1
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:51,343
It's okay, you're gonna love it!
2
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:55,305
Happy first day of school.
3
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,100
Bye, sweetie.
4
00:00:58,267 --> 00:01:00,018
Hi! Hi.
5
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,521
Hey, I'm Sam.
6
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,064
Hi, I'm Julie.
7
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,818
- Bye!
- Bye, Mom!
8
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:11,363
I'm Hunter.
9
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:14,199
Sam's mine, right there.
The one with the glasses.
10
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,618
I'm Lisa. That's my Julie.
11
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,496
I'm Mitchell.
12
00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:22,124
Kayla's hero.
13
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,793
Oh. Are you okay? Yeah, yeah.
14
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,128
You crying?
15
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:28,422
No, man. It's a big
day, that's all.
16
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:29,774
You know, can I have
a tissue, please?
17
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:30,799
Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
18
00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:32,326
It's a big day for all of us.
Yeah.
19
00:01:32,350 --> 00:01:33,643
Thanks.
20
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,682
I think our daughters
are friends.
21
00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:41,852
And I think that
means we're friends.
22
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,732
Should we go get a drink?
23
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,443
You okay? Yeah. Yeah.
24
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,403
Do you guys wanna
go get a drink?
25
00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:54,591
Ah, they made it.
26
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:55,967
You guys wanna go grab
a drink real quick?
27
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:57,711
Is he asking us if we
wanna go grab a drink?
28
00:01:57,735 --> 00:01:59,112
I'm really hoping it's coffee.
29
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,881
Shut the fuck up!
30
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,902
Happy Halloween!
31
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:15,987
Assalam!
32
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:18,096
I can see Russia from my house!
33
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:29,232
That's right! Right here! Whoo!
34
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:32,152
Hey, hey...
35
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:36,073
Put your seatbelts on!
36
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,412
Surprise!
37
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,502
Careful!
38
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:20,701
You're probably gonna miss these
mornings that we spend together, right?
39
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:22,119
Stop.
40
00:03:22,424 --> 00:03:25,264
You're gonna make me cry, and I don't
wanna cry because it's prom night.
41
00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:27,749
It's supposed to be like the
most magical night of your life,
42
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,835
and, you know, I'm just
so anxious aboutfl.
43
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:34,297
Well, call me if
you feel anxious.
44
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,758
Or maybe FaceTime me,
if it wasn't too loud.
45
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:40,512
If it was too loud, you could just...
We could wave or whatever.
46
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:41,722
That'd be funny.
47
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:42,973
And then, loan...
48
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,349
You know what I was thinking?
49
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:47,060
You should send me photos
throughout the night.
50
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:51,940
Not like all night long, but if you
could do it every 30 minutes or so
51
00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:54,401
then I can put together
one of those iBooks.
52
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:55,694
That would be so fun. Yeah.
53
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,301
That would be a really... I don't
think you would regret that.
54
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,258
Hmm.
55
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:01,450
Mom? Mmm-hmm.
56
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:05,662
Are you gonna be okay
when I go to college?
57
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,539
Who, me? Yeah.
58
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,082
Me'?
59
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,169
What?
60
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:15,815
Please. Don't even get me...
61
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:16,965
Don't even...
62
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,177
Please!
63
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:25,366
Okay, bye, Mom!
64
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:26,451
Okay, bye!
65
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,143
I love you! Okay, I love you.
66
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,110
Oh, good, you did the laundry.
67
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,155
Yeah, and got a totally
sleepy, happy baby.
68
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,383
Full-blown renaissance man.
69
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,950
Oh! Beheveit.
70
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,702
It's a good thing
she's asleep, too.
71
00:04:45,829 --> 00:04:47,109
I was going through the laundry.
72
00:04:47,133 --> 00:04:48,663
Uh-huh. Found these new thongs.
73
00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,310
You know what I'm
gonna do with these?
74
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,627
"Paging Dr. Muff Diver.
Dr. Muff Diver,"
75
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,087
"you're needed in the OR
immediately, emergency surgery."
76
00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:58,334
Later on tonight, I'm tearing
these off with my teeth
77
00:04:58,358 --> 00:05:00,050
like an old-school
cartoon billy goat.
78
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:02,427
Honey. Mitchell.
79
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,264
Those are your daughter's.
80
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:09,943
No way. Kayla wears
cleats and Bears jerseys,
81
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,287
not some dirty
stripper undenuean.
82
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,391
You thought they were mine.
83
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,117
What am I, giving her
allowance in singles?
84
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:15,732
Go tell her she
can't wear these.
85
00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:17,168
Tell her they'll
make her sterile,
86
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,912
like with the laptop and
my brother's balls.
87
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,105
We're not sure that's what
happened with your brother.
88
00:05:21,129 --> 00:05:22,531
Honey, you're being ridiculous.
89
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:23,907
Kayla's becoming a woman.
90
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:26,794
This isn't the time to tighten your grip.
It's the time to loosen it.
91
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,745
This? This means we
tighten the grip.
92
00:05:28,912 --> 00:05:30,956
This isn't built for comfort,
it's built for speed.
93
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:32,442
We need to slow her
the fuck down.
94
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:35,335
The appliances go in
after the backsplash.
95
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,629
We've done it the
same way every time.
96
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,109
Uh-huh. All right, put
him on the phone.
97
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:46,429
I'm in the bathroom.
98
00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:10,328
Thanks, I was looking for that.
99
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,891
You mind telling
me what this is?
100
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:15,667
Uh, fuzz. Yeah.
101
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:16,835
Yeah, fuzz.
102
00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:19,402
It's what I thought it was and
then on further investigation,
103
00:06:19,426 --> 00:06:21,506
it is clearly an unraveled
filter of a cigarette.
104
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,425
Kayla, are you a smoker?
105
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:24,926
What? No.
106
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,095
I'm not a smoker, Dad.
107
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:31,016
Hey, haven't you seen the billions of
ads that tell you not to do this stuff?
108
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,435
Dad! You can't teach someone
not to try things. Okay?
109
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:35,896
That's what trying things is for.
To teach you things.
110
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,063
It's a contradiction.
111
00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:41,234
It's like telling me not to go for
a triple on a base hit to the gap
112
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,921
when I've made a good
turn around first
113
00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:44,865
and I know that the right
fielder has a weak arm.
114
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,158
Damn it, you're smart.
115
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,578
Okay. Yeah. All right. Time
to get ready for school, Dad.
116
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:52,829
Okay, all right.
117
00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,373
Julie! Sam!
118
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:56,642
Hey, girl!
119
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:57,751
Whoa!
120
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:00,897
I almost died.
121
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,316
Prom night!
122
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,550
I'm so, so excited!
123
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:06,760
Me, too.
124
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:12,140
Mmm. I love you.
125
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:13,975
I love you, too.
126
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,286
All right.
127
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:16,561
We're so gross. I know.
128
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,248
People are looking at us.
I don't care.
129
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:20,108
We better get "Cutest
Couple" in the yearbook.
130
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:32,619
I'm having sex.
131
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:36,891
- That's great!
- I'm having soup.
132
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,333
No. Tonight.
133
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,501
With Austin.
134
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,294
Wait, you're finally gonna do it?
Yeah.
135
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:45,131
I mean, you know, we've been dating
for six months and we love each other
136
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,385
and I just awkwardly got my pediatrician
to put me on birth control.
137
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:50,470
But she gave me a sticker.
138
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:52,222
Two because I was good, so...
139
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:57,018
I know it's kind of corny or whatever
but it just seems like prom night,
140
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:58,728
it's kind of perfect, you know?
141
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,690
We're gonna have,
like, dim lighting
142
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,483
and rose petals on the bed
143
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,570
and the scent from that
candle that gets me horny
144
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,153
every time I pass
it in Walgreens.
145
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,613
All candles get me horny.
146
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,198
I'm gonna look
into Austin's eyes
147
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:12,909
and then he's gonna
look into mine
148
00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:16,496
and then we're gonna touch
each other's faces, you know?
149
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,164
For, like, a long time.
150
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,000
Like, a long time.
151
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:23,503
Just to, like, connect.
And then we're gonna...
152
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,755
Ka pow.
153
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,009
All right, fuck it, I'm in.
154
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,569
- What?
- I'm in.
155
00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:31,713
I'm having sex tonight, too.
156
00:08:31,737 --> 00:08:33,531
Uh... Just like that?
157
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:34,615
Yeah. I mean, why not?
158
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:35,759
Because it's your first time
159
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:38,643
and your first time should
be special and perfect.
160
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:40,090
Yours can be special
and perfect.
161
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:43,898
Mine is gonna be tonight,
and with that dude.
162
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,745
They're just brownies,
they're not, like...
163
00:08:45,769 --> 00:08:48,361
Connor Aldrich?
Your lab partner?
164
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,256
Yeah. What? You haven't
even hooked up with him.
165
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,800
You haven't even seen his thing yet.
What if he has a weird one?
166
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:53,867
They're all weird.
167
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,453
Penises are not for looking
at, they're for use.
168
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,163
They're like plungers. Listen,
169
00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,789
my student athlete
days are over.
170
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,000
Tonight is the beginning
of my adult life
171
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,669
and for the first time I
can do whatever I want.
172
00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:08,089
So I wanna go to prom, get
drunk, get potted up on weed
173
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,716
andlose my goddamn virginity.
174
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,694
We're gonna have the same
first-time sex anniversary.
175
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,678
We can go to dinner every
year and commemorate it.
176
00:09:13,702 --> 00:09:15,305
Olive Garden. Yes! Olive Garden.
177
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:16,973
Breadsticks for life, bitch!
178
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:20,477
Oh, my God! It is gonna
be such a relief
179
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,896
to get this over and done
with before college.
180
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:25,624
Um...
181
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,025
No, I mean, like...
No, it's cool.
182
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,027
I just don't think
I'm there yet.
183
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:32,614
You know, maybe something might
happen tonight with me and Chad,
184
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:36,868
but I don't think sex
is gonna be that thing.
185
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,169
Sam?
186
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,549
But you never know
what could happen.
187
00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:54,761
I mean, maybe my inner sexual
Smaug will emerge from its keep
188
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,638
and spread its mighty wings.
189
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,308
I never know what
you're talking about.
190
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,102
Yeah, me neither.
191
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,612
Oh...
192
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,710
Julie, is that you?
193
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,719
So realistic.
194
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,142
Ugh.
195
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,896
Come on, Sam, we're waiting.
196
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,773
Be right there!
197
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,293
All right. There she is.
198
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,757
Took me 20 minutes to figure out
how to do video on this thing
199
00:10:53,781 --> 00:10:54,672
but I finally got it.
200
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,298
Nope.
201
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,532
I took a picture of myself.
202
00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,885
Siri, video, please.
203
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:03,705
Wow! That Chad is going to rip
through his little tuxedo pants.
204
00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:04,873
Mom! What?
205
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,291
That's gross. Why?
206
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:09,544
Because you're practically imagining
your daughter in sexual congress.
207
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:10,712
You sicko.
208
00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:16,759
I was just trying to connect with you.
You never talk to us anymore.
209
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,261
Hey, I got this.
210
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,429
Okay.
211
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,018
Prom night, huh?
212
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,872
I got sad and reflective
on my prom night, too.
213
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:28,956
You were? Yeah.
214
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,540
I was scared I wasn't
gonna stay friends
215
00:11:30,565 --> 00:11:32,084
with the guys I had been
around most of my life.
216
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,169
But I was able to...
217
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,673
Hey, baby, I love you so much.
You just really freaked her out.
218
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:40,658
Sweetie, if you're worried about that
at all, just know you shouldn't be.
219
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:43,119
You never stay friends with
people from high school.
220
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,330
I mean, the oldest friend
I have is Jan from work
221
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:46,896
and I've known her
for three months.
222
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:47,641
Who's Jan?
223
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:50,001
You know Jan, babe. She
draws those silly cartoons.
224
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,478
Oh, racist Jan.
225
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:52,563
Yeah, that's the one.
226
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:53,755
Who you are today
227
00:11:53,922 --> 00:11:57,425
is not who you're going to be.
And that's okay.
228
00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:59,802
That's good therapy. And
who you become will be
229
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:02,472
so different that your friends
won't understand you anymore
230
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,140
and then you will
wake up and realize
231
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:07,685
these friendships are over. This
feels like a very painful divorce,
232
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,452
just like the one I
had with your father,
233
00:12:09,476 --> 00:12:11,582
but then you'll find a Frank.
234
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:14,609
Uh, I appreciate that,
but that's not my deal.
235
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:17,278
I'm still cool with a lot of
my boys because on prom night,
236
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:23,409
me, Dennis, Matt, and Cory all convinced
our friend Steve to join the Army.
237
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,453
He fought in the
Persian Gulf War.
238
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,163
He died right away.
239
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:30,208
But once you go through
something like that,
240
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,418
you're bonded for life.
241
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:36,047
The bedrock of deep meaningful
friendships is shared experience.
242
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:40,468
I thought they were gonna
put him in the Reserves.
243
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,683
That is some horseshit.
244
00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,022
Hmm.
245
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:01,531
Wow.
246
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,842
You look so beautiful!
247
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:06,160
Turn around.
248
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,015
Wow.
249
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,416
Oh, my goodness.
250
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,418
Wow.
251
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,170
So what's the big
plan for after prom?
252
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:18,172
Uh, we're just
going to Austin's.
253
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:19,590
You really like him, huh?
254
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:23,678
Yeah. Yeah, I mean... Yeah, he's cool.
It's not like serious or anything.
255
00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,805
His mom told me
he got into UCLA.
256
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,032
That's nice.
257
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,766
Yeah, I mean, it's good.
258
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:32,913
You remember that time when, like,
I thought about going to UCLA?
259
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:33,998
Yes.
260
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:37,025
That would've been crazy. That
would've been the worst mistake ever.
261
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,878
I don't think it would've
been that huge of a mistake.
262
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,572
Uh, yes, it would have.
263
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:46,743
University of Chicago is perfect.
It's 45 minutes away.
264
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:50,371
So that way you're gone but
you're not gone, gone.
265
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:52,206
But I'm gone.
266
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,709
Right. But not, like, gone.
267
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:56,461
Right, but, like, I'm
going to college
268
00:13:56,627 --> 00:14:00,298
and, like, I'm not gonna live at home.
So I'm, like, I'm gone.
269
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:01,966
Mmm-hmm.
270
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,719
Why are my boobs so big?
271
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,012
Ready, Kayla?
272
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:07,138
Yep.
273
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,851
And now, standing at 5' 7",
274
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,395
"5' 9" if you count the heels,
275
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:18,149
straight out of Great Lakes High School,
the prettiest girl in all of prom,
276
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:20,651
Kayla Mannes.
277
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:24,965
Oh.
278
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,324
Just high-fives from now on.
279
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:27,909
Okay.
280
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:29,553
Oh, honey, I never thought
I'd see you in a dress!
281
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,204
Technically it's
not a full dress.
282
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,247
Some material is missing
from the middle there.
283
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:34,475
Okay.
284
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:35,559
You look great.
285
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,627
All right, yeah, I
think it's time to go.
286
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:39,921
Yes. Yeah. Honey, we gotta go.
287
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,090
Honey?
288
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,883
Dad, are you okay?
289
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,260
It's like when he
watched Frozen.
290
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:48,554
Come on.
291
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,766
Hi, how are you?
292
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:53,684
Hi! Hi! How are you?
293
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:54,995
Hi, Marcie.
294
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,854
Oh. Uh-huh.
295
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,457
Hey! Hey, Mitchell.
296
00:14:58,481 --> 00:14:59,801
Haven't seen you in a while.
Yeah.
297
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,419
You know, I was worried when I never
heard back from you about hot yoga.
298
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:05,780
Called you a bunch of times. I ended up
having to eat that two-for-one Groupon.
299
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:07,787
Oh, yeah, I don't really
do the hot-yoga thing.
300
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,867
We should catch up,
though, right?
301
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,327
Yeah. Like a lunch,
I don't know.
302
00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:13,204
Yeah, maybe. Yeah.
Give me a call.
303
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:14,622
I've been calling you. Mmm-hmm.
304
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:16,290
It doesn't work.
305
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,708
It's not effective.
306
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:36,018
I don't even know!
Wait, you guys.
307
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:38,785
Wait, this is, like, the best
lighting with the Valencia filter...
308
00:15:38,809 --> 00:15:40,477
Oh, God. All right. Here we go.
309
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:42,626
Yeah, okay. That's enough.
310
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:43,651
One more. We're good.
311
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,778
Oh, my God, we need to
get this party started.
312
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,113
Ooh, okay, Julie. Hmm.
313
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,281
I got you something.
314
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:50,700
It's coconut oil.
315
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,553
For lube.
316
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:55,931
I hear it works just as well and it
makes blowjobs taste like Almond Joy.
317
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,124
Thank God it doesn't
taste like Mounds.
318
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,209
I'd rather eat 10
dicks than one Mound.
319
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,962
Thank you. That's so sweet!
320
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,381
Oh, my God, I'm so excited.
321
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,717
Me, too. You have to text
me, like, right away.
322
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,528
Oh, my God, we're gonna be
doing it at the same time.
323
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,471
Oh, my God. We have to
talk about it tomorrow.
324
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,077
Yeah. You're gonna
know every detail.
325
00:16:13,101 --> 00:16:15,186
There's gonna be so much to talk...
Guys? Hey, guys!
326
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,311
I want in on this sex pact.
327
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:21,481
Are you sure? You don't have to
do this just because we are.
328
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:22,899
No, that's not why.
329
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:25,109
I want to have sex.
330
00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:28,213
Yeah. That's something all
three of us have in common.
331
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:33,993
Mmm-hmm. Chad is gonna tap
that ass with his penis
332
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,996
and I doubt we'll have anal
the first time, but...
333
00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:39,349
All right!
334
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:40,559
This is gonna make tonight
even more perfect.
335
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:41,983
Yeah. It's gonna be
the three of us!
336
00:16:42,007 --> 00:16:43,562
Yes!
337
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,588
Prom night, motherfuckers!
338
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:48,108
Yeah!
339
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:49,818
Whoo!
340
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,778
Rudy, it's coming up.
Turn left, bro.
341
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:54,931
Jesus, Rudy! What the fuck?
342
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,351
Oh, my God. It's my fucking dad.
343
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:08,110
Yeah! Prom night, bflchesl.
344
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,905
Whoo-hoo!
345
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,699
Oh, God, it's him. Arms up. Yo!
346
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:18,871
We gonna light it up
like it's prom night.
347
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,891
Taio Cruz.
348
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,291
Like it's prom night.
349
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:23,668
You got this, girl.
350
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,712
Don't mess this up because
that limo is totally awesome.
351
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,632
Sam! Sam!
352
00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:31,968
Taio Cruz. Whoo.
353
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:36,305
Sorry.
354
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:38,075
30W. on!
355
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:39,684
Whoo.
356
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,943
You're so grown up!
357
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,653
Dad, what are you doing here?
358
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:55,300
You think I'm gonna miss the most
important night of your young lfie?
359
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:56,385
That's graduation.
360
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,619
No. Graduation's for losers.
361
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:00,106
I didn't even go
to my graduation.
362
00:18:00,130 --> 00:18:02,299
But prom night,
that's a big one.
363
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:04,375
Prom was the best
night of my life.
364
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,043
I think about it every day
365
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:07,890
and I want you to have
the same experience.
366
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,380
Tonight you have fun,
367
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:12,717
you don't worry about any rules
that your mom or Frank laid down.
368
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,427
No one gives a fuck about Frank.
369
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,514
All I know is this. You look amazing
and I would love to grab a quick pic.
370
00:18:17,538 --> 00:18:21,267
No. Go stand with the other
parents and try to be normal.
371
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,269
Sam, I'm not a normal parent.
372
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,812
I don't even...
373
00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:26,347
Holy shit, you invited Hunter?
374
00:18:26,371 --> 00:18:27,371
No, of course not.
375
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,543
I haven't talked to him since
he and Brenda got divorced.
