1
00:00:26,083 --> 00:00:28,041
(man tapping microphone)
Testing, testing.

2
00:00:28,041 --> 00:00:31,208
Significance, harms, inherenc,
topicality, solvency.

3
00:00:31,208 --> 00:00:32,875
(people chattering)

4
00:00:32,875 --> 00:00:34,125
♪ ♪

5
00:00:34,125 --> 00:00:37,625
Quiet, please.
Cell phones off, please.

6
00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:49,125
Man: Judges ready?

7
00:00:49,125 --> 00:00:51,000
Timer ready?

8
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,333
The affirmative
will please begin.

9
00:00:52,333 --> 00:00:55,625
(students chattering,
cheering)

10
00:00:58,834 --> 00:01:00,583
Boy:
Whoo! Farming subsidies!

11
00:01:06,625 --> 00:01:08,917
It will come
as no surprise
to the judges,

12
00:01:08,917 --> 00:01:11,667
our esteemed opponents
from Townsend Prep, nor really
to anyone at all

13
00:01:11,667 --> 00:01:13,792
in the audience,
that we, the affirmative
from Plainsboro High,

14
00:01:13,792 --> 00:01:16,875
do hereby support
this year's national
policy debate resolution,

15
00:01:16,875 --> 00:01:20,000
which I am supposed
to recite now, as if after
an entire school year

16
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,208
it could still somehow
be unknown to any of us.

17
00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:24,875
That is ridiculous.
Therefore, instead of
senselessly repeating it,

18
00:01:24,875 --> 00:01:27,667
I will offer up
a moment of silence during
which I'd like every one of you

19
00:01:27,667 --> 00:01:31,458
to say the resolution aloud.
It will be a final communal
act for all of us,

20
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:34,166
the High School Policy
debaters of New Jersey.
Ready, set, go.

21
00:01:34,166 --> 00:01:37,834
Students: Resolved--
For those of you who aren't
done, I apologize,

22
00:01:37,834 --> 00:01:39,834
but there's
a reason why I'm up here
and you're down there,

23
00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:42,834
and if you please, right now,
we're going to go at my pace.
Hang on if you can.

24
00:01:42,834 --> 00:01:45,208
Our plan today is succinct.
Only by becoming a fully
socialist regime,

25
00:01:45,208 --> 00:01:47,166
will the United States
government ever emerge
as the true moral leader

26
00:01:47,166 --> 00:01:49,000
of the free world, and thus
create a lasting peace.

27
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,166
Therefore we support an
amendment to the Constitution
of the United States

28
00:01:51,166 --> 00:01:53,667
to outlaw all political parties
that do not embrace Socialism
as their core philosophy...

29
00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:55,417
Narrator:
On the stage
of the New Jersey State

30
00:01:55,417 --> 00:01:57,834
High School Policy
Debate Championships

31
00:01:57,834 --> 00:02:00,875
that spring night
stood Ben Wekselbaum

32
00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:03,208
of Plainsboro High.

33
00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:05,000
To anyone
who ever heard Ben debate

34
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,458
there was one thing
that was undeniable:

35
00:02:08,458 --> 00:02:10,959
he had a voice.

36
00:02:10,959 --> 00:02:12,708
Even then,
on that May night,

37
00:02:12,708 --> 00:02:13,917
a real voice.

38
00:02:13,917 --> 00:02:15,708
(gasps)
You're all wondering,
"When on earth

39
00:02:15,708 --> 00:02:17,959
is he going to get
to farming subsidies?" At long
last the link to farming,

40
00:02:17,959 --> 00:02:19,708
which is no doubt
obvious by now.

41
00:02:19,708 --> 00:02:21,917
Agricultural societies collapse
under Capitalism and thrive
under Socialism.

42
00:02:21,917 --> 00:02:23,959
And agriculture has always
been a necessary industry.

43
00:02:23,959 --> 00:02:26,834
Without agriculture...
Narrator:
As Ben Wekselbaum

44
00:02:26,834 --> 00:02:28,792
set out the complexities
of their plan,

45
00:02:28,792 --> 00:02:31,875
his partner
was biding her time,

46
00:02:31,875 --> 00:02:33,875
picturing how
it would look up there--

47
00:02:33,875 --> 00:02:38,583
the only trophy missing
from her crowded,
gleaming shelf.

48
00:02:38,583 --> 00:02:42,875
One team on the affirmative,
arguing for the resolution.

49
00:02:42,875 --> 00:02:45,750
The other on the negative,
tearing it down.

50
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:48,959
This year's national resolution
is specifically about farming
subsidies, not socialism.

51
00:02:48,959 --> 00:02:51,583
By overstepping
the resolution, they haven't
met their prima facie  burden

52
00:02:51,583 --> 00:02:53,750
to defend said resolution
and should be considered
untopical.

53
00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:56,542
Subsidies are at their heart
an extension of Socialism--
that's from Gutierrez, '03.

54
00:02:56,542 --> 00:02:59,000
That the negative team has
no legitimate arguments against
Socialism isn't our fault.

55
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,125
They didn't penetrate
the subject as deeply
as they should have.

56
00:03:01,125 --> 00:03:03,333
To suggest
that we haven't refuted
the very basis of socialism

57
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:04,708
is fallacious and specious.

58
00:03:04,708 --> 00:03:07,333
I refer you again
to the quotes my partner
read regarding...

59
00:03:07,333 --> 00:03:09,250
Narrator:
And so it goes.
The high school debate,

60
00:03:09,250 --> 00:03:12,542
like the war that rips
through your city and ravages
everything in its path;

61
00:03:12,542 --> 00:03:16,542
kids wielding words like
weapons and brandishing
ideas like axes.

62
00:03:16,542 --> 00:03:19,583
Nothing else mattered
in that final round.

63
00:03:19,583 --> 00:03:21,750
There was no world
beyond it.

64
00:03:23,208 --> 00:03:24,792
Except that 46 miles away

65
00:03:24,792 --> 00:03:29,125
Hal Hefner was at home--
just sitting at home

66
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:31,917
like nothing
or none of New Jersey

67
00:03:31,917 --> 00:03:33,458
was burning around him.

68
00:03:33,458 --> 00:03:34,959
Man:
We're gonna have
to break up the set.

69
00:03:34,959 --> 00:03:36,750
What am I gonna do?
Put it all in a garbage bag?

70
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,291
My stuff's not gonna
fit in a garbage bag.

71
00:03:38,291 --> 00:03:40,542
Woman: Yeah, put
it in a garbage bag!
Here, keep the deodorant.

72
00:03:40,542 --> 00:03:43,375
Why don't you go down
to the basement? There's
another set down there.

73
00:03:43,375 --> 00:03:45,041
Quit slamming the drawers.

74
00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:46,917
Man: Oh, come on!
You're gonna break
the drawers.

75
00:03:46,917 --> 00:03:49,583
Give me a break.
I'm taking this.
I hope you don't mind,

76
00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:51,250
because you took
everything else of mine.

77
00:03:51,250 --> 00:03:55,500
Narrator:
On that May night Hal Hefner
had hardly a voice at all.

78
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,375
(softly) Charlotte.
(dog barks)

79
00:03:57,375 --> 00:04:00,333
Man: Could you not do that?
Because I may have to come back
and get some stuff.

80
00:04:00,333 --> 00:04:01,792
Man: See ya.
Woman: No, no.

81
00:04:01,792 --> 00:04:04,083
Don't take that bag!

82
00:04:06,291 --> 00:04:10,375
Hey, Hal.
Earl, I'm--

83
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:14,333
I'm taking these.
I am not going to be
living here anymore,

84
00:04:14,333 --> 00:04:18,333
and that's why I'm--
I'm taking the suitcases.

85
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:19,708
Woman:
It's a set, Doyle.

86
00:04:19,708 --> 00:04:22,834
Just leave the big bag
with the rest of the set.

87
00:04:22,834 --> 00:04:25,333
Lord, this is so you!

88
00:04:31,792 --> 00:04:33,208
Here's your suitcase.

89
00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:35,291
(yells)

90
00:04:40,542 --> 00:04:42,792
(sighs)

91
00:04:42,792 --> 00:04:45,542
You guys are going
to be all right.

92
00:04:45,542 --> 00:04:46,834
And I'll--

93
00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:50,834
I'll see you
sometime soon.

94
00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:52,959
I don't know
what else to say.

95
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:56,000
I can't put it into words.

96
00:05:04,667 --> 00:05:06,875
♪ ♪

97
00:05:06,875 --> 00:05:08,959
(Ben talking faintly, rapidly)

98
00:05:08,959 --> 00:05:12,041
Narrator:
Back on the stage
of the state championships,

99
00:05:12,041 --> 00:05:14,166
the night at last
revealed itself

100
00:05:14,166 --> 00:05:16,208
as not just any night,

101
00:05:16,208 --> 00:05:20,375
but as "the" night.
The night when it all began.

102
00:05:20,375 --> 00:05:24,000
Ben Wekselbaum, the best voice
to ever debate for PHS,

103
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,583
Plainsboro High,

104
00:05:25,583 --> 00:05:27,917
according to anyone
who ever heard him--

105
00:05:27,917 --> 00:05:30,041
that Ben Wekselbaum,

106
00:05:30,041 --> 00:05:31,708
he just went quiet.

107
00:05:31,708 --> 00:05:34,333
Our next advantage basically
says that human relations
can only thrive

108
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:36,125
in an atmosphere
of total equality.

109
00:05:36,125 --> 00:05:38,291
That human relations
can only exist...

110
00:05:41,625 --> 00:05:43,959
Sorry, I just said that.

111
00:05:43,959 --> 00:05:46,083
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

112
00:06:00,041 --> 00:06:04,583
♪ ♪

113
00:06:07,208 --> 00:06:08,417
Ben?

114
00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:21,000
Narrator:
46 miles apart,
at the very same moment,

115
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,125
all the arguments stopped.

116
00:06:25,166 --> 00:06:29,458
So there was
this bridge of silence
spanning New Jersey.

117
00:06:30,959 --> 00:06:33,792
No shouting
from Hal's parents,

118
00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:35,959
no debating, no voice.

119
00:06:35,959 --> 00:06:38,125
No one's voice at all.

120
00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:42,959
(Ben's partner crying)

121
00:06:45,792 --> 00:06:49,792
Narrator:
That year's national debate
topic was farming subsidies.

122
00:06:49,792 --> 00:06:53,917
And if you don't know
how farming subsidies could
inspire all this commotion,

123
00:06:53,917 --> 00:06:55,417
then you don't know life

124
00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:58,166
and there's nothing
that can be said about it.

125
00:06:58,166 --> 00:07:02,667
Suitcases end marriages
and farming subsidies
launch cataclysms.

126
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,708
(engine starts)

127
00:07:15,750 --> 00:07:18,834
Can a voice travel
from one person to another,

128
00:07:18,834 --> 00:07:21,458
like yawning or mono?

129
00:07:21,458 --> 00:07:23,667
(thuds)

130
00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:26,083
Sure it can.
That's our position:

131
00:07:26,083 --> 00:07:28,750
That the will to speak
traveled that night

132
00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:31,542
across the dark
New Jersey highways

133
00:07:31,542 --> 00:07:34,291
until it arrived
on this very block,

134
00:07:34,291 --> 00:07:36,959
where it would
take up residence,

135
00:07:36,959 --> 00:07:40,083
or try to,
in someone new.

136
00:07:41,375 --> 00:07:43,875
♪ ♪

137
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,041
(car horn blares)

138
00:08:07,041 --> 00:08:09,750
Earl:
Gladys, let's go!

139
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:12,208
Timeliness is
an important part of it.

140
00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:15,834
Heston.
Earl.

141
00:08:22,917 --> 00:08:26,000
(muttering)
I'll just have the--
just the--

142
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,083
just the--
just the--

143
00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:31,375
just the pizza, thanks.

144
00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:34,417
Thank you.

145
00:08:37,291 --> 00:08:39,500
(kids chatting)

146
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:42,250
Teacher:
What kind of a name
is O. Henry?

147
00:08:49,792 --> 00:08:51,959
Not a pseudonym
that we all know,

148
00:08:51,959 --> 00:08:54,542
but...?

149
00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:57,917
How about
nom de plume?

150
00:08:57,917 --> 00:09:00,291
Does nom de plume
sound right?

151
00:09:00,291 --> 00:09:03,458
It sounds right to me.
It was toward the end
of the reading

152
00:09:03,458 --> 00:09:06,083
that no one seems
to have completed.

153
00:09:06,083 --> 00:09:08,625
Open your books
to page 248.

154
00:09:08,625 --> 00:09:11,500
Let's do the reading
that should have been
done last night.

155
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,417
(chatter)
Woman: Fish or pizza?

156
00:09:13,417 --> 00:09:15,667
Girl:
Yeah, I'll have the pizza.

157
00:09:15,667 --> 00:09:17,917
(mutters) Pizza. Pizza.

158
00:09:20,583 --> 00:09:22,333
Fish or pizza?

159
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:23,792
I'll have the--

160
00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:27,625
The pizza's plain or pep.

161
00:09:27,625 --> 00:09:29,959
Fish is-- not sure.

162
00:09:29,959 --> 00:09:31,583
Like, general fish.

163
00:09:31,583 --> 00:09:32,875
Yeah, I'll have the--

164
00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:34,000
the-- the--

165
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,500
the, uh--

166
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:39,792
the-- not--
not the--

167
00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:41,625
I'll just-- just--

168
00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:44,500
Just--
The fish?

169
00:09:48,125 --> 00:09:49,500
The general fish...

170
00:09:50,583 --> 00:09:51,708
please.

171
00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:54,625
Come back for seconds.
Plenty left.

172
00:09:54,625 --> 00:09:55,834
Thank you, ma'am.

173
00:09:56,834 --> 00:09:59,000
Fish or pizza?
Pizza.

174
00:10:05,583 --> 00:10:09,542
(deep breathing)

175
00:10:29,208 --> 00:10:32,583
Do you want
to keep on trying
the breathing exercises,

176
00:10:32,583 --> 00:10:35,083
or something new?

177
00:10:35,083 --> 00:10:39,417
I-- is it all right
if I-- if I...

178
00:10:39,417 --> 00:10:41,291
don't have an opinion?

179
00:10:41,291 --> 00:10:42,875
Teacher:
Let's try this.

180
00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:45,041
(whispering)
I read in this journal,

181
00:10:45,041 --> 00:10:47,750
"Clinical Pathways
to Speech Pathology,"

182
00:10:47,750 --> 00:10:52,250
that it's hard
to be anything but fluent

183
00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:56,250
when you whisper
or sing.

184
00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:59,875
I sent away for a videotape
of some people trying that out.

185
00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:02,041
Not a solution,
obviously,

186
00:11:02,041 --> 00:11:05,834
but wanna give it
a shot?

187
00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:09,875
(whispering)
I can't-- I can't-- I can't--

188
00:11:09,875 --> 00:11:12,083
I can't do this.

189
00:11:13,291 --> 00:11:16,583
Isn't this
too stupid, Honoria?

190
00:11:16,583 --> 00:11:19,208
Even for Honoria.

191
00:11:19,208 --> 00:11:21,750
This is too stupid.
I can just feel it.

192
00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:24,500
I explained this, Hal,
that this is not my specialty.

193
00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:26,792
I'm sorry, I'm trying.

194
00:11:26,792 --> 00:11:30,083
It's really a shame
that you're not hyperactive,

195
00:11:30,083 --> 00:11:33,000
because that I know well.

196
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:37,125
And that I can
work miracles with--

197
00:11:37,125 --> 00:11:38,875
hyperactivity.

198
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:41,542
But...

199
00:11:41,542 --> 00:11:43,875
back to breathing. Yeah?

200
00:11:44,792 --> 00:11:46,083
Breathe.

201
00:11:46,083 --> 00:11:49,583
(inhales and exhales)

202
00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:54,000
Good, come on.

203
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,667
Teacher:
It was
1858,

204
00:11:57,667 --> 00:11:59,917
and while
Senator
Stephen Douglas

205
00:11:59,917 --> 00:12:01,041
set out his case

206
00:12:01,041 --> 00:12:04,417
that states are to choose
whether to allow slavery,

207
00:12:04,417 --> 00:12:06,959
Abraham Lincoln consulted

208
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:09,208
with the smart
citizens of Illinois

209
00:12:09,208 --> 00:12:10,959
to plot his answer.

210
00:12:10,959 --> 00:12:12,500
Student:
Lincoln's a chick!

211
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,625
Let me find now a citizen

212
00:12:14,625 --> 00:12:17,333
to assist me in coming up
with arguments

213
00:12:17,333 --> 00:12:19,625
against Senator Douglas.

214
00:12:19,625 --> 00:12:23,458
Where can I find
such a citizen helper?

215
00:12:23,458 --> 00:12:25,583
(students calling out)

216
00:12:27,959 --> 00:12:32,166
The commoner in the
striped plum-colored shirt--

217
00:12:32,166 --> 00:12:34,250
We need you, sir.

218
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:36,083
Rise to your duty.

219
00:12:36,083 --> 00:12:37,667
(students laughing)

220
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,583
(students muttering)

221
00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:43,667
Come on!
Get up there.

222
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,208
(students shouting)

223
00:12:53,708 --> 00:12:55,959
My assistant has come
to offer me arguments

224
00:12:55,959 --> 00:12:59,458
in my debate
against the senator.

225
00:12:59,458 --> 00:13:02,875
Ha!
Now I'm quaking.

226
00:13:02,875 --> 00:13:07,166
What cannot a house
divided against itself do?

