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♪♪♪
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♪♪♪
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(crowd cheering)
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(SportsDesk theme music)
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- Hey, I'm James Duffy.
- Yes, he is. I'm Chad Bailey,
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sexy, roguish new face of
our parent company's effort
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to rebrand SportsDesk
for a new generation.
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SportsDesk, it's not
delivery; it's SportsDesk.
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- OK, uh, we go live to
Reading, Pennsylvania.
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With the Big League officially shut
down thanks to the lockout, all eyes
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are on the ENHL tonight
as the Reading Wolfdogs
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get set to take on the Halifax...
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- Highlanders, this season, the big show
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made it to us. This lockout means
there's gonna be a whole bunch
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of big dicks swinging away down to
our league. Play is gonna get faster,
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the hits are gonna get harder,
crowd's gonna get "crowdier."
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Fucking boys of the light brigade,
and you're gonna need someone
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at the tip of the spear. You need a cap.
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- Yeah.
- He's bled blue and orange for this team
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a long time.
- That's right.
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- He's got that shit that keeps him going
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long after he has any reason to.
- (Coach): Open that up.
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- Dougie. My boy. Put this fucker on!
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Come on!
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- (player): Looks good on you.
- Cheers. - (player): Alright.
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- C, whoo!
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(sighing)
- Thank you guys so much.
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I've never been a captain before.
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One time, I had a dream that I
was a captain of a monkey ship.
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There was all these monkeys
playing around, laughing,
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having fun, singing,
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wearing little monkey sailor hats,
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fighting over life jackets.
Pierce Brosnan was screaming.
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I hope one day I could be
the captain of your dreams.
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Best wishes. Doug Glatt.
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- OK, yeah, alright, good. Well, we... Dougie,
didn't make you captain for your speeches.
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We made you captain... Because you leave
it all out there on the fucking ice.
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Ah, this sport is everything to you, right?
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You make me proud to own this team.
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I want you all to watch
Doug out there tonight.
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Watch him do whatever the
fuck it takes to get us
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the W. That said,
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come on, let's get after
it, boys! (cheering)
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- Congrats, bud. - Fresh-beat ice, boys.
- Thank you, buddy.
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- I can't wait, Dougie.
- Go out and captain out there.
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- (Duffy): Joining us for tonight's
game, our own Red McCauley.
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- (McCauley): Reading city
council spent a bunch of money
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on a new Jumbotron and right now,
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it's making everything red.
- Go, boys!
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(siren)
- I love this fucking game.
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- (McCauley): And back to Reading here.
Here's Laflamme dancing with the puck.
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Laflamme spins. He shoots. He hit the post!
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Now it's Laflamme again. He's all
over the ice! Murphy steps into him.
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Ohh! Glatt absolutely levels
Michael Murphy. Sorry, Mikey.
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- (McCauley): Glatt's escorted aside
by a couple of Reading Wolfdogs.
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Laflamme! He was flattened.
That angers Glatt.
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Glatt fires a left. He fires a right.
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- Sorry, Mikey.
- (McCauley): They're falling.
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The Wolfdogs are down.
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- Sorry, Mikey.
- Shut the fuck up, Doug.
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- (McCauley): And that is what
friends are for, especially
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when your friends are huge
Jewish guys named Doug Glatt.
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(dynamic music)
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Here's Laflamme taking the
puck. He moves up the left wing.
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Laflamme trying to go to the
outside as the penalties expire.
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Both sides at full swing.
Laflamme in behind the goal,
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takes it into the corner He circles.
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What's in front? Awaiting there is Glatt,
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but Laflamme holds up, jams out. He scores!
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Laflamme makes it 1-nothing for
the Halifax Highlanders. Alright.
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- (McCauley): Reunited,
and it feels so good.
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It's a new dawn for
the Halifax Highlanders.
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(encouragements)
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- You're like Captain America!
- "Captain America"!
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- (McCauley): New owner and
GM Hyrum Cain's plan to win
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a championship in his
first season starts off
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with a bang as the
Highlanders open the scoring.
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(SportsDesk theme music)
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- Highlanders draw first
blood at the buzzer,
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but the real story here
is the physical play.
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Doug Glatt, like a huge
Jewish freight train
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doing what he does best.
His tilt with Ross Rhea still
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number 1 on the Hockeyfights.com
all-time best list.
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He's already proving
to be a difference maker
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for Halifax GM and
Highlanders' hall of famer
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Hyrum Cain.
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- The other story to follow
of course is Hyrum's son
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Anders Cain who's coming
off that career-high
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season last year: 80 points.
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Anders now finds himself up
against his own father's team
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in the very first game of the season.
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Anders is the prototypical
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modern-era tough guy,
able to drop the gloves
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and put up the points as well.
Anders and Xavier Laflamme
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are perfect examples of the
kind of the top-quality talent
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this lockout is already providing
the League. What a great lockout.
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- No one ever says that.
- I just did. And I'm Chad Bailey. SportsDesk...
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it's sports at a desk, you lunatics.
Look at this motherfucking desk.
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- I wanted to thank my big sis, Eva,
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for organizing the fuck out of this!
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- Yeah! - Indeed!
- Gonna get "shittered";
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might as well get "shittered"
at my place of work.
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- Place of work! (cheering)
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Place of work! Place of work!
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- And you just add some cheese in there.
- Oh, shit, there he is! Dougie!
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- When it gets to a certain
length, I just go to the barber
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and he cuts it to the length
that I want him to cut it in.
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Thank you.
- (woman): Attaboy, Dougie.
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- But just to summarize, that's
a yes on mandatory neck guards.
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- Yes. That's correct. Thank you.
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- OK. Now while we have
you here, is there anyone
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back home you'd like
to give a shout out to?
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- Yes, thank you. I want to
say hi to my one teammate Eva
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who couldn't be here tonight. She's my teammate
and can't be here right now. My wife Eva.
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- Doug with that big dick! (blonde woman laughing)
- That's not appropriate.
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- I'll do whatever my team needs me to do.
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- (blonde woman): Yeah, you do.
- (other woman): Yeah, Dougie!
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- Whatever you need.
(Eva vomiting) Hahaha!
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- Oh, my God!
- Hahaha!
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My beer is back.
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(Eva coughing) (toilet flushing)
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(sighing)
- Ugh!
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(other toilet flushing)
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(ominous music) (baby laughing)
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Aw, f...
- Fuck sake!
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Jesus Christ! Goddammit!
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No one wants to skate anymore. Is
that it? Do you want to sit here?
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Breathe hard? Dougie, you're on.
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I want you to rough up a few Reading cunts
right now. The boys need some inspiration,
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and you can provide that.
Let's go! Come on, come on!
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- Let's go, boys! Let's turn
this fucking thing around.
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(dramatic music)
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- Here it comes.
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(crowd gasping)
- You wanna go?
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(stick falling on ice)
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(whistle)
- Come on, come on.
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- (crowd, chanting): Fight!
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- (McCauley): Jesus Christ!
Anders came with the opening salvo!
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- Come on, come on!
- Doug Glatt is rocked!
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Cain just keeps pouncing.
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The Thug is in trouble, folks!
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- Ugh!
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(grunting)
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- (McCauley): What has
happened to Doug Glatt?
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The champion in so many eyes!
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(crowd cheering)
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- (Laflamme): Fuck off! You fuck!
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(Glatt groaning)
- You popped your whole arm out. Fuck me!
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- Did I lose?
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(rock music)
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(audio feedback)
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- Our boy's moving on to greener pastures.
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But remember, once a Highlander...
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- (crowd): Always a Highlander!
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- Fucking A!
- This one's for you, Dougie.
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(guitar tuning and drumroll)
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♪♪ Oh, Dougie boy ♪
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♪ The pipes, the pipes are calling ♪
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- Jesus Christ, he's drunk already.
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- Fucking right, man. ♪ From glen to glen ♪
- Potato fucking salad.
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- ♪ And down the mountain ♪
- Ow!!
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- You will never eat a meal in peace.
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- Animals don't eat in peace.
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Animals eat pieces of dog shit.
- I'm not a fucking animal, man!
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I'm a real person! I got real fucking
emotions. I don't eat... Fuck you!
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- Ow! You fucking Neanderthals!
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- So fucking tired though.
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I'm not as fast as I used to be.
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- I'm not as tough as I used to be.
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- (man): Dougie, this is all for you!
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(some people laughing)
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- How much you... How much recovery time?
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(man still singing)
- Doctor said
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that I should never play hockey again.
- Tabarnak!
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- Yeah. That's exactly what I said.
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(Doug sighing) And we have a baby coming.
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Eva's cousin, he's got a job
opportunity at an insurance company.
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- ♪ Oh, Dougie boy ♪
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- I mean...
- Dougie boy!
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♪ I love you so ♪♪
- Got beaten.
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(drumroll) He beat me.
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I have to make responsible decisions.
(crowd applauding and cheering)
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- Alright.
- I got you. I got you, friend.
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- Stevesy, I think I'm gonna piss myself.
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(retro orchestral music playing)
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- Hey! There's my guy!
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Hey, stay there, I'll come to you.
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00:12:04,293 --> 00:12:06,461
Ooh! Yeah.
- (employee): I'm good, Ray.
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00:12:06,462 --> 00:12:09,328
- Just stand here?
- Just...
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I told you I'm coming to you. I'm Doug
Glatt. I said I was coming to you.
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I can do this. Prostate.
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Work up. Got a melon.
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Here we go. See? Flat,
I'm fine. It's the stairs.
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- I'm Doug Glatt. - Yeah. Bob Forbes.
- Ow, my arm!
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00:12:23,645 --> 00:12:26,712
- Oh yeah, hell of an arm! How
excited are you right now, huh?
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- Yes. Thank you so much.
The windows here are great.
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- Yeah, tell you what. You deserve
'em. 'Cause the sky is the limit
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here at Cornwallis Insurance.
- Hmm! - You seen the commercials?
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00:12:37,393 --> 00:12:40,528
- No.
- Ah, you should, they're real good. It says,
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♪ Go ahead and call us, we're... ♪
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00:12:44,033 --> 00:12:47,802
- You want me to call you?
- No, I want you to finish the song. Cornwallis.
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00:12:47,803 --> 00:12:51,605
- Oh.
- Hahaha! There he is. He's going up, this guy.
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00:12:51,607 --> 00:12:54,073
Get in there.
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00:12:54,076 --> 00:12:58,745
Used to be a jail.
Prisoners killed themselves.
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"Doug Glatt, storage room,"
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that's you. How does that feel?
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00:13:04,453 --> 00:13:07,120
You know, you mentioned
you play hockey; I used
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00:13:07,123 --> 00:13:09,755
to watch a lot of hockey 'til it
got too exciting for the old ticker.
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00:13:09,758 --> 00:13:14,226
Had a massive heart attack. Yep,
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I am a sick man. Anyway,
I'm lying on my death bed,
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00:13:17,533 --> 00:13:20,201
and that's when I got bit
by the selling insurance bug.
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(Doug chuckling) Yep, she laid eggs
right inside of me, and now you're here.
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00:13:24,206 --> 00:13:26,539
- I'm allergic to eggs.
- You're an idiot;
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nobody's allergic to eggs. (man
outside moaning) Oh, Christ,
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00:13:29,111 --> 00:13:33,480
this guy. Come on, come on! Come on!
Aah! Get out of there! Quit! Quit that!
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- (man outside): Fuck you!
- It's like he's showing off. Huh? Nice fixed stream.
217
00:13:37,251 --> 00:13:41,120
- Yeah.
- God! They got a whole alley to do that in and then they choose
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this window to piss on.
God, it's like crack to them.
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- Crazy.
- They also sell crack at that window.
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- Oh! OK.
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- But don't worry, it's safe as
long as you get out by sundown.
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That's when the handjobs start.
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(pop music playing)
- What the...?
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00:14:05,815 --> 00:14:09,682
A lot of cars in our driveway.
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00:14:09,684 --> 00:14:12,284
(You're a Strange Animal
by Gowan playing)
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00:14:12,287 --> 00:14:14,825
- AAAH! Surprise!
- Hey, fuck!
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00:14:17,426 --> 00:14:21,360
- I was gonna be in town anyway, so I thought to
myself, wouldn't this be the perfect opportunity
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00:14:21,363 --> 00:14:25,566
to organize a little something
for the two of you? Ohhh,
229
00:14:25,567 --> 00:14:29,735
I am so proud of you, Dougie. You
found something secure and steady.
230
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:33,506
You see? Everything has a time and a place.
231
00:14:33,509 --> 00:14:36,275
Hmm! Hmm-hmm!
- Thanks, Mom.
232
00:14:36,278 --> 00:14:39,778
- Oh. Your house, the baby...
233
00:14:39,780 --> 00:14:42,381
I can't believe I'm gonna be a grandmother.
234
00:14:42,384 --> 00:14:45,418
If I'm being honest, there was a while there
where I never thought it was gonna happen,
235
00:14:45,421 --> 00:14:47,922
what with Ira being the way he is and all.
236
00:14:47,923 --> 00:14:49,923
- Jesus, Mom.
- Wow!
237
00:14:49,924 --> 00:14:53,427
If it makes you feel any
better, I go all kinds of ways.
238
00:14:53,428 --> 00:14:55,696
- What kinds of ways?
- Ah, you get me drunk enough,
239
00:14:55,697 --> 00:14:59,500
I'll munch a box. That's not an
animal; I got all kinds of tricks.
240
00:14:59,501 --> 00:15:01,701
(man growling)
241
00:15:01,703 --> 00:15:03,903
- Feels like my ass threw up!
242
00:15:03,905 --> 00:15:08,643
HEYYY! There he is! No, no, come on,
243
00:15:08,644 --> 00:15:11,211
give me the good stuff.
Give me the... No, no.
244
00:15:11,214 --> 00:15:15,249
(gurgling)
- (Doug's mom): Ohhhh!
245
00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:19,754
- Fucking... Mazel tov!
Mazel tov! In your a...
246
00:15:19,755 --> 00:15:24,225
Oh, excuse me, I didn't... I'm sorry.
Sorry. - (whispering): No. Fuck.
247
00:15:24,226 --> 00:15:27,394
- I was just pretending to butt fuck my friend.
I don't think we've been properly introduced.
248
00:15:27,397 --> 00:15:30,364
I'm Patrick... Hoolahan.
249
00:15:30,365 --> 00:15:32,264
- We've met, you idiot!
250
00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:35,501
You wouldn't stop hitting on
me at Doug and Eva's wedding.
251
00:15:35,504 --> 00:15:37,971
And you fell asleep and pissed yourself.
252
00:15:37,974 --> 00:15:40,740
- Nice. Represent.
- (Mary): Yeah.
253
00:15:40,743 --> 00:15:43,509
- Why do you have a boner?
- You just noticed that?
254
00:15:43,511 --> 00:15:44,745
- Hey, what, I have a...
- (Mary): It's massive.
255
00:15:44,746 --> 00:15:47,947
- What? Uh...
- Come on, clean it up!
256
00:15:47,950 --> 00:15:51,918
- Ah! - No! Stop!
- Just trying to get rid of it.
257
00:15:51,921 --> 00:15:55,558
- Pat always gets boners.
- (Pat): FUCK! DIB! HIYA!
258
00:16:07,469 --> 00:16:10,903
- So how was your first day?
- Work?
259
00:16:10,905 --> 00:16:14,673
Oh, it... Aw, It was so fun.
260
00:16:14,676 --> 00:16:18,745
Yeah. I mean, there's
so many documents and...
261
00:16:18,748 --> 00:16:22,850
phone calls to make and receive and...
262
00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:25,284
You sit a lot.
263
00:16:25,287 --> 00:16:27,553
I mean, like, pretty much the whole day.
264
00:16:27,556 --> 00:16:31,826
So it's safe. You know, it's really safe.
265
00:16:31,827 --> 00:16:35,566
Plus there's a Harvey's
close by, which is good.
266
00:16:37,566 --> 00:16:40,701
- Hey. I'm proud of you,
267
00:16:40,702 --> 00:16:43,537
of us.
268
00:16:43,538 --> 00:16:46,572
We're doing this. It's...
269
00:16:46,575 --> 00:16:48,942
it's a fucking a lot and...
270
00:16:48,945 --> 00:16:52,578
(chuckling) It's crazy, but we're doing it.
271
00:16:52,581 --> 00:16:55,014
Together.
272
00:16:55,017 --> 00:16:59,288
- A team.
- Yeah, we're a team. Got each other's backs.
273
00:17:02,892 --> 00:17:05,425
I know it's hard for you.
274
00:17:05,428 --> 00:17:08,595
I mean, I know you miss it.
275
00:17:08,596 --> 00:17:10,730
And I miss it too.
276
00:17:10,731 --> 00:17:13,700
I loved watching you play,
277
00:17:13,701 --> 00:17:17,470
but I love you and...
278
00:17:17,471 --> 00:17:21,342
the family we're gonna
have, more. (toilet flushing)
279
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:24,044
- AAH! Guys! Dropping loads.
280
00:17:24,046 --> 00:17:28,451
Dropping fucking hot meatball
loads from my asshole.
281
00:17:30,818 --> 00:17:32,852
- Hey, Pat.
282
00:17:32,854 --> 00:17:35,588
- This... I
- I was just... I'm having... I'm having
283
00:17:35,590 --> 00:17:38,992
some stomach issues today.
284
00:17:38,994 --> 00:17:41,661
- (announcer): Ladies and germs,
welcome to the Bruised and Battered
285
00:17:41,663 --> 00:17:44,731
Hockey Fighting Competition.
Proudly banned in 11 states,
286
00:17:44,733 --> 00:17:47,801
6 provinces and 1 territory!
The hockey tournament
287
00:17:47,804 --> 00:17:50,337
for retired fourth-liners
with only one rule:
288
00:17:50,339 --> 00:17:52,539
no hockey.
289
00:17:52,541 --> 00:17:55,476
- You know, I tell ya, Hot Ice
would have been all over this shit.
290
00:17:55,478 --> 00:17:58,746
Fucking kids these days
with their fucking...
291
00:17:58,748 --> 00:18:01,381
YouTube.
292
00:18:01,383 --> 00:18:03,717
Fucking Isis.
293
00:18:03,719 --> 00:18:06,886
I tell you what, I'm into
new shit now. But lately,
294
00:18:06,888 --> 00:18:09,457
Dougie, my new thing; I'm all about going
295
00:18:09,459 --> 00:18:13,460
fucking door to door
selling fucking china deluxe.
296
00:18:13,461 --> 00:18:18,031
Look at this fucking thing,
right? You know, you fucking...
297
00:18:18,034 --> 00:18:21,768
You put it someplace, you put it
another place. People fucking look at it.
298
00:18:21,769 --> 00:18:24,070
Does everything it needs to do.
299
00:18:24,073 --> 00:18:27,507
Dope, right? Dougie?
300
00:18:27,509 --> 00:18:31,444
- I keep going over
and over it in my head.
301
00:18:31,446 --> 00:18:35,082
He was unlike anybody
I've ever fought before.
302
00:18:35,084 --> 00:18:37,450
He was faster...
303
00:18:37,451 --> 00:18:39,452
meaner.
304
00:18:39,454 --> 00:18:43,757
Thank God Eva wasn't
watching when he beat me.
305
00:18:43,759 --> 00:18:46,559
- (announcer): And now, the
main event of the evening!
306
00:18:46,561 --> 00:18:49,596
Fighting for the $400 grand prize
307
00:18:49,597 --> 00:18:52,766
is reigning champ, Ross "the Boss"...
308
00:18:52,768 --> 00:18:55,736
- Rhea!
- (announcer): Rhea!
309
00:18:55,738 --> 00:18:58,138
- (Pat): Yep, you kicked the
shit out of him. He looks like
310
00:18:58,141 --> 00:19:02,942
265 pounds of dog shit stuffed
into fucking ice skates,
311
00:19:02,943 --> 00:19:06,846
but, tell you what,
motherfucker can still bang.
