1 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:11,060 I have a priority package from the NATSAT printing room. 2 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,187 Why don't you say it a little louder? 3 00:05:13,397 --> 00:05:16,023 We could open the window. You could shout it towards Moscow. 4 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,274 Sorry. l.... 5 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:20,111 It's not your fault you're stupid. 6 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:24,615 - Just open the case and get out of here. - The case is chained to my wrist... 7 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,617 and security dispatch has the key. 8 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:33,791 Well, than leave the material, take the case, and wait outside. 9 00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:37,753 No can do, sir. The material is locked to the interior of the case. 10 00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:40,214 All right. Just give it to me. 11 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,224 Get in the closet. 12 00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:12,621 Hi-Weather lV transmitted this stuff an hour ago. 13 00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:15,166 Beautiful close-ups! 14 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,793 Miegs and Sline will drool. 15 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:21,464 They're late again. Unusual for soldiers. 16 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,632 They know what they're doing. 17 00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:30,556 - Gentlemen. - Here they are. 18 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:35,603 - Are those the shots from the latest fly-by? - Over here, general. 19 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:43,360 Wait. Is someone in this closet? 20 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:46,405 - lgnore him. - He's just one of our couriers. 21 00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:48,074 Oh. 22 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:49,658 Okay. 23 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:54,288 Nice close-ups. Definitely approaching full-go hour. 24 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,711 I greased the House Committee for covert appropriations. 25 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,839 They think the funds are for more stealth bombers. 26 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:08,719 We've selected two GLG-20s. They're the best men we have. 27 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,930 The last two were the best men we had. 28 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,682 Now they're the two best dead men we have. 29 00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:17,686 I'm convinced there's a security leak in your training program. 30 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:22,441 - Well, we could bypass training. - No. They'll go through training. 31 00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:24,944 But with four other GLG-20s... 32 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:28,531 two who are responsible for the project and two who are... 33 00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:30,699 disposable. 34 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,911 Are you suggesting we assign this job to inferior personnel? 35 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:37,289 No, no, I understand. Two teams. 36 00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:41,710 One to do the job, the other to be a diversion. 37 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:45,673 - You mean decoys? Targets? - Exactly. 38 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:50,719 GLG-20s don't exactly grow on trees. I'd hate to waste two of them as targets. 39 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:54,723 I'm sure you can find a couple of men you won't mind wasting. 40 00:08:02,613 --> 00:08:04,615 ♪ I'LL BE ♪ WHEN? ♪ LOVIN' YOU ♪ 41 00:08:04,615 --> 00:08:07,118 ♪ CLOUDY DAYS OR SUNNY ♪ 42 00:08:07,118 --> 00:08:08,619 ♪ LOVIN' YOU ♪ 43 00:08:08,619 --> 00:08:09,620 ♪ ARE YOU SURE? ♪ 44 00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:11,122 ♪ THAT'S A PROMISE, HONEY ? 45 00:08:11,122 --> 00:08:15,126 ♪ WHEN YOUR KISS CAN NO LONGER PACK A THRILL ♪ 46 00:08:16,627 --> 00:08:17,628 NOTHIN'. 47 00:08:18,129 --> 00:08:21,132 ♪ I'LL STILL BE LOVIN' YOU ♪ 48 00:08:21,132 --> 00:08:23,134 ♪ I'LL BE HUGGIN' YOU ♪ 49 00:08:23,134 --> 00:08:24,635 ♪ HOW? ♪ 50 00:08:24,635 --> 00:08:27,138 ♪ LIKE A BABY PANDA, KISSIN' YOU ♪ 51 00:08:27,138 --> 00:08:28,139 ♪ WHERE? ♪ 52 00:08:28,139 --> 00:08:30,141 ♪ ON YOUR OLD VERANDA ♪ 53 00:08:30,141 --> 00:08:33,644 ♪ WHEN YOUR CHARM, DEAR, IS ABSOLUTELY NIL ♪ 54 00:08:33,644 --> 00:08:36,647 YEAH, I KNOW. YOU'LL STILL BE LOVIN' ME. 55 00:08:38,649 --> 00:08:40,151 ♪ BILLIN', COOIN' ♪ 56 00:08:40,151 --> 00:08:42,153 ♪ YOU I'LL KEEP PURSUIN' ♪ 57 00:08:42,653 --> 00:08:44,655 ♪ ALWAYS LOVIN' ♪ 58 00:08:44,655 --> 00:08:46,657 ♪ HOTTER THAN A BAKER'S OVEN ♪ 59 00:08:48,159 --> 00:08:51,162 ♪ WE DO SMART WORK ♪ 60 00:08:51,662 --> 00:08:52,663 What? 61 00:08:52,663 --> 00:08:54,665 ♪ YOU'LL JUST LOVE OUR ARTWORK ♪ 62 00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:58,169 ♪ DON'T BLAME ME... ♪ 63 00:08:53,681 --> 00:08:55,015 What? 64 00:08:58,455 --> 00:09:01,999 - What? - Aren't you taking this test tomorrow? 65 00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:06,253 - The Foreign Service Board? Yeah, sure. - Don't you have to study? 66 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:10,799 No. Are you kidding? I know the FSB exam glass-backwards. 67 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:15,346 - l've taken it three times already. - lt's supposed to be all different this year. 68 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,808 - Five hundred questions in two hours. - Let me see the booklet. 69 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:27,066 Look at these samples. All multiple choice. It's easy. 70 00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,486 Here. 71 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:35,282 "If discovered appropriating classified documents at a foreign consulate reception... 72 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:38,327 you should A, express concern. 73 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,704 B, act surprised. 74 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,498 C, deny everything... 75 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:46,669 and D, all three." The answer is D, all three. 76 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,295 Common sense stuff. 77 00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:51,131 I guess you don't want advancement bad enough. 78 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:55,678 My granddad was an envoy. My dad was an envoy. 79 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,555 I was born into the trade. 80 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:03,269 Besides, l've arranged for an intimate lunch with our supervisor. 81 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,188 Fitz, you have to take that test. 82 00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:09,275 I'm very hurt that's why you invited me over here today. 83 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:11,944 Oh, come on. Don't do that, Alice. 84 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:16,949 I'm sorry, I'm not myself today. I saw my neurologist this morning. 85 00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:20,327 You're not gonna give me some bullshit that you're dying, are you? 86 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:22,371 No... 87 00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,540 not now. 88 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,995 [PETER AYKROYD'S "ROCK THE HOUSE DOWN" PLAYlNG OVER STEREO] 89 00:11:04,476 --> 00:11:06,979 ♪ 'CAUSE THERE'S ONE THING WE FORGOT TO SAY ♪ 90 00:11:08,981 --> 00:11:10,482 ♪ WE'RE GONNA ROCK THE HOUSE DOWN ♪ 91 00:11:10,517 --> 00:11:11,948 Millbarge. 92 00:11:12,083 --> 00:11:15,049 ♪ WE'RE GONNA SHAKE UP THE PLACE... ♪ 93 00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:19,553 - Where's the brain for the Scramjam 7000? - Procurement picked it up over an hour ago. 94 00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:20,763 Was it fixed? 95 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,890 Yeah, with new voice scramblers and everything. 96 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:26,226 Huh. What about that red-Chinese radio chatter? 97 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,436 It's done. 98 00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:31,857 - Here you go. - Done? 99 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:37,071 It was a static-filled, triple-scrambled microwave transmission... 100 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,615 between two soldiers talking in Mandarin Chinese. 101 00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:43,410 The Chinese were only using a simple polyphonetically grouped 20-digit key... 102 00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:46,705 transposed in boustrophendonic form with multiple nulls. 103 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,415 I broke it with this. 104 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,460 A Drogan's decoder wheel? 