1 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,740 Right! Now, 2 00:00:21,830 --> 00:00:26,400 this is Mr Bennett, and he's going to be taking the boys for football. 3 00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:29,860 Mr Bennett foolishly wants to be a teacher. 4 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,820 - Look at the fucking shell suit, man. - Fucking wanker. 5 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,910 - I don't believe it. - Fucking, yeah. 6 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,780 CHAUHAN: ...the sun shines out of his proverbial. 7 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,740 What you fucking looking at? 8 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:43,450 Less fucking and more attention, please. 9 00:00:44,340 --> 00:00:46,790 Something you might have said to your boyfriend, that, Gina. 10 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,260 (ALL SNICKERING) 11 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,370 Right, girls onto the other pitch with me. Come on. 12 00:00:53,010 --> 00:00:54,830 (BLOWING WHISTLE) 13 00:00:56,550 --> 00:00:59,500 - You, boy. Why aren't you playing? - Forgot my kit. 14 00:00:59,590 --> 00:01:02,260 Don't make him play, sir. He's shit. 15 00:01:03,140 --> 00:01:05,460 Balls, Mr Bennett! 16 00:01:05,970 --> 00:01:09,040 Right. Look, I want you joining in, all right? 17 00:01:09,140 --> 00:01:11,800 - You ain't playing, Gangel. - Fuck off, McBride. 18 00:01:12,850 --> 00:01:14,420 - Guys! - Oh, come on. 19 00:01:14,510 --> 00:01:16,340 Pass it round. Keep passing it. 20 00:01:16,430 --> 00:01:18,340 Ste! Come on. 21 00:01:19,060 --> 00:01:20,330 Lovely. 22 00:01:21,890 --> 00:01:23,300 Go get it. 23 00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:28,130 Oi! What's his name? 24 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,510 Hugh, sir. Hugh Janus. 25 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,010 Hugh Janus, get back here now! 26 00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:35,970 BENNETT: Hugh Janus! 27 00:01:36,060 --> 00:01:38,010 Janus, are you deaf? 28 00:03:30,980 --> 00:03:32,380 All right, Sandra? 29 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,720 Slag. 30 00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:41,510 Sweet, I must go. 31 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:45,560 (DOOR CLOSING) 32 00:03:59,450 --> 00:04:02,230 What happened? School burnt down, did it? 33 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:03,560 Yeah. 34 00:04:03,950 --> 00:04:07,100 What was it this time? IRA bomb? 35 00:04:07,490 --> 00:04:09,400 Fundamentalist Muslim pyromaniacs. 36 00:04:09,490 --> 00:04:12,560 Oh, funny that. Looked all right when I walked past it. 37 00:04:12,660 --> 00:04:14,440 Yeah. "Funny that." 38 00:04:14,660 --> 00:04:17,650 Look, you're not too old to be taken over me knee, young man. Do you hear me? 39 00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:19,120 Whole of bloody Thamesmead can hear you. 40 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,770 Yeah, well, you've gotta start doing your games. 41 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:23,320 - Why? - 'Cause you have, that's why. 42 00:04:23,410 --> 00:04:24,600 - Who says? - I says. 43 00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:26,240 - I hate football. - You never used to. 44 00:04:26,330 --> 00:04:27,950 Well, I do now! 45 00:04:30,330 --> 00:04:32,890 You know what I'm gonna do now, don't you? 46 00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:35,530 Juggle with them? 47 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:57,080 SANDRA: You know what they're gonna do, don't you? They'll put you into care. 48 00:04:57,170 --> 00:05:01,000 They'll say, "She's an unfit mother, bang him into one of them homes. 49 00:05:01,090 --> 00:05:03,540 "'Cause, I mean, she can't even get him to do his PE." 50 00:05:03,630 --> 00:05:04,750 That's what they're gonna do. 51 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:08,700 She's throwing away everything I was saving for me kids. Books, toys. 52 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,370 - I don't want kids. - Kids are cunts. 53 00:05:12,470 --> 00:05:14,790 Anyone been calling you names? 54 00:05:14,890 --> 00:05:17,250 - Like what? - I dunno. 55 00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:18,720 - Stumpy? - No. 56 00:05:18,810 --> 00:05:20,340 - I told you it'd stop. - I know. 57 00:05:20,430 --> 00:05:21,670 I told you you'd grow, 58 00:05:21,770 --> 00:05:23,800 but you don't take the blindest bit of notice of me, do you? 59 00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,630 - Yes, I do. - Oh, yeah? 60 00:05:25,730 --> 00:05:29,340 How comes every Wednesday afternoon without fail you're standing there? 61 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:32,340 - I've told you. - Oh, have you? 62 00:05:33,980 --> 00:05:38,550 # Call the village band out Bid me goodbye # 63 00:05:38,650 --> 00:05:40,590 - What you doing? - Singing. 64 00:05:40,690 --> 00:05:43,720 - What? - I'm just a girl who can't say no. 65 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,430 Heard of Mama Cass? 66 00:05:47,820 --> 00:05:49,090 No, sing it. 67 00:05:49,190 --> 00:05:51,270 LEAH: What? JAMIE: Go on. 68 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:54,430 - No way. - I won't laugh. 69 00:05:54,940 --> 00:05:56,100 (CLEARING THROAT) 70 00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:01,940 # Call the village band out Bid me goodbye 71 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:07,560 # Everybody stand outside and cry 72 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:14,190 # Never thought so many Thought me so dear 73 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:19,400 # I'd be happy any place but here 74 00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:24,690 # One way ticket take me anywhere 75 00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:31,150 # Northbound, southbound, I don't even care 76 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:36,490 # I know the grass is greener there # 77 00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:43,120 Keep going. 78 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:45,990 You might persuade him to get back to school. 79 00:06:46,090 --> 00:06:47,740 Libs. 80 00:06:48,670 --> 00:06:50,830 - That's not natural, is it? - What ain't? 81 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,480 A girl her age into Mama Cass. 82 00:06:53,590 --> 00:06:55,370 She's got a really beautiful voice. 83 00:06:55,460 --> 00:06:56,870 And what's the matter with Madonna? 84 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,040 - She's a slag. - Hypocrite. 85 00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,500 - All right, Ste? - Ste, all right? 86 00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:07,620 You two been bunking off together, have you? 87 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,330 Not together, no. 88 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:10,960 You all right, Mrs Gangel? 89 00:07:11,050 --> 00:07:13,590 Well, it's nice to see someone can stay at school for the full day. 90 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:14,840 We done football today. 91 00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:16,500 Wrong season for football, innit? 92 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:20,000 - Student teacher. - Ah, is that the problem? 93 00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:22,210 - No. - Well, what is, then? 94 00:07:23,390 --> 00:07:25,210 - I'd best get in. - Aw, Ste. 95 00:07:25,770 --> 00:07:27,010 I'm doing the tea. 96 00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,550 Stick it on, then come back out here. 97 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,720 It's bubble and squeak, Leah. You can't leave bubble and squeak. 98 00:07:30,810 --> 00:07:32,680 You gotta watch it like a hawk. 99 00:07:32,770 --> 00:07:34,680 Don't that make you fart? Bubble and squeak? 100 00:07:34,770 --> 00:07:36,470 Only if you've got a fat arse. 101 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:38,760 There was a phone-in this morning on Richard & Judy 102 00:07:38,850 --> 00:07:41,970 about delinquent children. I should've rang in. 103 00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:44,100 - I'm going in. - See you, Ste. 104 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,970 SANDRA: Whose fault is it, then, eh? LEAH: The system. 105 00:07:47,110 --> 00:07:51,260 I am a victim of the education... Thingy-ma-bob. 106 00:07:51,730 --> 00:07:52,850 Wasteland. 107 00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:55,690 You're a victim of your own big mouth, more like. 108 00:07:55,780 --> 00:07:58,810 Leah, luv, get in here and peel some taters for tea, will you? 109 00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:00,640 Ah, kiss my arse. 110 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,390 You, indoors. She's a bad influence. 111 00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:06,690 She's a bad influence. 112 00:08:06,780 --> 00:08:09,650 Right, you don't peel no taters, you don't get no tea. 113 00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:10,900 Jamie! 114 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,400 Rainbow's gone anyway. 