1
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:11,297
- You messed up the words, Ben.
- No.

2
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:16,260
- You messed up the words twice.
- Oh, wow... It hasn't changed.

3
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:20,389
God, I would've thought
they made some improvements or something.

4
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,933
- Come on, everybody.
- Hey.

5
00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:24,977
- Our Lady of Victory...
- Pray for us.

6
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,228
Break! Let's go.

7
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,566
Watch the doors.

8
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,652
Whoa!
Trees in the parking lot...

9
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,201
Nature all around us, boys.

10
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:43,162
Take it in.
Take it all in.

11
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,919
I'm gonna go check us in.

12
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,004
This is great.

13
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:09,063
Well? Is this a real
North Woods lodge or what?

14
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,439
Great.

15
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,275
Check out the shotgun lamp.

16
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:17,029
Isn't that something, huh?
You don't see that every day.

17
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:19,156
Hey...

18
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,952
Hello! Hello!
Anybody home?

19
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,330
- Looks the same, doesn't it?
- Doesn't it?

20
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:29,875
- Smells the same too.
- Yeah, it does. Hello!

21
00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:34,004
- I wonder if they have a lot of check-ins.
- What's this? What's this over here?

22
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:36,757
"For prompt service, blow me. "

23
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,844
- It's an interesting touch.
- It's charming.

24
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:41,971
- Blow it.
- Shall I?

25
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,723
- Go ahead.
- Yeah.

26
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:53,190
Yeah!

27
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,111
Jeez!

28
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,407
Folks, don't mind Wormer.
She hates people.

29
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,744
Wormer, shut the frig up.
What can I do you for?

30
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:07,955
What happened to that...
That dog's face?

31
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:11,041
Porcupine quills.
Loves porcupines, hates people.

32
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,918
She's in heat too.

33
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:16,088
Too bad you're not a dog.
What can I do you for?

34
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:28,184
Wally, your dog
ever had a bath before?

35
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,729
There she is.
Oh, that's a gorgeous cabin.

36
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:35,649
Okay, hold it, hold it!
That's good enough. Hey!

37
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:38,277
Honey, that's bigger
than our honeymoon cabin.

38
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:42,281
You city-dwelling fools
are damn lucky to have this cabin.

39
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:46,660
- It just became available yesterday.
- We call it the Loon's Nest.

40
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:51,040
- You know what a loon is, noodlehead?
- Yeah, we have one in our family.

41
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,292
We had a fishing party
in there up until yesterday.

42
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,211
They caught their limit,
and then blew.

43
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,713
- It's all redecorated inside.
- Every bit of it.

44
00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:02,760
Me and Wally sunk over 300 bucks into it. And
that's not counting what we spent on Lysol.

45
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,345
- Is that right?
- It's beautiful.

46
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:07,056
Now, you folks enjoy your stay.

47
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,808
- Yeah, thanks.
- Thank you very much.

48
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:12,770
- How could you not in a place like this?
- You could get the shits from the well water.

49
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:15,397
- What did he say?
- I missed it.

50
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,301
What a gas!

51
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:48,514
Chet's gonna shit a solid-gold brick!
What a great surprise!

52
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:51,016
I'll go see where he's
bivouacked the family.

53
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,811
This is very unfair, Roman.

54
00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:56,939
What the hell are you talking about?
We're a family, for crying out loud!

55
00:05:57,023 --> 00:06:00,234
How many times have we invited Chet
and Connie to the islands with us? A dozen?

56
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,528
This is a little different.
We weren't invited.

57
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,613
Ah, they'll be tickled
to death to see us.

58
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:09,034
Honey, I found out
what was stinking up the shower.

59
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:12,454
- A present from me to you.
- What is it?

60
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:16,750
How thoughtful. That's really nice.
Put it in there with all the others.

61
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:19,587
There's fish all over this house.
Look, a pink one.

62
00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:23,424
All right, let's leave
this stuff right here, okay?

63
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:26,135
You put your bathing suit on,
and we'll go down to the lake.

64
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:29,763
No, no, you go ahead.
I really just can't seem to relax in filth.

65
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:32,683
Come on. We'll all pitch in later
and clean this up, all right? Let's go.

66
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,769
You know, we can't even use the bathroom
until someone finds the toilet seat?

67
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,730
Buck already found the toilet seat.
It was on the sun porch.

68
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,189
- Sun porch?
- Yeah.

69
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:41,400
- Makes you wonder, doesn't it?
- Come on, no further excuses, all right?

70
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,277
- What are you doing?
- I don't know. I don't know.

71
00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:45,362
- Stop it, Chet.
- You know, the kids are at the lake.

72
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,865
- Come on, Chet, stop. What are you doing?
- I'm not doing anything.

73
00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:52,494
- Honey, honey, honey, no!
- Well, we got the house to ourselves. Hello.

74
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:55,372
Oh, no! What happened?
I'm sorry.

75
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:56,749
I just don't feel like this.

76
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,792
Can you understand that?
I'm tired, I'm stinky.

77
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:00,836
- Come on.
- What are you doing? Come on.

78
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,963
- Come on. We're at the house by ourselves.
- What about the kids? I don't care!

79
00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:04,882
What about the kids?
They're down at the lake.

80
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:07,635
Don't do this here.
Let's go to the bedroom.

81
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:11,847
Why? That's the great thing
about being in the North Woods, Connie.

82
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,725
- What are you feeding me now?
- Come on!

83
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:18,395
You can run around here naked as a bear
and not worry about running into anybody.

84
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,397
- Is that right?
- Yes.

85
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,358
Really?

86
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:27,404
You think it's possible that
we could play fashion parade? Please...

87
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,531
- I don't wanna play fashion parade.
- Why?

88
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:33,285
- You get to wear the good outfits.
- Oh, no, I'll let you wear them.

89
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:36,580
- You will?
- Now, uh, you will be Shelana!

90
00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:41,794
- Shelana, the oak tree woman.
- Oh, I love it when I'm the oak tree woman!

91
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,671
- Temptress of the woods.
- Yes!

92
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:45,130
- Yes! Yes!
- Yes!

93
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:47,508
And I will be Burt.

94
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:49,176
- Burt!
- A guy named Burt.

95
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:53,555
I love it when you're Burt.
You're always so... when you're Burt.

96
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,308
Or I could be
Smokey's cousin, Horny.

97
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:59,144
- He has endurance.
- Yes, he does.

98
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,856
Anybody home?

99
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:10,864
Shelana the woods temptress?
With Horny the Bear, Smokey's cousin?

100
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,994
Okay. Okay.

101
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:18,497
- Turn that off. Turn it off.
- Oh, yeah. No, no, Chester, you said it.

102
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:20,541
Do it on the floor!

103
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,419
Beautiful stuff.
Hey, that's all right.

104
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,422
Game playing, role playing. Helps
in a marriage after a while, you know?

105
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:29,508
Knock it off. Turn the damn thing off!
Turn it off.

106
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:37,933
That was quite a surprise.
I mean... You got me.

107
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,854
And the whole week
you'll be here!

108
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,523
Okay...

109
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:48,152
Oh, wow!
Just something.

110
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:51,155
So, anyway,
you're an intelligent man.

111
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,823
Thank you.

112
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,825
- You make a good living.
- Not bad.

113
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,910
- You got a good life.
- Pretty good.

114
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,704
- Answer me one question.
- Sure.

115
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:02,082
Why the hell would you want to come up to
a plant-infested no-man's-land like this...

116
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,752
...and live like a barbarian
for a week?

117
00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:07,963
- You wouldn't understand.
- Try me.

118
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,759
I have great memories of this
country when I was a kid, you know...

119
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,886
...and I used to come up here
with my dad...

120
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,013
...and I want the boys
to have the same memories.

121
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:20,559
Look around you, Roman! For God sakes,
this is beautiful country here!

122
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,436
Take a good look.

123
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:26,023
I'll tell you what I see
when I look out there, if you wanna know.

124
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:28,067
Yeah, I'm curious.

125
00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:31,695
I see the underdeveloped resources of
Northern Minnesota, Wisconsin and Michigan.

126
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,363
I see a syndicated
development consortium...

127
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:36,241
...exploiting over a billion
and a half dollars in forest products.

128
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:40,037
I see a paper mill, and, if the strategic
metals are there, a mining operation.

129
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:43,540
A green belt between the condos on the lake
and a waste management facility...

130
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:47,127
...focusing on the newest rage
in toxic waste, medical refuse...

131
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:50,005
...infected bandages, body parts,
IV tubing, contaminated glassware...

132
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,342
...entrails, syringes, fluid, blood,
low-grade radioactive wastes...

133
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,804
...all safely contained, sunken in
the lake and sealed for centuries.

134
00:09:56,888 --> 00:10:00,265
Now, I ask you:
What do you see?

135
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:08,023
I just see, uh... I see trees.

136
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,859
Well, no one ever accused you
of having a grand vision.

137
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,569
- Nope.
- Maybe it's all for the best.

138
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,863
While the ambitious scramble
for wealth and power...

139
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:17,241
...the Chet Ripley's of the world
are just able to lay back...

140
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:20,619
...and casually stroll
along life's path.

141
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,996
- I mean that as a compliment.
- Oh, thanks.

142
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:27,334
The rest of us are all probably gonna die of
heart attacks and strokes long before you.

143
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,878
I hope so.
Wouldn't that be great?

144
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,923
Gee, just to see a bunch
of people drop that you hate.

145
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:35,008
That would be something else,
I'm telling you.

146
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,470
My goodness!
My goodness me!

147
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:41,056
I'm gonna walk down
life's path right now.

148
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,684
Ah, get the barbecue going,
get some hot dogs on there.

149
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:46,645
Wait a minute. No way.
Wait a hot-shit minute.

150
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,147
- What?
- Rule one:

151
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:52,317
No relative of mine is gonna eat hot dogs
as long as he's sharing my cabin.

152
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:53,026
Katie!

153
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,781
Do you sense the presence
of an alien life form?

154
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:01,034
Now that you mention it, I do kind of sense
something kind of strange.

155
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:02,703
Yeah, some kind of...

156
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,875
Ah, shit...

157
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:15,424
Did I tell you what we did in the
Euro-currency futures market last week?

158
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:16,466
Probably.

159
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:18,719
I thought I might have mentioned
how we picked up a deutschmarks contract...

160
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:22,514
...sat on it a week, sold it
taking a 300% profit.

161
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:28,729
Well, easy money
is money easily lost.

162
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:33,817
See, I can't believe how dangerously
old-fashioned your thinking is.

163
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:37,863
- 300% profit, huh?
- Sometimes it's 200%, sometimes 100%.

164
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,490
Take the good with the bad.

165
00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:43,160
Yeah.
Still that's pretty good.

166
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:47,539
The point of the matter is,
you should have your piece too.

167
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:49,917
Wow, hot!

168
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:52,669
- How are those tails?
- What? Who's saying something about my tails?

169
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,379
They're killers.
They're 28 bucks a pop.

170
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,547
28? Oh, my God.

171
00:11:55,632 --> 00:12:00,260
You know, Chet and I haven't had lobster in
an age, not since our anniversary, anyway.

172
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,221
- Oh, my goodness!
- Jumping lobster!

173
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:03,722
- Save that one.
- Okay.

174
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:06,600
- That'll be for me.
- I'll make sure of that.

175
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:10,229
How about the gourmet here?
You know what he wanted? Hot dogs!

176
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,522
You know what they
make those things out of, huh, Chet?

177
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,566
Lips and assholes.

178
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,695
I guess I'm old-fashioned.
I like assholes.

179
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,572
And I like lips!

180
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:25,577
If I could market lips like those,
I'd make another million.

181
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:36,546
Lobster turned out all right, huh?
If I do say so myself.

182
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:40,884
So, I think we should go into town tomorrow
and pick up a ski boat.

183
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:43,011
What do you say?
Sound good, guys?

184
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:46,807
Uncle Roman will blow some coin
on a kick-ass drag boat.

185
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:50,352
- That's okay. We're renting a pontoon boat.
- Pontoon boat.

186
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,397
What the hell you gonna do with a
pontoon boat? Retake Omaha Beach?

187
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,983
No, not at all.

188
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,694
A pontoon boat, you go out
and, you know, you cruise the lake.

189
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:02,406
You swim from them, you fish from them,
and even bring the barbecue out.

190
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,408
You have a great time
with these things.

191
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:07,327
You tour the lake in comfort
is what I'm saying.

192
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,621
You guys wanna cruise
the lake in comfort...

193
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,457
...or would you rather skim the waves
with Uncle Roman in a jet boat?

194
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,167
Jet boat!

195
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,254
- Sorry, Dad.
- Attaboy, Benny!

196
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:19,756
All right, that's my man!

197
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,800
Care to put it
to a vote, Chester?

198
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:25,804
We don't need a vote, all right? If you
guys want a jet boat, you get a jet boat.

199
00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:28,223
Buck and I are getting
a pontoon boat, right, Buck?

200
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:31,476
- Sorry, Dad.
- Directly from the mouths of babes, Chet.

201
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:34,146
Are you gonna argue,
or are you gonna enjoy yourselves?

202
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,481
Hey, I'm enjoying!
Chet's arguing.

203
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,359
Hey, how about if the kids go out
and catch fireflies.

204
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:40,610
You know, we could play cards.

205
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:45,324
Cara? Mara? You little dolls
wanna go outside and catch fireflies?

206
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,534
Honey, they don't like bugs.

207
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:50,704
What do you mean?
All kids like bugs. They're cute.

208
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:54,249
Especially fireflies.
Their butts light up.

209
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:04,259
I tell you, I am a killer Monopoly player.
Roman taught me. He's vicious.

210
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:08,221
- Buddy Reiser died.
- Oh, no!

