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Tonight's program takes us backstage
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to witness firsthand the creation,
start to finish,
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of a new play mounted
on the American stage.
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Asteroid City does not exist.
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It is an imaginary drama
created expressly for this broadcast.
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The characters are fictional,
the text hypothetical,
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the events an apocryphal fabrication,
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but together they present
an authentic account
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of the inner workings
of a modern theatrical production.
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Our story begins, of course,
with an ink ribbon.
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Conrad Earp, playwright,
native of upper Wyoming,
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well-known for
his romantic poetic tapestries
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of life west of the Rocky Mountains.
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There is little amusement
to be had, however,
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in watching a man type.
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Skip ahead, then,
past the lonely, agonized months
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of composing, revising,
polishing, editing, rewriting,
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cutting, pasting,
pacing, doodling, and solitary drinking,
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and join our company
as they take the stage
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for their first read-through rehearsal.
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Location, the Tarkington Theater,
345 South Northwest Avenue.
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Curtain rises on a desert bus stop
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halfway between
Parched Gulch and Arid Plains.
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Main scenography includes
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a 12-stool luncheonette,
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a one-pump filling station,
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and a ten-cabin motor court hotel.
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Upstage left,
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the Tomahawk Mountains.
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Highest peak, 11,000 feet.
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Upstage right,
an unfinished highway overpass
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which vaults up 20 feet,
then chops off midair
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behind a permanent roadblock.
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Center front, an impact crater
one hundred feet in depth and diameter
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encircled by a low Little League
variety chain-link fence.
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Offstage, distant, a 650-car freight train
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which click-clacks by
at five miles an hour.
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Note to chief electrician,
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the light of the desert sun
is neither warm nor cool
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but always clean
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and, above all, unforgiving.
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Cast, Augie Steenbeck,
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war photographer, early 40s.
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His son Woodrow, 14,
also known as Brainiac.
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Midge Campbell, late 30s, film actress.
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Her daughter Dinah, 15.
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June Douglas, schoolteacher.
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Ranch hand Montana, above.
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Grif Gibson, five-star general.
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Sandy Borden, Roger Cho, J.J. Kellogg.
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Clifford, Ricky, Shelly.
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Stanley Zak, 65, retired.
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The action of the play
takes place in September of 1955.
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Act one, Friday morning, 7:00 a.m.
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Act two, the next day.
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Act three, one week later.
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Last train to San Fernando
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Last train to San Fernando
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If you miss this one
You'll never get another one
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Bee-dee-dee-dee-bom-bom to San Fernando
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Last night I met my sweet Dorothy
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She said
"Tomorrow I join in sweet matrimony"
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But if you act all right
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Oh, you can take me out tonight
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We can wine and dine and get back in time
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For the last train to San Fernando
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Last train to San Fernando
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Last train to San Fernando
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If you miss this one
You'll never get another one
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Bee-dee-dee-dee-bom-bom to San Fernando
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It's a dead snake.
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Flat snake.
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Poke him in the head with this stick.
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I wander the streets
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And the gay crowded places...
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Five orders of flapjacks
and a black coffee.
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But somehow it seems
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That my thoughts ever stray
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To our last...
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Who needs to pee?
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- Nobody needs to pee.
- I don't.
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Our average speed is 83 feet per second.
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Poor fuel efficiency
due to excess wind resistance.
84
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:03,483
Probably the luggage rack.
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Based on data before
the loss of power, obviously.
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High in the sky...
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What do you
little princesses want to drink?
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- Oh, we're not princesses.
- I'm a vampire.
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I'm a mummy in Egypt
who got buried alive...
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- I suck people's blood.
- ... and came back to life
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- with its head chopped off.
- I'm a fairy.
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How about a glass of strawberry milk?
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What was that?
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Another atom bomb test.
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I've seen this combination
of symptoms twice before
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in the '52 Estate model.
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In one case,
it was a quick fix of a 75-cent part.
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In the other case,
it was a difficult, costly,
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time-consuming disassembly and re-mantling
of the entire drivetrain
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and lubrication mechanism,
which didn't work.
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The motor exploded itself,
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and the body was stripped
and sold for scrap.
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There it is.
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Well, which one have we got?
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We're about to find out.
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You got the first one.
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- How much do I owe you?
- Nothing.
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Ten dollars for the tow.
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00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:01,560
What's that? Wh-What's that?
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I don't know.
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I think you've got a third problem
we've never seen before.
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Zak residence.
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Romulus, this is Augie Steenbeck.
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Good morning, Mr. Augie. The gate is open.
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- No, we're not there.
- You're not here?
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- May I speak to Mr. Zak?
- Yes, Mr. Augie.
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- You're not here?
- We're not there.
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The car exploded. Come get the girls.
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The car exploded?
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Parts of the car exploded itself, yes.
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- Come get the girls.
- I'm not their chauffeur.
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I'm their grandfather.
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- Where are you?
- Asteroid City.
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Farm Route Six, mile 75.
Come get the girls.
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I have to stay here with Woodrow.
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What are you talking about?
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The thing for Woodrow. We're there.
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Hmm.
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- Hello?
- How'd they take it?
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They didn't.
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- No?
- No.
132
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:29,439
- No.
- Yes.
133
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,525
- You didn't tell them still?
- I still didn't tell them.
134
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- You promised.
- I know.
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The time is never right.
136
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The time
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is always wrong.
138
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Are you okay?
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No.
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You never liked me, did you?
141
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I never loved you.
142
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You always thought
I wasn't good enough for her.
143
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Yes. We're saying the same thing.
144
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- Gas up the Cadillac.
- Okay.
145
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- Tell the kids.
- I will.
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I'll be there when I get there.
147
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It's the end of that car.
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Andromeda, check under the floor mats.
Come on.
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Pandora, check the side pockets.
150
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Cassiopeia, check the cracks
between the seats.
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Take everything.
What do you think, Woodrow?
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I think it's kind of sad.
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Rest stop, 13 minutes.
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- Head count.
- One.
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Two. Three. Four.
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Five. Six. Seven. Eight.
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- Nine. Ten.
- All present.
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Let's give thanks
for a safe journey. Billy?
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Dear Heavenly Father, we thank thee kindly
for a terrific bus ride.
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I ate three boxes of Cracker Jacks,
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got a dog whistle and a miniature map
of the original 13 colonies.
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Also, we saw a coyote
get run over by a 14-wheeler
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and left him flat as a pancake.
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Boy, oh, boy. What else?
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The bus driver had to stop twice
because Bernice couldn't hold it.
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- Could so.
- Amen.
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00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,307
Amen.
168
00:14:08,432 --> 00:14:10,058
Lunchtime. Line up single file.
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My word. It's hot.
170
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It's the desert. What'd you expect?
171
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,984
I don't know if I expected
one thing or another,
172
00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:20,861
but I'm wilting like a cut petunia.
173
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:22,529
- Humans don't wilt.
- Don't they?
174
00:14:22,654 --> 00:14:25,782
No, wilting is a phenomenon
by which a petal, leaf, or stem...
175
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:27,242
Do you dare me?
176
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,995
- Dare you what?
- To eat this hot pepper.
177
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- It's an experiment.
- No, don't do it.
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Hot pepper.
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00:14:37,211 --> 00:14:39,171
Holy Toledo. That's Midge Campbell.
180
00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:40,839
- Where? Who?
- Right smack in back of you.
181
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Don't look.
182
00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:44,593
That must be her bodyguard.
183
00:14:45,177 --> 00:14:46,929
Mr. Cho, yes? Hello.
184
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You're in cabin seven. Well, tent seven.
185
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Here's the key, but there's no door.
186
00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:53,101
Just a flap. Tent flap.
187
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- Tent?
- I know.
188
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:56,813
I upgraded the electrical system
Tuesday morning.
189
00:14:56,939 --> 00:15:00,067
Better lighting, power for the ice machine
and a wall-mounted bug zapper.
190
00:15:00,192 --> 00:15:03,612
Unfortunately, a mistake got made,
and cabin seven burned to the ground.
191
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:06,198
- It's a tent now.
- We don't want to sleep in a tent.
192
00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:07,533
Of course. I understand.
193
00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:09,660
May I say, I think
you'll find it very comfortable.
194
00:15:09,785 --> 00:15:13,080
- Is the young gentleman in distress?
- He's thirsty.
195
00:15:13,205 --> 00:15:14,748
Of course. I understand.
196
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:17,125
Uh, juice preference, please?
Apple, orange, or tomato?
197
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:20,629
Excuse me, sir?
198
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:23,006
This bucket of nuts just stole my quarter.
199
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,424
I beg your pardon.
200
00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:29,388
She lived so long till her head got bald
201
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,390
Taken a notion not to die at all
202
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:33,141
Ida Red, Ida Red
203
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:35,519
I'm a plumb fool about Ida Red...
204
00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:42,276
You're probably wondering
why we didn't pack your mother's suitcase.
205
00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,738
It's because she's not
coming with us on this journey.
206
00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:49,032
She can't come.
207
00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:51,577
She got too sick.
208
00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:54,872
And, to put it bluntly,
after all the surgeries,
209
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:56,957
therapies and interventions...
210
00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:59,835
after two years
of struggling and suffering,
211
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,837
she succumbed to her illnesses.
212
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:04,298
I'm sorry.
213
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:06,133
I didn't know how to tell you then.
214
00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:08,135
I couldn't figure out
how to tell you later.
215
00:16:08,427 --> 00:16:09,720
I didn't know what to do.
216
00:16:10,179 --> 00:16:11,847
The time was never right.
217
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,310
You're saying
our mother died three weeks ago?
218
00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:20,480
Yes.
219
00:16:20,606 --> 00:16:22,524
When is she coming back?
220
00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:25,110
She's not coming back.
221
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:28,030
Let's say she's in heaven.
222
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:31,491
Which doesn't exist for me, of course,
but you're Episcopalian.
223
00:16:33,202 --> 00:16:34,828
Come here. Let me hug you.
224
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:43,086
Okay. Sit back down.
225
00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:52,930
Did you know already, Woodrow?
226
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:56,808
I think so.
227
00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:00,020
She'd been away so long.
228
00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:01,271
Mmm-hmm.
229
00:17:02,773 --> 00:17:04,107
Yeah.
230
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:06,234
We're gonna be okay.
231
00:17:06,652 --> 00:17:08,069
Your grandfather's on his way.
232
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,113
We're gonna stay with him
for a period of time
233
00:17:10,239 --> 00:17:12,574
which is yet to be determined
how long it's gonna be.
234
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,786
Is she in there?
235
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,290
Yeah.
236
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:23,377
She's in the Tupperware.
237
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,297
Cremated.
238
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:34,096
Are we orphans now?
239
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:37,641
Huh?
240
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:40,060
Are we orphans now?
241
00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:42,521
No.
242
00:17:42,646 --> 00:17:44,189
Because I'm still alive.
243
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,988
When my father died,
my mother told me, "He's in the stars."
244
00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:54,783
I told her,
"The closest star, other than that one,
245
00:17:54,867 --> 00:17:56,451
"is four and half light-years away
246
00:17:56,535 --> 00:17:59,037
"with a surface temperature
over 5,000 degrees centigrade."
247
00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:01,707
"He's not in the stars," I said.
248
00:18:01,832 --> 00:18:03,250
"He's in the ground."
249
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,377
She thought it would comfort me.
250
00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:07,045
She was an atheist.
251
00:18:07,671 --> 00:18:09,923
The other thing she'd say
which is incorrect...
252
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:11,884
"Time heals all wounds."
253
00:18:12,009 --> 00:18:13,051
No.
254
00:18:13,594 --> 00:18:15,179
Maybe it can be a Band-Aid.
255
00:18:16,013 --> 00:18:18,599
Your concept of time is
completely distorted, though.
256
00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:22,311
I don't think any of you except Woodrow
even understands what 15 minutes means.
257
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:26,190
Fifteen minutes is 6,200 hours.
258
00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:30,569
Exactly.
259
00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:32,863
That's not your fault.
260
00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:42,289
If you could have anything
in the world to eat right now,
261
00:18:42,414 --> 00:18:43,790
what would it be?
262
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:49,588
The character of Augie Steenbeck
263
00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:51,798
in the imaginary tale of our production
264
00:18:51,924 --> 00:18:54,593
was to become famously
and indelibly connected
265
00:18:54,718 --> 00:18:56,845
to the actor who created the role,
266
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:59,348
a former carpenter
discovered in a bit part
267
00:18:59,473 --> 00:19:01,683
by the play's director, Schubert Green.
268
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,852
I've finished my correspondence, Analisse.
269
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,604
Please bring me my cocktail and my pill.
270
00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:07,356
- Remember, the gentleman...
- Oh, no.
271
00:19:07,439 --> 00:19:08,440
referred by Mr. Green has arrived.
272
00:19:08,565 --> 00:19:10,108
No. Send him away.
273
00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:12,027
Put him up
at the Salty Skipper or the Lighthouse Inn
274
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:14,905
and tell him to come back in the morning
but not before 11:00.
275
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:18,617
The occasion of the first meeting
between playwright and player is now,
276
00:19:18,742 --> 00:19:20,285
in our fanciful telling,
277
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,871
a matter of theatrical lore and legend.
278
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,916
Setting, late autumn, late afternoon,
279
00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:28,961
a seaside village
outside the grand metropolis.
280
00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:31,588
Oh, no, again.
I-I beg your pardon. I'm sorry.
281
00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:34,258
Did Miss Watson not inform you?
I'm indisposed.
282
00:19:34,383 --> 00:19:36,343
I know, but the ice cream would've melted.
283
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:45,561
- What's this?
- I think it's the one you like.
284
00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:48,313
Gooseberry Wriggle from the Frosty Spoon
on East Rotterdam.
285
00:19:48,397 --> 00:19:50,566
I wrapped it in sawdust,
newspaper, and peanut shells.
286
00:19:50,691 --> 00:19:53,402
You shouldn't waste your spending money
on an old fool like me.
287
00:19:53,527 --> 00:19:56,405
Well, they gave me ten dollars bus fare,
so I bought us a half bucket, hitchhiked,
288
00:19:56,530 --> 00:19:57,990
and pocketed the change.
289
00:20:03,662 --> 00:20:05,330
Cool and delicious.
290
00:20:07,124 --> 00:20:08,667
How long have you been in the service?
291
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:11,044
The service? What service?
I don't know what you're talking about.
292
00:20:11,128 --> 00:20:13,046
Well, unless I've been
deliberately misinformed,
293
00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:14,923
I believe those stripes
indicate the status
294
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,675
of a ranking corporal, second class.
295
00:20:16,842 --> 00:20:19,887
Oh, no. I-I'm G.I. Number Three
in Bugle Boy Blows the Blues.
296
00:20:19,970 --> 00:20:21,180
Was, anyway. We closed tonight.
297
00:20:21,305 --> 00:20:23,557
I see.
Property of the wardrobe department.
298
00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:24,975
Not anymore.
299
00:20:27,311 --> 00:20:28,896
How was it, by the way?
300
00:20:30,147 --> 00:20:31,565
- The play? It stunk.
- Mmm.
301
00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:33,650
- Mind if I crack open a window?
- Uh, not at all.
302
00:20:33,901 --> 00:20:35,110
It's sweltering, isn't it?
303
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:37,362
Even the daisies
and buttercups are drooping...
304
00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:39,948
That window sticks a bit.
That window sticks a bit!
305
00:20:44,578 --> 00:20:46,830
You broke my window.
306
00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:54,379
Why does Augie burn his hand
on the Quicky-Griddle?
307
00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:58,800
Well, I don't even know myself,
to tell you the truth.
308
00:20:58,926 --> 00:21:00,302
I hadn't planned it that way.
309
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,262
He just sort of did it while I was typing.
310
00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:04,264
Is it too extraordinary for you?
311
00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:06,767
Uh, I guess, the way I read it,
he was looking for an excuse
312
00:21:06,892 --> 00:21:08,644
why his heart was beating so fast.
313
00:21:08,769 --> 00:21:10,187
Oh.
314
00:21:10,354 --> 00:21:12,689
Oh, what an interesting sentiment.
315
00:21:12,814 --> 00:21:14,566
I love that idea.
316
00:21:14,775 --> 00:21:17,528
Maybe he should say it.
It's a very good line.
317
00:21:20,697 --> 00:21:23,116
No, I suppose not. Not necessary.
318
00:21:47,599 --> 00:21:49,226
It's a fact, we're not alone.
319
00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:50,978
The alien stole the asteroid.
320
00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:52,521
Long thought to be a lunar splinter
321
00:21:52,646 --> 00:21:56,275
fragmented from the lesser moon
of the hypothetical planet Magnavox-27,
322
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,485
now considered a rogue pygmy cometette,
323
00:21:58,610 --> 00:22:00,445
according to the encyclopedia.
324
00:22:01,071 --> 00:22:02,573
Obviously, she would've said
something to him.
325
00:22:02,698 --> 00:22:04,575
I'm certain of it. Your mother, I mean.
326
00:22:04,825 --> 00:22:06,994
She would've gotten him
to tell us the secrets of the universe
327
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:09,204
or yelled at him or made him laugh.
328
00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:11,081
She would've had a hypothesis.
329
00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:13,876
You remind me of her more than ever.
330
00:22:14,001 --> 00:22:15,419
She wasn't shy.
331
00:22:15,919 --> 00:22:17,296
You'll grow out of that.
332
00:22:18,046 --> 00:22:21,008
I think your sisters might be aliens,
too, by the way.
333
00:22:25,012 --> 00:22:27,431
When I met your mother, she was only 19.
334
00:22:27,723 --> 00:22:29,683
She was smoking a cigarette,
reading a paperback,
335
00:22:29,808 --> 00:22:32,352
taking a bath in a swimsuit
on a rusty fire escape
336
00:22:32,477 --> 00:22:34,855
a flight and a half
below my camera position.
337
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:38,025
Sometimes, I sometimes still think
338
00:22:38,150 --> 00:22:40,402
I still hear her here
339
00:22:41,111 --> 00:22:42,613
breathing in the dark.
340
00:22:47,117 --> 00:22:48,493
Who knows, Woodrow?
341
00:22:49,578 --> 00:22:51,246
Maybe she is in the stars.
342
00:23:04,885 --> 00:23:06,011
You're perfect.
343
00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:35,415
- Okay?
- Okay.
344
00:24:07,531 --> 00:24:10,284
Hold on, partner!
345
00:24:13,787 --> 00:24:15,455
- Zut alors.
- Oh, no.
346
00:24:19,543 --> 00:24:20,961
When's the next one?
347
00:24:21,086 --> 00:24:23,213
Sunday morning, I think.
