1
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,482
If someone had asked me
not long ago...

2
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:52,286
why I thought it was that men
left women and never came back,

3
00:00:52,353 --> 00:00:54,955
I would have said this:

4
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:56,724
"New cow."

5
00:00:57,825 --> 00:01:01,329
The new cow theory
was born of a broken heart.

6
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:04,298
It came to me while reading
an article on male behavior...

7
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:06,467
in the New York Times
science section,

8
00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:09,537
which chronicled a particularly
fascinating study...

9
00:01:09,603 --> 00:01:13,307
on the mating preferences
of the male cow.

10
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:18,446
First, a bull
was presented with...

11
00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:21,048
a cow.

12
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:23,151
They mated.

13
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:30,958
The next day, the bull was
presented with the same cow.

14
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:34,995
The bull wasn't interested.

15
00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:37,765
He wanted new cow,

16
00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:40,201
and this was old cow.

17
00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:46,807
Curious to see if
they could trick the bull,

18
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:50,077
the scientists came up
with an ingenious ploy.

19
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:55,583
Do not disappoint Daddy. The old cow
was smeared with new cow scent...

20
00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:59,119
- Doesn't that feel good?
- But he was no fool.

21
00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,589
This wasn't new cow.

22
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:04,392
This was just old cow incognito.

23
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:07,928
Old cow in sheep's clothing.

24
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:11,064
Mutton dressed as lamb.

25
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,273
But I'm getting ahead of myself.

26
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:23,344
To really understand the theory and
how it took over my entire existence,

27
00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:25,746
you need to hear
the whole story.

28
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:29,283
When Ray came into my life,

29
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:32,253
I was booking talent
for the Diane Roberts Show,

30
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:36,424
a local New York talk show that had
just been syndicated nationally.

31
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,227
The network had given us
a small window of opportunity...

32
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,229
in which to make something
of ourselves.

33
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,364
We're back with Mary Lou Corkle,

34
00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:45,699
outspoken conservative activist,

35
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:49,637
who's here to talk about her
new book The Nest Crisis.

36
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,440
One of your central arguments,
Mary Lou,

37
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:56,877
is to blame society's problems
on working mothers.

38
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:59,647
Diane was determined to strike
pay dirt with her audience...

39
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:03,116
by appealing to both their
understimulated intelligence...

40
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:07,054
and their overstimulated
appetite for tabloid television.

41
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,122
Ambition has blinded
these women...

42
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,792
to their responsibilities to their
families. And so, by your standards,

43
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:16,230
doing what I do makes me
unfit for motherhood.

44
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,766
Well, we make
our own beds, don't we?

45
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:22,636
That is true. Just out
of curiosity, Mary Lou,

46
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,738
who's been making
your kids' beds...

47
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,808
while you've been out selling your
book these past three months?

48
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:31,312
My job was to supply
a steady diet of raw meat...

49
00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:34,181
to satisfy Diane's
Emmy-clad ambitions.

50
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:36,284
Hi, Donald. Did you hear?
We've gone national.

51
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,286
Thanks.
Well, it's a new format.

52
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,321
We're just starting up
major exposure,

53
00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:42,390
and I think it's
right up Hillary's alley.

54
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:45,993
Oh, she'd be among the first. I'm lining up
great company. Trust me, everyone wants on.

55
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,762
My only colleague
in this quest...

56
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:52,466
was our writer, producer and
pathological womanizer Eddie Alden.

57
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,302
How are we doin'?

58
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:56,537
Publisher's having a coronary.

59
00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,272
That good, huh?
You book 'em, I cook 'em.

60
00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:01,108
Right on. Yeah.

61
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:04,545
Thank you very much. We are here
talking to Mary Lou Corkle.

62
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:07,247
Any progress with Cuba?

63
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:09,950
Well, just keep trying.
I swear to God.

64
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:12,686
This Castro thing is gonna kill me.
I mean, it is insane.

65
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:15,122
She will not let it go.
Forget Castro. Come on.

66
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:18,258
- I mean, what you want is a more creative angle.
- Such as?

67
00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:21,395
- Elena Villagolla.
- Who?

68
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:25,699
One of the women the C.I.A. hired to
try and kill him back in the sixties.

69
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:28,669
Excuse me. I believe this
is a smoke-free building.

70
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:34,207
Blow me. Apparently, the C.I.A. cooked up
this death oil that could pass as perfume.

71
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,378
The idea was she'd rub it on, Castro
would be kissin' her and lickin' her...

72
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:41,181
Don't editorialize. Sorry. He was
supposed to croak right after.

73
00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:45,619
Eddie could find the sex factor
in just about any subject.

74
00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:48,188
He, of course,
considered this a gift.

75
00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:52,292
Nina, you left these earrings in my
bathroom. You don't waste any time.

76
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,294
Cynic.
Slut.

77
00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:58,399
But if Eddie was enough to
make me lose hope in all men,

78
00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:00,701
it only took one
to bring it back again.

79
00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:02,670
Hey, Rick.
How you doin', Eddie?

80
00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,856
You are the only one I haven't met yet.
I'm Ray Brown.

81
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:10,878
This is our new executive producer.
Oh, from Washington.

82
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:14,782
I saw that piece you produced for Newsline.
That was brilliant.

83
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,284
Wow.
Thank you very much.

84
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,720
We just did a follow-up piece. That's
why I'm a little late getting up here.

85
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:22,055
Oh. Well, I better scoot.

86
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:25,362
Jane, you want me to get 'em to turn the
A.C. up? You're looking a little flushed.

87
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,662
Okay.

88
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:33,501
Jane Goodale. I know.
That's an interesting name.

89
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:36,704
People must confuse you
with the scientist. Yeah.

90
00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:39,607
They're always asking me if
I'm into chimps. Are you?

91
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,743
Not really. I mean, maybe
Curious George when I was five.

92
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:45,479
Ah. Curious George was
a monkey, not a chimp.

93
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:48,148
- A man who knows his primates.
- Yes, I do.

94
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:52,620
See you around. Oh, I heard Len Chaney's
people are giving you a hard time.

95
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,188
Yeah, they're afraid it's gonna turn
into an abortion debate and get ugly.

96
00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:57,725
Which is, uh, right.

97
00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,728
Of course. So guarantee
Diane won't bring it up,

98
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:03,564
and we'll plant somebody in the
audience to initiate it during Q&A.

99
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:06,734
I think you came to the
right show, Ray Brown.

100
00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:12,005
So he's cute.
Very.

101
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:14,141
Mm-hmm.
Care to elaborate?

102
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:18,979
Pale blue eyes, athletic, sort of, um, J.
Crew, but not as preppy.

103
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:22,716
- Oh, that guy again.
- Are you going to buy anything or not?

104
00:06:22,783 --> 00:06:25,553
- Sh-Shush! I'm concentrating!
- Okay.

105
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:28,388
Marital status?
Girlfriend.

106
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:30,558
Why are we having
this conversation?

107
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:32,626
You know what? You're right.
He's too much work.

108
00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:34,762
And even if I were up
to it, with my luck,

109
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,964
he'd probably end up
marrying her anyway.

110
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:40,901
Wow. There's the cynical bitch
I know and love.

111
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:44,204
So that's it. Case closed.
Leaving this one alone.

112
00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:46,874
You feeling carnivorous?

113
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,543
Absolutely.

114
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,848
So what else do I need
to know about you,

115
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,818
apart from your addiction
to processed foods,

116
00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:59,820
much to the chagrin
of your girlfriend?

117
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,857
"D."

118
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:07,294
Whom you've been dating now for...
Three years.

119
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,663
Three...

120
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:13,601
Excuse me. Three years.
Wow. That's, um...

121
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,904
Huh. More serious
than I...

122
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,072
would've guessed,
you know, off the cuff.

123
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:22,175
I guess it is.

124
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:26,213
You think you ever get to the moment
where you just know it's the right one?

125
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,217
That's it.

126
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,986
That's the person you're
meant to be with forever.

127
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:38,659
Probably.

128
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,995
God, he was cute.

129
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:46,567
It's me!
We're in here.

130
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:48,636
What's the problem?
Just jab it in.

131
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:51,104
Don't rush me.
What is going on?

132
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,641
Dr. Lipshick started your
sister on injections.

133
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:57,444
Of orange juice?
Fertility drugs, Jane.

134
00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:59,813
The orange is for practice.

135
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,584
For God's sake, Stephen, if you
can't stick it into a Valencia,

136
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:05,452
How are you gonna stick it in my ass?
I'm just a little nervous.

137
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:09,089
If this isn't done right, we
could lose another whole month.

138
00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:14,595
Oh!

139
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:18,498
That was supposed to be my job.

140
00:08:18,566 --> 00:08:20,534
I just wanted to show you
how easy it is.

141
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:22,703
You know, this is
a very emotional time for us,

142
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:25,873
and you're sucking the romance
out of the entire situation.

143
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:29,877
Oh, come on, sweetheart. I think we've
pretty much kissed romance good-bye...

144
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:32,546
when you started jacking off
into a cup once a week.

145
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:34,247
Leave my sperm count out of it!

146
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:39,620
Chubby Hubby?

147
00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:43,523
Come on, sweetie. I'll look at the
dirty magazines with you this time.

148
00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:45,759
I don't think you should...
Enough about it!

149
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,700
That's great. Just great.

150
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:55,402
Very nice, Nina.
Very grown up.

151
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:57,504
At least one of us is.

152
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,673
Good morning.

153
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:03,443
Don't bother, Eddie. I already
know you're an asshole.

154
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:06,379
Hey, you're always complaining
your apartment's too small.

155
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:08,515
Why don't you move in with me?

156
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:11,018
You cannot be serious.
Why not?

157
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,120
Come on. All I'm meeting
are hip, successful types.

158
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,255
I'd much rather have someone like you.
Gee, thanks.

159
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:18,291
No, hey. This would be a
strictly financial arrangement.

160
00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:20,894
I've got no interest in you
that way whatsoever.

161
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:23,330
What a relief. Come on.
Is that a no?

162
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:27,034
Actually, it's a "Thanks, but
not if my life depended on it."

163
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:51,558
- Hello.
- You up for a walk?

164
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:18,085
What?
What?

165
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:21,354
I was just gonna...

166
00:10:22,890 --> 00:10:25,859
I can't speak.
You say something.

167
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:30,063
No, no, no, don't.
Do you think I'm insane?

168
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:34,201
Not at all.

169
00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:41,641
I was just thinking how good my
apartment looks with you in it.

170
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,575
Let's start again. You
were eating Cocoa Puffs.

171
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:17,410
Right.
Then a couple cartoons.

172
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:20,613
A Tweety Bird and a Road Runner, I think.
Then some more kissing.

173
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,750
Right.
Okay, go on.

174
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:26,153
We had to get ready for work, so I
walk into the door, and he gave me a...

175
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,188
Morning, Jane. Morning, Les.
How are ya?

176
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:32,059
- Big finale-type kiss before leaving?
- Exactly.

177
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:35,128
That's good, good, good.
Very good, considering.

178
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:38,766
- Considering what?
- Considering he's already picked out his wife!

179
00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:42,602
I told you, Liz,
they're having problems.

180
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:45,705
They're not engaged.
Yet!

181
00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:49,509
Nevertheless, he does sound like an
interesting prospect, so here's what you do.

182
00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:54,081
Pretend she doesn't exist.
Never mention her name.

183
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,983
If he mentions her, you just nod
politely, change the subject.

184
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,018
Why? Because if
you bring her up,

185
00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,020
he's gonna feel
pushed and resentful.

186
00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:02,022
This way, it's like,
"I'm healthy, I'm happy.

187
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:03,757
No pressure.
Getting sex other places."

188
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:07,027
It's gonna drive him nuts. Lizzy,
where do you get this stuff?

189
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:10,430
Snagmen. com.
It's very informative.

190
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,732
Odd. Read the papers, Jane.

191
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,468
23-year-old women
are lying about their age,

192
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:19,072
so excuse me, Miss "I have a crush,
so I'm currently in denial."

193
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:21,208
You gotta get on your game.

194
00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:24,211
You know what I really need to know?
What do I do right now...

195
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:26,880
when I see him in my staff
meeting in five minutes?

196
00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:30,050
That's easy.
Pretend he doesn't exist.

197
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:34,454
Well, good morning, Eddie.

198
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,763
What is on your neck?
I bit myself shaving.

199
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:46,566
Isn't that why God
invented turtlenecks?

200
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:50,904
- No. That's why God invented Darlene.
- You are so gross.

201
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,473
Hey, Eddie. Hi, Jane. Hey, Ray.

202
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:56,476
Hey, Ray. Mornin'.

203
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,415
You okay?
You look a little tired.

204
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,184
Morning, Diane.

205
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:07,087
Straw. Mmm.

206
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,823
Okay. I'm late, I know.
I'm sorry. Morning.

207
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:13,961
I locked myself out of the apartment.
Keys, wallet, total nightmare.

