1
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(ORGAN PLAYING)
2
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(CHOIR VOCALIZING)
3
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(SINGING) Let me tell you a secret
4
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Put it in your heart and keep it
5
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Something that I want you to know
6
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Do something for me
7
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Listen to my simple story
8
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And maybe we'll have something to show
9
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You tell me you're cold on the inside
10
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How can the outside world
11
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Be a place that your heart can embrace
12
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Be good to yourself 'cause nobody else
13
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Has the power to make you happy
14
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How can I help you?
15
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Please let me try to
16
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I can heal the pain
17
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That you're feeling inside
18
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Whenever you want me
19
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Know that I will be waiting for the day
20
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:07,580
That you say you'll be mine
21
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(VOCALIZING)
22
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(HEAL THE PAIN BY GEORGE MICHAEL
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)
23
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(SINGING ALONG)
24
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ED: You look like you need another.
25
00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:27,060
What are you, psychic?
26
00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:28,190
Look deep into my eyes.
27
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(CHUCKLES)
28
00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:32,150
Yeah. You're feeling very thirsty.
29
00:02:32,650 --> 00:02:34,230
Oh, you are very good.
30
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,610
And...
31
00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:37,990
Oh, yeah. This is your favorite song.
32
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:39,410
That was so psychic.
33
00:02:39,490 --> 00:02:41,570
No, that was you
playing it four times in a row.
34
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:43,990
Well, love me, love George Michael.
35
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We're kindred spirits.
36
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:46,450
How so?
37
00:02:46,540 --> 00:02:47,540
Well, we're both singers.
38
00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:49,750
Er, we're both famously misunderstood
39
00:02:49,830 --> 00:02:51,500
and underappreciated in our time.
40
00:02:51,580 --> 00:02:52,960
But all that's gonna change,
because tomorrow
41
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,380
I've got a big audition for the West End.
42
00:02:54,460 --> 00:02:56,760
And you, er, came into town for it?
43
00:02:57,420 --> 00:02:59,800
No. I, er, moved out on my flatmate today.
44
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,390
So, what, you're gonna move back home?
45
00:03:01,470 --> 00:03:02,720
Oh, kill me now.
46
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,390
Uh-oh. Family issues.
47
00:03:04,470 --> 00:03:06,430
Yeah. Let me count the ways.
48
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,230
Erm, anger, shame,
resentment, embarrassment...
49
00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:11,150
And that's just my mum.
Do you wanna hear about my sister?
50
00:03:11,230 --> 00:03:12,230
-No.
-(LAUGHS)
51
00:03:12,310 --> 00:03:13,770
Okay. So, what's your plan?
52
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,360
I'll figure it out, you know.
53
00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:16,780
It'll be fine. Something will turn up.
54
00:03:17,490 --> 00:03:18,740
Or someone.
55
00:03:21,780 --> 00:03:22,990
Morning, gorgeous.
56
00:03:24,910 --> 00:03:28,370
This bed, it's like sleeping
on a pile of kittens.
57
00:03:29,540 --> 00:03:32,170
If that thought's comfortable
58
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:34,090
and not completely horrifying.
59
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I'm gonna dash down the street.
60
00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,050
I need some ginger root, fresh beets
61
00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:39,260
for my famous breakfast power juice.
62
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:40,880
Cool.
63
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,720
And a cappuccino while you wait.
64
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:43,850
Wow.
65
00:03:43,930 --> 00:03:46,060
And lashings of hot water
if you fancy a shower.
66
00:03:46,470 --> 00:03:47,470
Bliss.
67
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,140
I'll be right back.
68
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:51,140
(SIGHS DEEPLY, CHUCKLES)
69
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(DOOR OPENS)
70
00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:53,480
WOMAN: Surprise!
71
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,900
Guess who got back from
the conference a day early.
72
00:03:55,980 --> 00:03:57,280
God, I've missed you.
73
00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,690
(BOTH SCREAM)
74
00:03:58,780 --> 00:03:59,780
God, who are you?
75
00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:02,570
-I'm the... Plumber.
-"The plumber"?
76
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:03,660
This isn't what it looks like.
77
00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:05,160
I just... I just...
I needed a bed for the night.
78
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,330
-And he...
-Ed.
79
00:04:06,410 --> 00:04:08,120
Ed was just so understanding.
80
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:09,910
(STAMMERS) I've got lots of issues,
all right?
81
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,540
Accommodation, firstly,
'cause I've sort of run out of options
82
00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:13,370
because I'm really messed up
for a number of reasons.
83
00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:14,540
-And he...
-Ed.
84
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:15,880
Ed just seemed to get that.
85
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:17,880
Did you shag him?
86
00:04:18,130 --> 00:04:19,880
(LAST CHRISTMAS BY WHAM! PLAYING)
87
00:04:20,130 --> 00:04:21,630
(GRUNTING)
88
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,340
Look, you took my bag!
89
00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:26,720
(GASPS) Ow!
90
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,520
Why is my life so shit?
91
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,600
(LAST CHRISTMAS BY WHAM!
CONTINUES PLAYING)
92
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,130
Ugh.
93
00:05:25,860 --> 00:05:27,490
(TOY HORN TOOTING COMICALLY)
94
00:05:27,570 --> 00:05:29,410
It's not funny, Klaus.
95
00:05:29,490 --> 00:05:31,540
It's incredible how unfunny it is.
96
00:05:39,170 --> 00:05:41,000
(SHOP BELL JINGLING)
97
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,350
(SIGHS)
98
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:56,770
(MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)
99
00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:00,060
Christ.
100
00:06:00,150 --> 00:06:01,270
(CHILDREN SINGING
LAST CHRISTMAS ON SPEAKERS)
101
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,610
(GROANS) I'm sorry, George.
102
00:06:04,570 --> 00:06:05,740
(EXHALES)
103
00:06:05,820 --> 00:06:09,030
Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy.
104
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:16,580
(DECORATIONS RATTLING)
105
00:06:21,090 --> 00:06:22,090
Hey, you're early.
106
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,170
You are never early. What are you up to?
107
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:26,470
Accommodation issues.
108
00:06:26,550 --> 00:06:28,840
Hmm. So the usual.
What did you do this time?
109
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,010
Fry someone's fish?
110
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:31,640
No, no. That was last week.
111
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:33,390
-(HAIRDRYER WHIRRING)
-(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING)
112
00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:37,730
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES, POWERS DOWN)
113
00:06:39,940 --> 00:06:42,730
You are going to run out
of friends with sofas.
114
00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:43,940
You have been sick.
115
00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:45,530
You need to take care of yourself better.
116
00:06:45,610 --> 00:06:46,650
Santa, I didn't know you cared.
117
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,740
I don't care.
118
00:06:47,820 --> 00:06:50,070
I just don't want you to drop dead
in front of the customers.
119
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,410
I don't have enough tinsel
to cover your corpse.
120
00:06:52,910 --> 00:06:53,910
Get to work, elf.
121
00:06:57,410 --> 00:06:58,620
(GROANS)
122
00:07:00,540 --> 00:07:01,670
I don't know.
123
00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:03,000
You're gonna have to help me decide.
124
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,380
They're both so darling.
125
00:07:04,460 --> 00:07:05,590
I tell you what.
126
00:07:05,670 --> 00:07:07,970
Let's pretend Mary had twins,
and you can get both.
127
00:07:08,050 --> 00:07:09,680
-(LAUGHS)
-(CHUCKLES)
128
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:10,840
You must just love your job.
129
00:07:11,340 --> 00:07:13,180
-Love it.
-It's like being in a dream.
130
00:07:13,260 --> 00:07:16,600
All the joys and the love of Christmas
131
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,310
every single day of the year.
132
00:07:19,390 --> 00:07:20,940
Now, which baby is it going to be?
133
00:07:21,350 --> 00:07:23,020
He's gorgeous. But this one...
134
00:07:23,650 --> 00:07:25,280
He looks like he's having a lot of fun.
135
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,820
Oh, yeah. And a lot more to come.
136
00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:28,530
-(BOTH LAUGH)
-But this one...
137
00:07:28,610 --> 00:07:30,610
Look at him. He's more like my idea of...
138
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,120
-Jesus Christ.
-You think so, too?
139
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,200
Katarina!
140
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:34,280
Erm, excuse me for just one moment.
141
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:35,490
-Santa!
-I need a word.
142
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:36,910
I'm at work. You could've called me.
143
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,120
You're not answering your phone. Remember?
144
00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:40,500
Look, I've come from work.
I need to get back.
145
00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:42,290
So come get out here.
146
00:07:42,380 --> 00:07:43,670
That's my analyst. So sorry.
147
00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,500
Santa, can you get down here, please?
148
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,260
Please. Thank you.
149
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,010
Santa?
150
00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:52,680
Are you there?
151
00:07:53,970 --> 00:07:55,100
Mum needs you to ring her.
152
00:07:56,970 --> 00:07:58,270
All right, every time she contacts you
153
00:07:58,350 --> 00:07:59,890
and gets no response, she contacts me.
154
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,100
Yesterday, 17 times. Just do it.
155
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,190
Oh, don't just stand there
issuing commands.
156
00:08:04,270 --> 00:08:05,270
I am an adult.
157
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,900
You are the furthest thing
from an adult that I know.
158
00:08:09,110 --> 00:08:10,700
I need time to myself.
159
00:08:11,740 --> 00:08:13,820
I'm asking you
to do a single thing, Katarina.
160
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:14,910
It's Kate.
161
00:08:14,990 --> 00:08:16,410
Whatever. Just ring her. Contact her.
162
00:08:16,490 --> 00:08:17,700
Give me one good reason.
163
00:08:17,790 --> 00:08:19,660
You've missed five doctor's appointments.
164
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:20,870
You've got one planned for tomorrow,
165
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,460
which apparently you know about.
You have to be there.
166
00:08:22,540 --> 00:08:24,830
She's also planning a dinner
to celebrate my promotion.
167
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,040
And you not ringing her
168
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:28,250
is seriously affecting my life.
169
00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:31,220
Will you be inviting Alba to the dinner?
170
00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:33,760
Just ring your mother.
171
00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:36,180
Christ.
172
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:37,970
(SHOP BELL JINGLES)
173
00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,100
Yeah, Jenna, it's me.
174
00:08:39,180 --> 00:08:41,100
Listen, darling,
I'm sorry to leave this message.
175
00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:42,810
I just really need a bed for the night.
176
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,150
Even, possibly, a few nights.
177
00:08:44,230 --> 00:08:46,230
You're my bestie. Please. I know. Just...
178
00:08:46,730 --> 00:08:47,980
Hey, elf!
179
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,490
This is my elf. Santa has elves, you know.
180
00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:51,900
Little helpers.
181
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,990
I have nicknamed her "Lazy the Elf"
182
00:08:54,070 --> 00:08:55,660
because she appears never to work.
183
00:08:55,740 --> 00:08:56,740
That's me.
184
00:08:56,820 --> 00:08:57,910
She could also be called
185
00:08:57,990 --> 00:08:59,700
"Crushing Disappointment the Elf."
186
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,160
-(LAUGHTER)
-(CHUCKLES LIGHTLY)
187
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:02,580
SANTA: "Waste of Payroll the Elf,"
188
00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:03,920
"Bleeding Me Dry the Elf,"
189
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,080
"Why On Earth Is She Even Here the Elf."
190
00:09:06,710 --> 00:09:08,000
(SANTA CONTINUES SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
191
00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:37,410
(BIRD CHIRPING)
192
00:09:39,950 --> 00:09:40,950
What?
193
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,330
Jesus. Where'd you come from?
194
00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:43,450
Well, what are you looking at?
195
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,000
Look, look.
196
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,710
-There. You see it?
-Oh.
197
00:09:47,790 --> 00:09:49,840
MAN: Just above the lip of the roof there.
198
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,130
It's quite unusual
to see a bird like that in town.
199
00:09:52,210 --> 00:09:53,460
-(BIRD CHIRPING)
-Blimey.
200
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:54,840
(GROANS)
201
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:55,970
Damn it!
202
00:09:56,050 --> 00:09:57,720
Here. I think it just pooed in your eye.
203
00:09:58,010 --> 00:09:59,180
KATE: Yeah, I think so.
204
00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:00,680
-SANTA: Goodbye, my people.
-Sorry.
205
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:01,970
(SANTA BIDS FAREWELL IN CHINESE)
206
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,470
-KATE: Ow.
-Where have you been?
207
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:04,560
A shitting bird just shat in my eye.
208
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:05,890
Oh, is there a bird in here?
209
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,270
No. Some bloke was outside the shop
210
00:10:07,350 --> 00:10:08,610
playing silly buggers.
211
00:10:08,690 --> 00:10:10,860
Maybe you can focus your attention
on the silly buggers
212
00:10:10,940 --> 00:10:12,360
-inside the shop.
-(CELL PHONE RINGING)
213
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,200
Oh! My phone. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, Santa.
214
00:10:15,780 --> 00:10:18,410
Yeah, Jenna! Yes!
215
00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:20,450
Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
216
00:10:20,530 --> 00:10:21,620
I'll be with you around 8:00. Okay.
217
00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:22,740
Get off the phone now!
218
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:23,830
Okay, I gotta go. Bye.
219
00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:25,370
Yeah, I'm just gonna
get the shit out my eye.
220
00:10:25,460 --> 00:10:26,960
Time to sparkle!
221
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,040
(CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING)
222
00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:31,710
There you are, sir.
223
00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:33,460
Enjoy your festive hybrid Hanukkah bush.
224
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:34,840
Merry Christmas to you. Thank you.
225
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:36,220
Thank you. Take care.
226
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:38,590
(RINGTONE PLAYS) She drives me crazy
227
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:39,680
SANTA: Your mother again?
228
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:40,930
I curse the day I was born.
229
00:10:41,010 --> 00:10:43,100
-Me, too.
-Ha, funny. No.
230
00:10:43,180 --> 00:10:44,310
I installed everything on her phone
231
00:10:44,390 --> 00:10:45,560
from Snapchat to Instagram.
232
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:46,810
All it means is that I can disappoint her
233
00:10:46,890 --> 00:10:47,890
in more ways than ever.
234
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:49,980
-Mothers are hell.
-Oh, yeah.
235
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:52,770
Mmm. Hello.
236
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,780
-Leave him to me.
-Oh?
237
00:10:56,110 --> 00:10:57,240
You'll just flirt with him,
238
00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:59,110
and he'll forget to buy anything.
239
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:01,490
-Hi.
-SANTA: How can I help you?
240
00:11:01,570 --> 00:11:03,370
Wouldn't mind finding him in my stocking.
241
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:07,580
-Hi.
-(GASPS) Hi.
242
00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:08,710
Hi.
243
00:11:08,790 --> 00:11:10,170
I came in to check on your eye.
244
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:11,380
It's fine.
245
00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:12,590
It's good luck, you know.
246
00:11:12,670 --> 00:11:13,670
What is?
247
00:11:13,750 --> 00:11:14,920
Getting pooed on by a bird.
248
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,510
-Bollocks is it.
-No, seriously.
249
00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:18,510
So I thought I'd see
250
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:20,180
if you fancied a little stroll with me.
251
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:22,470
Oh, that's my luck?
Going for a stroll with you?
252
00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:23,560
Might be.
253
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,640
Look, did you find me on Swiper?
254
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:26,890
-"Swiper"?
-Yeah.
255
00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:28,980
The modern dating application
you might have heard of.
256
00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:30,520
Oh. So not.
257
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:31,980
Look, to be honest,
you're not really my type.
258
00:11:32,060 --> 00:11:33,690
To be honest, you're not really mine.
259
00:11:33,770 --> 00:11:35,070
(OPENS DRAWER)
260
00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:37,690
Well, maybe we should just leave it, then.
261
00:11:38,190 --> 00:11:39,530
I do like a challenge, though.
262
00:11:40,110 --> 00:11:42,870
You considered base jumping?
Japanese blowfish?
263
00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:43,950
No, I have.
264
00:11:44,030 --> 00:11:46,330
But right now,
I'm considering a little stroll with you.
265
00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:48,660
Well, consider away, because it's a "no."
266
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,210
Is there anything
that I could improve upon to,
267
00:11:50,290 --> 00:11:51,830
say, persuade you?
268
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,540
-No.
-Any reason in particular?
269
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,420
Because you're weird.
This is weird. And I don't know you.
270
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,050
(STAMMERS) So please
could you just leave, okay?
271
00:11:57,130 --> 00:11:58,920
-Shoo. Just go.
-Hold on. This is weird?
272
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:00,010
Yeah. You're weird.
273
00:12:00,090 --> 00:12:01,220
Weirder than "Grabber" or Swiper,
274
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:02,590
-or whatever it's called?
-Yeah.
275
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,260
(SIGHS) Oh...
276
00:12:06,140 --> 00:12:07,390
Weirder than total strangers
277
00:12:07,470 --> 00:12:09,180
deciding on one photoshopped image
278
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,640
whether or not to engage
in immediate foreplay?
279
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,230
I'm busy. You're weird. Goodbye.
280
00:12:23,780 --> 00:12:25,830
KATE: Can... Erm...
281
00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:28,950
Do you need any...
282
00:12:37,130 --> 00:12:38,130
Good evening.
283
00:12:38,210 --> 00:12:39,840
Good eve... (GASPS)
284
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:42,970
(VOICE QUIVERS) Can I help you?
285
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,090
I think so.
286
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:48,770
Go on, then.
287
00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:51,680
What is it you were looking for?
288
00:12:52,270 --> 00:12:53,350
Erm...
289
00:12:55,060 --> 00:12:56,060
This.
290
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,570
That is very nice.
291
00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:01,440
It's Mister Claus, I believe.
292
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:02,650
Yes.
293
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,320
Upon his vehicle.
294
00:13:04,410 --> 00:13:05,490
Yes.
295
00:13:06,030 --> 00:13:08,790
Do you have something... Dissimilar?
296
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,200
Yes.
297
00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:13,250
We have many dissimilar items.
298
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:18,500
Er, for instance, this Christmas gibbon.
299
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,260
(SWITCH CLICKING)
300
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,170
(CHIPMUNK-VOICED SINGING) Last Christmas
301
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:25,760
-I gave you my heart
-(TOY SHRIEKS)
302
00:13:26,930 --> 00:13:29,510
-(TOY SHRIEKS)
-This year
303
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,470
To save me from tears
304
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,020
It is... Amusing.
305
00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:36,190
I think so, too.
306
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,730
-(TOY SHRIEKS)
-(CLICKS SWITCH OFF)
307
00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:41,650
I'll come back for it.
308
00:13:44,030 --> 00:13:45,200
Yes.
309
00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:46,820
Yes.
310
00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:52,290
SANTA: Yes.
311
00:13:53,710 --> 00:13:54,960
(SHOP BELL JINGLES)
312
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,010
Wow.
313
00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:04,300
That was like watching
a short Scandinavian film.
314
00:14:07,090 --> 00:14:08,090
Are you all right?
315
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:09,890
Yes, I'm fine.