312
00:19:06,847 --> 00:19:09,585
(neck cracking)
313
00:19:11,586 --> 00:19:13,853
- Hey, Barnesby.
- Bossman.
314
00:19:13,855 --> 00:19:16,089
- How's the shoulder?
- Fucked as usual.
315
00:19:16,092 --> 00:19:18,691
Thanks for asking, though.
316
00:19:18,692 --> 00:19:22,695
- Alright. I'll make it quick for you.
- Fuck you.
317
00:19:22,698 --> 00:19:25,765
(crowd cheering)
318
00:19:25,767 --> 00:19:29,638
(rock music playing)
- (spectator): Follow the dream! Yeah!
319
00:19:32,039 --> 00:19:36,711
- Oof! Oof!
- ♪♪ Stand up and say And say your prayers ♪
320
00:19:40,016 --> 00:19:42,215
♪ Stand up and say ♪
321
00:19:42,218 --> 00:19:45,988
♪ Say your prayers Say them ♪♪
322
00:19:47,022 --> 00:19:48,788
- Oh!
323
00:19:48,789 --> 00:19:51,691
- You alright, Barnes?
- Aww, go fuck yourself.
324
00:19:51,692 --> 00:19:55,962
- Jesus fucking Christ!
It's a fucking crime scene!
325
00:19:55,964 --> 00:19:59,435
(cheers and applause) Bra-ah!
326
00:20:07,477 --> 00:20:10,544
- (woman): I love you!
- "The Bruised and Battered Competition...
327
00:20:10,546 --> 00:20:13,246
"would like to thank you
for your continued support.
328
00:20:13,248 --> 00:20:16,483
"But we are especially thankful...
329
00:20:16,486 --> 00:20:18,084
(audio feedback) (soft music playing)
330
00:20:18,086 --> 00:20:21,554
"for the Dartmouth Wig Outlet.
331
00:20:21,556 --> 00:20:23,756
You won't wig out at their prices."
332
00:20:23,758 --> 00:20:26,826
- (spectator): Fucking
sister wearing the wig!
333
00:20:26,827 --> 00:20:29,563
(spectators shouting)
- Alright.
334
00:20:29,565 --> 00:20:34,034
I got some people I want to
thank too. You fucking people!
335
00:20:34,036 --> 00:20:37,103
(crowd whistling and
jeering) Yeah. That's right.
336
00:20:37,105 --> 00:20:39,573
I used to think I was done.
337
00:20:39,575 --> 00:20:44,010
And maybe there... there
is a time for everybody...
338
00:20:44,012 --> 00:20:46,179
but when I step out on this ice
339
00:20:46,181 --> 00:20:49,717
and I see all of you
cheering me on, I know my time
340
00:20:49,719 --> 00:20:53,086
ain't done yet. Thank you very much.
- You're the fucking man, Ross!
341
00:20:53,087 --> 00:20:55,823
- (crowd): Ross! Ross! Ross! Ross!
342
00:20:55,825 --> 00:20:57,023
Ross! Ross!
343
00:20:57,026 --> 00:20:59,930
Ross! Ross! Ross! Ross! Ross!
344
00:21:02,864 --> 00:21:06,933
- I'm James Duffy.
- And I'm Chad Bailey. You're watching SportsDesk.
345
00:21:06,935 --> 00:21:10,938
SportsDesk, we're all pink on the inside.
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
346
00:21:10,940 --> 00:21:13,239
Anyway, Halifax's woeful
losing streak extends
347
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:16,276
to 12 straight losses to start the year.
348
00:21:16,278 --> 00:21:18,178
They've been in a rut
since their disastrous
349
00:21:18,180 --> 00:21:20,246
season-opening loss to Reading, which saw
350
00:21:20,248 --> 00:21:22,715
then-captain Doug Glatt
hospitalized following
351
00:21:22,718 --> 00:21:25,818
what would be a career-ending
tilt with Anders Cain.
352
00:21:25,820 --> 00:21:30,323
Can the Highlanders find a
way to turn things around?
353
00:21:30,325 --> 00:21:33,927
- (Hyrum): I bought this team because I win.
- (Coach): I know.
354
00:21:33,930 --> 00:21:36,697
- This lockout should be the best thing
to ever happen to us, but we're blowing it.
355
00:21:36,699 --> 00:21:40,833
We are going after the biggest
names on this side of the Atlantic,
356
00:21:40,835 --> 00:21:44,037
players you can build a team
around, starting with Anders.
357
00:21:44,038 --> 00:21:47,207
- Wait. Your son?
358
00:21:47,209 --> 00:21:49,709
- Yeah. He's been
359
00:21:49,711 --> 00:21:52,313
a fucking beast for Reading.
360
00:21:52,315 --> 00:21:55,915
Not to mention, he almost
singlehandedly eviscerated us.
361
00:21:55,917 --> 00:21:58,151
- Why are you taking so much joy?
362
00:21:58,153 --> 00:22:00,587
He pretty much ended Dougie's
fucking hockey career.
363
00:22:00,589 --> 00:22:03,590
- Hey, Glatt's career
was ending all by itself.
364
00:22:03,593 --> 00:22:06,359
- Well, we're never gonna
know that now, are we?
365
00:22:06,362 --> 00:22:08,861
No offense, Hyrum, OK?
366
00:22:08,863 --> 00:22:11,731
But you and your son, not
exactly Walter and Wayne.
367
00:22:11,733 --> 00:22:15,169
- That shit is behind us. You can
believe he is not gonna fuck this up.
368
00:22:15,171 --> 00:22:19,073
He knows what's at stake.
We go all in for Anders...
369
00:22:19,075 --> 00:22:23,309
you're gonna make him captain,
and I'm gonna keep his ass in line.
370
00:22:23,311 --> 00:22:25,746
- Hyrum, please. Captain? Let's talk about this.
- Ronnie...
371
00:22:25,748 --> 00:22:28,082
- Let's think about this. Let's think about the A...
- Ronnie!
372
00:22:28,084 --> 00:22:32,218
- Before we get to the C.
- Ronnie! You're gonna coach my kid.
373
00:22:32,220 --> 00:22:35,888
You're gonna build a team around
him, you're gonna make him captain
374
00:22:35,891 --> 00:22:39,025
or I'm gonna find some other
fucking guy who will. Fine.
375
00:22:39,027 --> 00:22:43,229
- Good.
- Fine. Better than being on the door.
376
00:22:43,230 --> 00:22:45,634
(rock music)
377
00:22:47,635 --> 00:22:49,873
(rock music)
378
00:22:54,075 --> 00:22:57,644
(Strength of Strings
by Gene Clark playing)
379
00:22:57,645 --> 00:23:01,814
- Hey.
- Hey. Thanks for coming.
380
00:23:01,816 --> 00:23:05,419
- Thanks for inviting me.
- Welcome. What do you think?
381
00:23:05,421 --> 00:23:09,323
- I think it's... I think it's all...
382
00:23:09,325 --> 00:23:11,691
you.
- As it should be, right?
383
00:23:11,692 --> 00:23:14,127
- As it should be.
- Great room. - Great room.
384
00:23:14,130 --> 00:23:18,164
- Can I get you a soda pop or...?
- Uh...
385
00:23:18,166 --> 00:23:22,905
- Sunflower seeds? - Uh, yeah, seeds are good.
- Help yourself. Sit down.
386
00:23:27,410 --> 00:23:30,380
- Sunflower seeds are for
winners. (tongue clicking)
387
00:23:33,981 --> 00:23:36,215
- Son...
388
00:23:36,218 --> 00:23:39,719
- Sorry. It's uh...
389
00:23:39,721 --> 00:23:43,890
- You're carrying the torch now.
- Yes, sir.
390
00:23:43,892 --> 00:23:46,826
- You don't want...
(clicking tongue) ...over you.
391
00:23:46,827 --> 00:23:51,397
- I own the torch.
- Our name's on your back. Our family.
392
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:55,201
- Our family. And actually,
um, Mom was asking me...
393
00:23:55,202 --> 00:23:59,172
- Our name is a currency in this town.
- Absolutely.
394
00:23:59,173 --> 00:24:01,842
- I don't want you to fuck
this up. Not this time.
395
00:24:01,844 --> 00:24:05,778
This season's everything.
The world is watching.
396
00:24:05,779 --> 00:24:08,381
- Maybe not the world.
397
00:24:08,383 --> 00:24:10,917
I mean, Canada probably, but...
398
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:15,025
And like three or four states.
- Stand up.
399
00:24:17,926 --> 00:24:21,027
I'm giving you the C. - Yeah.
- You're gonna prove me right.
400
00:24:21,028 --> 00:24:24,030
You're gonna win. - Yes, sir. Gonna win.
- Stay the fuck out of trouble.
401
00:24:24,032 --> 00:24:27,101
- Because the therapy worked this time.
402
00:24:27,103 --> 00:24:30,336
- I don't wanna hear about that.
- We won't talk about it.
403
00:24:30,337 --> 00:24:33,372
- That's for your mom.
- Yes, sir. - It's shit for your mom.
404
00:24:33,374 --> 00:24:36,342
- Yes, sir.
- Don't bring shit up like that.
405
00:24:36,344 --> 00:24:39,145
- (man on TV): You don't know
nothing about good times.
406
00:24:39,147 --> 00:24:42,849
Let me tell you about
fucking good times.
407
00:24:42,852 --> 00:24:46,753
I remember that summer
like it was yesterday.
408
00:24:46,756 --> 00:24:50,490
Good music, nice
heat, great friends.
409
00:24:50,491 --> 00:24:52,992
One night, me and my
friends, my great friends,
410
00:24:52,994 --> 00:24:56,829
went for hamburgers downtown.
411
00:24:56,832 --> 00:24:58,965
That summer,
412
00:24:58,968 --> 00:25:03,169
we ruled the world. (touching
music) We thought we "wuz" the kings.
413
00:25:03,171 --> 00:25:06,272
Turns out we "wuz" the jokers.
414
00:25:06,275 --> 00:25:10,113
- (older man on TV): Look what the fucking
cat dragged in! (indistinct TV show)
415
00:25:14,784 --> 00:25:16,986
♪♪♪
416
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,232
(rock music)
417
00:25:33,234 --> 00:25:36,005
(indistinct chatter)
418
00:25:37,105 --> 00:25:40,942
(chatter stops)
419
00:25:48,150 --> 00:25:52,118
- (player): Fucking kid.
420
00:25:52,121 --> 00:25:55,190
This is bullshit.
421
00:26:02,230 --> 00:26:05,865
- He has hair like a lion.
422
00:26:05,866 --> 00:26:09,169
- Bring it in! Bring it in!
423
00:26:09,171 --> 00:26:12,839
OK, boys. We kind of fucked
up the start of this thing, eh?
424
00:26:12,842 --> 00:26:17,210
So now, we got a few lads who are
on their wages up for the big show
425
00:26:17,211 --> 00:26:19,880
down here with us wearing our jerseys.
426
00:26:19,882 --> 00:26:23,015
Jean-Pierre Finch.
- Yo.
427
00:26:23,017 --> 00:26:26,986
- We got, uh, Pet... Petr,
uh, Petri Dish, Petrov.
428
00:26:26,988 --> 00:26:31,057
A lot of P's. (speaking foreign
language) What's he doing?
429
00:26:31,058 --> 00:26:35,294
- He's handing out candy.
- Candy? (word in Slovak)
430
00:26:35,296 --> 00:26:38,297
- It's a Slovak tradition, maybe.
- Better be.
431
00:26:38,298 --> 00:26:41,903
- Oh, my God!
432
00:26:43,904 --> 00:26:47,473
(speaking Slovak)
- OK. And Anders Cain.
433
00:26:47,476 --> 00:26:50,877
OK. Super duper!
434
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,947
OK, now that Dougie is
retired, we need a new captain,
435
00:26:53,949 --> 00:26:58,384
and I cannot think of a
better leadership tandem...
436
00:26:58,385 --> 00:27:02,021
than Xavier Laflamme with the A,
437
00:27:02,023 --> 00:27:04,223
Anders Cain as captain. There you go.
438
00:27:04,226 --> 00:27:06,930
Alright. (sticks hitting ice)
439
00:27:11,132 --> 00:27:13,633
Alright.
440
00:27:13,634 --> 00:27:16,068
- This ice is shit, fix it.
441
00:27:16,070 --> 00:27:19,541
Perhaps the new captain would like
to say a few words to his team.
442
00:27:21,375 --> 00:27:24,510
You alright, son? - Right. Right.
- Give me something.
443
00:27:24,512 --> 00:27:27,580
- Nothing else fucking
matters if we don't win.
444
00:27:27,583 --> 00:27:32,451
They brought me here to win.
My dad brought me here to win.
445
00:27:32,452 --> 00:27:35,554
That's what we're gonna
fucking do. Anybody here
446
00:27:35,556 --> 00:27:38,925
like fucking sunflower seeds? Well, this
barn's sunflower seeds are fucking winners.
447
00:27:38,927 --> 00:27:42,328
- Hey, hey, hey. - Right? Fuck yeah!
- Great, that's good. Yeah.
448
00:27:42,330 --> 00:27:46,398
- Fucking right, Dad, right?
- Right.
449
00:27:46,401 --> 00:27:50,002
I know many of you... are veterans,
450
00:27:50,005 --> 00:27:53,940
many of you are old friends, many of
you have never worn another sweater;
451
00:27:53,942 --> 00:27:56,642
I'm here to tell you: all
of that gets you nothing.
452
00:27:56,644 --> 00:28:01,047
Produce, you will be rewarded.
Don't, you'll be sent packing. Hey!
453
00:28:01,048 --> 00:28:04,717
- It's a buyers' market out there, so for
most of you, that's your fucking career done.
454
00:28:04,719 --> 00:28:06,256
(rock music)
455
00:28:07,957 --> 00:28:10,289
(players whooping)
456
00:28:10,291 --> 00:28:14,361
Fucked up the first part of this
season. Find a way to be relevant!
457
00:28:14,363 --> 00:28:18,130
Make yourself fucking relevant!
Because from this point on...
458
00:28:18,132 --> 00:28:22,005
- Fuck!
- From where I'm fucking standing...
459
00:28:23,604 --> 00:28:26,640
- Ah, fuck!
- It's Darwin.
460
00:28:26,642 --> 00:28:30,676
- (goalie): Come on, guys! Play!
I'm right here! Play hockey, guys!
461
00:28:30,679 --> 00:28:32,746
Hey!
462
00:28:32,748 --> 00:28:35,984
You! Look alive, man! And
who the fuck is Darwin?
463
00:28:39,755 --> 00:28:41,755
(soft classical music)
464
00:28:41,757 --> 00:28:45,661
(cat meowing and hissing) (clanking)
465
00:28:49,364 --> 00:28:52,669
(man outside moaning
and talking indistinctly)
466
00:28:54,670 --> 00:28:57,770
(soft classical music)
467
00:28:57,772 --> 00:29:00,640
- (reporter): Anders, new team,
new city; any message for the fans?
468
00:29:00,642 --> 00:29:04,510
- They brought me here to win.
469
00:29:04,512 --> 00:29:07,246
- (reporter): Care to confirm or
deny the rumours of your captaincy?
470
00:29:07,248 --> 00:29:09,551
(inaudible whispering)
471
00:29:13,622 --> 00:29:15,755
- It's my team now.
472
00:29:15,757 --> 00:29:19,362
- (reporter): Xavier Laflamme
declined to comment. ♪♪♪
473
00:29:29,537 --> 00:29:32,540
- Ah! (gasping)
474
00:29:51,426 --> 00:29:53,692
(indistinct yoga TV program) Oh!
475
00:29:53,693 --> 00:29:55,661
- What's the bag for?
476
00:29:55,663 --> 00:29:58,731
- These are just documents. It's
a huge bag full of documents.
477
00:29:58,733 --> 00:30:02,669
I'm going to an insurance festival.
- Huh?
478
00:30:02,671 --> 00:30:06,539
- I better go, Eva. It's real late. Bye.
479
00:30:06,541 --> 00:30:09,842
- (TV): You then inhale...
- The fuck?
480
00:30:09,844 --> 00:30:12,213
(indistinct chatter)
481
00:30:13,382 --> 00:30:15,414
(boat horn)
482
00:30:15,416 --> 00:30:18,488
♪♪♪
483
00:30:22,757 --> 00:30:25,294
(distant barking)
484
00:30:36,505 --> 00:30:38,507
- Hello, sir.
485
00:30:41,844 --> 00:30:45,211
- Holy shit on Mary's tits.
486
00:30:45,212 --> 00:30:48,347
Fuck are you doing here?
487
00:30:48,349 --> 00:30:51,153
- Came here to see you.
488
00:30:54,323 --> 00:30:58,224
Got injured. Right arm.
489
00:30:58,227 --> 00:31:01,193
- Yeah, I saw that. Hard lad,
490
00:31:01,195 --> 00:31:03,462
this Anders Cain.
491
00:31:03,464 --> 00:31:06,469
So what are you doing with the hockey bag?
492
00:31:09,836 --> 00:31:14,673
- I wanna be a Highlander again.
- Oh, Jesus, kid. (distant siren blaring)
493
00:31:14,675 --> 00:31:16,642
- Will you train me?
494
00:31:16,644 --> 00:31:20,479
- Train you to what?
- Teach me to fight with my left.
495
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:24,150
(chuckling) Teach me to skate better.
- What the fuck do I know
496
00:31:24,152 --> 00:31:27,655
about skating, Doug? You
see what I do in there.
497
00:31:29,657 --> 00:31:33,826
- We can train another time if
you're not able to right now.
498
00:31:33,827 --> 00:31:36,795
There's a restaurant
nearby that sells hotdogs.
499
00:31:36,797 --> 00:31:39,732
We could just eat those instead.
- Hotdogs? - Yeah.
500
00:31:39,734 --> 00:31:42,768
- It's like a sausage sandwich...
- I know what a fucking hotdog is.
501
00:31:42,769 --> 00:31:45,838
- Looks like a penis.
502
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:47,940
- Jesus Christ.
503
00:31:47,942 --> 00:31:51,744
Alright. Twenty minutes.
504
00:31:51,747 --> 00:31:54,713
We go in there, get it out of our
system, and you go right home, eh?
505
00:31:54,715 --> 00:31:57,353
- Thank you, sir.
506
00:31:59,353 --> 00:32:02,821
- Ah, Goddammit! Not again.
507
00:32:02,824 --> 00:32:06,458
They better not. Fuck this!
508
00:32:06,460 --> 00:32:09,228
AH, SHIT!
509
00:32:09,230 --> 00:32:13,699
Left my fucking bus pass in there.
510
00:32:13,701 --> 00:32:16,969
I NEED MY FUCKING BUS PASS!
511
00:32:16,971 --> 00:32:21,209
- What time is it?
- 11:37. Wait.
512
00:32:23,277 --> 00:32:27,479
11:38.
- Did you just get home?
513
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:31,483
- Yeah. The insurance carnival's long.
514
00:32:31,486 --> 00:32:35,454
I was meeting all these
people who do insurance.
515
00:32:35,457 --> 00:32:38,824
It's really safe.
516
00:32:38,826 --> 00:32:41,760
It's a real thing.
517
00:32:41,762 --> 00:32:44,663
- It doesn't sound like a real thing.
518
00:32:44,664 --> 00:32:47,534
- Uh... (sniffing)
519
00:32:47,536 --> 00:32:50,573
- Mmm, you smell like hotdogs.
520
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,210
- Thank you.
521
00:32:57,345 --> 00:33:00,516
(rock music) (loud ticking)
522
00:33:03,384 --> 00:33:05,451
(Gong!)
523
00:33:05,452 --> 00:33:07,653
- Ugh! Oh!
524
00:33:07,654 --> 00:33:09,788
- (Ross): That's it, rotate.
525
00:33:09,789 --> 00:33:11,824
Rotate. Alright, now, do that left across.