227
00:13:07,166 --> 00:13:12,000
It is this argument
that will lead me to victory.

228
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,834
What cannot it do?

229
00:13:21,458 --> 00:13:24,083
(exhales) Uh...

230
00:13:24,083 --> 00:13:26,208
it-- it--

231
00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:29,375
Hold it further away
from your mouth.

232
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:33,041
What cannot
a house divided do?

233
00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:37,875
It can't--

234
00:13:37,875 --> 00:13:41,250
can't st--

235
00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:43,208
can't-- can't--

236
00:13:43,208 --> 00:13:46,834
Mr. President...

237
00:13:46,834 --> 00:13:51,208
a house divided can't--

238
00:13:51,208 --> 00:13:53,917
Some help
from the citizenry.

239
00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:55,917
Student:
It can't stand.

240
00:13:55,917 --> 00:13:58,750
I thought it was
"Shit itself."

241
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,959
(whispers)
Thank you.

242
00:14:01,959 --> 00:14:04,834
How about a round of applause
for the good commoner?

243
00:14:04,834 --> 00:14:06,959
♪ ♪
(applause)

244
00:14:06,959 --> 00:14:11,083
(man speaking faintly)

245
00:14:12,834 --> 00:14:14,917
You look taller onstage.

246
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,625
(car honking)

247
00:14:42,625 --> 00:14:44,125
Earl: Agnes.

248
00:14:44,125 --> 00:14:48,250
Agnes. Agnes.

249
00:14:49,625 --> 00:14:52,208
Agnes.

250
00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:55,834
I'm trying
not to listen, okay?

251
00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:58,875
Distinctly not to.
You're like one foot
away, so just--

252
00:14:58,875 --> 00:15:02,083
Earl:
Do you wanna
hear your problem?

253
00:15:02,083 --> 00:15:04,000
You've no agenda.

254
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,375
Strictly head-in-
the-ground material.

255
00:15:06,375 --> 00:15:08,375
Look at me.
Look at me.

256
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:10,834
I wake up every morning
and what do I do?

257
00:15:10,834 --> 00:15:12,291
I create an agenda
for the day,

258
00:15:12,291 --> 00:15:14,458
which is a sub-agenda
for the month,

259
00:15:14,458 --> 00:15:17,000
which is in itself
a pie sl--

260
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,500
which is in itself
a pie slice

261
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:22,125
of my agenda
for life.

262
00:15:26,542 --> 00:15:29,000
Do you want to hear
my purpose for today?

263
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,500
I-- uh, I-- no.

264
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,500
I-- I can--
I can assure you

265
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:38,166
that I absolutely
do not.

266
00:15:38,166 --> 00:15:41,000
Probably call the cops
on me anyway.

267
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,000
Hey, Adolf,
switch with me.

268
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,500
Upsy-daisy.

269
00:15:46,500 --> 00:15:47,875
This is my seat.

270
00:15:47,875 --> 00:15:49,625
Like all seats
on this vehicle,

271
00:15:49,625 --> 00:15:51,834
yours has been paid
for with taxpayer money,

272
00:15:51,834 --> 00:15:53,917
which means that
I or anyone else

273
00:15:53,917 --> 00:15:55,750
has just as much right
to it as you do.

274
00:15:55,750 --> 00:15:57,250
In fact, given
the distinction

275
00:15:57,250 --> 00:15:59,417
between what
your family surely
pays in taxes and mine,

276
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:03,125
I think it's safe to say
the seat is substantially
more mine than yours.

277
00:16:03,125 --> 00:16:04,959
Do you see now?

278
00:16:04,959 --> 00:16:07,708
I'll be taking
just a minute to talk
to the little man,

279
00:16:07,708 --> 00:16:10,792
and then you can
go on borrowing my seat
for as long as you like

280
00:16:10,792 --> 00:16:12,708
until I want it again, right?

281
00:16:22,041 --> 00:16:23,708
(clears throat)

282
00:16:23,708 --> 00:16:25,542
Coach Lumbly,
with the pilgrim hat,

283
00:16:25,542 --> 00:16:27,583
she teaches patterns
of adult living.

284
00:16:27,583 --> 00:16:30,750
She's on her third husband,
name of Wallace Lumbly.
Wallace III.

285
00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:33,750
It's a particular
pattern she doesn't
lecture us on in class.

286
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:37,792
Anyway, she came up to me
after a presentation on
egalitarianism

287
00:16:37,792 --> 00:16:41,250
and said that although
my argumentative skills
were at the fetal stage,

288
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,834
she sensed-- somehow
she intuited my potential

289
00:16:44,834 --> 00:16:46,667
and she invited me
on the team.

290
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:50,166
So now here I am
two years later doing
the same thing with you--

291
00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:52,041
recruiting,

292
00:16:52,041 --> 00:16:55,041
ferreting out the debating
talent from the masses.

293
00:16:55,041 --> 00:16:57,250
That's you.

294
00:16:58,291 --> 00:16:59,792
I've ferreted you.

295
00:16:59,792 --> 00:17:02,917
You mean--
you mean

296
00:17:02,917 --> 00:17:05,625
public speaking?
Like, speaking...

297
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,083
in public?

298
00:17:09,834 --> 00:17:12,417
No, I don't think that's--
that's not-- that's not very--

299
00:17:12,417 --> 00:17:15,333
Resolved that the federal
government should support
the teaching of abstinence

300
00:17:15,333 --> 00:17:17,917
in public schools...
from sex.

301
00:17:17,917 --> 00:17:20,583
It's a big step up
from farming.

302
00:17:20,583 --> 00:17:22,917
That was last year's
resolution.

303
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,166
Yeah, I know.

304
00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:27,959
Suit yourself.

305
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:29,792
But deformed people
are the best.

306
00:17:29,792 --> 00:17:32,959
Maybe it's because
they have a deep
resource of anger.

307
00:17:32,959 --> 00:17:34,333
It serves them well.

308
00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:37,000
(horn honking)

309
00:17:38,792 --> 00:17:40,583
Were you trying
to say thank you?

310
00:17:40,583 --> 00:17:43,792
I thought you
might be stuck trying
to say thank you.

311
00:17:46,458 --> 00:17:48,125
You're welcome.

312
00:17:50,291 --> 00:17:52,333
(brakes squeal)

313
00:17:57,250 --> 00:18:01,959
♪ ♪

314
00:18:56,542 --> 00:18:58,208
(clears throat)

315
00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:02,041
I'm sure this is
awkward for the boys.

316
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:06,458
Jules:
Not one bit.
Not one single bit.

317
00:19:06,458 --> 00:19:09,333
I swear I'm
more nervous than anyone.

318
00:19:09,333 --> 00:19:11,959
Honestly, Jules,
I'm a small-claims judge.

319
00:19:11,959 --> 00:19:15,000
It's lucky I'm not dating
someone from Trenton.

320
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,708
(laughs)

321
00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:23,792
Is this a traditional
Korean dish?

322
00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:27,208
Because it has an...
exotic odor.

323
00:19:29,041 --> 00:19:32,417
Uh, that's
tuna casserole.

324
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,208
(banging)
(man and Jules moaning)

325
00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:49,041
Pete:
Use your finger!

326
00:19:49,041 --> 00:19:50,583
Shut up!

327
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,875
My dad hasn't dated
anyone before your mom
for six years.

328
00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:57,208
Can, uh--

329
00:19:57,208 --> 00:20:00,458
can we just
not talk about that?

330
00:20:04,417 --> 00:20:07,250
I got this by
a tree stump in the park.

331
00:20:12,875 --> 00:20:15,125
Look at this one.

332
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,083
Coach: Fire!

333
00:20:20,875 --> 00:20:22,792
Narrator:
Then on Thursday--

334
00:20:22,792 --> 00:20:25,333
it could have been
any day, but it wasn't;

335
00:20:25,333 --> 00:20:27,625
it was Thursday--

336
00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:30,041
for no good reason,
something happened.

337
00:20:30,041 --> 00:20:33,208
And it was like a little wave
breaking over him.

338
00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:35,500
Take aim...

339
00:20:38,708 --> 00:20:40,708
Narrator:
And it said the name

340
00:20:40,708 --> 00:20:43,250
G-I-N-N-Y.

341
00:20:43,250 --> 00:20:44,625
Ginny.

342
00:20:44,625 --> 00:20:47,458
(echoing)
The wave said
the name Ginny.

343
00:20:47,458 --> 00:20:48,834
Over and over.

344
00:20:48,834 --> 00:20:50,834
Ginny, Ginny, Ginny.
Coach: Fire!

345
00:20:53,959 --> 00:20:56,083
Coach:
Zero points, Hal Hefner.

346
00:20:56,083 --> 00:20:57,417
Narrator:
Ginny.

347
00:20:57,417 --> 00:20:59,291
Ginny:
The etymology of the word
"spreading" is unclear,

348
00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:02,000
but we believe it to be
blending together of speed
and reading-- spreading.

349
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,500
All it is is jamming
as many arguments into your
time as you humanly can.

350
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:08,500
Here we go.
The effects of early
sexual relations

351
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:09,750
include transmission
of diseases,

352
00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:10,750
out-of-wedlock pregnancies,

353
00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:13,792
and a host of potential
illnesses--

354
00:21:13,792 --> 00:21:16,000
a host of potential illnesses
including depression

355
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,959
and low self-esteem.
Consider contention one earlier.

356
00:21:17,959 --> 00:21:21,125
Participation in the program
is 53% more likely to yield
positive results.

357
00:21:21,125 --> 00:21:23,291
You know, the other thing
that I wanted to tell you

358
00:21:23,291 --> 00:21:25,959
is that you even
look like this guy
I used to debate with--

359
00:21:25,959 --> 00:21:27,417
in a shorter,
goofier kind of way.

360
00:21:27,417 --> 00:21:29,708
And what would you
be doing here looking
enough like this guy

361
00:21:29,708 --> 00:21:33,708
if it wasn't for me
to discover you and what
talents are hidden within?

362
00:21:33,708 --> 00:21:35,125
Hi.

363
00:21:35,125 --> 00:21:36,250
Hi.

364
00:21:38,375 --> 00:21:40,792
Resolved that Hal Hefner
should really stop letting
the world

365
00:21:40,792 --> 00:21:43,375
tell him what's possible
and try and figure it out
for himself.

366
00:21:43,375 --> 00:21:44,875
Maybe that's
a life's philosophy

367
00:21:44,875 --> 00:21:47,083
suited just to some of us
who cherish winning.

368
00:21:47,083 --> 00:21:49,417
So maybe it's not for you,
but I think that it is.

369
00:21:50,959 --> 00:21:53,875
The quality of life among
teens who refrain...

370
00:21:53,875 --> 00:21:56,000
(continues speaking)

371
00:22:04,708 --> 00:22:06,041
Narrator:
Before this,

372
00:22:06,041 --> 00:22:08,583
there was the nothingness
of Plainsboro, New Jersey.

373
00:22:08,583 --> 00:22:11,333
But now Hal Hefner suddenly
had only one thought,

374
00:22:11,333 --> 00:22:15,125
and it felt like all his life
his brain had been waiting
for this thought,

375
00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:17,417
so comfortably now
did it fit in

376
00:22:17,417 --> 00:22:19,750
and take up
all the room there was.

377
00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:22,083
You're on my street.

378
00:22:26,583 --> 00:22:28,875
You're still on my street.

379
00:22:28,875 --> 00:22:33,041
Do you--
do you have any idea
what public property is?

380
00:22:33,041 --> 00:22:34,583
We'll see.

381
00:22:47,083 --> 00:22:49,834
My mom, Fern, says
it's public property,

382
00:22:49,834 --> 00:22:53,083
and if it's okay with
your mom, you can come
have 7-Up with me,

383
00:22:53,083 --> 00:22:55,792
but the ice maker's
busted, so...

384
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:02,083
(cello and piano
playing)

385
00:23:02,083 --> 00:23:05,333
♪ ♪

386
00:23:12,083 --> 00:23:14,792
Hi.

387
00:23:14,792 --> 00:23:16,959
You want to sit down
and listen to an old couple

388
00:23:16,959 --> 00:23:19,792
work on their marriage
through some music therapy?

389
00:23:19,792 --> 00:23:22,917
Lewis:
I'm upstairs!

390
00:23:22,917 --> 00:23:24,750
Uh, uh--

391
00:23:24,750 --> 00:23:27,625
uh, no thanks.
Not-- not-- not today.

392
00:23:27,625 --> 00:23:29,750
(music continues)

393
00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:40,917
I have a request
in for binoculars for
my 12th birthday, so...

394
00:23:40,917 --> 00:23:43,750
I'll see about that.

395
00:23:43,750 --> 00:23:45,083
Yeah.

396
00:23:45,083 --> 00:23:46,625
Yeah.

397
00:23:52,291 --> 00:23:54,500
Hal:
Who, uh--

398
00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:55,875
who-- who is that?

399
00:23:55,875 --> 00:23:59,708
Beats me.
Hey, do you know
if she wears a bra?

400
00:24:02,625 --> 00:24:04,834
Wanna see a bra?

401
00:24:14,166 --> 00:24:17,875
Yeah, uh-- I should--
I should really--

402
00:24:17,875 --> 00:24:19,750
I should-- should--

403
00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:22,041
I should really probably
go home now, Lewis.

404
00:24:22,041 --> 00:24:23,875
Okay.

405
00:24:49,875 --> 00:24:52,125
(dice rattling)

406
00:24:52,125 --> 00:24:53,625
Uh, Judge Pete?

407
00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:55,917
Judge Pete?
Your Honor?

408
00:24:55,917 --> 00:24:57,625
Hm?
Do you...

409
00:24:57,625 --> 00:25:00,625
know any, uh--
do you know any lawyers--

410
00:25:00,625 --> 00:25:03,875
great lawyers who
can't talk very well?

411
00:25:03,875 --> 00:25:06,792
Not-- not fluent,
but yet great lawyers

412
00:25:06,792 --> 00:25:09,542
whose clients don't end
up getting the chair?

413
00:25:09,542 --> 00:25:12,917
Uh...

414
00:25:12,917 --> 00:25:16,000
Oh, there's a bailiff
with a prosthetic leg.

415
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,583
(laughs)

416
00:25:19,375 --> 00:25:21,417
(grunts)
(Jules laughs)

417
00:25:25,417 --> 00:25:27,083
What are
you thinking, Laverne?

418
00:25:31,250 --> 00:25:32,625
(rolling dice)

419
00:25:35,750 --> 00:25:37,250
Hi.

420
00:25:38,750 --> 00:25:40,834
I, uh-- I talked
to Ms.--

421
00:25:40,834 --> 00:25:44,458
to Mrs.--
which is it, anyway?

422
00:25:44,458 --> 00:25:46,708
To-- to uh--

423
00:25:46,708 --> 00:25:48,333
to the coach,
and, um,

424
00:25:48,333 --> 00:25:52,458
I'm-- I'm-- I'm
gonna come inside
for debate prep now,

425
00:25:52,458 --> 00:25:54,083
uh, thanks to you.

426
00:25:55,166 --> 00:25:57,083
Someone took something
of mine.

427
00:25:58,917 --> 00:26:01,834
I had a locket.
I had a 24-karat
gold deco locket

428
00:26:01,834 --> 00:26:04,291
with two pictures inside.
Is this ringing any bells?

429
00:26:04,291 --> 00:26:06,959
One was of me, the other
was of someone else--

430
00:26:06,959 --> 00:26:08,583
a boy, of sorts.

431
00:26:08,583 --> 00:26:10,959
What's a--
a deco?

432
00:26:10,959 --> 00:26:13,750
My mother believes
that one of her pseudo
friends stole it,

433
00:26:13,750 --> 00:26:16,125
because he, or even she,
is secretly a pedophile

434
00:26:16,125 --> 00:26:18,708
and wanted the locket
to stare into or suck on

435
00:26:18,708 --> 00:26:21,125
or utilize for other
specific erotic purposes.

436
00:26:21,125 --> 00:26:23,792
But I told her that
I have this hunch--

437
00:26:23,792 --> 00:26:25,375
I have this
womanly hunch

438
00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:28,375
that it was taken out
of my backpack by someone
at PHS.

439
00:26:28,375 --> 00:26:31,250
It's like I sensed it
leaving my presence.
Just an ounce--

440
00:26:31,250 --> 00:26:33,667
but a burning ounce
as it left my person.

441
00:26:33,667 --> 00:26:37,375
Hal: Well, I don't-- I don't
think that the pedophile
thing could be true.

442
00:26:37,375 --> 00:26:40,083
Not that I, uh,
even really know
anything about that.

443
00:26:40,083 --> 00:26:43,125
But, I just don't
believe that anyone

444
00:26:43,125 --> 00:26:45,792
would really think
of you like that.

445
00:26:45,792 --> 00:26:46,708
Like what?

446
00:26:46,708 --> 00:26:50,458
I mean, just, uh,
sexually, I mean.

447
00:26:50,458 --> 00:26:53,083
(bell rings)

448
00:26:53,083 --> 00:26:55,667
That's the worst thing
anyone's ever said to me.

449
00:26:56,834 --> 00:26:59,000
Wait, no!
I can't believe
you said that.

450
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,291
No no, I didn't-- no.

451
00:27:00,291 --> 00:27:02,083
I never should have
asked you to join the team.

452
00:27:02,083 --> 00:27:04,333
God only knows
what I was thinking.

453
00:27:04,333 --> 00:27:06,000
But, I didn't-- no.

454
00:27:15,708 --> 00:27:17,917
(breathing heavily)

455
00:27:17,917 --> 00:27:19,417
Earl.

