1 00:00:43,393 --> 00:00:48,393 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:50,697 --> 00:00:51,996 It's okay. 3 00:00:51,998 --> 00:00:53,764 You're gonna love it. 4 00:00:54,864 --> 00:00:58,029 Happy first day of school. 5 00:00:58,031 --> 00:00:59,894 Bye, sweetie. 6 00:00:59,896 --> 00:01:02,729 - Hi! - Hi. 7 00:01:02,731 --> 00:01:04,662 Hey. I'm Sam. 8 00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:06,329 Hi. I'm Julie. 9 00:01:07,931 --> 00:01:09,861 - Bye. - Bye, Mom. 10 00:01:11,763 --> 00:01:13,263 I'm Hunter. 11 00:01:13,265 --> 00:01:14,629 Sam's mine right there. 12 00:01:14,631 --> 00:01:15,929 The one with the glasses. 13 00:01:15,931 --> 00:01:17,295 I'm Lisa. 14 00:01:17,297 --> 00:01:19,562 That's my Julie. 15 00:01:19,564 --> 00:01:21,332 I'm Mitchell. 16 00:01:22,463 --> 00:01:24,561 Kayla's hero. 17 00:01:24,563 --> 00:01:26,363 Oh, are you okay? 18 00:01:26,365 --> 00:01:27,894 - Yeah, yeah. - You crying? 19 00:01:27,896 --> 00:01:29,961 No, man, it's a... big day, that's all. 20 00:01:29,963 --> 00:01:31,729 - Yeah. - You know, can I have a tissue, please? 21 00:01:31,731 --> 00:01:32,595 - Yeah, yeah. - Thank you. 22 00:01:32,597 --> 00:01:34,328 - It's a big day for all of us. - Yeah. 23 00:01:34,330 --> 00:01:35,461 Thanks. 24 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:38,561 Come on, let's go! 25 00:01:38,563 --> 00:01:39,929 I think our daughters are friends. 26 00:01:39,931 --> 00:01:41,363 - I'm so excited! - Me, too. 27 00:01:41,365 --> 00:01:43,828 And I think that means we're friends. 28 00:01:46,830 --> 00:01:48,995 Should we go get a drink? 29 00:01:48,997 --> 00:01:50,363 You okay? 30 00:01:50,365 --> 00:01:51,661 - Yeah. - Yeah. 31 00:01:51,663 --> 00:01:53,695 - Yeah. - Do you guys want to go get a drink? 32 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,762 Just... Ah, they made it. 33 00:01:55,764 --> 00:01:57,595 You guys want to go grab a drink real quick? 34 00:01:57,597 --> 00:01:59,695 Is he asking us if we want to go grab a drink? 35 00:01:59,697 --> 00:02:01,263 I'm really hoping it's coffee. 36 00:02:01,265 --> 00:02:04,862 ♪ Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah... ♪ 37 00:02:07,463 --> 00:02:09,995 ♪ Is it a dream keeping you awake? ♪ 38 00:02:11,463 --> 00:02:12,895 - Aah! That's so... - Shut the fuck up. 39 00:02:12,897 --> 00:02:14,929 ♪ Is it the stillness ♪ 40 00:02:14,931 --> 00:02:16,962 - Happy Halloween! - ♪ That makes you shake? ♪ 41 00:02:18,397 --> 00:02:20,029 I can see Russia from my house. 42 00:02:20,031 --> 00:02:21,695 - Red Vines! - Red Vines! 43 00:02:21,697 --> 00:02:23,395 Red Vines! 44 00:02:23,397 --> 00:02:25,495 ♪ What's on the ocean's floor... ♪ 45 00:02:27,631 --> 00:02:28,829 That's right! 46 00:02:31,796 --> 00:02:34,328 Hey, hey, Hunter, get out, man. 47 00:02:35,931 --> 00:02:37,995 Put your seat belts on! 48 00:02:37,997 --> 00:02:39,362 Oh, my God! 49 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,462 - Surprise! - Surprise! 50 00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:46,361 No way! Thank you, Mom! 51 00:02:46,363 --> 00:02:48,961 Thank you so much! 52 00:02:48,963 --> 00:02:50,897 Be careful. 53 00:02:56,797 --> 00:03:00,829 ♪ Just walk your fine ass out the door ♪ 54 00:03:00,831 --> 00:03:04,928 ♪ I do my hair toss, check my nails ♪ 55 00:03:04,930 --> 00:03:07,394 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 56 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,862 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪ 57 00:03:09,864 --> 00:03:12,394 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 58 00:03:12,396 --> 00:03:14,695 ♪ Feelin' good as hell ♪ 59 00:03:14,697 --> 00:03:17,461 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 60 00:03:17,463 --> 00:03:19,561 Absolutely gorgeous out. 61 00:03:19,563 --> 00:03:21,029 You're probably gonna miss these mornings 62 00:03:21,031 --> 00:03:22,662 that we spend together, right? 63 00:03:22,664 --> 00:03:24,961 Stop. You're gonna make me cry. 64 00:03:24,963 --> 00:03:27,029 And I don't want to cry, because it's prom night. 65 00:03:27,031 --> 00:03:28,861 And it's supposed to be, like, the most magical night 66 00:03:28,863 --> 00:03:30,028 of your life, and, you know, 67 00:03:30,030 --> 00:03:32,629 I'm just so anxious about it. 68 00:03:32,631 --> 00:03:36,461 Well, call me if you feel anxious. 69 00:03:36,463 --> 00:03:38,729 Or maybe FaceTime me, if it wasn't too loud. 70 00:03:38,731 --> 00:03:40,761 I mean, if it was too loud, you could just... 71 00:03:40,763 --> 00:03:42,294 we could wave or whatever. 72 00:03:42,296 --> 00:03:43,794 That'd be funny. 73 00:03:43,796 --> 00:03:46,462 And then I can do... You know what I was thinking? 74 00:03:46,464 --> 00:03:48,662 You should send me photos throughout the night. 75 00:03:48,664 --> 00:03:50,928 Like, not... not, like, all night long, 76 00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:53,694 but if you could do it like every 30 minutes or so, 77 00:03:53,696 --> 00:03:56,494 then I can put together one of those iBooks. 78 00:03:56,496 --> 00:03:57,594 - That would be so fun. - Yeah. 79 00:03:57,596 --> 00:03:58,829 That would be a really... 80 00:03:58,831 --> 00:04:00,628 I don't think you would regret that. 81 00:04:01,964 --> 00:04:03,861 - Mom? - Mm-hmm? 82 00:04:03,863 --> 00:04:07,029 Are you gonna be okay when I go to college? 83 00:04:07,031 --> 00:04:08,594 Who, me? 84 00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:09,594 Yeah. 85 00:04:09,596 --> 00:04:10,928 Me? 86 00:04:12,864 --> 00:04:14,029 What? 87 00:04:14,031 --> 00:04:15,494 Pl-Please. 88 00:04:15,496 --> 00:04:17,762 Don't even get me... 89 00:04:17,764 --> 00:04:19,728 Don't even... 90 00:04:19,730 --> 00:04:21,964 Please. 91 00:04:25,530 --> 00:04:27,295 Okay, bye, Mom! 92 00:04:27,297 --> 00:04:28,861 - Okay, bye. - I love you. 93 00:04:28,863 --> 00:04:30,564 Okay, I love you. 94 00:04:36,896 --> 00:04:39,029 Oh, good, you did the laundry. 95 00:04:39,031 --> 00:04:42,294 Yeah, and got a totally sleepy, happy baby. 96 00:04:42,296 --> 00:04:44,295 Full-blown Renaissance man. 97 00:04:44,297 --> 00:04:45,895 - Oh. - Believe it. 98 00:04:45,897 --> 00:04:47,494 It's a good thing she's asleep, too. 99 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:48,728 I was going through the laundry. 100 00:04:48,730 --> 00:04:50,561 - Uh-huh. - Found these new thongs. 101 00:04:50,563 --> 00:04:53,362 You know what I'm gonna do with these? 102 00:04:53,364 --> 00:04:55,628 Paging Dr. Muff Diver. Dr. Muff Diver, you're needed 103 00:04:55,630 --> 00:04:57,028 in the O.R. immediately. 104 00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:58,694 Emergency surgery. Later on tonight, 105 00:04:58,696 --> 00:05:00,262 I'm tearing these off with my teeth 106 00:05:00,264 --> 00:05:01,461 like an old-school cartoon billy goat. 107 00:05:01,463 --> 00:05:02,794 Honey. 108 00:05:02,796 --> 00:05:04,263 Mitchell. 109 00:05:06,796 --> 00:05:08,029 Those are your daughter's. 110 00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:11,929 No way. Kayla wears cleats and Bears jerseys, 111 00:05:11,931 --> 00:05:13,029 not some dirty stripper underwear. 112 00:05:13,031 --> 00:05:13,996 You thought they were mine. 113 00:05:13,998 --> 00:05:15,894 What, am I giving her allowance in singles? 114 00:05:15,896 --> 00:05:17,461 Go tell her she can't wear these. 115 00:05:17,463 --> 00:05:18,929 Tell her they'll make her sterile, 116 00:05:18,931 --> 00:05:20,761 like with the laptop and my brother's balls. 117 00:05:20,763 --> 00:05:22,661 We're not sure that's what happened with your brother. 118 00:05:22,663 --> 00:05:24,527 Honey, you're being ridiculous. 119 00:05:24,529 --> 00:05:26,294 Kayla's becoming a woman. This isn't the time 120 00:05:26,296 --> 00:05:28,361 to tighten your grip; it's the time to loosen it. 121 00:05:28,363 --> 00:05:30,427 This? This means we tighten the grip. 122 00:05:30,429 --> 00:05:32,427 This isn't built for comfort; it's built for speed. 123 00:05:32,429 --> 00:05:33,962 We need to slow it the fuck down. 124 00:05:33,964 --> 00:05:37,362 The appliances go in after the backsplash. 125 00:05:37,364 --> 00:05:39,929 We've done it the same way every time. 126 00:05:41,730 --> 00:05:43,830 Uh-huh. All right, put him on the phone. 127 00:05:46,463 --> 00:05:48,527 I'm in the bathroom. 128 00:06:10,497 --> 00:06:11,965 Thanks. I was looking for that. 129 00:06:13,797 --> 00:06:15,629 You mind telling me what this is? 130 00:06:15,631 --> 00:06:17,495 - Uh, fuzz. - Yeah. 131 00:06:17,497 --> 00:06:19,428 Yeah, fuzz. That's what I thought it was, 132 00:06:19,430 --> 00:06:20,929 and then upon further investigation, 133 00:06:20,931 --> 00:06:23,527 it is clearly an unraveled filter of a cigarette. 134 00:06:23,529 --> 00:06:25,029 Kayla, are you a... a smoker? 135 00:06:25,031 --> 00:06:26,695 What? No. 136 00:06:26,697 --> 00:06:28,662 Not a smoker, Dad. 137 00:06:28,664 --> 00:06:31,628 Hey, haven't you seen the billions of ads that tell you 138 00:06:31,630 --> 00:06:33,428 - not to do this stuff? - Dad! 139 00:06:33,430 --> 00:06:35,328 You can't teach someone not to try things, okay? 140 00:06:35,330 --> 00:06:37,395 That's what trying things is for... to teach you things. 141 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,695 It's a contradiction. 142 00:06:38,697 --> 00:06:40,861 It's like telling me 143 00:06:40,863 --> 00:06:42,996 not to go for a triple on a base hit to the gap 144 00:06:42,998 --> 00:06:44,694 when I've made a good turn around first 145 00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:46,430 and I know that the right fielder has a weak arm. 146 00:06:48,396 --> 00:06:49,862 Damn it, you're smart. 147 00:06:49,864 --> 00:06:52,261 Okay. Yeah, all right. 148 00:06:52,263 --> 00:06:53,661 Time to get ready for school, Dad. 149 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:55,028 Okay, all right. 150 00:06:55,030 --> 00:06:57,328 Julie! Sam! 151 00:06:57,330 --> 00:06:58,394 Hey, girl! 152 00:06:58,396 --> 00:06:59,561 Whoa! 153 00:07:00,863 --> 00:07:03,595 - I almost died. - Prom night! 154 00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:05,028 Prom! 155 00:07:05,030 --> 00:07:06,961 I'm so, so excited. 156 00:07:06,963 --> 00:07:08,528 Oh, me, too. 157 00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:13,595 Mm. I love you. 158 00:07:13,597 --> 00:07:15,694 I love you, too. 159 00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:16,929 All right. 160 00:07:16,931 --> 00:07:17,995 - We're so gross. - I know. 161 00:07:17,997 --> 00:07:19,428 People are looking at us. 162 00:07:19,430 --> 00:07:20,629 - I don't care. - We better get 163 00:07:20,631 --> 00:07:21,665 "cutest couple" in the yearbook. 164 00:07:24,529 --> 00:07:25,730 ♪ Here we go ♪ 165 00:07:31,964 --> 00:07:33,028 ♪ Here we go. ♪ 166 00:07:33,030 --> 00:07:33,964 I'm having sex. 167 00:07:35,263 --> 00:07:36,428 That's great. 168 00:07:36,430 --> 00:07:37,795 I'm having soup. 169 00:07:37,797 --> 00:07:38,928 No. 170 00:07:38,930 --> 00:07:40,996 Tonight with Austin. 171 00:07:40,998 --> 00:07:43,028 - Wait, you're finally gonna do it? - Yeah. 172 00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:45,261 I mean, you know, we've been dating for six months, 173 00:07:45,263 --> 00:07:46,728 and we love each other, 174 00:07:46,730 --> 00:07:48,628 and I just awkwardly got my pediatrician 175 00:07:48,630 --> 00:07:50,028 to put me on birth control. 176 00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:51,995 She gave me a sticker. 177 00:07:51,997 --> 00:07:53,894 Two because I was good, so... 178 00:07:53,896 --> 00:07:56,362 I know it's, like, kind of corny or whatever, but it just 179 00:07:56,364 --> 00:07:58,028 seems like prom night... 180 00:07:58,030 --> 00:08:00,394 it's kind of perfect, you know? 181 00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:01,894 We're gonna have, like, 182 00:08:01,896 --> 00:08:05,327 dim lighting and rose petals on the bed 183 00:08:05,329 --> 00:08:07,428 and the scent from that candle that gets me horny 184 00:08:07,430 --> 00:08:08,894 every time I pass it in Walgreens. 185 00:08:08,896 --> 00:08:10,461 All candles get me horny. 186 00:08:10,463 --> 00:08:11,828 I'm gonna look into Austin's eyes, 187 00:08:11,830 --> 00:08:14,628 and then he's gonna look into mine, 188 00:08:14,630 --> 00:08:16,628 and then we're gonna, like, 189 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:18,261 touch each other's faces, you know? 190 00:08:18,263 --> 00:08:19,895 For, like, a long time. 191 00:08:19,897 --> 00:08:21,761 Like, a long time. 192 00:08:21,763 --> 00:08:23,261 Just to, like, connect. 193 00:08:23,263 --> 00:08:25,694 And then we're gonna... 194 00:08:25,696 --> 00:08:27,363 Kapow. 195 00:08:28,964 --> 00:08:30,662 All right, fuck it, I'm in. 196 00:08:30,664 --> 00:08:32,028 - What? - I'm in. 197 00:08:32,030 --> 00:08:33,294 I'm having sex tonight, too. 198 00:08:33,296 --> 00:08:35,028 Uh... just like that? 199 00:08:35,030 --> 00:08:36,027 Yeah. I mean, why not? 200 00:08:36,029 --> 00:08:37,728 Because it's your first time, 201 00:08:37,730 --> 00:08:40,427 and your first time should be special and perfect. 202 00:08:40,429 --> 00:08:41,795 Yours can be special and perfect. 203 00:08:41,797 --> 00:08:45,662 Mine is gonna be tonight and with that dude. 204 00:08:45,664 --> 00:08:47,362 Yeah, they're just brownies. They're not, like... 205 00:08:47,364 --> 00:08:49,494 Connor Aldrich? Your lab partner? 206 00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:51,527 - Yeah. What? - You haven't even hooked up with him. 207 00:08:51,529 --> 00:08:52,995 You haven't even seen his thing yet. 208 00:08:52,997 --> 00:08:54,427 What if he has a weird one? 209 00:08:54,429 --> 00:08:55,527 They're all weird. 210 00:08:55,529 --> 00:08:57,294 Penises are not for looking at. 211 00:08:57,296 --> 00:08:58,861 They're for use. They're like plungers. 212 00:08:58,863 --> 00:09:01,561 Listen, my student athlete days are over. 213 00:09:01,563 --> 00:09:03,394 Tonight is the beginning of my adult life, 214 00:09:03,396 --> 00:09:05,960 and for the first time I can do whatever I want. 215 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:08,361 So I want to go to prom, get drunk, 216 00:09:08,363 --> 00:09:11,495 get potted up on weed and lose my goddamn virginity. 217 00:09:11,497 --> 00:09:13,361 We're gonna have the same first-time-sex anniversary. 218 00:09:13,363 --> 00:09:14,994 We can go to dinner every year and commemorate it. 219 00:09:14,996 --> 00:09:16,995 - Olive Garden. - Yes! Olive Garden. 220 00:09:16,997 --> 00:09:18,562 Breadsticks for life, bitch. 221 00:09:18,564 --> 00:09:20,862 - Yeah! - Oh, my God, it is gonna be 222 00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:24,431 such a relief to get this over and done with before college. 223 00:09:25,596 --> 00:09:27,662 Um, no, I mean, like... 224 00:09:27,664 --> 00:09:29,027 No, it's cool. 225 00:09:29,029 --> 00:09:30,661 I just don't think I'm there yet. 226 00:09:30,663 --> 00:09:32,629 You know, maybe something might happen tonight 227 00:09:32,631 --> 00:09:35,628 with me and Chad, but, uh, 228 00:09:35,630 --> 00:09:38,564 I don't think sex is gonna be that thing. 229 00:09:45,997 --> 00:09:46,930 Sam? 230 00:09:50,564 --> 00:09:52,994 But you never know what could happen. 231 00:09:52,996 --> 00:09:55,495 I mean, maybe my inner sexual Smaug 232 00:09:55,497 --> 00:09:58,197 will emerge from its keep and spread its mighty wings. 233 00:09:59,730 --> 00:10:01,695 I never know what you're talking about. 234 00:10:01,697 --> 00:10:03,661 Yeah, I... me, neither. 235 00:10:11,996 --> 00:10:13,931 Oh, my God. 236 00:10:27,397 --> 00:10:29,598 Julie, is that you? 237 00:10:36,297 --> 00:10:38,328 So realistic. 238 00:10:41,496 --> 00:10:43,630 Ugh. God. 239 00:10:46,630 --> 00:10:48,495 Come on, Sam, we're waiting. 240 00:10:48,497 --> 00:10:50,298 Be right there! 241 00:10:51,764 --> 00:10:53,294 - There she is. - All right, took me 20 minutes 242 00:10:53,296 --> 00:10:54,729 to figure out how to do video on this thing, 243 00:10:54,731 --> 00:10:55,829 but I finally got it. 244 00:10:55,831 --> 00:10:57,294 Oh! 245 00:10:57,296 --> 00:10:58,893 Nope. Took a picture of myself. 246 00:10:58,895 --> 00:11:01,261 Siri, video, please. 247 00:11:01,263 --> 00:11:03,562 Wow! That Chad is going to rip 248 00:11:03,564 --> 00:11:05,395 through his little tuxedo pants. 249 00:11:05,397 --> 00:11:07,328 - Mom. That's gross. - What? 250 00:11:07,330 --> 00:11:09,427 - Why? - 'Cause you're practically imagining 251 00:11:09,429 --> 00:11:10,995 your daughter in sexual congress. 252 00:11:10,997 --> 00:11:12,294 You sicko. 253 00:11:12,296 --> 00:11:13,860 Ah! 254 00:11:13,862 --> 00:11:15,861 I was just trying to connect with you. 255 00:11:15,863 --> 00:11:18,262 You never talk to us anymore. 256 00:11:18,264 --> 00:11:20,964 - Hey, I got this. - Okay. 257 00:11:24,930 --> 00:11:26,495 Prom night, huh? 258 00:11:26,497 --> 00:11:29,427 I got sad and reflective on my prom night, too. 259 00:11:29,429 --> 00:11:30,894 - You were? - Yeah. I was scared I wasn't 260 00:11:30,896 --> 00:11:32,562 gonna stay friends with the guys I had 261 00:11:32,564 --> 00:11:34,628 been around most of my life, but I was able to... 262 00:11:34,630 --> 00:11:35,961 - Hey, baby, I love you so much. - What? 263 00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:37,028 You just really freaked her out. 264 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,893 Sweetie, if you're worried 265 00:11:38,895 --> 00:11:42,028 about that at all, just know you shouldn't be. 266 00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:44,661 You never stay friends with people from high school. 267 00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:46,394 I mean, the oldest friend I have is Jan 268 00:11:46,396 --> 00:11:47,927 from work, and I've known her for three months. 269 00:11:47,929 --> 00:11:49,762 - Who's Jan? - You know Jan, babe. 270 00:11:49,764 --> 00:11:51,528 She draws those silly cartoons. 271 00:11:51,530 --> 00:11:53,960 - Oh, racist Jan. - Yeah, that's the one. 272 00:11:53,962 --> 00:11:57,262 Who you are today is not who you're going to be. 273 00:11:57,264 --> 00:11:58,960 And that's okay. 274 00:11:58,962 --> 00:12:01,427 - That's good therapy. - And who you become will be 275 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,894 so different that your friends won't understand you anymore, 276 00:12:03,896 --> 00:12:05,562 and then you will wake up and realize 277 00:12:05,564 --> 00:12:06,960 these friendships are over. 278 00:12:06,962 --> 00:12:08,961 This feels like a very painful divorce, 279 00:12:08,963 --> 00:12:10,893 just like the one I had with your father, 280 00:12:10,895 --> 00:12:12,893 but then you'll find a Frank. 281 00:12:12,895 --> 00:12:16,028 Uh, I appreciate that, but that's not my deal. 282 00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:18,694 I'm still cool with a lot of my boys because 283 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:21,595 on prom night, me, Dennis, Matt and Cory 284 00:12:21,597 --> 00:12:24,894 all convinced our friend Steve to join the Army. 285 00:12:24,896 --> 00:12:26,828 He fought in the Persian Gulf War. 286 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,694 He died right away. 287 00:12:28,696 --> 00:12:30,361 But once you go through 288 00:12:30,363 --> 00:12:32,661 something like that, you're bonded for life. 289 00:12:32,663 --> 00:12:35,860 The bedrock of deep, meaningful friendships 290 00:12:35,862 --> 00:12:37,397 is shared experience. 291 00:12:38,896 --> 00:12:41,763 I thought they were gonna put him in the Reserves. 292 00:12:45,396 --> 00:12:47,897 That is some horseshit. 293 00:12:52,930 --> 00:12:54,497 Hmm. 294 00:13:00,895 --> 00:13:02,961 Wow. 295 00:13:02,963 --> 00:13:05,027 You look so beautiful. 296 00:13:05,029 --> 00:13:07,431 Turn around. 297 00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:11,362 Wow. 298 00:13:11,364 --> 00:13:12,793 Oh, my goodness. 299 00:13:12,795 --> 00:13:14,262 Wow. 300 00:13:14,264 --> 00:13:17,793 So, what's the big plan for after prom? 301 00:13:17,795 --> 00:13:19,662 Uh, we're just going to Austin's. 302 00:13:19,664 --> 00:13:20,928 You really like him, huh? 303 00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:22,827 Yeah. Yeah, I mean, he's... 304 00:13:22,829 --> 00:13:24,761 Yeah, he's cool. It's not, like, serious or anything. 