00:38:38,991 --> 00:38:42,984 Gentlemen, tonight we go to our first high-school party. 493 00:38:43,562 --> 00:38:46,827 This is the place to buzz the Brillo. 494 00:38:47,032 --> 00:38:49,091 How you plan on buzzing Brillo? 495 00:38:49,935 --> 00:38:54,133 With this letter. Amanda Becker will know the truth: 496 00:38:54,340 --> 00:38:57,070 I've loved her since I first saw her. 497 00:38:58,244 --> 00:38:59,643 Welcome to the party. 498 00:38:59,845 --> 00:39:04,145 If you're going to have sex, do it in my parents' bedroom. 499 00:39:05,217 --> 00:39:09,620 -Does she go to our school? -It's not even the same person. 500 00:39:09,822 --> 00:39:12,518 Janey-stainey-stained-pants-overalls? 501 00:39:12,725 --> 00:39:14,955 How did you talk me into this? 502 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:19,859 Priscilla's freaking out now that Janey's lost her ponytail. 503 00:39:20,065 --> 00:39:23,228 I'm going to go fuck a complete stranger. 504 00:39:23,435 --> 00:39:26,563 Hey, I'm a complete stranger. 505 00:39:28,841 --> 00:39:32,368 Relax, all right? It's going to be okay. 506 00:39:32,878 --> 00:39:33,936 Nice turtleneck. 507 00:39:34,146 --> 00:39:36,046 What's your name? 508 00:39:36,248 --> 00:39:39,615 I'm Sandy Sue. Limp-dick fag fucker! 509 00:39:39,818 --> 00:39:41,877 Who told you that? Alison? 510 00:39:42,087 --> 00:39:44,851 Alison was bitter when we broke up. 511 00:39:45,057 --> 00:39:49,551 -Completely fake. -Yeah, that's not her real hair color. 512 00:39:49,762 --> 00:39:54,529 -She's wearing the same outfit as me. -It looks much better on you. 513 00:39:54,733 --> 00:39:58,294 Where is she? I thought she'd be here by now. 514 00:40:06,745 --> 00:40:08,372 What's going on? 515 00:40:09,648 --> 00:40:14,608 We can't talk until she starts moving again. 516 00:40:19,558 --> 00:40:22,254 She took forever this time. 517 00:40:30,803 --> 00:40:33,294 What are you doing here? 518 00:40:35,341 --> 00:40:36,501 What do you mean? 519 00:40:36,709 --> 00:40:41,043 I'm supposed to be the only black guy at this party. 520 00:40:41,780 --> 00:40:45,443 -Damn. Shit. -Yeah, I know. 521 00:40:45,651 --> 00:40:46,640 It's whack. 522 00:40:46,852 --> 00:40:47,944 My bad, man. 523 00:40:48,153 --> 00:40:49,950 -Take this. -Thanks. 524 00:40:50,155 --> 00:40:51,520 Do your thing. 525 00:40:52,124 --> 00:40:55,685 -Peace out, brother. -Honest mistake. 526 00:41:03,335 --> 00:41:06,133 Hi, my name is Catherine. 527 00:41:06,805 --> 00:41:11,401 Yeah, I know. We just had sex five minutes ago. 528 00:41:15,781 --> 00:41:17,976 Not scoring any cock, either? 529 00:41:18,183 --> 00:41:22,210 Cock? I've never even been kissed. 530 00:41:25,424 --> 00:41:30,054 What up, my yellow brothers? Chinks in the house! 531 00:41:39,905 --> 00:41:44,035 Reggie Ray, have you seen Janey anywhere? 532 00:41:45,010 --> 00:41:47,877 It's a good night for smoking. 533 00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,275 Ain't that right, Sausage? 534 00:41:57,956 --> 00:42:01,653 Okay, now close your eyes and wet your lips. 535 00:42:01,860 --> 00:42:05,455 -Are you for real? -Do you want to learn or not? 536 00:42:06,965 --> 00:42:09,798 I guess. 537 00:42:19,912 --> 00:42:25,248 -See? That wasn't so scary. -It was nothing. 538 00:42:26,652 --> 00:42:28,984 Okay. 539 00:42:29,188 --> 00:42:31,713 Let's try again. 540 00:42:31,924 --> 00:42:36,293 Only this time, I'm gonna stick my tongue in your mouth. 541 00:42:36,495 --> 00:42:41,091 And when I do that, I want you to massage my tongue with yours. 542 00:42:41,300 --> 00:42:45,669 -And that's what first base is. -Okay. 543 00:42:46,004 --> 00:42:47,665 Eyes closed. 544 00:43:13,065 --> 00:43:16,000 That was cool. 545 00:43:17,636 --> 00:43:19,194 Now... 546 00:43:19,404 --> 00:43:22,805 ...have you ever eaten pussy before? 547 00:43:25,210 --> 00:43:28,145 You call this a party?! 548 00:43:28,347 --> 00:43:30,975 I'm a golden goddess! 549 00:43:31,183 --> 00:43:34,050 -Show us how drunk you are! -Go for it! 550 00:43:40,492 --> 00:43:42,687 You're a unique rebel, Janey! 551 00:43:43,462 --> 00:43:45,293 Janey, are you all right? 