1
00:01:20,042 --> 00:01:23,876
♪ See you later
tomorrow's calling ♪
2
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,500
♪ I've gotta run ♪
3
00:01:27,584 --> 00:01:31,375
♪ It's so exciting
A little scary ♪
4
00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:35,167
♪ I wish you could come ♪
5
00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:41,167
♪ I wish you could
Baby, you could come ♪
6
00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:44,584
♪ This is gonna be fun
This is gonna be real ♪
7
00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:49,209
♪ From my feet to my fingers
I'm gonna feel ♪
8
00:01:49,292 --> 00:01:52,667
♪ I'm gonna feel ♪
9
00:01:52,751 --> 00:01:57,751
♪ This is gonna be real ♪
10
00:01:57,834 --> 00:02:01,375
♪ Fun ♪
11
00:02:01,459 --> 00:02:05,792
♪ The clock is ticking
Telephone's ringing ♪
12
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:09,459
♪ How time does fly ♪
13
00:02:09,542 --> 00:02:11,626
♪ Don't look so sad ♪
14
00:02:11,709 --> 00:02:13,500
♪ Don't look so lonely ♪
15
00:02:13,584 --> 00:02:17,167
♪ This ain't good-bye ♪
16
00:02:17,250 --> 00:02:23,209
♪ I wish you could
Baby, you could come ♪
17
00:02:23,292 --> 00:02:26,667
♪ This is gonna be fun
This is gonna be real ♪
18
00:02:26,751 --> 00:02:31,292
♪ From my feet to my fingers
I'm gonna feel ♪
19
00:02:31,375 --> 00:02:34,375
♪ I'm gonna feel ♪
20
00:02:34,459 --> 00:02:38,167
♪ This is gonna be fun
This is gonna be real ♪
21
00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:42,709
♪ From my feet to my fingers
I'm gonna feel ♪
22
00:02:42,792 --> 00:02:46,167
♪ I'm gonna feel ♪
23
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:51,209
♪ This is gonna be real ♪
24
00:02:51,292 --> 00:02:54,542
♪ Fun ♪
25
00:02:58,167 --> 00:03:00,459
[rolling thunder]
26
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,334
[man reading]
27
00:03:33,709 --> 00:03:36,042
[alarm blares]
28
00:03:43,375 --> 00:03:45,334
Well, stop her!
29
00:03:49,876 --> 00:03:52,667
[narrator in Italian accent]
This is my son.
30
00:03:52,751 --> 00:03:56,250
Most people thought he sold
vacuum cleaners door-to-door.
31
00:03:56,334 --> 00:04:00,751
But as you can see,
there was more to the story.
32
00:04:00,834 --> 00:04:03,876
Hey, where do you think
you're going, huh? [Grunts]
33
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,083
[sirens wailing]
34
00:04:16,417 --> 00:04:18,000
- Idiot!
- Huh?
35
00:04:21,167 --> 00:04:27,500
[tires screech]
36
00:04:27,584 --> 00:04:31,667
This is a mistake. That...
that woman is not Bo Derek!
37
00:04:31,751 --> 00:04:34,125
That was close.
38
00:04:42,584 --> 00:04:44,792
Too close.
39
00:04:44,876 --> 00:04:48,209
I demand to speak
to the American Embassy! Ow!
40
00:04:49,834 --> 00:04:54,042
[man] Fabbrizio, it's time your
son is told of his destiny.
41
00:04:54,125 --> 00:04:56,667
This is no life for my son.
42
00:04:56,751 --> 00:05:00,209
I will never tell him
of his true destiny.
43
00:05:00,292 --> 00:05:05,459
[echoing] Destiny. Destiny.
Destiny. Destiny.
44
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:11,417
[bicycle bell rings]
45
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:14,500
[narrator] Fabbrizio decided
to keep the family legacy
46
00:05:14,584 --> 00:05:16,709
a secret from his son.
47
00:05:16,792 --> 00:05:20,626
The boy never knew the truth
about his urge to disguise himself
48
00:05:20,709 --> 00:05:23,834
with anything he could find.
49
00:05:23,918 --> 00:05:27,709
Pistachio, I hope you're not
making faces in the mirror
50
00:05:27,792 --> 00:05:30,042
with the underwear on the head.
51
00:05:30,125 --> 00:05:32,417
[Pistachio] That would be crazy,
Papa.
52
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,209
[chuckles] Unless, of course,
53
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:37,667
I had a shaving cream beard
to go along with it.
54
00:05:37,751 --> 00:05:39,959
[Grandfather]
This is my grandson, Pistachio.
55
00:05:40,042 --> 00:05:44,584
He has always been
a little, uh, different.
56
00:05:44,667 --> 00:05:46,500
Oh!
57
00:05:46,584 --> 00:05:50,375
From the very beginning, he
had impulses he could not control.
58
00:05:50,459 --> 00:05:52,751
- You slap me, I slap you!
- [gasps]
59
00:05:52,834 --> 00:05:57,667
As Pistachio grew up, he couldn't
help mimicking the people around him.
60
00:05:57,751 --> 00:06:01,042
Add the copper sulfate.
61
00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:03,375
[mocking]
Add the copper sulfate.
62
00:06:03,459 --> 00:06:07,876
Add just a little bit
of luminol.
63
00:06:07,959 --> 00:06:12,459
[mocking] Add just a little bit
of luminol.
64
00:06:14,626 --> 00:06:17,959
[class laughing]
65
00:06:18,042 --> 00:06:22,209
[Grandfather] But he always
had a hard time fitting in.
66
00:06:22,292 --> 00:06:25,459
[chuckles] You think
you got muscles now?
67
00:06:25,542 --> 00:06:26,876
Try this.
68
00:06:26,959 --> 00:06:28,167
Okay.
69
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:34,417
[boy] Why does he have
underwear on his head?
70
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:37,292
[Grandfather] What he didn't
know was that his true adventure
71
00:06:37,375 --> 00:06:38,709
was about to begin.
72
00:06:38,792 --> 00:06:40,167
[whimpers]
73
00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:44,167
There's a young lady
out here to see you.
74
00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:45,417
- For me?
- Aha!
75
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:47,167
Fantastico!
76
00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:49,709
Yes! Yes!
77
00:06:49,792 --> 00:06:52,042
A young lady!
78
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,709
Hey, amico!
79
00:06:54,792 --> 00:06:57,709
There's a girl waiting for me!
80
00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,334
Hey, hey, Mama, I'm...
81
00:06:59,417 --> 00:07:01,042
Oh, oh, Pistachio.
82
00:07:01,125 --> 00:07:04,042
Why don't you ask your nice
young lady friend to come in,
83
00:07:04,125 --> 00:07:06,292
and I'll make you
corned beef ravioli?
84
00:07:06,375 --> 00:07:09,417
What a grand idea, Mama!
85
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:12,751
Oh, my sonny-son, handsome son.
86
00:07:12,834 --> 00:07:15,751
Go, go, go. Oh!
87
00:07:15,834 --> 00:07:17,751
[barks]
88
00:07:17,834 --> 00:07:22,125
[Grandfather] Naturally, Pistachio
wanted to find a girl just like mama.
89
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:23,959
♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪
90
00:07:24,042 --> 00:07:27,918
♪ Whoa-oh
I'm walking on sunshine ♪
91
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:32,250
Ah, Sophia. What an
unexpected surprise, love cake.
92
00:07:32,334 --> 00:07:33,834
Love cake?
93
00:07:33,918 --> 00:07:36,542
I so enjoyed meeting you
last evening.
94
00:07:36,626 --> 00:07:39,751
Yeah, listen, Pistachios, I know we
had some laughs at the bar last night,
95
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,876
- Yeah.
- But you're not my type.
96
00:07:41,959 --> 00:07:45,375
Besides, I have a boyfriend,
so don't call me, okay?
97
00:07:45,459 --> 00:07:47,584
I gotta go.
98
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:49,876
Yes.
99
00:07:49,959 --> 00:07:54,083
Something about her
reminds me of my mama.
100
00:07:55,334 --> 00:07:57,209
Oh, yes, she will be
a great cook!
101
00:07:57,292 --> 00:08:00,792
Eh, Papa.
102
00:08:00,876 --> 00:08:03,792
Yes, I-I straighten.
103
00:08:03,876 --> 00:08:06,375
I straighten the menu.
104
00:08:12,334 --> 00:08:16,083
[screams] I'm okay. I'm okay.
105
00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:20,459
Oh. Excuse, young man.
I couldn't help but notice
106
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:23,751
that you became acquainted
with the sidewalk a moment ago.
107
00:08:23,834 --> 00:08:25,959
I'm not a sports kid.
108
00:08:26,042 --> 00:08:29,417
Pistachio, why don't you do one of
your funny voices and cheer the kid up?
109
00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:32,876
What an excellent idea,
Bernardo. Yes, yes.
110
00:08:32,959 --> 00:08:37,334
I do for you now a scene from
the hit motion picture Shrek.
111
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:42,167
You ready? Okay. "Why don't
you get away from me, Donkey?"
112
00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:46,876
"What you talking about, get
away from you? I'm makin' waffles."
113
00:08:50,459 --> 00:08:52,459
- Eh... eh...
- [dog barks]
114
00:08:52,542 --> 00:08:54,792
[boy] Oh, what a cute
little puppy.
115
00:08:55,751 --> 00:08:57,709
Oh, I see you like my dog, yes.
116
00:08:57,792 --> 00:09:00,083
His name is the Cuteness.
117
00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:01,542
I never had a dog.
118
00:09:01,626 --> 00:09:05,334
Well, perhaps your papa
will buy you a dog.
119
00:09:05,417 --> 00:09:06,959
I never had a dad.
120
00:09:07,042 --> 00:09:08,626
[stammers]
121
00:09:10,459 --> 00:09:12,250
Papa deficient, yes.
122
00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:16,459
You can play with the Cuteness
anytime you want.
123
00:09:16,542 --> 00:09:18,209
[giggles]
124
00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:19,626
Allow me to introduce myself.
125
00:09:19,709 --> 00:09:22,125
My name is Pistachio Disguisey.
126
00:09:22,209 --> 00:09:23,918
My name's Barney Baker.
127
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,959
A pleasure, Barney Baker.
128
00:09:26,042 --> 00:09:30,584
And now hungry patrons.
Arrivederci!
129
00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:34,083
Buona sera, signore.
130
00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:39,876
Oh! [Chuckles]
131
00:09:39,959 --> 00:09:41,959
Ya-ya-ya-ya. [Chuckles]
132
00:09:42,042 --> 00:09:46,500
♪ La la la la la la la
la la la ♪ - [man gasps]
133
00:09:46,584 --> 00:09:49,542
[humming] Oh, yes.
134
00:09:49,626 --> 00:09:53,500
Hey, moron, use a tray next
time. Those are too many plates.
135
00:09:53,584 --> 00:09:56,334
Ah, the new waiter, Rex.
[chuckles]
136
00:09:56,417 --> 00:09:59,209
So cute in your inexperience.
137
00:09:59,292 --> 00:10:03,459
Watch and learn, my friend.
138
00:10:09,459 --> 00:10:10,959
[gasping]
139
00:10:11,042 --> 00:10:16,792
Oh, yes, yes. I...
yes, I clean. I clean.
140
00:10:16,876 --> 00:10:19,292
Good-bye, gooey sauce.
141
00:10:19,375 --> 00:10:23,042
Oh, yes. [Mutters]
142
00:10:23,125 --> 00:10:25,167
Cheese, yes. I give you cheese.
143
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:28,042
Yes, nice cheese. Yes, cheese.
144
00:10:28,125 --> 00:10:30,584
You like, huh? Oh, yes.
145
00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:35,375
Yes, I like, I like... Papa!
146
00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:41,042
And finally we have
fresh, bouncing baby shrimp.
147
00:10:41,125 --> 00:10:43,709
I'll just take the spaghetti.
148
00:10:43,792 --> 00:10:45,417
And do me a favor, buddy.
149
00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:48,250
Get me some man-sized meatballs.
150
00:10:48,334 --> 00:10:53,083
[echoing] Meatballs.
Meatballs. Meatballs.
151
00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:57,459
Am I going too fast for ya?
152
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:03,250
[imitating accent]
Am I going too fast for ya?
153
00:11:03,334 --> 00:11:05,626
- Huh?
- Are you mocking my husband?
154
00:11:05,709 --> 00:11:07,768
- Are you mocking my husband?
- 'Cause you better not be.
155
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,209
- 'Cause you better not be.
- [grunts]
156
00:11:10,292 --> 00:11:11,792
[imitates grunt]
157
00:11:11,876 --> 00:11:14,250
Pistachio, stop it. No mocking.
158
00:11:14,334 --> 00:11:16,751
- Pistachio, stop it. No mocking.
- No, no, no.
159
00:11:16,834 --> 00:11:18,709
I don't know why you let
that little nut ball
160
00:11:18,792 --> 00:11:20,584
be a waiter in the first place.
161
00:11:20,667 --> 00:11:23,417
Listen, you. You have
a problem with my son,
162
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,334
then you have a problem with me.
163
00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:30,792
- You are not welcome here. You and you, get out!
- [mumbling]
164
00:11:31,834 --> 00:11:34,083
Pistachio, what did I tell you?
165
00:11:34,167 --> 00:11:36,751
Yes, I know, Papa. I'm sorry.
166
00:11:36,834 --> 00:11:39,918
I couldn't help myself.
The mocking's getting worse.
167
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,709
Nonsense.
168
00:11:41,792 --> 00:11:44,876
Sometimes there's so many voices
in my head, I don't know who I am.
169
00:11:44,959 --> 00:11:49,626
Listen to me. You are Pistachio
Disguisey, and you are a great waiter.
170
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,334
Yes, that is one of the voices,
171
00:11:51,417 --> 00:11:53,018
I'll give you that.
Not the loudest one, but...
172
00:11:53,042 --> 00:11:56,876
No, no, you are my son,
you understand?
173
00:11:56,959 --> 00:11:59,792
And I will always
be proud of you. Eh?
174
00:11:59,876 --> 00:12:03,626
[customers chattering] - We
should've gone to Burger King.
175
00:12:03,709 --> 00:12:06,709
Perhaps my destiny
is somewhere far away.
176
00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:10,918
No, no, no, my son,
your destiny is here, okay?
177
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,292
Yes, destiny is here.
178
00:12:13,375 --> 00:12:16,417
But, Papa, don't preach.
I'm in trouble deep.
179
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:18,834
And I'm keeping my baby.
180
00:12:20,167 --> 00:12:22,209
- Eh, what?
- What?
181
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,667
[girl giggling]
182
00:12:28,209 --> 00:12:31,500
[man murmuring, kissing]
183
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:36,959
Excuse, waiter Rex. What are you
doing with your arm around the cake?