105 00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:54,296 They put these into cereal boxes for kids. 106 00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:58,175 Yeah, l found it in a box of... Lucky Charms. 107 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:02,805 - Break it down again with the machines! - l already did. 108 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,936 Well, then... clean up the desk! 109 00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:17,152 Good. That's much better. 110 00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:20,656 Oh, yeah. By the way, good luck on the test tomorrow. 111 00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:25,202 - Test. What test? - The Foreign Service Board exams. Good luck. 112 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:28,664 Foreign Service Boards, tomorrow? I can't take that test tomorrow. 113 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,666 I haven't studied. l'm not prepared. 114 00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,585 You were bumped up on the list. 115 00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:38,257 You're scheduled for tomorrow morning. I'm sure l told you. 116 00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,427 This is dated two weeks ago. 117 00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:43,720 You planned this. 118 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,598 You want me to fail that test so you can keep me... 119 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,852 down here in the center of the earth doing your work for you. 120 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,812 You just watch your mouth, mister. 121 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:55,566 This department's laying off civilians left and right. 122 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:02,197 - Where you going? - Home. To study. 123 00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:06,869 Ha. One night studying for a grade-19 FSB exam? 124 00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:09,663 - Good luck. - Listen, captain. 125 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:13,876 I'm going to pass that exam, and l'm going to get out of this hole... 126 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:17,379 and do some really important work for national security. 127 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,047 Yeah, sure. 128 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:23,510 I was going to do your family a favor and hook up the Disney Channel... 129 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,889 for free. Well, forget it. 130 00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:30,726 Ladies and gentlemen... 131 00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:34,313 as of this afternoon, the undersecretary for South American affairs... 132 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,773 emphatically denies any and all intervention... 133 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:40,569 in the current realignment of top positions of the Paraguayan Air Force. 134 00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:42,279 Thank you very much. 135 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:46,408 What about the Paraguayan army's request for spraying subsidies? 136 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:50,329 Are there any Paraguayans here? No? 137 00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:55,834 Of course. Their request for subsidies was not Paraguayan, as it were. 138 00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:59,796 The United States gover... would never... The president, our president, had not. 139 00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,758 As far as l know, that's how it'll always be. Is that clear? 140 00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:03,967 [TALKlNG OVER EACH OTHER] 141 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,595 How can you say we aren't spending millions on spraying... 142 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:09,264 when the International Wheat Board has reported... 143 00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:13,227 and l quote, "Extensive contamination in the grain fields of southern Argentina"? 144 00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:16,230 The State.. Ever... 145 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:17,731 Microphones... 146 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,943 cutting out on us. I'm awfully sorry. However... 147 00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:22,486 [MIMlCS SOUND CUTTING OFF] 148 00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:24,571 Lunch date, so l must go. 149 00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,782 [ALL CLAMORING] 150 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:33,205 These examinations are qualifiers for positions... 151 00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:36,833 in the intelligence sections of our embassies overseas. 152 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:42,297 The nature of your postings will be secret. 153 00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:46,760 Now, secret work can be very risky. 154 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,805 I cite as an example what happened to to one of our greatest Americans... 155 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:51,473 Not yet! 156 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,686 - Oh. I'm sorry. - Excuse me. 157 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,396 - I'm sorry. - My fault. 158 00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:02,234 [WOMAN CLEARS THROAT] 159 00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:05,988 Mm.... 160 00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:09,116 I'm sorry I'm late. I had to attend the reading of a will. 161 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:15,122 I had to stay to the very end. I found out I received nothing. 162 00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:17,165 Broke my arm. 163 00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:21,253 [COUGHS] 164 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,006 Oh, uh.... 165 00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:26,675 Would you hold my wallet while l take the test please? 166 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,719 There's $1,000 in there... 167 00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:32,723 or maybe there isn't. Know what l mean? 168 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:36,143 Are you saying l can take this money if l help you pass the test? 169 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:38,854 What do you think? 170 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:44,610 Thank you. 171 00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:49,281 - Where do I...? - Sit down! 172 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,884 You may begin... 173 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:10,469 ...now. 174 00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:35,243 Excuse me. 175 00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,784 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 176 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:45,832 Oh, God, the pressure! I can't take it! 177 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:52,672 I can't take it! I can't! I can't do it! 178 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,974 I can't... What page? 179 00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,728 This is Emmett Fitz-Hume. 180 00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:09,856 He's an information officer at State. 181 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:12,484 He started there in '74 as a mail boy. 182 00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,694 His father got him his job. 183 00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,781 This is Austin Millbarge. 184 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:22,494 He's a repair supervisor in DlA's code-breaking arm at the Pentagon. 185 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:26,581 Wiggled into supervisor's pay through an F-section. 186 00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:30,502 His last job before joining Defense was fixing office copiers. 187 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:34,673 He's good with hardware, got some Russian. 188 00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:36,299 Want to see their test scores? 189 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,343 What the hell for? 190 00:19:38,553 --> 00:19:41,555 They're a couple of absolutely self- involved bullshit artists... 191 00:19:41,764 --> 00:19:45,392 who got caught cheating on a departmental exam. 192 00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:47,727 They'll do anything to save their jobs. 193 00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:50,272 One's got basic diplomacy skills. 194 00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:53,942 The other's a code-breaker with language ability. 195 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,236 I believe we've found our decoys. 196 00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:02,701 Uhn. Heart attack! 197 00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,414 Can l borrow your pen? 198 00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,708 All right, everybody, please stand back! 199 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:14,170 l'm a trained cardiovascular respiratory emergency assist technician. 