208
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:15,762
The only reason
I'm standing here right now...

209
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:19,266
is because of Habib, the nicest cab
driver in the city of New York.

210
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:22,135
Okay, now, who saw
ABC's 4 a. m. newscast?

211
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,905
I think a lot of us
missed that, Diane.

212
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:29,009
There's a big story on how single media
outlets aren't cutting it anymore.

213
00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:30,777
Ray, where are we
on interactive?

214
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:34,347
The web site should be up and running
on Monday. No, not should be.

215
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:37,584
Will be!
We cannot sell this show...

216
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,853
on the pissant advertising
budget they've given us.

217
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,822
We need to be
streaming 24-7,

218
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:45,926
and we need to make
every show count.

219
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:50,130
- Remember, it is all about the get.
- - The get.

220
00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:53,033
We cannot make a splash
if we only get...

221
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:55,235
the gets that everybody's
already gotten.

222
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:58,538
- I need the ungettable get, got it?
- Got it.

223
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,573
Good.

224
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,842
Okay, where are we on Fidel?

225
00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:06,279
Uh, well, I spoke with Juanita,

226
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,181
his, um,
foreign press secretary,

227
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:10,617
who assured me
that the moment...

228
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:16,056
el presidente was back from
his fantasy baseball camp...

229
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:18,425
she would approach him about it.

230
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,193
And what did she say?
He might be interested?

231
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:21,628
Did she discuss
his availability?

232
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,664
Tell me, do you think
we have a shot here?

233
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:28,268
- Jane?
- Sorry.

234
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:31,638
I said what do you think your
chances are of getting this guy?

235
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:35,042
I think they're good, Diane.

236
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,677
I think they're very good.

237
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,147
Uh, j-just a minute.

238
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:35,468
Sorry.

239
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:39,106
I thought I'd just, um,
do a few sit-ups.

240
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:05,565
The emotion evoked by the prospect
of possessing what one desires.

241
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:11,038
The experience
of being carried away...

242
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,473
by an overwhelming
emotion or passion.

243
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:23,950
A state of being
beyond reason and self-control.

244
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,455
I cannot feel my legs.

245
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:31,424
Tell me again what we're doing here,
please. We're coming up for air.

246
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:34,727
Oh, right. Besides,
I owe you a shirt.

247
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,763
Hey, that's a good idea.

248
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,631
Blue?
Yeah.

249
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:41,101
This one's pretty.

250
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:43,336
You think?
With your eyes.

251
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:46,473
Could be risky, given your
impatience with buttons.

252
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:48,475
Well...

253
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:54,081
I love it. We'll take this one.
My treat.

254
00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:56,483
No, no, no. No, Jane. Shut up.

255
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:59,086
Let me buy you a shirt.
Thank you.

256
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:04,191
- Hey, guys.
- Eddie, hey!

257
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,559
Wow. We were...
I mean, I just, uh...

258
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:08,861
She's helping me pick out a shirt.
Yeah.

259
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,098
- Well, I didn't mean to intrude.
- Not at all. You're not.

260
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:13,366
Not at all. Please!
No.

261
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,437
Listen, I gotta go to a thing.

262
00:17:17,504 --> 00:17:20,240
I gotta hit this... Great
running into you. Okay.

263
00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:22,875
Both of you. My God! I can't
even... See you around.

264
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:25,478
- All right. - Okay. - Yeah.

265
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:30,317
What a coincidence. First I run
into Ray, and then we run into you.

266
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,719
I didn't even know he lived
around here, and then, boom!

267
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:36,256
All of a sudden, there he is.
Um, so, uh...

268
00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:40,827
Wha... Okay, so I am
sleeping with him.

269
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:44,164
Eddie, if you tell anyone at
the office, so help me, God...

270
00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:46,733
What are you thinking?

271
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:50,237
I'm... I'm thinking
the same thing you are, Jane,

272
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:53,306
that you and Ray are gonna
live happily ever after...

273
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,208
with matching Volvos
and chocolate labs.

274
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,177
See you Monday.

275
00:17:57,244 --> 00:18:00,213
Did you have
any friends growing up?

276
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,383
Better hurry. I think he's
waiting down the street.

277
00:19:23,196 --> 00:19:25,164
I love you, Jane.

278
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:32,839
I love you too.

279
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,517
He just came right out and
said it, after only six weeks.

280
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:48,555
Oh, my God. Takes most guys like
a year to use the "L" word.

281
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,623
When they finally do,
they're usually, you know,

282
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:53,493
on top of you,
so it doesn't really count.

283
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:57,163
What about the "D" woman? He's
telling her tomorrow night.

284
00:19:57,230 --> 00:20:00,800
Why didn't he tell her already?
He's in a complicated situation.

285
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:03,002
Anyhow, if he were
having second thoughts,

286
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:04,904
I hardly think he would've
asked me to live with him.

287
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:08,275
He asked you to live with him?
Oh, my God.

288
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:12,312
- What did you say?
- I must've said yes or something to that effect...

289
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:15,315
because he started calling realtors,
and I gave my landlord notice.

290
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:19,252
Ohh! Mazel tov!

291
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:22,355
Oh, I can't believe this!

292
00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:24,524
You're getting asked to
play house by some guy,

293
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:28,428
and I'm still on the blind
date circuit from hell.

294
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:30,797
I take it last night
did not go very well.

295
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:34,066
Awful. Do me a favor. Next time
Julian offers to set me up...

296
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:37,470
with one of his straight friends,
check me before I say yes.

297
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,739
I'm in a sad state.

298
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:43,543
And I'm telling you,
it's just screaming potential.

299
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,578
H- Hello?

300
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,780
I didn't mean to intrude.
No, we're fine.

301
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,816
Didn't you want to see the patio?
Come on out.

302
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:52,385
Isn't it just wonderful?
Wait'll you see the view.

303
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:55,488
It's just spectacular.
Right this way.

304
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,924
Right down
to the World Trade Center.

305
00:21:06,065 --> 00:21:07,867
It's such a jewel box.

306
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:13,673
I guess I'll leave you two
alone to talk things over.

307
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:18,445
Oh, my God. It's unbelievable.
I love it! I love it!

308
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:21,581
It's amazing. The light is so good!
I love you.

309
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:27,887
I don't know.

310
00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:33,593
Liz, I gotta go.

311
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:35,828
Oh, my God. He looks like
he's been hit by a bus.

312
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:37,997
I'll call you back.

313
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,869
I feel like I've been
hit by a bus.

314
00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:44,904
You told her?

315
00:21:48,174 --> 00:21:50,343
Was it bad?

316
00:21:50,410 --> 00:21:52,979
Not like I thought.

317
00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:58,284
I mean, she, uh... She didn't go
hysterical or anything like that.

318
00:21:58,351 --> 00:22:01,354
She just, uh, was kinda,

319
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:04,691
you know, eerily calm
about the whole thing.

320
00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:06,993
Well, that's good, right?
Yeah, yeah.

321
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:09,896
I just meant, you know,

322
00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:12,899
it wasn't what I expected
is all, you know?

323
00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:17,069
What'd she say about us?
She just, she just...

324
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:21,641
I- I didn't tell her. Jane, I just
didn't think it was necessary.

325
00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:23,776
I mean, to hit her over the
head with this thing...

326
00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:27,614
after three years, it
just seemed so, so awful.

327
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,049
I just told her
that it was over.

328
00:22:30,116 --> 00:22:32,218
You know? And I think that's
all she needs to know.

329
00:22:32,284 --> 00:22:36,255
Right?
S- Sure.

330
00:22:36,322 --> 00:22:38,758
And she was okay with that?
Yeah. I mean, I guess.

331
00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:41,093
I don't know. It was so...
It was just weird.

332
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:44,797
I mean, she just kinda...
Whoooh.

333
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,866
You know, she just
kinda went cold on me.

334
00:22:46,933 --> 00:22:50,202
I mean,
sh-sh-she's upset.

335
00:22:50,269 --> 00:22:51,871
She's upset, the poor thing.

336
00:22:51,938 --> 00:22:55,442
She's gotta be upset.
She's... You know.

337
00:22:55,508 --> 00:23:00,112
She just didn't seem
terribly upset, so...

338
00:23:00,179 --> 00:23:05,685
Well, you're okay with it, right?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

339
00:23:05,752 --> 00:23:09,155
I mean, you're happy.
Happy?

340
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:13,125
I am so happy. I mean,
this is what I wanted.

341
00:23:13,192 --> 00:23:15,327
I mean, there's nothing
between us anymore, you know,

342
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:20,533
and that's... that's what I was
looking for, so I'm happy.

343
00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:27,339
How exactly did Ray disappear?

344
00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:30,943
Slowly and kind of subtly.

345
00:23:31,811 --> 00:23:34,681
Single pane, double pane?

346
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,549
Single pane, I believe.
Singles.

347
00:23:36,616 --> 00:23:39,686
A lot more sun, I guess,
than I had recalled.

348
00:23:39,752 --> 00:23:44,256
This doesn't open? Oh!
Well, gotta force it. Oops.

349
00:23:44,323 --> 00:23:46,292
Well, maybe it wasn't so subtle.

350
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:48,495
Hi, babe.

351
00:23:48,561 --> 00:23:51,598
It's me again.
Listen, the realtor called,

352
00:23:51,664 --> 00:23:54,166
and she said that we have
to sign the lease by Monday.

353
00:23:54,233 --> 00:23:57,470
I know you wanted your lawyer to have a
look at the contract and everything,

354
00:23:57,537 --> 00:24:00,298
but my apartment's been re-rented,
and I have got to be out of here...

355
00:24:09,181 --> 00:24:12,118
He is not sleeping with somebody else.
What are you talking about?

356
00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:14,153
First of all,
Ray really isn't like that.

357
00:24:14,220 --> 00:24:16,222
And second of all, the poor
guy wouldn't have time.

358
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:19,025
He's been working until 3:00 in the
morning every night for 2 weeks.

359
00:24:19,091 --> 00:24:21,360
Okay, A: There's no such thing as a guy
who doesn't have time to mess around.

360
00:24:21,427 --> 00:24:24,731
They always have time for that.
If he ain't sleeping with you,

361
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:27,900
he ain't sleepin' alone.

362
00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:30,002
Right?

363
00:24:30,069 --> 00:24:33,072
Listen, you gotta talk to him.
It's better than not knowing.

364
00:24:34,941 --> 00:24:37,677
Sorry.
This patch is worth shit.

365
00:24:40,547 --> 00:24:43,516
Throughout the animal kingdom,
prey species have developed...

366
00:24:43,583 --> 00:24:47,119
a wide variety
of escape behaviors.

367
00:24:47,186 --> 00:24:50,557
Freezing is a common
response to predator alarm.

368
00:24:50,623 --> 00:24:56,328
Sensing danger, many animals will
assume a rigid, statue-like position.

369
00:24:56,395 --> 00:24:59,666
Fleeing is another
popular method.

370
00:24:59,732 --> 00:25:03,069
Some species will simply
try to outrun their captors,

371
00:25:03,135 --> 00:25:05,705
while others take
an erratic zigzag course...

372
00:25:05,772 --> 00:25:10,176
in the hopes that sudden direction shifts
will eventually tire the predator,

373
00:25:10,242 --> 00:25:14,581
causing her
to give up the chase.

374
00:25:14,647 --> 00:25:16,616
Smell the bacon, Jane?

375
00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:24,691
I'm wondering what's happening here.
I mean,

376
00:25:24,757 --> 00:25:26,626
we haven't been alone
together in a week.

377
00:25:26,693 --> 00:25:29,862
We lost that great apartment...

378
00:25:29,929 --> 00:25:32,264
because your lawyer supposedly
didn't get his act together,

379
00:25:32,331 --> 00:25:34,266
which is okay, I understand.

380
00:25:34,333 --> 00:25:36,402
But as of Saturday,
I don't have a place to live.

381
00:25:36,468 --> 00:25:39,238
Ray, what the hell's going on?

382
00:25:41,407 --> 00:25:43,275
I don't think I can do this.

383
00:25:43,342 --> 00:25:46,112
Do what?

384
00:25:46,178 --> 00:25:50,382
This. Us.

385
00:25:50,449 --> 00:25:52,885
What?

386
00:25:54,453 --> 00:25:56,989
Why?

387
00:25:57,056 --> 00:26:01,127
I don't know. What do you
mean, you don't know?

388
00:26:01,193 --> 00:26:04,030
There has to be a reason.
Just tell me what it is.

389
00:26:04,096 --> 00:26:07,499
Jane, I'm sorry. I-I...
You deserve an answer,

390
00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:09,802
and I don't think
I can explain it to you.

391
00:26:09,869 --> 00:26:15,407
I thought we...
felt the same way:

392
00:26:15,474 --> 00:26:18,811
incredibly lucky to have...

393
00:26:18,878 --> 00:26:21,580
found th-the thing.
I do.