552 00:43:46,198 --> 00:43:51,329 -I told you not to let me drink. -I gave you a nonalcoholic beer. 553 00:43:55,774 --> 00:43:58,572 What the hell are you doing here? 554 00:43:58,777 --> 00:43:59,937 I was invited. 555 00:44:00,145 --> 00:44:04,946 Look, you may have lost those glasses and that ponytail thing... 556 00:44:05,150 --> 00:44:08,142 ...but you're still a loser. 557 00:44:13,859 --> 00:44:17,056 Look at that. Oh, my God. 558 00:44:17,262 --> 00:44:19,492 That's going to stain. 559 00:44:24,603 --> 00:44:27,868 You're not going to cry now, are you? 560 00:45:09,915 --> 00:45:14,079 Look, you can't just start a slow clap at any old time. 561 00:45:14,286 --> 00:45:19,952 -You gotta wait for the right moment. -When is it the right moment? 562 00:45:22,828 --> 00:45:24,989 You'll know. 563 00:45:37,109 --> 00:45:39,270 Nobody's allowed down here. 564 00:45:39,945 --> 00:45:41,503 Janey, I just thought-- 565 00:45:41,713 --> 00:45:45,911 How did you get in here? I deadbolted the door. 566 00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:49,652 There's a hole in the side of your house. 567 00:45:54,359 --> 00:45:56,486 Who's that? 568 00:45:56,695 --> 00:45:59,926 -It's my mother. -You have her eyes. 569 00:46:02,234 --> 00:46:04,725 She died when I was 6. 570 00:46:05,971 --> 00:46:07,871 I'm sorry. 571 00:46:08,073 --> 00:46:11,099 I remember it like it was yesterday. 572 00:46:11,310 --> 00:46:16,839 Christmas, 1 989. Dad had been fired from the zipper factory. 573 00:46:17,049 --> 00:46:20,109 Mom was pulling in tricks to make ends meet. 574 00:46:20,319 --> 00:46:23,720 Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscar for My Left Foot. 575 00:46:23,922 --> 00:46:27,255 And all I wanted was a little Betsy Wetsy doll. 576 00:46:27,659 --> 00:46:32,619 I remember those. Push her belly, she'd piss all over herself. 577 00:46:32,831 --> 00:46:36,892 She said she was going out to get my dad a bottle of gin... 578 00:46:37,102 --> 00:46:40,868 ...but I knew she was going to get me that present. 579 00:46:41,073 --> 00:46:45,100 It was raining really hard that night... 580 00:46:45,344 --> 00:46:48,074 ...and the roads were slippery. 581 00:46:48,547 --> 00:46:51,880 Oh, God, Janey. A car accident. 582 00:46:52,084 --> 00:46:54,279 No. Cancer. 583 00:46:57,956 --> 00:47:01,517 I had to take on all of her responsibilities: 584 00:47:01,727 --> 00:47:05,219 Cooking and cleaning and breast-feeding Mitch. 585 00:47:05,430 --> 00:47:08,627 It's in the past. Think about your future. 586 00:47:08,834 --> 00:47:11,268 Look how talented you are. 587 00:47:11,470 --> 00:47:16,066 I have this dream ofjust hopping on a plane and going to Paris. 588 00:47:16,274 --> 00:47:19,300 There's an art school but I can't afford it. 589 00:47:19,811 --> 00:47:24,043 Unless I raise $26,000 before the admissions cutoff. 590 00:47:24,249 --> 00:47:29,653 My parents give a scholarship to girls who can't get into art school. 591 00:47:29,921 --> 00:47:31,752 Really? That's amazing. 592 00:47:31,957 --> 00:47:36,291 This year we gave it to Lupe, the Mexican finger painter. 593 00:47:36,495 --> 00:47:39,726 I think you'd really like her work. 594 00:47:40,165 --> 00:47:43,862 Sometimes I wish my life was a fairy tale... 595 00:47:44,069 --> 00:47:47,334 ...and some guy would come and take me away. 596 00:48:13,598 --> 00:48:17,625 -My eyes were shut. -And we couldn't even-- 597 00:48:28,113 --> 00:48:30,638 -I'm going to go. -Okay. 598 00:48:30,849 --> 00:48:35,218 Congratulations to the men and women nominated forprom queen. 599 00:48:44,563 --> 00:48:48,556 Think you'll be prom queen? Well, think again, Janey. 600 00:48:48,767 --> 00:48:52,635 You put the "ass" in "embarrassment." The "boo" in "taboo." 601 00:48:52,838 --> 00:48:55,864 And the "suck" in "Iiposuction." 602 00:48:59,478 --> 00:49:02,447 Is that the best you can do? 603 00:49:02,647 --> 00:49:04,376 No. 604 00:49:04,583 --> 00:49:07,484 You also put the "brat" in "bratwurst." 605 00:49:07,953 --> 00:49:10,649 And the "eew" in "jujitsu." 606 00:49:10,856 --> 00:49:15,850 And the "ism" in "This is all just a defense mechanism." 607 00:49:18,296 --> 00:49:22,960 So I told her, "Take the old lady and send your mama back." 608 00:49:24,236 --> 00:49:28,935 So, you asked your four-eyed circus freak to the prom yet? 609 00:49:29,140 --> 00:49:31,233 We resent that! 610 00:49:32,611 --> 00:49:35,637 Why don't you just drop it, Austin? 