211
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:11,058
- The president of Energy and Resources.
- Honey...

212
00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:12,434
Died in bed.

213
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,771
- He was your mentor, wasn't he?
- One of the men I admired.

214
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,814
- Hey, I'm trying to read here.
- Yeah, I'm reading the Wall Street Report.

215
00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,149
Sorry, sorry.

216
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:23,528
I think I have to tell you
this story.

217
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:27,282
A story that might save your lives
since we're up here in the North Woods.

218
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,118
I know the Heimlich maneuver.

219
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,663
No, this is...

220
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,958
...a bear story.

221
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,171
A true bear story.

222
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:46,426
See, Connie and I honeymooned
up at this very same lake.

223
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,345
Big spender!

224
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:52,057
- We stayed at my uncle's cabin.
- Uncle George?

225
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,226
Yeah, that's right.

226
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,770
One night
we were getting ready for bed...

227
00:14:56,854 --> 00:15:01,817
...and we heard this terrible noise
out by the trash cans.

228
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,403
You remember?
And, uh...

229
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:08,949
...I went downstairs to check it out,
looked out the window.

230
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,078
And there...

231
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:19,126
...was the biggest, baddest bear
in the North Woods.

232
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:22,963
- Sure, Dad.
- No, it's true. It's true.

233
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:27,634
This bear
was over eight feet high!

234
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:32,889
With big, white teeth.

235
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,267
Fangs...

236
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,103
...stained pink...

237
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:43,024
...from whatever it killed
before it got to our cabin.

238
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:46,403
It was frightening.

239
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:49,573
Frightening.

240
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:55,579
The paws on this thing
were immense...

241
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:59,958
...with big black claws...

242
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,335
...razor sharp...

243
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:05,005
...like Freddy Krueger.

244
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:10,594
Only worse. Worse, worse.

245
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:12,262
This wasn't a movie.

246
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:15,015
This was happening. This was now.
This was right in front of me.

247
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:18,518
And all that separated me
from that bear...

248
00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:20,854
...was a pane of glass.

249
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:23,482
Honey, maybe we shouldn't
tell this story right now.

250
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:26,193
- Mom, it's fine.
- No, no. I'm thinking about nightmares.

251
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:29,196
No, no.
They have to hear this.

252
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:34,534
Like I say, it might save
their life one day.

253
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,830
Now I saw that bear.

254
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:42,083
It saw me.

255
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:44,336
And it was hungry.

256
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,255
Hungry for blood!

257
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:50,008
Human blood.

258
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:55,013
You see, once a bear
gets a taste for blood...

259
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,016
...it craves it...

260
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:00,227
...it needs it.

261
00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:03,897
It will do anything it can
to get it.

262
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:08,318
That bear
had become a man-eater.

263
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:13,240
Our eyes locked.
My heart was pumping.

264
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:15,200
Pump, pump...

265
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:18,662
...pump, pump, pump.

266
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:23,833
I ran into the living room.
I grabbed the shotgun off the mantle.

267
00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:29,214
Turned around, and there
was that bear right in the window.

268
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:33,051
Its breath
was fogging up the glass.

269
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:40,517
And suddenly it let out
this God-awful roar.

270
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:49,025
It started smashing on the walls.
Then the pots and pans started rattling.

271
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:52,445
And the walls started shimmering
and the floorboards started lifting.

272
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:56,241
I knew then that it was either the bear
or your mom and I.

273
00:17:56,325 --> 00:18:00,662
So I raised the rifle,
I took aim and I fired!

274
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:04,416
- You wasted her?
- Nah, Benny, Benny, Benny!

275
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:06,626
A shotgun's not gonna kill
a monster bear like that!

276
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:07,752
Well, what happened?

277
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:11,923
The buckshot shaved the hair
clean off the top of its head.

278
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:15,302
It ran off.
We never saw it again.

279
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,805
Oh, I hear from my uncle
every now and then.

280
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:25,937
And he'd tell us about the bald-headed
killer bear that was roaming about the area.

281
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:30,734
The bald-headed killer bear...

282
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:33,528
...von Clare County.

283
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:40,327
- Is she still around?
- Oh! No, no, no. That bear's gone.

284
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:43,455
She may be out there.

285
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,958
Crazy, bloodthirsty as ever.

286
00:18:48,002 --> 00:18:50,128
So when you go to bed tonight...

287
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:53,506
...if you hear a noise...

288
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:59,387
...whatever you do,
don't look out the window.

289
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:02,432
Because it might be the bear!

290
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:07,979
Jesus Christ! I'm half-drunk here, Chet.
What are you trying to do?

291
00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:10,857
- Give me nightmares for a month?
- Come on, Roman.

292
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,276
I can't believe you, Dad.
All right?

293
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:16,071
- Oh, Benny, Benny, honey!
- Thank you.

294
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,574
Gee, I'm 25 pounds overweight. I
don't need a blast to the ticker like that!

295
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,576
I felt my plaque
start flowing again!

296
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:26,289
- Really inappropriate, Chet.
- What? It was a story!

297
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,083
Come on!

298
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:32,045
Oh, come on!
It was a kind of true story.

299
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:36,007
Part of it happened. I just
embellished a bit. Come on, kids!

300
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,885
Oh, what? What?
What is that look?

301
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,763
- Benny...
- So now I get the look.

302
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,265
- I was just trying to have some fun.
- Good night.

303
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,935
Oh, God!

304
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,729
So I made the fangs a little bigger.
Jeez.

305
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:59,823
I'm telling you, you got
nothing to be afraid of, okay?

306
00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,282
I mean it.

307
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:06,454
Look, it's a story my dad told me,
and I'm sure his dad told him...

308
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,998
...and I'm telling you.
It's just made up.

309
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:12,085
One day you're gonna tell
your kids this story. You will.

310
00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:13,378
I guarantee it.

311
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:17,882
Good evening.

312
00:20:19,135 --> 00:20:20,593
How's it going?

313
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:25,056
Listen, girls...

314
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:27,392
...as your father...

315
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:31,479
...I feel it incumbent upon me
to set the record straight...

316
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:35,817
...on the validity of the tale which
Uncle Chet shared with us this evening.

317
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,527
I know that
a terrifying story like that...

318
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,779
...coming from the mouth
of a recognized authority figure...

319
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:41,698
...could be traumatizing
for kids like yourselves.

320
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:44,409
I know that because I had a similar
experience with my Uncle Roy...

321
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:47,704
...and a story he used to tell
about a family that went into the woods...

322
00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:50,874
...and was attacked by a band
of escaped army psychiatric patients...

323
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:56,588
...who'd been subjected to violent, hellish,
torturous behavior-modification experiments.

324
00:20:56,672 --> 00:21:00,216
It seems they escaped from the metal boxes
the army kept them in...

325
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:03,344
...found this family in the woods,
fell upon them...

326
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,472
...slaughtered them and ate them.

327
00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:09,267
Now, that story gave me nightmares
not to be believed.

328
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:13,354
I don't want Uncle Chet's bear story
to upset you in the same way.

329
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:16,107
So I'm here to say
that there actually is no bear...

330
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:19,110
...and that all of what
Uncle Chet was saying was just a yarn...

331
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:20,987
...spinning for our entertainment.

332
00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:25,158
And even if there were a bear out there,
I'm in the house to protect you.

333
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:31,080
So, no more thinking
about bears, all right?

334
00:21:31,165 --> 00:21:33,291
No more thinking
about unpleasant things.

335
00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:35,835
We're gonna close our eyes...

336
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,756
...and dream about nice things.

337
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:45,220
About cuddly,
soft, fluffy things.

338
00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:47,806
Okay?

339
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,225
Super.

340
00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:52,101
Good night.

341
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,062
Sleep tight.

342
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:04,697
Hey, kids!
New people in the loon's nest!

343
00:22:04,782 --> 00:22:07,408
They have Illinois plates, Mom.

344
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:13,540
If they're from Chicago,
we'll be eating good.

345
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:17,669
Lobster tails!

346
00:22:19,213 --> 00:22:22,173
A shitload of raw hot dogs!

347
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:25,134
You know what they're made of?

348
00:22:25,219 --> 00:22:27,053
Lips and assholes!

349
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:58,418
Honey?

350
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:00,753
Chet?

351
00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:03,047
Where are you?

352
00:23:06,176 --> 00:23:09,554
Oh, God!
That's rotted.

353
00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:14,809
Hello. Jerry Asmuth, please.
Roman Craig.

354
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:16,269
Yeah, I can hold,
but not for too long.

355
00:23:16,353 --> 00:23:19,272
I'm in God's country here.
My signal's kind of weak.

356
00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:34,078
- Honey?
- Yes, Roman?

357
00:23:34,163 --> 00:23:37,415
Why is it Chet's kids
look at him like he's Zeus...

358
00:23:37,499 --> 00:23:41,586
...and my kids look at me
like I'm a rack of yard tools at Sears?

359
00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:45,798
I mean, why can't they
connect with me?

360
00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:49,469
Well, honey,
maybe if you spent less time at work...

361
00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:51,429
...and a little more time with us,
things would be different.

362
00:23:51,513 --> 00:23:54,641
Put a cork in it, honey.
Talking business. Jerry.

363
00:23:54,725 --> 00:23:57,185
Yeah, Roman.
How are you?

364
00:23:57,269 --> 00:24:00,271
Listen, I'll save us a lot of trouble now
and cut right to the chase.

365
00:24:00,356 --> 00:24:02,857
I got an unbelievable
investment opportunity for you.

366
00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:06,319
You got about three minutes
and 25 grand? Jerry?

367
00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:08,112
Did you hear what I said?

368
00:24:08,197 --> 00:24:10,990
Lost the signal here.
These cellular phones, they don't work.

369
00:24:11,075 --> 00:24:15,161
- Well, maybe he hung up on you.
- Why would our minister hang up on me?

370
00:24:15,245 --> 00:24:18,831
- I've been to his church.
- Oh, yeah! Once!

371
00:24:20,876 --> 00:24:22,710
All right!

372
00:24:23,337 --> 00:24:25,380
How about that, huh?

373
00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:28,800
We're gonna be scraping the bugs
off our teeth with this baby, Ben!

374
00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:31,886
That's too much boat.

375
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:33,721
- Look...
- It's too much.

376
00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:37,642
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure. Are you hungry?

377
00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:41,145
Give me four chili dogs
and two plain dogs, please.

378
00:24:41,772 --> 00:24:44,899
- That's six hot dogs, Dad.
- It's for everybody, all right?

379
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:46,859
And I'm hungry.

380
00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:49,612
- So?
- Oh, yeah.

381
00:24:49,697 --> 00:24:53,574
Do you mind if I just walk around for
a while? You know, cruise the town?

382
00:24:53,659 --> 00:24:55,910
I can walk back when I'm done.

383
00:24:56,578 --> 00:25:01,124
All right, but promise me when you get back
we're gonna spend some time together.

384
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:02,667
- Right.
- That's why we're up here, you know.

385
00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:04,293
- I know.
- That's the point of this trip.

386
00:25:04,378 --> 00:25:05,294
- Right.
- To be in the woods.

387
00:25:05,379 --> 00:25:08,172
The men, the guys, together.
Rugged, manly, all that stuff.

388
00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:10,299
- The full nine yards.
- Exactly.

389
00:25:10,384 --> 00:25:11,759
- All right?
- Right.

390
00:25:13,137 --> 00:25:15,179
- Give me a hug.
- What?

391
00:25:15,264 --> 00:25:17,140
- Give me a hug, will you?
- Dad...

392
00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:18,891
- Come on.
- I'm too old for hugs.

393
00:25:18,976 --> 00:25:21,310
You're never too old for hugs.

394
00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:24,897
- Can I go now? Thank you very much.
- Go, go, go.

395
00:25:24,982 --> 00:25:29,736
If you meet any friends, bring them back.
We'll give them a ride in "Suck My Wake".

396
00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:38,161
God...! Great.

397
00:25:39,955 --> 00:25:42,248
You've got it in neutral!

398
00:25:43,709 --> 00:25:44,876
It's okay!

399
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,795
It's in neutral!
You gotta put it...!

400
00:26:04,772 --> 00:26:06,773
- Okay.
- Dad, I'll figure it out.

401
00:26:06,857 --> 00:26:08,316
Just give me the skis already.

402
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,861
I'm sorry, I forgot.
You're a professional skier already.

403
00:26:11,945 --> 00:26:13,780
You don't need any notes
on this, huh?

404
00:26:13,864 --> 00:26:17,450
You don't need any help from somebody
who might know a little about skllng.

405
00:26:17,534 --> 00:26:20,286
- We're gonna go over it one more time, okay?
- Fine.

406
00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:22,330
- Come on, this is important, Ben.
- Okay!

407
00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:24,290
What are we doing sitting here?

408
00:26:24,374 --> 00:26:26,834
You know, he's teaching the kid,
giving him lessons.

409
00:26:26,919 --> 00:26:30,004
- Wants Benny to be safe.
- Lean back. There you go.

410
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,047
- Doesn't that feel better?
- Yeah.

411
00:26:31,131 --> 00:26:34,801
There you go. Okay, we're leaning back.
Okay, now there's trouble.

412
00:26:34,885 --> 00:26:37,678
- What?
- Trouble. There's some trouble.

413
00:26:37,763 --> 00:26:41,933
Come on, Ben, what are we gonna do?
Let go of the rope.

414
00:26:42,768 --> 00:26:44,227
How many times have I told you?
Let go of the rope.

415
00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:47,522
If you're in trouble, let go of the rope.
Remember, go loose when you fall.

416
00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:49,857
- Loose.
- All right? Just go loose.

417
00:26:49,942 --> 00:26:51,359
- What is he doing?
- I don't know.