348
00:24:35,142 --> 00:24:36,435
Drink your juice.
349
00:24:45,402 --> 00:24:46,695
You took a picture of me.
350
00:24:47,404 --> 00:24:48,739
Uh-huh.
351
00:24:49,823 --> 00:24:50,866
Why?
352
00:24:51,950 --> 00:24:53,285
I'm a photographer.
353
00:24:54,411 --> 00:24:55,662
You didn't ask permission.
354
00:24:55,787 --> 00:24:58,457
- I never ask permission.
- Why not?
355
00:24:58,916 --> 00:25:01,919
Because I work in trenches,
battlefields, and combat zones.
356
00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:03,962
Really?
357
00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:05,255
Uh-huh.
358
00:25:06,423 --> 00:25:07,883
You mean you're a war photographer?
359
00:25:08,008 --> 00:25:09,009
Mostly.
360
00:25:09,426 --> 00:25:11,512
Sometimes I cover sporting events.
361
00:25:11,637 --> 00:25:13,639
My name is Augie Steenbeck.
362
00:25:13,764 --> 00:25:15,098
Mmm-hmm.
363
00:25:18,519 --> 00:25:20,020
What are you gonna do with it?
364
00:25:20,395 --> 00:25:21,605
That picture.
365
00:25:21,688 --> 00:25:24,942
Hmm. Well, if it's any good,
I guess I'll try to sell it
366
00:25:25,067 --> 00:25:27,277
to a magazine, now that you mention it.
367
00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:29,947
"Midge Campbell eating a waffle."
368
00:25:33,033 --> 00:25:35,494
Make me a print first, to approve.
369
00:25:36,703 --> 00:25:37,746
Uh-huh.
370
00:25:39,873 --> 00:25:40,874
This is Dinah.
371
00:25:41,667 --> 00:25:43,627
- This is Woodrow.
- I have a question.
372
00:25:43,961 --> 00:25:45,087
Uh-huh.
373
00:25:45,212 --> 00:25:48,173
- Have you ever been shot with bullets?
- Have I ever been...
374
00:25:49,132 --> 00:25:51,593
Uh, once or twice, just grazed.
375
00:25:51,677 --> 00:25:54,471
He got shrapneled
in the back of the head, too. Show her.
376
00:25:57,891 --> 00:25:59,268
Hmm.
377
00:26:02,646 --> 00:26:04,565
I don't say I forgive you yet, by the way.
378
00:26:18,161 --> 00:26:20,122
Welcome from the
United States Military-Science
379
00:26:20,247 --> 00:26:22,124
Research and Experimentation Division,
380
00:26:22,249 --> 00:26:24,251
in conjunction with
the Larkings Foundation.
381
00:26:24,376 --> 00:26:25,836
We salute you.
382
00:26:36,096 --> 00:26:38,265
Each year, we celebrate Asteroid Day,
383
00:26:38,348 --> 00:26:40,934
commemorating September 23, 3007 BC,
384
00:26:41,059 --> 00:26:44,146
when the Arid Plains Meteorite
made Earth impact.
385
00:26:45,355 --> 00:26:47,149
The itinerary for
this three-day celebration
386
00:26:47,274 --> 00:26:49,484
includes a tour
of the newly refurbished observatory
387
00:26:49,610 --> 00:26:51,612
with Dr. Hickenlooper and her staff,
388
00:26:52,279 --> 00:26:54,489
a picnic supper of chili and frankfurters
389
00:26:54,615 --> 00:26:56,450
with an evening fireworks display,
390
00:26:57,451 --> 00:26:59,411
the viewing of the astronomical ellipses
391
00:26:59,536 --> 00:27:01,830
at its peak just before midnight tonight,
392
00:27:01,955 --> 00:27:04,208
and finally, the awarding of the annual
393
00:27:04,333 --> 00:27:07,711
Hickenlooper Scholarship
after Monday's banquet lunch.
394
00:27:08,462 --> 00:27:10,881
Now, I'll start by presenting
the commemorative medals,
395
00:27:10,964 --> 00:27:12,799
but first, I'll do my speech first,
396
00:27:12,925 --> 00:27:15,677
which you'll also receive
in a folio edition as a souvenir.
397
00:27:25,270 --> 00:27:26,647
Chapter One.
398
00:27:26,730 --> 00:27:28,857
I walked to school 18 miles
each morning, milked the goats,
399
00:27:28,982 --> 00:27:30,442
plucked the chickens,
played hooky, caught fireflies,
400
00:27:30,567 --> 00:27:33,403
went skinny-dipping in the watering hole,
said my prayers every night
401
00:27:33,529 --> 00:27:34,905
and got whipped with
a maple switch twice a week.
402
00:27:35,030 --> 00:27:36,198
That was life.
403
00:27:38,575 --> 00:27:39,910
Chapter Two.
404
00:27:39,993 --> 00:27:42,162
My father went off to fight
in the war to end all wars,
405
00:27:42,287 --> 00:27:43,705
it didn't, and what was left of him
406
00:27:43,830 --> 00:27:45,832
came back in a pine box
with a flag on top.
407
00:27:45,916 --> 00:27:47,251
End of Chapter Two.
408
00:27:48,210 --> 00:27:49,711
Next, I went to officer school,
409
00:27:49,837 --> 00:27:52,130
and 20 years passed
at the speed of a dream.
410
00:27:52,256 --> 00:27:54,758
A wife, a son, a daughter, a poodle.
411
00:27:55,425 --> 00:27:57,553
Chapter Three. Another war.
412
00:27:57,678 --> 00:27:59,680
Arms and legs blown off like popcorn,
413
00:27:59,972 --> 00:28:02,474
eyeballs gouged out,
figuratively and literally.
414
00:28:02,808 --> 00:28:06,019
The men put on shows under the palm fronds
dressed as women in hula skirts.
415
00:28:06,144 --> 00:28:07,688
That was life.
416
00:28:07,771 --> 00:28:10,148
In the meantime, somebody else's story.
417
00:28:10,274 --> 00:28:11,817
A man thinks up a number,
418
00:28:11,942 --> 00:28:13,694
divides it by a trillion,
plugs it into the square root
419
00:28:13,819 --> 00:28:15,237
of the circumference of the Earth
420
00:28:15,362 --> 00:28:17,239
multiplied by the speed
of a splitting atom,
421
00:28:17,322 --> 00:28:18,615
and voilà, progress.
422
00:28:18,740 --> 00:28:20,576
I'm not a scientist. You are.
423
00:28:20,951 --> 00:28:22,286
End of Chapter Three.
424
00:28:22,661 --> 00:28:25,205
Junior Stargazers and Space Cadets,
425
00:28:25,330 --> 00:28:27,624
we watch transfixed as you enter
426
00:28:27,749 --> 00:28:30,919
into uncharted territories
of the brains and spirit.
427
00:28:31,044 --> 00:28:33,797
If you wanted to live
a nice, quiet, peaceful life,
428
00:28:34,214 --> 00:28:36,216
you picked the wrong time to get born.
429
00:28:37,843 --> 00:28:39,386
That's my speech.
430
00:28:48,103 --> 00:28:50,564
Be notified, you are each
the guardian of your own safety.
431
00:28:51,023 --> 00:28:53,483
Maintain alert caution
throughout the following demonstrations.
432
00:28:55,152 --> 00:28:58,697
To Ricky Cho, for his work in the field
of aeronautical induction,
433
00:28:58,989 --> 00:29:01,325
the Collapsing Star Ribbon of Success.
434
00:29:01,450 --> 00:29:03,619
To Clifford Kellogg,
for his work in the study
435
00:29:03,744 --> 00:29:05,245
of particle disintegration,
436
00:29:06,747 --> 00:29:08,540
the Black Hole Badge of Triumph.
437
00:29:08,665 --> 00:29:10,209
To Dinah Campbell...
438
00:29:10,334 --> 00:29:12,169
It's fueled by
cosmic radiation instead of sunlight.
439
00:29:12,377 --> 00:29:15,088
for her work in the area
of botanical acceleration...
440
00:29:16,215 --> 00:29:18,509
Unfortunately, it makes
all vegetables toxic.
441
00:29:18,634 --> 00:29:20,385
the Red Giant Sash of Honor.
442
00:29:21,136 --> 00:29:22,596
To Shelly Borden, for her work
443
00:29:22,721 --> 00:29:24,181
in the realm of mineral fabrication...
444
00:29:24,306 --> 00:29:26,225
I synthesized an extraterrestrial element.
445
00:29:26,350 --> 00:29:28,894
It's going to be added
to the periodic table next year.
446
00:29:29,061 --> 00:29:30,979
the Distant Nebula
Laurel Crown.
447
00:29:31,897 --> 00:29:33,565
To Woodrow Steenbeck
448
00:29:35,317 --> 00:29:37,903
for his work in the sphere
of astronomical imaging...
449
00:29:43,116 --> 00:29:45,077
It may have applications
in the development
450
00:29:45,202 --> 00:29:47,037
of interstellar advertising.
451
00:29:47,204 --> 00:29:49,248
... the White Dwarf
Medal of Achievement.
452
00:29:54,753 --> 00:29:56,171
Our tour ends here.
453
00:29:56,296 --> 00:29:57,923
Thank you
for your attention, and thank you
454
00:29:58,048 --> 00:30:00,551
to the Larkings Foundation
for their generous funding.
455
00:30:07,307 --> 00:30:09,434
- What do those pulses indicate?
- What?
456
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:11,395
Oh, the beeps and blips? We don't know.
457
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,022
Indecipherable radio emissions
from outer space.
458
00:30:14,147 --> 00:30:16,149
- Probably a red herring.
- Does it change ever?
459
00:30:16,275 --> 00:30:17,985
Not to my knowledge.
460
00:30:18,318 --> 00:30:20,612
- It's a date, maybe.
- It's a date?
461
00:30:20,696 --> 00:30:22,114
- On the galactic calendar.
- Maybe.
462
00:30:22,239 --> 00:30:24,366
Mary, we think it's a date
on the galactic calendar.
463
00:30:24,491 --> 00:30:26,451
- What? Wow.
- Is it always today?
464
00:30:28,412 --> 00:30:30,414
Yippee-yay
465
00:30:30,664 --> 00:30:34,459
There'll be no wedding bells for today
466
00:30:34,793 --> 00:30:38,547
I got spurs that jingle jangle, jingle...
467
00:30:39,882 --> 00:30:41,091
We thank thee for the mustard.
468
00:30:41,175 --> 00:30:43,635
We thank thee for the relish,
and we thank thee for the onions.
469
00:30:43,719 --> 00:30:45,804
- We thank thee for the pickles, and we...
- Head count.
470
00:30:45,929 --> 00:30:46,930
- One.
- Two.
471
00:30:47,055 --> 00:30:48,182
- Three.
- Four.
472
00:30:48,307 --> 00:30:49,766
- Five.
- Six.
473
00:30:49,892 --> 00:30:51,560
- Dwight? Where's Dwight?
- Eight.
474
00:30:51,685 --> 00:30:54,146
- Dwight? Dwight?
- Less than 0.0000% chance exists
475
00:30:54,271 --> 00:30:56,231
of extraterrestrial life
in the entire universe.
476
00:30:56,356 --> 00:30:57,774
- Dwight!
- It's a scientific fact.
477
00:30:57,900 --> 00:30:59,693
Other than space bugs
and microscopic worms.
478
00:30:59,776 --> 00:31:01,445
- I assertively disagree.
- So do I.
479
00:31:01,528 --> 00:31:03,655
- It's not a scientific fact.
- It's not even a number.
480
00:31:03,739 --> 00:31:05,115
- Pass the pickles, please.
- How's the chili?
481
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:06,825
- Fine, once you add the hot sauce.
- Thank you.
482
00:31:06,950 --> 00:31:08,285
- Sparkler?
- Consider the constants...
483
00:31:08,410 --> 00:31:09,953
endless space and immeasurable time.
484
00:31:10,078 --> 00:31:12,247
The likelihood is increased
by a factor of infinity.
485
00:31:12,372 --> 00:31:14,416
- Where'd you get that?
- The cantina machine.
486
00:31:14,541 --> 00:31:16,627
- Where's the cantina machine?
- The cantina machine?
487
00:31:17,628 --> 00:31:20,005
Can you see anything
with those on your face?
488
00:31:20,547 --> 00:31:21,924
Hmm.
489
00:31:22,049 --> 00:31:24,218
Oh, gadzooks. Wh-What'd you...
490
00:31:24,343 --> 00:31:25,719
What did you do to deserve that?
491
00:31:25,844 --> 00:31:27,054
- Nothing.
- Who hit you?
492
00:31:27,137 --> 00:31:28,430
Nobody.
493
00:31:28,639 --> 00:31:30,849
It's greasepaint,
to feel like my character.
494
00:31:30,974 --> 00:31:33,393
Oh. How does she get a black eye?
495
00:31:33,519 --> 00:31:34,603
In the story.
496
00:31:34,728 --> 00:31:36,063
Well, she doesn't in the story.
497
00:31:36,188 --> 00:31:38,023
- It's on the inside.
- Okay.
498
00:31:38,148 --> 00:31:40,275
- It's supposed to be, anyway.
- It's on the inside. All right.
499
00:31:40,359 --> 00:31:41,860
The Larkings
Foundation claims permanent,
500
00:31:41,944 --> 00:31:43,320
- incontestable rights.
- That's right.
501
00:31:43,445 --> 00:31:44,696
- They're ours. We own them.
- Incontestable rights
502
00:31:44,780 --> 00:31:46,490
to all patents or inventions derived
503
00:31:46,615 --> 00:31:48,116
from any and every submission,
without exception.
504
00:31:48,242 --> 00:31:49,785
Not for teenagers. Read the fine print.
505
00:31:49,910 --> 00:31:51,495
The projects all belong to Uncle Sam.
506
00:31:53,372 --> 00:31:57,251
I call it "Triple Orbit and Return
without Burning Up in the Atmosphere."
507
00:32:06,260 --> 00:32:08,345
Why are you sitting there all by yourself?
508
00:32:08,679 --> 00:32:10,514
- You.
- Hmm?
509
00:32:11,473 --> 00:32:13,225
Uh, are you shy?
510
00:32:13,767 --> 00:32:15,269
I'm a late bloomer.
511
00:32:15,394 --> 00:32:17,062
So I've been told by my parents.
512
00:32:17,312 --> 00:32:20,065
- Are you intimidated by us?
- No.
513
00:32:20,190 --> 00:32:22,234
Let's do a personality test.
What's your name again?
514
00:32:22,359 --> 00:32:23,944
Woodrow L. Steenbeck.
515
00:32:24,069 --> 00:32:25,571
- Hmm.
- What's the "L" for?
516
00:32:25,696 --> 00:32:27,698
- Lindbergh.
- Everybody look at Woodrow.
517
00:32:32,077 --> 00:32:34,955
I agree. Shy but not intimidated.
518
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:36,540
Move over here, Woodrow.
519
00:32:49,636 --> 00:32:51,638
- Brainiac, huh?
- Yeah, brainiac.
520
00:32:51,722 --> 00:32:53,265
It sort of goes
without saying, doesn't it?
521
00:32:53,390 --> 00:32:55,684
Everybody already knows
we're abnormally intelligent.
522
00:32:55,809 --> 00:32:58,103
That's true. My mother made it for me.
523
00:32:58,228 --> 00:33:00,564
It's supposed to be funny,
according to her sense of humor,
524
00:33:00,689 --> 00:33:02,691
but it's not as hilarious
as it was originally.
525
00:33:02,816 --> 00:33:04,318
Oh, really? How come?
526
00:33:04,443 --> 00:33:07,070
Because she was alive then.
Now she's dead.
527
00:33:07,863 --> 00:33:09,198
- Oh.
- Ha-ha.
528
00:33:12,201 --> 00:33:13,410
What was she like?
529
00:33:14,536 --> 00:33:15,913
My... Oh, my mother?
530
00:33:16,705 --> 00:33:18,457
She was, um...
531
00:33:23,629 --> 00:33:24,922
Like this.
532
00:33:33,472 --> 00:33:34,890
When did you lose her?
533
00:33:37,601 --> 00:33:40,729
Officially, this morning,
but I think I already knew.
534
00:33:41,730 --> 00:33:42,731
Howdy.
535
00:33:43,398 --> 00:33:44,775
What are you doing up there?
536
00:33:44,900 --> 00:33:46,777
Just enjoying the desert air.
537
00:33:47,444 --> 00:33:49,446
- You dare me?
- Dare you what?
538
00:33:49,655 --> 00:33:51,073
To jump off this bungalow.
539
00:33:51,198 --> 00:33:53,992
- It's an experiment.
- No.
540
00:34:00,332 --> 00:34:02,084
I love gravity.
541
00:34:02,167 --> 00:34:04,962
It might be my favorite
law of physics at the moment.
542
00:34:07,005 --> 00:34:08,924
Players of the stage,
543
00:34:09,299 --> 00:34:11,969
a tribe of troubadours and nonconformists.
544
00:34:12,553 --> 00:34:15,304
They lead unconventional,
sometimes dangerous lives,
545
00:34:15,429 --> 00:34:18,475
which nourish and elevate
their artistic aspirations
546
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,726
and illuminate the human condition.
547
00:34:20,853 --> 00:34:22,813
Next, ten weeks later,
548
00:34:22,938 --> 00:34:25,732
the eve of Asteroid City's
first public preview.
549
00:34:25,858 --> 00:34:28,318
A drawing room on board
the Apache Plainsliner
550
00:34:28,443 --> 00:34:30,404
bound for the California coast.
551
00:34:30,529 --> 00:34:32,614
It's open.
552
00:34:34,908 --> 00:34:36,702
Schubert says you got to come back.
553
00:34:37,786 --> 00:34:39,871
If I'm so important,
why isn't he here himself?
554
00:34:39,996 --> 00:34:41,873
Probably too busy.
Too busy to go chasing after you.
555
00:34:41,998 --> 00:34:43,458
They sent me. You know who I am?
556
00:34:43,583 --> 00:34:45,168
I think so. Understudy.
557
00:34:45,293 --> 00:34:47,629
The understudy.
That's right. Let me just, uh...
558
00:34:49,922 --> 00:34:51,757
He said, if you're crying,
I read you this one.
559
00:34:51,967 --> 00:34:53,260
No, that's not it. Here it is.
560
00:34:53,385 --> 00:34:55,094
If you're hopping mad,
I read you this one.
561
00:34:55,219 --> 00:34:56,263
Give me both.
562
00:34:56,388 --> 00:34:57,806
Not what he said. He said, if...
