1 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:32,152 [Joe] Can you believe it? These goddamn bad guys are always late! 2 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,487 [Tony on radio] They'll be here. 3 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,865 Oh, when, Tony? We've been sittin' here for two hours already! 4 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:40,327 Well, we've had this meeting planned for weeks now, Joe. 5 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,871 They'll be here. Be patient, all right? 6 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:45,332 -[Joe] Yeah, so will the Easter Bunny. -Mmm-hmm. 7 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,376 -And my next birthday. -Uh-huh. 8 00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,211 And guess what? 9 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:50,629 [vehicle approaching] 10 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,090 It's about goddamn time. 11 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,607 Did you bring the money? 12 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:12,359 No, I got food stamps. 13 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,820 I'm tellin' you, man. I don't trust this dude. 14 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,696 Look, my friend, I deal in stolen merchandise. 15 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,532 I'm not a very trustworthy individual. 16 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,367 You know, it's always the same with you guys. 17 00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:23,120 You show up late then you start askin' dumb questions. 18 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,913 Should've checked him out. He could be a cop. 19 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:28,458 Yeah, I could be Elvis, and I could be the Wizard of Oz, 20 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:29,876 and I could be home watchin' the Lakers. 21 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,670 Look, you want to deal or not? 22 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:38,969 All right, show him the stuff. 23 00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:43,682 C'mon, hurry up. I'm late. 24 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,359 -Get your hand outta there. -Really? 25 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:55,485 [grunting] 26 00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:58,905 Police! Stop! 27 00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,157 [man] C'mon, move! 28 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:01,491 Nobody listens. 29 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,619 [screaming] 30 00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,329 [Joe] Tony, get over here! 31 00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,040 C'mon, Tony! C'mon! 32 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,918 [grunting] Ah! 33 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,003 I'm hit. 34 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,839 -Where'd he get you? -My leg, man! I can't move my leg. 35 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:17,924 It's not your leg you can't move. 36 00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:20,802 -You've got a piece of glass in your ass! -Ouch! 37 00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,345 -[gunshot] -[sighs] 38 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,767 -Turn around! -[groans] 39 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:30,353 [gun clicks] 40 00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:37,194 First, these guys show up late, then they ask dumb questions, 41 00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:39,529 then shoot my partner in the ass. 42 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,031 God, they're pissing me off. 43 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,543 [scoffs] 44 00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,128 Beginner's luck. 45 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,340 [blows] 46 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:00,550 Hey, thanks a lot. 47 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:01,927 [Joe] Sixty-eight... 48 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:04,721 Sixty-nine... 49 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:07,933 Seventy. 50 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,186 -Jesus, Joe, she's not in. -She's in. I know it. 51 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:12,854 Then why don't she answer? 52 00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:14,564 She knows it's me, Al. 53 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:17,442 She's just sitting there, watching the phone ring, not answering. 54 00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:19,069 -I can feel it. -[line ringing] 55 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,822 She's tryin' to grind me down. I know it. 56 00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:23,907 [laughing] You're crazy, Joe. 57 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,660 You're outta your tiny Jersey mind. 58 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:29,120 -[man] Hey, Vince, over here. -Hey, how ya doin'? 59 00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:30,664 [man] All right. Let's go. 60 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,750 -[telephone ringing] -[humming] 61 00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,096 Eighty... 62 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:48,557 Eighty-one... 63 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,997 Hey, it's Detective Alka Seltzer. 64 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,540 Not today, okay, Ross? 65 00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:17,460 -You're very funny you know that? -Thanks, Fred. 66 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:21,673 Oh, by the way, is it true you used Tony's butt for cover? 67 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,259 Oh, boy! 68 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:27,178 Now, there is a butt I could use for cover. 69 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,180 Ross, you better watch what you say about Gwen. 70 00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:30,599 About Gwen? 71 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:34,853 Oh, I'm sorry, Joe. Are you and the Lieutenant involved? 72 00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:38,398 I mean, if I thought you were involved, I never would have said a word. 73 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,900 Hey, Joe, Lieutenant wants to see you. 74 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,820 -I think she's in kind of a weird mood. -Uh-oh. 75 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,657 -Lover's tiff. -Mm-hmm. 76 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,162 Morning. 77 00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:53,788 [sighs] Sit down, Joe. 78 00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,543 You know what I was just thinking about? 79 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:02,047 -Remember Catalina? -Of course. 80 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,466 -That was a great weekend. -[chuckles] The best. 81 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:08,511 What made it so great was that I was in love. 82 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,013 Me too! 83 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,015 Uh... 84 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:17,729 Remember what I told you Sunday morning when we were sitting out on the terrace? 85 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,650 -That you liked me to nibble-- -Not that. 86 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:26,154 -That I was the first man-- -Not that. The other stuff. 87 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,115 Oh, the feeling stuff. 88 00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:30,742 Right. 89 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:35,497 The feeling stuff and the responsibility stuff. 90 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:36,581 Ah, c'mon, Gwen. 91 00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:37,749 If this is about the bust-- 92 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,210 I am not talking about that fiasco you call a bust. 93 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,462 I'm talking about you going out and getting drunk 94 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,839 with your buddies while I sit up half the night worrying. 95 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:47,133 -Oh, Gwen. -I can't believe you didn't call. 96 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,386 Honey, it was late. I didn't want to wake you. 97 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,975 -Here, hold this. -Why? 98 00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:57,811 Hold the file and make it look like we're talking about police business. 99 00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,980 I don't want the precinct knowing about us. 100 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,232 Gwen, they're detectives. I think they know already. 101 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,566 What was I supposed to think, Joe? 102 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,027 The first word out was that somebody was hit, they didn't know who. 103 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:07,654 Then they told me that Tony got hit in the butt 104 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,156 and you left over an hour ago to go get some more beer! 105 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,241 Honey, it's true, I did. 106 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,702 I went out, I had a few drinks, I talked with the guys. 107 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:14,953 -Yeah? -Yeah. 108 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:16,788 Well, gee, that's funny, Joe, 109 00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:20,041 because Lou told me that you spent the entire evening on the telephone. 110 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:25,714 So tell me, who were you calling? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me. 111 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,510 I was calling my mom. 112 00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,555 Excuse me? 113 00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:37,600 I was calling my mom. 114 00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:41,896 Right, you were calling your mom at 2:30 in the morning. 115 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,815 That is the most pathetic excuse I've ever heard! 116 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:46,026 Why don't you just tell me who she is? 117 00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:48,737 Gwen, she isn't anybody. She's my mom! 118 00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,906 Well, it doesn't really matter because as far as I'm concerned, 119 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,867 it could be your mom, it could be a dial-a-bimbo. 120 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,493 That's it! It's over between us. 121 00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:57,203 Oh, come on. You don't mean that. 122 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,955 Yes, I do. I mean every word of it. 123 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,166 It's starting to embarrass me in my work. 124 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,793 You run away from responsibility, you run away from commitment. 125 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:04,878 I'll pack your things and-- 126 00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,838 Gwen, I'm not gonna stand here and listen to this. 127 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:07,964 -Where are you going? -Fishin'. 128 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,550 Get back here! Get back in this office! 129 00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:13,678 Get back in this office, Bomowski! That's an order! 130 00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,056 [line ringing] 131 00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,308 Mom, I know you're there. Come on, you can do it. 132 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:22,020 Come on! 133 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,024 Ah, please, God, make her pick up. 134 00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:30,779 Okay, that's it. 135 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,031 I've had it. I've really had it. 136 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:34,949 I'm a dead man. 137 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,381 [sighs] 138 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,310 Is this the Newark flight? 139 00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,229 Yes, they're coming off right now. 140 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:07,315 [woman over PA] Passengers on Flight 276 from Chicago 141 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:10,276 may now proceed to the baggage claim area. 142 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:17,784 Passengers on Flight 276 from Chicago may now proceed to the baggage claim area. 143 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,036 Relax, Joe, relax. 