200 00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:19,301 I want all of you to stand back! This man needs air! In fact, all of you should leave the room... 201 00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:21,720 Well? 202 00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:26,766 So, what are we gonna get? Dismissal? Suspension? 203 00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:29,644 Censure? Departmental prosecution? What? 204 00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:31,438 Promotion. 205 00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:33,857 - What? - That's right. 206 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,776 We like what we've seen in you two, guys. 207 00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:39,738 We're bucking you right up front to gathering. 208 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,031 Level 20. 209 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:45,994 Gathering, level 20? That's quite a step up in base pay. 210 00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:47,370 You mean, we're not in trouble? 211 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,873 We're not recruiting for the Boy Scouts. 212 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,375 We want people who are aggressive... 213 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:57,005 who know how to go after that little edge that you need to survive. 214 00:20:58,049 --> 00:21:02,761 And we especially liked the way you two guys were working as a team in there. 215 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:10,018 Now, if you feel you can work together, you're on your way up. 216 00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:15,273 We've got a very special assignment for you two. 217 00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:19,361 - Foreign service? - Yes. 218 00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:22,030 - Undercover work? - Yes. 219 00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:27,202 - Emmett Fitz-Hume. - Austin Millbarge. 220 00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:30,121 - When do we begin our training? - Right away. 221 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:31,957 Boy! 222 00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:43,885 We're just hitching a ride with this guys. They won't make us jump. 223 00:21:44,095 --> 00:21:47,639 Jump? No chance. We won't have to jump. 224 00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:52,769 All right, Sky-troopers! Let's go! Let's go! 225 00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:55,230 Go? What does he mean, go? 226 00:21:55,731 --> 00:22:00,402 Come on, come on. You can't do this! What are you doing? Aaah! 227 00:22:01,362 --> 00:22:02,404 Fitz-Hume! 228 00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:16,626 Help! Help! 229 00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:23,425 Ooh! 230 00:22:23,926 --> 00:22:25,844 Help! Help! Help! Help! 231 00:22:50,828 --> 00:22:53,121 - Where are we? - l don't know. I wasn't watching. 232 00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:55,373 I lost everything at 7,000 feet. 233 00:22:57,376 --> 00:23:01,296 - You hear that? - Yeah. It's a dickfer. 234 00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:03,631 - What's a dickfer? - To pee with. 235 00:23:08,763 --> 00:23:10,305 Was that me? 236 00:23:27,823 --> 00:23:31,326 - We need a plan. - Let's play dead. 237 00:23:36,707 --> 00:23:41,044 - Come on, superspy, think of something. - You're the diplomat. Talk to them. 238 00:23:47,009 --> 00:23:48,176 All right. 239 00:23:49,136 --> 00:23:52,514 Stop right there, and l'll bring back the sun. 240 00:23:53,516 --> 00:23:55,016 Okay? 241 00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:58,895 This is my sister. You can all have her. 242 00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:00,814 I hear she's very good. 243 00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:04,400 - Just take another step, and l start swinging! - You heard that? He's threatening you! 244 00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:05,860 Let's get him! 245 00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:09,739 - For God's sake. Show some balls! - I think it's too late to try to impress them. 246 00:24:11,992 --> 00:24:12,992 That's enough. 247 00:24:20,084 --> 00:24:22,627 - Austin Millbarge? - Here, sir. 248 00:24:23,587 --> 00:24:25,004 Emmett Fitz-Hume. 249 00:24:25,923 --> 00:24:26,923 Hello. 250 00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:31,302 Sir. 251 00:24:33,556 --> 00:24:37,892 Colonel Rhombus, Special Projects Training. We've been expecting you. 252 00:24:38,102 --> 00:24:41,521 Excuse me, sir but what was all this...? 253 00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:43,398 That's how l welcome new trainees. 254 00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:45,608 What's wrong with a hot cup of coffee and a handshake? 255 00:24:45,818 --> 00:24:49,320 This is my job to get you prepared to go out into the field for combat. 256 00:24:49,530 --> 00:24:52,615 I must know right away what I've got to work with. 257 00:24:52,825 --> 00:24:54,325 I've made my decision. 258 00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:57,537 - What's it say? - Pussy. 259 00:24:57,705 --> 00:25:01,082 I don't think that's vary fair. All this guys had swords. What are we supposed to do? 260 00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:05,086 It depends on your particular arena of combat. 261 00:25:05,296 --> 00:25:06,629 Maybe this. 262 00:25:11,051 --> 00:25:12,760 Oh! 263 00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:25,815 I'll take you back to the base. 264 00:25:26,192 --> 00:25:28,693 Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! 265 00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:30,612 This is the obstacle course. 266 00:25:31,071 --> 00:25:34,157 It's the course familiar to armed service recruits. 267 00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:36,868 Except that here in Intelligence Operative Training... 268 00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:39,120 we do it a bit differently. 269 00:25:39,330 --> 00:25:41,623 We add the element of scorched earth. 270 00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:54,677 This is your standard bog negotiation trial. 271 00:25:57,473 --> 00:26:00,600 You'll be judged on survivability and time. 272 00:26:01,143 --> 00:26:02,477 Enter... 273 00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:04,020 now! 274 00:26:04,188 --> 00:26:07,523 Ow! Ow! Ow! 275 00:26:11,987 --> 00:26:13,488 - Heads down! - Hah! Oh! 276 00:26:17,159 --> 00:26:21,412 This will verify your ability to stay afloat at high speeds. 277 00:26:33,676 --> 00:26:36,761 We'll now begin with AFPSR... 278 00:26:36,971 --> 00:26:39,389 air force passive strain response. 279 00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:43,893 You are not required to exert yourself at all. 280 00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:48,398 Only to survive aggravated body temperature measurement. 281 00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:54,237 - Whoa! Ooh! - Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 282 00:26:54,488 --> 00:26:56,197 Hot! Hot! Hot! 283 00:26:56,365 --> 00:27:00,785 We'll now determine your G-force threshold. Just relax, gentlemen. 284 00:27:02,371 --> 00:27:06,040 - l guess we just sit here? - Piece of cake. 285 00:27:40,242 --> 00:27:42,702 - You want some coffee? - That's a good idea. 286 00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:44,245 Huh. 287 00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:52,295 Colonel, we were just talking.... 288 00:27:52,504 --> 00:27:55,548 We've had loads of fun here. And, you know, we met new friends... 289 00:27:55,716 --> 00:27:57,467 and had a great lunch. Was it a great lunch, right? 290 00:27:57,634 --> 00:28:00,553 Yeah, the tuna and cream casserole was beautiful. 291 00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:03,473 Anyway, we were just talking and we'd like to go home now. 292 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,809 So, thanks for the bruises, and you can keep the stool samples. 293 00:28:12,775 --> 00:28:16,444 Boys, it would be a shame to have to kill you now. 294 00:28:18,947 --> 00:28:22,617 - What did he mean by that? - Means we're OlO. 295 00:28:22,826 --> 00:28:23,868 What's that? 296 00:28:24,078 --> 00:28:26,662 Obligated Involuntary Officers. 297 00:28:27,998 --> 00:28:31,459 Gentlemen, begin radical vertical impact simulation... 298 00:28:31,627 --> 00:28:33,127 now. 299 00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:47,725 Come in. 300 00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:54,816 You wanted to see us, sir? 301 00:28:59,696 --> 00:29:00,696 Sit. 302 00:29:08,997 --> 00:29:10,331 Congratulations, men. 303 00:29:10,499 --> 00:29:13,918 You're about to enter the operational phase of your assignment. 304 00:29:15,045 --> 00:29:17,922 I'm not authorized to give you the full operational package... 305 00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:22,427 but l will tell you the location of your initial drop will be well inside the borders of Pakistan. 306 00:29:23,053 --> 00:29:24,512 - Pakistan? - Pakistan? 307 00:30:36,460 --> 00:30:38,878 Is one of these people our contact? 308 00:30:42,549 --> 00:30:46,761 Okay. Who led the American League in home runs in 1953? 309 00:30:51,099 --> 00:30:52,683 I'll handle this. 310 00:31:24,258 --> 00:31:27,343 - What's he doing? - That's just their way of saying hello. 