115 00:08:12,490 --> 00:08:13,610 (PHONE RINGING) 116 00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:14,770 That'll be the phone. 117 00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:18,070 Well, it wouldn't be the bloody Hoover bag, would it? 118 00:08:26,330 --> 00:08:29,820 I know, Miss Chauhan. But, you see, Miss Chauhan... 119 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:32,990 He's got a funny tummy, you know. 120 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:38,070 I mean, he really wanted to do football today, but he got taken short, see. 121 00:08:38,330 --> 00:08:43,700 Mmm. And when he got to the boy's loos, they were all locked up, inexplicably. 122 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,160 So, he had a little accident, you know. 123 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:52,160 Oh, yeah. I couldn't agree with you more, Miss Chauhan. 124 00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:53,740 I mean, when I was at school 125 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:57,330 I was reserve captain for the Under-16s netball team, 126 00:08:57,420 --> 00:09:01,960 so I can appreciate the, like, value of exercise and sport. 127 00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:06,670 I mean, I'd hate you to think this was any reflection on me meself. 128 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:09,580 ANNOUNCER ON RADIO: It's slow northbound 129 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,750 due to an over-height vehicle stuck in the entrance, 130 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,600 and on Shooters Hill the lights are out next to the police station. 131 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:18,090 And on the A2, ongoing roadworks are causing delays 132 00:09:18,180 --> 00:09:20,460 on the contraflow southbound through Bexleyheath. 133 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,920 Now the weather for this area. 134 00:09:23,010 --> 00:09:26,510 Overnight, it will be humid, with a low of 16 degrees centigrade. 135 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,670 Tomorrow will be dry, hot and sunny, 136 00:09:28,770 --> 00:09:31,380 with a maximum temperature of 28 degrees. 137 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,220 This is RTN. 138 00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:39,590 I'm going to work. 139 00:09:39,690 --> 00:09:41,010 There's a cheese salad in the fridge, 140 00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:43,010 and the one with the beetroot's for Tony. 141 00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:44,850 I don't need a babysitter. 142 00:09:44,940 --> 00:09:47,140 No. I know what you need. 143 00:09:48,940 --> 00:09:50,510 Shooting. 144 00:09:50,610 --> 00:09:52,510 - I heard that. - Yeah, well... 145 00:09:52,610 --> 00:09:56,140 You could hear a zit burst in Australia, you, couldn't you? 146 00:09:56,230 --> 00:09:58,770 If you shot me, you'd have to go to prison and live off gruel. 147 00:09:58,860 --> 00:10:00,480 Don't tempt me. 148 00:10:00,780 --> 00:10:04,600 I'll be checking your homework when I get back. Be warned. 149 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,230 (ONE WAY TICKET BLARING) 150 00:10:34,620 --> 00:10:36,110 Oi, Rose! 151 00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:38,940 Attaboy, Ste. 152 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,610 Get her to turn it down, will you? 153 00:10:40,710 --> 00:10:41,900 What do you think I'm trying to do? 154 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,660 Me old man's trying to get some kip in there! 155 00:10:43,750 --> 00:10:44,870 And I'm trying to make chips! 156 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,660 She's only gone and locked herself in her bloody room, ain't she? 157 00:10:47,750 --> 00:10:50,530 Leah! I'm on tablets, you know. 158 00:10:50,630 --> 00:10:52,160 Can I get in and try? 159 00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:53,530 I give up. 160 00:10:53,630 --> 00:10:55,620 STE: Leah! Leah! 161 00:10:55,710 --> 00:10:57,290 LEAH: This is my idol! 162 00:10:57,380 --> 00:11:01,370 Leah, spare some thought for all the nice people who live round here. 163 00:11:01,470 --> 00:11:03,540 Some of them don't like Mama Cass, you know. 164 00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:06,500 LEAH: Well, they should! STE: Leah, please! 165 00:11:06,590 --> 00:11:11,330 ROSE: Oh, I suppose I should be glad it's not techno, acidic, 166 00:11:11,430 --> 00:11:14,830 housey housey, pop trash. 167 00:11:14,930 --> 00:11:16,170 Leah! 168 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,790 What's all the bloody noise? 169 00:11:17,890 --> 00:11:19,880 It's her. She can't control her kids. 170 00:11:19,970 --> 00:11:21,350 I've only got the one, you know. 171 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:22,550 Just as bloody well. 172 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,120 Rose, turn that bloody racket down, will you? 173 00:11:25,220 --> 00:11:27,420 Do you think I'm enjoying this? 174 00:11:28,770 --> 00:11:29,950 Leah! 175 00:11:30,060 --> 00:11:32,590 (ONE WAY TICKET CONTINUES BLARING) 176 00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:37,050 Oi! Mush! 177 00:11:37,810 --> 00:11:39,720 LEAH: Is that Trevor? 178 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:56,680 You only had to ask, Trevor. You know I'd do anything for you. 179 00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:58,600 Or to you. 180 00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:00,420 (SCOFFS) 181 00:12:00,780 --> 00:12:03,060 I wouldn't touch it with his. 182 00:12:04,030 --> 00:12:05,560 See you later! 183 00:12:17,950 --> 00:12:19,730 Thank you, Trevor. 184 00:12:33,910 --> 00:12:36,200 Trevor! Trevor! 185 00:12:45,710 --> 00:12:48,380 Your mum told me straight, you know. 186 00:12:48,670 --> 00:12:50,080 Problems. 187 00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,240 (CHUCKLES) Been there. 188 00:12:53,630 --> 00:12:57,950 Walking across the park, game going on, my heart, you know, races. 189 00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:01,040 Scared, Jamie. 190 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:05,800 Scared of the ball coming, you know, near me. 191 00:13:07,630 --> 00:13:10,250 Hey, we can fight this one together. 192 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,670 Do you fancy a knockabout? 193 00:13:14,140 --> 00:13:17,330 No, me neither. But some time, yeah? 194 00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:35,420 It looks like fried shite. 195 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,380 Trevor, make us a sandwich. 196 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,550 - But he made it! - Trevor! 197 00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:47,970 Fucking hell. 198 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,230 I can't eat all that. 199 00:14:38,540 --> 00:14:39,810 (CLICKS TONGUE) 200 00:14:57,050 --> 00:14:59,080 Where'd you meet my mum? 201 00:14:59,170 --> 00:15:00,620 Planet Earth. 202 00:15:00,710 --> 00:15:01,950 Where? 203 00:15:02,050 --> 00:15:05,830 Oh, you know, out and about, here and there. 204 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:08,410 What's a place? 205 00:15:09,550 --> 00:15:14,890 A place is just somewhere where, you know, shit happens. 206 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:17,460 Yeah, but where? 207 00:15:18,140 --> 00:15:19,460 Gateways. 208 00:15:22,430 --> 00:15:24,130 She turn you on? 209 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,840 - Sure. - She's 35. 210 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:31,010 What's age? Age is just... 211 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,760 Just a number. You know? 212 00:15:35,140 --> 00:15:37,340 Mum said you was a painter. 213 00:15:37,850 --> 00:15:41,340 I know why she chose you. Needs the lounge done. 214 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,220 Don't like the colour. 215 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:45,390 Only had it painted last year. 216 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:49,180 Like that, my mum, goes off things fast. 217 00:15:49,310 --> 00:15:51,180 (CHUCKLING) 218 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:55,100 She might go off you. Won't be laughing then, will you? 219 00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:01,470 Is that a spliff? 220 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,850 Well, give us some. 221 00:16:12,610 --> 00:16:14,190 - Hey. - What? 222 00:16:15,070 --> 00:16:17,480 Your mum's gonna be all right. 223 00:16:24,870 --> 00:16:26,690 (SOFT JAZZ PLAYING) 224 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,830 Dry martini and lemonade, please. 225 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:55,830 Pint of Pilsner. 226 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,910 Lou, who served her? 227 00:16:59,590 --> 00:17:01,370 LOUISE: I don't know. 228 00:17:05,510 --> 00:17:08,830 There's no alcohol in it. What's this? Supposed to be a night out, isn't it? 229 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:11,290 You, out! You're under-age. 230 00:17:11,380 --> 00:17:12,760 I'm only drinking Coke. 231 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,410 You'll be drinking blood if I slap your face. Now move it. 232 00:17:15,510 --> 00:17:17,630 Oh, you're so hard. 233 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,460 Was that a threat? 