1 00:01:01,773 --> 00:01:03,006 There's no bell 2 00:01:03,008 --> 00:01:05,774 When you call for me 3 00:01:05,776 --> 00:01:08,845 You'll be falling for miles 4 00:01:09,947 --> 00:01:13,352 I'm bewitched by your misery 5 00:01:14,852 --> 00:01:18,421 But I love it when you smile 6 00:01:18,423 --> 00:01:21,359 Let me know what you want from me 7 00:01:22,526 --> 00:01:26,295 Whisper "love" in my ears 8 00:01:26,297 --> 00:01:29,234 Before you try to get your hooks in me 9 00:01:31,035 --> 00:01:35,304 I should warn you, my dear 10 00:01:35,306 --> 00:01:38,707 My heart is a haunted house 11 00:01:38,709 --> 00:01:42,644 Once you're in, you ain't getting out 12 00:01:42,646 --> 00:01:46,682 It's the trap you've been waiting for 13 00:01:46,684 --> 00:01:50,418 Ain't no windows, ain't no doors 14 00:01:50,420 --> 00:01:53,559 No escaping the way you feel 15 00:01:55,193 --> 00:01:58,727 It's like a dream, but you hope it's real 16 00:01:58,729 --> 00:02:02,599 My, my, my heart 17 00:02:02,601 --> 00:02:08,537 - M-m-m-my heart is a haunted - Haunted house 18 00:02:10,441 --> 00:02:14,244 M-m-m-my heart is a haunted 19 00:02:14,246 --> 00:02:16,615 Haunted house 20 00:02:35,466 --> 00:02:37,198 My love. 21 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,435 Cara mia. 22 00:02:39,437 --> 00:02:42,306 The ring! The ring! Oh, no! No, no, no! 23 00:02:50,448 --> 00:02:53,785 Oh, Thing! Best hand always has the ring! 24 00:03:03,828 --> 00:03:06,161 Dearly be-loathed, 25 00:03:06,163 --> 00:03:10,165 it is indeed a rare privilege to see our family 26 00:03:10,167 --> 00:03:13,802 gathered together for this Addams tradition. 27 00:03:13,804 --> 00:03:16,105 To commence this ceremony 28 00:03:16,107 --> 00:03:17,640 and deliver these two 29 00:03:17,642 --> 00:03:21,678 into the yawning void of matrimony, 30 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:26,318 we put the lime in the coconut and drink them both up. 31 00:03:33,757 --> 00:03:35,991 I now pronounce you... 32 00:03:35,993 --> 00:03:37,360 - Monsters! - Freaks! 33 00:03:37,362 --> 00:03:38,460 Get out, Addams! 34 00:03:38,462 --> 00:03:39,628 You've been here long enough! 35 00:03:39,630 --> 00:03:41,331 We've had enough of your kind! 36 00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:42,798 Addams aren't wanted here! 37 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:44,266 Leave already! 38 00:03:44,268 --> 00:03:46,001 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 39 00:03:46,003 --> 00:03:47,170 Quick, put the lime in the coconut 40 00:03:47,172 --> 00:03:48,637 and drink 'em both up! 41 00:03:52,942 --> 00:03:54,876 Sorry, I couldn't help myself. 42 00:03:54,878 --> 00:03:56,280 This is our home! 43 00:03:57,315 --> 00:03:58,481 You're not wanted! 44 00:03:58,483 --> 00:03:59,682 We don't want you here! 45 00:03:59,684 --> 00:04:02,520 Everyone, to the bridge! 46 00:04:05,889 --> 00:04:07,055 Fire! 47 00:04:07,057 --> 00:04:08,226 Fire! 48 00:04:24,042 --> 00:04:26,208 You two love bats better fly out of here! 49 00:04:26,210 --> 00:04:28,077 I'll hold them off! 50 00:04:28,079 --> 00:04:29,511 Mazurka! 51 00:04:33,050 --> 00:04:34,819 Grab onto my hairy hump! 52 00:04:40,257 --> 00:04:42,991 I think I can see my house from here. 53 00:04:42,993 --> 00:04:45,661 Oh, no. That's a women's prison. 54 00:04:45,663 --> 00:04:48,697 Oh, Gomez, why do hordes of angry villagers 55 00:04:48,699 --> 00:04:50,265 follow us everywhere we go? 56 00:04:50,267 --> 00:04:53,868 We are safe, my love, that is all that matters. 57 00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:55,704 I want to find a new home 58 00:04:55,706 --> 00:04:57,740 that is shrouded from the world. 59 00:04:57,742 --> 00:05:00,743 Someplace that is truly us. 60 00:05:00,745 --> 00:05:04,445 Yes! Somewhere horrible! Somewhere corrupt! 61 00:05:04,447 --> 00:05:06,681 Somewhere that no one in their right mind 62 00:05:06,683 --> 00:05:08,452 would be caught dead in! 63 00:05:19,230 --> 00:05:20,962 Unhappy, darling? 64 00:05:20,964 --> 00:05:23,699 Yes, completely. 65 00:05:23,701 --> 00:05:27,036 Oh, Gomez, you have torn down my walls 66 00:05:27,038 --> 00:05:29,738 and stabbed your name onto my heart. 67 00:05:31,541 --> 00:05:33,575 My wan temptress, 68 00:05:33,577 --> 00:05:35,646 your hand is as cold as a dead fish. 69 00:05:36,312 --> 00:05:39,248 My love, that is a dead fish. 70 00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:40,716 Mmm, mmm... 71 00:05:40,718 --> 00:05:41,987 So it is. 72 00:05:46,990 --> 00:05:48,490 Darling, 73 00:05:48,492 --> 00:05:52,294 is that a wrinkle I see on your pallid brow? 74 00:05:52,296 --> 00:05:53,495 What's wrong? 75 00:05:53,497 --> 00:05:55,632 We can't run forever, my love. 76 00:05:55,634 --> 00:05:57,500 I want a home again. 77 00:05:57,502 --> 00:06:00,236 I want our children to grow up in peace. 78 00:06:00,238 --> 00:06:02,738 I want to pick out cemetery plots. 79 00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:06,675 Morticia, I swear on my life I will find us a new home. 80 00:06:06,677 --> 00:06:08,947 And your every wish shall be granted. 81 00:06:09,579 --> 00:06:11,180 Mon amour. 82 00:06:11,182 --> 00:06:15,517 French. You know what that does to me. 83 00:06:16,988 --> 00:06:18,857 Wild thing 84 00:06:20,824 --> 00:06:22,092 You make my heart... 85 00:06:30,502 --> 00:06:32,370 We hit something! 86 00:06:40,110 --> 00:06:42,312 Is he all right? 87 00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:44,880 No, he seems perfectly demented. 88 00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:48,851 "State Hospital for the Criminally Insane." 89 00:06:48,853 --> 00:06:50,388 Gomez. 90 00:06:54,392 --> 00:06:56,123 That must be the asylum. 91 00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:57,659 Oh, thank goodness. 92 00:06:57,661 --> 00:07:00,128 A decent place to sleep for the night. 93 00:07:04,868 --> 00:07:05,870 Hmm? 94 00:07:06,738 --> 00:07:09,139 Thank you, old boy. Lead the way. 95 00:07:26,923 --> 00:07:29,524 It's quiet. Too quiet. 96 00:07:29,526 --> 00:07:31,096 Must be the off-season. 97 00:07:40,105 --> 00:07:41,172 Hello? 98 00:07:45,243 --> 00:07:46,608 There's no one here. 99 00:07:46,610 --> 00:07:48,844 Could it be abandoned? 100 00:07:48,846 --> 00:07:51,579 It's creepy. Kooky. 101 00:07:51,581 --> 00:07:54,519 Mysterious. Spooky. 102 00:08:04,461 --> 00:08:05,930 Huh? 103 00:08:52,276 --> 00:08:56,481 Get out! 104 00:08:58,148 --> 00:08:59,515 It's hideous. 105 00:08:59,517 --> 00:09:01,018 It's horrible. 106 00:09:01,652 --> 00:09:03,751 It's home. 107 00:10:47,858 --> 00:10:50,795 What a lovely morning! 108 00:10:53,763 --> 00:10:54,929 Nice try. 109 00:10:54,931 --> 00:10:58,766 Get out! 110 00:10:58,768 --> 00:11:02,072 Oh, you're always so grumpy before your morning coffee. 111 00:11:11,281 --> 00:11:12,414 Better? 112 00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:31,399 Lurch, 113 00:11:31,401 --> 00:11:32,569 it's time for breakfast. 114 00:11:51,256 --> 00:11:53,288 Thing. 115 00:11:53,290 --> 00:11:56,094 Have Ichabod wake the children. 116 00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:01,996 Lurch, would you mind dusting the house? 117 00:12:01,998 --> 00:12:03,300 Mmm. 118 00:12:11,374 --> 00:12:13,274 Slowly, Cleopatra. 119 00:12:13,276 --> 00:12:16,180 I wouldn't want my favorite African Strangler to choke. 120 00:12:58,156 --> 00:13:01,222 All right, Ichabod. I'm awake. 121 00:13:01,224 --> 00:13:03,161 Not for long. 122 00:13:04,395 --> 00:13:06,193 Real mature, Pugsley. 123 00:13:06,195 --> 00:13:07,563 Oh, please. 124 00:13:07,565 --> 00:13:09,765 You never threw an axe when you were my age? 125 00:13:09,767 --> 00:13:13,537 Of course I did. I never missed. 126 00:13:16,007 --> 00:13:17,706 How I wish something would liven up 127 00:13:17,708 --> 00:13:19,508 this already tedious day. 128 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,215 Thanks for trying, Ichabod. 129 00:13:45,969 --> 00:13:47,204 Hmm. 130 00:14:13,097 --> 00:14:14,228 Pugsley? 131 00:14:14,230 --> 00:14:17,765 Pugsley! It's time for sword practice. 132 00:14:17,767 --> 00:14:19,400 Pugsley! 133 00:14:19,402 --> 00:14:21,071 Let the games begin. 134 00:14:48,598 --> 00:14:51,502 Here's Pugsley! 135 00:15:08,318 --> 00:15:10,822 All right, son. That's enough. 136 00:15:12,388 --> 00:15:15,192 They blow up so fast these days. 137 00:15:25,902 --> 00:15:28,071 Don't make me come up there! 138 00:15:34,512 --> 00:15:36,247 This is your last warning! 139 00:15:48,659 --> 00:15:51,427 My head. Ow, ow, ow. 140 00:15:51,429 --> 00:15:54,862 Pugsley, we're supposed to be working on your swordplay. 141 00:15:54,864 --> 00:15:57,066 Your Sabre Mazurka is two weeks away, 142 00:15:57,068 --> 00:15:59,067 and you've barely practiced at all. 143 00:15:59,069 --> 00:16:01,269 So I missed one practice. What's the big deal? 144 00:16:01,271 --> 00:16:03,205 The big deal? 145 00:16:03,207 --> 00:16:05,841 The Sabre Mazurka is the most important day 146 00:16:05,843 --> 00:16:07,107 in a young man's life. 147 00:16:07,109 --> 00:16:08,611 It's what makes you an Addams. 148 00:16:08,613 --> 00:16:11,712 It's the day your entire family gathers around you 149 00:16:11,714 --> 00:16:15,216 and passes judgment on your worth as a human being. 150 00:16:15,218 --> 00:16:16,717 I hear it's like Thanksgiving. 151 00:16:16,719 --> 00:16:19,687 But swords are so old-fashioned. 152 00:16:19,689 --> 00:16:21,557 I'm more of a demolitions man. 153 00:16:21,559 --> 00:16:26,097 Explosives have no place in a Mazurka. Hand them over. 154 00:16:29,566 --> 00:16:31,600 All of them. 155 00:16:31,602 --> 00:16:33,601 And the TNT. 156 00:16:33,603 --> 00:16:35,404 And the M-80s. 157 00:16:35,406 --> 00:16:38,807 Roman candles. Bang snaps. Holy Hand Grenades. 158 00:16:40,276 --> 00:16:44,980 Son, our family hasn't been all together in 13 years. 159 00:16:44,982 --> 00:16:47,082 They are coming from all over the world 160 00:16:47,084 --> 00:16:49,418 to see you on your special day. 161 00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:51,455 I just want it to go perfectly. 162 00:16:52,421 --> 00:16:54,423 All right, Pop. I'll practice. 163 00:16:54,425 --> 00:16:55,957 That's my boy. 164 00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:03,731 Putrid. 165 00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:05,134 Mmm. Horrifying. 166 00:17:05,136 --> 00:17:06,504 I call spleen. 167 00:17:08,939 --> 00:17:10,138 Mmm... 168 00:17:10,140 --> 00:17:11,606 - Ah, ow... - Wednesday. 169 00:17:11,608 --> 00:17:13,274 Please, no ink stains on the table. 170 00:17:13,276 --> 00:17:15,177 Yes, Mother. 171 00:17:18,915 --> 00:17:20,649 Gomez, everyone we've invited 172 00:17:20,651 --> 00:17:22,350 to the Mazurka has threatened to come. 173 00:17:22,352 --> 00:17:25,252 I know. Isn't it wonderful? 174 00:17:26,357 --> 00:17:29,591 All Addamses under one roof again. 175 00:17:29,593 --> 00:17:31,360 Yes, but where will everyone sleep? 176 00:17:31,362 --> 00:17:33,794 We'll have Lurch fix up the mausoleum. 177 00:17:33,796 --> 00:17:35,296 It'll be like sleepaway camp. 178 00:17:36,566 --> 00:17:38,833 Very well, darling. 179 00:17:42,340 --> 00:17:43,638 Uncle Fester! 180 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,306 Brother! 181 00:17:48,379 --> 00:17:49,678 Don't worry, I'm okay. 182 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,780 The plate glass window broke my fall. 183 00:17:51,782 --> 00:17:54,181 Ha! Ha! 184 00:17:54,183 --> 00:17:56,017 Rick'em, rack'em, roar'em, buzz 185 00:17:56,019 --> 00:17:57,986 Addams is as Addams does 186 00:18:00,524 --> 00:18:02,658 I am thrilled you're here! 187 00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:05,393 I'm not late, am I? 188 00:18:05,395 --> 00:18:08,095 Actually, we weren't expecting you for another two weeks. 