184
00:12:37,042 --> 00:12:41,792
And, the tush queen, what are you
doing out here with the oversized Rex?
185
00:12:41,876 --> 00:12:45,417
Look, Pistachios, the silly
voices, the makin' faces,
186
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:47,959
it was fun for, like,
one second, okay?
187
00:12:48,042 --> 00:12:50,709
- Only one second?
- I never wanted to go out with you.
188
00:12:50,792 --> 00:12:55,375
- I'm in love with Rex, okay?
- Yeah. Got it?
189
00:12:57,209 --> 00:12:59,751
I see. I can take a hint.
190
00:12:59,834 --> 00:13:04,042
The message is coming
through loud and c-clear.
191
00:13:04,125 --> 00:13:07,167
[sighs] I gotta get
back to work, baby.
192
00:13:07,250 --> 00:13:11,834
Okay. Good-bye, Pistachios.
193
00:13:11,918 --> 00:13:13,209
[grunts]
194
00:13:15,250 --> 00:13:17,125
[humming]
195
00:13:17,209 --> 00:13:22,125
[vehicle approaches,
tires screech]
196
00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:27,000
Hey, get in the car, huh?
197
00:13:27,083 --> 00:13:30,709
Oh, my little cannoli. You'll
make my Pistachio very happy.
198
00:13:30,792 --> 00:13:32,709
[gasps] Oh!
199
00:13:32,792 --> 00:13:34,876
[men struggling]
Get in the car now!
200
00:13:34,959 --> 00:13:37,709
- Get him in there!
- [punches landing]
201
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:42,792
- [man] Let's go.
- [tires screeching]
202
00:13:43,751 --> 00:13:47,209
- [dog barking]
- Ransacked!
203
00:13:47,292 --> 00:13:51,292
Hello, police? In my
home, it is full of ransackery.
204
00:13:51,375 --> 00:13:53,417
Everything different.
Where do I...
205
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:56,292
My name is Pistachio. And,
oh, Mama's cannoli is here.
206
00:13:56,375 --> 00:13:59,542
- [man on phone] Don't call again.
- [dial tone]
207
00:13:59,626 --> 00:14:01,334
Mama! Papa!
208
00:14:01,417 --> 00:14:04,042
Please, heavenly father,
show me a sign.
209
00:14:04,125 --> 00:14:06,042
I promise I will never
mock you again.
210
00:14:06,125 --> 00:14:08,125
My family is missing,
and I don't know what to do.
211
00:14:08,209 --> 00:14:11,250
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
212
00:14:11,334 --> 00:14:15,292
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
213
00:14:15,375 --> 00:14:19,083
- [theme from The Exorcist]
- [door opens, closes]
214
00:14:31,626 --> 00:14:33,500
[door creaks]
215
00:14:37,542 --> 00:14:41,792
- Can I help you?
- I came to help you, Pistachio.
216
00:14:41,876 --> 00:14:46,459
- Help me what?
- Find your mother and your father, my son.
217
00:14:46,542 --> 00:14:50,584
My father, your son.
218
00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:54,334
Holy cannoli, you are my sister!
219
00:14:55,375 --> 00:14:57,167
You don't have a sister,
you pea brain!
220
00:14:57,250 --> 00:15:01,083
- I am your grandfather.
- Yes, that was my next choice.
221
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:04,417
It's been 23 years. How did
you know that I needed this help?
222
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:07,250
That answer and more
will be revealed shortly.
223
00:15:07,334 --> 00:15:11,918
But for now, let me in.
I hunger!
224
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,918
So, I come down
from the rooftop,
225
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,125
and then I come home
and there's no Mama,
226
00:15:16,209 --> 00:15:19,792
no Papa, just ransackery.
227
00:15:19,876 --> 00:15:22,667
- Did you ask Jeeves?
- Yes, but no such luck.
228
00:15:22,751 --> 00:15:26,417
When you were on the roof, did you
hear something that sounded like this?
229
00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:30,751
Yes, exactly that,
230
00:15:30,834 --> 00:15:34,334
but without the pain on my face.
231
00:15:34,417 --> 00:15:36,250
We have a clue!
232
00:15:36,334 --> 00:15:38,500
[stammers]
233
00:15:43,459 --> 00:15:46,083
Grandpapa?
234
00:15:46,167 --> 00:15:50,292
Oh. I'm sorry. I'm
looking for my grandfather.
235
00:15:50,375 --> 00:15:55,334
- Grandfather not here.
- I'm sorry.
236
00:15:55,417 --> 00:15:58,000
[Grandfather's voice]
It's me, you idiot!
237
00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:00,667
Amazing. You sound
just like Grandfather.
238
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:04,125
Fool! I am your grandfather.
239
00:16:04,209 --> 00:16:08,209
[stammers] What...
What... I don't... Why...
240
00:16:09,792 --> 00:16:11,876
Oh! Yes.
241
00:16:11,959 --> 00:16:14,876
Latex rubber.
242
00:16:14,959 --> 00:16:17,334
Yes, it's so soft.
243
00:16:17,417 --> 00:16:21,542
It like a soft,
fat baby-bottom face.
244
00:16:21,626 --> 00:16:24,334
This is nothing. I'm rusty.
245
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:29,667
When I'm on the top of my
game, my disguise is seamless!
246
00:16:29,751 --> 00:16:32,500
Yes, yes, without the seams.
247
00:16:33,584 --> 00:16:37,500
And the place
is so incredibly clean,
248
00:16:37,584 --> 00:16:39,500
So tidy.
249
00:16:39,584 --> 00:16:42,834
- Bravo, Grandpa.
- [grunts]
250
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:45,125
Put a clamp on your pastry hole.
251
00:16:45,209 --> 00:16:48,125
I'm going to give it
to you straight.
252
00:16:48,209 --> 00:16:50,584
You are a Disguisey.
253
00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:52,876
- Yes, Pistachio Disguisey.
- I'm begging you,
254
00:16:52,959 --> 00:16:55,167
curb your yammering skull cave.
255
00:16:56,417 --> 00:16:58,250
Now, throughout history,
256
00:16:58,334 --> 00:17:02,209
the Disguiseys have used
their skills as Masters of Disguise
257
00:17:02,292 --> 00:17:05,542
for the betterment of mankind.
258
00:17:05,626 --> 00:17:09,375
[Grandfather] In Europe, they
used their power to catch thieves.
259
00:17:09,459 --> 00:17:12,000
Now I've got it. It's mine.
260
00:17:12,083 --> 00:17:15,292
[screams] The statue is alive!
261
00:17:15,375 --> 00:17:18,542
They were among the world's
first environmentalists.
262
00:17:18,626 --> 00:17:22,042
Sorry, George Washington.
No cherry tree for you.
263
00:17:24,834 --> 00:17:27,626
Abraham Lincoln
was such a boring speaker
264
00:17:27,709 --> 00:17:31,459
that the Disguiseys had to
help him get elected president.
265
00:17:31,542 --> 00:17:32,959
[whistle]
266
00:17:33,959 --> 00:17:36,792
If you'll excuse me,
I just need a drink of water.
267
00:17:36,876 --> 00:17:38,083
[clears throat]
268
00:17:38,167 --> 00:17:41,459
- Rough crowd.
- Whoo, yeah!
269
00:17:41,542 --> 00:17:43,626
Let's party! Hit it, boys!
270
00:17:43,709 --> 00:17:47,459
♪ I like to move it, move it
I like to move it, move it ♪
271
00:17:47,542 --> 00:17:49,584
Vote for me,
we'll get funky this year!
272
00:17:49,667 --> 00:17:53,876
♪ You like to move it, move it
I like to move it, move it ♪
273
00:17:53,959 --> 00:17:55,667
♪ I like to move it, move it ♪
274
00:17:55,751 --> 00:17:58,459
Well, this is
your legacy, Pistachio.
275
00:17:58,542 --> 00:18:02,292
These are your people,
and you are one of them.
276
00:18:02,375 --> 00:18:04,334
But my papa
just runs a restaurant.
277
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:08,167
Your father was once the
world's greatest Master of Disguise.
278
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:10,375
But my papa
just runs a restaurant.
279
00:18:10,459 --> 00:18:16,500
This is what you are doing. This is
what I want you to do. Any questions?
280
00:18:16,584 --> 00:18:19,334
Your parents,
despite my objections,
281
00:18:19,417 --> 00:18:22,209
insisted on keeping
the legacy a secret.
282
00:18:22,292 --> 00:18:24,709
That is why we have not
spoken in over 20 years.
283
00:18:24,792 --> 00:18:28,083
But my papa... ah-ha.
284
00:18:28,167 --> 00:18:30,751
Ho.
285
00:18:30,834 --> 00:18:34,417
It is time for you to find
your father and mother.
286
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:39,000
You mean "we". We find
my father and my mother.
287
00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:42,125
- Impossible. Sorry.
- But why?
288
00:18:42,209 --> 00:18:46,375
This is the sacred book
of the Disguisey way.
289
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:50,125
- Like a boy scout handbook, right?
- [chuckles]
290
00:18:50,209 --> 00:18:54,834
You cannot compare this book
to anything else known to man.
291
00:18:58,459 --> 00:19:01,125
Hey, it's a pop-up.
292
00:19:03,167 --> 00:19:05,209
"If a father
and mother are missing,
293
00:19:05,292 --> 00:19:10,167
only a son who has become a
Master of Disguise can save them
294
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:15,083
without any direct help
from the grandfather."
295
00:19:15,167 --> 00:19:17,709
That's one specific farmer.
296
00:19:17,792 --> 00:19:20,209
Now I must find
your father's Nest.
297
00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:22,417
Uh, come again? A nest?
298
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:26,751
Yes, is there a place your father
goes to to spend time by himself
299
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:28,918
that is dark, that is secretive?
300
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,751
The attic is dark and secretive.
301
00:19:31,834 --> 00:19:35,417
Show me this attic.
302
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:39,792
- So, Grandpa, this is the attic.
- Yeah.
303
00:19:39,876 --> 00:19:41,959
[Grandfather] Well, this is
a pretty ordinary attic.
304
00:19:42,042 --> 00:19:46,876
There's nothing that a... oh!
305
00:19:46,959 --> 00:19:49,292
Yes? What? What?
306
00:19:49,375 --> 00:19:52,042
What? What? [Gasps]
307
00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:55,876
A magic ball. What...
308
00:20:11,209 --> 00:20:13,042
[horse neighs]
309
00:20:15,709 --> 00:20:18,792
- [bell ringing]
- [cymbals clanging]
310
00:20:36,042 --> 00:20:40,042
[Grandfather]
Behold your father's Nest.
311
00:20:40,125 --> 00:20:43,083
- Heavens to Betsy!
- Yes.
312
00:20:43,167 --> 00:20:46,959
- I knew he would keep one just in case.
- Just in case.
313
00:20:47,042 --> 00:20:49,792
Now I can teach you to
become a Master of Disguise.
314
00:20:49,876 --> 00:20:52,751
Really? I-I'm going to
be a Master of Disguise?
315
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:55,083
♪ I'm going to be
a Master of Disguise ♪
316
00:20:55,167 --> 00:20:57,351
♪ I'm going to be a Master
of Disguise I'm going to... ♪
317
00:20:57,375 --> 00:21:01,834
Enough! Your mother and father
are in grave danger.
318
00:21:01,918 --> 00:21:07,584
Your training begins now!
319
00:21:09,042 --> 00:21:10,667
[chittering]
320
00:21:12,959 --> 00:21:14,792
[chittering]
321
00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:26,542
♪ Listen up
I got a story to tell ♪
322
00:21:26,626 --> 00:21:28,560
♪ About the dopest new hero
and I know him so well ♪
323
00:21:28,584 --> 00:21:31,083
♪ He was a little waiter
with Italian food ♪
324
00:21:31,167 --> 00:21:34,500
[Pistachio] That is brilliant.
You are disguised as a fatty.
325
00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:37,500
[rap continues, indistinct]
326
00:21:39,250 --> 00:21:43,042
What is happening? Ah!
I'm getting bigger!
327
00:21:43,125 --> 00:21:46,626
- I got so fat.
- Pistachio. Pistachio!
328
00:21:52,459 --> 00:21:55,667
[Pistachio screaming]
329
00:21:56,918 --> 00:21:59,459
- Oh!
- Aah!
330
00:21:59,542 --> 00:22:01,000
[bell rings]
331
00:22:01,083 --> 00:22:06,667
♪ He's the Master of Disguise ♪
332
00:22:06,751 --> 00:22:11,417
♪ He's the Master of Disguise ♪
333
00:22:12,792 --> 00:22:14,250
[snoring]
334
00:22:18,334 --> 00:22:19,918
[screams]
335
00:22:23,417 --> 00:22:24,584
Remember me?
336
00:22:27,250 --> 00:22:29,751
Devlin Bowman?
337
00:22:29,834 --> 00:22:33,918
We both know you were the woman
that night in Palermo.
338
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:38,375
And because of you,
I spent 20 years in prison.
339
00:22:40,125 --> 00:22:42,292
- [beeps]
- [woman on TV humming]
340
00:22:42,375 --> 00:22:45,000
[Bowman] Thanks to a special
potion in the caramel corn,
341
00:22:45,083 --> 00:22:48,167
she thinks she's still
at home preparing dinner.
342
00:22:48,250 --> 00:22:52,500
- But we know better, don't we?
- [watch beeps]
343
00:22:52,584 --> 00:22:55,167
[screams] My goodness!
344
00:22:55,250 --> 00:22:56,250
[whimpering]
345
00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:58,876
- Okay, okay, stop!
- [beeps]
346
00:23:01,459 --> 00:23:03,042
♪ We're gonna have soup today ♪
347
00:23:03,125 --> 00:23:07,626
You're right. I was Bo
Derek that night in Palermo.
348
00:23:07,709 --> 00:23:11,876
- What do you want?
- I want you to drop your pizza apron,
349
00:23:11,959 --> 00:23:14,083
become a Master of Disguise
once again
350
00:23:14,167 --> 00:23:18,626
and help me obtain
the world's rarest treasures.
351
00:23:18,709 --> 00:23:20,959
You're a sick man, Bowman.
352
00:23:21,042 --> 00:23:23,375
[laughs]
353
00:23:23,459 --> 00:23:24,959
[farts]
354
00:23:32,125 --> 00:23:35,209
- Oh, yeah? The teeth here.
- Yes.
355
00:23:35,292 --> 00:23:37,375
- Good. Here and here.
- Yes.
356
00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:41,375
That's a minimal adhesive
spillage. That's not bad.
357
00:23:41,459 --> 00:23:45,542
Yes, good. Now, now all I have
to do is disguise my voice, right?
358
00:23:45,626 --> 00:23:48,667
[chuckles] Open
sesame! Open sesame!
359
00:23:48,751 --> 00:23:51,500
- [playing]
- Stop that!
