1 00:03:08,698 --> 00:03:10,757 Many centuries ago... 2 00:03:10,967 --> 00:03:13,401 ...a remarkable family began to practice... 3 00:03:13,603 --> 00:03:16,401 ...the magical art of disguise. 4 00:03:16,606 --> 00:03:20,007 Down through the ages they worked in secret... 5 00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:23,303 ...protecting the world from evil. 6 00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:26,275 This is their story. 7 00:03:44,367 --> 00:03:46,028 Well, stop her! 8 00:03:50,873 --> 00:03:52,841 This is my son. 9 00:03:54,243 --> 00:03:57,644 Most people thought he sold vacuum cleaners door to door. 10 00:03:57,847 --> 00:04:01,476 But as you can see, there was more to the story. 11 00:04:01,818 --> 00:04:04,548 Where do you think you're going? 12 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,665 idiot. 13 00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:31,477 This is a mistake. That woman is not Bo Derek! 14 00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:34,775 That was close. 15 00:04:43,393 --> 00:04:45,190 Too close. 16 00:04:45,895 --> 00:04:49,592 I demand to speak to the American Embassy! 17 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:54,593 Frabbrizio, it's time your son is told of his destiny. 18 00:04:54,804 --> 00:04:57,568 This is no life for my son. 19 00:04:57,807 --> 00:05:01,675 I will never tell him of his true destiny. 20 00:05:12,755 --> 00:05:17,249 Frabbrizio decided to keep the family Legacy a secret from his son. 21 00:05:17,460 --> 00:05:21,726 The boy never knew the truth about his urge to disguise himself... 22 00:05:21,931 --> 00:05:24,729 ...with anything he could find. 23 00:05:24,901 --> 00:05:27,631 Pistachio, I hope you're not making faces... 24 00:05:27,837 --> 00:05:30,897 ...in the mirror with the underwear on the head. 25 00:05:31,107 --> 00:05:33,337 That would be crazy, Papa. 26 00:05:34,143 --> 00:05:38,546 Unless I had the shaving-cream beard to go along with it. 27 00:05:38,748 --> 00:05:44,448 This is my grandson Pistachio. He has always been a little different. 28 00:05:47,657 --> 00:05:51,423 From the beginning, he had impulses he couldn't control. 29 00:05:51,627 --> 00:05:53,857 You slap me, I slap you. 30 00:05:54,130 --> 00:05:58,430 As Pistachio grew up, he couldn't help mimicking people around him. 31 00:05:58,634 --> 00:06:01,933 Add the copper sulfate. 32 00:06:02,138 --> 00:06:04,436 Add the copper sulfate. 33 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:09,236 Add just a little bit of luminol. 34 00:06:09,445 --> 00:06:12,744 Add just a little bit of luminol. 35 00:06:19,188 --> 00:06:23,386 But he always had a hard time fitting in. 36 00:06:24,494 --> 00:06:27,486 You think you got muscles now? Try this. 37 00:06:27,663 --> 00:06:28,789 Okay. 38 00:06:32,635 --> 00:06:35,297 Why does he have underwear on his head? 39 00:06:35,471 --> 00:06:40,408 What he didn't know was that his true adventure was about to begin. 40 00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:45,038 There's a young lady out here to see you. 41 00:06:45,214 --> 00:06:47,910 For me? Fantastico! 42 00:06:48,117 --> 00:06:49,846 Yes! Yes! 43 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,688 A young lady. 44 00:06:54,023 --> 00:06:55,650 Hey, amigo! 45 00:06:56,025 --> 00:06:58,425 There's a girl waiting for me! 46 00:06:59,061 --> 00:07:00,653 Mama! 47 00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:07,235 Ask your nice lady friend to come in, and loll make you corned beef ravioli. 48 00:07:07,436 --> 00:07:09,870 What a grand idea, Mama! 49 00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:14,467 Oh, my sonny-son, handsome son. Go, go, go. 50 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:22,447 Naturally, Pistachio wanted to find a girl just like Mama. 51 00:07:29,058 --> 00:07:32,994 Sophia. What an unexpected surprise, love-cake. 52 00:07:33,529 --> 00:07:37,556 -”Love-cake”? -l so enjoyed meeting you last evening. 53 00:07:37,767 --> 00:07:42,761 I know we had some laughs at the bar Last night, but you're not my type. 54 00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:47,465 Besides, I have a boyfriend. So don't call me, okay? I gotta go. 55 00:07:48,911 --> 00:07:50,276 Yes. 56 00:07:50,780 --> 00:07:54,477 Something about her reminds me of my mama. 57 00:07:55,785 --> 00:07:58,754 Oh, yes. She will be a great cook. 58 00:07:59,755 --> 00:08:01,222 Papa. 59 00:08:04,627 --> 00:08:06,492 I straighten the menu. 60 00:08:15,638 --> 00:08:17,071 I'm okay. I'm okay. 61 00:08:18,441 --> 00:08:19,601 Excuse, young man. 62 00:08:19,809 --> 00:08:24,542 I notice that you became acquainted with the sidewalk a moment ago. 63 00:08:24,747 --> 00:08:26,305 I'm not a sports kid. 64 00:08:26,515 --> 00:08:30,417 Pistachio, do one of your funny voices and cheer the kid up. 65 00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:34,056 What an excellent idea, Bernardo. Yes, yes. 66 00:08:34,257 --> 00:08:38,250 I do for you now a scene from the hit motion picture Shrek. 67 00:08:38,461 --> 00:08:39,792 You ready? Okay. 68 00:08:40,329 --> 00:08:43,389 Why don't you get away from me, Donkey? 69 00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:48,936 What you talking about, “Get away from you”? I'm making waffles. 70 00:08:53,542 --> 00:08:55,737 Oh, what a cute little puppy. 71 00:08:56,445 --> 00:09:00,905 I see you like my dog. His name is The Cuteness. 72 00:09:01,117 --> 00:09:02,414 I never had a dog. 73 00:09:02,618 --> 00:09:05,678 Well, perhaps your papa will buy you a dog. 74 00:09:06,155 --> 00:09:07,679 I never had a dad. 75 00:09:11,327 --> 00:09:13,192 Papa deficient, yes. 76 00:09:13,629 --> 00:09:17,190 You can play with The Cuteness any time you want. 77 00:09:19,201 --> 00:09:22,864 Let me introduce myself. My name's Pistachio Disguisey. 78 00:09:23,072 --> 00:09:26,439 -My name's Barney Baker. -A pleasure, Barney Baker. 79 00:09:27,143 --> 00:09:29,703 And now, hungry patrons. 80 00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:31,310 Arrivederci! 81 00:09:50,666 --> 00:09:54,329 Moron, use a tray next time. Those are too many plates. 82 00:09:54,537 --> 00:09:57,028 Ah, the new waiter, Rex. 83 00:09:57,473 --> 00:09:59,998 So cute in your inexperience. 84 00:10:00,209 --> 00:10:03,610 Watch and learn, my friend. 85 00:10:14,056 --> 00:10:16,889 Yes, I clean. I clean. 86 00:10:17,927 --> 00:10:20,122 Goodbye, gooey sauce. 87 00:10:24,133 --> 00:10:29,036 Cheese? Yes, I give you cheese. Yes, nice cheese. Yes, cheese. 88 00:10:29,238 --> 00:10:31,229 You like, huh? Oh, yes. 89 00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:36,004 Papa. 90 00:10:38,147 --> 00:10:41,844 And finally, we have fresh, bouncing baby shrimp. 91 00:10:42,051 --> 00:10:44,519 I’ll just take the spaghetti. 92 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:50,158 And do me a favor, buddy. Get me some man-sized meatballs. 93 00:10:54,296 --> 00:10:58,596 Am I going too fast for you? 94 00:10:59,969 --> 00:11:04,167 Am I going too fast for you? 95 00:11:05,474 --> 00:11:07,669 -You mocking him? -You mocking him? 96 00:11:07,843 --> 00:11:10,903 -You better not be. -You better not be. 97 00:11:12,581 --> 00:11:17,541 -Pistachio, stop it. No mocking. -Pistachio, stop it. No mocking. 98 00:11:17,753 --> 00:11:21,450 Why do you let that little nutball be a waiter? 99 00:11:21,690 --> 00:11:26,389 Listen. You have a problem with my son, then you have a problem with me. 100 00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:31,465 You are not welcome here. You, and you, get out! 101 00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:35,002 Pistachio, what did I tell you? 102 00:11:35,204 --> 00:11:39,106 Yes, I know, Papa. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. 103 00:11:39,275 --> 00:11:42,073 -The mocking's getting worse. -Nonsense. 104 00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:46,010 There's so many voices in my head I don't know who I am. 105 00:11:46,215 --> 00:11:50,481 Listen. You are Pistachio Disguisey, and you're a great waiter. 106 00:11:50,653 --> 00:11:53,781 That is one of the voices. Not the loudest one-- 107 00:11:53,956 --> 00:11:57,517 No. You are my son, you understand? 108 00:11:57,726 --> 00:12:02,595 And I will always be proud of you. 109 00:12:02,798 --> 00:12:07,497 -We should have gone to Burger King. -Perhaps my destiny is far away. 110 00:12:07,670 --> 00:12:11,936 No, my son. Your destiny is here, okay? 111 00:12:12,107 --> 00:12:14,337 Yes, destiny is here. 112 00:12:14,510 --> 00:12:19,345 But, Papa, don't preach. I'm in trouble deep, and I'm keeping my baby. 113 00:12:21,317 --> 00:12:23,251 -You're what? -What? 114 00:12:33,262 --> 00:12:37,995 Excuse, waiter Rex. What are you doing with your arm around the cake? 115 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:42,728 The tush queen, what are you doing out here with the oversized Rex? 116 00:12:42,905 --> 00:12:46,397 Look, Pistachios, the silly voices, the making faces... 