563
00:34:57,973 --> 00:34:59,224
Give me both.
564
00:35:05,689 --> 00:35:07,482
"Tell her she's a stuck-up, low-class snob
565
00:35:07,566 --> 00:35:09,067
"but she's got no good reason to be.
566
00:35:09,151 --> 00:35:10,611
"If she sasses you, sass her back.
567
00:35:10,694 --> 00:35:11,862
"Tell her she's a borderline neurotic
568
00:35:11,945 --> 00:35:13,197
"with an Achilles heel complex."
569
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:14,698
That's the second one.
570
00:35:17,659 --> 00:35:19,661
"Tell her she relies
on her beauty like a wobbly crutch.
571
00:35:19,786 --> 00:35:20,996
"It's her deepest weakness.
572
00:35:21,121 --> 00:35:22,289
"Tell her she's got the potential
573
00:35:22,414 --> 00:35:23,665
"for genuine greatness, but I say
574
00:35:23,749 --> 00:35:25,959
"with absolute certainty
she will never achieve it."
575
00:35:27,085 --> 00:35:28,253
Anything else?
576
00:35:30,797 --> 00:35:33,300
Uh-huh. He said,
if you're cool and collected,
577
00:35:33,383 --> 00:35:34,801
which I think is
what I think you seem to be,
578
00:35:34,927 --> 00:35:36,803
then that means you probably
really don't want to come back
579
00:35:36,929 --> 00:35:38,138
and I got to give you this.
580
00:35:38,263 --> 00:35:39,973
- Read it.
- Not what he said.
581
00:35:40,098 --> 00:35:42,142
He said this one's private.
Just the two of you.
582
00:35:42,267 --> 00:35:44,228
He said that... He-he said...
583
00:35:50,692 --> 00:35:52,402
"Dear Kim, I'm sorry I shouted
584
00:35:52,528 --> 00:35:54,488
"and called you
a spoiled bitch and a minor talent
585
00:35:54,613 --> 00:35:56,532
"and broke your glasses
and threw them out the window.
586
00:35:56,657 --> 00:35:58,158
"Given that I have always considered you
587
00:35:58,283 --> 00:35:59,826
"to be the most
consummately gifted living actress
588
00:35:59,952 --> 00:36:01,912
"and a person of great
intelligence and character,
589
00:36:01,995 --> 00:36:03,372
"these statements and actions
590
00:36:03,497 --> 00:36:05,541
"do not accurately reflect
my true feelings.
591
00:36:05,749 --> 00:36:07,167
"Yes, I may be a manipulative snake,
592
00:36:07,292 --> 00:36:09,336
"as you once
characterized me behind my back...
593
00:36:09,419 --> 00:36:11,880
"you see, I do have my sources,
but I love you like a sister,
594
00:36:12,005 --> 00:36:14,132
"other than that one time
in the bathroom the day we met,
595
00:36:14,258 --> 00:36:16,385
"which has never
been repeated, as we both know.
596
00:36:22,349 --> 00:36:23,559
"I never meant to hurt you
597
00:36:23,684 --> 00:36:25,853
"or insult you or offend you in any way,
598
00:36:25,978 --> 00:36:28,564
"only to try
with the few tools I have at my disposal
599
00:36:28,689 --> 00:36:31,191
"to do my job, which is to make it work.
600
00:36:31,316 --> 00:36:32,693
"Forgive me.
601
00:36:32,818 --> 00:36:34,528
"We open tomorrow night,
with or without you.
602
00:36:34,987 --> 00:36:36,947
"Without, our entire devoted company
603
00:36:37,072 --> 00:36:39,491
"will suffer
complete disaster and tragic calamity,
604
00:36:39,616 --> 00:36:42,661
"as will a brilliant,
fragile genius named Conrad Earp.
605
00:36:43,161 --> 00:36:45,747
"With, you will enjoy
the triumph of your career,
606
00:36:45,873 --> 00:36:48,166
"which does not matter in the least.
607
00:36:48,500 --> 00:36:51,712
"All that matters is
every second of life onstage
608
00:36:51,837 --> 00:36:53,338
"and our friendship.
609
00:36:53,630 --> 00:36:57,467
"Your servant, your director
and, if I may, your devoted mentor,
610
00:36:57,593 --> 00:36:58,969
"Schubert Green."
611
00:37:05,851 --> 00:37:07,603
What's your name, understudy?
612
00:37:09,605 --> 00:37:12,399
They continued through
the night as far as Ohio,
613
00:37:12,691 --> 00:37:14,902
then disembarked
and caught the return flight
614
00:37:15,027 --> 00:37:17,946
arriving two hours prior to curtain.
615
00:37:18,197 --> 00:37:22,701
The talented understudy
immediately replaced the original Woodrow.
616
00:37:24,703 --> 00:37:27,080
I strongly question
whether your daughter's Silly Putty
617
00:37:27,206 --> 00:37:28,749
resembles anything from outer space.
618
00:37:28,874 --> 00:37:30,709
- It's not Silly Putty.
- I'm sorry, but I doubt it.
619
00:37:30,834 --> 00:37:32,085
It's called S'morestozium.
620
00:37:32,336 --> 00:37:33,670
- This is excellent.
- Thank you.
621
00:37:33,754 --> 00:37:34,963
It's really all the machine's doing.
622
00:37:35,047 --> 00:37:37,299
What the devil do you know
about astrogeology anyway,
623
00:37:37,424 --> 00:37:38,926
J.J, whatever that stands for?
624
00:37:39,051 --> 00:37:40,260
I just maintain the workings.
625
00:37:40,385 --> 00:37:41,887
Shelly's thesis is supported by...
626
00:37:42,012 --> 00:37:43,347
Flimsy, outdated evidence.
627
00:37:43,472 --> 00:37:45,015
- I beg your pardon?
- Not in my opinion.
628
00:37:45,140 --> 00:37:46,642
I liked the Silly Putty
or S'morestozium, in fact.
629
00:37:46,767 --> 00:37:47,976
I'm just quoting what he said.
630
00:37:48,101 --> 00:37:50,812
Your son's project might very well
have killed us all today, by the way.
631
00:37:50,938 --> 00:37:52,564
Coming from the family that brought us
632
00:37:52,648 --> 00:37:53,899
- the electromagnetic death ray.
- It's a weapon.
633
00:37:54,024 --> 00:37:55,984
- Of course it's lethal.
- So you admit it.
634
00:37:56,193 --> 00:37:57,903
Not to mention Brainiac's flag.
635
00:37:58,028 --> 00:37:59,655
I mean, is he trying
to provoke World War III or something?
636
00:37:59,780 --> 00:38:01,365
The jet propulsion belt is eminently safe.
637
00:38:01,490 --> 00:38:03,075
I'd allow an eight-year-old boy
to operate it.
638
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,035
In fact, I did... Ricky's cousin Chip,
639
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,329
and he broke
the solo flight altitude record.
640
00:38:08,580 --> 00:38:09,831
They're strange, aren't they?
641
00:38:09,915 --> 00:38:11,792
Your children, compared to normal people.
642
00:38:12,084 --> 00:38:13,252
- Yes.
- That's correct.
643
00:38:13,377 --> 00:38:14,962
- It's true.
- Hmm.
644
00:38:16,171 --> 00:38:17,339
After that, the second person
645
00:38:17,422 --> 00:38:19,299
says the name the first one said,
then adds another.
646
00:38:19,383 --> 00:38:21,134
Then the third person
says both plus a new name.
647
00:38:21,218 --> 00:38:23,345
And then the next person keeps going,
and so on in a circle.
648
00:38:23,428 --> 00:38:24,471
It's a memory game. Get it?
649
00:38:24,555 --> 00:38:25,722
I'll start. Cleopatra.
650
00:38:25,848 --> 00:38:27,474
Cleopatra, Jagadish Chandra Bose.
651
00:38:27,599 --> 00:38:28,684
- Like that?
- Exactly.
652
00:38:28,809 --> 00:38:30,185
- Of course. Yes.
- Got it.
653
00:38:30,310 --> 00:38:32,604
Cleopatra, Jagadish Chandra Bose,
654
00:38:32,729 --> 00:38:34,857
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek.
655
00:38:35,065 --> 00:38:36,608
Cleopatra, Jagadish Chandra Bose,
656
00:38:36,733 --> 00:38:39,862
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek, Paracelsus.
657
00:38:40,237 --> 00:38:41,822
Cleopatra, Jagadish Chandra Bose,
658
00:38:41,905 --> 00:38:45,200
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
Paracelsus, uh, Kurt Gödel.
659
00:38:45,284 --> 00:38:46,368
Oh, the Vienna Circle.
660
00:38:46,451 --> 00:38:47,870
- The Austrian logician.
- Correct.
661
00:38:49,413 --> 00:38:50,998
Cleopatra,
662
00:38:51,123 --> 00:38:53,000
Jagadish Chandra Bose,
663
00:38:53,125 --> 00:38:54,960
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
664
00:38:55,085 --> 00:38:56,378
Paracelsus,
665
00:38:57,087 --> 00:38:58,589
Kurt Gödel,
666
00:38:59,089 --> 00:39:00,674
- William Bragg.
- Which one?
667
00:39:00,757 --> 00:39:02,342
- There's two.
- William Henry Bragg.
668
00:39:02,426 --> 00:39:03,844
- I prefer the son.
- The father's better.
669
00:39:03,927 --> 00:39:06,805
Cleopatra, Jagadish Chandra Bose,
670
00:39:06,930 --> 00:39:08,640
- Antonie van...
- Leeuwenhoek.
671
00:39:09,099 --> 00:39:11,310
Paracelsus, Kurt Gödel,
672
00:39:11,435 --> 00:39:12,686
William Henry Bragg.
673
00:39:13,478 --> 00:39:14,771
- And the new one.
- Lord Kelvin.
674
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:17,024
Cleopatra, Jagadish Chandra Bose,
675
00:39:17,107 --> 00:39:19,234
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
Paracelsus, Kurt Gödel,
676
00:39:19,318 --> 00:39:21,278
William Henry Bragg, Lord Kelvin...
677
00:39:22,154 --> 00:39:23,947
Midge Campbell. Can I say her?
678
00:39:24,072 --> 00:39:26,074
As long as she's a real person,
you can say anybody you like.
679
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:27,826
Cleopatra,
Jagadish Chandra Bose...
680
00:39:27,910 --> 00:39:29,494
- Including my mother.
- She's my idol.
681
00:39:29,661 --> 00:39:31,788
My turn. Jagadish Chandra Bose,
Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
682
00:39:31,872 --> 00:39:34,208
Paracelsus, Kurt Gödel,
William Bragg, the father,
683
00:39:34,291 --> 00:39:36,210
Lord Kelvin, the mathematical physicist,
684
00:39:36,293 --> 00:39:37,836
Midge Campbell, your mother,
685
00:39:37,961 --> 00:39:40,255
Konstantin Tsiolkovsky,
the rocket scientist.
686
00:39:40,380 --> 00:39:42,049
I don't know if this game works with us.
687
00:39:42,549 --> 00:39:45,177
Uh, brainiacs, I mean.
I-I think it might go on forever.
688
00:39:45,260 --> 00:39:46,345
I don't mind.
689
00:39:46,428 --> 00:39:49,056
In my school, nobody'd play
this game with me in a million years.
690
00:39:49,389 --> 00:39:50,766
Plus, the names would be too obvious.
691
00:39:50,891 --> 00:39:52,643
I know my next one... Diophantus.
692
00:39:52,809 --> 00:39:54,269
Wait until it's time to say it.
693
00:39:54,353 --> 00:39:55,812
Try it backwards, Brainiac.
694
00:39:56,313 --> 00:39:57,648
Say the new one first.
695
00:39:59,942 --> 00:40:01,401
Hojo Tokiyuki,
696
00:40:02,277 --> 00:40:03,695
Konstantin Tsiolkovsky,
697
00:40:04,154 --> 00:40:06,031
Midge Campbell, Lord Kelvin,
698
00:40:06,281 --> 00:40:08,367
William Henry Bragg, Kurt Gödel,
699
00:40:08,951 --> 00:40:11,036
Paracelsus, Antonie van Leeuwenhoek,
700
00:40:11,161 --> 00:40:12,788
Jagadish Chandra Bose...
701
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:16,124
Cleopatra.
702
00:40:30,556 --> 00:40:32,432
Put out that cigarette, Dwight.
703
00:40:33,517 --> 00:40:34,935
Oh, hold on. Hold on.
704
00:40:35,060 --> 00:40:37,437
You men should be
ashamed of yourselves. Are you?
705
00:40:37,521 --> 00:40:39,022
Yes, ma'am, but we didn't give him that.
706
00:40:39,106 --> 00:40:40,107
- Didn't you?
- That cigarette.
707
00:40:40,190 --> 00:40:41,233
He just must have got it his own self...
708
00:40:41,316 --> 00:40:43,235
- Dwight!
- ... from the cigarette machine.
709
00:40:47,197 --> 00:40:48,657
I almost believe you.
710
00:40:48,782 --> 00:40:49,992
Let's go.
711
00:40:52,828 --> 00:40:54,580
- So long, Dwight.
- So long, Dwight.
712
00:41:13,182 --> 00:41:14,850
Was I ever there?
713
00:41:16,059 --> 00:41:17,561
Was I ever there?
714
00:41:18,896 --> 00:41:21,148
Was I ever there?
715
00:41:26,236 --> 00:41:27,738
Memorizing my lines.
716
00:41:27,946 --> 00:41:29,198
Uh-huh.
717
00:41:33,660 --> 00:41:34,953
Approved.
718
00:41:43,837 --> 00:41:48,509
As I walked out in the streets of Laredo
719
00:41:48,675 --> 00:41:53,013
As I walked out in Laredo one day
720
00:41:53,138 --> 00:41:55,224
I spied a young cowboy...
721
00:41:55,349 --> 00:41:56,725
I do a nude scene. You want to see it?
722
00:41:59,811 --> 00:42:02,189
- Huh? Did I say yes?
- You didn't say anything.
723
00:42:02,481 --> 00:42:04,483
Uh, I meant yes.
My mouth... My mouth didn't speak.
724
00:42:04,566 --> 00:42:05,651
It's a monologue.
725
00:42:05,776 --> 00:42:07,653
Pretend it starts
when I step out of the shower.
726
00:42:07,778 --> 00:42:09,863
That you are a cowboy
727
00:42:09,988 --> 00:42:11,740
These words he did say
728
00:42:11,865 --> 00:42:14,826
As I boldly walked by
729
00:42:14,952 --> 00:42:19,498
Come sit down beside me
and hear my sad story
730
00:42:19,623 --> 00:42:24,211
I'm shot in the breast
and I know I must die...
731
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:28,590
When you first picked me out
of the secretarial pool,
732
00:42:28,715 --> 00:42:31,093
I had $111 in my bank account.
733
00:42:31,260 --> 00:42:34,471
I lived alone with a cat and a parakeet
in a one-room dishwater flat.
734
00:42:34,596 --> 00:42:38,058
I sold the DeSoto to lend you
the down payment for my engagement ring.
735
00:42:38,183 --> 00:42:39,393
It was spring.
736
00:42:39,518 --> 00:42:40,853
I'm not sore.
737
00:42:41,186 --> 00:42:42,604
I know you're a good man.
738
00:42:43,272 --> 00:42:44,606
I'm not sorry.
739
00:42:44,731 --> 00:42:46,149
I never deceived you.
740
00:42:46,942 --> 00:42:49,152
Remember me as a blur
in the rearview mirror.
741
00:42:49,444 --> 00:42:51,029
Was I ever there?
742
00:42:51,154 --> 00:42:52,781
Did you actually see me?
743
00:42:54,908 --> 00:42:56,952
I can't even see myself anymore.
744
00:42:59,329 --> 00:43:00,497
But here I am.
745
00:43:05,169 --> 00:43:06,461
Let's get divorced.
746
00:43:11,175 --> 00:43:12,259
It'll be done tastefully, of course.
747
00:43:12,342 --> 00:43:14,553
We cut to the back of my legs
when the towel falls down.
748
00:43:16,722 --> 00:43:18,932
Sometimes... They sometimes
do a stunt double.
749
00:43:19,099 --> 00:43:20,475
Sometimes.
750
00:43:21,059 --> 00:43:23,020
I don't know if I like beards, by the way.
751
00:43:23,145 --> 00:43:24,396
Oh.
752
00:43:24,521 --> 00:43:25,939
Can I take another picture?
753
00:43:26,190 --> 00:43:27,608
Not for publication.
754
00:43:28,817 --> 00:43:30,277
I thought you never ask permission.
755
00:43:34,615 --> 00:43:35,991
Don't move.
756
00:43:44,917 --> 00:43:46,710
I prefer to play abused,
tragic alcoholics,
757
00:43:46,835 --> 00:43:48,795
and one day,
I'll probably be discovered lifeless
758
00:43:48,921 --> 00:43:50,714
in an overflowing bathtub
with an empty bottle
759
00:43:50,839 --> 00:43:53,050
of sleeping pills spilled
all over the floor,
760
00:43:53,926 --> 00:43:57,721
but the sad thing is
I'm actually a very gifted comedienne.
761
00:43:57,971 --> 00:43:59,890
- That's true.
- Are you married?
762
00:44:00,015 --> 00:44:02,601
I'm a widower, but don't tell my kids.
763
00:44:02,726 --> 00:44:04,311
- Why not?
- I-I...
764
00:44:04,436 --> 00:44:06,230
- I mean, I wasn't going to.
- All right. Okay.
765
00:44:06,355 --> 00:44:08,315
- Yeah.
- Oh. I'm sorry.
766
00:44:08,398 --> 00:44:10,484
Thank you. They do know, by the way,
767
00:44:10,734 --> 00:44:11,735
but just barely.
768
00:44:20,953 --> 00:44:24,122
What do you swap for
out of this particular jukebox, mister?
769
00:44:24,206 --> 00:44:27,084
Of course. I understand.
This machine sells land.
770
00:44:27,167 --> 00:44:28,919
- Land, you say?
- Yes, indeed.
771
00:44:29,044 --> 00:44:30,671
The properties just beyond
these cottages, in fact.
772
00:44:30,796 --> 00:44:32,130
Out of this here soda pop machine?
773
00:44:32,256 --> 00:44:33,382
Yes, indeed.
774
00:44:35,843 --> 00:44:37,594
Well, now,
I ain't calling you a liar to your face,
775
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:39,847
but that sounds to me like
some kind of toadswindle.
776
00:44:39,972 --> 00:44:41,557
Of course. I understand.
It's not a toadswindle.