234 00:17:19,890 --> 00:17:22,370 Yeah, and here's another. 235 00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:24,920 Get out before I call your childminder. 236 00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:27,380 Come on, Slasher. I can't be arsed. 237 00:17:27,470 --> 00:17:30,630 Slasher? What'd you slash? Crepe paper? 238 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,460 He's incontinent. 239 00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:34,380 Sandra! 240 00:17:37,430 --> 00:17:39,380 Is Louise taking care of you, Mr Barr? 241 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,050 Of course. 242 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:42,880 A word. 243 00:17:51,110 --> 00:17:54,640 Jamie, how old are you? 244 00:17:55,650 --> 00:17:58,130 Old enough. How old are you? 245 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:02,930 Twenty-seven. Not old enough to be your dad, right? 246 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:04,720 What? 247 00:18:05,610 --> 00:18:06,880 Sure. 248 00:18:07,860 --> 00:18:09,020 What? 249 00:18:09,650 --> 00:18:13,270 It's just shit, isn't it? 250 00:18:14,910 --> 00:18:16,230 What? 251 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,990 The whole concept. 252 00:18:20,660 --> 00:18:21,930 Yeah. 253 00:18:22,570 --> 00:18:28,110 Anyway, I think we should just, like, move towards getting away from all that. 254 00:18:28,870 --> 00:18:30,110 Right? 255 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,170 (GROANING) 256 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,920 Please, Trevor, I'm sorry. 257 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:27,040 # How'd you like to have fun, fun, fun? 258 00:19:27,140 --> 00:19:28,300 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 259 00:19:28,390 --> 00:19:31,170 # How's about a few laughs? 260 00:19:31,270 --> 00:19:33,710 # I can show you a good time # 261 00:19:33,970 --> 00:19:38,090 You'll breeze it, princess. Unless you really balls it up, the job's yours. 262 00:19:38,180 --> 00:19:40,970 What sort of questions will they ask? 263 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:46,010 You're interviewing for a new barmaid. You got three birds up for the one job. 264 00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:49,640 You say, "If you find a fiver on the floor at the end of the night, 265 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:50,890 "what do you do with it?" 266 00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:52,640 First bird goes, "I'd hang onto it, 267 00:19:52,730 --> 00:19:55,210 "ask round the next night to see if anyone's lost one." 268 00:19:55,310 --> 00:19:57,930 Second bird goes, "I'd put it in the till." 269 00:19:58,020 --> 00:20:01,680 Third bird goes, "I'd pocket it. Finders keepers." 270 00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:04,520 Who do you give the job to? 271 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,770 The one with the biggest tits. 272 00:20:08,860 --> 00:20:10,430 (LAUGHING) 273 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:17,900 # Spend a little time with me 274 00:20:18,410 --> 00:20:20,230 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 275 00:20:20,910 --> 00:20:23,060 # Me # 276 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,020 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 277 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,190 I'd have me own flat. 278 00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:34,100 I'd be down Stringfellows every night. 279 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,030 I'd get meself a big drug problem. 280 00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:37,570 (CHUCKLING) 281 00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:41,810 I'd have me own miniature poodle. 282 00:20:42,330 --> 00:20:46,190 And I'd get meself a makeover. You could do all that if you had your own pub. 283 00:20:46,290 --> 00:20:47,990 I haven't had the interview yet. 284 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,950 One of these days I'm going to be dripping in money, I am. 285 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:52,490 Right, this is me. See you tomorrow, babes. 286 00:20:52,580 --> 00:20:54,240 See you, love. 287 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,110 Ste? 288 00:21:11,220 --> 00:21:12,590 (SNIFFLES) 289 00:21:27,850 --> 00:21:29,120 Ste? 290 00:21:34,020 --> 00:21:36,130 I'm not going back there. 291 00:21:41,180 --> 00:21:42,720 I know, love. 292 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,140 (CRYING) 293 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,930 (DOOR OPENING) 294 00:22:05,610 --> 00:22:07,390 Tony, make him a sandwich. 295 00:22:07,780 --> 00:22:08,850 What? 296 00:22:08,940 --> 00:22:10,130 Tony. 297 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,690 What's it to be? Pastrami and fettuccine on rye? 298 00:22:14,780 --> 00:22:17,530 Tony, just make him a sandwich, please. 299 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,770 You'll have to top and tail with Jamie, I'm afraid. 300 00:22:32,330 --> 00:22:33,730 (KNOCKING) 301 00:22:35,950 --> 00:22:38,570 Ronnie! Trevor! It's me, Sandra! 302 00:22:43,790 --> 00:22:46,740 Your little Steven's round at our place tonight. 303 00:22:46,830 --> 00:22:50,200 I've every mind to report you, Ronnie! Are you listening to me? 304 00:22:50,290 --> 00:22:52,620 It's Sandra here, and I'm not happy! 305 00:22:52,710 --> 00:22:55,240 RONNIE: Fuck off, you meddling cunt! 306 00:22:55,330 --> 00:22:57,410 This has got to stop! 307 00:23:03,130 --> 00:23:05,040 What are you reading, then? 308 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:06,950 It's my mum's. 309 00:23:07,050 --> 00:23:08,750 Oh, yeah? I've seen that in the shop. 310 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:10,450 - Hello! - Hello! 311 00:23:15,300 --> 00:23:16,370 What bit you reading? 312 00:23:16,470 --> 00:23:18,080 It's about Sally from Coronation Street. 313 00:23:18,180 --> 00:23:19,290 What, that blonde one? 314 00:23:19,380 --> 00:23:20,760 Yeah. Says her real name's Sally and all. 315 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:22,250 What, in real life as well as on the telly? 316 00:23:22,340 --> 00:23:24,420 Yeah. I hate that name. 317 00:23:31,100 --> 00:23:33,710 Do you always wear glasses when you read? 318 00:23:33,810 --> 00:23:36,130 - I'm supposed to. - You don't in school. 319 00:23:36,220 --> 00:23:38,170 - It's hardly fetching, is it? - Nah, it looks all right. 320 00:23:38,270 --> 00:23:40,590 - Yeah? - Yeah, I'm telling you. 321 00:23:43,350 --> 00:23:46,100 - So, how's your sandwich? - Cheese and salad. Bang-on food. 322 00:23:46,190 --> 00:23:47,300 Good for your sports, that. 323 00:23:47,390 --> 00:23:49,260 That's right. Good for your spots and all. 324 00:23:49,350 --> 00:23:51,830 - You haven't got any spots. - Yours are cleaning up. 325 00:23:51,940 --> 00:23:53,310 Cheers. 326 00:23:56,980 --> 00:23:58,970 Do you fancy that Sally? 327 00:23:59,860 --> 00:24:02,220 Not really. Do you? 328 00:24:03,230 --> 00:24:05,770 Haven't given it much thought, really. 329 00:24:07,150 --> 00:24:08,530 Do you fancy her next door? 330 00:24:08,610 --> 00:24:10,730 - Fancy Leah? - She fancies you. 331 00:24:10,820 --> 00:24:12,350 - Don't. - I'm only saying. 332 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:13,680 Jamie. 333 00:24:30,330 --> 00:24:32,110 You going to sleep? 334 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,480 - Yeah, I'm knackered. - I'll turn the light off. 335 00:25:10,420 --> 00:25:13,460 - Ste? - Mmm-hmm? 336 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,960 - You all right? - Yeah. 337 00:25:18,340 --> 00:25:19,790 Right. 338 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:26,960 Ste? 339 00:25:27,970 --> 00:25:30,210 - What? - Night. 340 00:25:32,140 --> 00:25:33,630 Night, Jamie. 341 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,140 (MAN WHISTLING) 342 00:26:06,110 --> 00:26:08,930 The second applicant says, "I'd put it in the till." 343 00:26:09,030 --> 00:26:12,270 The third applicant says, "I'd keep it for myself. 344 00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:14,100 "Finders keepers." 345 00:26:14,530 --> 00:26:16,980 To whom would you offer the job? 346 00:26:17,570 --> 00:26:20,980 Well, it's obvious, innit? The bird with the biggest tits. 347 00:26:21,070 --> 00:26:22,480 (CHUCKLING) 348 00:26:29,830 --> 00:26:34,570 Though seriously, I'd have to say I'd be more keen on the third applicant. 349 00:26:34,660 --> 00:26:37,440 At least I'd know where I stood with her. 350 00:26:38,830 --> 00:26:40,650 You have children, Mrs Gangel? 351 00:26:40,750 --> 00:26:44,570 That's an easy one. A son. Jamie. He's ever so nice. 352 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,450 I really fucked that up, didn't I? 353 00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:54,360 You'll hear soon, princess. 354 00:27:32,430 --> 00:27:33,880 Yo. 355 00:27:41,430 --> 00:27:42,810 Pervert. 356 00:27:44,230 --> 00:27:45,470 Sorry? 357 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:52,630 I think you'll find the word "pervert" is a serious no-no. 358 00:27:53,690 --> 00:27:57,840 Anyone who goes out with that old slapper has to be a pervert. 