526
00:33:11,826 --> 00:33:14,560
- ♪♪ Sometimes, when your
hopes have all been shattered ♪
527
00:33:14,563 --> 00:33:16,565
♪ There's nowhere to turn ♪
528
00:33:18,700 --> 00:33:21,767
♪ You wonder how you'll keep going ♪
529
00:33:21,769 --> 00:33:24,570
- (McCauley): Halifax Highlanders
and the Hamilton Steelers.
530
00:33:24,573 --> 00:33:27,773
Now Laflamme is rammed on the
corner. He's run into and decked!
531
00:33:27,776 --> 00:33:30,542
- Sorry. Looks like I...
- Tagged ya! Tagged ya again.
532
00:33:30,545 --> 00:33:33,313
- Sorry, bud.
- Stop fucking saying sorry. I'm kicking your ass, boy!
533
00:33:33,315 --> 00:33:35,314
- (McCauley): Now Depere digs
the puck out of the corner,
534
00:33:35,316 --> 00:33:38,751
moves in on the back... He scores!
535
00:33:38,753 --> 00:33:41,920
- Whatever, man, I could have
stopped that with your dick.
536
00:33:41,922 --> 00:33:45,659
- (McCauley): And it is a 3
- nothing lead for Hamilton over Halifax.
537
00:33:45,661 --> 00:33:49,528
(Doug coughing)
- Uppercut.
538
00:33:49,529 --> 00:33:53,932
- ♪ Dare, dare to keep
all your dreams alive ♪
539
00:33:53,933 --> 00:33:56,435
(sighing) ♪ It's time to take ♪
540
00:33:56,438 --> 00:33:59,738
♪ A stand ♪
541
00:33:59,740 --> 00:34:03,075
- (McCauley): The newest
Highlander, Anders Cain, scores!
542
00:34:03,076 --> 00:34:05,943
Quite an individual
effort by Anders Cain!
543
00:34:05,945 --> 00:34:09,914
- Ah, ah. Keep it down,
Dougie. For fuck sake,
544
00:34:09,916 --> 00:34:12,751
how many times do I have
to tell ya? Just the left.
545
00:34:12,753 --> 00:34:16,422
(fast-paced music)
546
00:34:16,423 --> 00:34:18,458
Put some heat on it, boy.
547
00:34:18,460 --> 00:34:20,992
There you go! That's
the one I'm looking for.
548
00:34:20,994 --> 00:34:24,096
- (McCauley): Here's
Anders Cain! He scores!
549
00:34:24,097 --> 00:34:26,097
Anders Cain and... Uh-oh!
550
00:34:26,099 --> 00:34:29,068
Just like that, down goes Davinski.
551
00:34:29,070 --> 00:34:32,038
- Oh, Christ!
- (McCauley): And he'll head straight
552
00:34:32,039 --> 00:34:34,539
to the penalty box.
- FUCK YOU!
553
00:34:34,541 --> 00:34:37,576
- (McCauley): And now,
the Moncton Lords score!
554
00:34:37,577 --> 00:34:39,510
- Fuck!
- Shit game, man.
555
00:34:39,512 --> 00:34:41,780
- (Duffy): Well past the
midpoint of the season, Cain
556
00:34:41,782 --> 00:34:43,548
and the Highlanders continue
to be their own worst enemies
557
00:34:43,550 --> 00:34:45,751
as they remain on
the playoff bubble.
558
00:34:45,753 --> 00:34:47,922
(exhaling forcefully)
559
00:34:50,458 --> 00:34:52,990
- ♪ Dare ♪♪
560
00:34:52,992 --> 00:34:55,094
- Yeah!
561
00:34:55,096 --> 00:34:57,797
You're working your ass off, kid.
562
00:34:57,798 --> 00:35:00,599
There's a ceiling on your skating,
563
00:35:00,601 --> 00:35:02,601
and that left hand's never
gonna be as strong as your right,
564
00:35:02,603 --> 00:35:05,971
but trust me, it will fuck somebody up.
565
00:35:05,972 --> 00:35:08,775
Listen, Dougie, there's
something you might wanna know.
566
00:35:08,777 --> 00:35:11,443
Shit show's moving.
567
00:35:11,445 --> 00:35:15,447
Next Bruised and Battered is
gonna be at the Metro Centre.
568
00:35:15,449 --> 00:35:17,750
You wanna be a Highlander?
That's your ticket.
569
00:35:17,751 --> 00:35:19,786
There's your audition, boy.
570
00:35:19,788 --> 00:35:21,788
Hyrum's gonna be watching.
You could show him
571
00:35:21,789 --> 00:35:24,456
and everyone else you're
still fucking here.
572
00:35:24,458 --> 00:35:27,126
What do you say?
573
00:35:27,128 --> 00:35:29,795
- (Duffy): And while they
keep finding ways to win,
574
00:35:29,797 --> 00:35:32,699
the Highlanders keep
finding ways to lose too.
575
00:35:32,701 --> 00:35:35,601
Many are blaming the hot and
cold play of Anders Cain,
576
00:35:35,603 --> 00:35:37,403
who sits 31st in scoring,
577
00:35:37,405 --> 00:35:39,873
but leads the League
in penalty minutes.
578
00:35:39,875 --> 00:35:42,141
- We've dropped eight
of the last ten. We take
579
00:35:42,143 --> 00:35:44,411
penalties the way other teams change lines.
580
00:35:44,413 --> 00:35:47,483
- I'm trying.
- What do I say?
581
00:35:49,483 --> 00:35:52,018
- Don't fucking try; fucking win.
582
00:35:52,019 --> 00:35:54,920
- Wake 'em the fuck up.
583
00:35:54,922 --> 00:35:57,722
Alright?
- "Wake 'em the fuck up." Yes, sir.
584
00:35:57,724 --> 00:36:00,492
- Good.
585
00:36:00,494 --> 00:36:02,827
Lead these guys.
586
00:36:02,829 --> 00:36:04,563
- That tie is too short, Chad.
587
00:36:04,565 --> 00:36:06,632
- Or I know exactly what
the fuck I'm doing, James.
588
00:36:06,634 --> 00:36:10,635
SportsDesk: we
know exactly what the fuck
589
00:36:10,637 --> 00:36:12,605
we're doing... James.
590
00:36:12,606 --> 00:36:14,606
- Oh, my gosh! Thank God, it feels
591
00:36:14,608 --> 00:36:16,576
so good to be out of the house.
592
00:36:16,577 --> 00:36:19,211
And I am so excited about this
restaurant. Me and the baby
593
00:36:19,213 --> 00:36:22,681
are gonna eat the shit
out of some pad Thai.
594
00:36:22,682 --> 00:36:24,686
Oh, why have we taken
the long way? It's not...
595
00:36:27,489 --> 00:36:29,954
(man laughing) Doug, do you wanna
596
00:36:29,956 --> 00:36:32,858
go in and say a quick hello?
- Well, I'll be honest.
597
00:36:32,860 --> 00:36:35,494
I already ate and I'm already drunk,
so the bar seems to make sense.
598
00:36:35,496 --> 00:36:38,096
- For fuck sake! Man, feels like
599
00:36:38,097 --> 00:36:41,701
it was fucking yesterday that I was...
600
00:36:41,702 --> 00:36:44,503
working here, bartender,
boyfriend who played hockey.
601
00:36:44,505 --> 00:36:47,172
- Yep.
- Now, I'm pregnant and married
602
00:36:47,173 --> 00:36:50,076
to a guy who says we're a
team, but he's always gone,
603
00:36:50,077 --> 00:36:52,244
and for some reason, he
feels he has to hide the fact
604
00:36:52,246 --> 00:36:54,012
that he eats hot dogs.
What the fuck happened?!
605
00:36:54,014 --> 00:36:57,083
Are we these people now?
This is... this is who we are?
606
00:36:57,085 --> 00:36:59,719
- Oh yeah, that's us. You and me, baby.
607
00:36:59,721 --> 00:37:01,721
(indistinct pop song playing)
- No. Me and... Me and Doug.
608
00:37:01,722 --> 00:37:03,755
- Ohhh, I gotta take a piss.
- OK.
609
00:37:03,757 --> 00:37:06,090
- Still got my jacket on. Hahaha!
610
00:37:06,092 --> 00:37:10,128
- Ha!
- Get me another beer. - Yup.
611
00:37:10,130 --> 00:37:13,865
- So, Dougie, how's that new job going?
612
00:37:13,867 --> 00:37:15,567
- Oh, it... it's, oh, fun.
613
00:37:15,568 --> 00:37:17,001
Yeah. There's...
614
00:37:17,003 --> 00:37:19,838
there's all these documents, you know?
615
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:22,673
I get to bring a thermos to work,
616
00:37:22,675 --> 00:37:24,610
which keeps my food hot and cold.
617
00:37:24,612 --> 00:37:27,880
Sometimes, I put hamburgers in there.
618
00:37:27,882 --> 00:37:30,115
It's up to me.
619
00:37:30,117 --> 00:37:33,952
- The way we're playing, we're
all gonna need a new job soon.
620
00:37:33,954 --> 00:37:35,922
- Uh, I suppose I could go back
621
00:37:35,923 --> 00:37:39,224
to Pentecostal summer camp
with my cousin's boyfriend.
622
00:37:39,226 --> 00:37:42,528
- I'm gonna have to move back with Mom.
623
00:37:42,530 --> 00:37:44,896
But don't get me wrong, I love her to bits,
624
00:37:44,898 --> 00:37:48,300
but that bed pan fills up fucking fast.
625
00:37:48,302 --> 00:37:52,574
- I don't want to work at my uncle's eel farm.
- Hm-mm.
626
00:37:55,309 --> 00:37:58,710
- I don't know how to do anything else.
627
00:37:58,711 --> 00:38:01,047
(indistinct chatter)
628
00:38:01,048 --> 00:38:03,215
(sigh)
629
00:38:03,217 --> 00:38:06,286
- Ah, you know, it's just a slump, boys.
630
00:38:06,288 --> 00:38:08,724
She'll pass.
631
00:38:10,724 --> 00:38:13,027
Come on, get 'em in ya!
- Mmm.
632
00:38:15,628 --> 00:38:18,998
- All the drinks in this
country taste like piss.
633
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,967
- Taste like a Kazakh shit in my mouth.
634
00:38:21,969 --> 00:38:25,836
(slurping)
- Oh, that tastes like burps.
635
00:38:25,838 --> 00:38:28,976
(soft music)
636
00:38:40,086 --> 00:38:42,086
- Welcome home, kid.
637
00:38:42,088 --> 00:38:44,123
- Thanks.
638
00:38:44,125 --> 00:38:46,128
- Big night, eh? Everybody watching.
639
00:38:48,730 --> 00:38:51,329
Don't worry, you'll be
fine. What poor bastard
640
00:38:51,331 --> 00:38:53,298
they got you matched up with tonight?
641
00:38:53,300 --> 00:38:55,835
- Didn't they tell you?
The format's been changed.
642
00:38:55,836 --> 00:38:58,971
- Changed to what?
- (announcer): Ladies
643
00:38:58,972 --> 00:39:01,641
and gentlemen, the Bruised
and Battered Competition
644
00:39:01,643 --> 00:39:04,108
is proud to bring you
tonight's special event.
645
00:39:04,110 --> 00:39:06,644
Ten fighters, one rink, one fight
646
00:39:06,646 --> 00:39:09,315
in our first ever Battle Royale!
647
00:39:09,317 --> 00:39:13,385
- Let's fucking go!
- Are you ready?
648
00:39:13,387 --> 00:39:16,121
Are you ready?
649
00:39:16,123 --> 00:39:18,990
- Really bad idea.
650
00:39:18,992 --> 00:39:22,262
- Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
651
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,365
- AAAAAH!
- AAAAAH!
652
00:39:27,367 --> 00:39:29,768
(blows whistle) (electronic music)
653
00:39:29,769 --> 00:39:32,672
(crowd cheering)
654
00:39:32,673 --> 00:39:34,976
- Oh, jeez! Oh, jeez! Oh, jeez!
655
00:39:38,177 --> 00:39:41,278
- AH!
- Jesus Christ on a bike!
656
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,318
(fighting exertions)
- Fuck you, Glatt!
657
00:39:58,065 --> 00:40:00,985
- The fuck are we doing here?
- I don't know, I went to fucking Princeton.
658
00:40:12,012 --> 00:40:14,246
- You look like Super Mario.
659
00:40:14,248 --> 00:40:16,617
Hey, Andrew.
660
00:40:20,119 --> 00:40:22,355
- My fuck, can he still bang.
661
00:40:22,356 --> 00:40:26,061
(electronic music) (fighting exertions)
662
00:40:29,996 --> 00:40:33,367
- Here, big guy. What are you,
like, fucking 15 years old?
663
00:40:35,869 --> 00:40:40,306
- AAAAH!
- (crowd chanting): Ross! Ross!
664
00:40:40,307 --> 00:40:42,407
- I think he had enough. (Ross grunting)
665
00:40:42,409 --> 00:40:44,811
Let me go. Let me go.
I'm the ref, let me go!
666
00:40:47,947 --> 00:40:50,715
- Fuck it!
- Ugh!
667
00:40:50,717 --> 00:40:52,719
(Doug panting)
668
00:40:52,721 --> 00:40:55,356
- (spectator): Woohoo! Get out of here!
669
00:40:57,324 --> 00:40:59,961
- (spectator): You're one
tough motherfucker, Dougie!
670
00:41:03,262 --> 00:41:05,298
(Ross sighing) (crowd cheering)
671
00:41:15,275 --> 00:41:18,978
- Hey, kid.
- Hi, sir.
672
00:41:18,980 --> 00:41:21,179
You all right? (Ross chuckling)
673
00:41:21,181 --> 00:41:23,248
(Ross snorting)
674
00:41:23,250 --> 00:41:25,250
- Yeah.
675
00:41:25,251 --> 00:41:27,286
I've been better.
676
00:41:27,288 --> 00:41:30,454
- (crowd): Fight! Fight! Fight!
- (Ross): Ah, fuck.
677
00:41:30,456 --> 00:41:32,423
- (crowd): Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
678
00:41:32,425 --> 00:41:35,327
- Let's not reinvent the wheel here, eh?
679
00:41:35,329 --> 00:41:37,896
- (crowd): Thug! Thug! Thug! Thug! Thug!
680
00:41:37,898 --> 00:41:40,298
Thug! Thug! Thug! Thug! Thug!
681
00:41:40,300 --> 00:41:42,300
- Wait, wait.
682
00:41:42,302 --> 00:41:45,170
(crowd sighing) Got you, buddy.
683
00:41:45,172 --> 00:41:47,972
I think we should leave. (crowd booing)
684
00:41:47,974 --> 00:41:49,974
I got you.
685
00:41:49,976 --> 00:41:53,278
♪♪♪
686
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,451
(cracking sound)
687
00:42:02,523 --> 00:42:05,056
- Oh!
688
00:42:05,057 --> 00:42:09,027
That was a fucking shit show, eh?
689
00:42:09,028 --> 00:42:11,032
Not exactly playing hockey, is it?
690
00:42:14,867 --> 00:42:16,835
Thanks, kid.
691
00:42:16,836 --> 00:42:19,105
You had my back out there.
692
00:42:19,106 --> 00:42:23,010
I owe ya. (Ross coughing)
693
00:42:25,346 --> 00:42:27,813
- Maybe I should take you to the doctor.
694
00:42:27,815 --> 00:42:29,815
- What for?
695
00:42:29,817 --> 00:42:32,983
So he can tell me I got
post-concussion syndrome?
696
00:42:32,985 --> 00:42:35,487
One more bad hit, and then you're done?
697
00:42:35,489 --> 00:42:37,489
It's not fucking soccer, Dougie.
698
00:42:37,490 --> 00:42:39,860
Been hearing that shit for a decade now.
699
00:42:42,329 --> 00:42:44,398
- Doesn't sound very good.
700
00:42:47,134 --> 00:42:50,202
- You looked mean out there, kiddo.
701
00:42:50,204 --> 00:42:53,275
Young Anders better watch his ass.
702
00:42:56,876 --> 00:42:59,244
(Petrov laughing)
703
00:42:59,246 --> 00:43:01,313
- Lead these guys! Lead these guys!
704
00:43:01,315 --> 00:43:04,016
Fuck, what would a leader do?
What would a fucking leader do
705
00:43:04,018 --> 00:43:07,286
right now? Alright! Alright! Listen up!
706
00:43:07,288 --> 00:43:09,554
Captain speaking! Captain time!
707
00:43:09,556 --> 00:43:12,123
Off your fucking phone, Laflamme! Get off!
708
00:43:12,125 --> 00:43:14,025
- (whispering): Turn it off.
- You turn the fucking puck
709
00:43:14,027 --> 00:43:16,362
over in the neutral zone one
more time, and I'll teach you
710
00:43:16,364 --> 00:43:18,431
a fucking lesson you'll
never forget. Got it?
711
00:43:18,432 --> 00:43:19,998
- The fuck you just said?
712
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,601
- And you KHL-garbage-
bullshit-Ukrainian-
713
00:43:22,603 --> 00:43:24,869
fuck-hockey-league-
Chernobyl-disaster
714
00:43:24,871 --> 00:43:27,940
fucks, you turn that fucking
puck over one more time,
715
00:43:27,942 --> 00:43:30,608
and I'll fucking kill both of you! And you!
716
00:43:30,610 --> 00:43:33,945
- Yeah?
- Hey, fuck, I don't even know, fuck you!
717
00:43:33,947 --> 00:43:36,449
Fuck you!
- Hey!
718
00:43:36,451 --> 00:43:39,117
Be nice.
719
00:43:39,119 --> 00:43:42,554
What?
720
00:43:42,556 --> 00:43:45,324
Be...
721
00:43:45,326 --> 00:43:48,260
nice.
722
00:43:48,262 --> 00:43:52,463
(Anders roaring) (Stevenson screaming)
723
00:43:52,465 --> 00:43:56,434
- WHOOO! WHOOOO! Fuck yeah!
724
00:43:56,436 --> 00:43:58,903
That's what I'm talking about! Sports!
725
00:43:58,905 --> 00:44:02,340
You miss fucking Doug Glatt? You
think he gives two fucking shits
726
00:44:02,342 --> 00:44:07,045
about you guys? I care! I fucking care!
727
00:44:07,047 --> 00:44:09,181
We're gonna do this together!
Highlanders on three!
728
00:44:09,182 --> 00:44:11,250
(Petrov laughing) One, two, three,
729
00:44:11,251 --> 00:44:14,119
Highlanders! My line starts.
730
00:44:14,121 --> 00:44:16,454
See? He gets it. He fucking gets it!
731
00:44:16,456 --> 00:44:18,958
He smiles! He fucking gets it!
732
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:23,295
Fuck! No! No more fucking candies!
733
00:44:23,297 --> 00:44:25,530
What the fuck! Holy shit!
734
00:44:25,532 --> 00:44:27,536
(Petrov laughing)
735
00:44:29,536 --> 00:44:32,369
(techno music) (crowd cheering)
- (McCauley): Highlanders
736
00:44:32,371 --> 00:44:35,641
lead Newark 1-nothing thanks
to a goal by Anders Cain.
737
00:44:35,643 --> 00:44:38,043
Anders Cain wants
it badly; he shoved
738
00:44:38,045 --> 00:44:40,945
his own teammate aside.
Now, the captain waits.
739
00:44:40,947 --> 00:44:43,048
Cain takes a good look up the ice.
740
00:44:43,050 --> 00:44:45,250
Down at the other end
is Laflamme hovering
741
00:44:45,251 --> 00:44:48,987
in the neutral zone. Cain works it
up, Laflamme well ahead. No, no, no!
742
00:44:48,989 --> 00:44:52,222
- (McCauley): In a suicide pass,
Laflamme is decked by Balako!
743
00:44:52,224 --> 00:44:54,125
- Fuck!