360
00:23:52,876 --> 00:23:56,375
Buffoon. Clown. You
look like a cheap mimic.
361
00:23:56,459 --> 00:23:59,834
Anyone can put on a
disguise or change his voice.
362
00:23:59,918 --> 00:24:02,918
Anybody? But you said that was
the secret power of the Disguiseys.
363
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,250
Not exactly. It's
time for you to learn
364
00:24:06,334 --> 00:24:08,250
about the invisible energy field
365
00:24:08,334 --> 00:24:11,918
that bonds all Disguiseys,
past and present.
366
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,876
It is called energico.
367
00:24:15,959 --> 00:24:17,959
Energico.
368
00:24:18,042 --> 00:24:20,459
When you learn
to tap into energico,
369
00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:23,876
you will be able to access
words, skills, ideas
370
00:24:23,959 --> 00:24:25,500
that you never dreamed
were possible.
371
00:24:25,584 --> 00:24:27,334
You can think
like another person.
372
00:24:27,417 --> 00:24:29,334
You will be able to act
like another person.
373
00:24:29,417 --> 00:24:33,125
To feel like another person.
You will become
374
00:24:33,209 --> 00:24:36,459
another person.
375
00:24:36,542 --> 00:24:38,626
Become another person.
376
00:24:38,709 --> 00:24:42,500
- Yes!
- But first, you must repeat the mantra.
377
00:24:42,584 --> 00:24:46,125
"Become another person."
378
00:24:46,209 --> 00:24:48,417
Become another person.
Nothing's happening.
379
00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:51,083
- Again!
- Become another person.
380
00:24:51,167 --> 00:24:52,834
- Repeat!
- Become another person.
381
00:24:52,918 --> 00:24:58,125
Become another person.
Become another person.
382
00:24:58,209 --> 00:25:00,667
Good. Who are you now?
383
00:25:00,751 --> 00:25:03,185
The question is not "Who I am?"
The question is "Who are you?"
384
00:25:03,209 --> 00:25:05,417
I know who I am.
I am Prince Lali Jhamba
385
00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:07,584
from the Ringy Dingy Heights,
near Bombay, Calcutta
386
00:25:07,667 --> 00:25:11,334
and New Delhi, India,
India, India, India.
387
00:25:11,417 --> 00:25:13,626
It is time to test that.
388
00:25:15,083 --> 00:25:16,375
- What is it?
- [hisses]
389
00:25:16,459 --> 00:25:19,334
Oh, yeah. That is a big reptile.
390
00:25:19,417 --> 00:25:21,834
Not a problem.
391
00:25:21,918 --> 00:25:24,459
[saxophone playing
easy-listening]
392
00:25:33,167 --> 00:25:37,459
Oh, yes, he wouldn't hurt
anybody now.
393
00:25:37,542 --> 00:25:40,792
I'm going to call him Buttercup.
394
00:25:40,876 --> 00:25:42,751
- Oh, so cute, eh?
- [hisses]
395
00:25:42,834 --> 00:25:46,542
- [laughs]
- Tickle, tickle, tickle.
396
00:25:46,626 --> 00:25:49,167
Oh! [Chitters]
397
00:25:49,250 --> 00:25:52,626
Energico! God
help me, I love it!
398
00:25:52,709 --> 00:25:55,083
[laughing] Down, boy. Down, boy.
399
00:25:55,167 --> 00:25:58,500
- A complete transformation.
- Goochie-goochie-goo.
400
00:25:58,584 --> 00:26:01,334
Yeah, you like the cheese.
Go get the cheese, Buttercup.
401
00:26:01,417 --> 00:26:03,334
You know you love it. Oh!
402
00:26:03,417 --> 00:26:05,876
[Grandfather] Now, Pistachio,
403
00:26:05,959 --> 00:26:07,542
sometimes during your travels,
404
00:26:07,626 --> 00:26:09,626
- you may be required to defend yourself.
- Yes.
405
00:26:09,709 --> 00:26:13,626
Now the Disguiseys do not
believe in hitting with a closed fist.
406
00:26:13,709 --> 00:26:15,876
You must always hit
with an open hand.
407
00:26:15,959 --> 00:26:19,584
You make your point, but
you give the man his dignity.
408
00:26:19,667 --> 00:26:21,626
- Dignity.
- Observe.
409
00:26:24,792 --> 00:26:26,834
Ah! Eh? [Laughs]
410
00:26:26,918 --> 00:26:30,834
Elbows in, extend.
Now you try it.
411
00:26:30,918 --> 00:26:33,834
Elbow in, extend.
412
00:26:35,584 --> 00:26:37,709
Okay, slapping dummy man.
413
00:26:37,792 --> 00:26:38,792
Gah!
414
00:26:38,876 --> 00:26:42,000
There! Well, I think I've got...
415
00:26:42,083 --> 00:26:46,125
Pistachio, no, no. You must
learn to empty your mind
416
00:26:46,209 --> 00:26:48,000
and allow energico
to flow through you.
417
00:26:48,083 --> 00:26:50,918
Yes, yes. Well, is there a
mantra for the hitting part?
418
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:54,042
No, but it is demoralizing
to your opponent
419
00:26:54,125 --> 00:26:57,417
to repeat the phrase "Who's
your daddy?" in mid-slap.
420
00:26:57,500 --> 00:26:59,459
- Okay.
- Watch.
421
00:26:59,542 --> 00:27:04,083
Who's your daddy? Who's
your daddy? Who's your daddy?
422
00:27:09,334 --> 00:27:11,476
Hey, guys, thanks for letting
me borrow the constitution.
423
00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:14,209
Are you kidding? You're Michael
Johnson, the fastest man alive.
424
00:27:14,292 --> 00:27:15,834
Yeah, well. You ready?
425
00:27:15,918 --> 00:27:17,834
Yes, sir, Mr. Johnson.
426
00:27:19,459 --> 00:27:21,000
Go!
427
00:27:21,083 --> 00:27:24,500
[theme from Chariots of Fire]
428
00:27:25,417 --> 00:27:27,083
Thanks, guys!
429
00:27:27,167 --> 00:27:29,876
You should read this, Bowman.
430
00:27:31,083 --> 00:27:33,000
You might learn something.
431
00:27:33,083 --> 00:27:36,792
I love having a Master
of Disguise do my bidding.
432
00:27:36,876 --> 00:27:41,959
- That's it!
- Tut-tut-tut. Have you forgotten something?
433
00:27:42,042 --> 00:27:45,375
My men are ready to pounce
on my command.
434
00:27:45,459 --> 00:27:49,083
- No more. Please! Stop!
- All right. All right.
435
00:27:50,792 --> 00:27:52,918
[Bowman laughing]
436
00:27:55,334 --> 00:27:56,918
[farts]
437
00:28:02,250 --> 00:28:04,626
[whistling]
438
00:28:15,667 --> 00:28:20,500
Okay, so you want to play
games? Let's play games.
439
00:28:20,584 --> 00:28:23,959
Ooh! Ooh! [Laughs]
440
00:28:24,042 --> 00:28:26,209
Who is your daddy?
441
00:28:26,292 --> 00:28:27,834
I'm your daddy. I'm your daddy.
442
00:28:27,918 --> 00:28:29,459
I'm your daddy. I'm your daddy.
443
00:28:29,542 --> 00:28:30,876
I'm your daddy. I'm your daddy.
444
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,185
I'm your daddy. I'm your daddy.
445
00:28:32,209 --> 00:28:34,125
[dog barking]
446
00:28:36,667 --> 00:28:39,375
- Hey, look it.
- Huh?
447
00:28:43,918 --> 00:28:47,000
[Grandfather] She could be
a good wife for you.
448
00:28:48,876 --> 00:28:50,042
[dogs barking]
449
00:28:51,959 --> 00:28:55,584
Well, am I truly
a Master of Disguise now?
450
00:28:55,667 --> 00:28:56,918
Not exactly.
451
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:58,334
You are a level-one apprentice.
452
00:28:58,417 --> 00:29:00,876
- White belt.
- Yes, yes, yes.
453
00:29:00,959 --> 00:29:03,334
A level one.
I like the sound of that.
454
00:29:03,417 --> 00:29:07,250
- How many levels are there?
- Seven thousand.
455
00:29:07,334 --> 00:29:11,042
That's many colored belts.
456
00:29:11,125 --> 00:29:12,792
Yes, you are a rookie.
457
00:29:12,876 --> 00:29:16,334
Listen. It is
a Disguisey tradition
458
00:29:16,417 --> 00:29:19,876
at this point in time
that we hire you an assistant.
459
00:29:19,959 --> 00:29:23,792
An assistant? Yes, I'm
going to get an assistant.
460
00:29:23,876 --> 00:29:27,125
Well, I was executive secretary
for Jensen and Loeb.
461
00:29:27,209 --> 00:29:29,667
- Get out!
- I beg your pardon?
462
00:29:29,751 --> 00:29:31,250
Out now!
463
00:29:33,751 --> 00:29:35,626
Get out.
464
00:29:35,709 --> 00:29:37,834
What are you doing here?
History!
465
00:29:37,918 --> 00:29:40,417
Wrong! Take her away! Get out!
466
00:29:40,500 --> 00:29:44,250
Idiot, get out! Freak, get out!
467
00:29:44,334 --> 00:29:47,250
Leave! Get out! Leave! Out! Out!
468
00:29:47,334 --> 00:29:51,500
Fifty applicants, fifty losers.
469
00:29:51,584 --> 00:29:54,792
Yes. Perhaps my destiny
470
00:29:54,876 --> 00:29:58,125
does not come with an assistant.
471
00:29:58,209 --> 00:30:00,542
- [Barney screams]
- [crash]
472
00:30:00,626 --> 00:30:03,584
I'm okay. I'm okay.
473
00:30:03,667 --> 00:30:06,334
[Grandfather] You're too young
for this job. Do yourself a favor.
474
00:30:06,417 --> 00:30:08,643
Go home and tell your mommy
to change your diaper. Get out!
475
00:30:08,667 --> 00:30:12,918
- I don't wear a diaper.
- Hey, Pistachio, you gotta see this.
476
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:16,042
- There's a talking baby here.
- I want to see the talking baby.
477
00:30:16,125 --> 00:30:20,334
Goochie-goochie-goo. Brave
Barney Baker, good to see you again.
478
00:30:20,417 --> 00:30:22,667
- You know this baby?
- Yes, of course.
479
00:30:22,751 --> 00:30:24,834
I was potty-trained
when I was two.
480
00:30:24,918 --> 00:30:29,292
Of course. You are the
conductor of the potty train.
481
00:30:30,250 --> 00:30:32,584
Barney, is this the place?
482
00:30:32,667 --> 00:30:36,209
Hi. Oh, I'm sorry. I just came from
a yoga class. I hope that's okay.
483
00:30:36,292 --> 00:30:38,959
Grandpa, this is Barney and...
484
00:30:39,042 --> 00:30:41,250
Oh, I'm his mom, Jennifer. Hi.
485
00:30:41,334 --> 00:30:43,918
- Jennifer. A pleasure. Yes.
- Um...
486
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:48,417
Sweetie, um, go practice your
ollies, and I'll see you later, okay?
487
00:30:48,500 --> 00:30:51,167
- Bye.
- Please. Come in.
488
00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:55,709
- Measurements.
- Measurements? What for?
489
00:30:55,792 --> 00:30:59,417
- It's for a uniform.
- Oh, oh, yeah. Okay.
490
00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:01,876
It's 35-24-34.
491
00:31:01,959 --> 00:31:06,417
- [snickers] A little bottom.
- You said 34?
492
00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:09,709
- [men laughing]
- [squeaking]
493
00:31:09,792 --> 00:31:14,334
I don't know if I'm right for this. Barney
told me that you were looking, so
494
00:31:14,417 --> 00:31:19,959
I'm sorry. He's only seven. He
thinks your name is Pistachio.
495
00:31:20,042 --> 00:31:24,250
- That is my name.
- Oh. That's nice.
496
00:31:24,334 --> 00:31:27,042
Um, so okay, what is...
What is the job?
497
00:31:27,125 --> 00:31:29,083
What exactly do you guys do?
498
00:31:29,167 --> 00:31:33,125
I'm a Master of Disguise. He
is also a Master of Disguise.
499
00:31:33,209 --> 00:31:36,125
Yeah, well, technically,
he's a level-one apprentice.
500
00:31:36,209 --> 00:31:39,000
Excuse me? I'm sorry. Master
of Disguise? I don't get it.
501
00:31:39,083 --> 00:31:43,167
You got a problem with the word
"master" or the word "disguise"?
502
00:31:43,250 --> 00:31:46,500
Or the word "of"?
503
00:31:46,584 --> 00:31:49,083
Well, what would I have to do?
504
00:31:49,167 --> 00:31:52,459
- What does she have to do?
- Eh, not so fast.
505
00:31:52,542 --> 00:31:56,209
Answer me this first. Do you
fold easily under pressure?
506
00:31:56,292 --> 00:31:58,626
What kind of pressure
are you talking about?
507
00:31:58,709 --> 00:32:00,560
The kind that makes you cry
out in the night like a little baby.
508
00:32:00,584 --> 00:32:02,542
Like a little baby in its crib.
509
00:32:02,626 --> 00:32:06,667
- What's it pay?
- Pay? What about being paid in honor, dignity, pride?
510
00:32:06,751 --> 00:32:10,000
Honor, dignity, pride.
In its crib.
511
00:32:10,083 --> 00:32:12,083
Actually, I need cash.
512
00:32:12,167 --> 00:32:15,459
Oh, this cat has claws.
513
00:32:16,459 --> 00:32:18,918
- Me like it.
- Me like it too.
514
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,417
But this cat's
got no mama caboose.
515
00:32:21,500 --> 00:32:23,959
You guys know
I can hear you, right?
516
00:32:26,918 --> 00:32:31,083
[speaking Italian]
517
00:32:42,167 --> 00:32:43,834
[sneezes]
518
00:32:43,918 --> 00:32:47,751
- God bless you.
- It pays $417 a week, plus Delta Dental.
519
00:32:47,834 --> 00:32:50,876
- I'll take it.
- It's yours. But hear me true.
520
00:32:50,959 --> 00:32:54,792
Assistants commonly fall in love
with their Disguisey masters.
521
00:32:54,876 --> 00:32:57,918
Can you resist Pistachio?
522
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:02,000
Yes, can you resist me?
523
00:33:02,959 --> 00:33:04,626
[chuckles]
524
00:33:07,542 --> 00:33:10,667
So, listen to me true,
Pistachio.
525
00:33:10,751 --> 00:33:13,834
You are now
a level-1.5 apprentice.
526
00:33:13,918 --> 00:33:15,834
But, master,
without your guidance,
527
00:33:15,918 --> 00:33:17,959
how will I know
what to disguise myself as?