117 00:12:46,575 --> 00:12:49,840 -...it was fun for one second, okay? -Only one second? 118 00:12:50,012 --> 00:12:53,573 I never wanted to go out with youse! I love Rex. 119 00:12:53,849 --> 00:12:56,044 Yeah, got it? 120 00:12:58,087 --> 00:13:00,783 I see. I can take a hint. 121 00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:05,820 The message is coming through Loud and clear. 122 00:13:06,362 --> 00:13:09,593 -l gotta get back to work, baby. -Okay. 123 00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:11,891 Goodbye, Pistachios. 124 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,412 Get in the car, huh? 125 00:13:28,417 --> 00:13:33,320 Oh, my little cannel. You'll make my Pistachio very happy. 126 00:13:34,456 --> 00:13:37,254 Get in the car now! Get him in there! 127 00:13:40,262 --> 00:13:41,593 Let’s go! 128 00:13:46,936 --> 00:13:48,198 Ransacked! 129 00:13:48,404 --> 00:13:52,204 Hello? Police? in my home, it is full of ransackery. 130 00:13:52,408 --> 00:13:54,433 Everything different. Where--? 131 00:13:54,643 --> 00:13:57,578 My name is Pistachio. Mama's canole is here. 132 00:13:57,780 --> 00:13:59,941 Don't call again. 133 00:14:00,649 --> 00:14:02,139 Mama! Papa! 134 00:14:02,451 --> 00:14:06,820 Heavenly Father, show me a sign. I promise loll never mock you again. 135 00:14:06,989 --> 00:14:10,447 My family is missing, and I don't know what to do. 136 00:14:10,626 --> 00:14:16,656 I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know.... 137 00:14:38,787 --> 00:14:40,482 Can I help you? 138 00:14:40,656 --> 00:14:43,955 -l came to help you, Pistachio. -Help me what? 139 00:14:44,126 --> 00:14:47,186 Find your mother and your father. My son. 140 00:14:47,696 --> 00:14:49,186 My father... 141 00:14:49,398 --> 00:14:51,332 ...your son. 142 00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:53,991 Holy canole, you are my sister. 143 00:14:55,804 --> 00:14:59,934 You don't have a sister, pea brain. I'm your grandfather. 144 00:15:00,142 --> 00:15:02,133 Yes, that was my next choice. 145 00:15:02,311 --> 00:15:05,405 it’s been 23 years. How did you know I needed help? 146 00:15:05,648 --> 00:15:12,110 That and more will be revealed shortly. But for now, let me in. I hunger. 147 00:15:13,122 --> 00:15:16,057 So I come down from the rooftop. I come home. 148 00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:20,489 And there's no Mama, no Papa, just ransackery. 149 00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:23,830 -Did you ask Jeeves? -Yes, but no such luck. 150 00:15:23,999 --> 00:15:28,436 On the roof, did you hear something that sounded like this: 151 00:15:29,338 --> 00:15:31,806 Yes, exactly that! 152 00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:35,034 But without the pain on my face. 153 00:15:35,244 --> 00:15:37,508 We have a clue! 154 00:15:44,386 --> 00:15:46,354 Grandpapa? 155 00:15:48,857 --> 00:15:53,226 -I'm looking for my grandfather. -Grandfather not here. 156 00:15:54,263 --> 00:15:55,594 I'm sorry. 157 00:15:56,598 --> 00:15:58,361 it’s me, you idiot! 158 00:15:59,168 --> 00:16:01,534 Amazing. You sound like Grandfather. 159 00:16:01,737 --> 00:16:04,968 Fool! I am your grandfather. 160 00:16:06,608 --> 00:16:08,098 I don't.... 161 00:16:13,415 --> 00:16:15,576 Latex rubber. 162 00:16:15,784 --> 00:16:18,344 Yes. it’s so soft. 163 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:22,354 Like a soft, fat baby-bottom face. 164 00:16:22,791 --> 00:16:25,282 This is nothing. I'm rusty! 165 00:16:25,494 --> 00:16:30,522 When I'm on the top of my game, my disguise is seamless! 166 00:16:30,866 --> 00:16:33,699 Yes, without the seams. 167 00:16:34,937 --> 00:16:38,304 And the place is so incredibly clean. 168 00:16:38,507 --> 00:16:40,407 So tidy. 169 00:16:40,809 --> 00:16:43,107 Bravo, Grandpa! 170 00:16:43,812 --> 00:16:48,442 Put a clamp on your pastry hole. I’ll give it to you straight. 171 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:53,078 -You are a Disguisey. -Yes, Pistachio Disguisey. 172 00:16:53,288 --> 00:16:56,587 I'm begging you, curb your yammering skull cave! 173 00:16:56,759 --> 00:16:59,227 Now, throughout history... 174 00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:03,262 ...the Disguiseys used their skills as Masters of Disguise... 175 00:17:03,432 --> 00:17:06,299 ...for the betterment of mankind. 176 00:17:06,468 --> 00:17:10,461 in Europe, they used their power to catch thieves. 177 00:17:10,639 --> 00:17:13,802 Now I’ve got it. it’s mine. 178 00:17:13,976 --> 00:17:15,967 The statue is alive! 179 00:17:16,445 --> 00:17:19,346 They were the world's first environmentalists. 180 00:17:19,548 --> 00:17:23,746 Sorry, George Washington, no cherry tree for you. 181 00:17:25,821 --> 00:17:28,654 Abraham Lincoln was such a boring speaker... 182 00:17:28,991 --> 00:17:33,758 ...that the Disguiseys had to help him get elected president. 183 00:17:34,696 --> 00:17:38,860 If you'll excuse me, I just need a drink of water. 184 00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:40,762 Rough crowd. 185 00:17:42,504 --> 00:17:46,201 Let’s party! Hit it, boys! 186 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:52,273 Vote for me, we'll get funky this year! 187 00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:59,151 This is your legacy, Pistachio. 188 00:17:59,321 --> 00:18:03,155 These are your people, and you are one of them. 189 00:18:03,325 --> 00:18:05,225 But Papa runs a restaurant. 190 00:18:05,394 --> 00:18:09,057 Your father was the world's greatest Master of Disguise. 191 00:18:09,231 --> 00:18:11,131 But Papa runs a restaurant. 192 00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:16,465 This is what you are doing. This is what I want you to do. Any questions? 193 00:18:17,406 --> 00:18:20,000 Your parents, despite my objections... 194 00:18:20,175 --> 00:18:23,076 ...insisted on keeping the legacy a secret. 195 00:18:23,245 --> 00:18:27,113 -That's why we haven't spoken in years. -But my papa-- 196 00:18:31,887 --> 00:18:35,379 It is time for you to find your father and mother. 197 00:18:35,991 --> 00:18:39,859 You mean, we will find my father and my mother. 198 00:18:40,062 --> 00:18:42,758 -impossible. Sorry. -But why? 199 00:18:42,931 --> 00:18:47,391 This is the sacred book of the Disguisey way. 200 00:18:48,337 --> 00:18:50,237 Like a Boy Scout handbook? 201 00:18:51,039 --> 00:18:55,442 You cannot compare this book to anything else known to man. 202 00:19:00,148 --> 00:19:01,945 it’s a pop-up! 203 00:19:03,952 --> 00:19:06,182 “lf a father and mother are missing... 204 00:19:06,355 --> 00:19:11,019 ...only a son who has become a Master of Disguise can save them... 205 00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:15,687 ...without any direct help from the grandfather.” 206 00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:18,560 That's one specific farmer. 207 00:19:18,767 --> 00:19:23,431 -Now I must find your father's nest. -Come again? A “nest”? 208 00:19:23,672 --> 00:19:27,403 Yes there a place your father goes to spend time by himself... 209 00:19:27,576 --> 00:19:32,479 -...that is dark, that is secretive? -The attic is dark and secretive. 210 00:19:32,981 --> 00:19:36,246 Show me this attic. 211 00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:38,447 So, Grandpa... 212 00:19:38,620 --> 00:19:40,679 ...this is the attic. 213 00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:44,985 This is a pretty ordinary attic. There's nothing-- 214 00:19:49,197 --> 00:19:51,290 What? What? What? What? 215 00:19:52,768 --> 00:19:55,601 A magic ball. 216 00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:40,548 Behold your father's nest. 217 00:20:40,749 --> 00:20:42,307 Heavens to Betsy. 218 00:20:42,484 --> 00:20:46,443 Yes. I knew he would keep one, just in case. 219 00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:47,952 Yes. Just in case. 220 00:20:48,123 --> 00:20:50,455 Now you'll be a Master of Disguise. 221 00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:53,458 Really? A Master of Disguise? 222 00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:58,065 I'm going to be a Master of Disguise I'm going to be a Master of Disguise 223 00:20:58,233 --> 00:21:02,465 Enough! Your mother and father are in grave danger. 224 00:21:02,637 --> 00:21:05,902 Your training begins... 225 00:21:06,074 --> 00:21:08,474 ...now! 226 00:21:32,501 --> 00:21:35,334 Brilliant. You are disguised as a fatty. 227 00:21:40,208 --> 00:21:42,073 What is happening? 228 00:21:42,377 --> 00:21:43,901 I'm getting bigger. 229 00:21:44,546 --> 00:21:46,844 -l got so fat. -Pistachio! 230 00:22:23,785 --> 00:22:25,218 Remember me? 231 00:22:27,656 --> 00:22:29,453 Dell Bowman? 232 00:22:30,592 --> 00:22:34,392 We both know you were the woman, that night in Palermo. 233 00:22:34,896 --> 00:22:39,094 Because of you, I spent 20 years in prison. 