316
00:14:09,970 --> 00:14:13,220
Wait. Hang on. Did you... Like him?
317
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:14,850
You're so mysterious, I can't tell.
318
00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:16,770
Of course not.
319
00:14:16,850 --> 00:14:19,190
My God. You did like him. (GASPS)
320
00:14:19,770 --> 00:14:21,440
I don't know anything about him.
321
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,320
And you're fantasizing, elf,
322
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,490
because all you seem to think about
these days is sex.
323
00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:27,950
Whew.
324
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:33,330
Oh, my God. He's coming back.
325
00:14:33,410 --> 00:14:34,790
-Where?
-Got ya.
326
00:14:34,870 --> 00:14:36,210
I knew you liked him.
327
00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:37,870
Well, now I know.
328
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,710
You like your men tall,
shy and translucent,
329
00:14:40,790 --> 00:14:42,800
like a squid but with bones and less legs.
330
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,840
Shut up, lock up, and good night.
331
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,220
-Mmm-hmm.
-(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
332
00:14:48,050 --> 00:14:49,300
(CURSES IN SERBO-CROATIAN)
333
00:14:49,390 --> 00:14:50,890
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
334
00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:52,350
Arse, head and hole.
335
00:14:57,020 --> 00:14:58,900
-(PARTY HORN SQUEAKING)
-Piss off, Klaus!
336
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,860
Sorry! Late for an audition.
337
00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:10,030
Bugger.
338
00:15:11,030 --> 00:15:12,080
-(CAR HORN BLARES)
-Sorry!
339
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:13,160
Bugger.
340
00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:17,120
No, no, no! Please wait!
Please wait! Please wait!
341
00:15:17,210 --> 00:15:18,870
He was, he was very good.
342
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,500
Not for me.
343
00:15:20,790 --> 00:15:21,790
Charming.
344
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:22,880
Jarring.
345
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,750
DIRECTOR: I would put him in "maybe plus."
346
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:25,840
CASTING DIRECTOR: "Maybe plus."
347
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,550
KATE: (PANTING) Hi. Hi.
348
00:15:28,630 --> 00:15:30,340
-Hi. Oh.
-KATE: Sorry. So sorry.
349
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,430
CASTING DIRECTOR: Sorry.
KATE: I'm late.
350
00:15:31,510 --> 00:15:33,140
The auditions are closed now.
351
00:15:33,220 --> 00:15:35,390
I was on the list. My name's Kate Andrich.
352
00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:37,180
There was just a terrible accident
on the way here.
353
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,730
Was, er, Santa involved?
354
00:15:38,810 --> 00:15:40,190
Well, yeah. She was, actually. Yeah.
355
00:15:40,270 --> 00:15:43,400
"She"? Is this like a
"God being a woman now" thing?
356
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,110
Oh, no, no, no.
These are just my work clothes.
357
00:15:45,190 --> 00:15:46,480
-Don't worry about it.
-Where do you work?
358
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,190
-Elf and safety?
-(DIRECTOR SNICKERS)
359
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,530
(LAUGHS)
360
00:15:49,610 --> 00:15:50,610
Not exactly.
361
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:51,910
-Er, I'm so sorry.
-CASTING DIRECTOR: Sorry.
362
00:15:51,990 --> 00:15:53,200
You're gonna have to come back next time.
363
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:54,280
It's too late.
364
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,120
DIRECTOR: You know what? Let her go.
365
00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:58,200
Who knows?
She might be the next Streisand.
366
00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,330
-We don't know.
-(SIGHS)
367
00:15:59,410 --> 00:16:01,580
Plus, I've never seen an elf
audition before.
368
00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:03,290
-(CHUCKLES)
-Erm, yeah.
369
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:06,300
Take it away,
you weird little North Pole-ian.
370
00:16:06,380 --> 00:16:08,760
It's Kate.
Er, where can I plug in my music?
371
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,470
The sound engineer's gone home.
372
00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:11,550
Great.
373
00:16:11,630 --> 00:16:14,180
A cappella. The penalty for lateness.
374
00:16:14,260 --> 00:16:15,720
Yeah, I can do that. Okay.
375
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:17,810
Sure.
376
00:16:17,890 --> 00:16:19,520
(BREATHES DEEPLY) Okay.
377
00:16:19,930 --> 00:16:21,230
(CLEARS THROAT)
378
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:25,230
(SINGING) Raindrops on roses
and whiskers on kittens
379
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:28,280
Bright copper kettles
and warm woolen mittens
380
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:31,110
(OFF-TUNE) Brown paper
packages tied up with string
381
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,280
These are a few of my favorite things
382
00:16:34,370 --> 00:16:36,410
Stop! Stop.
383
00:16:38,870 --> 00:16:41,000
-You've got the part.
-(STAMMERS)
384
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,580
Oh, er, sorry. No, no, no, it was, er...
385
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,340
-It was shit.
-(DIRECTOR SNICKERS)
386
00:16:46,290 --> 00:16:47,300
(CLEARS THROAT)
387
00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:49,090
(MUTTERING QUIETLY)
388
00:16:50,220 --> 00:16:51,340
Whoa! (GASPS)
389
00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:52,680
You again?
390
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,930
-What do you mean, "again"?
-Did you follow me here?
391
00:16:55,260 --> 00:16:56,350
No, I made a delivery here.
392
00:16:56,430 --> 00:16:59,060
-Yeah?
-Are elves always so cynical?
393
00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:01,850
Yes, relentlessly. These are dark times.
394
00:17:01,940 --> 00:17:04,190
So, having not followed you here,
395
00:17:04,270 --> 00:17:05,810
and having made my delivery,
396
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:08,150
and you having bumped into me by chance,
397
00:17:09,190 --> 00:17:10,190
here we are.
398
00:17:10,860 --> 00:17:11,860
"Here we are"?
399
00:17:12,570 --> 00:17:14,240
Well, for instance,
we could go for a walk together.
400
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,280
Why do you keep
trying to take me for a walk?
401
00:17:16,370 --> 00:17:17,410
I'm not a dog.
402
00:17:17,490 --> 00:17:18,580
You are wearing a collar.
403
00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:19,990
Oh, LOL. You know what?
404
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,000
I'm just not in the mood for a walk.
405
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,080
Why?
406
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,330
(SIGHS) Well, fine, okay.
407
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:27,420
I was just incredibly bad at what I do
408
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:29,250
in front of people
who could've given me a job.
409
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:30,380
I thought you had a job.
410
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,170
Yes, but it's not what I "do" do.
411
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:33,420
I'm not a career elf.
412
00:17:33,590 --> 00:17:35,260
Oh. What do you do?
413
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,050
(GRUNTS)
414
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,140
Sing.
415
00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:39,930
Wow. That's pretty amazing.
416
00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:43,020
I just can't seem to... At the moment.
417
00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:45,270
Anyway, boring, boring, boring.
La, la, la, la.
418
00:17:45,350 --> 00:17:46,690
I'm not bored.
419
00:17:46,770 --> 00:17:48,360
Actually, who are you?
420
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:49,900
I'm Tom.
421
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:52,440
Kate.
422
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:54,360
Why are you so flexible?
423
00:17:54,450 --> 00:17:55,740
Why are you dressed like an elf?
424
00:17:55,820 --> 00:17:57,240
You know why. And you know what?
425
00:17:58,320 --> 00:17:59,740
I have had my fill
426
00:17:59,830 --> 00:18:02,540
of utterly hilarious
elf jokes for one night.
427
00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:03,620
Cover me.
428
00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:07,250
-Here?
-Here.
429
00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:10,550
You are now my cupboard door.
430
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:11,840
(GRUNTS)
431
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,630
-So, you do this often?
-Only when I have to.
432
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,390
(WORKMEN WHISTLING TEASINGLY)
433
00:18:17,470 --> 00:18:19,470
Oh, piss off. Nice covering.
434
00:18:19,550 --> 00:18:20,890
I'm trying my best here.
435
00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:22,220
(WOLF-WHISTLES)
436
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:23,310
WORKMAN: Thanks.
437
00:18:24,390 --> 00:18:25,810
-TOM: Okay.
-Okay.
438
00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:26,940
Oh, no. Hang on.
439
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,440
Where are we going?
440
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:30,860
This way. Come on.
441
00:18:34,150 --> 00:18:35,200
Oh.
442
00:18:37,110 --> 00:18:38,360
Look at that.
443
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:39,530
You never seen this alleyway before?
444
00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:40,620
Nope.
445
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:43,450
This is the narrowest alley in London.
446
00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,960
My mate, Hendo,
he calls it "Fat Man's Squeeze."
447
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,500
It's pretty cool, though, isn't it?
448
00:18:47,580 --> 00:18:48,880
KATE: Sure. Why not.
449
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,210
I like hidden places.
450
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,380
Has anyone ever told you there's something
451
00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:54,510
slightly serial killer-y about you?
452
00:18:55,340 --> 00:18:56,630
No. Come to think of it,
453
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,470
-no one's ever said that to me before.
-Ah.
454
00:18:59,010 --> 00:19:00,350
TOM: Never more than once, anyway.
455
00:19:03,430 --> 00:19:05,980
Why are you always dancing about?
456
00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:07,060
Look up.
457
00:19:08,650 --> 00:19:11,060
Oh, wow. Are they mice?
458
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,150
TOM: Yeah, I think so.
459
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:14,280
There must be a story attached to them.
460
00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:16,320
I'll have to find out one day.
461
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,400
-Yeah. I mean, it's very...
-Come on.
462
00:19:20,110 --> 00:19:23,280
(LAUGHING) You are so strange.
You're so weird.
463
00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:24,370
TOM: Keep looking up.
464
00:19:25,870 --> 00:19:27,040
-(BOTTLES RATTLE)
-Oh!
465
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:28,330
-Ow!
-You okay?
466
00:19:28,410 --> 00:19:30,170
No! Just my luck.
467
00:19:30,250 --> 00:19:32,590
I face-plant into a pile of rubbish
468
00:19:32,670 --> 00:19:34,250
because I wasn't looking where I was going
469
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,590
like a bloody normal person.
470
00:19:35,670 --> 00:19:36,920
TOM: Well, you're not used to looking up.
471
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,220
Or smelling like a bin.
472
00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:40,510
-Seen this?
-Seen what?
473
00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:42,930
(LAUGHING) Oh, my God.
474
00:19:43,010 --> 00:19:44,010
TOM: Yeah.
475
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,430
I've walked down this street
so many times.
476
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:46,680
I've never seen that before.
477
00:19:46,930 --> 00:19:48,770
TOM: Like I say. Follow me.
478
00:20:07,660 --> 00:20:08,830
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
479
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:14,880
KATE: This is cool.
480
00:20:16,630 --> 00:20:18,130
Welcome to my secret little garden.
481
00:20:18,210 --> 00:20:20,680
KATE: I had no idea this existed.
482
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,140
TOM: Not many people do.
483
00:20:23,470 --> 00:20:24,600
(KATE SIGHS)
484
00:20:24,930 --> 00:20:28,020
Oh. Have a look over there. It's Gideon.
485
00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:29,430
KATE: Yes.
TOM: He's recently divorced.
486
00:20:29,980 --> 00:20:32,850
-Oh.
-He owes £748 in child support.
487
00:20:33,610 --> 00:20:34,610
KATE: How do you know?
488
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:36,650
I heard him have a very loud
489
00:20:36,730 --> 00:20:38,150
phone conversation
right behind that shrub.
490
00:20:38,230 --> 00:20:40,700
KATE: What, he probably
thought no one could hear him.
491
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:43,160
Oh, and that's Geoff, a mafia don.
492
00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,240
KATE: Really?
493
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,830
-No. He works at Burger King.
-(CHUCKLES)
494
00:20:46,910 --> 00:20:48,580
He's also a vegan, so very conflicted.
495
00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:51,580
Who's she?
496
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,080
TOM: That's Ursula.
497
00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:54,670
She lives in the flats around the back.
498
00:20:54,750 --> 00:20:57,170
She runs a brothel down in Bethnal Green.
499
00:20:57,250 --> 00:20:58,960
Now, some of the girls, they used to come,
500
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,050
take a seat,
501
00:21:00,130 --> 00:21:02,130
just have a chat and then go back to work.
502
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,510
KATE: Do you think
she was giving them tips?
503
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,680
No. More like a bit of support.
504
00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,560
-I wanna talk to her.
-No, you can't do that.
505
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:12,640
No, no, no, no, no.
506
00:21:13,270 --> 00:21:15,100
Everyone keeps everyone's
secrets around here.
507
00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:16,360
It's like an unspoken rule.
508
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:17,900
Well, you just told me Gideon's.
509
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:20,780
Fair point.
510
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:23,400
You're one of us now.
511
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:29,740
-Mmm.
-KATE: Hmm.
512
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,710
TOM: So, when's your next audition?
513
00:21:32,790 --> 00:21:34,870
Saturday. It's for Frozen.
514
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,040
-What's that?
-(LAUGHS)
515
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:38,380
You really don't know?
516
00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:39,460
No, really.
517
00:21:39,550 --> 00:21:41,420
Okay. It's a film about two sisters
518
00:21:41,510 --> 00:21:42,760
who used to get on really well,
519
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,220
and then don't,
520
00:21:44,300 --> 00:21:48,390
because one of them
has a problem with ice.
521
00:21:48,470 --> 00:21:51,350
-And the production is on ice.
-Huh.
522
00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:53,270
So you can skate as well as sing?
523
00:21:53,350 --> 00:21:55,270
-No.
-You can't skate?
524
00:21:55,350 --> 00:21:57,980
Never tried it.
I'm gonna wing it. It'll be cool.
525
00:21:58,770 --> 00:22:00,320
I really enjoyed our walk today.
526
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,440
Ditto.
527
00:22:01,530 --> 00:22:02,940
Would you like to
528
00:22:03,570 --> 00:22:04,990
repeat the experience?
529
00:22:05,070 --> 00:22:06,780
Would you like to give me your number?
530
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:08,120
I don't have a phone.
531
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:09,780
(SCOFFS)
532
00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:11,330
(LAUGHING) Oh, my God.
533
00:22:11,410 --> 00:22:12,410
I was just beginning to think
534
00:22:12,500 --> 00:22:14,160
you're not as weird as you look.
535
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:15,670
Before you throw me in the bin
536
00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:17,290
with the rest of your battered conquests,
537
00:22:17,380 --> 00:22:19,790
it's not completely true.
I do have a phone.
538
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,010
It's just locked in a cupboard.
539
00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:23,090
Why?
540
00:22:23,170 --> 00:22:25,590
I got so tired
of staring at my hand all day.
541
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:26,800
-I mean, you should try it.
-(RINGTONE PLAYING)
542
00:22:26,890 --> 00:22:28,260
That's like saying you should try death.
543
00:22:29,180 --> 00:22:30,680
I think somebody
really wants to get hold of you.
544
00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:32,600
Yeah, I know. Someone really
isn't gonna get the chance.
545
00:22:33,020 --> 00:22:34,680
-(RINGTONE STOPS)
-(CLEARS THROAT) No.
546
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,020
Ditch that.
547
00:22:37,100 --> 00:22:38,810
All of your stresses will just melt away.
548
00:22:39,110 --> 00:22:42,110
-Oh, but I just like stress.
-(HORN HONKS)
549
00:22:42,190 --> 00:22:44,150
-Oi! You getting on?
-KATE: Yeah.
550
00:22:44,900 --> 00:22:45,900
Your chariot awaits.
551
00:22:45,990 --> 00:22:46,990
Indeed.
552
00:22:47,530 --> 00:22:48,620
(KATE GRUNTS)
553
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,620
-I'll see you at the store.
-Okay.
554
00:22:50,700 --> 00:22:51,780
And don't forget. Look up.
555
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:54,290
Oh, for God's sake, shut up, will you?
556
00:23:19,810 --> 00:23:20,810
(SIGHS)
557
00:23:22,270 --> 00:23:23,270
JENNA: Hi.
558
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:24,400
KATE: Hi.
JENNA: Hey.
559
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:25,530
KATE: Thank you so much.
560
00:23:25,610 --> 00:23:27,320
-Thank you so much.
-It's okay.
561
00:23:27,820 --> 00:23:30,200
And your suite, madam.
562
00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:32,120
Ta-da!
563
00:23:32,910 --> 00:23:34,580
You called just before we got the crib up,
564
00:23:34,660 --> 00:23:35,750
so there was still room.
565
00:23:35,830 --> 00:23:37,000
Yeah.
566
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:40,290
This is gonna be so good
for my sex life. (CHUCKLES)
567
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:42,340
(BOTH LAUGH)
568
00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:46,340
(MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY ON SPEAKERS)
569
00:23:48,930 --> 00:23:50,470
(KATE CLEARS THROAT)
570
00:23:50,550 --> 00:23:51,640
-Hey, Ruf.
-RUFUS: Hey, Kate.
571
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:52,800
-Thanks for this.
-Holding up?
572
00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:54,850
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fine. Totally fine.
573
00:23:54,930 --> 00:23:56,770
-How's it all been?
-(RINGTONE PLAYING)
574
00:23:56,850 --> 00:23:59,560
Re-entry and all that. How's Santa?
575
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,980
Oh, you know, fine.
Her usual, curt, Asian self.
576
00:24:04,070 --> 00:24:05,900
I thought you might have
decided to move on.
577
00:24:05,980 --> 00:24:07,360
No, no. (GRUNTS)
578
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,030
What with something that
started as a Saturday job?
579
00:24:09,110 --> 00:24:10,950
Yeah. Comfy where I am.
580
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:15,330
And, erm, what about
your folks and mad Marta?
581
00:24:15,410 --> 00:24:17,620
With her law firm? And her briefcase.
582
00:24:17,700 --> 00:24:19,750
(CROATIAN ACCENT) I stay out
of contact with the crazies.
583
00:24:19,830 --> 00:24:22,040
(NORMAL VOICE) You know,
just to give myself a bit of space.
584
00:24:22,130 --> 00:24:23,380
Are the doctors keeping in touch?
585
00:24:23,460 --> 00:24:24,540
How about being pregnant?
586
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:25,670
-Huh?
-(SIGHS)
587
00:24:25,750 --> 00:24:27,170
For crying out loud. How's that?
588
00:24:27,260 --> 00:24:29,170
JENNA: It is a total conspiracy,
is what it is.
589
00:24:29,260 --> 00:24:30,260
-Yeah?
-Yeah, they lie to you
590
00:24:30,340 --> 00:24:31,630
about pregnancy.
591
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:32,840
You know the whole glowing,
592
00:24:32,930 --> 00:24:34,430
mother-to-be image you see in the ads?
593
00:24:34,510 --> 00:24:37,100
It's just bollocks.
You know, genuine bollocks.
594
00:24:37,180 --> 00:24:39,640
It's just a nine-month-long trauma,
595
00:24:39,730 --> 00:24:41,230
-spent piddling into cups...
-Of course it is.
596
00:24:41,310 --> 00:24:44,150
...being poked up the vag
by strangers with cold hands.