394
00:26:22,815 --> 00:26:25,351
And here you go.
I did.

395
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,858
I...

396
00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:36,729
I just think that we both
need to take a step back.

397
00:26:38,164 --> 00:26:43,002
I mean we're talking about
a very serious move here.

398
00:26:43,069 --> 00:26:47,373
I- I just wanted...
I still...

399
00:26:50,142 --> 00:26:52,779
I don't even know
what I'm trying to say.

400
00:26:52,845 --> 00:26:56,716
I feel like... such a jerk,

401
00:26:56,783 --> 00:26:59,518
you know, believing
that this was, uh...

402
00:26:59,585 --> 00:27:01,220
Listen to me.
I love you.

403
00:27:03,189 --> 00:27:05,825
I... want us to be
important to each other.

404
00:27:05,892 --> 00:27:08,828
Please don't do that.

405
00:27:17,536 --> 00:27:20,072
Please go.

406
00:27:45,431 --> 00:27:49,435
There are few things
sadder in this life...

407
00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:53,472
than watching someone walk
away after they've left you,

408
00:27:53,539 --> 00:27:57,276
watching the distance
between your bodies expand...

409
00:27:57,343 --> 00:28:01,213
until there's nothing
but empty space...

410
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:02,982
and silence.

411
00:28:09,722 --> 00:28:12,391
Remember,

412
00:28:12,458 --> 00:28:15,494
time wounds all heals.

413
00:28:24,871 --> 00:28:28,574
Eddie Alden.
Yeah, sure. Hold on.

414
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:30,777
Hi.

415
00:28:32,611 --> 00:28:34,580
Are you all right?

416
00:28:34,646 --> 00:28:37,116
Why?
Don't I look all right?

417
00:28:39,118 --> 00:28:42,221
You look like you hate my guts.
I do hate your guts.

418
00:28:42,288 --> 00:28:45,391
That's nice.

419
00:28:45,457 --> 00:28:47,426
I don't blame you, you know.

420
00:28:47,493 --> 00:28:49,733
For what it's worth, this
hasn't been easy for me either.

421
00:28:49,762 --> 00:28:52,364
Oh, yeah, you look
really... destroyed.

422
00:28:52,431 --> 00:28:54,834
Hey.
Hey, Eddie.

423
00:28:54,901 --> 00:28:58,070
Eddie, did you by any chance
ever find a roommate?

424
00:28:59,538 --> 00:29:02,441
Well, no, actually.

425
00:29:02,508 --> 00:29:05,077
Because the place I was supposed to
move into just suddenly fell apart...

426
00:29:05,144 --> 00:29:07,980
and my apartment's
been re-rented...

427
00:29:08,047 --> 00:29:10,682
and I was wondering
if the offer's still good.

428
00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:12,785
Y- You're moving in with Eddie?
Maybe.

429
00:29:12,852 --> 00:29:15,354
What's the apartment like?
Uh...

430
00:29:15,421 --> 00:29:19,091
Just a two-bedroom loft, big kitchen,
lots of windows, living room.

431
00:29:19,158 --> 00:29:21,994
Sounds amazing.
When can I see it?

432
00:29:22,061 --> 00:29:24,964
- You're moving in with Eddie.
- How about tonight?

433
00:29:25,031 --> 00:29:28,134
Perfect.
Everything is just perfect.

434
00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:34,874
Hey.

435
00:29:36,542 --> 00:29:38,477
You okay?
Yeah.

436
00:29:45,818 --> 00:29:48,287
Here it is.
It's huge.

437
00:29:48,354 --> 00:29:53,025
Yup. Kitchen, living room,
whatever.

438
00:29:53,092 --> 00:29:56,328
Uh, my bedroom, bathroom.

439
00:29:56,395 --> 00:29:58,330
This would be your room.

440
00:30:02,601 --> 00:30:04,370
What happened here?

441
00:30:04,436 --> 00:30:07,273
Yeah, I got the urge to renovate
one night, but don't worry.

442
00:30:07,339 --> 00:30:09,942
I'd have it fixed
by the time you moved in.

443
00:30:10,009 --> 00:30:13,079
You want a drink?
Sure. Some water.

444
00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:15,014
We don't have to share
a bathroom, do we?

445
00:30:15,081 --> 00:30:17,917
Oh, no, I never,
ever use the bathroom.

446
00:30:19,351 --> 00:30:21,187
So how'd you find this place?

447
00:30:21,253 --> 00:30:25,691
My ex-girlfriend worked
in an emergency room.

448
00:30:25,757 --> 00:30:28,760
Whenever someone croaked, she'd check out
their address, see if it was rent control.

449
00:30:28,827 --> 00:30:30,629
Eventually, we got lucky.

450
00:30:30,696 --> 00:30:32,999
You lived with somebody?

451
00:30:33,065 --> 00:30:36,568
Yeah.
For how long?

452
00:30:36,635 --> 00:30:38,804
For... a while.

453
00:30:38,871 --> 00:30:43,775
So what do you think? I think
I must be out of my mind.

454
00:30:57,356 --> 00:31:00,392
Hey!
Thank you!

455
00:31:00,459 --> 00:31:02,328
Shit.

456
00:32:15,034 --> 00:32:17,970
Morphine for the pain.

457
00:32:33,419 --> 00:32:35,521
Hey.

458
00:32:37,789 --> 00:32:40,126
It was right after
she moved out.

459
00:32:47,033 --> 00:32:50,302
I just took an ax and
started hacking away at it.

460
00:32:51,737 --> 00:32:53,605
So I thought
opening up that wall...

461
00:32:53,672 --> 00:32:57,576
might make it easier
to breathe or something.

462
00:32:57,643 --> 00:32:59,611
I don't smoke.

463
00:33:14,226 --> 00:33:16,495
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

464
00:33:18,897 --> 00:33:20,999
You okay?

465
00:33:22,668 --> 00:33:24,736
Oh, yeah.

466
00:33:27,106 --> 00:33:28,774
What was her name?

467
00:33:34,946 --> 00:33:36,648
Rebecca.

468
00:33:40,219 --> 00:33:42,388
Put your shoes on.
We're going downstairs.

469
00:33:42,454 --> 00:33:44,290
What's downstairs?
You'll see.

470
00:33:49,561 --> 00:33:51,763
It's like there are
two realities.

471
00:33:51,830 --> 00:33:57,103
First, we're in love, and it's
incredible, it's perfect.

472
00:33:57,169 --> 00:33:59,871
And then poof!
"Sorry, Jane.

473
00:33:59,938 --> 00:34:01,607
Doesn't work for me
anymore."

474
00:34:01,673 --> 00:34:05,844
How is that possible? Easy.
You were living in a fantasy.

475
00:34:05,911 --> 00:34:09,981
Romance, true love, soul mates,

476
00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:11,983
it's all bullshit.

477
00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:13,885
None of it exists.

478
00:34:13,952 --> 00:34:16,588
Trust me.
I speak from experience.

479
00:34:18,457 --> 00:34:23,495
Man, she really did a
number on you, didn't she?

480
00:34:23,562 --> 00:34:25,897
Well, don't shit
on my broken heart...

481
00:34:25,964 --> 00:34:30,869
just because you converted to some
warped brand of romantic atheism.

482
00:34:30,936 --> 00:34:33,505
Oh, man! Whoo!

483
00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:35,607
It's called
self-preservation.

484
00:34:35,674 --> 00:34:39,578
Oh, in other words, you narcotize
yourself with casual sex.

485
00:34:39,645 --> 00:34:42,214
No, no, no. See, that implies
I'm avoiding reality...

486
00:34:42,281 --> 00:34:44,283
when, in fact, I embrace it.

487
00:34:47,153 --> 00:34:49,121
Don't underestimate
casual sex, Jane.

488
00:34:49,188 --> 00:34:52,258
It's very liberating.
I'll bet.

489
00:34:58,830 --> 00:35:01,467
I almost feel sorry for her.

490
00:35:01,533 --> 00:35:03,135
What for?

491
00:35:03,202 --> 00:35:05,504
I make no pretenses, okay?

492
00:35:05,571 --> 00:35:07,606
Now, if she wants to put
me up on a white horse,

493
00:35:07,673 --> 00:35:09,708
that's her choice.

494
00:35:10,642 --> 00:35:13,445
We're all
grown-ups here, Jane.

495
00:35:28,627 --> 00:35:32,731
I lay awake that night
wondering which was worse:

496
00:35:32,798 --> 00:35:37,269
Guys like Ray who blinded you
with charms and promises,

497
00:35:38,770 --> 00:35:42,241
or the Eddies of the world
who went right for your pants.

498
00:35:42,308 --> 00:35:45,211
Oh. Excuse me.

499
00:35:45,277 --> 00:35:47,579
And in the end,
it didn't matter.

500
00:35:47,646 --> 00:35:52,083
The truth was, they were all
cast from the same mold.

501
00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:55,120
But the question remained.

502
00:35:55,187 --> 00:35:57,589
Why?

503
00:35:57,656 --> 00:35:59,991
And then one day by the river,

504
00:36:00,058 --> 00:36:02,261
I found my answer.

505
00:36:03,595 --> 00:36:05,764
Holy shit!

506
00:36:09,668 --> 00:36:12,271
I told them dumb asses
it'd never work.

507
00:36:12,338 --> 00:36:15,474
You can't fool a bull, mister.
No, sir.

508
00:36:15,541 --> 00:36:18,544
He knows where he's been,
and he ain't goin' back.

509
00:36:18,610 --> 00:36:21,213
Hell, I got...
I got 93 cows.

510
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,215
Only one of 'em got nads.

511
00:36:23,282 --> 00:36:28,587
Why? 'Cause that one son of a bitch
alone can knock up an entire herd.

512
00:36:28,654 --> 00:36:32,023
But once he's done,
well, the party's over.

513
00:36:32,090 --> 00:36:35,060
I gotta go over to Ed Hickey's
place down the road...

514
00:36:35,126 --> 00:36:37,095
and trade him for a new one...

515
00:36:37,162 --> 00:36:38,964
'cause there ain't
a chance in hell...

516
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:41,767
he's ever gonna touch any of
them cows again, no, sir.

517
00:36:41,833 --> 00:36:46,938
I figured it out. I'm the old cow.
I don't get it.

518
00:36:47,005 --> 00:36:50,642
Remember a couple weeks ago when we were
laughing at that graffiti on the subway?

519
00:36:50,709 --> 00:36:52,711
"Baby, I love the
toilet you sit on"? No.

520
00:36:52,778 --> 00:36:54,813
"I'm tired of banging the
same woman every night."

521
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,982
We thought there might
actually be something to that,

522
00:36:57,048 --> 00:37:00,352
like it could be a window into their
dark... Schizophrenic behavior.

523
00:37:00,419 --> 00:37:02,454
Well, it is.
The new cow theory...

524
00:37:02,521 --> 00:37:04,656
and "I'm tired of banging the
same woman every night,"

525
00:37:04,723 --> 00:37:06,392
same thing.

526
00:37:06,458 --> 00:37:08,694
This is why men can't commit.

527
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,497
Sooner or later,
we all become old cows.

528
00:37:11,563 --> 00:37:14,099
We're identified
as already serviced,

529
00:37:14,165 --> 00:37:17,235
so they wanna move on and
find less familiar females.

530
00:37:17,303 --> 00:37:21,540
The whole novelty thing, you mean.
Neophilia, to be precise.

531
00:37:21,607 --> 00:37:24,743
What do you think? What do I think?
I think...

532
00:37:24,810 --> 00:37:27,279
it's always about you,
that's what I think.

533
00:37:27,346 --> 00:37:31,417
You fall for some guy, and it's like
men are worthy of heroic worship.

534
00:37:31,483 --> 00:37:34,986
You get dumped and suddenly they're
shit-sucking, commitment-phobic assholes.

535
00:37:35,053 --> 00:37:37,493
I'm sorry, Jane. The entire
universe does not revolve around...

536
00:37:37,556 --> 00:37:39,758
your romantic status.

537
00:37:45,864 --> 00:37:48,300
You're in love.

538
00:37:48,367 --> 00:37:50,569
I'm almost in love.

539
00:37:50,636 --> 00:37:54,873
Oh, honey,
why didn't you tell me?

540
00:37:56,975 --> 00:37:59,215
You're having a spectacular mope.
I didn't wanna ruin it.

541
00:37:59,244 --> 00:38:03,882
Oh, my God! We met at a work party
a couple of weeks ago and...

542
00:38:05,451 --> 00:38:08,854
Just incredible.
I mean, he's so...

543
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,657
And I'm so...

544
00:38:11,723 --> 00:38:14,192
Although I appreciated
Liz's intoxication...

545
00:38:14,259 --> 00:38:16,294
over her seeming good fortune,

546
00:38:16,362 --> 00:38:19,097
I refused to be derailed.