376
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,235
You know he calls me all the time?
What?
377
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:33,082
He wants to play darts.
I don't play darts!
378
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,572
Darts? You kidding me?
379
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:37,299
Anyway, I can't hang out with him.
I'll be guilty by association.
380
00:18:37,323 --> 00:18:39,619
No. No, l will never forgive
that babysitter fucker.
381
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,681
Hey, Hunter! Hey, man.
Good to see you.
382
00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:42,956
What up?
383
00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:45,458
Ah... Ah!
384
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:48,827
Did you have another daughter?
385
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,588
I did. I did.
386
00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:52,757
Thank you. It's been wonderful.
Yeah.
387
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:55,684
I'm thinking about doing that again.
You know, the whole second round?
388
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:58,429
I think a lot of dads kind of get
it right the second time around.
389
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,891
Or, you know, you could just
raise the one that you have.
390
00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:04,894
Well, I did. Too late for that.
Raised, job done.
391
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:06,979
Hi, honey. Actually, I heard
392
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:10,358
if you spend a significant amount
of time with your children
393
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:14,695
that you develop some kind of,
like, telekinetic bond with them.
394
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,614
Is that true? I've heard.
Mmm-hmm.
395
00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:20,201
I hope it's not true because if it is, Sam
has been looking at a lot of Asian porn.
396
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:23,329
My wife's Asian.
397
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:25,831
Indian. That's Asian.
398
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:27,625
This is more like, uh...
399
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,920
It looks like the typical Asian.
Yep, good seeing you, man.
400
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,167
Okay, good to see you, brother.
You know what I mean.
401
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,549
Who's this guy? Who are you?
402
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:36,777
Dad, this is my date.
403
00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:37,861
Hi.
404
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:39,885
Uh, it's great to meet you, sir.
I'm... I'm Connor.
405
00:19:40,052 --> 00:19:42,572
Connor and I were in the same
science class. We're lab partners.
406
00:19:42,596 --> 00:19:45,559
Yeah. We're working
on our chemistry.
407
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:46,852
Uh...
408
00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:50,272
I'm gonna get a napkin,
if that's cool.
409
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:51,774
Okay.
410
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,545
Okay, so, uh...
411
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:58,864
With this, it's one shot to
the groin, stab, and drag.
412
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,660
I refuse to believe she couldn't
do better than that loser.
413
00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:04,704
Oh, I think Chad seems nice.
414
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,498
Chad? No, Chad's amazing.
Look at that fedora.
415
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:10,025
I'm not talking about Chad, I'm
talking about fucking Frank.
416
00:20:10,049 --> 00:20:11,049
What a dick.
417
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,921
Frank does not seem
like a dick to me.
418
00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:15,808
He seems like a nice guy.
And you know what?
419
00:20:15,832 --> 00:20:18,509
Don't blame Brenda. It's
really hard being alone.
420
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,302
Let's just agree to
disagree on Frank.
421
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,304
Here they come.
Okay, just be cool.
422
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,591
He's gonna talk about his tow
truck company instantly.
423
00:20:24,615 --> 00:20:27,017
I guarantee you he's gonna
throw that shit in my face.
424
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,578
Be cool, be cool, be cool.
425
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:30,938
Brenda. Hunter.
426
00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:33,166
Frank.
427
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:34,191
Lisa.
428
00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:35,609
What'd I do?
429
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:39,066
I'm sorry, I don't know why I just said
your name like that. This is so nice.
430
00:20:39,090 --> 00:20:40,425
Thank you. You're welcome.
431
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,368
Okay.
432
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:45,984
No, no, no. Leese, Leese, Leese.
433
00:20:46,008 --> 00:20:47,723
I gotta go get Julie's wrap.
434
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,516
Mmm.
435
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:52,084
Were you gonna let our daughter
take a fucking Lyft to prom?
436
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,291
What is this, Afghanistan?
437
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:54,819
How'd you pay for
that limo, Hunter?
438
00:20:54,843 --> 00:20:56,523
'Cause I know your
credit's in the shitter.
439
00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:57,547
It is.
440
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,467
Because I bought your
mom a wheelchair.
441
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:00,801
She's gonna pay you back.
442
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:02,094
With what money, Brenda?
443
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,322
Can she pay me back with crackers
that she steals from restaurants?
444
00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:06,533
I don't wanna talk about your mom, I
don't wanna talk about her wheelohair.
445
00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:09,477
All I care about is that my daughter
has the greatest night of her life.
446
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:11,687
If it was her greatest night,
you would not be here.
447
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:14,690
Oh, what a sick burn. All
right, all right, all right.
448
00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:16,657
Good. Wait, yo, yo, yo,
we're all adults here.
449
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,028
Let's not make it uncomfortable.
450
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:21,515
If you're gonna be around more,
let's have a beer sometime.
451
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:24,283
Okay, first of all, I don't wanna
go to have a beer with you.
452
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:26,511
I don't wanna hang out with you. I don't
like you, I don't like your wife.
453
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:29,175
I don't like your guys' deal. I
think it sucks and it's played out.
454
00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:31,540
Hey, if you ever change
your mind, here's my card.
455
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:32,708
Ah, here we go.
456
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,211
"Tow with Frank." Where'd
you come up with that name?
457
00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:37,272
It's very straightforward. All
right, I'll tell you this.
458
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,816
The design of that
card is pretty cool.
459
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,684
And my favorite part is
right fucking there.
460
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:41,842
Oh.
461
00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:14,708
Wow, that is just...
No, that's us, Frank.
462
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:17,156
You've taken about 15 goddamn selfies.
I got it. I got it.
463
00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:18,963
Yeah! All right.
464
00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:21,274
Bye, Mom.
465
00:22:21,298 --> 00:22:22,800
- Have fun, honey. Okay.
- I will.
466
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:24,110
Bye, Dad.
467
00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:26,846
Remember, stab, turn, drag.
468
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,132
I don't have the knife, Dad.
469
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:29,380
Yes, you do. Check your clutch.
470
00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:30,724
Ugh.
471
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:33,143
Hey, uh, it's been
a pleasure, sir.
472
00:22:33,435 --> 00:22:35,521
I really, um... I'm honored.
473
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:37,606
Oh!
474
00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:40,609
Intense, professional grip.
Cheers!
475
00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:42,361
Take it easy, big guy.
Hey, uh...
476
00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:46,031
You guys have a good
night, too, you know.
477
00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:47,199
Thank you.
478
00:22:47,658 --> 00:22:49,378
See that smirk? What was
up with that smirk?
479
00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:51,161
You are intense.
480
00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:52,347
Sam. Oh.
481
00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:53,849
Hey! Mr. Lockwood. Hey!
482
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,113
Pleasure to meet you. Chad, yes.
483
00:22:55,137 --> 00:22:57,473
Come on, man. Bring it in.
Yes. Good. Yeah.
484
00:22:57,793 --> 00:22:58,793
My hat?
485
00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:01,005
I wanna talk to Sam real quick.
Yeah, okay.
486
00:23:01,422 --> 00:23:03,024
Let me get a picture real quick.
487
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:04,048
Chad. Oh.
488
00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:05,813
Real quick photo. Just,
just so fast. Okay.
489
00:23:05,837 --> 00:23:07,672
Don't even fuck with the filter.
Just plain.
490
00:23:07,839 --> 00:23:09,221
Here we go. There we go.
491
00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:11,283
And then you wanna get a quick
one of me and Chad real quick?
492
00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:12,683
That sounds cool. Yep. Okay.
493
00:23:12,850 --> 00:23:15,269
Sammy, here you go, baby. Real quick.
Just a couple fun ones.
494
00:23:15,436 --> 00:23:16,436
Like this?
495
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,147
Bros.
496
00:23:18,564 --> 00:23:19,732
Duck lips.
497
00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:21,859
And then just kind of a...
498
00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:24,904
Julie. Can I talk
to you a second?
499
00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:26,822
We gotta go. I love you.
500
00:23:26,907 --> 00:23:28,147
I'd really like to talk to you.
501
00:23:28,171 --> 00:23:29,491
But I really gotta go.
502
00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:31,218
Okay, fine. Just don't
forget your wrap.
503
00:23:32,191 --> 00:23:33,471
It's okay. I don't
think lneedit.
504
00:23:33,495 --> 00:23:34,496
Are you sure?
505
00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:37,291
Because we live in
Chicago, and it's chilly.
506
00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:38,959
I don't know about other places,
507
00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:42,379
but it gets cold in Illinois.
508
00:23:43,881 --> 00:23:46,281
It's not that cold tonight, so
I don't think I need it, okay?
509
00:23:46,305 --> 00:23:47,193
Okay, Julie, wait.
510
00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:49,617
So you'll call me when you get
to Austin's after prom? Right?
511
00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:50,679
Right.
512
00:23:51,013 --> 00:23:52,306
Okay.
513
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,099
Okay. I love you.
514
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:55,893
Okay. I love you.
515
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:58,437
Okay!
516
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:01,732
Okay.
517
00:24:07,571 --> 00:24:09,156
This is so cool!
518
00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:11,092
On!
519
00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:13,136
Blow it out!
520
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,829
Chad, I, um, I saw you
do Pippin last year.
521
00:24:15,996 --> 00:24:17,164
That was really good.
522
00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:20,793
Yeah, you're a really good singer, man.
What are you doing this year?
523
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:24,588
We're actually doing Arnold, which
is an all-male version of Annie.
524
00:24:25,422 --> 00:24:27,132
Caught you drinking!
525
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:29,385
Just kidding, y'all. I
may look like a parent
526
00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:31,512
but I assure you, I am no narc.
527
00:24:32,054 --> 00:24:33,597
Thank you, sir.
528
00:24:36,016 --> 00:24:37,559
Not done yet. Name's Rudy.
529
00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:39,103
I did not go to my prom. No.
530
00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:42,648
My leg was crushed by a cement
truck so I could not dance but...
531
00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:44,900
So I've made it my
mission in life,
532
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:48,404
my whole career, to make sure
that little kids like you
533
00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:50,406
have a wonderful night
to remember forever.
534
00:24:50,572 --> 00:24:54,344
So just sit back, relax,
and enjoy your prom night.
535
00:24:54,368 --> 00:24:56,578
Okay.
536
00:24:56,745 --> 00:24:58,372
Oh, fuck, that was the turn!
Fuck!
537
00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:02,167
Hey, Leese?
538
00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:04,169
You got any S.O.S. pads?
539
00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:07,589
I'm soaking those pans, but you burnt
the shit out of that mac: and cheese.
540
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:10,467
Sponge just isn't gonna cut it.
541
00:25:10,718 --> 00:25:12,428
Thanks for helping clean up.
542
00:25:12,594 --> 00:25:14,221
Don't mention this one.
543
00:25:14,388 --> 00:25:17,433
I mean, Marcie brought the
baby home early and...
544
00:25:17,641 --> 00:25:21,770
I gotta keep busy. I gotta keep my
mind off of Kayla and "Connor."
545
00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,898
That's not the right
way to use those.
546
00:25:25,065 --> 00:25:28,235
'Cause his name is actually Connor.
So...
547
00:25:29,987 --> 00:25:31,405
It's okay.
548
00:25:31,572 --> 00:25:33,967
UCLA? Uh-huh.
549
00:25:33,991 --> 00:25:35,311
I didn't mean to
snoop, but I'm...
550
00:25:35,335 --> 00:25:36,261
No, no. It's okay.
551
00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:37,845
I mean, I don't think
it's a real thing.
552
00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:39,747
She's not actually gonna go.
553
00:25:39,913 --> 00:25:42,583
I think she just applied for fun.
She didn't...
554
00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:44,030
Why, have you heard differently?
555
00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:48,630
I would assume it's to go, but she very
well could have applied ironically.
556
00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,197
I mean, you know
millennials, right?
557
00:25:50,221 --> 00:25:51,723
Hmm. Wherever she goes...
558
00:25:51,967 --> 00:25:53,847
You're gonna have a bunch
of time on your hands.
559
00:25:54,014 --> 00:25:56,694
You oan figure out what you wanna
do for the back nine of your life.
560
00:25:56,718 --> 00:25:58,092
Uh-huh. Yeah.
561
00:25:58,891 --> 00:26:01,310
I think Julie left
her laptop open.
562
00:26:02,269 --> 00:26:03,604
Julie's doing a lot of texting.
563
00:26:03,771 --> 00:26:05,314
Mmm-hmm. Ls everything okay?
564
00:26:06,065 --> 00:26:07,483
Maybe we should check to see?
565
00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:09,026
Peace of mind. Yeah.
566
00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:15,074
What the hell is that?
567
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,867
I have no idea.
568
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,320
What are you still doing here?
569
00:26:21,455 --> 00:26:25,584
Hey, your, uh, mac: and
cheese is messed up.
570
00:26:28,754 --> 00:26:30,756
Are you guys snooping
on your kids?
571
00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:32,132
That is not cool.
572
00:26:32,299 --> 00:26:34,468
No, it's not snooping if
the information shows up.
573
00:26:34,624 --> 00:26:35,904
That's exactly what snooping is.
574
00:26:35,928 --> 00:26:37,763
No, it's like the Patriot Act.
575
00:26:37,930 --> 00:26:39,074
Well, it's not like
the Patriot Act.
576
00:26:39,098 --> 00:26:40,099
It's like snooping.
577
00:26:40,224 --> 00:26:42,643
Okay. We don't know what
they're talking about, so...
578
00:26:42,810 --> 00:26:43,977
What? Okay.
579
00:26:44,144 --> 00:26:46,271
Oh, is it like puzzles?
Ooh, I love puzzles.
580
00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:47,523
Husk saw Inferno.
581
00:26:47,689 --> 00:26:49,009
Yeah, great. What
are they saying?
582
00:26:49,033 --> 00:26:51,586
Okay, so there's something
about an eggplant handshake.
583
00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:52,670
Eggplant agreement.
584
00:26:52,694 --> 00:26:54,714
Yeah. They got an agreement
to make eggplant Parmesan.
585
00:26:54,738 --> 00:26:56,591
No, eggplants are dicks in
teenage emoji language.
586
00:26:56,615 --> 00:26:58,009
What? LISA: You know
what, that's true.
587
00:26:58,033 --> 00:27:00,713
Julie told me that the emojis have...
They all have secret meanings.
588
00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:02,287
Mmm-hmm. So, like,
trees are weed
589
00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:05,499
and snowflakes are cocaine and
590
00:27:06,083 --> 00:27:07,292
that thing is "yas queen."
591
00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:08,460
'(as queer“!
592
00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:10,230
What the hell is that? You've
never heard of "yas queen"?
593
00:27:10,254 --> 00:27:11,296
No. All right, grandpa.
594
00:27:11,463 --> 00:27:16,093
Hold on. Julie is making some kind
of a dick-related agreement here.
595
00:27:16,260 --> 00:27:18,220
Kayla is in on the agreement.
596
00:27:18,387 --> 00:27:19,680
No fucking way.
597
00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:21,765
Okay, clown face. What
the fuck does that mean?
598
00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:24,726
That means she's down to clown.
599
00:27:26,603 --> 00:27:27,604
- Okay.
- Three eggplants?
600
00:27:27,771 --> 00:27:29,582
And look at the drool coming
out of that smiley face.
601
00:27:29,606 --> 00:27:30,667
You wish that was drool.
602
00:27:30,691 --> 00:27:31,891
That's cum, my man. Stand down!
603
00:27:32,025 --> 00:27:33,443
It is. Look, it's cum.
He's, like...
604
00:27:33,610 --> 00:27:36,446
This is sex if I've ever seen
it illustrated in emoji form.
605
00:27:36,613 --> 00:27:39,324
No, no, no. Maybe not. They're
best friends. They're just saying,
606
00:27:39,491 --> 00:27:41,118
like, "You're okay with me."
607
00:27:41,285 --> 00:27:43,388
"You're okay to me. You're okay to
me." You say that to your friends?
608
00:27:43,412 --> 00:27:45,789
Whenever I see my friends, I go, "Hey!
You're okay with me."
609
00:27:45,956 --> 00:27:47,249
I don't use these!
610
00:27:47,416 --> 00:27:49,084
Hold on. Agreement
hands, agreement hands,
611
00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:51,251
agreement hands. This is a...
It's a sex agreement.
612
00:27:51,378 --> 00:27:53,463
They're making a sex pact.
613
00:27:53,630 --> 00:27:55,550
They're gonna lose their
virginity on prom night.
614
00:27:55,574 --> 00:27:56,884
That cannot be a sex pact.
615
00:27:57,050 --> 00:27:58,594
That? That is friendship.
616
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:02,723
And that is the bond of friendship
that can never be broken.
617
00:28:02,890 --> 00:28:04,099
I mean, maybe. Yeah.
618
00:28:04,266 --> 00:28:05,906
Oh! Just look, they
wrote "Sex Pact 2018."
619
00:28:05,934 --> 00:28:08,520
I fucking knew it!
I love puzzles.
620
00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:10,522
I told you guys. Have
you seen Inferno?
621
00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:12,409
Call your kid. Leese,
have you seen Inferno?
622
00:28:12,433 --> 00:28:13,567
Have you guys seen Inferno?
623
00:28:13,632 --> 00:28:15,712
I figured it out in two seconds.
Did you see Inferno?
624
00:28:15,736 --> 00:28:17,630
The guy jumps off the thing in
the beginning. He's got a virus.
625
00:28:17,654 --> 00:28:19,114
Have you seen Inferno
with Tom Hanks?
626
00:28:19,281 --> 00:28:20,282
Okay.
627
00:28:20,449 --> 00:28:21,968
Okay, she's not answering her phone.
Yeah, Kayla isn't either.
628
00:28:21,992 --> 00:28:23,535
Okay, what the
heck is happening?
629
00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:25,037
She's always been
honest with me.
630
00:28:25,204 --> 00:28:26,973
She's always told me the truth,
631
00:28:26,997 --> 00:28:29,541
and now I'm just swimming
in a pool of lies.
632
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:31,376
Okay. Here's what's
gonna happen.
633
00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:34,004
She's gonna have sex
with that Austin kid
634
00:28:34,171 --> 00:28:37,049
and then she's gonna think that
she has all these feelings,
635
00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:39,218
which she does not
actually have,
636
00:28:39,384 --> 00:28:41,720
and then she's gonna
drive across country
637
00:28:41,887 --> 00:28:44,514
and follow him and
ruin her fucking life!
638
00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:47,521
Okay, I think that's a pretty big leap
to make when you read a couple...
639
00:28:47,559 --> 00:28:50,646
I have invested every
single piece of my being
640
00:28:50,812 --> 00:28:52,652
into preparing Kayla for
success, and now this?
641
00:28:53,148 --> 00:28:57,236
She is about to have sex with
some dipshit with a "man bun."
642
00:28:57,402 --> 00:28:59,780
You're not using those
in the right way.
643
00:28:59,947 --> 00:29:02,157
Hey, can we all come
back to "Planet Earth"?
644
00:29:02,324 --> 00:29:03,700
'Cause this is not a big deal.
645
00:29:03,867 --> 00:29:06,411
They're teenage girls.
They have sex.
646
00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:09,414
Do you freak out when you
see a bee fucking a flower?
647
00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:13,752
I'm gonna stop her.
648
00:29:13,961 --> 00:29:15,021
I'm in.
649
00:29:15,045 --> 00:29:16,898
Let's cockblock those
motherfuckers.
650
00:29:16,922 --> 00:29:18,858
Whoa...
651
00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:19,943
No, sir. Uh-uh.
652
00:29:19,967 --> 00:29:22,511
No, no, no, no. I promised Sam
the greatest night of her life
653
00:29:22,564 --> 00:29:24,364
and if you guys fuck up
your daughters' night,
654
00:29:24,388 --> 00:29:26,991
it's gonna fuck up my daughter's
night, and that shit is "not cool."
655
00:29:27,015 --> 00:29:28,615
I don't give a fuck
what's cool with you.