777
00:44:41,682 --> 00:44:44,768
You put in the money, you receive
a notarized deed to the land.
778
00:44:44,893 --> 00:44:46,395
How big a spread?
779
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:47,855
For $10 in quarters,
780
00:44:48,272 --> 00:44:49,940
approximately half a tennis court.
781
00:44:57,364 --> 00:44:58,949
Put the potion in it.
782
00:45:00,284 --> 00:45:02,536
Friskity, triskity, briskity, boo.
783
00:45:02,828 --> 00:45:05,163
Knickerty, knockerty, tockerty, too.
784
00:45:07,207 --> 00:45:11,712
And with this spell,
Mama comes back alive!
785
00:45:12,504 --> 00:45:14,381
God save these bones.
786
00:45:21,513 --> 00:45:23,140
What's in the Tupperware?
787
00:45:23,348 --> 00:45:25,267
Freight train, freight train
788
00:45:25,350 --> 00:45:27,102
Going so fast...
789
00:45:28,103 --> 00:45:29,521
He finally told you.
790
00:45:31,315 --> 00:45:33,942
I don't know what train he's on
791
00:45:34,067 --> 00:45:37,696
Won't you tell me where's he gone...
792
00:45:41,742 --> 00:45:43,243
Who's this old man?
793
00:45:43,452 --> 00:45:44,912
Poppy, I think.
794
00:45:45,204 --> 00:45:46,705
You don't remember me.
795
00:45:46,830 --> 00:45:48,498
I remember his smell.
796
00:45:56,715 --> 00:46:00,302
We're not going to abandon my daughter
at a motel in the middle of the desert,
797
00:46:00,385 --> 00:46:02,346
buried next to the communal showers.
798
00:46:04,223 --> 00:46:05,516
You're ruining the funeral!
799
00:46:05,599 --> 00:46:06,683
He's making her go to hell!
800
00:46:06,767 --> 00:46:09,436
If you torture us, we'll sacrifice you.
801
00:46:10,395 --> 00:46:11,730
I understand.
802
00:46:11,855 --> 00:46:14,483
Thank you for your clarity.
803
00:46:15,359 --> 00:46:17,903
I'll tell you what, let's leave her
804
00:46:17,986 --> 00:46:19,446
alone in the ground
until tomorrow morning.
805
00:46:19,571 --> 00:46:22,950
Then we'll exhume the Tupperware,
bring her with us in the Cadillac
806
00:46:23,534 --> 00:46:25,202
and bury her again
this weekend in the backyard
807
00:46:25,327 --> 00:46:26,995
next to the seventh hole at Rancho Palms,
808
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:29,039
where I live
in a beautiful house with a swimming pool.
809
00:46:29,122 --> 00:46:30,207
Agreed?
810
00:46:30,374 --> 00:46:31,500
- Mmm-hmm.
- Okay.
811
00:46:33,752 --> 00:46:35,712
Let's hope a coyote doesn't
dig her up in the meantime.
812
00:46:35,838 --> 00:46:37,548
Nothing we can do about it anyway.
813
00:46:39,174 --> 00:46:40,801
Ooh. Look at that.
814
00:46:56,942 --> 00:46:58,735
Tonight, you're in for a real treat.
815
00:46:58,902 --> 00:47:02,447
I don't know how many of you ever observed
an astronomical ellipses before.
816
00:47:02,531 --> 00:47:04,491
In fact, can we get a show of hands?
817
00:47:05,826 --> 00:47:07,119
Nobody?
818
00:47:07,452 --> 00:47:09,121
Wow. Okay.
819
00:47:09,580 --> 00:47:13,250
Well, what you're gonna see
is a very simple dot-dot-dot...
820
00:47:13,375 --> 00:47:15,878
three pinpoints of light
inside your refracting box,
821
00:47:16,003 --> 00:47:18,130
which may not sound
very exciting at first,
822
00:47:18,255 --> 00:47:21,091
until you consider how those dots
managed to transmit themselves
823
00:47:21,216 --> 00:47:25,470
across a thousand billion miles of space
onto that little scrap of black cardboard.
824
00:47:26,180 --> 00:47:27,848
Twice every 57 years,
825
00:47:27,973 --> 00:47:29,725
when the Earth, the sun, the moon,
826
00:47:29,850 --> 00:47:31,476
and the galactic plane of the Milky Way
827
00:47:31,602 --> 00:47:34,354
all combobulate along the same
angle of orbital interest,
828
00:47:34,479 --> 00:47:37,816
the radiant energy of three
neighboring stellar systems
829
00:47:37,941 --> 00:47:39,526
induces a parallel ecliptic transit,
830
00:47:39,651 --> 00:47:41,445
thus all but proving
831
00:47:41,570 --> 00:47:43,822
the hypothesis of celestial flirtation.
832
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:46,658
The hitch, of course,
is that the math doesn't work.
833
00:47:46,783 --> 00:47:48,452
But maybe one of you one day
834
00:47:48,577 --> 00:47:50,662
will be the genius
who solves that problem.
835
00:47:50,996 --> 00:47:53,332
The event will begin in 30 seconds.
836
00:47:53,916 --> 00:47:56,210
Remember, if you look directly
at the ellipses
837
00:47:56,293 --> 00:47:57,544
rather than through your refracting box,
838
00:47:57,669 --> 00:47:59,338
not only will you
not actually see the effect
839
00:47:59,463 --> 00:48:00,964
but you will burn the dots
840
00:48:01,089 --> 00:48:02,883
straight into your retina,
probably permanently.
841
00:48:03,008 --> 00:48:05,219
I know that for a fact,
because they're still burned into mine
842
00:48:05,344 --> 00:48:07,262
from when I was 11 going on 12.
843
00:48:07,387 --> 00:48:09,765
That's when I realized
I wanted to be an astronomer,
844
00:48:09,890 --> 00:48:11,016
which is another story.
845
00:48:11,141 --> 00:48:12,142
Here we go.
846
00:48:38,961 --> 00:48:40,045
There it is.
847
00:48:40,170 --> 00:48:42,130
Ooh!
848
00:48:42,422 --> 00:48:45,384
Uh, these are just such
marvelously luminous colors, aren't they?
849
00:48:45,634 --> 00:48:47,803
Very exciting. Does everybody see it?
850
00:48:47,886 --> 00:48:50,138
I don't. I just see a staple.
851
00:48:54,351 --> 00:48:56,019
Yipe! It works.
852
00:48:57,187 --> 00:48:58,689
Are you Shelly?
853
00:48:59,106 --> 00:49:00,148
Yeah.
854
00:49:00,232 --> 00:49:02,025
I'm your idol. What's your rank?
855
00:49:02,568 --> 00:49:03,861
Commanding secretary.
856
00:49:04,403 --> 00:49:05,904
I was a Cookie Trooper myself.
857
00:49:06,029 --> 00:49:07,447
Really? Wow.
858
00:49:07,573 --> 00:49:09,533
What'll they say in Squad 75?
859
00:49:13,745 --> 00:49:15,080
Hmm?
860
00:51:57,242 --> 00:52:00,454
The, uh, alien stole the asteroid.
861
00:52:15,177 --> 00:52:18,889
Schubert Green,
born Shylock Grzworvszowski.
862
00:52:18,972 --> 00:52:20,599
Director, immigrant.
863
00:52:20,724 --> 00:52:24,645
Known for his limitless energy,
his voracious enthusiasms...
864
00:52:24,811 --> 00:52:27,064
a well-known actress
described him sexually
865
00:52:27,189 --> 00:52:29,858
as an animal, specifically a rabbit,
866
00:52:29,983 --> 00:52:32,819
and his long, deep,
and intimate relationship
867
00:52:33,779 --> 00:52:35,030
with success.
868
00:52:35,739 --> 00:52:37,533
What do you think, Lunky?
869
00:52:37,658 --> 00:52:38,700
Good.
870
00:52:44,706 --> 00:52:46,792
I'm not going to ask
what the hell's going on here.
871
00:52:47,042 --> 00:52:50,087
His wife Polly left him
for an all-star second baseman
872
00:52:50,212 --> 00:52:52,130
during the first week of rehearsals.
873
00:52:53,048 --> 00:52:54,633
My living quarters.
874
00:52:54,758 --> 00:52:56,635
Oh, Rose
875
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:58,929
My Rose Marie...
876
00:52:59,054 --> 00:53:00,264
Sign this.
877
00:53:00,347 --> 00:53:01,557
Oh, no.
878
00:53:04,268 --> 00:53:06,520
It's Clark's report card.
879
00:53:06,645 --> 00:53:08,397
Uh-huh. What'd you think it was?
880
00:53:08,939 --> 00:53:10,983
I thought maybe we were already divorced.
881
00:53:11,108 --> 00:53:12,317
Oh.
882
00:53:12,442 --> 00:53:14,611
Not yet, but eventually.
883
00:53:14,736 --> 00:53:16,697
He made the honor roll again.
884
00:53:17,823 --> 00:53:21,535
Oh, Rose Marie
885
00:53:21,660 --> 00:53:24,162
I love you
886
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:28,208
I'm always dreaming...
887
00:53:30,919 --> 00:53:32,921
I'm staying at Diego's penthouse.
888
00:53:33,005 --> 00:53:35,340
Clark's at my mother's.
The apartment's empty.
889
00:53:35,465 --> 00:53:37,176
Why don't you just go home?
890
00:53:37,551 --> 00:53:39,970
I don't think I should be alone
in a building with real windows.
891
00:53:43,682 --> 00:53:45,392
Makeup cuts my hair and shaves me.
892
00:53:45,517 --> 00:53:47,227
Costumes washes my dungarees.
893
00:53:48,020 --> 00:53:50,063
This is where I belong, for now.
894
00:53:51,148 --> 00:53:52,649
Much better.
895
00:53:52,774 --> 00:53:54,776
- Did you do the green?
- Hmm.
896
00:53:58,280 --> 00:54:00,449
It's been a great ten years, Schubert.
897
00:54:00,574 --> 00:54:02,701
I don't regret a second of it.
898
00:54:02,826 --> 00:54:04,411
Clark still loves you.
899
00:54:05,204 --> 00:54:06,496
I still love you.
900
00:54:07,706 --> 00:54:09,082
But not like before?
901
00:54:10,042 --> 00:54:11,710
But not like before.
902
00:54:20,427 --> 00:54:22,304
Schubert Green lived
in the scenic bay
903
00:54:22,429 --> 00:54:23,805
of the Tarkington Theater
904
00:54:23,931 --> 00:54:27,643
for all 785 performances of Asteroid City.
905
00:54:27,768 --> 00:54:29,353
Dark nights, he stayed
906
00:54:29,478 --> 00:54:31,897
in the Governor's Suite
of the Nebraska Hotel.
907
00:54:32,022 --> 00:54:33,899
One last note.
908
00:54:34,316 --> 00:54:37,236
When Midge makes
her exit in Act Three, Scene Five,
909
00:54:37,319 --> 00:54:40,405
try having her say
the line after she closes the door.
910
00:54:40,531 --> 00:54:43,033
Hmm. Maybe we are doomed.
911
00:54:43,951 --> 00:54:45,160
I will.
912
00:54:45,536 --> 00:54:50,791
My Rose Marie
913
00:54:51,124 --> 00:54:52,459
Goodbye.
914
00:55:38,714 --> 00:55:40,465
Here he comes.
915
00:55:41,633 --> 00:55:43,218
I've just informed the president.
916
00:55:43,802 --> 00:55:45,846
He authorized me to read
and implement the provisions
917
00:55:45,971 --> 00:55:47,931
of National Security
Emergency Scrimmage Plan X.
918
00:55:48,056 --> 00:55:49,266
Here I go.
919
00:55:50,058 --> 00:55:54,146
"The following top secret directive
was mandated into law on July 1, 1950."
920
00:55:54,897 --> 00:55:56,440
"In the event of unforeseen engagement
921
00:55:56,565 --> 00:55:58,650
"with intelligent life-form
or forms from any planet
922
00:55:58,775 --> 00:56:00,611
"not specifically defined as our Earth,
923
00:56:00,736 --> 00:56:02,821
"be advised to initiate
the following protocols.
924
00:56:03,238 --> 00:56:06,617
"One, confirm said life-form
is not operating under the guidance
925
00:56:06,700 --> 00:56:08,452
"of any hostile foreign
terrestrial government."
926
00:56:08,535 --> 00:56:09,828
No, I don't think
he's working for the Russians
927
00:56:09,953 --> 00:56:11,413
or the Red Chinese, but you never know.
928
00:56:11,538 --> 00:56:13,165
He certainly didn't give me
that impression.
929
00:56:13,290 --> 00:56:16,084
"Two, confirm the life-form
does not intend to annex,
930
00:56:16,168 --> 00:56:18,170
"colonize, vaporize,
or expropriate the resources
931
00:56:18,295 --> 00:56:20,714
"of the sovereign territories
of the United States of America."
932
00:56:20,839 --> 00:56:22,966
I doubt it. He took the asteroid and went.
933
00:56:23,091 --> 00:56:25,552
"Three, identify and detain
all possible witnesses
934
00:56:25,636 --> 00:56:26,845
"and place them under group arrest
935
00:56:26,929 --> 00:56:28,263
"for a period of no less than one week
936
00:56:28,388 --> 00:56:29,681
"defined as seven calendar days
937
00:56:29,806 --> 00:56:31,308
"during which time they be subjected
938
00:56:31,433 --> 00:56:33,352
"to a prescribed battery
of medical and psychological
939
00:56:33,435 --> 00:56:35,020
"examinations and cross-examinations."
940
00:56:35,145 --> 00:56:37,022
Standard procedure. Already in the works.
941
00:56:37,356 --> 00:56:38,732
"Four, secure the site,
942
00:56:38,815 --> 00:56:40,108
"cease the dissemination of information,
943
00:56:40,234 --> 00:56:41,860
"collect and transport
the totality of evidence
944
00:56:41,985 --> 00:56:43,278
"to a hermetically enclosed,
945
00:56:43,403 --> 00:56:44,696
"deep-underground secret storage facility
946
00:56:44,821 --> 00:56:46,657
"and publicly deny
all aspects of the event,
947
00:56:46,782 --> 00:56:49,535
"including its existence,
for a period of no less than 100 years,
948
00:56:49,618 --> 00:56:51,453
"defined as 36,500 days."
949
00:56:51,578 --> 00:56:52,996
End of directive.
950
00:56:53,288 --> 00:56:54,623
- That's pretty clear.
- Huh.
951
00:56:54,748 --> 00:56:55,958
- What do we tell them?
- Who?
952
00:56:56,083 --> 00:56:58,627
The Junior Stargazers,
the Space Cadets, the moms and dads.
953
00:56:58,961 --> 00:57:00,963
- Midge Campbell.
- Midge Campbell.
954
00:57:01,088 --> 00:57:02,673
Tell them it didn't happen?
955
00:57:04,716 --> 00:57:08,595
No, obviously, we'll have to formulate
a suitable cover story.
956
00:57:11,849 --> 00:57:13,433
You dare me?
957
00:57:15,269 --> 00:57:17,604
- Dare you what?
- To press that button.
958
00:57:19,106 --> 00:57:21,525
I will break your neck.
959
00:57:21,608 --> 00:57:24,152
That's an alien eating an apple.
That's an alien doing jumping jacks.
960
00:57:24,236 --> 00:57:27,030
That's an alien in a top hat.
That's an alien climbing a ladder.
961
00:57:27,155 --> 00:57:28,407
That's an alien on a racehorse.
That's an alien...
962
00:57:28,532 --> 00:57:30,117
Let's take it from the top.
963
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:33,036
I told you 50 times,
the alien picked up the asteroid...
964
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:34,580
- "Alleged" alien.
- I know what I saw!
965
00:57:34,705 --> 00:57:36,123
- It's called a meteorite.
- An extraterrestrial being.
966
00:57:36,248 --> 00:57:37,791
This is a microfiche
of your school newspaper.
967
00:57:37,916 --> 00:57:40,002
Your byline accompanies
an article criticizing
968
00:57:40,085 --> 00:57:41,587
the principal's disciplinary methods.
969
00:57:41,712 --> 00:57:43,922
- Who were your sources?
- I was in the sixth grade.
970
00:57:44,047 --> 00:57:46,008
- Just answer the question.
- And I will not name names!
971
00:57:50,762 --> 00:57:51,972
- You dared me!
- What did I say?
972
00:57:52,097 --> 00:57:53,891
- What did I say?
- You dared me!
973
00:58:02,566 --> 00:58:05,068
All right. Um...
974
00:58:05,194 --> 00:58:07,446
When I'm calling you...
975
00:58:08,655 --> 00:58:10,032
I'm going to attempt to proceed
976
00:58:10,157 --> 00:58:12,201
with the lesson plan
I originally prepared.
977
00:58:12,326 --> 00:58:14,161
Just to keep orderliness
under the circumstances.
978
00:58:14,286 --> 00:58:15,704
I expect that some...
979
00:58:15,913 --> 00:58:19,249
Some of our information about outer space
may no longer be completely accurate,
980
00:58:19,333 --> 00:58:21,627
but, anyway,
there are still only nine planets
981
00:58:21,752 --> 00:58:23,670
in the solar system,
as far as we know. Billy?
982
00:58:23,921 --> 00:58:25,506
Except now there's an alien.
983
00:58:26,465 --> 00:58:28,509
True, by all appearances.
984
00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:30,177
Nevertheless, Neptune...
985
00:58:30,302 --> 00:58:31,929
Fourth largest planet by diameter,
986
00:58:32,054 --> 00:58:35,891
Neptune orbits the sun
only once every 165 years. Bernice?
987
00:58:36,517 --> 00:58:38,435
Maybe the alien went there.
988
00:58:39,186 --> 00:58:40,479
Well, maybe.
989
00:58:40,896 --> 00:58:44,358
I don't think anybody knows
where the alien went or came from.
990
00:58:44,525 --> 00:58:45,567
Yes, Dwight?
991
00:58:45,692 --> 00:58:47,819
At first,
I thought the alien was kind of sneaky,
992
00:58:47,945 --> 00:58:50,239
but now I think
he was probably nervous to go to Earth.
993
00:58:50,364 --> 00:58:52,157
He's never been here before, I bet you.
994
00:58:52,366 --> 00:58:53,575
Then why'd he steal our asteroid, then,
995
00:58:53,700 --> 00:58:54,952
if he's such a gentleman?
996
00:58:55,077 --> 00:58:56,912
These are all reasonable questions,
997
00:58:57,037 --> 00:58:59,039
but, at this time, let's stick to Neptune
998
00:58:59,164 --> 00:59:01,166
because I haven't had time
to prepare any lesson plan
999
00:59:01,291 --> 00:59:02,668
on this subject we're talking about.