611 00:49:35,881 --> 00:49:40,750 Jake made a few paint stains in his pants thinking about Janey. 612 00:49:41,553 --> 00:49:44,545 It's just a bet. Okay, man? 613 00:49:44,990 --> 00:49:47,720 You always had a thing for ugly girls... 614 00:49:47,926 --> 00:49:51,521 ...Mr. I-Have- a-Thing-For-Ugly-Girls. 615 00:49:53,899 --> 00:49:55,366 You mean Janey? 616 00:49:55,567 --> 00:49:59,162 She looks as good as a dumpster full of gristles. 617 00:49:59,471 --> 00:50:01,939 Bling-bling. 618 00:50:03,475 --> 00:50:05,875 Janey Briggs... 619 00:50:06,077 --> 00:50:07,704 ...is hot. 620 00:50:24,796 --> 00:50:27,629 -Hey, Janey. -Hey, Jake. 621 00:50:27,832 --> 00:50:30,733 I've been doing a lot of thinking... 622 00:50:30,936 --> 00:50:35,737 ...and there's something I want to ask you. 623 00:50:35,941 --> 00:50:38,842 I don't want to make a big deal of it... 624 00:50:39,044 --> 00:50:43,504 ...so I'm just gonna lay it out there, okay? 625 00:50:44,215 --> 00:50:46,183 Here it is. 626 00:50:48,286 --> 00:50:51,278 See, I don't like making big speeches. 627 00:50:51,489 --> 00:50:55,220 I'm a straight shooter. I call them like I see them. 628 00:50:55,627 --> 00:50:57,618 What you see is what you get. 629 00:50:58,296 --> 00:51:03,393 Ain't nobody gonna break my stride. Ain't nobody gonna slow me down. 630 00:51:03,602 --> 00:51:06,935 Jake, are you trying to ask me to the...? 631 00:51:07,138 --> 00:51:09,231 Yeah. 632 00:51:09,441 --> 00:51:11,534 I'd love to go with you. 633 00:51:16,247 --> 00:51:18,647 Great. Great. 634 00:51:21,486 --> 00:51:24,148 I'll see you in English. 635 00:51:27,692 --> 00:51:30,422 It's time to play some football! 636 00:51:30,895 --> 00:51:35,923 The John Hughes Wasps take on the North Compton Wildcats. 637 00:51:53,785 --> 00:51:55,412 Goddamn! 638 00:52:02,894 --> 00:52:05,920 That's the fastest half of football ever. 639 00:52:10,835 --> 00:52:14,601 We saw you at our practice. I know you stole our routine. 640 00:52:14,806 --> 00:52:19,573 I don't know what you mean. We do our own cheers. Right, girls? 641 00:52:19,778 --> 00:52:20,767 That's right. 642 00:52:20,979 --> 00:52:24,073 Well then, you better bring it. 643 00:52:24,315 --> 00:52:26,613 Oh, it's already been broughten. 644 00:52:27,285 --> 00:52:29,617 Nice comeback, Priscilla! Yeah! 645 00:52:30,088 --> 00:52:33,114 We are the North Compton Wildcats 646 00:52:33,324 --> 00:52:34,985 We're black, we know it 647 00:52:35,193 --> 00:52:37,320 We shake ourbooty and show it 648 00:52:37,529 --> 00:52:39,520 We ain't white We ain't white 649 00:52:39,764 --> 00:52:42,927 We definitely ain't white Break it down, nigga 650 00:52:48,740 --> 00:52:51,573 Damn, those bitches represent! 651 00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:03,688 -Reggie Ray. -I smell a bet. 652 00:53:04,923 --> 00:53:06,151 You all right? 653 00:53:06,458 --> 00:53:09,518 Coach says it's okay to bleed from the ears. 654 00:53:14,899 --> 00:53:17,959 I got to go back out on the field. 655 00:53:19,370 --> 00:53:22,362 All right. Be careful. You only have three-- 656 00:53:23,308 --> 00:53:26,766 Two concussions left. Reggie Ray. 657 00:53:26,978 --> 00:53:28,639 And we're back. 658 00:53:30,482 --> 00:53:32,382 Let's go, Wasps! 659 00:53:38,990 --> 00:53:40,753 Blue 33! Set! 660 00:53:42,861 --> 00:53:44,658 That's defense right there. 661 00:53:45,930 --> 00:53:48,057 Say "good day" to Reggie Ray. 662 00:53:50,568 --> 00:53:53,628 Sit down. He got the wind knocked out of him. 663 00:53:54,272 --> 00:53:56,467 Come on, Reggie Ray, get up! 664 00:53:57,442 --> 00:53:59,740 You still have another concussion! 665 00:54:02,947 --> 00:54:03,936 Come on, dog! 666 00:54:04,716 --> 00:54:07,048 It doesn't look good, coach. 667 00:54:07,252 --> 00:54:09,311 -Can he play? -He's in a coma. 668 00:54:09,521 --> 00:54:12,615 Answer my question! Can he play? 669 00:54:12,891 --> 00:54:15,724 He can't breathe. Get him to a hospital. 670 00:54:15,927 --> 00:54:17,053 Listen right now! 671 00:54:17,495 --> 00:54:22,831 I don't care what you have to do! He stays in the game, goddamn it! 672 00:54:34,779 --> 00:54:37,680 Holy shit, this motherfucker's heavy. 