311 00:31:27,553 --> 00:31:30,721 Hello. I'm Austin. 312 00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:39,230 Hi. Bud Schnelker, liaison office. U.S. consulate, Karachi. 313 00:31:39,439 --> 00:31:43,317 Rob Hodges. DIA, West Asian section. Welcome to Pakistan. 314 00:31:43,569 --> 00:31:46,862 Boy, you don't know how glad we are to see you guys. 315 00:31:47,030 --> 00:31:50,491 - When's lunch? - Come on, guys. Jeep's over here. 316 00:31:58,250 --> 00:32:00,501 I'm starving. What time you got? 317 00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,467 Hey, listen. Could we stop? 318 00:32:09,011 --> 00:32:11,846 - What's the matter? - l gotta take a leak. 319 00:32:22,858 --> 00:32:24,483 You should go too. 320 00:32:25,527 --> 00:32:26,861 What are you, my mother? 321 00:32:27,029 --> 00:32:30,615 Don't you think l'm capable of determining my own time to go to the bathroom? 322 00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:33,117 So, isn't now one of those times? 323 00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:34,577 No. 324 00:32:34,828 --> 00:32:38,456 You mean you don't feel a certain degree of urgent pressure on the inner wall of your bladder... 325 00:32:38,624 --> 00:32:42,585 now, right at this moment? - No. I'm fine. 326 00:32:43,420 --> 00:32:46,088 Wouldn't you feel more comfortable being fully relieved... 327 00:32:46,256 --> 00:32:50,635 of any excess fluids that might be building up, immediately, right now? 328 00:32:50,802 --> 00:32:52,553 I got to take a whiz? 329 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,725 - Don't go away. - We'll be here. 330 00:33:03,732 --> 00:33:08,569 These guys are not our legitimate contacts. These guys are KGB special branch. 331 00:33:09,112 --> 00:33:10,738 - Come on. - Oh, don't tell me to come on. 332 00:33:10,906 --> 00:33:12,323 That was a Russian wristwatch. 333 00:33:12,491 --> 00:33:14,700 I know the country of origin of every timepiece in the world. 334 00:33:14,868 --> 00:33:17,578 That was a Russian copy of a 1969 Timex digital. 335 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:19,914 What is this some kind of a hobby with you? 336 00:33:20,082 --> 00:33:24,085 Basic. Most common slip-up in espionage. We walked right into enemy hands. 337 00:33:27,714 --> 00:33:28,923 - Hi. - Just between us... 338 00:33:29,091 --> 00:33:30,925 if you do know your final objective... 339 00:33:31,093 --> 00:33:34,762 you'd be smart to tell us. We could probably work things out a lot quicker for you. 340 00:33:36,431 --> 00:33:39,016 Well, like he said, we still don't know. 341 00:33:39,184 --> 00:33:42,228 You know what they say about this type of operation: 342 00:33:42,484 --> 00:33:44,228 "Chem menshe znayesh, tem luchshe". (less you know, better for you) 343 00:33:45,184 --> 00:33:47,228 Da, da... da. (yes, yes... yes) 344 00:33:54,574 --> 00:33:55,950 - Feet. - Hat. 345 00:34:03,667 --> 00:34:04,834 Come on! 346 00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:12,758 Look out! 347 00:34:18,974 --> 00:34:23,602 - They sure had me fooled. - The Soviets obviously know we're here now. 348 00:34:23,979 --> 00:34:27,481 - Where to, boss? - First we have to check our gasoline supply. 349 00:34:27,691 --> 00:34:31,152 - Ok. How's our gasoline supply? - Eight 5-gallon cans. 350 00:34:31,403 --> 00:34:34,196 - That enough to get us to an airport? - l hope so. 351 00:34:34,656 --> 00:34:37,992 We'll do driving in shifts. One guy'll drive, the other'll sleep. 352 00:34:38,201 --> 00:34:40,161 Ok. I'll drive, you sleep. 353 00:34:41,788 --> 00:34:44,665 - Wake me up when you get tired. - Okay. 354 00:34:44,833 --> 00:34:47,334 - Good night. - Good night. 355 00:34:48,837 --> 00:34:51,464 - Sleep tight. - Thanks. 356 00:34:51,673 --> 00:34:54,133 - Don't let the bedbugs bite. - Okay. 357 00:34:55,177 --> 00:34:56,552 Night. 358 00:35:32,088 --> 00:35:35,841 Good morning. ls there an airport near here? 359 00:36:04,788 --> 00:36:07,414 Austin. Your turn to drive. 360 00:36:14,381 --> 00:36:17,466 These are the Yusufzai. They're Afghani freedom-fighters. 361 00:36:17,676 --> 00:36:19,009 They're our allies. 362 00:36:19,469 --> 00:36:20,970 Oh! 363 00:36:22,806 --> 00:36:24,431 We're Americans! 364 00:36:40,782 --> 00:36:41,991 Dr. Hadley! 365 00:36:47,914 --> 00:36:49,707 Oh, my God! 366 00:36:52,252 --> 00:36:53,961 What do you think you're doing? 367 00:36:58,341 --> 00:37:01,927 Sorry about this. They're very distrustful of outsiders. 368 00:37:02,304 --> 00:37:05,723 - No problem. - Get your men to cut them down. 369 00:37:16,902 --> 00:37:18,652 - Who are you? - Oh, sorry. 370 00:37:18,820 --> 00:37:21,238 Hadley, London College of Medicine. 371 00:37:21,406 --> 00:37:24,366 They only allow us here because we're helping with the wounded. 372 00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:27,244 - They didn't realize you were with the effort. - With who? 373 00:37:27,412 --> 00:37:29,872 The United Nations medical effort, of course. 374 00:37:30,081 --> 00:37:31,999 Aren't you Drs. Trowbridge and Greenberg? 375 00:37:32,167 --> 00:37:33,792 Doctors? 376 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:37,296 Yeah, sure. That's us. Uh- huh. We're doctors. I'm Dr. Trowbridge. This is Dr.... 377 00:37:37,464 --> 00:37:38,589 - Greenbaum. - Berg. 378 00:37:38,757 --> 00:37:41,091 Greenbaumberg. We're doctors. 379 00:37:42,344 --> 00:37:44,345 Everybody looks fine here. What do you say, doctor? 380 00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:46,347 I say yes, doctor. 381 00:37:49,184 --> 00:37:51,268 Stick your tongue out, please. 382 00:37:55,565 --> 00:37:56,732 Everything's fine. 383 00:37:59,069 --> 00:38:01,195 I guess we'll be heading back to the old U.N. 384 00:38:01,363 --> 00:38:05,282 And of course we'll let them know what a good job you're doing here. 385 00:38:06,952 --> 00:38:09,495 The American sense of humor. 386 00:38:09,829 --> 00:38:12,957 Come on. The others are anxious to meet you. 387 00:38:15,669 --> 00:38:18,545 Have we received the last shipment of penicillin yet? 388 00:38:18,713 --> 00:38:21,715 - Not yet, no. - Possibly tomorrow. 389 00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:23,509 Two envoys are coming. 390 00:38:29,391 --> 00:38:33,060 Ah. Here we are. I'm Hadley, Internal Medicine. 391 00:38:33,561 --> 00:38:36,146 Dr. La Fong, Communicable Diseases. 392 00:38:36,439 --> 00:38:38,983 Dr. Boyer, Bacteriology. 393 00:38:39,192 --> 00:38:43,737 Doctors Stinson, Marston, and Gill of Northampton Trauma lnstitute. 394 00:38:43,947 --> 00:38:46,907 And Dr. lmhaus of the Zurich Relief Fund. 395 00:38:47,951 --> 00:38:50,995 These are our newly arrived surgeons, Trowbridge and Greenbaum. 396 00:38:51,204 --> 00:38:52,913 - Doctor. - Doctor. 397 00:38:53,081 --> 00:38:54,289 - Doctor. - Doctor. 398 00:38:54,457 --> 00:38:58,210 - Doctor. - Doctor. 399 00:38:58,378 --> 00:39:00,087 - Doctor. - Doctor. 400 00:39:00,255 --> 00:39:07,344 - Doctor. - Doctor. 401 00:39:07,512 --> 00:39:08,512 Doctor. 402 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,015 - And, doctor. - Did we miss anyone? 403 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:12,766 Why don't you gentlemen relax. 404 00:39:13,226 --> 00:39:16,603 The tribe's planning a raid on a Soviet tank division tomorrow. 405 00:39:16,771 --> 00:39:18,564 There will be plenty for us to do then. 406 00:39:19,357 --> 00:39:20,482 Doctors. 407 00:39:22,068 --> 00:39:33,787 - Doctor. - Doctor. 408 00:39:33,955 --> 00:39:35,080 - Doctor. - Doctor. 409 00:39:35,248 --> 00:39:36,290 - Doctor. - Doctor. 410 00:39:36,583 --> 00:39:38,333 - Doctor. - Doctor. 411 00:39:40,628 --> 00:39:41,670 We're not doctors. 412 00:39:41,838 --> 00:39:44,965 We've got to get out of this place, immediately, if not sooner. 413 00:39:45,133 --> 00:39:48,010 - No. Not until I've had... - Excuse me. 414 00:39:49,387 --> 00:39:50,679 Her. 415 00:39:50,847 --> 00:39:55,059 - Am I interrupting? - No! Not at all. He was just on his way out. 416 00:39:59,147 --> 00:40:02,066 What happens when the real Brownbridge and Greenbridge come? 417 00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:07,863 - Dr. Trowbridge. - Where? 418 00:40:08,031 --> 00:40:09,573 Oh! Right. 419 00:40:10,784 --> 00:40:14,078 - Make yourself comfortable. Sit down. - Thank you. 420 00:40:27,884 --> 00:40:29,343 What can I do for you? 421 00:40:29,552 --> 00:40:32,221 Dr. Trowbridge... May I call you Homer? 422 00:40:32,430 --> 00:40:34,848 - Why? - Well, that's your name. 423 00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:38,852 Oh! Right! Homer. Of course. What's your name? 424 00:40:39,104 --> 00:40:41,522 - Karen. - Karen. 425 00:40:42,607 --> 00:40:46,485 Dr. Trowbridge... Homer, when you walked into this tent... 426 00:40:46,694 --> 00:40:49,738 it was the most exciting moment of my life. 427 00:40:50,782 --> 00:40:51,782 Well, you just wait. 428 00:40:52,033 --> 00:40:54,952 You're a hero of mine. I've read all your papers. 429 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:56,411 How did you get my papers? 430 00:40:56,579 --> 00:40:58,122 Oh, you mean my medical papers. Right. 431 00:40:59,582 --> 00:41:03,001 - Are you making fun of me? - Oh, Karen. Our first fight. 432 00:41:03,211 --> 00:41:05,796 You might think l'm silly to worship you the way l do... 433 00:41:05,964 --> 00:41:08,173 but in my estimation, you're a genius. 434 00:41:09,217 --> 00:41:12,636 "Genius" is a pretty strong word, but if you insist on using it... 435 00:41:12,804 --> 00:41:13,887 l can handle it. 436 00:41:14,055 --> 00:41:17,182 In fact, I hesitate to mention my problem. 437 00:41:17,392 --> 00:41:19,810 It's a task hardly worthy of your abilities. 