234 00:22:43,472 --> 00:22:46,066 Thanks to a potion in the caramel corn... 235 00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:50,837 ...she thinks she's still at home preparing dinner. But we know better. 236 00:22:51,012 --> 00:22:52,741 Don't we? 237 00:22:53,748 --> 00:22:56,080 Oh, my goodness! 238 00:22:56,952 --> 00:22:58,317 Okay, okay. Stop. 239 00:23:02,290 --> 00:23:03,917 We'll have soup today. 240 00:23:04,126 --> 00:23:08,586 You're right. I was Bo Derek that night in Palermo. 241 00:23:08,797 --> 00:23:12,324 -What do you want? -l want you to drop your pizza apron... 242 00:23:12,501 --> 00:23:14,867 ...become a Master of Disguise again... 243 00:23:15,036 --> 00:23:19,405 ...and help me obtain the world's rarest treasures. 244 00:23:19,608 --> 00:23:22,668 You're a sick man, Bowman. 245 00:23:34,022 --> 00:23:36,047 -Are the teeth in? -Yes. 246 00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:38,350 Good. Here, and here. 247 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:42,326 There's minimal adhesive spillage. That's not bad. 248 00:23:42,531 --> 00:23:46,558 Good. Now all I have to do is disguise my voice, right? 249 00:23:46,735 --> 00:23:50,535 Open sesame. Open sesame. 250 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,505 Stop that! 251 00:23:53,875 --> 00:24:00,041 Buffoon! Clown! Anyone can put on a disguise and change his voice. 252 00:24:00,215 --> 00:24:03,878 But you said that was the secret power of the Disguiseys. 253 00:24:04,252 --> 00:24:09,349 Not exactly. it’s time for you to learn about the invisible energy field... 254 00:24:09,524 --> 00:24:12,823 ...that bonds all Disguiseys, past and present. 255 00:24:13,061 --> 00:24:14,653 It is called: 256 00:24:14,996 --> 00:24:19,023 -Energico. -Energico. 257 00:24:19,201 --> 00:24:24,764 When you learn to tap into Energico, you'll access words, skills, ideas... 258 00:24:24,973 --> 00:24:28,067 ...that you never dreamed possible. 259 00:24:28,243 --> 00:24:31,735 You'll be able to act and feel like another person. 260 00:24:31,913 --> 00:24:33,710 You will become... 261 00:24:33,882 --> 00:24:36,578 ...another person. 262 00:24:37,252 --> 00:24:39,584 Become another person. 263 00:24:39,921 --> 00:24:43,254 But first, you must repeat the mantra: 264 00:24:43,425 --> 00:24:46,986 Become another person. 265 00:24:47,195 --> 00:24:50,255 -”Become another person.” Nothing. -Again. 266 00:24:50,432 --> 00:24:52,423 -Become another person. -Repeat. 267 00:24:52,601 --> 00:24:55,468 Become another person. Become another person. 268 00:24:55,637 --> 00:24:58,868 Become another person. 269 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,600 Good. Who are you now? 270 00:25:01,810 --> 00:25:03,778 The question is, who are you? 271 00:25:03,945 --> 00:25:07,278 I'm Prince Lali Jhamba from the Ringy Dingy Heights... 272 00:25:07,449 --> 00:25:11,510 ...near Bombay, Calcutta and New Delhi, India. India. India. 273 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:15,019 It is time to test that. 274 00:25:15,557 --> 00:25:17,582 What is it? 275 00:25:18,159 --> 00:25:21,788 That is a big reptile. Not a problem. 276 00:25:33,942 --> 00:25:38,311 Oh, yes. He wouldn't hurt anybody now. 277 00:25:38,546 --> 00:25:41,413 I'm going to call him Buttercup. 278 00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:43,642 So cute, eh? 279 00:25:45,654 --> 00:25:48,782 Tickle-tickle-tickle-tickle. 280 00:25:49,324 --> 00:25:51,656 Energico. 281 00:25:51,826 --> 00:25:53,453 God help me, I love it. 282 00:25:54,863 --> 00:25:57,661 -Down, boy. -A complete transformation. 283 00:25:59,634 --> 00:26:04,162 You like the cheese. Go get the cheese. You know you love it. 284 00:26:05,206 --> 00:26:10,508 Now, sometimes during your travels, you may be required to defend yourself. 285 00:26:10,679 --> 00:26:14,376 Disguiseys don't believe in hitting with a closed fist. 286 00:26:14,582 --> 00:26:16,846 Always hit with an open hand. 287 00:26:17,018 --> 00:26:20,112 Make your point, but give the man his dignity. 288 00:26:20,288 --> 00:26:22,347 -Dignity. -Observe. 289 00:26:27,696 --> 00:26:30,563 Elbows in, extend. 290 00:26:30,732 --> 00:26:34,498 -Now you try. -Elbow in, extend. 291 00:26:36,471 --> 00:26:38,371 Okay, slappy-dummy man. 292 00:26:39,741 --> 00:26:42,642 Well, I think I've got-- 293 00:26:43,178 --> 00:26:44,372 Pistachio, no. 294 00:26:44,546 --> 00:26:48,880 Yearn to empty your mind. Allow Energico to flow through you. 295 00:26:49,050 --> 00:26:54,545 -Is there a mantra for the hitting? -No! But to demoralize your opponent... 296 00:26:54,723 --> 00:26:58,557 ...repeat the phrase, “Who's your daddy?” in mid-slap. 297 00:26:58,727 --> 00:27:00,490 Watch. 298 00:27:00,762 --> 00:27:04,528 Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? 299 00:27:09,771 --> 00:27:12,399 Thanks for letting me borrow the Constitution. 300 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,905 You're Michael Johnson, the fastest man alive. 301 00:27:16,077 --> 00:27:19,376 -You ready? -Yes, sir, Mr. Johnson. 302 00:27:20,181 --> 00:27:21,910 Go! 303 00:27:26,187 --> 00:27:27,916 Thanks, guys! 304 00:27:28,189 --> 00:27:31,181 You should read this, Bowman. 305 00:27:32,026 --> 00:27:34,051 You might learn something. 306 00:27:34,229 --> 00:27:37,926 I love having a Master of Disguise do my bidding. 307 00:27:38,099 --> 00:27:40,067 That's it. 308 00:27:40,602 --> 00:27:42,866 Have you forgotten something? 309 00:27:43,104 --> 00:27:46,562 My men are ready to pounce on my command. 310 00:27:46,741 --> 00:27:49,767 -No more. Please, stop. -All right, all right. 311 00:28:16,771 --> 00:28:19,399 Okay, so you want to play games? 312 00:28:19,574 --> 00:28:21,303 Let’s play games. 313 00:28:24,612 --> 00:28:27,080 Who is your daddy? 314 00:28:27,282 --> 00:28:30,308 I'm your daddy. I'm your daddy. I'm your daddy.... 315 00:28:44,933 --> 00:28:47,629 She could be a good wife for you. 316 00:28:52,841 --> 00:28:55,810 Well, am I truly a Master of Disguise now? 317 00:28:56,377 --> 00:29:00,040 Not exactly. You're a level-one apprentice. White belt. 318 00:29:00,248 --> 00:29:04,014 Yes! “Level one.” I like the sound of that one. 319 00:29:04,185 --> 00:29:07,643 -How many levels are there? -Seven thousand. 320 00:29:08,189 --> 00:29:13,650 -That's many colored belts. -Yes, you're a rookie. 321 00:29:14,362 --> 00:29:17,195 Listen. It is a Disguisey tradition... 322 00:29:17,398 --> 00:29:20,834 ...at this point in time, we hire you an assistant. 323 00:29:21,035 --> 00:29:24,698 An assistant? Yes, I am going to get an assistant. 324 00:29:24,873 --> 00:29:29,173 -l was secretary for Jensen and Loeb-- -Get out! 325 00:29:29,344 --> 00:29:31,869 -l beg your pardon? -Out! Now! 326 00:29:34,182 --> 00:29:35,547 Get out. 327 00:29:36,017 --> 00:29:37,484 What are you doing here? 328 00:29:37,652 --> 00:29:38,676 History! 329 00:29:38,887 --> 00:29:40,286 Wrong! Take her away. 330 00:29:40,488 --> 00:29:43,013 Get out. idiot! Get out! 331 00:29:43,925 --> 00:29:45,085 Freak. Get out! 332 00:29:45,326 --> 00:29:48,090 Freak. Get out! Freak. Out! Out! 333 00:29:48,396 --> 00:29:50,523 Fifty applicants. 334 00:29:50,698 --> 00:29:53,792 -Fifty losers. -Yes. 335 00:29:54,536 --> 00:30:00,065 Perhaps my destiny does not come with an assistant. 336 00:30:01,609 --> 00:30:04,339 I'm okay. I'm okay. 337 00:30:04,846 --> 00:30:09,579 You too young for this job. Go home and change your diaper. Get out! 338 00:30:09,751 --> 00:30:11,241 I don't wear a diaper. 339 00:30:11,452 --> 00:30:15,047 Pistachio. Come see. There's a talking baby here. 340 00:30:15,223 --> 00:30:18,681 I want to see the talking baby. 341 00:30:18,860 --> 00:30:21,192 Brave Barney, good to see you. 342 00:30:21,396 --> 00:30:23,523 -You know this baby? -Of course. 343 00:30:23,731 --> 00:30:27,030 -l was potty trained when I was 2. -Of course. 344 00:30:27,201 --> 00:30:30,693 You are the conductor of the potty train. 345 00:30:30,872 --> 00:30:33,636 Barney. is this the place? 346 00:30:33,841 --> 00:30:36,935 I just came from a yoga class. I hope that's okay. 347 00:30:37,111 --> 00:30:39,773 Grandpa, this is Barney and.... 348 00:30:39,948 --> 00:30:43,611 -I'm his mom, Jennifer. Hi. -Jennifer. A pleasure, yes. 349 00:30:45,153 --> 00:30:49,715 Sweetie, go practice your ollies, and I’ll see you later, okay? 350 00:30:49,891 --> 00:30:51,791 Please, come in. 351 00:30:52,894 --> 00:30:56,591 -Measurements. -Measurements? What for? 352 00:30:56,798 --> 00:30:59,767 -It's for a uniform. -Oh, yeah. Okay. 353 00:31:00,001 --> 00:31:02,799 It's 35-24-34. 354 00:31:03,905 --> 00:31:07,306 -You said 34? -A little bottom. 355 00:31:11,012 --> 00:31:15,676 I don't know if I'm right for this. Barney said you were looking.... 356 00:31:15,917 --> 00:31:20,411 I'm sorry, he's only 7. He thinks your name is Pistachio. 