547
00:38:19,164 --> 00:38:22,200
Now armed with
my new cow theory,

548
00:38:22,267 --> 00:38:25,671
I became voracious
for information.

549
00:38:53,932 --> 00:38:55,667
What are you doing?

550
00:38:55,734 --> 00:38:58,236
Nothin'.

551
00:38:58,303 --> 00:39:00,572
Hey! Eddie!
Whoa! What's this?

552
00:39:00,639 --> 00:39:03,675
"Amygdala,
AKA erotic nose brain.

553
00:39:03,742 --> 00:39:07,345
Give it back! "An organ
located in the nasal cavity,

554
00:39:07,413 --> 00:39:09,648
"which connects smells
to memories.

555
00:39:09,715 --> 00:39:14,019
"Banana slugs,
actually hermaphrodites...

556
00:39:15,854 --> 00:39:19,825
While mating, the males
chew each other's penises off."

557
00:39:26,364 --> 00:39:27,999
I worry about you, Jane.
I really do.

558
00:39:52,390 --> 00:39:54,325
Despite my conviction,

559
00:39:54,392 --> 00:39:58,964
there was
the occasional setback.

560
00:39:59,030 --> 00:40:00,899
I want my erotic
nose brain removed.

561
00:40:00,966 --> 00:40:03,101
I beg your pardon?

562
00:40:03,168 --> 00:40:06,672
My amygdala, the organ deep
inside the nasal cavity,

563
00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:10,108
which processes scent, which
then connects to memory.

564
00:40:10,175 --> 00:40:12,043
I'd like it extracted.

565
00:40:12,110 --> 00:40:15,747
But why would you want to voluntarily
make yourself anosmatic?

566
00:40:15,814 --> 00:40:18,316
Well, let me see
if I can explain this.

567
00:40:18,383 --> 00:40:20,819
Um, I had this boyfriend, okay?

568
00:40:20,886 --> 00:40:25,390
And he smelled really,
really good, like soap...

569
00:40:25,457 --> 00:40:30,662
and fresh laundry and vanilla.

570
00:40:30,729 --> 00:40:32,998
And every time I smell
any of those smells,

571
00:40:33,064 --> 00:40:36,334
I'm reminded of my boyfriend
and how happy we were...

572
00:40:36,401 --> 00:40:38,336
before he dumped me
for no good reason.

573
00:40:38,403 --> 00:40:42,207
And I get very sad,
and then I get angry.

574
00:40:42,273 --> 00:40:47,546
And then before I know it, I am in the
throes of an all-out emotional breakdown.

575
00:40:47,613 --> 00:40:50,148
And so I was
just thinking, Dr. Glen,

576
00:40:50,215 --> 00:40:53,251
if I can just short-circuit
my nose somehow,

577
00:40:53,318 --> 00:40:57,723
I might actually have a chance of
living a semi-normal life someday.

578
00:40:57,789 --> 00:41:00,892
Hey, wait!

579
00:41:44,636 --> 00:41:46,437
Couldn't sleep?

580
00:41:46,504 --> 00:41:49,174
No.
Me neither.

581
00:41:49,240 --> 00:41:52,811
Does that happen to you a lot?

582
00:41:52,878 --> 00:41:55,046
Yeah.

583
00:41:56,014 --> 00:41:57,983
Me too.

584
00:41:59,985 --> 00:42:01,887
Mmm.

585
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,669
Just like eating worms.
Yeah.

586
00:42:24,342 --> 00:42:26,778
Talent. Mmm.
These are good.

587
00:42:27,979 --> 00:42:29,981
Here.

588
00:42:31,583 --> 00:42:33,752
Head back.

589
00:42:40,626 --> 00:42:42,527
Yeah?
Good.

590
00:42:42,594 --> 00:42:44,763
Good.

591
00:42:50,001 --> 00:42:51,837
Cold dumplings.
My favorite.

592
00:42:52,838 --> 00:42:57,175
Way to go, Tomcat.
Two points.

593
00:42:57,242 --> 00:42:59,177
Tomcat?

594
00:42:59,244 --> 00:43:01,112
Cheerleader.

595
00:43:01,179 --> 00:43:03,414
A what?

596
00:43:03,481 --> 00:43:05,483
I was a cheerleader.

597
00:43:05,550 --> 00:43:07,886
You were a cheerleader?
Yes, I was.

598
00:43:07,953 --> 00:43:12,858
Paul G. Blazer Memorial High. Pride and joy
of Cincinnati, Ohio, state champs, 1989.

599
00:43:12,924 --> 00:43:15,160
Go, Cats.
Go, Cats.

600
00:43:15,226 --> 00:43:16,928
Well, show me.

601
00:43:16,995 --> 00:43:19,097
No. No!
Come on! Why not?

602
00:43:19,164 --> 00:43:22,033
I just haven't done it in
ten years, Eddie. Come on.

603
00:43:22,100 --> 00:43:25,236
You come on. Show me. You have to
do something that merits a cheer.

604
00:43:25,303 --> 00:43:28,239
Like, uh, like, like...

605
00:43:28,306 --> 00:43:31,376
Like three dumplings,
left-handed, in a row.

606
00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:34,045
You can't do that.
Deal?

607
00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:35,747
Deal.

608
00:43:35,814 --> 00:43:39,317
One, two, three.

609
00:43:39,384 --> 00:43:42,120
Like that?

610
00:43:42,187 --> 00:43:45,056
Come on. Come on.

611
00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:46,825
Come on.

612
00:43:46,892 --> 00:43:51,029
You promise not to laugh?
No. Come on.

613
00:44:00,471 --> 00:44:02,107
What are those?
Pom-poms.

614
00:44:04,943 --> 00:44:07,045
Okay.

615
00:44:07,112 --> 00:44:09,180
I hate you.

616
00:44:09,247 --> 00:44:11,216
It's okay.

617
00:44:16,221 --> 00:44:18,556
Ready? Okay!

618
00:44:18,623 --> 00:44:21,326
The Tomcats are here...

619
00:44:21,392 --> 00:44:23,394
to show...

620
00:44:23,461 --> 00:44:25,864
Whoa.

621
00:44:31,502 --> 00:44:33,805
Ready? Okay!

622
00:44:33,872 --> 00:44:35,640
The Tomcats are here...

623
00:44:35,707 --> 00:44:38,744
to show who's top.

624
00:44:38,810 --> 00:44:40,812
You think can beat us...

625
00:44:40,879 --> 00:44:43,514
but we can't be stopped!

626
00:44:43,581 --> 00:44:45,350
Go, Tomcats!

627
00:44:45,416 --> 00:44:50,055
- Whoo! First and ten and...
- Eddie?

628
00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:53,458
Oh. Oh, sh... Um...

629
00:44:53,524 --> 00:44:55,626
Oh, hey, hey.

630
00:44:55,693 --> 00:45:00,165
Um...
Hi. I'm, uh, Jane.

631
00:45:00,231 --> 00:45:01,967
Roommate.

632
00:45:02,033 --> 00:45:05,804
Isabel.
Isabel, Jane.

633
00:45:05,871 --> 00:45:09,140
You can clean up. It's your turn.
Okay. Okay.

634
00:45:09,207 --> 00:45:12,443
Good night.
We're a little noisy.

635
00:45:21,987 --> 00:45:24,155
Hi, George. It's Jane.

636
00:45:27,959 --> 00:45:29,694
God, I'm such an idiot.

637
00:45:29,761 --> 00:45:32,663
I mean, I sensed things were a little
off when he got back from L.A.,

638
00:45:32,730 --> 00:45:36,201
but I just thought that he was
just jet-lagged or something.

639
00:45:36,267 --> 00:45:38,336
Then he tells me the France
thing isn't such a good idea...

640
00:45:38,403 --> 00:45:40,338
because he's gonna have
to work the whole time anyway,

641
00:45:40,405 --> 00:45:42,373
so still, I figure,
"Okay, that's no big deal."

642
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:44,609
So Friday he gets on a plane,
he goes over there alone.

643
00:45:44,675 --> 00:45:47,245
Right? Wrong.

644
00:45:47,312 --> 00:45:50,515
An hour ago, I call his hotel
room to say good night.

645
00:45:50,581 --> 00:45:52,951
Guess who answered the phone 1:00 a. m.
Paris time?

646
00:45:54,619 --> 00:45:57,055
Penelope Pope.

647
00:45:57,122 --> 00:45:59,357
Who's Penelope Pope?
I have no idea,

648
00:45:59,424 --> 00:46:01,960
but that's what she said when I
said, "Who the fuck is this?"

649
00:46:02,027 --> 00:46:06,264
Oh, God. I don't get it!
Liz, I'm sorry.

650
00:46:06,331 --> 00:46:11,937
I mean, why feed me all that romantic
crap if he's just gonna cheat on me?

651
00:46:12,003 --> 00:46:14,973
- Copulatory imperative.
- Excuse me?

652
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:18,309
It's the biological urge
to spread their seed.

653
00:46:18,376 --> 00:46:22,047
The truth is, less than five percent
of all male animals are monogamous.

654
00:46:22,113 --> 00:46:25,050
The other 95% are...

655
00:46:25,116 --> 00:46:27,018
Pucking Penelope Pope?

656
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,296
Hi, Jane.

657
00:46:38,363 --> 00:46:41,900
I, uh, stopped by H&H
on the way in,

658
00:46:41,967 --> 00:46:45,136
picked up a sesame seed bagel...

659
00:46:45,203 --> 00:46:47,939
lightly toasted,
just like you liked.

660
00:46:54,212 --> 00:46:56,147
Okay.

661
00:47:04,422 --> 00:47:06,691
Ray has a cold. I'm hoping it
will turn into pneumonia...

662
00:47:06,757 --> 00:47:10,428
and that weeks of bed rest will
cause abdominal muscles to atrophy.

663
00:47:15,533 --> 00:47:18,469
Ben wants to add a column
to the magazine for women.

664
00:47:18,536 --> 00:47:21,672
It finally hit him that 20%
of our readership is female.

665
00:47:21,739 --> 00:47:23,875
The idea is for it
to be about men.

666
00:47:23,942 --> 00:47:25,944
You know, how they're
so paranoid...

667
00:47:26,011 --> 00:47:29,114
about going bald and
that kind of thing, so...

668
00:47:29,180 --> 00:47:31,950
Forget baldness. The real
issue is their behavior.

669
00:47:32,017 --> 00:47:34,519
You know, that stuff like
that copulatory impulse...

670
00:47:34,585 --> 00:47:37,088
Imperative. Hey, Bobby, can
I get some more hot water?

671
00:47:37,155 --> 00:47:39,224
The point is, I think
you should write it.

672
00:47:39,290 --> 00:47:41,659
Are you crazy?

673
00:47:41,726 --> 00:47:44,562
Well, why not? I'm not a writer.
I'm not a psychologist.

674
00:47:44,629 --> 00:47:46,264
We don't need a psychologist.

675
00:47:46,331 --> 00:47:48,499
We need someone who's been
in the trenches, baby.

676
00:47:48,566 --> 00:47:52,370
Liz, I don't know
what I'm talking about.

677
00:47:52,437 --> 00:47:56,074
All I have are a bunch of notebooks
filled with ridiculous little factoids.

678
00:47:56,141 --> 00:47:59,344
I mean, this is not a full-time job.
This is a hobby.

679
00:47:59,410 --> 00:48:03,014
A sick, twisted,
pathetic little hobby.

680
00:48:03,081 --> 00:48:06,084
You get paid to write about something
you're already obsessed with.

681
00:48:06,151 --> 00:48:09,187
If you want anonymity,
we'll give you a pen name.

682
00:48:09,254 --> 00:48:11,389
I personally think
it'd be cathartic for you,

683
00:48:11,456 --> 00:48:15,093
and you'd be doing your dear, sweet,
wonderful friend a huge favor.

684
00:48:18,763 --> 00:48:20,665
Pen name, huh?

685
00:48:25,770 --> 00:48:29,507
I'm doing this once. Do you hear me?
One time.

686
00:48:29,574 --> 00:48:32,443
Fine. I'm telling you,
it's gonna be fun. Fun?

687
00:48:32,510 --> 00:48:35,546
I'm helping concoct the background
of a nonexistent scientist...

688
00:48:35,613 --> 00:48:40,185
who's about to publish her delusional
theories in the nation's top men's magazine.

689
00:48:40,251 --> 00:48:43,421
You're right. Ha!
This is fun.

690
00:48:43,488 --> 00:48:45,790
Okay, try this. Um...

691
00:48:45,856 --> 00:48:49,427
Born in Sussex, 1937.

692
00:48:51,296 --> 00:48:57,035
Cofounder of the Institute of
Pathological Narcissism in Vienna.

693
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:14,485
Who is she? The recently deceased
Harriet Gould of Astoria.

694
00:49:14,552 --> 00:49:16,988
No surviving relatives.
She's perfect.

695
00:49:17,055 --> 00:49:20,458
She even has a bun.
That's her.