597
00:24:44,230 --> 00:24:45,980
If men had to do this shit,
598
00:24:46,070 --> 00:24:47,780
we would have contraceptive beer.
599
00:24:47,860 --> 00:24:49,150
Actually, if men had to do it,
600
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:50,650
the human race would just die out.
601
00:24:50,740 --> 00:24:52,110
-Shh.
-JENNA: No, Ruf.
602
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:53,200
I know you know all this,
603
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:55,240
and I know you're fed up with
feminism in general, but...
604
00:24:55,330 --> 00:24:56,870
I'm not fed up with feminism. No.
605
00:24:56,950 --> 00:24:58,950
I mean, shh, she's not listening.
606
00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:00,960
(SNORING)
607
00:25:03,790 --> 00:25:04,790
That's not right.
608
00:25:07,090 --> 00:25:08,130
This is a fish knife.
609
00:25:08,210 --> 00:25:10,470
I'm trying to cut a passion fruit
with a fish knife.
610
00:25:10,550 --> 00:25:11,720
If anyone can do it, you can.
611
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,090
It's your fault. You did this.
612
00:25:14,180 --> 00:25:17,010
(SINGING ON TV)
Wake me up before you go-go
613
00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:19,930
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo
614
00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:21,020
Wake me up
615
00:25:21,100 --> 00:25:22,190
(GASPS)
616
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,230
Whoa... Hey, Sleeping Beauty.
617
00:25:25,310 --> 00:25:27,440
-Hi.
-Come and grab some food.
618
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:28,530
Oh, yeah.
619
00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:30,940
(GROANS) Good sleeping.
620
00:25:31,030 --> 00:25:33,820
Anyone up for a, you know, pizza?
621
00:25:33,910 --> 00:25:34,910
Bottle of Rioja?
622
00:25:34,990 --> 00:25:36,660
Mmm. Celiac.
623
00:25:36,740 --> 00:25:37,740
Oh, yeah. I forgot.
624
00:25:37,830 --> 00:25:41,250
And preggers.
So, we ain't drinking either, party girl.
625
00:25:41,330 --> 00:25:43,790
Okay. Well, I'm off out.
626
00:25:44,580 --> 00:25:45,710
Okay.
627
00:25:45,790 --> 00:25:47,840
I'll see you later.
I won't be too late, I promise.
628
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,130
All right. Peace out.
629
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,930
-(DOOR CLOSES)
-Don't.
630
00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:55,590
She's my oldest friend.
631
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:56,800
I know it seems like she's...
632
00:25:56,890 --> 00:25:58,180
The most selfish woman in the world?
633
00:25:58,260 --> 00:26:00,930
Oof. Harsh. She's been ill.
634
00:26:01,020 --> 00:26:02,520
I'm over the galleon.
635
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:03,600
But one more thing
636
00:26:03,690 --> 00:26:05,020
and my legendary patience will crumble.
637
00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:07,020
Don't bring that up.
She burned her eyebrows off.
638
00:26:07,110 --> 00:26:08,400
Her eyebrows will grow back.
639
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:09,480
You know what won't grow back?
640
00:26:09,730 --> 00:26:10,730
(CHUCKLING)
641
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:12,570
(SCREAMS) Oh, my...
642
00:26:12,650 --> 00:26:13,700
My matchstick galleon.
643
00:26:13,780 --> 00:26:15,570
No, I agree. One and she's out.
644
00:26:16,660 --> 00:26:17,820
DJ: Wakey-wakey, London.
645
00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:19,660
Here's something to start your day.
646
00:26:20,830 --> 00:26:22,330
(DOOR CREAKING)
647
00:26:22,410 --> 00:26:23,870
(POP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
648
00:26:31,380 --> 00:26:33,760
-MAN: Mmm. Ma chérie.
-No. Not again. Stop. Shh.
649
00:26:34,420 --> 00:26:35,630
-(MAN GRUNTS)
-Okay. Thank you.
650
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:36,840
You take me for the full English now?
651
00:26:36,930 --> 00:26:38,510
No, mate. You had
the full English last night.
652
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:39,890
(KATE AND MAN SPEAKING FRENCH)
653
00:26:39,970 --> 00:26:41,100
-(DOOR CLOSES)
-(KATE CLEARS THROAT)
654
00:26:41,180 --> 00:26:42,180
(SING-SONGY) Hi.
655
00:26:43,060 --> 00:26:44,730
Morning. Hello.
656
00:26:44,810 --> 00:26:46,350
Happy? A good morning.
657
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:47,560
It's brilliant. It's lovely, isn't it?
658
00:26:47,650 --> 00:26:49,560
Oh, someone looks not rested.
659
00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:51,520
What? Me? No, fine. Totally fine.
660
00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:53,110
Able to leap sofas in a single bound...
661
00:26:53,190 --> 00:26:56,360
Oh, my God! (TEARFULLY) No, no, no, no!
662
00:27:03,910 --> 00:27:05,120
(SIGHS)
663
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:09,250
(CRUNCHING)
664
00:27:21,010 --> 00:27:22,390
CHURCHILL: Just gonna
write this out for you.
665
00:27:22,470 --> 00:27:24,100
CROWLEY: They've had a right
go in here, haven't they?
666
00:27:24,180 --> 00:27:25,480
-KATE: Oh, God.
-Probably just kids.
667
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:27,060
Yeah, I reckon it's just kids.
668
00:27:27,730 --> 00:27:28,770
CHURCHILL: Yeah, I just said.
669
00:27:28,850 --> 00:27:30,400
This is your crime number.
You'll need it for insurance.
670
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:31,480
What happened?
671
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,070
Break-in, I'm afraid.
672
00:27:33,150 --> 00:27:34,690
Very common this time of year.
673
00:27:34,780 --> 00:27:36,280
Place like this is a prime target.
674
00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:37,360
-Lovely, it is.
-CROWLEY: Mmm.
675
00:27:38,110 --> 00:27:39,530
Is that a crocodile with pompoms?
676
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:44,160
-Yes.
-And, er, who's this?
677
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:45,540
This is my employee.
678
00:27:45,620 --> 00:27:46,910
She locked up last night,
679
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,040
so please ask her if she saw anything.
680
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:53,290
Nothing out of the ordinary.
681
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:54,960
You writing that down?
682
00:27:55,050 --> 00:27:56,090
I am. How do you spell "ordinary"?
683
00:27:56,170 --> 00:27:57,260
CROWLEY: Well, we're done here.
684
00:27:57,340 --> 00:27:58,680
We'll be in touch if we hear anything.
685
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,590
CHURCHILL: Mmm, pity. It's a lovely place.
686
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,350
It is. I love Christmas.
687
00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:03,430
No, you don't.
688
00:28:03,510 --> 00:28:04,560
You make "Have a merry Christmas"
689
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:05,640
sound like a death threat.
690
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:06,720
What are you talking about?
691
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:08,640
Merry Christmas.
692
00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:10,140
Have yourself a merry Christmas, yeah?
693
00:28:10,230 --> 00:28:11,230
You see? You just did it.
694
00:28:11,310 --> 00:28:12,310
What do you mean I just did it?
695
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:13,690
CHURCHILL: You just did it.
Let me get my phone out.
696
00:28:13,770 --> 00:28:14,860
I'll record you and you'll realize
697
00:28:14,940 --> 00:28:15,940
you sound like Jason Statham.
698
00:28:16,030 --> 00:28:17,070
CROWLEY: Well, that's a good thing,
699
00:28:17,150 --> 00:28:18,150
'cause I love Jason Statham,
700
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:19,400
-so that's not even an insult.
-Santa, I...
701
00:28:19,490 --> 00:28:20,780
-Don't talk to me.
-But, listen, I...
702
00:28:20,860 --> 00:28:22,740
I said don't talk to me.
703
00:28:22,820 --> 00:28:25,490
You forgot to lock up. Don't deny it.
704
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:27,250
Oh, I can pay you back.
705
00:28:31,170 --> 00:28:33,790
Now, you listen to me and you listen good.
706
00:28:34,290 --> 00:28:36,460
You were great at your job
when you started,
707
00:28:36,550 --> 00:28:38,840
that's why I took you on full-time.
708
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:40,430
You've got a way with people
709
00:28:40,510 --> 00:28:43,470
and I felt so lucky to have you.
710
00:28:43,550 --> 00:28:44,760
Thanks.
711
00:28:44,850 --> 00:28:47,060
But I don't feel lucky anymore.
712
00:28:47,970 --> 00:28:50,810
Since you came back,
you started losing your shit.
713
00:28:50,890 --> 00:28:53,100
It's like you don't care about anything.
714
00:28:54,270 --> 00:28:57,480
So now, you care about this.
715
00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:00,570
I had to smash my own window
716
00:29:00,650 --> 00:29:02,110
to make it look like a break-in,
717
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:05,030
otherwise I wouldn't get the insurance.
718
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:08,910
You turned me into someone
who broke the law.
719
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,040
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
720
00:29:13,210 --> 00:29:16,130
I can't believe
I'm even giving you another chance,
721
00:29:16,210 --> 00:29:19,960
but I am because I am a good person.
722
00:29:20,050 --> 00:29:22,340
-Yeah.
-But one more thing,
723
00:29:22,430 --> 00:29:23,680
and you're out.
724
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:29,720
So clean up your mess,
you stupid, stupid girl.
725
00:29:30,810 --> 00:29:32,270
(SIGHS)
726
00:29:39,190 --> 00:29:41,190
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
-(CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYING)
727
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:08,680
Hey.
728
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:09,760
Hey.
729
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:11,810
Were you coming to see me?
730
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:13,520
No.
731
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:14,640
Oh.
732
00:30:15,100 --> 00:30:16,100
Great.
733
00:30:16,270 --> 00:30:17,270
You okay?
734
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:18,570
Yeah. No. We had a break-in
735
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:20,940
-and Santa's taken it really badly.
-Right.
736
00:30:21,030 --> 00:30:23,070
And I got chucked out
of my digs this morning,
737
00:30:23,150 --> 00:30:24,530
-so I've got nowhere to stay.
-Mmm.
738
00:30:24,610 --> 00:30:25,990
Anyway, I'm homeless again.
739
00:30:26,070 --> 00:30:27,450
That bad, huh?
740
00:30:27,530 --> 00:30:28,740
Yep.
741
00:30:28,830 --> 00:30:29,830
Okay.
742
00:30:31,450 --> 00:30:32,500
You should come with me, then.
743
00:30:32,580 --> 00:30:34,000
You were so coming to see me.
744
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:35,170
Mmm-mmm.
745
00:30:35,250 --> 00:30:36,250
-Yep.
-Nope.
746
00:30:36,330 --> 00:30:38,460
-Yep.
-Not in your wildest dreams.
747
00:30:38,540 --> 00:30:39,790
-Er, yeah.
-This way.
748
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,510
KATE: Yeah. You were so coming to see me.
TOM: Uh-uh.
749
00:30:44,090 --> 00:30:45,300
Here we are.
750
00:30:46,510 --> 00:30:49,640
KATE: What is this?
TOM: Your people. The homeless.
751
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:51,850
Oh. Christ.
752
00:30:51,930 --> 00:30:54,730
Well, thanks, Bono or Mother Teresa,
753
00:30:54,810 --> 00:30:56,770
or whoever wins
the moral superiority prize.
754
00:30:56,850 --> 00:30:58,730
You're the one who used
the word "homeless."
755
00:30:58,810 --> 00:31:01,230
I meant I haven't got a place
to stay that I've chosen.
756
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:02,940
I choose not to go back
to my parents' house.
757
00:31:03,030 --> 00:31:04,110
And they live here in London?
758
00:31:04,190 --> 00:31:06,450
Yeah, kind of. Sort of.
759
00:31:06,530 --> 00:31:08,820
Christ, if I'm going home
I'm gonna need a drink.
760
00:31:08,910 --> 00:31:09,910
How about you leave it,
761
00:31:09,990 --> 00:31:11,700
and you go home alarmingly sober?
762
00:31:11,780 --> 00:31:13,910
Oh, bugger off,
person who has never met my parents.
763
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:15,210
Okay.
764
00:31:16,790 --> 00:31:18,170
Where are you going?
765
00:31:19,170 --> 00:31:21,290
-I'm going in there.
-Well, you're not homeless.
766
00:31:21,380 --> 00:31:22,710
No, I volunteer in here.
767
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:24,840
(LAUGHING)
768
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:25,920
Christ.
769
00:31:26,010 --> 00:31:28,340
Why don't you just get "Saint"
tattooed on your forehead?
770
00:31:28,430 --> 00:31:29,760
Oh, boy.
771
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:31,100
Just can't help it, can you?
772
00:31:31,470 --> 00:31:32,680
Oh, what?
773
00:31:33,180 --> 00:31:34,180
Never mind.
774
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:35,520
Good luck.
775
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:38,060
-Ugh.
-Good night.
776
00:31:38,350 --> 00:31:39,400
KATE: Ugh.
777
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,310
(UPBEAT '80s POP SONG PLAYING)
778
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:07,840
Hi.
779
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:09,470
Yeah, I need a cab.
780
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:21,480
I honestly think
she preferred it when I was ill.
781
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:23,730
You know? Like it made her more important.
782
00:32:23,820 --> 00:32:24,820
More center-stage.
783
00:32:24,900 --> 00:32:26,690
DRIVER: Mmm.
KATE: And all she's done,
784
00:32:26,780 --> 00:32:28,530
really, since the operation,
785
00:32:28,610 --> 00:32:32,120
is try to interfere and control my life.
786
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:33,780
How do you even know if you have a life?
787
00:32:33,870 --> 00:32:35,450
Does anything official
arrive that tells you?
788
00:32:35,540 --> 00:32:36,870
Like an envelope
and something that's like,
789
00:32:36,950 --> 00:32:37,950
"Dear So-and-so,
790
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:39,790
"you now have a life,
we wish you'd get on with it."
791
00:32:39,870 --> 00:32:40,870
DRIVER: Mmm.
792
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,130
Oh, everything's just such a mess.
793
00:32:43,210 --> 00:32:45,000
How did I even get here?
794
00:32:45,460 --> 00:32:46,800
DRIVER: Through the tunnel.
795
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:47,880
Yeah.
796
00:32:50,090 --> 00:32:51,890
-Here we are.
-Mmm.
797
00:32:52,260 --> 00:32:53,340
Thanks, Dad.
798
00:32:53,930 --> 00:32:54,930
Mwah.
799
00:32:55,350 --> 00:32:56,600
You coming in?
800
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:58,810
No, no, no. Your mother is still up.
801
00:32:58,890 --> 00:33:00,440
I like to wait until she's asleep.
802
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:02,850
She talks less.
803
00:33:03,690 --> 00:33:05,190
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
804
00:33:05,270 --> 00:33:07,820
Why don't you just get a divorce, huh?
805
00:33:07,900 --> 00:33:09,320
Been avoiding each other for years.
806
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:10,530
No.
807
00:33:10,610 --> 00:33:12,200
No, divorce is for the rich.
808
00:33:12,570 --> 00:33:13,740
Ah.
809
00:33:14,740 --> 00:33:16,870
Get some rest, Katarina, you look done in.
810
00:33:16,950 --> 00:33:17,950
It's Kate.
811
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:19,330
Ah.
812
00:33:20,870 --> 00:33:22,250
KATE: Don't pick up anyone dodgy.
813
00:33:22,330 --> 00:33:23,330
IVAN: Yeah.
814
00:33:23,710 --> 00:33:25,460
-(GRUNTS)
-Love you.
815
00:33:38,810 --> 00:33:40,060
(GRUNTS)
816
00:33:43,810 --> 00:33:45,020
Mmm...
817
00:33:46,810 --> 00:33:47,820
Mum!
818
00:33:50,030 --> 00:33:51,650
Mum, would you let me in?
819
00:33:52,820 --> 00:33:53,820
Mum!
820
00:33:54,530 --> 00:33:55,530
Mum!
821
00:33:56,740 --> 00:33:58,540
Nailed it shut. Mental.
822
00:34:00,290 --> 00:34:01,660
KGB!
823
00:34:01,750 --> 00:34:03,290
Open up! KGB!
824
00:34:03,370 --> 00:34:04,370
(LOCK CLICKS)
825
00:34:04,460 --> 00:34:05,630
(EXCLAIMS IN DISAPPROVAL)
826
00:34:05,710 --> 00:34:08,090
Stop. Stop. You are very bad girl.
827
00:34:08,670 --> 00:34:10,840
-Would you prefer the KGB?
-KGB... (STAMMERS)
828
00:34:11,510 --> 00:34:14,260
You don't make joke about
what you don't understand.
829
00:34:14,340 --> 00:34:15,380
Yeah. Can I just come in?
830
00:34:15,470 --> 00:34:17,760
What you done? You look like dead person.
831
00:34:17,850 --> 00:34:19,680
Oh. Yeah. Thanks. Great parenting. Great.
832
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:21,270
-Why don't you ring me?
-(GROANS)
833
00:34:21,350 --> 00:34:22,890
-You have phone.
-It's broken.
834
00:34:22,980 --> 00:34:24,230
(PETRA SPEAKS CROATIAN)
835
00:34:24,310 --> 00:34:28,400
PETRA: (IN ENGLISH) Why you not ring me
when I worry about you?
836
00:34:29,110 --> 00:34:32,820
Not to hear nothing. No call, no Twitter.
837
00:34:32,900 --> 00:34:36,450
No Snap... Chat shot.
838
00:34:36,530 --> 00:34:38,450
I think she's dead, she's had lapse,
839
00:34:38,530 --> 00:34:40,870
she's never coming home like her father
840
00:34:40,950 --> 00:34:42,700
who is never here.
841
00:34:42,790 --> 00:34:45,790
My life is hell, Katarina.
842
00:34:45,870 --> 00:34:47,130
It's Kate. It's Kate.
843
00:34:47,210 --> 00:34:52,420
Kate is not a name.
Katarina is name. Katarina.
844
00:34:52,510 --> 00:34:54,460
Cat is animal.
845
00:34:54,550 --> 00:34:57,640
Cat, dog. What I call Marta? Dog.
846
00:34:57,720 --> 00:34:59,600
-I call you cat. Meow.
-(CLEARS THROAT)
847
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:01,970
Yeah, no, great. But can I get some sleep?
848
00:35:02,060 --> 00:35:03,390
One of us should sleep.
849
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:05,810
I don't sleep.
850
00:35:05,890 --> 00:35:06,980
-Oh, yeah.
-This is very...
851
00:35:07,650 --> 00:35:08,940
-This is naughty.
-Yeah.
852
00:35:09,650 --> 00:35:12,610
Mum! Can I please just go to sleep?
853
00:35:12,690 --> 00:35:14,190
Yes, you sleep. We talk morning.
854
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,200
-You are clean?
-Yeah. Yeah.
855
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:17,820
-Pillow.
-Yeah, it's a pillow.
856
00:35:17,910 --> 00:35:19,950
-Pillow. Head. Sleep.
-Yeah, I'm gonna.
857
00:35:20,030 --> 00:35:21,580
-I'm good.
-Mmm.
