1
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:15,700
Morning.

2
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:58,785
Good morning.

3
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,369
Morning.

4
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,964
Get your fingers
out of the icing.

5
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:55,842
Tommy Lee, get your
fingers out of the frosting.

6
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:13,985
Wave those flags, son.

7
00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,528
Get out of there!

8
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,321
Yeah!
Hit them again!

9
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:18,781
Get out of here!

10
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:21,367
Get out of them
trees, damn it!

11
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:22,368
Aah!

12
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:25,872
Yeah! Get 'em! Migrate south, will you?

13
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,248
Mama.

14
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:30,001
Mama!

15
00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:32,003
Three more radios
for you, Shelby.

16
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:33,337
Not now, Tommy.

17
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:36,507
Mama, this nail polish
is drying way too dark.

18
00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:40,011
Practically paint my foot. Looks like
a stuck pig bled all over my hands.

19
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,805
I'm sure I have
something that will do.

20
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:45,224
Oh, no.

21
00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:47,059
It has
to be delicate.

22
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,603
If I don't
have something,

23
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:49,896
I will send your brothers

24
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,522
to get delicate pink
nail polish.

25
00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:52,481
Mama, there's...

26
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:53,733
Just a minute.

27
00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:56,736
Great idea, Mama. I'd love to
see what the boys would pick out.

28
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,070
Delivery man!

29
00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:00,072
Someone stop that truck!
Stop that...

30
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:01,657
Aah!

31
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,951
Don't put ice
down my back!

32
00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:05,912
You should have
drowned them at birth.

33
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,204
Shelby.

34
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:08,998
See if you can get this.

35
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,333
Mama, my nails are wet.

36
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,834
Shelby.

37
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,170
Ma'am.

38
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,505
Would you look
at those, please?

39
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,676
Myrtle, hi.

40
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,346
Hold on, please.

41
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,556
I'm going to get you
right now!

42
00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:30,061
Drum, sweetheart,
I'm on the phone!

43
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:33,773
Stop that now!
I can't hear myself think!

44
00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:37,777
Myrtle, the champagne glasses,
they're all broken.

45
00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,362
Help.

46
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,207
Spud!

47
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:05,763
Spud, turn off
that stupid television.

48
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:09,266
Get in here and finish
dyeing these easter eggs.

49
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,768
I ran out of stuff.

50
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,770
That's why God
invented the A&P.

51
00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,772
I got to work
on the truck.

52
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,774
No. You got
to get the lead out.

53
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,818
Yes, ma'am.
I live to serve.

54
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:21,779
If those eggs are not
at the church by noon,

55
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,155
they don't get hidden.

56
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,826
Are you listening
to me, Spud?

57
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,123
Mrs. Jones?

58
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,416
Are you Annelle?

59
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,210
Oh, you sweet thing.
Come on in.

60
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,170
Excuse me.

61
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:42,008
And pick up my green dress
at the cleaners!

62
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,010
Am I interrupting
something?

63
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,512
No. I'm just screaming
at my husband.

64
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,306
I can do that anytime.

65
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,767
Please, call me Truvy.

66
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,519
Truvy. Thank you.

67
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:55,855
Mama, look at this.

68
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,857
This was in
the hall closet.

69
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,316
What is it?

70
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:00,860
Rubbers.

71
00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:02,111
Tommy says
Jonathan's planning

72
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,739
to cover the honeymoon
getaway car with these.

73
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,033
Please stop him!

74
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,451
Keep your voice down.

75
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:09,910
Keep your voice...
Jonathan!

76
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,371
Boys, I want
to talk to you.

77
00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,414
Tommy. Jonathan!

78
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:14,540
Tommy!

79
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:18,878
Jonathan, don't you decorate
your sister's car with condoms!

80
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,296
It's tacky!

81
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,257
It's like talking
to a brick wall.

82
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,260
If he's trying
to drive me crazy,

83
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:27,386
it's too late.

84
00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:30,723
There must be a better way
to get rid of those birds.

85
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:33,726
We could cut down
all our trees

86
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,269
or change
the migratory patterns

87
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,562
of North American birds.

88
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,231
You told him
to get rid of them.

89
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:42,068
I had no idea he would alienate
the entire neighborhood.

90
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,903
The neighborhood
would be more alienated

91
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:46,280
if they got covered
in bird shit

92
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:47,615
at my reception.

93
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:51,285
Pretty talk.
You have to be so crude?

94
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,257
Okay.

95
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,093
Oops.
I see a hole.

96
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,637
Yeah. I was hoping
you'd catch that.

97
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,932
It's a little bit pouffier
than I would normally do,

98
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:14,433
but I'm nervous.

99
00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:16,393
Oh, I'm not worried
about that.

100
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,896
I usually wrap
my entire head in toilet paper

101
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,439
when I go to bed,

102
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:22,441
so it gets
pretty smooshed down

103
00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:23,734
in that process, anyway.

104
00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:25,903
In my class
at the trade school,

105
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,572
I was number one in
frosting and streaking.

106
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,074
I did my own.

107
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,784
Really?

108
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:32,785
That's good.

109
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,496
And I can usually
spot a bottle job

110
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:36,997
at 20 paces.

111
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,500
Your technique
is really good.

112
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,835
Thanks.

113
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:44,922
I think your form and content
will improve with time.

114
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:47,424
So, best I can tell, young lady,

115
00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,468
you've just landed yourself a job.

116
00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:52,304
Oh! Great!
Oh, thank you!

117
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,973
Oh, thank you,
Miss Truvy.

118
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,975
No time for thanks
this morning.

119
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,477
We'll be busier than
a one-armed paper hanger.

120
00:07:58,562 --> 00:07:59,812
Here.
Let me help you.

121
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:00,980
I got it.

122
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:03,566
You got hairs and fuzzies
all over you.

123
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,068
There's so much static
electricity in this room,

124
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:08,863
I pick up everything
but boys and money.

125
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,410
Louie!

126
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,370
Louie, hold up.

127
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:17,997
I want you
to meet Annelle.

128
00:08:18,081 --> 00:08:18,873
Hi.

129
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,875
She's taking Judy's place.

130
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,376
Swell.

131
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,838
Louie, take out the garbage!

132
00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,006
Can't!

133
00:08:27,090 --> 00:08:28,632
Late.

134
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,969
What did you
hire her for?

135
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:36,640
Our son.

136
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:39,810
We're so proud of him.

137
00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:42,855
Annelle, honey, what do
you say we talk some trash?

138
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,023
Okay.

139
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,651
I am so excited.

140
00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:49,320
I can't believe
it's happening.

141
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,654
I'm a beautician.

142
00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:53,866
Ah-ah-ah.
Glamour technician.

143
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,784
Glamour technician.

144
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,245
And I'll have you know
you are working

145
00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,789
in the most successful shop
in this town.

146
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,541
I have a strict philosophy

147
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:05,211
that I have stuck to
for 15 years...

148
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:10,966
There is no such thing
as natural beauty.

149
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:14,261
You remember that,
or we're all out of a job.

150
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:17,389
Look at me. It takes some
effort to look like this.

151
00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:19,225
Oh, I can see that.

152
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,311
How long
have you been in town?

153
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,729
A few weeks.

154
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:24,939
New in town.

155
00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:27,983
It must be exciting
being in a new place.

156
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,945
I wouldn't know.
I've lived here all my life.

157
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:34,240
Well, tell me things
about yourself.

158
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:35,741
There's
nothing to tell.

159
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,577
I live here.
I've got a job now.

160
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:39,912
That's it.

161
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,414
Can I borrow these back
issues of Southern Hair?

162
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:43,749
Sure. Take them.

163
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,084
It is essential

164
00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:47,920
to stay abreast
of the latest styles.

165
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,922
I'm glad
to see your interest.

166
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,424
Well, you must live close by.

167
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,218
At least in walking distance.

168
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:55,928
I didn't see a car.

169
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,391
I don't have a car.

170
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,893
I've been staying
across the river

171
00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:04,603
at Robeline's
boarding house.

172
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:07,606
That's quite a walk.

173
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,400
Ruth Robeline.

174
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,819
Now there is a story for you.

175
00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:14,780
She is a troubled,
twisted soul.

176
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,367
Her whole life has been
an experiment in terror.

177
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,995
Her husband got killed
in World War II.

178
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:23,872
Then her son got killed
in Vietnam.

179
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,708
When it comes to suffering,

180
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,294
she is right up there
with Elizabeth Taylor.

181
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:29,962
I had no idea.

182
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,050
Hello, Clairee!

183
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,260
Good morning.

184
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,345
Annelle, I'd like
to introduce you

185
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,347
to the former first lady
of Chinquapin...

186
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:41,473
Mrs. Belcher.

187
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:44,018
Clairee, I'd like you
to meet Annelle.

188
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:45,644
I'm a little embarrassed.
I'm windblown.

189
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:48,480
I've just been to the dedication
of the new children's park.

190
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,316
Yeah.
How did that go?

191
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,775
Beautifully,

192
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:55,612
except Janice Van Meter
got hit with a baseball.

193
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,156
It was fabulous.

194
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,490
Was she hurt?

195
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:01,452
I doubt it.
She got hit in the head.

196
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,996
Janice Van Meter's
the current mayor's wife.

197
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,164
We hate her.

198
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:08,000
They named the new park
after Clairee's late husband.

199
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,294
This town is
so proud of her.

200
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:11,837
That's nice.

201
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,923
What's your
family name, dear?

202
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,968
Well, my married name
is Dupuy,

203
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,346
and I'm originally from Zwolle.

204
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,764
How nice.

205
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,807
Annelle, honey, there's
some towels in the dryer.

206
00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:26,643
Would you fold them
and bring them in?

207
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:27,686
Sure.

208
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:28,645
Thank you.

209
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,981
Sweet gal.
Where did you find her?

210
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,316
Yesterday, when Judy quit,

211
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,817
I called the trade school

212
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,820
and told them
to send me a warm body.

213
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,823
Annelle was the valedictorian
of the hairdo class.

214
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,826
And I think there's a story there.

215
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:44,745
What makes you
say that?

216
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,705
Well, for starters,
she's married,

217
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:49,708
but she's living
over at Ruth Robeline's.

218
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:51,126
Alone.

219
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,254
I'd get to the bottom of this
if I were you...

220
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,799
if you have silverware
you'd like to keep.

221
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,760
I'm not worried. She's
as sweet as she can be.

222
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:04,056
Besides, I kind of like the idea
of hiring somebody with a past.

223
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,808
She can't be
more than 18.

224
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,394
She hasn't had time
to have a past.

225
00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:09,728
Get with it, Clairee.

226
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,063
This is the '80s.

227
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,899
If you achieve puberty,
you can achieve a past.

228
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:15,901
Whoa!

229
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,069
That man!

230
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,987
I swear, I don't know

231
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,323
how M'Lynn
puts up with that.

232
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,161
Go on! Get out of here!

233
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:00,946
Jackson, please.

234
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,407
I'm going to talk
some sense into you.

235
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:06,827
It's bad luck to see me
before the wedding.

236
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,538
So you are going to marry me.

237
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:10,539
Jackson...

238
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,959
We can work this out,
Shelby, please.

239
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,462
You want to
go through with this.

240
00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:19,798
I don't want to give back
all the wedding presents.

241
00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:24,136
That VCR alone is worth
getting married for,

242
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,180
and I love you.

243
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,476
If Daddy
catches you in here,

244
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,978
whether or not I can
carry your children

245
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,313
will not matter.

246
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:35,981
He will cut your thing off.

247
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,858
Say you're going
to marry me.

248
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,402
I hate suspense.

249
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,656
Okay. Okay.

250
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:47,951
You meet me at 2:00.
Presbyterian church.

251
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:51,079
I'll be the one in the veil
down front.

252
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:57,669
Oh.

253
00:13:57,754 --> 00:14:00,214
I'm going to make you
very happy.

254
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,138
We'll see.

255
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,938
Boy, give me the sports.

256
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:25,197
Boys, we're off to Truvy's.

257
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:28,033
Jonathan, keep your eye
on your brother Tommy.

258
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,368
Am I my brother's keeper?

259
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,703
Your brother's warden
is what you are.

260
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,705
That horrible woman
is coming by

261
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,166
to deliver the groom's cake
in about an...

262
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,546
Where's your father?

263
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,464
His coffee
kicked in.

264
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,135
Shelby, let's go.

265
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,930
Okay, Mama.
I said I'd be right there.

266
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,229
Shelby, you're going to be
late for your own wedding.

267
00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,399
I'm wearing my hair down
'cause Jackson likes it down.

268
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:03,402
The veil would be prettier
with your hair up.

269
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:05,571
Get over it, Mama.

270
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:06,655
Whoops.

271
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,659
Come here!
Stop it, Rhett!

272
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,452
Oh, shit!

273
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:13,996
It's Miss Ouiser.

274
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,747
Back door.

275
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,627
Drum!

276
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:21,878
Rhett!

277
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:22,963
M'Lynn!

278
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:25,591
Open the door!
I know you're in there!

279
00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,259
Drum!

280
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,428
I think there's somebody at the door.

281
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,763
I think
it's for Daddy.

282
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,807
I know you're in there!

283
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,810
That is all she wrote!

284
00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:38,729
Say please.

285
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:39,855
Thank you.

286
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,442
Get over here,
Rhett!

287
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,152
Stop pulling!

288
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,112
Sit. Oh, Rhett!

289
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,406
Sit! Sit.

290
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:53,869
Ouiser, you look
like hammered shit.

291
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,621
Don't talk to me like that!

292
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,457
I'm sorry. You look
like regular shit.

293
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:01,126
I have such a bone
to pick with you.

294
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,005
Woof! Aah!

295
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,465
Stop egging him on.

296
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:07,466
Come here.

297
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:10,218
Listen, I have just
come from the vet.

298
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:12,596
Come here, Rhett.

299
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,306
Whitey Black says

300
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:15,974
that all this noise

301
00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,601
that you've
been making around here

302
00:16:17,685 --> 00:16:19,144
for the last few days

303
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,314
has been causing a nervous
condition in my dog.

304
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:25,150
Look at this.
All his hair's falling out.

305
00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:28,904
I got to give this animal
tranquilizers.

306
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,739
Whitey Black is a moron.

307
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,659
I'm not even sure
he has opposable thumbs.

308
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:37,120
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have work out in the backyard.

309
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:40,582
Hi, Miss Ouiser.

310
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,417
Ecch. Leave me alone.

311
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,919
Now you listen to me.

312
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,421
I don't know
if I'm coming or going.

313
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,840
I heard you got so screwed up

314
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,301
you cut your dog
out of your will

315
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:53,428
and had an ungrateful
nephew put to sleep.

316
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,764
I'm at the end
of my rope.

317
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:59,226
Well, tie a noose in it
and slip it over your head.

318
00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:03,271
Oh, damn it, Ouiser.

319
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,983
I don't want
to have to kill you.

320
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,652
Boys! Bring me my gun!

321
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,612
Don't you threaten me,
Drum Eatenton,

322
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,614
or I will call the police.

323
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,242
I got to scare away
about five zillion birds

324
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,244
this afternoon before
Shelby's reception.

325
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,371
If I don't, I'll have
to deal with my wife,

326
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,748
and I make it a point
never to deal with my wife.

327
00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:23,625
But that dog is on
his last legs.

328
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,294
What am I going to do
with that poor animal?

329
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,754
Serve him on toast.

330
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,801
You get those magnolias
out of my tree?

331
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,971
The judge has not decided
whose tree that is exactly.

332
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,806
It is mine.

333
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,726
I will speak to M'Lynn about this.

334
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:46,148
Now, are these chocolate
chips semisweet or milk?

335
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:47,566
They're milk.

336
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,901
Is the Karo syrup
light or dark?

337
00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:51,403
It's a matter of taste.

338
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:52,738
Where's
the other one

339
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,030
you were
talking about...

340
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:55,240
A cuppa-cuppa-cup?

341
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,409
That's simple. You don't
need to write that down.

342
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,578
A cup of flour,
a cup of sugar,

343
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,830
a cup of fruit cocktail
with the juice,

344
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,124
and you mix
and bake at 350

345
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,250
to a golden bubbly.

346
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,252
Sounds awfully rich.

347
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:10,630
It is. So I serve it over ice
cream to cut the sweetness.

348
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,466
I'll be right back,
honey.

349
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:16,052
Well, M'Lynn, looks like
you're ready to roll.

350
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:19,055
I think we can trust
Annelle to do that.

351
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,892
Honey, her coiffure card's
in a box on the counter.

352
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,226
Oh, I don't know.

353
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:24,728
Today is a very special day,

354
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:27,397
and my work tends to be
too pouffy when I'm nervous.

355
00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:29,733
You stop that.
You're a professional now,

356
00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:32,027
so get over there
and bang some hair.

357
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:37,532
Does your dress
have to go over your head?

358
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:39,993
No.

359
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,870
Oh, good.

360
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:43,789
I'm sorry.

361
00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:44,915
Relax.

362
00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:46,917
You can't
screw up her hair.

363
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,669
Just make it look like
a brown football helmet.

364
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:52,380
I must have missed
the passage in Emily Post

365
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:55,926
that said all abuse is heaped
on the mother of the bride.

366
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:58,220
Oh, hush, girls.

367
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,305
Shelby, your mama
never tells us much.

368
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,515
What's Jackson like?

369
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:02,849
He's really cute.

370
00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:04,851
I thought he was a pest at first,

371
00:19:04,936 --> 00:19:07,145
but he kind of grew on me
and now I love him.

372
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,689
You made
a very good catch, Shelby.

373
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,984
Louisiana lawyers do well,
whether they want to or not.

374
00:19:13,069 --> 00:19:14,361
I don't really care.

375
00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:15,695
Don't get me wrong.

376
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,697
The money's real nice and all,

377
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:21,326
but I just like the idea
of growing old with somebody.

378
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,328
My dream is to get old

379
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:26,331
and sit on the back porch
covered with grandchildren

380
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:28,416
and say "no"
and "stop that."

381
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,794
Are you going to quit
your nursing job?

382
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,295
Never. I love it.

383
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,840
I love being around
all those babies.

384
00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,341
Drum and I both feel

385
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:38,885
she should not work
after she gets married.