696
00:49:20,525 --> 00:49:23,194
Dr. Marie Charles.

697
00:49:23,261 --> 00:49:25,663
Oh, my God.

698
00:49:58,963 --> 00:50:01,232
Every bull
begins a relationship...

699
00:50:01,299 --> 00:50:04,269
with certain cards
up his sleeve... aces.

700
00:50:04,335 --> 00:50:08,573
Tools of seduction
by which he lures a new cow.

701
00:50:08,639 --> 00:50:10,875
One of the most
notorious examples...

702
00:50:10,941 --> 00:50:12,843
is the current cow sob story.

703
00:50:12,910 --> 00:50:17,315
Allow me to deconstruct
the essential elements.

704
00:50:17,382 --> 00:50:20,285
You're so easy to talk to,

705
00:50:20,351 --> 00:50:22,820
not like my current cow.

706
00:50:22,887 --> 00:50:25,523
This is key to understanding
the myth of male shyness,

707
00:50:25,590 --> 00:50:27,492
for though you think
he is flattering you,

708
00:50:27,558 --> 00:50:29,560
he is actually
flattering himself,

709
00:50:29,627 --> 00:50:33,098
showing how open and
sensitive and honest he is.

710
00:50:35,266 --> 00:50:39,804
I just try so hard and...

711
00:50:39,870 --> 00:50:43,341
Well, I'm sure she doesn't
mean to be such a cold cow.

712
00:50:43,408 --> 00:50:46,844
Just in case you're starting to think he's
a coldhearted, home-wrecking womanizer,

713
00:50:46,911 --> 00:50:49,780
he'll throw this in just to prove
he's putting his current cow...

714
00:50:49,847 --> 00:50:51,782
out to pasture for good reason,

715
00:50:51,849 --> 00:50:54,919
and that he's actually tormented with
guilt at the thought of abandoning her.

716
00:50:54,985 --> 00:50:58,556
What's that thing they always say
about the love of a good woman?

717
00:50:58,623 --> 00:51:01,326
That, once offered,
it's guaranteed to come back...

718
00:51:01,392 --> 00:51:03,328
and bite her in the ass.

719
00:51:03,394 --> 00:51:05,696
Enter case in point.
Hey.

720
00:51:05,763 --> 00:51:08,199
Hey. Thought you were
with what's her name.

721
00:51:08,266 --> 00:51:12,403
Didn't work out. You have a little saddle
sore on that white horse of yours?

722
00:51:14,372 --> 00:51:17,275
Okay, so what happened?
Just lost interest.

723
00:51:17,342 --> 00:51:20,111
What do you mean,
you lost interest?

724
00:51:20,178 --> 00:51:22,012
How exactly?

725
00:51:22,079 --> 00:51:26,217
Christ, Jane, do we really have
to have another postmortem?

726
00:51:26,284 --> 00:51:29,354
I'm just curious is all.
So you went to a movie,

727
00:51:29,420 --> 00:51:32,357
then back to her place?

728
00:51:32,423 --> 00:51:35,660
Then what?

729
00:51:35,726 --> 00:51:37,728
So we're in the kitchen
getting a drink,

730
00:51:37,795 --> 00:51:39,764
and suddenly, she starts
looking for food.

731
00:51:39,830 --> 00:51:43,268
We had dinner right after the movie, but...
I don't know.

732
00:51:43,334 --> 00:51:46,271
She was still hungry. She's
always hungry, it seems.

733
00:51:46,337 --> 00:51:49,840
And that's bad, Women who eat?

734
00:51:53,578 --> 00:51:57,615
Okay, so you're in the kitchen,
she's hungry again, inexplicably,

735
00:51:57,682 --> 00:51:59,350
then what?

736
00:51:59,417 --> 00:52:02,920
So she takes out a pint
of Haagen-Dazs... a pint...

737
00:52:02,987 --> 00:52:06,624
And just starts eating it
right out of the container,

738
00:52:06,691 --> 00:52:09,894
and there was just something
about it that turned me off.

739
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:13,198
Was the refrigerator door open?

740
00:52:13,264 --> 00:52:15,833
Why? Answer the question.
Open or closed?

741
00:52:15,900 --> 00:52:18,035
It was open, I think.

742
00:52:18,102 --> 00:52:20,171
Would it have made a
difference if it were shut?

743
00:52:20,238 --> 00:52:23,208
Would that have made the act of a
nonfat woman eating ice cream...

744
00:52:23,274 --> 00:52:24,975
a little less revolting to you?

745
00:52:25,042 --> 00:52:29,013
What if she'd not had dinner? What
if she were legitimately hungry...

746
00:52:29,079 --> 00:52:31,949
before she shoved her face
into a trough of Haagen-Dazs?

747
00:52:32,016 --> 00:52:34,285
Would it have repulsed you
less if she used a dish?

748
00:52:34,352 --> 00:52:37,322
- Good night, you psycho!
- Good night, neophiliac!

749
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:45,230
Are you sitting down?

750
00:52:45,296 --> 00:52:48,433
Oprah read the article
on her show today.

751
00:52:48,499 --> 00:52:50,568
The audience went so crazy for
it, she called us personally,

752
00:52:50,635 --> 00:52:52,475
begging for Dr. Charles
to appear as her guest.

753
00:52:52,503 --> 00:52:55,873
What? I told everyone in P.R.
a different story.

754
00:52:55,940 --> 00:52:59,410
She's vacationing in Hong Kong.
She's at a conference in Tangiers.

755
00:52:59,477 --> 00:53:02,680
Oh, this is bad. No, no, no.
This is all good.

756
00:53:02,747 --> 00:53:05,550
Okay? Trust me. I've got
it all under control.

757
00:53:05,616 --> 00:53:07,918
This won't come
anywhere near you.

758
00:53:07,985 --> 00:53:10,921
"And so, while the male
may often seem shy...

759
00:53:10,988 --> 00:53:16,060
"with all his Uriah Heep hand-wringin'
and 'aw, shucks' toe-kickin',

760
00:53:16,126 --> 00:53:18,863
"he's actually a narcissist...

761
00:53:18,929 --> 00:53:24,134
"because this apparent shyness belies
the more deeply rooted feelings...

762
00:53:24,201 --> 00:53:27,905
"of unworthiness
and fear of rejection.

763
00:53:27,972 --> 00:53:32,343
"And this is what compels him
to constantly seek attention...

764
00:53:32,410 --> 00:53:38,316
from new cow after new cow
ad nauseam, ad infinitum."

765
00:53:38,383 --> 00:53:40,585
This is such great stuff.

766
00:53:40,651 --> 00:53:43,721
It obliterates any
sentimentality we might have...

767
00:53:43,788 --> 00:53:45,990
about what
noble creatures men are.

768
00:53:46,056 --> 00:53:49,427
This right here is what we've been
looking for. It's-It's provocative.

769
00:53:49,494 --> 00:53:52,863
It's clever. It's got mass
appeal written all over it.

770
00:53:52,930 --> 00:53:55,700
There's just one problem. Nobody
can seem to find this woman.

771
00:53:55,766 --> 00:53:58,168
The Today Show's tried.
Oprah's tried.

772
00:53:58,235 --> 00:54:00,338
Yeah, and have you tried?
Eddie?

773
00:54:00,405 --> 00:54:03,741
- Uh, well, no.
- Well, get on it!

774
00:54:03,808 --> 00:54:06,844
Do you realize what
we're talking about here?

775
00:54:06,911 --> 00:54:10,848
The ungettable get?
Yes!

776
00:54:10,915 --> 00:54:15,185
I don't care what it takes. You
find that Dr. Marie Charles...

777
00:54:15,252 --> 00:54:18,022
and bring her here to my studio.

778
00:54:18,088 --> 00:54:20,725
Let me get this straight. Your
best friend works at M magazine...

779
00:54:20,791 --> 00:54:22,960
and she has no idea
where this cow doctor is?

780
00:54:23,027 --> 00:54:24,829
That's what she said.

781
00:54:24,895 --> 00:54:27,064
I don't buy that.
Why are you holding out on me?

782
00:54:27,131 --> 00:54:29,233
I'm not!
I told you she's working on it!

783
00:54:29,300 --> 00:54:31,336
Just give me her number. I'm
not gonna give you her number.

784
00:54:31,402 --> 00:54:32,970
Why not?
She's working on it!

785
00:54:33,037 --> 00:54:35,440
Besides, you'd never reach her.
She's at Jivamukti. Huh?

786
00:54:35,506 --> 00:54:37,475
Yoga.
Yoga what?

787
00:54:37,542 --> 00:54:39,910
Jivamukti.
Jiv...

788
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:45,983
Manhattan. Jivamukti.
Eddie!

789
00:54:46,050 --> 00:54:48,453
It's a yoga place.

790
00:54:48,519 --> 00:54:51,021
Eddie, don't be a jerk!

791
00:54:54,825 --> 00:54:57,294
Eddie, come on!

792
00:54:57,362 --> 00:54:59,997
This is so ridiculous.
Ohhh!

793
00:55:00,064 --> 00:55:03,000
Hey, hey, you have
to leave your shoes in here.

794
00:55:06,504 --> 00:55:09,540
Liz?
Excuse me.

795
00:55:09,607 --> 00:55:14,379
Jerk, she is my best friend.
I would certainly know if...

796
00:55:14,445 --> 00:55:16,647
Jane?

797
00:55:17,915 --> 00:55:19,517
Stay!

798
00:55:19,584 --> 00:55:23,220
- Bring your leg up higher.
- Excuse me, sir, you're gonna have to leave.

799
00:55:23,287 --> 00:55:25,247
Gee. Sorry. I know. I'm
just looking for a friend.

800
00:55:25,289 --> 00:55:27,625
Oh.

801
00:55:27,692 --> 00:55:30,395
- Sorry. You okay?
- Eddie.

802
00:55:34,665 --> 00:55:37,902
How you doin', Becca?

803
00:55:37,968 --> 00:55:40,371
I'm good.

804
00:55:42,272 --> 00:55:44,074
What are you doing here?

805
00:55:46,544 --> 00:55:49,947
I, uh... I-I don't know.

806
00:55:51,582 --> 00:55:53,350
Come, class. Let's forget
about this disturbance.

807
00:55:53,418 --> 00:55:55,285
It's okay. Everyone,
let's come on up.

808
00:55:55,352 --> 00:55:58,623
Get back to your spaces and
let's prepare for lion pose.

809
00:55:58,689 --> 00:56:02,560
Hey, inhale. Exhale.
Open your mouth.

810
00:56:02,627 --> 00:56:04,462
Stick out your tongue.

811
00:56:04,529 --> 00:56:08,298
That was Rebecca?
Eddie, talk to me.

812
00:56:08,365 --> 00:56:10,300
There's nothing to talk about.

813
00:56:10,367 --> 00:56:13,771
Hi, Liz.
I cannot believe it.

814
00:56:13,838 --> 00:56:16,874
Hey, Janey!
Hi! Hi, guys!

815
00:56:16,941 --> 00:56:19,844
Eddie, this is my sister Alice
and my brother-in-law Stephen.

816
00:56:19,910 --> 00:56:23,681
- You're... Eddie.
- Yeah. Hey.

817
00:56:23,748 --> 00:56:26,116
- Are you two taking yoga class together?
- No.

818
00:56:26,183 --> 00:56:30,120
- We were just... I... It-It's stupid.
- No, no, it's not stupid.

819
00:56:30,187 --> 00:56:32,690
We don't think it's stupid. No. We
just started the pregnancy class.

820
00:56:32,757 --> 00:56:34,792
Oh, yeah.
Congratulations.

821
00:56:34,859 --> 00:56:37,828
- Thanks. She's a great breather.
- Listen, I gotta go.

822
00:56:37,895 --> 00:56:40,598
Hey, it was really nice to
meet you, Eddie. Bye-bye.

823
00:57:19,369 --> 00:57:22,873
Eddie preferred
to leave things unsaid...

824
00:57:22,940 --> 00:57:26,777
and went back to grazing
in greener pastures.

825
00:57:28,212 --> 00:57:31,616
Merry Christmas.

826
00:57:31,682 --> 00:57:33,618
Merry Christmas, everyone.

827
00:57:33,684 --> 00:57:35,686
Merry Christmas.

828
00:57:35,753 --> 00:57:38,623
I'm getting out of here. Okay.

829
00:57:41,158 --> 00:57:43,594
Uh, two champagnes, please.
Yes, sir.

830
00:57:43,661 --> 00:57:47,164
Shouldn't that be a champagne
and a Shirley Temple?

831
00:57:47,231 --> 00:57:50,267
Sorry.
No, you're not.

832
00:57:50,334 --> 00:57:54,104
- So where'd you meet her?
- She's Emily's roommate.

833
00:57:54,171 --> 00:57:57,441
Emily that I made
coffee for last Sunday?

834
00:57:57,508 --> 00:57:59,777
Uh-huh.