656
00:29:28,639 --> 00:29:29,977
Let's go, Mitchell. I'll drive.
657
00:29:30,143 --> 00:29:31,645
Hey! Hey, hey, wait! No, no, no.
658
00:29:31,812 --> 00:29:33,188
You wanna go?
659
00:29:33,355 --> 00:29:34,815
You got to go through me.
660
00:29:35,023 --> 00:29:37,276
Oh, Jesus. Okay, you
called my bluff. Wait.
661
00:29:37,776 --> 00:29:38,777
Wait! Hey!
662
00:29:38,902 --> 00:29:41,029
Get off! Get off of me! Get off!
HUNTER: Hey! Hey!
663
00:29:41,196 --> 00:29:42,489
Not cool!
664
00:29:42,656 --> 00:29:43,865
This is "not cool"!
665
00:29:44,032 --> 00:29:46,451
Hey! What's the plan?
This is stupid.
666
00:29:50,122 --> 00:29:51,164
Fuck off.
667
00:29:51,687 --> 00:29:52,767
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
668
00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:53,917
What the fuck are you doing?
669
00:29:54,084 --> 00:29:56,712
I just need to talk to my
daughter for five minutes.
670
00:29:56,878 --> 00:29:57,939
Get out of the car!
671
00:29:57,963 --> 00:29:59,023
You get out.
672
00:29:59,047 --> 00:30:00,108
You get out! You get out!
673
00:30:00,132 --> 00:30:01,252
Stop saying what I'm saying!
674
00:30:01,276 --> 00:30:03,361
Stop saying what I'm saying.
Stop saying what I'm saying!
675
00:30:03,385 --> 00:30:04,625
Stop! Okay. Listen, listen. Hey!
676
00:30:04,761 --> 00:30:06,221
Okay, everyone calm
down, calm down.
677
00:30:07,097 --> 00:30:08,307
The window! No, the window!
678
00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:10,475
Hey! What the fuck! No!
679
00:30:14,438 --> 00:30:15,790
Damn, these are new shorts!
680
00:30:15,814 --> 00:30:16,874
Truce, truce!
681
00:30:16,898 --> 00:30:18,900
Truce, truce, truce.
682
00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:21,838
I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!
683
00:30:21,862 --> 00:30:23,506
Oh, my fucking God!
684
00:30:23,530 --> 00:30:24,531
Uh...
685
00:30:25,532 --> 00:30:26,592
I'm sorry, man.
686
00:30:26,616 --> 00:30:29,286
It's not gonna work.
You're not Schwarzenegger!
687
00:30:31,413 --> 00:30:32,914
How is that possible?
688
00:30:33,081 --> 00:30:34,875
How is that possible? Oh, shit!
689
00:30:35,417 --> 00:30:36,543
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
690
00:30:36,710 --> 00:30:37,794
My balls! My balls!
691
00:30:38,295 --> 00:30:39,296
Your ass is so...
692
00:30:41,965 --> 00:30:43,484
Hey! Hey! Not cool!
693
00:30:43,508 --> 00:30:45,385
Ah! You're bullying me!
694
00:30:45,552 --> 00:30:48,388
This is bullying! What
you're doing is wrong!
695
00:30:49,681 --> 00:30:52,059
You know your daughter's in
this stupid sex pact, too.
696
00:30:52,225 --> 00:30:54,305
Yeah, and she's not gonna
do anything about it, okay?
697
00:30:54,329 --> 00:30:56,372
Like you would know what
your daughter's gonna do.
698
00:30:56,831 --> 00:30:58,398
Okay, first of all, ouch!
699
00:30:58,565 --> 00:31:01,818
Second of all, I know nothing is
gonna happen with Sam because...
700
00:31:02,235 --> 00:31:03,528
Because she's gay.
701
00:31:04,321 --> 00:31:06,323
Really? Did she come out to you?
702
00:31:06,490 --> 00:31:08,950
No, of course not. She
barely speaks to me.
703
00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:10,869
Then how do you know?
Because, bro,
704
00:31:11,036 --> 00:31:13,663
I'm her dad. And there's
just some things you know.
705
00:31:13,830 --> 00:31:16,291
Chad is nothing.
He's like a beard.
706
00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:19,544
Or whatever a lesbian beard is.
A merkin?
707
00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:20,791
I don't know. The point is,
708
00:31:20,837 --> 00:31:22,923
I guarantee you they
don't even kiss, okay?
709
00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:24,378
I'm not worried about that.
710
00:31:24,466 --> 00:31:26,546
I'm worried about you two
dicks fucking up her night.
711
00:31:26,676 --> 00:31:28,637
Okay, well, what you
don't understand is that
712
00:31:28,804 --> 00:31:31,223
sex can be very confusing
for young girls,
713
00:31:31,390 --> 00:31:34,142
and make them say things and do
things that they might regret.
714
00:31:34,476 --> 00:31:35,727
Like dropping out of college
715
00:31:35,894 --> 00:31:38,105
to follow around the
Dave Matthews Band
716
00:31:38,271 --> 00:31:41,191
with a guy they think they love who
then winds up getting them pregnant
717
00:31:41,358 --> 00:31:42,776
and then leaving them
718
00:31:42,943 --> 00:31:47,572
for the girl who makes grilled cheese
sandwiches with hash aioli on them.
719
00:31:48,865 --> 00:31:52,828
Yeah, that is a extremely
specific scenario
720
00:31:52,994 --> 00:31:54,621
and that won't happen to Julie.
721
00:31:54,788 --> 00:31:57,588
Dave's not even touring right now.
He's taking time off for fatherhood.
722
00:31:57,707 --> 00:31:59,292
It was me, you idiot.
723
00:31:59,835 --> 00:32:01,294
Me. That happened to me.
724
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:02,921
Yeah.
725
00:32:15,100 --> 00:32:16,911
You weren't ready!
Okay, one more.
726
00:32:16,935 --> 00:32:17,936
Smile.
727
00:32:18,728 --> 00:32:19,729
I closed my eye.
728
00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:21,857
Oh, my God!
729
00:32:22,023 --> 00:32:24,484
You guys! This is our song!
730
00:32:24,651 --> 00:32:26,451
Do you remember when we
got snowed in at Sam's
731
00:32:26,475 --> 00:32:28,488
and we played this like
over and over? Yes!
732
00:32:28,655 --> 00:32:30,615
We have to dance!
This is our jam!
733
00:32:44,838 --> 00:32:45,898
Hey! Hey!
734
00:32:45,922 --> 00:32:47,233
Hey! I want a drink.
735
00:32:47,257 --> 00:32:48,417
Okay, yeah, let's go get one.
736
00:32:48,441 --> 00:32:50,402
No, no, no, no. Like, a drink.
737
00:32:50,469 --> 00:32:52,053
Oh, you want a drink-drink.
Yeah.
738
00:32:52,220 --> 00:32:54,097
Okay, let me call my guy.
739
00:32:54,264 --> 00:32:55,265
Hello, Mr. Drink Drink.
740
00:32:55,974 --> 00:32:56,975
Let's go get fucked up!
741
00:32:57,142 --> 00:32:58,143
Okay.
742
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:00,437
Kayla, Kayla! Ah.
743
00:33:11,740 --> 00:33:13,158
Hey. Chad!
744
00:33:13,325 --> 00:33:14,993
I'm gonna go get,
uh, some dessert.
745
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:16,495
Get me two!
746
00:33:26,713 --> 00:33:29,424
Hey, Angelica, it's a nice cape.
747
00:33:29,591 --> 00:33:30,842
Uh, hey, Sam,
748
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,135
thank you.
749
00:33:35,514 --> 00:33:40,018
Um, yeah, it's a Galadriel cape that I
made a couple months ago for LordCon.
750
00:33:40,185 --> 00:33:41,385
Figured I could wear it again.
751
00:33:41,409 --> 00:33:44,204
Not too much overlap
on the guest list.
752
00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:47,567
Yeah. Totally.
753
00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:51,339
Who'd you come here with?
754
00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:53,281
Um... Just my friends.
755
00:33:53,907 --> 00:33:55,951
Lauren and I broke up.
756
00:33:57,035 --> 00:33:58,221
Oh!
757
00:33:58,245 --> 00:34:00,306
No hard feelings though.
758
00:34:00,330 --> 00:34:03,375
Um, she's still a
little confused.
759
00:34:04,793 --> 00:34:06,795
How do you think one becomes
760
00:34:07,504 --> 00:34:10,257
not confused?
761
00:34:11,174 --> 00:34:14,135
It's probably different
for everyone.
762
00:34:14,302 --> 00:34:17,514
But for me, when I kissed Brad
Markowski, I started to suspect it,
763
00:34:17,681 --> 00:34:21,810
and then last year when I touched
Dash Lowenstein's dick, I was like,
764
00:34:21,977 --> 00:34:24,563
"Fuck no." It was like
holding a dead snake.
765
00:34:24,938 --> 00:34:25,939
Hmm.
766
00:34:28,108 --> 00:34:30,735
But I guess you never
know until you try.
767
00:34:39,202 --> 00:34:40,745
Uh, before I do
drink this, though,
768
00:34:40,912 --> 00:34:42,163
I just wanna let you know
769
00:34:42,330 --> 00:34:44,708
that I am fully planning
on having sex tonight.
770
00:34:46,209 --> 00:34:47,711
With... With you.
771
00:34:48,169 --> 00:34:50,755
Yeah, I mean, wherever
the wind blows us.
772
00:34:51,131 --> 00:34:52,841
Well, the Wind's
gonna blow us there.
773
00:34:53,216 --> 00:34:54,593
Wherever the night takes us.
774
00:34:54,759 --> 00:34:57,053
It's gonna take your
penis into my vagina.
775
00:34:57,220 --> 00:35:00,015
Okay. Uh... You know, if
the universe wills it.
776
00:35:00,181 --> 00:35:02,559
And the universe will will it.
777
00:35:04,185 --> 00:35:06,813
Thanks for letting me know.
I guess.
778
00:35:08,356 --> 00:35:09,649
Uh, yeah.
779
00:35:09,774 --> 00:35:11,109
Oh, my God! I warned you.
780
00:35:11,276 --> 00:35:12,819
This is what gin tastes like?
No, no.
781
00:35:12,986 --> 00:35:15,322
I've heard that gin sucks and this sucks.
No, it's...
782
00:35:15,989 --> 00:35:18,366
I made it. Um... Oh.
783
00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:20,660
This is so dumb. Okay?
784
00:35:20,827 --> 00:35:23,547
Yeah, our kids are gonna hate us
because you're gonna humiliate them.
785
00:35:23,571 --> 00:35:26,124
I'm not gonna humiliate Julie.
We're best friends.
786
00:35:26,291 --> 00:35:27,351
I'm the cool mom.
787
00:35:27,375 --> 00:35:29,175
Hunter, don't make me sit
on your balls again.
788
00:35:29,210 --> 00:35:31,379
Stop, stop, stop it, stop, stop!
789
00:35:31,546 --> 00:35:34,174
This is how they're gonna be
remembered in high school,
790
00:35:34,341 --> 00:35:36,926
as the weirdos whose parents
dragged them out of prom
791
00:35:37,093 --> 00:35:38,813
because they were afraid
of their sexuality.
792
00:35:39,012 --> 00:35:41,931
It's not something that should be
feared, it should be celebrated.
793
00:35:43,350 --> 00:35:46,019
And... And we have to
empower these young women.
794
00:35:46,186 --> 00:35:48,647
I mean, what year is it, guys?
It's 2018.
795
00:35:50,357 --> 00:35:52,067
- Jesus Christ!
- Oh, gross.
796
00:35:52,233 --> 00:35:53,234
Okay, you know what?
797
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:54,736
That's an unfortunate
coincidence.
798
00:35:54,903 --> 00:35:56,154
Get a fucking room!
799
00:36:04,954 --> 00:36:06,414
Let's take a picture!
800
00:36:06,581 --> 00:36:08,291
Kayla! Let's take a
picture right now.
801
00:36:08,458 --> 00:36:10,168
Okay, cool!
802
00:36:10,335 --> 00:36:11,336
Cheese!
803
00:36:11,711 --> 00:36:13,963
Oh, my God, my mom called
me, like, 15 times.
804
00:36:14,130 --> 00:36:15,799
She's crazy! Nope.
805
00:36:15,965 --> 00:36:17,445
No. That's a no.
That's kind of funny.
806
00:36:17,469 --> 00:36:19,386
Boom! Airplane mode. No.
807
00:36:19,552 --> 00:36:21,846
Yeah. We're flying the
friendly skies now.
808
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:23,264
Yeah, until she freaks out.
809
00:36:23,431 --> 00:36:24,831
Look, can we please
get out of here?
810
00:36:24,891 --> 00:36:26,476
No! We can't go right now.
811
00:36:26,643 --> 00:36:28,603
They haven't even played
me and Austin's song yet.
812
00:36:28,687 --> 00:36:29,789
How are we gonna
get in the mood?
813
00:36:29,813 --> 00:36:31,453
I don't know, light
your Walgreens candle.
814
00:36:31,477 --> 00:36:32,375
That's later.
815
00:36:32,399 --> 00:36:35,068
Don't you want... Look, look.
Jake Donahue is just warming up.
816
00:36:36,361 --> 00:36:38,761
Don't you wanna see him breakdance
and probably hurt himself?
817
00:36:38,928 --> 00:36:40,448
- No. I don't.
- It's gonna be so good.
818
00:36:40,555 --> 00:36:42,659
Do you remember at the
Sadie Hawkins Dance
819
00:36:42,826 --> 00:36:45,787
when he tried to do the worm and he
fell and broke his two front teeth?
820
00:36:45,954 --> 00:36:47,264
Yeah, he had to go to the hospital.
I have pictures.
821
00:36:47,288 --> 00:36:49,642
It was great. And this
is gonna be better!
822
00:36:49,666 --> 00:36:50,786
No, no, no. So we're staying.
823
00:36:50,810 --> 00:36:53,021
No! Julie, Julie. I promise
824
00:36:53,128 --> 00:36:55,688
that you're gonna dance to your
song with your boyfriend tonight.
825
00:36:55,712 --> 00:36:56,965
This place is dying, okay?
826
00:36:57,132 --> 00:36:58,466
We gotta get out of here.
827
00:36:58,633 --> 00:36:59,634
Okay, fine.
828
00:36:59,968 --> 00:37:01,886
Okay, cool, let's go.
829
00:37:02,804 --> 00:37:04,013
We're going to the lake house!
830
00:37:04,180 --> 00:37:06,307
I'm not sure that
this was worth $85.
831
00:37:06,474 --> 00:37:08,035
Where's Chad?
832
00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:09,120
What?
833
00:37:09,144 --> 00:37:10,812
Oh, he's probably out
on the dance floor.
834
00:37:10,979 --> 00:37:12,859
I'm gonna go find him and
meet you guys outside.
835
00:37:12,883 --> 00:37:13,884
All right.
836
00:37:29,914 --> 00:37:30,915
The fuck?
837
00:37:34,961 --> 00:37:36,588
Smirking little piece of shit.
838
00:37:36,838 --> 00:37:38,548
Top knot. Top knot.
Let's get him.
839
00:37:38,715 --> 00:37:40,467
Yeah, you guys go do that.
840
00:37:40,633 --> 00:37:42,594
I'm gonna get some punch.
841
00:37:43,511 --> 00:37:45,511
All right, asshole, what'd
you do with my daughter?
842
00:37:45,972 --> 00:37:48,349
Two of you guys have the
same shitty haircut? Hey!
843
00:37:48,516 --> 00:37:50,435
Look at me. My hair's too long.
844
00:37:51,311 --> 00:37:54,314
Hey! You can't go around
assaulting children.
845
00:37:54,481 --> 00:37:55,815
You have to blend in
846
00:37:56,316 --> 00:37:58,109
if you want some
information, okay?
847
00:37:58,276 --> 00:38:01,988
So just... Just be cool. God!
848
00:38:02,155 --> 00:38:03,364
Okay.
849
00:38:04,365 --> 00:38:05,533
Julie?
850
00:38:06,534 --> 00:38:07,702
Julie?
851
00:38:14,167 --> 00:38:15,960
Prom night, huh?
852
00:38:16,586 --> 00:38:17,670
What?
853
00:38:18,922 --> 00:38:21,007
Just special night.
854
00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:28,681
Gotta try.
855
00:38:35,063 --> 00:38:36,189
Chad? Yeah?
856
00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:57,043
This is my moment.
857
00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:15,728
You ruined my moment!
858
00:39:15,895 --> 00:39:17,021
Fuck your moment.
859
00:39:18,398 --> 00:39:19,458
What happened back there?
860
00:39:19,482 --> 00:39:22,735
What happened is that my daughter was
kissing Chad even though she hated it...
861
00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:25,655
And I've been dragged in this
situation by you two fucking idiots!
862
00:39:25,822 --> 00:39:26,902
Just ignore him. Great idea.
863
00:39:26,948 --> 00:39:28,008
We're gonna go to
Austin's house.
864
00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:29,969
Julie said that's where the after-party
is and we'll get 'em there.
865
00:39:29,993 --> 00:39:31,113
And that sounds like a plan.
866
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:32,787
Hey, how dare you ignore me.
867
00:39:32,954 --> 00:39:35,554
We are in this situation because
you two raised a couple of bigots
868
00:39:35,578 --> 00:39:38,543
who have shamed my daughter into
losing her virginity to the wrong sex.
869
00:39:38,710 --> 00:39:40,003
Shame!
870
00:39:40,169 --> 00:39:43,190
My daughter is not a bigot.
871
00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:45,842
We go to all of the marches.
872
00:39:46,009 --> 00:39:49,178
We went to the Tax Day March
and nobody goes to that shit.
873
00:39:49,345 --> 00:39:50,847
Nobody! Ignore him.
874
00:39:51,014 --> 00:39:52,348
It's hard. Yeah, it is hard.
875
00:39:52,515 --> 00:39:53,516
'Cause I don't quit.
876
00:39:53,725 --> 00:39:54,976
And now I have to go rescue Sam
877
00:39:55,143 --> 00:39:57,145
because she is
scared and confused
878
00:39:57,312 --> 00:40:00,565
and I know what it's like to be ostracized
by society for your sexual preferences.
879
00:40:00,732 --> 00:40:04,152
Sleeping with women that aren't your
wife isn't a sexual preference.
880
00:40:04,319 --> 00:40:06,547
No, it is! I prefer them.
881
00:40:06,571 --> 00:40:08,382
How parents can let their kids
882
00:40:08,406 --> 00:40:09,616
play music this loud?
883
00:40:10,158 --> 00:40:11,951
We all share this planet.
884
00:40:12,118 --> 00:40:13,838
This is how loud I listen
to my music, dawg.
885
00:40:13,953 --> 00:40:15,914
Probably won't even
be able to hear us.
886
00:40:16,581 --> 00:40:18,541
It's so dark in there.
887
00:40:18,666 --> 00:40:22,045
They could be in the backyard playing
two-on-two hoops. I don't know.
888
00:40:23,171 --> 00:40:24,339
Oh. I found a big window.
889
00:40:25,489 --> 00:40:26,609
No, no, don't, don't, don't.
890
00:40:26,633 --> 00:40:29,302
Trust me. Do not
look in that window.
891
00:40:29,469 --> 00:40:31,229
What? Look at me. Do not
look in this window.
892
00:40:31,253 --> 00:40:32,613
Do not look in this
fucking window!
893
00:40:35,350 --> 00:40:36,893
Julie's red dress! Shit!
894
00:40:38,144 --> 00:40:40,813
Shit! Oh, God.
895
00:40:42,941 --> 00:40:44,692
I know this must
be tough for you.
896
00:40:44,859 --> 00:40:45,985
I mean, if...
897
00:40:46,152 --> 00:40:48,237
Hell, if that was Kayla
in there, I'd...
898
00:40:49,364 --> 00:40:50,990
I'd kill myself. Nope.
899
00:40:51,157 --> 00:40:53,159
That's the wrong thing to
fucking say right now.