418
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:54,529
- I don't know, he's shaking.
- Some kind of a new dance or something.

419
00:26:54,613 --> 00:26:56,447
- Okay, hold this. Thanks, Dad.
- Fix your vest up.

420
00:26:56,532 --> 00:26:58,825
- I can't tell you...
- Are we gonna ski or what?

421
00:26:58,909 --> 00:27:03,162
...how important this is.

422
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,834
Hey, let's go! Ski or flee.

423
00:27:07,918 --> 00:27:09,877
Honey, he's waving.

424
00:27:09,962 --> 00:27:11,921
- Ah, he's good.
- He's going.

425
00:27:12,005 --> 00:27:13,756
- All right.
- All right. Great.

426
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:28,896
Hey, Dad, let go of the rope!

427
00:27:31,984 --> 00:27:34,277
Help me, for God's sake!

428
00:27:34,361 --> 00:27:36,237
Holy shit!

429
00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:39,866
Oh, no!

430
00:27:42,536 --> 00:27:43,911
Wow!

431
00:27:43,996 --> 00:27:44,871
Wow!

432
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:54,672
You bastard!

433
00:28:01,638 --> 00:28:05,349
- You bastard, Roman!
- What's he saying?

434
00:28:06,476 --> 00:28:08,477
- You bastard!
- What's he saying?

435
00:28:08,562 --> 00:28:10,563
- "Faster".
- "Faster"?

436
00:28:10,647 --> 00:28:12,440
Go faster!

437
00:28:15,611 --> 00:28:16,611
Hi!

438
00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:18,654
Roman, what the hell
are you doing?

439
00:28:18,739 --> 00:28:21,240
I love to see him relaxing!

440
00:28:26,663 --> 00:28:29,123
I'm dead! I'm dead!
I'm dead! I'm dead!

441
00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:32,710
I'm dead!
I'm dying! I'm dying! I'm dying!

442
00:28:34,129 --> 00:28:35,338
I'm dying!

443
00:28:37,758 --> 00:28:41,636
I'm alive. I'm alive.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

444
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:45,973
Ah, no!

445
00:29:36,984 --> 00:29:40,236
- What are you doing?
- What's it look like I'm doing?

446
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:42,738
I am not taking any more
of Roman's crap.

447
00:29:42,823 --> 00:29:45,116
If you like him, you stay with him,
'cause I'm through. I'm out of here.

448
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,369
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
What happened that got you so crazy?

449
00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:49,662
- "What happened?"
- Yeah.

450
00:29:49,746 --> 00:29:51,580
- Come on! "What happened?"
- Yeah.

451
00:29:51,665 --> 00:29:53,374
How about Roman dragging me
all over the goddamn lake?

452
00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:56,210
How about that for starters, huh?
Not bad, huh?

453
00:29:56,295 --> 00:29:58,921
- Have you seen my ass lately?
- No, not recently.

454
00:29:59,006 --> 00:30:01,590
Well, I'll be picking splinters out of it
from now until the day I die!

455
00:30:01,675 --> 00:30:03,259
Oh, honey, come on.

456
00:30:03,343 --> 00:30:05,594
Oh, you find that funny?
Yeah, that was hysterical, wasn't it?

457
00:30:05,679 --> 00:30:08,222
No, it wasn't really funny,
but because I love you, it was.

458
00:30:08,307 --> 00:30:11,976
- God... Thanks a lot!
- Come on. What about the kids?

459
00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:15,438
What about his kids?
Let's talk about his kids.

460
00:30:15,522 --> 00:30:17,982
His kids, they're spooky,
all right?

461
00:30:18,066 --> 00:30:21,068
I'm waiting for their heads
to rotate around and vomit pea soup.

462
00:30:21,153 --> 00:30:23,237
I mean our kids.

463
00:30:24,072 --> 00:30:27,283
- Our kids already do that.
- What about this father-son thing?

464
00:30:27,367 --> 00:30:30,161
You're gonna leave, you're gonna pack up?
Come on!

465
00:30:30,245 --> 00:30:31,746
The guy's driving me crazy!

466
00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:36,167
You're a big man. And you're a nice man.
And you're above all this.

467
00:30:36,251 --> 00:30:38,210
- Oh, don't.
- Hey, you are.

468
00:30:38,295 --> 00:30:41,213
- Oh, come on.
- I know it to be true.

469
00:30:41,298 --> 00:30:45,426
All right, don't! Don't. Don't!
Come on, I'm mad. I'm mad.

470
00:30:47,512 --> 00:30:50,639
All right, all right, what are you saying?
I'm being silly?

471
00:30:50,724 --> 00:30:52,933
Crazy! Stop.

472
00:30:53,935 --> 00:30:57,772
- Why do you always do this to me, you know?
- I'm crazy about you. Kiss me.

473
00:30:59,107 --> 00:31:01,067
- Do you feel better?
- I do, and I'm sorry.

474
00:31:01,151 --> 00:31:02,777
I just feel like a little kid.

475
00:31:02,861 --> 00:31:04,195
- Okay.
- I feel a lot better.

476
00:31:04,279 --> 00:31:07,114
Why did you do this?
Why now? I was ready to go!

477
00:31:07,199 --> 00:31:10,534
Why, why, why?
I was almost in the car!

478
00:31:10,619 --> 00:31:14,080
Now I've got to spend
a week with Roman!

479
00:31:14,164 --> 00:31:17,124
Come on. You're gonna have fun
from now on in, I promise you.

480
00:31:17,209 --> 00:31:20,586
Roman's making goat cheese pizza
and we'll take it over to the lodge.

481
00:31:20,670 --> 00:31:22,588
He's making what?

482
00:31:23,465 --> 00:31:25,174
- What did you say?
- Pizza?

483
00:31:25,258 --> 00:31:27,009
No, you didn't say pizza,
you said something else.

484
00:31:27,094 --> 00:31:28,552
- Big man pizza.
- What are you hiding?

485
00:31:28,637 --> 00:31:30,388
- Big pizza!
- You don't have to hide from me.

486
00:31:30,472 --> 00:31:31,972
- Tell me what it is.
- Pizza.

487
00:31:32,057 --> 00:31:34,642
You said a "goat" in there.
Is he making goat pizza or something?

488
00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:36,769
What is this?
Hey! Come here. Connie!

489
00:31:39,189 --> 00:31:42,483
Roman, I got a few things
to gnaw over with you.

490
00:31:42,567 --> 00:31:44,068
What's going on, Wally?

491
00:31:44,152 --> 00:31:46,821
I found your youngsters
inside the mine perimeter.

492
00:31:46,905 --> 00:31:47,738
What mine?

493
00:31:47,823 --> 00:31:50,574
There's an old mica mine
on the other side of the property.

494
00:31:50,659 --> 00:31:54,662
It's full of boreholes and sinkholes
and pits, caves, hollows.

495
00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:58,040
The war shut the facility down.
It's never been reopened.

496
00:31:58,125 --> 00:32:01,460
Anyway, the kids go there
and they yell down the hole...

497
00:32:01,545 --> 00:32:03,712
...so they can hear
their voices echo.

498
00:32:04,631 --> 00:32:07,216
I'm not gonna tell you
what the teenagers do there.

499
00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:09,927
- I'll bet!
- Tell Ripley, too, huh?

500
00:32:10,011 --> 00:32:11,470
Done.

501
00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:13,514
Take care of them, Roman.

502
00:32:15,684 --> 00:32:19,437
We got a shot to see a female
Elvis impersonator over in White Water...

503
00:32:19,521 --> 00:32:22,690
...and you want to wish happy birthday
to a guy you never even met?

504
00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:24,984
You want to go to White Water,
go to White Water.

505
00:32:25,068 --> 00:32:28,696
As for me, I find it more interesting
to pay my respects...

506
00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:31,657
...to a man who's had the courage
to live on this earth 109 years.

507
00:32:31,741 --> 00:32:35,035
You know, he's the oldest living man
in Canada, kids. Isn't that something?

508
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:38,956
Personally, I'd rather see
a 46-inch bust singing "Burning Love".

509
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:40,458
Yeah!

510
00:32:43,420 --> 00:32:44,837
Hey, Wally!

511
00:32:44,921 --> 00:32:47,423
- How you doing?
- How about a nice club soda, please?

512
00:32:47,507 --> 00:32:49,300
I'm driving tonight.

513
00:32:50,677 --> 00:32:54,263
Nice outfit!
You're Mr. Coordinated tonight, huh?

514
00:32:54,347 --> 00:32:56,348
- Well...
- Quite the look on you.

515
00:32:56,433 --> 00:33:01,479
Well, the pants are riding up the butt
something fierce...

516
00:33:01,563 --> 00:33:03,397
...but I'll get by.

517
00:33:03,982 --> 00:33:06,400
Say, Wally, what's the bear dump
situation like?

518
00:33:06,485 --> 00:33:08,319
We got a good one.

519
00:33:08,403 --> 00:33:10,696
Good evening, sir.
Happy birthday.

520
00:33:10,780 --> 00:33:13,741
He must be hard of hearing or something.
Try again.

521
00:33:13,825 --> 00:33:17,870
Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
Do you speak English?

522
00:33:17,954 --> 00:33:20,873
Our sincerest
congratulations, sir.

523
00:33:20,957 --> 00:33:23,834
- You wishing Mr. Tompkins a happy birthday?
- Yeah, Dad, about 100 times.

524
00:33:23,919 --> 00:33:26,462
I don't think the guy can hear us
or something. He's deaf.

525
00:33:26,546 --> 00:33:28,923
How about a nice group photo, huh?
Give me your camera.

526
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:30,591
All right,
everybody get in there.

527
00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:33,219
- What do I do, push the red button?
- Just the red button, Dad.

528
00:33:33,303 --> 00:33:34,970
- How do you focus?
- You don't focus.

529
00:33:35,055 --> 00:33:37,515
- You don't have to focus?
- No. Just push the red button.

530
00:33:37,599 --> 00:33:41,185
Chet, I don't like them youngsters
climbing around Mr. Tompkins like that.

531
00:33:41,269 --> 00:33:42,561
He ain't no jungle gym.

532
00:33:42,646 --> 00:33:45,940
All right, girls, why don't you kiss
Mr. Tompkins on the cheek?

533
00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:48,234
- A nice kiss on the cheek.
- No.

534
00:33:48,318 --> 00:33:49,860
Come on, it's cute.

535
00:33:49,945 --> 00:33:52,112
What old man wouldn't like
a little girl kissing him on the cheek?

536
00:33:52,197 --> 00:33:53,656
A dead one.

537
00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:55,741
Bill died in the car
on the way over here.

538
00:33:55,825 --> 00:34:00,204
- Jesus, Dad!
- Go wash, go wash, go wash!

539
00:34:00,288 --> 00:34:02,873
- I touched him!
- In the bathroom. In the bathroom.

540
00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:05,668
- How could you do that?
- I didn't do that. He did it.

541
00:34:05,752 --> 00:34:08,170
You're disgusting.
Kids?

542
00:34:26,565 --> 00:34:30,484
That was a real good shot.
That was really, really good.

543
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,667
What the hell...?

544
00:34:52,173 --> 00:34:55,342
Hey, you gave her a world-class goose
with the pool cue, Buck.

545
00:34:55,427 --> 00:34:57,219
She's so cute!

546
00:34:58,555 --> 00:35:01,557
Violent, but yeah, cute.
You got chalk right there.

547
00:35:02,976 --> 00:35:06,562
- Look, I'll be back in a couple of minutes.
- What about the bear dump?

548
00:35:12,694 --> 00:35:15,237
Hey, it's crowded.

549
00:35:15,322 --> 00:35:16,739
Hey, this is great.

550
00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:20,242
- Yeah, Dad.
- See, a lot of people are hip to this.

551
00:35:20,327 --> 00:35:21,827
Oh, yeah...

552
00:35:22,329 --> 00:35:23,996
Hey!

553
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:27,499
All right.
Look at those bears!

554
00:35:29,002 --> 00:35:32,254
Huh? Are you scared or what?
Look at the bears!

555
00:35:32,964 --> 00:35:35,674
- They're great, Dad.
- "They're great, Dad. "

556
00:35:35,759 --> 00:35:38,427
I've got a great idea.
You're gonna see some bears.

557
00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:40,012
Dad?

558
00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:47,102
Here you go.
Nice Zagnut.

559
00:35:48,021 --> 00:35:50,564
Yeah! Come on.

560
00:35:52,192 --> 00:35:53,942
Come on.

561
00:35:54,027 --> 00:35:56,153
Come on! More!

562
00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:59,698
Come on. Here's some more!

563
00:36:02,952 --> 00:36:05,287
Jeez. Boy, he likes those.

564
00:36:05,830 --> 00:36:07,998
Now we'll get some action.

565
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,960
Big head on him.
Whoo, boy!

566
00:36:12,045 --> 00:36:14,880
Easy, easy, easy there!
Easy!

567
00:36:15,548 --> 00:36:17,549
Hey, come on,
watch the paint job.

568
00:36:17,634 --> 00:36:18,884
Hey!

569
00:36:19,886 --> 00:36:22,096
Look at the size of those teeth.

570
00:36:24,766 --> 00:36:27,768
- Hey, shoo! Go on!
- Dad, I wouldn't do that.

571
00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:31,105
All right. You may be right.
Yeah, he's looking at us.

572
00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:35,234
He's not finished, that's it.
When he finishes, he'll go.

573
00:36:36,903 --> 00:36:39,238
- He's a pretty big bear.
- Very big.

574
00:36:39,322 --> 00:36:40,072
Yeah.

575
00:36:40,156 --> 00:36:42,366
Just let him eat his candy bar.