528
00:33:18,042 --> 00:33:20,584
You will have to listen to
your Disguisey instincts.
529
00:33:20,667 --> 00:33:23,834
Answer these questions for
yourself: Who? Why? Where?
530
00:33:23,918 --> 00:33:27,042
How would they take your mother,
the Cuteness and your father, my son?
531
00:33:27,125 --> 00:33:30,584
- Yes, yes, yes. Who, why, where and why.
- No.
532
00:33:30,667 --> 00:33:33,334
Wrong! Who, why, where and how.
533
00:33:33,417 --> 00:33:35,751
Oh, yes. Who, why, what
534
00:33:35,834 --> 00:33:39,334
and what and what
and what and what?
535
00:33:39,417 --> 00:33:41,918
Wrong! Who, why, where, how!
536
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,375
Yes, yes, yes.
Who, why, where, how.
537
00:33:45,459 --> 00:33:49,459
- That's it. You got it!
- Yes. Who, why, where, how.
538
00:33:49,542 --> 00:33:52,375
♪ I say who, why where, how ♪
539
00:33:52,459 --> 00:33:55,209
♪ I say who, why where, how ♪
540
00:33:55,292 --> 00:33:59,459
♪ I say who, why where, how ♪
541
00:34:00,584 --> 00:34:02,083
[Grandfather] You, employee.
542
00:34:03,918 --> 00:34:07,459
My grandson is still raw.
He's unfocused.
543
00:34:07,542 --> 00:34:12,083
When he becomes another
person, he may be unpredictable.
544
00:34:12,167 --> 00:34:15,667
About the dental. When I get stuff
done, when Barney gets stuff done,
545
00:34:15,751 --> 00:34:17,918
do I pay it
and then you reimburse me,
546
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,709
or do I bill
Delta Dental directly?
547
00:34:20,792 --> 00:34:23,250
I'm just not sure how it works.
548
00:34:23,334 --> 00:34:26,584
You sicken me. Oh!
549
00:34:26,667 --> 00:34:28,125
I almost forgot.
550
00:34:28,209 --> 00:34:32,667
[grunts] Here is
your Nest in a Box.
551
00:34:32,751 --> 00:34:34,209
Nest in a Box?
552
00:34:34,292 --> 00:34:36,250
You may need it.
It comes with instructions.
553
00:34:36,334 --> 00:34:39,626
Oh, and there is something else.
554
00:34:42,918 --> 00:34:45,709
The Disguisey Ball of Knowledge.
555
00:34:45,792 --> 00:34:47,500
When you are in dire straits
556
00:34:47,584 --> 00:34:52,500
and you don't know what to do,
this will come in handy.
557
00:34:52,584 --> 00:34:54,667
I won't let you down, master.
558
00:34:54,751 --> 00:34:57,167
Ah, I hope not.
559
00:34:58,584 --> 00:35:01,334
This Disguisey thing sure
comes with a lot of accoutrements.
560
00:35:02,542 --> 00:35:04,876
So long, master!
561
00:35:04,959 --> 00:35:07,500
- Bye-bye.
- All right, now.
562
00:35:07,584 --> 00:35:10,626
Where to begin our search?
563
00:35:10,709 --> 00:35:16,125
Well, I guess we could look around
at the spot your father was taken.
564
00:35:16,209 --> 00:35:18,667
- That's your idea? That's it?
- Yeah.
565
00:35:18,751 --> 00:35:22,500
To look around at the spot
where my father was taken?
566
00:35:22,584 --> 00:35:24,500
Oh, that's crazy.
567
00:35:24,584 --> 00:35:28,751
So crazy it just might work.
568
00:35:30,250 --> 00:35:33,167
You know,
this could be something.
569
00:35:38,792 --> 00:35:40,375
- [sighs]
- [headgear squeaks]
570
00:35:40,459 --> 00:35:43,209
Please, assistant,
don't play in the trash
571
00:35:43,292 --> 00:35:46,000
while I am in full
father-finding mode, okay?
572
00:35:46,083 --> 00:35:48,918
All I'm saying is I dated a
guy who used to smoke these.
573
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:52,751
This is a handmade cigar from
the Turtle Club. Look at the label.
574
00:35:52,834 --> 00:35:56,584
You want to play games?
I'll play games with you.
575
00:35:57,876 --> 00:36:00,375
There we go.
576
00:36:00,459 --> 00:36:02,292
[headgear squeaks]
577
00:36:02,375 --> 00:36:05,083
[Jennifer] All I'm saying is I dated
a guy who used to smoke these.
578
00:36:05,167 --> 00:36:08,667
This is a handmade cigar
from the Turtle Club.
579
00:36:08,751 --> 00:36:10,876
Eh, Jennifer,
580
00:36:10,959 --> 00:36:13,542
do you remember
that thing you once said
581
00:36:13,626 --> 00:36:18,417
about the guy you used to
date from the Turtle Club?
582
00:36:18,500 --> 00:36:20,125
Yeah?
583
00:36:20,209 --> 00:36:23,083
Yes. Well, my Disguisey
instincts are going crazy.
584
00:36:23,167 --> 00:36:25,626
Perhaps we should pay
a visit to this Turtle Club.
585
00:36:25,709 --> 00:36:29,042
Well, it's impossible to get in there
though. You have to be a member.
586
00:36:29,125 --> 00:36:32,417
[chuckles]
You make me laugh sometimes.
587
00:36:32,500 --> 00:36:36,584
We will see what is impossible,
my ever-doubtful assistant.
588
00:36:36,667 --> 00:36:40,000
Now, quickly, to the Nest!
589
00:36:46,292 --> 00:36:48,626
You know, I don't mean
to keep harping, but
590
00:36:48,709 --> 00:36:51,167
the name "The Turtle Club,"
it's just a name.
591
00:36:51,250 --> 00:36:54,667
- I think you're taking it a little bit too literally.
- Turtle.
592
00:36:54,751 --> 00:36:57,959
May I help you? Are you a
member of the Turtle Club?
593
00:36:58,042 --> 00:36:59,792
- Well, not exactly.
- Not exactly.
594
00:36:59,876 --> 00:37:04,083
But am I not turtly enough
for the Turtle Club?
595
00:37:04,167 --> 00:37:06,334
- Is he okay?
- He's fine.
596
00:37:06,417 --> 00:37:09,083
He's fine. Turtle.
597
00:37:09,167 --> 00:37:11,042
Turtle.
598
00:37:11,125 --> 00:37:15,000
- He's dreamt of this place ever since he was a child.
- Turtle.
599
00:37:15,083 --> 00:37:19,000
[Pistachio trilling] - Do you
think we can go in for a moment?
600
00:37:19,083 --> 00:37:23,417
- We'll be out in five minutes. Please?
- [sighs]
601
00:37:23,500 --> 00:37:24,500
All right.
602
00:37:24,584 --> 00:37:26,334
[chuckles]
603
00:37:28,918 --> 00:37:30,000
Turtle!
604
00:37:32,709 --> 00:37:35,959
- Turtle. Not turtle?
- It's okay. No.
605
00:37:36,042 --> 00:37:38,042
- Turtle? Not turtle.
- No.
606
00:37:40,083 --> 00:37:45,042
- Hi. Um, could you tell me, do you recognize this?
- Turtle!
607
00:37:45,125 --> 00:37:48,334
- Shh!
- I'd recognize that label anywhere.
608
00:37:48,417 --> 00:37:52,000
I made that cigar for the private
collection of Devlin Bowman.
609
00:37:53,459 --> 00:37:56,250
- Oh, Devlin Bowman.
- Turtle!
610
00:37:56,334 --> 00:37:59,125
Turtle. Turtle.
Turtle. Turtle. Turtle!
611
00:37:59,209 --> 00:38:01,542
- Eee!
- Um...
612
00:38:01,626 --> 00:38:04,125
- Is he okay?
- Oh, he's fine.
613
00:38:04,209 --> 00:38:06,876
- I'm fine. Turtle.
- Do you think you can give me
614
00:38:06,959 --> 00:38:09,834
an address or a phone
number for Mr. Bowman?
615
00:38:09,918 --> 00:38:14,334
[smacks lips] - Are you crazy?
I can't give you that information.
616
00:38:14,417 --> 00:38:16,125
- Oh, okay.
- No information.
617
00:38:16,209 --> 00:38:19,709
Hmm. What if harm
found its way to you?
618
00:38:19,792 --> 00:38:23,751
Terrible, terrible turtle harm.
Would that change your mind?
619
00:38:26,167 --> 00:38:31,042
- Perhaps it's time to go into my shell. Turtle.
- No. No shell. No.
620
00:38:31,125 --> 00:38:33,209
- Shell time coming.
- Um, you know what?
621
00:38:33,292 --> 00:38:35,417
A name is just fine.
Thank you very much.
622
00:38:35,500 --> 00:38:39,000
Terrible harm. The kind of
harm that makes you cry out
623
00:38:39,083 --> 00:38:42,083
in the night like
a little baby. [Trills]
624
00:38:42,167 --> 00:38:44,834
Hey, baby, can I, uh,
buy you a drink?
625
00:38:44,918 --> 00:38:48,083
And maybe some pond water
for your friend?
626
00:38:48,167 --> 00:38:51,000
[all laughing]
627
00:38:51,083 --> 00:38:52,876
- [laughs]
- Very funny.
628
00:38:55,083 --> 00:38:58,042
- [Pistachio] Turtle!
- Where'd he go?
629
00:38:59,792 --> 00:39:01,167
Huh? [Spits]
630
00:39:03,334 --> 00:39:05,125
[laughs]
631
00:39:05,209 --> 00:39:06,876
[trilling]
632
00:39:15,709 --> 00:39:17,876
I don't even really
know what to say
633
00:39:17,959 --> 00:39:20,667
- about what went on back there.
- I know.
634
00:39:20,751 --> 00:39:22,792
It was like a dream, but real.
635
00:39:22,876 --> 00:39:27,709
- I think I'm over my head.
- Tomorrow we will find out just who this Devlin Bowman is.
636
00:39:27,792 --> 00:39:31,959
- The turtle thing and...
- Then we will find the mama and the papa.
637
00:39:33,834 --> 00:39:35,918
Um.
638
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:39,626
Look, if I'm gonna work
tomorrow, I'm gonna need a lift,
639
00:39:39,709 --> 00:39:42,292
because my boyfriend has my car.
640
00:39:42,375 --> 00:39:46,584
A boyfriend. Yes, a
boyfriend. [Chuckling]
641
00:39:46,667 --> 00:39:49,959
It's getting late.
I'm gonna go in, okay?
642
00:39:50,042 --> 00:39:52,542
Okay. Good night, my love cake.
643
00:39:52,626 --> 00:39:54,626
- Love cake?
- What?
644
00:39:54,709 --> 00:39:57,417
- You said "love cake."
- But why would I call you "love cake"?
645
00:39:57,500 --> 00:40:00,083
- Your hind quarters are hideously scrawny.
- What?
646
00:40:00,167 --> 00:40:04,918
What I... what I was
trying to say is that, uh,
647
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,125
I have a present
for Barney, yes.
648
00:40:11,751 --> 00:40:14,250
Will you give these
to him? From his dad.
649
00:40:14,334 --> 00:40:17,584
- What?
- Dad, dad, dad...
650
00:40:17,667 --> 00:40:19,876
That Italian guy, me.
651
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:24,751
Oh, okay. This is very
sweet of you. Knee pads.
652
00:40:24,834 --> 00:40:28,167
- He could use these. Oh, thank you.
- Yes.
653
00:40:28,250 --> 00:40:31,542
- Yes, yes. Nighty night.
- Good night.
654
00:40:31,626 --> 00:40:34,626
- Sleepy time, she comes.
- [door opens, closes]
655
00:40:41,584 --> 00:40:43,375
[rings]
656
00:40:43,459 --> 00:40:46,542
Thanks for the Liberty Bell,
guys. I'll bring it right back.
657
00:40:46,626 --> 00:40:51,876
Oh, and, uh, remember,
that's an action figure, not a doll.
658
00:40:51,959 --> 00:40:53,792
[ringing]
659
00:40:53,876 --> 00:40:56,083
Sure thing, Governor Ventura.
Thanks a lot.
660
00:40:56,167 --> 00:40:59,626
Who would have thought
that Governor Jesse Ventura
661
00:40:59,709 --> 00:41:01,209
would be the perfect disguise
662
00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:04,167
to abscond
with the Liberty Bell?
663
00:41:05,125 --> 00:41:07,042
Me.
664
00:41:07,125 --> 00:41:10,417
My skills were meant
for the betterment of mankind,
665
00:41:10,500 --> 00:41:14,375
- not for greed and evil.
- Oh, please.
666
00:41:16,417 --> 00:41:19,751
[chuckles]
You should see your hair.
667
00:41:21,459 --> 00:41:25,250
You've got serious
mask-head. [Laughing]
668
00:41:29,876 --> 00:41:31,500
[farts]
669
00:41:39,209 --> 00:41:41,792
Hey, Pistachio. I want you
to meet my boyfriend, Trent.
670
00:41:41,876 --> 00:41:43,500
Hey, there he is.
671
00:41:43,584 --> 00:41:45,584
- Heard a lot about you, "Pisatche."
- [cracking]
672
00:41:45,667 --> 00:41:48,542
Ow... are you? [Chuckling]
673
00:41:48,626 --> 00:41:53,250
Oh, I forgot my purse.
I'll be right back.
674
00:41:53,334 --> 00:41:59,042
- Lay off my lady, you freak.
- My, you are a touchy-feely guy, Trent.
675
00:42:01,375 --> 00:42:05,042
Saved by the uncoordinated
little brat. Hey, Barn.
676
00:42:05,125 --> 00:42:07,667
Grind that curb, buddy. Yeah!
677
00:42:07,751 --> 00:42:09,250
[crash]
678
00:42:09,334 --> 00:42:10,435
- [cat screeches]
- [laughing]
679
00:42:10,459 --> 00:42:12,417
I'm okay. I'm okay.
680
00:42:12,500 --> 00:42:15,435
- [Trent] What a loser.
- Thanks for the pads, Pistachio. They really help.
681
00:42:15,459 --> 00:42:20,709
- You will learn with practice, brave Barney Baker.
- I'll keep trying.
682
00:42:20,792 --> 00:42:26,334
- What kind of crap are you putting in his head?
- What, uh... eh, niceness?
683
00:42:26,417 --> 00:42:29,459
"Niceness"?
What are you, his dad?
684
00:42:29,542 --> 00:42:32,459
You are trying to horn in
on my action, aren't you?
685
00:42:32,542 --> 00:42:37,083
[mocking] You are trying to horn
in on my action, aren't you?
686
00:42:37,167 --> 00:42:38,959
- What?
- What?
687
00:42:39,042 --> 00:42:43,542
- Are you mocking me?
- Are you mocking me?