386
00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:41,304
I'm so anxious to discuss this topic

387
00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:43,056
for the 900th time this week.

388
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:45,267
You should not be on your feet
all day long.

389
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,352
You should be kinder
to your circulatory system.

390
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,896
You know what you need
in here, Truvy?

391
00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:51,231
You need a radio.

392
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,733
Music is a wonderful thing
to have in the background.

393
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:57,779
It takes the pressure off everybody
feeling they have to talk so much.

394
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,197
I used to have one,

395
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:00,907
but I slammed it
against the wall

396
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:03,660
when I couldn't figure out
where the batteries went.

397
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,161
Of course I know now

398
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:08,415
I was suffering from
premenstrual syndrome.

399
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:11,585
Radio... What did I just...

400
00:20:11,669 --> 00:20:13,461
Oh, yes.

401
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:17,215
The Antilley family
is selling KPPD.

402
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:20,343
I wonder how much
radio stations sell for.

403
00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:23,346
Miss Clairee, you should buy KPPD.

404
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,015
You got plenty of money.

405
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:27,559
What would I do
with a radio station?

406
00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:28,852
Business never interested me.

407
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:31,271
Lloyd took care
of all that stuff.

408
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:35,066
I hope you and Jackson
will be as happy

409
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,693
as Lloyd and I were.

410
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:38,862
We had such a good time...

411
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,906
until November.

412
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:45,785
At least he hung on
through the state playoffs.

413
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,830
Miss Clairee,
there are still good times to be had.

414
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:53,543
Well, I really do love football,

415
00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:57,505
but it's hard to parlay that
into a reason to live.

416
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,300
What are your colors, Shelby?

417
00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:01,968
They're Blush and Bashful.

418
00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:03,637
Ooh!

419
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:05,430
Her colors are pink and pink.

420
00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:08,767
My colors are Blush
and Bashful, Mama.

421
00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:11,645
How precious is this wedding
going to get?

422
00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:13,688
My colors are Blush and Bashful.

423
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,857
I have chosen two shades of pink.

424
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,734
One is much deeper than the other.

425
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:20,946
But the bridesmaids' dresses,
they are really beautiful.

426
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:23,323
The ceremony will be, too.

427
00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:25,784
The walls are banked
with sprays of flowers

428
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:28,453
in my two shades
of Blush and Bashful,

429
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:31,957
pink carpet specially
laid out for my service,

430
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,291
and pink silk bunting

431
00:21:33,376 --> 00:21:36,252
draped over anything
that would stand still.

432
00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:39,839
That sanctuary looks like it's
been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol.

433
00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:43,134
I like pink.
Pink is my signature color.

434
00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:44,552
How many
bridesmaids?

435
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,054
Nine.

436
00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,098
Nine? Good lord.

437
00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:49,307
Exactly.

438
00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:52,477
Mama made me have my cousins
and Margie St. Maurice.

439
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,479
Let's not go into this now.

440
00:21:54,563 --> 00:21:56,147
There was no way around it.

441
00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:57,774
It will be pretentious.

442
00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:59,150
And Daddy always says,

443
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:01,695
"An ounce of pretension's
worth a pound of manure."

444
00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:04,197
The poet laureate
of Dogwood Lane.

445
00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:06,491
Mama, I wish you'd
get off Daddy's back.

446
00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:07,659
Shelby, look. I don't...

447
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:09,494
Fill us in
on the reception.

448
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:13,039
My reception,
my reception...

449
00:22:13,124 --> 00:22:15,583
Ferns, dancing,
tons of people,

450
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:18,294
every pink flower
west of the Mississippi,

451
00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:20,505
wedding cake
in the dining room,

452
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:24,050
and the groom's cake
hidden in the carport.

453
00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:26,970
Shelby and I,
we agree on one thing...

454
00:22:27,096 --> 00:22:29,723
The groom's cake.
The groom's cake.

455
00:22:29,807 --> 00:22:31,057
It's awful.

456
00:22:31,142 --> 00:22:34,352
It's in the shape
of a giant armadillo.

457
00:22:34,437 --> 00:22:35,979
An armadillo?

458
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:37,564
You're joking, right?

459
00:22:37,648 --> 00:22:40,483
Jackson wanted a cake
in the shape of an armadillo.

460
00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:41,735
His aunt makes them.

461
00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:43,611
It's unusual.

462
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:44,779
It's repulsive.

463
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:46,865
It's got gray icing.

464
00:22:46,949 --> 00:22:49,617
I can't even begin to think
how you make gray icing.

465
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:53,121
Worse, the cake part
is red velvet cake...

466
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:54,414
Blood red.

467
00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:57,208
People are going to be
hacking into this poor animal.

468
00:22:57,293 --> 00:22:59,210
It looks like
it's bleeding to death.

469
00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:01,463
The rehearsal supper
was a real experience.

470
00:23:01,547 --> 00:23:03,882
Mama, it wasn't that bad.

471
00:23:03,966 --> 00:23:06,718
It was at Jackson's uncle's
place on the river.

472
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:08,928
Jackson's from
a good ol' Southern family

473
00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:10,472
with good ol' Southern values...

474
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,557
Either shoot it,
stuff it, or marry it.

475
00:23:12,641 --> 00:23:15,435
They're simply outdoorsy,
that's all.

476
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:18,730
Did y'all do anything
especially romantic?

477
00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:20,732
We drove down
to Frenchman's Point

478
00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:22,233
and went parking.

479
00:23:22,318 --> 00:23:23,443
Ooh.

480
00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:26,154
Oh, Shelby, really.

481
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:27,697
Oh, M'Lynn,
leave her alone.

482
00:23:27,782 --> 00:23:29,407
This is my favorite part.

483
00:23:29,492 --> 00:23:31,034
This is the romantic part.

484
00:23:31,118 --> 00:23:34,037
Now, see, that's what
really melts my butter.

485
00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:36,581
Well, then,
we went skinny-dipping,

486
00:23:36,665 --> 00:23:38,833
and we did things that
frightened the fish.

487
00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:41,920
It's been a long time since we've
had a youngster in this place.

488
00:23:42,004 --> 00:23:44,422
And we talked
and talked and talked.

489
00:23:44,507 --> 00:23:46,257
I love those kind
of talks...

490
00:23:46,342 --> 00:23:48,760
In the arms of
the man you love.

491
00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:51,096
Actually, we fought
most of the time.

492
00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:52,680
You fought?

493
00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:55,141
'Cause I told him
I wouldn't marry him.

494
00:23:55,226 --> 00:23:56,768
What?

495
00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:59,187
Why did you do
a thing like that?

496
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,940
Oh, it's okay now.
We worked it all out.

497
00:24:02,024 --> 00:24:05,985
Oh, it was probably one of
those last-minute jitter things.

498
00:24:06,070 --> 00:24:08,363
No, but the wedding's still on.

499
00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:10,615
Well, thank goodness,

500
00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:14,285
because this is going in
the hairdo hall of fame.

501
00:24:14,370 --> 00:24:15,787
Shelby,
you scared us.

502
00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:17,831
That wasn't a nice thing
to do to your mama.

503
00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:22,293
Never say a thing like that to a woman
who's marinating 50 pounds of crab claws.

504
00:24:22,378 --> 00:24:26,548
Oh, but the making up
can be so romantic.

505
00:24:27,758 --> 00:24:30,009
I miss romance so much.

506
00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:32,554
Oh, Truvy.
It can't be that bad.

507
00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:33,972
Oh, really, now?

508
00:24:34,056 --> 00:24:36,808
The last romantic thing
my husband did for me

509
00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:38,143
was back in 1972.

510
00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:41,521
He enclosed this carport
so I could support him.

511
00:24:41,605 --> 00:24:44,566
I think I have something
that could cheer you up.

512
00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:46,568
Drum and I have
been planning

513
00:24:46,652 --> 00:24:48,027
on talking
to your husband

514
00:24:48,112 --> 00:24:50,071
about building a room onto our house.

515
00:24:50,156 --> 00:24:56,327
If you'll give Spud a job, I'll give you
hot oil treatments for the rest of your life.

516
00:24:56,412 --> 00:24:58,371
Annelle,
this looks pretty good.

517
00:24:58,455 --> 00:25:00,999
I think you know
what you're doing.

518
00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:02,000
Thank you.

519
00:25:02,084 --> 00:25:04,460
Mrs. Eatenton,
you have great hair.

520
00:25:04,545 --> 00:25:07,005
Your scalp's as clean as a whistle.

521
00:25:07,089 --> 00:25:07,964
I try.

522
00:25:08,048 --> 00:25:09,841
It must run in the family.

523
00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:13,303
The young 'un's got the prettiest
hair I ever had my hands in.

524
00:25:13,387 --> 00:25:15,847
Just because I'm bragging
on you, don't get lazy.

525
00:25:15,931 --> 00:25:17,182
Hold your head up.

526
00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:18,391
Stop it.

527
00:25:18,475 --> 00:25:19,434
Shelby?

528
00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:21,519
Shelby.

529
00:25:21,604 --> 00:25:22,645
M'Lynn!

530
00:25:23,606 --> 00:25:25,273
I'll get some juice.

531
00:25:26,317 --> 00:25:29,068
Truvy, there's some candy in my purse.

532
00:25:29,153 --> 00:25:31,237
I have some right here.

533
00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:34,199
Shelby, Shelby,
hold on.

534
00:25:34,283 --> 00:25:36,951
Clairee's getting you
some juice.

535
00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:38,203
Shelby, Shelby, Shelby.

536
00:25:38,287 --> 00:25:39,662
Should I get her a cookie?

537
00:25:39,747 --> 00:25:40,788
No. Juice is better.

538
00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:43,041
Here's the juice.

539
00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:45,835
Shelby.
Shelby, you need some juice.

540
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,086
You need some juice.

541
00:25:47,171 --> 00:25:48,296
Stop it, Mama.

542
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:49,255
Drink the juice.

543
00:25:49,340 --> 00:25:50,340
Please.

544
00:25:50,424 --> 00:25:53,968
No! Stop it, Mama!
I have some candy in my purse.

545
00:25:54,053 --> 00:25:57,055
You didn't bring your purse, sweetheart.
You didn't bring your purse.

546
00:25:57,139 --> 00:25:58,598
No, you didn't.
Here you go.

547
00:25:58,682 --> 00:26:01,684
There you go.
Drink some of this.

548
00:26:03,646 --> 00:26:05,230
It's not any wonder,

549
00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:08,024
with all this running around
and wedding nonsense.

550
00:26:08,108 --> 00:26:11,069
Excuse me. Should I call
the doctor or something?

551
00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:12,153
No, no.

552
00:26:12,238 --> 00:26:13,404
She's a diabetic.

553
00:26:13,489 --> 00:26:16,407
She just has a little too
much insulin, that's all.

554
00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:19,077
A little more in her,
she'll be all right.

555
00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:22,163
If you don't leave me
alone, I'm going to leave.

556
00:26:22,248 --> 00:26:24,415
I'd love to see you try.

557
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:25,625
Cooperate, please.

558
00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:27,627
Honey, drink, please.

559
00:26:27,711 --> 00:26:29,796
Come on now.
That a girl.

560
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,839
Yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes' yes.

561
00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:33,758
There you go,
there you go.

562
00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:36,094
There, there, there.
That's a start.

563
00:26:36,178 --> 00:26:38,221
This one hit her fast.

564
00:26:38,305 --> 00:26:41,182
She's been
so upset lately.

565
00:26:41,267 --> 00:26:44,894
Dr. Mitchell told her
on her last appointment...

566
00:26:46,689 --> 00:26:48,189
children aren't possible.

567
00:26:49,858 --> 00:26:53,027
Don't talk about me
like I'm not here.

568
00:26:53,904 --> 00:26:57,865
Oh, oh, oh.
She's making some sense now.

569
00:26:57,950 --> 00:26:59,492
Yes, she is.

570
00:26:59,576 --> 00:27:02,578
This one was not bad at all.
It was not bad at all.

571
00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:05,873
Now I think we need
a little more juice.

572
00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:08,042
Could I do
something to help?

573
00:27:08,127 --> 00:27:11,045
No. She'll be fine.
Don't fuss over her.

574
00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:13,464
Normality is very
important to Shelby.

575
00:27:13,549 --> 00:27:14,924
Here, M'Lynn.
Thanks.

576
00:27:15,009 --> 00:27:18,219
I am really sorry about
the children part, M'Lynn.

577
00:27:18,304 --> 00:27:19,721
I know.

578
00:27:19,805 --> 00:27:22,098
Shelby's afraid that
Jackson will be throwing away

579
00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:23,516
his chance
to have children.

580
00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:27,562
Jackson said...

581
00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:31,482
"Shelby, don't be stupid.

582
00:27:31,567 --> 00:27:34,819
There's plenty of kids out there
need good homes."

583
00:27:34,903 --> 00:27:36,571
Drink some.

584
00:27:39,199 --> 00:27:41,075
"We'll adopt 10 of them.

585
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,077
We'll buy them
if we have to."

586
00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:45,830
Jackson sounds like
good people to me.

587
00:27:54,465 --> 00:27:56,257
Oh, Mama, I'm sorry.

588
00:27:56,342 --> 00:27:59,010
That's all right, honey.
Oh, it's all right.

589
00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:01,012
It's all over now.
It's over.

590
00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:02,305
You hold your juice.

591
00:28:02,389 --> 00:28:03,598
Okay.

592
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:06,184
It's all over.
Hold your juice.

593
00:28:06,268 --> 00:28:07,185
All right.

594
00:28:07,269 --> 00:28:09,312
Okay.

595
00:28:09,396 --> 00:28:10,521
You all right?

596
00:28:10,606 --> 00:28:12,440
Oh, Truvy, I'm sorry.

597
00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:13,733
Oh, I'll fix it.

598
00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:15,943
We'll fix it.

599
00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:24,285
Okay.

600
00:28:25,662 --> 00:28:28,331
What did I do with my gun?
Where did you leave it?

601
00:28:28,415 --> 00:28:30,625
How the hell do I know?

602
00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:32,794
Well, come on.
We have work to do.

603
00:28:32,878 --> 00:28:34,003
Daylight's burning.

604
00:28:34,088 --> 00:28:36,464
We're going to get rid
of some birds.

605
00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:44,597
Whoo!
Got the arrows, Daddy.

606
00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:46,099
All right, all right.

607
00:28:46,183 --> 00:28:48,768
Hey! Hey!
Lookee here, lookee here.

608
00:28:49,812 --> 00:28:51,187
Dad,
I got the target.

609
00:28:51,271 --> 00:28:54,148
No. We're not going
target shooting. Forget it.

610
00:28:55,442 --> 00:28:57,985
Miss Clairee,
what cute shoes.

611
00:28:58,070 --> 00:28:59,570
You think so?

612
00:28:59,655 --> 00:29:01,489
I'm not so sure
myself.

613
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:04,117
They seem a little
too racy for me.

614
00:29:04,201 --> 00:29:05,827
I'll probably
give them away.

615
00:29:05,911 --> 00:29:08,830
They're just
too cha-cha for words.

616
00:29:08,914 --> 00:29:10,581
I'll buy them from you.

617
00:29:10,666 --> 00:29:11,791
What size you wear?

618
00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:13,251
I wear a size 6,

619
00:29:13,335 --> 00:29:16,546
but a 7 feels so good
I buy a size 8.

620
00:29:16,630 --> 00:29:17,630
They're 81/2.

621
00:29:17,714 --> 00:29:19,132
Perfect.

622
00:29:19,216 --> 00:29:20,967
Lord, give us strength.

623
00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:25,138
Come here, Rhett!

624
00:29:25,222 --> 00:29:27,181
That is
one ugly dog.

625
00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:28,683
What kind of dog
is that?

626
00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:31,018
If it had hair,
a Saint Bernard.

627
00:29:31,103 --> 00:29:34,605
This is it. I've found it.
I am in hell.

628
00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:36,023
Good morning, Ouiser.

629
00:29:36,108 --> 00:29:38,568
Don't try to get
on my good side.

630
00:29:38,652 --> 00:29:40,445
I no longer have one.

631
00:29:40,529 --> 00:29:42,321
You're a little early,
ain't you?

632
00:29:42,406 --> 00:29:44,365
That is precisely
why I'm here...

633
00:29:44,450 --> 00:29:46,701
to talk to M'Lynn
about her husband.

634
00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:50,121
He is a boil
on the butt of humanity.

635
00:29:50,205 --> 00:29:53,583
I'm sorry, Ouiser.
This whole thing has gotten out of hand.

636
00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:58,337
It's not your fault. I used to think
you were crazy for marrying that man.

637
00:29:58,422 --> 00:30:01,382
Then I thought you were
a glutton for punishment.

638
00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:05,303
Now I realize you must be
on some mission from God.

639
00:30:05,387 --> 00:30:08,848
Miss Ouiser, Daddy isn't
trying to drive you crazy.

640
00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:10,558
He's just trying
to make my reception nice.

641
00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:12,602
His heart's
in the right place.

642
00:30:12,686 --> 00:30:15,354
Ouiser,
I know for a fact

643
00:30:15,439 --> 00:30:16,981
there will be
no more gunshots.

644
00:30:17,065 --> 00:30:19,025
He was going
to fire a gun at me.

645
00:30:19,109 --> 00:30:20,151
They're blanks.

646
00:30:20,235 --> 00:30:23,237
Drum would never point a gun at a lady.

647
00:30:24,239 --> 00:30:25,615
He's a real gentleman.

648
00:30:25,699 --> 00:30:28,743
I bet he takes the dishes out
of the sink before he pees in it.

649
00:30:37,461 --> 00:30:39,337
Who the hell are you?

650
00:30:39,421 --> 00:30:42,715
Uh... Annelle.

651
00:30:42,799 --> 00:30:43,674
This is my new...

652
00:30:43,759 --> 00:30:44,675
Fine.

653
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,011
Now I know everybody
in this town.

654
00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:50,014
And I don't recall
having seen you before.

655
00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:53,351
I just moved into town
not too long ago.

656
00:30:53,435 --> 00:30:55,520
With your family?

657
00:30:55,604 --> 00:30:57,688
I don't have any family
to speak of.