357 00:31:20,622 --> 00:31:23,113 That is my name. 358 00:31:23,291 --> 00:31:24,758 Well, that's nice. 359 00:31:25,927 --> 00:31:29,658 So okay. What is the job? What exactly do you guys do? 360 00:31:29,831 --> 00:31:33,858 I am a Master of Disguise. He is also a Master of Disguise. 361 00:31:34,035 --> 00:31:37,027 Technically, he's a level-one apprentice. 362 00:31:37,271 --> 00:31:39,967 “Master of Disguise”? I don't get it. 363 00:31:40,341 --> 00:31:44,175 You got a problem with the word “master,” or “disguise”? 364 00:31:44,345 --> 00:31:47,337 Or the word “of”? 365 00:31:47,515 --> 00:31:50,006 Well, what would I have to do? 366 00:31:50,184 --> 00:31:52,118 What does she have to do? 367 00:31:52,286 --> 00:31:57,189 Not so fast. Answer me this first: Do you fold easily under pressure? 368 00:31:57,358 --> 00:31:59,292 What kind of pressure? 369 00:31:59,527 --> 00:32:03,554 -The kind that makes you cry. -Like a little baby in its crib. 370 00:32:03,731 --> 00:32:07,462 -What's it pay? -Pay? Paid in honor, dignity, pride. 371 00:32:07,635 --> 00:32:10,729 Honor, dignity, pride...in its crib. 372 00:32:11,039 --> 00:32:12,870 Actually, I need cash. 373 00:32:14,175 --> 00:32:16,973 This cat has claws. 374 00:32:17,145 --> 00:32:19,204 -Me likey. -Me likely too. 375 00:32:19,447 --> 00:32:22,245 But this cat's got no Mama caboose. 376 00:32:22,450 --> 00:32:26,011 You guys know I can hear you, right? 377 00:32:45,773 --> 00:32:48,606 It pays $41 7 a week, plus Delta Dental. 378 00:32:48,843 --> 00:32:51,437 -loll take it. -it’s yours. But hear me. 379 00:32:51,612 --> 00:32:55,104 Assistants fall in love with their Disguisey masters. 380 00:32:55,283 --> 00:32:58,218 Can you resist Pistachio? 381 00:32:58,386 --> 00:33:00,081 Yes... 382 00:33:00,254 --> 00:33:03,052 ...can you resist me? 383 00:33:08,529 --> 00:33:11,259 So listen to me true, Pistachio. 384 00:33:11,432 --> 00:33:14,697 You are now a level 1 .5 apprentice. 385 00:33:14,902 --> 00:33:18,861 Without your help, how will I know what to disguise myself as? 386 00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:23,602 Listen to your Disguisey instincts. Answer these questions for yourself: 387 00:33:23,778 --> 00:33:27,908 Who, why, where, how would they take your mother and father? 388 00:33:28,116 --> 00:33:30,584 Yes. Who, why, where and why? 389 00:33:30,752 --> 00:33:34,153 No, wrong! Who, why, where and how? 390 00:33:34,322 --> 00:33:37,257 Oh, yes. Who, why, what? 391 00:33:37,425 --> 00:33:42,829 -What and what and what and what? -What? Wrong! Who, why, where, how? 392 00:33:43,030 --> 00:33:47,660 -Yes. Who, why, where, how? -That's it! You got it! 393 00:33:47,835 --> 00:33:50,167 Yes! Who, why, where, how? 394 00:33:50,338 --> 00:33:53,102 I say, who, why, where, how? 395 00:33:53,274 --> 00:33:55,970 I say, who, why, where, how? 396 00:33:56,144 --> 00:33:59,477 I say, who, why, where, how? 397 00:34:01,249 --> 00:34:02,807 Yeah, you, employee. 398 00:34:04,685 --> 00:34:08,348 My grandson is still raw. He's unfocused. 399 00:34:08,589 --> 00:34:12,685 When he becomes another person, he may be unpredictable. 400 00:34:12,860 --> 00:34:16,557 About the dental, when Barney and I get stuff done... 401 00:34:16,764 --> 00:34:19,164 ...do I pay it, then you reimburse me? 402 00:34:19,333 --> 00:34:23,667 Or do I bill Delta Dental directly? I'm not sure how it works. 403 00:34:23,838 --> 00:34:25,635 You sicken me. 404 00:34:27,175 --> 00:34:29,336 I almost forgot. 405 00:34:30,478 --> 00:34:34,608 -Here is your Nest in a Box. -”Nest in a Box”? 406 00:34:34,782 --> 00:34:40,846 You may need it. It comes with instructions. There is something else. 407 00:34:43,891 --> 00:34:46,587 The Disguisey Ball of Knowledge. 408 00:34:46,794 --> 00:34:52,027 When you are in dire straits and don't know what to do, this will be handy. 409 00:34:53,367 --> 00:34:58,964 -l won't let you down, master. -l hope not. 410 00:34:59,707 --> 00:35:03,165 Disguisey thing comes with a lot of accoutrements. 411 00:35:03,377 --> 00:35:07,006 -So long, master! -Bye-bye. 412 00:35:07,181 --> 00:35:11,641 All right, now. Where to begin our search? 413 00:35:12,019 --> 00:35:16,979 Well, I guess we could look around at the spot your father was taken. 414 00:35:17,158 --> 00:35:19,388 That's your idea? That's it? 415 00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:23,155 To look around at the spot where my father was taken? 416 00:35:23,331 --> 00:35:25,162 Well, that's crazy. 417 00:35:25,333 --> 00:35:29,861 So crazy it just might work. 418 00:35:30,938 --> 00:35:33,771 You know, this could be something. 419 00:35:41,148 --> 00:35:43,912 Please, assistant, don't play in the trash... 420 00:35:44,085 --> 00:35:46,883 ...while I am in full father-finding mode. 421 00:35:47,088 --> 00:35:50,023 I dated a guy who used to smoke these. 422 00:35:50,191 --> 00:35:53,718 This cigar's from the Turtle Club. Look at the label. 423 00:35:53,895 --> 00:35:57,262 You want to play games? I’ll play games with you. 424 00:35:58,366 --> 00:36:00,266 There we go. 425 00:36:03,237 --> 00:36:06,104 I dated a guy who used to smoke these. 426 00:36:06,274 --> 00:36:08,902 This cigar's from the Turtle Club. 427 00:36:10,444 --> 00:36:14,540 Jennifer, do you remember the thing you once said... 428 00:36:14,715 --> 00:36:18,378 ...about the guy you used to date from the Turtle Club? 429 00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:20,084 Yeah. 430 00:36:20,254 --> 00:36:23,587 Yes, my Disguisey instincts are going crazy. 431 00:36:23,758 --> 00:36:26,625 We should pay a visit to this Turtle Club. 432 00:36:26,827 --> 00:36:31,230 it’s impossible to get in there. You have to be a member. 433 00:36:31,966 --> 00:36:33,228 You make me laugh. 434 00:36:33,401 --> 00:36:37,132 We'll see what's impossible, my ever-doubtful assistant. 435 00:36:37,305 --> 00:36:39,102 Now, quickly... 436 00:36:39,273 --> 00:36:41,400 ...to the nest! 437 00:36:46,914 --> 00:36:51,851 You know, the name the “Turtle Club,” it's just a name. 438 00:36:52,019 --> 00:36:55,511 -You're taking it too literally. -Turtle. 439 00:36:55,756 --> 00:36:58,623 May I help you? You a member of the club? 440 00:36:58,793 --> 00:37:00,658 -Not exactly. -Not exactly. 441 00:37:00,861 --> 00:37:04,854 But am I not Turtley enough for the Turtle Club? 442 00:37:05,266 --> 00:37:06,756 -is he okay? -He's fine. 443 00:37:06,934 --> 00:37:09,494 He's fine. Turtle. 444 00:37:10,004 --> 00:37:11,471 Turtle. 445 00:37:11,672 --> 00:37:16,041 He's dreamt of this place ever since he was a child. 446 00:37:16,978 --> 00:37:22,382 Do you think we can go in for a moment? We'll be out in five minutes. 447 00:37:22,550 --> 00:37:25,314 -Please. -All right. 448 00:37:33,627 --> 00:37:34,651 Turtle? 449 00:37:34,829 --> 00:37:36,694 -Not Turtle? -No. 450 00:37:36,864 --> 00:37:38,661 Turtle? Not Turtle. 451 00:37:43,371 --> 00:37:47,034 Could you tell me, do you recognize this? 452 00:37:47,208 --> 00:37:52,646 I recognize that. I made that cigar for Dell Bowman's private collection. 453 00:37:54,648 --> 00:37:58,311 -Dell Bowman. -Turtle! 454 00:38:03,224 --> 00:38:04,919 -is he okay? -He's fine. 455 00:38:05,092 --> 00:38:08,391 -I'm fine. Turtle. -Do you think you can give me... 456 00:38:08,562 --> 00:38:11,998 ...an address or phone number for Mr. Bowman? 457 00:38:12,199 --> 00:38:15,726 Are you crazy? I can't give you that information. 458 00:38:15,903 --> 00:38:20,272 No information. What if harm found its way to you? 459 00:38:20,441 --> 00:38:24,400 Terrible Turtle harm. Would that change your mind? 460 00:38:27,214 --> 00:38:31,708 -it’s time to go into my shell. -No. No, shell. 461 00:38:31,886 --> 00:38:36,380 -Shell time coming. -A name is just fine. Thank you much. 462 00:38:36,590 --> 00:38:38,023 Turtle harm. 463 00:38:38,192 --> 00:38:43,061 The kind of harm that makes you cry out in the night like a little baby. 464 00:38:43,230 --> 00:38:45,721 Hey, baby. Can I buy you a drink? 465 00:38:45,900 --> 00:38:48,892 And maybe some pond water for your friend? 466 00:38:52,206 --> 00:38:53,571 Very funny. 467 00:38:56,143 --> 00:38:58,634 -Turtle! -Where did he go? 468 00:39:16,564 --> 00:39:20,796 I don't really know what to say about what went on back there. 469 00:39:20,968 --> 00:39:24,301 -l know, it was like a dream, but real. -l don't-- 470 00:39:24,472 --> 00:39:28,772 Tomorrow we will find out just who this Dell Bowman is. 471 00:39:28,976 --> 00:39:32,275 -This Turtle thing-- -Then we'll find Mama and Papa. 472 00:39:37,184 --> 00:39:39,243 If I'm going to work tomorrow... 473 00:39:39,420 --> 00:39:43,151 ...loll need a lift because my boyfriend has my car. 474 00:39:43,390 --> 00:39:45,119 A boyfriend. 475 00:39:45,292 --> 00:39:46,657 Yes, a boyfriend. 476 00:39:47,461 --> 00:39:50,828 It's getting late. I'm going to go in, okay? 477 00:39:51,031 --> 00:39:53,932 Okay. Good night, my love-cake. 478 00:39:54,101 --> 00:39:55,625 -”Love-cake”? -What? 479 00:39:55,836 --> 00:39:57,997 -You said “love-cake.” -Why would l? 480 00:39:58,172 --> 00:40:00,663 -Your hindquarters are scrawny. -What? 481 00:40:00,908 --> 00:40:05,504 What I was trying to say is that... 482 00:40:05,679 --> 00:40:07,840 ...l have a present for Barney. 