688
00:42:43,626 --> 00:42:46,584
Oh, okay. Okay-kay.
689
00:42:46,667 --> 00:42:51,751
But I warn you, Trent, my slap practice
dummy gets quite a workout lately, okay?
690
00:42:51,834 --> 00:42:54,751
You want to fight?
See what awaits you, huh?
691
00:42:54,834 --> 00:42:57,834
First you watch the feet.
Oh, so fast. Look at them.
692
00:42:57,918 --> 00:43:00,918
Hands. Look at it. Oh, too fast.
693
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,834
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
694
00:43:03,918 --> 00:43:05,584
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
695
00:43:05,667 --> 00:43:08,626
Yes, yes, yes... hey!
696
00:43:13,334 --> 00:43:18,667
Hey, Barn. Don't worry. Just keep
practicing and you'll just be fine, okay?
697
00:43:18,751 --> 00:43:20,792
- [chuckles]
- I'm ready.
698
00:43:22,417 --> 00:43:24,292
[barking]
699
00:43:27,417 --> 00:43:30,167
How come I can't
do it and you can?
700
00:43:31,667 --> 00:43:35,417
- Baby, I'll see you after work, okay? Bye.
- Okay.
701
00:43:40,125 --> 00:43:42,709
Oh, he is so good with children.
702
00:43:42,792 --> 00:43:44,542
- Huh?
- Yes.
703
00:43:47,209 --> 00:43:51,209
I'm never gonna find anything
about this Devlin Bowman guy.
704
00:43:51,292 --> 00:43:55,500
- Oh, oh, oh! Listen.
- Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?
705
00:43:55,584 --> 00:43:57,626
A classmates.com thing.
706
00:43:57,709 --> 00:44:00,250
[reading]
707
00:44:05,792 --> 00:44:09,292
- What? This guy is crazy. Did you hear this?
- Who's your daddy?
708
00:44:09,375 --> 00:44:12,334
- Ouch, ouch.
- I can't believe he would try something like this.
709
00:44:12,417 --> 00:44:14,334
Freaky, freaky guy.
710
00:44:14,417 --> 00:44:19,000
Yes, yes. We now know
the who and the why.
711
00:44:19,083 --> 00:44:24,918
- But where do we find a man obsessed with such a rarity?
- Ha, ha, ha.
712
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:28,626
Well, there's this memorobilias
fair that I know about tomorrow
713
00:44:28,709 --> 00:44:30,667
with rare toys and stuff.
714
00:44:30,751 --> 00:44:32,584
Maybe Bowman will be there.
715
00:44:32,667 --> 00:44:36,459
- So you think that Bowman would go...
- Hee, hee, hee.
716
00:44:36,542 --> 00:44:40,417
To see these fair items?
717
00:44:40,500 --> 00:44:44,167
- [powers down]
- That's crazy. So crazy
718
00:44:45,334 --> 00:44:48,792
it just might work.
719
00:44:50,834 --> 00:44:53,667
[Grandfather] Pistachio and
Jennifer went to the antique show
720
00:44:53,751 --> 00:44:56,083
hoping to find
this Devlin Bowman.
721
00:44:56,167 --> 00:44:59,626
My grandson decided
to disguise himself as a lady.
722
00:44:59,709 --> 00:45:01,375
Appraise this!
723
00:45:01,459 --> 00:45:05,167
[Jennifer] What are you
doing? That's the Nest in a Box.
724
00:45:05,250 --> 00:45:07,459
It appears to be
of Tuscan design.
725
00:45:07,542 --> 00:45:12,250
- I would say early 12th century.
- I knew it was old, you fool.
726
00:45:12,334 --> 00:45:16,459
Let me appraise you. You're an
idiot, a complete and total idiot.
727
00:45:16,542 --> 00:45:20,292
- How does it feel?
- What is this, 12th-century Tuscan?
728
00:45:20,375 --> 00:45:22,250
- Nice.
- [Jennifer] I think that's him.
729
00:45:22,334 --> 00:45:26,751
- That's Bowman.
- Oh, well.
730
00:45:26,834 --> 00:45:29,209
You're a tall drink of water.
731
00:45:29,292 --> 00:45:33,083
- And I just love moisture.
- What?
732
00:45:33,167 --> 00:45:35,542
Allow me to introduce myself.
733
00:45:35,626 --> 00:45:39,250
My name is Gammy, Gammy Num Num.
734
00:45:39,334 --> 00:45:43,667
- Devlin Bowman.
- Don't be ashamed of your feelings.
735
00:45:43,751 --> 00:45:48,584
Your desires are perfectly
normal, I assure you.
736
00:45:48,667 --> 00:45:53,125
- What desires?
- Well, guess what, Backstreet Boy.
737
00:45:53,209 --> 00:45:55,500
This is one girl scout
that isn't content
738
00:45:55,584 --> 00:45:59,459
to be the Malcolm
in your middle.
739
00:45:59,542 --> 00:46:02,000
- Run along, Gammy, huh? Run along.
- Hmm. Touching me.
740
00:46:02,083 --> 00:46:04,209
- Gammy, run along.
- Pushing me. There's pressure.
741
00:46:04,292 --> 00:46:07,500
- Pressure moving me back, touching.
- All right, go. Go, go, go.
742
00:46:07,584 --> 00:46:10,584
- What's your name?
- Uh, I-I'm Barbra.
743
00:46:10,667 --> 00:46:14,334
Hmm, nice to meet you, Barbsie.
744
00:46:14,417 --> 00:46:17,209
We're never
going to make babies.
745
00:46:17,292 --> 00:46:21,918
I'm having some South American
art dealers to my house on Sunday.
746
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,375
We don't want to go anywhere
with you, Melon Head.
747
00:46:24,459 --> 00:46:28,292
- I'd love it if you joined us.
- And I'd love it if you'd shut up.
748
00:46:28,375 --> 00:46:31,459
No need to bring anything
749
00:46:31,542 --> 00:46:33,167
except that beautiful smile.
750
00:46:33,250 --> 00:46:37,167
- Ciao.
- "Ciao." Did you hear that? Italian.
751
00:46:37,250 --> 00:46:39,167
Look out for the Italian man.
752
00:46:39,250 --> 00:46:43,167
- Fetch. Come on, fetch.
- [whines]
753
00:46:45,876 --> 00:46:48,584
I'm just not comfortable
with the new plan.
754
00:46:48,667 --> 00:46:53,626
It's very easy. Listen, if you
will distract Bowman at the party,
755
00:46:53,709 --> 00:46:55,918
- I will disguise myself as a...
- No!
756
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,209
- I will disguise. I am Master of Disguise.
- No, no.
757
00:46:58,292 --> 00:47:00,459
- I-I'm sorry.
- What you sorry?
758
00:47:00,542 --> 00:47:04,375
In the job description, it didn't say
anything about dating weird, old guys.
759
00:47:04,459 --> 00:47:07,500
Dating weird old guy.
What, yeah, what, uh, yes.
760
00:47:09,876 --> 00:47:11,000
[whimpering]
761
00:47:11,083 --> 00:47:12,584
What? Look.
762
00:47:12,667 --> 00:47:17,542
Look what the Cuteness
found on page 52.
763
00:47:17,626 --> 00:47:21,083
"The scary monsters say..."
764
00:47:30,667 --> 00:47:33,792
Well, there you have it.
765
00:47:33,876 --> 00:47:36,459
[Latin music] -[Grandfather]
Their plan was simple.
766
00:47:36,542 --> 00:47:40,959
Jennifer would sneak into the mansion
and look for clues about Mama and Papa,
767
00:47:41,042 --> 00:47:44,167
while Pistachio
would distract Bowman.
768
00:47:44,250 --> 00:47:46,918
Gentlemen. Sorry
to keep you waiting.
769
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:49,375
My dear, I'm delighted you came.
770
00:47:49,459 --> 00:47:52,876
- Excuse me, but where is the ladies room?
- Aw.
771
00:47:52,959 --> 00:47:56,876
In the main house, down
the hall, first door on your left.
772
00:47:56,959 --> 00:47:59,918
- Would you like me to show you?
- Oh, no, no, no. No, it's okay.
773
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:03,834
Hurry back. Nice.
[chuckling] -Okay.
774
00:48:06,542 --> 00:48:08,250
Lovely woman.
775
00:48:08,334 --> 00:48:10,167
Will you gentlemen
excuse me, please?
776
00:48:10,250 --> 00:48:13,417
Yeah, we're gonna party
all night long. That's right.
777
00:48:13,500 --> 00:48:16,876
- Having fun. Yes.
- That's great. You have fun. I've gotta speak to someone.
778
00:48:16,959 --> 00:48:20,584
Say hello to my little friend.
779
00:48:20,667 --> 00:48:22,542
- What is that?
- Don't touch.
780
00:48:22,626 --> 00:48:25,542
See that, my friend? That is a
rare shrunken head right there
781
00:48:25,626 --> 00:48:30,459
of a tribal chieftain from the
village of Constopolocolus.
782
00:48:30,542 --> 00:48:33,209
[speaking gibberish]
783
00:48:41,334 --> 00:48:43,709
[trilling, barks]
784
00:48:46,083 --> 00:48:49,334
[man #1] I'm telling you, Scooby
Doo is computer generated.
785
00:48:49,417 --> 00:48:52,250
[man #2]
No way. He looked so real.
786
00:48:52,334 --> 00:48:56,542
I'm very interested in this, but I
have to check on something first.
787
00:48:56,626 --> 00:48:58,876
- Choking? Heimlich maneuver.
- Wait a minute!
788
00:48:58,959 --> 00:49:01,059
- Not gonna choke. Not gonna choke.
- I'm not... I'm not... I'm not...
789
00:49:01,083 --> 00:49:03,185
- Not gonna choke. Not gonna choke.
- I'm not... I'm not choking!
790
00:49:03,209 --> 00:49:05,167
Are you choking or not
choking? I gotta know.
791
00:49:05,250 --> 00:49:08,042
- I'm not choking.
- Not choking. My mistake. That's important.
792
00:49:08,125 --> 00:49:11,834
He was not choking and I was doing the
Heimlich maneuver. That could be dangerous.
793
00:49:11,918 --> 00:49:13,709
I'm sorry. That's my fault.
794
00:49:13,792 --> 00:49:18,667
When someone's not
choking, no maneuver!
795
00:49:18,751 --> 00:49:20,334
No maneuver!
796
00:49:22,584 --> 00:49:27,626
Robin, Ricky, Tim.
I'd better take these.
797
00:49:27,709 --> 00:49:32,042
- Chicken satay?
- And get a little stick stuck in my esophagus?
798
00:49:32,125 --> 00:49:36,167
- Not a chance. What else you got?
- Crab cakes.
799
00:49:36,250 --> 00:49:39,083
With your attitude, they
should be called "crabby cakes."
800
00:49:39,167 --> 00:49:41,500
Okay. Now I'm going to ask you.
801
00:49:41,584 --> 00:49:44,375
- Have you got a little wiener and some tiny nuts?
- Sorry?
802
00:49:44,459 --> 00:49:46,667
You know, I could tell
just by looking at you.
803
00:49:46,751 --> 00:49:51,417
You had a little wiener
and some tiny nuts.
804
00:49:51,500 --> 00:49:53,042
Oh, yeah.
805
00:49:55,375 --> 00:49:57,209
Oh, hi. Hi.
806
00:49:57,292 --> 00:50:00,083
- I-I was just looking for the bathroom.
- In the living room?
807
00:50:00,167 --> 00:50:05,918
- Oh, well, you had lovely furniture and I just thought...
- Shh, shh, shh, shh.
808
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:07,417
I'll show you.
809
00:50:07,500 --> 00:50:09,250
After you freshen up,
why don't you join me
810
00:50:09,334 --> 00:50:11,584
on the terrace for an aperitif?
811
00:50:11,667 --> 00:50:14,542
- It's lovely out there.
- Oh.
812
00:50:14,626 --> 00:50:17,500
Oh, yeah. Gotta dance.
813
00:50:20,584 --> 00:50:22,500
♪ Come on, shake your body
Baby, do the Conga ♪
814
00:50:22,584 --> 00:50:24,542
♪ I know you can't control
yourself any longer ♪
815
00:50:24,626 --> 00:50:26,751
♪ Feel the rhythm of the music
getting stronger ♪
816
00:50:26,834 --> 00:50:28,874
♪ Don't you fight it till
you try to do that Conga ♪
817
00:50:28,918 --> 00:50:30,876
♪ Come on, shake your body
baby, to that Conga ♪
818
00:50:30,959 --> 00:50:32,959
♪ I know you can't control
yourself any longer ♪
819
00:50:33,042 --> 00:50:35,125
♪ Feel the rhythm of the music
getting stronger ♪
820
00:50:35,209 --> 00:50:38,000
♪ Don't you fight it till you
try to do that Conga beat ♪
821
00:50:40,209 --> 00:50:41,918
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
822
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,250
Who is this guy?
823
00:50:47,876 --> 00:50:51,918
This idiot is ruining my
party. Bring him to me.
824
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,125
♪ I know you can't control
yourself any longer ♪
825
00:50:54,209 --> 00:50:56,417
♪ Feel the rhythm of the music
getting stronger ♪
826
00:50:56,500 --> 00:51:00,042
♪ Don't you fight it till you
try to do that Conga beat ♪
827
00:51:03,334 --> 00:51:06,000
Yeah, watch your back.
Here I go.
828
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,417
Hey, did you see
a dark-haired guy run by here?
829
00:51:13,542 --> 00:51:16,083
Dark-haired guy run by, chief?
830
00:51:16,167 --> 00:51:21,083
Dark-haired guy go in the
water. Shark in the water.
831
00:51:24,667 --> 00:51:30,667
[chuckles] ♪ Farewell and
adieu my wee Spanish ladies ♪
832
00:51:30,751 --> 00:51:34,334
- What are you talking about?
- [speaking gibberish]
833
00:51:34,417 --> 00:51:37,500
- What?
- [speaking gibberish]
834
00:51:37,584 --> 00:51:42,584
- What?
- I'm talking about a great white, chief.
835
00:51:42,667 --> 00:51:46,751
Two ton of him. Twenty,
maybe twenty-five footer.
836
00:51:48,334 --> 00:51:50,334
There's no shark here.
837
00:51:50,417 --> 00:51:52,959
You're sure about that, chief?
838
00:51:53,042 --> 00:51:55,959
Ever seen a shark's eyes, chief?
839
00:51:56,042 --> 00:52:00,792
Kind of like doll's eyes,
all black and lifeless-like.
840
00:52:01,876 --> 00:52:04,375
Twenty-nine kids
go in the water.
841
00:52:04,459 --> 00:52:07,626
Twenty-two kids
come out of the water.
842
00:52:07,709 --> 00:52:10,959
The ice-cream man,
he take the rest.