673 00:54:38,183 --> 00:54:39,480 Blue 1 5! 674 00:54:42,287 --> 00:54:43,777 Set! Hut! 675 00:54:47,725 --> 00:54:49,852 Goddamn it, Reggie Ray! 676 00:54:50,829 --> 00:54:52,194 Aw, shit. 677 00:55:11,416 --> 00:55:14,442 Wham, bam! What the fuck just happened? 678 00:55:17,622 --> 00:55:22,992 Okay, Wyler, I've got no choice. You're the only quarterback I've got. 679 00:55:23,761 --> 00:55:28,061 -I say give the ball to Marty. -I'mjust happy being on the field. 680 00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:33,460 -You'll always wonder, "What if?" -I'm a hero! 681 00:55:35,373 --> 00:55:37,568 Goddamn it! Get in the game! 682 00:55:37,775 --> 00:55:39,402 You're our only chance! 683 00:55:40,812 --> 00:55:44,839 -You're a pussy, Wyler! -Do it for Marty's torso! 684 00:55:48,486 --> 00:55:50,181 You got butterflies, huh? 685 00:55:50,555 --> 00:55:51,647 Who are you? 686 00:55:59,364 --> 00:56:00,922 I'm the wise janitor. 687 00:56:01,132 --> 00:56:04,295 I impart knowledge and help overcome fears. 688 00:56:04,502 --> 00:56:06,697 I also replace the urinal cakes. 689 00:56:06,905 --> 00:56:09,567 I'm here to help you get your throw back. 690 00:56:10,408 --> 00:56:12,399 -How did you--? -I've been watching. 691 00:56:12,610 --> 00:56:17,172 During practice, in the hallways, in the lockers, taking a shower... 692 00:56:17,382 --> 00:56:20,374 ...whipping boys with a wet towel. 693 00:56:20,585 --> 00:56:25,147 -Can tell you kind of like that. -Hey! Let's get back to the throw. 694 00:56:25,356 --> 00:56:28,154 What happened to Marty wasn't your fault. 695 00:56:28,359 --> 00:56:29,348 Really? 696 00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:32,791 Okay, it was. But you got to get over it. 697 00:56:33,097 --> 00:56:35,327 It could've happened to anybody. 698 00:56:35,533 --> 00:56:38,969 Anybody that disobeyed the coach and the team... 699 00:56:39,170 --> 00:56:44,130 ...and threw to a 90-pound kid who shouldn't have been on the field. 700 00:56:44,375 --> 00:56:48,243 Stop! How is any of this supposed to be helping me? 701 00:56:48,446 --> 00:56:50,505 Right. Forget what I said. 702 00:56:50,715 --> 00:56:55,379 You got to go out there, believe in the ball and throw yourself. 703 00:56:55,920 --> 00:56:57,979 You can do it. 704 00:57:02,627 --> 00:57:04,993 I'm going out there. 705 00:57:11,069 --> 00:57:14,527 Only 25 seconds remaining, and the season... 706 00:57:14,739 --> 00:57:19,039 ...rests in the hands of fourth-string quarterback Jake Wyler. 707 00:57:19,243 --> 00:57:22,337 Translation: We're shit out ofluck. 708 00:57:22,747 --> 00:57:24,112 Give me a W! 709 00:57:25,083 --> 00:57:27,176 Give me a Y! 710 00:57:27,418 --> 00:57:30,649 Give me a-- Lick my pussy ass cock shit! 711 00:57:31,456 --> 00:57:34,016 Lick my pussy ass cock shit! 712 00:57:38,363 --> 00:57:39,523 Blue 83! 713 00:57:42,433 --> 00:57:44,298 I reckon I'm feeling better. 714 00:57:44,502 --> 00:57:45,867 Set! Hut! 715 00:58:30,314 --> 00:58:31,474 Shit. 716 00:58:45,763 --> 00:58:50,257 That has to be the worst pass I've ever seen, ever. 717 00:58:52,470 --> 00:58:54,438 What the hell was that? 718 00:59:31,509 --> 00:59:34,876 -You did great out there. -I blew the game, Janey. 719 00:59:35,079 --> 00:59:36,512 I let everyone down. 720 00:59:36,714 --> 00:59:41,515 It's just a football game, Jake. Besides... 721 00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:44,620 ...you didn't let me down. 722 00:59:45,189 --> 00:59:46,417 Really? 723 00:59:47,825 --> 00:59:50,555 Jake, you've taught me to be myself. 724 00:59:50,761 --> 00:59:53,787 You never saw me as the girl in glasses. 725 00:59:53,998 --> 00:59:56,558 Don't forget the paint-covered overalls. 726 00:59:56,767 --> 00:59:59,497 Right, you never noticed those either. 727 01:00:00,505 --> 01:00:02,996 You taught me a lot about myself too. 728 01:00:03,508 --> 01:00:07,706 Oh, Jake. Nothing could ever come between us now. 729 01:00:07,912 --> 01:00:09,174 Jake Wyler. 730 01:00:10,948 --> 01:00:14,384 Congratulations. You blew my perfect season. 731 01:00:14,585 --> 01:00:18,578 -Se�orYou-Blew-My-Perfect-Season. -What do you want, Austin? 