1 00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:35,988 Hey, sexy. 2 00:01:36,229 --> 00:01:37,628 I love that dress. 3 00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:40,799 Of course you do, Lorenzo. You made it. 4 00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:43,534 - Hi, sweetie. - Hey, guys. 5 00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:47,306 - There you are. - Lena. 6 00:01:47,907 --> 00:01:50,239 - You've done it again. - Well, it's all for you, Bradlee. 7 00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:51,774 Gotta mingle. 8 00:01:52,011 --> 00:01:53,706 Oh, the girls are by the pool. 9 00:01:53,913 --> 00:01:58,612 Well, well, well, Lena. So where's this sexy boy toy of yours hiding? 10 00:01:58,818 --> 00:02:00,615 I didn't know you were a football fan, Patrick. 11 00:02:00,820 --> 00:02:04,483 I've never watched a game. I'm just a big fan of his old underwear ads. 12 00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:08,555 Well, he's probably just getting out of the shower. Let me go hurry his ass up. 13 00:02:08,761 --> 00:02:09,955 - Hi. - Hey, babe. 14 00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:16,435 Start of the fourth quarter, and Owens will throw. He's got Brown wide open! 15 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:18,831 You have got to be kidding me. 16 00:02:19,038 --> 00:02:22,064 Honey, just let me finish the game, I'll take you to the movies. 17 00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,137 Take me to the movies? 18 00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:27,676 Hello! There's a huge party going on downstairs. 19 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,111 Remember the catering trucks and the valet parkers? 20 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,284 Oh, shit, I forgot. 21 00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:35,387 I'll tell you what you should forget about. 22 00:02:37,056 --> 00:02:38,080 Football. 23 00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:40,589 Because it's forgotten all about you. 24 00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:44,395 Now, you're going to put this outfit on that I bought you, 25 00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:47,361 drag your drunken ass downstairs 26 00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:51,731 and mingle with my clients like a good boy. 27 00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:54,797 Who am I? Elton John? I ain't wearing that shit. 28 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:58,205 - Yes, you are. - I'm not your trained monkey, honey. 29 00:02:58,411 --> 00:03:01,539 No. You're much more expensive than that. 30 00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:03,345 But I tell you what. 31 00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:06,280 If you're not downstairs in five minutes, 32 00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:08,477 I'm gonna throw you out of my bed, 33 00:03:08,721 --> 00:03:11,781 out of my house and out of my life. 34 00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:14,789 Then you're gonna have to pay for your own bananas. 35 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:19,256 I'm just so mad at you because you're not wearing my gift. 36 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,129 Gift? 37 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:23,669 What gift? 38 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:27,738 It's like a l-love-you gift. I left it in the closet for you. 39 00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:29,668 Really? 40 00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:31,739 Paul, I'm so excited. 41 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,572 I can't believe you did this. 42 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:36,613 - Where'd you put it? - In the back, on the right. 43 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,412 Paul? Paul, what are you doing? 44 00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,746 I think we need some alone time, honey, 45 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,788 so I'm gonna go take a cruise in your Bentley. 46 00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:48,256 Don't you dare take my car, you drunken bastard! 47 00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:51,453 - I own you! - I love you. 48 00:04:12,952 --> 00:04:15,648 Somebody please open this damn door! Patrick? 49 00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:18,187 - Lena? - Patrick. 50 00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:20,489 What happened to you? 51 00:04:20,693 --> 00:04:23,594 He locked me in the closet and left me to die. 52 00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:26,094 Oh, my God, he is deranged! 53 00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,631 He thinks he can mess with me. 54 00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:29,802 911. 55 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:37,599 Oh, man. Here come the party poopers. 56 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:49,748 Well, well, well. I'll be damned. If it isn't Paul Crewe. 57 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,652 So, what did I do wrong? Was I driving poorly? 58 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:55,324 Nope. Nope. This car was reported stolen. 59 00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:58,964 No, no, no. It's actually my girlfriend's car. 60 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:00,656 Shit happens. 61 00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:04,127 Shit does happen. I mean, look what happened to your ears. 62 00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:09,339 I gotta ask you something. Does he get XM Radio with those? 63 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,739 Actually, they get a couple of channels. 64 00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:16,341 It's Paul Crewe. 65 00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:17,846 Another question, though. 66 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,985 Santa Claus. What's he like? 67 00:05:21,621 --> 00:05:24,181 Boy, I hate to arrest a public figure like yourself, 68 00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:26,358 but, hell, I don't think you got too many 69 00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:28,925 endorsement deals to worry about, now, do you? 70 00:05:29,128 --> 00:05:31,858 Now, listen here, Mr. Frodo. Don't get short with me. 71 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:37,097 That was good. I mean, he's good. 72 00:05:38,204 --> 00:05:40,934 Man. I hope you got a lot of money for that game you threw, 73 00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:43,404 because that was the most pathetic thing I ever saw. 74 00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:45,742 Now, step out of the vehicle, Mr. Crewe. 75 00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:49,642 Don't you think I should pull the car over more? I could get sideswiped. 76 00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:52,818 You're slurring your words a bit there, Paul. You been drinking tonight? 77 00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:57,422 Absolutely not. Now, could you do me a favor? Hold this beer while I back it up. 78 00:06:02,895 --> 00:06:07,161 Hey, you can finish that one. I got five more. Take care, guys. 79 00:06:08,901 --> 00:06:10,994 We got a 3-94 in progress. 80 00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:31,619 Okay, remain calm. 81 00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:35,885 How you doing? What's up? What's up? What's up? 82 00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:43,263 What you are watching is live footage of a vehicle, apparently stolen, 83 00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:44,959 being pursued by police. 84 00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:48,072 We're receiving word now that the driver of that vehicle 85 00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:51,175 is former Pittsburgh football star Paul Crewe. 86 00:06:51,377 --> 00:06:52,935 Crewe, you might remember, 87 00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:56,673 was the only man ever to be indicted on federal racketeering charges 88 00:06:56,883 --> 00:06:59,317 for shaving points in a professional football game, 89 00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:01,146 although it was never fully proven. 90 00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:05,719 Yeah! 91 00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:13,761 - Hello. - Do not get one more scratch 92 00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:16,491 on my car, or I will slit your throat. 93 00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:20,767 See, that's our problem, sweetie. 94 00:07:20,973 --> 00:07:23,567 You care about this car more than you do us. 95 00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,472 And how'd you even know there was a scratch on this baby? 96 00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:30,672 Because I am watching you on TV, as is the whole country. 