658
00:30:57,773 --> 00:30:59,106
Your husband?

659
00:31:01,318 --> 00:31:03,361
My husband?

660
00:31:03,445 --> 00:31:05,029
Yes.

661
00:31:05,113 --> 00:31:08,407
Well, that's
kind of hard to say.

662
00:31:08,492 --> 00:31:09,075
I, uh...

663
00:31:10,327 --> 00:31:11,619
I don't know.

664
00:31:11,703 --> 00:31:13,829
You don't know?

665
00:31:13,914 --> 00:31:15,289
Well, I'm not sure.

666
00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:16,749
You're not sure?

667
00:31:16,833 --> 00:31:19,710
I'm intrigued.
Are you married or not?

668
00:31:19,795 --> 00:31:22,088
These are not
difficult questions.

669
00:31:25,801 --> 00:31:28,636
Well... we're...

670
00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:31,597
I can't talk about it.

671
00:31:31,682 --> 00:31:33,140
Of course you can.

672
00:31:35,143 --> 00:31:38,479
Well, I'm not sure
if I'm married or not.

673
00:31:38,564 --> 00:31:39,772
He's gone.

674
00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:42,400
Men are the most
horrible creatures, honey.

675
00:31:42,484 --> 00:31:44,443
They will ruin your life,
mark my words.

676
00:31:44,528 --> 00:31:46,571
Everything is horrible.

677
00:31:46,655 --> 00:31:50,866
Bunky- that's my husband...
He just vanished last week.

678
00:31:50,951 --> 00:31:53,869
He took all the money,
my jewelry, the car.

679
00:31:53,954 --> 00:31:56,205
Most of my clothes
were in the trunk.

680
00:31:56,290 --> 00:31:58,165
He's in big trouble
with the law.

681
00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,375
Mm-hmm.

682
00:31:59,459 --> 00:32:00,918
Drugs or something.

683
00:32:01,003 --> 00:32:05,256
The police keep questioning me,
but I don't know anything.

684
00:32:05,340 --> 00:32:08,843
They say that our marriage
may not be legal.

685
00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:11,929
Well, I wish you'd
have said something.

686
00:32:12,014 --> 00:32:13,389
I was scared to.

687
00:32:13,473 --> 00:32:16,434
I need a job
in the worst way.

688
00:32:16,518 --> 00:32:20,104
I didn't know if you would hire
someone who may or may not be married

689
00:32:20,188 --> 00:32:23,482
to someone who might be
a dangerous criminal.

690
00:32:23,567 --> 00:32:25,484
But, Miss Truvy, I swear to you,

691
00:32:25,569 --> 00:32:29,989
my personal tragedy will not interfere
with my ability to do good hair.

692
00:32:30,073 --> 00:32:32,199
Of course it won't.

693
00:32:33,535 --> 00:32:35,786
I really don't think
things could get any worse.

694
00:32:35,871 --> 00:32:37,455
Of course they can.

695
00:32:37,539 --> 00:32:39,498
We are awful.

696
00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:41,709
We are all hateful,
awful people.

697
00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:43,753
Here all we've
been talking about

698
00:32:43,837 --> 00:32:45,796
is weddings
and psychotic animals.

699
00:32:45,881 --> 00:32:48,424
What can we do to help?

700
00:32:48,508 --> 00:32:49,675
I know one thing.

701
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:51,218
Drop by this afternoon.

702
00:32:51,303 --> 00:32:53,721
You're going to have some
bleeding armadillo groom's cake.

703
00:32:53,805 --> 00:32:55,056
Oh, yes, you must.

704
00:32:55,140 --> 00:32:59,060
Oh, no, I couldn't.
I still get real emotional sometimes.

705
00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:00,645
Not today you won't.

706
00:33:00,729 --> 00:33:02,480
It's going to be
a great party.

707
00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:05,650
Well, I don't have anything to wear.

708
00:33:05,734 --> 00:33:08,319
I'll bet I have something
that will do.

709
00:33:08,403 --> 00:33:09,654
I'll call the house.

710
00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:11,572
Uh, thanks.

711
00:33:15,869 --> 00:33:17,912
All right.
Load me up.

712
00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:23,334
Ready? All right.

713
00:33:23,418 --> 00:33:25,252
We're ready.

714
00:33:25,337 --> 00:33:26,337
All right.

715
00:33:26,421 --> 00:33:27,838
Are you ready?

716
00:33:27,923 --> 00:33:29,507
Stand back.
Here we go.

717
00:33:35,472 --> 00:33:37,181
Whoa!

718
00:33:37,265 --> 00:33:38,766
Aah!
Aah!

719
00:33:39,768 --> 00:33:41,769
What the hell is that?

720
00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:50,361
You got them
real nice, Dad!

721
00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:51,821
You nailed them!

722
00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:52,863
Yeah!
Yeah!

723
00:33:55,659 --> 00:33:57,034
I hope no one was hurt.

724
00:33:57,119 --> 00:33:58,953
Shelby, get my things.

725
00:34:04,334 --> 00:34:05,251
Rhett!

726
00:34:07,003 --> 00:34:09,964
Miss Ouiser, that dog
will eat Daddy alive.

727
00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:11,966
Ohh, no!

728
00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:14,552
Ouiser, talk to him!
He'll listen to you!

729
00:34:14,636 --> 00:34:17,304
Please! It's my wedding
day. Say something!

730
00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:19,432
Kill, Rhett! Kill!

731
00:34:19,516 --> 00:34:21,559
Daddy, we're coming!

732
00:34:21,643 --> 00:34:24,145
Bite him in the balls!

733
00:35:01,850 --> 00:35:02,850
Sorry.

734
00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:26,707
I'm sorry.

735
00:35:30,378 --> 00:35:32,046
Now.

736
00:35:33,381 --> 00:35:34,548
Shelby.

737
00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:37,927
Shelby, it's time.

738
00:35:38,011 --> 00:35:44,391
Daddy, it's time.

739
00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:45,643
It's time.

740
00:35:45,727 --> 00:35:46,852
It's time!

741
00:36:18,969 --> 00:36:20,052
Grrr.

742
00:36:54,170 --> 00:36:57,131
Who gives this woman
in marriage?

743
00:36:58,717 --> 00:36:59,967
Her mother and I do!

744
00:37:07,309 --> 00:37:09,768
Dearly beloved...

745
00:37:22,991 --> 00:37:25,743
This has been the happiest
day of my life, Daddy.

746
00:37:25,827 --> 00:37:27,244
Oh, I'm glad, sugar.

747
00:37:27,329 --> 00:37:29,705
I'm not talking too loud,
am I?

748
00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:31,498
No, you're fine.

749
00:37:31,583 --> 00:37:34,501
Shelby loves you very much.

750
00:37:35,587 --> 00:37:36,921
I hope so.

751
00:37:37,005 --> 00:37:40,758
It cost me 60 bucks
to rent this sucker.

752
00:37:40,842 --> 00:37:42,718
I- I'm being serious.

753
00:37:42,802 --> 00:37:44,303
So am I.

754
00:37:44,387 --> 00:37:46,889
I got the receipt right here.

755
00:37:48,016 --> 00:37:50,184
Could I say this, please?

756
00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:54,772
Shelby is so happy.

757
00:37:56,024 --> 00:37:57,900
I know when you're young

758
00:37:57,984 --> 00:38:00,861
it seems like everything
will always be perfect.

759
00:38:00,946 --> 00:38:02,655
Maybe it will be.

760
00:38:04,950 --> 00:38:07,242
Promise me
you'll think about it

761
00:38:07,327 --> 00:38:10,204
before you make any big decisions
about family.

762
00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:13,415
I know what you're saying.

763
00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:14,541
Good.

764
00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:48,826
What can I get you?

765
00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:50,869
Nothing. No, thanks.

766
00:38:50,954 --> 00:38:53,455
You sure? It's free.

767
00:38:53,540 --> 00:38:54,665
Oh?

768
00:38:54,749 --> 00:38:56,750
Come on.
What will it be?

769
00:38:56,835 --> 00:38:59,294
A cherry Coke.

770
00:38:59,379 --> 00:39:00,379
Sure.

771
00:39:04,175 --> 00:39:07,052
So, are you a friend of
the bride or the groom?

772
00:39:09,264 --> 00:39:11,265
Neither.
Sh-Shelby invited me.

773
00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:13,350
I don't know why I'm here.

774
00:39:13,435 --> 00:39:15,060
I'm Sammy.

775
00:39:15,145 --> 00:39:19,732
And this here's the best cherry
Coke in the history of the world.

776
00:39:30,243 --> 00:39:32,077
Can I help you, sir?

777
00:39:38,835 --> 00:39:42,713
That Jackson,
he is one big hangin' man.

778
00:39:42,797 --> 00:39:44,214
Yes, I know.

779
00:39:44,299 --> 00:39:46,967
Nancy Beth, come along.

780
00:39:47,052 --> 00:39:50,095
Calories, calories.

781
00:39:50,180 --> 00:39:52,765
I don't like
Belle Marmillion.

782
00:39:52,849 --> 00:39:56,477
I don't trust anybody that does their
own hair. I don't think it's normal.

783
00:39:56,561 --> 00:39:59,438
She's the best volunteer we have
at the mental guidance center.

784
00:39:59,522 --> 00:40:01,398
She's so good
with troubled children.

785
00:40:01,483 --> 00:40:04,568
Wish I'd have taken Louie there
and got him straightened out.

786
00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:07,946
Even his imaginary playmates
wouldn't play with him.

787
00:40:08,031 --> 00:40:11,658
Oh, Truvy, your boy grew up
fine. He's just a little scary.

788
00:40:11,743 --> 00:40:16,789
I just think it'd be fun to have access
to all that secret personal information.

789
00:40:16,873 --> 00:40:18,624
Oh, come on, M'Lynn.

790
00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:21,085
Tell me some of your
most bizarre cases,

791
00:40:21,169 --> 00:40:23,087
and let me see if I can
figure out who they are.

792
00:40:23,171 --> 00:40:24,421
No.

793
00:40:24,506 --> 00:40:26,423
There's some pretty sick
tickets in this town.

794
00:40:26,508 --> 00:40:28,425
I will do no such thing.
Cut that out.

795
00:40:28,510 --> 00:40:29,468
You old fuddy-duddy.

796
00:40:42,732 --> 00:40:44,900
I'm not
speaking to you.

797
00:40:44,984 --> 00:40:47,277
Oh, what a shame.

798
00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:49,446
I mean it, Drum.

799
00:40:49,531 --> 00:40:52,783
Can we call a truce long enough
for me to get a piece of cake?

800
00:41:01,042 --> 00:41:03,085
Thanks, Ouiser.

801
00:41:03,169 --> 00:41:05,420
Nothing like
a good piece of ass.

802
00:41:08,007 --> 00:41:12,886
Clairee, you know I'd rather walk
on my lips than to criticize anybody.

803
00:41:12,971 --> 00:41:16,390
But... Janice Van Meter.

804
00:41:16,474 --> 00:41:17,683
I know.

805
00:41:17,767 --> 00:41:21,103
I bet money
she's paid $500 for that dress

806
00:41:21,187 --> 00:41:23,188
and don't even bother
to wear a girdle.

807
00:41:23,273 --> 00:41:26,984
Looks like two pigs
fighting under a blanket.

808
00:41:29,445 --> 00:41:34,283
I haven't left the house without
Lycra on these thighs since I was 14.

809
00:41:34,367 --> 00:41:36,034
You were
brought up right.

810
00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:37,494
Congratulations, Drum.

811
00:41:37,579 --> 00:41:39,163
Big day, isn't it?

812
00:41:40,331 --> 00:41:41,582
Grrr.

813
00:41:41,666 --> 00:41:46,461
Ouiser? Ouiser, there's
someone I'd like you to meet.

814
00:41:46,546 --> 00:41:48,463
That looks
like an autopsy.

815
00:41:48,548 --> 00:41:52,217
This is Jackson's
Aunt Fern Thornton.

816
00:41:52,302 --> 00:41:54,261
From Alexandria.

817
00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:56,263
She made the cake.

818
00:41:56,347 --> 00:41:57,764
You did this?

819
00:41:57,849 --> 00:41:59,808
Guilty.

820
00:41:59,893 --> 00:42:01,727
Well, it's very simple, really.

821
00:42:01,811 --> 00:42:03,520
It just takes patience.

822
00:42:03,605 --> 00:42:05,772
You only do armadillos?

823
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:08,901
No. I can do anything...
except snakes.

824
00:42:08,985 --> 00:42:11,028
I don't have
the counter space.

825
00:43:37,115 --> 00:43:40,450
Mama... help me.

826
00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:55,507
Well, this is it.
You're finally rid of me.

827
00:43:55,591 --> 00:44:00,220
Oh, I think you'll be back
every now and then.

828
00:44:01,806 --> 00:44:03,223
Corsages are pretty stupid

829
00:44:03,308 --> 00:44:05,809
when you think about it, aren't they?

830
00:44:05,893 --> 00:44:09,604
You make Jackson Latcherie
take good care of you.

831
00:44:09,689 --> 00:44:12,649
Mama, Jackson
will take care of me.

832
00:44:12,734 --> 00:44:15,235
And I'll take care of him.

833
00:44:16,154 --> 00:44:18,405
And I'm not stupid.

834
00:44:19,991 --> 00:44:21,575
I'll get my bags.

835
00:44:50,563 --> 00:44:54,107
Well, the boys just
brought the car around.

836
00:44:54,192 --> 00:44:56,193
What did they do to it?

837
00:44:58,112 --> 00:45:00,113
Let me put it this way...

838
00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:05,118
If you and Jackson want to
practice safe sex, you're all set.

839
00:45:51,666 --> 00:45:53,458
Truvy, are you
leaving so early?

840
00:45:53,543 --> 00:45:56,878
Yeah. But I'll have sweet
dreams with this under my pillow.

841
00:45:56,963 --> 00:45:58,839
I hope your husband
feels better.

842
00:45:58,923 --> 00:46:00,424
He's going to be fine.

843
00:46:00,508 --> 00:46:02,217
Say hello to Spud.
I'll do it.

844
00:46:02,301 --> 00:46:04,428
I'm sure he's sorry
he missed all this.

845
00:46:04,554 --> 00:46:07,222
Such a beautiful wedding.
Thanks, Truvy.

846
00:46:07,974 --> 00:46:09,433
You're leaving so soon?

847
00:46:32,206 --> 00:46:33,790
Hi.

848
00:46:33,875 --> 00:46:35,208
Hello.

849
00:46:37,879 --> 00:46:40,714
Would you like a ride?

850
00:46:44,594 --> 00:46:47,012
I have new shoes.

851
00:46:47,096 --> 00:46:49,097
Have to break them in.

852
00:46:53,478 --> 00:46:56,646
Well, good night.
It was a lovely day.

853
00:46:56,731 --> 00:46:57,981
Stop it.

854
00:46:58,065 --> 00:47:00,817
Walk me home, Clairee.

855
00:47:00,902 --> 00:47:02,944
You just live over there.

856
00:47:03,029 --> 00:47:05,739
I don't want to walk
in that house by myself.

857
00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:07,240
You watch the news.

858
00:47:07,325 --> 00:47:09,993
You know what kind
of world we're living in.

859
00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,161
Walk me home.

860
00:47:11,245 --> 00:47:12,829
Who's going to walk me home?

861
00:47:12,914 --> 00:47:14,623
You've got the flashlight.

862
00:47:14,707 --> 00:47:16,208
My car's parked over there.

863
00:47:16,292 --> 00:47:17,709
This is ridiculous.

864
00:47:17,793 --> 00:47:19,836
You're only a few feet away.

865
00:47:19,921 --> 00:47:21,880
Will you follow me?
Follow me.

866
00:47:21,964 --> 00:47:23,423
You're acting like a child.

867
00:47:23,508 --> 00:47:26,134
The older you get,
the sillier you get.

868
00:47:26,219 --> 00:47:28,345
The older you get,
the uglier you get.

869
00:47:49,450 --> 00:47:50,992
And last, but never least,

870
00:47:51,077 --> 00:47:54,037
Santa's most beautiful helper,

871
00:47:54,121 --> 00:47:56,039
this year's
Miss Merry Christmas,

872
00:47:56,123 --> 00:47:58,708
Nancy Beth Marmillion!

873
00:48:05,841 --> 00:48:08,426
Get it while the getting's good!

874
00:48:08,511 --> 00:48:09,970
Best food in Louisiana!

875
00:48:10,054 --> 00:48:13,557
Blood, sweat, and tears
go in every little bowlful.

876
00:48:13,641 --> 00:48:14,641
Right, boys?

877
00:48:14,725 --> 00:48:16,476
That's right, Truvy.

878
00:48:17,812 --> 00:48:19,729
1, 2, 3, 4...

879
00:48:19,814 --> 00:48:21,273
Shelby!

880
00:48:21,357 --> 00:48:23,817
Well, get your little
country butt over here.

881
00:48:23,901 --> 00:48:28,280
Were you trying to sneak by us without
buying some of our jumbo shrimp?

882
00:48:28,364 --> 00:48:30,407
They're hot and spicy,
just like Annelle.

883
00:48:30,491 --> 00:48:32,158
Truvy, stop.

884
00:48:32,243 --> 00:48:33,577
You should try one.

885
00:48:33,661 --> 00:48:35,495
We've already
pulled their heads off.

886
00:48:35,580 --> 00:48:37,998
No, I'm just killing time.

887
00:48:38,082 --> 00:48:40,750
Jackson's found a firearm.
We may never see him again.

888
00:48:40,835 --> 00:48:43,712
How about a glass of iced tea?
It's the house wine of the South.

889
00:48:43,796 --> 00:48:44,879
Perfect.

890
00:48:44,964 --> 00:48:46,423
Oh, coming up.

891
00:48:46,507 --> 00:48:47,924
Bet your mama's happy

892
00:48:48,009 --> 00:48:50,594
you got home in time
for the festival.

893
00:48:50,678 --> 00:48:52,846
I wouldn't miss the festival.
How's your family?

894
00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:56,016
Oh, fine.
Spud's as outgoing as ever.