483 00:40:12,486 --> 00:40:16,115 -Give this to him, from his dad? -What? 484 00:40:16,524 --> 00:40:20,824 Da-da-da-dat-Italian guy. Me. 485 00:40:21,028 --> 00:40:27,490 Oh, okay. This is very sweet of you. Kneepads. He can use these. 486 00:40:28,335 --> 00:40:30,701 -Well, thank you. -Nighty-night. 487 00:40:31,138 --> 00:40:32,400 Good night. 488 00:40:32,573 --> 00:40:35,235 Sleepy time, she comes. 489 00:40:43,884 --> 00:40:47,650 Thanks for the Liberty Bell. I'll bring it right back. 490 00:40:47,821 --> 00:40:53,657 And remember, that's an action figure, not a doll. 491 00:40:54,562 --> 00:40:57,087 Sure thing, Governor Ventura. Thanks. 492 00:40:57,531 --> 00:41:00,159 Who'd have thought Governor Ventura... 493 00:41:00,334 --> 00:41:05,237 ...would be the perfect disguise to abscond with the Liberty Bell? 494 00:41:05,406 --> 00:41:07,340 Me. 495 00:41:07,875 --> 00:41:13,245 My skills were meant for the betterment of mankind, not for greed and evil. 496 00:41:13,414 --> 00:41:15,041 Please. 497 00:41:18,619 --> 00:41:21,611 You should see your hair. 498 00:41:21,922 --> 00:41:25,551 You've got serious mask-head. 499 00:41:40,007 --> 00:41:42,373 Pistachio, meet my boyfriend, Trent. 500 00:41:42,543 --> 00:41:46,639 There he is. Heard a lot about you, Pistachio. 501 00:41:46,814 --> 00:41:49,078 How are you? 502 00:41:49,450 --> 00:41:53,113 I forgot my purse. I’ll be right back. 503 00:41:54,388 --> 00:41:56,549 Lay off my lady, you freak. 504 00:41:56,724 --> 00:41:59,716 My, you are a touchy-feely guy, Trent. 505 00:42:02,396 --> 00:42:05,888 Saved by the uncoordinated Little brat. Hey, Barn. 506 00:42:06,133 --> 00:42:08,465 Grind that curb, buddy. Yeah! 507 00:42:11,272 --> 00:42:12,899 I'm okay. I'm okay. 508 00:42:13,107 --> 00:42:14,267 What a loser. 509 00:42:14,441 --> 00:42:19,242 -Thanks for the pads. They help. -You'll learn with practice, Barney. 510 00:42:19,446 --> 00:42:21,573 I’ll keep trying. 511 00:42:22,182 --> 00:42:25,845 What kind of crap are you putting in his head? 512 00:42:26,153 --> 00:42:30,146 -Niceness? -Niceness? What are you, his dad? 513 00:42:30,591 --> 00:42:33,424 You trying to horn in on my action? 514 00:42:33,827 --> 00:42:36,921 You trying to horn in on my action? 515 00:42:37,698 --> 00:42:39,859 -What? -What? 516 00:42:40,301 --> 00:42:43,566 -You mocking me? -You mocking me? 517 00:42:47,574 --> 00:42:49,132 But I warn you, Trent. 518 00:42:49,310 --> 00:42:52,643 My slap-practice dummy gets quite a workout lately. 519 00:42:52,813 --> 00:42:55,543 You want to fight? See what awaits you? 520 00:42:55,716 --> 00:42:57,946 First watch the feet. So fast. 521 00:42:58,118 --> 00:43:00,211 Look at my hands. Look at them. 522 00:43:00,454 --> 00:43:01,785 Too fast. 523 00:43:14,668 --> 00:43:16,659 Hey, Barn. 524 00:43:16,870 --> 00:43:20,033 Just keep practicing. You'll just be fine, okay? 525 00:43:20,207 --> 00:43:22,402 I'm ready. 526 00:43:28,215 --> 00:43:31,981 How come I can't do it and you can? 527 00:43:32,820 --> 00:43:36,984 Baby, loll see you after work, okay? Bye. 528 00:43:41,228 --> 00:43:44,857 He is so good with children, huh? 529 00:43:48,335 --> 00:43:52,396 I'm never gonna find anything about this Dell Bowman guy. 530 00:43:52,573 --> 00:43:54,768 Who's your daddy? 531 00:43:55,376 --> 00:43:58,368 Listen, classmate.com thing. 532 00:43:58,579 --> 00:44:00,945 “To be the world's greatest black marketeer... 533 00:44:01,148 --> 00:44:03,878 ...and possess the rarest treasures on earth... 534 00:44:04,051 --> 00:44:06,713 ...then store them in an underground lair.” 535 00:44:06,887 --> 00:44:10,687 What? This guy is crazy. Did you hear this? 536 00:44:10,858 --> 00:44:15,295 I can't believe he would write something like this. Freaky guy. 537 00:44:15,896 --> 00:44:20,356 Yes, we now know the who and the why. 538 00:44:20,534 --> 00:44:26,097 But where do we find a man obsessed with such a rarity? 539 00:44:26,273 --> 00:44:29,640 Well, there's this memorabilia fair tomorrow... 540 00:44:29,810 --> 00:44:33,109 ...with rare toys and stuff. Maybe he'll be there. 541 00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:37,410 So you think that Bowman will show up... 542 00:44:37,584 --> 00:44:41,315 ...to see these rare items. 543 00:44:41,822 --> 00:44:45,781 That's crazy. So crazy... 544 00:44:45,959 --> 00:44:50,293 ...it just might work. 545 00:44:52,399 --> 00:44:56,995 Pistachio and Jennifer went to the antique show hoping to find Bowman. 546 00:44:57,204 --> 00:45:00,435 My grandson decided to disguise himself as a lady. 547 00:45:00,641 --> 00:45:01,972 Appraise this! 548 00:45:02,142 --> 00:45:06,010 What are you doing? That's the Nest in a Box. 549 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:10,910 It appears to be of Tuscan design. I'd say early 12th century. 550 00:45:11,084 --> 00:45:13,018 I knew it was old, you fool. 551 00:45:13,220 --> 00:45:18,351 Let me appraise you: You're an idiot. A complete idiot. How does it feel? 552 00:45:18,525 --> 00:45:21,688 What is this? 12th century Tuscan? It’s nice. 553 00:45:21,862 --> 00:45:25,696 -l think that's him. That's Bowman. -Oh! 554 00:45:25,866 --> 00:45:29,859 Well, you're a tall drink of water. 555 00:45:30,037 --> 00:45:33,666 -And I just love moisture. -What? 556 00:45:33,841 --> 00:45:38,335 Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Gammy. 557 00:45:38,512 --> 00:45:41,345 -Gammy Num Num. -Dell Bowman. 558 00:45:41,748 --> 00:45:44,273 Don't be ashamed of your feelings. 559 00:45:44,451 --> 00:45:49,548 Your desires are perfectly normal, I assure you. 560 00:45:49,790 --> 00:45:53,692 -What desires? -Well, guess what, Backstreet Boy? 561 00:45:53,994 --> 00:46:00,456 This Girl Scout isn't content to be the Malcolm in your middle. 562 00:46:00,667 --> 00:46:03,568 -Run along, Gammy. Run along. -Touching me! 563 00:46:03,770 --> 00:46:05,829 Pushing me. There's pressure. 564 00:46:06,006 --> 00:46:08,338 -Moving me back. Touching. -Go. Go. 565 00:46:08,509 --> 00:46:11,501 -What's your name? -I'm Barbara. 566 00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,407 Nice to meet you, Barbsie. 567 00:46:15,582 --> 00:46:18,813 -We're never going to make babies. -Right. 568 00:46:18,986 --> 00:46:22,888 I'm having South American art dealers to my house on Sunday. 569 00:46:23,090 --> 00:46:25,991 We won't go anywhere with you, melon head. 570 00:46:26,159 --> 00:46:29,720 -I'd love it if you'd join us. -I'd love it if you'd shut up. 571 00:46:29,897 --> 00:46:32,161 No need to bring anything... 572 00:46:32,332 --> 00:46:35,699 ...except that beautiful smile. Ciao. 573 00:46:35,869 --> 00:46:40,033 “Ciao.” Did you hear that? Italian. Look out for the Italian man. 574 00:46:40,207 --> 00:46:44,200 Fetch! Come on, fetch! 575 00:46:46,947 --> 00:46:51,350 -I'm not comfortable with the new plan. -It’s very easy. Listen. 576 00:46:51,518 --> 00:46:54,419 If you will distract Bowman at the party... 577 00:46:54,588 --> 00:46:56,886 -...loll disguise myself as a-- -No! 578 00:46:57,124 --> 00:46:59,058 I'm Master of Disguise. 579 00:46:59,226 --> 00:47:00,887 -I'm sorry-- -What sorry? 580 00:47:01,061 --> 00:47:05,395 The job description didn't say anything about dating weird old guys. 581 00:47:05,566 --> 00:47:07,830 “Dating weird old guy.” 582 00:47:11,939 --> 00:47:13,600 What? Look. 583 00:47:13,774 --> 00:47:18,234 Look what The Cuteness found. On page 52... 584 00:47:18,412 --> 00:47:22,473 ...the scary monster say, “From time to time, assistants... 585 00:47:22,649 --> 00:47:26,483 ...to level 1 .5 apprentice Masters of Disguise... 586 00:47:26,653 --> 00:47:31,386 ...may be required to date weird old guys.” 587 00:47:31,592 --> 00:47:33,253 Well.... 588 00:47:33,594 --> 00:47:34,856 There you have it. 589 00:47:35,729 --> 00:47:37,629 Their plan was simple: 590 00:47:37,798 --> 00:47:41,791 Jennifer would sneak into the mansion and look for clues... 591 00:47:41,969 --> 00:47:44,597 ...while Pistachio would distract Bowman. 592 00:47:44,771 --> 00:47:47,467 Gentlemen, sorry to keep you waiting. 593 00:47:47,641 --> 00:47:50,269 My dear, I'm delighted you came. 594 00:47:50,477 --> 00:47:53,776 Excuse me, but where is the ladies' room? 595 00:47:53,947 --> 00:47:57,678 In the main house, down the hall, first door on your left. 596 00:47:57,884 --> 00:48:00,614 -Want me to show you? -No, it's okay. 597 00:48:00,787 --> 00:48:02,687 -Hurry back. -Okay. 598 00:48:03,090 --> 00:48:04,489 Nice. 599 00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:10,618 -Lovely woman. -Will you excuse me, please? 600 00:48:12,332 --> 00:48:15,301 We'll party all night long. Right. Having fun. 601 00:48:15,469 --> 00:48:21,465 -Have fun. I must speak to someone-- -Say hello to my little friend. 