732 01:00:18,789 --> 01:00:19,778 A life. 733 01:00:21,559 --> 01:00:22,924 And payback. 734 01:00:23,361 --> 01:00:26,558 -Come on, don't do this. -No, I'll hang around. 735 01:00:26,764 --> 01:00:31,701 Maybe tell Janey a little S-E-C-R-A-T-P.... 736 01:00:35,139 --> 01:00:36,868 What's going on? 737 01:00:38,943 --> 01:00:40,069 This isn't funny! 738 01:00:41,612 --> 01:00:42,601 No. 739 01:00:44,048 --> 01:00:45,276 I don't believe it. 740 01:00:45,483 --> 01:00:50,182 I said I'd turn you into prom queen when I thought you were ugly... 741 01:00:50,388 --> 01:00:55,849 ...the girl with no friends who was dirt poor and smelled a little funky. 742 01:00:56,060 --> 01:00:58,494 Look, I made a mistake. 743 01:00:58,696 --> 01:01:02,894 If I could go back, I never would've made that stupid bet. 744 01:01:06,103 --> 01:01:08,196 What bet? 745 01:01:11,175 --> 01:01:14,667 I never said anything about a bet. 746 01:01:24,589 --> 01:01:25,783 All I said was: 747 01:01:25,990 --> 01:01:27,890 "I'm pretending to whisper... 748 01:01:28,092 --> 01:01:33,189 ...so Jake thinks I'm telling you a secret, and will confess... 749 01:01:33,397 --> 01:01:38,858 ...revealing a secret and confirming everything I whispered in your ear." 750 01:02:04,795 --> 01:02:08,162 I wish I didn't make that bet 751 01:02:08,366 --> 01:02:11,995 That's not the guy I want to be 752 01:02:12,203 --> 01:02:15,661 Ifl couldjust turn back the clock 753 01:02:15,873 --> 01:02:20,810 Then Janey would still be with me 754 01:02:23,714 --> 01:02:26,842 Tell me, Mom, what should I do? 755 01:02:27,218 --> 01:02:28,708 I love this boy 756 01:02:28,919 --> 01:02:33,879 But he has been untrue 757 01:02:36,527 --> 01:02:39,655 I'll do my best to make things right 758 01:02:40,498 --> 01:02:44,161 I wish we could resolve this fight 759 01:02:45,002 --> 01:02:46,833 It could happen 760 01:02:47,038 --> 01:02:48,505 It could happen 761 01:02:48,706 --> 01:02:52,836 At the prom tonight 762 01:02:58,382 --> 01:03:01,351 I'm getting pussy no matter what 763 01:03:01,585 --> 01:03:04,349 Even ifit with dirty slut 764 01:03:04,555 --> 01:03:07,183 True love is what I want the most 765 01:03:07,391 --> 01:03:10,952 Ijustjerked offin yourFrench toast 766 01:03:11,529 --> 01:03:16,057 So what if we have the same mother 767 01:03:17,468 --> 01:03:22,565 Tonight I'm going to fuck my brother 768 01:03:22,973 --> 01:03:25,771 In a few hours I'll be queen of the prom 769 01:03:28,779 --> 01:03:32,374 I've been an alcoholic Since my first tourin Nam 770 01:03:34,719 --> 01:03:38,553 I asked Janey to the prom And she doesn't know why 771 01:03:40,825 --> 01:03:44,488 I'm only in the song because I'm a black guy 772 01:03:47,832 --> 01:03:52,667 I have no money I have to make my own dress 773 01:03:54,472 --> 01:03:59,500 Look at me, my breasts are perky, yes 774 01:04:00,277 --> 01:04:03,269 I'm gonna win herback No matter what it takes 775 01:04:03,481 --> 01:04:08,145 Here I go, I'm gonna forget about Jake 776 01:04:11,489 --> 01:04:13,354 Prom tonight 777 01:04:15,359 --> 01:04:17,259 Prom tonight 778 01:04:18,763 --> 01:04:20,162 Prom tonight 779 01:04:25,603 --> 01:04:28,265 It's gonna happen, gonna happen 780 01:04:31,976 --> 01:04:36,436 At the prom 781 01:04:38,949 --> 01:04:39,973 Tonight 782 01:04:59,136 --> 01:05:05,132 When I was a freshman, I threw 1 76 touchdown passes. 783 01:05:05,443 --> 01:05:10,779 My sophomore year, I ran 14 in on my own with a sprained ankle... 784 01:05:10,981 --> 01:05:15,315 ...a broken phalange, a ruptured duodenum and a subdermal hematoma. 785 01:05:32,436 --> 01:05:34,529 I bet she great bonk. 786 01:05:34,738 --> 01:05:38,139 Excuse me, Bruce? No. You don't bonk Amanda Becker. 787 01:05:38,709 --> 01:05:42,509 You make sweet, sweet love to her. 788 01:05:43,180 --> 01:05:45,444 Amanda Becker's like a flower. 789 01:05:46,050 --> 01:05:47,574 You smell her. 790 01:05:47,785 --> 01:05:49,753 You touch her gently. 791 01:05:50,254 --> 01:05:54,782 You admire the beauty. You watch it blossom. 792 01:05:55,526 --> 01:05:59,929 And you thank God he created something so perfect. 793 01:06:02,633 --> 01:06:04,123 Go to her. 794 01:06:16,714 --> 01:06:18,739 Be strong, Mitch! 