144 00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:21,996 [laughing] 145 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,541 -I think that's him. -It is. 146 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,708 Little Joey. 147 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,127 [women giggling] 148 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:32,215 -You must be Joe. -Yes, why? 149 00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,676 I was a bed wetter too. 150 00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,472 [Tutti] It was so sweet, you wouldn't believe it. 151 00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:40,598 He walked into the kitchen. 152 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:43,601 He said, "Mommy, my pee-pee got stuck in my zipper." 153 00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:45,061 [all laughing] 154 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,690 Joey! There's my Joey! 155 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,817 There's my little boy. Joey, Joey. 156 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,735 There's my boy! There's my boy! 157 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:54,112 Joey, Joey. 158 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:56,072 Come here! 159 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,198 Mom... 160 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,161 -Oh, I see you've given up shaving. -No, I shave. 161 00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,580 -You call that a shave? -I swear, I shaved! 162 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,415 What did you do? Use a lawn mower? 163 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:08,585 Joey, what girl's gonna marry you if she's gonna get cut to pieces 164 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:09,961 every time she gets close to you? 165 00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:13,256 -Hi, Tutti. -So, this is little Joey, huh? 166 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,632 Looks a lot of different in clothes. 167 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,092 We've got to be getting along now, Tu, 168 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,636 but thanks a lot for showing us the photos. 169 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:22,557 You know, you looked real sexy in those diapers. 170 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:26,060 Oh, Sally, if things don't work out with the doctor, 171 00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:28,104 don't forget, Joey is single. 172 00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:31,357 [Sally] Great! I've always been a sucker for a guy in Pampers. 173 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,984 [girls laughing] 174 00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,655 [chuckles] What? What? 175 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,533 I can't get over it. You're driving. 176 00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,493 Oh, Ma, I've been driving for 20 years. 177 00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:44,913 I can't help it. You'll always be my little Joey. 178 00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:52,003 So, Ma, where have you been for the last few days? 179 00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,714 At home in New Jersey of course. Where else would I be? 180 00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,674 Well, I must have called you 50 times. 181 00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,552 That was you? You never call! 182 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:01,054 That was me. Why didn't you answer? 183 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,058 For five years, every time I'm about to visit, 184 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:08,478 you call and say it's a bad time. Five years, Joe! 185 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:12,565 Well, this time I decided I wouldn't answer the phone just in case you called. 186 00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:13,942 Aw, Ma, that's the single, most-- 187 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,860 -Watch out! -[dog barking] 188 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:16,986 [tires screeching] 189 00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:23,034 -Moron! -Up yours, pal! 190 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,452 [stuttering] 191 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,746 Joey! 192 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:31,501 Sorry. 193 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,586 -Would you like me to drive? -No! 194 00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:35,838 No, Mom. 195 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:37,757 I'm okay. 196 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,973 Well, that was a close call, wasn't it, Pixie? 197 00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:47,058 [dispatcher] All cars in the vicinity of Fourth and Main, 198 00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:50,436 please respond to 486 South Main Street, code two. 199 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,688 [siren wailing] 200 00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:57,986 -[Joe] What's going on? -We've got a jumper up there. 201 00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,487 Looks like he's gonna do it. 202 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,615 [honking] 203 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,122 Joey? 204 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:10,999 Joey! 205 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:12,875 The county shrink show up yet? 206 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,044 [officer] No, he's on his way. [Joe] Okay. 207 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,254 [Joe] All right, Mom, you stay right here. 208 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:17,463 Oh, my God, why? Where you going? 209 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,132 -I am going up there. -Oh, up there? 210 00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:21,384 Are you crazy! It's too dangerous. 211 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,637 Mom, I do this all the time. It just so happens I'm not bad at it. 212 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,098 I want you to stay here and let me take care of this. 213 00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:28,391 Don't do this... Joe! 214 00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,810 Joe, be careful. Don't do anything foolish. Joe, be careful. 215 00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:38,234 -Uh, excuse me, Officer. -Yes? 216 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,319 What seems to be the young man's problem? 217 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,363 Well, he wants to talk to his mother. 218 00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,198 Apparently they've been having some problems. 219 00:13:46,617 --> 00:13:47,827 Really? 220 00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,880 -I'll take care of this, Officer. -Yeah. 221 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:00,757 [sighs] 222 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:07,430 -Hey, kid! -[gasps] 223 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:08,723 How ya doin'? How ya doin'? You all right? 224 00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,475 Leave me alone. I don't want anyone touching me. 225 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:11,893 -You stay back. I swear to God--- -No, hey, hey. 226 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,853 Look, all I want to do is come there and talk with you. 227 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:16,314 Don't you tell me what to do! You stay right there! 228 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:17,690 I swear to God I'm gonna do it. 229 00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:20,318 [Tutti over PA] Yoo-hoo, young man. Down here. 230 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:23,571 I know I'm not your mother, but I am a mother. 231 00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,156 Oh, no, no! 232 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,492 I've been thinking you could talk to me if that's all right. 233 00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:30,745 -Officer, this is serious up here. -Let her talk. 234 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,497 What do you want? 235 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:36,584 I just want you to know that the young man next to you is my son. 236 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,002 Is that your mother? 237 00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:39,712 [Tutti] God knows he and I've had our difficulties with us. 238 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,005 Mom, stay out of this, okay? 239 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,467 -Joe, wave to the crowd, Joe. -Mom, god damn it! 240 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,511 -Hey, don't swear to your mother. -[Tutti] Relax... 241 00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,595 Hey, butt out! 242 00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:48,679 It's my mother, relax. 243 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:51,474 Hey, it's your mother. So you do what she tells you to do. 244 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:54,352 Now come on, you start wavin' or I'm jumping. 245 00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:55,978 -Start waving or I'll jump. -All right. Cut it out! 246 00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,647 Start waving or I'm jumping! 247 00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,733 I'm waving, see? Mom, hi. 248 00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:04,946 [Tutti] By the way, girls, Joe is still single. 249 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,447 How do you like that? 250 00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,199 He's a very nice boy. 251 00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:09,867 A little rough around the edges, 252 00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:12,412 but nothing that the right girl couldn't smooth out. 253 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:13,871 Officer, secure the megaphone! 254 00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:14,997 [Tutti] Anyway... 255 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:17,959 When Joe was little, we were fighting all the time. 256 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,378 You see, he was very small for his age. 257 00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:23,005 I was not small for my age. I was average height... 258 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,091 I was about your height. What's the big deal? 259 00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:27,260 Yeah, right. I bet she's got pictures. 260 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,595 -I've got pictures. Wait a minute. -[crowd laughing] 261 00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:30,805 She's got pictures. 262 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:33,224 Mom, please, get rid of the pictures! 263 00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:36,102 Is he adorable? 264 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,478 Anyway... 265 00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:39,730 Jesus, and I thought I had things bad. 266 00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,232 -Not close. -Excuse me. 267 00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:42,733 -I think I'm ready to go in now. -Yeah, yeah. 268 00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:45,862 -Sorry about the inconvenience. -No problem. 269 00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:51,701 I tell you, that guy needs help. 270 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,370 This is Leslie Parks for Channel 8 News. 271 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:57,081 We've just arrived downtown at Fourth and Main, 272 00:15:57,165 --> 00:16:00,334 where a man has gone out onto the ledge of a building, 273 00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,587 apparently despondent about his mother. 274 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:03,963 Make her stop! 275 00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:19,770 [Tutti] Are we here? 276 00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,689 Is that your house? 277 00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:30,198 What? 278 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,367 It's nice. It's very, very nice. 279 00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:35,411 -What's the matter? -Nothing! 280 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,039 Mom, you sniffed. I saw you sniffing. 281 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:41,167 No, really, it's nothing, only... 282 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,211 -Only what? -Joey... 283 00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:45,796 How do you expect to get a girl if you don't clean your house? 