843
00:52:11,042 --> 00:52:14,959
April the ninth,
half past 4:00 p.m.
844
00:52:15,042 --> 00:52:17,626
Wait, show me your arm.
845
00:52:17,709 --> 00:52:22,167
You wanna see my arm, chief?
That's my arm right there, chiefy.
846
00:52:25,459 --> 00:52:28,918
Stop becoming another person.
Stop becoming another person.
847
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:31,268
- It is him.
- [Italian accent] Stop becoming another person.
848
00:52:31,292 --> 00:52:37,292
Stop becoming another person. I
run away from the big blue henchies.
849
00:52:42,125 --> 00:52:44,209
Oh, man. I just
stepped on a cow pie.
850
00:52:44,292 --> 00:52:48,542
Forget about it, all right? I told
you he wasn't here. Let's go back.
851
00:52:56,959 --> 00:52:58,751
Fresh air.
852
00:53:01,584 --> 00:53:04,375
- [cow moos]
- I told you. There he is.
853
00:53:04,459 --> 00:53:08,918
♪ He's the Master of Disguise ♪
854
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:10,542
♪ And you may never recognize ♪
855
00:53:10,626 --> 00:53:14,542
♪ He's the Master of Disguise ♪
856
00:53:14,626 --> 00:53:16,209
♪ And you may never recognize ♪
857
00:53:16,292 --> 00:53:18,709
♪ He's the Master of Disguise ♪
858
00:53:18,792 --> 00:53:21,876
♪ Yes, he is yes, he is ♪ - ♪
And you may never recognize ♪
859
00:53:21,959 --> 00:53:26,334
♪ He's the Master of Disguise ♪
860
00:53:30,334 --> 00:53:32,250
Oh, hello.
861
00:53:32,334 --> 00:53:36,125
My name's Constable Mueller,
from the Bavarian Tax Authority.
862
00:53:36,209 --> 00:53:39,459
[chuckles] Hello. [Giggling]
863
00:53:39,542 --> 00:53:42,709
And I'm here looking
for a Ms. Jennifer Baker.
864
00:53:42,792 --> 00:53:45,459
She owes a substantial
amount of back taxes
865
00:53:45,542 --> 00:53:46,959
from her time
as an exchange student
866
00:53:47,042 --> 00:53:49,542
at the University
of Heidelstrudel.
867
00:53:49,626 --> 00:53:52,417
[giggles] I just need to ask
her a couple of questions,
868
00:53:52,500 --> 00:53:53,918
little questions.
869
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,959
I'm not going to bite her.
870
00:53:56,042 --> 00:53:59,542
Could I just speak with her
for just one moment?
871
00:53:59,626 --> 00:54:02,000
I'm not going to bite.
872
00:54:02,083 --> 00:54:04,292
[giggling]
873
00:54:04,375 --> 00:54:07,626
- Hey, freak.
- Yes?
874
00:54:07,709 --> 00:54:09,584
- Don't move.
- Oh.
875
00:54:09,667 --> 00:54:11,751
- Wait right here.
- Yes, of course.
876
00:54:11,834 --> 00:54:16,000
Wait right here.
Doesn't sound too promising.
877
00:54:16,083 --> 00:54:18,500
Maybe it's time
to go to plan "B."
878
00:54:18,584 --> 00:54:22,000
- You need to relax. Yes, you do. Yes, you do.
- Oh, God, no.
879
00:54:22,083 --> 00:54:25,000
I just... I don't really
like being touched.
880
00:54:25,083 --> 00:54:28,292
- Oh. Oh, you dropped your purse.
- Yeah, I... Thank you.
881
00:54:28,375 --> 00:54:31,626
I-I got it. I got it. Okay.
882
00:54:31,709 --> 00:54:34,918
- Let's see what's in here, shall we?
- Well, that's just...
883
00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:36,918
There's nothing inside.
884
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,018
I had a little cold, so there's
some kind of medicine for that.
885
00:54:39,042 --> 00:54:40,834
So it's just...
It's really gross in there.
886
00:54:40,918 --> 00:54:42,959
- Why don't you come with me, my dear?
- All right.
887
00:54:43,042 --> 00:54:45,083
This way. Yes.
888
00:54:46,459 --> 00:54:49,292
Where did you come from?
Where's the other guy?
889
00:54:49,375 --> 00:54:53,667
Suave, Terry Suave's the name.
London, Scotland Yard, that sort of thing.
890
00:54:53,751 --> 00:54:56,334
- What do you want?
- It's not what I want that matters.
891
00:54:56,417 --> 00:54:58,167
It's what the British
government wants.
892
00:54:58,250 --> 00:55:02,167
And that's a Miss Jennifer
Baker, at her service.
893
00:55:02,250 --> 00:55:03,751
Mmm.
894
00:55:03,834 --> 00:55:07,042
In regards
to Operation Minty Hippo.
895
00:55:07,125 --> 00:55:09,209
Minty hippo? What is that?
896
00:55:09,292 --> 00:55:11,976
I could tell you, but it'd be a real
ding-dong, dingy-dingy-ding-wad.
897
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:14,375
Hut one, hut two.
I need a Charleston Chew.
898
00:55:14,459 --> 00:55:18,209
- Get it? Got it? Doubt it.
- I think it's time for you to go.
899
00:55:18,292 --> 00:55:21,292
And I think it's time for you to
put a squeeze on your chat box.
900
00:55:21,375 --> 00:55:23,792
- What?
- This is what you're doing.
901
00:55:23,876 --> 00:55:27,083
This is what I want you to do.
Any questions?
902
00:55:27,167 --> 00:55:28,584
Did you just tell me to shut up?
903
00:55:28,667 --> 00:55:31,000
Yes. You catch on straightaway.
904
00:55:31,083 --> 00:55:35,500
Ah, the muscle. Yes, of
course. Familiar scenario.
905
00:55:35,584 --> 00:55:37,834
You want to get
physical, physical?
906
00:55:37,918 --> 00:55:40,852
Well, a sharp blow to the "Dewey
Gumbel" would get the festivities started.
907
00:55:40,876 --> 00:55:42,834
And finally,
a smack to the "didgy-dodge."
908
00:55:42,918 --> 00:55:45,918
- Did someone yell, "timber"?
- Oh, listen.
909
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:51,167
It is okay.
I-I did receive a letter.
910
00:55:51,250 --> 00:55:53,417
[Pistachio]
She received a letter.
911
00:55:53,500 --> 00:55:56,125
Get it? Got it? Doubt it.
912
00:55:57,042 --> 00:55:59,042
Good day to you, sir.
913
00:56:03,083 --> 00:56:04,667
Follow them.
914
00:56:12,584 --> 00:56:14,709
I believe that Devlin Bowman
915
00:56:14,792 --> 00:56:19,042
has forced my papa to become
a Master of Disguise once more
916
00:56:19,125 --> 00:56:24,459
in order to steal rare
treasures from around the world.
917
00:56:24,542 --> 00:56:27,584
Yes. My Disguisey
instincts tell me
918
00:56:27,667 --> 00:56:32,459
- that they are in the mansion somewhere.
- [gasps]
919
00:56:32,542 --> 00:56:34,000
My tight blue sweater!
920
00:56:34,083 --> 00:56:36,167
- Sorry, Trent.
- Trent?
921
00:56:36,250 --> 00:56:39,125
- Who-who is this?
- Hey, baby, we were just ha
922
00:56:39,209 --> 00:56:42,751
Sophia, you here now with
Trent? What are the odds?
923
00:56:42,834 --> 00:56:45,417
Shut up, clown.
924
00:56:45,500 --> 00:56:49,042
- Leave him alone, you bully.
- Don't worry, Jennifer.
925
00:56:49,125 --> 00:56:52,250
The slapping time, she comes.
926
00:56:52,334 --> 00:56:54,918
- Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this.
- [Grandfather's] Pistachio,
927
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:58,417
it is demoralizing to your
opponent to repeat the phrase,
928
00:56:58,500 --> 00:57:00,209
"Who's your daddy?"
929
00:57:00,292 --> 00:57:04,250
Yes. Who's your daddy, Trent?
930
00:57:06,667 --> 00:57:09,250
Who's your daddy?
931
00:57:11,751 --> 00:57:14,667
- [growls]
- Having fun now, Trent?
932
00:57:16,083 --> 00:57:17,959
- How do you do?
- [cracking]
933
00:57:30,083 --> 00:57:33,125
- [clattering]
- Yes.
934
00:57:33,209 --> 00:57:35,083
[laughing]
935
00:57:35,167 --> 00:57:38,751
Oh, Pistachio.
936
00:57:38,834 --> 00:57:43,083
Thank you for saving me
from that horrible person.
937
00:57:43,167 --> 00:57:45,417
Let's go, Jennifer.
938
00:57:48,959 --> 00:57:52,000
Hey, my little
waiter friend, Pista...
939
00:57:52,083 --> 00:57:53,876
[clattering]
940
00:58:00,459 --> 00:58:03,584
Thanks for letting me borrow the
Apollo lunar module for my tour, you guys.
941
00:58:03,667 --> 00:58:05,209
No problem, Miss Simpson.
942
00:58:05,292 --> 00:58:08,250
- Thanks for the CDs.
- I hope you like them.
943
00:58:09,667 --> 00:58:15,667
[woman on stereo] ♪ He's
irresistible up close and personal ♪
944
00:58:15,751 --> 00:58:17,959
♪ Inescapable ♪
945
00:58:18,042 --> 00:58:22,417
Jessica Simpson, whoa.
946
00:58:22,500 --> 00:58:25,667
You seem tired, Fabbrizio.
947
00:58:25,751 --> 00:58:29,209
Don't worry. It's almost over.
948
00:58:29,292 --> 00:58:31,083
You're insane.
949
00:58:33,667 --> 00:58:38,250
- Truly insane.
- Am I? [Laughing]
950
00:58:43,334 --> 00:58:44,667
Oh.
951
00:58:44,751 --> 00:58:46,209
[farts]
952
00:58:51,918 --> 00:58:54,417
He's okay.
He's asleep with the Cuteness.
953
00:58:54,500 --> 00:58:56,959
I wanna get something
off my chest.
954
00:58:57,042 --> 00:59:01,000
Today when-when
I-I saw you dressed up
955
00:59:01,083 --> 00:59:02,959
like that crazy, hairy guy,
956
00:59:03,042 --> 00:59:08,083
at that moment, I really thought
you were this-this pathetic,
957
00:59:08,167 --> 00:59:11,125
insane, absurd,
958
00:59:11,209 --> 00:59:13,125
spastic little man.
959
00:59:14,292 --> 00:59:17,584
And now I believe
960
00:59:17,667 --> 00:59:19,834
that you can do anything.
961
00:59:19,918 --> 00:59:21,959
That's very nice,
but not exactly true.
962
00:59:22,042 --> 00:59:25,292
I can't turn mud
into oatmeal, for example.
963
00:59:25,375 --> 00:59:28,792
I can't build a spaceship
that will travel to Pluto.
964
00:59:28,876 --> 00:59:31,667
No, but you can find a way
965
00:59:31,751 --> 00:59:34,959
to rescue your mama
and your papa.
966
00:59:35,042 --> 00:59:38,751
Yes. Yes, I believe now too.
967
00:59:38,834 --> 00:59:41,500
Your pep talk has transformed
me, my tiny butter bottom
968
00:59:41,584 --> 00:59:45,626
- I mean, Jennifer.
- You said "tiny butter bottom."
969
00:59:45,709 --> 00:59:47,667
Did I, the future
mother of my babies
970
00:59:47,751 --> 00:59:53,209
- I mean, Jennifer.
- You said "future mother of my babies."
971
00:59:53,292 --> 00:59:56,334
Did I, fat cat mama
with a red dress on?
972
00:59:56,417 --> 00:59:58,667
- I-I mean...
- You said "fat cat"
973
00:59:58,751 --> 01:00:03,626
I know. I don't know why I
said that. It just was the emotion.
974
01:00:03,709 --> 01:00:06,542
You just... ah.
975
01:00:06,626 --> 01:00:09,959
My first kiss.
976
01:00:10,042 --> 01:00:11,876
I must apologize.
I was a little forward,
977
01:00:11,959 --> 01:00:17,792
but, uh, perhaps
you enjoyed a little bit.
978
01:00:17,876 --> 01:00:19,959
You know what time it is?
979
01:00:20,042 --> 01:00:22,125
[chuckles]
980
01:00:22,209 --> 01:00:27,042
[stammering] No, I don't know.
I don't know what time it is.
981
01:00:28,876 --> 01:00:30,584
Time to make a plan.
982
01:00:30,667 --> 01:00:32,709
Ah, yes. Yes, yes.
983
01:00:32,792 --> 01:00:37,375
Yes. Back to business. The
planning time, she comes.
984
01:00:37,459 --> 01:00:41,209
Okay. Oh, oh. You
don't... Oh, all right.
985
01:00:41,292 --> 01:00:46,626
Is okay. Is okay.
Nice. Yes. Fresh too.
986
01:00:46,709 --> 01:00:48,000
- Good night.
- Good night.
987
01:00:48,083 --> 01:00:49,334
Night now.
988
01:01:01,751 --> 01:01:03,959
[Grandfather]
The Cuteness was on guard.
989
01:01:04,042 --> 01:01:07,125
But of course he would be no
match against Bowman's henchmen,
990
01:01:07,209 --> 01:01:09,125
who had orders
to kidnap Jennifer.
991
01:01:09,209 --> 01:01:11,083
Time was running out
for Fabbrizio
992
01:01:11,167 --> 01:01:15,042
as Bowman put the final
touches on his evil scheme.
993
01:01:15,125 --> 01:01:17,542
[chuckling]
994
01:01:17,626 --> 01:01:20,542
[Pistachio] Grandfather,
please, I need your help.
995
01:01:20,626 --> 01:01:22,918
I am out of ideas.
996
01:01:30,751 --> 01:01:34,083
Grandfather,
you are big floating head.
997
01:01:34,167 --> 01:01:37,334
I'm a prerecorded hologram.
What is your question?
998
01:01:37,417 --> 01:01:41,334
I feared I have not mustered enough
energico to overcome our enemies.
999
01:01:41,417 --> 01:01:44,042
[Barney] Pistachio, I was
hoping you'd be here.
1000
01:01:44,125 --> 01:01:45,500
What are you doing here?
1001
01:01:45,584 --> 01:01:48,250
My mom's missing.
But I found this.
1002
01:01:48,334 --> 01:01:49,792
Bowman's cigar.
1003
01:01:49,876 --> 01:01:51,292
Is my mom okay?
1004
01:01:51,375 --> 01:01:54,042
She's probably just
out buying cigars right now.
1005
01:01:54,125 --> 01:01:55,751
We have work to do here.
1006
01:01:55,834 --> 01:01:57,375
Yes, brave Barney Baker.