835
00:57:59,844 --> 00:58:02,212
Isn't that complicated?

836
00:58:02,279 --> 00:58:06,050
It's never complicated, Jane.

837
00:58:06,116 --> 00:58:08,052
Thank you.

838
00:58:24,669 --> 00:58:28,272
Evening, sir.
What can I get you?

839
00:58:28,338 --> 00:58:30,340
Scotch, please.
Yes, sir.

840
00:58:30,407 --> 00:58:33,978
Did you hear Diane's joke
about the reindeer?

841
00:58:35,546 --> 00:58:37,548
Funny!

842
00:58:41,318 --> 00:58:43,387
- Here you go.
- Thank you.

843
00:58:52,763 --> 00:58:55,199
I miss you, Jane.

844
00:59:02,539 --> 00:59:05,843
Am I... Am I supposed
to walk away now?

845
00:59:09,546 --> 00:59:12,549
No.

846
00:59:12,617 --> 00:59:16,754
Can we get away from this?
Can we do something?

847
00:59:16,821 --> 00:59:19,256
Get together for lunch,
dinner, Friday night.

848
00:59:22,627 --> 00:59:24,629
Friday is New Year's Eve.

849
00:59:24,695 --> 00:59:28,999
Oh, that's right.
That's right.

850
00:59:29,066 --> 00:59:31,168
You probably have
some, uh, plans.

851
00:59:31,235 --> 00:59:33,170
Don't you?
Yeah.

852
00:59:33,237 --> 00:59:36,306
Yes, I do.
Yes, I do.

853
00:59:36,373 --> 00:59:39,777
I have...

854
00:59:39,844 --> 00:59:43,313
No.

855
00:59:43,380 --> 00:59:47,417
I have none.

856
00:59:47,484 --> 00:59:52,790
Could I call you?
Would that be okay?

857
00:59:55,392 --> 00:59:58,228
Yeah.

858
01:00:00,164 --> 01:00:03,868
Merry Christmas, Jane.

859
01:00:03,934 --> 01:00:05,934
Yee-haaaw!

860
01:00:08,172 --> 01:00:11,208
Well, you can't stop now.
We'll do it together.

861
01:00:11,275 --> 01:00:13,610
You're syndicated
in over 300 newspapers.

862
01:00:13,678 --> 01:00:15,512
Talk radio is having
a field day with it.

863
01:00:15,579 --> 01:00:18,683
Clearly the world is
one giant used-cow lot.

864
01:00:18,749 --> 01:00:22,720
Look, I just want to think about it, okay?
What's there to think about?

865
01:00:22,787 --> 01:00:25,255
You don't want to be
a post-feminist icon?

866
01:00:25,322 --> 01:00:29,326
Come on. Let's get something great to
wear for Julian's New Year's Eve party.

867
01:00:31,295 --> 01:00:35,599
I meant to tell you that...
I kind of made other plans.

868
01:00:35,666 --> 01:00:37,902
I mean, it's nothing major.
It's not a big...

869
01:00:37,968 --> 01:00:40,404
Well... What are you
talking about?

870
01:00:40,470 --> 01:00:44,742
Ray asked me out.
Ray?

871
01:00:44,809 --> 01:00:47,845
As in Ray Brown?

872
01:00:47,912 --> 01:00:49,847
As in devil incarnate?

873
01:00:49,914 --> 01:00:52,016
No! No, I forbid it!

874
01:00:52,082 --> 01:00:54,151
I- I-I thought you
were over this.

875
01:00:54,218 --> 01:00:57,154
I think I'm having
second thoughts.

876
01:00:57,221 --> 01:01:02,727
Oh, so now... Dr. Charles
is having them too.

877
01:01:12,837 --> 01:01:15,906
Done yet?
You got a hot date?

878
01:01:15,973 --> 01:01:18,642
No, I just have to pee.
Be my guest.

879
01:01:18,709 --> 01:01:21,311
What's this, party Viagra? Huh?

880
01:01:21,378 --> 01:01:23,480
No, it's nicotine gum.

881
01:01:23,547 --> 01:01:27,985
When did you quit? Oh, since Daphne
told me she wanted to marry a smoker.

882
01:01:28,052 --> 01:01:30,287
Here.

883
01:01:30,354 --> 01:01:32,356
Thank you.

884
01:01:32,422 --> 01:01:34,703
Why don't you put on a dress
and come out with me tonight?

885
01:01:34,759 --> 01:01:36,861
Why, so I can
trail after your harem?

886
01:01:36,927 --> 01:01:39,529
I'm flying solo. I thought
I'd keep my options open.

887
01:01:39,596 --> 01:01:41,631
Yeah?

888
01:01:41,698 --> 01:01:43,567
Although that may be for me.

889
01:01:45,736 --> 01:01:47,237
- Hello.
- You're home.

890
01:01:47,304 --> 01:01:48,944
Does this mean you've
come to your senses?

891
01:01:49,006 --> 01:01:51,175
No, and I only have
an hour to get ready.

892
01:01:51,241 --> 01:01:53,377
So quit worrying about me.
Go out. Have a good time.

893
01:01:53,443 --> 01:01:55,379
I'm going to wear that red lipstick
you gave, and I'll call you tomorrow.

894
01:01:55,445 --> 01:01:57,214
Okay. Bye.
Bye.

895
01:02:04,154 --> 01:02:06,891
Why are you doing this
to yourself?

896
01:02:08,692 --> 01:02:11,328
- Doing what?
- Ray.

897
01:02:11,395 --> 01:02:14,198
I don't know what
you're talking about.

898
01:02:14,264 --> 01:02:17,234
Okay.

899
01:02:17,301 --> 01:02:22,539
Well, if you change your mind,
this is where I'll be. Oh, thanks.

900
01:02:22,606 --> 01:02:25,409
I think I'll...
jump into my pj's,

901
01:02:25,475 --> 01:02:27,812
probably watch a little TV...

902
01:02:27,878 --> 01:02:30,080
go to bed early...
Happy New Year.

903
01:02:30,147 --> 01:02:32,216
Same to you!

904
01:02:51,435 --> 01:02:57,107
Now, back to our special New Year's
Eve coverage with Hugh Downs.

905
01:02:57,174 --> 01:02:59,877
To recap, it was
less than 48 hours ago...

906
01:02:59,944 --> 01:03:02,212
that Ray Brown called
to confirm his plans...

907
01:03:02,279 --> 01:03:04,348
to take Jane Goodale out
this evening,

908
01:03:04,414 --> 01:03:06,683
a clear indication
that he was, indeed,

909
01:03:06,750 --> 01:03:10,054
regretting his decision
to terminate their involvement.

910
01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:13,790
So the question remains,
why hasn't he shown up yet?

911
01:03:13,858 --> 01:03:17,761
By all accounts, it would appear that Mr.
Brown is sticking firmly...

912
01:03:17,828 --> 01:03:20,297
to his September sanctions.

913
01:04:20,624 --> 01:04:26,063
Nine, eight, seven,

914
01:04:26,130 --> 01:04:31,835
six, five, four,
three, two, one!

915
01:04:31,902 --> 01:04:33,938
Happy New Year!

916
01:04:36,373 --> 01:04:38,075
Jane!

917
01:04:48,418 --> 01:04:51,355
Whoo!

918
01:04:55,659 --> 01:04:57,627
Ahh...

919
01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:02,532
Ohh...

920
01:05:13,277 --> 01:05:16,046
Jane!

921
01:05:29,559 --> 01:05:31,928
Happy New Year!

922
01:05:40,137 --> 01:05:43,273
Jane? Don't even bother.

923
01:05:43,340 --> 01:05:46,176
I- I need to talk to you. Shh...

924
01:05:46,243 --> 01:05:49,579
Excuse me. Why didn't you...
Why didn't you return my calls?

925
01:05:49,646 --> 01:05:51,781
You mean the calls that came
after the call you didn't make?

926
01:05:51,848 --> 01:05:53,883
I...
This is not true.

927
01:05:53,950 --> 01:05:57,554
It's so true.

928
01:06:02,226 --> 01:06:04,261
Will you stop for just a moment?

929
01:06:04,328 --> 01:06:06,230
Hey, Jane. Listen, I
know it was inexcus...

930
01:06:06,296 --> 01:06:08,332
Good morning!
Hi, Jane. Ray.

931
01:06:08,398 --> 01:06:11,735
There's a reason I didn't show up
that night. I'm sure there is.

932
01:06:11,801 --> 01:06:13,870
And you know what? I
couldn't possibly care less.

933
01:06:13,937 --> 01:06:15,739
So let's forget
about it. Okay!

934
01:06:15,805 --> 01:06:18,075
I don't suppose you're
interested in hearing me out.

935
01:06:18,142 --> 01:06:20,177
You know what, Ray?
The truth is...

936
01:06:20,244 --> 01:06:23,013
Hi!
You did me a favor.

937
01:06:23,080 --> 01:06:26,050
Any delusions I may have still
had about you, they're gone now.

938
01:06:27,017 --> 01:06:29,686
It was a gift.
You released me.

939
01:06:29,753 --> 01:06:32,356
For the first time
in months, I feel great.

940
01:06:32,422 --> 01:06:36,126
Staff meeting in my office in two minutes.
Okay, be right there.

941
01:06:38,228 --> 01:06:42,332
Uh, what's wrong?

942
01:06:42,399 --> 01:06:45,469
Diane's wearing your shirt.

943
01:06:45,535 --> 01:06:48,505
The shirt I bought you
on the sidewalk.

944
01:06:54,144 --> 01:06:57,347
So, does that mean
that the, uh...

945
01:06:57,414 --> 01:07:01,318
The two of you are...
Seeing each other again.

946
01:07:01,385 --> 01:07:04,788
Yes. That's what I've been
trying to explain. Wait. Stop.

947
01:07:04,854 --> 01:07:07,224
Did you say, "Again"?

948
01:07:07,291 --> 01:07:10,460
I should have told you
a long time ago,

949
01:07:10,527 --> 01:07:13,297
but Diane insisted
on keeping it quiet.

950
01:07:13,363 --> 01:07:15,432
We got back together right
before New Year's and... Oh...

951
01:07:15,499 --> 01:07:19,403
And we went away for a couple of days, and
it was terrible of me to not call, but I...

952
01:07:19,469 --> 01:07:22,272
Ray, I've got
Tony Robbins on line three!

953
01:07:22,339 --> 01:07:26,310
- Ohh! Go on.
- I'm really sorry, Jane.

954
01:07:46,330 --> 01:07:49,633
Hey, what is it?

955
01:07:49,699 --> 01:07:52,869
"D..." She's "D."
I'm not following.

956
01:07:52,936 --> 01:07:55,572
Di... Di... "D."
Diane is "D."

957
01:07:55,639 --> 01:07:58,375
Yes. "D" is for Diane.
"E" is for Eddie.

958
01:07:58,442 --> 01:08:01,345
Ray's "D."
She's the one!

959
01:08:01,411 --> 01:08:03,847
I mean, she was... She is the one.
I mean, she...

960
01:08:03,913 --> 01:08:05,815
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa.

961
01:08:05,882 --> 01:08:07,884
Just breathe.
Breathe, Jane. Breathe.

962
01:08:07,951 --> 01:08:10,587
Now, let me get this straight.
Ray and Diane are together?

963
01:08:10,654 --> 01:08:13,157
Back together. Together again. All right.
I get it. I get it.

964
01:08:13,223 --> 01:08:15,525
Let it go. Ray and Diane? Yeah!

965
01:08:15,592 --> 01:08:17,561
Okay. Shh...
It doesn't matter.

966
01:08:17,627 --> 01:08:19,696
That chapter's over, remember?
It doesn't matter.

967
01:08:19,763 --> 01:08:21,931
Now we got to go in there,
so pull it together.

968
01:08:21,998 --> 01:08:24,334
Do you hear me?
Don't cry.

969
01:08:24,401 --> 01:08:26,870
Don't cry, please.
You're gonna be fine.

970
01:08:26,936 --> 01:08:28,805
Okay.
We're gonna go in there.

971
01:08:28,872 --> 01:08:31,875
Good. You all right? Okay.

972
01:08:33,543 --> 01:08:36,980
Jane, where are we
for next week?

973
01:08:37,046 --> 01:08:40,717
Uh, we're-we're all set with
Gerard Depardieu. Right, Jane?

974
01:08:40,784 --> 01:08:44,521
Oh, good.
New movie?

975
01:08:44,588 --> 01:08:46,990
Am-Amazing.
Amazing.

976
01:08:47,056 --> 01:08:49,559
I- I actually, uh...
I saw it. It's, uh...

977
01:08:49,626 --> 01:08:52,061
About a man whose whole
marriage falls apart and...

978
01:08:52,128 --> 01:08:54,664
I mean, it's brutal,
actually. I mean...

979
01:08:54,731 --> 01:08:56,933
You know, they show
the whole love story first.