189 00:18:08,097 --> 00:18:09,965 Huh. So, not late. 190 00:18:09,967 --> 00:18:11,499 I apologize, darling. 191 00:18:11,501 --> 00:18:13,568 You see, I asked Fester to come early 192 00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:16,071 to help Pugsley with his Mazurka practice. 193 00:18:16,073 --> 00:18:17,839 Hey! 194 00:18:17,841 --> 00:18:18,907 No! No! 195 00:18:18,909 --> 00:18:21,208 Bad Kitty! That's a bad Kitty! 196 00:18:21,210 --> 00:18:22,476 If I'd known you were coming, 197 00:18:22,478 --> 00:18:24,245 I would have prepared the dungeon. 198 00:18:24,247 --> 00:18:27,148 Please, don't worry. I'll sleep in the attic. 199 00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:28,882 You won't even know I'm here. 200 00:18:28,884 --> 00:18:33,188 I've practiced that move in a lot of people's homes. 201 00:18:33,190 --> 00:18:35,657 Uncle, 202 00:18:35,659 --> 00:18:38,126 can you tell us what's beyond the gate? 203 00:18:41,030 --> 00:18:43,498 Why ever would you ask that, dear? 204 00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:45,967 I heard a strange noise in the fog earlier, 205 00:18:45,969 --> 00:18:47,601 and I should like to investigate. 206 00:18:47,603 --> 00:18:49,771 There's nothing out there but boring marshland. 207 00:18:49,773 --> 00:18:53,041 There must be something. We never go anywhere. 208 00:18:53,043 --> 00:18:55,776 Who knows the untold horrors we're missing out on. 209 00:18:55,778 --> 00:18:57,713 Darling, we have all the horror 210 00:18:57,715 --> 00:18:58,880 we need, right here. 211 00:18:58,882 --> 00:19:01,916 Uncle Fester can go wherever he likes. 212 00:19:01,918 --> 00:19:03,819 Now, now, there are some restrictions. 213 00:19:03,821 --> 00:19:05,888 You know, I can't go to the mall, 214 00:19:05,890 --> 00:19:07,956 or a zoo, or a building... 215 00:19:07,958 --> 00:19:09,056 When you're older, 216 00:19:09,058 --> 00:19:10,758 you can travel to your heart's content. 217 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,564 But for now, it's safer for you here. 218 00:19:15,466 --> 00:19:16,968 Socrates, come. 219 00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:21,101 ...South America, Europe, China, 220 00:19:21,103 --> 00:19:23,804 Asia, most parts of Africa. 221 00:19:23,806 --> 00:19:25,776 I'm allowed in Antarctica! 222 00:19:38,889 --> 00:19:40,121 You're watching 223 00:19:40,123 --> 00:19:42,392 Home, Art and Garden television. 224 00:19:44,294 --> 00:19:47,262 The world's a big place, full of poor souls 225 00:19:47,264 --> 00:19:50,297 who don't know the difference between shiplap and Shinola. 226 00:19:50,299 --> 00:19:51,899 Well, I'm here to help. 227 00:19:53,403 --> 00:19:56,504 I take your uninspired living space 228 00:19:56,506 --> 00:19:59,573 and turn it into the perfect palace of your dreams. 229 00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:03,346 No matter how outdated your design sense, I can help you. 230 00:20:04,113 --> 00:20:05,647 My only flaw? 231 00:20:05,649 --> 00:20:07,615 Sometimes I care too much. 232 00:20:08,786 --> 00:20:10,752 I'm Margaux Needler, 233 00:20:10,754 --> 00:20:14,656 and I'm about to stage a Design Intervention! 234 00:20:14,658 --> 00:20:17,024 You're welcome in advance. 235 00:20:17,026 --> 00:20:18,994 Today, we're putting the finishing touches 236 00:20:18,996 --> 00:20:21,162 on our biggest project yet. 237 00:20:21,164 --> 00:20:22,831 Assimilation. 238 00:20:22,833 --> 00:20:24,865 We didn't just make over a house. 239 00:20:24,867 --> 00:20:27,804 We made over a whole town! 240 00:20:28,872 --> 00:20:31,339 And in just two weeks, on our live season finale, 241 00:20:31,341 --> 00:20:32,474 you will be able to buy 242 00:20:32,476 --> 00:20:34,043 your very own piece of Assimilation. 243 00:20:34,045 --> 00:20:35,142 That's right! 244 00:20:35,144 --> 00:20:37,178 In a Design Intervention first, 245 00:20:37,180 --> 00:20:40,648 we are putting a whole neighborhood up for sale. 246 00:20:40,650 --> 00:20:42,449 This will be your chance to purchase 247 00:20:42,451 --> 00:20:43,584 the house of your dreams 248 00:20:43,586 --> 00:20:45,719 in the town of your dreams! 249 00:20:45,721 --> 00:20:47,956 Sounds good? I thought so. 250 00:20:47,958 --> 00:20:50,458 Welcome to Assimilation, neighbor. 251 00:20:51,661 --> 00:20:52,994 This program brought to you 252 00:20:52,996 --> 00:20:54,062 by Neighborhood Peeps. 253 00:20:54,064 --> 00:20:56,467 Your neighbors are watching! 254 00:20:57,366 --> 00:20:58,635 And, we're out! 255 00:20:59,635 --> 00:21:01,069 Love it. Perfect. 256 00:21:01,071 --> 00:21:02,938 Let's set up for the walk-through. 257 00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:04,272 Margaux, did that feel good to you? 258 00:21:04,274 --> 00:21:05,372 No, Glenn. 259 00:21:05,374 --> 00:21:07,743 We need more balloons, more confetti. 260 00:21:07,745 --> 00:21:09,811 - Roger that. - What are we selling here? 261 00:21:09,813 --> 00:21:12,880 Big dreams. You know how you get big dreams? 262 00:21:12,882 --> 00:21:14,248 - Uh... - With big ratings. 263 00:21:14,250 --> 00:21:15,516 - Got it. - Double the balloons. 264 00:21:15,518 --> 00:21:17,351 And I want a blizzard of confetti. 265 00:21:17,353 --> 00:21:18,919 I want so much confetti that we need 266 00:21:18,921 --> 00:21:21,055 snow patrols to find lost children. 267 00:21:21,057 --> 00:21:23,358 I bet my home improvement empire on this town. 268 00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:24,825 Every house must sell 269 00:21:24,827 --> 00:21:26,159 or we're out of business! 270 00:21:26,161 --> 00:21:28,362 - It's got to be perfect! - Mom! 271 00:21:28,364 --> 00:21:30,098 You're never gonna believe this. 272 00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:31,198 What is it, Parker? 273 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,002 I found a creepy mansion up on the hill! 274 00:21:34,004 --> 00:21:35,436 I'm so glad you're exploring, Parker, 275 00:21:35,438 --> 00:21:37,406 but I don't have time to talk right now, sweetheart. 276 00:21:37,408 --> 00:21:39,040 Mama needs to help people. 277 00:21:39,042 --> 00:21:41,508 I need help. Aren't I people? 278 00:21:41,510 --> 00:21:43,277 Oh, you're cute. 279 00:21:43,279 --> 00:21:45,280 Don't you have Chipper 'N' Cheer practice this afternoon? 280 00:21:45,282 --> 00:21:46,582 Run along, honey. 281 00:21:46,584 --> 00:21:48,382 Now, Glenn, what are the numbers we're expecting? 282 00:21:48,384 --> 00:21:49,784 - Well, if you look here... - Mom! 283 00:21:51,087 --> 00:21:52,088 Ugh! 284 00:22:01,698 --> 00:22:03,968 Left a bit. Up a bit. 285 00:22:04,401 --> 00:22:06,534 Now, down a bit. 286 00:22:06,536 --> 00:22:08,939 Perfect. 287 00:22:09,773 --> 00:22:13,574 And three, two, one... 288 00:22:18,481 --> 00:22:20,916 You made me miss! 289 00:22:20,918 --> 00:22:24,386 Do you know how long it took for me to set this up? 290 00:22:24,388 --> 00:22:26,286 Look, Pugsley... 291 00:22:26,288 --> 00:22:30,291 Your Mazurka's coming up, and, well, you're not ready. 292 00:22:30,293 --> 00:22:32,960 Even if I am the only one who sees it. 293 00:22:32,962 --> 00:22:34,996 So, pay attention, 294 00:22:34,998 --> 00:22:36,465 and you might actually get through this. 295 00:22:36,467 --> 00:22:37,468 Wait. 296 00:22:38,168 --> 00:22:40,670 You're going to help me? 297 00:22:41,337 --> 00:22:42,437 Why? 298 00:22:42,439 --> 00:22:45,072 Because you are my brother. 299 00:22:45,074 --> 00:22:49,476 And... I love you. 300 00:22:54,484 --> 00:22:56,650 All right. How are you gonna help me? 301 00:22:56,652 --> 00:22:58,653 You see that hole over there? 302 00:22:58,655 --> 00:23:00,123 Go stand beside it. 303 00:23:01,257 --> 00:23:02,990 Uh... That hole? 304 00:23:02,992 --> 00:23:04,426 That hole. 305 00:23:04,428 --> 00:23:06,328 Mmm... I don't get it. 306 00:23:09,999 --> 00:23:11,334 Whoa. 307 00:23:22,912 --> 00:23:25,146 Darling, not to criticize, 308 00:23:25,148 --> 00:23:27,482 but is that really as tight as you can make it? 309 00:23:27,484 --> 00:23:29,316 I'm sorry, Gomez. 310 00:23:29,318 --> 00:23:32,352 I'm just a bit preoccupied with the Mazurka preparations. 311 00:23:32,354 --> 00:23:34,956 Oh, I am as well! 312 00:23:34,958 --> 00:23:37,425 I fear Pugsley is overconfident 313 00:23:37,427 --> 00:23:39,460 and doesn't truly understand 314 00:23:39,462 --> 00:23:42,063 the importance of this tradition. 315 00:23:42,065 --> 00:23:44,064 Good news, everybody. Pugsley's gone. 316 00:23:44,066 --> 00:23:46,333 Wednesday, I know that tone of voice. 317 00:23:46,335 --> 00:23:48,535 Dig up your brother. At once. 318 00:23:48,537 --> 00:23:50,170 You're weakening the gene pool. 319 00:23:50,172 --> 00:23:51,538 Hold on. 320 00:23:51,540 --> 00:23:52,707 What do you have there? 321 00:23:52,709 --> 00:23:55,910 I'm not sure. I like it. 322 00:23:55,912 --> 00:24:00,247 It's so... What's the word? The opposite of sad? 323 00:24:00,249 --> 00:24:02,051 Darling, bring that to me. 324 00:24:05,055 --> 00:24:08,422 Strange, there's usually a murderous clown 325 00:24:08,424 --> 00:24:10,658 attached to the other end of these. 326 00:24:10,660 --> 00:24:13,527 Wednesday, don't move! 327 00:24:13,529 --> 00:24:18,666 What, in the name of all that is unholy, is that? 328 00:24:18,668 --> 00:24:21,835 It tastes like cotton candy. 329 00:24:21,837 --> 00:24:23,737 How do you know what cotton candy tastes like? 330 00:24:23,739 --> 00:24:26,207 Tish, it was my youth. I made mistakes. 331 00:24:26,209 --> 00:24:28,909 Wednesday, wherever did this pink thing come from? 332 00:24:28,911 --> 00:24:30,277 Outside. 333 00:24:30,279 --> 00:24:32,583 They're everywhere. 334 00:24:39,389 --> 00:24:42,790 Strangest weather system I've ever seen. 335 00:24:48,632 --> 00:24:51,800 What is that? Where's it coming from? 336 00:24:51,802 --> 00:24:53,200 Wait, wait, wait. 337 00:24:53,202 --> 00:24:55,736 The fog, it's lifting. 338 00:24:55,738 --> 00:24:57,472 Well, that would only happen if... 339 00:24:57,474 --> 00:25:01,145 Someone drained the marsh. But who? 340 00:25:03,780 --> 00:25:06,581 A town. This is not good. 341 00:25:06,583 --> 00:25:07,815 We must go down there 342 00:25:07,817 --> 00:25:09,717 and introduce ourselves at once. 343 00:25:09,719 --> 00:25:13,489 This day is becoming most wonderfully disruptive. 344 00:25:26,902 --> 00:25:29,236 Let's keep going with the run-through, okay? 345 00:25:29,238 --> 00:25:30,338 Welcome back. 346 00:25:30,340 --> 00:25:32,140 I'm so delighted to show you my house. 347 00:25:32,142 --> 00:25:35,176 You can own one just like it, just less large. 348 00:25:35,178 --> 00:25:38,079 Blah, blah, blah. Sconces, crown molding. 349 00:25:38,081 --> 00:25:41,315 Which leads us to what I call the Salon de Grandé. 350 00:25:41,317 --> 00:25:44,218 Cross here, turn, and then say something like, 351 00:25:44,220 --> 00:25:46,187 "Now, before I show you this view, 352 00:25:46,189 --> 00:25:47,822 "go to an antique store, 353 00:25:47,824 --> 00:25:50,425 "buy a chair, and reupholster it. 354 00:25:50,427 --> 00:25:52,363 "'Cause you're gonna wanna sit down for this." 355 00:25:55,297 --> 00:25:56,898 What? What's the matter? 356 00:25:56,900 --> 00:25:58,666 For heaven's sake, what's going on? 357 00:25:58,668 --> 00:26:01,438 Do I have something in my teeth? What is it? 358 00:26:10,814 --> 00:26:12,013 Not a single gargoyle. 