- Fucking cunt!
744
00:44:54,126 --> 00:44:57,528
- (McCauley): Down on the ice is
Laflamme. He's spitting blood.
745
00:44:57,530 --> 00:45:00,597
Here's Cain and Stevenson
going at the goal!
746
00:45:00,599 --> 00:45:03,001
Anders Cain absolutely...
- What are you doing?!
747
00:45:03,003 --> 00:45:05,436
- (McCauley): levels the
Newark goalie and Stevenson.
748
00:45:05,438 --> 00:45:08,708
- Fuck me!
- Now Cain draws a crowd.
749
00:45:08,710 --> 00:45:12,043
Cain decks one, decks two.
750
00:45:12,045 --> 00:45:15,047
And Cain stood up to the world.
751
00:45:15,048 --> 00:45:17,750
- Your kid finally got suspended, OK?
752
00:45:17,751 --> 00:45:20,117
He's destroying this team.
- What's that?
753
00:45:20,119 --> 00:45:22,619
You heard me, you little shit.
- Tread lightly, Ron.
754
00:45:22,621 --> 00:45:25,289
- Hyrum, did you not see
the same fucking hockey game
755
00:45:25,291 --> 00:45:27,259
that I saw last night?
Did you see that game?
756
00:45:27,260 --> 00:45:29,260
- Yeah, I did. I saw compete.
757
00:45:29,262 --> 00:45:31,128
It was misdirected, but I saw compete.
758
00:45:31,130 --> 00:45:33,132
- The dressing room's in
the shitter. It's tighter
759
00:45:33,134 --> 00:45:35,099
than a nun's cunt in
there. There's no chatter;
760
00:45:35,101 --> 00:45:37,103
the boys feel like they're
on the chopping block.
761
00:45:37,105 --> 00:45:39,304
- They... they need someone
to pull 'em together.
762
00:45:39,306 --> 00:45:42,574
And time after time after time,
he's proven he's not the fucking guy.
763
00:45:42,576 --> 00:45:45,110
- Oh, what? So it's my fault the fucking
764
00:45:45,112 --> 00:45:47,248
amateur-hour limp-dick...
- Anders!
765
00:45:51,152 --> 00:45:53,617
What about Doug?
- Doug, Doug?!
766
00:45:53,619 --> 00:45:57,056
- Maybe I was wrong about him.
767
00:45:57,057 --> 00:46:01,126
I saw him at the shit show the
other night. He looked mean.
768
00:46:01,128 --> 00:46:03,561
- What? Really? - (Hyrum): Yeah.
- We thought he was done.
769
00:46:03,563 --> 00:46:06,097
- Yeah, 'cause I fucking made him done.
770
00:46:06,099 --> 00:46:08,099
- Alright. Alright. Well then,
771
00:46:08,101 --> 00:46:10,335
maybe we bring him back to practice, eh?
772
00:46:10,336 --> 00:46:14,105
And we'll give him a shot,
see if he's got what it takes.
773
00:46:14,106 --> 00:46:16,474
But we saw what he did to him;
so what's that dressing room
774
00:46:16,476 --> 00:46:18,376
gonna look like with him and Glatt in it?
775
00:46:18,378 --> 00:46:21,413
- I think we should find out.
- Fuck me!
776
00:46:21,414 --> 00:46:24,715
- Fuck you then, 'cause we're doing it.
777
00:46:24,717 --> 00:46:27,521
(car honking) (rock music)
778
00:46:30,289 --> 00:46:32,360
(indistinct chatter)
779
00:46:36,596 --> 00:46:39,530
- ♪ Baby, it's nice to have you here ♪
780
00:46:39,532 --> 00:46:42,500
♪ Right now ♪
781
00:46:42,501 --> 00:46:45,237
♪ Baby, it's nice to feel you near ♪
782
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:47,608
- Oh, my Lordy! It's Doug!
783
00:46:49,509 --> 00:46:51,576
- Jesus, Stevie, you fell in the garbage.
784
00:46:51,577 --> 00:46:54,079
- (Stevenson): I'm OK.
- Welcome back, Dougie.
785
00:46:54,081 --> 00:46:56,481
- Welcome home, Dougie.
- Welcome home, Doug.
786
00:46:56,483 --> 00:47:00,184
- Thanks, bud.
- Number 69.
787
00:47:00,186 --> 00:47:02,454
Now we're talking.
- Fucking right.
788
00:47:02,456 --> 00:47:06,625
- OK, boys.
789
00:47:06,626 --> 00:47:09,561
This is a big day. First
off, we're gonna welcome back
790
00:47:09,563 --> 00:47:12,463
Dougie. We're gonna see if
he's fit enough to play. Right?
791
00:47:12,465 --> 00:47:14,500
(applause and cheering)
- Fucking right! - Good luck, bud.
792
00:47:14,501 --> 00:47:16,469
- Thank you, guys.
793
00:47:16,471 --> 00:47:19,804
I'm so happy to be back
here and have a chance to...
794
00:47:19,806 --> 00:47:22,106
to... be back here?
795
00:47:22,108 --> 00:47:24,777
- (whispering): It's good. OK!
796
00:47:24,778 --> 00:47:27,278
I'm so fucking excited to tell you this.
797
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:29,547
Favourite part of the practice for me:
798
00:47:29,548 --> 00:47:31,483
puke time, suicides.
799
00:47:31,485 --> 00:47:33,485
- Let's give her.
- Lace 'em up.
800
00:47:33,487 --> 00:47:35,155
- Hand of iron.
- Let's go, boys!
801
00:47:36,155 --> 00:47:38,556
- Jew of iron.
802
00:47:38,557 --> 00:47:40,291
- Sorry, I smell like garbage.
803
00:47:40,293 --> 00:47:41,860
- Ha!
- See you out there.
804
00:47:41,862 --> 00:47:44,797
- So glad to see you,
man. I totally thought
805
00:47:44,798 --> 00:47:47,068
you were transitioning.
806
00:47:51,204 --> 00:47:54,405
- You're not home.
807
00:47:54,407 --> 00:47:56,577
Your fucking jersey, you
idiot. you're not home.
808
00:48:07,355 --> 00:48:09,391
Shouldn't have come back, Doug.
809
00:48:11,391 --> 00:48:14,096
Shouldn't have come back...
810
00:48:17,630 --> 00:48:20,231
- They gave you my C.
811
00:48:20,233 --> 00:48:24,469
- I think you gave me your C, bud.
812
00:48:24,471 --> 00:48:26,771
- Captain doesn't cheap shot...
813
00:48:26,773 --> 00:48:29,875
Doesn't try to end careers.
814
00:48:29,876 --> 00:48:33,278
- You think you're a hockey
player? That's fucking funny.
815
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:36,851
(Anders laughing) (sinister music)
816
00:48:39,519 --> 00:48:42,653
See, Doug... I just do
817
00:48:42,655 --> 00:48:44,657
whatever my team needs me to do.
818
00:48:50,963 --> 00:48:53,431
See you out there, bud.
- Hmm.
819
00:48:53,432 --> 00:48:55,436
- You look good. Your face looks better.
820
00:48:57,771 --> 00:48:59,704
- OK, lads. Some of "youse"
821
00:48:59,706 --> 00:49:01,673
have a little rust. (Anders sniffling)
822
00:49:01,675 --> 00:49:04,210
We're gonna work some of that
rust off right fucking now.
823
00:49:04,211 --> 00:49:06,545
OK? We're gonna play some shutdown hockey.
824
00:49:06,547 --> 00:49:09,547
- Let's keep it clean, fellas.
You're all on the same team here.
825
00:49:09,548 --> 00:49:11,481
- OK? (clanking)
826
00:49:11,483 --> 00:49:14,519
(rock music) Jesus fucking Christ.
827
00:49:14,521 --> 00:49:17,422
- Don't mind me.
- We won't. Let's go!
828
00:49:17,423 --> 00:49:20,693
- Let's go around, boys.
The pattern. Good job.
829
00:49:28,467 --> 00:49:30,503
- Move your feet, boys! Move your feet!
830
00:49:32,639 --> 00:49:34,572
- Don't get poked!
831
00:49:34,574 --> 00:49:38,543
- MOVE IT!
- Keep your head up! (indistinct shouting)
832
00:49:38,545 --> 00:49:41,346
- Fuck off! Dammit! Fuck it!
- Whoo!
833
00:49:41,347 --> 00:49:44,882
- Come on, man!
834
00:49:44,884 --> 00:49:47,454
(rock music)
835
00:49:49,722 --> 00:49:52,557
- Nice, Dougie.
- Good job!
836
00:49:52,559 --> 00:49:55,693
(cheering)
- Yeah!
837
00:49:55,695 --> 00:49:58,695
- The old boys are looking good.
- Fuck!
838
00:49:58,697 --> 00:50:02,400
- Nice, Dougie!
- Whoo!
839
00:50:02,402 --> 00:50:05,036
- Fuck!
- Next goal wins!
840
00:50:05,038 --> 00:50:08,507
- "Next goal wins," what
is this? Street hockey?
841
00:50:08,509 --> 00:50:10,875
- Car!
- Let's get up, baby! Hustle!
842
00:50:10,876 --> 00:50:13,311
- Let's go! Let's go! (rock music)
843
00:50:13,313 --> 00:50:15,780
- Anders, work! They're
making you look bad!
844
00:50:15,782 --> 00:50:19,050
- Game on!
- Mom's got hot chocolate at our place after.
845
00:50:19,052 --> 00:50:21,653
- Loser brings an orange
ball from Canadian Tire!
846
00:50:21,655 --> 00:50:23,655
- "Next goal wins" is a thing. That's...
847
00:50:23,657 --> 00:50:27,826
that's not just road hockey;
that... that is a thing.
848
00:50:27,827 --> 00:50:29,760
- Whoo! -
Hey-hey-hey-hey!
849
00:50:29,762 --> 00:50:32,463
Hey! - Come on! You're gonna
fucking turtle on me?
850
00:50:32,465 --> 00:50:34,699
- Hey!
- Come on, Dougie, round two.
851
00:50:34,701 --> 00:50:36,534
- Puck's at your feet!
You play to the whistle!
852
00:50:36,536 --> 00:50:38,635
- Come on, Dougie. Come on!
- Dougie, here!
853
00:50:38,637 --> 00:50:41,606
- Shoot the puck, boys!
- The fuck!
854
00:50:41,608 --> 00:50:44,342
(cheering)
855
00:50:44,344 --> 00:50:47,846
- There you go! Next goal wins it, right?
- Hahaha! Go, Dougie!
856
00:50:47,847 --> 00:50:50,748
- Haha!
- Fuck!
857
00:50:50,750 --> 00:50:54,085
- Jesus Christ, man!
858
00:50:54,086 --> 00:50:57,021
- Hey, Hyrum, what kind of
marshmallows do you like?
859
00:50:57,023 --> 00:51:01,092
- Go fuck yourself.
- Boys, bring it in.
860
00:51:01,094 --> 00:51:05,762
Good hustle, eh? Good hustle, heart;
861
00:51:05,764 --> 00:51:07,731
that's what it takes to win. You guys
862
00:51:07,733 --> 00:51:10,434
are getting first shift tonight. Belchy,
863
00:51:10,436 --> 00:51:12,903
you nut, don't wander. You're starting.
864
00:51:12,905 --> 00:51:15,539
- Fucking right, Coach.
It's Canadian fucking hockey!
865
00:51:15,541 --> 00:51:19,344
- OK. Dougie. Welcome back, son.
866
00:51:19,346 --> 00:51:20,778
(sticks hitting ice)
- Hear, hear.
867
00:51:20,780 --> 00:51:23,949
- Welcome back. Pump.
- Boys!
868
00:51:23,951 --> 00:51:26,021
(indistinct PA system message)
869
00:51:28,021 --> 00:51:31,722
- Doug! Where were you? They
called our names to go in.
870
00:51:31,724 --> 00:51:35,559
- I'm sorry, Eva. I'll
explain when I'm less sweaty.
871
00:51:35,561 --> 00:51:37,663
Hey, triceratops.
872
00:51:37,664 --> 00:51:39,931
It's my favourite dinosaur.
873
00:51:39,932 --> 00:51:42,032
Remember how I keep saying that work is fun
874
00:51:42,034 --> 00:51:43,867
and there's all these documents?
875
00:51:43,869 --> 00:51:45,869
Well, that's, like, only half true,
876
00:51:45,871 --> 00:51:48,905
because it's not fun. At all.
877
00:51:48,907 --> 00:51:51,777
I just don't think that the
insurance bug has truly laid
878
00:51:51,778 --> 00:51:54,980
its eggs inside of me. (Beep!)
879
00:51:54,981 --> 00:51:56,914
- OK.
880
00:51:56,916 --> 00:51:58,916
So...
881
00:51:58,918 --> 00:52:02,820
I mean, who said you had to sell insurance?
882
00:52:02,822 --> 00:52:05,722
I never told you that.
883
00:52:05,724 --> 00:52:08,659
And I only got you those
bloody business cards
884
00:52:08,661 --> 00:52:10,596
'cause I was trying to
be cute or some shit.
885
00:52:10,597 --> 00:52:13,000
- The Highlanders still need me.
886
00:52:16,568 --> 00:52:19,637
- We're supposed to
be doing this together,
887
00:52:19,639 --> 00:52:21,972
like a team. Neither of us are
888
00:52:21,974 --> 00:52:25,610
just making decisions
for ourselves anymore.
889
00:52:25,612 --> 00:52:28,179
A lot of shit affects both of us.
- (doctor): Ahem!
890
00:52:28,181 --> 00:52:30,516
(touching music) (heart beating)
891
00:52:35,989 --> 00:52:38,722
- Look at her. Look at what we did.
892
00:52:38,724 --> 00:52:41,492
- Yeah.
893
00:52:41,494 --> 00:52:44,128
She looks like a beautiful,
tiny mushroom person.
894
00:52:44,130 --> 00:52:46,400
- She's so cool.
895
00:52:50,670 --> 00:52:53,438
Just... it was different
896
00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:55,641
watching you beat the piss out of guys
897
00:52:55,643 --> 00:52:57,942
before I actually knew you. I mean,
898
00:52:57,943 --> 00:53:00,510
I fucking loved it, obviously.
899
00:53:00,512 --> 00:53:03,681
Part of what made me dig
you in the first place.
900
00:53:03,682 --> 00:53:07,219
But the fucking very moment
I fell in love with you,
901
00:53:07,221 --> 00:53:09,653
it got scary.
902
00:53:09,655 --> 00:53:12,023
Now you're my husband, and...
903
00:53:12,025 --> 00:53:14,561
we've got...
904
00:53:16,695 --> 00:53:19,463
This is big shit, Doug.
905
00:53:19,465 --> 00:53:22,000
- I know it is.
906
00:53:22,001 --> 00:53:24,202
- I love you
907
00:53:24,204 --> 00:53:28,739
and if you wanna do something, then...
908
00:53:28,740 --> 00:53:31,675
I'm with you.
909
00:53:31,677 --> 00:53:35,079
But I can't be scared shitless
every time you go out there.
910
00:53:35,081 --> 00:53:37,715
So what I mean is
911
00:53:37,717 --> 00:53:40,652
if you wanna be a Highlander again,
912
00:53:40,653 --> 00:53:42,855
then go and be a Highlander again.
913
00:53:42,856 --> 00:53:45,655
I'll support you,
914
00:53:45,657 --> 00:53:47,826
but you have to do one thing for me.
915
00:53:47,827 --> 00:53:51,262
- I would do anything for you, Eva.
916
00:53:51,264 --> 00:53:54,932
- Don't fight.
917
00:53:54,934 --> 00:53:57,268
- What?
918
00:53:57,269 --> 00:54:00,038
- I've seen you make hits
919
00:54:00,039 --> 00:54:02,875
and kill penalties and block shots
920
00:54:02,876 --> 00:54:05,978
with your face.
921
00:54:05,980 --> 00:54:08,144
I'm trying, but you gotta meet me halfway,
922
00:54:08,146 --> 00:54:11,018
and... and not fight.
923
00:54:15,556 --> 00:54:19,155
And you're more than that.
924
00:54:19,157 --> 00:54:21,527
- OK.
925
00:54:21,528 --> 00:54:24,730
- Thank you, Doug.
926
00:54:24,731 --> 00:54:28,536
- Thank you, Eva.
927
00:54:30,802 --> 00:54:33,538
- Come on, you can't quit on me now!
928
00:54:33,539 --> 00:54:35,641
What about all our adventures?
929
00:54:35,643 --> 00:54:38,809
Remember that one time I
thought you had a watch?
930
00:54:38,811 --> 00:54:41,945
Are you just gonna throw that away?
931
00:54:41,947 --> 00:54:43,981
- Sorry, Bob Forbes. I don't know
932
00:54:43,983 --> 00:54:45,884
anything about documents.
933
00:54:45,885 --> 00:54:48,019
- What, you think I do?! Somebody gives me
934
00:54:48,021 --> 00:54:50,121
a document, I go hmm-hmm,
935
00:54:50,123 --> 00:54:52,856
give it to another guy!
It's how insurance works!
936
00:54:52,858 --> 00:54:55,092
God dammit!
937
00:54:55,094 --> 00:54:57,327
Oh!
938
00:54:57,329 --> 00:54:59,896
Ah, I can't say I'm not sad to see you go,
939
00:54:59,898 --> 00:55:01,965
but if you change your mind, just know
940
00:55:01,967 --> 00:55:04,128
you always got a spot here
in the storage shed, Dennis.
941
00:55:06,673 --> 00:55:08,773
He's, he's staying. No, he's gone. Shit.
942
00:55:08,775 --> 00:55:11,675
Aaaah!
943
00:55:11,677 --> 00:55:14,248
Always driving away the ones you love.
944
00:55:16,282 --> 00:55:19,349
Yeah, that ought to hold. Jesus Christ!
945
00:55:19,351 --> 00:55:22,253
Ugh! Ah!
946
00:55:22,255 --> 00:55:25,824
- ♪♪ Let me try you love Yes
babe, I'm waiting please don't stop ♪
947
00:55:25,826 --> 00:55:29,193
(cell phone dinging) ♪ Hey
guys, all your love forever ♪
948
00:55:29,195 --> 00:55:33,164
♪ Let me try you love Yes babe,
I'm waiting please don't stop ♪
949
00:55:33,166 --> 00:55:35,298
♪ Hey guys, all your love forever ♪♪
950
00:55:35,300 --> 00:55:37,168
- Hey. How's your arm?
951
00:55:37,170 --> 00:55:39,139
- Good. Thank you. How's your arm?
952
00:55:41,740 --> 00:55:43,807
- Listen, uh, everybody's rusty
953
00:55:43,809 --> 00:55:46,143
their first game. It's OK. OK?
954
00:55:46,144 --> 00:55:48,148
(Laflamme clicks his tongue)
955
00:55:51,117 --> 00:55:54,885
- Fuck.
956
00:55:54,887 --> 00:55:56,387
- (together): Belchy!
957
00:55:56,389 --> 00:55:59,891
- We are very much happy
you are playing again.
958
00:55:59,893 --> 00:56:03,661
- This is our gift to you. Sandwich.
959
00:56:03,663 --> 00:56:06,262
- This is you upon receipt of sandwich.
960
00:56:06,264 --> 00:56:08,099
- Smiling?
- Mm-hmm.
961
00:56:08,101 --> 00:56:10,570
- Happy cartoon.
962
00:56:12,771 --> 00:56:15,873
- Fucking A, man. That
feels fucking right.
963
00:56:15,875 --> 00:56:19,043
We needed this, man. You two
fucking buffoons are standing there
964
00:56:19,045 --> 00:56:21,077
with your giant dicks.
I mean, that's a fucking
965
00:56:21,079 --> 00:56:23,414
sturgeon, man. Jesus
Christ! I tell ya, man,
966
00:56:23,416 --> 00:56:25,916
I always think you're gonna
fucking prank me or whatever,
967
00:56:25,918 --> 00:56:27,751
you know, or you're gonna say your shit
968
00:56:27,753 --> 00:56:29,721
about my fucking mom, which, you know...