456
00:27:19,417 --> 00:27:24,542
♪ ♪

457
00:28:11,250 --> 00:28:12,208
Thief.

458
00:28:12,208 --> 00:28:18,291
♪ ♪

459
00:28:29,834 --> 00:28:32,208
Yes?
I--

460
00:28:32,208 --> 00:28:33,792
Here, I--
I stole it.

461
00:28:35,041 --> 00:28:37,458
Shouldn't you be
at school?

462
00:28:37,458 --> 00:28:44,000
♪ ♪

463
00:28:49,542 --> 00:28:51,625
(door slams open)
Start talking, you weasel.

464
00:28:51,625 --> 00:28:53,959
Get out!
You left my theft box
a shit-faced mess.

465
00:28:53,959 --> 00:28:55,834
Don't ever touch
the stuff I steal!

466
00:28:55,834 --> 00:28:57,625
I mean it!
I steal it, it's mine!

467
00:28:57,625 --> 00:28:59,667
You should put that
on your business card!

468
00:28:59,667 --> 00:29:01,792
I'm gonna tan your hide,
you fake thief!

469
00:29:01,792 --> 00:29:03,166
You god-awful
make-believe thief!

470
00:29:03,166 --> 00:29:04,792
Judge Pete is gonna
lock you up.

471
00:29:04,792 --> 00:29:06,417
Get your own
mother-f'ing plan!

472
00:29:06,417 --> 00:29:08,166
If you tell anyone
I stole it,

473
00:29:08,166 --> 00:29:10,041
I'm gonna wipe my ass
with your ChapStick,

474
00:29:10,041 --> 00:29:12,834
and I'm gonna reach
in your eye sockets
and tear out your pancreas.

475
00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:15,792
I'm hiding my theft box
where you'll never find it.

476
00:29:15,792 --> 00:29:17,959
This is ridiculous!

477
00:29:17,959 --> 00:29:20,500
And stay out!
(screams)

478
00:29:28,250 --> 00:29:30,208
(grunting)

479
00:29:30,208 --> 00:29:32,125
(phone rings)

480
00:29:41,458 --> 00:29:43,500
Earl:
It's for you, Annabel.

481
00:29:49,708 --> 00:29:51,583
Uh...

482
00:29:51,583 --> 00:29:54,000
uh, he-- uh--

483
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,708
Is this the Hefner mansion?

484
00:29:58,917 --> 00:30:01,542
Um, uh, I--

485
00:30:01,542 --> 00:30:02,917
yeah, uh,

486
00:30:02,917 --> 00:30:05,291
can you-- can you
hold on for a second?

487
00:30:05,291 --> 00:30:08,291
I'm just gonna, um-- uh...

488
00:30:08,291 --> 00:30:11,875
I'm just gonna move.
But stay on.

489
00:30:11,875 --> 00:30:13,875
You can hang up now,
Earl.

490
00:30:13,875 --> 00:30:15,792
You can hang up
now, Earl.

491
00:30:15,792 --> 00:30:18,834
Oh, okay.
You're the boss of me.

492
00:30:18,834 --> 00:30:21,583
(Hal sighing)

493
00:30:21,583 --> 00:30:24,708
The boy whose picture
I keep in the locket
that you stole,

494
00:30:24,708 --> 00:30:26,125
did you see him?

495
00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:28,291
Uh, yeah, he--

496
00:30:28,291 --> 00:30:30,375
His name's Ben Wekselbaum.
We debated together

497
00:30:30,375 --> 00:30:32,208
until he freaked out
at the final round at States

498
00:30:32,208 --> 00:30:34,250
and left me with a lousy
second-place trophy.

499
00:30:34,250 --> 00:30:36,125
I've never felt
anything like that.

500
00:30:36,125 --> 00:30:38,917
Have you ever felt
like you could burn
the world down?

501
00:30:39,792 --> 00:30:41,083
Hal:
Every day.

502
00:30:43,250 --> 00:30:44,750
Well, he dropped out
of high school

503
00:30:44,750 --> 00:30:46,667
and though he never did
have the decency to call,

504
00:30:46,667 --> 00:30:48,834
I heard through
the grapevine that his
grandmother got him a job

505
00:30:48,834 --> 00:30:51,708
at the world-renowned
Louis Dry-cleaners
in Trenton.

506
00:30:51,708 --> 00:30:55,125
I-- yeah, I don't
think that I've ever
heard of it.

507
00:30:55,125 --> 00:30:58,750
Right.
Anyway, ultimately
it's a good thing

508
00:30:58,750 --> 00:31:00,750
that the spirit
of cowardliness overtook
Ben Wekselbaum,

509
00:31:00,750 --> 00:31:03,792
because it has, one,
left my partner arrangement
free this year,

510
00:31:03,792 --> 00:31:05,625
and, two, allowed me to find
someone that I can mold

511
00:31:05,625 --> 00:31:08,125
into the kind of
bare-knuckles debater that
I want to debate with.

512
00:31:08,125 --> 00:31:10,291
The best debaters
are the ones with
something to prove--

513
00:31:10,291 --> 00:31:12,375
I, trying to rise
above the fiasco of last
year's States,

514
00:31:12,375 --> 00:31:15,708
and you trying to prove to
the world that you're not as
retarded as you sometimes sound,

515
00:31:15,708 --> 00:31:17,625
which is why I want you to
overlook the embarrassment

516
00:31:17,625 --> 00:31:20,417
that comes with having
taken my locket and join
up with the team after all.

517
00:31:20,417 --> 00:31:22,166
Connie:
You're on dishes tonight,
Virginia.

518
00:31:22,166 --> 00:31:24,125
I'm on an important
phone call, is what I'm on.

519
00:31:24,125 --> 00:31:26,708
Connie: They're all
important calls in the world
of Virginia Ryerson.

520
00:31:26,708 --> 00:31:29,041
I have to go.
I'll see you at my
house on Saturday.

521
00:31:29,041 --> 00:31:31,583
You're helping me
with research.
Yeah, oh, uh--

522
00:31:31,583 --> 00:31:33,458
(phone clicks off)

523
00:31:33,458 --> 00:31:36,583
Ginny, are you-- are you st--
are you still there?

524
00:31:36,583 --> 00:31:38,917
Earl:
Oh, I am, Katherine, yes,
and it's a good thing I am.

525
00:31:38,917 --> 00:31:41,750
Earl!
If you think you're gonna
get a long-term girlfriend

526
00:31:41,750 --> 00:31:44,291
without my permission,
you got another think coming.

527
00:31:44,291 --> 00:31:46,291
You'll never sleep
safe again. Not ever.

528
00:31:46,291 --> 00:31:49,166
Don't do it, little shit!
Don't do it!

529
00:31:53,959 --> 00:32:00,667
♪ ♪

530
00:32:06,708 --> 00:32:09,166
Try not to steal
anything if you can.

531
00:32:30,917 --> 00:32:33,000
Cut it out
and come inside.

532
00:32:35,458 --> 00:32:37,458
Close the door
behind you.

533
00:32:39,667 --> 00:32:43,208
Sit down.
You're finding me quotes
in the affirmative.

534
00:32:53,250 --> 00:32:54,583
(lighter flicks)

535
00:32:56,542 --> 00:33:00,166
So, uh...

536
00:33:00,166 --> 00:33:04,291
what do-- what do you
believe in when it comes
to abstinence?

537
00:33:04,291 --> 00:33:06,625
Top debaters never really
believe in anything.

538
00:33:06,625 --> 00:33:08,834
It gets in the way of
arguing from both sides.

539
00:33:08,834 --> 00:33:10,708
But I mean, like,

540
00:33:10,708 --> 00:33:13,708
for you, like,
in your own life.

541
00:33:13,708 --> 00:33:16,959
Debate is life.
You shouldn't think about
it in any other context.

542
00:33:16,959 --> 00:33:20,250
Because in my mind,
I don't-- I don't really
think it's...

543
00:33:20,250 --> 00:33:22,708
a very good idea.
Abstinence, I mean.

544
00:33:22,708 --> 00:33:25,917
Because, um,
I just...

545
00:33:25,917 --> 00:33:27,834
don't think it's
a very good idea,

546
00:33:27,834 --> 00:33:29,792
not for kids
in New Jersey.

547
00:33:32,375 --> 00:33:35,542
Okay, well, that's enough
tangential bullshit.

548
00:33:35,542 --> 00:33:38,333
Write down these template
arguments against abstinence:

549
00:33:38,333 --> 00:33:40,917
One, supporting it
violates the barrier
between church and state;

550
00:33:40,917 --> 00:33:42,917
Two, it's an enforcement
of a dated, sexist agenda;

551
00:33:42,917 --> 00:33:45,250
Three, sexual freedom is
the basis of human freedom;

552
00:33:45,250 --> 00:33:47,708
Four, it separates us
from western cultures,
Europe in particular,

553
00:33:47,708 --> 00:33:49,959
when we should be
drawing closer to our
international allies;

554
00:33:49,959 --> 00:33:53,625
Five, psychologists say that
repressed sexual functions
can create adult neuroses;

555
00:33:53,625 --> 00:33:57,208
Six, abstinence programs
actually increase risky
sexual behavior among teens;

556
00:33:57,208 --> 00:33:59,625
Seven, it creates
barriers between free-
love-generation parents

557
00:33:59,625 --> 00:34:01,250
and their more
conservative children;

558
00:34:01,250 --> 00:34:04,125
Eight, and finally,
we oppose abstinence
because the world might end

559
00:34:04,125 --> 00:34:07,291
and then basically everyone
we know dies a virgin.

560
00:34:07,291 --> 00:34:09,792
Wow.

561
00:34:09,792 --> 00:34:12,458
Yeah, all those when
you think about it.

562
00:34:15,583 --> 00:34:18,625
In preparation for our
first official debate
exercise next week,

563
00:34:18,625 --> 00:34:21,166
show me that you can argue
in favor of abstinence.

564
00:34:21,166 --> 00:34:23,000
Well, um...

565
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,917
I think I may be better
arguing from from the other
side of this.

566
00:34:26,917 --> 00:34:28,959
Hal.

567
00:34:30,417 --> 00:34:31,500
Um...

568
00:34:31,500 --> 00:34:33,708
The only one that I could--
that I could really--

569
00:34:33,708 --> 00:34:37,500
that I could really
come up with was--

570
00:34:37,500 --> 00:34:41,917
that, uh, love is--
it's more special

571
00:34:41,917 --> 00:34:44,792
when you--
when you do find it.

572
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:47,708
The special-love case.

573
00:34:47,708 --> 00:34:50,834
Probably that stinks,
but I'll think about
it some more,

574
00:34:50,834 --> 00:34:53,000
and we'll see.

575
00:34:57,834 --> 00:35:00,875
(cello playing)

576
00:35:03,291 --> 00:35:05,333
(piano joins)

577
00:35:13,708 --> 00:35:18,166
Dad says he and mom
have done every one
of these at least twice,

578
00:35:18,166 --> 00:35:20,750
and some as many
as 100 times.

579
00:35:20,750 --> 00:35:22,834
But he says no one's
keeping count,

580
00:35:22,834 --> 00:35:24,166
which seems like
a big waste

581
00:35:24,166 --> 00:35:27,542
'cause he could
be the Kama Sutra
Barry Bonds or something

582
00:35:27,542 --> 00:35:29,708
and no one would
even know it.

583
00:35:32,208 --> 00:35:35,375
Yeah, I tried this
one with my pants on

584
00:35:35,375 --> 00:35:37,041
on Winchester,
our old dog.

585
00:35:37,041 --> 00:35:40,625
But he wouldn't sit still,
and he died a month later.

586
00:35:40,625 --> 00:35:42,834
(cello and piano continue)

587
00:35:42,834 --> 00:35:45,000
♪ ♪

588
00:36:02,750 --> 00:36:05,417
Mmm, hot and spicy.

589
00:36:33,208 --> 00:36:36,542
(chuckles)
Descartes.
Man, oh man.

590
00:36:37,750 --> 00:36:41,375
Hey, would you be interested
in joining my club?

591
00:36:41,375 --> 00:36:43,750
The Junior Philosophers.

592
00:36:44,834 --> 00:36:46,834
Oh, uh,
well, I uh--

593
00:36:46,834 --> 00:36:49,500
I-- my plate
is kind of full.

594
00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:51,125
I know what
you're thinking.

595
00:36:51,125 --> 00:36:54,208
We read everything,
but no Hegel,

596
00:36:54,208 --> 00:36:56,750
if that's your concern.

597
00:36:57,959 --> 00:37:01,667
No, uh, actually
I'm waiting for a girl.

598
00:37:02,625 --> 00:37:04,291
That girl.

599
00:37:12,792 --> 00:37:14,834
You know what you can
do for me right now

600
00:37:14,834 --> 00:37:17,458
is write up
some more flow charts.

601
00:37:17,458 --> 00:37:19,625
Oh, thanks.

602
00:37:19,625 --> 00:37:21,208
Okay.

603
00:37:21,208 --> 00:37:25,625
♪ ♪

604
00:37:34,667 --> 00:37:36,250
Lumbly:
Once I was your age,

605
00:37:36,250 --> 00:37:39,792
just as quiet on
the inside as most of you
novice debaters are.

606
00:37:39,792 --> 00:37:42,000
Quiet as a mouse.

607
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,667
Or a stone.

608
00:37:44,667 --> 00:37:46,792
Or a bowl of pudding.

609
00:37:46,792 --> 00:37:50,333
And then I saw my first debate,
and the pudding was no more.

610
00:37:50,333 --> 00:37:53,417
None of you novices
understands me now.
You will.

611
00:37:53,417 --> 00:37:55,458
Until then, the thing
to remember

612
00:37:55,458 --> 00:37:57,917
is there are rules
that must be followed.

613
00:37:57,917 --> 00:37:59,125
That's debate.

614
00:37:59,125 --> 00:38:00,750
And that's life.

615
00:38:00,750 --> 00:38:04,834
Our exercise today is
an accelerated run-through
of a complete debate round

616
00:38:04,834 --> 00:38:06,208
to teach you
those rules.

617
00:38:06,208 --> 00:38:08,291
Why is the Hal Hefner
bowl of pudding

618
00:38:08,291 --> 00:38:09,750
allowed to
demonstrate to us?

619
00:38:09,750 --> 00:38:12,333
Uh, he's first year,
that's true, but Miss Ryerson

620
00:38:12,333 --> 00:38:14,083
has assured me that
he's a quick study

621
00:38:14,083 --> 00:38:18,083
and a rare talent,
and he will instruct
and enlighten us today.

622
00:38:18,083 --> 00:38:20,458
Our debate begins with
Ginny, the first affirmative,

623
00:38:20,458 --> 00:38:22,375
delivering an eight-minute
opening speech.

624
00:38:22,375 --> 00:38:26,208
For our purposes,
Ginny will synopsize
that down to 10 seconds.

625
00:38:26,208 --> 00:38:29,542
Good afternoon,
ladies and germs.

626
00:38:29,542 --> 00:38:32,417
Our affirmative case today
in effect states that increased
teenage pregnancies

627
00:38:32,417 --> 00:38:34,667
will eventually bankrupt
social security, destroy
the economy,

628
00:38:34,667 --> 00:38:36,291
and result in
the third world war.

629
00:38:36,291 --> 00:38:38,792
Therefore, we will
quadruple the federal spending
given only to schools

630
00:38:38,792 --> 00:38:40,625
that teach abstinence
to their students. Thank you.

631
00:38:40,625 --> 00:38:42,417
Lumbly:
That was lucid, thank you.

632
00:38:42,417 --> 00:38:46,083
Now there's a two-minute
cross-examination, second
negative to first affirmative.

633
00:38:46,083 --> 00:38:48,208
Crystal Hamish-Steinberg
is the second negative.

634
00:38:48,208 --> 00:38:50,750
Crystal Hamish-Steinberg,
would you give us an
exemplary question

635
00:38:50,750 --> 00:38:52,417
that you would ask?

636
00:38:52,417 --> 00:38:55,041
Have you ever heard
of Bangladesh?

637
00:38:55,041 --> 00:38:56,875
The perfect tease.

638
00:38:56,875 --> 00:38:59,750
Now the women
may sit while the
first negative rises

639
00:38:59,750 --> 00:39:02,542
to respond to Ginny.
Phillip?

640
00:39:02,542 --> 00:39:04,291
Rather than attack
the affirmative case,

641
00:39:04,291 --> 00:39:07,250
Crystal Hamish-Steinberg
and I propose the following
negative counterplan:

642
00:39:07,250 --> 00:39:09,250
we grant all the harms
claimed by the affirmative,

643
00:39:09,250 --> 00:39:11,917
but state that
the better way to combat
teenage pregnancy

644
00:39:11,917 --> 00:39:13,750
is by pouring money
into a huge rock concert

645
00:39:13,750 --> 00:39:16,125
that we'll call
"The Concert for Sexlessness."

646
00:39:16,125 --> 00:39:17,750
Thank you.

647
00:39:17,750 --> 00:39:21,792
Now the first
affirmative cross-examines
the first negative.

648
00:39:21,792 --> 00:39:25,583
Do you have statistics
on how many rock stars
practice abstinence?

649
00:39:25,583 --> 00:39:29,166
How many rock stars
in the historic concert for
Bangladesh were Bangladeshi?

650
00:39:29,166 --> 00:39:30,917
I'll ask the questions
here, Phillip.

651
00:39:30,917 --> 00:39:32,083
The combatants sit.

