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##[Oriental music playing]
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[Audience applauding]
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[Audience chuckling]
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[All applauding]
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You know me, Toe-Joe Jackson,
what's your name, love lips?
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What's it matter?
Let's just say
I'm a girl, okay, Toe-Joe?
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I'm just a girl
headed for trouble.
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Oh, yeah?
Hey, did you ever think
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about doing
any figure modelin'?
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Don't get smart, buster.
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I'm serious.
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A chick stacked like you
could make some
real easy scratch
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posin' for pictures.
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No, thanks, pervert,
why don't you just
let me out right here?
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[Guffawing]
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I said stop!
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There's no door handles.
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Ooh, my little runaway
is real sexy
when she gets mad.
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Help! Someone please help me!
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##[radio playing]
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Hey, how about my place,
sex pot?
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Toe-Joe's in the mood
for a party!
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[Helicopter approaching]
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I've never been
in a plane before.
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[Shuddering]
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I think
I'm going to be sick.
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No!
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[Grunting]
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(all)
Good afternoon, Judge.
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Good afternoon.
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[Groaning]
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[Moaning]
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(Toe-Joe)
Oh, boy. Be still my loins.
I can't take this.
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How much am I worth here?
I'm only human.
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[Chuckling]
Give me more of that.
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I got to get
a little close-up of the...
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Oh, point them
to the sky.
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There it is, right there.
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Oh, be still my heart.
Here we go, right there.
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Lenora Frigid,
you little whore.
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You ain't pregnant
and you ain't no
Cry-Baby girl either.
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Shut up, runaway.
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Now, I am warning you,
it's titty time,
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and you are getting
on my heterosexual nerves.
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Now, bubble up.
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[Chuckling]
Thank you.
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Okay, Santa baby,
light up the sky.
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[Clicking]
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Hey, good one.
Watch out for Rudolph,
he's a mean one there.
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(Toe-Joe)
Okay, let's have some vim.
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How about a little vigor?
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That'll help fill
the cash register.
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Ka-ching, ka-ching.
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Oh, honey baby pie,
what are you hidin'
under that stole, sweetness?
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Oh, hello, right there,
I love it!
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What a bombshell!
Va-va-voom!
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Okay, joy boy,
flex them pecs.
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Make 'em dance.
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Whoo, look at that,
Charleston City.
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Oh, big mama!
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You have got the sex appeal,
there's no two ways about it.
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Mmm, my cup runneth over.
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Stinky, Goosepimples.
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Grab the models
and strip 'em down.
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Something a little new today,
boys and giggles.
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We're goin' all the way.
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What?
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I'll just close my eyes
and think of Cry-Baby.
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You first, rough stuff.
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What? You mean
the dirty deed?
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Indeed.
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Hey, look, I'm all talk
and no action.
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Mmm-hmm.
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I've never really done it,
I swear I'm a virgin.
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Just ask my parents.
My parents will tell you.
They will.
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We quit, Toe-Joe.
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You said this was
gonna be art.
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Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Whores and hustlers,
stay in your positions.
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Lenora, you better join
Uncle Toe-Joe.
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No, come on, girls,
we've had enough.
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Come on, I'm warning you,
I'm gonna show these pictures
to your parents.
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No, you won't,
smut king.
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[Audience applauding]
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Hello, teenagers everywhere.
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We've had some trouble here
in Baltimore,
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but tonight
we're going to settle it
once and for all.
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Not with fists,
not with foul language,
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but with talent.
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[Audience cheering]
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Tell me,
gentlemen of the press,
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for once,
do you promise to be fair?
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(man)
Yes, Mrs. Vernon-Williams.
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Thank you.
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Do you wish to call it, boys?
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Heads!
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[Audience laughing]
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Heads, it is.
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[Audience clamoring]
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Take it away, Squares.
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Let the battle
of the bands begin.
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(both)
Chicken!
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##[Music playing]
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# They drove
the hottest hotrods #
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# that were ever raced
in years #
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# You could hear them
burning rubber #
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# as they shifted
through the gears #
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# They must've lost
their senses in the trail
of smoking flame #
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# 'Cause you had to be a meany
if you played the crazy game #
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# Chicken #
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# Chicken #
111
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# The winner of the game
would holler, "Chicken" #
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# The laughter of the couples
could be heard
above the roar #
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# As they headed
toward each other with
their pedals to the floor #
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# The one that held the gear
he was not afraid to die #
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# And the one that
turned aside would hear
the winning couples cry #
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# "Chicken" #
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No way!
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# They knew
they'd all be losers
if they ever had a tie #
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# But the closer
they could make it seemed
the louder they would cry #
120
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# The kicks
were always greatest #
121
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# when they had
their closest shave #
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# And the voices from
the back were like an echo
from the grave #
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# Chicken #
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# Chicken #
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[clucking]
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# The winner of the game
would holler, "Chicken" #
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# And then what mattered
happened 'cause the devil
had his way #
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# He was close enough
to see them #
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# It might have been a rumor
but there was no way to tell #
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# For the couples
all were dead and there was
no one left to tell #
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# Chicken #
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# Chicken #
133
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Go on.
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# The winner of the game
would holler, "Chicken" #
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[audience applauding]