284 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,049 Mom, what are you talking about? I cleaned this house this morning, 285 00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:49,133 I clean and I clean. 286 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:51,219 It's not clean, Joey. Look at it. It's filled with dust. 287 00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:53,095 Just look at that. Look at this. 288 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:57,141 Look at the top of this thing. You could grow things on it. 289 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,811 What's this stuff underneath? 290 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:02,605 Is that the closet? 291 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,527 -No! -What? 292 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:08,736 [closet opens] 293 00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:13,908 All right, well, I've had a few problems since my cleaning lady left. 294 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:16,452 Maybe she didn't leave. Maybe she's lost in there. 295 00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:19,747 Oh, Joey, Joey. 296 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:22,750 [Joe] What? 297 00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:25,461 Pineapple chunks? 298 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,046 They're your favorite! 299 00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:29,298 Mom, we've got pineapple chunks in California. 300 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:31,551 They don't taste the same. 301 00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:34,554 Mom, it's canned pineapple chunks. It's exactly the same. 302 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,181 My son, the gourmet. [chuckles] 303 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,100 Come on up, darling. 304 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,605 -[vacuum cleaner whirs] -[gasping] 305 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,193 [Pixie barking] 306 00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:51,612 [sighs] 307 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:52,697 Ah! 308 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,949 [singing] This is the way we clean the house 309 00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,951 Clean the house Clean the house 310 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,704 This is the way we clean the house 311 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,956 Early in the morning 312 00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:05,042 [sighs] Oh, God, please, make her stop. 313 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,712 [whirring stops] 314 00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:12,675 Thank you, God. 315 00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:15,386 I owe you. 316 00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,475 [whirring starts] 317 00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,478 [grunts] 318 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:28,649 [grunts] 319 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,110 [humming] 320 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:36,866 What's this? 321 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:39,076 Oh, Joe's gun. 322 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:43,164 Look at this, all greasy and dirty. 323 00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:45,333 Let's see. 324 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,752 There we go. 325 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:50,379 First this and some of that. 326 00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:51,964 Some of this. 327 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:56,344 Let's see. A little of that. 328 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:01,432 Oh, that's gonna be good stuff. 329 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,434 Okay, now, let's see. 330 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:06,020 Where do they keep the bullets in these things? 331 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,606 [barking] 332 00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:09,940 They're not in there. 333 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,194 -What's this little thing here? -[clicks] 334 00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:15,905 Oops! Oh, goodness gracious. 335 00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:18,866 Yes, that's where they are. 336 00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,910 Okay, we'll wash those too. 337 00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:25,831 Okay. 338 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:29,502 [singing] And this is the way we wash our gun 339 00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,671 Wash our gun Wash our gun 340 00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:33,923 This is the way we wash our gun 341 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,008 Early in the morning 342 00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:39,095 That's gonna clean that out really, really well. 343 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,513 That's fine. 344 00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,600 [sighs] 345 00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,478 -[click] -[gasps] 346 00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,732 Go ahead, make your bed. 347 00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:52,900 [laughing] 348 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,070 Mom... 349 00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,490 What'd you do to my gun, Mom? 350 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,492 Nothing! I cleaned it. 351 00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:03,160 [stuttering] You didn't clean it. You ruined it! 352 00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,079 I mean, you took all the bluing off-- 353 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:06,831 Clorox, that's great, Mom. 354 00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:09,125 If I use this gun, it's gonna blow up in my hand now. 355 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,627 Well, try to do something helpful. 356 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,629 Try to do something nice and original. 357 00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,133 Get barked at by a snapping turtle. 358 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,259 C'mon, Pix. 359 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,386 Look, Ma, I'm sorry. Ma, I'm sorry, really. 360 00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,930 It's an old gun. I don't use it anymore. 361 00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:26,475 [sloshing] 362 00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:33,023 -Breakfast! -Mom! 363 00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:35,651 Oh, please, you don't have anything I haven't seen before. 364 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,737 Mom, would you turn around, please? 365 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:40,322 Both of you! 366 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,324 -God! -Uh... 367 00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:45,327 Pixie and I thought we'd pop into the station this afternoon, 368 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:48,330 you know, see where you work, meet a few of your friends. 369 00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:51,208 -Ow! Oh, God! -Did you cut yourself? 370 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:52,918 No! 371 00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:55,588 -Do you need some iodine? -No, Mom, no. 372 00:20:55,671 --> 00:20:56,714 You want a Band-Aid? 373 00:20:56,797 --> 00:21:00,301 No, Mom, listen, going to the station is totally out of the question, 374 00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:02,052 absolutely, unequivocally. 375 00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:03,179 We'll talk about it over breakfast. 376 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,306 Mom, I won't even discuss it, I'm serious! 377 00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:07,224 What did I always tell you? 378 00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:10,269 Breakfast is a big boy's most important meal of the day. 379 00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:13,606 Now, start on Cocoa Puffs, and I'll scramble you some eggs. 380 00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,065 I don't like eggs. 381 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:18,944 If you don't eat them for breakfast, they'll be here waiting for you at dinner. 382 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:24,825 [burps] 383 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:32,750 Bye-bye, sweetie. Have a nice day at work. 384 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,252 Oh, Joey, you forgot your lunch. 385 00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:38,589 [engine starts] 386 00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:51,352 We're not off to a very good start, are we, Pixie? 387 00:21:52,353 --> 00:21:54,230 I'll tell you, you know what we should do? 388 00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:58,025 We should get Joey something a little special. 389 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,277 Now, let's see. 390 00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:16,585 Hey, lady, you sure you wanna get out here? 391 00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:17,837 I mean, look at this place. 392 00:22:18,212 --> 00:22:20,172 Don't be ridiculous. I'm from Newark. 393 00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:22,216 [scoffs] 394 00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:27,346 [man] You want real stopping power? This is your baby. 395 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:30,766 Charter Arms, 44, Bulldog. 396 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:32,810 No, my son's is bigger. 397 00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:35,062 I got a bottle brush this long down the barrel of it. 398 00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:36,939 You put a bottle brush down the barrel of it? 399 00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:40,067 Yeah, I wanted to clean out the... Never mind. 400 00:22:40,234 --> 00:22:41,735 Okay, bigger. 401 00:22:42,570 --> 00:22:43,696 How 'bout this? 402 00:22:44,071 --> 00:22:45,114 That's it! 403 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:47,658 -Taurus PT 99, long barrel. -[clicks] 404 00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:50,119 This'll punch a hole through the engine block of a Pontiac. 405 00:22:50,202 --> 00:22:52,037 -How much? -This? $450. 406 00:22:52,121 --> 00:22:55,583 -$450! -Well, the Bulldog's only $325. 407 00:22:56,584 --> 00:23:00,379 No, no, I want the big one. I don't suppose you gift wrap, do you? 408 00:23:00,462 --> 00:23:03,132 -No. -Ah, never mind. I'll take it like that. 409 00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,092 There's a 15 day cooling-off period. 410 00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:07,011 What do you do? Give me your driver's license, 411 00:23:07,094 --> 00:23:08,345 I'll do all the paperwork. 412 00:23:08,429 --> 00:23:10,556 You come back in two weeks and this baby's yours. 413 00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:11,932 Two weeks? I need it today. 414 00:23:12,016 --> 00:23:13,767 Well, I'm sorry, lady. That's the law. 415 00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:17,396 Can I have it back, please? 416 00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:21,942 C'mon, Pixie girl. 417 00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:24,236 [Pixie barking] 418 00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:31,410 Hey, lady. 419 00:23:33,454 --> 00:23:35,122 You really want to buy a gun today? 420 00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:37,541 You got a gun for sale? 421 00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:39,209 [laughing] 422 00:23:41,128 --> 00:23:42,171 You do? 423 00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:44,423 Step into my office. 424 00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:47,384 -American made, lightweight-- -No, no, no. 425 00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:49,762 I want a Taurus 99, long barrel. 426 00:23:50,304 --> 00:23:52,348 If your son likes that, he'll love this. 427 00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:55,517 What's he gonna do with that? He carries his gun under his jacket. 428 00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:58,270 Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, wait a minute here. 429 00:23:58,354 --> 00:23:59,813 Here, here, here. 430 00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:03,484 What about one of these? You've seen Miami Vice, right? 431 00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:05,653 -[clicks] -This is a Mac 10. 432 00:24:06,153 --> 00:24:08,947 All the big drug dealers love this gun. 433 00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:11,492 No, I don't think that's exactly my Joey. 434 00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:12,743 Are you kidding? That's a full automatic. 