576
00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:47,413
Hi. How you doing?

577
00:36:49,749 --> 00:36:51,125
Whoa, jeez...

578
00:36:54,462 --> 00:36:58,215
Ah, jeez. All right,
all right, all right. Okay.

579
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,051
Let me rethink this.

580
00:37:01,136 --> 00:37:03,971
Hey! What the hell?

581
00:37:13,940 --> 00:37:15,607
All right...

582
00:37:16,401 --> 00:37:20,112
I've... I've told you
I loved you, right?

583
00:37:20,196 --> 00:37:22,281
- Yeah.
- Good, good.

584
00:37:24,617 --> 00:37:27,411
What do you say
we call it a night, huh?

585
00:37:27,495 --> 00:37:30,330
Holy jeez!
Oh, boy. Oh, boy...

586
00:37:30,415 --> 00:37:32,374
We started something.

587
00:37:33,585 --> 00:37:36,503
- Let's call it an evening.
- Yeah, I'm tired.

588
00:37:36,588 --> 00:37:40,132
- Me, too. Me, too. Yeah, let's just go.
- Yeah.

589
00:37:43,595 --> 00:37:45,846
That didn't scare him, Dad.

590
00:37:45,930 --> 00:37:50,434
I'm gonna move now.
I'm moving now!

591
00:37:50,518 --> 00:37:53,395
All right, I'll just drive out.

592
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:57,149
He'll jump right off, son.
Don't you worry.

593
00:37:57,817 --> 00:37:59,443
- Dad?
- Yeah?

594
00:37:59,527 --> 00:38:01,945
Isn't it illegal to drive
with a bear on your hood?

595
00:38:02,030 --> 00:38:05,991
I don't know in this state, son.
Look, I just don't...

596
00:38:06,075 --> 00:38:08,744
Yogi and Boo Boo in the flesh.

597
00:38:08,828 --> 00:38:12,581
I wish to hell Ranger Smith
would get out here and get us home.

598
00:38:12,665 --> 00:38:14,917
Hey, easy on the roof, pal.

599
00:38:15,001 --> 00:38:17,795
We should've brought
Uncle Roman's car.

600
00:38:23,384 --> 00:38:24,885
Knock, knock.

601
00:38:25,428 --> 00:38:29,181
You didn't give me a chance
to apologize.

602
00:38:35,355 --> 00:38:38,690
- Can I sit down?
- I don't own the park.

603
00:38:43,196 --> 00:38:44,863
Look, um...

604
00:38:46,115 --> 00:38:48,367
- I just got here. I'm from...
- Chicago.

605
00:38:49,327 --> 00:38:52,329
- How did you know?
- Look, it's no big trick, dude.

606
00:38:52,413 --> 00:38:55,916
Live all your life in this town,
it becomes like second nature.

607
00:38:56,501 --> 00:38:59,628
Guess this means that
I met my first local.

608
00:38:59,712 --> 00:39:02,548
You don't know how local I am.

609
00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:05,342
You know...

610
00:39:07,679 --> 00:39:09,388
It's...

611
00:39:10,390 --> 00:39:13,517
It's a really beautiful town.
I mean...

612
00:39:13,601 --> 00:39:15,769
It's a hole in the earth.

613
00:39:16,563 --> 00:39:20,774
Look, why don't you just save your breath?
I'm not a tourist attraction.

614
00:39:24,821 --> 00:39:26,780
What did I do?

615
00:39:35,748 --> 00:39:37,332
Hey, Dad.

616
00:39:38,501 --> 00:39:41,712
- How you doing, handsome?
- What are you doing down here?

617
00:39:42,922 --> 00:39:45,257
Getting a breath of night air.

618
00:39:48,261 --> 00:39:51,179
Hey, you wanna take a spin
in the rowboat?

619
00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:54,141
- Right now?
- Yeah, what the hell?

620
00:39:54,225 --> 00:39:56,351
- In the dark?
- We'll check out some stars.

621
00:39:56,436 --> 00:39:59,062
- I don't know, Dad.
- Come on. Let's do something.

622
00:39:59,147 --> 00:40:01,690
You know, we're here.
Let's go. Come on.

623
00:40:01,774 --> 00:40:04,067
Come on.
I'll let you row.

624
00:40:04,152 --> 00:40:05,819
- Oh, great.
- It'll be fun.

625
00:40:05,904 --> 00:40:07,195
Yeah...

626
00:40:09,073 --> 00:40:12,159
Boy, what a beautiful sky!

627
00:40:12,869 --> 00:40:15,787
Smell that air.
Isn't that something?

628
00:40:17,165 --> 00:40:18,916
That's the old city
in your lungs.

629
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,002
Get rid of that.
You're getting the good air in there now.

630
00:40:22,921 --> 00:40:26,924
You know, one day you're gonna be
coming up here with your kids.

631
00:40:27,008 --> 00:40:30,302
- Yeah. Maybe.
- I want to give you something.

632
00:40:30,386 --> 00:40:34,348
Dad, you're not gonna kiss me
in the boat under the moon, are you?

633
00:40:34,432 --> 00:40:38,894
I'm not gonna kiss you.
I'm gonna give you my ring.

634
00:40:40,063 --> 00:40:43,190
- Why?
- Why? Because...

635
00:40:43,274 --> 00:40:46,860
...my father gave it to me,
and now I'm giving it to you.

636
00:40:46,945 --> 00:40:49,071
You're grown up now.
You deserve it.

637
00:40:49,155 --> 00:40:50,781
So, like...

638
00:40:52,408 --> 00:40:56,578
You and I coming up to the woods
is like your father bringing you here.

639
00:40:56,663 --> 00:41:00,040
- Yeah, I guess so.
- Yeah. I understand.

640
00:41:01,542 --> 00:41:03,543
Thanks for the ring.

641
00:41:08,841 --> 00:41:11,051
Rocks on top of the cans.

642
00:41:11,552 --> 00:41:14,262
That never works.

643
00:41:15,390 --> 00:41:17,057
We'll just knock the cans over.

644
00:41:17,141 --> 00:41:18,558
Of course we will!

645
00:41:20,395 --> 00:41:26,358
Can I stay up again and watch
the big guy rake up all the mess?

646
00:41:59,058 --> 00:42:01,393
How you doing... Cammie?

647
00:42:03,271 --> 00:42:05,105
Can I help you?

648
00:42:05,606 --> 00:42:08,900
I don't know.
What's the house specialty?

649
00:42:09,902 --> 00:42:12,404
Where am I supposed
to put the tray?

650
00:42:12,905 --> 00:42:16,700
From the way you spoke to me last night,
I'm sure you can think 100 good places.

651
00:42:16,784 --> 00:42:19,828
I'm sorry about that.
I was in kind of a bad mood, okay?

652
00:42:20,830 --> 00:42:22,956
Don't worry about it. Happens
to me all the time. It's no big deal.

653
00:42:23,041 --> 00:42:25,542
But that doesn't mean
I didn't mean what I said.

654
00:42:25,626 --> 00:42:29,337
- For the most part, it's true.
- Wait. You don't even know me.

655
00:42:29,422 --> 00:42:31,965
How can you say
that's true of me?

656
00:42:32,050 --> 00:42:34,593
- It's a safe assumption.
- Excuse me.

657
00:42:34,677 --> 00:42:37,054
- Can we get some service over here?
- Yeah, I'll be right there. Just a sec.

658
00:42:37,138 --> 00:42:39,806
- Look, I gotta go. Okay?
- What time do you finish work?

659
00:42:40,933 --> 00:42:43,185
- 8:00.
- 8:00?

660
00:42:43,811 --> 00:42:46,605
And where are you gonna be
after work at 8:00?

661
00:42:46,689 --> 00:42:48,482
I'll be around.

662
00:42:49,192 --> 00:42:53,653
- Can I see you?
- Yeah, if you can find me.

663
00:43:20,431 --> 00:43:22,849
I got you! I got you!

664
00:43:31,943 --> 00:43:35,070
Come on, Chet!
Better ride up here!

665
00:43:35,154 --> 00:43:38,073
If you trail behind,
the Indians will get you.

666
00:43:38,157 --> 00:43:41,284
- Come on, honey.
- Uncle Roman, wait for Dad!

667
00:43:41,369 --> 00:43:43,870
- Dad, hurry up.
- Oh, boy...

668
00:43:43,955 --> 00:43:47,624
Watch out for those Wisconsin rattlers
or wild boar.

669
00:43:47,708 --> 00:43:50,710
Honey, come on!

670
00:43:51,879 --> 00:43:54,047
- Wait up, you guys.
- Come on.

671
00:43:54,715 --> 00:43:55,966
Hey, come on.

672
00:43:56,050 --> 00:43:56,800
Hey!

673
00:43:57,885 --> 00:44:00,554
Easy. All right. Okay.

674
00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:03,723
Okay, have it your way.
I'll just get off.

675
00:44:07,019 --> 00:44:11,523
Here we go. You all right?
Okay, let's go. We'll walk it. Come on.

676
00:44:12,108 --> 00:44:14,067
Come on! Let's...

677
00:44:14,944 --> 00:44:17,237
Hey. Easy, easy.

678
00:44:17,321 --> 00:44:20,240
Now, let's just walk
back to the stable. All right?

679
00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:24,744
I'm walking, you're walking.
Let's have a nice easy walk. Come on.

680
00:44:26,706 --> 00:44:30,292
All right. All right.
That was your last chance.

681
00:44:30,376 --> 00:44:32,377
That's it.
Have it your way.

682
00:44:33,713 --> 00:44:38,216
I don't wanna do this, but you
forced me to. Remember that.

683
00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:41,136
I hate to do this to you.

684
00:44:42,346 --> 00:44:45,432
Normally, I'm not a mean person,
but I'm a...

685
00:44:45,516 --> 00:44:48,560
Hey! Come back here!
Son of a bitch!

686
00:44:49,562 --> 00:44:52,939
I tell you that baby I was riding
was a purebred.

687
00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:55,233
Purebred mule horse.

688
00:44:56,152 --> 00:44:57,402
You rode it like it was.

689
00:44:57,486 --> 00:45:00,405
Hey, I'm telling you,
that baby was bred for packing.

690
00:45:00,489 --> 00:45:02,824
Honey, you're a stud.
You look great on that horse.

691
00:45:02,909 --> 00:45:04,618
- Here he comes.
- Where's our pal? Where is he?

692
00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:07,204
Oh, my gosh! Hi, honey.

693
00:45:07,288 --> 00:45:10,624
He lost his mount.
Hey, how you doing there, trooper?

694
00:45:10,708 --> 00:45:14,002
Where's that ball-slapping nag
you were riding?

695
00:45:14,086 --> 00:45:17,505
- He looks a little worse for wear, doesn't he?
- You okay, Dad?

696
00:45:17,590 --> 00:45:19,925
- I'm okay.
- Did that horse buck you off?

697
00:45:20,009 --> 00:45:23,762
What happened? You got hungry
and had to eat the nag, huh?

698
00:45:23,846 --> 00:45:25,472
- Let's go home.
- What did he say?

699
00:45:25,556 --> 00:45:26,890
- I think I'll go home.
- You go home?

700
00:45:26,974 --> 00:45:27,891
- Yeah.
- Home?

701
00:45:27,975 --> 00:45:30,435
We've got a whole day of
activities planned. A little nap.

702
00:45:30,519 --> 00:45:31,978
- No, come on!
- Oh, yeah.

703
00:45:32,063 --> 00:45:33,980
- Aw, come on!
- I'm fine.

704
00:45:34,065 --> 00:45:36,107
- A little nap. I'm okay.
- Hey!

705
00:46:06,138 --> 00:46:09,182
Yeah, I know muskie's
the big-deal fish up in these waters...

706
00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:11,518
...but you come with me up to the
Norfolk Canyon off the coast of Virginia...

707
00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:12,852
...I'll strap you
into a fishing chair...

708
00:46:12,937 --> 00:46:14,938
...and let you hook into
a 1,000-pound blue marlin.

709
00:46:15,022 --> 00:46:18,400
Buddy, you're gonna know what fishing's
all about with a capital "F".

710
00:46:18,484 --> 00:46:20,026
You'll have to excuse
my brother-in-law.

711
00:46:20,111 --> 00:46:22,570
He gets a couple cocktails into him,
he becomes an expert on everything.

712
00:46:22,655 --> 00:46:24,906
I don't need cocktails for that.
Was that a shot?

713
00:46:24,991 --> 00:46:26,241
No, that was the truth.

714
00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:29,035
- That was a shot!
- That was a shot.

715
00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:31,579
Speaking of shots, set us up.

716
00:46:32,873 --> 00:46:35,125
- This guy's a riot.
- Isn't he, though?

717
00:46:35,209 --> 00:46:37,919
- Everybody loves him, right?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

718
00:46:38,004 --> 00:46:40,839
By the way, Herm, you make
a lot of tips on this job?

719
00:46:40,923 --> 00:46:43,675
- Well, I do all right.
- Who's handling your investments?

720
00:46:43,759 --> 00:46:46,219
My wife's got some egg money
put aside.

721
00:46:46,304 --> 00:46:48,888
But she's a real bear.
Won't give it up to me.

722
00:46:48,973 --> 00:46:51,391
Yeah. Well, I'll take her phone number.
I'll change that.

723
00:46:51,475 --> 00:46:53,977
Believe me, that's what I do for a living.
Investments is what I do!

724
00:46:54,061 --> 00:46:55,854
How you doing?

725
00:46:55,938 --> 00:47:00,734
Well, it ain't raining.

726
00:47:00,818 --> 00:47:03,987
It ain't raining,
so that's good.

727
00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:05,739
Yeah, I guess so.

728
00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:09,326
- You fellows met Reg?
- I don't think so. How you doing?