895
00:48:56,100 --> 00:48:58,143
Louie brought
his girlfriend home,

896
00:48:58,227 --> 00:49:01,062
and the nicest thing
I can say about her

897
00:49:01,147 --> 00:49:02,981
is all her tattoos
are spelled correctly.

898
00:49:03,065 --> 00:49:04,441
Oh, Truvy.

899
00:49:04,525 --> 00:49:06,318
Get your money away.

900
00:49:06,402 --> 00:49:07,611
Thanks.

901
00:49:07,695 --> 00:49:10,905
Well, my hair's not the only
thing that's changed.

902
00:49:10,990 --> 00:49:12,449
So much has happened.

903
00:49:12,533 --> 00:49:15,493
After they finally put
Bunky Dupuy behind bars

904
00:49:15,578 --> 00:49:17,495
and I was rid of him,

905
00:49:17,580 --> 00:49:19,164
I went wild.

906
00:49:19,248 --> 00:49:21,499
I was running around
drinking, smoking.

907
00:49:21,584 --> 00:49:23,460
Jezebel.

908
00:49:23,544 --> 00:49:26,338
Truvy helped me see
the error of my ways.

909
00:49:26,422 --> 00:49:28,882
She gave me a place to live.

910
00:49:28,966 --> 00:49:30,425
Now I go to church.

911
00:49:30,509 --> 00:49:33,470
I've done guest lectures on beauty
at the trade school.

912
00:49:33,554 --> 00:49:36,473
Annelle's become
one of the hottest tickets in town.

913
00:49:36,557 --> 00:49:38,600
Oh, Truvy, hush.
It's true.

914
00:49:38,684 --> 00:49:40,435
Well, I am
enjoying the city more,

915
00:49:40,519 --> 00:49:43,188
and I'm so excited about
this Christmas festival.

916
00:49:43,272 --> 00:49:46,232
There's a Messiah
sing-along tomorrow. Oh, no!

917
00:49:46,317 --> 00:49:47,817
What's the matter?

918
00:49:47,902 --> 00:49:51,488
Oh, nobody move!
My contact! Oh, no!

919
00:49:51,572 --> 00:49:52,697
Stay back!

920
00:49:52,782 --> 00:49:55,533
Wait, don't move!
Can you back up, please?

921
00:49:55,618 --> 00:49:58,453
Hello, darlings.
When did you get into town?

922
00:49:58,537 --> 00:50:01,498
This afternoon.
Here, merry Christmas.

923
00:50:01,582 --> 00:50:02,624
Thank you.

924
00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:06,336
I've been trying to show Jackson
everything. He's never been to the festival.

925
00:50:06,420 --> 00:50:09,172
Listen to the football
game tonight.

926
00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:10,840
Sure.
What are we listening for?

927
00:50:10,925 --> 00:50:13,468
Me.
Didn't your mama tell you?

928
00:50:13,552 --> 00:50:15,553
Mama never
tells anyone anything.

929
00:50:15,638 --> 00:50:18,723
I'm the color announcer
for the Devils. I'm fabulous.

930
00:50:18,808 --> 00:50:21,184
I'm just too colorful
for words.

931
00:50:21,268 --> 00:50:23,019
Nice of them to let you
talk on the radio.

932
00:50:23,104 --> 00:50:27,023
Nice, nothing.
I own the radio station.

933
00:50:27,108 --> 00:50:28,525
You bought it!

934
00:50:28,609 --> 00:50:33,738
Yes. KPPD, the station of choice
in Chinquapin Parish.

935
00:50:33,864 --> 00:50:36,658
Mrs. Belcher, we got
to go! The kickoff! Bye!

936
00:50:37,660 --> 00:50:41,579
This has been an extremely
hard-fought football game,

937
00:50:41,664 --> 00:50:44,666
considering the fact
that the Dry Prong lines

938
00:50:44,750 --> 00:50:47,877
don't seem to have the kind
of depth that Chinquapin has.

939
00:50:51,340 --> 00:50:53,258
Well?

940
00:50:54,552 --> 00:50:56,219
Nope.

941
00:50:56,303 --> 00:50:58,304
Rolly Bassett
got the contract.

942
00:50:59,140 --> 00:51:01,057
His bid was 6,000
under mine.

943
00:51:01,142 --> 00:51:02,767
6,000.

944
00:51:04,478 --> 00:51:07,397
Well, he owns all his own equipment,
and I don't.

945
00:51:10,151 --> 00:51:13,153
It's hell to be poor and hired out.

946
00:51:14,447 --> 00:51:17,365
Well, I have got some fried chicken here,
prepared by Christian women,

947
00:51:18,993 --> 00:51:20,410
a bottle of cheap wine,

948
00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:23,997
and I've arranged for some
pretty incredible fireworks.

949
00:51:26,167 --> 00:51:27,417
Oh, come on, Spud.

950
00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:29,419
I don't want to miss

951
00:51:29,503 --> 00:51:32,505
the nativity made
entirely out of sparklers.

952
00:51:32,590 --> 00:51:35,091
I don't feel much like it.

953
00:51:35,176 --> 00:51:38,178
Well, you will
once we get there.

954
00:51:39,305 --> 00:51:41,347
I'm happy where I am.

955
00:51:42,516 --> 00:51:43,725
Spud.

956
00:51:45,519 --> 00:51:47,937
We always watch
the fireworks.

957
00:51:48,022 --> 00:51:50,690
Whoa. That's the ball game.
Final score...

958
00:51:50,775 --> 00:51:53,777
This is KPPD Radio,

959
00:51:53,861 --> 00:51:56,237
station of choice
in Chinquapin Parish,

960
00:51:56,322 --> 00:52:00,200
coming to you live
from the Devils' locker room.

961
00:52:00,284 --> 00:52:05,079
This is Bark Boone with color
announcer Clairee Belcher.

962
00:52:05,164 --> 00:52:06,539
Thank you, Bark.

963
00:52:06,624 --> 00:52:10,126
You know, Bark, it's a shame
our listeners can't be here

964
00:52:10,211 --> 00:52:14,255
to see the gorgeous
new Devil uniforms.

965
00:52:14,340 --> 00:52:16,800
Uh... they're lovely.

966
00:52:16,884 --> 00:52:18,635
I would never have chosen
those white pants.

967
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:21,429
They're filthy. I would have
gone with a darker color.

968
00:52:21,514 --> 00:52:24,349
White shows everything.
Just look at those grass stains.

969
00:52:24,433 --> 00:52:26,059
Impossible to get out.

970
00:52:26,143 --> 00:52:28,478
It's hard to keep white
clean when you're tackled.

971
00:52:28,562 --> 00:52:32,106
But I love the tops,
such a vibrant purple.

972
00:52:32,191 --> 00:52:35,318
Would you call this color
grape or aubergine?

973
00:52:35,402 --> 00:52:36,820
Shut up.

974
00:52:36,904 --> 00:52:37,987
What?

975
00:52:38,072 --> 00:52:40,698
You're making a fool
out of yourself, Clairee.

976
00:52:40,783 --> 00:52:41,908
I am not.

977
00:52:41,992 --> 00:52:43,535
This is football.

978
00:52:43,619 --> 00:52:46,704
All the people want to hear about
is touchdowns and injuries.

979
00:52:46,789 --> 00:52:49,749
They don't give a damn
about that grape shit.

980
00:52:49,834 --> 00:52:53,628
We have this new psychiatrist
that comes in two days a week.

981
00:52:53,712 --> 00:52:57,173
Of course, I pick her name
out of the grab bag.

982
00:52:57,258 --> 00:53:01,094
I got to get her something.
Put that on the list.

983
00:53:01,178 --> 00:53:04,097
I have no idea
what to get your father.

984
00:53:04,181 --> 00:53:07,767
What's Jackson giving you?
Do you know?

985
00:53:07,852 --> 00:53:09,602
Furniture.

986
00:53:10,855 --> 00:53:12,689
Furniture? Well, my.

987
00:53:12,773 --> 00:53:16,860
Must be nice to be married
to a rich lawyer.

988
00:53:16,944 --> 00:53:18,945
What's it for,
the living room?

989
00:53:19,780 --> 00:53:21,781
No. For the nursery.

990
00:53:25,327 --> 00:53:27,745
We wanted to tell you

991
00:53:27,830 --> 00:53:30,039
when you and Daddy were together,
but you're never together,

992
00:53:30,124 --> 00:53:33,084
so... it's every man
for himself.

993
00:53:35,004 --> 00:53:36,462
I'm pregnant.

994
00:53:39,842 --> 00:53:40,967
I realize that.

995
00:53:44,471 --> 00:53:46,222
Well, is that it?

996
00:53:46,307 --> 00:53:48,975
Is that all you're going to say?

997
00:53:50,352 --> 00:53:52,437
What do you want me to say?

998
00:53:53,606 --> 00:53:56,149
Well, something along the lines
of "congratulations."

999
00:53:58,903 --> 00:54:00,486
Congratulations.

1000
00:54:12,708 --> 00:54:14,959
Would it be too much to ask...

1001
00:54:16,587 --> 00:54:18,671
for a little excitement?

1002
00:54:18,756 --> 00:54:21,966
Not too much. I wouldn't want
you to break a sweat or anything.

1003
00:54:27,431 --> 00:54:29,015
It's in July.

1004
00:54:33,187 --> 00:54:34,687
Oh, Mama.

1005
00:54:35,814 --> 00:54:37,690
You have to help me plan.

1006
00:54:39,902 --> 00:54:41,736
We're going to get a new house.

1007
00:54:41,820 --> 00:54:44,781
Jackson and I are going
house hunting next week.

1008
00:54:44,865 --> 00:54:46,950
Jackson loves to hunt
for anything.

1009
00:54:47,034 --> 00:54:49,285
What does Jackson say
about all this?

1010
00:54:49,370 --> 00:54:50,995
He's so excited.

1011
00:54:52,206 --> 00:54:54,415
He says he doesn't care
whether it's a boy or a girl,

1012
00:54:54,500 --> 00:54:58,503
but I know he really wants a son
so bad he can taste it.

1013
00:55:00,047 --> 00:55:04,342
He's really cute about the whole thing. It's
all he talks about... Jackson Latcherie, Jr.

1014
00:55:04,426 --> 00:55:05,802
Does he ever listen?

1015
00:55:05,886 --> 00:55:09,180
I mean, when doctors and
specialists give you advice,

1016
00:55:09,264 --> 00:55:10,682
does he listen?

1017
00:55:10,766 --> 00:55:12,725
I know you never do.
Does he?

1018
00:55:15,354 --> 00:55:16,729
Huh?

1019
00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:19,065
What?

1020
00:55:20,567 --> 00:55:23,653
Well, I guess since
he doesn't have to carry the baby,

1021
00:55:23,737 --> 00:55:25,989
it really isn't any of his concern.

1022
00:55:26,073 --> 00:55:27,448
Mama.

1023
00:55:28,993 --> 00:55:31,494
I want a child.

1024
00:55:31,578 --> 00:55:34,789
What about adoption?
You filled out all the applications.

1025
00:55:34,873 --> 00:55:37,458
Mama, no judge
is going to give a baby

1026
00:55:37,543 --> 00:55:40,420
to someone
with my medical record.

1027
00:55:41,797 --> 00:55:44,465
Jackson even put out feelers
about buying one.

1028
00:55:44,550 --> 00:55:46,384
People do it all the time.

1029
00:55:48,971 --> 00:55:50,763
Listen to me.

1030
00:55:52,683 --> 00:55:54,767
I want a child of my own.

1031
00:55:59,189 --> 00:56:02,191
I think it would help things a lot.

1032
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:13,036
I see.

1033
00:56:25,799 --> 00:56:28,092
Mama, you worry too much.

1034
00:56:29,428 --> 00:56:33,681
In fact, I never worry, 'cause I always
know you're worrying enough for both of us.

1035
00:56:39,855 --> 00:56:42,231
Jackson and I have given this
a lot of thought.

1036
00:56:42,316 --> 00:56:44,650
Has he really? There's a
first time for everything.

1037
00:56:44,735 --> 00:56:46,611
Don't start on Jackson,
Mama.

1038
00:56:46,695 --> 00:56:49,197
Your poor body has
been through so much.

1039
00:56:49,281 --> 00:56:51,157
Why deliberately
do this to yourself?

1040
00:56:51,241 --> 00:56:53,701
Diabetics have healthy
babies all the time.

1041
00:56:53,786 --> 00:56:55,161
You are special, Shelby.

1042
00:56:55,245 --> 00:56:58,289
There are limits
to what you can do.

1043
00:57:05,756 --> 00:57:07,340
I'm going to be...

1044
00:57:08,342 --> 00:57:10,176
very, very careful.

1045
00:57:11,303 --> 00:57:13,012
Nobody's going to be hurt

1046
00:57:13,097 --> 00:57:16,099
or disappointed
or even inconvenienced.

1047
00:57:16,892 --> 00:57:19,352
Least of all Jackson, I'm sure.

1048
00:57:23,524 --> 00:57:24,774
You're jealous...

1049
00:57:25,901 --> 00:57:28,611
because you no longer
have a say-so in what I do,

1050
00:57:28,695 --> 00:57:30,947
and that drives you up the wall.

1051
00:57:31,949 --> 00:57:36,452
You're ready to spit nails
because you can't call the shots.

1052
00:57:36,537 --> 00:57:41,040
I did not raise my daughter
to talk to me like this.

1053
00:57:43,043 --> 00:57:45,795
Yes, you did.
Oh, no, I didn't.

1054
00:57:45,879 --> 00:57:50,133
Whenever any of us asked you what you wanted
for us when we grew up, what did you say?

1055
00:57:50,217 --> 00:57:52,635
I'm not in the mood
to play games.

1056
00:57:52,719 --> 00:57:53,970
Just tell me what you said.

1057
00:57:54,054 --> 00:57:57,723
The only thing I have ever said to you
is that I want you to be happy.

1058
00:57:57,808 --> 00:58:01,144
Okay. The one thing that
would make me happy

1059
00:58:01,228 --> 00:58:03,813
is to have a baby.

1060
00:58:03,897 --> 00:58:07,859
If I could adopt one,
I would, but I can't.

1061
00:58:09,194 --> 00:58:11,112
I'm going to have a baby,

1062
00:58:11,196 --> 00:58:14,157
and I wish you'd be happy, too.

1063
00:58:14,241 --> 00:58:17,201
I'll tell you what I wish.

1064
00:58:18,871 --> 00:58:21,247
I don't know what I wish.

1065
00:58:24,084 --> 00:58:27,420
Mama, I don't know why you have to
make everything so difficult.

1066
00:58:29,673 --> 00:58:33,593
I look at having this baby
as the opportunity of a lifetime.

1067
00:58:33,677 --> 00:58:36,095
Sure, there may be risk involved,

1068
00:58:36,180 --> 00:58:39,098
but that's true for anybody.

1069
00:58:39,183 --> 00:58:42,268
But you get through it,
and life goes on.

1070
00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:45,229
When it's all said and done, there'll
be a little piece of immortality

1071
00:58:45,314 --> 00:58:49,150
with Jackson's good looks
and my sense of style, I hope.

1072
00:58:49,234 --> 00:58:52,820
Please.

1073
00:58:54,323 --> 00:58:56,324
I need your support.

1074
00:58:58,452 --> 00:59:01,787
I would rather have
30 minutes of wonderful

1075
00:59:01,872 --> 00:59:04,540
than a lifetime
of nothing special.

1076
00:59:21,141 --> 00:59:23,935
Okay. All right.
I'm going to hand it to you.

1077
00:59:24,019 --> 00:59:25,728
I don't want to hit you
upside the head.

1078
00:59:25,854 --> 00:59:28,814
I got one hole left.
Right.

1079
00:59:28,899 --> 00:59:30,816
Put the cords
behind the pole.

1080
00:59:30,901 --> 00:59:32,443
If they show,
it'll look tacky.

1081
00:59:32,527 --> 00:59:34,487
You told me about 40 times.

1082
00:59:37,699 --> 00:59:39,617
Annelle, did you do all this?

1083
00:59:39,701 --> 00:59:41,369
Guilty.

1084
00:59:41,453 --> 00:59:45,081
Truvy just turned over the
decoration responsibility to me.

1085
00:59:45,165 --> 00:59:47,291
Look.
I went to the fire sale

1086
00:59:47,376 --> 00:59:49,669
at the Baptist book store
in Shreveport last week.

1087
00:59:49,753 --> 00:59:53,089
They had mismatched manger scenes
at incredibly low prices.

1088
00:59:53,173 --> 00:59:55,091
I cleaned them out
of baby Jesuses,

1089
00:59:55,175 --> 00:59:57,343
which I made into ornaments.

1090
00:59:57,427 --> 00:59:58,427
She's ready to roll.

1091
00:59:58,512 --> 01:00:00,304
Would you do the honors?

1092
01:00:02,891 --> 01:00:05,768
Yeah. Here you are,
Mrs. Latcherie.

1093
01:00:05,852 --> 01:00:06,978
Thanks, Sammy.

1094
01:00:07,771 --> 01:00:09,772
Ready?

1095
01:00:13,735 --> 01:00:16,279
Annelle, it's wonderful.

1096
01:00:16,363 --> 01:00:17,697
It works!

1097
01:00:17,781 --> 01:00:20,116
How cute.

1098
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:23,661
I think your elves
have gone berserk.

1099
01:00:23,745 --> 01:00:24,662
Well, Shelby,

1100
01:00:24,746 --> 01:00:26,706
I wasn't expecting to see you.

1101
01:00:26,790 --> 01:00:28,666
What can I do for you?

1102
01:00:28,750 --> 01:00:31,210
I'm running a special
called a Christmas quickie.

1103
01:00:31,295 --> 01:00:32,670
I'm beyond help.

1104
01:00:32,754 --> 01:00:36,299
Last week I discovered
the early stages of crow's feet.

1105
01:00:36,383 --> 01:00:37,967
Honey, time marches on.

1106
01:00:38,051 --> 01:00:40,678
Eventually you realize it's
marching across your face.

1107
01:00:40,762 --> 01:00:41,721
Oh, no.

1108
01:00:41,805 --> 01:00:43,389
It's Miss Ouiser.

1109
01:00:46,810 --> 01:00:50,396
I'm supposed to give her
a pedicure today.