602 00:48:21,642 --> 00:48:24,543 -What is that? -Don't touch. See that? 603 00:48:24,711 --> 00:48:28,306 That is a rare shrunken head of a tribal chieftain... 604 00:48:28,482 --> 00:48:34,443 ...from the village of Constopolocolus Hollhollbosis.... 605 00:48:47,034 --> 00:48:50,060 I'm telling you, Scooby-Doo is computer-generated. 606 00:48:50,237 --> 00:48:53,297 No way! It looked so real. 607 00:48:53,507 --> 00:48:57,500 I'm very interested in this, but I have to check on something. 608 00:48:57,678 --> 00:48:59,976 Choking?! Heimlich maneuver. 609 00:49:00,147 --> 00:49:05,881 -I'm not-- I'm not-- I'm not choking! -Are you choking or not? I gotta know. 610 00:49:06,053 --> 00:49:09,181 -I'm not choking. -Not choking. My mistake. 611 00:49:09,356 --> 00:49:12,519 He was not choking, and I was doing the Heimlich maneuver. Could be dangerous. 612 00:49:12,693 --> 00:49:17,096 I'm sorry. That's my fault. Someone's not choking... 613 00:49:17,264 --> 00:49:18,663 ...no maneuver! 614 00:49:19,366 --> 00:49:21,459 No maneuver! 615 00:49:23,837 --> 00:49:28,399 Robin, Ricky, it's him. I better take these. 616 00:49:28,875 --> 00:49:29,899 Chicken satay? 617 00:49:30,077 --> 00:49:34,537 And get that little stick stuck in my esophagus? Not a chance. 618 00:49:34,748 --> 00:49:37,182 -What else you got? -Crab cakes. 619 00:49:37,384 --> 00:49:40,615 With your attitude, they should be “crabby” cakes. 620 00:49:40,787 --> 00:49:45,383 Now loll ask you, have you got a little wiener and some tiny nuts? 621 00:49:45,559 --> 00:49:48,687 I could tell by looking at you, that you had... 622 00:49:48,862 --> 00:49:54,425 ...a little wiener and some tiny nuts. Oh, yeah. 623 00:49:56,236 --> 00:49:57,635 Hi! 624 00:49:57,804 --> 00:50:02,434 -l was just looking for the bathroom. -in the living room? 625 00:50:02,609 --> 00:50:05,737 You had lovely furniture and I just thought I’d-- 626 00:50:06,813 --> 00:50:08,212 I’ll show you. 627 00:50:08,381 --> 00:50:12,215 After you freshen up, join me on the terrace for an aperitif. 628 00:50:12,385 --> 00:50:14,945 It's lovely out there. 629 00:50:15,522 --> 00:50:18,150 Oh, yeah! Gotta dance. 630 00:50:42,949 --> 00:50:45,417 Who is this guy? 631 00:50:48,955 --> 00:50:53,324 This idiot is ruining my party. Bring him to me. 632 00:51:08,942 --> 00:51:12,537 Did you see a dark-haired guy run by? 633 00:51:14,181 --> 00:51:16,649 Dark-haired guy run by, chief? 634 00:51:16,950 --> 00:51:21,819 Dark-haired guy go in the water. Shark in the water. 635 00:51:26,193 --> 00:51:28,127 Farewell and adieu... 636 00:51:28,295 --> 00:51:33,062 -...my wee Spanish ladies. -What are you talking about? 637 00:51:34,968 --> 00:51:35,992 What? 638 00:51:38,305 --> 00:51:39,329 What? 639 00:51:39,706 --> 00:51:44,643 I'm talking about a great white, chief. Two ton of him. 640 00:51:44,811 --> 00:51:47,473 Twenty, maybe 25-footer. 641 00:51:48,982 --> 00:51:51,007 There's no shark here. 642 00:51:51,184 --> 00:51:53,652 You sure about that, chief? 643 00:51:53,820 --> 00:51:56,687 You ever seen a shark's eyes, chief? 644 00:51:56,857 --> 00:52:02,420 Kind of like dolls' eyes, all black and lifeless-like. 645 00:52:02,629 --> 00:52:05,223 Twenty nine kids go in the water. 646 00:52:05,398 --> 00:52:08,526 Twenty two kids come out of the water. 647 00:52:08,702 --> 00:52:11,535 The ice cream man, he take the rest. 648 00:52:11,705 --> 00:52:15,197 April the 9th, half past 4 p.m. 649 00:52:15,742 --> 00:52:18,609 Wait. Show me your arm. 650 00:52:18,778 --> 00:52:23,215 You want to see my arm, chief? That's my arm right there, chiefly. 651 00:52:26,553 --> 00:52:30,546 Stop becoming another person. Stop becoming another person.... 652 00:52:30,757 --> 00:52:32,349 It is him! 653 00:52:35,228 --> 00:52:38,561 I run away from the big blue henchies! 654 00:52:43,169 --> 00:52:46,036 -l stepped on a cow pie! -Forget about it. 655 00:52:46,206 --> 00:52:49,607 I told you he wasn't here. Let’s go back. 656 00:52:57,484 --> 00:52:59,452 Fresh air. 657 00:53:03,056 --> 00:53:05,547 I told you! There he is! 658 00:53:32,018 --> 00:53:37,684 Hello. My name's Constable Mueller from the Bavarian Tax Authority. 659 00:53:37,857 --> 00:53:38,949 Hello. 660 00:53:40,527 --> 00:53:43,223 I'm here looking for Ms. Jennifer Baker. 661 00:53:43,530 --> 00:53:46,294 She owes a substantial amount of taxes... 662 00:53:46,466 --> 00:53:51,335 ...from her time as an exchange student at the University of Heidelstrudel. 663 00:53:51,504 --> 00:53:54,598 I just need to ask her a couple of questions. 664 00:53:54,774 --> 00:54:00,144 Not going to bite her. Could I just speak with her for just one moment? 665 00:54:00,313 --> 00:54:02,838 Not going to bite. 666 00:54:06,653 --> 00:54:08,348 -Freak. -Yes? 667 00:54:08,521 --> 00:54:09,988 Don't move. 668 00:54:10,557 --> 00:54:14,516 -Wait right here. -Yes, of course. Wait right here. 669 00:54:14,694 --> 00:54:19,495 Doesn't sound too promising. Maybe it's time to go to plan B. 670 00:54:19,666 --> 00:54:22,226 You need to relax. Yes, you do. 671 00:54:22,402 --> 00:54:25,997 God, no. I just-- I don't really like being touched. 672 00:54:27,474 --> 00:54:30,739 -You dropped your purse. -Thank you. I got it. 673 00:54:30,910 --> 00:54:32,673 Okay. 674 00:54:32,846 --> 00:54:36,976 -Let's see what's in here, shall we? -There's nothing inside. 675 00:54:37,150 --> 00:54:42,087 I had a little cold, so there's medicine for that. It’s gross in there. 676 00:54:42,288 --> 00:54:46,224 Why don't you come with me, my dear? This way. Yes. 677 00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:50,654 Where did you come from? Where's the other guy? 678 00:54:50,830 --> 00:54:54,732 Suave. Terry Suave's the name. London, Scotland Yard. 679 00:54:54,934 --> 00:54:55,992 What do you want? 680 00:54:56,202 --> 00:54:58,864 It's what the British government wants. 681 00:54:59,039 --> 00:55:02,873 And that's a Miss Jennifer Baker-- At her service.... 682 00:55:04,844 --> 00:55:07,870 In regards to Operation Minty Hippo. 683 00:55:08,415 --> 00:55:10,349 Minty Hippo? What is that? 684 00:55:10,517 --> 00:55:13,714 I'd tell you, but it'd be a real ding-dong-ding-wad... 685 00:55:13,887 --> 00:55:17,755 ...I need a Charleston Chew. Get it? Got it? Doubt it. 686 00:55:17,924 --> 00:55:22,224 -It’s time for you to go. -Put a squeeze on your chat box. 687 00:55:22,595 --> 00:55:24,790 -What? -This is what you're doing. 688 00:55:24,964 --> 00:55:27,956 This is what I want you to do. Any questions? 689 00:55:28,201 --> 00:55:32,729 -Did you just tell me to shut up? -Yes, you catch on straightaway. 690 00:55:32,906 --> 00:55:36,467 The muscle. Yes, of course. Familiar scenario. 691 00:55:36,709 --> 00:55:38,267 You want to get physical? 692 00:55:38,445 --> 00:55:41,471 A blow to the dewy gumbel would start things. 693 00:55:41,648 --> 00:55:46,779 Finally, a smack to the didgy dodge. Did someone yell, “Timber”? 694 00:55:46,986 --> 00:55:49,648 Listen. It is okay. 695 00:55:49,856 --> 00:55:52,051 I did receive a letter. 696 00:55:52,292 --> 00:55:57,594 She received a letter. Get it? Got it? Doubt it. 697 00:55:57,764 --> 00:55:59,755 Good day to you, sir. 698 00:56:03,603 --> 00:56:05,571 Follow them. 699 00:56:13,446 --> 00:56:15,812 I believe that Dell Bowman... 700 00:56:15,982 --> 00:56:20,009 ...has forced my papa to become a Master of Disguise once more... 701 00:56:20,186 --> 00:56:24,885 ...in order to steal rare treasures from around the world. 702 00:56:26,693 --> 00:56:32,962 My Disguisey instincts tell me that they're in the mansion somewhere. 703 00:56:33,166 --> 00:56:35,862 -My tight blue sweater! -Sorry, Trent. 704 00:56:36,035 --> 00:56:40,199 -Trent? Who is this? -Hey, baby. We were just-- 705 00:56:40,406 --> 00:56:43,637 Sophia! You, here, with Trent? What are the odds? 706 00:56:43,810 --> 00:56:46,404 Shut up, clown. 707 00:56:46,613 --> 00:56:49,639 -Leave him alone, you bully! -Don't worry. 708 00:56:50,016 --> 00:56:54,851 -The slapping time, she comes. -I'm gonna enjoy this. 709 00:56:55,054 --> 00:56:57,852 Pistachio, it demoralizes your opponent... 710 00:56:58,024 --> 00:57:00,959 ...to repeat the phrase, “Who's your daddy?” 711 00:57:01,127 --> 00:57:02,424 Yes. 712 00:57:02,629 --> 00:57:05,462 Who's your daddy, Trent? 713 00:57:07,634 --> 00:57:09,499 Who's your daddy? 714 00:57:13,706 --> 00:57:15,333 Having fun now, Trent? 715 00:57:17,010 --> 00:57:18,637 How do you do? 716 00:57:35,862 --> 00:57:37,659 Oh, Pistachio! 717 00:57:39,499 --> 00:57:43,765 Thank you for saving me from that horrible person. 718 00:57:43,970 --> 00:57:46,530 Let’s go, Jennifer. 719 00:57:50,009 --> 00:57:53,740 Hey, my little waiter friend, Pistac-- 720 00:58:01,421 --> 00:58:04,584 Thanks for letting me borrow the Apollo for my tour. 721 00:58:04,757 --> 00:58:07,590 No problem, Miss Simpson. Thanks for the CDs. 722 00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:10,354 I hope you like them. 723 00:58:19,038 --> 00:58:21,506 Jessica Simpson. 724 00:58:23,509 --> 00:58:26,444 You seem tired, Frabbrizio. 