359 00:27:58,270 --> 00:27:59,930 Come again? 360 00:28:00,020 --> 00:28:01,430 Your bird. 361 00:28:02,110 --> 00:28:03,510 Sandra? 362 00:28:03,610 --> 00:28:06,720 She talks to me like I got "cunt" written on my forehead. 363 00:28:06,820 --> 00:28:09,350 You shouldn't use words like "bird". 364 00:28:15,530 --> 00:28:20,100 You wanna watch yourself. Sandra's got a reputation. 365 00:28:21,570 --> 00:28:23,560 I'm not saying nothing. 366 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:29,560 Anyone got a match? 367 00:28:29,660 --> 00:28:31,110 Yeah, my arse and your face. 368 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,610 Your arse ain't that nice, love. 369 00:28:34,450 --> 00:28:36,360 Oh, grow up! 370 00:28:37,700 --> 00:28:41,860 Oi! Linda Lusardi. Get in here and cover yourself up. 371 00:28:43,950 --> 00:28:46,110 WOMAN: What are you doing, shouting at me in front of them? 372 00:28:46,210 --> 00:28:49,490 MAN: Well, look at you! Out there with your tits all hanging out. 373 00:28:49,580 --> 00:28:51,820 (COUPLE ARGUING) 374 00:28:56,490 --> 00:28:58,770 - Over here! - Over here. 375 00:29:07,330 --> 00:29:09,030 BOY: All right, control it! 376 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:12,530 (BOYS SHOUTING) 377 00:29:15,250 --> 00:29:16,780 Well, get us my ball back! 378 00:29:16,870 --> 00:29:18,450 (BOYS LAUGHING) 379 00:29:20,290 --> 00:29:22,030 Get it yourself! 380 00:30:30,110 --> 00:30:33,140 - SANDRA: You okay today, Ste? - Yeah. 381 00:30:34,570 --> 00:30:38,610 I went to see a new school today. There's only 20 kids in the whole place. 382 00:30:38,690 --> 00:30:40,930 There'll be 22 if you go. You and Mama Cass. 383 00:30:41,030 --> 00:30:42,350 (LAUGHING) 384 00:30:43,610 --> 00:30:45,350 - Is it residential? - No. 385 00:30:45,450 --> 00:30:48,400 That's a shame. I could've given you a hand packing. 386 00:30:48,490 --> 00:30:50,690 We could've packed that fat bitch and her music and all. 387 00:30:50,780 --> 00:30:53,020 You shouldn't speak ill of the dead. 388 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,480 (CHUCKLING) It's a shame how she died. 389 00:30:55,570 --> 00:30:58,520 - How did she die? - Choking on a sandwich. 390 00:30:58,620 --> 00:31:00,860 Now you know why I tell you not to gobble your chips down. 391 00:31:00,950 --> 00:31:02,690 - TONY: Wasn't she heavily into drugs? - Was she? 392 00:31:02,790 --> 00:31:05,650 Well, I suppose if you're that fat, drugs are probably a happy release. 393 00:31:05,740 --> 00:31:07,570 Maybe she was happy being fat. 394 00:31:07,660 --> 00:31:12,610 If she was so happy being fat, Jamie, why did she die choking on a sandwich? 395 00:31:12,710 --> 00:31:14,950 Why wasn't it a walloping great fry-up or summat? 396 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,700 It might've been a bacon and egg sandwich. 397 00:31:16,790 --> 00:31:17,950 (ALL LAUGHING) 398 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:20,240 No, it's coming to me now. 399 00:31:20,630 --> 00:31:24,120 It was definitely beef or chicken, something low in cholesterol. 400 00:31:24,210 --> 00:31:25,950 Hark at her, the fountain of all knowledge. 401 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:27,200 Yeah, well. 402 00:31:27,290 --> 00:31:29,410 When you can keep up with the questions on Bob's Full House, 403 00:31:29,500 --> 00:31:30,660 get back to me, okay? 404 00:31:30,750 --> 00:31:33,200 - I'm more of a Mastermind man. - Liar! 405 00:31:33,300 --> 00:31:36,450 Did anyone see University Challenge last week? 406 00:31:39,010 --> 00:31:40,450 Me neither. 407 00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:44,160 Tony, crack me open another one, will you? 408 00:31:47,590 --> 00:31:52,040 I fancy something wet dribbling down the back of me gullet. What do you say? 409 00:31:53,010 --> 00:31:54,790 I say ditto, right? 410 00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:58,170 Well, you can say what you like, love, 411 00:31:58,260 --> 00:32:00,460 but it's better in than out, do you know what I mean? 412 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,460 - Oh, shut up! - Oi! Manners! 413 00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:04,740 Me mother never taught me none. 414 00:32:04,850 --> 00:32:06,510 (CHUCKLES) He makes me die, he does. 415 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,510 That's the intention. 416 00:32:08,890 --> 00:32:11,510 Bet you don't talk to your old man like that, eh, Ste? 417 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:13,470 I don't speak. Full stop. 418 00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:15,470 Oh, no offence, Ste. You know what I mean? 419 00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:17,510 - Mum! - I gotta get in. 420 00:32:18,270 --> 00:32:21,390 - Yeah, you do that, Ste. - I'm going boxing with me dad later. 421 00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,640 What? Can't you get enough of it, Ste? 422 00:32:24,730 --> 00:32:26,510 (SANDRA SNICKERING) 423 00:32:27,810 --> 00:32:29,640 No, spectating. 424 00:32:31,110 --> 00:32:35,100 Weren't so funny when that bloke of yours beat you up, was it? 425 00:32:42,940 --> 00:32:45,770 Oh, you. You're so clever, aren't you? 426 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,480 Well, just remember, I gave you those brains, so think on. 427 00:32:48,570 --> 00:32:50,020 I always thought you had a lobotomy. 428 00:32:50,110 --> 00:32:52,520 - What did he say? - Explain it to her, Tony. 429 00:32:52,610 --> 00:32:56,610 - Lobotomy, it's like when you split... - Yes! I know what it means, Tony! 430 00:32:56,700 --> 00:32:58,360 (GIRL CHATTERING ON TV) 431 00:32:58,450 --> 00:33:03,020 I work all the hours God sends just to keep you in insults. 432 00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:05,150 If this was my pub, I'd have you barred. 433 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,530 Go on, then, bar me, kick me out. You wouldn't dare. 434 00:33:08,620 --> 00:33:12,280 Oh, look at you. Butter wouldn't melt. 435 00:33:12,370 --> 00:33:14,450 That's all right, Jamie. I've got your number. 436 00:33:14,540 --> 00:33:16,610 You got my number? Well, I've got yours, Sandra. 437 00:33:16,710 --> 00:33:18,490 So why don't you try and be a bit more like a mother to me? 438 00:33:18,580 --> 00:33:20,160 Oh, pull that one on me. 439 00:33:20,250 --> 00:33:23,200 I'm a terrible mother who don't know her arse from her elbow. 440 00:33:23,290 --> 00:33:25,370 I never had a mother, so what do I know about bringing up kids? 441 00:33:25,460 --> 00:33:27,030 I'm not surprised she abandoned you. 442 00:33:27,130 --> 00:33:29,240 You skinny little bastard! 443 00:33:29,340 --> 00:33:31,080 (JAMIE YELPING) 444 00:33:34,300 --> 00:33:35,700 (GRUNTING) 445 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:39,910 Mum! 446 00:34:02,970 --> 00:34:05,090 Am I like my dad? 447 00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:07,710 No. 448 00:34:07,810 --> 00:34:09,420 You're like me. 449 00:34:12,020 --> 00:34:13,880 How am I weird? 450 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,880 Just give it a rest, Jamie. Christ. 451 00:34:16,980 --> 00:34:18,800 You said it. 452 00:34:20,350 --> 00:34:23,100 You're all right. Okay? 453 00:34:24,350 --> 00:34:27,970 So you got me for a mother, but who said life was easy? 454 00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:32,140 You are. You're all right. 455 00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:51,770 (SNIFFLING) 456 00:35:07,660 --> 00:35:09,400 Do you wanna come to the boxing? 457 00:35:09,500 --> 00:35:10,770 Shut up. 458 00:35:10,870 --> 00:35:13,820 - I've got a spare ticket. - Leave me alone. 459 00:35:17,660 --> 00:35:20,030 - Are you all right? - Apparently. 460 00:35:39,130 --> 00:35:41,040 (ALL CHATTERING EXCITEDLY) 461 00:36:02,810 --> 00:36:04,880 STE: They think I'm a piece of shit. 462 00:36:44,990 --> 00:36:46,100 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 463 00:36:46,190 --> 00:36:47,730 SANDRA: Jamie? 464 00:36:48,740 --> 00:36:51,520 Do you wanna watch The Sound of Music? 465 00:36:51,610 --> 00:36:54,560 - It's on Sky, Jamie. - We're going to sleep. 466 00:36:55,740 --> 00:36:58,110 Okay. Sorry, lads. 467 00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:13,860 It's me mum's. Body Shop. 468 00:37:16,370 --> 00:37:20,110 Peppermint Foot Lotion. Soothes your feet. 469 00:37:22,710 --> 00:37:26,870 Lie down and I'll rub it into your back, if you want. 470 00:38:08,810 --> 00:38:10,300 Cold, innit? 471 00:38:10,770 --> 00:38:11,950 Yeah. 472 00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:29,010 I'm gonna work at the sports centre. 473 00:38:29,110 --> 00:38:30,380 Yeah? 474 00:38:30,690 --> 00:38:35,060 Do me shifts in the fitness pool, do me shifts in the leisure pool. 475 00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:37,350 I know I can do it. 476 00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:39,390 You're a good swimmer. 477 00:38:40,230 --> 00:38:43,100 You're on your own when you're swimming. 478 00:38:54,990 --> 00:38:56,360 (STE GASPS) 479 00:38:56,910 --> 00:38:59,270 I'm gonna stink of mint. 480 00:38:59,370 --> 00:39:01,980 - Peppermint. - Peppermint. 481 00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:13,110 Have you ever kissed anyone? 