438 00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:23,021 No. Go ahead and mention it, really. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. 439 00:41:23,189 --> 00:41:27,776 It's the khan's brother. He's been suffering from pain in the right lower abdomen. 440 00:41:27,986 --> 00:41:31,196 - Obviously an inflamed appendix. - Obviously. 441 00:41:31,406 --> 00:41:34,825 Dr. Hadley was going to remove it, but now that you're here... 442 00:41:34,993 --> 00:41:38,412 I mean, just to see you perform even the most simple surgery... 443 00:41:38,580 --> 00:41:41,039 would be one of the great thrills of my life. 444 00:41:41,249 --> 00:41:44,626 I'd really rather not. I don't have my instruments with me. Ahem. 445 00:41:44,878 --> 00:41:48,005 Use Dr. Hadley's. Please, Homer. 446 00:41:48,256 --> 00:41:51,925 The khan's brother is being prepped now. If you refuse to do this... 447 00:41:52,093 --> 00:41:55,053 the khan will lose faith in you, and us. 448 00:41:55,263 --> 00:41:57,764 The consequences could be severe. 449 00:41:59,809 --> 00:42:02,060 I see. Well... 450 00:42:02,604 --> 00:42:04,646 The truth is l am a great surgeon. 451 00:42:05,273 --> 00:42:09,276 But, alas, l recently suffered severe nerve damage in my left hand. 452 00:42:09,485 --> 00:42:11,570 Oh, my God! 453 00:42:13,072 --> 00:42:16,116 Look at that. No feeling at all. 454 00:42:16,451 --> 00:42:17,701 Dead. 455 00:42:17,911 --> 00:42:21,747 - How did that happen? - l was lifting a car off a child. 456 00:42:21,956 --> 00:42:23,790 It was a big car, a Cadillac. 457 00:42:24,876 --> 00:42:29,922 I'm so disappointed. And the khan, he'll be very suspicious. 458 00:42:31,090 --> 00:42:34,468 - My God. - Oh, there, there, there. 459 00:42:35,178 --> 00:42:37,971 You know. Actually, I could operate without my hands. 460 00:42:38,139 --> 00:42:39,598 Dr. Greenbaum could be my hands. 461 00:42:39,766 --> 00:42:42,100 I could tell him what to do, and he'd do it for me. 462 00:42:42,268 --> 00:42:46,438 - Then you'd get a chance see me in action. - That would be wonderful. 463 00:42:47,482 --> 00:42:52,152 Of course, after I guide Dr. Greenbaum through an operation, I get very depressed... 464 00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:54,947 because I couldn't do it myself. You know. 465 00:42:55,615 --> 00:42:57,282 It's a very bad time for me. 466 00:42:57,700 --> 00:43:00,827 Don't you worry. I'll be with you. 467 00:43:04,999 --> 00:43:06,458 Give me a break. 468 00:43:10,505 --> 00:43:12,256 About an hour? 469 00:43:12,507 --> 00:43:13,966 Fine. An hour. 470 00:43:16,219 --> 00:43:17,344 Thank you. 471 00:43:17,512 --> 00:43:19,846 - Bye. - Bye. 472 00:43:23,309 --> 00:43:25,936 You're good with tools, aren't you? Devices, instruments? 473 00:43:26,104 --> 00:43:28,522 What? You kidding? You're talking to Millbarge here. 474 00:43:28,690 --> 00:43:31,233 You want something converted, built, repaired, modified. 475 00:43:31,401 --> 00:43:32,818 You're talking to Mr. Hands. 476 00:43:36,281 --> 00:43:38,907 Ah. Oh. Mind if I play through? 477 00:43:42,078 --> 00:43:45,872 Doctor. Doctor. Ha. Glad I'm not sick. 478 00:43:55,425 --> 00:43:58,385 If anything happens to him, my people will be angry. 479 00:43:59,095 --> 00:44:04,057 To die in battle is glorious. To die in a tent is disgrace. 480 00:44:04,726 --> 00:44:07,352 And with that, I give you Dr. Julius Greenbaum. 481 00:44:08,313 --> 00:44:09,730 Thank you, doctor. 482 00:44:09,897 --> 00:44:12,065 I'll just step out for a smoke. 483 00:44:12,233 --> 00:44:13,734 Perhaps I'll stay here. Heh- heh. 484 00:44:14,152 --> 00:44:16,570 Today we will be removing the patient's appendix. 485 00:44:16,779 --> 00:44:20,365 The first step in an operation of this particular type is... 486 00:44:34,547 --> 00:44:36,381 to shave the patient. 487 00:44:42,347 --> 00:44:44,264 Ah. Forget it, get on with it. 488 00:44:46,434 --> 00:44:50,145 We'll skip the shave and go directly to the operation. 489 00:44:50,355 --> 00:44:54,358 The second step in an operation of this type is... 490 00:45:00,365 --> 00:45:02,407 anesthetic. 491 00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:08,663 But can't you tell? He's already been given the required injection of Pentothal. 492 00:45:08,831 --> 00:45:09,873 Of course. 493 00:45:10,041 --> 00:45:14,419 He's already been given the required... injections. 494 00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:17,756 All right. Let us begin the operation. 495 00:45:38,111 --> 00:45:39,653 Thank you, doctor. 496 00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:43,365 And now, the first incision. 497 00:45:52,291 --> 00:45:53,333 Doctor. 498 00:45:53,543 --> 00:45:56,962 Isn't that incision a bit high for an appendix? 499 00:45:57,171 --> 00:46:01,258 Do you wanna do the operation? Fine. You come on up here, and you do it. 500 00:46:01,717 --> 00:46:04,219 - lmhaus. - He was cutting into his chest! 501 00:46:04,387 --> 00:46:06,930 Did you see me cut into his chest? Did I cut his chest? 502 00:46:07,098 --> 00:46:10,183 I was probing to determine muscle tone and skeletal girth. 503 00:46:10,351 --> 00:46:11,893 It's a new technique. 504 00:46:12,061 --> 00:46:15,564 - We mock what we don't understand. - Yeah. 505 00:46:17,191 --> 00:46:19,526 Go ahead, will you? I'm getting hungry. 506 00:46:21,529 --> 00:46:24,030 And now, the first incision. 507 00:46:47,305 --> 00:46:50,390 And now, l will incise. 508 00:46:57,064 --> 00:46:58,732 Cut the sucker. 509 00:47:14,415 --> 00:47:17,042 This man is dead. 510 00:47:50,117 --> 00:47:51,952 Whoa! 511 00:47:52,161 --> 00:47:53,411 Excuse us. 512 00:47:53,955 --> 00:47:55,121 Thank you. 513 00:48:39,834 --> 00:48:41,209 Whoa- oh! 514 00:48:51,012 --> 00:48:52,387 Ah! 515 00:49:01,981 --> 00:49:03,273 Let me do it! 516 00:49:25,630 --> 00:49:27,339 Emmett! 517 00:49:27,673 --> 00:49:29,549 Help me! 518 00:49:34,972 --> 00:49:36,181 Let go! 519 00:49:37,475 --> 00:49:38,767 Yaah! 520 00:50:28,150 --> 00:50:30,110 The drive-in is closed. 521 00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:33,238 We're with the Ace Tomato Company. 522 00:50:49,714 --> 00:50:53,383 All this cloak and dagger stuff. The military love it. 523 00:50:53,634 --> 00:50:56,469 Christ, will you look at this place? 524 00:51:13,654 --> 00:51:16,030 - Mr. Ruby. - Sir. 525 00:51:16,198 --> 00:51:17,323 Mr. Keyes. 526 00:51:17,491 --> 00:51:21,494 - Yes, sir. - Won't you gentlemen have a Pepsi? 527 00:51:44,143 --> 00:51:46,352 Two Pepsis to go. 528 00:51:54,737 --> 00:51:55,862 Now what? 529 00:51:56,071 --> 00:52:00,867 "Why don't you gentlemen have a Pepsi?" 530 00:52:14,673 --> 00:52:16,132 You do it. 531 00:52:45,329 --> 00:52:46,538 This way, gentlemen. 532 00:52:53,254 --> 00:52:55,004 Welcome to W.A.M.P. 533 00:53:03,430 --> 00:53:06,224 - General Sline, sir. - Yes, sergeant? 534 00:53:06,392 --> 00:53:09,185 It's a collect call from Pakistan for Mr. Ruby. 535 00:53:09,395 --> 00:53:11,896 - A Mr. Fitz-Hume. - Ah! 536 00:53:12,106 --> 00:53:13,106 What? 537 00:53:13,274 --> 00:53:17,569 Folks, sorry. We'll just be another minute. Thank you for your patience. 538 00:53:17,736 --> 00:53:19,362 It's person to person, sir, collect. 539 00:53:19,530 --> 00:53:22,532 They said their contacts tried to kill them and they don't know what to do. 540 00:53:22,700 --> 00:53:26,244 And they told you this over a public phone? 541 00:53:26,412 --> 00:53:29,205 No, sir, the AT&T operator told our operator. 542 00:53:30,583 --> 00:53:33,334 - They're insane. - And apparently roaming free. 543 00:53:33,502 --> 00:53:34,836 He's on line seven, sir. 544 00:53:35,004 --> 00:53:36,629 Get us the hell out of here! 545 00:53:36,797 --> 00:53:39,465 Everything's under control, Mr. Fitz-Hume. 546 00:53:39,925 --> 00:53:41,426 Hold on one moment. 547 00:53:41,677 --> 00:53:43,970 Look, the longer we keep them out in the field... 548 00:53:44,138 --> 00:53:47,473 the more heat we can draw away from the real team. 549 00:53:48,309 --> 00:53:51,436 I agree. Let's send them over the border. 550 00:53:52,438 --> 00:53:55,523 - How do they get there? - That's their problem. 551 00:53:55,733 --> 00:53:57,400 Hello, gentlemen. 552 00:53:58,319 --> 00:54:01,195 Listen, we are organizing a rescue operation for you. 553 00:54:01,447 --> 00:54:04,324 For after you've reached your final objective. 554 00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:06,159 What is our final objective? 555 00:54:06,327 --> 00:54:09,245 Information like that is given out on a need-to-know basis only. 556 00:54:09,455 --> 00:54:12,540 And at this particular time, you do not need to know. 557 00:54:12,750 --> 00:54:15,960 However, we can tell you to make immediately... 558 00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:18,671 for the Soviet Pamir District. 559 00:54:19,965 --> 00:54:23,843 Wait for your next contact on the road to Dushanbe. 560 00:54:28,349 --> 00:54:29,933 The road to Dushanbe? 561 00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:32,435 You practically told them the strike zone. 562 00:54:32,603 --> 00:54:34,604 Listen. Even if they make it there at all... 563 00:54:34,772 --> 00:54:37,523 they'll be plucked by Soviet motorized infantry. 564 00:54:37,691 --> 00:54:41,194 The road to Dushanbe is a heavily traveled military artery. 565 00:54:41,987 --> 00:54:44,155 I guess that takes care of that. 566 00:54:45,366 --> 00:54:47,867 We must make no mistakes this time. 567 00:54:49,078 --> 00:54:52,747 Our whole way of life hangs in the balance, gentlemen. 568 00:54:59,838 --> 00:55:01,214 Pamir? Dushanbe? 569 00:55:01,382 --> 00:55:04,217 - You're sure that's what he said? - Right. 570 00:55:04,677 --> 00:55:08,096 - Those places are in Russia, are they? - And how. 571 00:55:12,518 --> 00:55:14,560 No, thanks. I've already eaten. 