900
00:40:53,493 --> 00:40:55,244
Stop them. Stop it!
901
00:40:55,411 --> 00:40:56,412
I can't... Wait.
902
00:40:57,455 --> 00:40:59,475
Hey! It's not Julie.
903
00:40:59,499 --> 00:41:00,559
It's not Julie.
904
00:41:00,583 --> 00:41:02,728
What?
905
00:41:02,752 --> 00:41:04,963
Shit! It's Austin's parents.
906
00:41:05,129 --> 00:41:06,255
Good for them.
907
00:41:06,422 --> 00:41:07,465
Really going at it.
908
00:41:07,632 --> 00:41:10,393
Always wanted to do this. I've always
wanted to watch people have sex.
909
00:41:10,510 --> 00:41:12,279
Oh, my God, he's
yanking her hair.
910
00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:13,805
Ow. That looks like it hurts.
911
00:41:13,972 --> 00:41:15,932
Yeah, we shouldn't be looking, man.
Come on.
912
00:41:16,099 --> 00:41:18,142
She runs the risk of, like,
dislocating her hip.
913
00:41:18,309 --> 00:41:20,229
Hey, Mitchell. You're being
a fucking perv, dude.
914
00:41:20,253 --> 00:41:21,838
Don't look.
915
00:41:27,777 --> 00:41:29,112
What happened?
916
00:41:29,821 --> 00:41:31,280
We locked eyes and
then he finished.
917
00:41:31,447 --> 00:41:33,700
That means his load is on
your soul for eternity.
918
00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:34,885
Holy shit!
919
00:41:34,909 --> 00:41:35,910
Oh, shit, he's coming.
920
00:41:37,203 --> 00:41:38,871
I'll pretend I'm a plant.
921
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:43,751
Mitchell? What are you doing?
922
00:41:43,876 --> 00:41:45,503
Lisa? Hey, Ron!
923
00:41:45,962 --> 00:41:47,463
What are you guys
doing out here?
924
00:41:47,630 --> 00:41:48,691
Hi!
925
00:41:48,715 --> 00:41:50,800
Hey! What a nice surprise!
926
00:41:50,967 --> 00:41:53,647
We thought the kids were here. We
didn't realize you guys were here.
927
00:41:53,845 --> 00:41:57,265
Oh, Cath and I were just having
a little prom night role-play.
928
00:41:57,432 --> 00:41:59,767
You know, to keep the sex life alive.
Prom night!
929
00:41:59,934 --> 00:42:02,270
Where are the kids? Um, do you
know where the kids are'?
930
00:42:02,437 --> 00:42:05,165
The kids are at Kyler
Montero's lake house.
931
00:42:05,189 --> 00:42:06,250
How do you know that?
932
00:42:06,274 --> 00:42:07,984
Because Austin told us. Yeah.
933
00:42:08,359 --> 00:42:11,195
He's texted me, like,
19 times tonight.
934
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,400
Ugh. Oh, my God. Yeah, we
tell each other everything.
935
00:42:13,489 --> 00:42:14,574
It's unbelievable.
936
00:42:14,741 --> 00:42:15,781
He knows about prom night.
937
00:42:15,867 --> 00:42:17,326
Well, you know.
I'm sorry, you...
938
00:42:17,493 --> 00:42:19,954
You tell your son about your
sex games with your wife?
939
00:42:20,121 --> 00:42:21,122
Uh-huh. Yeah.
940
00:42:21,998 --> 00:42:24,351
Can't do that. There's a line.
Yeah, it's weird.
941
00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:25,376
It's... It's weird.
942
00:42:25,501 --> 00:42:27,378
We have a very open family here.
943
00:42:27,545 --> 00:42:29,005
Yes, we do. We don't
hide anything.
944
00:42:29,172 --> 00:42:30,692
You know what, what
is Kyler's address?
945
00:42:30,716 --> 00:42:35,136
Okay, listen, I feel like I can't
betray Austin's confidence in me
946
00:42:35,303 --> 00:42:38,866
and frankly if Julie wanted to
tell you where the house was,
947
00:42:38,890 --> 00:42:40,034
she would've told you.
948
00:42:40,058 --> 00:42:42,351
Uh-uh. I got... Hold on, hold on.
Buh, buh, buh.
949
00:42:42,769 --> 00:42:43,853
Give us the address.
950
00:42:44,145 --> 00:42:46,345
Or my giant friend's gonna
tear your husband's dick off.
951
00:42:46,369 --> 00:42:47,207
Yeah.
952
00:42:47,231 --> 00:42:48,292
No, I'm not.
953
00:42:48,316 --> 00:42:49,317
No, I'm not. Excuse me?
954
00:42:49,442 --> 00:42:52,195
No, no, no. That's...
That's good.
955
00:42:52,361 --> 00:42:54,155
And, uh, sorry to
interrupt your evening.
956
00:42:54,322 --> 00:42:56,449
I hope you guys enjoy the
rest of your love-making.
957
00:42:56,908 --> 00:42:58,034
- Ah, fuck!
- Come on, man.
958
00:42:58,159 --> 00:42:59,319
- What was that about?
- What?
959
00:42:59,343 --> 00:43:01,180
Hey, man, thank you for
killing my daughter's hymen.
960
00:43:01,204 --> 00:43:03,081
I don't think so. Kyler
Montero's lake house?
961
00:43:03,247 --> 00:43:04,248
Marcie did the bathroom.
962
00:43:04,415 --> 00:43:06,876
She's gonna know the address.
So let's just go.
963
00:43:07,043 --> 00:43:08,669
All right, dope. Dope.
964
00:43:10,838 --> 00:43:12,298
Oh, my eyes! Yeah!
965
00:43:13,216 --> 00:43:14,509
Okay, come on in now.
966
00:43:14,675 --> 00:43:16,844
It's all fun and games until
there's a decapitation.
967
00:43:17,011 --> 00:43:19,305
I don't need any more dead
girls on my conscience.
968
00:43:19,472 --> 00:43:20,681
I'm sorry, Rudy!
969
00:43:20,848 --> 00:43:24,102
We just had to check that off
the old prom bucket list.
970
00:43:24,602 --> 00:43:26,521
Oh, my God! Sam!
971
00:43:26,687 --> 00:43:27,897
Come here. Yeah! Move, Chad!
972
00:43:28,064 --> 00:43:30,066
Chad, you want a drink? No.
973
00:43:30,233 --> 00:43:31,943
What you got there?
974
00:43:32,110 --> 00:43:35,655
This is a very, very special reduced
hash oil of my own invention.
975
00:43:35,822 --> 00:43:37,990
It has rosemary essence
for blood flow,
976
00:43:38,157 --> 00:43:41,244
a curcumin extract from turmeric
to reduce inflammation.
977
00:43:41,410 --> 00:43:43,472
And it gets you super baked.
978
00:43:43,496 --> 00:43:47,500
All right! Let's do it.
Do I just suck'?
979
00:43:47,667 --> 00:43:50,067
Yeah, you press the button and
you take, like, a little puff.
980
00:43:50,091 --> 00:43:53,965
Or a really, really big one.
Okay.
981
00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:56,384
And then you just hold
it for, like, a beat.
982
00:43:56,551 --> 00:43:59,137
You guys know that Tanner Dunn's
parents rented out a whole floor
983
00:43:59,303 --> 00:44:01,389
of the Park West Hotel
for an after-party?
984
00:44:01,556 --> 00:44:02,783
What?
985
00:44:02,807 --> 00:44:04,892
Um... Yeah... He, uh...
986
00:44:05,059 --> 00:44:07,419
I guess they're super loaded and
they're still proud of him,
987
00:44:07,586 --> 00:44:09,666
even though it took him,
like, six years to graduate.
988
00:44:09,713 --> 00:44:12,817
I remember him. He got to miss
school when his kid was born.
989
00:44:12,984 --> 00:44:13,985
Yeah, that guy.
990
00:44:14,569 --> 00:44:15,969
You should definitely
let it go now.
991
00:44:19,115 --> 00:44:20,324
Holy shit.
992
00:44:20,491 --> 00:44:24,453
Oh, yeah. I can run a six-minute mile.
My lung capacity is legit.
993
00:44:24,620 --> 00:44:26,455
No! One more selfie.
994
00:44:26,622 --> 00:44:28,022
And this time let's
pose like Kanye.
995
00:44:28,166 --> 00:44:29,292
No! Boo!
996
00:44:29,458 --> 00:44:31,436
Yes. You take too many pictures.
997
00:44:31,460 --> 00:44:33,504
They don't look like him.
998
00:44:34,088 --> 00:44:36,549
It's just a bunch of paint
samples and swatches.
999
00:44:36,716 --> 00:44:38,134
Hunter! Quiet!
1000
00:44:38,301 --> 00:44:39,343
Why do I have to be quiet?
1001
00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:41,429
Shit would not fly
if Marcie found out.
1002
00:44:41,596 --> 00:44:43,156
Who wears the pants
in this house, dawg?
1003
00:44:43,180 --> 00:44:44,181
- I do.
- Oh!
1004
00:44:47,894 --> 00:44:49,288
Mmm.
1005
00:44:49,312 --> 00:44:52,940
This is soy creamer, are you sure?
It's pretty freaking rich.
1006
00:44:53,107 --> 00:44:54,150
This is so messed up.
1007
00:44:54,317 --> 00:44:56,986
Who are you to get involved
in our daughter's sex life?
1008
00:44:57,153 --> 00:44:59,238
Honey, I was just trying...
No, don't "honey" me.
1009
00:44:59,405 --> 00:45:01,782
Did your dad try to stop you
when you lost your virginity?
1010
00:45:01,949 --> 00:45:02,950
That's totally different.
1011
00:45:03,075 --> 00:45:04,795
It is not different.
It's a double standard.
1012
00:45:04,827 --> 00:45:07,872
Oh, when a guy loses his virginity,
it's no big deal, it's celebrated,
1013
00:45:08,039 --> 00:45:10,625
but if a girl does, it's some
sort of big loss of innocence?
1014
00:45:10,791 --> 00:45:12,251
- Yes!
- But come on, you guys,
1015
00:45:12,418 --> 00:45:13,687
it's the same damn thing.
1016
00:45:13,711 --> 00:45:17,590
Marcie! Stop talking.
1017
00:45:17,757 --> 00:45:20,551
Just give us the address.
Just give us the address.
1018
00:45:20,885 --> 00:45:23,679
Honestly, Lisa, I can't
believe you're on their side.
1019
00:45:23,846 --> 00:45:27,141
"Side"? This is not some
philosophical debate.
1020
00:45:27,308 --> 00:45:30,561
We're trying to stop our daughters
from some kind of sex pact
1021
00:45:30,728 --> 00:45:33,522
that they've planned and not
thought through all the way.
1022
00:45:33,689 --> 00:45:34,774
That is such bullshit.
1023
00:45:35,316 --> 00:45:36,567
How do you expect society
1024
00:45:36,734 --> 00:45:39,278
to treat women as if they're equal
when their own parents won't?
1025
00:45:39,445 --> 00:45:41,280
I don't know about that.
1026
00:45:41,447 --> 00:45:44,700
I'll deal with society tomorrow. Right
now I'm thinking about my daughter.
1027
00:45:44,867 --> 00:45:47,328
Well, that's convenient.
Yeah. You know what?
1028
00:45:47,495 --> 00:45:48,775
Go ahead and be
part of the group
1029
00:45:48,913 --> 00:45:52,375
that perceives women as little damsels
in distress that need saving.
1030
00:45:52,541 --> 00:45:54,221
Who cares about us not
getting paid as much
1031
00:45:54,335 --> 00:45:56,504
or not having control
of our own bodies?
1032
00:45:56,671 --> 00:46:00,174
Can you please not talk to me like I'm
someone who bombs abortion olinios?
1033
00:46:00,341 --> 00:46:02,461
I think we're a little off-topic.
We need the address.
1034
00:46:02,510 --> 00:46:03,552
I just can't believe
1035
00:46:03,761 --> 00:46:06,931
that you think Julie shouldn't
be free to explore her sexuality
1036
00:46:07,098 --> 00:46:08,724
in the same way that boys are.
1037
00:46:08,891 --> 00:46:12,228
Girls and boys are
very different.
1038
00:46:12,395 --> 00:46:14,605
Guys will take whatever's
in front of them.
1039
00:46:15,564 --> 00:46:17,066
We have these feelings and then
1040
00:46:17,233 --> 00:46:21,362
your parents won't
let you see the man.
1041
00:46:21,529 --> 00:46:23,614
And then he just writes
a lot of letters
1042
00:46:23,781 --> 00:46:26,993
but you don't get them because
your mom doesn't give them to you
1043
00:46:27,159 --> 00:46:29,620
and then it starts
raining really hard
1044
00:46:29,787 --> 00:46:31,831
because he built
a house for you.
1045
00:46:33,624 --> 00:46:35,626
And then, it's...
1046
00:46:36,085 --> 00:46:37,437
Mitchell, did you
get the address?
1047
00:46:37,461 --> 00:46:38,522
- Yup!
- What?
1048
00:46:38,546 --> 00:46:39,690
I'm really sorry. I'll
call you tomorrow.
1049
00:46:39,714 --> 00:46:41,914
I'm just really stressed out.
It was so good to see you.
1050
00:46:41,938 --> 00:46:43,175
Was that The Notebook?
1051
00:46:43,342 --> 00:46:45,970
Fucking fuck off, Hunter!
God damn it! Mitchell!
1052
00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:48,617
I love you, I'm doing this for
our daughter, I'll be home late!
1053
00:46:48,641 --> 00:46:49,726
Shit!
1054
00:46:51,809 --> 00:46:53,996
To the loss of our innocence.
1055
00:46:54,020 --> 00:46:55,646
Whoo!
1056
00:46:58,649 --> 00:46:59,650
Oh!
1057
00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:01,360
Come on!
1058
00:47:01,777 --> 00:47:04,113
You guys! This is
the best night!
1059
00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:07,116
Iam so drunk, super high
1060
00:47:07,283 --> 00:47:10,911
and Connor has a little
something-something that I feel
1061
00:47:11,078 --> 00:47:12,163
I need to go check out.
1062
00:47:12,330 --> 00:47:14,582
All right. It's fuck o'clock.
1063
00:47:14,749 --> 00:47:16,542
- No way. You, too?
- Yep.
1064
00:47:18,252 --> 00:47:20,856
These are macarons... Ooh!
1065
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:24,175
With a very special concoction
of mine that I call Wavy Davy.
1066
00:47:24,342 --> 00:47:27,011
So it's DMT that I get
from the dark web.
1067
00:47:27,178 --> 00:47:29,096
And then there's a
little tiny bit of Xanax
1068
00:47:29,263 --> 00:47:31,807
to just kind of take the edge
off, you know. It's pretty tight.
1069
00:47:31,974 --> 00:47:33,559
Sounds pretty tight.
1070
00:47:33,726 --> 00:47:35,646
And then I bake it into a
white chocolate macaron
1071
00:47:35,670 --> 00:47:37,063
andithas, Hke, a
raspberry filling
1072
00:47:37,229 --> 00:47:40,983
that's both light and fluffy but
also very flavorful and satisfying.
1073
00:47:41,901 --> 00:47:43,003
Are you ready?
1074
00:47:43,027 --> 00:47:45,154
Uh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, let's do it.
1075
00:47:45,321 --> 00:47:47,823
Okay. Let's go.
1076
00:47:49,867 --> 00:47:51,219
Mmm.
1077
00:47:51,243 --> 00:47:52,763
It's yum.
1078
00:47:52,787 --> 00:47:53,829
Mmm.
1079
00:47:58,417 --> 00:47:59,710
So what do we do?
We just walk in
1080
00:47:59,877 --> 00:48:01,917
and flick the lights on and
off until the kids come?
1081
00:48:01,941 --> 00:48:04,465
Just act cool and young, and
maybe we'll just slip in.
1082
00:48:04,590 --> 00:48:05,883
Mitchell, untuck your shirt.
1083
00:48:06,050 --> 00:48:08,111
No, it's not that kind of shirt.
It looks stupid untucked.
1084
00:48:08,135 --> 00:48:10,221
Untuok your shirt. You look
like a youth minister.
1085
00:48:10,388 --> 00:48:11,865
Untuck your fucking shirt, man.
We're trying to look cool.
1086
00:48:11,889 --> 00:48:12,949
All right!
1087
00:48:12,973 --> 00:48:14,934
Whoa. Oh, Sorry, bro!
Sorry, guys.
1088
00:48:15,101 --> 00:48:17,019
Sorry. My friend's wasted.
1089
00:48:17,353 --> 00:48:18,413
Don't.
1090
00:48:18,437 --> 00:48:21,148
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey! No
adults are getting into my house.
1091
00:48:21,315 --> 00:48:22,858
Not on prom night.
Okay, not on prom.
1092
00:48:23,025 --> 00:48:25,778
We were just down the
street at another party
1093
00:48:25,945 --> 00:48:28,030
and then we just decided
to come up here
1094
00:48:28,197 --> 00:48:30,217
and hang with you guys. Uh...
1095
00:48:30,241 --> 00:48:31,242
No parents here, right?
1096
00:48:31,367 --> 00:48:32,427
Ah, thank God!
1097
00:48:32,451 --> 00:48:33,691
No, not except for you guys. No.
1098
00:48:34,161 --> 00:48:35,847
We're not... We don't...
1099
00:48:35,871 --> 00:48:36,932
Yeah, no.
1100
00:48:36,956 --> 00:48:37,957
Okay, so you're cops.
1101
00:48:40,918 --> 00:48:43,295
I got two DUls last year.
How could I be a cop?
1102
00:48:43,462 --> 00:48:44,672
The police?
1103
00:48:44,839 --> 00:48:46,173
Look at my untucked shirt.
1104
00:48:46,340 --> 00:48:48,676
You're literally the cop-lest
motherfucker I've ever seen.
1105
00:48:48,843 --> 00:48:51,429
You look like you got your hair
out in the baok of a squad oar.
1106
00:48:52,430 --> 00:48:54,807
- This is a regular men's haircut.
- Okay.
1107
00:48:54,974 --> 00:48:56,350
This is ridiculous.
1108
00:48:56,517 --> 00:48:58,310
All right, you're
minors, we're minors.
1109
00:48:58,477 --> 00:48:59,812
You're, like, 45 years old.
1110
00:48:59,979 --> 00:49:01,564
Fuck you. I was born in '77.
1111
00:49:01,689 --> 00:49:02,749
'87.
1112
00:49:02,773 --> 00:49:03,774
'94.
1113
00:49:04,442 --> 00:49:06,026
We're gonna drink with you guys.
1114
00:49:06,193 --> 00:49:08,988
Would cops drink with
underage kids? No.
1115
00:49:09,155 --> 00:49:11,133
Okay. What about a
little chugging contest?
1116
00:49:11,157 --> 00:49:12,450
Um...
1117
00:49:13,534 --> 00:49:15,202
Yeah. Bring it.
1118
00:49:16,454 --> 00:49:17,514
Okay, wait.
1119
00:49:17,538 --> 00:49:18,789
I gotta get the room ready.
1120
00:49:22,835 --> 00:49:23,961
Oh, wow!
1121
00:49:25,838 --> 00:49:27,318
You're really going
for it, aren't ya?
1122
00:49:27,342 --> 00:49:30,637
I saw this in the romantic comedy,
American Beauty. So good.
1123
00:49:31,469 --> 00:49:33,345
You watched the whole thing?
1124
00:49:38,058 --> 00:49:39,560
You know what this
candle does to me.
1125
00:49:39,727 --> 00:49:41,167
Is that the one that
gives you hives?
1126
00:49:41,191 --> 00:49:42,901
No, it's the good one. Oh, nice.
1127
00:49:46,609 --> 00:49:48,235
You look so hot right now.
1128
00:49:58,704 --> 00:50:00,372
Where are my chuggers at?
You ready?