482 00:39:14,790 --> 00:39:16,740 And stuck your tongue in? 483 00:39:16,830 --> 00:39:18,210 (CHUCKLES) 484 00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:21,070 Looking like this? 485 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:23,280 You ain't ugly. 486 00:39:23,370 --> 00:39:25,450 They've made me ugly. 487 00:39:27,330 --> 00:39:29,410 I don't think you're ugly. 488 00:39:42,090 --> 00:39:44,500 Turn over, I'll do your front. 489 00:39:44,590 --> 00:39:46,200 I can't. 490 00:39:48,510 --> 00:39:51,580 I'm too sore. I'd make too much noise and your mum'd come in. 491 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:52,920 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 492 00:39:53,010 --> 00:39:56,860 SANDRA: Jamie? Sorry, love. Who played the baroness? 493 00:39:56,970 --> 00:39:59,170 - Fleanor Parker. - That's it! 494 00:39:59,260 --> 00:40:03,420 I wanna show off to Tony. Sorry, lads. It won't happen again. 495 00:40:07,010 --> 00:40:08,710 - Turn the light off. - No. 496 00:40:08,810 --> 00:40:11,000 - Please. - I don't wanna. 497 00:40:25,230 --> 00:40:27,300 Can I come up that end with you? 498 00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:29,220 - No. - Please. 499 00:40:29,310 --> 00:40:31,300 You stay where you are. 500 00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:04,650 - Satisfied? - Mmm. Night. 501 00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,950 Do you think I'm queer? 502 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:32,280 Don't matter what I think. 503 00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:46,040 Can I touch you? 504 00:41:49,470 --> 00:41:51,330 I'm a bit sore. 505 00:41:54,630 --> 00:41:55,790 Yeah. 506 00:42:02,050 --> 00:42:05,710 (SIXTEEN, GOING ON SEVENTEEN PLAYING ON TV) 507 00:43:53,220 --> 00:43:54,340 Great kid! 508 00:43:54,430 --> 00:43:55,970 Fuck off, I'm minding her for my cousin. 509 00:43:56,060 --> 00:43:57,970 Motherhood suits you. 510 00:43:58,060 --> 00:44:01,510 Yeah, well, if I did get pregnant, I wouldn't get rid of it 511 00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,010 like some slappers I could mention. 512 00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:08,010 Well, you're with the black hole of Thamesmead, love, not me. 513 00:44:38,570 --> 00:44:40,400 (WOMAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY) 514 00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:54,400 (BOYS CHATTERING) 515 00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:07,950 All right, Ste? 516 00:45:20,050 --> 00:45:22,420 - Where are you going? - Out with me mates. 517 00:45:22,510 --> 00:45:24,840 Jamie, you haven't got any mates. 518 00:45:24,930 --> 00:45:28,170 - I'm going to a party. I won't be late. - I know. 519 00:45:30,350 --> 00:45:32,260 (TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING) 520 00:46:12,700 --> 00:46:15,900 I knocked for you a few times. Thought you might've come round. 521 00:46:15,990 --> 00:46:17,730 It's hot. It's a bloody heat wave, Jamie. 522 00:46:17,820 --> 00:46:19,270 You expect me to be indoors? 523 00:46:19,370 --> 00:46:22,400 No, it's just a bit weird. 524 00:46:22,490 --> 00:46:24,770 I was out, all right? What's weird about that? 525 00:46:24,870 --> 00:46:27,110 - Well, I've been worried about you. - Don't be. 526 00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,530 - Well, I was. - Well, don't be! 527 00:46:31,790 --> 00:46:34,820 Nothing's happened, yeah? I'm all right. I'm pukka. 528 00:46:34,910 --> 00:46:36,490 Everything... Everything's pukka. 529 00:46:36,580 --> 00:46:39,250 - You're black and blue. - Give it a rest, Jamie. 530 00:46:39,330 --> 00:46:41,700 Things getting better, are they? Daddy laid off the fist work? 531 00:46:41,790 --> 00:46:45,160 - Or haven't you burnt the tea lately? - I said, leave it out! 532 00:46:45,250 --> 00:46:47,870 - You're scared. - I ain't scared of nothing. 533 00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:49,820 - Yeah? - Yeah. 534 00:46:51,090 --> 00:46:53,570 Last week, right, I went to Woolwich. 535 00:46:53,670 --> 00:46:55,830 Coming out of this shop and there's this geezer in the gutter, 536 00:46:55,920 --> 00:46:58,370 pissed out of his skull, just lying there. 537 00:46:58,460 --> 00:47:02,620 Everyone was walking past him, and I had to step over him. 538 00:47:03,340 --> 00:47:05,210 It was my old man. 539 00:47:06,010 --> 00:47:07,080 It got me thinking on the bus. 540 00:47:07,170 --> 00:47:09,290 Why be scared of a bloke who's dead to the world? 541 00:47:09,380 --> 00:47:11,290 When he knocks ten different types of shite out of you... 542 00:47:11,380 --> 00:47:13,580 He's an embarrassment. He's nothing more, he's nothing less. 543 00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:17,290 - Why be scared of that? - Scared of being called queer? 544 00:47:21,550 --> 00:47:23,210 Are you? 545 00:47:23,310 --> 00:47:24,750 Maybe. 546 00:47:28,270 --> 00:47:30,210 Maybe not. 547 00:47:30,770 --> 00:47:33,380 - And are you? - Queer? 548 00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:35,760 Gay? 549 00:47:35,850 --> 00:47:37,470 I'm very happy. 550 00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:41,720 I'm happy when I'm with you. 551 00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:46,640 There, said it now. Go on, piss yourself. 552 00:47:46,730 --> 00:47:47,800 No. 553 00:47:47,900 --> 00:47:50,220 - Why? Don't you think it's funny? - I don't want to. 554 00:47:50,310 --> 00:47:51,760 I think it's hilarious. 555 00:47:51,860 --> 00:47:54,390 Well, why aren't you laughing, then? 556 00:48:03,860 --> 00:48:06,270 Do you wanna come round tonight? 557 00:48:07,740 --> 00:48:09,890 - Well, say something. - I can't. 558 00:48:10,530 --> 00:48:12,310 Say no, then. 559 00:48:23,910 --> 00:48:26,270 Look. Let's get a drink, eh? 560 00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:39,780 Scrub me back, Tony. 561 00:48:42,420 --> 00:48:44,280 Tony? 562 00:48:49,540 --> 00:48:51,620 Tony, what's the matter? 563 00:48:57,500 --> 00:48:58,690 Tony? 564 00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:04,320 It's just something Leah said. 565 00:49:06,470 --> 00:49:07,790 Leah? 566 00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:11,460 Right. I'll look away. You lot keep talking. Then, as a surprise, 567 00:49:11,550 --> 00:49:13,580 - hit me over the head with the tongs. - What? 568 00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:15,920 - It's an experiment. - Man, I'm wired. 569 00:49:16,010 --> 00:49:18,960 I don't understand this. Do you want me to hit you hard? 570 00:49:23,140 --> 00:49:25,380 - No! - I can fucking do it! 571 00:49:25,470 --> 00:49:27,050 Come on, talk. 572 00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:34,800 - I said, talk! - Is anybody else wired? 573 00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:39,590 Here, read this. The underlined bit. 574 00:49:41,100 --> 00:49:42,880 "Mama Cass wasn't allowed to join the group 575 00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:46,140 "because Phillips didn't think her range was high enough for his songs. 576 00:49:46,230 --> 00:49:50,050 "But one day when Cass was decorating at home, a lead pipe struck her on the head 577 00:49:50,150 --> 00:49:52,220 "and when she recovered from the resultant concussion..." 578 00:49:52,310 --> 00:49:53,500 Say it. 579 00:49:53,610 --> 00:49:55,720 "Lo and behold, her voice had changed." 580 00:49:55,820 --> 00:49:58,220 STE: "Lo and behold, her voice had changed." 581 00:49:58,480 --> 00:49:59,510 (SCREAMS) 582 00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:02,270 You twisted little bitch. 583 00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:03,770 (LEAH SCREAMING) 584 00:50:04,900 --> 00:50:07,850 How dare you say all those things to my fella? 585 00:50:07,940 --> 00:50:10,810 I lost that baby, you venomous little cow! 586 00:50:10,900 --> 00:50:13,890 You'll never turn Tony's mind against me, Leah, do you hear me? 587 00:50:13,990 --> 00:50:17,650 'Cause he sees you for the interfering little slapper that you are. 588 00:50:17,740 --> 00:50:20,440 - I wanted it to change. - Oh, well, some things never change. 589 00:50:20,530 --> 00:50:21,650 I wanted it to change! 590 00:50:21,740 --> 00:50:26,690 A leopard never changes its spots and a slapper never changes her knickers. 591 00:50:28,290 --> 00:50:30,900 - Be told! - RYAN: Man, I'm tripping. 592 00:50:31,540 --> 00:50:32,610 Come on, Tony. 593 00:50:32,700 --> 00:50:35,740 - Fancy a drink, babe? - Have a wank, Big Bollocks! 594 00:50:38,580 --> 00:50:41,610 Is that your mum, Gangel? No wonder you're fucking nuts! 595 00:50:41,710 --> 00:50:43,950 You shouldn't have said that to Tony. 596 00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:46,950 - Don't you start. - Shall I call an ambulance? 597 00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:49,370 Call a vet, have it put down. 598 00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:52,660 Hey, Ste! You got any of them Es left? 599 00:50:52,750 --> 00:50:54,370 - No! - Please, Steven! 600 00:50:54,460 --> 00:50:57,160 No way! Come on, Jamie, let's go. 601 00:50:57,250 --> 00:51:00,830 Give us an E, or I'll spread it round where you slept last week. 602 00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:02,160 What? 603 00:51:03,090 --> 00:51:05,570 - Don't know what you're talking about. - He slept on the couch. 