305 00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:27,361 His mom told me he got into UCLA. 306 00:13:27,363 --> 00:13:29,861 - That's nice. - Yeah, I mean, it's good. 307 00:13:29,863 --> 00:13:31,961 You remember that time when, like, 308 00:13:31,963 --> 00:13:34,295 I thought about going to UCLA? 309 00:13:34,297 --> 00:13:36,528 Yes. That would have been crazy. 310 00:13:36,530 --> 00:13:38,394 That would have been the worst mistake ever. 311 00:13:38,396 --> 00:13:41,028 I don't think it would have been that huge of a mistake. 312 00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:43,861 Uh, yes, it would have. 313 00:13:43,863 --> 00:13:45,693 University of Chicago is perfect. 314 00:13:45,695 --> 00:13:48,027 It's 45 minutes away. 315 00:13:48,029 --> 00:13:51,693 So that way you're gone, but you're not "gone" gone. 316 00:13:51,695 --> 00:13:53,561 But I'm gone. 317 00:13:53,563 --> 00:13:55,727 Right, but not, like, gone. 318 00:13:55,729 --> 00:13:57,728 Right, but, like, I'm going to college, 319 00:13:57,730 --> 00:13:59,727 and, like, I'm not gonna live at home, 320 00:13:59,729 --> 00:14:01,629 so I'm, like... I'm gone. 321 00:14:01,631 --> 00:14:03,427 Mm-hmm. 322 00:14:03,429 --> 00:14:05,995 Why are my boobs so big? 323 00:14:05,997 --> 00:14:07,964 - Ready, Kayla? - Yup. 324 00:14:09,796 --> 00:14:11,728 And now... 325 00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:13,295 ...standing at five foot, seven inches... 326 00:14:13,297 --> 00:14:14,793 five, nine if you count the heels... 327 00:14:14,795 --> 00:14:17,394 straight out of Great Lakes High School, 328 00:14:17,396 --> 00:14:19,495 the prettiest girl in all of prom... 329 00:14:19,497 --> 00:14:21,661 Kayla Mannes! 330 00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:27,628 Uh... just high fives from now on. 331 00:14:27,630 --> 00:14:29,395 - Okay. - Oh, honey, I never thought 332 00:14:29,397 --> 00:14:30,694 I'd see you in a dress. 333 00:14:30,696 --> 00:14:32,627 Technically, it's not a full dress. 334 00:14:32,629 --> 00:14:34,562 Some material is missing from the middle there. 335 00:14:34,564 --> 00:14:35,595 Okay. 336 00:14:35,597 --> 00:14:36,627 You look great. 337 00:14:36,629 --> 00:14:37,761 All right. 338 00:14:37,763 --> 00:14:38,995 Yeah, I think it's time to go. 339 00:14:38,997 --> 00:14:39,994 Yes. Yeah. 340 00:14:39,996 --> 00:14:41,561 Honey, we got to go. 341 00:14:41,563 --> 00:14:43,294 Honey? 342 00:14:43,296 --> 00:14:45,394 Dad, are you okay? 343 00:14:45,396 --> 00:14:48,462 It's like when he watched Frozen. 344 00:14:48,464 --> 00:14:49,562 Come on. 345 00:14:51,397 --> 00:14:52,961 Hi. How are you? 346 00:14:52,963 --> 00:14:53,995 - Hi. - Hi. How are you? 347 00:14:53,997 --> 00:14:54,994 Oh, Sam. 348 00:14:54,996 --> 00:14:56,262 Hi, Marcie. 349 00:14:56,264 --> 00:14:57,827 Oh. Oh, oh. 350 00:14:57,829 --> 00:14:59,595 - Hey, Mitchell. - Hey. Haven't seen you in a while. 351 00:14:59,597 --> 00:15:01,027 - Yeah. - You know, I was worried 352 00:15:01,029 --> 00:15:03,261 when I never heard back from you about hot yoga. 353 00:15:03,263 --> 00:15:04,528 Called you a bunch of times. 354 00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:07,028 - I ended up having to eat that two-for-one Groupon. - Oh, yeah. 355 00:15:07,030 --> 00:15:08,661 I don't really do the hot yoga thing. 356 00:15:08,663 --> 00:15:10,728 - It's just... - Well, we should catch up, though, right? 357 00:15:10,730 --> 00:15:12,593 - Yeah. - Like a lunch. I don't know. 358 00:15:12,595 --> 00:15:14,494 Yeah, maybe. Yeah, give me a call. 359 00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:15,828 - I've been calling you. - Mm-hmm. 360 00:15:15,830 --> 00:15:17,528 Doesn't work. 361 00:15:17,530 --> 00:15:18,797 It's not effective. 362 00:15:34,763 --> 00:15:36,328 I don't even know. Wait, wait, wait. 363 00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:37,728 - Oh, my gosh, thank you. - You guys, you guys. 364 00:15:37,730 --> 00:15:39,262 Wait, this is, like, the best lighting 365 00:15:39,264 --> 00:15:40,727 with the Valencia filter, so wait, wait. 366 00:15:40,729 --> 00:15:42,760 Oh, God. All right, here we go. 367 00:15:42,762 --> 00:15:43,994 - Yeah, okay, that's enough. - One more. 368 00:15:43,996 --> 00:15:45,428 - We're good. - Oh, my God. 369 00:15:45,430 --> 00:15:46,827 We need to get this party started. 370 00:15:46,829 --> 00:15:47,960 - Ooh! Okay, Julie. - Hmm? 371 00:15:47,962 --> 00:15:49,331 I got you something. 372 00:15:50,464 --> 00:15:51,860 It's coconut oil. 373 00:15:51,862 --> 00:15:53,295 For lube. 374 00:15:53,297 --> 00:15:54,961 I hear it works just as well 375 00:15:54,963 --> 00:15:57,028 and it makes blow jobs taste like Almond Joy. 376 00:15:57,030 --> 00:15:58,960 Thank God it doesn't taste like Mounds. 377 00:15:58,962 --> 00:16:01,461 I'd rather eat ten dicks than one Mound. 378 00:16:01,463 --> 00:16:04,261 - Mm. - But thank you. That's so sweet. 379 00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:05,161 - Oh! - Aw! 380 00:16:05,163 --> 00:16:06,827 - Oh, my God, I'm so excited. - Me, too. 381 00:16:06,829 --> 00:16:08,828 - Oh, my God! - You have to text me, like, right away. 382 00:16:08,830 --> 00:16:10,660 Oh, my God, we're gonna be doing it at the same time. 383 00:16:10,662 --> 00:16:12,394 Oh, my God. We have to talk about it tomorrow. 384 00:16:12,396 --> 00:16:13,462 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, every detail. 385 00:16:13,464 --> 00:16:14,727 - There's gonna be so much to talk about. - Guys? 386 00:16:14,729 --> 00:16:17,262 Hey, guys. 387 00:16:17,264 --> 00:16:19,627 I want in on this sex pact. 388 00:16:19,629 --> 00:16:22,728 Are you sure? You don't have to do this just because we are. 389 00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:24,261 No, that's not why. 390 00:16:24,263 --> 00:16:26,828 I want to have sex. Yeah. 391 00:16:26,830 --> 00:16:29,395 That's something all three of us have in common. 392 00:16:29,397 --> 00:16:30,594 - Mm-hmm. - Chad is gonna 393 00:16:30,596 --> 00:16:34,927 tap that ass with his penis. 394 00:16:34,929 --> 00:16:38,261 And I doubt we'll have anal the first time, but... 395 00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:40,527 - All right. - This is gonna make tonight 396 00:16:40,529 --> 00:16:41,394 - even more perfect. - Yeah. 397 00:16:41,396 --> 00:16:43,328 - It's gonna be the three of us! - Yes! 398 00:16:44,695 --> 00:16:46,728 Prom night, motherfuckers! 399 00:16:46,730 --> 00:16:49,294 ♪ I came to dance, dance, dance, dance... ♪ 400 00:16:49,296 --> 00:16:51,660 Yeah! Rudy, it's coming up. 401 00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:52,861 Bear left, bro. 402 00:16:52,863 --> 00:16:54,494 Yeah! Jesus, Rudy. 403 00:16:54,496 --> 00:16:56,728 What the fuck? Yeah! 404 00:16:56,730 --> 00:16:59,494 Oh, my God, it's my fucking dad. 405 00:16:59,496 --> 00:17:01,328 ♪ Hands, hands, hands, hands ♪ 406 00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:02,995 ♪ You, you... ♪ 407 00:17:05,430 --> 00:17:09,294 Yeah! Prom night, bitches! 408 00:17:11,996 --> 00:17:13,261 - Yeah! - Oh, God, it's him. 409 00:17:13,263 --> 00:17:14,794 Oh, what's up? Yo! 410 00:17:14,796 --> 00:17:17,761 ♪ We gonna light it up ♪ 411 00:17:17,763 --> 00:17:19,927 ♪ Like it's prom night ♪ 412 00:17:19,929 --> 00:17:21,860 Taio Cruz. 413 00:17:21,862 --> 00:17:23,493 ♪ Like it's prom night. ♪ 414 00:17:23,495 --> 00:17:25,327 - You got this, girl. - Don't mess this up, 415 00:17:25,329 --> 00:17:27,793 because that limo is totally awesome. 416 00:17:27,795 --> 00:17:30,728 Sam. Sam. 417 00:17:30,730 --> 00:17:32,028 Taio Cruz. 418 00:17:32,030 --> 00:17:33,494 Whew! 419 00:17:36,029 --> 00:17:37,428 Sorry. 420 00:17:37,430 --> 00:17:39,028 Sorry. Ho! 421 00:17:39,030 --> 00:17:40,864 Whew! 422 00:17:48,029 --> 00:17:50,028 You're so grown up. 423 00:17:50,030 --> 00:17:51,728 Dad, what are you doing here? 424 00:17:51,730 --> 00:17:54,261 You think I'm gonna miss the most important night 425 00:17:54,263 --> 00:17:56,494 of your young life? 426 00:17:56,496 --> 00:17:58,028 - That's graduation. - No. 427 00:17:58,030 --> 00:17:59,527 Graduation's for losers. 428 00:17:59,529 --> 00:18:00,894 Didn't even go to my graduation. 429 00:18:00,896 --> 00:18:03,394 But prom night... that's a big one. 430 00:18:03,396 --> 00:18:05,593 Prom was the best night of my life. 431 00:18:05,595 --> 00:18:06,994 I think about it every day, 432 00:18:06,996 --> 00:18:08,894 and I want you to have the same experience. 433 00:18:08,896 --> 00:18:10,760 Tonight, you have fun. You don't worry 434 00:18:10,762 --> 00:18:13,794 about any rules that your mom or Frank laid down. 435 00:18:13,796 --> 00:18:15,628 No one gives a fuck about Frank. 436 00:18:15,630 --> 00:18:16,894 All I know is this... you look amazing, 437 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:18,426 and I would love to grab a quick pic. 438 00:18:18,428 --> 00:18:20,627 No. Go stand with the other parents, 439 00:18:20,629 --> 00:18:22,460 and try to be normal. 440 00:18:22,462 --> 00:18:24,460 Sam, I'm not a normal parent. I'm not gonna... 441 00:18:24,462 --> 00:18:26,262 Just... I don't even fucking... 442 00:18:26,264 --> 00:18:27,994 - Holy shit, you invited Hunter? - No, of course not. 443 00:18:27,996 --> 00:18:30,327 I haven't talked to him since he and Brenda got divorced. 444 00:18:30,329 --> 00:18:31,760 - You know he calls me all the time? - What? 445 00:18:31,762 --> 00:18:33,827 He wants to play darts. I don't play darts. 446 00:18:33,829 --> 00:18:35,494 - Darts? - You kidding me? 447 00:18:35,496 --> 00:18:36,727 - Anyway, I can't hang out with him. - Oh! 448 00:18:36,729 --> 00:18:38,527 - I'll be guilty by association. - No, no. 449 00:18:38,529 --> 00:18:40,693 I will never forgive that babysitter fucker. 450 00:18:40,695 --> 00:18:42,460 - Hey, Hunter. - Hey, man. Good to see you. 451 00:18:42,462 --> 00:18:43,727 - What up? - Hey, all right? 452 00:18:43,729 --> 00:18:44,995 Mwah! 453 00:18:44,997 --> 00:18:48,295 Ah. 454 00:18:48,297 --> 00:18:49,827 Did you have another daughter? 455 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,760 I did. I did. Thank you. 456 00:18:51,762 --> 00:18:53,893 - It's... it's been wonderful. - Yeah. 457 00:18:53,895 --> 00:18:55,262 I'm thinking about doing that again. 458 00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,426 You know, the whole second round. 459 00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:57,961 I think a lot of dads kind of 460 00:18:57,963 --> 00:18:59,527 get it right the second time around. 461 00:18:59,529 --> 00:19:01,494 Or, you know, you could 462 00:19:01,496 --> 00:19:03,027 just raise the one that you have. 463 00:19:03,029 --> 00:19:04,628 Well, I did. Too late for that. 464 00:19:04,630 --> 00:19:06,527 Raised. Job done. Hi, honey. 465 00:19:06,529 --> 00:19:08,295 Actually, I heard, 466 00:19:08,297 --> 00:19:10,393 if you spend a significant amount 467 00:19:10,395 --> 00:19:12,327 of time with your children, that you develop 468 00:19:12,329 --> 00:19:15,727 some kind of, like, telekinetic bond with them. 469 00:19:15,729 --> 00:19:17,794 - Is that true? - I've heard. Mm-hmm. 470 00:19:17,796 --> 00:19:19,527 I hope it's not true, 'cause if it is, 471 00:19:19,529 --> 00:19:22,393 Sam has been looking at a lot of Asian porn. 472 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,328 My wife's Asian. 473 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:25,694 Indian. 474 00:19:25,696 --> 00:19:26,927 That's Asian. 475 00:19:26,929 --> 00:19:28,760 This is more like, uh... 476 00:19:28,762 --> 00:19:30,494 It looks like when... the typical Asian. 477 00:19:30,496 --> 00:19:31,995 - Yep, good seeing you, man. - Uh, okay. 478 00:19:31,997 --> 00:19:33,429 Good to see you, brother. You know what I mean. 479 00:19:34,562 --> 00:19:36,261 Who's this guy? Who are you? 480 00:19:36,263 --> 00:19:37,728 Dad, this is my date. 481 00:19:37,730 --> 00:19:39,628 Hi. Uh, it's great to meet you, sir. 482 00:19:39,630 --> 00:19:40,827 - I'm-I'm Connor. - Connor and I... 483 00:19:40,829 --> 00:19:41,995 we're in the same science class. 484 00:19:41,997 --> 00:19:42,895 We're lab partners. 485 00:19:42,897 --> 00:19:44,627 Yeah, we're working on our chemistry. 486 00:19:46,396 --> 00:19:47,794 Uh... 487 00:19:47,796 --> 00:19:51,360 Um, I'm gonna get a napkin, if that's cool. 488 00:19:51,362 --> 00:19:53,860 Okay. 489 00:19:53,862 --> 00:19:56,261 Okay, so, uh... 490 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:59,861 with this, it's, uh, one shot to the groin, stab and drag. 491 00:19:59,863 --> 00:20:02,360 I refuse to believe she couldn't do better 492 00:20:02,362 --> 00:20:05,794 - than that loser. - Oh, I think Chad seems nice. 493 00:20:05,796 --> 00:20:06,928 Chad? No, Chad's amazing. 494 00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:08,628 - Look at that fedora. - Yeah. 495 00:20:08,630 --> 00:20:10,326 I'm not talking about Chad. 496 00:20:10,328 --> 00:20:11,927 I'm talking about fucking Frank. What a dick. 497 00:20:11,929 --> 00:20:13,961 Frank does not seem like a dick to me. 498 00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:15,961 He seems like a nice guy. 499 00:20:15,963 --> 00:20:17,728 And you know what? Don't blame Brenda. 500 00:20:17,730 --> 00:20:19,526 It's really hard being alone. 501 00:20:19,528 --> 00:20:21,360 Well, let's just agree to disagree on Frank. 502 00:20:21,362 --> 00:20:22,994 Oh, here they come. Okay, just be cool. 503 00:20:22,996 --> 00:20:25,294 He's gonna talk about his tow truck company instantly. 504 00:20:25,296 --> 00:20:28,261 I guarantee you he's gonna throw that shit in my face. 505 00:20:28,263 --> 00:20:29,460 Be cool, be cool, be cool. 506 00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:30,593 Brenda. 507 00:20:30,595 --> 00:20:31,896 Hunter. 508 00:20:32,963 --> 00:20:33,961 Frank. 509 00:20:33,963 --> 00:20:36,594 - Lisa. - What'd I do? 510 00:20:36,596 --> 00:20:38,727 I'm sorry. I don't know why I just said your name like that. 511 00:20:38,729 --> 00:20:39,860 This is so nice. Thank you. 512 00:20:39,862 --> 00:20:41,530 You're welcome. 513 00:20:43,495 --> 00:20:45,260 Okay. 514 00:20:45,262 --> 00:20:47,526 Oh, no, no, no, no. Lis, Lis, Lis, Lis, Lis. 515 00:20:47,528 --> 00:20:49,027 - I got to go get Julie's wrap. - Mm. 516 00:20:49,029 --> 00:20:50,994 Were you gonna let our daughter 517 00:20:50,996 --> 00:20:52,627 take a fucking Lyft to prom? 518 00:20:52,629 --> 00:20:54,294 What is this, Afghanistan? 519 00:20:54,296 --> 00:20:55,560 How'd you pay for that limo, Hunter? 520 00:20:55,562 --> 00:20:56,960 'Cause I know your credit's in the shitter. 521 00:20:56,962 --> 00:20:58,494 It is. 522 00:20:58,496 --> 00:21:00,526 'Cause I bought your mom a wheelchair. 523 00:21:00,528 --> 00:21:01,860 She's gonna pay you back. 524 00:21:01,862 --> 00:21:03,728 With what money, Brenda? Can she pay me back 525 00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:05,028 with crackers that she steals from restaurants? 526 00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:06,561 I don't want to talk about your mom. 527 00:21:06,563 --> 00:21:07,827 I don't want to talk about her wheelchair. 528 00:21:07,829 --> 00:21:09,327 All I care about is that my daughter 529 00:21:09,329 --> 00:21:10,461 has the greatest night of her life. 530 00:21:10,463 --> 00:21:12,627 If it was her greatest night, you would not be here. 531 00:21:12,629 --> 00:21:14,294 Oh, what a sick burn. 532 00:21:14,296 --> 00:21:15,728 All right, all right, all right. 533 00:21:15,730 --> 00:21:17,593 - Good. - Yo, wait, yo, yo. We're all adults here. 534 00:21:17,595 --> 00:21:20,927 Let's not make it uncomfortable if you're gonna be around more. 535 00:21:20,929 --> 00:21:22,827 - Let's have a beer sometime. - Okay, first of all, 536 00:21:22,829 --> 00:21:24,827 I don't want to go to have a beer with you. 537 00:21:24,829 --> 00:21:26,761 I don't want to hang out with you. I don't like you. 538 00:21:26,763 --> 00:21:28,494 I don't like your wife. I don't like your guys' deal. 539 00:21:28,496 --> 00:21:29,994 I think it sucks and it's played out. 540 00:21:29,996 --> 00:21:32,461 Hey, if you ever change your mind, here's my card. 541 00:21:32,463 --> 00:21:34,361 Ah, here we go. "Tow with Frank." 542 00:21:34,363 --> 00:21:36,294 Where'd you come up with that name? 543 00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:38,261 - It's very straightforward. - All right, I'll tell you this. 544 00:21:38,263 --> 00:21:39,761 The design of that card is pretty cool. 545 00:21:39,763 --> 00:21:41,461 And my favorite part is right fucking there. 546 00:21:41,463 --> 00:21:43,297 Oh, God. 547 00:22:12,730 --> 00:22:14,727 Wow, that is just... No, that's us, Frank. 548 00:22:14,729 --> 00:22:16,694 - You know what? - I got it. I got it. 549 00:22:16,696 --> 00:22:17,894 You've taken about 15 goddamn selfies. 550 00:22:17,896 --> 00:22:19,327 - Yeah! - All right. 551 00:22:19,329 --> 00:22:20,861 All right. Cool. 552 00:22:20,863 --> 00:22:21,928 Bye, Mom. 553 00:22:21,930 --> 00:22:23,660 - Have fun, honey. Okay. - I will. 554 00:22:23,662 --> 00:22:24,893 Bye, Dad. 555 00:22:24,895 --> 00:22:27,694 Remember... stab, turn, drag. 556 00:22:27,696 --> 00:22:28,927 I don't have the knife, Dad. 557 00:22:28,929 --> 00:22:29,927 Yes, you do. Check your clutch. 558 00:22:32,328 --> 00:22:33,928 Hey, uh, it's been a pleasure, sir. 559 00:22:33,930 --> 00:22:36,927 I really, um, it's... I'm honored. 560 00:22:36,929 --> 00:22:38,493 Oh. 561 00:22:38,495 --> 00:22:39,961 Intense, professional grip. 562 00:22:39,963 --> 00:22:41,494 Cheers. 563 00:22:41,496 --> 00:22:43,294 Take it easy, big guy. 564 00:22:43,296 --> 00:22:46,593 Hey, uh, you guys have a good night, too, you know. 565 00:22:46,595 --> 00:22:47,994 Thank you. 566 00:22:47,996 --> 00:22:49,961 See that smirk? What was up with that smirk? 567 00:22:49,963 --> 00:22:52,027 You are intense. 568 00:22:52,029 --> 00:22:53,561 - Sam. Hey. - Oh, hey, Mr. Lockwood. 569 00:22:53,563 --> 00:22:54,628 - Hey. - Nice to meet you. 570 00:22:54,630 --> 00:22:56,793 - Chad, yes, come on, man. Bring it in. - Yes. Oh. 571 00:22:56,795 --> 00:22:58,028 Good. Yeah. 572 00:22:58,030 --> 00:22:59,560 My hat. 573 00:22:59,562 --> 00:23:02,294 - I want to talk to Sam real quick. - Yeah. Okay. 574 00:23:02,296 --> 00:23:04,561 Uh, let-let me get a picture real quick. Chad. 575 00:23:04,563 --> 00:23:06,461 - Oh. Okay. - Real quick photo. Just so fast. 576 00:23:06,463 --> 00:23:07,728 Just don't even fuck with a filter. 577 00:23:07,730 --> 00:23:08,795 - Just-just plain. - Okay. Here we go. 578 00:23:08,797 --> 00:23:10,693 - There we go. And there. - And then you want to get 579 00:23:10,695 --> 00:23:11,995 a quick one of me and Chad real quick? 580 00:23:11,997 --> 00:23:12,894 - That sounds cool. - Here you go. 581 00:23:12,896 --> 00:23:14,461 - Okay. - Yep. - Sammy, here you go, baby. 582 00:23:14,463 --> 00:23:15,694 Real quick. Just a couple fun ones. 583 00:23:15,696 --> 00:23:17,028 What are we doing? Uh... like this? 584 00:23:17,030 --> 00:23:18,894 Bros. 585 00:23:18,896 --> 00:23:20,561 Duck lips. 586 00:23:20,563 --> 00:23:22,660 And then just kind of a... 587 00:23:22,662 --> 00:23:24,293 Julie? 588 00:23:24,295 --> 00:23:25,828 Can I talk to you a second? 589 00:23:25,830 --> 00:23:27,728 We got to go. I love you. 590 00:23:27,730 --> 00:23:28,794 I'd really like to talk to you. 591 00:23:28,796 --> 00:23:30,460 But I really gotta go. 592 00:23:30,462 --> 00:23:31,893 Okay, fine. Just don't forget your wrap. 593 00:23:31,895 --> 00:23:33,494 It's okay. 594 00:23:33,496 --> 00:23:35,261 - I don't think I need it. - Are you sure? 595 00:23:35,263 --> 00:23:37,994 Because we live in Chicago, and it's chilly. 596 00:23:37,996 --> 00:23:39,827 I don't know about other places, 597 00:23:39,829 --> 00:23:42,529 but it gets cold in Illinois. 598 00:23:44,295 --> 00:23:45,761 It's not that cold tonight, so I don't 599 00:23:45,763 --> 00:23:47,794 - think I need it, okay? - Okay, Julie, wait. 600 00:23:47,796 --> 00:23:50,326 So you'll call me when you get to Austin's after prom, right? 601 00:23:50,328 --> 00:23:51,326 Right. 602 00:23:51,328 --> 00:23:52,994 Okay. 603 00:23:52,996 --> 00:23:54,727 - Okay. - I love you. 604 00:23:54,729 --> 00:23:56,563 Okay. I-I love you. 605 00:23:57,730 --> 00:23:59,260 Okay! 606 00:23:59,262 --> 00:24:00,561 Whew. 607 00:24:00,563 --> 00:24:02,526 Mm. Okay. 608 00:24:08,363 --> 00:24:10,494 This is so cool! 609 00:24:10,496 --> 00:24:12,360 Blow it out! 610 00:24:13,830 --> 00:24:15,294 Chad, I, um... 611 00:24:15,296 --> 00:24:16,528 I saw you do Pippin last year. 612 00:24:16,530 --> 00:24:18,494 - That was really good. - Oh. Nice. 613 00:24:18,496 --> 00:24:19,995 Yeah, you're a really good singer, man. 614 00:24:19,997 --> 00:24:21,395 - What are you doing this year? - Yeah. Um, we're actually 615 00:24:21,397 --> 00:24:24,493 doing Arnold, which is an all-male version of Annie. 