980
01:08:57,000 --> 01:09:00,770
You see that this woman means...
everything to this-this man.

981
01:09:00,837 --> 01:09:03,840
In fact, there's this-this...
this one scene...

982
01:09:03,907 --> 01:09:07,677
where he actually sits
in just a... a dark... uhh...

983
01:09:07,744 --> 01:09:11,815
It's very touching. He's sits
in a dark room, and he just...

984
01:09:11,881 --> 01:09:15,552
You just start to see
the-the tears and stuff.

985
01:09:15,619 --> 01:09:19,456
I mean, the man is completely, you
know, broken, and you feel it.

986
01:09:19,523 --> 01:09:22,003
You really feel it, and it's devastating.
It's a devastating...

987
01:09:24,361 --> 01:09:27,531
Is this a joke?

988
01:09:28,532 --> 01:09:30,767
N- No.
What do you mean?

989
01:09:33,503 --> 01:09:37,741
I mean...
I mean, is this a joke?

990
01:09:37,807 --> 01:09:42,312
- No, I saw it two nights ago.
- What's so funny, Jane?

991
01:09:42,379 --> 01:09:46,115
Oh, can you believe this guy?
I know, I...

992
01:09:46,182 --> 01:09:48,985
So sensitive...
So...

993
01:09:49,052 --> 01:09:52,989
So devastated when it comes to
some chubby French guy, but, oh!

994
01:09:53,056 --> 01:09:57,060
Stomp on somebody's heart in real life,
and where's his sorry-ass pity then, huh?

995
01:09:57,126 --> 01:10:00,029
Nowhere! Why?
Because he doesn't get it!

996
01:10:00,096 --> 01:10:02,432
He never gets it!

997
01:10:02,499 --> 01:10:04,568
Someone please explain it to me.

998
01:10:04,634 --> 01:10:09,138
Because I don't know
what you are talking about!

999
01:10:17,714 --> 01:10:20,550
Evelyn, is she free?
Yeah. She is.

1000
01:10:20,617 --> 01:10:22,419
Thanks.

1001
01:10:31,194 --> 01:10:34,998
I'm sorry, Diane. I... I don't
know where that came from.

1002
01:10:35,064 --> 01:10:38,668
Well, I do. I know exactly
where it came from.

1003
01:10:38,735 --> 01:10:40,570
You do?

1004
01:10:40,637 --> 01:10:43,607
Some guy crushed you
under his boot heel,

1005
01:10:43,673 --> 01:10:46,009
and you lashed out
at poor Ray as being...

1006
01:10:46,075 --> 01:10:48,312
representative of the prick
that did that to you.

1007
01:10:48,378 --> 01:10:52,849
I'm right, aren't I?
More or less.

1008
01:10:52,916 --> 01:10:54,718
Well, you can't do it, Jane.

1009
01:10:54,784 --> 01:10:57,587
- I don't care how much it hurts.
- I know.

1010
01:10:57,654 --> 01:10:59,654
No, you don't know. Now,
sit down and listen to me.

1011
01:11:05,495 --> 01:11:07,731
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.

1012
01:11:09,599 --> 01:11:13,503
About six months ago,
my boyfriend tried to leave me.

1013
01:11:13,570 --> 01:11:17,073
Well, he did.
He left.

1014
01:11:17,140 --> 01:11:22,612
And I was devastated. I was destroyed.
Did you see it?

1015
01:11:25,682 --> 01:11:29,519
No. I-I-I didn't. No. Right.

1016
01:11:29,586 --> 01:11:33,790
Do you know why?
Because if I fall apart,

1017
01:11:33,857 --> 01:11:36,025
everything around me
falls apart...

1018
01:11:36,092 --> 01:11:41,565
Everything that I have
worked my entire life for.

1019
01:11:41,631 --> 01:11:44,067
- Do you love him?
- Wh-Who?

1020
01:11:44,133 --> 01:11:48,705
- Him. The guy.
- I don't know.

1021
01:11:48,772 --> 01:11:52,376
Of course you do. Now, have
you talked to him lately?

1022
01:11:52,442 --> 01:11:56,079
No. No. Not ex...
Not exactly talked.

1023
01:11:56,145 --> 01:12:00,049
Do it. Do it.
Talk to him.

1024
01:12:02,419 --> 01:12:07,290
I used to feel that if I
kept my heart to myself,

1025
01:12:07,357 --> 01:12:12,028
If I never let him know how much I needed
him, that he would never leave me.

1026
01:12:12,095 --> 01:12:14,864
Well, guess what?
He did.

1027
01:12:14,931 --> 01:12:19,569
And I lived in a private,
pathetic puddle...

1028
01:12:19,636 --> 01:12:22,105
until I couldn't
stand it anymore,

1029
01:12:22,171 --> 01:12:25,174
And so you know what I did?
I showed up at his doorstep...

1030
01:12:25,241 --> 01:12:29,045
with two corned beef sandwiches
on rye, lightly toasted,

1031
01:12:29,112 --> 01:12:33,783
and I told him that
I was lost without him.

1032
01:12:33,850 --> 01:12:35,885
You said that?

1033
01:12:35,952 --> 01:12:40,123
Pretty progressive, huh?
And I'm happy. Go figure.

1034
01:12:40,189 --> 01:12:41,958
I never thought I'd be happy.

1035
01:12:47,531 --> 01:12:49,766
And you believe her?

1036
01:12:49,833 --> 01:12:52,836
This is true love? This is what
we all should be looking for?

1037
01:12:52,902 --> 01:12:55,472
That is the most tragic
thing I've ever heard.

1038
01:12:55,539 --> 01:13:00,209
We're talking about a woman whose boyfriend was
screwing you in order to get away from her.

1039
01:13:00,276 --> 01:13:02,311
And she's the authority
on romance?

1040
01:13:02,378 --> 01:13:05,281
The only reason she believes
that crap is because she has to.

1041
01:13:05,348 --> 01:13:07,751
She's an old cow.

1042
01:13:07,817 --> 01:13:11,988
Truth is all we need to do
is adjust our radar a bit.

1043
01:13:12,055 --> 01:13:14,958
You know, learn to be attracted to
men we're simply not attracted to.

1044
01:13:15,024 --> 01:13:18,194
Whoa. Hang on. What are
you talking about?

1045
01:13:18,261 --> 01:13:21,297
Well, for example, normally...

1046
01:13:21,364 --> 01:13:24,501
I might be attracted
to a guy like you.

1047
01:13:24,568 --> 01:13:28,472
But thanks to Dr. Charles, I've learned
to control my passion for testosterone,

1048
01:13:28,538 --> 01:13:30,574
and now I can proudly say...

1049
01:13:30,640 --> 01:13:35,044
that I no longer find you
in the least bit desirable.

1050
01:13:35,111 --> 01:13:38,014
Oh, gee.
That's swell.

1051
01:13:38,081 --> 01:13:40,183
I need a drink.

1052
01:13:42,018 --> 01:13:45,388
Does she have any idea
that she's completely insane?

1053
01:13:45,455 --> 01:13:49,893
No. She's right. Diane is an old cow.
He cannot go back to her.

1054
01:13:49,959 --> 01:13:52,428
Okay, that's it.

1055
01:13:52,496 --> 01:13:57,467
Jane, these are people,
not cows!

1056
01:14:08,077 --> 01:14:10,046
Hello.

1057
01:14:16,786 --> 01:14:18,888
I should have known
you would take his side.

1058
01:14:18,955 --> 01:14:22,492
This isn't about sides, Jane.
It's about dealing with reality.

1059
01:14:22,559 --> 01:14:25,328
And you need to get a grip.
Oh, that's rich...

1060
01:14:25,394 --> 01:14:28,765
coming from an emotional moron who's
whoring his way through Manhattan,

1061
01:14:28,832 --> 01:14:31,434
using women
like A.T.M. machines.

1062
01:14:31,501 --> 01:14:34,871
Oh, that's great. I get dumped,
sleep around, and I'm a moron.

1063
01:14:34,938 --> 01:14:37,240
You, you get dumped
and become the disciple...

1064
01:14:37,306 --> 01:14:40,243
of some crone-slash-quack
behavioral scientist...

1065
01:14:40,309 --> 01:14:43,279
who can't tell the difference between
quadrupeds and bipeds, and you're normal.

1066
01:14:43,346 --> 01:14:45,982
She is not a crone. And she is not a quack!
How do you know?

1067
01:14:46,049 --> 01:14:48,585
Who gives as shit?

1068
01:14:48,652 --> 01:14:52,321
You know, while you were out there buying
these theories about the horrors of men...

1069
01:14:52,388 --> 01:14:54,824
and why guys like Ray
won't ever come back,

1070
01:14:54,891 --> 01:14:57,226
deep down inside
you're hoping he would.

1071
01:14:57,293 --> 01:15:00,830
Men are evil. Men are scum. But please,
Ray, won't you make a liar out of me?

1072
01:15:00,897 --> 01:15:03,600
Well, you got
what you asked for, Jane.

1073
01:15:03,667 --> 01:15:06,570
He did go back. He just did
it with the wrong girl!

1074
01:15:09,105 --> 01:15:11,541
It's over!
Over.

1075
01:15:12,742 --> 01:15:15,478
Why can't you just let it go?
Because.

1076
01:15:15,545 --> 01:15:17,681
- Because why?
- Because I can't.

1077
01:15:17,747 --> 01:15:21,651
Why?
Because I was happy.

1078
01:15:21,718 --> 01:15:24,721
Because if this...
theory is wrong,

1079
01:15:24,788 --> 01:15:27,724
men don't leave all women,
Eddie, they leave me.

1080
01:15:35,464 --> 01:15:38,935
I know what
it does to you. I know.

1081
01:15:39,002 --> 01:15:42,471
Maybe that's why
we hold on as hard as we do.

1082
01:15:42,538 --> 01:15:47,343
We just can't believe that such a
miracle can ever happen to us twice.

1083
01:15:47,410 --> 01:15:52,215
And...

1084
01:15:52,281 --> 01:15:54,217
But it can.

1085
01:15:56,352 --> 01:15:59,923
Someday you'll find it again.

1086
01:15:59,989 --> 01:16:03,793
I promise you.
Look at me.

1087
01:16:03,860 --> 01:16:07,597
A mess.
I'm looking at you.

1088
01:16:10,066 --> 01:16:13,202
And you're beautiful.

1089
01:16:13,269 --> 01:16:17,273
Hey, you are beautiful.

1090
01:16:19,208 --> 01:16:24,180
- You're intelligent...
- and real.

1091
01:16:28,918 --> 01:16:32,088
And Ray is not the last man
you're ever gonna love.

1092
01:16:42,398 --> 01:16:45,735
I promise you he's not.

1093
01:16:48,104 --> 01:16:51,007
Shh. Shh...

1094
01:17:43,760 --> 01:17:46,863
Oh, my God.

1095
01:17:56,706 --> 01:18:00,977
Oh...

1096
01:18:18,194 --> 01:18:20,764
Mmm...

1097
01:18:28,071 --> 01:18:31,174
Hmm...

1098
01:18:31,240 --> 01:18:33,309
Hi.

1099
01:18:34,643 --> 01:18:36,612
Hi.

1100
01:18:36,679 --> 01:18:40,383
Uh... listen.

1101
01:18:43,386 --> 01:18:45,321
I...
No, no, no.

1102
01:18:45,388 --> 01:18:47,891
No. No.

1103
01:18:47,957 --> 01:18:50,794
No, you're not going
to analyze this one, Jane.

1104
01:18:50,860 --> 01:18:55,164
- I'm not?
- No. No.

1105
01:18:55,231 --> 01:18:59,335
You're so hell-bent on making sure things fit,
you miss out on all the fun when they don't.

1106
01:18:59,402 --> 01:19:01,304
Eh? Oh...
Well, I...

1107
01:19:01,370 --> 01:19:05,809
No? Right now you're trying
to rationalize last night.

1108
01:19:05,875 --> 01:19:08,444
Yeah? Worrying about
what might have happened.

1109
01:19:08,511 --> 01:19:11,280
Me, I'm just getting a kick
out of the fact that I, uh,

1110
01:19:11,347 --> 01:19:13,917
spent an entire night
with you in my arms,

1111
01:19:13,983 --> 01:19:15,985
and I didn't even cop a feel.

1112
01:19:21,157 --> 01:19:24,160
Well...

1113
01:19:24,227 --> 01:19:27,596
maybe one.

1114
01:19:31,067 --> 01:19:34,637
Whew!
What?

1115
01:19:34,703 --> 01:19:38,041
Well, I'm relieved.

1116
01:19:38,107 --> 01:19:41,845
I mean, for a second there, I...

1117
01:19:41,911 --> 01:19:47,183
I thought maybe you
thought last night was, um...

1118
01:19:47,250 --> 01:19:52,721
You know, or that
you would... think...