1129
00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:02,625
Oh, right here. Let's go!
What, what!
1130
00:50:02,958 --> 00:50:04,019
KYLERI All right.
1131
00:50:04,043 --> 00:50:05,103
COOI.
1132
00:50:05,127 --> 00:50:06,188
Drop 'em.
1133
00:50:06,212 --> 00:50:07,213
Let's do it.
1134
00:50:09,173 --> 00:50:10,424
Wait, what?
1135
00:50:10,591 --> 00:50:12,426
Guys? We're lust
chugging, right?
1136
00:50:12,593 --> 00:50:13,677
Yeah, we're butt-chugging.
1137
00:50:13,844 --> 00:50:16,324
Yeah, you put the tube up your
butt and you funnel the beer in.
1138
00:50:16,348 --> 00:50:18,516
It fucks you up way
more, man, trust me.
1139
00:50:18,682 --> 00:50:20,482
Guys, butt-chugging? You got this.
You got it.
1140
00:50:20,506 --> 00:50:21,758
No, I'm tagging out. You're in.
1141
00:50:21,924 --> 00:50:22,937
What? Why me?
1142
00:50:23,103 --> 00:50:25,063
You've had a baby. Everything's
looser down there.
1143
00:50:25,105 --> 00:50:27,525
I didn't have a baby out of my butt.
Even I know that.
1144
00:50:27,691 --> 00:50:28,692
Mitchell.
1145
00:50:29,109 --> 00:50:31,820
Okay, this isn't a common
occurrence with me,
1146
00:50:31,987 --> 00:50:34,573
but I have had things
up there before.
1147
00:50:34,740 --> 00:50:36,575
Hmm? It's just all
about breathing.
1148
00:50:36,742 --> 00:50:39,995
So just breathe through
it, and accept it in.
1149
00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:41,640
I can't do it. I can't do it.
1150
00:50:41,664 --> 00:50:43,904
Hey! She's up there right now
with that dick-bag, Connor,
1151
00:50:44,071 --> 00:50:45,698
with his man bun and
that stupid smirk.
1152
00:50:45,865 --> 00:50:47,002
Think about this.
1153
00:50:48,504 --> 00:50:50,047
Wait. Connor?
1154
00:50:50,214 --> 00:50:52,424
You know... You know
Connor Aldrich, The Chef?
1155
00:50:53,300 --> 00:50:54,580
Why do they call him "The Chef"?
1156
00:50:54,677 --> 00:50:57,012
Oh. Maybe a big fan
of South Park?
1157
00:50:57,179 --> 00:50:58,180
"Hello, children."
1158
00:50:58,305 --> 00:51:00,307
No. No. He cooks drugs
into everything.
1159
00:51:00,599 --> 00:51:04,287
Everything! One time he made me
this, like, acid financier cake.
1160
00:51:04,311 --> 00:51:06,897
Oh! That shit was
to die for, man!
1161
00:51:07,064 --> 00:51:08,899
Like, literally, I
almost fucking died.
1162
00:51:09,066 --> 00:51:11,306
Yeah. Dude, if your daughter
had anything like that cake,
1163
00:51:11,330 --> 00:51:13,050
she might not remember
who you are tomorrow.
1164
00:51:14,321 --> 00:51:16,156
Give me the fucking tube.
1165
00:51:18,409 --> 00:51:19,469
Let's bone.
1166
00:51:19,493 --> 00:51:20,554
Wait, what?
1167
00:51:20,578 --> 00:51:23,539
Oh! Are you sure that this
is how you wanna do it?
1168
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,711
Yes, Chad. This is always
how I've imagined it.
1169
00:51:28,831 --> 00:51:31,231
Oh, you know, I'd rather leave
my shirt on, if that's sexier.
1170
00:51:31,255 --> 00:51:34,091
I need another drink.
1171
00:51:34,466 --> 00:51:35,467
Wait, wait, uh...
1172
00:51:37,928 --> 00:51:39,555
Can you lube it up
with something first?
1173
00:51:39,722 --> 00:51:41,056
Yeah, I'll just spit on it. No!
1174
00:51:41,223 --> 00:51:43,392
Why? Because I'm a man?
Get over yourself.
1175
00:51:43,559 --> 00:51:46,645
No, 'cause you're fucking gross
and your fucking saliva's gross.
1176
00:51:46,812 --> 00:51:48,689
I have lip gloss.
We got lip gloss.
1177
00:51:48,856 --> 00:51:50,024
Okay, fine. Shit.
1178
00:51:50,190 --> 00:51:51,233
I don't have lip gloss.
1179
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,040
All right, guys, let's
get those tubes in.
1180
00:51:53,068 --> 00:51:54,868
All right, I got the lip
gloss on there. Okay.
1181
00:51:54,892 --> 00:51:56,196
Okay, okay. All right.
1182
00:51:56,363 --> 00:51:57,364
Okay, ready?
1183
00:51:57,948 --> 00:51:59,009
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
1184
00:51:59,033 --> 00:52:00,117
- It's not in yet.
- Okay.
1185
00:52:00,284 --> 00:52:02,404
Chill. LISA: It's just gonna
be on the count of three.
1186
00:52:02,453 --> 00:52:04,053
You got this, dawg.
This is for your kid.
1187
00:52:04,220 --> 00:52:05,280
On three, okay. All right.
1188
00:52:05,304 --> 00:52:06,141
On three. Yeah.
1189
00:52:06,165 --> 00:52:07,458
- Okay, one...
- One.
1190
00:52:08,834 --> 00:52:10,520
Are you okay?
1191
00:52:10,544 --> 00:52:11,605
Okay, get your 40s.
1192
00:52:11,629 --> 00:52:12,921
They got a lager or an IPA.
1193
00:52:13,088 --> 00:52:14,408
It doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.
1194
00:52:14,432 --> 00:52:15,442
Okay.
1195
00:52:15,466 --> 00:52:16,818
I don't know about this.
No, no, no, no.
1196
00:52:16,842 --> 00:52:18,042
It's too late. It's already in.
1197
00:52:18,066 --> 00:52:19,377
Here you go. It's in you.
It's part of you now.
1198
00:52:19,401 --> 00:52:20,322
Ready? Yeah.
1199
00:52:20,346 --> 00:52:21,555
Set...
1200
00:52:21,722 --> 00:52:22,973
Chug!
1201
00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:24,516
Butt chug! Butt chug!
1202
00:52:24,683 --> 00:52:26,310
Butt chug! Butt chug!
1203
00:52:26,477 --> 00:52:27,561
Wait.
1204
00:52:27,728 --> 00:52:29,396
- Hey, hey!
- Loosen up!
1205
00:52:29,563 --> 00:52:31,190
It's not working, dude. I can't!
1206
00:52:31,357 --> 00:52:33,108
You can hold my hand! Okay.
1207
00:52:33,942 --> 00:52:35,962
- Ow!
- You're hurting her.
1208
00:52:35,986 --> 00:52:37,186
God! It really hurt! I'm sorry!
1209
00:52:38,405 --> 00:52:40,699
Channel that energy
into your butt hole.
1210
00:52:40,866 --> 00:52:42,242
This changes everything I know!
1211
00:52:42,409 --> 00:52:45,245
Dude, if your daughter could see
you now she'd be so proud of you.
1212
00:52:47,122 --> 00:52:48,248
Whoa...
1213
00:52:49,458 --> 00:52:52,586
lam... lam tripping so hard.
1214
00:52:52,753 --> 00:52:54,353
It's not working. It's
not working, dude.
1215
00:52:54,380 --> 00:52:56,423
- Oh, it's terrible.
- It is.
1216
00:52:57,549 --> 00:52:58,610
Open up!
1217
00:52:58,634 --> 00:53:00,386
I'm sorry. I can't do it, man.
1218
00:53:00,552 --> 00:53:01,887
Focus! For your daughter.
1219
00:53:02,054 --> 00:53:03,555
Fuck, Mitch. Focus.
1220
00:53:03,722 --> 00:53:05,402
You gotta breathe. You
gotta open up, dude.
1221
00:53:05,426 --> 00:53:07,142
Relax! I'm relaxed! I'm dilated.
1222
00:53:07,309 --> 00:53:09,728
I'm staring at your asshole.
You're not dilating.
1223
00:53:09,895 --> 00:53:13,440
Mitchell, you're gonna
lose to this punk bitch?
1224
00:53:13,607 --> 00:53:15,484
Breathe. Take it in!
1225
00:53:19,029 --> 00:53:20,030
There we go.
1226
00:53:20,406 --> 00:53:21,532
Okay, good. Oh!
1227
00:53:21,699 --> 00:53:23,283
It's working! It's working!
Holy shit!
1228
00:53:23,450 --> 00:53:24,743
Holy shit! It's working!
1229
00:53:24,910 --> 00:53:26,638
We're almost halfway done.
1230
00:53:26,662 --> 00:53:28,956
Pos! Fucking run!
1231
00:53:29,164 --> 00:53:30,332
Cops?
1232
00:53:30,499 --> 00:53:31,667
What? Oh, no!
1233
00:53:34,837 --> 00:53:36,898
Ass beer!
1234
00:53:36,922 --> 00:53:40,008
Lisa, the foam went into my mouth!
I have to go to the hospital!
1235
00:53:40,175 --> 00:53:42,070
Hurry up! Get out of here!
1236
00:53:42,094 --> 00:53:44,012
Shit!
1237
00:53:44,179 --> 00:53:45,723
We gotta go.
1238
00:53:45,889 --> 00:53:47,808
I got ass beer, I should
go to the hospital.
1239
00:53:47,975 --> 00:53:50,477
Shit! The fucking cops?
1240
00:53:50,644 --> 00:53:52,364
The fucking cops are here?
Wait, wait, wait.
1241
00:53:52,396 --> 00:53:54,189
I can't get the tube out.
Pull the tube out.
1242
00:53:54,356 --> 00:53:56,108
Leese, pull it out.
No! I put it in!
1243
00:53:56,275 --> 00:53:58,026
I had to spit on it! What?
You spit on it?
1244
00:53:58,152 --> 00:53:59,212
No, it was my lip gloss.
What the fuck?
1245
00:53:59,236 --> 00:54:00,396
It was lip gloss. Pull it out!
1246
00:54:00,487 --> 00:54:02,215
Hey, man, be gentle. Be
fucking gentle, all right?
1247
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:03,719
I'm gonna be gentle, all right?
Ready?
1248
00:54:03,782 --> 00:54:05,022
All right, on three. On three...
1249
00:54:05,117 --> 00:54:06,118
One. Ow!
1250
00:54:10,038 --> 00:54:11,099
Come on.
1251
00:54:11,123 --> 00:54:12,851
Hey, guys!
1252
00:54:12,875 --> 00:54:13,876
Guys!
1253
00:54:14,001 --> 00:54:15,294
Wait, wait. Sam.
1254
00:54:15,461 --> 00:54:16,462
Sam!
1255
00:54:16,962 --> 00:54:18,523
Sam, Sam! We're over here.
1256
00:54:18,547 --> 00:54:19,607
No!
1257
00:54:19,631 --> 00:54:20,692
No. No.
1258
00:54:20,716 --> 00:54:22,259
The night is over. No.
1259
00:54:22,426 --> 00:54:24,636
It's over. It's done.
1260
00:54:24,803 --> 00:54:26,513
The night is not over.
1261
00:54:27,264 --> 00:54:28,640
The night has just begun.
1262
00:54:33,353 --> 00:54:35,355
Jesus, Chad, use your legs.
1263
00:54:35,522 --> 00:54:37,922
I mean, I pretty much carried
her, like, the whole way there.
1264
00:54:46,575 --> 00:54:48,577
Hustle, hustle, hustle!
1265
00:54:49,787 --> 00:54:50,788
Come on, Sam.
1266
00:54:50,954 --> 00:54:52,122
Come with us! I can't.
1267
00:54:52,289 --> 00:54:53,332
My car is here.
1268
00:54:53,499 --> 00:54:56,001
But all my friends are
going to the hotel party.
1269
00:54:56,376 --> 00:54:57,419
Maybe I'll see you later.
1270
00:55:02,716 --> 00:55:04,635
- Get in the car. Go, go, go, girl!
- Sam!
1271
00:55:04,802 --> 00:55:06,863
You'll see her later!
Seriously, hurry up!
1272
00:55:06,887 --> 00:55:07,947
What are you doing?
1273
00:55:07,971 --> 00:55:09,851
Whoo, this night is not
over, I swear to Christ!
1274
00:55:09,973 --> 00:55:11,308
Dukes of Hazzard!
1275
00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:14,603
Racist-ass show anyway.
1276
00:55:14,770 --> 00:55:15,771
I got the spins, man.
1277
00:55:15,896 --> 00:55:17,176
We gotta find our
daughter, dawg.
1278
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:18,480
I'm gonna sit down for a second.
1279
00:55:18,504 --> 00:55:19,504
Rudy! It's Rudy.
1280
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:21,401
Rudy, Rudy, wait, wait!
1281
00:55:21,527 --> 00:55:23,654
There he goes! Hit the
clicker, open the door!
1282
00:55:24,822 --> 00:55:25,989
L got mine.
1283
00:55:26,114 --> 00:55:27,175
Seatbelts!
1284
00:55:27,199 --> 00:55:28,325
You'll get a big ticket.
1285
00:55:31,703 --> 00:55:32,764
That's them right there.
1286
00:55:32,788 --> 00:55:34,428
They're getting away.
You gotta go faster.
1287
00:55:34,452 --> 00:55:36,750
Okay. Hey, you gotta
be in it 110%.
1288
00:55:36,917 --> 00:55:38,377
Okay. You gotta be
in it to win it!
1289
00:55:38,544 --> 00:55:40,504
How do you get more competitive
when you're drunk?
1290
00:55:40,528 --> 00:55:43,298
Hey, man. I'm more of a winner
when I'm drunk, all right?
1291
00:55:43,465 --> 00:55:46,051
And the question that I
have for you, Leese...
1292
00:55:46,218 --> 00:55:48,637
Are you a winner? Are
you in it to win it?
1293
00:55:48,804 --> 00:55:50,722
Winning is my bitch! All right!
1294
00:55:50,889 --> 00:55:52,242
Strong. Knock, knock!
1295
00:55:52,266 --> 00:55:53,326
Who's there?
1296
00:55:53,350 --> 00:55:55,227
Me winning.
1297
00:55:57,271 --> 00:55:58,647
It's not...
1298
00:55:59,398 --> 00:56:00,482
It's not that good.
1299
00:56:02,442 --> 00:56:04,403
Ow. Ow! Lisa winning!
1300
00:56:04,570 --> 00:56:06,130
It's not that good!
1301
00:56:06,154 --> 00:56:09,116
Ow! Fuck! All right, it's good.
It's fine. I like it.
1302
00:56:09,283 --> 00:56:10,563
Hey, you're losing him.
Let's go.
1303
00:56:13,036 --> 00:56:15,163
Oh. Not on my watch.
1304
00:56:19,960 --> 00:56:22,880
Y'all think you gonna outrun Rudy
the main motherfucking man Glover?
1305
00:56:23,046 --> 00:56:24,047
Hell, no.
1306
00:56:24,172 --> 00:56:25,591
Are you all right? No.
1307
00:56:25,757 --> 00:56:26,842
Come on.
1308
00:56:28,927 --> 00:56:30,512
Hey, guys.
1309
00:56:31,179 --> 00:56:32,723
Hey, I don't...
1310
00:56:32,890 --> 00:56:35,517
I don't feel so...
1311
00:56:35,642 --> 00:56:36,643
Oh, my God!
1312
00:56:38,020 --> 00:56:39,021
Oh, my God!
1313
00:56:45,110 --> 00:56:46,590
All right, here's
what we're gonna do.
1314
00:56:46,614 --> 00:56:49,364
Lisa, I have seen every single
Fast and the Furious movie, okay?
1315
00:56:49,531 --> 00:56:51,825
All of them, dozens of times.
Have you seen any of them?
1316
00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:54,953
I saw the Tokyo one, and I saw the one
where The Rock punches the torpedo.
1317
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:56,371
Those are the best two to see.
1318
00:56:56,538 --> 00:56:59,708
Okay, in times like this, I
ask myself one question.
1319
00:56:59,875 --> 00:57:02,294
"W-W-V-D-D." You know
what that means?
1320
00:57:02,461 --> 00:57:03,629
"What would Vin Diesel do?"
1321
00:57:03,795 --> 00:57:05,255
Holy shit!
1322
00:57:05,422 --> 00:57:07,262
No one's ever fucking
gotten that before. Okay.
1323
00:57:11,970 --> 00:57:13,931
Oh, man, it smells like...
1324
00:57:15,265 --> 00:57:17,185
What we're gonna do, we're
gonna kiss the bumper.
1325
00:57:17,209 --> 00:57:19,712
You give it a little tap, and
then they're gonna spin and stop
1326
00:57:19,811 --> 00:57:21,331
and we're gonna spin
and stop the other way
1327
00:57:21,355 --> 00:57:23,515
and we're gonna look at each
other, and we're gonna go,
1328
00:57:23,539 --> 00:57:24,775
"lt's all about the family."
1329
00:57:24,942 --> 00:57:27,342
Wait. I don't feel comfortable
running the kids off the road.
1330
00:57:27,402 --> 00:57:31,239
This slow and un-furious attitude is
not helping us. You have to believe!
1331
00:57:31,406 --> 00:57:32,532
Okay. I'm gonna kiss it.
1332
00:57:32,699 --> 00:57:34,201
Here we go!
1333
00:57:35,661 --> 00:57:37,496
What's that? Did I do it?
1334
00:57:37,663 --> 00:57:40,248
No, you didn't even kiss it.
You gotta kiss it.
1335
00:57:40,415 --> 00:57:42,542
Kiss it for the family!
1336
00:57:43,043 --> 00:57:44,711
Is that Sam?
1337
00:57:46,838 --> 00:57:48,507
She barfed on us!
1338
00:57:48,674 --> 00:57:50,300
Oh, my God!
1339
00:58:06,191 --> 00:58:07,859
Okay.
1340
00:58:08,151 --> 00:58:09,736
Are we in heaven?
1341
00:58:09,903 --> 00:58:11,780
Okay. Listen, I know
how to do this.
1342
00:58:11,947 --> 00:58:14,157
Everyone lean backwards.
1343
00:58:14,324 --> 00:58:17,703
If we all lean backwards on three,
the car will roll back. Ready?
1344
00:58:17,869 --> 00:58:19,204
Okay. One,
1345
00:58:20,163 --> 00:58:21,665
two, three.
1346
00:58:22,666 --> 00:58:26,354
Oh, fuck!
1347
00:58:26,378 --> 00:58:28,672
Ahhh!
1348
00:58:32,384 --> 00:58:35,846
Well, that's the last
of the ass beer.
1349
00:58:36,096 --> 00:58:37,889
Jesus! That's it.
1350
00:58:38,056 --> 00:58:39,659
Are you okay? Are you bleeding?
1351
00:58:39,683 --> 00:58:41,203
You might have internal
blood injuries.
1352
00:58:41,268 --> 00:58:42,428
I'm all right, I'm all right.
1353
00:58:42,477 --> 00:58:43,538
Here's the problem.
1354
00:58:43,562 --> 00:58:46,148
The Fast and The Furious
movies are not realistic.
1355
00:58:46,314 --> 00:58:48,483
Where are we? Shit!
1356
00:58:49,484 --> 00:58:50,485
Fuck!
1357
00:58:51,987 --> 00:58:53,321
What are you doing?
1358
00:58:53,450 --> 00:58:56,050
I heard that in times of crisis,
parents have superhuman strength.
1359
00:58:56,074 --> 00:58:58,386
No offense, there's no scientific way
you're gonna flip that car over.
1360
00:58:58,410 --> 00:58:59,470
I couldn't even do that.
1361
00:58:59,494 --> 00:59:00,734
Yeah, I couldn't do it, either.
1362
00:59:00,758 --> 00:59:03,594
Do not tell me what
I can and can't do.