616 00:24:24,495 --> 00:24:26,827 - Okay. - Caught you drinking. 617 00:24:26,829 --> 00:24:28,827 Just kidding, y'all. 618 00:24:28,829 --> 00:24:32,327 I may look like a parent, but I assure you, I am no narc. 619 00:24:32,329 --> 00:24:34,763 Thank you, sir. 620 00:24:36,296 --> 00:24:38,361 Not done yet. Name's Rudy. 621 00:24:38,363 --> 00:24:39,893 I did not go to my prom. 622 00:24:39,895 --> 00:24:41,828 No, my leg was crushed by a cement truck, 623 00:24:41,830 --> 00:24:43,426 so I could not dance, but... 624 00:24:43,428 --> 00:24:45,627 So I've made it my mission in life... 625 00:24:45,629 --> 00:24:46,928 well, my whole career... 626 00:24:46,930 --> 00:24:48,960 to make sure that little kids like you 627 00:24:48,962 --> 00:24:51,327 have a wonderful night to remember forever. 628 00:24:51,329 --> 00:24:54,928 So just sit back, relax and enjoy your prom night. 629 00:24:54,930 --> 00:24:56,427 Okay. 630 00:24:56,429 --> 00:24:59,397 Oh, fuck, that was the turn! Fuck! 631 00:25:00,830 --> 00:25:02,828 Hey, Lis? 632 00:25:02,830 --> 00:25:04,594 You got any S.O.S. pads? 633 00:25:04,596 --> 00:25:06,827 I'm soaking those pans, but you burnt the shit 634 00:25:06,829 --> 00:25:08,828 out of that mac and cheese, and... 635 00:25:08,830 --> 00:25:11,261 sponge just isn't gonna cut it. 636 00:25:11,263 --> 00:25:13,027 Thanks for helping clean up. 637 00:25:13,029 --> 00:25:14,827 Don't mention this one. 638 00:25:14,829 --> 00:25:17,794 I mean, Marcie brought the baby home early, and... 639 00:25:17,796 --> 00:25:19,427 I got to keep busy. 640 00:25:19,429 --> 00:25:22,493 I got to keep my mind off of Kayla and "Connor." 641 00:25:22,495 --> 00:25:25,294 That's not the right way to use those. 642 00:25:25,296 --> 00:25:27,526 'Cause his name is actually Connor. 643 00:25:27,528 --> 00:25:28,796 So... 644 00:25:30,329 --> 00:25:31,860 It's okay. 645 00:25:31,862 --> 00:25:33,994 - UCLA? - Uh-huh. 646 00:25:33,996 --> 00:25:35,593 I didn't mean to snoop, but I'm... 647 00:25:35,595 --> 00:25:36,861 No, no. It's okay. 648 00:25:36,863 --> 00:25:38,761 I mean, I don't think it's a real thing. 649 00:25:38,763 --> 00:25:40,327 She's not actually gonna go. 650 00:25:40,329 --> 00:25:42,260 I think she just applied for fun. 651 00:25:42,262 --> 00:25:44,594 She didn't... Why? Have you heard differently? 652 00:25:44,596 --> 00:25:47,293 I would assume it's to go, but she very well 653 00:25:47,295 --> 00:25:49,261 could have applied ironically. 654 00:25:49,263 --> 00:25:50,661 You... you know millennials, right? 655 00:25:50,663 --> 00:25:52,294 - Hmm. Mm-hmm. - And wherever she goes, 656 00:25:52,296 --> 00:25:54,294 you can have a bunch of time on your hands. 657 00:25:54,296 --> 00:25:55,460 Can figure out what you want to do 658 00:25:55,462 --> 00:25:56,526 for the back nine of your life. 659 00:25:56,528 --> 00:25:57,727 Uh-huh. Yeah. 660 00:25:59,529 --> 00:26:02,393 I think Julie left her laptop open. 661 00:26:02,395 --> 00:26:04,427 Julie's doing a lot of texting. 662 00:26:04,429 --> 00:26:06,393 - Mm-hmm. - Is everything okay? 663 00:26:06,395 --> 00:26:08,327 Maybe we should check to see? 664 00:26:08,329 --> 00:26:09,661 - Peace of mind. - Yeah. 665 00:26:14,262 --> 00:26:15,628 What the hell is that? 666 00:26:15,630 --> 00:26:17,526 I have no idea. 667 00:26:20,695 --> 00:26:21,960 What are you still doing here? 668 00:26:21,962 --> 00:26:23,593 Hey, your, uh... 669 00:26:23,595 --> 00:26:26,293 your mac and cheese is messed up. 670 00:26:28,795 --> 00:26:31,027 Are you guys snooping on your kids? 671 00:26:31,029 --> 00:26:32,827 That is not cool. 672 00:26:32,829 --> 00:26:35,293 No, it's not snooping if the information shows up. 673 00:26:35,295 --> 00:26:36,426 That's exactly what snooping is. 674 00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:37,993 No, it's like the Patriot Act. It's... 675 00:26:37,995 --> 00:26:39,760 Well, it's not like the Patriot Act. 676 00:26:39,762 --> 00:26:41,527 - It's like snooping. - Okay, we don't know 677 00:26:41,529 --> 00:26:43,026 what they're talking about, so... 678 00:26:43,028 --> 00:26:44,393 - What? - Okay. 679 00:26:44,395 --> 00:26:45,828 Oh, is it like puzzles? 680 00:26:45,830 --> 00:26:47,926 Ooh, ooh! I love puzzles. Just saw Inferno. 681 00:26:47,928 --> 00:26:49,760 Yeah, great. What are they saying? 682 00:26:49,762 --> 00:26:51,494 Okay, so there's something about an eggplant hand... 683 00:26:51,496 --> 00:26:53,326 - handshake. - Eggplant agreement. 684 00:26:53,328 --> 00:26:55,360 Yeah. They got an agreement to make eggplant parmesan. 685 00:26:55,362 --> 00:26:57,261 No, eggplants are dicks in teenage emoji language. 686 00:26:57,263 --> 00:26:58,594 - What? - You know what, that's true. 687 00:26:58,596 --> 00:26:59,927 Julie told me that... that the emojis have... 688 00:26:59,929 --> 00:27:01,728 - they all have secret meanings. - Mm-hmm. 689 00:27:01,730 --> 00:27:05,261 So, like, trees are weed, and snowflakes are cocaine, 690 00:27:05,263 --> 00:27:07,893 and that thing is "yas queen." 691 00:27:07,895 --> 00:27:09,794 - Yas queen! - What the hell is that? 692 00:27:09,796 --> 00:27:10,927 - You've never heard of "yas queen"? - No. 693 00:27:10,929 --> 00:27:11,927 All right, grandpa. 694 00:27:11,929 --> 00:27:13,927 Hold on. Julie is making... 695 00:27:13,929 --> 00:27:16,627 some kind of a dick-related agreement here. 696 00:27:16,629 --> 00:27:18,860 Kayla is in on the agreement. 697 00:27:18,862 --> 00:27:20,427 - No fucking way. - "Okay, clown face." 698 00:27:20,429 --> 00:27:22,393 What the fuck does that mean? 699 00:27:22,395 --> 00:27:25,262 That means she's down to clown. 700 00:27:27,029 --> 00:27:28,126 - Okay. - Three eggplants? 701 00:27:28,128 --> 00:27:30,260 And look at the drool coming out of that smiley face. 702 00:27:30,262 --> 00:27:31,093 You wish that was drool. 703 00:27:31,095 --> 00:27:32,061 - That's come, my man. - Stand down. 704 00:27:32,063 --> 00:27:34,261 - It is. Look, it's come. - He's like... 705 00:27:34,263 --> 00:27:36,293 This is sex if I've ever seen it 706 00:27:36,295 --> 00:27:38,294 - illustrated in emoji form. - Oh, no, no, no. Maybe not. 707 00:27:38,296 --> 00:27:39,794 They're best friends. They're just saying, like, 708 00:27:39,796 --> 00:27:41,761 "You're okay with me. You're okay to me. 709 00:27:41,763 --> 00:27:43,859 - You're okay to me." - You say that to your friends? 710 00:27:43,861 --> 00:27:45,293 Whenever I see my friends, I go, 711 00:27:45,295 --> 00:27:46,461 "Hey, you're okay with me." 712 00:27:46,463 --> 00:27:47,860 - I don't use these. - Hold on. 713 00:27:47,862 --> 00:27:49,728 Agreement hands, agreement hands, 714 00:27:49,730 --> 00:27:51,628 agreement hands. This is a... It's a sex agreement. 715 00:27:51,630 --> 00:27:53,628 They're making a sex pact. 716 00:27:53,630 --> 00:27:55,761 They're gonna lose their virginity on prom night. 717 00:27:55,763 --> 00:27:57,560 That cannot be a sex pact. 718 00:27:57,562 --> 00:27:59,026 That? That is friendship. 719 00:27:59,028 --> 00:28:01,694 And that is... that is the bond of friendship 720 00:28:01,696 --> 00:28:03,327 that can never be broken. 721 00:28:03,329 --> 00:28:04,627 - I mean, maybe. - Yeah. 722 00:28:04,629 --> 00:28:06,461 Oh, look, they wrote "Sex Pact 2018." 723 00:28:06,463 --> 00:28:09,294 I fucking knew it! I love puzzles. 724 00:28:09,296 --> 00:28:10,826 I told you guys. Have you seen Inferno? 725 00:28:10,828 --> 00:28:12,561 - Lis, have you seen Inferno? - Call your kid. 726 00:28:12,563 --> 00:28:14,027 Have you guys seen Inferno? 727 00:28:14,029 --> 00:28:15,893 I figured it out in two seconds. Did you see Inferno? 728 00:28:15,895 --> 00:28:17,728 The guy jumps off the thing in the beginning. 729 00:28:17,730 --> 00:28:19,760 He's got a virus. Have you seen Inferno with Tom Hanks? 730 00:28:19,762 --> 00:28:21,427 Okay. Okay, she's not answering her phone. 731 00:28:21,429 --> 00:28:22,660 Yeah, Kayla isn't, either. 732 00:28:22,662 --> 00:28:23,926 Okay, what the heck is happening? 733 00:28:23,928 --> 00:28:25,661 She's always been honest with me. 734 00:28:25,663 --> 00:28:27,326 She's always told me the truth, 735 00:28:27,328 --> 00:28:29,727 and now I'm just swimming in a pool of lies. 736 00:28:29,729 --> 00:28:31,360 Okay. Here's what's gonna happen. 737 00:28:31,362 --> 00:28:33,993 She's gonna have sex with that Austin kid, 738 00:28:33,995 --> 00:28:36,426 and then she's gonna think that she has 739 00:28:36,428 --> 00:28:39,561 all these feelings, which she does not actually have, 740 00:28:39,563 --> 00:28:41,792 then she's gonna drive across country 741 00:28:41,794 --> 00:28:45,027 and follow him and ruin her fucking life. 742 00:28:45,029 --> 00:28:46,560 Okay, I think that's a pretty big 743 00:28:46,562 --> 00:28:47,927 leap to make when you read a... 744 00:28:47,929 --> 00:28:51,394 I have invested every single piece of my being 745 00:28:51,396 --> 00:28:53,261 into preparing Kayla for success, and now this? 746 00:28:53,263 --> 00:28:57,793 She is about to have sex with some dipshit with a "man bun." 747 00:28:57,795 --> 00:29:00,427 You're not using those in the right way. 748 00:29:00,429 --> 00:29:02,560 Hey, can we all come back to "planet Earth"? 749 00:29:02,562 --> 00:29:04,327 'Cause this is not a big deal. 750 00:29:04,329 --> 00:29:05,927 They're teenage girls. They have sex. 751 00:29:05,929 --> 00:29:09,730 Do you, like, freak out when you see a bee fucking a flower? 752 00:29:13,029 --> 00:29:15,460 - I'm gonna stop her. - I'm in. 753 00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:17,326 Let's cock-block those motherfuckers. 754 00:29:17,328 --> 00:29:19,360 Whoa. 755 00:29:19,362 --> 00:29:20,792 No, sir. Uh-uh. No, no, no, no. 756 00:29:20,794 --> 00:29:22,560 I promised Sam the greatest night of her life, 757 00:29:22,562 --> 00:29:24,027 and if you guys fuck up your daughters' night, 758 00:29:24,029 --> 00:29:25,627 it's gonna fuck up my daughter's night, 759 00:29:25,629 --> 00:29:27,361 and that shit is "not cool." 760 00:29:27,363 --> 00:29:28,760 I don't give a fuck what's cool with you. 761 00:29:28,762 --> 00:29:30,560 Let's go, Mitchell. I'll drive. 762 00:29:30,562 --> 00:29:31,926 Hey, hey, hey, wait! No, no, no. 763 00:29:31,928 --> 00:29:33,326 You want to go? 764 00:29:33,328 --> 00:29:34,693 You're gonna have to go through me. 765 00:29:34,695 --> 00:29:35,994 Oh, Jesus. 766 00:29:35,996 --> 00:29:37,694 Okay, you called my bluff. Wait. 767 00:29:37,696 --> 00:29:39,360 Wait! Hey, hey! 768 00:29:39,362 --> 00:29:40,760 - Get off! Get off of me! - Hey! Hey! 769 00:29:40,762 --> 00:29:42,627 - Get off! - It's not cool! 770 00:29:42,629 --> 00:29:44,361 "It's not cool!" 771 00:29:44,363 --> 00:29:46,728 Hey! What's the plan? This is stupid. 772 00:29:50,029 --> 00:29:52,260 Fuck off. 773 00:29:52,262 --> 00:29:54,460 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. What the fuck are you doing? 774 00:29:54,462 --> 00:29:56,760 I just need to talk to my daughter for five minutes. 775 00:29:56,762 --> 00:29:58,293 Get out of the car! 776 00:29:58,295 --> 00:29:59,792 - You get out. You get out. - You get out. 777 00:29:59,794 --> 00:30:01,493 - Stop saying what I'm saying. - Open the door! 778 00:30:01,495 --> 00:30:03,027 - Stop saying what I'm saying. - Stop saying what I'm saying. 779 00:30:03,029 --> 00:30:04,628 - Stop... Okay, listen, listen. - Hey. 780 00:30:04,630 --> 00:30:06,293 Lis. Okay, everyone calm down, calm down. 781 00:30:06,295 --> 00:30:07,827 - But you got to go. - The-the window. 782 00:30:07,829 --> 00:30:09,693 - No, the window. - Hey. 783 00:30:09,695 --> 00:30:11,826 What the fuck? No! Holy... 784 00:30:14,761 --> 00:30:16,026 Ah, these are new shorts! 785 00:30:16,028 --> 00:30:17,293 Truce! Truce! 786 00:30:17,295 --> 00:30:18,394 Truce. 787 00:30:18,396 --> 00:30:20,560 Truce, truce, truce. 788 00:30:20,562 --> 00:30:22,294 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 789 00:30:22,296 --> 00:30:23,826 Oh, my fucking God. 790 00:30:23,828 --> 00:30:24,762 Aah! 791 00:30:25,862 --> 00:30:26,959 Sorry, man. 792 00:30:26,961 --> 00:30:28,261 It's not gonna work. 793 00:30:28,263 --> 00:30:29,597 You're not Schwarzenegger. 794 00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:33,427 How is that possible? 795 00:30:33,429 --> 00:30:35,293 How is that possible? Oh, shit. 796 00:30:35,295 --> 00:30:36,859 Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh! 797 00:30:36,861 --> 00:30:38,261 Oh, my balls! My balls! 798 00:30:38,263 --> 00:30:39,594 Your ass is so... 799 00:30:40,761 --> 00:30:42,793 - Get... - Hey! Hey! 800 00:30:42,795 --> 00:30:44,393 - Get out! - Not cool! Aah! 801 00:30:44,395 --> 00:30:45,827 You're bullying me. 802 00:30:45,829 --> 00:30:47,027 This is bullying. 803 00:30:47,029 --> 00:30:49,426 What you're doing is wrong! 804 00:30:49,428 --> 00:30:51,759 You know your daughter's in this stupid sex pact, too. 805 00:30:51,761 --> 00:30:54,293 Yeah, and she's not gonna do anything about it, okay? 806 00:30:54,295 --> 00:30:56,360 Oh, like you would know what your daughter's gonna do. 807 00:30:56,362 --> 00:30:58,360 Okay, first of all, ouch. 808 00:30:58,362 --> 00:30:59,859 Second of all, I know nothing 809 00:30:59,861 --> 00:31:02,294 is gonna happen with Sam because... 810 00:31:02,296 --> 00:31:03,860 because she's gay. 811 00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:05,026 Really? 812 00:31:05,028 --> 00:31:06,659 Did she come out to you? 813 00:31:06,661 --> 00:31:07,726 No, of course not. 814 00:31:07,728 --> 00:31:09,327 She barely speaks to me. 815 00:31:09,329 --> 00:31:10,727 Then how do you know? 816 00:31:10,729 --> 00:31:12,026 Because, bro, I'm her dad. 817 00:31:12,028 --> 00:31:14,026 And there's just some things you know. 818 00:31:14,028 --> 00:31:15,360 Chad is nothing. 819 00:31:15,362 --> 00:31:16,626 He's like a beard. 820 00:31:16,628 --> 00:31:18,560 Or whatever a lesbian beard is. 821 00:31:18,562 --> 00:31:19,626 A merkin? 822 00:31:19,628 --> 00:31:21,026 I don't know. The point is, 823 00:31:21,028 --> 00:31:23,293 I guarantee you they don't even kiss, okay? 824 00:31:23,295 --> 00:31:24,926 I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about 825 00:31:24,928 --> 00:31:26,792 you two dicks fucking up her night. 826 00:31:26,794 --> 00:31:28,993 Okay, well, what you don't understand is that sex 827 00:31:28,995 --> 00:31:31,526 can be very confusing for young girls 828 00:31:31,528 --> 00:31:34,494 and make them say things and do things that they might regret. 829 00:31:34,496 --> 00:31:35,960 Like dropping out of college 830 00:31:35,962 --> 00:31:38,260 to follow around the Dave Matthews Band 831 00:31:38,262 --> 00:31:39,727 with a guy they think they love 832 00:31:39,729 --> 00:31:41,726 who then winds up getting them pregnant 833 00:31:41,728 --> 00:31:44,327 and then leaving them for the girl who makes 834 00:31:44,329 --> 00:31:47,763 grilled cheese sandwiches with hash aioli on them. 835 00:31:48,894 --> 00:31:50,959 Yeah, that is a... 836 00:31:50,961 --> 00:31:54,659 extremely specific scenario, and that won't happen to Julie. 837 00:31:54,661 --> 00:31:56,293 Dave's not even touring right now. 838 00:31:56,295 --> 00:31:57,826 He's taking time off for fatherhood. 839 00:31:57,828 --> 00:31:59,593 It was me, you idiot. 840 00:31:59,595 --> 00:32:01,592 Me. That happened to me. 841 00:32:01,594 --> 00:32:03,261 Yeah. 842 00:32:03,263 --> 00:32:05,660 ♪ Yeah, move somethin', move somethin' ♪ 843 00:32:05,662 --> 00:32:08,294 ♪ Make you wanna do somethin', do somethin' ♪ 844 00:32:08,296 --> 00:32:10,726 ♪ Dance for the night, live for the day ♪ 845 00:32:10,728 --> 00:32:13,327 ♪ Hey, ho, hey ♪ 846 00:32:13,329 --> 00:32:15,394 ♪ Yeah, move somethin', move somethin'... ♪ 847 00:32:15,396 --> 00:32:17,294 You weren't ready. Okay, one more, one more. 848 00:32:17,296 --> 00:32:18,793 Smile. 849 00:32:18,795 --> 00:32:19,793 I closed my eyes. 850 00:32:19,795 --> 00:32:21,792 Oh, my God. 851 00:32:21,794 --> 00:32:23,926 You guys, this is our song. 852 00:32:23,928 --> 00:32:26,361 Do you remember when we got snowed in at Sam's 853 00:32:26,363 --> 00:32:27,892 and we played this, like, over and over? 854 00:32:27,894 --> 00:32:29,361 - Yes! - We have to dance! 855 00:32:29,363 --> 00:32:30,892 - We have to dance! - This is our jam! 856 00:32:30,894 --> 00:32:33,293 ♪ Scream my name ♪ 857 00:32:33,295 --> 00:32:35,327 ♪ I love me ♪ 858 00:32:35,329 --> 00:32:37,860 ♪ Gonna love myself, no, I don't need anybody else ♪ 859 00:32:37,862 --> 00:32:39,860 ♪ Hey, gonna love myself ♪ 860 00:32:39,862 --> 00:32:41,461 ♪ No, I don't need anybody else ♪ 861 00:32:41,463 --> 00:32:43,327 ♪ I love me, can't help myself ♪ 862 00:32:43,329 --> 00:32:45,327 ♪ No, I don't need anybody else... ♪ 863 00:32:45,329 --> 00:32:46,460 - Hey. Hey. - Hey. 864 00:32:46,462 --> 00:32:47,527 - I want a drink. - Okay. 865 00:32:47,529 --> 00:32:48,560 Yeah, let's go get one. 866 00:32:48,562 --> 00:32:50,659 No, no, no, no. Like, a drink. 867 00:32:50,661 --> 00:32:51,893 Oh, you want a "drink" drink. 868 00:32:51,895 --> 00:32:53,827 - Yeah. - Okay, let me call my guy. 869 00:32:53,829 --> 00:32:55,526 Hello, Mr. Drink-Drink. 870 00:32:55,528 --> 00:32:58,294 - Let's go get fucked up. - Okay. 871 00:32:58,296 --> 00:33:00,293 Hey, wait, Kayla, Kayla. 872 00:33:00,295 --> 00:33:01,592 Ah, it's... 873 00:33:01,594 --> 00:33:04,426 ♪ Any time that I like ♪ 874 00:33:04,428 --> 00:33:05,895 ♪ I love me... ♪ 875 00:33:11,428 --> 00:33:13,526 Hey, Chad. 876 00:33:13,528 --> 00:33:15,361 I'm gonna go get, uh, some dessert. 877 00:33:15,363 --> 00:33:17,326 Get me two. 878 00:33:17,328 --> 00:33:20,993 ♪ The beautiful, it comes without you, yeah ♪ 879 00:33:20,995 --> 00:33:24,892 ♪ I'm gonna put my body first ♪ 880 00:33:24,894 --> 00:33:26,927 ♪ And love me so hard... ♪ 881 00:33:26,929 --> 00:33:29,493 Hey, Angelica, it's a nice cape. 882 00:33:29,495 --> 00:33:31,261 Oh, hey, Sam. 883 00:33:31,263 --> 00:33:33,492 Thank you. 884 00:33:33,494 --> 00:33:35,493 ♪ Scream the words... ♪ 885 00:33:35,495 --> 00:33:37,760 Um, yeah, it's a... it's a Galadriel cape 886 00:33:37,762 --> 00:33:39,893 that I made a couple months ago for LordCon. 887 00:33:39,895 --> 00:33:41,559 Figured I could wear it again. 888 00:33:41,561 --> 00:33:43,993 Not too much overlap on the guest list. 889 00:33:43,995 --> 00:33:45,727 Yeah. 890 00:33:45,729 --> 00:33:47,726 Yeah, totally. 891 00:33:49,362 --> 00:33:51,394 Who'd you come here with? 892 00:33:51,396 --> 00:33:53,492 Um, just my friends. 893 00:33:53,494 --> 00:33:55,929 Lauren and I broke up. 894 00:33:57,263 --> 00:33:58,394 Oh. 895 00:33:58,396 --> 00:34:00,027 No hard feelings, though. 896 00:34:00,029 --> 00:34:03,430 Um, she's still a little confused. 897 00:34:04,828 --> 00:34:07,559 How do you think one becomes... 898 00:34:07,561 --> 00:34:10,460 not confused? 899 00:34:10,462 --> 00:34:13,893 It's probably different for everyone. 900 00:34:13,895 --> 00:34:16,293 But for me, when I kissed Brad Markowski, 901 00:34:16,295 --> 00:34:17,659 I started to suspect it. 902 00:34:17,661 --> 00:34:19,294 And then last year, when I touched 903 00:34:19,296 --> 00:34:22,460 Dash Lowenstein's dick, I was like, "Fuck no." 904 00:34:22,462 --> 00:34:24,692 It was like holding a dead snake. 905 00:34:24,694 --> 00:34:25,929 Hmm. 906 00:34:28,296 --> 00:34:30,429 But I guess you never know until you try. 907 00:34:31,794 --> 00:34:35,293 ♪ I know how to scream my own name ♪ 908 00:34:35,295 --> 00:34:39,260 ♪ Scream my name... ♪ 909 00:34:39,262 --> 00:34:40,926 Uh, before I do drink this, though, 910 00:34:40,928 --> 00:34:42,560 I just want to let you know 911 00:34:42,562 --> 00:34:44,696 that I am fully planning on having sex tonight. 912 00:34:46,329 --> 00:34:47,792 With... with you. 913 00:34:47,794 --> 00:34:50,827 Yeah, I-I mean, wherever the wind blows us. 914 00:34:50,829 --> 00:34:52,994 Well, the wind's gonna blow us there. 915 00:34:52,996 --> 00:34:54,660 Wherever the night takes us, it's... 916 00:34:54,662 --> 00:34:56,492 It's gonna take your penis into my vagina. 917 00:34:56,494 --> 00:35:00,327 Okay, uh, you know, if the universe wills it. 918 00:35:00,329 --> 00:35:02,429 And the universe will will it. 919 00:35:04,329 --> 00:35:06,728 Thanks for letting me know, I guess. 