725 00:58:26,613 --> 00:58:27,875 Don't worry. 726 00:58:28,047 --> 00:58:29,810 It's almost over. 727 00:58:30,016 --> 00:58:32,041 You're insane! 728 00:58:34,821 --> 00:58:38,279 -Thoroughly insane. -Am l? 729 00:58:52,972 --> 00:58:55,304 He's asleep with The Cuteness. 730 00:58:55,541 --> 00:59:01,571 I want to get something off my chest. Today, when I saw you dressed up... 731 00:59:01,748 --> 00:59:04,080 ...like the crazy, hairy guy... 732 00:59:04,250 --> 00:59:07,686 ...at that moment, I really thought you were this... 733 00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:11,651 ...pathetic, insane, absurd... 734 00:59:11,824 --> 00:59:14,657 ...spastic little man. 735 00:59:14,827 --> 00:59:20,322 And now I believe that you can do anything. 736 00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:23,298 That's very nice, but not true. 737 00:59:23,469 --> 00:59:29,669 I can't turn mud into oatmeal, or bulled a spaceship that will travel to Pluto. 738 00:59:29,876 --> 00:59:35,508 But you can find a way to rescue your mama and your papa. 739 00:59:36,082 --> 00:59:39,609 Yes. Yes, I believe now too. 740 00:59:39,786 --> 00:59:44,189 Your pep talk has transformed me, tiny butter-bottom. I mean, Jennifer. 741 00:59:44,357 --> 00:59:46,723 You said, “Tiny butter-bottom.” 742 00:59:46,893 --> 00:59:51,125 Did l, the future mother of my babies? I mean, Jennifer? 743 00:59:51,331 --> 00:59:53,959 You said, “Future mother of my babies.” 744 00:59:54,133 --> 00:59:58,229 Did l, fat-cat mama with the red dress on? I mean-- 745 00:59:58,404 --> 01:00:01,840 -You said, “Fat-cat”-- -l don't know why I said that. 746 01:00:02,008 --> 01:00:06,502 It just was the emotion. It just.... 747 01:00:07,347 --> 01:00:10,373 My first kiss. 748 01:00:10,817 --> 01:00:14,412 I must apologize, I was a little forward. 749 01:00:14,620 --> 01:00:18,716 But perhaps you enjoyed a little bit? 750 01:00:18,891 --> 01:00:21,758 You know what time it is? 751 01:00:24,897 --> 01:00:29,027 No, I don't know. I don't know what time it is. 752 01:00:29,635 --> 01:00:31,330 Time to make a plan. 753 01:00:31,537 --> 01:00:34,506 Ah, yes. Yes. 754 01:00:34,674 --> 01:00:38,735 Back to business. The planning time, she comes. 755 01:00:38,945 --> 01:00:40,640 Okay. 756 01:00:41,180 --> 01:00:46,174 -All right. -It’s okay. It’s okay. Nice. 757 01:00:46,352 --> 01:00:48,752 -Fresh too. Night. -Night. 758 01:00:49,055 --> 01:00:51,580 -Night now. -Good night. 759 01:01:02,668 --> 01:01:04,465 The Cuteness was on guard. 760 01:01:04,670 --> 01:01:08,037 But he'd be no match against Bowman's henchmen... 761 01:01:08,207 --> 01:01:12,109 ...who had orders to kidnap Jennifer. Time was running out... 762 01:01:12,278 --> 01:01:17,773 ...as Bowman put the final touches on his evil scheme. 763 01:01:18,618 --> 01:01:23,578 Grandfather, please, I need your help. I am out of ideas. 764 01:01:31,764 --> 01:01:35,063 Grandfather, you are a big floating head. 765 01:01:35,268 --> 01:01:38,431 I'm a prerecorded hologram. What's your question? 766 01:01:38,604 --> 01:01:42,631 I have not mustered enough Energico to overcome our enemies. 767 01:01:42,809 --> 01:01:44,936 I was hoping you'd be here. 768 01:01:45,111 --> 01:01:48,911 -What you doing here? -My mom's missing, but I found this. 769 01:01:49,081 --> 01:01:51,982 -Bowman's cigar. -Is my mom okay? 770 01:01:52,351 --> 01:01:54,819 She's just out buying cigars now. 771 01:01:54,987 --> 01:01:56,352 We have work to do! 772 01:01:56,522 --> 01:02:00,151 I need a disguise to get into the Bowman mansion. 773 01:02:00,326 --> 01:02:02,760 -How about if you dress--? -Silence! 774 01:02:02,929 --> 01:02:05,693 Grandpa, why don't we give him a chance? 775 01:02:05,865 --> 01:02:08,425 Sometimes out of the mouth of babies.... 776 01:02:08,634 --> 01:02:10,829 All right, but quietly. 777 01:02:11,003 --> 01:02:13,631 You never know who might be listening. 778 01:02:13,806 --> 01:02:16,969 That's crazy. So crazy-- 779 01:02:17,143 --> 01:02:20,977 It just might work! 780 01:02:22,982 --> 01:02:28,352 Feast your eyes! Some of the world's greatest treasures. The Liberty Bell. 781 01:02:28,521 --> 01:02:31,615 There's Mona Lisa. The ruby slippers. 782 01:02:31,824 --> 01:02:34,725 A Betsy Ross original. How about that David? 783 01:02:34,894 --> 01:02:38,455 We got Bruce Willis' hairpiece from Die Hard 2. 784 01:02:38,631 --> 01:02:43,000 One of my prized possessions here, the Apollo 11 Lunar Module. 785 01:02:43,169 --> 01:02:45,330 Yep. One small step for man. 786 01:02:45,872 --> 01:02:50,241 Black Mark Ebay has a policy of not asking how items are obtained. 787 01:02:50,409 --> 01:02:53,572 But in your case, I am curious. 788 01:02:53,813 --> 01:02:57,010 Italy's own Frabbrizio Disguisey. 789 01:02:57,183 --> 01:02:59,845 Okay, so it is the Master of Disguise. 790 01:03:00,019 --> 01:03:02,351 Want to see him? 791 01:03:08,694 --> 01:03:13,495 -So you're gonna auction him off? -Too easy. 792 01:03:16,502 --> 01:03:18,402 -It’s you. -Right. 793 01:03:18,571 --> 01:03:22,166 I'm going to Krazy Glue this to Frabbrizio's head. 794 01:03:22,341 --> 01:03:27,506 Then tomorrow, loll push him over a cliff. Everyone will think I'm dead. 795 01:03:27,680 --> 01:03:31,013 It's called the perfect crime. Ever heard of it? 796 01:03:31,183 --> 01:03:33,777 Let me show you the rest of the items. 797 01:03:33,953 --> 01:03:36,387 Mr. Bowman, no cherry pie? 798 01:03:37,757 --> 01:03:39,452 Later, Palmer. Come on. 799 01:03:41,260 --> 01:03:44,627 I don't even know where this cherry pie came from. 800 01:03:44,830 --> 01:03:46,354 Go figure. 801 01:04:03,349 --> 01:04:06,910 These cherries are so ticklish. 802 01:04:07,086 --> 01:04:08,986 And slippery. 803 01:04:14,594 --> 01:04:17,358 The Cuteness, this is dangerous. Go home. 804 01:04:30,810 --> 01:04:33,904 It's Cherry Pie Man! Get him! 805 01:04:47,393 --> 01:04:51,090 Jennifer was forced to be the Black Mark EBay spokes model... 806 01:04:51,263 --> 01:04:54,460 ...as our nation's treasures were auctioned off. 807 01:04:54,634 --> 01:04:56,659 The famous “We the People. “ 808 01:04:56,836 --> 01:04:58,804 Yo, Doug. Check this out. 809 01:05:03,676 --> 01:05:09,308 Did it ever occur to you that this cherry pie thing was Frabbrizio's son?! 810 01:05:10,483 --> 01:05:12,212 No matter. 811 01:05:12,451 --> 01:05:15,352 Oh, by the way, Steve, your wife called. 812 01:05:15,521 --> 01:05:19,218 -Oh, that's great. Thank you, sir. -Sure. 813 01:05:19,425 --> 01:05:22,519 You're not married! 814 01:05:25,297 --> 01:05:26,924 Pistachio? 815 01:05:28,334 --> 01:05:30,427 Now we got you. 816 01:05:30,636 --> 01:05:33,730 How did you know it was me? 817 01:05:47,753 --> 01:05:49,243 Who's your daddy? 818 01:06:20,786 --> 01:06:24,483 This little dude is slapping these ninja guys senseless! 819 01:06:29,228 --> 01:06:31,788 -l set you free! -That's my belt! 820 01:06:32,798 --> 01:06:34,925 -Wait! Ninjas! -Out of the way! 821 01:06:38,204 --> 01:06:40,297 Anyone who stays gets a raise! 822 01:06:42,441 --> 01:06:44,773 No way! He slap us silly! 823 01:06:45,311 --> 01:06:47,609 You may want to see this. 824 01:06:47,813 --> 01:06:49,576 Smorgasbord. 825 01:06:54,420 --> 01:06:55,512 Mama, look out! 826 01:07:03,062 --> 01:07:06,463 No more caramel corn for me. 827 01:07:09,068 --> 01:07:12,629 -Pistachio. -Grandpapa. 828 01:07:12,805 --> 01:07:16,138 I wanted to witness your first Disguisey victory. 829 01:07:16,308 --> 01:07:19,141 Hey, Disguiseys, it's not over yet. 830 01:07:19,311 --> 01:07:22,041 First you will see who is your daddy. 831 01:07:24,617 --> 01:07:29,645 I was going to throw him off a cliff. Instead, loll have him kill you. 832 01:07:41,934 --> 01:07:44,528 -Papa. Papa! -l am not your Papa. 833 01:07:44,703 --> 01:07:48,161 He must have been pulled to the dark side of Energico. 834 01:07:48,340 --> 01:07:51,207 There's a dark side? Exactly like Star Wars? 835 01:07:51,377 --> 01:07:56,781 -l am Dell Bowman! -No, Papa, you are not Bowman. 836 01:07:56,982 --> 01:08:02,648 Take off your mask. Let's all go grab a bite to eat at the Olive Garden. 837 01:08:03,222 --> 01:08:06,316 I am Dell Bowman! 838 01:08:06,725 --> 01:08:09,990 I have a secret underground lair... 839 01:08:10,162 --> 01:08:13,495 ...filled with rare objects! 840 01:08:13,732 --> 01:08:16,132 Because of you Disguiseys... 841 01:08:16,302 --> 01:08:20,830 ...I spent 20 years in the Palermo State Penitentiary. 842 01:08:21,006 --> 01:08:22,837 I hate you! 843 01:08:23,242 --> 01:08:25,733 -But, Papa-- -Pistachio! 844 01:08:25,911 --> 01:08:28,106 This is between father and son. 845 01:08:28,314 --> 01:08:31,511 -l am not your papa! -Pistachio, be careful! 846 01:08:31,684 --> 01:08:35,620 -You are my papa! I swear you are. -No, I am not! 847 01:08:45,564 --> 01:08:47,896 -Goodbye, peanut! -No, Papa! 848 01:08:51,704 --> 01:08:54,104 -Use the Energico, Pistachio! -Yes. 849 01:08:54,273 --> 01:08:57,037 Papa Bowman. Please, don't you remember? 