1363
00:59:07,335 --> 00:59:09,046
Kayla's not answering again.
1364
00:59:09,212 --> 00:59:10,412
God damn it! We lost 'em, guys.
1365
00:59:10,436 --> 00:59:12,897
We are fucked! Or maybe not.
1366
00:59:17,054 --> 00:59:18,114
What are you doing?
1367
00:59:18,138 --> 00:59:20,018
Trying to telepathically
communicate with Kayla.
1368
00:59:20,432 --> 00:59:21,632
I'm with the X-Men of parents.
1369
00:59:21,725 --> 00:59:23,005
You know what my
secret power is?
1370
00:59:23,060 --> 00:59:26,396
I'm super fucking annoyed right
now and I hurt my love handle.
1371
00:59:32,194 --> 00:59:33,195
All right.
1372
00:59:33,695 --> 00:59:35,822
You guys think my new
clothes go with my fedora?
1373
00:59:35,989 --> 00:59:37,991
I'm just kidding,
I know they do.
1374
00:59:43,497 --> 00:59:44,498
Hey.
1375
00:59:46,750 --> 00:59:48,168
Have you talked to your mom?
1376
00:59:48,293 --> 00:59:49,353
No.
1377
00:59:49,377 --> 00:59:51,046
So my parents were
just texting me
1378
00:59:51,213 --> 00:59:53,924
and they were having sex and your
mom showed up looking for you.
1379
00:59:55,884 --> 00:59:57,260
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
1380
00:59:57,427 --> 00:59:59,971
It's okay. They have
sex all the time.
1381
01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:03,391
Oh, my God, she... The texts.
1382
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:05,185
So many texts.
1383
01:00:05,727 --> 01:00:06,895
She's mad.
1384
01:00:07,104 --> 01:00:09,064
I need to handle this.
1385
01:00:09,231 --> 01:00:10,690
Good news. A Lyft is on its way.
1386
01:00:10,857 --> 01:00:12,692
Oh, wait, no, I know this guy.
He sucks.
1387
01:00:12,859 --> 01:00:14,319
Oh, shit. It's Julie.
1388
01:00:14,694 --> 01:00:16,113
Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.
Be cool.
1389
01:00:16,279 --> 01:00:17,340
Be quiet. Okay.
1390
01:00:17,364 --> 01:00:18,490
Hey, Mom!
1391
01:00:18,657 --> 01:00:19,717
I just got all your texts
1392
01:00:19,741 --> 01:00:21,861
and I just wanted to let you
know that we're all good.
1393
01:00:21,885 --> 01:00:23,095
Cool. Cool. Okay.
1394
01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:25,997
Um... Are you at the prom?
1395
01:00:26,248 --> 01:00:29,584
Yeah. Yeah, just nonstop
magical moments.
1396
01:00:29,751 --> 01:00:31,086
Huh. You are lying to me.
1397
01:00:31,253 --> 01:00:32,773
Where are you right now?
Where are you?
1398
01:00:32,879 --> 01:00:33,922
Why are you freaking out?
1399
01:00:34,089 --> 01:00:37,551
I'm freaking out because I
know what you're up to.
1400
01:00:37,717 --> 01:00:39,117
And I know that you
and your friends
1401
01:00:39,177 --> 01:00:43,074
are planning some kind of
little sex pact or whatever.
1402
01:00:43,098 --> 01:00:44,158
What did you say?
1403
01:00:44,182 --> 01:00:45,183
You heard me.
1404
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:47,811
How could you possibly know?
1405
01:00:47,978 --> 01:00:50,689
Because I am your
mother and I know you.
1406
01:00:50,856 --> 01:00:53,441
And I know you better
than you know yourself.
1407
01:00:53,608 --> 01:00:57,904
And I also know that you're
planning on going to UCLA
1408
01:00:58,071 --> 01:01:00,282
and that you're
following Austin.
1409
01:01:00,448 --> 01:01:01,741
Yeah.
1410
01:01:02,742 --> 01:01:06,413
I know everything.
1411
01:01:07,622 --> 01:01:11,001
Oh, my God, you know nothing!
1412
01:01:11,168 --> 01:01:13,587
Why do you even assume that
it's me following Austin?
1413
01:01:13,712 --> 01:01:17,174
Huh? You're not worried
about me, Mom.
1414
01:01:17,340 --> 01:01:18,633
You're worried about you.
1415
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,303
You're afraid of losing me.
You're afraid of being alone.
1416
01:01:21,469 --> 01:01:25,241
Iam not scared of being alone.
1417
01:01:25,265 --> 01:01:27,017
This is not about me.
1418
01:01:27,184 --> 01:01:31,605
I have not thought about
myself for the last 18 years.
1419
01:01:31,771 --> 01:01:33,148
This is about you.
1420
01:01:33,315 --> 01:01:35,066
And as a single mother,
1421
01:01:35,233 --> 01:01:39,154
lam trying to stop you from
making a life-ruining decision.
1422
01:01:40,822 --> 01:01:42,949
So I was "a
life-ruining decision"?
1423
01:01:43,116 --> 01:01:44,117
No. No!
1424
01:01:44,242 --> 01:01:45,911
No, that is not what I meant.
1425
01:01:46,020 --> 01:01:47,180
No, that is not what I meant.
1426
01:01:47,204 --> 01:01:48,598
You know what, Mom?
1427
01:01:48,622 --> 01:01:51,249
I'm not going to UCLA
because of some boy, okay?
1428
01:01:51,416 --> 01:01:55,462
I'm going to UCLA because it's
the furthest I can get from you.
1429
01:01:57,380 --> 01:01:58,757
Well...
1430
01:01:58,924 --> 01:02:00,342
Hello?
1431
01:02:02,344 --> 01:02:04,846
Nanaru is on his way.
1432
01:02:05,013 --> 01:02:06,139
Forty-six minutes.
1433
01:02:08,016 --> 01:02:09,267
Well...
1434
01:02:09,559 --> 01:02:11,478
So, she hates me.
1435
01:02:13,730 --> 01:02:15,607
She doesn't hate you.
1436
01:02:16,149 --> 01:02:19,444
Kayla's ignoring me. She's bringing
it to a whole new level of spite.
1437
01:02:19,694 --> 01:02:21,112
Yeah.
1438
01:02:21,279 --> 01:02:22,864
That's a new level of pain.
1439
01:02:23,031 --> 01:02:24,866
Yeah. I know.
1440
01:02:25,033 --> 01:02:28,370
It's just different for me
because I gave birth to her
1441
01:02:28,536 --> 01:02:30,247
and I just feel very connected.
1442
01:02:30,413 --> 01:02:31,957
She was living in my body.
1443
01:02:32,123 --> 01:02:33,416
Kayla grew in me.
1444
01:02:33,583 --> 01:02:34,876
She grew in me. She did.
1445
01:02:35,043 --> 01:02:37,671
She grew from my balls and
I shot her into Marcie.
1446
01:02:37,837 --> 01:02:40,131
This is the same for you and me.
1447
01:02:41,424 --> 01:02:42,759
Not exactly.
1448
01:02:42,926 --> 01:02:45,679
I mean, you have daily
love in your life
1449
01:02:45,845 --> 01:02:48,848
and I'm probably gonna die alone
1450
01:02:49,015 --> 01:02:51,351
and won't be found for
a really long time.
1451
01:02:51,935 --> 01:02:54,104
Until one day, someone
will be walking by
1452
01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:55,647
with their golden retriever,
1453
01:02:55,814 --> 01:02:57,691
and the dog is just
gonna lose its shit.
1454
01:02:57,857 --> 01:02:59,337
And then they're gonna
call the police
1455
01:02:59,361 --> 01:03:03,321
and then they're gonna come in
and find me draped over the tub
1456
01:03:03,488 --> 01:03:07,284
with my feral cats
eating away at my hair.
1457
01:03:07,450 --> 01:03:08,660
'Cause cats do that.
1458
01:03:09,327 --> 01:03:12,163
The fuck is wrong with you?
That is some dark shit!
1459
01:03:12,330 --> 01:03:13,540
You're gonna die alone?
1460
01:03:13,707 --> 01:03:16,626
Whoa, whoa. My man! Come on! Where
the hell did you get that idea?
1461
01:03:16,793 --> 01:03:18,044
I call you all the time.
1462
01:03:18,211 --> 01:03:19,754
You ever return my calls? No.
1463
01:03:19,921 --> 01:03:21,756
Because we're not really
friends, you and me.
1464
01:03:22,299 --> 01:03:23,359
We're not friends?
1465
01:03:23,383 --> 01:03:24,926
I don't mean it at that...
1466
01:03:25,385 --> 01:03:26,720
You know what you are?
1467
01:03:26,886 --> 01:03:30,390
You are like the thing that
pops up on Facebook...
1468
01:03:30,765 --> 01:03:36,313
And then it's, like, this beautiful
picture of your grandma who's dead.
1469
01:03:36,479 --> 01:03:40,025
And you're, like, "Fuck you, Facebook,
for reminding me of my loss."
1470
01:03:40,191 --> 01:03:42,819
That's why you're avoiding me?
Because I remind you of loss?
1471
01:03:42,986 --> 01:03:47,657
Yes! I don't wanna be reminded of
sweet, young Julie and our kids
1472
01:03:47,824 --> 01:03:49,951
and that beautiful time
in our lives is over.
1473
01:03:50,118 --> 01:03:53,330
Oh, God! Boo-fucking-hoo
with you two!
1474
01:03:53,496 --> 01:03:56,166
You guys completely ignore me.
Always.
1475
01:03:56,291 --> 01:03:57,351
Yeah, no shit, cheater.
1476
01:03:57,375 --> 01:03:59,044
Oh, "Cheater"? That's
my designation?
1477
01:03:59,210 --> 01:04:01,087
That's what I am?
I'm the cheater?
1478
01:04:01,254 --> 01:04:02,339
Fuck that shit.
1479
01:04:02,505 --> 01:04:04,966
Did you guys ever once call
me when that went down
1480
01:04:05,133 --> 01:04:07,385
and ask me my side of the story?
1481
01:04:07,552 --> 01:04:08,803
You didn't.
1482
01:04:08,970 --> 01:04:10,170
I would've told you the truth.
1483
01:04:10,194 --> 01:04:12,682
I would've told you that Brenda
had stopped talking to me
1484
01:04:12,849 --> 01:04:14,726
months before that happened.
1485
01:04:14,893 --> 01:04:18,396
Do you know she hooked up with her boss
at a company retreat in Wisconsin?
1486
01:04:18,563 --> 01:04:19,647
Do you know she beat me up?
1487
01:04:19,814 --> 01:04:23,777
She fucking beat me up at a
Romano's fucking Macaroni Grill!
1488
01:04:23,943 --> 01:04:26,196
She fucking slapped me in front
of the fucking maTtre'd!
1489
01:04:26,363 --> 01:04:27,723
I didn't know that.
I'm sorry, man.
1490
01:04:27,747 --> 01:04:29,240
And I fucking embarrassed myself
1491
01:04:29,407 --> 01:04:31,868
and I embarrassed myself
in front of my daughter.
1492
01:04:32,035 --> 01:04:34,704
And I thought, "You know, I
should pull back a little bit,"
1493
01:04:34,871 --> 01:04:35,991
and fucking Frank showed up.
1494
01:04:36,456 --> 01:04:37,707
And I pulled back more
1495
01:04:37,874 --> 01:04:39,584
and I thought, "One day
I'm gonna fix it."
1496
01:04:39,751 --> 01:04:41,378
"One day I'm gonna
fucking fix it."
1497
01:04:41,544 --> 01:04:46,299
And then I thought if I gave her
something awesome like a great night...
1498
01:04:48,468 --> 01:04:51,846
I could get close with
her again, but I can't.
1499
01:04:55,725 --> 01:04:58,144
'Cause she's gone.
They're just...
1500
01:04:58,478 --> 01:04:59,479
The kids,
1501
01:05:00,063 --> 01:05:01,064
they just leave. Oh, shit!
1502
01:05:01,231 --> 01:05:03,274
I know how we can find 'em.
1503
01:05:03,441 --> 01:05:04,692
Go to Cathy and Ron's.
1504
01:05:04,859 --> 01:05:06,319
Austin's been texting
them all night.
1505
01:05:07,070 --> 01:05:08,550
Did you hear anything
I said just now?
1506
01:05:08,574 --> 01:05:09,574
That's a great idea.
1507
01:05:09,739 --> 01:05:11,449
Fuck it. It's just good
to say it out loud.
1508
01:05:11,616 --> 01:05:12,867
Let's go flip that car.
1509
01:05:13,034 --> 01:05:14,035
Hell...
1510
01:05:14,911 --> 01:05:16,996
Jesus Christ!
1511
01:05:18,081 --> 01:05:20,750
Oh, my fucking God!
1512
01:05:22,293 --> 01:05:23,545
Shit!
1513
01:05:24,087 --> 01:05:26,214
My car just exploded.
1514
01:05:29,134 --> 01:05:33,221
Nanaru is 26 minutes away.
So that's good.
1515
01:05:33,388 --> 01:05:34,472
I thought I canceled him.
1516
01:05:34,639 --> 01:05:35,807
Thanks, Nanaru.
1517
01:05:35,974 --> 01:05:38,852
So Austin's parents aren't gonna
just tell us where they are.
1518
01:05:39,018 --> 01:05:41,020
So we need to get Ron's phone,
1519
01:05:41,187 --> 01:05:43,982
read the texts, and find our kids.
Okay?
1520
01:05:44,149 --> 01:05:46,025
Hunter, it's not gonna be you.
1521
01:05:46,192 --> 01:05:47,527
So, Mitchell, it's you.
1522
01:05:47,694 --> 01:05:49,904
No. That's breaking and entering.
That is...
1523
01:05:50,071 --> 01:05:51,448
I'm uncomfortable with that.
1524
01:05:51,614 --> 01:05:53,199
Are you a team player,
or aren't you?
1525
01:05:53,366 --> 01:05:54,367
Am I a team player?
1526
01:05:54,534 --> 01:05:56,828
I just chugged a 40 with my asshole.
I'm a team player.
1527
01:05:56,995 --> 01:05:58,455
Then get your head in the game.
1528
01:05:58,621 --> 01:06:00,123
It's the bottom of the third.
1529
01:06:00,290 --> 01:06:03,585
We are down by one and there
is not a lot of game left.
1530
01:06:05,003 --> 01:06:06,363
There is a lot of
game left though.
1531
01:06:06,387 --> 01:06:10,808
Listen. You have one pass left.
One. One pass.
1532
01:06:11,676 --> 01:06:12,719
Is it rugby? ls it
1533
01:06:12,844 --> 01:06:14,029
Australian rules football? They
don't put a limit on passing.
1534
01:06:14,053 --> 01:06:15,531
If it was the third, then
I'd have the fourth.
1535
01:06:15,555 --> 01:06:16,991
You know what? You know
what's happening right now?
1536
01:06:17,015 --> 01:06:18,695
Let me tell you what's
happening right now,
1537
01:06:18,719 --> 01:06:21,060
is Kayla and Connor
are sliding into bed.
1538
01:06:21,227 --> 01:06:22,312
He's grabbing a condom
1539
01:06:22,479 --> 01:06:24,522
and then he's flicking
it to the side
1540
01:06:24,689 --> 01:06:26,316
with a smirk on his face.
1541
01:06:26,566 --> 01:06:29,319
That fucking smirk. No way.
1542
01:06:29,486 --> 01:06:32,280
We need a Hail Mary pass.
Are you up for that, son?
1543
01:06:32,447 --> 01:06:33,807
Yes, Coach. Well,
I can't hear you.
1544
01:06:33,907 --> 01:06:35,492
Yes, Coach. I'm in it!
I can't hear you.
1545
01:06:35,658 --> 01:06:36,993
I can fucking do this! Let's go!
1546
01:06:37,160 --> 01:06:38,369
We gotta be quiet.
1547
01:06:43,458 --> 01:06:44,667
Careful.
1548
01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:51,424
All right, go.
1549
01:06:51,925 --> 01:06:52,926
Go.
1550
01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:20,328
Did you...
1551
01:07:28,503 --> 01:07:30,797
Go. There's a person!
1552
01:07:30,964 --> 01:07:32,507
What? Fuck you.
1553
01:07:34,050 --> 01:07:35,677
Jesus Christ.
1554
01:07:48,231 --> 01:07:51,150
I'm gonna get you!
1555
01:07:51,651 --> 01:07:55,446
Not if I get you first.
1556
01:08:02,787 --> 01:08:03,847
Get away from here.
1557
01:08:03,871 --> 01:08:04,932
I'm fucking out!
1558
01:08:04,956 --> 01:08:06,416
Mitchell, in! Get in.
1559
01:08:08,334 --> 01:08:09,395
Cam'?
1560
01:08:09,419 --> 01:08:10,670
Ron, no talking.
1561
01:08:10,962 --> 01:08:11,963
Come on, we had a deal.
1562
01:08:12,130 --> 01:08:15,341
We have to find each other by
sensing each other's musks.
1563
01:08:15,508 --> 01:08:16,926
Can't use our voices.
1564
01:08:36,279 --> 01:08:37,572
Here, kitty, kitty.
1565
01:08:37,739 --> 01:08:39,407
I can smell that musk.
1566
01:08:47,415 --> 01:08:48,475
Yeah!
1567
01:08:48,499 --> 01:08:51,478
Yeah! Yeah! I like
the sound of that!
1568
01:08:51,502 --> 01:08:52,795
Oh!
1569
01:08:53,046 --> 01:08:54,773
On! Hey!
1570
01:08:54,797 --> 01:08:57,467
You wanna touch first,
that works for Ronnie!
1571
01:08:57,634 --> 01:08:58,676
You want me to touch you?
1572
01:08:58,843 --> 01:09:00,603
Help yourself. Yes. You
want me to touch you?
1573
01:09:00,627 --> 01:09:02,430
I'm gonna touch you. Hard.
1574
01:09:02,555 --> 01:09:03,755
Do it. How about I touch you...
1575
01:09:03,779 --> 01:09:05,326
Do it. With my nails, baby?
1576
01:09:05,350 --> 01:09:07,435
Let's have it! Oh!
1577
01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:10,563
Your hair is so sexy, babe. Oh,
your grip is unbelievable.
1578
01:09:10,730 --> 01:09:13,483
L want you to touch
me where I like.
1579
01:09:13,650 --> 01:09:15,568
My balls. You know?
1580
01:09:30,249 --> 01:09:32,919
I want it bad. Do it, come on!
Really? How bad?
1581
01:09:41,886 --> 01:09:44,347
Let's go. Come on.
Come on, do it!
1582
01:09:44,514 --> 01:09:46,307
You there? What, this
isn't hard enough?
1583
01:09:46,474 --> 01:09:47,600
Let's go. Come on.
1584
01:09:47,767 --> 01:09:49,310
- Harder?
- Come on, do it.
1585
01:09:49,477 --> 01:09:50,478
Do it, I'm waiting.
1586
01:09:50,645 --> 01:09:51,646
Okeydoke.
1587
01:09:52,355 --> 01:09:54,208
Oh, yeah, you like that?
1588
01:09:54,232 --> 01:09:56,526
Hey, man, I don't judge
people's sex shit.
1589
01:09:56,818 --> 01:09:58,236
But that was
ridiculous and stupid.
1590
01:09:58,403 --> 01:09:59,763
Way to take one for
the team, guys.
1591
01:09:59,787 --> 01:10:01,364
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Here it is.
1592
01:10:01,531 --> 01:10:03,199
"The police came to
the lake house."
1593
01:10:03,366 --> 01:10:05,636
"Almost lost my flower but
didn't quite work out."
1594
01:10:05,660 --> 01:10:06,720
"Flower"?
1595
01:10:06,744 --> 01:10:07,805
He said that? He's a boy.
1596
01:10:07,829 --> 01:10:10,164
Buh, buh, buh... "Heading
to the Park West Hotel."
