1
00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:56,779
Ah, Mother's Day.

2
00:00:56,980 --> 00:00:59,494
Paige, come on, honey,
you have to go to school.

3
00:00:59,580 --> 00:01:01,218
I love being a mother.

4
00:01:01,540 --> 00:01:04,737
But what about the other
364 days of the year?

5
00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:07,135
When you're trying to
get your kid to school

6
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:09,939
and you're surviving
on very little sleep

7
00:01:10,060 --> 00:01:13,736
because you're up all night sewing
costumes for the school play

8
00:01:13,821 --> 00:01:15,781
and you've still got to go
to work in the morning.

9
00:01:16,341 --> 00:01:17,341
Go.

10
00:01:17,461 --> 00:01:19,850
It's about
the never-ending driving

11
00:01:19,941 --> 00:01:22,216
to soccer,
gymnastics, or ballet.

12
00:01:23,461 --> 00:01:26,533
It's about getting your kids
to look up from their computer

13
00:01:26,621 --> 00:01:30,136
or iPad or iPod or iPhone or
whatever "I" they're looking at.

14
00:01:30,461 --> 00:01:33,737
Paige, wait, honey,
your banana, hold on, hold on!

15
00:01:34,941 --> 00:01:36,852
It's okay, honey,
just eat the peach.

16
00:01:36,981 --> 00:01:38,380
Eat the peach, it's fine.

17
00:01:38,461 --> 00:01:40,929
In other words,
it's about being a...

18
00:01:41,021 --> 00:01:43,171
Mom! Mom!

19
00:01:43,941 --> 00:01:45,169
Mom!

20
00:01:45,621 --> 00:01:46,621
Peter...

21
00:01:46,661 --> 00:01:49,495
Wait, wait, wait...
breathe, slow down, slow down,

22
00:01:49,582 --> 00:01:50,981
breathe, hold on.

23
00:01:57,582 --> 00:01:58,856
There you go. See?

24
00:02:00,982 --> 00:02:02,022
Now tell me what happened.

25
00:02:02,062 --> 00:02:04,212
Peter left the top
of the ant farm open.

26
00:02:04,342 --> 00:02:06,537
All the ants are gone,
even the big red one.

27
00:02:07,822 --> 00:02:10,256
Oh, why?
Why did I buy this for you guys?

28
00:02:10,342 --> 00:02:11,741
I swear, I don't...

29
00:02:11,822 --> 00:02:13,938
Hey, hey, hey, Peter,
where did that come from?

30
00:02:14,102 --> 00:02:16,491
You know no junk food
for breakfast anymore.

31
00:02:16,822 --> 00:02:18,460
Dad brought them.
He lets us.

32
00:02:18,982 --> 00:02:21,701
He also lets you go to
school without any underwear.

33
00:02:22,022 --> 00:02:23,934
It's called
free-balling, Mom.

34
00:02:24,503 --> 00:02:27,017
I swear.
Where are all of these ants?

35
00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:28,199
It happened in the backyard.

36
00:02:28,223 --> 00:02:30,293
God. Peter, I'm not kidding.
I'm counting to three.

37
00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:31,896
One, two...

38
00:02:31,983 --> 00:02:32,983
Three.

39
00:02:33,863 --> 00:02:36,616
What?
When did that stop working?

40
00:02:36,703 --> 00:02:38,614
Come on,
I brought a box of donuts.

41
00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:40,011
It's not a federal offense,

42
00:02:40,103 --> 00:02:42,742
but I will take credit
for the underwear.

43
00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:47,375
Good morning.
Hello.

44
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,613
Did you look this good
when we were married?

45
00:02:50,703 --> 00:02:52,659
No, I actually got better.

46
00:02:53,263 --> 00:02:55,618
When did you get in here?
I didn't even hear you come in.

47
00:02:55,703 --> 00:02:57,421
Came in through
the back door.

48
00:02:57,503 --> 00:02:59,960
I mean, we don't want the neighbors
talking, do we?

49
00:02:59,984 --> 00:03:01,463
Hmm. Are you hungry?

50
00:03:01,544 --> 00:03:02,544
Mmm.

51
00:03:02,664 --> 00:03:04,222
Here, have a donut.

52
00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:07,140
Your parents are divorced,
right?

53
00:03:07,224 --> 00:03:08,976
Oh, trust me,
there's weirdness.

54
00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:11,624
So, Peter, you decided
to invite your friends over

55
00:03:11,744 --> 00:03:13,416
at 7:45 in the morning?

56
00:03:13,504 --> 00:03:14,504
Hi.

57
00:03:14,784 --> 00:03:16,456
We're meeting here
for the carpool today.

58
00:03:16,584 --> 00:03:18,336
- And the donuts.
- At my request.

59
00:03:19,144 --> 00:03:21,897
All right, you little hooligans,
let's go, time for school.

60
00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:23,019
Load up.

61
00:03:24,224 --> 00:03:27,136
Please, you cannot bring this
stuff into the house anymore.

62
00:03:27,984 --> 00:03:32,774
Yeah, but, uh, seriously,
could we have a conversation later?

63
00:03:33,224 --> 00:03:35,739
There's something important
I need to talk to you about.

64
00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:38,256
Sure, okay.

65
00:03:39,745 --> 00:03:40,894
Okay.

66
00:03:41,145 --> 00:03:42,498
Telephone.

67
00:03:44,905 --> 00:03:45,940
Hey, Jess.

68
00:03:46,025 --> 00:03:49,017
I ate a whole
coffee cake last night.

69
00:03:49,105 --> 00:03:50,140
Pilates?

70
00:03:50,225 --> 00:03:51,817
No, I can't.
I have way too much work.

71
00:03:51,905 --> 00:03:53,921
But I've got to tell you,
the strangest thing just happened.

72
00:03:53,945 --> 00:03:54,945
What?

73
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:58,421
I think I just caught Henry
totally checking me out,

74
00:03:58,505 --> 00:03:59,574
like twice.

75
00:03:59,665 --> 00:04:03,260
Was it like a long stare
or a gawk?

76
00:04:03,625 --> 00:04:05,456
Jesse, you've got to see this!

77
00:04:06,585 --> 00:04:08,940
I'm going to say like a gawk.

78
00:04:11,026 --> 00:04:12,175
What does that mean?

79
00:04:12,306 --> 00:04:14,602
I have no idea, but he said he
wants to sit down with me later

80
00:04:14,626 --> 00:04:17,140
and talk about
something important.

81
00:04:17,626 --> 00:04:19,218
What if he wants to
get back together?

82
00:04:19,306 --> 00:04:20,500
What? No. No way.

83
00:04:20,586 --> 00:04:21,762
I'm coming, I'm coming.

84
00:04:21,786 --> 00:04:23,060
That is so not happening.

85
00:04:23,146 --> 00:04:24,704
Why not?
Jesse.

86
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:27,584
You are the happiest
divorced couple I've ever met.

87
00:04:27,666 --> 00:04:29,418
I mean, maybe he's
figured you're the one.

88
00:04:29,586 --> 00:04:31,417
Max, get ready,
my sister's coming.

89
00:04:31,586 --> 00:04:34,225
No, no, no, no, no, no,
there's no way.

90
00:04:34,306 --> 00:04:37,378
That's not going to...
It's been years, it's all fine and...

91
00:04:37,466 --> 00:04:39,202
You don't really...
Really, you think it might be?

92
00:04:39,226 --> 00:04:41,217
Do you think?
Here's what I'm wondering.

93
00:04:41,426 --> 00:04:45,215
If you guys get remarried,
does it mean the ring has to be bigger?

94
00:04:45,307 --> 00:04:46,899
I'm saying yes.

95
00:04:47,027 --> 00:04:48,627
Okay, you just keep
thinking all of those

96
00:04:48,707 --> 00:04:50,220
wonderfully deep
thoughts, okay?

97
00:04:50,347 --> 00:04:51,826
I'll talk to you later.

98
00:04:52,907 --> 00:04:54,818
Okay.

99
00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:59,778
Presenting our float
for the Mother's Day parade.

100
00:04:59,907 --> 00:05:01,340
Oh!

101
00:05:06,387 --> 00:05:07,502
Wow!

102
00:05:07,747 --> 00:05:09,624
Do you love it?
What is it?

103
00:05:09,707 --> 00:05:13,063
Womb. It's a womb.

104
00:05:13,427 --> 00:05:14,985
Of course.

105
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,540
It's a womb float.

106
00:05:16,627 --> 00:05:19,539
Amazing. And so,
the tube?

107
00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:21,668
The umbilical cord.

108
00:05:21,748 --> 00:05:24,103
It's symbolic that we all
come from the same place,

109
00:05:24,188 --> 00:05:27,260
gay, straight, transgender,
black, white, purple, you know.

110
00:05:27,348 --> 00:05:28,463
Awesome.

111
00:05:29,308 --> 00:05:30,661
I love it.

112
00:05:30,788 --> 00:05:32,983
You're going to kill it
at the Mother's Day parade.

113
00:05:33,148 --> 00:05:34,924
Seriously, they're not going
to know what to do with it.

114
00:05:34,948 --> 00:05:36,267
You haven't seen
the best part.

115
00:05:38,388 --> 00:05:42,984
Oh, look at that!
I delivered a child for the second time.

116
00:05:43,388 --> 00:05:45,618
Wow! It's a boy.

117
00:05:45,708 --> 00:05:47,141
You've lost your mind.

118
00:05:48,828 --> 00:05:50,788
I'm going to go work out.
I'll be right over here.

119
00:05:53,308 --> 00:05:54,308
You good?

120
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:55,388
All good, Val.

121
00:05:56,069 --> 00:05:57,069
Hey, Zack.

122
00:05:57,989 --> 00:05:59,469
Another week,
you won't need the tray.

123
00:05:59,589 --> 00:06:01,525
Another week, and you and
Kristin will be doing my shift.

124
00:06:01,549 --> 00:06:02,549
Hey, Val.

125
00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:04,665
Hey, Kristin. Hey.

126
00:06:04,749 --> 00:06:06,228
Hi, Daddy!

127
00:06:06,589 --> 00:06:07,589
Ooh.

128
00:06:07,669 --> 00:06:09,500
No, no, no, we sanitize.

129
00:06:09,589 --> 00:06:10,869
I literally just
washed my hands.

130
00:06:10,909 --> 00:06:11,978
Doesn't matter.

131
00:06:12,069 --> 00:06:13,741
I could always
wear a hazmat suit.

132
00:06:13,909 --> 00:06:15,388
I'd love that.

133
00:06:15,469 --> 00:06:17,539
The baby books call that
being a helicopter mom.

134
00:06:17,629 --> 00:06:18,744
You know, always hovering.

135
00:06:18,829 --> 00:06:20,069
Yeah, I've been
called them all,

136
00:06:20,109 --> 00:06:21,309
and it doesn't
faze me one bit.

137
00:06:22,509 --> 00:06:25,262
Milk bottles for tonight.

138
00:06:25,349 --> 00:06:27,189
Can you put those in the
fridge for me, please?

139
00:06:27,269 --> 00:06:29,021
Um, that may not work.

140
00:06:29,109 --> 00:06:30,109
I just found out...

141
00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:31,987
Hey, Zack,
can I get two more?

142
00:06:32,430 --> 00:06:34,421
Yep, on the way. Beanzie?

143
00:06:34,910 --> 00:06:37,663
I got accepted into the Buckhead
Standup Comedy Contest.

144
00:06:37,790 --> 00:06:39,906
First round's tonight,
three rounds,

145
00:06:39,990 --> 00:06:41,309
first prize is 5 grand.

146
00:06:42,230 --> 00:06:45,506
Babe, that would take my overall
earnings as a comic to,

147
00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:46,779
well, 5 grand.

148
00:06:46,870 --> 00:06:48,950
Just getting accepted into
the contest is a big deal.

149
00:06:49,030 --> 00:06:51,126
Yeah, of course,
I will figure something out with Katie.

150
00:06:51,150 --> 00:06:53,186
Don't worry.
Just go make 'em laugh.

151
00:06:53,470 --> 00:06:55,540
I'm not paying you
to reproduce again.

152
00:06:55,630 --> 00:06:56,630
Sorry, boss.

153
00:06:56,710 --> 00:06:58,905
But don't mind me,
I'm just the owner.

154
00:07:02,670 --> 00:07:04,547
Vicky,
don't kick the ball in here.

155
00:07:04,630 --> 00:07:06,029
Okay, okay.

156
00:07:11,791 --> 00:07:13,144
Thank you.

157
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:20,462
Can't believe it's
already been a year.

158
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:23,659
This will be our
first one without her.

159
00:07:25,471 --> 00:07:26,870
I miss her.

160
00:07:29,671 --> 00:07:30,865
Me, too.

161
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,150
Who's that?

162
00:07:38,231 --> 00:07:40,381
Just a friend,
wondering if I'll be

163
00:07:40,471 --> 00:07:42,508
at the mall
today after school.

164
00:07:42,592 --> 00:07:43,707
I've got to answer him.

165
00:07:43,992 --> 00:07:48,065
Is this "him" your,
uh, boyfriend?

166
00:07:48,192 --> 00:07:49,420
Dad, stop. Please.

167
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:50,512
What?
Oh, my God.

168
00:07:50,592 --> 00:07:51,911
Seems like
a reasonable question

169
00:07:52,032 --> 00:07:53,784
for a father to
ask his daughter.

170
00:07:53,872 --> 00:07:55,590
Hey, Vicky,
you know, we should go.

171
00:07:55,672 --> 00:07:57,151
We're going to be
late for school,

172
00:07:57,232 --> 00:07:59,621
and you, don't be late
for soccer practice this time.

173
00:08:00,032 --> 00:08:01,226
I won't.

174
00:08:02,432 --> 00:08:04,662
Mom was never
late for practice.

175
00:08:10,592 --> 00:08:11,991
No, she wasn't.

176
00:08:17,513 --> 00:08:18,866
Can I drive?

177
00:08:19,273 --> 00:08:20,547
Absolutely not.

178
00:08:20,713 --> 00:08:23,209
No, look, we're all going to end
up in a place like this someday.

179
00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:24,593
All right?
I don't want to rush it.

180
00:08:25,473 --> 00:08:26,508
What?

181
00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:29,471
That was just like
the old Dad, making jokes.

182
00:08:30,073 --> 00:08:31,506
Yeah, I guess.

183
00:08:32,233 --> 00:08:33,632
So, listen, Dad.

184
00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:36,147
After I get my license,
could I maybe, you know,

185
00:08:36,233 --> 00:08:37,905
drive Mom's Volkswagen?

186
00:08:38,313 --> 00:08:40,249
No, no, no, I'm going to sell it.
I told you that.

187
00:08:40,273 --> 00:08:41,672
Come on, Dad.
Pretty please?

188
00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:43,511
It's literally just
sitting in the garage.

189
00:08:43,593 --> 00:08:44,992
Absolutely not.

190
00:08:45,633 --> 00:08:48,352
Well, thanks for
thinking that over. Great.

191
00:08:50,153 --> 00:08:51,188
I'm Adam Freeman.

192
00:08:51,273 --> 00:08:54,027
Thanks for joining me here
on HSN from our headquarters

193
00:08:54,114 --> 00:08:55,866
in St. Petersburg, Florida.

194
00:08:55,954 --> 00:08:59,026
Right now, I would like to send
it over to Atlanta, Georgia,

195
00:08:59,114 --> 00:09:01,947
where the very lovely Miranda
Collins is on her book tour.

196
00:09:02,034 --> 00:09:03,353
Hello, Adam.

197
00:09:03,434 --> 00:09:04,503
Hello, Atlanta.

198
00:09:04,594 --> 00:09:05,993
Hello, viewers.

199
00:09:06,074 --> 00:09:08,588
So, Mother's Day
is getting so close,

200
00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:12,747
and we have these gorgeous
crystal mood pendants.

201
00:09:13,274 --> 00:09:14,787
It is the perfect
gift for Mom.

202
00:09:14,874 --> 00:09:18,025
These genuine quartz
crystal mood pendants

203
00:09:18,114 --> 00:09:20,264
change color with your mood.

204
00:09:20,354 --> 00:09:22,265
Now, wouldn't it
be nice to know

205
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:25,790
if your mom is
happy or sad or mad?

206
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,795
Oh, we have just sold
our 800th pendant!

207
00:09:29,875 --> 00:09:30,910
Bingo!

208
00:09:34,555 --> 00:09:36,944
Oh, God, I know that look.

209
00:09:37,275 --> 00:09:38,549
You hate the float.

210
00:09:38,635 --> 00:09:41,274
No, it's not the float.

211
00:09:42,475 --> 00:09:43,988
It's just all this
Mother's Day stuff

212
00:09:44,075 --> 00:09:46,091
and I start thinking about
how I haven't talked to Mom.

213
00:09:46,115 --> 00:09:50,154
I don't even remember what our
stupid argument was about.

214
00:09:50,235 --> 00:09:51,588
Oh, let me
refresh your memory.

215
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:53,211
She saw a picture of you
and Russell on Facebook,

216
00:09:53,235 --> 00:09:55,908
and even though he's a doctor,
she threatened to disown you

217
00:09:56,035 --> 00:09:58,993
if you continue to date a man whose
skin was darker than a Frappuccino.

218
00:09:59,075 --> 00:10:00,986
Okay, I get it.

219
00:10:03,556 --> 00:10:04,955
Look, you can always call her,

220
00:10:05,036 --> 00:10:07,869
not that I understand why you
would want to, or Skype.

221
00:10:08,036 --> 00:10:09,389
She's into that now.

222
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:11,387
Our parents have the Internet?

223
00:10:11,476 --> 00:10:13,387
How do they do that
with a rotary phone?

224
00:10:13,476 --> 00:10:15,944
Hmm. Fancier trailer park?

225
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:19,189
Well, when are you planning on
telling them about you and Max?

226
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:20,836
Never.

227
00:10:20,876 --> 00:10:22,532
I'm engaged to an investment
banker named Steven.

228
00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:23,716
We have not set the date yet.

229
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:25,132
He has low sperm count
and I'm in therapy.

230
00:10:25,156 --> 00:10:26,156
That's my story.

231
00:10:26,236 --> 00:10:30,354
Maybe if you tell them about you two
first, it'll soften the blow for me.

232
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:33,953
Don't even try to piggyback
your secret on my secret.

233
00:10:34,116 --> 00:10:36,391
Besides, she's in Texas.
We're fine.

234
00:10:36,676 --> 00:10:38,314
Yeah, we're fine,

235
00:10:39,717 --> 00:10:41,947
just motherless
this time of year.

236
00:10:42,037 --> 00:10:44,073
There's a reason we
moved here to Georgia.

237
00:10:44,157 --> 00:10:45,590
She ruins everything,
remember?

238
00:10:45,677 --> 00:10:48,191
I mean, at least
everything we let her.

239
00:10:48,557 --> 00:10:50,627
I just feel like
we don't have family.

240
00:10:51,957 --> 00:10:54,915
I'm your sister.
I live next door to you.

241
00:10:55,877 --> 00:10:57,629
Thank you very much.

242
00:11:03,477 --> 00:11:04,546
Thanks.

243
00:11:04,637 --> 00:11:05,786
Little hot, careful.

244
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:07,917
Mmm.

245
00:11:08,517 --> 00:11:09,950
It's really hot.

246
00:11:13,997 --> 00:11:16,910
What did you
want to talk about?

247
00:11:16,998 --> 00:11:19,558
Sounded so important.

248
00:11:20,398 --> 00:11:23,151
Uh...

249
00:11:25,438 --> 00:11:27,315
Oh, my God, what is it?

250
00:11:27,398 --> 00:11:28,717
I, uh...

251
00:11:31,318 --> 00:11:32,318
I, um...

252
00:11:33,238 --> 00:11:34,591
I got married.

253
00:11:36,638 --> 00:11:37,912
Eloped, actually.

254
00:11:39,678 --> 00:11:41,191
Very impulsive.

255
00:11:43,598 --> 00:11:44,826
You got married?

256
00:11:44,918 --> 00:11:46,067
Yeah.

257
00:11:47,518 --> 00:11:49,475
You got... To who?

258
00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:51,078
To Tina.

259
00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:52,708
To Tina?

260
00:11:52,999 --> 00:11:54,114
Yeah, to Tina.

261
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:56,279
To Tina?

262
00:11:56,719 --> 00:11:57,719
Stop saying, "To Tina."

263
00:11:57,799 --> 00:12:02,827
I'm sorry,
I'm so confused right now.

264
00:12:02,919 --> 00:12:05,513
I mean, I thought
you guys broke up so long ago.

265
00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:06,599
We did.

266
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:08,472
But then there
was that stripper.

267
00:12:08,959 --> 00:12:10,438
Dancer, yeah.

268
00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:11,628
Stripper.

269
00:12:11,759 --> 00:12:16,037
And then, Tina and I
got back together.

270
00:12:16,399 --> 00:12:17,878
How does this...

271
00:12:17,959 --> 00:12:19,438
Wow. You got back together.

272
00:12:21,639 --> 00:12:23,118
She's the one.

273
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,080
Ah.

274
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,720
Well, let's say the next one.

275
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:30,635
Right.

276
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,870
You know, I've always respected
the agreement we've had

277
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,598
to keep our
love lives separate

278
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,750
until they become permanent,

279
00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:41,479
which now it has.

280
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:47,233
Okay, so,
when do we tell the boys?

281
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,276
Oh, I already told them
on the way to school.

282
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,556
What? You already told them?

283
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:54,755
Yeah.

284
00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:58,437
On the way to school,
with those other children in the car?

285
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,718
No, I waited till
those kids got out.

286
00:13:01,801 --> 00:13:03,439
Oh, you did, good.
That's good.

287
00:13:03,561 --> 00:13:07,474
So, that was a really nice,
well-thought-out moment for you guys.

288
00:13:07,561 --> 00:13:09,677
That's nice.
Thanks for waiting for me.

289
00:13:10,201 --> 00:13:12,032
They were excited.

290
00:13:12,561 --> 00:13:14,358
They know her.
They really like her.

291
00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:16,276
Okay.

292
00:13:19,321 --> 00:13:21,357
Well...

293
00:13:23,841 --> 00:13:26,753
Oh, gosh, I have to, um...

294
00:13:26,841 --> 00:13:28,957
I have to meet
Jess at Pilates.

295
00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:30,440
Sorry, I don't mean to...

296
00:13:30,521 --> 00:13:31,920
No, no, no.

297
00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:34,497
I wanted to make sure
you heard it from me first.

298
00:13:34,521 --> 00:13:36,035
Yes, I know, I know.

299
00:13:36,802 --> 00:13:38,030
Okay, well, um...

300
00:13:39,042 --> 00:13:40,042
Uh...

301
00:13:40,842 --> 00:13:42,400
I'm happy for you.

302
00:13:42,842 --> 00:13:44,161
Thank you.

303
00:14:04,082 --> 00:14:06,550
Hi, Bradley. Are you going to
join us on the poles today?

304
00:14:06,642 --> 00:14:08,712
Uh, not today,
Beth Anne, no.

305
00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:11,077
Sisters.

306
00:14:19,883 --> 00:14:21,521
We want to talk to you.
Go, Jody.

307
00:14:21,603 --> 00:14:24,675
Bradley, there's this new mom at
school we want to set you up with.

308
00:14:24,843 --> 00:14:25,843
She's recently divorced.

309
00:14:25,923 --> 00:14:26,923
Not too recent.

310
00:14:27,003 --> 00:14:29,915
With one of those annoyingly
perfect lives-at-the-gym bodies.

311
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,317
But with boobs, big boobs.

312
00:14:31,443 --> 00:14:32,443
I mean big boobs.

313
00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:33,876
Look, ladies,
I really appreciate

314
00:14:33,963 --> 00:14:35,681
you looking out
for me like this,

315
00:14:35,763 --> 00:14:38,152
but I just don't think
I'm ready quite yet, you know?

316
00:14:38,283 --> 00:14:40,443
But when I am, I will definitely
come talk to you guys.

317
00:14:40,483 --> 00:14:41,962
It'd be dumb not to.

318
00:14:42,283 --> 00:14:44,035
What are your plans
for Mother's Day?

319
00:14:44,603 --> 00:14:45,603
Oh, um...

320
00:14:46,724 --> 00:14:49,557
No plans.
We're not celebrating.

321
00:14:49,924 --> 00:14:52,722
I've been thinking about this
long and hard and believe me,

322
00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:54,522
I think what's
best for the girls

323
00:14:54,604 --> 00:14:56,356
is to just skip
the day altogether.

324
00:14:56,444 --> 00:15:00,278
You know, just treat it like a normal
Sunday, nothing special. You know?

325
00:15:00,364 --> 00:15:02,434
What do you guys
think about that?

326
00:15:03,324 --> 00:15:05,633
Absolutely not. No.
Major mistake, Bradley.

327
00:15:05,844 --> 00:15:08,438
Dana would not like that.
Think about the kids.

328
00:15:09,364 --> 00:15:10,804
You guys, look!
It's Miranda!

329
00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:12,220
Am I really on with
the Miranda Collins?

330
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:15,122
Am I really on with
the Edith from Waukesha?

331
00:15:15,204 --> 00:15:16,273
Go ahead, Edith.

332
00:15:16,404 --> 00:15:18,964
Could I see the
bracelet a bit closer, please?

333
00:15:20,964 --> 00:15:22,193
My pleasure.

334
00:15:24,645 --> 00:15:26,397
How's that, Edith?

335
00:15:26,485 --> 00:15:29,204
Ooh, that's lovely.
I'll take two.

336
00:15:29,325 --> 00:15:32,158
And it won't cost you an arm and a leg.