920 00:35:07,995 --> 00:35:09,526 Oh, yeah. 921 00:35:09,528 --> 00:35:11,393 - Oh, my God. - I warned you. 922 00:35:11,395 --> 00:35:12,827 - This is what gin tastes like? - No, no. 923 00:35:12,829 --> 00:35:14,425 I've heard that gin sucks, and this sucks. 924 00:35:14,427 --> 00:35:15,460 No, it's... 925 00:35:15,462 --> 00:35:18,493 - I made it. Um... - Oh. 926 00:35:18,495 --> 00:35:20,593 This is so dumb, okay? 927 00:35:20,595 --> 00:35:21,927 Our kids are gonna hate us 928 00:35:21,929 --> 00:35:23,361 because you're gonna humiliate them. 929 00:35:23,363 --> 00:35:25,261 I'm not gonna humiliate Julie. 930 00:35:25,263 --> 00:35:27,027 We're best friends. I'm the cool mom. 931 00:35:27,029 --> 00:35:28,927 Hunter, don't make me sit on your balls again. 932 00:35:28,929 --> 00:35:31,260 Stop, stop, stop it, stop, stop. 933 00:35:31,262 --> 00:35:33,993 This is how they're gonna be remembered in high school. 934 00:35:33,995 --> 00:35:36,959 As the weirdos whose parents dragged them out of prom 935 00:35:36,961 --> 00:35:38,692 because they were afraid of their sexuality. 936 00:35:38,694 --> 00:35:40,260 It's not something that should be feared. 937 00:35:40,262 --> 00:35:41,829 It should be celebrated. 938 00:35:43,595 --> 00:35:45,892 And-and-and we have to empower these young women. 939 00:35:45,894 --> 00:35:47,660 I mean, what year is it, guys? 940 00:35:47,662 --> 00:35:49,993 It's 2018. 941 00:35:49,995 --> 00:35:50,994 Jesus Christ. 942 00:35:50,996 --> 00:35:53,426 - Oh, gross. - Okay, you know what? 943 00:35:53,428 --> 00:35:54,859 That's an unfortunate coincidence. 944 00:35:54,861 --> 00:35:56,293 Get a fucking room! 945 00:35:57,695 --> 00:36:01,027 ♪ The good life is the life for me... ♪ 946 00:36:04,629 --> 00:36:06,559 Let's take a picture. 947 00:36:06,561 --> 00:36:08,459 Kayla! Let's take a picture right now. 948 00:36:08,461 --> 00:36:09,727 - Okay, cool. - Right now. Right now. 949 00:36:09,729 --> 00:36:11,326 Cheese. 950 00:36:11,328 --> 00:36:14,027 Oh, my God, my mom called me like 15 times. 951 00:36:14,029 --> 00:36:15,692 - Ooh. Nope. - She's crazy. 952 00:36:15,694 --> 00:36:16,993 - No, that's a no. - That's kind of funny. 953 00:36:16,995 --> 00:36:19,559 - Boom. Airplane mode. - No. 954 00:36:19,561 --> 00:36:21,927 Yeah. We're flying the friendly skies now. 955 00:36:21,929 --> 00:36:23,459 Yeah, till she freaks out. 956 00:36:23,461 --> 00:36:24,826 Hey, can we please, like, get out of here? 957 00:36:24,828 --> 00:36:26,626 No. We can't go right now. 958 00:36:26,628 --> 00:36:28,525 They haven't even played me and Austin's song yet. 959 00:36:28,527 --> 00:36:29,993 How are we gonna get in the mood? 960 00:36:29,995 --> 00:36:31,426 I don't know, light your Walgreens candle. 961 00:36:31,428 --> 00:36:33,726 That's later. Don't you want... Look, look. 962 00:36:33,728 --> 00:36:36,027 Jake Donahue is just warming up. 963 00:36:36,029 --> 00:36:37,827 Don't you want to see him break-dance 964 00:36:37,829 --> 00:36:39,360 - and probably hurt himself? - No. 965 00:36:39,362 --> 00:36:40,527 - It's gonna be so good. - I don't. 966 00:36:40,529 --> 00:36:42,592 Do you remember at the Sadie Hawkins Dance 967 00:36:42,594 --> 00:36:43,959 when he tried to do the worm 968 00:36:43,961 --> 00:36:45,859 and he fell and broke his two front teeth? 969 00:36:45,861 --> 00:36:47,859 - Yeah. He had to go to the hospital. - I have pictures. 970 00:36:47,861 --> 00:36:49,692 - It was great, and this is gonna be better. - Mm... 971 00:36:49,694 --> 00:36:51,260 - No, no, no. No! - So we're staying. 972 00:36:51,262 --> 00:36:52,993 Julie, Julie, I promise that you're 973 00:36:52,995 --> 00:36:55,293 gonna dance to your song with your boyfriend tonight. 974 00:36:55,295 --> 00:36:56,993 This place is dying, okay? 975 00:36:56,995 --> 00:36:59,492 - We got to get out of here. - Okay, fine. 976 00:36:59,494 --> 00:37:02,293 Okay, cool. Let's go. 977 00:37:02,295 --> 00:37:04,026 We're going to the lake house. 978 00:37:04,028 --> 00:37:06,525 I am not sure that this was worth $85. 979 00:37:06,527 --> 00:37:08,559 - Where's Chad? - What? 980 00:37:08,561 --> 00:37:10,593 Oh, he's probably out on the dance floor. 981 00:37:10,595 --> 00:37:12,760 I'm gonna go find him and meet you guys outside. 982 00:37:12,762 --> 00:37:14,727 - All right. - Okay. 983 00:37:29,261 --> 00:37:30,628 The fuck? 984 00:37:34,029 --> 00:37:36,560 Smirking little piece of shit. 985 00:37:36,562 --> 00:37:38,525 - Top knot. Top knot. - Let's get him. 986 00:37:38,527 --> 00:37:40,492 Yeah, you guys go do that. 987 00:37:40,494 --> 00:37:42,559 I'm gonna get some punch. 988 00:37:42,561 --> 00:37:45,359 All right, asshole, what'd you do with my daughter? 989 00:37:45,361 --> 00:37:47,292 Two of you guys have the same shitty haircut? 990 00:37:47,294 --> 00:37:48,559 Hey. 991 00:37:48,561 --> 00:37:50,892 Look at me. My hair's too long. 992 00:37:50,894 --> 00:37:54,426 Hey. You can't go around assaulting children. 993 00:37:54,428 --> 00:37:57,860 You have to blend in if you want some information, okay? 994 00:37:57,862 --> 00:38:00,326 So just... just be cool. 995 00:38:00,328 --> 00:38:01,993 God. 996 00:38:01,995 --> 00:38:03,959 Okay. 997 00:38:03,961 --> 00:38:05,295 Julie? 998 00:38:06,461 --> 00:38:07,560 Julie? 999 00:38:07,562 --> 00:38:09,893 ♪ Nothing lasts forever ♪ 1000 00:38:09,895 --> 00:38:13,793 ♪ But we won't know till we try... ♪ 1001 00:38:13,795 --> 00:38:15,827 Prom night, huh? 1002 00:38:15,829 --> 00:38:18,259 What? 1003 00:38:18,261 --> 00:38:21,593 Just... just special night. 1004 00:38:22,962 --> 00:38:26,727 ♪ You make me feel so alive... ♪ 1005 00:38:26,729 --> 00:38:28,462 Got to try. 1006 00:38:29,962 --> 00:38:34,859 ♪ You make me feel so alive... ♪ 1007 00:38:34,861 --> 00:38:36,395 - Chad? - Yeah. 1008 00:38:45,395 --> 00:38:48,693 ♪ Oh... ♪ 1009 00:38:48,695 --> 00:38:50,325 ♪ One for the money ♪ 1010 00:38:50,327 --> 00:38:52,727 ♪ Give me all your money ♪ 1011 00:38:52,729 --> 00:38:54,759 ♪ Oh... ♪ 1012 00:38:54,761 --> 00:38:56,960 This is my moment. 1013 00:38:56,962 --> 00:38:58,860 ♪ One for the money ♪ 1014 00:38:58,862 --> 00:39:00,960 ♪ We gonna make you lose control ♪ 1015 00:39:07,962 --> 00:39:09,496 ♪ We gonna make you lose control... ♪ 1016 00:39:13,427 --> 00:39:15,693 You ruined my moment! 1017 00:39:15,695 --> 00:39:18,259 Fuck your moment. 1018 00:39:18,261 --> 00:39:19,526 - What happened back there? - What happened is that... 1019 00:39:19,528 --> 00:39:22,526 is that my daughter was kissing Chad even though she hated it. 1020 00:39:22,528 --> 00:39:23,960 And I've been dragged into this situation 1021 00:39:23,962 --> 00:39:26,325 - by you two fucking idiots. - Just ignore him. 1022 00:39:26,327 --> 00:39:27,726 - Great idea. - We're gonna go to Austin's house. 1023 00:39:27,728 --> 00:39:29,360 Julie said that's where the after-party is, 1024 00:39:29,362 --> 00:39:31,325 - and we'll get 'em there. - And that sounds like a plan. 1025 00:39:31,327 --> 00:39:32,659 Hey, how dare you ignore me. 1026 00:39:32,661 --> 00:39:34,426 We are in this situation because you two 1027 00:39:34,428 --> 00:39:36,492 raised a couple of bigots who have shamed my daughter 1028 00:39:36,494 --> 00:39:38,026 into losing her virginity to the wrong sex. 1029 00:39:38,028 --> 00:39:40,026 Shame. 1030 00:39:40,028 --> 00:39:42,860 My daughter is not a bigot. 1031 00:39:44,029 --> 00:39:45,893 We go to all of the marches. 1032 00:39:45,895 --> 00:39:48,826 We went to the Tax Day March, and nobody goes to that shit. 1033 00:39:48,828 --> 00:39:50,727 - Nobody. - Ignore him. 1034 00:39:50,729 --> 00:39:51,860 - It's hard. - Yeah, it is hard. 1035 00:39:51,862 --> 00:39:53,027 'Cause I don't quit. 1036 00:39:53,029 --> 00:39:54,726 And now I have to go rescue Sam, 1037 00:39:54,728 --> 00:39:56,559 okay, because she is scared and confused, 1038 00:39:56,561 --> 00:39:58,860 and I know what it's like to be ostracized by society 1039 00:39:58,862 --> 00:40:00,492 for your sexual preferences. 1040 00:40:00,494 --> 00:40:02,325 Sleeping with women that aren't your wife 1041 00:40:02,327 --> 00:40:03,994 isn't a sexual preference. 1042 00:40:03,996 --> 00:40:06,325 No, it is. I prefer them. 1043 00:40:06,327 --> 00:40:08,027 How parents can let 1044 00:40:08,029 --> 00:40:09,425 their kids play music this loud. 1045 00:40:09,427 --> 00:40:11,293 We all share this planet. 1046 00:40:11,295 --> 00:40:13,425 This is how loud I listen to my music, dawg. 1047 00:40:13,427 --> 00:40:15,027 Probably won't even be able to hear us. 1048 00:40:16,328 --> 00:40:18,392 It's so dark in there. 1049 00:40:18,394 --> 00:40:20,325 You know, they... okay, they could be in the backyard 1050 00:40:20,327 --> 00:40:21,426 playing two-on-two hoops. I don't know. 1051 00:40:21,428 --> 00:40:22,425 Oh! 1052 00:40:22,427 --> 00:40:23,994 Oh, I found a big window. 1053 00:40:23,996 --> 00:40:26,292 Oh, no, no, no, don't, don't, don't. 1054 00:40:26,294 --> 00:40:28,960 Trust me. Do not look in that window. 1055 00:40:28,962 --> 00:40:30,592 - What? - Just look at me. Do not look in this window. 1056 00:40:30,594 --> 00:40:31,628 Do not look in this fucking window. 1057 00:40:33,561 --> 00:40:36,626 Julie's red dress. 1058 00:40:36,628 --> 00:40:38,795 - Yeah. - Oh, shit. 1059 00:40:41,562 --> 00:40:44,560 You know, I know... I know this must be tough for you. 1060 00:40:44,562 --> 00:40:48,525 I mean, if... hell, if that was Kayla in there, I'd... 1061 00:40:48,527 --> 00:40:50,826 - I'd-I'd kill myself. - Nope. 1062 00:40:50,828 --> 00:40:52,860 That's the wrong thing to fucking say right now. 1063 00:40:52,862 --> 00:40:54,994 - Stop them. Stop it. - I can't... 1064 00:40:54,996 --> 00:40:55,930 Wait. 1065 00:40:57,294 --> 00:40:59,326 Hey. It's not Julie. 1066 00:40:59,328 --> 00:41:02,426 - It's not Julie. - What? 1067 00:41:02,428 --> 00:41:04,392 Oh, shit. It's Austin's parents. 1068 00:41:04,394 --> 00:41:05,893 - Good for them. - They're really... 1069 00:41:05,895 --> 00:41:07,325 really going at it. 1070 00:41:07,327 --> 00:41:08,326 I always wanted to do this. 1071 00:41:08,328 --> 00:41:10,259 I've always wanted to watch people have sex. 1072 00:41:10,261 --> 00:41:11,859 Oh, my God, he's yanking her hair. 1073 00:41:11,861 --> 00:41:13,560 Ow. That looks like it hurts. 1074 00:41:13,562 --> 00:41:15,727 Yeah, we shouldn't be looking, man. Come on. 1075 00:41:15,729 --> 00:41:17,893 She runs the risk of, like, dislocating her hip. 1076 00:41:17,895 --> 00:41:19,726 Hey, Mitchell. You're being a fucking perv, dude. 1077 00:41:19,728 --> 00:41:21,425 Don't look. 1078 00:41:27,461 --> 00:41:28,726 What happened? 1079 00:41:28,728 --> 00:41:31,026 We locked eyes, and then he finished. 1080 00:41:31,028 --> 00:41:33,526 It means his load is on your soul for eternity. 1081 00:41:33,528 --> 00:41:35,526 - Holy shit. - Oh, shit, he's coming. 1082 00:41:36,661 --> 00:41:38,428 I'll pretend I'm a plant. 1083 00:41:42,028 --> 00:41:43,326 Mitchell? What are you doing? 1084 00:41:43,328 --> 00:41:45,260 - What, Lisa? - Hey, Ron. 1085 00:41:45,262 --> 00:41:46,992 What are you guys doing out here? 1086 00:41:46,994 --> 00:41:48,326 Hi. 1087 00:41:48,328 --> 00:41:50,592 - Hey. - What a nice surprise. 1088 00:41:50,594 --> 00:41:51,859 We thought the kids were here. 1089 00:41:51,861 --> 00:41:53,026 We didn't realize you guys were here, uh... 1090 00:41:53,028 --> 00:41:55,292 Oh, Cath and I were just having 1091 00:41:55,294 --> 00:41:56,927 a little, uh, prom night role play. 1092 00:41:56,929 --> 00:41:59,560 - You know, to keep the sex life alive. - Prom night. 1093 00:41:59,562 --> 00:42:00,693 - That kind of thing. - Where are the kids? 1094 00:42:00,695 --> 00:42:01,659 Um, do you know where the kids are? 1095 00:42:01,661 --> 00:42:04,826 The kids are at Kyler Montero's lake house. 1096 00:42:04,828 --> 00:42:06,960 - How do you know that? - Because Austin told us. 1097 00:42:06,962 --> 00:42:10,525 Yeah. He's texted me like 19 times tonight. 1098 00:42:10,527 --> 00:42:13,026 - Ugh. Oh, my God. - Yeah, we tell each other everything. 1099 00:42:13,028 --> 00:42:15,493 - It's unbelievable. - I mean, he-he knows about prom night. 1100 00:42:15,495 --> 00:42:16,993 - Well, you know. - I'm sorry, you... 1101 00:42:16,995 --> 00:42:19,659 you tell your son about your sex games with your wife? 1102 00:42:19,661 --> 00:42:21,559 - Uh-huh. Yeah. - Wow, that's... 1103 00:42:21,561 --> 00:42:23,425 - Can't do that. - Yeah, it's weird. 1104 00:42:23,427 --> 00:42:24,992 - It's so... it's-it's weird. - There's a line. 1105 00:42:24,994 --> 00:42:26,992 - We have a very open family here. - Yes, we do. 1106 00:42:26,994 --> 00:42:28,726 - We don't hide anything. - You know what? 1107 00:42:28,728 --> 00:42:29,958 What is Kyler's address? 1108 00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:32,325 I-I... Okay, listen, I-I feel like 1109 00:42:32,327 --> 00:42:34,827 I can't betray Austin's confidence in me, 1110 00:42:34,829 --> 00:42:36,993 and frankly, if Julie wanted to tell you 1111 00:42:36,995 --> 00:42:39,592 where the house was, she would have told you. 1112 00:42:39,594 --> 00:42:40,792 - Uh-uh. - Uh, I got... 1113 00:42:40,794 --> 00:42:41,893 Hold on, hold on. Buh-buh-buh. 1114 00:42:41,895 --> 00:42:43,492 Give us the address, 1115 00:42:43,494 --> 00:42:44,792 or my giant friend's gonna tear 1116 00:42:44,794 --> 00:42:46,326 - your husband's dick off. - Yeah. 1117 00:42:46,328 --> 00:42:47,892 Uh... no, I'm not. 1118 00:42:47,894 --> 00:42:49,627 - No, I'm not. No, no, no. - Excuse me? - What? 1119 00:42:49,629 --> 00:42:51,692 That's... that's good. 1120 00:42:51,694 --> 00:42:53,826 And, uh, sorry to interrupt your evening. 1121 00:42:53,828 --> 00:42:56,492 I hope you guys enjoy the rest of your lovemaking. 1122 00:42:56,494 --> 00:42:57,493 - Ow! Fuck! - Come on. 1123 00:42:57,495 --> 00:42:58,593 - What was that about? - What? 1124 00:42:58,595 --> 00:43:00,292 Hey, man, thank you for killing 1125 00:43:00,294 --> 00:43:01,827 - my daughter's hymen. - I don't think so. 1126 00:43:01,829 --> 00:43:03,892 Kyler Montero's lake house? Marcie did the bathroom. 1127 00:43:03,894 --> 00:43:06,426 She's gonna know the address, so let's just go. 1128 00:43:06,428 --> 00:43:08,326 - All right, dope. - Dope. 1129 00:43:09,829 --> 00:43:11,826 - Ow, my eyes! - Yeah! 1130 00:43:11,828 --> 00:43:14,293 Okay, come on in now. 1131 00:43:14,295 --> 00:43:16,559 It's all fun and games until there's a decapitation. 1132 00:43:16,561 --> 00:43:18,925 I don't need any more dead girls on my conscience. 1133 00:43:18,927 --> 00:43:20,727 I'm sorry, Rudy. 1134 00:43:20,729 --> 00:43:23,660 We just had to check that off the old prom bucket list. 1135 00:43:23,662 --> 00:43:25,693 Oh, my God, Sam! 1136 00:43:25,695 --> 00:43:27,593 - Come here. Yeah. - Move, Chad! 1137 00:43:27,595 --> 00:43:29,627 - Chad, you want a drink? - No. 1138 00:43:29,629 --> 00:43:31,326 What you got there? 1139 00:43:31,328 --> 00:43:33,525 This is a very, very special 1140 00:43:33,527 --> 00:43:35,393 reduced hash oil of my own invention. 1141 00:43:35,395 --> 00:43:37,659 It has rosemary essence for blood flow, 1142 00:43:37,661 --> 00:43:39,260 a curcumin extract from turmeric 1143 00:43:39,262 --> 00:43:40,692 to reduce inflammation, 1144 00:43:40,694 --> 00:43:42,892 and it gets you super baked. 1145 00:43:42,894 --> 00:43:44,959 All right. 1146 00:43:44,961 --> 00:43:46,692 Let's do it. Do I just... I suck? 1147 00:43:46,694 --> 00:43:47,925 Yeah, you press the button, 1148 00:43:47,927 --> 00:43:49,493 then you take, like, a little puff. 1149 00:43:49,495 --> 00:43:51,692 Or a really, really big one. 1150 00:43:51,694 --> 00:43:53,525 Okay. 1151 00:43:53,527 --> 00:43:55,959 And then you just hold it for, like, a beat. 1152 00:43:55,961 --> 00:43:57,592 You guys know that Tanner Dunn's parents 1153 00:43:57,594 --> 00:43:58,958 rented out a whole floor 1154 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:00,959 of the Park West Hotel for an after-party? 1155 00:44:00,961 --> 00:44:02,326 What? 1156 00:44:02,328 --> 00:44:04,360 Um... yeah, he, uh... 1157 00:44:04,362 --> 00:44:06,659 I guess they're super loaded and they're still proud of him 1158 00:44:06,661 --> 00:44:08,793 even though it took him like six years to graduate. 1159 00:44:08,795 --> 00:44:11,292 I remember him. He got to, uh, miss school 1160 00:44:11,294 --> 00:44:13,360 - when his kid was born. - Yeah, yeah, that guy. 1161 00:44:13,362 --> 00:44:15,296 You should definitely let it go now. 1162 00:44:18,595 --> 00:44:19,926 - Holy shit. - Oh, yeah. 1163 00:44:19,928 --> 00:44:21,693 I can run a six-minute mile. 1164 00:44:21,695 --> 00:44:23,992 My lung capacity is legit. 1165 00:44:23,994 --> 00:44:25,992 - No! - One more selfie, and this time, 1166 00:44:25,994 --> 00:44:27,493 let's pose like Kanye. 1167 00:44:27,495 --> 00:44:28,827 - No. Boo! - Yes. 1168 00:44:28,829 --> 00:44:30,826 - You take too many pictures. - Uh... 1169 00:44:30,828 --> 00:44:32,925 They don't look like him. 1170 00:44:32,927 --> 00:44:35,825 Ugh, it's just a bunch of paint samples and swatches. 1171 00:44:35,827 --> 00:44:37,726 Hunter, quiet. 1172 00:44:37,728 --> 00:44:39,026 Why do I have to be quiet? 1173 00:44:39,028 --> 00:44:40,858 Shit would not fly if Marcie found out. 1174 00:44:40,860 --> 00:44:42,393 Who wears the pants in this house, dawg? 1175 00:44:42,395 --> 00:44:44,492 - I do. - Oh! 1176 00:44:47,395 --> 00:44:48,626 Mmm. 1177 00:44:48,628 --> 00:44:50,559 This is soy creamer? Are you sure? 1178 00:44:50,561 --> 00:44:52,559 It's pretty freaking rich. 1179 00:44:52,561 --> 00:44:54,627 This is so messed up. Who are you to get involved 1180 00:44:54,629 --> 00:44:56,593 in our daughter's sex life? 1181 00:44:56,595 --> 00:44:58,759 - Oh, honey, I was just try... - No, don't "honey" me. 1182 00:44:58,761 --> 00:45:01,425 Did your dad try to stop you when you lost your virginity? 1183 00:45:01,427 --> 00:45:02,393 That's totally different. 1184 00:45:02,395 --> 00:45:04,259 It is not different. It's a double standard. 1185 00:45:04,261 --> 00:45:06,659 Oh, when a guy loses his virginity, it-it's no big deal. 1186 00:45:06,661 --> 00:45:08,360 It's celebrated, but if a girl does, 1187 00:45:08,362 --> 00:45:10,292 it's some sort of big loss of innocence? 1188 00:45:10,294 --> 00:45:11,792 - Yes. - But come on, you guys. 1189 00:45:11,794 --> 00:45:12,992 It's the same damn thing. 1190 00:45:12,994 --> 00:45:14,891 Oh, Marcie! 1191 00:45:14,893 --> 00:45:16,858 Stop talking. 1192 00:45:16,860 --> 00:45:19,993 - Just give us the address. - Just give us the address. 1193 00:45:19,995 --> 00:45:23,325 Honestly, Lisa, I can't believe you're on their side. 1194 00:45:23,327 --> 00:45:26,325 Side? This is not some philosophical debate. 1195 00:45:26,327 --> 00:45:27,992 We're trying to stop our daughters 1196 00:45:27,994 --> 00:45:30,992 from some kind of sex pact that they've planned 1197 00:45:30,994 --> 00:45:33,025 and not thought through all the way. 1198 00:45:33,027 --> 00:45:33,959 That is such bullshit. 1199 00:45:33,961 --> 00:45:36,259 How do you expect society to treat women 1200 00:45:36,261 --> 00:45:38,791 as if they're equal when their own parents won't? 1201 00:45:38,793 --> 00:45:40,659 I don't know about that. 1202 00:45:40,661 --> 00:45:42,425 I'll deal with society tomorrow. 1203 00:45:42,427 --> 00:45:44,326 Right now I'm thinking about my daughter. 1204 00:45:44,328 --> 00:45:45,393 Well, that is... that's convenient. 1205 00:45:45,395 --> 00:45:46,592 Yeah. You know what? 1206 00:45:46,594 --> 00:45:48,260 Go ahead and be part of the group 1207 00:45:48,262 --> 00:45:49,592 that perceives women as little 1208 00:45:49,594 --> 00:45:51,859 damsels in distress that need saving. 1209 00:45:51,861 --> 00:45:53,792 Who cares about us not getting paid as much 1210 00:45:53,794 --> 00:45:55,958 or not having control of our own bodies? 1211 00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:57,626 Can you please not talk to me 1212 00:45:57,628 --> 00:45:59,693 like I'm someone who bombs abortion clinics? 1213 00:45:59,695 --> 00:46:00,692 I think we're a little off topic. 1214 00:46:00,694 --> 00:46:01,627 Just... we need the address. 1215 00:46:01,629 --> 00:46:04,325 I just can't believe that you think Julie 1216 00:46:04,327 --> 00:46:06,325 shouldn't be free to explore her sexuality 1217 00:46:06,327 --> 00:46:08,325 in the same way that boys are. 1218 00:46:08,327 --> 00:46:11,626 Girls and boys are very different. 