1119
01:19:52,788 --> 01:19:56,893
That would've really blown your Dr.
Charles out of the water, huh?

1120
01:19:58,527 --> 01:20:02,731
Temporarily maybe, but you would
have shown your spots eventually.

1121
01:20:02,798 --> 01:20:07,236
My spots. Oh, come on, Eddie.

1122
01:20:07,303 --> 01:20:10,506
Men never fail to do what's
in their nature to do.

1123
01:20:15,411 --> 01:20:18,014
And what is that, Jane?

1124
01:20:18,081 --> 01:20:22,085
Disappoint you?
Abandon you?

1125
01:20:22,151 --> 01:20:25,288
Hmm?

1126
01:20:25,354 --> 01:20:28,992
What's really behind
these theories, huh?

1127
01:20:29,058 --> 01:20:31,827
What are you hiding?

1128
01:20:31,895 --> 01:20:34,998
Nothing.

1129
01:20:38,001 --> 01:20:40,236
Sorry. What you see
is what you get.

1130
01:20:40,303 --> 01:20:43,572
Is it?

1131
01:20:46,709 --> 01:20:49,979
You know, this is not about my
nature, Jane. This is about yours.

1132
01:21:06,529 --> 01:21:08,764
Hello.
Janey?

1133
01:21:08,831 --> 01:21:11,067
Listen, Stephen.
Can I call y'all back?

1134
01:21:11,134 --> 01:21:15,371
Your sister's in the hospital.
We lost the baby, kiddo.

1135
01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:26,282
Hey, Janey.

1136
01:21:38,962 --> 01:21:42,031
Did you see Stephen?

1137
01:21:42,098 --> 01:21:44,233
I saw him in the hallway...

1138
01:21:44,300 --> 01:21:46,235
getting water.
Getting ice.

1139
01:21:46,302 --> 01:21:50,006
Good luck.
God love him.

1140
01:21:50,073 --> 01:21:53,509
They break so easily,
don't they?

1141
01:22:01,784 --> 01:22:04,487
Last weekend,
he woke up in a panic.

1142
01:22:04,553 --> 01:22:08,791
He said that he had to go
shopping for the baby.

1143
01:22:08,857 --> 01:22:12,528
You know how anal he is. I thought
he was gonna come back with...

1144
01:22:12,595 --> 01:22:16,499
thermometers and baby
blankets and safety gates.

1145
01:22:16,565 --> 01:22:21,637
When he walked in the door, all he
had was this little, tiny bag...

1146
01:22:21,704 --> 01:22:26,375
and inside was this...

1147
01:22:26,442 --> 01:22:28,944
This perfect little
baseball mitt.

1148
01:22:38,654 --> 01:22:42,825
He got it in his head that
it was going to be a boy.

1149
01:22:42,891 --> 01:22:45,828
Janey.

1150
01:22:53,936 --> 01:22:56,405
Okay, I've got ice.

1151
01:22:56,472 --> 01:23:01,144
I've got blankets.
I've got magazines.

1152
01:23:08,184 --> 01:23:12,155
Look at my wife.

1153
01:23:14,990 --> 01:23:18,761
Have you ever seen
anyone more beautiful?

1154
01:23:18,827 --> 01:23:22,498
You're nuts.

1155
01:23:53,996 --> 01:23:56,165
Diane, it's Jane.

1156
01:23:56,232 --> 01:24:01,036
I found Dr. Charles,

1157
01:24:05,974 --> 01:24:09,845
Okay, is everybody ready
to have a good time?

1158
01:24:09,912 --> 01:24:12,552
Now, come on. You're going to have
to do a lot better than that.

1159
01:24:14,583 --> 01:24:16,919
Okay, let me explain how everything
on the show's gonna work.

1160
01:24:16,985 --> 01:24:20,289
It's a really informal show... Yo, Ray!
Do we have her on the line yet?

1161
01:24:20,356 --> 01:24:24,127
Two minutes. The magazine's
putting her through.

1162
01:24:24,193 --> 01:24:27,496
All right!
Two minutes.

1163
01:24:27,563 --> 01:24:31,200
Diane, two minutes. So,
Diane's going to come out.

1164
01:24:31,267 --> 01:24:33,869
The first guest is going to come.
We have about a 15-minute segment.

1165
01:24:33,936 --> 01:24:37,106
Our first interview is gonna
be on the telephone, okay?

1166
01:24:37,173 --> 01:24:39,142
Dr. Marie Charles.

1167
01:24:50,719 --> 01:24:54,923
I'm going to ask you one more time. Are
you 100% sure you want to do this?

1168
01:24:54,990 --> 01:24:57,293
I'm sure.
I'm sorry to put you in this position.

1169
01:24:57,360 --> 01:24:59,695
Don't worry about me. I just want to
make sure you haven't lost your mind.

1170
01:24:59,762 --> 01:25:02,798
Maybe I have.
Here she is, Ray.

1171
01:25:02,865 --> 01:25:07,436
Dr. Charles.

1172
01:25:11,540 --> 01:25:15,511
Welcome. Rarely have I
had the honor to host...

1173
01:25:15,578 --> 01:25:17,980
such a distinguished
and extraordinary guest.

1174
01:25:18,046 --> 01:25:22,185
Today, Dr. Marie Charles
speaks out for the first time...

1175
01:25:22,251 --> 01:25:24,587
since the publication
of her searing article...

1176
01:25:24,653 --> 01:25:26,889
Network says we've already
had 20,000 hits on the web site.

1177
01:25:26,955 --> 01:25:30,526
- Holy cow.
- The reclusive Dr. Charles...

1178
01:25:30,593 --> 01:25:34,597
has agreed to an exclusive,
live telephone interview.

1179
01:25:34,663 --> 01:25:37,533
And I consider it a rare gift...

1180
01:25:37,600 --> 01:25:42,171
from someone whose work has meant
a tremendous amount in my life,

1181
01:25:42,238 --> 01:25:45,274
as I'm sure yours.

1182
01:25:45,341 --> 01:25:48,511
Dr. Marie Charles.

1183
01:25:48,577 --> 01:25:50,713
Hello, Dr. Charles.
Are you there?

1184
01:25:50,779 --> 01:25:54,817
Hello, Dr. Charles.
Can you hear me?

1185
01:25:54,883 --> 01:25:56,719
I'm getting nothing.

1186
01:25:59,722 --> 01:26:01,624
Where the hell is she? Where's the feed?
Excuse me.

1187
01:26:01,690 --> 01:26:04,092
We seem to be having
some technical difficulties.

1188
01:26:04,159 --> 01:26:06,795
If you'll just bear with us,
I'm sure we'll get it repaired.

1189
01:26:09,498 --> 01:26:11,734
Tell them to patch it
through on the other line.

1190
01:26:11,800 --> 01:26:13,936
We can't. We only have one
dedicated line. Shit!

1191
01:26:18,574 --> 01:26:20,509
Okay, take us to commercial.

1192
01:26:20,576 --> 01:26:22,845
Uh, she's here.
She wants to go on.

1193
01:26:23,946 --> 01:26:26,582
Ho-Hold that.
Hold that. Hold that.

1194
01:26:26,649 --> 01:26:29,452
- She's here.
- Well, ladies and gentlemen,

1195
01:26:29,518 --> 01:26:32,054
it seems that the reason we've
been unable to get through...

1196
01:26:32,120 --> 01:26:33,989
to Dr. Charles
telephonically...

1197
01:26:34,056 --> 01:26:36,592
is because at this moment she
is right here in our studio,

1198
01:26:36,659 --> 01:26:39,462
having decided to do the
interview in person after all.

1199
01:26:39,528 --> 01:26:42,130
- Holy shit.
- So let's not waste any more time.

1200
01:26:42,197 --> 01:26:45,234
Join me in welcoming
Dr. Marie Charles!

1201
01:26:49,171 --> 01:26:52,475
Makeup?
Stop. Stop.

1202
01:26:52,541 --> 01:26:54,843
Show yourself,
Dr. Charles.

1203
01:26:57,045 --> 01:27:00,449
Wake up!

1204
01:27:06,289 --> 01:27:08,824
Jane, what's going on?
Where's Dr. Charles?

1205
01:27:11,894 --> 01:27:14,263
There is no Dr. Charles.

1206
01:27:14,330 --> 01:27:16,632
There never was.

1207
01:27:18,901 --> 01:27:23,739
I invented her, Diane.

1208
01:27:23,806 --> 01:27:27,810
You... I invented her because...

1209
01:27:27,876 --> 01:27:32,415
I had something to say,
and... somehow...

1210
01:27:32,481 --> 01:27:39,322
I thought if... if-if-if it were
coming from a 65-year-old Ph. D.,

1211
01:27:39,388 --> 01:27:41,557
that you would
see it the way I had...

1212
01:27:41,624 --> 01:27:47,463
As a truth, as a legitimate,
scientific truth.

1213
01:27:47,530 --> 01:27:51,967
But it isn't.
It's completely ridiculous.

1214
01:27:52,034 --> 01:27:56,772
And...

1215
01:27:56,839 --> 01:27:59,308
I lied to you all,
and I lied to myself.

1216
01:27:59,375 --> 01:28:03,746
Because
the real truth is that...

1217
01:28:07,650 --> 01:28:10,753
I was heartbroken...
and lost.

1218
01:28:10,819 --> 01:28:14,590
You know, and I just wanted
to understand it somehow.

1219
01:28:14,657 --> 01:28:19,495
I wanted it to be...
about them.

1220
01:28:19,562 --> 01:28:22,831
So everything I thought I had figured
out was completely upside-down.

1221
01:28:22,898 --> 01:28:25,368
I thought this bull had
gone on to another new cow,

1222
01:28:25,434 --> 01:28:28,236
when, in fact, she was an old cow
who had become a new cow again.

1223
01:28:28,303 --> 01:28:31,106
I mean, what was
I talking about?

1224
01:28:31,173 --> 01:28:34,977
I was comparing men to animals,

1225
01:28:35,043 --> 01:28:38,447
which... okay, let's face it...
Sometimes they are.

1226
01:28:40,583 --> 01:28:44,186
But sometimes they are not.

1227
01:28:44,252 --> 01:28:48,090
Sometimes
you open the barn door,

1228
01:28:48,156 --> 01:28:50,092
or the hospital room door...

1229
01:28:50,158 --> 01:28:54,930
or the bedroom door and...

1230
01:28:54,997 --> 01:28:58,367
you find the real thing.

1231
01:28:58,434 --> 01:29:02,170
You find a guy who...

1232
01:29:02,237 --> 01:29:05,374
can sit with you when you
are at your absolute worst,

1233
01:29:05,441 --> 01:29:08,611
when you are knee-deep in Kleenex, and
your face looks like a punching bag,

1234
01:29:08,677 --> 01:29:11,246
and you are a complete
and total mess.

1235
01:29:11,313 --> 01:29:14,650
And he...

1236
01:29:14,717 --> 01:29:17,886
can still look at you
and tell you...

1237
01:29:17,953 --> 01:29:22,891
that Ray is not the last man
you're ever going to love.

1238
01:29:38,106 --> 01:29:42,445
- Eddie!
- Oh, my God.

1239
01:29:47,916 --> 01:29:51,019
Hey, are you all right?

1240
01:29:51,086 --> 01:29:54,423
All right. There you go.
Late edition.

1241
01:30:18,280 --> 01:30:20,683
Eddie!

1242
01:30:20,749 --> 01:30:22,249
Oh, Eddie!

1243
01:30:37,400 --> 01:30:39,502
Eddie! Eddie!

1244
01:30:39,568 --> 01:30:44,006
Stop. Stop.

1245
01:30:46,475 --> 01:30:48,477
Whew.

1246
01:30:54,883 --> 01:30:57,152
So, what you see
is what you get, huh?

1247
01:30:59,722 --> 01:31:03,492
Minus a few gray hairs
and a Ph. D., yeah.

1248
01:31:06,662 --> 01:31:09,498
I'm really sorry, Eddie.

1249
01:31:11,800 --> 01:31:14,336
You should have told me.

1250
01:31:14,402 --> 01:31:16,939
I should have told you
a lot of things.

1251
01:31:18,073 --> 01:31:19,908
You were right.

1252
01:31:21,844 --> 01:31:24,079
It was about my nature.

1253
01:31:25,280 --> 01:31:28,917
Out of all the things
you said to me that night,

1254
01:31:28,984 --> 01:31:32,420
what scared me the most is...

1255
01:31:32,487 --> 01:31:35,591
that I would find it again.

1256
01:31:35,658 --> 01:31:39,094
Because I have.

1257
01:31:44,499 --> 01:31:48,571
Would you please say something?

1258
01:31:51,940 --> 01:31:54,109
No.

1259
01:32:14,697 --> 01:32:17,933
So you're saying?

1260
01:32:19,434 --> 01:32:22,671
What do we got to lose?

1261
01:32:22,738 --> 01:32:26,441
Everything?
Exactly.