572 00:55:14,728 --> 00:55:17,230 How can we get there? It must be 1000 miles from here. 573 00:55:17,398 --> 00:55:20,441 Actually, if this is the lower Kohistan district... 574 00:55:20,609 --> 00:55:23,611 we're only about 150 miles from the Soviet border. 575 00:55:23,821 --> 00:55:25,655 You would have to know that. 576 00:55:26,907 --> 00:55:31,077 Wait a minute. The Soviet border? How do we get across the Soviet border? 577 00:55:31,453 --> 00:55:34,247 We don't shave, sell the ambulance... 578 00:55:34,415 --> 00:55:37,583 sell our clothes, and go native. 581 00:55:51,098 --> 00:55:53,099 How far do we have to go on this bus? 582 00:55:53,267 --> 00:55:55,435 As far as it takes us. 583 00:56:06,113 --> 00:56:08,239 Hey, look! lt's Dr. Boyer! 584 00:56:15,622 --> 00:56:18,332 She's the last person we want to see. 585 00:56:18,751 --> 00:56:20,877 No, she's nice. 587 00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:02,001 - ls this the border? - No. Toll stop. 588 00:57:02,169 --> 00:57:05,588 Hopefully, there won't be any guard posts where we're gonna cross. 589 00:57:08,550 --> 00:57:11,469 Look. Dr. Boyer. 590 00:57:13,514 --> 00:57:15,348 Leave it alone. 591 00:57:24,358 --> 00:57:26,859 I left without saying goodbye. Can you ever forgive me? 592 00:57:30,948 --> 00:57:32,240 Where are you going? 593 00:57:32,407 --> 00:57:34,408 You can't deny what happened back there between us. 594 00:57:34,576 --> 00:57:36,327 Don't touch me. 595 00:57:36,495 --> 00:57:37,703 Come on. 596 00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:41,415 Hyah! 597 00:57:44,837 --> 00:57:46,420 "Don't touch me." 601 00:57:59,393 --> 00:58:02,228 Look at this. This is really neat. 00:58:05,566 --> 00:58:09,277 How do you like that? She lets a little thing like death get in away with romance. 603 00:58:09,444 --> 00:58:13,990 They couldn't have done any better with the khan's brother then we did. They aren't doctors. 604 00:58:14,158 --> 00:58:15,199 What do you mean? 605 00:58:15,367 --> 00:58:18,035 That metal case she was packing on her horse. 606 00:58:18,203 --> 00:58:20,413 - What about it? - lt's a Satscrambler terminal. 607 00:58:20,581 --> 00:58:22,790 Sophisticated system for sending, scrambling... 608 00:58:22,958 --> 00:58:25,251 receiving and unscrambling satellite messages. 609 00:58:25,419 --> 00:58:27,753 So she's a sophisticated woman. 610 00:58:27,963 --> 00:58:30,923 It's a highly classified piece of intelligence hardware. 611 00:58:31,091 --> 00:58:35,761 - So she's a high-class intelligent piece. - Come on, knock it off. 612 00:58:36,305 --> 00:58:39,599 Well, what are you saying? That they're spies like us? 613 00:58:39,808 --> 00:58:42,935 They're spies, but not necessarily on our side. 615 00:58:44,938 --> 00:58:47,523 I think it's our duty as American operatives... 616 00:58:47,733 --> 00:58:50,776 to follow her and find out what she's up to. 617 00:58:50,944 --> 00:58:53,237 - You just want to follow her. - No. 618 00:58:53,447 --> 00:58:55,907 You're thinking with your dick. 619 00:58:56,074 --> 00:58:57,533 They left their Land Rover here. 620 00:58:57,701 --> 00:59:00,786 They're probably headed right for the border at some secret point. 621 00:59:00,954 --> 00:59:02,997 It would save us a lot of trouble. 622 00:59:03,165 --> 00:59:06,375 They do seem to be headed in that general direction. 623 00:59:06,543 --> 00:59:09,879 - Maybe your dick's not so dumb. - Got me through high school. 624 00:59:25,145 --> 00:59:28,064 Do you think those men are following us? 625 00:59:30,859 --> 00:59:34,320 They're most likely Chitrali nomads. Not to worry. 627 00:59:52,673 --> 00:59:55,841 - Did you say sit? - l didn't say sit. 628 00:59:56,343 --> 00:59:59,637 - Did you say sit? - No, I didn't say sit. What... ? 629 01:00:05,978 --> 01:00:07,019 Now what? 631 01:00:08,355 --> 01:00:10,022 I guess we walk. 634 01:00:39,094 --> 01:00:40,886 Why do we have to carry all this stuff? 635 01:00:41,054 --> 01:00:44,640 The Dushanbe road runs across the top of the Pamir mountains, the roof of the world. 636 01:00:44,808 --> 01:00:48,227 It'll be sub-arctic temperatures up there, freezing. You'll thank me. 637 01:00:48,854 --> 01:00:50,396 "You'll thank me." 638 01:01:21,970 --> 01:01:23,012 That's it. 639 01:01:23,472 --> 01:01:25,097 The Dushanbe road... 640 01:01:25,515 --> 01:01:29,018 where we're supposed to meet our contacts. l hope. 641 01:01:35,817 --> 01:01:40,154 Only in so far as it serves to confirm the president's own beliefs. 642 01:01:40,364 --> 01:01:43,157 This is quite an exciting project you've got here, general. 643 01:01:43,367 --> 01:01:45,534 What was the cost of this Star Wars system? 644 01:01:45,702 --> 01:01:47,787 - Just under 60 billion. - Quite a bargain. 645 01:01:47,954 --> 01:01:50,790 Sir. Printout from Gravsat. 646 01:01:51,958 --> 01:01:55,795 Let's see. A transmission from the field, your GLG-20s. 647 01:01:57,297 --> 01:01:59,590 Well, wonderful. They confirm estimated arrival... 648 01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:02,635 at the strike site by 6 p.m. their time tomorrow. 649 01:02:02,803 --> 01:02:05,930 That's 9 a.m. here. Right on schedule. 650 01:02:06,098 --> 01:02:09,225 You can always count on our people. 651 01:02:17,651 --> 01:02:19,110 Well, this is it. 652 01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:22,655 Where are those contacts we heard so much about? 653 01:02:22,823 --> 01:02:25,074 Didn't exactly say where on the road, did they? 654 01:02:25,242 --> 01:02:26,659 No. 655 01:02:27,327 --> 01:02:29,703 Maybe we should start hitchhiking. 656 01:02:29,913 --> 01:02:32,498 We're inside the Soviet Union. 657 01:02:33,625 --> 01:02:38,379 - l wish we hadn't lost Boyer. - They were on horseback. We were on foot! 658 01:02:44,845 --> 01:02:46,846 [SPEAKS IN RUSSlAN] 659 01:02:55,105 --> 01:02:57,022 It's the Tadzhik highway patrol. 660 01:02:57,190 --> 01:02:58,232 [SPEAKS IN RUSSlAN] 661 01:02:58,775 --> 01:03:03,154 They were just sitting there in the dark. They heard our entire conversation. 662 01:03:03,321 --> 01:03:05,114 [SPEAKS IN RUSSlAN] 663 01:03:05,282 --> 01:03:06,699 What are they saying? 664 01:03:06,867 --> 01:03:10,202 He says we needn't bother whispering anymore. 665 01:03:10,704 --> 01:03:12,538 Come on, let's get out of here. 666 01:03:12,747 --> 01:03:16,167 - What do you mean. We try that, they'll cut us down. - We can't just go with them. 667 01:03:16,376 --> 01:03:18,252 What other choice do we have? 668 01:03:18,420 --> 01:03:21,797 If we give ourselves up, the state department can work out an exchange... 669 01:03:21,965 --> 01:03:23,215 to get us home. - Not me! 670 01:03:28,555 --> 01:03:29,805 [SPEAKS IN RUSSlAN] 671 01:03:30,348 --> 01:03:32,057 Hi! Just me. 672 01:03:32,976 --> 01:03:34,977 [SPEAKS IN RUSSlAN] 674 01:03:52,078 --> 01:03:53,871 [SPEAKS IN RUSSlAN] 675 01:03:54,039 --> 01:03:55,998 [SHOUTS IN RUSSlAN] 676 01:03:56,917 --> 01:03:58,876 I was just looking for the Burt Reynolds Theater. 677 01:03:59,044 --> 01:04:00,878 [SHOUTS IN RUSSlAN] 678 01:04:03,298 --> 01:04:05,549 Don't l get a phone call? 679 01:04:14,518 --> 01:04:16,310 And who do you intend to call? 681 01:04:22,943 --> 01:04:25,945 Goddamn it. He gives himself up. 683 01:04:30,534 --> 01:04:33,202 - What's your objective? - My objective? 684 01:04:33,411 --> 01:04:37,790 I object to taking a girl out and buying her dinner and then she won't put out for you. 686 01:04:41,628 --> 01:04:46,632 - Why are you here? - Why am l here? Why are you here? 687 01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:49,927 Why is anybody here? I think it was Jean-Paul Sartre who said.... 688 01:04:50,095 --> 01:04:52,012 How do you spell Sartre? Ow! 689 01:04:52,472 --> 01:04:54,014 And let that be a lesson to you! 690 01:04:54,182 --> 01:04:56,475 Every minute you don't tell us why you're here... 691 01:04:56,643 --> 01:04:58,561 l cut off a finger. 692 01:04:58,728 --> 01:05:01,188 - Mine or yours? - Yours. 693 01:05:01,398 --> 01:05:02,439 Damn! 694 01:05:02,691 --> 01:05:06,193 Oh! Why are you still hitting me? He's gonna cut my fingers off. 695 01:05:06,361 --> 01:05:09,780 - You have 30 seconds. - You're not gonna start hum the Jeopardy theme? 696 01:05:09,990 --> 01:05:13,367 We start with the little one. 697 01:05:13,535 --> 01:05:16,161 All right. All right. I'm an American agent. 698 01:05:16,496 --> 01:05:17,496 And...? 699 01:05:17,664 --> 01:05:19,331 And, uh.... 700 01:05:19,499 --> 01:05:23,210 They sent me here to assassinate your premier. 701 01:05:23,420 --> 01:05:27,798 - l knew it! Pay up comrad. - Let's cut his fingers off anyway. 702 01:05:27,966 --> 01:05:29,675 No. 703 01:05:29,843 --> 01:05:32,886 Let's take him back to headquarters in Moscow. 704 01:05:33,054 --> 01:05:36,265 Good move. Good move. Headquarters. 705 01:05:40,103 --> 01:05:42,563 It shouldn't be much further now. We've made good time. 706 01:05:42,731 --> 01:05:45,524 We'll go on foot from here. 707 01:05:45,692 --> 01:05:49,278 [SHOUTS IN RUSSlAN] 709 01:06:12,218 --> 01:06:15,596 Oh. Ah! Oh! Oh! Oh! 710 01:06:16,181 --> 01:06:17,598 Oh! 712 01:06:26,316 --> 01:06:27,900 Goddamn it! 713 01:06:36,660 --> 01:06:38,410 Huh? Huh! 714 01:06:38,578 --> 01:06:39,787 Ah! Oh! 715 01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:41,747 Oh! Whoa! 716 01:06:45,585 --> 01:06:47,336 Hi. Heh-heh-heh. 717 01:06:47,504 --> 01:06:50,089 How you doing? Remember me? 718 01:06:50,298 --> 01:06:53,509 - What are you doing here? - What are you doing here? 719 01:06:53,718 --> 01:06:56,887 They surprised us. Border troops. 720 01:06:57,097 --> 01:06:58,472 They got my partner. 721 01:06:58,682 --> 01:07:01,266 - Did they get you too? - l'm fine! 722 01:07:01,434 --> 01:07:06,271 No wonder neither of you could do that appendix operation. You're spies like us! 723 01:07:06,439 --> 01:07:10,192 - You mean you're... ? - Austin Millbarge. l'm a GLG-20. 