969
00:56:29,722 --> 00:56:32,423
- No, no, no, no. We
respect your mother now.
970
00:56:32,425 --> 00:56:36,161
She's becoming very open-minded.
971
00:56:36,163 --> 00:56:38,730
- Yeah, man. Alright.
She's been working on that.
972
00:56:38,731 --> 00:56:41,164
- Mm
- hmm. Big cream pie,
973
00:56:41,166 --> 00:56:44,869
pearl fucking necklace.
- Golden showers,
974
00:56:44,871 --> 00:56:47,038
double penetration.
975
00:56:47,039 --> 00:56:49,106
- Double penetration.
976
00:56:49,108 --> 00:56:51,242
No butt, just vagina.
977
00:56:51,244 --> 00:56:53,744
Two penis, one hole.
978
00:56:53,746 --> 00:56:57,347
- Yes. Worm, worm...
- (together): kisses.
979
00:56:57,349 --> 00:56:59,684
- Deep inside your mother.
980
00:56:59,686 --> 00:57:02,286
Ay, ay, ay, ay...
- (both): Ohhh!
981
00:57:02,288 --> 00:57:05,856
- The fuck is that?! Worm,
worm? Fuck, you two, man!
982
00:57:05,858 --> 00:57:08,726
- You understand. We are brothers;
983
00:57:08,728 --> 00:57:10,929
we power-fuck your mother.
984
00:57:10,931 --> 00:57:13,097
- You know, I'm an idiot
for fucking even trusting you
985
00:57:13,099 --> 00:57:17,001
for a second, you Ruski
fucking pricks. The best revenge
986
00:57:17,003 --> 00:57:20,971
is living well. I'm not
stooping to your fucking level.
987
00:57:20,972 --> 00:57:23,474
- The mayonnaise is semen.
- What?!
988
00:57:23,476 --> 00:57:26,748
- Semen.
- You know, ejaculate.
989
00:57:29,048 --> 00:57:31,083
- (Duffy): Doug Blatt is
a Highlander once more.
990
00:57:31,085 --> 00:57:34,452
With just a quarter of the
season left, Hyrum Cain seems
991
00:57:34,454 --> 00:57:37,153
to be trying a hail-Mary
move by bringing back a man
992
00:57:37,155 --> 00:57:40,125
known for his fists and,
frankly, not much else.
993
00:57:40,126 --> 00:57:43,327
- No. Considering this will be Glatt's
994
00:57:43,329 --> 00:57:45,396
first hockey game since being
knocked out by his now teammate,
995
00:57:45,398 --> 00:57:48,132
the currently suspended
Anders Cain, this should make
996
00:57:48,134 --> 00:57:50,268
for an interesting
locker-room dynamic
997
00:57:50,269 --> 00:57:54,239
and even more awkward
Cain-family Boxing Day. I mean,
998
00:57:54,240 --> 00:57:57,141
that household is a fucking disaster.
999
00:57:57,143 --> 00:57:59,009
- Just read the prompter, man.
1000
00:57:59,010 --> 00:58:01,512
- No. I say what I want, James,
1001
00:58:01,514 --> 00:58:04,347
because I got a pair of
balls, not two pieces of pussy.
1002
00:58:04,349 --> 00:58:06,117
- How long is this gonna happen for?
1003
00:58:06,119 --> 00:58:08,085
- For as long as it takes.
1004
00:58:08,086 --> 00:58:10,355
SportsDesk, we'll
take as long as it takes.
1005
00:58:10,356 --> 00:58:13,759
(audio feedback) SportsDesk,
1006
00:58:13,760 --> 00:58:15,429
fuck yeah. (SportsDesk theme music)
1007
00:58:17,028 --> 00:58:20,264
- Alright, OK. Fuck it.
- Ah! Off the belly!
1008
00:58:20,266 --> 00:58:23,501
In the ear!
- Ow! Alright, no.
1009
00:58:23,503 --> 00:58:27,204
- Doug with that big dick!
- (McCauley): With just 20 games left in the regular season...
1010
00:58:27,206 --> 00:58:29,273
- Too much?
- It's not...
1011
00:58:29,275 --> 00:58:32,009
- (McCauley): Still on the bubble.
The Halifax faithful are hoping
1012
00:58:32,010 --> 00:58:35,346
the Thug can do his part to
get them back to the playoffs.
1013
00:58:35,347 --> 00:58:37,280
To the St. John's Shamrocks.
1014
00:58:37,282 --> 00:58:39,983
The Shamrocks bring it
out of their own zone.
1015
00:58:39,985 --> 00:58:42,920
Here's the pass up
the wing. Oh, baby!
1016
00:58:42,922 --> 00:58:46,391
Doug Glatt's return
continues to electrify
1017
00:58:46,393 --> 00:58:49,126
his crowd and his team.
(indistinct hip-hop song)
1018
00:58:49,128 --> 00:58:51,961
St. John still with a man
advantage. Laflamme getting up,
1019
00:58:51,963 --> 00:58:54,266
getting ready to go.
Anders Cain, no help
1020
00:58:54,268 --> 00:58:56,500
tonight as he has been suspended.
1021
00:58:56,501 --> 00:59:00,038
Five seconds to go on the
St. John's power play,
1022
00:59:00,039 --> 00:59:01,873
and somehow, Halifax
have been able to keep
1023
00:59:01,875 --> 00:59:05,009
this game tied at zero.
Now, Laflamme steps out
1024
00:59:05,010 --> 00:59:06,911
on the ice. Halifax
with the heat on.
1025
00:59:06,913 --> 00:59:09,114
Carlson looking back, takes the puck
1026
00:59:09,115 --> 00:59:11,215
at the blue line. Now, Carlson,
1027
00:59:11,217 --> 00:59:13,753
he's got a cannon, he winds it up.
1028
00:59:16,355 --> 00:59:19,891
Oh boy! Everyone, check
your asses for monkeys!
1029
00:59:19,893 --> 00:59:22,425
Xavier Laflamme blocking a shot?
1030
00:59:22,427 --> 00:59:24,362
Now with it is Stevenson.
Stevenson moves down
1031
00:59:24,364 --> 00:59:26,530
deep into the corner.
1032
00:59:26,532 --> 00:59:28,500
- Oh, you're crying. What's
that, you little bitch? Huh?
1033
00:59:28,501 --> 00:59:30,534
(indistinct taunting)
1034
00:59:30,536 --> 00:59:32,469
- I'm so exhausted!
1035
00:59:32,471 --> 00:59:34,538
Gatorade!
- Where's the puck?
1036
00:59:34,539 --> 00:59:36,606
- (McCauley): And now Glatt
decides, I'm a little thirsty.
1037
00:59:36,608 --> 00:59:39,344
- Ref, ref, ref!
- Sorry, bud, I'm super thirsty.
1038
00:59:39,346 --> 00:59:42,047
- Meanwhile, Stevenson
comes out of the corner.
1039
00:59:42,048 --> 00:59:44,516
He scores! (crowd cheering)
1040
00:59:44,518 --> 00:59:46,518
- He fucking drank it! He
took that fucking bottle!
1041
00:59:47,452 --> 00:59:50,253
- Yeah!
- (McCauley): Well, I suppose there's no rule
1042
00:59:50,255 --> 00:59:52,456
about drinking the
opposing team's Gatorade,
1043
00:59:52,458 --> 00:59:54,525
but perhaps after
tonight, there should be.
1044
00:59:54,527 --> 00:59:57,561
- Hahaha! You scored with Gatorade, man!
1045
00:59:57,563 --> 01:00:00,865
He's so mad!
- (McCauley): Highlanders win
1046
01:00:00,867 --> 01:00:03,134
thanks to the unquenchable
thirst of a man
1047
01:00:03,135 --> 01:00:05,873
they call the Thug.
(electronic music)
1048
01:00:10,175 --> 01:00:12,179
- Good for you, kid.
1049
01:00:14,981 --> 01:00:17,083
Good for you.
1050
01:00:19,184 --> 01:00:21,219
- Boys,
1051
01:00:21,221 --> 01:00:23,253
got a little heat going down, right?
1052
01:00:23,255 --> 01:00:26,155
So we're gonna take that heat into Reading,
1053
01:00:26,157 --> 01:00:28,592
and we're gonna burn
their fucking flesh off,
1054
01:00:28,594 --> 01:00:30,561
like fucking flamethrowers!
1055
01:00:30,563 --> 01:00:32,230
- Sir.
- Yes?
1056
01:00:32,231 --> 01:00:33,998
- OK, for the last time,
I'm gonna have to ask you
1057
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:35,932
to lower your voice.
1058
01:00:35,934 --> 01:00:39,304
OK? Just...
- So will you take that for me, would you?
1059
01:00:39,306 --> 01:00:41,373
- Nope, not in first class.
We don't take your... anything.
1060
01:00:41,375 --> 01:00:43,574
- Alright. Alrighty.
- Just have a seat there.
1061
01:00:43,576 --> 01:00:46,411
- Sit down? Sure.
- Yes, sir, that would be wonderful. Thank you very much.
1062
01:00:46,413 --> 01:00:48,445
And if you could just remain seated,
1063
01:00:48,447 --> 01:00:50,614
Oh, for fuck sake! (men
urinating and grunting)
1064
01:00:50,615 --> 01:00:53,451
- Hey, Belchy,
1065
01:00:53,452 --> 01:00:57,489
come see! This toilet
looks just like your mother.
1066
01:00:57,490 --> 01:01:01,326
- Mmm! Only markedly less toilet
- like.
1067
01:01:01,327 --> 01:01:04,193
(Russians groaning) (woman complains)
1068
01:01:04,195 --> 01:01:06,463
- Oh, my God, you guys are...
Get the fuck out of here, man!
1069
01:01:06,465 --> 01:01:09,067
(man laughing)
- (woman): Disgusting!
1070
01:01:09,068 --> 01:01:12,568
- (whispering): Hey, I'm not done.
1071
01:01:12,570 --> 01:01:15,105
What...
- No.
1072
01:01:15,106 --> 01:01:18,076
- (whispering): She said no.
We're gonna skate in there.
1073
01:01:18,077 --> 01:01:21,311
I wanna show those translucent, Rust-belt
1074
01:01:21,313 --> 01:01:24,981
weirdos how we play hockey...
- I swear!
1075
01:01:24,983 --> 01:01:27,451
- North of the border.
- Yeah, OK.
1076
01:01:27,452 --> 01:01:29,487
- (whispering): Highlanders.
1077
01:01:29,489 --> 01:01:31,556
- (team, whispering): Highlanders.
1078
01:01:31,557 --> 01:01:35,059
Highlanders. Highlanders.
1079
01:01:35,061 --> 01:01:37,394
- OK, but that is still
making us uncomfortable.
1080
01:01:37,396 --> 01:01:39,596
- (team, whispering):
Highlanders. Highlanders.
1081
01:01:39,597 --> 01:01:43,567
Highlanders. Highlanders.
1082
01:01:43,568 --> 01:01:46,036
- God, it smells like dick.
1083
01:01:46,038 --> 01:01:48,505
- (team whispering):
Highlanders. Highlanders.
1084
01:01:48,507 --> 01:01:52,608
Highlanders. Highlanders.
- Stay in school. Highlanders.
1085
01:01:52,610 --> 01:01:55,244
- (McCauley): Three minutes left in the
third, and the Highlanders' hot streak
1086
01:01:55,246 --> 01:01:57,213
is in danger of coming to an end
1087
01:01:57,215 --> 01:02:00,018
as they trail the Wolfdogs
3 to 2. A win tonight
1088
01:02:00,019 --> 01:02:03,586
would see them just one spot
outside playoffs' contention.
1089
01:02:03,588 --> 01:02:06,724
Oh, my uncles are dead! Anders
Cain looks in front, turns.
1090
01:02:06,726 --> 01:02:11,260
Oh! Waxman's Murphy
bed! Cain scores!
1091
01:02:11,262 --> 01:02:14,298
And it's tied 3-3. Great goal
1092
01:02:14,300 --> 01:02:16,233
by Anders Cain to keep
1093
01:02:16,235 --> 01:02:18,235
the dream alive.
- They're gonna be throwing
1094
01:02:18,237 --> 01:02:20,237
everything at us now, but the kitchen sink.
1095
01:02:20,239 --> 01:02:22,338
You, Flamer, do what you did last game.
1096
01:02:22,340 --> 01:02:24,742
Stesy, take his lead.
1097
01:02:24,744 --> 01:02:27,344
Yeah, yeah. Dougie, listen
to me. You watch their backs.
1098
01:02:27,346 --> 01:02:30,382
You keep your head in the fucking
game. Handle the big man. See him?
1099
01:02:30,384 --> 01:02:33,751
Send a message. Wake
'em up, Doug. Go, go, go!
1100
01:02:33,753 --> 01:02:36,387
- Don't go start a shit you can't finish.
1101
01:02:36,389 --> 01:02:39,556
- (McCauley): Coach Ronnie Hortense had a
few words for Doug Glatt who hasn't fought
1102
01:02:39,557 --> 01:02:41,458
since he came back two weeks ago.
1103
01:02:41,460 --> 01:02:44,193
(dramatic music) He goes
straight toward Totan.
1104
01:02:44,195 --> 01:02:47,132
- You are popping me.
- (McCauley): Moe Totan.
1105
01:02:47,134 --> 01:02:50,666
- (Bailey): He's so enormous.
- Oy vey.
1106
01:02:50,668 --> 01:02:54,371
- (McCauley): Off the
faceoff, the puck goes back
1107
01:02:54,373 --> 01:02:57,074
into the Wolfdogs' zone. Now,
it's in at the centre ice.
1108
01:02:57,076 --> 01:02:59,210
Turned over by Laflamme.
Laflamme looks across,
1109
01:02:59,211 --> 01:03:00,811
finds Stevenson. Stevenson dumps it
1110
01:03:00,813 --> 01:03:03,347
deep into the Wolfdogs'
territory. The puck goes
1111
01:03:03,349 --> 01:03:05,416
around now to Totan.
- (coach): Here we go!
1112
01:03:05,418 --> 01:03:09,253
- (McCauley): Here comes
Glatt right at Totan!
1113
01:03:09,255 --> 01:03:13,557
Oh! And he misses completely!
- Fuck! Shit!
1114
01:03:13,559 --> 01:03:17,260
- It looks like he's in
pain on his right side.
1115
01:03:17,262 --> 01:03:19,630
Starting the other way,
the Reading Wolfdogs
1116
01:03:19,632 --> 01:03:21,632
with an opportunity
for the go-ahead goal.
1117
01:03:21,634 --> 01:03:23,369
The puck is gliding
across the blue line.
1118
01:03:25,271 --> 01:03:27,336
He scores!
- NOOOO!
1119
01:03:27,338 --> 01:03:29,539
- FUCK! FUCK!
- (McCauley): Reading win.
1120
01:03:29,541 --> 01:03:31,608
And with just 10 games
left in the season,
1121
01:03:31,610 --> 01:03:34,545
the Highlanders seem to have
found a way to rescue defeat
1122
01:03:34,547 --> 01:03:37,414
from the jaws of victory.
- Pretty good, Dougie!
1123
01:03:37,416 --> 01:03:40,851
- Come on, Doug. (sigh)
1124
01:03:40,853 --> 01:03:45,322
- I don't wanna hear it. Let's
go! Let's fucking go! Nats!
1125
01:03:45,324 --> 01:03:48,692
(man talking indistinctly)
1126
01:03:48,693 --> 01:03:50,630
(indistinct chatter)
1127
01:03:54,567 --> 01:03:57,601
- Did you watch the game?
- Yeah.
1128
01:03:57,603 --> 01:03:59,503
(Doug sighing)
1129
01:03:59,505 --> 01:04:01,605
- You said it could be
scary watching me out there.
1130
01:04:01,606 --> 01:04:03,610
Was it scary?
1131
01:04:05,610 --> 01:04:10,114
- I mean, I don't like watching
you get hurt, so yeah, a little.
1132
01:04:10,115 --> 01:04:12,115
- Ah!
- Oh!
1133
01:04:12,117 --> 01:04:14,086
God, Jesus! Are you OK?
- Yeah.
1134
01:04:19,224 --> 01:04:21,561
Maybe you shouldn't watch the next one.
1135
01:04:23,797 --> 01:04:25,628
- Yeah.
1136
01:04:25,630 --> 01:04:27,164
Alright.
1137
01:04:27,166 --> 01:04:32,402
- ♪ When I wake up ♪
1138
01:04:32,403 --> 01:04:35,373
♪ Yours I'd slip in ♪
1139
01:04:35,375 --> 01:04:37,775
(engine revving up)
1140
01:04:37,777 --> 01:04:39,143
- (McCauley): Halfway
through the third,
1141
01:04:39,144 --> 01:04:41,711
the Highlanders are fighting
for their postseason lives
1142
01:04:41,713 --> 01:04:43,646
on Fan Appreciation Night.
1143
01:04:43,648 --> 01:04:45,650
A shot blocked by Laflamme.
- Attaboy, Flamer!
1144
01:04:45,652 --> 01:04:48,286
- (McCauley): What a
contribution he's made.
1145
01:04:48,288 --> 01:04:52,757
Now Laflamme sees Walters' coming.
And Walters sucker punched him.
1146
01:04:52,759 --> 01:04:54,893
But he gets up. He
appears to be alright.
1147
01:04:54,894 --> 01:04:57,628
- Let go of his arm, Ref!
- (McCauley): Walters is sent
1148
01:04:57,630 --> 01:05:00,565
to the penalty box.
- Come on, Pat!
1149
01:05:00,567 --> 01:05:02,500
- (McCauley): And he
is none too impressed.
1150
01:05:02,501 --> 01:05:05,536
- (announcer): Number 28, Tim
Walters: 2 minutes for roughing.
1151
01:05:05,538 --> 01:05:07,672
8 minutes 51 seconds
- Fuck!
1152
01:05:07,673 --> 01:05:10,606
- You OK?
- Yeah, I'm alright. Thanks.
1153
01:05:10,608 --> 01:05:12,844
- OK, now we're gonna take
this fucking power play,
1154
01:05:12,846 --> 01:05:16,547
and we're gonna shove it up
their fucking sphincters. No K-Y!
1155
01:05:16,548 --> 01:05:18,782
And when we're done with that,
1156
01:05:18,784 --> 01:05:21,351
and that ugly piece of shit
gets out of that fucking box,
1157
01:05:21,353 --> 01:05:23,387
we're gonna give him a
piece of our mind. OK, boys?
1158
01:05:23,389 --> 01:05:26,590
- I can do that, sir. I can give
him a piece of all of our minds.
1159
01:05:26,592 --> 01:05:29,893
- No, he fucking can't.
His arm's all fucked up.
1160
01:05:29,894 --> 01:05:31,827
- I'm fine. I can do this.
1161
01:05:31,829 --> 01:05:33,963
- He can't fucking fight anybody.
1162
01:05:33,965 --> 01:05:36,701
- Jesus Christ, boys, what's going on?
1163
01:05:36,702 --> 01:05:40,206
(grunt) Not now, kiddo. Not now.
1164
01:05:42,775 --> 01:05:45,710
- (McCauley): Anders Cain
is coming right across
1165
01:05:45,711 --> 01:05:47,277
from the bench to the deck.
- Huh? You wanna go?
1166
01:05:47,278 --> 01:05:48,980
- Yeah, come on.
- Yeah? Any time, tough guy!
1167
01:05:48,981 --> 01:05:51,248
- I'll fucking go right on
and knock your fucking teeth
1168
01:05:51,250 --> 01:05:52,951
down your throat.
- Yeah, bring it on!
1169
01:05:52,952 --> 01:05:55,552
I'll tear your fucking head
off for a pure meat stick.