858
00:35:21,660 --> 00:35:22,660
Yeah, okay.
859
00:35:24,620 --> 00:35:26,330
Okay. Good night.
860
00:35:26,410 --> 00:35:27,420
Naughty.
861
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:29,880
(YAWNS)
862
00:35:32,550 --> 00:35:33,550
Oh, God.
863
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:37,180
(MOANS SOFTLY)
864
00:35:38,130 --> 00:35:40,010
(SINGING LULLABY IN CROATIAN)
865
00:36:01,740 --> 00:36:02,950
DR. ADDIS: So, er, tell me about the diet.
866
00:36:03,450 --> 00:36:04,450
Keeping up with the fruit and veg?
867
00:36:04,540 --> 00:36:05,540
Yeah, fine.
868
00:36:05,620 --> 00:36:07,870
She's eating rubbish when she is outside.
869
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:09,790
When she's at home, she's eating my food.
870
00:36:09,870 --> 00:36:10,880
And it's good.
871
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:12,290
I'm sure it is.
872
00:36:12,380 --> 00:36:13,380
What about sleep?
873
00:36:13,460 --> 00:36:14,460
-It's all right.
-She never sleeps.
874
00:36:14,550 --> 00:36:15,550
Exercise?
875
00:36:15,630 --> 00:36:16,710
-Religiously.
-Not at all.
876
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,380
-Alcohol?
-Every once in a while.
877
00:36:18,470 --> 00:36:20,220
Oh, she's drinking like the pirate.
878
00:36:20,300 --> 00:36:21,390
-You say you're okay...
-KATE: Yep.
879
00:36:21,470 --> 00:36:22,640
...and your mother says the opposite.
880
00:36:22,720 --> 00:36:23,720
Who do I believe?
881
00:36:23,810 --> 00:36:25,560
-Me, obviously.
-Me, the mother, of course.
882
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:26,850
-DR. ADDIS: All right. Listen.
-(SCOFFS)
883
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:28,890
There's nothing conclusive here.
884
00:36:28,980 --> 00:36:31,810
But you, Kate,
you've got to take care of your heart.
885
00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:32,940
You need to rest more,
886
00:36:33,020 --> 00:36:35,650
-eat better, drink less...
-(AGREEING IN CROATIAN)
887
00:36:35,730 --> 00:36:38,360
-...and stop being so angry.
-(AGREES IN CROATIAN)
888
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:41,450
And you, Mrs. Andrich,
you need to worry less.
889
00:36:41,530 --> 00:36:42,950
I not sleeping.
890
00:36:43,030 --> 00:36:45,450
Can you please give me
something for sleeping?
891
00:36:45,540 --> 00:36:48,330
Mrs. Andrich, you've been given
everything there is for sleep,
892
00:36:48,410 --> 00:36:50,040
anxiety, panic attacks, the lot.
893
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:52,170
You have the best that
modern medicine has to offer.
894
00:36:52,250 --> 00:36:53,330
Then what can I do?
895
00:36:53,420 --> 00:36:55,170
Join a club. Hmm?
896
00:36:55,250 --> 00:36:57,960
Talk to other people.
Enjoy time with your friends.
897
00:36:59,130 --> 00:37:00,300
All my friends were murdered.
898
00:37:00,380 --> 00:37:01,590
Okay. Fine. Thank you, Doctor.
899
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:02,890
Thank you so much for your time.
Let's go, Mum.
900
00:37:02,970 --> 00:37:04,970
-But it's true. They took them.
-Come on. I know.
901
00:37:05,050 --> 00:37:06,220
-Come on, Mama, out we get.
-Thank you.
902
00:37:06,310 --> 00:37:07,770
Kate, we'll see you in a month.
903
00:37:07,850 --> 00:37:09,310
-KATE: See you next year.
-(PETRA EXCLAIMS IN CROATIAN)
904
00:37:09,390 --> 00:37:10,560
There you go. All right.
905
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:11,730
-PETRA: I come. I'm coming!
-(SIGHS)
906
00:37:11,810 --> 00:37:12,810
-KATE: Thank you.
-(DOOR CLOSES)
907
00:37:12,900 --> 00:37:13,900
Bloody hell.
908
00:37:23,530 --> 00:37:24,780
(SCOFFS SOFTLY)
909
00:37:29,950 --> 00:37:31,290
Can I help?
910
00:37:31,370 --> 00:37:32,750
No.
911
00:37:32,830 --> 00:37:34,830
I'm having a self-pity party.
912
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:36,540
Ooh. Am I invited?
913
00:37:38,340 --> 00:37:40,170
Well, only if you promise to judge me.
914
00:37:40,260 --> 00:37:42,880
Oh, you definitely
don't need any help doing that.
915
00:37:42,970 --> 00:37:44,390
Or maybe you do.
916
00:37:45,090 --> 00:37:46,550
I'm very good at tidying up.
917
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:47,810
(CLEARS THROAT)
918
00:37:50,100 --> 00:37:51,100
Yes.
919
00:38:09,410 --> 00:38:11,200
-These expensive?
-(RATTLING)
920
00:38:13,210 --> 00:38:14,960
Idiot. Follow me.
921
00:38:16,670 --> 00:38:17,790
Ah.
922
00:38:18,170 --> 00:38:19,340
(SING-SONGY) Tra-la!
923
00:38:20,050 --> 00:38:21,130
(NORMAL VOICE) All right, Mr. Muscle,
924
00:38:21,210 --> 00:38:23,470
you can get to refreshing that tree.
925
00:38:23,550 --> 00:38:24,630
-This one?
-Yeah.
926
00:38:28,100 --> 00:38:30,430
Going home always makes me crazy.
927
00:38:31,930 --> 00:38:34,060
-How was it?
-Hell. Mum sung me to sleep.
928
00:38:35,310 --> 00:38:37,730
You are the only person
who can make being sung to sleep
929
00:38:37,810 --> 00:38:39,400
sound like waterboarding.
930
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,570
Well, it's not that dissimilar.
931
00:38:41,650 --> 00:38:44,740
These, erm, folk songs
make you wanna string yourself up.
932
00:38:45,570 --> 00:38:47,660
Is that where you get your singing from?
933
00:38:47,740 --> 00:38:50,370
Yes. She was a singer
back in, erm, the homeland.
934
00:38:50,450 --> 00:38:51,450
Where was that?
935
00:38:51,540 --> 00:38:54,000
Former Yugoslavia. We had to escape.
936
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:55,870
-Because of the war?
-Exactly.
937
00:38:56,620 --> 00:38:58,880
Hmm. Must've been hard.
938
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:00,210
Yeah.
939
00:39:00,300 --> 00:39:01,500
Dad was a lawyer.
940
00:39:01,590 --> 00:39:03,720
Erm, and now, he stays away from home
941
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,630
as much as he can
because he'd rather be dead.
942
00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:07,680
(CHUCKLES LIGHTLY)
Except he's a minicab driver,
943
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:10,350
which is sort of the same thing.
944
00:39:11,260 --> 00:39:12,390
Can he not practice here?
945
00:39:12,470 --> 00:39:14,560
No, he couldn't afford to retrain.
946
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:16,640
So he's out all the time.
947
00:39:16,730 --> 00:39:18,400
Also to avoid my mother,
948
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:21,770
who's given to depression in
much the same way as, erm...
949
00:39:21,860 --> 00:39:23,150
What?
950
00:39:23,230 --> 00:39:24,860
You're looking at me like some sort of
951
00:39:24,940 --> 00:39:26,320
science experiment that's gone wrong.
952
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,620
-Sorry. No, I'm interested.
-Oh.
953
00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:30,700
I mean, your mother.
954
00:39:30,780 --> 00:39:32,540
When was the last time you saw her
not being depressed?
955
00:39:32,620 --> 00:39:34,200
(SCOFFS, INHALES SHARPLY)
956
00:39:34,790 --> 00:39:37,080
(EXHALES) I think when I got really ill.
957
00:39:37,170 --> 00:39:38,750
And she was happy about that?
958
00:39:38,830 --> 00:39:43,130
No, but she was happy about the attention.
959
00:39:43,210 --> 00:39:45,630
I mean, I got a lot of attention,
960
00:39:45,720 --> 00:39:47,300
but I was unconscious.
961
00:39:47,380 --> 00:39:48,510
She got more.
962
00:39:48,590 --> 00:39:51,600
Just the doctors,
the nurses, the hospital staff.
963
00:39:52,310 --> 00:39:54,390
Drama. God, she loved it.
964
00:39:54,470 --> 00:39:56,020
She sort of flowered under it
965
00:39:56,100 --> 00:39:58,390
like a late blossoming or something.
966
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,560
Anyway, when I got better,
it all went away,
967
00:40:01,650 --> 00:40:03,690
and she's just never been the same since.
968
00:40:03,780 --> 00:40:05,780
Well, maybe she enjoyed
being needed again.
969
00:40:05,860 --> 00:40:08,150
Oh, trust you to come up
with something understanding.
970
00:40:09,860 --> 00:40:12,780
That is truly horrific.
I mean, who buys this stuff?
971
00:40:12,870 --> 00:40:13,870
Santa.
972
00:40:13,950 --> 00:40:16,290
She's Chinese, so she's, you know,
973
00:40:16,370 --> 00:40:19,420
got access to some really freaky outlets.
974
00:40:19,500 --> 00:40:22,500
She just loves Christmas
more than anything else.
975
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:25,710
-More than taste or sanity.
-Yes, exactly.
976
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,760
And that isn't even
the nastiest thing we sell.
977
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:29,880
Inconceivable.
978
00:40:30,430 --> 00:40:31,430
Hang on.
979
00:40:33,850 --> 00:40:36,720
-(IMITATES FANFARE)
-Oh!
980
00:40:36,810 --> 00:40:38,480
KATE: Check it out.
TOM: What is it?
981
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:39,640
Is that donkey actually smiling at me?
982
00:40:39,730 --> 00:40:42,520
Yeah. And that baby
has a full set of teeth.
983
00:40:42,610 --> 00:40:44,150
TOM: Oof.
KATE: I sold four of these
984
00:40:44,230 --> 00:40:45,610
last week. I'm that good.
985
00:40:45,690 --> 00:40:47,360
(LAST CHRISTMAS
(TWISTER TECHNO REMIX EDIT) PLAYING)
986
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:49,150
-(BEATBOXING)
-Oh, it's a techno manger.
987
00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:50,240
Yeah.
988
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:51,990
-It's a disco nativity scene.
-(LAUGHS)
989
00:40:52,070 --> 00:40:53,950
Is that really a good nutritional choice?
990
00:40:54,030 --> 00:40:55,450
Oh, God. Don't you start.
991
00:40:56,450 --> 00:40:57,450
Where are you?
992
00:40:58,370 --> 00:40:59,500
Look up.
993
00:41:01,290 --> 00:41:02,290
Yeah.
994
00:41:02,380 --> 00:41:04,500
You know, after what you've been through,
995
00:41:04,590 --> 00:41:07,460
shouldn't you be eating
quinoa or kale or something?
996
00:41:07,550 --> 00:41:10,630
Yeah. But this admittedly rank burger
997
00:41:10,720 --> 00:41:12,050
is all part of my grand plan
998
00:41:12,140 --> 00:41:13,430
to become a famous singer
999
00:41:13,510 --> 00:41:16,430
and die like Kurt Cobain,
Amy Winehouse and all the rest
1000
00:41:16,510 --> 00:41:17,560
at the age of 27.
1001
00:41:19,230 --> 00:41:20,770
-How old are you?
-45.
1002
00:41:21,390 --> 00:41:23,440
-Good to have dreams.
-Not really. I'm 26.
1003
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:25,020
Oh, thank God. You still have time.
1004
00:41:25,230 --> 00:41:26,360
(GIGGLES)
1005
00:41:26,820 --> 00:41:27,940
-Come on.
-Wait.
1006
00:41:28,030 --> 00:41:29,030
Get rid of that.
1007
00:41:29,110 --> 00:41:30,700
Let's go. I've got a surprise for you.
1008
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:34,950
Ugh. Really?
1009
00:41:35,030 --> 00:41:36,700
-KATE: Mmm. Yummy.
-(TOM LAUGHS)
1010
00:41:38,370 --> 00:41:39,700
There's something wrong with me, you know?
1011
00:41:39,790 --> 00:41:41,080
I'm too trusting.
1012
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:43,290
Down a dark alley again
with a complete stranger.
1013
00:41:43,370 --> 00:41:44,790
-I don't even...
-Pop yourself over here.
1014
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:47,050
I mean, seriously,
where are you... (EXCLAIMS)
1015
00:41:49,420 --> 00:41:50,670
-All right, then.
-Need a hand?
1016
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:51,760
No.
1017
00:41:52,260 --> 00:41:53,930
-(GRUNTS)
-Oh.
1018
00:41:54,010 --> 00:41:55,050
(KATE GRUNTS)
1019
00:41:55,140 --> 00:41:56,600
-Oh, my God.
-Oh! That looked painful.
1020
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:58,350
Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine!
1021
00:41:58,430 --> 00:42:00,390
You're fine.
That was like poetry in motion.
1022
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:01,480
KATE: Piss off.
TOM: Come on.
1023
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,440
KATE: Sure. Never wanted kids anyway.
1024
00:42:04,230 --> 00:42:05,560
(GROANS)
1025
00:42:06,610 --> 00:42:08,860
Okay. Now I am intrigued.
1026
00:42:08,940 --> 00:42:11,150
-How are you gonna dispose of my body?
-(SHUSHING)
1027
00:42:11,240 --> 00:42:13,400
-Shh!
-I am shh-ing.
1028
00:42:15,990 --> 00:42:17,030
(IMITATES SEAN CONNERY) Stay back.
1029
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,370
Are you seriously
doing a James Bond impression?
1030
00:42:19,450 --> 00:42:21,160
(NORMAL VOICE) Now is not the time
for unpleasantness.
1031
00:42:22,410 --> 00:42:25,120
Now is the time for romance!
1032
00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:27,210
('90s POP SONG PLAYING)
1033
00:42:34,090 --> 00:42:35,090
You like?
1034
00:42:36,550 --> 00:42:37,550
I like.
1035
00:42:38,930 --> 00:42:40,270
Let's go.
1036
00:42:40,350 --> 00:42:42,350
('90s POP SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1037
00:42:48,020 --> 00:42:49,320
(INAUDIBLE)
1038
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:22,350
('90s POP SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1039
00:43:47,870 --> 00:43:49,380
-(SWITCH CLICKS)
-Oi!
1040
00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:50,750
-Oh! Sorry!
-Oh, crap.
1041
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:52,050
MAN: You can't be in here!
1042
00:43:52,130 --> 00:43:53,130
TOM: Yeah. No. We're leaving.
1043
00:43:53,210 --> 00:43:54,380
KATE: Sorry. Absolutely. We're leaving.
1044
00:43:54,460 --> 00:43:55,510
-Sorry... Aah!
-TOM: Oh!
1045
00:43:55,590 --> 00:43:57,590
-(KATE EXCLAIMS)
-(TOM PANTING)
1046
00:43:57,680 --> 00:43:59,180
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1047
00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:02,310
KATE: Ouch! I'm coming.
1048
00:44:02,850 --> 00:44:04,770
(BOTH CHUCKLE, EXHALE)
1049
00:44:04,850 --> 00:44:06,230
I would, er...
1050
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,230
I'd call that a successful date.
1051
00:44:08,310 --> 00:44:11,810
Fun, free, illegal. Romantic.
1052
00:44:11,900 --> 00:44:13,570
And practical, too. Don't forget.
1053
00:44:13,650 --> 00:44:14,820
(CHUCKLES) Why practical?
1054
00:44:14,900 --> 00:44:16,990
Your audition. Remember?
1055
00:44:17,070 --> 00:44:18,070
Yes.
1056
00:44:18,150 --> 00:44:19,450
I'd like to think that I played a part
1057
00:44:19,530 --> 00:44:20,530
in your rise to stardom.
1058
00:44:20,620 --> 00:44:21,620
(CHUCKLES)
1059
00:44:21,700 --> 00:44:22,870
Remember me when you're at the top.
1060
00:44:23,620 --> 00:44:25,040
No chance. Tom who?
1061
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:27,330
Actually, Tom who?
1062
00:44:29,210 --> 00:44:30,210
Webster.
1063
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:32,290
Ah.
1064
00:44:32,380 --> 00:44:33,630
You look like a Webster.
1065
00:44:36,300 --> 00:44:37,510
Now what?
1066
00:44:39,180 --> 00:44:40,550
Now I've gotta go to work.
1067
00:44:43,050 --> 00:44:44,640
Erm...
1068
00:44:44,720 --> 00:44:46,060
You knew.
1069
00:44:46,140 --> 00:44:47,350
I work nights.
1070
00:44:47,430 --> 00:44:48,770
Yes.
1071
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:50,440
I knew.
1072
00:44:51,350 --> 00:44:53,650
It's nights. Cool. Okay.
1073
00:44:53,730 --> 00:44:55,230
How you gonna get home?
1074
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:56,320
KATE: Oh, the bus.
1075
00:44:58,190 --> 00:44:59,280
TOM: You gonna be okay?
1076
00:45:00,570 --> 00:45:02,490
As okay as I'll ever be on the bus.
1077
00:45:03,070 --> 00:45:04,240
TOM: Okay, then.
1078
00:45:04,660 --> 00:45:06,040
I'll come find you at the shop.
1079
00:45:06,700 --> 00:45:08,960
I'm not sure if I've still got a job.
1080
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:10,500
Santa kind of hates me.
1081
00:45:10,580 --> 00:45:12,830
Maybe you should do
something nice for Santa.
1082
00:45:14,460 --> 00:45:15,460
Good luck.
1083
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:21,680
Look up.
1084
00:45:25,850 --> 00:45:26,850
(HORN HONKS)
1085
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:29,390
-(HORN BLARES)
-Oh, Christ.
1086
00:45:31,390 --> 00:45:33,150
So, this is our selection of nutcrackers.
1087
00:45:33,230 --> 00:45:34,480
Working hard over here.
1088
00:45:35,110 --> 00:45:36,230
MAN: Mmm-hmm.
WOMAN: Mmm.
1089
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:37,570
You know, from the ballet?
1090
00:45:37,650 --> 00:45:38,820
-Tchaikovsky.
-WOMAN: Ah.
1091
00:45:38,900 --> 00:45:40,610
MAN: What kind of music is this?
1092
00:45:42,110 --> 00:45:43,160
SANTA: This is Christmas music.
1093
00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:45,030
You must enjoy it.
1094
00:45:50,830 --> 00:45:52,040
(INAUDIBLE)
1095
00:45:52,500 --> 00:45:53,830
SANTA: This is a big nutcracker.
1096
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:55,500
MAN: Can my nuts fit inside there?
1097
00:45:55,590 --> 00:45:57,000
SANTA: Depends on how big are your nuts?
1098
00:45:57,090 --> 00:45:59,090
WOMAN: But it's too big.
We can't take that with us.