850 01:08:57,209 --> 01:09:00,406 I'd put the underwear on my head. You'd take it off. 851 01:09:00,579 --> 01:09:03,139 Those were the days. Right? 852 01:09:03,716 --> 01:09:06,583 What are you talking about? 853 01:09:06,752 --> 01:09:10,882 Underwear coming.... Stuck in butt crack.... 854 01:09:14,860 --> 01:09:19,126 His underwear's on his head. Just like when he was a little boy! 855 01:09:19,298 --> 01:09:24,793 -Take those underwear off your head! -Take that mask off your face. 856 01:09:29,909 --> 01:09:32,036 Papa! 857 01:09:33,579 --> 01:09:36,377 Moustache, Papa! Yes! 858 01:09:36,982 --> 01:09:40,213 The nose! Yes! 859 01:09:40,686 --> 01:09:45,885 Get the eye. Another! Yes! Papa! Papa! Yes! 860 01:09:50,963 --> 01:09:52,590 My son. 861 01:09:52,798 --> 01:09:55,096 It's Frabbrizio! 862 01:09:57,102 --> 01:09:59,297 Pull him up! 863 01:10:01,140 --> 01:10:04,007 -The Disguisey tradition. -Papa free! 864 01:10:04,209 --> 01:10:05,938 So we freed Mama. 865 01:10:06,111 --> 01:10:09,945 Jennifer became Mrs. Disguisey. And Barney got a papa. 866 01:10:10,115 --> 01:10:16,111 Finally, Pistachio became a Master of Disguise. 867 01:10:16,755 --> 01:10:18,814 There was one thing left to do. 868 01:10:20,359 --> 01:10:23,294 We had to get the Constitution from Bowman. 869 01:10:26,265 --> 01:10:27,664 Can I get you anything? 870 01:10:27,866 --> 01:10:30,664 What do you get a man who has everything? 871 01:10:30,836 --> 01:10:34,101 I can't believe it, it's President Bush! 872 01:10:34,273 --> 01:10:35,331 What? 873 01:10:35,774 --> 01:10:37,503 Good to see you. 874 01:10:37,676 --> 01:10:41,476 -Mr. President? -Folks around here call me “W”... 875 01:10:41,647 --> 01:10:45,048 ...but you can call me King George. 876 01:10:48,620 --> 01:10:50,451 That was a joke, son. 877 01:10:50,622 --> 01:10:53,022 Mind if we had a picture together? 878 01:10:53,258 --> 01:10:57,194 Take your time. I'm ready. Say, “Who's your daddy?” 879 01:10:57,363 --> 01:10:59,695 -Sir? -This is what you're doing. 880 01:10:59,865 --> 01:11:02,197 This is what I want you to do. Questions? 881 01:11:02,368 --> 01:11:04,029 It's you! 882 01:11:04,203 --> 01:11:09,197 Yes. Yes, it is me, the Master of Disguise. 883 01:11:11,176 --> 01:11:13,041 -Get him! -We're Disguiseys. 884 01:11:13,212 --> 01:11:16,545 -l think I stepped in a cow pie. -Forget about it. 885 01:11:16,715 --> 01:11:19,047 Bring on the heat. 886 01:11:19,284 --> 01:11:21,775 I came to get the Constitution back. 887 01:11:23,322 --> 01:11:26,018 And this one's for you, chiefy! 888 01:11:33,365 --> 01:11:35,299 Is he dead? 889 01:11:38,904 --> 01:11:41,304 Bowman, he make the stinky. 890 01:11:42,074 --> 01:11:44,065 -Who's! -Your! 891 01:11:44,243 --> 01:11:46,006 Daddy! 892 01:12:22,748 --> 01:12:26,240 Say hello to my little friend. 893 01:12:31,990 --> 01:12:35,118 By the authority of the Disguisey tradition... 894 01:12:35,294 --> 01:12:37,228 ...page 73 of the pop-up book... 895 01:12:37,396 --> 01:12:40,797 ...I hereby pronounce you wife, son... 896 01:12:40,966 --> 01:12:45,266 ...and Master of Disguise. 897 01:12:45,437 --> 01:12:48,099 Bravo, my son, bravo. 898 01:12:53,245 --> 01:12:57,272 I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got there, loll never know. 899 01:12:57,449 --> 01:13:00,680 I'd like to spin you on your spinely-spobbly spibbly. 900 01:13:00,886 --> 01:13:04,617 Oh, baby going to cry? His mommy called? 901 01:13:09,595 --> 01:13:11,654 And cut. 902 01:13:13,899 --> 01:13:17,335 -Run, Jennifer, run! -Pistachio! 903 01:13:17,503 --> 01:13:18,697 And... 904 01:13:18,904 --> 01:13:20,633 ...action! 905 01:13:33,218 --> 01:13:37,416 I like the juice. You like the juice? 906 01:13:37,623 --> 01:13:41,115 Sometimes that Master of Disguise go away. 907 01:13:41,293 --> 01:13:43,693 Sometimes he don't go away. 908 01:13:43,929 --> 01:13:45,226 Okay, now... 909 01:13:45,430 --> 01:13:47,796 ...the Master of Disguise... 910 01:13:47,966 --> 01:13:51,527 ...can he change into, say... 911 01:13:52,237 --> 01:13:55,331 -...Barbra Streisand? -Of course. 912 01:13:55,507 --> 01:13:59,637 -Britney Spears? -You're a sick man. 913 01:14:00,679 --> 01:14:02,806 The Olsen twins? 914 01:14:15,027 --> 01:14:18,258 There's a nice, cool little moustache there... 915 01:14:18,463 --> 01:14:23,400 ...on the big, bald, mean guy's face. That's refreshing. 916 01:14:23,569 --> 01:14:24,763 Hold! 917 01:14:24,970 --> 01:14:26,437 Hold! 918 01:14:26,605 --> 01:14:28,004 Hold! 919 01:14:28,173 --> 01:14:29,902 Unleash hell. 920 01:14:58,570 --> 01:15:02,131 I never knew if I’d see Jenny again. 921 01:15:02,307 --> 01:15:05,299 -I’ve seen your type before. -What are you doing? 922 01:15:05,510 --> 01:15:09,241 I'm Gammy Num Num. Then take a gammy of my nummy-nums. 923 01:15:09,448 --> 01:15:13,407 We don't want to go anywhere with you, melon head. 924 01:15:21,159 --> 01:15:23,218 You filthy thief! 925 01:15:23,395 --> 01:15:27,593 Take that! And that! And that! 926 01:15:32,838 --> 01:15:35,500 Buttercup says you are a bad man. 927 01:15:35,674 --> 01:15:37,403 I'm not the dummy, he is. 928 01:15:37,576 --> 01:15:42,070 Can you believe how stiff he is? And I'm the one made of wood. 929 01:15:54,126 --> 01:15:57,323 I don't want any trou-bubbles! 930 01:15:58,664 --> 01:16:00,427 You got a little wiener-- 931 01:16:00,599 --> 01:16:03,124 Get the bee out. I won't play games. 932 01:16:03,302 --> 01:16:07,762 -You got a little wiener-- Go away. -Got a little bee. 933 01:16:07,939 --> 01:16:11,636 There's no wiener. There's just a bee. 934 01:16:14,079 --> 01:16:19,483 I still have the greatest anti-Disguisey weapon of all. 935 01:16:22,521 --> 01:16:26,617 There's a dark side? Exactly like Star Wars? 936 01:16:30,862 --> 01:16:34,195 -What's going on? -Pistachio's in grave danger. 937 01:16:34,399 --> 01:16:35,991 Pistachio, come back! 938 01:16:37,869 --> 01:16:39,200 A bottom. 939 01:16:49,114 --> 01:16:52,481 Yes. I see now. 940 01:16:52,651 --> 01:16:56,644 Love is thicker than your behinds. 941 01:16:58,223 --> 01:17:00,214 Look what Daddy made for you. 942 01:17:00,392 --> 01:17:04,658 A little sweater. I knit it last night for you, little Buttercup. 943 01:17:04,830 --> 01:17:08,698 My name is Gluteus Maximus. Are you not entertained? 944 01:17:08,867 --> 01:17:12,234 Why are your arms around the tush queen? 945 01:17:12,404 --> 01:17:16,397 Wait, I screwed it up. She's the cake. You're the queen. 946 01:17:16,575 --> 01:17:21,069 And remember, Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. 947 01:17:21,246 --> 01:17:26,741 No one really had a clue what he was doing up there in the first place. 948 01:17:39,164 --> 01:17:42,861 -Now show me some toys. -Toys? Yes, of course. Toys. Here. 949 01:17:43,034 --> 01:17:47,368 How about this? This is the world's first giant yo-yo. 950 01:17:47,539 --> 01:17:51,566 Oopsie-cadabra. It looks more like a no-yo. 951 01:18:06,324 --> 01:18:08,121 Hello? 952 01:18:08,493 --> 01:18:10,120 What? 953 01:18:16,968 --> 01:18:18,595 Hello? 954 01:18:27,412 --> 01:18:29,141 What? 955 01:18:29,514 --> 01:18:32,506 Who--? Who are you? 956 01:18:32,751 --> 01:18:36,585 What were you doing in the slapping dummy? 957 01:18:36,755 --> 01:18:38,416 Slap! 958 01:18:38,757 --> 01:18:44,195 Come back here, slapping-dummy man. It was you all along, all the time. 959 01:18:44,362 --> 01:18:48,526 You were the one. I'm going to get you. I'm going to get you. 960 01:18:48,767 --> 01:18:52,203 Now, all right, all right. Let’s not fight. 961 01:18:52,370 --> 01:18:58,002 I just want to talk, okay? Now, listen. I just want to talk to you. 962 01:18:58,176 --> 01:18:59,871 I slap you! 963 01:19:03,248 --> 01:19:05,375 Come back here! 964 01:19:06,384 --> 01:19:10,115 Come back here, slapping-dummy man. 965 01:19:13,558 --> 01:19:15,048 I’ll get you, Pistachio. 966 01:19:15,293 --> 01:19:18,524 -Please, slapping-dummy man. -loll get you. 967 01:19:18,697 --> 01:19:21,689 -l didn't mean it. -loll get you, Pistachio. 968 01:19:21,867 --> 01:19:25,769 -l didn't mean it, slapping-dummy man. -loll get you. 969 01:19:26,638 --> 01:19:30,199 So we find a nest, and then we started training. 970 01:19:30,375 --> 01:19:34,038 And then we go to the slapping dummy, no offense. 971 01:19:34,212 --> 01:19:39,081 But you gave me quite a workout a few times. You must really love to slap. 972 01:19:39,284 --> 01:19:42,219 -l love to slap. -Yes, you love to slap, yes. 973 01:19:42,387 --> 01:19:46,050 What are you people still doing here? You saw the movie. 974 01:19:46,224 --> 01:19:49,716 I'm trying to talk. All right? Goodbye. 975 01:19:49,895 --> 01:19:51,726 All right, so anyway.... 976 01:19:52,197 --> 01:19:55,189 -Pistachio, I'm sad. -What is the matter? 977 01:19:55,367 --> 01:19:58,768 -l want to say goodbye. -All right. We fade up. 978 01:19:58,937 --> 01:20:01,371 -Goodbye. -Goodbye. 979 01:20:06,678 --> 01:20:08,441 No more dog food. 980 01:20:08,613 --> 01:20:10,012 Turtle, turtle!