652
00:39:32,083 --> 00:39:35,542
Now Hal Hefner wows us
with his second affirmative,

653
00:39:35,542 --> 00:39:39,792
another eight-minute
speech boiled down
here to 10 seconds.

654
00:39:39,792 --> 00:39:41,625
(Hal's chair slides)

655
00:39:44,542 --> 00:39:45,959
Uh...

656
00:39:45,959 --> 00:39:48,333
Narrator:
There were three immediate
lines of argumentation

657
00:39:48,333 --> 00:39:51,166
that came to mind.
But the best one
went like this:

658
00:39:51,166 --> 00:39:53,542
The plans are not
mutually exclusive.

659
00:39:53,542 --> 00:39:55,750
Increased funding
for school programs

660
00:39:55,750 --> 00:39:58,125
doesn't preclude
the negative team's
badly named

661
00:39:58,125 --> 00:40:00,208
"Concert for Sexlessness."

662
00:40:00,208 --> 00:40:02,500
The government can
and should do them both.

663
00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:05,500
Uh, the--

664
00:40:11,792 --> 00:40:14,625
Narrator:
Hal Hefner visualized
himself in that moment

665
00:40:14,625 --> 00:40:16,583
as the kind of kid
who can state,

666
00:40:16,583 --> 00:40:18,458
"The plans are not
mutually exclusive,"

667
00:40:18,458 --> 00:40:20,583
whenever he wants
to say so.

668
00:40:20,583 --> 00:40:23,000
The plans are not
mutually exclusive.

669
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,375
The plans are not--
no, they are--

670
00:40:25,375 --> 00:40:27,834
they are not
mutually exclusive.

671
00:40:32,875 --> 00:40:34,792
I'll be handling Hal Hefner's
cross-ex and rebuttal

672
00:40:34,792 --> 00:40:37,667
until the first actual
debate tournament against
other actual schools.

673
00:40:37,667 --> 00:40:41,333
Until then, he will
be my silent partner.
Hal Hefner, sit down.

674
00:40:46,458 --> 00:40:49,000
(Hal breathing)

675
00:40:57,291 --> 00:40:59,834
Do you know what I sounded
like the first speech I gave

676
00:40:59,834 --> 00:41:01,083
when I was your age?

677
00:41:02,417 --> 00:41:05,375
Ben told me I sounded like
a Bob Dole impersonator.

678
00:41:05,375 --> 00:41:07,375
Hal:
I don't--

679
00:41:07,375 --> 00:41:09,083
I'm not even really--

680
00:41:09,083 --> 00:41:12,375
I'm not even quite sure
who that even is.

681
00:41:18,708 --> 00:41:20,917
That was your first try,

682
00:41:20,917 --> 00:41:22,333
your first of many.

683
00:41:22,333 --> 00:41:24,792
And I don't even think
anybody really noticed.

684
00:41:24,792 --> 00:41:27,375
It really-- it wasn't
that big a--

685
00:41:31,041 --> 00:41:32,708
So...

686
00:41:32,708 --> 00:41:36,250
we should get back.
Well, I should get back
and finish the round--

687
00:41:40,208 --> 00:41:45,417
♪ ♪

688
00:41:58,250 --> 00:42:00,166
Resolved that
the federal government

689
00:42:00,166 --> 00:42:04,041
should support the teaching
of abstinence in public schools.

690
00:42:04,041 --> 00:42:05,750
Resolved!

691
00:42:05,750 --> 00:42:09,625
The motherf'ing federal
government should support
the teaching of abstinence

692
00:42:09,625 --> 00:42:12,625
in motherf'ing,
fucking public schools!

693
00:42:18,458 --> 00:42:19,917
Resolved!

694
00:42:21,834 --> 00:42:25,083
Do you--
do you guys, um--

695
00:42:26,625 --> 00:42:29,417
do you know how, um--
how-- how

696
00:42:29,417 --> 00:42:31,792
you, or one,

697
00:42:31,792 --> 00:42:35,125
would take a relationship
to the next level?

698
00:42:36,125 --> 00:42:37,959
I'm glad you came
to me, because...

699
00:42:37,959 --> 00:42:40,667
this is exactly
the sort of problem
that mommy and daddy

700
00:42:40,667 --> 00:42:43,083
would royally screw up.

701
00:42:44,375 --> 00:42:46,417
See, it's all about
having an agenda,

702
00:42:46,417 --> 00:42:48,166
which they will
never tell you.

703
00:42:49,750 --> 00:42:53,250
Do you have a plan?
Like today, I'm getting
a blowjob.

704
00:42:53,250 --> 00:42:55,625
It helps you
to realize it.

705
00:42:55,625 --> 00:42:57,792
It's all
very scientific.

706
00:42:57,792 --> 00:42:59,792
Mm-hm.
Yeah, I'm, uh--

707
00:42:59,792 --> 00:43:02,291
I'm-- I'm-- I'm
just a doubter

708
00:43:02,291 --> 00:43:04,834
that giving me a--
(whispering) a BJ

709
00:43:04,834 --> 00:43:07,333
is high on Ginny's list.

710
00:43:09,834 --> 00:43:11,750
You're her partner, right?

711
00:43:11,750 --> 00:43:14,792
So, you wait until
the moment is right.

712
00:43:16,875 --> 00:43:19,500
Like after you crack a good--
a really good joke,

713
00:43:19,500 --> 00:43:21,959
like the one that I crack
about the Queen of England,

714
00:43:21,959 --> 00:43:23,583
and then ask.

715
00:43:23,583 --> 00:43:26,375
It is totally worth the risk.
And you never know.

716
00:43:26,375 --> 00:43:28,834
Once you've had a blowjob,
you'd understand.

717
00:43:28,834 --> 00:43:31,000
It's like...

718
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:32,708
It's like walking
through a brick wall.

719
00:43:33,708 --> 00:43:36,083
(girls giggling,
chatting)

720
00:43:36,083 --> 00:43:38,208
You know, Ginny said that
I won't be her--

721
00:43:38,208 --> 00:43:40,667
her, um-- her real partner
for months.

722
00:43:40,667 --> 00:43:43,000
And that until then,
I'm like...

723
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,875
the mascot.

724
00:43:45,875 --> 00:43:48,041
The disfluent mascot.

725
00:43:49,500 --> 00:43:52,959
The disfluent mascot who's
not getting a BJ.

726
00:43:52,959 --> 00:43:54,834
Like the aardvark.

727
00:43:57,667 --> 00:44:01,166
No, that--
that was a joke, Heston.

728
00:44:01,166 --> 00:44:05,375
There is no-- there isn't
a debate mascot.

729
00:44:05,375 --> 00:44:08,375
I, for some reason,
was convinced it was
an aardvark.

730
00:44:10,166 --> 00:44:11,875
No.

731
00:44:13,834 --> 00:44:15,417
C'est la vie.

732
00:44:15,417 --> 00:44:17,875
♪ ♪

733
00:44:25,083 --> 00:44:27,041
Hey, uh,
can I--

734
00:44:27,041 --> 00:44:29,750
I just...

735
00:44:32,917 --> 00:44:34,166
What?

736
00:44:34,166 --> 00:44:36,166
Oh, uh, I just wanted--

737
00:44:36,166 --> 00:44:38,125
I wanted to try, uh,
this joke out on you.

738
00:44:38,125 --> 00:44:41,417
It's, well, uh-- it's--
well, the delivery

739
00:44:41,417 --> 00:44:44,417
is kind of tricky, so...

740
00:44:44,417 --> 00:44:45,583
(clears throat)

741
00:44:45,583 --> 00:44:50,333
What happens is that
the Queen of England

742
00:44:50,333 --> 00:44:52,625
goes onto this-- this
television show, and--

743
00:44:52,625 --> 00:44:55,333
Listen, I'm almost done
with this chapter.

744
00:44:55,333 --> 00:44:57,750
It's Thomas Aquinas.

745
00:44:57,750 --> 00:45:00,208
But if you continue telling
me that filthy joke,

746
00:45:00,208 --> 00:45:03,417
I'm gonna put this book down
and punch you very hard.

747
00:45:07,708 --> 00:45:11,333
You know, some-- well,
someday you'll find love

748
00:45:11,333 --> 00:45:14,792
and then-- then everything
will be different.

749
00:45:17,125 --> 00:45:20,291
♪ ♪

750
00:45:24,542 --> 00:45:25,625
(sighs)

751
00:45:42,792 --> 00:45:44,333
Mas-- mas--

752
00:45:44,333 --> 00:45:47,458
Uh, masturbation is
a natural precursor
of adult sexual development

753
00:45:47,458 --> 00:45:49,875
and it should be unfettered
in a child's learning.

754
00:45:49,875 --> 00:45:51,834
Johnson, '98.

755
00:45:51,834 --> 00:45:52,917
Her plans changed.

756
00:45:52,917 --> 00:45:55,000
Father:
Virginia says to keep
on working hard

757
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:58,041
and she'll call you
to let you know when you
should come on over.

758
00:45:58,041 --> 00:46:00,750
Well, because the Hazlet
Tournament is almost here, and--

759
00:46:00,750 --> 00:46:03,959
Just keep on keeping on
and maybe she'll call you.

760
00:46:12,834 --> 00:46:14,250
(doorbell rings)

761
00:46:14,250 --> 00:46:15,500
Hi, there.

762
00:46:15,500 --> 00:46:18,291
Do you know-- do you know
if Ginny Ryerson is okay?

763
00:46:18,291 --> 00:46:20,083
Because she
canceled our time today

764
00:46:20,083 --> 00:46:22,500
and we have a--
we have a big tournament
coming up

765
00:46:22,500 --> 00:46:25,917
at Hazlet High School,
and all the major Jersey
schools will be there.

766
00:46:25,917 --> 00:46:30,250
And I-- and, uh, she hasn't--
she hasn't really, uh,

767
00:46:30,250 --> 00:46:33,125
told me what her strategy
is gonna be to help me

768
00:46:33,125 --> 00:46:35,041
deal with my--
with my speech.

769
00:46:35,041 --> 00:46:37,875
Lewis:
She got into a Lincoln
with that Indian guy.

770
00:46:50,041 --> 00:46:52,708
And you're back.
Is Ginny all right?

771
00:46:52,708 --> 00:46:54,542
Because Lewis Garrles
from across the street

772
00:46:54,542 --> 00:46:56,875
said she got into a Lincoln
with an Indian man.

773
00:46:56,875 --> 00:46:58,291
A boy, that's right.

774
00:46:58,291 --> 00:47:01,166
So, she-- but she's fine?
Fine.

775
00:47:01,166 --> 00:47:02,667
You, could--
will you just tell her

776
00:47:02,667 --> 00:47:06,667
that-- that I'm done and over
with the masturbation defense?

777
00:47:06,667 --> 00:47:08,667
Tell her that, will you?
Just assure her

778
00:47:08,667 --> 00:47:10,583
that I'm--
that I'm-- that I'm--

779
00:47:10,583 --> 00:47:13,792
that I'm done with
masturbation and I'm
ready to show her.

780
00:47:13,792 --> 00:47:15,875
You take care now.

781
00:47:20,708 --> 00:47:23,917
I told Judge Pete
about all the fun
you've been having

782
00:47:23,917 --> 00:47:26,041
with debate,
and guess the news?

783
00:47:26,041 --> 00:47:27,875
Heston's a joiner.

784
00:47:31,333 --> 00:47:33,583
Uh, yeah, um--

785
00:47:33,583 --> 00:47:35,750
it's-- it's too late,
Heston.

786
00:47:35,750 --> 00:47:37,875
The, um--

787
00:47:37,875 --> 00:47:40,542
the teams have
all been settled.

788
00:47:40,542 --> 00:47:43,000
Coach Lumbly said that after
the first tournament

789
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:45,750
someone always gets creamed
and never comes back.

790
00:47:45,750 --> 00:47:48,083
So, I'll be
filling that slot,

791
00:47:48,083 --> 00:47:50,250
whomevers that may be.

792
00:47:50,250 --> 00:47:53,417
To discover opportunity

793
00:47:53,417 --> 00:47:55,583
in misery.

794
00:47:55,583 --> 00:47:57,625
There's sense
in that.

795
00:47:57,625 --> 00:48:00,041
That's how
I found you, my love.

796
00:48:00,041 --> 00:48:02,291
(laughs)

797
00:48:05,875 --> 00:48:07,959
(phone ringing)

798
00:48:09,792 --> 00:48:12,500
Hello?
Connie Ryerson speaking.

799
00:48:12,500 --> 00:48:14,375
(exhales)

800
00:48:14,375 --> 00:48:17,500
Uh...
(breathing heavily)

801
00:48:17,500 --> 00:48:19,959
Virgil?
Is that you?

802
00:48:19,959 --> 00:48:21,667
Uh!

803
00:48:21,667 --> 00:48:23,792
Uh...

804
00:48:23,792 --> 00:48:25,708
uh, uh...

805
00:48:25,708 --> 00:48:28,500
uh, this is, uh--
this, uh--

806
00:48:28,500 --> 00:48:31,625
this is, uh--
this is...

807
00:48:31,625 --> 00:48:34,792
Hal Hefner for, um-- for--

808
00:48:34,792 --> 00:48:38,250
call-- I'm--
I'm calling for, uh...

809
00:48:38,250 --> 00:48:40,792
G-I-N-N-Y--
Ginny.

810
00:48:40,792 --> 00:48:42,875
Connie:
Hold the line.

811
00:48:45,166 --> 00:48:48,041
(softly)
Hi, Ginny. It's Hal.

812
00:48:48,041 --> 00:48:50,667
Hey, Hef here.
What's up?

813
00:48:50,667 --> 00:48:52,375
Connie:
Hal?

814
00:48:52,375 --> 00:48:55,375
Uh, yeah--
yeah?

815
00:48:55,375 --> 00:48:58,875
She says she'll see you
at the debate tomorrow. Okay?

816
00:48:58,875 --> 00:49:00,333
Okay, well,
we--

817
00:49:00,333 --> 00:49:02,500
we-- um, I really--
I really--

818
00:49:02,500 --> 00:49:05,500
we-- I really--
we need to, uh--

819
00:49:05,500 --> 00:49:06,750
practice with her.

820
00:49:06,750 --> 00:49:08,667
Connie:
She'll see you then.

821
00:49:08,667 --> 00:49:11,667
(hangs up)
Hello?

822
00:49:11,667 --> 00:49:15,166
Good morning, Judge.
Good morning, our esteemed
opponents.

823
00:49:15,166 --> 00:49:17,500
N-- let's--

824
00:49:17,500 --> 00:49:20,041
(sighs)
Let's begin with our plan.

825
00:49:21,542 --> 00:49:24,875
That the federal
government should--
(banging on wall)

826
00:49:24,875 --> 00:49:26,417
Earl:
Shut the mumbling, Susie.

827
00:49:26,417 --> 00:49:28,708
But do not stop working,
because if you fail tomorrow,

828
00:49:28,708 --> 00:49:32,375
the whole Hefner family fails
too, and I am not a failure.

829
00:49:32,375 --> 00:49:34,625
So do not do it!

830
00:49:34,625 --> 00:49:36,583
Uh...

831
00:49:37,542 --> 00:49:38,875
good morning there,
judge.

832
00:49:38,875 --> 00:49:41,667
Good morning,
our esteemed opponents.

833
00:49:46,792 --> 00:49:49,041
(kids chatting)

834
00:49:59,417 --> 00:50:01,041
(clears throat)

835
00:50:03,667 --> 00:50:06,083
Lumbly:
When you work
so hard at something,

836
00:50:06,083 --> 00:50:08,542
so hard,
all that extra time--

837
00:50:08,542 --> 00:50:12,250
Wallace, you always tell me
balance out, balance out,
balance out--

838
00:50:12,250 --> 00:50:14,834
What are you
talking about?

839
00:50:14,834 --> 00:50:17,708
Ginny Ryerson has transferred
to Townsend Prep

840
00:50:17,708 --> 00:50:19,417
for the rest
of her senior year.

841
00:50:21,417 --> 00:50:24,834
We have an even number
so, Hal, you'll muddle through
today with Heston

842
00:50:24,834 --> 00:50:27,917
and we'll reconstitute
the teams tomorrow.

843
00:50:28,959 --> 00:50:30,875
Let's go, Wallace.

844
00:50:30,875 --> 00:50:32,708
(doors shut)

845
00:50:32,708 --> 00:50:37,458
♪ ♪

846
00:50:54,875 --> 00:50:58,333
Heston:
Would you like to tell me
what our affirmative case is?

847
00:50:58,333 --> 00:51:01,000
Or would you rather
it be a surprise?

848
00:51:35,667 --> 00:51:38,333
(students chatting)

849
00:51:52,667 --> 00:51:54,500
(clears throat)

850
00:52:02,083 --> 00:52:03,500
Uh...

851
00:52:04,917 --> 00:52:08,417
Good-- good--
good morning there, judge.

852
00:52:08,417 --> 00:52:11,375
good, uh-- good--
good--

853
00:52:11,375 --> 00:52:13,792
good morning to you, uh...

854
00:52:13,792 --> 00:52:16,792
both, you,
our esteemed opponents.

855
00:52:16,792 --> 00:52:19,041
Good morning, uh...

856
00:52:21,667 --> 00:52:23,583
(sighs)

857
00:52:28,708 --> 00:52:31,083
The--

858
00:52:31,083 --> 00:52:33,500
ab-- ab--

859
00:52:33,500 --> 00:52:35,208
(paper flutters)

860
00:52:37,667 --> 00:52:38,917
That, uh--

861
00:52:38,917 --> 00:52:40,875
resolved that-- that--

862
00:52:40,875 --> 00:52:43,708
that-- that-- that--
that, uh--

863
00:52:43,708 --> 00:52:46,583
that it, uh...