1110
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,356
I hate working
on her feet.

1111
01:00:52,441 --> 01:00:54,233
It could have
been worse.

1112
01:00:54,318 --> 01:00:56,819
She could have wanted
a bikini waxing.

1113
01:00:56,903 --> 01:00:58,571
Let's not get graphic.

1114
01:00:58,655 --> 01:00:59,655
Why not?

1115
01:00:59,740 --> 01:01:03,034
Miss Ouiser, I met
an old friend of yours.

1116
01:01:03,118 --> 01:01:04,076
Oh?

1117
01:01:04,161 --> 01:01:05,578
Owen Jenkins.

1118
01:01:05,662 --> 01:01:06,829
Oh.

1119
01:01:06,913 --> 01:01:10,374
Owen. Now, there's
a blast from the past.

1120
01:01:10,459 --> 01:01:11,334
Do you remember him?

1121
01:01:11,418 --> 01:01:12,877
He remembers you.

1122
01:01:12,961 --> 01:01:16,881
He had the longest nose
hair in the free world.

1123
01:01:16,965 --> 01:01:18,841
Now he hardly has
any hair anywhere.

1124
01:01:18,925 --> 01:01:21,886
Owen's been gone from Chinquapin
Parish since God was a boy.

1125
01:01:21,970 --> 01:01:23,346
I'd forgotten he'd existed.

1126
01:01:23,430 --> 01:01:26,223
He lives in Monroe and
goes to First Presbyterian.

1127
01:01:26,308 --> 01:01:29,518
He asked if I knew you.

1128
01:01:29,603 --> 01:01:31,562
He used to live
in Ohio somewhere.

1129
01:01:31,646 --> 01:01:35,024
His wife just died,
and he's moved back down here.

1130
01:01:36,735 --> 01:01:38,652
Does this story have a point?

1131
01:01:38,737 --> 01:01:41,822
No, not really. He just
remembers you fondly, I think.

1132
01:01:41,907 --> 01:01:43,866
I can't imagine why.

1133
01:01:43,950 --> 01:01:47,578
He was not a bad fellow,
but I managed to run him off

1134
01:01:47,662 --> 01:01:49,914
and marry the first
of two total deadbeats.

1135
01:01:49,998 --> 01:01:51,123
Maybe sometime
I could arrange

1136
01:01:51,208 --> 01:01:53,501
for us all
to get together.

1137
01:01:53,585 --> 01:01:54,502
Maybe not.

1138
01:01:54,586 --> 01:01:56,545
Why not?

1139
01:01:56,630 --> 01:01:58,714
Shelby, I managed
in a few decades

1140
01:01:58,799 --> 01:02:01,258
to marry the two most
worthless men in the universe

1141
01:02:01,343 --> 01:02:05,971
and then proceeded to have the three
most ungrateful children ever conceived.

1142
01:02:06,056 --> 01:02:08,224
The only reason
people are nice to me

1143
01:02:08,308 --> 01:02:10,810
is because I have
more money than God.

1144
01:02:10,894 --> 01:02:13,604
I'm not about to open
a new can of worms.

1145
01:02:13,688 --> 01:02:14,814
Ouiser.

1146
01:02:14,898 --> 01:02:16,232
What?

1147
01:02:16,316 --> 01:02:19,276
If this is how you feel,
it isn't healthy.

1148
01:02:19,361 --> 01:02:21,904
Maybe you should come
to the guidance center

1149
01:02:21,988 --> 01:02:23,823
and talk to someone.
We're there to help.

1150
01:02:23,907 --> 01:02:25,408
I'm not crazy, M'Lynn.

1151
01:02:25,492 --> 01:02:26,867
I've just been

1152
01:02:26,952 --> 01:02:30,121
in a very bad mood
for 40 years.

1153
01:02:32,124 --> 01:02:35,501
Hi.

1154
01:02:35,585 --> 01:02:36,502
Merry Christmas.

1155
01:02:36,586 --> 01:02:38,003
Oh, look at you.

1156
01:02:38,088 --> 01:02:39,505
Is that new?

1157
01:02:39,589 --> 01:02:43,008
I made the dress
with my own two hands.

1158
01:02:43,093 --> 01:02:44,969
I just threw
the rest together.

1159
01:02:45,053 --> 01:02:48,472
The only thing that
separates us from the animals

1160
01:02:48,557 --> 01:02:50,474
is our ability
to accessorize.

1161
01:02:50,559 --> 01:02:51,517
Oh.

1162
01:02:51,601 --> 01:02:53,936
Annelle,
why are you so late?

1163
01:02:54,020 --> 01:02:57,481
Did you and Sammy
get tangled up in the tinsel?

1164
01:02:57,566 --> 01:02:59,316
Truvy. You kill me.

1165
01:02:59,401 --> 01:03:00,401
Merry Christmas.

1166
01:03:00,485 --> 01:03:01,819
Oh! Thank you.

1167
01:03:01,903 --> 01:03:02,820
Merry Christmas.

1168
01:03:02,904 --> 01:03:03,863
Oh, darling.

1169
01:03:03,947 --> 01:03:06,282
I have to tell you
your nephew Marshall

1170
01:03:06,366 --> 01:03:08,784
is a little piece
of heaven on earth.

1171
01:03:08,869 --> 01:03:10,536
They're family,
and I love them,

1172
01:03:10,620 --> 01:03:13,539
but they do look carved
out of cream cheese.

1173
01:03:16,042 --> 01:03:17,960
Clairee,
I'm surprised at you

1174
01:03:18,044 --> 01:03:20,463
talking about
your kin that way.

1175
01:03:20,547 --> 01:03:22,339
Well, as somebody
always said,

1176
01:03:22,424 --> 01:03:24,717
if you can't say anything
nice about anybody,

1177
01:03:24,801 --> 01:03:26,260
come sit by me.

1178
01:03:26,344 --> 01:03:27,803
That's a good one.

1179
01:03:31,183 --> 01:03:32,141
Miss Ouiser.

1180
01:03:32,225 --> 01:03:33,100
What?

1181
01:03:33,185 --> 01:03:35,561
There's somebody that wants to see you.

1182
01:03:35,645 --> 01:03:36,562
Who?

1183
01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:39,356
I've opened the can
of worms for you.

1184
01:03:39,441 --> 01:03:40,149
What?

1185
01:03:42,235 --> 01:03:42,943
Hell.

1186
01:03:43,028 --> 01:03:44,820
Owen Jenkins.

1187
01:03:44,905 --> 01:03:47,573
Hello, Louisa.
Remember me?

1188
01:03:47,657 --> 01:03:51,327
My God, you look different.
Have you shrunk?

1189
01:03:53,121 --> 01:03:54,997
You look terrific.

1190
01:03:55,081 --> 01:03:56,916
You've hardly
changed at all.

1191
01:03:57,709 --> 01:03:59,835
I'm not as sweet
as I used to be.

1192
01:04:10,931 --> 01:04:13,057
I cannot believe
Shelby did that.

1193
01:04:13,141 --> 01:04:14,350
Owen...

1194
01:04:14,434 --> 01:04:16,310
After all these years.

1195
01:04:16,394 --> 01:04:18,979
I'm not sure I can be
gracious under pressure.

1196
01:04:19,064 --> 01:04:22,441
Shelby does a lot of
things I can't believe.

1197
01:04:22,526 --> 01:04:24,527
M'Lynn, what's wrong
with you these days?

1198
01:04:24,611 --> 01:04:26,612
You got a reindeer
up your butt?

1199
01:04:26,696 --> 01:04:29,698
Everybody! Tommy,
get all these people outside.

1200
01:04:29,783 --> 01:04:31,700
Come on, everybody.

1201
01:04:31,785 --> 01:04:33,577
My dad's going
to say something.

1202
01:04:34,621 --> 01:04:38,040
I just want a moment
of your time, folks, now.

1203
01:04:40,043 --> 01:04:42,586
Today my daughter...

1204
01:04:42,671 --> 01:04:44,171
told me a big secret.

1205
01:04:44,256 --> 01:04:45,422
Daddy.

1206
01:04:45,507 --> 01:04:48,509
Don't worry. I'm not going
to tell them you're pregnant.

1207
01:04:48,593 --> 01:04:51,762
Oh! Oh! Oh!

1208
01:04:51,846 --> 01:04:54,890
I'm just going to tell them
I'm going to be a granddaddy.

1209
01:04:54,975 --> 01:04:57,768
Oh. That's wonderful.

1210
01:05:04,568 --> 01:05:05,484
Oh, Grandma!

1211
01:05:05,569 --> 01:05:07,278
Congratulations.

1212
01:05:07,362 --> 01:05:09,572
Well, ain't you excited?

1213
01:05:09,656 --> 01:05:12,074
Smile. It increases
your face value.

1214
01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:15,077
And the doctor said Shelby
couldn't have children.

1215
01:05:15,161 --> 01:05:17,496
Yeah. What do they know?
She showed them.

1216
01:05:17,581 --> 01:05:20,374
They said she shouldn't
have children.

1217
01:05:20,458 --> 01:05:21,667
There's a big difference.

1218
01:05:22,669 --> 01:05:26,505
This baby is not exactly great news.

1219
01:05:26,590 --> 01:05:27,339
Jackson and Shelby.

1220
01:05:32,345 --> 01:05:35,014
Oh, M'Lynn, I really wish

1221
01:05:35,098 --> 01:05:38,851
I had some words of wisdom,
but I don't.

1222
01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:42,271
Why don't we focus on
the joy of the situation?

1223
01:05:42,355 --> 01:05:44,273
It'll be fine.

1224
01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:46,066
Absolutely.

1225
01:05:48,111 --> 01:05:49,945
You know what they say...

1226
01:05:50,030 --> 01:05:53,532
That which does not kill us
makes us stronger.

1227
01:06:01,374 --> 01:06:04,627
Nothing pleases Shelby more
than proving me wrong.

1228
01:06:13,303 --> 01:06:15,804
Oh, and to
my new grandbaby...

1229
01:06:15,889 --> 01:06:19,725
May he be as
good-looking as I am.

1230
01:06:44,626 --> 01:06:45,459
Whoo!

1231
01:06:45,543 --> 01:06:48,504
Go ahead.
Blow it out, buddy.

1232
01:06:48,588 --> 01:06:50,839
This is boring as hell.

1233
01:06:50,924 --> 01:06:52,883
You only have your
first birthday once.

1234
01:06:52,967 --> 01:06:54,593
Little buddy's
making a wish.

1235
01:06:54,678 --> 01:06:56,804
I wish he'd just
blow out the candle.

1236
01:06:56,888 --> 01:06:58,514
I can't stand this.

1237
01:06:58,598 --> 01:07:00,599
Don't you dare.

1238
01:07:00,684 --> 01:07:02,226
Come on.
Look. Look.

1239
01:07:02,310 --> 01:07:03,686
Here we go.

1240
01:07:03,770 --> 01:07:05,270
1... 2... 3...

1241
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:09,525
Yay.
Yay.

1242
01:07:09,609 --> 01:07:10,901
Happy birthday.

1243
01:07:12,862 --> 01:07:16,240
I'll be back from Truvy's
in about an hour.

1244
01:07:16,324 --> 01:07:17,700
Anything you want?

1245
01:07:17,784 --> 01:07:20,202
I think I'll come with you.

1246
01:07:20,286 --> 01:07:22,705
I want to get my hair cut.

1247
01:07:22,789 --> 01:07:25,207
Short.
And I want Truvy to do it.

1248
01:07:25,291 --> 01:07:27,710
It's easier to take care of.

1249
01:07:27,794 --> 01:07:31,755
I'd love to be able to run my fingers
through it and go.

1250
01:07:31,840 --> 01:07:33,716
I think that
would be precious.

1251
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:38,220
I feel the need to make things
as simple as possible.

1252
01:07:38,304 --> 01:07:40,347
Let me go tell Jackson.

1253
01:07:49,441 --> 01:07:50,524
Shelby.

1254
01:07:50,608 --> 01:07:53,902
Shelby, I just can't
seem to find the wipes.

1255
01:07:53,987 --> 01:07:56,530
They're in my bag.
Is he wet?

1256
01:07:56,614 --> 01:07:57,573
He's muddy.

1257
01:07:57,657 --> 01:07:59,908
Miss Clairee,
finish about your nephew.

1258
01:07:59,993 --> 01:08:01,869
Get to the good stuff.

1259
01:08:01,953 --> 01:08:03,412
Well, I have to admit,

1260
01:08:03,496 --> 01:08:06,373
Marshall did go about it
the wrong way.

1261
01:08:06,458 --> 01:08:07,833
He marched in,

1262
01:08:07,917 --> 01:08:11,336
and without so much
as a hello, he said,

1263
01:08:11,421 --> 01:08:14,506
"Mama and Daddy,
I have something to tell you.

1264
01:08:14,591 --> 01:08:16,508
"I have a brain tumor.

1265
01:08:16,593 --> 01:08:18,510
I have three months to live."

1266
01:08:18,595 --> 01:08:21,430
Well, naturally,
Drew and Belle became hysterical.

1267
01:08:21,514 --> 01:08:24,516
Then he said,
"Hey, folks, I'm only kidding.

1268
01:08:24,601 --> 01:08:26,477
I'm just gay."

1269
01:08:26,561 --> 01:08:29,980
That was his idea of
breaking the news gently?

1270
01:08:30,064 --> 01:08:31,982
Marshall was always
very theatrical.

1271
01:08:32,066 --> 01:08:35,778
I wonder what Drew and Belle
must be feeling about this.

1272
01:08:35,862 --> 01:08:37,613
I don't know.

1273
01:08:37,697 --> 01:08:41,617
They have considered themselves
a model family for so long.

1274
01:08:41,701 --> 01:08:42,785
First Nancy Beth
dethroned

1275
01:08:42,869 --> 01:08:45,120
from her
Miss Merry Christmas title

1276
01:08:45,205 --> 01:08:48,207
because of that
unfortunate motel thing.

1277
01:08:48,291 --> 01:08:51,460
What motel thing? I don't
live here anymore. Remember?

1278
01:08:51,544 --> 01:08:54,797
Nancy Beth was discovered
in a local motel

1279
01:08:54,881 --> 01:08:56,882
with a high political official.

1280
01:08:56,966 --> 01:08:58,592
They were both high.

1281
01:08:58,676 --> 01:09:00,969
They'd been smoking
everything but their shoes.

1282
01:09:01,054 --> 01:09:03,806
She's the first Miss
Merry Christmas in history

1283
01:09:03,890 --> 01:09:06,975
to be caught with her tinsel
down around her knees.

1284
01:09:07,060 --> 01:09:11,855
Well, speaking of drawers,
hang on to yours.

1285
01:09:11,940 --> 01:09:12,815
Ta-da!

1286
01:09:25,328 --> 01:09:26,829
Oh, gosh.

1287
01:09:26,913 --> 01:09:28,997
Oh, you don't like it.

1288
01:09:29,082 --> 01:09:31,583
I did what you asked me,
didn't I?

1289
01:09:31,668 --> 01:09:33,585
Yes, Truvy,
you did a beautiful job.

1290
01:09:35,213 --> 01:09:36,922
Well, it's just that...

1291
01:09:38,383 --> 01:09:39,758
Oh, sweetheart, don't.

1292
01:09:39,843 --> 01:09:42,261
Please don't cry,
or I will, too.

1293
01:09:42,345 --> 01:09:44,221
I have a strict policy

1294
01:09:44,305 --> 01:09:46,682
that nobody cries alone
in my presence.

1295
01:09:46,766 --> 01:09:48,600
I love it.

1296
01:09:51,521 --> 01:09:52,521
Yeah.

1297
01:09:58,570 --> 01:09:59,862
Okay.

1298
01:10:01,573 --> 01:10:05,617
Well, now, Truvy,
let's do my nails.

1299
01:10:05,702 --> 01:10:07,119
This is a treat.

1300
01:10:07,203 --> 01:10:09,538
Nobody around here
ever wants a manicure.

1301
01:10:09,622 --> 01:10:13,542
I don't think I would even know what
to charge for a full day's beauty.

1302
01:10:13,626 --> 01:10:15,294
I'll need one, too.

1303
01:10:15,378 --> 01:10:17,296
I'm going to paint
my front door red

1304
01:10:17,380 --> 01:10:19,965
and change my name
to Elizabeth Arden.

1305
01:10:22,135 --> 01:10:25,679
Amen.

1306
01:10:27,223 --> 01:10:29,391
Annelle, I'm going to
need more cuticle oil.

1307
01:10:29,475 --> 01:10:30,601
Is it still next...

1308
01:10:30,685 --> 01:10:31,894
Second shelf.

1309
01:10:33,396 --> 01:10:34,396
Was she praying?

1310
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:35,772
Yes.

1311
01:10:35,857 --> 01:10:36,607
Why?

1312
01:10:36,691 --> 01:10:40,152
Got me. Maybe she was praying
for Marshall and Drew and Belle.

1313
01:10:40,236 --> 01:10:43,572
Maybe for us
'cause we were gossiping.

1314
01:10:43,656 --> 01:10:46,241
Maybe because the elastic's
shot in her panty hose.

1315
01:10:46,326 --> 01:10:49,077
She's prays at the drop
of a hat these days.

1316
01:10:49,162 --> 01:10:50,579
How long has she
been this way?

1317
01:10:50,663 --> 01:10:51,705
Since Mardi Gras.

1318
01:10:51,789 --> 01:10:55,709
She had her choice of
going to a Bible weekend

1319
01:10:55,793 --> 01:10:59,296
or to New Orleans with me
and two other sinners.

1320
01:10:59,380 --> 01:11:01,048
What does her boyfriend say?

1321
01:11:01,132 --> 01:11:02,841
Sammy's so confused,
he don't know whether

1322
01:11:02,926 --> 01:11:05,844
to scratch his watch
or wind his butt.

1323
01:11:05,929 --> 01:11:08,430
He says he could deal
with another man,

1324
01:11:08,514 --> 01:11:13,602
but he's having trouble with the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

1325
01:11:13,686 --> 01:11:14,853
Ahem.

1326
01:11:14,938 --> 01:11:18,982
Oh, well, does Marshall
have, you know, friends?