359 00:26:12,015 --> 00:26:14,216 Maybe this isn't such a bad thing. 360 00:26:14,218 --> 00:26:16,318 We have been isolated here for a while. 361 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,956 I could really see myself dying here. 362 00:26:21,158 --> 00:26:22,524 Play nice, Kitty. 363 00:26:23,660 --> 00:26:25,627 Well, no one is running at us 364 00:26:25,629 --> 00:26:29,063 with torches and pitchforks, so that's a plus. 365 00:26:29,065 --> 00:26:31,600 You know, darling, I don't think we'll need 366 00:26:31,602 --> 00:26:33,368 to put the family in the mausoleum. 367 00:26:33,370 --> 00:26:34,901 They can stay here! 368 00:26:34,903 --> 00:26:37,139 The family would never be comfortable. 369 00:26:37,141 --> 00:26:38,238 It will be years 370 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,242 before rust and decay set in. 371 00:26:40,244 --> 00:26:41,475 How you doing? 372 00:26:41,477 --> 00:26:43,747 It's all so... different. 373 00:26:45,215 --> 00:26:47,381 Pugsley, don't drink it all. 374 00:26:47,383 --> 00:26:50,017 This gentleman wants some, too. 375 00:26:50,019 --> 00:26:51,852 Sir, it's all right. 376 00:26:51,854 --> 00:26:53,755 He's had all his shots! 377 00:26:53,757 --> 00:26:55,255 What a nervous man. 378 00:26:55,257 --> 00:26:58,259 Come on, Tish, let's explore the neighborhood. 379 00:26:58,261 --> 00:26:59,927 I'm gonna pop in here for two minutes 380 00:26:59,929 --> 00:27:02,429 and I'll meet you in the town square. Agreed? 381 00:27:02,431 --> 00:27:03,534 Very well, darling. 382 00:27:04,433 --> 00:27:06,668 Good day, all. 383 00:27:07,938 --> 00:27:10,504 Don't let me interrupt your cup of joe 384 00:27:10,506 --> 00:27:12,908 or whoever you have in there. 385 00:27:12,910 --> 00:27:17,378 So, what's dark and bitter here other than yours truly? 386 00:27:17,380 --> 00:27:21,049 We have the Madagascar Emerald Peaberry, 387 00:27:21,051 --> 00:27:22,550 in a summer patchouli roast. 388 00:27:22,552 --> 00:27:26,787 It has notes of oak, cherry, and yoga. 389 00:27:26,789 --> 00:27:31,626 Hmm. You know, I'm looking for something a bit stronger. 390 00:27:31,628 --> 00:27:33,297 Ah! Let me try that. 391 00:27:37,933 --> 00:27:40,568 Mmm! Morticia, you have to try these coffee grounds. 392 00:27:40,570 --> 00:27:42,102 They have a wonderful grit! 393 00:27:42,104 --> 00:27:44,472 Just a moment, what am I hearing? 394 00:27:45,875 --> 00:27:47,307 This is where we all belong, yeah 395 00:27:47,309 --> 00:27:48,876 Everybody come together 396 00:27:48,878 --> 00:27:52,214 Sing our song, sing our song 397 00:27:52,216 --> 00:27:56,117 Life is really perfect We are one big family, yeah 398 00:27:56,119 --> 00:27:57,784 Everything is so much better 399 00:27:57,786 --> 00:27:59,890 When I'm like you and you're like me 400 00:28:00,891 --> 00:28:04,726 What's so great about being yourself 401 00:28:04,728 --> 00:28:07,595 When you can be like everyone else? 402 00:28:07,597 --> 00:28:11,932 Wow, that is absolutely horrible! 403 00:28:11,934 --> 00:28:15,770 It's easy to be happy when you have no choice 404 00:28:15,772 --> 00:28:19,140 Yes, it's easy to be happy when you have no choice 405 00:28:19,142 --> 00:28:21,242 Hold on, unless I miss my guess here, 406 00:28:21,244 --> 00:28:24,145 I believe that is supposed to be music. 407 00:28:24,147 --> 00:28:25,313 They're greeting us with 408 00:28:25,315 --> 00:28:26,747 one of their traditional songs. 409 00:28:26,749 --> 00:28:28,314 Well, then, we ought to do the same. 410 00:28:28,316 --> 00:28:30,584 Wonderful idea, Fester. 411 00:28:30,586 --> 00:28:32,687 Isn't it great when we are all together? 412 00:28:32,689 --> 00:28:36,624 Say it again until you believe it 413 00:28:36,626 --> 00:28:38,659 I believe it 414 00:28:38,661 --> 00:28:40,096 We believe it 415 00:28:44,267 --> 00:28:45,999 I'd tip my hat to you 416 00:28:46,001 --> 00:28:48,335 I'd do just that 417 00:28:48,337 --> 00:28:50,839 Take it right off for you, But I haven't got a hat 418 00:28:52,375 --> 00:28:55,075 I'm just a college boy, even at that 419 00:28:56,212 --> 00:28:58,946 I'd tip my hat to you But I haven't got a hat 420 00:29:05,888 --> 00:29:07,720 What? What'd I do? 421 00:29:07,722 --> 00:29:09,023 How rude. 422 00:29:09,025 --> 00:29:11,324 Gomez, we should return home. 423 00:29:11,326 --> 00:29:14,395 Morticia, this is not the old country. 424 00:29:14,397 --> 00:29:16,898 True, these people are a little different. 425 00:29:16,900 --> 00:29:19,033 But deep down, we're all the same. 426 00:29:20,202 --> 00:29:22,570 We have to give them a chance. Get to know them. 427 00:29:22,572 --> 00:29:24,139 We have to win them over. 428 00:29:24,141 --> 00:29:25,842 "Win them over"? 429 00:29:26,575 --> 00:29:28,511 Well, good morning, neighbor! 430 00:29:29,011 --> 00:29:30,511 Margaux Needler. 431 00:29:30,513 --> 00:29:33,848 Gomez Addams. At your service. 432 00:29:33,850 --> 00:29:35,216 My wife, Morticia. 433 00:29:35,218 --> 00:29:36,350 Charmed. 434 00:29:36,352 --> 00:29:39,553 Our children, Wednesday, Pugsley. 435 00:29:39,555 --> 00:29:41,188 And my brother, Fester. 436 00:29:41,190 --> 00:29:42,322 Hey, neighbor! 437 00:29:42,324 --> 00:29:44,524 You know, we can see right into your windows? 438 00:29:44,526 --> 00:29:47,861 Nice to, uh, meet you. 439 00:29:47,863 --> 00:29:50,563 As your neighbor, I'd like to offer you 440 00:29:50,565 --> 00:29:52,667 the opportunity of a lifetime. 441 00:29:52,669 --> 00:29:54,936 How'd you like a free home makeover 442 00:29:54,938 --> 00:29:57,604 from a world-renowned interior designer? 443 00:29:57,606 --> 00:29:58,938 It will be a challenge, 444 00:29:58,940 --> 00:30:01,409 but I can beautify that old house of yours so fast, 445 00:30:01,411 --> 00:30:02,643 it'll make your head spin. 446 00:30:02,645 --> 00:30:03,745 I don't wanna brag, 447 00:30:03,747 --> 00:30:05,379 but mine already does that. Look. 448 00:30:07,917 --> 00:30:11,084 I should like to see what this plastic woman has to offer. 449 00:30:11,086 --> 00:30:14,088 Yes, well... When is a good time to stop by? 450 00:30:14,090 --> 00:30:16,890 Actually, Ms. Needler... 451 00:30:16,892 --> 00:30:18,892 Darling... 452 00:30:18,894 --> 00:30:21,729 Stop by anytime you'd like. 453 00:30:21,731 --> 00:30:23,930 Oh, wonderful! Then it's settled. 454 00:30:23,932 --> 00:30:26,266 I'll see you at your house, first thing tomorrow. 455 00:30:26,268 --> 00:30:29,870 You're welcome in advance! Ta! 456 00:30:31,807 --> 00:30:33,940 That woman seems deranged. 457 00:30:33,942 --> 00:30:36,075 Her face reminds me of a death mask. 458 00:30:36,077 --> 00:30:38,446 "Deranged"? "Death mask"? 459 00:30:38,448 --> 00:30:40,648 You tell me she's got halitosis, 460 00:30:40,650 --> 00:30:42,386 and I'm hearing wedding bells! 461 00:30:54,596 --> 00:30:59,667 Pugsley, this is the Addams family saber. 462 00:30:59,669 --> 00:31:02,469 300 years of Addams 463 00:31:02,471 --> 00:31:05,574 have danced the Mazurka with this blade. 464 00:31:06,241 --> 00:31:07,342 Uh-uh. 465 00:31:07,344 --> 00:31:09,944 Only when you've shown me you're ready. 466 00:31:09,946 --> 00:31:15,483 Your father was the greatest swordsman in Addams history. 467 00:31:15,485 --> 00:31:18,753 His Mazurka was the stuff of legends. 468 00:31:18,755 --> 00:31:21,522 So no pressure! 469 00:31:21,524 --> 00:31:25,024 It's all right here, in the Mazurka handbook. 470 00:31:25,026 --> 00:31:28,495 Every Addams performs this rite of passage 471 00:31:28,497 --> 00:31:31,865 to show that you're prepared to defend your family. 472 00:31:31,867 --> 00:31:35,203 It sounds easy, but believe me, it's insane! 473 00:31:35,205 --> 00:31:36,370 Fester, hand him 474 00:31:36,372 --> 00:31:38,307 the goo-goo-ga-ga baby training sword. 475 00:31:39,107 --> 00:31:40,975 Pop? 476 00:31:40,977 --> 00:31:43,745 Has anyone ever failed the Mazurka? 477 00:31:43,747 --> 00:31:45,679 Once. Your third cousin, Xander. 478 00:31:45,681 --> 00:31:46,880 Never heard of him. 479 00:31:46,882 --> 00:31:48,315 Exactly. 480 00:31:48,317 --> 00:31:49,383 Music! 481 00:31:50,820 --> 00:31:52,285 There's someone at the door. 482 00:31:52,287 --> 00:31:55,890 Hi, guys. I'm going up to this creepy mansion. 483 00:31:55,892 --> 00:31:58,862 If you don't hear from me in 30 minutes, send backup. 484 00:32:05,267 --> 00:32:09,506 You rang? 485 00:32:14,509 --> 00:32:15,743 Yeah, no. 486 00:32:15,745 --> 00:32:17,645 Life's too short. See ya! 487 00:32:24,187 --> 00:32:25,518 Oh! 488 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:28,022 Good morning, Kitty. 489 00:32:28,024 --> 00:32:29,693 Greetings, Ms. Needler. 490 00:32:32,895 --> 00:32:34,661 Wow. 491 00:32:34,663 --> 00:32:38,064 Good morning! I hope this isn't a bad time. 492 00:32:38,066 --> 00:32:40,066 The worst. Do come in. 493 00:32:40,068 --> 00:32:41,168 Glenn? 494 00:32:44,707 --> 00:32:46,573 Welcome to the neighborhood. 495 00:32:46,575 --> 00:32:47,943 Thank you. 496 00:32:49,812 --> 00:32:51,946 Oh, my! Hmm. 497 00:32:51,948 --> 00:32:54,114 Are you ready for your Margaux makeover? 498 00:32:54,116 --> 00:32:55,248 Quite. 499 00:32:55,250 --> 00:32:58,718 Pugsley's been climbing the walls in anticipation. 500 00:33:02,859 --> 00:33:04,461 Well, well, well! 501 00:33:05,594 --> 00:33:07,261 Let's take a look around, shall we? 502 00:33:07,263 --> 00:33:09,566 And before you say anything, you're welcome. 503 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:14,535 Now, if we're trying for a more contemporary look, 504 00:33:14,537 --> 00:33:17,138 well, these sconces have to go. 505 00:33:19,609 --> 00:33:22,208 The sconces were a gift from dead relatives. 506 00:33:22,210 --> 00:33:23,410 If we get rid of them, 507 00:33:23,412 --> 00:33:26,382 they'll be terribly hurt the next time they visit. 508 00:33:28,249 --> 00:33:30,784 And this is our whine cellar. 509 00:33:30,786 --> 00:33:33,787 We have a lovely collection of whines. 510 00:33:33,789 --> 00:33:35,322 - Are we there yet? - I want ice cream! 511 00:33:35,324 --> 00:33:37,124 What do you mean you're out of avocado toast? 512 00:33:37,126 --> 00:33:39,659 This barrel makes me look fat. 513 00:33:39,661 --> 00:33:41,661 And here's our bottomless pit. 514 00:33:43,399 --> 00:33:45,632 Uh... How do we get across? 515 00:33:45,634 --> 00:33:46,802 One moment. 516 00:34:00,115 --> 00:34:02,585 We call this surfing the web. 517 00:34:06,421 --> 00:34:08,024 Well! 518 00:34:08,691 --> 00:34:09,822 I'm scared. 519 00:34:09,824 --> 00:34:11,324 I'm so scared. 520 00:34:11,326 --> 00:34:14,262 Oh, my gosh. 521 00:34:14,264 --> 00:34:15,662 I'm scared to close my eyes. 522 00:34:15,664 --> 00:34:16,764 I'm scared to open them. 523 00:34:37,286 --> 00:34:40,988 How do all those people fit in that little contraption? 524 00:34:42,124 --> 00:34:45,226 My vanity mirror only imprisons 14 souls at a time. 525 00:34:46,563 --> 00:34:47,898 Uh, you don't have a cell phone? 526 00:34:48,632 --> 00:34:50,130 That's weird. 527 00:34:50,132 --> 00:34:52,566 I may not have a cell phone... 528 00:34:52,568 --> 00:34:54,568 Well, you don't have a crossbow, 529 00:34:54,570 --> 00:34:56,372 and I thought everybody had one of those. 530 00:34:58,575 --> 00:34:59,643 Mmm. 531 00:35:00,342 --> 00:35:01,675 My name is Wednesday. 532 00:35:01,677 --> 00:35:02,776 Okay. 533 00:35:02,778 --> 00:35:06,680 Uh, I'm Parker. How long have you lived here? 534 00:35:06,682 --> 00:35:11,218 My whole life. Which seems endless. 535 00:35:11,220 --> 00:35:13,052 I've never seen you at school. 536 00:35:13,054 --> 00:35:14,389 I'm cage-schooled. 