1219 00:46:11,628 --> 00:46:14,259 Guys will take whatever's in front of them. 1220 00:46:14,261 --> 00:46:16,493 We have these feelings, and then... 1221 00:46:16,495 --> 00:46:19,826 your parents won't let you see the man. 1222 00:46:19,828 --> 00:46:22,926 And then he just writes a lot of letters, 1223 00:46:22,928 --> 00:46:24,492 but you don't get them 1224 00:46:24,494 --> 00:46:26,526 because your mom doesn't give them to you, 1225 00:46:26,528 --> 00:46:28,925 and then it starts raining really hard 1226 00:46:28,927 --> 00:46:31,293 'cause he built a house for you, 1227 00:46:31,295 --> 00:46:35,492 and... and then it's... 1228 00:46:35,494 --> 00:46:37,693 - Mitchell, did you get the address? - Yep. 1229 00:46:37,695 --> 00:46:38,926 - What? - I'm really sorry. I'll call you tomorrow. 1230 00:46:38,928 --> 00:46:40,859 - I'm just really stressed out. - It was so good to see you. 1231 00:46:40,861 --> 00:46:42,659 Was that The Notebook? 1232 00:46:42,661 --> 00:46:45,493 Fucking fuck off, Hunter. Goddamn it! Mitchell! 1233 00:46:45,495 --> 00:46:46,826 I love you. I'm doing this for our daughter. 1234 00:46:46,828 --> 00:46:48,426 - I'll be home late. - Fucking shit! 1235 00:46:48,428 --> 00:46:51,025 ♪ See, I'm gonna get it 'cause I play the game... ♪ 1236 00:46:51,027 --> 00:46:52,726 To the loss of our innocence. 1237 00:46:57,761 --> 00:46:59,493 Oh! 1238 00:46:59,495 --> 00:47:00,692 - Come on. - Ooh! 1239 00:47:00,694 --> 00:47:01,992 You guys. 1240 00:47:01,994 --> 00:47:03,493 This is the best night. 1241 00:47:03,495 --> 00:47:06,626 I am so drunk, super high, 1242 00:47:06,628 --> 00:47:08,858 and Connor has a little something-something 1243 00:47:08,860 --> 00:47:11,592 that I feel I need to go check out. 1244 00:47:11,594 --> 00:47:13,958 All right. It's fuck o'clock. 1245 00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:15,727 - No way. You, too? - Yep. 1246 00:47:17,528 --> 00:47:19,758 - These are macarons. - Ooh. 1247 00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:21,726 With a very special concoction of mine 1248 00:47:21,728 --> 00:47:23,627 that I call Wavy Davy. 1249 00:47:23,629 --> 00:47:26,359 So it's DMT that I get from the Dark Web. 1250 00:47:26,361 --> 00:47:28,325 Uh, and then there's a little tiny bit of Xanax 1251 00:47:28,327 --> 00:47:30,326 to just kind of take the edge off, you know. 1252 00:47:30,328 --> 00:47:31,325 It's pretty tight. 1253 00:47:31,327 --> 00:47:32,925 Mm, sounds pretty tight. 1254 00:47:32,927 --> 00:47:35,026 And then I bake it into a white chocolate macaron, 1255 00:47:35,028 --> 00:47:36,658 and it has, like, a raspberry filling 1256 00:47:36,660 --> 00:47:37,925 that's both, uh, light and fluffy 1257 00:47:37,927 --> 00:47:40,360 but also very flavorful and satisfying. 1258 00:47:40,362 --> 00:47:41,925 Are you ready? 1259 00:47:41,927 --> 00:47:44,593 - Uh, yeah. Yeah. - Yeah, let's do it. 1260 00:47:44,595 --> 00:47:45,725 Okay. 1261 00:47:45,727 --> 00:47:47,261 - Mmm. - Let's go. 1262 00:47:48,495 --> 00:47:49,692 Hmm. 1263 00:47:49,694 --> 00:47:51,926 It's yum. 1264 00:47:51,928 --> 00:47:53,396 Hmm. 1265 00:47:57,661 --> 00:47:59,493 Okay, so what do we do? We just walk in and-and flick 1266 00:47:59,495 --> 00:48:01,259 - the lights on and off until the kids come? - Shh. 1267 00:48:01,261 --> 00:48:02,792 Just act cool and young, and maybe we'll just slip in. 1268 00:48:02,794 --> 00:48:04,791 Mitchell, untuck your shirt. 1269 00:48:04,793 --> 00:48:06,459 No, it's not that kind of shirt. 1270 00:48:06,461 --> 00:48:07,692 - It looks stupid untucked. - Untuck your shirt. 1271 00:48:07,694 --> 00:48:08,891 You look like a youth minister. 1272 00:48:08,893 --> 00:48:09,991 Untuck your fucking shirt, man. 1273 00:48:09,993 --> 00:48:11,659 - We're trying to look cool. - All right. 1274 00:48:11,661 --> 00:48:12,959 Whoa, whoa. 1275 00:48:12,961 --> 00:48:14,525 Sorry, bro. Sorry, guys. 1276 00:48:14,527 --> 00:48:16,360 Sorry. My friend's wasted. 1277 00:48:16,362 --> 00:48:18,293 - Don't. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1278 00:48:18,295 --> 00:48:20,559 Hey, hey. No... no adults are getting into my house. 1279 00:48:20,561 --> 00:48:22,726 Not on prom night. Okay, not on prom. 1280 00:48:22,728 --> 00:48:24,292 We were just down the street 1281 00:48:24,294 --> 00:48:26,459 at, um, another party, and then we just decided 1282 00:48:26,461 --> 00:48:28,493 to come up here and hang with you guys. 1283 00:48:28,495 --> 00:48:30,493 Um, no parents here, right? 1284 00:48:30,495 --> 00:48:31,692 Oh, thank God. 1285 00:48:31,694 --> 00:48:32,758 No, not except for you guys. No. 1286 00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:34,259 We're not... 1287 00:48:34,261 --> 00:48:36,260 - Yeah, no. - We don't... 1288 00:48:36,262 --> 00:48:37,259 Okay, so you're cops. 1289 00:48:39,562 --> 00:48:42,659 I got two DUIs last year. How could I be a cop? 1290 00:48:42,661 --> 00:48:43,892 The police? 1291 00:48:43,894 --> 00:48:45,625 Look at my untucked shirt. 1292 00:48:45,627 --> 00:48:47,492 You're literally the cop-iest motherfucker I've ever seen. 1293 00:48:47,494 --> 00:48:50,562 You look like you got your hair cut in the back of a squad car. 1294 00:48:51,893 --> 00:48:54,259 This is a regular men's haircut. 1295 00:48:54,261 --> 00:48:55,726 Okay, this is ridiculous. 1296 00:48:55,728 --> 00:48:57,326 All right, you're minors, we're minors. 1297 00:48:57,328 --> 00:48:59,292 You're like 45 years old. 1298 00:48:59,294 --> 00:49:00,958 Fuck you. I was born in '77. 1299 00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:02,791 '87. '94. 1300 00:49:02,793 --> 00:49:05,025 We're gonna drink with you guys. 1301 00:49:05,027 --> 00:49:06,791 Would cops drink with underage kids? 1302 00:49:06,793 --> 00:49:08,393 - No. - No. 1303 00:49:08,395 --> 00:49:10,359 Okay. What about a little chugging contest? 1304 00:49:10,361 --> 00:49:11,726 Um... 1305 00:49:11,728 --> 00:49:13,359 Yeah. 1306 00:49:13,361 --> 00:49:14,362 Bring it. 1307 00:49:15,495 --> 00:49:16,658 Okay, wait. 1308 00:49:16,660 --> 00:49:17,925 I got to get the room ready. 1309 00:49:21,928 --> 00:49:24,925 Oh, wow. 1310 00:49:24,927 --> 00:49:26,393 You're really going for it, aren't you? 1311 00:49:26,395 --> 00:49:27,891 I saw this in the romantic comedy, 1312 00:49:27,893 --> 00:49:29,792 American Beauty. So good. 1313 00:49:29,794 --> 00:49:32,558 You watch the whole thing? 1314 00:49:36,761 --> 00:49:38,792 You know what this candle does to me. 1315 00:49:38,794 --> 00:49:40,026 Is that the one that gives you hives? 1316 00:49:40,028 --> 00:49:41,762 - No, it's the good one. - Oh, nice. 1317 00:49:45,327 --> 00:49:47,362 You look so hot right now. 1318 00:49:57,395 --> 00:49:59,626 - Where are my chuggers at? You ready? - Yeah! 1319 00:49:59,628 --> 00:50:01,460 - Oh, right here. Let's go. - Whoot, whoot! 1320 00:50:01,462 --> 00:50:02,958 All right. 1321 00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:05,025 - Cool. - Drop 'em. 1322 00:50:05,027 --> 00:50:06,195 Let's do it. 1323 00:50:08,328 --> 00:50:09,359 Wait, what? 1324 00:50:09,361 --> 00:50:10,491 Guys? 1325 00:50:10,493 --> 00:50:11,692 We're just chugging, right? 1326 00:50:11,694 --> 00:50:12,792 We're butt-chugging. 1327 00:50:12,794 --> 00:50:14,260 Yeah, you put the tube up your butt, 1328 00:50:14,262 --> 00:50:15,559 and you funnel the beer in. 1329 00:50:15,561 --> 00:50:17,460 Fucks you up way more, man. Trust me. 1330 00:50:17,462 --> 00:50:19,426 - Guys, butt-chugging? - You got this. You got it. 1331 00:50:19,428 --> 00:50:20,759 No, I'm tagging out. You're in. 1332 00:50:20,761 --> 00:50:22,325 - What? Why me? - You've had a baby. 1333 00:50:22,327 --> 00:50:23,524 Everything's looser down there. 1334 00:50:23,526 --> 00:50:25,759 I didn't have a baby out of my butt. 1335 00:50:25,761 --> 00:50:27,726 - Even I know that. - Mitchell. 1336 00:50:27,728 --> 00:50:30,725 Okay, this isn't a common occurrence with me, 1337 00:50:30,727 --> 00:50:33,691 but I have had things up there before. 1338 00:50:33,693 --> 00:50:35,825 - Hmm? - It's just all about breathing. 1339 00:50:35,827 --> 00:50:38,592 So just breathe through it and accept it in. 1340 00:50:38,594 --> 00:50:40,726 I can't do it. I can't do it. 1341 00:50:40,728 --> 00:50:42,992 Hey! She's up there right now with that dick-bag Connor 1342 00:50:42,994 --> 00:50:44,626 with his man bun and that stupid smirk. 1343 00:50:44,628 --> 00:50:45,862 Think about this. 1344 00:50:47,594 --> 00:50:49,260 W-Wait. Connor? 1345 00:50:49,262 --> 00:50:51,559 You know... you know Connor Aldrich, "The Chef"? 1346 00:50:51,561 --> 00:50:53,626 Why do they call him "The Chef"? 1347 00:50:53,628 --> 00:50:55,825 Uh, maybe a big fan of South Park? 1348 00:50:55,827 --> 00:50:57,326 "Hello, children." 1349 00:50:57,328 --> 00:50:59,459 No, no. He cooks drugs into everything. 1350 00:50:59,461 --> 00:51:01,326 Everything. Uh, one time he made me 1351 00:51:01,328 --> 00:51:03,658 this, like, acid financier cake. Oh! 1352 00:51:03,660 --> 00:51:06,259 That shit was to die for, man. 1353 00:51:06,261 --> 00:51:08,259 Like, literally, I almost fucking died. 1354 00:51:08,261 --> 00:51:10,025 Yeah, dude, if your daughter had anything like that cake, 1355 00:51:10,027 --> 00:51:11,627 she might not remember who you are tomorrow. 1356 00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:15,326 Give me the fucking tube. 1357 00:51:15,328 --> 00:51:17,259 ♪ Whoa, whoa, honey, now... ♪ 1358 00:51:17,261 --> 00:51:18,559 Let's bone. 1359 00:51:18,561 --> 00:51:19,859 Wait, what? Oh. 1360 00:51:19,861 --> 00:51:22,495 Are you sure that this is how you want to do it? 1361 00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:25,659 Yes, Chad. 1362 00:51:25,661 --> 00:51:27,759 This is always how I've imagined it. 1363 00:51:27,761 --> 00:51:30,326 Oh, you know, I'd rather leave my shirt on, if that's sexier. 1364 00:51:30,328 --> 00:51:33,259 I need another drink. 1365 00:51:33,261 --> 00:51:34,295 Wait, wait, uh... 1366 00:51:36,460 --> 00:51:38,726 Can you lube it up with something first? 1367 00:51:38,728 --> 00:51:40,292 - Yeah, I'll just spit on it. - No! 1368 00:51:40,294 --> 00:51:42,492 Why? Because I'm a man? Get over yourself. 1369 00:51:42,494 --> 00:51:44,326 No, 'cause you're fucking gross, 1370 00:51:44,328 --> 00:51:45,791 and your fucking saliva's gross. 1371 00:51:45,793 --> 00:51:47,458 I have... I have lip gloss. I have lip gloss. 1372 00:51:47,460 --> 00:51:49,325 - Got a lip gloss. We got a lip gloss. - Okay, fine. Shit. 1373 00:51:49,327 --> 00:51:50,424 I don't have lip gloss. 1374 00:51:50,426 --> 00:51:52,026 All right, guys, let's get those tubes in. 1375 00:51:52,028 --> 00:51:53,559 All right, I got the lip gloss on there. 1376 00:51:53,561 --> 00:51:54,659 - Okay. - Okay, okay. 1377 00:51:54,661 --> 00:51:56,359 - All right. - Okay, ready? 1378 00:51:56,361 --> 00:51:57,993 Ow, ow, ow, ow! 1379 00:51:57,995 --> 00:51:59,658 - It's not in yet. - Okay. - Chill. 1380 00:51:59,660 --> 00:52:01,360 So it's just gonna be on the count of three. 1381 00:52:01,362 --> 00:52:03,491 You got this, dawg. This is for your kid. 1382 00:52:03,493 --> 00:52:05,260 - On three. Okay. All right. Yeah. - On three. 1383 00:52:05,262 --> 00:52:06,491 - Okay, one... - One... 1384 00:52:06,493 --> 00:52:09,626 - Oh! - Are you okay? 1385 00:52:09,628 --> 00:52:11,524 - Okay, get your 40s. - They got a lager and an IPA. 1386 00:52:11,526 --> 00:52:12,826 Does it... Doesn't-doesn't... 1387 00:52:12,828 --> 00:52:14,359 - It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. - Okay. 1388 00:52:14,361 --> 00:52:15,658 - I don't know about this. - No, no, no, no. 1389 00:52:15,660 --> 00:52:16,958 - It's too late. It's already in. - Here you go. 1390 00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:18,325 It's in you. It's part of you now. 1391 00:52:18,327 --> 00:52:19,859 - Ready? Set... - Yeah. 1392 00:52:19,861 --> 00:52:22,725 Chug...! 1393 00:52:22,727 --> 00:52:25,325 Butt chug! Butt chug! Butt chug! 1394 00:52:25,327 --> 00:52:26,691 Oh, wait. 1395 00:52:26,693 --> 00:52:28,260 - Hey, hey. - Loosen up. 1396 00:52:28,262 --> 00:52:30,391 - It's not working, dude. - I can't. 1397 00:52:30,393 --> 00:52:31,658 - You can hold my hand. - Okay. 1398 00:52:31,660 --> 00:52:32,859 Butt chug! Butt chug! 1399 00:52:32,861 --> 00:52:34,592 - Ow! - You're hurting her. 1400 00:52:34,594 --> 00:52:35,859 - That really hurt! - I'm sorry! 1401 00:52:35,861 --> 00:52:37,424 Hey, man, listen. 1402 00:52:37,426 --> 00:52:39,692 Channel that energy into your butthole. 1403 00:52:39,694 --> 00:52:40,758 - Breathe. - This changes everything I know. 1404 00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:42,859 Dude, if your daughter could see you now, 1405 00:52:42,861 --> 00:52:44,229 she'd be so proud of you. 1406 00:52:45,594 --> 00:52:47,825 Whoa. 1407 00:52:47,827 --> 00:52:51,591 I am... I am tripping so hard. 1408 00:52:51,593 --> 00:52:53,359 It's not working. It's not working, dude. 1409 00:52:53,361 --> 00:52:55,424 - Oh, it's terrible. Oh. - It is. 1410 00:52:55,426 --> 00:52:56,626 Butt chug! Butt chug! 1411 00:52:56,628 --> 00:52:58,559 - Open up. - No, I'm sorry. 1412 00:52:58,561 --> 00:53:00,892 - I-I can't do it, man. - Focus! For your daughter. 1413 00:53:00,894 --> 00:53:02,524 Fuck, Mitch. Focus. 1414 00:53:02,526 --> 00:53:03,858 - You gotta breathe. - You gotta open up, dude. 1415 00:53:03,860 --> 00:53:06,325 - Relax. - I'm relaxed. I'm dilated. 1416 00:53:06,327 --> 00:53:08,792 I'm staring at your asshole. You're not dilated. 1417 00:53:08,794 --> 00:53:12,358 Mitchell, you're gonna lose to this punk bitch? 1418 00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:14,492 Breathe. Take it in. 1419 00:53:14,494 --> 00:53:15,759 Butt chug! 1420 00:53:17,460 --> 00:53:18,791 There we go. 1421 00:53:18,793 --> 00:53:20,626 - Okay, good. - Oh! Oh, it's working! 1422 00:53:20,628 --> 00:53:23,826 - It's working! It's working! - Holy shit! Holy shit! 1423 00:53:23,828 --> 00:53:25,525 We're almost halfway done. 1424 00:53:25,527 --> 00:53:27,825 Po's! Fucking run! 1425 00:53:27,827 --> 00:53:29,325 Cops? 1426 00:53:29,327 --> 00:53:31,395 Oh, no! 1427 00:53:33,361 --> 00:53:35,792 Ass beer! Oh, oh! 1428 00:53:35,794 --> 00:53:37,391 Lisa, the beer went into my mouth! 1429 00:53:37,393 --> 00:53:38,992 I have to go to the hospital! 1430 00:53:38,994 --> 00:53:41,592 Hurry up! Get out of here! 1431 00:53:41,594 --> 00:53:42,859 Shit. 1432 00:53:42,861 --> 00:53:44,759 We got to go. 1433 00:53:44,761 --> 00:53:46,958 I got ass beer in my mouth. I should go to the hospital. 1434 00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:48,926 Oh, shit. The fucking cops? 1435 00:53:48,928 --> 00:53:50,659 - Fuck. - The fucking cops are here? 1436 00:53:50,661 --> 00:53:52,559 - Wait. Wait, wait, wait. - I can't get the tube out. 1437 00:53:52,561 --> 00:53:53,892 - Pull the tube out. - Lis, pull it out. 1438 00:53:53,894 --> 00:53:55,826 - No. I put it in. - I had to spit on it! 1439 00:53:55,828 --> 00:53:57,792 - What? You spit on it? - No, it was my lip gloss. 1440 00:53:57,794 --> 00:53:59,491 - It was lip gloss. - Pull it out! 1441 00:53:59,493 --> 00:54:01,026 Hey, man, be gentle. Be fucking gentle, all right? 1442 00:54:01,028 --> 00:54:02,658 I'm gonna be gentle, all right? Ready? 1443 00:54:02,660 --> 00:54:03,858 - All right, on three. - On three. 1444 00:54:03,860 --> 00:54:05,325 - One. - Ow! 1445 00:54:08,627 --> 00:54:10,259 - Come on. - Whoo! 1446 00:54:10,261 --> 00:54:12,791 Hey, guys. Guys. 1447 00:54:12,793 --> 00:54:13,993 Wait, wait. 1448 00:54:13,995 --> 00:54:15,524 Sam? 1449 00:54:15,526 --> 00:54:17,391 Sam, Sam! We're over here. 1450 00:54:17,393 --> 00:54:19,592 - No! No, I... No. - She's... 1451 00:54:19,594 --> 00:54:21,324 - The night is over. - No. 1452 00:54:21,326 --> 00:54:23,592 It's over. It's done. 1453 00:54:23,594 --> 00:54:25,559 The night is not over. 1454 00:54:25,561 --> 00:54:27,559 The night has just begun. 1455 00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:33,658 Jesus, Chad, use your legs. 1456 00:54:33,660 --> 00:54:35,324 I mean, I pretty much carried her, 1457 00:54:35,326 --> 00:54:36,494 like, the whole way there. 1458 00:54:44,526 --> 00:54:47,394 Hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle! 1459 00:54:48,493 --> 00:54:49,658 Come on, Sam. 1460 00:54:49,660 --> 00:54:51,025 - Come with us. - I can't. 1461 00:54:51,027 --> 00:54:52,791 My car is here. But all my friends 1462 00:54:52,793 --> 00:54:54,825 are going to the hotel party. 1463 00:54:54,827 --> 00:54:56,260 Maybe I'll see you later. 1464 00:55:01,260 --> 00:55:02,826 Get in the car! Go, go, go, girl! 1465 00:55:02,828 --> 00:55:04,491 - Sam! Seriously, hurry up! - You'll see her later. 1466 00:55:04,493 --> 00:55:05,925 - You'll see her later. - What are you doing? 1467 00:55:05,927 --> 00:55:08,425 Ooh, this night is not over, I swear to Christ! 1468 00:55:08,427 --> 00:55:09,959 Dukes of Hazzard! 1469 00:55:11,593 --> 00:55:13,591 Racist-ass show anyway. 1470 00:55:13,593 --> 00:55:15,826 - I got the spins, man. - We got to find our daughter, dawg. 1471 00:55:15,828 --> 00:55:17,558 - I'm gonna sit down for a second. - Rudy! 1472 00:55:17,560 --> 00:55:20,292 - It's Rudy. Rudy. - Rudy, Rudy, wait, wait! 1473 00:55:20,294 --> 00:55:21,691 There he goes, there he goes! Hit the clicker! 1474 00:55:21,693 --> 00:55:23,459 - Open the doors! - Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 1475 00:55:23,461 --> 00:55:25,392 - Okay, sit. - I got mine. 1476 00:55:25,394 --> 00:55:27,395 Seat belts! You'll get a big ticket. 1477 00:55:30,561 --> 00:55:32,559 - That's them right there. - They're getting away. 1478 00:55:32,561 --> 00:55:33,826 - You gotta go faster. Hey. - Okay. 1479 00:55:33,828 --> 00:55:35,659 Hey, you gotta be at 110%. 1480 00:55:35,661 --> 00:55:37,391 - Okay. - You got to be in it to win it! 1481 00:55:37,393 --> 00:55:39,358 How do you get more competitive when you're drunk? 1482 00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:41,525 Hey, man. I'm more of a winner when I'm drunk, all right? 1483 00:55:41,527 --> 00:55:43,858 - Okay, okay. - And the question I have 1484 00:55:43,860 --> 00:55:45,725 for you, Lis: Are you a winner? 1485 00:55:45,727 --> 00:55:47,591 Are you in it to win it? 1486 00:55:47,593 --> 00:55:49,658 - Winning is my bitch! - All right. 1487 00:55:49,660 --> 00:55:50,925 - Strong. - Knock, knock! 1488 00:55:50,927 --> 00:55:52,825 - Who's there? - Me winning. 1489 00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:57,559 It's not... 1490 00:55:57,561 --> 00:55:59,358 It's not that good. 1491 00:56:00,761 --> 00:56:02,759 I don't... Ow, ow! 1492 00:56:02,761 --> 00:56:04,424 - Lisa winning! - It's not that good. 1493 00:56:04,426 --> 00:56:06,391 Ow! Fuck! All right, it's good. 1494 00:56:06,393 --> 00:56:07,926 It's fine. I like it. 1495 00:56:07,928 --> 00:56:09,059 Hey, you're losing him. Let's go. 1496 00:56:11,761 --> 00:56:14,025 Not on my watch. 1497 00:56:16,461 --> 00:56:18,725 - Oh, hey! - Whoa! - Ow! 1498 00:56:18,727 --> 00:56:20,259 Y'all think you gonna outrun 1499 00:56:20,261 --> 00:56:21,591 Rudy "The Main Motherfucking Man" Glover? 1500 00:56:21,593 --> 00:56:22,726 Hell no. 1501 00:56:22,728 --> 00:56:24,558 - Are you all right? - No! 1502 00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:25,725 Come on. 1503 00:56:25,727 --> 00:56:27,524 You okay? 1504 00:56:27,526 --> 00:56:29,658 Hey, guys. 1505 00:56:29,660 --> 00:56:31,525 Hey, I don't... 1506 00:56:31,527 --> 00:56:32,861 I don't feel so... 1507 00:56:34,427 --> 00:56:36,725 Oh, my God! 1508 00:56:36,727 --> 00:56:37,758 Oh, my God! 1509 00:56:42,928 --> 00:56:45,025 All right, here's what we're gonna do. 1510 00:56:45,027 --> 00:56:46,191 Lisa, I have seen every single 1511 00:56:46,193 --> 00:56:48,392 - Fast and the Furious movie, okay? - Mm-hmm. 1512 00:56:48,394 --> 00:56:50,291 All of them, dozens of times. Have you seen any of them? 1513 00:56:50,293 --> 00:56:52,392 I saw the Tokyo one, and I saw the one 1514 00:56:52,394 --> 00:56:53,659 where The Rock punches the torpedo. 1515 00:56:53,661 --> 00:56:55,458 Those are the best two to see. 1516 00:56:55,460 --> 00:56:58,692 Okay, in times like this, I ask myself one question: 1517 00:56:58,694 --> 00:57:01,258 "WWVDD?" You know what that means? 1518 00:57:01,260 --> 00:57:02,491 "What would Vin Diesel do?" 1519 00:57:02,493 --> 00:57:04,026 Holy shit! 1520 00:57:04,028 --> 00:57:05,562 No one's ever fucking gotten that before. Okay. 1521 00:57:10,961 --> 00:57:12,562 Oh, man, it smells like... 1522 00:57:13,793 --> 00:57:14,926 What we're gonna do... 1523 00:57:14,928 --> 00:57:15,992 we're gonna kiss the bumper. 