97 00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:32,646 Once again, you are proving to everyone 98 00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:35,343 what a worthless piece of shit you are. 99 00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:39,684 Well, I hope they like this. 100 00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:02,103 Hey, Lena! 101 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,876 I think we should start seeing other people! 102 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:10,679 I think I'm in love. 103 00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:15,759 Good news, boys, I didn't spill my beer. 104 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:20,032 Without question, Crewe's five-year federal probation for point-shaving 105 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:22,201 has been severely violated tonight. 106 00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:25,859 The future of this once-great football star looks very dark indeed. 107 00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:52,253 Long way from the big city, huh, superstar? 108 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,228 Staying with the times around here, huh? 109 00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:05,240 Ain't she beautiful? 110 00:09:23,696 --> 00:09:25,527 Home sweet home, boy. 111 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,028 Get on your feet. 112 00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:33,263 You're one lucky son of a bitch, Crewe. 113 00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:35,497 - Is that right? - That's right. 114 00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:38,006 See, the warden loves his football. 115 00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:41,270 Fact, he was on the winning side of your little thing. 116 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,449 - Well, tell him congratulations. - But I wasn't. 117 00:09:47,119 --> 00:09:48,416 Welcome to Allenville. 118 00:09:48,821 --> 00:09:51,619 Thank you, sergeant. I'll take it from here. 119 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,994 - Afternoon, inmate Crewe. - Yeah. 120 00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:59,221 Come on. Warden wants to see you. 121 00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:00,889 Let's do it. 122 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:02,391 Move it. 123 00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:27,556 I used to play a little college ball myself. 124 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,728 Down at the University of Miami. 125 00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:32,329 I bet a lot of your old teammates are locked up in here. 126 00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:35,967 No inmates from my playing days. Couple of guards, though. 127 00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:38,966 See, we got us a fine prison-guard league down here. 128 00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:42,902 It's like a company softball team. 129 00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:45,336 Now, the warden... 130 00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:48,309 ...he's gonna ask you to help out. 131 00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:50,106 Okay. With what? 132 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,113 That wasn't nice. 133 00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:02,861 When the warden asks you, 134 00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:04,324 what are you gonna say? 135 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,125 Yes? 136 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:18,674 You're gonna tell him "no." You got it? 137 00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,535 You're gonna tell the warden 138 00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:24,045 that you want nothing to do with his football fantasies. 139 00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:27,052 Not in my back yard. 140 00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:32,480 Because the warden don't run this prison. I do. 141 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,818 You understand? 142 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:35,727 Not entirely. 143 00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:44,365 Okay. I feel you, dog. I feel you. 144 00:11:46,605 --> 00:11:49,233 Paul "Wrecking" Crewe. 145 00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,410 I don't get to say this to my new guests very often, 146 00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:54,101 but it's an honor to have you here at this institution. 147 00:11:54,313 --> 00:11:56,611 It's an honor to be locked up here, sir. 148 00:11:58,184 --> 00:12:00,550 Oh, well, this is Errol Dandridge. 149 00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:04,349 Colonel Sanders been eating his own chicken. 150 00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,191 He's my political adviser. 151 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:10,294 See, I've been approached by several very influential people 152 00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:13,795 wondering if I'd be interested in standing for governor. 153 00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:18,527 They see the way I run this prison, think maybe I should run this state. 154 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,372 Only with less sodomy, right? 155 00:12:26,645 --> 00:12:28,272 Hopefully none. 156 00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,048 Sorry. 157 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:35,713 Now, there are two things we take very seriously here in the state of Texas. 158 00:12:36,188 --> 00:12:39,021 Prison and football. 159 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:41,123 We play a little of the latter here. 160 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:45,661 The warden is too modest to admit that his team is rather good. 161 00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:47,455 But not good enough. 162 00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:51,034 Five years since our last championship. 163 00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:52,766 Five years. 164 00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:56,032 Now, I've worked real hard, pulled strings, 165 00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:58,608 called in quite a few favors to get you here, Paul. 166 00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,708 Now, why would you go and do that? 167 00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:05,350 Because I am convinced that you can get us back on track. 168 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:12,084 I haven't played football in I don't know how long. I don't really want to. 169 00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:15,658 You wouldn't be playing, Paul. Just consulting. 170 00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:18,455 Anyone who was once the MVP of the National Football League 171 00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:21,258 must have a great deal of expertise to offer. 172 00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:25,225 Captain, what would you say to Mr. Crewe looking in, 173 00:13:25,437 --> 00:13:27,905 giving us the benefit of his experience? 174 00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:32,373 I think that's a real good idea, warden. We can use all the help we can get. 175 00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:35,409 Well, then, it's all settled. 176 00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:36,973 What you say, Paul? 177 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:41,282 I appreciate the offer, but I'm gonna have to pass. 178 00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:48,215 Now, I can assure you 179 00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:52,523 that your time here will be a whole lot easier if you just participate. 180 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:58,129 I just wanna do my time and go home. Nothing else. 181 00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,872 If you'll excuse us, Mr. Crewe. 182 00:14:04,376 --> 00:14:06,537 Captain Knauer, you can stay. 183 00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:12,416 Sit down! 184 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:18,979 I used to love your underwear commercials. 185 00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,256 Thank you very much. 186 00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:25,658 My ex-husband wore the same brand of tighty whities. 187 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:30,832 He didn't fill them out quite as well as you, though. 188 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:34,828 Special effects. Hollywood. Not all me. 189 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,168 Oh, I doubt that very seriously. 190 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:41,346 Well, then get him enthusiastic, damn it! 191 00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:43,444 Come on, get up. 192 00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:45,674 How'd it go in there? We all set now? 193 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,750 Oh, yeah, we're real tight. 194 00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:03,627 Only the finest for you, superstar. 195 00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:10,030 I was just playing. 