604 00:51:05,670 --> 00:51:09,250 Not what I heard. Top to tail, your mum said, very nice. 605 00:51:09,340 --> 00:51:11,040 Take no notice, Ste. 606 00:51:11,130 --> 00:51:13,500 - What would your dad say? - Piss off, Leah! 607 00:51:13,590 --> 00:51:15,080 What would your Trevor say? 608 00:51:15,180 --> 00:51:16,550 - Leah! - Try it! 609 00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:17,710 I don't like hitting girls! 610 00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:19,920 Oh, hit me, then. Go on. Hit me. 611 00:51:20,010 --> 00:51:22,630 - You stupid queer! - Ste, come on. 612 00:51:29,810 --> 00:51:32,840 Oi! Trevor already knows! 613 00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:40,130 You know what them flats are like, walls paper-thin. 614 00:51:40,230 --> 00:51:43,340 Why do you think he's been twatting the face off of you? He knows! 615 00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:44,840 There's nothing to know. 616 00:51:44,940 --> 00:51:46,840 - Top to tail? - You know fuck all. 617 00:51:46,940 --> 00:51:48,550 LEAH: Oh, really? JAMIE: Yeah, really. 618 00:51:48,650 --> 00:51:50,260 Well, I know this much. 619 00:51:50,350 --> 00:51:53,260 I've been sticking up for you, for the pair of you. 620 00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:56,110 Told him I knew you'd slept on the couch. 621 00:51:56,190 --> 00:51:58,750 Told him I've been in and seen. 622 00:51:58,980 --> 00:52:01,460 I goes, "You shouldn't say things like that about your brother. 623 00:52:01,570 --> 00:52:02,890 "They're just mates." 624 00:52:02,980 --> 00:52:04,520 Nothing happened. 625 00:52:04,610 --> 00:52:06,100 When was the last time your Trevor hit you? 626 00:52:06,190 --> 00:52:08,140 - What's it to you? - LEAH: I bet it was Thursday. 627 00:52:08,240 --> 00:52:10,390 - So? - You see, that's when I told him. 628 00:52:10,490 --> 00:52:12,390 That's when I lied. 629 00:52:15,860 --> 00:52:18,480 - Give her an E. - No, it's all right. 630 00:52:18,570 --> 00:52:20,650 I'm not after sympathy. 631 00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:26,870 - We going, then? - Are you fucking stupid or what? 632 00:52:26,950 --> 00:52:28,770 - Ste... - Get your hands off me! 633 00:52:28,870 --> 00:52:32,110 - Ste... - Get your fucking queer hands off me! 634 00:52:37,330 --> 00:52:38,990 (GIRLS LAUGHING) 635 00:52:47,060 --> 00:52:48,920 BETTY: Ste's over there. 636 00:52:50,230 --> 00:52:51,260 Come on. 637 00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:58,430 - All right? - All right. 638 00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:02,930 - What you doing? - Oh, not a lot. 639 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:06,060 Claire's mum's got some vodka back at their house, ain't she, Claire? 640 00:53:06,150 --> 00:53:08,710 Yeah, half a bottle. We're going back there now. 641 00:53:08,820 --> 00:53:11,430 Claire's mum works at the all-night garage, don't she, Claire? 642 00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:13,560 Yeah. Her name's Mary. 643 00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:17,850 Do you fancy some vodka, Ste? 644 00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:20,020 No, not really. 645 00:53:20,110 --> 00:53:22,430 - Well, then, see you. - See you. 646 00:53:22,570 --> 00:53:24,230 Come on, Claire. 647 00:53:26,990 --> 00:53:28,650 (GIRLS GIGGLING) 648 00:53:29,910 --> 00:53:32,230 I suppose a shag's out of the question, then? 649 00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:33,980 (GIRLS GIGGLING) 650 00:54:05,830 --> 00:54:08,240 - I'm going now. - All right, love. 651 00:54:08,340 --> 00:54:09,410 Oi! 652 00:54:23,010 --> 00:54:24,120 No! 653 00:54:25,090 --> 00:54:26,470 Yeah, I'll see you. 654 00:54:26,550 --> 00:54:29,080 See you. I wouldn't wanna be you. 655 00:54:35,010 --> 00:54:37,630 How do you fancy going to Greenwich? The park. 656 00:54:37,720 --> 00:54:40,200 "Legs astride the Meridian," as they say. 657 00:54:40,720 --> 00:54:43,200 I gotta finish the week's rota for work. 658 00:54:43,310 --> 00:54:46,090 You're addicted to that pub, addict. 659 00:54:46,180 --> 00:54:49,050 Don't knock it, there's money to be made in booze. 660 00:54:49,140 --> 00:54:51,300 Is that all you want outta life? 661 00:54:51,390 --> 00:54:53,340 All I want outta life is to make enough money 662 00:54:53,430 --> 00:54:55,910 to buy a decent pair of shoes that don't let the rain in. 663 00:54:56,020 --> 00:54:58,970 - I can get you shoes. - Oh, Tony... 664 00:54:59,230 --> 00:55:01,710 - I can make you shoes. - Tony. 665 00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:07,720 TONY: Right. I'll do some hoovering or whatever. 666 00:55:07,810 --> 00:55:09,760 But I thought you said you wanted to go to the park. 667 00:55:09,860 --> 00:55:11,390 It's no problem. 668 00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:13,640 - Yo, Ste! - You all right? 669 00:55:13,730 --> 00:55:16,850 Here, Ste. Any beans to spill? 670 00:55:16,940 --> 00:55:19,640 A little bird tells me you're in love. 671 00:55:20,820 --> 00:55:22,010 What? 672 00:55:22,110 --> 00:55:23,980 Four-letter word, "love". 673 00:55:24,740 --> 00:55:26,980 Oh, don't look so worried. Jamie told me all about it. 674 00:55:27,070 --> 00:55:29,940 She's just jealous, 20 years younger, it could've been her. 675 00:55:30,030 --> 00:55:32,150 Come on, what's she like? 676 00:55:32,570 --> 00:55:34,650 Well, what's her name, then? 677 00:55:34,740 --> 00:55:37,020 - No... - Oh, short for Noleen? 678 00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:38,560 It's very Home and Away. 679 00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:42,230 It's about time, too, you deserve a bit of luck. 680 00:55:42,330 --> 00:55:44,270 'Cause you're all right, you are. 681 00:55:44,370 --> 00:55:48,190 Here, buy Noleen a present with this. 682 00:55:49,830 --> 00:55:52,360 - Get her some flowers. - Sandra, I can't take your money. 683 00:55:52,450 --> 00:55:55,780 Oh, I had a good night for tips last night. Go on. 684 00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:05,490 It's for his bird. 685 00:56:05,580 --> 00:56:09,580 Do you have to use words like that? It really disempowers you. 686 00:56:24,220 --> 00:56:26,500 Noleen busy tonight, was she? 687 00:56:44,890 --> 00:56:46,380 I got you this. 688 00:57:00,690 --> 00:57:02,470 (IN A SOUTHERN ACCENT) My, what a pretty hat. 689 00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:05,470 It's the prettiest hat I ever did see, Master Steven. 690 00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:07,850 Does this mean we're engaged? 691 00:57:13,270 --> 00:57:14,430 What? 692 00:57:47,410 --> 00:57:48,730 Tony? 693 00:57:53,410 --> 00:57:54,570 Tony? 694 00:57:58,790 --> 00:58:00,240 Sort me out. 695 00:58:03,330 --> 00:58:04,710 (CLEARS THROAT) 696 00:58:16,170 --> 00:58:19,160 It just don't feel right, here. 697 00:58:19,260 --> 00:58:21,450 Your mum and Tony on the other side of that door. 698 00:58:21,550 --> 00:58:23,950 My old man and Trevor next door. 699 00:58:24,470 --> 00:58:25,580 I got an auntie in Gravesend. 700 00:58:25,670 --> 00:58:28,210 Thought we could go there one night, 'cause she's deaf. 701 00:58:28,300 --> 00:58:30,780 But that don't feel right either. 702 00:58:57,850 --> 00:58:59,120 (CHUCKLES) 703 00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:08,890 "You cannot transmit the HIV virus via frottage." 704 00:59:10,520 --> 00:59:12,010 What's frottage? 705 00:59:12,110 --> 00:59:14,010 It's yoghurt. It's French. 706 00:59:16,690 --> 00:59:20,060 "Dear Brian, I am 23, black and gay. 707 00:59:20,150 --> 00:59:22,630 "I am happy being with a man, but I get a horrible feeling 708 00:59:22,740 --> 00:59:24,930 "that people are going to talk about me behind my back, 709 00:59:25,030 --> 00:59:27,180 "and not accept me as I am. 710 00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:31,350 "Also, my family don't know. Unhappy, North London." 711 00:59:31,450 --> 00:59:33,480 Get over that river, mate. I'll make you happy. 712 00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:34,900 Shut up! 713 00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:37,810 Find page 92. 714 00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,860 It's the bottom right-hand corner. 715 00:59:45,490 --> 00:59:49,650 It's a pub. The 180 bus goes right to it. 716 00:59:52,910 --> 00:59:53,990 So? 717 00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:59,490 Look at that. Isn't that beautiful? 718 00:59:59,580 --> 01:00:01,820 You'd never get it through the front door. 719 01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:05,570 Yeah, but you never know if you're gonna be living somewhere else, do you? 720 01:00:05,670 --> 01:00:07,450 It's a work of art, that is. 721 01:00:07,540 --> 01:00:09,820 Claude Monet couldn't have done better. 722 01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:11,370 Get a life. 723 01:00:12,420 --> 01:00:14,830 Do you know who Claude Monet is? 724 01:00:15,380 --> 01:00:18,080 Jamie, don't make me out to be thick. 725 01:00:18,500 --> 01:00:21,490 You just remember, I won a year's supply of toilet freshener 726 01:00:21,590 --> 01:00:23,660 for making up that poem. 727 01:00:23,960 --> 01:00:27,040 That took brains and artistry, that did. 728 01:00:28,130 --> 01:00:29,620 (PHONE RINGING) 729 01:00:31,630 --> 01:00:33,870 Can you imagine it, though? 730 01:00:33,970 --> 01:00:37,820 Me and you with our feet up on a cold winter's night? 731 01:00:37,930 --> 01:00:38,960 TONY: Yeah, hold on. 732 01:00:39,050 --> 01:00:41,040 - On that. - TONY: Sandra! 