337
00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:34,844
Perfect. Good.

338
00:15:34,965 --> 00:15:36,398
Nice crisp passes, guys!

339
00:15:36,485 --> 00:15:39,238
My mom said your mom was
lieutenant in the Marines

340
00:15:39,325 --> 00:15:40,917
and your dad
was a Marine, too?

341
00:15:41,005 --> 00:15:42,757
Yeah, he was
a master sergeant.

342
00:15:42,845 --> 00:15:44,325
Come on,
we've got to hustle.

343
00:15:44,365 --> 00:15:45,639
He sure knows
how to yell.

344
00:15:45,725 --> 00:15:47,821
Kick it to where they're going to be,
not where they are

345
00:15:47,845 --> 00:15:50,181
because they'll be gone from
there by the time it gets there!

346
00:15:50,205 --> 00:15:51,923
Leaner, come on, Rach.

347
00:15:52,005 --> 00:15:53,438
Case in point!

348
00:15:53,805 --> 00:15:55,397
Rachel, you've got
to hustle. Come on.

349
00:15:55,485 --> 00:15:56,600
Hey!

350
00:15:56,685 --> 00:15:58,836
Thank you, Vicky.
Thank you for your help.

351
00:15:58,926 --> 00:16:00,359
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

352
00:16:00,446 --> 00:16:02,835
Hey, Evelyn,
what are you doing?

353
00:16:03,006 --> 00:16:04,962
Are you texting?
Are you?

354
00:16:05,246 --> 00:16:07,316
Yeah, there's no
texting in soccer, okay?

355
00:16:07,406 --> 00:16:10,239
I mean, there's running
and jumping, eye contact,

356
00:16:10,326 --> 00:16:11,600
laughing, there's even crying.

357
00:16:11,686 --> 00:16:12,721
There's no texting.

358
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:14,319
Please, put that away,
all right?

359
00:16:14,406 --> 00:16:15,839
Hey, hey, hey!

360
00:16:18,646 --> 00:16:19,874
What?

361
00:16:19,966 --> 00:16:21,524
Thomas is
watching you.

362
00:16:23,246 --> 00:16:25,760
Yeah, watching me
screw up, thank you.

363
00:16:27,566 --> 00:16:28,999
Back to soccer!

364
00:16:31,566 --> 00:16:33,319
I guess that's
Tommy there, all right.

365
00:16:33,927 --> 00:16:35,565
Let's go!

366
00:16:35,887 --> 00:16:37,807
All right, go, let's go!
Come on!

367
00:16:38,727 --> 00:16:39,921
Here we go.

368
00:16:40,087 --> 00:16:41,122
Nice!

369
00:16:41,207 --> 00:16:43,596
- Rachel's open!
- Chase it down, that's it.

370
00:16:43,927 --> 00:16:46,441
Hey, goal!

371
00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:47,755
Nicely done.

372
00:16:47,847 --> 00:16:51,078
Evelyn, please text my daughter,
"Good job." Thank you.

373
00:16:51,767 --> 00:16:53,837
She is online.
You ready?

374
00:16:53,927 --> 00:16:55,599
Yeah, I'm ready.
Oh.

375
00:16:56,247 --> 00:16:57,965
Take that down.

376
00:17:01,847 --> 00:17:03,075
Hey, Ma, it's Gabi.

377
00:17:03,807 --> 00:17:05,399
Can you read me?

378
00:17:06,247 --> 00:17:08,239
Not a walkie-talkie,
Mom.

379
00:17:08,968 --> 00:17:11,482
I thought this Escape thing is
supposed to let me see people.

380
00:17:11,608 --> 00:17:12,643
I don't see diddly.

381
00:17:12,728 --> 00:17:15,686
It's "Skype, " not "Escape."
Now just press "start video."

382
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:16,803
I did.

383
00:17:16,888 --> 00:17:19,163
Try again.
Click the picture of the video camera.

384
00:17:19,248 --> 00:17:20,681
Well, I don't have
one of them.

385
00:17:20,768 --> 00:17:21,962
Yes, you do, Mom.

386
00:17:22,048 --> 00:17:24,562
No, I do not have
a damn picture of a video...

387
00:17:25,448 --> 00:17:27,484
- Okay, I did.
- Hi.

388
00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:29,524
Oh, you got the crystal.
I sent it early.

389
00:17:29,608 --> 00:17:31,608
Didn't want to risk it being
late for Mother's Day.

390
00:17:31,728 --> 00:17:33,584
I know I'd never
hear the end of that.

391
00:17:33,608 --> 00:17:34,882
Oh, I love it.

392
00:17:35,128 --> 00:17:38,006
I'm not so sure about this
color-changing mumbo jumbo.

393
00:17:38,088 --> 00:17:42,001
Oh, and I love that TV
shopping host, Miranda.

394
00:17:42,088 --> 00:17:43,920
Do you know anybody
who knows her?

395
00:17:44,009 --> 00:17:45,806
She's in a hotel in Atlanta.

396
00:17:46,849 --> 00:17:48,441
Uh, no, I don't.

397
00:17:48,529 --> 00:17:51,362
But, um, there's someone
here who knows you.

398
00:17:52,969 --> 00:17:54,569
I can't do it.

399
00:17:54,649 --> 00:17:56,265
You don't have to do it.
Where did she go?

400
00:17:56,289 --> 00:17:57,881
All I see is bricks.

401
00:17:57,969 --> 00:17:59,527
Hello?

402
00:17:59,609 --> 00:18:01,440
Hello?
Uh...

403
00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,120
Hi, Mom.

404
00:18:04,849 --> 00:18:05,849
Oh.

405
00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:07,318
Do I know you?

406
00:18:08,049 --> 00:18:09,687
It's nice to see you, too.

407
00:18:09,849 --> 00:18:12,727
Finally calling to apologize
after all this time.

408
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,886
Nope, just calling to call.

409
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:17,881
Gabi told me you're not dating
that Indian fellow anymore.

410
00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:19,409
Finally came to your senses.

411
00:18:19,530 --> 00:18:22,442
But I'm not going to rub your face
in it and say, "I told you so,"

412
00:18:22,530 --> 00:18:24,282
but I told you so.

413
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:25,883
Okay. Where's Dad?

414
00:18:26,410 --> 00:18:29,800
He's having lunch.

415
00:18:30,170 --> 00:18:31,523
Hi, Dad!

416
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,601
Oh!

417
00:18:33,690 --> 00:18:37,239
There's my little girl,
on the TV.

418
00:18:38,210 --> 00:18:40,519
I'm glad to see you
talking with your mama.

419
00:18:40,690 --> 00:18:42,681
'Bout time you apologized.

420
00:18:42,770 --> 00:18:44,044
Well, you're
looking good, Dad.

421
00:18:44,170 --> 00:18:45,523
No, he thinks so.

422
00:18:45,970 --> 00:18:49,280
Oh, I have to say, Jess,
you haven't aged that much.

423
00:18:49,370 --> 00:18:50,370
Thank you.

424
00:18:50,410 --> 00:18:51,826
How come you can't
find a successful man

425
00:18:51,850 --> 00:18:53,807
like your sister did,
that Steven fellow?

426
00:18:53,891 --> 00:18:56,451
I mean, believe me,
I love Gabi,

427
00:18:56,531 --> 00:18:58,761
but she looks way too
much like your father

428
00:18:58,851 --> 00:19:00,842
to be the one to
catch a man first.

429
00:19:01,531 --> 00:19:02,566
Thanks, Mom.

430
00:19:04,251 --> 00:19:07,448
Well, I called to say hi

431
00:19:07,531 --> 00:19:09,283
and I also called to tell you

432
00:19:09,371 --> 00:19:14,399
that no matter what's happened between us,
you're always my mother.

433
00:19:16,691 --> 00:19:20,001
So, I wanted
to tell you about...

434
00:19:22,331 --> 00:19:24,083
What?

435
00:19:24,251 --> 00:19:26,719
Hey, look, it's Mommy
and Aunt Gabi.

436
00:19:26,811 --> 00:19:27,721
I've got to go.
I've got to go.

437
00:19:27,811 --> 00:19:28,907
You want to tell me
about what?

438
00:19:28,931 --> 00:19:31,366
- Hi, you wanna see her?
- Hi, guys. Hi.

439
00:19:31,492 --> 00:19:33,005
And she's gone.

440
00:19:33,092 --> 00:19:35,401
Well, at least
she called you.

441
00:19:36,132 --> 00:19:37,360
Maybe she got a date.

442
00:19:37,452 --> 00:19:39,363
Hi, sweetie.
Hey, bubs.

443
00:19:39,452 --> 00:19:40,548
Who were you
talking to?

444
00:19:40,572 --> 00:19:41,572
Snapchatting.

445
00:19:41,612 --> 00:19:43,170
Oh, what are you, 12?

446
00:19:43,252 --> 00:19:44,731
No, it's fun.

447
00:19:45,932 --> 00:19:48,446
This is so
exciting, you guys!

448
00:19:49,252 --> 00:19:53,768
Your first sleepover with
Dad and his new person.

449
00:19:54,292 --> 00:19:55,805
What do you want
us to call her?

450
00:19:55,892 --> 00:19:57,644
Do you want us to
call her "Mom," too?

451
00:19:57,732 --> 00:19:59,290
No, absolutely not.

452
00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:01,602
You just call her
what comes naturally,

453
00:20:01,732 --> 00:20:03,927
but I would say
"ma'am" is good.

454
00:20:05,213 --> 00:20:07,932
Hey!

455
00:20:08,253 --> 00:20:09,527
What's up, boys?

456
00:20:09,613 --> 00:20:10,762
Hey, Henry.
Yeah?

457
00:20:10,853 --> 00:20:11,853
Hi, Sandy.

458
00:20:11,933 --> 00:20:13,082
Hi, Tina.

459
00:20:13,173 --> 00:20:14,288
Hi, boys.

460
00:20:14,533 --> 00:20:16,285
Hi.
Wow!

461
00:20:16,453 --> 00:20:18,444
Oh, gosh,
congratulations.

462
00:20:18,973 --> 00:20:20,964
Thank you.
Isn't it so exciting?

463
00:20:21,093 --> 00:20:22,845
It's thrilling.

464
00:20:22,933 --> 00:20:24,969
I thought you'd
moved back to LA.

465
00:20:25,053 --> 00:20:26,053
Yeah, just
for a minute.

466
00:20:26,133 --> 00:20:27,361
Ah. People said
I should model.

467
00:20:27,453 --> 00:20:29,125
Yeah.

468
00:20:29,253 --> 00:20:31,369
But somebody convinced me
to move back here.

469
00:20:32,573 --> 00:20:34,211
Boys, I made cookies.

470
00:20:34,293 --> 00:20:37,444
For Peter, guitars,
and for Mikey, baseballs.

471
00:20:37,573 --> 00:20:39,325
Thanks.
Oh. Thanks, Tina.

472
00:20:39,413 --> 00:20:40,563
These are great.

473
00:20:40,654 --> 00:20:42,007
Yeah, come on inside.

474
00:20:42,094 --> 00:20:43,607
Okay, bye, guys.

475
00:20:43,694 --> 00:20:44,990
- Have fun.
- See you tomorrow.

476
00:20:45,014 --> 00:20:46,527
Bye, Sandy.
Oh, um...

477
00:20:46,654 --> 00:20:48,610
Tweet at me if you want to
check in or anything,

478
00:20:48,694 --> 00:20:50,093
or check my Instagram.

479
00:20:50,174 --> 00:20:51,950
I'll post some photos
when I get some cute ones.

480
00:20:51,974 --> 00:20:54,124
Yeah, that's exciting.
Okay.

481
00:20:57,254 --> 00:20:59,165
"Tweet at me."

482
00:21:02,334 --> 00:21:04,723
She just... Did she just
say, "Tweet at me"? Did she?

483
00:21:04,814 --> 00:21:06,110
I think she just said,
"Tweet me."

484
00:21:06,134 --> 00:21:07,806
I didn't hear that.
Oh, Henry.

485
00:21:08,254 --> 00:21:10,085
Oh, come on.
I knew she was younger, but...

486
00:21:10,174 --> 00:21:11,448
She's almost 30.

487
00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:13,883
"She's almost 30"?
In a few years.

488
00:21:13,974 --> 00:21:15,124
My God.

489
00:21:15,215 --> 00:21:16,887
And what is she wearing?

490
00:21:17,255 --> 00:21:18,574
Uh...

491
00:21:18,815 --> 00:21:20,407
What do you
want me to do?

492
00:21:20,495 --> 00:21:22,213
Ask her to dress
more dowdy?

493
00:21:22,295 --> 00:21:26,334
No, just tell her to dress,
put on a pair of pants.

494
00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:28,610
That's not appropriate
for those kids.

495
00:21:28,695 --> 00:21:30,253
You can see
everything's popping out.

496
00:21:30,335 --> 00:21:31,927
Speaking of the kids.
What?

497
00:21:32,015 --> 00:21:33,084
Mother's Day.

498
00:21:33,175 --> 00:21:35,086
What about Mother's Day?

499
00:21:35,175 --> 00:21:39,088
I was wondering if we could
take the kids for half the day

500
00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:41,251
since Tina is
now technically...

501
00:21:41,335 --> 00:21:42,484
Oh, stop.

502
00:21:42,575 --> 00:21:45,408
No, no, no,
don't even say it, no.

503
00:21:45,495 --> 00:21:47,053
You know what I mean.
No, no, no, no.

504
00:21:47,135 --> 00:21:48,534
You got married
five seconds ago.

505
00:21:48,615 --> 00:21:50,925
Can you just... Can we just
slow this down a little bit?

506
00:21:51,016 --> 00:21:52,244
You're angry.
It's all right.

507
00:21:52,336 --> 00:21:54,531
Well, at least consider
it for the boys' sake.

508
00:21:54,616 --> 00:21:56,288
I just did.
Okay.

509
00:21:56,376 --> 00:21:57,376
You can...

510
00:21:57,456 --> 00:22:00,653
She can have Flag Day,
Groundhog Day,

511
00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:02,727
any of those days,
Father's Day.

512
00:22:03,336 --> 00:22:05,008
Well, I was just asking.

513
00:22:05,096 --> 00:22:06,575
Yeah, I know,
and you did.

514
00:22:06,656 --> 00:22:07,975
Unbelievable.

515
00:22:17,256 --> 00:22:19,133
I'm sorry to interrupt
your spa,

516
00:22:19,256 --> 00:22:22,885
but Miranda's agent, Lance Wallace,
wants to see you right away.

517
00:22:23,936 --> 00:22:25,688
Lance, I'm here.
I'm here. Okay, okay.

518
00:22:25,776 --> 00:22:27,654
Miranda okays
the book-signing poster,

519
00:22:27,737 --> 00:22:29,568
and the essay
winners are ready.

520
00:22:29,657 --> 00:22:31,897
All right, now she wants to
know some interior designers.

521
00:22:31,937 --> 00:22:33,416
She hates the look
of the show.

522
00:22:33,497 --> 00:22:36,375
Well, we've gotten a few
requests from some designers.

523
00:22:36,457 --> 00:22:37,617
But this one
I liked the best.

524
00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:39,966
Her name is Sandy Newhouse.
All right, why?

525
00:22:40,057 --> 00:22:41,331
She lives in Atlanta.

526
00:22:41,417 --> 00:22:43,885
She's designed living rooms,
upscale restaurants,

527
00:22:43,977 --> 00:22:45,097
and a five-star hotel lobby.

528
00:22:45,177 --> 00:22:47,133
All right, well,
she looks smiley and happy.

529
00:22:47,217 --> 00:22:49,097
Make sure she meets Miranda
before we check out.

530
00:22:49,177 --> 00:22:50,849
Okay, and make-up...
Goal!

531
00:22:50,937 --> 00:22:52,609
Hey, hey, hey!

532
00:22:52,777 --> 00:22:54,176
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey!

533
00:22:54,377 --> 00:22:55,776
Hey there, Messi!

534
00:22:55,857 --> 00:22:57,654
This is not a stadium,
it's a lobby!

535
00:22:57,737 --> 00:22:58,737
No, no, no.
A lobby.

536
00:22:58,777 --> 00:23:01,338
These are the kids of the
big shot HSN executive.

537
00:23:01,418 --> 00:23:03,090
We're entertaining
them this week.

538
00:23:03,458 --> 00:23:05,130
Hey, mister,
can I have my ball back?

539
00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:08,376
There we go.
All right! Soccer rules!

540
00:23:08,458 --> 00:23:09,634
Soccer rules!

541
00:23:09,658 --> 00:23:11,354
Are they gonna be with us all week,
those kids?

542
00:23:11,378 --> 00:23:12,731
Yes, they are.

543
00:23:16,058 --> 00:23:19,334
Doin' it all for my baby

544
00:23:21,058 --> 00:23:23,856
'Cause he's as
fine as he can be

545
00:23:23,938 --> 00:23:25,530
Not him, it's you.

546
00:23:25,658 --> 00:23:27,057
Dad, dinner's ready.

547
00:23:27,138 --> 00:23:30,255
Doin' it all for my baby

548
00:23:30,818 --> 00:23:34,015
For everything
he does for me

549
00:23:34,098 --> 00:23:37,375
I'm doin' it,
doin' it, doin' it

550
00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:38,733
Doin' it, doin' it, yeah

551
00:23:38,819 --> 00:23:40,889
Doin' it, doin' it...

552
00:23:40,979 --> 00:23:42,332
Mom loved karaoke.

553
00:23:44,459 --> 00:23:45,494
Remember?

554
00:23:45,579 --> 00:23:47,615
Oh, yes, I certainly do.

555
00:23:47,939 --> 00:23:50,089
Come on,
let's eat, Dad. Come on.

556
00:23:50,179 --> 00:23:51,407
Let's go.

557
00:23:51,499 --> 00:23:52,648
Come on!

558
00:23:52,739 --> 00:23:54,650
Okay. Okay.
What are you doing?

559
00:23:59,019 --> 00:24:02,455
This karaoke video is
just for you, Bradley.

560
00:24:03,379 --> 00:24:06,655
And to my chubbos back home,
Rachel and Vicky.

561
00:24:07,339 --> 00:24:09,216
I love you so much.

562
00:24:09,579 --> 00:24:12,413
I'll be home before you know it.

563
00:24:14,980 --> 00:24:16,493
Love you.

564
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:17,899
Love you guys.

565
00:24:18,660 --> 00:24:21,538
Yeah, could you go to the
supermarket for me, please?

566
00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:24,980
Yeah, yeah, of course.

567
00:24:25,060 --> 00:24:27,733
I can, uh...
Yeah, what, uh...

568
00:24:29,380 --> 00:24:30,608
What do we need?

569
00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:32,770
Uh, we need juice, eggs...
Uh-huh.

570
00:24:32,860 --> 00:24:34,213
Eggs.

571
00:24:34,620 --> 00:24:36,690
Bread, of course.
Yup.

572
00:24:36,860 --> 00:24:39,977
Um, we need bananas and tampons.
Mmm-hmm.

573
00:24:40,060 --> 00:24:41,175
Yeah.

574
00:24:42,780 --> 00:24:44,418
Uh... Um...

575
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:46,128
What was that?

576
00:24:46,220 --> 00:24:47,220
Tampons.

577
00:24:47,301 --> 00:24:49,531
Maybe that's something
that can wait, you think?

578
00:24:49,781 --> 00:24:51,851
Uh... No.

579
00:24:51,941 --> 00:24:53,135
I'm just going
to write "T."

580
00:24:53,221 --> 00:24:54,290
I'll know what
that means.

581
00:24:54,381 --> 00:24:55,381
Okay, good.
Mmm-hmm.

582
00:24:55,421 --> 00:24:56,900
Okay, there you go.

583
00:24:57,421 --> 00:24:59,139
Oh, I miss you guys so much.

584
00:24:59,221 --> 00:25:01,530
Mom, we just saw you,
like, two hours ago.

585
00:25:01,621 --> 00:25:03,532
I know, I know,
but I love you,

586
00:25:03,621 --> 00:25:05,737
and I miss you
when you're not here.

587
00:25:06,621 --> 00:25:10,057
So... Hey, are you guys sure you
want to stay at Daddy's tonight

588
00:25:10,181 --> 00:25:12,172
because I could...
Bye, Mom.

589
00:25:12,261 --> 00:25:13,535
Okay, bye.

590
00:25:14,621 --> 00:25:16,418
Me, too, I'm in.

591
00:25:16,501 --> 00:25:20,653
- All in.
- One, two, three!

592
00:25:20,741 --> 00:25:22,140
Oh, my gosh.

593
00:25:22,221 --> 00:25:24,178
Oh, I won again.
No way.

594
00:25:33,622 --> 00:25:37,012
So, Mother's Day is coming and I
will be spending it with my mother.

595
00:25:37,102 --> 00:25:39,536
I brought her out
with my most recent boyfriend

596
00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:40,941
and he leaves
for the bathroom,

597
00:25:41,022 --> 00:25:42,853
not even out of earshot,
and she's like,

598
00:25:42,942 --> 00:25:44,078
"Well, he's
all right, I guess,

599
00:25:44,102 --> 00:25:46,422
"but is that the nose you want
to see on your little girl?"

600
00:25:47,862 --> 00:25:49,011
That's my time.

601
00:25:49,102 --> 00:25:51,172
Thank you so much, everyone.

602
00:25:51,262 --> 00:25:53,696
That was
Genevieve Joy.

603
00:25:53,782 --> 00:25:56,057
Once again,
ladies and gentlemen,

604
00:25:56,142 --> 00:25:58,213
welcome to the
Buckhead Comedy Contest

605
00:25:58,303 --> 00:26:01,215
with your host,
former used car legend

606
00:26:01,343 --> 00:26:05,575
and now comedy club owner,
Mr. Wally Burn.

607
00:26:05,663 --> 00:26:07,381
Thank you, thank you.

608
00:26:07,463 --> 00:26:09,215
All right, this next guy
coming out,

609
00:26:09,303 --> 00:26:11,863
he's a guy from
the island across the pond

610
00:26:11,983 --> 00:26:16,534
that gave us colonialism, Hugh Grant
and the plague.

611
00:26:16,623 --> 00:26:19,979
Please put your hands
together for Zack Zim.

612
00:26:20,143 --> 00:26:23,692
Zack Zim, have fun!

613
00:26:27,143 --> 00:26:30,977
Good evening, hey, I'm Zack,
originally from Britain,

614
00:26:31,063 --> 00:26:34,420
now living out here in Atlanta, Georgia,
with my girlfriend,

615
00:26:34,544 --> 00:26:37,297
my girlfriend who recently had a baby.

616
00:26:37,384 --> 00:26:39,375
No, uh, don't applaud.

617
00:26:39,464 --> 00:26:41,341
Um, it's not mine.

618
00:26:41,464 --> 00:26:43,739
No, she is, I hope.

619
00:26:45,024 --> 00:26:47,492
She's amazing.
My girlfriend is American,

620
00:26:47,584 --> 00:26:50,860
but she is desperate for our
child to have a British accent.

621
00:26:51,064 --> 00:26:53,737
That's all she wants.
She won't talk to our child, seriously.

622
00:26:53,824 --> 00:26:55,462
I have to read to
Katie every night.

623
00:26:55,544 --> 00:26:57,375
All the other kids
are watching Sesame Street.

624
00:26:57,464 --> 00:26:59,819
Our baby is sat down
in front of Downton Abbey.

625
00:27:01,024 --> 00:27:03,743
You notice I say
"girlfriend," five years,

626
00:27:03,824 --> 00:27:07,021
we're still not married,
and, boy, have I asked.

627
00:27:07,104 --> 00:27:09,096
It was a struggle enough
to get her to update

628
00:27:09,185 --> 00:27:10,857
her Facebook
profile from "single."

629
00:27:11,025 --> 00:27:13,664
I was like, "Five years,
we have a child together.

630
00:27:13,745 --> 00:27:16,498
"Couldn't you at least make it,
'it's complicated'?"

631
00:27:16,585 --> 00:27:17,984
And it makes
it awkward, though,

632
00:27:18,105 --> 00:27:19,936
like, how do you
introduce each other?

633
00:27:20,065 --> 00:27:21,418
When I introduce Kristin,

634
00:27:21,505 --> 00:27:23,655
I introduce her as
the light of my life,

635
00:27:23,785 --> 00:27:27,255
the song of my soul, the mother
of my child.

636
00:27:27,345 --> 00:27:29,495
And she introduces
me as her roommate.

637
00:27:32,425 --> 00:27:36,100
And a great big happy almost
Mother's Day to you terrific...

638
00:27:38,025 --> 00:27:39,060
Hey.

639
00:27:40,465 --> 00:27:43,901
Can we, um, just go back to the
not married thing for a sec?

640
00:27:43,985 --> 00:27:46,705
Oh, Come on,
please, I am so tired.

641
00:27:46,786 --> 00:27:47,980
I am so tired.

642
00:27:48,066 --> 00:27:52,184
I love you, Kristin,
and I do want to marry you.

643
00:27:52,306 --> 00:27:55,776
But I think I don't feel like
getting turned down anymore.

644
00:28:02,346 --> 00:28:06,100
There's something you're not telling me,
but you can.

645
00:28:06,666 --> 00:28:10,261
Whatever it is, we'll get through it,
if we're committed.

646
00:28:11,066 --> 00:28:12,499
I don't know.

647
00:28:13,266 --> 00:28:14,779
Zack, I just...

648
00:28:16,266 --> 00:28:18,461
I don't know. Um...

649
00:28:20,267 --> 00:28:22,223
I don't know either.