864
00:52:46,583 --> 00:52:49,708
(sighs)
how much time, timer?

865
00:52:52,750 --> 00:52:54,917
(phone rings)

866
00:52:56,834 --> 00:52:58,208
Yeah, hello?

867
00:52:58,208 --> 00:53:02,041
Hal:
Mr.-- Mr.-- uh--
um, Mr.--

868
00:53:02,041 --> 00:53:04,583
Hal?
What's the matter?

869
00:53:04,583 --> 00:53:06,834
It's-- it's, uh--
it's, uh,

870
00:53:06,834 --> 00:53:10,041
well, it's funny
that you ask, actually.

871
00:53:10,041 --> 00:53:13,667
Um, I've-- I'm just--
I'm just here at, um--

872
00:53:13,667 --> 00:53:16,792
I'm at-- I'm at--
I'm at Hazlet--

873
00:53:16,792 --> 00:53:18,917
Hazlet High School,
at the debate.

874
00:53:18,917 --> 00:53:22,500
And I spent the last-- I've--

875
00:53:22,500 --> 00:53:25,208
I spent the last seven minutes
of my round-one speech

876
00:53:25,208 --> 00:53:27,542
trying-- trying
to say the resolution.

877
00:53:27,542 --> 00:53:29,583
Oh, man.
Yeah.

878
00:53:29,583 --> 00:53:34,041
Well, there's that video
I gave you, "Singing Instead
of Talking."

879
00:53:34,041 --> 00:53:38,708
Yeah, did, uh-- did
rat poison and a straw
come with that video?

880
00:53:38,708 --> 00:53:41,500
Well, my ex-girlfriend,
the PhD at Annenberg,

881
00:53:41,500 --> 00:53:45,625
she used to say her
brother never stuttered
if he spoke in an accent.

882
00:53:45,625 --> 00:53:48,291
You could try the accent
you know best,

883
00:53:48,291 --> 00:53:50,583
and maybe that
would help?

884
00:53:50,583 --> 00:53:52,583
Well, anyway,
I wouldn't count on it.

885
00:53:52,583 --> 00:53:55,291
Mina's advice was about
as far-fetched as she was.

886
00:53:55,291 --> 00:53:58,000
You know, open
relationships just...

887
00:53:58,000 --> 00:53:59,834
don't work, Hal.

888
00:53:59,834 --> 00:54:01,834
What?

889
00:54:01,834 --> 00:54:03,458
Uh, I'm advising...

890
00:54:03,458 --> 00:54:07,000
that you should
try to do an accent.

891
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:08,959
Okay?
If I do that,

892
00:54:08,959 --> 00:54:11,708
you won't see--
you won't see me on Monday.

893
00:54:11,708 --> 00:54:15,250
'Cause I'll already be--
I'll be on a--

894
00:54:15,250 --> 00:54:17,708
I'll probably be
on a plane to--

895
00:54:18,875 --> 00:54:20,792
Can you hold on
for a sec?

896
00:54:30,834 --> 00:54:32,500
Okay, should--

897
00:54:32,500 --> 00:54:34,750
I should, mayb--
maybe I should--

898
00:54:34,750 --> 00:54:36,333
I should probably go.

899
00:54:45,667 --> 00:54:47,625
(clears throat)

900
00:54:51,834 --> 00:54:54,500
(clears throat)

901
00:54:58,166 --> 00:55:00,083
(Asian accent)
Good afternoon,

902
00:55:00,083 --> 00:55:02,542
esteemed opponents
from Glen Rock.

903
00:55:02,542 --> 00:55:07,542
Good afternoon.
Let's get our-- let--

904
00:55:07,542 --> 00:55:10,208
let's, uh--
let-- let--

905
00:55:10,208 --> 00:55:13,750
let's get, uh, down and--
down and-- down and dirty,

906
00:55:13,750 --> 00:55:16,083
shall we, with this--
this thing--

907
00:55:16,083 --> 00:55:19,917
this thing-- this thing--
this thing I'll call our plan.

908
00:55:27,041 --> 00:55:28,542
(normal voice)
Excuse me, I'm--

909
00:55:28,542 --> 00:55:30,083
I'm-- I'm--

910
00:55:30,083 --> 00:55:33,375
I'm-- I'm really sorry.

911
00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:37,750
Woman:
Slice of pizza
or sloppy joes,

912
00:55:37,750 --> 00:55:39,083
and I don't want
to debate about it.

913
00:55:39,083 --> 00:55:40,792
Boy:
I'll take the pizza.

914
00:55:44,417 --> 00:55:47,750
Townsend Prep's
just a really,
really good school.

915
00:55:49,625 --> 00:55:51,625
Woman:
Slice of pizza
or sloppy joes,

916
00:55:51,625 --> 00:55:53,458
and I don't want
to debate you on it.

917
00:55:53,458 --> 00:55:54,917
Boy:
Pizza, two slices.

918
00:55:56,542 --> 00:56:00,083
Slice of pizza, sloppy joes,
and I don't want to debate
about it.

919
00:56:00,083 --> 00:56:01,834
Um...

920
00:56:01,834 --> 00:56:04,291
I'll--
I'll have the--

921
00:56:04,291 --> 00:56:07,000
Not the-- the, um--

922
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:08,542
The, um...
We're out of pizza.

923
00:56:08,542 --> 00:56:10,500
Sloppy joes are
all that's left.

924
00:56:10,500 --> 00:56:14,458
But they're not that
terrible if you've never had
really good ones before.

925
00:56:15,750 --> 00:56:17,542
Thank you, ma'am.

926
00:56:17,542 --> 00:56:22,125
♪ Do you love me, baby? ♪

927
00:56:22,125 --> 00:56:26,291
♪ Do you
love me, baby? ♪

928
00:56:26,291 --> 00:56:28,875
♪ Do you love me? ♪

929
00:56:28,875 --> 00:56:33,792
♪ As I love you? ♪

930
00:56:33,792 --> 00:56:36,417
She's not here.

931
00:56:36,417 --> 00:56:38,458
Ginny and I don't
eat at tournaments--

932
00:56:38,458 --> 00:56:40,500
Draws blood
from the brain.

933
00:56:45,291 --> 00:56:48,625
(boy speaking rapidly)

934
00:56:50,333 --> 00:56:52,125
...will cause
special love in adulthood.

935
00:56:52,125 --> 00:56:54,959
(continues speaking
rapidly)

936
00:56:56,208 --> 00:57:00,583
♪ Or do you have me, baby? ♪

937
00:57:00,583 --> 00:57:05,125
♪ Do you hate me, baby? ♪

938
00:57:05,125 --> 00:57:07,583
♪ Do you hate me? ♪

939
00:57:07,583 --> 00:57:11,166
♪ As I hate you? ♪

940
00:57:14,458 --> 00:57:21,667
♪ I don't want it
in between ♪

941
00:57:21,667 --> 00:57:23,667
(gagging)

942
00:57:23,667 --> 00:57:30,333
♪ I will keep
my feelings clean ♪

943
00:57:30,333 --> 00:57:32,667
I just--
I don't--

944
00:57:32,667 --> 00:57:35,834
I don't really know
what to do here.

945
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:40,083
Well, um,
this is the girls' room.

946
00:57:40,083 --> 00:57:41,750
So...

947
00:57:41,750 --> 00:57:43,875
Okay.

948
00:57:45,041 --> 00:57:47,375
(applause)

949
00:57:48,542 --> 00:57:52,542
I want to read, also,
what one judge wrote

950
00:57:52,542 --> 00:57:55,166
about Virginia.
She wrote:

951
00:57:55,166 --> 00:57:59,500
"Virginia may be
the next Barbara Jordan."

952
00:57:59,500 --> 00:58:01,542
How about that?

953
00:58:02,542 --> 00:58:05,291
First place,
individual speaker--

954
00:58:05,291 --> 00:58:07,750
Virginia Ryerson.

955
00:58:17,542 --> 00:58:20,583
(whispering)
Where's the trophy?

956
00:58:21,542 --> 00:58:24,083
(laughing uncomfortably)

957
00:58:26,333 --> 00:58:28,750
Thank you.

958
00:58:36,792 --> 00:58:39,917
Hal Hefner,
stay a moment, would you?

959
00:58:49,750 --> 00:58:51,792
I'm gonna regroup.

960
00:58:51,792 --> 00:58:54,333
Um, let's be
adults here

961
00:58:54,333 --> 00:58:57,542
and think about who
could use...

962
00:58:57,542 --> 00:59:00,000
a little time
on the sidelines.

963
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:02,750
Ginny recruited me.

964
00:59:04,834 --> 00:59:08,417
Okay?
She intuited--

965
00:59:09,291 --> 00:59:11,583
intuited that I--
that I--

966
00:59:11,583 --> 00:59:15,041
that my-- that my brain
was made for this.

967
00:59:15,041 --> 00:59:18,125
I mean, you can't even--
you can't even ask me
a question

968
00:59:18,125 --> 00:59:21,583
without my brain
filling up with retorts.

969
00:59:21,583 --> 00:59:24,291
It's-- it's full
of retorts.

970
00:59:24,291 --> 00:59:26,500
Do you know
Mento Buin,

971
00:59:26,500 --> 00:59:29,291
who doesn't speak more
than six words of English?

972
00:59:30,542 --> 00:59:32,667
Or Evie Spedarsky,

973
00:59:32,667 --> 00:59:35,125
who has such pronounced
irritable bowel syndrome

974
00:59:35,125 --> 00:59:37,750
that she's being studied
by a team at Princeton?

975
00:59:37,750 --> 00:59:38,875
No.

976
00:59:38,875 --> 00:59:40,667
What about
Elvis Hunsinger,

977
00:59:40,667 --> 00:59:42,792
the boy who pees
himself in gym class?

978
00:59:42,792 --> 00:59:45,291
Well, everybody knows...

979
00:59:45,291 --> 00:59:46,750
Elvis.

980
00:59:46,750 --> 00:59:49,125
She tried
to recruit them all.

981
00:59:49,125 --> 00:59:53,667
Never crossed my
mind that this could
be some scheme of hers,

982
00:59:53,667 --> 00:59:55,959
but, when you
think about it,

983
00:59:55,959 --> 00:59:58,708
looks pretty pat.

984
01:00:07,583 --> 01:00:12,542
♪ ♪

985
01:00:12,542 --> 01:00:15,333
♪ I need someone,
a person to talk to ♪

986
01:00:15,333 --> 01:00:17,583
♪ Someone who'd care to love ♪

987
01:00:17,583 --> 01:00:22,166
♪ Could it be you?
Could it be you? ♪

988
01:00:23,875 --> 01:00:26,834
Pete:
Your mom's running late
but wants us to--

989
01:00:26,834 --> 01:00:28,708
hey, now.

990
01:00:30,208 --> 01:00:32,500
Wait a minute.
Let me see.

991
01:00:33,792 --> 01:00:35,708
Oh, Jesus!

992
01:00:35,708 --> 01:00:37,792
Man, oh man!

993
01:00:37,792 --> 01:00:40,875
The most Heston
ever hauled in was
an honorable mention

994
01:00:40,875 --> 01:00:42,750
in the hip-hop
danceathon.

995
01:00:42,750 --> 01:00:45,667
But this is too much
coming from you!

996
01:00:45,667 --> 01:00:47,917
On behalf of your dad.

997
01:00:54,625 --> 01:00:58,667
This goes on the dining
room table for your mom
to see when she gets home.

998
01:00:58,667 --> 01:01:02,041
(laughs)
Whoo!

999
01:01:02,041 --> 01:01:06,875
♪ ♪

1000
01:01:06,875 --> 01:01:09,542
♪ Well, darling, this is it ♪

1001
01:01:11,208 --> 01:01:13,917
♪ You can all just kiss
off into the air ♪

1002
01:01:13,917 --> 01:01:16,542
♪ Behind my back,
I can see them stare ♪

1003
01:01:16,542 --> 01:01:19,250
♪ They'll hurt me bad,
but I won't mind ♪

1004
01:01:19,250 --> 01:01:21,917
♪ They'll hurt me bad,
they do it all the time ♪

1005
01:01:21,917 --> 01:01:23,000
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

1006
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:24,500
♪ Yeah, they do it
all the time ♪

1007
01:01:24,500 --> 01:01:26,333
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
(gagging)

1008
01:01:26,333 --> 01:01:28,750
♪ They do it all the time ♪
♪ Do it all the time ♪

1009
01:01:28,750 --> 01:01:30,417
♪ They do it all the time ♪

1010
01:01:30,417 --> 01:01:31,834
♪ Do it all the time ♪

1011
01:01:31,834 --> 01:01:35,542
♪ They do it all the time ♪
♪ Do it all the time ♪

1012
01:01:37,750 --> 01:01:40,417
My dad told me I was
the world's utmost idiot

1013
01:01:40,417 --> 01:01:43,291
for not realizing
you won something today.

1014
01:01:43,291 --> 01:01:46,708
Please accept
my belated congratulations.

1015
01:01:47,875 --> 01:01:50,291
♪ I hope you know that this ♪

1016
01:01:50,291 --> 01:01:53,458
♪ Will go down
on your permanent record ♪

1017
01:01:53,458 --> 01:01:55,792
(pounding)

1018
01:01:55,792 --> 01:01:57,083
♪ Oh, yeah? ♪

1019
01:01:57,083 --> 01:01:59,708
♪ Well, don't get
so distressed ♪

1020
01:01:59,708 --> 01:02:02,166
Hello?
Hello, Sylvia.

1021
01:02:02,166 --> 01:02:06,166
Fern didn't say anything
about Lewis's friends
stopping by!

1022
01:02:06,166 --> 01:02:08,667
I get paid
per kid!

1023
01:02:42,792 --> 01:02:45,333
She can't be
going to bed.

1024
01:02:45,333 --> 01:02:46,375
(slurps)

1025
01:02:46,375 --> 01:02:48,875
♪ I take one, one,
one 'cause you left me ♪

1026
01:02:48,875 --> 01:02:51,417
♪ And two, two,
two for my family ♪

1027
01:02:51,417 --> 01:02:54,291
♪ And three, three,
three for my heartache ♪

1028
01:02:54,291 --> 01:02:57,333
♪ And four, four,
four for my headaches ♪

1029
01:02:57,333 --> 01:03:00,250
♪ And five, five,
five for my lonely ♪

1030
01:03:00,250 --> 01:03:02,667
♪ And six, six,
six for my sorrow ♪

1031
01:03:02,667 --> 01:03:05,667
♪ And seven,
seven for n-n-no tomorrow ♪

1032
01:03:05,667 --> 01:03:08,417
♪ And eight, eight,
I forget what eight was for ♪

1033
01:03:08,417 --> 01:03:11,417
♪ But nine, nine,
nine for the lost gods ♪

1034
01:03:11,417 --> 01:03:13,625
Resolved!
♪ Ten, ten, ten, ten ♪

1035
01:03:13,625 --> 01:03:15,708
♪ For everything,
everything, everything! ♪

1036
01:03:15,708 --> 01:03:17,542
(screams)

1037
01:03:17,542 --> 01:03:19,834
♪ You can all just
kiss off into the air ♪

1038
01:03:19,834 --> 01:03:22,750
♪ Behind my back,
I can see them stare ♪

1039
01:03:22,750 --> 01:03:25,041
♪ They'll hurt me bad,
but I won't mind ♪

1040
01:03:25,041 --> 01:03:28,417
(screams)
♪ They'll hurt me bad,
they do it all the time ♪

1041
01:03:28,417 --> 01:03:29,500
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

1042
01:03:29,500 --> 01:03:31,333
♪ Yeah, they do it
all the time ♪

1043
01:03:31,333 --> 01:03:33,375
(screams)
♪ Do it all the time ♪

1044
01:03:37,625 --> 01:03:40,875
Sylvia, no tip
for you tonight.

1045
01:03:46,875 --> 01:03:48,208
Fuck!

1046
01:03:54,875 --> 01:03:57,667
(brakes squeal)

1047
01:04:01,041 --> 01:04:04,041
(door alarm beeping)

1048
01:04:07,708 --> 01:04:10,250
There's a cello
in your house now.

1049
01:04:10,250 --> 01:04:13,917
♪ ♪

1050
01:04:59,917 --> 01:05:01,458
(pounding)
I hate you!

1051
01:05:01,458 --> 01:05:04,291
Mommy and
Judge Pete hate you!
(water running)

1052
01:05:04,291 --> 01:05:06,166
Daddy hates you!

1053
01:05:06,166 --> 01:05:09,834
Melody, daddy's new
girlfriend, hates you.

1054
01:05:09,834 --> 01:05:13,417
That bottle was
Reposado, you doofus dunce!

1055
01:05:13,417 --> 01:05:16,083
Uncle Chaz spent
big bucks on that.

1056
01:05:16,083 --> 01:05:18,291
(pounding)
Uncle Chaz hates you!

1057
01:05:25,834 --> 01:05:28,333
That's all I wanted
to say.

1058
01:05:29,834 --> 01:05:33,250
There's pineapple cake
in the fridge.

1059
01:05:33,250 --> 01:05:36,667
If you're late,
I'll eat the whole cake,
so don't be late.

1060
01:05:58,375 --> 01:06:03,208
Maybe you should put
the whole debate thing
behind you?

1061
01:06:03,208 --> 01:06:06,667
All a--
a lark of adolescence.