733 01:00:43,930 --> 01:00:45,670 Who was he, then? 734 01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:48,210 He painted the Sixteenth Chapel. 735 01:00:49,930 --> 01:00:53,090 - And I haven't finished with you yet. - Miss Chauhan. 736 01:00:54,730 --> 01:00:57,130 - See you. - Have a cool time, kid. 737 01:00:58,270 --> 01:01:01,430 You rang to speak about my little git of a son? 738 01:01:36,110 --> 01:01:37,730 You seen Jamie? 739 01:02:50,220 --> 01:02:52,250 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 740 01:02:54,180 --> 01:02:56,130 (MAN SINGING HAVA NAGILA) 741 01:03:45,990 --> 01:03:48,190 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 742 01:03:59,500 --> 01:04:01,950 DRAG QUEEN: I love you. You're marvellous. That's lovely 743 01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:04,450 Well, Petra, I hope your leg gets better. 744 01:04:04,540 --> 01:04:06,410 She still thinks she's in Baby Jane. 745 01:04:06,500 --> 01:04:07,530 (ALL LAUGHING) 746 01:04:07,620 --> 01:04:09,610 Fancy wheeling me round the back, mate? 747 01:04:09,710 --> 01:04:11,240 (PEOPLE EXCLAIMING) 748 01:04:11,330 --> 01:04:14,200 Excuse me, what's going on here? Petra, dear? 749 01:04:15,710 --> 01:04:17,580 (QUACKING) 750 01:04:18,670 --> 01:04:19,830 Bit young for you, isn't she, dear? 751 01:04:19,920 --> 01:04:21,700 She looks like she's just out of Pampers. 752 01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:22,830 (WOMAN SHOUTING) 753 01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:26,000 Shut up, you. What's your name, petal? 754 01:04:27,090 --> 01:04:28,200 Jamie. 755 01:04:28,300 --> 01:04:29,370 - ALL: Aw! - Oh, Jamie. 756 01:04:29,470 --> 01:04:32,250 You just make me feel like I wanna get my breast out to you. 757 01:04:32,340 --> 01:04:33,910 (ALL LAUGHING) 758 01:04:35,010 --> 01:04:38,170 # I feel like Chicken Tonight # 759 01:04:40,300 --> 01:04:44,130 So, Jamie, I think I'll have two of you, 760 01:04:44,220 --> 01:04:46,290 and ten of your mate. Hello! 761 01:04:46,390 --> 01:04:47,790 (ALL LAUGHING) 762 01:04:47,890 --> 01:04:52,500 Well, lads, I've got my work cut out. I'll see you after the break. Ta-Ra. 763 01:04:56,390 --> 01:04:58,950 Oh, don't you wish your leg was better, Petra? 764 01:04:59,060 --> 01:05:02,590 See you later! Mothercare, here I come! 765 01:06:29,380 --> 01:06:32,790 - You all right, Leah? - Leah? Who's Leah? 766 01:06:45,010 --> 01:06:48,040 - Had a nice night? - Yeah. 767 01:06:51,680 --> 01:06:53,750 - Go to the pictures? - Yeah. 768 01:06:54,850 --> 01:06:57,090 - What, with Ste? - Yeah. 769 01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:01,050 This is no time for lying, Jamie. 770 01:07:01,140 --> 01:07:03,050 It's not a lie. 771 01:07:04,530 --> 01:07:07,140 You went to The Gloucester, didn't you? 772 01:07:07,690 --> 01:07:09,890 Look at me. 773 01:07:09,990 --> 01:07:11,520 I only went for a drink. 774 01:07:11,610 --> 01:07:13,060 That's where gay people go. 775 01:07:13,150 --> 01:07:15,630 Not just gay people go. Other people go. 776 01:07:15,740 --> 01:07:18,440 - Oh, people like you? - Yeah. 777 01:07:20,490 --> 01:07:23,360 - Miss Chauhan rang me today. - That old bag. 778 01:07:23,450 --> 01:07:26,010 - You never told me you kept getting hit. - Everyone gets hit. 779 01:07:26,120 --> 01:07:27,230 Oh. 780 01:07:28,410 --> 01:07:32,570 And does everyone get called a queer bent bastard and all, do they? 781 01:07:41,080 --> 01:07:42,740 - You're pissed. - No, I'm not. 782 01:07:42,830 --> 01:07:45,700 You're pissed from a bloody gay bar. 783 01:07:45,790 --> 01:07:46,980 How do you know it's gay, anyway? 784 01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:50,030 'Cause it's got a bloody great pink neon arse outside of it. 785 01:07:50,130 --> 01:07:51,870 - You been spying on me? - No. 786 01:07:52,670 --> 01:07:54,240 Someone at work saw you go in. 787 01:07:54,340 --> 01:07:56,620 Well, it don't mean I'm gay. 788 01:07:56,710 --> 01:07:58,990 They wanna mind their own business. 789 01:07:59,090 --> 01:08:01,450 - That's what I said. - What are you going on at me for, then? 790 01:08:01,550 --> 01:08:05,830 Because sometimes, Jamie, I can put two and two together and make bloody four. 791 01:08:05,920 --> 01:08:09,410 - I'm not bloody stupid, you know. - I went for a drink. Big deal. 792 01:08:09,510 --> 01:08:11,790 - Everyone in my class goes drinking. - Yeah. 793 01:08:11,880 --> 01:08:14,290 But they don't all go to the bloody Gloucester, though, do they? 794 01:08:14,380 --> 01:08:16,080 Some of them take drugs, at least I ain't doing that. 795 01:08:16,180 --> 01:08:17,790 No, I bloody hope you're not! 796 01:08:17,890 --> 01:08:21,290 Thanks a lot. Thanks a bundle. Go back to bed. 797 01:08:21,390 --> 01:08:22,760 I can't sleep, Jamie. 798 01:08:22,850 --> 01:08:24,880 Don't take it out on me. 799 01:08:26,220 --> 01:08:28,700 - Will you just talk to me, Jamie? - I'm knackered. 800 01:08:28,810 --> 01:08:32,800 Jamie. Please. Just talk to me! 801 01:08:35,350 --> 01:08:37,050 I'm your mother! 802 01:08:46,690 --> 01:08:49,250 Some things are just hard to say. 803 01:08:50,520 --> 01:08:54,010 I know. I know that. 804 01:08:54,980 --> 01:08:58,970 You think I'm too young. You think it's just a phase. 805 01:08:59,070 --> 01:09:01,730 You think I'm gonna catch AIDS and everything. 806 01:09:05,860 --> 01:09:08,480 You know a lot about me, don't you? 807 01:09:17,030 --> 01:09:18,850 Don't cry. 808 01:09:22,410 --> 01:09:24,860 (SHUSHING) 809 01:09:24,950 --> 01:09:26,520 It's all right. 810 01:09:26,620 --> 01:09:28,400 (SOBBING) 811 01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:49,120 I'm not gonna put you out in the morning like an empty bottle. 812 01:10:04,880 --> 01:10:06,500 There's me, going to bed at night worried, 813 01:10:06,590 --> 01:10:09,040 'cause you had to share a bed with Ste. 814 01:10:09,920 --> 01:10:12,160 And all the time you were... 815 01:10:13,510 --> 01:10:15,960 You were doing a 70 minus one. 816 01:10:22,930 --> 01:10:26,920 I like the lad, Jamie, but he hasn't seen any life. 817 01:10:27,970 --> 01:10:30,050 - He's good to me. - Is he? 818 01:10:31,890 --> 01:10:33,050 Yeah. 819 01:10:40,560 --> 01:10:43,420 - What have you done now? - Nothing. 820 01:10:43,520 --> 01:10:45,840 Then why's she so upset? 821 01:10:45,940 --> 01:10:49,680 'Cause I'm a queer. A bender, a poofter, a knobshiner! 822 01:10:49,770 --> 01:10:51,760 Brown hatter! Shirtflaplifter! 823 01:10:51,850 --> 01:10:53,840 I... I get the picture. 824 01:10:55,520 --> 01:10:57,930 Leave me alone. 825 01:10:58,020 --> 01:11:01,640 - And she knows this? - No, I thought I'd tell you first. 826 01:11:03,570 --> 01:11:06,970 This is... It's... 827 01:11:10,070 --> 01:11:11,480 It's cool. 828 01:11:15,740 --> 01:11:17,390 Good night, kiddo. 829 01:12:11,060 --> 01:12:12,430 He was... 830 01:12:14,770 --> 01:12:17,840 He was the most beautiful baby in Bermondsey. 831 01:12:22,230 --> 01:12:25,180 I used to push him around in a little frilly hat, 832 01:12:25,270 --> 01:12:28,390 in a big blue pram called "Queen of the Road". 833 01:12:29,400 --> 01:12:31,550 None of that's changed. 834 01:12:33,400 --> 01:12:34,850 (SNIFFLING) 835 01:12:39,150 --> 01:12:42,020 - You're fighting it, hon. - Fighting? 836 01:12:42,110 --> 01:12:44,670 I've been fighting all my life. 837 01:12:45,820 --> 01:12:48,520 Kids picking on him. I was there. 838 01:12:48,610 --> 01:12:51,890 Council saying bollocks to benefit, I was there. 839 01:12:52,700 --> 01:12:55,180 When I had 3p in my purse and an empty fridge, 840 01:12:55,280 --> 01:12:59,440 I went robbing for that boy, so don't talk to me about fighting! 841 01:13:00,700 --> 01:13:05,270 You? What have you ever had to fight for in your life? 842 01:13:07,240 --> 01:13:10,610 (CREEQUE ALLEY PLAYING ON STEREO) 843 01:13:12,240 --> 01:13:16,150 Thank you. Thank you to all members of the Academy. 844 01:13:16,250 --> 01:13:18,730 This award means so much to me. 845 01:13:18,830 --> 01:13:22,240 I've never won anything in my life before. 846 01:13:22,330 --> 01:13:25,530 I'd like to thank my manager and my band, 847 01:13:25,620 --> 01:13:29,480 but most of all I'd like to thank one very special person. 848 01:13:29,580 --> 01:13:33,700 - What the... - The woman from whom all energy flows. 849 01:13:33,790 --> 01:13:36,990 This award is as much hers as mine. 850 01:13:37,090 --> 01:13:41,660 The woman who gives me so much inspiration. 851 01:13:42,210 --> 01:13:44,910 - Let's hear it for her. Mama San. - Leah. 852 01:13:45,010 --> 01:13:47,670 - People say to me, they say... - Leah, are you drunk? 853 01:13:47,760 --> 01:13:49,130 "Where do you get your energy from?" 854 01:13:49,220 --> 01:13:51,120 Leah, it's 2:00 in the morning. 855 01:13:51,220 --> 01:13:53,250 - And I say, "Hey..." - Has she taken something? 856 01:13:53,340 --> 01:13:55,250 -"Mama San." - Is your mother in? 857 01:13:55,340 --> 01:13:59,580 Mama San, get on down, honey. Your vibes are shooting through me now. 858 01:13:59,680 --> 01:14:00,950 Is she working nights? 859 01:14:01,050 --> 01:14:04,170 Don't ever let the light leave you, Mama San. 860 01:14:05,140 --> 01:14:08,840 Rose! Leah, get your keys out. Hurry up. 861 01:14:08,930 --> 01:14:10,920 Have you taken, like, a trip, you know? 862 01:14:11,010 --> 01:14:14,630 Jamie! Leah, let me have your keys, please. 863 01:14:14,720 --> 01:14:15,880 TONY: Don't shout at her. 864 01:14:15,970 --> 01:14:18,540 - You're giving me bad vibes, Mama. - She's on something. 