650
00:28:23,387 --> 00:28:26,777
So, do you
want to take a break?

651
00:28:27,787 --> 00:28:30,859
What? No, never.

652
00:28:30,947 --> 00:28:34,622
I just... I need
a little bit more time.

653
00:28:35,867 --> 00:28:37,459
I won't wait forever.

654
00:28:51,147 --> 00:28:52,626
I know,
I'll take it.

655
00:28:53,627 --> 00:28:55,539
I'll take it.
Can I have a kiss, too?

656
00:28:55,628 --> 00:28:56,777
Mama wants a kiss.

657
00:28:57,348 --> 00:28:58,667
Oh, thank you.
Mama kiss.

658
00:28:59,468 --> 00:29:01,379
- Mama kiss.
- Mama kiss.

659
00:29:01,468 --> 00:29:02,503
Sandy?

660
00:29:02,628 --> 00:29:03,981
Hi.
Hi.

661
00:29:04,188 --> 00:29:05,337
Hey!

662
00:29:05,508 --> 00:29:07,339
Hi, hi, hi.
Hi, hello.

663
00:29:07,508 --> 00:29:09,226
This is my friend Kristin.

664
00:29:09,308 --> 00:29:10,423
Hey, Kristin.

665
00:29:10,508 --> 00:29:11,524
That's her
little one, Katie.

666
00:29:11,548 --> 00:29:13,084
Kristin and I met
at Mommy and Me.

667
00:29:13,108 --> 00:29:14,108
Oh, sweet.

668
00:29:14,188 --> 00:29:15,188
So, how'd it go?

669
00:29:15,508 --> 00:29:17,464
I got the interview.
Great.

670
00:29:17,548 --> 00:29:19,444
I don't know what's going to happen,
but, you know,

671
00:29:19,468 --> 00:29:21,284
at least I... I'm just
hoping to have something

672
00:29:21,308 --> 00:29:22,946
to keep my mind
off of all of the...

673
00:29:23,068 --> 00:29:24,421
- Yeah.
- You know.

674
00:29:24,508 --> 00:29:27,341
So, Sandy's ex-husband
just got remarried...

675
00:29:27,428 --> 00:29:28,941
Oh...
... to, like, a 12-year-old.

676
00:29:29,028 --> 00:29:30,257
Oh!
Yeah. So...

677
00:29:31,429 --> 00:29:33,485
Well, I was actually going to say
carpooling and bagging lunches,

678
00:29:33,509 --> 00:29:35,420
- but, you know, or that.
- Okay, I'm sorry!

679
00:29:35,509 --> 00:29:37,005
I'd like to get my
mind off of that.

680
00:29:37,029 --> 00:29:38,144
I'm sorry.

681
00:29:38,229 --> 00:29:39,269
I'm sorry!
No, it was just,

682
00:29:39,349 --> 00:29:40,668
we were on the topic
of marriage

683
00:29:40,709 --> 00:29:44,543
and she's got cold feet, which is...
Oh...

684
00:29:44,669 --> 00:29:46,421
I get that.
I get that.

685
00:29:46,589 --> 00:29:48,205
So, that's what's happening here.

686
00:29:48,229 --> 00:29:49,457
Yeah.
Hi!

687
00:29:49,549 --> 00:29:51,469
- Yeah, we get it.
- But you know what?

688
00:29:51,549 --> 00:29:54,143
You don't know until you give
it a shot is the truth, right?

689
00:29:54,229 --> 00:29:55,229
Yeah.

690
00:29:55,389 --> 00:30:00,622
Really? Were you, like, sure?
Uh-uh.

691
00:30:00,709 --> 00:30:02,188
Are you ever sure?

692
00:30:02,269 --> 00:30:03,304
I was sure.

693
00:30:03,389 --> 00:30:05,107
You were sure?
You were totally sure?

694
00:30:05,189 --> 00:30:07,658
100%, going Indian
all the way.

695
00:30:09,310 --> 00:30:12,222
Huh. I mean, I was 100%
certain I wanted kids.

696
00:30:12,350 --> 00:30:14,102
Yeah, well,
that, of course.

697
00:30:14,230 --> 00:30:17,620
I mean, I can't imagine...
Just the other stuff I don't know about.

698
00:30:17,750 --> 00:30:18,978
Well, that's you guys.

699
00:30:19,070 --> 00:30:21,664
I'm not the best person
to be giving marital advice.

700
00:30:21,750 --> 00:30:23,706
No, no,
I do need to hear

701
00:30:23,790 --> 00:30:25,940
because it's the divorce
thing that scares me,

702
00:30:26,030 --> 00:30:29,340
because I don't know what that
would be like for her and...

703
00:30:29,590 --> 00:30:32,423
You don't go into a marriage thinking
you're going to get a divorce.

704
00:30:32,990 --> 00:30:34,708
- Obviously.
- Nobody does.

705
00:30:34,950 --> 00:30:37,066
You know,
life happens and if it does,

706
00:30:37,190 --> 00:30:39,829
then you've got a lot
more closet space...

707
00:30:39,910 --> 00:30:40,911
Yeah.

708
00:30:40,951 --> 00:30:43,909
Extra sink, no snoring,
you know, a lot of positives.

709
00:30:44,031 --> 00:30:45,031
Yeah.

710
00:30:45,151 --> 00:30:47,426
You're really just doing what's
best for the kids, right?

711
00:30:47,551 --> 00:30:49,382
And yourself, but the kids.

712
00:30:49,711 --> 00:30:51,861
By the way, your child is
eating sand, if you...

713
00:30:52,031 --> 00:30:53,510
Tanner, don't eat that.

714
00:30:53,591 --> 00:30:54,706
There's cat poop in it.

715
00:30:55,951 --> 00:30:56,951
That's so gross.

716
00:30:56,991 --> 00:30:58,671
What if there is cat poop...
No, he's fine.

717
00:30:58,791 --> 00:30:59,791
They survive...

718
00:30:59,831 --> 00:31:01,807
Cat poop... and then they
grow up to be just like us.

719
00:31:01,831 --> 00:31:04,504
Yeah, and they have
a very healthy immune system.

720
00:31:04,671 --> 00:31:06,407
- Anyway, I'm going to go to the kids' show.
- Okay.

721
00:31:06,431 --> 00:31:08,247
Hey, if you're going to come,
will you just text me?

722
00:31:08,271 --> 00:31:09,487
It was
nice meeting you.

723
00:31:09,511 --> 00:31:10,647
Nice to meet you.
And I'll save you a seat?

724
00:31:10,671 --> 00:31:11,706
Yes.

725
00:31:11,791 --> 00:31:13,019
Okay, or tweet at me.

726
00:31:13,111 --> 00:31:14,544
Yeah, I'll text...
I'll tweet...

727
00:31:14,631 --> 00:31:16,224
What? Tweet you?

728
00:31:16,432 --> 00:31:18,288
- Yeah, see, right? That didn't sound right.
- Mmm-mmm.

729
00:31:18,312 --> 00:31:19,984
What is that?
I was just trying it out.

730
00:31:20,112 --> 00:31:21,227
Okay, bye.

731
00:31:23,952 --> 00:31:25,431
Kristin, what's wrong?

732
00:31:26,912 --> 00:31:28,106
What happened?

733
00:31:32,752 --> 00:31:33,752
Are you okay?

734
00:31:33,792 --> 00:31:37,148
I love Zack, but there's a
reason I'm afraid of marriage.

735
00:31:37,632 --> 00:31:38,632
Um...

736
00:31:41,592 --> 00:31:46,666
The truth is I have no
idea who the hell I am.

737
00:31:48,672 --> 00:31:51,232
That's a big one.

738
00:31:52,673 --> 00:31:54,186
I was adopted.

739
00:31:54,273 --> 00:31:55,342
Oh, okay.

740
00:31:55,753 --> 00:31:58,825
And I never met my
biological mother.

741
00:31:58,913 --> 00:32:00,346
You never
told me that.

742
00:32:00,433 --> 00:32:03,630
Never told anyone
that, only Zack.

743
00:32:05,593 --> 00:32:10,109
And I've always wondered,
did she just throw me away?

744
00:32:10,433 --> 00:32:14,187
Or, you know, was there a
reason she got rid of me?

745
00:32:15,353 --> 00:32:17,503
Aw.
I have abandonment issues.

746
00:32:17,633 --> 00:32:22,423
Honey, I'm sure you have
a million questions,

747
00:32:22,833 --> 00:32:24,949
but then you know
what you have to do.

748
00:32:25,033 --> 00:32:26,352
You have to
find your mother.

749
00:32:26,433 --> 00:32:28,186
I already did.

750
00:32:28,714 --> 00:32:30,272
Then I'm missing
the point.

751
00:32:30,354 --> 00:32:32,345
I've no...
What do you mean?

752
00:32:32,434 --> 00:32:34,629
I mean,
I have her address,

753
00:32:34,714 --> 00:32:38,184
I just haven't had
the courage to contact her.

754
00:32:38,314 --> 00:32:39,793
I'm really scared.

755
00:32:39,874 --> 00:32:41,705
God, of course. That's...

756
00:32:43,194 --> 00:32:45,230
Who wouldn't be?
I mean, that's crazy.

757
00:32:45,314 --> 00:32:47,703
You don't even know what
she's going to be like.

758
00:32:47,994 --> 00:32:49,473
You don't even
know your mother

759
00:32:49,554 --> 00:32:51,226
and she has this
power over you.

760
00:32:51,434 --> 00:32:54,073
You're going to have to
face it sooner or later.

761
00:32:54,154 --> 00:32:55,382
You can do it.
Really?

762
00:32:55,474 --> 00:32:56,690
Yes, you should just do it.
Yeah.

763
00:32:56,714 --> 00:32:58,670
You're right, you're right,
you're right.

764
00:32:58,754 --> 00:33:00,745
Okay.
Yeah, and get it over with.

765
00:33:00,874 --> 00:33:04,231
You're, you know...
I mean, now you'll face it.

766
00:33:04,795 --> 00:33:07,211
Yeah, I'm going to do it.
You're right, you're right, you're right.

767
00:33:07,235 --> 00:33:09,305
I'm going to do it. I got it.

768
00:33:09,395 --> 00:33:10,748
You will have it.

769
00:33:10,835 --> 00:33:12,029
Thanks, Jess.

770
00:33:12,115 --> 00:33:13,230
Hi, I'm Bobby Lee,

771
00:33:13,315 --> 00:33:16,785
principal here at Millard
Fillmore Middle School.

772
00:33:16,875 --> 00:33:18,593
And we're really
excited about this show.

773
00:33:18,675 --> 00:33:19,731
We're gonna start
in a few minutes.

774
00:33:19,755 --> 00:33:21,491
The kids are very excited and later,
we're going to be...

775
00:33:21,515 --> 00:33:22,664
Sandy, hi.

776
00:33:22,755 --> 00:33:25,315
...featuring the Fillmore band in concert.
How about that?

777
00:33:25,395 --> 00:33:26,430
What are you doing here?

778
00:33:26,515 --> 00:33:28,983
I didn't think
you'd mind. Here.

779
00:33:29,075 --> 00:33:30,394
I kind of mind.

780
00:33:30,515 --> 00:33:31,743
I had to hear Peter's riff.

781
00:33:31,835 --> 00:33:33,211
We were up late last
night working on it.

782
00:33:33,235 --> 00:33:34,795
You were
working on Peter's riff?

783
00:33:34,835 --> 00:33:36,731
Yeah, I was in an
all-girl band in high school.

784
00:33:36,755 --> 00:33:38,792
My gosh,
Peter's gotten so good.

785
00:33:38,876 --> 00:33:40,532
You know, we just want
to encourage his music,

786
00:33:40,556 --> 00:33:43,412
so we're taking the boys to the Foo
Fighters concert this weekend. But...

787
00:33:43,436 --> 00:33:44,756
What? Don't say
anything to Peter.

788
00:33:44,796 --> 00:33:46,195
It's a surprise.

789
00:33:46,276 --> 00:33:49,427
And don't even get me
started on Dave Grohl.

790
00:33:49,556 --> 00:33:50,591
Don't tell Henry.

791
00:33:50,716 --> 00:33:54,425
Okay, Tina, Tina, Tina,
Tina, that's it.

792
00:33:54,556 --> 00:33:56,194
I'm done. I'm done
with surprises.

793
00:33:56,276 --> 00:34:00,030
I really am. This week,
enough surprises, seriously.

794
00:34:00,196 --> 00:34:01,675
Okay, is something wrong?

795
00:34:01,756 --> 00:34:03,235
Yes, something is wrong.

796
00:34:03,356 --> 00:34:06,553
I got here an hour early,
so I could get a front row seat,

797
00:34:06,636 --> 00:34:10,231
and have a perfect camera
angle and watch my children.

798
00:34:10,316 --> 00:34:12,147
And now you're sitting
right here next to me.

799
00:34:12,236 --> 00:34:13,716
Because the seat was open.

800
00:34:13,797 --> 00:34:17,995
It was for my purse, my purse's seat, okay?
My purse's seat is right here.

801
00:34:19,837 --> 00:34:23,386
God, you cannot just show up
here late and then sit there.

802
00:34:23,477 --> 00:34:25,468
You just can't
do that. We need...

803
00:34:25,557 --> 00:34:26,910
We need boundaries.

804
00:34:26,997 --> 00:34:28,271
We need some rules, Tina.

805
00:34:28,477 --> 00:34:29,477
Rules?

806
00:34:29,557 --> 00:34:31,593
Like, sitting in
an open seat?

807
00:34:31,717 --> 00:34:33,753
I don't know what
the rules are yet, Tina.

808
00:34:33,837 --> 00:34:35,813
I don't know what they are,
but I just know we have them,

809
00:34:35,837 --> 00:34:37,555
and you're breaking all of them.
Okay.

810
00:34:37,677 --> 00:34:39,133
- I've just gotta get...
- Ladies and gentlemen,

811
00:34:39,157 --> 00:34:41,034
Animals on Parade!

812
00:34:41,197 --> 00:34:46,510
Old MacDonald had a farm
Ee I ee I oh

813
00:34:47,197 --> 00:34:50,395
And on his farm
he had a penguin...

814
00:34:50,478 --> 00:34:52,469
What, why?

815
00:34:52,678 --> 00:34:55,272
He also had a helper,
it seems.

816
00:34:55,438 --> 00:34:57,190
Oh, there's Mikey.
Hi, honey.

817
00:34:57,638 --> 00:34:59,037
A lion! He's got a...

818
00:35:00,518 --> 00:35:03,271
Oh, my God,
the costume's on backwards.

819
00:35:03,358 --> 00:35:04,791
He had a lion...

820
00:35:07,678 --> 00:35:08,872
Did you do that?

821
00:35:09,878 --> 00:35:10,878
Peter.

822
00:35:11,518 --> 00:35:12,718
Don't touch it,
don't touch it.

823
00:35:16,878 --> 00:35:19,187
Ee I ee I oh

824
00:35:20,198 --> 00:35:21,347
Yeah, that's good.

825
00:35:21,478 --> 00:35:23,514
The producers have asked
to push the crystals.

826
00:35:23,598 --> 00:35:25,032
Traffic has slowed down.

827
00:35:25,919 --> 00:35:29,628
Five, four, three, two...

828
00:35:31,159 --> 00:35:32,751
Welcome back, everyone.

829
00:35:32,839 --> 00:35:34,636
All right, dads and husbands,

830
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:38,075
take a look at these
beautiful mood pendants.

831
00:35:38,159 --> 00:35:41,595
Mother's Day, just a few days away,
this is your chance.

832
00:35:42,879 --> 00:35:44,517
And we're clear.

833
00:35:54,679 --> 00:35:57,477
We need a price check
on organic cotton...

834
00:35:58,239 --> 00:35:59,514
No, that's not necessary.

835
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:01,392
They are...
They're 9 bucks.

836
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:02,953
They're 9 bucks each.

837
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:06,430
Cancel that price check on tampons,
the organic cotton ones.

838
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:09,520
Daughter?

839
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,356
Oh, uh, yeah.

840
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:18,357
Two actually, but only one is currently,
you know, becoming a woman.

841
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:20,320
Got you.

842
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:24,309
Yeah, their mom
used to do this, but...

843
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:27,474
Well, I do it now.

844
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:29,678
Same boat, two sons.

845
00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:33,438
How is that the same boat?

846
00:36:34,641 --> 00:36:37,872
I guess just the number.

847
00:36:39,961 --> 00:36:43,237
Sorry, I don't usually eavesdrop
on other people's carts.

848
00:36:43,321 --> 00:36:46,836
It's just... I'm Sandy,
I have two sons.

849
00:36:47,641 --> 00:36:48,710
I already said that.

850
00:36:49,481 --> 00:36:50,481
Yes, you did.

851
00:36:50,561 --> 00:36:52,597
I can take you over here.
Oh, thank you.

852
00:36:54,961 --> 00:36:58,476
Sandy, two sons, same boat.

853
00:36:58,801 --> 00:36:59,950
Oh, thank you.

854
00:37:00,041 --> 00:37:01,599
All right, well, bye.

855
00:37:01,801 --> 00:37:04,873
Yeah, it was nice meeting you,
Sandy with two sons.

856
00:37:05,001 --> 00:37:06,480
It was two, right?

857
00:37:07,081 --> 00:37:08,150
Yeah.

858
00:37:13,482 --> 00:37:15,040
Hey, Henry, what's up?

859
00:37:15,642 --> 00:37:18,236
Hey, are the boys'
passports up to date?

860
00:37:20,562 --> 00:37:22,632
Their passports?

861
00:37:22,922 --> 00:37:25,197
I am planning our
summer vacation.

862
00:37:25,442 --> 00:37:26,477
Um...

863
00:37:27,362 --> 00:37:32,675
Okay, where are you
planning this vacation?

864
00:37:33,002 --> 00:37:35,800
We're going to Paris.
Tina's never been.

865
00:37:36,442 --> 00:37:38,398
Paris, uh, France?

866
00:37:39,002 --> 00:37:40,002
Uh-huh.

867
00:37:40,242 --> 00:37:41,675
Are you kidding me?

868
00:37:42,202 --> 00:37:44,477
No, I'm not. Why?

869
00:37:44,562 --> 00:37:45,916
I got to go.

870
00:37:47,243 --> 00:37:48,358
Bye.

871
00:37:50,123 --> 00:37:51,192
Hello?

872
00:37:52,243 --> 00:37:53,358
Hello?

873
00:37:55,523 --> 00:37:57,514
So, how'd she take it?

874
00:37:58,883 --> 00:38:00,282
Like a champ.

875
00:38:02,723 --> 00:38:05,601
Oh, you've got to
be kidding me!

876
00:38:06,363 --> 00:38:08,354
Paris?

877
00:38:09,203 --> 00:38:11,194
Paris, Paris, Paris!

878
00:38:11,483 --> 00:38:12,483
That's...

879
00:38:12,883 --> 00:38:17,081
We could not get our shit together
for 13 years to get to Paris.

880
00:38:18,963 --> 00:38:20,955
Now he's taking Tina. Tina.

881
00:38:21,044 --> 00:38:22,716
Now he's taking Tina.

882
00:38:23,204 --> 00:38:26,958
It's the only place I've wanted to go
since I was a kid and I read Madeline!

883
00:38:27,244 --> 00:38:29,678
I don't even think she knows
who the hell Madeline is!

884
00:38:30,124 --> 00:38:33,878
Oh, my God,
this is not happening!

885
00:38:33,964 --> 00:38:35,841
This is not
happening!

886
00:38:37,564 --> 00:38:41,079
Oh, man, you know, you couldn't
have taken her to London

887
00:38:41,164 --> 00:38:44,236
or to fuckin'
Disneyland maybe?

888
00:38:44,324 --> 00:38:46,838
I don't know,
how about take her to the prom?

889
00:38:46,924 --> 00:38:49,438
That's somewhere I bet
she hasn't been yet.

890
00:38:49,964 --> 00:38:50,964
Jesus...

891
00:38:53,164 --> 00:38:55,553
Freaking Tina!

892
00:38:58,765 --> 00:39:00,084
I'd hate to see
her in traffic.

893
00:39:00,165 --> 00:39:01,439
Yeah.

894
00:39:06,445 --> 00:39:07,673
That's it.

895
00:39:07,765 --> 00:39:09,084
That's it, go!

896
00:39:09,285 --> 00:39:10,285
Over here!

897
00:39:11,165 --> 00:39:12,200
Cross it!

898
00:39:13,605 --> 00:39:15,436
That's it. Rachel's open.

899
00:39:15,525 --> 00:39:17,322
There you go. That's it.

900
00:39:17,845 --> 00:39:18,880
Yeah, move it!

901
00:39:18,965 --> 00:39:19,965
Hurry!

902
00:39:23,045 --> 00:39:24,444
Goal!

903
00:39:29,085 --> 00:39:31,395
Did not cross
the line! No goal!

904
00:39:31,526 --> 00:39:34,359
What? What?
What are you talking about?

905
00:39:34,486 --> 00:39:35,686
Go back to your coaching area!

906
00:39:35,766 --> 00:39:37,822
No, no, no, no,
not until you reverse that call, man.

907
00:39:37,846 --> 00:39:38,881
I'm warning you.

908
00:39:38,966 --> 00:39:40,922
Hey, you're warning me what?
Look at the crowd.

909
00:39:41,366 --> 00:39:43,038
Easy, mister.
I've got this, Lisa.

910
00:39:43,126 --> 00:39:44,262
What? There's not
many of them.

911
00:39:44,286 --> 00:39:45,321
No, no, look at them.

912
00:39:45,966 --> 00:39:47,479
Okay, you've got,
like, five dozen

913
00:39:47,566 --> 00:39:49,062
different recorded
versions of that play

914
00:39:49,086 --> 00:39:50,599
you completely
missed right there.

915
00:39:50,686 --> 00:39:52,006
Why don't you
just walk over there

916
00:39:52,086 --> 00:39:53,342
and ask one of them
to replay it for you,

917
00:39:53,366 --> 00:39:54,782
then you'll see you're wrong,
we'll win the game

918
00:39:54,806 --> 00:39:56,966
and then you can stumble home
with your seeing-eye dog.

919
00:39:57,046 --> 00:39:58,445
That's it.

920
00:39:58,846 --> 00:39:59,915
Yellow card!

921
00:40:01,126 --> 00:40:02,525
Yellow card?
Are you...

922
00:40:03,526 --> 00:40:04,879
Oh, he blew
another man's whistle.

923
00:40:05,006 --> 00:40:06,462
Did you just blow my whistle?
You're damn right.

924
00:40:06,486 --> 00:40:07,823
You do not blow
another man's whistle.

925
00:40:07,847 --> 00:40:09,917
You do when he
blows the game for you!

926
00:40:10,007 --> 00:40:12,646
All right,
that's it, red card!

927
00:40:13,047 --> 00:40:14,047
You're gone.

928
00:40:14,167 --> 00:40:15,805
I'm gone? Okay,
good to know.

929
00:40:15,887 --> 00:40:17,525
Okay, you know what?
I'm gone.

930
00:40:18,047 --> 00:40:20,003
Now your ball's gone.
That's what's gone, okay?

931
00:40:20,127 --> 00:40:21,162
Hey, Kimberly!

932
00:40:21,687 --> 00:40:22,756
Oh, I've got to go!

933
00:40:22,847 --> 00:40:24,917
- You take over, okay?
- Yeah, you better go.

934
00:40:25,007 --> 00:40:26,623
Yeah, thank you.
If anybody's looking for me,

935
00:40:26,647 --> 00:40:29,036
I'll be out in the parking lot
calling LensCrafters,

936
00:40:29,167 --> 00:40:30,680
making that guy
an appointment!

937
00:40:31,207 --> 00:40:33,007
Baby, you better go.
You're going to get hurt.

938
00:40:33,647 --> 00:40:35,080
Spare ball, please.

939
00:40:35,207 --> 00:40:36,356
Knucklehead!

940
00:40:43,528 --> 00:40:46,042
All right, you're gone.

941
00:40:47,528 --> 00:40:50,884
You... A pox
upon your whistle.

942
00:40:54,208 --> 00:40:55,323
Play ball!

943
00:40:55,888 --> 00:40:56,923
Next.

944
00:40:57,448 --> 00:41:00,520
Yeah, hi.
Could we get a large pizza?

945
00:41:00,608 --> 00:41:02,485
What kind you want?
Cheese.

946
00:41:03,168 --> 00:41:05,398
Large cheese pizza
and three sodas to go.

947
00:41:05,528 --> 00:41:06,881
Wait over there, please.

948
00:41:08,288 --> 00:41:11,041
Where'd you hear that "pox on my whistle"?
What's that from?

949
00:41:11,208 --> 00:41:13,119
Shakespeare.
Shakespeare, huh?

950
00:41:13,248 --> 00:41:14,442
William Shakespeare?

951
00:41:14,568 --> 00:41:15,921
No, Bob Shakespeare.

952
00:41:16,088 --> 00:41:17,123
Who else would it...

953
00:41:17,248 --> 00:41:18,728
Why are you talking
to me like this?

954
00:41:19,729 --> 00:41:20,923
You, too, now?

955
00:41:21,449 --> 00:41:22,705
I can't
believe we lost.

956
00:41:22,729 --> 00:41:23,905
I think
that ball was deflated.

957
00:41:23,929 --> 00:41:24,964
Totally.

958
00:41:25,049 --> 00:41:26,323
Tom Brady is hot.

959
00:41:29,129 --> 00:41:31,518
Hey, want to go
get some ice cream?

960
00:41:31,649 --> 00:41:33,002
As a makeup present?

961
00:41:33,129 --> 00:41:34,244
Make up for what?