729
00:47:09,410 --> 00:47:12,245
Roman Craig.
Pleased to meet you.

730
00:47:12,330 --> 00:47:15,582
Chet Ripley.
How do you do?

731
00:47:16,167 --> 00:47:18,460
That's quite a hairdo
you got going there, Reg.

732
00:47:18,544 --> 00:47:20,754
- That a neo-skunk thing or...?
- Roman, what are you...?

733
00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:23,256
- He's got the hair.
- You don't have to say anything.

734
00:47:23,341 --> 00:47:26,634
His hair turned white
'cause lightning hit him.

735
00:47:27,470 --> 00:47:31,014
He's been struck by lightning.
How many times is it now, Reg?

736
00:47:31,098 --> 00:47:35,935
- Six... Six...
- Six times!

737
00:47:36,020 --> 00:47:41,232
Sixty-six times.

738
00:47:41,317 --> 00:47:46,988
In... the head!

739
00:47:47,073 --> 00:47:50,033
66 times!

740
00:47:51,452 --> 00:47:54,204
God...!
That's gotta hurt!

741
00:47:54,288 --> 00:47:58,583
You'll never meet a guy more tuned into
the barometric pressure than Reg is.

742
00:47:58,667 --> 00:48:03,171
Yeah. You see him running like hell
for home, you head for cover.

743
00:48:03,255 --> 00:48:04,631
Right, Reg?

744
00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:07,717
Hey, buddy, you pay for the drinks.
I gotta go to the john. I'll be right back.

745
00:48:07,802 --> 00:48:10,303
Gonna introduce Mr. Thick Dick
to Mr. Urinal Cake.

746
00:48:10,388 --> 00:48:12,680
Aw, jeez, Roman,
do you have to be...?

747
00:48:13,349 --> 00:48:17,227
What I really want to say is
thank you.

748
00:48:17,311 --> 00:48:19,813
This is very important
to Roman and me.

749
00:48:19,897 --> 00:48:22,941
- I miss you, Connie.
- Oh, honey.

750
00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:31,825
- It's so lonely being wealthy.
- I wouldn't know about that.

751
00:48:31,909 --> 00:48:36,454
No, no, I mean it, honey!
I mean it. It is lonely.

752
00:48:36,539 --> 00:48:40,625
He works terrible hours.
Travels.

753
00:48:41,252 --> 00:48:45,004
There'll be times we'll go a month
without going to bed together.

754
00:48:45,089 --> 00:48:47,424
Really, a month?
That long?

755
00:48:48,759 --> 00:48:51,219
Sometimes I think the only way
I'll get any pleasure...

756
00:48:51,303 --> 00:48:54,764
...is by leaning against the washer
during the spin cycle.

757
00:48:55,599 --> 00:48:57,308
Does that really work?

758
00:48:57,393 --> 00:49:00,061
Have you ever seen
whiter whites?

759
00:49:04,608 --> 00:49:07,110
When do you go back to Chicago?

760
00:49:08,362 --> 00:49:10,238
Three days.

761
00:49:11,365 --> 00:49:15,285
You know, I've never had a boyfriend
for longer than two weeks.

762
00:49:16,454 --> 00:49:17,745
Get out of here.

763
00:49:17,830 --> 00:49:19,539
That's why I was such a bitch
to you that first night.

764
00:49:19,623 --> 00:49:22,459
- No, you weren't a bitch.
- Yes, yes, I was.

765
00:49:22,543 --> 00:49:24,878
It's no big deal.
Don't worry about it.

766
00:49:24,962 --> 00:49:27,797
That's why I don't understand
what I'm doing here with you.

767
00:49:30,050 --> 00:49:33,511
Look, I've never even
had a girlfriend.

768
00:49:33,596 --> 00:49:38,766
I mean, I've dated girls, but, you know,
I never had one I'd call my girlfriend.

769
00:49:38,851 --> 00:49:41,102
What would you call me?

770
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,271
Officially?

771
00:49:47,443 --> 00:49:49,360
Girlfriend?

772
00:49:49,987 --> 00:49:53,490
And you're leaving in three days.
See what I mean?

773
00:49:53,574 --> 00:49:55,074
Yeah.

774
00:49:55,493 --> 00:49:56,951
Well?

775
00:49:57,536 --> 00:49:58,995
Well what?

776
00:50:18,849 --> 00:50:22,101
- What, what, what, what?
- It touched me!

777
00:50:22,186 --> 00:50:24,771
It's been touching you for 12 years!
You never freaked!

778
00:50:24,855 --> 00:50:26,731
- Not you!
- What?

779
00:50:26,815 --> 00:50:28,650
- A thing!
- What thing?

780
00:50:29,235 --> 00:50:32,278
What's going on, for God sakes?
What is it? What is it? What is it?

781
00:50:32,363 --> 00:50:34,697
That thing!

782
00:50:36,283 --> 00:50:39,369
It's just a little sparrow.

783
00:50:39,453 --> 00:50:41,412
Come on, Roman, it's got ears!

784
00:50:41,497 --> 00:50:42,705
Jesus!

785
00:50:46,377 --> 00:50:49,671
Jesus Marie! It's a tiny flying mouse,
not a grizzly bear.

786
00:50:49,755 --> 00:50:52,006
I am not going back in there
until you get it out.

787
00:50:52,091 --> 00:50:54,425
- All right. We'll get it out. Chet?
- What?

788
00:50:54,510 --> 00:50:58,846
Run down to the shed, get a shovel. Go
in there and get that radar-guided vermin.

789
00:50:58,931 --> 00:51:00,306
Yeah.

790
00:51:00,808 --> 00:51:02,684
- Why me?
- Well, it's your cabin.

791
00:51:02,768 --> 00:51:05,353
- We didn't order one with bats.
- Well, you stay here too, you know.

792
00:51:05,437 --> 00:51:06,187
You're the host.

793
00:51:06,272 --> 00:51:08,773
- So, what?
- Stop fighting and go, go, go kill it.

794
00:51:08,857 --> 00:51:10,608
- I don't think we have to kill it, mom.
- Kill it!

795
00:51:10,693 --> 00:51:14,404
- No, Ben, it didn't do anything.
- It attacked me.

796
00:51:15,114 --> 00:51:17,490
Okay, he's wimping out.
I'll have to take care of it.

797
00:51:17,575 --> 00:51:19,701
I am not wimping, all right?
I'm just thinking.

798
00:51:19,785 --> 00:51:21,619
There's a big difference
between wimping and thinking.

799
00:51:21,704 --> 00:51:23,955
You want me to take care of the thing,
I'll take care of the thing.

800
00:51:24,039 --> 00:51:27,000
I was just wondering who was gonna do it.
I'll do it. I'll take care of it.

801
00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:29,961
Like to get some sleep.
That's what I'd like to do.

802
00:51:30,045 --> 00:51:32,589
Afraid of a little bat...

803
00:51:39,930 --> 00:51:42,682
- So?
- It buzzed me.

804
00:51:42,766 --> 00:51:44,267
We need a plan.

805
00:51:44,351 --> 00:51:47,145
It's bigger than I thought.
It's about a two-pounder.

806
00:51:47,229 --> 00:51:48,646
- Two-pounder?
- Yeah, big wings.

807
00:51:48,731 --> 00:51:50,732
- Wow.
- It's got the teeth.

808
00:51:50,816 --> 00:51:52,442
- Terrible. It's frightening.
- Wow.

809
00:51:53,402 --> 00:51:56,404
I think we have to...
We have to do something.

810
00:51:56,488 --> 00:51:59,991
What we need, Roman, big plan, big plan.
That's what we need.

811
00:52:08,292 --> 00:52:11,085
We'll have this little baby
squealing mayday by midnight.

812
00:52:11,170 --> 00:52:13,171
All right. Let's split up.

813
00:52:19,762 --> 00:52:21,387
- Do you see him?
- He's hiding.

814
00:52:21,472 --> 00:52:22,847
- I know that.
- Turn out the lights.

815
00:52:22,931 --> 00:52:23,931
- Why?
- He's nocturnal.

816
00:52:24,016 --> 00:52:25,808
He'll think
it's daytime like this.

817
00:52:25,893 --> 00:52:27,352
Good point.

818
00:52:30,773 --> 00:52:35,318
- Now we got him.
- Come on, you little sonar-guided rodent.

819
00:52:35,986 --> 00:52:39,906
- Connie, bats carry rabies, don't they?
- Yeah, among other things.

820
00:52:39,990 --> 00:52:41,157
What? Do they?

821
00:52:41,241 --> 00:52:43,451
I'm gonna call him.
I'm gonna call him now.

822
00:52:43,535 --> 00:52:46,287
- Okay, okay, just be still.
- All right.

823
00:52:48,415 --> 00:52:50,875
- Are you kissing him or calling him?
- No, I'm calling him down.

824
00:52:50,959 --> 00:52:52,085
That's just the sound they make.

825
00:52:52,169 --> 00:52:55,129
- The high-pitched squeal.
- Okay, okay.

826
00:53:00,094 --> 00:53:02,345
Right there. Right there, Dad.
Look up! Look up!

827
00:53:08,519 --> 00:53:09,894
I got him!

828
00:53:15,025 --> 00:53:16,401
Think fast! Think fast!

829
00:53:16,485 --> 00:53:20,780
- Get the light on him!
- Dad, keep your eye on the bat, okay?

830
00:53:22,282 --> 00:53:24,367
Look at that thing move!

831
00:53:27,538 --> 00:53:30,081
Christ almighty!
Oh, jeez, my head!

832
00:53:30,165 --> 00:53:31,582
Oh, my head.

833
00:53:31,667 --> 00:53:33,334
- Where is he?
- I don't know!

834
00:53:33,419 --> 00:53:35,044
He's in the rafters!
He's refueling!

835
00:53:35,129 --> 00:53:37,672
- Where are you? Where are you?
- Right here!

836
00:53:38,340 --> 00:53:41,175
- He's on my face! He's on my face!
- Hold still!

837
00:53:43,262 --> 00:53:44,387
Honey...

838
00:53:44,471 --> 00:53:46,305
We got it!

839
00:53:46,390 --> 00:53:48,808
- We got it!
- Oh, the pain.

840
00:53:48,892 --> 00:53:52,812
- Chet, we got it!
- Ooh, that had to hurt.

841
00:53:54,481 --> 00:53:57,984
What a fighter.
Boy, he was something!

842
00:53:58,068 --> 00:53:59,944
I salute him!

843
00:54:00,487 --> 00:54:03,573
But we gotta get some sleep.

844
00:54:14,626 --> 00:54:16,294
Hey.

845
00:54:16,378 --> 00:54:19,255
- Glad to see you.
- Yeah. What time do you get off work tonight?

846
00:54:19,339 --> 00:54:21,632
- 8:00.
- Great, I'll meet you at 9.00.

847
00:54:21,717 --> 00:54:26,220
- Okay. Where?
- I don't know. You're the one who lives here.

848
00:54:26,305 --> 00:54:28,973
- Um, the bait shop?
- Sure.

849
00:54:29,057 --> 00:54:31,392
I'll buy you some worms.

850
00:54:31,810 --> 00:54:36,063
- You won't ditch me?
- Wait a second. Why would I ditch you?

851
00:54:36,148 --> 00:54:39,484
I don't know.
I'm waiting for it to happen.

852
00:54:39,568 --> 00:54:41,152
Look, if I ditch you...

853
00:54:41,236 --> 00:54:45,072
...you have my permission never to speak
to me as long as we both shall live.

854
00:54:45,157 --> 00:54:47,617
- Promise?
- Promise.

855
00:54:54,374 --> 00:54:56,334
I got to go.

856
00:54:56,418 --> 00:54:58,795
- See you later.
- Bye.

857
00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:05,134
- Yeah. That should do it. Yeah.
- I think that's a good idea.

858
00:55:05,219 --> 00:55:09,388
All right. I'll have the Royal Canadian
Mounted beef barley soup.

859
00:55:09,473 --> 00:55:12,934
- Ooh! Yeah.
- Yeah. And then that bucket of salad.

860
00:55:13,018 --> 00:55:14,393
- Oh, I'll split that with you.
- You will?

861
00:55:14,478 --> 00:55:16,312
- Yeah.
- All right, do that. That would help.

862
00:55:16,396 --> 00:55:19,106
And then the...
I guess the medley of perch.

863
00:55:19,191 --> 00:55:22,026
That's my favorite.
Okay.

864
00:55:22,110 --> 00:55:25,696
Miss? What's the "Old '96er"?

865
00:55:25,781 --> 00:55:29,492
Oh, that's our world-famous
Paul Bunyan's Blue Ox Steak.

866
00:55:29,576 --> 00:55:32,662
It is a 96-ounce
prime-aged beef steak.

867
00:55:32,746 --> 00:55:37,166
And if you or any member of your party
orders the Old '96er and finishes...

868
00:55:37,251 --> 00:55:40,419
- ... everybody eats for free.
- Not bad, huh?

869
00:55:40,504 --> 00:55:43,673
- Want to go for it, girls?
- Oh, Roman...

870
00:55:43,757 --> 00:55:46,008
- How about you, Chet?
- People seem to like that.

871
00:55:46,093 --> 00:55:48,261
- I'll try it. What the heck.
- Okay, great. Yeah, it sounds good.

872
00:55:48,345 --> 00:55:51,389
Seriously, though,
has anybody ever eaten one?

873
00:55:51,473 --> 00:55:54,141
No.
No, not in my lifetime, no.

874
00:56:16,331 --> 00:56:17,790
Bon app�tit.

875
00:56:18,750 --> 00:56:19,876
Oh, good God.

876
00:56:21,253 --> 00:56:23,880
- Look at that.
- Check it out.