537 00:35:14,391 --> 00:35:16,389 - Excuse me? - It's terribly dull, 538 00:35:16,391 --> 00:35:17,826 but my mother insists. 539 00:35:21,764 --> 00:35:24,198 I'm actually cutting cage right now. 540 00:35:27,101 --> 00:35:28,369 Uh, okay. 541 00:35:28,371 --> 00:35:30,370 So, what happens at your school? 542 00:35:30,372 --> 00:35:33,740 Uh, not much, just friends turning on each other. 543 00:35:33,742 --> 00:35:36,443 Girls making other girls feel bad about themselves. 544 00:35:36,445 --> 00:35:37,744 Typical junior high stuff. 545 00:35:37,746 --> 00:35:38,747 Intriguing. 546 00:35:42,117 --> 00:35:44,718 Can anyone go to your school? 547 00:35:44,720 --> 00:35:47,220 I guess so. But who'd want to? 548 00:35:47,222 --> 00:35:48,224 Wednesday! 549 00:35:49,025 --> 00:35:50,427 Great shot! 550 00:36:07,309 --> 00:36:10,910 Mr. and Mrs. Addams, there's really not much to do 551 00:36:10,912 --> 00:36:12,713 to make this place perfect. 552 00:36:12,715 --> 00:36:16,048 All we have to do is pull down the side walls, 553 00:36:16,050 --> 00:36:18,952 and then also break down the other two walls. 554 00:36:20,122 --> 00:36:24,291 Open up the ceiling by breaking it irreversibly. 555 00:36:24,293 --> 00:36:27,093 Just get this nasty little floor out of the way, 556 00:36:27,095 --> 00:36:30,963 and there you go. With just those little touches... 557 00:36:30,965 --> 00:36:33,233 Stop! Right there! 558 00:36:33,235 --> 00:36:35,102 Don't touch another thing! 559 00:36:35,104 --> 00:36:39,206 It's perfect. Ms. Needler, you have a gift. 560 00:36:39,208 --> 00:36:42,075 The good news is I can have a makeover crew up here 561 00:36:42,077 --> 00:36:44,244 and swinging hammers first thing in the morning. 562 00:36:44,246 --> 00:36:45,247 What do you say? 563 00:36:46,115 --> 00:36:47,780 We thought you were finished. 564 00:36:47,782 --> 00:36:49,816 Our whole family is coming in two weeks. 565 00:36:49,818 --> 00:36:51,184 Our finale! 566 00:36:51,186 --> 00:36:53,620 Our finale is in two weeks. 567 00:36:53,622 --> 00:36:55,189 Thank you, Glenn. 568 00:36:55,191 --> 00:36:57,124 It's a gracious offer, Ms. Needler, 569 00:36:57,126 --> 00:36:58,526 but you really have done enough. 570 00:36:58,528 --> 00:37:01,631 It's our son's Mazurka. You understand. 571 00:37:01,997 --> 00:37:03,166 Thank you. 572 00:37:07,970 --> 00:37:09,436 Uh, we're missing Mitch. 573 00:37:09,438 --> 00:37:10,440 Where's Mitch? 574 00:37:11,206 --> 00:37:15,144 Get out! 575 00:37:16,211 --> 00:37:18,178 Mitch who? 576 00:37:20,483 --> 00:37:22,515 Gomez, I'll be blunt. 577 00:37:22,517 --> 00:37:25,686 I have 50 houses to sell down there, 578 00:37:25,688 --> 00:37:31,157 and their view of your property is, well, off-brand. 579 00:37:31,159 --> 00:37:34,361 - Fifty houses? - Yes. 580 00:37:34,363 --> 00:37:36,063 You know, ever since my family 581 00:37:36,065 --> 00:37:38,097 was chased out from the old country, 582 00:37:38,099 --> 00:37:41,468 my one dream has been 583 00:37:40,503 --> 00:37:43,169 to find a place we could call home. 584 00:37:43,171 --> 00:37:46,039 Once they see Assimilation, 585 00:37:46,041 --> 00:37:48,675 I think they'll want to stay for good. 586 00:37:49,979 --> 00:37:53,847 Thank you so much for coming by, Membrane. 587 00:37:53,849 --> 00:37:55,182 It's Margaux! 588 00:37:55,184 --> 00:37:57,550 Well then, run, Margaux! 589 00:37:57,552 --> 00:38:00,222 Run, run, run! 590 00:38:06,429 --> 00:38:09,162 That Wednesday girl is a freak. 591 00:38:09,164 --> 00:38:12,532 We're about to be invaded by a whole army of freaks. 592 00:38:12,534 --> 00:38:14,434 It's tragic when people can't accept 593 00:38:14,436 --> 00:38:16,803 the help they so badly need. 594 00:38:16,805 --> 00:38:18,305 And when that happens, 595 00:38:18,307 --> 00:38:21,678 well, another kind of intervention is called for. 596 00:38:23,378 --> 00:38:25,111 I agree, Gomez. 597 00:38:25,113 --> 00:38:27,948 The whole family moving here would be a dream come true. 598 00:38:27,950 --> 00:38:30,184 But I don't trust that Margaux woman. 599 00:38:30,186 --> 00:38:33,222 She's an eccentric, darling, give her a chance. 600 00:38:34,023 --> 00:38:37,057 "Rasp-berry preserves." 601 00:38:37,059 --> 00:38:38,258 Mmm. 602 00:38:38,260 --> 00:38:41,260 Must be some kind of scented embalming fluid. 603 00:38:43,231 --> 00:38:45,700 Wednesday, practice your lurking 604 00:38:45,702 --> 00:38:47,702 on someone other than your father. 605 00:38:47,704 --> 00:38:48,905 He's too easy. 606 00:38:51,039 --> 00:38:52,273 Much better. 607 00:38:52,275 --> 00:38:55,041 Mother, Father, I'd like to speak with you. 608 00:38:55,043 --> 00:38:57,644 What's on your mind, my little nightcrawler? 609 00:38:57,646 --> 00:38:59,380 I spoke with Parker this afternoon. 610 00:38:59,382 --> 00:39:01,981 She's the daughter of that talking mannequin 611 00:39:01,983 --> 00:39:03,316 who came by. 612 00:39:03,318 --> 00:39:05,151 She told me about a communal school 613 00:39:05,153 --> 00:39:06,820 all the neighborhood children attend. 614 00:39:06,822 --> 00:39:09,423 It's called "junior high." 615 00:39:09,425 --> 00:39:12,126 "Junior high"... 616 00:39:12,128 --> 00:39:14,628 Yes, yes, I have read about those 617 00:39:14,630 --> 00:39:17,064 in my abnormal psychology journals. 618 00:39:17,066 --> 00:39:18,965 Anyone of age can enroll. 619 00:39:18,967 --> 00:39:23,070 I think it would be good for me. 620 00:39:23,072 --> 00:39:25,439 Well, I think it's a capital idea. 621 00:39:25,441 --> 00:39:26,740 What of your studies here? 622 00:39:26,742 --> 00:39:29,575 Your taxidermy is coming along so well. 623 00:39:29,577 --> 00:39:31,979 Mother, would you really deprive me 624 00:39:31,981 --> 00:39:35,282 of the opportunity to torment children my own age? 625 00:39:35,284 --> 00:39:37,751 Ah, she makes a point. 626 00:39:37,753 --> 00:39:39,785 What's more, with Wednesday in school, 627 00:39:39,787 --> 00:39:42,458 we'd get to know the people here even better. 628 00:39:42,858 --> 00:39:44,526 Well, Mother? 629 00:39:58,541 --> 00:40:00,776 Have a good day at school, dear. 630 00:40:02,545 --> 00:40:03,847 Do your worst! 631 00:40:09,651 --> 00:40:13,856 Ah. Now I understand. This is a children's prison. 632 00:40:16,659 --> 00:40:18,327 Who's that? 633 00:40:18,961 --> 00:40:20,496 Great. 634 00:40:21,796 --> 00:40:22,898 This is Wednesday. 635 00:40:23,231 --> 00:40:25,365 Hello. 636 00:40:25,367 --> 00:40:27,068 Hey, Parker. 637 00:40:28,470 --> 00:40:30,573 I got something for ya. 638 00:40:32,508 --> 00:40:34,340 A moldy sandwich? 639 00:40:34,342 --> 00:40:36,175 You're slipping, Bethany. 640 00:40:36,177 --> 00:40:38,010 You know what? You're right. 641 00:40:38,012 --> 00:40:40,749 Let's kick it up a notch. 642 00:40:48,557 --> 00:40:50,825 You have no sense of humor! 643 00:40:52,028 --> 00:40:54,093 - Did you see her face? - I know. 644 00:40:54,095 --> 00:40:55,097 Bethany, is it? 645 00:40:56,365 --> 00:41:00,700 Don't cut your eyes on my crew unless you're ready to dance. 646 00:41:00,702 --> 00:41:04,606 What did you say, little ghoul? 647 00:41:05,407 --> 00:41:07,840 I don't think you understand. 648 00:41:07,842 --> 00:41:11,044 I'm not locked up in here with you, Bethany. 649 00:41:11,046 --> 00:41:15,247 You're locked up in here with me. 650 00:41:19,086 --> 00:41:20,255 Whatever. 651 00:41:22,523 --> 00:41:24,057 What did you do? 652 00:41:24,059 --> 00:41:25,425 You shouldn't have said that. 653 00:41:25,427 --> 00:41:28,762 There's nothing you can do. Bethany's way too popular. 654 00:41:28,764 --> 00:41:30,530 Popularity is fleeting. 655 00:41:30,532 --> 00:41:32,265 I prefer to set my sights 656 00:41:32,267 --> 00:41:34,735 on something a little more challenging. 657 00:41:34,737 --> 00:41:36,403 Like what? 658 00:41:36,405 --> 00:41:38,708 The establishment. 659 00:41:54,789 --> 00:41:59,059 Let's see. Who shall I be today? 660 00:41:59,061 --> 00:42:00,293 How about... 661 00:42:00,295 --> 00:42:02,930 Ah, Shelly Longbottom, on Sugar Ridge Lane. 662 00:42:02,932 --> 00:42:05,901 From Shelly Longbottom to everyone, 663 00:42:06,568 --> 00:42:08,735 "Did you hear 664 00:42:08,737 --> 00:42:12,139 "about those Addams people?" Question mark. 665 00:42:12,141 --> 00:42:15,845 "Someone told me they're wanted in 30 states." 666 00:42:18,981 --> 00:42:21,782 You know they're raising a garden of man-eating plants? 667 00:42:21,784 --> 00:42:23,282 And feeding them our pets! 668 00:42:23,284 --> 00:42:25,318 Has anyone seen my Shih Tzu Fee-fee? 669 00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,486 They're gonna turn us all into zombies. 670 00:42:27,488 --> 00:42:29,122 Where are they from anyways? 671 00:42:29,124 --> 00:42:30,256 It doesn't matter! 672 00:42:30,258 --> 00:42:31,925 It's obvious they don't belong here. 673 00:42:31,927 --> 00:42:34,961 Honey! Oh, those awful people up on the hill. 674 00:42:34,963 --> 00:42:36,997 They're not even on Neighborhood Peeps! 675 00:42:36,999 --> 00:42:38,532 Well, that's suspicious. 676 00:42:38,534 --> 00:42:40,432 If other people are scared, then I'm scared. 677 00:42:40,434 --> 00:42:41,767 I believe everything I read. 678 00:42:41,769 --> 00:42:43,436 If someone posted it, 679 00:42:43,438 --> 00:42:44,805 it must be true. 680 00:42:44,807 --> 00:42:46,039 You invite one family in, 681 00:42:46,041 --> 00:42:47,140 then all the families come in. 682 00:42:47,142 --> 00:42:48,309 Do you think we should investigate? 683 00:42:48,311 --> 00:42:49,376 I'm turning grey. 684 00:42:49,378 --> 00:42:51,010 I'm worried for the children! 685 00:42:51,012 --> 00:42:52,681 We need to talk to Margaux! 686 00:42:55,816 --> 00:42:57,851 Open your books. Page 43. 687 00:42:57,853 --> 00:42:59,718 Follow the instructions. 688 00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:01,854 - Yuck. - Oh. 689 00:43:01,856 --> 00:43:03,990 I've done this thousands of times. 690 00:43:08,331 --> 00:43:09,332 Huh? 691 00:43:19,876 --> 00:43:21,411 Flip the switch! 692 00:43:40,061 --> 00:43:43,732 Give my creature life! 693 00:43:50,072 --> 00:43:53,508 Live! Live, I tell you, live! 694 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:14,796 It's alive! It's alive! 695 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,414 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Get them off me! 696 00:44:43,925 --> 00:44:46,126 Zombie frogs! 697 00:44:46,128 --> 00:44:48,064 Bethany's changed her look. 698 00:44:48,463 --> 00:44:49,628 It suits her. 699 00:44:49,630 --> 00:44:52,164 Awesome. Totally awesome. 700 00:44:52,166 --> 00:44:53,566 It is an honor... 701 00:44:53,568 --> 00:44:54,735 ...and a privilege... 702 00:44:54,737 --> 00:44:55,903 ...to watch you work. 703 00:44:55,905 --> 00:44:58,506 Hey. Do you wanna go to the mall? 704 00:44:58,508 --> 00:45:02,342 Why not? I haven't seen a good mauling in ages. 705 00:45:23,597 --> 00:45:26,365 It's late. I'm worried. 706 00:45:26,367 --> 00:45:28,668 Darling, Wednesday will be fine. 707 00:45:28,670 --> 00:45:30,169 She can take care of herself. 708 00:45:30,171 --> 00:45:32,472 It's not Wednesday I'm worried about. 709 00:45:32,474 --> 00:45:35,675 It's the rest of them. We may need to provide an alibi. 710 00:45:35,677 --> 00:45:38,144 My love, it's game night. 711 00:45:38,146 --> 00:45:39,345 Wednesday will be home soon, 712 00:45:39,347 --> 00:45:41,483 so why don't you come and join us? 713 00:45:42,217 --> 00:45:45,318 Oh, very well. F-6. 714 00:45:45,320 --> 00:45:47,686 Pugsley, you heard your mother. 715 00:45:47,688 --> 00:45:49,691 Blow F-6! 716 00:45:51,526 --> 00:45:52,959 Fire in the hole! 717 00:45:52,961 --> 00:45:54,961 I'm king of the world! 