962
00:41:34,409 --> 00:41:36,320
Acting like Mopey Dick
half the time.

963
00:41:36,409 --> 00:41:37,762
I'm sorry, Mopey Dick?

964
00:41:38,369 --> 00:41:41,327
Yeah, being sad
all the time,

965
00:41:41,449 --> 00:41:45,408
obsessing over soccer
so you can get closer to Mom,

966
00:41:46,329 --> 00:41:49,287
watching those
videos over and over.

967
00:41:51,249 --> 00:41:55,163
She's gone, Dad, and we're all sad,
but for how long?

968
00:41:55,290 --> 00:41:57,626
And acting like an asshole with
that ref doesn't help anyone.

969
00:41:57,650 --> 00:41:58,685
Hey, watch your language.

970
00:41:58,770 --> 00:42:00,089
You know what?
Yeah, I cuss.

971
00:42:00,170 --> 00:42:02,126
That's because I'm
an unsupervised teen

972
00:42:02,210 --> 00:42:04,106
and while I'm at it,
I don't mind taking care of Vicky

973
00:42:04,130 --> 00:42:05,927
and doing all the housework
and the cooking.

974
00:42:06,010 --> 00:42:08,240
Dad, I'm only 16,
I have a life.

975
00:42:08,410 --> 00:42:09,729
I know, okay?

976
00:42:11,770 --> 00:42:13,647
Tommy's here.
I've got to go.

977
00:42:14,450 --> 00:42:16,486
Wait, where are you going?
Just stop.

978
00:42:17,410 --> 00:42:19,241
Is this the boy
that likes you?

979
00:42:19,330 --> 00:42:21,241
Hey, Rachel,
what are you doing?

980
00:42:22,090 --> 00:42:23,284
Go, come on.

981
00:42:23,410 --> 00:42:24,810
Rachel,
get out of the car.

982
00:42:25,690 --> 00:42:26,725
Get out.

983
00:42:26,810 --> 00:42:28,847
You're going to roll
up the window on me.

984
00:42:28,971 --> 00:42:32,361
Hey, wait until it stops
and then get out of the car.

985
00:42:32,971 --> 00:42:34,484
Unbelievable.

986
00:42:37,611 --> 00:42:39,761
But my friend comes
to me and she goes,

987
00:42:39,851 --> 00:42:43,924
"Oh, my God, Mia,
I have met the perfect guy for you."

988
00:42:44,011 --> 00:42:48,209
She shows me his picture,
and this dude was at least 75, okay?

989
00:42:50,011 --> 00:42:51,160
And I am not.

990
00:42:52,851 --> 00:42:55,843
And I said, "Um, his eyes
have cataracts,

991
00:42:57,371 --> 00:42:59,407
"mine have hope, okay?"

992
00:43:04,052 --> 00:43:05,485
She is killing 'em.

993
00:43:07,172 --> 00:43:08,924
She's also
killing the boss.

994
00:43:36,692 --> 00:43:38,171
Oh, I'm so sorry!
Are you okay?

995
00:43:38,252 --> 00:43:39,971
Yes, I'm fine, I'm fine.

996
00:43:40,053 --> 00:43:42,469
Do you know where the pool is?
I'm looking for Miranda Collins.

997
00:43:42,493 --> 00:43:43,549
Yeah, it's right
through that door.

998
00:43:43,573 --> 00:43:45,573
- But, can I help you with the rip?
- No, I'm...

999
00:43:45,693 --> 00:43:47,189
Sorry, watch out behind you.
Sorry, sorry, sorry!

1000
00:43:47,213 --> 00:43:49,044
Thank you. You sure I
can't help with the rip?

1001
00:43:49,173 --> 00:43:50,401
I got a safety pin.

1002
00:43:50,533 --> 00:43:52,683
No, no, thank you,
I'm late for a meeting.

1003
00:43:53,053 --> 00:43:54,850
Bigger smile.
Bigger smile, yeah.

1004
00:43:54,933 --> 00:43:56,924
There you go. Perfect.

1005
00:43:57,053 --> 00:43:58,611
Have a nice day.
Next.

1006
00:43:58,853 --> 00:43:59,853
Thank you.

1007
00:43:59,893 --> 00:44:01,690
Congratulations.

1008
00:44:01,773 --> 00:44:03,684
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no! Shoot!

1009
00:44:04,133 --> 00:44:05,168
One more.

1010
00:44:05,253 --> 00:44:08,051
Ma'am, these are contest winners.
Only they get pictures.

1011
00:44:08,133 --> 00:44:09,669
I'm not... I'm actually
not here for a picture.

1012
00:44:09,693 --> 00:44:10,967
I'm here to
show Miranda this.

1013
00:44:11,093 --> 00:44:12,128
Fine, stay here.

1014
00:44:12,253 --> 00:44:13,589
But, there's actually...
Hey, hey, hey!

1015
00:44:13,613 --> 00:44:14,614
How cute.

1016
00:44:14,774 --> 00:44:15,843
That's very sweet.
Miranda!

1017
00:44:15,934 --> 00:44:17,765
I'm sorry, that's...
Congratulations.

1018
00:44:17,894 --> 00:44:19,452
I'm not a contest winner.

1019
00:44:19,614 --> 00:44:20,842
Then why am I
hugging you?

1020
00:44:20,934 --> 00:44:23,050
I'm sorry. I'm late.
I'm here for the interview.

1021
00:44:23,134 --> 00:44:24,230
We're not doing
any press today.

1022
00:44:24,254 --> 00:44:25,374
No. I'm not
interviewing you.

1023
00:44:25,454 --> 00:44:26,910
She's interviewing me.
You need to calm down.

1024
00:44:26,934 --> 00:44:29,402
I need to calm down?
I'm not here for a photograph.

1025
00:44:29,494 --> 00:44:31,007
I'm here for a job.

1026
00:44:31,094 --> 00:44:32,288
Oh, you must be Sandy.

1027
00:44:32,374 --> 00:44:33,443
Yes, I'm Sandy!

1028
00:44:33,534 --> 00:44:35,525
Yes! Well, you missed
the design meeting.

1029
00:44:35,614 --> 00:44:36,750
Miranda is a very
busy person.

1030
00:44:36,774 --> 00:44:38,134
Oh, really?
Is Miranda busy?

1031
00:44:38,654 --> 00:44:40,326
Well, I would have
been here on time

1032
00:44:40,414 --> 00:44:41,974
if my ex-husband
hadn't married a tween,

1033
00:44:42,134 --> 00:44:45,683
or if my doctor had called in
my child's asthma medication,

1034
00:44:45,774 --> 00:44:47,332
or if my mother-mobile
went faster

1035
00:44:47,414 --> 00:44:48,927
than 4 miles per
hour on the freeway.

1036
00:44:49,134 --> 00:44:52,093
But I understand it. I get it.
Her time is very valuable.

1037
00:44:52,175 --> 00:44:55,292
And she's very busy.
My time is not.

1038
00:44:59,335 --> 00:45:01,291
My bra's on inside out.

1039
00:45:02,295 --> 00:45:03,951
Would you like me
to help you with your bra?

1040
00:45:03,975 --> 00:45:06,284
No! Uh... Thank you, though.

1041
00:45:07,855 --> 00:45:09,208
I like your blouse.

1042
00:45:10,135 --> 00:45:11,853
Thank you. I just made this.

1043
00:45:16,135 --> 00:45:17,204
Next.

1044
00:45:18,495 --> 00:45:19,769
Look at me, look right here.

1045
00:45:22,815 --> 00:45:25,125
It's not a date. Oh, just...

1046
00:45:27,176 --> 00:45:28,245
Great.

1047
00:45:28,336 --> 00:45:29,849
That's a waste of my time.

1048
00:45:30,016 --> 00:45:32,849
Oh, I'm Miranda.
I'm the busiest woman in the world.

1049
00:45:33,496 --> 00:45:34,645
Where is she, Betty?

1050
00:45:34,736 --> 00:45:36,328
There she is,
talking to herself.

1051
00:45:36,656 --> 00:45:37,725
Thanks, Betty.

1052
00:45:39,176 --> 00:45:41,007
Excuse me, ma'am.

1053
00:45:41,856 --> 00:45:44,290
I'm sorry, Miss Collins
would like to see you now.

1054
00:45:45,336 --> 00:45:46,735
She would?
Yes.

1055
00:45:47,176 --> 00:45:48,245
Okay.

1056
00:45:48,336 --> 00:45:49,735
Oh, shoot!

1057
00:45:50,096 --> 00:45:51,096
Um...

1058
00:45:51,816 --> 00:45:53,534
One second, one second.

1059
00:45:55,216 --> 00:45:56,888
Can I help you with something?

1060
00:45:57,736 --> 00:45:59,472
Watch yourself.
Don't get stuck in there now.

1061
00:45:59,496 --> 00:46:00,497
Would you...
Okay, sure.

1062
00:46:00,577 --> 00:46:01,612
I got it. I got it.
Yep.

1063
00:46:01,697 --> 00:46:03,176
Okay?
Yes, I got it.

1064
00:46:03,257 --> 00:46:05,134
You sure you got everything?
Hello in there.

1065
00:46:05,217 --> 00:46:06,313
You want this back?
No, no, no.

1066
00:46:06,337 --> 00:46:07,531
No, okay.

1067
00:46:09,417 --> 00:46:14,491
Uh, okay, so,
I was trying to create

1068
00:46:14,577 --> 00:46:17,330
a little bit more
flow and, um...

1069
00:46:19,537 --> 00:46:21,892
Gosh, your head just really
snapped right off there.

1070
00:46:21,977 --> 00:46:22,977
Anyhow.

1071
00:46:23,057 --> 00:46:25,890
So, that's why I kind of
rounded out these edges

1072
00:46:26,097 --> 00:46:27,416
a little bit and
opened it up.

1073
00:46:27,577 --> 00:46:28,577
And also, um...

1074
00:46:28,697 --> 00:46:30,369
How long has
your son had asthma?

1075
00:46:32,577 --> 00:46:34,090
His whole life.

1076
00:46:34,897 --> 00:46:38,129
But the doctors say that they
can grow out of it sometimes.

1077
00:46:41,018 --> 00:46:42,576
Do you have kids?
No.

1078
00:46:43,458 --> 00:46:44,857
Career.
Sure.

1079
00:46:44,938 --> 00:46:45,938
Keeps me busy.

1080
00:46:46,298 --> 00:46:48,573
Yeah, of course.

1081
00:46:49,458 --> 00:46:53,929
Tell me more about this
tween and your ex-husband.

1082
00:46:54,538 --> 00:46:56,335
Oh, yeah.

1083
00:46:56,418 --> 00:46:59,091
Oh, I'm sure I exaggerated
about that a little bit.

1084
00:46:59,218 --> 00:47:02,130
I'm sure she's older,
but I'll have a better idea

1085
00:47:02,258 --> 00:47:03,691
once all the acne clears up.

1086
00:47:05,778 --> 00:47:07,131
You're funny.

1087
00:47:07,218 --> 00:47:09,049
You have to be
more fun than she is.

1088
00:47:09,138 --> 00:47:11,972
I am, I am.

1089
00:47:12,779 --> 00:47:14,815
Well, you should hold on to that.
Yeah.

1090
00:47:16,099 --> 00:47:17,248
Yeah.

1091
00:47:18,779 --> 00:47:22,135
Okay, I feel like I should keep
pitching you my... The set, so...

1092
00:47:22,259 --> 00:47:24,409
No, not at all.
You're hired.

1093
00:47:25,419 --> 00:47:27,216
That's it?
Mmm-hmm.

1094
00:47:27,299 --> 00:47:30,052
And I dare say with this new job,
you might be able to afford

1095
00:47:30,139 --> 00:47:31,458
a slightly faster car.

1096
00:47:32,259 --> 00:47:34,693
Not a Maserati,
but slightly faster car.

1097
00:47:34,779 --> 00:47:37,213
I'm so sorry for that
explosion out there.

1098
00:47:37,299 --> 00:47:40,097
Don't be. It got our
attention, didn't it?

1099
00:47:40,179 --> 00:47:42,010
Also a trait to hold on to.

1100
00:47:42,579 --> 00:47:44,251
Okay, thank you.

1101
00:47:44,339 --> 00:47:47,616
I'll hold on to that, and
I'm funny... I've a lot to hold on to.

1102
00:47:47,700 --> 00:47:50,168
I know that you're
very busy, Miranda, so...

1103
00:47:50,300 --> 00:47:51,858
One last thing.

1104
00:47:51,980 --> 00:47:54,699
There is one final
souvenir to give away,

1105
00:47:54,820 --> 00:47:57,493
though you were not
an essay-contest winner.

1106
00:47:58,820 --> 00:48:01,857
Thank you. 100% gold-plated
hypoallergenic bangle.

1107
00:48:01,980 --> 00:48:02,980
Oh.
Just for you.

1108
00:48:03,340 --> 00:48:06,013
Oh, my gosh.
This has been a great day.

1109
00:48:09,780 --> 00:48:12,340
Jess, our blender's broken.
We're using yours.

1110
00:48:12,460 --> 00:48:13,575
Okay.
Hey.

1111
00:48:13,660 --> 00:48:14,660
Hi.

1112
00:48:14,740 --> 00:48:15,968
Where's Russell and the kids?

1113
00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:19,336
Oh, they're out in the garage popping
the bubble wrap on the float.

1114
00:48:22,861 --> 00:48:24,340
It's them. You answer it.

1115
00:48:24,461 --> 00:48:25,461
It's your Skype.

1116
00:48:25,501 --> 00:48:26,536
It's your parents.

1117
00:48:26,621 --> 00:48:27,940
Your parents, too.

1118
00:48:28,021 --> 00:48:29,090
You know what?

1119
00:48:29,181 --> 00:48:31,934
This is something that I can do for you,
is answer and talk to them.

1120
00:48:32,021 --> 00:48:33,773
Thank you.
But I'd rather do this.

1121
00:48:35,021 --> 00:48:36,932
Oh, my God.

1122
00:48:37,741 --> 00:48:38,969
Dad.

1123
00:48:39,541 --> 00:48:40,541
Hi, Jess.

1124
00:48:40,661 --> 00:48:43,971
I want to talk to you about a
Mother's Day present for my old lady.

1125
00:48:44,181 --> 00:48:45,181
Uh...

1126
00:48:45,741 --> 00:48:49,131
The old lady,
meaning my mother?

1127
00:48:49,221 --> 00:48:52,213
Yeah, I've got the greatest
idea in the world.

1128
00:48:52,301 --> 00:48:53,301
Okay.

1129
00:48:53,381 --> 00:48:56,977
A present that's going to knock
your mama plum out of her panties.

1130
00:48:57,062 --> 00:48:58,062
Whoo!

1131
00:48:58,422 --> 00:49:01,494
Dad, that is a really
interesting visual.

1132
00:49:01,582 --> 00:49:03,413
What are you
guys talking about?

1133
00:49:03,542 --> 00:49:06,454
Mom, I thought... Dad, I thought
you wanted it to be a surprise?

1134
00:49:06,542 --> 00:49:08,214
Oh, it will be.

1135
00:49:08,342 --> 00:49:10,060
Come in, door's open.

1136
00:49:11,022 --> 00:49:12,091
Hello?

1137
00:49:13,342 --> 00:49:14,741
Hello? Dad?

1138
00:49:15,182 --> 00:49:16,331
Surprise!

1139
00:49:17,382 --> 00:49:19,577
Oh, my God!
That was... What?

1140
00:49:20,462 --> 00:49:21,895
What?

1141
00:49:24,102 --> 00:49:27,697
Yes, you have that here now.

1142
00:49:27,782 --> 00:49:29,738
That's crazy.

1143
00:49:30,702 --> 00:49:31,851
Gabi!

1144
00:49:33,583 --> 00:49:34,902
Gabi!

1145
00:49:35,423 --> 00:49:36,776
Oh, it's you guys.

1146
00:49:36,863 --> 00:49:38,057
Yeah, it is!

1147
00:49:39,543 --> 00:49:41,022
Oh, sweetheart.

1148
00:49:41,103 --> 00:49:42,719
Gabi, you're not
going to believe it.

1149
00:49:42,743 --> 00:49:45,701
You guys are
supposed to be in Texas.

1150
00:49:45,823 --> 00:49:47,051
I lied.

1151
00:49:47,543 --> 00:49:49,818
We've been driving
20 hours straight.

1152
00:49:49,943 --> 00:49:52,662
I thought with us making up
on the Skype and all

1153
00:49:52,783 --> 00:49:53,852
and Gabi's engagement,

1154
00:49:53,943 --> 00:49:57,618
what a great
Mother's Day surprise,

1155
00:49:57,743 --> 00:49:59,301
a couple of days early.

1156
00:49:59,463 --> 00:50:00,532
Mom, Dad!

1157
00:50:00,623 --> 00:50:02,818
What are you guys doing here?

1158
00:50:03,223 --> 00:50:04,223
Yay!

1159
00:50:05,023 --> 00:50:06,456
Oh!

1160
00:50:07,744 --> 00:50:08,744
Hi, Daddy.

1161
00:50:08,784 --> 00:50:10,217
Hi, sweetheart.

1162
00:50:10,304 --> 00:50:12,613
Hey, listen. Uh, where's
the little ladies' room?

1163
00:50:12,744 --> 00:50:14,382
- Down the hall.
- I'll be right back.

1164
00:50:14,464 --> 00:50:15,943
I just can't
take him anywhere.

1165
00:50:16,144 --> 00:50:17,623
Oh...
Oh!

1166
00:50:17,704 --> 00:50:21,219
Well, I'll say,
this is some kind of casa.

1167
00:50:21,624 --> 00:50:23,057
Thank you.

1168
00:50:23,144 --> 00:50:24,896
That's not good.
It's not good.

1169
00:50:24,984 --> 00:50:26,840
You need to call Russell.
Text Russell right now.

1170
00:50:26,864 --> 00:50:27,899
Okay.

1171
00:50:27,984 --> 00:50:29,000
Text Russell, tell him
don't leave the garage

1172
00:50:29,024 --> 00:50:30,440
and don't let the kids
get out of the garage.

1173
00:50:30,464 --> 00:50:31,499
Just stay in the garage.

1174
00:50:31,824 --> 00:50:33,815
Oh, look at that picture.

1175
00:50:33,944 --> 00:50:34,979
I don't like it.

1176
00:50:36,144 --> 00:50:37,657
I don't live here.

1177
00:50:37,984 --> 00:50:41,613
Uh... Oh, hello there,
I'm Gabi's mom.

1178
00:50:41,704 --> 00:50:43,457
You must be Steven.

1179
00:50:44,465 --> 00:50:45,465
Oh!

1180
00:50:46,985 --> 00:50:48,054
I'm sorry.

1181
00:50:48,145 --> 00:50:51,455
I'm sorry, I thought
you were someone else.

1182
00:50:51,545 --> 00:50:52,864
You're Gabi's mom?

1183
00:50:52,985 --> 00:50:54,384
Yes, and who are you?
Oh.

1184
00:50:54,505 --> 00:50:55,505
Um, I'm,...

1185
00:50:56,465 --> 00:51:01,095
I'm Max, I'm Gabi's partner.

1186
00:51:01,185 --> 00:51:05,019
In crime. This is her
partner in crime, Max.

1187
00:51:06,505 --> 00:51:09,338
Well, good as new.

1188
00:51:09,425 --> 00:51:10,425
Oh.

1189
00:51:10,505 --> 00:51:11,654
You got any beer?

1190
00:51:12,025 --> 00:51:13,060
Yes.

1191
00:51:13,185 --> 00:51:14,743
We could always
go out for a beer.

1192
00:51:15,105 --> 00:51:16,333
Uh, uh...

1193
00:51:16,465 --> 00:51:18,217
Hoegaarden, Stella...

1194
00:51:18,826 --> 00:51:20,259
No.
Kingfisher...

1195
00:51:20,346 --> 00:51:24,021
It sounds like
the freakin' United Nations.

1196
00:51:24,586 --> 00:51:28,818
Uh, no, no, I'll import
some American brew from my RV.

1197
00:51:28,906 --> 00:51:30,021
Be right back.

1198
00:51:30,106 --> 00:51:31,334
Where is Steven?

1199
00:51:32,706 --> 00:51:33,741
Oh.

1200
00:51:33,866 --> 00:51:35,265
Good luck.
Steven is...

1201
00:51:35,386 --> 00:51:36,386
Steven.

1202
00:51:36,426 --> 00:51:37,461
The one that...

1203
00:51:37,546 --> 00:51:38,581
Gabi's fiancé.

1204
00:51:38,666 --> 00:51:40,896
I'm excited to meet
my future son-in-law.

1205
00:51:41,066 --> 00:51:42,465
Are you? Okay.

1206
00:51:42,546 --> 00:51:45,663
Mom, um,
there is no Steven.

1207
00:51:45,746 --> 00:51:47,737
Max is my partner.

1208
00:51:49,506 --> 00:51:51,064
Your business partner?

1209
00:51:52,226 --> 00:51:54,741
No, um, my life partner.

1210
00:51:55,747 --> 00:51:57,305
Your li...

1211
00:51:57,747 --> 00:51:58,975
Uh, what...

1212
00:51:59,067 --> 00:52:00,898
I'm Gabi's wife.

1213
00:52:01,227 --> 00:52:02,227
Huh?

1214
00:52:02,387 --> 00:52:04,537
We're wives.

1215
00:52:05,267 --> 00:52:07,417
No! No!

1216
00:52:08,747 --> 00:52:10,021
What did I miss?
Oh!

1217
00:52:10,787 --> 00:52:12,667
A heck of an episode
of The Jerry Springer Show.

1218
00:52:12,707 --> 00:52:14,379
Doesn't get any
better than Jerry.

1219
00:52:14,467 --> 00:52:17,425
Hey, Jesse, why am I
staying in the... Oh, hello.

1220
00:52:17,547 --> 00:52:19,147
And we are back from commercial.
Go back.

1221
00:52:20,467 --> 00:52:21,582
Are you the houseboy?

1222
00:52:22,747 --> 00:52:24,499
No, who the hell are you?

1223
00:52:24,587 --> 00:52:26,020
Well, I'm Jesse's father.

1224
00:52:26,107 --> 00:52:27,227
Okay, that's not funny, pal,

1225
00:52:27,267 --> 00:52:29,702
because Jesse's
father and mother

1226
00:52:29,788 --> 00:52:32,256
are in a dementia
facility in Arizona, right?

1227
00:52:32,788 --> 00:52:35,222
Dementia, my butt.

1228
00:52:35,788 --> 00:52:37,107
We live in Texas.

1229
00:52:37,788 --> 00:52:39,788
You're going to tell me
that you're Jesse's mother?

1230
00:52:40,108 --> 00:52:41,143
Oh, yeah.

1231
00:52:41,268 --> 00:52:43,463
Well, who in
the Sam H. are you?

1232
00:52:43,628 --> 00:52:46,461
Well, I am Jesse's husband,
I think.

1233
00:52:46,788 --> 00:52:49,256
Are we on The Jerry Springer
Show right now?

1234
00:52:49,428 --> 00:52:51,020
Are we?
Wait, wait, wait.

1235
00:52:51,108 --> 00:52:52,541
Jesse's not married.

1236
00:52:52,628 --> 00:52:54,300
Oh, oh, yes, she is.

1237
00:52:54,428 --> 00:52:55,941
Yes, she is, to me.

1238
00:52:56,068 --> 00:52:57,103
To him.

1239
00:52:57,948 --> 00:52:59,586
Oh, holy hell.

1240
00:53:00,588 --> 00:53:02,783
You've got a towel-head
for a husband?

1241
00:53:02,908 --> 00:53:04,706
I thought you
broke up with him.

1242
00:53:04,789 --> 00:53:08,225
Okay, FYI, towel-head,
super offensive. So...

1243
00:53:08,309 --> 00:53:09,788
It's very offensive.

1244
00:53:10,469 --> 00:53:13,142
You got married and
you didn't tell us?

1245
00:53:13,269 --> 00:53:15,624
So is Gabi and
to a gay person.

1246
00:53:15,869 --> 00:53:18,337
What?
Mom, I'm a gay person.

1247
00:53:18,429 --> 00:53:19,748
She is a gay person.

1248
00:53:19,829 --> 00:53:21,706
Sweet jumpin' Jesus.

1249
00:53:21,989 --> 00:53:23,217
Let's go, Flo.

1250
00:53:23,309 --> 00:53:25,061
There's a whole lot
of life going on here

1251
00:53:25,149 --> 00:53:26,867
that has nothing
to do with us.

1252
00:53:26,989 --> 00:53:29,025
This isn't the surprise
I was looking for.

1253
00:53:29,309 --> 00:53:30,867
You'll be fine
and so will he.

1254
00:53:31,189 --> 00:53:32,383
Oh, thanks, Mom.

1255
00:53:32,509 --> 00:53:34,625
Just get a divorce
before he gets you pregnant.

1256
00:53:34,709 --> 00:53:35,778
Amen.

1257
00:53:35,869 --> 00:53:37,507
Tanner needs you,
Uncle Russell.

1258
00:53:38,149 --> 00:53:40,345
Hey, buddy, come here.

1259
00:53:43,030 --> 00:53:44,702
Who are they?

1260
00:53:44,790 --> 00:53:46,860
Uh, this is ours. Hi.

1261
00:53:47,030 --> 00:53:48,030
Tanner.

1262
00:53:48,710 --> 00:53:49,825
Can you say hi?

1263
00:53:50,470 --> 00:53:51,949
Say hi, Grandma, hi, Grandpa.