435 00:24:12,826 --> 00:24:14,620 You know what that means? [mimics gunfire] 436 00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:16,372 Thirty shots in tow and a half seconds. 437 00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:18,165 You can cut down trees with that thing. 438 00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:21,460 -How much? -500. 439 00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:23,170 -Ha! -Ha? 440 00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:24,338 Ha! 441 00:24:24,838 --> 00:24:25,923 I'll give you 350. 442 00:24:36,517 --> 00:24:37,601 [sneezes] 443 00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:40,521 -They're there. -Great. 444 00:24:40,604 --> 00:24:42,022 -[sneezes] -Bless you. 445 00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:44,608 Paulie, I told you. I'm comin' down with something. 446 00:24:44,692 --> 00:24:46,318 You're not coming down with anything. You got allergies. 447 00:24:46,402 --> 00:24:47,945 I got a fever. I'm sick. 448 00:24:48,028 --> 00:24:50,280 Santa Ana winds are very, very heavy today. 449 00:24:50,364 --> 00:24:51,907 It wasn't from no Santa Ana winds. 450 00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:53,992 [buzzer] 451 00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:58,247 -Yeah? -[Paulie] Mr. Parnell? 452 00:24:58,580 --> 00:25:01,125 Yes, we've located the misappropriated merchandise. 453 00:25:01,709 --> 00:25:03,585 You're certain it's our merchandise? 454 00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:05,421 Then repossess it. 455 00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:06,714 Yes, sir, immediately, sir. 456 00:25:06,797 --> 00:25:08,257 -[sneezes] -Bless you. 457 00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,717 -It's a go, huh? -Let's go to work. 458 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,510 -Let's go. -[clicks] 459 00:25:11,593 --> 00:25:13,470 Listen, Junior. Do you want to sell me this gun 460 00:25:13,554 --> 00:25:16,390 or sit in the sun all afternoon dreaming about $500? 461 00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:21,228 Okay, okay. 462 00:25:22,396 --> 00:25:23,564 Okay. 463 00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:25,274 Don't forget that extra clip. 464 00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:36,076 Nice doing business with you boys. 465 00:25:36,410 --> 00:25:37,911 C'mon, Pixie girl. 466 00:25:40,330 --> 00:25:41,999 [tires screeching] 467 00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:56,013 [groaning] 468 00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:04,146 Going around the front! 469 00:26:04,646 --> 00:26:05,981 [tires screeching] 470 00:26:08,275 --> 00:26:09,443 Damn! 471 00:26:39,973 --> 00:26:41,308 [car honking] 472 00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:55,656 Morning. 473 00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:08,377 -[burps] -There you go. 474 00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:09,670 Thanks. 475 00:27:18,053 --> 00:27:19,263 Got a hangover? 476 00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:22,099 Heartburn. 477 00:27:22,766 --> 00:27:23,767 Hmm. 478 00:27:24,309 --> 00:27:25,769 What'd you eat for breakfast? 479 00:27:27,187 --> 00:27:30,023 -Juice, fruit, milk... -Mmm-hmm. 480 00:27:30,566 --> 00:27:33,360 Eggs, bacon, sausage, 481 00:27:34,903 --> 00:27:36,113 hash browns, 482 00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:39,575 toast, pancakes, 483 00:27:42,661 --> 00:27:43,871 honey rolls, 484 00:27:45,414 --> 00:27:46,582 Cocoa Puffs. 485 00:27:47,708 --> 00:27:49,376 -There's more. -Damn! 486 00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:51,628 You must've been starving. 487 00:27:51,712 --> 00:27:53,213 I wasn't hungry, Tony. 488 00:27:55,799 --> 00:27:57,259 My mother's visiting. 489 00:27:59,303 --> 00:28:02,472 Wow, man, when your mama cooks, she cooks! 490 00:28:02,556 --> 00:28:03,765 Mmm. 491 00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:09,938 But, you know, breakfast is supposed to be the most important meal of the day. 492 00:28:14,276 --> 00:28:15,485 Thank you, Tony. 493 00:28:15,903 --> 00:28:17,029 Mmm-hmm. 494 00:28:21,033 --> 00:28:22,618 All right, you guys have a nice day. 495 00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:23,952 -Hey, Joe. -Yeah? 496 00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:26,288 -Thank God you've arrived. -Why? 497 00:28:26,371 --> 00:28:28,415 -Your mom, she's here. -My mom? 498 00:28:28,498 --> 00:28:30,417 -Yes. -[woman giggling] 499 00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:32,169 [woman] What is this, the chicken pox? 500 00:28:33,670 --> 00:28:35,380 Yeah, he looks very good in spots. 501 00:28:35,464 --> 00:28:37,215 [Tutti] He told everybody it was freckles. 502 00:28:37,299 --> 00:28:38,675 [all laughing] 503 00:28:41,011 --> 00:28:43,430 -Mom, are you okay? -I'm fine, I'm fine. 504 00:28:43,513 --> 00:28:45,849 It's a terrible world. These things happen. 505 00:28:45,933 --> 00:28:47,684 -What things happened? -Your mom witnessed a murder. 506 00:28:48,268 --> 00:28:49,478 You witnessed a murder? 507 00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:50,854 Yeah, Joey, downtown. 508 00:28:50,938 --> 00:28:52,856 Oh, Mom, what were you doing downtown? 509 00:28:52,940 --> 00:28:55,317 Shopping! Now relax. Just have one of these neat cookies. 510 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,361 -Shut up, Ross. -[Ross] Hey, Joey. 511 00:28:57,444 --> 00:28:59,571 You're right. Maybe I should get the Lieutenant because I'm sure-- 512 00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:00,739 -No. -What's going on? 513 00:29:00,822 --> 00:29:02,115 Nothing. 514 00:29:02,199 --> 00:29:03,992 -Nothing is going on. -I'm a witness. 515 00:29:04,076 --> 00:29:06,328 -Who is this, Detective? -Oh, I'll introduce you. 516 00:29:06,411 --> 00:29:08,038 Hey, Ross, you know you better shut up and I mean it. 517 00:29:08,121 --> 00:29:10,499 This is Tutti, Joey's mom. 518 00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:13,126 Joey's mom? 519 00:29:13,543 --> 00:29:16,088 That's right, Gwen, my mom. 520 00:29:17,547 --> 00:29:19,341 Now that you can see, this has all been a terrible shock 521 00:29:19,424 --> 00:29:21,635 -so I'm gonna take her home now. -Gwen? 522 00:29:21,718 --> 00:29:23,387 There was a drive-by shooting this morning. 523 00:29:23,470 --> 00:29:25,180 Mrs. Bomowski is one of my principle witnesses. 524 00:29:25,264 --> 00:29:26,473 [Joe] What do you mean your witness? 525 00:29:26,556 --> 00:29:27,724 It's my case, Joey. 526 00:29:27,808 --> 00:29:31,853 Oh, and your mom said she'd be happy to stay through the end of the month. 527 00:29:31,937 --> 00:29:33,230 You said what? 528 00:29:33,647 --> 00:29:36,358 You are so beautiful, Gwen. I had no idea. 529 00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:38,652 -All that lovely hair and that smile. -Thanks. 530 00:29:38,735 --> 00:29:41,238 You see, Joey, if you had listened to me about your retainers 531 00:29:41,321 --> 00:29:42,739 you could have had teeth just like Gwen. 532 00:29:42,823 --> 00:29:45,450 -Okay, Mom, say good-bye-- -Not so fast, Detective. 533 00:29:45,534 --> 00:29:47,286 I want to interview the witness. 534 00:29:48,870 --> 00:29:50,872 -Gwen, what are you trying to do to me? -Do to you? 535 00:29:50,956 --> 00:29:52,541 -This whole thing is just ridiculous! -Detective... 536 00:29:52,624 --> 00:29:55,002 Your mother witnesses a murder and you think it's ridiculous! 537 00:29:55,085 --> 00:29:57,921 No, my mother witnesses a murder, Ross thinks he's handling the case. 538 00:29:58,005 --> 00:29:59,006 That's what is ridiculous! 539 00:29:59,089 --> 00:30:00,257 Well, I can't very well transfer it to you. 540 00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:01,591 Well, Ross told her to stay in town, Gwen! 541 00:30:01,675 --> 00:30:02,676 Of course, he did. 542 00:30:02,843 --> 00:30:05,012 Oh, come on, Gwen. She's supposed to go back Monday. 543 00:30:05,095 --> 00:30:07,472 That was before she witnessed a drive-by killing. 544 00:30:07,556 --> 00:30:09,641 -Well, can't we fly her back? -Now, you're being ridiculous. 545 00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:10,726 Oh, come on, Gwen. 546 00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:13,103 If she stays past Monday, I swear to God I'm killing myself. 547 00:30:13,186 --> 00:30:14,438 What is wrong with you, Joe? 548 00:30:14,521 --> 00:30:16,106 Tutti seems like a wonderful person, 549 00:30:16,189 --> 00:30:18,358 warm, caring, obviously crazy about you. 550 00:30:18,442 --> 00:30:19,651 Yeah, crazy is right! 551 00:30:19,735 --> 00:30:21,278 She acts like I'm in second grade, Gwen. 552 00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:23,405 She talks to total strangers about my diaper rash. 553 00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:25,365 She just humiliates me! 554 00:30:25,449 --> 00:30:26,950 I'd say she loves you, Joe. 555 00:30:27,034 --> 00:30:28,827 Well, her love is driving me nuts! 556 00:30:28,910 --> 00:30:30,537 Well, either way, she's staying. 557 00:30:36,418 --> 00:30:38,670 C'mon, Joe, how bad can it be? 558 00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:41,715 Two, three weeks tops. 559 00:30:47,888 --> 00:30:49,056 This is about us, right? 560 00:30:50,474 --> 00:30:52,434 This is about revenge. 561 00:30:54,478 --> 00:30:56,980 Are you suggesting I would use my rank in a personal matter? 562 00:30:57,064 --> 00:30:58,065 Yes! 563 00:30:58,148 --> 00:31:00,650 Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Detective. 564 00:31:03,445 --> 00:31:04,571 Gwen! 565 00:31:05,238 --> 00:31:07,240 You can call me Lieutenant. 566 00:31:12,037 --> 00:31:13,288 [Tutti] Oh, don't be such a gloomy Gus. 567 00:31:13,372 --> 00:31:14,706 Think of all the time we'll spend together. 568 00:31:14,790 --> 00:31:15,916 Hmm. 569 00:31:17,334 --> 00:31:19,086 Don't you wanna hear my plan? 570 00:31:20,670 --> 00:31:22,839 I just wanna brush my teeth and go to bed, Mom. 571 00:31:24,216 --> 00:31:26,676 Joe, you and I together can crack this case. 572 00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:29,846 And when we find the killer, I won't be surprised if you get a promotion. 573 00:31:29,930 --> 00:31:33,100 And once you're promoted, things'll work out with you and Gwen. 574 00:31:34,851 --> 00:31:35,936 Gwen? 575 00:31:41,149 --> 00:31:42,275 Good night. 576 00:31:50,450 --> 00:31:52,869 Joe, about the shooting. 577 00:31:52,953 --> 00:31:56,289 I didn't tell Ross what I really saw. I held it all back for you. 578 00:32:00,627 --> 00:32:02,754 It's a joke. You're joking, right, Ma? 579 00:32:02,838 --> 00:32:03,922 No, it's not a joke. 580 00:32:04,005 --> 00:32:07,259 Mom, you witnessed a homicide. You just can't fool around with a homicide. 581 00:32:07,342 --> 00:32:09,886 Joe, you need this. It'll help you get that promotion. 582 00:32:09,970 --> 00:32:11,304 I don't want to get a promotion. 583 00:32:11,388 --> 00:32:14,015 -But, Joe, you're only a sergeant. -I like being a sergeant. 584 00:32:14,099 --> 00:32:15,600 Next you'll tell me you like where you live. 585 00:32:15,684 --> 00:32:18,478 Mom, I do like where I live, Mom. 586 00:32:18,562 --> 00:32:21,648 I am happy. I don't wanna get promoted. I don't want to get married. 587 00:32:21,731 --> 00:32:23,984 Don't you get it? I like my life. 588 00:32:24,317 --> 00:32:26,820 I like wearing my underwear more than once before I change it. 589 00:32:26,903 --> 00:32:28,864 I like leaving the toilet seat up without feeling guilty. 590 00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:30,657 I like to be the master of my own remote control. 591 00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:32,492 Mom, I like my life! 592 00:32:33,243 --> 00:32:35,245 You call this a life? 593 00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:43,170 Good night, Mom. 594 00:32:48,758 --> 00:32:50,343 -[gunshots] -[people screaming] 595 00:32:52,095 --> 00:32:53,388 [siren wailing] 596 00:32:56,016 --> 00:32:57,267 [gunshots] 597 00:32:58,643 --> 00:32:59,895 Back off! Back off! 598 00:33:09,529 --> 00:33:11,406 -[Joe] I'm goin' in. -He has an automatic. 599 00:33:11,490 --> 00:33:13,366 Joe! Are you crazy? 600 00:33:19,206 --> 00:33:20,540 [officer 1] On the other side. [officer 2] Got it! 601 00:33:20,624 --> 00:33:21,625 [officer 3] Ready to move in? 602 00:33:34,221 --> 00:33:35,972 Mom, what are you doing here? 603 00:33:36,306 --> 00:33:38,225 Mommy's gotta change you. 604 00:33:39,768 --> 00:33:41,394 -Ah! -[people laughing] 605 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:43,688 Mommy, I don't wanna be changed. 606 00:33:44,105 --> 00:33:45,732 I've gotta change you. 607 00:33:46,525 --> 00:33:48,902 -I can change you, change you, change you. -[Tutti] Change you. 608 00:33:48,985 --> 00:33:50,487 Will you stop trying to change me! 609 00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:55,158 [panting] 610 00:33:55,242 --> 00:33:56,535 [Pixie barking] 611 00:34:06,378 --> 00:34:08,463 -Joey, are you all right? -I'm fine. 612 00:34:08,547 --> 00:34:10,924 Oh, it sounded like you were having one of your bad dreams. 613 00:34:11,007 --> 00:34:13,009 No, I'm fine, Mom, really. 614 00:34:13,593 --> 00:34:14,886 Yeah. Maybe I should tuck you in. 615 00:34:14,970 --> 00:34:17,514 No, Mom, don't. Mom, don't! 616 00:34:17,597 --> 00:34:20,600 -Let me tuck you in. -Mom, I don't wanna be tucked in. 617 00:34:21,518 --> 00:34:23,395 Joey, let me tuck you in. 618 00:34:23,478 --> 00:34:26,189 Now, you just snuggle down. 619 00:34:26,856 --> 00:34:28,525 I don't wanna snuggle. 