718 00:45:54,963 --> 00:45:58,164 Near, far, wherever... 719 00:46:05,673 --> 00:46:07,173 Yes! 720 00:46:07,175 --> 00:46:08,876 You sunk my battleship. 721 00:46:08,878 --> 00:46:11,180 Ha-ha! Well done, Pugsley! 722 00:46:20,088 --> 00:46:21,921 Hello, my uglies! 723 00:46:21,923 --> 00:46:25,592 Mother! I thought I felt my skin crawling! 724 00:46:27,362 --> 00:46:29,329 Grandma, what a surprise. 725 00:46:29,331 --> 00:46:30,930 I thought you were in Prague. 726 00:46:30,932 --> 00:46:32,365 I was! 727 00:46:32,367 --> 00:46:34,867 They caught me smuggling crocodiles out of the zoo. 728 00:46:34,869 --> 00:46:36,537 But I escaped and talked my way 729 00:46:36,539 --> 00:46:38,338 onto a Somali pirate ship. 730 00:46:38,340 --> 00:46:39,939 We got into a heated poker game 731 00:46:39,941 --> 00:46:42,276 and I cleaned them out. 732 00:46:42,278 --> 00:46:44,110 - Cheating or robbery? - Both! 733 00:46:44,112 --> 00:46:45,912 Always remember, Pugsley, 734 00:46:45,914 --> 00:46:48,948 it ain't cheating if no one catches you. 735 00:46:48,950 --> 00:46:51,385 I haven't bathed in two weeks. Ugh. 736 00:46:51,387 --> 00:46:52,753 Or is it months? 737 00:46:52,755 --> 00:46:54,787 Ha! That reminds me. 738 00:46:54,789 --> 00:46:56,724 Guess what I've got, Pugsley? 739 00:46:56,726 --> 00:46:59,126 - Candy! - Oh, yes! 740 00:46:59,128 --> 00:47:01,195 But the Mazurka isn't for a week. 741 00:47:01,197 --> 00:47:02,861 Why are you here so early? 742 00:47:02,863 --> 00:47:05,566 Gomez said you needed a little help with the party. 743 00:47:05,568 --> 00:47:08,635 And I said, I got my son ready for his Mazurka, 744 00:47:08,637 --> 00:47:12,238 so of course, I'm going to do the same for my grandson. 745 00:47:12,240 --> 00:47:13,573 I love him! 746 00:47:13,575 --> 00:47:15,575 It's true! I sent for her! 747 00:47:15,577 --> 00:47:17,343 I can't believe you bothered 748 00:47:17,345 --> 00:47:18,947 your mother with that, darling. 749 00:47:19,447 --> 00:47:20,613 Neither can I? 750 00:47:20,615 --> 00:47:22,314 He said you were in over your head. 751 00:47:22,316 --> 00:47:23,483 Thank you, Mother! 752 00:47:23,485 --> 00:47:25,818 Said you were more tense than he's ever seen you. 753 00:47:25,820 --> 00:47:28,220 - I didn't say that exactly. - Yes, you did. 754 00:47:28,222 --> 00:47:29,990 You said that exactly. 755 00:47:29,992 --> 00:47:31,124 Said he was worried 756 00:47:31,126 --> 00:47:33,593 you'd have a massive facial expression and... 757 00:47:33,595 --> 00:47:35,494 You know, I'm starving! Let's eat! 758 00:47:35,496 --> 00:47:38,298 Not until Wednesday gets home. 759 00:47:38,300 --> 00:47:40,800 Where is that granddaughter of mine? 760 00:47:40,802 --> 00:47:42,604 I got something for her! 761 00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:47,006 Ah, there's my little storm cloud! 762 00:47:47,008 --> 00:47:49,508 Wednesday, where have you been? 763 00:47:49,510 --> 00:47:50,811 Elsewhere. 764 00:48:00,956 --> 00:48:02,655 What are you wearing? 765 00:48:02,657 --> 00:48:05,191 Parker calls it a pop of color. 766 00:48:05,193 --> 00:48:06,793 While I certainly appreciate a horse 767 00:48:06,795 --> 00:48:07,961 with a spear through its head, 768 00:48:07,963 --> 00:48:09,028 the color is... 769 00:48:09,030 --> 00:48:11,030 She claims it brings out my smile. 770 00:48:11,032 --> 00:48:13,432 Wednesday, you don't have a smile. 771 00:48:13,434 --> 00:48:14,968 Turns out I have a lot of things 772 00:48:14,970 --> 00:48:16,272 you don't know about. 773 00:48:20,309 --> 00:48:22,342 I see I got here just in time. 774 00:48:22,344 --> 00:48:24,077 You were right to call, Gomez. 775 00:48:24,079 --> 00:48:26,313 I'll talk to her. Hand me that bear trap. 776 00:48:26,315 --> 00:48:29,719 Thank you, Grandma. But I will handle this. 777 00:48:30,318 --> 00:48:31,720 Ah, suit yourself. 778 00:48:34,822 --> 00:48:38,258 When you're done with Fabio, send him up to my room. 779 00:48:38,260 --> 00:48:40,496 - Ooh-hoo-hoo. - Oh, boy! 780 00:48:43,132 --> 00:48:44,863 Wednesday. 781 00:48:44,865 --> 00:48:47,200 How would you like to join me tomorrow 782 00:48:47,202 --> 00:48:51,738 after the school for tea and séance in the cemetery? 783 00:48:51,740 --> 00:48:53,472 Is attendance mandatory? 784 00:48:53,474 --> 00:48:55,175 Come now, my little raven. 785 00:48:55,177 --> 00:48:57,644 You did so love it when you were younger. 786 00:48:57,646 --> 00:48:59,014 If you like, Mother. 787 00:49:01,182 --> 00:49:02,883 Sleep well, dear. 788 00:49:02,885 --> 00:49:05,421 Don't forget to kick your father good night. 789 00:49:10,758 --> 00:49:12,191 What's your favorite filter? 790 00:49:12,193 --> 00:49:15,495 I don't know. I look black and white in all of them. 791 00:49:15,497 --> 00:49:16,829 You know, when I met you, 792 00:49:16,831 --> 00:49:18,564 I thought you were super weird. 793 00:49:18,566 --> 00:49:20,365 But now, I think you're really cool. 794 00:49:20,367 --> 00:49:21,601 I concur. 795 00:49:21,603 --> 00:49:23,769 You're not completely devoid of merit yourself. 796 00:49:23,771 --> 00:49:25,874 I wanna say "thank you"... 797 00:49:28,342 --> 00:49:29,409 Oh, how'd that barrette 798 00:49:29,411 --> 00:49:30,843 you bought yesterday go over at home? 799 00:49:30,845 --> 00:49:35,115 Actually, my mother's reaction was, well, unexpected. 800 00:49:35,117 --> 00:49:38,751 She was accepting. It depressed me. 801 00:49:38,753 --> 00:49:42,055 One never wants to see one's mother that way. 802 00:49:42,057 --> 00:49:43,256 But I must admit, 803 00:49:43,258 --> 00:49:48,126 walking around in something so garish, so grotesque... 804 00:49:48,128 --> 00:49:50,229 I was shocked how thrilling it felt. 805 00:49:50,231 --> 00:49:52,798 I wish I could do that. 806 00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:54,534 But my mom makes me wear this stuff, 807 00:49:54,536 --> 00:49:56,537 and it's just so... 808 00:49:56,539 --> 00:50:00,740 I believe the word you're looking for is "unfortunate." 809 00:50:00,742 --> 00:50:04,144 Ugh. I'd love to just go crazy 810 00:50:04,146 --> 00:50:06,715 and wear something that would shock her. 811 00:50:07,883 --> 00:50:09,115 Well, Parker, 812 00:50:09,117 --> 00:50:10,282 you're in luck. 813 00:50:10,284 --> 00:50:13,655 You happen to be talking to the queen of shock. 814 00:50:34,742 --> 00:50:35,907 Hello, Mother. 815 00:50:35,909 --> 00:50:38,077 Where's my little wraith? 816 00:50:38,079 --> 00:50:40,012 Wednesday still hasn't arrived. 817 00:50:40,014 --> 00:50:42,648 We agreed to come up here for tea and séance, 818 00:50:42,650 --> 00:50:45,284 and now it seems she stood me up. 819 00:50:45,286 --> 00:50:47,019 Morticia! Can you hear me? 820 00:50:47,021 --> 00:50:48,421 You're not doing it right. 821 00:50:48,423 --> 00:50:49,756 - Press that button there. - I did! I did! 822 00:50:49,758 --> 00:50:50,823 Did you hear it click? 823 00:50:50,825 --> 00:50:51,923 Morticia! 824 00:50:51,925 --> 00:50:53,059 It's supposed to be on 825 00:50:53,061 --> 00:50:54,461 - when you hear the click. - Wait, I see something. 826 00:50:54,463 --> 00:50:56,162 - You did it! - Hello, darling! 827 00:50:56,164 --> 00:50:57,930 Now, where's my granddaughter? 828 00:50:57,932 --> 00:50:59,365 Just what I said. 829 00:50:59,367 --> 00:51:01,501 I think she's distancing herself from me. 830 00:51:01,503 --> 00:51:03,135 Oh, she's wrapped in a black hole 831 00:51:03,137 --> 00:51:04,436 of emptiness and longing, 832 00:51:04,438 --> 00:51:05,972 like all of us Frump women. 833 00:51:05,974 --> 00:51:08,407 - Wednesday? - It's not Wednesday! 834 00:51:08,409 --> 00:51:10,443 - Who's this? - It's me, Father. 835 00:51:10,445 --> 00:51:11,510 Morticia? 836 00:51:11,512 --> 00:51:13,880 What's wrong with you now? 837 00:51:13,882 --> 00:51:15,981 The world can be so cruel. 838 00:51:15,983 --> 00:51:18,617 And all she wants to do is run toward it. 839 00:51:18,619 --> 00:51:20,485 She's a lot like you that way. 840 00:51:20,487 --> 00:51:21,954 You wanted to see the world. 841 00:51:21,956 --> 00:51:24,124 Find yourself. Serve time! 842 00:51:24,126 --> 00:51:27,059 Listen, Morticia, remember the time 843 00:51:27,061 --> 00:51:30,063 you ran away and joined the Girl Scouts? 844 00:51:30,065 --> 00:51:33,633 We were so worried you were on a bad path. 845 00:51:33,635 --> 00:51:36,068 But when you found out that campfires 846 00:51:36,070 --> 00:51:39,372 were for roasting marshmallows and not other Girl Scouts, 847 00:51:39,374 --> 00:51:41,374 well, you got bored and you came home. 848 00:51:41,376 --> 00:51:43,677 We were so relieved. 849 00:51:43,679 --> 00:51:45,144 Trust Wednesday. 850 00:51:45,146 --> 00:51:48,247 Like you, she'll do the right thing. 851 00:51:48,249 --> 00:51:51,818 Thank you, Father. That's most comforting. 852 00:51:51,820 --> 00:51:53,852 Good. Wait a second. 853 00:51:53,854 --> 00:51:55,086 When did I die? 854 00:51:55,088 --> 00:51:56,590 20 years ago. 855 00:51:56,592 --> 00:51:59,358 Oh, right. Happy anniversary, darling. 856 00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:02,995 All right, Pugsley, let's, uh, go through it again. 857 00:52:02,997 --> 00:52:06,099 You got this, Pugsley. This Mazurka's nothing. 858 00:52:07,936 --> 00:52:10,869 You eat swords for breakfast. 859 00:52:10,871 --> 00:52:13,539 You just got a case of pre-ball jitters. 860 00:52:13,541 --> 00:52:15,707 It's way more common than you think. 861 00:52:15,709 --> 00:52:18,278 If a Mazurka lasts for more than four hours, 862 00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:19,882 contact your doctor. 863 00:52:21,249 --> 00:52:23,285 From the top. Music! 864 00:52:38,099 --> 00:52:39,264 Pugsley, 865 00:52:39,266 --> 00:52:40,899 I can honestly say 866 00:52:40,901 --> 00:52:45,037 that was most definitely a thing you did. 867 00:52:45,039 --> 00:52:48,307 A question, what in heaven's name was it? 868 00:52:48,309 --> 00:52:49,709 The Sabre Mazurka. 869 00:52:52,146 --> 00:52:54,548 You know what? You've been practicing hard. 870 00:52:54,550 --> 00:52:56,649 Why don't we call it a day? Hmm? 871 00:52:56,651 --> 00:52:58,651 Hit the showers, kid. 872 00:52:58,653 --> 00:53:00,019 So, we're finished? 873 00:53:00,021 --> 00:53:01,287 Ah, yes. 874 00:53:01,289 --> 00:53:05,057 Yes, son. We are most certainly finished. 875 00:53:05,059 --> 00:53:07,026 Mmm. Okay. Thanks, Pop. 876 00:53:07,028 --> 00:53:08,464 Thanks, Uncle Fester. 877 00:53:13,101 --> 00:53:17,137 This is a complete disaster! How did this happen? 878 00:53:17,139 --> 00:53:18,637 And he's going to make a fool of himself 879 00:53:18,639 --> 00:53:19,939 in front of everyone! 880 00:53:19,941 --> 00:53:21,974 Gomez, you gotta calm down! 881 00:53:21,976 --> 00:53:24,244 There's still a day to get him ready! 882 00:53:24,246 --> 00:53:27,881 Fester, a year wouldn't be enough to get him ready. 883 00:53:27,883 --> 00:53:29,950 I've failed him, Fester. 884 00:53:29,952 --> 00:53:34,586 I tried to raise him to be an Addams, but I failed. 885 00:53:34,588 --> 00:53:37,358 They're going to eat him alive. 886 00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:42,427 I like it like that Ooh, baby 887 00:53:42,429 --> 00:53:44,463 I said I like it like that 888 00:53:44,465 --> 00:53:48,568 Ooh, baby, I like it like that 889 00:53:48,570 --> 00:53:50,803 All right. Thank you. 890 00:53:50,805 --> 00:53:53,206 Grandma, we already have a band. 891 00:53:53,208 --> 00:53:55,608 They came highly recommended from the mortuary. 892 00:53:55,610 --> 00:53:56,909 Oh. 893 00:53:56,911 --> 00:53:58,945 I'm sure they're good. 894 00:53:58,947 --> 00:54:01,814 My sister Sloom is going to be judging Pugsley. 