1000
00:59:02,876 --> 00:59:03,919
The alien.
1001
00:59:04,002 --> 00:59:05,504
The alien, yes.
1002
00:59:07,005 --> 00:59:09,591
And, by the way,
I don't mean to evade your questions.
1003
00:59:09,716 --> 00:59:11,385
I want to emphasize that you're safe.
1004
00:59:11,593 --> 00:59:13,303
We all are, here on Earth.
1005
00:59:13,387 --> 00:59:15,848
Your parents
have been notified of at least something.
1006
00:59:15,973 --> 00:59:18,559
America remains at peace.
1007
00:59:19,184 --> 00:59:20,352
Yes, Montana?
1008
00:59:20,894 --> 00:59:23,772
I'd like to parley
a notion myself, if I could, June.
1009
00:59:23,897 --> 00:59:25,065
Um...
1010
00:59:26,024 --> 00:59:27,150
Okay.
1011
00:59:33,073 --> 00:59:34,783
I figure this here alien come from a tribe
1012
00:59:34,908 --> 00:59:36,702
we don't know nothing 'bout, do we?
1013
00:59:36,827 --> 00:59:39,413
Anything we say'd
just be pure speculation.
1014
00:59:39,538 --> 00:59:41,373
But I tell you what I reckon.
1015
00:59:41,999 --> 00:59:44,960
I reckon that alien
don't mean no harm at all.
1016
00:59:45,085 --> 00:59:46,795
I reckon he just took hisself down here
1017
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:49,631
to have a look-see at the land
and the peoples on it.
1018
00:59:49,756 --> 00:59:51,675
In the spirit of exploration.
1019
00:59:52,217 --> 00:59:55,429
See, I don't look on
a feller alien all suspicious-like.
1020
00:59:55,929 --> 00:59:57,431
No, he ain't American.
1021
00:59:57,556 --> 00:59:59,850
No, he ain't a creature
of God's green Earth.
1022
00:59:59,975 --> 01:00:03,395
But he's a creature
of somewheres, and so are we.
1023
01:00:04,062 --> 01:00:07,524
Now, let's show the old feller
some hospitality,
1024
01:00:07,649 --> 01:00:09,735
and if he turns out to be a dirty dog,
1025
01:00:09,860 --> 01:00:11,320
which I reckon he ain't,
1026
01:00:11,403 --> 01:00:13,864
well, that'll be a job
for the United States armed forces,
1027
01:00:13,989 --> 01:00:15,824
and they ain't never lost a war yet.
1028
01:00:18,327 --> 01:00:19,703
Thanky-do.
1029
01:00:21,872 --> 01:00:23,498
I agree with Montana.
1030
01:00:23,916 --> 01:00:26,251
Now, Neptune.
1031
01:00:30,589 --> 01:00:33,175
Tell me, where do they go?
1032
01:00:35,302 --> 01:00:36,762
The smoke rings...
1033
01:00:36,887 --> 01:00:38,597
Which way did he go?
1034
01:00:38,722 --> 01:00:41,975
Hmm. Well, I think he went from here
1035
01:00:42,100 --> 01:00:45,437
to here to here to...
1036
01:00:46,396 --> 01:00:47,439
I don't know where.
1037
01:00:47,523 --> 01:00:48,732
My mother couldn't remember
which was which,
1038
01:00:48,857 --> 01:00:50,609
so she made up her own constellations.
1039
01:00:51,235 --> 01:00:53,362
That one's the Coat Hanger.
That one's the Leaky Faucet.
1040
01:00:53,487 --> 01:00:55,113
Over there's Fried Egg with Spatula.
1041
01:00:55,197 --> 01:00:58,033
My mother is a constellation,
or-or at least part of one.
1042
01:00:58,158 --> 01:01:00,285
A Swiss scientist named
a hypothetical star after her.
1043
01:01:00,410 --> 01:01:01,537
Really? What's it called?
1044
01:01:01,662 --> 01:01:03,080
Midge Campbell X-9 Major.
1045
01:01:03,205 --> 01:01:04,873
Midge Campbell X-9...
I'm gonna look it up.
1046
01:01:04,998 --> 01:01:07,084
Is she interested
in astronomy, your mother?
1047
01:01:07,209 --> 01:01:09,253
Not exactly. She's interested in stardom.
1048
01:01:09,461 --> 01:01:10,963
I don't mean that
as a criticism, by the way.
1049
01:01:11,088 --> 01:01:12,464
It's her job to be famous.
1050
01:01:12,798 --> 01:01:15,217
Anyway, I'm sick of her face,
but I love her voice.
1051
01:01:15,717 --> 01:01:16,927
She should do more radio.
1052
01:01:18,095 --> 01:01:19,304
I never had children.
1053
01:01:19,429 --> 01:01:22,349
Sometimes I wonder if I wish I should've.
1054
01:01:22,474 --> 01:01:24,852
I discovered
a hypothetical star myself, by the way.
1055
01:01:24,977 --> 01:01:26,353
- Ooh. Where is it?
- Which one?
1056
01:01:26,436 --> 01:01:29,314
Right there. Partly blocked
by that burnt-out light bulb.
1057
01:01:38,991 --> 01:01:41,535
Uh...
1058
01:01:41,660 --> 01:01:43,579
- What happened?
- I don't know.
1059
01:01:53,255 --> 01:01:55,048
- Oh.
- Uh...
1060
01:01:56,258 --> 01:01:57,426
After you.
1061
01:02:05,767 --> 01:02:08,103
Sometimes I think I'd feel more at home
1062
01:02:08,228 --> 01:02:10,105
outside the Earth's atmosphere.
1063
01:02:13,942 --> 01:02:15,152
Oh, wow.
1064
01:02:15,527 --> 01:02:16,820
Me, too.
1065
01:02:23,368 --> 01:02:24,745
Did it come out?
1066
01:02:24,870 --> 01:02:28,290
Some people say a man...
1067
01:02:28,373 --> 01:02:30,125
- I mean the other one.
- Oh.
1068
01:02:30,375 --> 01:02:33,462
A poor man's made out of muscle and blood
1069
01:02:33,670 --> 01:02:36,340
Muscle and blood and skin and bones
1070
01:02:36,465 --> 01:02:40,010
A mind that's weak
And a back that's strong...
1071
01:02:41,094 --> 01:02:42,429
Okay.
1072
01:02:43,514 --> 01:02:45,849
Another day older and deeper in debt
1073
01:02:45,974 --> 01:02:49,394
Saint Peter, don't you call me
'Cause I can't go
1074
01:02:49,478 --> 01:02:50,479
You feel different?
1075
01:02:50,687 --> 01:02:53,440
I owe my soul to the company store...
1076
01:02:53,607 --> 01:02:55,609
Hey. You feel different?
1077
01:02:56,818 --> 01:02:58,570
I don't feel anything at all.
1078
01:02:59,279 --> 01:03:01,365
- Me, neither.
- Hmm.
1079
01:03:03,700 --> 01:03:05,202
I'm not a good mother.
1080
01:03:05,536 --> 01:03:06,703
Uh-huh.
1081
01:03:06,828 --> 01:03:08,580
I love my daughter,
but I'm not a good mother
1082
01:03:08,705 --> 01:03:10,707
because, unfortunately for her,
she's not my first priority.
1083
01:03:11,416 --> 01:03:13,544
On account of there's always already
the thing I plan to do next.
1084
01:03:13,710 --> 01:03:16,004
I love my daughter, by the way. I-I...
1085
01:03:16,171 --> 01:03:17,840
I love all my children.
1086
01:03:17,965 --> 01:03:20,384
We have a magical time
when we're together.
1087
01:03:20,509 --> 01:03:22,219
I have another girl and a boy.
1088
01:03:22,344 --> 01:03:24,221
They live with
my second ex-husband in Utah.
1089
01:03:24,346 --> 01:03:26,348
- Uh-huh.
- He rarely sees them, either.
1090
01:03:26,473 --> 01:03:28,559
- Mmm-hmm.
- I wish I felt guilty at least,
1091
01:03:28,684 --> 01:03:30,853
but I don't experience that emotion,
1092
01:03:30,936 --> 01:03:32,229
if I understand it correctly.
1093
01:03:32,312 --> 01:03:33,564
- Yes.
- I've played it, of course.
1094
01:03:33,689 --> 01:03:35,357
So you're saying you never
feel guilty in real life?
1095
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:36,441
Not to my knowledge.
1096
01:03:36,775 --> 01:03:38,861
I think because of my history
with violent men.
1097
01:03:39,194 --> 01:03:43,490
Starting with my father,
brother and uncles.
1098
01:03:44,116 --> 01:03:46,827
There's always
already the thing I plan to do next, too.
1099
01:03:47,619 --> 01:03:48,912
Usually, it's a war.
1100
01:03:49,037 --> 01:03:50,998
Nobody can compete with that, can they?
1101
01:03:51,373 --> 01:03:52,791
Probably not.
1102
01:03:53,292 --> 01:03:55,627
I did a USO tour once. It was thrilling.
1103
01:03:57,254 --> 01:04:00,382
I owe my soul to the company store...
1104
01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:04,761
- I think I see how I see us.
- Hmm?
1105
01:04:04,887 --> 01:04:07,639
I mean, I think I know now
what I realize we are.
1106
01:04:07,764 --> 01:04:08,932
Okay.
1107
01:04:09,057 --> 01:04:10,601
Two catastrophically wounded people
1108
01:04:10,684 --> 01:04:12,728
who don't express the depths
of their pain because
1109
01:04:13,562 --> 01:04:14,855
we don't want to.
1110
01:04:14,980 --> 01:04:16,273
That's our connection.
1111
01:04:16,481 --> 01:04:17,774
Do you agree?
1112
01:04:20,235 --> 01:04:21,653
Uh-huh.
1113
01:04:23,447 --> 01:04:24,865
Let's, um...
1114
01:04:25,741 --> 01:04:27,409
Let's change the subject, shall we?
1115
01:04:29,328 --> 01:04:30,579
It's open.
1116
01:04:33,957 --> 01:04:35,959
- Hello?
- In here.
1117
01:04:39,922 --> 01:04:41,548
Hello? Hello.
1118
01:04:41,632 --> 01:04:43,133
I'm just your neighbor, Stanley Zak.
1119
01:04:43,217 --> 01:04:44,760
I wanted to make sure
you and your daughter
1120
01:04:44,885 --> 01:04:46,720
have everything
you might need at the moment.
1121
01:04:46,845 --> 01:04:48,305
Thank you. I think so.
1122
01:04:48,430 --> 01:04:50,599
What a strange experience
this is, isn't it?
1123
01:04:50,724 --> 01:04:53,018
I went to law school
with your former agent, by the way.
1124
01:04:53,185 --> 01:04:54,811
- Mort?
- Mort. Yes, Mort.
1125
01:04:54,895 --> 01:04:56,021
Oh.
1126
01:04:57,523 --> 01:04:58,941
That came out.
1127
01:04:59,316 --> 01:05:01,401
Yeah, it came out.
All my pictures come out.
1128
01:05:03,612 --> 01:05:07,699
Anyway, as I say,
we're just across the driveway,
1129
01:05:07,824 --> 01:05:10,452
as my son-in-law seems
to have established.
1130
01:05:10,577 --> 01:05:12,788
Send my best wishes
to Mort and his family.
1131
01:05:12,913 --> 01:05:15,832
I will, if and when we're permitted
contact with the outside world,
1132
01:05:15,958 --> 01:05:18,085
though I don't speak to him,
to tell you the truth.
1133
01:05:19,711 --> 01:05:21,547
I love your hairdo like that.
1134
01:05:21,922 --> 01:05:23,382
Ugh, Christ.
1135
01:05:26,176 --> 01:05:27,845
You see
that wonderful crackly-patch
1136
01:05:27,970 --> 01:05:30,764
right out there between the dead cactuses
and the dried-up riverbed?
1137
01:05:30,889 --> 01:05:32,266
- I think so.
- That's your parcel.
1138
01:05:32,391 --> 01:05:33,934
How much of it do I own?
1139
01:05:34,059 --> 01:05:36,979
Well, it's actually an interesting
financial mechanism.
1140
01:05:37,104 --> 01:05:39,356
You don't technically
own anything outright.
1141
01:05:39,481 --> 01:05:42,025
You own stock in the town
in the form of a loan
1142
01:05:42,150 --> 01:05:43,402
with a 50-year maturity rate.
1143
01:05:43,527 --> 01:05:44,611
Then, at the end, the loan is forgiven.
1144
01:05:44,736 --> 01:05:45,988
- You dare me?
- How about water?
1145
01:05:46,113 --> 01:05:47,447
Of course. I understand.
1146
01:05:47,573 --> 01:05:49,283
There isn't any.
This is a desert opportunity.
1147
01:05:49,408 --> 01:05:50,742
- You dare me?
- I heard you.
1148
01:05:50,868 --> 01:05:52,411
- It's an experiment.
- I don't care anymore.
1149
01:05:52,536 --> 01:05:54,496
I dare you or I don't dare you.
It doesn't matter.
1150
01:05:54,621 --> 01:05:56,206
Do what you wish. I give up.
1151
01:06:05,841 --> 01:06:07,593
What's the cause?
1152
01:06:07,718 --> 01:06:09,178
What's the meaning?
1153
01:06:09,386 --> 01:06:11,305
Why do you always have to dare something?
1154
01:06:16,143 --> 01:06:17,269
I don't know.
1155
01:06:19,104 --> 01:06:22,191
Maybe it's because I'm afraid,
1156
01:06:22,733 --> 01:06:25,485
otherwise, nobody'll
1157
01:06:26,820 --> 01:06:31,158
notice my existence
1158
01:06:32,451 --> 01:06:34,161
in the universe.
1159
01:06:44,796 --> 01:06:45,881
Dare you what?
1160
01:06:46,256 --> 01:06:47,841
Yes, dare you what?
1161
01:06:49,009 --> 01:06:50,677
To climb that cactus out there.
1162
01:06:50,802 --> 01:06:52,262
- Lord, no. No.
- Please don't.
1163
01:06:55,265 --> 01:06:56,308
Hello.
1164
01:06:56,892 --> 01:06:58,644
Hello. Hello.
1165
01:06:58,769 --> 01:07:00,896
We met before.
I'm the mother of that Cookie Trooper
1166
01:07:01,021 --> 01:07:02,773
- who idolizes you.
- I know.
1167
01:07:02,898 --> 01:07:05,275
Thought you might not
recognize me out of uniform.
1168
01:07:05,817 --> 01:07:07,361
You were very good in the one
1169
01:07:07,486 --> 01:07:09,196
about the tramp
in the brothel who gets amnesia
1170
01:07:09,321 --> 01:07:10,822
- and becomes a pediatrician.
- Thank you. Thank you.
1171
01:07:10,948 --> 01:07:12,324
- You were very authentic.
- That's actually maybe
1172
01:07:12,449 --> 01:07:13,742
my favorite character I've ever played.
1173
01:07:13,867 --> 01:07:17,079
- I don't know why nobody else liked it.
- Oh. Yes. Me, neither.
1174
01:07:17,204 --> 01:07:18,830
Thank you. Some people liked it.
1175
01:07:18,956 --> 01:07:20,707
Oh, I'm sure. I did.
1176
01:07:20,832 --> 01:07:22,125
Who hit you?
1177
01:07:26,588 --> 01:07:28,799
Am I not in this?
1178
01:07:31,552 --> 01:07:33,387
Excuse me. I'm not in this.
1179
01:07:33,512 --> 01:07:35,097
Um, who hit you?
1180
01:07:35,222 --> 01:07:37,224
- It's on the other eye.
- It's greasepaint.
1181
01:07:37,349 --> 01:07:38,809
Some people did... Do like it.
1182
01:07:38,934 --> 01:07:40,435
Oh, I'm sure.
1183
01:07:40,519 --> 01:07:43,146
I thought it might have
been your second ex-husband in Utah.
1184
01:07:56,159 --> 01:07:58,161
If I sleep on a cot
instead of the sofa bed,
1185
01:07:58,245 --> 01:07:59,329
that might leave room for me to set up
1186
01:07:59,413 --> 01:08:00,956
a darkroom in the pool house.
1187
01:08:01,081 --> 01:08:02,374
Is that possible as a compromise?
1188
01:08:02,499 --> 01:08:03,834
It depends on the measurements.
1189
01:08:03,917 --> 01:08:05,919
- It's not that big.
- I can actually carpool the girls
1190
01:08:06,003 --> 01:08:07,754
to school by golf cart, you know.
1191
01:08:07,880 --> 01:08:09,298
If I cut across the 14th tee.
1192
01:08:09,423 --> 01:08:10,841
Oh, it's that close
to the elementary?
1193
01:08:10,966 --> 01:08:12,718
How can you two
even think about this?
1194
01:08:12,843 --> 01:08:15,095
The world will never be the same.
1195
01:08:15,387 --> 01:08:17,346
What happens next? Nobody knows.
1196
01:08:17,471 --> 01:08:19,265
Will he visit us again?
Will he speak to us?
1197
01:08:19,390 --> 01:08:21,393
What will he say?
Why did he steal our asteroid?
1198
01:08:21,518 --> 01:08:23,687
Was it ours in the first place?
Does he like us?
1199
01:08:23,812 --> 01:08:25,397
- Nobody knows.
- That's true.
1200
01:08:25,522 --> 01:08:27,983
What's out there? Something.
1201
01:08:28,358 --> 01:08:30,484
The meaning of life. Maybe there is one.
1202
01:08:30,569 --> 01:08:32,487
I hope you're still Episcopalian.
1203
01:08:33,363 --> 01:08:35,240
You took his picture, Dad.
1204
01:08:39,661 --> 01:08:41,121
I'm a photographer.
1205
01:08:45,876 --> 01:08:47,461
Episcopalian?
1206
01:08:56,345 --> 01:08:57,845
You really want us, Stanley?
1207
01:08:57,970 --> 01:08:59,932
No, but you need me.
1208
01:09:00,890 --> 01:09:02,434
She did love me, you know.
1209
01:09:02,559 --> 01:09:03,852
Who says she didn't?
1210
01:09:04,310 --> 01:09:06,270
I've been on my own
for 12 years, after all.
1211
01:09:06,395 --> 01:09:08,857
And remember,
my wife drank herself to death.
1212
01:09:08,982 --> 01:09:11,401
"Drank herself to..."
I don't know what that means.