1524 00:57:15,994 --> 00:57:16,859 - You give it a little tap. - Okay. 1525 00:57:16,861 --> 00:57:18,491 And then they're gonna spin and stop, 1526 00:57:18,493 --> 00:57:20,259 and we're gonna spin and stop the other way. 1527 00:57:20,261 --> 00:57:21,859 - Okay. - And we're gonna look at each other, 1528 00:57:21,861 --> 00:57:23,792 and we're gonna go, "It's all about the family." 1529 00:57:23,794 --> 00:57:26,026 Wait, I don't feel comfortable running the kids off the road. 1530 00:57:26,028 --> 00:57:28,626 This slow and un-furious attitude is not helping us. 1531 00:57:28,628 --> 00:57:29,926 You have to believe! 1532 00:57:29,928 --> 00:57:31,424 Okay, I'm gonna kiss it. 1533 00:57:31,426 --> 00:57:32,794 Here we go! 1534 00:57:34,394 --> 00:57:35,858 What's that? 1535 00:57:35,860 --> 00:57:37,791 - Did I do it? - No, you didn't even kiss it. 1536 00:57:37,793 --> 00:57:38,926 - You gotta kiss it. - Shit. Okay. 1537 00:57:38,928 --> 00:57:41,325 Kiss it for the family. 1538 00:57:41,327 --> 00:57:43,328 - Is that Sam? - Is that Sam? 1539 00:57:45,294 --> 00:57:47,359 - Oh! Oh, God! - She barfed on us! 1540 00:57:47,361 --> 00:57:48,925 Oh, my God! 1541 00:57:59,894 --> 00:58:01,828 Fuck. 1542 00:58:04,728 --> 00:58:06,425 Okay. 1543 00:58:06,427 --> 00:58:08,325 Are we in Heaven? 1544 00:58:08,327 --> 00:58:10,425 Okay. Listen, I know how to do this. 1545 00:58:10,427 --> 00:58:12,658 Everyone lean backwards. 1546 00:58:12,660 --> 00:58:14,658 If we all lean backwards on three, 1547 00:58:14,660 --> 00:58:16,025 the car will roll back. 1548 00:58:16,027 --> 00:58:17,325 - Ready? - Okay. 1549 00:58:17,327 --> 00:58:18,692 One... 1550 00:58:18,694 --> 00:58:20,525 two... three. 1551 00:58:21,693 --> 00:58:24,691 - Oh, fuck...! - No! 1552 00:58:24,693 --> 00:58:25,958 - Oh! - Oh, no! 1553 00:58:31,261 --> 00:58:34,591 Well, that's the last of the ass beer. 1554 00:58:34,593 --> 00:58:36,592 Jesus! That's it. Are you okay? 1555 00:58:36,594 --> 00:58:39,758 Are you bleeding? You might have internal blood injuries. 1556 00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:41,959 - I'm all right, I'm all right. - Here's the problem. 1557 00:58:41,961 --> 00:58:44,459 The Fast and the Furious movies are not realistic. 1558 00:58:44,461 --> 00:58:45,658 Where are we? 1559 00:58:45,660 --> 00:58:46,959 Shit! 1560 00:58:46,961 --> 00:58:48,325 Fuck. 1561 00:58:50,526 --> 00:58:51,925 What are you doing? 1562 00:58:51,927 --> 00:58:53,726 I heard that in times of crisis, parents have 1563 00:58:53,728 --> 00:58:55,291 - superhuman strength. - No offense... there's 1564 00:58:55,293 --> 00:58:56,992 no scientific way you're gonna flip that car over. 1565 00:58:56,994 --> 00:58:58,991 - I couldn't even do that. - I couldn't do it, either. 1566 00:58:58,993 --> 00:59:02,228 Do not tell me what I can and can't do. 1567 00:59:05,560 --> 00:59:07,424 Kayla's not answering again. 1568 00:59:07,426 --> 00:59:08,825 - Goddamn it. - We lost 'em, guys. 1569 00:59:08,827 --> 00:59:10,292 We are fucked! 1570 00:59:10,294 --> 00:59:11,795 Or maybe not. 1571 00:59:14,393 --> 00:59:16,558 What are you doing? 1572 00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:18,558 Trying to telepathically communicate with Kayla. 1573 00:59:18,560 --> 00:59:19,958 I'm with the X-Men of parents. 1574 00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:21,491 You know what my secret power is? 1575 00:59:21,493 --> 00:59:23,024 I'm super fucking annoyed right now, 1576 00:59:23,026 --> 00:59:24,861 and I hurt my love handle. 1577 00:59:29,293 --> 00:59:30,459 No, no. 1578 00:59:30,461 --> 00:59:31,924 Hey. 1579 00:59:31,926 --> 00:59:34,359 You guys think my new clothes go with my fedora? 1580 00:59:34,361 --> 00:59:35,892 I'm just kidding. I know they do. 1581 00:59:41,627 --> 00:59:42,960 Hey. 1582 00:59:44,993 --> 00:59:47,625 - Have you talked to your mom? - No. 1583 00:59:47,627 --> 00:59:49,258 So, my parents were just texting me, 1584 00:59:49,260 --> 00:59:50,558 and they were having sex, 1585 00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:52,627 and your mom showed up looking for you. 1586 00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:55,591 Oh, my God. I'm sorry. 1587 00:59:55,593 --> 00:59:56,858 It's... it's okay. 1588 00:59:56,860 --> 00:59:58,592 They have sex all the time. 1589 00:59:58,594 --> 01:00:00,258 Oh, my God. 1590 01:00:00,260 --> 01:00:01,891 She... The texts. 1591 01:00:01,893 --> 01:00:03,659 So many texts. 1592 01:00:03,661 --> 01:00:05,291 She's mad. 1593 01:00:05,293 --> 01:00:07,592 I need to handle this. 1594 01:00:07,594 --> 01:00:09,324 Good news. A Lyft is on its way. 1595 01:00:09,326 --> 01:00:11,358 Oh, wait, no, I know this guy. He sucks. 1596 01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:12,558 Oh, shit. It's Julie. 1597 01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:14,659 - Be-be cool, be cool, be cool, be cool. - Okay, be quiet. 1598 01:00:14,661 --> 01:00:16,991 - Okay. - Hey, Mom. 1599 01:00:16,993 --> 01:00:18,726 I just got all your texts, and I just want 1600 01:00:18,728 --> 01:00:19,992 to let you know that we're all good. 1601 01:00:19,994 --> 01:00:21,324 Cool, cool. Okay. 1602 01:00:21,326 --> 01:00:24,492 Um, are you at the prom? 1603 01:00:24,494 --> 01:00:25,659 Yeah. 1604 01:00:25,661 --> 01:00:28,024 Yeah, just nonstop magical moments. 1605 01:00:28,026 --> 01:00:29,659 Ha! You are lying to me. 1606 01:00:29,661 --> 01:00:31,358 Where are you right now? Where are you? 1607 01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:32,525 Why are you freaking out? 1608 01:00:32,527 --> 01:00:33,825 I'm freaking out 1609 01:00:33,827 --> 01:00:35,859 because I know what you're up to. 1610 01:00:35,861 --> 01:00:37,558 And I know that you and your friends 1611 01:00:37,560 --> 01:00:41,025 are planning some kind of little sex pact or whatever. 1612 01:00:41,027 --> 01:00:43,525 - What did you say? - You heard me. 1613 01:00:43,527 --> 01:00:45,458 How could you possibly know? 1614 01:00:45,460 --> 01:00:49,025 Because I am your mother and I know you. 1615 01:00:49,027 --> 01:00:51,924 - And I know you better than you know yourself. - Yes. 1616 01:00:51,926 --> 01:00:56,492 And I also know that you're planning on going to UCLA 1617 01:00:56,494 --> 01:00:58,659 and that you're following Austin. 1618 01:00:58,661 --> 01:01:00,591 Yeah. 1619 01:01:00,593 --> 01:01:04,695 I... know... everything. 1620 01:01:05,926 --> 01:01:09,392 Oh, my God, you know nothing. 1621 01:01:09,394 --> 01:01:12,025 Why do you even assume that it's me following Austin? 1622 01:01:12,027 --> 01:01:15,625 Huh? You're not worried about me, Mom. 1623 01:01:15,627 --> 01:01:16,890 You're worried about you. 1624 01:01:16,892 --> 01:01:18,392 You're afraid of losing me. 1625 01:01:18,394 --> 01:01:19,792 You're afraid of being alone. 1626 01:01:19,794 --> 01:01:22,258 I am not scared of being alone. 1627 01:01:23,627 --> 01:01:25,592 This is not about me. 1628 01:01:25,594 --> 01:01:29,658 I have not thought about myself for the last 18 years. 1629 01:01:29,660 --> 01:01:31,658 This is about you. 1630 01:01:31,660 --> 01:01:35,392 And as a single mother, I am trying to stop you 1631 01:01:35,394 --> 01:01:37,460 from making a life-ruining decision. 1632 01:01:38,793 --> 01:01:41,491 So I was a... a life-ruining decision? 1633 01:01:41,493 --> 01:01:44,292 No. No, of cour... No, that is not what I meant. 1634 01:01:44,294 --> 01:01:46,524 - No, that is not what I meant. - You know what, Mom? 1635 01:01:46,526 --> 01:01:49,559 I'm not going to UCLA because of some boy, okay? 1636 01:01:49,561 --> 01:01:51,925 I'm going to UCLA because it's the furthest 1637 01:01:51,927 --> 01:01:53,694 I can get from you. 1638 01:01:55,361 --> 01:01:57,359 W-Well... 1639 01:01:57,361 --> 01:01:59,825 Hello? 1640 01:01:59,827 --> 01:02:02,791 Nanaru is on his way. 1641 01:02:02,793 --> 01:02:04,428 46 minutes. 1642 01:02:06,026 --> 01:02:09,227 Well, so she hates me. 1643 01:02:11,760 --> 01:02:13,725 She doesn't hate you. 1644 01:02:13,727 --> 01:02:15,459 Kayla's ignoring me. 1645 01:02:15,461 --> 01:02:17,725 She's bringing it to a whole new level of spite. 1646 01:02:17,727 --> 01:02:19,358 Yeah. 1647 01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:21,324 It's a... that's a new level of pain. 1648 01:02:21,326 --> 01:02:23,291 Yeah. I know, I know. 1649 01:02:23,293 --> 01:02:26,424 It's just different for me, because I gave birth to her, 1650 01:02:26,426 --> 01:02:28,491 and I just feel very connected. 1651 01:02:28,493 --> 01:02:30,458 She was living in my body. 1652 01:02:30,460 --> 01:02:31,824 - Kayla grew in me. - Yeah. 1653 01:02:31,826 --> 01:02:33,392 She grew in me. She-she did. 1654 01:02:33,394 --> 01:02:36,024 She grew from my balls, and I shot her into Marcie. 1655 01:02:36,026 --> 01:02:38,427 This is the same for you and me. 1656 01:02:39,594 --> 01:02:40,891 Not exactly. 1657 01:02:40,893 --> 01:02:44,324 I mean, you have daily love in your life, 1658 01:02:44,326 --> 01:02:47,258 and I'm probably gonna die alone 1659 01:02:47,260 --> 01:02:49,658 and won't be found for a really long time. 1660 01:02:49,660 --> 01:02:52,592 Until one day, someone will be walking by 1661 01:02:52,594 --> 01:02:53,925 with their golden retriever, 1662 01:02:53,927 --> 01:02:55,825 and the dog is just gonna lose its shit, 1663 01:02:55,827 --> 01:02:57,725 and then they're gonna call the police, 1664 01:02:57,727 --> 01:03:01,725 and then they're gonna come in and find me draped over the tub 1665 01:03:01,727 --> 01:03:05,392 with my feral cats eating away at my hair. 1666 01:03:05,394 --> 01:03:06,890 'Cause cats do that. 1667 01:03:06,892 --> 01:03:08,558 The fuck is wrong with you? 1668 01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:10,592 That is some dark shit. 1669 01:03:10,594 --> 01:03:12,391 - You're gonna die alone? - Oh, oh, oh, oh! My man! 1670 01:03:12,393 --> 01:03:13,957 - My man! - Where the hell did you get that idea? 1671 01:03:13,959 --> 01:03:14,958 - You know what? - Come on! 1672 01:03:14,960 --> 01:03:16,492 I call you all the time. 1673 01:03:16,494 --> 01:03:18,258 You ever return my calls? No. 1674 01:03:18,260 --> 01:03:19,957 Because we're not really friends, you and me. 1675 01:03:19,959 --> 01:03:21,626 We're not friends? 1676 01:03:21,628 --> 01:03:23,626 I don't mean it, uh, that... I-I... you... 1677 01:03:23,628 --> 01:03:25,891 You know what you are? 1678 01:03:25,893 --> 01:03:28,659 You are like the thing that pops up on Facebook, 1679 01:03:28,661 --> 01:03:31,591 and then it's, like, this beautiful picture 1680 01:03:31,593 --> 01:03:34,559 of your grandma who's dead. 1681 01:03:34,561 --> 01:03:36,559 And you're like, "Fuck you, Facebook, 1682 01:03:36,561 --> 01:03:38,424 for reminding me of my loss." 1683 01:03:38,426 --> 01:03:39,525 That's why you're avoiding me? 1684 01:03:39,527 --> 01:03:41,291 Because I remind you of loss? 1685 01:03:41,293 --> 01:03:44,890 Yes. I don't want to be reminded of sweet, young Julie 1686 01:03:44,892 --> 01:03:47,392 and our kids and that beautiful time 1687 01:03:47,394 --> 01:03:49,024 - in our lives is over. - Oh, God. 1688 01:03:49,026 --> 01:03:51,359 Boo-fucking-hoo with you two. 1689 01:03:51,361 --> 01:03:53,558 You guys completely ignore me. 1690 01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:55,592 - Always. - Yeah, no shit, cheater. 1691 01:03:55,594 --> 01:03:57,025 Oh, cheater? That's my... that's my designation? 1692 01:03:57,027 --> 01:03:58,791 That's what I am? I'm the cheater? 1693 01:03:58,793 --> 01:04:00,558 Fuck that shit. 1694 01:04:00,560 --> 01:04:02,925 Did you guys ever once call me when that went down 1695 01:04:02,927 --> 01:04:04,890 and ask me my side of the story? 1696 01:04:04,892 --> 01:04:06,725 You didn't. 1697 01:04:06,727 --> 01:04:08,291 I would have told you the truth. 1698 01:04:08,293 --> 01:04:09,992 I would have told you that Brenda had stopped 1699 01:04:09,994 --> 01:04:11,625 talking to me months before that happened. 1700 01:04:11,627 --> 01:04:13,592 You know she hooked up with her boss 1701 01:04:13,594 --> 01:04:16,359 at a company retreat in Wisconsin? 1702 01:04:16,361 --> 01:04:17,825 Do you know she beat me up? 1703 01:04:17,827 --> 01:04:19,559 She fucking beat me up 1704 01:04:19,561 --> 01:04:21,790 at a Romano's fucking Macaroni Grill! 1705 01:04:21,792 --> 01:04:24,558 She fucking slapped me in front of the fucking maitre d'! 1706 01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:25,757 - I didn't know that. - I'm sorry, man. 1707 01:04:25,759 --> 01:04:27,757 And I fucking embarrass myself, 1708 01:04:27,759 --> 01:04:29,992 and I embarrass myself in front of my daughter. 1709 01:04:29,994 --> 01:04:31,424 And I-I-I thought, you know, 1710 01:04:31,426 --> 01:04:32,724 I should pull back a little bit, 1711 01:04:32,726 --> 01:04:34,024 and then fucking Frank showed up, 1712 01:04:34,026 --> 01:04:35,957 and he... I pulled back more, 1713 01:04:35,959 --> 01:04:37,857 and I thought, "One day I'm gonna fix it. 1714 01:04:37,859 --> 01:04:39,625 One day I'm gonna fucking fix it." 1715 01:04:39,627 --> 01:04:41,524 And then I thought, if I gave her 1716 01:04:41,526 --> 01:04:46,291 something awesome, like a great night, 1717 01:04:46,293 --> 01:04:48,525 I could get close with her again. 1718 01:04:48,527 --> 01:04:50,195 But I can't. 1719 01:04:53,727 --> 01:04:55,559 'Cause she's gone. They're just... 1720 01:04:55,561 --> 01:04:57,559 The kids, they... 1721 01:04:57,561 --> 01:04:58,925 they just leave. 1722 01:04:58,927 --> 01:05:01,591 Oh, shit! I know how we can find them. 1723 01:05:01,593 --> 01:05:02,957 Go to Cathy and Ron's. 1724 01:05:02,959 --> 01:05:04,525 Austin's been texting them all night. 1725 01:05:04,527 --> 01:05:06,591 Did you hear anything I said just now? 1726 01:05:06,593 --> 01:05:08,291 - That's a great idea. - Fuck it. 1727 01:05:08,293 --> 01:05:09,691 It's just good to say it out loud. 1728 01:05:09,693 --> 01:05:11,861 - Let's go flip that car. - Hell... 1729 01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:15,625 Jesus Christ! 1730 01:05:15,627 --> 01:05:18,961 Oh, my fucking God. 1731 01:05:20,361 --> 01:05:21,857 Shit. 1732 01:05:21,859 --> 01:05:24,559 My car just exploded. 1733 01:05:27,326 --> 01:05:29,724 Nanaru is 26 minutes away. 1734 01:05:29,726 --> 01:05:31,259 So that's good. 1735 01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:32,625 I thought I canceled him. 1736 01:05:32,627 --> 01:05:33,991 Thanks, Nanaru. 1737 01:05:33,993 --> 01:05:35,391 So Austin's parents aren't gonna 1738 01:05:35,393 --> 01:05:36,691 just tell us where they are. 1739 01:05:36,693 --> 01:05:38,758 So we need to get Ron's phone, 1740 01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:41,024 read the texts and find our kids. 1741 01:05:41,026 --> 01:05:42,358 Okay? 1742 01:05:42,360 --> 01:05:44,259 Hunter, it's not gonna be you. 1743 01:05:44,261 --> 01:05:45,724 So, Mitchell, it's you. 1744 01:05:45,726 --> 01:05:47,557 No. That's breaking and entering. 1745 01:05:47,559 --> 01:05:49,658 That is... I'm uncomfortable with that. 1746 01:05:49,660 --> 01:05:51,491 Are you a team player, or aren't you? 1747 01:05:51,493 --> 01:05:52,690 Am I a team player? 1748 01:05:52,692 --> 01:05:53,957 I just chugged a 40 with my asshole. 1749 01:05:53,959 --> 01:05:54,992 I'm a team player. 1750 01:05:54,994 --> 01:05:56,758 Then get your head in the game. 1751 01:05:56,760 --> 01:05:59,358 It's the bottom of the third, we are down by one, 1752 01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:01,593 and there is not a lot of game left. 1753 01:06:02,926 --> 01:06:04,690 There is a lot of game left, though. 1754 01:06:04,692 --> 01:06:06,690 Listen. You have one pass left. 1755 01:06:06,692 --> 01:06:08,625 One. One pass. 1756 01:06:08,627 --> 01:06:10,690 - Is it rug... rugby? - You don't have a limit on passing. 1757 01:06:10,692 --> 01:06:11,758 Is it Australian-rules football? 1758 01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:13,591 And if it was the third, I would have the fourth... 1759 01:06:13,593 --> 01:06:14,891 You know what? You know what's happening right now? 1760 01:06:14,893 --> 01:06:16,657 Let me tell you what's happening right now. 1761 01:06:16,659 --> 01:06:18,791 Is Kayla and Connor are sliding into bed. 1762 01:06:18,793 --> 01:06:20,424 He's grabbing a condom, 1763 01:06:20,426 --> 01:06:22,558 and then he's flicking it to the side 1764 01:06:22,560 --> 01:06:24,492 with a smirk on his face. 1765 01:06:24,494 --> 01:06:27,557 That fucking smirk. No way. 1766 01:06:27,559 --> 01:06:28,891 We need a Hail Mary pass. 1767 01:06:28,893 --> 01:06:30,523 Are you up for that, son? 1768 01:06:30,525 --> 01:06:31,991 - Yes, Coach. - Well, I can't hear you. 1769 01:06:31,993 --> 01:06:33,658 - Yes, Coach. I'm in it. - I can't hear you! 1770 01:06:33,660 --> 01:06:34,958 I can fucking do this! Let's go! 1771 01:06:34,960 --> 01:06:36,395 Okay, we gotta... we gotta be quiet. 1772 01:06:41,026 --> 01:06:42,727 Careful. 1773 01:06:48,360 --> 01:06:49,725 All right, go. 1774 01:06:49,727 --> 01:06:51,328 Go. 1775 01:07:17,260 --> 01:07:18,760 Did you...? Look at that. 1776 01:07:26,525 --> 01:07:27,758 Go out that way. 1777 01:07:27,760 --> 01:07:28,891 There's a person. There's a person. 1778 01:07:28,893 --> 01:07:30,460 What? Fuck you. 1779 01:07:31,959 --> 01:07:33,593 Jesus Christ. 1780 01:07:46,361 --> 01:07:49,625 I'm gonna get you. 1781 01:07:49,627 --> 01:07:53,358 Not if I get you first. 1782 01:07:59,693 --> 01:08:01,858 No, no. Get away from here. 1783 01:08:01,860 --> 01:08:04,294 - I'm fucking out. - Mitchell, in. - Get in. 1784 01:08:06,026 --> 01:08:08,657 - Cath? - Ron, no talking. 1785 01:08:08,659 --> 01:08:11,458 Come on, we had a deal. We have to find each other 1786 01:08:11,460 --> 01:08:13,458 by sensing each other's musks. 1787 01:08:13,460 --> 01:08:14,858 Can't use our voices. 1788 01:08:33,260 --> 01:08:35,624 Here, kitty, kitty. 1789 01:08:35,626 --> 01:08:36,857 I can smell that musk. 1790 01:08:43,827 --> 01:08:46,324 Oh. Yeah. 1791 01:08:46,326 --> 01:08:48,857 Yeah, yeah, I like the sound of that. 1792 01:08:48,859 --> 01:08:50,757 Oh! 1793 01:08:50,759 --> 01:08:52,691 Oh! Hey. 1794 01:08:52,693 --> 01:08:55,423 You want to touch first, that works for Ronnie. 1795 01:08:55,425 --> 01:08:56,724 You want me to touch you? 1796 01:08:56,726 --> 01:08:58,025 - Help yourself. - You want me to touch you? 1797 01:08:58,027 --> 01:09:00,324 - Yes. - I'm gonna touch you hard. 1798 01:09:00,326 --> 01:09:03,325 - Do it. Do it. - How about I touch you with my nails, baby? 1799 01:09:03,327 --> 01:09:05,523 - Let's have it. - Oh, oh, yeah. 1800 01:09:05,525 --> 01:09:07,259 - Oh, wow. - Your hair is so sexy, babe. 1801 01:09:07,261 --> 01:09:08,557 Your grip is unbelievable. 1802 01:09:08,559 --> 01:09:10,357 I want you to touch me 1803 01:09:10,359 --> 01:09:11,657 where I like. 1804 01:09:11,659 --> 01:09:13,524 My balls, you know? 1805 01:09:13,526 --> 01:09:16,325 Oh, you'd like me to touch your balls. 1806 01:09:16,327 --> 01:09:18,590 You want me to touch your balls, do you? 1807 01:09:18,592 --> 01:09:20,691 - Yes, I do. - How badly do you 1808 01:09:20,693 --> 01:09:22,292 want me to tug at your balls? 1809 01:09:22,294 --> 01:09:24,590 I want you to rip them off my body. 1810 01:09:24,592 --> 01:09:26,624 - That's what I want. - Mm, I don't really believe you. 1811 01:09:26,626 --> 01:09:28,324 I don't believe you want it bad enough. 1812 01:09:28,326 --> 01:09:29,758 I want it bad. Do it. Come on. 1813 01:09:29,760 --> 01:09:31,690 - Really? How bad? - I want it so bad that my balls 1814 01:09:31,692 --> 01:09:33,357 - are going to explode. - Ooh, are they gonna explode 1815 01:09:33,359 --> 01:09:35,490 into a million little pieces? 1816 01:09:35,492 --> 01:09:36,890 Well, let me tell you something, darling. 1817 01:09:36,892 --> 01:09:37,991 It is your lucky day. 1818 01:09:37,993 --> 01:09:39,391 Because it's Christmas for you. 1819 01:09:39,393 --> 01:09:40,591 Let's go. 1820 01:09:40,593 --> 01:09:42,324 Come on. Come on, do it. 1821 01:09:42,326 --> 01:09:44,423 - You there? - What, this isn't hard enough? 1822 01:09:44,425 --> 01:09:45,825 - Let's go. Come on. - Harder? 1823 01:09:45,827 --> 01:09:47,423 Come on, do it, do it. 1824 01:09:47,425 --> 01:09:49,424 - I'm waiting. - Okeydokey. 1825 01:09:49,426 --> 01:09:52,291 Oh, yeah, you like that? 1826 01:09:52,293 --> 01:09:54,457 Hey, man, I don't judge people's sex shit. 1827 01:09:54,459 --> 01:09:56,324 That was ridiculous and stupid. 1828 01:09:56,326 --> 01:09:57,757 Way to take one for the team, guys. 1829 01:09:57,759 --> 01:09:59,424 Hold on, hold on, hold on. Here it is. 1830 01:09:59,426 --> 01:10:01,291 "The police came to the lake house. 