895 00:54:01,816 --> 00:54:03,717 And if things aren't done the traditional way, 896 00:54:03,719 --> 00:54:05,284 she won't be happy, 897 00:54:05,286 --> 00:54:07,553 and the Mazurka could be a disaster! 898 00:54:07,555 --> 00:54:09,557 But what do I know? 899 00:54:09,858 --> 00:54:10,990 Fine. 900 00:54:10,992 --> 00:54:12,392 Yay, we got the gig! 901 00:54:12,394 --> 00:54:13,492 We got it! 902 00:54:13,494 --> 00:54:14,994 Ah, one more thing... 903 00:54:14,996 --> 00:54:18,363 Oh, someone's at the door. I'd better go see who it is. 904 00:54:25,340 --> 00:54:29,041 What's so great about being yourself 905 00:54:29,043 --> 00:54:33,178 When you can be like everyone else? 906 00:54:33,180 --> 00:54:35,715 Do not speak to your mother that way. 907 00:54:35,717 --> 00:54:38,249 How dare you enter this house like that. 908 00:54:38,251 --> 00:54:40,389 Wait, where are your tattoos? 909 00:54:42,824 --> 00:54:44,256 Oh, thank the stars! 910 00:54:44,258 --> 00:54:46,825 - Where were you? - Hanging out with Parker. 911 00:54:46,827 --> 00:54:49,595 Is this why you skipped tea and séance? 912 00:54:49,597 --> 00:54:51,597 Your grandparents were trying to contact you. 913 00:54:51,599 --> 00:54:52,898 Holy Hades! 914 00:54:52,900 --> 00:54:54,501 Whoever did that to you, Wednesday, 915 00:54:54,503 --> 00:54:56,869 I hope the other guy looks worse. 916 00:54:56,871 --> 00:54:59,805 Nobody did this to me. This is my new look. 917 00:54:59,807 --> 00:55:01,073 Do you like it? 918 00:55:01,075 --> 00:55:02,175 I do not like it. 919 00:55:02,177 --> 00:55:04,376 Everyone knows pink is a gateway color. 920 00:55:04,378 --> 00:55:07,213 I warned you about sending her to public school. 921 00:55:07,215 --> 00:55:08,280 Don't worry. 922 00:55:08,282 --> 00:55:10,014 Wednesday is never going to that school again. 923 00:55:10,016 --> 00:55:11,349 - What? - In fact, 924 00:55:11,351 --> 00:55:13,755 she's never leaving this house again. 925 00:55:16,891 --> 00:55:19,959 Wow, that's some evil eye she's got there. 926 00:55:19,961 --> 00:55:23,095 No, that dead-eye stare is new. 927 00:55:23,097 --> 00:55:25,298 And I think I know where she got it. 928 00:55:25,300 --> 00:55:28,034 Hey, guys, this is me now. 929 00:55:28,036 --> 00:55:31,037 If you like it, hit "like," but who cares if you like it. 930 00:55:31,039 --> 00:55:32,472 I'm living my truth. 931 00:55:32,474 --> 00:55:34,242 Parker? 932 00:55:35,742 --> 00:55:37,813 - Who did this to you? - I did. 933 00:55:38,546 --> 00:55:40,546 This is my new look, Mother. 934 00:55:40,548 --> 00:55:45,117 I decided that from now on, I choose my clothes, not you. 935 00:55:45,119 --> 00:55:48,521 Argh! This is that little creep Wednesday Addams' work! 936 00:55:48,523 --> 00:55:51,791 She's not a creep. She's just not like you. 937 00:55:51,793 --> 00:55:53,660 Why can't you ever let people be different? 938 00:55:53,662 --> 00:55:57,930 Because it's my calling to make everyone the same. 939 00:55:57,932 --> 00:56:01,834 Too bright! It burns! 940 00:56:01,836 --> 00:56:04,736 Good! Maybe it'll burn away the weird! 941 00:56:04,738 --> 00:56:05,938 I hate it here! 942 00:56:05,940 --> 00:56:07,939 Everything's boring and fake and bright, 943 00:56:07,941 --> 00:56:09,675 like plastic flowers! 944 00:56:09,677 --> 00:56:10,910 Like you! 945 00:56:10,912 --> 00:56:14,948 Parker! Plastic flowers live forever. 946 00:56:14,950 --> 00:56:17,252 Now, you go think about that in your room. 947 00:56:17,851 --> 00:56:19,952 With no social media. 948 00:56:19,954 --> 00:56:22,421 No! Please, no. Anything but that! 949 00:56:22,423 --> 00:56:25,090 Now go wipe that depressing goop off your face. 950 00:56:25,092 --> 00:56:26,858 You first! 951 00:56:26,860 --> 00:56:30,997 Oh! Those Addamses have gone too far this time. 952 00:56:30,999 --> 00:56:34,036 I think they're going to need a little more help. 953 00:56:49,818 --> 00:56:50,986 Hey! 954 00:56:52,954 --> 00:56:54,820 Where are you going? 955 00:56:54,822 --> 00:56:56,389 A friend's. 956 00:56:56,391 --> 00:57:00,693 I hold people prisoner, not the other way around. 957 00:57:00,695 --> 00:57:02,794 Good luck with your Mazurka. 958 00:57:02,796 --> 00:57:05,198 Wait, you're leaving? 959 00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:06,999 Who's gonna torment me every day? 960 00:57:07,001 --> 00:57:10,202 Living under this roof is all the torment you'll need. 961 00:57:10,204 --> 00:57:12,470 Besides, our parents have made it clear 962 00:57:12,472 --> 00:57:15,240 that the only way to be accepted in this family 963 00:57:15,242 --> 00:57:18,177 is to be exactly like them. 964 00:57:18,179 --> 00:57:20,546 I can't play by those rules anymore. 965 00:57:20,548 --> 00:57:23,081 Farewell, brother Pugsley. 966 00:57:23,083 --> 00:57:24,986 Tomorrow, you become a man. 967 00:57:25,519 --> 00:57:27,755 And I become a fugitive. 968 00:57:29,423 --> 00:57:32,157 Always kinda knew it'd end up like this. 969 00:57:32,159 --> 00:57:34,693 Just didn't think it'd be so soon. 970 00:57:34,695 --> 00:57:37,162 I'll never forget you, Pugsley! 971 00:57:37,164 --> 00:57:38,997 But I'll try. 972 00:57:38,999 --> 00:57:42,101 Pugsley, have you seen your sister? 973 00:57:42,103 --> 00:57:43,702 She's not in her room. 974 00:57:43,704 --> 00:57:45,271 Mmm... 975 00:57:45,273 --> 00:57:47,608 Pugsley. Where's Wednesday? 976 00:57:48,175 --> 00:57:49,543 Um... Tsk. 977 00:57:51,278 --> 00:57:55,680 Tick, tock, tick, tock, Mother. 978 00:57:55,682 --> 00:57:58,450 You're getting very sleepy. 979 00:57:58,452 --> 00:57:59,684 Pugsley... 980 00:57:59,686 --> 00:58:03,423 She did not go to her friend's house. 981 00:58:03,425 --> 00:58:05,258 She went to her friend's house? 982 00:58:05,260 --> 00:58:09,128 I repeat, she did not go to her friend's... 983 00:58:35,490 --> 00:58:39,061 When the day is long 984 00:58:40,729 --> 00:58:42,664 And the night 985 00:58:43,331 --> 00:58:45,767 The night is yours alone 986 00:58:51,005 --> 00:58:52,403 When you're sure 987 00:58:52,405 --> 00:58:54,976 You've had enough 988 00:58:56,510 --> 00:58:58,679 Of this life 989 00:59:00,514 --> 00:59:02,584 Hang on 990 00:59:06,253 --> 00:59:09,958 Don't let yourself go 991 00:59:13,862 --> 00:59:17,532 'Cause everybody cries 992 00:59:21,635 --> 00:59:26,604 And everybody hurts 993 00:59:28,008 --> 00:59:29,976 Sometimes 994 00:59:29,978 --> 00:59:32,646 I shall be staying with you for a while. 995 00:59:33,548 --> 00:59:37,386 Everybody hurts 996 00:59:41,555 --> 00:59:42,787 If this doesn't work, 997 00:59:42,789 --> 00:59:44,823 the next house we flip is gonna land on you. 998 00:59:44,825 --> 00:59:46,024 Marty, listen to me. 999 00:59:46,026 --> 00:59:48,628 Tomorrow, our finale will be the biggest half hour 1000 00:59:48,630 --> 00:59:50,363 your network has ever aired. 1001 00:59:50,365 --> 00:59:52,532 There's just one more thing to take care of. 1002 00:59:52,534 --> 00:59:53,999 This better be good or you won't be able 1003 00:59:54,001 --> 00:59:55,235 to get a job as a doormat. 1004 00:59:55,237 --> 00:59:56,369 Yes, yes, yes. 1005 00:59:56,371 --> 00:59:59,840 I intend to bring the house down. 1006 01:00:13,755 --> 01:00:15,421 When the pimp's in the crib ma 1007 01:00:15,423 --> 01:00:17,990 Drop it like it's hot Drop it like it's hot 1008 01:00:17,992 --> 01:00:19,258 Drop it like it's hot 1009 01:00:19,260 --> 01:00:20,727 When the pigs try to get at you 1010 01:00:20,729 --> 01:00:23,227 Park it like it's hot Park it like it's hot 1011 01:00:23,229 --> 01:00:24,396 Park it like it's hot 1012 01:00:24,398 --> 01:00:25,865 And if a... get a attitude 1013 01:00:25,867 --> 01:00:28,200 Pop it like it's hot Pop it like it's hot 1014 01:00:28,202 --> 01:00:29,334 Pop it like it's hot 1015 01:00:29,336 --> 01:00:32,005 I got the Rolly on my arm and I'm pouring Chandon 1016 01:00:32,007 --> 01:00:35,077 And I roll the best... 'cause I got it going on 1017 01:00:40,247 --> 01:00:44,182 You rang? 1018 01:00:44,184 --> 01:00:46,651 It. Cousin. You made it! 1019 01:00:47,787 --> 01:00:50,256 Please, come in. Make yourself at home. 1020 01:00:52,860 --> 01:00:54,394 Where did she hide my phone? 1021 01:00:54,396 --> 01:00:55,894 I haven't been able 1022 01:00:55,896 --> 01:00:58,264 to post a photo of my lunch in almost three days! 1023 01:00:58,266 --> 01:01:00,765 And what about in there? 1024 01:01:00,767 --> 01:01:02,802 That's my mom's crafting room. 1025 01:01:02,804 --> 01:01:05,104 No one is allowed in there. 1026 01:01:05,106 --> 01:01:06,475 Then that's where it is. 1027 01:01:14,115 --> 01:01:15,484 Weird. 1028 01:01:28,496 --> 01:01:29,662 Whoa. 1029 01:01:29,664 --> 01:01:31,329 Hidden depths. 1030 01:01:31,331 --> 01:01:33,265 What is this? 1031 01:01:33,267 --> 01:01:36,235 There's Mr. Haney making a sandwich. 1032 01:01:36,237 --> 01:01:38,970 And that guy trying to put a tiny tuxedo on his cat. 1033 01:01:38,972 --> 01:01:40,238 - Sit still! - That's Mr. Flynn. 1034 01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:41,307 Why are you being so difficult? 1035 01:01:41,309 --> 01:01:42,374 Trying to make you 1036 01:01:42,376 --> 01:01:43,976 - look handsome. - My money's on the cat. 1037 01:01:43,978 --> 01:01:46,678 And there's our science teacher, Ms. Gravely, 1038 01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:49,682 putting her underwear in the freezer? 1039 01:01:49,684 --> 01:01:53,017 My mom must have built hidden cameras 1040 01:01:53,019 --> 01:01:54,919 into all of the houses. 1041 01:01:54,921 --> 01:01:56,322 She really is psycho. 1042 01:01:56,324 --> 01:01:57,459 - Parker! - Whoa! 1043 01:01:58,825 --> 01:02:00,691 Hey, Mom. 1044 01:02:00,693 --> 01:02:03,095 We were just looking for you. 1045 01:02:03,097 --> 01:02:07,168 What have I told you about Mommy's crafting room? 1046 01:02:08,869 --> 01:02:11,970 Sorry to do this, but standards must be upheld. 1047 01:02:11,972 --> 01:02:14,476 Parker, someday you'll understand, and, Wednesday... 1048 01:02:15,008 --> 01:02:16,277 Well, anyway, Parker. 1049 01:02:20,014 --> 01:02:23,282 My mom has a lair and a jail? 1050 01:02:23,284 --> 01:02:25,617 I knew I should have picked to live with my dad. 1051 01:02:25,619 --> 01:02:27,985 We're gonna be on TV! 1052 01:02:27,987 --> 01:02:29,155 Are we gonna be famous? 1053 01:02:29,157 --> 01:02:30,523 Glenn, what do you want in the frame? 1054 01:02:30,525 --> 01:02:32,724 Okay, everyone, listen up. 1055 01:02:32,726 --> 01:02:34,660 It's the last run-through before the finale, 1056 01:02:34,662 --> 01:02:36,863 so let's try this one last time, okay? 1057 01:02:36,865 --> 01:02:39,599 We're gonna shoot across the town square to the gazebo 1058 01:02:39,601 --> 01:02:41,332 where Margaux will make her grand entrance. 1059 01:02:41,334 --> 01:02:43,836 So everyone will be walking this direction 1060 01:02:43,838 --> 01:02:45,336 across the square. 1061 01:02:45,338 --> 01:02:47,139 Judy, you start here, 1062 01:02:47,141 --> 01:02:48,907 Ken, you're gonna follow Judy. 1063 01:02:48,909 --> 01:02:51,577 You can stand right here and... 1064 01:02:51,579 --> 01:02:53,981 Uh, is there a bathroom nearby? 1065 01:02:54,481 --> 01:02:56,016 Uh... 1066 01:02:59,186 --> 01:03:01,086 Margaux, they're here! 1067 01:03:01,088 --> 01:03:02,689 What are you talking about? 1068 01:03:02,691 --> 01:03:04,155 They're here! 1069 01:03:04,157 --> 01:03:06,392 The Addams family! 1070 01:03:16,570 --> 01:03:17,736 Pardon me. 1071 01:03:19,374 --> 01:03:20,442 Excuse me. 1072 01:03:21,108 --> 01:03:22,273 What are we gonna do? 1073 01:03:22,275 --> 01:03:27,380 What we always do, Glenn. Help people. 