1213
01:09:12,611 --> 01:09:15,781
In my loneliness,
or perhaps because of it,
1214
01:09:15,906 --> 01:09:18,075
I've learned not to judge people,
1215
01:09:18,200 --> 01:09:21,161
to take people as I find them,
not as others find them,
1216
01:09:21,662 --> 01:09:23,580
and most of all, to give complete
1217
01:09:23,705 --> 01:09:26,667
and unquestioning faith
to the people I love.
1218
01:09:26,792 --> 01:09:28,752
I don't know if that includes you,
1219
01:09:29,294 --> 01:09:32,256
but it included my daughter
and your four children,
1220
01:09:32,840 --> 01:09:34,341
so you're welcome to stay with me
1221
01:09:34,466 --> 01:09:36,801
for as long as you wish,
whether I like it or not.
1222
01:09:36,926 --> 01:09:38,511
Which I don't, by the way.
1223
01:09:42,432 --> 01:09:44,059
Stop helping us.
1224
01:09:44,350 --> 01:09:45,978
We're in grief.
1225
01:09:49,689 --> 01:09:51,066
Me, too.
1226
01:10:04,580 --> 01:10:06,081
Are you planning to abandon us?
1227
01:10:07,332 --> 01:10:10,627
Uh...
1228
01:10:10,836 --> 01:10:13,422
I was, as a temporary measure.
1229
01:10:13,505 --> 01:10:14,798
- What?
- But I decided against it.
1230
01:10:14,923 --> 01:10:17,009
- I knew it. I sensed it.
- I didn't.
1231
01:10:17,092 --> 01:10:18,886
I'm not the wet nurse.
I'm their grandfather.
1232
01:10:18,969 --> 01:10:20,470
I would've hired
a babysitter in addition to you.
1233
01:10:20,804 --> 01:10:23,807
I'm not planning to abandon you anymore,
even as a temporary measure,
1234
01:10:23,932 --> 01:10:25,726
which is all it ever would've been.
1235
01:10:27,811 --> 01:10:29,688
I forgive you for considering it.
1236
01:10:56,465 --> 01:10:58,717
Evening, soldier.
1237
01:10:59,259 --> 01:11:02,054
Can I ask you to stick this dime
in the pay phone for me, please?
1238
01:11:02,554 --> 01:11:05,182
All public telephone service
has been suspended until further notice.
1239
01:11:05,390 --> 01:11:08,227
I know it. The thing is,
right before the hubbub yesterday,
1240
01:11:08,352 --> 01:11:10,187
I made a trunk call
to my cousin long-distance,
1241
01:11:10,312 --> 01:11:11,939
and the operator let me owe the surcharge
1242
01:11:12,064 --> 01:11:13,815
because all I had was three pennies.
1243
01:11:13,941 --> 01:11:16,735
I don't feel right stealing
from the telephone company.
1244
01:11:48,642 --> 01:11:50,018
Although it might convey
a different meaning
1245
01:11:50,143 --> 01:11:51,687
- on his planet.
- It's true.
1246
01:11:51,770 --> 01:11:53,230
If he even has a planet, by the way.
1247
01:11:53,355 --> 01:11:54,565
- He might be nomadic.
- Hmm.
1248
01:11:54,690 --> 01:11:56,942
Operator? Kismet-9770.
1249
01:11:57,025 --> 01:11:58,235
- Station to station.
- Stay on the line.
1250
01:11:58,360 --> 01:11:59,570
Thank you.
1251
01:12:04,157 --> 01:12:05,284
Hello? Who's calling?
1252
01:12:05,409 --> 01:12:07,411
Good evening, Mrs. Weatherford.
It's Ricky Cho.
1253
01:12:07,536 --> 01:12:09,413
- May I have a word with...
- Ricky, it's after 9:00.
1254
01:12:09,538 --> 01:12:10,873
He's already drinking his Ovaltine.
1255
01:12:10,998 --> 01:12:12,249
Can't this wait until tomorrow?
1256
01:12:12,374 --> 01:12:13,876
I'm afraid not, Mrs. Weatherford.
1257
01:12:14,001 --> 01:12:15,502
I-I wouldn't disturb you if it weren't
1258
01:12:15,627 --> 01:12:17,671
of the utmost importance
to the Weekly Bobcat.
1259
01:12:17,796 --> 01:12:20,048
I just need a minute of his time.
1260
01:12:20,174 --> 01:12:21,758
All right, Ricky. Hold the line.
1261
01:12:22,176 --> 01:12:23,594
Some kind of romance
between the two of you?
1262
01:12:23,719 --> 01:12:25,137
- Skip, Ricky Cho!
- What? Who?
1263
01:12:25,262 --> 01:12:26,513
- Who? You.
- Who?
1264
01:12:26,638 --> 01:12:27,848
- You know who.
- Us?
1265
01:12:27,973 --> 01:12:29,224
We only met yesterday.
1266
01:12:29,349 --> 01:12:30,475
I feel she doesn't like me in that way.
1267
01:12:30,559 --> 01:12:33,270
Uh-huh. Well, I think you're pretty smart,
but I think you're pretty dumb.
1268
01:12:33,395 --> 01:12:34,521
- Hello?
- Shh, shh. Hold it.
1269
01:12:34,646 --> 01:12:36,565
Skip? Ricky. We got a scoop.
1270
01:12:45,699 --> 01:12:48,785
The first hints of the future
existence of Asteroid City
1271
01:12:48,911 --> 01:12:50,954
were revealed during a special seminar
1272
01:12:51,038 --> 01:12:53,165
scheduled at the playwright's request.
1273
01:12:53,290 --> 01:12:55,626
Conrad Earp, how can we help you?
1274
01:12:55,751 --> 01:12:57,836
Well, the thing is, Saltzie,
I'd like to make a scene
1275
01:12:57,961 --> 01:13:01,048
where all my characters are each gently,
privately seduced
1276
01:13:01,173 --> 01:13:03,800
into the deepest,
dreamiest slumber of their lives
1277
01:13:03,884 --> 01:13:05,511
as a result of their shared experience
1278
01:13:05,636 --> 01:13:08,347
of a bewildering
and bedazzling celestial mystery.
1279
01:13:08,472 --> 01:13:10,933
- A sleeping scene.
- A scene of sleep.
1280
01:13:11,058 --> 01:13:12,434
But I don't know how to write it.
1281
01:13:12,559 --> 01:13:14,603
- Yet.
- Yet.
1282
01:13:14,728 --> 01:13:16,355
I thought, perhaps, if you
1283
01:13:16,480 --> 01:13:19,441
and your wonderfully talented
pupils just improvise,
1284
01:13:19,566 --> 01:13:21,652
something might reveal itself.
1285
01:13:21,777 --> 01:13:23,862
Who wasn't going to be famous?
1286
01:13:23,987 --> 01:13:27,741
On any given day,
roll call in Saltzburg Keitel's classroom
1287
01:13:27,866 --> 01:13:31,745
was a now-dazzling list
of undiscovered luminaries...
1288
01:13:31,870 --> 01:13:33,497
Linus Mao.
1289
01:13:33,622 --> 01:13:35,249
Lucretia Shaver.
1290
01:13:35,374 --> 01:13:37,084
Walter Geronimo.
1291
01:13:37,209 --> 01:13:38,585
Asquith Eden.
1292
01:13:38,710 --> 01:13:40,295
Mercedes Ford.
1293
01:13:40,420 --> 01:13:43,173
Even, unofficially, Jones Hall.
1294
01:13:44,383 --> 01:13:46,301
What's it about, the play?
1295
01:13:46,510 --> 01:13:50,138
Mmm, infinity, and I don't know what else.
1296
01:13:50,514 --> 01:13:51,765
Is there a title?
1297
01:13:51,890 --> 01:13:55,477
I'm torn. Maybe The Cosmic Wilderness.
1298
01:13:55,602 --> 01:13:56,854
Do you like that one?
1299
01:13:56,979 --> 01:13:58,397
- Mmm, not really.
- Uh-uh.
1300
01:13:58,522 --> 01:14:01,316
What's the alternative? Title, I mean.
1301
01:14:01,441 --> 01:14:04,278
Well, it's the name of the small town
on the California/Nevada/Arizona desert
1302
01:14:04,403 --> 01:14:05,863
where the story takes place.
1303
01:14:06,029 --> 01:14:10,200
Okay. Who here
has ever actually fallen asleep onstage
1304
01:14:10,284 --> 01:14:13,036
during a live performance
in front of a paying audience?
1305
01:14:13,328 --> 01:14:15,080
Me.
1306
01:14:15,205 --> 01:14:17,583
I spent the first three-quarters
of Act Two of The Welterweight
1307
01:14:17,708 --> 01:14:19,459
on a massage table with no lines
1308
01:14:19,543 --> 01:14:21,461
till the last minute and a half.
1309
01:14:21,587 --> 01:14:23,922
One night, I nodded off.
1310
01:14:24,047 --> 01:14:26,216
- On purpose, you did this?
- No.
1311
01:14:26,425 --> 01:14:28,927
- Did you miss your cue?
- Almost.
1312
01:14:29,052 --> 01:14:31,763
I heard it, and I woke up very scared,
1313
01:14:31,847 --> 01:14:33,056
but I knew my lines.
1314
01:14:33,182 --> 01:14:34,683
- Good morning, Schubert.
- Good morning, Saltzie.
1315
01:14:34,808 --> 01:14:37,769
What brings you here today?
We haven't seen you in six weeks.
1316
01:14:37,895 --> 01:14:39,897
Lavender and Lemons opened last night
1317
01:14:40,022 --> 01:14:42,733
to very good, uh...
I might say raves, by the way.
1318
01:14:42,858 --> 01:14:44,276
I'm available.
1319
01:14:46,069 --> 01:14:48,197
What did he teach? Example.
1320
01:14:48,322 --> 01:14:50,240
Sleep, it's not death.
1321
01:14:50,365 --> 01:14:52,326
The body keeps busy, breathing air,
1322
01:14:52,451 --> 01:14:53,952
pumping blood, thinking.
1323
01:14:54,203 --> 01:14:56,288
Maybe you pay a visit to your dead mother.
1324
01:14:56,413 --> 01:14:59,208
Maybe you go to bed
with your ex-wife or husband.
1325
01:14:59,333 --> 01:15:00,876
Maybe you climb the Matterhorn.
1326
01:15:01,001 --> 01:15:02,920
Connie, you wake up with a new scene
1327
01:15:03,045 --> 01:15:05,047
three-quarters written
in your head already.
1328
01:15:05,172 --> 01:15:07,674
Schubert, you wake up with a hangover.
1329
01:15:07,799 --> 01:15:09,384
Important things happen.
1330
01:15:09,510 --> 01:15:11,470
Is there something to play? I think so.
1331
01:15:11,595 --> 01:15:14,181
Let's work on the scene
from the outside in.
1332
01:15:14,306 --> 01:15:15,599
Be inert.
1333
01:15:15,724 --> 01:15:16,975
Then dream.
1334
01:15:21,021 --> 01:15:22,689
Where are we, Connie? And when?
1335
01:15:22,814 --> 01:15:23,899
Talk to us.
1336
01:15:24,024 --> 01:15:25,359
Yes. All right.
1337
01:15:25,484 --> 01:15:26,902
One week later.
1338
01:15:27,027 --> 01:15:28,862
Our cast of characters' already tenuous
1339
01:15:28,987 --> 01:15:31,740
grasp of reality has further
slipped in quarantine,
1340
01:15:31,865 --> 01:15:33,784
and the group begins to occupy a space
1341
01:15:33,909 --> 01:15:36,078
of the most peculiar emotional dimensions.
1342
01:15:36,203 --> 01:15:40,082
Meanwhile, the information blockade
spearheaded by General Grif Gibson
1343
01:15:40,207 --> 01:15:41,959
has been, it appears,
1344
01:15:42,626 --> 01:15:43,919
incomplete.
1345
01:16:17,661 --> 01:16:19,997
Extra! Extra! Late edition!
1346
01:16:20,122 --> 01:16:21,665
Extra! Extra!
1347
01:16:21,790 --> 01:16:23,417
Late edition!
1348
01:16:28,505 --> 01:16:31,133
I hope you're aware,
you and your accomplices may still face
1349
01:16:31,258 --> 01:16:33,552
felony prosecution,
possibly even a treason charge.
1350
01:16:33,802 --> 01:16:35,888
I'll fight it all the way
to the Supreme Court,
1351
01:16:36,013 --> 01:16:38,182
if necessary, and win.
1352
01:16:38,307 --> 01:16:40,517
This just in, from the president.
1353
01:16:41,935 --> 01:16:43,812
He's furious. Thanks a lot, Ricky.
1354
01:16:43,896 --> 01:16:45,397
I don't know what to say, General Gibson.
1355
01:16:45,522 --> 01:16:47,232
- I'm sorry.
- Don't apologize, Dad.
1356
01:16:47,357 --> 01:16:49,026
The public has a right to the truth.
1357
01:16:49,151 --> 01:16:51,361
- You made your point.
- This tribunal is a mockery!
1358
01:16:51,486 --> 01:16:53,071
What about Steenbeck,
who took the photograph?
1359
01:16:53,197 --> 01:16:55,032
It's on the front page
of every newspaper on the planet.
1360
01:16:55,157 --> 01:16:57,618
- Can't we arrest him, as well?
- Unfortunately, no.
1361
01:16:57,701 --> 01:16:59,036
He dropped a print in the mail
1362
01:16:59,161 --> 01:17:00,704
to his photo agency
first thing Tuesday morning,
1363
01:17:00,829 --> 01:17:03,040
and the postman got it before we did.
He's innocent.
1364
01:17:03,165 --> 01:17:05,000
Supposedly, he did a nude
of Midge Campbell, too.
1365
01:17:05,125 --> 01:17:07,044
- Midge Campbell?
- Ooh, Midge Campbell.
1366
01:17:08,670 --> 01:17:10,339
As you know,
boys and girls, your parents arrived
1367
01:17:10,464 --> 01:17:12,257
late last night by military helicopter.
1368
01:17:12,341 --> 01:17:13,675
They've been sequestered
in that metal hut over there
1369
01:17:13,759 --> 01:17:15,302
for the past several hours
while the government scientists
1370
01:17:15,469 --> 01:17:16,803
explain the situation to them,
1371
01:17:16,887 --> 01:17:18,514
although everything's
already in the newspapers.
1372
01:17:18,597 --> 01:17:20,140
It's my understanding
they're about to go onto
1373
01:17:20,265 --> 01:17:21,892
this closed-circuit
television set at any moment.
1374
01:17:21,975 --> 01:17:23,894
Everything's connected,
but nothing's working.
1375
01:17:24,436 --> 01:17:27,189
Let's carry on with
the lesson plan, then. Billy?
1376
01:17:27,314 --> 01:17:28,899
I did the alien's flying saucer
1377
01:17:29,024 --> 01:17:31,235
with a hubcap and a chicken pot pie tin.
1378
01:17:31,735 --> 01:17:33,779
Good work. Very accurate.
1379
01:17:33,904 --> 01:17:36,740
Jupiter, fifth planet from the sun,
largest in our solar system...
1380
01:17:36,865 --> 01:17:38,116
Yes, Bernice?
1381
01:17:38,242 --> 01:17:40,285
I did the alien on his home planet.
1382
01:17:41,620 --> 01:17:43,789
Well done. How wonderful.
1383
01:17:44,373 --> 01:17:46,333
Due to extreme atmospheric conditions,
1384
01:17:46,416 --> 01:17:49,169
an anticyclonic storm
has raged on Jupiter's surface for over—
1385
01:17:49,294 --> 01:17:50,379
Yes, Dwight?
1386
01:17:50,587 --> 01:17:52,130
I wrote a song about him.
1387
01:17:52,673 --> 01:17:56,426
Oh. Um, this may not
be the time for a musical performance.
1388
01:17:56,552 --> 01:17:57,886
Let's...
1389
01:17:58,011 --> 01:17:59,513
Uh, yes, Montana?
1390
01:17:59,638 --> 01:18:00,889
Pardon the interruption, June.
1391
01:18:01,014 --> 01:18:02,266
The boys and I heard old Dwight
1392
01:18:02,391 --> 01:18:05,269
was scribbling up a little warble,
so we learned ourselves to play it.
1393
01:18:11,900 --> 01:18:14,611
One, two, three.
1394
01:18:14,736 --> 01:18:16,613
Howdly-dee...
1395
01:18:17,364 --> 01:18:19,408
--Howdly-dee...
1396
01:18:44,600 --> 01:18:47,561
- Howdly-dee, howdly-dee
1397
01:18:47,686 --> 01:18:51,356
Howdly-dee
Howdly-dee
1398
01:18:51,481 --> 01:18:54,735
Howdly-dee, howdly-dee
1399
01:18:54,860 --> 01:18:58,447
- Howdly-dee, howdly-dee
- Come on, y'all!
1400
01:18:58,572 --> 01:19:00,407
Hop on one foot, skip on two
1401
01:19:00,532 --> 01:19:02,284
Dance the Spaceman
Howdly-do
1402
01:19:02,409 --> 01:19:04,119
Bounce on four foot
Spring on three
1403
01:19:04,244 --> 01:19:05,662
Let's be spacemen
Howdly-dee
1404
01:19:05,787 --> 01:19:09,541
Howdly-dee
Howdly-dee
1405
01:19:11,710 --> 01:19:14,713
This was on an old roll
I forgot to develop in the glove box.
1406
01:19:15,839 --> 01:19:17,716
"Self-Portrait with Shrapnel."
1407
01:19:25,015 --> 01:19:26,517
Do page 45.
1408
01:19:37,277 --> 01:19:38,987
"What have you done? How could you?"
1409
01:19:39,112 --> 01:19:40,405
- It says "shouting and crying."
- Uh-huh.
1410
01:19:40,531 --> 01:19:42,699
- So shout and cry.
- "How could you!"
1411
01:19:44,660 --> 01:19:46,078
"How couldn't I?"
1412
01:19:46,203 --> 01:19:47,496
"How couldn't you?"
1413
01:19:48,080 --> 01:19:49,164
"That's what I'm asking."
1414
01:19:49,248 --> 01:19:51,208
"It was over already. You were free.
1415
01:19:51,500 --> 01:19:55,295
"What's the point of committing suicide
when there's nothing left to escape?"
1416
01:19:56,713 --> 01:19:59,216
"Maybe that was the problem all along."
1417
01:19:59,424 --> 01:20:02,219
"Stares for a moment."
1418
01:20:02,344 --> 01:20:04,221
And then it says I smash
everything off the shelf.
1419
01:20:04,388 --> 01:20:05,764
So smash everything off the shelf.