877
00:57:02,002 --> 00:57:03,377
How is he?

878
00:57:06,673 --> 00:57:09,759
That's good. Processing nicely.
Processing very, very good.

879
00:57:09,843 --> 00:57:11,719
All right, continue.

880
00:57:27,361 --> 00:57:28,444
All right.

881
00:57:28,528 --> 00:57:29,904
I did it.

882
00:57:35,619 --> 00:57:38,746
- I think that just about does it.
- He's not done yet.

883
00:57:38,830 --> 00:57:41,832
Well, he may take a little while
with that last bite, but it'll go down.

884
00:57:41,917 --> 00:57:44,418
- That ain't the last bite.
- Well, sure it is.

885
00:57:44,503 --> 00:57:47,546
There's nothing on that plate
but gristle and fat.

886
00:57:49,174 --> 00:57:51,676
- Oh, God, no.
- No problem.

887
00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:54,261
Listen,
if I can get a dessert down him...

888
00:57:54,346 --> 00:57:57,473
...you think you could throw in
a couple of Paul Bunyan hats for the kids?

889
00:58:03,271 --> 00:58:04,271
Mind if I go now?

890
00:58:04,356 --> 00:58:07,525
They'll be telling
their grandkids about this.

891
00:58:07,609 --> 00:58:10,027
- Oh, boy! What a night, huh?
- Okay, but don't be too late.

892
00:58:10,112 --> 00:58:11,612
Where's he going?

893
00:58:11,697 --> 00:58:14,782
That Jimbo's not a bad guy.
I just had a word with him.

894
00:58:14,866 --> 00:58:16,075
Here's the kicker...

895
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:20,121
Where're the garbage cans?

896
00:58:20,205 --> 00:58:22,206
He probably put them
in the cabin.

897
00:58:22,874 --> 00:58:24,417
Garbage in the cabin?

898
00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:28,087
They're not the cleanest species
on the face of the earth, you know.

899
00:58:28,171 --> 00:58:31,048
It's not a problem.
We'll just have to break in.

900
00:58:31,133 --> 00:58:33,009
Can we do that?

901
00:58:33,093 --> 00:58:35,761
What do you think we have these
wonderfully articulate fingers for?

902
00:58:35,846 --> 00:58:38,097
To scratch our asses!

903
00:58:51,653 --> 00:58:53,237
Shit!

904
00:59:11,423 --> 00:59:14,300
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, jeez.

905
00:59:15,427 --> 00:59:17,887
Look at the size
of the maggots on that meat.

906
00:59:20,474 --> 00:59:22,475
Oh, honey!

907
00:59:31,276 --> 00:59:32,943
- Oh, my God.
- Honey.

908
00:59:34,696 --> 00:59:37,531
Let's go, everybody, move it out.
It's 5 a. m.

909
00:59:37,616 --> 00:59:40,743
Fishing boat's shoving off
in 15 minutes.

910
00:59:43,538 --> 00:59:45,414
These are the biggest worms
I've ever encountered.

911
00:59:45,499 --> 00:59:49,251
- They're not worms, they're leeches.
- Jesus! I am not touching leeches, Dad.

912
00:59:49,336 --> 00:59:51,128
- No way.
- Cut it out. They don't bite.

913
00:59:51,213 --> 00:59:53,631
- No. They suck blood!
- Ow! Would you watch the hook?

914
00:59:53,715 --> 00:59:54,715
Dad, that's my hook.

915
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:56,717
- Where's the bins? Where's the flashlights?
- I don't know.

916
00:59:56,802 --> 00:59:59,637
Right over there, behind you.
You owe me big for this one.

917
01:00:01,098 --> 01:00:03,641
- Jesus.
- Very funny, very funny.

918
01:00:03,725 --> 01:00:06,894
Gimme a leech, will you?
Has everybody got their leech?

919
01:00:06,978 --> 01:00:08,562
- Yeah.
- Okay. All right.

920
01:00:08,647 --> 01:00:10,981
On the count of three,
insert your hook. Ready?

921
01:00:11,066 --> 01:00:14,318
One, two, three.

922
01:00:15,904 --> 01:00:17,613
Oh, God!

923
01:00:46,810 --> 01:00:49,728
- May I speak with Cammie, please?
- Oh, yeah, hold on just a minute.

924
01:00:49,813 --> 01:00:51,564
Cammie, phone.

925
01:00:52,691 --> 01:00:55,651
Cammie's busy waiting on cars right now.
May I take a message?

926
01:00:57,946 --> 01:01:00,614
All right.
Just please tell her that Buck called.

927
01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:03,492
Okay, fine, Buck.
Goodbye.

928
01:01:16,590 --> 01:01:18,924
- Now what are you up to?
- What does it look like I'm up to?

929
01:01:19,009 --> 01:01:23,012
- It looks like you're wanking your crank.
- I'm trying to build a fire, all right?

930
01:01:23,096 --> 01:01:25,973
You might as well pour ice cubes in there.
You'll never get a fire going that way.

931
01:01:26,057 --> 01:01:29,351
You don't crumple a newspaper up.
You twist it. Twist it.

932
01:01:29,436 --> 01:01:33,606
Lengthwise to simulate kindling.
That's the way you get it going.

933
01:01:33,690 --> 01:01:37,985
Maybe, Roman, just maybe
I'm trying to heat up the flue.

934
01:01:39,070 --> 01:01:40,696
Oh, he's heating the flue.

935
01:01:40,780 --> 01:01:43,449
Meanwhile the human beings
in the room are freezing to death.

936
01:01:43,533 --> 01:01:48,245
- I'm really not cold. Not at all.
- Oh, thank you for sharing that. Thank you.

937
01:01:48,330 --> 01:01:52,082
I'm so sorry, Roman.
Forgive me.

938
01:01:52,167 --> 01:01:54,543
Why don't you come over here
and show me how to do it?

939
01:01:54,628 --> 01:01:57,713
You talk a great game.
Come over. Let's see a little action.

940
01:01:57,797 --> 01:01:59,590
After all, you know everything.

941
01:01:59,674 --> 01:02:03,010
You know exactly what to do
at any given moment.

942
01:02:03,094 --> 01:02:05,554
Katie, you were absolutely right.
We should have gone to Europe.

943
01:02:05,639 --> 01:02:08,557
Or maybe even Haiti, or Antarctica.
Or the Dead Sea.

944
01:02:08,642 --> 01:02:11,185
Would've had a lot more fun!

945
01:02:11,269 --> 01:02:12,519
Is that a fact?

946
01:02:12,604 --> 01:02:16,148
Well, nobody forced you
to come up here, buddy boy.

947
01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:20,444
As a matter of fact, I don't remember
anybody inviting you up here.

948
01:02:20,528 --> 01:02:22,446
Do you remember inviting him?

949
01:02:24,157 --> 01:02:26,784
I sure as hell don't.

950
01:02:26,868 --> 01:02:29,453
And what exactly is that
statement supposed to mean?

951
01:02:29,537 --> 01:02:32,289
- You figure it out for yourself.
- No, no, no, you specify.

952
01:02:32,374 --> 01:02:36,210
You clarify it for me. All right? Just as
a common courtesy, if you don't mind.

953
01:02:36,294 --> 01:02:37,920
You know damn well
what he means.

954
01:02:38,004 --> 01:02:41,382
I think they're trying to say
that we're not welcome.

955
01:02:42,133 --> 01:02:45,678
What did I hear?
We've got a bingo!

956
01:02:45,762 --> 01:02:47,846
You did figure it out, Kate.

957
01:02:47,931 --> 01:02:52,601
So, now it's all starting to ooze out.
It's very interesting, isn't it, Katie?

958
01:02:52,686 --> 01:02:54,228
Yeah, very.

959
01:02:54,312 --> 01:02:56,772
Especially since we threw aside
our plans.

960
01:02:56,856 --> 01:03:00,567
And we had a great European vacation planned.
Threw aside our plans to come up here...

961
01:03:00,652 --> 01:03:04,238
...to show these dead asses how to start
to learn to have a good time.

962
01:03:04,322 --> 01:03:07,074
Thanks for ruining
my vacation, Ripley.

963
01:03:07,951 --> 01:03:09,743
What was that?

964
01:03:10,453 --> 01:03:12,538
Ruining your vacation?
Is that what you said?

965
01:03:12,622 --> 01:03:18,002
Oh, come on. I don't believe...
I don't believe I heard you say that.

966
01:03:18,086 --> 01:03:21,297
- You'd better believe it!
- Don't push it, Roman!

967
01:03:21,381 --> 01:03:25,342
You ain't even seen pushing yet!
You know the trouble with you, Ripley?

968
01:03:25,427 --> 01:03:27,386
You wouldn't know a good time if it fell
out of the sky...

969
01:03:27,470 --> 01:03:30,222
...landed on your face,
and started to wiggle.

970
01:03:30,932 --> 01:03:34,018
Oh, you have an awful lot of nerve, Roman.
A lot of nerve.

971
01:03:34,102 --> 01:03:37,438
It's served me well.
I'm the one with the Mercedes.

972
01:03:37,522 --> 01:03:39,732
By the way, is it paid for?

973
01:03:39,816 --> 01:03:42,901
- Are you jealous, Chester?
- Don't call me Chester!

974
01:03:42,986 --> 01:03:46,155
Call me that one more time, you're gonna
go home with a dent in your forehead.

975
01:03:46,239 --> 01:03:49,533
- Yeah! That'll be the day.
- Would you like one to match his?

976
01:03:49,617 --> 01:03:51,785
Hey, take it off!
You wanna go right now?

977
01:03:51,870 --> 01:03:54,580
Dad, Dad, Dad,
no one's denting anybody.

978
01:03:54,664 --> 01:03:57,750
- Thanks, Bucky.
- Oh, bite the big one, Uncle Roman!

979
01:03:57,834 --> 01:04:00,502
- Hey, don't talk to adults that way!
- Why not?

980
01:04:00,587 --> 01:04:04,006
- Because it's rude.
- Oh, blow it out your ass.

981
01:04:04,090 --> 01:04:06,050
Roman, why don't we just get out of here?
Come on, honey.

982
01:04:06,134 --> 01:04:07,551
- Come on, girls, let's go.
- Very good idea.

983
01:04:07,635 --> 01:04:10,888
Well, it's the first good idea
you've had since you've been here.

984
01:04:10,972 --> 01:04:13,682
And by the way,
don't steal any of our stuff.

985
01:04:13,767 --> 01:04:17,144
- What stuff is there to steal?
- We've got stuff!

986
01:04:17,228 --> 01:04:21,940
- You're a louse!
- Oh! Well, go find yourself a spin cycle.

987
01:04:22,025 --> 01:04:24,651
Yeah, go find yourself
a spin cycle.

988
01:04:25,570 --> 01:04:27,196
- What is that supposed to mean?
- Never mind, honey.

989
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:29,490
- All right, calm down, calm down.
- Okay.

990
01:04:29,574 --> 01:04:31,116
Dad?

991
01:04:32,077 --> 01:04:32,993
Yes, Ben?

992
01:04:33,078 --> 01:04:36,330
Does this mean we won't get
a Christmas present from Uncle Roman?

993
01:04:36,414 --> 01:04:39,083
- Oh, blow it out your ass, Ben!
- Okay, okay, okay.

994
01:04:39,167 --> 01:04:41,502
Nobody's blowing anything
out their ass. Okay?

995
01:04:41,586 --> 01:04:43,128
What we're having here
is a little problem.

996
01:04:43,213 --> 01:04:47,216
And your father and I... It does not mean
we don't love Uncle Roman and Aunt Kate.

997
01:04:47,300 --> 01:04:48,967
It just means that
we are having some emotions.

998
01:04:49,052 --> 01:04:53,555
What it means is I would like to blow Uncle
Roman out my ass! That's what it means.

999
01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:57,601
I don't want to hear anymore about anyone
blowing anything out their ass.

1000
01:04:57,685 --> 01:05:00,687
You might as well blow the whole family
out your ass while you're at it, Dad.

1001
01:05:00,772 --> 01:05:04,525
Ben, do you understand
what's going on here, son, huh?

1002
01:05:04,609 --> 01:05:06,402
Do you understand what your mother
and I are trying to say?

1003
01:05:06,486 --> 01:05:08,904
Aunt Kate and Uncle Roman
are incredible butt heads. Right?

1004
01:05:08,988 --> 01:05:10,155
- Exactly.
- Exactly.

1005
01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:25,546
All right, troops, mount up.
We're ready to roll.

1006
01:05:26,423 --> 01:05:28,507
You all packed?

1007
01:05:28,591 --> 01:05:30,509
Actually, I just took a moment
to think things over.

1008
01:05:30,593 --> 01:05:35,180
And I'm gonna tell you something
I had previously decided not to.

1009
01:05:35,265 --> 01:05:38,016
I came up here for a reason.

1010
01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:41,395
Chet, I came up here to talk
to you about an investment.

1011
01:05:41,479 --> 01:05:45,441
In fact, I'll be quite honest,
I came up to solicit $25,000 from you.

1012
01:05:45,525 --> 01:05:48,610
I knew it. I knew it.
I knew it.

1013
01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:51,613
Hey, look. A unique
investment opportunity came my way.

1014
01:05:51,698 --> 01:05:53,615
I'm sitting in the office
trying to figure out a short list...

1015
01:05:53,700 --> 01:05:56,452
...of the people I'm gonna bless
with this opportunity, and I say bless...

1016
01:05:56,536 --> 01:05:59,204
...because this is so good and so sure,
it should be illegal.

1017
01:05:59,289 --> 01:06:01,832
- And it probably is.
- Well, it's not.

1018
01:06:01,916 --> 01:06:04,585
It's inside,
but it's not illegal.