1327
01:11:19,067 --> 01:11:21,109
Well, we discussed that.

1328
01:11:21,194 --> 01:11:24,112
I asked him how he...
met people.

1329
01:11:24,197 --> 01:11:26,114
In my day you could tell

1330
01:11:26,199 --> 01:11:28,116
by a man's carriage
and demeanor

1331
01:11:28,201 --> 01:11:30,619
which side his bread
was buttered on,

1332
01:11:30,703 --> 01:11:33,121
but in this day and age,
who knows?

1333
01:11:33,206 --> 01:11:36,124
I asked Marshall,
"How can you tell?"

1334
01:11:36,209 --> 01:11:39,169
And he said,
"All gay men have track lighting,

1335
01:11:39,253 --> 01:11:40,629
"and all gay men

1336
01:11:40,713 --> 01:11:43,799
are named
Mark, Rick or Steve."

1337
01:11:43,883 --> 01:11:46,802
Be a soft-spoken dog.

1338
01:11:46,886 --> 01:11:48,136
Morning.

1339
01:11:48,221 --> 01:11:51,139
What's so funny in there?

1340
01:11:51,224 --> 01:11:54,184
Clairee's just been telling us
this true story of track lighting.

1341
01:11:54,268 --> 01:11:55,894
Oh, I love mine.

1342
01:11:57,397 --> 01:11:58,981
Highlights my new art work.

1343
01:11:59,065 --> 01:12:02,150
Since when do you
have track lighting?

1344
01:12:02,235 --> 01:12:03,694
About three weeks.

1345
01:12:03,778 --> 01:12:07,239
It's in the foyer
up the staircase.

1346
01:12:07,323 --> 01:12:09,157
My grandson's idea.

1347
01:12:09,242 --> 01:12:10,742
I haven't seen him in ages.

1348
01:12:10,827 --> 01:12:12,494
How is he?

1349
01:12:12,578 --> 01:12:13,662
Steve's fine.

1350
01:12:16,582 --> 01:12:17,749
Shelby.

1351
01:12:17,834 --> 01:12:21,503
Oh, God.
Your hair is so short.

1352
01:12:21,587 --> 01:12:24,506
Why are you in such a good mood?

1353
01:12:24,590 --> 01:12:27,342
Did you run over
a small child or something?

1354
01:12:27,427 --> 01:12:28,510
Tomatoes.

1355
01:12:28,594 --> 01:12:30,387
Don't give all these to me.

1356
01:12:30,471 --> 01:12:32,180
Somebody's got to take them.

1357
01:12:32,265 --> 01:12:35,976
I try not to eat healthy food
if I can possibly help it.

1358
01:12:36,060 --> 01:12:38,603
The sooner my body gives out,
the better off I'll be.

1359
01:12:38,688 --> 01:12:42,024
I can't get enough grease
into my diet.

1360
01:12:42,108 --> 01:12:43,692
Why do you grow them?

1361
01:12:43,776 --> 01:12:45,610
Because I'm
an old Southern woman.

1362
01:12:45,695 --> 01:12:50,657
We're supposed to wear funny-looking hats and
ugly clothes and grow vegetables in the dirt.

1363
01:12:52,285 --> 01:12:54,202
Don't ask me
those questions.

1364
01:12:54,287 --> 01:12:57,581
I don't know why.
I don't make the rules.

1365
01:13:01,127 --> 01:13:03,045
Oh, now, that's attractive,
Ouiser.

1366
01:13:06,716 --> 01:13:09,259
Hmm. Shelby.

1367
01:13:10,344 --> 01:13:12,888
Oh, honey, what have
you done to yourself?

1368
01:13:12,972 --> 01:13:14,723
It doesn't hurt.

1369
01:13:14,807 --> 01:13:17,184
M'Lynn, have you seen this?

1370
01:13:19,854 --> 01:13:21,188
Yes, I have.

1371
01:13:22,190 --> 01:13:25,233
The doctor's just trying
to strengthen my veins.

1372
01:13:25,318 --> 01:13:26,568
They're in terrible shape.

1373
01:13:26,652 --> 01:13:27,819
My God.

1374
01:13:27,904 --> 01:13:31,490
It looks like you've been
driving nails up your arms.

1375
01:13:31,574 --> 01:13:33,742
What is going on?

1376
01:13:33,826 --> 01:13:36,161
Shall we tell them, Mama?

1377
01:13:41,084 --> 01:13:44,086
Well, I guess we can't
keep it a secret any longer.

1378
01:13:45,296 --> 01:13:47,672
Shelby has been
driving nails up her arm.

1379
01:13:49,592 --> 01:13:51,426
It's my dialysis.

1380
01:13:51,511 --> 01:13:53,011
It's no big thing.

1381
01:13:55,515 --> 01:13:57,265
Don't look at me like that.

1382
01:13:57,350 --> 01:13:59,601
Having Jack, Jr. Put too
much strain on my kidneys.

1383
01:13:59,685 --> 01:14:02,479
Now they're kaput,
that's all.

1384
01:14:02,563 --> 01:14:04,648
The doctor said this
would probably happen.

1385
01:14:04,732 --> 01:14:06,233
That's all?

1386
01:14:06,317 --> 01:14:08,110
That's all, she says.

1387
01:14:08,194 --> 01:14:11,238
Do you do this dialysis forever?

1388
01:14:11,322 --> 01:14:13,532
Well, I could, I suppose,

1389
01:14:13,616 --> 01:14:16,243
but it's not real convenient
when you're trying to keep up with Jack, Jr.,

1390
01:14:16,327 --> 01:14:19,329
so I'll have a kidney transplant,
I'll be fine.

1391
01:14:19,413 --> 01:14:21,665
Is it that easy?
Sure.

1392
01:14:21,749 --> 01:14:25,127
They do three or four
a week in Shreveport.

1393
01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:29,131
They do. Our Sunday school class was
just praying for one the other day.

1394
01:14:29,215 --> 01:14:32,175
The hard part's finding
the kidney, isn't it?

1395
01:14:32,260 --> 01:14:35,679
I saw something about it on TV...
very dramatic.

1396
01:14:35,763 --> 01:14:38,682
These medical teams
fly all over the place,

1397
01:14:38,766 --> 01:14:41,726
taking hearts, kidneys,
and who knows what else.

1398
01:14:41,811 --> 01:14:42,936
What impressed me most

1399
01:14:43,020 --> 01:14:46,481
was they carry those organs
in beer coolers.

1400
01:14:46,566 --> 01:14:48,358
Stop it.

1401
01:14:48,442 --> 01:14:49,818
Those doctors take out
their six-packs,

1402
01:14:49,902 --> 01:14:53,155
throw in dry ice and a heart,
and get on a plane.

1403
01:14:53,239 --> 01:14:55,699
How long do you have to
wait for one?

1404
01:14:55,783 --> 01:14:59,244
There are people on dialysis
that have been waiting for years.

1405
01:15:00,246 --> 01:15:01,997
That must be agony.

1406
01:15:02,081 --> 01:15:04,749
Well, I suppose, but I'm lucky.

1407
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,710
I don't have to wait anymore.

1408
01:15:08,254 --> 01:15:11,089
Mama's going to give me
one of her kidneys.

1409
01:15:13,426 --> 01:15:14,759
When?

1410
01:15:14,844 --> 01:15:16,970
We check in
tomorrow morning.

1411
01:15:25,855 --> 01:15:29,357
So you better get going on my nails.

1412
01:15:29,442 --> 01:15:30,901
Annelle, I'm dripping.

1413
01:15:30,985 --> 01:15:32,068
Sorry.

1414
01:15:34,197 --> 01:15:36,156
I shouldn't have said that.

1415
01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:37,824
Said what?

1416
01:15:37,909 --> 01:15:39,284
Back at Truvy's.

1417
01:15:39,368 --> 01:15:43,788
When I said I'd be better off
when my body wears out.

1418
01:15:43,873 --> 01:15:47,292
I shouldn't have said that
in front of Shelby.

1419
01:15:47,376 --> 01:15:48,793
I didn't mean that.

1420
01:15:48,878 --> 01:15:52,172
Ouiser, nobody pays
any attention to you.

1421
01:15:52,256 --> 01:15:54,841
But I feel bad, Clairee.

1422
01:15:54,926 --> 01:15:57,052
I'm a terrible person.

1423
01:15:57,136 --> 01:15:59,137
No, you're not.

1424
01:15:59,222 --> 01:16:03,183
You'd give your dog a kidney
if he needed one.

1425
01:16:04,518 --> 01:16:05,644
Yes.

1426
01:16:13,569 --> 01:16:15,987
Clairee,
this is just a gesture.

1427
01:16:16,072 --> 01:16:19,532
We're not feeding Drum
till the end of time.

1428
01:16:19,617 --> 01:16:23,536
Drum loves pork and beans.
He eats them with everything.

1429
01:16:23,621 --> 01:16:25,330
That explains a lot.

1430
01:16:26,540 --> 01:16:30,335
You're supposed to
soak the red beans overnight.

1431
01:16:30,419 --> 01:16:32,963
But we don't have overnight.

1432
01:16:33,047 --> 01:16:36,383
I wanted to take it to them
before they leave for the hospital.

1433
01:16:36,467 --> 01:16:38,301
Let's cook something else.

1434
01:16:38,386 --> 01:16:39,970
I bought all the stuff.

1435
01:16:40,054 --> 01:16:42,514
It's in the "Freezes Beautifully"
section of my cookbook.

1436
01:16:42,598 --> 01:16:45,267
I want to take something
that freezes beautifully.

1437
01:16:45,351 --> 01:16:47,894
Then we'll make
red beans and rice.

1438
01:16:52,149 --> 01:16:55,193
Sammy Dwayne DeSoto,
what is this in my Frigidaire?

1439
01:16:57,196 --> 01:16:58,697
Beer.

1440
01:17:00,866 --> 01:17:02,951
I don't care what you do
in your refrigerator,

1441
01:17:03,035 --> 01:17:05,704
but you will not
keep liquor in mine.

1442
01:17:08,207 --> 01:17:11,876
Oh, Annelle, for Christ's sakes.

1443
01:17:11,961 --> 01:17:13,753
Who?

1444
01:17:13,838 --> 01:17:15,338
Christ.

1445
01:17:16,716 --> 01:17:18,091
Who did you say?

1446
01:17:18,175 --> 01:17:20,135
Christ, Christ, Christ.

1447
01:17:20,219 --> 01:17:22,262
Are you speaking of Our Lord?

1448
01:17:22,346 --> 01:17:24,264
Is that whose name
you're taking in vain?

1449
01:17:24,348 --> 01:17:26,141
That's the one.

1450
01:17:26,225 --> 01:17:28,601
Well, I am sorry, Sammy,

1451
01:17:28,686 --> 01:17:31,271
but I'm not about spend
the next 50 years of my life

1452
01:17:31,355 --> 01:17:34,190
with someone who I'm not gonna
run into in the hereafter.

1453
01:17:34,275 --> 01:17:36,151
Annelle, goddamn it!

1454
01:17:36,235 --> 01:17:38,737
I think we should pray.

1455
01:17:38,821 --> 01:17:40,864
Oh, I'd rather eat dirt.

1456
01:17:43,242 --> 01:17:45,869
Shelby says her half
of the operation's easy.

1457
01:17:45,953 --> 01:17:47,912
I guess M'Lynn's is terrible.

1458
01:17:47,997 --> 01:17:50,957
They basically have
to saw her in half

1459
01:17:51,042 --> 01:17:52,959
to get the kidney out.

1460
01:17:53,044 --> 01:17:56,963
Well, they always do it
on Circus of the Stars.

1461
01:17:57,048 --> 01:17:59,007
Don't joke about it, Spud.

1462
01:17:59,091 --> 01:18:01,301
I feel awful for 'em.

1463
01:18:01,385 --> 01:18:02,969
Yeah, well.

1464
01:18:05,097 --> 01:18:07,557
I guess the Eatentons
are lucky.

1465
01:18:07,641 --> 01:18:11,561
They all know how much
they mean to each other.

1466
01:18:11,645 --> 01:18:13,021
Maybe I'm jealous.

1467
01:18:13,105 --> 01:18:16,024
Hand me that socket wrench,
would you?

1468
01:18:16,108 --> 01:18:18,068
Which one's a socket wrench?

1469
01:18:18,152 --> 01:18:20,904
The socket wrench,
the socket wrench.

1470
01:18:20,988 --> 01:18:22,072
This funny-looking thing?

1471
01:18:22,156 --> 01:18:23,156
Thank you.

1472
01:18:31,457 --> 01:18:32,874
That's not funny.

1473
01:18:32,958 --> 01:18:34,876
Okay, no more transplant jokes.

1474
01:18:34,960 --> 01:18:36,419
Daddy doesn't like them.

1475
01:18:36,504 --> 01:18:37,879
Whose turn is it?

1476
01:18:37,963 --> 01:18:39,214
Oh, Mama.

1477
01:18:39,298 --> 01:18:40,548
Oh, yes?

1478
01:18:40,633 --> 01:18:42,050
Give me all your...

1479
01:18:42,134 --> 01:18:43,927
internal organs.

1480
01:18:44,011 --> 01:18:46,179
Oh, I mean aces.

1481
01:18:46,263 --> 01:18:48,515
Gosh, Dad, I-I'm sorry.

1482
01:18:48,599 --> 01:18:49,516
Yeah.

1483
01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:51,017
It just slipped out.

1484
01:18:51,102 --> 01:18:52,060
Go fish.

1485
01:18:52,144 --> 01:18:54,938
I'm going to put
this little one to bed.

1486
01:18:55,022 --> 01:18:56,523
Mama, I'll do it.

1487
01:18:56,607 --> 01:18:58,066
No, no, no. Let me.

1488
01:18:58,150 --> 01:19:01,486
After tomorrow it'll be a long
time before I can pick him up again.

1489
01:19:01,570 --> 01:19:03,488
So much for the card game.

1490
01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:04,447
Movie!
Movie!

1491
01:19:04,532 --> 01:19:06,491
It's old,
in black and white.

1492
01:19:06,575 --> 01:19:07,951
Nothing dirty there.

1493
01:19:08,035 --> 01:19:09,994
I got it, a classic...

1494
01:19:10,079 --> 01:19:12,080
A Tale of Two Kidneys.

1495
01:19:13,165 --> 01:19:14,082
That's funny.

1496
01:19:14,166 --> 01:19:15,417
You think that's funny?

1497
01:19:15,501 --> 01:19:16,418
Yes.

1498
01:19:16,502 --> 01:19:17,919
That's not funny.

1499
01:19:18,003 --> 01:19:19,003
Oh.

1500
01:19:20,172 --> 01:19:23,091
I overslept 'cause I was
up late cooking.

1501
01:19:23,175 --> 01:19:26,594
I've got to get these beans
to the Eatentons,

1502
01:19:26,679 --> 01:19:29,597
and it's my Sunday
to count the offering.

1503
01:19:29,682 --> 01:19:31,599
I just know I'm gonna miss church.

1504
01:19:31,684 --> 01:19:34,602
Cool down.
I'll have to turn the hose on you.

1505
01:19:34,687 --> 01:19:36,604
I don't know what
I'm gonna do.

1506
01:19:36,689 --> 01:19:39,941
Well, I know what you're gonna do.
You are gonna get in this car.

1507
01:19:40,025 --> 01:19:44,154
We're going to drop those beans off
at the Eatenton house.

1508
01:19:44,238 --> 01:19:46,656
Then you are going
to church with me.

1509
01:19:46,740 --> 01:19:48,783
Oh, I don't know.

1510
01:19:48,868 --> 01:19:51,494
God don't care
which church you go to,

1511
01:19:51,579 --> 01:19:53,455
long as you show up.

1512
01:20:35,581 --> 01:20:37,999
Ouiser, what brings you here?

1513
01:20:38,083 --> 01:20:39,083
Shut up.

1514
01:20:39,168 --> 01:20:43,129
I was wondering how things
were with you and Owen.

1515
01:20:43,214 --> 01:20:47,217
I can report that
the Sherwood Florist delivery truck

1516
01:20:47,301 --> 01:20:50,178
stops by her house
twice a week.

1517
01:20:50,262 --> 01:20:52,680
He knows I like
fresh flowers.

1518
01:20:52,765 --> 01:20:56,184
And I can report
that a strange car

1519
01:20:56,268 --> 01:20:59,187
is parked in her garage
once a week.

1520
01:20:59,271 --> 01:21:01,022
There.

1521
01:21:01,106 --> 01:21:02,774
My secret is out.

1522
01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:06,528
I am having an affair
with a Mercedes-Benz.

1523
01:21:06,612 --> 01:21:09,405
We are in
the house of the Lord.

1524
01:21:09,490 --> 01:21:11,533
Oh, a lot she cares.

1525
01:21:11,617 --> 01:21:14,869
Ouiser never done
a religious thing in her life.

1526
01:21:14,954 --> 01:21:17,413
Now, that is not true.

1527
01:21:17,498 --> 01:21:21,251
When I was in school,
my friends and I would dress up as nuns

1528
01:21:21,335 --> 01:21:23,920
and go bar-hopping.

1529
01:21:25,089 --> 01:21:29,384
Uh, Ouiser, forgive me, but I
just been dying to ask you this.

1530
01:21:29,468 --> 01:21:32,387
Have you and Owen,
you know, um...

1531
01:21:32,471 --> 01:21:36,391
Wait. I have to get
a mental picture of this.

1532
01:21:36,475 --> 01:21:39,811
A dirty mind is a
terrible thing to waste.

1533
01:21:39,895 --> 01:21:41,020
Well?

1534
01:21:41,105 --> 01:21:44,440
Not that this is any of
anyone else's business,

1535
01:21:44,525 --> 01:21:45,900
but no, we're friends.

1536
01:21:45,985 --> 01:21:48,903
He would like more,
and I'm dealing with that.

1537
01:21:48,988 --> 01:21:51,573
I'm old and set in my ways.

1538
01:21:51,657 --> 01:21:53,950
You are playing hard to get.

1539
01:21:54,034 --> 01:21:56,995
At her age, she should
be playing Beat the Clock.

1540
01:21:57,079 --> 01:21:59,539
Miss DeLore,
is 240 on Telemetry?