1062
01:06:06,667 --> 01:06:08,542
We all have 'em.

1063
01:06:08,542 --> 01:06:12,542
Mine was cheerleading.

1064
01:06:14,041 --> 01:06:16,542
I was the one boy
on the cheerleading squad.

1065
01:06:16,542 --> 01:06:18,583
Imagine that, huh?

1066
01:06:18,583 --> 01:06:21,417
Give me a "H," uh-uh-uh.
Give me a "A,"

1067
01:06:21,417 --> 01:06:24,208
uh-uh-uh.
Give me a "L," uh-uh-uh.

1068
01:06:24,208 --> 01:06:27,166
What does that spell? Hal.

1069
01:06:27,166 --> 01:06:30,750
That-- that image is--

1070
01:06:30,750 --> 01:06:32,583
is not really helping.

1071
01:06:32,583 --> 01:06:36,417
Just-- just because
debate was a wipeout,

1072
01:06:36,417 --> 01:06:39,375
I mean, you know,
a colossal wipeout,

1073
01:06:39,375 --> 01:06:42,500
doesn't mean
that you're a failure.

1074
01:06:42,500 --> 01:06:45,083
It's the activity
that failed you.

1075
01:06:45,083 --> 01:06:48,667
Hey, there's nothing
to say you couldn't try
for the Spanish Club.

1076
01:06:48,667 --> 01:06:51,500
You could be Spanish Club
vice president in no time.

1077
01:06:51,500 --> 01:06:54,750
Kyle Felowitz
is el vice presidente.

1078
01:06:55,708 --> 01:06:56,750
Yeah.

1079
01:06:56,750 --> 01:06:58,917
My point, Hal,
is that

1080
01:06:58,917 --> 01:07:01,208
you have to get out
of your own way here, man,

1081
01:07:01,208 --> 01:07:04,458
go back to living
the way you were before
you tried to exceed

1082
01:07:04,458 --> 01:07:07,917
your-- your limitations.

1083
01:07:07,917 --> 01:07:11,917
♪ ♪

1084
01:07:14,583 --> 01:07:16,875
Narrator:
Hal Hefner floated
above his life,

1085
01:07:16,875 --> 01:07:20,500
saw the world around him
as if he were just a ghost

1086
01:07:20,500 --> 01:07:22,166
floating through.

1087
01:07:22,166 --> 01:07:24,125
Nothing could
harm him now.

1088
01:07:24,125 --> 01:07:27,583
Nothing could move him
or make him love again.

1089
01:07:28,458 --> 01:07:29,792
He was that kind
of ghost.

1090
01:07:29,792 --> 01:07:32,959
The kind that
couldn't love again.

1091
01:07:36,625 --> 01:07:39,375
...go to observation 1-A.

1092
01:07:39,375 --> 01:07:41,959
The diversion is the norm.

1093
01:07:44,166 --> 01:07:46,583
Quoting from the "Journal
of Adult Sexuality" '74:

1094
01:07:46,583 --> 01:07:49,500
The root cause of sexual
dysfunction are many...

1095
01:07:50,792 --> 01:07:52,375
Narrator:
As a boy ghost,

1096
01:07:52,375 --> 01:07:55,125
Hal Hefner surveyed
the world as he knew it.

1097
01:07:55,125 --> 01:07:58,792
And in everything
he saw was evidence
that life goes on

1098
01:07:58,792 --> 01:08:01,333
with or without love.

1099
01:08:01,333 --> 01:08:04,542
He had stopped
thinking about the girl,

1100
01:08:04,542 --> 01:08:07,500
had stopped
dreaming about her,

1101
01:08:07,500 --> 01:08:09,959
or, even if that wasn't
entirely true,

1102
01:08:09,959 --> 01:08:13,792
had stopped dreaming
a certain kind of dream
about her.

1103
01:08:14,834 --> 01:08:17,583
Well, maybe
most of the time.

1104
01:08:17,583 --> 01:08:20,417
(birds chirping)

1105
01:08:20,417 --> 01:08:22,000
Then spring came--

1106
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:24,375
11 months after
his father left,

1107
01:08:24,375 --> 01:08:27,542
six months since
he last saw Ginny,

1108
01:08:27,542 --> 01:08:29,959
and six since
they'd kissed.

1109
01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:36,000
(door opens)

1110
01:08:51,625 --> 01:08:53,708
(door slams)
Pete: Over and over again!

1111
01:08:53,708 --> 01:08:56,000
Just stop!
Mother: I just want us
to be buddies.

1112
01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:59,208
Pete:
Be buddies with yourself!

1113
01:09:00,708 --> 01:09:02,542
Boys...

1114
01:09:02,542 --> 01:09:05,083
Your mom and I are over.
That's according to her.

1115
01:09:05,083 --> 01:09:08,917
She said that
it was all her,
that it's always all her

1116
01:09:08,917 --> 01:09:11,417
and could we be buddies?
Jules: This is
a very complicated

1117
01:09:11,417 --> 01:09:13,458
adult relationship.
(screams)

1118
01:09:13,458 --> 01:09:15,542
This is why
your dad left.

1119
01:09:15,542 --> 01:09:17,959
You're just so messed up!

1120
01:09:17,959 --> 01:09:20,667
(Pete crying)

1121
01:09:22,041 --> 01:09:24,708
(whimpering)

1122
01:09:27,625 --> 01:09:30,166
(sobbing)

1123
01:09:34,125 --> 01:09:35,959
(groans)

1124
01:09:37,500 --> 01:09:38,959
Shit!

1125
01:09:40,250 --> 01:09:42,708
Good god!

1126
01:09:47,208 --> 01:09:49,750
♪ ♪

1127
01:10:04,792 --> 01:10:07,750
Mommy! Mommy!
Hal's freaking out
in the garage!

1128
01:10:07,750 --> 01:10:10,250
This is gonna turn out bad.
I can feel it.

1129
01:10:10,250 --> 01:10:12,708
Virginia Ryerson, please
come to the main office.

1130
01:10:12,708 --> 01:10:17,083
Virginia Ryerson,
you have a visitor
in the main office.

1131
01:10:23,250 --> 01:10:24,959
Are you
her little brother?

1132
01:10:24,959 --> 01:10:27,792
You look like you could
be her little brother.

1133
01:10:28,917 --> 01:10:31,583
I'm--
I'm her ex-lover.

1134
01:10:31,583 --> 01:10:34,917
Take a seat.
She'll be with you
in a minute.

1135
01:10:43,959 --> 01:10:46,166
So how far did you
get with her?

1136
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:53,291
Does-- does it count
as second base

1137
01:10:53,291 --> 01:10:55,500
when it's groping
through the shirt?

1138
01:10:56,667 --> 01:10:59,291
Maybe in public school.

1139
01:10:59,291 --> 01:11:02,500
What are you doing here?

1140
01:11:02,500 --> 01:11:05,166
Oh, uh, uh...

1141
01:11:05,166 --> 01:11:06,834
I--

1142
01:11:06,834 --> 01:11:10,542
I have, uh--
it's spring break
at Plainsboro.

1143
01:11:10,542 --> 01:11:13,333
I have--
I have the-- the day off.

1144
01:11:14,625 --> 01:11:16,667
Okay.

1145
01:11:18,542 --> 01:11:21,000
I'm going back
to AP Latin now.

1146
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:24,000
Wait-- I'm-- I'm
returning this to you.

1147
01:11:25,083 --> 01:11:28,041
It belongs
to you and--

1148
01:11:28,041 --> 01:11:31,291
and it's important
to me that you have it.

1149
01:11:32,667 --> 01:11:35,041
It's your Hazlet trophy.

1150
01:11:38,583 --> 01:11:42,125
I had a bad night,
but I'm better now.

1151
01:11:42,125 --> 01:11:44,166
I don't want the trophy.

1152
01:11:44,166 --> 01:11:46,583
I'm-- I'm gonna
go back to class.
You need to leave.

1153
01:11:46,583 --> 01:11:48,625
Wait-- every--
every-- every--

1154
01:11:48,625 --> 01:11:50,542
Everybody has
their own path!

1155
01:11:50,542 --> 01:11:53,917
And, uh...

1156
01:11:56,708 --> 01:11:59,708
Receptionist:
Security, please report
to the main office.

1157
01:11:59,708 --> 01:12:01,375
Need you to deal with a...

1158
01:12:01,375 --> 01:12:04,208
stuttering boy
in the main office.

1159
01:12:04,208 --> 01:12:07,083
Narrator:
It was like he was pretending,

1160
01:12:07,083 --> 01:12:10,041
pretending that it could
all be what it was.

1161
01:12:10,041 --> 01:12:11,500
But it can't.

1162
01:12:11,500 --> 01:12:14,208
You can only pretend for so
long before the forces that be

1163
01:12:14,208 --> 01:12:16,375
take that away from you.

1164
01:12:20,125 --> 01:12:22,333
Just like that,
it took off

1165
01:12:22,333 --> 01:12:24,125
and he found
himself sprinting.

1166
01:12:24,125 --> 01:12:26,667
It was ridiculous,
but he did-- he sprinted.

1167
01:12:26,667 --> 01:12:29,959
♪ ♪

1168
01:12:32,959 --> 01:12:37,291
You don't let love
collapse all around you
and not put up a fight.

1169
01:12:37,291 --> 01:12:38,834
You punch back,

1170
01:12:38,834 --> 01:12:43,041
unless you can find
someone else to throw
the punch for you.

1171
01:12:43,041 --> 01:12:45,458
Then, by all means,
do that.

1172
01:12:49,250 --> 01:12:50,583
Yeah?

1173
01:12:52,333 --> 01:12:55,667
Uh, I'm-- I'm here
from Plainsboro High,

1174
01:12:55,667 --> 01:12:59,792
and I've-- I've, uh--
I've come here to find you.

1175
01:13:00,750 --> 01:13:02,291
Wait in the front
if you care to.

1176
01:13:02,291 --> 01:13:04,291
My shift ends
on the hour.

1177
01:13:04,291 --> 01:13:05,583
Oh, I care to.

1178
01:13:05,583 --> 01:13:08,291
Yeah, well, that's fine.
Wait in front.

1179
01:13:09,625 --> 01:13:12,083
(machine squeaks,
hums)

1180
01:13:17,083 --> 01:13:20,000
That's God
doing your dry-cleaning.

1181
01:13:22,125 --> 01:13:25,125
God does dry-cleaning.

1182
01:13:25,125 --> 01:13:28,500
He wears a smock.
(laughing)

1183
01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:41,792
Man, it's a blessing
to be squarely and dearly

1184
01:13:41,792 --> 01:13:45,000
out of the goddamn suburbs.

1185
01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:48,166
It'll suck the marrow right
from you, the suburbs will.

1186
01:13:48,166 --> 01:13:49,750
And it takes years

1187
01:13:49,750 --> 01:13:53,291
in the big city to inject
the life back into you.

1188
01:13:53,291 --> 01:13:55,125
Literal years.

1189
01:13:55,125 --> 01:13:58,166
You-- you mean,
the big city is--

1190
01:13:59,500 --> 01:14:01,000
is-- is Trenton?

1191
01:14:01,000 --> 01:14:04,125
That's right--
Trenton.

1192
01:14:04,125 --> 01:14:05,166
Oh.

1193
01:14:06,041 --> 01:14:07,959
Did Ginny send you?

1194
01:14:07,959 --> 01:14:11,041
Oh no, she doesn't--
she doesn't-- she doesn't
know anything.

1195
01:14:11,041 --> 01:14:13,417
Lumbly?
No, no. No.

1196
01:14:13,417 --> 01:14:17,000
Because if this is part
of a grand design to get
me back to school...

1197
01:14:18,583 --> 01:14:20,708
You smell that
bus exhaust?

1198
01:14:22,000 --> 01:14:23,708
That'll be what you
leave behind

1199
01:14:23,708 --> 01:14:26,708
on your way back
to Plainsboro without me.

1200
01:14:27,917 --> 01:14:30,000
Wait. The thing is,
is that, uh--

1201
01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:33,667
what I want-- what I want--
what I need is your help.

1202
01:14:33,667 --> 01:14:35,375
You don't even know me.

1203
01:14:36,250 --> 01:14:39,375
You-- you do realize
you're like--

1204
01:14:39,375 --> 01:14:42,208
you're like a legend
at PHS, right?

1205
01:14:42,208 --> 01:14:44,417
Right, I'm the next
Shelley Hasty.

1206
01:14:44,417 --> 01:14:46,708
Who is--
who's she?

1207
01:14:46,708 --> 01:14:49,917
He. He supposedly drove
a Chevy Nova

1208
01:14:49,917 --> 01:14:52,208
into the cafeteria
in 1986.

1209
01:14:52,208 --> 01:14:56,166
There's a plaque somewhere
next to a water fountain
in his honor.

1210
01:14:57,208 --> 01:14:58,125
Well...

1211
01:14:58,125 --> 01:15:01,375
I'm-- I'm gonna be
the next legend at PHS.

1212
01:15:02,834 --> 01:15:06,208
And that's--
that's not gonna happen
for me any other way

1213
01:15:06,208 --> 01:15:10,041
than to win--
uh, to win at States.

1214
01:15:12,667 --> 01:15:14,708
You're gonna
win at States?

1215
01:15:14,708 --> 01:15:16,583
Yes.

1216
01:15:16,583 --> 01:15:18,583
Well-- well-- well, uh...

1217
01:15:18,583 --> 01:15:20,875
we are, yes.

1218
01:15:22,834 --> 01:15:24,375
It's so pointless.

1219
01:15:24,375 --> 01:15:28,417
That's the realization
I came to at States
last year:

1220
01:15:28,417 --> 01:15:31,208
Life is nothing
but repetition,

1221
01:15:31,208 --> 01:15:33,083
the same thing
over and over.

1222
01:15:33,083 --> 01:15:34,500
Somebody might
give you a trophy

1223
01:15:34,500 --> 01:15:36,250
and that's supposed to mean
you're making progress,

1224
01:15:36,250 --> 01:15:38,458
but there's no such thing.
The fights you fight today

1225
01:15:38,458 --> 01:15:41,166
are the fights you
fight till you die.

1226
01:15:41,166 --> 01:15:43,875
Yeah, well, be--
be that as it may--

1227
01:15:43,875 --> 01:15:45,166
Sure.

1228
01:15:45,166 --> 01:15:47,000
Be that as it may.

1229
01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:50,542
Wait, it's not some
college-application bullshit

1230
01:15:50,542 --> 01:15:53,792
that is-- that's like
the driving force here,
or any bullshit.

1231
01:15:53,792 --> 01:15:55,834
I'm sure.

1232
01:16:10,875 --> 01:16:13,583
No, uh, do you want
to know what it is?

1233
01:16:13,583 --> 01:16:17,125
Yeah. What
it is, is...?

1234
01:16:17,125 --> 01:16:19,959
What it--
what it is, is--

1235
01:16:19,959 --> 01:16:21,750
uh, it's, uh--

1236
01:16:23,166 --> 01:16:25,166
is, uh, is--

1237
01:16:25,166 --> 01:16:28,375
No, what-- what it
is, is--

1238
01:16:28,375 --> 01:16:30,792
It's--
well, it's love.

1239
01:16:30,792 --> 01:16:33,166
Well, if it's
not that, then--

1240
01:16:33,166 --> 01:16:36,208
then it's the need
for-- for revenge

1241
01:16:36,208 --> 01:16:38,500
when-- when love
goes bad.

1242
01:16:38,500 --> 01:16:40,834
It's one of those two,
love or revenge.

1243
01:16:40,834 --> 01:16:42,333
I'm not really sure
which one.

1244
01:16:42,333 --> 01:16:44,000
But it's one
of those two things

1245
01:16:44,000 --> 01:16:47,166
that made me throw a cello
through somebody's window.
So you figure it out.

1246
01:16:47,166 --> 01:16:50,000
An actual cello?

1247
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:53,959
I mean, like, yeah,
like symphony-size,
as far as I know.

1248
01:16:53,959 --> 01:16:56,000
(laughs)

1249
01:16:56,000 --> 01:16:58,291
You know, that's pretty
sharp in my book,

1250
01:16:58,291 --> 01:17:00,500
as far as reasons go.

1251
01:17:00,500 --> 01:17:03,166
Yeah, it took
a bunch of throws,

1252
01:17:03,166 --> 01:17:07,083
but you know,
I'm good for a bunch.

1253
01:17:07,083 --> 01:17:08,583
Have I got this right?

1254
01:17:08,583 --> 01:17:11,041
Your contention is that
we should debate as a team?

1255
01:17:11,041 --> 01:17:13,959
You, an inexperienced
kid with a bad and
unpredictable stutter,

1256
01:17:13,959 --> 01:17:17,208
me, not having debated
at all this year and having
no knowledge of the resolution.

1257
01:17:17,208 --> 01:17:19,625
In support of this,
you basically offer up

1258
01:17:19,625 --> 01:17:22,208
that you threw a cello
through someone's window.

1259
01:17:22,208 --> 01:17:24,417
It's charming,
no question.

1260
01:17:24,417 --> 01:17:26,041
But is it persuasive?