1019
01:06:04,669 --> 01:06:07,588
Well, the upside is phenomenal,
the downside is zip.

1020
01:06:07,672 --> 01:06:10,549
As I was sitting there thinking about people
I might want to involve in this venture...

1021
01:06:10,633 --> 01:06:15,095
...well, your name came up. Why?
Because you are blood. You're family.

1022
01:06:15,180 --> 01:06:17,473
If a guy can't help his family,
what the hell good is he?

1023
01:06:17,557 --> 01:06:21,768
Fact is, Chet, I came up here to offer you
a chance to make some really big money.

1024
01:06:21,853 --> 01:06:24,646
Well, it's funny
you didn't mention this before.

1025
01:06:24,731 --> 01:06:27,983
- You didn't want to talk about money!
- Oh, baloney!

1026
01:06:28,067 --> 01:06:32,362
- Hey, look, I was picking my moment.
- You were picking your nose.

1027
01:06:34,741 --> 01:06:37,117
Now, there's no
mystery here, Chet.

1028
01:06:37,202 --> 01:06:40,245
- I know how you really feel about me.
- Do you?

1029
01:06:40,330 --> 01:06:41,747
Yep.

1030
01:06:42,457 --> 01:06:45,959
I knew if I was ever to give you something,
you'd figure there'd be strings attached.

1031
01:06:46,044 --> 01:06:49,254
- Is that a fact?
- Yeah, that's a fact.

1032
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:52,716
At our wedding...

1033
01:06:53,927 --> 01:06:58,847
...you were in the john with Kate
and Connie's dad. You were talking.

1034
01:06:58,932 --> 01:07:02,643
Do you happen to remember
the substance of that conversation?

1035
01:07:03,603 --> 01:07:06,480
- No, I don't.
- Yeah? Well, I do.

1036
01:07:07,273 --> 01:07:09,608
It's one I'll never forget.

1037
01:07:09,692 --> 01:07:13,779
Because I heard you say,
and I quote:

1038
01:07:13,863 --> 01:07:17,407
"That Roman Craig
is a crooked son of a bitch. "

1039
01:07:17,492 --> 01:07:20,077
The next time you stab
somebody in the back, Chester...

1040
01:07:20,161 --> 01:07:22,454
...you better check
under the stalls for feet.

1041
01:07:23,414 --> 01:07:25,958
You know, you may think I'm made
out of armor and nails, man...

1042
01:07:26,042 --> 01:07:28,335
...but I'm just like
any other human being.

1043
01:07:28,419 --> 01:07:32,047
And when I get cut, it hurts.
And that cut me.

1044
01:07:32,131 --> 01:07:33,882
And I hurt.

1045
01:07:35,677 --> 01:07:37,177
Roman, I'm...

1046
01:07:38,429 --> 01:07:40,347
I'm sorry. I...

1047
01:07:41,349 --> 01:07:43,267
I had a lot to drink that night.

1048
01:07:43,351 --> 01:07:46,395
And I really don't remember
saying that.

1049
01:07:46,479 --> 01:07:48,397
But if you said I did...

1050
01:07:49,857 --> 01:07:51,567
...then...

1051
01:07:52,402 --> 01:07:54,528
...I must have.

1052
01:07:56,573 --> 01:08:00,993
I apologize to you both.
It was a terrible thing to say.

1053
01:08:02,704 --> 01:08:06,081
Look, I don't hold grudges
and I don't have any hard feelings.

1054
01:08:06,165 --> 01:08:10,085
To show you I'm the kind of guy
that can forgive and forget, well...

1055
01:08:10,169 --> 01:08:13,130
...I'd still like to offer you
a piece of that investment.

1056
01:08:14,716 --> 01:08:16,675
You're sweet.

1057
01:08:17,927 --> 01:08:20,929
I don't know what to say,
Roman. I... I...

1058
01:08:21,014 --> 01:08:23,432
I feel like a real idiot.

1059
01:08:24,309 --> 01:08:28,103
- What exactly is this thing again?
- That's $25,000. What's your cash position?

1060
01:08:30,940 --> 01:08:33,817
It isn't $25,000.
That's an awful lot of money.

1061
01:08:33,901 --> 01:08:36,194
Well, can you get it?

1062
01:08:37,030 --> 01:08:38,071
No.

1063
01:08:38,156 --> 01:08:43,994
I think I can make an arrangement or two
at the bank on Monday, if that's okay.

1064
01:08:44,078 --> 01:08:46,121
Hey, look,
now, whatever you want to do.

1065
01:08:46,205 --> 01:08:48,373
You can write a check now
for as much as you can cover.

1066
01:08:48,458 --> 01:08:50,792
I'll make up the difference,
and we'll square it away on Monday.

1067
01:08:50,877 --> 01:08:54,463
If that's okay with...
Is your checkbook in the purse?

1068
01:08:54,547 --> 01:08:58,008
- Yeah.
- Great. Okay. Then that's fine.

1069
01:09:04,265 --> 01:09:06,266
- Bye.
- Goodbye.

1070
01:09:06,351 --> 01:09:09,811
Well, I think it's a real testament
to the strength of the family...

1071
01:09:09,896 --> 01:09:12,606
...that we can disagree
so vehemently...

1072
01:09:12,690 --> 01:09:16,735
...and get on each other's nerves
so badly over the past week...

1073
01:09:16,819 --> 01:09:20,989
- ... and still part on good terms.
- Absolutely.

1074
01:09:22,158 --> 01:09:24,493
After all the disagreements
that you and Chet had...

1075
01:09:24,577 --> 01:09:27,704
...you still thought to include him
in that investment.

1076
01:09:27,789 --> 01:09:30,457
And, you know, I thought it was
a wonderful moment of trust on his part...

1077
01:09:30,541 --> 01:09:34,795
...that he wrote you that check.
That's a lot of money for him.

1078
01:09:34,879 --> 01:09:38,548
From what I gathered from Connie,
it's probably half a year's salary.

1079
01:09:38,633 --> 01:09:41,968
I wouldn't be surprised if that
was Ben and Buck's college money.

1080
01:09:42,053 --> 01:09:44,137
You know, you have
a knack with money...

1081
01:09:44,222 --> 01:09:46,139
...and I think it's great
that you're sharing it with him...

1082
01:09:46,224 --> 01:09:49,309
...and I think it's great
that he accepted your offer.

1083
01:09:49,394 --> 01:09:53,313
That he trusts you
with his financial well-being.

1084
01:09:53,398 --> 01:09:57,067
Oh, I hope this investment
really works out for them.

1085
01:09:58,277 --> 01:10:01,655
- I gotta go back.
- What, did you forget something?

1086
01:10:02,615 --> 01:10:04,783
Honey, you're scaring me.
Are you all right?

1087
01:10:04,867 --> 01:10:06,743
I'll be all right
once I settle this.

1088
01:10:22,468 --> 01:10:24,553
Roman, what are you doing?

1089
01:10:25,096 --> 01:10:27,431
- Katie, sit down.
- What?

1090
01:10:27,515 --> 01:10:30,851
Katie, you'll need to sit down
to hear what I have to say.

1091
01:10:32,854 --> 01:10:35,939
- Oh, gee, it's wet!
- Hurry up!

1092
01:10:36,691 --> 01:10:38,233
Let's go.

1093
01:10:39,026 --> 01:10:43,905
Chet, I'm gonna level with you.
I'm a phony. I'm a fraud. I'm a fake.

1094
01:10:43,990 --> 01:10:48,952
From my $15 imitation Bally slip-ons
to our replicated Rolexes.

1095
01:10:49,746 --> 01:10:53,039
We're broke, we're bankrupt,
we're busted.

1096
01:10:53,124 --> 01:10:55,083
We're busted?

1097
01:10:56,627 --> 01:10:59,713
We were living well, right?
Well beyond our means.

1098
01:11:01,382 --> 01:11:05,469
I'm full of shit, Chet.
I haven't been trading in over two years.

1099
01:11:06,220 --> 01:11:08,680
This deal came up. It looked good.
I got overextended...

1100
01:11:08,765 --> 01:11:13,185
...couldn't meet my calls.
I lost my seat on the exchange.

1101
01:11:13,269 --> 01:11:16,021
I go to work every morning.

1102
01:11:16,105 --> 01:11:19,441
But now I wear a blue runner's jacket
and fetch coffee.

1103
01:11:19,525 --> 01:11:21,443
I lost everything.

1104
01:11:21,527 --> 01:11:24,905
Why didn't you tell me?
Did you think that I wouldn't understand?

1105
01:11:24,989 --> 01:11:27,324
Baby, I knew you'd understand.

1106
01:11:27,408 --> 01:11:30,118
I also knew you wouldn't let me come up
here and put the bite on Connie and Chet.

1107
01:11:30,203 --> 01:11:31,912
It was my only last hope.

1108
01:11:31,996 --> 01:11:36,333
Now, look, Roman. Now, you
know I never turn my back on family.

1109
01:11:36,417 --> 01:11:38,960
I know.
That's why I came up here.

1110
01:11:39,796 --> 01:11:43,340
And by the way, that story about you
and your brother in the can at the wedding?

1111
01:11:43,424 --> 01:11:45,425
I made it up.

1112
01:11:47,512 --> 01:11:49,721
You what?

1113
01:11:49,806 --> 01:11:51,515
You made it up?

1114
01:11:59,899 --> 01:12:02,484
All right, all right.
I got it, I got it.

1115
01:12:06,113 --> 01:12:08,031
Oh, jeez.

1116
01:12:14,831 --> 01:12:16,790
Oh, what happened?

1117
01:12:16,874 --> 01:12:19,543
- Power's out!
- Where's the flashlight?

1118
01:12:19,627 --> 01:12:22,295
- Chet?
- What happened to the lights, Dad?

1119
01:12:22,380 --> 01:12:24,506
You kids been fooling around
with the flashlight?

1120
01:12:24,590 --> 01:12:29,344
Look at this. $110 for a lighter.
It doesn't even work.

1121
01:12:29,428 --> 01:12:31,429
79 cents.

1122
01:12:32,390 --> 01:12:33,932
Whoa! Hot!

1123
01:12:34,016 --> 01:12:36,977
Boy, I haven't seen weather
like this for years.

1124
01:12:39,772 --> 01:12:42,440
Roman, where are the girls?

1125
01:12:44,485 --> 01:12:46,653
- Have you seen them?
- Have you seen them?

1126
01:12:46,737 --> 01:12:48,321
No.

1127
01:12:48,406 --> 01:12:51,366
All right, spread out.
Let's look for them. Let's all just...

1128
01:12:51,450 --> 01:12:54,119
They're hiding under a bed
or something.

1129
01:12:56,831 --> 01:13:01,001
- Come on, it's this way!
- No, it's this way. I remember.

1130
01:13:02,295 --> 01:13:04,504
Look for a big hole.

1131
01:13:08,593 --> 01:13:10,844
We'll find them, Katie.
We'll find them.

1132
01:13:10,928 --> 01:13:13,680
They're gonna be all right.
They'll be okay. Don't worry about a thing.

1133
01:13:13,764 --> 01:13:16,766
I want you boys to stay here and look after
your mother and your aunt. All right?

1134
01:13:16,851 --> 01:13:18,768
- We'll help you.
- Don't give me any lip, okay?

1135
01:13:18,853 --> 01:13:22,898
- There's too much lightning out there.
- Here's the fence. Here's the fence.

1136
01:13:24,859 --> 01:13:27,027
Hey, wait for me!

1137
01:13:27,111 --> 01:13:29,863
Cara! Mara!

1138
01:13:33,326 --> 01:13:34,618
- Try this way.
- Okay.

1139
01:13:36,162 --> 01:13:37,871
Oh, there we go.

1140
01:13:37,955 --> 01:13:39,706
There we go.

1141
01:13:39,790 --> 01:13:41,249
There we go.

1142
01:13:43,377 --> 01:13:44,836
Great.

1143
01:13:46,213 --> 01:13:48,632
I can't see anything!

1144
01:13:49,884 --> 01:13:51,426
Oh, neat!

1145
01:13:51,510 --> 01:13:56,431
- No, I found it. I wanna go first.
- No, I wanna! I wanna!

1146
01:13:56,515 --> 01:13:58,058
Hello?

1147
01:13:58,851 --> 01:14:00,352
Hello?

1148
01:14:10,863 --> 01:14:12,364
Cara!

1149
01:14:12,448 --> 01:14:13,865
Mara!

1150
01:14:13,950 --> 01:14:14,908
Girls!

1151
01:14:25,836 --> 01:14:27,587
Cara!

1152
01:14:27,672 --> 01:14:29,547
- Mara!
- Girls!

1153
01:14:30,091 --> 01:14:31,883
- Cara!
- Mara!

1154
01:14:37,014 --> 01:14:38,348
Cara!

1155
01:14:38,432 --> 01:14:39,641
Mara!

1156
01:14:39,725 --> 01:14:42,394
Help! Help!

1157
01:14:42,478 --> 01:14:44,229
Put your light up there!

1158
01:14:44,814 --> 01:14:46,314
There!

1159
01:14:46,732 --> 01:14:47,816
Girls!

1160
01:14:47,900 --> 01:14:49,859
Girls, is that you?

1161
01:14:49,944 --> 01:14:50,944
Girls!

1162
01:14:51,028 --> 01:14:53,780
It's your Uncle Chet.
Are you all right?

1163
01:14:53,864 --> 01:14:57,450
- Help!
- We'll be right down! Go on.

1164
01:14:57,535 --> 01:14:59,577
- Not me.
- What?

1165
01:14:59,662 --> 01:15:02,455
I'm claustrophobic.
I get in a closed-up space and I lock up.