1597
01:10:10,331 --> 01:10:11,708
"We've got the Grand Lux Suite."
1598
01:10:11,874 --> 01:10:14,395
"Looks like the little
boy is becoming a man."
1599
01:10:14,419 --> 01:10:15,479
Fucking dork.
1600
01:10:15,503 --> 01:10:16,647
Okay, so that was
10 minutes ago.
1601
01:10:16,671 --> 01:10:17,791
So they haven't had sex yet.
1602
01:10:17,815 --> 01:10:18,816
We can still catch them.
1603
01:10:18,840 --> 01:10:20,633
Okay, let's do this.
1604
01:11:05,845 --> 01:11:06,905
Hey.
1605
01:11:06,929 --> 01:11:08,264
Hey. Hey.
1606
01:11:08,431 --> 01:11:10,016
How's she doing? Ls she okay?
1607
01:11:10,183 --> 01:11:11,934
No, she's not doing okay.
She's bummed.
1608
01:11:12,101 --> 01:11:14,437
She doesn't even wanna kiss.
And I love kissing.
1609
01:11:16,481 --> 01:11:18,149
Give me your room key.
1610
01:11:18,316 --> 01:11:19,317
What? Why? Yeah.
1611
01:11:19,442 --> 01:11:22,862
Give me your room key and then
bring her up in, like, 15 minutes.
1612
01:11:23,279 --> 01:11:24,840
Uh, okay.
1613
01:11:24,864 --> 01:11:27,784
Yes. Thanks. You're the man.
Thank you for this.
1614
01:11:35,041 --> 01:11:37,761
How we supposed to find them in this place?
It's got, like, 20 rooms.
1615
01:11:37,835 --> 01:11:40,755
I'm sorry, what the fuck
are you talking about?
1616
01:11:40,922 --> 01:11:43,925
"Twenty"? It's got, like, 200!
What? Twenty?
1617
01:11:44,091 --> 01:11:46,219
Grand Lux Suite is
on the top floor.
1618
01:11:46,385 --> 01:11:47,595
Go, go, go! Move!
1619
01:11:47,762 --> 01:11:48,763
Hurry, Lisa!
1620
01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:53,202
What am I doing here?
1621
01:13:12,263 --> 01:13:13,806
On, my God!
1622
01:13:13,973 --> 01:13:15,850
Oh, my God, my favorite!
1623
01:13:16,601 --> 01:13:18,370
That's so sweet.
1624
01:13:18,394 --> 01:13:20,980
Oh, my God! This is a dream!
1625
01:13:21,147 --> 01:13:24,609
It's, like, perfect! That is so nice!
You're so sweet.
1626
01:13:24,775 --> 01:13:27,820
It actually wasn't me.
It was Kayla.
1627
01:13:27,987 --> 01:13:29,587
She wanted you to have
the perfect night.
1628
01:13:29,614 --> 01:13:30,734
That's why it looks so good.
1629
01:13:30,823 --> 01:13:32,033
Well,
1630
01:13:32,199 --> 01:13:33,594
why do you look so good?
1631
01:13:33,618 --> 01:13:35,453
You're such a dork.
1632
01:13:35,620 --> 01:13:37,204
I know.
1633
01:13:39,832 --> 01:13:41,083
On, my God!
1634
01:13:45,922 --> 01:13:47,632
Not as smooth as I could have.
1635
01:13:52,053 --> 01:13:53,346
Let me get my shoes.
1636
01:13:57,600 --> 01:13:58,684
Kayla?
1637
01:14:04,941 --> 01:14:06,400
Nobody move, where's Kayla?
1638
01:14:06,567 --> 01:14:07,568
Kayla?
1639
01:14:07,860 --> 01:14:08,861
Kayla?
1640
01:14:09,862 --> 01:14:11,948
Get that outta here.
1641
01:14:12,114 --> 01:14:13,634
Um, how's this work?
No, just leave it.
1642
01:14:13,658 --> 01:14:15,201
Okay, cool. Mmm-hmm.
It's difficult.
1643
01:14:18,329 --> 01:14:20,039
Play sports!
1644
01:14:26,796 --> 01:14:27,797
And that's that.
1645
01:14:29,048 --> 01:14:31,008
So, you sure you wanna do this?
1646
01:14:31,175 --> 01:14:32,176
Yeah.
1647
01:14:32,343 --> 01:14:33,719
Yes! Fuck, yeah.
1648
01:14:33,886 --> 01:14:35,596
You're gonna penis me.
1649
01:14:35,721 --> 01:14:36,782
Yeah.
1650
01:14:36,806 --> 01:14:38,349
First I'm gonna...
1651
01:14:38,516 --> 01:14:39,725
I'm just gonna touch it.
1652
01:14:39,892 --> 01:14:41,572
You wanna touch it?
Yeah, you can touch it.
1653
01:14:41,596 --> 01:14:43,390
Yeah, yeah, go for it.
Okay, just, like...
1654
01:14:43,646 --> 01:14:45,374
Oh! Wow!
1655
01:14:45,398 --> 01:14:49,443
Okay. That is like the greatest feeling
I've ever had in my entire life.
1656
01:14:49,610 --> 01:14:50,945
Really?
1657
01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:55,157
It doesn't just feel like a
super-dry hand of a friend?
1658
01:14:55,324 --> 01:14:56,867
No. Nope.
1659
01:14:58,202 --> 01:14:59,745
Okay. So,
1660
01:15:00,538 --> 01:15:01,998
do you wanna.
1661
01:15:03,499 --> 01:15:04,500
Put it in?
1662
01:15:07,962 --> 01:15:08,963
No.
1663
01:15:09,463 --> 01:15:10,524
Okay.
1664
01:15:10,548 --> 01:15:11,882
I can't. I'm sorry.
You know what?
1665
01:15:12,299 --> 01:15:14,427
Look, we don't...
1666
01:15:14,593 --> 01:15:16,095
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
1667
01:15:16,262 --> 01:15:17,847
Holy shit! Look at all of it.
1668
01:15:18,014 --> 01:15:19,890
Oh, my gosh! I gotta get over.
1669
01:15:20,391 --> 01:15:23,728
Okay. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
1670
01:15:23,894 --> 01:15:26,439
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry,
I'm so sorry. I just...
1671
01:15:26,605 --> 01:15:27,925
It's okay. I was
thinking about it
1672
01:15:27,982 --> 01:15:29,734
and you, and then it just...
1673
01:15:29,900 --> 01:15:30,943
I'm sorry.
1674
01:15:34,613 --> 01:15:35,614
You're amazing.
1675
01:15:36,157 --> 01:15:37,658
I know we're still virgins,
1676
01:15:38,117 --> 01:15:40,202
but I feel different. You know?
1677
01:15:40,369 --> 01:15:41,412
Yeah.
1678
01:15:43,205 --> 01:15:44,707
I know.
1679
01:15:47,209 --> 01:15:49,837
You ready to, uh, do this?
1680
01:15:51,047 --> 01:15:52,107
Wait.
1681
01:15:52,131 --> 01:15:53,549
Wait. Um...
1682
01:15:54,759 --> 01:15:57,219
Ah, Shit.
1683
01:15:57,386 --> 01:15:58,554
Shit.
1684
01:16:01,098 --> 01:16:03,017
Maybe Julie was right.
1685
01:16:03,350 --> 01:16:04,560
Like, maybe
1686
01:16:04,727 --> 01:16:08,189
losing your virginity doesn't
have to be perfect, but...
1687
01:16:08,355 --> 01:16:11,942
I feel like it should just be, like,
a little bit more special than this.
1688
01:16:12,109 --> 01:16:13,611
Yeah. Like, not cheesy, but...
1689
01:16:14,153 --> 01:16:16,030
Like, if I was
hard-pressed right now,
1690
01:16:16,197 --> 01:16:18,699
I don't think I could
remember your last name.
1691
01:16:18,866 --> 01:16:19,867
It's Aldrich. Aldrich!
1692
01:16:20,451 --> 01:16:21,744
I thought it was Ostrich.
1693
01:16:21,911 --> 01:16:25,289
I didn't realize that you're a virgin.
You know?
1694
01:16:25,456 --> 01:16:26,457
Yeah.
1695
01:16:26,957 --> 01:16:30,377
Um, but, like, I'd
still be down to do it
1696
01:16:30,544 --> 01:16:31,921
but maybe, like, you know,
1697
01:16:32,088 --> 01:16:33,848
when we get to know each
other a little more.
1698
01:16:33,881 --> 01:16:36,318
Like, maybe Monday or something?
1699
01:16:36,342 --> 01:16:37,402
Yeah.
1700
01:16:37,426 --> 01:16:38,786
Not to, like, plan
it and be weird.
1701
01:16:38,953 --> 01:16:41,098
No, no, l can look at my
schedule and see if it's...
1702
01:16:41,122 --> 01:16:41,823
Okay.
1703
01:16:41,847 --> 01:16:43,349
Pencil it in.
1704
01:16:44,266 --> 01:16:45,935
Um, yeah, that's cool.
Okay, cool.
1705
01:16:46,102 --> 01:16:49,146
Let's just relax. We could do some
light journaling or something.
1706
01:16:49,355 --> 01:16:52,441
Yeah, yeah, we could do that.
1707
01:16:53,192 --> 01:16:57,530
Or we could do,
like, other stuff.
1708
01:16:57,696 --> 01:16:59,031
Yeah, like what?
1709
01:16:59,198 --> 01:17:00,699
Like...
1710
01:17:01,408 --> 01:17:03,619
Not sex, but...
1711
01:17:04,995 --> 01:17:08,457
I'm still down for pleasure.
1712
01:17:15,548 --> 01:17:16,966
You got this.
1713
01:17:17,133 --> 01:17:19,635
Hey, guys, what's up?
Anyone seen Sam?
1714
01:17:19,802 --> 01:17:21,387
Anyone seen Sam?
1715
01:17:26,684 --> 01:17:27,810
Chad!
1716
01:17:34,316 --> 01:17:35,317
Oh, Jesus!
1717
01:17:37,486 --> 01:17:39,005
What the...
1718
01:17:39,029 --> 01:17:40,090
You again?
1719
01:17:40,114 --> 01:17:41,282
You? What the fuck?
1720
01:17:41,448 --> 01:17:42,783
What's your beef with me, dude?
1721
01:17:42,950 --> 01:17:44,270
I don't know who
the fuck you are!
1722
01:17:44,294 --> 01:17:46,120
I'm Jake motherfucking Donahue!
1723
01:17:46,287 --> 01:17:48,122
That name means nothing to me!
1724
01:17:48,289 --> 01:17:51,667
Do you know what it's like to be
humiliated in front of everyone you know
1725
01:17:51,834 --> 01:17:53,627
and have to seek
redemption for that?
1726
01:17:55,171 --> 01:17:56,714
Actually, yes, I do!
1727
01:17:56,881 --> 01:17:58,299
Kayla?
1728
01:17:58,465 --> 01:17:59,884
Kayla?
1729
01:18:00,050 --> 01:18:01,510
Kayla?
1730
01:18:01,677 --> 01:18:04,077
Get the hell away from my daughter,
you little piece of shit!
1731
01:18:04,101 --> 01:18:05,478
Dad, what the...
1732
01:18:06,265 --> 01:18:07,325
Oh, my God!
1733
01:18:07,349 --> 01:18:08,949
Are you okay? He didn't
hurt you, did he?
1734
01:18:09,018 --> 01:18:10,352
What? No, he didn't hurt me.
1735
01:18:10,519 --> 01:18:12,396
Holy shit! Connor?
1736
01:18:12,563 --> 01:18:14,148
Oh, my God! Are you okay?
1737
01:18:14,315 --> 01:18:15,774
I'm actually totally fine.
1738
01:18:16,317 --> 01:18:17,317
Connor, I'm so sorry.
1739
01:18:17,401 --> 01:18:19,612
Are you okay, though?
Are you sure? Yeah.
1740
01:18:20,237 --> 01:18:21,614
Dad! What the...
1741
01:18:21,780 --> 01:18:22,841
What are you doing here?
1742
01:18:22,865 --> 01:18:24,259
I've been following
you around all night!
1743
01:18:24,283 --> 01:18:25,343
Are you set... Oh, my Gem!
1744
01:18:25,367 --> 01:18:26,493
You've been following me?
1745
01:18:26,660 --> 01:18:28,162
Are you crazy? You
gave me no choice!
1746
01:18:28,329 --> 01:18:29,849
You're in over your
head with this kid.
1747
01:18:29,873 --> 01:18:32,249
Iam not some pathetic damsel
in distress that needs saving.
1748
01:18:32,416 --> 01:18:33,776
I can handle myself.
No, you can't.
1749
01:18:33,800 --> 01:18:35,252
Yes, I can! No, you can't!
1750
01:18:35,419 --> 01:18:36,795
Yes, I can! Kayla,
1751
01:18:37,171 --> 01:18:40,090
you can't. And
that's why I'm here.
1752
01:18:40,299 --> 01:18:41,300
It's my job.
1753
01:18:43,093 --> 01:18:44,178
Oh.
1754
01:18:44,803 --> 01:18:49,350
Yeah, so you just don't think I can make
my own decisions and handle myself.
1755
01:18:50,726 --> 01:18:52,686
That really fucking sucks.
1756
01:18:55,814 --> 01:18:57,942
Kayla...
1757
01:18:58,984 --> 01:19:01,612
Kayla, I'm just trying to
figure this thing out.
1758
01:19:02,363 --> 01:19:04,657
God! Why is sex even bad?
1759
01:19:09,787 --> 01:19:12,027
I don't know. I don't know. It's not...
You know, it's...
1760
01:19:14,083 --> 01:19:15,584
I don't know.
1761
01:19:16,585 --> 01:19:17,920
I'm...
1762
01:19:18,837 --> 01:19:21,423
I'm just trying to be
the best dad I can be.
1763
01:19:21,590 --> 01:19:24,009
Well, you are.
1764
01:19:24,885 --> 01:19:27,179
You taught me everything.
1765
01:19:27,429 --> 01:19:30,015
You built me up.
1766
01:19:30,182 --> 01:19:32,476
Made me strong.
1767
01:19:32,643 --> 01:19:35,604
You made me into who I am.
Like, that's...
1768
01:19:37,106 --> 01:19:40,109
You did not have to
save me tonight, Dad.
1769
01:19:40,276 --> 01:19:43,737
You taught me how to do
that a long time ago.
1770
01:19:45,739 --> 01:19:47,074
And I love you for it.
1771
01:19:49,535 --> 01:19:51,537
You're the best coach ever.
1772
01:19:56,875 --> 01:19:59,003
Thank you. Thank you.
1773
01:19:59,586 --> 01:20:01,088
Oh, Dad, come on.
1774
01:20:02,298 --> 01:20:03,841
Come on, toughen up.
1775
01:20:05,551 --> 01:20:07,136
It was just really
nice, what you said.
1776
01:20:08,178 --> 01:20:10,180
It's good. It's good. I mean it.
1777
01:20:11,015 --> 01:20:12,766
Thanks, I feel like...
1778
01:20:12,933 --> 01:20:16,979
Like Phil Jackson when he
was coaching the Bulls...
1779
01:20:17,146 --> 01:20:20,774
And then they were so good.
1780
01:20:22,443 --> 01:20:23,986
That's how I feel right now.
Yeah.
1781
01:20:24,737 --> 01:20:26,822
Uh, I should've taken
my socks off first.
1782
01:20:29,938 --> 01:20:33,138
I'm just warning you, I've practiced a few
times but this might not go that well.
1783
01:20:33,162 --> 01:20:34,204
That doesn't look right.
1784
01:20:34,371 --> 01:20:35,724
Yeah, all right. I think
you need another one.
1785
01:20:35,748 --> 01:20:37,028
I think we need
another one, too.
1786
01:20:37,052 --> 01:20:37,875
Wait, wait.
1787
01:20:38,042 --> 01:20:39,543
We have to do our dance.
1788
01:20:39,710 --> 01:20:41,396
We have to... Yeah, yeah.
What, now?
1789
01:20:41,420 --> 01:20:42,480
Naked?
1790
01:20:42,504 --> 01:20:44,423
No, get me one of
those, um, hotel robes.
1791
01:20:44,590 --> 01:20:45,758
I wanna feel fabulous.
1792
01:20:45,924 --> 01:20:46,925
Okay.
1793
01:20:47,301 --> 01:20:48,469
Coming right up, my lady.
1794
01:21:04,193 --> 01:21:06,945
We're gonna christen every
corner of this room.
1795
01:21:07,112 --> 01:21:08,113
And when we're done,
1796
01:21:08,697 --> 01:21:10,032
let's FaceTime my parents.
1797
01:21:10,199 --> 01:21:13,869
Okay, but right now, I want
you to stare into my eyes.
1798
01:21:14,036 --> 01:21:15,079
What?
1799
01:21:15,454 --> 01:21:18,624
Mmm-hmm. I just want,
like, a real connection.
1800
01:21:18,791 --> 01:21:20,791
So you just want me to look
straight into your eyes
1801
01:21:20,815 --> 01:21:23,567
for the next three minutes and 37 seconds?
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
1802
01:21:32,638 --> 01:21:33,639
Look at me.
1803
01:22:50,340 --> 01:22:51,401
Dad? Where is he?
1804
01:22:51,425 --> 01:22:52,485
What are you doing here?
1805
01:22:52,509 --> 01:22:53,510
Chad?
1806
01:22:53,635 --> 01:22:55,179
Hey, Chad, you motherfucker.
1807
01:22:55,345 --> 01:22:57,473
Oh, my God, are you kidding me?
1808
01:22:57,639 --> 01:22:59,519
Did he make you do something
you don't wanna do?
1809
01:22:59,686 --> 01:23:02,126
'Cause I don't care if he's the
fucking coolest kid in school.
1810
01:23:02,272 --> 01:23:05,564
I'm gonna shove his fedora so
far up his ass, it'll be a hat.
1811
01:23:05,731 --> 01:23:08,400
No, Dad, we didn't do it.
1812
01:23:08,567 --> 01:23:12,946
All right? And even if we did, it
would be none of your business.
1813
01:23:16,742 --> 01:23:19,453
It's just, I was
worried about you.
1814
01:23:19,786 --> 01:23:20,829
Well, that's a first.
1815
01:23:22,247 --> 01:23:23,248
I deserve that.
1816
01:23:24,583 --> 01:23:26,864
Sam, I gotta tell you something
and I'm just gonna say it.
1817
01:23:36,637 --> 01:23:39,223
Sam, I have realized
1818
01:23:39,431 --> 01:23:41,767
over the last few years
1819
01:23:43,185 --> 01:23:45,229
that I've made a big
mistake in my life.
1820
01:23:46,188 --> 01:23:47,523
What, like cheating on my mom?
1821
01:23:48,732 --> 01:23:50,484
Well, no. Marrying your mom.
1822
01:23:50,776 --> 01:23:52,861
But, no, that wasn't a mistake,
1823
01:23:53,028 --> 01:23:55,155
because then I wouldn't
have had you. Uh...
1824
01:23:56,365 --> 01:24:00,494
I've made lots of mistakes,
but the big mistake
1825
01:24:02,120 --> 01:24:06,750
is that I let what happened
between your mom and I
1826
01:24:07,793 --> 01:24:10,379
get in the way of
our relationship.
1827
01:24:14,716 --> 01:24:15,717
I'm sorry.
1828
01:24:17,135 --> 01:24:18,428
And I hope that
1829
01:24:18,595 --> 01:24:20,639
we can start over and
1830
01:24:21,807 --> 01:24:24,309
build up our relationship
again because
1831
01:24:25,269 --> 01:24:27,437
you're my only kid.
1832
01:24:28,981 --> 01:24:30,148
And I'm your only dad.
1833
01:24:30,691 --> 01:24:32,818
Well, Frank is... Fuck Frank.
1834
01:24:37,030 --> 01:24:38,448
Frank's fine.