1099
00:45:59,170 --> 00:46:01,970
Santa, erm, I think
I can take over from there.
1100
00:46:02,050 --> 00:46:04,180
Because, erm, there's also someone here,
1101
00:46:04,260 --> 00:46:07,060
a gentleman, who requires
your specific assistance.
1102
00:46:07,140 --> 00:46:09,640
SANTA: Yes, you can have a look.
Think about it.
1103
00:46:10,060 --> 00:46:11,060
KATE: I'm gonna show you
1104
00:46:11,140 --> 00:46:12,850
to the even bigger nutcrackers
around the corner.
1105
00:46:12,940 --> 00:46:14,150
MAN: There's bigger nuts?
1106
00:46:14,230 --> 00:46:15,900
KATE: For your big nuts. Here we are.
1107
00:46:18,820 --> 00:46:21,070
Have you come back for the gibbon?
1108
00:46:22,450 --> 00:46:25,320
Of all the things in my life,
1109
00:46:25,410 --> 00:46:28,910
this is my best thing.
1110
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:31,040
What is?
1111
00:46:31,830 --> 00:46:33,330
Christmas.
1112
00:46:35,170 --> 00:46:36,170
Really?
1113
00:46:36,250 --> 00:46:38,170
This is why I love to come in here.
1114
00:46:38,630 --> 00:46:40,130
I also love it.
1115
00:46:40,210 --> 00:46:42,090
That is why I have this shop.
1116
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:45,390
Oh, wow.
1117
00:46:46,050 --> 00:46:47,220
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
1118
00:46:47,850 --> 00:46:50,100
(CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING)
1119
00:47:01,780 --> 00:47:03,240
-(APPLAUSE)
-(SONG ENDS)
1120
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:05,700
Kate, that was lovely. Thank you.
1121
00:47:05,780 --> 00:47:08,120
Wonderful. I can smell the commitment.
1122
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:09,530
Do you know we have people turn up here
1123
00:47:09,620 --> 00:47:10,910
never been on an ice rink before?
1124
00:47:10,990 --> 00:47:13,200
(LAUGHING) I just couldn't imagine.
1125
00:47:13,290 --> 00:47:15,960
Do you know we had a woman turn up
in a crop top?
1126
00:47:16,710 --> 00:47:18,080
-In a crop top to audition.
-Yeah, I remember.
1127
00:47:18,170 --> 00:47:19,290
Remember her flip-flops? Remember those?
1128
00:47:19,380 --> 00:47:20,380
I remember.
1129
00:47:20,460 --> 00:47:22,300
CASTING DIRECTOR: Thank you.
We'll be in touch.
1130
00:47:22,380 --> 00:47:24,470
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
1131
00:47:24,550 --> 00:47:26,510
I think she'd be good for the horse.
Don't you think?
1132
00:47:26,590 --> 00:47:28,050
DIRECTOR: No, we can...
KATE: Oh, no!
1133
00:47:29,890 --> 00:47:30,970
DIRECTOR: Are you all right?
1134
00:47:31,060 --> 00:47:34,230
I, er, did that just in case
you thought I was too perfect.
1135
00:47:34,310 --> 00:47:35,310
(CHUCKLES)
1136
00:47:35,390 --> 00:47:36,600
Okay.
1137
00:47:37,810 --> 00:47:38,810
Okay.
1138
00:47:38,900 --> 00:47:40,690
DIRECTOR: Thank goodness
for a heavy woolen tight.
1139
00:47:40,770 --> 00:47:41,770
Idiot.
1140
00:47:43,230 --> 00:47:44,740
Skaters fall. It's fine.
1141
00:47:45,070 --> 00:47:47,070
(STREET PERFORMER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
1142
00:47:47,570 --> 00:47:48,870
(CROWD CLAPPING)
1143
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:56,410
(CROWD CLAPPING)
1144
00:48:01,130 --> 00:48:03,800
So, it went well. And I am happy.
1145
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:05,010
SANTA: Good.
1146
00:48:05,090 --> 00:48:06,760
KATE: All set for your date?
1147
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:07,840
Good Lord.
1148
00:48:08,220 --> 00:48:09,220
(CLEARS THROAT)
1149
00:48:10,970 --> 00:48:13,970
-Okay. Right. Erm...
-What?
1150
00:48:14,060 --> 00:48:15,980
We're just gonna need to dial this down.
1151
00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:17,390
I'm making an effort.
1152
00:48:17,850 --> 00:48:18,850
He's gonna think he's wandered
1153
00:48:18,940 --> 00:48:20,900
into the llama enclosure. Close.
1154
00:48:20,980 --> 00:48:22,020
(SIGHS)
1155
00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:24,650
-Ow.
-Mmm-hmm.
1156
00:48:25,570 --> 00:48:28,030
-Ow.
-Oh, yeah. Serves you right.
1157
00:48:28,110 --> 00:48:29,910
So I defer to the Swiper queen.
1158
00:48:29,990 --> 00:48:31,870
-Blot.
-Mmm. Mmm.
1159
00:48:33,660 --> 00:48:34,660
There we are.
1160
00:48:36,620 --> 00:48:38,620
So where is See-Through taking you?
1161
00:48:38,710 --> 00:48:39,830
I have no idea.
1162
00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:42,130
-What's his name?
-I can't pronounce it.
1163
00:48:42,210 --> 00:48:44,170
Lots of glottal stops.
1164
00:48:44,250 --> 00:48:46,170
"Yogh..." (HOCKING)
1165
00:48:46,260 --> 00:48:47,510
Oh, when I try to say it,
1166
00:48:47,590 --> 00:48:49,930
I sound like a cat with a furball.
1167
00:48:50,010 --> 00:48:52,300
So I've decided to call him "Boy."
1168
00:48:52,390 --> 00:48:54,850
Mmm. Well, at least your
name's easier to pronounce.
1169
00:48:54,930 --> 00:48:56,890
What? "Huang Qing Shin"?
1170
00:48:58,850 --> 00:49:00,310
You're not really called "Santa"?
1171
00:49:00,980 --> 00:49:03,400
Of course not, idiot.
I chose it for the shop.
1172
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:05,320
-Really?
-Oh, when I worked
1173
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:07,690
at the pet shop, I called myself "Kitty."
1174
00:49:07,780 --> 00:49:09,240
-No.
-Mmm-hmm.
1175
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:13,580
And at the health food shop, I was "Miso."
1176
00:49:13,660 --> 00:49:15,620
-No, no.
-Mmm-hmm. Yes, yes.
1177
00:49:15,700 --> 00:49:18,290
Guess what it was in the
bakery on the Edgware Road?
1178
00:49:18,370 --> 00:49:20,750
Er, "Crumpet"? "Sausage roll"?
1179
00:49:20,830 --> 00:49:22,290
-"Muffin."
-"Muffin"?
1180
00:49:22,380 --> 00:49:23,380
"Muff" for short.
1181
00:49:23,460 --> 00:49:24,460
Excellent.
1182
00:49:24,540 --> 00:49:27,050
More important is, how do I look?
1183
00:49:28,420 --> 00:49:29,420
Really hot.
1184
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:30,840
(GIGGLES)
1185
00:49:31,720 --> 00:49:33,340
Did you just giggle like a girl?
1186
00:49:33,430 --> 00:49:35,430
-I am a girl.
-Not really.
1187
00:49:35,510 --> 00:49:38,730
Oh, shut up.
And where's this man of yours?
1188
00:49:38,810 --> 00:49:40,890
The one you keep
looking out the window for
1189
00:49:40,980 --> 00:49:42,190
instead of working?
1190
00:49:42,850 --> 00:49:44,860
Oh, I don't know. He hasn't got a phone.
1191
00:49:44,940 --> 00:49:47,570
-Oh. He's wise.
-Hmm.
1192
00:49:47,650 --> 00:49:48,940
What is he doing with you?
1193
00:49:49,030 --> 00:49:50,030
Nothing.
1194
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:51,570
Mmm.
1195
00:49:52,530 --> 00:49:54,370
Don't worry, elf.
1196
00:49:54,450 --> 00:49:55,660
He'll turn up.
1197
00:50:02,830 --> 00:50:04,290
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
1198
00:50:23,980 --> 00:50:25,360
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1199
00:50:39,330 --> 00:50:40,330
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1200
00:50:42,910 --> 00:50:44,870
Hi. Excuse me.
I'm just looking for someone.
1201
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:46,500
-Who's that, then?
-Er, Tom.
1202
00:50:46,580 --> 00:50:47,750
(TUTTING)
1203
00:50:48,340 --> 00:50:49,800
Would you like a biscuit, Arthur?
1204
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:51,260
Have you got a bourbon, Danny-boy?
1205
00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:54,220
No. But can I press you
to a custard cream?
1206
00:50:54,300 --> 00:50:56,090
Ooh, I wish somebody would.
1207
00:50:56,510 --> 00:50:58,890
-Tom, did you say?
-Yeah. Tom. Erm, he's tall...
1208
00:50:58,970 --> 00:50:59,970
Tom!
1209
00:51:00,060 --> 00:51:01,470
(MEN RESPOND)
1210
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:02,850
DANNY: Take your pick, young lady.
1211
00:51:04,190 --> 00:51:05,810
Right. Yeah. See, the thing is,
1212
00:51:05,900 --> 00:51:07,560
he's not homeless.
1213
00:51:07,650 --> 00:51:09,230
Well, what's he doing here, then?
1214
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:11,230
Erm, well, he works here.
1215
00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:12,530
-Nights, I think.
-Ah.
1216
00:51:12,610 --> 00:51:14,740
I don't see the night lot, me.
He must be a volunteer.
1217
00:51:14,820 --> 00:51:15,820
Yes. That's...
1218
00:51:15,910 --> 00:51:17,370
MAN: Oi, Danny! Can you give us a hand?
1219
00:51:17,450 --> 00:51:18,530
Speaking of which,
1220
00:51:18,620 --> 00:51:21,950
be a pet and serve the teas
while I get the soup sorted.
1221
00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:23,790
And only two biscuits each, mind.
1222
00:51:23,870 --> 00:51:24,870
I'm not made of bloody biscuits.
1223
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:25,960
And watch this one,
1224
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:27,960
'cause last week, he filled his pockets.
1225
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:29,670
Come on, then. Tea's up.
1226
00:51:29,750 --> 00:51:30,750
Okay.
1227
00:51:32,170 --> 00:51:34,260
I'm Tom. Ex-grenadier.
1228
00:51:34,340 --> 00:51:35,340
-KATE: Lovely. Erm...
-Will I do?
1229
00:51:35,430 --> 00:51:38,640
You know, actually,
it's a whole different Tom.
1230
00:51:38,720 --> 00:51:40,260
But would you like a biscuit?
1231
00:51:40,350 --> 00:51:42,020
I could make some tea.
1232
00:51:44,770 --> 00:51:46,600
-Just the two, then?
-Just...
1233
00:51:52,440 --> 00:51:53,860
Anyone like a cup of tea?
1234
00:51:55,490 --> 00:51:56,910
Try and keep it down to... Oi, oi.
1235
00:51:57,860 --> 00:51:59,280
Nice of you to volunteer.
1236
00:51:59,370 --> 00:52:00,870
Well, I didn't. I was press-ganged.
1237
00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:02,700
You wanna help us with the soup?
1238
00:52:02,790 --> 00:52:04,370
KATE: No. Thank you, but no.
1239
00:52:04,450 --> 00:52:06,540
If Tom Webster does come in,
1240
00:52:06,620 --> 00:52:08,880
could you just tell him that
Kate needs to talk to him?
1241
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:09,960
Not "needs."
1242
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:11,040
"Would like"?
1243
00:52:11,670 --> 00:52:12,670
Yeah.
1244
00:52:13,420 --> 00:52:14,880
-Yeah.
-Got it.
1245
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:16,260
Yeah. 'Cause he doesn't have a phone.
1246
00:52:16,340 --> 00:52:17,680
Would you like a bowl of soup?
You've earned it.
1247
00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:20,220
No, I'm good. Thanks.
1248
00:52:21,970 --> 00:52:23,600
Dan, what do you reckon?
1249
00:52:25,310 --> 00:52:26,770
Bit up herself, I thought.
1250
00:52:29,690 --> 00:52:32,520
-(MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)
-PETRA: And she's very happy.
1251
00:52:32,610 --> 00:52:34,650
-I show you picture.
-MARTA: You showed me, Mum.
1252
00:52:34,730 --> 00:52:36,780
-A little beautiful picture.
-MARTA: You showed me last time.
1253
00:52:36,860 --> 00:52:38,450
-Hey.
-(SQUEALS)
1254
00:52:38,530 --> 00:52:40,450
-At last!
-Hey. There she is. (CHUCKLES)
1255
00:52:40,530 --> 00:52:41,530
PETRA: Hey. At last.
1256
00:52:41,620 --> 00:52:43,120
I was so worry.
1257
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:44,490
Where you are? Huh?
1258
00:52:44,580 --> 00:52:47,000
I was volunteering at a homeless shelter.
1259
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:49,120
-What it mean?
-It means helping, Mum.
1260
00:52:49,210 --> 00:52:50,580
-You? Helping?
-Yes.
1261
00:52:50,670 --> 00:52:52,040
Ah. Sure you were.
1262
00:52:52,130 --> 00:52:54,170
And I just rescued an orphan
from a burning car.
1263
00:52:54,250 --> 00:52:55,510
(CLEARS THROAT)
1264
00:52:55,590 --> 00:52:56,800
Did I miss something?
1265
00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:58,050
Oh, wow.
1266
00:52:58,420 --> 00:53:00,090
Jebote, Marta. I'm sorry.
1267
00:53:00,180 --> 00:53:01,760
The dinner to celebrate your promotion.
1268
00:53:01,850 --> 00:53:04,100
Second promotion. Great achievement.
1269
00:53:04,180 --> 00:53:05,430
Thank you, Dad.
1270
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:07,140
Now you are here, we have krem torta.
1271
00:53:07,230 --> 00:53:08,520
KATE: I'm sorry.
1272
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:09,770
Seriously, Marta, I am sorry.
1273
00:53:09,850 --> 00:53:11,480
It doesn't matter.
1274
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:12,730
Oh, thanks a lot, Mum.
1275
00:53:12,810 --> 00:53:13,900
Your favorite.
1276
00:53:13,980 --> 00:53:14,980
I'm all right, actually.
1277
00:53:15,070 --> 00:53:16,400
What? So is there something wrong
1278
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:17,820
with your favorite cake now?
1279
00:53:17,900 --> 00:53:19,650
No. I'm just not hungry.
1280
00:53:19,740 --> 00:53:20,780
Well, I'm...
1281
00:53:20,860 --> 00:53:22,410
There's always something, isn't there?
1282
00:53:22,490 --> 00:53:24,410
Like you're hungry, you're not hungry.
1283
00:53:24,490 --> 00:53:27,000
You're tired, you're overexcited.
1284
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:28,500
-You've got a tummy ache.
-(SIGHS)
1285
00:53:29,370 --> 00:53:31,580
Gosh, you're so tiresome, Katarina.
1286
00:53:31,670 --> 00:53:34,090
Nabijem te na kurac, Marta. It's Kate.
1287
00:53:34,170 --> 00:53:35,420
-Hey, hey, hey.
-(LAUGHS)
1288
00:53:35,500 --> 00:53:37,210
You taught her this terrible word?
1289
00:53:37,300 --> 00:53:38,300
Of course not.
1290
00:53:38,380 --> 00:53:40,340
Do you actually even know
what "nabijem te na kurac" means?
1291
00:53:40,430 --> 00:53:41,510
Er, yeah. I actually do.
1292
00:53:41,590 --> 00:53:43,970
It means, "I will nail you to my dick."
1293
00:53:44,050 --> 00:53:46,100
-Yeah, I knew that.
-Not "dick." "Penis."
1294
00:53:46,180 --> 00:53:48,100
Well, "dick" means "penis."
1295
00:53:48,180 --> 00:53:50,310
-"Dick" means "penis"?
-"Dick" means "penis." Yeah.
1296
00:53:50,390 --> 00:53:52,020
No. Dick is our neighbor.
1297
00:53:52,100 --> 00:53:53,480
It also means "penis."
1298
00:53:53,560 --> 00:53:55,230
Dick, our neighbor is called "penis"?
1299
00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:57,320
"Dick" is "penis." "Penis" is "dick."
That's the same word.
1300
00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:58,650
Would you stop saying "dick" and "penis"?
1301
00:53:58,740 --> 00:53:59,740
I'm trying to explain.
1302
00:53:59,820 --> 00:54:02,530
Whatever, you know.
I'm just so bored of your shit.
1303
00:54:02,610 --> 00:54:03,870
Marta, stop. She's ill.
1304
00:54:03,950 --> 00:54:05,580
She's not ill anymore, Mum.
1305
00:54:05,660 --> 00:54:06,830
She is not ill anymore, Petra.
1306
00:54:06,910 --> 00:54:07,990
And what you know?
1307
00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:09,660
What you know anything about this family?
1308
00:54:09,750 --> 00:54:10,750
You're never here.
1309
00:54:10,830 --> 00:54:11,870
I'm not ill anymore, all right?
1310
00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:13,580
If she is still ill,
why is she still working
1311
00:54:13,670 --> 00:54:14,830
in silly Christmas shop
1312
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:17,380
when she was always the bright one?
1313
00:54:17,460 --> 00:54:19,590
-(CURSES IN SERBO-CROATIAN)
-(SHUSHES)
1314
00:54:20,260 --> 00:54:21,470
You are very hard worker.
1315
00:54:21,550 --> 00:54:23,260
(STAMMERS) Right. Yeah.
1316
00:54:23,340 --> 00:54:26,260
Apparently, with my pathetic,
inferior little brain.
1317
00:54:26,350 --> 00:54:30,180
Now she's wasting her life,
which only a miracle save her.
1318
00:54:30,270 --> 00:54:31,560
Wasting my life. Thanks, Mum.
1319
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:33,390
And you have job you dream of.
1320
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:36,440
Yeah. Except that
I didn't dream of it, did I? You did.
1321
00:54:36,940 --> 00:54:39,110
Dad can't be a lawyer here,
so I had to be.
1322
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:41,150
No matter what I might have
actually wanted to do.
1323
00:54:41,240 --> 00:54:42,700
Would you rather drive minicab?
1324
00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:45,820
Look what it done to him.
He look 1,000 years old.
1325
00:54:45,910 --> 00:54:47,740
Oh, thanks. (CURSES IN CROATIAN)
1326
00:54:47,830 --> 00:54:48,870
And you, you sit there,
1327
00:54:48,950 --> 00:54:50,160
and you think it's absolutely acceptable
1328
00:54:50,250 --> 00:54:51,370
to say that she's cleverer than me.
1329
00:54:51,450 --> 00:54:53,540
And I'm expected to swallow it
just because she's been ill.
1330
00:54:53,620 --> 00:54:54,870
Marta, calm down.
1331
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:57,380
No. Don't you dare tell me
to calm down, all right?