1007
01:01:57,459 --> 01:01:59,379
I need a disguise to get
into the Bowman mansion.
1008
01:01:59,417 --> 01:02:02,042
- How about if you dress...
- Silence!
1009
01:02:02,125 --> 01:02:04,876
Grandpa, why don't
we give him a chance?
1010
01:02:04,959 --> 01:02:07,626
Sometimes out
of the mouth of babies...
1011
01:02:07,709 --> 01:02:09,959
All right, but quietly.
1012
01:02:10,042 --> 01:02:12,959
You never know
who might be listening.
1013
01:02:13,042 --> 01:02:16,250
That's crazy, so crazy...
1014
01:02:16,334 --> 01:02:20,083
It just might work.
1015
01:02:20,167 --> 01:02:21,751
[barking]
1016
01:02:21,834 --> 01:02:25,375
Feast your eyes on some of
the world's greatest treasures.
1017
01:02:25,459 --> 01:02:28,584
Like the Liberty Bell.
There's Mona Lisa.
1018
01:02:28,667 --> 01:02:32,083
Ah, the ruby slippers.
A Betsy Ross original.
1019
01:02:32,167 --> 01:02:36,709
How about that David? Oh, we got
Bruce Willis' hairpiece from Die Hard II.
1020
01:02:36,792 --> 01:02:42,250
- Oh, wow!
- One of my prized possessions, the Apollo 11 lunar module.
1021
01:02:42,334 --> 01:02:44,667
Yep, one small step for man.
1022
01:02:44,751 --> 01:02:49,250
We at Black Mark eBay have a policy
of not asking how items are obtained,
1023
01:02:49,334 --> 01:02:52,751
but in your case, I am curious.
1024
01:02:52,834 --> 01:02:56,792
Italy's own Fabbrizio Disguisey.
1025
01:02:56,876 --> 01:02:59,000
Okay, okay. So it is
the Master of Disguise.
1026
01:02:59,083 --> 01:03:00,250
Wanna see him?
1027
01:03:02,876 --> 01:03:03,959
[watch beeps]
1028
01:03:07,542 --> 01:03:09,417
Okay, so you're
gonna auction him off?
1029
01:03:09,500 --> 01:03:11,500
[scoffs] Too easy.
1030
01:03:15,626 --> 01:03:17,584
- It's you.
- Right.
1031
01:03:17,667 --> 01:03:20,959
I'm going to Krazy Glue this
to Fabbrizio's head.
1032
01:03:21,042 --> 01:03:24,584
Then tomorrow, I'm going
to push him over a cliff.
1033
01:03:24,667 --> 01:03:26,417
Everyone will think I'm dead.
1034
01:03:26,500 --> 01:03:30,042
It's called the perfect crime.
Ever heard of it?
1035
01:03:30,125 --> 01:03:32,876
Let me show you
the rest of the items.
1036
01:03:32,959 --> 01:03:35,709
Mr. Bowman, no cherry pie?
1037
01:03:36,751 --> 01:03:38,751
Later, Palmer. Come on.
1038
01:03:40,292 --> 01:03:45,125
I don't even know where this
cherry pie came from. Go figure.
1039
01:03:57,042 --> 01:03:58,500
[barking]
1040
01:04:01,751 --> 01:04:06,125
Oh, these cherries
are so ticklish
1041
01:04:06,209 --> 01:04:07,584
and slippery.
1042
01:04:07,667 --> 01:04:09,667
[chuckling]
1043
01:04:13,626 --> 01:04:15,584
Cuteness, this is dangerous.
Go home.
1044
01:04:15,667 --> 01:04:16,709
[barking]
1045
01:04:29,751 --> 01:04:31,792
- It's Cherry Pie Man. Get him!
- Hey!
1046
01:04:46,125 --> 01:04:49,876
[Grandfather] Jennifer was forced to
become the Black Mark eBay spokesmodel,
1047
01:04:49,959 --> 01:04:53,751
as our nation's treasures
were being auctioned off.
1048
01:04:53,834 --> 01:04:55,834
Famous "We the people"...
1049
01:04:55,918 --> 01:04:58,042
Yo, Doug. Check this out.
1050
01:04:58,125 --> 01:05:00,375
[speaking German]
1051
01:05:00,459 --> 01:05:02,417
[speaking foreign language]
1052
01:05:02,500 --> 01:05:07,959
Did it ever occur to you, that this
cherry pie thing was Fabbrizio's son?
1053
01:05:08,042 --> 01:05:11,292
[inhales] No matter.
1054
01:05:11,375 --> 01:05:14,459
Oh, by the way, Steve,
your wife called.
1055
01:05:14,542 --> 01:05:16,417
Oh, that's great.
Thank you, sir.
1056
01:05:16,500 --> 01:05:18,417
Sure.
1057
01:05:18,500 --> 01:05:21,500
You're not married!
1058
01:05:24,375 --> 01:05:25,709
Pistachio?
1059
01:05:27,250 --> 01:05:28,709
Now we got you.
1060
01:05:29,751 --> 01:05:31,876
How did you know it was me?
1061
01:05:35,709 --> 01:05:37,375
[chuckling]
1062
01:05:46,792 --> 01:05:48,542
Who's your daddy?
1063
01:05:51,709 --> 01:05:55,042
♪ In secret among us
there's a special man ♪
1064
01:05:55,125 --> 01:05:57,667
♪ He's trying to find his role
up in the bigger plan ♪
1065
01:05:57,751 --> 01:06:02,417
♪ With a simple sleight of
hand and a nameless face ♪
1066
01:06:02,500 --> 01:06:05,959
♪ He can make the world
into a better place ♪
1067
01:06:06,042 --> 01:06:07,476
- ♪ Who's it gonna be ♪
- [screeching]
1068
01:06:07,500 --> 01:06:08,876
♪ Who can become another ♪
1069
01:06:08,959 --> 01:06:10,667
♪ Who's it gonna be ♪
1070
01:06:10,751 --> 01:06:12,876
♪ Could be your sister
or your mother ♪
1071
01:06:12,959 --> 01:06:15,542
♪ Who's it gonna be a
word to the wise ♪ - [all] Mmm.
1072
01:06:15,626 --> 01:06:19,500
♪ Better not mess
with the Master of Disguise ♪
1073
01:06:19,584 --> 01:06:23,584
Now this little dude is slapping
these ninja guys senseless.
1074
01:06:23,667 --> 01:06:26,375
♪ He's a Master of Disguise ♪
1075
01:06:27,584 --> 01:06:29,626
Yes. Jennifer, I set you free.
1076
01:06:29,709 --> 01:06:31,667
That's my belt!
1077
01:06:31,751 --> 01:06:33,959
- Wait, wait, ninjas.
- Run away. Run away.
1078
01:06:34,042 --> 01:06:37,584
♪ Oh, oh, he's a Master
of Disguise ♪
1079
01:06:37,667 --> 01:06:39,500
Anyone who stays gets a raise.
1080
01:06:39,584 --> 01:06:41,292
[laughing]
1081
01:06:41,375 --> 01:06:43,876
[man] No way. He slap us silly.
1082
01:06:43,959 --> 01:06:46,709
- You may wanna see this.
- [beeps]
1083
01:06:46,792 --> 01:06:50,083
♪ Smorgasbord
We'll have a pizza ♪
1084
01:06:53,500 --> 01:06:54,834
Mama, look out!
1085
01:07:01,918 --> 01:07:04,876
No more caramel corn for me.
1086
01:07:05,834 --> 01:07:07,959
[all] Ah.
1087
01:07:08,042 --> 01:07:11,083
- Pistachio.
- Grandpapa.
1088
01:07:11,167 --> 01:07:15,250
I wanted to be here to witness
your first Disguisey victory.
1089
01:07:15,334 --> 01:07:18,250
[Bowman] Hey, Disguiseys,
it's not over yet.
1090
01:07:18,334 --> 01:07:21,292
First, you will see
who is your daddy.
1091
01:07:23,542 --> 01:07:25,918
I was going
to throw him off a cliff.
1092
01:07:26,042 --> 01:07:28,918
Instead, I think
I'll have him kill you.
1093
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:31,459
[laughing, farts]
1094
01:07:31,542 --> 01:07:35,834
[laughing, farts]
1095
01:07:41,125 --> 01:07:43,459
- Papa, Papa.
- I'm not your papa.
1096
01:07:43,542 --> 01:07:47,083
In his weakened state, he must have been
pulled over to the dark side of energico.
1097
01:07:47,167 --> 01:07:50,417
There's a dark side,
exactly like Star Wars?
1098
01:07:50,500 --> 01:07:52,584
I am Devlin Bowman.
1099
01:07:52,667 --> 01:07:55,792
No, Papa,
you-you are not Bowman.
1100
01:07:55,876 --> 01:07:59,959
Take off your mask and
let's all go grab a bite to eat
1101
01:08:00,042 --> 01:08:01,751
at the Olive Garden.
1102
01:08:01,834 --> 01:08:04,959
I am Devlin Bowman.
1103
01:08:06,083 --> 01:08:09,500
I have a secret,
underground lair
1104
01:08:09,584 --> 01:08:12,667
filled with rare objects.
1105
01:08:12,751 --> 01:08:15,500
Because of you Disguiseys,
1106
01:08:15,584 --> 01:08:20,000
I spent 20 years in the
Palermo State Penitentiary.
1107
01:08:20,083 --> 01:08:22,083
I hate you. [Yells]
1108
01:08:22,167 --> 01:08:23,334
Papa.
1109
01:08:23,417 --> 01:08:25,334
- Pistachio!
- No, no, no.
1110
01:08:25,417 --> 01:08:27,334
This is between father and son.
1111
01:08:27,417 --> 01:08:29,375
I am not your papa.
1112
01:08:29,459 --> 01:08:30,626
Pistachio, be careful!
1113
01:08:30,709 --> 01:08:32,209
You are. You are my papa.
1114
01:08:32,292 --> 01:08:34,876
- No. I am not.
- I swear, you are.
1115
01:08:38,834 --> 01:08:40,500
[yells]
1116
01:08:44,500 --> 01:08:46,626
- Good-bye, peanut.
- No, Papa Bowman, no.
1117
01:08:46,709 --> 01:08:48,334
[crunching]
1118
01:08:50,751 --> 01:08:52,375
Use the energico, Pistachio.
1119
01:08:52,459 --> 01:08:54,042
Yes.
1120
01:08:54,125 --> 01:08:56,042
But Papa Bowman, please.
Don't you remember?
1121
01:08:56,125 --> 01:08:59,584
I would put the underwear on
my head and you would take it off.
1122
01:08:59,667 --> 01:09:03,000
Oh, those were the days. Right?
1123
01:09:03,083 --> 01:09:05,709
What are you talking about?
1124
01:09:05,792 --> 01:09:10,167
Underwear coming.
Stuck in butt crack.
1125
01:09:12,834 --> 01:09:16,083
- Yes. Yes.
- His underwear on his head.
1126
01:09:16,167 --> 01:09:18,334
Just like when
he was a little boy.
1127
01:09:18,417 --> 01:09:20,334
Take those underwear
off your head.
1128
01:09:20,417 --> 01:09:24,083
Take that mask off your face.
1129
01:09:28,792 --> 01:09:29,918
Papa.
1130
01:09:32,667 --> 01:09:36,042
Mustache, papa. Yes. Good.
1131
01:09:36,125 --> 01:09:38,792
Oh, the nose. Yes.
1132
01:09:39,959 --> 01:09:41,751
Take the eye. Another.
1133
01:09:41,834 --> 01:09:45,209
Oh, yes. Papa! Papa, yes.
1134
01:09:50,334 --> 01:09:51,834
My son.
1135
01:09:51,918 --> 01:09:54,375
It's Fabbrizio.
1136
01:09:56,167 --> 01:09:57,250
Pull him up.
1137
01:09:59,042 --> 01:10:00,292
Papa.
1138
01:10:00,375 --> 01:10:02,000
[chuckling]
The Disguisey tradition.
1139
01:10:02,083 --> 01:10:03,542
Papa free.
1140
01:10:03,626 --> 01:10:05,459
[Grandfather] So we freed Mama,
1141
01:10:05,542 --> 01:10:08,709
Jennifer became Mrs. Disguisey
and Barney got a papa.
1142
01:10:08,792 --> 01:10:15,709
Finally, Pistachio became
a Master of Disguise.
1143
01:10:15,792 --> 01:10:17,792
But there was
one thing left to do.
1144
01:10:17,876 --> 01:10:20,959
We had to get the constitution
back from Bowman.
1145
01:10:21,042 --> 01:10:22,626
Hola, senor.
1146
01:10:22,709 --> 01:10:23,792
Mmm.
1147
01:10:23,876 --> 01:10:25,584
Hola, muchachita.
1148
01:10:25,667 --> 01:10:27,209
Can I get you anything?
1149
01:10:27,292 --> 01:10:29,918
Well, what do you get
a man who has everything?
1150
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:33,375
I can't believe it.
It's President Bush.
1151
01:10:36,876 --> 01:10:38,000
Mr. President?
1152
01:10:38,083 --> 01:10:40,417
Folks around here call me "W."
1153
01:10:40,500 --> 01:10:44,250
But you can call me
King George. [Laughing]
1154
01:10:47,834 --> 01:10:49,626
That was a joke, son.
1155
01:10:49,709 --> 01:10:51,667
Would you mind if we
had a picture together?
1156
01:10:51,751 --> 01:10:53,643
- Now, take your time. Now I'm ready.
- Yes, sir.
1157
01:10:53,667 --> 01:10:56,459
Just say, it's an honor.
Who's your daddy?
1158
01:10:56,542 --> 01:10:58,834
- Sir?
- This is what you're doing.
1159
01:10:58,918 --> 01:11:01,459
This is what I want you to do.
Any questions?
1160
01:11:01,542 --> 01:11:03,125
It's you!
1161
01:11:03,209 --> 01:11:08,500
Yes. Yes. It is me,
the Master of Disguise.
1162
01:11:09,709 --> 01:11:12,167
- Get him.
- You're surrounded by Disguiseys.
1163
01:11:12,250 --> 01:11:14,500
I think I stepped in a cow pie.
1164
01:11:14,584 --> 01:11:15,709
Forget about it.
1165
01:11:15,792 --> 01:11:17,083
Bring on the heat.
1166
01:11:18,250 --> 01:11:21,334
Came to get
the constitution back.
1167
01:11:21,417 --> 01:11:24,834
Oh, yeah. And this
one's for you, chiefy.
1168
01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:27,751
[chuckling]
1169
01:11:31,959 --> 01:11:33,584
[Grandfather] Is he dead?
1170
01:11:33,667 --> 01:11:35,667
[farts]
1171
01:11:37,918 --> 01:11:41,209
[Pistachio]
Bowman, he make the stinky.
1172
01:11:41,292 --> 01:11:43,459
- Who's...