620 00:34:28,608 --> 00:34:30,986 You were just havin' a bad dream, Joe. 621 00:34:33,822 --> 00:34:36,324 Joey, do you remember when you were a little boy 622 00:34:36,408 --> 00:34:37,826 and I used to sing to you? 623 00:34:38,326 --> 00:34:40,787 -Oh, God. -Oh, shush! 624 00:34:41,288 --> 00:34:42,581 Let me see now. 625 00:34:42,664 --> 00:34:45,375 -See if I can remember how that goes. -Ma, don't. 626 00:34:46,293 --> 00:34:47,627 -Ah. -Please don't. 627 00:34:49,254 --> 00:34:52,215 [singing] Lullaby and good night 628 00:34:52,299 --> 00:34:55,552 Thy mother's delight 629 00:34:55,635 --> 00:34:56,720 Oh, Jesus. 630 00:34:56,803 --> 00:34:58,597 With down overspread 631 00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:01,266 Is baby's wee bed 632 00:35:01,474 --> 00:35:04,603 Lullaby and good night 633 00:35:04,978 --> 00:35:07,814 Lay thee down now and rest 634 00:35:08,648 --> 00:35:11,818 Lullaby and good night 635 00:35:11,901 --> 00:35:15,572 May thy slumber be blessed 636 00:35:16,990 --> 00:35:18,158 [sighs] 637 00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:26,166 [softly] Good night, Joey. 638 00:35:27,167 --> 00:35:28,460 [Joey humming] 639 00:35:32,672 --> 00:35:33,840 [sighs] 640 00:35:34,174 --> 00:35:35,383 Morning, Mom. 641 00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:37,844 We better get going. We're gonna be late. 642 00:35:37,927 --> 00:35:41,056 I didn't wanna wake you. You were sleeping so peacefully. 643 00:35:42,015 --> 00:35:44,017 Yeah, right. 644 00:35:44,559 --> 00:35:45,935 Well, we better get you down to the station 645 00:35:46,019 --> 00:35:48,188 for your 9:30 appointment with Ross. 646 00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:50,649 I'm not telling him anything. 647 00:35:50,732 --> 00:35:52,859 Look, Ma, I'm not gonna argue with you about it anymore. 648 00:35:52,942 --> 00:35:54,903 If he decides to arrest you for withholding evidence, 649 00:35:54,986 --> 00:35:56,529 that's his business and your problem. 650 00:35:57,739 --> 00:35:59,824 I suppose you don't want your present, either. 651 00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:01,993 Present? 652 00:36:02,077 --> 00:36:04,204 A little something I picked up for you. 653 00:36:04,287 --> 00:36:05,580 You got me a present? 654 00:36:05,664 --> 00:36:07,290 I shouldn't give it to you. You don't deserve it. 655 00:36:07,374 --> 00:36:08,708 Oh, c'mon, Ma, please? 656 00:36:09,918 --> 00:36:11,044 Okay. 657 00:36:13,046 --> 00:36:14,089 I love presents. 658 00:36:15,715 --> 00:36:17,050 It's heavy. 659 00:36:17,550 --> 00:36:18,718 [paper ripping] 660 00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:30,188 Jesus! 661 00:36:30,605 --> 00:36:32,440 -Did I get the wrong kind? -Wrong kind? 662 00:36:32,524 --> 00:36:34,901 Mom, this is an illegal weapon. Where'd you get it? 663 00:36:34,984 --> 00:36:36,152 From those guys who got shot. 664 00:36:36,236 --> 00:36:37,946 They had all of these guns in the back of their van. 665 00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:39,823 You bought a machine gun off the back of a van? 666 00:36:40,115 --> 00:36:42,951 I tried in the store, but they said I had to cool off. 667 00:36:43,034 --> 00:36:45,453 Mom, you could go to jail for this. Why didn't you tell me? 668 00:36:46,621 --> 00:36:48,748 Because I wanted it to be a surprise. 669 00:36:49,499 --> 00:36:50,667 It is! 670 00:36:52,877 --> 00:36:55,380 But you are saying it was a big car? 671 00:36:56,339 --> 00:36:59,050 I don't know if I'd call it "big" exactly. 672 00:36:59,634 --> 00:37:01,177 So it was a small car? 673 00:37:02,178 --> 00:37:03,263 It's difficult to say. 674 00:37:03,346 --> 00:37:06,599 I mean, to me, it was big. To you, it might have been small. 675 00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:10,186 Compared to a Cadillac? 676 00:37:10,603 --> 00:37:12,731 -Which model? -Any model! 677 00:37:14,274 --> 00:37:16,735 Do you remember a few years ago there was a small Cadillac? 678 00:37:16,818 --> 00:37:19,195 Yes, the Cimarron. Was it like the Cimarron? 679 00:37:20,613 --> 00:37:23,908 No, it definitely wasn't like the Cimarron. 680 00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:29,080 [sighs] Listen, why don't we take a break, all right? 681 00:37:29,622 --> 00:37:30,707 You're tired. 682 00:37:30,790 --> 00:37:33,626 I can see you're tired. Are you eating right? 683 00:37:33,877 --> 00:37:35,795 Maybe I should bring you some of my lentil soup. 684 00:37:35,879 --> 00:37:36,963 You old bat! 685 00:37:42,135 --> 00:37:43,970 So far so good, Pixie. 686 00:37:44,763 --> 00:37:47,515 -Oh, Gwen, do you have a minute? -Sure. 687 00:37:50,351 --> 00:37:53,146 -Jesus, that's a full automatic! -I know. 688 00:37:53,772 --> 00:37:55,356 -And your mother-- -Shh. 689 00:37:55,899 --> 00:37:58,234 -Okay, okay, Joe, I'll trace the gun. -Thanks. 690 00:37:58,318 --> 00:37:59,569 [chuckles] Wow. 691 00:37:59,652 --> 00:38:02,113 When your mama goes shoppin', ain't no tellin' what she come home with. 692 00:38:02,197 --> 00:38:05,074 I know. Listen, I really appreciate... Oh, if you don't mind? 693 00:38:05,158 --> 00:38:06,910 Hey! Try not to kill anyone with it. 694 00:38:06,993 --> 00:38:09,496 -No, she's too little. I'd never hit her. -[chuckles] 695 00:38:10,038 --> 00:38:11,456 Who's the little boy by the pool? 696 00:38:11,539 --> 00:38:14,709 It's Joey, only nine years old and all those muscles. 697 00:38:15,543 --> 00:38:18,671 Look, you can already see he's gonna have very nice equipment. 698 00:38:18,755 --> 00:38:21,090 -[chuckles] -Oh, don't be embarrassed. 699 00:38:21,174 --> 00:38:23,092 I'm an old lady, but I'm still a woman. 700 00:38:24,177 --> 00:38:27,222 So tell me, do you love my Joey? 701 00:38:28,056 --> 00:38:30,475 I don't know, Tutti. I did love him. 702 00:38:31,351 --> 00:38:32,393 Maybe I still do. 703 00:38:32,685 --> 00:38:33,937 He loves you. 704 00:38:34,020 --> 00:38:35,396 He never shows it. 705 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:39,442 That's Joey, keeps everything inside, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. 706 00:38:39,526 --> 00:38:43,071 If he would just do something to let me know how he feels... 707 00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:46,991 Hell, a box of candy, a bunch of flowers from the guy at the end of the off-ramp. 708 00:38:47,075 --> 00:38:48,701 -He never sent you flowers? -Never. 709 00:38:49,202 --> 00:38:51,079 Oh, Joe, Joe, Joe! 710 00:38:51,287 --> 00:38:53,790 And me being a Lieutenant just makes everything worse. 711 00:38:54,541 --> 00:38:55,875 Did you see this one? 712 00:38:56,876 --> 00:38:58,670 A very serious-looking boy. 713 00:38:58,753 --> 00:39:00,755 -How old is he there? -Thirteen. 714 00:39:00,839 --> 00:39:03,716 This was taken just after his father died. 715 00:39:04,092 --> 00:39:08,137 I went completely to pieces. I was no good for anything for days. 716 00:39:08,221 --> 00:39:10,557 My Joey took care of everything. 717 00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:14,102 Thirteen years old, he arranged the funeral, called the family, 718 00:39:15,395 --> 00:39:16,938 picked out the casket, 719 00:39:17,730 --> 00:39:19,274 talked to the priest. 720 00:39:20,358 --> 00:39:22,068 But he never cried. 721 00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:29,158 I know Joe loved his father, but to this day, I don't know if he ever cried. 722 00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:30,577 [knocking on door] 723 00:39:32,620 --> 00:39:34,080 [both sobbing] 724 00:39:43,089 --> 00:39:45,675 Okay, Mom, let's have it. I know you were talking about something. 725 00:39:45,758 --> 00:39:47,302 -It was nothing. -What do you mean it was nothing? 726 00:39:47,385 --> 00:39:48,678 You both were crying. 727 00:39:48,761 --> 00:39:50,638 Just girl talk, Joey. You wouldn't understand. 728 00:39:50,722 --> 00:39:53,850 I understand you have a God-giving gift for starting trouble, and I swear, 729 00:39:53,933 --> 00:39:56,936 if you start interfering with me and Gwen, I'm gonna go absolutely berserk! 730 00:39:57,020 --> 00:39:58,271 Well, somebody has to. 731 00:39:58,354 --> 00:40:01,065 She's a lovely girl, and you never sent her flowers. 732 00:40:05,278 --> 00:40:07,238 It's okay, sweetie. I'll get the door. 733 00:40:07,322 --> 00:40:11,159 You know what this is, Mom? This is the point of no return. 734 00:40:11,367 --> 00:40:14,078 I've had it! I've finally and completely have had it. 735 00:40:14,162 --> 00:40:17,624 I'm taking you back to the apartment, I'm handcuffing you to a sink, 736 00:40:17,707 --> 00:40:21,294 and I'm putting you on the first plane heading back to Newark. 737 00:40:21,377 --> 00:40:23,838 Here you are. Let's go. 738 00:40:35,391 --> 00:40:37,977 -Why don't you ask me what I saw? -I don't wanna know. 739 00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:40,521 -Ask me. -No! 740 00:40:42,607 --> 00:40:44,275 Ask me what I saw. 741 00:40:44,609 --> 00:40:45,902 You're a little old lady, Mom. 742 00:40:45,985 --> 00:40:47,612 You live in a little apartment in Newark. 743 00:40:47,695 --> 00:40:50,406 You knit, you make jam, you talk on the phone, that's it. 744 00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:55,203 All right, what did you see? 745 00:40:55,703 --> 00:40:59,916 I saw the man who sold me the gun, the one that got away and I saw his van. 746 00:40:59,999 --> 00:41:02,877 [laughing] Oh, really? Mom, was he a little man or a big man? 747 00:41:02,961 --> 00:41:06,631 Big man, 6'3", 320 pounds. 748 00:41:06,714 --> 00:41:11,177 He had a tattoo of a coiled snake with "God rides a Harley" written above it. 749 00:41:11,386 --> 00:41:12,762 Are you gonna remember this? 750 00:41:12,845 --> 00:41:17,266 It was a Chevy cargo van, gunmetal gray, an '82, you know, 751 00:41:17,350 --> 00:41:19,185 the year with the longer wheelbase. 752 00:41:19,686 --> 00:41:23,189 The license plate was JL2-661. 753 00:41:30,363 --> 00:41:32,657 This is 90-W-2. Give me 90-W-90. 754 00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:34,492 [dispatcher] Go ahead, 90-W-2. 755 00:41:35,034 --> 00:41:38,246 Yeah, could you find Tony and tell him I need another favor, fast. 756 00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:39,706 Ten-four. 757 00:41:40,289 --> 00:41:42,458 [Paulie] Where the hell is your boyfriend and the guns? 758 00:41:42,542 --> 00:41:45,003 [girl] Man, I told you, I don't know what you're talking about. 759 00:41:45,086 --> 00:41:47,797 I hardly know the guy. We just hang out now and again. 760 00:41:48,381 --> 00:41:50,633 Hey, Paulie, there's nothin' down there. 761 00:41:51,259 --> 00:41:53,219 -Check in the garage. -I checked in the garage. 762 00:41:53,302 --> 00:41:55,138 -There's nothin' down there. -Well, check again. 763 00:41:55,221 --> 00:41:56,264 Boy, I gotta do this. 764 00:42:05,898 --> 00:42:07,150 Is this the house? 765 00:42:07,233 --> 00:42:09,068 Uh, that's where the van's registered. 766 00:42:09,152 --> 00:42:10,319 Want me to cover the back? 767 00:42:10,403 --> 00:42:13,197 Look, Ma, I said you could come along. I didn't say we were gonna be partners. 768 00:42:13,281 --> 00:42:14,574 Okay, okay. 769 00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:21,247 I tell you, we're just not connecting here, honey. 770 00:42:25,918 --> 00:42:27,587 -Munroe, keep her quiet. -Yeah. 771 00:42:30,256 --> 00:42:31,340 Wrong house, sweetie? 772 00:42:32,300 --> 00:42:33,718 [woman] Help me! 773 00:42:34,594 --> 00:42:36,387 -Help me! -C'mon, c'mon. 774 00:42:41,267 --> 00:42:42,685 -Oh, my God, no! -[barking] 775 00:42:45,271 --> 00:42:46,272 -You okay? -Yeah. 776 00:42:49,734 --> 00:42:51,652 [Tutti] Joey! Joey, are you all right? 777 00:42:53,071 --> 00:42:54,363 Joey, don't jump! Joey! 778 00:42:54,447 --> 00:42:55,740 [grunting] 779 00:43:11,464 --> 00:43:13,091 [tires squealing] 780 00:43:21,974 --> 00:43:23,309 [honking] 781 00:43:26,854 --> 00:43:28,231 Get in, sweetie. Get in. 782 00:43:28,314 --> 00:43:30,149 We're gonna nail those turkeys! 783 00:43:30,650 --> 00:43:31,901 C'mon, Mom! 784 00:43:33,152 --> 00:43:34,362 Okay, Mom, make a right. 785 00:43:34,445 --> 00:43:36,030 -Okay. Okay. -That's good. 786 00:43:36,823 --> 00:43:37,907 [honking] 787 00:44:00,221 --> 00:44:01,430 Whoa! Whoa! 788 00:44:02,974 --> 00:44:04,642 -Sorry. -It's okay. It was an accident. 789 00:44:05,309 --> 00:44:06,686 [all screaming] 790 00:44:07,728 --> 00:44:08,855 Mom! 791 00:44:09,730 --> 00:44:11,774 Jump! Mom, use the street. Use the street. 792 00:44:11,858 --> 00:44:13,359 -[people screaming] -[Joe] Use the road. 793 00:44:15,862 --> 00:44:16,946 [man] Move! [Tutti] Watch it! 794 00:44:19,740 --> 00:44:20,992 Way to go, Ma! 795 00:44:21,075 --> 00:44:22,118 [Tutti chuckles] 796 00:44:26,747 --> 00:44:28,082 [Joe] Floor it, Mom! 797 00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:30,042 -They're gonna go left! -Okay. 798 00:44:30,126 --> 00:44:31,794 -Mom, slow down a little. -Okay, okay. 799 00:44:31,878 --> 00:44:32,962 [Joe] Take your foot off the accelerator. 800 00:44:33,045 --> 00:44:34,297 Slow down! 801 00:44:34,755 --> 00:44:36,215 -Be careful! -All right. 802 00:44:41,179 --> 00:44:42,555 There's nothin' in there. 803 00:44:42,638 --> 00:44:43,973 I already looked. 804 00:44:46,934 --> 00:44:48,269 What's in the file? 805 00:44:48,686 --> 00:44:50,396 It's the trace on the gun, isn't it? 806 00:44:51,230 --> 00:44:52,231 Well, what does it say, Joe? 807 00:44:52,315 --> 00:44:54,775 I don't know what it says 'cause I haven't read it and I'm not going to. 808 00:44:54,859 --> 00:44:55,818 I'm gonna give it to Ross, 809 00:44:55,902 --> 00:44:57,945 then I'm gonna forget the whole damn thing. Ross! 810 00:44:58,029 --> 00:45:00,072 -I don't believe you're gonna do this. -Believe it. 811 00:45:00,156 --> 00:45:04,118 Hey, look who it is. Norman Bates and his mom. 812 00:45:04,201 --> 00:45:06,203 -Cut it out, Ross. -You really gonna tell this guy? 813 00:45:06,913 --> 00:45:08,831 Ross, my mother lied about what she saw. 814 00:45:08,915 --> 00:45:12,835 She got the license plate off the victim's van and I traced the address. 