1074 01:03:27,382 --> 01:03:30,548 "The Addams monsters are planning 1075 01:03:30,550 --> 01:03:34,419 "to attack the town tonight!" Exclamation point. 1076 01:03:35,590 --> 01:03:38,260 "Meet at Margaux's house now." 1077 01:03:38,726 --> 01:03:40,428 Mmm? Oh. 1078 01:03:46,034 --> 01:03:48,735 Salutations, Addams. We're here! 1079 01:03:48,737 --> 01:03:51,769 Petunia, I love what you've done with your hair. 1080 01:03:51,771 --> 01:03:54,472 Thanks, I just had it mowed. 1081 01:03:54,474 --> 01:03:56,941 Please, come in. Make yourself uncomfortable. 1082 01:03:56,943 --> 01:03:59,244 Uncle Onion! 1083 01:03:59,246 --> 01:04:00,646 - It's been so long! - Voilà! 1084 01:04:00,648 --> 01:04:02,881 Yes, so disappointed to see you. 1085 01:04:02,883 --> 01:04:06,251 Ah, you always manage to bring a tear to my eye! 1086 01:04:07,387 --> 01:04:10,122 Greetings, Dr. Flambe! How you doing? 1087 01:04:10,124 --> 01:04:12,258 - I'm on fire! - Good! 1088 01:04:12,260 --> 01:04:14,026 This party's gonna be lit! 1089 01:04:14,028 --> 01:04:15,964 Ah, Auntie Sloom. 1090 01:04:16,597 --> 01:04:18,896 Auntie Sloom! 1091 01:04:18,898 --> 01:04:23,635 You are as radiant as a barrel of nuclear waste. 1092 01:04:23,637 --> 01:04:26,607 Where is the boy? 1093 01:04:26,941 --> 01:04:28,006 Pugsley? 1094 01:04:28,008 --> 01:04:29,974 Ah, there you are. 1095 01:04:29,976 --> 01:04:31,276 Come down and say hello 1096 01:04:31,278 --> 01:04:32,646 - to your Auntie Sloom. - Ahh! 1097 01:04:35,249 --> 01:04:39,952 Gomez, this tradition is not to be taken lightly. 1098 01:04:39,954 --> 01:04:43,120 I trust that the boy has been properly trained. 1099 01:04:43,122 --> 01:04:44,689 Yes, once you see how we've... 1100 01:04:44,691 --> 01:04:49,327 It's bad enough this Mazurka is taking place in New Jersey. 1101 01:04:49,329 --> 01:04:52,465 Now, where are the dregs? I'm thirsty. 1102 01:04:52,467 --> 01:04:54,467 You've seen them! 1103 01:04:54,469 --> 01:04:57,769 You've heard the stories on Neighborhood Peeps! 1104 01:04:57,771 --> 01:05:02,173 Those Addams aren't people, they're monsters! 1105 01:05:02,175 --> 01:05:05,345 And now, there's an infestation of them! 1106 01:05:05,347 --> 01:05:08,680 They're here to destroy our beautiful community 1107 01:05:08,682 --> 01:05:09,881 and turn it into a place 1108 01:05:09,883 --> 01:05:12,351 that no Design Intervention can save! 1109 01:05:12,353 --> 01:05:14,854 Addams aren't wanted here! 1110 01:05:14,856 --> 01:05:16,689 They're monsters! They're all monsters! 1111 01:05:16,691 --> 01:05:19,791 We need to destroy them first! 1112 01:05:19,793 --> 01:05:21,695 Who's with me? 1113 01:05:22,563 --> 01:05:24,028 We'll be revealing Assimilation 1114 01:05:24,030 --> 01:05:26,231 and all of you to our audience in just an hour. 1115 01:05:26,233 --> 01:05:29,668 Our last chance to help these people is now. 1116 01:05:29,670 --> 01:05:33,171 Bill, John, do you still have that lovely catapult? 1117 01:05:33,173 --> 01:05:34,639 Yes, we do! 1118 01:05:34,641 --> 01:05:36,642 Are you sure about this? 1119 01:05:36,644 --> 01:05:38,510 We can't let them ruin our neighborhood! 1120 01:05:38,512 --> 01:05:39,577 Let's do it! 1121 01:05:39,579 --> 01:05:40,981 I want them out! 1122 01:05:42,749 --> 01:05:45,950 No one torments my family but me. 1123 01:05:45,952 --> 01:05:47,255 Hair clip, please. 1124 01:05:48,155 --> 01:05:49,391 Okay. 1125 01:05:58,199 --> 01:06:01,034 Cage school 101. 1126 01:06:02,537 --> 01:06:03,602 He'd better be ready 1127 01:06:03,604 --> 01:06:05,003 or Auntie Sloom will have his head! 1128 01:06:05,005 --> 01:06:06,405 He looks very small. 1129 01:06:06,407 --> 01:06:08,106 That kid's got some big shoes to fill. 1130 01:06:08,108 --> 01:06:09,909 I certainly hope the boy's ready. 1131 01:06:09,911 --> 01:06:12,443 Well, I'm not going easy on him. 1132 01:06:22,456 --> 01:06:23,555 Heads up. 1133 01:06:25,092 --> 01:06:26,758 Hey, alto, you're flat. 1134 01:06:32,599 --> 01:06:33,932 Sloom. 1135 01:06:33,934 --> 01:06:36,369 - Sister. - Darling, I... 1136 01:06:36,371 --> 01:06:38,137 I know the last time we saw each other, 1137 01:06:38,139 --> 01:06:39,637 we had that horrible fight. 1138 01:06:39,639 --> 01:06:43,008 And I just wanted to tell you, from the bottom of my heart, 1139 01:06:43,010 --> 01:06:45,910 I won that fight! And I was glad I cheated! 1140 01:06:45,912 --> 01:06:49,948 You won? Still a sore loser, as always! 1141 01:06:49,950 --> 01:06:52,718 I want a rematch! Right here! Right now! 1142 01:06:52,720 --> 01:06:55,253 Auntie Sloom? Can I get you anything? 1143 01:06:55,255 --> 01:06:56,622 When's the Mazurka? 1144 01:06:56,624 --> 01:06:58,224 Soon, soon. 1145 01:06:58,226 --> 01:07:00,059 Our daughter Wednesday isn't here yet. 1146 01:07:00,061 --> 01:07:02,827 If your daughter can't be on time, 1147 01:07:02,829 --> 01:07:05,132 then we will begin without her! 1148 01:07:05,766 --> 01:07:08,399 Very well, Auntie Sloom. 1149 01:07:11,805 --> 01:07:15,242 Attention, please. Attention! 1150 01:07:17,644 --> 01:07:20,579 The hour is upon us. 1151 01:07:20,581 --> 01:07:21,682 Places! 1152 01:07:35,429 --> 01:07:41,200 We gather today to witness my son, Pugsley Addams, 1153 01:07:41,202 --> 01:07:44,005 perform his Sabre Mazurka. 1154 01:08:06,693 --> 01:08:10,296 He will begin with a reading from the Terror, 1155 01:08:10,298 --> 01:08:14,068 which commemorates our cries in battle. 1156 01:08:36,023 --> 01:08:39,927 And now, the transition into manhood. 1157 01:08:57,711 --> 01:09:00,545 And now, the Sabre Mazurka. 1158 01:09:08,588 --> 01:09:09,890 Hold still. 1159 01:09:11,926 --> 01:09:14,293 The Addams mustache. 1160 01:09:14,295 --> 01:09:15,896 Now you're ready. 1161 01:10:26,300 --> 01:10:27,368 Pugsley? 1162 01:10:30,037 --> 01:10:31,637 I give up. 1163 01:10:31,639 --> 01:10:33,474 I can't do it, Pop. 1164 01:10:35,008 --> 01:10:36,209 Oh. 1165 01:10:38,846 --> 01:10:40,014 I'm sorry. 1166 01:10:40,948 --> 01:10:42,981 I let you down. 1167 01:10:42,983 --> 01:10:45,953 You haven't let me down, Pugsley. 1168 01:10:47,188 --> 01:10:48,954 I let you down. 1169 01:10:48,956 --> 01:10:50,656 I was so focused on doing things 1170 01:10:50,658 --> 01:10:52,456 the traditional way, 1171 01:10:52,458 --> 01:10:54,595 I forgot to let you be who you are. 1172 01:10:59,032 --> 01:11:00,098 Hey! 1173 01:11:00,100 --> 01:11:04,003 Are ya ready for your Margaux makeover now? 1174 01:11:04,005 --> 01:11:05,304 It's Margaux. 1175 01:11:05,306 --> 01:11:06,671 She must have turned the whole town 1176 01:11:06,673 --> 01:11:08,307 into stark raving lunatics. 1177 01:11:08,309 --> 01:11:10,709 Well, I have to admit, I admire her work. 1178 01:11:10,711 --> 01:11:11,844 Let's do this thing! 1179 01:11:11,846 --> 01:11:13,679 It's locked and loaded, Margaux. 1180 01:11:13,681 --> 01:11:16,084 Let's go get 'em! We've had enough! 1181 01:11:16,649 --> 01:11:17,651 Fire! 1182 01:11:22,588 --> 01:11:26,426 Get out! 1183 01:11:32,899 --> 01:11:34,332 Pugsley! 1184 01:11:34,334 --> 01:11:37,402 What is the true meaning of the Mazurka? 1185 01:11:37,404 --> 01:11:39,905 It's about protecting our family 1186 01:11:39,907 --> 01:11:42,107 from those who would do us harm! 1187 01:11:42,109 --> 01:11:45,513 Go ahead. Show 'em what you're good at. 1188 01:11:50,184 --> 01:11:54,253 All we have to do is pull down the side walls! 1189 01:11:54,255 --> 01:11:56,286 You shouldn't mess with me 1190 01:11:56,288 --> 01:11:58,523 You don't wanna mess with me 1191 01:11:58,525 --> 01:12:02,296 'Cause if you mess with me You're messing with my family 1192 01:12:05,466 --> 01:12:08,334 Everyone, follow my boy! 1193 01:12:13,407 --> 01:12:14,574 Hey, guys! 1194 01:12:31,591 --> 01:12:35,262 You might think that we are all loco 1195 01:12:39,766 --> 01:12:43,604 But this family is about to go global 1196 01:12:49,609 --> 01:12:51,077 Fire! 1197 01:12:53,514 --> 01:12:55,749 Shakalaka bang, baby! 1198 01:13:02,856 --> 01:13:04,689 Quick! Out this way! 1199 01:13:09,329 --> 01:13:11,164 Pop, I'm out of ammo! 1200 01:13:12,832 --> 01:13:14,433 We're trapped! 1201 01:13:36,657 --> 01:13:38,456 Hope I'm not crashing the party. 1202 01:13:38,458 --> 01:13:39,558 Wednesday! 1203 01:13:39,560 --> 01:13:40,858 Yeah! 1204 01:13:40,860 --> 01:13:42,729 Ichabod, quick, lower your branches! 1205 01:13:45,498 --> 01:13:47,167 Everyone, grab on! 1206 01:14:10,390 --> 01:14:15,460 Margaux Needler never stops until the project is complete. 1207 01:14:18,932 --> 01:14:20,267 Fire in the hole! 1208 01:14:22,034 --> 01:14:23,535 Mazurka! 1209 01:14:26,939 --> 01:14:28,372 Is everyone all right? 1210 01:14:28,374 --> 01:14:31,045 No limbs missing that weren't missing before you arrived? 1211 01:14:37,117 --> 01:14:41,286 My little raven, I'm so happy you returned. 1212 01:14:41,288 --> 01:14:42,887 Of course I came back. 1213 01:14:42,889 --> 01:14:43,955 I knew there was no way 1214 01:14:43,957 --> 01:14:45,456 you were going to save yourselves. 1215 01:14:45,458 --> 01:14:47,893 You are like weak baby squirrels. 1216 01:15:00,975 --> 01:15:02,075 Socrates. 1217 01:15:04,276 --> 01:15:06,881 Eight legs, nine lives. 1218 01:15:09,248 --> 01:15:11,418 You were right, cara mia. 1219 01:15:12,286 --> 01:15:13,887 People can be cruel. 1220 01:15:14,820 --> 01:15:16,220 What have we done? 1221 01:15:16,222 --> 01:15:18,756 They're just a family. 1222 01:15:18,758 --> 01:15:19,924 A family? 1223 01:15:19,926 --> 01:15:22,059 Oh, please! They're a bunch of monsters! 1224 01:15:22,061 --> 01:15:24,496 Don't go soft on me, people. 1225 01:15:24,498 --> 01:15:26,764 I will relish hounding you 1226 01:15:26,766 --> 01:15:29,000 until that nuclear waste dump of a house is gone 1227 01:15:29,002 --> 01:15:31,835 and your mutant family along with it! Ah! 1228 01:15:31,837 --> 01:15:34,906 Be careful what you wish for, Ms. Needler. 1229 01:15:34,908 --> 01:15:38,813 My family and I will never run from the likes of you again. 1230 01:15:44,450 --> 01:15:46,418 Deep breath, Margaux. 1231 01:15:46,420 --> 01:15:48,152 Okay, I have a finale to shoot. 1232 01:15:48,154 --> 01:15:49,787 Parker, let's go. 1233 01:15:49,789 --> 01:15:52,022 I'm not going anywhere with you. 1234 01:15:52,024 --> 01:15:53,325 I'm staying with my friend. 1235 01:15:53,327 --> 01:15:54,692 Your friend? 1236 01:15:54,694 --> 01:15:56,628 Parker, these people are freaks. 1237 01:15:56,630 --> 01:15:58,629 If they're freaks, then I'm a freak. 1238 01:15:58,631 --> 01:16:00,665 And so are all of you. 1239 01:16:00,667 --> 01:16:01,799 Exhibit A. 1240 01:16:01,801 --> 01:16:05,536 Ms. Gravely, you put your underwear in the freezer. 1241 01:16:05,538 --> 01:16:07,539 Hey, it's refreshing, okay? 1242 01:16:07,541 --> 01:16:09,707 Exhibit B. Trudy Pickering. 1243 01:16:09,709 --> 01:16:11,977 You sit on the toilet backwards. 1244 01:16:11,979 --> 01:16:14,545 Well, where else am I supposed to put my arms? 1245 01:16:14,547 --> 01:16:16,548 Wait, how did you know that? 1246 01:16:16,550 --> 01:16:20,552 Because your houses have been infested with Needler-Vision. 1247 01:16:20,554 --> 01:16:23,287 She has hidden cameras everywhere. 1248 01:16:23,289 --> 01:16:24,356 What? 1249 01:16:24,358 --> 01:16:27,024 And watches you all of the time. 1250 01:16:27,026 --> 01:16:28,125 In my private time? 1251 01:16:28,127 --> 01:16:29,193 That is creepy, actually. 1252 01:16:29,195 --> 01:16:31,795 - What else has she seen? - That is over the line! 1253 01:16:31,797 --> 01:16:32,964 Shut up! 1254 01:16:32,966 --> 01:16:36,335 Listen, you lemmings! This is my town. 1255 01:16:36,337 --> 01:16:39,071 You are nothing but a bunch of extras. 