1264
00:53:52,030 --> 00:53:53,030
Yes.

1265
00:53:53,230 --> 00:53:55,221
And, uh, Charlie is my child.

1266
00:53:55,310 --> 00:53:56,663
That I adopted.

1267
00:53:56,830 --> 00:53:58,821
I came from a sperm donor.
That's right.

1268
00:53:58,910 --> 00:54:00,707
He might have been named Steven.
Mmm-hmm.

1269
00:54:02,710 --> 00:54:04,587
Those were your grandparents.
Mmm-hmm?

1270
00:54:04,870 --> 00:54:07,145
And I put on a bra for this?

1271
00:54:11,910 --> 00:54:12,910
Oh.

1272
00:54:14,230 --> 00:54:16,187
Look, it's black.

1273
00:54:17,511 --> 00:54:19,627
Oh! Now,
that's the last straw.

1274
00:54:19,711 --> 00:54:20,746
What?

1275
00:54:20,831 --> 00:54:21,900
The tire, it's flat.
Oh.

1276
00:54:22,871 --> 00:54:24,543
Don't worry, Fluffy.

1277
00:54:24,671 --> 00:54:26,150
We'll get it fixed tomorrow.

1278
00:54:26,711 --> 00:54:28,224
The tire, maybe.

1279
00:54:28,871 --> 00:54:29,986
You don't need this.

1280
00:54:30,071 --> 00:54:34,428
Look, you told me that your parents
were mentally incapacitated.

1281
00:54:34,551 --> 00:54:36,064
Trust me, they are.

1282
00:54:36,151 --> 00:54:39,382
Oh? They are, and besides,
it was our first date.

1283
00:54:39,871 --> 00:54:42,021
Okay, who doesn't lie
on their first date?

1284
00:54:42,111 --> 00:54:45,183
Oh, really? Well, what about
our second date and 50th date

1285
00:54:45,271 --> 00:54:47,102
and what about the, um...

1286
00:54:47,191 --> 00:54:49,989
Hey! Oh! The time that we
had a child together?

1287
00:54:50,071 --> 00:54:53,508
Do you realize that you lied to me
about your parents?

1288
00:54:53,592 --> 00:54:55,662
I lie to everybody
about my parents.

1289
00:54:55,752 --> 00:54:56,980
Oh, that's reassuring.

1290
00:54:57,072 --> 00:54:59,302
I lie about my horrible
life in that trailer park.

1291
00:54:59,432 --> 00:55:02,265
I was a freshman in high school,
saving every dime that I had

1292
00:55:02,392 --> 00:55:04,383
so that I could
just get out of there.

1293
00:55:04,472 --> 00:55:07,191
No graduation,
cap, gown, on a bus.

1294
00:55:07,272 --> 00:55:09,581
Good, I get it,
you hate your parents.

1295
00:55:09,672 --> 00:55:10,991
No, I don't hate them.

1296
00:55:11,072 --> 00:55:12,712
They're my parents,
so I love them, but...

1297
00:55:13,752 --> 00:55:15,185
Honey, it's not...

1298
00:55:15,272 --> 00:55:17,627
It's just that they're
wrong about so much

1299
00:55:17,752 --> 00:55:20,141
and they're wrong
about how they treat people,

1300
00:55:20,272 --> 00:55:22,448
they're wrong about how they
honor people's differences...

1301
00:55:22,472 --> 00:55:23,905
You know what's
the worst part,

1302
00:55:23,992 --> 00:55:25,789
is that you lied
to them about me.

1303
00:55:25,953 --> 00:55:29,129
Why? Because it's so
terrible to be married to a towel-head!

1304
00:55:30,273 --> 00:55:31,865
How embarrassing for you.

1305
00:55:31,953 --> 00:55:33,944
Yeah, they should have
called me Dr. Towel-Head.

1306
00:55:34,033 --> 00:55:35,033
Where are you going?

1307
00:55:37,273 --> 00:55:38,273
Ready?

1308
00:55:39,953 --> 00:55:41,306
Good.

1309
00:55:44,473 --> 00:55:45,508
Okay.

1310
00:55:45,633 --> 00:55:46,782
Good!

1311
00:55:46,873 --> 00:55:47,908
How'd I do?

1312
00:55:47,993 --> 00:55:50,143
Amazing. You were so good.
Yeah. Yeah.

1313
00:55:50,233 --> 00:55:51,382
It was really...
Help?

1314
00:55:51,473 --> 00:55:53,031
Oh, oh, sorry, sorry.

1315
00:55:53,153 --> 00:55:54,871
Um, I think
I'm going to go to yoga.

1316
00:55:54,993 --> 00:55:55,993
Yeah, yeah, please.

1317
00:55:56,073 --> 00:55:58,109
No, yeah,
a little safer, I guess.

1318
00:55:58,993 --> 00:56:02,304
Hey, look,
I need your guys' help.

1319
00:56:02,434 --> 00:56:03,434
Oh!

1320
00:56:03,754 --> 00:56:05,472
Yeah, we've got
the perfect girl for you.

1321
00:56:05,554 --> 00:56:06,907
No, no, no, not that.

1322
00:56:06,994 --> 00:56:08,632
Look, um,
I want to know everything

1323
00:56:08,714 --> 00:56:10,306
you guys know
about this Tommy kid.

1324
00:56:10,514 --> 00:56:12,823
I like his mother, Denise.
I know!

1325
00:56:12,914 --> 00:56:14,791
She's always
volunteering for school.

1326
00:56:14,874 --> 00:56:16,102
That's nice.

1327
00:56:16,194 --> 00:56:18,310
Her banana bread is nothing
to write home about.

1328
00:56:18,434 --> 00:56:19,583
It's dry on a good day.

1329
00:56:19,674 --> 00:56:22,234
Okay, I don't need you talking
trash about her bake sale goods.

1330
00:56:22,354 --> 00:56:25,073
Look, I want to know,
should I let her date him?

1331
00:56:25,154 --> 00:56:26,587
Do you have a choice?

1332
00:56:26,994 --> 00:56:28,194
Where's the yoga class?

1333
00:56:28,234 --> 00:56:30,114
It's right over there.
It starts at 10:00.

1334
00:56:30,354 --> 00:56:31,548
Sorry.

1335
00:56:36,514 --> 00:56:37,664
Where's he going?

1336
00:56:41,035 --> 00:56:42,673
Hey, what are you
doing back there?

1337
00:56:42,995 --> 00:56:44,826
Uh... Just checking your form.

1338
00:56:44,915 --> 00:56:45,984
It's good. Nice job.

1339
00:56:46,075 --> 00:56:47,155
Buns of steel, right?

1340
00:56:47,515 --> 00:56:50,666
No, no, no. Yeah, I have a choice, okay?
I'm her father.

1341
00:56:50,755 --> 00:56:53,110
Hmm. If you say no,
they start rebelling,

1342
00:56:53,195 --> 00:56:55,151
start telling lies
and keeping secrets.

1343
00:56:55,235 --> 00:56:56,987
Sneaking out, running away.

1344
00:56:57,075 --> 00:57:00,670
Yeah, it could lead to meth,
prostitution and possibly dating a drummer.

1345
00:57:00,795 --> 00:57:02,433
Okay, look, that's not
helpful right now.

1346
00:57:02,555 --> 00:57:05,627
I want to know one thing,
is he a nice boy or not a nice boy?

1347
00:57:05,715 --> 00:57:08,024
That's it.
All redheads are nice.

1348
00:57:08,755 --> 00:57:10,427
I think he's a nice boy.
Yeah.

1349
00:57:11,315 --> 00:57:12,635
He's all right.

1350
00:57:12,716 --> 00:57:14,229
So, what about Mother's Day?

1351
00:57:15,596 --> 00:57:16,995
Uh, I'll be back.

1352
00:57:18,876 --> 00:57:19,996
Sleep tight, Katie.

1353
00:57:20,596 --> 00:57:23,906
All right,
finally got her down to sleep

1354
00:57:23,996 --> 00:57:26,226
just in time for
you to take her home.

1355
00:57:27,996 --> 00:57:31,750
Hello, I'm sensing
some disappointment.

1356
00:57:32,516 --> 00:57:34,791
I would have heard back
from the club by now.

1357
00:57:34,876 --> 00:57:36,753
I don't get it.
I thought I killed.

1358
00:57:36,836 --> 00:57:40,146
I'm sure you murdered,
destroyed, annihilated.

1359
00:57:40,636 --> 00:57:43,355
I must have been better
than the girl with the banjo.

1360
00:57:43,436 --> 00:57:47,271
Hey, you are the most
talented comic in this town.

1361
00:57:49,437 --> 00:57:51,348
We open in 10 minutes, people.

1362
00:57:51,437 --> 00:57:53,587
Sh... What are you, Shorty?

1363
00:57:53,677 --> 00:57:55,907
No, I'm just yelling for two.
Ah.

1364
00:57:56,837 --> 00:57:57,986
Oh, oh...

1365
00:57:58,077 --> 00:58:01,308
Um, Zack, is there any way that
you can watch Katie tomorrow?

1366
00:58:01,437 --> 00:58:03,792
I told Val that I'd take her
to a doctor's appointment.

1367
00:58:03,957 --> 00:58:07,791
You're taking me to
my doctor's appointment. Yup.

1368
00:58:07,957 --> 00:58:09,754
A llama? I would love... Yes.

1369
00:58:09,837 --> 00:58:11,475
They would love that.

1370
00:58:11,597 --> 00:58:13,133
Okay. Oh, sorry.
You know what?

1371
00:58:13,157 --> 00:58:15,796
Can I call you right back?
I have to call you right back.

1372
00:58:15,877 --> 00:58:16,946
Thank you.

1373
00:58:17,837 --> 00:58:21,273
Hey, Jesse! Honey, I need you to come
over Saturday morning with Tanner.

1374
00:58:21,357 --> 00:58:23,394
Well, I'm having
a small party for the kids.

1375
00:58:23,478 --> 00:58:24,998
Don't you think
they would like a llama

1376
00:58:25,078 --> 00:58:26,614
way more than they'd
like the Foo Fighters?

1377
00:58:26,638 --> 00:58:27,753
I mean, come on.

1378
00:58:33,398 --> 00:58:37,152
Earl, I'm looking at the
girls when they were younger.

1379
00:58:37,318 --> 00:58:39,786
Loving can hurt

1380
00:58:41,478 --> 00:58:44,311
Loving can hurt sometimes

1381
00:58:46,038 --> 00:58:50,668
But it's the only
thing that I know

1382
00:58:56,118 --> 00:58:58,758
We keep this love
in a photograph

1383
00:59:00,519 --> 00:59:03,829
We made these memories
for ourselves

1384
00:59:03,919 --> 00:59:06,194
Where our eyes
are never closing

1385
00:59:06,279 --> 00:59:08,474
Hearts are never broken

1386
00:59:08,559 --> 00:59:11,551
Time's forever frozen still

1387
00:59:19,799 --> 00:59:23,678
I will remember
how you kissed me

1388
00:59:24,039 --> 00:59:28,112
Under the lamppost
Back on 6th street

1389
00:59:28,359 --> 00:59:31,192
Hearing you whisper
through the phone

1390
00:59:32,679 --> 00:59:35,114
"Wait for me
to come home"

1391
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:44,272
Hello, everybody!
Welcome to Sandy's party!

1392
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:45,793
All right!

1393
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:48,075
We've got Bella
the Balloon Lady,

1394
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:50,310
we've got Marty,
the animal wrangler!

1395
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:53,631
Hi! We've got
Pinwheel painting faces,

1396
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:55,790
and a big slide!

1397
00:59:57,040 --> 00:59:58,439
Wow.
Hi.

1398
01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:01,633
This is something.

1399
01:00:01,720 --> 01:00:03,711
Yeah, I don't know
what happened.

1400
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:06,075
I just called to rent
Bella the Balloon Lady,

1401
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:07,416
and I just couldn't
stop saying yes.

1402
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:08,668
No, no, I like it.

1403
01:00:08,801 --> 01:00:10,297
- And then all of this.
- Can we go see the llama?

1404
01:00:10,321 --> 01:00:12,232
Yeah, why don't you go.

1405
01:00:12,321 --> 01:00:13,640
Let me talk to Sandy.

1406
01:00:13,761 --> 01:00:15,080
Go to the petting
zoo, honey.

1407
01:00:15,161 --> 01:00:16,355
Tortoises, bunnies...

1408
01:00:16,441 --> 01:00:17,874
Come on, Tanner.

1409
01:00:17,961 --> 01:00:19,681
So, you have not
heard from Russell?

1410
01:00:19,761 --> 01:00:23,310
Not a peep, radio silence.

1411
01:00:23,761 --> 01:00:25,911
Oh, God. I'm so sorry.

1412
01:00:26,601 --> 01:00:28,557
Well, at least you
have Tanner, you know?

1413
01:00:28,921 --> 01:00:29,921
He won't bite.

1414
01:00:30,161 --> 01:00:32,038
Of course, until the day
that you get a divorce

1415
01:00:32,121 --> 01:00:34,681
and then you have to have
that 50/50 shared custody

1416
01:00:34,761 --> 01:00:36,513
and then it's just,
like, hell.

1417
01:00:37,681 --> 01:00:39,592
That's my life.
Wait a second.

1418
01:00:39,681 --> 01:00:41,121
That's not your life,
that's my life.

1419
01:00:42,161 --> 01:00:43,753
Indians don't
really get divorced.

1420
01:00:46,002 --> 01:00:47,481
Tire's good.

1421
01:00:47,602 --> 01:00:48,955
I'm all packed.

1422
01:00:49,522 --> 01:00:54,357
Now, we can put a whole lot of
gone between us and these, uh...

1423
01:00:55,442 --> 01:00:56,795
These, uh...

1424
01:00:58,322 --> 01:00:59,357
Oh!

1425
01:00:59,442 --> 01:01:00,921
Hot damn!

1426
01:01:01,002 --> 01:01:02,674
What is it, Earl?

1427
01:01:02,802 --> 01:01:05,953
Someone stole
my ignition fuse!

1428
01:01:06,202 --> 01:01:08,272
What are we going to do now?

1429
01:01:10,602 --> 01:01:13,833
There's a Pep Boys
about a mile back.

1430
01:01:15,042 --> 01:01:17,078
I'm going to start walking.

1431
01:01:23,723 --> 01:01:25,839
Yeah!

1432
01:01:26,043 --> 01:01:27,362
Can I ride the llama?

1433
01:01:27,483 --> 01:01:29,360
No.
How about the alpaca?

1434
01:01:29,483 --> 01:01:30,518
It's a fun party.

1435
01:01:30,643 --> 01:01:32,219
Can you open this, Sam?
Yeah, we can't open...

1436
01:01:32,243 --> 01:01:34,120
Sure.

1437
01:01:53,123 --> 01:01:54,272
Yeah, hey,
how are you doing?

1438
01:01:54,523 --> 01:01:56,860
Hey, I'm doing good.
You like some spaghetti?

1439
01:01:56,884 --> 01:01:57,919
I'm good, thanks.

1440
01:02:01,244 --> 01:02:03,121
You don't like
any spaghetti.

1441
01:02:03,244 --> 01:02:04,563
Back up, Bozo.

1442
01:02:04,644 --> 01:02:06,521
Oh.
The fireworks arrived.

1443
01:02:06,604 --> 01:02:08,834
So, I'm going to
go check on Tanner.

1444
01:02:11,204 --> 01:02:13,513
Sandy, what's going on?
Yeah. Hey.

1445
01:02:14,564 --> 01:02:16,043
Oh, I so...

1446
01:02:16,124 --> 01:02:18,592
I'm so sorry.
I completely lost track of time.

1447
01:02:18,684 --> 01:02:20,197
I'm supposed to
drop the boys off.

1448
01:02:20,364 --> 01:02:22,116
I'm so sorry.
What is all this?

1449
01:02:22,884 --> 01:02:24,840
It's a party.
For what?

1450
01:02:25,364 --> 01:02:28,674
For fun, on a Saturday...
For fun on a Saturday,

1451
01:02:28,764 --> 01:02:29,860
a party for fun
on a Saturday.

1452
01:02:29,884 --> 01:02:31,603
This is completely
unlike you.

1453
01:02:31,725 --> 01:02:33,221
What do you mean?
It feels totally like me.

1454
01:02:33,245 --> 01:02:34,803
This is completely
irresponsible.

1455
01:02:34,885 --> 01:02:37,399
Irresponsible?
I'm irresponsible?

1456
01:02:38,885 --> 01:02:40,125
You can call me
a lot of things,

1457
01:02:40,245 --> 01:02:41,685
but irresponsible
is not one of them.

1458
01:02:41,725 --> 01:02:43,061
Listen to me,
when was the last time

1459
01:02:43,085 --> 01:02:44,438
you took the kids
to a dentist?

1460
01:02:45,925 --> 01:02:46,960
Huh?

1461
01:02:47,085 --> 01:02:48,916
Or to go buy them,
you know, school supplies

1462
01:02:49,085 --> 01:02:52,077
or one of the gazillion
things that I do?

1463
01:02:52,165 --> 01:02:54,156
Oh, that's right.
Never.

1464
01:02:56,325 --> 01:02:59,237
You have a parental
and legal responsibility

1465
01:02:59,325 --> 01:03:02,158
to drop the kids off
at the designated time.

1466
01:03:02,245 --> 01:03:03,519
Today is Saturday.

1467
01:03:03,605 --> 01:03:05,402
We have them at noon.

1468
01:03:06,606 --> 01:03:09,598
You have them tomorrow
on Mother's Day.

1469
01:03:10,126 --> 01:03:11,822
Let's go, Mikey, time to go.
Do we have to?

1470
01:03:11,846 --> 01:03:13,916
Yes, now, we do.
Where's your brother?

1471
01:03:14,006 --> 01:03:15,962
He's on the slide.
Go get your stuff.

1472
01:03:17,366 --> 01:03:19,436
Peter. Let's go.

1473
01:03:19,526 --> 01:03:20,675
Get down here
right now.

1474
01:03:20,766 --> 01:03:22,996
No way, I'm not leaving.
Mom said we can have fun.

1475
01:03:23,086 --> 01:03:25,062
I don't care what your mom said.
I'm in charge now.

1476
01:03:25,086 --> 01:03:26,822
I'm going to count to three
and then I'm coming up there,

1477
01:03:26,846 --> 01:03:28,438
one, two, three.
Here I come.

1478
01:03:28,526 --> 01:03:29,595
I'm coming up.

1479
01:03:29,966 --> 01:03:32,036
Hey. Come on,
Peter. Peter!

1480
01:03:35,126 --> 01:03:36,354
Got to catch me first.

1481
01:03:41,247 --> 01:03:42,282
Go get your stuff!

1482
01:03:44,127 --> 01:03:45,242
Hey, get your stuff.

1483
01:03:45,327 --> 01:03:46,943
Oh, sweetie, I wouldn't
touch that if I were... That...

1484
01:03:46,967 --> 01:03:48,366
But I like orange.

1485
01:03:48,527 --> 01:03:49,642
Damn it, Peter.

1486
01:03:49,727 --> 01:03:50,796
Hey, we've got to go.

1487
01:03:50,887 --> 01:03:53,765
Oh, well, in that case,
sure, you know, go ahead.

1488
01:03:55,647 --> 01:03:56,966
What the...

1489
01:03:57,127 --> 01:03:58,127
Yo!

1490
01:04:01,167 --> 01:04:02,282
Hello!

1491
01:04:02,367 --> 01:04:04,517
Hey! This thing is... God.

1492
01:04:15,407 --> 01:04:16,824
Welcome to the book
signing, everyone.

1493
01:04:16,848 --> 01:04:18,884
We're here because there's
so few book stores left,

1494
01:04:18,968 --> 01:04:20,168
but there will
always be books.

1495
01:04:22,648 --> 01:04:24,161
Thank you very much.

1496
01:04:24,568 --> 01:04:25,744
Who shall I
make it out to?

1497
01:04:25,768 --> 01:04:27,247
Rory Schroeder.

1498
01:04:27,488 --> 01:04:28,488
Rory.

1499
01:04:28,568 --> 01:04:30,923
Every piece of jewelry I own
is from your collection.

1500
01:04:31,008 --> 01:04:32,919
I love them,
and so does Jerald.

1501
01:04:33,008 --> 01:04:34,646
But they look
better on me.

1502
01:04:35,528 --> 01:04:36,847
Who shall I make it out to?

1503
01:04:38,928 --> 01:04:39,997
Your daughter.

1504
01:04:48,048 --> 01:04:50,198
So, tell me,
why now?

1505
01:04:52,129 --> 01:04:54,120
Well, I just thought
because she was in Atlanta,

1506
01:04:54,209 --> 01:04:56,404
it would be a good time.

1507
01:04:56,529 --> 01:04:57,529
I see.

1508
01:04:57,609 --> 01:05:00,065
You know, you're the fourth person
to say they're her daughter.

1509
01:05:00,089 --> 01:05:03,365
Of course, after Forbes
listed Miranda as the top 50

1510
01:05:03,449 --> 01:05:06,486
female entrepreneurs
in this country, how convenient.

1511
01:05:07,729 --> 01:05:08,878
I have this.

1512
01:05:13,369 --> 01:05:16,520
Anybody could have forged
this and even if it's real,

1513
01:05:16,609 --> 01:05:18,249
you're not going to get
a dime out of her.

1514
01:05:20,769 --> 01:05:23,124
Okay, this was
a mistake. I...

1515
01:05:24,729 --> 01:05:25,985
Could you please
just let her know

1516
01:05:26,009 --> 01:05:28,843
that I never wanted
anything from her?

1517
01:05:37,650 --> 01:05:39,368
Well, that was historic.

1518
01:05:39,450 --> 01:05:42,248
That was a historic
disaster.

1519
01:05:44,290 --> 01:05:45,290
Oh...

1520
01:05:47,170 --> 01:05:49,638
I mean, this is
all so stupid.

1521
01:05:49,770 --> 01:05:51,362
This is so stupid.

1522
01:05:51,450 --> 01:05:53,406
Look at all this.
What am I doing?

1523
01:05:53,490 --> 01:05:55,082
I mean, you know...

1524
01:05:56,290 --> 01:05:58,201
Ugh, I feel like
such an idiot.

1525
01:05:58,290 --> 01:06:01,282
So, what I'm basically doing
is I'm trying to compete

1526
01:06:01,450 --> 01:06:04,443
with my ex-husband
and a 20-year-old.

1527
01:06:04,531 --> 01:06:07,443
That just makes a lot
of sense, right, Jess?

1528
01:06:08,291 --> 01:06:09,724
It's stupid.

1529
01:06:09,811 --> 01:06:11,290
You know what it is?

1530
01:06:12,771 --> 01:06:15,763
I just...
I just hate feeling so replaceable.

1531
01:06:17,611 --> 01:06:18,885
Well, sadly we all are.

1532
01:06:19,011 --> 01:06:21,479
Oh, geez, you scared
the crap out of me.

1533
01:06:22,051 --> 01:06:23,245
I mean, we're
all replaceable.

1534
01:06:23,331 --> 01:06:26,289
For every professional clown,
there's 100 hacks with a red nose and a wig

1535
01:06:26,371 --> 01:06:27,371
waiting to do the job.

1536
01:06:28,051 --> 01:06:30,201
Yeah, I understand.
Thanks, clown.

1537
01:06:30,531 --> 01:06:31,600
Jesse?

1538
01:06:31,811 --> 01:06:34,245
There's no way that the bond
you have with your kids

1539
01:06:34,331 --> 01:06:35,810
can ever be broken.

1540
01:06:35,891 --> 01:06:37,187
I mean, there's
no contest, right?

1541
01:06:37,211 --> 01:06:39,248
You're their mom.
Mmm-hmm.

1542
01:06:39,452 --> 01:06:40,487
Oh, let me help.

1543
01:06:41,572 --> 01:06:42,572
Oh...

1544
01:06:43,772 --> 01:06:45,967
Thank... Okay.

1545
01:06:48,652 --> 01:06:49,880
Yeah? See?

1546
01:06:49,972 --> 01:06:52,964
It's this, I get it,
never-ending scarf bit.

1547
01:06:54,812 --> 01:06:56,988
Yeah, it's the first time you
got to use this one today, huh?

1548
01:06:57,012 --> 01:06:58,411
Ah...

1549
01:06:58,492 --> 01:07:00,403
Got a smile from you.
That's great.

1550
01:07:00,492 --> 01:07:02,084
Do you mind if I rub...

1551
01:07:02,172 --> 01:07:03,571
Please.
Thank you very much.

1552
01:07:03,652 --> 01:07:05,308
It's always the traditional
things that work,

1553
01:07:05,332 --> 01:07:07,050
the bottomless
sleeve hanky,

1554
01:07:07,132 --> 01:07:09,088
the bottomless
cup of coffee,

1555
01:07:09,172 --> 01:07:11,481
the bottomless love
from a mother to her kids.

1556
01:07:12,412 --> 01:07:15,928
They know it's there.
Sometimes they just take it for granted.

1557
01:07:16,413 --> 01:07:17,413
Yeah.

1558
01:07:17,493 --> 01:07:18,812
So what if
the other girl is 20,

1559
01:07:18,893 --> 01:07:21,168
has great skin and probably
looks insane in a bikini?

1560
01:07:21,613 --> 01:07:23,808
Okay, that's good,
I get it.

1561
01:07:23,893 --> 01:07:24,973
Nice pep talk there, clown.

1562
01:07:26,333 --> 01:07:27,607
Thank you, clown.

1563
01:07:27,693 --> 01:07:31,129
Never thought I'd ever hear myself
say that, but thank you, clown.