1332
00:54:57,460 --> 00:55:01,050
You don't care about anything, Katarina,
1333
00:55:01,130 --> 00:55:02,670
or Kate or whatever your name is now
1334
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:04,260
because you're ashamed of who you are.
1335
00:55:04,340 --> 00:55:06,140
Oh, I'm ashamed of who I am?
1336
00:55:06,220 --> 00:55:07,430
-(SCOFFS)
-What about you?
1337
00:55:07,510 --> 00:55:08,810
Where's Alba?
1338
00:55:09,390 --> 00:55:10,390
(SOFTLY) Shut up.
1339
00:55:10,470 --> 00:55:11,850
KATE: On your big celebration dinner,
1340
00:55:11,930 --> 00:55:13,560
where is your girlfriend?
1341
00:55:14,690 --> 00:55:18,190
"Alba"? Alba is...
Alba is Marta's flatmate.
1342
00:55:18,610 --> 00:55:19,730
KATE: Yeah. And that's how
it's always gonna be.
1343
00:55:19,820 --> 00:55:21,690
I bet she's really happy about that.
1344
00:55:23,030 --> 00:55:24,030
What she say?
1345
00:55:26,410 --> 00:55:27,910
You're a piece of work.
1346
00:55:27,990 --> 00:55:29,990
(SPEAKING CROATIAN)
1347
00:55:31,830 --> 00:55:32,830
IVAN: Marta.
1348
00:55:33,660 --> 00:55:34,910
-Marta.
-Marta.
1349
00:55:37,130 --> 00:55:38,130
Eh.
1350
00:55:39,130 --> 00:55:40,710
Eat. You look like skeleton.
1351
00:55:42,630 --> 00:55:45,090
(INHALES DEEPLY) I gotta go.
1352
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:47,800
Goodbye, Mum.
1353
00:55:49,890 --> 00:55:51,350
(BREATHES SHARPLY)
1354
00:55:52,430 --> 00:55:53,980
I will nail you to my dick.
1355
00:55:58,020 --> 00:55:59,900
('90s POP SONG PLAYING)
1356
00:56:17,210 --> 00:56:18,330
(LAUGHTER)
1357
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:45,360
TOM: Hey.
1358
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:46,950
What are you doing out so late?
1359
00:56:47,030 --> 00:56:48,030
Oh, where have you been?
1360
00:56:48,110 --> 00:56:49,360
What's up?
1361
00:56:49,450 --> 00:56:51,660
"What's up?" Me not being able
to find you is what's up.
1362
00:56:51,740 --> 00:56:54,450
You just... You've been
disappearing for days on end.
1363
00:56:54,540 --> 00:56:55,540
Two days.
1364
00:56:55,620 --> 00:56:56,750
And I've been trying to find you.
1365
00:56:56,830 --> 00:56:58,500
So take your stupid phone
out of your stupid cupboard
1366
00:56:58,580 --> 00:57:00,250
and contact me, all right? 'Cause...
1367
00:57:01,380 --> 00:57:02,790
'Cause I've just been really stupid.
1368
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:06,050
I've been really, really stupid.
1369
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:08,050
I mean, it's a bit of a stretch,
1370
00:57:08,130 --> 00:57:09,430
but have you had a couple of drinks?
1371
00:57:09,510 --> 00:57:12,680
Oh, bugger off with
your cleanly manliness, all right?
1372
00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:15,350
Just... Just go back to work.
Leave me alone.
1373
00:57:15,430 --> 00:57:17,850
No, I've just come back
from helping the needy.
1374
00:57:17,930 --> 00:57:19,100
Great.
1375
00:57:19,190 --> 00:57:21,310
You know, just a bit of psych-work.
1376
00:57:21,400 --> 00:57:22,940
I work with the severely distressed.
1377
00:57:23,020 --> 00:57:24,400
You know, when they get off on one.
1378
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:26,110
-Ah.
-In fact,
1379
00:57:26,190 --> 00:57:28,070
you're severely distressed
and have just gone off on one,
1380
00:57:28,150 --> 00:57:29,990
so I'm glad that
we bumped into each other.
1381
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:35,580
Shall we go get my phone
from that cupboard?
1382
00:57:37,450 --> 00:57:38,750
Okay.
1383
00:57:42,380 --> 00:57:43,540
Let's go.
1384
00:57:43,630 --> 00:57:45,000
Where are you taking me?
1385
00:57:47,010 --> 00:57:48,010
Home.
1386
00:57:57,680 --> 00:57:58,770
-It's down here.
-Yeah.
1387
00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:24,080
Come on in.
1388
00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:34,180
Oh, wow. You weren't kidding.
1389
00:58:34,760 --> 00:58:36,180
The place is so tidy.
1390
00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:38,140
-Come take a seat.
-No. No.
1391
00:58:38,220 --> 00:58:40,270
I can't. I'll crease something
or just spontaneously wee.
1392
00:58:40,350 --> 00:58:42,850
I'm gonna sit on the floor.
1393
00:58:43,940 --> 00:58:45,100
There's plenty of seats.
1394
00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:48,360
Nice landing.
1395
00:58:51,030 --> 00:58:52,240
You're not yourself.
1396
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:53,320
No?
1397
00:58:54,070 --> 00:58:55,070
Maybe I'm wrong.
1398
00:58:55,530 --> 00:58:56,740
Wrong about what?
1399
00:58:56,820 --> 00:58:59,330
Maybe this is more you than anything.
1400
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:07,170
I'm a mess.
1401
00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:09,800
Kind of.
1402
00:59:11,510 --> 00:59:12,510
In here.
1403
00:59:19,430 --> 00:59:20,930
When I was ill...
1404
00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:24,020
It was a heart thing.
1405
00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:26,440
-(INHALES SHARPLY)
-Right.
1406
00:59:28,860 --> 00:59:30,190
I had a heart transplant.
1407
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:32,900
I don't tell people 'cause they get weird.
1408
00:59:32,990 --> 00:59:34,900
But I don't think you'll get weird.
1409
00:59:36,410 --> 00:59:37,410
No.
1410
00:59:50,590 --> 00:59:51,590
Is this okay?
1411
01:00:11,860 --> 01:00:14,900
They took out my heart.
1412
01:00:16,700 --> 01:00:19,910
They took it and threw it away. And I...
1413
01:00:20,910 --> 01:00:22,580
And I don't know what they put back,
1414
01:00:22,660 --> 01:00:27,920
but it felt weird
and different and strange
1415
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:30,170
and like I'd lost my most special part.
1416
01:00:33,710 --> 01:00:36,470
And they kept telling me
I was lucky to be alive.
1417
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:41,220
But I didn't feel alive.
I just felt half-dead.
1418
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:54,440
Come here.
1419
01:00:58,240 --> 01:00:59,410
(KATE GRUNTS SOFTLY)
1420
01:01:02,120 --> 01:01:03,950
I was supposed to be special.
1421
01:01:05,290 --> 01:01:07,540
I didn't ask to be,
1422
01:01:07,620 --> 01:01:09,290
but they made me
feel special when I was ill.
1423
01:01:09,370 --> 01:01:10,380
And then I was special
1424
01:01:10,460 --> 01:01:13,460
when I nearly died and had a transplant.
1425
01:01:15,050 --> 01:01:17,090
But then they just
expected me to be normal
1426
01:01:17,170 --> 01:01:18,630
and get on with life.
1427
01:01:19,720 --> 01:01:21,760
There's no such thing as normal.
1428
01:01:21,850 --> 01:01:24,850
It's a stupid word. Does a lot of damage.
1429
01:01:27,180 --> 01:01:28,430
Nothing feels right.
1430
01:01:32,440 --> 01:01:35,650
You're the only person
1431
01:01:35,730 --> 01:01:37,900
that makes me feel like, I don't know...
1432
01:01:41,410 --> 01:01:42,410
Solid.
1433
01:01:43,620 --> 01:01:45,990
Like I exist.
1434
01:01:49,210 --> 01:01:51,000
A part-time cycle-courier
1435
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:52,080
who doesn't even have a phone.
1436
01:01:52,170 --> 01:01:53,210
I know.
1437
01:01:53,290 --> 01:01:54,960
(CHUCKLES) It's pretty sad.
1438
01:01:56,630 --> 01:01:58,050
And I could sing before.
1439
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:00,260
Turns out
1440
01:02:00,340 --> 01:02:02,760
I can't do anything.
1441
01:02:05,310 --> 01:02:09,350
I think the whole being special
thing is overrated.
1442
01:02:11,940 --> 01:02:15,650
I think just to be a human being is hard,
1443
01:02:15,730 --> 01:02:17,360
you know, really hard.
1444
01:02:17,860 --> 01:02:19,530
You seem to manage all right.
1445
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:22,660
One thing someone said to me helped me.
1446
01:02:25,160 --> 01:02:28,160
"Every little action of the common day
1447
01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:30,750
"makes or unmakes character."
1448
01:02:31,920 --> 01:02:36,290
It just means that you're
built of everything you do.
1449
01:02:38,170 --> 01:02:39,510
And that's okay.
1450
01:02:45,010 --> 01:02:46,510
Who am I?
1451
01:02:47,810 --> 01:02:48,810
I don't know.
1452
01:02:49,220 --> 01:02:50,560
(LAUGHS)
1453
01:02:50,640 --> 01:02:52,310
What's all this "me" business anyway?
1454
01:02:52,390 --> 01:02:53,810
-(LAUGHS)
-Hmm?
1455
01:02:53,900 --> 01:02:56,940
What's wrong with not knowing,
1456
01:02:57,020 --> 01:02:59,320
you know, being inconsistent?
1457
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:01,190
Just uncertain.
1458
01:03:01,280 --> 01:03:02,820
Why do you have to be anything?
1459
01:03:09,410 --> 01:03:10,410
Tom.
1460
01:03:12,040 --> 01:03:13,040
Yeah?
1461
01:03:16,420 --> 01:03:17,670
Can we lie down?
1462
01:03:19,090 --> 01:03:20,090
Absolutely.
1463
01:03:21,970 --> 01:03:23,470
-Come on.
-Okay.
1464
01:03:23,550 --> 01:03:25,760
-Oh. Gently does it.
-Oh, my God.
1465
01:03:29,350 --> 01:03:30,560
Jump in there.
1466
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:32,480
-Ah, the bed.
-In the bed there.
1467
01:03:32,930 --> 01:03:34,940
The bed.
1468
01:03:35,980 --> 01:03:37,190
(STAMMERS)
1469
01:03:39,150 --> 01:03:41,900
Tom, I said "we."
1470
01:03:42,530 --> 01:03:44,200
This is close enough for now.
1471
01:03:44,280 --> 01:03:45,280
We hardly know each other.
1472
01:03:45,570 --> 01:03:46,990
(STAMMERS)
1473
01:03:47,950 --> 01:03:50,330
What do you mean? We... We...
1474
01:03:50,490 --> 01:03:52,250
I just told you everything
there is to know about me.
1475
01:03:52,330 --> 01:03:54,040
There is nothing more to know.
1476
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:56,670
You've just poured out
some very heavy-duty stuff.
1477
01:03:56,750 --> 01:03:58,500
I think you should just sleep for a bit.
1478
01:04:00,500 --> 01:04:01,920
Sing me to sleep?
1479
01:04:02,010 --> 01:04:03,050
Like your mum?
1480
01:04:03,130 --> 01:04:06,220
No, no. Oh, dear God. Not like my mum.
1481
01:04:06,630 --> 01:04:08,390
I'm a terrible singer, really.
1482
01:04:08,470 --> 01:04:09,470
Everyone can sing.
1483
01:04:09,550 --> 01:04:10,560
Mmm-mmm. Not me.
1484
01:04:14,060 --> 01:04:15,060
You sing.
1485
01:04:15,810 --> 01:04:16,940
You're the singer.
1486
01:04:17,020 --> 01:04:21,360
If I sing a lullaby,
will you kiss me good night?
1487
01:04:25,150 --> 01:04:26,360
(EXHALES)
1488
01:04:29,950 --> 01:04:31,950
(SINGING) Let me tell you a secret
1489
01:04:33,750 --> 01:04:36,330
Put it in your heart and keep it
1490
01:04:37,960 --> 01:04:40,250
Something that I want you to know
1491
01:04:41,790 --> 01:04:43,800
BOTH: (SINGING) Do something for me
1492
01:04:44,510 --> 01:04:47,550
Listen to my simple story
1493
01:04:48,050 --> 01:04:50,550
Maybe we'll have something to show
1494
01:04:50,640 --> 01:04:54,180
You tell me you're cold on the inside
1495
01:04:54,970 --> 01:04:57,350
How can the outside world
1496
01:04:58,020 --> 01:05:01,310
Be a place that your heart can embrace
1497
01:05:02,270 --> 01:05:04,280
BOTH: Be good to yourself
1498
01:05:05,150 --> 01:05:07,400
'Cause nobody else
1499
01:05:08,070 --> 01:05:12,240
Has the power to make you happy
1500
01:05:32,100 --> 01:05:33,470
(SOFTLY) Go to sleep.
1501
01:05:33,930 --> 01:05:35,220
Mmm.
1502
01:05:39,140 --> 01:05:40,230
(EXHALES)
1503
01:05:44,360 --> 01:05:46,360
(HEAL THE PAIN BY GEORGE MICHAEL PLAYING)
1504
01:06:21,190 --> 01:06:22,190
Can I get one of them?
1505
01:06:22,810 --> 01:06:23,980
There you go.
1506
01:06:35,330 --> 01:06:37,870
REPORTER: They called today
the Brexit betrayal rally.
1507
01:06:39,370 --> 01:06:40,960
Mum. Mum.
1508
01:06:41,040 --> 01:06:42,250
They hate us.
1509
01:06:42,330 --> 01:06:43,540
You all right?
1510
01:06:43,630 --> 01:06:45,590
They send us all back.
1511
01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:50,170
(KATE HUMMING)
1512
01:06:50,260 --> 01:06:52,130
Hmm. You're early.
1513
01:06:52,220 --> 01:06:54,430
Don't tell me
even your mother kicked you out?
1514
01:06:54,510 --> 01:06:55,510
No! I'm just...
1515
01:06:56,010 --> 01:06:57,260
Doing something for someone.
1516
01:06:57,350 --> 01:06:58,600
How was your date?
1517
01:06:58,680 --> 01:06:59,680
Really nice.
1518
01:06:59,770 --> 01:07:01,430
Are you really gonna call him Boy?
1519
01:07:01,520 --> 01:07:02,520
He likes it.
1520
01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:05,730
-What does he do?
-He's an expert on sauerkraut.
1521
01:07:05,810 --> 01:07:07,150
Mmm, you're kidding.
1522
01:07:07,690 --> 01:07:08,940
-I wish I were.
-(CHUCKLES)
1523
01:07:09,030 --> 01:07:10,740
Now I must learn to love sauerkraut.
1524
01:07:10,820 --> 01:07:13,780
Which will be hard
because I am not a sour person.
1525
01:07:14,410 --> 01:07:15,530
You'll do it for love.
1526
01:07:15,620 --> 01:07:17,830
Hey, there's a latte for you on the shelf.
1527
01:07:21,160 --> 01:07:22,460
What do you want?
1528
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:25,000
Nothing.
1529
01:07:25,830 --> 01:07:26,840
Then why?
1530
01:07:27,130 --> 01:07:28,550
Hmm. Mmm...
1531
01:07:28,630 --> 01:07:30,300
'Cause it's Monday.
1532
01:07:30,380 --> 01:07:31,420
Get to work.
1533
01:07:33,260 --> 01:07:34,260
Okay.
1534
01:07:47,730 --> 01:07:49,520
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
1535
01:07:56,780 --> 01:07:57,780
Okay.
1536
01:07:59,030 --> 01:08:00,030
All right.
1537
01:08:04,460 --> 01:08:05,500
(SNIFFS)
1538
01:08:06,880 --> 01:08:07,880
(CLEARS THROAT)
1539
01:08:09,500 --> 01:08:11,420
(SINGING) Dashing through the snow
1540
01:08:11,500 --> 01:08:13,300
In a one-horse open sleigh
1541
01:08:13,880 --> 01:08:15,590
O'er the fields we go
1542
01:08:15,680 --> 01:08:17,890
Laughing all the way
1543
01:08:17,970 --> 01:08:19,680
Bells on bobtail ring
1544
01:08:19,760 --> 01:08:21,510
Making spirits bright
1545
01:08:21,600 --> 01:08:23,720
What fun it is to ride and sing
1546
01:08:23,810 --> 01:08:25,310
In a sleighing song tonight
1547
01:08:25,390 --> 01:08:27,600
Hey! Jingle bells
Jingle bells
1548
01:08:27,690 --> 01:08:28,940
What have we here, then?
1549
01:08:30,270 --> 01:08:33,230
Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse open sleigh
1550
01:08:33,320 --> 01:08:34,740
Hey! Jingle bells
Jingle bells
1551
01:08:34,820 --> 01:08:37,820
You know we could book you
for causing an obstruction?
1552
01:08:37,910 --> 01:08:41,030
Oh, all right now,
PC Trenchant Old Baggage.
1553
01:08:41,120 --> 01:08:42,120
Just leave her alone.
1554
01:08:42,200 --> 01:08:44,000
No, I'm just saying
she's causing an obstruction.
1555
01:08:44,080 --> 01:08:45,790
Turn a blind eye.
1556
01:08:45,870 --> 01:08:48,750
'Tis the season to be jolly
Fa la-la-la-la
1557
01:08:49,130 --> 01:08:51,710
Well, that is quite the slippery slope.
1558
01:08:51,790 --> 01:08:54,210
What next, huh?
Turn a blind eye to robbery?
1559
01:08:54,300 --> 01:08:55,920
-Oh, come on, you.
-Arson?
1560
01:08:56,010 --> 01:08:57,550
-Come on now.
-Murder?
1561
01:08:58,380 --> 01:09:00,180
CHURCHILL: You have been
like this all day.
1562
01:09:02,060 --> 01:09:03,890
KATE: (CONTINUES SINGING)
Bells on bobtail ring
1563
01:09:03,970 --> 01:09:05,060
Making spirits fly
1564
01:09:05,770 --> 01:09:07,560
What fun it is to ride and sing
1565
01:09:07,640 --> 01:09:09,440
A sleighing song tonight
1566
01:09:10,310 --> 01:09:11,310
Hey! (CHUCKLES)
1567
01:09:22,910 --> 01:09:24,080
(CHUCKLES)
1568
01:09:27,250 --> 01:09:28,620
Yeah!
1569
01:09:29,370 --> 01:09:30,630
(LAUGHS)
1570
01:09:33,420 --> 01:09:34,500
(EXHALES)
1571
01:09:38,130 --> 01:09:39,260
(CLEARS THROAT)
1572
01:09:40,260 --> 01:09:42,260
(SINGING) Deck the halls
with boughs of holly
1573
01:09:42,350 --> 01:09:44,220
Fa la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
1574
01:09:44,310 --> 01:09:46,220
'Tis the season to be jolly
1575
01:09:47,220 --> 01:09:51,190
£5.75, two euros,
and a Fox's Glacier Mint.