196 00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:17,412 I ain't gonna forget you, Crewe. 197 00:15:17,616 --> 00:15:19,709 Hey, yo, you owe me money on that game, punk! 198 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,580 Better watch yourself, Mr. Football! 199 00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:22,981 Bitch! 200 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,563 Yeah, you better run, woman. 201 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,965 Yo, football. 202 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,100 Take a seat. 203 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,161 Thanks. 204 00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:43,205 You know, I have never seen one inmate just walk in here 205 00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:46,503 and be unanimously hated by the entire population. 206 00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:49,044 - I ain't never seen it. - How'd I get so lucky? 207 00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:51,113 You could have robbed banks, sold crack, 208 00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:53,842 stole your grandmama's pension, and nobody would have cared. 209 00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:57,545 But shaving points off a football game? Man, that's just un-American. 210 00:15:57,756 --> 00:15:59,951 - You play football? - Me? No. 211 00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:03,185 I suck so bad, they used to pick me after the white kids. 212 00:16:03,395 --> 00:16:07,126 Used to be mad too. It's like, "I can't believe I picked a nigga that can't play." 213 00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:10,325 - Caretaker. - Paul Crewe. 214 00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:13,004 Whatever your pleasure, I can facilitate. 215 00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:16,333 You need weed, you need meth... Hey, you need Prozac, I'm your man. 216 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,772 I know how you white boys always deal with that depression. 217 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,242 I mean, me personally, I don't understand what you white boys 218 00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:23,472 all depressed about. Hey, you're white. Smile. 219 00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:27,950 And for a small fee, I can even get you McDonald's. 220 00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:29,780 - Really? - Yeah, that's right. Mickey D's. 221 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,718 My man Cheeseburger Eddy got the hookup. 222 00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:32,891 Cheeseburger Eddy? 223 00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:34,923 That's right. We can get our McFlurry on. 224 00:16:35,127 --> 00:16:36,822 Enjoy it, fat man. 225 00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:39,156 What about the love of a beautiful woman? 226 00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:41,856 Well, you're gonna have to lower your standards 227 00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:44,035 on the beautiful part and on the woman part. 228 00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:46,101 Hey. 229 00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,302 Let's just stick with the cheeseburgers. 230 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:51,704 Oh, they ugly now, but in eight months, he gonna look like Beyonc�. 231 00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:52,877 No, thanks. 232 00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:55,012 Now, here's the most important part. 233 00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:57,580 You can't let these guys scare you. You can't let them punk you. 234 00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:00,513 Because if you do that, you gonna end up being somebody's bitch. 235 00:17:00,986 --> 00:17:03,511 Don't want that. Thanks for the advice. 236 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,057 Hey. Let me take that tray out for you. 237 00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:13,826 I ain't done eating yet. 238 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,830 Oh, you're not? I'll give it back to you, then. 239 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,527 You're dead! 240 00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:29,374 Hornet's Nest! 241 00:17:42,094 --> 00:17:43,356 Everybody stay down. 242 00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:44,927 Stay quiet! 243 00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:51,330 Come on, Crewe, get up. 244 00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:53,303 Get up, superstar. 245 00:17:54,339 --> 00:17:55,306 Yes, sir. 246 00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:58,635 You think you can do anything you want around here, don't you? 247 00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:01,404 Well, you are no different than any other piece of shit 248 00:18:01,613 --> 00:18:03,342 that calls this place home. 249 00:18:03,882 --> 00:18:07,477 Really? These guys think you're a dumb redneck too? 250 00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:10,685 Girl, that's your new boo. 251 00:18:17,863 --> 00:18:19,990 You better cut that shit out. It's getting old. 252 00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:22,523 That's gonna cost you. 253 00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:24,199 Looking forward to it. 254 00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:20,217 Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. 255 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:24,056 Hey, superdick. 256 00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:29,159 Warden's wondering if your stay in the hotbox has changed your mind. 257 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,330 How long have I been in here? 258 00:19:31,537 --> 00:19:34,005 One week. Wanna go for two? 259 00:19:42,147 --> 00:19:43,774 How'd you find these guys anyways? 260 00:19:43,982 --> 00:19:45,108 Recruitment, boy. 261 00:19:45,317 --> 00:19:48,650 When college stars don't get drafted, they need a place to go. 262 00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:51,914 A job, money, security. 263 00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:54,820 Who drank all the damn Gatorade?! 264 00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:56,787 Damn it! 265 00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:58,587 And apparently steroids. 266 00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:02,530 Look, seems like you got all the talent you'd want. So why do you need me? 267 00:20:02,734 --> 00:20:04,599 Well, now, you might find this hard to believe, 268 00:20:04,803 --> 00:20:07,636 but there's folks here in the prison league don't care for me very much. 269 00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:10,933 - You, warden? - They thought it might be amusing 270 00:20:11,143 --> 00:20:13,771 to schedule the defending league champs as our first game. 271 00:20:13,979 --> 00:20:16,641 And me? Well, I thought an old pro like yourself 272 00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:20,716 might have some training-camp tricks, drills, insights to offer up. 273 00:20:20,919 --> 00:20:22,614 Give us the competitive edge. 274 00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:26,884 All right. Relatively simple. You need a tune-up game. 275 00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:28,059 A tune-up game? 276 00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:30,888 Yeah. In college, we'd start every season against Appalachian State 277 00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:32,688 or some slack Division II team. 278 00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:36,129 Kick the living shit out of them. Get their confidence up. 279 00:20:37,669 --> 00:20:39,261 You know something, Paul? 280 00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:41,803 - You've just given me an inspiration. - That's great. What? 281 00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:44,976 You're gonna assemble a team to play the first game against us. 282 00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:48,510 And you, Mr. Crewe, are gonna be the quarterback. 283 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,005 I don't think so. 284 00:20:50,215 --> 00:20:51,546 Let me tell you something. 285 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,742 In my prison, to get along, you gotta go along. 286 00:20:54,953 --> 00:20:57,114 I just wanna do my three years and be done. 287 00:20:57,322 --> 00:21:00,086 Three years is before you assaulted Captain Knauer. 288 00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:04,521 Now, you could be with us for a very long time, Mr. Crewe. 289 00:21:06,632 --> 00:21:08,156 Fine, I'll do it. 290 00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:10,258 Good choice. 291 00:21:11,703 --> 00:21:13,762 But one condition, though. 292 00:21:13,972 --> 00:21:16,702 Gotta promise me to keep Captain Knauer off my back. 293 00:21:16,908 --> 00:21:17,875 It's a deal. 294 00:21:18,076 --> 00:21:20,670 Now, you got four weeks to assemble a team and train them. 295 00:21:20,879 --> 00:21:24,076 What, are we gonna have a half-hour a day to practice with a Nerf ball? 296 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:27,878 Oh, I'll make sure my boys allow you sufficient freedom, within these walls, 297 00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:29,883 to get your team in shape. 