1420
01:20:10,143 --> 01:20:11,854
"Such a sickening waste.
1421
01:20:11,979 --> 01:20:14,690
"Think of the people. Think of the places.
1422
01:20:14,815 --> 01:20:16,817
- "Think of the world..."
- Use your grief.
1423
01:20:17,526 --> 01:20:19,778
For a rehearsal?
I'm not even in this picture.
1424
01:20:19,903 --> 01:20:21,613
I'm a war photographer.
1425
01:20:21,738 --> 01:20:23,073
Use your grief.
1426
01:20:24,616 --> 01:20:25,909
All right.
1427
01:20:29,621 --> 01:20:31,415
"Such a sickening waste.
1428
01:20:33,667 --> 01:20:37,254
"Think of the people. Think of the places.
1429
01:20:37,629 --> 01:20:40,340
"Think of the world
you could have seen, Dolores."
1430
01:20:42,593 --> 01:20:44,094
"I've already seen it."
1431
01:20:45,345 --> 01:20:48,140
She still is... uh, is-is she a ghost?
1432
01:20:51,435 --> 01:20:52,895
It's not clear.
1433
01:20:53,812 --> 01:20:55,022
Uh...
1434
01:20:55,147 --> 01:20:56,773
Then the, uh... The...
1435
01:20:57,941 --> 01:20:59,902
Then the coroner comes in,
orders me out of the room.
1436
01:21:00,027 --> 01:21:01,862
I slowly turn away and close the door.
1437
01:21:01,987 --> 01:21:03,030
Scene.
1438
01:21:03,113 --> 01:21:04,448
My sandwich is burning.
1439
01:21:20,297 --> 01:21:21,798
My daughter saw us.
1440
01:21:21,924 --> 01:21:23,133
What?
1441
01:21:23,217 --> 01:21:24,968
Oh, uh, Dinah saw us.
1442
01:21:25,093 --> 01:21:27,346
Through this window,
in your bedroom yesterday.
1443
01:21:36,647 --> 01:21:38,982
Did you, uh, tell her
we were rehearsing again?
1444
01:21:40,567 --> 01:21:42,653
I didn't think of that. I should've.
1445
01:21:42,778 --> 01:21:45,113
But it's too late,
because I admitted everything.
1446
01:21:46,823 --> 01:21:48,200
Did she tell Woodrow?
1447
01:21:49,576 --> 01:21:50,702
Hard to say.
1448
01:21:50,827 --> 01:21:52,287
She can keep a secret.
1449
01:21:52,412 --> 01:21:53,789
I don't know if she will.
1450
01:21:57,167 --> 01:21:59,586
This isn't the beginning
of something, Augie.
1451
01:22:00,462 --> 01:22:01,755
Isn't it?
1452
01:22:02,923 --> 01:22:04,174
Is it?
1453
01:22:04,883 --> 01:22:05,926
Probably not.
1454
01:22:06,093 --> 01:22:07,386
Unless maybe it is.
1455
01:22:07,886 --> 01:22:09,596
I don't like the way
that guy looked at us.
1456
01:22:09,680 --> 01:22:11,181
- What guy?
- The alien.
1457
01:22:11,557 --> 01:22:12,599
Oh. How did he...
1458
01:22:12,724 --> 01:22:14,351
- How did he look at us?
- Like we're doomed.
1459
01:22:17,312 --> 01:22:18,772
Maybe we are.
1460
01:22:25,112 --> 01:22:26,697
What did you just do?
1461
01:22:26,822 --> 01:22:28,240
I burned my hand on the Quicky-Griddle.
1462
01:22:28,365 --> 01:22:30,158
- Why?
- It's not clear.
1463
01:22:30,284 --> 01:22:31,618
Show me.
1464
01:22:33,078 --> 01:22:34,496
You really did it.
1465
01:22:35,038 --> 01:22:36,415
That actually happened.
1466
01:22:46,592 --> 01:22:47,885
Pull.
1467
01:22:54,558 --> 01:22:57,978
How long can they keep us
in Asteroid City? Legally, I mean.
1468
01:22:58,520 --> 01:23:01,064
Well, I'm not an attorney,
but I'd say as long as they like.
1469
01:23:01,190 --> 01:23:02,524
I think we'd have to file an injunction
1470
01:23:02,608 --> 01:23:04,735
and successfully argue the case.
Six months to a year?
1471
01:23:04,818 --> 01:23:07,362
Of course, we'd also need to initiate
a civil suit for loss of income.
1472
01:23:07,487 --> 01:23:09,156
Maybe we should just walk out right now.
1473
01:23:09,281 --> 01:23:12,034
I'm not sure they could stop us
without killing somebody.
1474
01:23:12,159 --> 01:23:13,785
Interesting idea.
1475
01:23:13,994 --> 01:23:16,288
What kind
of mileage you think that jet pack gets?
1476
01:23:16,413 --> 01:23:17,664
Ask Roger or his son.
1477
01:23:17,789 --> 01:23:20,751
Apparently, he's being prosecuted
for revealing state secrets.
1478
01:23:20,876 --> 01:23:22,628
- They'll never make it stick.
- I'm in no hurry.
1479
01:23:22,753 --> 01:23:24,671
I like the desert. I like aliens.
1480
01:23:24,796 --> 01:23:26,215
Pull.
1481
01:23:26,340 --> 01:23:27,716
How'd you get that back?
1482
01:23:27,841 --> 01:23:29,134
The projects remain under secure lockdown.
1483
01:23:29,259 --> 01:23:32,054
No Stargazer is permitted personal access
without the express permission...
1484
01:23:32,137 --> 01:23:33,347
My son invented this death ray.
1485
01:23:33,430 --> 01:23:34,640
That may be true, but my orders are...
1486
01:23:34,723 --> 01:23:36,099
- Step back.
- Easy, fellas.
1487
01:23:36,225 --> 01:23:37,851
- We're not in Guadalcanal anymore.
- Okay, okay, okay.
1488
01:23:37,976 --> 01:23:39,645
Everyone, please.
It's been a difficult quarantine.
1489
01:23:39,770 --> 01:23:41,313
- I'll zap you right now!
- You stole your projects!
1490
01:23:41,438 --> 01:23:42,731
Goddamn it, tell them to stand down!
1491
01:23:43,232 --> 01:23:44,233
Stand down! You hear that?
1492
01:23:44,316 --> 01:23:45,526
General Gibson says, "Stand down."
1493
01:23:45,651 --> 01:23:47,027
- You married?
- Of course.
1494
01:23:47,152 --> 01:23:49,029
We'll reconfiscate
the projects at a later time.
1495
01:23:49,154 --> 01:23:50,364
Probably after dinner.
1496
01:23:51,448 --> 01:23:52,616
Try it.
1497
01:23:55,369 --> 01:23:56,954
Tab Hunter, Doris Day, out,
1498
01:23:57,079 --> 01:23:58,997
Jack the Ripper, out,
Bing Crosby, Shirley Temple,
1499
01:23:59,122 --> 01:24:01,083
out, out, Orson Welles, Lucille Ball, out,
1500
01:24:01,208 --> 01:24:03,252
Marlon Brando, out,
Queen Elizabeth, Mickey Mantle,
1501
01:24:03,377 --> 01:24:04,962
out, out, Yul Brynner, Louis Armstrong,
1502
01:24:05,087 --> 01:24:07,464
out, Lana Turner, out,
Betty Grable, Ella Fitzgerald,
1503
01:24:07,589 --> 01:24:09,925
out, out, Rock Hudson, out,
Jerry Lewis, out, out,
1504
01:24:10,050 --> 01:24:12,094
Greta Garbo, Karl Marx, out,
Joan of Arc, out,
1505
01:24:12,219 --> 01:24:13,804
Charles Darwin, Walter Pidgeon, out,
1506
01:24:13,929 --> 01:24:15,806
Emily Dickinson, Galileo, out, out,
1507
01:24:15,931 --> 01:24:17,641
Pontius Pilate, out,
Ernest Hemingway, Jackie O...
1508
01:24:17,891 --> 01:24:19,643
Who's responsible
for stealing my radio telescope,
1509
01:24:19,768 --> 01:24:21,395
my signal processing receiver
1510
01:24:21,520 --> 01:24:23,605
and my entire spectrographical
monitoring network?
1511
01:24:25,566 --> 01:24:27,484
They're trying to contact the alien.
1512
01:24:27,609 --> 01:24:30,404
Well, I appreciate that,
but what about Dr. Hickenlooper?
1513
01:24:30,529 --> 01:24:33,323
If you're trying to contact
the alien, include me.
1514
01:24:33,615 --> 01:24:35,409
Did you hear anything from him so far?
1515
01:24:35,659 --> 01:24:37,035
- No.
- Huh.
1516
01:24:37,578 --> 01:24:39,037
What's all this?
1517
01:24:39,329 --> 01:24:41,456
I put the American flag
just to be patriotic.
1518
01:24:41,540 --> 01:24:43,041
Now we need to really mean something.
1519
01:24:43,166 --> 01:24:45,085
A universal message,
not only to earthlings.
1520
01:24:45,210 --> 01:24:47,129
We already thought of
everything we could think of...
1521
01:24:47,254 --> 01:24:50,507
a cross, a star, a four-leaf clover,
letters, numbers, hieroglyphics.
1522
01:24:50,632 --> 01:24:52,301
What's the point
of projecting a star onto the moon?
1523
01:24:52,426 --> 01:24:53,635
- Exactly.
- I ask that sincerely.
1524
01:24:53,760 --> 01:24:54,970
How about "E equals MC-squared"?
1525
01:24:55,095 --> 01:24:56,096
- I still think it's...
- They know that.
1526
01:24:56,180 --> 01:24:57,181
- It's too easy.
- This is our chance
1527
01:24:57,264 --> 01:24:59,766
to be actually worthwhile
in our lifetimes.
1528
01:24:59,850 --> 01:25:01,476
I see what you mean.
1529
01:25:01,602 --> 01:25:03,395
- Whose turn was it?
- Oh, the middle of mine.
1530
01:25:03,520 --> 01:25:05,147
I'd better start over.
1531
01:25:05,564 --> 01:25:06,899
- Cleopatra, Jagadish...
- A word, Woodrow.
1532
01:25:07,024 --> 01:25:09,443
About the, uh, settings
on the spectrograph.
1533
01:25:09,568 --> 01:25:11,028
Over here, if you wouldn't mind.
1534
01:25:11,153 --> 01:25:12,613
Kurt Gödel,
William Henry Bragg...
1535
01:25:12,738 --> 01:25:14,531
The, uh, warning label indicates
1536
01:25:14,656 --> 01:25:15,657
that the, uh...
1537
01:25:18,785 --> 01:25:21,288
It's all worthwhile in your lifetime.
1538
01:25:21,663 --> 01:25:23,290
- This, I mean.
- Okay.
1539
01:25:23,373 --> 01:25:25,125
Your curiosity is
your most important asset.
1540
01:25:25,209 --> 01:25:26,460
- Trust it.
- Okay.
1541
01:25:26,543 --> 01:25:27,794
- Trust your curiosity.
- Okay.
1542
01:25:27,878 --> 01:25:30,339
The resources of my lab
will always be available to you.
1543
01:25:30,422 --> 01:25:32,007
After this thing is over, I mean.
1544
01:25:32,132 --> 01:25:33,884
You could maybe
sort of be my protégé, if you like.
1545
01:25:34,009 --> 01:25:36,678
Oh, wow. Maybe we can prove
the hypothesis of celestial flirtation
1546
01:25:36,803 --> 01:25:37,930
and get the math right finally.
1547
01:25:38,055 --> 01:25:39,348
Wow. Let's try.
1548
01:25:39,765 --> 01:25:42,809
I think I see the dots from space
burned into your eyeballs.
1549
01:25:46,230 --> 01:25:47,564
I'm sorry about your mother.
1550
01:25:47,689 --> 01:25:50,067
I miss mine, too,
and she died 46 years ago.
1551
01:25:51,693 --> 01:25:52,986
Thank you.
1552
01:25:56,031 --> 01:25:57,616
I've already petitioned the State Assembly
1553
01:25:57,741 --> 01:25:59,785
to change
the name of the town from Asteroid City
1554
01:25:59,910 --> 01:26:01,495
to Alien Landing, U.S.A.
1555
01:26:01,620 --> 01:26:04,081
This municipality
might end up being the center
1556
01:26:04,206 --> 01:26:07,167
of a vast community
of Stargazers and Space Cadets.
1557
01:26:07,292 --> 01:26:10,087
It's a historic offering.
1558
01:26:16,009 --> 01:26:18,011
As you know,
the Asteroid Day itinerary
1559
01:26:18,095 --> 01:26:19,263
had to be suspended last week
1560
01:26:19,346 --> 01:26:21,890
due to the factual reality
of our circumstances.
1561
01:26:21,974 --> 01:26:23,809
However, I have an announcement to make.
1562
01:26:23,892 --> 01:26:27,229
Dr. Hickenlooper and the Military-Science
Research and Experimentation Division,
1563
01:26:27,312 --> 01:26:28,856
in conjunction with
the Larkings Foundation,
1564
01:26:28,981 --> 01:26:33,318
have officially selected a recipient
for this year's Hickenlooper Scholarship,
1565
01:26:34,152 --> 01:26:36,488
and you're all going home
first thing tomorrow morning.
1566
01:26:36,655 --> 01:26:40,158
The president has opted to lift
the quarantine by executive decree.
1567
01:26:42,995 --> 01:26:44,580
I'd like to take this opportunity,
1568
01:26:44,705 --> 01:26:46,582
and, by the way,
all of this year's projects,
1569
01:26:46,707 --> 01:26:50,335
setting aside my own
differences of opinion with Ricky Cho,
1570
01:26:50,419 --> 01:26:52,796
were of the very highest caliber,
without exception,
1571
01:26:52,921 --> 01:26:55,632
to officially declare, uh...
1572
01:26:55,757 --> 01:26:57,009
- What's happening now?
- Scholarship...
1573
01:26:57,134 --> 01:26:58,302
- What's happening now?
- I don't know.
1574
01:26:58,802 --> 01:26:59,887
It's today again.
1575
01:27:34,171 --> 01:27:35,464
It's been inventoried.
1576
01:27:40,552 --> 01:27:43,430
Under the provisions of National Security
Emergency Scrimmage Plan X,
1577
01:27:43,514 --> 01:27:45,057
the lifting of the quarantine,
which I just announced,
1578
01:27:45,182 --> 01:27:47,100
is now canceled or at least postponed
1579
01:27:47,226 --> 01:27:49,645
due to the unexpected
new event which just...
1580
01:28:17,339 --> 01:28:19,925
Why does Augie
burn his hand on the Quicky-Griddle?
1581
01:28:20,509 --> 01:28:22,261
I still don't understand the play.
1582
01:28:23,929 --> 01:28:25,097
What?
1583
01:28:33,772 --> 01:28:35,274
Where are you going?
1584
01:28:36,567 --> 01:28:37,985
I'll be right back.
1585
01:28:39,528 --> 01:28:42,030
I don't play him as an alien,
actually. I play him as a metaphor.
1586
01:28:42,114 --> 01:28:43,740
- That's my interpretation.
- Metaphor for what?
1587
01:28:43,866 --> 01:28:46,285
I-I don't know yet. We don't pin it down.
1588
01:28:46,410 --> 01:28:48,412
Schubert. Schubert.
1589
01:28:48,537 --> 01:28:50,539
- Schubert! Schubert!
- Huh? Yes.
1590
01:28:50,664 --> 01:28:53,000
What's wrong? Are you on?
1591
01:28:53,125 --> 01:28:54,793
Technically, but General Gibson
just started the scene
1592
01:28:54,918 --> 01:28:56,587
where the president
doesn't accept his resignation.
1593
01:28:56,712 --> 01:28:58,547
I've got six and a half minutes
before my next line.
1594
01:28:58,672 --> 01:29:00,382
I need an answer
to a question I want to ask.
1595
01:29:00,507 --> 01:29:01,550
Okay.
1596
01:29:01,675 --> 01:29:02,968
Am I doing him right?
1597
01:29:03,594 --> 01:29:04,887
Oh.
1598
01:29:05,012 --> 01:29:06,430
Well...
1599
01:29:06,555 --> 01:29:07,848
I told you before,
there's too much business,
1600
01:29:07,973 --> 01:29:10,726
with the pipe, with the lighter,
with the camera, with the eyebrow,
1601
01:29:11,059 --> 01:29:12,895
but aside from that, on the whole,
1602
01:29:13,020 --> 01:29:15,147
in answer to your question... Sit down.
1603
01:29:17,983 --> 01:29:19,318
You're doing him just right.
1604
01:29:19,443 --> 01:29:21,778
In fact, in my opinion,
you didn't just become Augie.
1605
01:29:21,904 --> 01:29:23,113
He became you.
1606
01:29:23,238 --> 01:29:24,281
I feel lost.
1607
01:29:24,406 --> 01:29:25,908
- Good.
- He's such a wounded guy.
1608
01:29:26,033 --> 01:29:28,827
I feel like my heart is getting broken,
my own personal heart,
1609
01:29:28,952 --> 01:29:30,037
- every night.
- Good.
1610
01:29:30,162 --> 01:29:31,580
- Do I just keep doing it?
- Yes.
1611
01:29:31,705 --> 01:29:33,457
- Without knowing anything?
- Yes.
1612
01:29:33,582 --> 01:29:35,250
Isn't there supposed to be
some kind of an answer
1613
01:29:35,375 --> 01:29:36,752
out there in the cosmic wilderness?
1614
01:29:36,877 --> 01:29:37,961
Woodrow's line about the meaning of life.
1615
01:29:38,086 --> 01:29:39,213
- "Maybe there is one."
- Right.
1616
01:29:39,338 --> 01:29:40,464
Well, that's my question.
1617
01:29:42,508 --> 01:29:44,301
I still don't understand the play.
1618
01:29:44,760 --> 01:29:45,886
Doesn't matter.
1619
01:29:46,011 --> 01:29:47,763
Just keep telling the story.
1620
01:29:49,264 --> 01:29:50,474
You're doing him right.
1621
01:29:50,724 --> 01:29:52,017
I need a breath of fresh air.
1622
01:29:52,142 --> 01:29:53,227
Huh.
1623
01:29:53,352 --> 01:29:55,354
Okay, but you won't find one.
1624
01:29:58,524 --> 01:29:59,983
Right.
1625
01:30:19,628 --> 01:30:20,796
Hello.
1626
01:30:23,465 --> 01:30:26,176
Oh. It's you, the wife
who played my actress.