1170
01:05:55,554 --> 01:05:57,922
- (Anders): You're so fucking pissed, a fucking meat stick.
- Stevesy, you're up.
1171
01:05:57,923 --> 01:06:01,259
- (McCauley): And now there's action,
meanwhile, over at the Highlander bench.
1172
01:06:01,260 --> 01:06:04,994
And here comes Doug Glatt. Hortense
calls him back. Glatt, come back here!
1173
01:06:04,996 --> 01:06:07,632
- (McCauley): Uh - oh! It looks
like we may finally get to see
1174
01:06:07,634 --> 01:06:09,634
the Thug drop his gloves after all.
1175
01:06:09,635 --> 01:06:12,336
- Anytime! Oh, you too?
- The fuck you're doing here?
1176
01:06:12,338 --> 01:06:14,338
- What are you doing
here? This is my here!
1177
01:06:14,340 --> 01:06:16,907
- (McCauley): And now both
Glatt and Cain push and shove.
1178
01:06:16,909 --> 01:06:18,775
- What the fuck you mean
it's your here?! It's my here!
1179
01:06:18,777 --> 01:06:21,311
- I'll let both you guys in.
- My fucking!
1180
01:06:21,313 --> 01:06:23,579
Fuck!
- (McCauley): And down goes Cain
1181
01:06:23,581 --> 01:06:25,916
with Glatt on top.
- What am I looking at?
1182
01:06:25,918 --> 01:06:29,318
- Fuck! What the fuck is this?!
- I don't know. I don't know.
1183
01:06:29,320 --> 01:06:31,922
- I don't even want to fight
anymore; you killed the mood.
1184
01:06:31,923 --> 01:06:33,990
- Dougie, why are you dry humping, Anders?
1185
01:06:33,992 --> 01:06:36,393
- Get off me!
- I'm trying. I don't want this!
1186
01:06:36,394 --> 01:06:38,996
- You're on the same fucking team, man!
1187
01:06:38,998 --> 01:06:41,865
- Fuck! This is horrible!
It's fucking horrible!
1188
01:06:41,867 --> 01:06:44,635
- It is. It is.
- Fuck! Fuck!
1189
01:06:44,637 --> 01:06:47,704
- (McCauley): I would like to remind fans
that should they still desire, they can
1190
01:06:47,706 --> 01:06:50,407
meet the Highlanders in person
tonight at the Corktown Pub
1191
01:06:50,409 --> 01:06:52,309
for Fan Appreciation Night.
- (crowd): Doug! Doug!
1192
01:06:52,311 --> 01:06:54,778
Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug!
1193
01:06:54,780 --> 01:06:57,315
- (pub crowd): Doug! Doug! Doug!
1194
01:06:57,317 --> 01:06:59,317
Doug! Doug! Doug!
- (man): You fucking son,
1195
01:06:59,318 --> 01:07:00,916
we fucking hate you!
1196
01:07:00,918 --> 01:07:02,686
- (man): Anders, you
piece of fucking shit!
1197
01:07:02,688 --> 01:07:06,356
- You know what? I fucking know it.
1198
01:07:06,358 --> 01:07:09,425
- What the fuck is wrong with you now?
- You know it too.
1199
01:07:09,427 --> 01:07:11,994
I beat the shit out of Doug Glatt.
1200
01:07:11,996 --> 01:07:13,864
- Take it easy.
- You fucking take it easy!
1201
01:07:13,865 --> 01:07:15,731
I fucking destroyed him.
1202
01:07:15,733 --> 01:07:17,634
- Calm down, man.
- Get your fucking hands off me!
1203
01:07:17,635 --> 01:07:19,336
- Hey!
- Anders!
1204
01:07:19,338 --> 01:07:21,538
(indistinct pop song playing in the pub)
1205
01:07:21,539 --> 01:07:24,807
- I beat you.
1206
01:07:24,809 --> 01:07:28,744
Don't look at them, you
dumb fuck; look at me.
1207
01:07:28,746 --> 01:07:31,081
- Anders...
- I am here, now,
1208
01:07:31,083 --> 01:07:33,817
me, right fucking in front of you!
1209
01:07:33,818 --> 01:07:36,554
(grunting and yelling)
1210
01:07:36,556 --> 01:07:39,757
- That will blow your nerves.
- Come on, Doug.
1211
01:07:39,759 --> 01:07:41,826
- Doug! That's enough!
- That's it.
1212
01:07:41,827 --> 01:07:44,494
- Knock it off, guys. Chill!
1213
01:07:44,496 --> 01:07:46,364
(indistinct chatter)
- I'm fine. Fucking fine!
1214
01:07:46,365 --> 01:07:49,733
- Good. Chill out, man.
- He's a freak.
1215
01:07:49,735 --> 01:07:51,402
(crowd gasping)
- Cheap shot!
1216
01:07:51,403 --> 01:07:53,503
(men growling)
- Anders, that's enough!
1217
01:07:53,505 --> 01:07:55,672
- Come on, Doug!
- Doug!
1218
01:07:55,673 --> 01:07:57,673
(man doing clucking sound)
- God!
1219
01:07:57,675 --> 01:07:59,976
- Anders, it's over. It's over.
- Get out!
1220
01:07:59,978 --> 01:08:02,980
- Walk him out.
- Shit!
1221
01:08:02,981 --> 01:08:05,882
(dramatic music)
1222
01:08:05,884 --> 01:08:08,117
- Early reports coming
in of a bar brawl tonight
1223
01:08:08,119 --> 01:08:10,119
at a popular Halifax Highlanders'
1224
01:08:10,121 --> 01:08:13,824
hangout allegedly involving
the Highlanders themselves
1225
01:08:13,827 --> 01:08:16,694
in what could be just
another example of violence
1226
01:08:16,695 --> 01:08:20,529
dogging the team. This coming
just weeks after controversial
1227
01:08:20,532 --> 01:08:24,067
hockey-fighting competition Bruised
and Battered held its most recent event
1228
01:08:24,069 --> 01:08:27,871
at the Highlanders' home barn,
the Halifax Metro Centre.
1229
01:08:27,872 --> 01:08:30,106
With two must-win
games left to play,
1230
01:08:30,109 --> 01:08:32,743
and Cain and Glatt each
serving suspensions,
1231
01:08:32,746 --> 01:08:36,078
one can't help but wonder
if GM Hyrum Cain has
1232
01:08:36,081 --> 01:08:38,083
any more tricks up his sleeve.
1233
01:08:39,918 --> 01:08:42,953
(boat horn)
- (Eva): You broke your promise.
1234
01:08:42,956 --> 01:08:45,390
- I was scared.
1235
01:08:45,391 --> 01:08:47,394
Never felt that before.
1236
01:08:48,994 --> 01:08:52,596
He was wearing my C.
- Are you fucking kidding me?!
1237
01:08:52,599 --> 01:08:54,530
That's the best you can do?
1238
01:08:54,533 --> 01:08:57,634
I... I gave up stuff I liked doing too.
1239
01:08:57,636 --> 01:09:01,106
- It's different; you've never had a team.
1240
01:09:03,108 --> 01:09:04,841
Yeah.
1241
01:09:04,844 --> 01:09:08,078
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Maybe, maybe I never did.
1242
01:09:08,081 --> 01:09:10,079
- I can still do what I'm
supposed to, I can still fight.
1243
01:09:10,082 --> 01:09:12,149
- I guess that's a fucking problem.
- Eva.
1244
01:09:12,152 --> 01:09:14,650
- And yet the worst part is
1245
01:09:14,653 --> 01:09:18,654
you're making me into this
fucking, naggy housewife.
1246
01:09:18,657 --> 01:09:21,891
And do you think I want to be fucking...
1247
01:09:21,894 --> 01:09:23,993
worrying about you? You think I wanna
1248
01:09:23,996 --> 01:09:25,962
be giving you shit?
1249
01:09:25,965 --> 01:09:28,164
I don't. This isn't who I am.
1250
01:09:28,167 --> 01:09:31,101
- Eva, please... Where are you going?
1251
01:09:31,104 --> 01:09:33,841
- I'm not going anywhere.
(emotional music)
1252
01:09:40,712 --> 01:09:42,715
- I eat this soup.
1253
01:09:44,550 --> 01:09:47,118
- Yes, I know. That's why I'm...
1254
01:09:47,119 --> 01:09:49,122
(sigh)
1255
01:09:51,925 --> 01:09:53,961
I just need some time, Doug.
1256
01:10:06,037 --> 01:10:08,838
- Dad, I'm fucking sorry.
1257
01:10:08,841 --> 01:10:11,411
OK, I'm sorry. I fuck... I fucked up.
1258
01:10:13,979 --> 01:10:16,846
Fuck. I wanna win.
1259
01:10:16,849 --> 01:10:19,716
I wanna...
- Your contract's been terminated.
1260
01:10:19,719 --> 01:10:22,185
- Uh... I'm sorry, what?
1261
01:10:22,188 --> 01:10:24,557
- You're on a flight at 10 p.m. tonight.
1262
01:10:31,898 --> 01:10:33,966
No?
1263
01:10:35,601 --> 01:10:38,534
(Anders sniffling)
1264
01:10:38,537 --> 01:10:40,606
What are you doing?
1265
01:10:42,108 --> 01:10:45,109
The fuck out of my face.
1266
01:10:45,110 --> 01:10:47,847
You wanna swing at me?
- You wanna swing at me?
1267
01:10:54,554 --> 01:10:56,654
(three slaps)
1268
01:10:56,655 --> 01:10:59,126
You're a fucking pussy.
1269
01:11:10,769 --> 01:11:13,139
♪♪♪
1270
01:11:15,974 --> 01:11:18,975
- ♪ I was waiting ♪
- I'm just saying.
1271
01:11:18,978 --> 01:11:22,112
You're pissed at Doug because
he's a hockey player...
1272
01:11:22,113 --> 01:11:25,149
and he wants to plays hockey?
- He was fucking
1273
01:11:25,150 --> 01:11:28,319
bareknuckle prizefighting, too. Jesus!
1274
01:11:28,320 --> 01:11:30,554
Whose side are you on?
1275
01:11:30,555 --> 01:11:32,922
(Mary sniffing) We both agreed to do this,
1276
01:11:32,925 --> 01:11:35,659
and we both gave shit up.
This is what growing up is.
1277
01:11:35,662 --> 01:11:38,662
I
- I... I had shit that I liked doing too.
1278
01:11:38,664 --> 01:11:41,597
(stifled laugh)
- Jagerbombs?
1279
01:11:41,600 --> 01:11:43,900
Look, I know you sacrificed things.
1280
01:11:43,903 --> 01:11:47,203
I mean, you have a fucking baby
growing in your belly. I get it!
1281
01:11:47,206 --> 01:11:49,873
I just... I think that Doug's...
1282
01:11:49,876 --> 01:11:53,609
team is more than just hockey, you know?
1283
01:11:53,612 --> 01:11:56,112
- ♪ Besides, I just get lonely ♪
1284
01:11:56,113 --> 01:11:59,252
- More than a team, even.
1285
01:12:08,595 --> 01:12:10,726
- (Duffy): Highlanders'
GM, Hyrum Cain, confirming
1286
01:12:10,729 --> 01:12:13,829
that Anders Cain has been
released from his contract.
1287
01:12:13,832 --> 01:12:17,301
- Let this be a lesson to
everyone out there. Your father
1288
01:12:17,302 --> 01:12:20,203
will break your heart and shove it down
1289
01:12:20,206 --> 01:12:22,105
your fucking throat, pull it out your ass,
1290
01:12:22,108 --> 01:12:23,940
put it right back in your chest.
1291
01:12:23,943 --> 01:12:26,377
- (Duffy): No word yet on
whether Hyrum Cain plans
1292
01:12:26,378 --> 01:12:28,744
to replace Anders as the
Highlanders round out
1293
01:12:28,747 --> 01:12:31,914
their season with must-win games
at home against the Lovell Kings
1294
01:12:31,917 --> 01:12:34,554
and Anders' old team,
the Reading Wolfdogs.
1295
01:12:37,155 --> 01:12:39,890
(soft rock song Fly At
Night by Chilliwack)
1296
01:12:39,891 --> 01:12:42,929
(indistinct chatter)
1297
01:12:46,099 --> 01:12:48,569
(man talking indistinctly)
1298
01:12:52,639 --> 01:12:55,739
- Stevesy, Legs, Gino, you
know what you need to do.
1299
01:12:55,742 --> 01:12:58,141
Eat up minutes, grind the shit out of them,
1300
01:12:58,144 --> 01:13:00,210
make them fuck up.
1301
01:13:00,212 --> 01:13:04,381
Tonight, we need to play
fucking hard! Right, boys?
1302
01:13:04,384 --> 01:13:06,382
- Yeah.
- ALRIGHT, BOYS?
1303
01:13:06,385 --> 01:13:09,284
- YEAH!
- Alright! Fucking do this.
1304
01:13:09,287 --> 01:13:12,221
- (Ross): So, you pussies
playing hockey or what?
1305
01:13:12,224 --> 01:13:14,423
- Wow.
1306
01:13:14,426 --> 01:13:18,261
(bell tolling)
- I messed up, Pat.
1307
01:13:18,264 --> 01:13:22,699
You know, I really like
living with you in the motel,
1308
01:13:22,702 --> 01:13:25,101
but I just kind of want to go home now.
1309
01:13:25,104 --> 01:13:26,935
- Yeah? No, I get that. It's, uh...
1310
01:13:26,938 --> 01:13:28,805
(Pat sniffling) ...it's
definitely not the Ritz,
1311
01:13:28,807 --> 01:13:32,109
but so long as Sherilyn owns
it, it's a bed and it's free,
1312
01:13:32,110 --> 01:13:34,377
thanks to that deal I cut with her.
1313
01:13:34,380 --> 01:13:36,046
- What kind of deal? (slurping sound)
1314
01:13:36,048 --> 01:13:38,347
- Fucking the shit out of her constantly.
1315
01:13:38,350 --> 01:13:40,817
- Your cousin Sherilyn?
1316
01:13:40,819 --> 01:13:43,453
- I don't think I'm the
only dude she's fucking...
1317
01:13:43,456 --> 01:13:45,993
but then she's not the
only dude I'm fucking.
1318
01:13:47,793 --> 01:13:51,328
(phone ringing and buzzing)
1319
01:13:51,329 --> 01:13:53,363
- Eva? Hello?
1320
01:13:53,365 --> 01:13:55,332
- Uh, hey. Doug, um...
1321
01:13:55,333 --> 01:13:58,301
- Eva, hello. It's me, Doug Glatt.
1322
01:13:58,304 --> 01:14:00,203
- Doug, where are you?
1323
01:14:00,206 --> 01:14:02,775
- Eva, I'm sorry I broke my promise.
1324
01:14:04,242 --> 01:14:07,911
I shouldn't have done
that because we're a team.
1325
01:14:07,912 --> 01:14:09,979
I'm so in love with you.
1326
01:14:09,981 --> 01:14:12,114
We're gonna have a family, and I swear...
1327
01:14:12,117 --> 01:14:14,484
- Uh, Doug, my water broke.
1328
01:14:14,487 --> 01:14:17,787
- It's OK. I can just buy you
another one at the gas station.
1329
01:14:17,789 --> 01:14:20,123
- No! No! My water broke!
1330
01:14:20,126 --> 01:14:23,292
The baby... Uh, the baby's coming.
1331
01:14:23,295 --> 01:14:25,994
- What?!
What-what-what?! What?!
1332
01:14:25,997 --> 01:14:29,399
What-what-what-what? What?
What? Now? Wait, what? What?
1333
01:14:29,402 --> 01:14:31,935
- And Mary's at the store, at
the store, so I'm all alone.
1334
01:14:31,938 --> 01:14:35,404
- No, you're not. Like the
baby, I am also coming now.
1335
01:14:35,407 --> 01:14:37,908
- OK. OK.
1336
01:14:37,909 --> 01:14:39,476
- Holy pussy-cunt-balls,
it's happening!
1337
01:14:39,479 --> 01:14:41,845
- Just keep your eyes on the road, please.
1338
01:14:41,847 --> 01:14:45,015
- So sorry, so sorry, but...
Eva, I just gotta tell you,
1339
01:14:45,016 --> 01:14:47,016
you, my dear, are gonna look
1340
01:14:47,019 --> 01:14:49,118
fucking radiant during childbirth.
1341
01:14:49,121 --> 01:14:51,154
- I'm so sorry. OK, from now on,
1342
01:14:51,157 --> 01:14:53,155
whatever we do, we do as a team, OK?
1343
01:14:53,158 --> 01:14:55,091
- You know there's
just this natural beauty
1344
01:14:55,094 --> 01:14:57,159
that comes from such a
violent act. The blood
1345
01:14:57,162 --> 01:14:59,162
and the fucking pussy ripping open.
1346
01:14:59,164 --> 01:15:02,399
- Yeah, I'm gonna be the best
husband and the best father I can be.
1347
01:15:02,400 --> 01:15:05,069
- I'll just say it. To me,
no woman, no fucking woman
1348
01:15:05,070 --> 01:15:07,136
is more beautiful than
when she's giving birth.
1349
01:15:07,139 --> 01:15:10,341
- Uh, guys, that's great. Could
we have no talking for a bit?
1350
01:15:10,342 --> 01:15:12,208
- Yeah, of course, whatever you need.
1351
01:15:12,211 --> 01:15:14,277
(honking)
- Hey! God dammit!
1352
01:15:14,279 --> 01:15:17,079
What the fuck? What? Is
everyone in the city Chinese?
1353
01:15:17,082 --> 01:15:19,315
- (McCauley): Oh no!
Down goes Stevenson.
1354
01:15:19,318 --> 01:15:21,384
- Jesus Christ! (indistinct
rock song playing)
1355
01:15:21,386 --> 01:15:23,886
Come on, boys! This is not
how we kill a fucking penalty!
1356
01:15:23,889 --> 01:15:25,521
- Come on, Stevesy,
you're good, you're good!
1357
01:15:25,524 --> 01:15:28,225
- Flamer, come on, come on.
- (Laflamme): Watch your point.
1358
01:15:28,226 --> 01:15:30,226
- Sit down. Rest that fucking ass.
1359
01:15:30,229 --> 01:15:32,895
- (player): Let's go, boys.
- (coach): Where the fuck is he?
1360
01:15:32,898 --> 01:15:35,332
- (McCauley): Hortense keeps looking
over toward the dressing room.
1361
01:15:35,333 --> 01:15:38,034
(indistinct rock song)
- Breathe, Eva. Breathe.
1362
01:15:38,037 --> 01:15:40,170
OK?
- (Eva): OK.
1363
01:15:40,171 --> 01:15:43,443
- Deep slow breaths.
- (Doug): Breathe, Eva, breathe!
1364
01:15:45,877 --> 01:15:47,844
(man grunting)
1365
01:15:47,845 --> 01:15:49,212
- AAAAH!
1366
01:15:49,215 --> 01:15:50,948
- (McCauley): Lovell and Halifax.
1367
01:15:50,949 --> 01:15:53,182
Now, Laflamme goes after
the puck in the corner.
1368
01:15:53,185 --> 01:15:55,918
He takes it in behind.
Here comes Owens.
1369
01:15:55,921 --> 01:15:58,121
And down goes Laflamme.
1370
01:15:58,122 --> 01:16:00,524
Now, Owens is bumped by... (whistle)
1371
01:16:00,525 --> 01:16:02,458
Ross Rhea?
- Nice hit, eh?
1372
01:16:02,461 --> 01:16:04,860
- Better late than never.
1373
01:16:04,863 --> 01:16:07,931
- (McCauley): Ross Rhea
is back! (Eva panting)
1374
01:16:07,934 --> 01:16:10,432
- (doctor): One last big
push you got for me, Eva?
1375
01:16:10,435 --> 01:16:13,036
- (McCauley): He's back as a Highlander.