298 00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:37,357 What's this? "Football 'tree-outs."' 299 00:21:37,562 --> 00:21:38,893 What the hell is a "tree-out"? 300 00:21:39,097 --> 00:21:40,928 "Tryout," you half a meatball. 301 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:44,125 - What's this football thing about, man? - Crewe's getting a team together. 302 00:21:44,336 --> 00:21:46,861 - To play against who? - The guards. 303 00:21:47,072 --> 00:21:50,735 Now, I don't know about y'all, but I occasionally have the impulse 304 00:21:50,942 --> 00:21:53,740 to physically assault one of our finer correctional officers. 305 00:21:53,945 --> 00:21:56,140 Yeah? Well, how the hell we gonna get to do that? 306 00:21:56,348 --> 00:21:59,249 Just show up at the "tree-outs," you big, dumb bitch. 307 00:22:00,686 --> 00:22:02,085 Do the girls get to play? 308 00:22:02,287 --> 00:22:05,120 We're playing footballs, not balls-balls. 309 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:08,623 This is bullshit. Just another chance for the guards to beat on us. 310 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:11,853 Don't you idiots get it? We could get a free shot at the guards. 311 00:22:12,064 --> 00:22:14,498 This is our turn. We could beat up on them. 312 00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:16,258 We could kill them. 313 00:22:17,202 --> 00:22:18,669 Kill them. 314 00:22:24,443 --> 00:22:27,571 You know MVP sold his own teammates out. 315 00:22:28,213 --> 00:22:30,909 What do you think he's gonna do to you fools? 316 00:22:32,317 --> 00:22:35,718 And that's the truth. With some cheese on it. 317 00:22:36,488 --> 00:22:38,456 There ain't no meat loaf between these buns. 318 00:22:38,657 --> 00:22:40,989 Yo, man, that's my flier, man! I worked hard on it! 319 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:44,321 You see? He ran like a little bitch, right? You saw that, right? 320 00:22:45,130 --> 00:22:47,155 Yo, team needs you. Team needs you. 321 00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:50,233 You sh... You come to the tr... Come to the tree-outs. 322 00:22:55,707 --> 00:22:58,175 Crappy field, shit-ass equipment... 323 00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:01,403 Hey, man, at least we got some world-class players over there. 324 00:23:03,782 --> 00:23:05,545 Forty-five. 325 00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:08,377 Forty-six. 326 00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:11,016 Forty-seven. 327 00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:12,417 He might make the team. 328 00:23:12,624 --> 00:23:14,990 Well, if we gotta cut him, you're doing it. 329 00:23:15,193 --> 00:23:16,888 Forty-nine. 330 00:23:17,829 --> 00:23:19,353 Fifty. 331 00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:20,792 - All right, man. - Good job, man. 332 00:23:20,999 --> 00:23:23,467 Well, well, well. You a football player? 333 00:23:23,668 --> 00:23:26,660 Oh, no. I never played no football, mister. 334 00:23:26,872 --> 00:23:30,035 So, what happened? You read the flier, thought it looked like some fun? 335 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:31,937 - Oh, I can't read. - Oh, don't worry. 336 00:23:32,144 --> 00:23:33,338 Reading's for rich people. 337 00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:37,908 So you know, we're putting together a football team. Love you to join. 338 00:23:38,517 --> 00:23:40,246 Will you teach me to football? 339 00:23:40,452 --> 00:23:42,682 Sure we'll teach you to football. Won't we, Caretaker? 340 00:23:42,888 --> 00:23:45,083 Hey, I'll teach you anything. Just don't eat me. 341 00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:48,223 Okay. 342 00:23:49,895 --> 00:23:52,056 Down, Shrek. Down! 343 00:23:52,798 --> 00:23:57,462 Okay, bring it in. Whoever's trying out for the team, wake up. 344 00:23:57,669 --> 00:23:59,159 Can you give a brother a little hustle? 345 00:23:59,571 --> 00:24:01,061 Very good. 346 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:03,867 For those of you who don't know who I am, I'm Paul Crewe. 347 00:24:04,075 --> 00:24:08,034 I'm gonna be your coach, your captain, your quarterback. 348 00:24:08,246 --> 00:24:10,237 You haven't played in years. Why can't I be quarterback? 349 00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:12,440 - You're right. Let's see what you got. - All right. 350 00:24:12,651 --> 00:24:14,778 - Hit me, I'm open. - Hike, hike! Hike! 351 00:24:15,153 --> 00:24:17,121 That's why. Now, sit down and shut up. 352 00:24:17,322 --> 00:24:19,222 It slipped. I just ate popcorn. 353 00:24:19,424 --> 00:24:22,655 Question: Any of you gentlemen ever play football before? 354 00:24:23,562 --> 00:24:25,462 - You did? Where? - Kansas State. 355 00:24:25,664 --> 00:24:27,859 Are you shitting me? For Coach Snyder? 356 00:24:28,333 --> 00:24:29,698 Kansas State Prison. 357 00:24:31,002 --> 00:24:34,028 Now, I hear they have the softest mattresses out there. 358 00:24:34,239 --> 00:24:35,570 Yeah, they do. 359 00:24:35,774 --> 00:24:37,969 Not as soft as the ones at West Texas Mental Institution. 360 00:24:38,176 --> 00:24:40,804 - Really? - Let's finish this conversation later. 361 00:24:41,012 --> 00:24:44,106 For now, I wanna see what you got out there. 362 00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:46,511 We'll grade them on a scale of one to ten. 363 00:24:46,718 --> 00:24:48,879 Move it! Hustle, hustle, hustle! 364 00:24:49,087 --> 00:24:52,113 Give these guys sixes. Give these guys fives. 365 00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:54,758 Good. Good. Give them threes. 366 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,291 Very nice! 367 00:24:57,596 --> 00:25:00,588 - Aren't we missing somebody? - Where's the Kansas State guy? 368 00:25:03,301 --> 00:25:06,600 You assholes better not cut me! I'm still on this team! 369 00:25:07,839 --> 00:25:08,863 Negative two. 370 00:25:09,074 --> 00:25:11,099 All right, go with negative two. 371 00:25:11,309 --> 00:25:14,506 Hey! Somebody bring me a Diet Coke! 372 00:25:14,746 --> 00:25:16,771 - Let's do this! - That's it! 373 00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:18,911 Five. 374 00:25:19,484 --> 00:25:21,384 Good. Seven. 375 00:25:22,153 --> 00:25:24,417 Stupid tire! You're a fricking tire! 376 00:25:24,623 --> 00:25:27,854 You think you're better than me?! I'll kick your ass! 377 00:25:29,294 --> 00:25:30,261 Three. 378 00:25:32,330 --> 00:25:33,354 And a half? 379 00:25:33,965 --> 00:25:35,933 Yeah. That's better. 380 00:25:36,134 --> 00:25:37,601 Okay. Good. 381 00:25:38,270 --> 00:25:40,932 Yeah. Hit that bag, man. There you go, man. 382 00:25:41,139 --> 00:25:42,106 Four. 383 00:25:44,476 --> 00:25:46,273 - Five. I don't know. - I go. 384 00:25:46,478 --> 00:25:48,139 Come on, Switowski! 385 00:25:49,748 --> 00:25:52,308 Daddy! 386 00:25:53,652 --> 00:25:54,983 Oh, man! 387 00:25:55,287 --> 00:25:57,187 - Look at that. - He got it off the hinge. 388 00:25:57,389 --> 00:25:59,983 - I think that's a ten. - Let's go with a ten. 389 00:26:00,191 --> 00:26:03,558 I'm sorry. I "brokeded" your toy. 390 00:26:03,762 --> 00:26:06,890 No, that's a good thing. You should have a victory hug with Caretaker. 391 00:26:07,098 --> 00:26:09,862 What? What you talking about, man? Hey! 392 00:26:12,337 --> 00:26:13,304 Asshole! 393 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,902 Okay, fellas, it's pretty simple. You do a buttonhook. 394 00:26:18,109 --> 00:26:20,600 The rest of you guys block for me. I'll take care of the rest. 395 00:26:20,812 --> 00:26:22,905 Okay? On "go." On "go." 396 00:26:23,114 --> 00:26:25,048 Ready? Break! 397 00:26:28,153 --> 00:26:29,347 We'll work on that. 398 00:26:30,088 --> 00:26:33,854 Okay, half speed on this one, guys. Slow and easy. 399 00:26:34,059 --> 00:26:35,026 Ready?! 400 00:26:35,727 --> 00:26:36,819 Go! 401 00:26:43,802 --> 00:26:45,099 Stop it! 402 00:26:51,309 --> 00:26:52,799 Stop the violence! 403 00:26:53,011 --> 00:26:55,502 Can't we all get along? 404 00:27:05,056 --> 00:27:06,956 - Hey, Paul. - Unger. 405 00:27:07,158 --> 00:27:09,285 - Team's looking great. - Oh, yeah. 406 00:27:09,494 --> 00:27:11,223 - So are you. - Yep. Working on it. 407 00:27:11,429 --> 00:27:16,560 The blood of the guards is gonna flow like the rivers of ancient Babylon. 408 00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:20,226 That's good news. Unger, you're the man. 409 00:27:21,673 --> 00:27:25,234 Good job today. You're all starting to look really sharp out there. Yeah. 410 00:27:25,443 --> 00:27:26,740 See you tomorrow. 411 00:27:27,579 --> 00:27:30,377 - We're gonna suck. - Yeah. No doubt about it. 412 00:27:44,629 --> 00:27:46,597 You look like you could use a little help. 413 00:27:46,798 --> 00:27:51,098 No offense, my man, but you're a little seasoned. 414 00:27:51,302 --> 00:27:52,291 Seasoned? 415 00:27:52,504 --> 00:27:55,837 I'm not asking to play. I'll coach. I'm Nate Scarborough. 416 00:27:56,341 --> 00:27:58,002 Nate Scarborough? 417 00:27:59,210 --> 00:28:01,110 The Heisman Trophy winner from Oklahoma? 418 00:28:02,247 --> 00:28:05,239 The inmate from cellblock D. 419 00:28:05,450 --> 00:28:08,908 But about a hundred years ago, when I could run and gun, 420 00:28:09,387 --> 00:28:11,878 yeah, I was a Sooner then. 421 00:28:12,090 --> 00:28:13,717 I heard you were dead. 422 00:28:13,925 --> 00:28:18,021 No, I ain't dead. I've been right here, rotting. 