1576
01:09:51,270 --> 01:09:53,400
-Less than minimum wage, then.
-Oi.
1577
01:09:53,480 --> 01:09:55,820
Yeah. I know... I know it's not much.
1578
01:09:55,900 --> 01:09:58,360
No, that's an hour of pure heart and soul.
1579
01:09:59,150 --> 01:10:00,610
That's riches, that is.
1580
01:10:00,700 --> 01:10:02,320
-Thanks.
-You're welcome.
1581
01:10:03,280 --> 01:10:05,030
So, did you find your Tom, then?
1582
01:10:05,620 --> 01:10:07,080
-Yeah.
-Nice.
1583
01:10:07,160 --> 01:10:08,290
-KATE: Yeah.
-Good for you.
1584
01:10:08,370 --> 01:10:09,370
Thank you.
1585
01:10:09,460 --> 01:10:12,210
I'm just gonna leave that right there.
1586
01:10:12,290 --> 01:10:13,500
Go nicely with your tea.
1587
01:10:15,000 --> 01:10:17,170
-See you soon. See you later.
-KATE: See ya.
1588
01:10:17,260 --> 01:10:18,670
Don't even know where that's been.
1589
01:10:18,760 --> 01:10:20,340
Dan, she doesn't have to help, you know.
1590
01:10:20,430 --> 01:10:21,890
Listen, I've seen
1591
01:10:21,970 --> 01:10:24,010
more of these
little middle-class do-gooders
1592
01:10:24,100 --> 01:10:25,470
than you've had hot dinners, mate.
1593
01:10:25,560 --> 01:10:26,930
Dan, I can't take your attitude.
1594
01:10:27,020 --> 01:10:28,270
You're so negative.
1595
01:10:29,430 --> 01:10:30,940
-Eat your mint.
-(CHUCKLES)
1596
01:10:31,640 --> 01:10:33,060
So I didn't get that Frozen job.
1597
01:10:33,520 --> 01:10:34,900
-You're fired.
-Hmm.
1598
01:10:35,320 --> 01:10:37,150
No, it's funny.
I'm all right about it, actually.
1599
01:10:37,230 --> 01:10:38,480
I'm not sure how I feel about
1600
01:10:38,570 --> 01:10:40,900
the whole auditioning thing in general.
1601
01:10:40,990 --> 01:10:42,200
I'm not sure it's that good for me.
1602
01:10:42,280 --> 01:10:44,200
I might just give it a break.
1603
01:10:46,490 --> 01:10:47,490
What's wrong with you?
1604
01:10:47,580 --> 01:10:48,580
What?
1605
01:10:48,660 --> 01:10:50,660
That sounds like quite a healthy choice.
1606
01:10:50,750 --> 01:10:52,250
I haven't heard you make one of those
1607
01:10:52,330 --> 01:10:54,080
in a very long time.
1608
01:10:54,170 --> 01:10:55,420
Well, don't panic.
1609
01:10:55,500 --> 01:10:57,170
I will go out and get shitfaced later.
1610
01:10:57,710 --> 01:10:59,010
-(GIGGLES)
-(SHOP BELL JINGLES)
1611
01:11:01,300 --> 01:11:03,340
-You're rehired.
-Oh.
1612
01:11:05,430 --> 01:11:06,430
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
1613
01:11:08,390 --> 01:11:09,470
Hello, Boy.
1614
01:11:09,560 --> 01:11:10,890
(SPEAKING MANDARIN)
1615
01:11:14,400 --> 01:11:16,650
(IN ENGLISH) It is a fermented
mini cabbage hedge.
1616
01:11:17,110 --> 01:11:18,110
Blimey.
1617
01:11:18,190 --> 01:11:21,360
Thank you. It's beautiful.
1618
01:11:21,440 --> 01:11:22,990
It was my grandmother's.
1619
01:11:23,610 --> 01:11:25,820
(QUIETLY) Oh, that's lovely.
That's very nice.
1620
01:11:25,910 --> 01:11:27,700
-Mmm.
-(WHISPERS) Go away.
1621
01:11:30,410 --> 01:11:34,080
(SINGING) I'm dreaming
of a white Christmas
1622
01:11:34,170 --> 01:11:36,170
(UPBEAT '80s POP SONG PLAYING)
1623
01:11:37,840 --> 01:11:39,250
(INAUDIBLE)
1624
01:11:56,690 --> 01:11:58,400
BOTH: (SINGING) Donald
Where's your troosers?
1625
01:12:03,860 --> 01:12:08,160
£27.35, some sort of a weird token thing
1626
01:12:08,240 --> 01:12:09,910
and a Strepsil.
1627
01:12:10,490 --> 01:12:11,790
It's coming along nicely.
1628
01:12:11,870 --> 01:12:13,370
Yeah. That's because of Arthur.
1629
01:12:13,450 --> 01:12:14,660
Bollocks it is.
1630
01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:16,170
(LAUGHS)
1631
01:12:21,340 --> 01:12:23,590
Arthur, you do know
that you don't have to audition.
1632
01:12:23,670 --> 01:12:25,470
-Oh, I want to.
-But you're in.
1633
01:12:25,550 --> 01:12:27,470
Well, they'll think I'm a dick if I don't.
1634
01:12:27,550 --> 01:12:28,800
-Fair enough.
-Fair enough.
1635
01:12:28,890 --> 01:12:33,270
(SINGING) There was
a young lady called Florrie
1636
01:12:33,350 --> 01:12:38,150
Who laid on her back in a quarry
1637
01:12:38,230 --> 01:12:43,740
"I'm ready," she cried
With her legs open wide
1638
01:12:43,820 --> 01:12:50,240
(SINGING LIKE ELVIS PRESLEY)
I'll have a blue Christmas
1639
01:12:50,330 --> 01:12:51,450
Without you
1640
01:12:51,530 --> 01:12:54,830
(SINGING) Melody
Melody
1641
01:12:54,910 --> 01:12:58,210
(SINGING) God rest you merry Gentlemen
1642
01:12:58,290 --> 01:12:59,580
(PLAYING SOFT MELODY)
1643
01:13:00,250 --> 01:13:02,090
I could drop quite easily. Oh.
1644
01:13:02,170 --> 01:13:04,090
This is my, er, floor show.
1645
01:13:04,170 --> 01:13:07,840
(SINGING) Land of hope and glory
1646
01:13:07,930 --> 01:13:09,140
(LAUGHTER)
1647
01:13:09,890 --> 01:13:11,600
(ALL PLAYING INSTRUMENTS)
1648
01:13:18,100 --> 01:13:19,100
(MIMICS ELVIS PRESLEY)
Thank you very much.
1649
01:13:19,480 --> 01:13:20,980
(ALL CHEERING)
1650
01:13:24,730 --> 01:13:25,860
So how's your Tom?
1651
01:13:25,940 --> 01:13:27,820
Oh, well, I just wish I knew.
1652
01:13:27,900 --> 01:13:29,110
I haven't heard from him in days.
1653
01:13:29,200 --> 01:13:30,620
He's disappeared again.
1654
01:13:30,700 --> 01:13:32,370
It's a bit annoying, if I'm honest.
1655
01:13:32,450 --> 01:13:34,910
He seems to be disappearing a lot.
Is he a magician?
1656
01:13:35,540 --> 01:13:36,870
Well, you never know.
1657
01:13:36,960 --> 01:13:39,330
Probably just scared
of what he feels about you.
1658
01:13:40,040 --> 01:13:41,380
You know, blokes, and that.
1659
01:13:41,840 --> 01:13:42,840
Yeah.
1660
01:13:44,210 --> 01:13:45,920
-Well...
-Bon appétit.
1661
01:13:46,510 --> 01:13:47,630
Boom. Thank you.
1662
01:13:48,300 --> 01:13:49,930
-See you soon, Kate.
-KATE: Bye.
1663
01:14:05,730 --> 01:14:06,730
-Hi.
-Hey.
1664
01:14:35,350 --> 01:14:36,600
(KATE CLEARS THROAT)
1665
01:14:39,520 --> 01:14:40,520
Hi.
1666
01:14:43,060 --> 01:14:44,190
Hi.
1667
01:14:45,270 --> 01:14:46,400
How've you been?
1668
01:14:47,980 --> 01:14:49,400
Missing you.
1669
01:15:10,010 --> 01:15:11,010
KATE: Mmm.
1670
01:15:13,090 --> 01:15:14,260
Mmm.
1671
01:15:15,470 --> 01:15:16,550
Missing and kissing.
1672
01:15:16,640 --> 01:15:19,270
It's almost like
we're having a relationship.
1673
01:15:25,190 --> 01:15:27,190
Kate, there's something
I've got to tell you.
1674
01:15:28,900 --> 01:15:30,940
(SIGHING) Oh, God.
1675
01:15:31,030 --> 01:15:33,200
The "there's something
I've got to tell you" moment.
1676
01:15:33,820 --> 01:15:36,120
Okay, let's go through the list. Erm...
1677
01:15:39,410 --> 01:15:41,200
You're gay?
1678
01:15:42,080 --> 01:15:43,410
-No, it's...
-Married?
1679
01:15:44,420 --> 01:15:46,790
-No, there's...
-You need space?
1680
01:15:48,170 --> 01:15:49,340
You can't depend on me.
1681
01:15:49,420 --> 01:15:51,630
I don't depend on you.
1682
01:15:51,710 --> 01:15:52,720
Kate.
1683
01:15:52,800 --> 01:15:55,090
Who said anything about
depending on anyone?
1684
01:15:55,180 --> 01:15:56,550
Listen, you said it yourself.
1685
01:15:56,640 --> 01:15:57,890
I mean, you've been having a tough time
1686
01:15:57,970 --> 01:15:59,720
after all the trauma and...
1687
01:15:59,810 --> 01:16:01,720
-Look, I'm just worried...
-Oh, so now it's my issue?
1688
01:16:01,810 --> 01:16:04,020
-No, you...
-Look, if this is about commitment,
1689
01:16:04,100 --> 01:16:06,940
then you just need to say it, because I...
1690
01:16:07,020 --> 01:16:09,730
I can't do this anymore.
1691
01:16:10,110 --> 01:16:11,360
I look for you.
1692
01:16:11,780 --> 01:16:13,950
I look for you everywhere,
and you're never there.
1693
01:16:14,780 --> 01:16:16,990
And it makes me feel
really bad about myself.
1694
01:16:18,450 --> 01:16:20,410
And I'm finally getting better
1695
01:16:21,040 --> 01:16:23,000
and not feeling bad about myself.
1696
01:16:24,540 --> 01:16:26,370
I'm not gonna heal my heart
1697
01:16:27,130 --> 01:16:30,630
and then give it to someone
who is going to break it.
1698
01:16:34,340 --> 01:16:35,470
I won't.
1699
01:16:35,550 --> 01:16:36,760
No, Kate.
1700
01:16:48,810 --> 01:16:50,020
(SIGHS)
1701
01:17:01,450 --> 01:17:04,700
(CONVERSING IN CROATIAN)
1702
01:17:07,920 --> 01:17:09,750
Why don't you lot go back
to where you came from?
1703
01:17:10,420 --> 01:17:11,420
Yeah, you.
1704
01:17:11,960 --> 01:17:14,760
Speak English or get out
of my sodding country.
1705
01:17:15,840 --> 01:17:17,220
All of you!
1706
01:17:21,220 --> 01:17:22,720
(BOTH MUTTERING)
1707
01:17:27,890 --> 01:17:28,980
(SPEAKING CROATIAN)
1708
01:17:45,660 --> 01:17:46,660
(KATE CHUCKLES)
1709
01:18:00,680 --> 01:18:01,850
(RINGS BELL)
1710
01:18:02,600 --> 01:18:03,600
(DOOR UNLOCKS)
1711
01:18:04,350 --> 01:18:05,470
-Hello.
-Hi.
1712
01:18:06,140 --> 01:18:08,350
Alba? I'm Kate.
1713
01:18:08,810 --> 01:18:10,100
-Kate?
-Katarina.
1714
01:18:11,940 --> 01:18:14,570
Yep. Just wondering if Marta was in.
1715
01:18:14,650 --> 01:18:16,280
She doesn't wanna talk to you.
1716
01:18:16,990 --> 01:18:18,700
Yeah. Okay.
1717
01:18:19,240 --> 01:18:20,740
I understand. Er...
1718
01:18:21,700 --> 01:18:23,830
Could you just tell her
that I'm very sorry?
1719
01:18:25,330 --> 01:18:27,410
That I will probably
never stop being sorry.
1720
01:18:28,410 --> 01:18:29,910
That I'm glad that she has you.
1721
01:18:31,540 --> 01:18:33,500
(STAMMERS) And I'm sorry
1722
01:18:33,590 --> 01:18:35,840
that you and I never got
the chance to know each other.
1723
01:18:37,670 --> 01:18:39,340
-Wait.
-MARTA: For God's sake.
1724
01:18:40,260 --> 01:18:41,260
(SIGHS)
1725
01:18:41,340 --> 01:18:42,800
Hi. Look, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about everything.
1726
01:18:42,890 --> 01:18:44,930
Please don't come here uninvited again.
1727
01:18:46,600 --> 01:18:48,310
I wish Mum and Dad knew you were happy.
1728
01:18:48,390 --> 01:18:50,230
It's none of their business.
1729
01:18:51,480 --> 01:18:53,350
All right? Saying sorry
doesn't change everything.
1730
01:18:53,440 --> 01:18:54,480
You do understand that?
1731
01:18:56,610 --> 01:18:57,610
Yeah.
1732
01:19:11,620 --> 01:19:13,210
(SIGHS) Oh, God. Hey.
1733
01:19:14,670 --> 01:19:15,670
Look,
1734
01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:19,010
we weren't so lucky, you and I.
1735
01:19:19,590 --> 01:19:21,470
Mum is a piece of work.
1736
01:19:21,550 --> 01:19:22,550
You're right about that.
1737
01:19:23,930 --> 01:19:26,390
But I guess maybe
we're all a bit damaged in this family.
1738
01:19:27,640 --> 01:19:30,180
And I do appreciate you stopping by.
1739
01:19:32,310 --> 01:19:34,150
(SOFT '80s POP SONG PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)
1740
01:19:37,770 --> 01:19:38,780
One second.
1741
01:19:42,030 --> 01:19:43,030
Hey.
1742
01:19:44,200 --> 01:19:45,200
Hi.
1743
01:19:45,280 --> 01:19:46,910
Erm, I was just...
1744
01:19:46,990 --> 01:19:48,580
I was just wondering
if I could buy you a drink?
1745
01:19:48,660 --> 01:19:50,040
You look like you need another.
1746
01:19:54,540 --> 01:19:55,540
Actually, I don't.
1747
01:20:00,380 --> 01:20:01,630
I really don't.
1748
01:20:03,300 --> 01:20:04,300
Thank you, though.
1749
01:20:09,010 --> 01:20:10,970
(SOFT '80s POP SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1750
01:20:26,570 --> 01:20:27,570
Thanks.
1751
01:20:28,410 --> 01:20:31,580
That is really nice. Hmm.
1752
01:20:32,410 --> 01:20:33,620
Mmm.
1753
01:20:34,460 --> 01:20:35,790
Was that physical intimacy?
1754
01:20:37,670 --> 01:20:38,750
That was minimal.
1755
01:20:40,250 --> 01:20:41,420
How's Boy?
1756
01:20:42,090 --> 01:20:44,220
Interesting and weird.
1757
01:20:45,010 --> 01:20:47,180
I've never eaten
so much fermented cabbage.
1758
01:20:47,260 --> 01:20:48,300
(MIMICS GAGGING)
1759
01:20:48,390 --> 01:20:50,890
(COYLY) Have you had sex yet?
1760
01:20:52,970 --> 01:20:54,730
-No.
-Mmm. All right.
1761
01:20:54,810 --> 01:20:57,230
And have you had sex with, er, Tom yet?
1762
01:20:57,310 --> 01:20:59,150
-No.
-Ah. So?
1763
01:20:59,230 --> 01:21:00,480
No, it's never gonna happen.
1764
01:21:01,020 --> 01:21:02,030
Why?
1765
01:21:02,530 --> 01:21:03,530
(SIGHS)
1766
01:21:03,610 --> 01:21:04,940
He just won't commit
1767
01:21:05,030 --> 01:21:06,610
because he thinks
I depend on him too much.
1768
01:21:06,700 --> 01:21:07,910
And he basically said
1769
01:21:07,990 --> 01:21:11,030
that I had made a career
out of being a victim.
1770
01:21:11,870 --> 01:21:14,450
Mmm. I like this man.
1771
01:21:16,500 --> 01:21:19,750
(ON TV) Let me see.
"A very messy Christmas."
1772
01:21:22,210 --> 01:21:23,300
KATE: Hi, Mum.
1773
01:21:24,960 --> 01:21:25,970
(ADDRESSES IN SERBO-CROATIAN)
1774
01:21:26,800 --> 01:21:27,800
Ah.
1775
01:21:27,970 --> 01:21:29,970
(BOTH ADDRESSING EACH OTHER
IN SERBO-CROATIAN)
1776
01:21:33,220 --> 01:21:34,600
(BOTH MOAN)
1777
01:21:36,940 --> 01:21:38,480
(IN ENGLISH) They're not
gonna send you back.
1778
01:21:39,810 --> 01:21:41,020
You live here.
1779
01:21:41,440 --> 01:21:42,440
This is your home.
1780
01:21:42,980 --> 01:21:44,690
I know how it start.
1781
01:21:45,860 --> 01:21:47,200
They point a finger.
1782
01:21:48,320 --> 01:21:50,370
They say, "Those people,
1783
01:21:50,450 --> 01:21:52,700
"they are reason your life is bad."
1784
01:21:53,370 --> 01:21:54,540
And people believe.
1785
01:21:55,450 --> 01:21:56,910
-They believe.
-I know.
1786
01:21:57,870 --> 01:21:58,870
I know.
1787
01:21:59,750 --> 01:22:00,830
(SNIFFLES)
1788
01:22:02,590 --> 01:22:03,670
(SIGHS)
1789
01:22:05,550 --> 01:22:07,050
I blame the Poles.
1790
01:22:08,880 --> 01:22:09,880
Okay.
1791
01:22:13,850 --> 01:22:14,850
Okay.
1792
01:22:15,390 --> 01:22:16,980
(CLEARS THROAT) Cup of tea?
1793
01:22:18,180 --> 01:22:19,690
Hmm? Nice cup of tea.
1794
01:22:19,770 --> 01:22:21,150
Nice cup of tea. Okay.
1795
01:22:21,230 --> 01:22:22,810
(UPBEAT '90s POP SONG PLAYING)
1796
01:22:24,610 --> 01:22:25,940
(INAUDIBLE)
1797
01:22:42,960 --> 01:22:45,460
-Just a little, tiny...
-Tiny, tiny.
1798
01:22:48,630 --> 01:22:49,630
Cheers.