795 01:06:31,829 --> 01:06:34,593 What do you expect from me? 796 01:06:35,199 --> 01:06:39,761 -Do you think I'll have sex with you? -No! You don't understand. 797 01:06:39,970 --> 01:06:42,063 Because I am not a cheap slut. 798 01:06:42,273 --> 01:06:46,767 I don't screw every pathetic guy that gives me a letter. 799 01:06:48,913 --> 01:06:51,541 I give them handjobs. 800 01:06:59,390 --> 01:07:02,791 -Want to dance? -Only if we're horizontal. 801 01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:05,988 I totally heard that. 802 01:07:19,543 --> 01:07:21,374 We're dancing. 803 01:07:42,700 --> 01:07:43,689 It's funny. 804 01:07:43,901 --> 01:07:47,962 You'd never suspect everyone here is a professional dancer. 805 01:08:02,086 --> 01:08:03,451 Oh, God. No. 806 01:08:03,654 --> 01:08:06,418 I want to do it here on the dance floor. 807 01:08:07,324 --> 01:08:11,124 Don't you forget our deal. She wins, you're mine. 808 01:08:22,873 --> 01:08:27,003 And now the moment every popular guy who's made a bet... 809 01:08:27,211 --> 01:08:31,807 ...to turn a rebellious girl into prom queen has been waiting for: 810 01:08:32,016 --> 01:08:35,349 The announcement of the prom king and queen. 811 01:08:35,552 --> 01:08:38,077 This year's prom king is... 812 01:08:38,756 --> 01:08:39,780 Marty! 813 01:08:40,491 --> 01:08:42,823 ...Jake Wyler! 814 01:08:57,141 --> 01:08:58,608 Way to go, Jake! 815 01:08:59,176 --> 01:09:02,043 This year's prom queen is.... 816 01:09:02,246 --> 01:09:04,510 You got it, Priscilla! 817 01:09:04,715 --> 01:09:07,309 I don't believe it. It's a tie. 818 01:09:07,851 --> 01:09:08,840 A tie? 819 01:09:09,053 --> 01:09:10,714 -Holy shit! -Oh, my God. 820 01:09:12,389 --> 01:09:14,687 Your new prom queens are... 821 01:09:16,126 --> 01:09:19,618 -...Kara and Sara Fratelli. -Fuck. 822 01:09:20,664 --> 01:09:24,498 -Oh, my God! -They deserve it. 823 01:09:26,904 --> 01:09:28,235 Congratulations! 824 01:09:30,507 --> 01:09:34,238 There we go! Your king and queen. 825 01:09:40,451 --> 01:09:43,614 I say we make like a tree and branch... 826 01:09:44,588 --> 01:09:46,613 ...out of here. 827 01:09:48,325 --> 01:09:49,952 All right, Kara and Sara. 828 01:09:50,160 --> 01:09:53,596 Now, it is traditional for the king and queen... 829 01:09:53,797 --> 01:09:57,426 -...to share a ceremonial dance. -Come here. 830 01:10:07,778 --> 01:10:09,405 You smell good. 831 01:10:29,066 --> 01:10:31,261 Do you know where Austin went? 832 01:10:31,468 --> 01:10:35,495 I know he rented a room at the Sunrise Motel. Room number six. 833 01:10:35,706 --> 01:10:39,870 Past the ice dispenser. Hit the Pepsi machine, you went too far. 834 01:10:40,077 --> 01:10:42,568 Oh, and the door will not be locked. 835 01:10:45,149 --> 01:10:46,514 That's all I know. 836 01:10:47,751 --> 01:10:49,013 Thanks, Malik. 837 01:10:51,355 --> 01:10:56,258 You're intelligent and insightful. You don't get the respect you deserve. 838 01:10:58,929 --> 01:11:01,227 You really mean that, Jake? 839 01:11:01,431 --> 01:11:04,628 That's great! I've always wanted to discuss-- 840 01:11:04,835 --> 01:11:07,235 I actually got to go. Sorry. 841 01:11:07,437 --> 01:11:08,529 Motherfucker. 842 01:11:08,739 --> 01:11:10,604 Hold it right there, mister. 843 01:11:11,108 --> 01:11:16,239 I am not going to let you hurt Janey again, okay? Besides, I love her. 844 01:11:16,446 --> 01:11:17,606 Well, so do l. 845 01:11:18,549 --> 01:11:23,248 But I'm the best friend, and I've been in front of her the whole time... 846 01:11:23,453 --> 01:11:27,514 ...and she just doesn't realize it yet, but she will. 847 01:11:28,091 --> 01:11:31,549 I'm the cool guy who's learned the error of his ways. 848 01:11:31,962 --> 01:11:35,295 She'll forgive my mistakes and realize I love her. 849 01:11:37,067 --> 01:11:38,625 Damn it. That's true. 850 01:11:53,550 --> 01:11:56,815 Why's this door locked? It's a fire hazard! 851 01:12:12,069 --> 01:12:14,128 Get out of the road! 852 01:12:14,338 --> 01:12:15,805 Hey, watch it, man! 853 01:12:17,007 --> 01:12:19,237 She's not attracted to you! 854 01:12:19,810 --> 01:12:21,675 She doesn't love you! 855 01:12:22,679 --> 01:12:25,204 You'll never be more than a friend! 856 01:12:26,216 --> 01:12:28,377 Two dollars! 