423 00:28:18,229 --> 00:28:21,892 Waiting for a chance to get back at those sadistic guards. 424 00:28:22,133 --> 00:28:25,000 Waiting. For this. 425 00:28:25,203 --> 00:28:26,363 Well, coach, as you can see, 426 00:28:26,571 --> 00:28:29,335 we don't exactly have the cream of the crop to work with here. 427 00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:31,771 Well, what are we gonna do? How are we gonna find players? 428 00:28:31,976 --> 00:28:34,171 How'd they get you to go to Florida State? 429 00:28:34,879 --> 00:28:35,937 They recruited me. 430 00:28:37,816 --> 00:28:39,545 I'll get the strippers. 431 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:46,012 Well, now, Lindsay, this isn't about credit or congratulations. 432 00:28:46,224 --> 00:28:48,988 This is about giving men who've made mistakes in their lives 433 00:28:49,194 --> 00:28:51,526 an opportunity to rise above themselves. 434 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:54,494 To move beyond the bars of containment. 435 00:28:54,999 --> 00:28:55,988 Say what? 436 00:28:56,835 --> 00:28:59,099 What I would do to you. 437 00:29:11,116 --> 00:29:12,981 Yeah. Nice boot, skin man. 438 00:29:13,184 --> 00:29:15,414 Hey, why does he get to be the kicker? I was All-State, man. 439 00:29:15,620 --> 00:29:17,383 Let's see what you got. 440 00:29:17,589 --> 00:29:19,250 That's why, you dumb-ass. 441 00:29:19,457 --> 00:29:21,254 Just go do some laps. 442 00:29:21,693 --> 00:29:23,217 I heard you boys needed to see me. 443 00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:25,191 Yeah. I want you to meet Skitchy. 444 00:29:25,396 --> 00:29:27,990 Hey, dog. Check that building over there. 445 00:29:28,233 --> 00:29:30,531 They keep all the records in the basement. 446 00:29:30,735 --> 00:29:33,033 He's been here so long, he knows where everything is. 447 00:29:33,238 --> 00:29:35,263 That ain't necessarily a good thing, is it? 448 00:29:35,473 --> 00:29:39,273 I had a parole date in '86. But I got in a tussle with a guard and... 449 00:29:39,477 --> 00:29:40,876 One punch and it went away. 450 00:29:41,079 --> 00:29:42,671 Twenty extra years for one punch? 451 00:29:42,881 --> 00:29:44,906 Well, unfortunately for him, the guard he punched 452 00:29:45,116 --> 00:29:46,981 just happens to be the warden now. 453 00:29:47,185 --> 00:29:48,948 Oh, shit. Warden Hazen? 454 00:29:49,154 --> 00:29:50,280 "Oh, shit" is right. 455 00:29:52,490 --> 00:29:54,822 Fight in the yard. Send backup. 456 00:29:55,493 --> 00:29:56,858 Right on time. 457 00:29:57,061 --> 00:29:59,120 - Let's do it. - Let's do it. 458 00:30:03,835 --> 00:30:06,497 Ain't you guys glad you got a black man for a friend? 459 00:30:06,704 --> 00:30:08,296 - Hell, yeah. - Come on. 460 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:18,205 Hazen has a rating system for every con. 461 00:30:18,416 --> 00:30:19,713 What's three stars? 462 00:30:19,918 --> 00:30:24,753 The more prone to violence that the inmate is, the more stars he gets. 463 00:30:24,956 --> 00:30:26,355 Five stars is the max. 464 00:30:26,558 --> 00:30:30,085 I didn't know that. Let's see how many stars my maniacal ass got. 465 00:30:33,364 --> 00:30:37,164 Half a star? That's gotta be a mistake. Check it again. Check it again. 466 00:30:37,368 --> 00:30:39,336 You're about as maniacal as a boxful of kittens. 467 00:30:39,537 --> 00:30:40,697 Come on, that's not funny, man. 468 00:30:40,905 --> 00:30:43,430 I'm gonna have to stab somebody or something. Get my rep up. 469 00:30:43,641 --> 00:30:46,906 Why don't we have a maniacal pillow fight tonight. That could get it up some. 470 00:30:47,312 --> 00:30:49,644 Yeah. We can sell it to pay-per-view. 471 00:30:49,848 --> 00:30:52,817 Superstar Versus Half-a-Star. 472 00:30:53,418 --> 00:30:56,478 Why don't you shut up before I slit your throat and watch the dust come out. 473 00:30:56,688 --> 00:30:58,417 Come on, guys, we only got a couple minutes. 474 00:30:59,157 --> 00:31:00,124 How about this guy? 475 00:31:00,325 --> 00:31:03,123 Damn, this fool got the chair three times, ain't died yet. 476 00:31:03,328 --> 00:31:05,159 Well, we may not have the most talented team, 477 00:31:05,363 --> 00:31:07,797 but we will definitely have the meanest. 478 00:31:43,034 --> 00:31:46,367 - What's he doing that for? - Because he's a freak. 479 00:31:46,771 --> 00:31:49,797 Hey, Sasquatch! Someone's here to see you! 480 00:31:50,008 --> 00:31:52,135 Not too smart on your part. 481 00:31:55,546 --> 00:31:57,241 Hey. 482 00:31:58,082 --> 00:32:00,107 How's the headbanging coming? 483 00:32:02,620 --> 00:32:04,645 You're bleeding. Just so you know. 484 00:32:06,691 --> 00:32:09,558 People have told me that you and I look a lot alike, 485 00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:11,991 so I wanted to see for myself. 486 00:32:14,132 --> 00:32:15,759 I'm gonna take a piss. 487 00:32:16,634 --> 00:32:19,398 You scared him away, dumbshit. 488 00:32:24,909 --> 00:32:28,037 You're kidding. Five-star Torres likes The View? 489 00:32:28,246 --> 00:32:29,543 No, just Joy Behar. 490 00:32:29,747 --> 00:32:32,614 The good news is she can breast-feed standing up. That's it. 491 00:32:34,719 --> 00:32:36,949 Where does she come up with this shit? 492 00:32:38,456 --> 00:32:41,448 I'm a Star Jones man myself. I love that big bitch. 493 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,621 That was, like, the furthest thing. 494 00:32:43,828 --> 00:32:45,420 I got married so young, so, I mean, 495 00:32:45,630 --> 00:32:47,894 they weren't pressuring me, the society was pressuring me... 496 00:32:48,099 --> 00:32:49,589 Mr. Torres. 497 00:32:49,801 --> 00:32:52,292 Us convicts are starting up a football team. 498 00:32:52,503 --> 00:32:53,868 Not interested. 499 00:32:54,439 --> 00:32:55,701 We're playing the guards. 500 00:32:57,642 --> 00:32:58,939 Walk away. 501 00:32:59,777 --> 00:33:01,210 Good idea. 502 00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:03,079 0 for 2. 503 00:33:03,481 --> 00:33:05,449 You're putting the pressure on her right now. 504 00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:07,049 Show's over, amigo. 505 00:33:07,585 --> 00:33:10,577 I still got 15 minutes of Joy Behar. 506 00:33:10,788 --> 00:33:15,282 Well, I'm cutting you short. Back to your cell, asswipe. 507 00:33:15,693 --> 00:33:16,921 Hey, white boy. 508 00:33:19,664 --> 00:33:21,495 Cherryhead gonna play? 509 00:33:22,467 --> 00:33:23,695 Yes, he is. 510 00:33:29,907 --> 00:33:31,602 Crewe, don't forget, I'm gonna be open. 511 00:33:32,210 --> 00:33:33,575 Green 40! Hut! 512 00:33:39,817 --> 00:33:41,250 Damn! 513 00:33:42,820 --> 00:33:45,550 Brucie. Brucie. You all right? You breathing? 514 00:33:46,124 --> 00:33:49,059 I got a bird. His name is Ronnie. 515 00:33:49,260 --> 00:33:52,161 Well, tell Ronnie you got knocked the fuck out. 516 00:33:55,099 --> 00:33:59,365 Wow, no bullshit. Real football? Against the guards? 517 00:33:59,570 --> 00:34:00,730 Full contact. 518 00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:02,666 Captain Knauer is their quarterback? 519 00:34:03,941 --> 00:34:07,069 - Yep. - So I get to tackle him? 520 00:34:07,278 --> 00:34:10,076 Yeah. You can either tackle him or hit him over the head with that hammer. 521 00:34:11,516 --> 00:34:14,007 I wanna hurt him. Not kill him. 522 00:34:14,352 --> 00:34:16,411 Let's get out of here before that thing bites somebody. 523 00:34:16,621 --> 00:34:19,818 All right. We'll see you and your pet iguana at practice. 524 00:34:21,259 --> 00:34:22,817 Down, set! 525 00:34:26,030 --> 00:34:27,395 Hut! Hut! 526 00:34:31,302 --> 00:34:32,428 Hey! 527 00:34:33,471 --> 00:34:35,063 - Hit me. - Get rid of it. 528 00:34:36,074 --> 00:34:37,598 Get rid of it! 529 00:34:39,343 --> 00:34:40,742 He didn't get rid of it. 530 00:34:42,780 --> 00:34:44,111 Sacked your ass. 531 00:34:45,116 --> 00:34:47,584 Somebody's gotta get open, guys. 532 00:34:47,785 --> 00:34:49,252 You got hammered by the hammer. 533 00:34:49,454 --> 00:34:52,480 I think I felt it on my leg. We gotta get some speed, man. 534 00:34:52,690 --> 00:34:54,590 What'd you expect? You got no brothers out there. 535 00:34:54,792 --> 00:34:56,555 What are you talking about? We got Switowski. 536 00:34:57,528 --> 00:34:59,689 Switowski? That's one brother. 537 00:34:59,897 --> 00:35:01,797 That's a lonely nigga. This ain't hockey. 538 00:35:02,467 --> 00:35:04,560 You want some speed, you know where to go. 539 00:35:13,044 --> 00:35:15,706 Hey, yo, check out this fake Slim Shady, man. 540 00:35:17,148 --> 00:35:19,378 I knew you couldn't resist my shit. 541 00:35:19,584 --> 00:35:21,779 I got the shakes that'll make you quake. 542 00:35:21,986 --> 00:35:24,784 I got the fries that'll cross your eyes. 543 00:35:24,989 --> 00:35:26,980 I got the burgers that'll... 544 00:35:29,427 --> 00:35:30,826 I just got burgers. 545 00:35:31,028 --> 00:35:32,086 I'm all right. Thank you. 546 00:35:32,497 --> 00:35:36,456 Just wanted to talk to you fellas about possibly joining the football team. 547 00:35:37,301 --> 00:35:38,825 The only game we'd play with you is 548 00:35:39,036 --> 00:35:43,973 Slap the Point-Shaving White Boy Till He Cries Like a Baby-Back Bitch. 549 00:35:44,242 --> 00:35:48,269 Baby-back bitch, baby-back bitch Baby-back bitch 550 00:35:48,479 --> 00:35:50,640 - That's a big-ass robot. - Yeah. 551 00:35:55,486 --> 00:35:57,545 You gonna help me out here? 552 00:35:59,624 --> 00:36:00,921 Thank you, Half-a-Star. 553 00:36:01,859 --> 00:36:03,827 Just so you know, we are playing the guards. 