724 01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:12,403 So... 725 01:07:12,570 --> 01:07:16,281 you two are the other GLG-20s. The decoys! 726 01:07:16,491 --> 01:07:18,742 - Decoys?! - Lower your voice. 727 01:07:18,952 --> 01:07:23,247 That's why they rushed us through training, why we were met by the KGB... 728 01:07:23,456 --> 01:07:26,417 why they sent us into enemy hands. - Right. 729 01:07:26,626 --> 01:07:31,255 I am extremely pissed off. My partner and l were set up. 730 01:07:31,464 --> 01:07:35,801 Forget it, that's behind us. Our first priority is to cover those bodies... 731 01:07:35,969 --> 01:07:40,180 establish a new base camp and complete this project. 732 01:07:40,390 --> 01:07:45,602 Project? Listen. Fitz-Hume is in the custody of the Tadzhik highway patrol because of you. 733 01:07:48,690 --> 01:07:52,443 The only project l have to complete is to get my partner out. 734 01:08:09,961 --> 01:08:13,630 Fitz-Hume! Fitz-Hume! 736 01:08:25,977 --> 01:08:27,019 Come on! 737 01:08:27,937 --> 01:08:30,564 Ah! Oh! 738 01:08:38,782 --> 01:08:43,202 - Look at this. Did you do that? - Yeah, I did that for you. 739 01:08:54,380 --> 01:08:55,589 [SHOUTS IN RUSSlAN] 740 01:08:57,342 --> 01:08:59,134 [SPEAKING IN RUSSlAN] 742 01:09:09,646 --> 01:09:14,650 You know, I must really like you because I don't like horses and l hate guns. 743 01:09:23,701 --> 01:09:27,329 [SHOUTING IN RUSSlAN] 744 01:09:34,796 --> 01:09:37,381 - What's this? - You don't want it! 746 01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:50,602 Duck! 747 01:10:05,618 --> 01:10:07,327 I'll get the horse. 748 01:10:19,173 --> 01:10:20,424 Let's go! 749 01:10:23,177 --> 01:10:25,262 Hi-yo, Silver! Away! 750 01:10:35,982 --> 01:10:37,190 Hah! 751 01:10:55,126 --> 01:10:58,128 [THE BAR-KAYS'"SOUL FlNGER" PLAYlNG OVER SPEAKERS] 752 01:11:02,675 --> 01:11:06,511 It's "Soul Finger" by the Bar-kays. 753 01:11:07,388 --> 01:11:09,973 They must be having trouble getting gigs. 755 01:11:24,697 --> 01:11:25,739 Wow. 756 01:11:28,409 --> 01:11:31,495 This is a Soviet ICBM site. 757 01:11:37,043 --> 01:11:41,755 That's an SS-50 long-range rocket and mobile launcher. 758 01:11:46,386 --> 01:11:49,680 They just moved it in here. Haven't even put up their locator beacon. 759 01:11:49,847 --> 01:11:53,767 Means they're not hooked in to Soviet defense chain. They are radio-isolated. 760 01:11:53,977 --> 01:11:55,185 Only three men. 761 01:11:55,353 --> 01:11:57,104 [SPEAKING IN RUSSlAN] 762 01:11:57,355 --> 01:11:58,355 And their mother. 763 01:12:10,576 --> 01:12:11,952 Oh! 764 01:12:15,999 --> 01:12:16,999 Let me see that. 765 01:12:17,750 --> 01:12:18,750 Come on! 766 01:12:29,929 --> 01:12:32,681 Honestly. You two are unbelievable. 767 01:12:33,599 --> 01:12:37,936 - Wait a minute. What are we doing here? - This is our final objective. 768 01:12:38,146 --> 01:12:42,149 Our project orders are to subdue the crew and seize control of this emplacement. 769 01:12:42,316 --> 01:12:46,028 Hold it, sister. We're not going near that thing. That missile is tipped with... 770 01:12:46,195 --> 01:12:48,822 a 40-megaton fishing fusion nuclear warhead. - Good night, everybody. 771 01:12:48,990 --> 01:12:50,782 - Where are you going? - Home. 772 01:12:50,992 --> 01:12:55,120 For once, l am in complete agreement with my friend here. We should all get up and leave this place immediately. 773 01:12:55,288 --> 01:12:56,913 You know what those things can do? 774 01:12:57,081 --> 01:12:59,916 Suck the paint off your house and give your family a permanent orange Afro. 775 01:13:00,084 --> 01:13:04,296 I don't care what you two do, but I'm fulfilling my obligation. 776 01:13:04,464 --> 01:13:08,675 I intend to go down there and seize control of that emplacement alone if I have to. 777 01:13:08,843 --> 01:13:09,968 Oh no, now, wait a minute. 778 01:13:10,136 --> 01:13:13,388 You know we'd do anything for you, but we can't go down there and seize that rocket. 779 01:13:13,556 --> 01:13:17,184 - We'd have to kill everybody down there. - And I'm not killing anybody. 780 01:13:17,518 --> 01:13:19,061 I'm not either. 781 01:13:26,235 --> 01:13:30,197 Gentlemen, l think you both should realize the gravity of this moment. 782 01:13:30,406 --> 01:13:35,327 I've spent the last two and a half years of my life preparing for this penetration. 783 01:13:35,536 --> 01:13:38,497 This afternoon l buried my partner, Jerry Hadley... 784 01:13:38,664 --> 01:13:43,418 perhaps the finest, most dedicated GLG-20 in the history of the service. 785 01:13:43,628 --> 01:13:46,338 He is now forever entombed in a snowy grave. 786 01:13:46,506 --> 01:13:48,423 And it's not going to be for nothing! 787 01:13:49,634 --> 01:13:54,679 We are here today to guarantee the personal freedom of every American. 788 01:13:54,889 --> 01:13:59,810 And we should never forget the words of President John F. Kennedy, who said: 789 01:13:59,977 --> 01:14:02,687 "Ask not what your country can do for you... 790 01:14:02,897 --> 01:14:06,149 but what you can do for your country." 791 01:14:08,903 --> 01:14:10,070 Will you marry me? 792 01:14:18,246 --> 01:14:19,454 Now.... 793 01:14:20,540 --> 01:14:24,000 These are high-compression tranquilizer pistols. 794 01:14:24,168 --> 01:14:26,628 We're not going to kill anybody... 795 01:14:26,963 --> 01:14:30,715 but you've got to get in close to use them. 797 01:14:43,229 --> 01:14:46,481 Hours, T-minus two until designated target apogee. 798 01:14:50,153 --> 01:14:54,030 Sir, all air traffic has been diverted from our response corridor. 799 01:14:54,240 --> 01:14:57,701 What's our present on-line power reading? 800 01:14:58,119 --> 01:15:01,454 Michigan reactor and Washington State atomic plants on-line, general. 801 01:15:03,749 --> 01:15:05,167 Lock us in, sergeant. 802 01:15:13,426 --> 01:15:14,759 W.A.M.P. secure, sir. 803 01:15:16,387 --> 01:15:20,098 All right. Let's go to response level Yellow. 804 01:15:20,391 --> 01:15:22,767 Initiating level Yellow. 806 01:15:52,256 --> 01:15:54,466 Run your full servo and arming. 808 01:16:32,004 --> 01:16:34,422 Servo on and armed. 810 01:16:40,680 --> 01:16:42,681 [SPEAKING IN RUSSlAN] 815 01:17:01,951 --> 01:17:03,576 "Soul Finger." 816 01:17:03,828 --> 01:17:05,453 [THE BAR- KAYS'"SOUL FlNGER" PLAYS] 817 01:17:09,583 --> 01:17:10,792 "Soul Finger." 819 01:17:36,360 --> 01:17:38,361 [SPEAKING IN RUSSlAN] 820 01:17:49,790 --> 01:17:51,374 What's she saying? 821 01:17:52,084 --> 01:17:54,461 Hair.... Hairbrush.... Headrest. 822 01:17:54,920 --> 01:17:57,130 Jesus, where'd you learn your Russian, J.C. Penney? 823 01:17:57,298 --> 01:17:59,299 [SPEAKING IN RUSSlAN] 824 01:18:04,972 --> 01:18:08,266 When she was a child in Lithuania, her uncle used to tell a story... 825 01:18:08,434 --> 01:18:12,687 about strange beings that came down from a disk and stole an ox... 826 01:18:12,897 --> 01:18:16,358 which the village had put aside for roasting. 827 01:18:16,567 --> 01:18:19,986 I told you it would work. Everybody knows about UFOs. 828 01:18:20,196 --> 01:18:23,656 Apparently the aliens from the silver disk dissected the ox... 829 01:18:23,824 --> 01:18:26,368 and kept the best pieces of meat for themselves. 830 01:18:26,577 --> 01:18:28,828 So what? So we owe them a cow. 831 01:18:30,206 --> 01:18:32,540 Where do we get one? 833 01:18:58,317 --> 01:18:59,484 [SPEAKS IN RUSSlAN] 834 01:19:05,199 --> 01:19:06,491 Do what I do. 838 01:19:39,608 --> 01:19:42,277 Satscram signal from the strike site. 839 01:19:42,486 --> 01:19:45,947 Your GLG-20s have penetrated successfully and are awaiting the go-code. 840 01:19:46,115 --> 01:19:49,033 Open and lock down ground deflectors. 841 01:20:25,529 --> 01:20:27,697 Ground deflectors opened and locked. 843 01:20:41,921 --> 01:20:45,673 - Okay, Dostoyevsky, what does it say? - lt says: 844 01:20:45,883 --> 01:20:47,884 "Approach SS-50... 845 01:20:48,093 --> 01:20:51,638 source programmable rocket." 846 01:20:59,438 --> 01:21:00,688 Easy. 847 01:21:00,898 --> 01:21:05,568 "Find control box at front of transporter." 848 01:21:08,864 --> 01:21:10,365 This is a snap. 849 01:21:10,783 --> 01:21:14,494 "For erector panel, push red button." 852 01:21:27,258 --> 01:21:29,175 "Depress red key switch. 853 01:21:30,636 --> 01:21:33,137 - Enter first numbered sequence." - Go. 854 01:21:33,472 --> 01:21:34,806 "Three- three-nine... 855 01:21:36,141 --> 01:21:38,142 dash two-five-nine... 856 01:21:39,103 --> 01:21:40,186 dash six. 857 01:21:42,606 --> 01:21:45,316 Acknowledge compliance on Satscram now." 858 01:21:45,484 --> 01:21:48,611 GLG-20s acknowledge programming and compliance. 859 01:21:48,821 --> 01:21:51,322 Bring all birds into final bounce mode. 860 01:22:53,886 --> 01:22:55,720 Bounce mode engaged. 861 01:22:57,264 --> 01:22:59,390 Send them the go-code. 862 01:23:13,280 --> 01:23:16,240 "Go with numbered sequence, seven-four... 863 01:23:17,326 --> 01:23:19,410 dash seven-four... 864 01:23:19,662 --> 01:23:21,746 dash eight-eight-three... 865 01:23:21,914 --> 01:23:24,040 dash five, dash three." 867 01:23:36,929 --> 01:23:38,805 [SPEAKS IN RUSSlAN] 868 01:24:28,814 --> 01:24:32,066 SAC-COM confirms an outbound blip from Soviet Central Asia. 869 01:24:32,985 --> 01:24:34,068 It's on its way. 870 01:24:34,278 --> 01:24:37,780 Override all SAC alerts with stand-down orders for 10 minutes. 871 01:24:39,324 --> 01:24:41,242 SAC override code, entered. 872 01:24:41,493 --> 01:24:43,327 Error. Stand down. 873 01:25:15,152 --> 01:25:17,195 I think we just started World War lIl. 874 01:25:17,404 --> 01:25:21,199 [SPEAKING IN RUSSlAN] 875 01:25:21,408 --> 01:25:23,993 She wants to know why we would do such a thing. 