857 01:12:37,427 --> 01:12:39,622 Ice dispenser. 858 01:12:39,830 --> 01:12:41,229 Six. 859 01:12:41,665 --> 01:12:45,726 Yeah! I'll make you forget all about losing prom queen. 860 01:12:45,936 --> 01:12:49,428 Tell me who your daddy is! Tell me who your papa is! 861 01:12:51,942 --> 01:12:54,206 Get off her, man! 862 01:12:54,411 --> 01:12:55,571 Priscilla. 863 01:12:55,779 --> 01:12:57,246 Don't move. 864 01:13:02,085 --> 01:13:04,918 -What's going on? -Something beautiful. 865 01:13:05,789 --> 01:13:09,020 -Where's Janey? -Miss Run-Home-To-My-Daddy... 866 01:13:09,226 --> 01:13:11,990 ...ran home to her daddy. 867 01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:16,491 -That's for taking Janey to the prom. -You put the-- 868 01:13:16,700 --> 01:13:21,535 -That's for hurting her at the party! -This is really turning me on. 869 01:13:21,972 --> 01:13:24,839 That's for being really weird. 870 01:13:25,075 --> 01:13:26,565 Thank you. 871 01:13:32,115 --> 01:13:34,583 I don't know what that was for. 872 01:13:46,863 --> 01:13:49,832 I never thought I'd hear myself say this... 873 01:13:50,701 --> 01:13:55,570 ...but for once, I wish I could meet a nice, sensitive guy... 874 01:13:56,173 --> 01:13:59,165 ...who wanted more than just sex. 875 01:14:00,444 --> 01:14:03,174 That is very admirable. 876 01:14:06,049 --> 01:14:08,745 I wish a guy would take me out for dinner. 877 01:14:09,353 --> 01:14:10,980 I feel the same way. 878 01:14:13,156 --> 01:14:14,919 And for once... 879 01:14:16,927 --> 01:14:21,159 ...l wish a guy would take a dump on my chest. 880 01:14:23,400 --> 01:14:25,163 That is appalling. 881 01:14:29,606 --> 01:14:31,471 That really upsets me. 882 01:14:32,909 --> 01:14:37,005 I can't believe nobody's ever taken a dump on your chest. 883 01:14:40,650 --> 01:14:42,174 Will you be that guy? 884 01:14:49,059 --> 01:14:52,586 It would be an honor and a privilege. 885 01:15:08,211 --> 01:15:09,303 Hello? 886 01:15:10,213 --> 01:15:12,078 Is anybody home? 887 01:15:12,616 --> 01:15:15,084 Get down! Enemy fire! 888 01:15:16,586 --> 01:15:18,281 Mr. Briggs? 889 01:15:18,488 --> 01:15:21,514 Excuse me, sir. Do you know where Janey is? 890 01:15:21,725 --> 01:15:26,219 She went out there. On her own. There's Charlie everywhere. 891 01:15:26,730 --> 01:15:29,096 Right. Do you know where she went? 892 01:15:29,466 --> 01:15:32,128 Couldn't take it. Went to the airport. 893 01:15:32,335 --> 01:15:37,068 Something about Paris. Her tour was over. 894 01:15:37,340 --> 01:15:39,467 Paris. Thank you, sir. 895 01:15:40,010 --> 01:15:43,673 I need ammo! I can't hold them off much longer! 896 01:15:49,653 --> 01:15:52,679 Off the road, you glasses and ponytail freak! 897 01:16:05,769 --> 01:16:07,031 Two dollars! 898 01:16:07,471 --> 01:16:09,336 -Two dollars! -Two dollars! 899 01:16:15,712 --> 01:16:17,839 Next stop, airport. 900 01:16:18,081 --> 01:16:22,677 The red zone is for the loading and unloading ofpassengers. 901 01:16:22,886 --> 01:16:24,319 No parking. 902 01:16:24,521 --> 01:16:25,783 Attention, please. 903 01:16:25,989 --> 01:16:31,325 All red Porsche 944s parked in the white zone will be towed immediately. 904 01:16:36,633 --> 01:16:40,160 Paris Air, flight 805 to art school in Paris... 905 01:16:40,370 --> 01:16:42,634 ...from gate 122, is now boarding. 906 01:16:56,253 --> 01:16:58,448 Excuse me, everyone! 907 01:16:59,055 --> 01:17:03,253 There's a girl boarding a plane right now to Paris, that I love. 908 01:17:04,895 --> 01:17:08,490 If I don't get there in time and tell her how I feel... 909 01:17:08,698 --> 01:17:11,326 ...l may never see her again. 910 01:17:15,238 --> 01:17:16,364 Go get her, son. 911 01:17:17,407 --> 01:17:18,772 Good luck, young man. 912 01:17:21,244 --> 01:17:22,939 -Go get her! -Go for it. 913 01:17:25,582 --> 01:17:26,947 Oh, hell, just go. 914 01:17:29,753 --> 01:17:30,845 Freeze, bitch! 915 01:17:41,765 --> 01:17:44,256 You're bleeding on my suitcase. 916 01:17:50,540 --> 01:17:51,529 Excuse me! 917 01:17:52,609 --> 01:17:54,042 Excuse me, everyone! 918 01:17:54,978 --> 01:18:00,314 There's a girl about to board a plane to Paris right now that I love-- 919 01:18:01,184 --> 01:18:03,880 We already heard that one. Asshole. 