1835
01:24:39,241 --> 01:24:40,826
Dad,
1836
01:24:41,201 --> 01:24:42,411
can I tell you something now?
1837
01:24:42,578 --> 01:24:44,913
Yes. Yes, yes, yes, anything.
1838
01:24:45,789 --> 01:24:46,999
I'm a lesbian.
1839
01:24:57,134 --> 01:24:58,510
What does your mom think?
1840
01:24:58,677 --> 01:24:59,720
She doesn't know.
1841
01:25:04,933 --> 01:25:06,476
You told me before
you told your mom?
1842
01:25:06,643 --> 01:25:07,686
Yeah.
1843
01:25:07,853 --> 01:25:08,937
That's big news.
1844
01:25:09,396 --> 01:25:10,772
She doesn't know?
1845
01:25:11,648 --> 01:25:13,233
You didn't tell Frank? No.
1846
01:25:23,201 --> 01:25:24,953
Ah.
1847
01:25:25,078 --> 01:25:27,497
Okay. Over. Crying is over.
1848
01:25:28,778 --> 01:25:30,018
What do your girlfriends think?
1849
01:25:30,042 --> 01:25:31,793
No, I'm too nervous,
I can't tell them.
1850
01:25:32,085 --> 01:25:34,463
You're nervous to
tell Kayla and Julie?
1851
01:25:35,380 --> 01:25:37,257
I don't wanna lose
my two best friends.
1852
01:25:37,424 --> 01:25:39,551
This is the stuff you tell
the people you care about.
1853
01:25:40,093 --> 01:25:42,554
You think they're not gonna
support you because you're gay?
1854
01:25:42,721 --> 01:25:45,932
They would support you
if you were a vampire.
1855
01:25:46,099 --> 01:25:50,121
They would support you more.
With all the Twilight shit.
1856
01:25:50,145 --> 01:25:51,480
Do we Still like Twilight?
1857
01:25:51,647 --> 01:25:52,707
Definitely not.
1858
01:25:52,731 --> 01:25:53,940
No, no.
1859
01:25:55,609 --> 01:25:56,610
Oh, God.
1860
01:25:58,153 --> 01:25:59,780
Thanks for showing up.
1861
01:26:00,656 --> 01:26:03,784
Really. But you
should probably leave
1862
01:26:03,950 --> 01:26:07,829
because it's insane that you even
came here in the first place.
1863
01:26:09,456 --> 01:26:10,832
I'd love to get a
picture with you.
1864
01:26:11,333 --> 01:26:12,459
Yeah.
1865
01:26:12,626 --> 01:26:14,294
Great. Okay.
1866
01:26:14,753 --> 01:26:15,962
Just gonna stand on this.
1867
01:26:16,129 --> 01:26:18,173
Yeah, you know the drill.
Come on.
1868
01:26:18,340 --> 01:26:20,133
Come on. Here we go.
1869
01:26:20,425 --> 01:26:22,719
Gotta turn it around here.
1870
01:26:25,847 --> 01:26:28,100
Dad, you're not taking it.
1871
01:26:30,602 --> 01:26:32,020
What?
1872
01:26:33,105 --> 01:26:35,440
I'll remember this.
1873
01:26:35,899 --> 01:26:37,067
Come on.
1874
01:26:37,234 --> 01:26:38,735
Oh, my God!
1875
01:26:39,403 --> 01:26:40,404
What's up, dawg?
1876
01:26:40,529 --> 01:26:45,283
So, I just, uh, parented
the shit outta Sam.
1877
01:26:45,951 --> 01:26:47,077
And I feel, uh...
1878
01:26:47,703 --> 01:26:49,413
Oh, God, like, uh,
1879
01:26:49,746 --> 01:26:51,498
pride, I think? That's it.
1880
01:26:51,665 --> 01:26:52,666
It's new.
1881
01:26:53,417 --> 01:26:54,918
Good for you, man. Thanks.
1882
01:26:55,085 --> 01:26:56,336
Well done, my friend. Thank you.
1883
01:26:56,461 --> 01:26:57,522
Well done.
1884
01:26:57,546 --> 01:26:59,005
How'd it go with Kayla?
1885
01:26:59,673 --> 01:27:00,713
Put Connor through a wall.
1886
01:27:01,425 --> 01:27:02,527
Are you serious?
1887
01:27:02,551 --> 01:27:04,136
Yeah. He's okay.
1888
01:27:04,302 --> 01:27:06,179
Yeah, he's lighter
than I thought.
1889
01:27:07,055 --> 01:27:08,432
Hey.
1890
01:27:08,598 --> 01:27:09,599
Hi.
1891
01:27:09,766 --> 01:27:11,309
So, Julie's, um...
1892
01:27:12,102 --> 01:27:13,729
Julie's having sex right now.
1893
01:27:13,895 --> 01:27:16,148
Okay. And sit down. Wowee.
1894
01:27:16,314 --> 01:27:17,566
Yeah.
1895
01:27:17,733 --> 01:27:18,734
But it's good.
1896
01:27:18,900 --> 01:27:21,528
It's fine, right? I mean, you
have to do that eventually.
1897
01:27:21,695 --> 01:27:22,755
Right?
1898
01:27:22,779 --> 01:27:24,197
Are you good? Yeah.
1899
01:27:24,364 --> 01:27:27,617
They seem like they really like each other
and that's nice. That's a good thing,
1900
01:27:27,784 --> 01:27:30,328
but it's just a little,
you know, scary,
1901
01:27:30,495 --> 01:27:34,374
because what if he doesn't know how
to do it right? You know, like,
1902
01:27:34,541 --> 01:27:36,209
what if he doesn't
know where to put it.
1903
01:27:36,306 --> 01:27:38,146
But he knows, right?
Should I go back up there?
1904
01:27:38,170 --> 01:27:39,890
No! No, no, no, no. No,
he'll figure it out.
1905
01:27:40,005 --> 01:27:41,006
It's one or the other.
1906
01:27:41,339 --> 01:27:42,883
Nope. Stay right here.
1907
01:27:43,925 --> 01:27:45,469
Do you wanna have a
drink right now?
1908
01:27:47,137 --> 01:27:48,430
Like, hang out?
1909
01:27:48,597 --> 01:27:49,598
Yeah.
1910
01:27:50,348 --> 01:27:51,725
Yes, I do.
1911
01:27:51,892 --> 01:27:53,935
I'm in. I'm definitely in.
1912
01:27:54,644 --> 01:27:56,706
Um, we will be having some
shots of alcohol, please.
1913
01:27:56,730 --> 01:27:57,790
Yes, we will.
1914
01:27:57,814 --> 01:27:58,940
This is crazy.
1915
01:28:00,609 --> 01:28:01,735
Well, I'm gonna, uh...
1916
01:28:02,652 --> 01:28:05,572
I'll let you guys have your
fun, and l will, uh...
1917
01:28:06,072 --> 01:28:08,116
I'm... I'm gonna see
you guys around.
1918
01:28:13,622 --> 01:28:14,623
Hey!
1919
01:28:16,708 --> 01:28:17,709
You, too.
1920
01:28:19,711 --> 01:28:20,712
Yeah.
1921
01:28:21,463 --> 01:28:22,756
Right!
1922
01:28:22,923 --> 01:28:24,257
Fuck, yeah!
1923
01:28:24,424 --> 01:28:25,634
Pifia colada.
1924
01:28:25,801 --> 01:28:27,302
Just get him a shot.
1925
01:28:29,012 --> 01:28:30,347
Cheers!
1926
01:28:30,472 --> 01:28:31,532
What a night, guys.
1927
01:28:31,556 --> 01:28:32,766
That's beautiful.
1928
01:28:35,894 --> 01:28:40,440
So, I don't think the kid at the lake
house was actually butt-chugging.
1929
01:28:40,607 --> 01:28:41,608
Definitely. Yeah.
1930
01:28:41,775 --> 01:28:42,984
What? Yeah.
1931
01:28:43,151 --> 01:28:45,529
And so he threw me
through a table...
1932
01:28:45,695 --> 01:28:47,906
- I'm so sorry.
- No, it was cool.
1933
01:28:48,073 --> 01:28:49,993
I kinda feel fine. It's cool.
All right, see you.
1934
01:28:50,017 --> 01:28:51,017
See you.
1935
01:28:51,117 --> 01:28:52,117
Hey, guys.
1936
01:28:52,202 --> 01:28:54,579
- Austin, uh, let's go get a drink, man.
- Yeah, sure.
1937
01:28:54,913 --> 01:28:55,973
Want a fry?
1938
01:28:55,997 --> 01:28:57,249
So badly.
1939
01:28:59,584 --> 01:29:01,294
Can I have a fry, too?
1940
01:29:01,711 --> 01:29:03,255
Yeah! Yes.
1941
01:29:04,256 --> 01:29:05,590
So?
1942
01:29:06,633 --> 01:29:08,426
I couldn't go through with it.
1943
01:29:08,593 --> 01:29:11,304
Yeah, l didn't. No.
1944
01:29:15,100 --> 01:29:16,560
Holy shit.
1945
01:29:16,726 --> 01:29:17,978
You're a woman amongst girls.
1946
01:29:18,144 --> 01:29:19,938
Julie! Congratu-fuck-ulations.
1947
01:29:20,105 --> 01:29:21,207
Thank you. How was it?
1948
01:29:21,231 --> 01:29:22,291
Honestly,
1949
01:29:22,315 --> 01:29:25,694
it was a little painful, kinda
fast, and kinda awkward...
1950
01:29:26,236 --> 01:29:27,320
But absolutely perfect.
1951
01:29:27,654 --> 01:29:28,738
AW!
1952
01:29:30,156 --> 01:29:32,993
You guys, so much
went down tonight.
1953
01:29:33,159 --> 01:29:34,160
I know. Including...
1954
01:29:35,120 --> 01:29:36,121
Connor!
1955
01:29:36,288 --> 01:29:38,266
No! Let's just say...
1956
01:29:38,290 --> 01:29:42,043
The Chef went out
to eat my pussy.
1957
01:29:43,378 --> 01:29:44,629
It was good.
1958
01:29:44,754 --> 01:29:48,049
DJ Chad. Ls that Chad?
1959
01:29:48,216 --> 01:29:49,342
That's Chad. That's Chad.
1960
01:29:49,509 --> 01:29:50,802
Chad!
1961
01:29:50,969 --> 01:29:52,637
Scream my name Yes, Chad!
1962
01:29:52,762 --> 01:29:53,763
Fuck yeah, Chad!
1963
01:29:53,889 --> 01:29:54,931
I love me.
1964
01:29:55,098 --> 01:29:57,994
Gonna love myself No, I
don't need anybody else.
1965
01:29:58,018 --> 01:29:59,078
Hey.
1966
01:29:59,102 --> 01:30:01,581
Gonna love myself No, I
don't need anybody else
1967
01:30:01,605 --> 01:30:02,647
I love me...
1968
01:30:09,738 --> 01:30:11,018
Guys, I gotta tell
you something.
1969
01:30:11,156 --> 01:30:12,157
Okay.
1970
01:30:16,328 --> 01:30:17,388
Really?
1971
01:30:17,412 --> 01:30:18,580
Yeah. Wait, you are?
1972
01:30:19,205 --> 01:30:20,373
Yeah.
1973
01:30:20,999 --> 01:30:23,001
I love you. Forever.
1974
01:30:24,085 --> 01:30:25,253
And you, too.
1975
01:30:25,462 --> 01:30:27,005
Oh, my God!
1976
01:30:27,130 --> 01:30:28,190
I love you.
1977
01:30:28,214 --> 01:30:29,275
Sam!
1978
01:30:29,299 --> 01:30:30,425
Excuse me.
1979
01:30:30,592 --> 01:30:31,952
I can't believe you
didn't tell us!
1980
01:30:31,976 --> 01:30:33,154
Y I ay...
1981
01:30:33,178 --> 01:30:34,346
Ta-da-da-da! Aw.
1982
01:30:37,557 --> 01:30:38,558
Oh, hey! Hey.
1983
01:30:38,725 --> 01:30:40,060
Hey! Hi.
1984
01:30:40,852 --> 01:30:41,954
Oh.
1985
01:30:41,978 --> 01:30:44,856
Uh, Julie, I think we got
something over here.
1986
01:30:47,025 --> 01:30:48,151
Dope cape.
1987
01:30:51,154 --> 01:30:54,908
I'm not misreading things.
1988
01:31:19,599 --> 01:31:21,935
So you'll call me every day
till you get to L.A., right?
1989
01:31:22,102 --> 01:31:23,812
Yeah, and then, like,
every day after that.
1990
01:31:23,979 --> 01:31:26,022
Okay. I'm gonna
miss you so much.
1991
01:31:26,356 --> 01:31:27,899
You're gonna be okay, though.
1992
01:31:28,274 --> 01:31:29,335
Are you gonna be okay?
1993
01:31:29,359 --> 01:31:32,779
Yeah, I'm fine. It's the
weirdest thing because
1994
01:31:32,946 --> 01:31:37,617
I have been worried about
this day for 18 years.
1995
01:31:37,784 --> 01:31:39,285
And then
1996
01:31:39,452 --> 01:31:43,206
I wake up this morning and...
Nothing.
1997
01:31:43,373 --> 01:31:47,085
Like, I don't feel emotional at all.
I just feel like...
1998
01:31:47,252 --> 01:31:50,547
It's so bizarre. What is that?
1999
01:31:50,714 --> 01:31:52,465
It's, like, splashing on me.
I know.
2000
01:31:52,632 --> 01:31:54,426
Isn't that so strange? Yeah.
2001
01:31:57,429 --> 01:31:58,555
I love you, Mom.
2002
01:31:59,347 --> 01:32:00,640
I love you.
2003
01:32:03,143 --> 01:32:04,519
No, I have money. Like...
2004
01:32:04,686 --> 01:32:06,563
Lisa, tell him I can afford...
Mmm.
2005
01:32:07,063 --> 01:32:08,815
Sorry, sorry.
2006
01:32:08,982 --> 01:32:10,859
All right, come on.
2007
01:32:11,026 --> 01:32:13,153
Let's get this
road trip started!
2008
01:32:13,319 --> 01:32:14,362
I love you.
2009
01:32:15,739 --> 01:32:16,823
Okay.
2010
01:32:16,990 --> 01:32:18,992
Hold on. Let me take a video.
2011
01:32:29,377 --> 01:32:31,254
- I love you.
- I love you.
2012
01:32:31,421 --> 01:32:32,964
Bye, Mom.
2013
01:32:33,840 --> 01:32:35,109
- I love you. Muah.
- Okay, bye.
2014
01:32:35,133 --> 01:32:37,093
See ya. Drop Julie off in Cali
2015
01:32:37,260 --> 01:32:39,238
and then you and Kayla come right
back home, and text, please.
2016
01:32:39,262 --> 01:32:40,805
- That's a big maybe.
- Please.
2017
01:32:40,972 --> 01:32:42,599
Hey, take care of my mom, you two.
Okay?
2018
01:32:42,766 --> 01:32:44,286
- We will. All right.
- Later, big guy.
2019
01:32:44,310 --> 01:32:45,202
I'm going to college!
2020
01:32:45,226 --> 01:32:47,413
Drive careful, young man.
That's precious cargo.
2021
01:32:47,437 --> 01:32:49,314
I love you!
2022
01:32:50,523 --> 01:32:51,584
Aww.
2023
01:32:51,608 --> 01:32:52,668
Come on. Guys.
2024
01:32:52,692 --> 01:32:54,194
- Come on. We did it.
- We did it.
2025
01:32:55,236 --> 01:32:56,946
We did it. We parented.
2026
01:32:57,113 --> 01:32:58,782
We did it. We did it.
2027
01:33:01,701 --> 01:33:03,536
Oop! It's Julie.
2028
01:33:03,703 --> 01:33:07,499
Oh, I must have been accidentally
added to the group conversation.
2029
01:33:07,665 --> 01:33:09,334
Oh, well, should probably leave.
2030
01:33:09,501 --> 01:33:11,353
"Can't believe we're
on our own now."
2031
01:33:11,377 --> 01:33:12,545
Aw, that's sweet. Yeah.
2032
01:33:12,670 --> 01:33:14,214
"We're gonna get lit af."
2033
01:33:15,006 --> 01:33:17,717
"Lit AF." That's not great.
2034
01:33:17,884 --> 01:33:20,470
No, that's... They're gonna get literature.
African literature.
2035
01:33:20,637 --> 01:33:21,822
You think that's what "lit AF" means?
You think
2036
01:33:21,846 --> 01:33:23,646
they're talking to each other about...
Lit AF.
2037
01:33:23,670 --> 01:33:24,849
"Can The Chef get us..."
2038
01:33:25,183 --> 01:33:26,303
Trees? What the hell's trees?
2039
01:33:26,351 --> 01:33:28,351
Trees mean weed, I told you that.
Mushrooms. Pills.
2040
01:33:28,478 --> 01:33:30,647
No, the pills are Kayla's allergy.
That's Claritin.
2041
01:33:30,814 --> 01:33:32,941
It's not Claritin. Look, snowflakes.
That's blow.
2042
01:33:33,108 --> 01:33:35,735
"Hashtag, no parents, no rules.
Hashtag, mad drugs.
2043
01:33:35,902 --> 01:33:38,446
"Hashtag, no condoms"?
2044
01:33:38,738 --> 01:33:39,906
Why would they hashtag that?
2045
01:33:40,073 --> 01:33:42,158
Wait, is that a needle
and an eggplant?
2046
01:33:42,659 --> 01:33:45,370
What, are they gonna inject
heroin into some guy's dick'?
2047
01:33:45,495 --> 01:33:46,695
Let's go. Let's get in the car.
2048
01:33:46,719 --> 01:33:48,197
I'll drive. I'm
sitting behind you.
2049
01:33:48,221 --> 01:33:49,958
Wait, wait, wait!
2050
01:33:50,125 --> 01:33:52,127
We're just messing with you!
Ha-ha!
2051
01:33:53,503 --> 01:33:55,421
"We love you guys, don't worry."
2052
01:33:56,798 --> 01:33:59,860
You guys were so pranked!
I was in on it.
2053
01:33:59,884 --> 01:34:00,945
You didn't know.
2054
01:34:00,969 --> 01:34:02,196
No, no, I did. I didn't know
it was coming right now.
2055
01:34:02,220 --> 01:34:03,580
That's why I kinda
sold it so well.
2056
01:34:03,746 --> 01:34:05,466
But it doesn't matter.
You guys were like...
2057
01:34:05,623 --> 01:34:06,766
"Holy Shit!"
2058
01:34:07,183 --> 01:34:08,476
Yeah.
2059
01:34:26,786 --> 01:34:28,079
Damn it, Mitchell!
2060
01:34:28,621 --> 01:34:29,622
Marco?
2061
01:34:30,999 --> 01:34:32,000
Polo.
2062
01:34:33,626 --> 01:34:35,628
Mitchell, are you
getting a snack?
2063
01:34:37,422 --> 01:34:40,466
I'm so glad we can do stuff like
this now that Kayla's in college.
2064
01:34:40,633 --> 01:34:42,844
I have no idea where you are.
2065
01:34:43,052 --> 01:34:45,906
I'm gonna do so much stuff
to you when I find you.
2066
01:34:45,930 --> 01:34:47,449
Oh. Oh.
2067
01:34:47,473 --> 01:34:48,558
Marco. Polo.
2068
01:34:48,850 --> 01:34:49,976
Ah! Ah! Polo!
2069
01:34:50,143 --> 01:34:51,703
I can't believe it,
it took you forever!
2070
01:34:51,727 --> 01:34:53,438
I spent so much
time on the stairs!
2071
01:34:53,605 --> 01:34:55,805
We're doing this. I know.
We're, like, totally doing it.
2072
01:34:55,829 --> 01:34:57,869
Let's just get crazy. I don't know!
It's hot. VVhoo!
2073
01:34:57,998 --> 01:35:00,778
I want you to grab my balls,
like Ron likes it, like hard.