1627
01:30:26,260 --> 01:30:29,179
Hmm. My scene was cut after one rehearsal.
1628
01:30:30,806 --> 01:30:33,308
- We still use your photograph.
- Hmm.
1629
01:30:36,728 --> 01:30:38,355
You remember the dialogue?
1630
01:30:39,857 --> 01:30:41,149
No.
1631
01:30:42,776 --> 01:30:45,612
We meet in a dream on the alien's planet.
1632
01:30:46,113 --> 01:30:47,656
Magnavox-27.
1633
01:30:47,781 --> 01:30:49,867
Actually, it's one of the moons of it.
1634
01:30:51,201 --> 01:30:54,246
You say, "Did you talk to the alien?"
1635
01:30:55,038 --> 01:30:56,999
I say, "Not yet."
1636
01:30:57,791 --> 01:31:00,419
You say, "Why not? I thought for sure
1637
01:31:00,502 --> 01:31:03,255
"you would've yelled at him
or made him laugh."
1638
01:31:03,380 --> 01:31:07,301
I say, "Or asked him
the secrets of the universe?"
1639
01:31:07,426 --> 01:31:09,303
You say, "Exactly."
1640
01:31:11,096 --> 01:31:13,390
I say, "I think he's shy."
1641
01:31:14,933 --> 01:31:16,727
You say,
1642
01:31:16,894 --> 01:31:19,479
"So's Woodrow,
but I'm sure he'll grow out of it.
1643
01:31:19,605 --> 01:31:22,191
"I mean, at least
I hope he will, without a mother."
1644
01:31:24,276 --> 01:31:27,779
I say, "He's a late bloomer,
1645
01:31:27,905 --> 01:31:31,950
"but maybe I think
you'll need to replace me."
1646
01:31:32,951 --> 01:31:34,286
You say,
1647
01:31:34,411 --> 01:31:37,206
"What? Why? How? I can't."
1648
01:31:38,874 --> 01:31:42,961
I say, "Maybe I think you'll need to try.
1649
01:31:45,756 --> 01:31:47,508
"I'm not coming back, Augie."
1650
01:31:50,636 --> 01:31:53,347
Then you take a picture of me
and start crying,
1651
01:31:54,264 --> 01:31:55,766
and I say...
1652
01:31:58,810 --> 01:32:00,646
"I hope it comes out."
1653
01:32:04,274 --> 01:32:05,567
And I say,
1654
01:32:06,527 --> 01:32:08,153
"All my pictures come out."
1655
01:32:20,123 --> 01:32:21,416
Hmm.
1656
01:32:22,042 --> 01:32:23,710
Good memory. Why'd they cut it?
1657
01:32:23,836 --> 01:32:25,254
Running time.
1658
01:32:25,337 --> 01:32:26,964
Now I'm
First Lady-in-Waiting to the Queen Consort
1659
01:32:27,089 --> 01:32:28,507
in Fruit of a Withering Vine.
1660
01:32:28,882 --> 01:32:30,133
You missed your cue.
1661
01:32:30,217 --> 01:32:32,386
June and the cowboy
are already necking in the station wagon.
1662
01:32:32,511 --> 01:32:34,847
They're bandaging
the understudy's hand right now.
1663
01:32:36,682 --> 01:32:38,433
Oh. It's you.
1664
01:32:38,559 --> 01:32:40,185
We almost would've had a scene together.
1665
01:32:40,310 --> 01:32:42,312
- Hello.
- Hello.
1666
01:32:45,274 --> 01:32:48,402
Six months into the run,
the company received the news,
1667
01:32:48,527 --> 01:32:51,071
a catastrophic automobile accident.
1668
01:32:51,196 --> 01:32:55,868
Conrad Earp, American playwright
unequaled in passion and imagination,
1669
01:32:56,243 --> 01:32:57,619
dead at 50.
1670
01:32:57,744 --> 01:32:59,788
I'd like to make
a scene where all my characters
1671
01:32:59,913 --> 01:33:01,498
are each gently, privately seduced
1672
01:33:01,623 --> 01:33:03,709
into the deepest,
dreamiest slumber of their lives
1673
01:33:03,834 --> 01:33:05,502
as a result of their shared experience
1674
01:33:05,627 --> 01:33:08,338
of a bewildering
and bedazzling celestial mystery,
1675
01:33:08,463 --> 01:33:10,674
but I don't know how to write it.
1676
01:33:12,467 --> 01:33:14,595
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1677
01:33:14,678 --> 01:33:15,804
What was that?
1678
01:33:15,929 --> 01:33:17,347
What's happening?
1679
01:33:18,515 --> 01:33:20,142
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1680
01:33:20,267 --> 01:33:21,310
- What?
- That's not true.
1681
01:33:21,435 --> 01:33:22,728
- Say it again.
- Who cares?
1682
01:33:23,437 --> 01:33:25,439
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1683
01:33:25,564 --> 01:33:26,565
- Why should you?
- Maybe not.
1684
01:33:26,690 --> 01:33:27,941
- Of course.
- Uh, yes.
1685
01:33:28,108 --> 01:33:30,152
- You can't wake up...
- If you don't fall asleep.
1686
01:33:30,277 --> 01:33:32,487
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1687
01:33:32,613 --> 01:33:34,489
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1688
01:33:34,781 --> 01:33:36,783
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1689
01:33:36,867 --> 01:33:39,161
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1690
01:33:39,286 --> 01:33:41,538
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1691
01:33:41,663 --> 01:33:43,832
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1692
01:33:44,041 --> 01:33:46,210
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1693
01:33:46,335 --> 01:33:48,587
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1694
01:33:48,712 --> 01:33:51,006
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1695
01:33:51,131 --> 01:33:53,509
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1696
01:33:53,634 --> 01:33:55,677
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1697
01:33:55,802 --> 01:33:58,096
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1698
01:33:58,222 --> 01:34:00,724
You can't wake up
if you don't fall asleep.
1699
01:34:29,294 --> 01:34:32,881
Somewhere there's music
How faint the tune
1700
01:34:33,006 --> 01:34:35,843
Somewhere there's heaven
How high the moon...
1701
01:34:36,218 --> 01:34:38,804
Uh, where'd they go?
1702
01:34:39,930 --> 01:34:41,390
Good morning, Mr. Steenbeck.
1703
01:34:41,473 --> 01:34:43,308
Juice preference, please.
Apple, orange, or tomato.
1704
01:34:43,433 --> 01:34:45,143
Where'd they go? Everybody.
1705
01:34:45,269 --> 01:34:46,728
Of course. I understand.
1706
01:34:47,145 --> 01:34:49,731
The president lifted
the quarantine after all, at midnight.
1707
01:34:49,815 --> 01:34:52,067
He sent the whole gang home,
the troops, the cowboys,
1708
01:34:52,192 --> 01:34:53,819
the Junior Stargazers, and Space Cadets.
1709
01:34:54,111 --> 01:34:56,405
You are free to return
back to wherever you came from.
1710
01:34:56,488 --> 01:34:58,031
We had 11 checkouts this morning.
1711
01:34:58,448 --> 01:34:59,700
I guess you overslept.
1712
01:34:59,783 --> 01:35:01,827
They returned your
science projects, by the way.
1713
01:35:01,952 --> 01:35:03,203
Hmm.
1714
01:35:04,788 --> 01:35:06,415
- Tomato.
- Right away.
1715
01:35:13,630 --> 01:35:16,925
The plan was
to shovel it up and take her with us.
1716
01:35:17,050 --> 01:35:19,970
Like I said, we'll exhume the Tupperware.
1717
01:35:20,053 --> 01:35:23,223
We don't have
any burial rights to this plot here.
1718
01:35:23,307 --> 01:35:25,058
I would question
whether it even is a plot.
1719
01:35:25,142 --> 01:35:26,310
It isn't.
1720
01:35:26,393 --> 01:35:28,395
- Don't murder my mother's ashes!
- He's killing her!
1721
01:35:28,520 --> 01:35:31,106
No, no, no, no. Let us pray.
1722
01:35:35,194 --> 01:35:36,653
Poppy!
1723
01:35:38,363 --> 01:35:40,949
Dear Heavenly Father,
we thank thee for the life
1724
01:35:41,074 --> 01:35:44,745
of this magnificent woman,
who was once just a little girl
1725
01:35:44,870 --> 01:35:47,414
like these three witches in training.
1726
01:35:47,539 --> 01:35:48,957
- Not in training.
- We are witches.
1727
01:35:49,082 --> 01:35:50,626
Part witch, part alien.
1728
01:35:50,751 --> 01:35:53,045
Like these three witches at one time.
1729
01:35:53,170 --> 01:35:55,923
We had no intention
of permanently burying her
1730
01:35:56,048 --> 01:35:57,925
next to this unmarked cactus,
1731
01:35:58,050 --> 01:35:59,510
but I no longer have the strength
1732
01:35:59,635 --> 01:36:02,554
to fight for her dignity,
nor neither does Augie.
1733
01:36:02,638 --> 01:36:04,348
- Do you?
- No.
1734
01:36:04,473 --> 01:36:07,309
So we'll defer to the wishes
of her stubborn daughters.
1735
01:36:07,601 --> 01:36:09,770
Woodrow, any final farewell?
1736
01:36:11,063 --> 01:36:12,606
I don't believe in God anymore.
1737
01:36:12,981 --> 01:36:14,107
Fair enough.
1738
01:36:14,691 --> 01:36:16,777
- Amen.
- Amen.
1739
01:36:17,319 --> 01:36:19,821
Friskity, triskity, briskity, boo,
1740
01:36:19,988 --> 01:36:22,991
knickerty, knockerty, tockerty, too.
1741
01:36:23,116 --> 01:36:25,244
Mama is in the ground.
1742
01:36:25,369 --> 01:36:27,621
Say the prayer for Mama.
1743
01:36:27,746 --> 01:36:30,165
Mama, we'll say the prayer, too.
1744
01:36:30,791 --> 01:36:31,834
You are beautiful...
1745
01:36:33,001 --> 01:36:35,170
Five orders
of flapjacks and two black coffees.
1746
01:36:35,295 --> 01:36:37,130
Thanks.
1747
01:36:39,925 --> 01:36:41,343
Who needs to pee?
1748
01:36:43,470 --> 01:36:45,055
How about a glass
of strawberry milk?
1749
01:36:45,138 --> 01:36:46,515
- Mmm.
- Yes, please.
1750
01:36:48,475 --> 01:36:50,936
Somebody win that scholarship?
1751
01:36:51,019 --> 01:36:52,271
I did.
1752
01:36:53,146 --> 01:36:54,857
- When?
- Last night.
1753
01:36:55,315 --> 01:36:57,609
General Gibson slipped it
to me in line at the communal showers.
1754
01:36:57,734 --> 01:36:59,695
I think he just wanted
to get it over with.
1755
01:36:59,820 --> 01:37:01,947
It's actually a standard-sized check
of typical dimensions.
1756
01:37:02,072 --> 01:37:03,824
The big one's only for show.
1757
01:37:04,408 --> 01:37:05,951
- Wow.
- Congratulations, Woodrow.
1758
01:37:06,076 --> 01:37:07,369
That's, uh, stupendous.
1759
01:37:07,494 --> 01:37:08,704
You must be some kind of a genius.
1760
01:37:08,787 --> 01:37:09,788
I agree.
1761
01:37:09,872 --> 01:37:12,499
You must be some kind of brainiac.
1762
01:37:14,084 --> 01:37:15,752
Has it got any strings attached to it?
1763
01:37:15,836 --> 01:37:17,045
It's made out to you personally.
1764
01:37:17,171 --> 01:37:18,589
How do you plan to use it?
1765
01:37:20,549 --> 01:37:22,467
I'll probably spend it on my girlfriend.
1766
01:37:26,680 --> 01:37:28,849
What do you write in that little book?
1767
01:37:30,851 --> 01:37:32,519
Next year's project, confidentially.
1768
01:37:32,644 --> 01:37:34,563
- Gee, whiz. Look at that. Whoa.
- Wow. Is that possible?
1769
01:37:34,688 --> 01:37:36,523
Is that possible?
1770
01:37:36,648 --> 01:37:38,984
Midge Campbell
left you her address.
1771
01:37:40,152 --> 01:37:42,029
It's just a post office box.
1772
01:37:44,907 --> 01:37:46,408
What happened
that night I saw the...
1773
01:37:46,533 --> 01:37:47,826
That's none of your business, Stanley.
1774
01:37:47,951 --> 01:37:49,620
I know. Of course it isn't.
1775
01:37:49,745 --> 01:37:51,246
I only ask because Woodrow told me
1776
01:37:51,371 --> 01:37:52,873
- Dinah told him.
- I understand. I understand.
1777
01:37:52,998 --> 01:37:54,499
I understand.
1778
01:37:54,625 --> 01:37:56,793
I went to law school
with her former agent.
1779
01:37:57,211 --> 01:37:58,545
Anyway, I don't object.
1780
01:37:59,463 --> 01:38:01,673
She's actually a very gifted comedienne.
1781
01:38:02,758 --> 01:38:03,759
That's true.
1782
01:38:07,721 --> 01:38:09,556
Another atom bomb test.
1783
01:38:32,746 --> 01:38:34,706
Freight train, freight train
1784
01:38:34,831 --> 01:38:36,583
Going so fast
1785
01:38:36,708 --> 01:38:38,544
Freight train, freight train
1786
01:38:38,669 --> 01:38:40,462
Going so fast
1787
01:38:40,712 --> 01:38:43,298
I don't know what train he's on
1788
01:38:43,423 --> 01:38:46,093
- Won't you tell me where he's gone?
1789
01:38:46,176 --> 01:38:47,761
Woodrow, let's go.
1790
01:38:55,561 --> 01:38:57,020
Don't know where
1791
01:38:57,145 --> 01:38:59,273
- He's heading for
1792
01:38:59,398 --> 01:39:00,899
What he's done
1793
01:39:01,024 --> 01:39:03,151
- Against the law
1794
01:39:03,277 --> 01:39:06,321
Got no future, got no hope
1795
01:39:06,446 --> 01:39:10,075
Just nothing but the rope
1796
01:39:18,250 --> 01:39:19,960
Freight train, freight train
1797
01:39:20,085 --> 01:39:21,795
Going so fast
1798
01:39:21,920 --> 01:39:23,922
Freight train, freight train
1799
01:39:24,047 --> 01:39:25,757
Going so fast
1800
01:39:25,883 --> 01:39:28,760
I don't know what train he's on
1801
01:39:28,844 --> 01:39:30,470
Won't you tell me
1802
01:39:30,596 --> 01:39:32,639
Where he's gone
1803
01:39:41,064 --> 01:39:44,484
He lost his reason
Lost his life
1804
01:39:45,068 --> 01:39:48,238
He killed his friend in mortal strife
1805
01:39:48,780 --> 01:39:51,825
He must keep moving like the rolling skies
1806
01:39:51,950 --> 01:39:55,954
Just a-waitin' till he dies
1807
01:40:03,879 --> 01:40:05,672
Freight train, freight train
1808
01:40:05,797 --> 01:40:07,549
Going so fast
1809
01:40:07,674 --> 01:40:09,468
Freight train, freight train
1810
01:40:09,593 --> 01:40:11,428
Going so fast
1811
01:40:11,553 --> 01:40:14,556
I don't know what train he's on
1812
01:40:14,681 --> 01:40:18,602
Won't you tell me where he's gone
1813
01:40:26,860 --> 01:40:30,697
When he dies just bury him, please
1814
01:40:30,822 --> 01:40:34,535
Way down the end of old Chestnut Street
1815
01:40:34,660 --> 01:40:37,829
Poplars at his head and feet
1816
01:40:37,955 --> 01:40:42,042
And tell them he's gone to sleep
1817
01:40:49,758 --> 01:40:51,635
Freight train, freight train
1818
01:40:51,760 --> 01:40:53,428
Going so fast
1819
01:40:53,554 --> 01:40:55,430
Freight train, freight train
1820
01:40:55,556 --> 01:40:57,432
Going so fast
1821
01:40:57,558 --> 01:41:00,519
I don't know what train he's on
1822
01:41:00,644 --> 01:41:04,356
Won't you tell me where he's gone
1823
01:41:40,976 --> 01:41:43,562
You
1824
01:41:47,316 --> 01:41:49,902
Can't wake up
1825
01:41:50,819 --> 01:41:53,614
If you don't fall asleep
1826
01:41:54,573 --> 01:41:57,242
You can't fall in love
1827
01:41:58,118 --> 01:42:01,705
And land on your feet
1828
01:42:01,955 --> 01:42:05,125
You won't smell the roses
1829
01:42:05,626 --> 01:42:08,504
If you never plant a seed
1830
01:42:09,338 --> 01:42:12,216
And you can't wake up
1831
01:42:12,341 --> 01:42:16,470
If you don't fall asleep
1832
01:42:20,516 --> 01:42:23,185
You can't make an entrance
1833
01:42:24,353 --> 01:42:26,438
If you keep missing your cue
1834
01:42:28,690 --> 01:42:30,734
And you won't pick a winner
1835
01:42:31,026 --> 01:42:34,321
Till you learn how to choose
1836
01:42:35,822 --> 01:42:38,492
You'll never find the treasure
1837
01:42:39,076 --> 01:42:41,537
Unless you dig deep
1838
01:42:42,412 --> 01:42:45,123
And you can't wake up
1839
01:42:45,791 --> 01:42:49,169
If you don't fall asleep
1840
01:42:53,131 --> 01:42:56,426
Oh, you'll never
1841
01:42:56,802 --> 01:42:59,304
Have memories
1842
01:43:00,514 --> 01:43:03,141
Worth keeping
1843
01:43:06,645 --> 01:43:10,983
Oh, you'll never
1844
01:43:11,316 --> 01:43:13,485
Find the truth
1845
01:43:14,611 --> 01:43:17,990
You are seeking
1846
01:43:25,038 --> 01:43:28,417
While you are sleeping
1847
01:43:33,088 --> 01:43:37,050
But you can't wake up
1848
01:43:37,301 --> 01:43:40,387
If you don't fall asleep
1849
01:43:41,180 --> 01:43:44,725
So go live your dreams
1850
01:43:45,184 --> 01:43:47,603
And live them real deep
1851
01:43:47,728 --> 01:43:51,523
There is some counting money
1852
01:43:52,524 --> 01:43:56,403
And there's some counting sheep
1853
01:43:57,779 --> 01:44:01,575
Oh, you can't wake up
1854
01:44:01,950 --> 01:44:08,040
If you don't fall asleep
1855
01:44:13,086 --> 01:44:16,256
If you don't fall asleep