1564
01:07:31,213 --> 01:07:32,487
My pleasure.

1565
01:07:37,013 --> 01:07:38,013
Mmm.

1566
01:07:38,133 --> 01:07:40,522
A heart-to-heart with a clown.

1567
01:07:41,533 --> 01:07:43,524
There was not
a soul to see that.

1568
01:07:43,613 --> 01:07:46,207
He could have murdered me.
Okay.

1569
01:07:46,373 --> 01:07:48,968
Jesse, you home?

1570
01:07:50,214 --> 01:07:52,045
Hey, I'm getting a beer!

1571
01:07:59,214 --> 01:08:01,205
Hello. Who are you?

1572
01:08:01,814 --> 01:08:03,247
Well, who are you?

1573
01:08:03,374 --> 01:08:05,444
Sonia, mother of Russell.

1574
01:08:06,294 --> 01:08:09,730
Yeah, well, I'm Florence,
mother of Jesse.

1575
01:08:11,254 --> 01:08:14,246
Florence, nice to meet you!

1576
01:08:16,734 --> 01:08:19,532
Ugh, I heard about your
surprise drop-in.

1577
01:08:19,614 --> 01:08:21,127
Are you okay?

1578
01:08:21,214 --> 01:08:22,567
I think so.

1579
01:08:24,335 --> 01:08:25,563
I'm not real sure.

1580
01:08:25,655 --> 01:08:26,655
Are you having a beer?

1581
01:08:27,175 --> 01:08:28,244
Yeah.

1582
01:08:28,695 --> 01:08:29,764
I think I'll join you.

1583
01:08:33,815 --> 01:08:35,009
To say the truth,

1584
01:08:35,135 --> 01:08:37,603
when Russell told me he was
in love with a white girl,

1585
01:08:37,775 --> 01:08:39,174
I wanted to punch a wall.

1586
01:08:39,255 --> 01:08:40,927
Well, at least
you knew about it.

1587
01:08:41,055 --> 01:08:42,170
And then they eloped

1588
01:08:42,255 --> 01:08:43,991
and they didn't even
invite me to the wedding.

1589
01:08:44,015 --> 01:08:45,289
They didn't even tell me.

1590
01:08:45,415 --> 01:08:48,293
Yeah, well, I'm double spitting
just thinking about it.

1591
01:08:50,255 --> 01:08:52,974
Thought I was finished with them,

1592
01:08:53,055 --> 01:08:54,283
but they're my baby girls.

1593
01:08:55,695 --> 01:09:00,406
But, Florence, have you
seen our grandchild? Oh...

1594
01:09:00,696 --> 01:09:03,005
I get why they
call him Tanner.

1595
01:09:03,136 --> 01:09:04,728
He's a little dark.

1596
01:09:05,456 --> 01:09:07,367
I think he's a little light.

1597
01:09:07,776 --> 01:09:09,368
Hey, what time
is it in India?

1598
01:09:09,456 --> 01:09:11,208
India? Who knows.

1599
01:09:11,296 --> 01:09:13,127
I live here in Las Vegas.

1600
01:09:13,216 --> 01:09:17,414
No taxes, and I play
the slots anytime I want.

1601
01:09:17,616 --> 01:09:19,368
Hey, smart move.

1602
01:09:19,456 --> 01:09:21,526
Plus, you can drive 20
miles in any direction

1603
01:09:21,656 --> 01:09:23,965
and find some sand
when you get homesick, right?

1604
01:09:24,136 --> 01:09:27,606
I don't get that joke,
but it sounds racist, and funny.

1605
01:09:36,817 --> 01:09:37,932
Hi, Grandma!

1606
01:09:38,417 --> 01:09:39,611
Hey.

1607
01:09:39,697 --> 01:09:41,657
Could you watch Tanner a minute?
I have to go pee.

1608
01:09:42,137 --> 01:09:43,889
Thank you.

1609
01:10:01,737 --> 01:10:03,170
Here we go!

1610
01:10:09,938 --> 01:10:12,213
I think you look
a little like me.

1611
01:10:13,578 --> 01:10:14,578
Uh-huh.

1612
01:10:14,778 --> 01:10:16,257
Yes, you do.

1613
01:10:16,378 --> 01:10:18,096
I think you do.

1614
01:10:18,178 --> 01:10:21,136
You look just like
me in the summertime.

1615
01:10:36,858 --> 01:10:38,194
Lakens, thank you
so much for coming.

1616
01:10:38,218 --> 01:10:39,537
We'll see you next time.

1617
01:10:40,218 --> 01:10:42,049
Well, everything
looks good here.

1618
01:10:42,138 --> 01:10:44,652
Will you be joining us for
tomorrow's Mother's Day brunch?

1619
01:10:44,738 --> 01:10:46,252
No, I'm working.
Oh...

1620
01:10:46,459 --> 01:10:47,653
Are you a mom?

1621
01:10:48,299 --> 01:10:49,334
No.

1622
01:10:50,219 --> 01:10:53,529
I don't suppose you'd like
a complimentary mum for Mum's Day?

1623
01:10:54,219 --> 01:10:55,288
No.

1624
01:10:56,699 --> 01:10:58,655
If you need anything,
just ask.

1625
01:11:01,819 --> 01:11:04,572
I'm sorry to interrupt
your dinner, my dear.

1626
01:11:08,499 --> 01:11:10,330
Fried green tomatoes.

1627
01:11:10,739 --> 01:11:14,209
Lance, you're my agent and I love you,
which is an oxymoron,

1628
01:11:14,299 --> 01:11:17,530
but if you are here for
some philosophical chat,

1629
01:11:17,619 --> 01:11:20,053
short, short would
be good here.

1630
01:11:20,580 --> 01:11:24,573
Yes, you know me as Lance Wallace,
agent to the stars.

1631
01:11:24,780 --> 01:11:26,259
You used to have
big stars.

1632
01:11:26,340 --> 01:11:27,500
Now you just have me.

1633
01:11:28,180 --> 01:11:29,180
Mmm.

1634
01:11:29,340 --> 01:11:32,093
But you really know
I was born in the Bronx

1635
01:11:32,180 --> 01:11:34,569
and my name was
Ramone Navarro,

1636
01:11:35,260 --> 01:11:38,616
who collected empty soda
bottles to get money to eat.

1637
01:11:40,060 --> 01:11:43,609
We are who the world thinks we
are and sometimes, we're not.

1638
01:11:44,140 --> 01:11:46,335
We decide who we are,

1639
01:11:46,420 --> 01:11:49,412
when we want and
who we want to know.

1640
01:11:51,500 --> 01:11:53,013
Or is it whom?

1641
01:11:54,300 --> 01:11:55,619
Are you done, Ramone?

1642
01:11:56,981 --> 01:11:58,380
Just doing my job,
to make sure

1643
01:11:58,461 --> 01:12:01,533
that nothing lowers
the kilowatts on that smile.

1644
01:12:02,501 --> 01:12:03,501
Hmm.

1645
01:12:05,501 --> 01:12:08,618
Oh, you're right, you're right,
that is the salad fork.

1646
01:12:18,421 --> 01:12:20,221
Hey, change of plan.

1647
01:12:20,261 --> 01:12:21,410
I got the call.

1648
01:12:21,501 --> 01:12:22,637
One of the girls
had to pull out.

1649
01:12:22,661 --> 01:12:25,129
She got a comedy
series for NBC.

1650
01:12:25,261 --> 01:12:26,819
It'll probably be canceled,
but anyway,

1651
01:12:26,901 --> 01:12:28,380
I'm in the final tonight.

1652
01:12:28,461 --> 01:12:29,530
Where are you?

1653
01:12:29,621 --> 01:12:30,974
I've got Katie.

1654
01:12:31,101 --> 01:12:32,171
She's fine.

1655
01:12:32,902 --> 01:12:33,902
Bye.

1656
01:12:34,022 --> 01:12:35,462
Good stuff.
Okay, next up.

1657
01:12:39,822 --> 01:12:42,017
Good night.

1658
01:12:44,662 --> 01:12:45,662
Oh...

1659
01:12:46,862 --> 01:12:48,773
I shouldn't be watching this.

1660
01:12:51,902 --> 01:12:53,051
Good night.

1661
01:12:55,342 --> 01:12:58,015
Good night.
Yeah, yeah, good night.

1662
01:13:08,863 --> 01:13:10,182
Good night.

1663
01:13:19,663 --> 01:13:20,663
I'm home.

1664
01:13:20,743 --> 01:13:22,096
Well, how...

1665
01:13:23,703 --> 01:13:24,977
Good night.

1666
01:13:30,663 --> 01:13:32,494
You used to say good night.

1667
01:13:33,543 --> 01:13:36,376
It'd take you hours
to say good night, actually.

1668
01:13:41,223 --> 01:13:43,419
Hey, honey,
where are you?

1669
01:13:43,504 --> 01:13:44,983
I'm getting worried.

1670
01:13:45,424 --> 01:13:48,336
If you're thinking
of splitting, please don't.

1671
01:13:49,104 --> 01:13:52,414
Let's just keep loving
each other and Katie.

1672
01:13:55,224 --> 01:13:56,737
I don't want to marry you.

1673
01:13:57,144 --> 01:13:59,339
I mean, I do
want to marry you,

1674
01:13:59,424 --> 01:14:01,574
but we don't
have to get married.

1675
01:14:01,664 --> 01:14:03,859
If you get this,
please come to the club.

1676
01:14:03,944 --> 01:14:05,263
I love you.

1677
01:14:08,104 --> 01:14:10,493
This competition
is worth $5,000.

1678
01:14:10,584 --> 01:14:13,701
Zack Zim, you're in
the finals, by default.

1679
01:14:13,784 --> 01:14:15,740
Good for you.
Aw...

1680
01:14:17,104 --> 01:14:20,142
That is the most adorable
baby I've ever seen.

1681
01:14:20,225 --> 01:14:22,145
Would you be able to watch
her while I do my set?

1682
01:14:22,185 --> 01:14:23,413
No.

1683
01:14:23,825 --> 01:14:26,259
Welcome to the stage,
Zack Zim.

1684
01:14:26,785 --> 01:14:28,921
Zack Zim, he's very...
Oh, that's you.

1685
01:14:28,945 --> 01:14:30,537
All right, go on
out there, kid.

1686
01:14:30,625 --> 01:14:32,625
Come on, I'm rooting for you.
I'll be out in front.

1687
01:14:37,585 --> 01:14:39,462
Uh...

1688
01:14:39,545 --> 01:14:40,694
Hello.

1689
01:14:41,585 --> 01:14:42,585
Um...

1690
01:14:42,745 --> 01:14:44,224
So, I'm Zack.

1691
01:14:44,425 --> 01:14:46,461
Uh, this is Katie.

1692
01:14:47,305 --> 01:14:48,943
Say hi.

1693
01:14:49,625 --> 01:14:51,217
She's a bit shy.

1694
01:14:52,105 --> 01:14:55,621
I'll just say this from the get-go,
this wasn't planned.

1695
01:14:56,666 --> 01:14:58,226
Coming out here with
her wasn't planned,

1696
01:14:58,306 --> 01:15:00,297
not she wasn't planned,

1697
01:15:00,426 --> 01:15:03,145
although to be fair,
you were a little bit of a surprise.

1698
01:15:03,266 --> 01:15:04,301
Didn't like that joke.

1699
01:15:06,826 --> 01:15:07,826
Uh...

1700
01:15:09,146 --> 01:15:11,899
So, does anyone in
here have a baby?

1701
01:15:13,506 --> 01:15:15,417
No, obviously you don't.

1702
01:15:15,506 --> 01:15:17,337
You're here having a life.

1703
01:15:18,906 --> 01:15:21,181
No, don't cry, stop crying.

1704
01:15:22,586 --> 01:15:24,019
Five grand at stake.

1705
01:15:25,306 --> 01:15:27,183
Mate, would you mind
holding her for a sec?

1706
01:15:28,427 --> 01:15:29,496
What's your name, pal?

1707
01:15:29,587 --> 01:15:30,587
Tiny.

1708
01:15:30,667 --> 01:15:31,923
Tiny, if you don't
mind me saying,

1709
01:15:31,947 --> 01:15:34,177
you look like you have
a very welcoming bosom.

1710
01:15:35,147 --> 01:15:36,785
May I rest my child on it?

1711
01:15:36,867 --> 01:15:37,902
Sure.

1712
01:15:37,987 --> 01:15:39,027
Just for a sec, thank you.

1713
01:15:56,187 --> 01:15:59,941
I mean, I don't know whether to be
pleased or just deeply offended.

1714
01:16:00,707 --> 01:16:02,538
How did you do that?

1715
01:16:03,708 --> 01:16:05,778
I'm soft, like a couch.

1716
01:16:05,868 --> 01:16:08,063
Please, will you
come and live with us?

1717
01:16:08,148 --> 01:16:09,217
I'm deadly serious.

1718
01:16:09,348 --> 01:16:11,543
I haven't slept in a year.

1719
01:16:11,628 --> 01:16:12,697
I'll take the couch.

1720
01:16:12,828 --> 01:16:14,386
My girlfriend's
very attractive.

1721
01:16:14,548 --> 01:16:16,379
Can your girlfriend
take the couch?

1722
01:16:16,908 --> 01:16:18,466
Oh, my girlfriend, yes.

1723
01:16:18,548 --> 01:16:19,867
That's my sister.

1724
01:16:21,668 --> 01:16:25,138
Hey, can everyone please give it
up for the world's biggest nanny?

1725
01:16:25,268 --> 01:16:27,145
Well done.

1726
01:16:27,228 --> 01:16:28,980
Thank you.
I'll take her back.

1727
01:16:31,748 --> 01:16:32,748
Bye.

1728
01:16:34,068 --> 01:16:35,068
Thank you.
Call me.

1729
01:16:36,868 --> 01:16:38,187
Whoa.

1730
01:16:43,749 --> 01:16:46,627
You know, being a dad
does change you.

1731
01:16:46,709 --> 01:16:48,620
I worry all the time.

1732
01:16:48,709 --> 01:16:50,461
Do I know when she's tired?

1733
01:16:50,549 --> 01:16:52,107
Not really.

1734
01:16:52,189 --> 01:16:53,383
When she's about to be sick?

1735
01:16:54,029 --> 01:16:55,257
Definitely not.

1736
01:16:55,789 --> 01:16:58,257
This is the last
good shirt that I own.

1737
01:17:00,789 --> 01:17:02,381
But her mother knows,

1738
01:17:02,469 --> 01:17:05,108
because in every
atom of their body,

1739
01:17:05,549 --> 01:17:09,701
they know what's right for their
children and for their families.

1740
01:17:11,469 --> 01:17:14,109
Anyway, speaking of parents,
I better get this one back to hers.

1741
01:17:15,910 --> 01:17:17,110
Hey, guys,
thank you very much.

1742
01:17:17,230 --> 01:17:19,300
I've been Zack Zim,
and this has been Katie.

1743
01:17:23,670 --> 01:17:25,308
Aw, what a cute baby.

1744
01:17:25,390 --> 01:17:26,743
I love babies.

1745
01:17:26,830 --> 01:17:28,627
We can have one
if you want.

1746
01:17:28,990 --> 01:17:30,662
It's our first date.

1747
01:17:30,750 --> 01:17:32,866
So, what are you
doing tomorrow?

1748
01:17:33,030 --> 01:17:34,224
Shut up.

1749
01:17:34,510 --> 01:17:35,579
I was freaking out.

1750
01:17:35,670 --> 01:17:37,342
I thought you bailed.
Where were you?

1751
01:17:37,430 --> 01:17:41,139
I'm sorry, you know, usual stuff,
meeting my real mom.

1752
01:17:41,230 --> 01:17:42,458
Your mom, what?

1753
01:17:42,550 --> 01:17:43,550
Yeah, it was awful.

1754
01:17:43,670 --> 01:17:44,670
Awful?

1755
01:17:44,750 --> 01:17:47,548
Just really made me appreciate
what I have. Totally.

1756
01:17:48,310 --> 01:17:49,983
You're the best.

1757
01:17:50,751 --> 01:17:53,060
We have
a unanimous winner.

1758
01:17:53,631 --> 01:17:55,349
Katie Zim.

1759
01:17:57,471 --> 01:17:59,268
Oh, and that guy
with her. Come on up.

1760
01:17:59,351 --> 01:18:00,847
Oh, my God.
Wait, wait, wait, take her.

1761
01:18:00,871 --> 01:18:03,339
She won, you just
held her props, really.

1762
01:18:04,671 --> 01:18:05,807
So, wait, your actual mother?

1763
01:18:05,831 --> 01:18:08,026
Just go get it.
Go, go, go, go, go.

1764
01:18:11,391 --> 01:18:12,619
Congratulations!

1765
01:18:13,951 --> 01:18:15,179
Zack Zim!

1766
01:18:16,071 --> 01:18:18,027
Yeah, we each
got our babies.

1767
01:18:28,032 --> 01:18:31,024
Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mother's Day!

1768
01:18:31,512 --> 01:18:33,821
What? Oh, my God.

1769
01:18:33,912 --> 01:18:37,871
You guys...
You guys are the cutest.

1770
01:18:37,952 --> 01:18:40,512
The banana was my idea,
you know, to stay healthy.

1771
01:18:41,552 --> 01:18:42,951
It's perfect.
I love it.

1772
01:18:43,032 --> 01:18:44,590
Are those M&M pancakes?

1773
01:18:44,672 --> 01:18:46,549
Yeah.
Oh, boy.

1774
01:18:46,632 --> 01:18:47,667
Open my gift.

1775
01:18:47,752 --> 01:18:49,151
Okay, okay, okay.

1776
01:18:50,192 --> 01:18:51,227
Why?

1777
01:18:54,512 --> 01:18:59,666
That's the coolest potato man ever,
period, end of story.

1778
01:19:01,553 --> 01:19:02,952
That's awesome.

1779
01:19:05,473 --> 01:19:07,623
"Thanks for all
that you do.

1780
01:19:07,713 --> 01:19:09,146
"We appreciate you.

1781
01:19:09,233 --> 01:19:11,224
"Happy Mother's Day, Tina."

1782
01:19:12,073 --> 01:19:14,064
You gave her the
wrong gift, you dork.

1783
01:19:14,153 --> 01:19:15,552
Oops, sorry, Mom.

1784
01:19:15,633 --> 01:19:17,589
Oh, that's okay.
That's okay.

1785
01:19:18,113 --> 01:19:19,592
I love you, Mom.

1786
01:19:20,233 --> 01:19:22,189
Thank you. I love you.
This one's for you.

1787
01:19:22,313 --> 01:19:24,588
Okay, okay.

1788
01:19:26,433 --> 01:19:28,628
This is better
than the first one.

1789
01:19:28,713 --> 01:19:29,828
It's even better.

1790
01:19:30,473 --> 01:19:31,473
That's sweet.

1791
01:19:31,833 --> 01:19:34,393
I love him.
Thank you so much.

1792
01:19:35,153 --> 01:19:36,303
This is for you.

1793
01:19:36,394 --> 01:19:37,588
Thanks, babe.

1794
01:19:37,674 --> 01:19:39,949
Did you get
a card for Tina, too?

1795
01:19:40,034 --> 01:19:42,264
Yeah, but a totally
different one.

1796
01:19:43,674 --> 01:19:45,710
I can throw Tina's
away if you want.

1797
01:19:48,194 --> 01:19:49,309
No.

1798
01:19:50,154 --> 01:19:52,031
No, no, no, no,
I don't want you to do that.

1799
01:19:52,394 --> 01:19:53,827
But you're so sad.

1800
01:19:58,594 --> 01:20:01,028
Oh, okay, listen, here,
take this over there for a second.

1801
01:20:01,114 --> 01:20:02,114
Get in here.

1802
01:20:02,474 --> 01:20:03,623
Get in here.

1803
01:20:04,674 --> 01:20:08,826
Vicky, Rachel,
where are you guys?

1804
01:20:10,274 --> 01:20:13,426
Come on, let's wake up,
have a little breakfast, huh?

1805
01:20:15,475 --> 01:20:19,070
Guys, don't make me
come up there.

1806
01:20:19,915 --> 01:20:21,394
It's too late.

1807
01:20:21,475 --> 01:20:23,830
Come on,
let's go, up and at 'em.

1808
01:20:25,235 --> 01:20:26,350
Hey.

1809
01:20:27,235 --> 01:20:29,191
Hey, Vicky!

1810
01:20:29,635 --> 01:20:32,388
Rachel, where are you?

1811
01:20:33,915 --> 01:20:35,371
Hey, Kimberly,
I can't talk right now.

1812
01:20:35,395 --> 01:20:36,611
I don't know
where my girls are.

1813
01:20:36,635 --> 01:20:38,193
The girls are with me.

1814
01:20:38,275 --> 01:20:39,595
What are you
talking about, where?

1815
01:20:42,835 --> 01:20:46,511
I love you so much,

1816
01:20:46,756 --> 01:20:51,307
and, you know, it's just...
It's hard to share, you know?

1817
01:20:51,796 --> 01:20:54,708
Sort of like how you feel about your
LEGO pirate ship.

1818
01:20:54,796 --> 01:20:57,105
You know how you didn't
want anyone to touch it?

1819
01:20:57,636 --> 01:20:59,945
Yeah, well,
that's kind of how I feel.

1820
01:21:00,876 --> 01:21:02,594
But you remember
how good you felt

1821
01:21:02,676 --> 01:21:04,428
when you saw
how happy Nick was

1822
01:21:04,516 --> 01:21:08,031
when he was able to walk
Peg Leg down the plank?

1823
01:21:08,516 --> 01:21:09,585
Right?

1824
01:21:10,316 --> 01:21:13,786
Yeah, that's because it's really,
really good to share.

1825
01:21:13,876 --> 01:21:14,911
It's really good.

1826
01:21:17,076 --> 01:21:18,634
In fact, as I say this,
you know what,

1827
01:21:18,716 --> 01:21:23,233
I think I'm going to take you over to
Daddy's a little later on today, okay?

1828
01:21:24,157 --> 01:21:28,673
So you can give Tina
her awesome potato man.

1829
01:21:29,277 --> 01:21:31,029
You're really
going to share?

1830
01:21:31,157 --> 01:21:32,556
Yeah.

1831
01:21:32,797 --> 01:21:36,756
Yep, I'm going to
share, for an hour.

1832
01:21:37,917 --> 01:21:39,509
An hour, maybe two.
I'll see how I feel.

1833
01:21:39,597 --> 01:21:40,637
How do you
feel about that?

1834
01:21:40,677 --> 01:21:42,076
Yeah.
Yeah?

1835
01:21:48,157 --> 01:21:50,213
We're gonna grab some lunch
and we'll see you at the parade.

1836
01:21:50,237 --> 01:21:51,670
Have fun.

1837
01:21:51,757 --> 01:21:52,906
Bye, Max.

1838
01:21:55,477 --> 01:21:57,196
Were you summoned, too?

1839
01:21:57,278 --> 01:21:59,746
Yep, just wondering if I'm
going to get an opportunity

1840
01:21:59,838 --> 01:22:01,430
to have a last meal.

1841
01:22:01,518 --> 01:22:03,031
Doubtful.

1842
01:22:03,118 --> 01:22:06,110
I mean, they can't
ground us anymore, can they?

1843
01:22:08,918 --> 01:22:10,909
You lied to your mother.

1844
01:22:10,998 --> 01:22:13,831
Mom made me live
alone in college

1845
01:22:13,918 --> 01:22:16,038
'cause she didn't want me to
have a minority roommate.

1846
01:22:16,118 --> 01:22:17,734
Yeah, and she spanked me when
I said I wanted to dress up

1847
01:22:17,758 --> 01:22:18,827
like a guy for Halloween.

1848
01:22:18,918 --> 01:22:22,831
I didn't think Liberace was an
appropriate costume for a little girl.

1849
01:22:26,118 --> 01:22:27,254
Do they
know we're coming?

1850
01:22:27,278 --> 01:22:29,269
Yeah,
I called Daddy earlier.

1851
01:22:34,319 --> 01:22:36,514
I'll pick you up tonight,
just before dinner, okay?

1852
01:22:36,639 --> 01:22:38,869
Bye, Mom.
Bye, I love you.

1853
01:22:39,519 --> 01:22:40,793
Have fun.

1854
01:22:51,959 --> 01:22:53,312
I'm so happy to see you.

1855
01:22:53,399 --> 01:22:54,468
Hi, hi.

1856
01:22:54,879 --> 01:22:56,198
What's that?

1857
01:22:56,319 --> 01:22:58,150
For me? Oh, my gosh.

1858
01:22:58,239 --> 01:23:00,389
A surprise.
Thank you so much.

1859
01:23:00,479 --> 01:23:01,798
Thank you.

1860
01:23:05,679 --> 01:23:07,431
Happy Mother's Day.

1861
01:23:24,720 --> 01:23:26,119
We love you.

1862
01:23:52,401 --> 01:23:55,313
Russell, it's Jesse.

1863
01:23:55,401 --> 01:23:57,517
I'm leaving to go live
with my parents for a while

1864
01:23:57,641 --> 01:23:59,950
and I'm taking Tanner
with me. Bye.

1865
01:24:00,041 --> 01:24:03,238
Wait, wait, wait,
hold on, hold on!

1866
01:24:03,361 --> 01:24:08,719
Hey, hold on, wait,
hold on, I'm coming!

1867
01:24:09,201 --> 01:24:12,637
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
stop, stop, stop, stop,

1868
01:24:12,721 --> 01:24:16,077
stop, wait, hold on, hold on,
wait a minute, let me in,

1869
01:24:16,961 --> 01:24:19,635
stop, stop, stop,
hold on, hold on!