1799
01:22:52,550 --> 01:22:53,760
(LAUGHING)
1800
01:22:53,850 --> 01:22:55,510
(COUGHING)
1801
01:22:55,600 --> 01:22:58,390
(SING-SONGY) Bravo, Mama.
1802
01:22:58,470 --> 01:22:59,980
(BREATHES SHARPLY)
1803
01:23:00,060 --> 01:23:01,810
(UPBEAT '90s POP SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1804
01:23:21,040 --> 01:23:22,080
KATE: Yeah?
1805
01:23:22,170 --> 01:23:23,170
MAN: It'll do.
1806
01:23:23,370 --> 01:23:24,830
(CHUCKLES)
1807
01:23:24,920 --> 01:23:26,170
Sorry, mate.
1808
01:23:29,800 --> 01:23:30,800
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1809
01:23:34,390 --> 01:23:35,390
(GASPS)
1810
01:23:37,310 --> 01:23:39,220
Tell Rufus this one's
much harder to torch.
1811
01:23:40,430 --> 01:23:42,100
I nearly popped the baby out then.
1812
01:23:42,190 --> 01:23:43,690
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1813
01:23:43,770 --> 01:23:45,230
(UPBEAT '90s POP SONG CONTINUES)
1814
01:24:10,050 --> 01:24:11,300
(DOORBELL BUZZES)
1815
01:24:13,840 --> 01:24:15,050
(DOOR OPENS)
1816
01:24:21,060 --> 01:24:22,520
(MUFFLED TALKING)
1817
01:24:22,600 --> 01:24:23,600
Tom?
1818
01:24:24,350 --> 01:24:26,310
MAN: No, that one is down 30 thou.
1819
01:24:26,400 --> 01:24:27,560
-Yeah, it's a real turd...
-KATE: Tom?
1820
01:24:27,650 --> 01:24:28,650
...of a flat.
1821
01:24:29,270 --> 01:24:30,780
Someone's here. Look, okay, bye.
1822
01:24:31,360 --> 01:24:34,200
Sorry. It's been a mad day.
I'm Andy. (CHUCKLES)
1823
01:24:34,280 --> 01:24:36,610
-Sorry I'm so casual.
-Oh, that's okay.
1824
01:24:36,700 --> 01:24:38,910
Are you Mrs. Challis?
1825
01:24:38,990 --> 01:24:40,290
No, no. Sorry.
1826
01:24:40,370 --> 01:24:41,620
No, I didn't think you were.
1827
01:24:41,700 --> 01:24:43,040
-No.
-(BOTH CHUCKLING)
1828
01:24:43,120 --> 01:24:44,370
Are you waiting for Tom?
1829
01:24:44,460 --> 01:24:45,750
Er, I don't think so,
unless he's with you.
1830
01:24:45,830 --> 01:24:47,540
No, no. I just came to find him.
1831
01:24:47,630 --> 01:24:49,340
-Oh. He'll probably turn up.
-Right.
1832
01:24:49,420 --> 01:24:50,710
So, shall we get started, then?
1833
01:24:50,800 --> 01:24:51,800
Ooh. Started on what?
1834
01:24:51,880 --> 01:24:53,720
Just taking a little look. Huh?
1835
01:24:57,340 --> 01:24:59,510
Right, well, I've looked. And there it is.
1836
01:24:59,600 --> 01:25:01,470
Small but compact. It's neat.
1837
01:25:01,560 --> 01:25:02,850
And that's one of its selling points.
1838
01:25:02,930 --> 01:25:04,730
-It's for sale?
-Oh, yeah, yeah.
1839
01:25:04,810 --> 01:25:05,850
Freehold this one, not for rental.
1840
01:25:06,270 --> 01:25:08,100
That's why he keeps it so tidy.
1841
01:25:08,190 --> 01:25:10,650
Oh, yeah.
There's no room for clutter here.
1842
01:25:10,730 --> 01:25:13,650
But there is plenty of storage space. Huh.
1843
01:25:13,740 --> 01:25:15,110
Et voilà.
1844
01:25:15,200 --> 01:25:16,740
Huh. What have we got here?
1845
01:25:17,660 --> 01:25:19,160
(LAUGHING) Oh, my God.
1846
01:25:19,240 --> 01:25:20,740
(CHUCKLES LIGHTLY)
1847
01:25:22,080 --> 01:25:25,040
Literally in the cupboard.
No wonder it died.
1848
01:25:25,120 --> 01:25:26,500
I'll give it to him. Don't worry.
1849
01:25:26,580 --> 01:25:28,080
-Give it to who?
-Tom.
1850
01:25:28,170 --> 01:25:29,170
Who's that, then?
1851
01:25:29,630 --> 01:25:32,130
Tom, who lives here
but is selling the flat.
1852
01:25:32,210 --> 01:25:34,460
No. No one lives here.
It's been empty for months.
1853
01:25:35,300 --> 01:25:36,510
Maybe he was squatting.
1854
01:25:37,340 --> 01:25:38,340
What...
1855
01:25:38,430 --> 01:25:41,220
Was there a squatter here?
Oh, bloody hell.
1856
01:25:41,300 --> 01:25:44,270
Excuse my language. It's typical, that is.
1857
01:25:44,350 --> 01:25:45,430
It's all that probate stuff
1858
01:25:45,520 --> 01:25:46,890
that stops us
from getting on with our jobs.
1859
01:25:46,980 --> 01:25:47,980
"Probate"?
1860
01:25:48,060 --> 01:25:49,060
Yeah, you know, when someone dies.
1861
01:25:49,150 --> 01:25:50,230
It's a pain in the fundament.
1862
01:25:50,310 --> 01:25:51,560
Who's died?
1863
01:25:51,650 --> 01:25:53,110
Oh, previous owner.
1864
01:25:54,070 --> 01:25:55,110
Who?
1865
01:25:55,190 --> 01:25:56,860
Er, someone Webster, I think.
1866
01:25:56,950 --> 01:25:58,570
Youngish bloke.
1867
01:25:58,700 --> 01:26:00,660
Sad, really. It was last
Christmas by all accounts.
1868
01:26:01,490 --> 01:26:03,080
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
1869
01:26:04,290 --> 01:26:05,290
(TIRES SKID)
1870
01:26:09,080 --> 01:26:10,460
(SIREN WAILING)
1871
01:26:35,780 --> 01:26:37,610
ANDY: Madam. Hello.
1872
01:26:39,200 --> 01:26:40,610
Madam,
1873
01:26:40,700 --> 01:26:41,820
are you all right?
1874
01:26:42,570 --> 01:26:43,580
Yeah.
1875
01:26:44,200 --> 01:26:46,290
You just sort of... Folded up.
1876
01:26:46,370 --> 01:26:47,620
Are you really all right?
1877
01:26:47,700 --> 01:26:48,710
Yeah.
1878
01:26:49,790 --> 01:26:50,790
Yeah.
1879
01:26:51,960 --> 01:26:53,960
(SOFT '90s POP SONG PLAYING)
1880
01:27:19,690 --> 01:27:20,740
Hi.
1881
01:27:22,950 --> 01:27:24,740
(SOFT '90s POP SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
1882
01:27:46,760 --> 01:27:47,760
Oi!
1883
01:28:22,800 --> 01:28:24,220
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
1884
01:28:44,860 --> 01:28:46,360
(GASPING)
1885
01:28:59,250 --> 01:29:01,380
Why can I feel you?
1886
01:29:04,340 --> 01:29:06,180
Because I'm a part of you.
1887
01:29:07,390 --> 01:29:08,390
Mmm.
1888
01:29:09,140 --> 01:29:11,470
-Take care of my heart.
-(SNIFFLES)
1889
01:29:12,310 --> 01:29:13,470
Yeah, I promise.
1890
01:29:14,930 --> 01:29:16,060
It was always going to be yours
1891
01:29:16,140 --> 01:29:17,230
one way or another.
1892
01:29:17,310 --> 01:29:18,730
(CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES)
1893
01:29:25,610 --> 01:29:27,110
(CRYING SOFTLY)
1894
01:29:27,200 --> 01:29:28,450
(SIGHS)
1895
01:29:35,160 --> 01:29:36,330
(SNIFFLES)
1896
01:29:52,810 --> 01:29:53,970
(SHUDDERS)
1897
01:29:55,850 --> 01:29:57,060
(EXHALES)
1898
01:30:46,110 --> 01:30:47,440
-(BELL JINGLING)
-DORA: Come in here!
1899
01:30:47,530 --> 01:30:49,070
Roll up!
1900
01:30:49,150 --> 01:30:52,120
Roll up, you shower of gobblers.
1901
01:30:52,200 --> 01:30:54,330
You, you load of tossers, in.
1902
01:30:54,410 --> 01:30:55,740
-And you're a tosser, too.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1903
01:30:55,830 --> 01:30:57,250
Dora, Dora, Dora. I'm loving the work.
1904
01:30:57,330 --> 01:30:58,960
I'm loving the work.
Wrong vibe, though, yeah?
1905
01:30:59,040 --> 01:31:00,330
You can't call the audience names.
1906
01:31:00,420 --> 01:31:02,080
-And you're a wanker.
-(CHUCKLES)
1907
01:31:02,170 --> 01:31:03,210
Don't I know it, Dora.
1908
01:31:03,750 --> 01:31:04,960
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1909
01:31:15,970 --> 01:31:16,970
Whoa.
1910
01:31:20,640 --> 01:31:22,060
(TOY HORN SQUEAKING)
1911
01:31:26,940 --> 01:31:28,860
(AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
1912
01:31:33,320 --> 01:31:34,530
Hi.
1913
01:31:34,620 --> 01:31:36,830
Hello, hello, hello.
1914
01:31:36,910 --> 01:31:39,620
Erm, right, well, so I knew
the lighting would be crap,
1915
01:31:39,700 --> 01:31:40,710
so I brought my own.
1916
01:31:41,790 --> 01:31:43,000
(AUDIENCE CHEERS)
1917
01:31:45,040 --> 01:31:46,540
That's my girl.
1918
01:31:46,630 --> 01:31:48,050
KATE: Yes, yes, yes. Thank you.
1919
01:31:48,130 --> 01:31:50,170
All right. We've got lots to get through.
1920
01:31:50,260 --> 01:31:51,670
I just wanna say a massive thank you
1921
01:31:51,760 --> 01:31:53,890
to everyone who's put
so much hard work in.
1922
01:31:53,970 --> 01:31:57,310
Mum, for making the most
ginormous krempita.
1923
01:31:57,390 --> 01:31:59,310
-I think you're all enjoying.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
1924
01:32:02,520 --> 01:32:04,270
My mother, ladies and gentlemen.
1925
01:32:04,350 --> 01:32:05,730
Thank you. Thank you.
1926
01:32:05,810 --> 01:32:07,520
You are famous with your krempita.
1927
01:32:07,940 --> 01:32:09,820
Now, I'd like to thank
everyone individually.
1928
01:32:09,900 --> 01:32:11,690
But Dan said no speeches were allowed.
1929
01:32:11,780 --> 01:32:14,030
-Yeah. Now get off, elf.
-(LAUGHTER)
1930
01:32:14,110 --> 01:32:16,280
Yes. Thank you, Daniel. Seconds away.
1931
01:32:16,370 --> 01:32:17,700
I just, erm...
1932
01:32:18,490 --> 01:32:20,290
I just wanna say this one thing.
1933
01:32:20,830 --> 01:32:24,870
We are so lucky to be alive.
1934
01:32:25,250 --> 01:32:26,250
Hear, hear.
1935
01:32:27,960 --> 01:32:32,170
We are so lucky
to be able to help each other
1936
01:32:32,260 --> 01:32:36,220
in little ways and in big ways.
1937
01:32:36,300 --> 01:32:38,390
The reason we are lucky
1938
01:32:38,470 --> 01:32:41,640
is because helping each other
1939
01:32:41,720 --> 01:32:45,400
is, in fact, what makes us happy.
1940
01:32:45,480 --> 01:32:46,520
(APPLAUSE)
1941
01:32:46,600 --> 01:32:48,570
-That's all.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
1942
01:32:48,650 --> 01:32:51,070
Give us a song, Kate!
1943
01:32:51,150 --> 01:32:52,490
A... A song?
1944
01:32:52,900 --> 01:32:54,280
(CHUCKLES)
1945
01:32:54,360 --> 01:32:56,110
Well, I think I've got one up my sleeve.
1946
01:33:00,330 --> 01:33:04,620
(SINGING) Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
1947
01:33:05,210 --> 01:33:09,420
But the very next day you gave it away
1948
01:33:10,420 --> 01:33:15,090
This year to save me from tears
1949
01:33:16,130 --> 01:33:19,510
I'll give it to someone special
1950
01:33:19,600 --> 01:33:21,680
-(MUSIC BEGINS)
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
1951
01:33:34,400 --> 01:33:37,410
Last Christmas I gave you my heart
1952
01:33:37,490 --> 01:33:40,580
But the very next day you gave it away
1953
01:33:41,490 --> 01:33:44,660
This year to save me from tears
1954
01:33:44,750 --> 01:33:47,040
I'll give it to someone special
1955
01:33:49,080 --> 01:33:51,880
Once bitten and twice shy
1956
01:33:52,380 --> 01:33:56,010
I keep my distance
but you still catch my eye
1957
01:33:56,090 --> 01:33:57,380
Tell me, baby
1958
01:33:57,470 --> 01:33:58,760
-Do you recognize me?
-Do you recognize me?
1959
01:33:58,840 --> 01:34:00,050
-No.
-No?
1960
01:34:00,140 --> 01:34:02,600
Well, it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
1961
01:34:02,680 --> 01:34:04,350
ALL: Merry Christmas!
1962
01:34:04,430 --> 01:34:06,310
KATE: I wrapped it up and sent it
1963
01:34:06,390 --> 01:34:08,600
With a note saying "I love you"
1964
01:34:08,690 --> 01:34:09,770
I meant it
1965
01:34:09,850 --> 01:34:12,820
Now I know what a fool I've been
1966
01:34:12,900 --> 01:34:15,990
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd fool me again
1967
01:34:17,030 --> 01:34:20,070
ALL: Last Christmas I gave you my heart
1968
01:34:20,160 --> 01:34:24,040
But the very next day you gave it away
1969
01:34:24,120 --> 01:34:27,370
This year to save me from tears
1970
01:34:27,460 --> 01:34:29,790
I'll give it to someone special
1971
01:34:31,500 --> 01:34:34,210
Last Christmas I gave you my heart
1972
01:34:34,300 --> 01:34:38,260
But the very next day you gave it away
1973
01:34:38,340 --> 01:34:41,760
This year to save me from tears
1974
01:34:41,850 --> 01:34:44,640
I'll give it to someone special
1975
01:34:45,100 --> 01:34:46,310
(MAN WHOOPS)
1976
01:34:46,390 --> 01:34:47,810
(ALL CHEERING)
1977
01:34:55,900 --> 01:34:57,070
(MOUTHING) Look up.
1978
01:35:03,700 --> 01:35:05,910
-(SONG ENDS)
-(ALL CHEERING)
1979
01:35:11,620 --> 01:35:12,710
(KATE LAUGHS)
1980
01:35:13,630 --> 01:35:15,500
KATE: And now, on with the show!
1981
01:35:24,390 --> 01:35:26,180
(CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)
1982
01:35:30,020 --> 01:35:31,770
-Christmas tiramisu.
-(ALL CHEER)
1983
01:35:31,850 --> 01:35:33,940
IVAN: Oh, lovely.
PETRA: Oh, Alba.
1984
01:35:34,020 --> 01:35:35,820
-Yes.
-That looks amazing.
1985
01:35:35,900 --> 01:35:37,280
-Alba.
-IVAN: Thank you, Alba.
1986
01:35:37,360 --> 01:35:41,320
Marta is so... She's so lucky to have you.
1987
01:35:41,400 --> 01:35:42,950
Because... Because she,
1988
01:35:44,120 --> 01:35:47,240
she is very, very bad cook.
1989
01:35:47,330 --> 01:35:48,330
-Very bad.
-See, Mum,
1990
01:35:48,410 --> 01:35:51,250
that isn't a compliment,
you know, that's just rude.
1991
01:35:51,330 --> 01:35:53,170
What is rude? Why? Why is rude?
1992
01:35:53,250 --> 01:35:56,420
I am being nice to Alba, your girlfriend.
1993
01:35:57,130 --> 01:35:59,010
What I say? Nothing.
1994
01:35:59,090 --> 01:36:00,090
-Katarina.
-Yes.
1995
01:36:00,170 --> 01:36:01,880
Before we eat lesbian pudding...
1996
01:36:01,970 --> 01:36:02,970
Yeah.
1997
01:36:03,050 --> 01:36:04,340
-Mum!
-PETRA: What?
1998
01:36:04,430 --> 01:36:05,430
You have your song,
1999
01:36:05,510 --> 01:36:06,890
-your big song in party.
-Yes.
2000
01:36:06,970 --> 01:36:09,140
I know I not so important to do that.
2001
01:36:09,220 --> 01:36:10,680
-KATE: Oh, Mum.
-No, Mum.
2002
01:36:10,770 --> 01:36:12,770
-Hey, you are. Yes, you are.
-I not. Psst.
2003
01:36:12,850 --> 01:36:14,190
Tell her she is. Yeah.
2004
01:36:14,270 --> 01:36:17,650
But now I sing a old song from Croatia,
2005
01:36:17,730 --> 01:36:20,690
from my grandmother, for my family.
2006
01:36:20,780 --> 01:36:21,860
Huh.
2007
01:36:24,990 --> 01:36:26,740
(SINGING FOLK SONG IN CROATIAN)
2008
01:36:29,450 --> 01:36:30,830
(SNICKERS)
2009
01:36:36,130 --> 01:36:38,000
-(MIMICS PETRA'S SINGING)
-(LAUGHTER)
2010
01:36:38,090 --> 01:36:41,670
(LAUGHING) Come on, Petra.
The war is over long time ago.
2011
01:36:41,760 --> 01:36:43,680
Stop killing us with the song.
2012
01:36:44,470 --> 01:36:46,050
Sing it cheerfully, for God's sake.
2013
01:36:46,140 --> 01:36:48,430
-What it's mean "cheerfully"?
-(SPEAKS CROATIAN)
2014
01:36:48,510 --> 01:36:49,510
(IN ENGLISH) It's Christmas.
2015
01:36:49,600 --> 01:36:50,850
-(GROANS)
-(IVAN LAUGHS)
2016
01:36:50,930 --> 01:36:52,980
(SINGING FOLK SONG IN CHEERFUL TUNE)
2017
01:36:53,060 --> 01:36:54,520
(GIRLS CHEERING)
2018
01:36:55,140 --> 01:36:56,480
(LAUGHTER)
2019
01:36:57,520 --> 01:36:58,940
(ALL SINGING)
2020
01:37:00,940 --> 01:37:01,940
(IN ENGLISH) Come on!
2021
01:37:02,030 --> 01:37:03,860
(ALL CONTINUE SINGING)
2022
01:37:08,990 --> 01:37:10,740
(POP SONG PLAYING)