1261
01:17:26,041 --> 01:17:28,583
Why not make the case

1262
01:17:28,583 --> 01:17:30,875
that, "A," allowing me
to return to States
and win this year

1263
01:17:30,875 --> 01:17:32,792
will tie up that loose end
so that I can forge ahead

1264
01:17:32,792 --> 01:17:34,166
free from any
of life's regrets;

1265
01:17:34,166 --> 01:17:36,041
"B," that charitable
enterprises such as this

1266
01:17:36,041 --> 01:17:37,625
would be the lifeblood
of advanced civilizations,

1267
01:17:37,625 --> 01:17:40,083
even, perhaps especially
in places like Trenton,
New Jersey;

1268
01:17:40,083 --> 01:17:42,375
and, "C,"
that while this life
here is infinitely preferable

1269
01:17:42,375 --> 01:17:44,041
to the wretchedness
of the suburbs,

1270
01:17:44,041 --> 01:17:46,750
it's also not quite what
I must have had in mind

1271
01:17:46,750 --> 01:17:50,875
and maybe I miss some
of the mundane thrills
of policy debate?

1272
01:17:50,875 --> 01:17:54,250
Yeah, I mean,
all of that.

1273
01:17:59,750 --> 01:18:02,166
This goes against
my better judgment.

1274
01:18:02,166 --> 01:18:05,125
It does.
But what we'll need is
one affirmative case

1275
01:18:05,125 --> 01:18:07,000
and one all-purpose
negative counterplan.

1276
01:18:07,000 --> 01:18:09,000
We can't do a year's worth
of work in one month,

1277
01:18:09,000 --> 01:18:10,917
so we'll concentrate
on those two lines of attack.

1278
01:18:10,917 --> 01:18:13,125
You'll have to arrange
with your parents--

1279
01:18:13,125 --> 01:18:15,166
Do you have parents?

1280
01:18:15,166 --> 01:18:16,959
Oh, yeah,
I have a--

1281
01:18:16,959 --> 01:18:20,041
a mom that I see
most days and--

1282
01:18:20,041 --> 01:18:21,750
and I see my dad
some weekends.

1283
01:18:21,750 --> 01:18:24,875
You'll have to come to
some arrangement with them
or else let go of trying to,

1284
01:18:24,875 --> 01:18:26,583
so that you can spend
evenings and weekends here.

1285
01:18:26,583 --> 01:18:28,166
We'll register
as a home-schooled team.

1286
01:18:28,166 --> 01:18:30,750
My grandmother will
sign whatever official
paperwork is required.

1287
01:18:30,750 --> 01:18:33,166
But all such
considerations wait
on our priority,

1288
01:18:33,166 --> 01:18:35,542
and that's finding
you your voice.

1289
01:18:35,542 --> 01:18:39,291
♪ ♪

1290
01:18:45,875 --> 01:18:48,834
Narrator:
Suddenly, Trenton was
a different city;

1291
01:18:48,834 --> 01:18:51,291
no longer a dead end
but a starting place.

1292
01:18:52,542 --> 01:18:53,959
Trenton,

1293
01:18:53,959 --> 01:18:56,125
the very city
of triumph.

1294
01:19:00,083 --> 01:19:03,000
Fire when ready!

1295
01:19:03,959 --> 01:19:06,583
(quietly)
This isn't-- this isn't

1296
01:19:06,583 --> 01:19:08,500
very good
for one's spirit.

1297
01:19:08,500 --> 01:19:10,291
I can't hear you!

1298
01:19:10,291 --> 01:19:13,417
It's-- it's
spirit-crushing, I said.

1299
01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:16,333
Fine.

1300
01:19:17,583 --> 01:19:19,583
What should I say?

1301
01:19:19,583 --> 01:19:22,500
Give me your standard
affirmative opening.

1302
01:19:23,500 --> 01:19:24,959
Yeah.

1303
01:19:24,959 --> 01:19:28,208
You know, I haven't really
said it enough for it
to really be--

1304
01:19:28,208 --> 01:19:29,917
for it to be standard.

1305
01:19:29,917 --> 01:19:31,834
Throw me the cello!

1306
01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:35,166
Uh...

1307
01:19:37,458 --> 01:19:39,208
(exhales)

1308
01:19:39,208 --> 01:19:41,291
Let's get down and dirty.
Let's get down...

1309
01:19:43,333 --> 01:19:44,625
Let's-- let's get--

1310
01:19:44,625 --> 01:19:46,000
let's get, uh--

1311
01:19:46,000 --> 01:19:48,166
let's get--
let us-- let us--

1312
01:19:48,166 --> 01:19:52,000
uh, okay, let's just--
let-- let us--

1313
01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:55,125
(screaming)

1314
01:19:55,125 --> 01:19:56,834
It's a riddle.

1315
01:19:56,834 --> 01:19:58,375
Yeah, yeah.

1316
01:19:58,375 --> 01:20:00,208
What it is is one of
those rare instances

1317
01:20:00,208 --> 01:20:04,041
where one of us having
an advanced college-degree
might actually help.

1318
01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:07,708
I won't whisper.

1319
01:20:07,708 --> 01:20:10,208
It's a trick,
but it's-- it's, uh--

1320
01:20:10,208 --> 01:20:13,166
it's crap.
It's a crap trick.

1321
01:20:14,417 --> 01:20:16,375
And I won't--
I won't do an accent,

1322
01:20:16,375 --> 01:20:18,500
however good--
however-- however--

1323
01:20:18,500 --> 01:20:20,166
however good
I may be at them.

1324
01:20:20,166 --> 01:20:23,375
So that just leaves--
that's-- that's just--

1325
01:20:23,375 --> 01:20:25,166
that's just singing.

1326
01:20:25,166 --> 01:20:27,166
Singing my speeches.

1327
01:20:27,166 --> 01:20:29,458
And then--
and after that,

1328
01:20:29,458 --> 01:20:32,000
arran-- arranging to
have my--

1329
01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:34,417
have my-- my-- my--

1330
01:20:34,417 --> 01:20:37,208
have my ashes scattered

1331
01:20:37,208 --> 01:20:39,375
over the Plainsboro
municipal pond.

1332
01:20:43,333 --> 01:20:45,583
(banjo strumming)

1333
01:20:45,583 --> 01:20:47,917
You know, I've--

1334
01:20:47,917 --> 01:20:50,542
I've thought about
the whole-- the singing,

1335
01:20:50,542 --> 01:20:52,041
and, uh...

1336
01:20:52,041 --> 01:20:54,083
I don't think
I can do it,

1337
01:20:54,083 --> 01:20:55,708
the song thing.

1338
01:20:55,708 --> 01:20:57,792
This is "The Battle Hymn
of the Republic."

1339
01:20:57,792 --> 01:20:59,708
We might prefer something
more modern, I realize,

1340
01:20:59,708 --> 01:21:02,166
but this is the only piece
I can play all the way through.

1341
01:21:02,166 --> 01:21:04,083
(picking banjo)
What you're gonna do

1342
01:21:04,083 --> 01:21:06,917
is just learn the song well
enough to keep it in your head,

1343
01:21:06,917 --> 01:21:08,375
to let it flow through you

1344
01:21:08,375 --> 01:21:10,250
as you speak-sing
your speeches.

1345
01:21:10,250 --> 01:21:11,959
And we'll write
to fit the rhyme.

1346
01:21:11,959 --> 01:21:13,458
(clears throat)

1347
01:21:13,458 --> 01:21:15,875
(picking banjo)

1348
01:21:15,875 --> 01:21:18,667
♪ Mine eyes
have seen the glory ♪

1349
01:21:18,667 --> 01:21:22,041
♪ Of the coming of the Lord ♪

1350
01:21:22,041 --> 01:21:25,458
♪ He is trampling out
the vintage ♪

1351
01:21:25,458 --> 01:21:27,875
♪ Where the grapes
of wrath are stored ♪

1352
01:21:27,875 --> 01:21:30,750
♪ He has loosed
the fateful lightning ♪

1353
01:21:30,750 --> 01:21:33,166
♪ Of his terrible swift sword ♪

1354
01:21:33,166 --> 01:21:38,375
♪ His truth is marching on ♪

1355
01:21:38,375 --> 01:21:43,667
♪ ♪

1356
01:21:43,667 --> 01:21:46,208
We think our case
will state

1357
01:21:46,208 --> 01:21:48,792
that sex is bound
to be explored...

1358
01:21:48,792 --> 01:21:51,667
Abs-- abstinence
is the catalyst--
Breathe.

1359
01:21:51,667 --> 01:21:54,667
Breathe first.
Abstinence is the catalyst...

1360
01:21:57,291 --> 01:21:59,959
to-- to support
such a-- such a--

1361
01:21:59,959 --> 01:22:02,083
a far-ranging--
a far-ranging platform.
I got it.

1362
01:22:02,083 --> 01:22:04,333
(overlapping chatter)

1363
01:22:08,000 --> 01:22:10,500
(knocking)
Go away!

1364
01:22:18,125 --> 01:22:19,875
That's dad's.

1365
01:22:19,875 --> 01:22:22,250
I thought you could use
a bigger suitcase--

1366
01:22:22,250 --> 01:22:23,708
one with an actual handle.

1367
01:22:23,708 --> 01:22:26,208
I swear, Penelope,
I don't know what you would do

1368
01:22:26,208 --> 01:22:28,959
without someone
in this family who can
steal and then organize.

1369
01:22:29,792 --> 01:22:32,000
Could I have
a request, Earl?

1370
01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:34,166
If-- if I win today,

1371
01:22:34,166 --> 01:22:36,583
could we say--
could we say that

1372
01:22:36,583 --> 01:22:39,125
you-- you'll stop
calling me with
girls' names?

1373
01:22:39,125 --> 01:22:41,625
Could we say that, if I win?

1374
01:22:42,959 --> 01:22:44,917
Let's not push it,
shall we?

1375
01:22:44,917 --> 01:22:47,542
Besides, Penelope's
my favorite girl's name.

1376
01:22:48,458 --> 01:22:51,041
All right, well,
could we-- could we

1377
01:22:51,041 --> 01:22:55,000
maybe just leave it
with Penelope then?

1378
01:22:56,166 --> 01:22:58,375
Yeah, we can do that.

1379
01:23:05,750 --> 01:23:08,542
(crowd applauding)

1380
01:23:10,542 --> 01:23:12,333
Man:
Thank you and welcome

1381
01:23:12,333 --> 01:23:15,750
to the 43rd annual New Jersey
State Debate Championships.

1382
01:23:15,750 --> 01:23:18,708
There are 22 schools
represented here

1383
01:23:18,708 --> 01:23:20,875
from every region
in the state.

1384
01:23:23,708 --> 01:23:25,625
Every preliminary round
through the semifinals

1385
01:23:25,625 --> 01:23:27,417
will take place
in the classrooms

1386
01:23:27,417 --> 01:23:29,542
in the adjacent
academic buildings.

1387
01:23:29,542 --> 01:23:32,208
You'll only return
to this auditorium
at the end of the day

1388
01:23:32,208 --> 01:23:33,792
for the final round

1389
01:23:33,792 --> 01:23:35,625
and the presentation
of the trophy.

1390
01:23:35,625 --> 01:23:37,250
Now, before we begin,

1391
01:23:37,250 --> 01:23:40,417
I want you to give yourselves
a big round of applause.

1392
01:23:47,834 --> 01:23:50,542
That's right.

1393
01:23:50,542 --> 01:23:53,333
Now, pairings
for the first three
rounds are randomized.

1394
01:23:53,333 --> 01:23:56,417
Then they're weighted
by win-lose record.

1395
01:23:56,417 --> 01:23:59,291
Would you sign this?

1396
01:23:59,291 --> 01:24:01,291
It's my favorite
brief of the year.

1397
01:24:01,291 --> 01:24:05,125
It says that abstinence
leads to a global crisis

1398
01:24:05,125 --> 01:24:07,291
in mental health.

1399
01:24:09,708 --> 01:24:11,708
(crowd applauding)

1400
01:24:11,708 --> 01:24:13,792
Aren't you that Chinese boy?

1401
01:24:16,458 --> 01:24:18,542
(clears throat)

1402
01:24:18,542 --> 01:24:20,959
I'm K-Korean, yes.

1403
01:24:20,959 --> 01:24:25,291
And just-- just so--
just so that you're--
that you're aware,

1404
01:24:25,291 --> 01:24:28,583
it's really ignorant
to lump us all into
one category like that.

1405
01:24:34,500 --> 01:24:36,834
You all can't win,

1406
01:24:36,834 --> 01:24:40,792
but you are all winners.
Good luck to you.

1407
01:24:40,792 --> 01:24:42,917
(crowd applauding)

1408
01:24:42,917 --> 01:24:45,458
(chatting)

1409
01:24:55,166 --> 01:24:58,458
(both humming)

1410
01:25:44,208 --> 01:25:46,125
(clears throat)

1411
01:25:46,125 --> 01:25:49,083
(melodically)
You think our case
will state that sex

1412
01:25:49,083 --> 01:25:51,041
is bound to be explored,

1413
01:25:51,041 --> 01:25:53,041
that adding funds
for abstinence

1414
01:25:53,041 --> 01:25:56,083
is what I will
have roared.

1415
01:25:56,083 --> 01:25:59,458
But such a case
has been heard so much
that we are bored.

1416
01:25:59,458 --> 01:26:02,250
Our plan is, thus,
not that.

1417
01:26:07,542 --> 01:26:10,333
Our-- our--
uh-- uh--

1418
01:26:10,333 --> 01:26:11,917
our-- our--

1419
01:26:11,917 --> 01:26:14,917
our government can best
support teaching abstinence

1420
01:26:14,917 --> 01:26:18,458
by refraining from
the common and ugly arrogance.

1421
01:26:18,458 --> 01:26:21,417
Instead of telling us
we should never do the dance,

1422
01:26:21,417 --> 01:26:24,417
they should adopt this plan:

1423
01:26:24,417 --> 01:26:27,542
Amend the constitution
so that no one over 20

1424
01:26:27,542 --> 01:26:30,375
can serve in government,
there'll be only kids a-plenty.

1425
01:26:30,375 --> 01:26:33,125
We'll-- we'll--
write the laws and fix sex ed,

1426
01:26:33,125 --> 01:26:34,583
and it won't cost a penny.

1427
01:26:34,583 --> 01:26:37,417
That's our basic plan.

1428
01:26:37,417 --> 01:26:38,917
What we'll--
what we'll--

1429
01:26:38,917 --> 01:26:40,834
what we'll do is create
a new federal government

1430
01:26:40,834 --> 01:26:44,583
where teenagers are only--
are-- are-- are the only--
the only voices of authority.

1431
01:26:44,583 --> 01:26:46,458
By doing so-- we'll help--
we'll help create

1432
01:26:46,458 --> 01:26:48,333
a-- a wider consensus
among teens.

1433
01:26:48,333 --> 01:26:51,125
It's a more-- it's a more dem--
it's more-- it's more--

1434
01:26:51,125 --> 01:26:53,834
it's a more democratic system
and democracy is

1435
01:26:53,834 --> 01:26:56,417
the very basis for love

1436
01:26:56,417 --> 01:26:58,792
as we'll argue below
in the rest of my song-speech.

1437
01:27:00,291 --> 01:27:02,500
Now, please--
please turn to--

1438
01:27:02,500 --> 01:27:05,166
contingent--
contingent one of our plan.

1439
01:27:05,166 --> 01:27:07,750
Now-- now-- now,
this one's a little
harder to get the whole--

1440
01:27:07,750 --> 01:27:10,291
the whole-- the kinda--
the-- the rhyme scheme for it,

1441
01:27:10,291 --> 01:27:12,041
because-- uh, because
of all the causes, say,

1442
01:27:12,041 --> 01:27:14,000
to have sexologist in them
which isn't really--

1443
01:27:14,000 --> 01:27:17,417
it doesn't-- it doesn't
really rhyme with too much.

1444
01:27:17,417 --> 01:27:20,166
But it basically--
it basically goes like this:

1445
01:27:20,166 --> 01:27:23,792
(clears throat)
The role-- the role
of the sexologist--

1446
01:27:23,792 --> 01:27:26,291
(door opens)

1447
01:27:26,291 --> 01:27:28,667
Gentlemen, come with me.

1448
01:27:36,792 --> 01:27:38,875
Ben.
Marsha.

1449
01:27:38,875 --> 01:27:42,000
The bow tie?
The pretty boutonnière?

1450
01:27:42,000 --> 01:27:45,417
Yes, sir, it stirs
the pot a little.
Ben: For me too, coach.

1451
01:27:45,417 --> 01:27:48,375
No, don't do that.
Hal: Excuse me, coach?

1452
01:27:48,375 --> 01:27:50,083
I'm-- I'm-- I'm like--

1453
01:27:50,083 --> 01:27:52,417
I'm a minute into my--
into my opening,

1454
01:27:52,417 --> 01:27:54,834
and, uh-- well, uh--

1455
01:27:54,834 --> 01:27:58,208
well, I've-- well, uh--
well, I'm killing in there.

1456
01:28:02,041 --> 01:28:03,500
Aren't I killing?

1457
01:28:03,500 --> 01:28:06,417
Woman:
I've heard worse.

1458
01:28:06,417 --> 01:28:09,125
She's--
she's heard worse.

1459
01:28:09,125 --> 01:28:11,583
There was an objection raised
to your entering here today.

1460
01:28:11,583 --> 01:28:14,000
And the New Jersey
league officials have
already voted on it

1461
01:28:14,000 --> 01:28:16,834
and it doesn't feel
altogether great to have
to tell you this.

1462
01:28:16,834 --> 01:28:19,375
You're not home-schooled,
Mr. Hefner.

1463
01:28:19,375 --> 01:28:22,208
And working most days
at a dry-cleaner's,
Mr. Wekselbaum,

1464
01:28:22,208 --> 01:28:23,959
means that you're not either.