876 01:25:27,164 --> 01:25:28,581 Tell her so do we. 877 01:25:29,458 --> 01:25:31,459 [SPEAKING IN RUSSlAN] 879 01:25:42,179 --> 01:25:44,889 - What are they saying? - lt's 4:47 a.m. 880 01:25:45,140 --> 01:25:48,976 They're saying it'll be 28 minutes before the rocket detonates above its target... 881 01:25:49,144 --> 01:25:51,562 somewhere inside the continental United States. 882 01:25:56,068 --> 01:25:59,779 Let's see, 28 minutes. That's 18 until it's inside the U.S. radar cup. 883 01:25:59,988 --> 01:26:04,408 Figure two for our response, say 20 until total commitment. 884 01:26:04,618 --> 01:26:09,080 Figure 20, 22 until the first impact of our retaliatory strike. 885 01:26:09,289 --> 01:26:13,626 I figure we have 42 minutes until the end of civilization as we know it. 886 01:26:17,965 --> 01:26:21,551 - You want to go out with a bang? - l beg your pardon? 887 01:26:22,761 --> 01:26:23,970 Just an idea. 888 01:26:24,221 --> 01:26:27,974 You know, if we were sitting in a bar, I'd throw a drink right in your face. 889 01:26:32,604 --> 01:26:34,814 But under the circumstances... 890 01:26:35,023 --> 01:26:36,858 it's not such a bad idea. 891 01:26:49,079 --> 01:26:51,080 [SPEAKS IN RUSSlAN] 895 01:28:17,793 --> 01:28:19,460 Release full pulse. 896 01:28:20,087 --> 01:28:21,087 Three... 897 01:28:22,130 --> 01:28:23,631 two... 898 01:28:24,299 --> 01:28:25,299 one. 899 01:28:25,550 --> 01:28:26,550 Mark. 901 01:28:37,604 --> 01:28:40,648 Bounce pulse failed to connect with target, sir. 902 01:28:41,316 --> 01:28:44,068 - Just what are you saying, soldier? - We missed it, sir. 903 01:28:44,236 --> 01:28:46,570 - What? - We missed the rocket. lt didn't work. 904 01:28:48,615 --> 01:28:51,409 Didn't work? Where did the pulse go? 905 01:28:51,618 --> 01:28:54,578 Don't know, sir, but it definitely didn't connect with the inbound traffic. 907 01:29:04,256 --> 01:29:06,549 - Wow. - Excellent! 908 01:29:10,887 --> 01:29:13,597 - We'd better call the president. - We're not calling anyone. 909 01:29:13,765 --> 01:29:15,766 What do you mean, we're not calling anyone? 910 01:29:15,934 --> 01:29:19,645 The president must know that this attack was not initiated by the Soviet Union. 911 01:29:23,775 --> 01:29:26,444 We are prepared for this contingency. 912 01:29:27,112 --> 01:29:28,904 What in hell do you intend to do? 913 01:29:29,072 --> 01:29:30,614 You understand, sir... 914 01:29:30,782 --> 01:29:34,577 that we are responsible for launching a nuclear weapon against our own country! 915 01:29:34,745 --> 01:29:38,289 No one outside this command center has that information, gentlemen. 916 01:29:38,749 --> 01:29:41,625 When we commissioned the Schmectel Corporation to research... 917 01:29:41,793 --> 01:29:45,046 this precise event-sequence scenario, it was determined... 918 01:29:45,213 --> 01:29:48,841 that the continual stockpiling and development of our nuclear arsenal... 919 01:29:49,051 --> 01:29:54,305 was becoming self- defeating. A weapon unused is a useless weapon. 920 01:29:54,765 --> 01:29:57,683 SAC-COM confirms. All defense systems commitment ready. 921 01:29:57,893 --> 01:30:01,979 We have verification. The president is aboard the airborne command center now. 922 01:30:03,356 --> 01:30:08,486 I'm sure it will only be a matter of minutes before the president commits to total release. 923 01:30:11,406 --> 01:30:13,574 Jesus Christ. 924 01:30:18,497 --> 01:30:23,793 You see, we had to show that we had the technical capability... 925 01:30:24,377 --> 01:30:25,878 and were determined. 926 01:30:27,506 --> 01:30:32,510 History demonstrates conclusively that naive wishing for peace... 927 01:30:33,011 --> 01:30:37,223 is the surest possible way to encourage an aggressor. 928 01:30:37,390 --> 01:30:40,101 I demand you place me in immediate communication with the president! 929 01:30:40,268 --> 01:30:43,687 Relax, Mr. Ruby. This facility is more than adequately stocked... 930 01:30:43,897 --> 01:30:46,816 for a comfortable 17 months of below-ground existence. 931 01:30:47,025 --> 01:30:48,234 We'll be fine. 932 01:30:48,485 --> 01:30:51,862 By your actions, sir, you are risking the future of the human race! 933 01:30:53,365 --> 01:30:56,450 To guarantee the American way of life... 934 01:30:57,285 --> 01:31:00,079 l'm willing to take that risk. 935 01:31:10,715 --> 01:31:14,218 Hard to believe it's been only 15 minutes since l destroyed the world. 936 01:31:15,220 --> 01:31:17,930 In another 15 minutes, it'll all be over. 937 01:31:18,306 --> 01:31:21,058 Such a short time to destroy a world. 938 01:31:21,518 --> 01:31:25,729 And to think my high school guidance counselor said l'd never amount to anything. 939 01:31:25,939 --> 01:31:27,439 It just goes to show... 940 01:31:27,649 --> 01:31:30,526 Guidance? Source Programmable guidance! 941 01:31:30,986 --> 01:31:34,488 Fitz-Hume! Boyer! Get up! Get up! 943 01:31:39,536 --> 01:31:42,163 Come on! Come on! 944 01:31:43,498 --> 01:31:46,458 Fitz-Hume! Boyer! 946 01:31:50,380 --> 01:31:52,131 [SPEAKS IN RUSSlAN] 947 01:31:54,050 --> 01:31:55,718 Wait a minute. What's going on here? 948 01:31:55,969 --> 01:31:58,596 - You have a tent? - Bring me the Satscram dish. 949 01:31:58,805 --> 01:32:00,097 I think we can recall it. 950 01:32:00,265 --> 01:32:02,766 What do you mean recall it? You mean like a defective Pinto? 951 01:32:02,976 --> 01:32:04,685 [SPEAKING IN RUSSlAN] 952 01:32:05,812 --> 01:32:08,772 Take this up. Up. Climb! Uh... 953 01:32:08,940 --> 01:32:10,649 [SPEAKING IN RUSSlAN] 954 01:32:10,817 --> 01:32:13,652 Grab a rock! Grab a hammer! We can divert it! 955 01:32:13,820 --> 01:32:17,323 It's made to respond to in-flight commands through their sat-relay network. 956 01:32:17,490 --> 01:32:20,451 - Here's a rock. - Go to the Satscram terminal. 957 01:32:22,495 --> 01:32:24,371 - Now what? - Smash that thing. 959 01:32:29,461 --> 01:32:31,629 - lt's broken. - Bring it here. 960 01:32:31,838 --> 01:32:33,088 Not the rock. 961 01:32:36,801 --> 01:32:38,886 What's the use? It's probably all over anyway. 962 01:32:39,054 --> 01:32:42,473 No, no, no. All we have to do is switch sending boards. 963 01:32:45,644 --> 01:32:49,438 Boyer, start sending the launch sequence in reverse order. 964 01:32:49,856 --> 01:32:50,856 Yes, sir. 965 01:32:58,031 --> 01:33:01,617 Fitz-Hume, hold these together. 966 01:33:02,118 --> 01:33:04,995 I've got to make the splice. Hold it together. 967 01:33:05,538 --> 01:33:07,831 - Ow! l got a shock. - And you will. 968 01:33:07,999 --> 01:33:11,001 I don't care how painful it is, you've got to hold them together. 969 01:33:11,169 --> 01:33:12,836 You are the circuit bridge. 970 01:33:13,088 --> 01:33:15,714 - But, but, but... - l need.... 971 01:33:16,383 --> 01:33:17,508 Bigger than a bread box? 972 01:33:17,676 --> 01:33:20,844 - l need.... - The title of a movie? 973 01:33:24,182 --> 01:33:27,351 Animals in their natural habitats? Book title? Things that are round? 974 01:33:27,519 --> 01:33:30,145 Things that are square. Things that are being electrocuted? 975 01:33:30,313 --> 01:33:32,231 - Got it! - Ah! 976 01:33:41,700 --> 01:33:44,702 Miles: Five... 977 01:33:44,911 --> 01:33:45,911 zero... 978 01:33:46,705 --> 01:33:47,746 zero... 979 01:33:56,381 --> 01:33:58,257 - We did it! - We did? 980 01:33:58,883 --> 01:33:59,925 We did it! 981 01:34:02,595 --> 01:34:04,513 Can l borrow your tent? 982 01:34:05,515 --> 01:34:09,101 SAC-COM confirms destruction of the inbound at Zulu 3000 hours. 983 01:34:09,269 --> 01:34:12,187 - What about the rest of their inbounds? - There are none, sir. 984 01:34:12,397 --> 01:34:15,774 Both the U.S. and Soviet response chain on full recall. 985 01:34:16,693 --> 01:34:19,653 Damn. Recall. 986 01:34:43,928 --> 01:34:46,889 - Place them under arrest. All of them. - Wait! 987 01:34:47,098 --> 01:34:49,683 - We don't know these men. - Oh! We were kidnapped! 988 01:34:49,893 --> 01:34:52,311 - That's right! Kidnapped! - We were! 989 01:34:52,520 --> 01:34:54,063 We were at the drive-in! 990 01:34:54,481 --> 01:34:58,901 As the disarmament talks here continue through closed sessions... 991 01:34:59,069 --> 01:35:02,738 last night and on into this afternoon, a feeling of positive anticipation... 992 01:35:02,947 --> 01:35:04,990 is shared by everyone in the press corps. 993 01:35:07,452 --> 01:35:09,536 The doors to the conference room are opening. 994 01:35:09,746 --> 01:35:13,707 l see the chief United States delegate, Mr. Emmett Fitz-Hume. 995 01:35:14,501 --> 01:35:16,585 - Mr. Fitz-Hume. - Hi, Ed. 996 01:35:16,795 --> 01:35:21,715 Everybody at home is most anxious to know how things are going in there. 997 01:35:21,925 --> 01:35:24,802 Well, Ed, right now we're at an extremely sensitive juncture. 998 01:35:24,969 --> 01:35:28,514 And of course, the slightest misperceived phrase or gesture... 999 01:35:28,723 --> 01:35:31,058 could upset everything we've achieved today. 1000 01:35:31,267 --> 01:35:34,436 - Now, if you'll excuse me, Ed. - Thank you, Mr. Fitz-Hume. 1001 01:35:34,646 --> 01:35:35,813 Thank you, Ed. 1002 01:35:35,980 --> 01:35:38,982 Mr. Emmett Fitz-Hume, chief state department negotiator... 1003 01:35:39,150 --> 01:35:42,486 here at the disarmament talks, re-entering what he has called... 1004 01:35:42,654 --> 01:35:44,988 the "delicately balanced negotiations." 1005 01:35:48,451 --> 01:35:50,202 Comrade! 1006 01:35:53,164 --> 01:35:54,623 Okay. 1007 01:35:54,916 --> 01:36:00,170 "What Little Richard song was the title of a 1950s movie... 1008 01:36:00,630 --> 01:36:03,424 starring Jayne Mansfield?" 1009 01:36:12,100 --> 01:36:14,393 "Good Golly Miss Molly"? 1010 01:36:16,688 --> 01:36:18,021 "Great Balls of Fire"? 1011 01:36:18,231 --> 01:36:20,691 Wrong! lt was "The Girl Can't Help lt." 1012 01:36:22,193 --> 01:36:24,153 - Sorry. You lose. - Eastern Europe. 1013 01:36:24,362 --> 01:36:25,863 Eastern Europe.