554 00:36:04,028 --> 00:36:06,792 That ain't a team. That's just a bunch of dumb rednecks 555 00:36:06,998 --> 00:36:09,489 giving themselves excuses to grab each other. 556 00:36:10,601 --> 00:36:12,796 This guy must be quite the athlete, huh? 557 00:36:13,538 --> 00:36:16,974 You risk bringing your ass in the jungle because you know I am. 558 00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:20,338 Yeah, so you'd beat me in a game of one-on-one, right? 559 00:36:20,545 --> 00:36:23,639 - What? - I think it's time for you to get stepping. 560 00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:25,975 How's this, though? One game. 561 00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:30,348 I beat you, you guys play for the team. You beat me, I'll leave you alone. 562 00:36:31,389 --> 00:36:33,448 Take that. Take that, Deac. 563 00:36:33,658 --> 00:36:35,785 This fool ain't nothing but a thing, baby. 564 00:36:36,761 --> 00:36:39,389 - Ball, dog. - Ball up! 565 00:36:39,597 --> 00:36:40,962 Can Crewe play ball? 566 00:36:41,165 --> 00:36:42,427 He's a natural athlete. 567 00:36:42,633 --> 00:36:45,898 So is Greg Louganis, but I bet you he'd get his ass whupped out here. 568 00:36:46,404 --> 00:36:48,736 - Game's 11. Call your own fouls. - Okay. 569 00:36:50,174 --> 00:36:52,335 - Come on, come on. - Give it to him, Deac! 570 00:36:57,281 --> 00:36:58,373 Did I get you? 571 00:36:59,016 --> 00:37:00,313 No, that was clean. 572 00:37:00,518 --> 00:37:02,486 He'll be all right. Call his mama. 573 00:37:02,687 --> 00:37:05,155 - If I foul you, tell me, dog. - Okay, baby. 574 00:37:09,193 --> 00:37:10,683 Take this f... Take this foul. 575 00:37:14,265 --> 00:37:16,233 What happened there? I think it's my ball, right? 576 00:37:16,467 --> 00:37:17,434 All right. 577 00:37:17,635 --> 00:37:19,398 Get up! Get up, Deac! 578 00:37:19,737 --> 00:37:20,761 Come on, Paul! 579 00:37:20,972 --> 00:37:22,064 - Calm down. - What? 580 00:37:22,273 --> 00:37:24,707 Now, don't stir up the brothers, now. Come on. 581 00:37:29,413 --> 00:37:30,903 Come on, Deacon! 582 00:37:35,219 --> 00:37:36,413 Did I get you, dog? 583 00:37:36,621 --> 00:37:39,454 Hell, no, baby. That was clean. Good D. 584 00:37:39,657 --> 00:37:41,022 I thought he didn't wanna get hurt. 585 00:37:41,225 --> 00:37:43,750 It ain't about getting hurt. It's about pride. 586 00:37:43,961 --> 00:37:45,861 I bet you he's pretty proud right now. 587 00:38:21,365 --> 00:38:23,890 It ain't easy being cheesy! 588 00:38:31,075 --> 00:38:33,339 Did I get you? Did I get you? 589 00:38:33,577 --> 00:38:36,137 - No, I think I'm okay, baby. - I didn't get you, did I? 590 00:38:43,054 --> 00:38:44,282 That's traveling, bitch. 591 00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:56,800 You keep coming, huh? 592 00:38:58,402 --> 00:39:01,462 Game point, baby. How you want the game put up? 593 00:39:08,212 --> 00:39:09,270 Foul. 594 00:39:11,148 --> 00:39:13,241 That was a bullshit call! 595 00:39:16,454 --> 00:39:18,354 My court, my ball. 596 00:39:29,834 --> 00:39:31,893 All right, y'all. Let Deac speak! 597 00:39:34,405 --> 00:39:36,134 Nice spanking that ass, dog. 598 00:39:37,842 --> 00:39:40,208 - Now, get stepping. - Hold up. 599 00:39:44,148 --> 00:39:45,513 Y'all got a running back? 600 00:39:46,083 --> 00:39:47,710 Not any good ones. 601 00:39:48,119 --> 00:39:49,518 No disrespect, Deac... 602 00:39:50,554 --> 00:39:53,216 ...but any man that can take that kind of beating out here, 603 00:39:53,424 --> 00:39:56,086 I can't wait to see what he can do in a contact sport. 604 00:39:56,293 --> 00:39:57,260 Shit, I'm in. 605 00:39:58,863 --> 00:40:03,266 Man, give me that cheeseburger. You acting like a real McAsshole. 606 00:40:03,467 --> 00:40:06,925 Cheeseburger, he wants to run with the white boys, we will let him. 607 00:40:07,138 --> 00:40:08,605 Let's do this. 608 00:40:09,540 --> 00:40:10,507 Earl Megget. 609 00:40:10,708 --> 00:40:14,974 Well, we didn't get the whole chocolate bar, but we got a Hershey's Kiss. 610 00:40:15,179 --> 00:40:16,237 I'll take it. 611 00:40:18,816 --> 00:40:20,909 Let's get this over with, rookie, I'm starving. 612 00:40:21,118 --> 00:40:23,780 Fresh meat, boys! Fresh meat! 613 00:40:23,988 --> 00:40:25,580 Down, set! 614 00:40:26,190 --> 00:40:27,782 Battle, you're a psycho! 615 00:40:27,992 --> 00:40:29,960 Tony, you're a fat shit! Hut! 616 00:40:38,702 --> 00:40:39,964 Holy shit! 617 00:40:44,542 --> 00:40:46,237 Get him! 618 00:40:53,984 --> 00:40:57,181 Ran right out of your shoes, huh? Hey, manager, don't you think 619 00:40:57,388 --> 00:40:59,720 we can get our new star running back a decent pair of cleats? 620 00:40:59,924 --> 00:41:03,052 Yeah. I think I got a cousin that drives a truck for Reebok. 621 00:41:03,260 --> 00:41:05,660 It's cool, man. I never had shoes growing up noway. 622 00:41:05,863 --> 00:41:07,558 - I'll be all right for now. - Oh, okay. 623 00:41:08,265 --> 00:41:10,256 Get your country ass back in the huddle. 624 00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:12,060 That boy got some slave feet, you see that? 625 00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:16,565 Defense! Huddle up over there! 626 00:41:16,774 --> 00:41:18,571 Paul. Paul. 627 00:41:18,776 --> 00:41:20,835 Hey, ladies. How's it hanging? 628 00:41:21,045 --> 00:41:23,070 - Tell him. - I'm gonna say something to him. 629 00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:26,249 I just wanted to let you know I am your biggest fan. 630 00:41:26,450 --> 00:41:30,477 And I will be cheering my jailhouse boobies off for you at game day. 631 00:41:30,688 --> 00:41:32,155 I appreciate that. Thank you. 632 00:41:32,356 --> 00:41:33,823 Paul. 633 00:41:34,625 --> 00:41:36,422 I appreciate you. 634 00:41:36,994 --> 00:41:38,985 Okay, thanks. I'm glad to know that. 635 00:41:40,898 --> 00:41:42,365 Okay, are you done now? 636 00:41:42,566 --> 00:41:45,228 What's wrong with you? Jealous because I don't cheer for you anymore? 637 00:41:45,436 --> 00:41:47,631 I don't know what you're talking about, freak show. 638 00:41:47,838 --> 00:41:49,465 Whatever, back freckles. 639 00:41:50,007 --> 00:41:52,339 Oh, yeah, back freckles. She's making up shit now. 640 00:41:52,543 --> 00:41:53,976 I'm gonna get some water. 641 00:41:55,579 --> 00:41:57,843 That feature interview worked better than I thought. 642 00:41:58,048 --> 00:42:00,209 I just got off the phone with ESPN2. 643 00:42:00,417 --> 00:42:03,181 They want to televise the football game. 644 00:42:03,387 --> 00:42:06,879 Guards, cons, Paul Crewe, it's compelling stuff. 645 00:42:07,091 --> 00:42:09,218 Lots of human interest. 646 00:42:09,426 --> 00:42:11,189 Don't do that in here. 647 00:42:12,396 --> 00:42:13,795 Television. 648 00:42:14,865 --> 00:42:17,095 Dandridge, do you think that might help my visibility 649 00:42:17,301 --> 00:42:19,326 with the registered voters of this fine state? 650 00:42:19,703 --> 00:42:21,068 Oh, yes. 651 00:42:37,688 --> 00:42:39,485 The freak is back! 652 00:42:52,636 --> 00:42:54,228 Hey, hey. It's me again. 653 00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:59,632 You know, if I take this half down, we could play together. 654 00:43:01,879 --> 00:43:03,972 I'm just gonna take this half down. 655 00:43:07,384 --> 00:43:10,012 Don't worry. Don't worry. I got another ball. 656 00:43:11,221 --> 00:43:12,518 It's okay. 657 00:43:13,157 --> 00:43:14,556 You wanna serve? 658 00:43:16,026 --> 00:43:17,186 I'll serve. 659 00:43:23,100 --> 00:43:25,967 Really good news. We started a football team. 660 00:43:26,337 --> 00:43:27,804 You like football? 661 00:43:28,005 --> 00:43:29,438 It's kind of like Ping-Pong. 662 00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:32,973 Only the ball's a little bigger and egg-shaped, like my head. 663 00:43:34,311 --> 00:43:37,178 Just a joke. Stay calm. 664 00:43:37,381 --> 00:43:40,111 Give you a good chance to throw people on the ground, 665 00:43:40,317 --> 00:43:44,617 hurt them like you used to when you were a kid, 10 feet 6 inches ago. 666 00:43:46,991 --> 00:43:48,982 We'd be playing the guards. 667 00:43:52,429 --> 00:43:54,397 I think Papajohn's their safety. 668 00:44:12,716 --> 00:44:15,583 Turley, nobody gets to me. We'll play more Ping-Pong later, okay? 669 00:44:19,223 --> 00:44:20,690 Hut! 670 00:44:25,229 --> 00:44:26,321 Effective. 671 00:44:27,131 --> 00:44:30,692 - All right. - He brokeded my nose. 672 00:44:33,771 --> 00:44:35,568 I don't wanna play no more. 673 00:44:35,773 --> 00:44:38,003 Hey, hey, hey. Switowski, what are you talking about? 674 00:44:38,208 --> 00:44:39,835 This is football. Shit happens. 675 00:44:40,044 --> 00:44:42,706 Paul, he brokeded my nose. 676 00:44:42,913 --> 00:44:44,346 Okay. Stop crying. 677 00:44:44,882 --> 00:44:47,510 All right. We can fix this. Here we go. 678 00:44:48,919 --> 00:44:51,285 Okay. Good, good. 679 00:44:52,089 --> 00:44:53,078 How's it look? 680 00:44:53,290 --> 00:44:56,623 How's it look? It looks... It looks like... It looks better than before. 681 00:44:57,594 --> 00:44:59,721 - Really? - Yeah, it's straighter. 682 00:44:59,930 --> 00:45:03,058 More distinguished. Kind of like a young Michael Jackson. 683 00:45:03,267 --> 00:45:05,462 I love little Michael. 684 00:45:05,669 --> 00:45:07,330 That's great. That's great. 685 00:45:08,672 --> 00:45:10,333 I think he did it on purpose. 686 00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:12,475 No, he didn't. 687 00:45:14,611 --> 00:45:16,169 Okay, maybe he did. 688 00:45:16,380 --> 00:45:19,281 You gotta apologize to him. Come on, Turley. 689 00:45:20,918 --> 00:45:22,545 Say you're sorry. 690 00:45:24,488 --> 00:45:26,012 Come on. Say it. 691 00:45:29,827 --> 00:45:33,194 He said he's sorry. I got him to say he's sorry. 