1465
01:28:23,959 --> 01:28:26,333
You've been barred
from the competition.

1466
01:28:26,333 --> 01:28:29,208
You're welcome to stay
and observe if you like.

1467
01:28:41,458 --> 01:28:45,375
You know, we-- we, uh...

1468
01:28:46,208 --> 01:28:48,500
might have actually
won the whole thing.

1469
01:28:50,000 --> 01:28:53,250
Probably not if you really
apply powers of reason to it.

1470
01:28:56,667 --> 01:28:58,792
So that's--
so-- so--

1471
01:28:58,792 --> 01:29:01,583
uh-- so that's--
that's it?

1472
01:29:03,250 --> 01:29:06,333
Come and visit me
sometime, if you want.

1473
01:29:06,333 --> 01:29:09,417
We'll reminisce about this
and what it means.

1474
01:29:25,125 --> 01:29:31,250
♪ ♪

1475
01:29:39,208 --> 01:29:42,625
Ginny:
Teen sexual experimentation
in these programs...

1476
01:29:47,834 --> 01:29:51,083
Well, uh-- uh--

1477
01:29:53,417 --> 01:29:55,458
Today was not my day.
Okay?

1478
01:29:55,458 --> 01:29:58,542
But-- but, uh--
but-- but, uh--

1479
01:29:58,542 --> 01:30:01,583
some-- someday will be.
And-- and on-- on that day,

1480
01:30:01,583 --> 01:30:04,667
you-- you will be
sitting at home alone.

1481
01:30:06,166 --> 01:30:07,583
At home.

1482
01:30:07,583 --> 01:30:11,291
And you'll--
you'll think to yourself--
when you're alone

1483
01:30:11,291 --> 01:30:13,417
that-- that-- that--

1484
01:30:13,417 --> 01:30:15,375
"I knew him when."

1485
01:30:15,375 --> 01:30:17,834
Him being me.

1486
01:30:19,542 --> 01:30:22,291
Anarchy is not only
the best system in which
to encourage adult maturation,

1487
01:30:22,291 --> 01:30:24,917
it is also the best system
in which to encourage
sexual liberation.

1488
01:30:24,917 --> 01:30:27,125
Don't you dare go thinking
this was easy for me or simple!

1489
01:30:27,125 --> 01:30:30,750
If you think my feelings on the
matter were clear, then you'd be
underestimating my complexity.

1490
01:30:30,750 --> 01:30:32,583
And while I see that you
don't recognize this now,

1491
01:30:32,583 --> 01:30:35,834
you actually have me
to thank-- in part, modesty
forces me to acknowledge,

1492
01:30:35,834 --> 01:30:39,000
but in large part--
for your newfound zest
of competition and gamesmanship.

1493
01:30:39,000 --> 01:30:41,166
That was very clever
of you, to find Ben.

1494
01:30:41,166 --> 01:30:43,959
Surprisingly clever
and very painful.

1495
01:30:43,959 --> 01:30:47,333
Which means that I upped
your game, little man.

1496
01:30:47,333 --> 01:30:49,041
You're welcome!

1497
01:30:49,041 --> 01:30:52,750
Liberation breeds liberation,
i.e. sexual freedom inspires
political freedom.

1498
01:30:52,750 --> 01:30:55,041
At the heart of all liberty
is the liberty to engage...

1499
01:30:55,041 --> 01:30:58,375
♪ Why is it we have to part? ♪

1500
01:30:58,375 --> 01:31:02,834
♪ Why do you leave
with a stranger ♪

1501
01:31:02,834 --> 01:31:06,667
♪ When I am
revealing my heart? ♪

1502
01:31:06,667 --> 01:31:09,041
♪ Because I love the unknown ♪

1503
01:31:09,041 --> 01:31:10,959
♪ I love the unknown ♪

1504
01:31:10,959 --> 01:31:14,875
♪ He said
he loves the unknown ♪

1505
01:31:14,875 --> 01:31:17,333
♪ Because I love the unknown ♪

1506
01:31:17,333 --> 01:31:19,208
♪ I love the unknown ♪

1507
01:31:19,208 --> 01:31:23,083
♪ He said
he loves the unknown ♪

1508
01:31:23,083 --> 01:31:28,083
♪ They asked him,
"Hey, where's this bus going?" ♪

1509
01:31:28,083 --> 01:31:31,333
♪ And he said,
"well, I'm really not sure" ♪

1510
01:31:31,333 --> 01:31:35,542
♪ "Well then, how will you know
where to get off?" ♪

1511
01:31:35,542 --> 01:31:39,875
♪ And he said, "The place
with the most allure" ♪

1512
01:31:39,875 --> 01:31:42,542
♪ Because I love the unknown ♪

1513
01:31:42,542 --> 01:31:44,208
♪ I love the unknown ♪

1514
01:31:44,208 --> 01:31:48,083
♪ He said
he loves the unknown ♪

1515
01:31:48,083 --> 01:31:50,583
♪ Because I love the unknown ♪

1516
01:31:50,583 --> 01:31:52,375
♪ 'Cause I love the unknown ♪

1517
01:31:52,375 --> 01:31:56,625
♪ He said he loves
the unknown ♪

1518
01:31:56,625 --> 01:31:59,083
♪ Because I love the unknown ♪

1519
01:31:59,083 --> 01:32:01,083
♪ I love the unknown ♪

1520
01:32:01,083 --> 01:32:04,250
♪ He said he loves the unknown ♪

1521
01:32:04,250 --> 01:32:07,125
♪ Because I love the unknown ♪

1522
01:32:07,125 --> 01:32:09,417
♪ 'Cause I love the unknown ♪

1523
01:32:11,250 --> 01:32:13,333
Sir?

1524
01:32:13,333 --> 01:32:15,417
I will have one of--

1525
01:32:15,417 --> 01:32:17,083
I'll have one of the--

1526
01:32:17,083 --> 01:32:18,667
I'll have
a slice of your--

1527
01:32:18,667 --> 01:32:20,959
the-- of--

1528
01:32:20,959 --> 01:32:22,792
one of your--
one of your--

1529
01:32:22,792 --> 01:32:25,291
I'll have a slice
of the-- of the--

1530
01:32:25,291 --> 01:32:27,875
the-- the--
one of-- what--

1531
01:32:27,875 --> 01:32:29,625
I mean, you can
imagine it's not fish,

1532
01:32:29,625 --> 01:32:32,250
because you don't
have any fish here.

1533
01:32:32,250 --> 01:32:34,792
At least I hope not.
(laughs)

1534
01:32:36,083 --> 01:32:38,333
It's good. Um...

1535
01:32:38,333 --> 01:32:40,875
but I'll have a slice
of the-- of your--

1536
01:32:40,875 --> 01:32:44,417
one of your-- um,
slices of the-- the--

1537
01:32:44,417 --> 01:32:47,917
the-- the-- the pizza.

1538
01:32:51,708 --> 01:32:53,959
You can pay me
when you're through.

1539
01:32:53,959 --> 01:32:55,875
You know, why don't
I make it not just--

1540
01:32:55,875 --> 01:32:58,417
Not-- not just--
not-- not one--

1541
01:32:58,417 --> 01:33:00,125
not one slice, but, uh,

1542
01:33:00,125 --> 01:33:02,041
I'll have-- I'll have--

1543
01:33:02,041 --> 01:33:03,583
Not one.

1544
01:33:03,583 --> 01:33:05,250
I'm gonna close up in a bit.

1545
01:33:05,250 --> 01:33:07,291
Why don't you just
take all three?

1546
01:33:07,291 --> 01:33:09,542
Otherwise they're
getting trashed.

1547
01:33:11,667 --> 01:33:13,333
Yes!

1548
01:33:15,166 --> 01:33:18,542
Thank you.
Thanks.

1549
01:33:18,542 --> 01:33:24,667
♪ ♪

1550
01:33:50,625 --> 01:33:53,125
Narrator:
Eventually,
all of this would pass.

1551
01:33:53,125 --> 01:33:56,208
and the memory of it would
give way to embellishment

1552
01:33:56,208 --> 01:33:59,041
and fantasy
and outright distortion

1553
01:33:59,041 --> 01:34:00,959
until it was hard
for Hal Hefner to remember

1554
01:34:00,959 --> 01:34:02,750
what he was
really like back then.

1555
01:34:02,750 --> 01:34:05,291
When he still carried
in his head the sound

1556
01:34:05,291 --> 01:34:08,166
of a made-up perfect voice,

1557
01:34:08,166 --> 01:34:10,291
the voice that could
speak its heart,

1558
01:34:10,291 --> 01:34:13,083
the voice he used
to wish he had,

1559
01:34:13,083 --> 01:34:16,250
until the day
he stopped wishing
he sounded like anyone else

1560
01:34:16,250 --> 01:34:18,333
and just started
talking as he was.

1561
01:34:28,125 --> 01:34:30,041
(car door opens)

1562
01:34:32,875 --> 01:34:34,458
(closes)

1563
01:34:34,458 --> 01:34:37,417
(sighs)

1564
01:34:37,417 --> 01:34:39,083
You okay?

1565
01:34:39,083 --> 01:34:40,917
Yeah, I'm okay.

1566
01:34:40,917 --> 01:34:44,583
But, uh, listen...

1567
01:34:46,417 --> 01:34:48,250
What do you--
what do you--

1568
01:34:48,250 --> 01:34:51,291
I mean, what are
your thoughts on...

1569
01:34:51,291 --> 01:34:53,250
like, on-- on--

1570
01:34:53,250 --> 01:34:54,917
on love?

1571
01:34:55,959 --> 01:34:58,208
Oh, man, it's so late, Hal.

1572
01:34:58,208 --> 01:34:59,834
I, um...

1573
01:34:59,834 --> 01:35:04,500
I couldn't find
the-- the off-ramp,

1574
01:35:04,500 --> 01:35:08,500
and I ended up
circling back three times.

1575
01:35:08,500 --> 01:35:10,417
And, uh--

1576
01:35:10,417 --> 01:35:13,583
I don't even know
if I know how to get
you back to Plainsboro.

1577
01:35:15,959 --> 01:35:18,458
You know,
it shouldn't be--

1578
01:35:18,458 --> 01:35:21,959
shouldn't-- it really
shouldn't be like rocket,

1579
01:35:21,959 --> 01:35:24,625
uh-- shouldn't
be rocket, um...

1580
01:35:26,125 --> 01:35:30,333
(sighs)
Sometimes, I don't know,

1581
01:35:30,333 --> 01:35:34,000
I guess I just
wonder when

1582
01:35:34,000 --> 01:35:37,333
it all starts
to make sense, you know?

1583
01:35:37,333 --> 01:35:39,542
(laughs)

1584
01:35:39,542 --> 01:35:41,959
All what?

1585
01:35:41,959 --> 01:35:44,458
All this.
You know, everything.

1586
01:35:45,500 --> 01:35:47,458
Oh.

1587
01:35:48,291 --> 01:35:51,166
Well, I guess
there comes a point,

1588
01:35:51,166 --> 01:35:54,792
you see, when you
reach a certain age

1589
01:35:54,792 --> 01:35:58,208
and you're in Jersey,

1590
01:35:58,208 --> 01:36:00,291
or someplace just like it,

1591
01:36:00,291 --> 01:36:02,500
and...

1592
01:36:02,500 --> 01:36:05,333
you stop trying
to figure it all out.

1593
01:36:05,333 --> 01:36:07,458
You just...

1594
01:36:10,083 --> 01:36:13,083
are glad
for what you have.

1595
01:36:13,083 --> 01:36:15,333
Oh.

1596
01:36:15,333 --> 01:36:18,000
And that--
that-- that--

1597
01:36:18,000 --> 01:36:21,208
that just, like, happens
for everyone?

1598
01:36:21,208 --> 01:36:24,375
Yeah. Pretty much.

1599
01:36:24,375 --> 01:36:27,792
But you let me know if it
turns out different for you.

1600
01:36:27,792 --> 01:36:29,333
I'll do that.

1601
01:36:30,708 --> 01:36:32,959
I'll find...

1602
01:36:32,959 --> 01:36:35,500
a-- a way-- a g--

1603
01:36:35,500 --> 01:36:37,708
some good way

1604
01:36:37,708 --> 01:36:40,417
of letting you know
how it all works out.

1605
01:36:50,250 --> 01:36:52,208
(starts engine)

1606
01:36:57,375 --> 01:37:00,000
♪ ♪

1607
01:37:00,000 --> 01:37:05,208
♪ The doctor asked him
what he was afraid of ♪

1608
01:37:05,208 --> 01:37:08,333
♪ Just what was
he running from? ♪

1609
01:37:08,333 --> 01:37:11,166
♪ And he said,
"It's not a fear of success ♪

1610
01:37:11,166 --> 01:37:12,917
♪ "Nor of closeness ♪

1611
01:37:12,917 --> 01:37:16,542
♪ But of going through life
feeling numb" ♪

1612
01:37:16,542 --> 01:37:19,500
♪ That's why
I love the unknown ♪

1613
01:37:19,500 --> 01:37:21,208
♪ Love the unknown ♪

1614
01:37:21,208 --> 01:37:24,917
♪ He said he loves the unknown ♪

1615
01:37:30,250 --> 01:37:33,708
♪ One, two,
one, two, three, four ♪

1616
01:37:36,000 --> 01:37:41,917
♪ Mine eyes have seen the glory
of the coming of the Lord ♪

1617
01:37:41,917 --> 01:37:44,834
♪ He is trampling
out the vintage ♪

1618
01:37:44,834 --> 01:37:48,166
♪ Where the grapes
of wrath are stored ♪

1619
01:37:48,166 --> 01:37:50,959
♪ He hath loosed
the fateful lightning ♪

1620
01:37:50,959 --> 01:37:54,000
♪ Of his terrible swift sword ♪

1621
01:37:54,000 --> 01:37:59,291
♪ His truth is marching on ♪

1622
01:38:00,792 --> 01:38:07,041
♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪

1623
01:38:07,041 --> 01:38:13,041
♪ Glory, glory,
hallelujah ♪

1624
01:38:13,041 --> 01:38:18,166
♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪

1625
01:38:18,166 --> 01:38:24,041
♪ His truth is marching on ♪

1626
01:38:24,041 --> 01:38:27,542
♪ I have seen him
in the watch-fires ♪

1627
01:38:27,542 --> 01:38:30,208
♪ Of a hundred circling camps ♪

1628
01:38:30,208 --> 01:38:36,417
♪ They have builded Him an altar
in the evening dews and damps ♪

1629
01:38:36,417 --> 01:38:39,250
♪ I can read
his righteous sentence

1630
01:38:39,250 --> 01:38:42,000
♪ By the dim and flaring lamps ♪

1631
01:38:42,000 --> 01:38:47,500
♪ His day is marching on ♪

1632
01:38:49,041 --> 01:38:54,834
♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪

1633
01:38:54,834 --> 01:39:00,834
♪ Glory, glory,
hallelujah ♪

1634
01:39:00,834 --> 01:39:05,959
♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪

1635
01:39:05,959 --> 01:39:11,208
♪ His truth is marching on ♪

1636
01:39:12,458 --> 01:39:15,375
♪ I have read a fiery gospel ♪

1637
01:39:15,375 --> 01:39:18,125
♪ Writ in
burnished rows of steel ♪

1638
01:39:18,125 --> 01:39:21,166
♪ "As ye deal
with my contemners,

1639
01:39:21,166 --> 01:39:24,000
♪ So with you
my grace shall deal" ♪

1640
01:39:24,000 --> 01:39:27,083
♪ Let the hero, born of woman ♪

1641
01:39:27,083 --> 01:39:30,041
♪ Crush the serpent
with his heel ♪

1642
01:39:30,041 --> 01:39:35,041
♪ Since God is marching on ♪

1643
01:39:36,792 --> 01:39:42,708
♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪

1644
01:39:42,708 --> 01:39:48,834
♪ Glory, glory,
hallelujah ♪

1645
01:39:48,834 --> 01:39:53,959
♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪

1646
01:39:53,959 --> 01:39:59,166
♪ His truth is marching on ♪

1647
01:40:00,208 --> 01:40:03,000
♪ He has sounded
forth the trumpet ♪

1648
01:40:03,000 --> 01:40:06,041
♪ That shall
never call retreat ♪

1649
01:40:06,041 --> 01:40:09,667
♪ He is sifting out
the hearts of men ♪

1650
01:40:09,667 --> 01:40:11,792
♪ Before his judgment seat ♪

1651
01:40:11,792 --> 01:40:15,083
♪ Oh, be swift, my soul,
to answer him, ♪

1652
01:40:15,083 --> 01:40:17,750
♪ Be jubilant, my feet! ♪

1653
01:40:17,750 --> 01:40:22,583
♪ Our God is marching on ♪

1654
01:40:24,500 --> 01:40:30,417
♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪

1655
01:40:30,417 --> 01:40:36,458
♪ Glory, glory,
hallelujah ♪

1656
01:40:36,458 --> 01:40:41,750
♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪

1657
01:40:41,750 --> 01:40:46,625
♪ His truth is marching on ♪

1658
01:40:48,542 --> 01:40:54,667
♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪

1659
01:40:54,667 --> 01:41:00,458
♪ Glory, glory,
hallelujah ♪

1660
01:41:00,458 --> 01:41:05,875
♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah ♪

1661
01:41:05,875 --> 01:41:11,667
♪ His truth is marching on ♪

1662
01:41:11,667 --> 01:41:17,083
♪ His truth
is marching on ♪

1663
01:41:18,708 --> 01:41:23,166
♪ Truth is marching on ♪