1541
01:21:59,623 --> 01:22:01,249
Yes, he is.

1542
01:22:01,333 --> 01:22:02,417
Thank you.

1543
01:22:04,837 --> 01:22:06,254
May I help you?

1544
01:22:06,338 --> 01:22:09,257
I need somebody
to fix my I.V., please.

1545
01:22:09,341 --> 01:22:11,759
Someone will be there
in a minute.

1546
01:22:11,844 --> 01:22:14,262
Wendy,
can you check 240's I.V?

1547
01:22:14,346 --> 01:22:15,388
Sure.

1548
01:22:22,855 --> 01:22:27,108
Rodriguez, dial 7-4.
Dr. Rodriguez, dial 7-4, please.

1549
01:22:55,346 --> 01:22:58,222
I really do. I think
that despite everything,

1550
01:22:58,307 --> 01:23:00,725
we have
a very good result.

1551
01:23:05,064 --> 01:23:06,356
Looks good.

1552
01:23:06,440 --> 01:23:09,025
Looks real, real good.

1553
01:23:11,904 --> 01:23:13,529
Thanks.

1554
01:23:33,634 --> 01:23:36,594
Surprise!

1555
01:23:36,679 --> 01:23:39,180
Oh, Truvy,
I can't believe this!

1556
01:23:39,264 --> 01:23:42,183
I have always wanted to
give a wedding shower

1557
01:23:42,267 --> 01:23:43,685
with a monster motif.

1558
01:23:43,769 --> 01:23:47,188
That's what you get
for getting married on Halloween.

1559
01:23:47,272 --> 01:23:48,231
My heart!

1560
01:23:48,315 --> 01:23:50,024
Let's open the gifts.

1561
01:23:50,109 --> 01:23:52,068
You're welcome. Next.

1562
01:23:52,152 --> 01:23:54,362
M'Lynn, appliqué.

1563
01:23:54,446 --> 01:23:57,031
With some little
fringe on them.

1564
01:23:57,116 --> 01:23:57,865
Fringe, yes.

1565
01:23:57,950 --> 01:23:59,534
Quiet down. Quiet down.

1566
01:23:59,618 --> 01:24:02,453
It says,
"Better late than never."

1567
01:24:02,538 --> 01:24:04,163
Whoo!

1568
01:24:04,248 --> 01:24:06,374
Look out, Sammy!

1569
01:24:06,458 --> 01:24:07,834
Who's that from?

1570
01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:10,378
It's not signed.
Let me see.

1571
01:24:11,964 --> 01:24:13,131
Ouiser.

1572
01:24:13,215 --> 01:24:14,716
What?

1573
01:24:14,800 --> 01:24:17,135
I'd recognize
this penmanship anywhere.

1574
01:24:17,219 --> 01:24:20,096
You have the handwriting
of a serial killer.

1575
01:24:20,180 --> 01:24:24,225
I thought Sammy wouldn't mind
you reading the Bible in bed,

1576
01:24:24,309 --> 01:24:27,145
as long as you were wearing
something inspirational.

1577
01:24:27,229 --> 01:24:28,062
Yuk, yuk, yuk.

1578
01:24:28,147 --> 01:24:30,189
Put down "split crotch."

1579
01:24:30,274 --> 01:24:31,733
This is from Shelby.

1580
01:24:31,817 --> 01:24:32,900
That's disgusting.

1581
01:24:32,985 --> 01:24:36,320
She's sorry she couldn't be here.
She's on duty.

1582
01:24:36,405 --> 01:24:37,321
How is she?

1583
01:24:37,406 --> 01:24:38,281
Fine.

1584
01:24:38,365 --> 01:24:41,325
I fed Baby Renz
but not Alex, okay?

1585
01:24:41,410 --> 01:24:42,368
Oh, okay.

1586
01:24:42,453 --> 01:24:43,870
Gotta get home now
for Halloween.

1587
01:24:43,954 --> 01:24:45,329
Have a good evening.

1588
01:24:45,414 --> 01:24:47,331
Shelby, this is too cute.

1589
01:24:47,416 --> 01:24:49,333
Where did you find this?

1590
01:24:49,418 --> 01:24:50,835
Aunt Fern made it.

1591
01:24:50,919 --> 01:24:53,337
I can't wait to get home
and try it on Jack.

1592
01:24:53,422 --> 01:24:56,007
I taught him to say
"trick or treat" or something...

1593
01:24:57,468 --> 01:24:59,343
something kind of like it.

1594
01:24:59,428 --> 01:25:02,388
Could you hand me that bag,
Pam?

1595
01:25:06,518 --> 01:25:07,935
Thanks.
Good night.

1596
01:25:08,020 --> 01:25:09,061
Good night.

1597
01:25:11,899 --> 01:25:13,024
Here you go.

1598
01:25:13,150 --> 01:25:16,986
Thank you. And if this don't work on my
husband, maybe you can come back later.

1599
01:25:17,070 --> 01:25:18,571
See you.

1600
01:25:18,655 --> 01:25:21,282
Hmm. Looks like somebody's
husband's coming home tonight.

1601
01:25:21,366 --> 01:25:25,411
When you work a seven-day
stretch on an offshore oil rig,

1602
01:25:25,496 --> 01:25:28,873
all you wanna do
on your day off is sleep.

1603
01:25:28,957 --> 01:25:31,793
I'll do everything
I can to keep him up.

1604
01:25:31,877 --> 01:25:34,295
Anne Boleyn
had six fingers.

1605
01:25:34,379 --> 01:25:36,005
Who's Anne Berlin?

1606
01:25:36,089 --> 01:25:40,551
Anne Boleyn. She was one of
the six wives of Henry VIII.

1607
01:25:40,636 --> 01:25:43,471
Oh, well, I never
watch public television.

1608
01:25:43,555 --> 01:25:46,140
She had six fingers.

1609
01:25:46,225 --> 01:25:48,643
What happened
to the other four?

1610
01:25:48,727 --> 01:25:50,686
She had 11 total.

1611
01:25:51,814 --> 01:25:54,899
Are you trying to
confuse me, Clairee?

1612
01:25:54,983 --> 01:25:56,150
No.

1613
01:25:56,235 --> 01:25:59,320
I just want to expose us
to more culture.

1614
01:25:59,404 --> 01:26:04,242
That's not easy to come by
in this neck of the woods.

1615
01:26:04,326 --> 01:26:08,287
Ouiser, how about taking
a theater trip to New York?

1616
01:26:08,372 --> 01:26:11,290
I don't want to expose
myself to anything.

1617
01:26:11,375 --> 01:26:13,251
You should broaden
your horizons.

1618
01:26:13,335 --> 01:26:15,753
You broaden
your horizons your way,

1619
01:26:15,838 --> 01:26:17,797
I'll broaden my horizons mine.

1620
01:26:17,881 --> 01:26:20,508
I'm going to support
the arts in this area.

1621
01:26:20,592 --> 01:26:24,011
I'll write a check. I support art.
I just don't have to see it.

1622
01:26:24,096 --> 01:26:25,346
It wouldn't harelip you.

1623
01:26:25,430 --> 01:26:28,641
Clairee, can I get one thing
straight with you?

1624
01:26:28,725 --> 01:26:30,142
I do not see plays

1625
01:26:30,227 --> 01:26:32,979
because I can nap at home
for free.

1626
01:26:33,105 --> 01:26:37,692
I don't see movies because they're trash and
they got nothing but naked people in them.

1627
01:26:37,776 --> 01:26:41,529
I don't read books 'cause the
good ones are made into miniseries.

1628
01:26:41,613 --> 01:26:42,947
You know,

1629
01:26:43,031 --> 01:26:46,284
you would be a much more
contented, pleasant person

1630
01:26:46,368 --> 01:26:49,620
if you would find ways
to occupy your time.

1631
01:26:49,705 --> 01:26:51,038
I am pleasant!

1632
01:26:51,123 --> 01:26:54,876
I saw Drum Eatenton this morning
at the Piggly Wiggly

1633
01:26:54,960 --> 01:27:00,006
and I smiled at the son of a bitch
before I could help myself.

1634
01:27:01,174 --> 01:27:02,425
Ow!

1635
01:27:02,509 --> 01:27:03,426
Shit.

1636
01:27:03,510 --> 01:27:05,052
Sorry, Miss...
Sorry, Miss Ouiser.

1637
01:27:05,137 --> 01:27:09,432
Annelle, you take your Bible
and shove it where the sun doesn't shine.

1638
01:27:12,144 --> 01:27:14,228
Put it in Mommy's pocket.

1639
01:27:14,313 --> 01:27:15,730
There we go.

1640
01:27:15,814 --> 01:27:17,231
We'll zip you up,

1641
01:27:17,316 --> 01:27:20,735
and we'll go trick-or-treating
right after dinner.

1642
01:27:20,819 --> 01:27:23,237
Let's go and make
some spaghetti.

1643
01:27:23,322 --> 01:27:24,238
Oh!

1644
01:27:24,323 --> 01:27:25,364
Jack.

1645
01:27:27,409 --> 01:27:28,618
Oh.

1646
01:27:28,702 --> 01:27:31,579
Okay.

1647
01:27:32,998 --> 01:27:33,915
Yeah.

1648
01:27:33,999 --> 01:27:37,335
Yes.

1649
01:27:39,129 --> 01:27:41,923
Let's go... Let's go
call D-Daddy, okay?

1650
01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:46,552
Shelby!

1651
01:27:47,930 --> 01:27:49,430
Darling, I'm home.

1652
01:27:54,227 --> 01:27:55,353
Shelby!

1653
01:27:56,688 --> 01:27:59,065
What's the matter, pal?

1654
01:27:59,149 --> 01:28:00,775
What?

1655
01:28:02,861 --> 01:28:04,695
What's the matter?

1656
01:28:04,780 --> 01:28:11,202
Shelby!

1657
01:28:11,286 --> 01:28:13,537
Okay, buddy. Okay, okay.

1658
01:28:13,622 --> 01:28:14,830
All right.

1659
01:28:14,915 --> 01:28:16,165
Shelby!

1660
01:28:16,249 --> 01:28:17,667
Oh, my God.

1661
01:28:17,751 --> 01:28:21,170
Okay, baby, just put you
right here. One minute.

1662
01:28:21,254 --> 01:28:23,047
Shelby? Baby?

1663
01:28:23,131 --> 01:28:24,382
Shelby?

1664
01:28:49,741 --> 01:28:51,826
Rejection of the kidney.

1665
01:29:02,754 --> 01:29:05,089
The coma may be irreversible.

1666
01:29:42,294 --> 01:29:43,377
Good morning.

1667
01:29:43,462 --> 01:29:44,378
Morning, Gladys.

1668
01:29:44,463 --> 01:29:46,672
We're doing
our Jane Fonda.

1669
01:29:46,757 --> 01:29:49,300
Yeah, exercises
are good for her.

1670
01:29:51,303 --> 01:29:54,555
Here's the one where
you're holding him.

1671
01:29:54,639 --> 01:29:56,599
You're looking at him
and he's looking at you,

1672
01:29:56,683 --> 01:29:59,852
and then you all looked
over at me. Remember?

1673
01:29:59,936 --> 01:30:01,228
Open your eyes, Shelby.

1674
01:30:01,313 --> 01:30:04,482
Open your eyes. Open your eyes.
Look at him.

1675
01:30:04,566 --> 01:30:06,484
He wants you to
open your eyes, Shelby.

1676
01:30:06,568 --> 01:30:09,570
He wants you to open...
open your eyes.

1677
01:30:15,994 --> 01:30:18,370
The patient's pulse
is unchanged.

1678
01:30:20,290 --> 01:30:23,000
Some fluttering
in the A.V. Fistula.

1679
01:30:24,795 --> 01:30:26,253
It's weak.

1680
01:30:26,338 --> 01:30:28,214
The radial pulse is weaker.

1681
01:30:28,298 --> 01:30:30,800
The renal pulse is unchanged.

1682
01:30:55,033 --> 01:30:57,118
"Lesson three.

1683
01:30:57,202 --> 01:31:02,414
"Never be afraid
to try a brave new look.

1684
01:31:02,499 --> 01:31:05,668
"Now, that can mean wearing...

1685
01:31:05,752 --> 01:31:08,754
"daring to wear, um...

1686
01:31:08,839 --> 01:31:13,551
a sexy slip of a dress
that bares..."

1687
01:31:18,181 --> 01:31:22,601
Honey, it'll do you good
to get out for a while.

1688
01:31:22,686 --> 01:31:24,186
Eat a real dinner.

1689
01:31:27,149 --> 01:31:31,694
What if she wakes up for
two minutes and I'm not here?

1690
01:31:35,824 --> 01:31:38,492
"For example,

1691
01:31:38,577 --> 01:31:41,704
we know where you can get
a top-of-the-line hairstyle."

1692
01:33:56,381 --> 01:33:58,257
Call Clairee.

1693
01:34:00,176 --> 01:34:01,719
Call Connolly's Funeral Home.

1694
01:34:01,803 --> 01:34:03,304
That's the nicest.

1695
01:34:09,436 --> 01:34:10,728
Jackson.

1696
01:34:13,356 --> 01:34:16,525
You're going to have
to get her pink suit,

1697
01:34:16,609 --> 01:34:20,654
the one with the little
red cherries on the lapel?

1698
01:34:23,408 --> 01:34:25,784
Where's Jack, Jr?

1699
01:34:25,869 --> 01:34:27,453
Aunt Fern's.

1700
01:35:13,291 --> 01:35:14,541
Here's your grandma.

1701
01:35:26,763 --> 01:35:27,805
There you go.

1702
01:35:27,889 --> 01:35:30,391
Pumpkin.

1703
01:35:33,311 --> 01:35:35,229
Jackson.

1704
01:35:59,712 --> 01:36:02,673
Does this tie go?

1705
01:36:05,510 --> 01:36:06,844
Yeah.

1706
01:36:09,097 --> 01:36:11,515
You look real nice.

1707
01:36:11,599 --> 01:36:15,436
I'll come with you to the funeral
if you don't mind.

1708
01:36:16,521 --> 01:36:18,522
I don't mind.

1709
01:36:31,161 --> 01:36:34,204
I feel sorry for them, you know?

1710
01:36:35,582 --> 01:36:37,583
I mean, especially Jackson...

1711
01:36:39,836 --> 01:36:42,045
losing Shelby like that.

1712
01:36:45,842 --> 01:36:48,844
If something like that ever
happened to me, I don't know...

1713
01:36:51,139 --> 01:36:53,140
I don't know what I'd do.

1714
01:36:59,647 --> 01:37:03,108
A thing like this just
doesn't make any sense.

1715
01:37:04,277 --> 01:37:06,320
No sense at all.

1716
01:37:06,404 --> 01:37:09,656
I just keep thinking
about what Annelle says.

1717
01:37:09,741 --> 01:37:13,076
"The Lord works in mysterious ways."

1718
01:37:14,287 --> 01:37:16,413
What the hell is this for?

1719
01:37:17,916 --> 01:37:19,666
It makes you pretty.

1720
01:39:16,284 --> 01:39:17,743
Hey.

1721
01:39:17,827 --> 01:39:19,703
Come on home, honey.

1722
01:39:37,096 --> 01:39:39,598
How you holding up, honey?

1723
01:39:42,018 --> 01:39:43,393
I'm fine.

1724
01:39:44,771 --> 01:39:47,731
It was a beautiful service.

1725
01:39:47,815 --> 01:39:50,776
The flowers were
the most beautiful flowers

1726
01:39:50,860 --> 01:39:52,861
I have ever seen.

1727
01:39:52,945 --> 01:39:55,364
They were beautiful.

1728
01:39:56,949 --> 01:39:58,325
Miss M'Lynn?

1729
01:39:58,409 --> 01:40:01,495
It should make you
feel a lot better

1730
01:40:01,579 --> 01:40:04,581
that Shelby is with her king.

1731
01:40:05,750 --> 01:40:08,877
Yes, Annelle, I guess it should.

1732
01:40:08,961 --> 01:40:11,922
We should all be rejoicing.

1733
01:40:12,006 --> 01:40:13,215
You go on ahead.

1734
01:40:13,299 --> 01:40:15,384
I'm sorry if I don't feel like it.

1735
01:40:15,468 --> 01:40:16,843
I guess I'm a little selfish.

1736
01:40:16,928 --> 01:40:18,595
I'd rather have her here.

1737
01:40:21,307 --> 01:40:22,724
Miss M'Lynn...

1738
01:40:23,893 --> 01:40:27,479
I don't mean to upset you
by saying that.

1739
01:40:29,107 --> 01:40:31,149
It's just that...

1740
01:40:32,151 --> 01:40:34,069
when something
like this happens,

1741
01:40:34,153 --> 01:40:35,529
I pray very hard

1742
01:40:35,613 --> 01:40:39,199
to make heads
or tails of it, and...

1743
01:40:39,283 --> 01:40:42,202
and I think that in Shelby's case,

1744
01:40:42,286 --> 01:40:46,039
she just wanted to take care
of that little baby

1745
01:40:46,124 --> 01:40:50,127
and of you,
of everybody she knew.

1746
01:40:50,211 --> 01:40:53,046
And her poor little body
was just worn out.

1747
01:40:53,798 --> 01:40:58,051
It just wouldn't let her do
all the things she wanted to.

1748
01:40:58,136 --> 01:41:01,054
So she went on to a place

1749
01:41:01,139 --> 01:41:04,015
where she could
be a guardian angel.

1750
01:41:05,184 --> 01:41:07,477
She will always be young,

1751
01:41:07,562 --> 01:41:10,480
she will always be beautiful.

1752
01:41:10,565 --> 01:41:15,402
And I personally feel much safer
knowing she's up there on my side.

1753
01:41:17,822 --> 01:41:21,491
It may sound
real simple and stupid,

1754
01:41:21,576 --> 01:41:23,160
and maybe I am,

1755
01:41:23,244 --> 01:41:26,955
but that's how I get
through things like this.

1756
01:41:31,085 --> 01:41:33,128
Thank you, Annelle.

1757
01:41:37,467 --> 01:41:39,468
I appreciate that.

1758
01:41:41,012 --> 01:41:43,805
And it's a real good idea.