692 00:45:33,397 --> 00:45:34,989 Yeah, yeah. We're all impressed. 693 00:45:37,768 --> 00:45:40,100 Looking good, gentlemen. Way to work hard. 694 00:45:40,304 --> 00:45:42,465 Good practice, Paul! Me and the girls wanna show you 695 00:45:42,673 --> 00:45:43,921 - what we've been practicing. - Okay, hit me. 696 00:45:43,941 --> 00:45:45,169 - What we've been practicing. - Okay, hit me. 697 00:45:45,809 --> 00:45:48,539 Come on, let's go. One, two, three. 698 00:45:48,746 --> 00:45:51,647 Give me a... 699 00:45:51,849 --> 00:45:55,148 D, D, give me a I I, I, give me a C 700 00:45:55,352 --> 00:45:56,341 C, give me a... 701 00:45:56,553 --> 00:45:59,818 All right, all right! I got it. Just save it for the game. 702 00:46:00,023 --> 00:46:01,888 Don't act like you ain't want to see more, Brucie! 703 00:46:02,092 --> 00:46:04,253 - Yeah, you wish, pal. - No, you wish I'd kiss you again, 704 00:46:04,461 --> 00:46:07,396 because your breath smell like eight cans of shark shit. 705 00:46:07,598 --> 00:46:09,122 I wouldn't touch her with a 10-foot pole. 706 00:46:09,333 --> 00:46:10,891 - What's he talking about? - He's a freak. 707 00:46:24,414 --> 00:46:26,814 Run, Forrest, run! 708 00:46:31,388 --> 00:46:33,879 That's how a white man plays guitar. 709 00:46:37,394 --> 00:46:39,487 Captain, he said he had some info. 710 00:46:39,696 --> 00:46:43,154 You guys have "Halo 2." I didn't even think that was out yet. 711 00:46:43,867 --> 00:46:45,664 Focus. Turn the music off! 712 00:46:45,869 --> 00:46:48,030 Yeah, captain. You know them convicts? 713 00:46:48,238 --> 00:46:50,069 They're starting to get some serious players. 714 00:46:50,274 --> 00:46:53,402 But their biggest threat? A running back. Megget. 715 00:46:53,610 --> 00:46:56,010 - He's good? - He's fast. 716 00:46:56,213 --> 00:46:58,545 He's really, really fast. 717 00:46:58,749 --> 00:47:02,776 I mean, he's so fast, he makes fast people look not fast. 718 00:47:02,986 --> 00:47:04,351 I got it, he's fast. 719 00:47:04,555 --> 00:47:07,422 Now, why don't you show us your speed and get your pyro ass out of here. 720 00:47:08,292 --> 00:47:11,125 Yes, sir. Here I go. I'm sorry. 721 00:47:23,373 --> 00:47:26,570 Any books you'd recommend, inmate? 722 00:47:28,412 --> 00:47:29,379 No, sir. 723 00:47:31,582 --> 00:47:33,106 Not much of a reader. 724 00:47:33,483 --> 00:47:37,681 Oh, come on, now, maggot. I've seen you in here reading before. 725 00:47:37,888 --> 00:47:40,152 You requested this detail. Isn't that right? 726 00:47:43,894 --> 00:47:47,125 No. It's the quiet time I like, sir. 727 00:47:48,065 --> 00:47:49,362 Maybe you'd like to read this. 728 00:47:51,535 --> 00:47:53,696 What the hell kind of bullshit book is that? 729 00:47:53,904 --> 00:47:56,236 It's historical. Sir. 730 00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:59,000 Now, why would he want to read a book about a four-eyed nigger? 731 00:48:03,747 --> 00:48:07,649 Does the N word offend you, nigger? 732 00:48:08,819 --> 00:48:10,047 No, sir. 733 00:48:17,261 --> 00:48:19,229 Sorry about that. 734 00:48:19,696 --> 00:48:22,460 You mind fetching these books for me, boy? 735 00:48:25,369 --> 00:48:26,802 No, sir. 736 00:48:27,004 --> 00:48:28,904 Just pick them up. Put them on the table. 737 00:48:32,542 --> 00:48:33,736 There you go. 738 00:48:39,383 --> 00:48:41,248 You forgot one. 739 00:48:48,158 --> 00:48:49,625 Bet you'd like to hit us, huh? 740 00:48:50,994 --> 00:48:53,053 Hit you, sir? No. 741 00:48:56,066 --> 00:48:57,294 Y'all my friends. 742 00:49:02,039 --> 00:49:03,529 Pick these up. 743 00:49:24,661 --> 00:49:25,821 Go! 744 00:49:26,730 --> 00:49:28,459 Hit me! I'm open! I'm open! 745 00:49:33,003 --> 00:49:35,403 Come on! We got one week before we play that game. 746 00:49:35,605 --> 00:49:37,004 We can't complete a pass yet. 747 00:49:37,207 --> 00:49:40,665 - Megget can't run the ball every play. - I know, coach. 748 00:49:41,278 --> 00:49:43,246 What the hell is he smiling at? 749 00:49:59,129 --> 00:50:00,858 This better be on the up and up. 750 00:50:01,965 --> 00:50:03,023 I guarantee it. 751 00:50:03,533 --> 00:50:04,932 Let's do this shit. 752 00:50:05,135 --> 00:50:06,693 There goes the neighborhood. 753 00:50:12,642 --> 00:50:14,371 Now I'll never get to play. 754 00:50:40,003 --> 00:50:43,564 Did you see that? Did you see that? The Deac is here! 755 00:50:43,774 --> 00:50:44,900 Nice. 756 00:50:45,342 --> 00:50:46,934 Okay, we seal off here, seal off here. 757 00:50:47,144 --> 00:50:48,611 - Cheeseburger. - Yeah. 758 00:50:48,812 --> 00:50:50,473 You're just gonna chip this guy... 759 00:51:08,198 --> 00:51:09,165 That stings. 760 00:51:09,366 --> 00:51:12,130 It's nothing a Quarter Pounder can't fix. 761 00:51:14,838 --> 00:51:15,964 With cheese on it? 762 00:51:16,173 --> 00:51:17,697 Hut! 763 00:51:42,365 --> 00:51:44,629 Man, that boy would catch a cold in the desert. Here you go. 764 00:51:44,835 --> 00:51:47,429 - Everything's looking up. - Yeah. 765 00:51:47,637 --> 00:51:49,935 Still got one more pain in the ass to deal with. 766 00:52:00,183 --> 00:52:02,344 All right, what do you say? How about a little best ball? 767 00:52:02,552 --> 00:52:05,612 No, I hate that bullshit. Everyone play their own damn ball. 768 00:52:05,822 --> 00:52:07,653 Holy shit, is that Paul Crewe? 769 00:52:07,858 --> 00:52:11,589 How do you like that, boys? The MVP coming to kiss my ass. 770 00:52:12,395 --> 00:52:14,556 So, what's on your mind, Paul? 771 00:52:14,764 --> 00:52:16,493 Got a problem with inmate Unger. 772 00:52:17,567 --> 00:52:20,627 - Is he on your little squad? - I believe he's on your little squad. 773 00:52:21,371 --> 00:52:24,169 Mr. Crewe, would you mind if we had a picture? Please? 774 00:52:25,008 --> 00:52:26,305 That's up to the warden. 775 00:52:26,943 --> 00:52:29,309 - Damn it. All right. - Rewound it. Did everything. 776 00:52:29,513 --> 00:52:31,947 - The flash is ready. - You don't need a flash. It's daylight. 777 00:52:32,149 --> 00:52:34,310 Oh, my bad. I just want a good picture. 778 00:52:34,851 --> 00:52:38,150 You know, I think you had sex with my wife before I married her. 779 00:52:39,222 --> 00:52:40,917 - Sorry about that. - Oh, hell, no. 780 00:52:41,124 --> 00:52:44,321 If she's hot enough to have a one-nighter with a pro football player, 781 00:52:44,528 --> 00:52:46,325 I must be doing all right. 782 00:52:46,863 --> 00:52:48,330 Okay, here we go. 783 00:52:49,032 --> 00:52:51,227 - Sergeant Engleheart? - Yes, warden. 784 00:52:51,434 --> 00:52:53,265 Would you step out of the picture, please? 785 00:52:53,904 --> 00:52:54,996 Yes, sir. 786 00:52:57,541 --> 00:53:00,009 - His wife has got the hottest ass. - Great. 787 00:53:00,210 --> 00:53:01,507 Just cut to the chase, shall we? 788 00:53:02,145 --> 00:53:04,875 You don't actually think you have a chance of winning, now, do you? 789 00:53:05,081 --> 00:53:06,742 We're gonna get our asses handed to us. 790 00:53:06,950 --> 00:53:11,353 I know it. You know it. I just don't want my players to know it. 791 00:53:11,555 --> 00:53:13,022 Your players? 792 00:53:14,724 --> 00:53:17,352 Just when I thought I had you all figured out. 793 00:53:17,561 --> 00:53:19,552 - What does that mean? - In the time you've been here, 794 00:53:19,763 --> 00:53:21,856 you haven't made or received one telephone call. 795 00:53:22,065 --> 00:53:24,533 You haven't opened so much as a single shred of mail. 796 00:53:24,734 --> 00:53:27,066 What do you give a damn about those slimeballs? 797 00:53:27,270 --> 00:53:29,363 You never cared about anybody in your entire life. 798 00:53:29,906 --> 00:53:32,101 Well, maybe I finally found that sense of family 799 00:53:32,309 --> 00:53:34,709 I been yearning for since I'm a baby. 800 00:53:34,911 --> 00:53:36,003 And gosh almighty, 801 00:53:36,213 --> 00:53:37,874 my new family and I would sure appreciate it 802 00:53:38,081 --> 00:53:40,515 if you got Unger off the field. You hear? 803 00:53:42,118 --> 00:53:43,415 Sergeant Engleheart. 804 00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:45,114 Thank you. 805 00:53:45,689 --> 00:53:47,213 Oh, and as for your request... 806 00:53:49,326 --> 00:53:51,760 ...you'll have my answer soon enough. 807 00:54:04,674 --> 00:54:06,471 Did it rain last night? 808 00:54:06,676 --> 00:54:07,904 Not a drop. 809 00:54:12,782 --> 00:54:14,579 Son of a bitch. 810 00:54:14,951 --> 00:54:16,680 All right, boys. 811 00:54:19,923 --> 00:54:23,017 The warden is trying to break our spirit. 812 00:54:23,793 --> 00:54:25,761 He thinks we're gonna skip practice today, 813 00:54:25,962 --> 00:54:28,590 wait for the field to dry, make it up tomorrow. 814 00:54:28,798 --> 00:54:30,026 You know what? Who gives a shit? 815 00:54:30,233 --> 00:54:33,066 Three days till game time. We can handle it. 816 00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:35,101 But let me say this: 817 00:54:36,039 --> 00:54:39,600 That old man flooding this field tells me something. 818 00:54:40,744 --> 00:54:43,178 The guy is scared. 819 00:54:43,380 --> 00:54:47,874 Scared of you sick, degenerate convicts. 820 00:54:48,084 --> 00:54:49,813 And you know what? 821 00:54:51,288 --> 00:54:52,687 He should be. 822 00:54:53,023 --> 00:54:54,957 Because I got news for you guys. 823 00:54:55,358 --> 00:54:56,552 We're gonna win this thing. 824 00:54:58,061 --> 00:54:59,619 Did he say "win"? 825 00:55:00,163 --> 00:55:02,131 What's it gonna be, boys? 826 00:55:03,366 --> 00:55:06,563 Do we go back to our cells, call it a day? 827 00:55:06,936 --> 00:55:11,839 Or do we get ourselves ready for the greatest ass-kicking fiesta 828 00:55:12,042 --> 00:55:14,169 in the history of football? 