1870
01:24:19,802 --> 01:24:21,315
Wait a minute!

1871
01:24:22,242 --> 01:24:23,242
Where's Tanner?

1872
01:24:23,322 --> 01:24:24,602
Relax, he's with
Max and Charlie.

1873
01:24:24,642 --> 01:24:25,711
Nice robe.

1874
01:24:26,442 --> 01:24:28,398
We just said it
to get you in here.

1875
01:24:29,082 --> 01:24:30,481
Oh, great, another lie.

1876
01:24:30,562 --> 01:24:32,951
Yeah, is this your
new thing now? Bye.

1877
01:24:33,082 --> 01:24:35,550
Russell, we would
like to thank you for coming.

1878
01:24:35,922 --> 01:24:38,277
Mom? You're in on this?

1879
01:24:38,402 --> 01:24:41,121
Maybe if you would call me more often,
you would know me better.

1880
01:24:41,242 --> 01:24:44,393
Russell, I know I make jokes about Jesse,
but I love her.

1881
01:24:44,522 --> 01:24:48,276
So, Flo and I thought you two
should kiss and make up.

1882
01:24:50,282 --> 01:24:53,001
No, no, because
she's a liar.

1883
01:24:53,082 --> 01:24:55,881
She's a lying,
lying liar, okay?

1884
01:24:55,963 --> 01:24:58,272
And besides,
scaring me to get me in here

1885
01:24:58,363 --> 01:25:00,877
is not a good way to start
a conversation, okay?

1886
01:25:00,963 --> 01:25:02,396
Have fun. I'm leaving.

1887
01:25:02,483 --> 01:25:04,121
Not unless you're
going to jump.

1888
01:25:05,323 --> 01:25:07,154
Dad, what are you doing?
Slow down!

1889
01:25:07,283 --> 01:25:08,432
Oh, come on.

1890
01:25:09,123 --> 01:25:10,351
Where are we going?

1891
01:25:10,443 --> 01:25:12,139
All right,
this is crazy, all right?

1892
01:25:12,163 --> 01:25:13,579
She lied about everything.
You know what?

1893
01:25:13,603 --> 01:25:16,276
If I was your parents,
I would have been home by now.

1894
01:25:16,363 --> 01:25:20,151
If this sucker hadn't had all those
repairs, we would have been.

1895
01:25:20,443 --> 01:25:21,723
Actually,
that would be my fault.

1896
01:25:21,803 --> 01:25:22,803
How?

1897
01:25:22,883 --> 01:25:24,683
I kind of told Charlie
to mess with the engine

1898
01:25:24,723 --> 01:25:26,361
so Grandma and Grandpa
couldn't get home.

1899
01:25:26,443 --> 01:25:28,832
The flat tire was
just bad luck, or good.

1900
01:25:28,963 --> 01:25:30,363
You did that for us?

1901
01:25:30,724 --> 01:25:31,759
Forget that.

1902
01:25:31,844 --> 01:25:34,438
I'm impressed that he knew
so much about engines.

1903
01:25:34,524 --> 01:25:36,162
Yeah, he really does.

1904
01:25:37,644 --> 01:25:39,600
Honey, please forgive me.

1905
01:25:39,684 --> 01:25:42,403
I promise, I will never,
ever lie to you, ever again.

1906
01:25:42,484 --> 01:25:44,156
I just... I cross my heart.

1907
01:25:45,644 --> 01:25:47,362
You promise?
Promise.

1908
01:25:48,484 --> 01:25:49,963
Okay, I forgive you.
You do?

1909
01:25:50,044 --> 01:25:52,239
No, I'm lying.
You see how that feels?

1910
01:25:54,844 --> 01:25:58,075
Uh, sorry to interrupt your moment,
but this ain't good.

1911
01:25:58,164 --> 01:25:59,233
What?

1912
01:25:59,324 --> 01:26:02,441
The brakes are out and we're
going pretty damn fast.

1913
01:26:02,524 --> 01:26:04,641
I swear, Charlie did not
mess with the brakes.

1914
01:26:04,725 --> 01:26:06,565
No, no, I was
supposed to get them fixed,

1915
01:26:06,605 --> 01:26:09,677
but I took the money and I
spent it at the dog track!

1916
01:26:12,565 --> 01:26:13,885
Look out
for the garbage.

1917
01:26:16,005 --> 01:26:18,439
Hey, what is happening?

1918
01:26:19,085 --> 01:26:20,564
Where did everybody go?

1919
01:26:21,005 --> 01:26:22,040
Jesse, stay down.

1920
01:26:22,205 --> 01:26:23,524
Stay under me!

1921
01:26:23,845 --> 01:26:25,483
Hey, that's Grandma's house.

1922
01:26:25,565 --> 01:26:27,317
So it is. Let's check it out.

1923
01:26:33,285 --> 01:26:36,004
They made a womb
float for Mother's Day?

1924
01:26:36,085 --> 01:26:38,804
I can't wait to see
what they do for Father's Day.

1925
01:26:43,926 --> 01:26:46,486
Hello, Marvin, you got
a two-vehicle pursuit.

1926
01:26:46,606 --> 01:26:51,361
One is an RV from Texas and the
other one is big and pink.

1927
01:26:54,886 --> 01:26:56,205
Slow down!

1928
01:26:57,886 --> 01:27:00,275
Oh, my gosh.
Okay, we're in pursuit.

1929
01:27:00,606 --> 01:27:01,606
Whoa!

1930
01:27:08,286 --> 01:27:11,517
Earl, Jesse, Gabi,
I love you! Russell?

1931
01:27:11,606 --> 01:27:12,606
Yeah.

1932
01:27:12,886 --> 01:27:14,319
Nice to meet you.

1933
01:27:14,406 --> 01:27:16,045
We're going to
hit real hard.

1934
01:27:16,127 --> 01:27:17,162
No!

1935
01:27:19,647 --> 01:27:20,647
Huh?

1936
01:27:21,487 --> 01:27:26,083
Well, uh, that wasn't
so hard, now, was it?

1937
01:27:27,087 --> 01:27:28,406
Everybody all right?

1938
01:27:28,487 --> 01:27:29,727
What
the hell happened?

1939
01:27:30,807 --> 01:27:33,116
Nothing. I lied.

1940
01:27:33,647 --> 01:27:35,000
The brakes were fixed.

1941
01:27:35,127 --> 01:27:39,245
The fear of death brings
everyone closer together.

1942
01:27:40,687 --> 01:27:43,645
Welcome, welcome to my family.

1943
01:27:44,167 --> 01:27:45,919
Everybody
out of the vehicle.

1944
01:27:46,927 --> 01:27:48,042
Let's go.

1945
01:27:49,167 --> 01:27:50,965
Okay, we're coming. Hi.

1946
01:27:51,128 --> 01:27:52,356
Out of the vehicle.

1947
01:27:53,328 --> 01:27:55,125
Get your hands up
where we can see them.

1948
01:27:55,208 --> 01:27:56,482
You guys okay?

1949
01:27:56,608 --> 01:27:58,405
Hello, officers,
how are you doing?

1950
01:27:58,488 --> 01:27:59,624
Mom,
just put your hands up.

1951
01:27:59,648 --> 01:28:02,367
Spread your legs.

1952
01:28:03,168 --> 01:28:04,203
Anybody else?

1953
01:28:05,728 --> 01:28:07,286
Hi, it's just me.

1954
01:28:09,808 --> 01:28:11,036
Get on the ground.

1955
01:28:11,128 --> 01:28:12,641
On the ground!

1956
01:28:12,728 --> 01:28:14,161
Get on the ground!

1957
01:28:14,688 --> 01:28:16,280
On the ground!

1958
01:28:17,288 --> 01:28:19,882
Sir, that is my husband!

1959
01:28:19,968 --> 01:28:22,198
Officer, I don't
really appreciate

1960
01:28:22,328 --> 01:28:24,478
how you're treating
my son-in-law.

1961
01:28:25,568 --> 01:28:27,639
Wait, it's okay,
you guys, this is my doctor.

1962
01:28:27,729 --> 01:28:29,321
He fixed my knee.

1963
01:28:29,689 --> 01:28:30,917
Hi, Dr. Kohli.

1964
01:28:31,329 --> 01:28:32,478
Hey, Danielle.

1965
01:28:33,169 --> 01:28:34,841
Finally, somebody
stands up.

1966
01:28:35,009 --> 01:28:37,239
Oh, boy, you okay, Russell?

1967
01:28:37,329 --> 01:28:38,557
Yeah, I'm all right.
All right.

1968
01:28:38,649 --> 01:28:41,163
Well, I never thought I'd have
to say this in the line of duty,

1969
01:28:41,249 --> 01:28:44,525
but who's got the
registration for the vagina?

1970
01:28:44,649 --> 01:28:47,322
We do. But we already
missed the parade.

1971
01:28:47,409 --> 01:28:48,922
There's a parade
of vaginas?

1972
01:28:49,009 --> 01:28:50,362
Yup, there sure was.

1973
01:28:51,489 --> 01:28:53,081
Well, that's okay.

1974
01:28:53,169 --> 01:28:55,524
Now we can have
a real family picnic together.

1975
01:28:55,849 --> 01:28:57,919
Love you, too, Mom.
Happy Mother's Day.

1976
01:28:58,209 --> 01:28:59,528
Did she just kiss me?

1977
01:28:59,609 --> 01:29:01,826
We missed the parade,
but we're gonna have a picnic!

1978
01:29:01,850 --> 01:29:03,568
I'm proud of you, Earl.

1979
01:29:04,170 --> 01:29:05,888
Oh, thank you, Fluffy.

1980
01:29:11,330 --> 01:29:13,286
Thanks for
taking us, Kimberly.

1981
01:29:13,370 --> 01:29:14,598
Oh, and for brunch, too.

1982
01:29:14,690 --> 01:29:16,328
I bet my dad's
going to kill you.

1983
01:29:16,410 --> 01:29:18,162
Please, I can handle him.

1984
01:29:18,250 --> 01:29:20,002
I am a pole dancer.

1985
01:29:20,090 --> 01:29:21,682
Bring it on!

1986
01:29:28,370 --> 01:29:33,205
Wow. I think your daddy used his
veteran's discount at ProFlowers.

1987
01:29:33,930 --> 01:29:35,124
Surprise!

1988
01:29:37,691 --> 01:29:39,841
Dad, what is all this?

1989
01:29:39,931 --> 01:29:42,525
Oh, this is everything they
had left at the flower shop.

1990
01:29:43,211 --> 01:29:45,247
Okay, but why is it here?

1991
01:29:45,411 --> 01:29:47,587
I thought it was about time we
started celebrating Mother's Day.

1992
01:29:47,611 --> 01:29:48,964
I better go
find my babies.

1993
01:29:49,931 --> 01:29:54,846
And for my first surprise, for the
youngest, Vicky, voilà.

1994
01:29:55,011 --> 01:29:56,160
Oh.
Whoa.

1995
01:29:56,611 --> 01:29:58,090
A karaoke machine!

1996
01:29:58,171 --> 01:29:59,650
That's right, yes.

1997
01:30:00,691 --> 01:30:02,602
Young lady,
that's for you.

1998
01:30:08,771 --> 01:30:11,923
But these are...
These are Mom's car keys.

1999
01:30:12,292 --> 01:30:14,487
Yeah, I sold the car anyway,

2000
01:30:14,572 --> 01:30:16,608
but figured you'd
want the keys.

2001
01:30:17,772 --> 01:30:19,444
Kidding, you get
the car, too.

2002
01:30:19,572 --> 01:30:21,802
Oh, my God, thank you.

2003
01:30:22,372 --> 01:30:23,851
You're very welcome.

2004
01:30:23,932 --> 01:30:25,001
Thank you.

2005
01:30:25,692 --> 01:30:28,081
Look at this place.

2006
01:30:33,452 --> 01:30:34,452
Mmm.

2007
01:30:34,692 --> 01:30:36,728
Dad, did you invite him?

2008
01:30:36,812 --> 01:30:37,847
No.

2009
01:30:37,932 --> 01:30:41,163
No, I hired him
to run the punch bowl.

2010
01:30:41,252 --> 01:30:43,208
Okay.
Yeah.

2011
01:30:43,292 --> 01:30:45,442
I'm going to go
get some punch.

2012
01:30:45,532 --> 01:30:46,567
All right.

2013
01:30:50,173 --> 01:30:52,084
Hey.
Hey.

2014
01:30:52,173 --> 01:30:53,789
Thanks for coming
on such short notice.

2015
01:30:53,813 --> 01:30:55,690
I'm so proud of you.
Thank you.

2016
01:30:55,773 --> 01:30:57,172
I am.
Thank you.

2017
01:30:57,493 --> 01:30:58,721
Hi.
Hey, neighbor.

2018
01:30:58,813 --> 01:31:00,292
Hey.
Hi, I'm Lexy.

2019
01:31:00,453 --> 01:31:01,568
Lexy.

2020
01:31:01,733 --> 01:31:04,611
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you as well.

2021
01:31:04,693 --> 01:31:06,093
Um, yeah, well,
please help yourself

2022
01:31:06,133 --> 01:31:08,693
to the punch and smell
the flowers. Go nuts.

2023
01:31:08,773 --> 01:31:10,968
That's the sexy mom
we were telling you about.

2024
01:31:11,053 --> 01:31:12,805
Oh, that makes sense,
okay, yeah.

2025
01:31:12,893 --> 01:31:16,010
Well, that might be a little too
much for me right now, you know?

2026
01:31:16,093 --> 01:31:17,242
Fair enough.
Mmm-hmm.

2027
01:31:17,333 --> 01:31:18,613
I'm going to
keep trying, though.

2028
01:31:18,653 --> 01:31:20,325
No, please do.
That's a great start.

2029
01:31:20,413 --> 01:31:21,413
Hey.

2030
01:31:22,614 --> 01:31:23,614
Wow!

2031
01:31:23,694 --> 01:31:24,843
Do you know
what it is?

2032
01:31:24,974 --> 01:31:26,009
No.

2033
01:31:26,094 --> 01:31:27,527
It's a karaoke machine.

2034
01:31:27,614 --> 01:31:29,366
That's cool.
What's that button do?

2035
01:31:29,454 --> 01:31:31,410
That's an echo,
so it makes it sound like...

2036
01:31:32,774 --> 01:31:35,129
My God, you people
on steroids?

2037
01:31:37,694 --> 01:31:39,093
Wait, hello, Tina?

2038
01:31:39,174 --> 01:31:40,870
It's me. I really need your help right now.
What?

2039
01:31:40,894 --> 01:31:42,910
I don't know what to do.
Wait, Tina, slow down. What's wrong?

2040
01:31:42,934 --> 01:31:44,526
What's wrong?
It's Mikey.

2041
01:31:44,654 --> 01:31:45,882
He can't breathe.

2042
01:31:45,974 --> 01:31:47,805
Okay, that's his asthma.

2043
01:31:47,894 --> 01:31:50,070
No, I know, Henry warned me
that it's bad this time of year

2044
01:31:50,094 --> 01:31:51,150
and there's a lot of ragweed.

2045
01:31:51,174 --> 01:31:52,971
Where's his inhaler?

2046
01:31:53,054 --> 01:31:55,409
It's here, but it's empty
and I can't find the backup.

2047
01:31:55,494 --> 01:31:56,494
Where's Henry?

2048
01:31:56,574 --> 01:31:58,406
He's at the store
and he's not answering.

2049
01:31:58,495 --> 01:32:00,804
All right, just take him
to the freezer.

2050
01:32:00,895 --> 01:32:01,930
He's not hungry.

2051
01:32:02,055 --> 01:32:03,055
I know he's not hungry.

2052
01:32:03,135 --> 01:32:05,231
It's just that breathing in the
cold air really helps him,

2053
01:32:05,255 --> 01:32:06,290
so just go, go, go, go.

2054
01:32:06,375 --> 01:32:08,031
Let's go the freezer, okay?
You're going to be okay.

2055
01:32:08,055 --> 01:32:11,047
You're going to be fine.
Yeah, just breathe this in.

2056
01:32:11,135 --> 01:32:12,807
Okay, all right.

2057
01:32:12,895 --> 01:32:14,772
Oh, my gosh,
Sandy, I am so scared.

2058
01:32:14,855 --> 01:32:15,855
I know, I know.

2059
01:32:15,935 --> 01:32:18,165
Listen, I keep a spare inhaler
in his backpack.

2060
01:32:18,735 --> 01:32:22,614
Okay, yep. I got it.
I'll put you on speaker.

2061
01:32:23,935 --> 01:32:25,004
Okay, where?

2062
01:32:25,095 --> 01:32:26,813
Okay. There are four pockets.

2063
01:32:26,895 --> 01:32:28,613
It's in the one
that has the rat on it.

2064
01:32:28,895 --> 01:32:30,255
There's no zipper
on the rat.

2065
01:32:30,655 --> 01:32:31,775
It's on the side of the rat!

2066
01:32:31,895 --> 01:32:33,727
It's on the side
of the rat, sorry.

2067
01:32:36,696 --> 01:32:38,652
It's all right, I got you.

2068
01:32:38,736 --> 01:32:40,328
I got you.
Come here, buddy.

2069
01:32:40,416 --> 01:32:41,912
Here you go.
Come on, come on. I got you.

2070
01:32:41,936 --> 01:32:43,255
I want Mommy.

2071
01:32:43,336 --> 01:32:45,406
Okay, Mommy's coming, honey.
You're okay.

2072
01:32:45,536 --> 01:32:48,096
Daddy's going to make
you feel all better, you know that.

2073
01:32:48,616 --> 01:32:51,335
Okay, give him three puffs
and then give him three more

2074
01:32:51,416 --> 01:32:53,486
in 30 minutes if he needs it, okay?

2075
01:32:55,376 --> 01:32:57,512
I don't like his color.
I'm going to take him to the ER.

2076
01:32:57,536 --> 01:32:59,736
All right, then go.
Just go, go and I'll meet you there.

2077
01:33:00,696 --> 01:33:01,811
Get his stuff.

2078
01:33:06,456 --> 01:33:08,447
Hey, DJ, hit it.

2079
01:33:09,777 --> 01:33:11,096
Here we go.

2080
01:33:11,457 --> 01:33:12,731
All right!
Stop whatcha doin'

2081
01:33:12,817 --> 01:33:13,886
'Cause I'm
about to ruin

2082
01:33:13,977 --> 01:33:15,854
The image and the
style that ya used to

2083
01:33:15,937 --> 01:33:17,290
I look funny, right?

2084
01:33:17,377 --> 01:33:18,890
But, yo, I'm makin '
money, see?

2085
01:33:18,977 --> 01:33:20,649
So, yo world I hope
you're ready for me

2086
01:33:20,737 --> 01:33:23,331
My name is Humpty
Pronounced with a "umpty"

2087
01:33:23,417 --> 01:33:26,534
Yo, moms Oh, how I
like to love thee

2088
01:33:26,617 --> 01:33:28,369
And all the fathers
in the Top 10

2089
01:33:28,457 --> 01:33:30,049
Please allow me
to bump thee

2090
01:33:30,137 --> 01:33:32,651
I'm steppin ' tall, y'all
And just like Humpty Dumpty

2091
01:33:32,737 --> 01:33:35,046
You're gonna fall
when the stereos pump me

2092
01:33:35,137 --> 01:33:37,048
I'm still rockin '
these pink pants

2093
01:33:37,137 --> 01:33:38,729
And I even got
my own dance

2094
01:33:38,817 --> 01:33:41,729
The Humpty Dance is your
chance to do the hump

2095
01:33:41,817 --> 01:33:43,216
That's right, folks,
help me out.

2096
01:33:43,777 --> 01:33:45,894
- Do me, baby!
- Do the Humpty hump

2097
01:33:45,978 --> 01:33:48,970
Girls, get up here.
Dance with your old man. Come on.

2098
01:33:49,818 --> 01:33:50,887
Do the Humpty hump

2099
01:33:50,978 --> 01:33:54,129
Watch me do the Humpty hump
Yeah, yeah. Uh!

2100
01:33:54,218 --> 01:33:55,731
Do the Humpty hump

2101
01:33:56,458 --> 01:33:57,458
Watch me...

2102
01:33:58,498 --> 01:34:00,090
Where'd he go?

2103
01:34:00,378 --> 01:34:01,378
Dad!

2104
01:34:01,498 --> 01:34:02,772
Are you okay, Dad?

2105
01:34:02,858 --> 01:34:04,058
Yeah,
I'm okay, Vicky.

2106
01:34:04,138 --> 01:34:05,696
Rachel, how does my leg look?

2107
01:34:05,778 --> 01:34:06,813
Great, Dad.

2108
01:34:06,898 --> 01:34:07,933
What about my right leg?

2109
01:34:08,058 --> 01:34:09,377
Someone call 911.

2110
01:34:09,458 --> 01:34:11,369
See what happens when
you let white boys rap?

2111
01:34:12,498 --> 01:34:13,692
There you go, folks.

2112
01:34:13,818 --> 01:34:14,933
Happy Mother's Day.

2113
01:34:17,818 --> 01:34:19,889
Don't move, Dad.
I'm coming down.

2114
01:34:20,419 --> 01:34:23,491
Rach, it might be time to
practice driving to the hospital.

2115
01:34:29,339 --> 01:34:30,374
Got it.

2116
01:34:32,899 --> 01:34:34,571
I hope it's
okay that I'm here.

2117
01:34:35,899 --> 01:34:38,459
I knew it was you
the moment I saw you.

2118
01:34:43,259 --> 01:34:45,853
We were 16 and in love.

2119
01:34:47,019 --> 01:34:48,293
What, puppy love?

2120
01:34:48,379 --> 01:34:51,576
No, true love, epic,

2121
01:34:51,659 --> 01:34:55,892
"plan your whole life
around it" kind of love,

2122
01:34:55,980 --> 01:34:57,538
and then there was you.

2123
01:34:58,740 --> 01:35:01,573
His family moved to another city
the day we gave them the news

2124
01:35:01,660 --> 01:35:05,573
and my parents pulled me
out of school for a year.

2125
01:35:05,700 --> 01:35:08,612
My mother never really
looked at me the same again.

2126
01:35:10,740 --> 01:35:12,890
Forever disappointed,
I think.

2127
01:35:17,180 --> 01:35:18,579
It was never
even a consideration

2128
01:35:18,660 --> 01:35:20,036
if I would get to
keep you, actually.

2129
01:35:20,060 --> 01:35:23,735
She said she found a nice
family that lived in Hawaii.

2130
01:35:24,940 --> 01:35:27,818
They weren't nice.
They were wonderful.

2131
01:35:27,900 --> 01:35:29,572
I know they've passed.
I'm sorry.

2132
01:35:31,261 --> 01:35:34,253
My parents are gone, too.

2133
01:35:34,341 --> 01:35:37,731
It's just you and me.

2134
01:35:41,461 --> 01:35:44,737
Part of the deal
was that they would

2135
01:35:44,821 --> 01:35:48,609
send me a picture
of you every year

2136
01:35:48,701 --> 01:35:55,459
so that I could
just see that you were okay.

2137
01:36:00,701 --> 01:36:02,498
Wow. What?

2138
01:36:17,582 --> 01:36:19,061
I don't understand.

2139
01:36:20,622 --> 01:36:21,975
Why didn't you
ever contact me?

2140
01:36:26,822 --> 01:36:28,460
That was the other
part of the deal.

2141
01:36:32,982 --> 01:36:37,976
So, I lost my
true love and you,

2142
01:36:38,062 --> 01:36:41,453
and I didn't want
to replace that,

2143
01:36:41,543 --> 01:36:47,459
so I went for a
career and that is what I have.

2144
01:36:51,863 --> 01:36:53,012
What is that?

2145
01:36:53,903 --> 01:36:55,655
That's your granddaughter.

2146
01:36:58,223 --> 01:36:59,702
That's my
boyfriend, Zack.

2147
01:37:01,743 --> 01:37:05,861
Katie, I want you to
meet someone special.

2148
01:37:05,943 --> 01:37:07,535
This is Katie.

2149
01:37:07,623 --> 01:37:11,821
Katie, do you
want to meet someone?

2150
01:37:13,183 --> 01:37:14,252
Yes.

2151
01:37:19,624 --> 01:37:22,184
That's your grandma.

2152
01:37:23,024 --> 01:37:24,093
Hello.

2153
01:37:39,584 --> 01:37:41,222
Hey, how is he?
He's good.

2154
01:37:41,344 --> 01:37:43,064
He's back to his normal self.
Oh, thank God.

2155
01:37:43,104 --> 01:37:45,120
They're supposed to be bringing him out.
I'm going to go check.

2156
01:37:45,144 --> 01:37:47,021
Thank God. Oh, good.

2157
01:37:47,224 --> 01:37:48,293
Hi.

2158
01:37:48,864 --> 01:37:50,502
Hi. You okay?
Hi.

2159
01:37:50,584 --> 01:37:51,904
Yes.

2160
01:37:51,985 --> 01:37:54,943
Sandy, I am so sorry.
Yeah.

2161
01:37:55,025 --> 01:37:56,401
I don't know what
happened to his inhaler.

2162
01:37:56,425 --> 01:37:57,938
That's why we have
a backup.

2163
01:37:58,145 --> 01:37:59,976
Your middle name
is now backup.

2164
01:38:00,065 --> 01:38:02,659
Okay. I just...
I really panicked.

2165
01:38:02,745 --> 01:38:03,745
I know.

2166
01:38:03,825 --> 01:38:05,144
How do you
stay so calm?