- You know, Sean,
1376
01:16:13,037 --> 01:16:15,238
generally, it's polite to ask.
- Go watch some curling
1377
01:16:15,240 --> 01:16:18,609
and get a fucking dye job, you old man.
- Fuck you!
1378
01:16:18,610 --> 01:16:21,078
- Come on, Eva.
- (doctor): That's it. OK, Eva, home stretch.
1379
01:16:21,079 --> 01:16:23,078
- AAAAAAAAAH!
1380
01:16:23,081 --> 01:16:25,448
- (McCauley): Ross Rhea
fires that patented right.
1381
01:16:25,451 --> 01:16:27,851
- AAAAAAAAH!
1382
01:16:27,854 --> 01:16:30,220
- ♪ I can't sleep
tonight ♪ (baby crying)
1383
01:16:30,222 --> 01:16:33,591
♪ I can't sleep tonight
It's the saddest lie ♪
1384
01:16:33,592 --> 01:16:36,192
(grunting)
- (McCauley): We thought he was gone.
1385
01:16:36,194 --> 01:16:39,194
- Old man, eh?
- And he's back in style.
1386
01:16:39,197 --> 01:16:42,097
- ♪ Oh oh oooh oooh ♪ (baby cooing)
1387
01:16:42,100 --> 01:16:44,266
♪ I can't sleep tonight ♪
1388
01:16:44,269 --> 01:16:47,237
♪ I can't sleep tonight ♪
1389
01:16:47,238 --> 01:16:49,073
(babies crying)
1390
01:16:49,074 --> 01:16:51,039
(man snoring and farting)
1391
01:16:51,042 --> 01:16:52,845
- Pat.
1392
01:16:59,652 --> 01:17:01,484
♪♪♪
1393
01:17:01,487 --> 01:17:03,219
- Hey, hey, hey.
1394
01:17:03,220 --> 01:17:05,954
(gasping and clapping)
1395
01:17:05,957 --> 01:17:07,993
- Yeah! (man laughing)
1396
01:17:10,395 --> 01:17:13,596
- Doug. Dougie had a baby. Fucking sweet!
1397
01:17:13,599 --> 01:17:15,565
- Nice shot, man.
- Good shooting, man.
1398
01:17:15,568 --> 01:17:17,567
- Let me know if you're
not gonna keep it, OK?
1399
01:17:17,569 --> 01:17:20,206
- Yeah, we're gonna keep it.
- Let me know.
1400
01:17:21,907 --> 01:17:24,975
- (player): Yeah, Dougie.
- Fucking weirdo.
1401
01:17:24,976 --> 01:17:26,976
Is everyone OK in there?
1402
01:17:26,979 --> 01:17:29,679
- Everybody's great.
1403
01:17:29,680 --> 01:17:32,547
Welcome to the Highlanders.
1404
01:17:32,550 --> 01:17:34,619
- Looks like I'm not done after all, eh?
1405
01:17:36,389 --> 01:17:39,454
Mazel tov, kiddo. (phone ringing)
1406
01:17:39,457 --> 01:17:41,690
- Heyyyy.
1407
01:17:41,693 --> 01:17:46,532
A dick explodes, a baby is
made, and a father is born.
1408
01:17:50,502 --> 01:17:52,438
I love you.
1409
01:17:55,173 --> 01:17:57,373
- All these kisses.
1410
01:17:57,376 --> 01:18:00,076
- I will love your baby.
- Thank you so much.
1411
01:18:00,078 --> 01:18:02,444
It's so nice.
1412
01:18:02,447 --> 01:18:04,515
- I'm a great babysitter, so...
1413
01:18:04,516 --> 01:18:06,452
Not that you... Oh, OK.
1414
01:18:10,121 --> 01:18:12,488
- You have my back.
1415
01:18:12,490 --> 01:18:14,524
You have since we've met.
1416
01:18:14,527 --> 01:18:16,592
And you need to know
1417
01:18:16,595 --> 01:18:20,096
I'll always have yours.
1418
01:18:20,099 --> 01:18:22,632
Something for the baby.
- Oh! Oh! Heehee!
1419
01:18:22,635 --> 01:18:25,438
(touching music)
1420
01:18:32,644 --> 01:18:34,609
- It's official.
1421
01:18:34,612 --> 01:18:37,012
That's official.
- Here you go, Dougie.
1422
01:18:37,015 --> 01:18:40,382
(indistinct chatter)
1423
01:18:40,385 --> 01:18:43,552
- Love you, buddy.
- Félicitations.
1424
01:18:43,555 --> 01:18:45,224
- Way to go, Dougie.
- Good boy!
1425
01:18:47,592 --> 01:18:49,930
(speaking in Slovak)
1426
01:18:53,733 --> 01:18:56,403
- Doug.
1427
01:18:58,069 --> 01:19:00,369
- Thank you.
1428
01:19:00,372 --> 01:19:02,337
(small chuckle)
1429
01:19:02,340 --> 01:19:05,141
I don't know who he is.
1430
01:19:05,144 --> 01:19:09,279
(Eva sighing) (distant baby crying)
1431
01:19:09,280 --> 01:19:12,382
I love you, Eva.
1432
01:19:12,385 --> 01:19:15,752
I love you too, Doug.
1433
01:19:15,755 --> 01:19:18,253
Hmm.
1434
01:19:18,256 --> 01:19:20,690
(Eva chuckling)
1435
01:19:20,693 --> 01:19:23,159
Dammmmn.
1436
01:19:23,162 --> 01:19:26,295
I'm high as fucking balls.
1437
01:19:26,296 --> 01:19:28,631
Just big old balls.
1438
01:19:28,634 --> 01:19:31,234
PS: fucking pushing a baby
1439
01:19:31,237 --> 01:19:33,301
out of your vagina blows hard.
1440
01:19:33,304 --> 01:19:36,073
- I know.
1441
01:19:36,074 --> 01:19:38,144
- But you were here.
1442
01:19:41,146 --> 01:19:43,512
I needed you and you were here.
1443
01:19:43,515 --> 01:19:45,614
(poignant music)
1444
01:19:45,617 --> 01:19:48,454
It's the same shit, Doug.
1445
01:19:50,255 --> 01:19:52,422
The same shit that brought you here
1446
01:19:52,425 --> 01:19:55,595
is the shit that needs you to be out there.
1447
01:19:58,229 --> 01:20:00,231
They need you too.
1448
01:20:02,333 --> 01:20:04,269
Highlanders need you.
1449
01:20:06,505 --> 01:20:08,738
Mm-hmm. Doug,
1450
01:20:08,740 --> 01:20:11,043
you need to be out there.
1451
01:20:15,447 --> 01:20:18,614
- (Duffy): This is it! The
last game of the season!
1452
01:20:18,617 --> 01:20:20,817
The Highlanders need one
more win after their gutsy
1453
01:20:20,819 --> 01:20:24,287
2-1 victory over Lovell.
- (Bailey): And now tonight,
1454
01:20:24,289 --> 01:20:27,222
their entire season hangs
on this one last game,
1455
01:20:27,225 --> 01:20:29,692
which should be a doozy
as it marks Cain's return
1456
01:20:29,694 --> 01:20:32,662
to the Halifax Metro Centre
in his first game back since
1457
01:20:32,664 --> 01:20:34,463
re-signing with the Wolfdogs.
1458
01:20:34,466 --> 01:20:36,164
- (reporter): Any message
for your former teammates?
1459
01:20:36,167 --> 01:20:37,432
- Watch your back.
1460
01:20:37,435 --> 01:20:39,469
- Cain's gonna be out there.
1461
01:20:39,470 --> 01:20:41,503
- Fuck Cain.
1462
01:20:41,506 --> 01:20:44,408
The shape your shoulder's in, you tweak it,
1463
01:20:44,409 --> 01:20:46,842
you throw one heavy punch with that right,
1464
01:20:46,845 --> 01:20:49,244
that's your career fucked for good.
1465
01:20:49,247 --> 01:20:51,114
- I need to protect my
team. (bagpipe music)
1466
01:20:51,117 --> 01:20:54,119
We're on a very busy night in here.
1467
01:20:56,588 --> 01:20:59,489
Xavier... you've been
1468
01:20:59,492 --> 01:21:02,458
whatever this team has needed you to be.
1469
01:21:02,461 --> 01:21:04,761
You've worked, bled.
1470
01:21:04,762 --> 01:21:07,130
(orchestral music)
1471
01:21:07,131 --> 01:21:09,565
- Ahem! I, uh...
1472
01:21:09,568 --> 01:21:11,738
I unstitched it from Cain's jersey.
1473
01:21:13,639 --> 01:21:16,708
It's yours now. You've earned it.
1474
01:21:19,278 --> 01:21:23,483
(applause) - We're all glad for you.
- (coach): Flamer, come on.
1475
01:21:26,385 --> 01:21:28,618
- Hey, you earned it.
- Come on!
1476
01:21:28,621 --> 01:21:30,689
- Speech! (emotional sigh)
1477
01:21:33,893 --> 01:21:36,391
- I learned the
difference between a moment
1478
01:21:36,394 --> 01:21:38,694
and a career is evolution.
1479
01:21:38,697 --> 01:21:41,596
Evolution.
1480
01:21:41,599 --> 01:21:45,368
You will slow down.
1481
01:21:45,371 --> 01:21:47,369
You will get old.
1482
01:21:47,372 --> 01:21:49,208
Your body will fail you.
1483
01:21:50,842 --> 01:21:53,842
So you evolve,
1484
01:21:53,845 --> 01:21:56,578
you change your game,
1485
01:21:56,581 --> 01:21:59,318
you do what you need to
do with the time you got.
1486
01:22:00,818 --> 01:22:03,786
If not, you go extinct.
1487
01:22:03,787 --> 01:22:05,457
(crowd cheering)
1488
01:22:06,658 --> 01:22:09,561
Evolve or go extinct.
1489
01:22:11,396 --> 01:22:13,462
Are you ready to go extinct?
1490
01:22:13,465 --> 01:22:15,530
- No, I'm not.
- No fucking way.
1491
01:22:15,533 --> 01:22:17,432
- Are you fucking extinct?
- No!
1492
01:22:17,435 --> 01:22:18,967
- No.
- No, I'm not. Absolutely not.
1493
01:22:18,970 --> 01:22:21,604
- Well, I'm still here.
1494
01:22:21,606 --> 01:22:23,707
I'm not ready to go fucking extinct!
1495
01:22:23,708 --> 01:22:25,408
The Highlanders are still here!
1496
01:22:25,411 --> 01:22:27,877
- Yeah, we are.
- The fucking Highlanders
1497
01:22:27,880 --> 01:22:30,779
are here!
- Yes! Yes!
1498
01:22:30,782 --> 01:22:33,917
- (together): Highlanders! Highlanders!
1499
01:22:33,918 --> 01:22:35,585
Highlanders!
1500
01:22:35,587 --> 01:22:38,587
Highlanders! Highlanders! (Petrov laughing)
1501
01:22:38,590 --> 01:22:40,591
Highlanders!
1502
01:22:40,592 --> 01:22:43,226
Highlanders! Highlanders!
1503
01:22:43,229 --> 01:22:46,261
Highlanders! Highlanders!
- Alright, boys!
1504
01:22:46,264 --> 01:22:47,930
Let's do this! Come on! (rock music)
1505
01:22:47,932 --> 01:22:49,931
- (McCauley): This is
it, folks. It's do or die
1506
01:22:49,934 --> 01:22:52,534
for the Highlanders
tonight. Their entire season
1507
01:22:52,537 --> 01:22:54,670
comes down to this one game.
1508
01:22:54,671 --> 01:22:57,908
It's that simple. (crowd cheering)
1509
01:22:57,909 --> 01:23:00,909
- (spectator) Alright, Ross! Ross!
1510
01:23:00,912 --> 01:23:03,779
- Fuck 'em up!
- Come on!
1511
01:23:03,782 --> 01:23:07,717
- Which one do you
want? I got the big one.
1512
01:23:07,720 --> 01:23:10,289
Ah, fuck it, I want both of them.
1513
01:23:15,894 --> 01:23:18,694
- It's open season on all your
fucking boys tonight, Doug.
1514
01:23:18,697 --> 01:23:20,730
- I don't have to fight you.
1515
01:23:20,733 --> 01:23:22,734
- Yeah, you do.
1516
01:23:29,375 --> 01:23:33,009
- (McCauley): So it's a must
win for the Halifax Highlanders.
1517
01:23:33,011 --> 01:23:35,011
There's no tomorrow if they don't.
1518
01:23:35,014 --> 01:23:37,046
(rock music)
- I've got some changes here.
1519
01:23:37,048 --> 01:23:40,048
Flamer, Dougie, Rhea off the hop.
1520
01:23:40,051 --> 01:23:41,984
Legs and Gino on the
backend. (siren and whistle)
1521
01:23:41,987 --> 01:23:43,918
- OK, boys, let's go! To get this
1522
01:23:43,921 --> 01:23:46,989
is focus. They're gonna try and
taunt us. Don't look for shit!
1523
01:23:46,992 --> 01:23:49,292
- (McCauley): Yeah, Doug Glatt
comes out to take the opening
1524
01:23:49,295 --> 01:23:53,895
faceoff alongside Ross
Rhea. Former combatants.
1525
01:23:53,898 --> 01:23:57,400
- Hey, big fella. You like Kim Mitchell?
1526
01:23:57,403 --> 01:24:00,435
That's what I thought.
Alright, we're fucking going.
1527
01:24:00,438 --> 01:24:03,605
(blowing whistle 4 times) Alright, here
we go. What the fuck did I just say?
1528
01:24:03,608 --> 01:24:05,875
- Coach said, "Don't look
for shit," that's shit.
1529
01:24:05,877 --> 01:24:08,476
- I bet you don't like Rush
either, you fucking big lipback.
1530
01:24:08,479 --> 01:24:11,047
- He's looking for shit. God
dammit, laid him right out.
1531
01:24:11,050 --> 01:24:13,615
- Jesus Christ! What are they feeding ya?
1532
01:24:13,618 --> 01:24:16,351
A lot of fucking pierogis, eh?
1533
01:24:16,354 --> 01:24:19,625
Easy, big fella. Alright, here we go.
1534
01:24:33,838 --> 01:24:37,038
- (McCauley): Well, folks, big girls may not cry...
- What about that, eh?
1535
01:24:37,041 --> 01:24:39,475
- (McCauley): but big
men from Eastern Europe
1536
01:24:39,478 --> 01:24:41,409
apparently bleed a lot.
- That's fucking right!
1537
01:24:41,412 --> 01:24:43,578
I can do this all night, boys.
- (crowd): Ross! Ross! Ross!
1538
01:24:43,581 --> 01:24:46,783
- You're gonna leave this
building in an ambulance.
1539
01:24:46,784 --> 01:24:49,652
- I'm sorry, Point Break, you say something?
- Rossy! Rossy, no, no.
1540
01:24:49,654 --> 01:24:52,387
- Come on, you can come play.
- (coach): It's over, go to the box.
1541
01:24:52,390 --> 01:24:54,091
- No? Alright.
1542
01:24:54,092 --> 01:24:56,592
You sure? Oh, no,
1543
01:24:56,595 --> 01:24:58,360
he doesn't want to fucking play. Let's go.
1544
01:24:58,363 --> 01:25:00,032
(grunting)
1545
01:25:01,733 --> 01:25:03,565
(dramatic music)
1546
01:25:03,568 --> 01:25:05,701
- (McCauley): So off the
faceoff, the puck is dropped.
1547
01:25:05,703 --> 01:25:07,936
It goes back to Anders
Cain, the former captain
1548
01:25:07,939 --> 01:25:10,373
of the Halifax Highlanders.
Bounces off a check.
1549
01:25:10,376 --> 01:25:12,676
Pulls up the right wing.
Both running on goal!
1550
01:25:12,677 --> 01:25:15,978
Trying to bang it by
Belchior. Runs into him,
1551
01:25:15,979 --> 01:25:18,515
and they count the
goal. Should it count?
1552
01:25:18,516 --> 01:25:20,583
- Where's the fucking whistle?!
- Where the fuck's the whistle?!
1553
01:25:20,586 --> 01:25:22,451
- Cheap fucking goal.
1554
01:25:22,453 --> 01:25:24,953
- (McCauley): So the Highlanders down 1
- nothing
1555
01:25:24,956 --> 01:25:26,823
in the second period.
Again, they have to win.
1556
01:25:26,824 --> 01:25:29,859
And here comes Laflamme
dancing up the centre ice.
1557
01:25:29,862 --> 01:25:32,560
Laflamme makes a
move. Dipsy-doodle!
1558
01:25:32,563 --> 01:25:34,529
Can't storm the front of
the net. Flips it back.
1559
01:25:34,532 --> 01:25:36,966
Yeah, kabooya, he
scores! (crowd cheering)
1560
01:25:36,969 --> 01:25:38,868
- Yes! Yes. (baby giggling)
1561
01:25:38,871 --> 01:25:41,503
- (McCauley): Beautiful goal!
Evgeni Yakovlena had a great...
1562
01:25:41,506 --> 01:25:44,640
- (announcer): And the new
goal scored by number 6,
1563
01:25:44,643 --> 01:25:47,076
Evgeni Yakovlena!
1564
01:25:47,078 --> 01:25:49,779
- (McCauley): So it's 1
- 1 in the second period.
1565
01:25:49,782 --> 01:25:52,015
Here once again is
Laflamme. Against the...
1566
01:25:52,016 --> 01:25:55,551
OH! He's been hammered.
- That's bullshit!
1567
01:25:55,554 --> 01:25:58,087
- I'll get him right now.
- No, you've done enough for the night, Ross.
1568
01:25:58,090 --> 01:26:00,457
- Fucking asshole!
- We'll get him.
1569
01:26:00,458 --> 01:26:02,961
It's fucking bullshit.
- He's a fucking lunatic!
1570
01:26:05,697 --> 01:26:07,529
- (McCauley): Now, the puck
finds its way to Glatt.
1571
01:26:07,532 --> 01:26:09,998
They're normally strangers.
- Dougie!
1572
01:26:10,001 --> 01:26:12,034
- (McCauley): Holy cow!
- Jesus!
1573
01:26:12,037 --> 01:26:14,436
- Thanks, X.
- (McCauley): Did you see that?!
1574
01:26:14,439 --> 01:26:17,908
- That's captain X!
- (McCauley): It was Laflamme
1575
01:26:17,909 --> 01:26:21,976
who ran into and decked Cain.
- Flamer's loaded for bear.
1576
01:26:21,979 --> 01:26:25,114
- (McCauley): Here comes Laflamme, makes
a move around the defender, who's riding
1577
01:26:25,117 --> 01:26:26,850
on the goal. Magic hand shot!
1578
01:26:26,851 --> 01:26:29,784
Great save by Nikola!
- Rossy, watch Flamer's back.
1579
01:26:29,787 --> 01:26:31,619
Do what you gotta do,
but keep it clean, OK?
1580
01:26:31,622 --> 01:26:33,622
- (McCauley): Six minutes
left in the third period.
1581
01:26:33,625 --> 01:26:37,792
Halifax and Reading still
tied at a goal apiece.
1582
01:26:37,795 --> 01:26:40,663
- Take ice away. Come on!
- With it is Anders Cain.
1583
01:26:40,666 --> 01:26:42,466
Cain gets it over to Totan.
- Get on the puck!
1584
01:26:42,467 --> 01:26:44,467
- (McCauley): Totan looks
back, returns it to Cain.
1585
01:26:44,470 --> 01:26:45,837
(crowd booing)
1586
01:26:48,706 --> 01:26:50,940
- What is this you're doing? Make shoot.
1587
01:26:50,943 --> 01:26:52,842
- (McCauley): Cain
seems to be in the midst
1588
01:26:52,845 --> 01:26:55,944
of some sort of
psycho-athletic fugue state.
1589
01:26:55,947 --> 01:26:59,181
- Fucking make shoot. (suspenseful music)
1590
01:26:59,184 --> 01:27:00,716
- Ah!