829 00:55:15,011 --> 00:55:16,808 I'll leave it up to you guys. 830 00:55:36,900 --> 00:55:40,233 Hey. You're part of the goddamn team. 831 00:55:40,437 --> 00:55:43,065 Get your point-shaving ass in there. 832 00:55:43,707 --> 00:55:44,969 You got it. 833 00:56:31,154 --> 00:56:34,248 I guess that asshole Hazen wants to play dirty. 834 00:56:34,457 --> 00:56:37,392 - We all convicts, right? - Right. 835 00:56:37,594 --> 00:56:39,585 Maybe it's time we started acting like it. 836 00:56:41,398 --> 00:56:42,797 Right here. Right here. 837 00:56:44,834 --> 00:56:45,994 Take it, Deac. 838 00:56:46,202 --> 00:56:49,171 Let's see which guards have some broken bones. 839 00:57:08,591 --> 00:57:09,558 Yeah! 840 00:57:47,464 --> 00:57:48,829 Shoes, nigga! 841 00:57:59,409 --> 00:58:03,607 Check this out. These be brass knuckles. They damn near old as me. 842 00:58:03,813 --> 00:58:05,303 Hut! 843 00:58:05,515 --> 00:58:08,484 That's perfect, Cheeseburger! Never been better. 844 00:58:19,329 --> 00:58:20,353 Good ball. Good ball. 845 00:58:24,267 --> 00:58:25,666 Okay. 846 00:58:28,471 --> 00:58:30,302 - Who we gonna crush? - The guards! 847 00:58:30,507 --> 00:58:32,372 - Who we gonna kill? - The guards! 848 00:58:32,575 --> 00:58:34,543 - Who we gonna kiss? - The guards! 849 00:58:34,744 --> 00:58:35,711 Gotcha. 850 00:58:45,889 --> 00:58:47,379 Lights out! 851 00:58:49,025 --> 00:58:50,822 Good night, ladies. 852 00:58:56,099 --> 00:58:58,761 - Yo, Crewe! - Yes, Mr. Caretaker. 853 00:58:58,968 --> 00:59:02,301 Check your toilet. There should be a little surprise in there for you. 854 00:59:02,639 --> 00:59:04,368 You took a shit in my toilet? 855 00:59:04,574 --> 00:59:07,236 No, that's the surprise I left in Brucie's toilet. 856 00:59:07,443 --> 00:59:09,741 - You got something else. - All right. 857 00:59:10,580 --> 00:59:12,138 Well, would you look at this. 858 00:59:12,348 --> 00:59:16,216 A bottle of Ketel One and two glasses? 859 00:59:16,419 --> 00:59:17,852 Now, what would I need two for? 860 00:59:18,054 --> 00:59:20,022 Just shut up and pour me a drink, bitch. 861 00:59:20,256 --> 00:59:24,716 - Man, who taught you to be so cool? - My mama. 862 00:59:25,161 --> 00:59:29,291 Now, when I get out of here, I don't want you to get all Hollywood on us. 863 00:59:29,499 --> 00:59:30,864 I want you to meet her. 864 00:59:31,067 --> 00:59:34,161 Here, look at my girl. She's your biggest fan. 865 00:59:36,172 --> 00:59:37,799 Your mom's beautiful. 866 00:59:38,875 --> 00:59:40,968 And you, you are ugly. 867 00:59:41,177 --> 00:59:43,304 Thank you. Got it. 868 00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:46,180 Here's to... 869 00:59:47,216 --> 00:59:50,117 ...the first friend I've had in I don't know how long. 870 00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:52,413 Hey, I thought I was your friend, Paul. 871 00:59:52,622 --> 00:59:56,718 You are, Switowski. Just finish your coloring book and go back to sleep. 872 00:59:56,926 --> 00:59:57,893 Okay. 873 00:59:58,294 --> 01:00:00,922 And here's to having one of these with you on the outside, 874 01:00:01,130 --> 01:00:03,462 sometime in the next three to five years. 875 01:00:05,568 --> 01:00:07,297 - Yo, Crewe. - Yes, sir. 876 01:00:07,503 --> 01:00:09,937 You being a ex-football player and all, 877 01:00:10,139 --> 01:00:12,164 I'm sure you got a lot of hot ass on the outside. 878 01:00:12,375 --> 01:00:15,503 Well, let's not forget I wasn't the most popular guy out there. 879 01:00:15,712 --> 01:00:16,679 Don't give me that shit. 880 01:00:16,879 --> 01:00:18,938 O.J. Chopped his wife's head off and still got some ass. 881 01:00:19,882 --> 01:00:21,144 Yeah. 882 01:00:21,451 --> 01:00:24,420 My mama taught me not to kiss and tell. Now, go to sleep. 883 01:00:24,621 --> 01:00:26,646 All right. I got one more question to ask you. 884 01:00:27,090 --> 01:00:28,887 Okay. What is it? 885 01:00:31,561 --> 01:00:33,222 Why'd you shave those points? 886 01:00:36,132 --> 01:00:39,260 Didn't you read the papers? I'm innocent. 887 01:00:39,469 --> 01:00:41,733 Yeah. Ain't we all? 888 01:00:44,340 --> 01:00:45,830 Yo, Crewe, what would you say 889 01:00:46,042 --> 01:00:49,136 if I could get you film from the guards' games last year? 890 01:00:49,345 --> 01:00:51,643 I would say that's incredible, but how? 891 01:00:52,448 --> 01:00:53,881 Thanks, gentlemen. 892 01:00:54,083 --> 01:00:57,678 The warden will be done with him in 15 minutes. 893 01:00:58,588 --> 01:01:01,489 - We can handle him. - Yes, ma'am. 894 01:01:01,691 --> 01:01:03,488 Then you're gonna, ma'am. 895 01:01:08,031 --> 01:01:09,362 Nice job. 896 01:01:12,068 --> 01:01:15,697 I can't tell you how much this means to me. Thank you, Lynette. 897 01:01:15,905 --> 01:01:18,271 Now Nate can study all the guards' formations. 898 01:01:18,474 --> 01:01:21,272 Not so fast, sugar bear. 899 01:01:21,477 --> 01:01:23,502 You gotta earn them. 900 01:01:33,489 --> 01:01:35,081 We only got 15 minutes, 901 01:01:35,291 --> 01:01:39,193 but, sunshine, we're gonna make them all count. 902 01:01:52,075 --> 01:01:53,804 One more, please? 903 01:02:02,452 --> 01:02:03,680 Let's go. 904 01:02:11,294 --> 01:02:13,353 - Quiet down. Guys. - Let's go. 905 01:02:13,563 --> 01:02:16,396 Before we watch the guards' game film from last season, 906 01:02:16,599 --> 01:02:21,059 we have a special presentation from our very own Mr. Paul Crewe. 907 01:02:22,905 --> 01:02:24,702 What are you talking about? 908 01:02:26,109 --> 01:02:27,599 What's going on? 909 01:02:31,848 --> 01:02:34,214 Now I gotta relive this shit? 910 01:02:50,299 --> 01:02:51,994 Yeah! 911 01:02:54,871 --> 01:02:57,965 You can say this, my man's a team player! 912 01:02:59,809 --> 01:03:03,939 You know what they say. Once you go gray, there ain't no other way! 913 01:03:04,313 --> 01:03:07,248 Hey, hey, hey. Brucie! Brucie! I'm glad you think that's funny, 914 01:03:07,450 --> 01:03:09,509 because I got something pretty funny to show you guys. 915 01:03:09,719 --> 01:03:12,085 Tony, hit it. You're gonna like this. 916 01:03:19,562 --> 01:03:23,020 - What the hell is this? - What? It's good. It keeps going. 917 01:03:23,232 --> 01:03:25,359 - Hi. - Here I am. 918 01:03:25,568 --> 01:03:27,263 Turn this shit off. Turn it off. 919 01:03:27,937 --> 01:03:29,234 No! 920 01:03:34,811 --> 01:03:37,279 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very funny. Trick photography. 921 01:03:46,823 --> 01:03:48,120 Nothing happened. Nothing happened. 922 01:03:48,324 --> 01:03:50,189 I was showing a little wrestling move. That's all. 923 01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:51,993 Knock it off! 924 01:03:52,195 --> 01:03:53,594 Knock it off! 925 01:03:54,130 --> 01:03:56,360 It's time we took a look at what we came here to see 926 01:03:56,566 --> 01:03:58,500 before the guards come back. 927 01:03:59,936 --> 01:04:03,337 The first film is the guards' offense against Texas Southern. 928 01:04:03,539 --> 01:04:06,770 Now, as you can see, they're running a standard wishbone. 929 01:04:13,783 --> 01:04:16,479 So you're telling me that these animals are watching our game films. 930 01:04:16,686 --> 01:04:18,517 - Is that right? - Yes, sir, boss. 931 01:04:18,721 --> 01:04:20,188 They got all last season. 932 01:04:21,123 --> 01:04:23,648 Seems to me that we ought to do something about this. 933 01:04:23,860 --> 01:04:25,521 What do you want me to do? 934 01:04:25,728 --> 01:04:27,889 You're the criminal. Be creative. 935 01:04:28,331 --> 01:04:31,323 But on game day, if I so much as... 936 01:04:34,270 --> 01:04:35,237 What are you doing? 937 01:04:36,906 --> 01:04:40,171 I don't know. I've had hot flashes all shift, 938 01:04:40,376 --> 01:04:42,674 and now my nipples are killing me. 939 01:04:42,879 --> 01:04:44,506 Why are we talking about your nipples? 940 01:04:44,981 --> 01:04:47,472 We're not. Just go do what you're doing there. 941 01:04:47,683 --> 01:04:49,048 Guys. 942 01:04:50,319 --> 01:04:53,254 I want Crewe finished. 943 01:04:53,456 --> 01:04:57,586 Yes, sir. You give me the inspiration, sir. I got something for him. 944 01:04:58,794 --> 01:05:00,022 Hut! 945 01:05:05,968 --> 01:05:07,401 Everybody! 946 01:05:09,005 --> 01:05:10,233 Huddle up! 947 01:05:14,176 --> 01:05:18,909 Every day we've been taking shit, for a long time. 948 01:05:19,548 --> 01:05:24,349 Tomorrow, payback. Now, think about that for a second. 949 01:06:09,332 --> 01:06:11,459 - What time is it? - Game time! 950 01:06:11,667 --> 01:06:13,294 - What time is it? - Game time! 951 01:06:13,502 --> 01:06:16,960 - What time is it? - Game time! 952 01:06:20,276 --> 01:06:24,406 Tomorrow, 12:00, the bus leaves. Don't be late! 953 01:06:25,548 --> 01:06:27,607 Where the hell is Caretaker? 954 01:06:29,318 --> 01:06:30,546 I don't know. 955 01:06:58,647 --> 01:07:01,207 A gift for you, Mr. Crewe. 956 01:07:03,219 --> 01:07:05,744 How does he listen to that cracker shit? 957 01:09:34,467 --> 01:09:36,628 We're here deep in the heart of toothless country, 958 01:09:36,836 --> 01:09:39,430 coming to you from a simple Texas high school stadium 959 01:09:39,639 --> 01:09:41,869 that's been retrofitted for the big event. 960 01:09:42,075 --> 01:09:44,441 Now, when my man Travis tried to drag me out here, I said, 961 01:09:44,644 --> 01:09:46,976 "What are you, brain-dead from talking to too many Raider fans? 962 01:09:47,180 --> 01:09:48,204 It's not going to work." 963 01:09:48,415 --> 01:09:51,441 But the fact of the matter is, this could shape up as an epic day. 964 01:09:51,651 --> 01:09:54,848 Hot-dog vendors, high-powered rifles, I love the combination.