2167
01:38:05,225 --> 01:38:09,696
Well, Tina, it just
takes time.

2168
01:38:09,785 --> 01:38:11,935
It's time.
I mean, Peter's...

2169
01:38:12,025 --> 01:38:13,504
Thirteen.
How old?

2170
01:38:13,585 --> 01:38:14,585
How old are you?
Thirteen.

2171
01:38:14,665 --> 01:38:17,099
Thirteen. It takes
13 years, you know?

2172
01:38:17,185 --> 01:38:18,903
So, just give
yourself a break.

2173
01:38:19,025 --> 01:38:21,065
Otherwise, you're going
to really wear yourself down

2174
01:38:21,145 --> 01:38:22,817
and it's going to
piss me off.

2175
01:38:22,985 --> 01:38:24,703
Make that one of your rules.
That's good.

2176
01:38:25,265 --> 01:38:27,461
Whose child is this?

2177
01:38:27,546 --> 01:38:28,979
Mommy!

2178
01:38:29,066 --> 01:38:31,739
Oh, baby, hi.

2179
01:38:31,826 --> 01:38:34,420
Mommy, can I have
some candy, please? Oh...

2180
01:38:34,546 --> 01:38:36,696
Sly move.

2181
01:38:36,786 --> 01:38:38,663
I told you
you'd be okay.

2182
01:38:38,746 --> 01:38:42,819
All right, I'm going to get you some
candy and maybe one for myself.

2183
01:38:42,906 --> 01:38:44,322
Hold this, please.

2184
01:38:48,386 --> 01:38:51,184
Now, since it's Mother's Day
and I am a mother,

2185
01:38:51,426 --> 01:38:55,180
I'd like to introduce a very special guest,
my daughter, Kristin.

2186
01:38:57,746 --> 01:39:01,102
She has something very special
she would like to say.

2187
01:39:09,107 --> 01:39:13,464
Father of my child,
light of my life,

2188
01:39:16,147 --> 01:39:18,945
Zack, will you marry me?

2189
01:39:19,027 --> 01:39:21,700
And because I made
you wait so long,

2190
01:39:21,787 --> 01:39:24,984
I'd like to do it today,
while my mother's still here.

2191
01:39:28,947 --> 01:39:32,656
Well, will you?

2192
01:39:33,827 --> 01:39:34,827
Wha...

2193
01:39:35,307 --> 01:39:36,307
Uh...

2194
01:39:36,387 --> 01:39:37,867
The show's pre-taped.

2195
01:39:42,548 --> 01:39:43,901
Will you?

2196
01:39:44,868 --> 01:39:46,938
Well, you know,

2197
01:39:47,028 --> 01:39:49,337
I'm going to have
to think it over.

2198
01:39:49,908 --> 01:39:50,908
Hmm.

2199
01:39:51,948 --> 01:39:53,825
Okay, I did.

2200
01:39:53,908 --> 01:39:55,580
Yes.

2201
01:39:55,708 --> 01:39:57,221
I love you.
I love you, too.

2202
01:40:02,108 --> 01:40:03,108
Oh...

2203
01:40:03,708 --> 01:40:05,460
Oh, I think it's time.

2204
01:40:06,148 --> 01:40:07,547
Gotta go.
Oh...

2205
01:40:07,708 --> 01:40:09,903
Where's my purse?
Where are the keys?

2206
01:40:09,988 --> 01:40:11,387
Good luck, you guys.

2207
01:40:11,468 --> 01:40:14,347
Time for a wedding.
Where's Shorty? Shorty?

2208
01:40:14,429 --> 01:40:15,657
Me.

2209
01:40:15,749 --> 01:40:17,387
You're Shorty?
Yeah.

2210
01:40:17,469 --> 01:40:18,538
Should have guessed.

2211
01:40:18,629 --> 01:40:20,665
Okay, listen,
Miranda wants to throw

2212
01:40:20,749 --> 01:40:23,217
a big expensive wedding
at the best hotel,

2213
01:40:23,309 --> 01:40:25,027
but Kristin wants
to get married here

2214
01:40:25,109 --> 01:40:26,405
because that's
where they first met.

2215
01:40:26,429 --> 01:40:28,989
Great, and we'll do our best
to make it expensive.

2216
01:40:29,069 --> 01:40:30,104
Well, thank you for that.

2217
01:40:30,229 --> 01:40:31,525
Who's going to
perform the ceremony?

2218
01:40:31,549 --> 01:40:32,584
I'm officiating.

2219
01:40:32,709 --> 01:40:33,983
You got a license?

2220
01:40:34,069 --> 01:40:36,299
Of course, from
the online church of Idaho.

2221
01:40:36,389 --> 01:40:37,708
Can we do this now?

2222
01:40:39,389 --> 01:40:41,220
Wow. We're gonna make a buck.

2223
01:40:41,509 --> 01:40:44,387
Paging
Dr. Freeman and Dr. Sheehan.

2224
01:40:44,469 --> 01:40:47,381
Please report to
the nurse's station.

2225
01:40:57,750 --> 01:40:59,069
Come on.

2226
01:41:00,790 --> 01:41:02,587
Are you kidding me?

2227
01:41:02,910 --> 01:41:04,946
This is what's going
to happen today?

2228
01:41:07,630 --> 01:41:09,382
All right, okay.

2229
01:41:13,670 --> 01:41:16,138
God!
Oh, no, no, no, no.

2230
01:41:18,230 --> 01:41:19,230
Oh, God.

2231
01:41:27,111 --> 01:41:28,111
Whoa.

2232
01:41:29,311 --> 01:41:31,167
You know what?
Guys, let's go this way.

2233
01:41:31,191 --> 01:41:33,271
Let's not get involved.
Come on, here we go.

2234
01:41:33,311 --> 01:41:34,380
Oh...

2235
01:41:34,471 --> 01:41:36,109
Hey, tampon man.

2236
01:41:37,431 --> 01:41:38,705
Right?
Remember at the...

2237
01:41:38,791 --> 01:41:40,144
Hey.
Hi.

2238
01:41:40,431 --> 01:41:41,830
Hi there.
Um...

2239
01:41:41,991 --> 01:41:43,549
We were...
Yes.

2240
01:41:43,631 --> 01:41:44,984
Yeah, of course, hi.

2241
01:41:45,191 --> 01:41:46,749
It's actually Bradley.

2242
01:41:46,951 --> 01:41:48,145
Oh, Bradley.
Yeah.

2243
01:41:48,271 --> 01:41:50,447
These are my daughters.
This is Rachel, and this is Vicky.

2244
01:41:50,471 --> 01:41:51,471
Hi.
Hi.

2245
01:41:51,631 --> 01:41:52,746
This is...
Sandy.

2246
01:41:53,031 --> 01:41:55,022
With two sons.
Yes, that's right.

2247
01:41:55,111 --> 01:41:57,067
Um...

2248
01:41:57,191 --> 01:41:58,624
You all right?
You know what? No.

2249
01:41:58,831 --> 01:42:01,062
I'm kind of in
a little bit of a situation.

2250
01:42:01,232 --> 01:42:02,460
Okay. I got you.
It's so silly.

2251
01:42:02,672 --> 01:42:03,991
Girls, do me a favor,

2252
01:42:04,112 --> 01:42:05,208
why don't you run
and go find and see

2253
01:42:05,232 --> 01:42:06,460
if someone has
a key for this?

2254
01:42:06,672 --> 01:42:08,742
There's, like, a security
guard up front I'm sure.

2255
01:42:10,152 --> 01:42:12,302
It probably looks
kind of suspicious.

2256
01:42:12,872 --> 01:42:15,545
Are you wondering
how I got into

2257
01:42:15,632 --> 01:42:17,031
this predicament?
Mmm.

2258
01:42:17,152 --> 01:42:18,152
No, I'm not really.

2259
01:42:18,672 --> 01:42:20,248
You see what happens every time...
Uh-huh.

2260
01:42:20,272 --> 01:42:21,968
...I try to get up?
It's caught on something.

2261
01:42:21,992 --> 01:42:23,328
It's not coming down
any further, all right,

2262
01:42:23,352 --> 01:42:24,990
well, let me see
what I can do there.

2263
01:42:25,152 --> 01:42:26,728
Pull your wrist over this way.
Ow! Careful.

2264
01:42:26,752 --> 01:42:27,752
What?

2265
01:42:27,832 --> 01:42:30,027
It's a Miranda Collins
bracelet, just, you know. Oh...

2266
01:42:32,472 --> 01:42:34,303
What did you do
to your leg?

2267
01:42:36,113 --> 01:42:39,992
Another hip-hop-related
casualty is all.

2268
01:42:40,233 --> 01:42:41,507
Hip hop?
Yeah. What about you?

2269
01:42:41,753 --> 01:42:42,833
Why are you here?
Are you in

2270
01:42:42,873 --> 01:42:44,272
the psychiatric wing?

2271
01:42:44,833 --> 01:42:48,064
No. My son had
an asthma attack.

2272
01:42:48,513 --> 01:42:50,822
Oh, I'm sorry about that.
Is he okay?

2273
01:42:50,993 --> 01:42:54,508
Yeah, he's all back to normal,
so I'm getting him this candy.

2274
01:42:54,593 --> 01:42:55,708
I got you, we'll get it.

2275
01:42:55,953 --> 01:42:57,009
Oh, bend it, bend it.

2276
01:42:57,033 --> 01:42:58,209
Here, I'm going to
pull it down. There.

2277
01:42:58,233 --> 01:42:59,302
Ow...

2278
01:42:59,393 --> 01:43:00,792
Whoa. Awesome.
Ta-da.

2279
01:43:01,033 --> 01:43:02,148
Wait.
You're free.

2280
01:43:02,273 --> 01:43:03,308
Get that thing
down here.

2281
01:43:03,393 --> 01:43:05,031
This thing?
Get that Skittle.

2282
01:43:05,113 --> 01:43:06,633
That's why I did it
in the first place.

2283
01:43:06,713 --> 01:43:08,226
Don't. This is
what's going to happen.

2284
01:43:11,234 --> 01:43:12,986
Hey, all right.
Yeah.

2285
01:43:13,154 --> 01:43:14,553
That's amazing.
Nicely done.

2286
01:43:14,714 --> 01:43:15,714
Get it.

2287
01:43:16,074 --> 01:43:18,144
Wait. Oh, you know what,
while we're in here...

2288
01:43:19,594 --> 01:43:21,107
Okay, but if anybody
catches us,

2289
01:43:21,234 --> 01:43:23,034
we'll say you're stealing
candy for sick kids.

2290
01:43:23,074 --> 01:43:24,632
Thank you so much.
Yeah.

2291
01:43:24,994 --> 01:43:26,268
I owe you one.

2292
01:43:26,394 --> 01:43:27,747
No, random act of kindness.

2293
01:43:27,954 --> 01:43:28,994
Well, thank you.

2294
01:43:29,074 --> 01:43:30,553
Do you need a ride?

2295
01:43:30,754 --> 01:43:32,153
No, we have a car.

2296
01:43:32,274 --> 01:43:34,151
Yeah. Of course, of course.
Yeah.

2297
01:43:34,234 --> 01:43:35,508
And I...

2298
01:43:35,594 --> 01:43:37,152
What am I thinking?
I've got my kids,

2299
01:43:37,274 --> 01:43:39,424
my ex-husband, his new wife.
Oh...

2300
01:43:39,674 --> 01:43:40,902
It's a carful.
Wow.

2301
01:43:40,994 --> 01:43:43,064
Yeah, I'm divorced, too.

2302
01:43:45,074 --> 01:43:46,075
Oh, um...

2303
01:43:46,395 --> 01:43:50,911
Actually, my wife
passed away, so...

2304
01:43:51,275 --> 01:43:52,275
Oh...

2305
01:43:52,875 --> 01:43:55,230
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.

2306
01:43:56,435 --> 01:43:58,505
Oh, that must make today so hard.
It's okay.

2307
01:43:58,755 --> 01:44:00,711
It's starting to be okay.

2308
01:44:02,235 --> 01:44:03,235
Thank you.

2309
01:44:03,435 --> 01:44:04,971
Dad, we looked everywhere.
We couldn't...

2310
01:44:04,995 --> 01:44:06,275
No, no, no.
We're good, actually.

2311
01:44:06,435 --> 01:44:07,788
- She's free.
- Free.

2312
01:44:08,035 --> 01:44:09,753
Emancipated.
Yeah. We're good. Yup.

2313
01:44:11,435 --> 01:44:13,107
Yeah. Um...
So...

2314
01:44:13,715 --> 01:44:16,752
Well, hey, I will see
you around, I guess.

2315
01:44:17,035 --> 01:44:18,263
That would be nice.

2316
01:44:18,475 --> 01:44:20,035
Wait, my dad
owns a fitness gym.

2317
01:44:20,235 --> 01:44:22,076
Give her your card.
You should totally stop by,

2318
01:44:22,156 --> 01:44:24,989
you know, try a yoga class
or pole dancing even. Mmm.

2319
01:44:25,316 --> 01:44:26,954
It helps you get in
touch with your body.

2320
01:44:27,436 --> 01:44:28,949
Mmm-hmm.
I've heard.

2321
01:44:29,076 --> 01:44:31,146
This is my gym.

2322
01:44:31,436 --> 01:44:32,551
It is?

2323
01:44:32,716 --> 01:44:34,115
I go to this gym.

2324
01:44:34,236 --> 01:44:35,236
What?

2325
01:44:35,316 --> 01:44:37,113
I just signed up,
like, a couple weeks ago.

2326
01:44:37,316 --> 01:44:38,635
How have I not
seen you?

2327
01:44:38,756 --> 01:44:39,825
I've never seen you there.

2328
01:44:39,956 --> 01:44:41,492
I know, how have I
never seen you there?

2329
01:44:41,516 --> 01:44:43,116
That's weird.
That's so weird.

2330
01:44:43,476 --> 01:44:47,628
All right, well, great,
so maybe I'll see you there sometime.

2331
01:44:48,076 --> 01:44:49,794
Thanks.
Yeah, thank you.

2332
01:44:50,316 --> 01:44:52,307
- Go here.
- Like that? No, this?

2333
01:44:52,476 --> 01:44:53,476
Go up.

2334
01:44:54,316 --> 01:44:56,228
Oh, no, that's terrible.
I love it.

2335
01:44:57,997 --> 01:44:59,173
All right.
Let's eat, guys.

2336
01:44:59,197 --> 01:45:00,232
Let's eat, Mom.

2337
01:45:00,597 --> 01:45:02,155
Mom!
Whoa!

2338
01:45:03,117 --> 01:45:04,613
Mom, you didn't tell
me you were coming.

2339
01:45:04,637 --> 01:45:05,990
Surprise.
Oh.

2340
01:45:06,277 --> 01:45:07,835
I didn't know
you were coming.

2341
01:45:07,917 --> 01:45:09,908
Beta, I need money to
tip the Ubber driver.

2342
01:45:10,277 --> 01:45:11,277
Okay, it's Uber.

2343
01:45:12,037 --> 01:45:13,152
I came to see you.

2344
01:45:13,237 --> 01:45:15,432
How did you know
we were even here?

2345
01:45:15,517 --> 01:45:16,632
I'm a mother.
Mmm...

2346
01:45:16,717 --> 01:45:19,436
Flo, it's so good to see you.
Oh, my goodness.

2347
01:45:19,517 --> 01:45:20,711
We did it.

2348
01:45:23,477 --> 01:45:24,477
Okay.

2349
01:45:26,117 --> 01:45:27,311
Oh. Oh!

2350
01:45:27,397 --> 01:45:29,115
Wow! You look
really nice.

2351
01:45:29,397 --> 01:45:31,069
Are you ready?

2352
01:45:31,157 --> 01:45:32,830
I am ready.

2353
01:45:34,038 --> 01:45:37,997
Oh, but, um, I think
I'll need someone to hold Katie.

2354
01:45:41,878 --> 01:45:43,311
It would be my honor.

2355
01:45:46,198 --> 01:45:47,870
Okay, you ready?

2356
01:45:47,958 --> 01:45:49,027
Come to Grandma.

2357
01:45:49,398 --> 01:45:51,468
Oh.
Ooh, sticky.

2358
01:45:51,558 --> 01:45:52,894
They're always sticky.
Ugh.

2359
01:45:52,918 --> 01:45:54,271
I mean...

2360
01:45:54,638 --> 01:45:55,991
Okay.

2361
01:45:56,158 --> 01:45:57,716
All right,
there we go.

2362
01:46:00,158 --> 01:46:01,158
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

2363
01:46:01,238 --> 01:46:02,671
A little higher.
Don't drop her.

2364
01:46:02,758 --> 01:46:04,350
Little bit higher.
Yup, perfect. Got it.

2365
01:46:04,438 --> 01:46:06,474
- Got it.
- Okay.

2366
01:46:06,559 --> 01:46:08,072
Should we start
without you?

2367
01:46:08,239 --> 01:46:10,799
Oh, no, we're good to go.
Thanks, Dominic.

2368
01:46:10,919 --> 01:46:12,750
Okay.

2369
01:46:15,319 --> 01:46:17,355
All right, let's go.

2370
01:46:19,999 --> 01:46:22,069
Ma, how long
are you staying?

2371
01:46:22,639 --> 01:46:23,913
We'll see.

2372
01:46:23,999 --> 01:46:26,115
Earl and I may
stay awhile, too.

2373
01:46:26,199 --> 01:46:27,518
They have a big house.

2374
01:46:28,679 --> 01:46:30,795
Sorry that took so long.
Here, honey.

2375
01:46:30,879 --> 01:46:34,315
Just let me finish these release
papers and you'll be on your way.

2376
01:46:34,759 --> 01:46:36,511
Thanks, you've
been very helpful.

2377
01:46:40,199 --> 01:46:42,714
Well, that was one of our
more eventful Mother's Days.

2378
01:46:42,800 --> 01:46:46,475
I mean, to be honest,
I really prefer the really boring, sweet,

2379
01:46:46,560 --> 01:46:49,120
burnt pancakes in bed,
you know what I mean?

2380
01:46:49,880 --> 01:46:51,199
I'm sorry about yesterday.

2381
01:46:54,200 --> 01:46:55,758
That party was
really stupid.

2382
01:46:56,000 --> 01:46:57,240
I can't believe
you had a llama.

2383
01:46:57,280 --> 01:46:58,440
I can't believe
I had a llama.

2384
01:46:58,480 --> 01:46:59,629
And an alpaca.

2385
01:46:59,840 --> 01:47:03,628
Hey, kids, what do you say
we go to IHOP for dinner?

2386
01:47:03,800 --> 01:47:05,028
Yeah!
Breakfast for dinner.

2387
01:47:05,200 --> 01:47:06,269
Yeah.

2388
01:47:06,400 --> 01:47:08,256
Your mom and I just have to
wait for this paperwork.

2389
01:47:08,280 --> 01:47:09,759
We'll be a few minutes.

2390
01:47:10,000 --> 01:47:11,991
Yeah, we'll just
wait in the car.

2391
01:47:12,080 --> 01:47:13,798
Okay, come on, boys.
Come on.

2392
01:47:18,401 --> 01:47:19,675
Hey, Sandy.

2393
01:47:19,761 --> 01:47:21,831
Hey, Sandy
with two sons!

2394
01:47:34,641 --> 01:47:38,953
So, who's
Captain Pink Pants?

2395
01:47:39,521 --> 01:47:41,716
Oh!

2396
01:47:42,041 --> 01:47:43,394
Uh, first of all,
they're salmon.

2397
01:47:43,521 --> 01:47:45,637
Oh, is that what those were?
And they're cute.

2398
01:47:46,641 --> 01:47:47,960
Anyone I should
know about?

2399
01:47:48,081 --> 01:47:51,039
Oh, trust me, I'll shock
you when it's permanent.

2400
01:47:51,201 --> 01:47:54,672
Yeah, and does he know how
you hate beards? Oh...

2401
01:47:55,002 --> 01:47:58,039
You know what, I think it's
actually quite sexy on him.

2402
01:47:58,162 --> 01:47:59,231
Oh...

2403
01:48:00,042 --> 01:48:01,270
And we're back
to normal.

2404
01:48:01,362 --> 01:48:02,511
Yeah.

2405
01:48:13,882 --> 01:48:14,951
Uh-oh.
- Whoo!

2406
01:48:19,402 --> 01:48:21,120
This is just
how I pictured it.

2407
01:48:38,883 --> 01:48:40,760
Can we vow this up, please?

2408
01:48:40,843 --> 01:48:42,834
We got people
waiting for tables.

2409
01:48:43,123 --> 01:48:44,123
Oh...

2410
01:48:45,683 --> 01:48:46,683
Oh.

2411
01:48:47,523 --> 01:48:48,523
All right.

2412
01:48:50,083 --> 01:48:53,120
We are gathered here
to unite these two souls.

2413
01:48:53,363 --> 01:48:55,035
Who is giving
this young lady away?

2414
01:48:55,163 --> 01:48:58,758
I do, but I'm going to hold
onto this one a little longer.

2415
01:49:00,163 --> 01:49:01,721
Zack, do you take...
I do.

2416
01:49:02,003 --> 01:49:04,154
Before she
changes her mind.

2417
01:49:04,844 --> 01:49:06,163
And do you, Kristin?

2418
01:49:07,044 --> 01:49:10,116
I do, and I won't
be changing my mind.

2419
01:49:10,324 --> 01:49:13,361
I now pronounce
you husband and wife.

2420
01:49:15,444 --> 01:49:17,002
If you don't kiss her,
I will.

2421
01:49:25,124 --> 01:49:26,523
I'm very calm right now.

2422
01:49:26,604 --> 01:49:28,003
I see that.
I'm very happy.

2423
01:49:28,124 --> 01:49:29,964
That's very nice.
Let's take a picture of that.

2424
01:49:30,004 --> 01:49:31,835
Hold it high so we
both look skinny.

2425
01:49:41,325 --> 01:49:42,883
It's nothing.
I'm fine.

2426
01:49:42,965 --> 01:49:44,525
I know, it's fine.
Don't worry about it.

2427
01:49:44,605 --> 01:49:46,561
It's not scary, okay?
Scary.

2428
01:49:46,645 --> 01:49:47,794
It's not scary.

2429
01:49:57,605 --> 01:49:59,005
Isn't that obvious?

2430
01:50:00,845 --> 01:50:01,994
Man down.

2431
01:50:07,765 --> 01:50:11,041
Come on, come on, come on!
Seriously? All right.

2432
01:50:15,166 --> 01:50:17,236
Hey. This is not a stadium,
it's a lobby.

2433
01:50:17,326 --> 01:50:19,920
Yeah, your hat, Hector!
Put on your hat.

2434
01:50:20,006 --> 01:50:21,405
What?

2435
01:50:21,486 --> 01:50:23,222
All right, this is not...
This is the wrong borough.

2436
01:50:23,246 --> 01:50:24,679
I'm from Manhattan.
The other one.

2437
01:50:24,766 --> 01:50:25,822
Excuse me. I'm sorry.

2438
01:50:25,846 --> 01:50:26,846
Okay, we're ready.

2439
01:50:26,926 --> 01:50:28,662
How's this going?
This is going to work very well.

2440
01:50:28,686 --> 01:50:31,962
Okay. This is not a stadium,
this is a lobby.

2441
01:50:32,046 --> 01:50:33,604
You were not
an essay-contest winner.

2442
01:50:33,686 --> 01:50:37,838
But I do have this 100%
hypoallergenic right-side out bra,

2443
01:50:37,966 --> 01:50:40,002
for you to wear
home since you're

2444
01:50:40,406 --> 01:50:43,000
exposed on that side.
Oh, that's so kind of you.

2445
01:50:44,446 --> 01:50:45,879
Thank you.
Pop that on. Gold plated.

2446
01:50:45,966 --> 01:50:47,240
Is this yours?
Well...

2447
01:50:55,527 --> 01:50:59,122
It's one really... long train.

2448
01:50:59,207 --> 01:51:00,526
Jesus!

2449
01:51:08,487 --> 01:51:10,607
I need to shave my
legs again quickly.

2450
01:51:11,367 --> 01:51:12,595
Hold him still.
Okay.

2451
01:51:14,447 --> 01:51:15,562
He's moving.

2452
01:51:15,647 --> 01:51:18,036
Tanner, no, no, no, no,
not on her bag!

2453
01:51:20,367 --> 01:51:22,047
It's, like, the fourth
time he's done this.

2454
01:51:23,407 --> 01:51:25,399
Enough with
the surprises, Sandy.

2455
01:51:25,488 --> 01:51:27,206
Sandy? I'm Sandy.

2456
01:51:27,768 --> 01:51:29,344
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm not here for a picture.

2457
01:51:29,368 --> 01:51:30,801
I'm here...
I'm here to show Julia.

2458
01:51:39,088 --> 01:51:40,726
Justified.

2459
01:51:42,448 --> 01:51:45,121
Sweetie, sweetie, your banana.
Sorry, your banana.

2460
01:51:45,248 --> 01:51:46,248
Ow!
Oh!

2461
01:51:46,808 --> 01:51:48,924
Whoa!

2462
01:51:53,568 --> 01:51:54,796
Oh, it's connected
to a string.

2463
01:51:54,888 --> 01:51:56,924
What? This is a big joke.

2464
01:51:57,088 --> 01:51:59,477
Maybe it's dental floss.
New thing dentists are doing.

2465
01:52:01,569 --> 01:52:03,287
Happy Mother's Day!

2466
01:58:45,020 --> 01:58:46,676
- Went actually very well.
- She's so good!

2467
01:58:46,700 --> 01:58:48,611
- Yay.
- Go again.