1166
01:15:02,540 --> 01:15:04,290
- What if I lose it?
- You won't lose it!

1167
01:15:04,375 --> 01:15:06,251
- What if I blow it?
- What are we gonna do?

1168
01:15:06,335 --> 01:15:10,296
- We gotta get some help.
- We don't have time! You can do it!

1169
01:15:10,381 --> 01:15:14,259
Roman, they're your children!
Be their father, for God sakes!

1170
01:15:14,343 --> 01:15:17,095
For the first time
in your life, be their father!

1171
01:15:17,179 --> 01:15:20,390
Now, come on!
Get in there and help your kids!

1172
01:15:23,269 --> 01:15:26,396
Girls, your dad will be right down.
Daddy's coming.

1173
01:15:26,480 --> 01:15:28,898
Let's go. Let's go.
You can do it. You can do it.

1174
01:15:28,983 --> 01:15:31,401
- All right.
- Okay, come on. There you go.

1175
01:15:31,485 --> 01:15:34,362
I'm gonna go get a light
and some rope. Okay?

1176
01:15:34,947 --> 01:15:36,322
- Are you all right?
- Yeah.

1177
01:15:36,407 --> 01:15:37,615
Take it easy.

1178
01:15:37,700 --> 01:15:42,579
Don't think about anything like tight places.
Like a submarine or a coffin or anything.

1179
01:15:42,663 --> 01:15:43,955
- Come back!
- I'll be back!

1180
01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:46,166
- You come back!
- All right!

1181
01:16:00,890 --> 01:16:02,849
Oh, my little sweeties!

1182
01:16:03,642 --> 01:16:05,685
Oh! I love you.
I love you.

1183
01:16:12,193 --> 01:16:15,278
Chet!
Chet, they're all right!

1184
01:16:16,405 --> 01:16:18,990
"Apollo unicel"...

1185
01:16:20,159 --> 01:16:21,868
It's dynamite.

1186
01:16:21,952 --> 01:16:23,995
It's wet, old dynamite.

1187
01:16:25,748 --> 01:16:28,249
It's fine. It's fine.

1188
01:16:28,334 --> 01:16:30,585
Chet! Chet!

1189
01:16:33,339 --> 01:16:34,923
Ripley!

1190
01:16:35,716 --> 01:16:38,593
Okay. All right.
We wanna get outta here.

1191
01:16:38,677 --> 01:16:42,055
It's cold, it's wet, and you
don't want to stay here anymore, do you?

1192
01:16:42,139 --> 01:16:46,017
Okay, you hang onto Daddy
as tight as you can, all right? Okay?

1193
01:16:47,144 --> 01:16:49,354
Damn! Come on.

1194
01:16:52,233 --> 01:16:54,234
Big one. Big spider.
Big spider.

1195
01:16:54,318 --> 01:16:58,321
Okay, climb on, Cara.
Mara, get on your sister's back.

1196
01:16:58,405 --> 01:17:03,243
Okay, grab hold of my jacket.
Okay, hang on, okay? Hang on tight.

1197
01:17:05,496 --> 01:17:06,955
Okay, my babies?

1198
01:17:20,302 --> 01:17:21,928
Which way?

1199
01:17:24,473 --> 01:17:27,517
Hang on. We're almost there.
Almost there.

1200
01:17:34,608 --> 01:17:37,318
Oh, jeez, damn!

1201
01:17:37,403 --> 01:17:38,862
Come on.

1202
01:17:41,949 --> 01:17:44,576
Go, Cara, go!

1203
01:17:57,006 --> 01:18:00,383
Let's just go back to the cabin.

1204
01:18:02,344 --> 01:18:05,221
Your mother's probably
worried sick about you.

1205
01:18:07,558 --> 01:18:09,100
Here we go! Okay.

1206
01:18:10,603 --> 01:18:12,854
Hang on. Hang on.

1207
01:18:14,732 --> 01:18:17,859
Roman! Girls! I'm back!

1208
01:18:17,943 --> 01:18:20,195
I got everything!
I'm here!

1209
01:18:20,279 --> 01:18:24,282
I'll have you out in a second!
Just a minute! Hold on!

1210
01:18:24,366 --> 01:18:28,578
I'm sorry it took so long!
I'll explain it all later!

1211
01:18:28,662 --> 01:18:31,581
Just a sec. Get off me!
I've got a rope!

1212
01:18:31,665 --> 01:18:36,169
You'll be fine! I'm gonna tie a loop
at the end of this thing, all right?

1213
01:18:36,253 --> 01:18:38,254
Then I'm gonna throw it down.

1214
01:18:38,339 --> 01:18:42,800
Then one at a time
I'll pull you up, okay?

1215
01:18:42,885 --> 01:18:46,262
Here comes the rope!
Watch your heads!

1216
01:18:46,347 --> 01:18:48,473
Here it comes!

1217
01:18:52,811 --> 01:18:55,438
All right! Have you got it?

1218
01:18:57,983 --> 01:19:00,860
Okay. Okay, you got it?
Good. Good. Okay.

1219
01:19:00,945 --> 01:19:05,240
All right, you let me know when you're
ready to come up, when you put it on, okay?

1220
01:19:05,324 --> 01:19:07,784
Then I'll pull you up.

1221
01:19:08,786 --> 01:19:10,787
All right. Fine.
You're ready. Okay.

1222
01:19:10,871 --> 01:19:12,747
All right, just a second!

1223
01:19:12,831 --> 01:19:17,585
Okay, girls, Uncle Chet's here.
Okay.

1224
01:19:17,670 --> 01:19:20,380
Roman, you could help on this,
you know.

1225
01:19:20,464 --> 01:19:24,842
All right!
One, two, three, go!

1226
01:19:26,762 --> 01:19:28,930
Hey!
What the hell are you doing?

1227
01:19:30,057 --> 01:19:33,810
When I say "ready," huh?
When I say "ready"!

1228
01:19:33,894 --> 01:19:37,814
All right. On "ready. "
Here we go.

1229
01:19:40,025 --> 01:19:42,652
Come on!
Help out a bit, will you?

1230
01:19:44,446 --> 01:19:47,365
Here it comes!
We'll be going home soon!

1231
01:19:49,994 --> 01:19:53,079
Roman and I are gonna have
a talk a little later on, girls.

1232
01:19:53,163 --> 01:19:56,332
We're gonna talk about
helping people.

1233
01:19:56,417 --> 01:20:00,169
Okay, here we go now.
Everybody help Uncle Chet!

1234
01:20:00,254 --> 01:20:02,130
Come on! Yeah!

1235
01:20:04,883 --> 01:20:08,052
We did it!
I did it!

1236
01:20:17,438 --> 01:20:19,480
A bald-headed bear!

1237
01:20:50,387 --> 01:20:52,722
Big bear!
Oh, my God!

1238
01:20:55,684 --> 01:20:58,227
I'm gonna die!
I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!

1239
01:20:58,312 --> 01:20:59,896
No, no, go away!

1240
01:20:59,980 --> 01:21:02,065
Leave me alone!

1241
01:21:02,149 --> 01:21:03,733
I gotta move faster!

1242
01:21:05,736 --> 01:21:08,780
Help! Help!

1243
01:21:08,864 --> 01:21:09,947
Help!

1244
01:21:20,459 --> 01:21:22,543
Hey, he's back, everybody!

1245
01:21:23,962 --> 01:21:25,421
Chet!

1246
01:21:25,506 --> 01:21:28,299
- Hi!
- Where the hell were you?

1247
01:21:28,384 --> 01:21:30,676
- Come on in. I'm making you a sandwich.
- Hi, Dad.

1248
01:21:30,761 --> 01:21:33,221
Big! Big! Whoo, big!

1249
01:21:33,305 --> 01:21:35,139
Big?
All right, I'll make a big one.

1250
01:21:35,224 --> 01:21:38,059
- Big bear!
- Big bear...

1251
01:21:38,143 --> 01:21:41,354
No! True! True!
Out there!

1252
01:21:41,438 --> 01:21:43,898
We're glad you're home, honey.

1253
01:21:43,982 --> 01:21:47,110
- Big bear chase... Big bear chase...
- What is he saying?

1254
01:21:47,194 --> 01:21:49,904
- What?
- Big bear chase me!

1255
01:21:57,496 --> 01:21:59,122
Upstairs!
There's a bear!

1256
01:21:59,206 --> 01:22:01,499
Oh, my God!
Oh, God!

1257
01:22:05,963 --> 01:22:08,297
Oh, get off me.
Get off, you son of a bitch!

1258
01:22:10,008 --> 01:22:12,051
Roman! Roman!

1259
01:22:16,348 --> 01:22:18,224
Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!

1260
01:22:21,311 --> 01:22:23,896
My God! Protect us!

1261
01:22:23,981 --> 01:22:25,773
Hold on.

1262
01:22:27,234 --> 01:22:28,192
Mom...

1263
01:22:35,951 --> 01:22:39,036
- Oh, no!
- Connie, stay down! Stay down!

1264
01:22:50,924 --> 01:22:53,468
Hit him with the poker!
Hit him!

1265
01:22:59,850 --> 01:23:01,726
Look out, Roman!

1266
01:23:09,234 --> 01:23:11,861
Big bear.
Big bear chase me.

1267
01:23:19,786 --> 01:23:21,537
Chase me!

1268
01:23:33,759 --> 01:23:35,134
Oh, thank God you're here!

1269
01:23:35,219 --> 01:23:37,553
- Yeah, I'm here.
- Shoot him! Shoot him!

1270
01:23:37,638 --> 01:23:40,431
- That's a goddamn lamp!
- But it's loaded.

1271
01:23:40,516 --> 01:23:43,059
I can't hold on much longer!

1272
01:23:49,525 --> 01:23:50,608
Shoot him!

1273
01:23:52,694 --> 01:23:54,445
Oh, right in the...

1274
01:24:12,798 --> 01:24:14,799
- Okay, let's roll!
- All right.

1275
01:24:14,883 --> 01:24:17,677
I can't believe that
I'm actually gonna miss this place.

1276
01:24:17,761 --> 01:24:20,054
- Uncle Chet?
- Yes, sweetheart?

1277
01:24:20,138 --> 01:24:23,641
- I had a really good time.
- Oh, well, I'm glad.

1278
01:24:23,725 --> 01:24:25,142
Thanks, Uncle Chet.

1279
01:24:25,227 --> 01:24:27,853
My pleasure, sweetheart.
I hope you had a great time.

1280
01:24:27,938 --> 01:24:31,399
'Cause we had a nice time having you,
and we're gonna miss you.

1281
01:24:31,483 --> 01:24:34,860
Will I see you soon?
And don't drive too fast. All right.

1282
01:24:34,945 --> 01:24:39,448
- Take your seats, in the trunk.
- Roman, knock it off.

1283
01:24:41,785 --> 01:24:44,328
Cammie, if you're out there...

1284
01:24:44,913 --> 01:24:49,041
...I just want you to know
I don't blame you for hating me.

1285
01:24:49,126 --> 01:24:51,961
Do city boys
always talk to themselves?

1286
01:24:58,802 --> 01:25:01,137
Look, I'm really sorry.

1287
01:25:01,221 --> 01:25:05,224
I want you to go back to Chicago
a crazed, lovesick maniac...

1288
01:25:05,309 --> 01:25:09,478
...who won't be able to look at
another girl without comparing her to me.

1289
01:25:09,563 --> 01:25:10,771
Sounds good to me.

1290
01:25:16,778 --> 01:25:20,823
- You're a good man. You're the best.
- You're not so bad yourself.

1291
01:25:22,534 --> 01:25:24,744
You drive safely.

1292
01:25:24,828 --> 01:25:26,454
Thanks.

1293
01:25:26,538 --> 01:25:28,956
- Race you home.
- You got it.

1294
01:25:31,001 --> 01:25:32,835
"Race you home. "

1295
01:25:34,504 --> 01:25:36,339
Take care!

1296
01:25:37,633 --> 01:25:39,050
Bye, bye!

1297
01:25:43,305 --> 01:25:45,598
"Race you home. "

1298
01:25:47,851 --> 01:25:51,103
Why would he say "race me home"? I mean,
he lives way the hell out in Oak Park.

1299
01:25:51,188 --> 01:25:53,356
It's just till he gets on his feet,
honey.

1300
01:25:53,440 --> 01:25:57,443
I think you should be proud of him
not wanting to take your loan.

1301
01:25:57,527 --> 01:25:59,070
What are you saying?

1302
01:25:59,154 --> 01:26:01,030
- What are you saying?
- We have plenty of room.

1303
01:26:01,114 --> 01:26:02,406
- Connie...
- If he beats us...

1304
01:26:02,491 --> 01:26:04,075
- He is not staying at our house.
- If he beats us...

1305
01:26:04,159 --> 01:26:07,078
...he'll get the good spot
in the garage!

1306
01:26:07,162 --> 01:26:09,789
- To the memories.
- To the memories.

1307
01:26:11,708 --> 01:26:14,001
- Chester!
- Buckley!

1308
01:26:14,086 --> 01:26:15,670
Get the hell in the car!
We gotta beat Uncle Roman home!

1309
01:26:15,754 --> 01:26:18,631
Move it! Move it!
Move it, everybody! Let's go!

1310
01:30:01,062 --> 01:30:03,397
Why is Jody sitting in the lake?

1311
01:30:04,482 --> 01:30:06,775
You dind't hear?

1312
01:30:07,736 --> 01:30:10,070
She got shot in the ass!

1313
01:30:10,155 --> 01:30:11,947
Oh, no!

1314
01:30:12,032 --> 01:30:14,241
Don't tell me...

1315
01:30:14,951 --> 01:30:18,787
Yup...
She's bald on both ends now!