1759
01:41:43,890 --> 01:41:48,393
Shelby wouldn't want us to get
mired down and wallow in this.

1760
01:41:48,478 --> 01:41:52,314
We should handle it
the best way we know how

1761
01:41:52,398 --> 01:41:53,857
and get on with it.

1762
01:41:54,734 --> 01:41:57,277
That's what my mind says.

1763
01:41:58,529 --> 01:42:02,032
I wish somebody
would explain it to my heart.

1764
01:42:02,116 --> 01:42:04,868
Drum says you never left her side
for a second.

1765
01:42:05,828 --> 01:42:07,454
No...

1766
01:42:07,538 --> 01:42:10,457
I couldn't leave my Shelby.

1767
01:42:10,541 --> 01:42:13,460
I just sat there
and kept on pushing

1768
01:42:13,544 --> 01:42:16,963
the way I always have
where Shelby was concerned.

1769
01:42:17,048 --> 01:42:21,593
I was hoping she'd
sit up and argue with me.

1770
01:42:23,054 --> 01:42:26,473
And finally we realized
there was no hope.

1771
01:42:28,559 --> 01:42:30,352
We turned off the machines.

1772
01:42:32,355 --> 01:42:34,356
Drum left.
He couldn't take it.

1773
01:42:35,566 --> 01:42:36,900
Jackson left.

1774
01:42:40,321 --> 01:42:42,322
I find it amusing.

1775
01:42:42,406 --> 01:42:46,868
Men are supposed to be
made out of steel or something.

1776
01:42:49,080 --> 01:42:51,581
But I just sat there.

1777
01:42:53,125 --> 01:42:56,002
I just held Shelby's hand.

1778
01:42:58,422 --> 01:43:00,507
There was no noise...

1779
01:43:01,551 --> 01:43:02,843
no tremble...

1780
01:43:04,011 --> 01:43:05,929
just... peace.

1781
01:43:09,141 --> 01:43:11,434
Oh, God.

1782
01:43:11,519 --> 01:43:16,481
I realize, as a woman,
how lucky I am.

1783
01:43:17,567 --> 01:43:18,984
I was there

1784
01:43:19,068 --> 01:43:23,071
when that wonderful creature
drifted into my life,

1785
01:43:23,155 --> 01:43:25,824
and I was there
when she drifted out.

1786
01:43:25,908 --> 01:43:29,411
It was the most
precious moment of my life.

1787
01:43:36,669 --> 01:43:37,919
I got to get back.

1788
01:43:38,629 --> 01:43:40,380
Does anybody got a mirror?

1789
01:43:40,464 --> 01:43:43,633
Does anybody have a mirror?

1790
01:43:43,718 --> 01:43:46,553
I don't know how you're doing
on the inside, honey,

1791
01:43:46,637 --> 01:43:49,389
but your hair
is just holding up beautiful.

1792
01:43:51,684 --> 01:43:55,770
Oh... Shelby was right.

1793
01:43:58,065 --> 01:44:00,692
This is a brown football helmet.

1794
01:44:00,776 --> 01:44:02,485
Honey, are you okay?

1795
01:44:02,570 --> 01:44:06,239
I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

1796
01:44:06,324 --> 01:44:08,491
I'm fine!

1797
01:44:09,535 --> 01:44:12,662
I can jog all the way
to Texas and back,

1798
01:44:12,747 --> 01:44:16,166
but my daughter can't.

1799
01:44:16,250 --> 01:44:18,209
She never could.

1800
01:44:18,294 --> 01:44:21,421
God! I'm so mad,
I don't know what to do.

1801
01:44:21,505 --> 01:44:22,464
I want to know why.

1802
01:44:22,548 --> 01:44:25,508
I want to know why
Shelby's life is over.

1803
01:44:25,593 --> 01:44:27,761
I want to know how
that baby will ever know

1804
01:44:27,845 --> 01:44:30,263
how wonderful his mother was.

1805
01:44:30,348 --> 01:44:33,892
Will he ever know
what she went through for him?

1806
01:44:33,976 --> 01:44:37,437
Oh, God, I want to know why!

1807
01:44:37,521 --> 01:44:39,147
Why?

1808
01:44:39,231 --> 01:44:41,983
Lord, I wish I could understand.

1809
01:44:42,068 --> 01:44:45,278
No! No! No!

1810
01:44:45,363 --> 01:44:47,280
It's not supposed
to happen this way.

1811
01:44:47,365 --> 01:44:48,823
I'm supposed to go first.

1812
01:44:48,908 --> 01:44:51,493
I've always been ready to go first.

1813
01:44:51,577 --> 01:44:55,664
I don't think I can take this.
I don't think I can take this.

1814
01:44:55,748 --> 01:44:58,625
I just want to hit somebody
till they feel as bad as I do.

1815
01:44:58,709 --> 01:45:02,295
I just want to hit something!
I want to hit it hard!

1816
01:45:02,380 --> 01:45:04,923
Here!

1817
01:45:05,007 --> 01:45:06,383
Hit this!

1818
01:45:06,467 --> 01:45:08,301
Go ahead, M'Lynn.
Slap her!

1819
01:45:08,386 --> 01:45:09,469
Are you crazy?

1820
01:45:09,553 --> 01:45:10,345
Hit her!

1821
01:45:10,429 --> 01:45:12,263
Are you high, Clairee?

1822
01:45:12,348 --> 01:45:13,890
Have you lost your mind?

1823
01:45:13,975 --> 01:45:17,686
We'll sell T-shirts saying,
"I slapped Ouiser Boudreaux."

1824
01:45:17,770 --> 01:45:18,812
Hit her!

1825
01:45:18,896 --> 01:45:21,272
Miss Clairee, enough.

1826
01:45:21,357 --> 01:45:25,485
Ouiser, this is your chance
to do something for your fellow man.

1827
01:45:25,569 --> 01:45:27,821
Knock her lights out, M'Lynn!

1828
01:45:27,905 --> 01:45:29,364
Let go of me!

1829
01:45:29,448 --> 01:45:30,699
You missed your chance.

1830
01:45:30,783 --> 01:45:34,995
Half of Chinquapin Parish would give
their eyeteeth to take a whack at Ouiser!

1831
01:45:39,750 --> 01:45:41,084
Oh.

1832
01:45:45,423 --> 01:45:47,507
You are a pig from hell!

1833
01:45:52,263 --> 01:45:53,680
Ouiser, don't leave!

1834
01:45:53,764 --> 01:45:58,059
Ouiser, Ouiser, I was just kidding.
Come back. Oh.

1835
01:46:00,688 --> 01:46:03,773
Not a very Christian
thing to do.

1836
01:46:03,858 --> 01:46:07,610
Oh. Annelle,
you got to lighten up.

1837
01:46:43,981 --> 01:46:45,648
Go away.

1838
01:46:45,733 --> 01:46:49,152
Okay, all right, hit me then.
I deserve it.

1839
01:46:49,236 --> 01:46:51,905
You are evil,
and you must be destroyed.

1840
01:46:51,989 --> 01:46:55,408
Mother Nature's taking care
of that faster than you could.

1841
01:46:55,493 --> 01:46:59,913
Things were getting entirely too
serious for a moment. We needed to laugh.

1842
01:47:01,207 --> 01:47:04,084
I bet Lloyd got a kick out of it.

1843
01:47:04,168 --> 01:47:09,464
Lloyd got a great deal of enjoyment
at my expense when he was alive.

1844
01:47:09,548 --> 01:47:13,968
Ouiser, you know I love you
more than my luggage.

1845
01:47:23,020 --> 01:47:24,854
All right.

1846
01:47:26,482 --> 01:47:28,817
This is my bench!

1847
01:47:28,901 --> 01:47:30,944
Get off my bench!

1848
01:47:31,028 --> 01:47:33,947
Get off my... Good.

1849
01:47:34,031 --> 01:47:37,200
You are too twisted
for color TV, Clairee.

1850
01:47:38,244 --> 01:47:40,036
Have your roots done.

1851
01:47:45,543 --> 01:47:47,460
I shouldn't have
gone on the way I did.

1852
01:47:47,545 --> 01:47:49,462
I made everybody cry.
Sorry.

1853
01:47:49,547 --> 01:47:50,630
Don't be silly.

1854
01:47:50,714 --> 01:47:54,801
Laughter through tears
is my favorite emotion.

1855
01:47:54,885 --> 01:47:58,429
Maybe I should have an
emotional outburst more often.

1856
01:47:58,514 --> 01:48:00,557
Maybe I should start
having them at home.

1857
01:48:00,641 --> 01:48:02,475
Drum would be so pleased.

1858
01:48:06,522 --> 01:48:09,899
I'm glad to see
the two of you made up.

1859
01:48:09,984 --> 01:48:12,402
Ouiser could never
stay mad at me.

1860
01:48:12,486 --> 01:48:15,321
She worships
the quicksand I walk on.

1861
01:48:19,201 --> 01:48:22,162
M'Lynn...
you're in my prayers, honey.

1862
01:48:29,211 --> 01:48:31,963
Yes, Annelle, I pray.

1863
01:48:33,299 --> 01:48:35,508
Well, I do.
There, I said it.

1864
01:48:35,593 --> 01:48:36,718
I hope you're satisfied.

1865
01:48:36,802 --> 01:48:39,179
I suspected this all along.

1866
01:48:39,263 --> 01:48:42,849
Don't you expect me to come
to one of your churches,

1867
01:48:42,933 --> 01:48:47,353
those tent revivals with all those
Bible beaters doing God only knows what.

1868
01:48:47,438 --> 01:48:50,398
They'd probably make me
eat a live chicken.

1869
01:48:50,482 --> 01:48:53,234
Not on your first visit.

1870
01:48:53,319 --> 01:48:54,861
Very good, Annelle.

1871
01:48:54,945 --> 01:48:58,114
Spoken like a true smart ass.

1872
01:49:02,203 --> 01:49:04,204
Oh, what are you doing?

1873
01:49:04,288 --> 01:49:06,080
Are you eating my picture?

1874
01:49:17,134 --> 01:49:18,801
Let's play on the swing.

1875
01:49:18,886 --> 01:49:20,511
Get our feets in.

1876
01:49:20,596 --> 01:49:21,971
There we go.

1877
01:49:22,056 --> 01:49:25,558
Hold on.

1878
01:49:25,643 --> 01:49:26,559
Ahh.

1879
01:49:26,644 --> 01:49:28,144
Hold on.

1880
01:49:31,023 --> 01:49:35,401
Miss M'Lynn, I don't know if
this is the right time or place,

1881
01:49:35,486 --> 01:49:39,155
but I wanted to tell you
that Sammy and I have decided

1882
01:49:39,240 --> 01:49:42,075
that if this baby's a girl,

1883
01:49:42,159 --> 01:49:44,118
we'd like to name it Shelby,

1884
01:49:44,203 --> 01:49:47,288
since she was the reason
we met in the first place.

1885
01:49:47,373 --> 01:49:48,998
If you don't mind.

1886
01:49:49,083 --> 01:49:51,292
Shelby would love that.

1887
01:49:52,294 --> 01:49:54,462
I'm tickled pink.

1888
01:49:56,715 --> 01:49:58,091
Pink.

1889
01:49:58,175 --> 01:50:02,095
What are you going to name it
if it happens to be a boy?

1890
01:50:03,180 --> 01:50:05,098
Shelby, I guess.

1891
01:50:05,182 --> 01:50:07,517
That's how it should be.

1892
01:50:07,601 --> 01:50:10,520
Life goes on.

1893
01:50:47,766 --> 01:50:51,728
I've never been so uncomfortable
in all my life.

1894
01:50:51,812 --> 01:50:56,232
We'll talk about uncomfortable
when you're nine months pregnant, okay?

1895
01:50:58,193 --> 01:51:01,321
Keep those eyes closed, woman,
or I'm going to staple them shut.

1896
01:51:01,405 --> 01:51:03,239
They're closed.
What is it?

1897
01:51:03,324 --> 01:51:04,741
Okay. Now?

1898
01:51:04,825 --> 01:51:05,700
Ready?

1899
01:51:05,784 --> 01:51:07,076
Yeah.

1900
01:51:07,911 --> 01:51:09,329
Keep them shut.

1901
01:51:09,413 --> 01:51:10,747
Okay. Open them up.

1902
01:51:10,831 --> 01:51:12,498
All right.

1903
01:51:14,460 --> 01:51:16,169
I don't believe it!

1904
01:51:16,253 --> 01:51:19,839
I'm a chain!
Oh, Spud, oh!

1905
01:51:21,800 --> 01:51:23,343
Jesus.

1906
01:51:23,427 --> 01:51:24,844
Oh, lighten up.

1907
01:51:24,928 --> 01:51:27,722
Now, you just burst
through those bushes

1908
01:51:27,806 --> 01:51:30,892
and hop over
to where the kids are.

1909
01:51:30,976 --> 01:51:33,353
What bushes?
I can't see shit.

1910
01:51:33,437 --> 01:51:35,188
Over there.

1911
01:51:35,272 --> 01:51:38,733
I'm an adult,
I'm not a five-year-old.

1912
01:51:38,817 --> 01:51:41,819
On your mark, get set, go!

1913
01:51:41,904 --> 01:51:42,945
Come on.

1914
01:51:43,030 --> 01:51:47,200
Okay, Jack, Jr.,
I'm going to tell you a story.

1915
01:51:48,619 --> 01:51:50,536
Once upon a time,

1916
01:51:50,621 --> 01:51:54,540
there was a beautiful
young gal named Shelby.

1917
01:51:54,625 --> 01:51:57,502
And Shelby had a lovely,

1918
01:51:57,586 --> 01:52:03,549
kind and wonderful good fairy
named Clairee.

1919
01:52:04,635 --> 01:52:08,221
But there was also a horrible, evil,

1920
01:52:08,305 --> 01:52:11,724
ugly witch named Ouiser.

1921
01:52:11,809 --> 01:52:14,727
I hate these stupid
neighborhood things.

1922
01:52:14,812 --> 01:52:17,563
No one's twisting your arm
to keep you here.

1923
01:52:17,648 --> 01:52:20,066
Well, I have to be sociable.

1924
01:52:21,360 --> 01:52:23,069
Hey, Rhett's here!

1925
01:52:25,364 --> 01:52:27,031
Let's connect the bald spots.

1926
01:52:27,116 --> 01:52:28,282
Drum?

1927
01:52:28,367 --> 01:52:29,242
Hmm?

1928
01:52:29,326 --> 01:52:30,785
Eat shit and die.

1929
01:52:30,869 --> 01:52:32,078
Hello, M'Lynn.

1930
01:52:32,162 --> 01:52:34,414
Ouiser. Owen.

1931
01:52:34,498 --> 01:52:35,957
Good to see you, too,
Ouiser, Owen.

1932
01:52:38,710 --> 01:52:40,586
Come on, Rhett.
Kill! Kill!

1933
01:52:40,671 --> 01:52:43,798
Quit it, Drum!
Stop egging him on.

1934
01:52:43,882 --> 01:52:45,341
Arrr!

1935
01:52:47,177 --> 01:52:51,264
And everyone lived
happily ever after.

1936
01:52:51,348 --> 01:52:55,685
And the nasty,
wicked, evil, wretched,

1937
01:52:55,769 --> 01:52:58,062
horrible, mean Ouiser

1938
01:52:58,147 --> 01:53:01,190
was never heard from again.

1939
01:53:01,275 --> 01:53:04,235
Now, it's almost time
for the Easter Bunny.

1940
01:53:04,319 --> 01:53:07,155
Run on down, hmm?

1941
01:53:07,239 --> 01:53:08,531
Here!

1942
01:53:13,871 --> 01:53:15,746
Shh.

1943
01:53:21,253 --> 01:53:22,503
Ha ha ha!

1944
01:53:22,588 --> 01:53:24,297
Hi, Jack.
You remember me?

1945
01:53:24,381 --> 01:53:25,965
It's your old pal Ouiser.

1946
01:53:29,553 --> 01:53:30,344
Aah! Jack!

1947
01:53:30,429 --> 01:53:32,680
This isn't like Jackson.

1948
01:53:32,764 --> 01:53:34,974
Jack, come here.

1949
01:53:42,941 --> 01:53:44,609
Oh, Jack.

1950
01:53:44,693 --> 01:53:46,152
Is he all right?

1951
01:53:46,236 --> 01:53:48,362
Oh, yes, he's all right.

1952
01:53:55,412 --> 01:53:57,121
Ohh.

1953
01:53:57,206 --> 01:54:00,166
Oh, Truvy!

1954
01:54:00,250 --> 01:54:02,919
Oh, honey. It's okay, it's okay.

1955
01:54:03,003 --> 01:54:04,962
Women have babies
every day. M'Lynn.

1956
01:54:05,047 --> 01:54:05,922
Jonathan, quick.

1957
01:54:06,006 --> 01:54:08,758
Get that Easter Bunny
over here now!

1958
01:54:08,842 --> 01:54:10,259
Hey, Tommy, where's Sammy?

1959
01:54:10,344 --> 01:54:11,302
Over there.

1960
01:54:11,386 --> 01:54:12,512
Why? What's going on?

1961
01:54:12,596 --> 01:54:14,263
What's... Oh, my God!

1962
01:54:14,348 --> 01:54:16,307
She's going to have a baby!

1963
01:54:16,391 --> 01:54:18,017
Go get a doctor.

1964
01:54:18,101 --> 01:54:18,893
A doc... Help!

1965
01:54:18,977 --> 01:54:21,187
This way! This way!

1966
01:54:21,271 --> 01:54:22,813
This way. Come on.

1967
01:54:22,898 --> 01:54:25,942
Through here.
Come on. Get her in.

1968
01:54:29,029 --> 01:54:31,906
It's all right, honey.
We'll get Sammy.

1969
01:54:31,990 --> 01:54:34,283
Easy, easy.

1970
01:54:40,707 --> 01:54:41,374
Bye-bye.

1971
01:54:41,458 --> 01:54:44,460
Bye. Bye. Bye.

1972
01:54:46,880 --> 01:54:48,714
Come on, Sammy!

1973
01:54:49,967 --> 01:54:51,759
Get your tail hopping!