815 00:45:13,836 --> 00:45:15,546 I don't believe this shit! 816 00:45:15,630 --> 00:45:18,174 -Watch your mouth, Ross. -Watch my mouth? 817 00:45:18,257 --> 00:45:19,967 That's rich coming from the most pathetic 818 00:45:20,051 --> 00:45:22,762 excuse for a cop this precinct's ever seen. 819 00:45:23,930 --> 00:45:26,641 Now, is there anything else you or your mother haven't told me 820 00:45:26,724 --> 00:45:29,060 -that I should know? -Yes, Detective. There is. 821 00:45:29,602 --> 00:45:31,854 Both my son and I think you're an asshole. 822 00:45:36,984 --> 00:45:38,486 Take a walk with me. 823 00:45:46,369 --> 00:45:49,038 You think I'm gonna stand there and take that from her? 824 00:45:49,121 --> 00:45:52,333 Oh, Ross, calm down. She's a little ol' lady, for Christ's sake. 825 00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:55,044 She's a monster, is what she is. And I'll tell you something else. 826 00:45:55,127 --> 00:45:56,837 Her cookies suck! 827 00:45:56,921 --> 00:45:58,339 Watch what you say about my mother. 828 00:45:58,422 --> 00:45:59,882 I'm not watching anything, I'm telling you. 829 00:45:59,966 --> 00:46:03,344 You so much as look at this case again, and you're going before Internal Affairs, 830 00:46:03,427 --> 00:46:06,055 and I'm gonna throw your mom in a county can 831 00:46:06,138 --> 00:46:07,807 quicker than you can say "golden-ager." 832 00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:10,726 -Are you threatening my mother? -I am threatening you. 833 00:46:10,810 --> 00:46:12,395 I am threatening your mother, 834 00:46:12,478 --> 00:46:15,189 I am threatening your whole goddamn family! 835 00:46:15,564 --> 00:46:17,191 -Ross? -What? 836 00:46:17,274 --> 00:46:19,110 -You just made a big mistake. -Oh, sure. 837 00:46:19,443 --> 00:46:20,987 Whoa! No, what are you doin'? 838 00:46:21,779 --> 00:46:23,572 Oh, Jesus Christ! [mumbling] 839 00:46:24,490 --> 00:46:25,992 [flushing] 840 00:46:32,665 --> 00:46:34,041 -Ah. -Hi. 841 00:46:34,125 --> 00:46:35,251 Hi. 842 00:46:36,127 --> 00:46:37,420 You forgot to dry your hands. 843 00:46:37,503 --> 00:46:39,797 Well, I think Ross kind of needs it more than I do. 844 00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:41,424 He needs towels. [chuckles] 845 00:46:41,507 --> 00:46:42,591 Ross needs towels? 846 00:46:42,675 --> 00:46:44,385 Yeah, well. It's a... Forget about it. It's a long story. 847 00:46:44,468 --> 00:46:45,678 Excuse me. 848 00:46:46,971 --> 00:46:48,180 [sighs] 849 00:46:48,889 --> 00:46:51,100 [stuttering] Oh, I have your toothbrush. 850 00:46:51,767 --> 00:46:53,644 -My toothbrush? -Yeah, ah... 851 00:46:54,812 --> 00:46:56,605 Your lucky toothbrush with the frog's head on it. 852 00:46:56,689 --> 00:46:58,357 I forgot to pack it with the other stuff. 853 00:46:59,525 --> 00:47:00,818 -Thanks. -[door opening] 854 00:47:02,194 --> 00:47:05,031 Oh, Lieutenant, good. 855 00:47:05,698 --> 00:47:10,578 I want to file a formal complaint against him and his psychotic mom 856 00:47:10,661 --> 00:47:13,581 for assault and withholding information in a murder inquiry. 857 00:47:13,664 --> 00:47:14,874 -What are you talking about, Ross? -Nothing. 858 00:47:14,957 --> 00:47:17,376 I was trying to flush out some of his finer qualities. 859 00:47:17,460 --> 00:47:19,295 That's not funny, Bomowski! 860 00:47:19,378 --> 00:47:21,005 -I'm gonna see you suspended. -Ross! 861 00:47:21,088 --> 00:47:22,089 -Really? -Oh, yeah. 862 00:47:22,173 --> 00:47:23,549 -Ross. -What? 863 00:47:24,050 --> 00:47:25,468 Why don't you get back to your desk? 864 00:47:25,551 --> 00:47:28,387 -Oh, c'mon, Lieutenant! -Now, please! 865 00:47:38,522 --> 00:47:39,899 It's a man thing. 866 00:47:41,525 --> 00:47:43,402 -I better get back to my desk, too. -Yep. 867 00:47:44,737 --> 00:47:45,863 Oh, Gwen? 868 00:47:46,906 --> 00:47:48,199 Thanks for the brush. 869 00:47:52,828 --> 00:47:56,165 Ma, the gun you bought was part of a $12 million shipment of automatic weapons 870 00:47:56,248 --> 00:47:58,793 that wound up at the warehouse downtown. 871 00:47:59,335 --> 00:48:02,421 "The warehouse burned down. The night watchman was killed in a fire. 872 00:48:04,173 --> 00:48:05,674 Big explosion of ammunition. 873 00:48:07,468 --> 00:48:08,844 All the guns are destroyed. 874 00:48:08,928 --> 00:48:10,763 Cause of fire never established. 875 00:48:11,430 --> 00:48:12,598 Company goes broke. 876 00:48:12,681 --> 00:48:16,268 Insurance pays 12 million to the savings and loan holding the notes." 877 00:48:18,187 --> 00:48:19,522 Mom, are you listening? 878 00:48:19,980 --> 00:48:22,149 Like Krieger's Luncheonette in our neighborhood. 879 00:48:22,233 --> 00:48:24,860 Mr. Krieger burned it down for the insurance. 880 00:48:24,944 --> 00:48:26,904 They found all the silverware in his basement at home. 881 00:48:26,987 --> 00:48:28,447 Yeah, that's the same thing here. 882 00:48:28,531 --> 00:48:30,449 The gun you bought didn't get burned up in any fire. 883 00:48:30,533 --> 00:48:32,785 -[Pixie whines] -Oh, Mama knows, Pixie 884 00:48:32,868 --> 00:48:36,831 and I promise when we get home, I'm gonna make you a fresh hamburger. 885 00:48:36,914 --> 00:48:38,207 [chuckles] 886 00:48:38,290 --> 00:48:41,544 Well, she doesn't like fast food. She likes the food her mother cooks for her. 887 00:48:41,627 --> 00:48:43,379 -It's not that. -What? 888 00:48:43,754 --> 00:48:47,758 Ross' face when you said, "We think you're an asshole." 889 00:48:47,842 --> 00:48:49,426 I gave it to him good, didn't I? 890 00:48:50,219 --> 00:48:51,554 You blew him away! 891 00:48:51,637 --> 00:48:54,140 His ass was grass and I was the lawn mower. 892 00:48:57,935 --> 00:49:00,354 You're really something, you know that, Ma? Really. 893 00:49:06,944 --> 00:49:08,946 Okay, Ma, I'm gonna go up and talk to these guys. 894 00:49:09,029 --> 00:49:10,239 I'll be right back. 895 00:49:14,326 --> 00:49:16,412 Want me to come too? We can do good cop, bad cop. 896 00:49:16,495 --> 00:49:18,247 No, Ma, I can handle it. Thanks. 897 00:49:18,330 --> 00:49:19,498 Oh. 898 00:49:21,917 --> 00:49:23,627 I'll tell you what. You really want to go? 899 00:49:23,711 --> 00:49:25,337 -You know I do. -Okay. 900 00:49:25,921 --> 00:49:27,256 I'll tell you what, you go downstairs. 901 00:49:27,339 --> 00:49:28,924 Sniff around and see if you can find out something. 902 00:49:29,008 --> 00:49:31,635 And I'll be upstairs with the big boys. 903 00:49:33,304 --> 00:49:34,471 It's that cop. 904 00:49:35,514 --> 00:49:38,267 Well, get in the side office till he's gone. Move it! 905 00:49:41,020 --> 00:49:43,355 Yeah, please, um... Please show the officer in. 906 00:49:45,566 --> 00:49:48,277 -This is Detective Joseph Bomoski. -Bomowski. 907 00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:51,071 Good afternoon, Detective. What can I do for you? 908 00:49:53,157 --> 00:49:56,493 I'm investigating a big warehouse fire where a lot of weapons were destroyed 909 00:49:56,577 --> 00:49:59,330 and I believe you collected the insurance. 910 00:49:59,413 --> 00:50:01,665 That's right, Detective. I do hope there isn't any problem. 911 00:50:01,749 --> 00:50:04,960 No. No. But what would you say if I told you that we have evidence 912 00:50:05,044 --> 00:50:06,754 that the weapons weren't destroyed in the fire? 913 00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:12,134 Well, that we have been the victim of a colossal fraud. 914 00:50:13,052 --> 00:50:14,720 From where I stand you don't look like a victim. 915 00:50:14,803 --> 00:50:16,472 You look more like a beneficiary. 916 00:50:21,393 --> 00:50:23,062 -[intercom buzzing] -Excuse me. 917 00:50:24,563 --> 00:50:25,689 Yeah? 918 00:50:28,234 --> 00:50:30,611 There's a woman out there claiming to be your mother. 919 00:50:30,694 --> 00:50:31,820 -[door opens] -No! 920 00:50:31,904 --> 00:50:33,572 I'm sorry, Mr. Parnell. We couldn't stop her. 921 00:50:33,656 --> 00:50:34,490 That's all right. 922 00:50:34,573 --> 00:50:35,950 They tried to give me the runaround. 923 00:50:36,033 --> 00:50:37,409 Mom, I told you, let me handle this. 924 00:50:37,493 --> 00:50:39,328 I say we take them downtown and work them over. 925 00:50:39,411 --> 00:50:42,373 Just wait outside. I've almost got this thing under control. 926 00:50:42,456 --> 00:50:44,959 Joe, they're being audited. I know an audit when I see one. 927 00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:47,419 You're too young to remember the year the IRS audited your father, 928 00:50:47,503 --> 00:50:48,796 God rest his soul. 929 00:50:48,879 --> 00:50:52,007 -Mom, later! -Joe, it's the motive. 930 00:50:52,091 --> 00:50:54,051 -[man sneezes] -Gesundheit. 931 00:50:57,304 --> 00:50:59,682 There are a lot of accusations flying around here, Detective. 932 00:51:00,391 --> 00:51:01,934 But I still can't figure what it is you want. 933 00:51:02,017 --> 00:51:05,562 What I want is to go down to the warehouse and take a look around for myself. 934 00:51:05,646 --> 00:51:07,773 -You got a problem with that? -Do you have a warrant? 935 00:51:09,775 --> 00:51:11,860 -Does your mother have a warrant? -[Tutti] No. 936 00:51:11,944 --> 00:51:13,988 But I'll tell you what I do have young man, 937 00:51:14,071 --> 00:51:15,739 I have a good mind to take down your pants 938 00:51:15,823 --> 00:51:17,783 and give you a spanking you'll never forget. 939 00:51:21,662 --> 00:51:24,915 Do I go down to the warehouse or do I go get a warrant? 940 00:51:30,546 --> 00:51:33,215 Yes, would you please give the detective the address of the warehouse, 941 00:51:33,299 --> 00:51:34,883 the one where we had that terrible fire, 942 00:51:34,967 --> 00:51:38,971 along with the keys and whatever else it takes to get him in there. 943 00:51:41,724 --> 00:51:44,268 Thank you very much for your time. Mom, let's go. 944 00:51:45,144 --> 00:51:47,604 For now you can keep your pants on, Mr. Parnell. 945 00:51:48,147 --> 00:51:51,400 But just remember one thing, I'll be back. 946 00:51:51,483 --> 00:51:53,235 Oh, please. 947 00:51:53,319 --> 00:51:55,112 -What? Did I embarrass you? -Yeah, you embarrassed me. 948 00:51:55,195 --> 00:51:56,572 "I'll be back"? Please! 949 00:51:56,655 --> 00:51:58,657 [Tutti] I heard a cop say that. 950 00:51:58,741 --> 00:52:00,034 Cops don't say that, Terminators say that. 951 00:52:01,327 --> 00:52:05,205 Get out here, you congenital imbeciles! 952 00:52:05,664 --> 00:52:08,292 Not only do you let 10 cases of guns get stolen in the first place, 953 00:52:08,375 --> 00:52:09,960 not only did you screw up gettin' them back, 954 00:52:10,044 --> 00:52:12,212 now I've got some cop's weird mother 955 00:52:12,296 --> 00:52:14,965 threatening to pull down my pants and spank me! 956 00:52:15,132 --> 00:52:17,176 We'll take care of both of them. They won't bother you no more. 957 00:52:17,259 --> 00:52:18,677 Yeah, well, they better not. 958 00:52:20,429 --> 00:52:21,805 I'll get the plane in tomorrow. 959 00:52:21,889 --> 00:52:24,433 All you have to do is make sure that everyone and everybody 960 00:52:24,516 --> 00:52:26,560 keeps quiet for 24 hours. 961 00:52:27,186 --> 00:52:29,855 And make it look like an accident, hmm? 962 00:52:43,827 --> 00:52:45,913 I don't like the look of this one bit. 963 00:52:45,996 --> 00:52:47,581 It's dangerous. I don't want you going in there. 964 00:52:47,664 --> 00:52:49,958 No, Mom, it's not dangerous. 965 00:52:50,042 --> 00:52:52,169 If it's not dangerous, there's no reason I can't go. 966 00:52:52,252 --> 00:52:53,295 Oh, no, you're not going. 967 00:52:53,379 --> 00:52:55,756 But Joe, we're working so well together. 968 00:52:55,839 --> 00:52:59,301 Right. And working well together means... Excuse me, Mom. 969 00:52:59,385 --> 00:53:00,719 Looking out for each other. Hmm. 970 00:53:01,178 --> 00:53:02,221 What are you doing? 971 00:53:03,514 --> 00:53:05,432 Joseph Andrew Bomowski, answer me this second! 972 00:53:05,516 --> 00:53:07,643 -What do you think you're doing? -What's it look like I'm doing? 973 00:53:08,143 --> 00:53:09,686 It looks like you're locking me in the car! 974 00:53:09,770 --> 00:53:12,856 Now, obviously I got my detective skills from you. See you later. 975 00:53:14,441 --> 00:53:15,526 Joe? 976 00:53:53,147 --> 00:53:54,606 Well, that's not gonna work. 977 00:53:56,608 --> 00:53:57,776 Oh! 978 00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,282 Let's put that in here. 979 00:54:04,283 --> 00:54:06,869 Oh! How does this thing go? 980 00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,793 Hello, hello, hello? 981 00:54:16,044 --> 00:54:18,797 [dispatcher] This is a police radio band. Please identify yourself. 982 00:54:19,715 --> 00:54:22,217 Uh, this is Tutti Bomowski, Joe's mom. 983 00:54:22,301 --> 00:54:25,721 Oh, hi, Mrs. Bomowski. This is John. 984 00:54:25,804 --> 00:54:28,432 Hey, thanks a lot for the cookies. What's up? 985 00:54:28,515 --> 00:54:30,684 Um, well... 986 00:54:30,767 --> 00:54:34,271 [chuckles] I'm so embarrassed I don't even know how to say this. 987 00:54:34,897 --> 00:54:39,568 I don't know, somehow I managed to lock myself in Joe's car. Isn't that silly? 988 00:54:40,235 --> 00:54:42,529 Yeah! No problem, Mrs. Bomowski. 989 00:54:42,613 --> 00:54:44,740 What you're gonna look for is a slim-jim. 990 00:54:44,823 --> 00:54:46,950 It's this long, thin piece of metal. 991 00:54:58,086 --> 00:54:59,463 [distant clanging] 992 00:55:14,603 --> 00:55:15,771 Go ahead, shoot. 993 00:55:15,854 --> 00:55:17,231 Jesus! 