1831 01:10:01,293 --> 01:10:03,390 Almost lost my flower but didn't quite work out." 1832 01:10:03,392 --> 01:10:05,524 - Flower? - Flower? - He said that? He's a boy. 1833 01:10:05,526 --> 01:10:06,591 Hub-uh-uh, hub-uh-uh... 1834 01:10:06,593 --> 01:10:08,259 "Heading to the Park West Hotel. 1835 01:10:08,261 --> 01:10:09,758 - We've got the Grand Lux Suite." - Suite? 1836 01:10:09,760 --> 01:10:11,658 "Looks like the little boy is becoming a man." 1837 01:10:11,660 --> 01:10:12,825 Fucking dork. 1838 01:10:12,827 --> 01:10:14,357 Okay, so that was ten minutes ago. 1839 01:10:14,359 --> 01:10:15,524 So they haven't had sex yet. 1840 01:10:15,526 --> 01:10:16,657 We can still catch 'em. 1841 01:10:16,659 --> 01:10:18,523 Okay, let's do this. 1842 01:10:19,727 --> 01:10:21,691 ♪ I am free, yeah, yeah ♪ 1843 01:10:21,693 --> 01:10:23,857 ♪ Come water me, oh, oh ♪ 1844 01:10:23,859 --> 01:10:25,858 ♪ Love you so, but if you don't ♪ 1845 01:10:25,860 --> 01:10:28,925 ♪ I have to leave, oh, no, whoo ♪ 1846 01:10:28,927 --> 01:10:31,424 ♪ It's hot, I think I wanna kick off both of my socks ♪ 1847 01:10:31,426 --> 01:10:33,591 ♪ I can feel it boilin' up in this pot ♪ 1848 01:10:33,593 --> 01:10:36,624 ♪ A closed mouth don't get fed, is you hungry or not? ♪ 1849 01:10:36,626 --> 01:10:39,558 ♪ Like brr-brr, operator, caboose like choo-choo ♪ 1850 01:10:39,560 --> 01:10:41,423 ♪ Bless my trainer, thank God, thank God, thank God ♪ 1851 01:10:41,425 --> 01:10:43,424 ♪ I'm gettin' thicker, and I got 'em sweatin' ♪ 1852 01:10:43,426 --> 01:10:44,758 ♪ In the middle of the winter ♪ 1853 01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:46,658 ♪ Get up, I don't get dehydrated ♪ 1854 01:10:46,660 --> 01:10:49,523 ♪ I moisturize it daily ♪ 1855 01:10:49,525 --> 01:10:52,291 ♪ I am my inspiration ♪ 1856 01:10:52,293 --> 01:10:53,691 - ♪ I am my inspiration ♪ - ♪ Get up ♪ 1857 01:10:53,693 --> 01:10:55,791 ♪ I am free, yeah, yeah ♪ 1858 01:10:55,793 --> 01:10:57,857 ♪ Come water me, oh, oh ♪ 1859 01:10:57,859 --> 01:10:59,423 ♪ Love you so, but if you don't ♪ 1860 01:10:59,425 --> 01:11:01,526 ♪ Then I have to go. ♪ 1861 01:11:03,326 --> 01:11:04,557 Hey. 1862 01:11:04,559 --> 01:11:05,858 - Hey. - Hey. 1863 01:11:05,860 --> 01:11:07,891 How's she doing? Is she okay? 1864 01:11:07,893 --> 01:11:09,725 No, she's not doing okay. She's bummed. 1865 01:11:09,727 --> 01:11:12,260 She doesn't even want to kiss. And I love kissing. 1866 01:11:13,927 --> 01:11:15,491 Give me your room key. 1867 01:11:15,493 --> 01:11:16,891 - What? Why? - Yeah. 1868 01:11:16,893 --> 01:11:18,925 Give me your room key, and then bring her up 1869 01:11:18,927 --> 01:11:20,527 in like 15 minutes. 1870 01:11:21,660 --> 01:11:23,257 - Okay. - Yes. 1871 01:11:23,259 --> 01:11:24,424 Thanks. You're the man. 1872 01:11:24,426 --> 01:11:26,025 Thank you for this. 1873 01:11:32,392 --> 01:11:33,857 How we supposed to find them in this place? 1874 01:11:33,859 --> 01:11:35,557 It's got like 20 rooms. 1875 01:11:35,559 --> 01:11:36,957 I'm sorry, what the fuck 1876 01:11:36,959 --> 01:11:38,523 are you talking about? 1877 01:11:38,525 --> 01:11:40,524 20? It's got like 200. 1878 01:11:40,526 --> 01:11:41,791 What? 20? 1879 01:11:41,793 --> 01:11:43,825 Grand Lux Suite is on the top floor. 1880 01:11:43,827 --> 01:11:45,257 Go, go, go, go. 1881 01:11:45,259 --> 01:11:46,890 Move. Hurry, Lisa! 1882 01:11:46,892 --> 01:11:51,458 ♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance ♪ 1883 01:11:51,460 --> 01:11:53,458 ♪ Make it clap like this ♪ 1884 01:11:53,460 --> 01:11:56,594 ♪ Dance, dance, dance, dance... ♪ 1885 01:12:48,892 --> 01:12:50,893 What am I doing here? 1886 01:13:09,727 --> 01:13:11,457 Oh, my God. 1887 01:13:11,459 --> 01:13:13,591 Oh, my God, my favorite. 1888 01:13:13,593 --> 01:13:15,390 That's so sweet. 1889 01:13:15,392 --> 01:13:16,790 Oh, my God. 1890 01:13:16,792 --> 01:13:18,390 This is a dream. 1891 01:13:18,392 --> 01:13:19,690 It's, like, perfect. 1892 01:13:19,692 --> 01:13:21,258 That is... It's so nice. 1893 01:13:21,260 --> 01:13:22,391 You're so sweet. 1894 01:13:22,393 --> 01:13:24,390 It actually wasn't me. 1895 01:13:24,392 --> 01:13:25,590 It was Kayla. 1896 01:13:25,592 --> 01:13:27,323 She wanted you to have the perfect night. 1897 01:13:27,325 --> 01:13:28,558 That's why it looks so good. 1898 01:13:28,560 --> 01:13:31,291 Well, why do you look so good? 1899 01:13:31,293 --> 01:13:33,024 You're such a dork. 1900 01:13:33,026 --> 01:13:34,726 I-I know. 1901 01:13:37,026 --> 01:13:39,227 Oh, my God. 1902 01:13:43,393 --> 01:13:45,561 Not as smooth as I could. 1903 01:13:49,027 --> 01:13:50,992 Let me get my shoes. 1904 01:13:55,293 --> 01:13:56,327 Kayla? 1905 01:14:02,593 --> 01:14:04,258 Nobody move. Where's Kayla? 1906 01:14:04,260 --> 01:14:06,294 Kayla? Kayla? 1907 01:14:07,425 --> 01:14:08,925 Get that out of here. 1908 01:14:08,927 --> 01:14:10,458 Now, how's this work? Is this...? 1909 01:14:10,460 --> 01:14:11,658 - No, just leave it. - Okay, cool. 1910 01:14:11,660 --> 01:14:12,661 - It's difficult. - Mm-hmm. 1911 01:14:15,859 --> 01:14:17,625 Play sports. 1912 01:14:17,627 --> 01:14:19,590 Mwah. Mwah. 1913 01:14:19,592 --> 01:14:22,390 Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. 1914 01:14:22,392 --> 01:14:23,758 Mwah. 1915 01:14:23,760 --> 01:14:25,423 And that's that. 1916 01:14:25,425 --> 01:14:28,590 So, you, uh, sure you want to do this? 1917 01:14:28,592 --> 01:14:29,624 Yeah. 1918 01:14:29,626 --> 01:14:31,390 Yes. Fuck yeah. 1919 01:14:31,392 --> 01:14:33,391 You're gonna... you're gonna penis me. 1920 01:14:33,393 --> 01:14:35,724 - Yep. - First, I'm gonna... 1921 01:14:35,726 --> 01:14:37,523 I'm just gonna touch it. 1922 01:14:37,525 --> 01:14:39,024 - You want to touch it? Yeah, you can touch it. - Yeah. 1923 01:14:39,026 --> 01:14:40,890 - Yeah, yeah, go for it. Yeah. - Okay, just, like... 1924 01:14:40,892 --> 01:14:42,891 Oh! Wow! 1925 01:14:42,893 --> 01:14:44,858 Okay. That is, like, the greatest feeling 1926 01:14:44,860 --> 01:14:47,257 I've ever had in my entire life. 1927 01:14:47,259 --> 01:14:49,323 Really? 1928 01:14:49,325 --> 01:14:52,390 It doesn't just feel like a super dry hand of a friend? 1929 01:14:52,392 --> 01:14:54,393 No. Nope. 1930 01:14:55,492 --> 01:14:57,390 Okay, so... 1931 01:14:57,392 --> 01:15:00,524 do you want to, um... 1932 01:15:00,526 --> 01:15:01,826 put it in? 1933 01:15:05,259 --> 01:15:06,424 No. 1934 01:15:06,426 --> 01:15:07,790 Okay. 1935 01:15:07,792 --> 01:15:09,490 - I can't. I'm sorry. - You know what? 1936 01:15:09,492 --> 01:15:12,023 Look, we don't ha... 1937 01:15:12,025 --> 01:15:13,758 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! 1938 01:15:13,760 --> 01:15:15,657 - Holy shit! - Right there. Look at all of it. 1939 01:15:15,659 --> 01:15:17,523 Oh, my gosh! I gotta get over. 1940 01:15:17,525 --> 01:15:19,625 Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1941 01:15:19,627 --> 01:15:21,491 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1942 01:15:21,493 --> 01:15:24,023 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I just... 1943 01:15:24,025 --> 01:15:26,258 - It's okay. - I was thinking about it and you, 1944 01:15:26,260 --> 01:15:28,291 and then it just... I'm sorry. 1945 01:15:29,726 --> 01:15:31,591 My God. 1946 01:15:31,593 --> 01:15:33,257 You're amazing. 1947 01:15:33,259 --> 01:15:35,290 I know we're still virgins, 1948 01:15:35,292 --> 01:15:37,824 but I feel different, you know? 1949 01:15:37,826 --> 01:15:40,357 Yeah. 1950 01:15:40,359 --> 01:15:41,794 I know. 1951 01:15:44,559 --> 01:15:47,424 You ready to, uh, do this? 1952 01:15:47,426 --> 01:15:49,524 Wait. 1953 01:15:49,526 --> 01:15:52,391 Wait. Um... 1954 01:15:52,393 --> 01:15:54,725 Ah, shit. 1955 01:15:54,727 --> 01:15:56,394 Shit. 1956 01:15:58,359 --> 01:16:00,590 Maybe Julie was right. 1957 01:16:00,592 --> 01:16:03,291 Like, maybe losing your virginity 1958 01:16:03,293 --> 01:16:05,523 doesn't have to be perfect, but... 1959 01:16:05,525 --> 01:16:07,324 I feel like it should just be, like, 1960 01:16:07,326 --> 01:16:09,491 a little bit more special than this, you know? 1961 01:16:09,493 --> 01:16:11,024 - Yeah. - Like, not cheesy, but... 1962 01:16:11,026 --> 01:16:13,524 Like, if I was hard-pressed right now, 1963 01:16:13,526 --> 01:16:16,357 I don't think I could remember your last name. 1964 01:16:16,359 --> 01:16:17,358 - It's Aldrich. - Aldrich. 1965 01:16:17,360 --> 01:16:19,424 I thought it was Ostrich. 1966 01:16:19,426 --> 01:16:21,690 I-I didn't realize that you're a virgin. 1967 01:16:21,692 --> 01:16:23,857 - You know? - Yeah. 1968 01:16:23,859 --> 01:16:27,691 Um, but, like, I'd still be down to do it, 1969 01:16:27,693 --> 01:16:29,490 but maybe, like, you know, 1970 01:16:29,492 --> 01:16:31,558 when we get to know each other a little more. 1971 01:16:31,560 --> 01:16:33,357 Like, maybe Monday or something? 1972 01:16:33,359 --> 01:16:35,791 - Yeah. - Not to, like, plan it and be weird, but, like... 1973 01:16:35,793 --> 01:16:37,590 No, no, I can look at my schedule 1974 01:16:37,592 --> 01:16:39,257 - and see if it's... - Okay. 1975 01:16:39,259 --> 01:16:40,690 Pencil it in. 1976 01:16:40,692 --> 01:16:42,691 Um, yeah, that's cool. 1977 01:16:42,693 --> 01:16:44,491 - Okay, cool. - Um, let's just relax. 1978 01:16:44,493 --> 01:16:46,624 We could do, like, some light journaling or something. 1979 01:16:46,626 --> 01:16:49,625 Yeah, yeah, we could... we could do that. 1980 01:16:49,627 --> 01:16:54,590 Or we could do, like, other stuff. 1981 01:16:54,592 --> 01:16:56,591 Yeah? Like what? 1982 01:16:56,593 --> 01:16:58,757 Like... 1983 01:16:58,759 --> 01:17:01,890 not sex, but... 1984 01:17:01,892 --> 01:17:05,658 I'm still down for pleasure. 1985 01:17:12,592 --> 01:17:14,591 You got this. 1986 01:17:14,593 --> 01:17:15,658 Hey, guys. What's up? 1987 01:17:15,660 --> 01:17:18,460 Anyone seen Sam? Anyone seen Sam? 1988 01:17:23,492 --> 01:17:25,590 Chad! 1989 01:17:25,592 --> 01:17:26,590 Fuck. 1990 01:17:26,592 --> 01:17:28,227 Get out of the way. 1991 01:17:30,493 --> 01:17:31,990 Jesus! 1992 01:17:34,525 --> 01:17:35,957 What the f...? 1993 01:17:35,959 --> 01:17:37,423 You again? 1994 01:17:37,425 --> 01:17:38,757 - You! - What the fuck? 1995 01:17:38,759 --> 01:17:40,391 What's your beef with me, dude? 1996 01:17:40,393 --> 01:17:41,624 I don't know who the fuck you are! 1997 01:17:41,626 --> 01:17:43,625 I'm Jake motherfucking Donahue. 1998 01:17:43,627 --> 01:17:45,624 That name means nothing to me. 1999 01:17:45,626 --> 01:17:47,590 Do you know what it's like to be humiliated 2000 01:17:47,592 --> 01:17:48,956 in front of everyone you know 2001 01:17:48,958 --> 01:17:50,860 and have to seek redemption for that? 2002 01:17:51,993 --> 01:17:54,324 Actually, yes, I do. 2003 01:17:54,326 --> 01:17:57,458 Kayla? Kayla? 2004 01:17:57,460 --> 01:17:58,957 Kayla? Get the hell away 2005 01:17:58,959 --> 01:18:01,357 from my daughter, you little piece of shit! 2006 01:18:01,359 --> 01:18:03,024 Dad, what the...? 2007 01:18:03,026 --> 01:18:04,591 Oh, my God! 2008 01:18:04,593 --> 01:18:06,357 You okay? He didn't hurt you, did he? 2009 01:18:06,359 --> 01:18:07,824 What? No, he didn't hurt me. 2010 01:18:07,826 --> 01:18:09,857 Holy shit! Connor. 2011 01:18:09,859 --> 01:18:11,590 - Ow. - Oh, my God, are you okay? 2012 01:18:11,592 --> 01:18:13,291 I'm actually totally fine. 2013 01:18:13,293 --> 01:18:14,691 Connor, I'm so sorry. 2014 01:18:14,693 --> 01:18:15,724 - Are you okay, though? - Yeah, please... 2015 01:18:15,726 --> 01:18:16,923 Are you sure? 2016 01:18:16,925 --> 01:18:19,023 Dad, what the... what are you doing here? 2017 01:18:19,025 --> 01:18:20,790 I've been following you around all night. 2018 01:18:20,792 --> 01:18:22,558 Are you ser...? Oh, my God. 2019 01:18:22,560 --> 01:18:23,924 You've been following me? 2020 01:18:23,926 --> 01:18:25,624 - Are you crazy? - You gave me no choice. 2021 01:18:25,626 --> 01:18:26,890 You're in over your head with this kid. 2022 01:18:26,892 --> 01:18:28,357 I am not some pathetic 2023 01:18:28,359 --> 01:18:29,724 damsel in distress that needs saving. 2024 01:18:29,726 --> 01:18:31,291 - I can handle myself. - No, you can't. 2025 01:18:31,293 --> 01:18:32,724 - Yes, I can. - No, you can't. 2026 01:18:32,726 --> 01:18:35,257 - Yes, I can. - Kayla, you can't. 2027 01:18:35,259 --> 01:18:37,258 And that's why I'm here. 2028 01:18:37,260 --> 01:18:38,426 It's my job. 2029 01:18:40,026 --> 01:18:41,625 Oh. 2030 01:18:41,627 --> 01:18:43,923 Yeah, so you just don't think 2031 01:18:43,925 --> 01:18:47,591 I can make my own decisions and handle myself. 2032 01:18:47,593 --> 01:18:49,825 That really fucking sucks. 2033 01:18:53,325 --> 01:18:55,923 Kayla... 2034 01:18:55,925 --> 01:18:58,857 Kayla, I'm just trying to figure this thing out. 2035 01:18:58,859 --> 01:19:02,193 God. Why is sex even bad? 2036 01:19:06,660 --> 01:19:08,824 I-I don't know. I don't know. It's... 2037 01:19:08,826 --> 01:19:10,756 It's not... You know, it's... 2038 01:19:10,758 --> 01:19:12,693 I don't know. 2039 01:19:13,858 --> 01:19:15,690 I'm... 2040 01:19:15,692 --> 01:19:18,824 I'm just trying to be the best dad I can be. 2041 01:19:18,826 --> 01:19:21,390 Well, you are. 2042 01:19:21,392 --> 01:19:24,423 You taught me everything. 2043 01:19:24,425 --> 01:19:26,724 You built me up. 2044 01:19:26,726 --> 01:19:28,789 Made me strong. 2045 01:19:28,791 --> 01:19:31,491 You made me into who I am. 2046 01:19:31,493 --> 01:19:33,889 Like, that's... 2047 01:19:33,891 --> 01:19:37,658 You did not have to save me tonight, Dad. 2048 01:19:37,660 --> 01:19:41,793 You taught me how to do that a long time ago. 2049 01:19:42,891 --> 01:19:44,326 And I love you for it. 2050 01:19:46,726 --> 01:19:48,793 Best coach ever. 2051 01:19:53,659 --> 01:19:56,358 Thank you. Thank you. 2052 01:19:56,360 --> 01:19:59,324 Oh, Dad, come on. 2053 01:19:59,326 --> 01:20:00,860 Come on, toughen up. 2054 01:20:02,560 --> 01:20:04,458 It was just really nice what you said. 2055 01:20:04,460 --> 01:20:06,390 It's good. It's good. 2056 01:20:06,392 --> 01:20:07,757 I mean it. 2057 01:20:07,759 --> 01:20:09,924 Thanks. I feel like... 2058 01:20:09,926 --> 01:20:13,724 like Phil Jackson when he was coaching the Bulls, 2059 01:20:13,726 --> 01:20:17,557 and... and then the... and they were so good. 2060 01:20:18,993 --> 01:20:21,290 - That's how I feel right now. - Yeah. 2061 01:20:21,292 --> 01:20:24,258 I should have taken my socks off first. 2062 01:20:25,992 --> 01:20:29,023 Now, I'm just warning you, I've practiced a few times, 2063 01:20:29,025 --> 01:20:31,524 - but this might not go that well. - That doesn't look right. 2064 01:20:31,526 --> 01:20:32,991 - Yeah, all right. - I think you need another one. 2065 01:20:32,993 --> 01:20:35,324 - I think we need another one, too. - Wait, wait. 2066 01:20:35,326 --> 01:20:36,889 We have to do our dance. 2067 01:20:36,891 --> 01:20:38,723 - We have to. Like, yeah, yeah. - What, now? 2068 01:20:38,725 --> 01:20:40,790 - Naked? - No, get me one of those, um... 2069 01:20:40,792 --> 01:20:42,558 the hotel robes. I want to feel fabulous. 2070 01:20:42,560 --> 01:20:44,291 Okay. 2071 01:20:44,293 --> 01:20:45,627 Coming right up, milady. 2072 01:20:48,925 --> 01:20:51,558 ♪ Your shadow running around ♪ 2073 01:20:51,560 --> 01:20:53,857 ♪ It's funny how things never change ♪ 2074 01:20:53,859 --> 01:20:55,857 ♪ In this old town ♪ 2075 01:20:55,859 --> 01:20:57,423 ♪ So far ♪ 2076 01:20:58,993 --> 01:21:01,290 ♪ From the stars... ♪ 2077 01:21:01,292 --> 01:21:04,358 We're gonna christen every corner of this room. 2078 01:21:04,360 --> 01:21:07,390 And when we're done, let's FaceTime my parents. 2079 01:21:07,392 --> 01:21:08,790 Okay, but right now, 2080 01:21:08,792 --> 01:21:10,957 I want you to stare into my eyes. 2081 01:21:10,959 --> 01:21:12,558 - What? - Mm-hmm. 2082 01:21:12,560 --> 01:21:14,990 I just want, like, a real connection. 2083 01:21:14,992 --> 01:21:17,924 So you just want me to look straight into your eyes 2084 01:21:17,926 --> 01:21:19,724 for the next three minutes and 37 seconds? 2085 01:21:19,726 --> 01:21:20,823 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 2086 01:21:20,825 --> 01:21:23,460 ♪ Wish I was there with you now ♪ 2087 01:21:25,691 --> 01:21:27,824 ♪ If the whole world was watching ♪ 2088 01:21:27,826 --> 01:21:29,524 ♪ I'd still dance with you ♪ 2089 01:21:29,526 --> 01:21:30,823 Look at me. 2090 01:21:30,825 --> 01:21:32,690 ♪ Drive highways and byways ♪ 2091 01:21:32,692 --> 01:21:34,790 ♪ To be there with you ♪ 2092 01:21:34,792 --> 01:21:38,991 ♪ Over and over the only truth ♪ 2093 01:21:38,993 --> 01:21:43,424 ♪ Everything comes back to you ♪ 2094 01:21:49,992 --> 01:21:54,258 ♪ I saw that you moved on with someone new ♪ 2095 01:21:54,260 --> 01:21:56,557 ♪ In the pub that we met ♪ 2096 01:21:56,559 --> 01:21:58,424 ♪ He's got his arms around you ♪ 2097 01:21:58,426 --> 01:22:01,527 ♪ It's so hard ♪ 2098 01:22:03,292 --> 01:22:06,592 ♪ So hard ♪ 2099 01:22:08,026 --> 01:22:10,590 ♪ And I want to tell you everything ♪ 2100 01:22:10,592 --> 01:22:15,194 ♪ The words I never got to say the first time around ♪ 2101 01:22:16,925 --> 01:22:19,624 ♪ And I remember everything ♪ 2102 01:22:19,626 --> 01:22:21,391 ♪ From when we were the children ♪ 2103 01:22:21,393 --> 01:22:23,390 ♪ Playing in this fairground ♪ 2104 01:22:23,392 --> 01:22:25,393 ♪ Wish I was there with you now ♪ 2105 01:22:28,526 --> 01:22:31,556 ♪ 'Cause if the whole world was watching, I'd still... ♪ 2106 01:22:46,859 --> 01:22:48,490 - Dad? - Where is he? 2107 01:22:48,492 --> 01:22:50,689 - What are you doing here? - Chad? 2108 01:22:50,691 --> 01:22:52,491 Hey, Chad, you motherfucker. 2109 01:22:52,493 --> 01:22:54,724 Oh, my God, are you kidding me? 2110 01:22:54,726 --> 01:22:56,390 Did he make you do something you don't want to do? 2111 01:22:56,392 --> 01:22:57,623 'Cause I don't care if he's 2112 01:22:57,625 --> 01:22:58,857 the fucking coolest kid in school. 2113 01:22:58,859 --> 01:23:00,291 I'm gonna shove his fedora 2114 01:23:00,293 --> 01:23:02,789 so far up his ass, it'll be a hat. 2115 01:23:02,791 --> 01:23:05,656 No, Dad, we didn't do it. 2116 01:23:05,658 --> 01:23:07,024 All right? And even if we did, 2117 01:23:07,026 --> 01:23:09,927 it would be none of your business. 2118 01:23:12,792 --> 01:23:16,590 It's just, I was worried about you. 2119 01:23:16,592 --> 01:23:17,825 Well, that's a first. 2120 01:23:19,292 --> 01:23:21,623 I deserve that. 2121 01:23:21,625 --> 01:23:22,889 Sam, I gotta tell you something, 2122 01:23:22,891 --> 01:23:24,825 and I'm just gonna say it. 2123 01:23:33,393 --> 01:23:38,560 Sam, I have realized over the last few years... 2124 01:23:40,293 --> 01:23:42,391 ...that I have made a big mistake in my life. 2125 01:23:42,393 --> 01:23:44,526 What, like cheating on my mom? 2126 01:23:45,692 --> 01:23:47,590 Well, no. Marrying your mom. 2127 01:23:47,592 --> 01:23:48,991 But no, that... that wasn't a mistake, 2128 01:23:48,993 --> 01:23:51,290 because then I wouldn't have had you. 2129 01:23:53,025 --> 01:23:58,589 I've made lots of mistakes, but th-the big mistake... 2130 01:23:58,591 --> 01:24:04,357 is that I let what happened between your mom and I 2131 01:24:04,359 --> 01:24:07,359 get in the way of our relationship. 2132 01:24:10,958 --> 01:24:12,492 I'm sorry. 2133 01:24:14,026 --> 01:24:18,623 And I hope that we can start over and... 2134 01:24:18,625 --> 01:24:22,324 build up our relationship again because... 2135 01:24:22,326 --> 01:24:23,927 you're my only kid. 2136 01:24:25,692 --> 01:24:27,290 And I'm your only dad. 2137 01:24:27,292 --> 01:24:28,556 Well, Frank is... 2138 01:24:28,558 --> 01:24:29,824 Fuck Frank. 2139 01:24:33,591 --> 01:24:35,522 Frank's fine. 2140 01:24:35,524 --> 01:24:39,490 Dad, can I tell you something now? 2141 01:24:39,492 --> 01:24:40,556 Yes. 2142 01:24:40,558 --> 01:24:41,924 Yes, yes, yes, anything. 2143 01:24:41,926 --> 01:24:43,893 I'm a lesbian. 2144 01:24:50,360 --> 01:24:51,892 Give me your hand. 2145 01:24:54,026 --> 01:24:55,557 What does your mom think? 2146 01:24:55,559 --> 01:24:56,626 She doesn't know. 2147 01:25:01,458 --> 01:25:03,523 You told me before you told your mom? 2148 01:25:03,525 --> 01:25:05,889 - Yeah. - That's big news. 2149 01:25:05,891 --> 01:25:08,257 She doesn't know? 2150 01:25:08,259 --> 01:25:10,323 - You didn't tell Frank? - No. 2151 01:25:21,592 --> 01:25:23,656 Okay. Over. 2152 01:25:23,658 --> 01:25:25,724 Crying is over. 2153 01:25:25,726 --> 01:25:26,924 What do your girlfriends think? 