920 01:18:05,722 --> 01:18:10,682 This is the final call forParis Air flight 805 to art school... 921 01:18:10,894 --> 01:18:13,158 ...departing from gate 122. 922 01:18:16,066 --> 01:18:18,296 Hey, shithead, that's mine. 923 01:18:18,501 --> 01:18:19,798 Give it back! 924 01:18:20,303 --> 01:18:24,433 Just believe in the ball, Jake. And throw yourself. 925 01:18:37,220 --> 01:18:38,653 Nice shot, Jake. 926 01:18:41,625 --> 01:18:43,991 Thank God I got to you in time. 927 01:18:45,161 --> 01:18:47,629 I'm not going to let you go to Paris. 928 01:18:48,398 --> 01:18:50,992 -This is the final call... -Why not? 929 01:18:51,201 --> 01:18:53,396 ...for flight 805 to art school. 930 01:18:53,603 --> 01:18:59,405 Ifyou're finding words to stop a girl from leaving, now would be the time. 931 01:19:02,512 --> 01:19:06,243 I made that bet before I knew you. 932 01:19:07,684 --> 01:19:09,675 Before I really knew me. 933 01:19:11,755 --> 01:19:12,915 Oh, Jake. 934 01:19:15,058 --> 01:19:16,787 Okay, hold it right there. 935 01:19:21,064 --> 01:19:24,227 Tell me you didn't quote Freddie Prinze Jr. 936 01:19:26,136 --> 01:19:29,936 I knew it. That was a line from She's All That. 937 01:19:30,140 --> 01:19:32,540 I masturbate to that movie. 938 01:19:36,012 --> 01:19:37,036 Do you mind? 939 01:19:37,247 --> 01:19:40,307 No, not at all. Masturbation's very healthy. 940 01:19:44,020 --> 01:19:49,185 Janey, you said you couldn't believe in someone that didn't believe in you. 941 01:19:49,392 --> 01:19:53,419 Well, I believed in you. I always believed in you. 942 01:19:54,597 --> 01:19:55,586 Oh, Jake. 943 01:19:56,433 --> 01:20:00,267 Oh, God. I can't believe you fell for that crap. 944 01:20:00,470 --> 01:20:03,166 -That's Pretty in Pink. -Are you sure? 945 01:20:03,940 --> 01:20:04,929 Trust me. 946 01:20:05,141 --> 01:20:10,408 -Excuse me. What are you doing? -Let me give you some advice, Jake. 947 01:20:10,613 --> 01:20:14,674 Lose the I'm-The-Cute-And-Sensitive Popular-Boy routine. 948 01:20:14,884 --> 01:20:15,873 It's pathetic. 949 01:20:16,086 --> 01:20:19,453 And tell Janey what's true in your heart. 950 01:20:19,656 --> 01:20:22,352 Stop being such a little bitch. 951 01:20:22,559 --> 01:20:27,929 And you. Miss Other-Side-Of-The-Tracks Awkward-Rebel-With-Glasses. 952 01:20:28,131 --> 01:20:32,192 Wise up to Jake's bullshit. Stop being such a dumb-ass. 953 01:20:35,905 --> 01:20:37,338 She's right. 954 01:20:38,007 --> 01:20:40,237 -Janey.... -Yes, Jake? 955 01:20:42,912 --> 01:20:46,439 Maybe you should get on that plane and go to Paris. 956 01:20:47,851 --> 01:20:51,548 Well, if you stay, we really only have the summer. 957 01:20:51,755 --> 01:20:56,055 Then I go to college. We'll spend the occasional weekend together. 958 01:20:56,259 --> 01:20:57,487 Which is nice. 959 01:20:57,927 --> 01:21:02,728 But chances are, one night I'll get wrecked and have sex with some girl. 960 01:21:02,932 --> 01:21:04,729 You'll call me a slut. 961 01:21:05,268 --> 01:21:08,237 I'll call you a cocktease and we'll break up. 962 01:21:08,438 --> 01:21:12,169 So when you really think about it, what's the point? 963 01:21:15,311 --> 01:21:20,408 Well, that wasn't exactly the kind of truth I was expecting. 964 01:21:22,786 --> 01:21:27,416 But I'm not gonna fall for it. How big a dumb-ass do you think I am? 965 01:21:27,624 --> 01:21:30,286 You obviously stole that from Karate Kid. 966 01:21:31,060 --> 01:21:32,527 No, actually, l-- 967 01:21:33,196 --> 01:21:35,460 Jake, it's okay. 968 01:21:36,199 --> 01:21:37,860 I love you too. 969 01:21:38,067 --> 01:21:40,194 We all know where this is going. 970 01:21:40,403 --> 01:21:42,428 Fucking teenagers. 971 01:21:52,048 --> 01:21:53,276 This is it. 972 01:21:53,483 --> 01:21:54,973 The right moment. 973 01:22:09,699 --> 01:22:11,530 Son of a bitch! 974 01:22:30,954 --> 01:22:32,080 Betty... 975 01:22:33,089 --> 01:22:34,920 ...meet Apollonia. 976 01:22:35,391 --> 01:22:38,121 We're going to have a three-way. 977 01:28:41,090 --> 01:28:44,287 Sun's burned my cornea 978 01:28:44,493 --> 01:28:48,486 I can no longersee 979 01:28:48,698 --> 01:28:54,227 I'm not kidding Somebodyplease fucking help me 980 01:28:57,106 --> 01:28:58,835 Quick! Grab her guitar.