994 00:55:17,314 --> 00:55:20,651 Pull the trigger. I don't want to live in a world where my son locks me in a car. 995 00:55:20,734 --> 00:55:22,027 [thudding] 996 00:55:23,028 --> 00:55:24,029 [shushing] 997 00:55:25,531 --> 00:55:28,283 -Do you have enough bullets in that gun? -Yes, Ma. Quiet. 998 00:55:28,367 --> 00:55:30,661 Because if you don't, I do. 999 00:55:31,078 --> 00:55:32,246 Where'd you get that? 1000 00:55:32,329 --> 00:55:35,332 From your glove compartment, which I might add needs straightening up. 1001 00:55:35,415 --> 00:55:37,459 -Mom, give it to me. -No. 1002 00:55:38,043 --> 00:55:40,963 -Mom, give it to me. -No. 1003 00:55:41,964 --> 00:55:43,173 Mom, down! 1004 00:55:48,262 --> 00:55:49,596 -Come on. Jump. -What? 1005 00:55:59,648 --> 00:56:00,732 [Tutti coughs] 1006 00:56:03,944 --> 00:56:05,737 -Is my Pixie okay? -She's okay, Mom. 1007 00:56:07,322 --> 00:56:08,532 Oh, no! 1008 00:56:10,242 --> 00:56:11,577 [Tutti] Oh! Oh! 1009 00:56:14,621 --> 00:56:15,747 Shit! 1010 00:56:19,960 --> 00:56:21,461 Oh, my God, what are you gonna do? 1011 00:56:23,755 --> 00:56:26,508 Joe? Joe? Joey! 1012 00:56:27,259 --> 00:56:28,885 -Oh! -Take the dog. 1013 00:56:29,303 --> 00:56:30,345 -Now get over there. -Where? 1014 00:56:30,429 --> 00:56:31,805 -Against the wall. -Okay. 1015 00:56:34,057 --> 00:56:35,642 -[gunshots] -Back! Back! 1016 00:56:38,562 --> 00:56:40,105 -Mom! -[gasps] 1017 00:56:48,989 --> 00:56:50,532 Stop! Police! 1018 00:56:58,624 --> 00:57:00,959 -Mom, get down! -But they're getting away. 1019 00:57:02,127 --> 00:57:03,170 Stop! 1020 00:57:04,838 --> 00:57:06,298 Or my mom will shoot! 1021 00:57:13,305 --> 00:57:16,099 A little high and too much to the right, but not bad for a beginner. 1022 00:57:20,312 --> 00:57:22,397 Jesus, Paulie, not so fast! 1023 00:57:28,820 --> 00:57:29,655 Turn around! 1024 00:57:29,738 --> 00:57:31,698 I'm not goin' nowhere! I'm not goin' nowhere! 1025 00:57:31,990 --> 00:57:33,450 Take it easy, will ya? 1026 00:57:33,533 --> 00:57:35,577 Hey, great collar, Joe. 1027 00:57:35,661 --> 00:57:39,539 Think you can mess with my boy, huh? Mucho big mistake! 1028 00:57:39,623 --> 00:57:42,000 -[sneezes] -Gesundheit. 1029 00:57:47,589 --> 00:57:48,799 [sneezes] 1030 00:57:49,633 --> 00:57:50,884 Hope you get it. 1031 00:57:52,010 --> 00:57:53,512 Yeah, put it in that chair. 1032 00:57:53,595 --> 00:57:54,596 All right, file... 1033 00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:56,431 I'm not saying a thing till I see a lawyer. 1034 00:57:56,515 --> 00:57:58,350 -[Joe] Hey. -[sneezes] ...and a doctor. 1035 00:57:58,433 --> 00:57:59,851 [Joe] You're spreading germs. 1036 00:57:59,935 --> 00:58:03,188 Lou, if you see Ross, tell him me and my mother cracked his case wide open. 1037 00:58:04,982 --> 00:58:07,234 Listen, before you say anything-- 1038 00:58:09,569 --> 00:58:10,862 [all] Oh! 1039 00:58:15,534 --> 00:58:16,910 [man] All right. 1040 00:58:18,537 --> 00:58:19,913 What was that? 1041 00:58:19,997 --> 00:58:21,915 Oh, I'm just so happy Joe, 1042 00:58:21,999 --> 00:58:24,126 that you finally unlocked all those hidden feelings. 1043 00:58:24,209 --> 00:58:25,252 [chuckles] Hidden feeling? 1044 00:58:25,335 --> 00:58:26,545 What are you talking about? 1045 00:58:26,628 --> 00:58:29,089 Flowers, Joe! I've never seen so many roses. 1046 00:58:32,884 --> 00:58:35,429 -I don't believe it. Damn it! -What? 1047 00:58:35,846 --> 00:58:38,223 She's always got to interfere. She's driving me crazy, Gwen! 1048 00:58:38,807 --> 00:58:39,891 What are you talking about? 1049 00:58:41,935 --> 00:58:43,437 It was my mom. 1050 00:58:45,564 --> 00:58:49,484 You mean, you didn't send the roses? 1051 00:58:49,568 --> 00:58:50,986 Of course I didn't. 1052 00:58:53,989 --> 00:58:55,240 Oh, listen, honey, I didn't mean it-- 1053 00:58:55,824 --> 00:58:57,034 [all] Whoa! 1054 00:59:01,913 --> 00:59:05,292 Mom, you got 30 seconds to get your senior-citizen butt in here! 1055 00:59:06,126 --> 00:59:07,377 What did you say? 1056 00:59:07,461 --> 00:59:09,337 Don't say a word. Not a single word. 1057 00:59:09,421 --> 00:59:10,422 Did something happen with Gwen? 1058 00:59:10,505 --> 00:59:12,591 Look, I'm not here to talk about Gwen, I'm here to talk to you. 1059 00:59:12,674 --> 00:59:13,842 Well, there's no need to shout. 1060 00:59:13,925 --> 00:59:16,678 Yes, there is. This is my house and I'll shout if I want to. 1061 00:59:16,762 --> 00:59:18,930 I know this is hard for you because you can't help yourself 1062 00:59:19,014 --> 00:59:21,349 but if you want to stay here, I've drawn up a list of rules. 1063 00:59:21,433 --> 00:59:23,977 I don't like the tone of your voice, young man. 1064 00:59:24,061 --> 00:59:27,731 Rule number one, never say, "You don't like the tone of my voice, young man." 1065 00:59:27,814 --> 00:59:28,982 Number two... 1066 00:59:29,941 --> 00:59:31,526 You've written down a list of rules for your mother? 1067 00:59:31,610 --> 00:59:33,445 Exactly, and "don't interrupt" is on here. 1068 00:59:34,404 --> 00:59:38,658 Number two, you cannot interfere with my love life ever, at all! 1069 00:59:38,742 --> 00:59:40,077 What, she didn't like the flowers? 1070 00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:41,578 Oh, yeah. They were a big hit. 1071 00:59:42,245 --> 00:59:43,914 Three, don't clean my house. 1072 00:59:43,997 --> 00:59:45,624 Four, don't iron my underwear. 1073 00:59:45,707 --> 00:59:48,877 Five, all the little embarrassing things that happened to me when I was a kid, 1074 00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:50,045 you can never tell a living soul. 1075 00:59:50,128 --> 00:59:51,671 -Now, just a minute, Joe. -No, no, no. 1076 00:59:51,755 --> 00:59:53,632 This is non-negotiable, not a living soul! 1077 00:59:54,132 --> 00:59:58,762 Six, you don't clean guns, you don't buy guns, you don't shoot guns. 1078 00:59:58,845 --> 01:00:02,933 Seven, here's a public safety message, no driving! 1079 01:00:04,309 --> 01:00:07,020 Eight, never say "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day." 1080 01:00:07,104 --> 01:00:09,564 And nine, the photo albums... 1081 01:00:09,648 --> 01:00:11,608 -[taps] -...they stay in Jersey. 1082 01:00:12,734 --> 01:00:13,819 Anything else? 1083 01:00:14,194 --> 01:00:16,571 Just 10, sometimes, just sometimes, 1084 01:00:16,655 --> 01:00:18,740 forget I'm your son and treat me like a human being. 1085 01:00:19,449 --> 01:00:21,076 Well, you can't treat me like this, Joey! 1086 01:00:21,159 --> 01:00:22,327 Oh, yes, I can. 1087 01:00:22,410 --> 01:00:24,538 Here's the list, Mom. Now, you think about it. 1088 01:00:28,667 --> 01:00:29,918 -Joe? -[door opens] 1089 01:00:30,001 --> 01:00:31,002 Joe! 1090 01:00:33,964 --> 01:00:37,134 Hey, you think making me follow a bunch of dumb rules 1091 01:00:37,217 --> 01:00:38,552 is gonna make your life any better? 1092 01:00:38,635 --> 01:00:39,678 I'm not listening, Mom. 1093 01:00:39,761 --> 01:00:42,597 You'll listen to me Joseph Andrew Bomowski, if it's the last thing you do 1094 01:00:42,681 --> 01:00:45,016 because I'm gonna tell you what your problem is. 1095 01:00:45,100 --> 01:00:47,686 Rule number 11, never start out any lecture with, 1096 01:00:47,769 --> 01:00:50,939 "I know what your problem is," because I do know what my problem is Ma. 1097 01:00:51,022 --> 01:00:53,608 You want a hint? She's a little old lady, she's got a dog. 1098 01:00:53,692 --> 01:00:55,360 You problem is, you don't love enough Joe. 1099 01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:57,779 The minute somebody tries to get close to you, you shut them out. 1100 01:00:57,863 --> 01:00:59,614 And you're shutting me out just like you shut out Gwen. 1101 01:00:59,698 --> 01:01:01,366 You see this? Does everybody see this? 1102 01:01:01,449 --> 01:01:03,451 All of a sudden she turned into Dr. Ruth. 1103 01:01:03,535 --> 01:01:05,996 Gwen loves you and that scares you to death because she's special. 1104 01:01:06,079 --> 01:01:08,081 And when you meet someone who's special, 1105 01:01:08,165 --> 01:01:11,376 you should reach out and grab hold of them with both hands. 1106 01:01:11,459 --> 01:01:14,045 Grab hold? What are you talking about, Mom? 1107 01:01:14,129 --> 01:01:16,965 I'm talking about waking up one morning and finding you're 60 years old, 1108 01:01:17,048 --> 01:01:18,967 living in a little apartment all by yourself, 1109 01:01:19,050 --> 01:01:22,179 just wishing you had someone to love as special as Gwen. 1110 01:01:23,847 --> 01:01:25,056 [woman] She's right. 1111 01:01:26,099 --> 01:01:27,184 She's real mad. 1112 01:01:27,976 --> 01:01:29,060 You finished? 1113 01:01:33,106 --> 01:01:35,984 For your information, I didn't dump Gwen. She dumped me. 1114 01:02:25,075 --> 01:02:26,243 [sighs] 1115 01:02:28,620 --> 01:02:30,121 Gwen, I just... 1116 01:02:32,958 --> 01:02:36,086 Gwen, I just called to say you're special and... 1117 01:02:36,169 --> 01:02:37,921 Oh, Christ, this is ridiculous. 1118 01:02:39,673 --> 01:02:45,136 I just called to say that you're so special. 1119 01:02:47,389 --> 01:02:52,936 And when you meet someone special, you should grab hold of them. 1120 01:02:54,646 --> 01:02:56,398 You should grab hold of them. 1121 01:02:57,941 --> 01:02:59,901 Oh, come on. Do it right. 1122 01:03:01,319 --> 01:03:04,281 When you meet someone special, you should grab hold of them and hold-- 1123 01:03:04,364 --> 01:03:05,615 Joe? 1124 01:03:08,994 --> 01:03:10,370 What are you doing here so late? 1125 01:03:12,789 --> 01:03:15,125 Hmm, just catching up on some paperwork. 1126 01:03:17,502 --> 01:03:19,337 I had to pick some stuff up. 1127 01:03:22,924 --> 01:03:25,010 You want to catch up on some paperwork, too? 1128 01:03:26,511 --> 01:03:27,595 Sure. 1129 01:03:31,558 --> 01:03:32,767 To paperwork. 1130 01:03:38,773 --> 01:03:39,858 [clears throat] 1131 01:03:41,776 --> 01:03:42,986 Look... 1132 01:03:44,321 --> 01:03:45,697 I'm sorry that I hit you. 1133 01:03:45,780 --> 01:03:47,574 I was just disappointed about the flowers. 1134 01:03:47,657 --> 01:03:48,491 Oh! 1135 01:03:48,575 --> 01:03:50,910 -When you said what you said-- -Gwen, you don't have to apologize. 1136 01:03:50,994 --> 01:03:53,872 I deserved to get hit. I mean, I made a mess out of everything. 1137 01:03:54,539 --> 01:03:56,374 I should've sent you those flowers. 1138 01:03:56,458 --> 01:03:58,209 I wish I'd sent you those flowers. 1139 01:03:59,169 --> 01:04:00,170 Really? 1140 01:04:00,545 --> 01:04:01,629 Yeah. 1141 01:04:07,177 --> 01:04:10,013 I mean, you're so special. 1142 01:04:12,682 --> 01:04:14,476 When you meet someone as special as you, 1143 01:04:14,559 --> 01:04:17,354 you should reach out and grab her with both hands. 1144 01:04:21,232 --> 01:04:22,233 Because if you don't, 1145 01:04:22,359 --> 01:04:25,320 one morning you'll wake up and you're 60 years old 1146 01:04:25,403 --> 01:04:28,323 and you're living all alone in some little apartment, 1147 01:04:28,990 --> 01:04:31,242 and you wish you just had the chance 1148 01:04:31,951 --> 01:04:35,038 to love someone as special as you. 1149 01:04:39,084 --> 01:04:41,544 That's the sweetest thing anybody's ever said to me. 1150 01:04:56,476 --> 01:04:57,936 My mother said it, Gwen. 1151 01:05:00,146 --> 01:05:02,023 Your mother said it? 1152 01:05:02,107 --> 01:05:04,484 My mother was right. Jesus, it kills me! 1153 01:05:06,945 --> 01:05:08,279 Does this kill you? 1154 01:05:11,866 --> 01:05:12,951 Hmm. 1155 01:05:35,306 --> 01:05:38,059 -Hey, boss, what's happening? -Ah, there you are. 1156 01:05:38,393 --> 01:05:40,812 Take a look at this note, Paulie. 1157 01:05:44,691 --> 01:05:47,318 "I'm very sorry about my life of crime. 1158 01:05:47,777 --> 01:05:51,072 I cannot live with myself anymore. J. Parnell." 1159 01:05:51,156 --> 01:05:53,074 Well, what do you think? 1160 01:05:53,950 --> 01:05:57,996 Well, I think you've been under a tremendous amount of pressure lately. 1161 01:05:58,496 --> 01:06:00,748 You know, I think you may be overreacting a little. 1162 01:06:00,832 --> 01:06:02,750 I mean, we got the weapons. 1163 01:06:02,834 --> 01:06:04,711 We're going to South America tomorrow. 1164 01:06:04,794 --> 01:06:08,006 We're clearing a lot of money. Why are you so depressed? 1165 01:06:08,089 --> 01:06:11,634 I'm not actually going to kill myself. 1166 01:06:12,594 --> 01:06:14,012 It's part of the plan. 1167 01:06:14,721 --> 01:06:16,514 They read the note. We disappear. 1168 01:06:17,265 --> 01:06:19,100 And then they don't come looking for us. 1169 01:06:20,018 --> 01:06:22,520 Wow, that... Well, that's a good idea. 1170 01:06:23,271 --> 01:06:25,773 No, no, no. That's a great idea! 1171 01:06:25,857 --> 01:06:30,528 There's one here for you too. You sign that and we can get out of here. 1172 01:06:32,947 --> 01:06:35,283 Oh, and make sure you sign it clearly. 1173 01:06:38,077 --> 01:06:40,121 Uh, let me take a look at that. 1174 01:06:48,713 --> 01:06:51,508 Hmm. Oh, yeah. That's very nice. 1175 01:06:53,468 --> 01:06:54,802 [screaming] 1176 01:06:56,679 --> 01:06:57,805 [thudding] 1177 01:06:57,889 --> 01:06:59,265 -[tires squealing] -Oh! 1178 01:07:00,642 --> 01:07:01,893 That hurts. 1179 01:07:26,918 --> 01:07:29,587 [Tutti] Dear Joe, I'm sorry. I can't help myself. 1180 01:07:29,671 --> 01:07:31,214 I love you too much. 1181 01:07:31,297 --> 01:07:33,424 I've gone back home to be out of your way. 1182 01:07:33,508 --> 01:07:35,134 Love, Mom. PS, 1183 01:07:35,426 --> 01:07:36,678 "I'm sorry about the flowers. 1184 01:07:36,761 --> 01:07:39,222 I realize I've ruined any chance you and Gwen had together. 1185 01:07:39,305 --> 01:07:41,266 Maybe one day you'll be able to forgive me. 1186 01:07:41,891 --> 01:07:45,562 PPS... There's a pineapple upside-down cake in the icebox." 