- Your...
1173
01:11:43,542 --> 01:11:46,083
Daddy?
1174
01:11:46,167 --> 01:11:49,083
♪ He's the M-A-S-T-E-R
of Disguise ♪
1175
01:11:49,167 --> 01:11:50,876
♪ Watch him change
in front of your eyes ♪
1176
01:11:50,959 --> 01:11:54,709
♪ He's a master
Master of Disguise ♪
1177
01:11:54,792 --> 01:11:57,417
♪ He's the M-A-S-T-E-R
of Disguise ♪
1178
01:11:57,500 --> 01:11:59,167
♪ Watch him change
in front of your eyes ♪
1179
01:11:59,250 --> 01:12:02,959
♪ He's a master
Master of Disguise ♪
1180
01:12:03,042 --> 01:12:06,709
♪ Now who's there, who's back it's the Master
of Disguise or like this or like that ♪
1181
01:12:06,792 --> 01:12:09,584
♪ Let me tell you a little story
about the guy behind the mask ♪
1182
01:12:09,667 --> 01:12:11,560
♪ He used to get clubbed
so he had to change paths ♪
1183
01:12:11,584 --> 01:12:13,667
♪ Learned time owin'
to a couple of jabs ♪
1184
01:12:13,751 --> 01:12:15,810
♪ But you know that can change
in the blink of an eye ♪
1185
01:12:15,834 --> 01:12:17,834
♪ Turned from a turtle
to a nerdy guy ♪
1186
01:12:17,918 --> 01:12:21,500
♪ Now tell me once
you gonna ask us why ♪
1187
01:12:21,584 --> 01:12:25,542
Say hello.
And to my little friend, eh?
1188
01:12:25,626 --> 01:12:27,042
Oh, yeah.
1189
01:12:30,417 --> 01:12:34,334
[Grandfather] By the authority
vested in me by the Disguisey tradition,
1190
01:12:34,417 --> 01:12:36,250
page 73 of the pop-up book,
1191
01:12:36,334 --> 01:12:40,751
I hereby pronounce you
wife, son and.
1192
01:12:40,834 --> 01:12:44,375
- Master of Disguise.
- [applause]
1193
01:12:44,459 --> 01:12:46,500
Bravo, my son. Bravo.
1194
01:12:46,584 --> 01:12:48,876
♪ I woke up this morning
the sunshine was shining ♪
1195
01:12:48,959 --> 01:12:52,125
♪ I put on my happy face ♪
1196
01:12:52,209 --> 01:12:54,292
Once, I shot an elephant
in my pajamas.
1197
01:12:54,375 --> 01:12:56,709
How he got in my pajamas,
I'll never know.
1198
01:12:56,792 --> 01:12:59,751
I'd like to spin you on your
spinely-spobbly-spibbly-spibbly.
1199
01:12:59,834 --> 01:13:02,542
Oh, baby gonna cry?
His mommy called?
1200
01:13:08,626 --> 01:13:11,042
[man chuckling] And, cut.
1201
01:13:12,334 --> 01:13:15,125
Oh, run, Jennifer, run!
1202
01:13:15,209 --> 01:13:16,792
Pistachio, oh!
1203
01:13:16,876 --> 01:13:18,500
[man] And, action.
1204
01:13:18,584 --> 01:13:21,792
♪ I put on my happy face ♪
1205
01:13:21,876 --> 01:13:25,876
♪ I'm living, I'm able
I'm breathing, I'm grateful ♪
1206
01:13:25,959 --> 01:13:29,125
♪ To put on my happy face ♪
1207
01:13:29,209 --> 01:13:32,125
♪ I woke up this morning
the sunshine was shining ♪
1208
01:13:32,209 --> 01:13:36,417
I like the juice.
You like the juice?
1209
01:13:36,500 --> 01:13:39,792
Sometimes that Master
Of Disguise go away.
1210
01:13:39,876 --> 01:13:42,292
Sometimes he don't go away.
1211
01:13:42,375 --> 01:13:47,000
Now, uh, the Master of Disguise,
1212
01:13:47,083 --> 01:13:50,042
can he change into, say,
1213
01:13:50,125 --> 01:13:53,334
uh, Barbra Streisand?
1214
01:13:53,417 --> 01:13:54,500
Of course.
1215
01:13:54,584 --> 01:13:56,417
Britney Spears?
1216
01:13:56,500 --> 01:13:58,500
You're a sick man.
1217
01:13:59,667 --> 01:14:01,250
The Olsen twins?
1218
01:14:02,834 --> 01:14:04,459
[roaring]
1219
01:14:04,542 --> 01:14:08,209
♪ Been around the world
Lived a million lives ♪
1220
01:14:08,292 --> 01:14:10,334
♪ He can never be found ♪
1221
01:14:10,417 --> 01:14:13,792
♪ 'Cause he's the Master
of Disguise ♪ - [screaming]
1222
01:14:13,876 --> 01:14:17,125
Make a nice, cool
river mustache there
1223
01:14:17,209 --> 01:14:19,626
on the big, bald,
mean guy's face.
1224
01:14:19,709 --> 01:14:22,834
Ooh. That's refreshing.
1225
01:14:22,918 --> 01:14:27,125
Hold. Hold. Hold.
1226
01:14:27,209 --> 01:14:29,459
Unleash hell.
1227
01:14:29,542 --> 01:14:31,792
♪ Ha, ha, yeah ♪
1228
01:14:31,876 --> 01:14:33,876
♪ Y'all ready to do this one ♪
1229
01:14:33,959 --> 01:14:37,250
♪ All right then Let's go ♪
1230
01:14:37,334 --> 01:14:39,167
♪ Whoo ♪
1231
01:14:42,125 --> 01:14:43,959
♪ Come on ♪
1232
01:14:44,042 --> 01:14:45,667
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
1233
01:14:45,751 --> 01:14:48,500
♪ Don't stop doing
that thing you do ♪
1234
01:14:48,584 --> 01:14:52,542
♪ Oh, your sweet love
is making me high ♪
1235
01:14:52,626 --> 01:14:54,500
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
1236
01:14:54,584 --> 01:14:57,626
♪ Don't stop giving me
all your love ♪
1237
01:14:57,709 --> 01:15:01,292
I never knew
if I'd see Jenny again.
1238
01:15:01,375 --> 01:15:03,584
Yes, I've seen your type before.
1239
01:15:03,667 --> 01:15:08,250
- What are you doing?
- Yes, I'm Gammy Num Nums and take a gammy of my nummynum.
1240
01:15:08,334 --> 01:15:12,500
We don't wanna go anywhere
with you, melon head.
1241
01:15:12,584 --> 01:15:14,292
[laughing]
1242
01:15:19,751 --> 01:15:22,584
What? You filthy thief.
1243
01:15:22,667 --> 01:15:26,375
Take that, and that and that.
1244
01:15:31,834 --> 01:15:34,876
Buttercup says
you are a bad man.
1245
01:15:34,959 --> 01:15:36,709
I'm not the dummy.
He's the dummy.
1246
01:15:36,792 --> 01:15:38,083
Can you believe how stiff he is?
1247
01:15:38,167 --> 01:15:40,792
And I'm the one made of wood.
1248
01:15:40,876 --> 01:15:43,209
♪ Nothing else is gonna do ♪
1249
01:15:43,292 --> 01:15:44,709
♪ Don't say no ♪
1250
01:15:44,792 --> 01:15:47,083
♪ Don't stop doing
that thing you do ♪
1251
01:15:47,167 --> 01:15:51,459
♪ Oh, your sweet love
is making me high ♪
1252
01:15:53,542 --> 01:15:55,500
I don't want any "trou-bubbles."
1253
01:15:55,584 --> 01:15:58,000
[laughing]
1254
01:15:58,083 --> 01:15:59,918
Have you got a little
wiener and some... Wait.
1255
01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:02,125
Get the bee out of there.
I'm not gonna play games.
1256
01:16:02,209 --> 01:16:04,792
Have you got a little
wiener and some little...
1257
01:16:04,876 --> 01:16:06,751
Get out of here.
I got a little bee.
1258
01:16:06,834 --> 01:16:10,417
There's no wiener
and there's just a bee.
1259
01:16:10,500 --> 01:16:13,083
[trilling]
1260
01:16:13,167 --> 01:16:18,125
I still have the greatest
anti-Disguisey weapon of all.
1261
01:16:21,417 --> 01:16:24,500
There's a dark side
exactly like Star Wars?
1262
01:16:27,918 --> 01:16:29,959
[laser blast]
1263
01:16:30,042 --> 01:16:31,375
What's going on?
1264
01:16:31,459 --> 01:16:33,334
Pistachio's in grave danger.
1265
01:16:33,417 --> 01:16:35,209
Pistachio, come back. [Echoing]
1266
01:16:35,292 --> 01:16:37,250
[laser blasts]
1267
01:16:37,334 --> 01:16:38,959
Uh, but...
1268
01:16:39,042 --> 01:16:41,459
[babbling]
1269
01:16:44,792 --> 01:16:46,626
No!
1270
01:16:48,417 --> 01:16:51,083
Yes, I see now.
1271
01:16:51,709 --> 01:16:57,083
Love is thicker
than your behinds.
1272
01:16:57,167 --> 01:17:00,375
Look what Daddy made
for you, a little sweater.
1273
01:17:00,459 --> 01:17:03,792
I knitted last night for
you, little Buttercup.
1274
01:17:03,876 --> 01:17:06,125
My name is Gluteus Maximus.
1275
01:17:06,209 --> 01:17:07,834
Are you not entertained?
1276
01:17:07,918 --> 01:17:11,375
Why are your arms
around the tush queen?
1277
01:17:11,459 --> 01:17:13,667
Wait, I screwed it up.
She's the cake.
1278
01:17:13,751 --> 01:17:15,476
You're the queen. Whatever.
All right. Here we go.
1279
01:17:15,500 --> 01:17:19,876
And remember, Humpty
Dumpty sat on the wall.
1280
01:17:19,959 --> 01:17:24,375
No one really had a clue what he
was doing up there in the first place.
1281
01:17:24,459 --> 01:17:27,751
♪ I wish you could come ♪
1282
01:17:27,834 --> 01:17:33,292
♪ I wish you could
Baby, you could come ♪
1283
01:17:34,459 --> 01:17:36,000
♪ This is gonna be fun ♪
1284
01:17:36,083 --> 01:17:38,000
♪ This is gonna be real ♪
1285
01:17:38,083 --> 01:17:41,918
- Now show me some toys.
- Toys, yes, of course. Toys. Here.
1286
01:17:42,000 --> 01:17:45,584
How about this? This is
the world's first giant yo-yo.
1287
01:17:45,667 --> 01:17:49,500
Oh, whoopsie-cadabra.
It looks more like a no-yo.
1288
01:17:49,584 --> 01:17:51,792
[giggling]
1289
01:17:53,500 --> 01:17:57,042
♪ This is gonna be real ♪
1290
01:18:05,667 --> 01:18:07,584
Hello?
1291
01:18:07,667 --> 01:18:09,125
What?
1292
01:18:16,209 --> 01:18:17,667
Hello?
1293
01:18:26,709 --> 01:18:28,667
What?
1294
01:18:28,751 --> 01:18:31,375
Who? Who are you?
1295
01:18:31,459 --> 01:18:36,000
What... What were you doing
in the slapping dummy?
1296
01:18:36,083 --> 01:18:37,876
Slap!
1297
01:18:37,959 --> 01:18:41,792
Come back here, slapping
dummy man. It was you all along.
1298
01:18:41,876 --> 01:18:44,834
All the time.
You were the one, huh?
1299
01:18:44,918 --> 01:18:47,626
I going to get you.
I'm going to get you.
1300
01:18:47,709 --> 01:18:51,500
Now, all right.
All right. Let's not fight.
1301
01:18:51,584 --> 01:18:54,500
I just want to talk, okay?
1302
01:18:54,584 --> 01:18:57,709
Now, listen.
I just want to talk to you.
1303
01:18:57,792 --> 01:18:59,292
I slap you.
1304
01:19:02,500 --> 01:19:04,292
Come back here.
1305
01:19:05,500 --> 01:19:08,834
Come back here,
slapping dummy man.
1306
01:19:08,918 --> 01:19:11,292
[slapping]
1307
01:19:11,375 --> 01:19:12,709
Please.
1308
01:19:12,792 --> 01:19:14,167
I'll get you, Pistachio.
1309
01:19:14,250 --> 01:19:15,792
Please, slapping dummy man.
1310
01:19:15,876 --> 01:19:17,542
I'll get you, Pistachio.
1311
01:19:17,626 --> 01:19:19,584
I didn't mean it,
slapping dummy man.
1312
01:19:19,667 --> 01:19:20,918
I'll get you, Pistachio.
1313
01:19:21,000 --> 01:19:23,000
I did not mean it,
slapping dummy man.
1314
01:19:23,083 --> 01:19:25,292
I'll get you, Pistachio.
1315
01:19:25,918 --> 01:19:28,250
So we find the Nest,
which was amazing.
1316
01:19:28,334 --> 01:19:32,209
And then we started training. And
then we go to... to the slapping dummy.
1317
01:19:32,292 --> 01:19:36,292
No offense, but you gave me
quite a workout a couple times.
1318
01:19:36,375 --> 01:19:38,626
I'm telling, you must
really love to slap.
1319
01:19:38,709 --> 01:19:41,500
I love to slap.
Yes, you love to slap. Yes.
1320
01:19:41,584 --> 01:19:43,209
What you people
still doing here?
1321
01:19:43,292 --> 01:19:46,709
You just saw the movie, okay?
I'm trying to talk, all right?
1322
01:19:46,792 --> 01:19:51,292
Good-bye. [Chuckles]
All right. So, anyway...
1323
01:19:51,375 --> 01:19:53,125
Pistachio, I'm sad.
1324
01:19:53,209 --> 01:19:54,459
What is the matter?
1325
01:19:54,542 --> 01:19:55,792
I want to say good-bye.
1326
01:19:55,876 --> 01:19:57,959
All right. We fade up.
1327
01:19:58,042 --> 01:20:00,125
Good-bye. Good-bye.
1328
01:20:00,209 --> 01:20:03,083
♪ He's the M-A-S-T-E-R
of Disguise ♪
1329
01:20:03,167 --> 01:20:05,709
♪ Watch him change
in front of your eyes ♪
1330
01:20:05,792 --> 01:20:07,542
No more dog food.
1331
01:20:07,626 --> 01:20:08,959
Turtle, turtle.
1332
01:20:09,042 --> 01:20:11,709
♪ M-A-S-T-E-R of Disguise ♪
1333
01:20:11,792 --> 01:20:13,459
♪ Watch him change
in front of your eyes ♪
1334
01:20:13,542 --> 01:20:16,417
♪ The master
Master of Disguise ♪