- (crowd): Ohhh!
1591
01:27:00,719 --> 01:27:03,485
- (McCauley): Mother of God!
1592
01:27:03,488 --> 01:27:05,054
- Holy snap-on arseholes!
- What's he doing?
1593
01:27:05,055 --> 01:27:08,225
- Right off his rocker.
- What the fuck?!
1594
01:27:08,226 --> 01:27:11,194
- (McCauley): Cain seems to
have actually fired the puck
1595
01:27:11,195 --> 01:27:13,796
into his father's
lodge accommodations.
1596
01:27:13,798 --> 01:27:17,065
(red blowing whistle twice)
- You're gonna call that or what?
1597
01:27:17,068 --> 01:27:19,636
- (McCauley): Now, Anders
Cain takes a shot at Laflamme.
1598
01:27:19,637 --> 01:27:23,137
Laflamme pushes back at Cain and Ross
Rhea... Keep your hands to yourself!
1599
01:27:23,140 --> 01:27:25,207
- (McCauley): steps in.
Cain gives him a right.
1600
01:27:25,210 --> 01:27:28,042
- What the fuck is that?
- I'm gonna teach you some fucking manners.
1601
01:27:28,045 --> 01:27:31,212
- (McCauley): Cain is livid.
He has gone absolutely bonkers
1602
01:27:31,215 --> 01:27:34,682
in this game here tonight. Now,
he goes to the penalty box.
1603
01:27:34,685 --> 01:27:37,619
So does Ross Rhea.
- (woman): Fuck you, Cain!
1604
01:27:37,622 --> 01:27:40,890
- (announcer): From Halifax,
number 3, Ross Rhea.
1605
01:27:40,893 --> 01:27:43,525
From Reading, number
13, Anders Cain.
1606
01:27:43,528 --> 01:27:45,793
- Getting tired?
1607
01:27:45,796 --> 01:27:48,130
- Kid, I'm always tired.
1608
01:27:48,131 --> 01:27:50,632
- Because you're an old piece of shit.
1609
01:27:50,635 --> 01:27:52,967
- You got me there.
1610
01:27:52,970 --> 01:27:54,936
This old piece of shit is gonna
take your fucking head off.
1611
01:27:54,939 --> 01:27:56,704
(crowd cheering)
- Rhea!
1612
01:27:56,707 --> 01:27:59,743
Get your ass back to the
bench. Gonna kill this thing.
1613
01:27:59,744 --> 01:28:02,046
(dramatic music)
1614
01:28:04,983 --> 01:28:06,519
- Good luck, kid.
1615
01:28:08,586 --> 01:28:10,752
- (McCauley): The two combatants
step back out on the ice.
1616
01:28:10,755 --> 01:28:12,820
- Where are you going?!
What are you doing?!
1617
01:28:12,823 --> 01:28:15,827
- (McCauley): And immediately, Rhea begins to chase Cain.
- Rhea!
1618
01:28:17,662 --> 01:28:19,295
- (McCauley): Puck is still
in Reading's territory.
1619
01:28:19,296 --> 01:28:21,730
Now it's knocked back
to the blue line.
1620
01:28:21,733 --> 01:28:23,899
Here's a shot. The save is
made. Puck goes into the corner.
1621
01:28:23,902 --> 01:28:26,101
Rhea goes in after it.
1622
01:28:26,104 --> 01:28:30,140
- Anders, no.
- And going after Rhea is Cain!
1623
01:28:30,141 --> 01:28:31,841
- (crowd): Ohhh!
- Nooo!
1624
01:28:31,842 --> 01:28:34,842
- I told you you'd end
up in a fucking ambulance.
1625
01:28:34,845 --> 01:28:37,145
- You fucking piece of shit!
- Get the fuck
1626
01:28:37,148 --> 01:28:39,981
out of here, Cain!
- (McCauley): Rhea is down.
1627
01:28:39,984 --> 01:28:42,784
He's bloodied! He may
well be unconscious.
1628
01:28:42,787 --> 01:28:45,954
- COME ON!
- Fuck off, you...
1629
01:28:45,957 --> 01:28:47,722
- Let's get the board out.
Let's get him on the stretcher.
1630
01:28:47,725 --> 01:28:50,192
- (McCauley): They're
bringing out the stretcher.
1631
01:28:50,194 --> 01:28:52,094
Rhea is down, folks. He's bleeding.
1632
01:28:52,095 --> 01:28:54,195
(crowd chatter) This
doesn't look good.
1633
01:28:54,198 --> 01:28:56,234
(dramatic music)
1634
01:28:59,837 --> 01:29:01,706
(sigh)
1635
01:29:05,777 --> 01:29:07,909
- Dougie.
- Shit!
1636
01:29:07,912 --> 01:29:10,679
- Hey, up, back down.
1637
01:29:10,680 --> 01:29:12,681
- (McCauley): Ladies and
gentlemen, Doug "the Thug" Glatt
1638
01:29:12,684 --> 01:29:15,217
is entering the fray.
He's making a beeline
1639
01:29:15,220 --> 01:29:17,286
for Anders Cain.
1640
01:29:17,287 --> 01:29:19,591
This could only mean one thing.
1641
01:29:20,958 --> 01:29:22,757
- I thought you didn't
need to fight me, Doug.
1642
01:29:22,760 --> 01:29:25,994
- (Ross): Lay him the fuck out, kid.
1643
01:29:25,997 --> 01:29:28,998
(dramatic music)
- Doug.
1644
01:29:29,001 --> 01:29:31,132
- This is for someone else.
1645
01:29:31,135 --> 01:29:34,039
(grunting)
1646
01:29:38,076 --> 01:29:40,046
(crowd cheering) (fighting exertions)
1647
01:29:42,947 --> 01:29:46,149
- (McCauley): Caine and Glatt going
at each other one after the other.
1648
01:29:46,150 --> 01:29:48,182
One, two, three.
1649
01:29:48,185 --> 01:29:50,886
- Aaah!
- (McCauley): Oh! He hammers Glatt!
1650
01:29:50,889 --> 01:29:53,024
- Fuck!
- (McCauley): Blood spews!
1651
01:30:00,398 --> 01:30:03,601
And these guys are being
left to their own devices.
1652
01:30:08,773 --> 01:30:11,140
- Yes!
- These men are wild!
1653
01:30:11,143 --> 01:30:14,113
They're crazy! There's
blood everywhere!
1654
01:30:16,782 --> 01:30:19,448
- Attaboy, Dougie.
1655
01:30:19,451 --> 01:30:23,284
I'm glad you came back, Doug! Come on!
1656
01:30:23,287 --> 01:30:25,923
(Anders roaring)
1657
01:30:28,092 --> 01:30:30,095
Aaaargh!
1658
01:30:36,934 --> 01:30:39,201
- (McCauley): Oh, blood and gore
1659
01:30:39,203 --> 01:30:41,369
all over the floor!
- Oh! Fuck!
1660
01:30:41,372 --> 01:30:44,841
- (McCauley): The
linesmen are nowhere
1661
01:30:44,842 --> 01:30:47,409
to be seen. You can't blame them.
1662
01:30:47,412 --> 01:30:50,115
(Doug panting)
1663
01:30:52,850 --> 01:30:55,887
(crowd gasping)
- Oh!
1664
01:30:58,421 --> 01:31:01,323
(bubbly, cracking noise)
- (crowd, chanting): Doug!
1665
01:31:01,326 --> 01:31:03,729
- Do it. Do it, Doug.
1666
01:31:05,496 --> 01:31:07,865
- Take his fucking head off!
- (Anders, whispering): Do it.
1667
01:31:11,235 --> 01:31:13,204
Do it.
1668
01:31:15,139 --> 01:31:16,940
- No.
1669
01:31:19,443 --> 01:31:21,743
It's over. (crowd cheering)
1670
01:31:21,746 --> 01:31:24,313
(dramatic music)
1671
01:31:24,314 --> 01:31:27,019
- It's never over.
1672
01:31:28,787 --> 01:31:30,989
We're gonna do this night after night.
1673
01:31:32,990 --> 01:31:36,792
Game... after fucking game.
1674
01:31:36,795 --> 01:31:39,027
(dramatic music) You hear me, Doug?
1675
01:31:39,029 --> 01:31:41,130
Game...
1676
01:31:41,131 --> 01:31:43,533
after fucking game.
1677
01:31:43,534 --> 01:31:47,034
Look up there, Doug. (cracking sound)
1678
01:31:47,037 --> 01:31:50,338
(heartbeat sound) Look at 'em.
1679
01:31:50,341 --> 01:31:52,807
This is it!
1680
01:31:52,810 --> 01:31:54,976
This is
1681
01:31:54,979 --> 01:31:57,346
what they want us to do.
- I'm doing whatever
1682
01:31:57,349 --> 01:32:01,182
my team needs me to do. We're just gonna
keep fucking bleeding out here...
1683
01:32:01,185 --> 01:32:03,953
- Oh, Doug.
- Over and over again
1684
01:32:03,954 --> 01:32:06,255
until they cart
1685
01:32:06,256 --> 01:32:08,257
every fucking last one of us
1686
01:32:08,260 --> 01:32:10,525
off the fucking ice!
1687
01:32:10,528 --> 01:32:11,829
- Doug!
- Dougie!
1688
01:32:25,076 --> 01:32:27,377
(cracking noise) (Doug groaning in pain)
1689
01:32:27,378 --> 01:32:30,479
(crowd cheering)
1690
01:32:30,481 --> 01:32:32,451
(triumphant music)
1691
01:32:36,287 --> 01:32:39,154
- Jesus, Doug. You OK?
1692
01:32:39,157 --> 01:32:41,793
- Not really, bud. Thanks for asking.
1693
01:32:46,296 --> 01:32:49,498
- Right there. Right there.
1694
01:32:49,501 --> 01:32:52,502
(high-pitched sounds)
1695
01:32:52,503 --> 01:32:54,907
(peaceful music)
1696
01:32:59,376 --> 01:33:02,578
- Anders, can you hear me? Hey, hey, hey.
1697
01:33:02,581 --> 01:33:04,949
(Anders coughing) It's OK.
1698
01:33:06,550 --> 01:33:09,351
- I fucking...
1699
01:33:09,354 --> 01:33:12,824
hate this sport.
1700
01:33:17,095 --> 01:33:20,032
(Anders laughing)
1701
01:33:21,465 --> 01:33:23,565
- One, two, three. (cracking noise)
1702
01:33:23,568 --> 01:33:26,335
- AAAARGH! Ah!
- (crowd, chanting): Doug!
1703
01:33:26,337 --> 01:33:29,371
- Don't hate me here.
- I don't hate you, Parky.
1704
01:33:29,372 --> 01:33:31,640
I could never hate you.
1705
01:33:31,643 --> 01:33:35,277
- (crowd): Highlanders! Highlanders!
1706
01:33:35,279 --> 01:33:36,979
Highlanders!
- (McCauley): There's only
1707
01:33:36,981 --> 01:33:39,347
seconds left and nothing is settled.
1708
01:33:39,350 --> 01:33:42,150
As Laflamme moves through the neutral
zone, gives it across the line.
1709
01:33:42,153 --> 01:33:45,256
He's got Stevenson on his
wagon. (stirring music)
1710
01:33:48,260 --> 01:33:50,429
- (crowd): Highlanders! Highlanders!
1711
01:33:53,030 --> 01:33:54,896
Highlanders!
1712
01:33:54,899 --> 01:33:57,135
- (McCauley): Laflamme's
now moving in toward Totan.
1713
01:33:59,104 --> 01:34:01,573
Five seconds left.
1714
01:34:04,975 --> 01:34:07,442
- Stevenson is here.
1715
01:34:07,444 --> 01:34:08,612
- Right winger!
1716
01:34:10,447 --> 01:34:13,114
- (McCauley): Laflamme
moving in on the backend.
1717
01:34:13,117 --> 01:34:15,619
(grandiose music)
1718
01:34:18,354 --> 01:34:22,627
- Excalibur!
1719
01:34:26,130 --> 01:34:28,563
(crowd cheering)
- (McCauley): Stevenson scores!
1720
01:34:28,564 --> 01:34:31,400
They did it! The Highlanders win!
1721
01:34:31,403 --> 01:34:33,402
The Highlanders win!
1722
01:34:33,404 --> 01:34:36,171
For just the second
time in ten years,
1723
01:34:36,173 --> 01:34:39,307
the Halifax Highlanders
are going to the playoffs.
1724
01:34:39,310 --> 01:34:41,546
(Turandot opera by Puccini)
1725
01:34:44,481 --> 01:34:47,082
- Yeah! Yeah!
1726
01:34:47,085 --> 01:34:49,488
Fucking A, you worthless cocksuckers!
1727
01:34:54,626 --> 01:34:58,363
- Bye, guys. (Turandot opera)
1728
01:35:19,384 --> 01:35:21,921
(rock music)
1729
01:35:25,657 --> 01:35:28,193
(man clearing his throat)
1730
01:35:34,465 --> 01:35:38,199
(man clearing his throat)
- That's when the hand job start.
1731
01:35:38,202 --> 01:35:41,136
Oh no, I was wrong. They're
starting early today.
1732
01:35:41,139 --> 01:35:42,738
No lube or nothing.
1733
01:35:42,740 --> 01:35:45,007
(rock song in background)
- Give it to him, Johnny!
1734
01:35:45,010 --> 01:35:48,609
Masturbate that penis. (laughter)
1735
01:35:48,612 --> 01:35:51,212
The weirdest fucking job ever!
1736
01:35:51,215 --> 01:35:53,515
- Oh!
- (people): Ohhh!
1737
01:35:53,518 --> 01:35:55,784
- Sorry about that. Bad chop in the ice.
1738
01:35:55,787 --> 01:35:58,087
- You good?
- I'm good.
1739
01:35:58,088 --> 01:35:59,721
- Wow, it smells like dick.
1740
01:35:59,724 --> 01:36:02,158
Oh God, it smells so much like piss.
1741
01:36:02,159 --> 01:36:04,525
(people laughing)
- I had no response to that.
1742
01:36:04,528 --> 01:36:06,462
- Well, if you give me enough booze,
1743
01:36:06,463 --> 01:36:09,030
I'll munch a box or two. I mean...
1744
01:36:09,033 --> 01:36:12,467
(people laughing)
1745
01:36:12,470 --> 01:36:14,301
Oh, my God!
1746
01:36:14,304 --> 01:36:17,204
- Only two?
- A couple.
1747
01:36:17,207 --> 01:36:19,440
- Let's try that one more time.
- What is the line?
1748
01:36:19,443 --> 01:36:23,377
- Highlanders! Highlanders!
(Petrov laughing)
1749
01:36:23,380 --> 01:36:27,216
Alright, shut the fuck
up. (people laughing)
1750
01:36:27,217 --> 01:36:29,252
What did you do, man? You
had a fucking jackoff selfie
1751
01:36:29,253 --> 01:36:31,252
on my grandmother's grave?
1752
01:36:31,255 --> 01:36:35,556
You fucking inbred, Slavic,
fucking potato vampire!
1753
01:36:35,559 --> 01:36:38,092
Tell you, man, knowing you
and playing with you is like
1754
01:36:38,095 --> 01:36:41,430
being like force-fed fucking junky piss.
1755
01:36:41,432 --> 01:36:43,498
And you two, you're like
1756
01:36:43,501 --> 01:36:45,567
fucking mother Russia's herpes, man!
1757
01:36:45,569 --> 01:36:48,103
The bitch shipped them to
Canada and fucking made me
1758
01:36:48,104 --> 01:36:51,373
deal with 'em.
- Belchy!
1759
01:36:51,376 --> 01:36:53,208
- He gets it! I love candy!
1760
01:36:53,211 --> 01:36:56,377
What? Yeah, I'll take a fucking
candy. I love fucking candy!
1761
01:36:56,380 --> 01:36:58,747
He fucking gets it. Fuck!
1762
01:36:58,750 --> 01:37:01,750
No! No more fucking candies!
1763
01:37:01,752 --> 01:37:04,418
- SportsDesk, we've got slogans.
1764
01:37:04,421 --> 01:37:08,123
SportsDesk, our slogan is a slogan.
1765
01:37:08,126 --> 01:37:10,493
You're watching SportsDesk.
SportsDesk, we're all pink
1766
01:37:10,494 --> 01:37:13,164
on the inside. (laughter)
1767
01:37:15,199 --> 01:37:17,132
- My fucking row! (men grunting)
1768
01:37:17,135 --> 01:37:18,833
Oh, fuck! Ow!
1769
01:37:18,836 --> 01:37:21,302
- Cut! (laughter)
1770
01:37:21,305 --> 01:37:23,538
- Sorry, dude, that was really awkward.
1771
01:37:23,541 --> 01:37:26,542
(laughter)
1772
01:37:26,543 --> 01:37:28,680
- Oh, man!
1773
01:37:31,715 --> 01:37:33,547
- The fuck you're wearing, dude?
1774
01:37:33,550 --> 01:37:35,583
- It's supposed to make me look big.
1775
01:37:35,586 --> 01:37:38,220
- Why do you shop in
little girls' section?
1776
01:37:38,222 --> 01:37:40,489
(laughter)
1777
01:37:40,492 --> 01:37:43,525
You honestly look like you're
on the fucking autobahn,
1778
01:37:43,528 --> 01:37:45,226
straight to gay town, man.
1779
01:37:45,229 --> 01:37:47,664
- On the blond bus to Analtown, huh?
1780
01:37:49,701 --> 01:37:52,502
You look like a little Nazi weightlifter.
1781
01:37:52,503 --> 01:37:55,270
(laughter)
1782
01:37:55,273 --> 01:37:57,739
- Power lifting fucking dongs, man.
1783
01:37:57,742 --> 01:37:59,641
- It's like...
- Cut!
1784
01:37:59,644 --> 01:38:02,310
(laughter)
1785
01:38:02,313 --> 01:38:04,378
- I - I guess they like him
'cause he's got, sort of,
1786
01:38:04,381 --> 01:38:06,381
smaller hands.
- Who wouldn't?
1787
01:38:06,384 --> 01:38:09,185
- You know, feels like a female's hands.
1788
01:38:09,186 --> 01:38:12,319
But make no mistake, that is a man.
1789
01:38:12,322 --> 01:38:14,524
(laughter)
- Cut!
1790
01:38:14,525 --> 01:38:17,659
- I'm not stooping to your fucking level.
1791
01:38:17,662 --> 01:38:19,793
- The mayonnaise is semen.
- What?!
1792
01:38:19,796 --> 01:38:21,496
- Enjoy the cannoli.
1793
01:38:21,497 --> 01:38:24,298
- This is so disrespectful, man!
1794
01:38:24,301 --> 01:38:27,601
And it better not have come
out of that fucking sturgeon.
1795
01:38:27,604 --> 01:38:31,208
(laughter)
1796
01:38:34,545 --> 01:38:37,878
- Always driving away the ones you love.
1797
01:38:37,881 --> 01:38:40,219
(laughter)
1798
01:38:45,421 --> 01:38:48,626
- I love this movie! (orchestral music)
1799
01:39:16,653 --> 01:39:18,655
♪♪♪
1800
01:39:39,577 --> 01:39:41,579
♪♪♪
1801
01:40:02,567 --> 01:40:04,603
♪♪♪
1802
01:40:20,617 --> 01:40:22,619
♪♪♪
1803
01:40:42,407 --> 01:40:44,408
♪♪♪
1804
01:40:48,378 --> 01:40:51,078
- Hockey history is full of star players
1805
01:40:51,081 --> 01:40:55,083
and its backup enforcers. You
know, you got Gretzky and McSorley.
1806
01:40:55,086 --> 01:40:57,386
- Well, I don't know if I'm a Gretzky.
1807
01:40:57,387 --> 01:41:01,020
- Thank you.
- Doug... Took our fucking microphone.