1187 01:07:46,604 --> 01:07:47,730 Damn! 1188 01:07:56,281 --> 01:07:57,782 -[man] Whoa! Hey! -Excuse me! 1189 01:08:07,417 --> 01:08:08,626 Excuse me! 1190 01:08:24,809 --> 01:08:26,144 [panting] 1191 01:08:38,740 --> 01:08:39,741 Mom! 1192 01:08:40,950 --> 01:08:42,327 [man] Hey, slow down! 1193 01:08:43,453 --> 01:08:44,787 [screams] 1194 01:08:44,871 --> 01:08:46,664 You all right? Mom! 1195 01:08:47,540 --> 01:08:48,541 Mom, stop! 1196 01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:50,043 -Joe? -Mom, stop. 1197 01:08:50,877 --> 01:08:53,796 No, Joe, you were right. You gotta live your own life. 1198 01:08:53,880 --> 01:08:56,633 But you were right. I don't want you to go! 1199 01:08:56,716 --> 01:08:59,260 -Slow down. -You were right about Gwen. 1200 01:08:59,344 --> 01:09:01,054 About grabbing on to her. You were right. 1201 01:09:01,137 --> 01:09:03,056 I was wrong. I know that now. 1202 01:09:03,139 --> 01:09:06,184 No, you were right. When I told her what you said, it changed everything. 1203 01:09:06,768 --> 01:09:08,436 -It did? -Yes. 1204 01:09:08,519 --> 01:09:10,355 Mom, I want you to stay. 1205 01:09:10,438 --> 01:09:12,231 Quick. Stop the cart. Stop the cart. 1206 01:09:12,315 --> 01:09:13,691 [panting] 1207 01:09:19,781 --> 01:09:21,324 You really want me to stay? 1208 01:09:23,242 --> 01:09:24,535 You know I do, Mom. 1209 01:09:25,745 --> 01:09:26,829 Joey. 1210 01:09:30,333 --> 01:09:34,337 Now, tell me, what did Gwen say when you told her? 1211 01:09:34,420 --> 01:09:38,091 Well, she said it's the sweetest thing that anyone ever said to her. 1212 01:09:39,258 --> 01:09:42,387 -And then? -Uh, that's it. That's what she said. 1213 01:09:43,054 --> 01:09:44,681 -You didn't propose to her? -No, Mom. 1214 01:09:44,764 --> 01:09:47,558 We just got back together, but I mean it's a beginning. 1215 01:09:47,642 --> 01:09:49,852 -It's a missed opportunity! -Wait. 1216 01:09:51,104 --> 01:09:54,357 Wait. Stop right there. 1217 01:09:54,440 --> 01:09:55,608 What? 1218 01:09:56,401 --> 01:09:58,403 -You're doing it again. -Doing what? 1219 01:09:59,070 --> 01:10:02,281 -What? -Interfering! Rule number two. 1220 01:10:02,365 --> 01:10:04,992 Come on, you can't be serious about these rules! 1221 01:10:08,079 --> 01:10:11,416 Gate 18 and make it fast. I don't want her to miss her flight. 1222 01:10:11,499 --> 01:10:12,917 What are you doing? 1223 01:10:13,418 --> 01:10:15,044 Have a nice ride home. 1224 01:10:16,212 --> 01:10:17,213 What are you doing? 1225 01:10:17,588 --> 01:10:18,756 Joey? 1226 01:10:19,882 --> 01:10:21,426 Thank you. Joey? 1227 01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:24,595 Joseph A. Bomowski, this is your mother talking! 1228 01:10:25,304 --> 01:10:27,765 Joe? Will you wait a minute? 1229 01:10:28,516 --> 01:10:30,810 Can't we even discuss these rules? 1230 01:10:30,893 --> 01:10:32,270 Mom, they're nonnegotiable. 1231 01:10:32,353 --> 01:10:35,022 I'm not talking about negotiate, I'm talking about a little flexibility here. 1232 01:10:35,106 --> 01:10:36,232 What, flexibility? 1233 01:10:36,315 --> 01:10:39,444 I give you an inch you take the entire New Jersey Turnpike. 1234 01:10:39,527 --> 01:10:41,988 -Okay! Okay! -Okay what? 1235 01:10:43,614 --> 01:10:44,949 The rules. 1236 01:10:45,533 --> 01:10:46,784 You got a deal. 1237 01:10:49,620 --> 01:10:51,080 All right, you got a deal. 1238 01:10:57,503 --> 01:10:58,671 Hey, hey. 1239 01:10:59,255 --> 01:11:03,676 Mom, I swear, this is gonna be the best weekend we ever spent together. 1240 01:11:04,343 --> 01:11:05,678 Maybe not. 1241 01:11:12,643 --> 01:11:13,728 Stay here. 1242 01:11:14,979 --> 01:11:16,105 [softly] Joey. 1243 01:11:17,148 --> 01:11:18,232 Joey. 1244 01:11:18,566 --> 01:11:19,567 [gun cocks] 1245 01:11:20,067 --> 01:11:21,152 Shh. 1246 01:12:00,525 --> 01:12:01,484 I got him, Joe! 1247 01:12:01,567 --> 01:12:04,153 -Mom, I told you, wait for me outside. -Yeah, yeah. 1248 01:12:04,237 --> 01:12:06,072 Didn't you promise me in the car you'd leave me alone 1249 01:12:06,155 --> 01:12:07,240 and just give me some space? 1250 01:12:07,698 --> 01:12:09,492 So I'll start tomorrow! 1251 01:12:09,784 --> 01:12:11,118 I give up. 1252 01:12:14,539 --> 01:12:16,082 Holy moley! 1253 01:12:16,165 --> 01:12:18,167 That's the schmo who sold me the gun. 1254 01:12:18,251 --> 01:12:19,752 -It is? -Yeah! 1255 01:12:21,629 --> 01:12:23,089 [Tutti] More chocolate milk, Mitchell? 1256 01:12:24,090 --> 01:12:25,466 No thanks, Mrs. Bomowski. 1257 01:12:25,550 --> 01:12:28,219 -What about you, sweetie? -No, Mom, I'm fine. 1258 01:12:28,302 --> 01:12:30,680 So, why'd you come here? It's not even my case? 1259 01:12:31,347 --> 01:12:33,432 [sighs] You saved my girlfriend's life. 1260 01:12:33,516 --> 01:12:34,684 [Joe] Hmm. 1261 01:12:36,435 --> 01:12:39,063 My house ain't safe. My brother's dead. 1262 01:12:40,064 --> 01:12:41,190 I got nowhere else to go. 1263 01:12:41,524 --> 01:12:43,359 [Joe] Well, you got any idea who these people are? 1264 01:12:43,442 --> 01:12:44,777 I know zip. 1265 01:12:45,695 --> 01:12:48,406 Okay. We ripped off a few cases of shooters. 1266 01:12:48,906 --> 01:12:50,408 But there were thousands of them up there! 1267 01:12:50,908 --> 01:12:54,036 The guns that were supposed to have been destroyed in the fire. 1268 01:12:54,120 --> 01:12:55,997 -We got 'em, Joey. -Up where? 1269 01:12:56,080 --> 01:12:58,749 The Brunswick Airstrip. You know, it's outside of Ventura. 1270 01:12:59,208 --> 01:13:01,878 It went bankrupt. Some savings and loan took it over. 1271 01:13:01,961 --> 01:13:04,005 That's great, Mitchell, and you'll be safe here. 1272 01:13:04,088 --> 01:13:05,923 Joe and I'll go and check out the place. 1273 01:13:06,799 --> 01:13:11,429 Mom, remember when I was in high school and every week you would call my teachers 1274 01:13:11,554 --> 01:13:13,931 to see if I was doing good and cutting class? 1275 01:13:14,599 --> 01:13:17,184 That used to embarrass the hell outta me. 1276 01:13:17,268 --> 01:13:18,853 But now I understand why you did it. 1277 01:13:18,936 --> 01:13:20,855 It wasn't that you didn't trust me. 1278 01:13:20,938 --> 01:13:25,651 You just felt a responsibility to make sure that I didn't get into trouble. 1279 01:13:26,485 --> 01:13:29,238 Oh, that's it, Joe. You finally understand. 1280 01:13:29,322 --> 01:13:30,948 Mom, I do understand 1281 01:13:31,032 --> 01:13:34,619 and in the same way I want you to understand why I have to do... 1282 01:13:35,703 --> 01:13:37,288 -[clicks] -...this. 1283 01:13:39,373 --> 01:13:41,083 Whoa! Bummer. 1284 01:13:46,380 --> 01:13:47,924 [water running] 1285 01:13:48,466 --> 01:13:51,886 I remember I once this before when Joey was about nine years old. 1286 01:13:52,303 --> 01:13:55,222 He got his head caught in some railings in the park. 1287 01:13:55,306 --> 01:13:56,599 The problem was his ears. 1288 01:13:57,266 --> 01:13:59,268 They were so big for a boy his age. 1289 01:13:59,352 --> 01:14:01,646 They kept getting caught on the bars. 1290 01:14:02,980 --> 01:14:04,899 I got it. I did it! 1291 01:14:05,566 --> 01:14:07,234 Ah! I'm out! 1292 01:14:07,318 --> 01:14:08,736 -Whoa! -I did it, I did it. I did it. 1293 01:14:08,819 --> 01:14:10,780 Yo, Mrs. B. Way to go, babe! 1294 01:14:10,863 --> 01:14:13,199 Sometimes I even impress myself. 1295 01:14:13,824 --> 01:14:15,117 Could you help me off? 1296 01:14:17,203 --> 01:14:18,913 Where's my gun? I'm outta here. 1297 01:14:18,996 --> 01:14:20,998 Upstairs with your keys in the bathroom. 1298 01:14:21,874 --> 01:14:23,000 Thanks, babe. 1299 01:14:36,472 --> 01:14:37,473 [groans] 1300 01:14:40,518 --> 01:14:42,103 Major, major bummer. 1301 01:14:45,356 --> 01:14:48,192 Sorry, Mitchell, I need your car. 1302 01:14:48,818 --> 01:14:52,655 And I don't think that Joey would appreciate you going off to Mexico. 1303 01:14:52,947 --> 01:14:56,075 Now, hold still. This won't hurt a bit. 1304 01:15:00,579 --> 01:15:02,039 Be back to get you, babe. 1305 01:15:35,239 --> 01:15:36,240 Lift up! 1306 01:15:42,747 --> 01:15:44,081 [man] Easy. Easy! 1307 01:15:46,584 --> 01:15:47,668 Tie it up there. 1308 01:15:47,752 --> 01:15:49,086 One more load. 1309 01:16:00,723 --> 01:16:02,558 This is Sergeant Joe Bomowski, LAPD. 1310 01:16:02,641 --> 01:16:05,269 I need immediate assistance up at the Brunswick Airport right away. 1311 01:16:05,352 --> 01:16:07,438 [man] Come on. Let's go over here. 1312 01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:31,962 Uh-oh. 1313 01:16:33,798 --> 01:16:35,549 Move this. We wanna see this. 1314 01:16:36,342 --> 01:16:39,011 [Tutti] Let me go! [man] Come on, hurry it up! 1315 01:16:46,143 --> 01:16:47,228 [man] Come on! 1316 01:16:49,647 --> 01:16:51,982 [Parnell] Where's your little boy, Mrs. Bomowski? 1317 01:16:52,066 --> 01:16:53,067 [Tutti] You won't get away with this. 1318 01:16:53,150 --> 01:16:54,610 My Joe will be all over you like a cheap suit. 1319 01:16:54,693 --> 01:16:55,528 Oh, God! 1320 01:16:55,611 --> 01:16:56,737 Get her on the plane. 1321 01:16:56,821 --> 01:16:59,198 If her son's around, he won't be able to interfere. 1322 01:16:59,281 --> 01:17:03,160 [Parnell] When we get her over the ocean, we'll find out just how well she can swim. 1323 01:17:03,244 --> 01:17:05,371 [man] Move it! Move it! 1324 01:17:12,503 --> 01:17:13,587 Sit down. 1325 01:18:03,637 --> 01:18:04,638 Hey! 1326 01:18:05,723 --> 01:18:06,724 [tires squealing] 1327 01:18:08,601 --> 01:18:09,685 Shit! 1328 01:18:29,830 --> 01:18:31,081 [all exclaiming] 1329 01:18:44,511 --> 01:18:45,763 [tire blasts] 1330 01:18:59,860 --> 01:19:00,861 Hey! 1331 01:19:05,324 --> 01:19:06,742 [brakes screeching] 1332 01:19:28,681 --> 01:19:29,723 [Parnell] Get out there and find him. 1333 01:19:31,267 --> 01:19:32,726 -Get off! -Take her down. Take her down. 1334 01:19:32,810 --> 01:19:34,895 Ah! Oh, God. 1335 01:19:38,148 --> 01:19:40,359 -Where are you taking me? -Just be quiet. 1336 01:19:40,442 --> 01:19:42,236 Where are you taking me? Joey! 1337 01:19:42,611 --> 01:19:43,737 Okay. 1338 01:19:48,367 --> 01:19:49,493 [groans] 1339 01:19:50,703 --> 01:19:51,912 [all grunting] 1340 01:19:54,790 --> 01:19:56,583 Hey, asshole, drop it. 1341 01:19:58,961 --> 01:20:00,045 [Tutti] Joey! 1342 01:20:00,462 --> 01:20:01,588 Joey, are you all right? 1343 01:20:01,672 --> 01:20:02,965 Mom, what are you doing here? 1344 01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:04,883 -I came to back you up. -Get inside! 1345 01:20:07,678 --> 01:20:09,388 Parnell, let her go. 1346 01:20:09,471 --> 01:20:10,848 Don't be ridiculous. 1347 01:20:10,931 --> 01:20:12,933 Do you think I'd be content with just killing you? 1348 01:20:13,017 --> 01:20:14,643 I said let her go! 1349 01:20:15,185 --> 01:20:16,603 Or what? 1350 01:20:16,687 --> 01:20:18,188 [siren wailing] 1351 01:20:21,191 --> 01:20:22,359 It's all over. 1352 01:20:23,027 --> 01:20:24,278 Parnell, it's all over! 1353 01:20:24,361 --> 01:20:26,238 Get the car. Get the car! 1354 01:20:26,322 --> 01:20:27,323 I'll tell you what's all over. 1355 01:20:29,033 --> 01:20:31,160 Say good-bye to your little boy, Mrs. Bomowski. 1356 01:20:31,243 --> 01:20:32,745 Get back there. You're next. 1357 01:20:33,329 --> 01:20:34,580 Hold it! 1358 01:20:37,583 --> 01:20:38,625 Now... 1359 01:20:41,420 --> 01:20:45,716 This is really gonna give me a great deal of pleasure. 1360 01:20:56,143 --> 01:20:57,311 [gasps] 1361 01:21:05,152 --> 01:21:07,237 Nobody hurts my baby. 1362 01:21:09,531 --> 01:21:10,783 [grunts] 1363 01:21:25,923 --> 01:21:29,676 Gee whiz, you shot him! 1364 01:21:31,845 --> 01:21:33,097 No shit. 1365 01:21:34,765 --> 01:21:36,392 Ma, you saved my life. 1366 01:21:37,101 --> 01:21:39,353 That's what moms are for, junior. 1367 01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:54,868 You know, Mom, I can't believe it, but I'm really kinda sad to see you go. 1368 01:21:54,952 --> 01:21:56,245 Don't worry, I'll be back soon. 1369 01:21:56,328 --> 01:21:58,414 [chuckles] Not too soon, I hope. 1370 01:21:58,497 --> 01:21:59,623 Just kidding! 1371 01:22:00,374 --> 01:22:03,085 -It's been great, Tutti. -Oh, it's been such fun. 1372 01:22:03,168 --> 01:22:05,838 I can see why you two like police work. It's so stimulating. 1373 01:22:05,921 --> 01:22:07,131 Yeah. 1374 01:22:07,506 --> 01:22:08,882 Can I see the ring again? 1375 01:22:08,966 --> 01:22:10,592 [sighing] Okay. 1376 01:22:10,676 --> 01:22:13,387 -[Joe] Mom. -Oh, it's beautiful. 1377 01:22:13,470 --> 01:22:15,639 I couldn't have done better if I picked it out myself. 1378 01:22:15,722 --> 01:22:17,641 -[woman speaking on PA] -I thought you did! 1379 01:22:17,766 --> 01:22:19,935 Hey! Mom, that's your flight. 1380 01:22:23,439 --> 01:22:26,316 Well, young lady, thanks for everything. 1381 01:22:31,822 --> 01:22:34,533 Joe, I think that man over there's a criminal. 1382 01:22:34,616 --> 01:22:37,786 I recognize his face from America's Most Wanted on TV. 1383 01:22:37,870 --> 01:22:40,664 I don't think so, Mom. Come on, you're gonna be late. Come on. 1384 01:22:40,747 --> 01:22:43,333 No, look. He's trying to avoid the metal detector. 1385 01:22:43,417 --> 01:22:45,419 -Mom, please. -Hey, you, young man, 1386 01:22:45,502 --> 01:22:47,838 don't give me that innocent look, you're under arrest. 1387 01:22:47,921 --> 01:22:49,882 -My son here is a police officer. -Mom. Mom... 1388 01:22:49,965 --> 01:22:51,550 -Joe, draw your gun. He's getting away! -Ma, are you-- 1389 01:22:51,675 --> 01:22:52,926 Joe, he's getting away! Draw your gun. 1390 01:22:53,343 --> 01:22:54,511 [all screaming] 1391 01:22:54,595 --> 01:22:56,680 Rule number twelve, listen to your mother! 1392 01:22:56,847 --> 01:22:57,848 Damn! 1393 01:23:03,145 --> 01:23:04,271 Move! 1394 01:23:10,360 --> 01:23:11,862 -Hey, cuffs! -Here you go. 1395 01:23:12,613 --> 01:23:14,865 Let us through. Police. Let us through. 1396 01:23:17,201 --> 01:23:18,285 -Joey? -Yeah, Ma? 1397 01:23:18,368 --> 01:23:19,703 Now I remember what he did. 1398 01:23:20,704 --> 01:23:22,164 He shot his mother!