2154 01:25:26,926 --> 01:25:28,757 No, I'm too nervous. I can't tell them. 2155 01:25:28,759 --> 01:25:30,823 You're nervous to tell Kayla and Julie? 2156 01:25:30,825 --> 01:25:34,390 It's just... I don't want to lose my two best friends. 2157 01:25:34,392 --> 01:25:36,557 This is the stuff you tell the people you care about. 2158 01:25:36,559 --> 01:25:39,457 You think they're not gonna support you because you're gay? 2159 01:25:39,459 --> 01:25:42,690 They would support you if you were a vampire. 2160 01:25:42,692 --> 01:25:44,724 They would support you more. 2161 01:25:44,726 --> 01:25:46,990 With all the Twilight shit. 2162 01:25:46,992 --> 01:25:49,656 - Do we still like Twilight? - Definitely not. 2163 01:25:49,658 --> 01:25:51,723 No, no. 2164 01:25:51,725 --> 01:25:53,426 Oh, God. 2165 01:25:54,692 --> 01:25:56,724 Thanks for showing up. 2166 01:25:56,726 --> 01:25:57,823 Really. 2167 01:25:57,825 --> 01:26:00,757 But you should probably leave 2168 01:26:00,759 --> 01:26:03,557 because it's insane that you even came here 2169 01:26:03,559 --> 01:26:05,823 in the first place. 2170 01:26:05,825 --> 01:26:07,756 I'd love to get a picture with you. 2171 01:26:07,758 --> 01:26:09,422 Yeah. 2172 01:26:09,424 --> 01:26:11,456 Great. Okay. 2173 01:26:11,458 --> 01:26:13,023 Just gonna stand on this. 2174 01:26:13,025 --> 01:26:15,456 Yeah, you know... you know the drill. Come on. 2175 01:26:15,458 --> 01:26:16,956 Come on. Here we go. 2176 01:26:16,958 --> 01:26:19,193 Gotta turn it around here. 2177 01:26:22,459 --> 01:26:24,291 Dad, you're not taking it. 2178 01:26:24,293 --> 01:26:25,560 It's... 2179 01:26:27,424 --> 01:26:29,889 What? 2180 01:26:29,891 --> 01:26:32,523 I'll remember this. 2181 01:26:32,525 --> 01:26:33,889 Come on. 2182 01:26:33,891 --> 01:26:35,656 Oh, my God. 2183 01:26:35,658 --> 01:26:37,390 What's up, dawg? 2184 01:26:37,392 --> 01:26:39,757 So, I just, uh... 2185 01:26:39,759 --> 01:26:42,291 parented the shit out of Sam. 2186 01:26:42,293 --> 01:26:43,956 And I feel, uh... 2187 01:26:43,958 --> 01:26:46,024 oh, God, like, uh... 2188 01:26:46,026 --> 01:26:47,924 pride, I think. 2189 01:26:47,926 --> 01:26:49,422 - That's it. - It's new. 2190 01:26:49,424 --> 01:26:50,756 Good for you, man. 2191 01:26:50,758 --> 01:26:51,889 Thanks. 2192 01:26:51,891 --> 01:26:52,956 Well done, my friend. 2193 01:26:52,958 --> 01:26:54,390 - Thank you. - Well done. 2194 01:26:54,392 --> 01:26:55,857 How'd it go with Kayla? 2195 01:26:55,859 --> 01:26:57,557 Put Connor through a wall. 2196 01:26:57,559 --> 01:26:59,323 Are you serious? 2197 01:26:59,325 --> 01:27:01,258 Yeah. He's okay. 2198 01:27:01,260 --> 01:27:02,690 Yeah, he's lighter than I thought. 2199 01:27:03,858 --> 01:27:05,490 Hey. 2200 01:27:05,492 --> 01:27:06,656 Hi. 2201 01:27:06,658 --> 01:27:09,290 So, Julie's, um... 2202 01:27:09,292 --> 01:27:10,757 Julie's having sex right now. 2203 01:27:10,759 --> 01:27:13,290 - Okay. And sit down. - Wowie. 2204 01:27:13,292 --> 01:27:14,656 Yeah. 2205 01:27:14,658 --> 01:27:16,556 But it's good. It's fine, right? 2206 01:27:16,558 --> 01:27:18,456 I mean, you have to do that eventually. 2207 01:27:18,458 --> 01:27:19,624 Right? 2208 01:27:19,626 --> 01:27:21,289 - Are you good? - Yeah. 2209 01:27:21,291 --> 01:27:23,824 They seem like they really like each other, and that's nice. 2210 01:27:23,826 --> 01:27:27,423 That's a good thing, but it's just a little, you know, scary, 2211 01:27:27,425 --> 01:27:30,323 because what if he doesn't know how to do it right? 2212 01:27:30,325 --> 01:27:32,824 You know, like, what if he doesn't know where to put it? 2213 01:27:32,826 --> 01:27:34,623 But he knows, right? Should I go back up there? 2214 01:27:34,625 --> 01:27:36,523 - No. No, no, no, no. - No, no, he'll figure it out. 2215 01:27:36,525 --> 01:27:37,690 - No, no. - It's one or the other. 2216 01:27:37,692 --> 01:27:39,724 Nope. You stay right here. 2217 01:27:39,726 --> 01:27:42,259 Do you want to have a drink right now? 2218 01:27:43,491 --> 01:27:45,322 You mean, like, hang out? 2219 01:27:45,324 --> 01:27:46,322 Yeah. 2220 01:27:46,324 --> 01:27:48,689 Yes, I do. 2221 01:27:48,691 --> 01:27:50,557 I'm in. I'm definitely in. 2222 01:27:50,559 --> 01:27:53,422 Um, we will be having some shots of alcohol, please. 2223 01:27:53,424 --> 01:27:54,522 Yes, we will. 2224 01:27:54,524 --> 01:27:55,557 This is crazy. 2225 01:27:56,959 --> 01:27:58,590 - This is... - Well, I'm going to, uh... 2226 01:27:58,592 --> 01:28:02,456 let you guys have your fun, and I will, uh... 2227 01:28:02,458 --> 01:28:04,592 I-I will see you guys around. 2228 01:28:09,524 --> 01:28:11,258 Hey! 2229 01:28:12,658 --> 01:28:14,293 You, too. 2230 01:28:15,758 --> 01:28:17,490 Yeah. 2231 01:28:17,492 --> 01:28:18,990 Right. 2232 01:28:18,992 --> 01:28:20,790 Fuck yeah. 2233 01:28:20,792 --> 01:28:22,757 Piña colada. 2234 01:28:22,759 --> 01:28:24,326 Just get him a shot. 2235 01:28:25,391 --> 01:28:26,923 Cheers. 2236 01:28:26,925 --> 01:28:28,356 What a night, guys. 2237 01:28:28,358 --> 01:28:29,825 That's beautiful. 2238 01:28:32,525 --> 01:28:35,589 So, I don't think the kid at the lake house 2239 01:28:35,591 --> 01:28:37,289 was actually butt-chugging. 2240 01:28:37,291 --> 01:28:38,523 - Definitely. - Yeah. 2241 01:28:38,525 --> 01:28:39,857 - What? - Yep. - Yeah. 2242 01:28:39,859 --> 01:28:42,489 And so he threw me through a table, uh... 2243 01:28:42,491 --> 01:28:43,790 - I'm so sorry. - No, it was cool. 2244 01:28:43,792 --> 01:28:45,789 I, like... I kind of feel fine. 2245 01:28:45,791 --> 01:28:47,724 - All right, see you. - It's cool. - See you. 2246 01:28:47,726 --> 01:28:48,924 Hey, guys. 2247 01:28:48,926 --> 01:28:50,289 Austin, uh, let's go 2248 01:28:50,291 --> 01:28:51,422 - get a drink, man. - Yeah, sure. 2249 01:28:51,424 --> 01:28:52,624 Want a fry? 2250 01:28:52,626 --> 01:28:54,626 So badly. 2251 01:28:56,292 --> 01:28:57,991 Can I have a fry, too? 2252 01:28:57,993 --> 01:28:59,890 - Yeah. - Yes. 2253 01:29:00,926 --> 01:29:02,389 So... 2254 01:29:02,391 --> 01:29:04,890 I... I couldn't go through with it. 2255 01:29:04,892 --> 01:29:07,893 Yes, I didn't. No. 2256 01:29:11,791 --> 01:29:13,290 Holy shit. 2257 01:29:13,292 --> 01:29:14,823 You're a woman amongst girls. 2258 01:29:14,825 --> 01:29:16,556 - Julie. - Yeah. - Congratu-fuck-ulations. 2259 01:29:16,558 --> 01:29:18,857 - Thank you. Thank you. - How was it? 2260 01:29:18,859 --> 01:29:20,322 Honestly, it was a little painful, 2261 01:29:20,324 --> 01:29:22,590 kind of fast and kind of awkward, 2262 01:29:22,592 --> 01:29:24,023 but absolutely perfect. 2263 01:29:24,025 --> 01:29:25,489 Aw! 2264 01:29:26,491 --> 01:29:28,256 You guys, so much... 2265 01:29:28,258 --> 01:29:29,856 so much went down tonight. 2266 01:29:29,858 --> 01:29:30,856 I know. 2267 01:29:30,858 --> 01:29:32,956 Including Connor. 2268 01:29:32,958 --> 01:29:34,957 - No. - Let's just say... 2269 01:29:34,959 --> 01:29:37,290 The Chef went out to eat... 2270 01:29:37,292 --> 01:29:38,757 my pussy. 2271 01:29:39,992 --> 01:29:41,423 It was good. 2272 01:29:41,425 --> 01:29:42,856 Ba-ba-ba! 2273 01:29:42,858 --> 01:29:44,856 - DJ Chad. - Is that Chad? 2274 01:29:44,858 --> 01:29:47,557 - That's Chad. Chad! - That's Chad. 2275 01:29:47,559 --> 01:29:49,290 - ♪ Scream my name ♪ - Yes, Chad! 2276 01:29:49,292 --> 01:29:51,289 Holy shit. Fuck yeah, Chad! 2277 01:29:51,291 --> 01:29:52,856 ♪ I love me, gonna love myself ♪ 2278 01:29:52,858 --> 01:29:55,757 ♪ No, I don't need anybody else, hey ♪ 2279 01:29:55,759 --> 01:29:58,323 ♪ Gonna love myself, no, I don't need anybody else ♪ 2280 01:29:58,325 --> 01:30:00,557 ♪ I love me, can't help myself ♪ 2281 01:30:00,559 --> 01:30:02,457 ♪ No, I don't need anybody else ♪ 2282 01:30:02,459 --> 01:30:05,589 ♪ Any time, day or night... ♪ 2283 01:30:05,591 --> 01:30:07,790 Guys, I got to tell you something. 2284 01:30:07,792 --> 01:30:09,656 Okay, okay. 2285 01:30:12,659 --> 01:30:14,023 Really? 2286 01:30:14,025 --> 01:30:15,356 - Yeah. - Wait, you are? 2287 01:30:15,358 --> 01:30:17,023 Yeah. 2288 01:30:17,025 --> 01:30:18,656 I love you. 2289 01:30:18,658 --> 01:30:20,290 Forever. 2290 01:30:20,292 --> 01:30:21,889 And you, too. 2291 01:30:21,891 --> 01:30:23,890 Oh, my God! 2292 01:30:23,892 --> 01:30:25,756 - I love you. Hold on. - Sam, come here, you. 2293 01:30:25,758 --> 01:30:27,289 Excuse me. 2294 01:30:27,291 --> 01:30:28,757 I can't believe you didn't tell us. 2295 01:30:28,759 --> 01:30:29,991 Yay! 2296 01:30:33,892 --> 01:30:35,322 - Oh, hey. - Hey. 2297 01:30:35,324 --> 01:30:36,723 - Hey. - Hi. 2298 01:30:36,725 --> 01:30:38,623 Oh. 2299 01:30:38,625 --> 01:30:41,492 Uh, Julie, I think we got something over here. 2300 01:30:43,292 --> 01:30:44,693 Dope cape. 2301 01:30:47,792 --> 01:30:49,789 And I'm not... 2302 01:30:49,791 --> 01:30:51,425 misreading things. 2303 01:30:54,291 --> 01:30:58,289 ♪ I love me, gonna love myself, no, I don't need anybody else ♪ 2304 01:30:58,291 --> 01:31:00,256 ♪ Hey, gonna love myself ♪ 2305 01:31:00,258 --> 01:31:02,257 ♪ No, I don't need anybody else ♪ 2306 01:31:02,259 --> 01:31:04,289 ♪ I love me, can't help myself ♪ 2307 01:31:04,291 --> 01:31:06,322 ♪ No, I don't need anybody else ♪ 2308 01:31:06,324 --> 01:31:09,024 ♪ Any time, day or night ♪ 2309 01:31:09,026 --> 01:31:11,824 ♪ I love me, gonna love myself ♪ 2310 01:31:11,826 --> 01:31:13,927 ♪ No, I don't need anybody else... ♪ 2311 01:31:16,291 --> 01:31:18,689 So you'll call me every day till you get to L.A., right? 2312 01:31:18,691 --> 01:31:20,290 Yeah, and then, like, every day after that. 2313 01:31:20,292 --> 01:31:21,423 Okay. 2314 01:31:21,425 --> 01:31:22,657 I'm gonna miss you so much. 2315 01:31:22,659 --> 01:31:24,557 You're gonna be okay, though. 2316 01:31:24,559 --> 01:31:25,889 Are you gonna be okay? 2317 01:31:25,891 --> 01:31:27,323 Yeah, I'm fine. 2318 01:31:27,325 --> 01:31:29,456 It's the weirdest thing because... 2319 01:31:29,458 --> 01:31:34,423 I have been worried about this day for 18 years, 2320 01:31:34,425 --> 01:31:37,889 and then I wake up this morning, and... 2321 01:31:37,891 --> 01:31:39,824 nothing. 2322 01:31:39,826 --> 01:31:41,590 Like, I don't feel emotional at all. 2323 01:31:41,592 --> 01:31:43,789 I just feel, like... 2324 01:31:43,791 --> 01:31:45,724 - It's so bizarre. - Mm-hmm. 2325 01:31:45,726 --> 01:31:47,322 What is that? 2326 01:31:47,324 --> 01:31:48,589 It's, like, splashing on me. 2327 01:31:48,591 --> 01:31:50,389 I know. Isn't that so strange? 2328 01:31:50,391 --> 01:31:51,525 Yeah. 2329 01:31:53,625 --> 01:31:54,959 I love you, Mom. 2330 01:31:56,259 --> 01:31:57,559 I love you. 2331 01:31:59,691 --> 01:32:01,022 No, I have money. I... 2332 01:32:01,024 --> 01:32:02,789 Lisa, tell him I can afford br... 2333 01:32:02,791 --> 01:32:05,557 Hmm. Sorry. Sorry. 2334 01:32:05,559 --> 01:32:07,590 All right, come on. 2335 01:32:07,592 --> 01:32:09,456 Let's get this road trip started! 2336 01:32:09,458 --> 01:32:10,890 - We're waiting for you! - I love you. 2337 01:32:10,892 --> 01:32:12,990 - Bye. - Okay. 2338 01:32:12,992 --> 01:32:15,193 Oh, hold on. Let me take a video. 2339 01:32:25,625 --> 01:32:27,857 - I love you. - I love you. 2340 01:32:27,859 --> 01:32:29,556 Bye, Mom. 2341 01:32:29,558 --> 01:32:30,955 - I love you. - Okay, bye. 2342 01:32:30,957 --> 01:32:32,522 - Mwah! - See you. 2343 01:32:32,524 --> 01:32:34,422 Drop Julie off in Cali, and then you and Kayla 2344 01:32:34,424 --> 01:32:35,790 - come right back home. - That's a, a big maybe. 2345 01:32:35,792 --> 01:32:37,356 - And text, please. Please. - Hey. 2346 01:32:37,358 --> 01:32:38,823 Take care of my mom, you two, okay? 2347 01:32:38,825 --> 01:32:40,557 - We will. All right. - Later, big guy. 2348 01:32:40,559 --> 01:32:42,457 - Bye, Dad. - I'm going to college! - Bye! 2349 01:32:42,459 --> 01:32:43,990 Drive careful, young man. That's precious cargo. 2350 01:32:43,992 --> 01:32:45,725 Love you! 2351 01:32:46,826 --> 01:32:48,556 - Aw. - Come on. 2352 01:32:48,558 --> 01:32:49,923 - Guys. - Come on. - We did it. 2353 01:32:49,925 --> 01:32:52,256 We did it. We did it. 2354 01:32:52,258 --> 01:32:53,456 We parented. 2355 01:32:53,458 --> 01:32:55,289 - We did it. - We did it. 2356 01:32:56,758 --> 01:33:00,023 Oh, it's Julie. 2357 01:33:00,025 --> 01:33:02,522 Oh, I must have been accidentally added to the... 2358 01:33:02,524 --> 01:33:04,257 the group conversation. 2359 01:33:04,259 --> 01:33:06,023 - Oh, well, should probably leave. - What's, uh... 2360 01:33:06,025 --> 01:33:07,790 "Can't-can't believe we're on our own now." 2361 01:33:07,792 --> 01:33:08,956 - Aw, that's sweet. - Yeah. 2362 01:33:08,958 --> 01:33:10,790 "We're gonna get lit af." 2363 01:33:10,792 --> 01:33:12,490 "Lit A.F." 2364 01:33:12,492 --> 01:33:14,457 That's not great. 2365 01:33:14,459 --> 01:33:16,290 No, it's... they're gonna get literature. African literature. 2366 01:33:16,292 --> 01:33:17,922 You think that's what "lit A.F." means? 2367 01:33:17,924 --> 01:33:19,689 You think they're talking to each other about, like... 2368 01:33:19,691 --> 01:33:21,423 - "Lit A.F." - "Can The Chef get us..." 2369 01:33:21,425 --> 01:33:22,623 Trees? What the hell's trees? 2370 01:33:22,625 --> 01:33:24,357 Trees mean weed. I told you that. 2371 01:33:24,359 --> 01:33:25,990 - Mushrooms, pills. - No, the pills are... 2372 01:33:25,992 --> 01:33:27,356 Kayla's allergy. That's Claritin. 2373 01:33:27,358 --> 01:33:28,422 It's not Claritin. Look. 2374 01:33:28,424 --> 01:33:29,589 Snowflakes. That's blow. 2375 01:33:29,591 --> 01:33:31,323 "#NoParentsNoRules. 2376 01:33:31,325 --> 01:33:34,857 # MadDrugs. # NoCondoms." 2377 01:33:34,859 --> 01:33:36,556 Why would they hashtag that? 2378 01:33:36,558 --> 01:33:38,656 Wait, I'm sorry. Is that a needle and an eggplant? 2379 01:33:38,658 --> 01:33:41,956 What, are they gonna inject heroin into some guy's dick? 2380 01:33:41,958 --> 01:33:43,289 - Let's go. - Let's get in the car. 2381 01:33:43,291 --> 01:33:44,423 - I'll drive. - I'm sitting behind you. 2382 01:33:44,425 --> 01:33:46,456 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 2383 01:33:46,458 --> 01:33:47,557 We're just messing with you. 2384 01:33:47,559 --> 01:33:48,292 Ha-ha! 2385 01:33:49,858 --> 01:33:51,857 "We love you guys. Don't worry." 2386 01:33:53,358 --> 01:33:56,423 You guys were so pranked! I was in on it. 2387 01:33:56,425 --> 01:33:58,289 - You didn't know. - No, no, I did. I didn't know it was 2388 01:33:58,291 --> 01:33:59,823 coming right now. That's why I kind of sold it so well. 2389 01:33:59,825 --> 01:34:01,022 But it doesn't matter. 2390 01:34:01,024 --> 01:34:03,556 But you guys were like, "Holy shit!" 2391 01:34:03,558 --> 01:34:04,888 - Yeah. - Whew. 2392 01:34:04,890 --> 01:34:07,956 ♪ I do my hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2393 01:34:07,958 --> 01:34:10,855 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2394 01:34:10,857 --> 01:34:12,889 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2395 01:34:12,891 --> 01:34:14,490 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? ♪ 2396 01:34:14,492 --> 01:34:16,889 ♪ Feelin' good as hell... ♪ 2397 01:34:22,691 --> 01:34:24,457 Damn it, Mitchell. 2398 01:34:24,459 --> 01:34:25,859 Marco. 2399 01:34:27,258 --> 01:34:28,322 Polo. 2400 01:34:28,324 --> 01:34:29,956 I... 2401 01:34:29,958 --> 01:34:31,891 Mitchell, are you getting a snack? 2402 01:34:33,791 --> 01:34:35,689 I'm so glad we can do stuff like this 2403 01:34:35,691 --> 01:34:36,955 now that Kayla's in college. 2404 01:34:36,957 --> 01:34:39,489 I have no idea where you are. 2405 01:34:39,491 --> 01:34:41,888 I'm gonna do so much stuff to you when I find you. 2406 01:34:41,890 --> 01:34:43,822 - Oh, oh. - Marco. 2407 01:34:43,824 --> 01:34:45,290 - Polo. - Ah, ah. 2408 01:34:45,292 --> 01:34:46,557 Polo! 2409 01:34:46,559 --> 01:34:47,922 I can't believe you! It took forever! 2410 01:34:47,924 --> 01:34:49,822 I spent so much time on the stairs. 2411 01:34:49,824 --> 01:34:51,522 - We're doing this. - We're, like, totally doing it. 2412 01:34:51,524 --> 01:34:53,023 - I know. It's hot. - Let's just get crazy. 2413 01:34:53,025 --> 01:34:54,022 I don't know. 2414 01:34:54,024 --> 01:34:55,557 I want you to grab my balls, 2415 01:34:55,559 --> 01:34:57,290 like Ron likes it, like, uh... like, hard. 2416 01:34:59,924 --> 01:35:01,855 ♪ Ooh, child, tired of the bullshit ♪ 2417 01:35:01,857 --> 01:35:03,624 ♪ Go on, dust your shoulders off ♪ 2418 01:35:03,626 --> 01:35:05,289 ♪ Keep it moving ♪ 2419 01:35:05,291 --> 01:35:07,357 ♪ Yes, Lord, trying to get some new shit ♪ 2420 01:35:07,359 --> 01:35:09,690 ♪ In there, swimwear, going to the pool shit ♪ 2421 01:35:09,692 --> 01:35:11,624 ♪ Come now, come dry your eyes ♪ 2422 01:35:11,626 --> 01:35:13,956 ♪ You know you a star, you can touch the sky ♪ 2423 01:35:13,958 --> 01:35:16,689 ♪ I know that it's hard, but you have to try ♪ 2424 01:35:16,691 --> 01:35:19,689 ♪ If you need advice, let me simplify ♪ 2425 01:35:19,691 --> 01:35:24,556 ♪ If he don't love you anymore ♪ 2426 01:35:24,558 --> 01:35:28,822 ♪ Just walk your fine ass out the door ♪ 2427 01:35:28,824 --> 01:35:32,023 ♪ I do my hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2428 01:35:32,025 --> 01:35:34,756 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2429 01:35:34,758 --> 01:35:37,323 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2430 01:35:37,325 --> 01:35:40,457 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2431 01:35:40,459 --> 01:35:42,290 ♪ Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2432 01:35:42,292 --> 01:35:43,423 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? 2433 01:35:43,425 --> 01:35:44,889 ♪ Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2434 01:35:44,891 --> 01:35:46,956 ♪ Whoo, girl, need to kick off your shoes ♪ 2435 01:35:46,958 --> 01:35:49,457 ♪ Gotta take a deep breath, time to focus on you ♪ 2436 01:35:49,459 --> 01:35:51,888 ♪ All the big fights, long nights that you been through ♪ 2437 01:35:51,890 --> 01:35:54,724 ♪ I got a bottle of tequila I've been saving for you ♪ 2438 01:35:54,726 --> 01:35:56,656 ♪ Boss up and change your life ♪ 2439 01:35:56,658 --> 01:35:58,956 ♪ You can have it all, no sacrifice ♪ 2440 01:35:58,958 --> 01:36:01,423 ♪ I know he did you wrong, we can make it right ♪ 2441 01:36:01,425 --> 01:36:04,689 ♪ So go and let it all hang out tonight ♪ 2442 01:36:04,691 --> 01:36:09,456 ♪ 'Cause he don't love you anymore ♪ 2443 01:36:09,458 --> 01:36:13,657 ♪ So walk your fine ass out the door ♪ 2444 01:36:13,659 --> 01:36:17,256 ♪ And do your hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2445 01:36:17,258 --> 01:36:19,656 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2446 01:36:19,658 --> 01:36:21,523 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2447 01:36:21,525 --> 01:36:23,456 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? ♪ 2448 01:36:23,458 --> 01:36:25,289 - ♪ Feelin' good as hell ♪ - ♪ Shine on tonight ♪ 2449 01:36:25,291 --> 01:36:27,023 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2450 01:36:27,025 --> 01:36:29,788 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2451 01:36:29,790 --> 01:36:31,990 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2452 01:36:31,992 --> 01:36:35,459 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2453 01:36:35,461 --> 01:36:36,822 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2454 01:36:36,824 --> 01:36:39,559 ♪ Mmm, yeah ♪ 2455 01:36:40,725 --> 01:36:43,023 ♪ All right ♪ 2456 01:36:43,025 --> 01:36:44,623 ♪ Listen ♪ 2457 01:36:44,625 --> 01:36:49,556 ♪ If he don't love you anymore ♪ 2458 01:36:49,558 --> 01:36:55,823 ♪ Then walk your fine ass out the door ♪ 2459 01:36:55,825 --> 01:36:59,656 ♪ And do your hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2460 01:36:59,658 --> 01:37:01,855 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2461 01:37:01,857 --> 01:37:04,257 - ♪ Whoo-hoo... ♪ - ♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2462 01:37:04,259 --> 01:37:05,989 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? ♪ 2463 01:37:05,991 --> 01:37:07,822 - ♪ Feelin' good as hell ♪ - ♪ Shine on tonight ♪ 2464 01:37:07,824 --> 01:37:09,756 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2465 01:37:09,758 --> 01:37:12,490 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2466 01:37:12,492 --> 01:37:14,656 ♪ Hair toss, check my nails ♪ 2467 01:37:14,658 --> 01:37:17,624 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2468 01:37:17,626 --> 01:37:19,590 ♪ Feelin' good as hell ♪ 2469 01:37:19,592 --> 01:37:20,923 ♪ Baby, how you feelin'? ♪ 2470 01:37:20,925 --> 01:37:23,489 ♪ Feelin' good as hell. ♪