865 01:14:18,640 --> 01:14:19,910 Jamie! 866 01:14:21,100 --> 01:14:24,470 You're an old man. I don't like old men. 867 01:14:24,560 --> 01:14:26,130 That's cool. It's no problem. 868 01:14:26,230 --> 01:14:29,180 Well, it is a problem, actually, Tony, don't pander to her. 869 01:14:29,270 --> 01:14:31,430 - What's going on? - Rose! 870 01:14:31,520 --> 01:14:34,350 I saw a video about Woodstock once. 871 01:14:36,020 --> 01:14:39,600 Leah, get in here and turn your bloody music down! 872 01:14:41,150 --> 01:14:42,560 SANDRA: Oh, my God! Tony! TONY: Leah, what the... 873 01:14:42,650 --> 01:14:44,470 Tony, get her down. 874 01:14:45,320 --> 01:14:49,480 Leah. Leah, have you taken, like, a trip, you know? 875 01:14:50,690 --> 01:14:52,100 - Get down, you silly cow. - Sandra! 876 01:14:52,200 --> 01:14:54,600 Here, body language, Tony? 877 01:14:54,700 --> 01:14:57,730 - Hey, you, pack it in, will you? - Oi, arsehole! Fuck off! 878 01:14:57,820 --> 01:14:59,200 There's no need for that, you old whore! 879 01:14:59,280 --> 01:15:00,520 Oh, Jamie, help us! 880 01:15:00,620 --> 01:15:03,100 - Betty, it's them again! - I can see that. 881 01:15:03,200 --> 01:15:05,950 TONY: Right. MAN: Fucking turn it down! 882 01:15:06,700 --> 01:15:09,260 How am I supposed to sleep with that row going on? 883 01:15:09,370 --> 01:15:11,900 It's all right, babes, you're safe. 884 01:15:11,990 --> 01:15:14,150 I'll be glad to get off this bloody estate. 885 01:15:14,240 --> 01:15:15,480 What? 886 01:15:16,580 --> 01:15:19,030 I've been offered a job, if you must know. 887 01:15:19,660 --> 01:15:24,150 Temporary licensee in a pub in Rotherhithe. Nice little flat above it. 888 01:15:24,410 --> 01:15:26,240 Thanks for telling me. 889 01:15:26,330 --> 01:15:27,570 Snap! 890 01:15:30,130 --> 01:15:32,200 - TONY: Leah? - Oh, leave the silly cow. 891 01:15:32,290 --> 01:15:34,120 We can't just... 892 01:15:34,210 --> 01:15:36,370 Tony. Tony! 893 01:15:42,460 --> 01:15:44,410 Right, Jamie, indoors. 894 01:15:45,130 --> 01:15:47,290 Ste, she knows. 895 01:15:48,340 --> 01:15:50,370 - My mum knows. - Why'd you have to go and grass? 896 01:15:50,470 --> 01:15:52,790 - I never. - Well, how comes she knows? 897 01:15:52,880 --> 01:15:56,210 Because she never came down with the last shower. 898 01:16:03,220 --> 01:16:05,290 Jamie, get him an hanky. 899 01:16:05,390 --> 01:16:08,000 There's a box of autumnal shades by me bed. 900 01:16:08,470 --> 01:16:09,880 (SNIFFLING) 901 01:16:16,970 --> 01:16:18,590 (HORN HONKING) 902 01:16:21,890 --> 01:16:24,970 Leah! Leah! 903 01:16:26,390 --> 01:16:27,930 (CARS HONKING) 904 01:16:28,560 --> 01:16:30,010 Mama Cass! 905 01:16:38,070 --> 01:16:40,260 I don't believe in secrets. 906 01:16:41,690 --> 01:16:44,640 I like people to be straight up and honest. 907 01:16:45,570 --> 01:16:47,600 But I'm no fool. 908 01:16:47,690 --> 01:16:49,930 You think I want these flats infamous for child murder? 909 01:16:50,030 --> 01:16:51,480 No. So I won't be telling your dad. 910 01:16:51,570 --> 01:16:53,480 He'd kill me. 911 01:16:53,570 --> 01:16:55,640 - Yeah, I just said that. - No, he would! 912 01:16:55,740 --> 01:16:58,600 Yeah, I think we've established that already, actually, Ste. 913 01:16:58,700 --> 01:16:59,770 They all would. All of them. 914 01:16:59,860 --> 01:17:02,850 I'll bloody kill you in a minute if you don't stop snivelling and shut up! 915 01:17:02,950 --> 01:17:04,360 (SOBBING) 916 01:17:11,080 --> 01:17:14,650 You're a good lad, and that's what counts. 917 01:17:17,080 --> 01:17:19,190 And somewhere... 918 01:17:20,250 --> 01:17:22,690 you'll find people that won't wanna kill you. 919 01:17:22,790 --> 01:17:24,820 No, I won't. 920 01:17:25,250 --> 01:17:27,450 - You found The Gloucester. - I hate it. 921 01:17:27,540 --> 01:17:31,530 - Well, somewhere else, then! Shut up! - There ain't nowhere else. 922 01:17:34,670 --> 01:17:36,700 There is, actually, Ste. 923 01:17:38,710 --> 01:17:42,120 There's an island in the Mediterranean called Lesbian, 924 01:17:42,210 --> 01:17:46,370 and all its inhabitants are dykes, so I think you got your eye wiped there. 925 01:17:50,630 --> 01:17:52,580 Now wipe them properly. 926 01:18:10,260 --> 01:18:13,250 - Fuck me. - No, I'll have none of that here. 927 01:18:16,350 --> 01:18:18,460 I'm going to bed. 928 01:18:21,919 --> 01:18:25,800 Right, Sandra. Night, Sandra. Cheers, Sandra. 929 01:18:26,586 --> 01:18:30,010 Yeah, that's me name, Ste. Don't wear it out, eh? 930 01:20:16,876 --> 01:20:19,650 LEAH: I wish I was the one that was going away. 931 01:20:19,750 --> 01:20:21,840 Nothing ever happens round here. 932 01:20:21,930 --> 01:20:25,790 I gets up in the morning, bake my face in half a ton of slap, 933 01:20:25,890 --> 01:20:29,516 tong my hair with yesterday's lacquer, that's it. 934 01:20:29,530 --> 01:20:32,060 It's the same every bleeding day. 935 01:20:32,820 --> 01:20:35,350 There's fuck all to look forward to. 936 01:20:35,450 --> 01:20:38,440 - What about your new school? - Fell through. 937 01:20:39,860 --> 01:20:42,430 - Do you wanna come to The Gloucester? - Do what? 938 01:20:42,530 --> 01:20:43,940 Gay pub. 939 01:20:44,030 --> 01:20:46,480 - Don't know any gay blokes. - Yes, you do. 940 01:20:46,780 --> 01:20:48,610 - Yeah? - Yeah. 941 01:20:51,580 --> 01:20:54,280 - There'll be plenty of men. - Yeah. 942 01:20:54,370 --> 01:20:56,440 And they all dance backwards and never get married. 943 01:20:56,540 --> 01:20:58,530 (BOTH LAUGHING) 944 01:21:01,290 --> 01:21:02,950 See, I told you. 945 01:21:03,580 --> 01:21:05,450 You're going to Woolwich, ain't you? 946 01:21:05,540 --> 01:21:07,200 - What? - Yeah. 947 01:21:07,290 --> 01:21:08,740 Pub crawl, then Stars nightclub. 948 01:21:08,830 --> 01:21:09,860 (CHUCKLING) 949 01:21:09,960 --> 01:21:12,070 You'll pull dressed like that. 950 01:21:14,580 --> 01:21:17,410 Why don't you come down The Gloucester with us? 951 01:21:21,800 --> 01:21:23,950 Ring the other girls, tell them you'll meet them later. 952 01:21:24,050 --> 01:21:25,420 Jamie. 953 01:21:25,510 --> 01:21:28,620 You don't know how to enjoy yourself, do you? 954 01:21:30,470 --> 01:21:33,410 There's a male stripper tonight as well. 955 01:21:35,510 --> 01:21:37,830 (MAN CHATTERING ON TV) 956 01:21:39,300 --> 01:21:41,420 - Louise. - Yeah? 957 01:21:43,430 --> 01:21:45,790 I will never have grandchildren. 958 01:21:47,600 --> 01:21:49,040 Aw. 959 01:21:56,270 --> 01:21:58,260 Don't suppose you've got any jobs in your new pub? 960 01:21:58,350 --> 01:21:59,420 No. 961 01:21:59,520 --> 01:22:03,670 But if I ever do turn it into a brothel, I'll get back to you, okay? 962 01:22:04,440 --> 01:22:06,760 Well, gotta get in. Get ready. 963 01:22:07,310 --> 01:22:09,930 Going out with Ste and Jamie tonight. 964 01:22:11,060 --> 01:22:12,180 The Gloucester? 965 01:22:12,270 --> 01:22:16,050 Yeah. I intend to find myself a nice dyke tonight. 966 01:22:16,940 --> 01:22:20,060 'Cause I'm telling you, I'm through with men. 967 01:22:30,070 --> 01:22:32,980 - Well, if I had a camera now. - What? 968 01:22:34,360 --> 01:22:36,140 Well, I'd take your picture. 969 01:22:36,240 --> 01:22:37,850 Tony, what are you doing? 970 01:22:37,950 --> 01:22:39,690 Can't keep away from you, babes. 971 01:22:39,780 --> 01:22:42,190 I told you, I'm going out with the girls from work. 972 01:22:42,280 --> 01:22:43,440 Thought I could tag along. 973 01:22:43,530 --> 01:22:45,940 It's a girls' night out. You'll only be bored. 974 01:22:46,030 --> 01:22:48,860 - I want to celebrate, too. - Yeah, I know, but I told you. I was... 975 01:22:48,950 --> 01:22:50,480 They'd mind? 976 01:22:51,160 --> 01:22:52,540 I'll mind. 977 01:22:55,040 --> 01:22:57,860 How about one little kiss to send me on my way? 978 01:22:57,950 --> 01:22:59,360 Something to think of till tomorrow. 979 01:22:59,450 --> 01:23:01,110 Stop it. 980 01:23:02,580 --> 01:23:04,450 Well, I'll ring you. 981 01:23:09,120 --> 01:23:12,030 - Tony... - Look, when's your next night off? 982 01:23:12,960 --> 01:23:14,070 No. 983 01:23:15,750 --> 01:23:18,200 No, Tony. I think you'd better go. 984 01:23:19,460 --> 01:23:23,620 Here, stick that down the chute for us, will you? 985 01:23:46,850 --> 01:23:48,460 (LIVELY MUSIC ON TV) 986 01:23:48,550 --> 01:23:50,840 - What you doing? - Staying in. 987 01:24:11,650 --> 01:24:13,590 - Laters. - Yeah. 988 01:24:29,690 --> 01:24:32,640 You'll be seduced by a lesbian, Leah. 989 01:24:32,740 --> 01:24:35,440 Why don't you come to bingo with me? 990 01:24:36,650 --> 01:24:40,020 But don't you see, Mum? I am a lesbian. 991 01:24:43,110 --> 01:24:44,490 (LAUGHING) 992 01:24:49,160 --> 01:24:50,350 Oh, no. 993 01:24:54,740 --> 01:24:57,440 (DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME PLAYING) 994 01:25:02,700 --> 01:25:05,110 - Anyone about? - Nah. 995 01:25:06,250 --> 01:25:07,400 (BANGING) 996 01:25:13,460 --> 01:25:15,030 Dance with me. 997 01:26:17,110 --> 01:26:20,140 Here, Leah, give us a little drag on that. 998 01:26:31,820 --> 01:26:33,390 Come on, then. 999 01:26:59,740 --> 01:27:01,740 - Here, Ste! - What? 1000 01:27:01,830 --> 01:27:03,650 Imagine your dad's face. 1001 01:27:03,750 --> 01:27:05,120 (LAUGHING) 1002 01:27:14,000 --> 01:27:15,820 - Here, Leah. - What? 1003 01:27:15,920 --> 01:27:17,370 What's this dyke gonna be like? 1004 01:27:17,460 --> 01:27:19,660 Ah, big and butch. 1005 01:27:20,670 --> 01:27:23,280 - What colour eyes? - Green. 1006 01:27:23,380 --> 01:27:25,700 - Tall? - I'll have to look up. 1007 01:27:25,800 --> 01:27:27,740 - Nice. - Yeah.