1256 01:16:39,073 --> 01:16:42,807 We are going to march down that hill and do a live show. 1257 01:16:42,809 --> 01:16:44,476 I expect you to convince 1258 01:16:44,478 --> 01:16:46,978 those brainless peons out there in the audience 1259 01:16:46,980 --> 01:16:49,513 that this is the perfect place to buy a house, 1260 01:16:49,515 --> 01:16:52,183 or none of you will be living here much longer. 1261 01:16:52,185 --> 01:16:53,852 - Do you hear me? - Actually, Mom, 1262 01:16:53,854 --> 01:16:55,586 everyone can hear you. 1263 01:16:55,588 --> 01:16:57,755 You've been live this whole time. 1264 01:16:57,757 --> 01:17:01,226 Three million people are watching you right now. 1265 01:17:01,228 --> 01:17:03,228 The real you, for a change. 1266 01:17:03,230 --> 01:17:05,763 Please, what do I care what a bunch of bloggers think? 1267 01:17:05,765 --> 01:17:06,865 Margaux? 1268 01:17:06,867 --> 01:17:07,933 What? 1269 01:17:07,935 --> 01:17:09,601 It's the network. 1270 01:17:09,603 --> 01:17:11,736 They're taking your show off the air. 1271 01:17:11,738 --> 01:17:12,903 What? 1272 01:17:12,905 --> 01:17:15,339 No. I'll be... I'll be bankrupt. 1273 01:17:15,341 --> 01:17:16,774 Who will buy all these houses? 1274 01:17:16,776 --> 01:17:19,710 Okay, watch this. Now's my chance. 1275 01:17:19,712 --> 01:17:23,514 Excuse me, I just tooted. 1276 01:17:23,516 --> 01:17:25,517 Furthermore, I think I can help you 1277 01:17:25,519 --> 01:17:27,052 get rid of those houses. 1278 01:17:27,054 --> 01:17:29,120 - What are you talking about? - Well, my dear, 1279 01:17:29,122 --> 01:17:32,022 you've got a bunch of houses you need to get rid of, 1280 01:17:32,024 --> 01:17:34,627 and I've got a bunch of family I need to get rid of. 1281 01:17:35,296 --> 01:17:36,760 Hello? 1282 01:17:36,762 --> 01:17:39,531 Excuse me. I'm Trudy. 1283 01:17:39,533 --> 01:17:43,602 Trudy Pickering. We... We never officially met... 1284 01:17:43,604 --> 01:17:46,036 Ah, yes. The toilet woman. 1285 01:17:46,038 --> 01:17:47,237 Right. 1286 01:17:47,239 --> 01:17:52,076 Listen, uh, please, give us a chance to make it right. 1287 01:17:52,078 --> 01:17:55,748 Let us have our own design intervention. 1288 01:17:56,749 --> 01:17:57,816 Mother, 1289 01:17:57,818 --> 01:18:00,284 I spent time with these people, 1290 01:18:00,286 --> 01:18:04,254 and it is true, they are odd. 1291 01:18:04,256 --> 01:18:05,956 But we shouldn't judge them 1292 01:18:05,958 --> 01:18:07,960 just because they're different. 1293 01:18:30,751 --> 01:18:32,282 - Have a wonderful day! - Whoo-hoo. 1294 01:18:32,284 --> 01:18:33,351 And there you are. 1295 01:18:33,353 --> 01:18:34,587 - Bye-bye. - Thanks! Bye! 1296 01:18:40,327 --> 01:18:41,960 Well, hello there! 1297 01:18:41,962 --> 01:18:44,763 Howdy, neighbor. How's the new house? 1298 01:18:44,765 --> 01:18:48,465 Oh, I love it. I hope you brought your umbrellas. 1299 01:18:48,467 --> 01:18:52,303 Oh, you put in a typhoon. What a great idea. 1300 01:18:52,305 --> 01:18:54,205 Don't forget the gift basket, silly. 1301 01:18:54,207 --> 01:18:55,607 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1302 01:18:55,609 --> 01:18:58,009 We got scented embalming fluid, 1303 01:18:58,011 --> 01:19:00,778 toes, teeth, a fruitcake, 1304 01:19:00,780 --> 01:19:03,482 rat bait, got some dried apricots... 1305 01:19:04,717 --> 01:19:07,652 He's like training a puppy, adorable but tiresome. 1306 01:19:07,654 --> 01:19:09,655 She's the woman of my dreams! 1307 01:19:09,657 --> 01:19:12,322 Her breath is like a baby's diaper. 1308 01:19:12,324 --> 01:19:14,726 Fester, stop! 1309 01:19:14,728 --> 01:19:18,196 Who would have thought a guy like me, a total zero, 1310 01:19:18,198 --> 01:19:21,465 would have ended up with you, an also zero? 1311 01:19:21,467 --> 01:19:23,403 Well, do come in! 1312 01:19:26,239 --> 01:19:29,573 Now, with the house rebuilt, Pugsley, 1313 01:19:29,575 --> 01:19:33,846 we can throw you the celebration you deserve! 1314 01:19:34,681 --> 01:19:38,519 You are Addams through and through. 1315 01:19:56,368 --> 01:20:00,340 Get out! 1316 01:20:01,341 --> 01:20:04,008 Oh, how lovely. The spirit's home. 1317 01:20:04,010 --> 01:20:07,213 Finally, back to normal. 1318 01:20:13,252 --> 01:20:14,585 We did good. 1319 01:20:14,587 --> 01:20:16,523 I won't tell anyone if you don't. 1320 01:20:37,877 --> 01:20:39,811 They're creepy And they're kooky 1321 01:20:39,813 --> 01:20:41,812 Mysterious and spooky 1322 01:20:41,814 --> 01:20:43,814 They're altogether ooky 1323 01:20:43,816 --> 01:20:45,286 The Addams family 1324 01:20:45,885 --> 01:20:47,786 There house is a museum 1325 01:20:47,788 --> 01:20:49,787 Where people come to see 'em 1326 01:20:49,789 --> 01:20:51,790 They really are a scream 1327 01:20:51,792 --> 01:20:53,227 The Addams family 1328 01:20:54,394 --> 01:20:55,396 Neat. 1329 01:20:56,429 --> 01:20:57,431 Sweet. 1330 01:21:00,300 --> 01:21:01,665 Petite. 1331 01:21:01,667 --> 01:21:03,634 So get a witch's shawl on 1332 01:21:03,636 --> 01:21:05,637 A broomstick You can crawl on 1333 01:21:05,639 --> 01:21:07,638 We're gonna pay a call on 1334 01:21:07,640 --> 01:21:10,276 The Addams family 1335 01:21:12,311 --> 01:21:13,744 Family, family 1336 01:21:13,746 --> 01:21:15,780 I'd go to war for my family 1337 01:21:15,782 --> 01:21:18,651 Ups and downs Wrong or right, it's family 1338 01:21:19,418 --> 01:21:20,485 They think that we crazy 1339 01:21:20,487 --> 01:21:22,687 They say that we crazy, can't handle it 1340 01:21:22,689 --> 01:21:26,424 My back on the wall Who I'mma call, my family 1341 01:21:26,426 --> 01:21:29,894 We different, we stick out Wig out, bug out 1342 01:21:29,896 --> 01:21:31,662 Pop out, hop out Go 1343 01:21:31,664 --> 01:21:33,430 Ball out, hey Show out 1344 01:21:33,432 --> 01:21:34,665 A'ight, this a party 1345 01:21:34,667 --> 01:21:37,000 Let's not make a problem No! 1346 01:21:37,002 --> 01:21:40,539 Why you looking at me like there's something, tell me 1347 01:21:40,541 --> 01:21:43,441 You should know it's not just me that you'll be rubbing 1348 01:21:43,443 --> 01:21:46,113 The wrong way, so you better think twice 1349 01:21:47,480 --> 01:21:50,848 You shouldn't mess with me You don't want to mess with me 1350 01:21:50,850 --> 01:21:54,318 'Cause if you mess with me You're messing with my family 1351 01:21:54,320 --> 01:21:55,719 You shouldn't mess with me 1352 01:21:55,721 --> 01:21:57,054 You don't want to mess with me 1353 01:21:57,056 --> 01:21:58,188 No! 1354 01:21:58,190 --> 01:21:59,390 'Cause if you mess with me 1355 01:21:59,392 --> 01:22:01,226 You're messing with my family 1356 01:22:01,228 --> 01:22:04,528 Ay, ay, ay, ay 1357 01:22:04,530 --> 01:22:07,967 You might think that we are all loco 1358 01:22:08,667 --> 01:22:10,335 Ay, ay, ay 1359 01:22:10,337 --> 01:22:11,702 Don't mess with my family 1360 01:22:11,704 --> 01:22:14,705 But this family about to go global 1361 01:22:14,707 --> 01:22:15,875 We blowin' up! 1362 01:22:18,144 --> 01:22:19,246 Yeah, yeah 1363 01:22:20,012 --> 01:22:21,144 Yeah, yeah 1364 01:22:36,029 --> 01:22:37,195 Don't mess with my family 1365 01:22:37,197 --> 01:22:39,830 A'ight, this a party Let's not make a problem 1366 01:22:39,832 --> 01:22:41,031 No! 1367 01:22:41,033 --> 01:22:43,567 Why you looking at me like there's something, tell me 1368 01:22:43,569 --> 01:22:46,704 You should know it's not just me that you'll be rubbing 1369 01:22:46,706 --> 01:22:47,871 The wrong way 1370 01:22:47,873 --> 01:22:49,409 So you better think twice 1371 01:22:50,944 --> 01:22:52,576 You shouldn't mess with me 1372 01:22:52,578 --> 01:22:54,411 You don't wanna mess with me 1373 01:22:54,413 --> 01:22:55,847 'Cause if you mess with me 1374 01:22:55,849 --> 01:22:58,015 You're messing with my family 1375 01:22:58,017 --> 01:22:59,550 You shouldn't mess with me 1376 01:22:59,552 --> 01:23:01,552 You don't wanna mess with me 1377 01:23:01,554 --> 01:23:04,925 'Cause if you mess with me, you're messing with my family 1378 01:23:07,459 --> 01:23:08,694 Yeah, yeah, yeah 1379 01:23:09,930 --> 01:23:11,899 You're messing with my family 1380 01:23:14,133 --> 01:23:15,935 - Yeah - Yeah, yeah, yeah 1381 01:23:17,471 --> 01:23:18,568 Don't mess with my family 1382 01:23:18,570 --> 01:23:19,637 No! 1383 01:23:19,639 --> 01:23:22,139 Ay, ay, ay, ay 1384 01:23:22,141 --> 01:23:23,308 You might think 1385 01:23:23,310 --> 01:23:25,579 That we are all loco 1386 01:23:26,378 --> 01:23:29,379 Ay, ay, ay 1387 01:23:29,381 --> 01:23:30,548 But this family 1388 01:23:30,550 --> 01:23:32,316 About to go global 1389 01:23:33,418 --> 01:23:35,119 They say that we mean Mean 1390 01:23:35,121 --> 01:23:36,954 They say that we rude Rude 1391 01:23:36,956 --> 01:23:38,755 They say we got problems Problems 1392 01:23:38,757 --> 01:23:40,592 But we say it's cool 1393 01:23:40,594 --> 01:23:41,959 Family, family 1394 01:23:41,961 --> 01:23:44,161 I'd go to war for my family 1395 01:23:44,163 --> 01:23:47,298 Ups and downs Wrong or right, it's family 1396 01:23:47,300 --> 01:23:50,602 Ay, ay, ay, ay 1397 01:23:50,604 --> 01:23:52,970 You might think that we are all loco 1398 01:23:52,972 --> 01:23:54,638 Don't mess with my family 1399 01:23:54,640 --> 01:23:57,575 Ay, ay, ay, 1400 01:23:57,577 --> 01:24:00,777 But this family is about to go global 1401 01:24:09,489 --> 01:24:10,754 There's no bell 1402 01:24:10,756 --> 01:24:12,492 When you call for me 1403 01:24:13,658 --> 01:24:17,760 You'll be falling for miles 1404 01:24:17,762 --> 01:24:21,598 I'm bewitched by your misery 1405 01:24:21,600 --> 01:24:26,137 But I love it when you smile 1406 01:24:26,139 --> 01:24:29,042 Let me know what you want from me 1407 01:24:30,376 --> 01:24:34,045 Whisper "love" in my ears 1408 01:24:34,047 --> 01:24:37,117 Before you try to get your hooks in me 1409 01:24:38,885 --> 01:24:43,019 I should warn you, my dear 1410 01:24:43,021 --> 01:24:46,523 My heart is a haunted house 1411 01:24:46,525 --> 01:24:50,728 Once you're in, you ain't getting out 1412 01:24:50,730 --> 01:24:54,564 It's the trap you've been waiting for 1413 01:24:54,566 --> 01:24:58,335 Ain't no windows, ain't no doors 1414 01:24:58,337 --> 01:25:01,475 No escaping the way you feel 1415 01:25:02,908 --> 01:25:06,477 It's like a dream, but you hope it's real 1416 01:25:06,479 --> 01:25:09,082 My, my, my heart 1417 01:25:10,216 --> 01:25:14,384 M-m-m-my heart is a haunted 1418 01:25:14,386 --> 01:25:15,922 Haunted house 1419 01:25:21,761 --> 01:25:25,729 Watch yourself when you walk to me 1420 01:25:25,731 --> 01:25:29,599 Careful where your heart treads 1421 01:25:29,601 --> 01:25:33,072 Suddenly, you'll be in too deep 1422 01:25:34,707 --> 01:25:38,209 You'll be caught up in my web 1423 01:25:38,211 --> 01:25:40,581 You will think of me constantly 1424 01:25:42,081 --> 01:25:44,851 And it will drive you insane 1425 01:25:45,918 --> 01:25:49,256 Like the tattoo you can't remove 1426 01:25:50,590 --> 01:25:55,092 Like the blood in your veins 1427 01:25:55,094 --> 01:25:58,696 My heart is a haunted house 1428 01:25:58,698 --> 01:26:02,866 Once you're in, you ain't getting out 1429 01:26:02,868 --> 01:26:06,804 It's the trap you've been waiting for 1430 01:26:06,806 --> 01:26:10,073 Ain't no windows, ain't no doors 1431 01:26:10,075 --> 01:26:13,212 There's no escaping the way you feel 1432 01:26:14,881 --> 01:26:18,549 It's like a dream, but you hope it's real 1433 01:26:18,551 --> 01:26:20,454 My, my, my heart 1434 01:26:22,255 --> 01:26:27,994 - M-m-m-my heart is a haunted - Haunted house 1435 01:26:30,630 --> 01:26:33,865 Yeah 1436 01:26:33,867 --> 01:26:37,170 - It's a haunted house - Haunted house